#we back on that banana grind

[cornkernelle]

I. Really like Banana Eel... Do you have any funny facts about him. Also I would give Lady Plantain a kiss if she let me

Oh, that I do! Let's go down the list of lil fun facts 1) He attracts symbols of bad luck. Thanks to his curse, black cats and ravens mysteriously start flocking to him. When he walks by a horse shoe decoration, it's "loose screw" makes it flip upside down!

2) He has a habit of inspecting cookies he meets often whenever he can. The reason why?

He wants to make sure when he makes sculptures of them, they're accurate! He doesn't show these to anyone, it's just something he enjoys doing to pass the time.

3) Depending on his mood, the visibility of his pupils change! This isn't always negative nor intentional.

That's it for the facts.. But on another note-

Since you ask so nicely, here's a kiss from the spitfire herself! Im so happy you all like her HEHHEEHH because I do toooooo~

Hope you're okay with a bit of calamity rubbing off on you after you give him a hug, bud, cause that's what you're gonna get. Hence the confusion.

[bananasofthorns]

THE HYPERFIXATION (I was working on dnd stuff and blinked and suddenly it was 8:30pm and I hadn't eaten dinner)

[tpwk-formula1]

Hiii! Just read your fist pizza order and I looooved it so I thought I might as well give you some writing to do!

Could I please have a pizza with cauliflower crust, Alfredo sauce, banana peppers and broccoli? With some sprite and lemonade and dessert please! And served by franco (I need him to be the sunshine in this)!

Thank you so so much 🥰🥰

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

cauliflower grumpy x sunshine Alfredo sauce sweet sex banana peppers "Look so pretty riding my cock" broccoli "Made just for me huh?" sprite size kink lemonade body worship dessert yes served by Franco Colapinto

Franco x grumpy! girlfriend

TW A short one, morning sex, riding, unprotected sex

WC 800+

Y/N POV

"Good morning pretty girl," Franco mumbles when he starts to wake up from my nails running across his shirt-covered back. He starts turning onto his side and pulling me slower to his chest making me groan.

"It's too early," I mumble back making Franco giggle softly at my morning moodiness.

"Why is it that your alarm always wakes me up and never you?" I question with an arched brow making Franco's face heat slightly from being called out before he just shrugs. He'd much rather wake up to his girlfriend's touch anyway.

"Come on baby, we have a big day!" Franco says with far too much excitement making me bury my face back into his chest not waiting to leave the bed.

"No," I grumble gripping onto the back of Franco's shirt not wanting him to get out of the bed either.

"Come on," Franco says dragging out the "n".

"20 minutes," I say coldly making Franco giggle but relax slightly into my arms.

"Gonna make us late baby," Franco says but still making not move to get out of bed.

"Babe, we don't need to be in the paddock for another 3 hours, 20 minutes wont kill us," I tell him making him shrug.

"Just excited for my first race," Franco says with a smile on his face making me smile softly at him.

It was Monza race day which means it's Franco's first Grand Prix in Formula 1 and he has been extremely anties the whole time.

"I know, and I'm happy for you," I tell him softly before pulling him in for a soft kiss.

What was supposed to be just a quick peck slowly turns into a heated makeout session, resulting in me climbing into Frnaco's lap and grinding down on his hardening cock.

"Fuck baby, we don't have time," Franco groans making me grind down harder, making both of us whine at the pleasure coursing through us.

"Please, we have time," I say while pulling off the shirt I had slept in the night before. I start pushing Franco's shirt up to reviel his tones abs and chest when I instantly lean down and start kissing him neck and chest before pushing myself down a little further pulling his boxers down slightly before pulling his cock into my mouth for a soft suck making Franco groan.

"Fuck baby, so good," Franco groans when I start bobbing my head softly.

"We'll be quick," I say as if he needed any further convincing.

"Come ride me, baby," Franco says clearly having no patience. I just giggle and roll my eyes at his neediness before climbing back into Franco's lap and sinking down his cock when I pull my thong to the side.

"Fuck," I groan at the stretch before I slowly start rocking my hips trying to gain stimulation before I start bouncing up and down making Franco moan.

"Look so pretty riding my cock," Franco moans out softly making my face heat up slightly at the praise.

"It's so good baby," I mumble softly.

"Fuck, always so good for me," Franco groans moving his hands to my hips and giving them a hard squeeze before he starts helping me bounce on his cock.

"I'm close," I moan out already starting to get shakey legs, which has Franco flipping us over so he was now hovering over me and pounding into my pussy making me moan and whine at the stimulation.

"Fuck," I moan when the new angle has Franco hitting a new spot deep in my pussy.

"It's like you were made just for me, Huh?" Franco states bringing a hand down to my clit making me clench around his cock ready to cum.

"Please can I cum," I beg needing my release.

"Cum for me," Franco groans before sending me over the edge into a strong orgasm and squeezing around Franco's cock making him pull out and cum all over my tummy.

Once both Franco and I have come down from our highs he slowly climbs out of bed and pulls his boxers off all the way before pulling my thong off and picking me up and taking me into the bathroom.

Once he turns the shower on and lets the water heat up Franco takes my hand into his pulling me to join him.

We spent the next 20 minutes cleaning each other off before we got out and started getting ready for race day.

"Told you we had time," I saw with a smirk when we walked into the paddock hand and hand 15 minutes earlier than we needed to be.

Franco just laughs and shakes his head before kissing my forehead softly.

"Gonna get us in trouble one of these days," Franco says making me smirk and shrug.

"You wouldn't change it for the world though."

[pha55ed]

I'll Be Home || F1/F2

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: none

contains :: carlos, charles, lando, oscar, ollie, paul, pepe

summary :: you introduce him to your family, he's terrified by he still pulls through

xmas celly here! || f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist

Carlos Sainz | 55

When you told Carlos to come to your family's party, he instantly accepted with glee. Except, right after he began to panic and process the preparation needed to go into this. It was sweet to see his smile drop so quickly, meaning he put his thinking mode on.

Despite Carlos being loved by so many, he's still so nervous. You both sit in the car for almost 5 minutes just chatting to help calm him down. He's fidgeting with his hands, pushing his hair back and forth to perfect it, and he's doing his best to remember the ice-breakers he learned online.

"I promise, they'll love you no matter what." You say, grabbing his hands to stop his constant fidgeting. "You're going to do great!"

You knew he was going to try and "but" you so you quickly jumped outside the car. Which made his jaw drop, since he swore to forever open every door for you, no matter what. Instantly, he runs outside of the car and before you can even step 2 feet away from the car, he gently pushes you back into the car and shut the door.

He's saying something outside of the door, definitely complaining about losing his streak. By the time he opens the door for you, gently reaching for your hand to bring you inside, you can see most of your family outside ready to greet you.

Carlos is embarrassed, terrified that he just seemed like a controlling monster. But you knew your family, and you knew they would have adored his commitment to treating you like a princess. And you were right, they greeted him with welcome arms and loved his gesture.

Charles Leclerc | 16

He was well prepared for this day. It was like he was training to be in the military. The day you invited him to your family dinner, he's been grinding day and night to create the most perfect answers and conversation starters. He had his outfit ready and steamed, shoes cleaned, and even did an intense night routine to prepare.

So when he comes to your family's house, he's well prepared. You can't help but try to hold your laugh back at how serious he's taking this all. All your effort to hold back the laugh instantly comes out the second Charles begin to speak to them, because his chill-rich-nonchalant act came apart so quickly.

Your family brings up anything and instantly Charles is unable to hold back a fun fact he knows. Even something as random as a bananas then turned into: "Did you know if you add them to smoothies, it actually ruins the vitamins of the other fruits? I also dressed up as one on stream haha! Look!"

He's also unable to hold the touch guy persona with the kids. They instantly melt him, making stupid jokes with them. He's severely behind on trends though... Mentioning whips and nae-naes, the troll face, and G-mod. But that's fine, it makes the kids giggle at his old knowledge.

He's even acting like a fool with the dog. Trying to get the dogs to sit, roll over, and failing miserably. It makes everyone laugh and chuckle at him. But it's not at his expense, but instead at the pure energy he has to become part of this family. Which makes him instantly accepted by everyone in your family, including the dogs.

Lando Norris | 04

Before his fuck-boy reputation, there was rookie-Lando. The sweet boy who didn't grow pubes yet,,, somehow... And although you met Lando in his new era, filled with confidence and sass, you saw the real him behind his persona.

His palms were sweating, his voice was slightly higher, and his smile was flashing every second out of nerves. Anyone could tell he was nervous, he looked like a high schooler about to give a presentation. You two sat in the car, about to leave but he gently asked you:

"Can we stay in here for a minute?" He asks, turning to you as he fixes his sweater.

You were confused slightly. It was normal when you asked to stay in the car for a minute to redo your lip combo, since he usually ate it off of you. But Lando doesn't have a lip combo, or any makeup at all.

"I'm just," He could tell you were puzzled, "Nervous.. I wanna just talk to you, get the nerves out."

