#we don't all tell the same types of jokes either but it's like a very cooperative chemistry. everyone has a role

[httpiastri]

drivers as the type of boyfriends to…

f1 masterlist || f2/f3 masterlist || blurb masterlist

a/n: to celebrate f2 race week <333 guys we made it! we survived 284947 weeks without f2!!! hope you enjoy 💓

…wash your hair for you

you're either tired from a bunch of long days at work, or you've been sick for a while now, and you just cannot find the energy to properly wash your hair. don't you worry – your perfect boyfriend is here to save the day! telling you to just sit back against the tub, lean your head against the edge and relax, and he'll do the rest. you still have to instruct him about which products to use, but he listens carefully and makes sure to do everything exactly as you say. except for the fact that he adds some extra scalp massages, since he's very aware of how much you love it when he plays with your hair.

paul aron, marcus armstrong, clement novalak

…help you with your makeup and skincare after a night out

it's been a long night at some motorsports gala, and although he had a lovely time and loves these kinds of events, there's nothing he'd rather do than just jump into bed and cuddle his dearest. especially when you clearly feel the same way, having fallen asleep on his shoulder in the taxi on the way to his apartment. but after carrying you inside and placing you down gently on the bed, he realizes – you've still got your makeup on. he knows how important it is for you to be careful about your skincare, how much you complain about breakouts and such if you don't remove your makeup before bed, so he knows he has to help you. he knows how to use the makeup wipes, and he rubs your skin so gently as to not wake you up, but for the rest of the products… he kind of has to freestyle. some cleansing toner, some kind of serum; he really tries to rack his brain to remember everything you've told him – but he's a little too drunk to do it perfectly. however, it's the thought and effort that matters.

pepe marti, jak crawford, arthur leclerc, alex albon

…learn every little detail about you

he may seem carefree or like he's too chill to care, but in reality, there's no one as attentive as him. he knows precisely what you need for every day of your period; when you need a heating pad, when you need chocolate and ice cream, when you need extra cuddles and caring, when you need the chores taken care of, etc. he knows how you want to be treated after a long day at work/school, he knows your schedule inside and out, and he knows what you want for your birthday or christmas way before you realize it yourself (he figures it out because he knows you so well). he knows your twenty coffee orders – the morning coffee, the pre-work order, the friday special, and so on – and he knows how happy it makes you when he orders coffee for you in surprise, so he never forgets to do just that. he knows how to soothe your worries, ease your anxiety, calm you down. and he knows exactly how to make you the happiest you've ever been – and that's his goal for every day he spends on this planet.

oscar piastri, jack doohan, dennis hauger

…fall so easily for your jokes and pranks (only because he cares so much about you)

this boy is the most gullible person ever; he falls for everything you try to pull on him. try to joke that you're upset that he spends a lot of time with a female coworker? he won't leave your side for the next week, always holding you close and pressing kisses to your cheek whenever she's around so you know who it is he loves. pretend like you're sick so he'll cancel his plans with his friends? he will stay home, cook you his mom's special soup, buy you all of the sweets in the world, and then stick by your side for the rest of the night. pretend like you forgot his birthday and ignore him on it so you can throw him a surprise party with all of his friends and family? he gets heartbroken, thinks he's done something terrible and just wants to make up with you (and forgets about his own birthday, just wanting to reconcile with you). he will do anything you trick him into, and will react like everything is a huge deal, just because he loves you too much (and thinks you would never lie to him – "they love me too much to trick me", he assumes).

lando norris, franco colapinto, luke browning

…learn everything about your hair so he can help out

no matter your hair type, he's learning everything there is to know about it. if it's naturally straight, he learns how to make heatless curls so you don't have to hurt your neck doing them on yourself. if it's more wavy, he knows how to bring out the natural waves in them and how to make it look extra good – or tone down the waves if that's what you want. and if it's curly, he knows just what products you should use and when, and he doesn't mind even the slightest when you ask him to help out. he learns to brain your hair, dye it, style it; you often find him watching youtube tutorials on how to do certain things, or he comes out of nowhere to give you tips on things he just happened to read online. all just to make you feel comfortable and bring a little weight off your shoulders, because he understands how exhausting it can be for you to have to tend to your hair every single day.

jak crawford, ollie bearman, liam lawson

...encourage all your passions and obsessions

every one of your obscure hobbies and hyperfixations, he too automatically loves too. doesn't matter if it's about collecting vinyl records, crocheting little animals, cosplaying – he's all in. he helps you look for supplies, listens when you ramble, and just helps out in any way he can (or you'll let him). it gets to a point where he too gets really interested in it, no matter what it's about. when he sees a certain thing connected to your passion at the paddock or when out with friends, he instantly stops and gets so happy – before he realizes that it's your obsession, not his. he can't help but to squeal a little on the inside nonetheless.

franco colapinto, marcus armstrong

...be the best listener ever

this guy loves to listen – especially if you're the one who's talking. it doesn't matter what time it is, how tired he is, or what it's about; he's all ears. if you're upset, whether a frustrating situation at work/school, a deep existential crisis or a nonsensical tangent about a fictional character, he will be there to listen. he sits next to you on the couch, makes you some tea, cuddles up real close under a blanket and listens with genuine interest. not only is he a great listener, but he also gives real good advice if that's what you need. but if you just need to vent, he's the perfect place, too.

pepe marti, oscar piastri

…dance with you in the living room for no reason at all

he may not be much of a dancer, but when a song he loves (or he knows you love) comes on, he grabs your hand without a second thought. it doesn't matter if he's clumsy, if he can't find the rhythm or if you were both busy with something prior to this – his only goal is to make you laugh and feel loved. goofy routines to some up-tempo pop hit, or a slow sway to a romantic ballad; the living room floor is your very own dance floor. and even if you don't particularly enjoy dancing by yourself, you will learn to love it with him, since every spin and twirl is a way for him to communicate just how much he adores you.

clement novalak, daniel ricciardo, charles leclerc

...turn everything into a competition

brushing your teeth? he will need to find out who can finish faster. cooking dinner? he must chop the vegetables quicker and more perfectly than you. folding laundry? he'll be done first (but probably mess it up a bit). (texting each other when he's away racing? he must be the last one to say goodnight every night, and he insists that he loves you more than you love him, that's just the way it is.) it isn't only to make the mundane tasks more fun – it's also because he really wants to see you laugh, to see your eyes light up with joy at the way he makes a fool of himself while trying to take a super quick shower. he definitely lets you win sometimes, but only to see how happy you look (even though he adores the pout you put on when you lose).

paul aron, arthur leclerc, lando norris

…want to be a part of your family so badly

oh, there's nothing he wants more than to be loved and accepted by your family. it's his biggest wish. he wants to be like an older brother to your younger siblings, always playing around with them during the day but also making sure to be the responsible one and help out at night, tucking them in and reading them bedtime stories. with your parents, he does his best to always be completely respectful and proper – though he does find it a bit of a relief when he finally reaches that stage when he and them get comfortable and close. he adores the way your aunts and uncles treat him just like anyone else at family parties, and he's obsessed with the sound of your grandparents telling him what a "sweet and perfect young gentleman" he is. all of this just because he believes that if he one day is going to start a family with you, he needs to first be a part of the one you already have.

jack doohan, ollie bearman, luke browning

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : FWB!Yang Jeongin x F!Reader TW : Jeongin is an extreme asshole in this ; reader is pregnant ; lots of arguing ; one of those super cool fast forward moments so I don't keep reusing the same plot ; Jeongin sort of redemption ark but it came too late ; Word Count : 2.9k Request : no, but he's the last one! A/N : The last angsty dad in the series!!! Gonna miss writing these! Also, this one is definitely getting a part 2 which will have MORE angst but a happy ending.

“That was a nice prank you pulled, bud. Had the whole group laughing.” Jeongin muttered into his phone as he walked down the halls of the JYP building. “It’s not funny to fuck around like that though. Especially not at my job. I know that you don’t really give a shit though because your job isn’t as important as mine and something like this won’t fuck up your entire life, but… Ya know, can’t really have a scandal like that going around even if it is a joke.” 

“You done yet?” You asked, trying to hide your agitation at the belittling of your job and pretty much everything that you do, doing your best to hold it together just long enough to tell him that it wasn’t a prank, that it wasn’t some joke. “I haven’t seen you in 2 weeks, and I honestly couldn’t care less about seeing you… But I needed to let you know, and you suck at answering your phone. I’m pregnant, Jeongin.” 

If this was a scripted television show, they probably would have added in the sound of a record scratching just to emphasize the way Jeongin stopped dead center of the hallway, his eyes going wide and his heart feeling like it had frozen. “No the fuck you’re not. That shit isn’t mine if you are though.” You knew that this was exactly how it would go down, you weren’t the slightest bit shocked at the disregard and downright arrogant behavior he was exhibiting right now. “I mean, you obviously sleep around, it could be anyone’s kid. Not my problem. Don’t try to stick me with that shit.” 

“It is yours. If you want to do a paternity test, fine, but I honestly don’t give a damn if you’re around anyway.” You retorted, and you heard him scoff loudly as if he didn’t believe you. “It’s not like you’d be a good father. You’re never around. We weren’t even dating.” You continued, and you could tell that he was getting pissed off by your comments, the way his tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth and he very loudly ran his hand through his hair. “I just wanted you to know that you will have a child in the world, although I’m sure this one isn’t the only one considering your track record.” 

“Have you always been this big of a bitch or is it the hormones?” He snapped, and you suppressed the chuckle that threatened to escape your pursed lips. “And I’ll have you know, I’d be a great fucking dad. I’d be there for him or her whenever they needed me. And don’t try to be a cunt and keep my kid from me either. I know you’re that type of person.” 

“Aww, baby bread sounds a little upset.” You mocked him, and you could tell he was seething, harsh breaths shooting through clenched teeth whistled through the speaker of your phone. “I thought you didn’t want to be stuck with this shit? Sounds like someone changed their mind.” 

“Fuck you. Set up the paternity test and let me know when it is. If that kid ain’t mine though… I’m fucking done with you.” Jeongin hissed, and before you could sarcastically comment back, he had hung up the phone. 

There was no doubt that the child was Jeongins though. You were quite loyal to your beneficial relationship, and while the agreement was that neither of you would catch feelings, it was kind of hard to not catch feelings. Jeongin was the biggest sweetheart behind closed doors when it was just the two of you together. Sometimes he made it feel like you were dating, but that bubble burst just as fast when he’d leave without a kiss goodbye. He didn’t have any feelings for you. You were simply there for his satisfaction and that was all. 

///

“I told you that you were the father.” You mumbled as the test results were handed to both you and Jeongin on separate papers. You didn’t need to stay in the doctor's office any longer though, you had gotten the answers that Jeongin wanted, and now you could leave. “Do with that information what you want, but I was serious when I said I didn’t need you. You don’t have to prove anything to me, and you don’t have to prove anything to the baby.” Was supposed to be the final remark as you got up and started to head out, but Jeongin was quick to follow after you. 

“You might think that I’m an asshole…” Jeongin began and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, walking faster now to try to get away from him, but it was easy for him to keep up. “Just because I don’t want to be with you doesn’t mean that I don’t want anything to do with my kid. It’s my responsibility and my right to be a part of my kid’s life. You don’t get to decide whether I can or can’t be there.” 

“Thank you, Jeongin, for that… sweet sentiment. Make sure you tell all the reporters about what a nice guy you are so that all the fans will love you more.” You spat the words at him as you, quite aggressively, pushed open the door of the office. “I’ll keep you updated. Thank you for coming out today.” You started to walk towards the bus stop, but Jeongins hand wrapped around your elbow and tugged you back towards him. “The fuck are you doing?” 

“You’re carrying my child. You’re not riding the bus.” Jeongin said it as if it should have been obvious as he walked you towards the car that he had rode in. “Get in. And let me know when all of your appointments are so that I can have someone come pick you up and take you back home.” There wasn’t any emotion when he said it, it was all very bland, as if you should have known better than to take your usual way of transportation. 

“This is ridiculous…” You mumbled as you climbed into the backseat, but deep down, you were grateful that you didn’t have to hunt for a seat on the bus like usual. You’d be able to sit comfortably, at least for the next 8 to 9 months. “I still have to take the bus to work so I can afford my appointments and everything that I need.” 

“That job isn’t safe for you in your condition.” Jeongin said, still void of emotion. “I’m going to take care of my child, and my child is currently residing in you, therefore I’m going to take care of you as well. Again, you might think that I’m an asshole, but I’m not going to let you strain yourself and potentially lose the baby. I know it would hurt you, and whether you believe me or not, I’d be upset as well.” 

Although there wasn’t a hint of kindness in his tone, the words alone were enough to show that he did care. It was hard to hate him and be mad at him when acting like this, but you knew that it wasn’t because he cared about you, it was because he cared about the baby… And truthfully, that’s all you could really ask for. “Thank you…” 

///

“Why didn’t you call me first?” Jeongin asked, having spent the better half of his morning pacing the practice room, screwing up his dances, unable to focus at all due to the fact that you didn’t contact him like you usually would. Now that he finally had a break, he was able to call you, which shouldn’t even be a thing considering you didn’t have to work anymore and he was taking care of everything. The least you could do was keep up with the scheduled calls. 

“Because I woke up this morning and things just felt a little… weird… ya know…” You sarcastically stated back, and he hated the fact that you couldn’t just be clear with him. Everything had to have just the tiniest hint of sarcasm in it. You were 8 and a half months pregnant and his worries for the baby were through the roof. He didn’t know when you’d go into labor, he didn’t know anything, and of course, you just had to be a smartass. “So I’m in the hospital-” 

“Hold up! You’re what?!” Jeongin screeched, not even waiting to hear the reasoning behind your sudden trip, he just wanted to get to where you were as soon as humanly possible to make sure his baby is okay. “I told you to stop trying to clean the damn house by yourself. That’s what I hired the maids for. I hired literally everyone that I could to make this easier on you, yet you still act like a fucking idiot. What’s wrong with the baby? Is she okay?” 

