#we call saturday “the sabbath”

[ishparpuaqib]

Polabian mostly follows the usual Slavic convention for naming days of the week (Saturday is *sobota, “the Sabbath”; Sunday is *nedě̀ľa, “[day of] no work”, and Monday is *ponedě̀ľa, “[day] after Sunday”; the rest are numbered starting with *vŭtorŭkŭ, “the second [day]”, i.e. Tuesday), with two very interesting exceptions:

Thursday is perĕndan — “Perun's day”. Wiktionary claims this to be a calque of Low German Dunnersdag, “Thunder's day” (also the etymology of English Thursday, obv). epic

Friday is skǫpĕ, apparently from Proto-Slavic *skǫpŭ — “expensive; valuable” (whence Serbo-Croatian skup, “expensive”). Wiktionary doesn't offer any explanation for the word's etymology, though I wonder whether it could also represent some kind of calque; specifically of Low German Freedag or the like, “Frigg-day”. or is this too much of a stretch..?

[atomicjellycat]

Any of y'all's church had the 'Narional Sunday Law' booklet?

Cause that mf told me to choose the electric chair as a teenager to defend my jesusy rights, or get sent to hell

Real question:

Put your denomination in the tags if yes!

[lost-in-tokyo]

Need help? Call Toji!

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x fem!reader

Summary: When a mission drains you mentally and physically, you see yourself seeking for security and help from none other than Toji Fushiguro, your friend’s dad. 

Word count: 2,4k

Warnings: Toji actually raised Megumi in this one. Reader is in her early 20s and is a sorcerer. Cheating (reader has a boyfriend), oral (female receiving), bathroom sex, doggy style, manting press, multiple orgarsms, unprotected sex, creampie, hair pulling, scratching, ass slapping, daddy kink, age gap, fingering, mentions of blood (reader gets hurt in a mission). Did I forget something?

Being friends with Megumi certainly had many advantages, he was a great listener and always gave honest advice and opinions, he had excellent taste in music and generally didn't complain about listening to you talk nonstop. But surely the best of all was getting to see his dad wearing those tight t-shirts that left nothing to the imagination when you visited their house.

You could still remember the first time you came to the boy's house. It was on a Saturday afternoon, Yuji and Nobara were determined to have a video game championship, and to change the atmosphere a little, Megumi suggested that they did it at his house .

It was a hot summer afternoon and he was outside mowing the lawn, covered in a fine sheen of sweat and wearing only a pair of worn jeans. He wiped the sweat off his forehead with his forearm before slowly looking you up and down.

“Excuse me, does Megumi live here?” You tried to be as polite as possible while holding the hem of your skirt, which between us, wasn't the longest you had.

A light chuckle ripped from his throat before he answered. “Yeah, they’re inside.”

That was a few years ago, and every time you came over to Megumi's, you couldn't deny that you made as much effort as possible not to get nervous and end up stumbling over your own words when the older Fushiguro spoke to you.

It's not that you were in love, far from it, but his incredible height and his heavy layer of muscle intimidated you in an exciting way. Every time that smirk crossed his face as he looked at you, and every time those callused hands touched you in the most unpretentious way possible, you couldn't stop the thoughts that flooded your mind, thinking about what it would be like to hear him moan your name, or how many times he could make you come.

This was wrong.

So wrong!

Especially because you had a boyfriend.

It had been a few months, you had known him through work and he was always a great boyfriend. He did all your wishes, treated you like a princess and was there for everything you needed, but still, you called him when you needed help.

It was late on a Friday night, you had a bleeding leg and your whole body ached after a traumatic mission that went completely off-plan. You had managed to exorcize the curse, but you had paid a high price for it.

Moisture hung in the air, creating a thin layer of haze that lit up as the Toyota pickup that now had several shades of orange, thanks to rust, pulled up. One of its headlights had given out and the car could definitely use a good wash, but you didn't care, as seeing that truck was all you needed to instantly calm down.

“Need a ride, kid?” There was a certain mocking tone to his voice, and even in the dark, you were sure he had a smirk plastered on his face.

You opened the door of the pickup, climbing into the passenger seat, whose leather had dried out and split in places several years ago.

"Hurting?" He referred to your bloodied leg, bound by a belt, which had once been around your waist, to stop the bleeding.

"It still burns, I think I'll need stitches."

"Let's go to my place, I'll help ya with that when we get there."

You nodded slightly, leaning your head back against the seat as you listened to the sound of Black Sabbath coming out of the car's sound system.

The house was all dark, and as you went through the rooms you began to look for the presence of a certain someone.

"He's at Yuji's, helping with something." Toji replied, almost reading your mind.

You followed him upstairs, past his room and into his bathroom.

It was the first time you had entered this part of the house. His room had light walls and dark wood furniture, there was an orangey rug on the floor, but everything looked somehow organized.

His bathroom had gray tiles and a large mirror over the white vanity. The scent of his perfume was much stronger here than the rest of the house, and you could stare at his toiletries for a second before he spoke again.

“Ya can sit on the sink, I’ll take a look at yer wound.”

You did as he said as he crouched down, pulling out a vial of rubbing alcohol and gauze for a bandage. After rummaging through a drawer he found a box with some needles and a small spool of black thread.

He positioned himself in front of you, and then his icy fingers touched your thighs half covered by the fabric of your uniform skirt, making a shiver hit you.

“Don't worry, I won't look.” He assured as he spread your legs slightly apart, before lifting the foot of your injured leg and resting it on the surface of the vanity, making your back rest against the mirror.

For the first time you felt embarrassed. You were fully aware that Toji was seeing your pink panties, despite him acting like he wasn't.

He removed the belt as gently as he could, before taking a good look at your cut.

“That curse got ya good, huh? It didn't cut any arteries though”. Toji looked up, fixing his dark gaze in your eyes, that looked like those of a deer who had just seen the headlights of a car coming towards it. Your pupils were dilated and your eyes looked a shade darker than normal.

He backed away a little, pulling a black lighter from his front pants pocket and running the needle through its flame a few times. After managing to fit the thread and tie the knot he looked at you, almost with resentment for the pain you were about to feel.

“This is goin’ to hurt a little.”

His hands, now a little warmer, touched the inner part of your thigh, making a shiver run through your body. He squeezed your flesh making you gasp slightly before he inserted the needle for the first time.

A groan of pain left your throat and your hands balled into fists, pushing its nails as deep as possible in an attempt to distract your mind from the pain you felt below.

Toji continued the procedure, making eye contact with you at each stitch that was completed, he knew it wasn't time, but he couldn't stop his member from hardening and throbbing with each moan that came out of your lips, that seemed to be oh so soft.

Despite the pain, Toji's hot breath hitting your core, and the touch of his fingers so close to your most intimate area, was making the situation more and more difficult, not because of the pain, but because the pain just made the heat between your legs get worse.

"All done!" Toji was many things, but naive wasn’t one of them. He saw the small pool that formed in your little pink panties, and he saw the way you futilely tried to find a position that would help ease the heat you were feeling.

“Ya want me to take care of this too?” One of his thick fingers ran up and down your cunt, making you catch your breath to repress a moan.

"What do ya say? Want daddy to take care of this pretty lil’ pussy?”

You felt yourself clenching against nothing as you nodded, feeling your cheeks heat up as you maintained eye contact.

"Use your words, sweetheart.”

"Yes please." You said after a moment.

"Please, what?"

“Please, Daddy.”

A smirk spread across Toji's features as he crouched down, resting your freshly treated leg over his shoulder and bringing his face close to your warmth.

He roamed your territory, rubbing his nose against the fabric of your panties, taking a long sniff to absorb the scent of it before giving it a full lick.

Toji pulled your panties to the side, touching your clit masterfully with the tip of his tongue while one of his long fingers penetrated you with ease, thanks to your juices. It didn't take long for him to find your sweet spot, stimulating it while continuing the ministrations with his tongue.

He smiled as your fingers found his hair, tugging lightly at the strands in an attempt to bring him closer. Your soft moans were like the sweetest music to his ears and your taste was like a first meal for a man who had never eaten. He was hungry.

Hungry for you.

Toji had lost track of how many times he had found himself jerking off late at night thinking about you and your little skirts, the way you smiled and the way you said "Mr Fushiguro". It was too much for him. For years he had imagined this moment and now that it had finally happened, he was in no hurry.

Soon Toji's movements had you in a state of frenzy, you felt a knot forming in your belly and it tensed more and more until it burst out with a loud and clear moan, which made his member get even harder, if that was possible.

“I need to fuck ya now.” He grunted, picking you up in his arms before tossing you almost carelessly onto the bed.

You admired while Toji undressed, removing all his clothes, leaving lastly a pair of black boxers that deliciously marked the shape of his member, whose head spilled out of the garment.

He walked over to the bed, pulling you close by your ankle and helping you out of your clothes as quickly as possible, throwing them in all directions across the room before pushing you again.

“It will hurt a little, princess.” He said smirking, before spreading your legs and entering you all at once, not giving you time to adjust.

Toji was right, you weren't used to his size and at first you felt a delicious burning that soon disappeared and was replaced by pure pleasure. You could feel every inch of him, every pulsing vein passing through your tight walls making him groan.

Fushiguro thrust into you with power and mastery, hitting all the right spots. He would grab whatever piece of flesh of yours that was available, your breasts, your ass and pull you close by your shoulders while keeping a pace too fast for you to be quiet.

“Pussy so tight… so good” He leaned down, his mouth taking a hold of one of your nipples as his right hand played with the other.

Your moans echoed through the room as your nails scratched the skin on his back. “Mo-more.” You managed to say, getting hit with a particularly hard thrust before Toji sped his movements even more.

“Look at you, begging for more from someone who isn't your boyfriend. What a bad girl you are!” He tormented you, speaking with his voice, now husky with desire, close to your ear as his hands pushed your thighs until your knees almost touched your shoulders, causing his cock to reach even deeper inside you.

Your mind collapsed and your eyes rolled into the back of your head as the second orgasm of the night hit you, making your legs tremble against his muscular arms.

“Tell me y/n, does he make you cum like this?”

Nothing but a few incomprehensible moans came out of your mouth, still very bewildered with the pleasure that had consumed you. Toji's movements slowed down, coming to almost a stop, causing you to regain consciousness to the point of absorbing his question.

"No!” You almost screamed. “He doesn’t." Your voice much lower now, but still desperate for him to resume his movements, your voice a little hoarse from moaning too loud.

Toji smirked before a dry chuckle ripped from his throat, as if he'd known the answer all along. He pulled out of you ignoring your whimpering and turning you around, placing you on all fours on the mattress of his bed.

Before you could register what was happening, Toji thrusted into you all at once, keeping your back arched as he pulled your hair into a ponytail. His free hand hit your ass precisely a few times, adding to the wave of pleasure that consumed you.

“Toji!” You moaned loudly, your eyes closing, unable to think of anything else but the thick cock fucking you and the man it belonged to.

“You don't know how long I've waited to hear this.” He chuckled lightly, his hand letting go of your hair and bringing you close by the neck. His lips touched your ear, allowing you to hear his every grunt and moan as clearly as possible.

It wasn't long after that familiar feeling started to creep up again, you gripped his arm with both hands, unsure if you could hold yourself in that position much longer.

"Not yet." he gasped. "Together!"

You nodded in agreement, groaning almost tiredly.

Toji sped up his movements, hitting you as deep as possible, making you see stars and moan his name like a mantra, like it was the only word you knew. Outside the room, your moans mixed with the wet sound of your pussy and Toji’s balls hitting you repeatedly could be heard more than clearly.

“Now, doll! Come for me!” Toji pulled you closer, leaning down to kiss your lips, his tongue invading your mouth and quickly gaining dominance, while your nails found the skin of his arms and the strongest orgasm of your entire life took over your body.

Toji's calloused fingers delved into the strands of your hair, pulling you impossibly closer as he filled you to the brim with his thick cum and you shivered uncontrollably against the muscles of his abdomen.

When you finally pulled away, your eyes shed a few tears, your body was exhausted and if it wasn't for Toji holding your waist you would have collapsed on the bed.

Toji admired your state for a few seconds. Hair all messed up, mascara all smudged and irregular breathing, your lips were swollen and he could see his cum running down your legs.

He pinched your cheeks with his thumb and forefinger, keeping your gaze locked with his. “Fuck… are you sure you still want to date that asshole?”

