#Also Tripitaka was a trooper this chapter

[pompomqt]

Journey to the West Chapter 53

Welcome back to this week's chapter of Journey to the West with @journeythroughjourneytothewest. And as you can probably see from this week's meme, it's *that* chapter this week. So lets get into it shall we?

We begin this chapter where we left off last time, with someone calling out to the Pilgrims. Turns out it's the local mountain gods, and they still have the rice Monkey left with them. They kept it warm and everything. Tripitaka is touched by this, and thanks Monkey, and even says that he should have listened to him and not left the circle. Monkey just says, that he's the one who suffered most for leaving the circle, because he then ended up in someone else's circle anyways. When Pigsy tries to ask what he means by that- Monkey just snaps back that he knows this whole situation was actually his fault. Which- agreed. Anyways Tripitaka say's he'll listen to him next time, but I think we all know that that promise isn't going to last long. Still the pilgrimage is able to have a nice meal together before setting off again on their journey.

Now that we have finally wrapped up last week's adventure, it's time for a new one, let's see what kind of mountain or river demon they have to deal with next. They travel for a bit without incident until spring arrives, and in return they arrive at a small idyllic stream. Surprisingly they don't even need to fight a demon this time to get across, they just call over the local ferryman, who actually turns out to be a ferry woman. Monkey tries to ask why a women is doing this job, but she just smiles mysteriously. That's not ominous at all. Either way however they get to the other side without incident.

They pay the ferry woman, however before they can move on, Tripitaka decides that the water looks very appetizing and asks Pigsy to get him some. Remember kids- don't drink water directly from rivers- especially if there is a village just a few paces away that you can get water from. However I guess this logic didn't exist back then, because Pigsy gets him some river water and also drinks some himself. After that Tripitaka once again mounts his horse and they continue on their way.

Half an hour into their journey though, Tripitaka and Pigsy start having terrible stomach aches, and their stomachs even start to swell. Since they can't continue on like this, Monkey stops at the local inn, and tells Tripitaka that he'll get him some hot liquid and ask if there is an apothecary around. So Monkey approaches the first friendly old lady he see's, and tells them about their situation. However once the old women hears that they drank from the river she starts laughing and even calls for others to come and see the latest town gossip.

Now as much as Monkey might appreciate some fun and games- he does not appreciate everyone poking and laughing at his master rather when there is something seriously wrong with him. So he grabs the old women and demands that she give them some hot water or else. The old women then shakily explains that boiled water won't help them now. As the old woman goes on to explain, they are in the country of women, where no men live. So when a woman wants to have a child, she drinks some water from the Child and Mother River... the very same river that Pigsy and Tripitaka drank from.

So Tripitaka and Pigsy start freaking out about the fact that they are pregnant, especially since they are both men and physically can't give birth. Meanwhile Sandy and Monkey make sure to crack some jokes at their expense. Anyways Tripitaka asks the old woman if she has any medicine that will fix this, and the old woman says that although typical drugs don't work on this type of pregnancy there is a way. They just have to go to Male-Undoing Mountain, and enter the Child Destruction Cave and drink water from the Abortion Stream. All real names I pulled directly from this translated book by the way, I am not making this up.

Unfortunately getting the water won't be so easy as simply going to the mountain since last year a daoist immortal named True Immortal Compliant moved into the cave and started charging exorbitant prices for even the smallest glass of water. Which will be impossible for monks like them to pay- or at least it would be if Monkey ever paid for anything in his life. So Monkey borrows a large porcelain bowl from the old woman who tells him to try and bring back as much as possible for emergency. Then after leaving Sandy in charge, Monkey takes off with his cloud somersault. This has the added effect of impressing old women so much, that she is sure to take extra care of Tripitaka in the meantime.

So Monkey arrives at the indicated mountain and spots the abby, and a young daoist hanging out outside of it. So Monkey politely greets the daoist, and explains why he's here. When the Doaist asks where all his offerings are, Monkey says they are monks so they don't have anything like that. The Daoist tries to shoo him away until he comes back with offerings, but Monkey insists that the Daoist should just tell his master that Sun Wukong is here to see if that will change his mind.

