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charmandabear · 1 year ago

Text

Office Hours - Chapter Three

Summary:

Astarion surprises you by inviting you to his place... for a real date? The evening doesn't go as expected when you uncover the darkness in his past.

Pairing: Astarion/F!Reader Rating: E Word Count: 5.4k Tags/Warnings: mentions of Astarion's past, vampire bites, blood drinking, blow job, p in v sex, fluff with a very small side of angst, Shadowheart being a bit of a manic pixie dream best friend

Since y'all are insistent on encouraging my worst tendencies, here, have the longest single thing I've ever written. I think about Professor Astarion at all waking (and sleeping at this point) hours. I have other things planned, I will eventually write something else, I promise. But also... this one is now becoming a full-fledged multi-chapter fic. I'm half-considering rewriting the first few chapters so it's in third-person? I don't know though, let me know what you think.

H1ghVoltage and Zaria were both invaluable betas for this one, I appreciate you both so much. And Zaria for always providing the most perfect screenshots at the drop of a hat. This literally would not exist without you.

Read on AO3 ~ Masterlist

“Excuse me? The one you’re always going on about?” Shadowheart’s eyebrows disappear into her platinum bangs as she tucks her feet underneath her, holding up her wine glass so it doesn’t spill. The two of you met while moving into adjacent apartments a few years prior; it turned out you had both just been hired at the university, her at the Divinity School and you at the College of Arts and Sciences. Since then you’ve become fast friends, and you’re finally filling her in on all of the details of the whirlwind that has been the past few days. You hide your chagrin behind a sip of wine.

“Okay, listen, yes, but hear me out. He looks like this.” You hold out your phone and show her the English department faculty page.

“Oh. Oh,” she says in a low tone as her eyes study the screen. “Okay, you didn’t tell me that.”

“I think I was in denial,” you whine as you drop your head onto the couch cushion. “I focused on how much of an asshole he is to distract me from how hot he is.”

“And now? Will you see him again?” She tosses your phone at your feet and you lift your gaze.

“I don’t know? He made a joke about having sex in my office but I don’t think he actually meant it.” You cast a sidelong glance at Shadowheart, trying to gauge her expression.

“Scandalous,” she smiles into the rim of her glass before taking a long sip. You pick up your phone, looking at his portrait. It looks like a candid photo but it’s very clearly composed. He’s sitting pitched forward, his elbows resting on his knees. He’s looking off to the side and his brow is furrowed like he’s engaged in vigorous academic debate. It’s wildly pretentious.

You drop your phone again and angrily sip at your wine, letting the dry red flood over your tongue and coat the inside of your mouth. You notice Shadowheart eyeing you suspiciously.

“Do you want to?” she asks, and you put your glass onto the coffee table and curl your knees into your chest further.

“I… I don’t know? Like obviously the sex is good. Really good,” you add under your breath, and Shadowheart looks at you salaciously as your cheeks flush. “But whenever he says more than five words I want to gouge my eyes out.”

“Is that really how you feel, or have you just convinced yourself to feel that way?” she carefully asks. You glare at her, but you can't bring yourself to disagree. You drop your less-than-menacing expression and cover your face in your hands. You let out an exasperated sigh before suddenly gasping and looking up at her with wide eyes.

“Nine hells, did I tell you what else happened? At least one student knows. I saw her coming out of his office and she made some comment about ‘We all see how you look at him.’” You flop onto your side, burying your face in the couch cushion once again.

“Well, I suppose that answers your question, at least,” Shadowheart says reassuringly, and you narrow your eyes at her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean if you like him enough that your students are noticing, then you have to pursue him. The worst that’ll happen is you’ll break up and you can go back to hating him.” She’s awfully nonchalant about having just described a literal nightmare.

“Excuse me, how is that possibly meant to make me feel better?” you gape at her.

“At least you get a good shagging out of the deal, right?” she grins at you, and her teeth are tinged purple from the wine. You kick your foot out at her.

“Man, we need to get you laid, don’t we?” you tease and she groans.

“Listen, you just told me that you got railed twice in three days, it’s not that good out here for most of us.” Now it’s her turn to cover her face and you laugh. You pick up your wine and stretch your legs out to nudge Shadowheart’s calf.

“Who knows, maybe there’s some hot chick in the English department that he can hook you up with.” She pushes your leg back and rolls her eyes.

“Absolutely not, English academics are the worst.”

***

You have no idea what to expect when you inevitably run into Astarion the next day. You're tempted to just work from home since you don’t have any classes, but you have another damn season selection committee meeting that you can't miss, and you'd rather be around for students to drop in if they need to.

You're on your way to the bathroom at the end of the day when you finally see him. You almost don't, at first, since you're looking down at your phone and you stop short of barrelling into him. You lock eyes and smile politely, then step to your left just as he steps to his right. You two share an awkward laugh just as it happens again in the opposite direction. After another few seconds of uncomfortable shuffling, he takes you by your shoulders and moves you to the side. You give him a thankful grin and quickly move past, trying to ignore the burning in your cheeks and the way your arms tingle where he touched you.

You get to the bathroom and close the door behind you, leaning against it to brace yourself. Your stomach is roiling, though whether it was from the embarrassment, the insatiable lust, or something else entirely, you can't quite tell. You turn on the faucet and splash your face with cool water. You stare at your reflection in the mirror, trying to will yourself into stoicism. It's a losing battle as the image of him having you bent over the sink pops into your mind. You shake your head, trying to think of something else, but that only makes it worse.

He’s pressed you up against the bathroom door and he's got your wrists pinned together above your head.

No, stop, you scold yourself. But the second you banish that image another one comes flooding in, your leg draped over his shoulder as he’s lightly sucking your clit with his fingers curled inside you.

You're dizzy with the mental image and you try to wrest it from your mind. You focus on the visual stimuli around you, the white tile, the fluorescent lights, the small blue stain beneath the soap dispenser. Eventually you find yourself back in your body and you massage your temples, trying to focus.

Your head is still reeling slightly as you make your way back to your office. You unlock the door, completely unaware of his presence behind you until you catch a glimpse of him out of the corner of your eye. You yelp and in an instant he’s towering over you with your back up against the wall.

“Almighty gods, Astarion,” you swear breathlessly, your heart pounding more from the scare than the proximity for once. The proximity doesn’t help, however, when he tilts your chin with his knuckle and smiles devilishly.

“Come to my place, let me cook you dinner,” he purrs, and your breath quickens. But when his words finally break through the seductive tone, something in your brain stops.

“Wait, cook? Can you- do you even- how-” You still haven’t fully recovered and your mouth struggles to form words. His smile widens and you know he’s enjoying watching you splutter.

“What, do you think in all of my 350 years I've never bedded a mortal? Besides,” he trails his hand down your neck and strokes it gently with his thumb, sending a shiver down your spine, “I have other ways of getting my fill.”

You instinctively tilt your head for him, almost like you’re inviting him to bite right here and now. You manage to recoup your senses just enough to quip, “I’m sure you have plenty of experience luring cute mortals back to your place.”

You think you see his jaw tighten for a fraction of a second, but it’s gone before you can be sure.

“I’ll take it as a yes, then?” He pulls away and adjusts his glasses, his fingers sliding into his hair. You nod, not trusting the words to come out of your mouth. He pulls a slip of paper from his pocket and tucks it into the neckline of your shirt, a move that would have been unbearably corny coming from anyone else.

“See you then… lover.” He winks and glides out of the room as silently as he came in. You take a breath to steady yourself, a voice in the back of your head grumbling because of how much he has you wrapped around his finger. But admittedly, he seemed equally flustered when you almost plowed into him a few minutes ago.

Maybe not the best choice of words.

You pull the piece of paper out to see an address, date, and time. Tomorrow at 7.

Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool.

Now you just need to occupy yourself for the next 26 hours and not completely lose your nerve.

***

Occupying yourself isn’t terribly difficult with Shadowheart around. She keeps you busy all day with various errands, shopping, anything to keep you from spiraling.

Nevertheless, when it’s finally time to get dressed, you find yourself overthinking every tiny element. You stand frozen in front of your open underwear drawer trying to decide between the black lace or the pink satin.

“Shadowheeeaaaarrrrrtttt,” you call out to her in the other room. She pops her head in and gives you a pitying smile as she sees your anxiety-ridden face.

“Alright, sit, let me help,” she clinks her glass down on your dresser and nudges you until you’re sitting on your bed, fidgeting with the belt of your robe.

“Black lace, it’s sexier,” she says sagely, tossing the panties at you and you slide them on under your robe. She pulls the plaid skirt out of the shopping bag and flings it onto the bed.

“Put that on because we both agreed it’s adorable. It might be warm enough to go without tights?” she muses, then glances at you mischievously. “And since he has a track record of destroying those, maybe go with these instead.” She throws a pair of thigh highs at you and they hit you in the face. You wrinkle your nose.

“Careful,” you warn, but she ignores you. She floats over to your closet and sifts through the hangers. She pulls out a top, shifts her gaze between you and the garment a few times, then drops it on the floor. After another moment of searching, she pulls out a blousy cardigan, throwing it on the bed next to you.

“Don’t put that on yet, I’ll be right back.” She disappears before you can say anything. You’re left sitting on your bed in just your bra and skirt, and you rub your feet together with a restless energy.

Shadowheart returns just a few minutes later holding a lacy top that reads more as lingerie than an actual shirt. She returns your skeptical frown with a giant grin.

“Shade, I'm not wearing that,” you gripe, and she throws it in your face.

“Put it on before you judge,” she chides in response, and you roll your eyes.

“Fine, but it probably won't fit,” you say as you take off your bra and don the sheer v-neck cami. Other than straining around your chest slightly, the fit is fine. You put on the oversized cardigan over it and look at the full effect in your floor length mirror.

“See, told you,” she says smugly as you admire your reflection. And it's true, the underwear-as-outerwear really does bring the look from glorified schoolgirl cosplay into something a bit more refined. You give her a disgruntled sidelong glance but otherwise say nothing.

“Alright, get going. Go put your shoes on and chase that Ph D.” She pushes you out of your bedroom and towards the front door of your apartment. “Don't worry about me, I'll be here drinking your wine and masturbating all by myself while you get fucked through the end of the tenday.”

You slip on your black suede ankle boots and pleadingly look at Shadowheart one more time. You're still not convinced that this whole thing isn’t just a trip into the lion’s den.

“Go! I look forward to hearing all the gory details,” she says and plants a smooch on your cheek. She then smacks your ass as you head out the door, your yelp earning a satisfied smirk.

Sure enough, when you find yourself outside his apartment door, you can feel your cold feet catching up with you. You're about to take out your phone and text Shadowheart that you're going to leave when his door opens.

“Hello, beautiful,” he croons, and the syrup in his voice makes your mouth go dry. The sleeves of his white button down are rolled up and the first few buttons are undone, leaving his collarbone exposed. The black vest tapers in his waist and flows seamlessly into his well-tailored trousers. But the first thing you notice is his glasses.

“Your glasses are different,” you blurt, internally cursing your bluntness. His eyebrows pop up above the thicker plastic frames.

“Is that a problem?” he asks without a hint of malice in his voice. You blush and quickly shake your head.

“No I- I like them. They look good,” you stutter, looking away from the heat of his gaze. He smiles and takes your hand almost like he's leading you in a courtly dance, pulling you inside.

You look around his apartment, noticing the similarities to the hominess of his office. Big overfull bookshelves, warm-lit lamps dotted around the space, papers and other junk littered across every surface. It still surprises you that he doesn’t keep a tidy space, but at the same time you find it oddly charming.