Roblogs, comments and likes are very much appreciated <3

Masterlist

[hellfirehottie]

California Dreamin' - Eddie Munson

Chapter Eleven - Lay all your love on me

Content warnings: Awkward first date (cute though!), brief mentions of trauma, Eddie flashback (okay, a lot of trauma for Eddie, oops!), goofy idiots in love, lots of sexual tension, smut! dirty talk kinda, thigh riding, hand kink / oral fixation kinda? thumb sucking lol. Praise kink, use of "good girl" , possession kink, public sexual activities / voyeurism, untouched m!orgasm (cause I'm a simp for simp Eddie), brief mention of vomiting.

"Don't go wasting your emotion, lay all your love on me,

Don't go sharing your devotion, lay all your love on me."

Lay your love on me - Abba

Saturday / Forest Hills Trailer Park / 12:30pm

[Eddie sways into his bedroom, towel hung low on his hips, humming along to the music playing on his stereo. He closes the door with his hip, dancing along to the music as he runs another towel through his drying hair.] 

Eddie: “Mmm-Mmm-Mhm, Oh yeah, mmm, pow!” [He dramatically throws his towels to the floor, dancing sassily around his room naked] “Mmm-hmm-Mhm, yeah!” 

[Eddie yanks open his drawers and pulls on a pair of underwear and jeans. Continuing to hum to himself he haphazardly opens another draw, looking at his shirts. 

His Hellfire shirt is shoved in the back of the drawer, unworn but clean since Nina had stayed over. He looks at it, contemplating, deep in thought. He looks at his recent favourite Black Sabbath shirt and goes to pick it up. His fingers still, as he looks back at the Hellfire shirt.]

Eddie: [quietly, to himself] “Hellfire or Sabbath, Hellfire or Sabbath, Hellfire or Sabbath. Damn it, just pick one!” 

[Eddie picks up the Hellfire shirt] 

Eddie: [smiling softly] “Hello, old friend.” 

[He pulls the shirt over his head, sprays deodorant and cologne, and pulls on his socks and shoes. Looking at the time, his eyes widen, and he runs out of his room to the kitchen, grabbing his keys on the way.] 

Wayne: [calling out from the living room] “Go get her, son!”  Eddie: “Thanks Wayne!” [bending down to tie his shoes] “Any words of advice?”  Wayne: “Just be yourself!”  Eddie: [smirking] “Garbage advice, Wayne!” [running out the door] “Don’t wait up!” 

[Eddie jumps in his van and speeds to Nina and Robin’s house.] 

Robin: [perfecting Nina’s hair] “And what are we going to do?”  Nina: [nervous] “Be myself. Not panic.”  Robin: “Good, and what are we not going to do?”  Nina: [rhetorical, uneasy]  “Be a messy, disastrous basket case?”  Robin: [wincing, sarcastic] “Needs work but it’ll do.” [smacking Nina on the ass as she walks out the front door] “Go get ‘em tiger!” 

[Nina rolls her eyes and closes the front door. As she turns around, she sees Eddie on the front door step, hand extended ready to knock on the door.] 

Nina: (shy) “Hi, Eddie.”  Eddie: (warmly) “Hey, gorgeous.” [looking at her up and down, smiling] “You look beautiful.”  Nina: [nervously] “Thanks, you too- I mean, you look h-handsome, you look good.” [she closes her eyes, embarrassed] “Fuck.” [smiling] “Sorry, I’m a little nervous.”  Eddie: (teasingly) “It’s okay, I know I look beautiful.” [Nina blushes, Eddie relishes in it] “Ready to go?”  Nina: [patting her backpack full of snacks, cheeky] “Ready when you are, beautiful.” 

[Eddie and Nina sing along to a mixtape Eddie made - the one he promised Nina he would make- for an hour while driving to a small village outside of Hawkins. Eddie lies down the picnic blanket he bought especially for the occasion, offering Nina his hand with a courtesy to sit down. They sit under a tree, unpacking their food.] 

Nina: (sweetly) “Ham and cheese or peanut butter and jelly?”  Eddie: “Peanut butter and jelly please.”  Nina: [handing him a sandwich, looking around curiously] “So, how do you know about this place?”  Eddie: [looking around, smiling] “My mom used to take me here when I was little.” [pointing at the park] “She used to push me on the swings there.” [pointing at the river] “And we used to feed the ducks there. And a secret third thing which will be revealed later.”  Nina: (teasing) "Ooh that’s ominous, I’ll refrain from asking questions since it’ll ruin the mystery.”  Eddie: (teasing her back) “Hey, you’re learning!” [Nina rolls her eyes and swats him playfully]  Nina: [smiling to herself, eating her sandwich] “I can just imagine little Eddie running around playing in the park. I bet you were a little terror.”  Eddie: (cheeky) “I’ll have you know I was a darling little angel as a child.”  Nina: (scoffing, cheeky) “What changed then?”  Eddie: [mock offence] “Hey! I’m still a darling little angel.”  Nina: (teasing) “Says the Satanist cult leader of Hawkins.”  Eddie: (laughing) “You got me on that one!”  ---------------------------------------------------

Nina: [lying back on the blanket, pointing up at the sky] “That cloud looks like a bat.”  Eddie: [smug, amused] “I think it looks like a cloud.”  Nina: [sarcastic, light-hearted] “You know, when you graduate you should seriously consider a career in comedy, you’re so funny Eddie.”  Eddie: [cheeky] “Or a cloud designer.”  Nina: [rolling her eyes but can’t help but smile] “You’re impossible.”  Eddie: [pointing up] “That one looks like a dolphin.”  Nina: “Where?” [she shuffles closer to Eddie, resting her head on his shoulder, his stomach flips] “Oh yeah, it does!” 

[Eddie squeaks with happiness as Nina lies down on him, he tries to cover it with a cough] 

Nina: (confused) “What was that noise?”  Eddie: [trying to play it off, embarrassed] “What noise? I didn’t hear any noise.”  Nina: (grinning) “You made a weird squeaking sound.”  Eddie: [dismissive, voice squeaky with nerves] “No I didn’t.”  Nina: “You’re doing it now!” [loving how embarrassed Eddie is] “What’s up with you?”  Eddie: [flushed, nervous] “You just lay your head on me, I thought it was cute.” [Nina grins harder] “And my body betrayed me and decided to embarrass me ‘cause… yeah…”  Nina: (teasingly) “Cute.” [she rests her head on Eddie’s shoulder again, smiling] “Should I expect squeaking sounds every time I touch you?”  Eddie: (cheeky) “Depends on how you’re touching me.”  Nina: [swatting him playfully] “Perv.” 

[Eddie blushes and presses a gentle kiss on the top of her head, inhaling her coconut shampoo and smiles to himself. Nina smiles as she feels the kiss on her head.] 

Nina: [Nina notices Eddie’s Hellfire shirt] “Hey, that’s my shirt!” [Eddie looks at her, confused] “That’s my sleepover shirt.”  Eddie: “Oh, yeah, uh, I made it a few years back.” (blushing) “I don’t wear it very often anymore.”  Nina: (flirty) “You should, it looks good on you.” [curious] “I’ve seen the rest of Hellfire wear that shirt but I’ve never seen you wear one. It suits you.”  Eddie: (flirty) “Really? Cause I think it looks much better on you.” [whispering in her ear] “Especially when it’s the only thing you wear.” [a shiver runs down Nina’s spine]  Nina: “Again, perv.”  Eddie: (cheeky) “Can’t help it, I’ve got a gorgeous girl lying on me who is feeding me sandwiches and cookies, I’m happy.”  Nina: (curious) “Why don’t you wear it anymore?”  Eddie: “Well…” 

Flashback - January / the trailer park / 8pm 

Wayne: “Right I’m off to work, I’ll see you in the- Eddie, you okay?” 

[Eddie is lying in bed, covers pulled high over his shoulders, glumly watching the snow outside.] 

Eddie: (flatly) “I’m fine. I’ll see you in the morning.”  Wayne: (concerned) “Not feeling well?”  Eddie: [tearing up] “I-“ [he clears his throat of his tears, stubborn] “I’m fine. Just tired.”  Wayne: [after pause, trying to uplift him] “You’ve got band practice tonight, right?”  Eddie: (quietly) “I’m not going.”  Wayne: “I see.”  [struggling] “Why don’t you give Dustin a ring? I know he’d love to help you with your new campaign.”  Eddie: “I scrapped the campaign.”  Wayne: (defeated) “Is there anything I can do?”  Eddie: [with a fake smile] “It’s okay, I’ll be fine.” (Gently) “I’ll see you in the morning.”  Wayne: [torn] “You know where I am if you need me.” [Wayne exits the trailer] 

[Eddie sighs, watching the snow fall. It reminds him of the ash falling from the sky in the upside down.] 

Eddie: [sighing sadly, tearing up again] “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, Chrissy.” 

[Eddie’s tears turn to anger. He looks around his room, enraged at the metal band posters, the D&D figurines, the clutter and chaos. He wants to tear his room to shreds. 

He begins heaving with anger. His trembling hands push everything off his desk onto the floor, he crumples up his bedding and tosses it across the room, he empties his clothes from his drawers onto the floor. 

The Hellfire shirt takes his eye. He snatches it and storms outside, picking up a bottle of whisky from the kitchen counter. 

He wrenches open the trailer door, slamming it behind him. The cold snow nips at his skin, aching the scars on his torso. This only fuels him more. 

He pours the whisky into the metal trash can and flicks a lit match into the bin. Flames woosh into the air, thick smoke melting the falling snow. He looks deeply into the flames, his anger mirrored in the violence of the flames. 

He looks at the Hellfire shirt scrunched in his fist.] 

Eddie: [bitterly] “It’s all your fucking fault. You’ve ruined my life.” [he holds the shirt over the flames, not enough for the shirt to burn] “It’s never going to fucking end.” 

[His lip begins to tremble again. His skin erupts into goosebumps, he becomes aware he is outside in winter in just pyjama trousers and a vest, no shoes on the cold snow.] 

Eddie: [hyperventilating] “I’m so sorry Chrissy.” [he begins to sob] “I’m so fucking sorry.” [he brings the shirt away from the flames and holds it to his face, using it to muffle his sobs and wipe his tears] 

End of flashback - 

Eddie: (uneasy) “After the accident last summer, nothing felt right, everything was too tight and suffocating and- well, it didn’t feel like me anymore. I started to dress more normal for a while.”  Nina: “Eddie Munson, normal? I don’t think you’ve been normal a day in your life.” [Eddie smiles a small smile, shaking his head laughing] “It’s understandable to lose yourself for a while after something traumatic, it happens to all of us.” [she smiles at him reassuringly] “I’m glad you’re wearing it again.”  Eddie: (softly) “Me too.”  Nina:  [realising] “Wait, you’re sharing with me.”  Eddie: “Um, yeah. Is that not okay? I thought it was normal to share this kinda stuff with someone you’re dating.”  Nina: “It is! I- I want to share with you too. If that’s okay?”  Eddie: (proud, soft) “Yeah?”  Nina: “I ran away from home. Kind of. I er-“ [picking her nails anxiously, Eddie takes her hand] “I had to leave, for reasons I won’t get into now, so I packed my bags and left in the middle of the night.”  Eddie: (softly) “I’m sorry.”  Nina: “Don’t say sorry, you’ve done nothing wrong.” [pulling at her hair] “I just had to get out of there, I couldn’t take it anymore.” [sighing] “I’m a coward.”  Eddie: [smiling sadly] “I know a thing or two about running and being a coward.” [he rubs his thumb over Nina’s hand he’s holding comfortingly, which is laid across his chest] “I doubt you were being a coward, you were probably scared.” [looking at the water nearby] “It’s okay to be scared. I’m scared too.”  Nina: (sniffling) “Wow, this got deep very quick.” [smiling sadly] “You know what we need?”  Eddie: [thumb rubbing her shoulder with his free hand] “What’s that?”  Nina: [turning to face him, grinning] “Ice cream.”  ---------------------------------------------------- Nina: “Stop stealing my ice cream, shithead!”  Eddie: [grinning, ice cream over his mouth, talking with his mouth full] “I was just testing it for poison.” [Nina rolls her eyes but can’t help but smile. Eddie extends his ice cream to her face, grinning devilishly] “Here, have some of mine?” [Nina innocently goes to lick the ice cream, Eddie pushes it so it goes on her nose] “Oops!”  Nina: [surprised] “Oh, you little shit!” [Eddie takes off running, cackling, while Nina wipes her nose] “I’m gonna get you, Munson!” 

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Nina: [swinging Eddie’s hand back and forth with hers] “So, what now Batman?”  Eddie: [grinning] “Now to the fun part!” 

