#we are coming to the text from a different starting point now kids

[tathrin]

Okay but ever since reading this post I have been utterly consumed by the thought that on one hand, this knowledge changes absolutely nothing because the text is exactly as queer (read: very) as it always was, and yet at the same time it sort of recontextualizes everything enormously because if Tolkien had a gay friend, if Tolkien was actively down with gay fiction, then the fact that he wrote the absolute most perfect example of a Queer Happily Ever After ever was no accident.

This was not some oblivious Old British Fellow writing about Those Deep Platonic Bonds Between Men with no clue or awareness that there could be other types of love bonds between men. This was not "Oh lol, look how gay these characters turned out! completely unintended on the author's part obvs, but still wow super gay!" This was not Tolkien being Too Straight(TM) to realize that life beyond the cisheteronormative default existed. He knew. He knew, which means there is no way this was not purposeful.

And of course it’s not explicitly stated that they’re wedded partners in the sense that Éowyn marrying Faramir was, or Sam and Rosie, or Aragorn and Arwen, or any of the other het-couples married in the books. Nobody in England in the forties was talking about gay marriage, not as any sort of legally recognized possibility. “Legal recognition“ then still meant jail and disgrace. (He knew what they did to Turing. He knew what they did to Wilde.) Tolkien knew that, and honestly his own feelings about whether or not it was "moral" by the standards of his religion and society are irrelevant; he accepted it enough to accept and praise those stories, those writers. To be friends with W. H. Auden to the extent that the two of them wrote birthday poems for each other!

And Tolkien turned around and wrote Legolas and Gimli sailing away from Middle-earth to go to Valinor and live happily ever after together.

Think about that in the framing of the time it was written, in the context of Tolkien having a gay friend; in the context of Tolkien respecting and praising stories with gay lovers. Nobody in the forties expected marriage equality, or even a separate-but-equal civil union stand-in. Nothing like that, not even close. But Tolkien wrote “Then Legolas built a grey ship in Ithilien, and sailed down Anduin and so over Sea; and with him, it is said, went Gimli the Dwarf. And when that ship passed an end was come in the Middle-earth of the Fellowship of the Ring.”

He didn't write "and then Legolas and Gimli were wed," because that wasn't something he likely would have been able to get either his head or his society around. Likewise he didn't write "Boromir was ace" because he wouldn't have know what that meant, even if he’d meant it (and it’s hard to read the line "taking no wife and delighting chiefly in arms” and not see it as some form of asexuality, tbh) just like he didn’t use that sort of language when he talked about the Dwarves who preferred their crafts to marriages, etc. (There are a lot of aro/ace-coded and otherwise queer-coded folks in these books aside from just our most obvious Hobbits, Elf, and Dwarf, if you’ve never noticed.) We have to remember to take the time period into consideration, and understand what he would have known how to write and what he wouldn’t have. I’m not asking anyone to pretend that this story was somehow written with prescient knowledge of the modern world; I’m asking people to actually look at the text as it was written, in the time it was written, and interpret it that way, rather than by our modern standards.

Because here’s what he did write:

We have heard tell that Legolas took Gimli Glóin’s son with him because of their great friendship, greater than any that has been between Elf and Dwarf. If this is true, then it is strange indeed: that a Dwarf should be willing to leave Middle-earth for any love, or that the Eldar should receive him, or that the Lords of the West should permit it. But it is said that Gimli went also out of desire to see again the beauty of Galadriel; and it may be that she, being mighty among the Eldar, obtained this grace for him. More cannot be said of this matter.

Tell me that is not the absolute epitome of a Queer Happy Ending? Tell me that it isn’t making you cry, thinking about Tolkien coming up with the closet thing he could conceive of to an “and then they were married and lived happily together to the end of their days” ending for two male characters who loved each other. They literally break the rules to go to magical heaven together; there is nothing more queer than that. NOTHING. Especially when you add “more cannot be said of this matter.” Why can’t more be said? Because that’s how you wrote queer stories back then, isn’t it? Certainly it’s how Tolkien would have, medievalist that he was, writing an (invented) epic legend.

Tolkien lived in a world where two men could never be married either legally or in the eyes of any established church, and he knew this. He may or may not have even thought it was right that they should want to be; it doesn’t matter. Because he still gave us the closest thing to a Happy Gay Ending—to a Happy Gay Wedding—that he could have imagined. He still thought that that was what was right and good and deserved for these two characters. They broke all the rules of both their people, and went to the Undying Lands together. That is absolute PEAK queer love, tbh. We love each other so much that the rules don’t matter. We love each other so much that the disapproval of gods don’t matter. We love each other so much that we don’t care if other people think it’s strange or wrong, we’re going to do it anyway and you can’t stop us because we love each other THAT MUCH. Tolkien wrote them that way, and then he wrote them sailing to heaven together in the end.

How many times in history—including in the time period in which Tolkien was living—did you have “confirmed bachelors or spinsters” putting their lives together, traveling together, living together, without any hope of a legal union (or any religious ceremony officiated by an established organization for that matter, although some of them had ceremonies of their own to be sure) to recognize their love, or even any surety that their families would allow their graves to lie alongside one another once they were dead and unable to protect themselves, but refusing to be parted anyway?

Tell me that doesn’t resonate when you think of Legolas and Gimli. Legolas and Gimli, who should have been as sundered after Gimli’s death as any other elf and mortal, and yet were not. And yet found a way to be together against all the rules of their world and the forces that should have governed their fates. “You are a Wood-elf, anyway, though Elves of any kind are strange folk. Yet you comfort me. Where you go, I will go. Strange it may seem...” and “Strange it may seem, but while Gimli lives I shall not come to Fangorn alone...” and “You shall come with me and keep your word; and thus we will journey on together to our own lands in Mirkwood and beyond.” Read those lines and tell me that doesn’t read that way, if you can.

When you look at Legolas and Gimli in the context of queer relationships of Tolkien’s era, in fact, the text reads as even more queer rather than less, I think. Often modern readers are accused of projecting the views of today onto stories written in the past when we claim to see deliberate queerness in the subtext, but in this case looking at the text from the position of the past, it does very much the opposite. And I don’t know why I never looked at it that way before, because I know my queer history well enough to have seen this sooner—save that I suppose I’m so used to looking at queer subtext in older fiction under the premise of “unintended queerness” rather than thinking the author might have done it with full knowledge and deliberation—but oh, this time I think it was deliberate. This time I think it had to have been.

Tolkien gave them not just a but rather the best Queer Happy Ending.

And we’ve allowed cisheteronormative revisionist interpretations of the text to blind us to that reality. To be read as the “natural default” of all books, even when they aren’t. And frankly, if you actually read the text as it is written rather than letting all the homophobic drivel we’ve been inundated with all our lives to obscure what’s actually there, then it’s clear enough that I posit that from now on, it’s anyone trying to take a heteronormative view on Legolas and Gimli’s relationship that has to find evidence in the text to support their position, rather than the other way around. Because we have no reason to take straightness as the automatic default here, and every reason in the world to look at this relationship and take it as written instead. And frankly my friends, it is written extremely queer.

Now, is there any way to actually "know" what Tolkien was specifically thinking or intending here? No, obviously, not unless someone finds a note or letter somewhere stating it in clear and unambiguous terms that somehow escaped being burned in any of the intervening years, of course not. Not without time travel and telepathy. I’m not saying that. No one (contrary to the many tests you probably took in high school lit classes to the contrary) can know that about someone else's book, not unless the author tells you and even then you may have to ask how much you trust their word after the fact, but—but.

But Tolkien was a very careful writer, and a very intelligent and well-read man. He was a medievalist, a craftsman of language and legend. He knew his references, his allusions, his myth and his history. And if he knew queerness too, which he did...well then I'm sorry, but there is no way that I am ever going to believe that he wrote the perfect Queer Happily Ever After by accident.

He was too good of a writer for that.

[crossbackpoke-check]

Fixed point (mathematics) // The History of Perspective // "Point of Disappearance", Dennis Held // How the Hughes hockey family stays grounded // Fixed Point Photography-- // "Portrait of A.", Tung-Hui Hu // Mic'd Up | Hughes NHL 25 cover shoot // "Burnt Norton", T.S. Eliot // "Circuitry", Janine Joseph // Bruce Bennett // Nick Wass // from obedience [maybe one day, during a point in time], kari edwards // Bill Rapai // "Errand Upon Which We Came", Stephanie Strickland // Benchmark (surveying)

art kid luke hughes

[01zfan]

show me | l. at

virgin!anton x fem. reader | 7.5k words

stop writing fics with mutual hopeless pining challenge FAILED.

contains: loss of virginity

“are you going on a date next week?”

you tried to sound even as you asked the question. you hid behind your phone while you spoke, only turning your head to the side to see anton’s reaction. you swore you could feel him tense beside you on the bed before he went back to his phone, swiping away on some social media app as he nodded his head.

“i didn’t know you knew about that.” anton said simply.

you went back to your own phone, trying desperately to ignore the way your stomach dropped.

“your mom told me.” you responded.

you could hear anton sigh beside you, mentally cursing himself for trusting his mom with such personal information.

“we are going to go eat.” anton slid down his notification window on his phone, probably too see if his soon to be girlfriend had texted him “then we are going to watch a movie at her place.” he said.

knowing the details of the date made the pain significantly worse. it was already bad enough that you felt perpetually stuck in the friend zone with anton. the two of you were always like this—at one point in time all you wanted was to be his friend. but you grew up and so did he, and as your personalities began to differ you saw him as less of a friend and more as a partner. 

it didn’t help that skinship with anton never changed. you two would still hold hands like you did when you were kids, and you two laid in beds and sat so close together on couches that your thighs would touch. one day you saw it platonically and one day you did not. you felt your body become hot when anton would get too close, and you would hesitate for no reason. anton was oblivious to it all, so much so that he started letting himself be pursued by girls. you had no choice but to watch it happen, girls that didn’t pay attention to anton talked to him now couldn’t get enough of him. you sat quietly, forced to seem as neutral as possible when they would curiously ask you what anton’s type was. 

one girl was able to break through, giving anton his number and eventually asking him out on a date. this is what you gathered from his mother, atleast. she took you aside when you first came into their house, curiously asking you what you knew about a girl named belle. you remembered her, one of the more recent girls that tried for anton’s attention. you told her what you knew, that she was a girl who seemed nice. anton’s mother gave you a knowing smile as she told you anton had a date with her next week. she always had that smile on her face when she spoke to you now, especially when she caught you and anton sitting next to eachother on the couch when there was so much room left on the sofa.

you couldn’t hide your shock, quickly walking up to anton’s room as his mom was on her way out. something about running low on groceries and picking up anton’s brother from practice. everything was lost on you, the only thing occupying your mind was the thought of anton going on a date next week. 

you tried to keep it to yourself, atleast until anton decided to tell you himself. but as you laid next to anton on his bed watching him scroll wordlessly on his phone you felt the question bubbling in the back of your throat. when you saw a notification from her pop up on anton’s phone you couldn’t stop yourself from bringing it up.

“why didn’t you tell me?” you asked.

anton only shrugged, clearing the notification from the top of his phone before turning off his device. he let his phone rest on his chest as he covered his eyes, an awkward laugh coming from his lips. he took his hands away, not making eye contact with you as he confessed.

“i’m embarrassed.” anton said.

he was still laughing lightly, even as the tips of his ears turned red. you shook your head, propping yourself up from the bed to look down at him.

“you’re my bestfriend, anton.” you try not to focus too much on his lips or his eyes as you try to remain neutral. “you don’t have to be embarrassed to tell me anything.” you say.

anton props himself up on his elbows, his face coming closer to yours. he is significantly worse at remaining neutral. anton’s eyes immediately go to your glossy lips and stay there. he swears they sparkle in the light of his room, and our eyes stare back at him so intensely he can’t look at them for too long. 

too many times you have been stuck in this position with anton. you above him, your lips dangerously close to touching his. in times like this, almost always someone would interrupt this moment. whether it was his mom coming to tell you two food was ready, his brother barging into his room unannounced, sometimes even a notification on anton’s phone would bring you two back to the present. each time there was an outside force that would pull you two apart, acting as a buffer so you two could go back into your normal habits without mentioning what happened moments earlier. but now there was nothing to break the tension or to pull you two apart. it was only you, anton, an empty house, and unresolved feelings that existed in the space between your lips.

when you shifted on the bed and your hand got closer to anton’s body he couldn’t stop himself.

“i’ve never been with anyone before.” he rushed.

you blinked, pulling away from anton to sit up on the bed. you looked around the space of his room, until you circled back to him.

“is that why you’re nervous for your date? because you have no experience?” you asked.

the fog in anton’s mind almost made him ask you what date you were talking about. it wasn’t until anton’s phone rang from another texting notification that he remembered his obligation next weekend. maybe antoon was reading too much into the moment he shared with you, the shimmer on your lips distracted him. so anton nodded at your question, still feeling dizzy after being so close to kissing you. 

anton sits up on his bed, leaning against his headboard as he draws his knees to his chest. he focuses on his knees, a habitual shy smile across his face as he avoids your gaze.

“i’m not prepared at all, if we go further.” anton brings one hand to scratch at the nape of his neck. “if she has experience i’m screwed.” anton says.

he can only bring himself to look at you when he feels you look away again. you look past anton to stare at his window, deep in thought as his eyes roam your side profile. you look so pretty like this, he wishes he had the nerve to tell you. part of anton wants to reach out and caress your soft cheek, something he hadn’t been able to do in so long. he has to hold himself back when you turn your head to look at him again. 

“what about this.” anton sees the figurative bulb light up over your head as you shift on his bed. “what if i help you. like if i tell you what to do when you’re in that situation with her.” you say.

anton tilts his head when you paused before sayign her. the two of you have been going to school with anton’s future date for as long as he could remember. you knew belle’s name, you were her partner in a project together last week. why was belle suddenly her?

“what do you mean?” anton asked. 

anton sees you feign annoyance, how even you realize what you’re proposing is ridiculous. regardless, you lean forward and move in front of anton. your balled up fists hold you upright on his bed, dipping the mattress as you try to justify your reasoning.

“i want to help you not be embarrassed.” you lean back, sitting on the back of your legs as you gently smooth out anton’s sheets with your hands “so you can become confident in expressing your feelings.” you say.

what you say fully sinks in for anton. he feels heat blossom in his chest and spread across his body like a wildfire. he doesn’t know if there’s enough confidence in the world to help anton. he can’t even bring himself to confirm what you’re offering.

“do you mean—” he stutters.

“we can go as far as you’re comfortable with.” you put your hand over anton’s quickly as if you’re trying to compensate for coming on strong. “i don’t want you to mess it up with her.” you reason.

there’s that her again.

“with belle?” anton specifies.

you don’t say her name, only nod your head as you keep your hand on anton’s. he doesn’t know if he should believe you, the situation is too confusing for anton to navigate. you were unpredictable in this way, sometimes so non-assuming you didn’t know what you were hinting at. anton had to be direct, but he had to let his heart calm down first. his eyes went back to looking at your hand resting over his. you were squeezing him at first, but your grip loosened to the point that anton feared you were going to pull away. he had to keep you there, he had to keep feeling your soft hand on top of his.

“just a friend helping another friend out?” anton asks, looking up at you from your hand.

anton sees you hesitate before you nod.

“completely as friends.” you confirm.

anton nods his head, bringing his knees down to sit criss crossed on his bed. now that you two have agreed, neither of you knew how to proceed. it was almost awkward. you felt the urge to go back on your word.

“should we start with kissing?” anton asked.

you nodded your head, scooting closer to anton on the bed. he got closer too, you could see his chest raise and fall quickly as his hands moved towards you. anton talked himself out of touching you, his hands falling back onto the top of his mattress.

“you should touch her first.” you look down at anton’s hands, wishing they were on you instead. you bring wide eyes back to anton, trying to blink away how wet they already feel. “it’s hard but making the first move from the start matters.” you say.

anton nods, bringing his hands up to your shoulder. it’s awkward, you can tell he doesn’t know what he’s doing when he hesitates on where to put it. he squeezes gently and shakes you softly, smiling at you. you smile at him for a second before a shy laugh slips out. anton does the same, giggling as he brings his free hand to cover his toothy grin. 

“i don’t know if i know how to kiss.” anton giggles out truthfully.

you nod, and when your laughing subsides you bring anton’s hand from his mouth to rest on your cheek. instantly he’s caressing your skin, light as a feather as you fit into his hand perfectly.

“you can still bring her in.” anton begins pulling you in, his mouth slightly opening as his lips get closer to yours. before they can touch, you speak, desperate to cut through the tension. “let her guide you once you start and you’ll get the hang of it.” you say.

you look up to anton’s eyes one more time, and he nods again before going back to his previous position. he brings you in an you follow in closer, screwing your eyes shut your your lips finally touch. 

anton melds to you like it’s second nature. he follows the curves of your lips, and only stumbles for a second before following your lead perfectly. your hand finds its way to his hair, holding the soft strands for comfort. when you tilt your head anton follows, and when you move to the other side anton does the same. 

you go from pecks to lingering wet kisses. the sound of your lips parting fills the room, the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard. it’s soft like anton’s hand on your cheek, how he got the courage to tilt your head up to his liking. you submit instantly, reveling in anton taking the reigns. it’s him who slips a tongue into your mouth first, and you let him explore your mouth. when his tongue presses against yours you do it back, swapping spit between eachothers mouths. 

you’re the one that has to pull away for air first. you almost stay there, intoxicated by the way anton sighs contently into you. but you feel your heart is about to explode. when you finally pull away you’re breathless, looking at your fast learner in awe. anton looks at you with wide eyes, running his tongue over his glossy lips to see if he can taste you again.

“you’re a natural.” you say breathlessly.

“thank you.” anton says back.

he’s just as rattled as you, his mussed hair reflecting his scrambled mind. anton pulls you back in with both hands while you still try catching your breath, placing one last wet kiss on your lips. your hands go to his shoulders and stay there even when he pulls apart from you.

you two still hold eachother, huffing in air like you both just ran a mile. anton comes back first, eyes determined as he takes his hands away from your face.

“what’s next?” anton asks.

you have to sit there and think, not because you don’t know what comes after passionate makeout sessions. you have to gather your thoughts, thinking how you can be normal about your friendship with anton if the two of you go any further. you decide that’s something for later when anton puts his hands on your legs and gives you a look that has your heart leaping in your chest.

“she might only let you finger her since it’s the first date.” you start reaching for your pants. “you have really nice hands so that’s a plus. definitely play into that.”

you wanted to cringe at how you sounded, saying something so lewd so casually. anton was all ears though, not teasing you for the compliment you have wanted to tell him a million times before. his phone was long discarded as he sat up on his bed in front of you. he had his fisted hands pressed into the mattress beside him, flexing his fist as he listened to what you were saying. he nodded at everythin, eyes focused on new parts of your body that were exposed as you got yourself undressed. first it was your thighs and then your calfs as you struggled to take your pants off.

anton was too shy to offer his help, but something inside of him liked seeing you struggle and liked seeing you get undressed for him. before you could expose your stomach, you paused. anton’s eyes went from your thighs and how they were pressed together to your face.

“this is a disclaimer, before we go any further.” anton clenched his fist again when you let go of your shirt, letting it drape down your body again. “she might want you to do things a different way. not all girls are the same.” you say matter-of-factly.

