#we back on that banana grind

[cornkernelle]

I. Really like Banana Eel... Do you have any funny facts about him. Also I would give Lady Plantain a kiss if she let me

Oh, that I do! Let's go down the list of lil fun facts 1) He attracts symbols of bad luck. Thanks to his curse, black cats and ravens mysteriously start flocking to him. When he walks by a horse shoe decoration, it's "loose screw" makes it flip upside down!

2) He has a habit of inspecting cookies he meets often whenever he can. The reason why?

He wants to make sure when he makes sculptures of them, they're accurate! He doesn't show these to anyone, it's just something he enjoys doing to pass the time.

3) Depending on his mood, the visibility of his pupils change! This isn't always negative nor intentional.

That's it for the facts.. But on another note-

Since you ask so nicely, here's a kiss from the spitfire herself! Im so happy you all like her HEHHEEHH because I do toooooo~

Hope you're okay with a bit of calamity rubbing off on you after you give him a hug, bud, cause that's what you're gonna get. Hence the confusion.

[bananasofthorns]

THE HYPERFIXATION (I was working on dnd stuff and blinked and suddenly it was 8:30pm and I hadn't eaten dinner)

[tpwk-formula1]

Hiii! Just read your fist pizza order and I looooved it so I thought I might as well give you some writing to do!

Could I please have a pizza with cauliflower crust, Alfredo sauce, banana peppers and broccoli? With some sprite and lemonade and dessert please! And served by franco (I need him to be the sunshine in this)!

Thank you so so much 🥰🥰

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

cauliflower grumpy x sunshine Alfredo sauce sweet sex banana peppers "Look so pretty riding my cock" broccoli "Made just for me huh?" sprite size kink lemonade body worship dessert yes served by Franco Colapinto

Franco x grumpy! girlfriend

TW A short one, morning sex, riding, unprotected sex

WC 800+

Y/N POV

"Good morning pretty girl," Franco mumbles when he starts to wake up from my nails running across his shirt-covered back. He starts turning onto his side and pulling me slower to his chest making me groan.

"It's too early," I mumble back making Franco giggle softly at my morning moodiness.

"Why is it that your alarm always wakes me up and never you?" I question with an arched brow making Franco's face heat slightly from being called out before he just shrugs. He'd much rather wake up to his girlfriend's touch anyway.

"Come on baby, we have a big day!" Franco says with far too much excitement making me bury my face back into his chest not waiting to leave the bed.

"No," I grumble gripping onto the back of Franco's shirt not wanting him to get out of the bed either.

"Come on," Franco says dragging out the "n".

"20 minutes," I say coldly making Franco giggle but relax slightly into my arms.

"Gonna make us late baby," Franco says but still making not move to get out of bed.

"Babe, we don't need to be in the paddock for another 3 hours, 20 minutes wont kill us," I tell him making him shrug.

"Just excited for my first race," Franco says with a smile on his face making me smile softly at him.

It was Monza race day which means it's Franco's first Grand Prix in Formula 1 and he has been extremely anties the whole time.

"I know, and I'm happy for you," I tell him softly before pulling him in for a soft kiss.

What was supposed to be just a quick peck slowly turns into a heated makeout session, resulting in me climbing into Frnaco's lap and grinding down on his hardening cock.

"Fuck baby, we don't have time," Franco groans making me grind down harder, making both of us whine at the pleasure coursing through us.

"Please, we have time," I say while pulling off the shirt I had slept in the night before. I start pushing Franco's shirt up to reviel his tones abs and chest when I instantly lean down and start kissing him neck and chest before pushing myself down a little further pulling his boxers down slightly before pulling his cock into my mouth for a soft suck making Franco groan.

"Fuck baby, so good," Franco groans when I start bobbing my head softly.

"We'll be quick," I say as if he needed any further convincing.

"Come ride me, baby," Franco says clearly having no patience. I just giggle and roll my eyes at his neediness before climbing back into Franco's lap and sinking down his cock when I pull my thong to the side.

"Fuck," I groan at the stretch before I slowly start rocking my hips trying to gain stimulation before I start bouncing up and down making Franco moan.

"Look so pretty riding my cock," Franco moans out softly making my face heat up slightly at the praise.

"It's so good baby," I mumble softly.

"Fuck, always so good for me," Franco groans moving his hands to my hips and giving them a hard squeeze before he starts helping me bounce on his cock.

"I'm close," I moan out already starting to get shakey legs, which has Franco flipping us over so he was now hovering over me and pounding into my pussy making me moan and whine at the stimulation.

"Fuck," I moan when the new angle has Franco hitting a new spot deep in my pussy.

"It's like you were made just for me, Huh?" Franco states bringing a hand down to my clit making me clench around his cock ready to cum.

"Please can I cum," I beg needing my release.

"Cum for me," Franco groans before sending me over the edge into a strong orgasm and squeezing around Franco's cock making him pull out and cum all over my tummy.

Once both Franco and I have come down from our highs he slowly climbs out of bed and pulls his boxers off all the way before pulling my thong off and picking me up and taking me into the bathroom.

Once he turns the shower on and lets the water heat up Franco takes my hand into his pulling me to join him.

We spent the next 20 minutes cleaning each other off before we got out and started getting ready for race day.

"Told you we had time," I saw with a smirk when we walked into the paddock hand and hand 15 minutes earlier than we needed to be.

Franco just laughs and shakes his head before kissing my forehead softly.

"Gonna get us in trouble one of these days," Franco says making me smirk and shrug.

"You wouldn't change it for the world though."

[tgcg]

this is my element (+ album)

asking me to pick my fave album is like asking an orphan matron to pick her favorite baby boy

thats some weird and cruel circumstances to put upon me i feel like it changes every damn week like a rota

i mean what if my beats misbehave and i gotta put 'em in time out i cant play permanent on that theyre too cute

but yknow what i can show you one thing thats been on my mind lately

===

so when i was a kid we had this skateboard vid by "element skateboards" on DVD

they were this skateboard kit slash apparel company that was all about progressivism and shit and they did these much lauded comp tapes of dudes riding around on their boards and doing the dopest of macho tricks on the shit

flipping it turnways

putting the rock in the house like a big man

we had some of their merch actually

===

so anyways the one we had back then was This Is My Element

released 2007

mostly clips from cali i think and i mean the camerawork is fucking insane on some of those shots

this is gonna sound lame as fuck but i prob spent so many cumulative hours just peelin through the footage and ogling the shit outta it

that framing was tight

===

so you may be asking yourself or me

dave you genuine dicksucker i asked about your fav album not your favorite sordid ass display of smooth dudes hardcore riding and grinding them boards in public dude you have a problem

ok well that wasnt a question first of all so jot that down

but anyways to THAT i say

listen to the music

the whole thing has an original soundtrack of ambient beats

got some abstract hip hop jams, got some more indie stuff, lots of acoustic sampling

HELLA underground

and basically every track minus one is done by sampler beast david p. madson AKA "odd nosdam"

dude is my hero seriously

he is the master of the beat machine i shit you not hes always been kinda my idol on this stuff

aside from bro obviously

===

obviously.

===

anyways he had an E-mu SP-1200 which is a really oldschool sampler invented by dave rossum in the late 80s

revolutionary to the hip hop scene

nosdam had this mega distinct sound to his music that i always wanted to replicate on my own beats

still do

i dont know for sure if he used it on T.I.M.E. but he uses some of the same samples from "vol. 9" which was exclusively SP-1200 so im gonna get a lil j’accuzi on that

it couldve been a boss dr sampler SP-202 though idk

he had one of those

===

so aside from beating the shit out of the pause/resume button to flip my whole cranium at the cinematography or whatever i would also kinda play it on loop to listen to the soundtrack and space out at 2am

the lonely broner seemed to free his mind at night

ok shit broner is good but i didnt mean it like that

that was goofy lets just keep movin

it was the only way i had to listen to it back then but i mean the video is 50 mins long so its basically just an odd nosdam album with accompanying ambient skater sounds and random expletives and whatever

random car sequence

yknow what i dont think people respect enough?

the dude who catches all the "mad stunts yo" on camera

i swear to god at least half the time hes ALSO on a board and that shit is bananas to me

bros gotta be on some whole other level of zen to skate good AND catch all them glamor shots of his fellow skater

thats like an express ticket to the ER imo

the ambulance is already on the scene watching you like an eager crow watches a half dead dog

===

ok gonna go ahead and lay it out flat

not great on a board myself

kinda dogshit at it actually

so maybe im not exactly an arbitrator of skateboard heinousness

but i always kinda liked watching THEM do it i mean who doesnt?

whats an even crazier layer to stack on the "dave" cake is

and dirk told me this because unfortunately it kinda happened post-2009

he would do all these collabs with one of my childhood favorite underground rappers david cohn aka serengeti

surrounded by daves left and right dude even before all the time travel horseshit

thats like

serendipitous as fuck i think!

