#we do not discuss my 100+ layers...
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yurissweettooth · 2 years ago
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My Typical Art Process✨🌈
Was gonna reply to anon with this, but figured it was a bit too unrelated so I'll make a separate post! I do kinda wanna share my process anyway for anyone curious. I made something similar for twitter once but I no longer use twitter and my style has changed since then so here's a new one!
Tl;dr I draw for fun only and I have learned that textures and overlays and post-processing can do a LOT when it comes to making something look more "complete" while also not taking a lot of additional time. This is just my personal style spawned from my laziness and my love of harsh colors😆
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I'll put it below the cut because it's long!
So to begin with, when I doodle (as opposed to a proper drawing that I take my time on) this is my typical "lineart":
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I just draw the… what do you call it? The under parts… Like the circle and shapes, etc. to get the pose. Then lower the opacity and do another sketch on top of that. Then I lower the opacity of that and do ANOTHER sketch on top. 😆 I do that as many times as necessary until it looks like something. I don't worry a ton about anatomy or messiness or stray lines, it's just for fun to get an idea out of my head :)
Sometimes I also leave the under-sketches in or sometimes I turn the layer off. For this one I left them in.
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Then I turn on all my textures, overlays, and H/S/L correction layer and crank the saturation up. The selected colorful layer was something I made once and saved it as an image material so I can just slap it on any time as an overlay. You will see it in almost all of my art, she's my beloved crutch and also I just like it lol. Other than that, I sometimes use paper textures that CPS came with and sometimes I make a perlin noise layer with the smallest grain size and set it to 'soft light'.
I also have recently been using a manga screentone overlay that comes with CSP.
Then I start coloring underneath!
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This is how it looks without all of the blinding colors and textures I put there to distract you from the mess lol
Even in ones where I DO put in effort and try to use better anatomy and clean up a lot of the scribbles I pretty much never use clean lineart simply because I cannot be bothered 🤷🏾‍♂️ I don't really do anything different here, I just spend more time one it:
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Also, even then the overlays and textures do a lot of the heavy lifting. Some of the overlays and effects I draw myself like the rainbow boarders around them and of course the doodle hearts. I don't draw backgrounds very often but I don't like an empty background so overlays or little doodles or text effects typically go there.
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I should also mentions that I use the lightroom mobile app to further enhance all of my art, as shown above in the before and afters. I don't really have much to say on this point. I used to use lightroom mobile a lot when I did doll photography and I pretty much just wing it based on what I learned doing that. I like to mess with the texture settings and do masking edits to change the foreground and background independently to get better color balances. Like a bozo I pay for the subscription but I bet you could use any old editing app.
Oh, and I do pretty much everything with these brushes here. I got them a while back when they were free for 48 hours but unfortunately they are no longer free and cost 80 clippy now :( Should also warn you that they saturate any color and idk how to stop it from doing that so I just adjust the color accordingly before using or edit in post. Very nice though!!
Some other (free) things I like and use a lot:
Warm color set
Watercolor paper texture (free)
Cloud brushes
Watercolor auto action
Real paper textures
Prism brushes
Freckle brush
Aaaaand that's basically it!
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confinesofmy · 9 months ago
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i'm planning next week's picnic like if one thing goes wrong i'll be publicly beheaded. i'm locked in to such an absurd degree.
#also never shopping in my nearest town again maybe#i saw my cousin's ex who lives an hour away and her friend together which is so....... like wow i really thought i'd seen the last of him#very messy situation#started talking to a cashier/stocker i've spoken with on occasion for several years and she showed me some of her art & poetry (???)#got in line in front of one of my former classmate's dads who tried to proposition me right after my mom died#went to the new dollar store which has four self checkouts & one manned‚ tried to use a self checkout and the cashier said#'we don't have self checkouts' i said 'do you mean today or period' she said 'period' and we discussed how badly that's got them fucked up#they're literally running one of the self checkouts as a manned checkout when things get busy like...#and it was JUST built!! like just less than a year ago i think#i always come home from that town wanting to pull my hair out it's sooo strange!! like everything is craaazy#i also got fucking scammed!#i forgot to check until just now but the grocery store likes to run a weekly sale then not update the computers to reflect it#like they've done this for years and years#and i paid $1.99/lb for apples that were marked down to $1.12/lb so i overpaid a damn dollar#during the panini when it was my only source of groceries sometimes the difference would literally be like $50 because of big ticket items#i'd usually walk out‚ unload and read the receipt‚ then walk back in and get my refund. every friday.#and if i didn't i'd be out like $100/month for nothing on top of everything costing double what it did in the city#that place is fucking cursed. like there's just layers and layers of misery covering every surface.#adam yaps
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fordtato · 6 months ago
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Alex Hirsch will imply or say through text and subtext of books about FiddAuthor and BillFord, while Dan Povenmire and Swampy Marsh will just have Perryshmirtz moments on Chibi shorts and tiktoks... and you know, sometimes I'm glad I get to live in this world. (I made this weird train of thought connection through the ending joke in Bill's interview in the book.)
SPOILERS: Look, no matter how one feels about it, Hirsch used terminology associated with romance and breakups throughout nearly every interaction between Ford and Bill. "Attracted-to," "will-they-won't-they," "were we even partners?," starting a conversation after a fight with "Can we talk?", calling Fiddleford a "third wheel," etc. - THESE ARE QUOTES.
Also, Bill uses language that is INCREDIBLY tied to abusive relationships when talking to Ford: "who else will make you feel like this?" etc.
Hell, Bill goes on a drunken bender after the breakup. Mabel calls Ford Bill's ex, and tells him to "get over" her Grunkle.
I've seen some discussion on the timeline on whether or not it's problematic to make BillFord canon and my thoughts are: this book DEPICTING an abusive pairing (or at least using language that echoes an abusive relationship), and then framing it through the lens of an unreliable abusive narrator is not the same thing as glorifying, romanticizing, or supporting the pairing. The people reading this recognize that Bill is a villain and not to be trusted, you know? It isn't even shades of grey, it's 100% depicted as the most ruinous thing in Ford's life. Hell, I think it's just very compelling writing. I love this. I think it's so interesting. Books should be able to tackle this.
And then the Fiddauthor fodder. The FIDDFODDER. He handmakes Ford two xmas presents, and makes nothing for Emma-May??? HE COMES BACK FOR FORD AFTER HIS FIGHT WITH HIS WIFE? AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES IN COLLEGE? AND FIDDS MADE 5 PROTOTYPES TO HANDKNIT FORD GLOVES??
The book also has a reference to Ford possibly being ace. Ford has nightmares about a pop quiz asking him what he's attracted to. He answers "planning and preparation." So, I have layered feelings about these tongue-in-cheek references to asexuality without just SAYING asexuality, you know? Like when it's wrapped in a joke, I think it affects how meaningful it is, but I'm not ace, so it's up to ace people to decide how they feel about this. But I do think it's interesting.
At the very least, this book adds queer undertones to the way Ford and Bill interact. Book of Bill gave more queer undertones in the TEXT, not just subtext, to how Ford interacts with others, and while that experience is translated through an abusive relationship, it's still there.
Y'all, this man is queer. I can't believe I'm not seeing everyone talking about this. Ford is queer. I don't know how to define his relationship with Bill Cipher, but it isn't straight.
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haruka-vii · 2 months ago
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Help request to Rayman and retrogaming fans
Unfortunately, as much as I’m making efforts in solving my long-term unemployment situation there are things out of my control and I reached a point I really, really, need help.
Besides my grandma’s recent passing, there’s been a collection of unlucky events happening to me and my family in a small time interval. Both our dish washing machine and my Nintendo Switch Lite need to be repaired. The console stopped turning on regardless what I do and it’s out of warranty already. The console’s fixing, alone, can be up to 103€ according to the Iberian Nintendo support page).
But the worst case was our car’s “death”. Days after my grandma’s funeral, the car burnt its electronic system to the point of replacing that system being more expensive than the current value of the car of the same model without problems, meaning we were forced to replace the whole vehicle to a different model. The car is essential for our quotidian lives even for simple things such as doing groceries and buying food and cat litter for our seven small felines that we own. The latter unpredictable expense is very costly and adds a bigger layer of problems on my family’s end about financial management given that my mother is also jobless and there’s the bed replacement (done in January 2024) funds I want to also return to her whenever I manage.
2025 is going to be a difficult year for me and I already recently had to shrink down my Crash Bandicoot collection to a single item for a start but it’s still not enough. Now I had to make a very difficult decision of selecting personal items from my private Rayman collection and make them available to anyone in the Rayman and retrogaming fan community to be able to purchase in case they show interest in any particular object.
Please note the following details:
Products that are shown alongside with other product or more in the same photograph square means that those items are only sold as a pack/batch and not separately. I can clarify which ones by DM if you aren’t sure through the photographs.