“just show me what you like.” when your eyes got wide anton quickly defended himself. “i can figure out the rest with her when the time comes.”

you nodded your head, agreeing with his reasoning. you and anton sat like that for a minute in complete silence while you gathered your thoughts. anton was patient and he was obedient, giving you his hand instantly when you reached out for it.

you brought his hand to your face, using your own hands to bring his ring and pinky finger to his palm. when only antons thumb, index finger, and middle finger were left you guided his hand to rest on your lips. you slowly opened your mouth and anton understood, shivering while he pushed his fingers past your plush lips.

when his fingers were inside of your mouth he left them rest on top of your tongue. you nodded approvingly, and anton nodded back as he let his thumb rest underneath your chin. he took charge slightly, pumping his fingers in and out of your mouth as you hollowed your cheeks.

what you truly wanted anton to do was stick his fingers so far into your mouth that you gagged on them. but you settled for his large fingers pressing lightly on your tongue. you could see his mouth fall open as you made a show of sucking on him.

“okay now pull them out” you mumbled around his fingers.

anton nodded his head, but before he pulled out his fingers out he brought your chin forward with his thumb, eyes focused on his fingers as he stuck them further into your mouth. the entranced look in anton’s eyes distracted you, and before you could prepare yourself his fingers went too far. you gagged pathetically when anton’s fingers went past your tongue.

anton’s gaze went from his fingers in your mouth to your eyes. he had a look you had never seen, so different from the your shy bestfriend. he kept them there for a beat too short, before you could ease your throat to stop your eyes from getting glossy anton withdrew his fingers slowly. when he saw your eyes get glossy he pulled them out slowly. both of you looked at the the string of spit that connected your lip to his fingers.

“sorry” anton said sheepishly.

as fast as you saw the look in anton’s eyes it was gone, replaced with the same shy expression you were used to seeing. he kept his two fingers together in the air, waiting for your next instructions. you look down at your legs, how they pressed together. the image of anton prying them apart while he had that look in his eyes flashed across your mind. you closed your eyes before looking back up at anton with a thinking look. anton shifted on the bed as you leaned back, following your movements until you moved your legs from underneath you. 

when your legs were bent in front of you, anton stayed still. his wet fingers were still in the air, drying from the cool air in his room. you smiled before reaching forward and grabbing his hand, putting it on your knee.

“make sure you always ask if everything is okay, especially if it’s the first time.” you say.

you start applying light pressure to anton’s hand on your knee, showing him to lightly spread your legs apart. he understands immediately, bringing his other hand to your other knee to part them.

“is this okay?” anton asks.

it’s genuine, the way he looks at you with big eyes. you wordlessly nod your head, leaning back to prop yourself on your hands while anton continues spreading you apart.

when you add resistance against anton’s push, he stops completely. you can see him remembering the distance between your parted knees. she is so lucky.

when a sigh slips from your lips anton’s gaze snaps up to you. you play it off well, moving your shoulders slightly to feign contemplation. before anton can ask you what next, you point your feet.

“help me take my underwear off.” you say.

any attempt to sound bossy is hindered by the hush in your voice. you’re being too soft but you can’t help it. you’re lucky anton is too focused on getting you undressed he doesn’t notice the way you bite at your lip nervously.

anton’s hands are timid as his fingers go underneath your waistband. he thinks it would be easier if he approached the situation like ripping off a bandaid, but it’s slow as he pulls your panties up to your thighs and down your knee. your pointed feet helps anton in the end, he leaves the pair next to him on the bed, dropped gently from his hand.

anton sees the first definite crack in your composure when he can’t take his eyes away from your core. you glisten and seize around nothing. the pornos he’s watched and the stories he’s heard falls short—nothing can compare to you.

“wow.” anton sighs.

your knees wobble as you try to close them in subconsciously. anton keeps them apart, slotting himself between your legs to stop them from closing completely he will fight anything that tries to obstruct his view of you. anton looks down at you to watch you change your pleased expression a beat to late.

“flattery will get you very far, anton.” you say.

you try to be sarcastic, but anton is serious as he shakes his head. one of his hands leaves your knee to press on your pearl that protrudes at the top of your cunt. you jolt from the feeling, fists balling the sheets. maybe the pornos got some things right. anton looks at your face, watching more and more of your resolve crumbles in from of him. you are stubborn, clearing your throat to try and bring back some volume to your voice.

“i’m wet already. feel it.” you say.

anton’s finger that presses your pearl drifts down. he can feel you wet and slick against his fingers. he pulls his hand away from you and rubs it between his thumb and index finger.

“that’s how you know you’re doing something atleast a little right.” you shift your hips closer to anton, inviting him to touch you some more. anton went back to touching your folds, pressing in slightly. you could tell he was looking for your hole, and you let him find on his own. you shivered as anton got closer and closer, going further down your cunt. when he found he he pressed in slightly. you showed him he was right by sighing and arching your back.

“it’s lower than i thought.” anton laughed quietly to himself.

“yeah.” you said breathlessly.

you were caught up in the feeling of anton’s probing fingers so close to being fully inside of you. you almost forgot you had a job to do as anton’s bestfriend.

“start off with just one finger. your hands are big.” you say.

anton pushes in a finger, looking up at you as he eases in. you clamp around his fingers before relaxing, allowing him to go all the way inside of you. anton pulls his finger out before pushing it back in, watching the way his digit disappears inside of you.

“holy shit.” anton whispers.

you clench around his finger, before telling him to put another finger in. anton heeds your request, adding his middle finger to sink into your cunt. you can’t stop your hand from grabbing his bicep. anton stops, and you guide him to a faster pace. 

your hold on anton’s bicep doesn’t falter as he picks up the speed. when he takes it upon himself to face his palm upwards the discomfort in his wrist is gone immediately. his fingers can fuck you smoothly when he faces his palm upwards. the confidence anton gets when you close your eyes and turn your head to your shoulder makes him add another finger. he can hear your toes crack as you flex your feet, and anton sees your free hand ball up in the sheets.

“do this with your other hand if you can.” 

the words fly out of your mouth at your hand on anton’s bicep goes to your clit. you show anton the speed you like immediately, touching the pearl gently in comparison to anton’s hasty pumping fingers. his free hand goes to your hand, mimicking the movements. when you’re satisfied you move your hand away, letting anton take your place. he falters for a little bit, trying to synchronize his pumping fingers to his gentle hand on your clit. soon enough he can feel you squeezing tightly against his fingers, and your eyes are screwed shut.

“i’m so close.” you say around the teeth digging into your lip.

anton nods, wishing he was good enough at multitasking to kiss your turned cheek. instead anton only nods, sitting down on his bed to get a better angle.

without his body between your legs, your knees close in on eachother. it’s pathetic, the way you whimper and withhold moans as you come undone around anton’s fingers. you’re so quiet he doesn’t know you came. so anton continues, waiting for you to call out his name and announce to him how good he’s making you feel. anton doesn’t know you came until near cries come out, and your hands go to his wrists to stop him. anton looks at you confused, until he sees the tears dotting your vision again and your shaking shoulders. anton experimentally presses a finger harshly to your clit, you jolt and whimper again.

“sorry.” anton says unapologetically.

you fall onto your back, looking up at anton’s ceiling fan. it’s completely turned off, you imagine the blades are spinning to try and occupy your mind. your knees are still closed on eachother and you tremble occasionally. you put all your brainpower into the nonmoving blades to distract yourself from anton’s hands on your thighs that spread you further apart. you can feel yourself clenching around nothing. when his breath fans your center you shiver, still dealing with the after effects of your orgasm. when anton comes so close that his nose pokes your fold you pinch the covers on his bed between your two fingers.

“what should i do?” anton asks.

even if you are not looking at anton, you can tell he’s not all the way there with you. you can feel his eyes boring into your heat, you can almost hear him bringing in your smell. you have to clear your own thoughts to focus getting words out from your dry throat.

“you have to tease first.” you swallow on nothing. “to like build the tension, ya know?”

you don’t know when you’ll drop the act of trying to remain nonchalant. hiding your moans requires self control you don’t have anymore. when anton presses a kiss to your thigh you let him hear the sighs you tried so hard to suppress. anton smiles against your skin when he kisses the other side.

“how should i eat you out?” anton asks.

you prop yourself up on your elbows to look down at anton. he’s curious, eyes filled with you as he presses a kiss closer to your cunt. you bring your your legs to rest on his shoulders.

“pretending like you’re making out with me.” you whimper.

anton’s eyes widen at your desperate voice. you can’t bring yourself to care anymore, you can’t hold back when anton keeps eye contact with you as his tongue gets closer and closer to your heat. he looks down at your pussy like it’s his next meal, latching his lips to your clit and sucking. 

instantly your back is pressed into the mattress again, squirming as you try to stop yourself from thrusting into anton’s mouth. he’s a step ahead, putting hands underneath your ass to prop your lower half up. he goes into his own groove, letting his tongue occasionally poke past your hole to taste you. when anton compares your noises, he finds himself driven to continue sucking on your clit. he knows he made the right decision when he hears your moan rip through his room for the first time. he looks up to your with satisfaction, when he starts using his fingers to fuck you again your hand grips his hair tightly.

“are you sure you’re a virgin?” you ask genuinely.

when anton’s laugh vibrates against you, you dig your back into the mattress. you pathetically lift your suspended hips into anton’s mouth. you feel euphoria building over you again, and you push antons face back from your pussy with a hand to his forehead.

anton looks at you like a man starved before licking his lips.

“is everything okay?” anton asks.

you nod, a hand going to your face as you wipe sweat away. you close your eyes to save yourself from the stimulation, remaining quiet until your foggy mind can form full sentences again. you sit up fully on the bed and anton’s meets you, bringing you in to kiss him again. you can taste yourself on his lips, and you can feel his wet fingers touch your face. when you pull away you still keep your lips against his.

“do you want to wait until next week—” you look at anton unsure, feeling his hot cheeks underneath the pads of your fingers. you don’t want to assume his feelings for you, or take something he might’ve been saving for someone that isn’t his bestfriend. “do you want to wait until next week to go all the way?” you ask

anton shakes his head, both of his hands going to the side of your head to force eye contact. you look him in the eyes before he brings you in for another big kiss. 

“i think i found the confidence to tell you how i feel now.” anton says.

“i’ve wanted you for so long.” you say.

anton nods his head, telling you he’s felt the same way.

“we are a mess.” anton says laughing.

you laugh with him again, your head going to anton’s shoulder as you recall all the moments you both chose to ignore. the fleeting looks, the accidental touches, the almost kisses. it’s almost embarrassing that it took you guys this long to come to terms and to confess, under these circumstances nonetheless. it would’ve been embarrassing if it wasn’t so funny. 

anton pulls you from his shoulder and kisses your forehead again, and you grab his face to kiss his forehead back. anton smiles and pecks your lips.

“i’m ready.” anton says.

you nod your head, trying to sound as assertive as possible.

“the guy should always bring a condom.” you say it matter-of-factly, holding up a finger like it’s a fact.

anton laughs at you again, before reaching to his drawer. he pulls out an unopened box of condoms, mouth opening getting ready to ask anton a question.

“my dad.” when your eyes widen anton only shakes his head. “don’t ask. please don’t ask.” he says.

you nod your head, grabbing the box from anton to open it. you pull out the first one, tearing it from the foil like and the opening the package. anton watches you pull out the rubber, small in your hand. you look at anton, still clothed, clad in tight jeans that strain against his dick and a shirt that is too hot on him. as if on cue he stumbles over the edge of the bed, taking off his pants and shirt leaving him in his briefs.

when he gets on the bed in the same position, you still hold the condom in your hand. you look at anton twitching in his boxers. you resist the urge to pounce on him when you see the wet patch in his underwear.

“can i see it?” you don’t hide the desperate lift in your voice. anton is nervous, hands pressed flat to his thighs in efforts to wipe off the sweat. “please?” you beg.

anton nods, leaning back on the bed the same way you did when he took your underwear off. you lean forward on the bed, handing the condom to anton and you gently pull his waistband down his legs. you imagine anton wanted to be treated the same way he treated you, slow and gentle like you’re made of glass. by the time his underwear is off his face is red in splotches, the tips of his ears hot to the touch. you would’ve seen anton’s face get more red by the second if you weren’t staring at his dick, it was thick, shooting straight up without the confinements of his briefs. his tip was pink and soft like his lips, and beading endless with precum. the translucent pearls made his dick look like porcelain. you smile at anton before sticking touching his leaking tip gently. 

“so pretty.” you coo.

anton shakes his head, his large hand clasping around your wrist when you tried pumping his dick. his sensitivity went without saying, and you didn’t want to waste it either. you tapped on anton’s wrist to make him open his eyes, pointing to the condom in his clenched hand when he looked at you.

“sorry.” anton said. 

“don’t apologize.” you pinch the tip of the condom, sliding the band down until anton’s dick is covered completely. “you don’t have to apologize to me.”

anton hisses, bucking his hips up when you experimentally squeeze his length.

“and why is that?” anton asks.

“i’m your bestfriend.” you say casually.

when friend falls from your lips anton scoffs and shakes his head. he checks to see if the condom is on securely, touching his length to see what contact feels like.

“think we are a little more than that now.” anton says under his breath. 

you coo at him, pinching his cheeks before letting your hands explore the rest of his body. when you reach anton’s shoulders you gently tug at him, bringing him to you. you let yourself lean back on anton’s bed again as you continue pulling him by his shoulders. when your back is against the sheets anton is hovering over you, and he’s so close that his hair touches your face. he moves a hand to plant into the mattress beside your head to hold himself upright. his other hand grips your hip, a hold so tight like anton thinks you’ll slip away. you’re the same, a white knuckle grip on his shoulders. 

you look up at anton, and he swears he sees your eyes soften. they’re gentle and welcoming, like your pupils have become heart shaped. anton uses his hand planted into the mattress to move some hair from your face. you pucker your lips and make a kissing sound, signaling to anton to press his lips against yours. when he pulls back you take a hand from his shoulder and trail it down his body. you look at him with each inch you cover. when anton bites his lip you hesitate, worried that he might suddenly decide he’s not ready. but anton hangs his head low to look between your two bodies, how close your hand is to grabbing his dick again.

he whimpers and instantly goes to the crook of your neck, his sheets balling up in his clenched fists. you pump his dick a few times, wishing to yourself that a condom wasn’t separating the two of you. there will be plenty of time for that later you have to tell yourself. you focus instead on anton, how he hopelessly sucks on the skin of your neck as you jerk him off.

“i really won’t last long.” anton says.

his words are hushed and fan across your skin in warm huffs. you nod, moving your other hand to the back of anton’s head.

“it’s okay.” you continue jerking anton off until he lets out a shaky exhale. you stop pumping, pulling his head from the crook of your neck so you can look at him. “can you help me?” you ask sweetly.

instantly anton nods his head.

“what do you need me to do?” anton asks.

for a moment he thinks he might be crushing you underneath his body weight. before he can pull back your hand that moved to his shoulder blades keeps him in pace. you’re sheepish, the hand that was on anton’s dick goes to his hand that’s on your hip. you wrap your hands around his pinky finger, holding tight as you tug at his hand slightly.

“let’s put it in together.” you say.

anton swallows, both of your hands are slow going back to his dick. the anticipation has you both ready to leap out of your skin, and when you put your hands to anton both of you gasp. it’s a new feeling, your hand over anton’s as he guides his tip to your cunt. you already feel your hole fluttering around nothing, pulsing like a heartbeat. anton has to take his hand away when he gets too close, instead propping his elbow beside your head so he can hover above you. 

his lips are already parted, and you see the glossy look in his eyes as you pump his length a few more times.

“are you ready?“ you ask.

you feel nearly out of breath yourself. when you move lower down on the bed anton’s tip prods your entrance, almost inside of you.

“i’m ready.” anton says.

you almost close your eyes when you feel anton push his hips against yours—the only thing that keeps them open is so your can look at anton above you. his eyes shut in euphoria as he pushes deeper into you. you don’t tell anton to stop while taking all of him, you revel in the stretch and the way his eyebrows furrow and his lips part even more. a whimper slips past anton’s lips and he lets his head hand when he’s all the way in. he whimpers again when you seize around him, and a big hand squeezes on your waist.

“so big.” you whisper to anton.

he stays like that above you for awhile, falling victim to your warm wet fluttering walls and your sweet voice. his grip on your waist is rough but it the only thing keeping him grounded. anton twitches inside of you and he clenches the first next to your head. each attempt to move fails, it’s almost like you’re pulling him back in.

“can i move?” anton asks.

when he lifts his head back up, he sees you wide eyed nodding vigorously. you lift your own hips slightly, giving anton room to pull back to meet you again. he draws a shaky breath as he feels his dick dragging out of you. when he slides back in slowly anton’s head goes to the crook of your neck. your hand goes to anton’s back, pressing gently to bring him closer.

“what does it feel like?” you draw your hips back and forth, giving anton shallow thrusts. 

“warm and wet.” anton’s voice shakes as he slowly starts thrusting into you. “like a really nice hug.” he says.

you hum at anton’s observation, desperate to know what it feels like to him. you want to tell anton how good he��s being, how he fits perfectly inside of you and makes you feel full. but this is about anton, you have plenty of time to tell him how he makes you feel later.

you wedge your hand between your bodies and press on your stomach, letting out a sigh when you feel your stomach tighten. anton keeps the slow deep thrusts, panting into the crook of your neck. when he snaps his hips a particular way, an unexpected choked whine slips past your lips. anton pulls away from your skin looking down at you.

anton’s blown out eyes look down at you. you can already see his face becoming red and splotchy as he takes you in. he looks at your lips, where a sound he’s never heard before came from and to your eyes that were wet just like his. the previous accidental thrust becomes purposeful, anton snaps his hips the same way he did before while looking at your face. the sound falls from you again, and you have to fight to keep your eyes open. anton does it again, and you can see his hair and the apples of his cheeks move from the force. the fourth time anton snaps his hips harder, and your back arches off the bed.

“so big.” you say into anton’s ear. 

you press your hand deeper into your stomach, ad anton presses his forehead to yours to look down between your two bodies. he looks only for a second before his hooded eyes go back to yours.

his mouth opens as he looks down at you, words caught in his throat as he focuses on thrusting inside of you. but you already know what he’s going to ask. you press your hand deeper into your stomach while nodding your head.

“so deep.” you whine.

anton’s parted lips turn into a smile, a quick smirk that reveals his perfect teeth. you only see it for a second before anton goes back to feeling weak. anton switches his snapping hips to something more languid, trading the harsh slapping for the smooth and wet sound you two make together. 

anton’s hair is wet with sweat as you fist it, pulling it away from his face so you can see all of him. you keep his head against yours, pressing gentle kisses to his plush lips.

“you feel so good inside of me, anton.” you tell him.

he can only nod quickly, drops of sweat falling onto you as he picks up the pace. your hand that pressed into your stomach moves to your clit. when you touch the bundle of nerves the moans fall from your lips, moving anton to do the same thing. his sounds are airy gasps, almost crying while yours become pouty.

the two of you no longer speak while you chase your instincts. anton’s languid thrusts turn to rutting hips, and all your reservations flies out the window as you bring your knee to your chest. anton’s hand on your hip helps you, applying force to the back of your thigh to press it closer. the new angle makes anton fuck you deeper and harder, you give up circling your clit to put both hands on anton for stability. he lifts his body from yours slightly, looking down at all of you. when you feel his eyes drift down from your face to your chest, you arch your back to come closer to his mouth. anton gives you a quick look of uncertainty and you soften your features to show him how desperate you feel, how close you are. you don’t get the chance to beg for something more when anton bends his body to attach his lips to your nipple.

you’re quick reacting to anton wet tongue that laves your senstive skin. you’re propping yourself up on one of your elbows in a second, forcing your hand to grip anton’s sheets to find stability. you arch your back and fist anton’s hair, the stimulation from his rutting hips and teeth grazing your sensitive skin makes you pull his hair at the root.