“Don’t be a dick.” You huffed, and Jeongin could faintly hear the sound of a machine beeping during the short moment of silence. “Sorry that she doesn’t work around your schedule, but your daughter decided that she wanted to come out today. So, if you feel so inclined to do so, you can come see her be born. I’m not sure how much time you have, I’m already like… I think they said 5 centimeters dilated so… better haul ass.” 

And that he was. He never thought in a million years that he’d be skipping out on practice without even saying anything to one of the guys to watch his beneficial friend give birth to the daughter that he was already devoted entirely to. It was crazy how just the prospect of being a parent made him want to be a better version of himself. “Well tell the doctors to shove a cork in there or something, at least until I make it to the hospital. I’m not missing it.” 

“Will do, buckaroo.” He could just hear the eye roll that came along with it, but then he heard the sound of your pained, labored breathing, and the beeping of the machine sped up momentarily before going back to a steady rhythm. “Just hurry the hell up, I don’t think she’s waiting for anyone. She wants out.” 

///

Raising a child was hard, being an idol and a father at the same time was hard, but coparenting with the girl that you had managed to catch legitimate feelings for over the last 6 years was even harder. How could he not fall in love with you though? Watching you with his daughter was the most strangely attractive thing he’s ever witnessed, and he regretted not asking you to just be his officially when he first found out you were pregnant. That would have saved him from the feeling of jealousy and anger that he felt when you started going out on dates. 

“I don’t know why you’re wasting so much time on these low grade losers. You could do so much better.” Jeongin called to you from the living room as he sat at the makeshift table where he was currently being served Cheetos and a Caprisun by his daughter. “None of them are good enough to even get close to my baby anyway. I feel like I should have a say in who you potentially start bringing home around her, shouldn’t I?” 

You peaked your head out from around the bedroom door and he swears, he’s never seen you look more beautiful. He hated whatever guy was lucky enough to be going out with you right now. “Coming from the biggest eff word boy in the industry… I think that’s quite hypocritical of you.” You teased, sending him the most gorgeous, heart stopping smile, even though he knew it was supposed to irritate him, it only made his stomach fill with butterflies. 

“I’ve changed my ways. The only two beautiful girls I want to spend my days with are Jeongsoo and you.” He leaned back on his hands so he could try to see through the bedroom door where you were getting ready, hoping to see some kind of reaction, even just a smile at his flirtatious attempt. Sadly, Jeongsoo wasn’t too keen on the idea of not being the center of her fathers attention, so she walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder, his gaze quickly turning to look at her sassy, cross armed stance, trying hard not to laugh. 

“Dad. You are gonna go to tea party time out if you do not play right. Do you want to go to tea party time out with Mr. Oink?” She pointed her little finger into the corner of the room where her stuffed pig was sitting staring at the corner and Jeongin quickly shook his head no. “Good. No time out for you.” She nodded her head before going back to her play kitchen. She was almost a carbon copy of you, at least in the attitude department, but he absolutely adored her and he couldn’t imagine a world where she wasn’t sassily living in it. 

“Are you sure you don’t mind babysitting her? I know you’d rather be out with the guys right now.” You said as you came out of the bedroom, the little dress that you were wearing hugged all of your curves, and while Jeongin didn’t know anything about the guy that you were going out on a date with tonight, he hated everything about him. “I’ll pay you back tonight for watching her.” 

He rolled his eyes, wanting nothing more than to get up off the floor and go over to you and grab you by the waist and kiss you, but the thought of being in tea party time out was keeping him from doing so, especially since Mr. Oink had been staring at the corner for a good hour and a half now. “You don’t have to pay me for spending time with my daughter. It’s not even considered babysitting. I think you’re forgetting that she’s literally half me.” He commented, hoping that maybe pointing out the fact that the daughter that you both loved so much was the most perfect blend of the two of you would have you second guessing going on that date. 

“Well I’ll still pay you. I think the girls you hook up with at least deserve a good dinner before they find out they’re just your friend.” You teased, but he knew that was also a jab at the way he had gotten with you. He had only taken you to McDonalds once before taking you to his bedroom, and for that, he feels like shit because you did deserve better, you still do. “He’s here. I’ll be back in an hour or two…” You said, and he absolutely despised how giddy you looked to go out and meet this stranger who was most definitely not good enough for you. 

You ran over to where your daughter was still working at her play kitchen, ruffling her hair and then bending over to press a kiss to the top of her head before telling her you love her. “Call me if he does anything weird. I’ll have a guy from security pick you up. Just let me know where you are.” Jeongin said as you headed towards the door, and while you always thought that it was simply because he didn’t want anything happening to the mother of his child, it was because he didn’t want anything to happen to you. He loved you, and every single time you walked out that door to meet someone new, he was one step closer to never being with you at all. 

The door closed behind you and he let out a heavy sigh, running his hand through his hair before taking a sip of his juice box and falling flat onto the floor. “Daaad!” Jeongsoo whined when she heard his head land against the hardwood floor. “You getting sleepy? You didn’ even finish your cheetos.” She huffed softly, the sound almost like a recording of your own voice. “Whatchu wanna do now?” She asked, and Jeongin pushed himself up off the floor, scooping her up into his arms in the process. 

“Let’s watch a movie. Get Mr. Oink out of time out real quick though, I think he feels a little sad.” Jeongsoos mouth popped open in shock as she ran over to retrieve her forgotten stuffed animal before returning to the couch and sitting next to Jeongin. “We’ll watch a movie and eat some ice cream, and then it’s time for bed, okie dokie?” She nodded her head in agreement as Jeongin flipped through the movies on the tv. 

It was a good night, he tried to remind himself of that as his daughter peacefully slept curled up against him. The movie was turned down almost completely, the only sound filling the silence was Jeongsoos soft snores. He waited for the text from you, telling him to send someone to pick you up and bring you back home to him and your little family, but it never came. He didn’t want to go out with the guys tonight, he didn’t want to meet anyone else… All he wanted was you. How perfect the night could have been if you had been here, sitting opposite of Jeongsoo, his arm draped over the back of the couch to gently run his fingers through your hair as you both focused on the movie in front of you. That would never happen though. He was too scared to ask you now, and surely there would be someone else out there that you thought was more deserving of your love than he was… And maybe you would be right… He had let you go, and now he had to sit back and pretend that it didn’t break his heart each time he’d watch you leave. 

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[n-s4kayaky]

𝔹𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕪 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤! (ℕ𝕊𝔽𝕎 + 𝕊𝔽𝕎)

warnings: Mentions of female reader, not safe for under 18! (The Buggy that I am going to use for these headcanons can be either from LA or Anime.)

a/n:  I love making headcanons about characters I love, so here are a few ideas about Buggy!

Soooo I think we all think the same thing, which is that this man's body hair is the same color as his head hair. I think he takes good care of it, meaning he trims it and doesn't let it get too wild. I see that he has some hair on his chest, forearms, and what I like the most, the happy trail ;)

Speaking of hair, Buggy takes VERY good care of his long blue hair. I'm sure this man has a private shower full of all kinds of shampoos, conditioners, hair nutrition, etc. Besides taking care of it, he LOVES to have it combed, especially if it's by you. I can imagine him asking you to comb his hair after a hard day of work where his crew has pushed him to his limits. He'll sit on the bed with his back to you and let his hair down so you can comb it. He'll LITERALLY melt under your hands as you brush his long and silky hair, and don't even get me started if you massage his scalp.

I think that Buggy HAS to have some tattoo, such as a skull with clown details. The most likely place I see the tattoo is on his back or biceps

OH MY GOD, THIS MAN HAS A DAD BOD AND NO ONE CAN ARGUE WITH ME. He has muscular and well-worked biceps but also has a cute dad bod. Why does he have it? Easy, I explain it below

Well, Buggy surely celebrates ABSOLUTELY everything, I mean, any little thing is celebrated with food and drink. Did they rob a village? It's celebrated that same night. Did a show go well? It's celebrated that same night. He loves to eat and drink, I see it in him, especially if there's some celebration involved.

Continuing with the hair topic and the fact that he likes you to comb his hair, it adds that he loves you to do different hairstyles. Would you like to make him a ponytail? "Go ahead, darling!" A braid maybe? "All yours, sweet cheeks." How about curling his hair? "I love it, doll!"

I feel that once Buggy falls in love with you, he becomes COMPLETELY obsessed, I'm not kidding. Buggy will be with you most of the day, or rather take you anywhere so that he can be with you. Due to his insecurities about his nose, he is VERY jealous. I can perfectly see him appearing behind you in a few seconds, putting his hands on your waist and kissing your neck while looking challengingly at the other man. Buggy has arrived and is marking his territory, which is you.

Buggy is the type of partner who ADORES you, I literally think he will treat you as if you were a goddess or some kind of deity to him, and let's not talk about how he would react if you adored him just like he does to you.

Obviously, this man will make thousands and thousands of sexual jokes in any situation, no matter what is happening. He can tell you while eating, while alone in his office, or while you are helping with an essay for his show. He loves to see how nervous you get with his words

Buggy is someone who likes to give nicknames, especially to you if you have a romantic relationship with him. Even before it's officially something, he probably gave you affectionate nicknames like "Honey," "Doll," "Dear," "Sweet Cheeks," etc. I don't know if I'm correct, I just read this, but supposedly each OP character has a nationality assigned by Oda, and if I'm correct, Buggy is French. Soooo, it's possible that he will call you some affectionate nickname in French, something like "Mon chéri," "Ma chérie," "Mon coeur" (Sorry to French speakers if any of this is mistranslated). He will probably also tell you in great detail in French how he's going to fuck and destroy you, but just laugh when you see your confused face because you don't understand.

He loves cuddles, he loves being in your arms and feeling your beautiful hands give him love and cuddles on his face, hair, and body. He sleeps snuggled up next to you, and every chance he gets, he hugs you and presses you against his body to feel its warmth. He simply adores you and adores every part of you with all his soul

I am sure that he spoils you in more than one way. If you are part of the shows, you will be the first to receive words of affirmation from him. He won't stop telling you how incredible you were, how good you were, and that you are undoubtedly the star of the show (behind him, clearly). While he showers you with affection, he won't stop yelling at and scolding others who have been in the show for the slightest mistake. Apart from that, he will give you anything valuable or expensive, from jewelry, clothing, costumes for the shows, shoes, lingerie, to makeup and anything else that comes to mind or you ask for. He is a captain and you are his little and beautiful partner, obviously he has to give you everything, no matter how expensive it is, and take care of you.

I see him as VERY protective, and apart from that, thanks to jealousy, he cares a lot about you. He will be attentive at all times. If you feel a little unwell, he will quickly be shouting and grumbling for a doctor to attend to you. If you get hurt, he will pick you up and be glued to you at all times. He won't leave you alone for a second.

I think a lot about how people smell, and from my point of view, I think Buggy would smell like a mixture of ash because of his cannons, saltwater, whiskey or alcohol in general, a touch of wood, and a slight hint of his body musk.

Well, I think that Buggy loves to eat his partner, he loves the idea of your thighs pressed around his head while he has his tongue deeply buried between your wet folds. He will drink from your excitement as if it were the best drink ever created by man, he will always look for an excuse to eat you. If he could, he would simply feed on your excitement and could be eating you for a whole day. More than once he has asked you to sit on his face and you have agreed, but always with that fear of suffocating him, he always responds with "Darling, if I have to die, I would be more than honored and satisfied to die suffocated thanks to your beautiful thighs and with my tongue full of your delicious wetness." Eventually, if you are sitting on his face while he eats you, you will always keep your hips a little afloat to avoid sitting completely, to which Buggy will take your thighs and force you to sit completely.

I think we all know that this man uses his Chop Chop power with you in quite sinful ways, he will easily detach his cock from his body and choke you with it, letting you feel how it fills your throat and how his balls hit your chin while saliva drips from your mouth, staining everything. Your mouth won't be the only thing he fills, he will bury himself deeply in your wet vagina and fuck you while he watches you being fucked with his own cock just a few centimeters away from you. One day he may wake you up by fucking you and when he finishes, he will leave his cock buried in you for the whole day, using it to prevent his precious semen from dripping out of your beautiful pussy.

He releases a lot, but that LOT of cum, he will fill you with a good load and you will feel how he drips all day from inside you (Unless his cock is being used as a plug so that doesn't happen) When he cums in your throat you always have to swallow little by little to avoid choking, and believe me, When you start swallowing you think you're never going to finish

He loves to brand you, he has to proclaim you as his own, so he'll leave hickeys along your neck and collarbone, in plain sight for anyone. Apart from bites and hickeys he loves to spank you, he loves to see your cute red and burning butt, full of marks on the palm of his hand due to his spanking. Obviously, because of his love of eating you, you'll have red thighs thanks to his face paint; but Buggy won't let you clean them, what's more, he'll let you wear a short skirt that day so that everyone can see the marks of his makeup on your cute thighs

I think it's a bit Voyeur, I mean he loves shows, especially if it's about you! I can see him sneaking into the room you're in and every time he catches you masturbating he falls silent as he watches you, feeling his cock harden under his pants at the sight. He will also ask you to voluntarily masturbate in front of him more than once, standing in front of you in a chair while his eyes do not leave your body and his hands separate from him to caress your soft skin

He curses a lot during sex, while he's fucking you hard against any surface near you he'll be whispering all kinds of lustful things like "My little slut… Always pleasing me so well." "I adore this greedy little pussy you have, so tight and always sucking me so hard" "Fuck, you love to please your captain, isn't that my sweet little slut?" "Look how your pussy drips because of me, so adorable..".

During kissing I feel like he's drooling a lot, you always fill each other with saliva during a nice hot make-out session, having your lips moist as well as your chins while half of Buggy's lip makeup has smudged and smudged your whole face

If at any point while he is eating strips of his hair he goes completely wild, he will attack your pussy mercilessly and rip you out of you at least more than 4 orgasms in a row, all in order to get you to pull his hair again

He loves to overstimulate you, loves to see how you turn into a small babbling mass between his hands and how you can't think about anything other than him or his cock. Love to see your thighs trembling and filled with both fluids mixed together, your clever little mouth nothing but meowing and moaning as you spew incoherently and drool

This man has to have at least a slight kink towards the knife set. He will always ask you beforehand if you are okay with it and will put a word of security; But he'll love being able to run the cold steel of his daggers across your soft skin, past your stiff nipples until delicately fiddling with your. It will leave some scratches, not very deep, only small marks, unless you ask it to be harder, in that case it will create small cuts and if it has the opportunity it will make its initial on your soft skin with the help of its dagger

[systemadministratorclu]

Y'all, I just HAD to share this, because holy shit.

