#we are listening to it now and the bass is so aggressive through the speakers

[mackachu1212]

I’ll post something soon I promise (not guaranteed that I will post something soon)

[audhd-author]

Electricity

Y/N Smith could've gone her whole life without seeing her brother again. However, her plans to do this change upon receiving an invitation to the Smith family Christmas BBQ. Upon meeting a certain Rick Sanchez, Y/N's intentions for staying become a lot less pure.

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3280 words

NSFW (18+)

Rough sex, face fucking, blow job, heavy degradation, age gap, choking, light bondage, alcohol and drug use, orgasm denial, clit stimulation, nipple play, creampie.

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An exasperated groan escapes your lips as you look out the window of your car. You were in no means excited to be amidst the chatter of a Christmas barbeque but as your niece and nephew were eager to see you, you were in no position to not show up. The sides of your car vibrate with bass as Tech N9ne’s ‘Loud’ continues to blast full volume through the speakers. You had no doubt that everyone across the street could hear your music but frankly, you didn’t care. Sighing, you grab your trusty Fireball/Smirnoff mix from the cupholder and turn off your car, deciding to just rip the bandaid off. Walking across the street, you can hear your car’s defence activate as you take a sip of your alcohol. 

“Y/N! I’m glad you could make it! Jerry was so excited when he found out you were coming.” Beth exclaims, a glass of champagne in her hand as she walks over to greet you. Your hand slips into the front pocket of your jeans as you raise your drink to your lips, gulping down a bigger amount then you’d like to admit before turning your attention to Beth. “I hope you didn’t tell him I was here for him. The only reason I’m even showing up is because of Morty and Summer. Jerry should know he lost his right to call me his sister many years ago now.” You reply nonchalantly before walking away, scanning your eyes over the crowd for your niece and nephew. Spotting them in the open garage with Jerry and what you presumed to be Beth’s dad, you call out to them. “Summer, Morty!” 

The group of fours head’s snap towards you as you walk over. “Aunty!” Summer exclaims, pulling you into an aggressive hug as Morty hugs the other side of you. “Y/N!” Jerry's excitement to see you is evident in his voice. “Aunty? You didn’t tell me you had a sister Jerry.” The fourth person in the garage chimes up, his eyes full of an unrecognisable glint as they take in every inch of your body. A brief, unamused chuckle leaves your lips as you fold your arms over your chest. “He hasn’t had one for nearly a decade now. I’m only here for these two.” You say as Jerry’s expression falls. A smirk pulls at the older man’s lips as he extends a hand out to you. “Rick Sanchez.” 

Taking his hand, a tingling wave of electricity floods through your body and you hesitate, looking up at Rick. It was clear he had felt it too, his eyes unable to leave yours as his eyebrows furrow with both intrigue and confusion. “I-uh, Y/N Smith.” You stammer, quickly retracting your hand from his. While Jerry doesn’t appear to notice, too hurt from your words as he walks back out onto the lawn, it was clear Summer and Morty had. “Aunty, come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.” Summer says, hurriedly reaching for your arm as she pulls you through the door leading from the garage into the house as you struggle to recentre your thoughts. 

Closing the door after you, Morty turns to Rick. “What in the fuck was that Rick?” Rick’s eyes narrow as he turns around to his bench, leaning over it with his hands gripping the edge. “I-I-I don’t know Morty. We just sh-shook hands, I didn’t do anything to her, I swear.” 

“Yeah you better not have! Aunty Y/N’s nice, I like her! If you ever fucking hurt her Rick-.” Morty yells, his hand shaking as he points it threateningly at his grandfather. Groaning, Rick turns around to face him, unbothered by the finger now jabbing in his chest. “Listen Morty, I wouldn’t hurt her. First of all, sh-sh-she’s a Jerry hater and we need more people like that in this world. Second, I need to figure out what the fuck happened back there an-an-and I need her to not not like me for me to find answers.” Rick turns around to grab his drink off his workbench, taking a skull before letting out a burp. “Now move.” He says, walking past Morty, who is struggling to come up with a response, into the house. 

You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t noticed Rick watching you throughout the afternoon, standing in the back of the room with one hand in his lab coat and the other always holding a new can of alcohol. However, it’d also be a lie if you said you didn’t like his attention. After the incident in the garage mere hours before, you have been unable to rid your thoughts of him, some pure, many… not so much. “Aunty?” Summer’s voice brings you back to reality. Snapping your eyes down to your cards, your expression remains unreadable as you push all your chips into the middle of the table. “All in.” Rick’s eyes flicker with interest as he hears your words. You’d finally given in to the many offers of poker from your niece, nephew and other guests and Rick was curious to see how well you knew the game, so far you were exceeding his expectations. 

Turning your head to Morty, you wait for his response. “Fold.” He sighs, discarding his cards on the table. All other players opted to fold apart from Summer. Flipping her cards over, she shows four 9s and a 6. “Four of a kind. Y/N?” Beth says as everyone’s eyes turn to you. Taking a sip from your drink, you grin as you turn over your cards, showing everyone an Ace, King, Queen, Jack, and 10 of spades. “Royal flush.” You say, drinking the remainder of your bottle before standing up and walking through to the kitchen. Putting the bottle down on the counter, you pull two flasks from your jacket, each containing fireball and vodka respectively. 

Taking the cap off both flasks, you empty them into your bottle. “Impressive game.” Rick’s voice sounds from behind you and you jump, spinning around to try to hide the excessively strong alcohol mix behind you. “I- thank you. Sorry, I didn't expect you to be behind me.” A smirk pulls at his lips as he leans against the counter opposite you. “Clearly.” His eyebrow raises as he looks around your shoulder. “What are you mixing up over there?” An amused smile appears on your face as you pass him your bottle. “Guess.” He takes it from you, staring at the light brown liquid inside before shrugging and taking a sip. His eyes widen as he swallows, staring at the bottle in shock. “J-jesus fuck. Fireball and vodka?” He coughs, looking up at you as you nod.

“You take drugs too or is the alcohol enough?” He asks, his eyes catching yours as you take your drink back. Unable to break your gaze away from his, you can feel your heart racing as you nod in response. “Yeah, I take drugs.” You could slap yourself. Never before had you become so putty in a man’s gaze but Rick had a certain hold over you that you couldn’t explain. A single chuckle of approval falls from his lips before he grabs for your wrist, leading you through the dining room and entryway to the only door on the right. Opening the door, he lets you walk through before shutting it behind you. Taking a seat on Rick’s bed, you take care not to touch the blueprints and machine designs covering the walls of his room as he rummages through a box near the door. “Molly?” He asks, pulling out a bag of the white powder. “Fuck yes.” You say, a grin pulling at your face as an approved hum leaves Rick’s lips. Pulling the case off of your phone, you grab a straw and an old card from your wallet as he empties half of the bag on the back of your phone. 

Quickly halving the powder on your phone, you make two neat lines. Offering out the straw, Rick takes it as he blocks his right nostril and inhales a line as you hold the phone up for him. “Oh yeah. That always makes my day.” He says, holding your phone up for you as you expertly inhale the remaining line. “Fuck yes.” You reply, enjoying the familiar sting of the powder in your nose. Taking your phone back from him, you dart your tongue out, collecting the rest of the drug on the tip. Rick’s eyes darken with desire as he watches you. Swallowing, you realise your actions and your eyes widen. “Sorry.” 

“I wasn’t complaining.” He says nonchalantly. You can feel your cheeks flushing at his words, averting your gaze to the blueprints on his walls. Taking a sip from his can, Rick takes a seat next to you. “Computer, play playlist 80085.” You can’t help but chuckle upon hearing the playlist name. “Boobs?” He looks over at you, shocked you even know what it spells as A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie’s ‘My Shit’ plays. “What? Boobs are great.” He shrugs and you can’t help but laugh as you begin to fish in your pocket. “Definitely.” Your fingers brush over the small bag in your pocket and an amused smirk pulls across Rick’s face as he sees the contents. “Y-y-you know Y/N, the resemblance between you and Jerry becomes less the longer I’m near you… I-i- like it.” 

“Good, I hate that he’s my brother. Now, you got a bong?” You quickly divert topics as you open the previously chopped bag of weed. Reaching under his bed, Rick pulls out a glass skull-shaped bong and passes it to you as you pull your lighter out from your jeans pocket. You sink the cone almost as fast as you managed to pack it, exhaling as you pass the weed and bong over to him. Falling back on the bed, your head nods along to the beat of the music as you feel the drugs beginning to take effect. “C-congratulations. You’ve officially been in my room longer than any of the family ever has.” Rick says, a cloud of smoke exiting his mouth as he does. You laugh, turning your head to face him as you sit up to take the bong from him. “Words that I’m sure many women have heard before.” You laugh as he looks at you. 

“Nope.” Is all he responds with as you laugh. “Didn’t realise you swung the other way, many men then.” He rolls his eyes as you pack your cone. “Again, nope. I-i-it’s the first time I’ve said it. I don’t bring people to my room.” You almost choke on your cone upon hearing this, the smoke catching in your throat before you have to pause, quickly exerting it from your lungs. “So why me?” You ask before finishing your cone. Rick hesitates before telling himself ‘fuck it’ and responding. “You’re different. I don’t… entirely hate you.” He pauses and you look up at him, both of your breaths catching in your throats. His eyes dart from yours to your lips as you feel your heart rate increase. Leaning over, you press your lips against his as he closes the gap, his hand coming up to cup your face. The tingling wave from the garage returns the moment your lips meet, flooding your veins with ecstasy as he takes the bong from your hand, placing it on the ground. Pushing you backwards, you fall back onto the bed as he shifts his weight above you. 

Sucking your lower lip between his teeth, he gently bites down, extracting a soft moan from you. Rick lets off a small groan as he hears you, his bulge twitching against your thigh. Reaching up, you hurriedly pull his lab coat off his shoulders, along with his shirt as he grasps the hem of your top, pulling it over your head to reveal your perfectly-fitted bra. “Jesus fuck. Computer, engage soundproof mode.” He murmurs before attaching his lips to the crook of your neck as his hand entangles in your hair, pulling your head to the side. Your breathing intensifies as he lightly trails his hand over the sensitive skin on your stomach up to your breasts, taking your nipple in between his thumb and forefinger. You can feel your core drip with desire as he sucks the skin on your neck into his mouth, your back arching as he squeezes your nipples, his hips grinding down against your thigh. You can feel the size of him through the fabric and you can feel your arousal pool in your underwear. 

Dipping his hand under your back, he expertly unclips your bra before lowering his mouth to your breasts. His free hand dips down under the waistband of your panties, running his finger through your folds, a desperate moan falling off your lips. “Fuck, you’re so wet for me.” He groans, sucking your arousal off of his fingers before standing up, his hands undoing his belt. He didn’t even have to tell you to get on your knees, you were already there. “Fuck you’re such a good slut for me, aren’t you?” He chuckles as you nod, dropping his pants and boxers to the floor. Just the mere sight of his size had your core tightening with lust. Sucking the tip into your mouth, your tongue runs up and down over his slit as he curses, tightening his grip in your hair. “Good whore, you know your place is on your knees in front of me, don’t you?” You hum in agreement as you draw more of his length into your mouth, causing his tip to hit the back of your throat, his hips bucking in pleasure as you stifle a gag, your eyes filling with tears. His grip in your hair tightens as you pull back before taking more of him in. 

“Holy shit, you dirty little whore, you wanna take all of me in your filthy mouth, don’t you?” He groans as you nod, sucking your cheeks around his cock as he pushes the rest of his length down your throat. You instantly gag but his hold on your head keeps you still as he pulls out slightly before pushing himself back in again. “Fuck, such a pretty sight you are with my cock in your mouth.” He groans, speeding up the pace, fucking your face as precum dribbles down your throat. Panting heavily, he withdraws himself from your throat as you gasp for air. “Stand up.” He says, his voice deep with desire. You obey, quickly getting to your feet as he pushes you back onto the bed again. His hands undo your jeans, unburdening you of the rest of your clothes. 

Digging his fingers into your hips, he drags you to the edge of his bed, your legs falling on either side of him. Your core tightens as he runs the tip of his cock from your throbbing clit to your folds before slowly pushing himself inside of you. Rick’s name falls off your lips in a desperate moan as he fills you up. “Shit, your fucking milking my cock. You’re so fucking tight for me.” He groans as he presses himself further inside of you, stretching your walls around him. “Holy shit.” You gasp once his full length is inside of you, your hands grasping for the bedsheets. Grabbing your legs, he pulls them over his shoulder and you could swear you see stars from the extra depth. Clenching yourself around him, a pleasured groan falls off both of your lips as Rick digs his nails into your hips. Curses escape the both of you as he slowly begins thrusting into you. The sound of your arousal is sinful, mixing with pleasured moans and your skin slapping against his. Neither of you could hear the music over the noise both of you are creating. You can’t contain your pleasure as Rick increases his pace, your eyes rolling back in your head as he fills every inch of you. 

Letting go of your legs, Rick quickly pulls himself out from inside you. “Move back up on the bed.” He orders and you quickly obey, needing him to fill you up again. Repositioning himself in between your legs, he quickly slides back inside you, a pleasured moan escaping you. “Fuck, your pussy is squeezing my cock, are you that desperate for me whore?” He groans and you frantically nod. “Fuck yes, you feel so fucking good.” You’re aware of how needy you’re being but the feeling of him inside you is heavenly, the way he stretches you out makes your core tighten in pleasure. “What a good girl.” He grins as he roughly slams into you, extracting a string of moans from your lips. 

A knock on the door startles you, your head turning towards the sound as Beth’s voice comes from the other side of the wall. “Rick? Have you seen Y/N? She disappeared a while ago and we haven’t seen her.” Rick, however, doesn’t falter. His hand covers your mouth as he continues to buck his hips into you. “Be a good whore and stay quiet. Computer, deactivate soundproof mode.” He growls before responding to Beth. “Nope, I haven't seen her.” His pace only increases as he speaks, your eyes rolling back as he continues to bottom you out. “Alright, well let me know if you do. The kids are asking for her.” She calls back. Trailing his free hand down your body, Rick begins lazily rubbing circles over your clit with his thumb, a muffled moan escaping you as your body shakes with pleasure. His eyes dart to yours as he smirks, focusing more attention on your clit as he continues to pound into you. “Yep, will do.” He responds to Beth before turning the soundproof system back on. “What did I fucking say?” He growls, moving his hand from your mouth to your throat, squeezing the veins on the side of your neck. “Be quiet.” You say in response, your legs shaking in pleasure. 

“And what did you do?” He roughly thrusts into you as he asks this, forcing you into the brink of orgasm. “Fuck, I-I didn’t listen.” You moan as your body continues to shake, your toes curling in overwhelming pleasure. “Don’t you dare fucking cum. You got it, whore? You disobey me and you get punished. Fucking hold it.” He growls, slamming harder into you as your vision blurs. “Rick, please. I need to cum. I can’t hold it, please I need to.” Begging to cum is not something you’re used to but you know you can’t hold it, your body uncontrollably twitching as you try to obey him. “No. Hold it.” He reiterates, slamming himself further inside you, emphasising each word. His thrusts increase his pace, each one getting sloppier as he gets closer to his own orgasm. Rick’s hips stall as he reaches his high, his hands moving to support himself above you as a guttural moan escapes him. “Cum for me.” He gasps, thrusting into you as his hand moves back down your clit. Those three words were all you were waiting for. Rick’s name falls off your lips amongst a string of moans as a wave of ecstasy crashes over you, your body arching in pleasure as your breathing intensifies. 

Withdrawing his softening member from inside of you, Rick leans forward to grasp your wrists, pulling you up to the headboard. Two metal cuffs surround your wrist, securing you in place as you look up at him, startled. He smirks at the sight. “Oh Y/N, we’re not done.”

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A/N: This was honestly so fun to write. I've been on a bit of a Rick and Morty obsession lately. Part 2?

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[detroitbydark]

Every Dog Has His Day

Chapter 3

Characters: Hound/OC

Summary: Good boys, fuck boys, and the things between

Warnings: Aggression toward women.

A/N: does anyone feel like I should put Mando’a translations in at the end? Would it be helpful?

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“Good morning GAR. It’s 0400. What does “o” stand for? Well I can think of a few things but let’s go with Oh maker, I’m ready to hit the rack. Any boys in white care to join me?”

Hound would. In a heartbeat. In a Coruscant minute.

Hound is in the gym early. Really early. He’s never needed much sleep to function at his peak but 0400 is stupid o’clock even for him. He passes the time until the mess opens lifting while Grizzer snores near his armor across the room. Right now the massiff is using his rolled up kama as a pillow and Hound wonders idly how hard it’s going to be to clean the drool off. He’s alone with his thoughts and the radio.

He falls into the steady rhythm of sets and reps. He wasn’t a small vod by any means. There’s been a joke in his batch that the settings had malfunctioned on his pod. He was only a half an inch taller, but he was thicker than his batchmates, not commando big but enough to be noticeable in a line up. Lifting weights kept his bulk from atrophying. He didn’t mind the small layer of fluff over his muscles but he wanted them strong and ready for whatever the Grand Army called him to do.

The radio plays quietly over the weight room’s audio channel. Nuna’s smokey voice is a highlight too late to save a very bad week. Two bombings and a half dozen threats (most, copy cats) had kept the Guard on edge and high alert. He and Grizzer had worked them all, tracking and searching wreckage for survivors. Hound glances at his partner. One too many dead bodies had left the massiff feeling dejected and down. Not even his favorite tug toy or a big meaty bantha knuckle has been able to cheer him up. Hound isn’t feeling much better.

He’s not sure what was causing the surge but he knows he’d give just about anything for it to be over with. On top of that (and a far better distraction than the chaos and death of terrorist attacks), there was still the matter of Nuna herself that had him spun out of sorts. They’d had fun at the Fete, even if it had only been a short time. She hadn’t been faking that and he certainly hadn’t. Maybe he’d come on too strong with the call but, honestly, he’d thought it was cute. Maybe he’d embarrassed her?

He wasn’t ready to give up just yet. It was how he’d gotten his name. Tenacious like a hound. The trainers on Kamino had joked that once he was on a trail he wasn’t giving up ‘til he completed his prime objective.

His prime objective now was getting Nuna Skii’s commlink. And a date.

It didn’t matter that Rule had teased him after his on-air brush-off or that Ryk had given him a look that said he didn’t believe he'd had lunch with anybody let alone Nuna Skii. Hound knew though, and he knew that she’d had fun. If she hadn't, why had she smiled so brightly when he’d asked her questions? Why had she braced her hand on his arm and dissolved into laughter when he said something that was, admittedly, not as funny as it sounded in his head?

The barbell comes to rest on the rack with a clatter. Grizzer looks up from his nap, his great tongue licking lazily at his maw.

“Do you think I’m being stupid?”

The massiff stares blankly.

“Well, yeah, but she did seem interested.”

Grizzer rises slowly, stretching with a groan before ambling over to his partner and laying his head in Hound’s lap. He manages to roll onto his back without losing contact. Hound reaches down to scratch his leathery belly.

“Yeah, well, there’s something about her I really like. I think I should try again.”

Grizzer whines.

“But how, you ask? I’m not sure, bud.”

“In bigger news, it’s the end of the week and I think we all deserve a bit of a treat, don’t you?”

Grizzer turns toward Nuna’s voice and lets out a happy sound. Hound laughs.

“No treats before breakfast, Grizz. You know the rules.” The massiff offers his handler a sad pair of eyes and Hound shakes his head. “Not gonna fall for that.”

“Tonight ladies and lads we’re having ladies’ night at 79’s. Come find yourself a battle buddy and if one of you lucky listeners can find me I may have a special surprise just for you!”

Hound listens intently. Ryk and Rule were sure to be down for a night out after the week they’d had. The Commander has been busy keeping his assistant working late so he likely wouldn’t be game - not that Hound could blame him - but Thire might be convinced. Since the scuffle with the 501st boys a few weeks back the buddy system has been in play. The more the merrier as far as he was concerned. Now all he had to do was find a way to talk to her.

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“If you pull on the skirt one more time, I swear to the maker I will end you.”

Nuna rolls her eyes at Tully’s threat. The skirt was too short and the Pantoran was out of her fekking mind if she thought this wouldn’t be the way the rest of the night played out.

“I dressed you pretty for a reason. Stop trying to ruin it.”

“I look like a cased sausage.” She tries - and fails - to keep the whine from her voice. Tully softens and grips her shoulders gently.

“First off, if that's the case, you are the sexiest sausage I’ve ever seen.” Nuna stifles a laugh behind a pout. “Second,” Nuna winces as her friend punches her in the shoulder, “There’s more where that came from if I hear one more second of negative self talk tonight. Got me?”

“Kriff Tull-“ Nuna rubs at her shoulder. “Fine, I’m the sexiest sausage Coruscant has ever seen. Just don’t hurt me anymore.”

The Pantoran laughs and leans forward, placing a smacking kiss on the shorter woman’s head. “I love you and your issues,” she mumbles.

“Can we just have a drink now?”

79’s is packed. Shebs to gett’se. There’s the usual mix of clones from various divisions and battalions crowded in small groups of grey and white with pops of color signaling who they were to the world. There’s also a large contingent of women - every species, color and shape known to man. Nuna smiles happily as she brings her drink to her lips only to frown a moment later at the deep plum smear of lipstick on the glass.

“No transfer my ass,” she grumbles as she takes another long pull. Tully bought the first round, and whatever it is is sweet on Nuna’s tongue like star cherry candy with the familiar burn of booze behind it. It’s good but if she fills her night with more of them she’ll be nursing a killer hangover come morning. “I’ve got the next round.”

“As if I was going to let you get away without paying your fair share.”

Nuna rolls her eyes as she finishes the last of her drink. She’s already feeling just a little bit more loose and relaxed. Her hips move in a mindless, lazy figure-eight to the driving thud of the bass. Not her favorite, but Nuna loved to dance nearly as much as she loved music. Well maybe not that much, but certainly a close second.

Back home on Irmenu both had been frowned upon by the Priesthood and if they didn’t approve it was almost heretical to go against them. It hadn’t been ‘til she’d been exiled with her parents that she’d heard her first real music - outside of mindless chanting - and her first experience with really letting go and letting her body take over. It was freeing. Liberating. It was at that moment that she’d known she wanted to work around it, to be part of it somehow, for the rest of her life. It had been the driving force for so long that she had a hard time looking outside of it. Maybe that was how she’d gotten to nearly 25 and had nothing but a paycheck and an empty apartment to keep her company. Tully tries to say something over the noise of the speakers.

She had Tully too. A better best friend no girl has ever had.

“Have you finished yours yet?” The Pantoran holds up her glass, shaking the lone ice cubes around for show. Nuna holds hers up to show hers in the same state of emptiness.

“Ready for another?”

“You have to ask? Pony up girl. It’s your turn.”

There was something nice about the anonymity of her radio persona. As she moves through the crowd she doesn’t need to worry about being recognized or stopped by a fan looking for a picture. The one disappointment was that she still had to wait at the bar like everyone else.

She taps on the bar once to get the tender’s attention. The Twi’lek woman gives her a nod and the finger gesture for ‘one moment’ before quickly changing it to ‘two moments.�� Nuna blows a breath from the corner of her mouth. Ok, maybe a little notoriety wouldn’t be so bad once in a while. She’s waiting patiently, hip pressed against the bar, booted foot tapping along to the beat when someone taps her on the shoulder.

“Nuna?” She cringes at the voice, doing her best to press a convincing smile into place as she turns. “Hey, I thought that was you.” She flinches when a long thin finger flicks at one of the curls she’d managed to cultivate in her short hair. It bounces merrily as she looks into the face of the last man she’d hoped to see.

She only has one to go off of but, as far as exes went, Nuna was fairly certain she had one of the worst. All of the things she’d once found incredibly handsome about Alistar S’uun were now… what did Tully refer to him as?… ah yes, smarmy.

She’d been lonely and wholly too innocent to get involved with him when she’d first arrived in the Triple-Zero, but that hadn’t stopped her from losing her heart - and other things - to the arrogant son of a bantha. He’d been all slicked back hair and clothes that screamed money. He’d taken her to nice places, introduced her to important people. She’d thought it was love until she’d walked in on him and his assistant one day when she’d stopped by to bring him lunch.

To say it ended badly was an understatement, but she’d been lucky. She hadn’t seen him in nearly a standard year. Lucky until tonight.

“Alistar,” she greets, tucking her hair back behind her ears, as if it would stop him from touching it if he wanted to. Alistar did what he wanted when he wanted, and you either dealt with it or got out of the way.

“You look great. Lost a few of those troublesome pounds?”

A wave of annoyance washes over her as she glances back over her shoulder and toward the bartender. She just needed her karking drinks so she could make her escape. The Twi’lek is still occupied further down the bar.

“How have you been?” she asks, ignoring his questions and the undertones it entailed.

“Oh you know, doing a bit of this and that. Father is letting me take some of reins on the new acquisitions-“

“That’s lovely, Alistar. I’m very happy for you,” she lies through her teeth. His father was a shipping magnate and nepotism had been good to Alistar.

Nuna glances toward where she’d left Tully and sees a flash of red and white talking to her. Her heart stutters only to realize that it’s not the now somewhat familiar armor Hound wore. The trooper is somewhat smaller, less broad through the middle. The tell-tale snarl is missing from his helmet.

“I hear that little radio show of yours is still doing well.”

Here it comes, she thinks. This was always how it started. Alistar would make some little undermining comment and she’d get upset. Inevitably she’d be crying and he’d tell her she needed to get a sense of humor. Nuna could see it all unfolding before her eyes, but this time she wasn’t going to fall for it.

“I always knew you had a face for radio-” he smiles widely holding his hands up, “Oops! you know what I meant, right Nunz?”

“Yeah, Al, I got you loud and clear.” Her smile is forced and she grits her teeth with such force she’s surprised one doesn’t crack. “So it’s been lovely catching up but I’m going to go find Tull-“ His hand catches her upper arm as she turns to leave. She regrets wearing the sleeveless top Tully had picked out. She doesn’t like the feel of his skin against her own.

“Still friends with the Pant? Maker, you really are desperate aren’t you? Stay and talk for a while. I’m better company.” She shakes off his grip, his smile now beginning to look just as fake as the one she’d been wearing.

She promised herself wasn’t going to take the bait, really she wasn’t, she was better than that… but he’d brought Tully into it.

“She cares about me more than you ever did.” The smile is gone now and Aliatar’s pale brows arch up in surprise at the venom in her voice.

“So are you laying like a cold fish for her to fuck you too? Low standards-“

She turns to move again, puts one foot in front of the other, before he yanks her back. The heel of her boot slips and her stumble only makes his grip tighten. Her arm twists in a way that sends pain shooting like wildfire from her shoulder to the tips of her fingers.

“Don’t you dare walk-“

Nuna had never hurt so much as a fly in her life, but the blinding rage that rises up from her gut does something to her. Before she can even comprehend what she’s doing her balled up fist is connecting solidly with Alistar’s face. He doubles over while Nuna whines, snapping her hand back to her chest before beginning to shake it roughly. The pain she’d felt in her arm was nothing to what her knuckles were feeling now.

“Kriff, Kriff, Kriff,” she grits out, flexing her fingers.

“Why you dumb little nerf cow-“ She glances up to see Alistar take a step toward her. Something akin to fear prickles at the back of her senses. She’d seen that look before in his eyes. It scared her now like it had back then.

“Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.” Red and white armor steps into Nunas view. “What seems to be the problem here?” Hound's voice is easy going as his head swings from Nuna to Alistar, who is rubbing his jaw, his other finger jabbing accusingly in Nuna’s direction.

“This little bitch-“

“Alright buddy” Hound holds a hand up calmingly “I’m going to stop you right there. Let me clarify-“ he turns to Nuna fully. Her heart stutters as he pulls the hand she’s cradling close to her chest up for inspection. “What’s going on here, sweetheart?” he asks quietly.

“I was just trying to leave and he grabbed me. It hurt,” she tries to tamp down the tremble in her voice, “I just wanted him to let go.”

Hound gives her an unreadable look. His thumbs stroke gently over her knuckles. Something warm springs to life in her belly that takes the edge off her discomfort.

“Hey, you! Clone,” Alistar’s voice rises up, “I demand this woman be arrested. I’ve been assaulted. You’re in the Guard. Do your job.”

There’s a tic in Hound’s jaw, really the only thing that gives the slightest hint of his annoyance as he turns back to the other man. A small crowd is gathering around them, mostly clones with a few civilians scattered in.

“Ok friend, first it’s Sargeant. Second,” he glances around and Nuna sees familiar colors of clone armor; blues, yellows, and reds surrounding them, “From my vantage point it looked like you were hurting the lady.” The clones around them nod in agreement.

“Oh this is just fracking great!” Alistar laughs, throwing his head back and taking a deep breath before glaring between Hound and Nuna. “You’re fucking her aren’t you?” he spits at Hound before rounding on Nuna, “You’re fucking government property now? That’s low even for you.”