You smile at his words, he looked so cute being so nervous to meet your family of weirdos. "Lando, you'll do great! I know for a fact that they're going to love-"

"No no. I don't need reassurance or anything, thank you though love." He cuts you off. "I just, jus' want to talk to you. You calm me down."

"Talk about what?" You ask.

"Anything." He shrugs. "You just, calm me down." He says, making you smile from his simple yet impactful words. "You're like a walking vape."

"Oh shut up!" You smack him playfully, "You ruined a good moment!" Chuckling at his comment. But your chuckle brought a smile to his face, but this time it was a genuine smile.

Not out of nervousness or fear, but a real smile. Your laugh was able to brighten him up within a split second. And that's all he needed. Because truthfully, he didn't care too much of what your family thought of him. Of course he wanted them to like him, but he's able to accept other's opinions. All he really cared for was that you loved him, and he knew you did.

Oscar Piastri | 81

"Should I wear my midnight blue tie or navy blue tie?" Oscar asks, holding both up for you to look at. He was sweating bullets at the idea of meeting your entire family for the first time. Even though you reassured him endlessly that your family would love him, he wasn't certain on it.

"Either works, love" You say, trying your best to multi-task answering his stupid questions while getting ready yourself. You knew he wasn't trying to be annoying. It was cute to you that he was so nervous, despite him being on the verge of a breakdown.

"Okay what about white or black socks?" You told him white. "What length though? Above or below the ankle???" You told him above. "Okay, but should I pick the ones with a logo or no logo-"

"Oscar." You said firmly. He gulped, he knew he should have picked the no logo socks, what a stupid question! But that wasn't what you were going to say. "I promise you'll be perfectly fine. They don't care what you wear, how you sound, or even what you like."

"I know, I know, but I don't want to disappoint them." He says before remembering, "Oh shit! We need to leave soon! I need to pick up the bouquets I ordered for your family on the way there-"

You couldn't help but laugh at him. Every question he asked was just further proof that would be perfectly fine meeting them all. You had no doubts that your family would adore him: which they did.

Oliver Bearman | 87

The second Ollie stepped foot into your family's party, he was bombarded with questions. Bringing a tall, handsome, and talented young man into your family automatically made him lovable. They almost forgot about the fact that the only reason he was there was because of you.

He can't escape the grandmas and aunties fawning over how cute he is and all the uncles can't stop bothering him with questions about cars. Even your little cousins love him, asking him annoying questions that he handled really well.

Before you know it, he's carrying your baby cousin in one arm, holding a paper plate filled to the brim with food, wearing your uncle's hat that he insisted suited Ollie more, and being forced to tell everyone his facebook so they can stalk him.

The night lasted hours, but thankfully all your family got drunk or sleepy. Meaning you two were able to escape from the party. The second you're in the car, he sighs. It confused you, was he tired? Relieved to leave? Sad???

"Do you think they liked me?" He asks you. Which you instantly want to slam his head into the window.

"Yes Ollie, they liked you." You say with a smile, giving him a kiss on his cheek. "They loved you."

Paul Aron | 17

You've met Paul's family many times due to them being extremely present in his life. His sister always makes sure to check on him, taking you out for little gossip coffee dates. His brother is constantly calling Paul, making sure to tease him endlessly. And his parents are always there to encourage you two and take you on their family vacations.

So now that it's Paul's turn to be part of your family, he feels so nervous. He's ruffling up his hair for the 100th time, mumbling the lines he practiced to say. It's just a small get together for the holiday season, but Paul insisted that he should still be dressed nicely.

Once you arrive, you're on time... By 10 minutes. Despite you insisting that no one ever comes early to a family party, he doesn't care. He'd much rather be early and help set up than be late and risk ruining his first impression. Besides, if there's less people, then he can make sure he talks to every single family member.

And his plan worked really well. He's helping set up the plates and utensils while chatting with your aunt about how he loves her decor. Making her feel appreciated, finally someone saw the effort she put into picking the perfect width of a fork handle!

He helps your uncle prepare the back yard by opening all the lounge chairs. Which lets him make small talk with him, where they both find out that they love Star Wars. Now your uncle loves him because he can finally talk to someone who's as passionate as him.

Paul keeps doing this with every family member that arrives, being able to talk to them each one on one in order to create a bond. Because in group settings, Paul tends to get a tad bit nervous. He doesn't know when to jump in or what to say instantly.

By doing this, you both return home with every single family member loving him. And each of them remembering him from the little facts he shared with them. He was so respectful, engaged, and sweet the entire day. You couldn't help but just want to shower him in kisses for putting in so much effort and energy into your family.

Pepe Marti | 21

"Tall and tan and young and lovely," are lyrics dedicated to a girl but they perfectly fit Pepe. Because he instantly charms the entire family with his sweet smile and handsome looks. You're worried that he might get stolen from you by the end of the night.

He's just a future uncle in training. Making all the aunts laugh with quick jokes and then heading outside to sip on a beer while helping light a fire. He's even forced to help clean the grill and get a new gas tank to light it up.

You feel so much more mature now, no longer feeling part of the cousin crew but instead a future auntie in the making. He makes you feel so domestic, so warm and nurtured that the only thing you want to do is share the love of being cared for.

And you can't help but just fall for him deeper. And the same goes for him.

Despite being assigned random tasks to complete, he always makes sure to check up on you. Giving you a quick peck on the cheek as he walks back and forth from the kitchen to the yard. Making sure to shut down any rude comments from your aunts by turning it into a joke. Squeezing your hand three times under the dinner table to remind you that he loves you.

He couldn't have been more perfect.

[tgcg]

this is my element (+ album)

asking me to pick my fave album is like asking an orphan matron to pick her favorite baby boy

thats some weird and cruel circumstances to put upon me i feel like it changes every damn week like a rota

i mean what if my beats misbehave and i gotta put 'em in time out i cant play permanent on that theyre too cute

but yknow what i can show you one thing thats been on my mind lately

===

so when i was a kid we had this skateboard vid by "element skateboards" on DVD

they were this skateboard kit slash apparel company that was all about progressivism and shit and they did these much lauded comp tapes of dudes riding around on their boards and doing the dopest of macho tricks on the shit

flipping it turnways

putting the rock in the house like a big man

we had some of their merch actually

===

so anyways the one we had back then was This Is My Element

released 2007

mostly clips from cali i think and i mean the camerawork is fucking insane on some of those shots

this is gonna sound lame as fuck but i prob spent so many cumulative hours just peelin through the footage and ogling the shit outta it

that framing was tight

===

so you may be asking yourself or me

dave you genuine dicksucker i asked about your fav album not your favorite sordid ass display of smooth dudes hardcore riding and grinding them boards in public dude you have a problem

ok well that wasnt a question first of all so jot that down

but anyways to THAT i say

listen to the music

the whole thing has an original soundtrack of ambient beats

got some abstract hip hop jams, got some more indie stuff, lots of acoustic sampling

HELLA underground

and basically every track minus one is done by sampler beast david p. madson AKA "odd nosdam"

dude is my hero seriously

he is the master of the beat machine i shit you not hes always been kinda my idol on this stuff

aside from bro obviously

===

obviously.

===

anyways he had an E-mu SP-1200 which is a really oldschool sampler invented by dave rossum in the late 80s

revolutionary to the hip hop scene

nosdam had this mega distinct sound to his music that i always wanted to replicate on my own beats

still do

i dont know for sure if he used it on T.I.M.E. but he uses some of the same samples from "vol. 9" which was exclusively SP-1200 so im gonna get a lil j’accuzi on that

it couldve been a boss dr sampler SP-202 though idk

he had one of those

===

so aside from beating the shit out of the pause/resume button to flip my whole cranium at the cinematography or whatever i would also kinda play it on loop to listen to the soundtrack and space out at 2am

the lonely broner seemed to free his mind at night

ok shit broner is good but i didnt mean it like that

that was goofy lets just keep movin

it was the only way i had to listen to it back then but i mean the video is 50 mins long so its basically just an odd nosdam album with accompanying ambient skater sounds and random expletives and whatever

random car sequence

yknow what i dont think people respect enough?

the dude who catches all the "mad stunts yo" on camera

i swear to god at least half the time hes ALSO on a board and that shit is bananas to me

bros gotta be on some whole other level of zen to skate good AND catch all them glamor shots of his fellow skater

thats like an express ticket to the ER imo

the ambulance is already on the scene watching you like an eager crow watches a half dead dog

===

ok gonna go ahead and lay it out flat

not great on a board myself

kinda dogshit at it actually

so maybe im not exactly an arbitrator of skateboard heinousness

but i always kinda liked watching THEM do it i mean who doesnt?

whats an even crazier layer to stack on the "dave" cake is

and dirk told me this because unfortunately it kinda happened post-2009

he would do all these collabs with one of my childhood favorite underground rappers david cohn aka serengeti

surrounded by daves left and right dude even before all the time travel horseshit

thats like

serendipitous as fuck i think!

