#we don't actually know if House did kill himself after Wilson dies

[croatoancassiel]

hiiiii!!! heres a little ramble about my OSDID house headcanon because someone wanted me to elaborate and i just adore talking about it!! i just wanted to say, before i start going off, that this is a headcanon, a lot of these traits are due to his substance abuse and i know that logically he does not have OSDID. this is just things he does that we find relatable as we struggle with DID and relate heavily to house!! goshhh hes just so me frfr i cant take it☹️💔

teensy trigger warning for childhood abuse!!alrighty first of all he has MAJOR childhood trauma that clearly started at a very young age. he had an abusive father and a mother who did nothing to call off or stop that abuse and it went on from is childhood to his adulthood. it was so bad that house for real hated the guy, even when he died, despite being upset at his death. thats a deep hatred i fear.. like you don't hate someone like that for no reason even if you're house. ALSO a little off topic but i think his intelligence stems from his childhood abuse because in the episode where wilson and him are going to his father's funeral, house tells wilson that at like the age of 12 house figured out that his father was not his biodad. i think the puzzles being a distraction for house started there. and house knowing that his father, who caused him so much trauma from the start, wasn't actually his biological father gave him an excuse to separate himself from him which is something we have done so gah relatable?? the puzzles to me and how he figures them out is also kind of a dissociative thing? it distracted his childmind from the trauma as it was happening and it distracts him from pain in the future. also just that episode where he's hallucinating amber and he unfocused yeah THAT was for sure dissociation.

SPEAKING OF AMBER!! whenever house hallucinates amber it seems different to how any other hallucination is portrayed in the show and maybe thats just me nitpicking but she strays from her alive self and house himself (despite being his subconscious) while staying consisted each time it happens, but other hallucinations kinda don't? its like shes a whole other person. im backing this up with how house blames her for trying to kill chase when shes meant to be his subconscious. he blames amber, as if amber did it and not him even after acknowledging she was him. which yeah could be a denial thing we all know house loooovvves denial. plus while alters/parts are not other people, they can differentiate from others and their source. actually its very common for parts to differentiate!! its also very common to hallucinate or see different parts when they're co-conscious! anyway i do think hallucination amber AND hallucination kutner can be seen as parts as well as hallucinations cause thats just what they come across as to me!! and their coming about would make sense because both showed up after house was faced with a big traumatic event. a lot of the times when a big traumatic event happens house's personality shifts too, and im not saying thats not normal, it is especially when going through greif but again its just relatable!! anyways amber and kutner's deaths were so big to him and his mind and body take it as such. its a huge dissociative time for him too and that shows IN THE SHOW. again we see it during s5 when he's hallucinating amber sometime after kutner's death and everything gets gray and foggy, his team's voices muffle and he hones in on one thing barely. that was a very close portrayal of dissociation to me.

"house's head" and "wilson's heart" to me is a great portrayal of memory loss after a traumatic event. now i know that in the show house's amnesia is caused by the bus crash okay but hush im projecting🙁!! in OSDID amnesia is a big thing in many types of the disorder, we personally have bad amnesia and memory loss, especially after traumatic events and house trying to recollect all his memories again after the crash was just really relatable to us. also the way he replaced amber with another woman that represented her in his mind... yeah that was either a false memory or a split from the trauma either way it was crazy relatable

okay i hope that was a good elaboration im SUPER shit at putting my thoughts into words i apologize!! again this is just a headcanon and i know that logically all these symptoms and traits have different reasonings in the show im just having fun and projecting my disorder onto the stinky old doctor whom i love okay thank you goodnight

[castrovulcant]

[Image description: meme from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." Two men stand next to each other and squint suspiciously at someone in the foreground and say: "That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about House to dispute it." /end image description]

i love how many ships there are featuring murders, cannibals, supervillians, w/e that nevertheless fail to hold a problematic candle to house/wilson. I mean like there are characters who have stabbed one another who have a healthier “thing” going on than those two. i don’t think about them often but I see a gifset and I’m like WOW remember the time when house——-

[rogue-barnes-16]

THE DISAPPEARANCE OF NATASHA ROMANOFF (part I/?)

Summary: after the too convenient disappearance of Natasha Romanoff, the Avengers —a local biker gang— search for help in the most unexpected place in order to get their friend back.