Nuna feels tears welling up. She didn’t want to do anything now but go home and get away from the looks she just knew were coming her way. She glances down at her feet. When she looks up Hound is grabbing Alistar by the shoulders. His movements are quick, efficient, and practiced.

Hound tips Alistar forward just enough to bring an armored knee up into the other man’s unprotected gut. Alistar doubles over with a strangled wheeze, gripping at the bar for support before sinking to his knees. Hound turns his soft eyes to her.

“You’ve never punched someone.” It’s not a question. He takes her hand again, thumb stroking over her tender knuckles. “Wiggle your thumb,” he encourages, offering her a bright smile when she does.

“Ok. Good. It’s not broken,” he announces to himself, “Never wrap your fingers around your thumb. Next time you might not be so lucky.”

Nuna nods mutely.

“So what you want to do is-“ he proceeds to shape her hand into a fist. His big gloved hands completely envelop her smaller one as he tucks her thumb against the outside of her balled fingers. He presses it firmly as if to make the point that this was where it was supposed to be.

From the way he’s acting, she’s more inclined to believe she’s part of one of the ‘girl power’ self defense classes at the community center around the corner from her apartment as opposed to a clone bar. Hound is pleasant- no, he’s nearly perky.

“See how much nicer that looks? Certainly safer for your hand.” Nuna hears a few clones around them hum in agreement. Surreal. “Now, it wasn’t a bad first swing, but you didn’t follow through.”

“Kriffing… seven hells,” Alistar wheezes behind them. Hound makes a sound in his throat to catch her attention from the other man struggling to stand up.

“What you need to do next time is follow through. The target isn’t his jaw. It’s this magic little spot behind his jaw. Do you understand?”

Nuna’s eyes are drawn to Alistar who is rising to full height, murder written in his eyes.

“Hound-“ she tries to warn him but he merrily waves her off.

“Let me show you, ok?” The big man turns without missing a beat and his fist makes its best attempt at going through Alistar’s jaw. Her ex crumples into a heap, platinum hair disheveled, onto the sticky bar floor.

“Kriffing glass jawed pretty boy,” Hound mumbles as he turns back to her just as jovial and happy as he’d been devouring the nerf skewers and talking about Grizzer at the fete.

She hears a small cheer of “Oya!” go through the gathered ranks as a few clones grab the unconscious man by the shoulder and the rest begin to disperse back to their various areas.

“See? Just like that.”

Nuna swallows hard, bites back a nervous smile and finds her voice. “Just like that?”

“Yup.” Hound rocks back on his heels. “So do you wanna come have a drink with me- us?”

He sounds so hopeful, like pulling the whole Jedi Knight in shining armor bit hadn’t won him at least a little favor. She nods and he gestures for her to move ahead of him, leaving the other troopers to see her unconscious ex out the door.

Hound takes up a position behind her, his hand hovering over her hip to guide her toward the table his brothers stood around. Tully is already there with a serious look on her face.

“Are you ok?” She takes Nuna by the shoulders, looks her over.

“I’m good. I promise.”

“Maker I hate that no good piece of bantha spit.” One of the Guard behind her chokes out a laugh. Tully’s eyes fly to Hound, narrowed and assessing. “So this is the guy?”

“I’m the guy? What guy?” He looks at Nuna questioningly. Something mischievous sparkles in his gentle brown eyes.

Nuna feels her cheeks heat up as she bites out her friend's name. Tully ignores her.

“You bought her lunch at the Festival of Life?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And you called into the show to ask her on a date?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Tully looks to Nuna and then back to Hound. “What’s up with the ma’am?”

Hound rubs at the back of his neck. His brothers snicker in the background. “Courtesy, ma’am?”

“Call me Tully,” she orders shortly, finally relaxing. Hound breathes out a sigh of relief.

“Vod? You gonna introduce us to your little friend?”

[writinginthedarkwood]

Demon Dabi x Reader

A stranger in the woods has a peculiar offer for an unsuspecting fem reader.

Halloween special won the vote! I’m writing kinky things for kinktober! Send me a request!

Warning: This is quite a bit more dark than some of my other works. It’s not super graphic or anything but you’ve been warned.

“We really should not be here.” You swallowed what felt like a rock. Everyone thought it was funny that you were so frightened to be out here. I mean, it’s October. Walking around in a cemetery, at midnight with a bunch of cheap flashlights? This feels like a horror movie. You held your flashlight with shaky hands, your trio of friends giggled as they started to leave you behind. “Hey wait for me!” You called and your blonde friend Lilly turned around and jumped at you. “OoOooooO!!” She jumped around you, acting like a ghost. “I’m an ooold spirit that haunts these woods!!” You stopped and crossed your arms and rolled your eyes. “Quit teasing me. I’m not scared of ghosts!” You walked past your friend and she jogged a bit to catch up. “Yes you are you big baby! You know what they say about this forest...” Lilly’s sister Iris turned around to poke you. “They don’t say anything about this forest. I’m not afraid of ghosts, I’m scared of real threats like getting lost in the pitch black woods!” You shouted, not really getting too irritated. Your friends love you but think you could loosen up, you frequently close your eyes at scary movies and don’t go on a lot of dates. The three of them always try to push you past your boundaries, and you’re grateful they care enough about you to drag you out for some fun. Your third friend Ami playfully slapped Iris. “Quit teasing her so hard. I think I see the smoke from J’s party!”  She pointed and took off running.

Lilly giggled and ran after her, leaving you and Iris. “Not to be too freaky, but I did get a cryptic warning from J when he invited us.” Her voice lowered and you rolled you eyes again. “Whatever Iris.” You brushed her off and she grabbed your arm. “I guess a dude went missing around here a couple months ago, and someone else a few months before that. He told me to take my taser just in case.” She handed it to me. “I plan on getting trashed so I need you to hold it.” She said with a wink. She started to jog towards the smoke too. “Since you’re so brave now!” She called over her shoulder playfully. Of course she’s planning to get wasted, you’ll be the sober babysitter once again! “I’m plenty brave...” You muttered to yourself, grabbed hold of the taser tightly. “Ghosts aren’t even real...” You started to trudge after them. “Not a believer are ya?” A low raspy voice called from behind. You tripped forward and twisted around with a gasp. You looked up at a fearsome man. He had piercing turquoise eyes that shone in the dark. You dropped your flashlight and a warm hand clamped over your mouth. He held up a finger to his mouth and shushed you, promptly disappearing into a cloud of thick smoke. You gasped after his hand left your mouth and stood their shaking. “Come on Y/N! Hurry up!” You heard your friends call into the dark for you. You bent down to pick up your flashlight, it had turned itself off after you dropped it. You pressed the rubber button on the side and it lazily flickered on, just to sputter right off. You slapped the bottom of it a few times, begging it to turn back on. “Dammit... please!” You shook the flashlight a few more time’s and nothing happened. You tossed the stupid thing to the floor and tried to call out to your friends. Your voice just came out in a small squeak, barely even making an audible sound. You took a step forward, clutching the taser firmly in your sweaty palms. What the hell just happened? You cursed at yourself for being so stupid. What if that was a serial killer or something! Your feet crunched crisp decaying leaves, the only sound you hear beside your shallow breathing.

“Are you coming Y/N?” Something sounded off about Lilly’s voice. Her usually chipper tone was hollow, and echoed loudly through all of the tree leaves. You stopped walking and narrowed your eyes. Where did the moonlight go? It’s so much darker now. The smell of burning pine wood flooded your nose and you coughed. A thick smoke was hanging above your head.

“You know, you’re kind of cute.” That low voice called out and you spun around, nothing was behind you. A dark laugh echoed through your ears and the tree’s blew harshly in the wind. Your body finally allowed you to pick up and run. You sprinted through the forest, trying to dodge low branches and thick foliage. The smoke started to effect your lungs, you coughed into your elbow, looking away from your feet on the path for just a moment. You ran directly into someone tall and they caught you. “Hey now, where do you think you’re going?” Two hands grasped your shoulders and held you firmly in place. “I thought we were just getting started.” He smirked and clicked his tongue. You couldn’t see his features in the dark, all you can see is the slightest glimmer of silver metal in various places on his face. You clicked on the taser and jammed it into his stomach, hoping to send an insane amount of voltage coursing through his body. A spark flashed out of the end of the small but powerful device, a loud zapping sound bursting through the air and hitting your ears.

The man shivered like something cold touched his neck, but was otherwise unaffected by the electrocution. “Hey now, no need to be so aggressive.” He purred, white teeth shone out from behind a devilish smirk. “Aren’t we just having a little bit of fun?” Your eyes were glued to the useless taser, your fingers still tightly coiled around it. “Please, call me Dabi.” He said, aloof.

Blue flames erupted around you, the damp foliage hissing with smoke. The fire revealed your situation, you thought he might have been wearing a long sleeve shirt, but really his arms were covered in a deep tissue scar. His face had multiple staples connecting burnt tissue to healthier looking pale skin. His eye’s were a startling turquoise, the fire illuminating the madness that glazed over his pupils.

The fire licked at the sides of your jacket, the rush of the heat forcing you closer to him. You stumbled into his chest. He laughed darkly and grabbed your chin, forcing you to make eye contact with him. His warm fingers pinched you harshly, you attempted to push him away and then quickly realized you’d shove yourself right into the burning forest. “Feeling feisty are we?” He had no smile on his face now, his look holding a menacing curiosity. “So tell me, little red riding hood...” He ran a finger down the side of your face. “What brings you out here to the big bad wolfs forest?” The fires around you disappeared, the forest that was quickly going up in flames returned to normal. The smoke dissipated, the moonlight peaking through the tops of the tree’s as he let go of his firm hold on you. “What... what are you?” The words fell out of your shocked mouth, your fear being overcome by something more confusing.

His looming height, his deep voice. The way the blue light had danced around you two like sinister ballerinas. You should be screaming and terrified, clawing your way away from him.

Yet you felt something else.

You felt like you were in a dream.

“Answering my question with another question?” He took a step towards you.

You took one back, not taking your eyes off of his face.

His somehow, lovely face...

“That isn’t very polite, doll face.” He tilted his his jaw up when he spoke to you, his eyebrow half cocked. “Do I need to teach you some manners?” He took another step towards you and you stammered back, shaking your head no with wide eyes. He smiled, drinking up your fear. “Alright then, let’s try this again.” He asked crossing one arm over his chest, holding the other hand out, letting a blue flame hover over his palm. “What has got such a nice looking young lady walking around out here by herself?”

“I’m... I’m with my friends...” You took a shallow breath and tried to sound more confident. “There’s supposed to be a party here tonight.” You said a little more sturdy. Maybe if he knows people are looking for you, he’ll leave you alone.

“I didn’t peg you for a party girl.” He let out a raspy laugh. “That sounds kinda fun, maybe I’ll drop by for some fun.” He licked his front teeth, each tooth in his mouth was pointed like a sharks. You gasped and fell backwards, your shoulders hit the base of a strong tree, sending a sharp pain up your spine. “Thanks for the invitation sweet heart.” He drew out his last words with a deep bellied laugh, the flames in his palm spreading to his entire body.

In just a moment, he was gone.

“Hey there you are!” Iris walked around the paths turn as she yelled at you. “I thought we really got separated for a minute there.” She stopped in her tracks as she saw you plastered against the tree, your fingers digging into the bark shooting sharp pain under your nails. Your face is void of color, and your chest is heaving. “Oh my god! You look like you just saw a ghost.” She rushed over to you and grabbed your hand, pulling you down the path. “I know you can be a bit of a chicken, but we barely ran ahead! You should of just followed us.” She sounded more irritated than worried about your well being. “Iris there was someone out here.” You forced the words out of your wind pipe, looking over your shoulder.

The night air felt heavy, like has was standing right in front of you, using all of the fresh air for himself.

“Yeah duh, there’s like, thirty people out here.” She scoffed pulling you towards the sound of speakers thumping. You could hear the bass boosting, people were laughing and singing. You yanked on her hand, trying to pull her back so she would listen. “I’m not talking about the party there was a man and he-” She whipped her head and scowled at you. “Can you chill? You’re acting nuts.“

Her words stung, but it’s not like this was the first time your friends had brushed you off.

You bit your tongue. “It’s not really the time to be pulling a prank.” She softened her harsh tone a bit. “I have someone I want you to meet.” She said, her mood completely shifting. Her voice was sing song-y, she waggled her eyebrows at me. “He’s super smart. I think you’ll like him.”

The party was in full swing, a small bon fire was burning in the center of the clearing. A few cut logs circled around the fire, along with a few canvas camp chairs. They were all abandoned, everyone either dancing or standing around talking into their drinks. Lily waved frantically at me, she was hanging off of J’s arm, her face pink from the alcohol already. Iris followed you over to them and Lily touched your face a little harder than she meant too and giggled. “H-ey!” She pushed a piece of your hair behind your ear. “You have got to meet J’s brother. His name is Kai!” You followed her to a boy standing alone by the drink table. He had floppy blonde hair that curled onto his forehead. He wore thick rimmed glasses and had honey brown colored eyes hiding behind them. He gave you a sweet smile. “Oh hi, you must be Y/N.” He had light freckles sprinkled across his cheeks. “Wanna sit and talk?” He pointed to the fire and you joined him. You two talked for a little while, he told you about his classes and a few other mundane get to know you things.

“Yeah it’s a pretty tough major, I have to study-” He stopped talking for a second.

“Are you alright?” You asked him, his face turning kind of green. “Yeah I just suddenly feel terrible.” He wiped some sweat off of his head. “And hot.” He stood up and stumbled towards the forest line. You started to stand up to go after him, when he whipped around with a smile. “I’m okay sweet heart. How’s your drink?” He asked, his voice suddenly lower. Your heart sunk in your stomach as he sauntered over to you, taking a place back on the log. He threw an arm around your neck and pressed your head against his shoulder. “This party is kind of lame...” He whispered so that only you could hear him. Not that anyone was paying much attention to you two. “Wanna get out of here babe?” He purred into your ear. You sat up and shoved him off of you. His glasses shifted off his nose from your push. His brown eyes swirled into another color, now a bright blue. You gasped and he held up a finger. “Wouldn’t wanna ruin the party now would you?” He said with a wink. “You need to get out of here!” You said through clamped lips, trying not to make a scene. “No way beautiful! I’m enjoying myself. Let me have a sip of that.” He snatched your drink and took a gulp. He spit it out immediately. “Is that water? What’s wrong with you!?” He dropped your plastic cup on the ground. “Let’s get you a real drink.” He reached out to take your hand and you threw your hands in the air. “What? No! Where’s Kai?” You wanted to pull your hair out. It was like talking to a brick wall. “Is he really your type? He seems like a fuckin’ dork.” He gave you a soft flick in the forehead. You slapped his hand and took a deep breath. “What do you want?”

A wide grin spread across Kai’s face, a look you didn’t think the boy’s body had ever made before. “That’s a good question.” His gaze trailed from your eyes down your body. You covered your chest by crossing your arms, feeling self conscious suddenly. “I was feeling a bit bored, so I was going to torch these drunk kids.” He looked over at your group of friends, Lily was spilling her drink, Iris and Ami were grinding on each other to impress the two boys standing nearby. “A big fire, a bunch of drunk idiots. It’d be written off as a terrible tragedy.” He clicked his tongue. “You know what? That does still sound kinda fun.”

You punched him in the arm. “Will you stop it!” You said a little too loud. A boy from your campus gave you a weird look from a few feet away, but didn’t interfere. “Did you just punch a demon?” He asked with a straight face. You brushed off his words, the anger boiling over. “You know I think I have you figured out.” You narrowed your eyes and jammed a finger on his chest. “You just like causing drama, don’t you!” You sighed, exasperated. “You’re just like my damn friends. Doing and saying whatever you want without regard for anyone’s feelings.” A few tears stung behind your eyes. “So can you politely fuck off?”

The man hiding behind Kai’s face was intrigued. “You know what...” His voice was raspy. “I like you Y/N.” You blinked and his scarred face appeared in place of Kai’s, his floppy hair hiding part of his forehead. He leaned in and cupped your face, planting a hungry kiss on your lips. Your eyes fluttered close, his lips were surprisingly soft as they smashed into yours. He pulled back and bit your bottom lip hard, drawing a bit of blood. You winced and tried to pull away. He pressed his mouth back onto yours for a moment longer, gripping your face to hold you just where he wanted you.

He pressed his mouth against your ear and whispered to you. “You don’t belong here.”

Your heart hammered in your chest. Why would he say that? You belong here, you thought. J and his friends didn’t invite you specifically but you knew that the girls always take you anyway.

Yeah that’s why they dumped you on the only other loser at the party...

A little voice in the back of your head said.

No I mean, Kai is nice. They probably thought you two would make a nice couple.

“Why would you say that?” You looked at his face, it was back to Kai’s. His eye color the only thing giving him away.

“Aw come on, look around you!” he motioned to the party goers.

Beautiful people, popular people. You could never be one of them... that familiar ping of rejection sat in your stomach.

“I- I know...” You started to say and he interrupted. “You’re so much better than them!” He said loudly. The party seemed so far away, the thumping music warping and sounding like distant violins. Smoke gathered low on the ground. Your dancing friends were moving in slow motion as shadows, you couldn’t tell them apart.

The man stood up, his body looking like his own now. You looked around for Kai, you saw nothing but warped silhouettes.

“You have a unique soul...” His voice echoed around you. “You don’t deserve to be stepped on, treated like you’re anything less than a goddess!” He was shouting, horns grew out of his head. They were spiraled and black, jutting out of his dark hair. “I’m not a goddess...” You looked down at your body, at your hands. You feel so plain, your friends tell you that about your style all the time. One of the shadows appeared in front of you. A shrill voice called out from its gaping mouth. “You can’t wear that out with us! You look dumpy!” It was a quote from Lily. Another shadow loomed over you. “Could you stop panicking? It’s killing the vibe!” It screeched something Iris said to you often. You dropped to your knee’s and covered your ears. “Are you really eating that? I just know that I could never.” Ami’s shadow said behind you, quietly. Her words always coming as a surprise attack, she would stick up for you but only to a point.

The demon took a step between you and the harsh memories. His arms glowing with his blue flames. He had large black wings that blew them away with one quick gust. “You’re not a goddess yet...” He tipped your chin gently, making your teary eyes look up at him. “But if you come with me, I’ll show you real power.” He said aloof, his face not showing too much emotion anymore. He had a cool, stoic glance as he studied your features. “Where would we go?”

He smiled. “Anywhere, everywhere.” He knelt down, crouching in front of you. He leaned in close to you, still holding your face. “I’ll take you to my kingdom, where you’ll sit on my lap on my throne.” His hand left your chin and slowly crept just below it, holding onto your throat with his thumb and pointer finger. “You’ll be my sexy little pet, hopelessly spoiled and relentlessly fucked, for eternity.”

He squeezed your throat gently, just barely applying pressure. The warmth of desire crawled through you slowly, heat building in your core. “Give yourself to me...” He growled in your ear. A small whine left your lips, riling the demon lord up further. He pressed himself on you, you lost your balance and fell onto your back.

The bonfire burned blue, it’s embers floated lazily above you two in the air. The shadows seemed even further away as the landscape around you changed. The tree’s grew even taller, the gnarled branches reaching impossibly high. The lush grass of the clearing was gone, your back rested on a warm stone.

He parted your legs and pressed his hips hard on you, you whimpered, his cock pressing against your inexperienced body. “Dabi...” He reveled in your sweet cries for him. “Yes, little red?” He felt a rush of primal energy. His voice was layered, an echoing deep sound that vibrated in your head. “I want to go with you...” A clawed finger touched your neck, you felt a searing pain as he burnt an ‘x’ on your unblemished skin. You screamed, but you didn’t push him away. The burn was a tattoo, a small black dragon that spit blue flames. It’s flames coiled around your neck, a thin line around you like a collar.

You heard distant screaming, was that Lily crying? He was removing your clothes, your breath heavy and hands shaking with excitement. You opened your eyes and looked to the side, you could see part of your old world through a blue wall of fire.

The party was up in flames.

Dabi bit down on the side of your breast, snapping your attention back to him. “Eye’s on me pet.” He looked you in the eye as he plunged himself inside of you. You cried out, he pulled himself out of your throbbing sex and tasted your virgin blood on his tongue. “What an obedient little minx.” He pulled your hips to him, dragging your bare body across the stone. He towered over you, enjoying how small and powerless you looked underneath him.

His hips were wild, he thrust into your dripping walls with incredible force. His size stretching your muscles to better fit him. You could do nothing but scream his name, begging him for another orgasm. He deliciously obliged, giving your body the shaking release it craved. He slowed just slightly, you felt his staff pulse inside of you seemingly out of nowhere, a slight twinge in his face giving away the only clue that he was finished with you for now. His hot seed spilled into you, he stopped his erratic movements and leaned down to your lips as he pulled out. Your body is covered in bite marks and bruises, his kiss coming as a soft surprise. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he smiled into your mouth. “I could get used to this...” You choked out through a lust filled throat.

Your mind never trailed away from him even for a moment, your old life behind you in a flash. You felt your head while laying beneath him, you’d grown two little curved horns.

[severeblizzardlady]

Music in My Ears

Soulmate AU - You hear your soulmate’s music. But what are you supposed to do if they happen to be in another universe entirely? 

Pairing: Jin Bubaigawara x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, Sexual themes (some non-con/dubious consent), Jin’s shenanigans (also, language barriers? Sometimes they’re a thing, sometimes they’re not), and a weeeeee bit of yandere

Disclaimer: I don’t own the music

“Baby shark, do-do-do-do-do-do. Baby shark--”

“[Name], I swear to God, you need to stop singing that fucking song.” Your cousin said, glaring at you from the corner of her eye. After visiting your cousin and her family for the week, it was time for you to fly back home. She’d offered to drive you to the airport, even though you were fine with getting a taxi. 

Obviously, she was starting to regret it.

“It’s not my fault that’s the only thing your kids wanna listen to!” You snapped. And it was true. The entire time you’d been there, those sweet, angelic children begged to hear that song at least once or twice a day. 

She muttered something then, something about “empty heads,” but Mom had taught you not to hit someone when they were driving. Louder, she said, “Just listen to the song all the way through. That should get it out.”

“Okay,” You reached for the stereo’s power button only to get your hand smacked. “Hey!”

“I’m not listening to it, use your player!”

Dammit. “Hmph, this better work,” You stuffed your earbuds into your ears, finding the song. “I don’t wanna get thrown off the plane mid-flight.” 

---

“No good, no good, no good.” Jin Bubaigawara, AKA the villain Twice, couldn’t breathe. The walls were constricting all around him, and not just from that yakuza Mimic. He’d been slow in making the wall that separated Twice from that Salaryman hero. It was on purpose, he’d wanted Jin to get caught.

No way, that couldn’t be right!

Gin grit his teeth. The pull was getting worse, the one deep inside, threatening to rip him into pieces--of course it wasn’t, he was fine. Just dandy even!

“Gonna split apart. Hooray! I’m...splitting!! I won’t!”

Hurting, it hurt so bad. No, actually, it felt just fine, like a warm bubble bath! Where was Toga? Why couldn’t he have just ignored those beaked bastards that day?

“Gonna split...if I don’t cover up!!” He, he was--

“Baby shark do-do-do-do-do-do. Baby shark do-do-do-do-do-do. Baby shark do-do-do-do-do-do. Baby shark!”

The splitting stopped. Something in Jin’s chest shifted, no it didn’t! It was deeper, in his soul. Like a piece that he hadn’t realized was missing had just snapped into place as music filled his ears. A song about sharks that just kept going in his ears. Even as Toga wrapped her handkerchief around his head to prevent him from splitting further (Unfortunately!~). 

Did this mean he had a soulmate? For all of his life, Jin had never had a soulmark. No red strings, no mysterious bruises (but the ones he made were plenty mysterious on their own!), no music...until now. The song sounded like it was for kids, a real banger! Was his soulmate a kid? They could just call him grandpa!

“If this cooperation thing doesn’t work out,” Toga said suddenly, dragging Jin out of his thoughts (She didn’t have to be jealous!). “We’ll never get our revenge.”

“It’s the end do-do-do-do-do-o. It’s the end!”

---

You didn’t get thrown off the plane. And you no longer had the Baby Shark song in your head. Both were a plus. 

Once you were home safe and sound, you had a little time to rest and relax before you were back to work again. Honestly, you hadn’t planned to spend your entire time off visiting family, but your parents blackmailed you. Really, you serenade a cat in public one time, and suddenly you’re marked for life. 

Whatever, you would do it again in a heartbeat. All cats deserve to know they’re loved!

You worked. And worked. And worked. And worked. And every day after work, you’d collapse on your couch with something quick to eat, like food from the freezer section at the store or takeout. Sometimes your neighbors, the couple in the next place over, would start yelling or start having sex. Both were loud and messed with your stomach--whether in anxiety or just...not wanting to hear them have sex because, holy shit, who had sex that often (where they leads in a smutty romance?). So you’d listen to music. 

You flinched at a dull thump that came from the wall on the other side of your apartment. You knew, from the one time they’d invited you over, that your neighbors had a bookshelf there. It sounded an awful lot like something had been slammed into it. 

“O-oh fuck!” The woman moaned.

“Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.” You nearly threw your takeout to the floor with how quickly you grabbed your ear buds. Trying to shove them into your ears as a repetitive thud started, you turned up the volume as high as you could before pressing play. Then, as Freaks by Timmy Trumpet started playing, you collected your food and hustled to the bedroom.

“I need to move.” 

---

“The bass and the tweeters make the speakers go to war. Ah, the mighty trumpet brings the freaks out to the floor.”

“You’re doing it again.” 

“Huh?” Jin whipped around to see Dabi fixing him with a blank stare. Wait, nu-uh, the blank stare was his usual look. That was Dabi’s annoyed look. 

When Jin just kept staring back, Dabi sighed. “You hearing your soulmate again? Every time you do, you start wriggling like you’re gonna pee yourself.”

“That’s because I wanna dance! Nah, you caught me, this music’s bad on my bladder!” 

Weeks had passed after the League had gotten their revenge on the bird bastard yakuza. With vengeance for Big Sis Magne taken care of, it was back to business. Well, when they felt like it anyway! They mostly lazed around a lot. 

With the yakuza’s serum in their hands, it should’ve been smoother sailing, but Jin wasn’t able to copy it. Shigaraki’s disappointment had been palpable that day (well, maybe he was just constipated!). The guilt of it weighed on Jin. Again, he’d let his friends down again. 

And yet, every time he felt down, every time he felt like a failure, he heard it. Music. His soulmate (stalker!).

The second time he heard the music was when he was in the middle of a League meeting. One second it had been quiet, nothing but Shigaraki discussing their next steps, and then: 

What a splendid pie, pizza-pizza pie. Every minute, every second, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy! 

 He was pretty sure kids didn’t listen to metal. But maybe their parents were just really edgy!! 

But the songs kept coming, none like the first. Some had a whimsical element to them, though, like the music had been doused in glitter and summoned from a unicorn’s ass. 

The music always came when Jin needed it. Always when he felt useless, like he couldn’t provide for his friends or protect their happiness. Maybe his soulmate could sense his distress and that caused the music. Nah, it was aliens.

“I still think we should find ‘em!” Toga cut in, chin resting on her hands. “Even if you don’t recognize the music, you. Being away from your soulmate for too long can’t be healthy!” 

“Yeah,” Spinner piped up, “but even so, how’re we supposed to find them? We can’t even find that music online.” 

Both were good points (eh, sorta). Soulmates had to unit at some point, particularly those with a hearing bond. Eventually, they’d begin hearing more than just each other’s music. They’d hear conversations and anything else their mate happened to hear. It drove people insane, the way the universe was desperate for destined lovers to be together. Or maybe it needed to be more aggressive, push a little harder! 

But....

“We’ll find them eventually,” Jin gave his friends a thumbs up. “For now, let’s focus on what’s ahead of us!” Of course a soulmate was nice, especially one that cared for him--so nosy!--the way his did. But his friends needed him. Unlike his soulmate, they were right there, and he could make sure they got everything they needed for their happiness. 

Toga watched him with curious eyes even when Shigaraki finally arrived for the meeting, but she didn’t say anything else. 

---

“You don’t look too good, [Name].” 

You smiled despite your upset stomach, trying to wave off your coworker’s concerned stare. “Had a little bit of food poisoning this morning.” Just the mention of food made your stomach want to wring itself out until you vomited again. 

It’d been a mistake, drinking as much as you had the night before, but you’d finally managed to snag a new place and had celebrated with a drink. Or three. Man, that had not been smart. 

“Hey, if you’re not feeling well, head on home, all right?” Your coworker said, stepping back a little. Like you were going to puke on her pumps. You would’ve bristled at that if your head didn’t hurt so much. A little bit of vomit would’ve been an improvement. Her shoes looked like they’d seen better days. “We’ve got that meeting this morning too.”

Yeah, that was the only reason you’d shown up. Your boss had reminded everyone about how important the meeting was. There was no way you could miss, especially not because you were hung over. 