===

if sburb was just a revolving door of artists called dave that i could bump fists with

instead of other mes in various states of aliveness tending toward extremely dead

i wouldve probably given it something higher than 2 stars on my TGN review

===

so yeah you ask me my favorite album its T.I.M.E. by odd nosdam i guess

bump that shit on a walk your mind will go places unknown to man

[elsecrytt]

so things have been better at work lately.

after satoru gojo spends several hours on his knees, tears in his eyes, begging you to slap him in the face a second time, you're feeling confident that you're not going to lose your job.

you're also feeling better after your rent situation. satoru had finally convinced you to slap him again with a big, fat, thousand dollar bonus added on for each instance of physical contact.

you're kind of proud of how you pulled that one off.

"a hundred dollars? am i a joke to you?"

"what do you mean, five hundred per slap? i told you, my rent went up!"

"i still have other bills, satoru. what do you think groceries cost these days? how much is a banana, satoru? how much?"

considering all he ate was takeout and he never kept receipts or even listened to totals, it wasn't that difficult.

on the other hand, it was kind of messed up how drastically your life has changed now that you slapped your boss.

right now, you're cooking another lovingly homemade breakfast meal. french toast, glazed bacon, some picture-perfect omurice (it was pretty fun, trying to get it perfect)!

you enjoy cooking again. it looks so much more tasty knowing you're going to get a bite of it for yourself.

satoru sits, bright and eager, at the beautiful marble table you've laid so many (untouched) meals down on.

you relish how the excitement melts off his face when you set a bowl of cereal in front of him. sitting across to help yourself to your own meal which you cooked.

"hey!" he's quick to protest, of course, but shrivels under the weight of your glare.

"oh, don't be shy, satoru," you say evenly, "i know you don't like my cooking."

there's an awkward silence that follows. oh, sweet vindication.

almost as sweet as finally getting to eat your own cooking. god. you're mad at him all over again. this was awesome.

all those meals you worked so hard on... all that perfectly good food that went straight into the trash out of pure spite... oh, the joy that floods your chest as he looks at you like a kicked puppy.

"please?" he whines, "c'mon, i know i was a jerk! i promise i'll eat it this time!"

"will you?" your eyes narrow as you stand up, watching him tense as his eyes lock onto you.

good.

"on the floor," you say, pointing down. "lay down."

it's telling how quickly he moves to obey. god, you spent so much time catering to this little shit when you should have been telling him what to do.

you kick him in the side, and satoru yelps as your foot lifts up his side. still, he rolls over obediently, grumbling.

"you're so mean," he whines as you press down on his back.

that sends a little trickle of delight through you.

you're mean now, are you?

with him laying on his belly, you grab your half-finished omurice from the table, sitting yourself down on his ass.

and his ass looks a lot better in the jeans than it feels - satoru's a lean guy. but you make it work, straddling him, just enough that you could grind your crotch down against him... if you wanted to.

he groans at it, too, confirming just how hard he is.

you set the plate in front of his face.

"okay, satoru. you want some?" you grab him by the hair, pulling his head up, just on top of the plate, "eat."

another little bitch-moan comes out of his mouth, no doubt a complaint.

you shove his face forward, "i don't want to hear it. eat what's in front of you and be grateful for it."

his hips shift underneath you - the whore is grinding against the floor!

but you see his mouth moving, eating like you told him to.

after a few bites you pull him up, giving him time to swallow before you ask.

"well? how is it?" you can't keep the bitterness out of your voice, "does it belong in the trash?"

there's a warning tone, a frustration that sounds almost like motherly scolding.

it makes satoru about ten times harder.

"no," he simpers, leaning back forwards to take another bite.

like a dog on the leash, you stop him, hand in his hair.

"what do we say?"

satoru bites his lip. his cheeks are hot, flushed. "thank you for the meal~"

you let him back with a huff.

and try as you might to suppress it, there's something that heats your blood, too. something burning inside you at the sight of him eating like a dog, licking the plate clean.

devouring the meal you made for him like he can't get enough.

you tell yourself it's just satisfaction. seeing food not go to waste.

you distinctly ignore the pulse between your legs -

but it gets harder to, when satoru finally finishes his meal, spinning around underneath you.

he makes no attempt to push you off - instead, he pulls you against him closer, so you're straddling his hips.

grinding against his crotch. friction hot and delicious and pulling at something deep inside you.

crystal blue eyes looking up at you, all pretty and pleading.

pawing hands clasping over your thighs.

"please, madam housekeeper," he licks his lips, "may i have some more?"

...

...you're not about to fuck your boss... are you?

[fadelbison]

I think the fact that we had two high profile actors have to take a step back from BL due to mental health issues in the last year alone and total 4 (krist james jimmy and chimon but also saint stepped back to bts and up also went that route before slowly dipping his feet back in) since I’ve gotten into this fandom should be an indicator that company’s need to be doing less not more.

Literally saw a fan complaining yesterday that FIRST KANAPHAN was being unfairly treated because he wasn’t getting enough work 😭😭😭 that man is literally never off my timeline how much more can he even work without dying?

When a company is doing 4 re-runs their teams are likely running on fumes and in a talent/ creator based industry you can’t just scale up endlessly resources are not unlimited. And sorry I took that so goddamn personally but burnout =/= incompetent.

They can’t just hire any fresh grad and expect them to work at the pace that the company needs them to. Even if they have talent they need to be trained and invested in and this has to happen at every level of production. There’s even a show coming out about it right now as we speak. I’m begging people to just open up a map of Thailand and realize just how small a country it is.

I can’t stand twitter because it’s an endless barrage of fans demanding demanding demanding for unreasonable things. Tumblr is my escape from that hustle and grind culture. And somehow we’ve managed to import that here.

I have the ability to mass block if I need to but also does anyone here have the ability to just chill the fuck out for a second. Like we have to be honest with ourselves here: I’m *not* a GMM fangirl you guys are just acting bananas.

[awkward-walking-potato]

Hiiii! Happy spooky season. I have a request for wade Wilson with choosing couples costumes!!!!! 👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃 I'd love to see what u come up with!!

The Spirit of Wade

You sat at your desk, buried beneath a mountain of work. Papers, emails, spreadsheets—all of it had piled up over the last few weeks, and it felt like you were drowning. On top of that, Blind Al’s Halloween party was just around the corner, and you didn’t even have the time to think about costumes.

Your phone buzzed, the screen lighting up with a text from Wade.

Wadeykins:Babycakes, what’re we wearin’ to Al’s spooky bash?

You groaned, rubbing your temples. The last thing you had time for was a costume shopping spree.

You:I’m swamped with work, Wade. Can you go to Spirit Halloween and grab us something? I trust you.

The moment you hit send, you instantly regretted it. Trusting Wade with anything remotely important usually ended in chaos. But before you could follow up with any kind of instruction, a new text popped up.

Wadeykins:OMW to Spirit. Gonna make us the hottest couple at that party, babe.

You stared at the message for a long moment, then let out a resigned sigh. There was no going back now. Wade was on a mission, and you had work to finish. You figured you'd cross the "what did Wade do?" bridge when you got home.

By the time you got back to your apartment later that evening, your body was exhausted, and your brain felt like it had turned into mush from the day’s grind. All you wanted to do was change into something comfortable and forget about everything for a while. But the moment you opened the door, your heart sank as you were greeted by a sight that was equal parts adorable and terrifying.

Spread out across the living room floor were not one, not two, but ten matching couple costumes. Wade was in the center of it all, beaming like a proud toddler who’d just shown his parents his first macaroni art masterpiece.

“Welcome home, pumpkin muffin!” Wade greeted, jumping up from where he’d been sitting. His eyes twinkled mischievously beneath his mask. “I know you’re busy and all, so I took the liberty of providing options.”

You blinked, staring at the sea of costumes that now dominated your living room. “Wade… what… what is this?”

He clapped his hands together, rubbing them like a mad scientist about to unveil his latest invention. “Okay, okay, so check it out. Blind Al’s party is a big deal, right? We gotta be the it couple there. So I went ahead and got us ten different matching costumes. I know, I know, I’m basically a relationship genius.”

You were torn between exasperation and amusement, but the exhaustion from work melted away as Wade’s enthusiasm radiated through the room. With a sigh, you dropped your bag by the door and walked over to inspect his selections.

“Alright, what do we have here, then?” you asked, folding your arms.

Wade excitedly began showcasing each option, holding them up like a game show host showing off prizes.

“Couple number one!” Wade started, holding up two banana suits. “Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich!” He held up a jar of peanut butter with a wide grin. “Get it? You’ll be the sweet banana, and I’ll be the chunky peanut butter. It’s a classic combo, like us! Everyone loves PB and B.”

You snorted, shaking your head. “Not bad, but let’s keep going.”

“Couple number two!” Wade swept his arm dramatically toward the next option. A pair of hospital gowns—complete with matching IV drips. “Doctor and Sexy Patient! Except... we’re both patients because it’s sexier that way. Plus, I already have practice wearing hospital gowns, thanks to the whole ‘mutated cancer mess.’”

You bit your lip, trying not to laugh. “I think I’m gonna veto that one.”

“Fair, fair.” Wade shrugged. “Couple number three!” He held up a pair of inflatable T-rex costumes. “Dinosaur Power Couple! Imagine us stomping into the party in these bad boys. We’ll be unstoppable!”

“That sounds... sweaty.”