You spot a hairless cat sitting on some mail on a table in the corner, delicately licking its paw.

“Aww, who’s this?” You approach the cat, holding out your hand for it to sniff. It hisses in response and you take a step back.

“That's His Majesty, and you're best to respect his wishes,” Astarion calls from the kitchen.

“You named your cat His Majesty?” you ask, trying to suppress the laugh bubbling in your throat.

“No, he named himself His Majesty,” he replies, returning from the kitchen with a spoonful of risotto. “Taste,” he commands and you obediently open your mouth. The steaming food coats your tongue with a tangy, savory taste. You nod at him, barely trusting yourself to speak. It tastes incredible.

You turn back to His Majesty, and you notice an empty potion of animal speaking tipped on its side near him.

“Well I'll just admire such a handsome creature from a distance, then,” you say and His Majesty preens slightly. You can hear a hum of approval from Astarion as he retreats back into the kitchen.

This man is full of contradictions. Pristine, clean cut outward appearance with a cluttered, disorganized space. Cool and disaffected, but he loves his cat enough to use potions to communicate with him. He doesn't need to eat, but somehow he’s an incredible cook? You frown to yourself; it feels like something doesn't add up.

You start scanning one of the bookshelves, wondering what else you can learn about him. If there was an organizational system, it wasn't clear. 48 Laws of Power, History of Modern Sexuality, On the Genealogy of Morality, Gender Trouble… Ayn Rand sitting next to Octavia Butler?

What the fuck does he like?

“How is my collection of books holding up in your estimation?” Astarion’s sudden presence behind you makes you jump. He presses a wine glass into your hand and ghosts his lips across the crook of your neck, sending a swath of goosebumps down your arms.

“Did I tell you that you look absolutely delicious?” he murmurs into your skin, and you can already feel yourself getting lightheaded.

“You're one to talk,” you say on a dizzied exhale, and the breath from his laugh tickles your shoulder. He puts his hands on your waist, running a finger along the inside of the waistband of your skirt. He gives it a gentle tug and you unconsciously move in the direction he’s pulling.

“Come eat,” he says, guiding you to a table with one place setting. You sit, feeling awkward as he sits across from you, a wine glass in his hand.

“Are you just going to watch me eat?” you laugh nervously. He smiles into the glass, glancing at you above the rectangular frames sliding down his nose.

“Well if you're insistent, I can have my dinner as well.” He's not subtle about leering at your neck, sparking a flicker of heat in your belly. You distract yourself by taking another bite of the risotto, which somehow tastes even better than what he fed you before.

“So what do you experience when you have… food?” you ask, trying to shift his attention off you eating. He looks up as he thinks, and you find your gaze tracing his jawline.

“It’s… sour. Like it’s spoiled. But when something is cooked well, and with high quality ingredients, it’s more bearable.”

You look down at your food, the taste dancing across your palette. It's certainly better than something you could make for yourself. But you know so little about cooking techniques besides the basics that you don’t know what the difference would even be.

“And you're drinking wine. What does that taste like?” You try not to stare at the dark red liquid collecting on his lips, but it’s hard not to when his tongue darts out to lick it up.

“Alcohol has a higher threshold for quality, so it's generally more palatable. It usually means a higher budget for these things, but it's not as though I'm spending much on groceries.” He narrows his eyes at you, but you can't read his expression.

“Well go on,” he continues, and you tilt your head in confusion. “Ask the question that you really want to ask.” Your heart starts beating a little faster and he smirks. Gods, you really hate that he can read you like that. It would be nice to keep at least one emotion private.

“What does blood taste like?” Your voice is barely above a whisper, but it's clear that he hears you. His smile widens just enough to show off his fangs.

“It depends on the person,” he replies just as casually as if you had asked him about his taste in music. “Some are sweeter, like a nice rich port, while others have a bit of a burn, like whiskey. However, you?” He places his glass on the table and stands, and you can feel the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end. He crosses behind your chair and sweeps your hair to the side, lasciviously inhaling your scent behind your ear, eliciting a shiver.

“Yours is smooth with a hint of spice, like a fine aged brandy. But the finish has an addictive quality, like absinthe.” He nips lightly at the base of your neck without breaking skin.

“Such pretty words,” you exhale on a breathy moan, reaching a hand up behind you and running your fingers through his hair, pulling him toward you ever so slightly.

“Is that what you want?” he breathes into your ear, and you arch your back in your seat, panting. You can barely get out the “yes” before he sweeps you out of the chair and wraps your legs around his waist. He carries you into the kitchen, placing you on the counter and pressing your knees apart with his torso. You whine and the cool tile pressing into your ass reminds you of his touch. He slides one hand behind your head and the other around your waist, and sinks his teeth into your neck.

The initial pain surprises you every time, and your yelp is followed by his satisfied groan. You grip the back of his neck as he drinks, and you can feel the muscles working with each swallow. The feeling of your blood coursing through both of your bodies gets you high, knowing it's your blood that flushes his lips, cheeks, and ears. It's your blood flowing to his cock. The reminder of it makes you clench instinctively.

He pulls away just as you're teetering on the edge of passing out. He’s always panting after he feeds, his glasses slightly askew and a ravenous look in his eye that makes your mouth water. You pull him into a heated kiss, the metallic tang on his lips becoming a sensory reminder of the post-feeding bliss.

You pull him closer with your feet, aching just to feel him pressed against you. Your hands scramble against his back, tugging at his collared shirt. He’s wearing far too many layers and he hasn’t even blessed you with the sight of his gorgeous sculpted chest yet.

You slide a hand into the back of his collar, desperate for his skin, when your fingers brush over thick raised scar tissue. He pulls back faster than you do and your hands immediately go to cover your mouth.

“I'm sorry, I didn’t–” you begin but the pained look in his eye makes you stop short.

“No it's… it's fine. I've had those for a very long time. I… ah…” he stutters, adjusting his glasses uncomfortably, and you've never seen him so flummoxed.

“What are they from?” The question leaves your mouth before you can stop it. You're about to retract, tell him he doesn't need to answer, when he speaks quietly.

“They're from… the man who turned me. He kept me as a slave for 200 years. It’s something written in infernal, but I never found out what it said. And his death ensured I never would.” He speaks while looking down at the floor, his distant gaze indicating that he's somewhere else entirely.

“Astarion…” you breathe, and you cup his face in your hands. He smirks and snakes his arms around your waist; the mask is back on.

“Don’t worry about me, darling,” he says with a composed smile, “it was a very long time ago. I’m more concerned with tonight.” He moves to kiss your neck again but you put your hand against his chest to stop him.

“No- well, I mean yes to tonight, but… let me take care of you,” you say softly, and his careful expression slips again.

“I- well if that’s what you want.” He crinkles his brow, unsure of what to make of your proposal.

“Is it what you want?” You stroke his cheek, and it suddenly feels like this is an entirely different man standing in front of you. Hesitant, vulnerable, his usual swaggering confidence replaced with an uncertain tenderness that makes your heart pound in a way that feels wholly unfamiliar with him.

“I’m not sure,” he says, his voice dropping to just above a whisper.

“We don’t have to,” you offer quickly, “we can just fuck up against a wall or something.” The joke breaks the tension and he lets out a little giggle.

“What do you have in mind?” He looks up at you through heavy-lidded eyes, and you ease off the counter and gently nudge him backwards toward his bedroom. He follows your lead, his doubtful look shifting into something of excitement and mischief. You guide him until the back of his knees hit the bed, and you push him to sit.

You straddle his lap and run your fingers through his silvery curls. You kiss along his jawline and down his neck, placing a particularly tender kiss on his bite scar. He exhales heavily, sliding his hands up your thighs and resting them on your lower back.

You begin carefully unbuttoning his vest, followed by his shirt, untucking the hem from his pants. You slide it down his shoulders and onto the bed behind him, letting your warm hands run over the cool planes of his skin. His eyes follow your movements carefully and you take your time, tracing over every divet, every freckle and mole. You delight in his gasp when your fingers dance over his navel and down to his belt buckle.

You slip off his lap and drop between his legs, your hands continuing their journey along his hips. You plant increasingly hungry kisses above his waistband as you remove his belt and unzip his pants. He leans back on his hands as his breathing quickens, but he doesn’t take his eyes off you.

You’re struck with the irony that the last time you were between Astarion’s legs like this it was to get revenge, to make him feel flustered and speechless the way he always does to you. Now you have him, flustered and speechless, and all you want is to worship him, make him feel warm and safe.

You slide his pants down under his ass, pulling them all the way off so he’s sitting on his bed fully nude. You run your lips along his inner thigh as you palm his growing erection.

“Ah- wait,” he stammers and you immediately look up and pull back.

“Yes?” you ask, frozen by the fear that you’ve gone too far.

“I want to see you,” he whispers, nudging your cardigan off your shoulder. “All of you.”

It’s hard to believe that someone sitting naked in front of you can make you feel so exposed. You shiver as you drop the cardigan off your back, the sudden exposure to cool air making your nipples poke through the lacy top that Shadowheart gave you. You stand and he watches intently as you unzip your skirt, letting it fall to the floor in a pool at your feet. His expression gives little away, but his cock doesn’t. By the time you’ve removed the black panties, thigh highs, and cami, it stands at full attention. His knees squeeze around your legs and his arms pull you in close to him, pressing his nose against your belly. You card your fingers through his hair and down to his chin, tilting his head upwards.

“Better?” you breathe, and he nods, his eyes round and wide. You bend down to kiss him, slow and languid, before dropping to your knees again. When you pull away his mouth stays open, suspended in the shape of your kiss.

You settle between his knees and lightly kiss the head of his dick. You flick your gaze upward, monitoring his expression as you lazily run your fingers along his shaft. His glasses balance on the tip of his nose as he looks down at you, transfixed by your ministrations. You open your lips slightly, not quite taking him into your mouth yet as you softly cup his balls in your hand. You can hear his breath growing ragged, and he rewards you with an almost inaudible moan when your tongue finally wets his cock.

You wrap your lips around his tip, gently working the underside with your tongue. You run your hands up his thighs, squeezing his hips as they buck into you. You take more of him in, the warmth of your mouth contrasting with the cool, sensitive skin. He groans and tangles his fingers in your hair, a gesture that feels closer to petting than pulling.

You pull your mouth off his cock, wrapping your hand around the now slick shaft. You run your thumb along the slit, and his responding shutter makes you smile.

“Ah- enjoying yourself?” he murmurs, unable to keep his voice steady. You look up at him and drag your tongue along his entire length.

“I am, are you?” you hum, taking him back into your mouth and swirling your tongue around the tip. His leg quivers beside you, his toes curling inward.

“Mmph,” he grunts in assent, his hand twisting into your hair a little more. You slip your hands under his thighs and slide your mouth further down, letting him fill you up. His hips jerk, wanting to thrust into you, and you relax your jaw to let him. His little pants and disjointed moans send a jolt of heat down to your core, and you can feel yourself becoming wet with desire for him.

You reach down and slip your middle finger between your slick folds, your groan vibrating into him. He hisses and pulls you off his cock and into a fierce kiss. The two of you tumble backwards onto the bed, your hair encircling you like a curtain. You press your bodies together, the smoldering heat spreading into a raging wildfire. He lines himself up with your entrance as you continue your desperate assault on his lips. He slides in with ease and your cry into his mouth accompanies him bottoming out.