As you ambled into the meeting room, there was a buzzing in your ear. You frowned, rubbing the back of your neck. Instead of dying down, especially once the meeting started, it got worse, to the point the buzzing sounded like, like music. A slow song, one full of longing and love. God, were you so messed up from just three drinks that you were suddenly hearing music? 

Which was what you thought. At first. But then it kept happening when you hadn’t had any alcohol. It was never at the same time of day, sometimes it happened when you were eating lunch or talking to someone. It was good, almost always rock after that first romantic-ish sounding song, but you had no idea why it was happening. 

You could still hear, but there was music. Music no one else could hear, and you’d asked plenty of your coworkers, nearly making an ass of yourself in the process. 

The only time it stopped was when you got home. The time you really needed it to and had to resort to your own music (until you could move out at least). 

You wondered if you were going crazy.

---

Jin was going crazy. And he didn’t want to say it was Shigaraki’s fault, because it honestly wasn’t! It really fucking was though. 

“We’re finding your soulmate,” Shigaraki said one day after they’d taken down a wannabe villain group that was trying to stake a claim on the League’s territory. The group had some valuables among them, some money and a nice stereo system.

Shigaraki had taken one look at it all and demanded it get carried back to the base. Mr. Compress, the swell guy, did all the heavy lifting, and he’d broken a sweat by the end of it! 

 “I thought we had more important things to do,” Dabi groused. He’d stepped out earlier, something about calling a potential recruit.

“We’re not doing anything without Jin,” Shigaraki stated, turning on the system. Music filled the air. “And if that means we have to take the time to find his soulmate, we’ll do it.”

If only Shigaraki wasn’t looking out for them all. If only Shigaraki didn’t believe in him. Because even with the music on his side, nothing had changed. Jin was letting everyone down because nothing seemed to be working. Not that first song, the one that was literally saying, “I’m here, darling, come find me. May this song be the only one that fills your ears so you know I’m thinking of you.” It was made for auditory soulmates by a singer with an auditory soulmate. 

It was because you were a child, wasn’t it? Because you didn’t understand, were too young, couldn’t tell your parents. You were avoiding him, wanted nothing to do with him, thought he was a waste of your time. 

The music could only do so much to fill the void your presence would fill. He couldn’t think about anything for too long without you somehow being involved. People watching turned into wondering what you were like. Fighting turned into imagining you being amazed by his abilities. Smoking out his window at night turned into dreams of you calling for him from his bed, saying you missed him. Needed him. 

But the searches still turned out nothing. The music did nothing. It was like you weren’t even real to begin with. 

Where were you?

---

“It doesn’t look like anything’s wrong. To be honest, your hearing seems to be even better than most at your age!”

That had been the oto--ear doctor’s diagnosis after he’d tested you. After a quick Google search, you’d been sure you had tinnitus, which would’ve made sense with how much music you played to drown out your surroundings, but apparently you were wrong.

You hadn’t told the doctor you were hearing full songs that you’d never heard before. But maybe you should’ve? Even as you’d gotten in your car after the appointment, you could hear it again, that slow, yearning song that you’d first heard. God, if only Google had a melody search bar!

The music had stopped as you pulled into the apartment parking lot. You sighed. “Just like clockwork, huh?” 

It was your last night at the apartment. Tomorrow, you were moving everything into a new place. One that  was closer to your work so you’d be able to walk more. Maybe get some fresh air. And maybe the change would make the weird music go away. 

Not wasting a second, you pulled out your headphones and stuck them in your ears. Who knew what would be waiting for you tonight? At least it would be the last time though! With that happy thought, you stepped out of your car....

and felt the world give way underneath your feet.

---

“I know that we’re just perfect strangers, and perfect strangers, that just won’t do, no.”

God, were you trying to kill him? 

Another day fighting nobodies and taking everything they had. Jin felt like his skin was too tight on his bones, like everything was too loud and too bright and not bright enough. Jin had gone back to the base early. It was a bad idea, too dangerous (how fun!) on his own. But he needed to play the song again. 

He’d been playing  music all the time to tell you he was there listening, waiting, needing. Except you weren’t coming (Sure you were!), always just teasing him with your stupid music--nope, you were definitely calling to him right back!

“Why not make today the day that a perfect stranger falls for you, oh!”

You didn’t want anything to do with him, that was why you were hiding! The fabric of his costume crinkled as Jin clenched his fists, body shaking with rage. You were just mocking him, tormenting him, he wasn’t worth your time at all!

“Then I don’t need you either!” He roared, lunging at the sound system--

There was a rumble. The building shook, throwing Jin off balance. He yelped, tumbling and shielded his head at the last second. The shaking stopped as soon as it started.

“What the hell?”

Yeah--wait. He didn’t say that. Slowly lowering his arms, Jin found himself staring at a complete stranger in the middle of the League’s base. 

---

You were sitting in some sort of warehouse. You blinked. Then you blinked again, just to see if that would help. It didn’t. “What the hell?”

Your ear buds were still in, “Herp de Derp” still playing in your ears. And you would’ve taken them out right away if it weren’t for the costumed guy on the floor staring at you. 

Was he some sort of cosplayer? The costume, black with silverish gray lines on the body suit and red wrist...things and a mask that was half gray and half black, looked sort of familiar. Like you’d seen it on Adult Swim at some point while channel surfing late at night. 

You hoped that all the muscle accentuated by the suit was padding. Wait, no, you needed to leave. 

“S-Sorry, I...where am I exactly?” He said something then, but you couldn’t quite hear because, duh, your music was still on. “Um, sorry,” you tapped your ears and tried to smile (it was all getting creepier by the second), “just lemme....” 

Tapping a finger on the screen, you paused the music, pulling out your ear buds.

The guy jolted to his feet then, making you flinch (you were starting to think the muscles were his, if the way they flexed was any indication). You had no idea what kind of expression he had under that mask but the eye holes were wider than they’d been before. Like he was bugging out. “You.”

“Y-yeah?” He had a really nice voice. It was a shame things were getting more surreal and even creepier by the second. You were still on the ground, your legs felt numb.

He was on you before you even realized it, solid, warm body pushing into you, making you feel that, no, there was no padding. The shock of it startled you, making your nerves zing in a way they never had before, like something about this was right, even as your stomach flopped at the fact that you were in a strange place with a strange man who was touching you. 

His body slotted against yours perfectly, making you feel every inch of him. Your mouth was dry, no words could come out, only a slight squeak. “You’re not a kid, I was worried. I was looking forward to being called ‘grandpa’!” His hands trembled as they went to your face, tracing your lips, cupping your cheeks. “I knew the universe would make sure we came together. Except this was all me!” 

You had no idea how to respond, not to his babbling or his contradictory way of speaking. You didn’t get a chance to either. His mouth was on yours, lower half of his mask pushed up out of the way. There was a vague feeling of stubble, but all you could focus on was the tongue in your mouth, inviting yours to meet it. 

All you could focus on was the thick hands sliding down to your ass to drag you forward until you were sitting in this man’s lap. 

All you could focus on was the heat of it all. Of how good it felt. Of wanting more. Of wanting to go home, wherever that was. 

He moaned when you clutched at his back, mouth leaving yours to plant kisses down your neck. “My soulmate, all mine. Finally.” He panted the words between each kiss, as though being away from your skin for even a second was too long.

Soulmate?

You shivered when he began to shift, hands moving to your hips. When he finally spoke again, his voice was raspy, thick with desire and something too dark to be considered love:

“I’ll never let you go.”

[notyetneedcoffee]

Soul Seer

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: None this Chapter, but later

Author’s Note: Takes place right after Avengers 1, with time travel elements and hints of Infinity Wars. Does NOT follow cannon after Avengers. 

* * *

You stared at the locked door. The deep sinking feeling that you somehow royally screwed up made your stomach flop over. Sure, it was a nice conference room with interesting prints, comfortable leather chairs and carafes of coffee and water sitting full. You turned back to the tall dark wood door, a nice room with a nice locked door.  

Staring at the lock, wondering why you’d been brought here only felt mildly less disturbing than taking in the view. From this high in Stark Tower, you could see the massive devastation from the attack. Debris from buildings and alien ships created a horrific landscape. No one knew how many bodies there were under all that concrete. No one knew how many were human and how many weren’t.

It all seemed too much. Aliens. The sky opened up and aliens poured through a portal earlier in the day. The sun’s rays were just beginning to wane, but the day already lasted a lifetime. You’d been working, thankfully, in a laboratory in the middle of the 23rd floor. Apparently, your office was completely open to sky now. One of the techs said the Hulk smashed straight through and squashed a contingent of alien intruders with your desk.  

You glanced at the coffee, desperately wishing it was something stronger. You may not be much of a drinker, but a stiff whiskey would be good about now.

Instead, you stood and stretched to let go of some of the tension.  

The lock clicked and you spun to the door. Tony Stark walked in. Only he didn’t look the same. It wasn’t the tiredness around his eyes or the difference in his hair. It was his aura. The normal brilliant sapphire and energetic shots of indigo looked fractured by spidery veins of painful crimson and foggy white.  

He calls it your gift, you think it’s a curse sometimes. You could see auras, emotions, truth. You just saw more.  

“Y/N, if I need you to do something,” Tony spoke with his jaw so tight, you barely saw it move. “something difficult, something terrible, but something that may prevent events even worse than today from happening in the future, will you do it? I can’t explain anything more, and you can’t tell anyone. Ever.”  

You’d never seen such resolve from him. The weight of his request sat on your chest. It tasted like bitter coffee and tears. But underneath, buried deep, a flicker of hope pushed forth like winter crocus battling the snow to feast upon the sun. The generally driven, intelligent, yet jovial man you knew who craved instant gratification was gone. This was a different version, but Tony nonetheless, and he was asking for help.  

“You know I would. I don’t know what’s happened, but ...” You stopped, not know the words to convey the depth of the sorrow you perceived. Hot tears spilled from your eyes. Tony stepped forward, wrapping his arms around you. He held on tight for a moment. You clung to him, whispering “I’m sorry.”

He jumped back, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes. “Come on, Miss Y/LN, time for you to get to work.”

Stark led you to a section of the tower you’d never seen. You didn’t have clearance. Although Stark, and even S.H.I.E.L.D., put your talents to good use, your exposure remained limited. This was Tony’s R&D floor. Glancing sideways at him, he made an over exaggerated shushing motion and you nearly giggled.  

At the end of the hall a wall of heavily armed men watched a door that looked more like the entrance to a high-tech bank vault. Likely it wasn’t too far from the truth. The men in uniform radiated aggression and fear, beating against you worse than heavy bass booming from broken speakers. Your steps moved a little closer to Stark.  

“Hey there, Red Dawn, I’m taking my specialist in to see the out of town guest. Make sure room service doesn’t bust in, won’t you?” Tony wrapped the armed man nearest the door with the back of his knuckles.  

“He’s in lock down.” The soldier shook his head.  

“Listen,” Stark’s voice went hard. “I’ve had a really shitty day, so I don’t want to argue with you. This is my tower, you’re still on my payroll, and until Fury decides to roll up and butt his nose in, it’s still my show.” He activated the biometric lock and motioned for you to enter.  

Inside a small observation room looked into another, empty except for a tall black-haired figure in green and black leather. He turned, staring at you with flaming green eyes. Your feet froze to the spot and your mouth went dry. In your sight, he shone like the terrifying fire of the sun.  

“Do not worry.” A deep voice rumbled from the corner. “His shackles bind his magic.”

“I saw him on the news. He’s the one.” Your eyes still did not leave the captivating gaze of the prisoner.  

“Loki.” Stark sighed.  

Your head snapped around. You expected rage, fear, wrath. Instead a mournful, tired resolve poured off of him. “I don’t understand. He just attacked us.”

“My brother is not himself.” An enormous man stepped out from the corner. You’d only seen pictures, but recognized him as Thor. However, he too looked different than the news clips from earlier today. You had to avert your eyes. He radiated a crackling white light. It was like an arch welder. He must have misunderstood. “Please, I do not mean to offend. Do not doubt. He will answer for his crimes.”

“It’s not that.” You got a better hold on yourself and turned back to him. Thor’s presences reminded you of high mountain running water. Fresh and vital. “I wasn’t expecting you and it was a little blinding.”

“The mystical vision thing.” Tony waggled his fingers in the air.

“You can really see the true nature of someone? See the truth behind the lies?” Thor asked, leaning forward and taking your forearm in his giant hand. His touch felt hot.

“Yes.”  

“What do you see when you look at me?”  

“We don’t have time for this.” Tony growled.

“You shine brighter than anyone I’ve ever met except for him,” You jerked your head towards the cell. “And the Ancient One who taught me to live with my sight.”

“Wait.” Tony cut in. “Ancient One?”

“When my brain tumor became terminal, I found her. She taught me to open up my sight, and by opening my sight somehow the tumor began to recede. It’s like I have to use that part of me, or it turns caustic.” You sighed, and gave Tony a small smile. “It sounds insane, but I always thought she was immortal or something. At least something more than human.”

“What of my brother?”

You looked, really looked, at Loki for the first time. Bright bluish silver bled to emerald in sharp spiky energy. It was not like Thor’s energy at all. It prickled like frozen fingers. Something else writhed around him, pulling at the more beautiful greens. It flowed from his head, deep violet and nearly opaque. Still, he stared at you with an unwavering glare.  

“What more is he?” You asked, not looking away.  

“Loki is a Prince of Asgard.” Thor began but you cut him off.

“Not that. I don’t know enough about Asgard to say for sure, but all people – all humans – have a similarity to them. He’s very different from you.” It just presented as a feeling. “He’s hiding his true face.”

“Uh, ‘cause he’s a liar.” Tony rolled his eyes.

“You can see that?” Thor breathed. “Can you see through his glamour?”

“Huh?”  Tony spun to look at Loki.

“I’m not sure.” Allowing yourself to open up a little further and trying to ignore the sensations assaulting your perception from the men beside you, the sight of Loki began to shift. A bit like a double exposed photograph, there were two in the same space. The handsome, dark and dangerous man with pale skin and radiant green eyes hovered just above the exotic being with patterned blue skin and red eyes. On his angular features, it was the most alluring thing you’d seen.  

“Blue.” You breathed. “Gorgeous.”  

“By the Norns.” Thor smiled. “This might work.”

“Speaking of which,” Tony took your hand. “You’ve got to get busy. I’m gonna let you in on the secret.”

You listened, having trouble believing even though you knew he was telling the truth. Today marked a crossroads. One direction led to half of everyone, everywhere, disappearing into nothingness. The other was unknown, but was the one path that may avoid that fate. Tony didn’t tell you details, but long ago you learned to suppress the curiosity when answers would likely gain you nothing and cause other people pain.

“You’re not the same Tony who brought me coffee yesterday, are you?”

“That was a long time ago, kid.”

“Okay.” You took a deep breath. Tried to sort it all out in your head. The last twenty-four hours changed everything. Nothing would ever be the same again. “What do you need me to do?”

“Something is influencing my brother’s mind. We need him to see clear enough to tell the Avengers what is really happening so that we may have hope to battle the true enemy.”

“Avengers?”

Tony rolled his eyes, “Us. You know, the mighty heros.”

“Alright.” You moved towards the door, but stopped when Tony grabbed your arm. “I have to go in there.”

“Then we will stay, as long as we can.” Thor nodded.  

Your hands felt numb as you reached for the door. The ridiculous thought that you were thankful you’d worn jeans instead of a summer dress skipped across your mind. You felt stronger in jeans and boots. You entered the room, immediately noticing the window was one way. Loki had been staring directly at you through a mirror.

His chin rose, but his eyes trailed down your body and back up again. The corner of his mouth curved up. “Nice of them to send me such a lovely mortal to entertain me while I wait.”

“My name is Y/N.”

“I don’t care.”

Moving closer to him, cautiously, “I shouldn’t be here.” You felt his interest pique. “But I wasn’t going to let them stop me.”

He lowered himself onto the bench with slow control.  

You took a step closer. “I am fascinated by what I see when I look at you.”  

“What would that be, little mortal? An opportunity? Do you wish to serve your King?” He purred, deep and seductive.  

“I see your brilliance, a life force like I’ve never witnessed.” A wicked grin spread across his face at your words. You now stood just of reach of his bound hands. “But there’s something unnatural clinging to you mind, dimming the shining aura you project. What can I do to rid you of this darkness?”  

“Darkness!” Loki hissed viciously, leaning forward. “You know not of darkness, foolish girl.”

“It clings to your mind, flaring like an angry beast as we’ve spoken. While you stared at me through the mirror it was calmer.” You told him. “I can see it. It not you, not from you.”

“You know nothing!” He spat.

“Am I lying?” You made a calculated guess. “You’re the God of Lies. Am I?”

He stood with blinding speed. You couldn’t help the flinch, but didn’t back away. Loki leaned close, tilting his head, examining. The movements were feral, predatory. He smelled of something like cedar and leather. Up close you realized he looked equally beautiful and deadly.

“How?” Loki hissed, and you felt his breath on you cheek.

“I see energies, auras.” You whispered. “I’m an empath, and somehow at times I understand even more.”

Suddenly Loki’s mind smashed into yours. Like rough fingers digging into nerve sensitive flesh, it flashed with pain and you instinctively retreated. You heard his mental laugh. The severity of the situation wouldn’t allow you to back down, though. Knowing you could not fight, you surrendered. Breathing in the pain, you relaxed and opened up on the exhale.

He paused, thrown off guard.  

Your eyes locked for a moment, before you closed your eyes and tipped your face closer to his. Again you whispered. “Am I lying?”  

Loki’s intrusion felt less brutal, more cautious. He dug through your triumphs, your pain, your loves and your shame. The world as you knew it ended today. There was no point hiding. Your life was small, insignificant, in comparison to everything that happened. Everything that could happen. If Loki needed to see your mind to be convinced, then you would lay yourself bare.  

You were lightheaded when he withdrew. Feeling cool fingers on yours, you opened your eyes. Loki’s face no longer held the fury from a moment ago. It’s been replaced with curiosity. “You are a very rare Midgardian. I thought all of your kind died out a thousand years ago.”

“Will you let me help you?” You clasped his fingers. His nostrils flared, the darkness failed around his aura, rabid and angry. “The fury you feel right now, that just happened, it’s not yours. Something happened to you. I just want to help.”  

“I am here to subjugate your people.” A tendril of something close to shame broke the fierceness of his voice. “How many died by my hand today?”

“Don’t know. At this moment, I don’t care.” You gave him a sideways grin. “Come on, I’ve shown you mine. Show me yours.”

Loki tried to scowl, but a small genuine grin split his visage. “You’ve seen pain, Y/N. However, such agonies exist in my mind that your mortal body would never survive.”

“Please, Loki.”

“I don’t know what you think you will be able to do.” He trailed off.

“If we fight it together, I can help you identify what action it – whatever it is – takes. Let me help.”

“There are things I know.” He worked his jaw. “Secrets I have.”

“I’m not here to take your secrets. Any that come to me I will keep.” You knew Stark was probably loosing his mind over that statement, but you meant it.

“I do not have the control for what you suggest while these things are on.” Loki turned and looked at the mirror for the first time. “I could tear her mind apart without proper control. My mind is full of very strong defenses.”

The door behind you opened and Loki scowled hard. Thor walked in.  

“New look.” Loki scoffed. “Doesn’t suit you.”

“If I remove your bindings, what assurance do I have that you won’t kill her and escape?” Thor frowned.  

“Your army of toy soldiers in the hall are not enough?” Loki baited Stark.

“Loki.” You placed a restraining hand upon his arm.  

He turned back to his brother. Many unsaid words stretched between them. Somehow, though, you knew they communicated their intentions nonetheless. Eventually, Loki’s eyes softened. “I swear on Mother’s life that I will do everything in my power not to hurt her.”

“And?” Tony rolled his eyes.

“I will not try to escape during this exercise.” Loki smiled devilishly.  

“Yeah, well-“ Stark began, but stopped when Thor reached for Loki’s wrists. “Whoa, wait.”

“Loki would never swear against our mother. Never.”

As the bindings came off, Loki rubbed his wrists. “Now get out.”

“Listen, Reindeer Games…”

“Out!”

Thor pulled an anxious Stark from the room. Loki extended his hand in invitation. You accepted and allowed him to lead you back to the bench. Straddling the seat, facing one another, he pulled you close so your knees touched.  

“You’re sure about this, little one?”

Every logical thought in your brain knew this was a bad idea, but your instincts knew it was imperative. “Yes.”

Loki’s long elegant fingers cupped your face, intimately as if he were about to kiss you. His skin felt cool against your flushed flesh. His eyes, now relaxed, danced with swinging emotions. You could almost see the battle raging within him.

“You may encounter a mental barrier before I consciously lower it. We may have to start again if that happens. I will do everything I can to resist the urge to lash out. Do not push if I’m fighting.” Loki instructed.

“Go slow. Stay low. Don’t be a threat. Got it.” Your lip twitched.  

“Alright.” Loki sighed. “I’ll show you.”

Time lost all meaning as images, emotions, memories and primal urges blew about your mind like debris in a maelstrom. You quickly recognized that your mind saw the true Loki with sharp edges, while the other manifested in your minds-eye like dark gooey slime. The slime tried to latch onto you as you tore it free, but it was slippery and you flung it away. It vanished.  

With determination, you mentally tore at the slime, wrenching it free of the pieces of Loki you contacted. Each touch making you feel fearful, disgusted, as it preyed on your own darkest instincts. Loki’s emotions and memories grew stronger as you pushed deeper into the storm. Images of worlds you’d never imagined, languages you didn’t recognize, people you’d never seen, you somehow knew through the connection.  

Exhilaration and mischievous glee melded with acute curiosity and joy.  

You pluck at one cluster of memory and Loki’s entire being roared. It vibrated painfully through you. The slime pulled, but you did not move, did not let go. The pain and anguish slashed out. You took it. You cried. The pain remained, but the screaming stopped. You mentally pulled the piece to your chest, wiping away the dark gunk bit by tiny bit. Each clean patch shown fresh and raw.  

Loki’s voice howled through your mind. You wept and offered what soothing you could.

Horrid images flashed. Torturous burnings, painful cutting spikes, an alien purple face.  

Piece by piece you continued. The agony retreated. Other memories came into focus, not all of them bad. Eventually, you could only pluck at the smallest remnants of the darkness that once covered everything. You felt Loki pull back, gently.

As you came back to yourself, you realized you felt Loki’s cool breath upon your neck. You held each other tight, your hands in his hair and his clutching at your back. Your legs wrapped around his waist. Tears, still flowing, poured from your eyes. Loki sighed almost imperceptibly.

You opened your eyes.

Standing there, staring dumbly, were most of the Avengers...including the Tony you knew from your time. The others were gone.

Moments later you were marched into a large, locked down interview room with a proper table and more chairs than it could accommodate.  

“These really aren’t necessary, brother.” Loki held his hands out as Thor connected the bindings. “I promise I will sit through your interview as long as (Y/N) remains here.”

You sat in the chair beside him and fought the urge to put your head on his shoulder and nap. Bone deep exhaustion overtook you as soon as you’d pulled free of the connection. “Can we please get on with it?”

“Sure. Fine. I’ll start with the questions.” Tony threw his hands in the air. “What. The. Fuck.”

“I was sitting, seething away in my little cell, when your Soul Seer here wondered in. She said she sensed a malicious presence.” Loki grinned wickedly. “It wasn’t even me.”

“Huh?”

“What?”  

“Explain.” Thor leaned closer.

“Hold on.” Natasha put a hand up. “Soul Seer?”

“I see auras, emotions, and other. . .  things.” You sighed.

“Her mystical vision that Fury wants his grubby hands on.” Stark muttered.  

“There was something tainting him.” You looked at Loki. “It was malignant, feeding off of every negative emotion, every bit of pain. Even when I touched it, I felt the urge to lash out. I’m not certain what it was, but it was strong and self-contained. It reminded me of a parasite.”  

“Loki?” Thor dared to have the smallest glimmer of hope in his eyes.  

“She’s right. I knew it was there, but - because of it - I didn’t care.” He paused for a long moment. “Thinking clearly now, I know the difference. There’s much we need to discuss.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that you set loose an alien army on the city.” Steve Rogers frowned heavily.  

“If Loki was under the control of an unknown entity, then-” Thor began.

“That’s according to just her.” Natasha cut in.  

At the same time Tony cut off Thor, “We don’t even know what it is.”

The door opened and another man walked in. You gaped and pointed. “It was like that, just a hundred times worse.”

They all turned to Clint Barton, then slowly turned back to you.

“He has the same ‘stuff’ clinging to him. Only it’s more of a light gray not black, and there’s only traces. On Loki, it was black and invasive. It was-”

“The mind stone.”

“Very good, Banner.” Loki drawled. “I’m amazed you put it together.”

“You were the one turning everyone into meat puppets, Reindeer Games. Let’s not forget that.” Tony growled.

“Who turned the stone on you first?” Thor grabbed his brother’s arm.

Loki’s jaw clenched. He stared hard at the table, silent.  

“Loki!” Thor growled.  

You placed your hand on his clenched fingers. Slowly they released, instead taking your small hand in both of his. “Thanos.”

[gadgetuniverse]

The all-new Redmi Earphones! But, are they worth it? Let’s find out!

1. Introduction

Recently, Xiaomi launched their Redmi earphones for the affordable price of 399 in India. These earphones are available in three exciting color choices, Black, Blue and Red. So, today let’s take a look at the black color variant of these Redmi Earphones and decide if they are worth the price. So, let’s get started with our review.

2. Unboxing

The box is a familiar Xiaomi box but instead of the typical Xiaomi’s white and orange color on the box, we get a red and white combination, which to my perspective looks much more better and gives an aggressive look to the product. There is a Hi-Res branding on the box and it say’s Redmi Earphones on the left, right as well as on the front side of the box. There are the specifications listed on the rear side of the box. The Xiaomi logo comes on the front of the box. There is also a scratch and check sticker on the bottom of the box to verify the authenticity of the earphones.

Inside the box, we get the earphones, and three pairs of soft silicone, anti-wax ( as they claim it to be ) ear tips of sizes, Small, Medium and Large. The medium ear tips come preinstalled on the earphones, but I have replaced them with the small ones.

3. Build Quality and Fit

Now, coming to the build quality of the earphones. The earphones are made with aluminum alloy and are super light-weight.

The wires are not braided, but decent, considering the price of the earphones. They are connected through a Y-shaped connector/junction in the middle of the wire, which is stable, as I accidently pulled the earphones too roughly but due to the Y-shaped connector midway, the wires are intact.

The fit is pretty nice but I should tell you that my ear canal is pretty small, so they fit nicely, but even with the smallest ear tip on, I faced a bit of problem with the fit. So, I mostly prefer headphones over earphones. But, anyways, if your ear canal is medium to large, these will perfectly fit you. I am just an exception.

The 3.5mm male AUX cable is tilted at an angle of 90 degrees, so that the wire is safe to use and also durable. That’s a very nice thing in a budget earphone.

One thing to note here is that, the earphones are not tilted, they are straight. It’s not a big deal for me, but if you want tilted earphones, then this could be a deal-breaker for you.

4. Ease of Use

The anti-wax ear tips do work. I mean, they don’t completely resist them but they don’t stick to them either.

The wire length is 1.25m which is enough for wired users, unless you are a sound engineer or artist.

There is decent noise isolation if they fit you perfectly. I mean, not like Sony WH-1000XM3s but good passive isolation.

The earphones are not magnetic. The magnetic earphones like those of Realme are not useful for wired earphones, but it would have been good if Xiaomi had managed to give make these earphones magnetic. But still, no big deal.

The earphones are very light-weight with the weight of 13 grams. But the wires are prone to tangling.

5. Sound Quality

Now, the most important part for any audio device, the sound quality. These earphones provide a very nice audio experience. The Hi-Res audio branding is not just for marketing purpose.

Trust me, I own a Hi-Res wireless headphone from Soundcore by Anker ( Not Sponsored ). They are priced at rupees 3000.( Around $40 )

These Redmi Earphones offer a very comparable sound to those headphones at such an affordable price.

The treble is really good, the mid and high frequencies are all there but the bass, like, it will not vibrate your head, but, if you hear them at a place with very less noise, you will feel them. As they don’t cover your ears or head, it will not produce vibrating bass. But, but, the bass is really awesome for budget earphones.

The loudness of the earphones is also very good. You will probably need to hear it with 25-50% volume depending upon your device.

Now, one major thing to note here is that, the audio quality of earphones doesn’t just depend upon your headphones/earphones or speakers but also upon the device you are using, example smartphones.

So, I have been using these earphones with Xiaomi’s Redmi Note 4 and Note 9 Pro. These devices have high-quality DACs built into them.

So, if you plan on buying these earphones, don’t forget to check your device’s sound output and quality.

Because, later on, if you don’t like them, don’t blame me.

Anyways, I also compared these earphones with the ever popular Ant Audio W56 but these Redmi earphones are better than those in all ways, be it, sound quality, built quality, weight, and even price. But the Ant Audio W56 has flat cables, so it wins in this category of wire quality.

