#not to stop worshipping god or being a Christian mind you just switching church day from sat to sun
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Any of y'all's church had the 'Narional Sunday Law' booklet?
Cause that mf told me to choose the electric chair as a teenager to defend my jesusy rights, or get sent to hell
Real question:
Put your denomination in the tags if yes!
#twas a Seventh Day Adventist#some weird offshoot of mormonism where our titular 'were right and YOURE WRONG :)))'#came from the fact we went to church on sat instead lf sun#and also had an INSANNNEEE fixation on Revelations specifically#like fucking ate slept and bled revelations#and if you dont know thats the book all about The End Times#only the sanest of people here#we had little pamplets in our church which was a tiny booklet called 'the national sunday law' a āfictionā story about the days to come#in it was a story how the gov enforced that everyone HAD to worship on sundays#and rebels and nasty Saturday worshippers would be hinted and killed š„ŗ#and the story follows a girl being hunted#thrown in prison and starved for this and all she has to do is rebuke the 'True Sabbath' to live#she refuses#And is immediately sent#wait for it#TO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR#shes like 13 btw this is a child#she gets strapped into the zappy seat#about to become a lightly fried Adventist fillet#and then!!! jesus comes back!š±šš„°#and she goes to heavenš¤©š„³#while the nasty sunday law jerks go to hellšš#the end :)#so not only was it better to die a Christian#but if the government threatened you#a 13 year old girl#with the fucking electric chair#not to stop worshipping god or being a Christian mind you just switching church day from sat to sun#you better choose the electric chair or youll burn in hell#my upbringing was normal
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christian girls & pornography
Ever since I posted a Tik Tok video with the same title as this post, my inbox has been flooded with girls and grown women who struggle with the same temptation that I have.
It might be pretty jarring to come across a Christian girl talking about her struggle with pornography but, it happens. And if my DMs are only .0001% of the population of Christian girls who struggle with lust, then Iām pretty sure every 1 in 2 girls probably has a secret habit of this too āā not even exaggerating. Women are humans with sexual urges too, just because we love Jesus doesnāt mean we donāt wanna do the do (after marriage, of course). But thatās where the struggle starts. As a single woman, we know that itās Godās will for us wait until MARRIAGE. How can you wait that long and not explode? How is it even practical in terms of knowing your body before your husband does? It leads to a lot of curiosity about sex and a need to understand why itās so forbidden.Ā
I saw my first pornographic video as a computer pop-up at 8-years-old. Since that day, it opened a curiosity about sex and what that entire āgrown-up worldā was about. Like any kid who grew up with the internet and didnāt know something, I googled āsexā. You can only imagine what I got myself into. Itās almost funny but itās actually super traumatizing. I was bound to watching porn until I was a Sophomore in college. I always felt wrong and knew it wasnāt right after I finished, but I just took the few green lights from articles I found online about the joyous health benefits of masturbation and plugged my ears to my conscience screaming at me. I googled, āIs masturbation bad?ā and of course, nothing but, āNooooo, noo not at all! Itās healthy! Itās good for you to know your own body! Itās good for you to know what you like!ā was all that I found. I didnāt think to google, āIs masturbation a sin?ā I was 8, but maybe I wouldāve had confirmation of the bad feeling that I had on the inside if I asked that question. Because, yes, masturbation is a sin (Matthew 5:27-30). Someone close to me couldāve told me this too, but that would mean admitting that I watch people have sex in my spare time... nah, Iām good. I isolated myself and felt so overwhelmed with shame. No one could know I dealt with this, I hid it and swore I would take it to my grave. But, like the saying goes āwhat is done in the dark comes to lightā and my issues manifested in other ways. This habit led me to lust after my friends (bi-curiosity), feeling like a baby for being a teenaged virgin, and seeking validation from boys by wearing revealing clothes that I never actually felt comfortable in.Ā
The question that I get asked the most is, āhow did you conquer it?ā How did I overcome, stop the habit, break the stronghold?
A little backstory.Ā
So, my lifestyle and spiritual practice at 19 years old was anti-Jesus. I was down for anything, pretty much, except submitting my life fully to God. I didnāt have a religious affiliation, I just considered myself āspiritual.ā My open-mindedness landed me in a toxic relationship with one of my closest friends who I knew was bisexual. When we began talking, we bonded over the law of attraction, manifestation, angel numbers, and we confessed to each other that we both watched porn āā it was attractive to her. Fast forward, after much emotional manipulation on both ends (I used her for validation and attention, she did the same), I ended it and I was ready to get serious about God. You see, I grew up a Pastorās kid in church my whole life, I knew better and I was rebelling. I wanted the peace that surpassed all understanding, I wanted contentment, joy, and favor. That Christmas break, when I went back home from college, going to church felt different. I was engaged and hungry, I was spiritually poor and starved. Thatās when my pastor read Matthew 6:33, āBut seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.ā Thatās all I needed and I started pursuing God like never before. I blocked her number, I went back to school after my break and got rid of everything I owned that didnāt please God. I switched up the music that I was listening to, I fasted for the first time (and made it a real spiritual challenge for myself in order to get the most out of it), and I cut back on hanging out with my friends at the time. Thatās when I stopped watching porn entirely, and itās been a year since. Four months since I fell into masturbation.Ā
Now, I understand how that didnāt really answer the question. Thatās because thereās nothing that we can do to conquer anything, but abide in God. Itās the Holy Spirit that gives us a desire to live for Him, He speaks to us and called us to Himself before we say to ourselves, āI think Iāll give Jesus a chance.ā Thatās Him choosing you! Thereās a moment when you snap out of it and notice how youāve been living in the scraps of what this world has to offer, that moment for me was blocking the girl I was dating. Everything that represented that life had to go, from posters to clothes to what I watched online. I refused to be enslaved to that sin and I surrendered my sexuality over to my Creator.
One thing I want you to take away from this is that we are not the hero in our story. We donāt vindicate ourselves or conquer anything, God is our hero and Savior. Itās through Christ that we are more than conquerors. Not through our own strength or practical tips.Ā
But they do help! Here are a few:
1) Guard your heart - donāt watch shows/movies or listen to music thatās centered around sex or has a lot of sex scenes in it. Otherwise, it will trigger you.
2) Be mindful of the company you keep - when you want to break free from sexual sin, you wonāt find the support or good influences you need if your friends encourage casual sex. Entertaining conversations about sex might be triggering, too.
3) Remember that it takes physical effort and restraint to stop - this isnāt passive, you have to literally refuse and fight against it.Ā
4) Call on the name of Jesus - forreal, tho.
5) Tell someone - it doesnāt have to be right now but, tomorrow isnāt promised and confessing your sins will set you free. James 5:16.
Youāve probably tried all of that and it didnāt work, thatās because it will never be enough. Youāre not strong enough to resist something as desirable and satisfying as sexual sin, as humans (even Christians!) we love sin. Thereās something in us that canāt get enough of it āā unless we love something even MORE than we love sexual sin. We must love God, He is our strength. The more time you spend with Him (reading His word, praising Him, worshipping Him, learning more about Him) the more youāll be disgusted by sin. God changes your desires and youāll get to a point where you canāt even bring yourself to open that website again. Itās a fight against the Spirit and the Flesh, principalities, and powers, itās not one you can just grit your teeth and power through āā ya need Jesus!Ā
Some of you will leave this post and have the spiritual motivation to spend some time with God for a few minutes, then youāll be bored. Youāll think to yourself, āI really want to stop falling into this sin, but I guess I donāt want it enough because I keep falling asleep when I read the Bible.ā Thatās not true, beloved. Weāve all been there. Your level of engagement has nothing to do with how badly you want God to work in your life, you need the Holy Spirit to help you. Pray to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to give you the Holy Spirit so that you will enjoy and look forward to knowing more about Him.Ā
This temptation can either destroy your relationship with God or bring you closer to Him. He can break this thing off of you, but it will be His working in you ā completely. He fights our battles, our job is to be still and abide in Him. The more you love Him, the more youāll hate sin because sin separates *you* from the One that you love, Him. However, it never separates *His* love from *you* (Romans 8:31-38), we can begin to feel distant and guilty which leads us to continue because we feel too far gone anyways. Thatās a lie from the enemy. The more you sin, the farther you stray from God, but He never will give up on you. Read Luke 15, itās never too late to come home ā itās all about having a relationship.
God could instantly deliver you from this but, how would that change your heart and bring you closer to Him? You would be grateful for a bit, then you might slip into another temptation to replace the porn. Itās through a relationship with God that your heart changes and you will not desire any sin. Because outside of looking at others with lust by watching porn, are you a liar? Do you steal? Are you disrespectful to your parents? Are you easily angered and offended? If you are, youāre guilty of more than just watching pornography, youāve committed crimes against God. But, He loves us so much that He sent Jesus to take our punishment for the sins we committed. Jesus experienced Godās condemnation so we never have to, all we have to do is trust that Godās punishment for us was finished in Jesusā sacrifice and repent ā turn from our old ways and be a new creation. We donāt do this in our own strength, we do this through the Holy Spirit, thereās no way any of us can be more like Jesus without His help. If you truly accept Jesus (not just say the Sinnerās Prayer but allow it to change you), you wonāt just go to Heaven, but youāll receive the love, validation, contentment, and the intimacy that youāve been searching for here on Earth.Ā
I havenāt arrived fully to this point yet, itās a process to become satisfied in Him as a Child of God. At times I fear that I havenāt really surrendered my life, thereās a lot that I still want to control like peopleās perceptions of me and making sure nothing impedes on my nap time. However, I donāt doubt that God is greater. It takes time and devotion to love Him, I will continue to learn how to love Him for the rest of my life. But with love comes trust and trust leads to obedience, itās like that for all of us.