I ship to most countries in the world, and always with tracking code so we’re both able to know its whereabouts. I won’t accept other types of shipping due to safety reasons.
The shipping address and other sensitive information will be exclusively used to ship the parcel.
Prices will be always discussed by DM, as well shipping costs as these vary depending on the destination country and parcel weight.
PayPal only for payments. While I prefer EUR currency I can also accept GBP and USD.
I’m conscious of how a good portion of the list contains particularly rare and valuable collectibles.
Some items prices are negotiable, especially if someone is interested in acquiring at least 3 different items or more that combined make up a significant total.
All items work 100%, including the Playstation accessories.
The Rayman memory card will be formatted if it gets a new onwer.
MS-DOS era games require emulation techniques to work on modern computers and there are community projects like Rayman Control Panel that help with that.
All games are complete in the box and between very good condition to like new.
The Rayman memory card is in good overall state.
The statues are like new and will be packed carefully to avoid transportation damage.
I can consider including the matching Switch videogame to the pack if I get a fair offer.
I reserve the right to not accept a sale for reasons not mentioned here.
List of items available in the photos:
Rayman Gold [PC/MS-DOS] (Rare, Original Big Boxed United Kingdom Edition)
Rayman For Ever [PC/MS-DOS] (Rare, Original Big Boxed France Edition, it even includes a Ubisoft catalogue with unique Rayman drawings)
Quick CD-ROM Demo Nº2 - Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc [PC/Windows]
Rayman M [PC/Windows] (United Kingdom Edition, still factory sealed!)
Rayman Rush [Sony PlayStation] + DualShock Controller [Sony PlayStation]
Rayman 2: The Great Escape [PC/Windows] (Very rare, Original Big Boxed United States of America Edition; I only saw maybe not more than 2 copies like this for sale online in over 15 years)
Rayman 100 Niveaux Inédits [PC/Windows] (Rare, Original Big Boxed France Edition)
Rayman Designer [PC/Windows] (Rare, Original Big Boxed France Edition)
Rayman 1 [PC/Windows] (Rare, Original Big Boxed European Edition)
Rayman Gold [PC/Windows] (Rare, Original Big Boxed France Edition)
Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc [PC/Windows] (The manual is translated in Portuguese but the games are in multilanguage)
Rayman 2: The Great Escape Sony Playstation Memory Card (Guillemot brand, uncommon item)
Rayman Raving Rabbids [PC/Windows] (Original United Kingdom Edition)
Rayman Raving Rabbids Activity Centre [PC/Windows] (Original United Kingdom Edition)
Rayman 2: The Great Escape [Sony Playstation] (Original France and Germany Edition)
Full collection of 4 medium-sized PVC statues of Mario+Rabbids: Kingdom Battle characters
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Other alternative ways to help me that don’t involve buying my Rayman items:
Ko-Fi donations (https://ko-fi.com/haruka_vii)
Currently opened with the goal I’ve referred earlier of collecting enough funds of the bed replacement expenses to return to my mother combined with the needed funds to be able to send my Nintendo Switch Lite for repair.
Art commissions
I can open a limited number of slots and draw single or groups of characters in a single digital or traditional drawing. Details can be discussed through DM!
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Reblogging and sharing
If you know anyone who could be potentially interested in getting anything please share them, it’s also a help!
I don’t like to ask help but it’s been a rough timeline for me. Thank you for reading in advance, any help is greatly appreciated while I don’t manage to find a job. 🙏
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jmdbjk · 5 months ago
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No hurricanes.
We have 4 days left in August but it looks like there will be no hurricanes for us. We are typically waiting for one to arrive about this time every August. Definitely a welcome calm because there was already too much shit packed into this past month as it was so thank you to Mother Nature for not adding that extra layer of a shit show.
That being said, there is always next week for a hurricane. We wait. In the meantime, Episode 5 of Are You Sure? drops after I go to sleep tomorrow night.
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Namjoon has been active on his IG account, he just tweaked his bio, changing the title "right place, wrong person" to all lowercase. We are holding the ship on a steady course, Captain. Seas are rough but we see the signals.
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In case you didn't know, Miss Karma came back from her vacation. As of today, Min Hee Jin has been terminated as CEO of Ador.
She is being given the choice of remaining as director/producer for NewJeans but all of her stock options and whatever went poof. Good luck bitch, fighting your sexual harassment lawsuits without your CEO salary or perks. On your way out, please fumigate your office and leave the keys with the security team.
In other news, Billboard executives meeting this week to discuss major changes to Billboard Hot 100 and minor changes to Billboard 200. Can't wait to hear what this new round of fresh hell will be.
Also, Billboard having an event in Seoul to fiNd ThE nExT BTS!
Ya know... after all this time... how has no one ever realized its not the NEXT BTS anyone needs to be searching for? Yes, to the part about finding an authentic artist who can craft their own (really good) songs with lyrics that resonate. But the real key they need to find is...
... the next FANDOM that is like Army. Globally diverse from different walks of life including young, old and in-between. Loyal, loving, smart, organized, even if at times we seem to struggle to come together.
If an artist can cultivate a relationship with their fandom which consists of mutual respect and trust between them only THEN can the artist do anything, be anything, even untouchable. Hasn't anyone been listening at all? BTS has been saying for years they couldn't do anything... wouldn't be where they are... would have no reason to exist WITHOUT ARMY.
Seriously shaking my damn head. No one listens. No one.
Some other random things that are constantly doing a hit n'run inside my head...
I hope Jimin’s time with Dior menswear is finished because good lawd that shit is fugly. No. Just no:
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It looks like an outfit they would be forced to wear as a penalty for losing a Run BTS game. Isn't that the same way Koreans tie up what they call a "lamb head" towel around their head to go in the public baths?
I haven’t talked about Jin at all this month. Shame on me.
He's been very very busy endearing himself not only to Army but to middle-aged men, women, kids, moms, future spouses, actors, idols, foodies, gamers, fishermen, grandmas, grandpas, the world.
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Hobi will be coming home in 49(?) days!
Jimin and Jungkook are sending off their fellow soldiers with autographs as they are discharged. I guess it is somewhat comforting to read these simple messages they write to their departing comrades. It's all we have for now. I hope they are doing ok way out there in the boonies. 9 months and 15 days left.
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zcinderone · 4 months ago
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An ironically conspicuous yet never exploited(except by me as far as I can see) dot that connects everything which could be the ultimate layer of secret to unravel the true identity of Arei's murderer...
It's Levi and this is where the final piece of puzzle comes to make sense of itself: the Monotv recruiting Teruko do CAULKING scene!!!
This is such a detailed and prominant plot that so far made 0 sense as to its connection to the case. Monotv must have enlisted a helper to clean up the mess left in the gym. Since he can't even do caulking, it is 100% valid for the narrative that there are something in this mess he can't handle. This helper would have abundance of time to figure out the mechanism and took the tape. (whereas both Ace and Eden only had cursory glances at the scene also in a rather shocking and intense scenario to figure out how Nico's mystrious setup worked)
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(Monotv specifically mentioning he needs help to do certain chores)
Apart from the 4 involved in Ace's case, the only one awake/available late at night was Levi(and we never know for what purpose the story writer specifically left only him awake and readily came out to check the commotion either). This connects everything.
Think about it rationally. It makes absolutely no sense for those involved in the previous case to make an imitation of their own. On paper, only 4 people knew what happened, and Nico ran off leaving the only necessary tool(tape) to replicate this. Should any of the 3 try to imitate a crime only they knew and able to replicate, they are basically yelling they're the only targets from the get-go (and isn't this what's happening right now?)which is beyond absurd. However, if a third party does exist, it changes everything, they would have everything to gain from pulling an imitation since the premise would exclude their possibility permanently.
Based on the aforementioned points, I will make a tentative prediction about one event we are likely gonna see in ep 15(or 16 depending on pacing): A scrum debate will happen soon, concerning whether or not Ace&Eden really is the only option scope for imitation crime, for they will most certainly discuss the very reason why they imitate and promptly realized the absurdity thereof. The narrative would seem really off if they don't dabble on why, accepting imitation for the sake of imitation. Some will take the stance that such attempt would be illogical for a rational conspirator in the first place, others will insist on the lack of direct evidence of a third party.
(I just realized the dev could've intentionally let Ace kick the tape out of sight because they have much greater incentive to do so but it's very close to premiere so I won't elaborate since either way my theory itself is the same)I am basing this theory on the assumption that the tape went missing under the dialogue box cg is dev's mistake, because the tape on the ground scene always includes Ace on the ground and the moment he stood it changed which feels too abrupt and dev might just forgot to add that, and there is not a single scene that showed the tape missing without such blockade.