A little background first:

I run the drive-thru cash register window at a fast food joint. One of the shittiest jobs there is because some of the rudest/stupidest people on the planet come through the drive-thru, and one must have near superhuman patience to deal with it. That said, there are customers who come regularly and are not hard to deal with at all. And then there are some-very few and far between-that restore your faith in humanity a little every time they come.

This is about one such customer.

This guy comes every day at about the same time with his grandson (6 years old when this started, recently turned 7) and gets the exact same thing every time. To the point where now either I see their car or I hear the guy say his name (whichever happens first) and I'm already ringing them up. Because of this, the kid now thinks I have weirdly specific psychic powers, and has said he prefers coming to the place when I'm there. He's also decided I'm the best employee this place has. The granddad talks to me like I'm a human, they're always smiling and happy to see me (which means a lot in this line of work, let me tell you) and even on my shittiest days, they've managed to make me smile. I genuinely look forward to seeing these people every day.

Recently, grandson was hella excited to tell me he had a birthday coming up. Reminded me every day "my birthday's coming!" as most 6yo kids do.

Maybe I was feeling a little holiday spirit or something, but one day after work, I went to the Dollar Tree near the restaurant. I picked out a kid's birthday card and a Christmas card. I wrote a message in the Christmas one about what I just explained above, thanking them for bringing some joy to my days, because y'know what? People need to hear that shit. Especially in today's world. And I wanted them to know how much this meant to me. I wrote a little joke in the birthday card about not forgetting the day. Then I looked in my wallet, saw I had a $10 and a $1, and stuck the $10 in the birthday card. Addressed the birthday card to the kid and the Christmas one to kid and grandpa. I give the cards to them on their normal drive-thru visit. They are of course surprised (kid starts yelling "thank you" even though he hasn't gotten to open it yet) but thankful. Then the line moves on.

Fast forward to today.

I see the car come in but I don't start ringing the order up, because it's WAY early for them. I give my usual greeting, then I hear a woman's voice, so I think it's someone in the same kind of car. But when she asks "is this Hal?" I then realize it's the kid's mother, whom he has told all about me and who has come through with him before.

I say yes, and she tells me she's not here to order anything, just to see me, since kid and granddad are sick. I tell her to come on to the window, she does, and hands me a card and a nicely wrapped gift. I asked her to tell them hi for me, she said she would and then the line moved.

I got off on lunch break and opened card and gift.

I was not prepared. At all.

This is the gift...

...the card (no writing on the front).....

.....and the typed note inside the card that actually brought tears to my eyes.

......I'm still not over this. I will be thinking about how this went on for OVER HALF A FUCKING YEAR and I had no idea.

This is the kind of stuff that makes this shitty job worth it. People like this....We need more of in this world. I'm going to hold onto that note so when I feel like shit or I don't matter, I can look at it and know there's a kid out there who I am so important to that he got his dad to write a whole-ass letter, to some random stranger he only knows through his son, inviting me to their fucking house. I'm tearing up again as I write this, just thinking about it.

If that doesn't say "you matter", idk what does.

(And yes, I will go at some point, because how can I not? I'm not gonna dash this kid's hopes and make myself look like an enormous asshole. This is the RL version of being handed a toy phone and told it's ringing)

[valiantroeagleangel]

Noah's alphabet

Noah Sebastian x female reader

Following the Bad Omens's alphabet request with Noah, everybody's male whore. This is obviously NSFW.

Mama's tag list: @circle-with-me @somewhere-diamond @malice-ov-mercy @smokeynaomi @darkhallcorner @loeytuan98 @sthnog @cookiesupplier @cncohshit @lma1986 @skulliecadaver-blog

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I feel like sex unlocks a new Noah. Let's face it, we don't like it but Noah surely is emotionally constipated. He won't talk about his feelings or about too many deep things, especially at the beginning of the relationship. But after sex you know, maybe he feels closer to you because of the intimacy but he would open up to you a little. You may have deeper conversations as he holds you in his arms, staring at the ceiling.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

This is a boob man come on. He is more boyish than Jolly you know. When I was telling you that Jolly enjoyed a nice cleavage, yes he does but in a mature way. I feel like Noah is still silly enough to just go "OMG BOOBS YAY!!!"

And on him, I feel like he came to a situation where he is able to enjoy how big his hands are, especially compared to yours. Let's be honest even if you are gigantic the chances of you being taller than him are very low. And he enjoys how big you're making him feel and the hands are the best way to compare.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Will cum in his pants while eating you out.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Same as the Ruffilo's one. They jerked off together once (if not more). They really were too suspicious and I like it, ok?

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Is he experienced? I don't know I don't have the same vibe that I had with Jolly. We all wish he was because it's better for the plot buuuuuut you know... :///

He must be, a little at least but not that much? He tries tho, he tries his best but your first times were maybe like-

"here?"

"no not here noah."

"okay here maybe?"

"still not..."

"uuuggghhh?!"

"alright I'll show you. HERE."

"oooooooh."

And this dude discovered a new world, now he is able to know what he is doing. But he wasn't before.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary with him holding your hands above your head. He is hovering over you, both of your wrists in his hand, pinned over your head and he just slowly thrusts into you, watching your reactions. He likes how it makes him feel in charge.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Ain't no way this dude is cracking jokes during the deed. He is on a mission, he is not going to try and be humorous. I'm not saying that he is taking it like WE ARE HAVING SEX, SEX IS DONE, BACK TO NORMAL PERSONALITY serious kind of type, but he is not goofy either.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Oh he trims it for sure, he is taking care of the carpet. It's not fully trimmed okay but he spends time cutting it for it to be nice and clean.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Back to this dude not dealing with his emotions, he gotta let them out at some point. I'm pretty sure he can be very very intimate. Once again especially at the beginning of your relationship. But yeah that dude is romantic, that dude is worshipping you, he loves you and he tries to let you know it during sex because if he doesn't he is going to burst into flames with all of these emotions he can feel.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I really have issues with this headcanon every time because I always want to say FUCKING YES I LOVE IT QUEEN GO MASTURBATE. But for this one, yeah he does it okay, but not really how I wish he did. Definitely does it in the shower tho. A hand against the tiles and he just whoop whoop the meat.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Submission kink, he likes to see you at his mercy. Not in a violent way but more to know that yes you're drooling and crying on the mattress because of him and that he is the only one who can pleasure you. That you are on your knees for him, and only him. Once he gets to know your body he is going to use it to his advantage.

And I think he has a praise kink, oh fuck me he does. He likes to hear you say how good he is, how good he is making you feel and how you can't deal with the pleasure because of him.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Love the idea of him taking you in the kitchen. Why? I don't know but him taking you on the counter or on the dinner table. Love it. Besides that, bed.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Oh you're walking around the house wearing his t-shirt and his shorts? You're good for one. Noah needs to feel loved I think, to feel like he matters to you, he belongs to you, that you won't abandon him so whenever there is something that makes him feel like that he just gets a little too excited-

Back to how to deal with his feelings. He doesn't know how so -> sex.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Honestly, I know I wrote threesomes with him but let's be real this is not accurate. He won't do threesomes. Once again he wants to feel loved not to feel like you desire someone more than him. And he is not going to fight for your affection in this case. If he feels like you want someone else he will just go "alright she doesn't love me anymore. I've been fucked again." SO NO SHARING, SORRY LADIES.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Oh come on that one is an easy one. We all agreed that Noah was a proud munch, there is no debate anymore. He will eat you slow and nice or either suck the soul out of you, there is no in-between. But when that dude eats? HE EATS. He will eat and make you come until he is satisfied.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

I love the idea of slow and sensual sex. Like slow sex in the morning, you both just wake up and he is just ready to go you know? He'll fuck you nicely and tenderly. Missionary it's him looking at you, very calculated thrust so he can admire how you close your eyes and how you moan.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He does them. First of all because of his tight schedule and maybe yours but also because-

AAHH he is so frustrated and doesn't know how to deal with it? Boom quickie. He just finds you very hot when you're cooking? Boom quickie. Quickie, quickie, quickie.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

That dude won't take too much risk. No public sex, no semi-public sex, no PDA, nothing. He doesn't want ANYONE to stiff his nose in his private life so he won't take risks.

That aside he is not again some experimenting.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

I'm sure he has a great stamina. He has lungs, he's athletic now, pushing to the gym. That dude is doing multiple rounds, maybe with some small breaks in between but he is doing it.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

They went from 😠enemies😠 to 🌈friends🌈 in his eyes. At first, he was not for it, he didn't know how to use it and didn't understand why. He was like "what do you want a toy when you can have me???". But the more you guys grew together, the more you tried things and the more he accepted them and enjoyed them. They didn't replace him so he is happy with it.

And for himself I don't think he really uses them that much.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

That dude is a fucking bitch. I'm sorry but he is teasing you, he is enjoying seeing you ignite yourself because of him. He is truly unfair and it pampers his ego.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

That dude is loud and in a messy way. He moans, he groans, he talks, he lose himself in the deed. He'll keep telling you how good you feels and how tight you are.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Has a thing for mini skirts, panties with ribbons and high socks.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

LONG. Necessarily not massive or heavy but LONG.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

I think his sex drive is really random. It can be a week of random quickies or like more intimate sex multiple times a week. Often it's a mix of both but it depends on the schedule you know.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Either fall asleep immediately or won't be able to sleep because you guys talked for hours and now he is overthinking about why he overshared like that. What if you don't like him in the morning because he said too much? (it won't happen but this dude is a little psychotic.)

[bradshawssugarbaby]

So happy that you got 500 Followers!

For the celebration I'd like to request Jake and 🍧

Pretty please 🙏

Thank you! ofc nonny, one pregnancy prompt + Jake coming right up!

You glared at Jake as he poured himself a coffee, your eyes practically burning a hole through him as you stared stoically. Jake frowned at you, setting his mug down on the counter before holding his arms out in surrender.

"What I do now, Angel?"

"You know exactly what you did, Seresin."

"Ooh, last name, huh?" Jake tapped his chin with his finger for a moment as he thought, looking as though he was trying to piece together whatever event he triggered that upset you. Finally, he frowned and shook his head. "Nope, I've got nothin', Sugar. What did I do?"

"You flirted with another girl last night, in front of me!" You shouted, shaking your head.

Your anger bubbled over when Jake laughed at your accusation, shaking his head in disbelief as he looked at you.

"You're joking, right?" He asked, waiting for you to start laughing. When he realized you were serious, he shook his head and sighed. "I wasn't flirting with anyone, Honey. I wouldn't do that to you."

"Well, you did last night."

"Well then, I didn't mean to! Sometimes people just think I'm flirting with how I talk. I wasn't doing it intentionally or nothin'. Half the time people probably think I'm in love with Rooster or somethin' with the way I talk to him!"

You huffed a sigh and shook your head as you grabbed your car keys off the table. Jake looked at you in surprise, shaking his head quickly as he watched you get ready to leave. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go get some things for my baby's nursery."

"Well, we both made that baby."

"Don't remind me!" you snapped, shaking your head at him, "You may have pitched in but the rest of this group project has been pretty one sided."

"Hey! I try my best, Darlin', it's not my fault I can't grow the kid myself."

"You could be a little more supportive though."

"Supportive?" Jake sputtered and shook his head vehemently, "Hon, I've done nothing but be supportive. All this is because you think I was flirting with some girl at the bar last night?"

"I watched you laughing and talking to her! It's the same way you did with me when we met!"

Suddenly, Jake shook his head and laughed to himself, sighing as he realized exactly what was happening.

"You mean the girl in the Navy fatigues?"

"Yeah, her," you pouted, nodding your head as you looked at him, waiting for an explanation.

"Baby, that girl is a girl I grew up with when I was a kid. She just transferred to North Island. I've known her since I was three."

"Oh, great, so she knows you better than I do too. Why don't you and her just go run away together or something?" You responded sarcastically, refusing to admit you might be going overboard.

"Well, her wife might not appreciate that. Don't think mine would either."

"Her what?

"I'm uh, not her type, Sugar. You'd have better luck getting her to come home with you than I would. In fact, she was telling me how pretty my wife was, and I thanked her, and told her that my wife is beautiful, and I'm very lucky."

"You did? Really?"

"Mhmm." Jake nodded and laughed as he shook his head, "The laughing you saw? Her telling me she was surprised I found someone tolerant enough to marry my dumbass."

You laughed awkwardly at the misunderstanding, nodding slowly as you realized your hormones may have clouded your judgement a little. Jake wrapped his arms around you gently, holding you close as he rested one of his hands on your baby bump. He leaned down to kiss your nose and smiled.

"You're the only girl for me, you know that. You and my little cowgirl in there."

"I told you, it might be a boy," you started before Jake shook his head and grinned, tapping the side of his head.

"Nah, I'm telling you. I've got a fifth sense for this sorta thing. It's a girl."

"You mean sixth sense, right?"

"Whatever," he said, waving his hand dismissively with a grin, "Point is, I'm almost positive we're having a girl. Now, am I forgiven? Or do I have to get all mushy and shit and start gushing about how much I love you, should I call Rooster up and find out the name of that florist he uses whenever he's in the doghouse and order you the biggest bouquet I can get?"

"You're forgiven. I'm sorry," you nodded slowly before your lips curled up into a grin. "But I'll gladly take flowers and you gushing over how much you love me."

"Anything for my girls."

join in my 500 follower celebration here!

[cyborgartalchemist2]

Imagine being so fucking aggressive about a ship you make jokes about Magneto and that very groomer scene from X-Men 97 that just... excuse the behavior? Because that doesn't sound very progressive in my opinion. Like yeah... rape culture in relationships just permeats fucking shipping but lets do nothing to argue against it. Lets make jokes that perpetuate the behavior and excuse men taking advantage of women.

