#we are jacoffel

[un-holyhound]

guys I didn’t put him on my kin list because I have never found art of him I like,,, but yeah Warren Kepler is me on god

I promise,, plz believe me,,, im him,, yeah

[emp-t-man]

why ship jacobi with kepler when the obvious toxic yaoi choice is right there (officer klein)

[feojpeg]

supplementary art to my fic still think of you:

After weeks of radio silence, someone turns up at Doug's work. 

(instagram)

[pigeonwithapen]

LAST ONE OK IM DONE

Assorted Wolf 359 nonsense because I still love it shush.

Don’t ask for context for the first one because I honestly don’t even remember.

The second two are the product of me reading one (1) soulmate au fic on ao3 and going off the rails.

Also y’all ever have a ship that you see from a distance and you’re like “ok yeah that’s nice, not my cup of tea though” and 5 minutes later you’ve set sail?

Y e a h.

[airshipvalentine]

just want u to know that i rly appreciate u and ur blog! whenever i see u in my notifs i go !!!!! and i hope u have a good new decade :) 💞💓💞💓💕

aaaaaaa thank u!!!!

[phoet]

okay but consider the one time jacobi called eiffel "honey"

AND ALSO

the episode where they vented all of kepler's stuff out of the ship, and in minkowski's version of what happened, eiffel and jacobi's being together is veeeery suspicious

(in case you haven't noticed these are the only things i am building my ship on it's absolutely fucking insane and i don't know why my brain is Like This)

Jacoffel is such a funny ship to me because so far 95% of their canon interactions have been Eiffel being like "hey can you maybe act like a human person for like 5 seconds?" and Jacobi being like "Absolutely not. Go fuck yourself. "

[tanis-drawings-2point0]

Watching movies, one (1) minute before getting frisky

when i asked what could i draw my friend said jacoffel cuddling, but since i dont know how to draw cuddles this is the closest thing :’) kindof

[freckles-like-stars-n-shit]

Like i know these mission mishaps are from before the show started and all, but part of me still is like hey what if we get a mini episode of jacobi teaching eiffel abt memes and then when he gets the hang of it they torment both the hephaestus and the urania together :')?

And its like bitch thats not gonna happen... but wouldn't that be beautiful?

[radioactive-mouse]

bet y'all haven't heard this in years but wolf 359 😳

THIS ASK ACTIVATED MY OLD HYPERFIXATION SO FAST IT GAVE WE WHIPLASH

Favorite character: i still love mr dan jacobi,, horrible little man

Second favorite character: eiffel 🥺

Least favorite character: i mean. hilbert is interesting and i like him but i also hate him. he’s evil but he’s not even fun about it.

Character im most like: hera

Favorite pairing: jacoffel is STILL my number one they should kiss mayb

Least favorite pairing: i.. Do Not Like Kepcobi

Favorite moment: AAAA THERES SO MANY one of them was a rlly good short also the episode with the two jacobis was good,, funzo is a classic and if we’re talking goofs i will always love jacobi and maxwell sprinting down the halls carrying dynamite

Rating out of 10: 9/10 its such a well written show and probably objectively the best podcast ive ever listened to even if its not my favorite at the moment

[captain-lovelace]

Statistics of the Wolf 359 fandom, part 1: "Top" 100 Posts in the Tumblr tag (on mobile)

Out of the 100 top posts in the Wolf 359 tag, a surprising minority of them actually mention characters (or talk about the show specifically, even). Most of them talk about the show in relation to other shows or are about podcasts in general with Wolf 359 hidden in the tags. But that doesn't mean there aren't character mentions, and from that we can find this information:

Character mentions:

(The number of times a character is mentioned in distinct posts. Multiple characters can be mentioned per post.)