More importantly, there were some clues to back my assumption in the "i'm not fxxing dead!" scene. The tape is placed rather near in front of Ace, a little to our right. Yet, when he stood up he knocked Eden out to our left. It would seem shaky if we take this alone by face value as it could just be a dramatic effect, but what happened afterward is the camera itself clearly turned left to film Eden gradually standing, and turned right to focus on Ace and then turned further right to focus on Teruko, which clearly suggested the actual positioning is: Eden Ace (tape?) Teruko (tape ?) . Problem is, the tape still exitsted right before, and went missing right after Ace stood up under the Teruko "yeah i figured" dialogue box, few secs before Eden stood up, therefore her positioning would exclude her possibility of getting it. And Ace couldn't get it either since four eyes were, and the camera was mostly on him, even depicting him reaching his wound with two hands.
I think If the dev did had such meticulous intent for this hidden scene to be the key to locking the culprit, they would most likely be equally meticulous about either the tape's positioning or Ace's act to make unequivocal sense that one of them would have a clear window to obtain it, which in turn suggests they probably never had such intention to begin with.
Also, we got to consider factoring in complementary details like the starched clothes ball(Levi was the only one who mentioned being in the laundry room some time at night in ep10),Eden mentioning "someone's been following her" (I'm 100% sure this is what the dev planted to make sense of why a 3rd party could overhear Eden&Arturo&Arei event), Arei's missing glove(both Eden and Ace wears glove, Levi doesn't), enough strength to throw the rope near the ceiling(they emphasized early in one scene how high the ceiling is and eden is the smallest girl) Whit trying to make an argument about another motive Levi could have for killing Arei yet got cut off, and trying to redirect the crew's attention back to Levi's secret itself for some reason and got cut off again in ep13 11:22 12:44 (this i think is super super important and it seems only I was mentioning this). These solid details are all adding to the likelihood of Levi, and I really can't find as many other details to back Eden or Ace.
I also had a secondary theory back when ep13 dropped might worth mentioning: could the fish simply be symbolic? Sleep with the fish(godfather thingy)? Levi's background story suggests he is very likely involved in mafia conficts. J even asked him if he was "in" the mafia to which he prompt answered No. But very interestingly the dev specifically gives him a pondering "..." scene immediately after his respond to show he seemed to be thinking about the definition of his involement, then J pushed him to elaborate and he digressed.(starting from ep13 1:28) And Levi did have Italian surname.
I don't have that much confidence in this intepretation alone to begin with as I thought it is a bit old school. But since my major theory makes sense, this one doesn't seem so far-fetched anymore.
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ravenstargames · 11 months ago
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✦ Lost in Limbo Devlog #9 | 02.29.24
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What is this?! Two devlogs in one month?! More likely than you think! This February has been very productive for me and the team, so let's dive right into it!
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Ooooh boy, Raquel keeps knocking it out of the park! She managed to get done every expression for every LI, and I coded them all! Now we have our wonderful characters ready for their debut. We have been using the wonderful Image Tools for Ren'py made by the talented and hard-working Feniks, whose tutorials and resources save a lot of dev's lives every day! This tool has made everything a bit easier for newbies like me, hehe.
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Here's a taste of our edgelord's expressions! 💜 They're kind of a cutie when they put some effort into it!
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We also had our second valentine's day celebration art piece thanks to Kayden! Sadly with the reworked version of the demo, you won't meet Vycar yet, so we thought we could ask for his forgiveness by giving him a beautiful bouquet and reminding him how much of a sweetheart he is! 💜
Also, Raeya got a hair update!
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So, we weren't completely satisfied with the way we portrayed Raeya's hair, so this has been a rework we were sure we wanted to make. At first we were just going to render it again, but we ended up working on it from scratch to better represent what we envisioned for her. We hope you like it as much as we do! ; v ;💜
As always, we are open to any critique or advice; we are white people who have the luck to be able to ask POC friends for their advice as we work, but the more the merrier! Don't hesitate to send us your opinion to our ask box or even our email, [email protected]!
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When it comes to the background department, we have been making great progress thanks to Airyn, who is honestly leaving us with our mouths hanging open every time! Thanks to her, another background has been finished and another one is in the making, leaving only two backgrounds to be revised and approved!
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I personally can't stop looking at this WIP! She understood perfectly what we wanted to portray just by looking at an old WIP we had, and this is what we have so far—and it's already amazing!
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Allie has been OBLITERATING the script. As of today, I think we have almost gone through everything that needed to be corrected and discussing, and lord if the script doesn't look a 100% better after we put it in Allie's hands. The way she writes, the way she understands everything I want to say even when sometimes I don't even know myself—what a talented, inspiring and amazing writer they are. I know I may sound annoying at this point singing her praises endlessly, but if the script is in the state where it is now, it's thanks to her!
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My programming adventure of the month has been a success, if I say so myself! I've coded the characters with aaaaall their layers, their expressions, the blinking animations, made some videos, and started coding the script. Step by step as they say; I've coded 18 pages, and there's, uh...142 more to go. Haha! *sobs*
BUT WE ARE GETTING THERE! We can see the light at the end of the tunnel! I can finally click 'new game' and read the script and see the stuff going on! YAY!
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Some extras of the month—we are preparing a Casting Call to choose the voice acting talent that will hopefully give voice to our characters. The demo won't be fully voiced (it's impossible with the funds we have, which are...zero), but if we are lucky we'll use some of our personal savings to pay for at least a few lines for each character so you can get an idea of how they'll sound if we get funded! Raquel is preparing an art piece for the announcement, and I'm getting the document ready and asking fellow VA friends for advice :3.
Also, we have a new member here at Ravenstar Games! Some weeks ago Astro and I formally adopted our first kitty, 8 month old Riki, fulfilling one of our dreams. We got him from a feline association that works with volunteers and fosters cats who have been abandoned, cats they find on the street, and so on. Riki has been living with me since January, and he's a happy, long big boy who loves playing, cuddles, and sitting on my desk while I try to work!
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Say hi to the Ravenstar family, Riki! 💜
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A productive month full of accomplished milestones, excitement and new challenges! The team has worked so hard, and I've done my part too! We still don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but we have done a lot of stuff we were sure we wouldn't finish yet, and look at that! We are doing so well!
As you can probably tell, my batteries are starting to run low, so I'm going to leave this devlog here. Thank you all like always for cheering us on, for being here in this journey with us, and for all the love you send our way. Let's hope March is as amazing as February has been, for us and for all of you! 💜
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savagewildnerness · 3 months ago
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The Vampire Lestat notes...
OK, so I am taking part in a The Vampire Lestat read along on Discord (organised by @old-long-john& @inkyblotposts!)
Don’t expect me to be this in detail every week as I absolutely cannot… but I realised I went SO in detail with my notes/thoughts on my read of the first part that I can’t share it all on Discord! Hahaha!  So, instead, I’ll post it here, link it there and maybe you’d like to discuss here too? Look, I don't do things by halves, OK!? So did I write nearly as many notes as there likely are words in this part of the book? Maybe... And...?!?!?!?! But this is my Tumblr and so I can post the notes in full here and what's more, I WILL!
Introduction:
I enjoy how out-of-touch with 'the youth' of the 1980's Lestat sounds and I hope that the TV show retains this in some way. Lestat, of course, would be pretty out of place in the modern era in some ways in how he speaks, particularly given that it seems the majority of the last century he's been hibernating with a plank piano and an iPad..?
Lestat says that "there was a romance" to modern music and I'm so curious if that's how he'll feel about some kind of modern music now, or, whether Lestat’s rock star career will just be 100% about Louis on the TV show?
"the way electricity could stretch a single note forever; the way harmony could be layered upon harmony until you felt yourself dissolving in the sound. So eloquent of dread it was, this music." - This reads to me like a musical description of vampirism?!
It makes me laugh when we juxtapose how Louis and Lestat describe how broken and scared of everything he is in his wilderness years in the books... yet Lestat here is like "Yeah, I was a bit scared... but in THREE DAYS I was roaring around on a motorbike...!" hahahah... I don't know whether to believe you or not, Lestat?! I also note here that it's impossible for Lestat's strength to have increased like it has here in the book on TV as he's already too strong on the show for that!
Quote I thought might be used on the show - "All people had a right to love and to luxury and to graceful things.”
Potential episode title - "Pure evil has no real place."
Surely this quote will be on tv… “It was enough to make an Old World monster go back into the earth, this stunning irrelevance to the mighty scheme of things, enough to make him lie down and weep. Or enough to make him become a rock singer, when you think about it…”
I was interested how Lestat describes how he jams with the musicians. Will The Vampire Lestat's music incorporate old French songs and brutal rhythms - eerie and disjointed music, as Lestat describes his playing?
"When I Iose my confidence, my powers drain." Found that interesting…
We'd better see Lestat standing stock still beneath a street light, whipping through IWTV at an insane speed till he exasperatedly tears it to shreds on TV!
Lestat dreams of "unprecedented rebellion, a great and horrific change to my kind all over the world." !!!