“i’m so close.” you whimper.

you look down at anton, how he is so content sucking on your chest. when he looks up at you with little hearts swimming around in his big brown eyes you let your head lean back. 

it’s too fast, you can’t announce you’re cumming before it hits you in full force. your leg twitches as anton’s grip on your thigh tightens, pushing you further to open you up more. he hits deep, and your cries bounce off the walls in his room. you are nearly crying when anton stills inside of you—he didn’t get the chance to warn you either. one moment he had control the next he didn’t, emptying into the condom as your name falls from his parted lips in pants and high-pitched whines. anton has to screw his eyes shut from the relief that takes over his body, and when he finally comes down he slumps against your body completely.

you let anton crush you, loving the feeling of his sweaty body pressing into yours. you can still feel him twitching inside of you and you can still feel your walls flutter around him. 

neither of you move until you hear the front door open and anton’s mom call you both down to help bring the groceries inside. the two of you were so caught up in your own world you forgot other people existed. you nearly kicked anton off of you, pushing him backwards so you could put your clothes back on. anton’s door was left open, and you could hear his brother making his way up the stairs. the two of you rushed trying to become decent. you threw on anton’s shirt and almost put your jeans on backwards. anton ended up grabbing a completely new outfit, tripping over his feet as he put his shorts on.

the steps were getting closer to anton’s room when you guys started to desperately smooth out eachother’s features, trying to lay anton’s hair down straight while anton time making his shirt on you not look like his shirt.

his brother did a once over of you and anton, standing in the middle of his room looking frazzled. he decided he didn’t care, walking out of sight as he went into his room.

“mom said to come downstairs.” he said over his shoulder.

“okay.” when anton’s voice sounded too hoarse he cleared his throat. “be down there in a second.” anton said.

[jinnie-ret]

9th member whos family is extremely unsupportive of their career choices, skz do their best to cheer them up after a loud argument that the boys overhear. their family is rude and downright mean to their 9th member and they cant let them be put down by their family so they remind her that theyre her family. love your writing.

family is complicated

stray kids x ninth member!reader (platonic)

genre: angst, fluff

content warnings: emotionally abusive parents

word count: 1.6k

summary: after your troubling phone call is overhead by all of the boys, they comfort you and reassure you that they are your true family

Thank you sm for your request!! I hope you enjoy this one too :)))

MAIN MASTERLIST

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"Y/Nnie! Lunch is ready," Chan called the maknae into the kitchen, plating up some food for her. Although they lived in different dorms now, Y/N staying with 3RACHA and Hyunjin, and Lee Know and Felix staying with VocalRACHA, they decided to do a whole group meal today.

Everyone was sat waiting at the table, before a sluggish looking Y/N padded into the kitchen, wiping sleep away from her eyes.

"Aw bless her, she looks exhausted," Felix whispered and frowned to Han, who nodded along.

"It's her mum and dad again, don't mention them yeah?" Han quietly replied, offering a light smile to Y/N when she plonked herself down into the chair opposite him.

"Mmm, what's for breakfast?" Y/N blinked her eyes rapidly, where redness could be seen around the lids. After an endless streams of texts from her parents last night, she cried herself to sleep, the boys doing their best to comfort her before she allowed herself to break down.

"It's lunch time, silly," Hyunjin fondly giggled as he ruffled her hair and placed a cup of tea down in front of her. "Here, peppermint tea, I know it's your favourite."

"Thanks Jinnie," Y/N tilted her head upwards and he smiled and scrunched his nose at her in response.

"It's nice having lunch together like this, I feel like we haven't done it in a while," Jeongin commented, twirling some ramen with his chopsticks.

"We had fried chicken at the company like two days ago," Changbin pointed out and laughed.

"Yeah but it's different being sat around the table with a home cooked meal," Lee Know nodded and agreed with Jeongin.

"It's different now, like sometimes I get a facetime and just have Seungmin staring at me whilst he eats like," Han starts laughing, and mimics the face the puppy like member of the group would pull.

"What do you think about eating on your own, Seungmin? Now that we've split into different dorms," Chan asked curiously from one end of the table.

"I love it so much," Seungmin genuinely and joyfully says, causing everyone to break out into laugh, Hyunjin's iconic cackle sticking out amongst them all. Even Y/N, in a tired quiet mood, broke out into a smile.

But that happy mood, was torn in half by the ringtone that blared from Y/N's phone. She picked up her phone and sighed when she saw the contact name, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Are you ok, Y/N?" Minho queried gently from next to her, making his tone more caring and comforting like he always did when he spoke to her. She was similar to Felix in that she had a sensitive heart.

"I'm f-fine, umm, I've got to take this," Y/N scoots out of her chair from the dining table, and walks round the corner from the kitchen into the hallway that followed down to their individual bedrooms.

"I'm worried about her," Jeongin spoke up, a frown tugging on his features, the corners of his mouth pulled downwards.

"I swear if that's her parents-" Changbin gritted his teeth.

"When will you come home and leave that useless job behind you?"

"Mum, why do you always do this to me? I'm doing something that I truly love and you always dismiss it!"

"I don't care about what you enjoy doing. You're not thinking about your family. How could you leave us like this? It's disrespectful. You've betrayed us!"

"I send money to you every month! I support you! I do everything I can, mum!"

"Your everything isn't good enough, Y/N. You're an embarrassment to the whole family."

"Mum don't say that!"

Then there was the sound of the phone call being hung up on, and Y/N quickly dashed past the opening of the hallway to rush into the bathroom.

"Don't tell me what I can and cannot do, girl. I thought you may have changed your mind after my wise words last night, but I can see you're still as stupid and ignorant as ever."

"Y/N-" Han stood up to stop her and grab her attention, but she had already slammed the door.

"Have they always been that bad?" Seungmin questioned, appalled at the phone call they all overheard.

In her tired state, Y/N must have put the call on loudspeaker, and not realised that the boys had heard it too.

"I knew they were bad but... hearing her own mother yell at her like that... I thought the texts were bad," Chan sighed and shook his head. His hands rested on the table and he cracked his knuckles together.

"Why, what happened with the texts? Hannie said just to act normal but..." Felix brought up what he had said earlier.

"Yesterday she got some threatening texts from her dad, telling her he'd fly over to Seoul and personally drag her back home, and if she didn't 'comply and obey him' he'd make sure that she'd 'pay for it'," Hyunjin sighed, quoting the exact words he read from Y/N's phone himself.

"That bastard threatened violence?!" Lee Know exclaimed in disbelief, his fist clenched tightly around the edge of the table.

"We should check on her," Jeongin got up as he shook his head, walking round to the bathroom and knocking on the door. "Y/Nnie? Do you want to talk about what happened, love? We all heard," he added onto the end.

"No, it's fine, Innie. I'm ok, please don't come in," Y/N's voice cracked. "I just want some time to myself," she whimpered from the cold bathroom floor, rocking back and forth as she tried to process the words her own mother threw at her once more. Her mind was frantically pulling her in all sorts of different directions, saying 'what if' a thousand times.

"Sweetheart, please talk to us, we're worried about you," Felix's deep voice came from the other side of the door.

"I'm fine," Y/N sniffled, shakily standing up as her head pounded from all of the stress.

"You're not, we can hear it in your voice, Y/Nnie," Lee Know said firmly, a hint of frustration in his voice but only because he cared about her so much.

"Please open the door, Y/N," Jeongin tried again, hand resting against the door.

"She's not going to, mate," Bang Chan sighed, slumping down into the sofa, stretching out his neck and body. "She said she wants to be alone."

But then, the lock to the bathroom door clicked, revealing an exhausted looking Y/N who had tear streams down her face, as well as red eyes and a red nose.

"I don't want to talk about it," Y/N could barely look up at the three members that had been stood outside of the bathroom waiting for her.

"That's fine, just come sit with us, yeah?" Felix grabbed her hand gently.

"Don't shut us out, please," Lee Know ducked his head down to look into her eyes, and the girl nodded, still looking down at her feet. He rested his hand on her lower back as they encouraged her to head through to the lounge.

"Come here," Hyunjin opened his arms immediately as soon as she entered the room and just like that she was glued to his side.

"Y/N, I know you won't want to talk about it, but let us talk to you, ok?" Changbin started, "The way you have been treated by your parents, is by all means, not ok."

"And we want you to know, because we heard what your mum said, you are enough for us," Seungmin added on.

Their kind words caused her to let out a sob, and she heard coos and hushes around her of 'oh, Y/N!'.

"Darling, please don't get upset," Han crouched down in front of Y/N and wiped her tears away, and Hyunjin's arms tightened around her.

"I-it's just, it's-" Y/N couldn't get her words out before another sob ripped from her throat.

"Y/Nnie, breathe, it's ok love, take your time," Chan gently spoke up, causing her to listen to his words and actively take some deep breaths.

"We won't let you feel down ever again from the things they had said or done to you," Lee Know promised.

"We're your family, Y/Nnie," Jeongin cracked a small smile, eyes glistening with tears of his own.

"I wish you had been my family from the start. I feel like I've wasted so much of my life already," Y/N cried out, her hands digging into her legs.

"Oh, if we could have been a group from the start I'm sure we would have. Just think this, you've got us now. I know it's easier said then done, but don't worry about the past. Let's just think about our future, ok?" Changbin said from next to her on the sofa, gently pulling her hands away from her lap to prevent her from causing more harm.

"But what if-" Y/N stuttered and stopped herself from continuing once more.

"There are no what ifs with us, Y/N," Hyunjin rubbed circles into her shoulders.

"Yeah, you're stuck with us now," Han joked, trying to lighten the mood, and it worked.

For a few more moments you revelled in the comfort of being with your members, your family before going on with the rest of your day. And if anyone asked Chan if he blocked your mum and dad's phone numbers, he'd say no, of course. If they were really worried, they had other ways of getting in contact. It wouldn't hurt anyone. Just make your lives easier as a family.

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @backintomykpopphaseagain @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky

[dreamescapeswriting]

Stray Kids Reaction || Sewing Hearts On Their Sleeves

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - September 2023

⤜MASTERLIST

CHAN:

It had been a long three weeks without seeing you in person and it was starting to put a strain on Chan's work, because how could he write music when you were his muse and you weren't here to inspire him? He sighed a little trying not to get too stressed about everything, he could always start fresh tomorrow and that was when his phone buzzed beside him.

You: Don't forget to go home early, you need some sleep xx

The text flashed on the screen and Chan smiled to himself, it was about ten so he could head home to the dorms now and get some sleep. As he began packing everything up he stopped and stared down at the hoodie that was sitting on the sofa behind him. It wasn't completely obvious but sitting on the right cuff of his sleeve were two little hearts sewn into the fabric, a blue and pink heart and his heart clenched a little at the thought of you spending the time to do that.

MINHO:

The boys relentlessly teased Minho for wearing the hoodie you'd sewn hearts into but he adored it. Not only was it cute but the hoodie smelled like you so he always knew what to do whenever he was missing you.

"Who would have guessed that Minho was a softy." Jisung teased as he watched his older member take out the hoodie from his wardrobe and change into it, taking in a deep breath before visibly relaxing in front of everyone's eyes.

"I can't help it," He mumbled a little glancing at the boys who were all smirking in his direction now.

"They've barely been gone two days," Chan teased before a pillow was launched in his direction by Minho who went back to snuggling into the hoodie.

CHANGBIN:

There had to be over five different hoodies that you'd sewn cute little hearts into, and then there had to be more T-shirts as well and Changbin took every single one of them on tour with him. He did it so that he could feel close to you while you were so far away from each other,

"Are you wearing the heart shirt?!" You squealed, Changbin had called and while you were talking he'd posted a photo of him at the gym. He was dressed in one of the shirts you'd sewn a bunch of hearts onto the chest of.

"I've worn one every chance I've got," He laughed a little before you giggled excitedly at the thought of your boyfriend doing that just because he missed you.

HYUNJIN:

"What are you doing?" You laughed as your boyfriend came rushing into the living room you shared and dropped - what had to be every single shirt and jumper he owned at your feet.

"Can you do it to every single one?" You stared at him a little dumbfounded,

"Hyunjin, I'd be here forever. Do you know how many clothes you own?!" You teased before he sat down beside you, looking at the careful needle work you'd been doing on the sleeve of one of his hoodies.

"Okay...Maybe a couple of my favourites, then I can always have you with me," He pouted a little before you nodded, kissing his pouting lips and watching in amusement as your boyfriend found out all of his favourite pieces.

JISUNG:

You thought Jisung was upset with you at first, he'd come in from work to find you sitting cross-legged on the bedroom floor with your sewing kit around you and his favourite hoodie in hand. Before you could explain what it was you were doing he'd run out of the room and you hadn't seen him since.

"I bought yours," Jisung said as he came back into the room, sitting in front of you and matching your exact position,

"Now we can have matching hoodies." He said as he pointed to the heart on his sleeve and then held out the hoodie for you to start sewing another matching heart into.

"You sure?" You teased, you knew he'd been wanting matching clothes for ages now but could never figure a way around it until now.

"I want matching clothes with you," He whined before you kissed him and began to get to work.

FELIX:

As soon as fans started to see Felix wearing the hoodie they all began to question him on where he got it from since none of them could find it online. Your relationship was still a secret for now and he was nervous about telling them he'd been the one to sew them into it since he would be taking credit for your hard work.

"Tell them, baby, it's fine." You laughed as he asked you if you were sure for the millionth time that day, he gave you a sad look.

"I love them, I love you, and You and I both know who really did it." He told you before kissing you and smiling a little as he blushed.

"I do. Now go," You whined pushing him toward the bedroom where the phone was waiting for him to go live.

SEUNGMIN:

"You're gross," You grumbled to Seungmin as you watched him cradle the hoodie to his chest and shake his head at you. It was in desperate need of a wash, You knew why he didn't want you to wash it but it needed it and you weren't going to let him get away with a dirty hoodie.

"Babe, it has stains all over it." You mumbled trying to take it from his grasp but he only seemed to tighten his hold on it and you sighed at him.

"What if I agree to do another hoodie for you? Will that mean I can wash this one?" As soon as you suggested it Seungmin dropped the hoodie and smirked at you, running to go and find a different one for you to sew into.

JEONGIN:

Sewing things into your clothes had been something you'd picked up over the years, it started when you had nothing else to do while watching a show and now it was something you just did for fun. Which was why it was surprising to you when Jeongin begged you to do it to some of his clothes,

"Can you do little hearts? Two of them! In our favourite colours!" He yelled from the bedroom as he came out with two black hoodies, one for you and one for him and a giant smile spread across his cheeks. How could you ever say no to that?

Tagline: @chiisaiblog @hanasonmi @sw33tnight @taestannie @acciocriativity @scarletemeterio @halesandy @aerastus @laylasbunbunny @critssq @lenfilms @btsiguess-kpop @meowmeowisdaname @imafivestarkpopstan @lost-leopard-beanie @illicee @djeniryuu @backintomykpopphaseagain @choisoorin

[mncxbe]

ANNE DONT MIND ME PLS you write so good and reading these drabbles made me want to request one of my own !!

imagine professor!dazai giving u an extra lesson after class 🤭 it's 12 from the list btw <3

CHIYO MY DEAR♡ i'm so happy you requested this one. hope you like it. I made Dazai a literature professor👀♡

12 — Professor!char giving you an extra lesson after class

ღೀ๋࣭ ⭑𝒄𝒘: lowkey unethical, sex toys, semi-public space, creampie

"Keep reading, bella, you're halfway there."

Your professor's voice carried a hint of mockery as he soothed your thigh with a hand, pushing the silicone toy deeper inside you. You winced at the sensation, shooting Dazai a desperate glance over your shoulder.

Osamu Dazai was the new literature professor at your college– some prodigy kid who finished his PHD by the age of 25 and whose novels sold like hot cakes and now everyone was singing him praise. Frankly, you weren't too impressed by his accomplishments, but he was the only professor in the whole faculty who actually encouraged you to write something different, out of the norm; so you did anything to stay on his good side.

Even if it meant helping him around the office and fucking him from time to time. Not that you'd complain, Dazai was incredibly good looking and knew how to please a woman.

So naturally, when your professor asked you to come to his office after class you expected a quick fuck, as usual.

But the smug bastard had you bent over his desk with your panties lowered mid-thigh and a vibrator shoved up your pussy, making you read the assignments your colleagues turned in while he made snide comments on the side.

"Was that supposed to be a metaphor? 'The mist of the summer evening' what's that supposed to mean? God, I swear these texts are getting worse and worse..."

"Ngh– 'samu please" you whined, shifting your hips "Can't we just do this later?" The ache between your legs was almost unbearable, you needed him inside you, not that stupid toy.

"Sorry, bella, I have to grade this paper by 6. The kid's coming to discuss it" he mused, watching your walls clench around the toy with keen eyes. God, your pussy was divine– his pants were tightening just by looking at you.

Reaching a hand towards you, Dazai touched your folds, gathering your slick and smearing it all over the inner part of your thighs. "My, my, you're dripping, dear. Better hurry up and finish reading if you want me to fuck you properly" His deft digits found your bundle of nerves and gave it teasing flicks.

Your mind was starting to get foggy, the sentences melting into a jumble of letters as you struggled to read the last paragraph out loud. It was painfully embarrassing, the way your body jolted up as he drew slow circles on your clit with his thumb, how desperate you were to have him inside you. All the while, Dazai was toying with you, playing with your pussy like it was his favourite toy.

The second you were done with your paper you let it fall on the desk next to you. "Done, I'm done." you huffed out, looking over your shoulder to see Dazai's teasing smile.

"Good job, bella. I think it's worth at least 60 points. I mean, it's a progress from the last assignment he turned in. What do you think?"

I think you should stop messing around and fuck me already– you wanted to say back but all that came out of your mouth was a breathy yes, sir. i'd say so too.

The man got up from his chair and slowly ran a hand through your hair. You could hear him unbuckle his belt and lower the zipper of his suit pants, your hips swaying in anticipation. "You're such a pretty girl" he hummed, removing the toy from your pussy with a wet pop and alligning himself at your entrance "And obedient too. I think you deserve a reward ah shiit—"

A broken whine slipped from his lips as he slammed himself inside you, the grip he had on your hips growing fiercer. Fuck, your cunt was basically sucking him in. You were so damn perfect he swore he could spend all day fucking you and it wouldn't be enough.

Your moans filled the tiny office, the smell of your arousal lingering in the air, fueling the man's need. His hips snapped against yours, the tip of his cock hitting your sweet spot with each thrust. "Y-you're so tight bella think 'm gonna– fuck i'm gonna cum soon"

"Me too me too 'samu" you mewled as the tight knot in the pit of your stomach snapped and you came around his cock, soaking it in your juices.

It wasn't a surprise you came so fast, he'd been edging you for hours and you were so sensitive. Even now as your walls pulsed around him, Dazai's fingers found your puffy clit and your body jolted up. "W-wait 'samu you can't I just–"

"Want you to cum again with me, donna. Can you do that for me?" he huffed out and your pussy fluttered at the sound of his breathy, whiny moans, pressure building up in your core again.

When the two of you reached your high again, his hips halted flush against yours, his milky cum shooting deep inside you. The man's breath was ragged and he hissed when he slightly pulled out, watching the sticky substance form a ring at the base of his cock as it dribbled out of your hole.

Something sparked inside him at that moment and he quickly flipped you over, caging you between his arms as he leaned over your frame. Droplets of sweat clung to the tips of his hair as he pressed his forehead against yours "Can we do it again?"

"But Dazai we just–" you wanted to protest but he cut you off with a deep thrust, making you choke out a moan.

"Don't care bella you don't understand what you do to me I can't get enough of you" he sighed, slowly, almost lovingly, rocking his hips against yours, his lips ghosting over your cheeks, jaw and down the expanse of your neck, making you shudder. You'd lie if you said that his confession didn't stir something inside you too.