6. Microphone Quality

The microphone on these earphones as Xiaomi claims them to be is of HD quality. You can listen to them and decide if you want them.

Sound test starting in 3, 2, 1:

The audio you are hearing now is coming from the Redmi earphones. The microphone test will end in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and

7. Verdict

Now, my verdict on these earphones is that if you are on the lookout for best wired earphones under rupees 500 or even 400, these are the best in each and every segment.

These earphones are stylish, light-weight and even durable.

I would recommend these to all who want to listen to high-quality music, even to those who want these to view content, such as movies, videos and even for schooling purposes.

They are built well and trust me, if you buy them, you will not regret.

So, if you watched and listened carefully till the end, I thank you.

And if I could make you clear whether you should spend your hard-earned money on these earphones, then please consider subscribing to my channel.

Also, you are free to like and share this video, and also you can comment down below if you have any queries.

Thank You for reading and understanding!

I hope I will see you in my next post.

Till then, Take Care.

[okietrish]

Second Sun: pt. 1~ Greta Van Fleet

Hey guys! This is my first time writing anything like this. I’m a massive fan of Greta and have been pissed to find that there is no fan fiction anywhere!!!! So I took matters into my own hands. Feed back would be wonderful. I’ll take requests, all that Jazz, whatever y’all want I’m willing to give it a shot. Alright. Y’all enjoy this first part.

PLEASE GIVE FEEDBACK

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your mind isn’t a place that comes without chaos. It’s cloudy at times and riddled with worrisome thoughts and essentric dreams that spiral you into realizing that you’re not conventional in the least. This isn’t a new realization by any means, its obvious to you that your brain doesn’t function habitually. When you were younger you didn’t find yourself speaking your mind all that much due to anxiety, but you craved being heard, being noticed, being a person... that’s where writing came into play. It started off with poems, ridiculous journals that are so ‘edgy’ from when you were 12. It actually was “just a faze,” thank god, which made your mother happy...

Gradually through time and experience and aggressively going through far too many notebooks, your writing got far better, more natural for you, which lead to the true love of your life, music.

Music is constantly playing through your head, evident right now as you’re standing in line at Spill’n The Beans, hands down the best coffee shop due to the name alone. The people surrounding you look on curiously, unbeknownst to you, as you perform a detailed toe tapping/air drumming combo to the beat of You Shook Me by Zeppelin. The coffee shop wasn’t crowded this morning. Quiet, secluded, enough space around you to allow all of the thoughts and ideas to flow easily without the stress of other people to suffocate your mind. When you approach the front of the line you take your head phones out and get greeted by the warm, nostalgic smile of your best friend.

“Y/N, I’ve never been so happy to see your sexy self”

“My god Syd I saw you at home 40 minutes ago, miss me already?” You laughed at her look of betrayal knowing you’re in for a dramatic performance.

“Y/N Y/L/N I barely see you anymore and we live together. It’s all music now a days!” Her arms are on her hips now, mothering you like always. She complains of it, but you know deep down she loves to look after you.

You looked behind you making sure no one was in line waiting as she continued in a voice that was suppose to mock your own.

“‘Sorry love I have to practice bass.’ ’sorry Syd I have this tune stuck in my head and I need to go write’ ‘sorry Syd I’m just too fucking rock and roll to hang out with you and binge watch Harry Styles compilations anymore!’”

You looked at her for a moment, a smirk rising to your lips as your snorted a bit at your chaotic friend.

“Are you done?” You asked laughing.

“Yes, but I do miss you.” She said as she began making the same ice coffee combo you get every morning on your way to work, black cold brew with one pump of vanilla. A bitter sweet combo to kickstart your mind.

“I miss you too.” You spoke over the coffee machine. You did feel bad about not spending as much time with her as you wanted to.

“I get off tonight at 6, wanna have a movie night?” You offered.

Syd poked her head above the machine, her eyes crinkled, evident that she was grinning ear to ear.

“Nah I’m good.” She said smugly and ducked back down. If you rolled your eyes any harder they would be stuck.

“Got fuck your self, pick up snacks on your way home, I’ll grab McDonald’s. Lets have a date.” She handed you your coffee with a smile.

“Sounds like a plan. See you later sis.” She flipped you off as you walked out. It was a routine, a sign of love and endeaarance put into place god only knows how long ago.

Your drive to work was nothing abnormal. Songs shuffled and inspiration flew through your veins. Today you felt good. Hopefully it stayed like that, you thought.

You pulled up to Jackknife Records at 8:20am, 10 minutes early for your shift, per usual. Grabbing all of your belongings out of your car you made your way inside, immediately being greeted by your boss and owner of the store Rob.

“Morning Y/N!” His lanky arm waved happily towards you.

“Rob, my man, any cool drop offs last night?” You say making your way behind the counter to set down your stuff.

“There’s an old beat up Beatles White Album back there. She looks like she was used and loved, it’s still in great condition. It’s on my desk waiting for you.”

You always had this routine with Rob. If anyone dropped off some cool vinyls, or any odd ball things he thought you would enjoy he saved them for you in his office. You never asked him to, he just noticed you always bought records from the store so he quickly developed an idea for your taste. Which wasn’t really anything specific, if it had a good vibe you loved it. Good music is good music no genre or decade could put a box around it.

“You’re the best!”

You began your usual routine as Rob opened up the store. Stacking records, scanning and placing tags, the mundane things that brought the record store to life.

It was a slow day, seeing as it was Saturday morning and everyone was likely hungover from the night before. Days like this are your favorite, though you do enjoy busy days where you get to help people figure out their taste and what they want, or need, in their life musically, but days like this meant that you could listen to music and write.

Rob knew you got your work done through and through, so he was never bothered by you writing on the job or playing music for everyone to hear, occasionally even bringing your bass to work and playing in the corner. He knew you were a good worker and if anyone came in you’d take care of them. This place was like your home, had been for 2 years now since Rob offered you a job. He is an old family friend, went to high school with your dad way back in the day. So when you moved out to LA for school you dad made a phone call to Rob and he took you under his wing.

You helped out a few customers here and there, tidied up some more, but mostly all you did was listen to different music and sing along.

It was around noon now, so you began stocking some cd’s while Rob was behind the counter. Occasionally Rob would throw in a request here and there and take the store’s music into his own hands, which is why Whose Loving You by The Jackson 5 began playing over the speakers.

“Rob what the hell?” You laughed at him. You knew he put this on knowing it’s your go-to karaoke song. He does it at least once a week.

“Oh hush, no one is in here. Sing your heart out kiddo.” He joking dismissed you with his hand. You laughed at his ‘dad’ antics.

You continued stocking cd’s when your voice came in perfectly, the first run was second nature at this point.

“When I had you” you were being dramatic now, hand movements, extra ear plugging motions pretending like you were Christina Aguilera to be funny. Rob was laughing to himself as he walked into the back room. You continued, not even realizing he left.

“I treated you bad

And wrong, my dear

And girl since

Since you went away”

You were back to stocking CD’s when the hook came around, singing effortlessly, but eloquently.

“Don't you know I

Sit around

With my head hangin' down

And I wonder

Who's lovin' you”

You sang through the song, not even thinking about the notes at this point. This song was constantly on loop in your brain since your dad showed it too you some 15 years ago. You were within yourself in those moments. Oblivious to all around you other than your voice, the song, and the robotic motions of CD’s organization. The bell ringing on the front door didn’t register to you as you went about singing. It wasn’t until the song ended and another one came on that you didn’t recognize that you looked up and noticed four guys, around your age, looking at you curiously. They were still standing by the front door, seemingly frozen in their place as they looked on completely infatuated with the sight in front of them. You. The tall one with long brown hair down to his collar bones with a jean shirt on began clapping for you, thoroughly impressed. You became flustered immediately going into apologetic mode, per usual.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry! I didn’t even hear you come in.” You paused looking at them expectantly for you don’t know what, but they just continued looking at you, smiling.

You began again,

“Sorry umm... feel free to look around. Sorry for singing so loud... let me know if you have any questions.”

You walked back to behind the counter to switch the music again. You hooked up your phone and just pressed shuffle, trying to find something catchy, but mostly something to smooth out your nerves at the moment.

You felt a presence in front of you, looking up you discovered it was the guy who clapped before, his friends scattered about the store.

“Hey! Your voice is sick. Sorry we interrupted your personal concert.” His fingers were tapping on the counter as he looked at you. It seemed more like a habit to him, not necessarily a motion of impatience or anything like that. He was kind, immediately you picked up on that, his smile was endearing.

“Oh thanks! And don’t worry about it, I was just bored.” You smiled back. This seemed to guide him into the conversation.

“Cool store by the way. You seem to have a pretty legit collection. My brother’s, my friend and I were just walking past and just had to come in. The music guided us, ya know?”

You laughed a bit at his relaxed nature, seemingly mirroring your own. You haven’t met many people like that.

“I feel that, music can guide you anywhere. Most of the time it’s where you need to go most.” You said as matter of fact.

He put his hand up for a high five, which you granted, “Hell yeah. I’m Sam by the way.”

He stuck his hand out towards you again, this time for you to shake.

“Nice to meet you Sam, I’m Y/N.” You chuckled as you shook his hand. He turned towards the other guys and released your hand.

“Hey, losers, come here really quick.”

He turned back to you and smiled before turned to the guys again. He stepped to the side so they could see you.

“This right here is Y/N she is dope, so far, and has a sick voice and clearly good music taste because look at that Bo Diddley shirt. I need that shit. I mean... Come on! We’re best friends now.” He smiled at you with a cheesy look.

They boys and you laughed at Sam’s antics, it was obvious that they were beyond use to the ridiculousness of Sam’s personality by now.

You quickly said, “Hey!” to all of them and they introduced themselves to you.

The tall one, about Sam’s height, walked up to you first. He was wearing a t-shirt with a very delicate floral design on it partnered with black shorts that hit just above his knee. His Birkenstock’s were well worn it, but in decent shape. He looked relaxed and childish in a way, a trusting face. Someone you could tell everything to, very trusting.

“Hey Y/N, I’m Danny. Nice to meet you! Love the shirt.” His smile was contagious. A kind soul. You smiled, your mouth opening to reply before someone spoke up.

“Your outfit in total is just suburb. The shirt, the high waisted shorts, the Birkenstock’s. Fantastic. I’m Josh by the way.” You were overwhelmed but not frightened in the least by his quick words. He seemed friendly as well, he spoke with his hands, twisting them, retailing every syllable with a flick of a finger. Very unique. That uniqueness ran through to his outfit. Short red shorts, a black flowing shirt decorated with layered necklaces with different details on each.

You smiled in your reply, “you’re very kind, also where the hell did you get your shoes, I love them.” They were small, black Toms looking shoes.

Josh smiles at you sweetly, even more in tuned with the conversation, which you didn’t think was possible, “Well you see, they are 100% recycled material. You can wash them and they have a lifetime warranty. I can give you the website, love them!” All the boys seemed to laugh at Josh’s enthusiasm.

The unnamed one speaking up, “Oh please don’t get him started on those damn shoes!” He laughed while stroking his bottom lip with his right thumb and pointer finger. “I’m Jake by the way. Lovely to meet you.”

Jake was intriguing to you. He carried himself differently than the other boys, as far as you could tell. Still kind and light hearted, more monotoned. He work black skinny jeans, brown boots and a grey t-shirt topped with a brown floppy hat.

You smiled at all of the boys.

“You guys seems cool. What brings you down here?” You move so you’re sitting on the counter, having a feeling you will be talking for a while.

Josh spoke up first, “We’re recording some songs at the moment, trying to get to an album, but we got stuck. So we decided to get some inspiration out here.”

The way he spoke was captivating, confident in a way that captured everyone’s attention. You were fascinated.

“LA is inspirational if you allow it to be. Are you guys all in a band?”

They all nodded their heads yes.

“Alright who does what? Wait can I guess?!” You we’re excited.

“Hell yeah go for it.” Sam said. They all stood in a line, it looked as if they were in a police line up, you giggled but stared at them intently.

“Alright... Danny, you’re the drummer.”

“Fuck you’re good!” Danny said laughing and stepping out of line walking over to you giving you a high five.

“It’s the arms my man, dead give away.” You smiled at him and continued. “Sam... singer? No. No. No. guitar?” You questioned. Crossing your arms, looking far to serious for this situation.

“Ha! No! I’m bass and keys baby!” He then played air piano aggressively and walked over to stand with Danny.

You laughed and continued.

“Josh, you’re obviously the singer.” You said with false confidence.

“Woah!” Josh was shocked. “What’s so obvious about it!?”

“My friend, you annunciate your words eloquently, so it was a good guess.” You said smiling at the curly haired man.

“Touché Y/N. Touché.” He walked towards the other boys while staring you down jokingly.

You hopped off the counter walking towards Jake. Jokingly inspecting him you walked around him pretending to judge him harshly.

“Hmmmm... Jake Jake Jake.” You stopped standing in front of him, looking up into his eyes. You were taken aback a bit by his steady glare, a smirk appeared on his face.

“You, darling, are a guitar player.”

He smiled at you, “oh yeah?”

You walked away jokingly confident, “yes of course, your hands are calloused to all hell.”

Sam jumped towards you throwing his arm around you, “Damn Y/N 3/4 ain’t bad at all!”

They all laughed along. You realized you knew what they all played, but no idea what band they were in.

“Wait, what’s the name of the band. Maybe I have heard of you!” You looked at Sam expectingly.

“Greta Van Fleet.” He said nodding his head down firmly, seemingly proud.

“What kind of music do y’all play?”

“Give me your phone I’ll show you!”

You grabbed your phone, unlocking it and handing it to Sam. He immediately opened Spotify. While Sam was looking them up Josh looked like he got an idea.

“Y/N you should come by tonight! We’re having a bonfire, it’ll be fun!”

You go to reply but the sound of a guitar blaring through the speakers interrupts your train of thought. You’re instantly taken aback by the music. Immediately feeling your body bounce with the beat, you begin to press your fingers on your right hand to your thumb. An anxiety coping mechanism that centers your focus onto one thing. It’s a habit of yours.

The boys look at you curiously again, but you don’t notice.

Jake smiled and explained, “This is Black Smoke Rising.”

You agknowledge him with a smile and a head nod. Far too into the music to reply. This always happens to you, your ear for music goes beyond the lyrics and main instruments. You’re a song writer through and through, you connect with songs in a euphoric way, and uncontrollable reaction.

The song comes to an end. The boys look at you, waiting for your response. You stared at all of them, taking your time looking at each and every one of them for a moment.

“Guys, that was absolutely sick. That’s just... Sam give me my phone.”

He immediately handed it over to you.

You quickly save their music to your library and follow the band.

“We have a new fan!” Josh says with a smile as wide as his face. He continues, “so will you come tonight? Please?” He batts his eyes at you pleading.

You hesitate, “I would love to, but I have plans with my best friend Syd tonight. I can’t bail.”

All the boys looked at you, evidently bummed by your answer. Jake is the one who spoke up.

“See if she wants to come! If not, that’s fine. Here, put your number in my phone. I’ll text you the details.” He handed you his phone. As you typed in your number you said hopefully,

“Perfect! I’ll see what I can do!” You smile at all of them, Jake opened his mouth to say something when the front door bell rang followed by a group of teenagers coming in the store. You looked over seeing that the group was looking a little lost.

“Well boys, it was lovely to meet you, but I do have to get some work done. I get off at 6 tonight, so I’ll let you know if I can make it!”

The guys looked at you with big smiles filled with excitement.

“Wonderful!” Sam said clapping his hands together. “Just let us know!” He smiles and have me a side hug before walking towards to door. Josh said goodbye to me next with a hug and an excited clap of his hands, leaving with a wink causing you to laugh. Danny walked over to you and gave you a sweet side hug, “Hope you can make it tonight Y/N!” He waved to you while he walked away.

You smiled and waved as he walked out the door, chasing after the other boys who were out of the store by now. Your eyes fell to Jake who looked at you with an amused face.

“What?” You looked at him and giggled.

“You’re just...” He shook his head and smiled at the ground before continuing, “I hope you come tonight Y/N.” He took a step towards you and stopped, shuffling his feet, debating something, before walking towards the door. He stopped and looked back at you, “I’ll text you, alright?” You nodded your head towards him and waved goodbye before he walked out the door.

You went back to work, helping the other customers in the store before finishing your cd stocking. Rob came back out from his office and sent you on your much needed lunch break.

You made your way to the back room with your lunch box in hand, a nervous smile spreading on your lips while you pulled out your phone quickly typing in Syd’s contact to shoot her a text.

Y/N: Soooooo... How do you feel about going to a bonfire tonight instead a movie night🤗

Syd: Y/N. I don’t like people. You know this.

Y/N: Yes, but I will still buy you McDonalds, and there will be cute boys👏🏻

Syd: I mean... you had me with the nuggets, but boys help. You owe me. 🖕🏻

Y/N: 🖕🏻❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

THANK YOU FOR READING!

SHOOT ME SOME FEEDBACK LOVES!

-Trish

[vapormaison]

Best of 2019 Vaporwave Release 3/4: Sensual Loops SPECIAL EDITION by Cyber Club

As vaporwave matures and enters the mainstream, I often find myself having discussions with vapor heads on reddit about the iconography of the genre. I realize that this is a bad idea, but cannot help myself. More often than not, they are pointlessly terse, and tend to be tediously teleological — the type of argumentation featuring enough loops of logic to cause a medieval Byzantine monk’s head to spin.

A recurring topic that baits me every single time is when a poster attempts to criticize the album art of a record, dismissing the entire work on the based on “anime” aesthetics. While this might seem like an argument so off-center and reductive that it’s parody— I’d encourage you to go on r/VaporVinyl and take a look at some of the posts replying to threads about Cyber Club’s Sensual Loops LP series. It’s not pretty, and representative where some of the fanbase is at the moment. Adding to my shock was when one of the self-appointed critics outed themselves as twenty three years old. At that moment, I was forced to confront my own bias. I had mistakenly assumed that the puritan was an out-of-touch Gen Xer or a Baby Boomer. Aesthetic intolerance is not exclusive — and plenty of Zoomers are members of this trash clique as well.

What really boggled my mind, however, was that the user had picked vaporwave out of all the other possible genres to go on their Nipponophobic soapbox against. A quick look at the aesthetic movement as a whole (sonically, artistically, etc.) establishes it as what I would assert as a primarily millennial genre — less of a statement about its creators and consumers, and more about the broader, overarching cultural milieu in which in developed. It was birthed in the decade that heralded the mass-consumption of Japanese media in the Western marketplace. Many of its early practitioners got their start chopping and screwing anime OSTs and hip hop. Future Funk effectively appeared on the sonic map by the sampling of Japanese city pop. What is even worth arguing here?

But that which bothered me even more was the user’s stubborn refusal to even listen to the album. You can not buy a vinyl because you just have a particular aversion to cover art — that’s fine! Better yet, you can not buy a vinyl just because you’re not a fan of the sound. Those are two perfectly fine reasons not to partake in a release. But then to go on reddit and complain about an album aesthetic for something you haven’t even listened to? Come on, fam. Level up your praxis. It is the whitewashing and the boorishness that is most infuriating. I’ve legitimately never heard of anyone who dismissed an entire album’s music purely on the basis of its vinyl cover art before.

And shame on them, because they are sleeping on one of the best works of 2019.

The limited edition of Sensual Loops 1 & 2 is another LP that I had the luxury of listening to while on my East Asia tour. I brought the album (among others) with me to visit a very good pal of mine, Han, who’s retired to Hong Kong. Much to my relief, he’s in a comparatively spacious apartment over in the Tai Wo area — by no means the stereotypical postage stamp — and has set up a little audiophile pad that I’m most envious of. His setup is devoted to all things B&W, and I got a beautiful listen of the album on a pair of impressive and almost imposing 700-series floor standers. Powered by the Cambridge Audio Edge series Amp/Pre combo, this was far above even my paygrade. But after working as a salaryman for two decades, he was finally able to invest in his endgame system. And what an endgame it is!

Getting the chance to listen Sensual Loops on this system cemented my opinion when I had first heard it’s release digitally: I was listening to an instant contender for the best vaporwave release of 2019.

Sensual Loops 1

Introduction immediately fills your speakers with a wide, warm guitar and horn loops that feature just enough static noise to distinguish itself as a vaporwave track. I always like it when a little minute-thirty track gives the amp a little exercise. It also proves to be a perfect sonic setup for the next track, which is ostensibly what every “intro” track should do, right?

Night carries that guitar riff from Introduction but adds a playful variance with a synth loop, and vocals that I believe are sampled from that Philly Soul classic “Children of the Night” done by the Stylistics and the Jones Girls’, among others. All of the moving parts here do wonders, syncing together in a perfect arrangement. Both Han and I commented on just how bright this played on his JBLs, which is a testament to the mix and mastering work here.

Love & Affection definitely feels the most retro-vapor of all the tracks on Sensual Loops 1, beginning with a series of loops, riffs, and synth chimes that feel as if they were picked from a certain collection of sitcoms of an early nineties vintage. The heavily distorted vocals and hypnotic drum kits pop in after about a minute to give the track an almost deep house feel as it progresses. The “all mine” hook then crescendos into a symphony of drum hits that conclude the track with a real sonic flutter in the air when played with high-end speakers.

Pain accelerates the rather slow pace of the album up to this point. I’m a big fan of the synth arrangement that opens the track, and I schmood even more with the powerfully funky vocal set that carries the track throughout. But with its short length, it does feel more like an interlude or setup for what I consider to be the highlight of the LP.

Memories is our certified slapper. It starts off immediately with an incredibly catchy synth chord arrangement supplemented by a fantastically tweaked vocal sample from the fantastically, alliteratively-named Melba Moore, another funky soul queen who needs a revival in the contemporary lexicography.

Sensual definitely swings the record a bit further away from the future funk and back towards the vapor-funk side of things. Back are cyber club’s usual array of jumpy, tinny synth chords and manipulated vocal micro-samples that still provide a really robust sonic experience on the hi-fi system of your choice. When the vocals make their appearance about ninety seconds in, I was expecting them to sound much less rich in the middle than they did, which was definitely a present surprise on the mastering side!

Alone is a beautiful cacophony of micro-samples with a vocal track manipulated to sound like an 80s ideal of a future robot gf. I’m not sure how else to describe this track except as pure atmosphere. The fluttering synths, muted percussion, electric highs that send tweeters bouncing — it’s difficult to precisely describe how a track like this comes over a hi-fi system like the Edge. It just pulls out every detail from an immensely dense track like this and does it every bit the justice it deserves.

Paradise ends up taking a traditional funk and re-engineering it into a sort of quasi-tropical sound similar to some of the early Aloe Island Posse bangers. It’s got a much more lo-fi edge to the track then most future funk takes on a track like this, and creates a really unique and playful experience.

Bliss is almost raw synth pop with a hardened vapor edge to it. Although the original sample is from a very soulful electro R&B outfit — the Loose Ends — we get aggressive drums and synth loops that bring this closer to Paula Abdul than anything that could be traditionally considered rhythm and blues. Just enough manipulation of the vocal sample and some well-timed percussion hits make this more fit for a night out than a baby-making session in, which is both remarkable and a testament to cyber club’s skill.

Sensual Loops 2

Intro captures a little more of than urban-turned-Island soundscape that we caught a glimpse of in Paradise. I’m eternally impressed by this, as it seems like Cyber Club never gets too caught up in the production to bring this too far from its vapor essence while still making this a great lede in its own right.

Sensual was a track I was initially expecting to be a remix or redux of the first Sensual from Sensual Loops 1, but I’m glad to see this piece of bass-heavy vapor exists as its own full-bodied track in its own right. It grabs you immediately with its “I’ll never give up on you” vocal loop spliced in among its synth array, and carries you through with an intriguing arrangement of instrumental loops and micro-samples throughout. The low end can really shine here with the right system.

Hold Her Now is a piece of nostalgic, vintage vaporwave straight out of the Saint Pepsi era. Ostensibly a creative cut-up some New Jack Swing that absolutely slaps with the right electric guitar riff and synthetic percussion hit, it harkens back to when vaporwave was in its “peak aesthetics” phase of production and plunder-phonic glory. Perhaps this reminder of what vaporwave used to be unfairly biases me, but it’s definitely a listen for the nostalgia driven old-heads.

Affair is the type of track that sounds completely different on certain types of stereos. While Han’s stereo brought out the crisp, wide vocal mix — perhaps a testament to Cambridge’s design history, my Harman Kardon/KEF pairing brought the synth flares here to the fore. The testament to this track is that I really enjoyed both profiles, and Affair sounded robust and detailed throughout.

Kiss is one of the tracks that I felt coolest on upon an initial listen, which is perhaps a statement to just how much I enjoyed this album. When presented with the innovative arrangements of tracks like Hold Her Now or Memories, I was left feeling that Kiss doesn’t do enough in its minute thirty second runtime. That being said, it’s fun. And that’s what music can and should be at the end of the day, isn’t it?

Touch heaps on that vapor memory with some creative vocal layering, tinny and distorted high-end flutters, and an electric horn that came out swinging in the Cambridge system, much to my surprise. It’s clear at this point that Cyber Club has created a very particular listening experience here, and I’m oh so fond of it.

Special makes a funky classic fresh and electric again, which is what I’m really starting to vibe with in terms of the Cyber Club oeuvre. It serves as a sort of confirmation, a celebration and an altogether fantastic close to the LP.

Vinyl Physicality & Listening Experience

I like black vinyl. This milquetoast statement has earned for me the ire of some enthusiasts on r/VaporVinyl when I post on my alt-account there. Because vaporwave attracts curators with “experience” in the music industry, I’ve been told by “serious LP collectors [who know] label managers” — the type of folks who spin on $100 Crosley turntables bought at a Kohl’s Black Friday sale — that new black vinyls just doesn’t sell anymore. Not for vaporwave, at least. A release should have a colored vinyl or not release at all!

This was a take from the same twenty-three year old who wouldn’t purchase Sensual Loops because of the hentai on the cover — so take that for what you will.

I’ve always liked the supplier that Sic Records uses — whoever they are. The vinyls always have a bit of mass and heft to them, leading me to guess that they’re probably in the 180g range. But that’s just my finger test. My Jungle2000 vinyl feels just as weighty. I’ve always believed there’s a definite spectrum with black vinyls — from the frail Qrate cheap options to the high end audiophile oriented waxes like the beautifully crafted Victor Japan and Columbia waxes from the late 80s and early 90s that you see most city pop and anime OSTs pressed on.

The masters on these records are definitely intriguing for the format. My biggest critique of vaporwave vinyl at this point is that some labels don’t take the requisite care to put out a good vinyl master, and often just end up going all-in with poorly optimized digital release ones. The folks at Sic definitely know what they’re doing — because this ended up playing great on a number of systems and speakers, from my KEFs and H/K setup, to a friends Technics mid-fi rig, to Han’s Cambridge endgame. Each time, we got a wide-but-not-too-wide play without the sound edging towards the bright end of the spectrum too intensely. I think this is important because it respects a lot of the samples used. The mixing work done on a lot of the Philly soul here definitely had a certain muted approach that really brought out the most from the vocals and left instrumental arrangements to a moderately more ambient role. I get that impression of continuity here and love it for that.

In short, you should snap up this release while you can. It’s a great release, and fuck the vaporwave nannies who’d shut down Cyber Club’s best two albums without even a listen. May that /u/ go down with u/hoesmad_ on r/Vaporwave’s wall of shame.

[twistednuns]

December 2019

Maxim calling out of the blue, inviting me to the Mine concert later that month.

Stumbling upon great inspiration for plant-based buddha bowls.

@shitgothssay memes.

Zotter salted caramel chocolate.

Finding out about the fact that you can just add the letter A to some words to transform them into adjectives. Like aglitter or aglow and aglisten.

Ayurvedic Kapha tea with some black tea, honey and milk. Sonnentor Gute Laune tea. Green tea with toasted coconut.

Isana shower oil. Works wonders for dry skin. Such a smooth and creamy texture. Great for shaving, too.

Winning the pub quiz - again! I played with Maggie, Dennis, Daniel and Steffen (Team name: Three geese in a trenchcoat) and we won 178€. However, the best thing about this was when I finally solved the anagram after thinking about it for 10 minutes. It was Greta Thunberg! Winning is lovely, of course, but solving the anagram is already a personal win for me each time.

Tuesdays. Coming home early, sleeping it off.

Being super rested after a nap, cooking a huge pot of veggie stew and my ratatouille signature recipe, even preparing a batch of butter bean hummus and salad dressing. Listening to folk music, singing along, even dancing at some point. Standing there, peeling the potatos… Happy moment.

Signature manicure. Always. This time: bluish iridescent lilac with the obligatory black dot.

A personal realisation. I’ve been massively out of touch with myself. I’ve stopped journaling, stopped doing things for myself because they’re beneficial and not because they’re convenient and numb everything. And why is that a good thing? Well, only being at this point and realising what’s wrong with me makes it possible to do something against it. To come up a self-care plan. To make myself feel better.