To me having Magneto take advantage of a much younger mutant under his tutelage because she's desperate for physical connection and he's the only one she can touch is meant to showcase A) how Gambit contrasts Magneto and B) remind us that Magneto is never above using mutants for his own gains.

If this were reality most people would be calling Magneto a groomer and worse. We know Rogue was still a teen when Mystique took her in. We know that she's been an X-man for a few years. So Magneto was patient enough to wait until she turned 18?

Historically he hasn't done well with his love life. Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver's mom left him without telling him he fathered children because she was scared of him! (I'm only going on TAS and 97 here since this is an adaptation.) So where in the high heavens does everyome think he would be good for Rogue?

I don't care about the 'better than Remy' arguments because that's not the point! The point of who you ship Rogue with should be about if it's a relationship that is good for her! Is she their equal? Does she get treated with respect? Magneto looked at the Genosha council and without asking Rogue said "I'll lead but only if this woman I am trying to get back is my queen". LIKE DOES THAT EVEN SOUND MATURE? Magneto shows up, sees Gambit and Rogue being even mildly affectionate and starts pulling asshole moves on Rogue. And the narrative did nothing to make Rogue stand up for herself (which she would have) she should have told Erik "I'm a big girl I can get my own sugar for my coffee." She is shown numerous times to remind everyone she is no one's 'territory'.

Also wish to address the fact that making Rogue x Magneto comes with a 'sex is the only thing that matters!' Flavor that is exactly what so many of us are tired of in shipping. When did shipping stop being about the drama of a couple fighting against a narrative that pushes them apart or about finding love in the most unconventional of places, like alien hunting? And become solely about how nasty they can fuck? Seriously?

AND it's so blandly hetero it's not even funny. Because honestly the ways in which a couple can experience pleasure that don't involve traditional p in v penetration is vast and wild and there are enough types of gear and costumes and the like to facilitate that between Rogue and Gambit. Because that's all the argument has to stand on, is which man can fulfill her sexual needs. WHICH SHE HERSELF REALIZED WASN'T ENOUGH. She kisses Erik and goes "nope they're ain't any sparks there. This isn't going to be fulfilling ever."

Not to mention the fact that I can't genuinely see Magneto offering to die for Rogue. Sorry that grandstanding in Genosha was not the same. It was barely a heroic move... he still didn't save the Morlocks he promised to protect... he still failed. He couldn't save Leech and he couldn't stop the Sentinel either. Because yeah Magneto attempted to save Rogue and Gambit, but he did nothing to save the Morlocks at his side and he also survived without taking out the giant killer robot... but Gambit? Gambit said fuck it, gonna take this motherfucker to hell with me. He stopped Rogue from facing the sentinel so he could. And he actually stopped it. All on his own. Because that's what an x-man would do. Sure Magneto protectdd two people but sacrificed the morlocks yet again...

AND ON THE SUBJECT OF ROGUE x GAMBIT

Has Gambit always been great with Rogue? No, but that was the 90s and now look at how he handles shit? Comics writing has grown. It was a lot more heternormative and still had lots of rape culture hold overs in it.

Look at the episode when Cody shows up. He uses Rogue's connection to him from the past and then puts her in a situation that almost takes away her humanity. Her powers, which was what lured her into this trap in the first place, saved her from a man taking advantage of her. And the one time Gambit (in TAS) takes advantage of her, Morph in her form, told him to come and get some from her first. (So while he should have paused and woke Rogue up before kissing her, he had what he thought was an invitation.)

Gambit takes Rogue's decision to rule Genosha with Magneto incredibly well. He doesn't get mad, he doesn't call Rogue names, he doesn't do anyhting to hurt Rogue the way she is hurting him. He accepts it like a gentleman. Unlike Magneto who pursued Rogue's affections in unhealthy ways.

So uh... yeah that's my fucking rant.

[mistriavalley]

Olric is oblivious

Note: My theory as to why he's not romancable is that even if we romance him he simply wouldn't notice it as such. Once we marry him he'd probably think the rings are a symbol of our strong friendship

Gender neutral

TW: March is drunk + the farmer has zero game

Masterlist

Olric is the type of person who is easy to fall for and you fell. Hard

He's just so tall and strong and nice and so incredibly oblivious to all flirting attempts. The whole town knows how much you're crushing, because at this point you're practically throwing yourself at him. March has to leave as quickly as possible everytime you and Olric are in the same room or area, because he can't handle the cringe

It starts with you dropping subtle hints and smooth one-liners. Everytime Olric makes a joke you laugh (even when it wasn't that funny) and put your hand on his arm. It always lingers too long to be possibly mistaken as a friendly gesture, but here we are

You make sure to grab a seat either right next to him or in front of him at the Inn. When you two are sitting side by side you brush your leg or shoulder against his and when you're across of him you support your chin on your hand and stare deeply into his eyes

Reina is having a blast with all this steaming hot tea you're providing

The first opportunity to catch him alone in his room was presented to you when he mentioned his special rock collection. Right after leaving some not-so subtle hints you ask him if he could show you said collection and it actually seems like he has caught on this time, because he squeezes your hand in excitement

It doesn't take long for you to realize that he's just showing you all the rocks he found in the mines over time. There are no signs that he's even slightly interested in you

And there you were with a whole plan. It would start with some awful puns you picked up from Holt (since they seem to work like magic on Nora), you'd confess your crush and maybe, just maybe even kiss. That's all you had in mind

That's the point where you decide that it's better to back off a little, because Olric is a kind soul and you don't wanna jeopardize your friendship by making him uncomfortable or anything of the sort

Well, he might not notice being hit on, but he catches on to the sudden shift in your dynamic. You don't seem to touch him as much as you used to anymore and your cheesy one-liners have disappeared into thin air. Has he done something to upset you?

Of course March falls victim to not only your sorry excuses of pick up lines directed towards his older brother, but now he has to listen to how you failed so hard that you seemed to have given up completely

Yes, his brother never picked up on any of your attempts, but so haven't you. Why else do you think Olric invited you to see your collection? Why else does he always keep the seat next to him free when he knows you'll show up at the Inn that night? And why else would he tell all these terrible jokes that you laugh at every single time?

Because you both are oblivious idiots

But that's none of his business. It's annoying enough that you got recruited to fix his home town, a job he could very well do himself, but seeing how fast you managed to have Olric down on both knees and worship the ground you walk on is just extra awful. The whole universe seems to be wrapped around your finger without you putting any effort into it at all

But March wouldn't be March if he doesn't spill the tea to you after a glass of ice cold beer. With a blush that he usually gets from the alcohol spread across his face, he slides his arm over your shoulders and pulls you close

"I have a secret to tell you. It's about Olric and I really shouldn't talk about it."

"March, I don't think-"

"Don't tell the new farmer though."

Well, who wouldn't be curious now? So you keep your mouth shut and listen

"He really likes them."

"That's not a secret. We're- I mean they're good friends after all."

March shakes his head so hard he almost falls off the bar stool. You have to use both hands to keep him upright

"He likes likes them. If you catch my drift."

He attempts a wink at your direction which ends up with him just normally blinking with both eyes. Yes, that's your sign that he had more than enough to drink tonight. The Inn is about to close for the night anyways

Hemlock is gracious enough to help you carry the drunk blacksmith through the doors, but after that you're on your own with him. It's a real struggle to keep him quiet so he doesn't disturb the other citizens that are already tucked into their cozy bed. The thought alone makes you yawn

Finally after what seems to have lasted an eternity you arrive at the front door and March bangs at it full force with his fist

"Olric! Open da door!"

"March, don't yell-"

"Your crush is here!"

The door is being ripped open and strong arms pull the young man quickly inside. Olric turns to you, flustered

"Don't pay any attention to him while he's drunk. He's says all kinds of weird stuff when he's like this, haha!"

You feel a knowing smile creeping up on your lips. Oh, so March was in fact telling the truth and all this time you've been just as blind as the man you tried to hit on so many times

"Why are you smiling like that? What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Uh, okay. Well, thank you for bringing March home. That was very nice of you."

"No problem. He was telling me all sorts of interesting things. So it was fun."

Olric's whole body freezes and he looks like as if you caught him in the middle of doing something forbidden, but you cut him off before he could respond

"How about we have a lunch or dinner together at the Inn some time this week?"

"Sure!"

Cool. Perfect. You've finally done it! It's a date! You walk back home with a smug grin and a feeling of triumph in your chest

But what you don't know is that you should have said the word "date", because Olric once again thinks you're just being nice. As a friend

While you fall asleep, that grin still on your face, the former miner is laying in his own bed and staring at the ceiling. A sigh escapes his lips

"I don't think they like me like that."

[kerubimcrepin]

LIVEBLOG: Wakfu Season 4, Episode 13 [PART 1]

I wonder what Joris's opinion on Tristepin abandoning post is. It'e either "thank god I don't have two Iops to wrangle" or "well at least the the one that's less likely to be killed is here" or "FOR FUCK'S SAKE NOT THIS FUCKING GUY"

Stealth mission with an iop by your side sounds like a whole new type of hell on earth.

It's very brief, but at this moment (5:50 in the episode), we can see Joris and Goultard going up the stairs.

The demons in my head are, once again, telling me to keep screenshotting him.

Trying to get her out is a pretty delicate balance, considering his strength. Joris is probably quite aware of the possibility that he might accdentally hurt her.

There's no fucking way Joris doesn't want Goultard to die a gruesome, violent death.

He's imagining Goultard's face instead of the rock... Seething and malding in silence.

GET SCARED.

DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE TIME TO DODGE. HEHEHEHE

at least he's a good teammate, when he's not calling Joris slurs as a joke.

Not him looking down at them. BITCH WORK!!

Once again, I am compelled to take screenshots. It cannot be helped.

I will be honest, the sudden influx of content where Joris and Goultard are portrayed as friends — like drinking together, or going on missions together — in the fandom has been very weird, because I think what became very clear in this season is that Goultard is an iop who treats people in an iop way (for iops it's just normal to roughouse each other) while Joris is a man who has been infantilized for 600 years, doesn't want to be friends with anyone except people who never question his intelligence (like Yugo and Amaliaa), and wants to kill himself whenever his height is pointed out. and also has 2 drinking buddies already (who shower him in praise at how righteous and heroic and smart he is).

Literally fundamentally incompatible personalities. Joris can barely stand to be here, and the only thing uniting them is "we're immortal and don't want the world to end". If he could, Joris would slip rat poison into whatever Goultard is eating or drinking — because he knows that while it will not kill him, it will make him feel Bad. 😭

Maybe I'm weird, but I don't really like it when characters' discomfort of being treated cruelly is taken as something cute or funny or a Friendship thing...

(Attention: I am not bashing anyone, but expressing my personal opinion)

DFGJSDFKLGHSDKJFGHDSFKJG

you can tell that Joris is not having a good time. he's at his fucking limit. first he let loose with a "if you only knew :) how many people :) have degraded me the same way :) for all my life :)" and now an explicit "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!"

I really do think he's imagining Goultard's head here.

:)

As someone insane enough to have drawn maaany comparisons between Nora&Efrim and Joris this season, I think he has a soft spot for her by now. She's been through a lot...

And I think Joris understands what it's like, to feel guilty, because of something horrible happening — even if it's not necessarily your fault; besides that, I think they both have very closely matched temperaments — they're both introspective and a bit embittered.

In a kinder universe, Nora and Joris could have been besties. And Nora could have gone to his house for tea. The two of them could probably speak very quietly to one another about some interesting, sad things.

And then Kerubim could have a post-divorce stress disorder-related heart palpitations due to seeing a pink haired woman IRL inside his house unannounced.

Basically, I NEED NORA&JORIS FRIENDSHIP FANART HI?!

Basically: I have crazy levels of brainworms about this (and about Eva trying to sacrifice herself for her family, but there are so many screenshots in this post already...)

Of COURSE he'd stand guard for her.

I'm fucking CRAZY and INSANE.

HIS SMILE HERE!! HE'S SO PROUD OF HER!!! HE BELIEVES IN HER!!!!!!

[allmcl]

hi!! do you also write for armin (separately)? ive been craving some armin content for a while and i found your account, your writing is so amazing, and i was wondering if you'd write something where candy and armin arent back together yet in UL and, after a night in the snake room with alexy, rosa, priya and the others, armin decides to fight for her love not knowing he doesn't need to fight for it since she's head over heels for him

STILL HERE │ Armin Keenan.

When a reunion with an old love reminds Armin of everything they experienced together, he decides that after so much time, it's now or never that he should get you back.

pairing('s). armin keenan x f!reader

genre. fluff, angsty.

content wanings. mentions of breakup, alcohol consuming, cursing, kissing, suggestive themes.

author's note. MISSED THIS BOY SO MUCH DURING UL, hope you like this!! (tysm for requesting, sorry it took so long!) AND BTW, i found like a lot of lastnames and i decided for this one (not sure if is the canon one ://)

I was sure that my return to the city would be harder. After all, I couldn't blame anyone for being angry with me. If one of my friends just left, without even saying goodbye, I wouldn't be happy either. But, luckily for me, they had a much better reaction than I expected.

At the moment, I only saw Rosa and Melody. Although perhaps I didn't know how to show it at the time, having seen them after so long squeezed my heart so much that I still feel my emotions on the surface.

To tell the truth, I'm scared. Although I used to seeing eachother very often in high school, whether to go out for a drink or just to walk around the city, this is not high school anymore. And it's now, when I'm getting ready to go out, that I feel like I'm getting ready in my old room to go shopping with the them. The phone vibrates, and brings me out of my melancholic thoughts.

I look at him out of the corner of my eye, the screen glows with a notification from Alex.

Alex…

I refrain from further worries and simply read it from the preview.

"[Y/NNN]??? we are waiting for youuuu"

"Years waiting to see you, and you still late🙄​"

I smiled wistfully. I know he says it jokingly, but the guilt is real. But that's not important now, because it's once and for all my time to fix that, and to get back on track with my life here. I type a quick, “on my way,” before pocketing my phone and heading out the door to my campus room. Although the phone rings again, I don't bother checking it and I hurry to arrive on time.

I look at the time on the screen: "11:48." I curse under my breath. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I'm lost, and that even though I've been wandering around on the same street for more than twenty minutes, I still can´t find the bar. On the other hand, who would think of inviting someone to a place and not sending the address?