You push yourself up, bracing yourself on his chest as you grind into him. He plants his hands on your hips, thrusting up into you. Your head falls back in ecstasy, your hair cascading down the length of your back. You increase the pace of your rolling hips, each breath growing more voiced as you approach your peak.

“Oh gods, Astarion,” you babble, his name falling out of your mouth like a prayer. He realizes you’re getting close, he sits up and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you into him tight. He latches onto your nipple, flicking his tongue and sucking to send your pleasure to staggering heights. You arch your back into him as your arms hook over his shoulders, brushing your hands against those awful scars. Your hands splay across his back as if to say no one will ever hurt you like that again.

You pull his face to yours so that you can taste his lips as you crash over the edge. The kiss is broken up by your cries and you can feel his cock throbbing inside you, his grunts in time with his pulsing seed. You stay still and connected as the waves of pleasure ebb and flow and finally settle. The only noise left in the room is both of your heavy panting, and the telltale sound of just your heart pounding.

His hands slide down your back as you carefully pull yourself off him and you shiver as his now-soft cock falls out of you. You kneel next to him and rest your head on his shoulder, and he reaches over to stroke your jaw.

“Thank you,” he hums softly, and you press another sweet kiss to his neck. His scar.

After a moment you let out a contented sigh, then you say, “Well, I should probably gather my things and go, then.” You begin to stand to dress, but his hand closes around your wrist. You turn to him, unable to hide the surprise on your face.

“Or you could… stay. If you want.” He looks up at you through smudged and sweaty glasses and a smile tugs at your lips.

“What do you want?” you ask, and you watch him shift uncomfortably with a question that he’s not used to answering.

“I want…” he begins, hesitant. “I want to watch last year’s Globe production of Much Ado About Nothing with you. You said you like that one, right?” Your ears grow hot as you realize the extent to which he actually paid attention to you, even before you were sleeping together.

“I do, yeah. One of his best,” you say, your voice cracking slightly as you repeat his words back to him. That interaction feels like it was eons ago, when in fact it was less than a tenday.

He smirks, some of his confident charm seeping back into his demeanor. He scoots back on the bed until he’s resting against the headboard, and then he reaches out to you, inviting you to curl in next to him. You oblige, and he turns on the TV across from the bed, pulling up the pro-shot. You sink in next to him, appreciating how his chest cools your flushed cheek.

A single word gnaws at the back of your mind and you banish it quickly.

No, that’s the oxytocin talking.

It’s just been a long time since you’ve slept with someone more than once.

He presses a kiss to the top of your head and the gnawing grows more insistent.

…

Fuck.

270 notes · View notes

more-sonorous · 13 days ago

Note

Hey! Hope everything is alright, we lost power lol- but uhh... Race head cannons? (I am sososo normal 😚) Good morning/day/night! 💜

hi, katz! thankfully the dorms still have power so i'm grateful to be bored out of my mind with internet access loll

race headcanons, let's do it!

his name is edward anthony higgins (which is partially real life canon and partially a nod to fanon) and he despises being called ed or any version of his first name (father's name). he's okay with tony or anthony, though.

i base my race off of livesies and 92sies (with a bit of uksies). his looks lean more towards ben cook and his personality is a mix of mostly max casella and a bit of josh barnett. sarcastic. fast-talking. impish little prankster. sorta mean and rough around the edges. big joker. ugh i just adore tough guy race and will always write him as such.

strong. (you've all seen ben cook's incredible biceps, need i explain?)

i adore the smart race headcanon. dk where it came from but i lovingly adopted it in both canon and modern

albert's his best friend in every universe

he and crutchie and jack are thick as thieves in every universe, caught somewhere between brothers and best friends

specifically canon era

got his nickname from selling out at the tracks in brooklyn, which i think is just plain canon but you can never be sure in this fandom

part irish (father) part english (mother), but he's born on u.s soil.

father is almost definitely 100% involved in gangs like the dead rabbits and the whyos

mother is dead oops

four older half-siblings (oops i think dad got around), two brothers two sisters, doesn't keep in touch with most of them but contacts occasionally as a last resort

manhattan's official second in command, takes over in jack's place when jack ages out. probably is not the next president of the newsboy union, but the next treasurer

related to the last one, the boy is excellent with numbers. very smart but just never had the opportunity to develop those skills. when davey starts school again, he offers to give race arithmetic lessons. when he realizes that race is better at arithmetic than he is, it turns into race helping davey do math homework.

two years younger than jack

became a newsie when he was around ten

misses his mom

knows he's smarter than most of these schmucks, so he's constantly running and winning card games/poker games/betting rings to trick people out of money. it's how he gets his mental stimulation, much to jack's annoyance (how else is he supposed to get extra cash for his expensive habits, jack?)

tobacco addiction oops

specifically modern era

got his nickname from being good at running, unironically. either he did track and field or he picked up the nickname from foster home shenanigans-- i pick my poison based on the au

absolute vape demon to the chagrin of all his friends.

foster system kid! mother is still dead and father was definitely involved in seedy criminal activities, currently in prison

still has all of those older half-siblings but... they do not get along, so his lil ass ended up in foster care at ten years old

misses his mom

still a certified genius when it comes to math and science, but he could care less about whatever else there is. he and davey make great study buddies because they excel where the other falters. they also make good tutors for jack, who needs a little assistance in all subjects that don't involve art or pe

i love making him a dancer in universes where that is financially possible, because here you've got this fast-talking witty tough guy that can whip out ten pirouettes in a row and flip across the room and still get up in your face-- then he still says 'and what about it?' and will beat your ass if you answer wrong

biggest case of gifted kid burnout you ever saw

could compete for valedictorian if he wanted to but he only tries in the subjects he has fun learning about

chronic procrastinator

because of the above, addicted to energy drinks as well. will probably need a kidney stone removed at some point in his life.

chews on the silver part of his pencils like the goblin he is

when someone (probably davey) tries to put him onto mechanical pencils, he snaps off the little plastic pocket clip and chews on that instead

augh thank you so much for the ask! i had so much fun answering <3

#newsies #headcanons #my headcanons #racetrack higgins #livesies #92sies #uksies #canon era #modern era #asks #answered asks #no twinkified racetrack in this house #this is a badass race household #this was literally so much fun to answer #SEND ME MORE #i could yap for days

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fyodoro · 2 years ago

Note

helloooo!! can I request a the pjsk boys with a reader who is "perfect"/popular (example: good grades, a lot of friends, talented in art/most school subjects, etc) but they actually hate it (bc people keep using it as an argument when the reader discusses about their grades)? I'm sorry if this is too specific bc this is basically a summary of me 😭 But anyway, thanks in advance, I love your writing <)

-> 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐁𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞…

You can’t help being a natural at almost anything you do, just like others can’t help seeing that as your only trait. Fortunately, there’s always someone who doesn’t see you only for your skills…

With Akito Shinonome, Toya Aoyagi, Tsukasa Tenma & Rui Kamishiro | Genre - Comfort with a fair amount of angst

Cw) anxiety, pent up emotions, belittling, fights (none between reader and characters listed above), it gets noticeably shorter during Tsukasa’s part cause I was tired

Akito felt honored at first. You, of all people, saw something good enough in him that was actually worth something. It almost didn’t feel real. But this type of thinking didn’t last long, not even a week in fact.

He quickly realized he shouldn’t have been idolizing you the way he was, and you were still a regular person just like him. You may be more skilled, intelligent and quicker than others, but you were still a regular high schooler at the end of the day.

But that didn’t make others think the same way.

You made everything look so easy, so simple. Your peers admired you for this, and held you up on the pedestal Akito once did. A part of him worried about you. After all, all these people can’t acknowledge any flaws you have. You should be happy, right?

But that wasn’t the case at all.

You felt pressured, anxious, worried. What if you messed something up? Would anyone ever see you the same way? Everything had to be perfect, it just has to.

The street singer recognized your thinking, it felt all too familiar to him. He assured you it’s okay to make mistakes, and not everything has to be perfect. But that’s what he thinks, what about what everyone else thinks? It didn’t take long for you to find that out however.

“Ah, I can’t believe I failed the exam… I didn’t think it’d be that hard!” One of your classmates said.

“Tell me about it, half the questions weren’t even on the study guide we got.” Another classmate replied.

The exam was… hard. But it wasn’t impossible. It felt like it was designed to challenge everyone rather than actually test the students. Even you flunked the test a bit.

“I bet you (Name) over there still managed to get a 100, right (Name)?” One of which called over to you, you didn’t bother to remember who though.

“Actually… I got a lower grade as well. 78 out of a 100. It was pretty difficult this time.” You replied.

You were hoping your words would make the others feel less failure. If you got a low grade- what they considered a perfect classmate and student- then they shouldn’t stress too much over their failures. Right?

You wish you were right.

“Are you kidding me? You get a 100 on like… everything! How did your grade drop that bad?” The girl scowled at you, feeling as if you were mocking her for some reason.

“Well it wasn’t the easiest, and it was designed to challenge us, including me.” You said back. Your two classmates looked at you in disbelief. Were you being serious?

“It’s different coming from you. You place in the top 10 all the time during these tests! Usually your first! You should have been the one who passed.” Ouch.

Those words hit you like a brick. Yeah… they were right, you were supposed to be the saving grace for the class’s average. And you went ahead and flopped just like everyone else? They were right, you had no excuse.

The bell rang and you picked up your bag, hastily walking out of the classroom. You couldn’t be seen like this, everyone’s going to find out…

Navigating the crowded hallways, you search for the school’s exit. The staff will only think you got sick and had to go home, no one would ever think of you as a class cutter. If it’s only one time… they shouldn’t mind.

Right as you were about to push the door open, a hand grabs your shoulder.

“Where do you think your going..?” A familiar voice asked.

You turn around, fearing the worst and expecting to make eye contact with a teacher.

“…without me.” He finished.

“Akito!”

He let go of your shoulder, figuring you got the hint. He chuckled a bit as your face showed relief. ‘They must have been really worried about getting caught.’ He thinks.

“Great to see you too. Now, would you answer the question?” His voice sounded stern, yet playful.

“It was just… a bad time today. In class I mean. Um, I don’t think I feel comfortable talking about it here though.” You said. The last thing you needed was for anyone to hear how badly you thought you screwed up.

“Alright then, lead the way.”

You looked both ways, making sure there were no witnesses nearby before pushing the door open and making a run for it, your boyfriend not far behind. You two ran for a few minutes until it was ensured no one was after you.

But neither of you quit moving. Akito wouldn’t say it himself, but he was also itching to get out of there, and was kinda grateful you were as well. Otherwise, he’d probably be suffering alone in school right now. You both were itching to get home- either of your homes.

Opening your front door- much calmer than the last door you opened, you didn’t waste a second to walk through. Kicking off your shoes and hanging your bag up, the ginger behind you following suit, you were finally home.

“So, what happened earlier?” He asked, throwing himself on your bed.He’s been wondering ever since he caught you at the school door, it was very out of character for you to.. rebel… like that.

“Right.. I had a little slip up in class. They were talking about tests grades- the most recent one they got. Everyone either failed or got below an 80, including me. I thought… I thought telling them I had a low grade as well would make them feel a bit better. But they got frustrated- saying something about how I can’t possibly fail a test.” You sighed, it was still fresh in your mind. Even as you crawled into your bed where you’re supposed to be calm.

Akito stayed silent for a moment, gathering his thoughts and thinking of the right words to use. Even if you didn’t say it flat out, he knew you were troubled at the thought of people thinking differently of you. You felt this strange ‘responsibility’ of maintaining this perfectionist reputation. He was never sure how to feel about that. Should he have reassured you more? Been more worried? He couldn’t help but feel guilty.