Jacobi: 17

Eiffel: 14

Hilbert: 10

Hera: 10

Minkowski: 10

Lovelace: 9

Kepler: 9

Maxwell: 8

The Blessed Eternal: 4

Pryce: 3

The Dear Listeners: 3

Enlil: 2

Cutter: 1

Rachel: 1

Lambert: 1

Eris: 1

Rhea: 1

Fisher: 1

In percentages (rounded to nearest second decimal, out of 105 total mentions), this translates to:

16.19% Jacobi

13.33% Eiffel

9.52% Hera

9.52% Hilbert

9.52% Minkowski

8.57% Lovelace

8.57% Kepler

7.62% Maxwell

3.81% Plant Monster

2.86% Pryce

2.86% Dear Listeners

1.90% Enlil

0.95% Eris

0.95% Rhea

0.95% Cutter

0.95% Rachel

0.95% Fisher

We can see clearly that Jacobi and Eiffel are way, way in the lead, which is interesting. Eiffel is an expected factor-- he was billed as the "main character" for most of season 1 and has been around for the whole show, after all-- but Jacobi is interesting seeing as he's only been around since the start of season 3. In addition, while Maxwell was often depicted or mentioned with him (and/or Kepler), he is often depicted or mentioned without Maxwell or Kepler. Another interesting point is just how little we see of Pryce and Cutter, the show's main villains. (They're both outstripped in popularity of depictions by the plant monster, for crying out loud.)

Gender breakdown:

There are 7 distinct females, 8 distinct males, and 2 distinct genderless/nonbinary characters in the roster.

Out of 105 mentions, 41% are about female characters, 52% are about male characters, and 7% are about genderless/nonbinary characters.

No commentary except that the gap between male and female character mentions despite their similar numbers seems signficant, but this is raw data without any tests applied.

Ships:

3 Kepcobi

1 Herawell

1 Minlace

1 Fishberg (Hilbert/Fisher)

1 Jacoffel

7 total ships, 71% m/m and 29% f/f

It's very interesting that I managed to find even one mention of Fishberg in the "top" posts, because I'd never actually seen it before that. Apart from that, the data on shipping doesn't have anything very surprising in it.

Notes:

Sample size is small out of the necessity of not scrolling through the tag for hours, but that might have created bias in the numbers

Unknown if any bias in mentions came from bias in source material

The Hera-centric (or even Hera-mentioning) posts were more than half by @marinavermilion

Eiffel and Hera were often depicted together, as were Maxwell and Hera

Character "lineups" (many characters depicted at once) may have thrown off numbers

Herawell depiction debatable but included regardless

And finally:

These numbers are part of a series of quick and dirty statistical analyses I am doing on Wolf 359 fan content. They are raw data, they have not been put through tests of significance or other properties that would make them useful in any sort of study, and any conclusions you draw from them are your own. I encourage others to post their own analyses of the tag, but keep in mind that the contents change constantly and this is just a snapshot.

[feed-me-to-the-polar-bear]

Okay....45 or 56 Jacoffel??

45: do you trust me?

Eiffel was jolted back to alertness by a knocking on the door. He’d been half asleep already. He would have been ashamed of it if it wasn’t his least favourite night of the year; Christmas Eve. Once upon a time, it had been his favourite. He’d found it hard to go to sleep, so excited to see what presents he’d gotten. Some had said they felt sorry for him, having his birthday and Christmas on the one day. But young Eiffel had loved it. Twice as many presents, twice the excitement. But now? Now, everyone else had other plans. Now, Eiffel just felt alone.

The knocking continued, and Eiffel got to his feet, groaning a little. He wasn’t quite sure who he was expecting. Possibly some well-meaning but ultimately irritating neighbour, trying to spread the festive spirit. He wasn’t too far wrong.

“Ho ho ho,” Jacobi deadpanned. “I lost a bet with Lovelace and have to wear this Christmas jumper all weekend. Now, get changed, we’re going out.”

“What?”

“Oh, sorry. Get your coat, darling, I have bought us surprise tickets to an opera, and we must leave immediately! Ooh, is that pizza?” Jacobi brushed past Eiffel and into his sitting room.

“Listen, Jacobi, I dunno if I want to-”“Nope, we’re going out. To a bar. Whatever one is nearest and cheapest, I don’t care. My head is fried from just sitting at home alone, all by myself, so you’re coming out with me. Just for a few hours. You’ll feel better.”

“Jacobi, I really don’t-”

“Aw, come on, Doug, don’t you trust me?”

Freshened up and in clean clothes, Eiffel was dragged out by Jacobi, still eating some of Eiffel’s pizza. Despite his insistence that Jacobi didn’t care where they went, he suddenly seemed to be dragging Eiffel in a certain direction.

“I heard this one bar has really good offers on drinks tonight. Perfect for us loners.”

