#we appreciate you anon
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*Picks up your spider sona and hold them at my side*
HEY! Donāt you dare yell at them for expressing their interests. They are very smart and passionate and precious. *glares in protective parent*
We love and support Happy in this house
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scooped michael afton gives me gender envy . i need his gender Now.
Michael Afton, the epitome of gender
#ask reply#the fact this one drawing of Michael has unlocked something in so many#NOT just gender envy but I did see a lot of that#BUT also I saw way more people saying Michael is hot BAHA#WHICH tbh I understand#I was proud how this drawing of him turned out!#so Iām glad everyone is also appreciating it in their own ways#we all love Michael here#I ALSO love how you anon pointed out specifically scooped Michael#based I think BAHA
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I love how you draw Aiden he looks so pissy and skrunkly/pos
WAAAA thank you so much dear anon! Iām currently giggling and kicking my feet
#mcsm#minecraft story mode#mcsm aiden#aiden mcsm#bunkinart#we all love Aiden#mcsm fanart#doodle#appreciation post#thank you anon
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do you think homelander could ever be in love with a girl whoās kind of a bimbo? not really that much going on upstairs and kind of materialistic but still loving? (iām just describing myself rn lol)
honestly my darling i think an earnest bimbo would do homelander good LOL someone without an agenda who doesn't have some big master plan. someone who isn't manipulating him. just an earnest lover who wants to have fun with him without turning into a mindless yes-man.
bimbo's get a bad rep tbh. you don't have to be an intellectual person to be fun and loving and kind, or even wise. i have lots of friends who self identify as bimbos and frankly they're some of my very favorite people.
#THIS IS A BIMBO APPRECIATION POST#besides we all have our bimbo moments#darling anon#ask and you shall receive
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i am now officially in 2025 so happpppy happy happy new year my lovelies<333333333333 thank you for spending your time with me here thank you for letting me do whatever it is that i'm doing thank you for reading my silly little writings it all means the fucking world to me!!!!!!!!!!! i hope this new year will be gentle with all of us i hope it will be good and fun and exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope we will all find jobs and our dream homes and i hope our health will get better aaand i hope we can all do the things we love and enjoy and that we get to hang out here aaaand that we will keep cheering each other on!!!!!!!!!!!!!I LOVE YOUUUU!!!!!!!!!!
#i am soooso proud of all of you#it has been a Year#but we have made it yayyyyyyyy#i've made so many great friends and honestly.. i have no idea where i'd be without you guys#i love you#thank you for everything<333333333#i will try to get better and do better and give more back because well . you all deserve the best of the best okay#and that is a fact#sorry i can't really express how i feel like this but i just really really hope you know how much i appreciate all of you#i will try to get better at that too#thank you to all of my lovely followers and my anons#thank you my dear mutuals#thank you for being so patient and so supportive#i genuinely couldn't wish for anything more you're all so fucking good to me#thank you thank you thank you#MWAH AND MWAH AND MWAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!#mayor of loserville
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Itās such a shame that Linkin Parkās new vocalist is a Scientologist who supports rapists
... She's a what?
Edit: adding this article (idk if it's a decent source) but from the looks of things anon isn't lying. I wish they were
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You have made me interested in balloon smp but I feel so old and of touch because I cannot find the past streams on twitch. Cannot figure out where and in which order to watch...can I ask where you've been watching the videos/streams?
ok, so, thereās ~36 people all doing it concurrently, which is a lot. But! Here is the list of players, if you know someone you like on that list pick them and just watch sequentially day 1->finale. if you donāt know Anyone on there and you want a point to start at for just. Getting most of the plot, pick someone from A B or C. Or E. Team F has a really great plot but they stay a bit out of the overarching plot until the last weeks, and I havenāt gotten to team D yet so I donāt know what they know im sorry team d š„ŗ
Many of the players have VOD channels up on YouTube or playlists of balloon vods specifically, lots of people who donāt have the streams in their twitch archives somewhere (like, āpast broadcastsā usually), look for player vod channels. Some donāt have saved archives and some didnāt stream it! I know for certain sophie robby skull kuu gibson buggle and jame have up to date vod channels because Iāve seen themā¦ woops and skullvolver are making edited videos rn but theyre Both team aā¦ and im not sure who else is planning on it!
