#we can put the noggins together to solve ha

[senorablack]

Brb blacking out to the thought of someone to lie down with who could help me solve nyt spelling bee

[todoscript]

SEQUEL TO  “don’t forget it”

SYNOPSIS: One week after accidentally blowing you off on your date, Bakugou Katsuki seeks your forgiveness.

pairing: bakugou katsuki x fem!reader

genre: fluff, very little angst

word count: 5.4k+

warnings: none really accept maybe a character sustaining an injury

author’s note: hellooooo this is a very very very late part 2 of my don’t forget it drabble that many people asked for! i hope this lived up to your expectations and was worth the wait!

Since the events that led you to leave Bakugou’s room in a fit of bitterness after attempting to penetrate that thick head of his, he hadn’t been able to speak to you for a week.

It goes without saying he did his best to chase you down the hallway from his room and toward the elevator the moment he realized his faults. But at the stink eye you shot him through the minimizing slit of the elevator doors sliding into place, he knew he had no right to reconcile with you after pulling a stunt like that. Nor did he think you’d want to spare him any more words to begin with. It was clear you were done arguing with him.

“C’mon man, it’s probably best to let her cool down before you try to make up with her,” was the advice Kirishima offered when Bakugou returned to his room, disgruntled as he heavily fell back into his seat next to the desk. He did the bare minimum to acknowledge his friend’s words with a grunt before resuming tutoring the redhead, his method of teaching suddenly harsher than how it began thanks to his soured mood. He lapsed the day away by pounding Kirishima with problems upon problems against that hard noggin of his, both literally and figuratively.

At the very least, Kirishima earned himself a passing grade on their exam as a result of his hard work and their rigorous tutoring sessions. But what followed Bakugou’s and your relationship was still undetermined.

Days later and you were relentless in giving him the cold shoulder.

Bakugou was met with nothing but empty glances and blatant disinterest whenever he crossed your path. It felt like the wall you slotted between him grew another layer at each encounter, your defenses so impenetrable, it could give Kirishima’s quirk a run for its money. He couldn’t so much as utter a word in your direction without you effectively dodging every possible interaction in favor of joining another conversation nearby.

At first, Bakugou shrugged it off, calling your “childish attitude” unwarranted for something he thought was incredibly trivial. In his eyes, it was just an ordinary date at some run-of-the-mill restaurant he just happened to suggest to you because he took a liking to their spicy food. Not like it was some fancy dinner reservation serving caviar on dry toast beside a pretty, city night skyline. To him, it was nothing special.

However, as the week continued to roll by, it became clear to him how much he hurt you due to his selfishness. In a hangout with the Bakusquad, he learned that you apparently told Mina, along with the rest of the girls, everything during one of your girls’ nights. Which included the events prior to your heated argument in Bakugou’s dorm. And Mina, being just as peeved as you were at how Bakugou stood you up that day, had to let the blond know of the damage he’d done.

.

.

“I swear, Bakugou Katsuki, I know you can be an asshole sometimes—”

“Make that all the time,” Sero quietly adds in the middle of Mina’s rant while he lounges backward on Kaminari’s bed. If it wasn’t for his current dilemma, Bakugou would have elbowed him in the back of the head.

“—but this is crossing the line!” she finishes. Her arms are thrown exaggeratedly over her chest. The amber surrounded by the black scleras of her eyes points a beady look at the ash-blond crisscrossed on the floor between Kirishima and Kaminari.

“Poor girl sat there for hours waiting for you, only to find out she got blown off because you couldn’t even properly check your reminders!” She paces back and forth in the room, feet excessively stepping across the floor as she’s engulfed by the emotions she feels for her friend. “What’s worse? She comes back and finds out you’ve been doing your own thing with Kirishima the whole time!”

“Hey! It’s not like we were playing around! We were actually having a very serious study grind, thank you very much,” the redhead immediately clarifies. Though his explanation doesn’t alleviate Bakugou’s case in the slightest, who pounds his palms against the surface of the table they’ve gathered around.

“Look. I fucking get it, Ashido. I screwed up, okay?! Now what the fuck do you want me to do about it?!” he exclaims, anger overpowering his voice, but it does little to deter Mina.

“Fix it, obviously!” she quips back with equal fierceness, leaning in eye level with Bakugou.

“And how do you propose I do that, Raccoon Eyes? Hah?” Repositioning his elbow to rest on the table, he leans his cheek against his hand. “Y/n won’t even let me within five fucking feet in front of her and you still expect me ‘fix this’?”

Despite the situation weighing heavily on his shoulders, no immediate answer is bestowed upon him. That is, except the obnoxiously loud crinkle of a chip bag popping open next to Bakugou that cleaves into the scene like a record scratch. As if unable to read the mood in his own room, Kaminari fishes a chip to throw in his mouth, stirring the awkward silence into tension.

“Wow, Bakugou. I know you’re bad with girls and all, but you really messed up this time,” he remarks. His voice is slightly muffled as he munches his chips, continuing to wrinkle the bag for more. It incites a vein to swell on Bakugou’s forehead. He amasses all the willpower within him not to blast the bag of chips to ash, and the boy alongside it.

“If you dunce faces are just gonna sit here and throw salt in my wound then I’m outta here.”

“No, wait!” Kirishima catches Bakugou’s wrist before he fully lifts himself off the floor. “Come on, Bakugou, I’m sure we can think of something! We just need to put our heads together! Right, guys?” he assures. Finding it hard to deny his friend’s hardened conviction, Bakugou gives Kirishima the benefit of the doubt, albeit with slumped shoulders and a tentative raise of his brow as he slowly sits back down.

“Right! Everyone, let’s get some brainstorming done!” Mina yells encouragingly.

The atmosphere of Kaminari’s room is consumed by moderately thoughtful silence for the next ensuing minutes. A few hums pass, followed by an exchange of contemplative looks as four of the five rack their heads together to uncover a solution. The one in need of help only hunches in his seat, waiting with mild disinterest.

“Oh hey, don’t we have hero training with All Might tomorrow?” Sero is the first to comment, scooting to the edge of the blond’s bed.

“Yeah. So?”

“He said we were going to work on group exercises this time around. You know, teamwork and stuff,” he explains further.

At that, Mina snaps her fingers, the work of a brilliant idea flickering in her head. “Sero, that’s it! Tomorrow, during training, we’ll just form a group together with Y/n! After all, she’ll have to talk to Bakugou if you two are on the same team!” She claps her hands in front of her, her enthusiasm rippling through her body and shown energetically with each raise of her voice. “Then, while the rest of us ‘split up’ to cover more ground, that will be your chance to make everything better with Y/n! It’s genius!”

“You missed one fucking crucial detail, Pinky,” Bakugou gruffs. “That will only work if Y/n doesn’t join another group. The moment she sees I’m on yours, she’s not even going to hesitate making a u-turn.”

“Worry not~ I’ll just text all the girls except Y/n about the plan later and ask them to help sort everyone out!” She solves the problem with relative ease—quick as a click of her phone lighting up and finger sliding open to her messages.

“Uh, another thing though.” Kirishima raises his hand to spare his concern. “All Might says we’ll be splitting into groups of five at most, but there’s already five of us here.”

There’s a brief moment of deadpanning until Mina speaks casually. “Oh, that’s right. Kaminari. Take one for the team and make sure to join another group, ‘kay?” She settles without batting a lash.

Kaminari almost chokes on a mouthful of chips. “H-Huh?! What?! Why me?!!” he sputters.

“Because you’ve been eating chips this entire time and haven’t contributed to anything.”

“Hey, I offered the room, didn’t I?!” He tries justifying but is inevitably rejected by Mina’s wagging finger.

“Ah-ah, no complaints! Besides, it’s only one day of training. If we want this dilemma between Bakugou and Y/n fixed then we all have to play our part, got it?” Mina finalizes with a firm point of her finger nearly grazing the tip of the blond’s nose as he leans back to avoid it, eyebrows scrunched in discontent at the role he’s been reduced to.

“Alllllright!” Kirishima springs from his seat with outstretched arms and tightened fists. “Operation: Get Y/n to Forgive Explosion Boy is underway!”

“Dude, that’s a terrible name!” Sero laughs but rises from the bed to join the redhead’s cheer alongside Mina, the group already in high spirits.

Despite rolling his eyes at their swell of confidence, Bakugou does not object to the state of things. As crazy as it sounds, one could almost decipher the cusp of a grin pulling the seams of his lips as a possible sign he’s actually all for this extravagant little plan. Quite a first for Bakugou, but then again, there’s not much else he can do in this situation except rely on his pack of chumps.

Meanwhile, Kaminari grumbles something beneath the salty grit between his teeth.

“Alright, can you all get out of my room now?”

.

.

The scowl etched on your face carries a strong air of disdain that dampens the mood around your teammates considerably. Well, no one should be surprised. With Bakugou standing across from you, staring into the void of your expression, it’s to be expected that you wouldn’t be happy with this outcome.

No, “unhappy” doesn’t quite do your circumstance justice. You are beyond livid.

You feel your eyebrow twitch as you try quivering your lips to form a tinge of a smile. Unfortunately, all that quickly falls apart when you suddenly recall the disaster of last week, triggered by an accidental glance at Bakugou’s mug.

Trying to simmer down, you release a mental sigh amidst the turmoil boiling inside you.

Okay, maybe you’re over-exaggerating. Maybe you’re still just a bit too bitter for your own good and letting your emotions get to you. But in a class of twenty or some students, how did you end up in a group with the one person you were actively trying to avoid?

The moment All Might gave everyone the go-ahead to form their teams for today’s training exercise, you swiftly made a beeline toward two particular star students. Midoriya and Todoroki.

It was simple really. Your experiences throughout the school year told you Bakugou planned on staying away from his rivals when it came to teamwork, regardless of whether you’re there or not. He’s a competitive ass whose goal is to beat anyone he deems a threat in his climb to be the number one hero. It’s only logical you partner with people he adamantly dislikes to evade him.

Yet it seems fate has other plans for you today. By the time you found yourself pacing over to the two students you had in mind, they’d already gone and picked their own group members, forming teams before you could even ask.

Your nose wrinkles like you’ve taken a whiff of something rancid. Or, to be more specific, something fishy. Hooking an arm around Mina’s elbow, you drag the pink-haired girl off to a corner somewhere while tilting your head back at the three other boys.

“Ex. Cuse. Us.” Your words sound as stiff as cardboard. It comes out in practically a hiss when your eyes cross Bakugou. Once you’re positive you’re out of earshot, you whip your head at Mina.

“Mina, what the hell? When you dragged me over here to form a group with you you didn’t tell me he’d be there,” you groan. Childish and petty as you may sound, you just couldn’t fathom the idea of confronting the boy so soon.

Mina holds her hands out, ready to rationalize the whole ordeal. “C’mon Y/n, this is actually an advantage for us! With us four plus you on our team, we’re sure to knock the rest of the other guys out during training today! I mean we showed pretty good teamwork together at the sports festival, didn’t we?”

Steadying your gaze, you hold a finger below your chin as you slowly buy into the explanation. The reasoning is there. It’s hard to argue against a case like that, fully aware that being on the same team as explosion boy will easily snag good results for you and your party. ‘Cause as much of an arrogant jerk as he is, you have to admit Bakugou Katsuki knows his way around hero action like the back of his grenade gauntlets.

“Besides it’s not like you could avoid him for the entire school year. I mean, you two are in the same class. It was only a matter of time before you had to—”

“I know, Mina,” you interject, not wanting the rest of her sentence about the inevitable fall to your ear. “I just… Agh, you know what I mean!” You ruffle your hands through your hair in confliction, unsure how to piece your thoughts together.

Tilting your head over Mina’s shoulder, you sneak a glimpse at Bakugou, watching him as he’s cast to the side with the others. He’s fending himself from Kirishima and Sero’s combined jokes, that usual look on his face sending glares at the two and yelling something you could almost pick up on if you honed your ears a bit more. Surprisingly, when his eyes meet yours for a split second, he stands there looking nonchalant again. Both of you immediately avert your gazes.

Mina pats your shoulder, bringing you back to the conversation at hand. “I know, I know, but after this, I’m sure you can go back to ignoring his ass. After all, it’s just one training exercise, right?” she says. As her words deliver some relief to your ill-timed situation, you give in with a sigh.

Unbeknownst to you, turning your back to Mina and striding toward the rest of your teammates again, you miss the small glint in her yellow eyes, along with the subtle gestures she aims at the three boys, waving her pointed thumbs over your head secretively.

“So I take it you’re on the team with us, Y/n?” Sero asks when the two of you return. You nod in reply and the boy flashes his pearly whites in a wide grin that Kirishima mirrors. He nudges Bakugou at his sides which you subtly catch in the far corner of your eye.

You raise a brow suspiciously at their fidgeting, wondering why having you on their team warrants such enthusiasm, but you’re thankful for their energy at least. Someone has to lift the atmosphere for this not to be a complete drag and Bakugou surely isn’t going to be the mood maker of the group.

The blond scoffs. “Yeah, well, if you dumbasses are going to form a team with me, you’ll follow under my leadership, got it?”

The three readily agree. Though you roll your eyes, you don’t challenge his position, considering no one else is that much up to the task as he is. You’ll simply have to deal with the fact that you’re forced to tread through the day under his leadership. So with no objections, the five of you walk back to the class, gathering around the entrance of today’s battlefield.

Jumping into the activity, All Might goes about explaining today’s lesson to the four sets of teams—consisting of a group exercise to heighten teamwork. The name of the game? Capture the flag.

In short, each team will be split off into different sections of the labyrinth where their assigned flag is stationed. The objective is to not only protect your flag from being stolen but also try and steal an opposing team’s flag from their base and escort it safely to your home field. Nice and simple.

Not long after All Might’s explanation, the gate to the training grounds opens and you all scatter off into your teams, navigating through the twists of the maze to locate your flags. Once your group situated themselves onto your home base, you assemble in a huddle to devise a strategy before the game starts.

“So what’s the plan?” Kirishima asks, eyes darting around his teammates until they rest on Bakugou—the team leader. The ash-blond crosses his arms, a confident sneer plastered on his face as he’s already thought of his plan of action the moment All Might announced the mission.