“Yeah, but think of the dramatic entrance!”

You chuckled. “Next.”

Wade dramatically threw his hands into the air and skipped to the next set. “Couple number four:Bob Ross and Happy Little Tree!” He waved around a giant paintbrush and an afro wig. “I’ll be Bob, you’ll be my masterpiece! I can paint you with compliments all night.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Sweet, but no.”

Wade was undeterred. He spun toward another option, holding up matching black-and-white striped shirts. “Thieves in Love! We could go around the party, stealing snacks and hearts.”

You laughed. “Okay, that’s pretty cute.”

“Right? But wait, there’s more!” Wade dashed to the next set. “Ketchup and Mustard! Or Salt and Pepper! Or Burger and Fries!” Each matching pair was more ridiculous than the last, and each idea more absurd. You couldn’t stop laughing as Wade enthusiastically presented each costume, making over-the-top sales pitches for all of them.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of couples costumes, Wade stopped in front of the last pair and turned to you with a grin that could only mean trouble.

“For the grand finale,” he said with a flourish, holding up a pair of cheesy superhero costumes that were definitely not part of any known franchise. “Super Wade and Super You! Capes included. We fight crime and bad party snacks.”

You rubbed your face, unable to stop smiling. “Wade… this is insane.”

He stepped closer, his eyes softening beneath the mask. “I know, but I wanted to give you choices. I know you’ve been working hard and you’ve been stressed. Figured I’d take some of the load off by going overboard with options. Plus, it gave me an excuse to flirt with you in a million different ways. Win-win.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, but your heart swelled at his thoughtfulness. “Thanks, Wade. Really.”

He cocked his head, a hint of shyness peeking through his bravado. “So… which one? Or should we go with my favorite?”

“And which one is that?”

Wade’s grin turned mischievous again. “I’m voting for Super Wade and Super You. ‘Cause let’s face it, babe, we’re already super together.”

You shook your head, but your smile never wavered. “Alright, fine. Super Wade and Super You it is.”

Wade let out an excited cheer, pumping his fist in the air before pulling you into a tight embrace. “We’re gonna be the sexiest, crime-fighting couple at that party, babe. Al won’t know what hit her.”

You laughed, leaning into him as he twirled you around. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“Impossible or impossibly charming?” Wade teased, dipping you dramatically.

“Maybe a bit of both.”

As you settled into the costume that night, you realized that, once again, Wade had managed to turn what could have been a stressful situation into something fun and ridiculous. And as you both headed out to Blind Al’s Halloween party, arms linked and capes trailing behind, you couldn’t help but think that you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[ncsdlr]

Ride Me On My Motorcycle

- Kinktober Day 6 -

Lana Del Rey x Reader

--------------------------------

You met Lana Del Rey in Target at downtown LA. She had hit you with her cart that, ending up with you tumbling to the floor.

"Awh, my back," you groaned as you caressed the base of your spine. Luckily, you were far enough from the shelves to avoid hitting your head on them. That would have been tragic.

"Oh, my god, I'm so sorry...I didn't see you- here let me help," Lana said as she reached her hands out to you. In that same second though, the heel of your foot dug into a banana, causing you to slip and pull Lana down with you.

Gosh, you had barely even interacted with the woman and you were already dragging her.

"Oh, god!" You caught Lana by her waist and shoulder, and suddenly you were blushing Lana's hands landed right on your titties. Literally, right on them.

It's an honor.

You thought you said that in your head, but apparently you didn't, "Well," she chuckled, "This is definitely one way to meet someone."

You shited your hips to the side as you felt a cramp begin to form. You had stared at Lana that whole time. It was thoroughly awkward. Luckily no one else was there to see that.

"We should," you started, and before you could even finish your sentence, Lana nodded and finished it for you, "Yup, yeah- we should get up."

And that was the start of it. Now, you two have happily been in a relationship for almost two years. For your second anniversary, you thought you'd take Lana out to that new Italian diner in Maine. That had gone successfully and you were riding back home with Lana as your backpack.

The woman insisted that you take your motorcycle for the anniversary date. Currently, you and Lana were facing each other on your motor. Her thighs rested over yours while her butt rested on the leather seat. She had her arms over your shoulders as you kissed her, running your hands over her back and to her waist.

You'd gotten home just a few minutes ago, and as you were about to pull yourself off the bike, but Lana beat you to it and sat you back down. When Lana finally straddled you then, she kissed you deeply, trying to subtly grind her hips into yours.

Her lips were very soft against yours, and it was making you melt really quickly. Little did you know, Lana had been melted. You wouldn't believe how befuddled her mind currently is.

The only thing on her mind was to get fucked. Her goal was to be fucked. It didn't matter where or how- if you fucked her right now, Lana would be very happy -she just needed to be fucked.

Lana sighed against your lips when you started fondling her breasts through her top. You pulled the hem of her shirt down just enough to reveal her bra, now teasingly pinching at her nipples through it.

Whimpers and whines filtered through her lips now that she was unable to kiss you back. You kept up kissing her though, sucking on her bottom lip before sinking your teeth into it.

Slowly, you were becoming more and more aware of the pace Lana set as she grinds herself down on you. You chuckled into her lips at this, finding amusement in her desperation. Unfortunately- for Lana -you held her hips still.

"What do you want?" you rasped.

Lana's answer came in a ragged whine, "Fuck me. Right here and now, please."

"Kinky little girl. You want me to fuck you right here in your driveway? You won't care if anyone sees, huh?" Your hands wander to the buttons of Lana's pants, picking them apart to open her up to you more. "You're desperate enough to say fuck all to the paparazzi that could spot me fucking you out here."

You pushed your hand through Lana's pants and underwear, lightly caressing the wetness on her folds. A chuckle emitted through you as Lana whined, tilting her head back in a show of attitude. You clicked your tongue on the roof of your mouth, wordlessly scolding her as you dared her to continue.

Lana's mind fogged up further as your finger found her, making her thrust into your hand, your fingers slipping closely to her sopping hole. She was the definition of wet as she ground her cunt down.

"My god, you're very desperate, huh? You wanna cum like this?"

Lana nodded eagerly, hiding her face in your neck as you began rubbing tighter circles on her clit. You hummed in disapproval, taking a fistful of Lana's hair in your free hand, and pulling her off your neck.

"Nuh-uh, don't hide, baby. You wanted me to fuck you out here- in your driveway -where anyone can walk by and see you being a little slut for me."

Lana's head rolled back the same time her eyes did, groaning into the night air as she continued to hump your hand for pleasure, "God, Y/N."

You grinned proudly, "That's it, Lana, fuck yourself on my fingers like that." As pleasure thoroughly consumed Lana, she started to fully bounce herself on your fingers, reveling in the feeling of them filling her up.

She felt the grooves and wrinkles of your fingers, the short length of your nails scratching at the sweet spots in her pussy. You had her eyes rolling the back of her head, moaning loudly, rolling her hips, the power you held over her really showing through even as you merely held your hand still and watched as she got herself off on your fingers.

"Holy shit, I'm close- I'm so close, Y/N! Please, let me cum."

You nodded, looking right into Lana's eyes, a small smile growing on your face as you watched her chase her high. "You can cum, Lana. You have my permission to make a mess right here, baby- right out here, in your driveway. Do it for me, my love."

Right as you curled your fingers for a final time, Lana's hips lifted up just enough for your fingers to slip out of her. Her orgasm tore through her, like a heat moving from her stomach and out through her pussy.

"Fuck!" she screamed as her wetness squirted from her, drenching your arm and the leather seat of your motorbike. You grinned proudly at the loud moan Lanalet out, cooing sweet nothings into her ear.

She didn't hear a single thing, though. The woman was still going through her high, feeling every aftershock as your fingers rubbed at her clit slowly. When her orgasm subsided, Lana breathed out a sigh and combed her fingers through your hair, looking into your eyes as she spoke, "You're gonna have to make me cum again, Y/N/N."

You chuckled, taking Lana's chin into your hand with a gentle grip, "You're gonna lick your mess off my bike first, little girl."

[missiletoe]

ok idk where my template is and i am literally a month late but here is a silly little Office / Corporate Life AU that I wrote about Mandy/Kiara from @magicmooshka''s hit comic, Go Girl Go!

written for round 7 of the yuri shipping olympics prompt: A broken elevator the characters are stuck together in word count: 886

-----------------------------------------------------------------

“Hold the door!” 

Kiara looks up from the First-Day itinerary inked onto her phone screen, trying to find the source of the scream. She sticks a hand out in front of the closing elevator doors regardless and watches as they slide back open.

“H-HOLD THE DOOR PLEASE!” the voice yells, closer this time, and Kiara stares as a tiny figure finally rounds the corner, clutching a briefcase that looks like it’s bursting at the seams.

The girl crashes more than walks into the elevator, panting against the railing when she finally makes it. The doors slide shut behind her and a paper threatens to slip out of the leather case when she tips it too far downwards. Kiara pushes it back into place for her.