tldr, pick someone and watch them in order and peek in on other peoplesā vods from time to time when something Happens because sometimes seeing it from another angle is cool. Also, sometimes seeing it from another angle is Important because thereās Lore no one else got to see. Search āplayername vodsā on YouTube and it should direct you to the right place.
more specifics that kinda get into spoilers:
Hereās some plots of interest that certain people see and others donāt (ONLY BASED ON WHAT I KNOW I am not a lore master I donāt have 36x8x32ā¦ uhā¦ good gravy 576 possible hours. of content. I DONT HAVE 576 HOURS TO SIT AND WATCH STREAMS someone was going to put together a lore doc somewhere though):
woops: tries to keep track of lore, goes on ghost knight swordquest
sophiebaybey: unwitting accessory to world murder, sees WAY more of PG and balloons lore than most people on account of The Events.
skullvolver/socksbx: revenant revengequest x2 and soul link plot, also socks is a mod and they get up to some funny business. poke in and watch one of them for the end of day 14 trust me š«µ
robbydude: doomer gnome made me cry but thatās not important. ghostquest continues upon the holy land even if we DONT WANT IT TO. jerry mouse is there
jame7t: sees kind of all of it from a distance, good coverage, citadel time (I like building streams)
shinigamieater: itās possession clues. What if you were 15 ants of dubious morality in a human body
padabana: instigates the end of the world, once if youāre realistic twice if youāre being pedantic. itās paranoia clues
kaoiji: thereās time travel, and it gets worse from there but I canāt FIND their vods so im redirecting you to robbydude
renobee: GOD??????????
#blsmp#uh if anyone has plots of interest to add I am also interested so you can put those in here#ask#ALSO I WILL come back and say two things number one.#this is tuoys. theyāre playing soap opera. it gets pretty dramatic and intense but if they actually fought we wouldnt know about it#so if youāre a bit sensitive to arguing maybe relax and step back. those are friends on the internet playing characters donāt be weird#One and a half it ALSO gets pretty silly which is why I keep coming back itās very silly#two this is all improv with Some direction by the mod team SO IF YOU WANT TO APPRECIATE THE MOD TEAMā¦#THEY HAVE A KOFIā¦ STILL UPā¦ā¦ā¦.#to support the devs they made So many custom events and models and sounds itās cool#https://ko-fi.com/balloonsmp ā¦ coughsā¦#anyways. Anon; I would never say my way of doing it was best but hereās what I did:#woops from day 1->end. robbydude day 1->end. Wildly skip around buggle jame kuu gibson skull socks yoda and ausk#wildly skip back and forth between sophie and Holly because I got end of evangelionād at the end of gibsons stream and went HEYYYYYY#hooray! Discovery! Itās like digging for clues in here. enrichment for fisher#you donāt get the full story with One perspective and itās cool!#uhhhmmm im trying to decide whoās best to watch for the finale but. I donāt know. Gibsonās my favorite so far for finale vibes#sorry for yapping itās early and I have been putting off packing my suitcase for 4 hours. Ehe#I would also say that in the beginning no one contacts each others teams so disparate things happen#but by the end theyāre all working together so a lot of things repeat if you watch multiple perspectives
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https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GhLudUPbAAADOEQ?format=jpg&name=large
šš
YEAH SURE OKAY THAT MAKES SENSE SFJKSGFKGSKDGSKDHKSFDKGJKDFJKSF
the dude on top just seemed way too far up the other guy's back to me for that to be it but they also have to deal with blocking and angles and movements to make sure the scene actually works out, so im simply going to appreciate everyone's commitment to it
but also ngl this position looks like a trip to the ER with a sprained penis just waiting to happen to me like it seems so unnecessary complicated sfjksgdjsg but hey. WHATEVER FLOATS THEIR BOAT WE DO NOT JUDGE HERE
#maybe i shouldn't post this but fuck it we ball#i already have the adult tag on it anyway#ANYWAY. thank you for letting me know anon it was appreciated!!!!!#hope you're having a wonderful day!!!!! š#sangmin dinneaw#m: ask
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Iām still thinking about that post i rbed earlier today about self shippers of color esp black ones having to deal with so much racism bc no fandom space is ever safe for them and everyone in the tags being like āwe need to do better to make this a safer community!ā and literally i have to be like hang on were yall not doing that before?