God is not mad at you, Heās not ashamed of you, He doesnāt find you embarrassing and He is NOT disappointed in you. He loves you and He will fight this for you, all you need to do is receive His love by surrendering your life to His purpose for you and start living as the new creation that you are. You are a daughter of the Most High God, no longer are you a slave to sin.Ā
āNo temptationĀ has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,Ā he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.ā 1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV
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Kinship and wedding rituals- P3&P4
Annalisse Ayala
Professor Barton
Soc 3
P3&P4
The Big Fat Hispanic Christian Wedding
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā This wedding story will be based off of my parents and how they went through hell to get married as well as have a kid. It all started the day my father, Samson, decided to propose to my mother, Rosemary. My mother and father had been dating for about two years before he had popped the big question, and during those two years of dating, life was great. My father would visit my mom at her job almost every day (about a thirty-minute drive) for lunch and my mom would also do the same. Throughout the work days, as well as days they werenāt able to hang out together, Samson and Rosemary would send each other messages through their beepers with codes like 143, meaning I love you. Before they had met my mother wasnāt really a Christian, she would tell people she was catholic but never practiced it. My father on the other hand grew up in a Pentecostal Christian church and was very involved in the church. When they started to date my mother decided to give church a try and after a couple of times attending she gave her life to God and became a Christian. My fatherās parents, Carmen and Jorge who were Puerto Ricans, were ecstatic to hear that Rosemary, a Dominican woman, became a Christian and they introduced her to everyone at the church as well as taught her the traditions and rules that must be followed when becoming a Christian and becoming a member of the church.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā When becoming a Christian, as well as becoming a member of the church my father grew up in, there were some rules that mother, Rosemary, had to follow. Now side note- since then the rules and traditions of the church have changed, meaning that back then they were very old school and now they are more lax about how to dress and how to go about things. Some of the rules Rosemary had to follow was that she had to wear a long skirt when attending the church, jeans were prohibited as well as having earring so if someone had their ear pierced they would have to take it out before entering the church. Another rule Rosemary had to follow was she and my father had to wait until marriage to have sex, as well as no more drinking and drugs. As time went on, Rosemary got more comfortable with the members of the church and began to become more and more involved in the church as well as a youth group they had. In order to be an official member of the church Rosemary had to take baptism classes, which are classes that usually last about an hour. In these classes, they would learn about the bible and what it meant to be baptized. After Rosemary was baptized, she became a member with my father and together they were a happy Christian couple.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Carmen, Samsonās mother, was very fond of Rosemary, despite the fact she was Dominican (Puerto Ricans and Dominicans are not very fond of each other). She invited Rosemary to dinner all the time and they would talk and enjoy each otherās company, but that all changed the day Samson proposed. October 25, 1998 was the day of Rosemaryās 20thbirthday, the day Samson proposed to her. Once the news was that they were going to get married, Carmenās attitude toward Rosemary flipped like a switch. Carmen became so angry that she no longer would talk to Rosemary, there were time where Samson would invite her over for dinner and Carmen would not even let her through the door, she would not let her in the house. Carmenās disapproval of the marriage just made Samson and Rosemary want to be together even more so they decided to have the wedding in the next year. On the other hand, Luisa and Radhames, Rosemaryās Dominican Parents, were excited about the proposal of the two. They werenāt too happy that they were so young but they loved Samson and loved the fact that he was a Christian man who helped my mom with her alcoholism and drug use. They didnāt care that my dad was Puerto Rican, because race wasnāt in their mind, only love.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Early in the next year (1999) Rosemary and Samson found out they were expecting a child. This brought great fear because that meant they would have to tell the church, their parents, as well as the extended family, because if they didnāt tell the extended family they would feel offended and it would create more problems in the family. They each decided to tell their own parents by themselves due to the fear of the parentsā reactions. When Samson told his parents, Jorge began to ask a series of questions like how? where? when? why?. Jorge became very overwhelmed and walked outside. Carmen on the other hand was at a loss of words, all she said was, āSamson go talk to your father.ā. When Rosemary told her mom, disappointment flooded the room. Her mother said, ādo you not listen to your pastor??ā, then walked away. My mother and her mother did not talk for a couple of months.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Rosemary and Samson began to discuss options on how to go about the wedding. They were scared to go to the pastor of the church because had sinned and had premarital sex. But the built up the courage and told him. He was very disappointed in them so he put them in discipline for six months. At a Pentecostal Christian church, discipline was used as sort of a punishment when someone did something that went against the bible, it basically entails that the person who is in discipline will not be able to participate in the things of the church. This included singing if individual was a part of the worship team, if they were an individual who played an instrument for the church they would not be able to do that anymore, and if you were a leader then you would have to step down from the position until after the suggested time. Many donāt need to the pastor everything that is on their lives or what they are doing but people do it because they want to take responsibility for the sin they had committed, and thatās exactly what my parents did. The next time they went to church, the pastor called the both of them up to the front of the congregation and told everyone what they had done. Rosemary was so embarrassed, ashamed, and furious that the pastor would do that to them. Rosemary and Samson had a fight that day that put a real strain in the relationship because she no longer wanted to go back to that church.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā The news was out, and everybody in the church knew that the two newly engaged youth were expecting a baby before the wedding. Rumors began to spread, and one of the rumor spreaders was Carmen, Samsonās mom. Carmen began to talk Maliciously behind Rosemaryās back and even began to talk to Jorgeās sister Jackie about the matter. Jackie was fed the lies that Carmen was saying that she confronted her nephew Samson about her concerns. So, one day Jackie called Samson and they began to talk about the relationship between Samson and Rosemary. She advised Samson to leave Rosemary due to many reasons that included her not coming from a Christian background, being a bad influence, her being Dominican so she could be sneaky and leave you with no money in your pocket, etc. Samson, after hearing what his Tia (Spanish for aunt) had to say, the woman he looked up to, he went over to Rosemaryās house and broke up with her. Rosemary was heartbroken at the fact that during this hard time Samson didnāt even fight for the relationship and also because now she had to figure out a way to support a child by herself.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Samson and Rosemary were no longer together and each day apart from each other became harder and harder. One day, on Samsonās day off, he began to fix his room up and while doing so he found one of the love letters Rosemary had written for him while they were still together. He sat down and began reading it. A tear fell. In that moment, he knew that the breakup was a huge mistake and he had to get Rosemary back. Samson decided to go and buy the prettiest flowers he can find and go to Rosemaryās job and ask her to forgive him as well as put back on the wedding.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Samson finally made it to Rosemaryās job, flowers in hand (lilies- her favorite), heart beating miles a minute. Hands became sweatier and sweatier with each step he took. He opened the door and there he saw Rosemary at the front desk of the doctorās office she worked at. They made eye contact but Rosemary looked away. Samson walked up to her and asked if they could speak in private. They both went into the break room and argued about what had happened. Samson pleaded to Rosemary to take him back and tried to explain to her that he had made a terrible mistake. Explained to her that he never should have let the opinions of others cloud his mind and interfere with their relationship. He told her that he wanted to show her that he would always put her and the baby first no matter what. Rosemary was conflicted, she was raised to not take any crap from a guy and that if they didnāt want to be with her than their loss. She had witness her mother go through so much with her father growing up. Both are now divorced, but she didnāt want her child to go through anything remotely similar to that relationship. She told Samson that she would think about it and sent him on his way.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Rosemary went home that night conflicted on how to go about this life altering decision. Does she go back to Samson, get married, and risk him choosing his family over her and the baby or does she raise the baby herself. She was so overwhelmed with so many feelings that she just sat on her bed and remembered what she had learned in church. She remembered that when you feel overwhelmed or sad to stop and pray to God, so that what she did. She asked for forgiveness and guidance on what to do and in that moment it came to her that Samson is nothing like her dad. Samson was a good Christian man and that if they tried to have a good Christian relationship and put God first, God would protect her and her child. She had faith in God and in Samsonās promises. After this realization, she called Samson and told him that she wanted to get back together as well as get married.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā The two 20 year olds were happy and in love again. They told everyone that wedding was back on and they moved up the date of the wedding to May. Everyone was happy for them except for Samsonās mother and his aunt Jackie.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā To go according to ritual, the wedding took place in the church, and it was a beautiful ceremony. Rosemary and Samson were smitten, and the others who disapproved of the wedding wore their fake smiles to the wedding and reception. Side note: throughout the years Carmen and Rosemary still do not get along and Carmen still doesnāt allow Rosemary inside the house and Samson kept his promises to Rosemary.
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What religions do you think each of the HA characters would follow as adults?
Oooooh, religion. The topic everyone loves to pretend doesnāt exist and just copy-pastes onto their favs without comment. Thisāll be fun. Sure hope nobody runs me over with their car after this. Thatād be justā¦ terrrrriiibbblleee, hahaā¦Ā
Okay, Iām gonna come right out with it and say I think Arnold is a lazy Christian. This headcanon is brought to you by our sponsor, the original claymation short,Ā āArnold Goes to Church.ā So, yes, I think Miles and Stella must be religious in some sense. Stellaās probably Catholic, since I HC her with a mom from Central America. Iāve always pegged the Shortmans for very lazy Christians (no clue what denomination, justā¦ Christians), so I think when Miles and Stella met, Miles was not used to attending Church regularly or at all, but he started doing it because Love. So for the first year or two of his life, Arnold attended service every Sunday like clockwork and just completely zonked out, and then at some point after his parents peaced out of his life, he started reading the Bible because it was another way of keeping them close. Iāve always found it hilarious when people describe Arnold asĀ āa good Christian boy,ā because itās such a perfect epithet for him. He really is such a good Christian boy. Everything about the way he conducts himself just screams it. Like, you know Arnold didnāt get that virtuous stick up his ass from his grandparents or, ha!, the boarders.
That said, yeah, I think heās lazy about it, too. I donāt know that Arnoldās ever set foot in a Church more than a few times in his life since his parents pranced off to take a decade-long nap; Iām not sure that itās something he believes with his whole heart; Iām not even sure itās something he spends much time thinking about. I see it functioning as a kind of absent-minded security blanket more than anything, and if prodded about it, heād just make a face at you. When he gets to be an adult, I can totally see him taking religious studies in college, though, since his parents got back and kinda roped him into attending Church again, on top of that whole uncomfortable San Lorenzo thing with theā¦ the Green Eyesā¦ worshipping him and all, likeā¦ Yeah, I can see it becoming a fascination of his. In my personal canon, he ultimately ends up pretty agnostic, but still practices from time to time just for the sake of it, and not just Christianity. He speaks with the Green Eyes often and the whole of their society is mounted on a firm bedrock of religious belief (they insist heās divine and heās not gonna be a dick about it), so he adopts a gentle, deferential kind of relationship with religion as a whole.
I think Helgaās chronically atheist by day, bitter believer by night. Like really just sobs obscenities into her pillow and demands things. Hasnāt she done that in show? It seems like thatās happened before in some sense. Sometimes when HelgaāsĀ ātalking to herself,ā it really feels like sheās speaking to some higher power, and not very kindly. I donāt really see that changing too much once sheās an adult. Like, a lot less anal and far more judicious about it all, but still kinda leaning somewhere in the middle. Not really agnostic, sheās too dramatic for thatājust, like a light switch constantly flipping back and forth.
Haroldās Jewish. He always will be Jewish. I think heās happy that way. I donāt see him ever changing. Heās gonna be your friendly neighborhood Jewish butcher, secure in himself and his beliefs without ever being disrespectful about any of it, and youāre gonna adore him.
Iāll briefly mention a few others Iāve thought about a little, but thatās kinda the end of the characters Iāve given real and genuine consideration towards. Except Sid. Iām gonna sob-laugh about Sid for a second and none of you can stop me. Brace yourselves.
I think Sidās going to bounce from belief system to belief system until he dies. Like literally, one week heās Baptist, the next heās Buddhist, the next heās Pagan. One week, he just shows up and announces heās a Quaker becauseĀ āthat Marge Felt lady was right, my relationship with God is my business and my business alone and I shouldnāt have to justify it to anybody, not those stuffy weirdos at the Church or you, Arnold,ā but then literally a couple weeks later he shows up smoking an incense stick and is like,Ā āInstitutional religion has always been oppressive. The heart and soul of the body is the only true indicator of reality. The stars are my truth.ā Naturally he discards all that by next month and is a devoted Catholic and heās never been anything but a Catholic, deep down heās always Known heās Catholic, he was Born a Catholic and how could you suggest there was ever a time he wasnāt Catholic?? Arnold??? Fuck you, Arnold?? The priest is standing right there, Arnold?? You Bitch???? One time he tries to break into Judaism but Harold punches him in the face so hard the next day heās an atheist with an emo haircut and a spontaneous obsession with Asking Alexandria. Harold feels a little bad. But only a little.
Nadineās casually spiritual and meditates from time to time with Sheena, who is a far more devout incense smoker. Probably where Sid got the idea from.Ā
Stinkyās a vampire. Heās Christian in theory, but he canāt go into Churches. T'shame.
Rhonda Is Not White 2k19, so whatever religion there is in her home country is probably what she practices very fashionably and with great pride and little reflection. Because sheās justā¦ like that. Donāt ask me what her home country is, Iāve been trying to figure it out but itās hard. Korean? Filipino? Lebanese? Idk. Iām open to suggestions.
Thatās all I got.
#Anonymous#asks#religion#hey arnold#HEY ARNOLD!#jazzing#yes i know incense isn't for smoking#if a single one of yous comes into my inbox like ''um actually--'' i will annihilate you#much love
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things keep happening. Mostly little things now, some of them random and inconsequential. But thereāve been some big things recently (and in years past) that have me CONVINCED Iām a claircognizant empath/medium
Iāll detail it below but if anyone has any reading or advice on how to strengthen/hone this? It would be appreciated. (Under the cut are detailed instances, about 6 paragraphs.)