===

if sburb was just a revolving door of artists called dave that i could bump fists with

instead of other mes in various states of aliveness tending toward extremely dead

i wouldve probably given it something higher than 2 stars on my TGN review

===

so yeah you ask me my favorite album its T.I.M.E. by odd nosdam i guess

bump that shit on a walk your mind will go places unknown to man

[kevin-the-bruyne]

I think the fact that we had two high profile actors have to take a step back from BL due to mental health issues in the last year alone and total 4 (krist james jimmy and chimon but also saint stepped back to bts and up also went that route before slowly dipping his feet back in) since I’ve gotten into this fandom should be an indicator that company’s need to be doing less not more.

Literally saw a fan complaining yesterday that FIRST KANAPHAN was being unfairly treated because he wasn’t getting enough work 😭😭😭 that man is literally never off my timeline how much more can he even work without dying?

When a company is doing 4 re-runs their teams are likely running on fumes and in a talent/ creator based industry you can’t just scale up endlessly resources are not unlimited. And sorry I took that so goddamn personally but burnout =/= incompetent.

They can’t just hire any fresh grad and expect them to work at the pace that the company needs them to. Even if they have talent they need to be trained and invested in and this has to happen at every level of production. There’s even a show coming out about it right now as we speak. I’m begging people to just open up a map of Thailand and realize just how small a country it is.

I can’t stand twitter because it’s an endless barrage of fans demanding demanding demanding for unreasonable things. Tumblr is my escape from that hustle and grind culture. And somehow we’ve managed to import that here.

I have the ability to mass block if I need to but also does anyone here have the ability to just chill the fuck out for a second. Like we have to be honest with ourselves here: I’m *not* a GMM fangirl you guys are just acting bananas.

[lixieisgod]

𝐺𝑌𝐴𝐿 𝑌𝑂𝑈 𝐴 𝑊𝐴𝐿𝐾𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑷𝑯𝒀 # !

𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑠⤷ there is like zero Caribbean representation in fics so you know ya girl has try to fix that shit. Caribbean girls on top🕺🏽 so it’s not right that we ain’t got shit. please reblog and lmk if y’all like this.

𝑠𝑦𝑛𝑜𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑠⤷ 𝐸𝑟𝑒𝑛 𝑌𝑒𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎 𝐶𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑. 𝐸𝑟𝑒𝑛 𝑌𝑒𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑥 𝐶𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑛! 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

since the night you and eren met at a party you’ve basically been inseparable since. you two have been together for a while now and it’s safe to say you guys are the IT couple.

lmfaoo at first when your friends would catch you simping they’d be like “what happens to gazah forever” and start laughing. But they mean well it’s all jokes they like seeing you and eren so happy with each other.

a few people thought it wouldn’t last that long, thinking he wouldn’t be able to handle you. BUT BABYY were there wrong ! you two have a good balance in your relationship, your energies align so well.

there’s no getting between you two. “my man tie me, I’m on him badd”

you were a little nervous at fist to let him meet your family, you know they can be a little judgmental sometimes but you weren’t too worried. Everything went really good when he met the fam. Your male relatives were a bit over protective but you can’t blame them too much, you’ll always be their baby.

At the family events he eats his weight in food lmfaoo. He’s a big fan of rotis, jerk chicken with white rice, green bananas and salt fish, as well as chutney. It melted your heart to see him enjoying traditional foods.

this man lives to see you dance, from the first grind he got at that party, he’s been hooked since. He’s actually got really good rhythm. So he’s great at any party, whether it’s holding onto your waist slow dancing with you singing the lyrics “ gyal, mi wan’ if hold yuh put me arms right around yuh” in his ear.

this one time you brought him to a family gathering and he danced western with the older ladies of the family, your grandma love him sm, he even calls her ma or mum.

this man can really turn tf up. like REALLY turn TF up. for example when you two are at a Bacchanal all his composure flies out the widow. But he never lets other girls try to dance with him and you do the same when it comes to other men.

lemme tell youuu, there’s a video of you two dirty dancing to vybez kartel at the fette. that shit was wildd like giving him mad fast wine and him positioning you with his hands on your lower back watching your movements

He loves when you make him breakfast, his favorite thing that you make him is fried bakes and cocoa tea. It’s like his comfort food at this point.

he loves hearing all the folklore stories, they’re so fascinating to him. he was low-key kinda scared when you told him you’d send a dupply after him as a joke.

He likes trying Caribbean snacks, he likes half frozen chubby and icelollies.

A DOMINOS FIEND !! your uncles and him were playing together and that shit was heateddd. He smacks the dominos hard asll lmfao. Your uncles lowkey started respecting him more after he won a few games.

He lovesss playing football in the rain with your cousins. your grandma puts oil in the middle of the head to make sure he doesn’t get sick.

LATE NIGHT DRIVES ARE A VIBEE. The two of you have this long ass playlist that you guys bump while driving in the middle of the night with the roof down.

Play from 0:45 before reading next slide

it’s the middle of the night and the two of you are speeding through the mostly empty streets with cold Heineken’s screaming the lyrics to the songs in you guy’s playlists. “ LONGING FOR MY BABY TO LOVE ME MOREE, WHAT AM I LONGING FOR? BABYLON RELEASE THE CURE” !

he sings you all of the old school love songs

he loves and appreciates you so freaking much, you’re the best thing in his life, and he lets everyone know it. you two are such a good couple.

© 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟯 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝗼 𝐥𝐢𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐢𝐬𝐠𝗼𝐝. 𝐂𝗼𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝗼𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝗼𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝗼𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝗼𝐧 𝗼𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝗼𝐫𝗺𝐬.

[awkward-walking-potato]

Hiiii! Happy spooky season. I have a request for wade Wilson with choosing couples costumes!!!!! 👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃 I'd love to see what u come up with!!

The Spirit of Wade

You sat at your desk, buried beneath a mountain of work. Papers, emails, spreadsheets—all of it had piled up over the last few weeks, and it felt like you were drowning. On top of that, Blind Al’s Halloween party was just around the corner, and you didn’t even have the time to think about costumes.

Your phone buzzed, the screen lighting up with a text from Wade.

Wadeykins:Babycakes, what’re we wearin’ to Al’s spooky bash?

You groaned, rubbing your temples. The last thing you had time for was a costume shopping spree.

You:I’m swamped with work, Wade. Can you go to Spirit Halloween and grab us something? I trust you.

The moment you hit send, you instantly regretted it. Trusting Wade with anything remotely important usually ended in chaos. But before you could follow up with any kind of instruction, a new text popped up.

Wadeykins:OMW to Spirit. Gonna make us the hottest couple at that party, babe.

You stared at the message for a long moment, then let out a resigned sigh. There was no going back now. Wade was on a mission, and you had work to finish. You figured you'd cross the "what did Wade do?" bridge when you got home.

By the time you got back to your apartment later that evening, your body was exhausted, and your brain felt like it had turned into mush from the day’s grind. All you wanted to do was change into something comfortable and forget about everything for a while. But the moment you opened the door, your heart sank as you were greeted by a sight that was equal parts adorable and terrifying.

Spread out across the living room floor were not one, not two, but ten matching couple costumes. Wade was in the center of it all, beaming like a proud toddler who’d just shown his parents his first macaroni art masterpiece.

“Welcome home, pumpkin muffin!” Wade greeted, jumping up from where he’d been sitting. His eyes twinkled mischievously beneath his mask. “I know you’re busy and all, so I took the liberty of providing options.”

You blinked, staring at the sea of costumes that now dominated your living room. “Wade… what… what is this?”

He clapped his hands together, rubbing them like a mad scientist about to unveil his latest invention. “Okay, okay, so check it out. Blind Al’s party is a big deal, right? We gotta be the it couple there. So I went ahead and got us ten different matching costumes. I know, I know, I’m basically a relationship genius.”

You were torn between exasperation and amusement, but the exhaustion from work melted away as Wade’s enthusiasm radiated through the room. With a sigh, you dropped your bag by the door and walked over to inspect his selections.

“Alright, what do we have here, then?” you asked, folding your arms.

Wade excitedly began showcasing each option, holding them up like a game show host showing off prizes.

“Couple number one!” Wade started, holding up two banana suits. “Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich!” He held up a jar of peanut butter with a wide grin. “Get it? You’ll be the sweet banana, and I’ll be the chunky peanut butter. It’s a classic combo, like us! Everyone loves PB and B.”

You snorted, shaking your head. “Not bad, but let’s keep going.”

“Couple number two!” Wade swept his arm dramatically toward the next option. A pair of hospital gowns—complete with matching IV drips. “Doctor and Sexy Patient! Except... we’re both patients because it’s sexier that way. Plus, I already have practice wearing hospital gowns, thanks to the whole ‘mutated cancer mess.’”

You bit your lip, trying not to laugh. “I think I’m gonna veto that one.”

“Fair, fair.” Wade shrugged. “Couple number three!” He held up a pair of inflatable T-rex costumes. “Dinosaur Power Couple! Imagine us stomping into the party in these bad boys. We’ll be unstoppable!”

“That sounds... sweaty.”

“Yeah, but think of the dramatic entrance!”

You chuckled. “Next.”

Wade dramatically threw his hands into the air and skipped to the next set. “Couple number four:Bob Ross and Happy Little Tree!” He waved around a giant paintbrush and an afro wig. “I’ll be Bob, you’ll be my masterpiece! I can paint you with compliments all night.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Sweet, but no.”