Semi-deleting Facebook.

Spending time with Manu for the first time in three months. Watching a documentary about black holes and a cheesy Christmas movie. Ordering south Indian food, cuddling up in bed. Sometimes I don’t know why I keep isolation myself. Being around people can be really lovely and soothing if you can be yourself around them. It’s just that I often feel the presence of other living beings drains my energy.

The best massage I ever had. From now on I’ll always request Yaya as my massage therapist. She is SICK. Strong, merciless, forces me into weird poses and makes my back crack.

Also: the chocolate-filled mint hard candy they hand out at the massage studio. I used to hate mint-infused chocolate but somehow I think these are delicious. Perfect after-torture-treat.

Persimmons. Obsessed.

My eye colour in artificial light. A dark moss green with caramel-coloured speckles and a dark rim.

The National playing a 2-hour-long concert and including some of my favourite songs from the High Violet album. Fangirling with Anika.

The smell of cold. You know, that whiff of cool air you get when you’re sniffing a jacket that’s been hanging on the balcony for a few hours to air out.

Learning more about Claire Saffitz from this article - she likes arts and crafts, is a homebody and has degrees in history and literature! She basically enrolled in culinary school because she was bored after graduation. She’s an enigma of a quirky kind. Not brilliant and scattered, but determined and aimless. Not brave and rebellious, but anxious and creative. She hates change yet pursues it, wants order but trades in chaos. She’s loved because she hates stuff; performs well because she can’t perform. And above all, she’s aggressively regular—and something about this makes the crowd go wild.

Fresh laundry smell on my blankets and pillows. And my new gravity blanket. It weighs 11kg which feels crazy heavy when you carry it but the weight evenly distributes over the body when you’re lying down. Apparently the pressure triggers the release of stress hormones. So far I’m sleeping like a baby and I don’t seem to wake up or move much at night.

Stephanie Madewell. I love everything she writes, her blog is such a godsend of beautiful, important, eclectic ideas. One thing I especially like are her imaginary outfits.

Princess Margaret’s limerick contest with President Lyndon B. Johnson in The Crown. Pure comedy. “There was a young lady from Dallas / who used a dynamite stick as a phallus / they found her vagina in North Carolina / and her asshole in Buckingham Palace.”

Little pieces of string in the corners of a duvet cover. It’s the first time I’ve seen those. So practical for big blankets!

Mental health days. I needed this. So much. Mornings in bed, reading for hours. Drinking a whole pot of tea.

Partner yoga. Chanting the closing mantra together.

Making vegan energy balls for my brother. I adapted the recipe and made my own versions so I ended up with a batch of pistachio/cherry and mango/sesame.

Freaking out whenever I see a cute cat. Damn, I really need to spend more time with animals. My highlight: breakfast in bed, watching a video of an adorable cat giving birth. I cried. Yup.

Going swimming for the first time in, man, I don’t even know. Forever. I didn’t swim for a long time, maybe half an hour, but muscle memory kicked in immediately. Water is totally my element. And, as if it had been destiny: I chose the day they cut the hanging plants in the main hall and the guy gave me a variety of five different cuttings to take home!! He made me a very happy girl.

The ink blue sky right after sunset. / The morning after the full moon in Gemini (the moon still bright and huge, visible in the bluish-grey Western sky). / When the sun suddenly comes out after a very dark and gloomy morning.

Buying a new phone. The old one was broken beyond repair. I even got a nice cork protective case. How could I ever live without an uncracked screen? The battery now actually lasts for more than a day. Nice.

Odd bits of knowledge: A galanthophile is an enthusiastic collector and identifier of snowdrop (Galanthus) species and cultivars. (Wikipedia) // Scientists theorize the Universe might have cracks in it: long thin boundaries that formed as space cooled after the Big Bang. 95 billion lightyears long and a few femtometers thin, these wrinkles in space-time would hold enough energy to bend light and destroy entire planets. (PHD comics) // the word to bloviate (German meaning: schwafeln, langatmig vortragen) // In Japan we have three rituals: HANAMI, TSUKIMI, and YUKIMI. HANAMI is watching the flowers. TSUKIMI is watching the moon, YUKIMI is watching the snow. It’s a beautiful tradition when you invite people to watch with you. I remember them all. (Yoko Ono) // In linguistics, prosody is concerned with those elements of speech that are not individual phonetic segments (vowels and consonants) but are properties of syllables and larger units of speech, including linguistic functions such as intonation, tone, stress, and rhythm. Such elements are known as suprasegmentals. Prosody may reflect various features of the speaker or the utterance: the emotional state of the speaker; the form of the utterance (statement, question, or command); the presence of irony or sarcasm; emphasis, contrast, and focus. It may otherwise reflect other elements of language that may not be encoded by grammar or by choice of vocabulary. (Wikipedia) //

I know I mention this a lot but the first olfactory whiff of a freshly cut open passion fruit is one of the best smells I know.

When my breakfast tastes like a candy bar. Which it immediately does whenever I add almond butter and cocoa nibs to porridge.

Yoga at home on a sunny Saturday afternoon. I’m often too lazy to get out my yoga mat but whenever I do afterwards I’m always so glad I practiced. Also: going to yoga class despite being extremely stressed out. It actually helped me silence some of these tormenting thoughts in my head.

Cutting my own hair. It’s kinda ridiculous and layered but I love the new bounce.

Michael Nyman - Musique à grande vitesse x // feels like it makes my pulse quicker, it’s urging and forceful.

My adventures in psychedelia - an article about the therapeutic effect of psychoactive drugs. I’m going to get Michael Pollan’s book about the topic from the library next week. So interesting.

People who are still writing letters.

My pupils. I realised that some of them have become very fine people. Open, compassionate, motivated, interested, bright, polite. Like the students who attended our first school magazine meeting in their spare time - on the last school day before the Christmas holidays - and had all these amazing ideas. Victor, being able to hold a conversation like an adult. Marks cuddling that dog in front of the supermarket. My tenth-graders being really reasonable, managable, easy to talk to.

Liza Weil’s role as Shy Baldwin’s bass player in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. It took me three episodes to recognize her.

A little embroidery set. I love keeping my hands busy when I’m watching movies.

Making vegan walnut lebkuchen and a very good batch of crisp bread in one go.

Roast apples with candied almonds and marzipan for Christmas dinner. Some buckwheat chocolate cookies. Actually helping out my mum in the kitchen.

Sitting at the piano with my brother, singing tunes from our childhood series, Disney songs, pop songs… We both had sore throats afterwards.

Visiting Sash’s parents over Christmas. Her mum cooked a pretty great lunch and we played board games.

Learning how to make a monkey fist knot.

Finding a new spot I like in my apartment. The chair right next to the window at the kitchen table. It’s nice and warm because you can sit beside the heater and while you have breakfast or browse through a cookbook you can see what’s going on outside.

Seeing the incredible gobelins at Kunsthalle / Fäden der Moderne exhibition. I loved the Le Corbusier ones.

Visiting Manu at his parents' place. Playing board games together, his mum feeding me with parsley potatoes and a weird _bird's milk_ dessert. Lying on the sofa, watching old movies. It's weirdly nice to be part of a normal family dynamic once in a while.

Andre saving my New Year’s Eve at the very last minute. Out of the blue he suggested a trip to Czech Republic right after midnight the day before. I was like… okay, let’s do this! So I met up with him and three people I had never met before in Regensburg and we drove to Český Krumlov, checked into our fancy hotel and walked down to the city centre. Czech food for dinner, a band playing at the city square. We climbed up to the castle for the turn of the year. This must have been the first year that started out with a proper New Year’s kiss. Afterwards we went to a weird music bar and - apparently - one of the best clubs in the country. I had a lot of fun. Even though getting Andre home was quite a challenge.

[primal-screamer-blog1]

Mutually Assured Destruction (Playlist Here) Rating: Mature Pairing: Nikki Sixx/F. OC Description: Growing restless in his discontent, Nikki Sixx is plagued with past anxieties that he never could find the courage to confront. He’d seen and done it all but when it came to Ruby Moon, he’d always felt he had unfinished business. Now, years after their tumultuous relationship had seemingly come to an end, Nikki finds himself compulsively recounting memories and asking questions only she would have the answers to. total word count: 20,586

Prologue One : Red When I See You Two : Attention, Affection Three : Think About What You Know Four : Patience Five : Different Between Us Warnings: Heavy drug use, heavy profanity, alcohol, brief descriptions of sexual acts, yelling, male aggression A/N: Decided not to change Ruby’s name. I know it’s Nikki’s daughter-to-be’s name, but I named my character quite some time before he announced that and I just can’t think of any other name that would fit her. I love the name Ruby Moon and besides, with her being Japanese and Mexican, it’s really just an Americanized version of her name anyway. Her full name will be revealed in a different chapter though. This is my longest chapter and that’s why it took so long to write it. I absolutely love this one, maybe a little more than chapter three, which has so far been my favorite to write. Really hope you guys like it as much as I do. As always, thank you so much for reading, commenting, liking, reblogging, everything you do. 

Nikki was different when he came back from tour.  

At their welcome home party, he was more assured of himself. Rather than slouching and skulking about, looking for someone to direct his aimless frustration at, he stood up taller, happy to strut around his new house. He made eye contact with throngs of people rather than staring at his boots, even pushing his hair out of his face before talking to them. He spoke with more authority, no longer second guessing himself before speaking up and when he smiled, he showed his teeth. His edge wasn’t gone; it was sharpened. He wore a dog collar. He had tattoos. When he saw Ruby, they’d both already been drinking. He lifted her up and crushed her into a hug. He let out a relieved groan as she cackled, her arms flailing for a grip on him. She squealed as he spun her around and let her down dizzy and stumbling. “Fuck!” She grabbed onto his arm for support and he nudged her to set her balance off even further than the alcohol already did. “Has it been actual years?” He shouted, keeping an arm around her and drinking from a bottle of Jack Daniels. He had to shout. Too Fast For Love played over the impressive speaker system wired around the house, the bass shaking the room. His new house was massive and at the late hour, filled with nearly hundreds of people in tight leather and denim. The dim lights in the high ceilings bounced off their studs and rhinestones, glossy black tile floors casting dark, glamorous glares. Cigarette and marijuana smoke hung thick in the resonant concave room, a haze over the night. Nikki was taller than ever in his six inch heels and tight black leather. People crowded around them. Women neither had ever seen in skimpy dresses craned their necks and pretended not to watch Nikki focus his attention on Ruby. In a corner across the room, Tommy excitedly elbowed Mick hard in the side. “Hey! Careful where you stick that thing, drummer!” Mick scolded him, feeling a pain shoot down his leg. “Shit, I’m sorry, man! But check it out!” He nodded over at Ruby and Nikki. “You think he’s gonna score with her tonight?” “Hopefully. Then maybe he’ll finally shut the fuck up about it.” Ruby had to push herself up on her toes to talk into Nikki’s ear over the music and other people doing the same. She wore a tight white cropped t shirt, bright red leather pants and lipstick to match, her black hair pulled over her shoulder. “This place is fucking amazing!” She told him, placing a small hand on his chest. “I know!” He slurred, lifting the bottle to her lips and pouring a shot in her mouth. “Feels like it was only yesterday I was crashin’ on your couch.” “That was only like two months ago!” She coughed, wiping liquor from her chin. “Whatever!” He tousled her hair. “I don’t care! Look at this place! It’s huge!” He spit a shot out somewhere into the crowd. Whoever it hit shouted something Nikki wasn’t able to make out, but he flipped him off anyway and cackled. He turned back to Ruby. “Do we even know that guy?” She hardly heard his question. She was too focused on how happy he seemed, unabashedly and unapologetically himself for the first time in a long time. When she first met Nikki, he often was barely holding it together. Now, she felt nothing but pride as she watched him let it all out. She threw her arms around his torso and laughed. “I missed you so fucking much!” “I missed you too!” He leaned in closer. “Hey, hey, hey….has anyone given you a bump yet?” “No! I was waiting for you!” “C’mon, come with me. Come with me, let’s go.” Nikki grabbed her arm and turned to shove through the crowd, most of them stopping to try for his attention. He seldom looked up to stop, grumbling and shouting playfully at people to make room. “‘Scuse me! Move! I have to go do drugs now!” He called out to no one in particular. Usually plagued by insecurity, he moved with ease now, well aware that everyone had gathered to see him. Ruby shrunk away a bit behind him, happy to let him bask in it. “Nikki!” A deep voice bellowed behind them as the crowd thinned out by the staircase. It wasn’t the first time that night someone called his name, but it was the first time his mass of hair perked up to see who it was. An older man in a dark blue button down and slacks lumbered over to them, a wide smile on his round face. He clutched a small drink in one fat hand and clapped the other on Nikki’s shoulder. “Some party, huh? You having fun?” He boomed. “Oh shit! Doc! Hey!” He patted the man on the back. “Who’s this little piece you got, Sixx?” He motioned to Ruby, grinning at her. “The girl from the magazine!” “This is Ruby.” He said as she greeted Doc, shaking his hand. “She’s in a band too. She sings.” “Really?” Doc turned to her. “With a face and body like that, I don’t even need to hear it. You enjoying the party, little lady?” “Are you fucking kidding?” She exclaimed, ignoring the crass remarks in favor of the offer she heard within them. Working at the strip club kept her on her toes around men like him. She would work with what he gave her. “This is incredible. You put this on, right?” “Of course, I did! I made your boy here a lot of money too. You wanna do the same?” She stared at him wide eyed, unsure of his candor. “You’re joking.” Nikki and Doc shared a laugh. “Listen to me,” Doc began and came in closer. “I’m aware of every face that matters in Los Angeles. I saw yours at least fifteen times before I got back to this god forsaken city. Can you carry a tune? What do you play?” “Rock music. I sing, I can play guitar but I sing.” “A frontwoman! Even better. We’ll both make a boat load. Sixx, you’ll slide the tape across my desk, won’t you?” “Fuck yeah, Doc.” Nikki chugged the remainder of his whiskey in a giant gulp and forcefully smashed the bottle on the staircase railing behind them, party goers and glass scattering. “Oops!” He laughed. “For fuck’s sake! Like you’ll even remember this conversation!”  “Wait, you really mean it?” Ruby asked, grasping Doc’s hand before Nikki could distract him further. “I mean it! I’ve seen your face in two different countries now, I wanna hear your voice. Get me a tape and I'll get you a contract.” He gave her small hand a squeeze  before waving her off. “Now go! I didn't spend a paycheck on this party so pretty girls could stand around sober! Go have fun!”

She was drunk by the time Nikki had led her to his new room. Pressed against his red bedroom door, a couple sloppily locked lips, their hands slowly roaming the others body. “Ew.” Ruby muttered as they came upon the pair. “Aw c’mon man, this is my fucking room.” Nikki yelled, throwing his arms up. “Whoa! Nikki Sixx!” The man gasped, jumping away from the girl. He had big brown curly hair and wore a Kiss shirt and tight jeans. He stuck his hand out enthusiastically and began rambling despite Nikki ignoring his gesture. “Hey, I’m a huge fan, man! Too Fast For Love rips!” He threw up his devil horns before pointing at Ruby. “Oh shit! You’re the girl from the billboard! Oh, man! You score the hottest chicks!” “What are you doing here, dude?” Nikki asked flatly, ignoring his fawning. “Huh?” The man’s smile didn’t fall at all. “This is my house. How did you get in here?” “This is your house? No way! I knew Motley Crue was gonna be here, but I didn’t know this was your house!” The girl leaned up against the wall next to him, too drunk to hold herself up on stiletto heels. She fluffed her white blonde hair and straightened her tight dress under her denim jacket, batting big eyes at Nikki. “What the fuck are you doing?” “Well, honestly dude, I’m a huge fan and I knew you guys were gonna be here so I was actually wondering if you’d listen to my tape. I brought it along with me and I think you’d really-” “Oh fuck off, user.” Nikki pushed the man in the face and pulled his bedroom door open. “And get the fuck out.” “Dude, what the hell!” As Ruby followed him in, the blonde girl took a hesitant step behind her to follow before being met with a hand. “Oh, no! Nah,” Ruby laughed. “You can fuck off too.” She was giggling. She’d hardly been able to contain herself through the whole situation and given the chance to open her mouth, she couldn’t hold it in. The girl rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.  “God, whatever. Goodnight Nikki!’

Nikki stumbled around in the dark room, looking for a light before turning around and holding up his middle finger. He made a loud fart noise and Ruby pulled the door shut behind her. “Oh my god!” She cackled, sliding down the door into the plush black carpet. “What the fuck, dude?” Nikki tripped over a pile of clothes before flicking on a small lamp on his bedside table. “And somehow I’m insane, right?” “No way.” She waved her hands in front of her face. “No way, that was insane.” Nikki groaned. Candelabras began to illuminate the room as he clumsily lit tall candles with his zippo around an overstuffed leather couch. “Pick out a record.” He told her, pointing to a clean Audio Technica set. She stood up, stumbling a little and looked around. She wasn’t surprised to find nearly everything was black but the dark burgundy walls. A huge four poster bed done up in ornate tapestries took up nearly half the room. Long silk curtains covered tall windows and horror movie posters were stuck up with nails around a large television set in the corner next to a bust of Baphomet. “So is that Doc guy legitimate? Like will he actually listen to our tape?” She asked as she thumbed through his record selection on a shelf below the record table.

“For the millionth time, have you seen this house? Do you see how many people are here?” He stood up and rummaged through a backpack that he picked up off the floor. “Doc is the most legitimate. He hooked us the fuck up. Everyone here and everyone on tour….they’re here for us. Motley fucking Crue. They heard our album and they fucking wanted more. Can you believe that shit?” He pulled a small plastic baggy out of his backpack and keyed up a bump on his pocket knife. He took a hit before joining Ruby cross legged on the floor. “Yes.” She told him honestly, stopping to look at the back of an AC/DC record. “Don’t put that one on.” “You told me to pick!” “Fuck, oh my god, fine. Taste this, though.” He scooped up a bit of powder on his middle finger and held it up for her. She took a hard sniff and tilted her head back, feeling a tangy sour taste hit the back of her throat. A subtle vibration spread from between her eyes to her fingertips and suddenly, everything heightened. She felt her cheeks get warm and tension release behind her temples. The light around the candles burned pinker than they did before, dancing on the red walls. She cooed. “Oh that is so good.” “Right?” Nikki cackled, taking another dip for himself and licking his fingers. “That’s what I’m saying. Doc hooks us the fuck up.” “How is that old man getting drugs like this?” “Like he said. He knows everyone! Look, I’m telling you. He did it for us. He’ll do it for you too.” He set up another hit on his pocket knife and held it out towards her. “Come to the dark side, Ruby Moon.” “You better be fucking right about this.” She rolled her eyes at him before inhaling. “Fuck.” “What’s your damage?” He laughed. “What do you mean?” “Why are you so freaked out?” “I dunno. I just...I mean Doc didn’t do it, you did. You, Mick, Vince and Tommy. You guys have been working so hard and I just-” “Oh c’mon!” He cut her off. She shot a look at him. “Whatever you’re gonna say, I need you to fuck off right now. You have been working your ass off. Don’t start making excuses when you get handed a fuckin’ short cut.” He got a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and pulled one out with his teeth. “I’m just nervous.” “Good. That’s the first step. Look,” He exhaled and leaned back on his elbows. He rolled his head on his shoulder and looked up at her. “I don’t know shit about your new band, but I’ve heard you sing. I’ve seen you perform. You were made to do this. Don’t slow that down for anything.” She blushed, remembering all over again why they were friends. Nikki was wild and being close to him came with its own considerable amount of emotional baggage. It’s why he didn’t let many people in to begin with - he felt too affective. But he was honest. For that, Ruby never faulted him for him for being harsh, even when she didn’t let him go unchecked in his turmoil, even when it came down on her. She saw him with empathy when most would simply cut their losses. When given the chance, he was loyal and sweet and kind and in return, she was endlessly grateful. “Forget this.” She told him with a grin. “Tell me about tour.” Nikki and Ruby talked into the night, the party below them pounding bass lines into the floor. They hardly noticed, too drunk and high on cocaine and the others presence to be bothered with a world outside of their own conversations. Even when Vince banged on the door, insisting “Nikki get your ass out here, there’s a girl letting us take shots out her asshole,” he simply shouted back “I’m busy!” “All I wanna do is talk to you.” He told her but with the veracity at which he was funneling grams of coke, Ruby knew that his horde at least had something to do with that. She told him all about Billie and Alex and the songs they started writing. She told him she wanted to focus on storytelling in her songwriting, the way Lou Reed and David Bowie did. She wanted to bring New York to LA and punk ethos to the glam scene, fronting with aggressive feminine sexuality. She wanted to be a counter to what the boys were doing, not just Motley Crue, but all the boys on the scene. All in all, she admitted, she wanted them to feel threatened. She wanted to show teeth. “It’s fucking perfect.” Nikki said. They’d moved onto his bed, spread juxtaposed across the huge mattress. She wore his leather jacket while they smoked cigarettes and tried on big expensive pairs of sunglasses he bought while he was away. He wanted nothing more than to listen to her, to let her fill his head with all the ideas that she conceived while he was gone and all the things she did. Mostly, he wanted to hear her voice, feeling parched for it after being away for so long. But his own thoughts broke off into fractals, too big to stay in his head. He told her about tour, about all the places they’d gone and the things they’d seen. When he thought of leaving the country for the first time, he didn’t think it would be to Canada. But he loved the mountains, so unlike the Hollywood Hills his house was set in. “There was just something really dark and foreboding about them. Fog would rise up on the peaks at night. So fucking metal.” He recounted. He said they ate expensive food, did expensive drugs and slept with expensive looking women. Together, him and Tommy destroyed hotel rooms and Vince managed to get them in a fight with a bar full of bikers. Mick broke it up. They met new people, saw new things and played their songs in front of thousands. He told her how Tommy found her in a magazine in Calgary. “I really hate that it’s blown up so much. They even called me to do another one.” “It’s the fucking last place I thought I’d ever see you. I was like fuck, I can’t get away from this girl!” He groaned. She paused and watched him rub his eyes before speaking, her own words starting to come out too quick. “Is that why you didn’t wanna talk to me on the phone?” “I uh…” He bit his lip and looked away. “I figured while I was gone, I should just be...really gone.” And there it was; what they’d been avoiding all night. Reality. She paused before she spoke again. “You know, I really missed you.” “I missed you too. Thought about you a lot. Tried not to, but I did.” She smiled, feeling a void fill after talking to him all night. She grabbed onto one of his pillows and took in his familiar smell. There was whiskey, sweat, and cigarettes, unleaded gasoline, and for the first time, there was the faintest hint of a musky cologne. She was reminded again of all the laughs, all the highs and lows, and late nights they used to share together. Somehow, it already felt so long ago. She felt the mattress dip as Nikki sat up, holding his knees to his chest. The party was quiet now, the music no longer playing. There was a muffled chatter from downstairs, the last few guests just loud enough to be heard. The dim grey light of dawn streamed in through a slit in his black curtains, his tall candles burned down to stumps in the candelabra. “Hey Ruby.” “Yeah?” He paused. “I wanna try something.” Maybe it was the cocaine or maybe it was the sentimentality. Maybe it was instinct but she moved next to him. She mirrored his pose and rested her cheek against her knee. “Try it.” With a hesitant sweep of his hand to the back of her neck, she lifted her face to meet his. Foreheads touching, there was an unexpected shyness in the approach and he laid his finger tips against hers. She glanced down. An unintended move, their lips brushed and she let out a soft breath to intermingle with his and he sighed lightly on her cheek. A warm ache spread in her chest and her hand moved to his hair but he held back. Eyes closed, he moved against her again, a smile twitching in his cautiousness. Her knees swayed and she pushed her nose into his, trying to make up the space that he teased. She breathed a nervous laugh on his lips, his hair tickling her face. He closed his mouth on hers. Like a first breath drawn in years of anticipation between them, he inhaled sharply and she let out a deep moan, opening for his tongue to hungrily lap at hers. His grip tightened on her neck and he pressed against her hard, sucking her soft bottom lip between his teeth. Her hand slid down his thigh and she pulled into him, responding to the need for control in his bite. Her other hand moved to his chest and he let out a guttural noise. “Fuck.” “Fuck!” Ruby pulled away and nearly sprang to the other side of the bed, clapping a hand over her mouth. “Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Shit.” She whispered under her breath, her eyes closed shut. She couldn’t look at Nikki’s expression fall to concerned confusion. “What?” He asked, coming closer to her. He placed a gentle hand under her chin. “What is it?” Axl. “Nikki, I…” She began and looked up at him. She took in a deep sigh and moved his hand away. She had no choice but to tell him. “I, uh….I fucked up. Something happened and I didn’t tell you.” His expression fell from concern to disappointment. “What?” “Fuck, I don’t want you to be upset.” “What the fuck, Ruby?” “I um….I started seeing someone.”

Nikki tensed. Any softness he was expressing vanished and he looked away, feeling the silence of the moment build up in the back of his throat. He let out a disbelieving spiteful laugh. “What? Like you have a boyfriend?” “Well...kind of? Not really...I don’t know.” “So what?” He stood up and turned away from her, pulling his hand through his hair. “You’re just gonna be snuggled up in my bed all night telling me how much you miss me and meanwhile you got a fucking boyfriend?” “I do miss you! I didn’t come up here thinking you were gonna kiss me!” “I didn’t either but fuck, you can’t do that shit! Ruby, you know how I fucking feel about you.” He stopped pacing. “God, man. Fuck, you know what? Get the fuck out.” He stormed to his door and pulled it open. “What?” Her face fell and she swallowed an emotion. They had gotten in fights before, screamed at each other until they were both out of breath. They clashed heads often enough that people who didn’t know either of them wondered why they spent time together. But even in the worst of times, Nikki had never told her to leave. Hot tears rose in her eyes.

“Get the fuck out.” “Nikki, please, don’t do this. Lemme stay and explain.” “Explain what? That you don’t give a fuck about me?” “That’s not true! You know that’s not true!” “I don’t know that! Not right now!” “Nikki, I didn’t mean for it to happen! We just spend a lot of time together. We haven’t even really talked about if we’re dating or not. It’s not...like that.” “Yeah? It wasn’t like that with Vince either but you still fucked him for six months while telling me some ‘I’m just not ready for a boyfriend’ bullshit. So it doesn’t really matter does it? I still get fucked over and lied to. And I guess I’m just gonna keep getting fucked over and lied to. So get the fuck out.” “Nikki!” “Go!” Ruby stormed out. She was already halfway down the hall when she heard the door slam shut. She wiped tears from her eyes, sweat prickling up around her neck. She fixed her hair and quickly tugged Nikki’s leather jacket off and dropped it on the ground, suddenly feeling heavy and oppressive. She shook her head and looked down as she rushed towards the stairs, her head feeling airy and her eyes sunken after hours of cocaine use. Her mouth ached. She felt stupid. She felt small. So distracted by her own self flagellation, she didn’t even notice Tommy coming up the stairs before crashing into him. She let out gasp of surprise and wiped tears from her cheeks, knowing she was making a failed effort to hide her wet eyes. She looked down. “Sorry.” She muttered quickly and tried to walk around him but he stepped in front of her. “Are you guys seriously fucking fighting right now?” He pushed his brows together, sounding - surprisingly - pissed off. “Oh fuck, did you hear that?” “Heard you both fuckin’ screamin’ all the way downstairs. What the fuck is going on?” “We were hanging out and uh….” She trailed off and shook her head, deciding Nikki probably needed to vent to Tommy more than she did. “He’ll tell you. Just make sure he doesn’t lock himself in his room and go on a bender or some shit. Rich boy coke has him fucking geeked.” “The fuck? What happened?” “I’ll call you tomorrow when I get outta work.” She told him, already on her way down the stairs.

“You know this was supposed to be a celebration, right?” He called after her.