#you donāt have to answer that I know the answer š#and I do appreciate the sentiment people do when they reblog self shippers of color youāre so valid š¤#posts#but I wish it didnāt have to take people being horrifically racist for ppl to start spreading that around šš#like Iām sorry but the way itās so casually baked into shit people left slurs under my pinned posts and straw pages just for the hell of#I know a lot of people donāt experience this its just the average being black on the internet experience#but like I donāt think a lot of people bat an eye or normally care unless someone makes a post being reasonably upset about it š#or weāre told weāre stirring up drama for. checks notes. someone being racist to us .#idk I feel crazy a little and it makes em want to rip my hair out my skull but itās okay we ball āš½#txt#the thing thatās frying me abt the straw page young I didnāt even have anon messages on just drawings š#someone took time to write a slur out . like BRO šš
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yoooooooooo guys how crazy are we feeling??
I've got insane ideas for this morgoth/sauron/reader fic
Like
Unusual ideas. I uhhhhh idk how crazy to go, like is balls to the wall, all guns blazing, every kink under the sun, too much??
Is there anything we fancy seeing?? Seriously, taking requests if yall have anything you want to see
What do we reckon, honest answers only lmao
#i am actually genuinely asking#would really appreciate any answer lmao#like a quick anon would do if you dont want to out yourself (i get it!!)#sauron x reader#sauron x morgoth x reader#tagging bc i wanna get some ideas off you all (literally nothing is too insane im here for wish fulfilment now lmao)#but for real#you got a kink we ain't explored yet?? let's do it#drop me an anon if you're shy i get it lmao
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Hey I found ur art uncredited on tik Tok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMreQSnaw/
They said they "found it on Reddit" so they just decided to steal it and post it ig?? Ugh!!
Wow, that's a whole other repost to the one I thought it was going to be, lol. It's been reposted to TikTok once before, and I'm also not surprised this person got it from Reddit, where I doubt I was credited either.
At the end of the day I appreciate the heads up but there's nothing I can really do about it. The most helpful thing anyone can do is to leave comments on the reposts to provide credit,* because if artists ever try and comment then we pretty invariably get attacked. Don't be mean or aggressive, that just builds their animosity towards the artists, but I do think people respond positively to outside pressure to do the right thing š¤·
*Remember to make sure there's enough context - eg. something like "art by @ landegart on Twitter" is more searchable/useful than "artist is Landeg" to someone on TikTok who has no idea who I am haha
#this comic has been reposted A Lot and I appreciate people keeping me in the loop but it's just wearing me down#I can't do much about it and I'd rather just ignore it rather than spend time thinking about it#especially when people get into arguments with them on my behalf and now suddenly I'M the one catching heat#like it's been reposted a couple of times to twitter too and when people tell them to credit me-#-the reposters call *me* a bitch like. I'm not even there any more you're arguing with the wall#anyway. it makes me happy to see people politely but firmly crediting artists in the comments section :) thank you!#also it's kind of interesting that the conversation has become entirely about credit. when I don't want it reposted WITH credit either#I just don't want my art reposted to sites like reddit or tiktok at all. if I wanted it there I'd share it there myself#and the fact that I don't says a lot about what kind of communities those places have fostered#there's a reason like zero artists use reddit to share their own work even though it's a pretty big platform#anyway that part isn't @ you at all anon thank you for your message & keeping me informed#it's more just how the conversation has gradually shifted from 'reposting is bad' to 'reposting without credit is bad'#i understand that it's because we can't stop people from reposting so it's basically the most we can ask for. but still#and make sure you guys aren't following reposters here on Tumblr. even a lot of the ones who say they get permission just lie lol
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Eichi gives away the mask so easily because it was never meant to be an "engagement ring" like you delulu wataeis imagined it to be lmao. It was wataru saying that he will continue playing tsumugi clown role in fine and won't leave it for hokuto's mother troupe after graduation. Do you dumb fucks even read the stories? Eichi didn't even understand tf that mask meant when wataru gave it to him and wataru referenced fucking tsumugi in his "proporsal". I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link. Cope
PS: how do you live with the fact that Eichi clearly admitted to never being in love in his life and Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives?