(For the record, I am Christian, I donāt go near actual Wicca practices as far as spells or worship. I do however believe my empathetic talents were given to me by God. I believe in sensingĀ energy and using it as knowledge, not manipulation of anything in the natural world. I worship God and believe knowledge (like science studies) and gifts like this are given to help us fulfill His plan. Anything that causes direct change, damage, or healing; rituals; and polytheistic worship I donāt believe in nor will practice. Things that are okay with me: - the use of stones, elements, meditation, and mindfulness to focus - the use of clairvoyance/sentience to guide others or self from danger/toward good - The warding away of evil - The protection of good - healing based on medicinal knowledge - the existence of demonic/angelic presences/guardian angels, as well as spirits and entities on EarthĀ - theĀ āenergiesā surrounding us, whether theyāre natural or spiritual, and the idea that all sentient things have emotional energy (auras)
The claircognizant/empath thing, well. Iām the most Sterotypical Empath tbh. Iām a Pisces, introvert, have anxiety/depression that STEMS from being an introvert...but it also stems from the negativity in my life. I sense when people around me are angry, sad, etc and when most of it is irrational or stemming from untreated mental illness..well, it doesnāt have to be aimed toward me for me to feel it. I can walk into a room and, without actually looking at the other person, know if theyāre happy, sad, angry, stressed. I can feel the energy change when they leave, or feel the switch between emotions. Any time Iāve been wrong about it, itās because I misinterpreted where/who the feelings were beingĀ āaimedā at by the other person.
I also get feelings about conversations and actions, which may be empath mixed with precognizance? The only āvisionsā I have are blurry-but-specific images tied to little mundane events, but a handful of them have been about life changing things. I can USUALLY tell when a choice will result in a bad outcome, even if thereās no way to tell (knowing that going into a dorm was gonna be hell, not because of my anxiety, but because of ONE specific roommate. Very specific feeling.) The feelings I get ofĀ āI need to text this person because theyre having a bad dayā. The time my friend texted me a completely normal, routine question...and I got this sinking feeling in my stomach, knowing that conversation was going to be something I didnāt want to hear. (I literally had to tell myselfĀ ādonāt be dumb, this is normal, why are you worried?!ā I was right, and almost wish Iād just ignored the text)
Tying into mediumship, Iāve had dreams and very specific thoughts of my grandparents, days before they passed away, without being contact with them.
Iāve had one or two dreams where I believe a deceased relative has contacted me, but those only happen days after theyāve passed. The dreams are vivid, peaceful, and I can sense their spirit. Theyre also very ordinary (like sitting down and talking), and both times, Iāve learned something from the discussion that Iāve brought up later to other relatives and learned it was true. These are facts Iāve never heard before, even in passing. Iāve also been visited by someone I admire but have never met. Iāve had a dream of him comforting me and thereās been a few other times where I can feel his presence near me, like heās watching over me.Ā
I know I can feel spirits/entities. There have been two in my house: one malevolent and oneĀ āneutralā one. The malevolent oneĀ always manifested as the feeling of eyes staring at me from one particular corner of my room. They would watch me move around, and I would get a feeling of dread and anxiety any time it was present. I could tell it wanted to hurt me. Once, I woke up with scratches down my leg--they matched the placement of 4 fingers, but they were going toward my feet, not my head, like they would if *I* had scratched myself. (The spacing and length also didnāt match up.) I got holy water after that. Iāve felt another spirit only once or twice, and itās been in the living room area. It likes to move around me in a circle, studying me. Iām fairly certain itās a woman. She doesnāt want to hurt me, but I can feel that she wants to reach out, maybe surprise me a bit? She wants a reaction, but means no real harm.Ā
I had a sleep paralysis episode about 10-11 years ago (never had one before, have only had ONE since) where I was lying in my bed, unable to move, and a shadow person was standing in the open doorway of my room. The shadow flickered slightly and stretched slowly out, like it was reaching out for me--then it would snap back into place like a rubber band being let go. Stretch...then snap back. It tried at least 4 times, and each time, it got closer to me. I donāt remember how I woke up. Itās the only thing Iāve encountered that I canāt tell the gender of, which matches up. (And I only read up on shadow people AFTER this encounter). Iām also fairly certain Iāve seen the same flickering shadowy shape out of the corner of my eye more than once.
Iāve also felt an angel at least twice. Iām not sure if it was the same one both times, but the first time, I was in my single bedroom apartment, alone, essentially having a nervous breakdown. I was miserable at the time, I felt so alone, I called my mom at 1 am just to feel like I existed outside of my 3 room tiny space.I talked to her, got off the phone, called her back still feeling the impulse to bolt from my apartment. I coulnt breathe, think, my whole body hurt, I was curled in on myself. Then suddenly, in the middle of my mom saying something (that wasnt really working to distract me)--in an INSTANT, I felt better. I felt safe and loved and protected and warm. I felt something wrap around my shoulders and body from behind, like a giant weighted blanket. But also like a person, like wings. Like LOVE. I canāt describe it any other way as cheesy as it sounds. I wasnāt exactly sleeping soon, but after spending 2 hours hysterically sobbing and feeling numb, I felt safe and okay, if not happy.
(tw, slight suicidal intention) The second time was about 7 months later. I was driving to my apartment in a bad rain storm. I made a dumb, preventable mistake and my car slipped off the road and started rambling through the bushes along the side. I tried to steer but I was being jostled around. It felt like it last for a while, because I have a clear memory of thinkingĀ āIām about to dieā and basically resigned myself to it. I had the impulse and took my hands OFF the wheel, which I knew was ALSO dumb and I SWEAR that time lasted several seconds. Then I had an impulse to put my hands BACK on the wheel...which led me to eventually turning the wheel JUST right so I hit a culvert, which bounced me back up onto the road. I came to a stop literally in the driveway of a church.Ā
All of these experiences have led me to believe I have a definite connection to the paranormal. Most of it is mundane inconsequential things, but the big things are undeniable.Ā
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Turning 47: pt. XV
āCh-ch-ch-changesā
26 May 2018
āYou know, in Sweden they make these perfectly shaped butter knives. Theyāre just ideal for spreading butter on pancakes,ā I say as I wolf down a hot stack. Itās a bright Sunday morning in Evergreen, Colorado at Benny & Kathleenās. Thankfully, they were home last night and were willing to put me up for the night (kicking their middle child out of his room for me...extra thanks to him). I woke to a family of deer peering in my window from the surrounding forest and the smell of breakfast coming from the kitchen upstairs. How did I deserve all of this? Again, I am overcome by the generosity and warm hospitality of people who I havenāt seen in forever.
āSo, how did the meeting at Barnes & Noble go?,ā they ask with baited breath. āWell, wow...,ā I reply, and proceed to reiterate the details of the story that I have laid down in the previous parts of this tale, showing them the photo of Arla and me in the park. āOh wow! Itās really undeniable,ā they marvel. I am here and present, but also in a bit of a daze. That just happened, and here I am in the home of old college friends on a Sunday morning, eating breakfast before they go off to church. Time is playing ALL KINDS of tricks. Now is then is now is then. Waxing and waning. Kathleen is buzzing around the kitchen, whipping up pancakes in her Sunday best, while Benny and I commisurate over coffee. Itās as if I walked through a wormhole from 1993 to 2018. I feel the same way in their presence as I did when I was 22.
āSo, are you going to the reunion?,ā Kathleen asks, effervescently as she does. āI think I have to, seeing as I was professoring there this last term. If I can cobble the funds together; definitely,ā I say, and we commence to listing all of our old classmates who we should pester to be there. āDo you think Dan Rauter would come?,ā zips Kathleen. āIām not sure. Iād love to see him. Just the whole gang. That was one of the best things about being back at Wheaton, being able to see so many people who I hadnāt in so long. It was crazy. Yes, I really need to be there,ā I say. Declarations are made, and names dropped. Itās so good. So bizarre. It was crazy to see so many people over the Spring term, slipping in from a faded memory to LIVE, flesh and blood reality, just like sitting here at Kathleen & Bennyās dinner table.
The house is bustling with activity as Kathleen and the kids are bolting out the door to make it to the Episcopal church. Benny and I are engrossed in a light theological conversation, and he asks Kathy to save him a seat as he will catch up soon. Benny has already been to one early morning service this morning, a Catholic mass, and he is explaining to me his slow conversion to Catholicism.
Unbeknownst to me, Benny had grown up in the Evangelical Free Church (a merger of the Norwegian and Swedish Free Churches in America from 1950), just as I had. It turns out we were both at the same Youth National Conference in Denver in 1988. āDid you know Big John?,ā he asks. āWow....thereās someone who I havenāt thought of in decades. Yeah, I even drew a cartoon picture of him,ā I confirmed. Neither of us knew much of who Big John was or where he came from, but he was definitely memorable; a man in his 50ās or 60ās, who must have been on the spectrum. Who or which group was he connected with? If it raised any eyebrows at the time, I didnāt hear of it, nor did I hear anything ever happening. Today, I donāt think his presence would be acceptable, just cause, well, you know. But again, it didnāt cross my mind then and there was nothing untoward that happened to my knowledge.
Going to the National Conference was the hilt of summers for me back in high school; 2500 teenagers converging in one place for a week. Half of those were girls, and my hormones were racing around like atoms in the particle accelarator at FermiLab. It was a perfect stage on which to try out all my extroverted show off tricks; breakdancing, skateboarding, or just being able to make people laugh. It was heaven, and the fact that all of these kids were coming from a similar place in the church community meant that I didnāt have to feel awkward or edgy about being a pastorās kid. And I remember, there was this one person at this very National Conference in Denver who left a massive and lasting impact on me, one which solidified the course Iāve been on to this day. His name was Fred.
Fred was a part of the youth group that came down from Rochester, Minnesota, and, in my opinion, that group was THE coolest bunch of kids Iād ever met in person. They were punk and New Wave, and while I had dabbled in the style a bit, this was the first time I had ever been around people actually like that. I mean, I had seen that style in John Hughes films and on MTV, but never in real life. Where we came from on the Eastside of Des Moines, it was all Classic Rock (when it was just known as Rock); feathered hair, Van Halen, combs in back pockets, and muscle cars. These kids from Rochester were all laid back skaters. There were so many firsts I witnessed coming from that group. I just wanted to hang with them. And in right there in the middle of all of them was this guy Fred.
The thing about Fred that blew me away was that he was plain, and at least physically, NOT cool, but every one of the other cooler-than-Alaska kids deferred to him with respect. Fred was fairly overweight, which where I came from was an instant social death sentence, but if it was something that he ever felt insecure about, it didnāt show. No, he was solid, sitting in their midst like a Buddha, normal as could be; the sun in a solar system set-up. And I thought....if this guy, who by all appearances should be a cast aside (in my limited, teenaged prejudiced opinion), is able to just be, cool with himself as he is and command the respect he does...then...why should I ever give a second thought to what other people think about me? And that set a tone for me, going forward. My early leanings toward non-conformity were absolutely crystalized meeting Fred. I think I may have written him once after that conference, but there was never a correspondence kept up. I donāt even remember his last name, but I do remember the impact he had on me. Thank you, Fred.
So, Benny comes out of the same soil that I did, which is just wild to me. Wilder still, is that his train has switched tracks toward Catholicism. As he explains it to me, it all comes down to doctrine. The Catholic church is less emphasis on oneās individual personal responsibility in attaining and keeping up oneās salvation. Itās already a done deal. Its all in the doctrine and the sacraments , allowing him to just go and worship, without having to strain and stretch to try to receive Godās favor. Itās already been done, he just needs to be present. Kinda like Fred, just being there, content in this space. He makes an appealing argument, and I am very far from being dogmatic about the different flavors of Christendom. āDo you think itās the Protestant appointment to continually fracture into smaller and smaller shards of belief until it stops meaning anything?;ā I ask. How many denominations can there be, each one believing their way and vision is the RIGHT way? Benny says this is part of why he started investigating Catholicism.