Pairing: biker!Bucky Barnes x reader

Genre: unclassified (biker gang au)

Tags:

The mysterious disappearance of Natasha Romanoff: @shirukitsune

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @1a-girl-has-no-name1 @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: language

A/N: consider this a sneak peek of a series I'm planning on writing when I finish one of the ongoing ones. The title is long af so I might change it. Also, sorry for the typos but y'all probably know that I'm a mess

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

BUCKY'S P. O. V.

A sigh escaped my lips as my leg furiously bounced against the pavement of the parking lot "she ain't gonna help"

"we gotta give it a try" Steve whispered, ogling at the tall skyscraper's entrance, which was illuminated with fancy lanterns that matched the aesthetic of the building itself. "you never know. Plus-"

"I shouldn't have come." I mumbled with a light distress showing up in my voice "the moment she sees me she'll turn around and leave"

"she won't" my bestfriend answered, determined.

"Steve-"

"If we tell her it's not for you-"

"Still-"

The sound of the not so far building's gate opening, was enough to cut me midsentence. And... there she went.

"can't you just cancel it? Tomorrow I-- no Wanda- gosh, he's tiring. Just tell him... yeah" she made her way to her car, unaware of our presence besides it yet, probably due to the poor lighting.

So much money, and yet the wealthy company couldn't improve the goddamn streetlights of its own parking lot.

"Friday? Geez no-- No. Period. Just-" her walking slowed down the moment she saw us. "you know what? Friday it's okay. Goodnight Wan." even before hanging up, she was already glaring at me. "James."

"Y/n" I replied, just because I didn't know what else I could say.

She inhaled before speaking again. "you got some balls." her eyes flashed briefly to Steve. "what the fuck are you two doing here?"

"we need help" I stated, quieter that I would have liked.

She huffed " 'course you do." relocating her bag. "look for help somewhere else." her eyes digged into mines, throwing daggers at me.

And, God, did it hurt. "told you" I grunted in low voice to Steve, already turning around to leave. "She's not helping."

I felt a grip on my arm, stopping me from stalking away. "Y/n, this is not about him"

"I don't give a single fuck." she hissed, walking to her car to open it. "you promised to stay away from me, and you're not doing a good job"

"it's Natasha" Steve blurted out before she could get in the vehicle.

Y/n froze at the mention of her.

"what 'bout her?" she tried to sound careless and cool, but I noticed the switch in her body language.

"she... Disappeared" the blond man spoke, putting emphasis on the last word.

Y/n frowned, her eyes going from me, to Steve, and back to me. "Go to the police"

"you know we can't" this time it was my turn to answer. "You're the only one who can help us, you know that. If you weren't, I wouldn't be here." I stated solemnly. "I keep my promises, you know that."

There was a moment of silence, in which she glared at me with hate in her eyes that masked the pain, I knew, was there. "actually, no, James. I can't recall a single time when you kept your promise, so I don't." and I knew she meant every word. "you got plenty of friends, go look for their help and leave me the fuck alone."

SHUT!

We stood there while she drove away, and I would have been lying if I said I was shocked she left.

I spared a glance at Steve, who was running his fingers through his hair, visibly distressed. "what te fuck do we do now?"

It was only after Steve spoke, that it dawned on me we had no other option to have a chance of getting Natasha back.

"we gotta look for someone else"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Old folders displayed everywhere, empty boxes of Chinese food that Sam bought covered the coffee table, and we all needed a shower.

"we should call Tony" Clint spoke distractedly.

"No we shouldn't" Steve rushed to reply while he tidied up some of the papers. "he's retired"

"Natasha dissappeared, Stevie" Clint's reminder didn't exactly help the moral of the group.

Steve sighed, pinching his nose before shaking his head. "Pepper would kill me." after looking at us for a second, he kept speaking in a hesitant tone "I'll call him if plan A fails"

"plan A?" I questioned, raising and eyebrow. "Plan A failed when Natasha dissappeared" I stated.

"well, then when plan B-"

"Y/n was plan B" Sam yawned, slowly sitting up in the tiny couch where he had fallen asleep "which would have worked if you had listened to Bucky" Sam yawned again, right before stirring "taking him with you, when we needed Y/n, was like- the stupidest idea you had in a while."