Ruby sped home as the sun rose over the valley. She meant to get a driver but by the time she remembered, she was already halfway home. She squinted down the road, her eyes bloodshot and tired. She turned over in her head what she planned on doing, as if there was much she could do at all. All that mattered for her now was time; how much time it would take for Nikki to talk to her again and how much time it would take for her to tell Axl what happened. In between then, she’d have to learn how to accept that Doc’s offer was most likely gone. She groaned. It was a minor annoyance compared to the idea that she might not be able to make up for hurting Nikki. She went to bed sobbing Meanwhile, across town, Tommy sat on Nikki’s couch and watched him pace. “Yo what is going on? I thought you guys were totally up here fuckin’ all night!” “Yeah fucking right dude.” Nikki muttered, stopping to cut up several fat lines on his coffee table with a bowie knife. He didn’t intend any of them for Tommy. “Should’ve stayed with you guys. She’s got a boyfriend now.” “Oh what? Fuck that.” Tommy told him. “I heard that shit tonight and I honestly didn’t believe it. I never heard of Ruby having a steady dude.” “The fuck do you mean you heard that tonight?” Nikki looked up, hunched over his drugs. “I dunno, someone was telling me they seen her hanging around with some skinny mother fucker named Axl. I guess he’s a singer for some local band but I can’t remember the fucking name.” “Oh, go fucking figure he’s a singer. Is that her thing or something?” “This is what you guys were fighting about?” Nikki sighed and ripped a fat line. He stabbed his knife into the coffee table and looked up at Tommy. “She fucking kissed me.” Tommy’s mouth dropped slightly, trying to hide his surprise. “Oh…” “She kissed me. And then she told me she’s seeing someone. So fuck it, man. I’m over it. Not doing this shit anymore.” “You’re not even gonna be friends?” “Not if she can’t make up her fucking mind. I don’t wanna talk about this anymore, let’s go fucking blind.” Nikki and Tommy snorted drugs into the afternoon. When they ran out of coke, they moved onto a bag of painkillers Tommy was holding for someone else. They went numb through the night, listening to the heaviest records Nikki could find, barely noticing they hadn’t slept. Mick arrived later on to fill them with litres of vodka, knowing well in his experienced age what an ailing heart needed. “She fucked him up bad, huh?” Mick asked Tommy as they continued shot for shot after Nikki had passed out on the kitchen floor. Tommy looked at his best friend, eyes closed and sweaty cheek pressed against the tile floor. Tommy didn’t understand pain the same way Nikki did and after watching him blow thousands of dollars in drugs in one night, he was thankful for that. Still, he’d known Nikki to have gone through plenty worse and manage to come out on top. Maybe he overdid it, Tommy thought, but he couldn’t blame him. He was just having a bad night. He walked over to Nikki and pulled a lipstick tube out of his pocket, scribbling a crude, red heart on his forehead. He crossed it out. “He’ll be fine.” Taglist: @triplehaitches @itsclaranotcarla @vamprlestat @riders-of-rohann

[stormtrprinstilettos]

Chameleon - Ch. 3, part 1

Summary: Reader (that's you!) moves to London, hoping to leave her past behind and find happiness. She makes friends with her new neighbors. (Guess who?) I can’t summarize the whole story because it’s going places I don’t even know. It’s like it has a mind of its own.

**Note: Have to split this chapter into two posts because I’ve apparently hit a limit. Or you can read the whole thing in one swoop at the AO3 link below**

A/N: [insert scream here] I battled hard with where I was going to send this story but I’ve made my decision and I can’t turn back now. I know, I know, there’s still no relationship established, but, trust me. Next chapter? *phew* You’ll get it. You’ll get it… We’ll be doing a time warp soon. Just go with the flow. I wasn’t going to post until Saturday, but if I don’t do this now, I’ll end up driving myself crazy.

Language and angst about, as usual, but you, Y/N – you’re a strong ass female… and no man is gonna bring you down!

Tagging @chocolatealmondmilkshake and thanking my beta tester & cheerleader @clogwearingspacepoodle (and everyone else who is actually reading this, too!)

Ch 1 | Ch 2 || AO3 link here

(Enjoy this gif of our main players that separates all of this dribble from the story because the formatting sucks balls and because Angry Brian is how I felt when Tumblr wouldn’t let me post the whole thing, or when I try to post from the Tumblr app.)

You insisted on paying for dinner since you felt like you owed them from rescuing you from madness your first night in London, but the guys didn't want you to. You assumed it was some macho pride thing, so you shoved a wad of money into Freddie's pocket and told him to pretend like he was paying if it made them feel better. You guided them to a small, quiet Italian restaurant you loved and walked in before any of them could stop you.

You were all seated in a circular booth, Brian to your left and Roger to your right. Freddie was quite amused by the unspoken, minor rivalry between Brian and Roger when it came to deciding who would get to sit next to you, so he made sure you ended up in between them, just to see if anything would happen, purely for his own entertainment. He knew what was going on in your head. You vented about it to him many times.

There’s Roger, who you knew you’d have fun with, and you knew without any doubt would help satisfy the need that you didn't even know was pent up inside until your little episode earlier in the day. But then there’s Brian. You know he would bring so much more to your world, but he was just so seemingly unattainable – which made him even more attractive to you.

You convinced yourself that it was nothing more than choosing between the sprint or the marathon. The only thing that you were absolutely certain of was that you had to tread carefully. You’d never been able to forgive yourself if you came in between friends. When you’d talk about this internal conundrum of yours with Freddie, all he would tell you was that it was your decision and that he couldn’t make up your mind for you. He knew who he would rather see you with, and you knew who as well, but it just wasn’t happening, for whatever reason.

You stayed quiet most of the dinner, listening to the three guys talk about the band mostly. You’d smile and laugh and nod along with their conversation, pretending to pay attention to most of it when your mind was preoccupied.

The most you spoke was to nag them about letting you hear them play, and they promised you’d be the first person to hear them as soon as they found their new bass player. You had heard Freddie sing many times. You were completely entranced by his voice and would often ask him to play a song on the piano and sing to you, to which he would happily oblige. You’d hear Brian sometimes singing and playing his guitar from the other side of the apartment wall but wouldn't dare let him know, given how he was easily embarrassed. He had absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about, but you didn't want to risk it.

Your group was interrupted by a tiny redhead who ventured over to the table. She was cute, lightly freckled with green eyes. "Hey, Roger," she screeched when she spoke. You find her voice incredibly annoying, and her personality is way too bubbly for your liking. You, Brian, and Freddie all turn to Roger who is looking quite shocked.

"Oh, hey… you. How are you?" He doesn't remember her name and is struggling to not let it show.

"Are you coming to The Troubadour tonight? A friend's band is playing. I'd love to see you again." She flirtatiously bats her eyes and smiles a flashy smile in his direction, completely ignoring the fact that he is sitting at a table, in the middle of dinner, with three other people. You don't know if you want to shoo the girl away or if you are enjoying watching Roger squirm.

"Oh, well, umm, you see..." He doesn’t know what to say. He’s still trying to remember her name.

You decide right then and there that squirmy Roger was entertaining. You always found it funny when the usually quick-witted guy was left speechless. So, you decide to play your own little game and ask the redhead, "what kind of band are they?"

It seems like she just realized there were more people in the room, and she skittishly answers, "rock and roll, of course. Roger wouldn't enjoy anything else. That's why I'm inviting him."

"We were going to head to The 606 after we finished here..." he hastily states before you cut him off.

"Oh, Roger, we can go there any time. How many chances will we get to hear your friend's band?" You pat him on the shoulder.

"Not my band. My friend's band," she snaps at you while rolling her eyes.

"That’s what I meant…” You try to explain, but she’s not even paying you attention. Her eyes are fixated on Roger. You look over at Freddie. He knows exactly what’s going on and shrugs with his hands letting you know he’s okay with going. You then look to Brian who had covered mouth to hide his smile as he nods that he’s also okay with going. Then you look at Roger, who has a look of absolute betrayal on his face. You put your right hand on his thigh, underneath the table so no one could see, and give him a gentle squeeze as you look him in the eye. "So, what do you think?"

He gulped, wondering why you’re doing this. "Whatever you want," he answers quietly.

You turn back to face the redhead. "What's your name, sweetie?"

Roger leans into your ear and begs you, “please, Y/N, don’t…” Freddie and Brian try not to make noise when they start to chuckle. You ignore them all.

"I'm Lyla. Nice to meet you....?"

"I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you, Lyla. Have you met these two?" pointing to Freddie and Brian.

"Oh, yes, I met them..."

Roger clears his throat and interrupts. "Yeah, she's met them. Lyla, we're going to finish our dinner and we'll see you later. Alright?"

“Would you like to sit with us, Lyla?” You wave your hand for everyone to scoot over to make room for her at the table. She happily takes a seat next to Brian, her face beaming as she stares at Roger. Freddie keeps looking around and fiddling with his napkin. Brian is doing his best to control his amusement, but failing miserably. You pat Roger on his thigh as you clear your throat.

“So, Lyla, how’s it you know these guys?”

“Well, I met Roger after one of their shows a while back…”

“She’s his biggest fan,” Brian says with a chuckle.

“Yeah, she thinks he’s just spectacular,” Freddie pipes up, clearly making a joke you aren’t keen to. .

“No, Fred,” Brian corrects him. “Impressive.” He and Freddie are obviously more amused by all of this than you are.

“Alright, alright, I think she gets it.” You look at Roger and he’s still squirming in his seat, silently pleading with you to stop. You, of course, cannot.

You look back to Lyla, who how has her chin resting in her hands, still looking at Roger. “I haven’t experienced Roger’s drumming. Is he really that good?” you ask her, quite suggestively, but she doesn’t pick up on the innuendo.

Roger grits his teeth and leans over to whisper in your ear. “What are you doing? Stop it.”

“Oh, yeah, he’s really good.”

Brian chokes on the water he’s trying to drink. “Impressive.”

“Spectacular,” Freddie chimes in.

“Hmm.” You look back at Roger. “Really. That good, huh?” You smirk and this time he smirks back.

“Roger?” Lyla tries to get his attention, completely oblivious to the looks the two of you are sharing. “So, you’re coming tonight?”

“Yeah, yeah…” he replies, never taking his eyes off of you.

Freddie throws his napkin on the table and takes the last sip of his wine. “We’re all done here?”

“I think we are,” you say, still smirking at Roger before you look back at everyone else. “Shall we pay the bill and go?” Everyone agrees.

As you are walking in a group to the next stop of the evening, Roger pulls you back behind the group.

“Impressive, huh? Spectacular?” You joke.

He leans down to talk to you so no one else will hear. “The last time I saw her it took me three days to get rid of her, Y/N.”

“Then I guess she’ll be easy for you to get.” You give him a wink and a nudge on his arm.

“Maybe I don’t want to get her,” he whispers in an aggressive tone.

“Calm down, tiger,” you chuckle. “You need to get someone or you’re going to hurt yourself.” You make sure he follows your eyes down to his crotch so he knows that you notice what’s going on under his pants. You leave him with a smirk, joining Freddie and Brian for the rest of the walk.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

"They have a good sound." Freddie nudged Brian as he pointed to the stage. "I wonder if they're serious about all of this, because if they are, they'll need better lyrics." He walked off with a laugh and headed to the bar.

It was the truth. The tunes had a descent vibe but the lyrics were absolutely terrible. Every line made you cringe. The guys seemed to be enjoying the sound and were either not paying attention to the lyrics, with the exception of Freddie, or they were more focused on the sounds and the beats coming through the speakers.

You lean over to Lyla to ask her more about the band. "Do these guys play much?"

"Not really. They just like having fun with it. Gives them something to do with their spare time." She chuckled. "It does help them get laid. Do you know how many girls will do anything to be with a guy in a band?" Lyla winked before she continued. "Especially if he's a drummer."

You give Lyla a blank smile as you watch her start move her body against Roger. "I have a feeling there's a lot of them," you mumble.

Roger didn't seem to mind the attention he was getting. Of course, the amount of alcohol he had consumed up to this point may have caused him to forget all about the annoyance he felt about Lyla earlier at dinner, and the moment the two of you shared earlier.

You quickly turn your attention over to Brian, not wanting to watch the public display going on between the two over to the other side. You watch his head bobbing to the beat, with his mind intently focused on what he was hearing. He must have felt you looking at him, because he looked down to you and a warm smile came across his face. "That bass player needs a better band," he told you, and it was like a lightbulb went on in his head.

"Roger! Come on!" He grabbed Roger by the arm and pulled him away. "We need to find Freddie!" As the two walked over to the bar and started chatting with their friend, Lyla leaned up against you, pouting.

"Is he going to come back?" The stench of whatever she was drinking almost knocked you for a loop.

Rolling your eyes, you give Lyla's head a pat. "Don't worry. You'll get him back." They better not leave me with this girl for the rest of the night, you mumble to yourself.

After the band's set was complete and most of the patrons had left, you were sitting on one of the torn and ratty sofas at the back of the room with Lyla. She was leaning on you, drunk rambling about Roger and how much she hoped he would take her home tonight. Becoming increasingly frustrated, you start staring down Brian and Freddie, hoping they’ll sense your annoyance and leave. They, along with Roger, were in a deep conversation with the band's bass player, and soon they all shook hands with him and turned around to see you and Lyla at the back of the room.

"Up you go. Roger's waiting for you." You didn't know if he really was, but she became his problem once he started handing her shots. You lift a beaming Lyla from the sofa and guide her in the proper direction. "Go on. He's right in front of you."

After seeing the two lovebirds, or whatever they were, reunited, you walk over to Freddie and Brian. "Oh, young love. Isn't it..."

"Disgusting. It's disgusting, Freddie," you pop back. "She's disgusting." The guys laugh hysterically. "Did you ever hear about the time she sucked his dick in the shower? With graphic details?" They cringe. "No? Well I have."

Freddie rubs on the top of your head. "Well what do you know. Princess here is a prude." You knock his arm away.

"No, I am NOT a prude, but if I want to know how it feels to deep throat, I'll do it myself to find out!" Brian took a hard gulp and Freddie howled with laughter.

"Hey, what's so funny? What am I missing out on?" Roger comes stumbling over with Lyla wrapped around the shoulders in his arm.

“Y/N was just telling us about de…” Freddie tried to answer."

"Fuck off, Freddie!" you snap. Brian is standing next to you with his hand grabbing the back of his neck. "Are we leaving or staying here until they kick us out?"

The group assembles to start the walk home as Freddie bids you all a goodbye. "I've got someone to go see. I'll see you all later." He leans over and whispers to you, "it's my friend from the college." He winks and kisses you on the cheek before walking away.

On the walk home, you and Brian walk behind Roger and Lyla, part in order to make sure they didn't fall on their asses, part in order to make sure the two of you could hold a conversation without the other two butting in.

The night air was giving you the chills, and Brian, noticing you started walking with your arms crossed, took off his jacket and draped it around your shoulders. "So, we'll be auditioning that bass player tomorrow afternoon," he tells you as he covers you with the jacket. "He seemed pretty excited. He's seen some of our shows and feels like he could fit right in."

"Oh yeah? That's great! He was really good up there tonight.” You start to bite the left corner of your bottom lip. Neither one of you know what to talk about. Usually your conversations flowed, but tonight it’s struggling for some reason. You don’t want to blurt out something stupid, so you try staying quiet to see if he would talk, but he doesn’t. You had never been at a loss for words with anyone before, but for some reason, he makes you… nervous.

“You know… I hear you playing sometimes." You cringed as the words left your mouth, because the last thing you wanted to to was embarrass him into even more silence.

Brian stutters, "You... you do?"

"Yeah, through the wall.” Jesus, you sound like a stalker, Y/N, you tell yourself. “I can't make out everything, but the things I do hear sound really good."

The smile on his face lets you know that he’s not embarrassed at all. If anything, he’s quite proud of himself. "I could always play you something when we get home… maybe… if you want me to."

"I'd really like that." You wrap your arm in his. You don’t know why you did that, but it felt nice, and he doesn't seem to mind.

After a few minutes, you look up at Brian and tease him, because he’s adorable when he gets embarrassed, and it happens so easily. "So, is this a date now? We had dinner together at a fancy restaurant. We had some drinks. You gave me your jacket and now you're walking me home," you joked. "Yeah, I think this is a date." He freed the hand that was attached to his free arm from his pocket and grabbed the back of his neck while an embarrassed smile came to his face. "Oh, silly, stop that. I'm just picking on you," you say to him as you tap him on his chest.

"Stop what?" he laughs, not realizing what he’s doing.

"You get embarrassed so easy. It's cute,” you say with a nervous giggle.

"I am not embarrassed." He tries to protest, but you know better.

"Yes, you are. You grab the back of your neck every time you get embarrassed."

"Oh, you mean like how you smile and bite the left corner of your bottom lip when you get embarrassed?"

You nudge him and he pretends to stumble. "Yeah, something like that.”

"Home at last!" Roger yells, snapping the two of you out of your haze. "Come on, girl," he commanded Lyla as he slapped her butt. She laughs loudly and runs up the steps.

Brian takes a deep breath as he watched Roger chasing after the redhead. "It's going to be a long, long night."

"Nah. Let's go get your guitar and come play me one of your songs." You jokingly slap Brian on his butt. "Come on, boy." You mimic Lyla's laugh and run up the steps and turn to look at Brian, who’s just standing there, shell-shocked. "Well?" You cross your arms and start tapping one of your feet. "Are you just going to stand there all night?" He shakes his head and laughs before following you.

[Keep going to Part 2]

[happymetalgirl]

Tool - Fear Inoculum

I didn’t actually intend to review the long-awaited fifth Tool album so long after its release, time and life got in the way of things, but I’m kind of glad in a way that I’m talking about it now after all the inevitable and ridiculous hysteria surrounding it has mellowed out, which is (spoiler) kind of a sign of the album’s relative quality next to the band’s other four records in and of itself. And, while now I get to talk about it without the confounding noise of the loud clamoring on about it, I don’t really think my words would have really been too different a month and a half ago than they are now.

Tool are a band, of course, who need no introduction; their cerebral brand of progressive alternative metal has become signature and iconic, and their four albums from 1993 to 2006 that preceded this one have served as an influence, if not a lofty aspiration, for thousands of artists since then. Like any self-respecting Tool fan, I consider Lateralus and Ænima to be roughly neck and neck at the top for my favorite spot in the band’s discography (the joint “Parabol” and “Parabola” together being my personal favorite Tool song). Those two albums show the quick crystallization of the band’s progressive metal psychedelia from their rougher, grungier beginnings earlier in the 1990′s. Though I do hold a lot of respect for how accomplished of a debut statement Undertow was, and how much ground it laid for the two albums to come. And even Opiate served as a strong prequel EP to that album. The band’s fourth album, 10,000 Days, however, took a perplexing turn from the heady, yet still metallic prog hallucinations the band had worked up to, and into more drawn-out, spacey experimentation, which I’d say haven’t really aged into anything and sound about as unnecessarily dilute and jam-band-ish as the day the album released in 2006. The album had its high points like the thundering bass of “Vicarious” and “Jambi” and the alternative metal oddity of “The Pot”, but it’s a largely tiresome and less rewarding listen than its predecessors. And that was the last we heard of Tool for thirteen years.

The tremendous wait for the album of course drummed up a lot of speculation of what it would sound like in relation to their previous works. Would it be a return to the beloved progressive metal of  Ænima and Lateralus? Would it be a culmination of all their sounds in retrospect into one gargantuan crowd-pleaser? Or would it be something totally new for the band. Not to toot my own horn, (and not like I can prove this anyway), but I had this hunch that this album would probably be just a delayed continuation of what the band were doing on 10,000 Days, and, while there is the occasional reinvigoration of their sound with some stylistic callbacks to their middle two records prior, lo and behold, as much as I wish I didn’t, for the most part I guessed right.

Coinciding with the band’s acceptance of the times and the advent of streaming with their release of their catalog onto digital platforms, Fear Inoculum was released as a single-disc CD and as a longer, digital version, with three extra instrumental interludes sprinkled throughout the track listing stretching it past the limits of the CD format to nearly eighty-seven minutes, and it sure feels like the hour-and-a-half-long listen that it is, and not in a flattering way. Like I said, the album is largely a continuation of the atmosphere-focused prog of 10,000 Days, which is only somewhat updated from the band’s 2006 effort. The main songs are all over ten minutes long, and the similarly low energy across the marathon track list doesn’t really make a great case for this direction in contrast to what the band have shown themselves to be great at, namely vibrant, untethered prog adventurousness.

The opening title track layers together plenty of diverse tom percussion and the band’s recognizable guitar reverb into a slowly growing and whirlpool (kind of like the album cover) of Tool’s 10,000 Days sonic pallet that gradually cascades into a thicker, distortion-fuzz-driven finish. The abstract, cryptic lyricism about shedding the influence of manipulative fear mongering is more cryptic than poetic, but I can see the vagueness of the subject being a good way to make it widely and appropriately applicable in its commentary and play into the paranoia of refusing to acknowledge exactly what this deceiver is. As a tension-builder, it’s a great way to start the album off, but it doesn’t really seal the pay-off as the heavy bass line tries to usher in a climax while the other instrumentalists mostly just coast on forward to the end of the song like a tired distance runner giving a bit of a burst to finish the last stretch. And that’s one of the shorter tracks, with over an hour left to go.

The second song, “Pneuma”, is structurally not too dissimilar, with a synthy bridge this time connecting the meditative tom-drum/reverb-guitar build-up to a relatively hum-drum metallic non-finale. It really only marginally feels like it’s that kind of progressively building song, clearly being more focused on its meditative ambiance than its intentional trajectory. In which case, I would have honestly probably preferred the band taking that approach more holistically, rather than trying to fit it into a prog metal formula. Lyrically, the song centers around a lot of transcendentalism that Tool have written about before, not really adding much new beyond perhaps a slightly different angle to meditate on it from. The song is followed by the first of the instrumental interlude tracks, “Litanie contre la peur”, which plays around with a melodically manipulated vocal inflection over some humming ambiance for about two minutes.

The third big piece on the album, “Invincible”, which finally plays a little more to the band’s progressive strengths. The guitar groove is actually allowed to drive the song and shine in a more energetic manner as Danny Carey gets to get a lot more bombastic behind the kit, as do the rest of the band during the instrumental sections throughout the song. It’s not only a more metallically groove-driven song whose heavier elements are actually used to cultivate a sense of meditation from a much more signature angle, but also a more interestingly progressive song that does more than just slowly swell up to a mild crescendo for ten minutes. The worries of the song’s warrior speaker are pretty transparently transposeable to the worry and struggles any aging artist (especially a long-absent artist like... Tool, maybe) to maintain their importance and the meaningfulness of their work.

The ominous bass hum of the second interlude track, “Legion Inoculant”, leads into the fourth of the album’s main epic songs, which keep getting longer and longer with the thirteen-and-a-half-minute environmental apocalypse warning “Descending”, which pleas for an end to the apathy that exacerbates the compounding climate crisis. Musically, the song plays into the somber melancholy of the lyrics, while taking a more balanced approach between the spaciness of the band’s last album and the heavier elements of Ænima in particular, perhaps intended given the similarity of that album’s title track’s subject matter. While some of the later sections feel a bit over-indulgent, this song deserves its length as it cascades through emotive defeatism via progressive metal ebbs and flows into this impending metallic crescendo that actually fits nicely with the melancholic rock build-up and the lyrical implications; it sounds like its tracking the collapse of , much like the title track of Ænima., starting and finishing with the sound of waves upon the shore that will continue to crash, just as they did before our takeover of the land, after our demise.

While the lyrical concept revolving around self-doubt and  of “Culling Voices”, is fascinating and all too tangible, the music falls more on the mild side again, with the band’s softer, more meditative atmosphere crashing just twice into explosive, but unimpressive climaxes of muscular, but not too creative, guitar riffing. The longest of the interludes, the wind-chime-laden and effects-doused electronic pulsing of “Chocolate Chip Trip”, features a tasty little drum solo to kind of make up for the lack of spotlight Carey gets on this album as he does so much of the rhythmic legwork, which I certainly appeciate and welcome.

The closing epic, “7empest” was the song fans were fawning over the most as a monstrous riff-fest after the album was finally released, and the riffing across the song’s almost sixteen minutes, as well as the repeating of the lyrical mantra, do capture some Ænima vibes, which makes sense knowing it was pieced together with motifs written during that era. The song’s lyrics once again call back to that breakthrough album with the repetition of the mantra “A tempest must be just that” in reference to the convenient muddying of the waters of responsibility for disasters caused by said chaos once it arises. It’s a song about those in power managing to use the chaos they create through their mismanagement to hide their guilt and just divert the blame on the chaos itself. The song is proggy in Tool fans’ favorite way and indeed dense with churning effects-laden riffage and a faster, much more aggressive vocal performance from Maynard James Keenan. While it is the longest, heaviest, and most vintage-Tool of the tracks here, I’d say it only stands a bit above the rest of the track list, and honestly maybe not surpassing the magnificent “Descending”.

The digital version wraps up with the odd, but disposable coda of the two-minute chirping sample manipulation of “Mockingbeat”, a strange note to end this version of the album on, but ultimately nothing destructive.

I had talked about Rammstein’s self-titled album and Slipknot’s We Are Not Your Kind as being among the year’s biggest of the biggest metal releases, but the long-awaited arrival of Fear Inoculum tops them both. Yet for all the drama building up around this album, all the hype that was inevitably going to hoist hopes and expectations to astronomical and similarly inevitably unrealistic levels, Fear Inoculum sits average at best, if not rather low in the band’s small catalog, and the rather quick hushing of this hype from fans and the metal sphere in general shows that I’m not alone in my relative underwhelmedness after the thirteen-year wait. While that sounds harsh, it is just because this album had such incredibly high expectations to live up to that it was most likely never going to meet. Fear Inoculum isn’t a terrible album by any means, but it does suffer from being drawn out the most by its weakest elements, its least creative ideas stretching it out in hopes of finding purpose for doing so, but coming back empty-handed. A little while after the album came out, Maynard made some kind of comment about this album being great eight years ago, which suggested that it had been in the works for a long time but perhaps held up by frivolous reasons, but also that it was composed largely near the time of 10,000 Days, as I thought it might have been, and it just kind of bugged me that this album probably didn’t need to be the huge prodigal event it was, maybe just an acceptable transitional moment for Tool to figure out what they wanted to do with their expanding sound arsenal. Instead we got arrested development dressed up as a comeback at a time when we might otherwise have one or two more albums from this band (by their releasing pace), possibly more accomplished. I had mentioned in my review of Opeth’s newest album that they deserved the patience with their prog rock transition, and that album showed it. It took four albums to get a record that could stand tall alongside their progressive death metal classics, but it came, and the journey did come with some good highlights along the way too. The journey to this album was a test of patience with clumsy publicity for several years more than anything else, not quite as rewarding, no music to offer along the way (aside from side projects), and still a sense of a band just picking up where they left off years ago without really assessing their direction. I’m glad Fear Inoculum is finally here, but I think others will share this sentiment with me even if they haven’t said it to themselves out loud. Yes, we got a few strong highlights out of this record, but I’m more relieved that the fiasco surrounding the wait is over than I am excited to have this batch of new songs (the latter of which I wish outweighed the former).

6/10

[holdmekhh]

You’re Like Music To My Ears (Beat Partner!Raesung)

Artist/Person: Choi Raesung

Group/Crew: YG Trainnee/F’Club(Funny Friends)

Genre: Angst(?a little)/Major Fluff

Word Count: 10K

A sigh broke from her as she stared at the computer screen. She had tons to review and rearrange before uploading, yet she couldn’t bring herself to do it. It had been exactly 13 hours since she’d spoken to her partner, having texted a couple of words back and forth about the song. They’d merely stated that they were busy. With what? She didn’t know. She didn’t know a lot of things; like what her partner looked like, if they were a guy or girl, if they lived close by. All she knew was that their name was Raesung and that they were both 18. She also knew that they had a significantly busy life compared to her, always to busy to text. Always doing something that required not being allowed to touch their phone, for hours. They didn’t even have an Instagram. Who doesn’t have an Instagram in this day and age?! Another sound left her, something familiar of a grunt. Her face had ended up pressed against her overly large desk, hands pressed spread out and flat on either side of her head. “I don’t even know if they want to sing in this one…” Another muffled groan fell from her lips as she rolled her face against the wooden surface of the desk. ‘ping’ Her head flew up at the sound of a new text, pushing herself to the other side of the room with rolling chair and spinning to grab her phone.

1 New Text Message From: Raesung

Raesung: nah, I won’t. maybe the next time. have to go back. talk later. (22:07)

Nodding at the text, she just sat it back down on the shelf and pushed herself back to her desk, spinning around to face the multiple screens that sat on it. The one in the middle was open to her editor, the beat sitting open; waiting to be handled with the utmost care. “Time to get to work.” Pushing her glasses up her nose, she took the large headphones and placed them on, hitting play and letting the music take her away.

By the time she looked away from the screen, her eyes were burning from the overly bright lights glaring at her focused eyes for however long she’d been glaring back in the dark, purple illuminated room. Glancing down to the corner of the screen, eyeing the time; 03:30AM. A sigh left her lips as she stretched and pulled the headphones off. Her mom would kill her if she knew that she’d been up this whole time, working on music. “I don’t care what you do, as long as you get your sleep and keep those damned grades of yours up. But, I will NOT tolerate any child who’s below the best, especially if it’s my own.” Her mother had hissed at her one night at dinner; her report card had come in and she’d placed a B- in one of her classes. Her mother went on and on about how it was because she was focusing too much on music, staying cooped up in her makeshift studio all night long, instead of studying and sleeping. Saving the beat and its updates before sending it back to her partner, she put her computer to sleep and stood. Grabbing her phone as she exited the room, she was met with a dark house. The only light that shown through the whole house was the dim, flashing lights from the television that was playing from the living room. As she walked by, she found her older and younger brothers fast asleep on the oversized couches. She stayed as quiet as possible while climbing the stairs and making her way to her room. When she got there, she flicked on the light and silently shut her door and made her way to her closet to get out her school uniform out. Changing out of her casual clothes and into pajamas, she flopped down on her bed with a heavy huff. Grabbing her phone, she quickly thumbed in a text before sending it.

