#we did it for the meme and the banger of a song from a band we both love dearly

[violeteyedkiller]

On a better note before I disappear again, today is my wedding anniversary

[1spy]

1988 | Guns N' Roses - "Patience"

I was riding my bike with a friend back in middle school, and he started singing this song that sounded really cool. The kids now would call it a meme song, where there's just one catchy bit that gets memorized and transmitted instantly to seemingly every kid you know. All I know is we were riding our bikes around and singing this song at the top of our lungs like kids did back then:

Take me down to the paradise city / Where the grass is green and girls are pretty / Oh won't you please take me home

It was so dumb and fun. And I had not, at the time, even seen the video for "Paradise City." In fact, the first video I remember seeing from Guns N' Roses was their mega-popular acoustic ballad "Patience."

It's not the most representative song in their catalog. GNR's debut album, Appetite for Destruction, had come out in 1987 and was full of heavy, uncompromisingly sleazy hard rock bangers that made other LA hair metal bands sound tame and fake in comparison. The album painted a portrait of a Hollywood underworld where sex and drugs are traded for access and opportunity, but where the American dream is most likely to end in an overdose. All of which seemed pretty far away from my life in suburban Spring, Texas.

But Patience was a perfect entry point for me, a kid whose favorite band was—at the time—the Eagles. The gentle acoustic ballad opens with Axl whistling, which may have been a savvy bid for pop relevance only one year after Bobby McFerrin's huge #1 hit "Don't Worry Be Happy" also included prominent whistling. Patience got all the way to number four.

I wasn't the only one connecting GNR to the Eagles. Hotel California and Appetite for Destruction have similar themes involving sex, excess, and corruption in a drug-soaked Hollywood. Axl had performed backing vocals on Don Henley's album, End of the Innocence. And Henley played drums and sang backup when Guns N' Roses played "Patience" on the 1989 American Music Awards.

It took two years for it to happen, but the singles for "Welcome to the Jungle," "Paradise City," "Sweet Child O' Mine" and "Patience" eventually made the band ubiquitous. And Axl was constantly in the news for being a terrible human: starting shows late, nearly starting riots at his own shows, saying racist, misogynistic, and homophobic shit, and otherwise being a huge asshole.

At the time none of that mattered to me. What mattered was the way I felt when I pressed play on the CD. It was exhilarating every every single time. It still is. Appetite for Destruction is the best selling debut album of all time because it has no skips. It's an incredible hard rock album front to back, full of songs that are musical, surprising, funny, sophisticated, angry, and—more than anything else—convincing. It was hard to listen to Appetite and then put on Warrant, Poison or Motley Crue. Nirvana killed all those bands, but GNR put them on notice.

"Patience" wasn't on Appetite. It was on a follow-up collection of two EPs called GN'R Lies. The GNR half was old live performances from 1986 ("Move to the City" was my fave). The "Lies" half was a set of four acoustic originals whose popularity may have inspired MTV Unplugged:

"Patience"- the second song I ever learned to play on guitar all the way through.

"Used to Love Her" - A jokey song about killing your girlfriend and burying her in the back yard.

"You're Crazy" - Better, bluesier, and somehow darker than the version on Appetite.

"One in a Million" - The song whose lyrics included racist, anti-immigrant, and homophobic slurs, but also functioned as an Axl Rose origin story.

Even when I was a kid listening, the lyrics to "One in a Million" bugged me because Axl's lyrics on the song weren't just hateful, they were the worst lyrics he had recorded. It was a missed opportunity, because it's probably the best song on this record. It was his best vocal performance, it had the best solo, and Axl whistles over the opening again with an even better melody. It sucks because he ruined the song with half-assed, bigoted lyrics.

None of this is to provide an apologia for GNR (or for me). They were my favorite band until my senior year of high school. They were the reason my first guitar was a Gibson Les Paul like Slash played. And I dove DEEP into both Use Your Illusion records when they came out (I could write three or four more posts about UYI I & II).

But once Izzy Stradlin' left the band, I knew they were never going to make another record as good as Appetite. The best songs off Use Your Illusion are the Izzy songs. The coolest guy in that band was Izzy. And the best post-Appetite record by anyone in the band is Izzy's solo record with the Ju Ju Hounds.

I went to see Guns N' Roses in 1992 with Soundgarden opening. And I'm glad I did. But Izzy wasn't there, and I felt his absence. Basically, it feels like I left GNR when Izzy did.

But if he ever rejoins the band, I might see them again.

Fave lyrics (for someone who loved walking the tough suburban streets of Cypresswood at night):

I've been walking the streets at night Just trying to get it right It's hard to see with so many around You know I don't like being stuck in the crowd And the streets don't change but maybe the names...

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 25/06/2023

dong music

Season 5 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume C

Ripped by eg_9371

One of the more novel things about having followed SiIva for as long as I have has been seeing the channel's library of jokes gradually grow and change overtime. Its almost impossible to picture now, but in the earliest days of the channel 7 Grand Dad was really the only joke that would appear regularly: Snow Halation, Loud Nigra, Nutshack, We Are Number One, and so on would all join later, of course, but for a time the selection was quite limited. And it might just be my imagination, but it felt like around ~2017-2018, sound-based shitposts akin to what SiIva was posting regularly started to become more of a mainstream meme-culture thing, where you'd find it in your average Twitter feed. Its become a kind of symbiosis I feel, wherin many of the channel's own in-jokes slowly creep their way into social media, and many social media-viral sound sources slowly get integrated into the channel itself, even if just momentarily. Penis Music, out of all sources, is what immediately comes to mind for me when I think of this phenomenon.

Maybe that's just because it feels like such a perfect fit for the channel? Maybe because the few appearances it had on the channel during Season 4:2 stuck out so much from their quality? Or maybe just because the source track is, even with or perhaps because of its instrumentation, a fucking banger.

Life in the Mines is already a top-tier DKC track to begin with and one that sounds good almost no matter what instrumentation you give it, and there's obviously something really funny about blasting the loudest, most obnoxious instrumentation possible over a track meant to convey ambience and quiet. But once the intro plays and the track begins, it quickly becomes clear that the joke was lead in to a genuinely fantastic EDM remix of the original track. Yet its not a bait-and-switch: The chorus is still using the same synth and same samples as the original Penis Music song, and the more iconic rubberband samples reappear as the track goes on, feeling part of this greater remix effort.

There's a good number of audio sources used on SiIva that are most often used in intentionally terrible ways, and I feel there's a real possibility Penis Music could've ended up like that. But a small band of rippers who saw the potential in the source back in 2021 really did do the most out of if, and it still brings a smile to my face even now.

...what do you MEAN this was also by eg_9371????

[winnow-girl]

song meme

Tagged by @girlbr0thers thank u bestie

Shuffle your on repeat playlist and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people

i'm shuffling my gigantic melting pot playlist because it's the most fun that way!

You Tell Me by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - oh a solid start. definitely one of my favorite tom petty songs tho i don't think it's very popular?

冬眠 (Toumin/Hibernation) by ヨルシカ (Yorushika) - i adore this song!! easily one of my favorite bands and a favorite song from their work <3 not quite seasonally appropriate anymore but still fantastic, the first guitar solo is stunning

Curses by The Crane Wives - oh another banger. my partner introduced me to this song and band years ago before we started dating and i've loved both ever since <3

Mama by My Chemical Romance (Live in Mexico City) - i don't know what to say. it's mcr. i blame @girlbrothers, you know what you did.

KICK BACK by 米津玄師 (Yonezu Kenshi) this song makes me want to jump around and scream, and then every time the bridge kills me in the best way. more songs should have chainsaw sounds in them imo

Dive into Your Fate by Falcom Sound Team jdk - shoutout to this being a vocal arrangement of a battle theme from a mildly obscure 2000s jrpg. i am fanatically obsessed with the trails games and this song is no exception lmao

Flatlands by The Aristocrats - one of my top 3 favorite instrumental rock songs and maybe even instrumental songs outright. three absolute titans of instrumental mastery just absolutely killing it.

Armor-Clad Faith by Arc System Works (i guess? you know what i mean) - easily the best Strive character theme save for Mirror of the World. this song makes me want to finally cave and buy a 7-string guitar.

Revive by Crying - oh hey! listening to this song without the context of the rest of the songs on the album around it always feels weird but still a killer. it scratches my brain in such a great way, i feel like i'm watching the world's most relaxing blinding array of flashing lights

Fantasy by LAMA - huh. an interesting way to end this. i really like this song but it's mostly on here because it's the ending theme to UN-GO which everyone should go watch right now. right now. i'm not joking. anyway the song is fun, good to vibe to!

okay i absolutely do not have ten people to tag for this but i'll tag @latkejoon !

[astrolaurical]

Hey

It's the same girl who asked about your opinion on my 10 year old cousin thinking Jungkook will marry her

I just wanted to ask

Is it normal that Every ARMY(some non-ARMYs too) around me thinks that someone from BTS gonna marry them? Or is it just people around me???