The bar seemed busy, and when Jacobi stopped outside, Eiffel let himself believe that he might have changed his mind.

“One last thing. I need to blindfold you,” Jacobi said. Usually Eiffel would have just laughed, but there was something in Jacobi’s face that stopped Eiffel before he even got that far.

“No. Absolutely not. Nope.”

“Come on, Doug, don’t you trust me?”

And once again, something made him actually trust Jacobi enough to let him do it. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on, and Eiffel was cursing himself for letting Jacobi do this to him. He found himself gripping Jacobi’s hand tightly as Jacobi led him in to the bar.

“Jacobi, what’s going on?”

“Just a little further!”

Jacobi released his hand, and Eiffel reached up to pull off the blindfold. Sitting in front of him was Lovelace, Minkowski, and Jacobi, all wearing similarly terrible christmas jumpers, and holding a sign that said “HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOUG”.

Time passed in a blur after that. It seemed like hours before Eiffel and Jacobi got a quiet moment together.

“Hey, Jacobi.”

“This was Minkowski’s idea.”

“Should I give her your present then? I don’t think she’ll appreciate it as much as you would,” Eiffel replied with a smirk. Jacobi paused, taking a mouthful out of his drink.

“What is it?”

“Don’t you trust me, Daniel?”

“I guess I walked into that one.”

“Absolutely.”

“Okay.”

“Close your eyes… And open them.”

When Jacobi opened his eyes, Eiffel was wearing a mistletoe headband.

“That is literally the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”

“I know, right?”

Jacobi, still grinning, stood on his toes to kiss Eiffel. “Happy birthday, Eiffel.”

[sciencematter]

henlo babes ily and il your writing and “Sometimes, being a complete nerd comes in handy.”and “You’re never going to let that go, are you?” for jacoffel?

21. “Sometimes, being a complete nerd comes in handy.”

14. “You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“You know what, Daniel? Sometimes, being a complete nerd really comes in handy,” Eiffel says with a triumphant grin, clutching his prize tightly against his chest as they walk.

“You’re never gonna let that go, are you?” Jacobi says, and Eiffel shakes his head with a laugh.Jacobi thinks it’s adorable.

“Hell no,” Eiffel says. “I won a Star Wars trivia quiz, there’s no way you’re getting this away from me.”

Laughing and leaning over, Jacobi lifts himself onto his toes to press a kiss to Eiffel’s cheek. Eiffel turns to meet his lips, grinning widely as Jacobi pulls him closer with his hands resting on his cheeks.

“Chewbacca isn’t getting to see what we do in the bedroom,” Jacobi says before he breaks off into a fit of giggles. “No, I mean- the game of Snap. That got violent. We should get rid of the cards.”

“I love you so much,” Eiffel sighs.

“Love you too, babe. You’re really cute when you’re excited, by the way.”

“I- I am?” Eiffel says, bemused, confused, and absolutely adorable. Jacobi sniggers, kissing him again.

“You are,” Jacobi grins.

“You’re… I love you.”

“I love you,” Jacobi sighs happily. “Now, c’mon. I’ve got a date with you, and so help me God, it’s gonna involve ice cream.”

Jacobi drags him along with a gentle grip on his wrist, but Eiffel doesn’t mind- he’s still grinning, happy as he’s ever been.

[gemsofthegalaxy]

Hospital waiting room in the early hours of the morning w/ minffel! or Church tucked away on the edge of town with only a glowing cross to light it up w/ minlace (bc i know you also love minlace c:)

I legit took over two weeks to do these, oops, but since the first one ended up fitting with a post-finale story I wrote I think it was worth waiting.  

The story nothing like a hospital waiting room for an existential crisis can be found on ao3 by clicking here and corresponds to the minffel prompt, but readers may want to check out Isn’t this just like us (found here) 

But, for the other prompt, we have shorter minlace fic here (and there’s also some mild jacoffel!!!!

Isabel turns off the ignition in the car and looks over at Renée, whois frowning at her.

“What?” Isabel says. Renée just continues to frown, looking up at the lit-up cross on top of the church they’re parked in front of. “Oh,please. There’s gotta be a bathroom in there, it’s a church, there’s no way it’sunlocked.”

“I just… this feels weird. I dunno.”