“Sorry,” the girl says, brushing her bangs out of her face. Cute, Kiara thinks involuntarily and then mentally slaps herself to bring herself back to reality. “I-It’s my first day as an intern and I was really scared that I’d be late to my first meeting on my first day and then my boss would fire me and I would have to go back to the trenches of LinkedIn not to say that I don’t like it here because I’m Very Excited about working here and being a corporate slave oh god I didn’t mean it like that–I’ve said too much, haven’t I?”

“No worries,” Kiara replies smoothly. The girl has a strand of hair matted to her forehead and Kiara taps her own skin once to gesture for her to move it. The girl goes cross-eyed in the mirror trying to find it before finally slapping herself a few times across the forehead. “I’m Kiara and it’s my first day as an intern for the Sales team.”

“Ohmygod, you’re an intern too?” the girl yelps, pointing at her in disbelief. “B-But you’re so cool and so mature-looking and so professional?!”

Kiara blinks, stunned into silence.

“I meant that in a good way!” the girl adds quickly. “I’m Mandy, did I say that yet?”

Kiara can’t help it–she giggles. Mandy is as endearing as she is nervous.

“Pleased to meet you, Mandy,” she says, offering her hand. Mandy stares at it blankly for a few seconds before grabbing it and shaking it vigorously. Kiara’s eyes widen at the tightness of her grip.

Mandy finally lets go and slips her phone out of her pocket instead, tilting the screen to check the time.

“Good, I still have fifteen minutes before my meeting and it should only take five for me to find the meeting but in the case I get lost or someone stops to talk to me for ten minutes, I should still be–”

As if on cue, the elevator sputters like a dying engine, giving one last croak before promptly dying in between floors 4 and 5. 

Kiara looks up at the lights on top, weakly illuminating the number four as the elevator rocks back and forth before grinding to a halt. Mandy follows her gaze, going weak at the knees.

“Did it just… stop?” she asks uncertainly and Kiara peeks through the gap in the doors.

“I think so,” she replies when the elevator doesn’t whir back to life after a few moments.

“We’re gonna die,” Mandy says, eyes wide. “It was nice to meet you though before I died, Kiara. In another life, we might’ve been able to be good friends.”

“We could be friends in this one,” Kiara replies, amused. “I’ll press the button for the emergency help and I’m sure they’ll have us out of here soon.”

“I hope so,” Mandy replies, anxiously checking the time. “I really hope so.”

“Do you want a granola bar?” Kiara asks to give her something to do, fishing through her purse. Mandy looks at her and nods eagerly, already reaching for the wrapper. She unpeels it like a banana and then chews it from the top-down. It reminds her vaguely of a chipmunk and Kiara has to smother her laugh to keep it from escaping.

“Do you thig I’ll be able to find anutha job after I’m fired?” Mandy asks her through a mouthful of oats. Kiara smiles and crosses her arms across her chest.

“I don’t think they’ll fire you for their elevator being faulty,” she replies.

“Right, right,” Mandy mutters, chewing at her nails. They’re painted bright orange, like a dying sunset. “As long as the elevator is on the seventh floor by 7:55, I can run to 7M112 and still make it in time for my 8 o’clock.”

As if it’s heard her plea, the elevator rocks back to life, slowly beginning its ascent one more.

“Thank god,” Mandy breathes, one hand over her heart. 

The doors slide open on the seventh floor and Mandy’s halfway out the elevator before she suddenly turns around.

“THANKYOUFORTHEGRANOLABARIGOTTARUNNOWITWASNICETOMEETYOU!” she shouts all in one breath before she takes off running.

In her haste to leave, something slips from her grasp and clatters onto the floor. Mandy doesn’t notice as she sprints away and it’s up to Kiara to pick up the forgotten item. She kneels down on the carpet and turns it over.

A plastic badge stares back at her, Mandy’s grimacing profile plastered onto the front.7M112, was it? Kiara shakes her head and runs out after her.

[bidisasterevankinard]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday🔥

tagged by @wikiangela @911onabc thank you💙💙💙

I did a little writing today of smut fic(trying to learn to write it) and well then I've lost my inspiration so maybe comments will give it back

I call it (for now ofc) Eddie rails Buck into mattress (good for Buck)

As soon as they are alone, even before Buck can turn to him, Eddie puts his hand on the hips of his boyfriend and turns him to take possession of his lips in a wild kiss in which Eddie immediately shows who is in charge today, pushing Buck towards the door so hard that the sound of the hit reverberates throughout the empty house.

Eddie, without even ending the kiss, pins Buck’s hands to the door with one of his hands and spreads his long legs with his thigh using his other hand on the hip to push Buck on his thigh and make him grind on it. 

Breaking the kiss, enjoying the cherry-red plump lips for a second, Eddie clings to Buck's lips again, but only to bite and pull his lower lip, which causes his boyfriend to groan loudly. 

Then Eddie kisses from Buck's lips along his face line, really considering leaving a mark on his jawline to punish him for all the work teasing, but postpones this idea for later, first he wants to make sure Buck will be ok with it.

“You were such a menace to all this week. All your tight clothes, bendings, inappropriate comments and the way you ate this banana the other day? It made me hard so many times when it was not the place, and now you will pay for it, baby,” Eddie groans it near Buck’s ear and revels in the way Buck blushes and the feeling of his cock twitching while still resting near Eddie's thigh.

“I-I did nothing,” Buck’s angelic face even with almost dark eyes and blush all over his face and sinfully red from kisses lips might deceive someone else, but Eddie knows his boyfriend too well to think it wasn’t purposeful. 

“Oh yes, even when you were bending in the harness for five minutes when we were checking equipment yesterday? Hands stay where I put them,” Eddie starts to unbutton Buck’s shirt and leaves kisses on all the skin he frees from clothes, smirking on the way Buck’s hands didn’t move even a little when he removed his hand.

“You had no need to check it so long on you with your ass up,” Eddie’s done with shirt and put one of his hands on Buck’s ass, squeezing his asscheek hard and again guiding Buck so that he rubs against his thigh, which he still holds between Buck's legs. 

“But you made sure I can see your ass like that perfectly shaped with harness,” Buck moans again and Eddie thinks they should move it a little deeper into the house if he doesn't want the whole street to know what they're doing now, not that he would be completely pitiful if someone can hear how well he makes Buck feel. 

“When it would be so easy to come and put your pants down and fuck you right there, but we were at work, where people was around, and some of them saw it,” Eddie growls remembering how he heard comments from someone from B-shift about his boyfriends ass, but he knows it’s his and only his.

“So how I said tonight you will pay for it,” Eddie one more time squeezes Buck’s ass. “In the bedroom now,”  he pulls Buck by the hand into their bedroom.

Tagging if they want to share : @honestlydarkprincess @alyxmastershipper @transbuck @cowboy-buddie @lover-of-mine @heartshapedvows @bekkachaos @giddyupbuck @buddierights @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @wildlife4life @hippolotamus @transboybuckley @devirnis @loserdiaz @spotsandsocks @monsterrae1 @spaceprincessem @userdisaster @caroandcats @mandzuking17 @translasso @jesuisici33 @bigfootsmom @jeeyuns @forthewolves @paranoidbean @eddiediaztho @jobairdxx and anyone who wants to share

[tpwk-formula1]

Hello! Can make an order for cauliflower crust, with red sauce, toppings of sausage, basil, banana peppers, spinach, toasted mushrooms, roasted artichokes, bbq chicken, cherry tomatoes and turkey sausage with diet coke, water and truly and yes for the dessert. Served by Toto Wolff. 🤭Thank you. ❤️

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

cauliflower crust sunshine x grumpy red sauce rough sex sausage "Better not waste a drop" turkey sausage "Only the best for my girl" basil "I love to watch my cum leak from your pretty pussy" cherry tomatoes "I can't wait to watch you swell with my babies" banana peppers "Look so pretty riding my cock" spinach "Awe I love to know I stretched you out just enough to take all my cock" roasted mushrooms “Fucking you so good you I can see myself in your tummy” roasted artichokes “im gonna put a baby in you” bbq chicken “Gonna let me cum in you? I know you wanna have my baby” coke spanking water breeding kink truly belly bulge dessert yes served by Toto Wolff

Toto x Sunshine! gf Reader

TW - fingering, oral (f receiving), multi orgasms, belly bulge, creampie, pregnancy

WC 1800+

Y/N POV

"Y/N get back up here," I hear Toto roughly tell me making me giggle as I continue into our closet ignoring the grumpy man.

"Patience, Toto," I tell him softly before closing the closet door behind me so Toto couldn't see what I was doing.

"Liebe, you've just been grinding on me for the past 15 minutes, that feels like plenty of patience," I hear Toto groan making me giggle while I continue to strip into the new lingerie set I wanted to show to Toto.

"You'll love it," I reply back softly but still being loud enough so Toto can hear.

"I would probably love it more if you were still in my lap," Toto groaned back while I opened the door to reveal the new lingerie set I had picked up when I went to the mall earlier in the day.

"I mean, I can put my other clothes back on and get back on your lap," I joke softly to Toto making him groan and throw his head back slightly.

"Fuck, im gonna put a baby in you,” Toto groans making me smirk softly before climbing back into his lap.

"You would love that huh?" I joke slightly making Toto look at me seriously.