Lestat had better use the phrase "A velvet-lined motor coach" on telly! MAKE IT SO ROLIN! Please!
The ache for Louis Lestat has - for “his romantic illusions”, “his gentlemanly malice and his physical presence, the deceptively soft sound of his voice.”
There's a self-destructive excitement to how Lestat talks of being hunted and known "as no mythic monster has ever been fought by man before.”
Lestat's psychology… “How could I not love it, the mere idea of it?  How could it not be worth the greatest danger, the greatest and most ghastly defeat?  Even at the moment of destruction, I would be alive as I have never been.”
Lelio Rising.
So first of all… I noted the timeline as I went this time:
Lestat kills the wolves aged 20 (he specifically states that he is 20 on p38 if you have the new UK paperback version of the book… “The Winter of my 21st year” - your first year you are aged 0… when you turn 1 that is your second year.  So Lestat’s 21st year is from the day he turns 20 until the day before he turns 21.
As far as I can tell, all of Lelio Rising takes place when Lestat is 20 (apart from the flashbacks when he is younger.)  Lestat meets Nicolas and they begin their conversation as Winter turns to Spring in the year he is 20…. He first performs as Lelio in late-August of the year he is 20… and he talks of seeing Magnus in October of that year… soon after which, he is made a vampire.  Thus, I think Lestat will have been made a vampire weeks/days before he turns 21.  I’d personally like to imagine it happens on Halloween.
Regarding Lestat’s family… Gabrielle has 8 children.  The oldest boy is Augustin… there is one girl, but we don’t even know where she came in the birth order.  Lestat is the youngest boy.  Only one more boy survives… a boy whom for whatever reason, Lestat doesn’t mention by name even once!!?!
How Lestat self-describes: The dreamer, the angry one, the complainer, the hunter, unhappy, ferocious, a wild creature, bitter (haha, I typed BUTTER first!)
OK… on to the chapter!
The book starts describing the Winter and I was struck by how later in the chronicles, Lestat will often dream of this snow and how this bitter Winter is the opposite of death for a vampire - who die in fire or The Sun…
“In the winter of my twenty-first year, I went out alone on horseback to kill a pack of wolves.”  Wouldn’t that have been magnificent as the actual first line of the novel?!  Just saying…!  I mean, it kind of *is* the first line!  I wonder if Anne wrote the introduction first, or this?
Lestat being brought back with his wings broken made me see Nicolas’ mind-bird in my mind.
“White-wigged Parisians in high-heeled satin slippers” was so redolent of Louis and Lestat at the Mardis Gras ball in S1 to me.
“Though I speak of them as dogs now, they were known only by their names to me then.”  What a beautiful, sideways way of expressing what the dogs meant to Lestat.
I love how hunter-Lestat is described almost like a beast himself and it makes me so excited to see this on screen.  I also love the way he understands the wolves’ strategy - thinking like the wolves think.  We’re gonna see a FLAIL, folks!
Lestat’s horse’s death is the first truly gothic description…. It always makes me wonder too whether that Lestat found it in himself to kill his horse in mercy for her suffering isn’t as much a reason for Magnus to pay attention to him as the fact that he killed the wolves? Also I’ve begun to notice Anne Rice loves to compare things to insects…
When Augustin says Lestat didn’t kill the wolves, then retracts it & Lestat says the next thing he knew he was lying alone in his room… I mean… it can be read at face value, but I also wonder - is there something that happened here that Lestat doesn’t write?  And if so, might the TV show go there?
Breaking the bullet points up as tumblr won't let me post...
I noticed a lot of what Lestat will later seek in his relationships and how he is in relationships in his relationship with Gabrielle.  Gabrielle is not a touching-person, but the moments she allows a tiny bit of conversation… it leans into me thinking of Lestat and Nicolas’ conversation… the way she gives him gifts and *things* when he struggles… it creates Lestat the gift-giver, it seems to me…?  This is how he is shown love and so this is how he learns to give love.  The way withdraws surely creates Lestat’s sense of being “too much” as much as his Father and brother telling him his is ‘wrong’ does?
“I wanted to be enclosed forever with people who believed I could be good if I wanted to be.” - I wonder if the TV show will go down the route of Lestat’s quest for goodness?  I hope so!  At this time, I think 12-year-old Lestat found goodness in the order of the monastery versus the chaos he felt in the family castle (haha, the family castle!) And I also feel like he felt goodness in being made “ordered” rather than “chaotic” himself.  However, I don’t think Lestat would have been happy in the end in so restrictive a place, much as I am sure he would have loved learning.
Gabrielle buys Lestat his first mastiff puppies, a good horse and a rifle when he is 12.  She creates Lestat-the-hunter.  She later will say she feels Lestat is the man in her, the man she cannot be in this era.  And she literally chooses what Lestat will be.  She doesn’t teach him to read, even though she knows his curiosity to learn, even from the way he talks.  No, she decides the boy will become a hunter and so Lestat does.  Becoming a hunter is also something that will bond him more tightly to his home.  It’s not something that’s ever going to lead to a route to escape for him.  Teaching Lestat to read might have led to Lestat fleeing for Paris far sooner…. I don’t know.  Gabrielle will later say she kept Lestat prisoner as surely as his Father and brothers and I really felt that on this re-read…. Even when Lestat runs away with the theatre at 16 and so Gabrielle truly then knows how Lestat wants to escape… what does she buy him?  A fancier rifle.  A thing to keep him more tightly where he is, hunting here for the family.  She begins to talk to Lestat in conversation.  But it’s like she’s placating on both sides - so Lestat will stop getting beaten (to keep him here) and so he’ll have just-enough mental stimulation to keep him where he is too: here with her…?  I understand it from her perspective.  Imagine how alone she’d be otherwise.  But it’s interesting to me.
“The silent ebb and flow of life felt deadly to me.” - surely Lestat will say this on TV?
I got annoyed thinking about Lestat playing Harlequin as I read the Commedia Dell’ Arte talking about how an actor plays a single role for life… although… metaphorically, could we say Lestat truly *is* kind of playing Lelio for life once he is immortal?!
After Lestat returns from the theatre, this is when he really begins to despair and to believe he will never be free.  I was struck by how he says he becomes more useful in this time.  Isn’t it often the way - with no hope for his own future, he sinks into the role of provider and caregiver and the only way he can ‘be good’…. It also makes me think how in the future, when in despair, Lestat will rush to *do* some mad scheme or other.
Hahaha at Lestat valuing his Mother’s physical beauty as having inherent value, the vain little irritant!
I did wonder, when Lestat tells Gabrielle how he dreams of killing his family… given how they have made all the characters worse on the show, I really HOPE they don’t make Lestat LITERALLY kill his family.  It crossed my mind that they *could*… PLEASE DO NOT.  I don’t think they will as it counters the ensuing conversation, but I had a sudden flash of FEAR!
This conversation though, Gabrielle takes Lestat seriously.  She always takes Lestat seriously, which I love her for.  Much as I believe Gabrielle doesn’t love Lestat enough… I think it’s probably pretty rare and a very special thing for a parent to take the thoughts of their child and who they are so seriously and not to dismiss them?
Gabrielle seems to love Lestat more now he’s 20 as she can see him as a man rather than as her son.  She likes to talk to him as if he were not her son.  She hates to be called Mother.  She seems to love to feel him as a comrade.  And I will say here that if I feel Lestat isn’t loved enough by Gabrielle… his brothers… she literally despises them.  I know they seem awful, but imagine not receiving even one iota of love in your entire life from your mother, which must be their experience.
“You don’t have to take upon yourself the burden of murder or madness to be free of this place.  Surely there must be other ways.” - This is the spark that makes Lestat first believe he might not have to be obedient in order to be “good”.
I love Gabrielle’s quote “I am purely myself.  I belong to no one.”
I love too that even in this introduction we get Lestat the hunter, the killer juxtaposed with Lestat the aesthete and Lestat the thinker, feeler and (he wishes!) learner…
Little break, because my favourite time is now starting - it’s Nicolas time!
Lestat describes Nicolas (at different times) as: a vision, witty, dismissive, sneering, excited, sarcastic, intelligent, melancholy, cynical, bitter, full of energy, passionate, handsome, ironical, sad, scornful, mocking, miserable, weary, dejected.
Will Nicolas say “I too am impossible, Monsieur.  Only the impossible can do the impossible.”  Surely he will, and surely “Only the impossible can do the impossible” will be the title of the episode where Lestat kills the wolves?
Lovely foreshadowing that Gabrielle says Nicolas was inspired to play violin by watching a virtuoso so impressive people said he sold his soul to the devil and then suggests that maybe Nicki can do the same.  “I laughed a little uneasily.  It sounded tragic.”  Oh Lestat, you have NO IDEA!!!!!