Y/N to Raesung: sent. let me know if you like the updates… (03:38)

~

Her eyes were casted downwards as she stared at her closed notebook, her glasses were sitting low on her nose and her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail. It was break time, just after gym class, and she was tired. Like, really tired. But, she wouldn’t let herself fall asleep, lord knows what these kids would do to her if she fell asleep. They didn’t like her all that much, no one really did at this school. All her friends went to other schools, meeting up whenever they could to work on music and homework. The kids here didn’t know about anything that she did outside of school, and for that she was thankful. They didn’t know about the support and following that she shared with someone else on the internet. They didn’t know that the beats and songs that they listened to on a daily was something made by her; the girl that they ostracized and picked at like birds with crumbs.

When the day was over, and she walked out of the school’s doors, hands stuffed into her coat pockets as they gripped tightly onto small heating pouches, she’d passed her brothers without so much as a glance. They were no different than the other kids, poking and teasing at her.

           His face was pulled into a smile as he nodded to the beat emitting through the speakers and through the studio. “This is your friends work?” Hanbin nodded, leaning forward to look at look at the email name. “Yeah, kind of. We make music together and she posts it on SoundCloud.” “She’s super talented…like I kinda wanna work with her.” Hanbin continued, Bobby and the others agreeing in the background. “Yeah, she gets everything done quick, too. Songs, two or three sometimes, get sent to me in a day. She seems to want my confirmation for most things, but the products are usually perfect enough to just post. Sometimes she even sings, and her voice is… just listen to this one.” He smiled softly, going to their SoundCloud and clicking on one of his favorites, ‘Abyss’. The tune, soft and melodic, started to fill the room in a dreamy kind of way. Then a voice, just as soft and melodic followed it in a gentle sway. It was so gentle, her voice, that it made him want to shut his eyes and just drift off into oblivion. “You’ve got a talented partner there, Raesungie.” Hanbin smiled, patting the young male on the back. “Have you guys ever met up to work? I think you guys would vibe together so much better if you were next to one another.” Raesung shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. “No…I haven’t really mentioned much to her. And, we don’t talk all that much. I’m usually busy with you guys or practicing, and she has her own life to deal with. The only reason I even know she’s a girl is because of her voice in songs.” “Jeez, Rae. You guys need to talk more, seriously.” Seung stated from the couch behind him, making him chuckle. As the song faded out, another one faded in. This one was a more hyped up, the bass harsher and bumping against the speakers aggressively. “This is a collab she’d done with a couple of friends. She’d told me that this was the only time they ever did, but I think they should do it again.” A raspy voice broke through then, rapping sharply and on beat. “Jesus…” Bobby got up, moving over to look over Raesung’s shoulder to look at the screen. His head was nodding, body moving with the song, when a second voice came in. This voice was less raspy and slightly deeper, yet just as sharp and on beat. When the beat started to fade out, laughs faded through. “Seriously, fuck…you’re a fucking god with beats, dude.” A soft, female laugh broke through then. “Oh, be quiet, you guys fucking killed it.” More laughs broke out before they faded out completely, and then another beat started. “You need to meet up with this friend of yours, Raesung. Or I will.” Jaewon finally spoke up, causing the others to laugh.

~

Raesung to Y/N: its good. I’ll post it as soon as I get the chance. (12:45pm)

He stepped into the practice room and smiled at the others, running his hands through his hair messily. “How’s your hot sounding beat making partner? You talk to her today?” Noah laughed as soon as Raesung was close enough. “We don’t talk much…just about the beats.” “Still?!” Noah stopped stretching and looked at his friend. “Bro, you guys have been working together for what? A year?” “A year and 3 months.” Raesung corrected, glancing at his exasperated friend while he stretched. “And yet you stilled haven’t tried to start a conversation on something other than how strong the bass should be.” The look of disappointment on his friends’ face made Raesung laugh. “Laugh all you want, you’re a hopeless cause, bro.” “Dude, she doesn’t even know what I look like! Or sound like!” “Exactly-wait, seriously?” Raesung had never someone look so shocked before. “What’s up with him?” Hyunsuk chuckled as he and Byunggon walked over to the small group of stretching boys. “Hyung and his ‘hot sounding’ beat making partner.” Yedam stated, chuckling as he stared at Noah. “Oh! Y/N, right?” Hyunsuk looked to Raesung, who merely nodded. “Woah-you know her name? When did this happen?” “Since we first got introduced, you bonehead.” Raesung laughed, straightening as their choreographer walked in.

~

He’d just posted the song, starting on another one and editing one that he and his hyungs made. It was late; the clock reading 2:09am from the small corner at the bottom right side of his computer. Rubbing his eyes and running a hand through his hair, he grabbed his phone.

Raesung to Y/N: just posted. (2:10am)

Then, he sighed. Maybe everyone was right, about him and Y/N. It had been over a year since they started working together and they never spoke about anything other than their beats; except when they first were introduced. They had never even met! Or know what the other looks like! Now, of course, Y/N had asked a few questions, wanting to know him more, but he was so busy, and usually super tired, that he just gave dry responses. She’d tried, and he didn’t care enough to be thoughtful towards her. Now it was his turn, to try and get to know her. So, he took a deep breath and thumbed in a text and sent it before he could back out.

Raesung to Y/N: what’s your plans for this weekend? (2:13am)

           She was staring at her phone with wide eyes. She’d never expected for Raesung to ask about anything other than music so, seeing the text was shocking. Especially for it to have been the first thing she saw in the morning. It was Saturday, which meant she was completely free from school. Which meant, she was most likely going to meet up with her friends.

Y/N to Raesung: glad you liked the song. and, probably going to hang out with my friends or something. what about you? (10:15)

She climbed out of bed, quickly making it before gathering an outfit for the day and rushing off to the bathroom. Showering, cleaning her face, and mouth, and doing her hair had taken slightly longer than it did during the week. Mostly because, she didn’t care how she looked when she went to school. During the weekends, when she was actually going out to meet people, she wanted to look nice. During the weekends, she was…different. When she left the bathroom, she was dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and a simply white t-shirt tucked into them. She passed by her older brother, bouncing with each step. When she got to her room, the first thing she did was check her phone. She didn’t know why. It wasn’t like she was expecting a reply of Raesung so fast. But, just like this morning; she was surprised. They’d messaged her back, nearly 20 minutes after she’d replied to them.

Raesung: really? thats cool. do you maybe have Instagram? I have a private one if you wanna follow each other? (10:27)

Instagram? They have one after all?! She chuckled softly, staring at the screen. This was random for them to do…maybe it was one of their friends? Not the first time someone did that, texting her and making her think that they wanted to be friends, only to find out that it was to mess with her. Or, maybe they really wanted to get to know her and be friends? That’s likely, too.

Y/N to Raesung: yeah that’s cool. mines private too. it’s @y/ndoesntlivehere just tell me yours and ill accept it. (11:45)

The ‘read’ sign was almost immediate, along with the three dots. She quickly exited out of the app as fast as she could and dropped it to her bed. Just in time, too, because as soon as the device hit the mattress, the familiar ‘ping’ sounded. “Oh my, oh my…” She panicked, running a hand through her freshly straightened hair. She grabbed her phone, looking at the username they’d sent her, just as she got an Instagram notification. Opening Instagram, I went to my follow requests. There was a couple dozen, but she ignored those, immediately going to Raesungs and hitting ‘accept’ and then going to theirs and hitting ‘follow’. Locking her phone, she dropped it to her bed, before going over to her makeshift vanity, switching out her glasses for contacts, and started her makeup. She never went too heavy on anything, keeping it as toned down as she could while accentuating what should be; bronzing the outer part of the face and hollows of the cheeks, using highlight on the cheekbones and browbones, and nose. When she was done, she went over and slipped on a thin, oversized turtleneck. Putting on her simple, black leather jacket, she grabbed her tote and put her essentials inside; laptop, chargers, wallet, and house keys. Slipping her phone in her back pocket, she left out her room and skipped down the stairs. Her ankle boots were where she left them, and she slipped them on. “I’m going out!” She called into the house, not waiting for a response before she was out and on her way to her favorite café across town.

The heels of her boots clicked against the pavement, towards the bus stop. She pulled her phone out and smiled softly.

1 New Text Message From: Raesung

Opening the message, I wasn’t expecting anything serious. Or anything, really. But, I really wasn’t expecting what I did get.

           He stared at her pictures with wide eyes. Taking in every visible small square from her feed. “Woah…” He heard from behind him, and he nodded. He nodded because ‘woah’ was right. It was the only way to describe the girl that he was looking at. Was this really Y/N? Was this really the girl he’d been speaking to over the past year and 3 months? “Bro, who is that?” He heard Hyunsuk mutter from over his shoulder, Noah resting on the other, and the others were hovering above and around them. “Y/N…” “Beat partner?” He nodded again. Byunggon took it upon himself to tap on one of the posts. There were multiples in the post, first were pictures of her, then her and friends, then a video of them in a dance studio. When the video loaded and started playing, you could hear voices from the rowdy group. But then came her laugh, that pretty and delicate laugh from that song that she’d done with her friends. “Give me some soul, sister!” He heard one of the guys call out to her, then she’d started belting out notes left and right to the tune playing faintly in the back. “Hot, talented, beat partner.” They’d all nodded, before looking to each other. The video was still going, Raesungs eyes glued to it. To her. Then her voice broke, she and her friends broke into fits of laughter. “I was doing so good, too! Fuck!” Her smile was bright, eyes shutting as she laughed. And before he could even think about what he was doing, he accepted her request and texted her.

Raesung to Y/N: youre really pretty. (12:30pm)

“Oh my god!” He dropped his phone and stood, walking over and pressing his face against the wall. “What?!” “I told her she’s pretty…” He grumbled, turning to press his back against the wall and sliding down. A few minutes went by, the practice room completely silent. Until- “She’s replying!” Noah shouted, making Raesung scramble to get back to his phone. Her reply had just popped up when he got to it. He could feel his ears turning red, because they burned like hell.

Y/N: lol thanks. youre pretty cute too. (12:35pm)

The yells that filled the room was shocking, then there was a yell of, “I’m asking her to coffee for you!” But, he couldn’t tell who’d said it. It was quiet again for a minute or so, and then a whole new round of yells started. Yedam handed Raesung his phone back, and then his whole face went red.

Raesung to Y/N: wanna meet? coffee shop tomorrow? (12:36pm)

Y/N: lol sure. itd be cool to finally meet my genius partner. (12:38pm)

He didn’t know if he wanted to kill or hug his friends. But, what he did know, was that he wanted to sit in the corner alone for a little while. To let his itty bitty heart calm the hell down.

           She was freaking out; her friends could tell immediately when she’d walked into the dance studio. They were supposed to meet there and head out to one of the others houses- they’d just moved out, into their own apartment, and wanted to show it off- but the way that she trudged in with wide eyes, they knew the tea had to be spilled immediately. “Oh my god, what happened?” One of the girls, Arora, asked as she rushed to Y/N’s side. “Dude are you okay?” Another friend, Eli, laughed softly as she nodded. “Spoke to Raesung.” “Oh shit, did they not wanna work with you anymore?” Eli asked, pushing off the wall that he was leaning against. She shook her head, running a hand through her hair. “We shared Instagram’s. We saw each other.” Her eyes closed, “I saw him..” “A him?! Oh my god, I told you it was a guy, a girl couldn’t be so indifferent!” Arora squealed, the others laughing at her. “Anything else?” “We’re meeting tomorrow, for coffee…” The room went completely silent, before another squeal broke through from Arora, and a few of the other girls.

They were at the apartment now, huddled on the couch and eating take out, reading the messages from Raesung. “Wait, can we see him?!” “I don’t care. But, don’t go following him on Instagram. You saw what he said about not really wanting people to follow him.” “Yeah, unless they’re Y/N.” She rolled her eyes at Chan- this was his apartment and couch, she couldn’t be snarky when he’d allowed her to fill his new apartment with her presence. It was somewhat quiet, until soft gasps left a couple of their mouths. “Dude…your part-” “Your partner’s hot.” Arora and Eli said at the same time, making everyone laugh.

~

She was back home, locked away in her studio. There was a bag of take out on one of her shelves near the desk, and she was sure that it was cold by now. As soon as she got to her studio, she went to her email and got the beat that Raesung texted her about when she was on her way home:

Raesung: hey. just sent you a beat I worked on today. tell me if you want to do vocals on it. (20:40)

The beat was just her style, chill and melodic. It’s what she usually sung over, choosing to not experiment too much with her voice.

Y/N to Raesung: yeah I can. its just my style(: (21:30)

Standing from her seat, she grabbed her takeout and left to the kitchen. She sat on the counter and waited for her food to heat in the microwave, legs swinging as she hummed a tune to herself. When it was done, she hopped down and grabbed her food from the machine and made her way back into her studio. “What are you doing in here?” She grunted as she found her older brother and his friend sitting on her couch. “Nothing, just bored. What are you doing in here?” Her brothers friend answered, looking around the room. “It’s my studio…” She rose an eyebrow at him, then glanced to her brother. “We didn’t touch anything, don’t worry. Just wanted to see you in your zone.” Her eyes narrowed at him, staring in confusion. Then, she let out a sigh and shrugged. “Whatever. Just…just don’t touch anything. Or talk to anyone else about this. My friends would kill me if they found out that I let my brother and his friend come in when I rarely let them.” She sat down at her desk and opened her food. “Can we hear what you have open?” “Oh, this is my partners.” She unplugged the headphones and attached the speakers before hitting play. The beat slowly filled the room as she ate, her mind swarming with lyric ideas. “Oh yeah, your friend texted you.” She heard her brother say, making her drop her fork and push away from her desk, spinning around to grab her phone.

Raesung: cool. I have lyrics and stuff written that might go well with it if youre interested in them. (21:35)

Nodding, she took her phone off of its charger and pushed back to her desk. Spinning back to face the monitor, she thumbed in a text:

Y/N to Raesung: yeah I’m down for the lyrics. just send them to me and ill get it recorded by tonight. (21:45)

“Who’s that? I’ve never met a friend of yours with that name.” Her brother asked as the beat faded out. “Beat partner.” “The one who did this?” His friend asked, looking around the room again. The overhead light was on this time, to see while she ate, so everything was visible. “Bro, this is so cool.” She heard him mutter, making her chuckle. “You guys never been to a studio? I thought you rapped.” The tease in her voice was something that was detected easily, making her brother roll his eyes. “Yeah, but they never looked like this. And our beats never sounded like that either.” His friend grinned, eyes widening when he looked above her monitors and to her LED sign. “Wait…you’re ‘yunglameboi’! Woah!” She cringed at him, side eyeing him. “Yeah…” She muttered softly, turning to look at her brother who stared at her with widened eyes. “Seriously?” Her brother asked, making her narrow her eyes at him. “You know, I thought that you, of all people, would have known that the amount of times that I’ve caught you in here.” “Yeah, but I never snooped around your stuff or looked around much. I just really like this couch, it’s super comfy.” She rolled her eyes at him and turned back to her monitor. “Well, don’t let my secret out. I don’t want to deal with the fakes.” She spoke, eyes back on her food as she started eating again. A soft ‘ding’ came from her computer, the one to her left, and she slid over and went to her email. There was a new one from Raesung, ‘the lyrics. hope you like them’, and an attachment. When she opened it, her eyes scanned through the words quickly. She already had a flow in mind, making her smile softly. “Okay, when I’m done eating, you guys need to go.” “Why? Are you gonna make a new beat?” “Nope, I need to record these lyrics before bed.” She missed the shocked looks on the boys faces when she started eating again.

           He wasn’t really expecting to have the audio draft by today, but knowing Y/N, he didn’t understand why he would’ve ever thought that. When he’d woken up, he immediately started getting ready to leave out. He was beyond excited to finally meet the genius that was behind ‘yunglameboi’, the genius that was his partner. But, when he sat down to check email and saw the most recent was from her, ‘I have to work on it a bit more and rerecord a part because my cracked. But, let me knows if the flows good’, he opened it without a second thought. Playing it, the familiar beat started flowing from his laptop’s speakers. The others were up and moving around the dorm, but when her soft voice started letting the lyrics he’d written flow into the beat, they all flocked to Raesung. “Y/N?” He nodded, smiling softly as he listened. The soft break in her voice as she hit a slightly higher note made a shiver rack through form. When the song faded out, he just stared at the screen. “How in the hell is this not good?!” He yelled, startling the others. “Warn us next time, please…” Noah rasped, running his hand through his hair and ruffling it. Closing his laptop, Raesung stuffed it and its charger in his backpack. “I’m leaving, we decided to meet at the café near the other side of the Han river.” He rushed out, putting a bucket hat on, grabbing his phone and keys. “Wait! Let’s all go out together!” Hyunsuk called out, forcing the others to rush and finish getting dressed.

While they were walking, Raesung had his head down and his focused on his phone. His fingers were scrolling down her Instagram feed, looking at old posts and newer ones. Stopping at a somewhat recent one, he clicked on it. She had on glasses and a school uniform, surrounded by her friends. They all had different ones to her, making him raise an eyebrow; ‘They must go to different schools’, he thought. Looking up, he smiled at his friends. “I’ll call you guys later!” He called out as they parted from him to cross the street.

           She was dressed in a pair of dark denim skinny jeans with a lightweight, white turtleneck tucked into the jeans- a plain belt pulling it together- and a thick, oversized brown cardigan. Her glasses were low on her nose bridge and her curly hair was tied up in a bun, eyes focused on her phone screen. She hadn’t ordered anything yet as she sat in one of the booths, her backpack next to her. She’d been so focused on her phone, she didn’t realize the male that walked up to her. “Y/N?” She nearly dropped her phone from jumping so hard, then looked up. “Raesung?” Watching the smile that pulled onto his face made her stomach do a weird flip. “Hey!” She watched him slid into the booth, across from her. “Hey.” Her voice was slightly shaky. He looked so much better in person, and that’s saying something because he already looked amazing in his photos. “So, should we order something? I hope I wasn’t late, you looked like you’ve been sitting here for a while.” She shook her head, smiling softly. “No, no, you’re good. I just got here really early, I rushed out this morning to avoid family confrontation.” The gentle laugh that he gave made her stomach twist slightly. His voice wasn’t something she’d imagined going to perfectly with his face, but it did.

A laugh fell from her lips as they walked together, their converse- hers white and his black- crunching over the fallen leaves. Her hand held a large cup of hot chocolate, her backpack hanging on her back. “Seriously, I can’t dance to save my life. At least not what my friends do. I look like a fish out of water.” His laugh filled the air next to her and made her smiles softly as she looked to him. “Maybe we should dance together, sometime. That’d be fun?” She laughed again, shaking her head. “I can watch you dance while I DJ.” She grinned at up at him.

           He stared at her braced smile, a soft smile playing on his. He knew she was pretty from her pictures, but wow. Her personality was so lively and easy to get along with. “My friends are in this part of the park.” He grunted, spotting the rowdy boys not too far. He hadn’t even realized that they’d walked back to the Han River, he was so caught up in her and their conversation. “Really? Are they anything like you?” He chuckled as he nodded, glancing at her. “Raesung!” He heard the familiar voice of Hyunsuk and sighed, looking up and waving to the jumping male. “That’s my hyung, Hyunsuk.” “Oh…from what I’m seeing, it seems as though you guys are very much alike.” He grinned at her teasing tone, looking to her. “I’m not as bad as him. This is him in public.” “Let’s go say hi!” He watched as she walked ahead of him and to the group of males. A chuckle left him as he followed, finding her already talking excitedly to Hyunsuk. “Hey.” He grunted as Noah crashed into his form. “She’s even hotter in real life.” He rolled his eyes at the taller males’ whisper, pushing him from his ear.

~

He didn’t expect to find himself, and his friends, back at her home studio. She’d locked the doors and sat in her chair, looking at them with a smile. “So, did you like the draft I sent you? I need to redo that one part, but I should be able to blend them in seamlessly.” He nodded and pulled out his laptop. “I actually think that you should leave it like that, with the voice crack. It adds this really pretty rawness to the song that I didn’t know it could have.” Looking back up, he found her blushing at her lap. “Thanks… I really wasn’t sure if it had what you were looking for.” “It had more than I was looking for.” He muttered softly, ignoring his red ears and his friends’ eyes. He was very thankful for the room being semi-dark, the purple lights around the room not doing much to actually see anything. “Oh! I was working on a few beats last night, and this morning. Wanna give them a listen?” His eyes lit up as he nodded, the others getting just as excited. “Of course.” He stated, smiling softly when he watched a grin pull at her lips.  

They’d all stayed in there for a long while, none of them knew exactly how long, but when they’d walked outside it was dark. “We should meet up again, sometime.” He smiled at her, nodding. “How about sometime during the week? After you get out of school, I can pick you up and we could walk to my studio.” His stomach did a flip when she smiled and nodded. “That’d be great. I don’t have any after school programs or tutoring sessions.” “Cool. Okay, see you later…” He waved, waiting for her to get back inside the house before turning, only to be met with snickers. “Oh, shut up.” He grumbled when Byunggon threw his arm over his shoulders. “Ya’ll were cute in there, working and flirting. Almost made me wanna scream at how cute it was.” His deep voice friend teased. “So, you’re gonna take her back to your studio…shouldn’t you take her to dinner first?” His friends all laughed, making him chuckle and shake his head. “Oh, shush…”

           They’d been texting back and forth a lot more now, talking about each other’s schedules and planning around it. When the day finally came for her to go to his studio, she put just a little more effort into herself for the day; straightening her hair, doing a bit of makeup, etc. She’d packed up her laptop in her school backpack, along with her charger and notebooks, choosing to carry her textbooks. “Oh, who are you looking so done up for?” Some of the boys in her classes teased, the girls side eyeing her. She was used to it all by now, ignoring them and their snide remarks.

When the day was over, and she was trudging out the school doors, she darted passed her brothers and their friends, ignoring the calls for her name. Exiting the gate, she smiled when she immediately found Raesung leaning against one of the buildings across the street. Looking both ways, she jogged across to him. “Hey.” She smiled softly when he looked up from his phone. “Oh, hey! You ready?” Pushing her glasses back up her nose slightly, she nodded and started following him to his studio.

They’d been walking for 45 minutes, along with the time they’d spent getting hot drinks and snacks. When they arrived at the large building, he unlocked the door with a code before leading her to the elevator. They’d leaned against the metal wall of the elevator as it took them up to the 9th floor. “Come on.” She followed him down the long, dark-gray hallway. When they got outside the room, there were voices coming from inside making the male in front of her sigh. He opened the door and the four men turned around to face the door, “Raesung! Where were you-oh…Hi!” One of them smiled at her, making her shyly wave back. “Y/N, Funny Friends. Funny Friends, Y/N.” Her cheeks rose as her lips split into a smile, watching the males’ faces brighten in realization. “Oh! You’re Raesungie’s beat partner!” Another one of them grinned, turning to the male at her side. She nodded, a giggle slipping through her lips when she glanced to her, obviously bothered, friend. “Okay…hyungs, you know I love you guys. But, could you guys leave? Thanks.” He smiled at them as they stared at him, shocked. “Kid gets a girl in his studio and suddenly doesn’t want us anymore.” They’d grumbled as they left, waving to her as they passed by to the door. She went and plopped down on the couch, chuckling when he got up to lock the door. “Why’d you kick them out?” Her voice was filled with amusement as he grunted. “Because then they’d start being weird. I can already feel the questions being thrown at me later: ‘do you like her?’ ‘are you dating?’ ‘do you finally feel like a man because a girl spoke to you?’. It’s embarrassing.” She couldn’t hold in her laugh, her head tipping back as it tumbled from her lips. When she calmed down and looked back to him, the was a look of mock offense on his face that sprung out a whole new wave of laughter. Soft wheezes left her as she calmed back down, eyes peeling open to find him smiling at her. “Seriously? ‘do you finally feel like a man’? Because of a girl speaking to you?” She giggled making him chuckle. “What, do girls not talk to you? Or do you not talk to girls?” He chuckled again, shrugging softly. “Not much. Male and female trainees aren’t allowed to intermingle here.” Her face filled with realization, before confusion. “Wait, seriously? Why?” “Dating rules. It’s like against the company.” A look of shock washed over her face as she nodded, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. “Guys just don’t really talk to me much. Besides my friends, you included.” She stated it so indifferently, she didn’t understand why Raesung turned to her with a shocked face.

           “Why?” His voice was dripping with confusion, his face twisted in it, too. “You have such a chill personality, why would anyone not want to talk to you?” He was serious, she was one of the coolest people that he’d ever met. So, it surprised him when she shrugged and responded. “In school, I keep to myself more…kind of because everyone’s different from me, kind of because they don’t really like me. But, it’s whatever, honestly…” “Do they pick on you?” He was watching her like a hawk, stomach churning when she nodded. “Okay. I’m going and picking you up whenever I can.” “No, Raesung…you don’t have to do that. I walk home with my brothers sometimes.” “They go to your school? And they don’t help you?” When she didn’t do anything, he sighed and nodded. “Yup, I’m coming to get you from school. Even if I have to get you in the company van.” He turned back to the monitor before she could say anything. “Raesung, I’m serious…you already have a lot on your plate, and this will just be a waste of time.” “Y/N, you’re my friend. I’m not gonna sit back and let my friend go through that and then be alone afterwards. If I could enroll in the school and help throughout the whole day, help you and make sure that you’re okay throughout the whole day, I would. But, I can’t. So, I’m gonna do what I can, the best way I can.” He had turned to her, ending his speech with a smile. “Now, I started working on a beat last night, but I don’t know if it sounds right. Give it a listen?” He glanced back as she adjusted her glasses and nodded, standing from her seat to stand next to him. He handed her the headphones, watching as she slipped them on, before playing it. He watched as her head nodded to it, her lips moving silently. When it was done, and she’d pulled them off, he watched her grin and nod. “Dude…this is amazing.” He felt his ears heating up and he was thankful that he chose to wear his bucket hat today. “You should do some vocals on here.” He looked to her and grinned, nodding. “Okay.” The shocked look on her face made him laugh. “What?” “I didn’t expect you to just go with it. I just assumed you didn’t like doing vocals on anything.” He laughed again, immediately going to his personal SoundCloud and clicking one of his songs. ‘Selfish’ started to flow through the speakers making him lean back in his chair and grinning as he looked to her. There was a grin on her face, eyes closed as she bounced to the beat. ‘How fricking cute…’ He thought to himself, laughing she started moving her body side to side with the beat drop, letting her arms limply sway. “Dude, what the hell kind of dancing is that?” He laughed harder as she started bouncing and swaying harder with the second beat drop. He watched her eyes open and a grin spread on her face again. “A fish out of water!” She laughed with him, his head flying back as he laughed harder.

They’d calmed down and started working on arranging a beat that she’d started, adding and taking away things to make it perfect. She was leaning against the desk next to him, pointing out certain things and he was working at the computer, taking her advice. When they’d finished arranging, he straightened up in his seat and smiled at her. “Ready to start on the vocals?” His grin widened as she shook her head and plopped down on her the couch. “Too hungry.” She laid back against the cushions dramatically, her hand flying up and landing gently on her forehead as she overacted. “Oh, I’m so famished!” He broke out into laughter, eyes curving into his cheeks. “Should we order burgers, or go to the cafeteria?” “Order! I’ll pay.” He simply waved her off as he grabbed his phone, ordering them food to last them a few more hours.

           She stared at him with soft eyes, almost missing the soft ‘ping’ that sounded from her phone. He was taking care of her like no one ever had, not even her other friends. And she’d known them for years. A soft sigh left her lips as she grabbed her phone. Looking at the screen, another sigh left her lips:

1 New Message From: Mom

Unlocking her phone, she expected to find a paragraph of scolding from her mom for not coming home to do homework. Instead, she found the complete opposite:

Mom: Don’t come home for a while. Your grandparents are coming over and I don’t want to deal with your grandmother asking about your hobbies. Just be home by midnight. (18:45)

A grunt came from her lips, as she simply dropped her phone to her side. Her head fell back, and her eyes shut. She liked her grandparents, they were interested in listening about her love for music. They were the ones who’d paid for most of her studio, as a birthday present. Her mother was completely opposed to it, but after some convincing it was pushed through. “You okay?” She lifted her head to look at Raesung, nodding at his question. “Yeah, my mom just told me to be home by midnight.” “Midnight? She doesn’t mind you being out so late?” “Eh, I’m guessing it’s just for tonight. My grandparents are visiting, and my mom hates when I talk to them about my music. Any other time, she’d be calling to yell at me to get home and study.”  His face said it all, and she’d agreed. It was a lot to deal with, her family and school life. But, she had music as an escape route.