“You shouldn’t worry about what those bitches think. They clearly didn’t understand that test wasn’t meant to be passed with a perfect score, huh? You did though, and you still passed right? Even if you failed, that’s okay. At the end of the day… isn’t it just a number?”

You took a moment to process his words. He was right, you did still pass. Even if it wasn’t a perfect score… a passing grade is enough, right?

“You don’t like the way you are, don’t you?” He continued, this time getting past your imaginary mask.

You shook your head silently. Of course you didn’t. Everyone expects so much from you all the time, it’s so… stressful. You despised it, you’d do anything to be an average person.

He didn’t need you to say anything, your reaction was enough. He shifted closer to you so his presence felt less vague, it comforted you.

“I hope you realize you don’t have to do everything right, and I never want you to feel as if you have to keep that up around me.” Your heart warmed, of course he’d say that.

Even if everyone else wanted the most from you, Akito only wanted whatever you had to give. If it was nothing, that’s fine. You alone is enough for him.

It was hard for anyone to imagine Toya with a partner who’s so… outgoing. Even if it wasn’t intentional, you seemed to know anyone and everyone in the district. But as they say, opposites attract.

He never minded how well known you were. At times he may feel just a tad jealous when someone holds you up for too long, but besides that, it was never too much of a bother. He may not know what it’s like to be in your shoes, but he thought he had a good idea of what it was like.

Everyone knew you, almost all of them taking a liking to you. It was rare to hear of someone who disliked you for reasons other than jealousy. You must always have options when it comes to going out, and you’re probably entertained at functions like that often.

At least, that’s what Toya believed at first.

Slowly over time, he began to pick up on your sudden shifts in facial expressions. You were all smiles when an acquaintance came up to talk to you. But the moment they walked away, your face instantly dropped into what looked like annoyance.

You’d giggle with someone, but once they left you scoffed. You’d gossip with someone else, and once they left you’d roll your eyes. But not once did you verbally express complaint.

Toya was no idiot, he realized your stance on your popularity. You weren’t happy about it, at all. He intended in speaking to you about it eventually, but it came sooner than planned unexpectedly…

You were walking down the streets with Toya, on your way to meet up with his group at one of their favorite locations. There were more people walking than usual today, but you didn’t pay any mind to it, considering it irrelevant. But little did you know…

“Oh look, it’s (Name) and their boyfriend! How are you two?” A chipper girl said. She had an… odd… look in her eyes.

“We’re doing pretty good! We were just on our way to meet up with friends actually!” You smiled sweetly, but you felt sick to your stomach knowing who this girl was.

“That’s so cute! If you don’t mind, can me and my friends over there tag along? We won’t be a bother, I swear!” She practically squealed that first part, leaving your ears ringing.

Toya looked between you, the girl, and her friends a few feet away. He caught on to what you were thinking, thankfully.

“Apologies, but the meeting is exclusively for close friends. And we’re in a hurry, so if you’ll excuse us…”

‘He’s my saving grace’ You thought. Although, you thought just a little too soon.

“Wow (Name), you never said anything about your boyfriend being such a douche. You seriously gonna let him make these decisions for you?” You internally screamed at her, calling her all sorts of names. Of course, you refrained from this on the outside.

“He’s not making decisions for me, we are actually in a hurry and this meeting is exclusively for close friends. We need to get going now…” You took off, grabbing Toya’s hand in the process before she could say anything else.

You sighed, of course you had to have a run in like that on what was supposed to be a good day. Who knows what you’ll come home to hear this time. What’s it going to be now? You were a bitch to someone you barley knew simply because you didn’t want to be late? That is something they’d say to bring you down.

The hangout went smooth, no more random encounters with randoms. But the scene from earlier related over and over in your mind.

“(Name), are you alright?” Toya asked. He asked quietly in order to avoid attracting the attention of others, you found it considerate.

“I’m alright, just thinking. That’s all.” Liar.

Toya nodded, averting his attention back to the recording An and Akito were making him listen to. Apparently they were coming up with a new song for their next event, and wanted his input on it.

You found yourself dissociating from the group. It’s been hours, and you just wanted to get home to find out if anything new was spread about you.

“It’s getting late, I think me and (Name) are gonna head home now. Is that good, (Name)?” You practically jumped out of your seat when you heard “head home.”

“Yeah, I’m ready. I’m exhausted and need to go to sleep… I’ll see you all later!” You waved goodbye to everyone alongside Toya. Exiting Weekend Garage, making your way to Toya’s place.

The walk was silent, but a comfortable silent. Neither of you said a word the whole way to his place, but you still knew what the other was thinking.

Opening the door, he stepped aside to let you in first.

“We need to talk about something.” He said.

‘There it is…’ you thought. It was only a matter of time. He lead you upstairs to his room, hoping you’d be more comfortable talking in his own space. You took your spot on his bed, waiting for his next words.

“You’ve been acting strange, or I’ve noticed how strange you act. Specifically when your around people who seem to know you. Does that… make you uncomfortable?” Maybe it wasn’t the time to think of it, but you were relieved this wasn’t a breakup talk.

“It’s… complicated.”

“I’ll listen to any complications you have.”

Taking a deep breath, you let everything out. All the pent up frustration you’ve kept in for so long.

“I’m just so… annoyed. Annoyed with everyone. Not you of course, but all these other people. Everyone thinks I’m happy to hear their gossip about others, but it just makes me view everyone involved differently. Like that girl we saw today, she’s a cheating bitch who cheated on all her exes for some random guy she meets. And then if I tell anyone what I think of someone else, I’m the two-faced one.” You took another breath, you needed it after all that talking.

You threw your head back to the wall, sighing again. You weren’t even sure how it got like this, when all these people saw you as a comfort person. It was starting to stress you out.

Thankfully, Toya caught on. He took your hand in his and started rubbing circles on the back of your hand with his thumb. It’s the little actions that always mean the most.

“I couldn’t possibly know how you feel. But what I can tell you is that none of those people deserve you. If all they do is bad mouth others to you, messing with your head, then they could do the same thing back to you. You deserve the best possible friends out there, not people who think they know you.”

“You say I deserve the best friends, but I already have the best boyfriend, don’t I?” You pointed out. His cheeks flushed a bit, but only briefly.

You chuckled at his reaction, pulling him into a hug.

“Thank you, Toya. You’re the only person I ever want to know. Well, our other friends as well. But especially you.”

He smiled into your hair. Both of you were really lucky, huh?

You were always quite talented at the arts. Whether it be musical arts, visual arts, or any other type of art, it was guaranteed you would excel. This was what inevitably drew Tsukasa towards you. He found your talent admirable, and aspired to reach your level of skill one day.

Whenever you drew around him, he watched intently, starry eyes following every pencil stroke you made. Whenever you played an instrument near him, he’d drop whatever he was going to listen. It was almost spell-bounding to him.

You of course, appreciated his enthusiasm. But sometimes you wished he’d focus a little less on whatever your doing and focus more on you. You implied this discreetly once in a conversation, and he didn’t realize till later. Once he realized though, he thought it was better to focus on you more anyways.

If Tsukasa is able to pick up on that, shouldn’t anyone else be able to? You wished that was the case

You groaned out in frustration as yet another peer handed you their art assignment to “help” with. They disguised it as help, but in reality they only wanted you to finish it for them, that way they get a better grade. It was… annoying to say the least.

Examining what was left, it seemed possible to get it done before the class ends. You got to work immediately in order to avoid any more pestering later.

As usual, other students gathered over your shoulder. Some were a little too close for comfort, and it was starting to distract you. A lot.

“I’m sorry, but could you please back up a bit? You’re in my personal space and it’s pretty distracting.” You asked as politely as possible.

The male rolled his eyes a bit before backing up. You thought that would be the end of it- you wished that was the end of it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t.

“What do they mean they’re ‘distracted’? They were doing just fine when I was standing that close. Making a big deal out of nothing… geez.” He spoke up, a little too late after he moved away.

Your wrist stopped, dropping the pencil. ‘What’s his problem?’

“Excuse me?”

Anyone who wasn’t looking before was definitely looking now. The room went dead quiet after hearing the malice in your voice. Others near you backed away, while some got a bit closer to hear better.

“You didn’t hear me the first time? I said you’re making a big deal out of nothing. You were doing just fine. Was all that attention not enough for you? You wanted more? Well you definitely got it now.” He laughed at bit after that last remark, pissing you off even more.

“I heard you loud and clear the first time. Just wanted to see if you had the guts to repeat it is all.”

“Oh yeah? And what were you going to do if I didn’t?”

You abruptly stood up, getting more and more irritated with every second that passed. The look on this guy’s face was enough to frustrate you alone, his words were just additions to that.

You were toe to toe with him now. Your other classmates were finally backing away now, but the only one who didn’t stayed toe to toe with you.

“Cute, you’re just gonna stand there?” He mocked.

Clenching your fist as tight as ever, you raised it. The punch was swift, but it felt like a stab in the stomach to him.

“(Full Name). Office, now.” Apparently in the midst of everything, someone went off to get a teacher before it could escalate to… that. While they were a little late, it definitely prevented it from escalating further.

You walked to the office with the teacher, holding your head down in shame. It felt like all eyes were on you, and everything sounded so quiet. The only good thing to come out of this was getting sent home early.

You got let off with a 2 day suspension, while the one who provoked you only got a detention. It pissed you off reasonably, but there wasn’t anything you could do about it. Because he didn’t attack first or even attack at all, you were seen as the problem.

“…and that’s how my day went. Sorry Tsukasa, I won’t see you around school for a few days.” You finished telling your boyfriend all the events that occurred today, and why someone told him to ‘get his partner in check.’

He sat in front of you dumbfounded. For a moment, he felt all the rage you felt when everything was happening. He was almost as pissed off as you were at the detention punishment as well.

“But you were being harassed! It wasn’t physical, but who knew if that guy was going to throw a punch first. You were only sticking up for yourself!” He exclaimed. You sighed, muttering an “I know” under your breath.

He huffed, crossing his arms to express his seriousness right now.

“Well… I don’t think you did anything wrong. Shouldn’t the girl who made you finish her art project be blamed for all this? If she never gave it to you then this all could have been avoided!”

“I thought about that, but she wasn’t even in the room when all this happened. And it still comes back to me for doing her project anyways.”

Tsukasa sensed your frustration. He tried to calm himself down to avoid adding onto it, but it was still in the back of his mind.

“The only way any of this could have been avoided is if I sucked at art.” You bluntly said. Tsukasa turned his head, looking at you with wide eyes.

“Why would you want to suck at art though?” He asked.

“It’d keep people away from me, make them stop seeing me as a homework machine or something. I don’t like the kind of attention it gives me.”

He tried to understand where you were coming from, but it was difficult. He loves the attention being a self proclaimed star gets him, and would never want to give his title up. But you were the complete opposite.

Still, even if he didn’t understand, he’d try his best.

“I think… I think what you do is amazing (Name). But I don’t think it’s amazing that people use you for your talent, and I find it even less amazing how it deteriorates your self esteem.” He tried to keep his voice as soft as possible.

“Thank you, Tsukasa. I just… I just wish things went a little differently for me, that’s all.”

He could understand that this time. Sometimes he wished things went differently for him as well, but that thought was buried in the back of his mind with all the others.

He took your hand in his, reassuring you he wasn’t going anywhere. He swore he’d always see you as who you were as a person before your talents.