Everyone are delulu omg😭

I have too many stories about these girls

I (forcefully) checked what they were talking about and checked your Tumblr and I was so thankful someone was normal. I almost thought Everyone were like that

And Yes I told her to stay in School

I think everyone has a secret fantasy about marrying their favorite celebrity. That’s why celebrities and idols exist and why boy bands are so successful. I’m really showing my age but omg the frenzy in the 90s and early 2000s around NYSNC and The Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears?? Unparalleled. Then in the late 2000s we saw it again with Justin Bieber and One Direction. The Josie and Pussycats film (SLAY) makes fun of the entertainment industry the entire movie by even parodying boyband obsession, product placements, and the trend cycles. The movie went over so many peoples’ heads when it was released so it bombed at the box office but it’s a cult classic for a reason. Highly recommend to watch!!! Also aging myself again by admitting I had both the dvd AND soundtrack as kid bc the songs are bangers. Honestly the 90s-2000s in general just rocked. This is the only meme I have of the film but see the product placement and the mockery of boy bands? Genius.

The 1D documentary is a perfect example of the boy band frenzy that JATP film was mocking bc they even had a small scene where they had a neuroscientist or someone similar in that profession (I haven’t seen the movie in a few years so I’m not 100% sure but I was a hardcore 1d stan and have the dvd bc their live vocals honestly slap. Their concert cover of teenage dirtbag in the movie?? Still waiting for the actual recording bc chefs kiss). Anyway the neuroscientist was saying that corporations/ music companies have these formulas to create the perfect idol down to a t after studying the phenomenons of rabid Beatles and Elvis fans in the 50/60s. It has to do with the happiness chemicals in the brain. Combine those with good looks and music? You can’t help but fall in love. The entertainment industry then purposely directs their carefully molded artists to vulnerable audiences (preteens, teens, women) because they will buy more products. Casey Aonso (another fellow 1d stan wassup girl) YouTube video describes their XFactor era HILARIOUSLY. War flashbacks. The clips about HOW BAD each individual one direction members auditions were but you could see the $$$ in the judges eyes bc the boys were good looking and you could tel the judges were plotting how to sell the boys good looks. And they did.

And boy do we know that formula works. Hybe overprices bts products on Weverse shop and y’all eat it up and sell it out every time. $200 for a REPACKAGED cd. Weren’t they selling like a $1000 product recently? But even Jin had to be like “nah for my Astronaut comeback yall not gonna be selling hella expensive pajama pants like last time tho. We don’t price gouge in this house”. All hail jin.

I’ve talked a lot about parasocial relationships and media training, etc. While I think it’s fine to have a secret fantasy about marrying *insert celebrity crush name here*, I think it’s important to realize it’s a FANTASY. Fun to think about and daydream to, but NOT REALISTIC when trying to plan a future around or with. Go play the childhood game of MASH or make a SIMS family with Jungkook as your husband. That’s fine and normal. But don’t be going around telling people he’s your boyfriend. That’s delusion. I’ve included a perfect real life example of healthy young fangirling in the tags.

EDIT JUNE 11 2023:

I happened to come across this tik tok video yesterday that also explains delusion and obsession. I think it applies to “fangirling” especially well. TW for trauma.

[jaqobis]

Rules: pick an artist or a band and share your favorite song from each of their albums, then tag some mutuals!

tagged by @novasforce !

oh boy okay tonight we're gonna talk about fall out boy! not every album because i'm not super familiar with all of them, but here we go:

from under the cork tree: Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued hilarious name, total bop, what is there not to love?

infinity on high: Thnks fr th Mmrs literally how can i say anything else?? the number of times i've listened to this song is a fact that is between me and god and no one else.

save rock and roll: Alone Together okay this was a really hard choice, i really love a lot of songs of this album equally?? shout out to just one yesterday, my songs know what you did in the dark, and death valley

american beauty/american psycho: The Kids Aren't Alright THIS WAS AN EVEN HARDER CHOICE i honestly love this entire album a lot. i can't even make a runners up list it'd just be everything. shout out to irresistible for the iconic mv staring doug the pug

mania: Hold Me Tight or Don't please don't ask me how many times i've listened to this album. every single song is a banger. this was like trying to pick a favorite sloth baby. it just can't be done. don't believe me? try googling sloth babies and look me in the eye and tell me you can choose a favorite. that's what i thought you fucking liar.

so much (for) stardust: Love from the Other Side this album isn't out in full yet but you'd best believe i am hype as a motherfucker for it. both songs dropped have been top tier.

not tagging anyone! whoever's interested feel free to do this meme!

[jabberwockprince]

OHH TY ERI, turns out I did know more than onionshipping bc I remember seeing heartmonitor around!!

shipnames are so fun to think abt, romantic or not. like. food stuff names?? god tier. named after songs or bands that suit their dynamic? outstanding. a phrase/concept that makes you think of them a la RWBY? amazing

im on my way to work but I have some ideas for just general things to attribute to characters! if that makes sense!

for Eve related stuff, aside from eyes or hands, maybe fashion related things like different textile fabrics, cuts, trends or brands even (or like can you imagine Tatiana/Eve being Devil Wears Prada. as in. like the movie. do you guys see my VISION) also also artistic movements or techniques (chiaroscuro would be a banger fucking name for Eve/DK West since its like. contrast/duality between light and shadows. eves entire dual stuff and DK West is straight up the shadow puppet man)

1010/Neon J related stuff, the obvious war/navy terminology and weaponry stuff. or kpop terms cause All Kill is another banger of a name. electricity stuff is also fun (consider Eve/1010 as Electric Chair please its so funny). actually these mfs might be the easiest to make shipnames out of bc theyre color coded LMFAO

Mayday related stuff having names based on actual rock bands and songs. thats it, thats all i got. this is for all rock lovers to go crazy thinking abt bands and songs that could apply to relationships involving Mayday. or Tatiana's Kul Fyra era too while we're at it. or even Kliff. Basically these three mfs who are closely related to rock as a genre i guess

also we have to start talking abt Zuke being a massive music nerd, we have to use this info for our naming purposes guys. i dont know shit abt actual music so thats all I have to offer

and the more obvious ones like. Tatiana related stuff being gem/rocks/volcano/elements etc related (Fool's Gold for Tatiana/Kliff?? bc of the idolization/parasocial themes?? or Tatiana/Papa??? bc of the gold theme they both have??). DJ Sub having space stuff. Sayu being games/vtuber/memes/social media stuff bc of how the Sayu Gang met thru deviantart etc

wakes up in a cold sweat

if Zuke/Rin is onionshipping does that mean Zuke/Eloni is just. onion ring.

[radramblog]

Album Discussion- Americana

This is going to be kind of an interesting one, because it is probably the best known album of anything I’ve ever discussed on this entire blog- possible exceptions being the early Linkin Park stuff or maaaaybe some of the Radiohead. As such, there’s a much higher chance that you, the reader, have listened to some or all of this record before.

However, from what I’ve seen, The Offspring aren’t nearly as well known by those in my generation as compared to the one above. For reference, this album came out the year I was born, and by the time I was old enough to have any opinion on them, the band was kind of dead in the water. Except apparently, I’m full of it, because they just released an album this year.

Regardless, Americana was the peak of the group’s popularity, and kind of a turning point for American punk in general. I’m not intimately familiar with the landscape at the time, for obvious reasons, but at the very least this album proved the genre still had chops that could move through the turn of the millennium. Does it hold up, though?

Eh…?

After a brief welcome via stitched-together automated phone message, we get carried into Have You Ever. This track is a lot more uptempo than I was expecting, a speed led by the consistently rapid percussion that almost drags the remaining instrumentation with it. I’m also actually a big fan of the huge shift the song takes for the last minute, into an outro that feels almost anthemic in its repetition. I think both “halves” of this song are pretty solid in their own right- though if I’m honest, I kind of wish we got to spend more time in the outro. While the first half is good, the vocal delivery and melodies of the outro are a lot of fun, despite the arguably bleak lyrics.

Staring at the Sun, the next track, unfortunately reminds me of another 90s song- that being Walking on the Sun by Smash Mouth. Say what you will about them, they’re obviously quite the meme at this point, but that song is a genuine banger, and when listening to Staring at the Sun I just kind of wish I was listening to that one. Nothing wrong with this track, though- it’s fast, has some fun little shredding going on, and while it’s not working with that many ideas, it’s at least brief enough that it doesn’t tire out those it does have.

Ah. We’re already here.

I don’t know if Pretty Fly (For a White Guy) was intended to be a joke song, but it certainly sounds like it was. It’s got cowbell (but doesn’t commit to it like Don’t Fear the Reaper does), it’s got lyrics that poke fun at Vanilla Ice, and it has everything in that introduction. It is without a doubt extremely silly.

To the point where I found it unlistenable for a long time. It hasn’t aged well- the “UH HUH UH HUH” just sounds incredibly cringy, the female vocals (turns out that’s not a sample) are kind of awkward, and the riffs aren’t interesting enough to carry the track without them. I had a very hard time taking the song seriously, because it didn’t seem like it wanted to be taken seriously. I didn’t get it.

And then I found out what the song is about, and it kind of clicked. It’s supposed to be dumb and cringy, it’s making fun of a specific type of guy that you probably saw a lot of in those days- the guy that acts like he’s cool and tough for what is effectively cultural appropriation. Turns out The Offspring had that shit figured out long before it became an internet buzzword. It must  have been more obvious at the time, but I’m so separated from this song’s extremely specific topic both temporally and spatially that it doesn’t connect as easily to me.