Wade was undeterred. He spun toward another option, holding up matching black-and-white striped shirts. “Thieves in Love! We could go around the party, stealing snacks and hearts.”

You laughed. “Okay, that’s pretty cute.”

“Right? But wait, there’s more!” Wade dashed to the next set. “Ketchup and Mustard! Or Salt and Pepper! Or Burger and Fries!” Each matching pair was more ridiculous than the last, and each idea more absurd. You couldn’t stop laughing as Wade enthusiastically presented each costume, making over-the-top sales pitches for all of them.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of couples costumes, Wade stopped in front of the last pair and turned to you with a grin that could only mean trouble.

“For the grand finale,” he said with a flourish, holding up a pair of cheesy superhero costumes that were definitely not part of any known franchise. “Super Wade and Super You! Capes included. We fight crime and bad party snacks.”

You rubbed your face, unable to stop smiling. “Wade… this is insane.”

He stepped closer, his eyes softening beneath the mask. “I know, but I wanted to give you choices. I know you’ve been working hard and you’ve been stressed. Figured I’d take some of the load off by going overboard with options. Plus, it gave me an excuse to flirt with you in a million different ways. Win-win.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, but your heart swelled at his thoughtfulness. “Thanks, Wade. Really.”

He cocked his head, a hint of shyness peeking through his bravado. “So… which one? Or should we go with my favorite?”

“And which one is that?”

Wade’s grin turned mischievous again. “I’m voting for Super Wade and Super You. ‘Cause let’s face it, babe, we’re already super together.”

You shook your head, but your smile never wavered. “Alright, fine. Super Wade and Super You it is.”

Wade let out an excited cheer, pumping his fist in the air before pulling you into a tight embrace. “We’re gonna be the sexiest, crime-fighting couple at that party, babe. Al won’t know what hit her.”

You laughed, leaning into him as he twirled you around. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“Impossible or impossibly charming?” Wade teased, dipping you dramatically.

“Maybe a bit of both.”

As you settled into the costume that night, you realized that, once again, Wade had managed to turn what could have been a stressful situation into something fun and ridiculous. And as you both headed out to Blind Al’s Halloween party, arms linked and capes trailing behind, you couldn’t help but think that you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[missiletoe]

ok idk where my template is and i am literally a month late but here is a silly little Office / Corporate Life AU that I wrote about Mandy/Kiara from @magicmooshka''s hit comic, Go Girl Go!

written for round 7 of the yuri shipping olympics prompt: A broken elevator the characters are stuck together in word count: 886

-----------------------------------------------------------------

“Hold the door!” 

Kiara looks up from the First-Day itinerary inked onto her phone screen, trying to find the source of the scream. She sticks a hand out in front of the closing elevator doors regardless and watches as they slide back open.

“H-HOLD THE DOOR PLEASE!” the voice yells, closer this time, and Kiara stares as a tiny figure finally rounds the corner, clutching a briefcase that looks like it’s bursting at the seams.

The girl crashes more than walks into the elevator, panting against the railing when she finally makes it. The doors slide shut behind her and a paper threatens to slip out of the leather case when she tips it too far downwards. Kiara pushes it back into place for her.

“Sorry,” the girl says, brushing her bangs out of her face. Cute, Kiara thinks involuntarily and then mentally slaps herself to bring herself back to reality. “I-It’s my first day as an intern and I was really scared that I’d be late to my first meeting on my first day and then my boss would fire me and I would have to go back to the trenches of LinkedIn not to say that I don’t like it here because I’m Very Excited about working here and being a corporate slave oh god I didn’t mean it like that–I’ve said too much, haven’t I?”

“No worries,” Kiara replies smoothly. The girl has a strand of hair matted to her forehead and Kiara taps her own skin once to gesture for her to move it. The girl goes cross-eyed in the mirror trying to find it before finally slapping herself a few times across the forehead. “I’m Kiara and it’s my first day as an intern for the Sales team.”

“Ohmygod, you’re an intern too?” the girl yelps, pointing at her in disbelief. “B-But you’re so cool and so mature-looking and so professional?!”

Kiara blinks, stunned into silence.

“I meant that in a good way!” the girl adds quickly. “I’m Mandy, did I say that yet?”

Kiara can’t help it–she giggles. Mandy is as endearing as she is nervous.

“Pleased to meet you, Mandy,” she says, offering her hand. Mandy stares at it blankly for a few seconds before grabbing it and shaking it vigorously. Kiara’s eyes widen at the tightness of her grip.

Mandy finally lets go and slips her phone out of her pocket instead, tilting the screen to check the time.

“Good, I still have fifteen minutes before my meeting and it should only take five for me to find the meeting but in the case I get lost or someone stops to talk to me for ten minutes, I should still be–”

As if on cue, the elevator sputters like a dying engine, giving one last croak before promptly dying in between floors 4 and 5. 

Kiara looks up at the lights on top, weakly illuminating the number four as the elevator rocks back and forth before grinding to a halt. Mandy follows her gaze, going weak at the knees.

“Did it just… stop?” she asks uncertainly and Kiara peeks through the gap in the doors.

“I think so,” she replies when the elevator doesn’t whir back to life after a few moments.

“We’re gonna die,” Mandy says, eyes wide. “It was nice to meet you though before I died, Kiara. In another life, we might’ve been able to be good friends.”

“We could be friends in this one,” Kiara replies, amused. “I’ll press the button for the emergency help and I’m sure they’ll have us out of here soon.”

“I hope so,” Mandy replies, anxiously checking the time. “I really hope so.”

“Do you want a granola bar?” Kiara asks to give her something to do, fishing through her purse. Mandy looks at her and nods eagerly, already reaching for the wrapper. She unpeels it like a banana and then chews it from the top-down. It reminds her vaguely of a chipmunk and Kiara has to smother her laugh to keep it from escaping.

“Do you thig I’ll be able to find anutha job after I’m fired?” Mandy asks her through a mouthful of oats. Kiara smiles and crosses her arms across her chest.

“I don’t think they’ll fire you for their elevator being faulty,” she replies.

“Right, right,” Mandy mutters, chewing at her nails. They’re painted bright orange, like a dying sunset. “As long as the elevator is on the seventh floor by 7:55, I can run to 7M112 and still make it in time for my 8 o’clock.”

As if it’s heard her plea, the elevator rocks back to life, slowly beginning its ascent one more.

“Thank god,” Mandy breathes, one hand over her heart. 

The doors slide open on the seventh floor and Mandy’s halfway out the elevator before she suddenly turns around.

“THANKYOUFORTHEGRANOLABARIGOTTARUNNOWITWASNICETOMEETYOU!” she shouts all in one breath before she takes off running.

In her haste to leave, something slips from her grasp and clatters onto the floor. Mandy doesn’t notice as she sprints away and it’s up to Kiara to pick up the forgotten item. She kneels down on the carpet and turns it over.

A plastic badge stares back at her, Mandy’s grimacing profile plastered onto the front.7M112, was it? Kiara shakes her head and runs out after her.

[ncsdlr]

Ride Me On My Motorcycle

- Kinktober Day 6 -

Lana Del Rey x Reader

--------------------------------

You met Lana Del Rey in Target at downtown LA. She had hit you with her cart that, ending up with you tumbling to the floor.

"Awh, my back," you groaned as you caressed the base of your spine. Luckily, you were far enough from the shelves to avoid hitting your head on them. That would have been tragic.

"Oh, my god, I'm so sorry...I didn't see you- here let me help," Lana said as she reached her hands out to you. In that same second though, the heel of your foot dug into a banana, causing you to slip and pull Lana down with you.

Gosh, you had barely even interacted with the woman and you were already dragging her.

"Oh, god!" You caught Lana by her waist and shoulder, and suddenly you were blushing Lana's hands landed right on your titties. Literally, right on them.

It's an honor.

You thought you said that in your head, but apparently you didn't, "Well," she chuckled, "This is definitely one way to meet someone."

You shited your hips to the side as you felt a cramp begin to form. You had stared at Lana that whole time. It was thoroughly awkward. Luckily no one else was there to see that.

"We should," you started, and before you could even finish your sentence, Lana nodded and finished it for you, "Yup, yeah- we should get up."

And that was the start of it. Now, you two have happily been in a relationship for almost two years. For your second anniversary, you thought you'd take Lana out to that new Italian diner in Maine. That had gone successfully and you were riding back home with Lana as your backpack.

The woman insisted that you take your motorcycle for the anniversary date. Currently, you and Lana were facing each other on your motor. Her thighs rested over yours while her butt rested on the leather seat. She had her arms over your shoulders as you kissed her, running your hands over her back and to her waist.

You'd gotten home just a few minutes ago, and as you were about to pull yourself off the bike, but Lana beat you to it and sat you back down. When Lana finally straddled you then, she kissed you deeply, trying to subtly grind her hips into yours.

Her lips were very soft against yours, and it was making you melt really quickly. Little did you know, Lana had been melted. You wouldn't believe how befuddled her mind currently is.

The only thing on her mind was to get fucked. Her goal was to be fucked. It didn't matter where or how- if you fucked her right now, Lana would be very happy -she just needed to be fucked.