“Well, go in the woods, then. See if I care,” Isabel says with a groan. “You’rethe one with the weak bladder here,” she takes her hands off the wheel andhuffs.

“Oh, don’t give me that,” Renée scoffs. 

Renée sighs a moment later and glances to the backseat,where Doug and Daniel are cuddled up and snoring loudly. She gives a tiredsmile and then shakes her head.

“Fine,” she mumbles, unclipping her seatbelt.

“Want me to come in with you?” Isabel asks.

“I’m just going to the bathroom, I think I’ll be alright,” Renéesays, rolling her eyes.

“Suit yourself. Just trying to use the buddy system, that you instated.”

“Ugh,” Renée groans, “if you want to come in there’s,nothing stopping you. Why are you so damn snippy tonight?”

“I’m not,” Isabel bristles.

“Yes, you are,” Renée says, then puts her hand on the handleof the car door.  

“Just go, so you can come back, and we can leave,” Isabel says, and Renéetakes in a breath through her nose, muttering one last ‘fine’ before she getsout of the car. “You’re snippy, too,” Renée overhears Isabel grumble.

Renée wanders into the dark church alone, using her phone toilluminate the way and searching for the bathroom that has to be in this place. Thankfully, she finds it in the firsthall, before even reaching the pews. Thankfully, she finds a light switch in the bathroom, but it’s still not very bright. It’s a little creepy, but after she pees, she takes a moment to smooth out her hair andlook at the deep, dark circles that have been under her eyes for what seemslike years now.

She heaves a grand sigh, and then walks back out in to thehall, starting towards the little porch where she first came in. When she takes astep past the first door something grabs onto her, saying a quick “BOO!”

Renée lets out a loud shriek like Isabel has never heard, andIsabel pulls her in to her body, cackling loudly.

“LOVELACE,” Renéescreams at her, whacking her on the side of the arm as Isabel starts to nearly crywith laughter. “I’m going to strangleyou, I can’t believe you just fucking didthat I swear to god,” Renéescoffs, entirely indignant as she grips Isabel’s biceps and shakes her alittle.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Isabel gasps, “holy fucking shit, Igot you tho.”

“I hate you,” Renéesays, and Isabel just bubbles with a laughter again, though much lighter thanbefore.

“I’m sorry, I was just too good an opportunity.”

“I’m gonna kill you,” Renée mumbles, dipping her head toIsabel’s chest.

“For real, I’m sorry. Well. Sort of,” Isabel says, petting Renée’shair. “But, uh… I’m sorry for the other stuff more.”

“Huh?” Renée asks, her face in Isabel’s collar. She snakesher arms around Isabel’s waist, and Isabel hugs her back.

“For being kind of, well, mean tonight. I’m just- I’m reallytired. This trip has been exhausting. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been fun, but…”

“I get it,” Renée says, “it’s actually really draining to goto Disney World, and then decide to take a road trip back. Even after spendingcountless years in space getting used to high-stress situations.”

“It’s just really shitty when your vacation turns out to bea source of stress in and of itself, you know,” Isabel grumbles. “Nothing’s everas relaxing as I want it to be. That’s no excuse to take it out on you, though.”

“You’re forgiven,” Renée says. “I’ve had a rude tone withyou, too, anyway. It’s okay.”

Isabel hugs her tighter, and Renée nuzzles her head againstIsabel.

“Well, once we get home, we can try and take some trips to,like, beaches, and mountains. We’ll stay there for a while, so we’re notpressed for time. And we won’t schedule and plan the hell out of it. We’ll finda way to force ourselves to relax. Or die trying,” Renée says, making a noise ofamusement.

“Sounds like a plan,” Isabel says, laughing airly. “We should probably getback to the car.”

“Yes, and out of this creepy little church,” Renée replies.Isabel ducks her head forward to kiss her, and Renée accepts it, placing a handon Isabel’s cheek. After that, Renée sighs happily and they walk out withIsabel’s arm around her shoulders.

Renée gets in the passenger side and Isabel slides in thedrivers seat.

“Um, guys, did we hear, like… screaming? In there,” Dougasks, his voice sleepy and concerned.

“Yeah, I scared the fuck out of Renée. Hid in the hallwayand grabbed her.”