And by this point, I do at least respect Pretty Fly (For a White Guy) as what it is. I still don’t really like it as a song, but I can acknowledge that it got as huge as it did for a reason. It’s somehow more radio-friendly than the previous two tracks on the album.

I had forgotten that one of the silliest songs to ever end up a massive hit single was followed by such a heavy track that was also a massive hit single. The Kids Aren’t Alright is one I immediately understood…possibly because it’s only getting more relevant as time goes on. It hasn’t really gotten better in 20 years, huh?

I really like this song, frankly. It’s not super complex, but everything in it just works. The subtle harmonies in the vocals (and the “woah-oh”s that the song completely owns), the instrumentation, and the lyrics are all extremely solid. It’s a very solid, nostalgia/desperation tinged tune that is a huge surprise coming from this band, not to mention what immediately precedes it. Unlike with Pretty Fly, I don’t have some journey with this track- I like this sucker as soon as I heard it.

And immediately after two singles, we’re back to aggressive shredding with Feelings. It’s kind of odd, the way they stick out so much. This one is definitely in a lower register than the other two tracks that sound like this, giving it a bit more of an edge, but beyond that it doesn’t really stand out too much. The solo goes way harder than I would have expected, though- honestly the track might be worth it just for that. I just wish it was louder in the mix.

Moving on, Track 7 is She’s Got Issues (you didn’t miss one, the opening was like 9 seconds). I…think this is trying to be as ironic as Pretty Fly, but it really doesn’t land. What might be trying to make fun of a dude constantly bitching about his girlfriend just kind of comes off as The Offspring whining about their girlfriend. I do remember doing a bit of a double take at hearing the lyric that confirmed that people calling their sexual partners “daddy” isn’t a recent thing. I wasn’t aware this was a single, honestly, and it’s mediocre enough that the only way it stands out is by not sounding like the album tracks.

Speaking of album tracks, Walla Walla has a very silly introduction, but is a lot of fun for a song about a prison. Honestly, like, all these album tracks would probably go great in a mosh or at a high-energy party. Walla Walla is just kind of a jam, you can bop to it pretty well. I feel a little guilty about vibing to a song on this topic, but the track isn’t grim or anything. It’s just like, lol dumbass enjoy your sentence: the song.

There really isn’t much I have to say about the remaining album tracks. The End of the Line does have a ten-note “whoah”, which is kind of a ballsy move and yet completely what I’d expect- not to mention some fun panned echoes in the bridge. The riffs in No Brakes are surprisingly sicknasty, though that’s kind of all it has going for it in particular. The title track, Americana, sounds completely different to the rest of the album, though, with this slow, spacey, almost deranged introduction- and then you get to the song proper and it’s like, oh never mind we’re doing the same thing again. We’ll get to the final two songs in a moment, but I do want to stress that all these songs are good at baseline. They’re bouncy, rocky punk jams that are a good listen if you’re trying to keep yourself going fast at something, or to keep spirits and/or energy high. I’ve said time and time again, but there is nothing wrong with album tracks, and I similarly have no issue with these.

I do, however, take issue with Why Don’t You Get A Job. It’s trying to be a campfire song, with the sing-a-long style and acoustic guitar, but I just find this song impossibly annoying. It’s passive aggressive in the worst way, effectively just people bitching out at people- and like, I don’t care if the lyrics imply they’re justified, it’s grating. The song is repetitive, with the fourth verse being the same as the first but with the pronouns (and gendered insults) flipped, and it just goes on. Never has a sub-3 minute track felt this agonising. I’m sorry to go off if you’re a fan of this song, but given the choice, I would excise it from this album in a heartbeat.

(God, dude, I’m fucking trying to get a job, get off my back!)

Our final track is Pay the Man, one that’s…um. Completely different in every way to the rest of the album. It feels genuinely prog/psych-esque, with this loose instrumentation and incredibly long introduction. The tempo is also much slower than the rest of the album, with the whole thing feeling much more deliberate than the chaotic thrashing that precedes it. The way the vocals are de-emphasized in this song is a great signifier that this one is trying to be more, and I’d argue it succeeds. You could tell me this was an obscure King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard track, and I’d believe you.

About halfway through, the tempo shifts, and the rhythm gets swingy, as the song progresses into a completely different mode. It’s much more in line with the rest of the album now, but the swing legitimately adds a lot to make it stand out anyway. The vocals are kind of back on their bullshit, but the surrounding instrumentation elevates them quite a bit- I don’t want to keep comparing to different bands, but this sounds very Tool.

I should mention that this song is over 8 minutes long- it’s over twice the length of the next longest song (for reference, it’s Have You Ever), and it’s great. It’s a surprise payoff for sticking with the album through its ups and downs, and one I seriously appreciate.

There is one more thing here, though. At the very end of the album, is a reprise of Pretty Fly. It’s…interesting? I suppose the style better suits the Spanish lyrics. It’s like the alternate universe version of this song that’s making fun of white people pretending they’re Latin American rather than African American.

So closes Americana. It’s kind of a weird one- the album would be incredibly cohesive, as every album track save Pay the Man has a very consistent style that you could just plop on and jam to for half an hour. But you can’t, really, because the singles have been sprinkled through- while The Kids Aren’t Alright is both good and would work in this theoretical recut, the other three just don’t really fit in here. And while Pretty Fly has earned my respect, She’s Got Issues and Why Don’t You Get A Job absolutely have not.

Maybe it’s just because I’m so far apart from the material at this point. The songs on this album are positively caked in 90s irony, which isn’t something I grew up in. Again, no shame if you enjoy those two, but they make it really hard to give this album my full recommendation.

Semi-relatedly, and as a way of closing this post out- Dexter Holland, the lead singer, stated in a 1995 interview that he didn’t want to be a musician forever, and would rather be a professor. And eventually, in 2017, he would finish his PhD in, of all things, molecular biology, becoming a published virologist and respected researcher. It’s just completely wild to me that the guy went from a hugely popular 90s act to doing super relevant research in my field of interest. Maybe someday I might be able to pull off the reverse, hm?

[mxrisacoulter]

I was tagged by @lmillers (thank you 🥰)

Name/nickname: Melissa, Mel, Mels, Melsey (you get the idea)

Star sign: Aries/Taurus cusper (yeh I hate it too)

Height: Maybe like 170cm?

Birthday: April 20th (420 blaze it lmao)

Time: 22:01

Favorite bands: basically Bastille and Nothing But Thieves, but I also like Blossoms and The 1975

Favorite solo artists: Declan McKenna, Grimes, Matt Maeson, Hozier

Song stuck in my head: I have that dumb ding dang dong song from rpdr UK last week in my head lmao

Last movie: me and the girls have all been watching The Little Stranger ✌️

Last show: The Great

When did I create this blog: May 2013

Last thing I googled: ok so I think it was technically 'The Little Stranger lesbian Ruth Wilson', but this is bc I'm sure there's an interview when she said she asked Sarah Waters if Caroline was a lesbian and she said no and I was trying to find it cause I thought it'd be iconic if she'd just gone ahead and played it that way anyway (I didn't find the interview 😔)

Do I get asks: uhh if I reblog ask memes I do get some now probably bc I have active followers again now (pls send me asks I love it)

Why I chose my url: idk it's a mystery

Following: 1,070, but I need to go through cause I'm sure 90% of them are inactive

Average hours of sleep: idk, but I have a follower who'd be able to tell you

Lucky number: idk

Instrument: yeahhh babey. I'm a pretty good pianist and begrudging violinist. I'm from a pretty musical family, so we also have a lot of weird instruments, incl but not limited to about 5 ukuleles, a harp my grandpa made, a didgeridoo, some harmonicas, an accordion, some panpipes and a couple guitars, all of which I've messed around with to varying levels of success.

What am I wearing: pyjama bottoms and dressing gown + the shirt I was wearing today to remind me to shower

Dream job: I like sewing costumes and researching old clothes, so hopefully there's something there

Dream trip: top two places I want to go are Iceland and San Francisco

Favorite song: I have a lot of like actually good songs I like, but the one song that I will want to listen to whatever mood I'm in is Believe by Mikolas Josef (pls don't judge me if you look it up. It's a banger)

Nationality: English (derogatory)

Last book I read: oh god I haven't read anything in ages. I guess the last audiobook I listened to was The Amber Spyglass

Idk if you've already done this, but I'll tag @iressails cause I'm scared of everyone else

[charmspoint]

37 for the fic writer questions!

Ask meme here

37. Talk about your current wips

This is great I was thinking of listing out everything im working on these days anyway n now i get an excuse. For quite a few of these I cant talk about them actually cuz they are event stuff but imma list em anyway.

(This got long so im putting it under keep reading)

Lets! Categorize!

A) Ready to post!