[They walk along the riverside to a small wooden stall. The stall has a big sign saying “boat rides” on it. Small rowing boats are stacked upon each other, and the giant pond in front of them is filled with laughter and chatter amongst the fellow rowers. ] 

Eddie: “Tadah!”  Nina: [excitedly] “We’re going on a boat?!”  Eddie: [happy at Nina’s reaction] “We are indeed.”  Nina: “Awesome!”  Eddie: [holding his hand out to help Nina on the boat] “Bow or Stern?”  Nina: “Either is fine by me!” 

[Nina sits on the seat at the end of the little boat, Eddie sits in the middle holding the two oars] 

Eddie: [cheeky] “Where to, m’lady?”  Nina: [glowing with happiness] “Wherever the water takes us, kind sir.”  Eddie: [amused, begins rowing] “I think the saying is ‘wherever the wind takes us.’”  Nina: [smirking] “Don’t be a smartass.” 

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Eddie: [matter of fact] “You could not be more wrong.”  Nina: “What? Chucky is so much better than the Evil Dead!”  Eddie: [offended, cocky] “Chucky is a little asshole doll. Lock him in a cupboard and your problem is solved. A possessed woman with a chainsaw? Can’t lock her in a cupboard, can you?”  Nina: [equally as smug] “Don’t read from the book of the dead and there wouldn't be a possessed woman with a chainsaw, problem solved.”  Eddie: [scoffing] “Where’s the fun in that?”  Nina: [tutting, teasing] “I bet in a horror movie you’d be the dumb blonde who dies first.” 

[Eddie pushes up the sleeves on his shirt; Nina’s eyes linger on Eddie’s toned forearms] 

Eddie: [cocky] “I’ll have you know, I’d be the brave charismatic leader that saves your dumb blonde ass.”  Nina: [scoffing, cheeky] “Not if the thing I need saving from is spiders or deep water.”  Eddie: “I knew I shouldn’t have told you that, it was a big fucking spider in my defence!” [Nina giggles at him, he smiles] Nina: “Hang on, why did you bring me on a boat, on a lake, when you’re scared of water?”  Eddie: (shy) “I know you like water and I thought, well, I need to get over the fear sometime.” [looking away, embarrassed] “Just killing two birds with one stone or whatever.”  Nina: [grinning] “I think that’s really sweet of you, Eddie.” [he blushes] “And brave. I’m having a lovely first date.” 

[Eddie stops rowing and looks at Nina, mouth parted, eyes glassy.] 

Eddie: (small) “You think I’m brave?”  Nina: (oblivious) “I do.”  Eddie: [whispered] “Thank you.” [he looks around at the sky, confused] “When did it start raining?” 

[Nina looks around confused, holding her hands up to feel water drip onto her fingers. She looks ahead, behind Eddie, to see the large water fountain ahead] 

Nina: [rushed] “Oh my god, Eddie, the fountain!”  Eddie: [oblivious] “The what?”  Nina: [panicked] “The fountain, the fountain!” 

[The small boat begins to float towards the large water fountain in the centre of the pond. Eddie looks back at the fountain, then looks back at Nina with wide eyes] 

Eddie: “Oh fucking hell!” [he scrambles to grab the oars to manoeuvre them away from the spraying fountain. They both begin to get soaked from the water, both of them squealing and shivering under the heavy spray] 

Eddie: “Jesus H. Christ!”  Nina: [squealing] “Fuck me, that’s cold!” [loudly] “Eddie, the oars!” 

[the oars begin to drift off the boat and into the water. Nina lunges one way to grab an oar, Eddie the other. The boat rocks under the quick shift in weight.] 

Eddie: "Shit!” [Eddie lunges too far and falls into the water.]  Nina: [worried] “Eddie!” [rushing to his side to reach him] “Are you okay?” 

[Eddie emerges from the water gasping, he takes Nina’s hand and throws himself back onto the boat] 

Eddie: “Jesus, that is cold!” 

Nina: “Are you okay?” [both of them look at each other, completely drenched] 

Eddie: [sheepish] “Never better, babe.” 

---------------------------------------------------

[Nina and Eddie row over to the wooden hut, their time in the boat over, both of them completely soaked. The usher working at the stall raises his eyebrows at them and they smile sheepishly. They leave the boat, giggling into each other, and walk up the bridge back towards Eddie’s van.] 

Nina: [giggling, raking her fingers through her hair as they walk] “So, did that help conquer your fear of deep water then?”  Eddie: [walking oddly, stiff in wet denim] “There’s no deep water left to be scared of, I think I’ve swallowed half of it.” [Nina bursts into laughter, eyes struggling not to leer at the way Eddie’s clothes cling to his toned body.]  Nina: [coy] “Y’know, Eddie…”  Eddie: [oblivious, ringing out his shirt] “Hmm?”  Nina: [whispering in his ear, cheeky] “You’re the first guy who's ever gotten me this wet on a first date before.” 

[Eddie’s eyes go wide and his face immediately goes red. Nina cackles at his reaction and takes off running] 

Nina: “Race you to the car, Eddie!” 

Eddie: [fondly watching Nina skip away, heart beating fast, grinning, talking softly to himself] “Jesus Christ.” 

[Nina is sitting in the passenger seat as Eddie opens the door and gets in. He puts on the heater to warm up the car and dry off their clothes.] 

Nina: “You want the last donut?”  Eddie: “Sure.” 

[Nina leans over the centre console and offers the donut in front of Eddie’s mouth. He takes a bite of the donut, eyes locked on Nina. 

Strawberry jam from the donut lingers on the corner of Eddie’s mouth. Nina wipes it with her thumb and offers it to Eddie, he sucks it off her thumb. Nina’s eyes go wide, transfixed on Eddie’s lips and the suckling of her thumb. Her heart beats faster and she finds herself biting her lip. Eddie watches Nina’s reaction, turned on] 

Nina: [clearing her throat] “We should probably head back and get out of these wet clothes, huh?”  Eddie: [eyes scanning Nina, trying not to linger on her wet body] “Y- yeah we should.”

[Eddie begins to drive. The tension in the air is thick.] 

Nina: (shyly) “Thank you for a great date, Eddie. Even if we are drenched.” [blushing] “I kinda don’t want it to end.”  Eddie: [matter of fact] “It’s not over yet.”  Nina: [hopeful] “It’s not?”  Eddie: [grinning] “Chucky vs Evil Dead at my place.” 

[Nina hums contently. She presses the radio on and “Lay all your love on me” by ABBA plays loudly in the van] 

Nina: “I love this song!”  Eddie: “This song sucks!”  Nina: [exclaiming] “You’re tapping along on the steering wheel!”  Eddie: [embarrassed] “Am not.”  Nina: [enthralled] “You so are!”  Eddie: [stubborn] “I am not.”  Nina: [cheeky] “Hey Eddie?” [Eddie turns to look at her, she begins to sing at him loudly] “Don’t go wasting your emotion!” [Eddie rolls his eyes but smiles] “Lay all your love on me!” [the sentence trails off towards the end, her voice becoming softer. Eddie looks over at her, eyes twinkling with hope]  Nina: “Eddie?”  Eddie: “Yeah?”  Nina: “Pull over.”  Eddie: [worried] “Are you okay? Do you feel sick?”  Nina: [softly] “Just pull over.” 

[Eddie pulls the van to a stop at the side of the road. The road is empty] 

Eddie: [hopeful] “Everything okay?” Nina: “Kiss me.” 

[Eddie’s heart beats faster and he gulps, palms sweaty] 

Eddie: “H-here?”  Nina: “Right here.” 

[Eddie looks at Nina’s eyes searching for doubt. When he finds none, he confidently reaches across the van to kiss Nina; his large hands cupping either side of her face. It takes Nina’s breath away.

Nina shuffles closer, her hands combing through his wet hair. Eddie hums with content as Nina slips her tongue into his mouth, pulling her even closer] 

Eddie: “C’mere.” [Eddie pats his lap. Nina leans over the console, and with help from Eddie, straddles his lap. Before their lips can touch again, Nina pulls back]  Nina: “Wait!” [Eddie looks at her, pouting and confused. She reaches down the side of the seat and slightly reclines Eddie’s chair] “Much better.” [Nina giggles and Eddie looks at her with love in his eyes] 

[Eddie holds Nina firmly by the neck and pulls her down to him, reuniting their lips. As their tongues lick at each other, Eddie uses his large palm to pull Nina closer to him, their wet bodies pressed together, Nina’s weight on him] 

Eddie: [mumbling between kisses] “You really wanna do this here?”  Nina: “Don’t want to wait any longer.” [Eddie moans at her words] “Need you now.” [Eddie melts, moaning again] “Please, Eddie.”  Eddie: [riled up, checking the windows for passers by] “Doesn’t bother you we’re in public?”  Nina: (shyly) “I find it kinda hot, actually.”  Eddie: [resting his head back on the headrest, eyes closed, turned on] “Fuuck.” [Nina’s eyes light up at Eddie’s thick neck, how his Adam’s apple bobs with anticipation, she can’t help but lean down and kiss and nibble at it.]  Nina: [whispered in his ear] “Is it okay that I find it hot?”  Eddie: (hungrily, in bliss with Nina kissing his neck) “I find it hot that you find it hot.” [he brings her face back to his, kissing her heatedly] “Been wanting you all day.” [his hands go under her dress, stroking both thighs, both hips, her ass, her sides of her stomach] “This dress has been driving me crazy.” [he grabs harsh handfuls of her ass] “Take it off.”

[Nina leans back and pulls the dress off over her head. Eddie leans back to take in the sight, hands stroking the goosebumps on her skin.] 

Nina: (embarrassed) “Um…” [she pulls her underwear down her legs too] “They’re wet too…”  Eddie: (grinning, cheeky) “Only if I’m doing my job right.”  Nina: [red with blushing] “You’re on a roll today, perv.” [smirking] “Your turn, Munson.” 

[Eddie eagerly pulls down his trousers, Eddie and Nina having to manoeuvre carefully in the seat to remove his jeans, both of them giggling when they get stuck. With Eddie’s jeans at the footwell of the car, Nina paws at Eddie’s shirt, which he pulls off over his head.

Nina’s lingers trace Eddie’s tattoos and he shivers, wriggling underneath Nina. Nina’s body is once again pressed on top of Eddie’s, her naked cunt against the fabric of his boxers.] 

Eddie: “Oh god.” [Eddie bites his lip, enthralled by the sight of her bare pussy ghosting over his hard cock. His hands linger on her hips, his thumbs rubbing circles on her pelvis, his mouth watering. He softly mutters to himself.} “I can’t believe this is happening.”

[He looks up at Nina with eyes filled with want and adoration and feels his heart race, body igniting with heat and gulps with anticipation. Nina feels the twitch of Eddie’s erection against her core. She lets out a little whimper at the feeling, her clit throbbing.] 

Eddie: [breathless] “Keep making noises like that and I’ll cum right here right now.” [his jaw clenches with restraint]  Nina: (teasing) “Hot.” [she grinds up and down over him once, he begins to pant]  Eddie: [restrained] “‘M serious Nina, wanna make it last this time.” [stroking her sides, eyes closed, gulping] “Want it to be good for you.”  Nina: [spurred on] “You’ve been thinking a lot about the other night?” Eddie: (half joking) “You kidding me? I’ve been hard ever since.” [tucking her hair behind her ear, looking at her lovingly] “Can’t stop thinking about it, about you.”  Nina: [pulling back, Eddie whines]  “Eddie… I’ve got to ask.” [Eddie’s face drops in fear] “Is it me you want or is it just sex? Just so I know where I stand ‘ca-”  Eddie: [interrupting] “You. Definitely you.” [gulping, brave, looking deeply into her eyes] “Wanted you since I set eyes on you.” [brushing the hair out of her face] “Knew I wanted to make you mine.”  Nina: [with wide eyes, voice soft] “I like it when you say things like that.”  Eddie: (curious) “Yeah?”  Nina: “Yeah.” [kissing his neck, whispering in his ear, he shudders] “It gets me hot.” 

[Eddie rests his head on the headrest, eyebrows furrowed and eyes screwed shut, biting his lip with restraint as Nina kisses down the side of his neck, sucking on the column of his throat. Nina begins to grind on Eddie’s lap, causing a low groan to slip through Eddie’s lips] 

Nina: (softly, aroused) “Say it again for me.”  Eddie: [breathless as Nina kisses him] “I’m yours and you’re mine.” [Eddie’s hand weaves into the hair at the back of her neck as she gently bites his ear] “Jesus, Nina.”  Nina: [pulling back with flushed cheeks and rosy lips] “This okay, baby?” 