When I start to stress again, I recognize a voice in the distance that I would recognize anywhere. It's Alex. I follow the sound, although I don't pay attention to what it says, none of it matters when I see it. His eyes light up and he falls silent immediately. As I expected, he almost hugged me to the ground. Rosa also briefly joined our hug, smiling as she watched us interact.

"Finally!" He screeches in my ear, and although it dazes me a little I laugh out loud. "I missed you like crazy…" He whispered to me, and I had to separate myself for a moment to not burst out crying in my place.

"I missed you, Alex.." I sighed, but he seemed to notice my mood, changing the subject slighlty.

"You´re back, all that matters." He jokes, and I smile. "I hope you're ready for the surprise then."

I raise an eyebrow. "Surprise?"

"Yes, I told you by text." He emphasized obviously, gesturing towards his phone.

Of course, the text I didn't read. I nod briefly, so he thinks I know what he's talking about. Their surprises honestly scare me. They can go from something exciting to something illegal, you never know what to expect from these two. I'm nervous yes, I assume the "surprise" is inside.

"It's not bad at all." Rosa calms me down, she seems to read my mind sometimes. "I promise you'll be happy"

Well, now I'm scared.

Alexy wastes no time in cutting off the conversation, and Rosa simply presses her hand on my back lovingly, urging me to enter the disco-bar, "Snake Room." This was definitely not there when I lived here. Well, most of the things I see now didn't used to be there. Upon entering I immediately notice the loud music, the smoke and the smell of alcohol, the lights blur my vision a little, and it is difficult for me to discern where Alex is.

Rosa guides me a little to the table near the bar, which seems to be one of the quietest places in the place. But that's when the colored lights hanging near the stage allow me to catch a glimpse of him.

"I thought it would be nice for you to see each other again." Alex says, trying to calm the tension in the air.

My breath stops for a few moments. I don't know how to feel, but my body responds on its own. I'm shaking a little, and at this point I don't know if it's the flashing lights or their presence that's making me dizzy. I can barely move to get close to greet him. He changed a lot. Of course his essence is still there, I can tell, but it's definitely different.

"Welcome back." His voice is also different, deeper I could say. It throws me off a little. Well, all of him does. I curse myself internally. I was convinced I was ready for this, but I see I'm not.

I smile at him reflexively, and sit down across from him. The silence feels quite loud now that I feel his gaze on me, even though I avoid making eye contact. Rosa clears her throat, and gestures indiscreetly at Alex. I would laugh, if it weren't for the fact that this whole situation has me totally overwhelmed. I look at him for a few seconds, but he was already looking at me. God, I don't know if I can handle this.

"I imagined you´d be happier…" He smiled with amusement, and I couldn't help but feel my heart skip a beat at his expression. He looks boyish, in a strange way. It's as if for a moment, his expression took me back to high school Armin.

"I'm surprised, that's all." I laugh nervously.

"Well, he came all the way here just to see you." Alexy clarifies, but Rosa waves him off with a glare.

I look at him with my eyes slightly open. "You´re not living here?" The question escapes me before I can think about it.

"Not quite." He clarifies, and takes a sip of beer. It's now that my throat feels a little dry, but I don't feel like drinking alcohol. I could end up doing things i´ll regret. "Although now that you're back, I'd think about it." He winks at me.

I looked to the side, and felt my cheeks burn a little. It looked like it was going to be a long night.

"I thought you were tougher." Rosa reproaches, tripping a little, but Alexy holds her steady. "Now you go to bed early and don't drink. You've become an old man." He grimaces, and a laugh escapes us.

"It's not that!" Alex complains. "I just wanted to greet [y/n] sober." He looks at me smiling, and I smile back. "I'll take care of the old drunk" Rosa exclaims a "hey!" and hits him lightly on the shoulder, but he doesn't flinch.

"Are you back on campus?" Armin asks me, and then I remember that he is, in fact, still here. He looks at me, waiting for my response but I freeze instantly. Every time he speaks I experience the same embarrassment.

"Well, I'll leave you, lovebirds." The idiot does it on purpose. But for the first time, I notice that I'm not the only one embarrassed, Armin's cheeks turn pink, and he sends a reproachful look to his twin, who smiles innocently. Some things never change, I see. "Take care of her." It sounds more like a threat than a request, to which the black-haired man rolls his eyes and nods.

I watch Alexy walk away in the opposite direction.

Silence falls between us, and it is until we see the two disappear after turning down the street that I understand that I am alone with him. I smile awkwardly at him before taking a couple steps back.

"I'll walk you back." I open my eyes a little, and look at him with surprise. He seems sure of his words, and looks at me expectantly with that smile of his that I still have to get used to. "I don't like the idea of ​​you walking alone,"

"As much of a gentleman as I remembered." I reply, a flirtatious smile escaping me and Armin simply smiles wider. "It's close, anyway"

"I insist." His expression is confident, and well, I don't mind his company either.

With a slight nod of my head, Armin understands that I agree, so we start walking towards the campus. The silence this time is not awkward, and although we don't talk about anything, it really feels like there are an infinite number of topics to touch on. Not very pleasant topics. After all, we can't ignore that we were together, and that the break-up wasn´t the most pacific thing either.

"I was also glad to see you again." I whisper, and even though my voice sounds quiet, he hears me. He always does.

"I figured you'd be mad." He confesses, and although I don't see his face I know he's looking at me.

Deep down, yes I am. But I'm not sure if that was enough of a reason to ruin the evening and Alex's surprise. It would have been nice to have mentally prepared myself so that I wouldn't have reacted like a schoolgirl to seeing him.

"Well, it's been a long time…" I clear my throat a little. "I have my reasons to be tho."

"Yeah, but I bet you forgot all of it with how good I look." He mocks, smiling widely.

I click my tongue. "You can't use your face to change the past."

"You're right, but I can use it to change things now." A lopsided smile appears on his features, and his comment takes me by surprise.

I tense up suddenly and simply look away. I hate that probably if he tried… "You're too cocky." I complain.

Deep down, I wonder if that would bother me. It's stupid. Armin didn't care that we broke up, I really wonder what his intentions are now. But, I can't deny that the memory is still alive in me. Everything about him remains in me as if he had never left, and it bothers me that I couldn't change that in this embarrassing amount of time we were apart.

"I just feel like I'm not the only one." Armin grumbles, shoving his hands into the pockets of his baggy pants. Now I also notice that his style is different. It doesn't seem like his brother intervenes as much in his clothes as before, that is, he maintains a bit of his own style more than anything. More calm and informal.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I grimace, crossing my arms before looking back at him.

"I say that because I notice the way you look at me." His words make me even more angry. Sometimes I feel like there is no one who can read me like he does. It was always like this, since we were young. One expression on my face was enough for Armin to decipher what was happening to me.

"I―no.." I stuttered and he noticed it, however, he didn't continue probing and I remained silent.

The walk to campus was getting shorter, and I wasn't sure I knew how to say goodbye. Everything was so strange. It's not that I want to see him, but knowing that he was going to leave made me feel like I couldn't just leave him like that. My heart is beating fast, I feel like even he can hear it.

And although it seems like things can't get any worse, several drops falling on my hair bring me out of my frantic thoughts. The chance of rain was quite low today, but of course it has to rain anyway.

"This weather is a bit nice." Armin points out, extending his palm to feel the raindrops on it, which slowly intensify.

"Nice? I'm soaking my clothes." I grumble, trying to cover myself a little.

"On one of these days we kissed for the first time" Armin smiles to himself, and simply lowers his gaze to look me in the eyes.

Shit. I didn't expect to have to think about this again. Less now that he´s here. Of course I remember it. I invited him to eat at the restaurant where we made that ridiculous double date that I actually still remember as one of my most precious moments.

On the way back home, rain started pouring and us, like idiots, hide nder a tree until it calmed down a bit. I wouldn´t forget something as special as that.

"You have no right Armin." I feel my eyes water at the memory, but I am relieved to know that because of the rain it is not very noticeable. "You can't say that now."

"It's not easy to pretend that I don't remember anything that happened." He frowns a little and stops in the middle of the street, forcing me to do the same.

"I'm not asking you to do it but…" I stop, feeling a sudden lump in my throat.

"And you can't pretend that the same thing doesn't happen to you."

And he is right. He always is when he talks about my feelings. He is correct, of course. Since I saw him, I knew that in fact, nothing of what I felt for him had managed to dissipate over the years. My heart still belongs to him.

"I lost you once, [y/n]. I can't let you go again…" His words hit me like a bucket of cold water. "When I knew you were coming back I��…"

I interrupted him. "Do you think it's easy for me?" I raised my tone of voice slightly, the fierce rain drowning out the noise a little. "Your lack of interest tired me out, Armin. You can't come back into my life like this and expect me to throw myself into your arms like it was nothing."

"I know I did things wrong, but I can still show you that I changed!" He raised his voice too. My heart was racing, and his blue eyes looking at me like I was the only thing in the world made me feel like a teenager again. "I'm not the same one who made mistakes. The only thing that remains of me is the love I have for you, [y/n], it's the only thing I couldn't change."

Tears are streaming down my face, and I don´t think it comes unnoticed by him anymore. He sheepishly tries to dry them, but the water keeps running down.

"Look at me," Armin approached me and forced me to look at him with a gentle movement of his hand. He pressed his fingers a little on my chin. "I love you." And now, in his bright eyes, in his warm hands and in his smile that I never thought I would see again, I see the truth.

Without being able to get the words out of my mouth, frustrated, angry, I let myself go and as if my hands knew their way, they wrapped themselves around his neck and pulled him closer to me. Our breaths merge and his arms end up around my waist. We are so close I memorize every feature of his face, every new thing my eyes notice.

"Are you going to kiss me or keep making me wait?" He murmured, and to silence him once and for all I kissed him.

I felt safe, at peace. Like I've been waiting for this forever. His lips fit perfectly on mine as always, his grip tightens and I need to hold on to him as I feel my legs shake a little. It's passionate, fierce. It's not like the way he kissed me before, so innocent and clumsy.

The butterflies that I thought were dead begin to flutter in my stomach again, and the only thing that separates me from jim is the lack of air. But even though we break the kiss, Armin doesn't let me go, he keeps me close to him and brings our foreheads together.

"This time I'll make you stay." He sighs, and kisses me again to seal his promise.

©allmcl !

[aropride]

i saw a post the other day that said that gen z/gen alpha say "unalive" and "seggs" and stuff bc they're afraid of being "punished by an invisible force" and while i do think that the self-censoring sometimes unnecessary and worrying, i also don't think they're self-censoring for no reason.

i think there are a lot of situations where talking about suicide/death in general and sex outright would be punished by very real visible forces like parents and teachers and instagram community guidelines. like these kids (i say kids but i know people my age (20) do this, i feel like it's mostly younger genz and genalpha though at least in my experience) aren't just self-policing and self-censoring for no reason. some creators learned to adapt their language to unclear nebulous guidelines to try and avoid their accounts being taken down or their videos being shown to fewer people, then people started assuming any mentions of death or sex would be punished and started doing the same thing, and now younger kids have picked up on it bc they're online a lot and don't know any different.

but that's not the only part of this that matters bc while that is strange and a little dystopian. there are also offline real-life reasons kids would be scared to talk about this shit with actual words. like i was raised very christian, evangelical, not quite fundamentalist, "we don't use labels but we have stage lights for the worship songs but don't wear skirts above the knee" type of thing. my parents didn't teach me about sex until they found out i would have a sex ed class bc they had to sign a permission slip. and then they gave me a book for kids about sex that was heavily christian, abstinence-only, deeply homophobic etc. it didn't teach about birth control, about what things are not normal, any of that. and i was not raised in a way where i was even the slightest bit comfortable asking my parents or talking about it at all. my twin brother got the same book and would talk about sex or make jokes about it and our parents would get upset because it was "inappropriate" and he shouldn't be thinking about that or whatever. and if i had tried to talk about like, menstrual health or signs of abuse or even just made a joke about sex at all my parents would have been upset.

you can probably guess this from what i just said but unsurprisingly my parents weren't big on being upfront about mental health issues either. i have been depressed since before i can remember and was suicidal by the time i was eleven and i had no idea that the way i was feeling wasn't normal or that there was a word for it. i don't remember when i learned about suicide but i know my dad was at least willing to say the word in conversation when i was 12, which my mother wasn't happy about because it was "too dark" a conversation to be having (he had been telling me about a friend he had in college, specifically about how he had recovered from substance abuse issues and suicidal ideation).

and my parents were definitely not normal but there are objectively situations where parents are way worse about this type of thing. there are absolutely kids who aren't allowed to say words like suicide and death and sex. and they're not afraid of algorithms, there are real-life offline consequences if they slip up. so they self-censor, they talk quietly in the lunchroom with codewords and euphemisms with their friends. and that's not even to mention school, and how kids will get in trouble for anything an adult doesn't want them to talk about, how they can get in, again, real-life offline trouble for speaking frankly about this type of thing. because it's "inappropriate," because it's "upsetting," because their teacher is having a bad day, because god said not to, because they don't want their dm to a friend on tiktok to be flagged.

and i would much rather kids talk about these things with sometimes-insensitive code words than to not talk about them at all. if it's a choice between someone coming out as "tr4ns" to their friend and not having someone to support them at all, if it's between saying they want to "unalive" themself and never seeking help, i want them to go the sometimes-silly code word route. because i think they should be allowed to talk about these things and if they're not i think they have the right to try to do it anyway. the unnecessary self-censorship has been criticized to hell and back and i'm not saying it shouldn't be, especially when it's adults saying these things in real life situations. i'm just saying i think kids have a lot more pressure to censor themselves than people think, even offline.