~

This went on for a while, almost every day after school Raesung was waiting for her; sometimes in a black van, and sometimes leaning against the schools’ gates. On this day specifically, she was just dropped off home by him and the driver that took him back to his dorm. It was only 9:30pm, but he had early schedule the next day for monthly evaluations. When she’d entered her house, she’d found her living room littered with people from her school; her brother’s friends, and kids from her specific class. They were all smushed on the couches, having lively conversations. They didn’t even realize that she’d slipped in, not that she minded, she’d slipped right into her studio and locked the door. She’d clicked on the LED lights and hummed to herself as she sat in her chair, clicking the power button to her monitor. Her eyebrows furrowed when the home screen didn’t pop up, but it started to actually cut on because she never powered off her computers or monitor, just put them on sleep mode. But, she shrugged it off, guessing that the power may had gone out at some point. But, then her stomach twisted when she’d hit the power buttons for her computers and their home screens popped up. Something wasn’t right, but she didn’t know what. ‘Maybe he came in again and knocked the plug out or something…’She thought to herself about her brother, because he was constantly in her studio. Then, the monitor cut on. She quickly typed in her passcode and went to her beat file. Except, it was there. Nothing was there. Her beat programs. Absolutely nothing. Her eyes widened, and her heart dropped. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, the rage boiling in her stomach. She pushed away from her desk and spun in her chair, looking around the room. That’s when she’d noticed it. Things were moved around. And not just a couple, many things were moved around. The anger was rising but she took a deep breath and stood, walking over and swinging open the studio door. The studio was right off from the living room, so everyone heard her. They’d all looked at her, eyes wide. “Who was in my studio?” She hissed, eyeing everyone sharply. They all shook their heads hesitantly, eyes wavering. Her eyes shut for a moment as she breathed deeply, before she opened them slowly. “Again, who was in my studio?” Her voice was strained as she looked around the room. She saw her brothers nudging people before everyone raised their hands. Her anger rose higher. “And who touched things?” She hissed. Most of them raised their hands, not all, but most. “Who touched my monitor?” She saw most of the faces twist in confusion and sighed. “The big computer in the middle, who touched the big computer in the middle?” 3 people rose their hands. Three. Her older brother was one of them. And that’s what made her blow. “How fucking impossible are you people?! Not only do come to someone else’s home that you’ve never been to and act like it’s your fucking bedrooms! But, you go and touch shit that doesn’t belong to you!” She hissed, looking at all them with fire in her eyes. Stomping into the middle of the living room, she turned to her brothers. They were sitting side by side, heads down and hands in their laps. “And you two! I can’t believe this! You know better than to be in there when I’m not home! You know better than to let people in there! And you definitely know better than to touch anything!” She hissed, finger pointing at them. “Now, look what the fuck you jackasses have done! Every single piece of work that I’ve ever made. Every single program that I spend hundreds of dollars to install onto there. Everything that I’ve ever done. Is now deleted. It’s all been removed!” The way her chest rose in heavy huffs of breath was an even bigger indicator that she was beyond angered. She was livid. When she saw movement from the corner of her eyes, her head snapped up. “Sit the fuck down! None of you are going anywhere! Not until figure out how to get this my stuff back! And if I can’t, guess who’s paying back every single penny to get back those programs? All of you little shits who think it’s okay to touch other peoples’ property.” She turned and made her way back to her studio, simply to grab her phone from its usual area on her shelf. When she walked back into the living room, everyone was still where she left them. Her hands were shaking as she dialed Raesungs number. She half expected him to answer, half expected him not to but when he did, she’d never felt so relieved. “Raesung.” She sniffled, she wiped at her nose. She hadn’t even realized that was crying until she heard her quaking voice. “Woah, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” “Everything from my monitor’s been deleted.” She heard him hush the others around him, then everything in the background went silent. “What?” The tone of his voice was sharp, low in a whisper. She whimpered softly as she wiped at her eyes from behind her glasses. “Everything’s been deleted from my monitor, Raesung.” “Everything? Even the programming?” “Yes, even the programming.” She felt like curling into a ball and crying. “How? Please don’t say you-“ “My irresponsible, good for nothing brothers. And our stupid, delinquent peers from school.” “Oh god…look, um…calm down, okay? You have that tech friend, right? Call him. I’ll be there soon.”  She didn’t even argue, merely nodding and muttered a soft ‘okay’ before hanging up. She heard a faint movement behind her and whipped around to hiss and the two who stood up. “Sit. Down.” She growled, moving to the back wall and turning to lean against it. This way she could see everyone, no matter what. She quickly scrolled to her Eli’s number and called. One great thing about Eli: he almost always answers the phone before the third ring, if it’s before 2AM. “What’s good, sweetcheeks?” His voice was bright and lively, per the usual, and the others’ voices were in the background. “Everything’s been deleted from my monitor.” Another great thing about Eli: he’s the most reliable person to ever exist. His tone dropped, and he snapped his fingers loudly, three times. It was our emergency signal. The shuffling was heard in the background. “We’ll be there in 15.”

It really only took them 10 minutes, and when she’d let them in, she could see their questions evaporate one by one. As they all shuffled into the living room, Eli immediately heading into her studio, they shook their heads. “Haven’t you all ever heard of, ‘if it isn’t yours don’t touch’?” Chan scolded. He was older than all of them, having graduated high school almost two years prior. “Up. All of you, on your knees and raise your arms.” She could see a few of them getting ready to protest, but again her brothers just nudged at them and stood. All of her friends sat on the couches, eyeing them in disappointment. Then, the doorbell sounded. Rushing to the front door and opening it, she was met with Raesung and his dormmates. “Raesung.” She breathed, moving out of the way to let them in. After they slipped their shoes off, she led them into the living room. “Make room for them.” She grunted to her friends, watching as they shifted and moved, letting the group of boys sit. “Where is it?” She watched as he eyed everyone on their knees, their arms high and heads down. His gaze was something akin to…disgust? Disappointment? Her hand gently grabbed at his wrist, pulling him into her studio. “Did you move things around?” Eli muttered as he stared aggressively at the screen. She shook her head when he glanced at her. “They touched everything. Moved everything.” She grunted, flopping down onto the couch. Even the couch felt like it’d moved from its original spot. Her head fell into her hands, her breathing was turning shaky again. Then she felt a hand rubbing the top of her head. She pulled away from her hands to glance up, finding Raesung already looking down at her. “Calm down, okay?” His voice was calm, leveled out.

           4 hours. That’s how long it took for Eli to recover 95% of what was deleted. He’d never seen Y/N looked so happy. Her eyes sparkled in a whole new way, the gasp that left her even cracked when Eli stood and smiled at her. Raesung also never felt that kind of feeling in his stomach before. When he watched her run and hug Eli, he’d felt it. He felt it in his bones. But, then it all washed away when she looked at him and ran to hug him, too. The feel of her arms around him was new, but more than welcomed. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her close and smiling softly. “Feel better?” He felt her nod against him, she’d felt so small and fragile, and his heart swelled.

When they walked out the room, he watched her face harden as she glared at the kids still kneeling. “This is like bootcamp.” Hyunsuk chuckled, looking to the three of them as they walked out of the studio. Then, in the coldest voice he’d ever heard, and never expected to out of Y/N. “Everyone, except you two, get up and come here.” He actually felt goosebumps raise on his arms and decided that he didn’t want to be near earshot of what she was going to say to the group moving towards. He’d made it out of hearing distance just in time because all he heard was the beginning of very threatening tone. Eli stood next to her and one of other friends was in earshot, and by the twists in the faces and slight cringes at her words, he was happy didn’t hear what was coming from her. He could, however, see her face but that didn’t give anything away. It was the blankest he’d ever seen her, eyes set so ice cold, he almost physically shivered.

After a few minutes, the group broke apart. All, except one, went to the front door to leave without so much as ‘goodbye’. The other one went back with others who were still kneeling and dropped to his knees while raising his arms; the other two were both significantly taller than the other one, even when kneeling. He cringed, feeling his stomach twist when she dropped down to a squat in front of the three boys. She muttered to them, making the nod and cringe back slightly when her face twisted in irritation. “We’ve never seen her like this, either. Well, maybe Eli and Arora have, they’ve known her the longest out of us.” He nodded at the older than sat to his right-Chan. He remembered meeting him over facetime a couple weeks back when Y/N told him to answer; she was too focused on mixing her recorded keyboard beat with the rest. Then, she stood with the three following immediately after; they all towered over her, but cowered when she’d pointed to the studio, sending the rushing into the room. She moved towards them, running a hand through her hair. There wasn’t room on the couch for her to sit, so she moved to hop on arm of it but before she could, he gripped her hips and sat her down on his lap without much thought. By the time he’d realized it, everyone else did, too. His ears were on fire. He could feel them. But, he couldn’t just move her off now, he had to stick with. He bit his bottom lip nervously and looked up, only to find her staring at him with wide eyes.

           Her face was on fire, like the type of fire that destroys building within minutes. The type of fire that completely destroys everything in its path without hesitation; diabolical. That’s hot her face was as she stared at the male beneath her. It wasn’t even that she didn’t enjoy it- because, lord knows how much she’s daydreamed about this- she wasn’t expecting it. And the fact that the room had went completely silent didn’t help either. And, again, another reason why Eli was great: he was always there to charge in cases of awkward situations. “So, did you guys know that there’s a home movie theatre in the basement?” He spoke loudly, bringing everyone else’s attention to him as he stood. “I’m gonna take them to the theatre.” She merely nodded, her and Raesungs gazes still connected.

She didn’t know how long it’d been since she’d been placed on his lap, or how long they’d been staring at each other. She didn’t even how they’d gotten, or when they’d gotten, in this new situation. Her eyes were shut, and she was pressed against his chest, lips pressed gently on his. She slowly pulled away and opened her eyes, and they stared at each other more. “Wow…um…” “So, that happened…” “Yeah…”

           They’d barely spoken since their kiss-which happened a month ago. He didn’t know why, but every time they met up after that it was awkward, or when they texted it seemed distant. So, he pulled back a little. He didn’t want to make Y/N uncomfortable, no matter how confused he was, and somewhat lonely. It basically went back to exactly it used to be; the one-line texts about beats.

He’d finally had enough of it. He was in the middle of a session with his hyungs when he’d stopped, grabbed his phone, and stormed out the studio. “He’s finally doing it, guys.” He’d heard Seung say but chose to ignore it. He knew she was awake, it was only 7pm and a weekend. He scrolled through his phone to her number, took a deep breath, and pressed call. It rung, and rung, and rung against his ear for what felt like forever before he heard the line get accepted and her soft voice mutter into the receiver. “Raesung? Hey, what’s up?” His heart felt like it was gonna fly out his chest if it didn’t slow down. “Hey, um…are you busy?” His hands were shaking, and legs felt weak, so he was proud of himself for sounding so calm. “Not really, no…why?” He could hear her shuffling around, the voices of her friends fading out before a door shut. “Just wanted to know if you wanted to…I don’t know…come over and record a song with me?” “A song? Yeah, sure. Um, give me…one hour?” He nodded, holding a smile in. “Okay. Be careful on your way, yeah?” “Yeah, okay.” Her chuckle made him swoon, and he’d been so excited that he forgot to hang up. “Yes!” He grinned, then heard her giggle and panicked, hanging up and falling against the wall. The door opened then, and the four males stood in the doorway staring at him. “Hyung?” “Yes, Raesungie?” They all answered simultaneously. “Why am I so lame?” Then they burst into small fits of laughter and went back inside.

~

When she got there, he’d was calmed down. His eyes were focused on his monitor, headphones covering his ears, and his hands moving the mouse back and forth. He didn’t even know she arrived until he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. Pausing the track, he pulled off the headphones, and turned. When he did, he felt his heart rate speed back up. She looked gorgeous, with that perfect smile pulled onto her perfect face. “Hey.” Her voice was just as amazing as he remembered it being. He meant to say it back, greet her properly. Yet, the only thing that came from was: “You got your braces off.” And he almost immediately regretted because she grinned wider and ran her tongue over the front of them. He swore he was gonna have a heart attack. “Yeah, got them off like two weeks ago.” She giggled. God, did he miss her giggle. And her voice. And her presence. He just really missed her. “You look pretty.” He muttered softly, turning when realized that he said it out loud. His ears were starting to burn, except this time he couldn’t hide them; the computers were all shining brightly onto him and he didn’t have a hat to cover them. “Thanks…” God, did he miss her voice. Slowly turning back to her, he felt his stomach twist again. And, again he acted on whim. Didn’t think before his actions, again, and grabbed stood up in front of her. Then, before he could even completely process what he was doing, he leaned forward and quickly pecked her lips. When he pulled back, they just stared at each other with wide eyes, like the first time. But, unlike that time, she moved towards him and pecked his lips back. This time, when she went to pull away, his hands grabbed her waist gently and they stared at each with soft smiles. “Y/N, I kinda really like you…” He muttered, breath brushing over her lips in a whisper. And he felt his heart skip and butterflies erupt in his stomach when she whispered back: “Raesung, I kinda really like you, too…”

~~~

           The smile that took over his face could have lit the whole room up, his eyes sparkling so brightly. Then he was kissing her again, his arms wrapping around her waist and hers around his neck. She could feel her hands slipping into his hair, the soft strands wrapping gently around her fingers. And it was going well, their kiss: his hands slipping to grip at her hips and her fingers rubbing gently at scalp. Until, it was interrupted. “Raesung, is Y/N here ye-” They both pulled away, looking to the intruder. It was Hanbin, and the others. They were all staring them with wide before Noah started yelling: “I told you! I knew it!” She could feel her face setting aflame, so she pushed her face into Raesungs neck to hide herself. His arm wrapped around as he sighed into her hair. “Yeah, now we all do, can you guys go now?” She couldn’t help the smile that pulled at her lips when the grumbles of protest started. “You’re always kicking us out. I see how it is, though.” She could recognize Seung’s voice by now, and Hyunsuk following right after him. “Now that you have a girlfriend, we’re not needed anymore. Well, don’t come to me when you want some of my late-night ramen.” She giggled, hands gripping at the back of Raesungs shirt. “No, like seriously…could you guys leave?”

[yoonminnow]

Parallel | Dec’16

→ pairing | Yoongi/reader

→ word count | 2.6k

→ genre | producer!Yoongi, angst, FWB, pining (is that a genre?!)

→ summary | You and Yoongi have not talked in almost half a year. His rising success as a producer causes you to grow even further apart. But one night, as you reminisce on what the two of you used to have, you can’t resist the temptation to reach out. 

→ warnings | language, future smut

A/N: This will be a series with a lot of jumps in the timing, so rather than numbered chapters, I’ll be titling the series with dates. It’ll make more sense as new chapters come out!

You have to stop wine from coming out of your nose when you first see him on your TV screen.

Yup, that’s Yoongi alright. Same gummy smile, same crinkled eyes, but his hair is a faded mint color now. Oddly enough you think it suits him really well.

The last time you had seen him it was a bright bleach blonde, and you teased him saying he looked like a ghoul.

Honestly, you thought he looked incredibly handsome with that hair. With any color hair really. He just got more handsome as the years passed.

You sputter into your elbow as you watch the faded head of hair bob up and down while Yoongi walked onto the stage. Your eyes scan the bottom of the screen to see that he is accepting an award for the production of a popular r&b idol’s song, one that you happen to hear nearly everyday on your car radio.

“Damn, you made that?” you ask to the television, which now is showing a close up shot of Yoongi’s face. Your heart jumps at the fact you can see the details of his face for the first time in months, even if it’s only through a screen.

You’re always in awe whenever you see that Yoongi has reached a new achievement, a new goal. You see articles and blog posts about him receiving awards that you can recall him mentioning in the past. Awards he used to dream about winning.

You know Yoongi had never been hung up on trophies and titles as markers for his success, but now that the two of you had become more distant this was really the only way you could keep track of his career. Seeing him accept awards on TV and thumbing through posts on naver kept you more updated on his progression as a producer than the man himself did.

Not that you could blame him. He was incredibly busy, you were sure. He wasn’t living the same life he had been when you two had met.

He had always been busy then too, but at least he had been home.

At least a few years ago you could stop by his apartment without much notice and know that he’d be in his makeshift studio with his headphones on, knee-deep in work.

In fact, it was necessary at that time for you to visit him, or else he’d probably let himself go without food or sleep for 48 hours.

Now he probably has staff that will make him eat at least one meal in a day. You vaguely wonder if they know how Yoongi likes his coffee. Then you wonder if he still even takes it the same way he did when you used to make it for him.

You watch the screen as Yoongi rattles off his thanks into the mic stand. He looks good. Too thin, but good. He’s wearing a black silk shirt with an array of accessories that collectively probably cost more than your apartment.

The camera pans to the audience for a quick sweeping shot, and you’re startled by the head count. There must be close to 10,000 people there, yet somehow Yoongi looks as relaxed as he always manages to be.

The way he holds himself was one of the first things you had ever actually noticed about him when you had met. His confidence and self assurance seemed to roll off of him in waves even back then.

Nearly 4 years ago now your close friend, Namjoon, had brought you to a dingy hip-hop club near your university to meet some of the artists he often had shows with.

You sat closer to the back of the club not wanting to get in the way of the small crowd that had formed in front of the stage. Maybe 30 or so people had gathered for the show.

You knew Namjoon was an extremely talented lyricist. He would often bounce ideas off of you when he was writing a new song. You had never seen him perform before tonight, but you  quickly realized that reading the lyrics as opposed to hearing them be performed was vastly different. Namjoon was incredible, and the crowd had definitely thought so as well.

Soon after his short set, Namjoon came out of the green room to sit with you and watch the rest of the performers.

Sometime just past 12am a young looking man came out onto the stage while one Dj was finishing up his set. A large black hoodie swallowed his frame and made it difficult for you to see his face. Even so, you couldn’t help but watch him.

Despite the rowdy atmosphere of the club, the hooded man walked across the back of the stage and started setting up his equipment as if he was the only one there. Completely focused and unphased.

You watched as he fiddled with his set up, moving some wires around and messing with something on the screen of his laptop while crouched next to the current Dj.

As the music started to fade out from the last set the man in the hoodie hooked up his laptop to the booth, and started to unwind the cable to his mic.

Before starting he nodded to a man you couldn’t see in the back of the club, and suddenly the stage lights came up.

You were taken aback by his appearance once you could see him in the light. He was so handsome, you thought. Even as simply dressed as he was, you thought he had looked so good.

Back then his hair had jet black hair, not yet subjected to the abuse his future scalp would have to endure. He wore it messily tucked up into a backwards snapback, some strands spilling out from the side. His eyes were sharp and intense as he let his gaze scan over the audience.

“Woah.” You breathed out before remembering that Namjoon was seated right next to you. You promptly slapped your hand to your mouth to shut yourself up.

Namjoon’s head whipped in your direction, meeting your wide eyes. He started laughing at you, bringing his hand up to his mouth to stifle the sound.

“Ah, so I’m guessing he’s your type.” Namjoon jokes.

Really he wasn’t, at least not the type of guy you had generally gone for in the past. But something about him was drawing you in.

“His name in Min Yoongi.” Namjoon stated. “He’s an amazing rapper, but he’s famous here for his production.”

“Yoongi.” You test the name on your tongue.

Namjoon laughs. “I can introduce you after the show. We’re actually pretty tight with each other.”

“Uh, I don’t know Namjoon. Isn’t that kind of awkward?”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’m sure he’d love to meet a fan.” Namjoon teases, bumping you with his elbow.

You feel your cheeks heat up at his taunting before the sound of bass kicks through the clubs speakers, making you jump a little in surprise.

The oriental sample in the song was something you hadn’t heard before in hip-hop music. The light sound of the acoustic instrument contrasting with the heavy bass of the song had the hair on the back of your neck standing up.

You watched as Yoongi walked confidently along the edge of the stage, twisting the microphone in his hand. A larger crowd had gathered and started to press forward as he moved towards the center of the stage.

As the beat kicked in Yoongi brushed his hood off of his head and brought the mic close to his lips before growling into the microphone. You were taken aback by the deepness of Yoongi’s voice when he started.

His rap was aggressive and raspy as opposed to Namjoon’s smoother tone. He emoted perfectly on stage. Believably angry when the lyrics called for it, then cool and arrogant in the next moment.

He had an incredible presence, the way he walked along the stage was slightly cocky and way too cool for you, that much you were sure of. You hadn’t realized you were leaning forward in your seat until you almost tipped out of it.

You listened adamantly to Yoongi’s five song set, not wanting to miss a word. When he finished he gave the crowd a wide smile and a bow to show his thanks before walking off, wiping the sweat from his brow.

Too fucking cool for you. You thought to yourself.

During the next artist’s set Namjoon asked if you wanted to come back into the green room with him. Though you were hesitant, you agreed. You followed Namjoon past the crowd and bar to a small brown door by the bathrooms in the back of the club.

He punched a code into the door’s keypad before opening it up to reveal a white room about the size of a small dorm. The walls were littered with posters and signatures of various artists that had come through the venue in the past.

You scanned the room before your eyes came to a rest on Yoongi who had changed into a simple black t shirt and grey sweatpants, his damp hair hanging in his face while he tapped something out on his phone.

“Hey, Yoongi!” Namjoon started. Yoongi’s eyes immediately shot up to Namjoon, mouth forming a closed smile at the sight of his friend. His head then turned to you briefly, eyes holding your gaze, before standing up to shake Namjoon’s hand.

“Hey, how have you been, Joon! Haven’t seen you here in a little bit.” Yoongi said, rustling his own hair.

“Yeah, busy finishing up school.” Namjoon shrugs. “This is my friend y/n, by the way. She’s a fan.”

Holy shit Namjoon.

“Uh..” you stutter, “Not a fan, I mean, well yes a fan. A new one. This is my first time hearing you and you were really great so…” you rambled before Namjoon cuts in.

“I’m just messing with you, y/n.” He laughs at your expense.

You huff out of embarrassment before focusing back on Yoongi, who is now smiling cutely at you. You laugh lightly at yourself before reaching out to shake his hand.

“It’s really nice to meet you, y/n. Fan or not.” He teases.

“Jesus, let’s just forget about this, shall we?” You plead.

You think fondly of how awkward you had been with Yoongi back then. You had thought of him as some sort of celebrity when you were first getting to know each other. You laugh at the irony considering how you now can’t see him as anything other than the sweet, quiet, and sometimes goofy guy he is, even as you watch him on national television. A real celebrity now, but your past with him will hardly let you believe it.

As you sit alone in your one bedroom apartment, only the sound of the cheers emanating from the television, you’re overcome with an emptiness that you don’t allow yourself feel often. A sense of longing for what might have been if yours and Yoongi’s lives had ever managed to line up.

But your relationship with him was and has always been a sequence of bad timing. Never quite at the same place in your emotions or your careers. Your lives always managed to get in the way of your relationship before it could become something more. Which, as it currently stood, was not saying much since you two had simmered down to only seeing each other a few times in a year at best.

Though the image of the two of you working it out was nice, you never let yourself dwell on the ‘what ifs’ of yours and Yoongi’s relationship. Frankly, there was no point. You’re both successful and you’re both happy in your lives, even if those lives are destined to be apart.

Like parallel lines, your life and Yoongi’s had always run together. Close but not touching. You could see the other line. You could watch his high and low points, just like he could watch yours, but you could never quite get the lines to intersect.

Since you two had met you can’t remember a time where you were far from each other. Even now, though you go months without seeing each other, when you come together it’s as if no time has passed.

But you never truly come together. Parallel lines are fated to remain apart, and something always inevitably will keep the two of you seperated.

You’ve thought about this a lot, and you’ve accepted it. Mostly.

But on some special occasions you allow yourself to feel sad about how yours and Yoongi’s choices in life led you away from each other. You feel a sense of loss even as you watch him walk back to his seat on the screen.

The decisions you two made, some together and some separately, ultimately led to you choosing to be apart. And on some nights more than others it stings badly.

Tonight just must’ve been one of those nights, which would explain why you were reaching for your phone now. You’ll blame it on the wine tomorrow.

Though you know better than to text when you’re emotional, you can’t help but falsely justify it anyway.

I’m just congratulating him. You convince yourself.

You know in your rational mind that this is just you being selfish. You wanting to confirm that you’re still relevant in his glamorous life, despite the fact that you’re prodding a raw nerve for the both of you.

But tonight you just need to know that he’s still there, still somewhat yours; regardless of the fact that he’s assured you time and time again he would be, no matter what.

You scroll back in your texts to find the familiar contact. It’s been over five months since you had last texted. He had asked you to wish your mom happy birthday on his behalf, and you told him you would, followed by a quick thanks for remembering.

You hold your breath as you type out a short message.

     y/n(10:31): Congratulations, Yoongi! I’m a little offended you didn’t ask me to be the recording artist, but I love the song so much that I’ll let it slide.

Before dwelling too much you hit send. As an afterthought you send one more.

     y/n(10:32): mint looks nice on you, by the way.

You had been staring at the phone for a minute or so when you see that Yoongi has read the message. You felt like a teenager when your heart jumped at the sight of the ellipses showing that he was messaging you back.

Your hands shook as you held the phone up waiting for the response to come in, and you nearly dropped it when it vibrated.

     Min Yoongi (10:35): I was wondering if you might be watching. You know I’ll only let you record on my best tracks. This one wasn’t good enough for you.

You laugh to yourself before realizing that tears had begun to well up in your eyes.

You were re-reading the message when another buzzed in.

     Min Yoongi(10:37): I’m glad you messaged me.

You sniffled, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. This is why you have a rule for no drinking and texting.

You see that Yoongi is typing, but he seems to be deleting and retyping something multiple times.

You blink hard to clear your eyes when the text finally comes through.

     Min Yoongi (10:38): I miss you.

Part 2: Oct ‘13

[slacktron23]

Albums of the Week, 11/11-11/13/2021

Duma - Duma

This is Kenyan noise/electro/grindcore. I can't tell if it was produced using pre-plugin-era equipment, or whether I'm just projecting that onto the music because it's so nice to hear something this new, yet still somewhat familiar. It's bleak, it's abrasive, the vocalist is named Lord Spikeheart. It's absolutely one of the best albums of 2020 and I can only hope we get more coming out of Nairobi's underground metal scene that's as good as this.

***Special Section - Albums of the Carrrrrrrr, 11/8-11/12

I have two kids. One of them is nearly 12 and goes to a school that's a good 20-minute drive from where we are. No school buses or anything and he's not quite old enough to do public transportation there by himself, so we drop him off. Which means! I get to play music for him in the car. This isn't me forcing anything on him, mind you, I make sure he's cool with it and say "you know, you can choose or tell me that you don't like something". And he says "music is good, I like your music". Alright cool, coolcoolcool.

It should be noted that unlike the Albums of the Day, these are played by my phone over a shitty Bluetooth-to-FM-frequency device, then actually played on whatever stereo system was standard in a 20-year-old Subaru. Back back in the mists of time, when I did some work in an electronic music program in college, our prof would always make us listen to our pieces on two systems -- the ungodly expensive system in the school studio that was five, possibly six-digits expensive and had speakers that were hand-built by celibate Canadians, and the original system in his crappy 80s Tercel. Had to sound good on both!

Godflesh - Streetsweeper

Let me just give some love here to Birmingham here. I don't know much about it except that it's a gritty industrial city in the English Midlands, and that it's reliably produced some of the best heavy music ever -- Black Sabbath, Napalm Death, and Godflesh all hail from there (there being some crossover between the latter two) and my goodness, we all benefit as a result.

Anyway, an industrial metal classic, hugely influential, just huge slabs of horrible rock-shattering bass, drum machines, and guttural exhortations. It does also emphasize how good A World Lit Only by Fire is, to be able to release this at the start of the career, and then release another album of this stature 30+ years later is feat that few have been able to pull off.

Metallica - Metallica

I have some history with this album, in that it was the third album I ever bought, and the second cassette (first album was a used CD of Anthrax's Persistence of Time and second album, first cassette was Pete Townshend's Psychoderelict). Seeing Metallica after the album was released was the first concert that I went to of my own choice (openers were, in order: Faith No More, Soundgarden, Queensrÿche).

It's a weird one, as I'm sure as been noted by many before me, as it sits between Metallica's "traditional" thrash metal period, and their later, uh, more hard rock-y period. I'm not exactly cutting any fresh meat when I say that the latter half of their career has not done a whole lot for me and that the "Black Album" now sounds like you can hear that transition toward Top 40-style compositions bleeding through. Judges say: It's alright!

Megadeth - Rust in Peace

So as Metallica lurched in the direction of more traditional rock, another one of Thrash's Big Three went another direction, refining and embellishing the extant metal genre. Now, this is a Megadeth album, so yes, it's going to be a glistening machine of metal mayhem, fronted by what sounds like an aggressive Muppet. Aside from that, the two most important things about this album are:

1. It absolutely rips.

2. It is dumb as hell.

RE: 2, one of the stone-cold bangers here is Tornado of Souls, in which Mr. Mustaine frequently refers to "the eye of the tornado", presumably for rhyming purposes? There's also 'Five Magics' which makes your typical Dungeons and Dragons campaign sound like

There's also the caveat that a fair amount of the lyrics are about how we're destroying the environment and how military proliferation is a nightmare. Kudos for that.