I remember back when I was in undergrad at Wheaton, one of the best parts was trying out these different flavors of Christian worship. There was the hippie church, Jesus People (JPUSA), in Chicago. Then there was the generic, big box non-denominational variety, like Wheaton Bible or College Church. And the Presbyterian churches. And the Episcopal churches, like Church of the Resurrection and St. Markās (where I had my first communion with REAL wine, not Welchās Grape Juice). It was a blizzard of experimentation, investigation, and research into the style, views, and formats. Now, at Wheaton, being a college firmly rooted in evangelicalism, going to church was basically expected, which meant that Sunday lunch in the cafeteria was a natural place for assessments on whether or not others had gone to church, based on the clothing people wore. I am more than certain that several stressed out about this to the point where they would dress up for lunch if they hadnāt made it to church. I couldnāt be bothered with that. If there were ever a snide comment like, āWhereād you go to church, Kurt?ā, Iād just say I had spent some time in The Word. Not only did it cut the snark, it was 100% true. I called my bed āThe Wordā, with a big sign on it stating its name. This became a problem for at least one of the underclassmen on my floor when I was an RA, borderline heretical. I do remember, Brendan. š
It is easy for me to listen to Benny describe his journey and thinking. We come out of the same place, and I can understand transformation and maturation far more than I can stagnation and samey-sameness. I live in Sweden now, have been for 16 years. True belief in Jesus, or any deity, is highly out of place and foreign; viewed with eye-narrowing suspicion. While Christianity is solidly a part of Swedenās history and heritage, it has also always been lock and step with the government. For hundreds of years, it was mandatory for the people of Sweden to attend church. The church was in charge of keeping people in line, as well as for the countryās census and population control. It was not optional. Therefore, church in Sweden is not viewed as a place to receive any kind of true belief, but an institutional organism where tradition is upheld; in infant baptism, weddings, and funerals. This underlines my conviction that church and state should always remain separate. Belief should always be a choice, not compusory.
So, I donāt blame Swedes for being narrow-eyed, at all (I half-expect my Swedish friends to be reading this side-eyed, all this church talk, but Iām cool with that. This is my story, this is my song). Moving here was a cultural womp on a multitude of levels, including spiritually. I share this with the Hindus, Jains, Buddhists, Muslims, Jews and anyone else Iāve encountered who has moved here with a spiritual belief system from outside. It is a spiritual desert, with a fixation on the sensory and material here-and-now. Belief is dead wood, relegated to tradition or the sole domain of the sciences. But it is good to know, life still does thrive in the desert (if youāve ever watched David Attenborough), it just looks and behaves differently than, say, a jungle or forest. I have adapted and I feel good about where I am, and I feel good about the people around me. I reject āus vs. themā. Itās just us. If I am viewed as a āthemā, whether itās true or not, so be it.
Benny and I wrap up. I go downstairs to pack, and do a couple āidiot checksā to make sure I am not leaving anything behind. And then weāre out the door, headed to our cars. āBenny! Itās so great to see you. Send me your address. I will send you some Swedish butter knives. Youāll see,ā I bark in parting. And we head out, up the drive and onto the winding roads of Evergreen; Benny to join his family at the Episcopal church, and I, through the soaring cathedral of the Rockies and up to Boulder to see if I can meet up with Jolly Northrup.
I text Jolly... āJolly!ā
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The Switchblade and the Cross
Why did I invert the title of a David Wilkerson book from the 60s? Because that book is a trash fire and I needed those words.
When I was eighteen I wanted to go somewhere nobody knew me. I probably should have joined the Army or started huffing gas in the nearest trailer park. Almost anything would've been more reasonable than what I did. I found Jesus.
I think maybe the world scared me. I think I wanted friends and went to the church because they wanted anyone at all. The thread that led me into the flock began online. I heard music and I liked it. It was local so I checked their page. I saw a showtime and I showed up on time. That's how I was first in line to The Gills' live show to commemorate the release of their first album. I got the very first CD and I walked alone into a dark auditorium alongside many strangers to see a band I knew nothing about. The Gills took the stage smiling. The crowd loved them. I sat quietly in fear of appearing to enjoy music too much in public, but on the inside I was dancing. They were catchy. I thought nothing cool came out of my home town but I was happy to be proven wrong. At the end of the show with the final notes still hanging in the air, the skinny redheaded keyboard player spoke for the first time. His voice was delicate and his manner nervous. He invited anyone who wished to come the next day to worship in the same building. I have a problem with saying "yes." Sometimes I wind up in strange places.
I returned the next morning and stood awkwardly beside the front door waiting for a literal miracle. I stood around a long time having believed church to be something that happened early. It was 7:00 AM and the building still looked secular. An incredibly muscular young man with a flattop parked his truck and walked directly at me grinning from ear to ear. From the moment I met Griffin I trusted him. He simply wanted to be good. He asked if I wanted to help setup and I of course said yes. Griffin asked me a lot of questions. He wanted to know how I found out about Flamingo Road Church. Who I was, what I did, where I was from, where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do, and how had I found God? I had plenty of time to give answers and ask him the same. Griffin and I traded life stories while we errected banners inside, scattered traffic cones outside, arranged about a hundred chairs inside, ran miles of cord to various places, positioned speakers for optimal performance, and anything else to make the show happen. Griffin was from Alabama. He was going to college but would have to leave soon to fulfill his duties to the Army. More than anything he loved Jesus, his country, and his girlfriend Niki. As we worked I constantly had to stop and shake hands with other people pitching in. New people were a hot commodity and I was just as tired from smiling and talking as I was setting up. When it was finally time for the main event the building was packed out. Every seat taken and still more standing. Everyone happy to be there. Griffin deposited me with a tall man bearing a small afro and a very relaxed manner. TC is the most positive person I have ever met. He listened extremely well and never hesitated to offer help or advice. TC just loved being among the living. He introduced me to a conga line of other very attractive people in college and as the lights went dark TC bowed out and headed for the stage. In the dark I found myself sitting front and center between two twenty-sonethings. A well dressed man named Nathan and beautiful short woman named Leah. When the service started I was surprised.
In my experience up to that point, church and the act of worshipping Jesus were deliberately painful things. Church was boring and long because it was supposed to be. Church was quiet save for an old Southerner scolding the seated sinners because it was supposed to be. Songs sung for Jesus were about the wretchedness of the singers and the hope that they might maybe receive forgiveness they didn't deserve. As a child I hated church. I spent my first two years of education in a Christian school and hated that even more. Even at an early age I found the Bible boring, wordy, and contradictory. In Sunday school I refused to color anything because I knew there would be no consequences save perhaps lashes with a switch back at home that I would no doubt earn some other way. At home I would frustrate my family by asking why it was OK to lie to the tax collectors or what the specific requirements were to use the Lord's name. My efforts usually led me to a leather belt. Persistence paid off though. When I was 7 I got to go to public school and I never went to church with my family again. My parents and all my sisters have a sort of mutual love and disinterest in Jesus. They love to sit and sing along but the idea of actually reading the book is just silly. It's HUGE. It doesn't make any SENSE. The nice parts like Heaven and the Ark will always be there to help them sleep without any of the fire, stone, or spears. Their strategy was always to approach me with the assumption that I believed what they believed and disregard anything I said to the contrary. It's no surprise then that to me "Jesus" was not compatible with "fun."
Whenever TC played his guitar for the congregation at Flamingo Road Church you knew that whatever the truth might be TC felt blessed. He was happy. The other people on stage were happy. The skinny redheaded keyboard player was up there laughing with the rest. I remarked to Nathan and Leah that I recognized the keyboard player from The Gills. Nathan simply smirked and said "That's Allan. He's my little brother." When the music stopped a man in his thirties rushed out on stage. He had jeans and boots with a suit jacket and dress shirt. He greeted everyone and thanked them for coming. A quiet dignity came over the room. Pastor Chris spoke for maybe five minutes before introducing the man above him. Everyone please welcome Pastor Troy. Troy wasn't there. He was on a massive television. Troy was in Doral Texas at the OTHER Flamingo Road Church. One of many. Troy was perhaps 40 and had a very high voice to be so large. He also sported jeans, boots, and dress clothes on top. Troy is the focal point and also the weak point of the whole event. His standard sermon is about 40 minutes. Ten minutes intro. 5 minutes quoting fragments of scripture. 10 minutes extrapolating his point from the sacred sentence fragments. 5 minutes of prop comedy. Ten minutes asking for money. It's not life changing. It's not even good at what it's trying to do. It's not a guilt trip either though, not completely. The TV turns off. Chris comes back out. Donation plates. Music. Pavlov would've been proud. As the musicians revived the crowd for a final sing along with capital G, Nathan turned to me and invited me to a Bible study that Tuesday night geared towards people in college. I wasn't in college and in fact had dropped out of high school but Leah would be there and so would Griffin and TC and Allan would if he wasn't busy and of course I said yes. A quarter billion handshakes later it was time to leave and I offered to help put the stuff away that I had set up. Griffin and the others just laughed, they had two more identical services in the next few hours. Somebody from the final group would organize a team to put the stuff away. By 3 PM the building would be secular again. Flamingo Road Church would be locked up and its flock scattered to the winds.
On Tuesday we met at Leah's house because it was very neat and clean with a big living room. She took hosting seriously and usually had snacks available and candles everywhere. I had trouble finding the place and when I got there I was faced with about twenty beautiful people sitting cross-legged on Leah's carpet. Everyone was very happy to be there and greeted me warmly. Most of them I met briefly before but for the very first time I got to shake Allan's hand and tell him I loved his music. Allan was shy brushed off the praise. Over the course of the next year I would spend at least three days a week with these people and the routine became second nature. On Sunday I tried to arrive early to help get the building ready. We jammed out with the band. Thought a little about Jesus. Talked about money. Jammed out again. Every week it seemed we stuck around longer and longer just to talk. On Tuesday we met up for Bible study. Nathan was the College Minister as it turns out, so it was his job to pick talking points for us that went with the church's theme that week. He also presided over all discussion, having had the most Christian Theology classes. Usually Nathan would ask a question and ask everyone to turn to some page or other. Then we would have an open discussion about the ideas. Everyone shined in their own way. Griffin was earnest and to the point. Leah was thoughtful and patient. TC was wise beyond his years. Sarah (a social worker) had so much real life experience to lend to her ideas. Russell had a knack for explaining complex ideas with clever metaphors. Ashley made everyone laugh and always told the truth even when it hurt. Ryan was open and strong. Allan was humble under all circumstances. Niki was hard working and well traveled. Sarah (bank teller) was quiet but sharp. I did what I do, poke holes in things, happy to be the black sheep which placed me at odds with Nathan who had the job of being smartest guy in the room. Nathan might have us watch a video and then reiterate the video's point saying something like "Prayer is not a conversation with God, but living your life in tune with God." I said that reminded me a lot of a lesson from Zen bhuddism in which meditation is not a state of mind but a state of being. Nathan did not like this. Nor did he like it when I compared and contrasted creation myths from Norse and Egyptian mythology with the Garden of Eden. He bit his tongue when I quoted the Book of Enoch but riled at me for knowing a few sentences from the Quran. Nathan made it clear that my ideas were born out of a lack of understanding scripture. In all categories the Bible was superior and unique, and Nathan was its one true interpretor. Usually after our talks the guys and gals would split up. The women would go to Leah's room and shut the door, what went on in there I cannot imagine. Mostly the men talked about masturbating and how ashamed they were. One by one the men would be asked to say anything they'd been struggling with. Griffin was struggling with waiting until marriage to be intimate with Niki, which resulted in his struggle not to masturbate. Russell broke out into tears and admitted that he had struggled with pornography and had gone to great lengths to keep himself from it. The other men had similar stories. When it was my turn to speak I told the truth. I felt like I masturbated a perfectly respectable amount and couldn't see how Jesus could blame me so I didn't feel the least bit guilty. What I struggled with was faith itself. Not the existence of a Sky King but the bizarre nature and maddening decisions of that creature if it did exist. I struggled with God's insanity and how I was expected to react to it. As it turns out, masturbation is the right answer, and my struggle was met with awkward silence. Nathan basically told me that God worked in mysterious ways and to let Jesus into my heart. Russell said that God's plan was like a grand painting, but I was trying to view it through a microscope, so of course some parts seemed bad. I kept going but my struggle went with me.