Lana sighed against your lips when you started fondling her breasts through her top. You pulled the hem of her shirt down just enough to reveal her bra, now teasingly pinching at her nipples through it.

Whimpers and whines filtered through her lips now that she was unable to kiss you back. You kept up kissing her though, sucking on her bottom lip before sinking your teeth into it.

Slowly, you were becoming more and more aware of the pace Lana set as she grinds herself down on you. You chuckled into her lips at this, finding amusement in her desperation. Unfortunately- for Lana -you held her hips still.

"What do you want?" you rasped.

Lana's answer came in a ragged whine, "Fuck me. Right here and now, please."

"Kinky little girl. You want me to fuck you right here in your driveway? You won't care if anyone sees, huh?" Your hands wander to the buttons of Lana's pants, picking them apart to open her up to you more. "You're desperate enough to say fuck all to the paparazzi that could spot me fucking you out here."

You pushed your hand through Lana's pants and underwear, lightly caressing the wetness on her folds. A chuckle emitted through you as Lana whined, tilting her head back in a show of attitude. You clicked your tongue on the roof of your mouth, wordlessly scolding her as you dared her to continue.

Lana's mind fogged up further as your finger found her, making her thrust into your hand, your fingers slipping closely to her sopping hole. She was the definition of wet as she ground her cunt down.

"My god, you're very desperate, huh? You wanna cum like this?"

Lana nodded eagerly, hiding her face in your neck as you began rubbing tighter circles on her clit. You hummed in disapproval, taking a fistful of Lana's hair in your free hand, and pulling her off your neck.

"Nuh-uh, don't hide, baby. You wanted me to fuck you out here- in your driveway -where anyone can walk by and see you being a little slut for me."

Lana's head rolled back the same time her eyes did, groaning into the night air as she continued to hump your hand for pleasure, "God, Y/N."

You grinned proudly, "That's it, Lana, fuck yourself on my fingers like that." As pleasure thoroughly consumed Lana, she started to fully bounce herself on your fingers, reveling in the feeling of them filling her up.

She felt the grooves and wrinkles of your fingers, the short length of your nails scratching at the sweet spots in her pussy. You had her eyes rolling the back of her head, moaning loudly, rolling her hips, the power you held over her really showing through even as you merely held your hand still and watched as she got herself off on your fingers.

"Holy shit, I'm close- I'm so close, Y/N! Please, let me cum."

You nodded, looking right into Lana's eyes, a small smile growing on your face as you watched her chase her high. "You can cum, Lana. You have my permission to make a mess right here, baby- right out here, in your driveway. Do it for me, my love."

Right as you curled your fingers for a final time, Lana's hips lifted up just enough for your fingers to slip out of her. Her orgasm tore through her, like a heat moving from her stomach and out through her pussy.

"Fuck!" she screamed as her wetness squirted from her, drenching your arm and the leather seat of your motorbike. You grinned proudly at the loud moan Lanalet out, cooing sweet nothings into her ear.

She didn't hear a single thing, though. The woman was still going through her high, feeling every aftershock as your fingers rubbed at her clit slowly. When her orgasm subsided, Lana breathed out a sigh and combed her fingers through your hair, looking into your eyes as she spoke, "You're gonna have to make me cum again, Y/N/N."

You chuckled, taking Lana's chin into your hand with a gentle grip, "You're gonna lick your mess off my bike first, little girl."

[bidisasterevankinard]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday🔥

tagged by @wikiangela @911onabc thank you💙💙💙

I did a little writing today of smut fic(trying to learn to write it) and well then I've lost my inspiration so maybe comments will give it back

I call it (for now ofc) Eddie rails Buck into mattress (good for Buck)

As soon as they are alone, even before Buck can turn to him, Eddie puts his hand on the hips of his boyfriend and turns him to take possession of his lips in a wild kiss in which Eddie immediately shows who is in charge today, pushing Buck towards the door so hard that the sound of the hit reverberates throughout the empty house.

Eddie, without even ending the kiss, pins Buck’s hands to the door with one of his hands and spreads his long legs with his thigh using his other hand on the hip to push Buck on his thigh and make him grind on it. 

Breaking the kiss, enjoying the cherry-red plump lips for a second, Eddie clings to Buck's lips again, but only to bite and pull his lower lip, which causes his boyfriend to groan loudly. 

Then Eddie kisses from Buck's lips along his face line, really considering leaving a mark on his jawline to punish him for all the work teasing, but postpones this idea for later, first he wants to make sure Buck will be ok with it.

“You were such a menace to all this week. All your tight clothes, bendings, inappropriate comments and the way you ate this banana the other day? It made me hard so many times when it was not the place, and now you will pay for it, baby,” Eddie groans it near Buck’s ear and revels in the way Buck blushes and the feeling of his cock twitching while still resting near Eddie's thigh.

“I-I did nothing,” Buck’s angelic face even with almost dark eyes and blush all over his face and sinfully red from kisses lips might deceive someone else, but Eddie knows his boyfriend too well to think it wasn’t purposeful. 

“Oh yes, even when you were bending in the harness for five minutes when we were checking equipment yesterday? Hands stay where I put them,” Eddie starts to unbutton Buck’s shirt and leaves kisses on all the skin he frees from clothes, smirking on the way Buck’s hands didn’t move even a little when he removed his hand.

“You had no need to check it so long on you with your ass up,” Eddie’s done with shirt and put one of his hands on Buck’s ass, squeezing his asscheek hard and again guiding Buck so that he rubs against his thigh, which he still holds between Buck's legs. 

“But you made sure I can see your ass like that perfectly shaped with harness,” Buck moans again and Eddie thinks they should move it a little deeper into the house if he doesn't want the whole street to know what they're doing now, not that he would be completely pitiful if someone can hear how well he makes Buck feel. 

“When it would be so easy to come and put your pants down and fuck you right there, but we were at work, where people was around, and some of them saw it,” Eddie growls remembering how he heard comments from someone from B-shift about his boyfriends ass, but he knows it’s his and only his.

“So how I said tonight you will pay for it,” Eddie one more time squeezes Buck’s ass. “In the bedroom now,”  he pulls Buck by the hand into their bedroom.

Tagging if they want to share : @honestlydarkprincess @alyxmastershipper @transbuck @cowboy-buddie @lover-of-mine @heartshapedvows @bekkachaos @giddyupbuck @buddierights @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @wildlife4life @hippolotamus @transboybuckley @devirnis @loserdiaz @spotsandsocks @monsterrae1 @spaceprincessem @userdisaster @caroandcats @mandzuking17 @translasso @jesuisici33 @bigfootsmom @jeeyuns @forthewolves @paranoidbean @eddiediaztho @jobairdxx and anyone who wants to share

[tpwk-formula1]

Hello! Can make an order for cauliflower crust, with red sauce, toppings of sausage, basil, banana peppers, spinach, toasted mushrooms, roasted artichokes, bbq chicken, cherry tomatoes and turkey sausage with diet coke, water and truly and yes for the dessert. Served by Toto Wolff. 🤭Thank you. ❤️

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

cauliflower crust sunshine x grumpy red sauce rough sex sausage "Better not waste a drop" turkey sausage "Only the best for my girl" basil "I love to watch my cum leak from your pretty pussy" cherry tomatoes "I can't wait to watch you swell with my babies" banana peppers "Look so pretty riding my cock" spinach "Awe I love to know I stretched you out just enough to take all my cock" roasted mushrooms “Fucking you so good you I can see myself in your tummy” roasted artichokes “im gonna put a baby in you” bbq chicken “Gonna let me cum in you? I know you wanna have my baby” coke spanking water breeding kink truly belly bulge dessert yes served by Toto Wolff

Toto x Sunshine! gf Reader

TW - fingering, oral (f receiving), multi orgasms, belly bulge, creampie, pregnancy

WC 1800+

Y/N POV

"Y/N get back up here," I hear Toto roughly tell me making me giggle as I continue into our closet ignoring the grumpy man.

"Patience, Toto," I tell him softly before closing the closet door behind me so Toto couldn't see what I was doing.

"Liebe, you've just been grinding on me for the past 15 minutes, that feels like plenty of patience," I hear Toto groan making me giggle while I continue to strip into the new lingerie set I wanted to show to Toto.

"You'll love it," I reply back softly but still being loud enough so Toto can hear.

"I would probably love it more if you were still in my lap," Toto groaned back while I opened the door to reveal the new lingerie set I had picked up when I went to the mall earlier in the day.

"I mean, I can put my other clothes back on and get back on your lap," I joke softly to Toto making him groan and throw his head back slightly.

"Fuck, im gonna put a baby in you,” Toto groans making me smirk softly before climbing back into his lap.

"You would love that huh?" I joke slightly making Toto look at me seriously.

"No, liebe I'm being serious, you will be the mother of my children in the next year if I can help it," Toto tells me softly making me start grinding into his lap again, the thought of being pregnant with Toto's babies turning me on further.

"Fuck with the way you're grinding on me you're gonna have let me cum in you. I know you wanna have my baby," Toto groans making me pull him in for a kiss.

"Yes, cum in me tonight," I beg softly, grinding down harder into Toto's lap needing more stimulation.