“Easy. I’m going straight to the front-lines to swipe one of those dumbasses’ flags. You lot are gonna stay here and guard ours until I come back.” He delivers the strategy in a matter-of-fact tone that you quickly don’t take a liking to. Your fist curls in irritation.

“What kind of a plan is that?” you question audaciously, your voice louder than you intended. “So you’re just going to do all the work while we sit around and wait for you?”

Bakugou grits his teeth, leaning further into the huddle to direct his senseless logic. “Look, it’s the fastest and most surefire way to snag our victory without sacrificing anyone,” he says. Playing over his words again, he finds it surprising he even chooses to offer his reasoning. Because if it were anyone other than you he was arguing with, he’s certain he’d leave it at that.

Knowing the current tension between you was a result of his misjudgment, it feels only right for Bakugou to make an effort in communication. He ignores the antsy expressions belonging to the others who signal from behind you to follow along with their original plan.

You don’t seem to catch the hint, nor do you buy into his ridiculous strategy. “Oh, so you’re that confident you won’t get taken out by the other team then?” you quip. As a result, Bakugou’s brows tighten at your noncompliance.

“I know how to take care of myself. You of all people should realize by now that no other nerd in this whole damn class can outmatch me.”

“And what about an ambush? How do you know they simply won’t anticipate your strategy and see you coming?” You fire another counterargument and the boy purses his lips, beginning to find this quarrel spiraling into a headache rather than a step in the direction of reconciliation.

While Sero and Kirishima stand there, shifting their heads back and forth throughout the fiery exchange, Mina speedily reacts. The gears of that cunning mind of hers click into place again.

“You know what, Y/n’s right. Why don’t you two go together then?” she proposes boldly. Her suggestion catches you by complete surprise. You veer in her direction with an incredulous look blown in your eyes.

Before you can open your mouth to protest, the two boys standing beside her immediately back her up.

“Hm, Mina has a point. The chances of you falling into a trap wouldn’t be much if you two work together,” Sero remarks.

Kirishima follows, “Yeah, you guys can watch each other’s backs while going to collect the flag! It’s safer to go in a pair than by yourselves I’d say.”

The three seem adamant about the idea, sharing equally content expressions, and with all that said, you find it hard to dig yourself out of this situation. In a way, you practically volunteered yourself after questioning Bakugou’s plan and doubting his abilities. The group only feels it’s right you come along as his support since you clearly must be worried about his well-being.

Pushing your objections down your throat, you reluctantly agree to tag along with the blond. What you find exceptionally shocking is how Bakugou doesn’t oppose these new conditions. Given his hard-headed temperament, you thought he would’ve scoffed and turned his back at being paired without notice, but no such things were happening here.

...Odd.

“Tch, whatever. Let’s get going then,” is all he gives, starting in the direction into the urban area of the training course.

You trail behind him. “Coming, Boom-Boy…” you mutter the last bit but don’t suppress the urge to let your words be known. Bakugou turns his head and gives you a look akin to an uptight six-year-old you just offended at your local playground. You shrug in response, a corner of your lip pinched upward. He doesn’t pick a fight over the nickname, but his eyebrows remain fiercely slanted, and coupled with his heavy steps and the excessive swinging of his gauntlet-clad arms, it tells you of his emotional constipation plain as day.

.

.

The journey toward the other teams’ flags is cloaked in strained silence and the physical gap between you two does not encourage any of you to speak up. At this point, both of your levels of annoyance for each other have mellowed out. Now it just feels... awkward—strange. You don’t see his expression, nor does he see yours. It feels like you’re being left in the dark, having only the back of Bakugou’s head to stare at the entirety of the way, and though you supposedly have his back, Bakugou feels precarious in this state as he trudges along at the front, not daring to turn his head to cross your eyes.

The ambiance is reminiscent of the ancient Greek legend of Orpheus and Eurydice. Where Bakugou walks through the depths of the underworld, seeking you out in hopes you’d join his side once again. If he turns around now and spills his thoughts to you too soon, he fears that your forgiveness would be whisked away, thoroughly beyond his reach, and replaced with your promises of retribution.

That was the eloquent version of the situation anyway. To put it bluntly, Bakugou was just impatient as hell to say something to you. The silence suffocates him to the point where the words are nearly about to be squeezed out of his throat, but he bites his lip to snuff out the urges.

The more he keeps them in, the more fidgety he becomes, hands itchy and mouth trembling with grit between his teeth. The idea of not letting his voice be heard was something Bakugou detested. Mainly because it was already such a challenge to even keep his mouth shut, given his fiery attitude and lack of patience.

Man, what the hell am I hesitating for? he asks himself, that outspoken side of him spurring him on.

Ah, screw the uncertainty, he thinks. If he doesn’t say anything now, then he won’t get to say anything ever.

Bakugou stops in his tracks, turning his head. Here goes nothing,

“Hey, Y/n, I–”

“Katsuki–”

Words collide into each other, jumbled and incoherent, which take you two by surprise as you meet each other’s furrowed gazes. It’s quiet as you both piece your way through this, eyes trained like you haven’t seen each other in months when the reality is that a week of bitterness has somehow made you act like strangers. The bewildered look crossing his features is foreign to you; you’ve never quite seen Bakugou as taken aback as he is now.

“You first,” you grant before Bakugou could mix up your words again. Even being given permission, the blond still isn’t sure what to say, his thoughts lost on him the moment his voice clashed with yours. He takes a deep breath, calming his senses and steadying his mind for what he wants to convey.

“Look, Y/n, I don’t know how to put this as nicely as I can,” he begins, tone consistent yet wary, assessing your expression, “but I know I fucked up and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you there all by yourself. I shouldn’t… have blown you off like that and forgotten about you.” He delivers this bluntly—honestly—as open as a boy of his nature can muster with arms spread out, willingly exposing him to his faults and your reprisals.

Looking at you, he finds your eyes are cast to the floor, assuming to be reflecting on his words carefully. After some deliberation, you come across the vermillion in his eyes.

“Frankly, I haven’t entirely forgiven you just yet. But I will say that despite how I’ve been acting, I’m not as mad at you as you think,” is what you give, and Bakugou would be lying to himself if he didn’t achieve relief at your statement. He mentally releases a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding throughout the exchange. However, you aren’t done yet.

“I just want you to understand what moments like those mean to me. It’s during that time where I can share my feelings and learn more about you—understand who you are,” you say. Bakugou latches onto every word. “And it goes both ways, you know. It’s hard to want to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn’t make an effort to make time for you.” It’s obvious you aim that comment at him as Bakugou’s eyes soften slightly hearing it. His calloused, glove-clad hands wrap into his palms. Man, he really was a jerk.

“Still… I know you’re making an effort to be sincere and that you’re genuinely sorry for what happened, especially considering how the others seem to have set this whole conversation up, right?” Bakugou winces over the Bakusquad’s ploy coming to light and makes a note not to follow along next time unless those dummies can scrape up a more elaborate plan.

Despite that, he presses on, “So, what does this mean?” A smile settles on the curve of your lips, sensing his impatience as his voice hastens you along.

“Well…” you begin, speech drawn out in anticipation as you step toward him to where Bakugou follows your movements. That is until he catches a few shadowy figures shifting around atop the small building behind you. Before you can open your mouth to continue, his instincts flare to life.

“Hey, look out!” he exclaims, already acting on his warnings by lunging forward to push you out of the way. Your breaths draw back into your lungs, your body thrust abruptly into the opposite direction. Landing on your butt, you wince at both the shock and the pain, but your whines desist when you witness Bakugou taking a force to the head as a result of coming to your aid.

“Katsuki!” you yell, immediately getting off the ground to rush to his side, but he can’t find it in himself to respond. Afflicted with a substantial blow to the crown of his head, his whole being throbs and his vision spins.

Fuck, is Y/n, okay? is the first thing on his mind, ignoring the liquid trickling down his forehead. His question is answered upon turning his head to meet your anxious expression—your eyes wide and lips quivering as they move to say words he can’t exactly make out beneath the pounding sensations consuming his mind. As he feels a set of arms wrap around him, he tries discerning his surroundings to form a reply, but can only capture bits and pieces.

“—tsuki! ...old… n!”

“...god—! I’m so dead!”

A sputter of words tangling together is the last he hears before his vision fades to black.

.

.

The next time Bakugou awakes, his eyes slowly sever open to come face-to-face with a blurry white ceiling. The lights assault his vision as his senses take time to adjust, unraveling the environment to realize he’s laying on a bed—a hospital bed to be precise.

He attempts lifting himself but is met with retaliation in the form of his pulsating head which he immediately flinches at. His hand goes to rub his scalp to soothe the ache and he finds bandages wrapped tightly around him. “What the hell happened?” The last he remembers is traversing the urban area with you for the capture the flag mission before finally confronting the subject that had been plaguing your minds for a week now. After that, he caught sight of some object descending toward you and before he had even realized it, his feet had moved on their own. Next thing he knows, he’s waking up in the nurse’s office with a headache from hell.

Wait, what about you? Were you okay? Surely, he had to have pushed you out of the way in time, right?

His head moves quicker than it should’ve, revealing the other hospital bed in the room to be unoccupied, vacant. He sighs and his relief is further bolstered by the door to the nurse’s room opening to unveil you unharmed with only your heavy look of concern troubling him.

“Katsuki, oh thank god, you’re okay!” you say, quickly pacing over to his side with a glass of water in hand. You leave it at his bedside, sitting before him. Gauging your appearance up and down, Bakugou tries making out even the smallest details.

“You aren’t hurt?”

You’re appalled he would ask this despite clearly being the one patched up in a hospital bed right now, and likely sporting some serious head trauma.

“Of course I am, you’re the one that lunged forward to protect me,” you tell him. Bakugou looks down at his lap, figuring that was what happened, but hearing it from you comforted him more than he thought. However, his comfort is wretched from him by the intense pressure persisting in his skull. Seeing him in pain, you urge him to lay down and rest.

“How the hell did I end up here anyway?”

You fidget with your fingers, hesitating on answering. At that, the blond lifts a brow, suspicious.

“Mineta… accidentally dropped a rock on your head.”

“...You gotta be joking, right?”

Bakugou leers hard, finding the reason he was out of commission to be a damn pebble hitting his head a detriment to his pride. And because of Mineta of all fucking people. Still, if he hadn’t acted as quickly as he did, you would’ve been the one to meet his fate instead, and he weighed this outcome to better than the former.

Then you explain how the teachers had temporarily intervened to bring his unconscious body to the nurse’s, where the old lady went about tending to his injury. Said she did her job and all he needed was to rest and let her quirk take fuller effect within that time.

“So did we win the game?” He switches the topic to today’s mission of capture the flag that was cut short on his end.

You shake your head, but at least grant him the benefit of knowing Mineta’s team ended up placing last. At that, his eyelids shut and he crosses his arms behind his bandaged head. “Yeah, well, it wasn’t my intention to win anyway.”

You give him a look. “...Liar.”

Bakugou cracks an eye open at you. “Hah? What do you mean I’m a fucking liar?”

“I know you, Katsuki. I dated you, after all. And the Katsuki that I dated is an arrogant, competitive jerk who thinks of being the best above all else.” Bakugou scrunches his nose, wondering what you’re implying through your... overly frank descriptions. “Still… he’s sweet and caring at times… and reliable when he needs to be,” you continue, tone softening that draws Bakugou in, “And the kind of guy I want to give a second chance to.”

Absorbing your words, Bakugou blinks. “S-Seriously?” He doesn’t mean to stutter, but the offer catches him off-guard. He replays what you just said. That’s what he heard, right? A second chance?

You giggle at how uncharacteristically astonished he sounds. “Yes, seriously.”

“Does that mean you forgive me for what happened last week?”

You hum between pursed lips in playful contemplation. “Well, maybe you can redeem yourself by going on another date with me then?”

Hearing your proposal, a wide grin arcs his lips, edging into a smirk.

“That’s it? Well, I can definitely fucking do that,” he states, confidence rejuvenating his body at the new, hopeful chance before him.

“Oh, just one more thing though,” you suddenly add.

“What?”

“We are not going to that Chinese Restaurant again.”

[remakethestars]

RAVENCLAW 💙🦅🤎

Headcanons.

❝Even in the blackness, light can be found. My enemy can be outsmarted.❞

— Alex Hirsch, Journal 3

This is my house, y'all; buckle up!

Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, & Slytherin. Headcanon masterlist.

The door'll let you in for witty responses.

We prop it open during exam season, when everyone's coming back from dinner, on party nights, & when no one can solve the riddle.

Questions become more difficult to answer after curfew.

Everyone waits outside & pretends not to know first night until the first-years figure it out.

Today's riddle & answer posted on the back of the door every morning; check before you leave just in case.

Sometimes you find the prefects debating over what the answer is; no one leaves the common room until someone's figured it out, so sometimes, the entirety of Ravenclaw is late to breakfast.

Again, if we absolutely can’t, we’ll prop it open.

If the door’s propped open and you remove the prop, we’ll use the guillotine on you.

Everyone has at least one hill to die on.

There's a podium by the fireplace with a record book on it of all the books in Ravenclaw's library that you can ask for help finding books from (pages flip in their own). 

If you’re in a reading slump, describe what you're looking for; we've probably got it!

If you don't like writing & highlighting in the books, it'll disappear while you have it, but everyone's free to mark in them. 

So good at reading their own messy notes and the notes their friends wrote they can read a doctor's handwriting.

And there are notes everywhere. As organized as some Raveclaws wish they could be, you can't make notebooks & journals as organized as Google Doc & Word documents. Unless, ya know … someone made a spell for that — hold on, I gotta write that down!

Professors find notes — ideas for spells & potions — on the back of homework & tests. More knowledgeable teachers will add their ideas or advice before handing it back.

Everyone leaves a copy of their favorite book with annotations before they leave seventh year. 

There's a coffee/tea cart in the common room. 

Hallways to the dorms are covered in graffiti from students long passed.

Dorms branch off based on your year. 

Girls can walk into the boy's dorms & vice versa. 

All rooms are extended for more space.

Beds are built into the wall like window seats & have bookshelves where the head and footboards should be. 

Dark blue curtains can be drawn shut if you're feeling introverted. 

Trunks go under the bed, so they're kinda high off the ground.