Before you could answer, a knock on the door snapped both of you out of the intimate moment you were sharing. "Um... professor? You said I could come by at 6 so we can discuss my paper"

𐙚prompts closed

[drvirgus]

hi; can i request a haerin one shot where you and the members of newjeans are task to babysit (like in the return of the superman where artists would appear to spend some time with the kids) and one of the kids have hearing disabilities and y/n can sign language and communicate with the kid through sign language and all of the members are impressed but haerin just fall in love with you more as she see you communicate with the kid to the point the kid were attach to you🥹 just hearin be like “thats my girl” - sorry if its too long hehe

I‘m so sorry that it took so long🥲 my laptop is broken but I wrote this fast chapter at work 🤔 hopefully you like it 🤞🏼

The Babysitters

Idol! Haerin X Idol! Reader

wc: 2k

a/n: the colored sentences are in sign language

————————————————————————————

With a sigh, I sat in the car, Haerin's hand in mine as I simply looked out the window. Danielle was the first to start laughing when she heard my sigh. "Oh, come on. I really don't understand how you can't like kids," Danielle said as she turned her head towards me. My attention now on Danielle, I replied somewhat annoyed, "Kids are just like drunken adults. Always have to watch out for them."

I immediately felt the pressure of my girlfriend's hand. Her head lifted from my shoulder to look at me better. "I always have to watch out for you when you're drunk," she said, which made Hanni and Minji laugh. I blush a little as I simply put my index finger to my lips and said, "Shh," making Haerin roll her eyes with a smile.

"Besides, we have a baby," I said, which made Hanni laugh again and nudge Hyein. Hyein snorted and I said, "Watching out for Hanni is already a hassle." Hanni looked at me with an open mouth, and Hyein immediately laughed and nudged her.

"It'll only take a day, Unnie," Minji said, looking up from her phone.

I just nodded, not wanting to discuss the topic further. I had complained enough already. Apparently, the others were quite satisfied with the show we would be shooting today.

"Can't we go back to the dogs? They're cuter," I said, which made Haerin nod. Her fingers played with mine, her head still on my shoulder. I smiled as I gave the younger one a gentle kiss on the head.

The rest of the car ride wasn't anything special. Hyein and Hanni watched some Instagram Reels together on Hyein's phone, Minji seemed to be texting someone, while Danielle simply looked out the window. Haerin and I were in our own little bubble, just playfully intertwining our fingers.

The car stopped, and our manager promptly opened the door for us. My hand immediately left Haerin's as I allowed myself to be pulled out of the car, of course, by Danielle.

Together, we entered the building, all eyes on the man in front of us who would explain everything to us. Naturally, he also told us the names of the children and that there was an age group from 2-year-olds to 5-year-olds. I nodded in understanding. Now, apparently, we were allowed to mentally prepare ourselves in the adjacent room while they prepared the set.

"Aw. No babies?" Danielle asked as she pouted and sat down on one of the chairs. Minji chuckled, her hands on her hips. "Babies would have been preferable to me too," the black-haired girl said. My eyes also immediately fell on Haerin, who stood in the completely different corner of the room, her eyes already fixed on me, which made me smile.

"And you? What would you prefer?" I asked, which made Haerin hum a little. She raised her head thoughtfully.

"I don't mind any," she replied after a short pause, which made me nod my head with a smile.

Immediately, Hanni and Hyein also voiced their preferences. The door opened, and we were now allowed to enter the room where the children sat, played, and laughed. Danielle squealed with delight, which amused me and made me shake my head in amusement.

All the children's eyes turned to us, and almost immediately, a boy approached Danielle and dragged her to the play blocks without even asking. I watched the younger one go and smiled a little. Danielle looked really happy. Besides, she was perfect for this job. She was always cheerful, unlike me. I was more... mostly always in a bad mood?

Minji clapped her hands, immediately grabbing the attention of some children. Minji smiled kindly. "Who wants to arm wrestle with Unnie?" she asked cheerfully, and almost immediately, several children jumped up from their chairs, raising their hands and shouting their names loudly.

I hated how loud kids could get, but... they were having fun, so that was okay. At least no one was crying. Hyein and Haerin also mingled and now interacted with the children, but I still just stood there, observing the whole situation.

Suddenly, I heard loud crying right next to me, and my eyes widened in shock as I looked at the young girl, her mouth wide open as she held her fists to her eyes and cried.

With my mouth hanging open, I looked at the crying child and slowly crouched down. A nervous smile on my lips, I asked, "What's wrong?" which seemed to only make the child cry more. Blinking rather surprised, unsure of what exactly I should do, I said, "Uh, everything will be okay. There's nothing dangerous here," trying to comfort the little one.

The girl pointed her finger at me and said, "This Unnie is angry," suddenly, and my eyebrows raised.

I heard Hyein laugh a bit, but she quickly was nudged by Minji warningly. I swallowed. "N-No, I'm not angry," I said, which apparently didn't help. Sighing, I took my hands and pulled my cheeks apart to make a funny face. "I'm just playful," I added with a feigned high-pitched voice. The girl seemed to calm down slowly, although she still had a bit of a hiccup from crying. Her eyes looked at me somewhat more curiously and then she started to laugh.

This is why I hate kids...

I smiled politely. "Do you want to... play with me?" I asked, visibly awkward, but the younger one didn't seem to notice. Her hand grabbed mine, and I really had to fight against myself not to pull my hand away, as she led me to one of the tables. A smile on her face as she placed me next to Hanni and sat herself next to a boy.

Apparently, this was the drawing table.

"These will be good pictures," Hanni said quietly, giggling. She meant the funny face I had just made. I immediately nudged her with my knee so she wouldn't bring it up again. Hanni just chuckled softly as she continued coloring her mandala.

My eyes looked at Minji, who seemed to be playing a monster, Haerin participating as a princess in the roleplay, protected by the children, and Hyein seemed to be reading to one of the children.

Then my eyes fell on a little girl who was reading a book all alone. My eyes narrowed immediately. "Is Unnie angry again?" the girl asked me, on the verge of tears. Panic widened my eyes, and I shook my head and hands frantically. "No, no," I said immediately, which seemed to calm the little one down. I breathed out in relief.

"How old do you think I am?" Hanni asked, smiling, pointing to herself. The boy looked at the girl next to him and then to Hanni. "100?," he asked, and Hanni leaned forward almost immediately, shocked. I chuckled softly, but I tried to suppress it desperately.

My eyes kept drifting back to the little girl who was reading all alone. "Hey," I said, "Hello? Little one?" I asked a bit louder, since she probably couldn't hear me over all the children's noise. The boy in front of Hanni looked at me. "It's no use. She can't hear anything," the boy said casually, but then he proudly lifted up his drawing and grinned at Hanni.

I nodded in understanding, forcing myself not to furrow my brow so the girl wouldn't cry anymore. I leaned closer to Hanni. "I'm going to go over to that girl there," I said, and Hanni immediately nodded her head. I focused my eyes on the little girl as I sat down on the floor in front of her.

Apparently, she hadn't noticed my presence yet, which made me chuckle a bit. So, I tapped on the book on her lap, right in her line of sight. Her brown shining eyes looked at me, her lips slightly parted. With her little finger, she pointed to her ear and then made an X sign.

I simply smiled. Luckily, I knew sign language because my mother had always been hard of hearing and it only got worse with age. "Is the book good?" I asked in sign language, and the girl's eyes widened even more. Her tense face immediately relaxed, and I heard her let out a sigh.

"Yes," she replied with a nod of her head. I smiled gently. "What is it about?" I asked as my eyes briefly glanced at the book and then back to the girl. I could tell that the set's camera was now focusing more on me thanks to the sign language which was surprising for some people. But the rest of the kids didn't seem to care much.

Haerin also looked at me, a broad grin on her lips, prompting Minji to nudge her. Haerin quickly corrected her expression. "It's about a princess who has to kiss a frog. He then becomes a prince," the girl said, which made me nod in understanding.

I chuckled slightly. "Do you want to play something with me? Or should I leave you alone so you can continue reading your book?" I asked patiently. Like Haerin, the little girl lifted her head and seemed to be thinking. I could feel my body relaxing as I waited for the younger one to respond.

"I want to play something," she said with a smile, and I stood up right away. With a smile on my face, I held out my hand to the little one, and she immediately took it. "What do you want to play?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. Once again, the younger one pondered.

"Catching ball. Daddy... never plays with me," the girl said, and I nodded in understanding. I could feel Haerin staring at me the whole time. Our eyes briefly met, and a smile spread across my face. Haerin looked rather proud. I quickly looked away when I noticed my cheeks slowly turning red.

So, I grabbed the ball and looked at the little girl. Slowly, I threw the ball, and she caught it. I clapped my hands in joy, even though she couldn't hear it, she could see it. She jumped up and down excitedly. Now, she was the one throwing the ball to me, and I caught it. Just like before, she clapped her hands, which made my grin even wider. I laughed, and this time, it was definitely genuine.

————————————————————————————

"Okay... it was sweeter than expected," I said as I made myself comfortable in the car, a gentle smile on my face. The door was now closed, and with a jolt, I felt Haerin's lips on mine. My eyes widened, but of course, I kissed my girlfriend back. Her hand on my face, pulling me closer to her.

"Hey. Not in the car," Minji said, and reluctantly, Haerin pulled away from me. She sighed and sat back down normally. I raised my eyebrows, as this behavior was unlike my girlfriend. She was usually more reserved and slower.

Danielle laughed, while Hyein looked amusedly at Minji. "Oh, come on. Let them be. Haerin did really well during the shoot," Hyein said, laughing. "Yeah, when Unnie started with sign language, Haerin almost started drooling," Hanni joked, and immediately, my head turned to Haerin.

"Was that why?" I asked softly, her fingers pressing against mine again. But Haerin just shook her head. "It wasn't about the sign language... it was... just sweet to see you with the child," Haerin answered softly. "Especially since you were smiling, even though you hate kids," Haerin added, her cheeks visibly flushed.

I smiled amusedly as I intertwined our fingers. Immediately, the younger one looked at me. My lips touched hers briefly, of course, otherwise Minji would complain again. "Home, okay?" I asked softly, and Haerin blushed even more. A small smile appeared on her lips, and she squeezed my hand. "Home," she confirmed.

"That's gross. Hyein, don't look," Hanni said, but she was still taking pictures with her phone. Until Hyein eventually photobombed her photos.

[praisetheaxolotl]

The Arsonist Theory, Part 2: We Get It, The Billboard Was A Metaphor

Part 1: Mandibles!

First off, I want to say thank you all for giving the first part of my theory such love! I appreciate each and every one of you and I'm so happy that you all like my theories so much!

For those who are new here, the Arsonist Theory proposes that Bill wasn't alone in destroying his dimension- rather, he was used by a third party. This is part two of four, with the remaining two parts coming out very, very soon.

Also, same as before:

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE BOOK OF BILL, INCLUDING SOLUTIONS TO CIPHERS

Let's get into it, shall we?

In The Great Gatsby, certain motifs have more than one symbolic meani-- no, really, stay with me here!!

...Okay, fine. Let's back up.

In the Book Of Bill, you'll find a webpage called thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com. Go there, and you'll be prompted to enter a password. Go back to the Book of Bill, and hidden in a stretched-text section, you'll see the phrase NEED A PASSWORD? FINE, I'LL TALK / IT'S THE NAME OF THE EYEBALL DOC.

"The eyeball doc" is from the excerpts of The Great Gatsby further back in the book-- T.J. Eckleburg.

(Honestly, this explanation is moreso that context doesn't get lost to time.)

So... Gatsby. T.J. Eckleburg.

Hirsch could have chosen any number of public domain novels for that gag in the book... so why this one? Why tie it in by making it the password?

I believe it has some significance to the greater plot. Furthermore, eye doctors in general are a large point of Bill's early life in Euclidia. Take the silly straws- the red one has a numeric cipher, while the other three use a Caesar cipher.

In the order of RGBY, they read as follows:

TWISTED OUT OF SHAPE AFTER THE KILL / THE GHOSTS OF HIS FAMILY ARE HAUNTING HIM STILL Eye doctor of a different kind / Who wants to make his patients blind The doctor says / Three sips a day / Will make the visions / Go away Fussy eater / Baby Billy / Wouldn't drink / Unless it's silly

These ciphers refer to a certain couple of tidbits Bill tells us about his home.

One- He could see the third dimension. A rare mutation.

Two- Talking about it at all was illegal.

So, what were his parents to do when their son started talking about nonsense that was illegal to even mention? Well, if your child started acting strange and seeing things that weren't there... you would take them to the doctor.

It's clear to me that Bill's parents were concerned about the "visions" their son was experiencing, and took him to the doctor to cure them- an eye doctor that wants to make his patients blind. The blue straw explains how the medicine is supposed to work. The yellow straw explains why Bill has such a fondness for silly straws- he was a picky little kid, and hated his medicine, so his parents got him silly straws to drink it out of.

I wonder if that's why he collects them- because they remind him of home, of his mother urging him to take his medicine, of his life before all of this happened.

But never mind all that.

The thing is, an eye doctor is crucial to Bill's past, which of course brings me back to T.J. Eckleburg.

In The Great Gatsby, certain motifs have more than one symbolic meaning, and the eyes of T.J. Eckleburg are no exception.

(Okay full disclosure, I have not actually read Gatsby and I'm Sparknotes-ing this shit. But, so did all of you when you were assigned this in high school, so we're even.)

They appear on a billboard in a place called the Valley Of Ashes, and at first, they seem to symbolize God. But as the scenes continue, they take on a different meaning.

See, our POV character, Nick, is going on this journey to meet the mistress of his friend. Nick is aware that this is an immoral action, yet does it anyway. Now, the eyes of Eckleburg cast judgement... along with issue a warning.

They now take on a new meaning-- a foreboding omen about the tragedy that lies in wait, inching ever closer. The tragedy in Gatsby being the death of Myrtle, the mistress, and subsequent string of deaths that follow it-- and, curiously, Nick states that the eyes of Eckleburg almost supernaturally draw him someplace... which ends up being where Myrtle is.

Both a higher being, and a warning of a horrible tragedy that ends in death upon death upon death... curious!

What's more curious is when Bill is admonishing the story and Un-Gatsby-ing us, he says this:

The billboard is a metaphor? Why mention that? Out of all the symbolism in this book, why the billboard? Is it because it was mentioned in the preceding pages? Then why mention the theme of the American Dream being a myth? That wasn't on those pages! If you had to mention symbolism, the green light would have been the most iconic example of it from the book.

So why the billboard?

Is, perhaps, the image of some sort of higher power watching you, admonishing you of the tragedy you will have a hand in causing, supernaturally pulling you to someone that will be the catalyst for it all.... relevant somehow, to Bill?

(And, as a sidenote- the theme of the American Dream being hollow could also apply here, as Bill got what he wanted- freedom into the third dimension, Weirdmageddon, all of it. But he's still not happy and still wracked with guilt over Euclidia, ultimately an interloper in a place he doesn't belong in, just as Nick says at the end of the novel that he is a Midwesterner unsuited to life in the East Coast city.)

Let's talk about Flatland.

It's interesting to note that in the original novel, A. Square does have help witnessing the third dimension-- a Sphere contacts him, and tells him about the third dimension, intending to use the Square as a conduit to educating the rest of Flatland.

This, of course, leads to mass imprisonments and executions, one of said imprisonments being of the Square's own brother, with the Square being imprisoned himself at the end of the book.

Point being... in the original story of Flatland, the two-dimensional outsider was visited by a higher being, one that used him to alter Flatland and only ended up causing chaos and ruining lives.

All I'm saying is, the Book of Bill and Bill's story in general draws parallels to two existing books-- Flatland, and now The Great Gatsby. It would be foolish to write this off as a random occurrence when the game of Gravity Falls has always been analyzing the smallest of details. I believe the choice in book was on purpose, and moreso, that it was specifically used to hint that maybe Bill wasn't alone in all this. There was some kind of higher being that influenced him, just as the Square was influenced. That looked down upon him with impossibly wide eyes, pulling him closer and closer to ruin.

Oh, by the way-- Bill up there mentions being touchy about his weaknesses ever since... something. This is clearly his death, but... is that all he means? But that's gonna be in part four.

Next time, it's all about the many cycles and the distinct breaking of them present in Gravity Falls itself, and what that means for Bill as the villain and foil to them.

Part 3: Journey To The Vicious Spiral Nebula

Part 4: Blame The Arson, Not The Fire

[shaisuki]

Could I request Kaiser with reader. The two of them are partners for a project when he offers her a brownie he made, (one that he drugged), she was hesitant but took it, once she felt a little intoxicated, he took advantage of her, despite her trying to push him off, her state made her weaker and unable to push him off as he did what he wanted with her. At the end, he blackmailed her with the recording he took of him taking advantage of her

contested cravings

PAIRING. MICHAEL KAISER X CHUBBY READER

CONTENT WARNINGS. noncon + drugging, nonconsensual recording + groping and touching + kissing + blackmail + sabotage + penetrative sex + manipulation + cunnilingus.

SYNOPSIS. michael's is the bad news with his good looks and talent and the reason why you avoided him.

class projects aren't bad not until you're paired with michael kaiser. the school's star athlete and the resident asshole if you must add. have a bad habit of belittling others that pisses most of the whole student body and only hangs out with alexis ness. whom may have developed an unhealthy obsession with the school's golden boy. following him like a lost pup and would skedaddle if kaiser shooed him off.

you found the dynamic between them unsettling and how could ness accepted being treated like that. you guess is just how they express their feeling or to make the other feel good about themselves and you kind of really don't care, not when michael is your partner. his blonde hair is streaked with baby blue highlights on the tips and that haircut that suits him.

you instantly averted your gaze when you see him walking towards you and pretends that you didn't notice him. feigning interest in a book that you have read over and over.

“at my place?” he asks, smoothing his blonde locks. “s-sure.” you answered him. a little worriedly than you have liked and it looks like you were hesitant and regretting your action towards him.

michael paid it no mind. people acted around him like he was a real total assholes and he is and you were no different from the reactions people have shown him. he just gave you a smile and left you to your own devices.

of course, he have a room for himself. he's the school's star athlete and it comes with privilege including personal spaces. you texted him earlier and there he is. opening his door for you to come in. you gave him a curt greeting. “can we start now?” you asked him. the sooner this project is done the better. you really don't want to be alone with michael. “does my presence annoys you that much?” he smirks, eyeing you in such lazy manner that your eyes widen at what he was saying. kaiser chuckles at your reaction. “just kidding. don't want to waste more than time. make yourself comfortable then.” pointing at his work table. the books and papers and pens are neatly arranged. you didn't took him to be the studious type regarding how he acts in the general but you have judged him too early and mentally slapped yourself for thinking that way and you were still suspicious that he is too polite to you.

“what?” pursing your lips in thin line. you shaked your head. “nothing, michael.” he ignores you and sat beside you. already grabbing the needed materials and you both began in silence.

working with michael isn't so bad. he wasn't his usual asshole self who picks fight at school and insults someone for how they look and their skill. michael's behavior placed you in a dangerous situation with him and interactions with him meant to break what little self-confidence you have. opposite he was. he was so good at following up instructions and have studied in advance. it looks like it was better that you should both have split the workload.