“HAH!” Daniel throws his head back. “Nice. Classic. That’sfucking great.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Renée mumbles. Isabel smirks and flips herhand behind the seat, Daniel leans forward and high-fives her.

“She even kissed me afterwards,” Isabel says.

“Sneaking into a lone church at 2am to scare and then kiss another woman?Iconic. You’re an inspiration to me every day, Izzy,” Daniel says.

“Thank you,” Isabel says, smirk evident in her voice.

Doug snorts, but he leans forward,“And are you alright, Renée?”                    

“Yeah, I’m fine. My heart startedbeating again, anyway.”

“Well, that’s… the optimal statefor it to be in, at least. Y’know, beating,” Doug says. “God, I’m tired.”

Isabel chuckles again as she puts thekey back in the ignition, then starts the car. “Same,” she says with a sigh.

“Let’s get home,” Renée says,looking back to smile at Doug. He returns the smile, and then leans back andloops his arms around Daniel again. Dan puts one arm around Doug’s shoulder andplays with his hair, the other coming around to hold Doug’s elbow where his armis wrapped around Daniel’s waist.

“Here we go,” Isabel says,glancing at Renée with a smile. Renée smiles back and leans over to kiss her onthe cheek before doing up her seat belt as Isabel pulls out of the church parkinglot and starts to drive along the way.

[airshipvalentine]

hellllo friendo!! was wondering what your favorite like. comfort fics are or even just ur favorite fics period because i rllllly want to read some but i haven't had the patience to read though mediocre fics recently so! just wondering :)

hi leo!! i hope you’re doing well :)))

ok in general i save fics i really like to my bookmarks (+ usually tag my faves) tho i can’t assure my taste is always impeccable haha

but here are some good ones. kind of a mishmash of fandoms, check out what calls to you :)

this made me reread a whole lot of good stuff! thanks for sending this. also feel free to tell me what you think if you read any of em!

(also may i suggest watching the national theatre’s production of twelfth night? i think you’d enjoy it. anyway)

hopeless - TMA fic! set s1-ish. martin gets a crush. its adorable.

black-clad bats and making money - based off this tumblr post–– basically, john mulaney-style riddler. very fun read, no prior batman knowledge required

phoenix wright comes of age - a sort of character study of phoenix realizing he's bi... makes me feel things

for a higher love - a king falls am fic about sammy and ron and solidarity that comes with being the few queer people in a small town... warm fuzzies

put your guns away, it’s tea time - okay i know the cursed child was pretty bad. but personally i really really liked the characters. this is scorpius/albus and it’s just... so cute. its a wonderful mix of summer and family shenanigans and awkward romance and UGH. i love it. i really do.

how to date a superhero - based off of this tumblr post. secret identity shenanigans are my WEAKNESS okay??? there's a lot of characters & it might be weird without prior knowledge of the batfam? i dunno. i really like it

i’ll tabletop you any day - sokka/zuko coffee shop au. what more can i say

there’s no telling where we’re going, or how we got here at all - THE STERN/BARCLAY ROMANCE WE DESERVED. so funny. full of heart. liberal use of footnotes a la terry pratchett. i love it so much

always glad you came - teenage spideytorch! minimal knowledge of spider-man and fantastic four required. really just gotta know that they exist. i love this one a lot

bless this mess and call it a home - nurseydex. dex can talk to houses. it’s not as weird as it sounds. very cute

it comes and goes in waves - batfam fic, no capes au. combines things that i, personally like- batfam siblings bonding, colin wilkes, and lgbt themes. damian tries to come out to his siblings. minimal knowledge of batfam needed, just that damian has a lot of siblings

defrosting - jacoffel, daemon au. written by the same minds from that one fantasy au! 

columbiformes - spiderverse genfic!! miles befriends some pigeons

herbalism - chilling adventures of sabrina, harvey/sabrina/nick. *chefs kiss*. excellent polyamory & bisexuality

Oh, So You Can Carry The Ring To Mordor But You Can't Carry Your Best Friend-Slash-Obvious Love Interest Down The Road To The Corner Shop? How Very Convenient For You. - ok i cant type this one out in lowercase no matter WHAT my brand is. dirk gently’s holistic detective agency! dirk discovers piggyback rides, todd isn't always amused

woodstock 83 - x-men movies genfic! pietro has no idea how to tell magneto that he is his son.