Cast an extension charm if you’re claustrophobic.

At the end of every year, everyone congregates in the common room, someone casts glisseo on the stairs to Ravenclaw tower, & everyone slides their trunks down (it's called "the trunk shoving").

No one gives a single sh¡t about house points.

Ravenclaw’s are always blowing something up & losing points.

Dramatic about stubbing their toe, but super casual about ending up in the hospital wing because they "wanted to test a hypothesis."

If you have a question or don't understand something, ask it loudly in the common room; someone will undoubtedly answer or direct you to another who can.

Just don't use bad grammar, or sixteen people will correct you in unison. 😅

Learn (a) new language(s) in the common room 20:00–21:00 Mon.–Fri.

Tutoring sessions are in the common room at 21:00–22:00 Mon.–Fri. Or ask for private lessons to work around your schedule.

If a particular teacher's sh¡t, we host a class in the common room after dinner.

Also, there're just classes for random stuff: art, budgeting, codes & code-breaking, cooking, dancing, darning, fencing, ice skating (in the winter months), knot tying, lock picking, makeup, Morse code, muggle martial arts, sewing…

First years are all offered a class on note taking.

A lot of us do our homework on Friday night so we don't have to worry about it all weekend, so there're no party activities tonight, but you can play a muggle board game if you want.

Karaoke on Saturday nights.

Dungeons & Dragons on Sunday nights.

D&D’s swapped out for a play once a month; screw the theater ban! (For an explanation of Hogwarts’s theater ban, see Albus Dumbledore’s notes on “The Fountain of Fair Fortune” in The Tales of Beedle the Bard.)

Morning yoga in the common room �� feel free to join; we'll teach you some poses.

Ask around; whatever you're looking for — info, candy, contraband — someone probably hands it out, sells it, can get it for you, and/or can tell you where to find it.

Pass around a spell that allows them to clean themselves. Who has time for showering?

And a potion that gives them the same feeling & energy as if they slept. Who has time for sleeping?

Yes, we're building a guillotine in the common room.

Please don't utilize it in the decapitation of any living person or thing (unless it's the Snape or Umbridge)!

Our next project is a carousel. With working lights & everything.

Yes, we're building a house of cards in the common room; please don't blow on it.

Be quiet until noon on the weekends or get hexed.

Thank Merlin they teach sign language in the common room every year & everyone knows enough to get by.

Parties are highly regulated.

People volunteer to walk people back to their dorms & put up protection charms so you don't get assaulted. Those people are vetted with Veritaserum first to confirm the authenticity of their intentions.

People often get into academic debates, which can get a bit loud; just silencio them & move on.

The entrances to the dorms are hidden behind moving bookshelves.

The Ravenclaw copy of Hogwarts: A History will tell you more than you realized you needed to know; there're enough notes in the margins to make a second book, including how to enter the kitchens, how to sneak out if the castle, how to find the Room of Requirement…

They've located more secret passages & rooms in Hogwarts using spells they created than the Marauders were aware of.

First-years are told how to put extension charms on their backpacks so they're not heavy — that's a crap-ton of stairs.

There's an incredibly thick book by a armchair near the fireplace that's full of testaments of Ravenclaw's alumni. "What's one thing you wish you'd known when you started Hogwarts?" First-years are encouraged to flip through it.

And taught a low-concentration spell for levitating books while laying down so your arms don't get tired (flick wand to turn page).

Common room's extended to fit all kinds of activities (and the bookshelves).

Some third-years built an aquaponic system on top of one of the window seats; take a cucumber, if you want, or stop to look at the fish.

Again, explosions are not uncommon. (Please don’t drop any explosives in the fish tank. As water isn’t as compressible as air, this will kill the fish.)

Everyone just kinda glances over to make sure you’re okay before going back to what they were doing.

There's always a record playing.

They host a hike through the Forbidden Forest once a week, because what even are rules?

If you hear an intelligent conversation taking place, feel free to sit down & listen or jump in!

The wind whistles against the windows all year round, but they've been charmed to keep water out.

Played The Floor is Lava before it was a meme.

There's a two-way mirror on the wall above the fireplace. There's a muggle television on the other side. No one's sure whose T.V. it is, but a lady comes in in the mornings in hair curlers & watches the news.

She puts in V.H.S. tapes of Disney movies at the start of term. Hypothesis says it's for the first years & this person's a half-blood or a muggle-born.

Sometimes, people work together to solve the Friday crossword in The Daily Prophet. It's the hardest all week.

Look at each other like they're the camera in The Office when someone says something stupid.

Oh, boy, if someone's found a really good mystery book… That sh¡t’s getting magically copied & passed around. We discuss theories at meals, pass notes in class, & set up a murder board in the common room.

Actually, Ravenclaw house has solved a number of murders in its free time.

Visit my Ravenclaw YouTube playlist & Pinterest board.

DISCLAIMER ━━━ These headcanons are what I consider to be canon in my fanfictions. They may be others’s headcanons I’ve subconsciously filed away in my noggin. If one’s yours and you want it removed or credited, please send me your post and let me know.

[redbeanboi]

Guido Mista : ESTP [JJBA]

Excited to finally share this! One large bowl of mixed salad for the hungry beanie babies, as requested. :-)

As always—I’ll be looking at the Jungian cognitive functions.

And an extra big thank you to @string-bean-owo​ for helping me find some of these manga panels! :-)

Warning: Extended Spoilers ahead for JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Vento Aureo.

Functional Order: Se-Ti-Fe-Ni

Perceiving Functional Axis: Extroverted Sensing (Se) / Introverted Intuition (Ni)

Extroverted Sensing (Se)

Se is a perceiving function that relies on the five senses (touch, taste, sound, smell, sight) to interact with the environment. Se dominants like Mista prefer material, tangible things and don’t particularly like abstract ideas or concepts, as seen when Giorno first joins the gang and starts sharing his theories and strategies during enemy attacks (stuff that Mista cannot readily accept). Note Mista’s reactions to Giorno’s crazy hypothesis on the train:

Source: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Ch. 489

Mista finds it difficult to trust what his eyes (and ears, etc.) can’t perceive, and it’s only after Trish proves Giorno’s “theory” that he accepts it. Tangible, physical proof and evidence are things that Se dominants rely on when it comes to making their own conclusions. He handles solid, physical or simply real world information better than vague hypotheticals (which is where you often see him and Giorno clash).

Se dominants also love novel thrills, material items and creature comforts, which is one of Mista’s defining traits. Mista loves experiencing the world through his five senses because of Se and loves cheese, wine, sleep and good looking people. Se is a very big contributor to ESTP’s love of food, sports/physical action and/or sex (or any physical activity really). ESTP’s (and other Se dominants like ESFP) constantly seek out fun, sensory experiences to stay happy.

Source: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Ch. 508

Mista’s keen observation is yet another example of Se dominance; he’s quick on the uptake and uses his Se to process external stimuli. Whenever Mista gets into a fight, he takes mental note of his physical surroundings and uses his observations to make conclusions.

Source: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Ch. 464

ESTP’s are very physical and quickly respond to environmental demands, which is why Mista is able to think quickly on his feet and go with the flow on many different occasions. Wow!

Introverted Thinking (Ti)

Ti is more of a subconscious function in ESTP’s, but it’s what fuels their drive to understand the world and master their skills/talents. Like other ESTP’s, Mista uses Ti to analyze and process the ideas that his Se creates based on past experiences or any knowledge he’s acquired in his life. Together, these functions serve as a logical framework to help Mista determine which ideas/decisions are logical and which aren’t. It’s essentially a problem solving tool.

Though he’s not the type to overthink things, there are often times when Mista has to use Ti to make important decisions—betraying the Boss and organization being one of them. Knowing that Bucciarati is smart and having known him for a decent amount of time, Mista’s come to learn Bucciarati’s pragmatism as fact, and as Mista points out, Bucciarati wouldn’t betray the organization if it was a losing fight. Having seen Bucciarati make smart decisions in the past is what ultimately convinces Mista to join the band of traitors. He doesn’t necessarily cite protecting Trish as his primary motivation for betraying Passione, like Narancia—I think Extroverted Feeling played some role in this decision though, even if it was subconsciously—and Mista pretty much tells it like it is: he’ll get “filthy, stinkin’ rich” once this is over.

Source: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Ch. 523

This might be a sillier instance, but Mista’s theory on the tastiness (or lack thereof) of human flesh is another pretty good example of his Ti. He uses information he knows—”cats, lions, eagles, etc. are all carnivores and aren’t served in restaurants because the meat’s smelly, etc.”—to come to the conclusion that humans would taste pretty gross because they also eat meat!

Source: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Ch. 590 

Extroverted Feeling (Fe)

ESTP’s Fe is what ultimately drives them to use their keen observation and problem solving skills to help other people, as opposed to using these traits for purely selfish reasons. Mista is drawn to and strives to attain interpersonal peace, harmony and understanding (remember that he prefers to live a “simple life”), and I believe that this Fe is where his humanitarian side comes from. The most obvious example of his caring, compassionate side is his entire backstory.

Source: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Ch. 508

Mista’s Fe kicked in as soon as he saw this woman getting beaten in the car and acted on it, and although he is analytical and does make logic-based decisions (i.e. his decision to join Bucciarati and betray the Boss), Extroverted Feeling often drives him to do the “right” thing, most especially in the spur of the moment. In this instance, it’s killing a bunch of trashy men. 

In social environments, Fe works with Se and brings out Mista’s sillier, humorous side. 

Source: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Ch. 486

Source: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Ch. 590

Of course, at the same time, while Mista is extroverted and lively, he’s also perfectly fine with just enjoying his teammates’ company and doesn’t always need to take over the conversation and is okay with just making his little side comments. 

Source: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Ch. 456

Source: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Ch. 524

Of course, because Se is Mista’s dominant function, he usually shows his affection through action (rather than words) since it’s more comfortable for him; he’s not very good at explaining himself after the Rolling Stones incident, but Mista’s willingness to put himself into harm’s way to change Rolling Stones’ form is pretty indicative of the love and loyalty he has for Bucciarati.

Source: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Ch. 594

Introverted Intuition (Ni)

I know it’s easy to make jokes that Mista always ends up full of lead because almost all of his ammo gets fired back at him, but Vento Aureo is full of instances that show just how good Mista is at pulling information his Se has stored away and using that information to prepare an attack on his enemy.

We can assume that Mista’s dealt with a lot of other stand users at this point, especially since he knows the basics about Long-Range and Close-Range stands and keeps this info in mind when he’s looking for Sale.

Source: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Ch. 464

The White Album arc is my favorite to refer to when it comes to identifying Mista’s strengths as a member of Bucciarati’s team (also a good display of his Ni, both in its healthy and destructive forms).

Ni is sort of Mista’s “achilles heel,” since it’s undoubtedly his weaker function; it’s not nearly as strong as his Se and Ti, which Mista utilizes and relies on more. That being said, Ni helps Mista to pull from every single corner of his noggin and gets him to hone in on the evidence pulled from his Se. And from there, he looks for patterns in the information Ni gathers or just skips the thought process altogether and just predicts what might happen next (which you see when he kind of just jumps the gun—no pun intended). 

Mista’s good at keeping calm during moments of crisis and usually thinks things through, enabling him to make important deductions in life or death scenarios. “Obviously this weird enemy has to breathe somehow! I can attack from there!”

Sources: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Ch. 512 (above) and Ch. 514 (below)

At the same time, this Ni is a little dangerous when it gives Mista the idea that it’s alright to just “do first and think later”... and that’s usually when he forgoes thinking altogether. 

Source: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Ch. 512

Cue the ricocheting bullets. 

And it happens again during the Rolling Stones arc when Mista decides to jump outside of the apartment building with Rolling Stones—even though he doesn’t exactly know what will follow. He makes this decision without having thought it through carefully and it’s only after he falls (and survives) that Mista realizes he can’t change Rolling Stones, and in a sense, cannot change fate (oOoo).

Source: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Ch. 594

_____

A/N: This was super fun !!! Mista’s probably one of my favorite characters of all time, and I really think he embodies the ESTP type. At this moment in time, I haven’t gotten an Enneagram post for him planned in the near future, but I’ve typed him as a 7w8 if that helps. hope you enjoyed reading this !

[sciencespies]

'Unbelievable' video shows two bees work together to unscrew a soda bottle

https://sciencespies.com/nature/unbelievable-video-shows-two-bees-work-together-to-unscrew-a-soda-bottle/

'Unbelievable' video shows two bees work together to unscrew a soda bottle

While we all recognize bees for their importance in our food chain as pollinators, the clever creatures have a series of other talents, including math ability, face recognition, and even tool use.  

A new video, originally posted on Twitter, shows a pair of bees apparently unscrewing the orange lid of a Fanta to reach the sugary liquid inside. In today’s age of digital trickery, we have to be mindful that this could just be clever CGI; or, perhaps the bees really did work together, but simply toppled an already loosely perched bottle cap.

Either way, it’s fun to think about whether bees would have the brains to pull off such a soda heist.

According to ViralHog, the video licensor that acquired the footage, the moment was caught in São Paulo, Brazil by a worker on their lunch break.

“I got a soda from a customer but soon the bees stole it,” the person wrote in the video’s caption. 

The smooth skill with which these two bees appear to twist the lid off a soda bottle has baffled many on the internet, with some wondering how such intelligence exists in what is obviously a very tiny brain.

What kind of intelligence exists in such a tiny brain, how do they know it has to be twisted anti clockwise. ?

— Jeffrey Marlowe (@JeffreyMarlowe) May 25, 2021

I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t see it and I’m still not sure I believe it! 🤔

— Brian B. (@brian163t) May 25, 2021

As we’ve come to learn in recent years, however, the size of an animal’s noggin isn’t everything. For one thing, tiny animals have far less body mass for brain cells to govern, so naturally they’ll need smaller brains. In addition, the complexity of connections between neurons could be more important for cognitive performance.

In 1962, a decade before winning the Nobel Prize for research on bee communication, Karl von Frisch declared bumblebees too small-brained to think, putting their ingenious nature all down to hardwired instinct. Since then, the question of just how much a bee’s brain can manage has repeatedly been tested.