[britneyshakespeare]

you know in a lot of ways i'm kind of the only child in my family of six. well it's actually a joke i've told for years because i think it's the funniest i could ever say in front of my family. just the funniest little-shit-youngest brat thing. is just stand beside the three people i share parents with and say "i'm an only child" like somehow they don't exist. but in a lot of ways i was and have always been very independent and self-willed and intrinsically motivated and i do the things i want to do and go down rabbit holes all by myself all the time and i love my own company and love being alone and living in my imagination and la di da di da.

there are a lot of things about me like my hobbies and interests and what i want to do in my life, the conventional "things" we define people by, that would be more or less the same if i did not have siblings. i would still be a poet and still be a teacher and still have a lot of the passions and inspirations, because they've had nothing to do with most of that, but it would probably just be a different flavor entirely. i don't know to what extent i come across to the followers of this blog like someone who would have siblings (although i do talk a lot with/about my twin sister on here since we're mutuals and share some followers/online friends), but in real life i see and talk about them all the time. my long-term friends who maybe have never even met my brothers have heard about them and my sisters-in-law and know their names and have heard some funny stories about them, in the present day and growing up. they know i'm close to my siblings. and as for my twin sister, there's really no one i consider a close friend who doesn't know her. if you only know me, we're acquaintances. if you've spent any time around me that wasn't in a work/school setting, i've almost certainly brought kaily along with me at some point.

so my siblings do not define me and even in the case of my brothers there are some sides of me they do not really see that my friends do, but they are my best friends in the world and i do consider myself to be my "truest" self around them. my relationships with my siblings have profoundly impacted the more abstract parts of myself, probably especially the way i can love and tolerate people different than myself. my brothers are the type of people that if they were not my brothers, if they were just random people, i would probably never form a natural bond with, but because of all the shared background i do appreciate them immensely because they're like nobody else in my life. that and, the commitment i make to being with them is just that: a commitment. sure the blood bonds will always exist but those are kind of arbitrary in comparison to the shared value we all have for each other, which is what really makes the four of us so special and does not necessarily come with every biological relationship, god knows.

that and one time at the dinner table my brother jon and i were like "yeah... yeah..." when his wife said she was the funniest person he knows because we were both like exchanging knowing glances like "nah that's me." and then my other brother dan said "actually i got into an argument the other day with [dan's wife's name] because she said she was the funniest person i knew and i said 'actually that has to be my sisters'" and i was just like YESSSSS........ YESSSSSS!!!!!!!! literally nothing else matters to me and i am not in competition with my sisters-in-law in any way in fact i love them so much; kaily and i have a very special relationship with them too. i love the sisters i gained. but i need to hear that WE are the people that make my brothers laugh the hardest. i NEED to hear that, i need that to be true of them and only them because i have been making dan and jon laugh for 24 years and i do not plan on stopping that any time soon. nope. i better always be the funniest person they know

people with lots of siblings are fascinating and by that i mean me and the davies brothers

[pompomqt]

Journey to the West Chapter 53

Welcome back to this week's chapter of Journey to the West with @journeythroughjourneytothewest. And as you can probably see from this week's meme, it's *that* chapter this week. So lets get into it shall we?

We begin this chapter where we left off last time, with someone calling out to the Pilgrims. Turns out it's the local mountain gods, and they still have the rice Monkey left with them. They kept it warm and everything. Tripitaka is touched by this, and thanks Monkey, and even says that he should have listened to him and not left the circle. Monkey just says, that he's the one who suffered most for leaving the circle, because he then ended up in someone else's circle anyways. When Pigsy tries to ask what he means by that- Monkey just snaps back that he knows this whole situation was actually his fault. Which- agreed. Anyways Tripitaka say's he'll listen to him next time, but I think we all know that that promise isn't going to last long. Still the pilgrimage is able to have a nice meal together before setting off again on their journey.

Now that we have finally wrapped up last week's adventure, it's time for a new one, let's see what kind of mountain or river demon they have to deal with next. They travel for a bit without incident until spring arrives, and in return they arrive at a small idyllic stream. Surprisingly they don't even need to fight a demon this time to get across, they just call over the local ferryman, who actually turns out to be a ferry woman. Monkey tries to ask why a women is doing this job, but she just smiles mysteriously. That's not ominous at all. Either way however they get to the other side without incident.

They pay the ferry woman, however before they can move on, Tripitaka decides that the water looks very appetizing and asks Pigsy to get him some. Remember kids- don't drink water directly from rivers- especially if there is a village just a few paces away that you can get water from. However I guess this logic didn't exist back then, because Pigsy gets him some river water and also drinks some himself. After that Tripitaka once again mounts his horse and they continue on their way.

Half an hour into their journey though, Tripitaka and Pigsy start having terrible stomach aches, and their stomachs even start to swell. Since they can't continue on like this, Monkey stops at the local inn, and tells Tripitaka that he'll get him some hot liquid and ask if there is an apothecary around. So Monkey approaches the first friendly old lady he see's, and tells them about their situation. However once the old women hears that they drank from the river she starts laughing and even calls for others to come and see the latest town gossip.

Now as much as Monkey might appreciate some fun and games- he does not appreciate everyone poking and laughing at his master rather when there is something seriously wrong with him. So he grabs the old women and demands that she give them some hot water or else. The old women then shakily explains that boiled water won't help them now. As the old woman goes on to explain, they are in the country of women, where no men live. So when a woman wants to have a child, she drinks some water from the Child and Mother River... the very same river that Pigsy and Tripitaka drank from.

So Tripitaka and Pigsy start freaking out about the fact that they are pregnant, especially since they are both men and physically can't give birth. Meanwhile Sandy and Monkey make sure to crack some jokes at their expense. Anyways Tripitaka asks the old woman if she has any medicine that will fix this, and the old woman says that although typical drugs don't work on this type of pregnancy there is a way. They just have to go to Male-Undoing Mountain, and enter the Child Destruction Cave and drink water from the Abortion Stream. All real names I pulled directly from this translated book by the way, I am not making this up.

Unfortunately getting the water won't be so easy as simply going to the mountain since last year a daoist immortal named True Immortal Compliant moved into the cave and started charging exorbitant prices for even the smallest glass of water. Which will be impossible for monks like them to pay- or at least it would be if Monkey ever paid for anything in his life. So Monkey borrows a large porcelain bowl from the old woman who tells him to try and bring back as much as possible for emergency. Then after leaving Sandy in charge, Monkey takes off with his cloud somersault. This has the added effect of impressing old women so much, that she is sure to take extra care of Tripitaka in the meantime.

So Monkey arrives at the indicated mountain and spots the abby, and a young daoist hanging out outside of it. So Monkey politely greets the daoist, and explains why he's here. When the Doaist asks where all his offerings are, Monkey says they are monks so they don't have anything like that. The Daoist tries to shoo him away until he comes back with offerings, but Monkey insists that the Daoist should just tell his master that Sun Wukong is here to see if that will change his mind.

So the Daoist goes in and tells the immortal that a 'Sun Wukong' is here to get some abortion water. Unfortunately, saying this, seems to have worsened Monkey's case, since the Immortal comes storming out hook in hand and demands to know where this 'Sun Wukong' fellow is. Monkey claims the name, and even insists that he's the real Sun Wukong when the Immortal asks. Which fair enough- I'm not sure who would be crazy enough to try and pretend to be Sun Wukong. Well... maybe there is one person but that's a story for another day.

Anyways turns out that this immortal has a bone to pick with Sun Wukong- surprising I know. For once though this isn't about his rampage through heaven- it's actually about the 'Great King Holy Child' Aka Red boy. Aka, the Demon Bull King's son, who had the power of the true fire of Samadhi who is currently working for Guanyin. Anyways, turns out that that Red Boy is this Immortal's nephew, and he isn't to happy about what happened to Red Boy. Monkey tries to insist that working for Guanyin is a great position, while the Immortal argues that it's better to be a King then someone else's servant.

Anyways the two begin to fight, and Monkey is clearly the superior fighter. So soon enough the Daoist retreats back into his Abby. Rather then chasing him down to try and attack him again, Monkey just heads to the well, only to see that the Daoist is guarding it. And while the Daoist can't beat Monkey in a fair fight, he seems perfectly capable of preventing him from drawing water from the well. After some back and forth, Monkey ends up fumbling the bucket and dropping it into the well. Since plan A failed, Monkey decides it's time for Plan B, aka get someone else to get the well water while he distracts the immortal.

So Monkey leaves to go get Sandy, and comes back to the village to find Tripitaka and Pigsy still groaning in pain. Sandy asks if Monkey was able to get the water, and Monkey explains the situation, and that he came back to have Sandy help him. Tripitaka is a bit worried about both Monkey and Sandy leaving while him and Pigsy are so indisposed, but the old women assures him that she will take good care of them, and won't hurt them. While Monkey wonders how any of these old ladies even could harm them- the old woman explains that while she and her cohorts are to old to be interested in men anymore- the same doesn't go for the younger ladies. Who would probably rip them apart in their eagerness. And on that ominous note- they borrow a bucket and some rope from the old lady before heading off again.

Once they arrive back at the mountain, Monkey tells Sandy to hide himself until Monkey provokes battle, and once the Immortal is sufficiently distracted, Sandy can grab the water. Plan in place, Monkey approaches the door and demands that the immortal open up. The Immortal isn't to eager to fight Monkey after Monkey kicked his ass last time, but his Doaist follower hypes him up, saying that Monkey may be able to win in a straight fight, but the Immortal was able to keep him from the well. So that means they are completely evenly matched!

Now filled with unearned confidence the Immortal goes out to fight Monkey again. While those two duke it out, Sandy heads for the well, but is stopped by the young Daoist. However Sandy doesn't play no games, and when the Daoist tries to stop him, Sandy breaks his arm. Better that then his neck I guess. With no one left to stop him, Sandy successfully draws water from the well. After that he calls to Monkey and tells him that they've got the water, so he can stop pretending that his is anything close to a fair fight now.

So Monkey says he'll spare the demon for the Bull Demon King's sake, as long as he stops blackmailing the women here out of their water. However I guess Monkey didn't kick his ass hard enough, because the Immortal tries to use his hook to swipe Monkey's legs again, only for Monkey to take the hook and break it into four pieces. Now that the immortal has been thoroughly beaten, Monkey and Sandy take their leave.

So Monkey and Sandy return, and the old woman is delighted with how much water they've brought back. Pigsy threatens to drink the whole bucket of course, but the old woman says that if he does that his intestines will probably dissolve. Which is enough to convince even Pigsy to stick to the recommended dose. So Tripitaka and Pigsy both drink some of the water- and after they... ahem... 'evacuate their bowls' the two are no longer pregnant. After that the old woman is kind enough to prepare a bath and dinner for them, and asks that Monkey leave the rest of the water with her. Since apparently the cost of the water will be enough to pay for her funeral expenses. Fun. And on that note it is once again time for the pilgrims to continue on their Journey to the West.

Current Sun Wukong Stats: Names/Titles: Monkey, The Stone Monkey, The Handsome Monkey King, Sun Wukong (Monkey awakened to the void), Bimawen (Banhorseplague), The Great Sage Equal To Heaven and Pilgrim Sun. Immortality: 5 + 94,000 years Weapon: The Compliant Golden Hooped Rod Abilities: 72 Transformations, Cloud-Somersault, Ability to transform his individual hairs, super strength, Ability to Summon Wind, Water restriction charm, and the ability to change into a huge war form, ability to duplicate his staff, ability to immobilize others, the ability to put others to sleep, and the Fiery eyes and Diamond Pupils, intimidating horses, churning large bodies of water, sleeplessness, seizing the wind, enhanced smell, discerning good and evil within a thousand miles, Spirit Summoning, lock picking, object transformation, distance reduction, vanishing in a flash of light, super healing, transforming others, and Invisibility Demon Kill Count: 9+ Unknown Number of Minions Human Kill Count: 1009 God's Defeated: 23 + Unknown number Defeats: 6 Crime List: Robbery, Murder, Mass Murder, Arson, Theft, Coercion, Threatening a Government Official, Resisting Arrest, Assault, Forgery, Employee Theft, False Imprisonment, Impersonating a Government Official, Treason, attempted murder, failure to control or report a dangerous fire, desecrating a corpse, breaking and entering, trespassing, violating Tree Law, looting corpses, trading counterfeit goods, criminal threat, animal abuse, Assisting or Instigating Escape, Damage to Religious Property, contaminating a substance for human consumption and Identity Fraud. Cry Count: 8 + 3 fake cries Mountains Trapped Under: 4

Current Tang Sanzang stats: Names/Titles: River Float, Xuanzang, Tang Sanzang, Tripitaka and the Tang Monk Abilities: Curing Blindness, making branches point a certain direction (allegedly), reciting sutras, pretty privilege, memorization, Heart Sutra and Meditation. Cry Count: 27 Tight Fillet Spell Uses: 31 Paralyzed by fear: 5 Bandit Problems: 2 Kidnapped by demons: 8 Falling Off Horses: 8

Current Bai Long Ma Stats: Names/Titles: Bai Long Ma (White Dragon Horse), Prince of the Western Ocean, and third prince jade dragon of the dragon king Aorun Abilities: Transforming into a human, a water snake, and a horse, eating a horse in one bite, flight, Magic of Water Restriction, Singing, and Sword Dancing. Cry Count: 1 Crime List: Arson, and Grave Disobedience. Contributions to the plot: 2 Kidnapped by demons: 1

Current Zhu Wuneng Stats: Names/Titles: The Marshal of the Heavenly Reeds, Zhu Wuneng (Pig who is aware of ability), Zhu Ganglie, Pigsy, Idiot and Eight Rules. Weapon: Rake Abilities: 36 Transformations, parting water, fighting underwater, cloud soaring, size enhancement and CPR Demon Kill Count/Kill steals: 2 Kidnapped by Demons: 4 Human Kill Count: 1 Failed Flirtation/romances Attempts: 3 Cry Count: 2 Crime List: Sexual Harassment, Murder, Kidnapping, arson, defamation, Damage to Religious Property, contaminating a substance for human consumption, Identity Fraud and Theft

Current Sha Wujing Stats: Names/Titles: The Curtain-Raising General, Sha Wujing (Sand Aware of Purity), Sandy and Sha Monk Weapon: Monster Taming Staff Abilities: Fighting underwater, Cloud soaring, and fetching water from a well. Demon Kill Count: Unknown number of minions. Kidnapped by Demons: 3 Human Kill Count: 1 Crime List: Breaking a Crystal Cup, murder, desecration of a human corpse, Damage to Religious Property and contaminating a substance for human consumption

Previous - Masterpost - Next

[felicjana050896]

Hell's Great Dad Song: Charlastor's Analysis (Part 1)

Let's analyze Alastor's truth and lies. In the song Hell's Great Dad we can see when Alastor is honest and when he is lying, just by looking at whether he is "himself" or a "chameleon".