Steve took a deep breath before letting out a comeback that would probably cause a fight. "who else we got?"

"No one." Clint almost growled more than spoke.

Out of everyone, he was the most affected by far. Natasha and Clint had grown up together, and the fact that we barely could trust our close friends to get her back was exhausting as well as frustrating.

"think I'm just gonna take a shower" Barton informed us in a mumble before leaving his seat to walk out of the room.

"there's someone" Rhodey's voice made all of us redirect our eyes to the door connecting my kitchen to my living room. "Danvers"

Sam shook his head no "We have no way of contacting her"

Rhodey sighed, exhausted, throwing himself in the chair Clint had just left. "I can contact Rambeau. She'll know where Danvers is"

"She ain't gonna help" It was my turn to contribute with some bad news, not that new, of which none of them were aware. "she knows 'bout what happened with Y/n."

Silence was the answer I got.

Rhodes scoffed "Good to know, James." I kept my eyes trained in my hands, not wanting to face anyone in the room. "Really good to know about this tiny detail after- what? A year?"

Another scoff and more silence.

"let me go through it again" Sam rubbed his temples with closed eyes. "Nat dissappeared, we probably have a mole, and the two people we could use help for" I felt his eyes on me "they won't help." no one spoke. "we're fucked."

We all drowned in our thoughts for a while.

Clint, at some point, had come back. Someone told him we had run out of options, which made him leave. He didn't come back, and I figured he probably fell asleep in my room.

Sun was rising, and, in need of a break, I got up. I really could use some air.

In no time I was standing on my ramshackle balcony, leaned over the railing with both my forearms supporting me.

Sam, who had probably came after me, exited and, after installing himself besides me, he spoke "it's not your fault"

"cut the bullshit"

"okay, it is"

"No shit Sherlock"

He sighed "but not entirely, so don't beat--"

"If she dies" I whispered, my gaze lost on the horizon "it's on me. Like- it's actually on me"

"she's not gonna die" Sam dismissed me quicker than he would have liked. "She's smart, and she's only been missing for around a day and a half "

"Listen, no one said it out loud but we gotta consider it." I blurted out, turning around to face my friend. "if they took her, they'll interrogate her. Do you really think she'll give in?"

"I didn't say that"

"then you know she can end up in a ditch"

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "don't say any of this shit in front of Clint"

"I'm not stupid"

He let out a sarcastic chuckle, shaking his head. "yeah, of course you're not." Sam tilted his head slightly towards me without looking. "remind me again why Y/n ditched you."

"Fuck off Wilson." my voice was low, full of anger and frustration and sadness; bottled up emotions that I carried with me since Y/n left.

Bottled up emotions that came to torture me for what I did whenever I heard her name.

We saw a car.

Sam was the first one to point it out.

Not the fact that a car was driving towards a single property in the middle nowhere, hidden with the help of the trees in the woods.

No, Sam was pointing out what car it was.

"it's... Her car?" He sounded incredulous, hesitant, and even suspicious, but I couldn't blame him.

"it is." I confirmed.

And, even though I was sure it was her car, I couldn't believe it until, after parking in front of the house, she climbed off.

She made her way to the porch's stairs. "I'll... Go and tell the others." Sam informed me. "Open the door"

I sighed and slowly made my way downstairs and to the front door just in time to hear the knocks.

I grabbed the knob, but before spinning it, I froze.

I froze because I shouldn't be me opening the door, it shouldn't be me the first person she sees, the first person she made contact with. I shouldn't be me welcoming her, even if it was my home, because I didn't deserve-

"Open the fucking door, James."

And I did, though the movement was way too eager for my liking.

But it was too eager because it was Y/n requesting me to do it, as if she wanted to see me.

I had complied and now we were standing in front of one another. My first thought was to step aside, since I thought she would try to walk past me as soon as possible, but she didn't.

She stood there, looking at me.

"Thought you said no" even though it was quiet, almost a mumble, it was definitely not a great sentence to begin a conversation in such a delicate situation.

Surprisingly, her voice sounded way warmer than I was expecting when she replied to my unfortunate comment. "I made up my mind" thankfully, she kept talking, because I had no idea what to answer. "Nat's my friend too. I'll help."