Despite having a noggin the size of a grass seed, roughly 0.0002 percent the size of our own, bees have proved surprisingly intelligent in recent research. Not only can these insects learn from each other and use tools, they can also count to zero and perform basic mathematical equations.

The question is, how would a tiny seed-sized calculator turn its problem-solving skills to something as complex as removing a cap from a soda bottle?

Clearly, von Frisch’s bias for large brains is still with us today. While the zoologist admitted bees could “accomplish astonishing intellectual feats”, he claimed they did so only through instinct, failing “when suddenly faced with unfamiliar tasks”.

Unscrewing the cap of a sugary drink is hardly a job bees evolved to tackle in nature, so von Frisch would be skeptical. It’s possible the bees just got lucky this time, detecting a sweet reward that drove them to wander somewhat blindly against a slight resistance.

On the other hand, nature could yet surprise us. In the packed bee brain, for instance, a single nerve cell can sometimes contact up to 100,000 other cells.

This is amazing.

I forget where I read it, but I recently saw the question posed “can cells make decisions and change their minds”. The article related to amoeba behavior.

It is really profound to contemplate the origins and commonality of thought inherent in all life.

— Hvaldimir (@Hvaldimir1) May 25, 2021

In recent research, bumblebees were trained to roll a ball into a goal for a reward. To score, the insects needed to copy each others’ movements and learn from their mistakes, which they were able to do with startling ease. 

“Such ‘tool use’ at one time was ascribed to humans alone, but then to primates, next to marine mammals, and later to birds,” researchers wrote in 2017.

“Now we recognize that many species have the capacity to envision how a particular object might be used to achieve an end.”

Even with their small circuitry of neurons, bees may well be capable of far more than we once thought. Next time you treat yourself to an outdoor lunch, you might want to keep an eye on your drink.

#Nature

[1-800-hellraiser]

I don't want to set the world on fire (Jeff the Killer x reader x BEN Drowned)

Requested by: no one

Words: 2,273

Genre: Lots of angst (itty bitty bit of fluff at the end)

Associated song: I don't to set the world on fire - The Ink Spots

!TW! Swearing, yelling, arguing, all that tomfoolery. 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

"I've lost all ambition and worthy acclaim, I just wanna be the one you love"

   You step down the concrete stairs of your apartment building. Your boyfriend, Jeff, wanted to meet at the nearby park. He said he wanted to introduce you to someone. You know Jeff works with a lot of people, so you're excited to get to know one of his acquaintances. You pull up the hood of your f/c (favorite color) hoodie, since your s/t (skin tone) ears are getting cold.

   You pop some earbuds into your ears and play some music as you walk to the park. Thinking a bit more about Jeff's acquaintances, you know of one in particular, because he's your mutual friend. That's how you and Jeff met, actually. 

   BEN was actually coming to kill you, but you threw something sharp at him. It stabbed him in the eye, and he had to take a break. So, the mission was given to Jeff. After about a week of fighting every night, you both just decided to stop and become friends. Hell, you became even more somehow.

   You and BEN have been friends ever since he tried to kill you. He comes through your laptop sometimes, although most of the time, he comes through your T.V. You chill together and watch movies, play video games, and just veg out until you both fall asleep. He's also been through a lot with you, every fight you and Jeff had, work and school related stress, nightmares, everything! 

   So, why are you with Jeff and not BEN? Jeff asked you out, you don't think BEN likes you. You just think BEN is your best friend. He couldn't possibly have feelings for you...right?

   BEN lays silently on his bed. He's internally kicking his own ass for not telling you about who Jeff actually was. There's a lot you don't know about Jeff. You're the type of person to wait until someone opens up to you. You don't know that when Jeff's not around you, he's an arrogant, self-centered, asswipe. 

   BEN rolls off his bed, and gets up to go get some food. He wanders into the kitchen and grabs a bowl from the cupboard. A bowl of cereal at 2 pm (14:00) sounds very tasty right about now. He takes the milk carton from the fridge and some Cheerios. 

   BEN plops himself into a chair and starts to munch on his Cheerios. Most of the other pastas and proxies are out on missions. The rest of the pastas and proxies, including BEN, have their day off today. 

   As BEN isn't paying attention and spacing out, Sally hops into the chair next to him at the table. "Hi BEN! Whatcha doin'?" "Ah!" BEN squeaks, almost spilling his cereal. BEN composes himself and glances at the small brunette next to him. "Thinking about a friend." Sally looks up at BEN in curiosity.

   "Who?" Sally tilts her head like a confused puppy. BEN takes another spoonful of Cheerios and shoves them in his mouth. "A girl I became friends with on that one mission. The girl that stabbed me in the eye." BEN explains to the young girl. "Ohhhhh, her. Yeah I remember." BEN nods and swallows the cereal he was eating. 

    Something suddenly clicks in Sally's little noggin. She grows a sly smirk and her eyes become half lidded. She sets her head in her little palm. "You like her don't you?" The young brunette teases. BEN almost spits out his cereal, his face begins to grow red. Sally keeps smiling slyly as BEN tries to explain himself.

   As soon as he gets his bearings, BEN realizes he cant explain himself. He does like you. The tingle in his chest when he's around you. The butterflies he gets when you talk to him. How sweaty his hands get when you text him. How could he have been so blind, he likes, no, loves you.

  BEN sighs and runs his hand through his greasy, blond locks. "I may or may not..." Sally giggles at BEN. "Oh come onnnnnnnnn" Sally's green eyes make contact with BEN's red ones "I know you do. I think you should tell her how you feel." BEN's face gets red and his heart drops. 

   "I can't really do that Sally." BEN states dejectedly, Sally cocks her head at his words. "Why not?" Sally prods further. "She's, Jeff's girlfriend..." Sally looks at BEN with wide eyes. "I didn't know he had a girlfriend, I didn't even think he could get one..." BEN snorts at Sally's remark as he gets up to put his bowl in the sink. 

   Suddenly, an idea pops into BEN's head. He could just tell you how Jeff acts when he's not around you. To be fair, you probably won't believe him, but has to at least try. BEN says goodbye to Sally and semi - confidently walks back into his room. He decides to wait until 5 pm (17:00) to come over. 

   You finally arrive at the park Jeff told you to go to. It is a bit far from your apartment building, but you don't care. You text Jeff to see where he wants to meet you. As you wait for is text, you wander around, admiring the scene.

   There are children running round as they're parents sit on the public benches and chat. There are people with they're dogs (on leashes, of course) and an opening to a forest area. You're getting more interested in the forest, but before you start walking towards it, you get a text back from Jeff. 

   'Meet me by the entrance of the forest'. His text is vague, but you know what he means. You silently walk over to the entrance of the forest. Jeff comes into view along with a female. She has long, almost tomato red hair, a pale complexion, and is about 5'2. She is wearing a denim jean jacket, a black tank top underneath, jeans and a pair of black Doc Martins. 

   You come closer to the pair, noticing Jeff has his arm around the girl. You falter for a minute, before shrugging it off as 'they must be good friends'. Once you get to Jeff and the girl, you notice the female's beautiful green eyes. Her eyes are piercing right through you, in almost a judgmental way. 

   You push the thought away as Jeff introduces you to the girl. Her name is Zoe, a very pretty name. "So, Jeff, what do you want to do here?" You ask innocently, Jeff smirks at you. "Well, I wanted to talk, about our relationship specifically." Your heart drops and you feel the blood drain from tour face. 

   "Oh, uh, ok! What did you want to talk about." You ask, still trying to be optimistic about this situation. Although, you have an idea of where this is going. "Well, I'm breaking up with you, for Zoe. I wanted to tell you in person." Jeff explains, as you stand there dumbly. 

   After you process what he just said, you are livid. "Wow, ok, so, you thought it would be a great idea to have me walk for about a half a mile (0.8 kilometers) just for you to break it off? And, if that wasn't enough you have to bring your girlfriend along with you?" You sneer at Jeff.

  "What the hell man? Like, it would've been better to break it off over the phone, rather than this shit being pulled." You continue, relentlessly. Jeff cuts in "babe, listen, I-" "No! You pull this shit and still have the brass balls to call me babe?! Get bent, Jeff." You finish, flipping him off as you retreat back to your apartment building. 

   As soon as you enter your apartment, you break down. You cry until you're dehydrated. After wallowing in a bundle of blankets for about an hour, you get up to check the time. It is four thirty, you sigh and get up to get some food. Food doesn't solve ALL your problems, but it does solve some of them. 

   You sigh as you stare into a fridge with only a few water bottles and some shredded cheese. You grab a water bottle, then close your fridge and trudge back to your room. You decide to order some food, but you don't know where from. 

   After about 30 minutes, BEN pops out of your T.V. and scares the shit out of your indecisive ass. "What's poppin' Y/n?" BEN asks, sitting next to you on your bed. "Nothin' much, just trying to decide on what to eat for dinner." BEN's eyes light up "CAN WE GET MCDONALD'S?!" You flinch at the sound of BEN's excitement. 

   "Pfft, yeah, we can." You open a handy dandy app on your phone that lets you order from almost any restaurant in your area. You pick out what you want and hand your phone over to BEN when you're done. You got some f/f (favorite food) and BEN got chicken nuggets. 

  "Its gonna take 45 minutes to get here." You inform, BEN groans. You chuckle at his childish nature. "You wanna play some Smash while we wait?" You ask, grabbing you and BEN a controller. "Hell yeah! Imma wipe the floor with your ass!" "Don't be so cocky BEN." You retort sassily. 

   "BRO LITERALLY HOW." BEN yells in frustration, you giggle at him. "I told you not to be so cocky~" You taunt he crosses his arms and pouts. You chuckle and ruffle his golden locks. You her a knock at your door and both you and BEN perk up. "I'll be right back, the food's here." You rise up off your semi-stiff mattress and walk out of your room. 

   BEN lets out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. He decided to tell you after about Jeff. He had noticed that you were crying. He noticed your puffy eyes, the unwiped tear streaks, your shaking. He didn't say anything because he wanted to make you feel a little bit better, but he also wants to tell you the truth. 

   You come back with a McDonald's back full of greasy, unhealthy, yet delicious food. BEN licks his lips as you hand him his chicken nuggets. You take out f/f and take a bite. Your mouth salivates even more as you take a bite of the lovely food. 

   After you two are finished, you took the trash out of your room so it won't attract ants or roaches. BEN starts sweating and his heart beats against his rib cage. "Hey, Y/n, can I talk to you about something?" He tries his best to make sure he doesn't look nervous. "Yeah, what's up?" BEN gulps and prepares for the worst.

   "Ok, I wanted to tell you Jeff isn't what he seems. He's an arrogant, asshat that doesn't care about others emotions. He thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread-" "oh yeah I know," BEN stops in his tracks. "Y-you know?" He stutters, looking at you with pure confusion on his features. "Yeah, he broke up with me for a much prettier girl, he name is Zoe, I believe." 

   BEN stares at you in disbelief, not because of the break up between you and Jeff. It's because you weren't breaking down. "A-are you doing okay?" BEN asks, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Kinda, I broke down earlier about it, but I think I'm fine now." BEN nods and scoots a bit closer to you. 

   "Ok, well, I-I wanted to ask you something. To be fair, it is a bit, sudden and early, and its okay if you don't feel the same." BEN looks at you with a cute blush spreading across his left cheek, over his button nose, to his right cheek. "What do you mean,?" You ask, cocking your head. BEN holds in a breath, and then lets it go. 

   "Y-Y/n, I came over to ask you, if y-you'd be my girlfriend." As soon as those words exit BEN's mouth, he shrinks down in fear of what you'll say. You give BEN a look of sympathy. You gently scoot closer to him, and wrap your arms around him, holding him close to your chest.

   BEN slowly un-tesnses his muscles and wraps his arms around your waist. Burying his head into your shoulder. He breathes into your shirt, your shirt smells like fresh linen laundry soap. He loves that laundry soap. You rub soothing circles on your best friend's back. "I'm so sorry BEN, I had no idea you felt this way." You whisper soothingly. BEN starts to get his hopes up. 

"I don't think I like you like that, BEN."

  BEN's heart drops immediately. He holds on to you tighter. You both sat there in a comfortable silence, BEN blaming himself for catching feelings. You know however, what he's doing.

  "BEN, hun, please don't blame yourself, I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better," you pull away from BEN's grasp, he looks you in the eyes, "we can still be friends." BEN accepts your offer and pulls you into another tight embrace. "Thank you Y/n. God, your the best friend I could ever ask for."

[cornacopicimagines]

hades and persephone │p.t 2

not my gif

part 1 part 3

masterlist

pairing: hades!tom holland x persephone!reader

words: 3.4k

warning: SMUT, fingering, oral (male receiving), swearing, teasing kink?

summary: being away from a husband that is the god of hell for six months can sure do things to a goddess of spring.

a/n: this is a part two if my previous fic - hades and persephone, and if any of y'all can spot the myth reference i will love you forever x

☆.｡.:*

The day had arrived, y/n couldn't sleep the night before. Her heart was racing and her mind was running with an abundance of thoughts. Zendaya, on the other hand, was seeing red.

She had to let go on the one thing she loved most for half of the year. Zendaya couldn't despise Tom even more and then he stole y/n right from her grasp. She went to Tom's brother in the earlier stages of their arrangement to try and change it, but Zeus shut Zendaya down quickly saying that this plan was all y/n's idea.

"I know you're upset Daya," y/n spoke softly as she slowly walked over to Zendaya, who was sitting angrily at the stump of a tree. She said nothing but glared up at y/n, who had know folded her arms. "I won't be gone forever," y/n tried to tell her.

"But it feel's like forever to me," Zendaya said under her breath as she slowly wilted a few flowers near her. y/n sighed quietly as she placed herself near to Zendaya and softly laid her head on Daya's shoulder.

"I know what happens to the earth when I am gone Daya," y/n said sadly as she brushed her hand through the grass underneath her, trying to bring the wilting plant back. Her eyes met Zendaya's in a moment of sadness.

"I do try y/n," Zendaya told her desperately. "It's my job to keep the earth healthy and thriving, do you think I want to plunge the world into complete darkness for six months," she said as she put her head in her hands.

Quickly, y/n embraced Zendaya in a warm hug, giving her a silent reminder of y/n while she was away. They pulled away from each other, y/n's eyes met Zendaya's as she placed her soft hand on Zendaya's cheek.