“oh i forgot, i would be a bad host if i didn't you offer you some food. i've gotten brownies in that newly opened bakery.” he said, taking off his round glasses he was wearing while you both worked. michael screams like he comes from old money from how he acts and it was totally out of character for him to offer you some refreshments.

he placed a tray of food in the table. consisting of various sweet treats and some drinks. “pick what you want, sweets.” the nickname made you cringed cause michael is really acting nice to you. something's very off at this whole situation. looking at the assortment of sweets in the tray. you hesitated but the look michael is giving you told you otherwise. so you grabbed one and took a bite. “good choice.” he praises you before grabbing a treat for himself.

the brownie's good. the chocolatey goodness melting in your mouth, bursting with flavor. you hum in delight to show your appreciation for the good food and michael nods. smiling a bit and slowly chews. you just only ate one. afraid that he'll comment something and you would rather die than have him say something. it took awhile before you both decided to pick up what's left of the work.

strangely, you have never been feeling so lightheaded before followed by a strange pounding on your head. you grasp the pencil you were holding and it only rolls away from you. you try grabbing it again and it feels like you were holding air. “is something wrong, (y/n)?” you follow the sound of the direction of the voice. why was kaiser is blurry to your vision. did h-he? you were unable to finish your muddled thoughts and even in such state you feel his lips to yours.

your lips is what he imagined to be. soft and plump with the right touch of sweetness. thanks to the brownies. heh. it wasn't really he brought. he put an effort to it just to have what's in front of him. the drug that ness brought him did work just like how he wanted it. you were still conscious and a bit aware of everything but is unable to do anything but he is quite surprised that you were still able to move a bit even it was just an attempt to push him off.

“i can't have you pushing me. i really worked for this.” is what you heard before you are being pushed slowly in his bed.

when you laid there in his bed. michael admires you like he was a painter of his greatest masterpiece. looking like some baroque period painting coming to life while your body's is temporarily incapacitated. his efforts have bore results and he's about to sow.

he begins to strip you. quite annoyed from the layers of clothing you wore. he knows it was fully intentional. not wanting to be called a slut nor a prude by him. he knows his harsh and he likes people when they cry and you were no exception of it. he could have bullied you. break you and pull you apart until you were left nothing but michael withstood all the desires of it cause he wanted you like this. helpless and needing of him.

his palms slowly glides through the expanse of skin. you were the definition of what he deemed perfection in his eyes. your perfectly fit in his and he was about to mold you from his very own hands. he can see the tears pricking in your eyes. glistening as you helplessly watch him defile you.

kaiser never liked giving and receiving. he only takes but what's between your legs leaves him hungry for it. the plushness of your fat pussy drooling with slick is enough to drive him crazy so he did what he did. giving your fat pussy a lick and he was hooked immediately. he continued to devour your pussy until he was satisfied besides his cock is really needing some relief and it was painful. he just found the right place to stick it on.

it was only the tiniest of moans and gasps coming from you but he sure enjoyed it. a symphony being composed and is a music to his hears he won't get tired of listening to. he grabbed and bite whatever his hands and mouth can get to. you were so fucking supple and divine. fitting for an emperor like him. the way your body jiggles and ripples with his very thrusts leaving him grunting and growling for more. your fat pussy is deliciously wrapped around his fat cock that it leaves a drooling mess to your cunt. he already has cummed many times and it squelches with every thrust along with your pussy. his cum being deposited inside of you.

michael glances at the clock. the night is still young and he was going savor all of it until the morning comes. he continues to assault your abused cunt. smiling to himself at the direction of where his phone is currently placed. he needs to commemorate this special occasion.

you were sore. your body screaming in pain while you grab the pieces of your clothing besides you. the tears uncontrollably running down your cheeks while you scramble to get your things and leave this hell hole that was michael's room. “why are you crying?” he asks, sipping a cup of coffee. dressed in his robe and his reading glasses resting in the tip of his nose. “fuck you, michael.” you seethed at the blonde. michael chuckles. “strong words coming from you.” he added.

you were about to grab the last belonging of yours before he interrupts you. “i believe you have a favor to ask me.” your eyes widens. he shows you a video of him repeatedly fucking you. putting you in different positions. “don't you dare, michael.” you warned him. “you fucking raped me, you son of a bitch.” michael didn't really like the tone of your voice and it just triggered something to him. he stands up and made his way to you. grasping your soft jaw in a tight manner. he forces a smile. “oh, i really am.” he taunts you. his blue eyes is filled with storm inside them. “defy me and you're getting this video leaked.”

“what the fuck you want?”

“watch your tone.” he warns before smiling.

“be mine and i'll let this thing disappear like it didn't happen.”

“fuck no.”

“oh really, such a shame. you were enjoying it. see?” he really made it look like you were having the best night of your life. he wipes the tears on your round cheeks.

“good.” he whispers. seeing the look in your face and it left him triumphant.

“don't leave. we really ain't done. i am still starting to enjoy it.”

[somerandomdudelmao]

Have to say I'm loving Marble Sky. It's clear you put a lot of thought into the story and I'm excited to see where it's going.

Figured I'd weigh into the Oscar commentary going on and I think honestly the shirt he was wearing in the flashback when Ward was talking about how he ended up in space might say a lot about his character as a whole.

If you don't look at the shirt closely it says "the earth is fla-" and naturally people will fill in the missing 't'. A shirt that seems to support flat earthers is particularly tone deaf given he'd just walked into a building dedicated to science and specifically space. It's the sort of thing people would instantly react to and think lesser of Oscar for. Much like the fact that he comes from a rich family. Or the fact that he seems to embrace the world with puppy like enthusiasm. It creates an image of someone who is ignorant, who doesn't pay attention, and is careless to the point of being arrogant about it.

However looking closely that's not what the shirt says. it's just the text for the rest of it is small, harder to read and purposefully arranged so its divorced from the rest of the larger letters.

And I find that fascinating.

So reading the shirt properly it says "the earth is FLA-bergasting". This message I think has a lot of layers especially combined with Oscar's established fascination with aliens, biology and stuff that we have seen with him previously. It's a message that celebrates the world and all life in it. It's a message that acknowledges that understanding that world is impossible but compelling none the less. It's a message that says the earth is confusing and hard to understand and Oscar is not pretending to know everything about it. Some of this might be just my interpretation of the message so take that with a grain of salt. Still the difference between the first and second is interesting because in the first its a person asserting they know something as complete truth while the second basically admits they don't know anything at all.

Now apply this to Oscar. We're presented with a chaotic lovable doofus who is brimming with childlike wonder at the start of the story. We're presented with a "rich kid" who got into space because his parents paid for it. We're presented with a guy who seems okay with the slaughter of others in order to protect himself. A lot of people are looking at Oscar and seeing "the earth is Fla(t)"

However we've barely scratched the surface of this story or this character not to mention the situation as a whole. So I'm staring at the smaller hidden letters (metaphorically) and wondering exactly what is actually going on with this guy. Because I'm pretty sure "the earth is Fla-bergasting" and so is Oscar.

Thank you for indulging this long ask. I felt like ranting because I love Oscar and this story.

There are three things in this world I can look at forever. How fire burns, how water flows, and how someone carefully analyzes a character in whom I have invested a lot of time and effort.

Holy shit this is incredibly interesting and oh my fucking god you wrote the entire essay?? your brain?? is powerful??rjfkgi

[fimmiest]

habits - lesserafim ot5 x fem!reader

fimmies and reader as ship dynamics

tags: fluff, le sserafim x 6th member!reader

- huge nerd x huge nerd w/ sakura

"how does it work again?"

"you open the menu then you can select all these objects, and they can combine and-" sakura goes on explain about this blond guy game where you build different type of things but there was so much things to learn that you just gave up the moment it became too complicated to understand.

however, sakura excitedly explaining something was so cute to see you couldn't resist it. you were sure you already asked some questions but even when kkura was repeating herself the little glint in her eye was so pretty to see

"you aren't paying attention are you?"

"nah.. but you looked cute explaining it to me" you shrugged and gave the controller back to her

"... you silly" sakura failed in hiding her smile

- rivals (in love) w/ chaewon

"chaewon unnie, i will beat you fast in this game so you can go to bed earlier, ma'am" even if it was your first time playing a mario kart game, and you were as bad as chaewon, the opportunity to tease her was always at your top priority, acting confident you blow her a kiss after your words.

"pff, i bet that you go to sleep hugging a stuffed plushie. be careful for not to fall out the bed, kid" chaewon retorts your mannerisms

"yeah? you know what? i do hug a plushie, a bear one that you gave me. because the grandma here can't contain herself in giving us plushies"

"grandma?? can't believe you're talking to me like that.." chaewon narrow her eyes at you

"well, you know what grandmas give too?" she says getting closer to you, the playful expression on her face already making you take a step back

"kisses! come here!!" chaewon chases after you who smartly were already on the run, the console game already forgotten as you had try your best to run away from chaewon for a couple minutes

- emotional support dumbass w/ yunjin

the mood on the ride back home after the award show was a little stuffed. the end of the year performance of le sserafim was flawless as always, but after all the hard work and hours of event, going home without a trophy affected the girls.

sakura had a thoughtful expression, chaewon was clearly acting like she was asleep and eunchae and kazuha were quiet at the backseat probably both scared to start the conversation at this atmosphere.

you and yunjin exchange glances from time to time, wordlessly understanding that you both wanted to bright up the mood but didn't know how.

in quick texts between you two, you convince yunjin to try breaking the ice saying something good about the event, the hesitation on her eyes says it all.

"you know..." yunjin starts "at least they gave us good food."

...

"...jen seriously?" you sigh shaking your head

"what?? you said to talk about something good, the food was good"

"bro, what about our amazing performance? we even got a loud fan cheer back there. woah can't believe you huh yunjin"

"the food was lacking salt too..." eunchae quietly adds

"see??!" your incredulous tone makes sakura let out a laugh amazed to see how serious you were about it, soon after eunchae fails in holding her laugh too.

the tension from before slowly disappearing in a comfortable talk now, you and yunjin exchange looks and proudly high five each other.

- protective x doesn't need protection w/ kazuha

"kazuha why did you answer it differently?!"

"i kept saying 'anti' how did you choose 'unforgiven'?" chaewon joins the complaining

"she's the mafia i'm telling you!" eunchae complained pointing a finger at kazuha

"but it wasn't-"

"ey, what did you said to my zuha unnie?" you get in front of kazuha to defend her trying to maintain a serious expression until you threaten to bite eunchae's finger

"why are you defending her? we are losing here"

"why not defend her? it can happen. but i don't trust you miss eunchae" you accuse pointing a finger at her too

the girls got lost in why you and eunchae still arguing since the staff told them it was you who answered differently but neither of you heard it.

"but-" kazuha starts but you wrap your arm around her shoulder

"let's go zuha, don't listen to eunchae's nonsense"

- partners in crime w/ eunchae

"i can act like i'm helping in do the tasks, and then-"

"you just got eliminated you know that, right?" eunchae stares at you confused trying to understand why you didn't left that room yet.

"-after i convince them you aren't in the room anymore, i leave, you appear, you get your chip!" you continued explaining trailing behind eunchae. your plan was reasonable enough to eunchae who was nodding her head at your words.

"how i trust you aren't going to revive?"

"manchae, the seeker didn't won a single round. and i'm sad i wasn't one, so, i'm helping you!" you blink to her

"we will be doing content, baby" you extend your fist expecting her to fist bump you, eunchae shakes her head in disbelief but soon enough her expression turns into a mischievous one, she is the one winning anyway.

"the unnies will be so mad at you by the end" eunchae fist bumps you back.

[gojos-thot-patrol]

It's the horniest time of the year Dear reader.

Now Loading, Kinktober Week one...

Synopsis: Suguru has loved you since he met you. Or maybe lust is a better word. Either way, it never really mattered. You were a good girl who would never give a dirty fuck boy like him a chance. You were smarter than that. Even now, as you sit on his lap learning how to smoke for the first time, you'd never give him a chance. Right? Kinks: Pussy drunk, corruption, non/dub con, stoned sex, and slight yandere behavior. Viewer Discretion is advised.

It was the laugh that got him. Light and sweet, delicate even. A wind chime giggle that drew Suguru’s attention away from whatever the fuck his roommate was talking about, and right to you. You were adorable. Bright vibrant eyes and a shy smile, trying to hide behind a red solo cup as Shoko continued to tease you. It made his dick twitch.

“Yeah, so true Satoru- hey who’s that?” He asked Gojo, cutting off whatever rant he was on to point at you.

“Oh, you haven't met Y/n yet?” Gojo asked.

“You have?” Suguru didn’t like the jealous pang he got from that. He didn’t like the idea that Gojo got to you first. Satoru knew this, and smirked back at him.

“Sure have,” He winked, “She’s Shoko’s new roommate. This is apparently her first party ever.”

“You don’t say?” Suguru hummed, looking over at you in time to see you decline a joint being passed your way. You screamed sheltered kid, and you probably didn’t even know it. “You should introduce me.”

“And why should I?” Satoru scoffed, “So you can fuck her once and then never answer her texts again?”

“Are you planning on treating her any better?” Suguru snorted back.

“Hey man, that’s!-...Fair enough, actually, come on.” He sighed, nodding his head towards you as he escorted his friend over. “Hey, Y/n!” He yelled with a laugh, and you waved to him.

“Hi Gojo!” You smiled, drowsily swaying back and forth as you enjoyed your buzz.

“You look like you’re having a good time,” He chuckled, “Hey, I got someone I want you to meet. This is-”

“Hi Suguru!” You waved at him, your smile growing. To Satoru’s, but more so Suguru’s surprise, you seemed to know him.

“Oh, uh, Hey.” He smiled with a soft wave.

“I thought you said you hadn’t met?” Satoru asked, looking puzzled. Your confusion etched your features as well as you looked up at him.

“Why would you say that? We have Music History together.” You gently reminded him. Geto ran though his mind palace, ripping books off the shelves as he desperately tried to remember who you were, and how the fuck he could have possibly forgotten you. 

Wait…wait…No fucking way, you couldn’t be the same girl. The one who passed out almost the moment class started? The girl who wore exclusively sweatpants and band hoodies? He had noticed you before, mostly for your good taste in music, but seeing you when you weren’t just a walking corpse was like seeing an entirely different human being. 

“I never said that, Gojo doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Suguru swiftly threw Satoru under the bus, sitting next to you and draping his arm around your shoulders, “How have you been Y/n? Enjoying the party?” his smile was so charming, it was the only thing you could really focus on. 

“Backstabbing asshole-” Satoru muttered as he went to find better friends. 

“I’ve been good!” You smiled with a nod, leaning into his side, “Little nervous about last week's test though. I kinda struggle in that class.” You confessed.

“Really?” He asked with a precious tilt of his head. “You know, I have an A in Music History, I could tutor you if you wanted.”

“Really?!” You gasped, eyes dazzling like all of the glitter in the world was contained in them, “That would be so nice!” He laughed softly and nodded. This was almost too easy.

“Of course Sweetheart. Here, let me get your number.” 

🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

You hated how much you liked Suguru. How special his attention made you feel, how sincere his care seemed to be, and how sweet his actions were. Mostly because you knew it was all an act. You thought it was funny how he tried to talk you up as if Shoko wasn’t your roommate. Did he really think she wouldn’t warn you about her friends and their natural fuck boy tendencies?

After the party that night, Shoko had told you exactly who Suguru Geto was when it came to women, and made it clear in no uncertain terms that the only thing he wanted was a one night stand. It hurt at first, considering you did have a crush on him at one point. But, you were thankful for the warning nonetheless. You knew your judgment when it came to guys was less than phenomenal, and this whole ordeal confirmed it. 

Still, you happily accepted the free tutoring. If there was one thing Suguru knew a lot about, it was anything having to do with music. His passion for it leaked into how he taught, and soaked up into you. You found yourself actually engaged in topics you previously found boring, and your grade did genuinely improve. You hated that it only added fuel to your ridiculous crush. There was some truth in the saying that the quickest way to fall in love with someone is to see them talk about their passions, and you were falling into that trap. 

Of course, the hours spent together outside of tutoring didn’t help. The parties his frat held, movie nights hosted by Shoko, randomly bumping into him at the library. You almost always found yourself somehow alone with Suguru. Often it was friendly: talking about whatever new band he discovered, or about whatever movie was playing. 

But, sometimes it got more intimate than that. Him pulling you onto his lap to “make room for more people” on the couch. Hiding in a corner at some basement show together, close enough that you could smell the tequila on his breath while he openly wished to kiss you. It took willpower you didn’t even know you had to deny him. You quickly came to the realization you needed a distraction. 

That’s what led you here. “Who are you texting?” Suguru asked, completely giving up on trying to teach you about the effect the LA riots had on the rap music genre. 

“Why do you want to know?” You questioned back, lifting an eyebrow. You were a little more than two months into your friendship with Suguru, and at some point during that time he decided he was privy to whoever it was you were talking to at any moment. He said it was because he cared about you and wanted to keep you safe. You knew it was because he was jealous.

“I’m just curious who you think is more important than getting a passing grade?” He smiled so syrupy sweet as the sarcastic comment dripped from his lips. Asshole. You sighed and shook your head. You wanted to argue with him more, but, you couldn’t keep this secret from him forever.

“So, you know Keigo from class, right?”

“Why the fuck are you talking to Keigo?” Suguru snapped as his eyes narrowed, a stark contrast from just seconds before. You flinched a bit at the venom in his question. Suguru never really cursed, and it always made you feel small when he did. Still, you couldn’t back out now.

“Simple, he’s my boyfriend.” You shrugged, trying to feign a confidence you truly did not have.

“Your what?” 

“Oh my God, you’re acting like I just told you I fucked a republican, it’s not that big of a deal!” You scoffed at his utter disgust, your shame from earlier being replaced with indignation at his reaction. You weren’t sure when he got the idea that he owned you, but you were determined to kill it.

“How long have you been “dating” Takami?” He more accused than asked.

“Only like a week. It’s not that big a deal, almost no one even knows. We're going to make it official at ABO’s Halloween party next week.” Oh, of course. You would choose his frat party to try and make things “official.” Like you were trying to make him look like a fool. He rolled his eyes, dramatically leaning back in his chair, as if he was trying to get away from you.

“Oh, well isn’t that just cute.” He sneered, the word “cute” cutting deeper than any insult he could have thrown out at that moment. You bristled at the comment, fighting back the urge to punch his stupidly cute throat.

“What crawled up your ass and died?” You scoffed, “Like you have any say in my relationships.”

“I just think it’s really funny that you say you want nothing to do with fuck boys, and you want a real relationship with someone who cares about you” he mocked, “Just to start dating the second biggest fuck boy on campus, right after Ryomen of all people.” He shrugged calmly despite the rage setting a fire up his spine.

“Well, aren't you just a nice guy.” You all but hissed. It was his turn to flinch now, your words clearly hitting a nerve dead on. He clenched his jaw and his fist, before visibly letting it go.

“Whatever. You’re a grown woman, make whatever mistakes you want.” He sighed, not willing to escalate the fight any further. Right now, that is. It wasn’t your fault you wanted to give Keigo a chance, you saw the good in everybody. Even him once, before Shoko got to you. His fight wasn’t with you, it was with Keigo. 

“You’re right, I am!” You announced, proud of your perceived win. 

“Yeah, you go girl, you’re so empowered. Now can we please get back to studying?’ He scoffed with a shake of his head. 

🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

“You sure Takami isn’t going to show up tonight?” Gojo asked as he adjusted the fangs in his mouth.

“Not if he knows what’s good for him.” Suguru chuckled a bit as he finished putting the wolf paint on his face. His knuckles were still a little sore from where he cut them on the other man's teeth, reminding him of the night he reminded Keigo to stay away from you. He wondered if his eye looked any better. “How do I look?”

“Like a dollar store werewolf.” Satoru smirked, taking in his friend's torn up flannel and cheap wolf ears (definitely not cat ears) combo.

“Perfect.” Suguru grinned.

“So do you think he told Y/n what happened?” Gojo asked as he put on his vampire cape, finishing his own look. 

“Nope,” Suguru smiled, “That’s the best part. She told me the next day in class that apparently he got mugged by a stranger. She was pissed too.”

“So he kept the secret.” Gojo laughed, “Maybe he isn’t a bird brain after all.” He hummed as the doorbell rang, alerting them to the first wave of guests coming. They made it down the stairs in just enough time to see Nanami and Sukuna open the door for you, Shoko, Mei Mei, and-

Motherfucker.

“Keigo!” Suguru smiled, warm and friendly, as he wrapped an aggressive arm around your date. “I didn't expect to see you here after what happened the other night! Welcome!”