Will Mozart be in S3?  I HOPE SO (& think so!!?!).  And Marie Antoinette, too!  Surely!
Obviously we’ll hear Nicki’s Father was threatening to break his hands for the foreshadowing too!
“I think I loved him already, doing what he wanted like that.”  A few pages later… “I think I loved him.”  Lestat falls hard and fast, like love at first sight.
I just want to add here that it’s an absolutely ridiculous concept that Nicolas STARTS playing the violin aged 20 and immediately is able to be as good as he gets!  He might feel he can never be good enough… but he must be literally a genius if he’s become even that good at the violin when he’d never even picked one up a year ago! How do you think playing an instrument works, Anne?!?!?!?!  You just pick it up and instantly - BAM you not only can just do it, but you’re great!  If only!  And Mozart is willing to take on a complete beginner as a pupil, too?!
In Lestat and Nicolas’ first conversation, it feels to me as though Lestat is infecting Nicolas with his light and optimism and it really made me understand how much Nicolas truly did need Lestat - like he is Nicolas’ hope.  Until…. (We’ll return here later in the book!)
I wonder how the fact that Lestat is born in The Enlightenment - a new age of Reason will impact how he is portrayed on the show?  Obviously we’ve seen already how it’ll affect Armand!
When Nicolas brings up The Witches’ Place, Lestat doesn’t immediately remember - as if he has repressed the memory as it is traumatic.  I need The Witches Place on TV, but I can’t imagine how we can get to it?  Nicolas would have either not yet been born or have been a baby when this happened, so he cannot remind Lestat; Gabrielle would absolutely never bring up such a story in retrospect… and Lestat has repressed the memory… so how can we now get to The Witches’ Place?  Also, I find it interesting that Lestat says Nicki studies him as they talk about this… to ascertain how Lestat feels about it now?
I spoke of Lestat’s love for Nicolas, but when Nicolas is saying “Ah, you are a dreamer! My lord, the wolfkiller.” It feels Nicolas loves Lestat as well.  And of course, Nicolas also says “I love you” to Lestat, in Paris.  I love how, in this first conversation they both discover what it is to be truly known by another being - in how they share their lives and their longings and their dissatisfactions and they truly listen to and empathise with each other.  It definitely feels like (beyond his Mother, who really was more sporadic in her attention), this is Lestat’s first experience of truly being seen by another being.
“I think I was happier than I had ever been in my life.”  Lestat is so joyous here.  When he hears Nicolas play for the first time, he kisses Nicolas on both cheeks and then the violin!  You can just imagine the infectious joy!  And it’s such a contrast to how Lestat is afraid to touch his Mother
Lestat then (of course!) promptly cries!  (Is Sam’s Lestat going to burst into tears as often as Lestat describes it, because get him ten thousand gallons of water to drink - he’ll need them!!!!  Lestat also cries at the most random moments… but we know Sam is up to the task!) Nicolas seems deeply moved too that his music had this effect.  Perhaps Nicolas initially expected to find a kindred spirit in ferocity and rebellion in Lestat?  And he did!  But he found a match in sensitivity too.
As conversations go on, Lestat and Nicolas find their differences with opposing worldviews and interestingly they often clash about the goodness inherent in art… and yet they then come together in art (for example as Nicki plays violin and Lestat dances…)
The idea to go to Paris actually comes from Nicolas - he is the instigator.  And it feels like they are both, at this point trying to escape the meaninglessness of life.
Lestat’s “Oh, oh, oh!” crisis moment really reminds me of… *warning - slight spoiler for first time readers* what Lestat will later see in Nicolas’ mind… and it gives a different vibe to things to know that Nicolas is Lestat’s comforter in this moment and tries to relieve Lestat’s pain, but basically this is Nicolas’ mind 100% of the time.
“It was not better in the morning.”  In fact this existential crisis, his malady of mortality becomes Lestat’s eternal yearning ache of questioning than can never be fully assuaged (maybe on the TV show, the answer will be - Louis’ love.)  It never goes away, and any time someone describes Lestat as just FUN, I think back to this - because at the core of Lestat (and as I see it, at the core of The Vampire Chronicles) is this terror that existence is meaningless and that no life has any meaning at all.  That there are no answers we’ll ever receive, not even when we die.  That there will be no retribution or reward or even knowledge in any way.  That all there is is existence and non-existence.  This will obviously only be heightened once Lestat becomes a vampire, so must take life in order to survive and force countless souls into non-existence…. In in fact, Lestat’s focus on death and chaos has this nihilistic hint to it which is so the opposite to how Lestat is generally perceived.. and, admittedly how he tries to come across, too!  Lestat says he doesn’t believe in presentiments, but narratively this all is a presentiment and literally it is to be Lestat’s eternal malady of immortality as well.
I had some very personal thoughts at this point, when Lestat goes about questioning everyone… which perhaps I won’t share….  Well just to say that sometimes when something big happens in your life, you literally see the world in a different way.  I am thinking on a time when all of a sudden I began to look at people & it felt like I could *see* the weariness of their souls and internal fragilities, just looking at strangers’ faces and it was really unnerving and overwhelming, especially going about in crowds…
“Drew me as strongly as it scared me.”  Isn’t this always the way?  I hope the writers always have this quote in mind throughout the entire show’s creation!
It’s interesting that before Lestat heads to Paris he is now toning down how much he tells Gabrielle and instead it is Nicki he will fully open up with.
I love the part where Lestat hugs Gabrielle and she gives herself over to him and he witnesses her cry for the first time and loves it.  I had a very similar experience with my Dad once when I was a child, heading into being a teen and I can still conjure the scene and how it felt… and I felt similarly about it too…
At the end of chapter 6 it seems Gabrielle is saying she’s always lived vicariously through Lestat & now in sending him away as she’s dong, she hopes to continue to live vicariously through him still in some way as she approaches what she thinks will be her death?  Reading this time gave me big Magnus vibes in how he perceives Lestat too… weird!  Like somehow, both seem to desire to live vicariously through Lestat?  Could we even say it of Nicolas too, in a way?  He needs Lestat, to feed on his capacity for joy… hmm… I don’t know… I’m thinking as I type…
I love the feeling of freedom and optimism when Lestat and Nicolas first arrive in Paris  - the true start of living life!
And yet, Lestat still talks of his trembling, terrifying existential dread that settles upon him every night and which Nicolas tries to encourage him to let go.
Vampires have preternatural ability to mimic, but as described, Lestat already learned in this way it seems, in the theatre.  I love how he describes his fear evaporating and how he loved being on stage.  I love his determination and how convinced he is he will be a great actor.  I love how Lestat and Nicolas are described here and there’s a tantalising feeling of how their future might be…
The Autumn arrives with it’s personification of Dread.
Malady of mortality surely has to be an episode title?
When Lestat wraps he and Nicki together in his cloak against the show and rain, it feels simultaneously real and metaphorically poignant.
Lestat genuinely thinks if he could just get Nicki to understand the truth Lestat feels certain of (goodness in art and making others happy through your art), all would be well, but Nicolas still believes goodness can only come from obedience and self-sacrifice and denial and, thus, he knows himself to be evil.
“Light and beauty come together in you in a thousand different patterns” is such a beautiful thing Lestat says to Nicolas.
Nicki’s final words to mortal Lestat are a soft “Let’s go to bed.”  (Do you think show-Lestat will be ripped out of post-coital Nicolas’ arms..?)
Finally: Questions:
At the start of TVL, Lestat has been In The Earth. Do you think he will have been In The Earth in this era on the TV show? (As Louis has seen him pretty recently, which makes it seem like perhaps he won’t have been?)
The ‘spirit’ of 1984 reminds Lestat of the 1700’s. Will there be anything about the 2020’s that Lestat will associate with/that will remind him of the late eighteenth century?
“I did a lot of thinking about this sinless, secular morality, this optimism” - will this be a driving force for modern day Lestat? What will he think about in relation to right now?
What music will Lestat listen to? He listens to a lot of Bach when he first rises in the book (while driving his Harley-Davidson.  Is there a security both in the structure of Bach and in the fact his music is from an era predating even mortal Lestat that makes Lestat feel safer entering the modern era?
Lestat talks about coming back after killing the wolves and feeling that he was ‘not-Lestat’, so I thought we could discuss - did killing the wolves change Lestat, and if so: how?
When Lestat goes into a depression post-killing-the-wolves, is this essentially a human version of “Going into The Earth” as Lestat will do numerous times as a vampire?
How will the French Revolution impact the TV telling?
When Lestat talks of how he could have poisoned meat to kill the wolves, but meat was too scarce… is he in a veiled way saying that his life has less value than a piece of meat?
“I don’t think I felt the slightest fear then.  But I felt something, and it caused the hair to rise up on the back of my arms.” What exactly is the “something” Lestat feels when he sets out to kill the wolves?  And why is he not afraid? Bravery? His hunting spirit? His impulsive, adventurous nature? Stupidity? Naivety? Only feeling truly alive in moments that contain the potential for death? A lack of care whether he lives or dies (borne of despair}?