all we see is sky - tragically unfinished but excellent post-canon kleinsen fic

these are all real fluffy but here's some more serious fics i still love

nests and cages - batfam, 99% gen. jason todd-centric, delves into the backstory we could have had.

two truths and a lie/donut siblings - red vs blue, gen-focused. wash and donut are siblings! shenanigans(?) ensue.

the balance book - until dawn, mostly gen. post-game, josh is recovered and has to make amends with uhhhhh everyone. quality friendship, and i really like the narration voice. could probably work without prior knowledge of ut honestly. highly reccomend

xbox, hash browns, and other necessities - wolf-359 post-finale fic. 

[lottiesnotebook]

Listen I can't write a prompt to save my life but y'know the soulmate AUs with wrist tattoos? How about that except it's a matching symbol or crest representing the relationship of the soulmates. Maybe you can write this with Jacobi (lost his symbol when his arm burned off, Kepler's brand/contract is like replacement) and Eiffel in the SESD universe? I think that's be neat. I liked your end-of-world prompt response btw, cheers to the anon who sent that --'Kaleidoscope' :)

Send me a prompt! (Yes, still doing these)

You wanted SESD Jacoffel with Soulmates? Ask, and you shall receive! I asked the lovely @captainlovelxce to write this with me, so this is a product of both your SESD girls:

“What’s that?” Eiffel drew back from kissing him to graze a finger against the mark at the base of his ribs. “Weird shape for a birthmark.”

“It’s not a birthmark,” Jacobi said, like it was obvious, and tried to draw him back in again.

“Mm, what, then?”

“What, you’ve never seen someone else’s soul mark before? Not get out much?” Jacobi teased, slipping his hands under Eiffel’s shirt so they could be similarly disrobed.

“No, but- I thought yours was on your wrist?” He raised his arms, allowing Jacobi to pull his shirt off more easily, before catching the aforementioned arm in his hands. “Right there.” He flipped his wrist, revealing the mark there. “But if that’s your soulmark…”

“This?” Jacobi asked, sounding more confused by the second. “This is a sigil. What’s – why have we stopped kissing, again?”

“Because- why do you have- never mind, it’s not important. Shit.” He leant back a little, a hand knotting nervously in his hair.

Jacobi folded his arms over his chest, hunching over just slightly as he stepped away from Eiffel. “What’s wrong?”

“Itlookslikemine.” The words exploded out of him, tripping over each other into a dead silence. “It. It looks like mine. I think.”

“That’s not possible,” Jacobi said curtly, and a little too quickly.

“What do you mean, that’s not- look at it.” He turned away a little, pulling his hair back to reveal the mark at the base of his neck. “I haven’t exactly checked on it recently but I’m pretty sure I know what my own soul mark looks like!”

Jacobi’s arms closed a little tighter around himself. “No.”

“How are you so-” He cut himself off, closed his eyes, breathed, then said, flatly: “You’re freaking out as much as I am right now, aren’t you? Fuck.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Jacobi said plainly. He moved a hand to cover his own mark, and felt how warm it was, how it had reacted to his soulmate’s touch. His fingers itched to touch the mark on Eiffel’s neck, but he kept them still.

“You’re a horrible actor.” Eiffel’s hands curled around his elbows, drawing further back. “If I was wrong, you’d be using it against me right now.”

“If I don’t – If I don’t touch you - it - it doesn’t count. We’re not bonded.”

“What, so you’re just going to leave me hanging? Rude.” He rolled his eyes, mask of sarcasm slipping back into place. “It can’t exactly make things worse. Not now we already know.”

“One man controlling me is bad enough.” Jacobi loosened his arms just enough to be able to bend down and grab his discarded shirt. “I don’t need a soulmate. Never did.”

“You think I’d use it to control you? What would I do? I can’t even lie to you anymore! I’m…” He tailed off, turning away. “I’m even more of a liability than I was before.”

“I won’t ask you to tell me anything,” Jacobi told him, dressing. “But I’m not - I’m already bound, okay?”

“Well, now that makes two of us.” He could feel the bond, already hooked deep beneath his fingertips, but that didn’t mean he had to look at him. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t think you were coming.” Shirt on, he rolled up one sleeve slightly. “I told you. Sigil. His sigil.”