[Eddie’s eyes flick between Nina’s eyes and lips, and he answers her question by crashing his lips on hers desperately. He holds her tightly by the back of her neck, his free hand wrapping around her back to pull her flush against him.

Eddie’s cock aches desperately as its slapped against his stomach, Nina’s core only inches away from him, occasionally brushing against him, her thighs straddling Eddie’s hips.  Nina hums contently into the kiss, holding his face in her hands as they kiss passionately, Nina’s hips still rocking against Eddie’s.] 

[The windows of the van begin to fill with condensation, the music on the radio playing softly in the background.] 

Eddie: [mumbled into her neck between kisses] “I can’t believe I have you all to myself, I’m so fuckin’ lucky.” [whiny, desperate] “I’m so hard it hurts, babe, can’t contain myself around you.”[Nina moans and grinds harder] “Nina, I- I…”  Nina: “Tell me, Eddie.” Eddie: [kissing Nina’s jaw] “You have no idea how badly I need you.” 

[Nina pulls back, surprised, stopping her movements. Eddie looks at her with cheeks flushed and lips parted, disappointed by the lack of kisses and friction] 

Nina: “Need a hand?” [Eddie looks at her with raised eyebrows and a cheeky smile, Nina blushes, embarrassed] “I mean- I didn’t- not like that, I-“ [Eddie laughs at her pink cheeks] “Well, maybe like that…if you want?” 

[Eddie’s lips part with excitement, arousal evident in his eyes. He kisses her again and Nina takes that as her cue to lean back, palming Eddie over his boxers, squeezing him through the thin fabric. Nina’s heart races at the feel of the thick outline of Eddie’s hard covered cock, and finds herself clenching with anticipation. Eddie groans into the kiss, his grip now tight on Nina’s hips] 

Eddie: “Wait! I-“  Nina: [pulling back, worried] “Are we going too fast? I’m sorry-“  Eddie: [quickly] “No, no! I, er,” [flustered] “I want you to get off instead. Please.”  Nina: (confused) “But… you…”  Eddie: “I know, but I got off last time and I want to see it, I need to see it, please.”  Nina: (teasing) “So polite, we don’t have to take it in turns, y’know.”  Eddie: [grinning] “I know.” [determined] “But I wanna see you get off, I wanna make you feel good.” [holding her by the back of her neck again, looking at her with pleading desperate eyes] “Show me what it’s like, baby, please?”  Nina: (softly) “Y- yeah, okay.”  Eddie: “Like how we did the other night?”  Nina: [smiling softly, fond] “However you want, handsome.” [she has an idea] “Wait, one sec.” [she leans back to rearrange herself and accidentally leans on the car horn, it beeps loudly, she jumps with fright] “Shit!” 

[Eddie looks at her with adoration and amusement before bursting into laughter as Nina clutches her chest with fright.] 

Nina: “Fuckin’ horn scared the shit out of me!”

 [Eddie laughs harder and she scowls at him then she begins to laugh too, and the pair lean into each other in their laughter.

When the laughter subsides they rest their foreheads together, giggling softly, and then lightly kiss each other. 

After kissing for a few minutes, Nina moves again, her thighs now straddling Eddie’s thick right thigh.] 

Nina: “Is this okay?”  Eddie: [aroused] “Ye-yeah, it’s good.” [Eddie can feel the warmth of Nina’s cunt on his bare leg, it makes his cock twitch, he gulps. He strokes Nina’s thighs, horny, eager] “You can get off like this?”  Nina: (smoothly) “With you underneath me, like this? Definitely.” [Nina giggles as Eddie’s moans softly at her words. Eddie’s hands return to her hips, eager to begin]  Eddie: “Smooth.”  [smirking] “Ride away then, cowgirl.”  Nina: (cheeky) “And you call me the smooth one.” [she wraps her arms around Eddie’s neck, pulling their bodies closer, kissing each other firmly.]  Eddie: [mesmerised, running his thumb between her cleavage and down her sternum] “You’re the smooth one here,” [to himself] “So soft.” [he brings his thumb to Nina’s lips, rubbing it across her parted lips] “So beautiful.” 

[Nina takes Eddie’s hand cautiously in hers and pulls his thumb towards her mouth; slipping it past her lips and sucks on it gently as she begins to move back and forth on Eddie’s thigh] 

Eddie: [groaning] “Oh, fuck.”  [can’t take his eyes of her, practically panting] “You’re gonna kill me.”  

[Nina giggles as she removes thumb, kissing down the side of his hand, releasing it and begins kissing Eddie’s neck, her breasts pressed against his chest.

Eddie’s eyes close in bliss. I’ve died and gone to heaven, he thinks. Nina’s sits on his thigh and rocks herself back and forth as she kisses Eddie’s neck; feeling his racing pulse under her lips.] 

Nina: [panting, clutching at Eddie’s neck] “Feels good, Eddie.” [a harder grind down pushes Nina’s underwear against her throbbing clit, causing her to softly whine] “Really good.”  Eddie: [mumbled into her hair and shoulder, inhaling her deeply, guiding her hips] “Keep going, baby.”  Nina: [her head hangs back, hair trailing down her back as she moans, squirming against Eddie’s thigh] “Oh god.” [her hands roam across his shoulders and chest; she bites her lip] “You’ve got such a nice body, honey.” [rubbing his chest, eyes filled with lust as her hand trails down his torso]  Eddie: [in awe, flushed, achingly hard] “You think so?”  Nina: [dreamily, breathless] “I know so.” [her hand goes to his face, stroking his cheek, staring deeply into his eyes] “So handsome.” [chewing her lip, eyes closing, Eddie’s relishes in her expression] “Like having you under me.” [Eddie moans and grips her hips tighter, pushing and pulling her against his thigh, her chest heaves with her exertion.] 

[Nina’s hand reaches to the roof of Eddie’s van, searching for something to dig her nails into, pleasure coursing through her. Eddie kisses and bites at her neck and her soft moans become louder and more frequent, her grinding harder.] 

Eddie: [mesmerised, hands on Nina’s hips to guide her movements] “You’re so wet Nina, can feel it on my leg. You like riding my thigh, princess?”   Nina: “I do, Eddie, fuck!”  Eddie: “So perfect, such a good girl.”  Nina: [with wide eyes, aroused, moaning] “Say that again, Eddie.”  Eddie: [darkly, half lidded, panting] “You like me calling you a good girl?” [Nina whimpers in response, pressing herself down harder on Eddie’s thigh]  Nina: [pleading] “Please, baby.”  Eddie: [relishing seeing Nina’s reactions, confident, in awe] “Come on Nina, cum on my thigh like the good girl you are.”  Nina: [resting her head on Eddie’s shoulder, desperate] “Jesus, Eddie!” 

[Eddie’s head lulls on the headrest, eyes closed, breathing deeply as he tries to contain himself when Nina pants and whimpers in his ear; her breath tingling his damp skin. He wraps his arms around Nina’s back, pulling her tight to him to stabilise her, biting and kissing her neck as she grinds on him, determined to push Nina over the edge.] 

Nina: [moaning] “Jesus, Eddie, fuck!”  [she holds onto the car grab handle tightly, using it to stabilise herself as she grinds down harder on Eddie’s thigh] “I’m so close, oh god.” 

[He jumps to action and pulls Nina away from him to her surprise, yanking down the bra she wore to expose her breasts, confidently taking one in his hand and the other in his mouth. As Nina leans back in surprise, her hand catches the volume dial on the radio; the volume goes from quiet to loud, ‘I was made for loving you’ by KISS plays loudly in the car. Nina lets out a loud moan at Eddie sucking on her chest and her movements become harder and deeper, that tingly feeling in her insides becoming stronger] 

Nina: “Eddie, ‘m close, oh my god I wanna cum so bad, please baby, oh god!”  Eddie: [mumbles into her breasts, he gently bites and pulls at her nipple, her eyes roll back] “Love hearing you beg for me, sweetheart.”  Nina: [at breaking point] “Eddie!”  Eddie: [licking, kissing, biting her chest and neck, panting, wild, untamed, gripping her ass hard to force her movements when she begins to tire] “Say my name when you cum for me, lemme hear it, wanna hear it so badly.”  Nina: [head flung back, desperate, so close] “Fuck, Eddie!”  Eddie: [determined, heart racing] “That’s it baby, c’mon, say it.”  Nina: [gripping the hand rail tightly with one hand, the other clawing at Eddie, her thighs begin to shake] “Eddie, I’m coming, I’m coming, oh god!”  Eddie: [looking up at her as he kisses her chest, in awe] “Good girl, baby.” 

[That tips Nina over the edge] 

Nina: “Oh fuck, Eddie!” [her trembling thighs clamp down hard over Eddie’s, her body shaking with her orgasm, Eddie watches lustfully, in delight, trained on her every move. Her body blossoms as she orgasms, her shoulders pushed back, her chest pushed out towards Eddie, her head flung back in pleasure.] 

Eddie: [softly groaning] “Fuck.” [he relishes in watching Nina tremble above him, his own orgasm catching him by surprise as his stomach tenses, thighs twitch and balls heave as he cums in his boxers, his throbbing cock aching and twitching in his boxers] “Oh fuck, Jesus.” 

Nina: (dazed) “Did you just…” 

Eddie: [breathless] “Yeah, I did.” 

---------------------------------------------------

[Eddie is finishing up in the bathroom. He spits out toothpaste into the sink, humming along to “I was made for loving you” by KISS, stuck replaying on his head since the van. He can hear Nina laughing in the living room. 

His eyebrows furrow with confusion as he hears Nina talking, along with another voice. He walks out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist.] 

Wayne: “…And then he fell face first into the puddle of mud! It took his mother hours to get the mud out of his hair!” [looking up to see Eddie] “Oh hey, Eddie!”  Nina: [shyly, blushing at Eddie in just a towel, despite seeing him semi-naked before] “Hey, Eddie.”  Eddie: [surprised] “W-What are you doing here, Wayne?”  Wayne: [grinning, knowing] “I got an early finish at the plant. We just ordered Chinese. Our regular place was closed so we had to order from somewhere else.” Eddie: [suspicious at Wayne] “You got me the usual?”  Wayne: “Chow Mein with extra fried rice and-“  Wayne and Nina at the same time: “Duck pancakes.”  Nina: (smiling softly) “We know.” 

[Eddie looks at them fondly, heart warmed.] 

Eddie: “I’ll be right back.” 

[Eddie gets changed into his pyjamas, smiling to himself as he hears laughter from Wayne and Nina in the living room. He joins them shortly after, plonking himself on the couch beside Nina, pulling her into him, her legs bent over his long legs.] 

Wayne: “What are we watching then, kids?”  Nina: “Evil Dead, then Chucky!”  Wayne: [tutting, shaking his head] “The tripe you kids watch nowadays, sheesh.”  ----------------------------------------------------

Wayne: [with a mouth full of noodles, pointing at the television with his chopsticks, frowning] “Surely if they didn’t read from the scary book, none of this would have happened.”  Nina: [vindicated, excited] “Thank you!” 

[Eddie rolls his eyes but can’t hide the smile on his face] 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nina: [knocking on the door, worried] “Eddie? You okay in there?” [Eddie groans behind the door] “Can I come in?” [Eddie thumps the door closed, before vomiting again in the toilet] “I’ve brought you some pain killers and water.” 

[She hears shuffling on the floor and the door opens ajar.] 

Nina: [concerned] “How’re you feeling?”  Eddie: [pale, sweaty, clinging to the toilet bowl] “I don’t think dodgy Chinese and lake water mix.” 

[Nina stifles a giggle and sets down the glass beside him, handing him the pain killers] 

Nina: (teasing) “Pretty sure you’re just chickenshit scared of the Evil Dead, that’s all.” 

[Eddie laughs then groans, holding his stomach] 

Eddie: “Don’t make me laugh, it hurts.” [embarrassed, can’t look Nina in the eye] “You don’t have to stay, it’s okay.”  Nina: (softly) “Who else is going to hold your hair back?” [pushing the glass of water near him] “Drink.” [he gulps at the water greedily] “Sip, honey, sip. You’ll hurt your stomach more.” [he begins to sip slowly, putting the glass down and gasping for air] “Better?”  Eddie: “A bit.” [he watches as Nina runs a cloth under cold water and sits beside him. He looks at her with doe eyes, feeling ashamed. He looks down, embarrassed, speaking self deprecatingly] “Was our first date everything you expected then?”  Nina: [snorting] “It was the best.” [She wipes the cold cloth over Eddie’s face and rests it on his forehead, he sighs happily] “One of the most eventful first dates I’ve had.” [Eddie snorts bitterly, looking down] “I had a lot of fun though.”  Eddie: (unsure, hopeful) “Yeah?”  Nina: (fondly) “Yeah.” [wiping his brow, pushing his fringe back, Eddie avoids her eyes] “You know how to show a girl a good time.”  Eddie: [chuckling softly, eyes fluttering] “I do try.”  Nina: (softer still) “You don’t even have to try.” [Eddie looks up, eyes glistening hopefully] “I had a great time, Eddie. Lake water, dodgy Chinese and all.” [she presses a kiss on his forehead, he smiles peacefully] “Ready for bed?” 