I love you anon thank you for giving me a nice reason to ramble again beautiful ask 10/10 I'm sorry this is probably not how you hoped this would go but this is such a funny block of text delightful really thank you for the enrichment please marry me
But okay yes now to get down to the actual ask just to disclaim I am solely relying on translations seeing as I do not speak japanese well enough to understant the original text so if anyone has anything to add to this or to correct me on please feel free to do so.
Now to get started I'm not sure if one could say Eichi gave away the mask "So easily" seeing as he claimed that it was "a hard choice to make"? Which, as one might know, implies unease with an idea and pondering and debating and a general amount of thinking behind a decision so? I know this isn't really the main focus of this ask but I'm just a tad miffed with the semantics of it is all. And in either case giving the mask back to Wataru while expecting it back still shows a certain degree of trust in their relationship it wouldn't have been such a big deal for him (as it apparently was) if the mask didn't have a lot of sentimental value to him (the both of them really if we look at the whole exchange).
Now to the claim that the mask was "only" Watarus promise to stay with fine and "continue playing Tsumugis clown role". This is not entirely incorrect. Regarding the acting troupe and staying with fine bit at least.
I'm assuming this bit in EP:Link Deadend/7 is what you are referencing, and I see where you're coming from. But the bluebird line
from literally three dialogue lines further down, which references this line of dialogue (notorious Eichi line everyone should be familiar with)
kind of somewhat really recontextualises that? Because you see this is a reference to a fairytale about a pair of siblings and they get sent out by a nice fairy to find the bluebird of happiness for her sad daughter to make her happy again so they both go on an adventure and travel far and search and search but they can not find the bluebird of happiness and then when they return home again, disappointed because they couldn't find the blue bird, they realise only one night has actually passed and the journey was probably just a dream. But then their eyes fall upon their pet dove in it's cage which appears blue all of a sudden and so they gift it to the fairies sad daughter which becomes happy again and sets the bird free. The real bluebird of happiness is a dove. At least in the version of the story I'm familiar with but I mean everyone sees the symbolism right? It's. very hard to miss.
And then dropping this?
I'm not sure how to say this properly but in the overall context this makes it pretty clear that Tsumugi has nothing to do with this anymore this is Fully between Wataru and Eichi. And I am the last person to dismiss Tsumugis significance in the course of Wataeis relationship as characters I will be among the first to protest when someone dismisses the importance of Tsumugis and Eichis relationship in favour of some image they have of Wataei but he has nothing to do with this one.
Yes Tsumugi gets namedropped but - again - I don't really see how that would lessen the sentiment Wataru is triying to convey here? Because. Yes. Why wouldn't he mention Tsumugi?
The entire conversation pretty much boils down to "Yes I was initially only in this because I thought I could replace Tsumugis role in your life and then I wanted to leave but we have spent so much time together that I realised that that is definitely not working out because I really do love you. I love you as a teammate; I love you as a friend; I love you as a person and I am very angry at myself for not managing to get that into your head. So please allow me to stay with you for as long as you'll have me." And then also Eichi not understanding because he has the emotional self awareness of a very emotionally unaware loaf of bread and also because he hates himself that is a very big thing about his character huge part of his character arc actually that he. you know? Hates himself? And feels guitly for his actions during the war? And doesn't think he deserves love and companionship? Which is why Wataru wanting to stay with him for him and not for some twisted form of revenge is such an alien concept to him? Because he is projecting his insecurities onto Wataru? As one is wont to do when they hate themself? "EiChi Didn'T eVen UnDErStanD WhAt tf ThAT Mask MEAnt" Yeah. That's. That's the point? So he can think about it and come to that conclusion himself which works as a keymoment in his characters journey from hating life and himself to enjoying being alive and wanting to live on because of the people he's surrounded with? He literally explains why he didn't immediately understand the mask during the EP:Link Epilogue/4
And to get back to the "I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" about which I have two things to say:
"Lying" implies further intent and an effort. Neither of which exist in this case.
He literally went down on one knee while making a big proclamation of offering himself to Eichi with a very personal item that works as a symbol for their commitment to each other on a starlit rooftop. The comparison writes itself.
3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke
And then I expected there to be a proper reason given and instead you proceed to follow that up with "when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link". I know the shame is on me for expecting something sensical from an ask which has been near constant in it's lack of correct statements but such is human nature I suppose. And you are not wrong. Deadend/7 isn't very close to the end of EP:Link. That is true.