“Of course. I should’ve known better.” He gritted his teeth, turning away fully to pull on his own shirt. “He took my home. He took my family. Of course he took my fucking soulmate, it only makes sense-”

“He did you a favour,” Jacobi snapped. “Now you get a choice. You can find someone who’s actually worthy of you, your highness.”

He gave a sharp, bitter laugh. “Little late for that, don’t you think? The bond’s already setting in on my side. The only person you’re protecting is yourself.” He shook his fingers as if trying to flick the sensation away, but it was far too late.

“What if I just don’t want you?” Jacobi lied, because he still could.

“Like I said. Horrible actor. You can’t hide your feelings from yourself, let alone me now.”

He cursed, silently. “What do you expect me to do?”

“I don’t know. Not leave?” He still wasn’t looking at him, hair falling askew to partially reveal the mark.

He had never seen Jacobi look so helpless before. “And then what?”

“Just… stay. We can figure the rest out later.” When the bond wasn’t dragging at him like a current, like a thread beneath his skin. “Please.”

“He’ll know. The second he sees me. And then what happens to you? That’s a question, not a threat. I have no idea.”

He shrugged. “He can’t kill me, at least. You keep telling me he’s not that stupid. And he wouldn’t just know. He’s not a mindreader, even the fae can’t do that-”

“He can read me,” Jacobi cut across him, rolling his eyes.  

“And you think nobody’s going to notice I’m even more of a mess than before?”

“Then don’t be a mess! Can’t you just… ignore it?”

“Have you ever heard a story where that goes well and doesn’t end in insanity and buckets of blood all round? Because I haven’t.”

“You and your stories.”

“Yeah, well, you’re my soulmate, apparently, so stories are what we’ve got.”

Jacobi groaned into his hands. “Just stop talking. I – I need to talk to Maxwell. Even if I could just leave him, I won’t do it without her.”

“Because putting my life in the hands of Lady Dragonspeaker – yes, I know she’s your sister – sounds like such a safe plan.” He shuddered, arms curling tighter around himself.

“Oh, for fuck’s sa – here.” Jacobi strode forward, and in one quick movement, had pulled Eiffel towards him for a kiss. His fingers brushed the nape of his neck. “I’m not going to let you die,” he said a moment later, and they both knew he couldn’t lie anymore. “But I’m not throwing my life away either. Got it?”

“Got it,” he agreed, and kissed him again. “Not a fan of losing my soulmate now I’ve got him.”

[harpers-mirror]

It's shameless self-promotion time!

I heard there was some darkest timeline talk a-brewing out there and wanted to remind everyone that these pits of despair are available for your displeasure on AO3:

lost all hope of a happy ending

(Rated M; vague hints of Minffel, future Jacoffel)

Written at a time where we actually didn’t anticipate the brutal deaths of half the crew, this bloody fic strips Eiffel of everything and leaves him to rebuild some kind of life with his only remaining allies, Jacobi and Maxwell. Plus the benevolent guiding force that is Goddard Futuristics, of course.

Part one of the someday-to-be-completed Reconstruction Universe; complete as a so-called story.

sold my soul to a three-piece

(Rated E; explicit non-con Eiffel/Cutter, past and present Minkowski/Eiffel)

Here be bleak horribleness! Seriously, heed the warnings here - we have Cutter is at his sadistic “people as playthings, feelings as weapons” worst, and an Eiffel who has resigned himself to a fate he believes he deserves. At least there are bits of past happy Minffel to cheer you up…until Cutter ruins that too.

Somewhat of a work in progress, though the story at present can be read as complete.

the subtle approach

(Rated M; Minkowski/Eiffel/Koudelka, warnings for manipulation and relatedly dubious consent)

Still more Minkowski and Eiffel whump, though admittedly they don’t know it yet. And this time, the perpetrator is none other than the elusive Mr. Koudelka. Shame about that whole “secretly working for Goddard the whole time” thing. Can be read without the benefit of its companion piece you breathe the fickle air (and say the words I never heard) - a happy work of pure poly fluff - but it likely won’t make much sense.

Another work in progress under the larger “Nobody Loves You Like Me” series, this fic stands on its own, unsettling merits as well.

Feel free to add your own darkfic recs to this listing, either your own work or faves from others!