Here Alastor is telling the truth, he was there from the very beginning, just like Angel, Husker and Niffty, they were the first people in the hotel (not counting Vaggie of course).

Here, too, Alastor tells the truth, he may not believe in the idea of ​​redemption itself, but he believes in Charlie because he is aware of her power, her potential, which he himself mentions in a conversation with Rosie in episode 7, Alastor is the one who truly believes in her.

Here we have a moment of lie, but I honestly don't know whether to interpret it literally, because as we know from Viv, Charlie and Alastor have the same sense of humor (her post on Twitter), so if Alastor told her this type of joke, she would definitely laugh, it means so either they are not joking with each other (at least for now), or it has some metaphorical meaning that I have no idea about, unfortunately I am not a native English speaker, so I may simply not know something, in which case I would be grateful for additional knowledge :)

Here he tells the truth again, which Charlie herself confirms, whether we see it or not, Alastor probably manages the hotel in some way, considering that he "hired" Husker and Niffty there and helped with advertising and changed the name of the hotel, he is from management side.

Here it is still true, Alastor says that he is her guy, "your day to day" again a confirmation that he is faithful to her and will be by her side.

Here in this sentence we have a mixture, first Alastor tells the truth, then the lie.

"Your chum"- this is true, Alastor really considers himself her guy, her friend, regardless of his intentions in using her power, he doesn't want to destroy or hurt her (I've seen posts suggesting this), yes, he does take advantage of her, but he also wants to do it by manipulating her, gaining her trust, getting closer to her and becoming her close person, he wants to be someone who will be with her day after day, will be her confidant and closest person, so that he can use from her power, her potential, which she herself will give him, of her own will. Alastor is not stupid, he is aware that Charlie is much more powerful than him, not to mention Lucifer, and if he did something bad to her, Lucifer would not have no mercy for him, he knows it, so he doesn't and never will have the intention to hurt Charlie, because that would be the stupidest thing he would do (and probably the last thing too before Lucifer would crush him), he aims to become her closest person , so that she, of her own free will, will listen to him and rely on him, and he will then become the most important demon in hell (adding, of course, his release from the pact he made).

Then we have a lie: "your steadfast hotelier", why is it a lie...(?), because, as I wrote above, Alastor believes in Charlie, in her power, but he does not believe in the form of redemption and in the idea of ​​​​a hotel (btw I cannot I can't wait until he finds out about Sir Pent's redemption, I bet that this could be my favorite Alastor's face in s2 when he finds out :D ), so even though he is her manager, her producer, ATTENTION... even though that I wrote above referring to the hotel and his role in it, then... it doesn't have to be about the hotel and it's probably not about it at all... ,,Your executive producer", "Your", not ,,hotel executive producer", but ,,Your"..., Your power, Your potential, Alastor is still about Charlie in this song, not about the hotel, he is not a hotelier and does not want to be one, that's why: ,,your steadfast hotelier" is a lie because it refers to the hotel, while ,,your executive producer" is not because it actually refers to Charlie, not the hotel.

Let's face it... he didn't fix any clog :D , and in fact, this again refers to the fact that it's not about the hotel, he doesn't repair any clog, because he doesn't take the hotel seriously and doesn't care about it, he only cares about Charlie.

You can also see the change in Niffty, in the first two pictures Niffty has normal colors (apart from the lighting which also shines on Charlie, but it's just the lighting), while in 3 and 4 her hair turns pinkish and you can say "but it's water flows down her", except that we see that the stripes that form on her hair are in the 3rd and 4th picture, while they are not in the 1st and 2nd, plus they do not change their position, they do not drip, they are constant, which shows that Niffty is on Alastor's side, is loyal to him and will help him, also when it comes to winning Charlie.

And there are huge lies here... Alastor and Charlie have no bond (at least for now)...

...and certainly not a father-daughter bond, that's one big lie.

By the way, we can see how Charlie's facial expressions change. Earlier (while singing about bonding) Charlie was smiling, happy, her eyes were fully open, her eyebrows were raised. However, when the above line about his daughter comes, Charlie, although still smiling, slowly begins to frown, and at the final words, when Alastor says "I had", Charlie frowns completely, it doesn't look like he has a happy expression on his face or the one who says "how sweet", that is, the facial expression expressing consternation, as if Charlie was internally saying "What the hell are you talking about?", sorry, but again I will mention that I have seen a lot of people who, even when pointed out to them that Viv herself said that Alastor doesn't see Charlie as a daughter, they changed the argument to "but Charlie sees him as a father", NO(!), Charlie doesn't see him that way at all, which we see in this scene, she already has one father , who, even though he was absent, still loves her incredibly, Charlie doesn't need any second father and, as you can see, she is completely disgusted with this idea.

Here is the moment when after these words Alastor looks at Lucifer and makes sure that he was pissed off :D

There are still lies here, although we still see Charlie's furrowed eyebrows in first picture, but when Alastor strokes her, despite the text, we no longer see disgust, but more satisfaction.

Here's part 2:

[ancha-aus]

Ghosts & Medium AU Drabble - First Encounter

Because we all know. I have no self control :D

I don't know if this will become a serie like RealAgeAU.

This drabble is more of a thank you to all the lovely people who interacted with me over this idea and added their own little ideas and headcanons <3 So this is for all of you <3 (also i named Ghost Papyrus Ash because I like the name combination of Dust and Ash. Dust to dust and ashes to ashes kinda deal/joke)

*---------------------*

Dust taps the steering wheel as he drives through the town. Many people shoot his van worried and suspicious looks but he really doens't care that much.

Ash does not agree.

"If they know what is good for them they will stop this idiotic behaviour!" Ash huffs and grumbles as he floats around the top of the van, only his skull and hands available to him in this phantom form. "They are already lucky we are willing to give them our presence!!"

Dust hums as he follows the road "It isn't big of a deal."

Dust stops their van at the end of the road and grabs his laptop. a beat up old model but it works for what he wants. He only uses it for work stuff anyway. he opens his email and checks the address "We are here." he looks up and spots the house the email describes.

Ash huffs but floats near his shoulder "stupid white family who moved into an obviously haunted house again?"

Dust snorts and shrugs "Maybe. The man didn't specify. still." he grins at his brother "wanne bet?"

Ash looks unamused "I don't bet with you anymore."

Dust shrugs "your lose. Either way. I bet that this is the same old story. a white family moved to this very cheap mansion because the father was convinced this change of environment would solve all their issues, which are mostly that he cheated on his wife with his twenty year younger assistant."

Ash huffs unimpressed and just points pointedly at the house "Do your job. What can we expect here?"

Dust sighs but focusses on the house in the distance as he slowly opens his aura and soul for influence. Doing this near a lot of spirits leaves him at the risk of being possessed. which is why he does this only from a large distance and when he doens't sense other spirits nearby.

Dust hums as he focusses "okay... I think this may be a poltergeist? Though a very powerful one." he shoots Ash a look "best you dont go on a recon mission." he turns his driver's chair around and gets up to look through his shelve.

Ash grumbles behind him but doesn't fly off to investigate on his own. Ash as phantom is very stealthily and able to get anywhere he wants. But it leaves him weak to other spirit types.

Dust first grabs the pendant to strenghten Ash, which he tugs away in his scarf. Next he grabs a notebook and pen. An ouija board. a ghost radio.

He considers his tools before also grabbing the EMF meter and a handheld thermometer.

Ash laughs "You don't need those. if you are right and it is a poltergeist you just need to follow the floating and throwing objects to find it."

Dust shrugs "They may not be active. and stop calling your fellow spirits 'it's. it is rude." he gets out of his van and locks it before walking the last bit of the distance towards the house. Ash grumbles unhappily but follows him.

They get to the mansion together and find the family out in the garden. camping. huh. Honestly good idea on their part. just camping just outside the house.

The man had been holding a sniffing girl before catching sight of him.

The man looks excited as he hands the girl to the grown woman. the wife then it seems.

The husband rushes over "You are here! please help us!"

Dust tilts his skull and studies the scene before looking back at husband "hello. How long have you been having this spirit in your lives?"

The man sighs and moves to speak but the wife gets to his side "please love. lets first let our guest sit and we can all tell him what we saw."

Dust tilts his skull at her "Normally people don't believe in what i do."

the wife laughs but looks tired "I didn't believe in ghosts before until my house suddenly got haunted out of nowhere. And the priests we hired started to lose their minds. You get more openminded after that experience."

They end up sitting together in the grass as they explain that this was a house they bought about ten years ago. and that they never had these problems before until a month or so ago. that knives started flying and attacking them and how they couldn't feel safe anymore. How many had tried to demand the ghost to leave or tried to make it leave but nothing worked.

Dust looks at the small list he made and nods "i will need to find out why they dont leave." normally something keeps a spirit anchored to this realm and reality. it is strange that this spirit moved in without having a reason.

or at least it seems like that.

Dust asks if there seems to be a room where the spirit is most active and the family tells him it seems to be the living room though they have also been haunting the master bedroom a lot.

Dust nods and walks towards the front door. Already noticing the presence of the spirit as he gets near. He opens the front door and waits for a moment.

silence. No movement. an unnatural darkness.

Is the spirit taking energy from the environment to get this powerful? Normally they tend to feed on fear or memories. taking it from the environment is rare but not unheard of.

Dust makes sure to keep his voice calm and even "Hello. I am coming in okay?" he waits for a moment before nodding and stepping inside.

The door slams shut behind him and Dust nods "fair enough. can't have a draft form." he glances around. He needs to make a choice. living room or bed room.

He goes towards the living room. That one is generally more socially acceptable to visit on a first visit.

He gets to the room and looks around. It is a mess of furniture thrown over and broken things. The TV is static and everything is lit up with that greyish light.

Dust takes a moment to get comfortable at the coffee table as he sits with his legs crossed on the ground "Hello. I would like to ask you some questions if that is okay."

More silence but no hostile auras around him.

Dust nods and takes out the ways to help the spirit communicate "Do you have a prefered way to speak?" he points at the notebook, the radio and the ouija board.

A laugh in the air and Dust searches for the source. The longer he is near spirits the easier for him it becomes to hear and see them. He can see the outline of the spirit and watches them.

The laughted stops and the spirit floats closer to the offered items. they seem to nudge some of them before huffing.

Dust nods "no preference? we can try to just communicate as is then?"

The other stops and turns to face him. More details are becoming clear to Dust as the spirit remains near. They seem to have been a skeleton before, or they just prefer that form now.

The spirit chuckles and leans on their fist as they lay on their front in the air "sure. sounds fun."

their voice is still a little hard to understand but Dust can manage. He will have a headache after this however. That always happens when he communicates like this with new spirits.

Dust nods before putting the offered tools away before grabbing his own notebook for his personal notes "Hello, do you have a name that i can refer to you with? and do you have a preference in pronounce or gender to be referred with?" and he waits.

The spirit, becoming more and more clear to him, stares at him before speaking with that crackling and static voice "Killer. I am a guy."

Dust nods and notes it down "Killer. Hello. I am Dust. I was hoping you could answer some of my questions." more of a statement but an important one to make.

Killer nods and shrugs as answer. Okay that is good. no obvious hostile air just yet. Killer is also becoming more and more visible the longer he is not hostile. Dust can make out the skeleton with a bright red target in front of his sternum. the sweater and pants he is wearing. most telling however? the dark and empty sockets adn the black tears.

spirit forms usually say a lot about how a spirit died. The best way to make a spirit leave is to help them move on which is about 9 out of 10 times connected to their death.

So... no eye lights... hopeless situation? black tears. very traumatic? that is all he has so far and that is just speculations.

Dust asks his first question "How long have you been a spirit?"

Killer blinks before shooting him a grin "Checking if i am legal? Don't worry! I am well beyond the legal age." and he winks.

Dust blinks as Ash is silent by his side. okay. not the kind of answer he had been expecting. but better than being hostile...

Dust gives a slow nod as he makes a note "so you have been a spirit for a while. how long have you been at this place specifically?"

Killer shrugs as he thinks "little while. a month ish? so i am open to running away wiht you." and he grins at him again.

Ash grumbles angerly behind him "I think a murderous spirit is better than whatever is going on here."

Dust decides to not pay much attention to the flirsts and stay on track "Where were you before you moved here?"

Killer grins "In some other house with other people."

dust nods and continues "Why did you leave that place?"

Killer grins as he leans on his fist. staring at him "They moved and no one new moved in."

Dust frowns and asks "isnt that your aim? By haunting them? To make them leave? To have your own place for just yourself?"

Killer freezes for a moment and seems to grow a bit more static. Then he grins wider and leans closer to him "I mean. I would love to have my own house! Especially as that is seen as hot right? Having your own place." Killer winks at him again "Make sure no one interrupts our alone time?"

Ash makes gagging sounds behind him as Dust notes down 'doesnt want to be alone.'

Dust thinks for a moment before speaking again "You seem very focussed on being near others. does that mean you regret being alone?" just get more information.

Killer grins "The only thing i regret is not meeting you earlier."

Dust hums as he thinks. He doesn't seem to have any regrets. So his death and lingering isn't regret related.

It goes on like this for hours. Dust asking Killer questions and Killer replying with somekind of pickup line or other flirt with tiny bits of informations within those answers.

By the time it is evening Dust has a small list of things that seem to be trauma related but not any closer to actually getting the spirit to move on.

Dust says his goodbye as he moves towards the door only for the door of the living room to slam shut. Dust looks at it before turning back to Killer "Yes? Was there something?"

Killer looks downright panicked "Where are you going? Don't leave!"

yeah that is very obviously trauma related to being alone. maybe left behind? abandoned by someone Killer cared a lot about? Maybe that explains the flirting?

Dust speaks "I was going to go eat and sleep. I need to it to live." and he waits.

Killer frowns as he rubs his arms and eyes the door "And you will be back?"