“Hey man, you can’t let one asshole run your life, ya know?” Keigo grinned, playing along despite glaring daggers into the wolfman next to him. 

“You’re so brave.” Gojo sighed with mock irreverence, “Your eye looks terrible.”

“Gee thanks.” Kegio grinned through gritted teeth. “I made it a part of the look.”

“Is the look meant to be a mugging victim?” Gojo asked with a mocking tilt of his head.

“No, he’s a zombie.” You scoffed with a playful eye roll.

“Apparently Mad Hatter was “too cheesy” for him.” Mei Mei tsked. Oooh, an Alice in Wonderland theme. It made sense, Shoko was clearly Alice- meaning Mei Mei was probably the Cheshire Cat and you were The White Rabbit. Suguru was wondering how the other girls convinced you to go out in such a short dress, the satin bunny ears and bowtie reading more Playboy Bunny than The White Rabbit. 

“You all look fantastic ladies, come on in.” He smiled, going to wrap his arm around you to lead you inside. Only for Keigo to intercept him, snatching you away from Suguru’s side and into his own with a swift arm around your waist, making you giggle up at him. Apparently, he wanted another black eye to match his current one. 

Two hours later, and Suguru was considering the ethics of murder. Clearly, knocking a molar out of Keigo Takami’s head wasn’t enough, he needed to be put in the dirt. A fact he was making all too clear by the way he blatantly felt you up, on Suguru’s couch no less. It made his teeth itch to watch, the way you drunkenly swayed into that dirty asshole. How you shyly batted his hand away from the hem of your dress, probably knowing it would be there later anyway. 

“Want me to take care of that fucker for you?” Ryomen asked, having long ditched the Micheal Myers mask and now just looking like a regular blood splattered mechanic. He knew how long Suguru had coveted you, and had no problem looking for a bullshit reason to kick your boyfriend out if it meant his boy got a chance. 

“No, If we kick him out now she’ll just go with him.” Suguru scoffed, taking a drink of his cheap beer. “Honestly, that’s probably what he wants. To get her home and alone.”

“I don’t think they’re gonna wait to get home.” Ryomen grimaced as the two of them watched Keigo slowly try to lead you away to an empty room. Suguru scowled, suddenly understanding Keigo’s game. He could hear that blonde asshole in his head now, laughing in his victory. You want me to stay away from her? What if I fucked her under your roof instead? He felt his damaged fingers twitch, craving violence.

“I’ll be in my room.” Suguru grumbled, making sure to bump into a party goer as he stormed off, begging someone to start a fight with him. Sadly, no one had the balls to try and square up, so he made it to his door with no problem. He sighed as he entered his room, vacuum sealed away from the rest of the party. He felt pathetic as he flopped on his bed. A loser as he pulled his stash out, rolling a joint and turning on the album Pablo Honey by Radiohead. If he was going to be in his sad boy feelings, he was going to commit to the bit.

Creep had just came on when you came sniveling into his room. He wasn’t sure who was more shocked about the situation, him or you. You looked up at him with wide wet eyes that probably should have made him feel some sort of sad, but just made him want to rip that strip of fabric you called a “dress” off you instead.

“Oh, uh, I didn’t expect to find you in here.” You sniffed as you leaned against the door.

“It’s my room?” He asked more than stated. 

“Yeah, and it’s your party too.” You reminded him as you joined him on the bed. He blatantly watched the way your thighs doubled in size as you sat, and desperately wished to be in between them. Drying your tears while he showed you why that asshole you were with now would never compare to him. “I thought you’d be mingling.” You mumbled.  He shrugged and took a drag off of his joint.

“I got bored,” He lied, “Too many jagoffs.” Okay, that was honest. 

“Yeah, tell me about it.” You chuckled humorlessly with a sniffle. He reached out and wiped a tear away with his thumb. 

“Where’s your boyfriend Doll?” He questioned, ignoring the frustration building up inside of him. Where the fuck was that loser? What, was he too much of a “man” to know how to deal with a few tears? Too bad- he was the one that wanted the boyfriend label. Your emotional comfort was his job now, not Suguru’s. 

“He’s not my boyfriend anymore. He got upset when I wouldn’t sleep with him and ended up taking Tinkerbell home.” OH. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry Sweetheart,” He cooed, voice dripping in sincerity as he pulled you into his lap for a warm hug. You accepted gratefully, wrapping your arms around him and shoving your face in the crook of his neck, letting the familiar smell of his soap fill your senses. 

“It’s okay…” You sniffled softly, “You tried to warn me…we weren’t that serious anyway.” You sighed. He massaged gentle circles into the small of your back, holding you close.

“Still, I know it must hurt.” He muttered to you.

“It doesn’t feel good.” You confirmed with a sigh. You watched him take a drag off the joint in his hand. You watched the way his lips wrapped around the paper, felt his chest expand under you, smelled the smoke despite the effort he made to blow it away from you. Something about the performance was mesmerizing. You never really considered drugs before, but now? Knowing they were supposed to make you feel good even when you felt like shit? Your interest was piqued. 

“Does weed taste good?” You asked, catching Suguru off guard mid puff. A laugh turned into a mild coughing fit. You pat his back to help him through it.

“Where did that come from?” He asked with an amused smirk as he caught his breath again.

“I’m just curious about it.” You shrugged, avoiding his gaze in embarrassment as you felt your face heat up. 

“Eh, it depends on the weed really. Different strands taste different.” he explained, ashing the joint into one of the soda cans Gojo left around the room. “Dirt weed tastes like dirt.” 

“What does that one taste like?” You asked, pointing at the spliff in his hand. He shrugged.

“Hard to explain. Why, you wanna try it?” He asked with a soft grin. Your face felt like it was on fire, hiding half of it in his chest and shrugging with one shoulder. 

“I mean…kinda.” You confessed. Suguru tried to figure out when Halloween passed and Christmas came, because normally a gift like this required a Christmas miracle to make happen. He handed you the joint, placing it between your thumb and pointer finger. He watched with intense eyes as you brought it up to your face.

“Um, so…Is there anything like, special I’m supposed to do here, or?” You sheepishly asked, and Suguru had to slightly adjust your position on his lap so you didn’t feel his hard on. God you were perfect. A soft innocence clung to you, one even that dirty asshole Keigo couldn’t taint, but Suguru knew he could decimate. 

“Just take a deep breath,” He said, taking your hand and guiding the joint to your lips, “Hold it for a few seconds in your lungs, then let it out.” He instructed. You tried to do what he said, sucking in hard and deep, like you were trying to impress him. Turns out, weed tastes like fire. The smoke barely hit your lungs before the burn burst out from you, lighting an inferno in your throat as you attempted to cough your lungs out. 

“Whoa, slow down there Puff!” He laughed, leaning over and pulling a water bottle from the mini fridge he used as a nightstand. “You’re gonna green out if you keep that up.” He took the joint and opened the bottle for you, watching as you tried to waterboard yourself to sooth your ragged throat. 

“Why do people enjoy that?!” You gasped as you finally came up for air. 

“Normally they don’t try to smoke half a joint in one drag,” He teased you gently, rubbing your back as you shook your head. “Here, let’s try a softer approach, okay?”

“Okay…” You muttered hesitantly. You hated that burn, but you were curious what he had in mind to make it gentler. You watched him bring the joint to his own lips, taking a deep breath before balancing the joint on one of the soda cans. He turned your head to face him. 

You didn’t even realize what was happening until his mouth was on yours, soft and sweet, coaxing your lips to part. Despite your better judgment, you leaned into the kiss, opening your mouth for him, letting the smoke pour from his lungs and into yours. He was right, it was softer this time. The burn was mellowed from him taking it in first, giving you room to taste the earthy- almost piney flavor of the weed. You were able to hold it in your lungs longer this time, if for no other reason than because the kiss forced you too. 

As he pulled back, you blew out the gray fumes, coughing a little, but not nearly as much as you did last time. Oh, okay, you got it now. “See?” He purred as he watched you watch the smoke, “You��re token’ like a pro now.”

“I feel light headed,” You confessed as you leaned into him, “And heavy.” He was a little shocked it was already starting to hit you, but then again, you probably didn’t have a lot of experience with…well anything.

“Makes sense. It’s an Indica strain.” He informed you as he repositioned you in his lap, pressing your back to his chest. 

“What does that mean?” You asked as you watched him pick up the almost dead joint again.

“It just means it mellows you out,” He gave the short version, not really having the time or the patience to give you a thorough run down of cannabis strains. At least not right now. “Want to try the joint again?” He asked. You shook your head.

“Absolutely not.” You said, not wanting to feel your lungs explode again. 

“I was hoping you’d say that.” He said as he took another puff off the joint, killing it this time and shoving it into the ashtray formerly known as soda can. He leaned down and pressed another kiss to you. You focused more on him than the smoke this time. On the way his lips moved hungrily against yours, on the way you could taste vodka and redbull on his tongue-subtle under the taste of weed. On the way his hand found the hem of your dress, teasing it in between his fingers before massaging your inner thigh. 

“Sug,” You giggled as you let the burning smoke out, squirming under his touch and pushing yourself further into his lap to try and make some distance between your skin and his hand, “What are you doing?”

“I’m just trying to make you feel good Sweetheart,” He purred, “What, did Keigo not touch you like this?” That had more edge to it than he intended, not that you noticed.

“No, he didn’t.” You admitted with a chuckle. Apparently you got the giggles when high. Your little confession went straight to Suguru’s cock though. He knew you were a good girl, saving yourself for him even before you knew you were his. 

“Probably for the best.” He laughed, moving his hand further up your inner thigh, making you gasp slightly. “He probably wouldn’t even know what to do once he got your panties down.” He huffed, “Or worse, bust in ten seconds and leave you unsatisfied.”

“Sug,” You sighed, having so much to say but not enough brain function to say it. He felt your thighs tremble under his hand and his heartbeat speed up with it. He had to have you or he was going to lose his mind. “Be nice…” You mumbled.

“And why should I be?” He asked, hand now slipping under your incredibly short dress, touching you in places you had never been touched before. “He wasn’t nice to you. I’d take such good care of you baby…” His lips were on your neck now, sending rolling waves of electricity down the column of your spine. You pressed your thighs together, unwittingly trapping his hand there and doing yourself no favors. You could feel yourself getting uncomfortably wet.

“Promise?..” You muttered. He had been sweet to you these last few months, and he had been actively pursuing you for this long- maybe Shoko was wrong this time. 

“Swear.” He whispered into your neck before kissing it with a force, surly leaving a purple bruise in his wake. “Let me show you…” He said as his other hand came up to massage your right breast. You took a deep breath, trying to think through what was happening and the consequences of your actions. You didn’t get very far. All you could think about was the way your buzzing skin reacted to his warm touch, and the anticipation building in between your legs. Your body had no idea how to handle all of this brand new stimulation. 

You took a deep breath, then nodded. “Okay.” You whimpered as you let your legs fall open for him. Suguru didn’t hesitate to drag a thick finger along your clothed slit, making you hiss and bite your lip.

“You like that Doll?” He asked, pushing your panties to the side and sliding two fingers in between your folds, brushing past the nub of nerves he found there. Pleasure jolted from the light touch, electrifying you and making you buck your hips into him for more. You nodded earnestly, desperate to explore this new sensation.  “Talk to me beautiful.” he warned. 

“Yes…” You gasped, melting into his broad chest as he ran two fingers over your sex, gracing your clit yet again.

“Want to feel even better?”  He purred and you nodded.

“Uh huh…” Your body tensed, your walls clenching as he bullied two fingers into you, trying to push out the sudden intrusion. He groaned as he felt you tremble around his digits, mouth watering at the thought of feeling it around his cock. He bucked his hips up into you, not bothering to hide the hard on you gave him anymore.

You moaned, breathing deep as you tried to adjust to the new feeling. Pleasure exploded in you as he curled his fingers up, touching your g-spot with a precision you could never manage. “You’re soaked baby girl,” He hummed as he worked his fingers inside of you, pressing his palm to your clit, moving in time and intensifying everything you felt. “Is all of this for me Doll?”

“Geto…” You moaned, your pretty sighs being music to his ears as you lazily rolled your hips in time with his fingers. Pleasure flooded your system, combining with your buzzing, heavy skin and light head to create a sensation that left you floating in the ninth dimension. You felt your stomach tighten in anticipation, and your legs start to tremble. You lugged your hand up to the back of his head, tangling your fingers into his long hair for support. 

“You sound so pretty when you say my name…” He moaned, leaving a trail of his marks down your neck, obvious evidence that you were his and his alone. 

“Geto, I’m-” You whined softly as you felt a wave of euphoria roll through your body as the pressure came to a tipping point. You looked up at him with wide desperate eyes and whined, feeling the electricity bubble and pop inside of you threatening to explode.

“Cum for me sweetheart,” He groaned, coaxing your climax out of you with every stroke of his fingers, “Cum all over me.” It was like your body was under some sort of spell, forced to act upon his will. The pressure finally exploding inside of you, sending a surge of ecstasy and fire through your body, hitting you with intense wave after wave of bliss. Your legs trembled from the intensity of it as you tried to catch your breath. Your hands fell from his hair and to his sides, digging your nails into Suguru as you desperately tried to ground yourself.

“You’re so fucking pretty when you cum, do you know that?” He hummed, removing his fingers from your cunt and placing them in your mouth. You got the hint, sucking them clean with earnest. His breath caught in his throat as you did, your eagerness catching him kinda off guard. He took his digits out of your mouth. You felt Suguru push you forward, using one hand to keep you from folding in half and the other to pull the zipper of your costume down. You’re pretty sure he unhooked your bra while he was back there, too. 

From there it wasn’t hard for him to lay you on the bed and pull the strapless dress off of you. You whined softly as he pulled your bra off your chest. You tried to lift a hand up to undress him, but your body felt so heavy it was hard to move. He caught your hand and pressed a kiss to your wrist.

“Let me take care of you Sweetheart,” He winked, “You just relax.” He rested your hand on your chest before ripping off his cheap flannel and tattered thrift store jeans. He was back in between your legs before you could fully process what was happening. You felt your mouth dry at the sight. Or maybe it was another side effect of the weed. Either way, he looked like a Greek god. 

His long, normally perfect hair was messy, frizzy and sweat stuck to his face. His honey brown eyes were dark with carnal desire. His thick cock was standing at full alert, angry and already dripping against his abs. The sight of it made your stomach explode with nerves, and your chest tightened as you realized he planned to shove all of that into you.

“S’ big..” You slurred, shaking your head. He chuckled softly, leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Awe, thanks sweetheart.”

“It’s not gonna fit Geto...” You whimpered to him, “Not for the first time..” Awe, you were so cute, it almost made Suguru’s heart skip a beat. Almost. More than anything else, the innocence in your watery red eyes coupled with your kiss swollen lips made him all the more eager to prove you wrong. 

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll fit,” He assured you, pressing a kiss to the corner of your lips. Of course he was going to fit, you were made for him. He pulled your hips to his, massaging your hips with his thumbs as he lined you up. He sunk his hips in and-

Oh Fuck.

Your cunt was more intoxicating than a shot of heroin straight into the bloodstream. You were warm and soft, velvety walls contracting around him and pulling him impossibly deep. Your soft whines as your thighs wrapped around him, trying to ground yourself and pull him closer all at the same time was better than opium. Fuck drugs, nothing was ever going to top this. 

“Fuck sweetheart, you’re perfect.” He groaned into your ear, pulling back and brushing against your sweet spot so perfectly. You whined under him, your nails found his back and clawed into him, leaving scarlet crescent moons in his back as evidence of your presence in his bed. You had never felt so full and perfectly stretched at the same time. A fire split you down the middle, burning away the pain and leaving only an intense pleasure in its wake, one you knew no toy would ever be able to replicate. 

His blunt nails bruised your hips as he fought to stay still, trying to respect that this was your first time. You fucked that up though with a soft buck of your hips, silently giving him the green light to move. And move he did, desperately chasing his high as he dragged his cock in and out of your weeping cunt. You watched as his eyes glazed over and his face flushed, aiming every thrust of his hips to perfectly hit your g-spot and pull another sangria sweet moan from your mouth.

Geto had imagined what your pussy would feel like before. Countless times late at night, with his shirt between his teeth as he wished his hand was you. A few times with girls who looked kinda like you at a party, where half way through he’d have to shove her face in the pillow, and close his eyes to see your face. Hell, he had even imagined it a few times when he was drunkenly fucking Satoru’s throat. None of it could even come close to the euphoria he got from the actual thing. 

He was convinced your pussy was actually made for him. The way your walls perfectly fit him, warm and weeping, begging him to fuck you. His pace was brutally set, every thrust in making you flutter around him and his spine shiver. He wasn’t going to last nearly as long as he wanted and that thought was driving him mad.

“Fuck, pretty girl, you were made for me,” He slurred softly into your ear, “You feel so fucking amazing, so good. I knew you had a slut in you,” He huffed a soft chuckle, “And it’s all for me, isn’t it Doll? Who else could make you feel this good?”

“No one, all yours..” You moaned, trying to keep up with him, but faltering as you fought against wave after wave after wave of euphoria crashing into your senses. Your nervous system was fried beyond belief at this point, asking you to speak was just inhumane.

“Atta girl,” He praised as his hand reached down to massage your clit, setting even more fireworks off inside of your veins and behind your eyes. He wanted you- No, he needed you, carnally. Something inside him wasn’t going to be able to function anymore if he didn’t have you by his side. He could feel the chemicals in his brain reworking themselves in real time, his body flushed and buzzed with desire. The world could be crumbling around the two of your right now and he doubted he’d even notice. 

The coil that was forming inside of you was tightening at an alarming rate, your pussy already sensitive from coming once before. Your body reacted to Suguru in ways it hadn’t reacted to anything or anyone before, and it left you feeling like you were on fire as you got lost in the feelings between your legs. You felt your muscles tighten and contract, and you tried to warn him, you truly did. 

Before you could even open your mouth to form the words though, the coil snapped, opening the floodgates to a sea of pleasure that overrode any of your higher cognitive power. It was like lightning had struck, your buzzing body being electrocuted to life as dopamine and ecstasy exploded out of your brain and into your nervous system, leaving you shaking and trembling as (you think) you yelled out his name.

Suguru didn’t let up for even a second, watching the way your face contorted and scrunched in pleasure. It was an image he wanted in his mind for the rest of time. “‘M gonna cum,” He huffed, trying to find his own ability to speak, “‘gonna cum so hard, let me cum inside, baby. Please, please, let me have you...” You whined almost pathetically under him, the pleasure from your ongoing orgasm becoming almost painful with Geto’s refusal to let up. His hand finally left your clit, trying to find stability on the pillow to try and brace himself for his own oncoming high.

Only for you to intertwine your fingers with his. Letting him press your hand into the cushion under your head, your angelic doe eyes filled with pleasure induced tears and lust and what he wanted to believe was love, met his own. His eyes, filled with need and desire, and unadulterated adoration. Your lips quivered when they parted.

“S-Suguru…” You whimpered softly.

He came the hardest that he had ever cum in his life. Right then and there, deep inside you. He had to throw his head down and bite your shoulder to keep the rest of this party from hearing the expletives that spewed from his mouth, mixed with your name and words of praise. He was thankful even now he could hear the music from the festivities, hopefully none of them heard the two of you together. Those sounds were only for him.

He was breathing hard, but not nearly as hard as you. He barely kept himself from collapsing on top of you. “You still with me Sweetheart?” 

“Yeah…I’m with you…” You nodded out with a soft nod. He forced himself to pull out, and you wanted to bite him for doing it. You went from feeling full and complete to more empty than you ever had in your life, and you hated it. He hummed softly as he collapsed next to you, and pulled you tight against his chest. “I’m so tired..” You muttered.