Reading the wolves section, with the dying animals and even after this too when Lestat talks of his ignored/thwarted farming plans for his family’s land… It made me wonder, just a curious ponder - if Sam might have had any experiences in real life connected to any of this stuff, given his family’s line of work…?
Is performing with the theatre troupe at 16 the first time Lestat truly feels pure joy - he describes it as ecstasy?
How can we now get to The Witches’ Place if Nicki can’t have witnessed child-Lestat there, Gabrielle would never tell the story and Lestat has repressed the memory…?
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theambitiouswoman · 1 month ago
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Hi there, I'm back for another ask! I wanted to share some thoughts and get your perspective on love and relationships, or situationships, if you will. I often find myself in the “mom” role among my friends, and with their permission, I’d like to share a recent experience (without disclosing too much).
A friend of mine was talking about her love interest, whom she sees as a "green flag." However, this guy struggles with self-sabotaging behaviours. Instead of viewing it negatively, I reframed it as him being a highly empathetic person who hasn’t yet learned to prioritise healing, which inadvertently leads to hurting others.
Fast forward, they had a meaningful discussion and settled on some mutual understanding about love. Reflecting on what she shared, I realised how often people around us treat “love” as this overwhelming concept that doesn’t easily extend to friendships. But I believe love, commitment, effort, and trust are just as vital in friendships. In fact, I think friendships should have high standards too—because letting just anyone into your life can lead to hurt, even from those we call “friends.”
What’s your take on this? Do you agree that friendship and relationships aren’t so different, with friendship sometimes serving as a “trial” for a deeper relationship? (Ofc, I'm aware there's possibility that treatments in a relationship is way more special and "extra")
I’d love to hear your thoughts! Thanks so much for your time, queen 👑💐💝
hi my love, I love your advice on self sabotaging, I would have 100% said something similar. We can empathize and understand someones behavior, but until they realize it and decide to work on it for themselves, there is a strong possibility that at some point that behavior will also be used on you.
I think it's important to discuss what love is to a person, because so many people view it as too many different things. You’re spot on—people often treat love as this overwhelming, all consuming force, especially in romantic contexts. But love isn’t meant to be chaotic or uncontrollable. It’s steady, intentional, and manifests in the small, consistent acts that build trust and connection. Romantic love and friendship both thrive on commitment and mutual respect.
I agree, friendship should have higher standards. The beauty of high-standard friendships is that they also serve as a mirror. The love, effort and trust you extend in friendship often reflect your readiness to offer the same in a relationship. We are too quick to call everyone a friend these days. We should have high standards for everyone and everything that we accept in our life because it will ultimately have a significant impact on us and our decisions, life etc.
You hit on something so true—friendships and relationships share core values like trust, effort, and love. Many people underestimate how important it is to cultivate strong, healthy friendships, not just for their own sake but as a foundation for future relationships. Friendships are often where we practice vulnerability, communication and forgiveness, which are essential in romantic relationships too.
That said, I see friendships and relationships as complementary rather than identical. Romantic partnerships involve additional layers of intimacy, exclusivity, and long term goals, a strong friendship sets the standard for how you should be treated in any connection.
Imo, relationships (of any kind) are about balance. It’s great to give love generously, but it’s equally important to expect and enforce reciprocity. Friendships don’t always “prepare” you for relationships; sometimes, they’re the relationship you need most.
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goldenhallas · 2 months ago
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I unlocked all the memories in the Lighthouse and I'm vibrating with excitement rn! so many things me and my brothers discussed over the years have turned out to be true, or almost correct. We thought the Evanuris were also the Old Gods of Tevinter, which was close since the Old Gods were actually the Evanuris' bound dragons. We also thought Solas/other ancient elves were spirits (the way I shrieked when that was confirmed lmao). Now looking back at Inquisition it gives a whole new layer to the Cole situation... Cole chose to manifest in a physical body and he could become more physical, more human, but Solas didn't want him to and greatly disapproves if you do that, not just because it 'goes against his nature' as he said, but because it reminded Solas of when he chose to become physical and his regrets surrounding that. Damn. I wonder if it's possible for Solas to somehow reverse what he did and become fully spirit again, and if he would choose that if he could? What about Ghilana/Solavellan, would she change his mind on that? Anyway I digress. You know what really has me shook about all this... I was literally 100% certain, not a doubt in my mind, that Ghilan'nain created the Blight. I never for one second suspected it was Solas!? Like. Holy shit, he really, really fucked up on a whole other level with that one. He separated the dwarves from the titans / took away their ability to dream, and not only that, but he knew the damage it would cause and what he was doing was awful, but he did it anyway. All because he loved Mythal so much he would've followed her anywhere, even into doom. It's so tragic and romantic and terrible all at the same time, so very Solas, and I love it. I have to wonder though... how does he feel about what he did to the dwarves now? Obviously he regrets what he did, that's clear, but why didn't he give their dreams back at some point between then and now? All it took was Harding touching the lyrium dagger to get reconnected to the titan, so surely Solas could've done that? So why didn't he? I know he was preoccupied with other stuff but that's a pretty damn big deal. Maybe he didn't realise a simple touch of the lyrium dagger was all it would take to reconnect them? Or maybe - and I think this is more likely - the titan is too dangerous right now because of its anger at what was done to it (understandable) and he thought reconnecting them before he healed/calmed the titan (if that's possible?) would be a bad idea for the dwarves? My brother thinks he just didn't care but I think that's ridiculous and doesn't seem like Solas at all.
I mean Solas could burn down the entire world and I'd still love him, so whatever the case I'm his ride or die, but I do want to give him a bit of a clip around the ears and make him look the dwarves in the eye and apologise to every single one of them and FIX what he did to them. I'm also wondering if this whole thing with Rook IS part of his plan to fix what he did? He was known as the trickster god and he was known for getting out of traps, so you never know
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widebrimmedhatsblog · 4 months ago
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I'm going to combine my reply to yours on AO3 with this, but yes, I 100% get it. People can be so rude and unappreciative and I know it's usually not on purpose but it can still be grating. Not very demure, not very mindful 😓
This is a really young fandom (not just in age specifically, but in fandom experience) and I try to remind myself of that all the time. I'm in a place now where I just scroll past in my inbox and barely take in comments like that, but I get how disappointing it can be. We work really hard on these pieces and they genuinely take a lot of our time and energy we could spend doing other things (I haven't read a book in months), so getting responses like that on a labour of love is so grating.
I feel so awkward as a writer who gets it even phrasing "I'd love to see more" in comments. It's very: I want this person to know I loved it so much I want to see more of it, but also: I don't want this person to feel pressured to do it just because I love it, I just want them to know. Even when I commented, I had in the back of my mind how many WIPs you were working on and how stressful that can be holding all of that in your head, but I don't think normal people realise.
It's like you have a million things to do but you've spent all day baking a triple layer cake with filling and frosting and all the toppings and you're exhausted and your feet hurt but you're eagerly watching someone eat the first slice...and they say "nice! have you got any biscuits?" and you're just like???
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@justallihere and I always talk about starting a fandom podcast to talk about things like this and educate people and honestly, I think the world needs it. People treat writers like TikTok content creators and that's just not how it works over here.
(Also, I promise we're not girlbossing it, we're bullshitting our way through every minute of every day)
I'm annoyed that this has ruined the excitement of posting a new work for you, you should be able to bask in our shared joy after gifting us something like this. I really loved the work, truly and I can understand the lack of inclination to continue it given the little worldbuilding we've been shown. It certainly doesn't make canon-adjacent fic easy. Love that you don't like Brennan though, or have any desire to write him. He's dodgy as fuck.
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As a writer, you can only write what you want to write. If you're not enthusiastic about it or inspired by it, it either won't be written at all, or the magic won't be there. If you can see where it goes but you don't want to write it then you shouldn't.
I'm so grateful for you taking on the prompt in the first place, it was a wonderful gift and the pair of them were everything I could have hoped for—Violet being her prickly self and Xaden still being a self-assured casanova? Delicious. Plus, we love a fic where Violet gets eaten out in the wilderness 😉 Welcome to the club! Should we create a 'cunnilingus in the wilderness' tag for this fandom?
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You put so much thought into this whole world and it's absolutely, truly appreciated by those who matter and understand how hard the process is and what a gift it is—thank you, thank you, thank you! 🙏
Amy!!! You are so lovely, thank YOU. I get you 100000% and I didn’t feel pressured by you whatsoever. I definitely agree that people who aren’t writers just don’t get it. I got a comment this morning that was like I’d read 200k more of this, and it’s like, someone has to WRITE 200k more of it then. Two hundred thousand words are not going to fall out of the sky just because you’d like to read them. But I digress!!! There’s been a lot of joy in it too, especially in discussing the backstory with everyone. If you and Alli had a podcast I think I would go a little insane!