"No, liebe I'm being serious, you will be the mother of my children in the next year if I can help it," Toto tells me softly making me start grinding into his lap again, the thought of being pregnant with Toto's babies turning me on further.

"Fuck with the way you're grinding on me you're gonna have let me cum in you. I know you wanna have my baby," Toto groans making me pull him in for a kiss.

"Yes, cum in me tonight," I beg softly, grinding down harder into Toto's lap needing more stimulation.

"I just realized when we have a baby you're really gonna be daddy Toto," I saw with a smirk making Toto roll his eyes at my antics.

"Oh shush you," Toto teases while pulling me back in for a kiss. I was pulling at the white tee Toto was wearing needing it off.

"I wanna touch you please," I gasp against Toto's lips when he holds my hands away from his body.

"You already are," Toto says while pulling back slightly and giving me a raised brow.

"I need more," I whine bouncing in his lap slightly.

"Look like a child throwing a tantrum," Toto says with a pointed look. He wasn't wrong with the way I was bouncing in his lap and whining I looked like a child who was just told no at the candy shop.

"Please, Toto," I beg again while tugging at the end of his shirt making him roll his eyes but still sit up slightly to full his shirt off making me smile.

I'm instantly rubbing my hands up and down Toto's chest and stomach humming softly in contentment.

Toto pulls me back in for a kiss letting my hands continue to wander while I'm grinding down on Toto's hard cock.

"Please, I wanna ride you," I beg against Toto's lips where he just pulls back and smirks softly before he turns me over so my back is against the mattress with Toto between my thighs above me.

Toto is running his large fingers over the pretty lingerie set groaning when his fingers brush over my peaked nipples making me gasp as the feeling.

"Please," I whine and buck my hips trying to get Toto's face where I need him.

"Patience, love," Toto gruffs out making me whine slightly but stop my bucking.

Toto starts trailing kisses around my lower tummy and to my inner thighs before he places a soft kiss on my covered pussy making me moan softly. Toto wasted no time in pulling my lingerie set to the side and diving her tongue in.

"Oh Toto," I moan when I feel Toto pull my clit into his mouth sucking on it.

"So good," I'm gasping when Toto slips two fingers deep into my pussy.

"Fuck, I can feel you clenching," Toto groans, speeding up his actions.

"Toto, I'm getting close," I moan out when I feel my orgasm creeping up only making Toto speed up his actions on my pussy making me scream out as I fall over the edge cumming all over Toto's fingers.

Once Toto helps me ride my orgasm out he pulls his fingers out and quickly shoves them into my mouth making me lick them clean before he shoves them farther down my throat making me gag around them. He just smirks at me slightly before he pulls his fingers out letting me breath properly.

"Thank you," I gasp out once I've caught my breath.

"Only the best for my girl," Toto groans making me smile. Toto starts pulling my lingerie set off making sure to be gentle to not rip any of the delicate fabric.

"I think that is the slowest you have ever undressed me," I tease making Toto give me a pointed look before a smile breaks out on his face.

"I wanna see you in it when you're pregnant with my baby," Toto said with a smirk making me giggle softly. Once I am completely bare under Toto he climbs out of bed and pulls his briefs off leaving him completely bare for my eyes to rake over.

"God, you have no shame," Toto says making me look up at him as my face turns red.

"You look so good," I reply back letting my eyes trail over his body once again, making Toto laugh softly.

Toto comes back to where I'm lying on my back before he roughly flips me over onto my hands and knees before I feel him land a harsh slap on my ass making me whimper slightly.

"Oh fuck," I moan when I feel him send down another slap on the other cheek.

"I love this perfect ass," Toto says roughly while gripping my ass in his hands before he sends both of his hands down on my ass making me moan at the feeling, each slap going start to my core.

Once Toto has slapped and rubbed my ass enough he finally sips his cock deep into my core making me moan when I feel him push all the way in.

"Oh fuck," I moan loudly making Toto speed his thrusts up quickly turning my moans into silent screams.

"Awe I love to know I stretched you out just enough to take all my cock," Toto teases while pounding into my harder knwoing when we first got together he was far to large to be able to fuck me like this.

"Fuck," I scream when Toto starts hitting my sweet spot over and over again.

"Can I ride please," I beg through strangled breathes.

"Fuck yes," Toto groans while flipping our bodies so I was riding his cock.

"Oh god," I moan when I'm fully sitting on Toto's cock and he's hitting all my sweet spots in a different angle.

"Look so pretty riding my cock," Toto groans out as I continue bouncing on his cock finally finding my tempo.

"Oh! Toto," I scream out when Toto starts thrusting up to meet my thrusts making everything more intense.

I could feel another orgasm building up making me start clenching around Toto in preparation.

"Fuck, how are you already gonna cum again," Toto groans now using my body to bounce him on my cock.

"Please," I cry out feeling myself right on the edge of cumming.

"Cum for me," Toto groans out making me cry out as I start cumming all over Toto's cock. I was cumming so hard that some of my pleasure even squirted out soaking Toto's abdomen.

"Fuck! God, you get impossibly tight every time you cum around my cock," Toto groans as he lifts me off his cock making me whimper at the loss. But I am quickly moaning again when Toto flips us over and shoves his cock back into my pussy once we were situated in missionary.

"Toto," I moan out when Toto starts fucking into my pussy at a brutal pace instantly stealing my breath away.

“Fucking you so good you I can see myself in your tummy,” Toto says making me look down to notice the small bump of his cock fucking into me making me moan. After several years of Toto and I being together it wasn't an uncommon sight but fuck did it turn me on everytime I noticed it.

"Fuck, please," I gasp not really sure what I was asking for.

"Already cum twice tonight and still begging for more," Toto groans sending a harsh slap down on my inner thigh making me whimper which is quickly replaced with a moan when Toto brings his fingers down to my clit and gives it a little rub.

"So good," I whine.

"You wanna cum for me?" Toto grunts out making me moan a quick yes.

"Cum with me," Toto grunts speeding his thrusts up making me instantly fall over the edge pulling Toto with me both of us cumming together.

"Fuck," Toto and I moan at the same time. Toto made sure to ride our orgasms out before he quickly slips out of my sore pussy watching his cum start to leak from my pussy.

"I love to watch my cum leak from your pretty pussy, but tonight I want as much as possible to stay in and you better not waste a drop" Toto tells me while pushing some of it back in with his fingers making me whine in overstimulation.

Once Toto slips his fingers back out he offers them to me making me wrap my lips around his two fingers and sucking them clean tasting mostly Toto's cum but I can also get a hint of my pleasure in there as well.

Toto quickly slips out of bed getting a rag to clean me up before climbing back into bed and pulling me to his chest.

"Do you really want a baby?" I question softly making Toto laugh softly.

"Yes," Toto simply states before pulling me in tighter and both of us letting sleep consume us.

5 weeks later

"Toto, you bloody bastard! You actually got me fucking pregnant," I saw while the both of us stare down at the positive pregnancy test.

When I look back up at Toto he has a massive smirk across his face before he's pulling me into his chest letting my back rest against his chest while he rubs small circles on my tummy.

"I can't wait to watch you swell with my babies," Toto tells me softly as I watch his hands rub across my tummy making me realize just how real this all is.

"There's a baby in there," I say softly while putting my hands over Toto's soaking in the moment a little longer.

"I hope it's a little girl," Toto tells me softly making a smile spread across my face.

"I'll be happy with whatever but I would love a little girl," I tell Toto softly making him smile with me.

[spilledquinoa]

as my sibling and I have a running quotes list, I would like to add some lines that I think would be pretty fun with Sephiroth, Angeal, Genesis, Zack, and Cloud. enjoy.

Sephiroth

"All I know is MAIL"

"Who made blood?" "yes"

"one (1) singular street fight"

"so basically it's China or cancer"

"you're walking inordinately slow" (probably Zack or somethin) "WELL YOU'RE WALKING BIG WORD FAST"

"I don't discriminate" (Genesis,most likely) "but I do"

"there's a mistake" "unacceptable" "...that was yours"

"it feels like my brain is being deep-fried in acetone"

"hey, how's it going?" "terrible, thanks for asking"

"I'm like a twelve year old with dementia"

Angeal

"I'm not going to shotgun a caprisun"

"that's enough please, stop beating me with a pineapple"

"where can I put my taco??" "in your pocket" "w h a t"

"I like feeding the geese on my own terms, don't want em quacking at me"

"They're turkeys, but not cute turkeys (troublemakers) like my kids. no, these are turkeys that might get shot for thanksgiving and I'm not sorry about it"

"GET BACK HERE GERALD"

"WHO WOULD SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM, IN A SCOTTISH ACCENT, AT A FUNERAL?!"

"Mr Coach A, if you wan to be formal"

"...why are you pretending to smoke a pencil?"

"I'm not a priest, I had my chance"

"you can't make a worse drink if you only have water"

Genesis

"STOP TALKING OR I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR MOUTH"

"imagine grinding up someone's teeth! on the internet! for views!"

"my sexuality is a twister wheel"

"Heidegger likes ritz...?"