But do you know what Is very close to the end of EP:Link? The Epilogue Chapters 3-5.
Do you know what the content of those chapters is? I do. Very well actually :)
(Eichi literally explains why he didn't get it)
So if this answers your "Do you dumb fucks even read the stories?" questions, Yes. And I think I'm a lot better at it than you. So I'd say I'm coping quite well over here :p
PS: Regarding your PS, I take the "I've never been in love before so I wouldn't know" comment with a lot of humour actually as an aroace person who's emotional self awareness also ends at "good" and "Not good" I think it's very funny all things considered especially because he mentioned the loving Wataru thing several times before that and I'm generally of the belief that actions speak louder than words and also am in a happy long term relationship with the concept of "Reading Subtext". So please excuse me for not breaking down in tears everytime someone reminds me of that one singuar line of text in one of my favourite all time enstars stories that came out three years ago which also brought us the single best card set in the entire game
as well as absolute banger dialogue such as
Among others <33
And there are soooooo many other examples of wataei dialogue that simply make me swoon but I have already had to take out so many of the one's I wish I could put here so this wouldn't get "Do you love the colour of the sky" long
And also, regarding your "Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives" I'll just say that no he absolutely could not. I mean he'd say that and if pull comes to shove and he has no other option then he might seriously consider it but may I mention that Wataru was gone for a few days at most but really not that long of a time during Sanctuary and Eichi stopped considering being a normal rational person that doesn't leave helpless 17 year olds in the midst of a construction site. Very different situation but I feel like it's worth mentioninh here. Another example is Eichis almost not being able to go through with the war because of Wataru. Wataru had to actively come and tell Eichi to go through with it. Wataru isn't the reason Eichi started the war, that is wrong, but he is the reason Eichi almost didn't finish it. and during the war era that was his Main objective. Again I'm part of the fraction "actions speak louder than words" Show don't tell and all that, but even the words are pushing it.
And that concludes my essay :)
#I so won this#there were so many pictures and quotes I wanted to include but the limit..... :'(#if any of you were wondering I am still as insane about them as I ever was#thank you anon really genuinely and fully this has been a blast#if anyone reads the whole thing....mwah let's run off into the ocean together#or something like that idk but it is appreciated#they are my everything they really are#I'm very enamoured with the ''Cope''#Cope with what? I have nothing to cope with? well nothing wataei related at least#or the ''How do you live with the fact'' yadda yadda#How am I supposed to live with it it's funny i think it's very funny#You really trust what enstars characters say and take it at face value without examining the subtext further? amateur mistake#it's so passionate too anon i admire you#imagine disliking something so intensely you sent a very wordy ask to someone because of a silly post they made#I wish I had that much vigor in me#I mean i'd be too polite to even if I did but still it has somehting admireable to it#thanks to you i got to reread some of my favourite wataei interactions so now I think the last three hours were three hours well spent :)#genuinely thank you for the enrichment#I hope youll have a nice day we might not see eye to eye on this and I'm also objectively better at reading these stories and understanding#the characters but I still hope you'll have a nice day#as good karma or something#I'm currently still on that dopamine high from writing this i think it's obvious#best mood I've been in in ages I love talking about wataei#okay good I'll conclude the tags I've already stretched this post out so far i might as well spare the poor tag reader#but then again if you have read the post this far what's a few more tags to you#I really like the fact that the real bluebird is a dove it's soooooooo#it's good it's really good in the overall context#wataei#eichi tenshouin#hibiki wataru
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the dancing scene in the most recent chapter of liar, liar, MEGUMI BLUSHING FOR THE SECOND TIME AS HIS HANDS COLLIDE WITH HER WAIST, iām crying so much rn. i have NO ONE to speak to about this fic, maybe itās my period but i canāt get enough of them.