"I just realized when we have a baby you're really gonna be daddy Toto," I saw with a smirk making Toto roll his eyes at my antics.

"Oh shush you," Toto teases while pulling me back in for a kiss. I was pulling at the white tee Toto was wearing needing it off.

"I wanna touch you please," I gasp against Toto's lips when he holds my hands away from his body.

"You already are," Toto says while pulling back slightly and giving me a raised brow.

"I need more," I whine bouncing in his lap slightly.

"Look like a child throwing a tantrum," Toto says with a pointed look. He wasn't wrong with the way I was bouncing in his lap and whining I looked like a child who was just told no at the candy shop.

"Please, Toto," I beg again while tugging at the end of his shirt making him roll his eyes but still sit up slightly to full his shirt off making me smile.

I'm instantly rubbing my hands up and down Toto's chest and stomach humming softly in contentment.

Toto pulls me back in for a kiss letting my hands continue to wander while I'm grinding down on Toto's hard cock.

"Please, I wanna ride you," I beg against Toto's lips where he just pulls back and smirks softly before he turns me over so my back is against the mattress with Toto between my thighs above me.

Toto is running his large fingers over the pretty lingerie set groaning when his fingers brush over my peaked nipples making me gasp as the feeling.

"Please," I whine and buck my hips trying to get Toto's face where I need him.

"Patience, love," Toto gruffs out making me whine slightly but stop my bucking.

Toto starts trailing kisses around my lower tummy and to my inner thighs before he places a soft kiss on my covered pussy making me moan softly. Toto wasted no time in pulling my lingerie set to the side and diving her tongue in.

"Oh Toto," I moan when I feel Toto pull my clit into his mouth sucking on it.

"So good," I'm gasping when Toto slips two fingers deep into my pussy.

"Fuck, I can feel you clenching," Toto groans, speeding up his actions.

"Toto, I'm getting close," I moan out when I feel my orgasm creeping up only making Toto speed up his actions on my pussy making me scream out as I fall over the edge cumming all over Toto's fingers.

Once Toto helps me ride my orgasm out he pulls his fingers out and quickly shoves them into my mouth making me lick them clean before he shoves them farther down my throat making me gag around them. He just smirks at me slightly before he pulls his fingers out letting me breath properly.

"Thank you," I gasp out once I've caught my breath.

"Only the best for my girl," Toto groans making me smile. Toto starts pulling my lingerie set off making sure to be gentle to not rip any of the delicate fabric.

"I think that is the slowest you have ever undressed me," I tease making Toto give me a pointed look before a smile breaks out on his face.

"I wanna see you in it when you're pregnant with my baby," Toto said with a smirk making me giggle softly. Once I am completely bare under Toto he climbs out of bed and pulls his briefs off leaving him completely bare for my eyes to rake over.

"God, you have no shame," Toto says making me look up at him as my face turns red.

"You look so good," I reply back letting my eyes trail over his body once again, making Toto laugh softly.

Toto comes back to where I'm lying on my back before he roughly flips me over onto my hands and knees before I feel him land a harsh slap on my ass making me whimper slightly.

"Oh fuck," I moan when I feel him send down another slap on the other cheek.

"I love this perfect ass," Toto says roughly while gripping my ass in his hands before he sends both of his hands down on my ass making me moan at the feeling, each slap going start to my core.

Once Toto has slapped and rubbed my ass enough he finally sips his cock deep into my core making me moan when I feel him push all the way in.

"Oh fuck," I moan loudly making Toto speed his thrusts up quickly turning my moans into silent screams.

"Awe I love to know I stretched you out just enough to take all my cock," Toto teases while pounding into my harder knwoing when we first got together he was far to large to be able to fuck me like this.

"Fuck," I scream when Toto starts hitting my sweet spot over and over again.

"Can I ride please," I beg through strangled breathes.

"Fuck yes," Toto groans while flipping our bodies so I was riding his cock.

"Oh god," I moan when I'm fully sitting on Toto's cock and he's hitting all my sweet spots in a different angle.

"Look so pretty riding my cock," Toto groans out as I continue bouncing on his cock finally finding my tempo.

"Oh! Toto," I scream out when Toto starts thrusting up to meet my thrusts making everything more intense.

I could feel another orgasm building up making me start clenching around Toto in preparation.

"Fuck, how are you already gonna cum again," Toto groans now using my body to bounce him on my cock.

"Please," I cry out feeling myself right on the edge of cumming.

"Cum for me," Toto groans out making me cry out as I start cumming all over Toto's cock. I was cumming so hard that some of my pleasure even squirted out soaking Toto's abdomen.

"Fuck! God, you get impossibly tight every time you cum around my cock," Toto groans as he lifts me off his cock making me whimper at the loss. But I am quickly moaning again when Toto flips us over and shoves his cock back into my pussy once we were situated in missionary.

"Toto," I moan out when Toto starts fucking into my pussy at a brutal pace instantly stealing my breath away.

“Fucking you so good you I can see myself in your tummy,” Toto says making me look down to notice the small bump of his cock fucking into me making me moan. After several years of Toto and I being together it wasn't an uncommon sight but fuck did it turn me on everytime I noticed it.

"Fuck, please," I gasp not really sure what I was asking for.

"Already cum twice tonight and still begging for more," Toto groans sending a harsh slap down on my inner thigh making me whimper which is quickly replaced with a moan when Toto brings his fingers down to my clit and gives it a little rub.

"So good," I whine.

"You wanna cum for me?" Toto grunts out making me moan a quick yes.

"Cum with me," Toto grunts speeding his thrusts up making me instantly fall over the edge pulling Toto with me both of us cumming together.

"Fuck," Toto and I moan at the same time. Toto made sure to ride our orgasms out before he quickly slips out of my sore pussy watching his cum start to leak from my pussy.

"I love to watch my cum leak from your pretty pussy, but tonight I want as much as possible to stay in and you better not waste a drop" Toto tells me while pushing some of it back in with his fingers making me whine in overstimulation.

Once Toto slips his fingers back out he offers them to me making me wrap my lips around his two fingers and sucking them clean tasting mostly Toto's cum but I can also get a hint of my pleasure in there as well.

Toto quickly slips out of bed getting a rag to clean me up before climbing back into bed and pulling me to his chest.

"Do you really want a baby?" I question softly making Toto laugh softly.

"Yes," Toto simply states before pulling me in tighter and both of us letting sleep consume us.

5 weeks later

"Toto, you bloody bastard! You actually got me fucking pregnant," I saw while the both of us stare down at the positive pregnancy test.

When I look back up at Toto he has a massive smirk across his face before he's pulling me into his chest letting my back rest against his chest while he rubs small circles on my tummy.

"I can't wait to watch you swell with my babies," Toto tells me softly as I watch his hands rub across my tummy making me realize just how real this all is.

"There's a baby in there," I say softly while putting my hands over Toto's soaking in the moment a little longer.

"I hope it's a little girl," Toto tells me softly making a smile spread across my face.

"I'll be happy with whatever but I would love a little girl," I tell Toto softly making him smile with me.

[spilledquinoa]

as my sibling and I have a running quotes list, I would like to add some lines that I think would be pretty fun with Sephiroth, Angeal, Genesis, Zack, and Cloud. enjoy.

Sephiroth

"All I know is MAIL"

"Who made blood?" "yes"

"one (1) singular street fight"

"so basically it's China or cancer"

"you're walking inordinately slow" (probably Zack or somethin) "WELL YOU'RE WALKING BIG WORD FAST"

"I don't discriminate" (Genesis,most likely) "but I do"

"there's a mistake" "unacceptable" "...that was yours"

"it feels like my brain is being deep-fried in acetone"

"hey, how's it going?" "terrible, thanks for asking"

"I'm like a twelve year old with dementia"

Angeal

"I'm not going to shotgun a caprisun"

"that's enough please, stop beating me with a pineapple"

"where can I put my taco??" "in your pocket" "w h a t"

"I like feeding the geese on my own terms, don't want em quacking at me"

"They're turkeys, but not cute turkeys (troublemakers) like my kids. no, these are turkeys that might get shot for thanksgiving and I'm not sorry about it"

"GET BACK HERE GERALD"

"WHO WOULD SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM, IN A SCOTTISH ACCENT, AT A FUNERAL?!"

"Mr Coach A, if you wan to be formal"

"...why are you pretending to smoke a pencil?"

"I'm not a priest, I had my chance"

"you can't make a worse drink if you only have water"

Genesis

"STOP TALKING OR I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR MOUTH"

"imagine grinding up someone's teeth! on the internet! for views!"

"my sexuality is a twister wheel"

"Heidegger likes ritz...?"

"HOJO CAN'T READ"

"are you saying that orphans are losers cause they're orphans??" "would you say they're winners then?"

"excuse you, I don't get any bitches because I have a *maiden*"

calling Catherine Howard, fifth wife of Henry the VIII a hussy

"we believe something is beautiful because it can end"

"tear me apart and make me your villain"

Zack

"nipulars"

"hypothetically, if sonic slapped a raw chicken 95,850 times in the span of 9.6 picoseconds (a picosecond is one trillionth of a second) the chicken would be cooked"

"are you about to have a breakdown or are you about to break it down?"