"Did you have to fall for Tom?" Zendaya huffed out and she now slumped against the tree. y/n scoffed loudly not knowing whether to scold her or reassure her.

"You of all people should know you don't choose who you love," y/n responded as she looked up to the clear blue sky and wondered what the other gods were doing at that moment. Zendaya didn't respond to y/n but stayed silent giving y/n a sign of acceptance.

"I don't what it is about you," Zendaya started as she stared straight at y/n, "but you are not the young innocent flower I once knew." The way she said it not only broke y/n's heart but it also made her angry. Zendaya couldn't lock her up for eternity, she couldn't shield y/n's eyes forever.

"I will miss you," y/n finally spoke up, her attention wavering from Zendaya and the lush surroundings. y/n's hand travelled over to place itself ontop Zendaya's and squeezed lightly.

"As will I," Zendaya squeaked out as if she was afraid that those words would hurt and in a way they did. y/n saw the sun setting over the horizon as Apollo ran in the light and Artemis geared up to drag the moon across the sky, she had to leave.

As if on cue Hermes appeared infront of the two women, his shining glory making Zendaya almost weap.

"Lady Persephone, are you ready for your descent into the underworld?" he asked her politely, he asked her that same question everytime she was needed to accompany her husband. Zendaya got up before y/n did in an attempt to call off the arrangement and spend more time with her companion.

"Could you give another day or two with her Lord Hermes?" Zendaya rushed out as she blocked y/n's way of passage to the god.

"I am sorry Lady Demeter, but this is what has to be done," Hermes told her woefully, his eyes not meeting Zendaya's. y/n got up from her spot under the tree and passed Zendaya's frantic state. y/n gave her one last hug before she took Hermes's arms and disappeared from Zendaya's view.

☆.｡.:*  

Tom had been waiting for this day to come ever since she left for the earth above six months ago. His heart hadn't stopped pounding against his chest since he woke up this morning.

Currently, though he was dealing with an issue that could have been solved easily if it weren't for the ignorance of the other gods. Sometime's Tom considered quitting this whole god of the underworld shit. He had made a pros and cons list a couple of weeks ago, case in point he had a lot of cons. First, the other gods were so egotistical that Tom had trouble figuring out how their necks didn't snap from the massive heads. Second being the Ruler of Hell doesn't really get him a lot of street cred with the mortals above. But he did have one pro which seemed to keep him glued to the jet black throne. y/n.

"I say we enlist some other minor god to fill his place," one god piped up, Tom scoffed at the idea. Like any other god could handle the job Harrison did every day for a millennia or so.

"That sounds utterly stupid," Ares snarled out, Tom could tell it was him by the way the table shook and the voice almost dripped with anger. "I am getting bored since Thanatos is nowhere to be seen, I can't kill anyone," he finished almost sounding sad for once.

"I think my brother should decide since Thanatos was his right-hand man" Tom's brother; Poseidon spoke rationally pointing to Tom through the mirrored hologram effect. Tom stood from his chair and walked toward the screen.

"I say that we look for Thanatos, he is just simply missing." Tom told them, "All we need to do is put our lovely godly noggins together and find a way to seek him out," he finished.

"Lord Hades is right," Athena said gracefully as her grey eyes burned into her father's skull. Zeus sighed angrily before looking at Tom.

"You will lead the search brother," Zeus exclaimed before Tom cut off the signal and threw himself back onto his throne. Even though Harrison was gone from his presence at least his wife would come back to him this evening and just the thought of her brought a smile to his face.

Tom sat in complete silence for two minutes before realising that nothing would be happening for the rest of his day and left his throne room hoping that y/n would be waiting for him in their joint chambers.

As he walked down the halls of his palace, he got a lot of suggestive looks from his maids and guards, others wound up running into their own chambers knowing those loud activities of the king and queen when they reunited with each other.

Tom opened the doors and started to take off more of his unneeded clothing, Jesus they were restraining. The one thing he never thought he would get sick of hearing was the sound of y/n's bathroom door and the soft padding of her footstep getting closer to him.

"There you are," her loving voice called out to him, "I was asking everybody where you were," y/n spoke as Tom swivelled around to spot her letting her flawless hair fall out of the tight braid. Tom couldn't stop himself from smiling like a flustered schoolboy.

Tom didn't say anything as he slowly approached his wife, his hands came up to cup her face as he stared deep into her eyes.

"I missed you so fucking much," he whispered to her as he placed his forehead against her. "You don't even know."

"I just think I might," y/n responded a slight giggle surpassing her lips. Tom tried his best to savour this moment just a little longer but as soon as that damned laughed rolled out of her mouth, he smashed his lips against hers. His hands went from her cheeks to grip at the side of her hips. y/n hummed against Tom's mouth in approval.

"I got something for you," Tom spoke as he finally pulled away from her heavenly kiss. He made his way over to the dresser and picked a long black box. He passed it to y/n, who opened it quickly and chocked in surprise. Inside was a necklace made of beautiful crystals and metals that weaved themselves around the jewels reminding her of the vines above.

"It's gorgeous," y/n squealed happily as she brought Tom's face close to her and place her lips on his in a quick moment of passion. "I wish I had brought you something from my gardens on earth," y/n spoke sadly, disappointed that she didn't think of something to bring to Tom.

"Don't worry princess," Tom laughed softly as he watched y/n walk over to a mirror and place the necklace against her chest. y/n couldn't seem to get the clasp on and silently asked Tom to help her out.

He happily obliged and fitted the jewellery around y/n's neck admiring it through the mirror. Her eyes met his through the reflection and an idea sprung into his head.

Tom swept y/n's hair to the side and started peppering small fluttering kisses across her collarbone, at first it was playful and loving but it became slower and longer. He started biting softly at her smooth skin. Her mousey moans pushing him to keep going.

His rough hands moved underneath the satin material of her robes and quickly started to make work on her breasts. Tom's hands squeezed and tugged at her chest, eliciting delicate whimpers from y/n infront of him.

"You know the one thing I missed more than that sweet voice of yours," Tom cooed in her ear as his free hand fell into her lace underwear rubbing gently against her wet folds increasing the noise y/n was making, "your even sweeter cunt," he said darkly as he bit the lobe of her ears.

Just his breath against her face was enough for y/n to drown her panties but the way his hands were moulding her like putty and his voice muttering absolute sex to her, how could she not almost faint when his long fingers suddenly darted into her hole.

y/n's head fell into the crook of Tom's neck as he continued to pump his digits in and out of her. She wasn't sure what pleased her more, the fact that with just his hands Tom could destroy her in a matter of moments or the fact that he still did it with some much passion and intensity that she fell more in love with him.

He hit a spot inside her that made y/n almost tumble to the ground. Her hands found themselves tugging harshly at the hair near the nape of his neck, Tom groaned in pleasure as he started to finger her faster, now circling her clit with his thumb.

"Holy shit Tom," Y/n kept chanting through breathless moans. Tom said nothing but smiled wildly as he felt her tight walls close around his finger signalling she was near release.

"Are you going to come, gorgeous girl," Tom purred in her ear as he continued to rapidly pleasure her. y/n nodded her head vigorously and gripped at Tom's jet black shirts as she felt the beautiful pit at the bottom of her stomach.

She was just about to release all over his fingers when out of nowhere the pleasure instantly faded and Tom started to walk away from her.

"What the fuck?!" y/n almost screeched at him as she stomped over to him with her arms folded under her chest pushing her cleavage up one full display for Tom's delight.

"That was just a bit of fun right?" Tom asked as innocently as he could, he wanted to tease y/n until she was begging for him.

This plan, however, did not sit well with y/n, "a bit of fun," she said almost scarily, it was the first time Tom had seen her like this.

"I was just having a bit of fun with you," he said again but this time he sounded uncertain within himself, which is the last thing he wanted to portray.

"So you wouldn't mind if I had a bit of fun with you?" y/n asked him politely as she strutted over to him and started to gently stroke him through the tough material of his pants.

To be truthful, Tom had never seen such vulgarity come out of y/n and he was so aroused he was afraid he was going to cum as soon as she touched him. Tom adored how when y/n was around other people she was happy, bright and most of all innocent, but as soon as Tom and y/n had time alone, a whole another side to her appeared.

"I would like that very much," Tom responded as he let the weight of y/n body press him up against a table.  y/n smirked up at him as she sunk down to her knees and slowly unbuckled his belt and threw his clothes down to let his length spring free.

Her eyes met his as she dragged the point of her tongue from the base of his shaft up to the tip never breaking her gaze on Tom's. Still, she wanted to make Tom feel the slow release that he had inflicted on y/n earlier. She let his head enter her mouth before removing it with a loud pop.

"If you keep on teasing me, princess," Tom barely got out as she continued to mess with his head, "You're going to pay for it," he finished just before she almost choked on his dick as she took him fully into her mouth. Her cheeks hollowed as she bobs at a slow but steady pace, whatever she couldn't fit she massaged with her hands.

While she was wrecking Tom with her mouth, Tom threw his head back and gripped the edges of the table tightly. Giving him a mischievous smile, y/n started to move her head faster and her tongue swirled around him. Tom started to seriously damage the wood of the tables as his hands kept clutching on the table until it started to crack underneath his palms.

"Oh my god," Tom spoke lowly as his eyes once again fell on her, pushing him even further to the edge and it seemed like y/n knew it too as she hummed against this cock as it twitched in her mouth. Just like y/n before, he was just about to cum when she pulled away from Tom and started to strut back to the door. Tom though quickly caught up with her and threw her over his shoulder making a loud giggle fall out of y/n for her robe to become looser against his shoulder.

Tom always treated her like a porcelain doll when it came to sex. He always drifted his fingertips over her skin when they got intimate, he either kissed her lightly or with enough passion to fuel a fire. He always made sure that she was fine and safe when they made love but it this time he almost threw her against the massive bed and crawl on top of her.

y/n tried to wrap her arms around Tom's neck but he quickly grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the pillows above her, "You keep them there unles you even more punishments, got it," he snapped at her. y/n said nothing but gulped loudly. Tom didn't say a word to her as he kept one of his hand around her wrist, while the other one made work of ripping her underwear and robe off her body. y/n couldn't be more aroused as Tom didn't wait, didn't bother giving her small kiss or to caress her hips.

Tom halted all of his movements against her skin, she still did as he told her and kept her arms above her head which was restricting her from looking as to why Tom had left her stark naked and literally dripping on the sheet. Out of nowhere y/n felt the tip of his dick flick over her slick folds making her back arch.

"I think I could get used to this sight," Tom muttered as he continued to tease her, "look at me y/n," he told her sharply, y/n change her position underneath him to stare straight into his eyes before he leaned in closer to her so his face was just touching her.

His dick was at the entrance of her core, not moving at all. It was like holding food in front of a starving animal, it was torture to her. "Beg for it," he whispered his gaze never faltering from her. y/n whispered a squeaky, please. "Not good enough princess," he told her once again this time going slightly further into her heat.

"Please Tom, please," she chanted quietly as her breathing got erratic.

"It sounds like you really didn't want me while you were up there," Tom sighed as if he was saddened by the statement that left his lips, "You're starting to hurt my feelings doll," he told her as his finger started to fiddle with the bundle of nerves that was her clit.

"Oh for christ's sake Tom, just fuck me already," y/n snapped at her and with that Tom madly started to pound into her, instantly starting y/n's dirty moans. Tom couldn't keep it in himself as his head fell into the crook of her neck, overwhelmed by the feeling of his wife's perfectly snug walls enclosing his dick as he fucked her.

"Forgot how good you felt around me princess," Tom murmured against her flesh.

"Ca-can I-oh god please touch you," y/n asked him through loud screams, Tom nodded and y/n instantly started to pull at his hair and scrape her nails against his back. All that could be heard was the sounds of their bodies colliding with each other and their names bouncing off the walls. Her hands cupped Tom's cheeks to bring his face to meet her's. "Please go faster," y/n pleaded as she felt her release nearing on her. Tom happily did what he was asked and picked up the pace of the rhythm he had established.

Tom started to feel himself getting closer as well, his chest started to tighten as he kept on fucking her so hard that the headboard of the bed started to violently bang against the wall. Not only did her pussy retract around him but y/n's hands started to gripped hard at his biceps as she felt the beautifully familiar feeling in the pit of her stomach. Her face contorted with pleasure as Tom continued to slam the perfect spot inside of her.

"Come around my dick," Tom told her harshly as every syllable matched the beat of his skin slamming against hers, "Be a good girl for me," y/n couldn't keep it in as she suddenly felt the tidal wave of her orgasm crash over her as she screamed out in pleasure and started to see stars. Close after her Tom started to lose his breath, his pattern got irregular and with a loud grunt, Tom came. His warm salty liquid spilling over y/n's bare navel before collapsing atop of her.

"It's great to be back," y/n laughed as she softly stroked Tom's red naked back at he attempted to catch his breath. For a god of death, she was going to be the death of him.

☆.｡.:*

tags: @isabelmeza @bibliophile65 @younggodblood @fraunleinlee @ifyouholdmebackimightexplode @junipter @derekxsammy @spideytaeh @danicarosaline @stxck-in-the-internet @slythxr @rrainydayy @alex-misk @bluelalal @laneygthememequeen and the two anons that sparked this fire in the first place (blame them) 

 hope you guys like it and also someone give me tips on writing smut please xx

[ikesenhell]

Status: Solved

Again., Chapter 9–a collaboration by myself and @a-shout-to-the-void​ AKA Vaya. You can find all other IkeSen works of mine here, and Vaya’s here. NOTES: AND THUSLY WE FIGURE OUT THE CASE.

TO: NOBUNAGA ODA

FROM: IEYASU TOKUGAWA

RE: ZACHARY BETO APARTMENT SEARCH WARRANT

Police issued a search warrant for the apartment of Zachary “Zach” Beto, age 22, at 7:52 p.m. Upon arrival, police were greeted with a belligerent Beto. He demanded to see the warrant, then attempted to bar the officers from entry. He was removed from the doorway and restrained as officers conducted their search.