Here we have my ShinKami bb fic: No Escape (coming out tomorrow) and my DabiHawks bb fic: Red string of death (coming out sunday) - obvs cant say much until they are posted, lets just say that for shinkami we are gettin some horror and dabihawks gets double banger of soulmate au x reincarnation au but like angsty

B) Currently in editing

Pieces for: DabiHawks metamorphos zine, LOV found family zine and villain/vigilante deku zine - since they are zines i feel like its a big no no to talk about them so we goin down

C) Currently writing

A secret santa piece and a piece for todobaku bb - one of these is actually cute couple things and the other is be dumping magic and horror on to a shipping fic again i obviously have a thing for that the more i think about these

D) Currently planing

Shinsou bigbang! (Do NOT judge me for how many events im in) anyway im super looking forward to this i feel like i have such a great idea n mmm we arent even to partnering up yet so i zip

DabiHawks secret admierer au - something i can talk about :0. This was one of my pitches for the metamorphos au n i got attached. The basic premise is: no powers high school au, local bad boy band member Touya is pining hard after straight A good boy Keigo and in atempt to confess his feelings he leaves a love song in his locker. The problem? Dabi is super fucking edgy and so is his song and upon reading it Keigo is 100% Dabi wants him dead. Shennaniganse ensue. LOV is there giving Dabi increasingly bad love advice, Rumi is there mostly to laugh her ass of and then do dramatic reading of the song, im gonna write actual songs for it!!! Anyway just lil slice of life school comedy, im not always about horror and angst belive it or not. Im looking forward to this one it should be fun!

All the beautiful things we are (All the dangerous things we will become) - another chuuya gen fic!! This one featuring Kouyou (n maaaaaybe Kyouka) in some good ol sibling bonding. Set earlier then The suffocating quality of your dying breaths, its basically kouyou taking chuuya under her wing and some good sibling bonding that will probably feature some good ol exploration of gender expression and just kouyou wrestling a brat into a suit. I just want some good chuuya n kouyou n some decent chuuya experimenting with dressing up n darn it ill make it myself

There are a few more that are in my notes as possible ideas but these are the ones im sure ill write so i dont wanna promise anything i wont do

E) On hiatus

TodoBaku murder mystery - my original idea for the todobaku bb, i wanted to challenge myself n write something i never did before but then college slapped me n ye i went back into the comfort zone. I still wanna do this one someday, probably over summer. Basic concept: normal life au, Enji Todoroki is found dead in his bed and detective! Bakugo is on the scene trying to determin did any of the family members, gathered that night to celebrate their mother returning from a hospital, have anything to do with it while trying super hard not to fall for the one Todoroki that keeps sticking his nose where it doesnt belong. Featuring: literally everyone having a motive and Bakugo being done with the family drama, Dabi being in a gang and acting like he owns the place, and ice skater Shouto both too dumb and too smart for his own good. We will see does anything come of it.

Season of rain - omegaverse light fic where i, an asexual, look at a trope purely made for kink and go 'what if for me tho?'. I call it light cuz i wont be writing any sex but u know me its heavy on angst. Featuring: Deku squad as a ship, omega sho n izu, alpha uraraka n beta iida n tsuyu. Dealing with such topics as: postpartum depression, sexisam, fear of alphas, arranged marriges, pack dynamics, betas having an actual role and importance, maneging poly reletionships, me harping on about how ideal number of parents is actually more than two and that if there were three genders standard reletionships would be expected to be a x b x o not just a x o. Aka me putting way too much worldbuilding into a kink trope. Basic premise: seeing as shouto turned out to be an omega, instead of training him to be a hero enji signs him of to enter a quirk marrige when he gets older just like rei. Years later shouto has just gotten out of a divorce and with a whole baby in tow is taken in by dekusquad. Hurt comfort ensues as they slowly work shouto into their dynamic and make him feel safe and loved again. Honestly i just want to give this one more time n attention that i have rn so its waiting for summer

Ashes to ashes - a dabihawks (maybe) post war au fic that was supposed to focus on Dabi facing what he has done and who he has become and the almost imposible process of changing yourself for the better when you spent all your life chasing one thing, on one side and on the other; Hawks recovering fron trauma caused by almost being killed, dealing with his newly growing wings causing him pain and being afraid he'll never fly quite the same again and trying to find connections among other heroes just cuz i say he needs friends. Both of them are dealing with very mixed emotions about each other and they work through them seperatly and together, trying to set everything that happend into a perspective and figure out where to go from there. I havent decided do they actually get back together or not by the end of it all. I was planing this and then hori dumped dabis crazy ass on me n now im mostly waiting to see what he does with him so i know what to do with him in the end, smh hori making my life hard :/

[gabbiemp3]

one direction albums ranked

5. made in the am

energetic and dynamic, but probably no one’s favorite. the unexpected and uncharacteristic surprise dropping of its insanely successful lead single, drag me down, was the band’s less than subtle way of alerting the public that they were alive and well in the wake of zayn’s departure. i can’t help but feel like this is the motive of the entire album. with its regression to the safe pop its predecessor four dared to challenge, the album feels contrived and rushed. some moments on it sound like an AI algorithm that averaged out their entire discography to generate a “One Direction Song”. Its occasional attempts to try something new are nice but ultimately gimmicky, preventing it from overcoming its ulterior motives--to be the band’s last hurrah (commercially and culturally) before the “hiatus” (you can tell us you broke up) we all should’ve seen coming. 

this doesn’t mean there aren’t some tried-and-true fan favorites on this album. songs like infinity, olivia, if i could fly, and of course, the fandom-homage history (easily the album’s strongest single) hold a special place in fan’s hearts. 

best: what a feeling, wolves, history, olivia

4. up all night

the iconic red double decker bus. louis’ toms and blue stripes. niall’s adorable crooked teeth. the flaming jealousy we all experienced as we watched harry sing the bridge of WMYB to a girl on the beach. this is an album that brings me nostalgia for a time in the fandom i wasn’t even a part of.

up all night is shimmery, camp, and more than a little embarrassing. (i genuinely can’t listen to stole my heart without bursting into uncontrollable laughter.) 

it’d be a lie, though, to say it isn’t freaking EARNEST. gotta be you is melodramatic (what a mess i’ve made upon your innocence/no woman in the world deserves this) but the boys give it their all--shoutout to my mans harry. same mistakes is obviously too mature to be on this album but zayn delivers an emotional and skilled vocal performance indicative of the standout status he’ll claim for the rest of their discography (until it’s so potent he decides to move on to his own). 

although it’s not very re-listenable, i will always have a soft spot for it, and i’m sure you guys do too. 

best: one thing, stand up

3. four

ah, yes. the Mature album. coincidentally, my favorite album from my top artists always seems to be this said “mature” effort (see: Taylor Swift’s Speak Now, Paramore’s Brand New Eyes). not true in this case, but still a good album. 

one direction goes very middle-aged-white-dad on us (unsurprisingly it’s my own dad’s fav). the singles from this album sort of tell you all you need to know about their direction on this one--80s-inspired rocky, else folksy. four is smooth and genuinely pleasant to listen to. it’s possibly their most cohesive effort (other than take me home), minus the out-of-place the 1975 ripoff change your ticket (hey, i’m not saying i don’t like this song, it’s actually good fun) and closer act my age, which is only forgivable because it’s become a meme in the fandom. 

four sees one direction at a place in their career where they don’t need to (and are maybe even tired of) making typical bankable pop songs, so they decided to experiment, and overall it worked. 

best: 18, fool’s gold, no control

2. midnight memories

one direction tries to do a lot of things on this album. do they all work? no. is it still damn good and jam packed with ABSOLUTE bangers? yes!

this album came at the peak of their career. their first stadium tour was for this album. this was the album that came out when i was just starting to become a full-fledged 1d stan.

it’s their first album that they really had a say in, in terms of production and songwriting. and you can tell. the songs feel authentic. for the first time, these boys are singing about things they actually believe in or have experienced. it’s why i forgive it for being kind of a mess. (what other album boasts a cheeky but admittedly novel love song composed of titles of other songs and a McFly-written 'remember your roots’ anthem? songs as antithetical as the minimalistic guitar ballad half a heart and the 70s rock jam little black dress?) the boys had been waiting three years to take the reigns, and they wanted to try everything. who could blame them?

finally, this album exemplifies what makes one direction so great: heart. it’s a record that is alive (no pun intended), and full of genuinely poignant moments. 

side note: i am so glad that my first 1d concert was during the where we are tour, because these tracks were MADE for arenas. 

best: little white lies (duh), strong, happily, right now

1. take me home

if you know me, you know i love a good pop album, in all of its saccharine, cliche glory. tmh may not be one direction’s smartest or best-produced album, but it’s definitely the most dopamine-inducing (that neuroscientist in This is Us said it himself, folks). and isn’t that primarily what one direction is all about? let’s be honest. we never listened to one direction to become more cultured, or question the structures and relationships in place in our lives, we listened because they make us, for lack of a better word, happy. 

and this album makes me soar. it’s one direction at their most cheeky, their most infectious, their most head-over-heels for you, the listener. just try to listen to songs like i would and little things and not swoon. it’s impossible! 

it’s one direction at their most one direction. and it’s so much fun. 

i don’t care that some say this album is manufactured or carefully calculated under all those layers of carefree teenage energy. they’re probably right! one direction’s production team probably exacted this record to be eaten up by a young, doe-eyed tweeny bopper like i was the first time i heard it. and that’s exactly what i did. i gladly took it then, and i will gladly take it today. 

best: nobody compares, loved you first, last first kiss, heart attack, c’mon c’mon 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #205

forget picking song lyrics, i’m going the hell to bed now.