I personally am just not huge on writing Brennan when he’s alive because he makes NO SENSE. I feel slightly similar about the Fen & Xaden dynamic. I just prefer to write him being dead for that reason.
Again, I’m so so SO glad you specifically enjoyed the fic!! I thought about you a lot while writing it, so I’m glad that paid off.
Cunnilingus In The Wildnerness Tag!!! Absolutely. I am honored to join the club .
This made me very happy, and definitely helped me feel better about things + my reaction to them. Thank you.
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tinycupcakesstuff · 5 months ago
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Unpacking Heated Rivalry and the OG Hockey Husbands
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I can't unpack Heated Rivalry before covering Breakfast with Scot, who walked so the whole m/m hockey romance genre could run. The film based on the novel by the same name which explores intergenerational issues between queer adults parenting a queer child. The film ups the ante with making one of the queer adults a hockey player and the layers that come with being in the closet as a professional athlete.
The year was 2007 and we are introduced to Eric McNally, who retired sometime around 2002 (Ellen came out in 1997), so his career would have been 1990s-2002. He would have played junior hockey in the 80s. Heated Rivalry takes place covering the decade after Breakfast with Scot, 2008-2018.
For Eric, the context of AIDs epidemic, shifting social views on LGBT issues in general society let alone the sports/hockey world are very much his lived experience.
We meet Eric, now retired from hockey in his late 30s, in a long term committed relationship with his partner, Sam who is a sports lawyer (and was apparently Eric's lawyer). Eric is out to the important people in his life but not publicly because he works as an analyst for a Canadian sports network. He is living a double life, or at least his sexuality is somewhat of an "open secret" in hockey circles. One he takes great lengths to avoid drawing any attention to.
Eric is aware of how things have changed, but all of the societal progress and multitudes of public figures coming out post-Ellen hasn't necessarily changed anything for him. He is still very much under the microscope of the Toronto hockey media landscape, having become a sports caster in his retirement and hosting a Sportscenter-like hockey program on TV. Despite the fact that he is out to his assistant who relentlessly teases him for not being out at work. When Eric does finally come out at work, she confirms, "everyone already knew."
In daily life Eric seems to be comfortably out. Eric's comfortable balance of his homelife with Sam and hockey life explodes with arrival of Scot, Sam's brother's dead ex-girlfriends son, who they need to take custody of temporarily.
Scot is not the 11 year old boy Eric was expecting. He was bracing himself for a homophobic terror that would destroy their home and sell their electronics for booze. Instead they got Scot, who wears Pink Gardenia hand cream and a charm bracelet. Scot who turned down Eric's invitation to watch hockey because, he "only likes musicals."
Somehow, this was just as bad as what Eric was predicting and he starts having a harder time keeping his worlds separate. Eric attends Scot's parent teacher night with Sam, which the topic of discussion is how to manage Scot. All 3 adults have no clue. The teacher offers that he should watch TV to find more "traditional" role models. A microaggression that Eric bristles at.
Scot has no qualms being who he is, clearly his mother raised him in an affirming manner. He wears pink, glitter, make-up, and is 100% true to himself at all times. And interestingly, Scot faces little bullying and ridicule even though Eric is terrified of this. Scot is innocent and confused about homophobia, although at one point he admits to Eric that he thinks being gay means "no one likes you." To which Eric forcefully tells him, "It doesn't mean that." Which for a guy like Eric, with a pretty limited tool box in which to discuss feelings, is pretty big!
On Scot's first day with Eric and his partner, he outs Eric to a mall security guard.
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Eric immediately responded above, stammering I'm not, I'm not, because he was caught off guard. I don't necessarily buy into that he is ashamed. I think Scot outing him AGAINST HIS WILL wasn't something he was prepared for and I do have a lot of sympathy for him stumbling through it. I'm not sure the film and the fandom are always very sympathetic to Eric.
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Scot continues, "Him and Sam are married" and Eric's response is probably my favorite line in the film. He says, "We're not even...we're not even married."
For me, he is redeemed. He is not denying his relationship, he clarifies that they're not married, but doesn't deny that they're together. I think he did his best navigating a very nuanced public situation with an impressionable child as a gay public figure in the closet!
So what does all this have to do with Heated Rivalry?
So in the entire DECADE after we meet Eric still in the closet 5 years post retirement.....we get a fictional NHL player coming out publicly in the Game Changers universe!
Heated Rivalry covers, in excruciating detail, how difficult and painful it is navigating falling in love as a closeted NHL player. And when I say excruciating, I mean it is agony.
I don't know if it is a weird take because I am 7 years late to the Ilya/Shane party, but the angst was just so painful. I am in an emotional twist. Physical/psychic pain. Damn, their love was so hard. Damnnnnnn.
I have a Eric McNally origin story where I speculate about Eric's Heated Rivalry glory days which would have been roughly 1992-2002, and what he got up to while he was playing. I do NOT have him falling in love back then lol. But he did have a boyfriend or 2. He saves it all for Sam. It's certainly not on the level of Ilya and Shane, but I am sure he had someone to meet in hotels all across North America. The only other mm hockey romance that touches on that experience is the character Wade in Breaking the Rules.
Eric and Sam are the OG hockey husbands!!!!!
I am working on an Epic novel length Eric and Sam romance novel, full of smut a la Ilya/Shane.
This is just another part of my (and a few of my fandom comrades) ongoing effort to produce Breakfast with Scot propaganda to entice others to join our esteemed ranks which number in the DOZENS! We are dozens!
Breakfast with Scot has me in an absolute choke hold because we meet Eric and Sam as hockey husbands. They live the most stable, quaint life on the outskirts of Toronto in the cutest brownstone known to man. Their relationship is calm and safe, despite Eric being an absolute neurotic mess 100% of the time.
It's a deep well to draw from thematically. The character of Scot is an absolute delight. This is a queer family film, a hockey romance, it is everything! And the Toronto Maple Leafs allowed their logo to be in a queer film!
It's taking every shred of willpower NOT to abandon my WIPs and start working on the Game Changers x Breakfast with Scot crossover no one asked for...But I need a universe where Eric and Ilya and Shane can exist together...Soon, I hope.
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cryptic-forge · 1 year ago
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COMMISSIONS
TEMPORARILY CLOSED. i hope to be back in early 2025.
if you want to get your hands on one of my critters, a few options are available:
1) prints of existing bjd models starting at 60€ + shipping. if you want any creature posted in the catalog tag, this option is for you. mini catalog contains simple tiny sculpts that cost 15€. we can discuss size, color, and paint options, or you can have a blank base. eyes and hair are included, clothing and accessories are not. if the post indicates there are fixes i need to make to the prototype, those fixes will be made before your doll is printed. price is determined by how much post-print painting and other customization work you want; i will give you an exact quote when the details have been fully hashed out. the starting price includes a simple paint job & faceup.
2) custom bjd 200€ + shipping. a fully unique sculpt made to your specifications, printed and painted. can include hair and eyes, does not include clothing. i can make clothes for an extra fee, see this & this for some examples. a custom sculpt that involves your design [oc references etc] will not be sold to anyone else.
the maximum height for full dolls is 35cm. bigger prints cost extra, depending on size.
3) floating heads from any sculpt in the catalog tag 25€ + shipping, unique custom heads 50€ + shipping. includes faceup and eyes. can be any size, up to 1/3 scale.
4) familiars/other metal armature art dolls 70€, or 100€ with wings. art dolls can be mixed&matched from all parts i've made, and colors can be whatever i happen to have on hand/am able to find. the tag for familiars is here. if you need a custom head/paws/other parts, i can also do that.
all dolls are fdm 3d-printed in PLA. this means the following things:
they are very lightweight and reasonably sturdy.
there will be layer lines and imperfections. i check the quality of every doll, but a 3d print will never be as flawlessly smooth as a resin doll or a mass-produced plastic doll.
they are non-toxic, though should not be given to children to chew on because they're entirely made of small parts strung together with elastic cord.
i'm not currently selling any digital files.
turnaround time is 2-8 weeks. keep in mind i am one person with one printer, so technical problems can cause delays. payments via paypal invoice when i'm ready to start working. bank transfer and mobilepay are also ok for finnish customers. i ship worldwide, cost depends on location; starting at around 20€ for eu, 45€ for usa, and somewhere in-between for the rest of the world. let me know where you live and i'll give you an exact shipping quote.
no returns or refunds & i can't take responsibility for any problems during shipping. if a part of your doll breaks (in transit or after), i will replace it at the cost of shipping for the new part.
shoot me a chat message to get started!