He kissed your forehead. “Then get some sleep, Doll. I got you.” He assured you as he cuddled up next to you, feeling particularly tired himself.

“You’re gonna leave…” You whimpered, regret started to seep in as you remembered what kept you from ever doing this in the first place. Suguru adamantly shook his head, gently pulling your head up to look him in the eyes.

“No baby, I promise. I’m not going anywhere.” And for as many times as he had used that line in the past, for the first time in his entire life, he truly thought meant it. 

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thank you lovlies, for supporting my work! @sk8ttles, @blkkizzat,@littyasatittyyy,@ketchupsush1,

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[lilyginnyblackv2]

I think a lot of Buddy Daddies fans will be interested in this article by Unseen Japan entitled:  How discriminatory comments by Japanese Prime Minister Kishida Fumio's secretary may lead to actual reform on LGBTQ+ issues in Japan.

Here is an excerpt from the article (with text provided underneath):

Text: Just days after Prime Minister Kishida minced words on legalizing same-sex marriage, his secretary Arai Masayoshi made things worse. Speaking to reporters off the record, Arai expressed his distaste for sexual minorities, saying, “I don’t want them living next to me either. ”Arai’s comments very much made it on the record. The ensuing backlash led to Kishida summarily sacking him. Arai’s blatant discrimination prompted politicians and activists to decry his comments and reignited discussions on the government’s failure to protect sexual minorities.

(Bold done by me for emphasis and to highlight what Arai said, specifically.)

There are also a lot of quotes by politicians in the article as well. One, Koizumi Shinjiro, makes this comment:

Text: Looking at the news reports on these statements, once again I feel that the government’s efforts to tackle the declining birth rate on a different dimension will never come to fruition if their policy is based on denying diverse values and ways of life [3].

It should be noted that many of the politicians, activists, and every day people in Japan do not agree with these sentiments and actually support same-sex marriage rights. Unseen Japan made a Twitter post about this, which I will link below.

Text:  A new telephone poll by Kyodo News says that, in the wake of discriminatory comments against LGBTQ people by PM Kishida’s (former) secretary, a full 64% of people in Japan support same sex marriage rights. Only 24.9% oppose.

And the wild thing is that Buddy Daddies is airing right now, right when it seems like issues regarding same-sex marriage, discrimination, and general rights are all starting to reach a boiling point in Japan. We have this show airing about two hitmen living together and raising a child together. IN MODERN DAY 2023 JAPAN.

That’s the big thing. They aren’t raising a kid together in a made up fantasy land or in a sci-fi future world or in a city based off of NYC. Kazuki and Rei are raising Miri in modern day, 2023, Japan. 

When Kazuki and Rei are at Miri’s daycare, listening to her speech with all the other parents (moms, really) like this:

They are going to be perceived as a same-sex couple. When the government official was looking over their paper work like this:

He was perceiving them as a same-sex couple. 

We know that one of the theme’s of the series is “two people of the same sex raising a child together.” That was a modern day theme that they wanted to explore. And they are exploring it so mundanely. Like, there are some ridiculous aspects to the series, but those aspects aren’t connected to them being two guys raising a child. The ridiculous stuff usually stems from the conflicting aspects of their job and caring for Miri + their general personalities.

Instead, we are getting a story that is normalizing the concept of a same-sex couple (as society would perceive them) raising a kid together. Right when there is a shitstorm going on in the Japanese government around discriminatory statements about sexual minorities by the PM, the PM’s secretary, and other politicians in PM’s political party in the past (like back in 2018).

This is kinda revolutionary by not being revolutionary at all, and just presenting everything in a realistic and normal way (in regards to the more SOL aspects, anyway). And that, in the current Japanese social and political climate surrounding LGBT+ based issues, makes it a very queer series. Even if the creators weren’t intending on that. 

And now, I am done finishing on this topic (at least for now), lol.

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: I Can’t Help Myself*

————————————————————————-

Summary: While Joe’s away doing foundation stuff, there's an overwhelming amount of photos of him popping up on Twitter and Instagram. All of them had you patiently waiting for your fiance's arrival home.

Warnings: Smut

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagines Universe: Just the Two of Us

A/N: Apron and shirtless Joe have me feral, had to speed-write this.

————————————————————————-

March 3rd, 2024

It all started with an innocent text from my bestie.

Attachment: 1 Image… Tumblr is going crazy over this right now!

At that moment, I shook my head with a laugh at my best friend's text. She was on Tumblr to keep up with her celebrity crushes, but one day, she jokingly looked my fiance's name up. She would never give me details about what was on the ‘tag’, but she'd now and then tell me what was up with Joe Burrow Tumblr.

Joe had left the house earlier today for a foundation event at a soup kitchen here in Cincy. Robin and Jimmy, Joe’s parents, had come from Athens and were going with him.

By the looks of the picture my best friend sent, Joe wasn't having as bad of a time as he anticipated he would. This morning was full of endless grumbles before I eventually shoved Joe out of the door, but he was smiling in the picture as he poured some soup into a bowl.

He seriously looked adorable. The Guinness hat gives him an oddly innocent look, while the apron he's wearing adds to the cuteness factor.

I'm so buying that man an apron to wear when we're cooking. I thought to myself, giggling out loud.

After sending my bestie a quick response back, I pulled up Joe’s contact.

Nice apron, cutie. 😉

Naturally, It was a while later when Joe answered, but his response set butterflies off in my stomach.

Depending on the intentions behind the wink emoji, I could ask to bring one home if it works ya up.

Taking a few moments to calm down, I shot a nonchalant response back to Joe.

The hat too?

The hat too. I draw the line at the plastic gloves, though. I gotta feel you with no barriers, baby.

How this man can control every pulse point in my body with just his words will never fail to amaze me.

Shit, my mom was reading that beside me. 😬

JOSEPH LEE BURROW.

My stomach dropped at the thought of Robin reading her son practically dirty-talking to me. That's next-level embarrassment.

I'm joking, babe. See you later, with an apron and hat.

Omg, Joe! If I was with you right now, you'd get smacked in the back of the head. I love you, though. See ya later!

Love you too. 😘

This morning, Joe woke up ready to go. I'm not talking about being ready to go to the foundation event, I'm talking about sex.

Joe woke up most mornings wanting a quick romp to start the day, so it had slowly become a part of our daily routine.

It was a different story today, though.

—

Still naked from the previous night’s lovemaking session, Joe had pulled me into him as our lips met. I'd just gotten close enough to grind on his erection when Joe’s phone rang on the nightstand.

“You should probably get that.” - you said between kisses

Joe groaned out of annoyance when he pulled away and grabbed his phone, rolling his eyes when he saw the caller ID.

“Who is it?” - you stroked his chest

“My mom.” - Joe

“Why'd you roll your eyes then?” - you

He sighed and pulled me into his chest, moving his hips away, knowing any friction would make him lose control.

“She treats me like a little kid every time we have one of these foundation events.” - Joe

“You're her baby, Joe. She’s just looking out for you.” - you

Joe nodded with a sigh and accepted the call.

“Hey Mom, yeah I'm awake.” - Joe

His deep, raspy morning voice made my cheeks heat up, and I hid my blush in his chest.

“My shirt’s been ironed, yes. y/n ironed it and laid it out last night.” - Joe

The silence gave me the ability to hear what Robin was saying, and the words she said only made my heart flutter.

“You better have thanked her. Joe, I don't think you realize how lucky you are to have that woman by your side.” - Robin

“I'm very lucky, Mom. Wouldn't be who I am without her.” - Joe

“Make sure she knows that. I'll see you later, sweetie!” - Robin

“Bye, Mom.” - Joe

I cuddled closer to Joe, listening to him mumble a quick “Yes, I love you too” before hanging up.

“Wouldn't be where you are without me, huh sheisty?” - you laughed

“Shut it.” - Joe rolled his eyes

A few seconds of content silence passed before Joe cleared his throat and sat up.

“Okay, I'm like super horny right now, but I'm gonna push that away because I've been thinking about something.” - Joe

“What's that?” - you

“We still haven't told anybody that I proposed. I told you we could wait till we got back to Cincy, and we've been back for weeks. I'm trying to say that we need to tell our families soon.” - Joe

“Oh ok, that's fine. Whenever you want to, I'm down.” - you

“Actually? Just like that?” - Joe

I giggled and gently reached out to comb back the curls that had fallen over on Joe’s forehead.

“Yeah, just like that. It's been fun keeping it just between us, but I want nothing more than telling our family we’re gonna get married.” - you

“Can I also ask you about something else?” - Joe

“Mhm.” - you

Joe sighed and took a second to clear his thoughts.

“You okay?” - you

“Yeah… I'm just trying to pay attention, it's kinda hard to, you know…” - Joe

He flicked his head down toward the tented sheet covering his lap.

“Focus, babe.” - you laughed

“Okay, uhm… what if we got married earlier than this coming offseason?” - Joe

“What do you mean?” - you tilted your head to the side

“What if we got married at the courthouse, no one else there? Just you, me, and the judge. It could be as soon as next month or as late as a week before our actual ceremony.” - Joe

I let his idea sink in, thinking about how sweet his idea of getting married soon is.

“I’m listening.” - you smiled

“We won't do our big vows or even exchange rings yet, just the license saying we're married, and hopefully your name change.” - Joe grinned

“y/n Burrow.” - you

Joe grinned from ear to ear, a blush on his cheeks as he heard my first name paired with his last name.

“Always thought that sounded perfect. I remember thinking about it on the first day of college during roll call. I couldn't take my eyes off of you after our professor said your name, and I thought about your last name as Burrow.” - Joe

“You're adorable.” - you

“Thanks.” - Joe

A few seconds went by without either of us saying something, but Joe broke it with a sigh.

“Are we going to continue what we were doing before your mom called?” - you

“Sadly, I have to start getting ready. Waiting will make tonight even better, though.” - Joe winked

“How do you know I'll even want it later?” - you

“You will, baby. You always do.” - Joe

—

Now, here I was, staring at a picture of my fiance pouring soup into a bowl.

Something about the moment just screamed husband.

Maybe it was the adorable apron. Or hat. Or plastic gloves.

Whatever it was, I wanted more of it. More of him. All of him.

My thoughts lingered to the most intimate moments with Joe. Catching myself before I got too worked up, I pulled up my phone to scroll through Instagram.

As soon as I did, though, my plan of a distraction was shot to hell.

Justin Hillard made a post of the Arizona trip the boys went on and one of the last slides showcased a sweaty, shirtless Joe.

“Where's Joe when you need him.” - you groaned

—

What felt like hours later, I heard the garage door open signaling Joe was home.

A minute later, his tall frame was striding into the kitchen. I watched him look around for a second before his eyes landed on me.

A grin formed on his lips as he walked up to the couch. Joe dropped to his knees in front of me and leaned in for a kiss.

When I went to pull away, Joe grabbed the back of my neck to keep me in place. After a few minutes of making out, Joe finally pulled away.

“Sorry, I really needed that.” - Joe sheepishly smiled

“It's alright, I did too.” - you smiled

“How was your day? I didn't leave you too bored, right?” - Joe

“My day was good, and no. I spent most of it obsessing over the new pics of you.” - you

“Felt like I never left then, huh?” - Joe

“Dead wrong. Staring at the pictures only made me miss you more.” - you

I watched as Joe teasingly licked his lips, never once breaking eye contact.

“Why's that?” - Joe

“Cut the shit, Joe. You know exactly why.” - you

“Because we didn't have sex this morning? That's why you missed me?” - Joe

“Well, that's not the only reason why. I naturally hate being away from you, but yes sex has something to do with it.” - you

Joe reached out and placed his hand on my inner thigh, nestling his hand against my crotch.

“Wanna go upstairs then?.” - Joe

I nodded, and Joe was quick to stand up and pick me up bridal style.

Giggles flew from both of our lips as Joe hurried up the stairs to our bedroom.

Soon, Joe was laying me on the bed and crawling on top of me.

“I love you.” - you said between kisses

Joe smiled and returned the sentiment, my arms wrapping around his neck as we kissed.

“Listen let's just get straight to it. I've been looking forward to this all day.” - you

“You don't want the tongue & finger combo first?” - Joe

I laughed at his bluntness before nodding my head.

“I need you inside me.” - you

“Fuck, I love hearing you say that.” - Joe

Joe placed his lips back on mine and shifted his weight onto one arm, lifting the other hand to unzip his fly.

I helped him shed his pants off, but Joe took my hand away when I reached for his boxers. He sat back on his knees for a second to pull his shirt over his head, quickly returning to his position above me when he was done.

My arms were around his shoulder as Joe slowly dropped his hips to grind on me. Just seconds later he'd pull away to take my clothes off.

When we were both naked, Joe’s lust-filled eyes scanned over my body before reversing course and locking with mine.

“God, you're beautiful, baby.” - Joe

After Joe lined himself up to my entrance, he slowly pushed inside. Making sure I felt every inch of him.

“You feel so good.” - Joe groaned

“You too…” - you

“So hot and wet for me, baby.” - Joe

Joe didn't move for a minute, just savoring the feeling of my walls wrapped around his hard cock.

“Joey, move, please?” - you

I watched him nod before he leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to my cheek. Joe formed a path of kisses from my cheek to my lips.

Once he met my lips, Joe slipped out of me before slamming his cock back inside.

Both of us moaned loudly when his tip hit my cervix, my walls squeezing Joe’s thrusting cock as he set a rough pace.

“You feel insane.” - Joe moaned

“I've been dreaming about this… all day.” - you

A few minutes later, Joe and I were still locked together at mouth and crotch.

“I'm not gonna last much longer.” - Joe moaned

“Me… neither.” - you

Joe’s face contorted as the overwhelming pleasure coursed through his body. His cute nose scrunching as his eyes are clenched shut.

“Oh, fuck!” - Joe grunts

Seconds later, with a shaky hand, Joe reaches down to where we were connected and rubbed my clit with his thumb. His thrusts became uneven but never once unsatisfactory.

“Joey! I'm gonna cum!” - you moaned

It wasn't much longer after that when I fell over the edge, moaning Joe’s name through my climax.

Joe continued his thrusts before rushing to get as deep as he could.

His head fell back, and his mouth fell open. A moan and grunt of my name leaves his pretty pink lips as he cums.

After his orgasm, Joe fell forward and on top of me. Burying his face in my neck as he stayed inside me, fading out the experience.

I reached a hand up and cupped the back of Joe’s head, slowly running my fingers through his unruly curls. The comforting sounds of our mutual heavy breath and the ceiling fan created a soft moment.

“You really liked that apron, huh?” - Joe

“Yeah.” - you giggled

Joe stayed there for a bit, enjoying being cuddled before he eventually pulled out and hopped out of bed.

My eyes lingered on his perfectly plump butt as Joe walked into our bathroom, later returning with a washcloth to clean us both up.

He strode up to me as I stayed lying in the bed. Joe softly caressed my thighs while gently spreading my legs apart.

I hummed in contentment at the feel of the warm washcloth, and Joe only smiled at the sound.

After cleaning himself up too, Joe slipped on a pair of clean boxers.

“Do you want one of my shirts to sleep in? Panties too, maybe?” - Joe

“Just one of your shirts will be fine.” - you smiled

Joe nodded and disappeared into the closet. A few seconds later, he walked back in with one of his pregame shirts that was from a previous season.

“Lean up for me, baby.” - Joe

I did his bidding and Joe slipped the top over my head, making sure my arms went through the sleeves.

“Comfy?” - Joe

He walked around the bed and climbed into his side.

“Very, and it smells like you.” - you grinned

“I hope that's a good thing.” - Joe laughed

“It's a very good thing, you smell delicious.” - you

Joe chuckled as he pulled me into his chest, one of his big hands running over my back as my head was hidden in Joe’s neck.

“I love you.” - you

“I love you more.” - Joe

He lovingly stroked my hair, providing tender words of affirmation and holding me tightly in his arms during their comforting aftercare ritual.

“Oh shit, do you know what I just realized?” - Joe

“What?” - you

“My apron is down in my car. I forgot to show you.” - Joe sighed

“It's okay. You can show me tomorrow.” - you giggled

“Guess what.” - Joe

I narrowed my eyes, trying to see his expression in the dark but failing.

“What?” - you

“I grabbed one for you too.” - Joe smiled

“Oh my god.” - you laughed

“I couldn't help myself!” - Joe

He laughed along with me before we both paused, coincidently yawning in sync, which ended in another laughing fit.

“Goodnight, baby.” - you

“Goodnight, my love.” - Joe

————————————————————————-

Authors note: because Joe was illegally fine that day.

Came from my own head! 💞

[tkaulitzlvr]

OUT OF LOVE - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: once tom realises how much your relationship has lost the love within it because of the distance he has put between you both, it’s his job to make it up to you.

content: angst to smut.

a/n: my first post!! i hope you all enjoy!

lately, tom and i's relationship has hit a bump in the road. each conversation lit an already short fuse within the both of us, the smallest of words capable of creating an unnecessary yet very real dispute that would leave us silent for hours, and in the worst of cases not talking for days. but it wasn't just the things we said, it was whatever we didn't say, too. physical touch was usually a huge part of our relationship, but now, i couldn't remember the last time that i had properly kissed him. it had gotten to the point where we slept on different sides of the bed, refusing to lay in eachother's embrace as we usually would.

as each day dragged on, feeling like tom and i were moving further away from eachother, i failed to even remember how we ended up this way in the first place. we had a perfect relationship, filled with love and trust, those the foundation of what made us, us. everyone knew that we loved eachother, we were the 'it couple'. whilst we had small disputes just as every couple did, it had never reached this point - yet it showed no sign of stopping.

which is why it brought me no surprise that tom had already become irritated from my single question, asking him where he'd been after returning home late yet again, this becoming a habitual occurrence since the beginning of whatever our distance could be called.

"look, i was just out, okay? what is this a fucking interrogation?" tom fires out, frustration laced in his tone as he throws his keys on the table.

"im sorry for worrying about my boyfriend! i just wont give a shit next time, yeah?" i shoot back, confused on why he acts this way every time i start a simple conversation.

"yeah that'd be great, thanks." he mumbles sarcastically, scoffing and sinking into the sofa, flicking through the channels on the tv displayed infront of him.

"are you fucking kidding me tom?" i utter out, in complete disbelief of his childishness.

despite the clear anger in my voice, he stays silent, shaking his head slightly and continuing to look through the channels on the tv, this only fuelling my anger.

"can you listen to me for fucks sake?" my voice begins to raise as my patience is slowly wearing thin. i walk over to the tv, blocking his view and forcing him to look up at me, his eyes cold, an unrecognisable glare within them in place of the usual love that emits from them whenever our gazes meet. 

"what?" he sighs, rubbing his forehead with his thumb and pointer finger.

"i'd appreciate it if you fucking listened to me, just for one second! i'm tired of sitting here alone, every night, wondering where the fuck you are because you're my boyfriend but i know nothing about you! i never get a text, a call, nothing! instead you come home at god knows what time, and act as if i don't exist. fuck tom, you won't even cuddle me in bed anymore." my voice begins to trail off, tears beginning to cloud my vision, my tongue instinctively hitting the roof of my mouth to stop them from falling.

he stays silent, breaking his eyes away from mine and staring into his lap, his fingers playing with the material of his jeans.

"do you even love me anymore?" i ask, genuinely questioning if he feels the same way he did when we first met, the man that fell in love with me no longer in front of me.

"what? of course i fucking love you. what kind of question is that?" his head shoots upwards, his eyebrows threading together as if i have asked the most ridiculous question, though it was one nagging on my mind.

"really? it doesn't seem like it." i reply, shaking my head and biting my lip, the tears now spilling beyond my control.