Do you live by yourself? I live with my mom. Do you like cleaning? Does anyone???? Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I've never watched the series; not even a single movie, actually. So I don't have an opinion. Do you watch PewDiePie? Extremely rarely. He's funny, but I'm not interested in his channel's content anymore. Do you like "Despacito?" My sister showed it to me once when she learned I'd never heard it, and I found zero appeal in it whatsoever. Do you play Pokemon Go? It's a brilliant idea, and I really do wish I could play it, but here where I live, there are like ZERO PokeStops (where you get Pokeballs), even in cities, so it's pretty much impossible. Did you ever color your hair pink? No. Do you like Dr. Phil? I don't watch the show and don't know him as a person. Do you prefer to be inside or outside? Inside. Do you eat meat? Sadly. I'm HOPEFULLY quitting when I get to the weight I want; I wasn't getting the nutrients I needed when I was vegetarian to where my body was desperately clinging to what it had or something like that (basically, my weight wouldn't budge in a couple of months), but even still, I don't know if I could do it without depriving myself again. I'm just such a picky eater. Do you need to do the dishes? Yeah. Not desperately, but. Are you scared of clowns? No. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? *checks* A very impressive 66. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you like McDonald's? Don't even lie to me, you'll eat there. I don't mind it at all. Do you have a Steam account? Yes. Do you like gaming? Not as much as I used to, but yes. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No. I don't consider jumpscares to be genuinely "scary," but rather a natural reaction to surprise, but FNAF's are intense, and I know they'd have me jumping like crazy. That aside, the games aren't of my personal appeal to actually play (though it's a fun game to watch). Do you like horror movies? Yes. Do you like chicken nuggets? I love me my chicken nuggies hunty. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. Can you twerk? I don't know and don't care to. Do you like dabbing? It looks stupid to me. The meme of it makes me laugh, though. What was the last country you visited? I've never left the country. Do you know your phone number? No, actually. It is incredibly difficult for me to memorize sequences, and besides, it's not like I give out my number almost ever. Do you swear in front of children? No. What’s your opinion on Brexit? Shit, I don't even remember what it's about. So obviously I can't have an opinion. It doesn't affect me, anyway. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? N/A When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I don't cook, and you'll never see me willingly eat a bean. What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? The two that sharply stand out to me are dissecting an owl pellet in elementary and a frog in middle school. Both were SO cool. What was the last strong emotion you felt? Excitement. After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? Only ever if it's Cinnamon Toast Crunch that I ate. And even then, only sometimes. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done? Overdosing. What’s the most severe allergic reaction you’ve ever had to something? Nothing severe, besides pollen allergies flaring up. What’s your favorite sub-genre of rock? Hard. Who was the last person to get frustrated with you, and why? Mom, but she was more than frustrated. We were having a serious fight about her attitude towards Dad and his wife. What’s something that makes absolutely zero sense to you? Anti-vax shitlords. What’s your phone background? Lock screen is Darkiplier, home screen is Sara kissing my forehead. :'> Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. Do you have a fitness tracker? No. What types of animals have you had as pets? A billion cats, dogs, snakes, lizards, rats, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits, fish, box turtles, hermit crabs... and probably more. How well do you understand economics? Have you ever taken an econ class? Not well at ALL. I had one my senior year. What was the last fruit you ate? I had two bites out of a watermelon 'cuz I was really hungry, but we didn't really have anything as a snack. (I fast daily, so I have to watch when my meals are.) I'm not a big watermelon fan, but I hadn't tried these cubes before, and at least it was something. Can you remember your first day of school? I believe I can very faintly... very faintly. I think I had a complete breakdown because of my insane separation anxiety regarding my mom, or it was the complete opposite... alskdfjaweiajr it's like I can kinda see it in the back of my head, but it's super blurry. What’s your favorite movie? The Lion King. It was my favorite as a kid and became so again as an adult just truly acknowledging how damn good and meaningful it is. Plus the soundtrack was a banger. Would you rather jump out of an airplane or go scuba diving? Scuba diving. Do you get bored looking at other peoples’ holiday pictures? Eh. If it's a whole lot, yes, but as a photographer, I enjoy noting which ones I like and why I favor them. Do you give money to charity? Not currently, no. I have no money to give. When I do have a paying job, I plan on definitely donating any time Mark does a charity stream. Are you more into music or movies? Music, easily. When was the last time you went to a swimming pool? WOW. It's been years. Either when I still lived in the apartment or once at Colleen's in-laws', I can't remember which was last. Would you rather have a pet snake or a pet turtle? I have a snake, and I'll take another for sure. Have you ever seen a band live? Who was the last you saw? Just Alice Cooper. Ma and I are seeing Ozzy next year (if the poor man ain't dead), tho!!!! And he's gonna be with Judas Priest and Megadeth. We are NOT going to survive. Do people who use massive amounts of emoticons annoy you? Yes. Emojis, more specifically. If you're writing a sentence and you use an emoji after each and every goddamn word, it drives me up a wall. What was the last clothing item you bought? Underwear, I believe? Or a bra? What does your washing powder smell like? Idk. Normal? Do you have a dishwasher or do you do dishes by hand? By hand, which I cannot explain how much I loathe. It feels disgusting. Are there any cobwebs in your room? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever used a pick-up line and had it work? Ew, I'd never use one to begin with. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No to both. The current modelling industry is so, so harmful. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Like around two years ago, I remember going on a mass destruction episode of those super old things, as they embarrassed me horribly, even though I know it had no real reason. Just everything I create embarrasses me. My mom has old school stuff, though. Who did you last have an argument with? Mom today. When was the last time you cooked for yourself? If you include putting things in the microwave with few steps... not that long ago. Maybe two days back. Do you have a safe? Mom does. When was the last time you saw a relative? Mooonths ago when Grammy and her husband were driving through. My brother and his son are visiting real soon, though!! Do you shout out the answers at quiz shows? Yes, lol. Have you ever been in a TV audience? I've been to like three-four hockey games, so yeah. Have you ever entered the lottery? Won anything? No. Well, Mom or Dad would rarely get those scratch-off tickets at random, but the most we've ever got was just like five bucks or so. Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Have you ever drawn on a wall in your house? No. Do you like making collages? No. Have you ever kept a scrapbook? Yeah. What’s your favorite video-game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Sigh, I want a PS4 SO bad to get the SotC remaster. I actually teared up when I saw the opening cutscene for the first time, and I just marveled through the EEEEEEENNNNtire playthrough I watched. It's unbelievable. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? Not off the top of my head. I'm tired, don't make me think. Have you ever made up a word? Well, as a writer, I've made up names and places. A word itself, I don't think so. Do you get nervous speaking to people you don’t know on the phone? VERY!!!!!!!! Are you scared of anything irrational? You mean like, half my fears? Do you have a passport? What’s the picture like? No. Have you ever had a full fringe? (bangs) As a kid I did. Is there anything you would never admit to liking? Don't think so. What’s the weirdest craze you can remember? Fidget spinners. Do you use bug spray or fly swatters? Fly swatters. Then we also have this hanging cylindrical sticky... thing that flies and gnats are apparently attracted to with the smell, I guess. Works like magic, though I agree it's pretty cruel. Just stuck there until you die. Are you a clumsy person? Boy, am I. Do you have tiled floors in your house? In three rooms. Do you listen to any movie soundtracks regularly? No. Do you bruise easily? Way too easily. Like normally something simple won't leave behind an obvious one, but even a normal poke in the arm hurts a lot and leaves the spot sore for a good while. I was tested for anemia, but apparently, I don't have it. What would you love to learn to do? Play the electric guitar. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Ehhh... lemurs as far as cute goes, monkeys overall. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot. Do you have any phone charms on your mobile? No. What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? That's a big 'ole honkin' nope. Last time you puked from drinking? Never. Have you ever gotten drunk and danced on a bar? No. What is your favorite simple ice-cream flavor? Vanilla. Though sometimes I prefer chocolate. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? Only for dinner. I forgot the science behind it, but one of my meds for bipolarity only works to its full effect after ingesting at least 350 calories; I only get about a 20% effectiveness of the medicine when eating less. I know it sounds weird, but my psychiatrist is a goddamn genius, and I trust every word that comes out of his mouth. When was the last time you slept on the floor? Two years ago when I was living with Colleen and I didn't have a blow-up mattress yet. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? When???????????????? do I?????????????? not???????????????????????????????????? Do you wear flip-flops? That's pretty much all I wear just about year-round... I remember in 7th grade, one of my teachers asked me about it a lot and I just told her I didn't mind the cold, which was true. Pretty sure she thought I was lying and was too poor to buy new clothes or something, as she gifted me socks one day, which I thought was incredibly sweet. I miss my 7th grade teachers. Best school year. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Pretty sure my niece Aubree when saying bye. What is your favorite sauce to eat with spaghetti? Normal Prego sauce, I think. Have you ever seen a magic show? A little one as a kid. When was the last time you vomited and why? Months and months ago when I was testing a medication. Quit that shit real fast, as it made me sick so many times. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Uhhh I eat in my bed usually, lmao. We almost never sit at the table. I normally do if Mom's there, though. How often do you get headaches? Ugh, often. Why did you call the last person you called? I was calling back about my job application that I was supposed to hear about yesterday. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Two. Do you have Facebook friends that you’ve never actually met? Yes. When was the last time you had your photo taken professionally? Not since senior pictures, pretty sure. I hated how it came out. I have a lazy eye when I smile, gah. How long does it take you to get to school or work? Currently N/A. Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both female, so. And neither of us want kids anyway. When was the last time you completely broke down? A couple weeks ago in a totally random and severe panic attack. Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to? Yeah. Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for? No. I'm not gonna, say, murder someone just because they want me to. What’s something you really want right now? To go and get my tattoo cleaned up by a more professional artist alsdkjfalwei. I got the approximate cost, I just have to wait until I can afford it. This tattoo is so so so important to me and it needs to be perfect. What is your relationship status? Taken. What was the longest time you’ve wasted on a certain person? Not even two weeks lmao. I said yes to dating mostly out of fear of hurting his feelings, and he QUICKLY proved he was NOT for me. Are you listening to music right now? Yeah, my iTunes is on shuffle. Anyone you would like to get things straight with? I wouldn't want to be friends I don't think, but I REALLY want to see Jason one final time to tell him how sorry I am. I recently acknowledged just how fucked up I treated him after the breakup; he wasn't the only one who made mistakes. I sure as hell did. He deserves to hear it badly. I do believe our last talk was a good ending, but I feel me finally admitting that I fucked up would be the perfect one. What was the best thing that happened to you today? Seeing Dad for his birthday. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I talk-talked to some WoW friends a couple days ago, though very very briefly. I couldn't figure Discord push-to-talk out and I ended up panicking lmao. What color are the last new pair of pants that you bought? Black. Is your room clean? I should dust and vacuum, but the latter doesn't currently work. List all the countries you’ve visited.  I've never left America. At what age would you allow your kids to dye their hair? Shit, whenever they wanted tbh. So long they sounded serious about it and it wasn't just a brief episode of "oh this would be cool." Which fast food place do you eat at the most? Hm. Wendy's or Sonic. When was the last time you weren’t lonely? Jesus fucking Christ, who knows. What kind of movies do you like? Horror, fantasy, Disney/kids' films, comedies, rom coms, and emotionally moving ones. Bats are not spooky or are they? They're adorable, omg. Do you think blue is a gay color? Fuck off. What's your opinion on gays? Fuck off harder. Do you like the song "Womanizer"? Don't even talk to me if you don't. Where is your favorite place to get fries? You can't live your fullest life without having Bojangle's fries at least once. Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents? Idk. Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? No. Who was the last person you had an in-depth conversation with? Sara. What was the last fast food item you ate? A hot dog. What is your favorite gaming console? You know PS2 was the best, you know it. What was the last major city you visited? Raleigh, if that even counts. Do you always have a stock of alcohol in your house? No. Have you ever had a pumpkin latte and if so, did you like it? I hate everything pumpkin-flavored. Is there an antique store in your town or city? I think so... Have you ever been to a baby shower? My sister's. Maybe others', but idr. Do you know anyone who has been to rehab? Pretty sure yes. How many romantic relationships have you been in so far? Genuinely "romantic" ones, two. Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? I am 99% sure I am the pickiest human being to ever live. Have you ever lived in a house with a pool in the yard? Not a built-in one. What color is your toothbrush? Blue. Do you have gluten intolerance or know anyone who does? I know a few people. Have you ever slept in a car overnight? No. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you avoid conflict as much as possible? YUP. Do you like ice cream cake? I'm not a big fan. Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex? Yes. Where is your second home!? The place I'm second-most comfortable is probably Sara's. What song always makes you sad? I avoid listening to "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides unless I just really, really want to hear it. I always tear up due to memories. Have you ever played a game that required removing your clothes? No. Where is your favorite place to be kissed? Breasts and neck. Were you mean as a little kid? No. Who was the last person you hung out with? Dad. What is your mother’s name? Donna. What is your favorite song at the moment? I've been in true love with a heavy metal cover of "Invincible" from the WoW soundtrack for like a full month. What day will you never forget? The breakup night. Suicide attempt. My niece and nephew being born. Meeting Sara. Getting Teddy. First time hanging out at Jason's. 16th birthday. Alice Cooper concert. Putting Dale and Cali down. There's a lot. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Some crazy shit on FB to show Sara. Something you're looking forward to? Getting a goddamn job. What is God teaching you right now? Lul. What does Notre Dame Cathedral mean to you, and how has its fire affected you? I was devastated to hear about it; it was the one event that actually got me paying attention to the news. It is a monument of incredible art and history, and for Catholics, a house of their god. I am so thankful the damage wasn't too tremendous. What’s the last dumb decision you made that you beat yourself up over? I dunno. Surprisingly. What’s your favorite version of the Bible to read? N/A If applicable, do you underline verses in your Bible? N/A When was the last time you went to church? Not since Colleen had her extreme Christian phase two years ago. What’s the last song you listened to on repeat? "Radio" by Rammstein. That new album's gonna be bangin'. Does your town’s hospital have a good reputation? NOPE. It sure does not. I have no issue with the psychiatric care unit there, though. Every time I went to the ER for suicidal thoughts or the attempt, they were sweethearts to me. But as far as physical health, they do NOT have a good rep. I know someone's grandfather that nearly fucking died thanks to them, and I can't recall what it was exactly, but Mom had some complaints during her kidney cancer treatment. What is your hometown known for? Crime. Are you longing for and missing a toxic person? I honestly miss Colleen sometimes, but I can't go back to her. I can't. I'm done giving her more chances than she deserves. It was nice to actually have someone to hang out with, but she is just overall not a pleasant person. What’s your greatest longing? Financial stability, probably. Have you ever read a Bible verse and thought, “this isn’t true”? BOY HOWDY- What are you behind on? Being an adult. I am 23 and a SOOOOOORRYYYYYY excuse for one. Is there someone who’s stolen from you and never got caught? Yes. Someone stole our basketball hoop from my childhood home. Have you been lonely for most of your life? Most of my life, no. What color is your sleeping bag? I don’t have one. When was the last time you used a sleeping bag, and what for? When I lived with Colleen and slept on the floor for a bit. Do you live near the woods? Yeah, there's woods across the road. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? List 1-3 ideas. I wanna be the dumb blonde witch from Hocus Pocus, lmao. A pastel vampire would be pretty cool. And Rhett from the "Sleep Tight" video has instilled in me the great desire to be a steampunk toothfairy at least once. List five things people have been jealous of you for. Idk. List five things you have felt jealous of other people for. More than anyone, a friend of many friends' photography success when I can genuinely and modestly say I really think I'm better than her. That is easily the worst envy situation I've dealt with (and still do), as this is the one that is actually almost spiteful, wrong as that is. Then I have another friend who is a FANTASTIC photographer as well and is now a professional one in the fashion industry, I believe. Then there was a girl I went to school with called Cailin whose drawing skills were naturally INCREDIBLE since elementary school, and I remember back then, me and her would always get the most attention for our work, but she did moreso, but I wanted to be the "best" artist. Once I hit high school I just had great respect for her talent. Next, one of my former best friends Hannia was a natural GENIUS that got perfect scores on LITERALLY almost anything; she had the highest GPA in the entire school, while I was right behind her. And uhhhh five... I have been and still am jealous of my sisters for being proper, successful adults. What is your favorite shade of brown? Like a caramel tone, I guess? What color is your toilet seat? White. Would you rather live in an apartment or a house? Definitely a house. What’s one thing you had growing up that you miss now? Energy. Do you prefer kale, lettuce, or spinach? Lettuce. Do you listen to instrumental bands such as Hammock, Trentemoller, etc.? No. Have you ever gotten a manicure or pedicure? Just because my sisters went and Mom wanted me to hang out with them. I may have with my old friend, too. Have you ever self-harmed? Yeah. Never the answer. Do you have any eating disorders? No. I'm afraid of developing one once I (hopefully) get to the weight I want, though. Have you ever met a celebrity? No. Do you like Monster Energy or do you prefer other energy drinks? I hate energy drinks. They taste like poison. Do you plan on getting married? Yeah. Do you want kids? That's a big fat nope. What’s your sexual orientation? I don’t judge. Bisexual. At what time of day do you normally feel the best? The morning. Name one reason why someone should not commit suicide. YOU. CAN. GET. BETTER. Seek professional help if you feel suicidal, and after what I understand is a serious struggle, you truly can go into the light at the end of the tunnel. You've got, to our understanding, one shot at this. Don't end it when there is a possibility for a beautiful future. If you’re unhappy, what would it take to make you fulfilled? Have a job and be in school. Name someone you know who is a cancer survivor. My mom. Are you friends with any cancer survivors? I don't think so. Do you wish the sunrise and sunset lasted longer? Hm. Sunset, maybe. Idk. Name a country whose history you know nothing about. Lmao most. What is your favorite store at the mall? Hot Topic. Do you have a bed or do you sleep on a mattress on the floor? I have a bed. When was the last time you went for a run? Shit, not since high school gym. Do you keep Christmas lights up year-round? No. What did you win a scholarship for? Nowhere. What type of bug do you see the most often in your home? Flies. Do you put off things until the last minute? I tend to. Is your mom the same size as you? No, I'm smaller. Do you know any Christians who aren’t judgmental? No shit. Do you still think of that Gwen Stefani song when you spell bananas? Ha ha yup. Do you like the way your hair naturally is, or do you change it? It's fine. But I want it dyed badly. Do you know anyone who died accidentally by doing something stupid? Yes. How many different languages have you taken in school? Latin and German. How tall is your father? (Estimate?) Idk. Over six feet. Would you meet Miley Cyrus if you had the chance? No. What is your favorite slow song? Oh yeesh. Idk. Maybe "See You On The Other Side" by Ozzy. Do you believe in karma? No. Do you constantly check your cell phone? No. Only Sara or Mom ever text me, and I pick it up just if the green light is blinking (means I have a message). If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? Well yeah. If you could spend 1 hour 20 years in the future, would you? Yes. I want to see where I am, so long as I can change my behavior to improve that future if needed. Otherwise, I don't wanna know. Are your pets asleep? Teddy probably is, Bentley might be, idk where Roman is, but he likely is, I can't see Mitsu from where I am currently, Venus may be (no eyelids, so you never know) as she's in her rock, and Kaiju is awake. Have you ever wished you were an only child? Never. Have you ever hurt someone on purpose? Yes. Have you ever gotten hurt while sledding? No. Do you enjoy going through old pictures? It depends on the subject of them and my mental state. Kid pictures I'm always up for, high school ones are okay, though they can make me really upset with how healthy and skinny I was, and I deleted all photos I had on Facebook of Jason and me last year so I couldn't even risk looking at them ever again, as there's a good chance some would trigger my PTSD. Of all your exes, who do you think you had the deepest feelings for? Jason, obviously. Do you tend to have a lot of drama in your life? I have the most uneventful, bland life. No. When’s the last time someone was disappointed in you? Idk. What song are you listening to right now? Is this one of your favorite songs? "Alone I Break" by Korn. No, but I love it. What is something you have to explain a lot? My sweating issue. Gross to talk about, but I sweat seriously excessively, like you would not believe. It can be 70 degrees and I'll be sweating in seconds. People worry about it, and in VR, I've had to explain it so many times due to it affecting suitable jobs (I think we can all agree being drenched in sweat at work looks extremely bad). Hopefully I won't have to anymore when my doctor decides what to do about it. It's most likely a thyroid issue, which I have no clue about how to subdue symptoms of. There's really a shitload I have to explain lately between doctors and VR... Which compliment do you receive the most? From those that know me/see me, that I'm losing weight. From people in general, "I love your hair" or something like that. Who were you last on the phone with? My sister. What is one thing you have always wondered? Uh. Idk. I'm sure there's a lot, just nothing's coming to me atm... What do your friends think about the music you listen to? Your family? My friends and I like similar stuff, as do my parents, especially Mom. My sisters are the total opposite of me and don't enjoy metal and the like at all. Has anyone ever told you to grow up? Essentially. Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? Hell no. How many true friends do you have? Excluding family and my girlfriend as they're more than that, like... one or two, it feels like most of the time. Can you honestly say you’re happy right now? No. What is something you are exceptionally bad at? Doing math in my head or spelling up there. AND READING LIPS. Do you have a house phone? No. Who do you love more than anyone right now? Don't make me choose between Mom and Sara. How much money do you have saved up? I literally have $11. Do you like bright/neon colors? Yes, but I prefer pastel. What is your favorite wild animal? Meerkats. Do you ever eat breakfast? I almost always do. Do you remember who your first grade teacher was? Yes. Have you ever won any trophies? What for? Yeah, for A honor roll all through elementary school (save for 5th grade; I got one B and was so upset, lmao), then in all kid sports I played, everyone got lil ones, some from dance I believe, and I think there's one or two others I'm not thinking of...