"gimme a spicy second"

"is it a bird? is it a plane? it's Vagina Man!"

"call me Shrek cause I'm swamped"

"prepare yourself, I'm gonna shit my pants"

"SUCK IT BOZO"

"meatghetti and spaghettballs"

"OKAY MR-I-KNOW-HOW-TO-READ"

"what's good for the goose is good for the other goose"

"they were a hero" "I didn't want them to be a hero, I wanted them to live."

"I'll fill you in on the baseball lore"

"there's a *Denny's*"

"the energy of a single banana"

Cloud

"start crying, you'll get sympathy points"

"I'M GOING TO DANCE ON YOUR BONES"

"HOW DOES WINNIE THE POOH AND TAOISM RELATE??"

"well guess what Joey; I can still punch you in the balls"

"I HOPE YOU'RE LONELY"

"you know, I didn't think I'd screw up a lot but here we go"

"we're doing ballet bitch"

"he's rich" "what else is he" "a present"

"I keep on saying prostitution instead of prosecution"

"why are we talking about Caesar like he's Regina George"

"upchuck...vomit...do the hokey pokey..."

"that REEKS of my point"

*playing video games* "I'm now bald, can rip out street lights, and use motorcycles as weapons" "and you start out with BALD?" "it's his most defining trait"

"SHUT UP YOU BITCH ASS HOBO"

there is more than enough for a part two btw

[noisyquokka]

Could I request a blurb with kevin from the boyz where we get stuck at home during a snowstorm but then eventually have to go back to work/school, the regular grind ig? Fluffy and cute stuff plz ^-^

The Place To Be

PAIRING - Kevin x GN!Reader

SYNOPSIS - Spending three days in the house can easily bring on cabin fever. Well, except when Kevin's around... It's even harder to get back on schedule when he's actively doing his best to keep you near.

WORDCOUNT - 1.9k

WARNINGS - Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, sarcastic comments/insults incoming (It's just that kinda relationship), just two (2) dorks doing cute shit together and being cute together, Kevin being a menace

A/N - So it's not a blurb (I'm basically incapable of writing anything under 1k words) but I hope you enjoy it all the same!💛 Edit: I'd like to formally apologize for thinking I posted this like 3 weeks ago when it, in fact, sat in the drafts 🤡 send me to the pit of flames, y'all!

"Good God, how many shades of the same yellow does one paint kit need!?" Kevin shakes his head, squeezing the tiny tube of Cadmium onto the palette. He's sitting beside you, working on a paint-by-number piece that he'd bought months ago. What better time to crack it open than today? You turn your head to the canvas, taking in his progress.

"Those are not the same shade, Kev." You point to the few yellows you assume he's referring to, along with the one he'd just added to his palette. "That's a light yellow compared to this one. This is more of a lemon." You reach for two others; Golden and Saffron. "And these are two different shades, babe."

"Golden, Lemon, Banana Cream, Pineapple, Pear. I don't see a difference!"

"And you call yourself an artist... pfft." It's a mumble that's loud enough for him to hear, one that earns you the bump of his knee into yours under the table. You chuckle in response, bringing your palm to rest under your chin.

His eyes rove over the canvas, and you can see the cogs turning in your boyfriend's head as he figures out how to twist this paint-by-number into his own little masterpiece. The box was labeled Cottage in the Mountains but you knew Kevin. He'd add his own little touch to the canvas in the end.

"I know I'm hot, but quit staring, babe!"

"Oh, so hot that the snow is still falling." you pipe up, sarcasm thick in your tone. Kevin places a hand on his chest dramatically, rubbing at his pec as if you've wounded him. He leans into you, pressing a kiss to your hairline before he diverts his attention back to the tubes of paint.

"Felt that one deep in my chest, at least five years off my life." He presses another kiss to your nose, finding the smirk on your lips when he pulls away. "You trying to kill me off early?"

"Ugh, you got me. I'm actually an assassin." You reach for one of the painting knives on the table, running your fingers over the blade like a villain in a movie. "Unfortunate that I have to break it to you when we're stuck in this house together, snowed in... no one to come looking for you..."

"Well, when you say it like that." he trails, taking the knife from you. He's so unbothered, too used to this back and forth that you two have conjured as your love language. The corners of your lips curl up in a grin, and you bring your hand up to cradle his jaw, pressing your lips against his cheek in a quick kiss.

"You are the only thing saving me from this hell. So thank you for staying with me." you say. Kevin chuckles, dipping his brush into the dollop of Cadmium.

"We live together, you know." 

"Well yeah, but you could've chosen to paint in the office or something."

"But I didn't." The paintbrush moves over the canvas with sparse flicks of a wrist, the man's attention taken up by the careful strokes of his workspace. Your smile hadn't faded by much, but watching him work brightened it like morning glories.

"No, you didn't." you murmur. You get up from your seat, carding your fingers through his hair before leaving a kiss on top of his head. 

It's a simple thing, really; with below-zero wind chills and a snow band that wouldn't let up, you two were stuck inside. The whole town had shuttered with the storm, putting the safety of the citizens above all else, which in turn, canceled any non-essential traveling. With the snow falling at a pretty good clip, plows couldn't clear the streets fast enough. Living in a cold climate long enough had humbled you, and you easily knew when it wasn't worth going out. It also taught you how to make a mean chicken and veggie soup. Speaking of...

The paintbrush halts its movement over the canvas, brown eyes sliding back to where you disappear into the kitchen. His stomach rumbles, those familiar scents of seared chicken and simmered vegetables distracting him from his work. Kevin finishes the bit of paint off before cleaning off his used brushes, standing from the dining table and padding after you.

"Need any help?" He smiles, watching the moment your head turns to find his form standing in the doorway. You wave him over, stirring the soup in the Dutch oven. Long arms find their respective place around your torso, pulling you slightly away from the stovetop flame.

"You're like a dog," you mutter, setting the ladle down on the counter. You turn to face him, his fingers sweeping your midriff with the action, leading him backward until his hip meets the island. "always sneaking into the kitchen, nosing around for scraps."

"Does that mean I get whatever my heart desires?" He leans against the marble, dipping his head down till his forehead bumps yours.

"Depends." you reply with a sly grin, hands sliding over the fabric of his hoodie. "What exactly are you looking for?"

Your question is met with a cheeky smile and a raised brow, strong hands slipping around your waist.

"Nothing too demanding, just you and me cuddling on the couch after we eat?" The corner of his mouth quirks up, and he cocks his head to the side. "And a taste of that soup?"

You twist away from his grasp, bringing your attention back to the stove. The soup simmers on medium heat, steam rising above the broth as you stir the menagerie in the pot. You hum to yourself, feign thinking it over. Kevin's arms catch you as you instinctively lean back into his chest, fingers trailing over your side. After a moment, the ladle is placed on the counter again, and you reach to the left to wretch the drawer open for a spoon. It's all the answer Kevin needs.

“Nothing too demanding?” you finally ask, a teasing lilt in your voice. The remark is too easy to pass up cracking jokes, and it earns you a breathy laugh as your boyfriend rests his chin on your shoulder.

"Maybe later, if you're feeling up to it." He matches your humorous teasing easily, following it with a kiss on your shoulder. You bite back a smile, taking the spoon to the pot with a careful hand, a sample taste that you blow on before turning to your boyfriend. You keep your free hand under the spoon as he takes a sip from the utensil, licking his lips just like a dog.

"Perfect!" he replies, eyes soft as he glances down at you. Fingers glide up the wrist that's holding the spoon, stealing it easily to go back for seconds.

"Biased!" you counter, reaching for the spice rack.

"For you? Always," Kevin admits, taking another sample from the pot. "But your comfort food always tastes the best."

"I'm not sure if that's an insult or a compliment to my cooking skills."

"Both." The word falls off his tongue quickly, and you scoff.

"Don't go eating it all, there's still ten minutes left on the timer!" You swat his hand away from the pot, stealing the spoon back with a half-hearted glare.

"Is that your way of telling me patience is a virtue?" he questions, taking you back into his grip. He catches the sidelong glance you spare - the shoulder that you shove back into him in retaliation - and he grins. 

"That's exactly what I'm saying." You take from the few spices you've used in the soup already, adding a little more into the pot. Kevin intently watches you work, a looming heat over your shoulder that warms you more than the flame in front of you. He doesn't let go of you when you finally back away from the stove, opting to pull you with him until he's once again leaning against the counter and you're pressed against his chest. With seven minutes left on the timer, you let your attention drift to the man clinging to your waist.

Large hands sweep up your back and pull you closer, brown eyes locked with yours for a brief moment. Patience practiced, his gaze briefly drops to your lips and then he’s leaning in, a gentle brush of his against yours that has you instinctually wrapping your arms around his neck. The warmth of his breath makes the hairs on your neck stand like electricity coursing through your veins. You nuzzle your nose playfully against his, earning yourself a lazy grin.

The space between you dwindles to nothing once he captures your lips in a kiss. It's soft and sweet, a simple little thing that has a smile pulling at your lips, and suddenly the kitchen is the coziest place to be. Kevin's ears twitch at the sound of your laughter, heard in between liplocks and small pecks.