[Eddie begins to move off the floor but groans] 

Eddie: “Not yet, the floor is nice and cold and my stomach still hurts.”  Nina: [patting her lap] “Come here then.” 

[Eddie lies down with his head in her lap, body curled into the foetus position on the floor. Nina gently presses the cold cloth against him as he sighs with content.] 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wayne: “Night kids.” [he walks past the bathroom to find the light still on.] “Kids?”  [Pushing the door open a crack, he sees Eddie asleep on the floor, head on Nina’s lap, Nina asleep against the cold tile wall of the bathroom. Wayne shakes his head, amused, talking to himself] “Well, Eddie, I approve.” [he turns off the bathroom light] “Goodnight.” 

A/N: So sorry this chapter took so long to come out! I'm genuinely sick of the sight of it now, it took so long to write and so long to edit! Hopefully chapter 12 will be easier!

Thank you for reading! Reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated :)

Comment to be added to taglist :)

Next Chapter : Chapter Twelve - Heavy

[secular-jew]

Saturday morning, the sabbath. Arabs began the massacre of Jews. No, not Saturday October 7, 2024, but rather Saturday, August 24, 1929, and the location was Hebron, the center of Jewish life in Judea for 3500 years, and the home of the Tomb of the Patriarchs.

"A massacre of unarmed Jews is under way. Homes have been ransacked and their inhabitants tortured, raped and slaughtered."

This is the 95th anniversary of the Hebron Massacre. On the Shabbat morning of Aug 23, 1929, Arab residents of Hebron armed themselves with axes, knives, and staves, and initiated a massacre of Jews which resulted in the deaths of 67 Jewish men, women and children. Seven of the victims were American or Canadian students who were in Hebron studying Judaism.

Massacre survivor Aharon Reuven Bernzweig stated, "right after eight o'clock in the morning we heard screams. Arabs had begun breaking into Jewish homes. The screams pierced the heart of the heavens. We didn't know what to do…. They were going from door to door, slaughtering everyone who was inside. The screams and the moans were terrible. People were crying Help! Help! But what could we do?"

The New York Times headline declared, "Victims Killed Like Sheep." The Baltimore News headline stated, "Arab Horde Slaughtered Little Children During Mass Orgy in City."

In 1929 Arabs didn't call themselves "Palestinian people" yet. The State of Israel didn't exist yet. What was the reason for brutal hateful massacre, torture, corrupting the bodies, ethnically cleansing the entire ancient Jewish community?

Exactly as now, they lied that Al-Aqsa mosque is in danger.

Exactly as now, the real reason was Nazi ideology of annihilation.

Exactly as now, the world expected Jews to appease the violent brutal murderers. Then in 1929, British authorities responded to the massacres by evacuating the entire Jewish community from Hebron.

The difference between then and now is that Jews have a country and an army now, and we can defend ourselves.

But we didn't learn yet how to teach the world to LEARN HISTORY. Not TikTok, but real history.

Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.

[salixsociety]

The Problem of the 'Witch's Sabbat'

Why we should stop calling our non-jewish holidays 'Sabbats': a (hopefully) definitive guide.

It is the year of our Gods 2024, and to this day I still enter communities and see the word 'sabbat' as one of the first. It is common practice to refer to any holiday, but especially those as featured in the Wheel of the Year, as sabbat(h)s, and frankly, I am sick of it. So I hope that I can use this post to convince some people on why it is time to remove that word from our vocabulary.

Where Does the Word 'Sabbat' Come From?

The very root of this word is the Hebrew ש־ב־ת (sh-b-t). It is the root word for many words pertaining to rest and not working (or more broadly: 'cessation'). This word evolved into שַׁבָּת (shabát), which translates to Saturday or weekly rest-day, normally. This word, also often spelled Shabbos from Ashkenazi Hebrew, travelled through various antique languages (Ancient Greek -> Latin -> Old French) directly to Middle English, where it became 'Sabat', and later Sabbath. While this word, in its travel through Europe, has influenced some words, you'll notice that it has also stayed one unique word, with a unique meaning: the Jewish Rest Day. The Sabbath, Shabbos, Sabbat, Shabat, et cetera, will always and has for most of its history been the word uniquely reserved for Saturday in Judaism. To those not very well read on Judaism, it may be helpful to know that Judaism is what is considered a closed practice. It is only permissible to practice Jewish religious tradition, and to a large extent, Jewish culture, if you are a Jewish convert. By extension, that should clue you in on the nature of the word and holiday of Shabbat.

Further reading on this topic: Etymology, Jewish Sabbath.

When Did it Become Relevant to Witches?

The first time the words 'sabbat(h)' and 'witch' were uttered in the same breath would likely be around the late Medieval period. The reason why this is, is something not nearly enough people are familiar with: the incredibly deep link between antisemitism and witch-hunting. Before the early Church turned its hateful eye to the concept of 'witches,' it was firmly on Jews. Jews, alongside other heretics and oppressed minorities like the Rroma, were considered utterly worthy of damnation. They were seen as antagonistic to the Church, going against everything the Church stood for, and furthermore as misanthropic, greedy, unreliable enemies. They were the scapegoats for many disasters and indeed frequently accused of practicing magic or poisoncrafting to invoke these disasters on the 'Good Christian Folk'. Furthermore, and this may sound familiar to you, jews were accused of 'consorting with the devil' and murdering children in order to consume their blood to mock the Eucharist, often referred to as blood libel. It was often claimed that this (nonexistent!) practice was done on the Shabbat, alongside other practices twisting and mocking those done in Church on Sunday. The persecution of Jews in Medieval Europe was horrific and seemingly endless, having origins in antiquity and reaching a peak during the Crusades, and another when the Plague ran rampant. Jews were banished, forced to convert to Christianity or brutally murdered, not infrequently by burning or strangulation.

What all of this is meant to illustrate is that the witch stereotype, or the wish to persecute witches in the early modern period, didn't come out of nowhere. There is a reason that caricatures and cartoons of witches feature a short and stocky body, a big and 'ugly' nose, green skin, red or dark hair, buckled shoes, and a conical hat (which before it became associated with witches, was often called a judenhut or jew hat). The roots of the witch stereotype in antisemitic caricatures and stereotypes are well-recorded and easy to see. And, indeed, the crimes most witches were accused of and burned for, directly mirrored the crimes jews were accused of before them. Consuming 'pure' Christian blood, mocking the Eucharist, fornicating with the devil, and all of this at the 'witch's sabbat', a made up gathering that witches would supposedly fly to on their broomsticks.

The idea that witches existed and the wish to eradicate them didn't purely come from antisemitism, of course. Misogyny, xenophobia, religious idealism from the Church, and other factors played incredibly large roles. But let us remain forever aware that the people burned were not in fact people flying on brooms, having sex with the devil and drinking the blood of Christian children. They were jews, they were Romani, they were people of color, they were women accused of stealing milk, they were victims.

So, the word 'sabbat(h)' wasn't just appropriated because somebody else wanted it or didn't understand it, like in many other cases of (mis)appropriation. It was appropriated explicitly to harm and eradicate several already fragile and oppressed, and in the case of Judaism, culturally exclusionary, communities.

The Role of Western Esotericism and Wicca

One could have expected the concept of the witches' sabbath to die out alongside the trials, but there is a secondary evil in this story, and it is Wicca.

In the late 19th century, English anthropologist and folklorist Margaret Alice Murray, one of the few women in her field, was halted in her research about Egypt, and was forced to find a new field of interest. She developed a hypothesis, based in mostly fantasy, that certain 'witch-cults' had survived the "Burning Times" in Europe. They were, according to her, secret societies upholding prehistoric fertility cults. Though most of her work was based in fantasy and speculation, her theory had one passionate follower: Gerald Gardner. But we will get back to him in a moment, because there is someone else pivotal to Gerald Gardner's beliefs: Aleister Crowley. Crowley is perhaps one of the most famous sexual predators, racists, antisemites, and cultural appropriators in the history of western magic. But, he was 'intelligent', well-travelled, privileged, and obsessed with occultism. He joined the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn when Gardner was already there. Both during his time in the Hermetic Order and after, he studied many religious traditions across the continents and wildly appropriated from all of them, most notably for this story, from Kabbalah (Jewish Mysticism). I will not go in depth about him, but he, and his fixation on Kabbalah, were extremely important to Gardner's views. Gardner, amateur anthropologist (with two fake PhDs!) and former devout Christian, used the works of Margaret Murray and Aleister Crowley to justify his claim that an old witch named Dorothy Clutterbuck had initiated him into one of these prehistoric fertility cults, one that survived the witch hunts. This is where Wicca started, and that makes the formation of Wicca entirely impossible to separate from antisemitism - and that is reflected by their language and rituals. From appropriation directly from Kabbalah, a closed practice, to calling their (mis)appropriated holidays 'sabbats', the origins of Wicca and their views on the trials are abundantly clear.

The Harm

I think we are now at the point in this blog where I should no longer have to explain that taking the word 'Sabbath' (or any other spelling of it) outside of its cultural and religious context, and applying it to practitioners of magic, is outrageously antisemitic. It is the propagation and preservation of notions and habits that got thousands of people, jews and not, brutally murdered, displaced, and forcefully converted, and it continues to conflate jews and witches - something that we've had to agree is antisemitic quite a few times, after quite a few genocides.

Another major evil in calling pagan/witchy holidays 'sabbats' is that it misconstrues what the witch trials actually were - it was the persecution of heretics. Witches are heretics, heretics are non-christian, jews are non-christian, therefore jews are heretics, therefore jews must be witches! In both the Old and the New World it was always the different, the other, the unfamiliar that were murdered. Again: people of color, Romani, jews, muslims, scary and ugly women, thieves, disliked women, the disabled, the mentally ill. It was not, and it will never be, privileged white women. In fact, it was generally them assisting in the eradication! I mean this with quite some distaste: if you are one of those people that says 'we are the daughters of the witches you couldn't burn', I know what you are. You are either uneducated or hateful, and I hope you fix that sooner rather than later.

Something else rather distasteful to me is how casually people are willing to dismiss the arguments against the use of 'sabbat' by the pagan/witch community. Antisemitism is not considered as serious, as severe, as relevant, as important, as worth considering. Not as much as other issues. I have had days-long arguments with people providing source on source on source and been met with: "I just don't see the harm." And I hear what you are truly saying. What you are truly saying is: "it's only antisemitism." When it is the appropriation of white sage, when it is the appropriation of Papa Legba, when it is the appropriation of something you don't want all that much, you are willing to stand up. But when it is antisemitism, when it is a word you've used for years, when it seems small and like it would be more convenient to just keep it, you are willing to stand by. And that is performative activism, and that is perpetuating the casual willingness to appropriate from Judaism. And it will be the reason that you and the people in your circle will also feel confident casually appropriating from other cultures.

Intersectionality

Despite the fact that the antisemitic nature of this usage should be enough, there is so much more harm to be done. After all, as was mentioned, it wasn't just jews that died. It was everybody who was not a white, wealthy, able-bodied, heteronormative, Christian man. It was women, so many women. It was schizophrenics. It was slaves, freed and not. It was natives. It was everybody who was different. When you stand by when people call their holidays 'sabbats', you are not just saying yes to antisemitism. You are saying yes to racism. You are saying yes to homophobia. You are saying yes to indigenous hate. You are saying yes to misogyny. You are saying yes to ableism. You are saying yes to ageism. You are saying yes to xenophobia. You are saying yes to hate.

After all, even when it starts with one group being persecuted, the persecution will go on after the extinction of the first group. And when the persecution finally reaches your group, and you have let every other group before you gone extinct, there will be nobody but you to fight for you.

Further Reading

OTHER BLOGS: The Witch Hunts & Antisemitism: An Often Overlooked History Why I Don't Call Them Sabbats, Why You Should Stop, and Other Thoughts on Problematic Aspects of Western Witchcraft The Antisemitic History of Witches Jews and the Witchcraze Can You Be a Jew and a Witch? Why Do Witches Wear Pointy Hats?