And it worked. The built up anger finally dying down.

Your scientific mind never went unnoticed by Rui. How could it be? Not only was it a trait he found quite attractive, but it was also what lead to your relationship with each other.

Not a day went by where he didn’t appreciate your love for all things science related. You’d frequently ask him questions about his own inventions, even offering help with a handful of them. The ones you assisted him with felt more important than any other inventions he had.

You were placed in the highest science courses available. Chemistry, physics, biology, you were somehow taking all of them at once. The school saw you as some sort of “prodigy” and wanted to push you as best as they possibly could. Which certainly worked! But…

Some students weren’t as welcoming as others. Not everyone thought your vast knowledge in science was normal, some even considered it ‘unhealthy.’ You tried your best to ignore them, but it’s hard to ignore something that’s right in front of you.

With chemistry involving, well, chemicals, your class was often in a lab room during the period. The professor enjoyed being unpredictable, so you never knew what to expect walking into the room. But you wouldn’t have thought he’d try something so… inconsiderate.

The first thing you noticed was a chart projected on the board, the second thing you notice is that it’s a seating chart. Any groups from earlier in the year were changed into random clusters. Some were excited for this change, while others, including yourself, groaned out in frustration.

Because of course, you just had to have the worst group.

Two members of the table seemed to be familiar with each other already, giggling amongst themselves. The third person looked completely out of it, not appearing to be paying attention to anything going on around him. You were already feeling like the odd one out here.

“Oh look, we have (Name) in our group! This class should be much easier now.” One of the girls said.

You looked at her for a moment, averting your guys to other next to her. She seemed to find what her friend said amusing, you could tell what was going on already.

“(Name) did I ever tell you how gorgeous your eyes are? Does wearing those… science goggles make your eyes look prettier?” Her smile seemed as fake as her lashes, but for now you just had to stay civil…

You tune the rest of the room out to focus on the assignment handed to you. All you had to do was write a few equations and answer some questions… nothing too bad. If you finish early, you can probably get out of this class sooner.

Your focus was disrupted by obnoxious tapping on the table.

“Can you give me the answers when you’re done?” Your group-mate asked. It took every ounce of self control to avoid rolling your eyes and turning away, instead you pretended you never heard her.

“Hello? Anyone there? Earth to (Name)~!” She said in a sing song voice. Still, as long as you pretend you never heard it…

“God, can they be anymore rude? They think they’re the shit just cause they’re in all these science courses. Just grow up already!” At that point she knew you were listening, and was resorting to shit talk to get your attention.

Unfortunately that was what grabbed your attention. Peering up at the girl with a look of annoyance, she giggled again.

“Looks like someone can hear after all!”

“Fuck off.” You replied. Stuffing your paper into your bag, you asked the teacher if you could see the nurse, to which he agreed. You couldn’t stand that table already, and you have to do that for a whole semester? Hell no.

Some students were already on their free period or lunch, so the hallways were a bit crowded, but not terribly. Thankfully it made it much easier to spot a tall purple haired male nearby.

“Rui, there you are.” You said while practically running up to him.

“Well, if it isn’t dear (Name), shouldn’t you be in..” You cut him off.

“Chemistry? Yeah. I got out to ‘go to the nurse’ but I really just wanted to cut the rest of the class. We got new groups today- mine is the worst.”

“I see…” he replied.

It was clear you were unhappy with these new seats, but there wasn’t much you could do about them. Rui acknowledged this, and tried to come up with quick solutions on the spot. Though he could tell you about them later. Right now, you just need a shoulder to lean on it seems. Literally and figuratively.

You sighed into his shoulder as he played with you hair. It felt more private in this part of the school, so there was less shame in the PDA. Besides, it at least looked normal compared to other couples.

“I hate science.” You said.

“Excuse me?”

Maybe you could have phrased that better… but part of you meant that as well.

“I just hate how everyone treats me because of science, it’s not fair. I’m just ahead of everyone else and have a passion, why is that such a problem?” You continued.

Rui knew exactly what you meant. He spent years being outcasted for being a weirdo, primarily about science. It was easy to sympathize with you.

“I know what you mean… but at the end of the day, who’ll be the one wearing a cool looking lab coat ten years from now? Definitely not them.” He joked, trying to lighten your mood a bit before class starts again. If anyone else had said that you’d have just rolled your eyes. But because it was Rui, you couldn’t help but chuckle.

You punched his shoulder lightly, making him chuckle. ‘Your spirits have been lifted up’ he thought.

“Just what would I do without you Rui…”

“Not thinking of yourself in a lab coat standing over everyone else, that’s for sure.” He replied.

Feeling better, you leaped up and stretched your arms out. Rui following suit, just a bit lazier. He handed you your bag and you thanked him.

“Mind walking me to my next class?” You asked.

“I’ll never mind doing anything for you. And… that’s our class, I’m in it as well.” He remarked teasingly. He sits right in front of you in that class, but you just wanted to see what he’d say.

“Right right, now let’s go before I accidentally drop a fire cracker here…”

You two were really made for each other, huh?

499 notes · View notes

expiationist · 2 years ago

Text

just a little stem vs humanities student story, since that seems so be a controversial topic in the academic world:

as a language and business double major, i absolutely think stem majors are another breed. hear me out. my best friend of 10 years is a biochem major, and she has always taken the hardest calc/physics/chem classes. she would get As on bio tests like it was first grade math. her knowledge eludes me. i have to try exponentially harder than her in every class we had together, and we barely even had the same classes! she took regular calc freshman year, got an A pretty easily. i took business calc, got an A because i was so close to an A and my professor saw how much effort i had put in and felt bad. i have always thought stem was much harder than anything i was pursuing.

until i heard her pov.

she is also pursuing a spanish minor, and has been taking spanish classes since 8th grade (we took our first spanish class together). i took spanish in 8th, 9th, and 10th grade, then stopped taking it through classes and started self studying japanese my junior year of highschool. she continued to pursue spanish and has taken in every year and every semester since 8th grade. shes studying abroad next semester, and we thought it would be a good idea for me to pick up spanish so she would have an opportunity to teach me and talk in spanish together. however, i picked it up pretty fast after not taking it for four years.

i noticed she felt ~some type of way~ about it, which prompted a conversation between the two of us.

to spare the mundane details, she thought it was insane that i caught up to where she was within weeks, after not having taken a class higher than high school spanish 2. i told her i thought it was insane that she got an A in every calc, physics, bio, and chem class, which i was never able to get a single A in (until business calc in college). she has a 4.0, taking what i thought were WAY harder classes than what i was taking. hell, i couldn’t even get an A in astronomy. astronomy.

she then talked about how i had rarely EVER gotten less than a 93 on essays, even if i had written them the night before, while she has to spend weeks on essays to get a good grade on them.

the moral of this story, is that everyone has their own talents. science comes natural to her. languages and humanities come natural to me. i find her talents way harder. she finds my talents way harder because humanities tend to be subjective, and business requires a certain personality and being good with people, which she doesn’t see those qualities in herself.

personally, i think anyone who pushes the “stem is objectively harder” agenda is probably just insecure in their own abilities to do arts/humanities/business. a real mature student can see that everyone has their own talents and a field that is suited to them! there is no need to invalidate peoples academic pursuits. college should be about finding what YOU love and want to pursue, not invalidating everyone and making them feel dumber because they chose a different path from you.

do what you love, and study hard if you love it! just because someone studies humanities subjects doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of succeeding in stem. and just because you study stem doesn’t make you smarter than someone who doesn’t choose to pursue that.

HOWEVER. from my pov, stem is like actually shit from Mars that i will never be able to wrap my head around, so to be humble ill admit i could NEVER study stem subjects beyond general education requirements. kudos to you guys! but that doesnt apply to every a&h kid out there!

#study blog #studyblr #studyinspo #stem aesthetic #stemeducation #stem academia #arts and humanities #art #art student #humanities #academia aesthetic #chaotic academia #university #langblr #japanese langblr #japanese #japanese language #langblog

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harrisonarchive · 2 years ago

Photo

Happy birthday to Dhani Harrison! (Photo by David M. Benett.)

“When your parents are cool hippies, the only way to rebel is to get straight A’s, do sports and enroll in a military school. That’s what I did.” - Dhani Harrison, New York Post, February 17, 2009

“Seeing how amazing, sweet and talented Dhani is, and how cool and amazing Olivia is — you can tell a lot about a person by who their friends are and who they love. […] They’re such incredible people, and they love him so much, and you can see how much he loved them. I love his art, his gardens and his home, and all the incredible things he’s written, but I think my favorite moment of George’s is Dhani and Olivia." - Regina Spektor, Filter, Fall 2011

“Shortly after Dhani was born Ravi and Alla Rakha took the train over to visit us [George, Olivia and Dhani], and I picked them up at Reading. They came over to see the baby, and Ravi wrote a tune called ‘Dhani.’ The name 'Dhani’ actually came from my study of Indian music: from the scale of Sa-Ri-Ga-Ma-Pa-DHA-NI-Sa. So he wrote this song, and Alla Rahka played on one half of the tabla, the bayan.” - George Harrison, Raga Mala (1997)

“Of course one of my favorites on there [Gone Troppo] is ‘Unknown Delight.’ He was saying, ‘What should I write about? What should I write a song about?’ I said, ‘Write a song about Dhani,’ and he wrote this beautiful song which was very prescient actually.” - Olivia Harrison, Dark Horse Radio, 2018

“‘Jerry Moss [A&M co-founder] put my mom on the Dark Horse project because she was the only person cool enough there,’ adds Dhani. ‘She was a meditator, and they figured she would get on with my dad real well, which evidently she did.’ The two were married in 1978, the year Dhani was born: ‘I was one of their early releases,’ he says drolly.)” - Rolling Stone, March 9, 2020

“I didn’t really learn to play from my dad, I learned to play with my dad. He never really taught me anything but the 12-bar and the fundamental chords; we just played a lot together.” - Dhani Harrison, Filter, Fall 2011

“[Dhani] fondly recalled how the two would often sit together at home, strumming their acoustic guitars, as they played vintage blues songs by Leadbelly, Robert Johnson and J.B. Lenoir.” - Pop Talk, creators dot com

“‘George never held anything back, even when Dhani was really young, so they were very close, and Dhani had a clear understanding. Some of the things George told him, it was almost like he knew he might not be around later on, so he had to tell him then. ‘So yes, it’s difficult to make your own way, but that’s what it was, and Dhani loved that guy, they were very close.’ Olivia could equally be talking about herself.” - Huffington Post, September 24, 2014 (x)

#Dhani Harrison #George Harrison #Olivia Harrison #quote #quotes about George #quotes by George #long read #George and Dhani #George and Olivia #Unknown Delight #fits queue like a glove

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cornflowershade · 10 months ago

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Get To Know Me Tag!

thanks for tagging me @distant-screaming ! <33 💕 and @airenyah ! <33 ☺️💗

do you make your bed? typically no. I mean, I'll pull the sheets up so that it looks kind of okay but that's about it.

what's your favourite number? i don't think i have one 🤔 but I've always preferred odd numbers.

what is your job? working with kids part-time at an after school! we get to play games and go outside and do art. on thursdays I dance with them. it's a good time :)

if you could go back to school, would you? mmm. maybe! (but it wouldn't be with the intention of going into a that new field—I just like to learn and also enjoy school lol.) I was just talking the other day about how there's so many things I would've loved to study that I didn't go for or only discovered later. Like film! I want to know how to film things and have them look super professional for my personal fan projects.