The best sound he's ever heard.

It's when you lean into him and curl your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck that he pulls away, pressing his forehead into yours. Just in time for the timer to go off.

It's like this for the three days that you're stuck at home; a simple routine that you quickly grow accustomed to as the hours drag on. While you don't mind sticking it out with your boyfriend, you're not against the idea of racing out into the yard to bury yourself under the several feet of snow that has fallen. Kevin makes it bearable when he's got you wrapped up on the couch or in bed, nothing more than the sound of your collective breathing and tangled legs under blankets.

It only becomes a problem when the snow has ceased and snow removal has wrapped up.

"Kevin, baby, I have to get up!"

You're still in bed, imprisoned in your boyfriend's embrace while you watch the minutes quickly deplete for you to get ready for your shift. Kevin whines into your neck, his arms tightening when you try to pry them off.

"Don't you have sick days left?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Take a sick day." he pleads, eyes closed as he snuggles into you.

"You know I can't do that."

Cue the grumbling like a perturbed feline being chased from the bathroom sink. You can't help but laugh at the response, trying once again to escape the man's clutches. He only tightens his grip again.

"Kev, come on, now," you whisper, turning your head towards your boyfriend. "We've been stuck in the house for three days."

"Take a sick day," he repeats, mumbling the words against your neck. His lips are warm against the skin, nipping at the delicate flesh lazily before he lifts his head to meet your gaze.

"Please?"

It's hard to protest when he's looking at you like that; like you're his only reason for staying in bed another day. The heat of his body sinks into yours and you feel the protests on the tip of your tongue succumbing to the thumb massaging circles into your hip. To be completely honest with yourself, you'd be willing to skip work daily if you could stay wrapped up in Kevin's arms like this for the rest of your days.

You sigh softly, knowing your attempts to convince him to let you go are failing. The puppy eyes have won you over, and he'll melt any defenses you can muster up with them.

Your hand juts out for your phone, grabbing it from the nightstand. It's a quick unlock and a couple of taps, a quick call to your supervisor that you can't make it in due to the driveway being snowed in. A little white lie. When you hang up, you shoot your boyfriend a look.

"Happy?" you ask.

Kevin sighs contentedly, pulling you close as he makes himself comfortable again.

"Very."

Psst!! If you made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read my work 💕 I appreciate you!

[il-predestinato]

I am very curious about "A Modern Fairytale in Five Parts (aka. Once Upon a Time in Monte Carlo)" :))))) <3

Oh yes, the fairytale AU I've been struggling with for 1.5 years. 😅

title: Once Upon a Time in Monte Carlo

summary: A retelling of the very cursed 2021 Monaco Grand Prix. In which there is a prince in distress (Charles), an evil witch (Christian), a poisoned apple banana, a countdown rose in a jar, a bunch of suitors (the entire grid), and a desperate search for True Love's Kiss. 5+1, Charles/Max with a tiny bit of Charles/Everyone.

I shared an excerpt from it before, so you can read that first for a little more context. 😁

Another excerpt (from "Chapter 2: LANDO NORRIS"):

He gets a bloody podium. He’s on the podium with two of his closest friends. Except the podium celebrations have as much cheer as a funeral procession. The bottles of champagne remain untouched; neither Max nor Carlos could muster the enthusiasm to spray their bottles. He spied Max handing off his bottle to Christian Horner, who could not have looked more smug.

Lando wouldn’t put it past the guy to be responsible for Valtteri’s wheel nut failing to come off during the pit stop. (Both Zak and Andreas privately voiced their suspicions about the so-called “Witch King of Red Bull” … all right, maybe the nicknames were a little overboard, but Christian is still a right bastard.) The weekend could not have gone more perfectly for Red Bull.

Not that it seemed to matter to Max, who looked like he was ready to dart away the moment he entered parc fermé. Lando suspects he would have if they didn’t have obligatory post-race interviews. And even with that, there was scarcely a question that didn’t revolve around Charles.

At the end of it all, Lando is frankly exhausted. At this point, he’ll settle for a quiet dinner and getting his ass kicked at FIFA by Carlos.

Lando catches up with Carlos outside the Ferrari garage (and God, this place is depressing… one would think someone died in that garage). The Spaniard is in the middle of a sizeable gathering of F1 drivers - Max is there, along with Pierre, George, Seb, Gio, and Daniel.

“What do you mean that you also tried?” hisses Max, folding his arms at Pierre.

The Frenchman throws his former teammate a withering look that seems to question his intelligence at the same time. “Exactly what I mean, Max. He’s my best friend! I had to try.”

“You mean you kissed him?” adds Daniel helpfully.

Max sputters with a half cough, half choke. Daniel thumps his back vigorously, while Pierre graces both of them with an exaggerated sigh. “Merci, Sherlock, for clarifying.”

“Why would you do that?” Lando blurts out, joining the crowd.

Pierre looks at them like they were all lacking in wits. “His love interests are not exactement limited to women.” A bunch of goldfish expressions stare back at him; Pierre sighs again. “Really, guys, it’s 2021.”

A moment later, they’re all talking at once and talking over each other.

“Well, this really changes the game -”

“A much bigger pool -”

“Do you think he has a secret male lover -”

“Could still be a woman, you know -”

“Holy crap, do we all have to kiss him?”

“Try not to sound so eager, Dan -”

“Fuck, I’d do it without the curse -”

“Jesus, DAN!”

Lando clears his throat loudly. “If Pierre couldn’t wake him up, why would any of you guys succeed? He’s the closest to Charles. If it’s any of us, it would be Pierre.”

Carlos tilts his head thoughtfully. “Charles and Pierre are more like brothers. I think true love’s kiss is meant in - ah, how do you say it - the more biblical sense?”

“Romantic,” corrects Dan. “More face-sucking than air kisses, more naked grinding than soft cuddles, more deep throat -”

“I think we get it,” interrupts Seb, and Lando has never been more grateful to the former Ferrari driver.

Then Max, who had been rather morosely silent amongst all the clamour, speaks up for the first time. “Maybe… maybe it doesn’t hurt to try. It - it couldn’t hurt if there’s a chance of waking him?”

“I agree with Max,” Carlos pipes up, and Lando feels a twist of dread gnawing in his stomach. “He spends so much time on the road, in the paddock, with the team, and with all of us. What if it’s one of us?”

George shrugs. “I don’t suppose it would hurt to try.” He grins at Daniel. “There are worse things than kissing Charles.”

[asteria-argo]

🌹🌹🌹🌹

I said I was trying to tone down the amount of Shiloh in this fic and then immediately added more Shiloh but with a twist. Sooo, tasked failed successfully I guess.

“What do you mean Shiloh wasn’t on the bus?” He asks Jonah, not paying Isaac any mind. He probably hadn’t even heard him knocking, he looked pretty caught up in the conversation he was having, brow pinched and mouth set in a thin line. Jonah shrugs at him. “She just wasn’t.” He says, Toby nodding along beside him “We thought she might’ve just been walking, she does that sometimes when she’s gotta leave extra early, but we didn’t see her on the way either. Is she sick?” “No ones called her out.” Jamie says, and the kids don’t seem to pick up the stressed out tick to his jaw. Isaac remembers seeing the same nervous habit during shitty game back when Jamie was at Richmond. He grinds his teeth, it used to gross Colin out when they heard it. “She might’ve just overslept. She’ll take the later bus if she did.” “I brought her breakfast and I didn’t even get to give it to her.” Jonah sighs “mum let me pack extra banana bread ‘cause it’s Shy’s favourite.” “You can give it to her when she gets here,” Jamie assures, glancing towards the door and seeing Isaac for the first time, standing there waiting to be noticed. His jaw ticks again, no doubt grinding his teeth some more, as he nods at the boys “clear out now you two.”

[crash-bump-bring-the-whump]

Whumpril 2023 - Day 29

Technically I wanted to write this for April Fool's Day but there wasn't enough context for it to hit y'all the way I wanted it to, so here we are! A follow-up piece is here!

TWs: Drugging, panic, overdose of fictional drugs, betrayal

Surrender | Punishment | “Final warning.”

Laredo laughed, popping the little pills into the pestle. "Oh this is gonna be funny." He started grinding them up, eying the powder they formed. "Do you think ten is too many?"

Dimitri hummed, tilting his head before shaking it. "I think it'll be fine. He's not Manuel's size, and these can't kill you." He got out the blender, pouring ice, sliced banana, and blueberries into it. "I don't think he'll drink the whole thing anyway."

Laredo added the crushed pills, some honey, then more berries. The lid was placed on the blender. In just a minute, a pretty purple smoothie was being poured into a glass, with a large straw to top it all off. Dimitri snickered as he held the innocuous drink up. "I'll go bring it to him, you clean up. Get rid of the evidence."

None of them had dragons that they were bonded to. The pact dampeners shouldn't have even been in the squad's shared home. But what Luis didn't know wouldn't hurt him. Or them.

Mariano was curled up on the couch, reading some book. His hair was already braided and pinned for their drill in an hour. Dimitri almost felt bad for what they were about to do to the kid.