BOOKS and PAPERS: The Saturnine History of Jews and Witches - Yvonne Owens Heal the Witch Wound - Celeste Larsen “Persecution Perpetuated: The Medieval Origins of Anti-Semitic Violence in Nazi Germany,” The Quarterly Journal of Economics 127, iss. 3 (2012) - Nico Voigtländer and Hans-Joachim Voth "The Malleus Maleficarum of Heinrich Kramer and James Sprenger, translated with Introduction, Bibliography, and Notes by Montague Summers Do What Thou Wilt - Lawrence Sutin Witchcraze - Dr. Anne L. Barstow Imagining the Witch: A Comparison between Fifteenth-Century Witches within Medieval Christian Thought and the Persecution of Jews and Heretics in the Middle Ages Male witches in early modern Europe - Lara Apps, Andrew Gow

[for-a-longlongtime]

On Dieter, Goya's Black Paintings, and Pedro on Talk Art 

Alright y'all, it's Saturday evening, I have nothing better to do (I actually do but I don't feel like it), so welcome to my mini TED Talk about 'how to pay too much fucking attention to the Pedro cinematic universe'. None of this is new, and maybe everybody already knew about this, but I didn't... so here's a nerdy tangent courtesy of googling/wikipedia-ing.

I was reading a Dieter!fic (this one right here by @chaoticgeminate - go read her writing!) earlier today, which refers to the 'Saturn Devouring His Son' painting - that giant mural Dieter is working on in The Bubble:

(his brush isn't even touching the wall tho, ha)

The original 'Saturn' by Goya

The fic mentioned its part of 'The Black Paintings', so I got curious and started googling. I'm no art major or expert, so please allow me to just paraphraze the Wikipedia page. 'Saturn' is part of a group of 14 Goya paintings that are called Pinturas Negras/The Black Paintings. They "portray intense, haunting themes, reflective of both his fear of insanity and his bleak outlook on humanity" --this was late in Goya's life, and was connected to several illnesses he had experienced (and the fear of relapsing) and political turmoil in Spain at the time (post-Napolean war, changing Spanish government, etc.

Trivia fact 1: Goya actually made these paintings right on the walls of the Quinta del Sordo (so-called Deaf Man's villa) where he was staying -- so I love that Apatow had Dieter also paint right on the walls.

Trivia fact 2: while Goya was living in this villa, he actually became gravely ill (again) - not by a pandemic obviously, but it's hard to not link that loosely to the COVID period. He had never intended for these 'Black Paintings' to become public; "these paintings are as close to being hermetically private as any that have ever been produced in the history of Western art" (the murals were eventually transfered to canvas by other folks once he had moved out of the villa). Switching back to The Bubble -- I love how the tragic influence of Goya's illness(es) and art/things 'made at home away from the world, not intended for an audience' (so obviously, in a bubble) has that connection to the COVID experience and how many folks were suddenly homebound, along with the burden of illness in many ways (lord knows this all did a serious number on our mental health). In the movie, Dieter and the others do not want to go into isolation again, but that solitude is what eventually led him to painting on the walls in his room. This is not a 'grand discovery' of any kind, but I got a kick out of the parellels once I read up on it - and honestly makes me appreciate the movie a bit more, haha.

Not happy about another quarantine period.

Alright, more hyperfocusing after the cut:

Some googling led me to a post from last year by @nicolethered (gifs in this post are hers), and she included screencaps of the walls of Dieter's room (during that drug scene), which I hadn't even noticed while watching the movie. Upon taking a closer look, I noticed they're outtakes from other pieces of Goya's Black Paintings! I thought that was really cool, they sure worked on the details with that set (there's one more that's shown in a different shot but I can't exactly figure out which outtake that is):

First one is a mirror image from Two Old Men Eating Soup and the second one is basically Satan aka 'The Great He-Goat' from the Witches' Sabbath painting. Which IMO makes for fucking hilarious perfection a.k.a. trivia fact 3 -- because we all know about Dieter and his little emotional support goat, LOL. Excellent connection.

*insert sound bit from Hot Ones interview* : "Just let me love you!"

Anywaaay there's more. The Bubble was shot during Feb 22, 2021 to April 16, 2021, right? Pedro has spoken about how his input in shaping Dieter was mostly regarding his outfits (the Crocs, the robe, etc). But then I suddenly remember the Talk Art interview he had done in 2018, and how he namechecks 'The Dog' by Goya - and lo, guess which painting is actually part of the 14 Black Paintings? Yeap - the dog! So I checked the podcast and he was asked, 'if you could be any painting, what painting would you be?' by Russell. Here is the painting, and below it is what he said on Talk Art:

'The Drowning Dog' by Goya

"I think… it's a Goya. Yeah, old school. I think it's called 'Dog Buried in Sand' or something like that. It's so… I remember feeling it was such a visual representation of helplessness, in such a… come on, let's all admit that helplessness is a very recurring feeling for many of us, you know what I mean? When it comes to so many things. I guess… I was in Spain, in Madrid, and I was 20. And I went to the Goya museum. What's interesting about it is that the head of the dog is really quite small and sort of adorable, it looks like a stray mutt, and the painting - if I can remember it correctly - is very rectangular. There's so much above him, like the world just seems so big. It's quite incredible, isn't it? I know it's really sad, and sort of dark, and maybe I really like enjoy perceiving myself like..." (He gets interrupted by Russell, and then continues;) "Yeah, he's certainly not dying, it's sort of - it's a moment", (then interrupts himself with;) "Maybe he's totally dying, there's no way that dog is getting out of that. That dog is SO fucked. Anyway, that's the painting that represents my life". (All three of them burst out into laughing.)

If you're still reading this - I am impressed with your dedication to my silly little post, haha. Anyway, I just thought it was so striking that there basically is a straight line from the painting he mentioned in Talk Art to what Dieter is painting in the Bubble. Makes me wonder if perhaps he - or even Russell/Robert - had any input in that part of Dieter's backstory.

Thank you for attending my TED Talk on artistic analysis of Dieter Bravo during COVID, we now resume your regularly scheduled program for Saturday night. 🤪

(Have I been smoking because a local dispensary actually had 'Mando' bud? I sure as fuck have and I blame that for this post.)

[religious-extremist]

The Orthodox Church has Liturgy every day! There’s only one day in the entire liturgical calendar of the Orthodox Church that the Divine Liturgy is not celebrated and that is Holy Saturday, the day before Pascha (called Easter in the West).

The festal nature of the Divine Liturgy is not considered appropriate for Great Lent weekdays so instead of the Divine Liturgy, the faithful commune without the service of the consecration performed, through the Liturgy of Pre-Sanctified Gifts. It is not shorter than the regular Divine Liturgy, but different prayers are read and we commune of the mysteries which have been consecrated during the previous Sabbath and/or Lord’s Day.

[roadkillremi]

Love Sucks Part 2

Randy Meeks X F!Gothic!Reader

MasterList

Warning : Language, mentions insomnia, Randy's a bit of a pervert, Spoilers to the movie Childs Play, Mentions Sex, Under-Aged Drinking, Mentions of Sunburn.

Summary : When a New Girl moves to Woodsboro Randy falls Head over heels for her. Despite her weird interests and odd habits the friend group accepts her.

Randy walked in to the halls searching for you. He couldn't find you in the morning and was determined to find you before lunch. He scanned the lockers to find you. And there you were in black baggy pants and a tight band t-shirt. Sadly there was Billy leaning next to your locker. He smiled yours was by his, Randy walked up to you, "Hey, Y/N.".

"Hey Randy! Billy was just telling me about this Saturday. I told him we're watching Childs Play!" Billy gave a small smile when you looked at him.

"Cool. Mind moving from my locker, Loomis?-". Billy rolled his eyes and moved away from the locker.

"what were you saying before we were interrupted..' Billy said shooting Randy a look. You put a notebook in your bookbag, "That Killer Clowns From Outer space is underrated.".

"No way! The Effects sucked ass!" Randy interrupted.

"So?! It was unique! And hilarious! Without it IT wouldn't be what it is!" You said smiling at Randy.

"I mean the Exorcist had better effects." He added. Sidney ran up to Billy grabbing his hand.

"What are you guys talking about?" She asked smiling.

"Scary movies." You and Randy spoke in unison. She shook her head, "They're not that good.".

"Yeah Yeah." Randy mumbled closing his locker. You smiled at him, "They just don't get it.". Randy smiled back, "Nope.".

"Sup Nerds!" Stu raffled Randy and your hair. You grained fixing your hair, Stu was a bit too welcoming. Randy rolled his eyes, "They were just talking about movies." Sidney said.

"Come on! Y/N there has to be something else you like!" Tatum complained. She looped her arm around yours walking towards the fountain. Randy followed along with the group.

"What do you mean?" You asked looking at her.

"Like music! What music do you like?!"

"Oh, the cure, Korn, Black Sabbath, Aerosmiths cool.." you gave a soft smile.

"No Madonna?" Tatum raided an eyebrow.

"No.. sorry."

"Whoa! There's nothing wrong with rock!" Stu said grabbing Tatum's waist from behind. You backed away from Stu and Tatum's mess of affection.

"Are they always like that?" You whispered to Randy.

"Yeah, one time I accidentally walked in on them having sex..." Randy said in disgust. You cringed your face, "Ew.". You went to sit in the same spot as yesterday. Randy sat by you and ate his sandwich.

"So, Y/N what are you wearing Saturday?" Tatum asked while Stu devoured her neck with kisses. You glanced down at Stu and back up at her.

"Not sure. What's the dress code?" You asked.

"To dress cute!" Tatum leaned in close to your ear, "Besides I think someone likes you" darting her eyes to Randy. His face went pink when you looked over at him.

"Tate! Stop playing the match maker!" Sidney said laughing. Tatum smiled, "Fine." .

"You guys hear about that guy that went missing last night?" Billy spoke up.

"No." Tatum said taking a bite of her chip.

"He was missing from work and wasn't at home and they found his body devoured." Billy said.

"Must've been a bear.." you said.

"I don't know haven't seen a bear in a while!" Stu said.

"You've never seen a bear." Randy blurted. Stu shot his head over, "Shut it, Fuckface!". Randy rolled his eyes, you looked over at Randy.

"Does he always call you that?" You asked lowly. Randy shrugged, "It's normal.". You looked over at Stu, "Hey don't do that.". Stu looked up at you.

"Are you protecting him?" He laughed. You rolled your eyes, "Just don't you look idiotic. Grow up.". Stu blinked, he didn't know what to say. Randy smiled to himself, "Why aren't you eating anything?' Tatum asked.

"Stomach ache. I'll be fine though." You smiled. Randy reached in his bag for an unopened water bottle.

"Here." He handed it to you with a small smile. You took it, "Thanks.".

"Awh, Stu why don't you do stuff like that for me?" Tatum whined. Stu kissed her cheek, "Because I fuck you instead.".

"Come on! Really?!" Randy whined. Stu laughed, you cringed your face yet again. Tatum huffed, "Y/N when do you get off work tonight?".

"At.." you looked at Randy for assistance. He looked up mid sandwich bite, "Nine." He said.

"Nine." You repeated looking at Tatum. She smiled, "Good, Call me when you get back!". You nodded, Randy's heart dropped that means you wouldn't call him. You looked over at Randy, "You alright?". He nodded, "Yeah just tired.". You gave him a sympathetic smile that made his heart flutter.

"Take a nap. I'll wake you up when the bell rings"

Randys eyes widened, his face even pinker.

"I.." he tried to find words for what he was thinking. You gently patted your thigh, "You can use me as a pillow if you'd like.." you whispered. Randy nodded dropping down instantly, his head resting on your thigh. His eyes were shaded by the hat you wore. The side conversations seemed to stop as everyone looked at Randy resting his head on the goth girls lap.

"How the hell..." Stu mutter. Tatum smacked his arm, "Shut up I finally found him someone!". You gave Tatum a look, "I'm just being nice.".

"Well I'm tired too..." Stu faked yawn, Tatum hit him again. Your hand went down to gently mess with Randy's hair. He kept his eyes closed scared to open them. He focused on your hand going through his hair. Dozing off pretty quickly due to the wave of comfort.

Randy watched you restock the movies while he dealt with customers. He looked even closer when you bent down to grab something. His Adam apple would bob up and down from him swallowing.

"Excuse me?!" A teenage girl fussed.

"What?" Randy dead panning over to her. She scoffed, "The movie didn't work.". She handed him the tape, "Well We're you Clueless on how to fix the tape?-". He said referencing the movie, she just stared at him. He sighed grabbing a pencil to fix the tape.

"There." He gave it back.