"HOJO CAN'T READ"

"are you saying that orphans are losers cause they're orphans??" "would you say they're winners then?"

"excuse you, I don't get any bitches because I have a *maiden*"

calling Catherine Howard, fifth wife of Henry the VIII a hussy

"we believe something is beautiful because it can end"

"tear me apart and make me your villain"

Zack

"nipulars"

"hypothetically, if sonic slapped a raw chicken 95,850 times in the span of 9.6 picoseconds (a picosecond is one trillionth of a second) the chicken would be cooked"

"are you about to have a breakdown or are you about to break it down?"

"gimme a spicy second"

"is it a bird? is it a plane? it's Vagina Man!"

"call me Shrek cause I'm swamped"

"prepare yourself, I'm gonna shit my pants"

"SUCK IT BOZO"

"meatghetti and spaghettballs"

"OKAY MR-I-KNOW-HOW-TO-READ"

"what's good for the goose is good for the other goose"

"they were a hero" "I didn't want them to be a hero, I wanted them to live."

"I'll fill you in on the baseball lore"

"there's a *Denny's*"

"the energy of a single banana"

Cloud

"start crying, you'll get sympathy points"

"I'M GOING TO DANCE ON YOUR BONES"

"HOW DOES WINNIE THE POOH AND TAOISM RELATE??"

"well guess what Joey; I can still punch you in the balls"

"I HOPE YOU'RE LONELY"

"you know, I didn't think I'd screw up a lot but here we go"

"we're doing ballet bitch"

"he's rich" "what else is he" "a present"

"I keep on saying prostitution instead of prosecution"

"why are we talking about Caesar like he's Regina George"

"upchuck...vomit...do the hokey pokey..."

"that REEKS of my point"

*playing video games* "I'm now bald, can rip out street lights, and use motorcycles as weapons" "and you start out with BALD?" "it's his most defining trait"

"SHUT UP YOU BITCH ASS HOBO"

there is more than enough for a part two btw

[noisyquokka]

Could I request a blurb with kevin from the boyz where we get stuck at home during a snowstorm but then eventually have to go back to work/school, the regular grind ig? Fluffy and cute stuff plz ^-^

The Place To Be

PAIRING - Kevin x GN!Reader

SYNOPSIS - Spending three days in the house can easily bring on cabin fever. Well, except when Kevin's around... It's even harder to get back on schedule when he's actively doing his best to keep you near.

WORDCOUNT - 1.9k

WARNINGS - Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, sarcastic comments/insults incoming (It's just that kinda relationship), just two (2) dorks doing cute shit together and being cute together, Kevin being a menace

A/N - So it's not a blurb (I'm basically incapable of writing anything under 1k words) but I hope you enjoy it all the same!💛 Edit: I'd like to formally apologize for thinking I posted this like 3 weeks ago when it, in fact, sat in the drafts 🤡 send me to the pit of flames, y'all!

"Good God, how many shades of the same yellow does one paint kit need!?" Kevin shakes his head, squeezing the tiny tube of Cadmium onto the palette. He's sitting beside you, working on a paint-by-number piece that he'd bought months ago. What better time to crack it open than today? You turn your head to the canvas, taking in his progress.

"Those are not the same shade, Kev." You point to the few yellows you assume he's referring to, along with the one he'd just added to his palette. "That's a light yellow compared to this one. This is more of a lemon." You reach for two others; Golden and Saffron. "And these are two different shades, babe."

"Golden, Lemon, Banana Cream, Pineapple, Pear. I don't see a difference!"

"And you call yourself an artist... pfft." It's a mumble that's loud enough for him to hear, one that earns you the bump of his knee into yours under the table. You chuckle in response, bringing your palm to rest under your chin.

His eyes rove over the canvas, and you can see the cogs turning in your boyfriend's head as he figures out how to twist this paint-by-number into his own little masterpiece. The box was labeled Cottage in the Mountains but you knew Kevin. He'd add his own little touch to the canvas in the end.

"I know I'm hot, but quit staring, babe!"

"Oh, so hot that the snow is still falling." you pipe up, sarcasm thick in your tone. Kevin places a hand on his chest dramatically, rubbing at his pec as if you've wounded him. He leans into you, pressing a kiss to your hairline before he diverts his attention back to the tubes of paint.

"Felt that one deep in my chest, at least five years off my life." He presses another kiss to your nose, finding the smirk on your lips when he pulls away. "You trying to kill me off early?"

"Ugh, you got me. I'm actually an assassin." You reach for one of the painting knives on the table, running your fingers over the blade like a villain in a movie. "Unfortunate that I have to break it to you when we're stuck in this house together, snowed in... no one to come looking for you..."

"Well, when you say it like that." he trails, taking the knife from you. He's so unbothered, too used to this back and forth that you two have conjured as your love language. The corners of your lips curl up in a grin, and you bring your hand up to cradle his jaw, pressing your lips against his cheek in a quick kiss.

"You are the only thing saving me from this hell. So thank you for staying with me." you say. Kevin chuckles, dipping his brush into the dollop of Cadmium.

"We live together, you know." 

"Well yeah, but you could've chosen to paint in the office or something."

"But I didn't." The paintbrush moves over the canvas with sparse flicks of a wrist, the man's attention taken up by the careful strokes of his workspace. Your smile hadn't faded by much, but watching him work brightened it like morning glories.

"No, you didn't." you murmur. You get up from your seat, carding your fingers through his hair before leaving a kiss on top of his head. 

It's a simple thing, really; with below-zero wind chills and a snow band that wouldn't let up, you two were stuck inside. The whole town had shuttered with the storm, putting the safety of the citizens above all else, which in turn, canceled any non-essential traveling. With the snow falling at a pretty good clip, plows couldn't clear the streets fast enough. Living in a cold climate long enough had humbled you, and you easily knew when it wasn't worth going out. It also taught you how to make a mean chicken and veggie soup. Speaking of...

The paintbrush halts its movement over the canvas, brown eyes sliding back to where you disappear into the kitchen. His stomach rumbles, those familiar scents of seared chicken and simmered vegetables distracting him from his work. Kevin finishes the bit of paint off before cleaning off his used brushes, standing from the dining table and padding after you.

"Need any help?" He smiles, watching the moment your head turns to find his form standing in the doorway. You wave him over, stirring the soup in the Dutch oven. Long arms find their respective place around your torso, pulling you slightly away from the stovetop flame.

"You're like a dog," you mutter, setting the ladle down on the counter. You turn to face him, his fingers sweeping your midriff with the action, leading him backward until his hip meets the island. "always sneaking into the kitchen, nosing around for scraps."

"Does that mean I get whatever my heart desires?" He leans against the marble, dipping his head down till his forehead bumps yours.

"Depends." you reply with a sly grin, hands sliding over the fabric of his hoodie. "What exactly are you looking for?"

Your question is met with a cheeky smile and a raised brow, strong hands slipping around your waist.

"Nothing too demanding, just you and me cuddling on the couch after we eat?" The corner of his mouth quirks up, and he cocks his head to the side. "And a taste of that soup?"

You twist away from his grasp, bringing your attention back to the stove. The soup simmers on medium heat, steam rising above the broth as you stir the menagerie in the pot. You hum to yourself, feign thinking it over. Kevin's arms catch you as you instinctively lean back into his chest, fingers trailing over your side. After a moment, the ladle is placed on the counter again, and you reach to the left to wretch the drawer open for a spoon. It's all the answer Kevin needs.

“Nothing too demanding?” you finally ask, a teasing lilt in your voice. The remark is too easy to pass up cracking jokes, and it earns you a breathy laugh as your boyfriend rests his chin on your shoulder.

"Maybe later, if you're feeling up to it." He matches your humorous teasing easily, following it with a kiss on your shoulder. You bite back a smile, taking the spoon to the pot with a careful hand, a sample taste that you blow on before turning to your boyfriend. You keep your free hand under the spoon as he takes a sip from the utensil, licking his lips just like a dog.

"Perfect!" he replies, eyes soft as he glances down at you. Fingers glide up the wrist that's holding the spoon, stealing it easily to go back for seconds.

"Biased!" you counter, reaching for the spice rack.

"For you? Always," Kevin admits, taking another sample from the pot. "But your comfort food always tastes the best."

"I'm not sure if that's an insult or a compliment to my cooking skills."

"Both." The word falls off his tongue quickly, and you scoff.

"Don't go eating it all, there's still ten minutes left on the timer!" You swat his hand away from the pot, stealing the spoon back with a half-hearted glare.

"Is that your way of telling me patience is a virtue?" he questions, taking you back into his grip. He catches the sidelong glance you spare - the shoulder that you shove back into him in retaliation - and he grins. 

"That's exactly what I'm saying." You take from the few spices you've used in the soup already, adding a little more into the pot. Kevin intently watches you work, a looming heat over your shoulder that warms you more than the flame in front of you. He doesn't let go of you when you finally back away from the stove, opting to pull you with him until he's once again leaning against the counter and you're pressed against his chest. With seven minutes left on the timer, you let your attention drift to the man clinging to your waist.