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lmk-aus-galore · 8 months ago
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Lmao, for sure. I mean, "he became a deeply protective and caring creature" or whatever they said in Roast of the Monkie Kids, and I sat there like....you mean. you mean the guy Tripitaka often agreed with, *insert some allegorical thing for persuasions of the heart, and that post on their similar nature* the one who get getting Wukong in trouble and stole fights at the end? Mmm, yeah he would push you off a cliff. But bc he's different here, we're contractually obliged (not personally, but when discussing objectively in fandom) to acknowledge those differences. I dislike JTTW Tripitaka, but I understand he's a different dude here. Also woah, didn't know that was something Tripitaka got hate for??? Most Wukong fans I hang around tend to like him. But 100% its genuinely funny Macaque gets the "bUT in jtTW" treatment bc in any other fandom it would never happen. But maybe its exactly because he clicks all the boxes of the fandom's villain fav that there's this push and pull to balance what someone thinks is a "lack of criticism" so they turn to the book and say "well if this was the BOOK he wouldn't be as popular" that is, of course, besides the people who genuinely have their lore all mixed up and with full confidence throw out incorrect facts. Also ughh, Macaque and the monkeys is one of my favorite running gags in this show and I really hope you're right because that means he maaaaay have been there during the Burning of Flower Fruit Mountain, if they keep that in since Erlang Shen is in the show. And it's right after the LBD incident. And yes, it's quite possible. To add on to your points, Wukong says "its time to give back what you stole" in s1 ep 9 and this show loves its parallels. Macaque's eye twitches then, and I wouldn't be surprised if he said that in their 2nd fight as he also stole their supplies. Oooh that IS interesting, I thought the fire sealing happened after the journey. I know a few people theorized that this was an AU where the circlet got taken off sooner, makes you wonder why? Honestly yeah, if they actually grew to get along then makes a whole lotta sense why Wukong would be upset. There's a thousand layers of tragic, because Imma be honest. I really struggle to see Macaque as being possessive or jealous. He'd going to need a serious trigger to do that, and it would have to be either serious resentment over Wukong not being there (FFM burning) or "Because normally you just RUSH to my rescue." being internalized and acted upon when "Monkey! No violence!" happens. The 1st fight def haunts him as it haunts Wukong bc we see him say "I need to stop dragging you into my mess" post s3. "But no! Wukong doesn't listen to anyone, doing whatever he wants and dragging everybody into his mess." Their fight drives me insane bc for the life of me, I can't imagine what motivates Wukong to throw shade like "always had a sidekick kind of vibe." and "on brand for you to have a worse version of everyone else's powers" and "that's a relief. I thought it was somebody important." or why Macaque wanted to kill him so bad "its going to be soo satisfying killing you with your own powers" why always the power reference? because all this over the MONK??? Nah. What caused them to spit hypothetical vitriol in mystery fight 2 so bad their relationship fractured into this. "It's great to see ya, bud!" being mocked again that time implies their 2nd fight had a heavy connection in bringing up the 1st as well if Mac is literally resurrected bothered over it instead of fight number two. "Looks like our own friend, the Lady Bone Demon" (s3 ep 1??) is ALSO weird af phrasing, because it sounds like Macaque was there during the LBD fight when we know he wasn't..........right? with the close timeline of events and her involvement in Mac's revival + the Diyu also freeing Azure + both of them initially hating Wukong, makes you wonder if its orchestrated to get back at him, like literally every villain thus far. Maybe for erasing his name from the book of life and death?
Especially with the trailer out.
I have a feeling the 10 kings are covering up their crime of releasing Azure and blaming it at Wukong.
Which despite it not at all being his fault, there’s too much evidence against him that unfortunately frames him as the one who released Azure or something…especially since all 10 kings are in a position of power.
Maybe this Season is more on trying to prove Wukong is innocent or something?
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canarysage · 1 year ago
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Basic Adjustment Layers For Dummies <3
— as written by a dummy.
welcome to photopea for dummies, eos’ series on the website we all know and… “love”… photopea! if you don’t know what photopea is, it’s a free alternative to photoshop that can be used in your browser!
in any case, today we’re going to be discussing the average editor’s lifeblood: adjustment layers.
we’re not going to discuss all of the adjustment layers, as there’s about seventeen and some are much more complicated than others. for the sake of time, i’ll just be talking about some of the basic adjustment layers.
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brightness/contrast
brightness/contrast is the first of the adjustment layers found in the drop-down menu (layers > new adjustment layer > brightness/contrast) and is fairly easy to use and understand.
as the name implies, brightness/contrast gives you two sliders—one that controls brightness, one for contrast. the contrast slider goes from -100 (low contrast) to 100 (high contrast.) the brightness slider goes from -150 (low brightness) to 150 (high brightness.)
this layer may seem fairly rudimentary, but makes a good foundation for all edits and can help set the tone of your entire psd.
— author’s note: if you need a quick way to make an image very bright, make a brightness/contrast layer and, without touching the sliders, set the blending mode to screen. then adjust the opacity as needed. it works well for a quick lighting fix, when you need one.
vibrance
vibrance is the fifth layer down in the drop-down menu, and marks the beginning of the category i like to call the color adjusters. i have no idea what the actual name is, so don’t ask.
similar to brightness/contrast, vibrance has two sliders: vibrance and saturation. vibrance is a lighter version of saturation—while saturation affects all the pixels of an image, vibrance tends to be much more targeted.
the vibrance and saturation sliders both range from -100 (least colorful) to 100 (most colorful.) it’s important to note that you should only knock saturation down to -100 if you want a grayscale image. i usually only push the saturation slider between the -30 to 30 range, but that’s just personal preference—mess around and see what works for you.
— author’s note: a fun trick to use is to mimic what i did in the image above: set the vibrance very high and the saturation in the negatives. it gives the image a nice pop.
photo filter
one of my personal favorites, photo filter is the eighth layer down in the drop-down menu. photo filter is a good way to collect your colors when they’ve splattered all over the place.
photo filter is a bit different than the layers we’ve looked at so far—it only has one slider, the intensity slider, which goes from 0 to 100, and has a small square above this slider. the square is where you select your color—click it and mess with the slider, or type in a memorized hex code if you’re some kind of color wizard.
most people have a general color palette in mind when making a psd, i’d like to think. photo filter helps to regulate these colors. if your psd is looking warmer than you’d like it to, a low level photo filter in #5b82a7 or #604db5 can help to cool it down. if your psd is looking too green, a low level photo filter in #af65c2 or #4a1a80 can do the trick. forgive me, but you’re going to want your color wheel for this layer. it’s easy to utilize, though!
— author’s note: a cool trick i like to use is to set photo filter’s density at 100 and get a pale grey like #eaeaea. it’s an easy way to desaturate your image without eating all of your colors. you can find this layer—or something very close to it—on virtually all of my psds.
threshold
ah, threshold. the best friend of every tumblr editor. threshold is fourteenth from the top in your drop-down menu, and is fairly simple to use. threshold has one slider, ranging from 1 to 255, and can be a little alarming if you don’t know what you’re looking at.
one of these days i’ll cover blending modes, but for now just know that when you’re trying to get a shadowy effect, it’s best to use darken, multiply, or darker color. threshold is an extreme contrast layer that breaks images into the whites and blacks. it’s commonly used to get a nice shadowy effect—you do this by setting it to multiply or darken.
the slider can be played with at your discretion; i typically have threshold as my first layer, and set it between 40-80, but it depends on the image.
— author’s note: i’ve also seen some people set threshold to soft light for real life images. i don’t typically work with these, and personally i don’t enjoy the look, but remember that nothing is set in stone—feel free to play with blending modes as much as you want!
and there you have it! some of the basic adjustment layers. i hope you have a greater understanding of photopea now, or at the very least a greater understand of my lack of ability to explain things. see you next time!
sincerely, eos
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coolerdracula · 2 months ago
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ok I ate some food I feel more human now. can someone pls read my idea for my paper and tell me if it's coherent or not 😭 I want to make sure before I start writing bc I'm not 100% trustful of my thinking capabilities rn .... under cut bc I'm shy
so it's for my TV and representation class for a project where we (a group of 3 people) choose an older show to hypothetically reboot but with more representation. so we're doing Home Improvement but lesbians. and part of the project is for each person to write a paper w critical analysis/discussion of the source show and like why that impacts the way we're changing the show. right. so my idea is to talk about how sitcoms have historically centered their comedy around the (perceived, cisheteronormative etc) differences between men and women, with of course a huge focus on men. and so what would it look like if (cishet etc) men were decentered. and how does that create a new dialogue (since TV and movies are social forums) about gender theory on screen etc etc. ? also it's a butch/femme couple so things are at play irt the assumption that butches and femmes are just mirrors of cishet men and women and by like revoking that notion within the show that also like adds to the layers in the conversation bc it's not just decentering men but also confronting the notion of a 'fight' between preconceived ideas of masculinity and femininity? idk is this anything. it's not a super high stakes thing but yeah
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