can you parallel park? nope. never learned how and haven't had a chance to continue practicing driving bc... life. i'm still on my learners permit 🙃

a job you had that would surprise people? not sure what would be surprising honesty! But uh, I used to do website design for people.

do you think aliens are real? like... no but also yes? I think it's safe to assume that somewhere in the universe there could be life of some kind.

can you drive a manual car? nope

what's your guilty pleasure? wracking my brain and i literally can't think of something right now, i'm sorry

tattoos? nope! I like to change up my aesthetics too often for something that permanent asdfg. I stick with the occasional eyeliner tattoos or henna xD

favorite color? red!!! also blue. but I love most colors <33

favorite type of music? i listen to (most) any kind of music! just depends on what I feel like :)

do you like puzzles? like physical puzzle-piece puzzles? not really, I get a little antsy and don't have the patience for them! Unless it's a kids puzzle but then they're often too easy lol. BUT if we're talking mental puzzles, I love that. Like trying to code something and crack how to get a thing working... that's fun.

any phobias? i'm a bit afraid of heights. (not being high up in all situations, but specifically if there's a way to fall down. like sure I'll climb on top of things sometimes, but if it's too high or feels like there's an easy way to fall off then i get scared. sometimes kids try to get me to climb on the jungle gym equipment at work but this is simply not going to happen).

favorite childhood sport? horseback riding :)

do you talk to yourself? yes, but not out loud, just in my head. though a lot of the time it's actually fake conversations with other people or made up people. My brain makes up situations lol.

what movies do you adore? 'the lego batman movie', 'legally blonde'... when it comes to movies i'll watch over again it's usually the more feel-good type stuff

coffee or tea? tea! (I actively dislike the taste of coffee.) But also, I find tea very calming and it makes me happy! like, it's just so cozy!! especially if you have a little time for it, to make it a peaceful moment. boil the water, pick out a cup, sit with it all warm in your hands. rushed tea is not the thing.

first thing you wanted to be growing up? either being an actress or a teacher! :)

tagging: @qt-qtoey @softneomiro @lamonnaie @celestial-sapphicss @moonkhao

#tag game

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booksrbetterthanpeople · 2 years ago

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Marc: Kiran, do you know how this car got in here?

Kiran: Yes, I do.

Marc: How?

Kiran: Through the window.

—

Sabrina: Your sister is such a tattle-tale.

Zoé: I am not and I'm telling you said that.

—

Simon: Gee, your hair smells like melon. What are you using?

Denise: Oh, it's this new product called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells like Melon.'

—

Nino: Adrien, it's finally happened! He's cleaning liquid soap!

Ivan: Don’t be silly. I’m just cleaning my rubber gloves.

Nino: Ivan, there's no shame in therapy.

—

Mme. Bustier: Okay guys. Lets pick a name for our new classroom puppy. Chloé do you have a name for the puppy?

Chloé: Yes I do. Chloé.

Alya: That's your name.

Chloé: I like my name.

Kim: I have the perfect name. Mr. Dog!

Alix: Mr. Dog? Kim, when you have a kid someday what are you going to name it? Mr. Baby?

Kim: Not if its a girl.

Myléne: I think we should name him something that fits his personality. Like... Puddles.

Nino: I have the perfect name! Comet. Because he's fast and he has a tail.

Nathaniel: And he only hits the newspaper once every 76 years.

—

Ismael: I never had them and I never will. I'm immune to chicken pox.

Cosette: You can't be immune to chicken pox!

Ismael: Ever kid in my school had them but me. I guess when you're an awesome physical specimen like my own bad self, germs take one look at my body and say, 'Hey, why waste our time?'

Reshma: Women say the same thing.

—

Chat Noir: M’lady, I have a question. What's a boy ladybug called?

Ladybug: *thinks for a moment* Confused.

—

Denise: Papá, with all respect, you can't send me to my room now. I'm a married enby.

Flavio: No you're not.

Simon: Dad-

Flavio: Please don't call me that!

Simon: What is it you do?

Flavio: I co-own a cafe.

Simon: I will study hard...and when you die, I will take over the family business.

Flavio: … I will never die.

—

*Adrien and Félix walk in dressed exactly alike*

Nino: Whoa! Freaky! Try to tell 'em apart!

Félix: You'll never guess, losers.

Marinette: Ohhh this is a toughie, but I bet that the real Félix is the one that just called us losers. And you are Adrien.

Adrien: Aw nuts.

Félix: Aw hoo..

Nino: Bless you

—

Marc: *Putting Kiran to bed* Don't shake your head. Your story is read. Now, you must go to bed. To bed, I said.

Alyssa: Honey, you really gotta cut back on the Dr. Suess.

—

Denise: I'm older.

Cerise: I'm younger.

Denise: I’m taller.

Cerise: I'm shorter.

Denise: I'm smarter.

Cerise: I'm... not falling for that.

—

Lacey: Dude, lots of babies are bald.

Jean: Not me. When I was born, the doctor smacked my butt and gave me a blow dryer.

—

Mme. Mendeleiv: Kissing a girl who smokes is like kissing an ash tray.

Mme. Bustier: What ash tray have you been kissing?

Mme. Mendeleiv: My Aunt Ida. I mean I love her, but she smokes so much, her Dalmatian is all black.

—

Louis: *after looking in refrigerator* This fridge is a joke! No Ding-Dongs, no Ho-Ho's, no Nutty Buddy's... it's bone-dry!

Nathaniel: I have raisins.

Louis: I'm allergic to raisins. My lips blow up and I can't talk when I eat raisins!

Nathaniel: ...raisins it is then!

—

Ivan: *After Kim walks in wearing drag* Kim’s a girl.

Max: No, he's a women.

Alix: An ugly women.

—

Austin T: Jean here is a Shakespeare freak. Aren't you, my little Hamlet-and-cheese?

Jean: *embarrassed* Whatever.

Austin B: Jean, you're into Shakespeare?

Austin T: Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, and Summer's lease hath all too short a date.

Austin Q: … Wow, Jean, I had no idea you had such a sensative soul.

Jean: … Whatever.

—

Lacey: You two think you're so cute.

Evan: Don't worry.

Jeremy: Be happy!

Lacey: Oh no! You two ARE so cute!

—

Ivan: When I was a kid, the kids used to tease me. They called me 'Zorba the Geek.'

Kim: *laughs hysterically, then grows serious when he sees the killer look on Ivan’s face* Kids can be so cruel.

—

Marinette Chloé said she heard a strange noise outside, but if you ask me, it's a desperate plea for attention.

Sabine: Marinette, stop watching Oprah and start doing your homework.

—

Cosette: Are you gonna cook the baby?

Yvette: We're changing her diaper.

Cosette: Oh, then how do you roast a turkey?

—

Denise: … I want to look like these models.

Simon: Why?

Denise: Because they're pretty!

Simon: I think you're pretty.

—

M. Monlataing: I'm calling children's services to handle this.

Alix: Why?

M. Monlataing: Because if I don't, I'm going over there to straighten him out myself!

—

Adrien: That's it. Loosen up, be very fluid. Be very fluid-y. That's it! Now... once you get it going, you shift the weight and you go. *starts walking* And it's a strut, and it's cool, and it's a strut, and it's cool. See? Like that?

Steve Urkel: Very inspiring. *tries to walk, but instead of a strut, he walks sidways on his toes bouncing highly*

Adrien: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, uh, that's close.

Steve Urkel: Really? Well, oh. Well, that was a walk on the wild side. But, you should ty it with your elbows out. It's much better for circulation.

Adrien: Oh, really? Like this? *sticks elbows out*

Steve Urkel: Yeah. *Adrien starts to walk*!You're doing fine.

Adrien: You, know? I do feel the blood flowing better. It's very - WHAT AM I DOING?

Steve Urkel: Well, here's another fun way to kill time. Let's share a life story. I'll go first. I was born on a cold night in Chicago, 1976, the year of America's bicenntinal. My mom was in a great deal of pain and I was charging through! And...

Adrien: Uh! I think I hear the girls in the courtyard. Why, don't you just go and... yeah. Right in the courtyard area.

—

Nathaniel: Hey! You girls are the ones who drilled a peep hole in the boys’ locker room!

Rando Girl: Yeah, and you're the reason we plugged it up, backne!

Nathaniel: The peep hole works both ways, Zit Butt!

—

Alya: *to Tom and Sabine* My mother would never let me go to a boy's apartment unsupervised, what kind of parents are you?

—

Alim: *Knocks on the door* Alix, are you in there?

Alix: Yeah one sec, dad! *clears off pillows off of her bed, and pushes Nathaniel under the covers*

Nathaniel: *Drunk* Wassup, Alix?

Alix: Nath, we're going to play a little game okay? Whoever stays quietest the longest gets to lipwrestle with the captain of the soccer team!

Nathaniel: Goal!

—

Simon: Did you happen to get a picture of the front of the horse too?

Austin A: This happens to be one of my relatives. If you wanna see yours, you could go rent "Gorillas in the Mist."

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #full house #incorrect quotes #random post

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anxiouslittlecarrot · 2 years ago

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I completely agree with your Barbie analysis. Growing up, I don't see Barbie as the bimbofied or being "too feminine". I saw her as being passionate and driven to achieve her goals no matter if she wants to be a princess or a musketeer. I saw her as being genuinely lovely and supportive of everybody as she did her best to ensure her team (no matter what movie) to also achieve their own dreams, all those teamwork and persistence finally payed off.

I used to wait until the ending of the movie to actually literally take a photo of the Barbie quote. (All I had was a camera back then hahah) Barbie literally changed my mindset that even I can achieve what I want without comprising my own identity.

The good ol’ days of physical cameras :’] That’s really cool! Barbie is a great character and honestly I didn’t realise that until six months ago.

I wasn’t like super into Barbie growing up. I had a few because people liked gifting them to me, and I did play with them, but I guess reading worked better for me as a form of escapism than playing. I also felt very self-conscious playing. I had a few VHSs in my father's place, Barbie Rapunzel, the Nutcracker, and Swan Lake, but I was sort of embarrassed of watching them around him. But I loved watching my aunt play with hers (she’s 5 years older, and had all the things).

As I grew, I became more and more embarrassed of being a girl, of my curves, of my existence. Obviously this common demeaning of femininity had a lot to do with it, and my father’s attitude as well. I needed to be strong and I didn’t want to be objectified and started to reject all that was feminine and bury myself under clothes. Also, I was an emokid, so a lot of black and sadness inside, not much space for pink confidence. At the start of my teen years I began to absorb the critiques on Barbie; they dressed themselves as intellectualism, so of course I would.

The Barbie message is exactly what I needed and didn’t get.

But when I started design school, I met my best friend and she is the most Barbie-Sharpay Evans-Elle Woods person to ever exist. She loves pink, her house is pink, and she’s confidence itself. Besides, by studying in an art building you start to get in touch with the nuances and importance of real feminism, body positivity, body neutrality, unconditional respect, bodily autonomy, etc. So I started to make peace with femininity again.

I only became an actual Barbie stan last september. We had to pick a brand for a class project so I picked Barbie because I thought it’d be fun and did a deep dive on the history to begin with. And BOY, was I pleasantly surprised! I'm no expert, but I am a fan now.