Only almost though.

The look on his face after he inevitably stumbled through the course in front of every single one of their superiors, coordination all but gone, would be hysterical. Maybe he'd finally have a look on his face. Maybe he'd even trip over his own two feet and eat dirt. All during his very first group demonstration drill.

It would be fine. They'd get him some cake from the mess hall or something afterwards and explain that it was just some friendly hazing. They'd all had something embarrassing happen during their first. Manuel had been paint-bombed and had to run the drill dripping in viscous, pale blue paint. He was washing it out of his hair for hours.

Dimitri remembered his own fondly. They'd replaced his boots with ones that were a size too big. He'd been limping for days after he fell and twisted his ankle. It was all in good fun.

"Hey, Rookie." Dimitri said, smiling as he leaned over the back of the couch. "Made you a good luck smoothie since today is the big day."

Dark eyes looked up at him, glancing between his face and the glass in his hand. "Oh. Thank you, Dimitri." He said, a small smile flickering over his face. He took the smoothie and immediately sipped at it, his faint expression lighting up. "How did you know blueberry was my favorite?"

"Just a lucky guess. Don't forget to make sure your casting gloves and mask are polished." Dimitri felt like he'd won some impossible prize as he sauntered off to make sure his own gear was shining and perfect. Mariano hadn't even questioned it. He'd heard from his own bonded acquaintances that the pills could have a bit of a bitter taste--it seemed like the fruit and honey had been enough to mask it.

Just like they'd planned, soon enough they were all at the start of the drill course, a nearby crowd buzzing with anticipation. It was simple. Weave through a long straightaway, taking down targets while not hitting the civilians, then maneuver through a maze filled with obstacles, then through a warehouse, filled with smoke and noise and flashing lights. Once they breached the basement doors and secured the hostages, the drill would be over.

With their faceless masks, talon-tipped gloves and boots, and matching all-black uniforms on, they looked the part of an elite unit. Even Manuel managed to look appropriately inhuman and powerful. When the starting tone rang out, the five of them took off into the camera-laden course. Luis was watching. The higher ups were watching. A lot of other soldiers had even shown up. Luis' men didn't do this often--a chance to see their marksmanship and team synergy wasn't one to miss.

Dimitri felt glee blooming in his chest as he realized that Mariano, normally so quick, had lagged behind them when they'd all launched into their runs. Laredo and Mariano took point as they started their assault on the moving targets. Their newest member had sprinted hard to take his position, working with Laredo to cut a direct path for the rest of their team. Each shot fired from their gloved palms found its target, letting Dimitri, Manuel, and Izan focus on cleanup.

When they hit the maze, Mariano began to stumble. One gloved hand pressed to his chest for just a moment before he started hauling himself up the sheer wall. As always, Dimitri found himself at the top first, with Izan right behind him. The claws on their gloves and boots let everyone move that much quicker, with even the massive Laredo being able to climb like a jungle cat.

Up and over, they all dropped down gracefully before launching forward again. Mariano had needed to brace his hands against the dirt as he kicked off into his run again, as though he were physically pushing himself upright. Dimitri found himself grateful that they'd decided to put ten pills into that smoothie. The original plan of two or three wouldn't have had any effect at all.

They blasted their way through the destructible obstacles, using as few blasts of magic as possible. Mariano was gasping behind his mask as they ran, and Dimitri heard the reedy, desperate noise even over his own breathing. The first thoughts that something wasn't right flicked through his head.

Mariano worked out just as much as they did. He loved cardio. He ran and swam for miles, for fun, outside of their workouts. There was no reason for him to be out of breath after just a few minutes.

But those pills were safe. They were widely available, you didn't need a prescription for them. They were sold right next to the headache pills and the antacids. This was just a prank on the new kid.

Mariano's hand pressed to his chest again. He stumbled as they burst into the warehouse set, almost losing his balance completely. The smoke was thick, industrial clangs and the sound of screaming being pumped in through speakers. A red light flickered periodically, serving as their only light source.

They kept moving.

Down they ran, taking out the target dummies as they descended the stairs.

"Prepare to breach!" Dimitri called, stopping at one side of the metal double doors. Just as he got ready to fire his magic at the lock, Manuel cut through all the noise from halfway up the stairs.

"Stop the drill!"

Panic vibrated under the force in their medic's voice. The lights came on. The noise cut out. The smoke stopped. Izan hurried back up, with Laredo and Dimitri behind him.

Dimitri almost felt his heart stop when they got back up to the second landing.

Manuel was crouched next to Mariano, who was prone on the floor with one wrist held between Manuel's fingers. It didn't look like he'd even tried to catch himself. "We need medical down here! Now!" Manuel shouted, letting out a tense noise as he dropped Mariano's wrist and pressed fingers to his neck. "Come on Mariano, you're stubborn. Give me something."

"Oh my god." Laredo said, leaning against the stair rail. His voice shook on the end of his words. "What--what the fuck happened?"

"I don't know, because there's nothing in his records about this." Manuel growled. Dimitri didn't know if he'd ever heard him sound like this outside of an emergency. "But he just dropped right behind me on the stairs. Thank god--I have a pulse. It's really fucked up but I've got it. I, I think he's breathing, too. Izan, Laredo, help me."

Laredo looked back at Dimitri as Manuel worked Mariano's mask off of his face and tugged the hood underneath down to expose the rest of his face. Dimitri knew what was going through Laredo's head. The pact dampeners were just supposed to make you feel tired and dizzy. That was what his acquaintances had said.

Laredo and Izan hurried back up and crouched down beside Mariano, helping Manuel to get him on his back. Manuel's hand hovered in front of Mariano's nose and mouth, having fished his watch from one of his pockets to time his breathing. Mariano was too limp, looked too ashen. Dimitri found himself stuck on the stairs, his own heart racing as Izan took over monitoring Mariano's pulse.

Luis was right beside medical as they bustled down the stairs and took over, asking questions in-between talking into a walkie-talkie. He demanded that the people who had set everything up go double check what had been loaded into the smoke canisters. No one talked back to Luis. Not when the health of one of his men was on the line.

Not when their possible mistake could've nearly killed someone.

Dimitri and Laredo didn't look at each other as they exited the warehouse in time to see Mariano getting loaded into an ambulance, the first responders already working on him. Luis was on the phone now. He paused, cutting himself off. "You all report to medical too. Everyone is getting checked--yes I'm telling them to get examined. Ortiz had a clean bill of health just last week. Something had to be in that smoke and I'm not chancing anyone else. Yes. Yes..." The conversation faded as the four of them walked in silence.

They got examined.

They were all fine.

They went back home and to their separate rooms.

Luis entered as the clock hands inched towards midnight and summoned them to the living room. His eyes looked thunderous as they sat on the couch, his hands behind his back. "They figured out what was wrong with Ortiz." He said, gaze hard as he looked between the four of them.

Silence fell before Manuel spoke up. "Is...he going to be okay?" He was hesitant, wilting under Luis' eyes when his focus shifted onto him.

"Yes. He will be okay." Luis said. "He certainly will be. They just have to wait for his body to process the whole package of pact dampeners that's in his system." Luis tossed the empty box on the coffee table, the two sheets of broken blister packs landing on top of the cardboard with a clatter. It had drops of blueberry smoothie on it, likely from when it had been poured. "They can't just flush it out of him, either. After running the drill on that high of a dose, his heart might give out if they rush things. He has to wake up naturally, over a few days."

The living room felt like it was at the bottom of the ocean. The silence was absolute. The atmosphere was crushing.

"I know you all like to pull pranks when it's someone's first group drill. That is normally fine. I tolerate that as long as our results are not affected." Luis continued before setting down an almost-empty cup on the table. The sides were coated with smoothie. Just the barest few sips still remained at the bottom. Mariano had drank the entire thing. "So this is your chance to tell me: who's idea was this?"

No one spoke up.

Luis' jaw tensed. "If I have to see you all in the training room, I will." He looked over them all again. "And I promise, you will prefer if you speak up now."

Laredo raised his hand. "Manuel and Izan didn't know anything about this." He didn't look at Dimitri. Dimitri seethed. If Laredo had done his job better, they wouldn't be in this situation. They could've just blamed it on a new recruit hearing rumors about an easy high.

Luis looked at Laredo. His calm expression didn't change. "I expected better from you, Laredo. Much better. This isn't like you." A chill raced up Dimitri's spine.

He raised his hand. "I suggested it. I thought that it would be fine, since the pills were so little."

Luis hummed. His gaze roamed over Dimitri. It felt like he was being sized up for a meal. "I see." Luis looked them all over again. "Dimitri. Laredo. Report to the training room at sunrise. You are all dismissed. If you need me in the meantime, contact medical."

Luis left.

Izan and Manuel gave Dimitri and Laredo long, quiet looks before going to their rooms.

Laredo silently picked up the cup and packaging, tossing the trash back into the trash can before washing the dish and putting it away.

Dimitri stayed there on the couch, chest broiling. He didn't quite know how he felt. Did he regret it? Did he feel bad? Was he upset at Laredo? Mariano? Himself? It didn't really matter.

He was going to suffer through the punishment no matter what.