In the apartment, police found:

>multiple open boxes of pizza, contents unfinished >One broken x-Box >One mint condition x-Box >One angry ferret, cage uncleaned >Three skateboards without deck tape >Two skateboards with deck tape >A furby that would not stop talking >One Ms. Renee Ailes, aged 16, sitting on the couch

CONCLUSION: Fuck that guy.

---

AUDIO TRANSCRIPT

Officer: Renee, are you aware that we’ve been looking for you for quite some time?

RENEE: No.

Officer: And here I was thinking you kids were so plugged in these days.

RENEE: I’m not a kid.

Officer: You--you’re--How old are you, Renee?

RENEE: Sixteen.

Officer: Thank you for reminding me. This old noggin ain’t what is used to be, ya know?

RENEE: ...sure

Officer: I’d like to ask you a couple questions about your dad’s murder.

RENEE: Yeah, I know. I already agreed to this. We did the whole rights thing and whatever. So go on. Ask.

Officer: Were you there, that day? With your dad?

RENEE: Yep.

Officer: And did--tell me, did you notice anything weird? Anything happen that might have been freaky?

RENEE: What, you--other than my dad being murdered, you mean?

Officer: Before that.

RENEE: [Eight second pause] I mean, him and my mom fought.

Officer: Fought? They--could you, uh, tell me about this fight?

RENEE: Like, screaming, shouting. Mom was--I, um, she just. So angry, you know? Screaming her head off, couldn’t even understand her she was yelling so loud, and um. I. My dad kept telling her to calm down, and she just yelled more, and then she um. She uh, reached in her--her purse, yeah, and she pulled out this--this knife, like a big one from our kitchen, and I. I just sort of ran, it was really scary, and I just. I didn’t want her to find me, because like. Like I knew the truth, you know? So I had to hide until she was gone for good. I um. Didn’t really think anyone would notice.

Officer: [Extended pause] Just--just to be clear, now. You said your parents were screaming at each other?

RENEE: Yes.

Officer: On the street.

RENEE: Yeah.

Officer: And your mom had a knife, you said?

RENEE: That’s what I said.

Officer: [Five second pause] Renee, are you lying to me right now?

RENEE: What are you--

Officer: We interviewed the whole neighborhood and nobody heard any screaming. You wanna try that again?

RENEE: Well I--maybe people didn’t hear--

Officer: Hear all that screaming? Right outside of their houses? Well, maybe it’s possible, but that would be pretty weird, don’t you think?

RENEE: I--

Officer: Who are you covering for, Renee? That guy? Zach, right?

RENEE: Zach had nothing to do with--

Officer: Dad found out about your relationship and didn’t like it too much, right? And Zach wasn’t about to take some old man telling him who he could and couldn’t date, so he--

RENEE: No, Zach would never--I don’t--why would you even say--

Officer: If you come clean and tell the truth about Zach right now, you’re gonna be okay. He goes away, and you’re safe. He can’t hurt you.

RENEE: He would never hurt me! He--he wouldn’t hurt a fly.

Officer: Did he use another knife? Fake a murder weapon with your kitchen knife, keep his prints off the crime scene, peel off in that car of his before anybody thought to ask questions?

RENEE: How do you even know--

Officer: His car was at the scene of the crime. I know it, you know it. All we need from you--

RENEE: You don’t understand--

Officer: Tell us it wasn’t your mother and--

RENEE: I don’t--I don’t--I--I--I can’t--

Officer: He’ll go down for this like he should--

RENEE: No he didn’t make me do anything I did--

Officer: And you’ll be safe from the murderer.

RENEE: It was my knife I did it please don’t send him to jail--

Officer: [Extended pause] Could you say that again?

RENEE: Please don’t send Zach to jail he didn’t kill anyone I did he has a ferret--

Officer: Oh my god.

RENEE: [Extended silence. Soft weeping is audible.]

---

Kenshin didn't get invited to as many parties as he used to. Granted, he’d never liked being invited--he only ever went for the alcohol and because Shingen Takeda (back when they were firm partners on medical malpractice suits) often forced him to. Those days felt like forever ago. Just as often he’d go as stay home with his wife and curl up together on the couch.

Then breast cancer claimed Isehime. Then he was nearly disbarred after assaulting her former doctor.

Needless to say, he wasn’t invited to many parties anymore.

Something about Isehime’s death had both sharpened and shattered him in one. He had less patience with fools these days. He was more withdrawn and sullen, more prone to drinking, more lost in his thoughts. Caring hurt. God, it hurt so badly. Some nights he wanted to drink his heart dead.

His old friend, Sasuke Sarutobi, was just as determined to see that never happen. It took some convincing, but somehow (somehow!) he wound up in a small soiree with Hideyoshi Toyotomi, of all people. They got to talking. Talking turned to stories of Hideyoshi and Mitsuhide’s daughter, Leyla, and next thing he knew, he was spending time with the small family. At first it was almost too painful to bear. How could he look at their wonderful world without thinking about the one he’d never make with his late wife?

It softened eventually.

He still cried some nights. He wrapped a pillow in one of her old nightshirts (an extra soft one that she used to wear when she worked in the garden at their old home, the one he’d sold because it had too many memories of them) and clung to it. But life moved on. The days pressed relentlessly forward, and he went with it.

So here he was: at a party. With the prosecutor’s office, his former rivals. Holding a Shirley Temple, of all things, in one hand, and Leyla bouncing on his arm with the other. The toddler was almost completely asleep against him.

“Do you need a break?” Hideyoshi offered, hovering around like the mother hen he was.

“I’m fine.” Kenshin adjusted her with a shift of his elbow. “She’s tuckered out.”

“Yeah. She didn't have naptime today.”

That was just fine by him. Kenshin settled down into a chair and crossed his legs, balancing the girl against his chest. Nearby on the other couch, Mitsunari Ishida--their genius extraordinaire and airhead--was picking through his phone for something.

“Ieya--” The man blinked owlishly at Kenshin before smiling. “Oh! I’m so sorry, Mr. Uesugi. I didn't see you there.”

“I imagine not,” Kenshin noted. “You had your nose in your phone.”

“Sorry. I know it must seem rude of me.” Mitsunari paused, contemplative. “Say, do you know much about mattresses?”

“No more than the next guy.”

“Mmm.” Mitsunari frowned at his phone. “Do you think a King or a California King is better for more than two people? Or is the California King just excessive?”

It took a few seconds for the question to really hit home. Kenshin almost wanted to laugh. “Are you planning slumber parties?”

The other man opened his mouth, worked his jaw, shut it. Tellingly, those bright purple eyes roved over to--ah. Tokugawa and Williams. Those two looked deep in conversation over a punch bowl.

“Can’t say,” Mitsunari answered cheerily. “Maybe! Maybe I just like to splay out.”

“You’re not subtle.” Kenshin permitted himself a chuckle. “Go with the California King, if you really like to splay out so much. You might not be the only one.”

Apparently this hadn’t occurred to Mitsunari. He nodded fiercely, tapping away at the phone. “You’re right. Slumber parties can be messy.”

“What can be messy, now?” Hideyoshi appeared from nowhere, glass in hand and a thousand questions in his eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“Mattresses,” Mitsunari answered. “Did I say something odd?”

Mitsuhide appeared from seemingly nowhere, wrapping his arm around his husband’s waist. “Dearest, you owe me money on our bet.”

Hideyoshi paused for a half second before lighting up. “They are!?”

“What?” Mitsunari blinked. “What? What?”

“Nothing.” Hideyoshi staggered, fishing out his wallet and putting it back. “I’ll just--I’ll just take you to dinner one night.”

For his part, Kenshin just laid back and observed. It was miraculous to him that the others didn't see it sooner. Tokugawa wasn’t much of a man for contact, but the way he and Williams entwined around each other was poetry in motion. It made sense. Tokugawa was gold and she was bronze and Ishida was silver, all three of them like precious metals that wound seamlessly together.

Leyla stirred in his lap.

“Ke-shi?” She murmured, and all his attention turned back to her.

“Hush,” he murmured, and sipped his Shirley Temple.

[lovemesomesurveys]

try to wrap your head around this

All About Your Head! 1. How often do you get headaches? Have you ever experienced migraines? Do you take anything in order to get rid of your headaches? Are there any natural remedies that you have tried and recommend? I get a few a month. Back in high school I used to get tension headaches quite often, which was awful. No, I’ve never experienced migraines. Unfortunately, I can’t take anything for my headaches because 1. I can’t take aspirin. 2. Stuff like Ibuprofen or Aleve don’t do shit for my headaches. 3. Tylenol doesn’t either and I can’t take it anyway because it has acetaminophen, which the pain medication I take regularly also has and too much of that can be damaging for your liver. So, all I can really do is ride them out but a cold washcloth over my eyes does help. And sleep. Peppermint or chamomile tea can help a little sometimes a well. 2. Do you feel as though you have a good head on your shoulders? Not the past few years. I’ve been a complete mess. I don’t know where my head has been. 3. Are you the type of person who overthinks and overanalyzes? Ohhhh yes. 4. Are you a daydreamer? Do you often get lost in your own thoughts and zone out a lot? Yeah. Especially at night. 5. Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? I think my memory is pretty good. I would probably say my long-term is better. I sometimes forget what I wore or watched on TV recently, but I dwell on shit from several years ago. 

6. Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before? Did you need to have surgery for it? No. 7. Would you say that you are more book-smart or more street-smart? Do you have a lot of common sense? Book smart, I guess. 8. Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve? I have major depression and anxiety that I know of for sure and have been diagnosed with. 9. What color is your hair, naturally? Have you ever dyed it before? My hair is naturally dark brown, but I dye it red. 10. What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? It’s currently the longest, it goes down past my butt. The shortest was when I had a “bob” cut. I got a trim last February. 11. Have you ever tried to count all of the hairs on your head before? Uh, no. 12. At what age did you start getting gray hairs, if you happen to have any? I swear it was the exact moment I turned 30. 13. Would you ever shave your head for any specific reason? Only if I had to for medical reasons. 14. What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it? All I do is throw it up in a messy bun. I have all this hair and do absolutely nothing with it because I don’t have the motivation or energy to. It would be a lot easier to manage if I just cut it short again, but it took so long to get it this length and part of me still can’t help but think maybe one day I’ll get my shit together and I’ll want to have my long hair if it happens. Sigh. 15. What other words do you typically use in order to describe your head? (ie: brain, skull, noggin, noodle, think-boxer, etc) I usually just say “head”, but I’ve also said each of those except for “think-boxer.” 16. Do you ever experience brain freeze? If so, how long does it typically last for? I haven’t in quite a long time because I don’t drink cold drinks anymore.  Whenever it has happened, though, I don’t recall it lasting very long.  17. When is the last time that you felt light-headed? Have you ever passed out before? I’ve felt that way recently. I think I may have vertigo. :/ No, I’ve never passed out before. 18. Do you feel that you are more of a right-brained person or a left-brained person? I guess left-brained. Not good with numbers, though. 19. Do you feel that you are smart? In what ways? In what ways do you feel dumb, if at all? I feel I’m just very average. 20. Are you capable of doing a headstand? For How long? Nope. 21. When’s the last time you felt like banging your head against a wall? Why? I get in irritable, frustrated moods quite often. 22. Have you ever bit someone’s head off before? When was the last time? Haha my dumbass took this literally and I was like wtf kind of question is this??? As though it’s normal to go around biting people’s head off or something lmao. I get the expression now. Anyway, I don’t lash out or yell at people. I can get short and snippy, but I don’t yell. 23. When was the last time you buried your head in the sand? The past few years, really. 24. When a coin is being flipped, do you usually pick “heads” or  “tails”? Heads. 25. Have you ever fallen head over heels in love? I sure felt that way. 26. When was the last time you couldn’t make heads or tails of something? I can’t make sense of myself or some of the things I’ve been dealing with. 27. Have you ever had to drum something into someone’s head? Yeah. 28. Have you ever dressed from head to toe in only one color? Yeah.  29. Are you the type of person who likes to get a head start on things? I’m a major procrastinator, unfortunately. 30. Are you good at solving puzzles and riddles? Ehh, depends. 31. Are you capable of keeping your head above water? I’ve been drowning. 32. Have you ever given someone a head start in a race before? Has anyone ever give you a head start? Yes and yes. 33. Who was the last person that you weren’t able to get out of your head? It’s been awhile since I’ve experienced that.