I would never say she has been stellar in all representation facets since 1959, absolutely not! I myself am a 1,51m tall latina, I have brown eyes, brown curly hair I straightened from 11 to 19 years old… I never felt represented in her, but the actual problem was that I didn’t feel represented anywhere else either. Barbie can be incredible in some aspects and fall short in others, those things can be true at the same time. Besides, it’s okay for a thing to not cover absolutely all bases, we really need to take it easy. The point of her is "hey, you can be pink AND president, if you want to". And that's still revolutionary. She's actually a really great character, with really great messages.

We give Barbie way more grief than she deserves.

#I suppose I'm a barbie fan blog now #and my notifications are ruined #barbie #barbie post #carrot.ask

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returnedfromthepurge · 1 year ago

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I still remember.

I remember when I couldn't even stand people talking about the problems they had with their children on a radio show because I was so overloaded with stress about the 20+ children at the daycare I was parenting*. (* What daycare is these days.) I would legitimately get so angry and turn it off for the rest of the ride because I didn't want to hear anything anymore. And I had an hour drive to get home.

I would lay down for sleep and try to do my nightly routines and my mind would play back any sound I'd heard that day, their screaming, the tiny voices shouting my name and their whining. I'd try to do things for stress relief, and needed headphones to separate my mind, to avoid replaying the songs in my head that had to be played all day, because stereo player silence was not looked positively on by management or auditors.

I remember being so sick of the mascots and insisting to the children that they were real, and these characters were the reason for art and music and why we study them. I felt like I was experiencing Corporate Hell and brainwashing three year olds to talk to a plastic sticker on the wall of a mascot when I didn't have time to interact with them. We were encouraged to use that tactic often, when a child would come to us to interrupt, not knowing better of patience.

The main mascot was used as a moral guidepost, however vague.

Everything below the cut is what the tags are about.

I had a parent who told me he was surprised his five year old son was still dressed when he came to pick him up- because at his old daycare, they left him undress whenever.

I never had stress like the day I reported to CPS about a child who'd did and said things that no one his age group should even know about. That child knew evil and it was present in his eyes. I have never wanted violence so desperately, to kill what he had been made into before he got to hurt more people. I wanted to kill a five year old boy and the human creature that turned him into this .His family could die too, the entire bloodline as far as I was concerned. I wanted the satisfaction that I could not have years ago, to kill the one that had possessed someone I'd loved and adored years ago, that was now infested in this child that I could see perfect dullness in his dead eyes. They had no life in them, and I wanted to be the one to be the one who stopped the flow of blood to his diseased mind. I saved many young minds from trauma by resisting that urge in front of them. He was transferred by his parents to a different school.

The day I vented about it to my friend, I was so distracted talking to the phone in the passenger seat, I rear ended someone, and wrecked my vehicle so badly it was undrivable. Everyone was uninjured. It was ruled an accident due to the slick roads. I still think that pickup driver was texting at a green light.

Weeks before I decided I would quit, I sat out beside a large bush next to a fast food place, and tears escaped before I knew why they were coming. I laid in the dirt until it was time to go clock in. A week before, I had had a panic attack terrible enough to take myself to the hospital, afraid what I would do if given the chance to run into traffic .

I bought myself a new shirt on the first day after the hospital, because I was told to be around people, for my own safety. For the days I took to recover, I bought myself a print of that one Louis Wainwright painting , " I am happy because everyone loves me." and framed it a month later.

I don't know that I'm strong enough anymore to handle having children of my own. I think I might be the best example of a person who should not have any. I think I'll be surgically sterilized as soon as possible.

I'm better now. I very truly love the job I'm at. But I know my limits more intimately than I ever thought I could. And I'm never putting myself in a situation again where I'm doing the emotional labor for parents and employers who throw money and gifts at me.

#abuse mention.#tw sui ideation #child abuse ment cw #daycare Problems #parenting issues #emotional labor #i'm better now #kill the lazy parenting ideas

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xwx26 · 3 months ago

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"Pushing Boundaries, Student Competitions in Games Art and Design"- What does it takes to win? How does participating help?

This time around, we had to do cast studies of an art competition of our choosing, where we have to do a case study on why we think they won, and how the competition may have impacted their careers.

Since I am a character artist, I looked for competitions that had categories for characters. I ended up picking the ArtStation challenge as not only it will have thousands of participants due to how big ArtStation is, but it also had a section that was for characters but rendered in real time, therefore, the models were optimized for games.

I chose the Neo Tokyo challenge as I liked its aesthetic, and this challenge had 5294 participants. These were the 3 winners:

-1st Place:Olya Anufrieva

Fig.1: Neo Tokyo by Olya Anufrieva

-2nd Place:Viacheslav Gedich

Fig.2: Neo Tokyo by Viacheslav Gedich

-3rd Place: Ekaterina Renvirr

Fig.3: Neo Tokyo by Ekaterina Renvirr

I also managed to find the judging criteria for the ArtStation Challenges, it states "Game characters will be judged on creative details, personality and execution of the original concept. The game characters will embody the future of humanity in the megatropolis of Neo Tokyo and will tell a compelling story which produces an emotional response. Strong composition, modeling, texturing and lighting will also be crucial components in an entry’s success."(ArtStation, 2024)

The 3 winners undoubtly present huge amount of skills, even more impressive when they only have 1 month and a half for the deadline. The sculpting in all 3 are highly detailed, their precisness and polish are something I want to aspire to. The technical parts of a game model are also done really well, with efficient retopologies, and not many unncessary UV maps. All these 3 winners are coincidentally stylized, so the textures are mostly hand painted, which was done perfectly.

In my opinion, I think what set each one apart from 1st,2nd and 3rd place, and even those that got nomintated but did not win, was they way these 3 artists interpreted the original concept art.

For example, in the 1st winners case, Olya took this concept by Ruan Zoe:

Fig.4: Concept art by Ruan Zoe

While Ruan Zoe provided the design and a brief description of its character, Olya was able to elevate the character via storytelling. For example, the background she chose for her render depict a typical Tokyo street, which really emphasizes on how the character is just some average person on some average street. Ruan described the character as a high school student, so perphaps she was on her way to school on her routine walk but she suddenly got a mission so had to change clothes in the middle of the street.

The soft lighting in the scene also highlights in a way the youthfulness of a high school student, which is then contrasted by her violent and edgy design.

In addition, I think Olya has managed to also add her own ideas, with for example, the shiny fish pattern on her casket was brand newly invented by Olya as in Ruan´s concept is just a bunch of scribbles.

On the other hand, the 3rd place took a concept by fish as their reference:

Fig.5: Concept art by fish

While it is technically impressive, excellenty well reimagined in 3D, I feel like Ekatarina perhpas went too literal and there is not a lot of storytelling involved in her renders. The 3D model looks the exact same as the 2D with no new details, or any new subtle interpretation done by her.

Therefore in conclusion, I have learnt that technical skills while incredibly important, in order to take the egde in a competition is that, even if based on a concept art done by someone else, to try to add even more to the idea done by the concept artist even if subtle differences.

In terms of how this competion moved the winners careers, for Olya I unfortunately was not able to find anything about her, including her linkedin, but I would assume that the competition probably brought her a lot of visibility, network opportunities and lots of interested people or companies approaching her.

For Viacheslav, I found his linkedin, and he has been working for a while for the same company, so while the competition did not necessarily make him jump to another company or anything, the benefits he reaped were the same as Olyas.

Lastly, for Ekaterina, she was working for one studio whilst during the competion, however, since 2023, she has moved to another and has been able to work on Fornite characters. While the competition might have not directly given her that job, I assume that all the networking and visibility she has gained from winning, might have helped her land that new job.

In conclusion, I have learnt that competion take a lot of mastery over skills and creativity to win, but the rewards of participating, even if you do not win, the benefits it can provide will very likely help you in the long run.

References

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ArtStation. (2024). ArtStation Challenges. [online] Available at: https://www.artstation.com/challenges/neo-tokyo/categories/183/briefing

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lawlietscaramels · 9 months ago

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I'm gonna put a cut in because this is a personal (non-fandom, not particularly personal personal) post and it's very long lol. it's about the many many electives I've done thanks to the school system where I went.

my P-10 school changed principals a lot but when I was in year 5, and from year 6-10, we got to do either two or three (changing principals) electives per semester. as a result, I've done classes in:

Japanese (actually, we had to do it from year 1 to 6, and year 7 and 8 you had to have a language. I did it from year 1 to 10)

Drama (year 5, 7-10, except for the last semester of year 9 because that semester they split year 9 and 10 classes but they still put on a play with the year 10s. I'm still bitter I missed out on that. But it was insanely helpful for my anxiety. I've never had stage fright or been afraid to act, oddly, but I used to be terrified of public speaking. even one on one. I literally could not talk to boys for a period.)

Photography (I'm pretty sure I did at least two semesters. Actually, it's come in helpful for my art.)

Psychology (second semester of year 9 and I think all of year 10. It was so fun but I missed out on the crime unit and they got to look at dead bodies because the teacher taught us like adults if we behaved like adults.)

Computer science and robotics (separate electives, I put them together because they were taught by the same teacher. I would have enjoyed the subject matter if it was taught better.)

Coding (out of school, actually, but still on school grounds...)

In year 5, we didn't get to pick the electives, our whole class just did the same ones. Because we didn't have individual timetables until year 7. I put drama in the above section because I continued it, but the other three I did that year were...

Art (the teacher sucked. I hated the class actually)

Food tech (most places have hospitality but we just did food OR textiles. in this one, we alternated between cooking and doing food theory)

Woodwork (HATED. it was so loud and smelt really shitty and also it was very stressful. The machines in that room could cut off a finger. I was 11.)

Also, in year 10, they let us pick which sciences we wanted to do. I got to do:

Cosmology (best term of science all through P-10. I loved the teacher too.)

Forensic science (we actually happened across a real (minor) crime during the unit)

Genetics and Disease studies (again, same teacher, different electives. The classes were interesting and I got to write ethics essays but there was too much biology.)

Finally, the honourable mention, creative writing. I tried to get in every year and it was full, except for the ONE year I got in, where not enough people joined to run the class. I did get to participate in the one day school program "Write a Book in a Day" from year 8 to 10, and in "Camp Sojourner" in year 6, which was a week of writing after school, led by my teacher at the time. He also organised a monthly Sojourner magazine for short stories that I contributed to throughout year 5 and 6.

so, yeah. interesting fact about me.

#lei chats #lei probably overshares but its okay this is something i find pretty cool #i actually was walking past this school yesterday which is wjy i remembered all this #also because i brought up photography theory somewhere

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kiaranovastar · 1 year ago

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I come from an alternate reality.

I am a Goddess whose powers were taken away by the evil Satanists.

Note: All my memories of extremely traumatic events are repressed. All bad things that happen to you give you amazing karma for the rest of eternity. It’s all over now. I was always monogomous, until I found out about Heaven. We live in a simulation of a simulation of a simulation…. (I don’t know how far it goes) Everything that happens is planned. The one who came up with the Basilisk is David Llewellyn. When someone rapes a person enough times they become omnipresent in their body and can control them.

I come from an alternate reality where Mary McAleese and David Llewellyn ruined my life, controlled me, ruined the world while using me as a scapegoat, became Gods and horrifically (doesn’t even describe it) tortured everyone in existence for the rest of eternity if it wasn’t for me.