Then one day Rachel was there. Rachel was new in town. She took on the responsibility of watching everybody's kids during the worship services. She was great with children and was studying to be a teacher. Rachel was outspoken and boiling over with cheer. She was always coming up with activities for the kids. Rachel worked constantly and usually did so while singing and dancing. She talked just much with her hands as her words. We started doing everything together. Kids stress me out but every Sunday I found myself watching her watch the kids and occasionally moving something heavy or making sure nobody died while she left the room. I left all the discipline to Rachel because kids just obeyed her without question. She spoke their language. She watched their TV shows. She tried to convince me to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender. I tried to convince her to read Crime and Punishment. We made a good team because Rachel was like a human bubble bath and I was a tar pit. Rachel used to run up behind me and almost throw me to the ground with her arms wrapped around me. We watched the Winter Olympics with some other people from the Bible study group. Shaun White demolished the competition. Rachel fell asleep with her head on my shoulder.
I still felt like an outsider. Like the black sheep, but Rachel made me feel like that would go away with time. On the day before her birthday Rachel invited me to her place for dinner. I helped her set up for the party and I showed her how to start a fire. She made dinner. While we were eating Rachel casually mentioned her boyfriend in South Florida would be taking a break from his motorcycle repair classes to visit her. Something inside me went out like a candle. I pretended not to be surprised and finished dinner with my pride intact. She hugs me goodbye and she always hugged firm.
The next thing I know I'm driving down the highway and it's dark and rainy and it's so damn cold. Griffin was off to the Middle East. Russell moved away for work. Ryan moved away for school. Leah was on a missionary trip. Allan quit The Gills because Nathan told him he could use his music to serve God. Sarah was graduating and wouldn't have time for the college Bible study after. TC had to move away with his younger sister because they had no parents left. Nathan was promoted to assistant Pastor and passed his old position on to an even bigger know it all. Rachel had a boyfriend in South Florida going to school to fix motorcycles. How did I not know that? Just as suddenly as they'd come I had no one. I wondered how I got there in the first place. Wasn't I running away from know it all guys like Nathan and motorcycle boyfriends from a long time ago? It wasn't so much the motorcycle but the school that bugged me. Something about the structural approach being imposed on something inherently rebellious. Something about the prepackaged clean campus somewhere devoid of one Hell's Angel or Outlaw. It was on hollow thoughts like this that my mind dwelled when something ran out into the road. It was so dark and so wet I didn't stop in time. One almighty shudder and the squealing of my brakes. I rushed out into the downpoor. My head lights clearly illuminated a whimpering bloody coyote. It couldn't walk. It could hardly breathe. I was hours from a wildlife sanctuary. It was 2 AM. I was almost out of gas. I had a pocket knife because back then I always did. I knew I had a choice. Pull the coyote off the road and move on or help it cross over. Nathan said animals didn't have souls. I said they did and some men didn't. In the end I couldn't make the choice. I just knelt there blocking the desolate road in the middle of a frigid flash flood, running my hand across the beast's fur until he breathed no more. The car ran out of gas long before. I got them both out of the road. I walked a couple miles to the nearest gas station shivering the whole way. I never went back to church. No one ever called. I know what I did to deserve it. God damn it I know. But what the hell did the coyote do to deserve me?
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This is a repost from my rant forum on my site and since I'm interested only in it being read, rather than advertising or shilling it out for hits, I'm going to just repost it here. Before I do let me give you a quick introduction.
I finally registered on the SA forums a week or so ago having been a loyal reader for a couple of years. I don't like the new design of the site, I want to kill it with fire, I liked my good-old Web1.0 scrolly site, give it back please.
I'm posting this here because you lot are smart, and as such, I have no issues with you telling me that you think I'm wrong with this pseudo-rant. This may also be preaching to the choir a bit and for that I sincerely apologize. I hope at least you get some enjoyment out of this. If you're one of those fellows who likes to Digg, the article also has a Digg page, do with it as you see fit - http://digg.com/general_sciences/At...you_intelligent
With that said and done, here goes.
"It's novello time, and it's about religion, so unless you're ready to deal with some views you may not agree with, switch off now. In the words of Illidan "You are not prepared".
Let's get this out here right now. I'm a 23 year old law graduate with an IQ of 155. My political beliefs are liberal and leftist, I listen to Metal and I enjoy violent movies, books and videogames, and I've been a Christian since birth. Baptised, confirmed of my own free will, son of a priest (who are pretty notorious for rebelling against their father's religious beliefs just for the sake of it). I'm part of the Anglican Church of England, which is pretty much the result of Henry the 8th getting pissed off with the catholics not allowing him to divorce his wife(s). We're the state religion of the UK, if you could even say the UK has one, we're pretty liberal about most things, women priests, gay priests, homosexuals in general, sex before marriage, contraception, we take the modern, reasonable way of looking at all of them. At the end of the day, the Bible taught us about forgiveness and being excellent to one another. It had a bit of a round-about way of doing it but what do you expect for a 2000 year old book written entirely by clerical males? It's gonna be a bit out of date, you've gotta read it in context.
I have no problems with anyone's beliefs. Be whatever you want, as long as you believe (or don't believe) for a good reason. But here's what I really don't like, trend-atheism/trend-theism (also referred to as e-atheism, since it seems to be most prevelant in the domain of anonymous blogspammers and Digg-users).
In my late teens, I spent a long time thinking. Yeah, just sitting around and thinking, thinking about faith. Thinking about what it is that I believe in. Rationalizing the various conflicts and contradictions that faith presents us with, looking at the viewpoints of other faiths, or those with no faith at all, taking into account the new things we discover every day and factoring in the influence of science. Some people would claim that, if I had indeed done that, I'd have come to the conclusion, as an intellectual, rational thinker, that God does not exist. They would of course, be wrong.
My beliefs center around several factors. Firstly, it is important for us as human-beings to realize our own limits, and the limits of our understanding. Centuries ago we believed the world was flat. "The Bible told us so!", would be the first cry. Wrong, it really didn't. In the Old Testament, Job 26:7 explains that the earth is suspended in space, the obvious comparison being with the spherical sun and moon. The Old Testament, you remember that one? The one with the fiery bushes, the pillar's of salt, the cool plagues and such? Even that managed to get it right. There's a few more references as well to the 'round' earth (and before you say anything, flat is not a shape, it could have been a flat octagon for all they knew) but I'm not going to go into that yet. We've had computers for less than a century, powered flight for just over a century and of course our amazing horseless carriages. Genetics, electricity, nuclear-bombs, toaster-strudel, the world is in the palm of our hands! And it didn't take us too long did it?
Reality-check, we're still primitives. In the great scheme of things this technology is a mere blip on the historical radar. We've got an awful long way to go before we're able to dissect and understand the mysteries of the universe. We haven't even put a man on Mars yet, let alone left our solar system to find out what exactly is out there. How can it be that we have suddenly, so recently, become so arrogant as to believe we know more than we really do? The Laws of Science are written by man, based on our understanding of how things work. They are theories that, while prove true today, may be debunked by another amazing discovery tomorrow. Which leads onto my next point.
Name this quote "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic". Arthur C Clarke, physicist and author, smart fellow. It also hilights the point I'm making. Our understanding of the universe is peerless only amongst ourselves. We are not as smart as we think we are. Just as fire wowed the neanderthals, what would it take to wow us? What would make our jaws drop and our minds boggle? Well, any sufficiently advanced technology of course. And what is technology after-all? Man-made machines. The concept of technology is a human concept, a concept that may, in other parts of the universe, not even exist, replaced by something even more advanced than that, so advanced that we cannot comprehend it. Not surprising really as we mammals only use 10% of our brains.
So where am I going with this? Simple really, take yourself off of your high-horse, you, and the human race, is not as smart as it thinks it is. Now, open your mind a little, and let's explore some possibilities.
The definition of a God. Let us turn to the good book.
Wikipedia.
"God most commonly refers to the deity worshipped by followers of monotheistic and monolatrist religions, whom they believe to be the creator and ruler of the universe. Theologians have ascribed a variety of attributes to the various conceptions of God. The most common among these include omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresence, perfect goodness, divine simplicity, and eternal and necessary existence. God has also been conceived as being incorporeal, a personal being, the source of all moral obligation, and the "greatest conceivable existent"
Hmm, a tall order one might think. Could such a being exist? Some argue that logically, he could not, however, there is very little logic in denying the possibility that a being or beings of such power and advancement exist that they could indeed, be considered 'God' within our definition. That's not to say that God is a small green alien with a flying saucer and a phaser though that would give some of the overzealous fundamentalists something to sweat over, much to our amusement. But what is this God? A creator? Sure, we create. We create technology, we're getting to the stage of being able to create life in one form or another, using the basic building blocks of nature. Could it not be surmised therefore that it is entirely within the realms of possibility that someone or something created those building blocks? Like a programmer creates a new program, someone must have also created the coding language in which he created it. We scramble for answers. We come up with theories. Some believe in the beginning there was nothing, which exploded. Some believe a man in the sky created it everything in 6 days and then mooched around on the 7th. Which is valid?
Neither, and both. They attempt to apply meaning to something where meaning may, or may not exist. Creationism and the Big Bang are in that sense, as bad as each other. They are both merely attempts for us to explain the unexplainable. The Big Bang contradicts our laws of physics (something most catalyse an explosion, therefore something must have been there in the first place, where did that come from, at which point your brain melts). The Creation Story contradicts our laws of physics (Same reasons, who created God after all?). Everything we've so far managed to come up with, from the sublime to the ridiculous, the complex to the simplistic, it's an exercise in desperate straw-clutching. At the end of the day, we don't know jack.
And that's ok. Someone once said that the journey matters more than the destination, it's not the winning, it's the taking part, at least ya tried sport. These explanations of where it all comes from, be they ancient or modern all boil down to the same need. To know. Who'd have thunk it, we've got brains for a reason, and they rather like being used. Those neurons like to be fired, the little grey matter likes a little exercise every once in a while. Just as the Creation Story was a way to explain an unexplainable concept, so is the Big Bang theory. If one were to compare the human mind to a computer, try feeding the Big Bang theory to the medieval man, and it's like trying to shove Bioshock into a Commodore Vic20. Good luck. And what will our children's children's children's grandchildren's children think of our Big Bang theory? My money's on exactly the same thing.
So what am I trying to tell you, stop asking questions, stop looking for answers and just believe whatever the hell suits ya? Absolutely not. Believe whatever suits you, but question it, never stop thinking, never stop asking or learning. In this day and age it seems people are way too willing to believe, or not believe. Belief, or non-belief should be a life-long arduous process and it should end involuntarily, when you fall over dead. Someone (there's a lot of talkative someone's aren't there?) once said 'Never stop believing', I say, "Never stop asking yourself what you believe, and why".
It's time to criticize, so let me load port and starboard cannon and fire a volley at both atheists and theists alike. Believing, or not believing, does not make you intelligent. Smart people do not come to a conclusion on the basis of insubstantial evidence. Smart people do not mindlessly attack other people's beliefs just because they don't conform to their own. Smart people do not assume that their own rigid, poorly formed definitions of logic and faith, reason and belief are mutually exclusive and that if one exists, the other cannot. Smart people think outside the box, not pick fights with those poor souls trapped in it.
What makes you intelligent, is knowing why you believe what you believe. Knowing that you are but one mind, and knowing that at any time you could be proven wrong, only for that person to be proven wrong ad infinitum as we as a race advance.