[backpackbrigade]

Backpack Playlist 6/13/19

I’m lazy!! And have been looking for a job!!!! So I forgot to actually post this!! RIP me!!! Anyway, here’s some good tracks I put together last month when it was actually June 13th lol. Playlist links at the bottom!

“Keyboard Song” - Arthur, Sweet Memory - Single (2018, PLZ Make It Ruins)

Imagine walking around at night alone, smoking a cigarette and contemplating all of your mistakes and failures. Then you kinda just say fuck it and stop sulking and just go out and have a good night. That’s the entire story of this song, and I am in love with it. Arthur is really just starting to make moves, but these moves are so interesting!!!

“Amour plastique” - Videoclub, Amour plastique - Single (2018, Self-released)

I’ll have a lot more to say about Tik Tok later on in this playlist, but here’s a strange and really weirdly catchy French lo fi pop track that made the rounds on the app because of a certain famous user who ended up getting caught up in an abuse scandal! Who knew that young white men posturing as “leftist” or “alt” are also really shitty and excuse abuse!! Either way, this song really kinda bumps and stays in your head all day.

“Yeah Right” - Vince Staples, Big Fish Theory (2017, Def Jam)

Yes, I’m putting SOPHIE tracks on back-to-back playlists, and I really don’t care! She can make a fucking banger of a club-rap song, and Vince/Kendrick just make the most of an incredible beat. Also apparently Hari Nef was sampled on this track, but I cannot figure out where.

“Neanderthal D*ke” - Tribe 8, Fist City (1995, Self-released)

Won’t pretend I discovered this track on my own, but the Popcast episode about Riot Grrrl turned me onto Tribe 8, and they fucking rule. There is literally a lyric about feminist theory being too uptight for butch lesbians, and there’s a lot to be said for their takedown of theoretical analysis that doesn’t allow queer women to live their true selves.

“Hard Feelings/Loveless” - Lorde, Melodrama (2017, Universal)

:) let me cry in peace pls (:

“The Associate” - The Associates, Fourth Drawer Down (1981, Union Square Music)

Weird industrial electro rock with some wild fugue moments that are great when you’re driving late at night and need to just get out of your head.

“There You Go” - Ruru, Far Out (2018, Self-released)

I found Ruru through Bandcamp, they’re this rad lo fi indie band from Kuala Lumpur, and everything they’ve put out so far has been top notch. Love this track bc it reminds me of smoking in my bathroom when I was 16 and playing fuzzy guitar vibes.

“Chemistry” - umru & Lewis Grant, Search Result - EP (2018, PC Music)

New-ish PC Music signee who worked on some Charli stuff for Pop 2, looking forward to seeing him expand and make some more emotive stuff like this.

“Dragons” - Princess Nokia, Metallic Butterfly (2018, Rough Trade; original release 2014)

Princess Nokia rereleased this album this year, and I’m so glad she did tbh. Her vocals just always give me chills, and the beat on this track is so quick in the best ways

“Do Your Best” - John Maus, Love Is Real (2007, Ribbon Music)

Spooky sad ambient vibes, heard it on the High Maintenance soundtrack from last season, my ideal listening experience would be in the back of a cab on the way to the airport to leave a city for the last time.

“Yale” - Bread Pilot, Yale / Seeing the Elephant - Single (2019, Self-released)

Not my usual type of indie rock, but there’s something about the lead vocalist’s voice that pulls me in. Can’t super explain it, but I’m into the pretty straightforward rock-y vibe.

“Cha Cha” - Freddie Dredd, Cha Cha - Single (2019, Self-released)

Back to Tik Tok — this track is only making the rounds bc of a meme format (much like Old Town Road tbh), but the sample intro and outro are so fucking catchy, and they vibe weirdly well with Freddie’s scream vocals. Great track imo

“Stay Flo” - Solange, When I Get Home (2019, Columbia)

Honestly my favorite track off her new record, her vocal delivery is superb. And the lyrics, we love a take down of male fragility :))))

“Mother Maybe” - Kadhja Bonet, Childqueen (2018, Fat Possum)

Some really fucking cool soul music from a label I wouldn’t expect to sign alt-soul? Always thought Fat Possum was more navel gaze-y folk indie stuff. Love this track tho

“Bizarre Love Triangle” - New Order, Brotherhood (1986, Warner Records)

If you’re not already listening to this track, idk where you’ve been since the mid-80s

“Better Off (Dying)” - Lil Peep, Come Over When You’re Sober, Pt. 1 (2017, Self-released)

RIP :’(

“Golddust” - DJ Fresh, Kryptonite (2010, Breakbeat Kaos)

I remember when this was charting in the UK when I was in 8th grade, it’s a banger of a 2010 club track, it feels like it kinda set the stage for the vocal-oriented alt club music that took over for the next five years.

[bills-pokedex]

I've been doing some intense training out in the mountains for the past few months and I'm trying to re-acclimate to the pop culture I missed while I was gone. What new bands are hot right now?

My good anonymous.

Let me enlighten you.

Not a new band but noteworthy: Everyone is talking about the Slakingz, who are dropping singles from their upcoming album Here and Now, but the only single worth mentioning so far is “Pride,” which is, as they say in Goldenrod, a right banger. Also, as it turns out, their bassist Murphy is in jail for undisclosed reasons (but we all know exactly why he’s there, right?), and the Slakingz have temporarily replaced him with Spade—as in, the guy from Jigglypuff Girls, that children’s television show that came out in the 90s. I would say this is the strangest mash-up of talent that has emerged these past six months, but Miki Mirage just did a collab with the pop princess porygon, Pika Hachune. It’s not half bad, honestly.

Also, with the upcoming Vespiquen/Freddie Mercury biopic, literally everyone is attempting covers of of Vespiquen songs, but in my personal opinion, the only one worth noting is, of all things, Carly Luxray Johnson’s cover of “Kalos Rhapsody.”