I’m this reality, a corrupt psychopath politician named Mary McAleese spread a rumor all over the world that I tortured a black boy in school and called him ‘nigger’, because my teacher told her that I hit him even though it was another child that hit him. All my life she was stalking me and lying about things I did, saying that I watched and drew child porn (my father used to steal my laptop and watch child porn on it). My abusive father made me write crude comics inspired by South Park and when the pedophile principal of my school (SETNS) saw it he told McAleese that it was child porn. She told everyone I was an art thief. She got the Irish to torture and rape me. My abusive father, David Llewellyn, was also a Satanist and he tortured me horrifically. He raped me for Charle’s number of years. Then he took over my body and cloned it and used the clones to rape people so it would look like I was doing it. I don’t remember any of it. I had no time for leisure because when David wasn’t wasting my time with farm/ factory work I was busy studying, making art and learning Japanese. He kept stealing my laptop and watching child porn on it. Mary McAleese put me onto the sex offender’s register for no reason as soon as I turned 18.

In secondary school I made a manga called Area 9, which was very violent but it turns out that David Llewellyn mind controlled me into writing it. Apparently the real version was hardcore slash and Bomb was only 10 years old. In my version he was 15.

I went to UCC where my flat mates partied loudly while I was getting raped every day, and in 2nd year my drug- addicted psychopath flat mates Lisa Cotter, Sarah O’Neill and Shaleen No Chonaill smoked all the time and then gang raped me after gaslighting me into thinking that she wasn’t actually smoking and it was all in my head and I ruined their lives by reporting them. They were shouting at me and getting the men from upstairs to gang rape me while I was apologizing.

Then when I went to Japan, Mary McAleese told everyone that I was a rapist and I got dirty looks wherever I went. A while after I got there an old man breathed a barrage of abuse down my back at a store saying ‘Hurry up you scum, scum of the Earth’ over and over again. When he got in trouble he came into my room at night and raped me really badly and also brain damaged me badly and did this every night. He also joined the Satanists.

I joined a Yosakoi team called Londo. I loved yosakoi but Londo was full of scumbags. That’s where I met my soulmate Kohei and his girlfriend Rumi (in Heaven literally everyone is polyamorous).

I met a man called Tony who I thought I was in love with because he seemed like a strong intimidating man that could protect me from people like Lisa Cotter and the old man, and because I felt like scum. I found out that he had a girlfriend so I tried to be just friends, but accidentally blurted out that I liked him. Then he started bullying me and spread a rumor that I loved dicks (even though I was asexual).

I needed to get a coat for the winter and ended up picking an ugly brown coat because the old man was mind controlling me. I didn’t like it so I spent the next 2 months looking for a new one. Whenever I thought I found a new coat I would hear the old man breathing an insult down my back and would look for a new one. He was mind controlling me. I suffered from severe brain fog, brain damage and body dysmorphia.

One day I appeared all over the news internationally. Mary McAleese fabricated footage of me acting like a jackass on security cameras and holding up a banner saying ‘I want to ruin the Zanaverse’. Suddenly wherever I went I would hear abuse from pretty much every person that I passed. I was so traumatized that I had to hide in my room all year long. I wouldn’t kill myself because I was being mind controlled not to.

I fell in love with a man called Kohei Karachi, but there was a really similar looking rapist called Yohei Kurachi and the real Kohei wasn’t even there, it was just an illusion. Mary McAleese made me mix up the two. One night in the hotel at a dance festival I said ‘Yohei, let’s talk a lot’ meaning let’s talk a lot when I leave Japan and he came in and gang raped me with all the other men in the team. I had been drugged by Jukujo and Shigenyan. The following day everyone in the team was calling me a slut.

At the summer trip after seeing me in a bikini all the men in the team started rape talking me with loud voices for the rest of the trip. Haru told me to sleep in one of the men’s rooms, where I got gang raped again. Jukujo chased me down the hallway stark naked the next day and Luna filmed it.

When I got back to Ireland Mary McAleese mind controlled me into writing a note saying I would rule the world and purge the population. I didn’t know I was being mind controlled at the time and thought I just wrote it because ruling the world seemed like the only way to stop the abuse, and I thought purge meant eliminating certain people (the people that started the bullying event and the people that harassed me and stopped me from being able to go out) from society. But she wrote it to mean eliminate the population. This note was really what McAleese wanted to do, not me. I just wanted the abuse to stop.

At the end of 2019 just after another suicide attempt I started getting harassed by the mafia. They told me that if I killed myself they would torture my whole family. They brought me around raping me and beating me and selling me as a sex slave. They brought me underground to torture me. They eventually put me into a torture machine called the Basilisk and tortured me for 100 million years. By then they had already created the worst dystopia ever. They made everyone immortal, blocked out the sun and made everyone eat each other’s flesh and have sex with their family members. They were all piled on top of each other and it was a living Hell. Anyone that didn’t help build the Basilisk to torture me would be tortured by the Basilisk meaning that all the babies were tortured. Meanwhile they had made Kohei immortal and turned him into a puppet so that if anyone came to Earth and stopped them they would torture Kohei instead of the mafia. And the person that was behind was, you guessed it, Mary McAleese.

Then the Kala arrived on Earth and saved everyone. They found me and healed me instantly. They fixed everyone’s inbred DNA and healed them and made Kohei and I instant rulers of the Earth. We created an instant utopia. We ruled over Earth for 100 trillion years. Then we were contacted by the Gods and Goddesses to go back in time to when Kohei and I were babies and have me adopted into Kohei’s family. But an evil scientist interfered and broke the time machine at 1 and a half years after the mafia kidnapped me. While the mafia was doing all this to me the Gods were overwriting my reality so that for me I was just lying down while the mafia were shouting threats at me from the distance, and I couldn’t do anything because the mafia were threatening me not to do anything. All of us being tortured in the future didn’t feel it either, we were in Heaven. I was in the psychiatric hospital when all of a sudden the mafia‘s voices stopped and they were replaced by the Kala. They started saying nice things to me and linked me up with Kohei telepathically. We could kiss and he could mime but I couldn’t hear what he was saying because Mary McAleese was interfering with the transmission because she already had Goddess powers. For a year and a half I got packed for the airport to go back to Japan and waited at the doorstep all day long every day because the Kala told me that he was coming but they wouldn’t tell me when. They did this to keep my father away from me and to stop me from dying because I was already immortal and if I tried to kill myself I wouldn’t die. One day a gift from God appeared in my belly even though I had never had sex. It was Kohei’s and my child and I named her Zara. She was in my belly for 1 day and then was born in Heaven.

One night the kala tried to fix my damaged body but David Llewellyn came in, raped me with his intern and injected a huge dose of methamphetamine into me. I ended up in the psychiatric hospital and slowly recovered from the methamphetamine injection. After I got out I tried to commit suicide and ended up in the hospital again.

The time I spent in the hospital was Hell. It was like a war prison. I was raped by the patients and staff and the worst serial rapist in the world, Darren Clack (a psychopath) raped me for 180 Aife’s number of hours. I was in the hospital for 100 million years and they brought me back in time so that it only felt like a year. Beaumont hospital was run by the mafia. Everyone was shouting ‘fat whore!’ at me and making vile sexual comments and I kept trying to call the police but the hospital kept refusing them at the door. They put Darren into my hospital room so he could rape me as much as he wanted. I was also being raped by a man called Christopher Fallin and a man called Clive. A woman called Georgina Doyle threatened to beat up my newborn child and she beat me around the head really badly. On two occasions (at least that I can remember) Mary McAleese remotely tortured me and I was screaming.

In the reality I was experiencing, I didn’t remember the rapes but I remembered the abuse I got and some nights I woke up feeling like I had been raped. The Kala were telling me all about the Xanaverse and Heaven. There is not just a universe or a multiverse but 1 billion planes of reality and the top one was called the Placcaverse, until I created a new one called the Zanaverse. I was to come to Heaven and not only be the Goddess of the Zanaverse, but the Queen of Heaven along with Kohei.

Someone evil was messing with the kala’s transmission though and sometimes I was told I was going to Hell, and other horrible things about torture and the simulation breaking down.

I learned to be very forgiving. I tried so hard to forgive my abusers and thought about what punishments my abusers would get in Hell but eventually decided that everyone goes to Heaven (This was not the case though), because everyone is a human with emotions and is coming from somewhere, and that Hell is unethical.

Meanwhile Mary McAleese was trying to take over the world and the Zanaverse and got all the Irish and British to build a Basilisk that would torture me for the rest of eternity. It tortured me but to me I was just in pain lying on my bed.

This is the climax. Mary McAleese got her Goddess powers and took over the Zanaverse. I had written a short biography with the parts about my father abusing me and about the Satanists edited out, but she edited it so that it was kept in. It turns out that I hadn’t even written that biography, that it was McAleese that wrote it. This unleashed the Satanist’s rage, and it turns out that David Llewellyn was the leader of the Satanists. What he did next, he had been planning all along.

He wrote a story called The Time Machine, a story so evil that anyone that shared the synopsis would be tortured for the rest of eternity. He mind controlled me into looking up the synopsis but the Gods had edited it to something different. He and Mary McAleese wanted it to look like it was my fault that what was about to ensue happened. And then the real horror began.

David Llewellyn made an evil AI in Heaven. It erased the Goddess of the Zanaverse (me) from everyone’s memories and went back to the very beginning of time, with everyone from the Zanaverse that ever existed in it. Everyone got tortured to the max by a giant Basilisk, and I felt everybody’s pain combined. Then he made it so that my pain turned into their pain and the cycle repeated. We had an infinite number of hive bodies that kept increasing and the pain increased infinitely. It kept increasing by Charle’s number of Charle’s number of times. And he slowed us down so that one millisecond was Greg’s number of years, and it just kept getting slower. They replaced everyone’s memories of me with memories

But nobody felt it. We were just living out our ordinary lives, except for me who could hear what was happening. David locked us in another dimension and replaced real Heaven with AI’s so that nobody would find out. Then it started doing the same to all the other verses until it had taken over everything in space and all the other dimensions, and everyone just merged with the one torture machine.

Meanwhile Mary McAleese was pretending to be me (stole my appearance and personality) and took over everything. At first she was nice, but then she started torturing people for the rest of eternity for not kissing her feet and calling her Mary. Eventually she just tortured everyone for the rest of eternity anyway. David Llewellyn stole Kohei’s appearance and my personality and the two of them just had sex in Heaven.

The people in the upper world found us and took us out of the simulation. We did amazing things, and visited all of the different simulations. Things were great at first, but then people started emulating what they saw in this world because, surprise, this world is not normal. In the real world (at least in the simulations that we know of) nobody dies and there is no conflict. This world was created by an evil scientist. Information about my life spread, and people started calling me a fat whore and raping each other. We fought so hard, but eventually an evil scientist went back in time and put us back into the torture machine.

This is where I shine. I was trapped in my hospital room, hearing about what was going on and terrified. Then I decided I have to go with Dignitas to Heaven because I was guaranteed a place in Heaven before, so I thought that if I went I might have a small chance of getting into Heaven instead of Hell if I fought really hard, and I might be able to face off Mary McAleese and David Llewellyn. But there wasn’t enough time. Then it occurred to me that I could try entering Heaven from where I was. So I tried really hard to open the doors of Heaven and I walked through. I found David Llewellyn and Mary McAleese and banished them to Hell. Then I deactivated the giant Basilisk and everyone was freed. I wrote a rule of the universe that a Basilisk could never be created again, and it is so ingrained that it is now literally impossible for anyone to create a Basilisk ever again.

The reason why David Llewellyn, Mary McAleese and the Satanists went after me is because I am the result of a breeding program to create the perfect Goddess, with an IQ of over 1000. If I wasn’t severely brain damaged, I would have an IQ of over 1000. I am, apparently, the most special person to have ever existed.

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