Large hands sweep up your back and pull you closer, brown eyes locked with yours for a brief moment. Patience practiced, his gaze briefly drops to your lips and then he’s leaning in, a gentle brush of his against yours that has you instinctually wrapping your arms around his neck. The warmth of his breath makes the hairs on your neck stand like electricity coursing through your veins. You nuzzle your nose playfully against his, earning yourself a lazy grin.

The space between you dwindles to nothing once he captures your lips in a kiss. It's soft and sweet, a simple little thing that has a smile pulling at your lips, and suddenly the kitchen is the coziest place to be. Kevin's ears twitch at the sound of your laughter, heard in between liplocks and small pecks.

The best sound he's ever heard.

It's when you lean into him and curl your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck that he pulls away, pressing his forehead into yours. Just in time for the timer to go off.

It's like this for the three days that you're stuck at home; a simple routine that you quickly grow accustomed to as the hours drag on. While you don't mind sticking it out with your boyfriend, you're not against the idea of racing out into the yard to bury yourself under the several feet of snow that has fallen. Kevin makes it bearable when he's got you wrapped up on the couch or in bed, nothing more than the sound of your collective breathing and tangled legs under blankets.

It only becomes a problem when the snow has ceased and snow removal has wrapped up.

"Kevin, baby, I have to get up!"

You're still in bed, imprisoned in your boyfriend's embrace while you watch the minutes quickly deplete for you to get ready for your shift. Kevin whines into your neck, his arms tightening when you try to pry them off.

"Don't you have sick days left?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Take a sick day." he pleads, eyes closed as he snuggles into you.

"You know I can't do that."

Cue the grumbling like a perturbed feline being chased from the bathroom sink. You can't help but laugh at the response, trying once again to escape the man's clutches. He only tightens his grip again.

"Kev, come on, now," you whisper, turning your head towards your boyfriend. "We've been stuck in the house for three days."

"Take a sick day," he repeats, mumbling the words against your neck. His lips are warm against the skin, nipping at the delicate flesh lazily before he lifts his head to meet your gaze.

"Please?"

It's hard to protest when he's looking at you like that; like you're his only reason for staying in bed another day. The heat of his body sinks into yours and you feel the protests on the tip of your tongue succumbing to the thumb massaging circles into your hip. To be completely honest with yourself, you'd be willing to skip work daily if you could stay wrapped up in Kevin's arms like this for the rest of your days.

You sigh softly, knowing your attempts to convince him to let you go are failing. The puppy eyes have won you over, and he'll melt any defenses you can muster up with them.

Your hand juts out for your phone, grabbing it from the nightstand. It's a quick unlock and a couple of taps, a quick call to your supervisor that you can't make it in due to the driveway being snowed in. A little white lie. When you hang up, you shoot your boyfriend a look.

"Happy?" you ask.

Kevin sighs contentedly, pulling you close as he makes himself comfortable again.

"Very."

Psst!! If you made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read my work 💕 I appreciate you!

[la-galaxie-langblr]

Uni Diaries 15/01/25 - 19/01/25

Image description: banana and raspberry porridge

15/01/25

Today I:

Woke up late again

Tackled some more life admin and made both a therapy and a doctor's appointment :D

Ate brunch

Did some budget planning

Looked at my syntax exam when it was released and wrote out a detailed plan to get it done

Took a break from work to talk to my housemates, we made a plan to get into uni tomorrow to study so hopefully we go through with it!!

Tutored

Ate dinner

Hung out with my housemates some more, the best evenings are when the conversation swings between deep and silly with no rhyme or reason!!

Daily joys:

I'm proud of myself for doing more scary admin things

One of my tutoring pupils is really struggling with the work but he made 1% progress today!!

Once again, friends <333 I'm so glad I got to move in with these people, we gel so well

Goals progress:

Went outside ❌ Studied French ❌ Bible Study ❌ (but did have a theological conversation w my housemates soooooooo not entirely a No ig??)

I did some initial research for volunteer activities I can do this semester, there's not much up yet which makes sense but there's always lots so I'm sure I'll be grand once everything gets started again after exams :)

Started my syntax exam, I've done decently in this module this semester so really hoping I can put in a good exam performance 🤞

16/01/25

Today I:

Woke up late (🤡), one of these days I'll get into my morning routine again!!

Went to uni with my housemate to study

Spent 5 hours on 1 section out of 7 for my exam 🤡

Got lunch and a sweet treat, my housemate and I barely made conversation over lunch, we were so mentally exhausted and Ben Affleck Smoking image

Update 20/01/25 - I've been in the exam trenches and every day has been very similar in terms of wake up, breakfast, study, lunch, study, walk, tutor, dinner, study, hangout, bedtime, I'm too tired to post updates and they're not very exciting atm anyway skfnskfbksbf, hence why I gave up halfway through the 16th

But basically I submitted my syntax exam on time and I'm pretty proud of it, and I'm currently prepping for my last two exams this week, I have English-French translation on Wednesday and pragmatics on Friday, I'm very stressed about pragmatics cus there's a huge topic I have nearly 0 understanding of but at least that's motivation to get cracking? Anyways time to get back to the grind 🫡

[il-predestinato]

I am very curious about "A Modern Fairytale in Five Parts (aka. Once Upon a Time in Monte Carlo)" :))))) <3

Oh yes, the fairytale AU I've been struggling with for 1.5 years. 😅

title: Once Upon a Time in Monte Carlo

summary: A retelling of the very cursed 2021 Monaco Grand Prix. In which there is a prince in distress (Charles), an evil witch (Christian), a poisoned apple banana, a countdown rose in a jar, a bunch of suitors (the entire grid), and a desperate search for True Love's Kiss. 5+1, Charles/Max with a tiny bit of Charles/Everyone.

I shared an excerpt from it before, so you can read that first for a little more context. 😁

Another excerpt (from "Chapter 2: LANDO NORRIS"):

He gets a bloody podium. He’s on the podium with two of his closest friends. Except the podium celebrations have as much cheer as a funeral procession. The bottles of champagne remain untouched; neither Max nor Carlos could muster the enthusiasm to spray their bottles. He spied Max handing off his bottle to Christian Horner, who could not have looked more smug.

Lando wouldn’t put it past the guy to be responsible for Valtteri’s wheel nut failing to come off during the pit stop. (Both Zak and Andreas privately voiced their suspicions about the so-called “Witch King of Red Bull” … all right, maybe the nicknames were a little overboard, but Christian is still a right bastard.) The weekend could not have gone more perfectly for Red Bull.

Not that it seemed to matter to Max, who looked like he was ready to dart away the moment he entered parc fermé. Lando suspects he would have if they didn’t have obligatory post-race interviews. And even with that, there was scarcely a question that didn’t revolve around Charles.

At the end of it all, Lando is frankly exhausted. At this point, he’ll settle for a quiet dinner and getting his ass kicked at FIFA by Carlos.

Lando catches up with Carlos outside the Ferrari garage (and God, this place is depressing… one would think someone died in that garage). The Spaniard is in the middle of a sizeable gathering of F1 drivers - Max is there, along with Pierre, George, Seb, Gio, and Daniel.

“What do you mean that you also tried?” hisses Max, folding his arms at Pierre.

The Frenchman throws his former teammate a withering look that seems to question his intelligence at the same time. “Exactly what I mean, Max. He’s my best friend! I had to try.”

“You mean you kissed him?” adds Daniel helpfully.

Max sputters with a half cough, half choke. Daniel thumps his back vigorously, while Pierre graces both of them with an exaggerated sigh. “Merci, Sherlock, for clarifying.”

“Why would you do that?” Lando blurts out, joining the crowd.

Pierre looks at them like they were all lacking in wits. “His love interests are not exactement limited to women.” A bunch of goldfish expressions stare back at him; Pierre sighs again. “Really, guys, it’s 2021.”

A moment later, they’re all talking at once and talking over each other.

“Well, this really changes the game -”

“A much bigger pool -”

“Do you think he has a secret male lover -”

“Could still be a woman, you know -”

“Holy crap, do we all have to kiss him?”

“Try not to sound so eager, Dan -”

“Fuck, I’d do it without the curse -”

“Jesus, DAN!”

Lando clears his throat loudly. “If Pierre couldn’t wake him up, why would any of you guys succeed? He’s the closest to Charles. If it’s any of us, it would be Pierre.”

Carlos tilts his head thoughtfully. “Charles and Pierre are more like brothers. I think true love’s kiss is meant in - ah, how do you say it - the more biblical sense?”

“Romantic,” corrects Dan. “More face-sucking than air kisses, more naked grinding than soft cuddles, more deep throat -”

“I think we get it,” interrupts Seb, and Lando has never been more grateful to the former Ferrari driver.

Then Max, who had been rather morosely silent amongst all the clamour, speaks up for the first time. “Maybe… maybe it doesn’t hurt to try. It - it couldn’t hurt if there’s a chance of waking him?”

“I agree with Max,” Carlos pipes up, and Lando feels a twist of dread gnawing in his stomach. “He spends so much time on the road, in the paddock, with the team, and with all of us. What if it’s one of us?”

George shrugs. “I don’t suppose it would hurt to try.” He grins at Daniel. “There are worse things than kissing Charles.”