In terms of chart-toppers, everyone is still on about Drake Meteor, who if I recall correctly was still at the top of the Castelia Top 100 six months ago, so you may not be missing much in terms of what’s considered the best of the industry. (To be fair, it’s Drake Meteor. Let’s be honest with ourselves.) However, if you’re not much for rap, Florence + The Klingklang is still up there, as are Imagine Dragonite, Cinnabar 5, and for some Ho-oh-burnt reason given popular opinion of her, Taylor Feint. (Speaking off people with odd reputations on the internet somehow still being on the Castelia Top 100, did you know Danielle the Breloom Girl, made infamous for the “battle me outside” meme, is a rapper now? Because she is.)

Uproar! At the Gym has a new album out and a new bassist, but no, sorry, My Chemical Cute Charm is still not back together, despite rumors. (Readers, I’m pretty sure they’re never coming back together. Just let it go.)

As for new hits and artists, people have high hopes for Amy Sharpedo (who sounds very much like Ariana Evergrande, in my opinion—who is, incidentally, also worth a listen if you haven’t yet somehow), Tish Kingler, lovelykisstheband, Moonstone Taxi, and the Aerial Aces (the latter of whom actually has appeared on the Castelia Top 100). This all of course is pop and alternative, with a touch of synth. (Vaporeonwave is finally out, by the way.) If you were looking for something a little heavier (metal, that is), there’s always Gastly or Legend of the Wingullmen, and Paralysis finally came back after a fifteen-year hiatus, strangely enough. On the other hand, Bone Rush is no more, which is a sentence I never thought I would construct. But if it makes anyone feel any better, Judas Sage is evidently still going and just put out a new album, as it will be a sad, bleak day in the depths of Lugia’s domain before Judas Sage disbands.

Also, neither a new hit (technically) nor chart-topping (at the moment), but there’s a new hot meme centered around Luis Phantump’s “Amable.” It’s actually not half bad.

[335am]

Any song recommendations? (I want all the emo stuff you have! ;)

 OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO (i excluded the super famous ones like wttbp or sugar we’re going down)1) Miserable At Best - Mayday ParadeThis is an emo classic too but since you ignore the lesbian video I need to promote this band somewhere elseIt’s a really slow song but the guy has a piercing voice and it just lures you into the atmosphere (it’s a perfect song for daydreaming too). It may seem boring but PLEASE stay till the endand don’t get me started on the lyrics (by the way this is the song that i’m mouthing every time our english teacher says the word miserable)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqM3Dr7agjY

2) Misery Business - ParamoreThis band is actually female fronted so your feminist side can enjoy this too lol (btw it’s from 2007 and I swear she’s even more beautiful now)This is just the 00′s rebellious pop punk/rock that all the emo teens liked and it still somehow stands outhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCyGvGEtOwc3) Mr. Brightside & Somebody Told Me - both by The KillersYeah they are separate songs but they’re the lead singles of Hot Fuss and they’re both great so I didn’t know which one to put hereYou probably know Mr. Brightside since it’s a meme now, but if you really listen to the song you start to get into it, you start to understand the lyrics and... Brandon Flowers’ voice is just weirdly attractive to me and just the way that he opens his mouth (idk i swear i don’t have a kink on this)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fBdpreJiUhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGdGFtwCNBE4) We The KingsWe The Kings are a band, not a song, but just THEM as a concept needed to be here. They have like two hits (Sad Song which is known in the mainstream AND Check Yes, Juliet which is known in the emo community and that’s wild to me), they don’t have an interesting aesthetic, they aren’t conventionally attractive - they just aren’t really special but they still are somehow. It’s like the friend that once did a really cool thing and everyone respects them for that but otherwise no one actually knows them. Oh and they did a cover of The Story Of Tonight from Hamilton.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CUyWJ7UINMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZsXcc_tC-ohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5O-i3TvFZXA5) Satellite - Rise AgainstRebellious name, but they’re just a bunch of vegetarian straight edge guys that sing about politics. Oh and their newest album sucks. But my brother played them in the car in the summer of 2014 and that’s what started my emo phase, actually. So I kinda owe them something? Anyways Satellite, Prayer Of The Refugee, Savior, Ready To Fall, I Don’t Want To Be Here Anymore, Behind Closed Doors and Injection (I HAVE INJECTION STILL IN MY PHONE FOUR YEARS AFTER) are absolute bangers. You’ll fall in love with them instantly.https://youtu.be/6nQCxwneUwA6) Hero - SkilletMy friend from elementary school loved them and had their name written on her backpack and I was curious what “Skillet” meant so I looked it up and watched Hero. Oh my god I felt like I’ve finally found what I love (and yeah, I had a top 40 phase after but I returned to rock haha). They’re a christian band, but they have some powerful lyrics too. They have two grammys oh my god and Jen Ledger (the drummer and the second vocalist) is my 2014 crush hahaAnd I recommend Monster too, that was the second song I had in my phone lolhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGcsIdGOuZY7) Sleeping With SirensThe emoest of the emos - they had the looks, they have the lyrics, they have the feminine sounding vocalist and besides BVB they probably have the most bad memes and cringy quote images made about them. For me it’s actually the two newest albums (Madness and Gossip) that most people hate but I love - maybe because his voice really stands out. They have a screaming past too, but you know. If You can’t Hang is a classic and If I’m James Dean, Then You’re Audrey Hepburn is probably even a bigger classic that teenage girls loved seven years ago and other teenage girls love now. Better Off Dead and Madness are just THE songs for me, if you understand - they’re painfully relatable.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poZLiypLJzQhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UwWYtLWEZghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIH25CP2wc4https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJvxagr5rV88) Circles - Pierce The VeilEmo mexicans, wow that’s a weird combination BUT IT WORKS SO WELL. Pierce The Veil are best friends with SWS and they have the same things that I listed above. I included Circles AND two songs that are my favorites for Vic, not for PTV. But Kellin Quinn is the lead guy from SWS and All Time Low are the third band to their trinity and I recommend them too! (#missinglow lol)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucN-iv4QVWwhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDbVY3gCJgghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icXUkIfZxyg9) ...black veil bridesAnother band with veil in the title. I sigh everytime I see them because Andy Biersack is just the guy that one half of the emo community hates and one half loves maybe too much (i feel like the perfect question to determine someone’s cringiness is “what do you think of andy biersack?”) and I’m somewhere in the middle. This band is my guilty pleasure, their music isn’t too good technically (like seriously, their albums sound the same - ARTV said the perfect thing: “You heard one, you heard them all.”) but Andy has a unique voice and I just can’t believe he’s only 26 with all that he’s accomplished... But I feel that Andy Biersack is the Adam Levine of rock. (Oh my god I love this metaphor sijdisjd I just came up with that NOW? It’s perfect.) No one really knows the other band guys, he has a somehow interesting voice, good looks, he’s somehow respected in the community... (and no one believes they’re the age they actually are)Here you have Goodbye Agony, In The End, Wake Up and... Knives And Pens. Knives and Pens is just really weird to watch because that’s the stereotypical emo song, expect that it started a wave. You know what wave I’m talking about. And yeah, the guy in Wake Up is the same guy that’s in Knives and Pens. UNBELIEVABLE RIGHT? (and he was like 16 or 17 in knives and pens...) Oh but Andy’s solo stuff is really good.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-cxPIOAfSkhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0EQlIzPowMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBB37gsHJmQhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFDCHdKbKBY

10) UNDER THE LADDER - MÉLOVIN

I’M SORRY BUT YOU SAW THAT COMINGTHIS IS THE SONG THAT I WILL BE OBSESSING OVER FOR TWO MONTHS, THEN FORGET ABOUT IT AND IN FIVE YEARS I’LL FIND IT, LOOK AT MELOVIN IN 2023 AND HAVE A GOOD CRY. OH AND THIS IS EUROVISION BY THE WAY AND IT WAS R O B B E D LIKE WTF JURY? LAST? SERIOUSLY? LOOK AT HOW SAD HE WAS OH MY GOD AND I ACTUALLY WANTED TO CRY WHEN THAT HAPPENED BUT THEN THE TELEVOTES CAME HAHA TAKE THAT, SWEDEN i’m so sorry for people that don’t watch eurovisionanyway, this song is really good, he has a great voice, he looks emo, he talks about emo things (but in ukrainian because he knows like ten words in english) in interviews, he seems older than he is and you can’t understand a word he says perfectBUT LOOK AT HOW PRECIOUS HE IS IN THE END WHEN HE SMILES AND- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhOuMYtQ94M

[astrasia]

I somehow ended up reading through my old posts from senior year of high school (back when I actually used this tumblr as a blog, and not just a repository of art I liked and memes I found amusing). A quick summary of my findings:

damn high school me had no idea that the friends you have in high school are not necessarily the ones who will stick it out with you through college

but the ones who stick it out are ride or dies

high school me had such a regular sleep schedule... in bed by 10 pm most nights..... i envy them

marching band was l i f e 

we played a lot of bangers in high school that i completely forgot about!! shoutout to past me for documenting life so well and conveniently linking to almost every song we ever played.

it’s really funny (but also vaguely painful) looking back at my posts about the guy i liked because damn high school me was a dumbass

(dodged a bullet tho)

(i continue to be a dumbass in re: people i like but that is neither here nor there)

in hindsight it should’ve been a lot clearer that a lot of my friends were not straight

(did all the not-straight people at my high school just... clump together? did we have this instinct to travel in packs?)

in hindsight it also should’ve been a lot clearer that i was nonbinary LOL