34. When was the last time that someone went over your head? There’s stuff that goes over my head sometimes, at least initially and then I’m like, “Ohhh I got it.” 35. When was the last time you headed someone off? I don’t recall. 36. Have you ever given head before? How about received? No and no. 37. Has anyone ever told you that you “hit the nail right on the head”? Yes. 38. When was the last time that you felt like you were in over your head? I’ve felt that way for a long time. 39. Do you feel like your life is headed in the right direction? If not, what can you do to change all of that? No. I’ve felt really lost and unsure these past few years. 40. What was the last thing that you lost your head about? Upset and frustrated about stuff I was dealing with. 41. Do you wear any headbands or bandanas on your head? No. 42. What are your favorite types of hats to wear, if any? Beanies or baseball style caps. 43. Has anyone ever accused you of having a big head before? No. I’m not arrogant or cocky or anything of that sort. I’m certainly not full of myself. 44. Have you ever had to take a head count of people before? For what reason? Yeah, different reasons. 45. Have you ever been headbutted before? I’ve bumped heads (literally) and yeah it’s not fun. Ow. 46. Have you ever had head lice before? When I was a kid.  47. Do you think that it would be interesting be able to read the thoughts of others? Yeah, sometimes. I’d want the ability to be able to turn it on and off, though. 48. Do you ever act on impulse, without thinking? How often? I’m more hesitant and think about stuff first. 49. When was the last time that you experienced a head cold? It’s been a long time. 50. Who is the head of your household? My parents? 51. Have you ever gone down a slide or a flight of stairs head first before? No. 52. Can you be pig-headed or bull-headed at times? I am very stubborn. 53. Do you have an attached or flexible showerhead? I do. 54. Do you often wake up with a bad case of bed head? It’s not too bad. 55. Are you capable of giving answers off the top of your head? I’m the worst. I know I’d absolutely freeze up if I were ever on a game show. I’d suddenly forget everything I ever knew. I’m not good with being put on the spot. 56. When was the last time you experienced a head rush of some sort? I’m not sure. 57. Do you own any bobbleheads? Of who? Yeah, a Chewbacca one. 58. Are you the type of person who plays head games? No. Ugh, I can’t stand that. I’ve known people who do that. 59. Are you an emotional headcase? Yes. 60. When was the last time you laughed your head off? It’s been a long time since I’ve had a really good laugh like that. 61. What was the last thing you had to try to wrap your head around? 2020 was pretty difficult. 62. Do you believe the saying that “two heads are better than one”? Yeah. It can certainly be helpful to have two people thinking and working together to come up with ideas and whatnot. 63. When was the last time you tried to keep your head down? Whenever I go out, I guess. I’m just like ew don’t look at me. 64. What was the last thing that you gave someone a heads up about? I don’t remember. 65. When was the last time you believed something but in reality, it was all just in your head? Hmm.  66. Who is the last person you butted heads with, and why? My dad. We’re a lot alike and we sometimes end up butting heads. 67. Have you ever been called a bonehead before? By who? I don’t think so. 68. Do you have a few screws loose up there in your head? Is there a light in the window but nobody’s home? It sure feels that way. 69. Do you make decisions more with your head or your heart? It depends, but my emotions definitely get the best of me a lot of the time. 70. What are some techniques that you use in order to clear your head? I’m definitely not the one to ask about that. I could use some tips. 71. Do you know anyone who’s a real hot head? Who? Yes. 72. Have you ever had a gun held t your head before, or felt that way? I’ve felt that way, but no I’ve never actually been held at gunpoint.  73. Have you ever had your head examined/scanned by a medical professional before? If so, what sorts of tests were done? No. 74. How often do you walk around with your head in the clouds? My mind does drift and wander a lot. 75. Is your head just filled with all sorts of useless knowledge? My mind is a jumbled mess. 76. Do you worry a lot or have anxiety at all? Yeppp. 77. Have you ever had suicidal thoughts before? Have you ever acted on them before? Yes, but no I’ve never acted on them. 78. Have you eyes ever felt like they were going to pop out of your head? I don’t think so. 79. Who’s head would you like to see on a platter? Uhh, I’m good. 80. When was the last time a lightbulb went off in your head? What was the realization about? Hmm.  81. Is there anything you feel like you could do, standing on your head? No. 82. When’s the last time you put your head in the lion’s mouth? I don’t tend to deliberately place myself in dangerous situations. 83. Where are you headed off to now? I should probably finally drag myself outta bed now... it’s almost 5PM.

[ohsh1t2wksl8]

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #170

UPDATE 170: Dave Gets His Epiphany

Last time Hussie had decided it was time to pour even more dialogue onto the readers, since last time it hadn’t been enough, hah! Ten different dialogue options – presented linearly, in a subversion of how this usually goes. So let’s continue with what may or may not be the last chance these characters have of talking to each other before the fights.

So I heard that hovering over the options one already cleared would show images, and that was right! There are images. It seems Dave and Dirk continue just...lying around awkwardly, and Vriska and her ghost are arguing while Meenah fantasizes about varied stuff. There’s more than can be done, although the very next option is Roxy being alone. She’s still trying to create the matriorb. Calliope is sitting right in front of her, in silent support role. Roxy channels the universe and Alternia’s complicated state of matters, and...

Well! Mission accomplished! That was easier than I thought it’d be, even with Calliope’s silent help. I suppose there wasn’t more time for delaying this any longer. Kanaya is going to be immensely happy the troll race will be resurrected now. This was a short detour, completely devoid of words but with a significant development – at least to complete quite some part of Roxy and Kanaya’s arcs and goals in this story.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, Roxy and Calliope leave right when the bizarre combination that is Jasprosesprite arrives to hassle Jane for a while longer. I’m crossing my fingers this’ll be quick and painless.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Miss me Rose?  JASPROSESPRITE^2: Did you know I love you?? Weird thing for me to say and you to hear, probably!  JASPROSESPRITE^2: I inherited the adoration our cat had for you, which now strangely is directed with the exact same intensity at myself, because I'm you!  JASPROSESPRITE^2: Funnily enough this manifests itself in a particularly acute form of narcissism, which is something we were already sort of afflicted by, and so was our cat by the very nature of the sort of animal he was!  JASPROSESPRITE^2: The bottom line is I'm pretty twisted up inside in all the most beautiful ways and it's wonderful.  ROSE: It really isn't.

Haha, okay, that one was actually pretty funny. She’s not wrong, Rose, you do tend to have slight traces of narcissism in your personality. Guess that all the increased narcissism in this sprite is what makes it have absolutely no brain-mouth filter, what with having an inflated sense of the self and what one says. Being a cat can’t help that either.

Now that Jasperosesprite made the customary hassling towards Rose, she gets straight to business about the battle plan. She has to arrange with Jane how it’ll be done, after all. This is achieved by taking Jane away without even giving her a moment to prepare. There’s someone she needs to meet, somebody in Jane’s planet.

Ah, true, the denizen. The New Wonderkids’ session was rather lacking in information about the denizens, especially since this session was meant to do pretty much nothing. Given Hussie’s track record so far, I’m almost completely sure that Jane’s talk with the denizen will happen off-screen and the characters will talk about it once it’s done, so...no more option than waiting until this is done!

Damn it , I have been bamboozled! Well played, Hussie, you had me fooled, I admit it. This could be good, though, not everyday you meet a senior version of yourself that’s dressed as a clown and...is the mother of your father. This is time-travel-gone-wrong levels of weird.

Aw, come on, Hussie, I wanted to see this! But nope, just when Nannasprite got in front of Jane the section ended and went to the next. Oh well. I’m really hoping I’ll have the chance to see how this goes, but I’m not going to hold my breath over it. The scribbled images of what the rest of the options are doing show John and Terezi discussing how Rose could have a black romance status with, uh, a version of herself. Yeeeeeeah no, let’s not do that. Doesn’t seem healthy – just ask Karkat, it’d be a headache.

About Roxy and Calliope, they just arrived to what I think is Jade’s planet, and Calliope is told to stay with Jade. I had completely forgotten Jade is still asleep. It’s once again said that it’s nice to have Calliope around. And...that was it! I just summarized around six or so pages in this very short paragraph.

I think that goes way beyond the realm of kismesis behavior Rose...and out of the realm of sanity as well. Stay away from any copies of the Sassacre book, resist the temptation. Anyways, Dave and Dirk are still here. Going to try to talk again? They’re focusing more on the battle to come than on anything else. Hah! No progress on the heartfelt conversation front, apparently.

DAVE: hes got lord english powers tho

It could be a way to know how well a fight against Lord English would go, then. Sure, Union Jack is completely different, less bulky, has no time powers, and presumably has one single personality in that noggin of his instead of being a weird amalgamation, but it’d be a way to see if they are ready to fight against Lord English. Think of it as having training wheels on your bike.

Swords can’t help you solve problems with people, who’d have thought. Dirk and Jake are the closest example to how someone who has spent their formative years alone and without the presence of people around would behave: with no social skills at all. Jade got very lucky in that regard, she is very well-balanced for someone who grew on an island and only had a dog for company. Then again, her Dreamself must have been of help, the Prospitians must have helped her have some people skills.

DIRK: ...  DAVE: ...

Nothing has changed here.

It takes a few pages more before Dirk takes the plunge headfirst down the emotional cliff, with all the grace of a novice. It does get the conversation going, mostly about how this isn’t how he pictured the meeting going.

DIRK: Maybe you'll think it's weird that I idolized some version of you that I never knew. 

These two are much more similar than they each realize. Their upbringings aren’t that different, heck, I’d say that Lil’ Hal fulfilled the role Bro had, just with less sword attacks. Other than that it was pretty much the same, an isolated life with an aloof person/glasses in the vicinity. Come on, Dave, admit you idolized Bro. That’d be a great step towards turning the page in your life and bonding with Dirk, you can do it!

DAVE: ive got to say  DAVE: meeting you  DAVE: its not rockin my world here  DAVE: or upending any paradigms or whatever  DAVE: listening to you and looking at you  DAVE: it really really just  DAVE: reminds me of him

Close enough! I’m a bit downtrodden there was no exchange of words between Bro and Dave so I could have a reference on how similar this actual situation is to how they got along. I imagine Bro wasn’t that different from Dirk.

DIRK: Things, between you and me, from your perspective, um,  DIRK: Are we like, not cool?  DAVE: ..................

I’m not sure if it’s telling or not that there was no ‘yeah’ or similar quick response.

DAVE: i didnt fuckin like you that much ok? 

...

...

...okay, that isn’t how I thought it’d go. I suppose there’s a difference between idolizing and actually liking a person. Good for you for saying it aloud, Dave. It must have been very difficult to say to anybody, even more to a version of your brother.

After a sequence of images meant to show how little time passed between Dave going “I don’t want to talk about it” to “okay heres what im saying” he finally starts...and boy is it tough.

DAVE: i dunno why my friends got to have adults around who cared about them  DAVE: they complained bitterly about stuff so i guess i convinced myself they were all in the same boat as me  DAVE: but thats not how it was 

That’s pretty much how kids and teenagers are, they complain and don’t realize sometimes such complaints aren’t about things as bad as they could be. Leaving behind such behavior is part of growing up. Dave didn’t realize how badly he was being treated, though, he just saw no difference between his life and the lives of the rest of his friends – at first.

DAVE: so all thats left to do is look back and try to put the pieces together of my first 13 years  DAVE: and all i can think is what the fuck WAS that?!  DAVE: i dont come away with the impression i used to try convincing myself of, that he was like "mysterious" or "stern" or "aloof"  DAVE: the only feeling left is this insane impression that i was raised by somebody who fuckin HATED me 

...hated you? Hm...honestly? I don’t know. Bro’s way of raising Dave had a lot of things wrong, and I really don’t know how to interpret it. I’m interested on knowing how other people interpreted it. Would you mind telling me your thoughts, everyone? I really don’t know what to think about this.

Dirk actually sounds horrified about what he’s hearing. Perhaps he doesn’t like the thought of his equivalent doing this all?

DAVE: it took years to deconstruct it all and put it back together to understand how fuckin mad i should be  DAVE: and in particular how stone cold deeply uncared for i was my whole life  DAVE: like... being merely "monitored" by a violent robot 

Haha...you know what this brought to mind? What went through my head right when I read this part?

TT: Don't worry, that's normal.  TT: Upon activation he goes into Stalking Mode.  GT: Stalking mode??  TT: Yes. He will stalk you in the jungle and strike when your guard is down. 

It’s exactly that. Dave pretty much described the robot Dirk made and sent to Jake. It’s pretty much the same in terms of how Dave was raised! Wow, Hussie, did you do this on purpose? I think you did this on purpose! Dave may as well have been raised by the brobot thing, and just like Jake – who dreaded encountering it and once he had to fight it didn’t precisely have loads of fun – Dave now doesn’t want to fight. He wants to avoid this fighting thing, and hates that he has to be the one to grab the sword and slay the villain.

You seriously screwed up here, Bro.

Dave even brings up that maybe things would have been better if Lil’ Cal hadn’t been around. Maybe! The influence of Lord English can’t be an ingredient in a healthy household – even more since part of Lord English is once another version of Dirk. Hah! Life sucks for the Striders. It’s...it’s rather depressing, actually. I wonder if at the time they had to cram Caliborn into the puppet Dave realized what Lil’ Cal was. Even if he did, I doubt he’d have any kind of reaction when anyone was nearby, but at that moment I imagine many things clicked in Dave’s head.

Would Bro have been any different if that puppet of the damned hadn’t been around? Uh...I dunno. Maybe it really was a poisonous influence of some sort, influence Dirk was lucky not to have. It’s all up to interpretation, I’d say.

I think now that the epiphany is complete I can stop the update and continue next time. This, though, this is exactly what I was hoping the Striders would do, that at least one of them would unload this heavy emotional baggage, and it’s for the better! I’m glad it’s actually happening.

Next update: three updates

[brainsinmyheadfeetinmyshoes]

3y8m, 2y5m, 4m

I can’t even remember the last time I posted an update about the kids. Without daily, dedicated computer time, it’s hard to remember to set time aside for my blog. But we are in the last few days of 2017, and if this is my only thoughtful update in a six-month period, it’ll still be worth it.

Lucian has been in preschool since August. He has done so well--when a kid is ready, many concerns dissipate. I wasn’t a fan of the full-day schedule, but he does completely fine with a nap at school, and has never once seemed exhausted in the evening. He potty trained within two weeks of starting, and it was whole hog--he sleeps all night in underwear and hasn’t had a single accident. His speech is getting so articulate, and he’s actually talkative, whereas his toddler tendency was to silently observe. He is still seeing a speech therapist once a week at school, and he is still working toward the goals identified in his IEP this past February, but the gap is closing. We’ll meet with her in January so I’m curious to hear what she has to say. 

He continues to grow in Spanish too, though it is not as complex. I was super pleased a few weeks ago when he asked our neighbor for a “chupon,” which is a baby pacifier, but he was trying to ask for a straw because you use it to “chupar,” suck. So there was some serious language logic going on with his word choice and I love it.

His teacher says he’s one of the leaders in the class, and he has one or two shadows that follow his lead. Guess that’s his firstborn-ness coming through. School has unlocked singing and dancing within him now too, and he is no longer shy to participate in either activity, so long as everyone is doing it. He still gets goofy and nervous and doesn’t want the attention if we ask him to perform, which is his father’s genetics at play, but listening to him sing Jingle Bells to himself while he plays, or watching him do his awkward 3yo dance moves brings me such joy.

He had a couple prickly months, behavior-wise, with a lot of “No,” “I want to smack you,” “Go away,” etc., type language and deliberate disobedience. It started mid-summer, and I wondered if it had to do with my pregnancy, or with the dreaded mid-year threenager phase. But this past weekend, it’s like he had a breakthrough and was extremely docile and polite. It may have been because my parents were visiting so he felt stimulated and like he had plenty of attention, but the good behavior has lasted a full week now. He IS only four months away from turning 4, so maybe this is the natural exit. I’d be really happy about that. It’s been really hard to deal with his willful challenging, knowing that that isn’t really “him,” when he’s naturally easygoing and open to guidance, but having to discipline bad behavior earnestly anyway. He and Erik had an evening outing this week and Erik really enjoyed it, so I’ll have a mother-son date this holiday week with him too. We get the least amount of solo time with him, and he arguably needs the most, considering how loving and attached he is.