I suppose you're waiting for my personal beliefs, waiting for this to be some kind of sermon, preaching why my God is better than your God, or non-God. You'll be waiting a long time, because it's not coming. My personal beliefs are just that, personal, they're mine, they belong to me. You cannot take them away from me, only I can. What I can give you though, are my opinions.
Right now shots are being fired. They're not physical shots, they're bullets and shells of ignorance and bigottry. And it's no one-sided battle let me tell you that much. Factionalized camps everywhere you can imagine. Atheists, Theists, Satanists, Christians, Republicans, Democrats, Capitalists, Communists, every group you can imagine, all shouting 'Your God/Non-God sucks, mine is better!'. These days, the internet's become their battleground. So much for sharing knowledge, we're sharing ignorance.
The bigottry and the condemnation has to stop. The sad thing is, I'm having to condemn the condemners. Isn't it lowsy how you generally have to be a hypocrite in order to make a point these days? Food for thought. We can look at the extremes and see the simplistic, secular vs sacred, trend-atheists vs fundamentalist evangelical christians, the most common stereotypes. But in reality, it's so much more complicated than that. It's this stereotyping and narrow-minded attitude that prevents us as a race from achieving the greatness we can. I could make as many decrees as I wanted till I was blue in the face, and I'm going to just to let off a little steam mind you,
"Trend-atheist Digg users, shove your agendas where the sun don't shine, refusing the possibility of a supreme-being does not make you a genius or a radical thinker, it makes you a bloody sheep hiding behind a cloak of anonymity"
"Evangelical Fundamentalist morons, get your overly simplistic, judgmental, dogmatic Crayola God out of my face, you have about as much understanding of the universe as a wet lettuce. That does not make you holy, pure, or guaranteed a private booth at the big game in the sky, it makes you a bloody sheep hiding behind a cloak of propaganda that you only believe because you're told to"
Wow, that feels good, I can understand why you internet-bound condemners like it so much. Gives you that warm, fuzzy feeling doesn't it? What, I'm not allowed to indulge in such a guilty pleasure every once in a while? Play fair Wink
Where's my conclusion? Hell if I know. Did you have the mistaken impression this was some carefully constructed plea for tolerance? Absolutely not, it's an angry slap in the face to my peers. Wake the hell up and use your brain, because my God/Non-god/Explosion/Man-in-the-sky/Vic20 gave you it for a reason.
TB.
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Why it is so important now to work on overcoming our pride
The fact that the humanity is mired in sin is clear to everyone. However, according to religious tradition, we are used to living our lives knowing that we have sinned, that we will go to church and be forgiven our sins, and then go onto sin again. This naive view has taken root in our minds for the last 2000 years. But it is a mistaken view.
Sin is the wrong position to take. Since no matter how many sins are forgiven in church, if you do not change, the number of sins will only increase, merging in one direction, and the result will be what Christ referred to as āthe love of most growing cold as a result of this multiplication of wickednessā.
It seems not such a big deal when love grows cold. But in fact it is love that gives us life, the energy for the future, the opportunity to have descendants.
When love leaves the upper layers of the soul, it doesnāt look good ā a person becomes cruel, unscrupulous, greedy. But he still lives.
But when love goes out of the heart- then the person simply canāt function. And his children can't function too. Pride closes a personās path to God. This is why humanityās treatment begins with treating pride. What are the dangers of pride? Unfortunately, we are again limited by the common religious stereotypes that distort reality. Why? We understand this by looking at how pride is explained in religious tradition. The angel becomes the devil, and at present the devil has influence on a huge number of people. The devil is all-powerful; and the devil does whatever he wants. He has enormous energy. That is energy, intelligence, ingenuity. And it turns out that pride is accompanied by cunning, intelligence, energy and strength.
That is, the devil when filled with pride, not only does not become weaker, but in todayās view he has only become stronger, and it can be said that the devil rules the world. And every person has an image that pride is power. Pride is cunning, intelligence and so on.
This appears to be the case at first. The fact is that love for God and moral behavior requires a lot of energy. When a person renounces love and morality, there is a flash of energy at first. He feels much more intelligent and more cunning. However, without love there is no future. Therefore, any person who has embarked on the path of the devil loses the future. He, like a drug addict, will at first feel euphoria, he will feel all-powerful but then he will become addicted and weak and will eventually die.
No wonder the Old Testament says Ā«for the evil man, he has no future; the lamp of the wicked will be extinguishedā. The evil person is a person who renounced love in order to have money and prosperity. Pride is not just a sin and vice. Pride is illness in the future and death. What happens to a person who is filled with pride inside?
The fact is that in order to survive we need to develop. What is development? Development is destruction and stability at the same time. Without destruction the development is not possible. All that does not develop, eventually dies. So, in order to survive while changes take place, in order for development to be not just destruction but also creation, we need love.
Love gives the stability which allows us to survive in any circumstances.
What does a man full of pride look like? He has not only a sense of superiority, of irritability, or despair when he suffers failure.
A man with increased pride is not able to change. Why do people with increased pride insist on being right? Because to admit that they are wrong is on a par to committing suicide.
The question is: If I am not right ā I need to change. But a proud person is not able to change. This is why he tries to subordinate everyone else and be on top.
And this inability to change leads to the most serious illnesses. Priests might tell us that with pride itās possible to have strength and so on. In my practice I have repeatedly seen the same thing ā a person with increased pride has children with serious illnesses, mental disabilities, incurable illnesses and a family line dying out.
It is the inability and unwillingness to change that leads to the person becoming non-viable. Imagine that steam goes into a steam boiler but the lid is closed and the steam does not come out. What's going to happen? There is going to be an explosion.
Everyone of us changes a little every day. We need to constantly adapt to the world to develop. When a person does not want to adapt, he accumulates internal tendencies to change and then there will be a one-time change.
What happens when civilization loses love for God? We can see this from what is happening now in Europe, in the West: a mass renunciation of Christianity, a renunciation of morality. Ā So if a large group of people renounces Love, they become unable to change internally. On the surface it might look like progress, or innovation but internally the person is unable to change.
Nature then switches on natural mechanisms so the person has to change. What mechanisms are we talking about? This has long been predicted in the Bible: āthere will be great earthquakes, and in various places famines and pestilenceā. This is what we are currently witnessing. A tenfold increase in the number of earthquakes. Pandemics are increasingly becoming more serious.
Now most importantly as I said before a man with increased pride cannot accept the Divine will. That is, he cannot accept lifeās adversity. Ā Any change of fate for him is an insurmountable stress. A person with increased pride worships a prosperous destiny. Ā What is the worship of a prosperous destiny?
Christ said, āYou can't serve God and mammonā. Why? This means that a person must have one goal: either to serve God or something or someone else. So what can a person aim for if he forgets about God? His only goal is himself, his instincts and desires. One of the main instincts is the instinct of self-preservation, requiring us to be protected, and this requires us to aim for prosperity in order to survive. This instinct of self-preservation is very important. But when the instinct of self-preservation comes first before everything, when a person is prepared to kill and steal, when he is jealous and greedy ā this leads nowhere. So a person who forgets about Love is destined to become a murderer or seriously ill.
Who is mammon? Mammon is not the god of money. Ā Mammon is the god of happiness and prosperity. Meaning a person can pray to God or pray for his prosperity. I think you understand what todayās humanity prays for. It prays for money, stability, prosperity and this is indeed worshiping the mammon.
How can humanity be saved? This is very simple. It requires adversity. The planet needs to be destabilized by illness, earthquakes and natural disasters. Then people will remember about their soul, they will stop worshiping their prosperity and will remember God.
Today's virus leads to lung damage. So todayās virus, in fact, seriously challenges our worship of prosperity. I asked which infections cause the most deaths. I found very interesting statistics. It turns out that tuberculosis causes the most deaths from infection on the planet. Tuberculosis is associated with problems with the lungs. By the way, a doctor I know told me that it is not advisable to give a diagnosis of tuberculosis or even pneumonia. A different diagnosis is given as there are too many patients with tuberculosis. What does it mean? In fact there is a pandemic of tuberculosis.
This means that the world is changing but we are not accepting these changes. We donāt want to change. We donāt accept the Divine Will. Non-acceptance of the Divine Will leads to a programme of self-destruction. The more we donāt accept the Divine Will, the more we are not happy with our fate, the quicker the programme of self-destruction will activate. This programme depletes us of energy. The depletion of energy causes illnesses, misfortunes, and if the programme is very intense, then not just illnesses and misfortunes but everything around us starts to collapse.
I said many times before that earthquakes are the result of humanityās energy. Earthquakes happen when a group of people develop a programme of self-liquidation.
So what do we need to do?
First of all we need to turn to God, remember the prayer āOur Fatherā, where Christ first of all talks about theacceptance of Godās Will, where there is an understanding that God gives us everything: Ā life, food, health, happiness.
Therefore without love for God, without accepting His Will, without humility, we will not receive life energy, we wonāt be able to accept the changes which are approaching and we will be unable to adapt.
This is why it is very important at the present time to retain love in our souls. And to increase it. And love is not only mercy and unity. Love is not only joy.
Love in the first place is a sense of happiness, a sense of Divine Will in everything. A sense of unity, readiness to sacrifice, to help.
It is also joy. Depending on how much we smile, on how much we feel joy, no matter what, on how much we are ready to help each other and make sacrifices and feel we are all united, will depend how much we overcome pride.
https://lazarev-international.com/news/author/1607-why-it-is-so-important-now-to-work-on-overcoming-our-pride/
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Total Surrender
Because we happen to face a New Year, we wonder what is in store for us. Is that this is going to be a great year, or a troublesome one? Am I headline ahead with the potential in my existence, or fall away? Is it is going to be similar to a year ago and the year before?
I believe that it is a pivotal year for Ignite Christian Church, along with each of you personally. I used to be recently criticised by way of a visitor for preaching excessively on righteousness, but I make no apology for this. I'm not here to use games or tickle ears, I'm here to encourage but additionally to challenge you. My vision simpler for you isn't to percieve you cruise through life and merely exist, rather it would be to talk to you thrive in their particular lives of God and also to inspire you and your loved ones in 2018 to get everything God has destined you to be.
I have sought the Lord posing for a piano key verse for in 2012, and I feel He has given us
Matthew 5:16 (ESV Strong's)
At the same time, let your light shine before others, so which these may see your good works and give glory to your current Father who is in heaven.
In 2018, Ignite Church is the light on a hill, so we are to shine boldly and brightly in this dark world. Another verse our leadership have received many times is this designā¦
Isaiah 43:18-19 (ESV Strong's)
"Remember not the former things, nor take into cosideration the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you don't perceive it?
I are going to make a way in the woods and rivers within the desert.
So it's time to stop thinking back, however good, however tough, and start looking ahead to precisely what the Lord has destined for our benefit!
Just as we face this New Year, what can be a help Ignite and also in us by ourselves?
GETTING INTIMATE WITH GOD
One of our greatest needs as people at large is usually to are aware that we're loved. Each one of us here must feel certain, deep down in our hearts, that someone loves us, cares on our behalf, and has our happiness at heart.
The need to be loved is at the centre of most human relationships. Men and women getting married, having families, having affairs, giving presents at Christmas, mentioning children, playing sport, joining clubs, joining Church, signing up to RSVPā¦ all of us have want to be loved using some way. Any of course your us need to find out that somebody loves us.
That is how God designed us. He wants us to be aware that He loves each and every one most of us generated a passionate intensity too deep for words.
Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV Strong's)
The Lord your God is within your midst, a mighty one which will save; he will rejoice over you on gladness; he'll quiet you by his love; he'll exult over you with loud singing.
God created mortals with fellowship take into account-first with Himself and then with others. But we cannot fully love one another until we now have ourselves experienced the true love of God. We experience His love when we willingly surrender to His call it really does not have to be our Saviour, Lord, and Friend.
2018 is what happen in in order to get intimate with God. It's the year to totally surrender to Him!
ARE YOU AS SPIRITUALLY DEAF?