"Randy, I restocked all the tapes." You smiled. Randy looked over at you, "I also found this!" You slide Childs Play across the counter. Randy took and smiled, "I'll check it out for you.".

"Good. Because you're gonna learn to love it." You walked away from the counter to help a customer. Randy slid it into his bag for tomorrow night. He smiled to himself due to his luck lately.

Randy rang Stus doorbell nervously messing with his jacket. Stu answered the door, "Finally! Took you long enough. Randal's here!" Stu shouted. Randy walked in making his way to the living room. You heard your laugh from the living room. His heart rate sped up as he walked in. Tatum sat beside you telling a joke as you laughed. You looked over at Randy, "Randy! Did you bring the movie?!". He held up Childs play with a small smile.

"Awesome! Imma go get a beer wanna come?" You tapped Tatum's arm. She nodded, "Get me one, please." Billy grabbed your arm stopping you. You nodded, walking away with Tatum. Randy sat on the couch putting the tape on the coffee table.

"How was work, Randy?" Sidney asked. He glanced over, "It was fine, just the normal dumbasses telling me how Forest Gump is a comedy.". Sidney shook her head with a smile. You walked back laughing with Tatum. You placed beer bottles on the table taking one. You sat by Randy opening the bottle.

"Can we watch the movie?" You ask looking over at Stu. He huffed, "Come on let's play a game or something!".

"What are you five?" Billy said glaring at him. Stu huffed again, "Just trying to be a good host."

"you're a great host, Stu. But imma put the movie in." You smiled getting up putting the tape in. You went back to sit by Randy, "Get ready for your mind to be blown.". He looked over at you, "Uh-huh, sure.".

"STOP TALKING IN THE FRONT!" Stu fussed. Tatum hit his arm, "Seriously Stu?". He smiled, "My bad.".

Your arm rested on the back of the couch causing your body to be turned towards Randy. He glanced over at you, "What?" You whispered. He shook his head, "Just questioning the plot.". You rolled your eyes, "It's smart. He doesn't more much in the beginning because he's slowly becoming more human.". Randy nodded watching the movie, during the killing scene you didn't jump like he hoped. You sat still watching the movie, he looked back at you. You glanced at him, "Yes?" You asked with a smile.

"Ooo" Stu cooed, Randy glared at him. You turned around, "What?" You asked clueless.

"Honey, he likes you." Tatum whispered loudly. Your face went red and you looked at Randy. His face was also red, he got up storming upstairs.

"Aw! Man up Randy!" Stu yelled. You sat there looking over at Tatum, "Should I..?". Tatum nodded, you went upstairs searching for Randy. He was whispering to himself in the near bathroom.

"Randy?" You knocked on the door. He opened it, "What?-".

"Just checking on you." You said softly. He looked down, "I'm fine.".

"Listen. I.. I think you're cute and all. But we just met.. but I'd like to get to know you more.." you smiled. Randy glanced over, you smiled, "Don't stress yourself out." You kissed his cheek going downstairs. He stood there shocked, he wasn't rejected yet accepted. He went downstairs, Stu cheered, "Yeah! The man's back in!!". You gave Stu a look, Stu stopped immediately.

Randy sat back down beside you, you hand rested on top of his lightly. Randy relaxed into the couch, he seemed to get tired slowly dozing off. You woke him up with a small flick.

"You're about to miss the cool parts.." you whispered. He looked over at the TV to Chucky hiding a voodoo doll.

"What's happening?" Randy asked, he knew what was happening he just wanted you to keep talking.

"So Charles Lee Ray used Voodoo to get inside the doll. Asked him to get out of the body, he said no cause he used it for evil. It's a shame people see other cultures as evil because of people like Chucky..." You whispered. Your breath hitting his ear softly, Randy nodded.

Once the movie ended almost everyone was asleep. Randy was determined to stay up with you. You sat up taking a sip of your beer.

"Do you need a ride home?" Randy muttered. You shook your head, "It's like a 10 minute walk to my house from here. Do you guys usually pass out here?" You asked looking at Tatum laying in Stus lap.

"Yeah, pretty much. Sidney doesn't like being home neither does Billy. Tatum enjoys being around people all the time. Stus parents are always gone.."

"And you?"

"Heh... I'm just desperate for friends." Randy took a sip of his beer. You gave him a sad look, "Wow.. I never really had friends either. Due to my.. scary wardrobe." You laughed softly.

"I think it's cool." Randy smiled. You smiled back, "Thanks. I should head home, bye Randy.".

"Bye." He smiled, you gave him a small peck on the cheek before leaving.

Ever since Saturday you've become closer to the friend group. You would get invited to hang outs and shopping at the mall.

Randy would notice you flirting with him more often. Sometimes you'd brush by him closely with a shy smile. He didn't mind, he'd sometimes hold your hand walking to class. You'd apologize for being so shy when he'd show affection. He'd laugh and tell you he found it cute.

But the more he hung out with you the stranger you'd act.

Randy would call at night when he couldn't sleep and you always answered. You explained your bad insomnia habits. When he mentioned hanging out at your house you'd panic and say it's messy. Your skin would start to get red from the sun. Whenever he asked about it you would shake your head saying it's genetic.

He knew something was wrong.

[wordupinc]

Check out our October 2024 schedule Yom Teruah will be on Wednesday, October 2 at 7PM Livestream only Yom Kippur will be on Saturday, October 12 at 10AM Livestream only Sabbath Worship will be Saturday, October 19 at 10AM will be a Flashback Livestream Sukkot Wednesday, October 16 at 7PM Livestream only and our Feast Gathering will be on Sunday, October 20 in Iselin NJ

For details go https://www.wordupinc.org/ or sign up for our emailing list or text WORDUP to 40691

Or call us at 877 967-3871 and give us your address and we will mail you a flyer.

[koogl001]

I have a request so......uh....here ya go *awkwardly delivers* Alastor finding out his s/o is a fallen angel. Like what if reader committed mass murder or smth up in heaven and got banished to hell???

(also if this is the second time you've seen this request I'm sorry. Tumblrs acting weird and wont tell me if my asks are going thru)

One-Shots and Headcanons Masterlist

Freedom, that’s all you ever wanted

Freedom to think, speak and do as you please

But there was no freedom in Heaven, there was only restrictions

You always felt trapped, like a bird in a cage, with wings that could take you anywhere in the world but unable to do so because of your imprisonment

God's Ten Commandments they called it, you called it giving up your freedom in order to live a life that was written out for you

There was only one thing you could do, and that was rebellion

You didn’t mind God sending you to Hell to repent, that was after all your goal

Now you were truly free to do as you pleased, with no one telling you what was right and what was wrong

When you first heard about the Happy Hotel, you just HAD to check it out

Not because you missed what you once had, no no no

It was because the idea seemed laughable to you

You knew there was no way for a sinner to ever atone, to save themselves from this burning inferno and escape to the safe haven called Heaven

And even if there was a way, you were more than sure that those who succeeded would regret their decision soon enough

That is how you met Alastor

He was a business partner with the owner of the Happy Hotel, the princess of Hell, Charlie Morningstar herself

He could tell you were different from the start, he just didn’t know how

And boy does he not like not knowing

He ordered his shadows to keep you under close surveillance, underestimating you dearly

You were a divine being and despite the fact you we no longer an inhabitant of Heaven, you still possessed your holy powers

The holy aura around you protected you burning Alastor’s shadow to a crisp in the process

You knew just what he was doing, and you weren’t gonna let him have the satisfaction of figuring you out

His frustration was just a cherry on top, making him more that perfect for you to play with

After all, you were now free to sin to your hearts content and he was your first target

But first, as a contribution to your new life and to spite the big man above, you decided to break all the Ten Commandments that tied you down and suffocated you for so long

You shall have no other God’s before me

You started building up your reputation in secret, gaining the title of the God of the Underworld for yourself

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images

As a new God of Hell, you soon started gaining followers and as your first command for them as their new leader, you requested a statue, as big as a skyscraper of yourself which they ought to pray to in your name

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain

As the self-proclaimed and later recognised God of the Underworld, you already had this one covered

Remember the Sabbath day and keep it Holy

It became your daily routine to go out on Saturdays and wreak as much havoc as you could, slaughtering anyone that stood in your path and leaving a blood bath behind you

Honor your father and mother

Come on, this one is too easy, no?

All you have to do is find your parents that are definitely in Hell if how they treated you was anything to go by, and just tell them to go fuck themselves right to their face

Thou shalt not kill

Say that to the little fucker that thought he could challenge you and take your tittle

Thou shalt not commit adultery

All it took was a single night getting hammered in the club, again too easy for your liking but hey, you were too petty and set in your goal so what is a girl to do

Thou shalt not steal

Making this one a challenge, instead of snatching up some clothes from a low security shop you decided to steal Alastor’s cane radio thingy, too bad it was in your possession for only a few hours before he “retrieved” it but making him mad but at the same time seeing him trying to restrict himself from killing you was entertaining enough

Thou shall not bear false witness

You should have seen Angel’s face when Vaggie charged at him

Hope it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact you might have told her he told you about fantasizing about Charlie giving him a b job

You shall not covet

Now that one was going to be a tough one

You had everything you could ask for, mainly because if you wanted something, you took it

Deep in thought about how to go about this one you didn’t realise Alastor was closely observing each of your moves

When you started with your little quest, he suspected it to be some kind of revenge for ending up in Hell but the more Commandments you broke, the more he realised this had to be personal

But how could a sinner have a personal vendetta against God?

There was only one way he figured; you weren’t a sinner at all

It would also explain why you looked more human-like, your strange powers, your aura and even why naturally you gravitated towards the hotel

Oh, how he would enjoy having the leverage over you, knowing your special little secret

You knew if word got out of you being who you really are, all of Hell would be out to get you

Don’t take me wrong, you’re more than strong but if the overlords, princes, rulers and such united, you wouldn’t stand a change

So, you had no other choice but to make a deal with the devil himself

He made you his personal maid, working you like a dog until you couldn’t even lift your hands anymore

The power he had over you was like a drug to him, and he just couldn’t get enough

But he hated how friendly and buddy-buddy the others were with you, ordering you to treat them as nothing but trash from now on and soon restricted you from even being in the same room as them

You were his and his alone, you didn’t need anyone else in your life

You were gifted a collar with Alastor’s name on it, after all who wouldn’t want to have an angel as their personal pet

How ironic, that you left heaven, finally escaping your cage with the hope freedom was what was awaiting you, only to fall into the chains of the deer demon, tying you down once again

[orthodoxadventure]

Great and Holy Saturday

Commemorated on May 4

Great and Holy Saturday is the day on which Christ reposed in the tomb. The Church calls this day the Blessed Sabbath.

“The great Moses mystically foreshadowed this day when he said: God blessed the seventh day. This is the blessed Sabbath This is the day of rest, on which the only-begotten Son of God rested from all His works....”

(Vesperal Liturgy of Holy Saturday)

By using this title the Church links Holy Saturday with the creative act of God. In the initial account of creation as found in the Book of Genesis, God made man in His own image and likeness. To be truly himself, man was to live in constant communion with the source and dynamic power of that image: God. Man fell from God. Now Christ, the Son of God through whom all things were created, has come to restore man to communion with God. He thereby completes creation. All things are again as they should be. His mission is consummated. On the Blessed Sabbath He rests from all His works.

THE TRANSITION

Holy Saturday is a neglected day in parish life. Few people attend the Services. Popular piety usually reduces Holy Week to one day—Holy Friday. This day is quickly replaced by another—Easter Sunday. Christ is dead and then suddenly alive. Great sorrow is suddenly replaced by great joy. In such a scheme Holy Saturday is lost.

In the understanding of the Church, sorrow is not replaced by joy; it is transformed into joy. This distinction indicates that it is precisely within death that Christ continues to effect triumph.

TRAMPLING DOWN DEATH BY DEATH

We sing that Christ is “...trampling down death by death” in the troparion of Easter. This phrase gives great meaning to Holy Saturday. Christ’s repose in the tomb is an “active” repose. He comes in search of His fallen friend, Adam, who represents all men. Not finding him on earth, he descends to the realm of death, known as Hades in the Old Testament. There He finds him and brings him life once again. This is the victory: the dead are given life. The tomb is no longer a forsaken, lifeless place. By His death Christ tramples down death by death.

THE ICON OF THE DESCENT INTO HADES

The traditional icon used by the Church on the feast of Easter is an icon of Holy Saturday: the descent of Christ into Hades. It is a painting of theology, for no one has ever seen this event. It depicts Christ, radiant in hues of white and blue, standing on the shattered gates of Hades. With arms outstretched He is joining hands with Adam and all the other Old Testament righteous whom He has found there. He leads them from the kingdom of death. By His death He tramples death.