So the Daoist goes in and tells the immortal that a 'Sun Wukong' is here to get some abortion water. Unfortunately, saying this, seems to have worsened Monkey's case, since the Immortal comes storming out hook in hand and demands to know where this 'Sun Wukong' fellow is. Monkey claims the name, and even insists that he's the real Sun Wukong when the Immortal asks. Which fair enough- I'm not sure who would be crazy enough to try and pretend to be Sun Wukong. Well... maybe there is one person but that's a story for another day.

Anyways turns out that this immortal has a bone to pick with Sun Wukong- surprising I know. For once though this isn't about his rampage through heaven- it's actually about the 'Great King Holy Child' Aka Red boy. Aka, the Demon Bull King's son, who had the power of the true fire of Samadhi who is currently working for Guanyin. Anyways, turns out that that Red Boy is this Immortal's nephew, and he isn't to happy about what happened to Red Boy. Monkey tries to insist that working for Guanyin is a great position, while the Immortal argues that it's better to be a King then someone else's servant.

Anyways the two begin to fight, and Monkey is clearly the superior fighter. So soon enough the Daoist retreats back into his Abby. Rather then chasing him down to try and attack him again, Monkey just heads to the well, only to see that the Daoist is guarding it. And while the Daoist can't beat Monkey in a fair fight, he seems perfectly capable of preventing him from drawing water from the well. After some back and forth, Monkey ends up fumbling the bucket and dropping it into the well. Since plan A failed, Monkey decides it's time for Plan B, aka get someone else to get the well water while he distracts the immortal.

So Monkey leaves to go get Sandy, and comes back to the village to find Tripitaka and Pigsy still groaning in pain. Sandy asks if Monkey was able to get the water, and Monkey explains the situation, and that he came back to have Sandy help him. Tripitaka is a bit worried about both Monkey and Sandy leaving while him and Pigsy are so indisposed, but the old women assures him that she will take good care of them, and won't hurt them. While Monkey wonders how any of these old ladies even could harm them- the old woman explains that while she and her cohorts are to old to be interested in men anymore- the same doesn't go for the younger ladies. Who would probably rip them apart in their eagerness. And on that ominous note- they borrow a bucket and some rope from the old lady before heading off again.

Once they arrive back at the mountain, Monkey tells Sandy to hide himself until Monkey provokes battle, and once the Immortal is sufficiently distracted, Sandy can grab the water. Plan in place, Monkey approaches the door and demands that the immortal open up. The Immortal isn't to eager to fight Monkey after Monkey kicked his ass last time, but his Doaist follower hypes him up, saying that Monkey may be able to win in a straight fight, but the Immortal was able to keep him from the well. So that means they are completely evenly matched!

Now filled with unearned confidence the Immortal goes out to fight Monkey again. While those two duke it out, Sandy heads for the well, but is stopped by the young Daoist. However Sandy doesn't play no games, and when the Daoist tries to stop him, Sandy breaks his arm. Better that then his neck I guess. With no one left to stop him, Sandy successfully draws water from the well. After that he calls to Monkey and tells him that they've got the water, so he can stop pretending that his is anything close to a fair fight now.

So Monkey says he'll spare the demon for the Bull Demon King's sake, as long as he stops blackmailing the women here out of their water. However I guess Monkey didn't kick his ass hard enough, because the Immortal tries to use his hook to swipe Monkey's legs again, only for Monkey to take the hook and break it into four pieces. Now that the immortal has been thoroughly beaten, Monkey and Sandy take their leave.

So Monkey and Sandy return, and the old woman is delighted with how much water they've brought back. Pigsy threatens to drink the whole bucket of course, but the old woman says that if he does that his intestines will probably dissolve. Which is enough to convince even Pigsy to stick to the recommended dose. So Tripitaka and Pigsy both drink some of the water- and after they... ahem... 'evacuate their bowls' the two are no longer pregnant. After that the old woman is kind enough to prepare a bath and dinner for them, and asks that Monkey leave the rest of the water with her. Since apparently the cost of the water will be enough to pay for her funeral expenses. Fun. And on that note it is once again time for the pilgrims to continue on their Journey to the West.