Lionel is also coming out of a rough patch. Or should I say, he’s growing up, haha. He’s not quite 2.5, but finnnnnnaaaaallllly has some reasoning abilities, and is finally open to our suggestions instead of just being headstrong. We’ve had sooooooo many nights in his life where he wakes up screaming and WILL NOT STOP for 2-3 hours. He gets himself into a loop and it doesn’t break. Nothing can break it. Not loving compassion, not threats, not yelling, not distraction, not water, not food, not ignoring. It just goes, and goes, and goes. But he’s to the point now where we can bargain him out of it--”If you want to cry, I have to leave. If you want me to stay, you have to stop crying.” And it’s actually WORKING. He can turn off the waterworks in a flash. During the day, if he gets worked into a fit, I’ll tell him, “Sometimes when we’re sad we need some alone time. Please go upstairs to cry and when you’re done you can come back down.” And he’ll go upstairs! He makes a point to sit on his bed for a dozen wails, then tells me from the top of the stairs, “I’m done crying, Mama,” and comes back down, totally fine. (Lucian is not as willing to be isolated, but he, too, will go upstairs to cry when it’s a crazy, overblown tantrum.) It’s one of the best tactics, born of desperation, I’ve ever used.

But Lionel has a different quality from his father’s genetics--the feeling that rules don’t apply to him. He gets out of his bed multiple times after we put him to sleep, even though we repeat the two rules of bedtime constantly--stay in your bed and be quiet. If Lucian is present, he turns into a clown, and gets into all kinds of mischief. We’ve started to have Lucian nap in our bed on weekends, expressly because Lionel will go right to sleep as long as he’s solo. So there’s something to the whole not-sharing-a-room thing. *eye roll* Two nights ago I went in after bedtime and told him, “If I have to come back again, I have to give you a swat,” and he just nodded deeply, with a dopey smile, and whispered, “Yaaaaaaaaas.” How do you react to that?! Sigh.

We’re trying to impose a whisper-only rule at bedtime, applicable to us too, so as to invite peace and rest into our home. It is reaaaaally hard for me though, since bedtime comes at the end of a 13-hour day with three children and I just can’t even. I’m ready to zone out with Netflix and knitting and not talk to anyone for the next 11 hours, and they’re inclined to push my buttons. But we’re making slow headway, reading books in a whisper, talking in a whisper, not yelling when we tell Lionel to get in his bed for the third time, and I hope that the eventual payoff is that they whisper together before falling asleep instead of playing long, drawn-out games. If I gave one piece of advice to anyone just starting their family, right now it would be to implement the whisper-at-bedtime rule from Day 1. Set the expectation early.

But Lionel is sooooo much fun. He’s inquisitive and a performer and fun-loving. He is a parrot for speech, and repeats everything we say, English or Spanish. He knows soooo many lyrics to Christmas songs, and we’ve barely been listening to them for a month. He learned the ABCs and I’m a Little Teapot from Lucian. He recites stories with me. He asks, “Why, Mama, why?” for evvvveeeerrrryyyything. “Why you sneeze, Mama, why?” “Why he sad, Mama, why?” “Why you change my diaper, Mama, why?” This is acquired language from Lucian, who adds the tag to the end of his questions, too, but Lionel’s questioning is incessant, and it tires me out, haha. I thought I had another year or two before the typical child questioning kicked in, but it started early with Lionel. And it’s not like he understands the answers, but he parrots them right back to me anyway, so his little noggin is constantly working.

He also mimics Lucian’s every behavior. If Lucian lays on his stomach to watch a video, Lionel will copy him. If Lucian comes into the room to show me his book, Lionel does too. If Lucian doesn’t want a banana, Lionel doesn’t want a banana (but he really does). Both boys are finally advanced enough to learn from one another, but it’s pretty cute to realize that he is, and always will be, secondborn, admiring his brother.

One way he differs though, is that he’s more interested in stuffed animals, babies, plush toys, etc. He likes to have one or two animals in his bed every night, and he “borrowed” Celia’s new Christmas penguin to use as a pillow a few nights ago. He likes to push a baby doll in the baby stroller, and gets a huge thrill from the one hand puppet we have. So that’s been interesting, since Lucian still tosses stuffed animals off the bed and has never gotten into the baby dolls.

He is totally ready for school already. He gets right in the mix when we visit Lucian’s classroom, sitting on the rug and doing what the big kids do. He doesn’t follow classroom rules of course, but it’s hard to say whether it’s because he’s 2, or because he’s Lionel. But interestingly, being home alone all day with me and Celia, he doesn’t often seem bored. He self-entertains easily, going from the cars, to the Legos, to the puppet, to the books. Of course he’d prefer that someone play with him, but he’s not reliant on Lucian or on me for entertainment at all. 

He and Lucian play peacefully together more often than not, and they’re getting better at problem-solving, too. They offer spontaneous hugs, and ask each other to kiss minor boo-boos. The only time they really get worked up is when a toy-snatch happens, which are 50/50 these days. So with a bit more self-regulation in the coming years, they really will be wonderful playmates and friends.

And then there’s Celia. The easiest baby, ever. I never really believed when parents said their baby was a good sleeper, but now I wonder how badly we screwed our first two up with sleep, haha. Celia necessarily spends a lot of time in her cradle, so she puts herself to sleep easily. In fact, she gets out of sorts if we try to hold her while she falls asleep, growing crankier and resisting shuteye, but the minute she’s down, she turns her head, twists her body around so she’s on her side, and knocks out. She also has a strong preference for the pacifier, rather than the boob, for comfort. While she is still bedsharing and nurses at night, she always unlatches, whereas Lionel in particular, but Lucian too, would nurse for comfort and require unlatching. She doesn’t use the pacifier at night, but during the day, she likes to have it for napping. It is sooooo hard not to pop it in her mouth at every turn, but we really try not to give it to her if she’s not crying or sleepy. I hope she rejects it at 7mo, as the boys both did, but I think she might be more attached it. We’ll see.

She is between 4-5mo now, and hitting that point where she is alert and engaged, but has zero control over her body, so she’s a bit more high-maintenance. She tires easily whether she’s doing tummy time, or propped up, or held on her feet, or laying on her back, and she can’t use her hands yet, so she needs a lot of support during her wakeful periods. But hand control is on its way--when a toy is held in front of her, she looks intently at it, then her hands spring to her mouth (empty) and she gets all in a tizzy, because she wants the toy. And if the toy is put into her hands (or she inadvertently pulls the pacifier from her mouth), she watches it with such fascination as her hands swing it around.

She is chatty, perhaps the same or more so than Lionel was. We’ll take a dozen “turns” talking before she gets over it. She has a broad range of vocalization too, experimenting with higher pitches, and she’s starting to attempt consonants, not just coos.

With the first baby, every milestone seems far away, and each phase in babyhood seems to last a long time, but by the third, it goes so fast. It’s so hard to believe that in only 6-8 weeks, we’ll put her in a high chair and give her some avocado. The fragile newborn is already behind us, and the interactive baby is emerging.

The boys are so much more interested in her, and loving, than I expected. I thought they’d kind of ignore her for a few months, but Lionel in particular likes to be ON her, giving kisses, tucking her in, poking her eyes, tugging her hands, etc. It’s a little much, but well-intentioned. Lucian repeats to me constantly, “I like Celia, I like our baby.” Both of them say some version of “When you learn to walk, I can hold your hand,” with Lionel’s version hardly recognizable, but a good effort. It’s something like, “When you nana na na na walk, I’cn ho yo han.”

I have three precious kids, and I can’t believe it some days. But they fill my cup.

[officialvalbarnes]

Eggcelent Breakfast Muffins | The Hunger Challenge Day One

This post is sponsored by Sprouts Farmers Market. As always, all opinions are straight from my own noggin’. I only work with brands I 100% believe in & use regularly. Thank you for supporting the brands that keep Life of a Vegaholic going.

Hunger is a real issue in America that most people don’t take the time to talk about. I’ve talked about hunger on the blog before and it’s an issue I’m very passionate about putting a stop to. With that being said, Life of a Vegaholic will be doing the Hunger Challenge. Now you’re probably wondering what in the world is the “Hunger Challenge”. The Hunger Challenge is a challenge where you basically put yourself in the shoes of someone who is dealing with food insecurity. For a certain amount of days, you have to cook all your meals using the average food stamp budget which is $4.50 per person for the whole day. Yes, you read that right.

I’m going to be uploading a new recipe using only approximately $1.12 or less per meal ($4.50 / 4) a day for 4 days straight for each meal course (breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack). I don’t think I’ve ever done anything like this before, so I’m super excited and nervous. I don’t know which one I’m more of.

For the Hunger Challenge, I went to Sprouts Farmers Market to go grocery shopping. If you guys know me, you guys know that I love Sprouts and that I’ve been shopping there for THE longest time. I’ve known about them when they were formerly known as Henry’s Market. #LongTimeFan. I’ve talked about them on the blog before and I’m super excited to say that I’m actually partnering with them for this challenge. I really love how they make healthy living convenient and affordable. My goal is to show you guys that you don’t have to spend an arm and a leg to eat healthy, nutritious, and fulfilling food through this Hunger Challenge. You can eat healthy even if you are on a tight budget. Sprouts’ affordable prices made this challenge easier.

Today’s recipe is all about breakfast. I’m going to be showing you all how to make these delicious Eggcelent Breakfast Muffins. Can we just give a round of applause for these fluffy muffins?! They are so fluffy and thick. Plus, I got some of the ingredients on sale at Sprouts. Haha. They had bell peppers 4 for $5, which sounded pretty good to me. They also had it where you could get 2 lbs of yellow onions for $1. I am all about the sales guys. 

With school back in session and people going back to work, you’ll probably be spending a lot more time doing work and a lot less time cooking. This is literally my life in a sentence. Haha! I get so consumed with my school work and extracurriculars that I forget about food, which isn’t good. For me, I need my breakfast to be something that is grab-n-go, quick, easy, and really really good to my tummy. This is where these Eggcelent Breakfast Muffins come in and solve all of your breakfast problemas. These muffins are just all around eggcelent. Hehe! You can pair these muffins with some fruit or with some toast if you want to. Gosh, I wish I had one of these in my mouth right at this moment. 

What You’ll Need: 

Makes 4 big muffins

Serving: 2 muffins / approximately $0.50 per serving 

- 2 eggs + 2 egg whites ($0.13 per egg + $0.10 per egg white)

- ¼ cup of chopped bell pepper ($0.31)

-  1/4 cup of yellow onion ($0.17)

- salt and pepper to taste

- ½ teaspoon of Italian seasoning ($0.03)

- ¼ teaspoon of garlic powder ($0.02)

Directions: 

1. Preheat oven at 400 degrees Fahrenheit. 

2. Spray four muffin tins in a muffin pan or four separate muffin tins with cooking spray.

3. Whisk eggs and egg whites together.

4. Add onions, bell pepper, and seasonings to egg mixture. Mix well.

5. Pour mixture evenly into each muffin tin. 

6. Bake for 20 minutes or until everything has set and has cooked thoroughly. 

7. Enjoy!

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[sciencespies]

Ants could help explain why our brains mysteriously shrank thousands of years ago

https://sciencespies.com/humans/ants-could-help-explain-why-our-brains-mysteriously-shrank-thousands-of-years-ago/

Ants could help explain why our brains mysteriously shrank thousands of years ago

In the 6 million years since our ancestors first branched off from our ancient primate relatives, the volume of the human brain has nearly quadrupled.

What many people don’t realize, however, is that sometime after the last ice age, that very brain actually began to shrink.

The result is that today, our brains are slightly smaller than those of early humans living 100,000 years ago, and yet no one really knows when or why this happened.

Now, a biological anthropologist, a behavioral ecologist, and an evolutionary neurobiologist have put their heads together and offered up an intriguing new hypothesis.

It’s based on the evolutionary history of a brain a million times smaller than our own: that of the humble ant.

If you’re thinking, ‘What does an ant have in common with a human?’, you might be surprised to learn it’s quite a lot, actually.

Although ants and humans are only distantly related, we have both evolved to develop incredibly social lives, forming large, complex, kin-oriented societies. What’s more, within these societies, labor is divided among workers of different specialties, with some ant species even producing their own crops like little farmers.

When researchers analyzed models of the brain size, structure, and energy use of worker ants, they found evidence the organ had adapted to become more efficient in social groups.

Perhaps, the authors suggest, the human brain has been similarly shaped by collective intelligence, where knowledge can be shared and distributed among a colony or community.

With the dawn of human society, they further explain, human knowledge could be externalized and passed on to others in the group, distributing information among multiple people instead of storing it all in each person. The cutting of this ‘intellectual fat’ could, theoretically, free up the brain to become more efficient at a smaller number of jobs.

“If group decision-making generated adaptive group responses exceeding the cognitive accuracy and speed of individual decisions and had a fitness consequence,” the authors suggest, “then human brain size may have decreased as a consequence of metabolic cost savings.”

In this line of reasoning, the advent of the written word could also have contributed to greater energy efficiency in the human brain.

The authors acknowledge their hypothesis is based on a “theory of theories” that probably can’t explain all the size changes in our brains throughout our evolutionary history. But the timing certainly makes sense. 

When researchers analyzed nearly a thousand skulls of fossilized and modern humans, they found the reduction in human brain size began quite recently, occurring only about 3,000 years ago.

That’s far earlier than previous estimates and several millennia after writing systems first began to emerge in the historical record.

This means the shrinkage of our brains could broadly parallel the expansion of collective intelligence in human society, adding weight to the new hypothesis.

Other hypotheses have suggested our noggins began to shrink after the last ice age, either from a shift in our diets, or in response to the general size reduction of our bodies. Yet the new timeline does not support either of these explanations.

The current research won’t solve the mystery surrounding the volume of our brains, but it does offer an intriguing new model by which to compare our own evolutionary path.

The authors look forward to having their hypothesis tested in the years to come.

The study was published in Frontiers in Ecology and Evolution.

#Humans