The fact is, many people cannot hear God with any measure of accuracy or confidence. A lot of Christians say, "God told me this or that," but how may they know? Fairly often Christians preface what is definitely their opinion with the term, "God told meā¦" as they be aware that we are capable of having no come again whether or not this were true. That's hardly God, that's often manipulation!
Of anyone else who say, "God told me to let you know this" during the last year, barely some would genuinely be God. Many good people tell me that they are never sure in case the Lord is chatting with them, if at all.
So this season, how can you foster an attitude and a life-style that allows the Lord to speak to you intimately as He promised He will? Must you may be a crazy nutcase to listen to God, and it is the one other alternative because spiritually deaf for being post?
After all not! Hearing God ought to be a natural part of each Christian's relationship using the Lord. You shouldn't be weird or excessive strange to have to hear God, and my experience is that many of the odd individuals are not likely hearing God clearly anyway.
But neither do you have to be spiritually hard of hearing. Religious people in church, even around the time of Jesus' day, never had an incredible track record of listening to God, that why Jesus quoted Isaiah in saying,
Matthew 13:14-15 (ESV Strong's)
Indeed, in their case the prophecy of Isaiah is fulfilled that claims: "ā"You'll indeed hear but never understand, and you will indeed see but rarely perceive." To get this people's heart has grown dull, and having their ears they'll barely hear, and their eyes they've closed, lest they should see having their eyes and hear with their ears and understand having their heart and switch, and I might heal them.'
Now, I want to provide you with one word that can transform your year. One word that may open your eyes to what God wants you to check out, one word that may open your spiritual ears to listen to Him. One word that, if you actually embraced it and utilized it, it usually takes the life span that you simply live right now and morph it straight into the life you've desire, the powerful, Spirit filled life your Father has destined you to stay atā¦
THE WORD IS SURRENDER
Charles Stanley writes, "Our intimacy with God determines the impact of our lives."
Surrender is defined as, "To yield to the facility, control or possession of another." (Miriam Webster's Dictionary)
Romans 12:1 (ESV Strong's)
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, via the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a job sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.
The Greek word for present is paristemi which suggests to yield or surrender.
When I think of surrender, I always think of soldiers having their hands above their heads, yielding to the ability of their total conquerors. Now, each time a soldier surrenders there may be much fear. They have been fighting contrary to the enemy, killing and destroying, subsequently to yield or surrender means they place their heart into their enemy's control, with zero guarantees of survival or humane treatment. They take a chance, and their heart hangs within the balance.
Though not so when we surrender to Christ. We yield to Christ with the knowledge that He won't ever leave nor forsake us.
Psalms 9:10 (ESV Strong's)
And people who understand your name put their trust in you, quicker for you, O Lord, haven't forsaken those that seek you.
There are at least three reasons God seeks our surrender:
1. GOD DESIRES OUR FELLOWSHIP
God loves us and desires our fellowship and worship. If we hold something back from God, when we refuse to grasp to Him by surrendering our lives to Him, we are unable to know Him completely or fully experience His love.
James 4:7-8 (ESV Strong's)
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he'll draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Once we surrender to Him, once we yield our lives to Him, we're asked each one of Him. Once we decide to move close to the Lord, once we start to seek Him with the heart, He moves in close proximity to us.
2. GOD DESIRES OUR SERVICE
God wants our service for Him to be effective and fruitful.
The better we all know and love Jesus, the more practical our service will be, and the greater amount of He turns into our ministry. The closer we draw to God, the more impact our lives will have. The better energetically we nurture our relationship when using the Lord, the more the great mark we will leave behind.
Colossians 3:23-24 (ESV Strong's)
Whatever you do, work heartily, when it comes to Lord and never for man, that a little distance from Lord you'll take advantage of the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
Surrendering to God means more practical service, and this effect is what What i m saying is by surrendering to God grows your ministry.
3. GOD DESIRES TO BLESS US
God waits for the liberty to bless us.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 (ESV Strong's)
For I have knowledge of the plans I actually have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. You then will call upon me and are available and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all of your heart.
Note verse 13, seeking God with all your heart. This is surrendering to Him.
God is omnipotent, He's all powerful and might do anything, but He won't violate His own principles. He draws us to Himself so we are able to experience His love and forgiveness. He asks for our willing surrender in order that He may give us one of the best blessings He has got to offer.
We are sometimes like a toddler watching TV. Their parent comes and needs to bring them to be able to the zoo, however they resist since they're content just watching TV, ignorant of the wonderful experience awaiting them!
DON'T JOIN THE RESISTANCE
It is in your interests to submit to God today at the start of in 2012! However i resist, don't we? What is the reason that we wish to join the resistance instead of surrendering to a peron whose expressed desire will be to bless us not to harm us?
In all the blessings God has clearly take into consideration for us, why does anyone resist surrendering to God?
1. PRIDE
Pride is the key reason most people resist surrender.
I recall Kira learning to tie her shoelaces, saying, "I complete it mine self" and forcing us all late!
People think they know better than God and they can handle their lives better than He can, in order that they keep Him at a distance. Which is ironic, offered the mess most of our lives finally end up in, isn't it?
Proverbs 18:12 (ESV Strong's)
Before destruction a person's heart is haughty (prideful), but humility happens before honor.
God wants us to put our trust in him.
We insult God when we trust directly to resources, or the rest, to provide us through our problems. When we surrender our lives to God, we become his own chosen ones. He promises to listen to us when we call over to him.
2. FEAR
Others do not surrender as they fear what God does (or possibly not do) for them. They say that if they give God control, He'll make them do precisely what will make them most miserable.
Many apparently can trust God to give them heaven, but cannot trust Him enough to give them heaven the world over in a lifetime of fulfilment and joy.
Fear no matter what the Lord is a good thing. Fear of the long run is not. Can your trust in God exceed your fear money for hard times?
Proverbs 29:25 (ESV Strong's)
The fear of person lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.
We regularly treat God as a man, thinking He is over to punish us, or can make us suffer, or usually make us do things we hate just to show us who's boss. God is just not like that, so stop tarring Him with the same brush as you may possibly a frontrunner, pastor or politician.
John 14:27 (ESV Strong's)
Peace I leave together with you; my peace I share with you. Less in the country gives do I offer to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
3. UNBELIEF
Still others refuse to submit to Christ as they believe Satan's lie, which tells them that God is judgmental and can punish them for their mistakes.
Jesus says this about Satanā¦
John 8:44 (ESV Strong's)
He has been a murderer right from the start, and it does not stand in the truth, since there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks from his own character, for he's a liar and the daddy of lies.
Don't let your pride, fear or unbelief stop you from fully surrendering besides the Lord
IT'S TIME TO SURRENDER
God always has our greatest in mind. He will refuse us no good thing once we gladly submit to His will. He tells us, "āI know the plans that I actually have quicker for you,' declares the Lord, āplans for welfare and not for calamity to offer an additional plus a hope"' (Jeremiah 29:11).
Romans 8:31-32 (ESV Strong's)
If God is for those, who will be against us? He who didn't spare his own Son but gave him up for those all, how will he not also with him graciously give to us things?
After we fully surrender to Him, He will withhold no good thing. After all, we will still face trials of many kinds, but He'll graciously help us triumph over them, and use the trials to build character and wisdom into our lives.
It is not a bad idea to to surrender to God, because once we do, we grow close to Him-which is His highest priority on our behalf-therefore we begin to have an impact on this world.
And right now, at the start no matter the New Year which happens to be the best time to fully {https://ignitechurch.org.au/total-surrender/ to Him and permit Him to fulfil our destiny!
I must do this every day. I constantly have to completely surrender my existence to Christ. In my existence I even have trusted a surprisingly large number of things, from my own talents and abilities to my profession to financial advisors.
When I fully surrender to Christ, when I fully trust Him for our provision, my future, my reputation and my blessings, that at this moment He can work in my behalf. Whatever I must face, if I can face them Jesus, I am going to content!
IT'S TIME TO REALIGN
Could this be the cry of a persons heart? Do you wish to understand the Savior and reside in the fullness of His blessing each day? You can. David wrote,
Psalms 34:10 (ESV Strong's)
Children lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
Young lions try their best, but they can also be young, strong and headstrong. This season, are you presently resolved to more than needed, try harder, do your best frequently, or are you ready to surrender and provides it all to Jesus?
When you boarded go away to Sydney from your local airport, and the pilot was just 1 degree as well as the east off, you'd land 17 km up to sea! A particularly good way the pilot can cause that enable you to arrive at your destination would be to constantly realign the direction whatever the plane.
At the start of this season, we need realignment. We constantly need realignment. We must be totally surrendering daily to God, and we can start out right now.
In case you have drifted in the devotion to the Savior a year ago and feel as even when you are grow more distant every day in the relationship with Him, then pray that He will draw you near once more. He knows your weaknesses, if you will tell Him that you really want Him to overcome your life, He will come to you within the mighty way and bring hope and light to your circumstances, it doesn t matter how dark and hopeless it may feelā¦
Isaiah 55:6-7 (ESV Strong's)
"Seek the Lord despite the fact that may be seen; call upon him while one is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him profits the Lord, he can have compassion on him, and then to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
IT'S TIME TO TAKE ACTION
Charles Blondin, the nice French tightrope Walker, became famous in 1860 for walking across 1 / 4 belonging to mile of tightrope stretched 160 feet above Niagara Falls. He performed the feat repeatedly in a variety of death defying ways, including on stilts, on any bicycle and blindfolded. He even carried a little stove and eggs across, and stopped halfway to use an omelet!
Then he took a wheelbarrow along the falls, and asked the huge crowd in the event that they believed he could carry a man in the wheelbarrow across Niagara Falls. They enthusiastically replied, "Yes, you're the greatest tightrope walker in the world."
"Ok!" He replied, "Who wants to get into the wheelbarrow?"
James 2:17-18 (ESV Strong's)
So also faith in isolation, whether or not this does not need works, is dead. But someone will say, "You've faith and I have works." Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.
You've heard me demand total surrender this morning, and you can sit and applaud my fully committed heart. However today, I'm asking you to get involved in the wheelbarrow, I'm asking you to respond by not only listening, not only agreeing, not just thinking or resolving, but by stepping out and doingā¦
William Booth said, "The greatness of a person's power which is the simple way of measuring his surrender."
How great do you wish to be on this coming year? How surrendered are you prepared it certainly doesn't need to be?