Current Sun Wukong Stats: Names/Titles: Monkey, The Stone Monkey, The Handsome Monkey King, Sun Wukong (Monkey awakened to the void), Bimawen (Banhorseplague), The Great Sage Equal To Heaven and Pilgrim Sun. Immortality: 5 + 94,000 years Weapon: The Compliant Golden Hooped Rod Abilities: 72 Transformations, Cloud-Somersault, Ability to transform his individual hairs, super strength, Ability to Summon Wind, Water restriction charm, and the ability to change into a huge war form, ability to duplicate his staff, ability to immobilize others, the ability to put others to sleep, and the Fiery eyes and Diamond Pupils, intimidating horses, churning large bodies of water, sleeplessness, seizing the wind, enhanced smell, discerning good and evil within a thousand miles, Spirit Summoning, lock picking, object transformation, distance reduction, vanishing in a flash of light, super healing, transforming others, and Invisibility Demon Kill Count: 9+ Unknown Number of Minions Human Kill Count: 1009 God's Defeated: 23 + Unknown number Defeats: 6 Crime List: Robbery, Murder, Mass Murder, Arson, Theft, Coercion, Threatening a Government Official, Resisting Arrest, Assault, Forgery, Employee Theft, False Imprisonment, Impersonating a Government Official, Treason, attempted murder, failure to control or report a dangerous fire, desecrating a corpse, breaking and entering, trespassing, violating Tree Law, looting corpses, trading counterfeit goods, criminal threat, animal abuse, Assisting or Instigating Escape, Damage to Religious Property, contaminating a substance for human consumption and Identity Fraud. Cry Count: 8 + 3 fake cries Mountains Trapped Under: 4

Current Tang Sanzang stats: Names/Titles: River Float, Xuanzang, Tang Sanzang, Tripitaka and the Tang Monk Abilities: Curing Blindness, making branches point a certain direction (allegedly), reciting sutras, pretty privilege, memorization, Heart Sutra and Meditation. Cry Count: 27 Tight Fillet Spell Uses: 31 Paralyzed by fear: 5 Bandit Problems: 2 Kidnapped by demons: 8 Falling Off Horses: 8

Current Bai Long Ma Stats: Names/Titles: Bai Long Ma (White Dragon Horse), Prince of the Western Ocean, and third prince jade dragon of the dragon king Aorun Abilities: Transforming into a human, a water snake, and a horse, eating a horse in one bite, flight, Magic of Water Restriction, Singing, and Sword Dancing. Cry Count: 1 Crime List: Arson, and Grave Disobedience. Contributions to the plot: 2 Kidnapped by demons: 1

Current Zhu Wuneng Stats: Names/Titles: The Marshal of the Heavenly Reeds, Zhu Wuneng (Pig who is aware of ability), Zhu Ganglie, Pigsy, Idiot and Eight Rules. Weapon: Rake Abilities: 36 Transformations, parting water, fighting underwater, cloud soaring, size enhancement and CPR Demon Kill Count/Kill steals: 2 Kidnapped by Demons: 4 Human Kill Count: 1 Failed Flirtation/romances Attempts: 3 Cry Count: 2 Crime List: Sexual Harassment, Murder, Kidnapping, arson, defamation, Damage to Religious Property, contaminating a substance for human consumption, Identity Fraud and Theft

Current Sha Wujing Stats: Names/Titles: The Curtain-Raising General, Sha Wujing (Sand Aware of Purity), Sandy and Sha Monk Weapon: Monster Taming Staff Abilities: Fighting underwater, Cloud soaring, and fetching water from a well. Demon Kill Count: Unknown number of minions. Kidnapped by Demons: 3 Human Kill Count: 1 Crime List: Breaking a Crystal Cup, murder, desecration of a human corpse, Damage to Religious Property and contaminating a substance for human consumption