Dust nods "I was planning on it. If i am welcome."

Killer thinks but nods. the door behind him unlocks and opens and Dust hears a second door do the same in the distance.

Dust nods and leaves the house. he gives the family a quick update that it may take a while longer as he tries to figure this out. then he goes to get his van and park it closer.

This may be a bit of a tricky case after all.

*---------------------*

and then in the end dust never managed to get killer to move on and killer ended up stalkign him instead <3

A drabble for this silly au!! I love seeing everyones ideas and headcanons and i hope this helps you guys to also keep interacting with me about this :D <3

part 2 - New Haunting

[seiya234]

the haunting of ian beale, 2/?

uh this one got long lol. part one here.

---

Ian looked around him.

He looked at who was next to him, and what he was wearing and sighed deeply.

"Well, it's not the Symbolism Room at least."

Henry nodded. "It's the Symbolism Beach, which will obviously be better."

"Was that a joke?"

"Rest assured, I do not engage in any type of jokes, frivolity, japes or shenanigans."

"Well as long as that's settled."

The beach was... endless, sand in all directions on either side of him, water in front of him. Ian didn't look behind him; something inside told him that he wouldn't like it. Normally that would have had him immediately looking from sheer spite but his gut was telling him

he would see Nothing

truly, Nothing.

could he handle seeing Nothing? no, okay, let's move on then because

this chair was very comfortable.

Henry and Ian were in Adirondack chairs, and Ian knew it wasn't his mind supplying he beach because he had never heard that term in his life. Thankfully, something knew him well enough to pair his swim trunks with a shirt and sun hat.... though considering his trunks were covered in yellow triangles, and his shirt had a Radical Dude Doing Sik Sk8 Trix on it, he was still clearly being fucked with.

Henry, Ian was bemused to see, was still in his weird pre-Transcendence 'preacher' outfit, though tonight at least he had short sleeves on.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Ian looked out at crashing waves, water so dark as appear to black, a blue cloudless sky. It felt... calming. Meditative. The waves were just enough to provide sound, but not so violent as to actually disturb the sense of calm tranquility.

His brain, Ian realized, was quiet.

Quiet in that every time he felt the panic rise, it felt like a big fist came to kindly push on his chest until he settled down.

He should probably be worried about that but

oh. hey. A fruity tropical drink in his hand. Convenient, that.

"What brings you here this time?" Ian asked. "I"m not sure how many after school specials I can handle."

Henry frowned a bit. "I'm not entirely sure myself. Quite frankly I'm amazed I'm here spea-"

Henry disappeared. Ian took the opportunity to will his drink from a virgin pina colada to a margarita.

He looked out at the ocean.

He didn't look behind him.

"My apologies." Henry was still the same, though his glass had now turned into a mug that read 'World's Best Grandpa.'

"Not exactly fun being constantly in the midst of an existential crisis, I get it."

Henry looked around him. "This... this is my daughter's beach."

The mindscape of someone dead a thousand years. But

"You seem... relatively calm, about that," Ian finally ventured.

"You mean, as compared to Alcor?" Ian must have pulled a face, because Henry let out a bittersweet little laugh.

"No. I am sad my daughter is gone. But I am happy knowing since then she has had a hundred different life times to experience joy-"

"-and pain-"

"-and that too but one is not outweighed by the other. It just is. We see each other in-"

Henry kept talking but for a minute all that came out was radio static. Ian had a feeling that even if Bill or Alcor were here, they too would only hear that static as well.

"-also, with all due respect for my brother, it has been a millennium. Everyone and everything involved has moved on."

"But not him," said Ian with full disrespect.

"No." Henry took a drink and adjusted his visor. "in a way, I pity him, deeply. I think he will forever be locked in the trauma of losing everyone and everything he knows. There is a part of him that cannot change, cannot move on, and he knows it."

"Okay, but that's bullshit though?" and oh, was he mad? Okay, he was not only mad, but pretty mad, even with the chest pushing blanket on him.

"I'm sorry, but a thousand years, and nothing has changed? Seriously? Also have we forgotten that vampires also can live a very long time, or dragons, and I don't see them doing... doing-"

Ian waved a hand to indicate everything Alcor had done, ever.

"Vampires don't have infinitely expanding and growing power at their beck and call."

"And that makes a difference how?" Man the combination dreamarita, dream beta blocker, and the constant rage that bubbled under his skin was actually a really good combo, the words were flowing but the heart rate was not accelerating, 12/10 feeling.

"My life, Mira's life... they're different because Alcor is in them- and not always for the better."

"Bill might have happened anyway."

"Point. But would I be missing an eye, would-"

Ian stopped, because he didn't want to tell Henry about the pain, the sadness, the absolutely tremendous amount of stress on all of them, because the preteen with the power of a god decided to come into their lives and play with them like dolls.

He didn't deserve that truth, yet.

Everything was silent for a minute, save for the breaking of the waves and the cry of the gulls.

Finally, Henry managed to say, "I think, I am a little upset to hear you say that. But if I put my emotions aside for a second, I do not think you are entirely wrong, either."

Ian was still. He had seen Henry crush the plastic armrests under his hands, caught the hot iron tang of blood in his nose and a flash of meat in the antlers.

"Has he told you, about my children? His nieces and nephew?"

"No. He hasn't? I'm... sorry?"

For a minute, Henry disappeared. But this time it felt like it was because he chose to do so himself.

Henry blipped back in, now also holding a dreamarita. "My apologies. I did not realize how that would affect me. And I did not hold space for your extremely valid criticisms."

Looking at him, Ian felt a wash of pity come on him. What was it like- no, what had to have happened that even a thousand years later you felt the need to exert that level of control over oneself?

"Anyway," Henry went on. "We had triplets- Acacia, Hank, Willow. They were our everything. Alcor was their fourth parent." The math must clearly have not been mathing on Ian's face because Henry added "We also had my father-in-law with us. No but... I don't regret having Alcor with us, having Alcor raise the kids. He loved them, more than anyone or anything else-"

"-except Mizar."

Henry looked like he bit a lemon.

"Yes. Well. My point is, I don't regret it but thinking about it... we were all affected in some way, letting a demon into our homes, into our bed. And... it wasn't always all good." Henry paused. "But it wasn't all bad, either."

Ian thought about it, really, truly thought about it for a minute.

"It's not all bad," he finally agreed. "But he seriously needs to fix his shit."

"I'll have a talk with him-" Henry's hands and feet blipped, appeared quickly hanging from his antlers, then appeared back where they should be. "Or I'll try to anyway."

They drank their drinks. At some point, a goat wandered onto the beach.

Ian still didn't feel tempted to look back behind him. It felt like being fourteen. It wasn't a good feeling and oh, the calm down hand was pushing him down again-neat!

"I am a little embarrassed that I am just now having this realization," Henry said as he began his second dreamarita. "It feels like something I should have recognized a long time ago."

Ian was now three dreamaritas in and beginning to see 5-D colors. "I wouldn't sweat it, it's probably because your consciousness was violently ripped apart and the resulting energy used to power a demon and now the million fragments of your soul are slowly beginning to piece themselves together and wait, how do I know this?"

"You know the answer."

"Ugh. Him."

"But you are probably correct."

"Orrrrrr, and just throwing this out there- none of this could be real and it's simply my brain trying to process the absolute shitshow of the last few years."

"Perhaps. I know that I, personally, do not feel very 'real' right now, which is also very disconcerting."

They sat. They drank their drinks. The goat was eating a seagull, an image that Ian was almost going to immediately throw on a storyboard for the next episode when he woke up.

"Why are you here? Doing this?" Ian finally asked.

"I don't have anything else better to do. Dipper won't listen to me."

Ian was not going to touch that with a ten foot pole but he went on. "That's not your vibe, that's what assholes like me say."

"I am trying to be witty, but that has never been my strong suit."

Which was why Ian wasn't going to point out that that had been nowhere near wit but-

"-I thought you could use someone to talk to, about all of this."

"Okay, but we already had this conversation and I am pretty sure you are not a licensed therapist."

"Very much not; I was a librarian."

"That tracks."

"So no, I am not a therapist. I certainly can't 'fix' you, nor do I have any intent on doing so."

That flare of anger again. "Okay, but my life would be considerably easier if my brain wasn't constantly trying to crash into the ocean and explode, so I'd rather like some fixing, thank you very much."

Henry held his hands up in supplication. "My apologies, I was trying to go for more 'we are defined by our life experiences.'" He looked down. I'm not always the best with.. talking to people. Understanding them. That was all-"

"Mira." Unbidden, her name out of his mouth.

"Her."

On Henry's arms, Ian could see dozens of little round scars, up and down. His hands clasped his mug, and Ian could see that two or three of his fingers were crooked.

Ian had a feeling why Henry had a hard time with people. It wasn't a good feeling.

"But look. One good talk won't fix everything forever. I think you could use someone to talk to about this a little more regularly. I don't know all of what you've been through, our experiences aren't a one to one comparison but, I get it. Really. And I know in retrospect, I should have talked to someone myself."

"Wait. I'm sorry, you didn't have a therapist? Or anything?"

It was disconcerting to see a middle aged man who could instantly obtain and wear the mantle of Death blush beet red.

Ian could see where this was going. "Henry did you ever talk to your wife about any of this?"

"A... a tiny bit, I think. I hope. But, I think I didn't want to burden her... which in and of itself created a burden on her. I trusted her, more than anything else in the world, but I... I couldn't talk to her."

Henry looked down at the drink in his hands. "It was always so much easier to talk here, than it was in the real world."

Control.

Ian thought about the control it took to keep the anger at bay, keep the temper cool, keep everything inside, at all times.

Control, that was more akin to a prison.

Aloud though, all Ian said was "Oof," because honestly he wasn't sure how to handle this level of honesty from a guy he was only talking to for the second time ever, also who was super dead.

"My apologies, I know that was a lot of- as my kids used to say- 'oversharing.' But I just dont want you to make the same mistakes I did."

A chill trickled down Ian's spine. "Um, I'm actually emotionally available and talk to my fiance like a real person, thank you very much. To say nothing of the multiple therapists I am currently seeing."

Henry ignored Ian's barbs and went on. "I know you talk to Mira-"

"How-"

"I can see inside you," Henry said, nonchalantly.

Not even magic airborne anxiety medicine would keep Ian's heart from immediately jackhammering in his chest, stop his temper from instantly snapping like a twig."

Ian's voice was low. "I am sick and TIRED of people, especially people I don't know, RUMMAGING inside of my head."

Henry was flushing but this time there were stormclouds in his face, which tough shit.

"It all comes down to BILL, always and forever, and apparently that's a legitimate reason to invade my privacy? In the most violating way possible?"

"That was certainly not my intention, could I please explain?"

Ian was standing up now, albeit wobbly because those dreamaritas were hitting hard, and looked out to the ocean beyond. He resisted the urge to dump a devastating one liner and began to wade out into the ocean. He'd just swim until he woke up, and then put "learn how to lucid dream" on his calendar so he could peace out right away next time this happened.

"Wait, Ian you should not go out in that water-"

Ian flipped him the bird and kept going.

"No, seriously, I think that's a rip tide-"

Suddenly, it felt like two hands grabbed Ian's ankles and pulled and now he was flying through the water, further and further from shore. He tried swimming sideways, but the not-hands on his ankles held on tighter and pulled him under."

It was a dream so obviously, Ian didn't need to breathe.

But

Everything around him was wine dark and suffocating. Underneath his feet was tens of thousand of feet of water and more than that was a deep crushing M A W, a great big stingray's mouth that sought out pray and sucked it in to crush it between it's two great grinding plates and he was drawing closer and closer and

Something else wrapped around his waist. Something... wood? It wrapped and it Pulled

And the maw and the wine dark sea and the bird eating goat and the beach were gone, all gone, and it was just him, and Henry, in a blank white space.

"I'm sorry, I tried to take you to my space but-"

For a second, everything flickered around Ian and he was in a forest but flicker again and it was the blank white room.

"-but I think that part of me is gone, right now."

"So. Thank you for saving me, but counterpoint, what the fuck was that murder beach?"

"I did not realize that her beach had.. not quite gotten a mind of its own. Say was akin to a machine left on way too long, running the same processes until it burns out-"

"And those processes are?"

"Eradicate intruders by destroying them, and dispersing their energy."

"And," Ian said after a long minute, "that was your daughter's mind."

"She was going through some things." Henry paused. "In retrospect, quite a lot of things."

Ian sat down, and Henry next to him.

"I don't- it's not on purpose, I promise."

Ian sighed. "I had a feeling. Honestly, you don't give off that kind of vibe. It's just-"

"You've been violated. Several times." There was an edge to Henry's voice and for a second the air around him smelt of blood and pine and wait, was he getting mad on Ian's behalf? Oh, that was... unexpected. But cool, thanks!

Henry closed his eyes, took a breath, and the air cleared. "I want to let you know I am not reading your mind-"

"Oh my stars, is that one theory that souls just watch the living like TV true? Because I got to tell you, I am deeply not sure how I feel about that existentially."

"No. I mean, kind of but-" radio static, again.

"I didn't catch any of that but I'm guessing no one is watching grandma go to the bathroom from the afterlife."

Henry shuddered. "Absolutely not. I can just..." He paused, clearly trying to think of a way to phrase it so that mortals could understand. Finally, he just reached out and gently tapped Ian's chest.

"I see that."

"Are you telling me you can see my heart? Because that is unimaginably corny."

"I can see that you are a good man, who loves and is loved in return."

For once, Ian had nothing to say.

The room began to dim, and Henry looked around. "I think you're starting to wake up."

"Oh, uh... okay."

There was an awkward pause, but finally, Ian extended an olive branch. "It feels like you still have more to say."

"I do."

"Then, I guess I'll see you around."

----

A pillow smacked into his face.

"Dude, why are you groaning so much?"

"Love you too, starshine."

"Seriously though, you practically woke yourself up. Weird dreams?"

Ian's brow crinkled. He couldn't remember anything but-

"Did I drink last night?"

"Um, unless you managed to do it in the 2 minutes we were apart before bed, no?"

"Huh. It's weird but I feel... hungover?"