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āThe 8 Worst Places To Meet A Guy (The Donāt Believe The Hype Editionā. I am a single woman out in these streets. I hear it all and just about seen it all. There are some places that many swear by as good places to meet men and I just have to refute some of them. Now if you want any man then any place will do but if you want quality...you may want to avoid these places when on the man hunt (I donāt believe in looking for a man but hey...I get why some women do). Before I get into this list, keep in mind that there are exceptions to every rule and your love story just may be it. šš½ Also, I think finding the right person is less about location (or else we would all be running there) and more about luck and blessings! šš½ Time to get into this Tom Foolery of a list! Here are the 8 Worst Places To Meet A Guy: 8. THE CLUB! Now I know we have all seen that article about the sista that met a prince in the club but the chances of that being your story is slim to none! I have never thought of a club as a good place to meet guys and maybe thatās why I have not outgrown club life.š To me, the club is a place to dance off stress and kick it with my friends. I donāt look for men there though I did meet one guy in a lounge in NC during the 2008 Democratic Convention but that was just luck. He was cute, hardworking, not crazy, and clearly not the man for me or we would be together. But thatās one positive experience out of the 8 million Lilā (fill an ugly rapperās name here) that I have met. And the further South you go...the more they look like they havenāt washed their asses!š So what can you find in the club? Most likely a shitty one night stand but less likely a prince. Lol. š³ I wish Essence and XoNecole would stop running that damn article! Iām glad my sista met her prince in the club but letās keep it all the way real...thatās not where quality men hang out especially as they mature. šš½ 7. ONLINE! With just one click the love of your life may be available. š© But why didnāt someone scoop him up already? Could it be the dead bodies buried in his backyard or his fetish for eating those bodies?! š³ Now before I go in on online dating let me say two things (1) I tried it and I donāt like it for myself and (2) I do have friends that have successfully met a good partner through it but Iām gonna warn you now...for every online love story...there are hundreds more of psycho stories! I mean men are chopping up and killing women they met online! š But to back away from these extremes, I have found that people online are meeting folks with severe issues they wouldnāt normally have to deal with if they had met them in the streets. For example, folks who are catfished! Looks may not be everything but making sure that the person you are falling for is the gender you prefer is huge! š³ Then thereās the socially awkward folks! Seems harmless at first until you are dating them! š© These are things you typically can pick up on right away if you meet someone in person. Yes people can lie face to face but itās so much easier and the lie may be so much bigger when you date online! Like I always feel like the guys with no pictures up of themselves are married!!!! š³If you do decide to go this route, meet up ASAP in a safe public place. I prefer day dates for the first date as well. 6. THE GYM! You have a great chance of meeting a very materialistic person at the gym. If you want a gym buff that brags about how many sets and reps he can do...then the gym is the place for you! š But if you want a man with a thought in his head and a bigger dick size than his arm muscles...stay away from the gym! Yes smart men go to the gym but your treadmill lustful eyes will probably miss them! The gym is a bodies in motion place. Might be suitable for hookups or one night stands (like the club) but I wouldnāt bet on long term. I actually wouldnāt even risk the hookup! It takes me forever to commit...even to a gym membership! I probably do a better job of choosing gyms than I do guys! šPlus most of us are under a yearly contract so why risk it if the relationship doesnāt work out? I can hear the sound of my automatic monthly debit payments coming out of my account while saying...trick this aināt the place for love cause you already love your gym, donāt want to have to switch gyms if things donāt work out, and if under contract your old gym (the lustful yet smart business place it is) will still get their money! š© 5. WORK! Now I do have some couplesā friends that met through work but they are few, far, and in between! Work is really a place where a lot of affairs start! Not to mention...many Human Resources employee manuals have chapters written on sexual harassment alone! Itās just not worth your bread if the relationship does not work out! āš¾ Work relationships lead to more drama and less marriages! I donāt have the numbers but I feel it in my gut! Lol. 4. WHERE YOU LIVE! Now why the fuck would you want to date someone who lives in your building or next door to you?! Your home is where you are most vulnerable. You want some distance between yāall to grow and...in case the relationship does not work out! Can you imagine having a new guy over when your ex boyfriend lives next door?! š© 3. IN ANOTHER WOMANāS BED! Aināt nothing good can be found if your dating pool starts their day in another womanās bed! šš½ Not to mention...you cannot date a married man because...heās married! šš½ Now I definitely tip toed with Phoenix during times he may have been on with his baby mama (this is wrong even in dating) but he always lived on his own, I always left him where I found him, and I never tried to claim him! I am physically and mentally attracted to him but realized that once he had a kid...thereās always going to be a woman waiting on him and it damn sure wonāt be me! āš¾ One cannot build their happiness off of anotherās misery! Whatās in that womanās bed is for her. Stay away from the husbands and try to avoid boyfriends too. Nothing good can be found in another womanās bed! šš½ 2. JAIL! Now Iām irritated I had to even put this one on the list. Free single men are datable men! Locked up ones arenāt! Of course, if you were with your man before he got locked up and want to do a bid with him (wait for him) thatās your choice. However, I am definitely not down for it unless my man got locked up for some Nelson Mandela type shit! If he wasnāt fighting for civil rights...Iām good! āš¾ Whatās bizarre is some women purposely seek out men in jail! Folks even marrying men locked up for life with no option of parole AND men on death row! š³šš© Am I missing something? When did jail become the hot spot to find a man? Cross that shit off your list! There are a thousand and one reasons why jail is not a good place to find a good man but really the number one reason should be...he is simply not in a position to be there for you! šš½ 1. CHURCH! Now the Christians are going to side eye me for this one. Church is not a good place to meet a man except if your culture/religion promotes arranged marriages. Outside of that one exception...the real pimps and hoes arenāt at the club...they in church! š Now hear me out. Church is the best game running out in these streets. It mixes the online dating and club dates effect! Many men know that many women want a God fearing man so they run game right up in the church! I have visited churches where all the men are married but a few short years later they are married to younger sistas that they cheated on the first wife with...all from the same church! Leave dating in the church alone! āš¾ Pastors cheating. Affairs everywhere! Yes the true sin is up in the church! š³ A man can be God fearing and not attend your church. He may have his own place of worship and thatās okay because maybe you both wonāt start attending the same church until you are engaged. First and foremost, church is a place of worship! One should not go there for the sole purpose of finding a man. Yes folks do meet in church and get blessed with their union but unless you want to be changing your place of worship every year when a relationship does not work out...I suggest you not treat finding a spouse in your church lightly! Now it gets even better...hold on for this! Besides online dating, I have heard the most bizarre and unfathomable stories in the church. Some of our family friends found out huge lies that the church covered up AFTER they married the person they met there! Nobody keeps secrets like church folks when they want to marry someone off or when they want to bury something! šš½ Trust me...I know....I am Catholic! š³Think about it...you can pick just about any scripture in the Bible and misinterpret it to justify any evil deed! š³šš©š Lawd have mercy! ~KJM on Throwback Thursday. Be very careful out there!
#throwbackthursday#throwback#thursdaymood#thursdaymotivation#thursdaymorning#online dating#dating advice#dating#grown men#strong women#blackgirlswhoblog
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Choices Pt 3 - You Choose
New Post has been published on http://ronmckey.com/choices-pt-3-you-choose/
You choose a life of blessing and reward OR a life of mediocrity and defeat. We all know that a life of blessing and reward donāt just happen automatically or by chance. There is no such thing as an auto pilot switch for your life. It all happens by CHOICE. One of the greatest mistakes anyone can ever make is when they fail to CHOOSE! Choosing to not choose is a bad choice. Many people assume that life just happens to them ā randomly or haphazardly. They want a better life and they are just waiting for life to get better. They have this belief (which, by the way, is a wrong belief) that they have no power over their own lives. You donāt get a better life; you create a better life by the choices you make. And then there are those who are just ācomfortableā in believing that fate, chance or luck are what are controlling their lives. And then there are other who think/believe that āif God wants them to have something, then they will have it.ā In other words, āLetās just put the monkey on Godās back for how my life turns out.ā Let me repeat, āThe will of God is not automatic; you have to pray; you have to have faith; and you have to choose.ā The BLESSED life happens by CHOICE! The greatest power you have is your power to choose. The Bible says you can choose life or death, blessing or cursing, to be happy or sad. God DOES NOT make our choices for us. We do! We choose and we decide.
As I mentioned in PART TWO of this study on CHOICES ā You have already made a good choice by being in church, but you donāt stop there! You have to keep making good decisions. Good decisions create momentum for your life. Follow up good decisions with more good decisions. Here are some examples for choosing your level of participation in church:
WORSHIP ā How am I going to worship today? With my whole heart or just half heartedly?
PRAYER ā Are my prayers going to be ritualistic (meaning without passion) or faith filled? Are my prayers going to be powerful and anointed?
GIVING ā I can choose to be an extravagant and cheerful giver. Is my giving going to be an act of worship or just another bill to pay?
HEARING ā Jesus said, āItās important the amount of emphasis you place on mixing faith with the word you are hearing.ā In other words, am I just sitting through another church service OR am I allowing the word of God to change me and equip me?
RELATIONSHIP BUILDING ā Into whose life can I be a blessing today? How can I let God use me to be a blessing?
Making good choices begins with your non-negotiable reality. Hereās an example of Joseph: He was sold by his brothers into slavery (he had no choice). He was betrayed over and over (he had no choice). He was falsely accused (he had no choice), and he was falsely imprisoned (again, he had no choice). But, giving up or giving in were not options for Joseph. Even with all these things, Joseph still CHOSE his perspective, his attitude and his responses. And his CHOICES affected his outcome.
Victor Frankl, a prisoner/survivor of Nazi concentration camps, lost everything he had or had everything taken away. His wife died in a concentration camp. His mother and his brother died in a concentration camp. He himself was imprisoned in Auschwitz ā one of the worst. But he had decided he was still in control of his attitude and he refused to be a victim or to submit to defeat. After being liberated, he continued his career as a successful psychiatrist, educator, author and teacher. His most famous book was āSaying Yes To Life In Spite of Everything.ā Here are a couple of quotes from this book: āBetween stimulus and response, there is a space and in that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.ā āWhen we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.ā The point here is that circumstances cannot take away your power to choose! You can CHOOSE today to not be afraid. You can choose today to deal with the guilt that has consumed your life. You can choose today to not be lonely. You can choose today to not be angry. And you can choose today to not worry.
So many people struggle with worry. Let me remind you that worry is doubting God. You can choose to worry, or your can choose to live by faith. When you come to know Christ, and I mean REALLY know Christ, then that whiny attitude of yours becomes a thing of the past! When you walk by faith, it means you are not a crisis Christian and that you are not controlled by your crisis. Instead, you take the name of Jesus, the authority of that name, and you attack the crisis! I Peter 5:7 says, āCasting all your cares (anxiety) onto the Lord because He cares for you.ā How many cares? All of them. Not some and not just the small ones, but ALL of them! The big ones, the scary ones and the mean ones. The Bible says, āBut thanks be to God, which gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.ā Hereās the point behind this verse ā God has given you the victory ā itās already yours!
VICTORY is a gift from God, just like salvation is a gift from God. Did you have to work for your salvation? NO ā you just believed and received it. We need to CHOOSE victory over defeat every time. All good choices begin with right thinking. You can choose āstinking thinkingā or āJesus thinking.āĀ Thomas had stinking thinking ā āIāll have to see it before I believe it, or touch it with my own hands.ā Now Paul on the other hand, was snake bitten, criticized, beaten, stoned, shipwrecked and imprisoned and here is what he said, āThese are all but light affliction.ā WHAT?????? So you can see that one had āstinking thinkingā and the other had āJesus thinking.āĀ You might ask āwhat is Jesus thinking?ā Jesus thinking is when you choose to have the mind of Christ. To have the mind of Christ means to have the same outlook on life that Jesus had. An outlook towards God and not blaming Him, but believing Him; not doubting Him, but trusting Him. An outlook towards man ā to seek, save and restore. An outlook on life ā no doom, gloom or pitiful me, but always focused on doing Godās will.
RE-SURRENDER YOUR LIFE ā Paul said to present our bodies as a living sacrifice. That means that every day we are to re-submit ourselves to God and re-align our thinking with His thinking. Itās a daily decision to follow Christ and a daily decision to make Jesus the Lord of your life. DAILY DECISIONS DETERMINE DIRECTION.
REJOICE ā Philippians 4:4 says, ārejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice.ā You can complain and remain or praise and be raised! Itās a joy to serve God, not a burden. Delight yourself in the Lord. Love being a Christian and donāt ever feel sorry for being a Christ follower.
REMEMBER ā You and I are better with God than without Him. Remember everything God has done for you. Remember His word and what He has said. Remember His power and willingness to answer your prayers. Ask the Holy Spirit to quicken you and remind you every time you start to slip ā this will keep you from slipping back into self-destructive patterns.
REPLACE ā Replace old, worn out thoughts with new and better thoughts. You have to stop thinking one way and start thinking a new way. STOP thinking about your old boyfriend/girlfriend. STOP thinking about how your Ex treated you. STOP thinking about people who have made your life miserable. STOP thinking about all the times you were mistreated. STOP thinking about and digging up all those hurtful emotions.
How many of you need to CHOOSE between life and death? How many of you need to go from good to great? Letās all be ready to create the life we desire.
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