“Today Hades cries out groaning: I should not have accepted the Man born of Mary. He came and destroyed my power. He shattered the gates of brass. As God, He raised the souls I had held captive. Glory to Thy cross and resurrection, O Lord!” (Vesperal Liturgy of Holy Saturday)

THE VESPERAL LITURGY

The Vespers of Holy Saturday inaugurates the Paschal celebration, for the liturgical cycle of the day always begins in the evening. In the past, this service constituted the first part of the great Paschal vigil during which the catechumens were baptized in the “baptisterion” and led in procession back into the church for participation in their first Divine Liturgy, the Paschal Eucharist. Later, with the number of catechumens increasing, the first baptismal part of the Paschal celebration was disconnected from the liturgy of the Paschal night and formed our pre-paschal service: Vespers and the Liturgy of Saint Basil the Great which follows it. It still keeps the marks of the early celebration of Pascha as baptismal feast and that of Baptism as Paschal sacrament (death and resurrection with Jesus Christ—Romans 6).

On “Lord I Call” the Saturday Resurrectional stichiras of Tone 1 are sung, followed by the the special stichiras of Holy Saturday, which stress the death of Christ as descent into Hades, the region of death, for its destruction. But the pivotal point of the service occurs after the Entrance, when fifteen lessons from the Old Testament are read, all centered on the promise of the Resurrection, all glorifying the ultimate Victory of God, prophesied in the victorious Song of Moses after the crossing of the Red Sea (“Let us sing to the Lord, for gloriously has He been glorified”), the salvation of Jonah, and that of the three youths in the furnace.

Then the epistle is read, the same epistle that is still read at Baptism (Romans 6:3-11), in which Christ’s death and resurrection become the source of the death in us of the “old man,” the resurrection of the new, whose life is in the Risen Lord. During the special verses sung after the epistle, “Arise, O God, and judge the earth,” the dark lenten vestments are put aside and the clergy vest in the bright white ones, so that when the celebrant appears with the Gospel the light of Resurrection is truly made visible in us, the “Rejoice” with which the Risen Christ greeted the women at the grave is experienced as being directed at us.

The Liturgy of Saint Basil continues in this white and joyful light, revealing the Tomb of Christ as the Life-giving Tomb, introducing us into the ultimate reality of Christ’s Resurrection, communicating His life to us, the children of fallen Adam.

One can and must say that of all services of the Church that are inspiring, meaningful, revealing, this one: the Vespers and Liturgy of Saint Basil the Great and Holy Saturday is truly the liturgical climax of the Church. If one opens one’s heart and mind to it and accepts its meaning and its light, the very truth of Orthodoxy is given by it, the taste and the joy of that new life which shines forth from the grave.

Rev. Alexander Schmemann

[thehummingbirdpost]

Jewish Voice for Peace Advocates for Palestinian Rights

Dale Colleen Hamilton

edendale24@gmail.com

April 2024

My friend Esther Farmer has lived in Brooklyn her whole life. Her parents, Palestinian Jews, immigrated there in the 1920s. Her father, a politically progressive activist, was labelled a communist and black-listed, making it difficult for him to find work. Her mother was way ahead of her times and her support for the Palestinian cause was loud and often fierce and she battled sexism fearlessly.

Esther calls herself culturally Jewish, religiously atheist, politically non-Zionist and passionately pro-Palestinian. She’s been involved with Palestinian rights organizations for decades and is on the leadership committee of Jewish Voice for Peace, whose membership has exploded since the war on Palestine began. Their protests have attracted thousands of people and have included shutting down Grand Central Station and the Manhattan Bridge.

On my recent visit to New York City, I went with Esther to several pro-Palestinian anti-war demonstrations. She says there’s some form of pro-Palestinian protest almost every day, so there were plenty of choices. While I was there, she did a reading from a book she co-edited, A Land with People as well as several zoom presentations. She lives and breathes Palestinian rights these days. One of the most moving things I’ve heard her say is that her grandmother told her that Palestinians, Jews and Arabs used to live just fine together in Palestine, until in 1917 the British decided, in their imperial “wisdom,” to "declare" that Palestine should be a Jewish state through the Balfour Declaration.

The first protest we went to was intended to take place in front of the Brooklyn home of Chuck Schumer (Democratic Senate Majority Leader) but police in riot gear blocked his street. Schumer is being targeted, in part, because he was given over $100,000 in campaign contributions by pro-Zionist AIPAC (American Israeli Public Affairs Committee). In response to the police blockade, the effigies of dead swaddled children being carried by the protesters were laid at the feet of the police. And the protesters read aloud a list of 64 names of dead Palestinian children. These names represented one tenth of one percent of the children killed since Oct 7th. It would have taken 24/7 for 2 days to have read all the names. As the names were spoken, I found myself watching the faces of the police officers for any glimmer of support or remorse, but they were well-trained to show no emotion. However, as the procession wound through the Saturday farmers’ market, many people stopped and quietened respectfully.

Another protest we attended was staged in front of the United Nations in Manhattan. Again, riot police were in full force. Although no arrests were made, Jewish Voice for Peace always has a lawyer present and a team of members ready to support anyone who does get arrested, as was the case during the Grand Central Station action, where over 300 people were arrested. To me as a Canadian gentile outsider, the most striking element of this protest was the range of participants, including Armenian and Kurdish rights activists, an Iranian Feminist group and about a dozen Orthodox Hasidic Jews, who have been demonstrating for Palestinian rights and denouncing Zionism and the Jewish state for years. It was the Sabbath so they aren’t allowed to take public transit or drive, so they had walked from Williamsburg, over 6 kms each way. Although Hasidic Jews are sometimes criticized for sexist practises, I couldn’t help but admire their dedication to the Palestinian cause.

In between demonstrations, we had the best Middle Eastern food I’ve ever experienced at a Palestinian restaurant called Ayat on Cortelyou Road in Brooklyn. Their menu includes a call for an end to the occupation and asks diners to “pray for peace for all”. The meal we had there felt sombre, but it also felt like a celebration of the swell of awareness and support for Palestinians and a rethinking of what it means to be Jewish and Israeli and the role US-made armaments play in the genocide.

By a stroke of dumb luck, I got the last rush ticket to see a sold-out play called The Ally, at the Public Theatre in Greenwich Village. In keeping with the apparent theme of my trip, it was a play about the Palestinian Israeli conflict. It presented all sides of the issue, which left my head spinning. In the lobby after the performance, a man who sounded like he knew what he was talking about said he thinks it will be remounted, which makes sense, seeing as it’s such a timely and important topic.

And oh yes, by way of contrast, while in New York I also experienced cherry trees in bloom (eerily early), an earthquake (4.8 magnitude centered in New Jersey) and the solar eclipse, which we watched grow to 90% totality in Prospect Park. And after the intensity of the protests, back at Esther’s each evening, we’d sit on the couch and watch Democracy Now and Aljazeera, trying to make sense of a world apparently on a collision course with itself.

[walkswithdave]

First, I had a great conversation with a woman* from Jamaica on the train, a Seventh Day Adventist who agreed with me that Ben’s home was gaudy. And we spoke of class and race and where to live outside this country if things go to shit. Then I met the retired operative** and Clinton bigwig Craig Smith, Robin’s colleague since small times in Arkansas, who spoke of India and Modi, and you don’t always know everything about who you are working for.

*Carol, and she was on her way to Miami to get her daughter who was coming in from Panama, a long day of travel with the mini-collapse of computerized society. A Jamaican mother of a 2 1/2 pound premature baby, she said, she will never stop worrying about her little girl, who is now 30 with an MBA. And she said she was a “sabbath keeper” and I said what is that like Jews for Jesus or something and she said sort of. And she told me about working in her garden at her house in Boynton Beach, and an old white man, maybe in his 80s, saying he sees her there all the time, asking what days does she have off? And I said oh, he thought…and she cut me off and said I know what he thought, and I just played with him a bit. She told him I have Saturdays off, and he said and they make you work on your days off? and then her husband came out and started giving him a hard time and she said you know, my husband is not quite right in the head, but I told him he’s just an old man, leave him alone. And this guy, he still thinks she’s the help and he’s the house boy, and he’s just never seen the owners of the house, and that’s when I mentioned the big house in DC with the Jesus painting above the fireplace, where they told us deliveries are around back. Doctor Carson, she said, I know that fool well. 

**Politricks, as Carol called it. 

[musicalhell]

I just watched your Saturday's Warrior video, and...gods the war flashbacks are WILD. I was raised Mormon, and the 1989 home video version of this monstrosity was one of the few things we were allowed to watch on the Sabbath Day. Then we had the soundtrack on cassette tape, but...Gods now I'm fully out, it was painful to watch because it was so *accurate* and familiar.

I just wanna say thank you for not being afraid to call out bullshit in religious media. It means a lot to me as someone who has had to fight through a lot of religious trauma. Between this (which is specific to my own personal religious upbringing) and High Tops, I really feel validated hearing you call out Christian hypocrisy.

Also, I loved Donna's snarky comments XD She's right and she should say it.

I have a Facebook friend who's ex-Mormon; she's got some horror stories...

Being religious myself, I think it's important to call out the institutional and cultural dysfunctions from within, in no small part as atonement for the trauma done to those like yourself, and to hopefully prevent it from happening further.

Donna has definitely gotten a lot snarkier since her first appearance. There's a bit of Lady Whistledown in her, I think.

[foodandfolklore]

Why there is a Man in the Moon

The book of numbers is probably the weirdest book from the bible. And that's really saying something. But I love weird so here we are. The man in the moon is often talked about and referenced when discussing iconic Fable characters. If you've ever seen Dreamwork's Rise of the Guardians, the Man in the Moon is like the Nick Furry to the Holiday Avengers. He's often mentioned in European folktales to explain why the craters of the moon kind of look like a face to some.

But it actually goes back further than that. The story of the man in the moon is a Jewish folk tale about a man gathering wood on the Sabbath, and was placed on the moon as punishment for working on the day of rest. In the book of Numbers, I believe the man is stoned to death as ordered by God.

Similar retellings can be found in many other cultures, and has mostly been retold in Europe. Most have been Christianized, thus having the day be on a Sunday rather a Saturday. In some retellings, the man is actually Cain who has been doomed to a life of immortality wandering the earth. Placing him on the moon cause like "What else can we do?".

This version is quite a short one, from the 1902 Book of Nature Myths. It's a tad funny upon reading that the man fears his wife more than God or God-like being.

"Goodman," said the goodwife, "you must go out into the forest and gather sticks for the fire. To-morrow will be Sunday, and we have no wood to burn."

"Yes, goodwife," answered the goodman, "I will go to the forest."

He did go to the forest, but he sat on a mossy rock and fished till it was dark, and so he brought home no wood. "The goodwife shall not know it," he thought. "I will go to the forest to-morrow morning and gather sticks."

When morning came, he crept softly out of the house when it was hardly light, and went to the forest. Soon he had as many sticks as he could carry, and he was starting for home when a voice called sternly, "Put those sticks down." He looked to the right, to the left, before him, behind him, and over his head. There was no one to be seen.

"Put those sticks down," said the voice again.

"Please, I do not dare to put them down," replied the goodman, trembling with fear. "They are to burn, and my wife cannot cook the dinner without them."

"You will have no dinner to-day," said the voice.

"The goodwife will not know that I did not gather them last night, and she will let me have some dinner. I am almost sure she will," the goodman replied.

"You must not gather sticks to-day," said the voice more sternly than ever. "It is Sunday. Put them down."

"Indeed, Mr. Voice, I dare not," whispered the goodman; and afar off he thought he heard his wife calling, "Goodman, where are you? There is no wood to burn."

"Will you put them down, or will you carry them forever?" cried the voice angrily.

"Truly, I cannot put them down, for I dare not go home without them," answered the goodman, shaking with fear from head to foot. "The goodwife would not like it."

"Then carry them forever," said the voice. "You care not for Sunday, and you shall never have another Sunday."

The goodman could not tell how it came about, but he felt himself being lifted, up, up, up, sticks and all, till he was in the moon.

"Here you shall stay," said the voice sternly. "You will not keep Sunday, and here you need not. This is the moon, and so it is always the moon's day, or Monday, and Monday it shall be with you always. Whenever any one looks up at the moon, he will say, 'See the man with the sticks on his back. He was taken to the moon because he gathered wood on Sunday.'"

"Oh dear, oh dear," cried the goodman, "what will the goodwife say?"