"i'm going to bed." i mumble, not waiting for a response from tom as i head for our shared bedroom. the sheets feel cold as i allow them to envelop me, the warmth that i would feel from tom's embrace lost, leaving me empty. it is impossible to fall asleep, my body laid on its side facing away from the door and staring motionless at the wall, longing to be in his arms, safe and content, free of the gut-wrenching realisation that our relationship is not the same as it was.

the door slowly creaks open after a while, my eyes quickly flicking shut as i pretend to be asleep, not keen on the idea of speaking to tom, not whilst his mind is acting so irrationally, mine sensitive enough that any argument would break down my already crumbling walls. i hear the bed dip beside me, tom laying flat on his back, whilst i stay put, not daring to look at him, instead keeping my back to him. the distance between us speaks volumes, tension reaching an all time high.

after a few minutes, the bed creaks, indicating that tom is moving from his initial position. as he has done for the past nights, i expect him to shuffle to the edge of the bed, increasing our already far proximity and confirming the fact that he cannot bare the thought of being near me.

however, much to my disbelief, i feel an arm droop around my waist from behind, tom's hand gently touching my stomach as he tests the waters, clearly thinking that i am deep in sleep. deciding to stay still, my eyes remain closed, accepting this small act of affection, for it is all i have experienced in the past weeks. but, to my surprise, he doesn't stop there.

he moves closer, his chest now flush against my back, pulling me tighter into him as i feel his uncertain breathing against the nape of my neck. my breath instinctively hitches at his unexpected actions, alerting him of my consciousness.

"baby?" he whispers into the dark room, not moving as he awaits my response.

"hm?" i mutter, unsure of what to say, not intending to reveal the fact that i was in fact awake, my cover completely blown as i lay, small and vulnerable, beside him, his body against me for the first time in forever. the uncertainty of what his response will be creates a sickly feeling in my chest. he could want to fight, to let out the last of his anger from our unfinished argument. or, he could want to fix things, to be the boyfriend he used to be. and right now, my mind was going with the first option, assuming the worst and bracing myself for more of his harsh words.

"we need to talk." he speaks, his breath fanning against my neck with each word.

i knew that he was right, my heart aching slightly as the possibility of resolving whatever the fuck we have become finally starts to feel real, not just something that i have longed for.

refusing to face him, i slowly nod my head, awaiting his response, the sound of our steady breathing the only thing to be heard in the silent room.

"i'm so sorry baby." he speaks, slowly and sincerely, his hand that is draped over my stomach beginning to slowly caress the bare skin there, comforting me in the best way. tears begin to silently roll down my cheeks as i struggle to find the right words to say.

he takes my silence as a chance to continue. "what happened to us my love, hm?" he begins, sighing slowly and increasing his hold on me, the pet name causing my heart to swell, making me realise how much i truly missed his affection, wether it be verbal or physical - i just craved him.

short sniffles emit from my mouth, giving away my weakness faster than i would have preferred. tom quickly picks up on this, finally turning me to face him, our eyes meeting, his immediately softening once he takes in my state - eyes bloodshot, tears staining my cheeks, mouth curved into a frown.

"oh baby..." he trails off, taking his hand and beginning to wipe my tears away one by one, the other gently stroking my hair. i melt into his touch, allowing him to comfort me silently. "i can't carry on like this, i just- i need to be with you again, not just in a relationship with you, i want to actually feel close to you again."

he pours his heart out, all whilst wiping any loose tears that fell from my eyes, which never left his, the love in them beginning to flood back as i can slowly recognise the man i fell in love with.

"do you really think that i don't love you anymore?" he asks, guilt evident in his tone as he feels nothing but anger for making me doubt how he felt about me.

i try to find the right words, swallowing nervously. "you didn't want to be anywhere near me tom. i can't even remember the last time you told me that you loved me." uttering those words made me realise how bad things had really gotten. tom would tell me he loved me at every chance he got, never failing to remind me of how he felt. but looking back, those three words felt so foreign that my mind couldn't even remember when he had last uttered them. and the realisation hit him just as hard as it did me.

"oh meine liebe...i'm so sorry." he starts, now slowly kissing away each tear that stained my tinted cheeks, holding my face gently in his hands. "i love you. i love you so so much. never ever forget that, okay?"

i nod my head, swallowing the lump in my throat away. "i love you too."

a slight smile appears on his face, my hand reaching to his head as i pull it closer, playing with the loose braids there. tom takes advantage of our nearing proximity, grabbing my face and gently connecting his lips with mine. for the first time in days, our lips touched, immediately moulding together as if they had never been apart. he smiles into the kiss, moving his hands to my lower back, pulling me closer to him and embracing me, our lips never parting. the desire, the passion in which our lips collided reaffirming our love without the need for words, my body and soul slips further into his touch, reminding me just how much i missed intimate moments like this with him.

he slowly pulls away for air, his lips, now pink and swollen, flush against mine, foreheads touching. "i promise baby, that i'll never give up on us, no matter how hard it gets. i'll never stop loving you, ever."

deciding that actions speak louder than words, i reconnect our lips once more, with much more desire and hunger than the previous one. he picks up on this need, reciprocating it and pressing his lips so hard onto mine that my breathing becomes muffled and there is no option of pulling away - but in this moment, parting from him doesn't even cross my mind. his hand moves to my thigh, placing it over his and kneading the flesh roughly as we lay facing each other, a small whimper escaping my mouth at his actions. our lips fail to part, making up for the lost kisses that we had so desperately yearned for.

lust soon takes over the innocence, my need for him growing by the second as our kisses become harsher, his tongue entering my mouth, mine gladly reciprocating. "i love you." he whispers breathlessly against my lips, pulling away slowly and studying my face. his thumb tugs at my lip, his eyes never leaving mine as he drags it down the now plump skin at an agonisingly slow pace, until he releases my bottom lip, it quickly bouncing back into place, his thumb now slightly wet with my saliva.

"you're so beautiful." he whispers, caressing my cheeks, taking in every inch of me as if this is the first time he has seen me.

"i need you tom." i mutter, looking into his eyes with a glint of desperation, longing to feel him again, our distance meaning it has been so long since we have kissed like we just did, let alone fuck.

within seconds, his lips are back on mine, his body moving in one swift motion on top of me without breaking the kiss, hands clutching mine, mirroring the hunger i feel.

"then i'm all yours." he mutters against my lips, reattaching them and entering his tongue as i gladly accept, moaning slightly into the kiss, a small smirk appearing on his lips in response.

he pulls away, looking into my eyes before reaching for the hem of my t-shirt and whispering "can i?"

i slowly nod my head, the soft fabric being pulled off my body and somewhere on the floor, both tom and i too needy to care where. his eyes scan my body, a hint of adoration within his eyes, his hands reaching for my small lace bra, undoing the back and tossing it aside. he pauses, gazing down at me, drinking in my features, everything exposed to him. despite the look of awe on his face, insecurity takes over, and my hands instinctively cover my breasts, breaking eye contact from him.

tom quickly takes his hands, placing them over mine and moving them away so that he could see me once again. "don't cover yourself, you're so beautiful."

i hesitantly nod my head, moving to remove tom's shirt, his chiselled abs and torso now on display. refusing to break eye contact, my hand slowly runs down the skin, feeling every bump, every muscle there, his breathing hitching as i do so. it has been so long since i had felt his bare skin against mine that it almost didn't feel real, my being lost in pleasure despite us not taking anything further yet.

i soon become impatient, pulling his face downwards and kissing him once more, his hands reaching for my panties and slowly pulling them down, soon removing his boxers, leaving us completely naked.

he pulls away, staring into my eyes and positioning himself at my entrance. "are you sure my love?" he asks, searching my expression for any sense of doubt, hating the idea of forcing me to do anything.

"yes...just fuck me, please." i breathe out, craving the feeling i have missed so much.

he smiles slightly, before slowly sliding in, groaning as he does so, my walls clenching around him, not used to his size as it has been so long since we have last done this. once he is fully inside, he stops. "you okay baby? does it hurt?"

"no...move tom." i reply, and he slowly begins thrusting in and out of me at a steady pace, whines emitting from my mouth as my eyes squeeze shut. his head finds the crook of my neck, groaning into it and beginning to kiss the skin, sucking lightly and leaving marks whilst speeding up his pace.

"oh my god." he mutters into the skin, his hands running up and down my waist until they find a stable hold on my hips, thrusting easier whilst his thumbs caress me, slightly digging in, however the slight pain only fuels my fire, moans now escaping from my mouth.

"oh tom..." i trail off, hands raking down his back, pulling him downwards so our bodies our flush against each other, desperate to feel any part of him, to be closer, despite him literally being inside me.

"i love you so much." he groans out, taking my legs and wrapping them around his waist.

he continues to thrust in and out of me, his tip hitting my g-spot, and i cry out. "oh god, right there tom..."

"here baby?" he taunts, hitting the spot again, causing my eyes to roll to the back of my head. he abuses that spot, my stomach beginning to tighten as the familiar feeling soon takes over.

i clench around him, feeling my release creep closer and closer. "fuck schatz, do that again." he breathes out, and i tighten my walls again, a choked moan escaping his mouth.

"i'm close." he manages to let out, speeding up his pace and capturing my lips into a kiss, moaning into my mouth. i struggle to kiss back, holding back sounds of pleasure each time he thrusts in and out, the sound of my heavy breathing muffled in the kiss.

"tom...i'm gonna, oh my god!" i cry out against his lips, feeling my release wash over me, eyes rolling to the back of my head as i swear i see stars.

"oh fuckkk..." tom drags out, throwing his head back, jaw slack as he follows, my release triggering his own, the feeling of his cum coating my walls emitting another small whine from my mouth.

he moves slowly, thrusting in and out whilst he rides out our highs before collapsing on top of me, sweat coating his forehead. his head rests in my neck, breathing uneven and heavy, planting gentle kisses on the bare skin. i struggle to catch my own breath, my fingers running through his hair, body trembling as the adrenaline slowly wears off.

"i love you so much my love. i'm sorry for everything, i promise i'll never treat you like that again." he says, planting a single kiss on my shoulder.

"i love you too." i reply, tom lifting his head upwards and meeting my lips in a soft kiss, pulling away and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"goodnight meine liebe." he whispers, placing the covers over the both of us as i snuggle closer, resting my head on his bare chest as he slowly strokes my hair, falling asleep in each other's embrace.

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

[garbinge]

That One Christmas Without Carmy

Michael "Mikey" Berzatto & Platonic!F!Reader

30 Day Fic Challenge (22/30)

Word Count: 2k A/N: A little flashback with Mikey.

Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of content. Mentions of abuse, angst, sadness, depression. Other fics from this universe The Bear Taglist: @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics @quixscentsposts @dadbodfanatic-x @adorable-punk-superheroes @lodeddiperrodrick @isalver @captainweasleybarnes @musicwithteeth @fancyvoidtragedy @shinebright2000 @knight4xmas @gills-lounge @navs-bhat @cosmicak @kmc1989

It was the one Christmas Carmy didn’t come home. With how things were with him, you weren’t shocked. He barely answered your texts, you talked for two minutes every few months. Things were just different, you knew he was distancing himself. It took some time but you put the pieces together as to why and weren’t going to force him into anything. 

You walked into the house, apple cider in your hand, something you did every year you came. Sugar hated that Donna drank herself a mess every holiday, which made bringing alcohol feel wrong, not to mention when you started coming over for these events as an adult, you were still under the legal drinking age and you knew food was off limits when Donna was cooking the 7 fishes. So apple cider it was. 

Not bothering to engage in whatever conversation was happening in the living room, you moved throughout the house looking for a quiet corner to just collect your thoughts. Life had been pretty rocky lately, you just moved back not that long ago and you still felt like you were trying to get your footing from being in Indiana with the jackass that was your ex. You weren’t sure what life held for you, but the pressure alone was enough to weigh you down. 

You let out the deepest sigh as you collapsed your back on the wall next to the pantry where Mikey was standing, the only quiet corner of the house that wasn’t the bathroom which was currently being hot boxed by the Faks. 

He let out a chuckle and a head shake, letting his long hair fall all crazy around him. 

“Just need a minute.” You stared at the ceiling. 

“Feel that.” Mikey was now staring up at the ceiling with you. “Sorry about the craziness.” 

“Ironically, Mikey, this is the most stable environment I’ve been in.” 

“You know that’s fucked, right?” He looked over at you with a smile. 

“Beats sitting in an empty house waiting for a santa that never comes.” You remembered the one Christmas in middle school where your dad told you he was going to visit Santa and to stay in the living room and he’d be back with gifts, he didn’t show back up for 3 days, and all he had in his hand was a public indecency ticket and a 6-pack. “I don’t think you get how much this shit means to me Mikey. You, Sug, Carm, shit, even Richie. You guys saved me, Donna being well,” you pointed to the kitchen as a way to replace any verb that just felt completely underwhelming in comparison of the action, “it’s something I’d happily deal with just to have your guys company.” 

“We love you, kid.” He grabbed your shoulder, staring at you. 

After a moment of silence, you spoke up. 

“You talk to him lately?” 

“No.” He answered quickly. “You?” He was now staring down at the floor, waiting for an answer.

“Not really. Maybe a month ago. He actually called me once, wished me a happy half birthday.” You chuckled and looked over at Mikey who was making a weird face. “It’s like a tradition.” You started to explain since he looked very confused. “We’ve done it since we were kids.” You shrugged. “But other than that and a text to let me know he wasn’t coming home, he hasn’t answered my calls. Barely texts me back.” 

“You know last year, he was standing right there where you are, giving me shit ‘bout talking to Claire Bear for him.” He laughed at the memory while you rolled your eyes. “Jealous?” Mikey caught you and smirked. 

“Barely.” You huffed. “It’s just so crazy you guys can’t see it.” You shrugged and looked at Mikey who was giving you a look like ‘are you going to continue?’. It made you laugh but you obliged. “You’re gonna make fun of me and him for saying this, but Carm, he’s so delicate. He gets tipped off his scale so easily you gotta ease him into things. I bet you, you, Richie, and Fak bum rushed him about how hot she is, and how he needs to hit that and whatever. That shit throws him off, you gotta be smooth with it. When he’s here, he’s waiting for something to tip the scales, that's why it’s so easy to tip.” 

“It was cousin Steve, not Fak, but you’re not wrong, that is what happened.” He nodded, letting his hand rest on the frame across from him as his head dropped and his back was still against the other side of the frame. “It’s like you’re his best friend or some shit.” It was meant as a joke, a light hearted comment but it held a lot more weight for you.

“I don’t know about that anymore.” 

“What happened to you out in Indiana. Could tell shits been different for you since then.” Mikey continued the conversation, his leg now lightly kicking the door frame as a subconscious tik. 

“Some really fucked shit happened. After all of it, I went to see Carmy, could tell he was working really hard to separate himself from this, and I just so happen to be a part of this. I think I tip the scales.” 

“If it makes you feel better, I most definitely tip the fuckin’ Carmy scales.” Mikey laughed, looking back down at the ground. 

“You know, you’re like a brother to me, Mikey.” That comment brought his eyes back up to you, his head nodding and his hair flopping all over the place as he acknowledged you. 

“I love you like a sister, you know this, sometimes even more than Sugar, you don’t ask Ma if she’s okay 20 times a day.” He teased, a smile growing on his face. 

It was nice to see him smile, it was so rare these days it felt like. 

“Your moms scales are easily tipped, too. Probably where Carm gets it.” You were now walking past him in the door frame and sitting on the radiator box that was parallel to the stairs. “Guess I got my dad’s scales, untippable.” You shrugged as you jumped up. 

“Think I got mine’s too.” Mikey’s eyebrows raised, he shifted his positioning, so he was facing you since you moved, but quickly mimicked how he was standing before, back against the door frame, hand on the opposite side holding him up. “How is your Pops?” 

You laughed and shook your head. “It’s Christmas Eve so, drunk, probably in a casino.” 

“Some things don’t change.” His eyes were now connected to yours. 

“And yet I feel like I can’t recognize my life anymore.” Your legs began to kick back and forth slightly hitting the radiator beneath you.

“Well, a lot of things do change.” Mikey shrugged, a smile growing on his face at the irony of his statements. 

“Funny guy.” You smiled back. 

“Bear made me this drawing that Christmas. Told me about Copenhagen.” He let out a deep sigh. “I tipped the scale though.” 

“He just misses you, Mike. Wishes he was doing this with you.” It was spoken like it was so obvious and Mikey missed all the signs. 

“He told you that?” It was curious how he asked, like he knew all along, but there was some shit no one but him knew that prevented it all from happening. 

“No, but I know he told you that, he’s my best friend, I've known him since we were kids, I know what he’s thinking before he thinks it.” You spoke jokingly but obviously.

“It’s just a mess here.” Mikey wasn’t in the mood to joke about this and you could tell that immediately.

“But it’s home.” You spoke in the same seriousness.The doorbell rang and you looked at Mikey and quickly nodded your head to the right. “I’ll get it.” 

Mikey stayed leaning against the pantry’s door frame as you walked over to the front door. With a smile, you tossed open the door, expecting to see Pete or even one of the Fak’s since they always managed to lock themselves out every year but your heart dropped when you saw him. 

“Hey, I uh, called your dad, said I could probably find you here.” 

The last time you saw this man was when Richie was pointing a gun at him in the middle of The Beef which was last year. That added with the fact that he mentioned talking to your father, you barely got to talk to him and he can just call him up and he offers up your information like its nothing. The feeling of your heart dropping was quickly being replaced with rage bubbling in every part of your boddy, but your hands and arms specifically. 

“What the fuck do you want.” It must’ve been obvious you were getting angry because the man in front of you lifted his arms in a sense on innocence but you knew there was nothing innocent about him. 

“Was back in the area, missed you, I know how much you love the holidays, figured maybe we could go out, catch up, or not talk at all.” His eyebrows raised and as he was talking you definitely smelt the alcohol on his breath. 

“You should actually get the fuck out of here.” Your hand was firm on the door, despite them shaking, ready to slam it closed. 

The man took a step forward now, his begging mixed with a desire to show power. As his hand rested on the door he began to slightly push it open against yours.  “Don’t be like that, I always hated when you were like that, you’re too pretty to have an attitude that ugly.” 

Suddenly, the pushing on the door stopped and you felt a hand right above yours. Turning you saw Mikey standing behind you, taking all the weight of the door in his hand as he held firm with a deep frown on his face. 

“Pretty sure she told you to get the fuck outta here.” 

You weren’t sure if you were mortified or happy someone had your back right now. 

“I’m talkin’ to the lady, alright, don’t mean to be a bother, you don’t–you don’t gotta get involved.” It was said to be nonchalant but anyone could have read between the lines. 

“No, you’re not talkin’ to the lady.” In a way so opposite of his other hand, Mikey lightly touched your shoulder and smiled at you as he nodded behind him. Quickly he was taking your hand in his and moving you behind him. “C’mere sweetheart, stand right there.” He turned his attention back to the man at the door and hardened his face again. “You’re talkin’ to me. Who are you?” 

“I’m a friend.” He pointed to you and tried to peak past Mikey at you. 

“You ain’t shit. This is my house, my property, and she’s my friend. So I’m gonna need you to get the fuck out of here.” Mikey gripped the guy up with such ease, if it wasn’t for the flex of his muscles and the veins on his arms popping out, it wouldn’t have been obvious as to how hard his grip around this guys neck was. He tossed him down the stairs almost like a ragdoll, it helped that the man was in the bag drunk and had little to no reflexes readily available anymore. “If you ring this doorbell or do any other shit in or around this house, I’ll kill you.” With that the door was being slammed and he was turning to look at you. It broke him to see someone he saw as family so scared, your eyes were terrified still. 

He was tossing his arm over your shoulder and pushing you back through the kitchen and to the dining room where the chaos was. A sure way to keep your mind off everything. 

“Hey, c’mon now. Ignore that, let’s steal one of those cannolis, yea?”