i donāt want them to go through angst, i just want it all to be fluff fluff fluff yāalllll. someone needs to make a fanclub or SOMETHING because itās killing me how i have no one to speak to about this ššš
āliar, liarā masterlist here:
ik this message was sent in as early as yesterday, but iāve been out all day and iāve finally got the time to respond to it. apologies if iāve left you waiting ā¹ļøš
i wanna start off by saying youāre literally the sweetest person to ever grace this planet. as i write this slice of life rom-com, i was hoping for the rom part of this com would take over in that scene, and if itās got you squealing and giggling, ik my missionās been accomplished š
āi have NO ONE to speak to about this ficā ā YOU HAVE ME!!! š¤
message me, send me your theories, comment, like, reblog your thoughts, SPAM ME IF YOU MUST, i encourage all of it š© !!! i want to see long and juicy comments. small ones are amazing too, but ofc, the more, the merrier! itās the best part about writing ā and it helps me piece out what you like and donāt like so i can make this ride as enjoyable as ever š
you beautiful anon, this is the fan club. itās a small little family of liars we have rn, but still a family nonetheless. donāt forget that š„¹ it does seem like a wonderful idea to talk about ur theories with each other so i can just spectate and laugh to myself about it all, but if youāre shy, you always have me, the writer, who will always respond to ur silly comments and goofy thoughts š©·š©·š©·
#turned out to be longer than i expected but ig this makes up for the time i couldāve responded to this message#iāve spoken to so many of you (including anons) and i appreciate all of the support!#like you have no idea how giddy the malakai vs megumi debate is for me rn#we have some PASSIONATE malakai haters now (yk who you are and youāre so funny ily)#and some easily-influenced yet confident malakai lovers rn (the anon who started it all)#this will go down in liar liar history as one of the funniest and best debates iāve ever seen come from my story#and itās also the FIRST one in history that YOU GUYS started - exactly the outcome i wanted 4 this crack fic#how did this happen? through sm engagement and communication#i could name so many users ik are either on the taglist or have commented at some point in the story#and i love everyoneee PLS donāt be shy when sending an ask or a message#this anon in particular just made me SO unnecessarily happy today so ty for that#even tho i was trying to be mysterious in public and just ruined that by smiling to myself about you but whatever š we move#love you sm anon <3#megumi x reader#megumi fushiguro x reader#fushiguro megumi x reader#megumi x you#megumi x y/n#liar liar asks!
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Me, the worried anon with the link to daily mail šāāļø
Was not supposed to be an attack, but meant to be a worry over they wrote confirmed. Until now articles has said rumored boyfriend...
Sorry !!
No worries, anon, I know you didn't mean any harm.
See, when I read something that makes no sense, is filled with false information, and displays a complete lack of journalism, it's natural for me to want to punch something.
But we're cool, don't worry. A few minutes of torture just to realize it's the same articles from May in different font isn't going to kill me.
Yet.
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hi first glove anon here. i feel like i started something LMAO iām glad you all share my vision
anyway i have more thoughts. specifically about medfet weskerā¦ wooooo!!
wesker who insists on āexaminationsā in the medical supply room, dons his blue vinyl gloves and pries your lips apart to look at your teeth and depresses your tongue with his fingers to watch your face take on a subtle expression of confusion. he moves onto your throat and makes palpitations there, across your chest (bonus for lingering touches on an ftm reader with top surgery scars!!) and down to your waist, pressing into your hip dips just a little too hard so that you wince and/or have some bruising later from where he was slightly rough about it.
and, if youāre being pliant enough, he might just have to look in some other areas, hmm? examine your thighs and calves for āinjuries,ā just taking the time to casually feel you up. never taking it as far as youād like so that the rest of the team doesnāt get suspicious. URGHHH I COOKED HERE.
anon i can't believe you made me learn this about myself just now lmAOOO (/positive)
ALSO YOU HAD ME AT THE BIT ABOUT CHEST SCARS HALLELUJAH
no but i NEED to see a super detailed close up of his hands in exam gloves in the absolute worst way now. any color, but green in particular i feel would really accentuate the details of his hands very nicely, especially the bumps of his knuckles and maybe even a vein or two
#ask#anon#albert wesker#albert wesker x reader#albert wesker x you#resident evil#can i just say i appreciate endlessly the mention of the chest scars bit#i'm involved in another fandom that neglects trans readers/characters pretty heavily and it always warms my heart when we get to be include#small tangent that is kind of irrelevant to the point but:#a big reason why i do different pick-your-anatomy versions of fics is because i want so badly for everyone to feel like there's -#-something out there for them in the space of the fandom bc i'm in a fandom where i feel like i have nothing unless i make it#which is fine yk i'm not entitled to peoples' work but it just gets discouraging and makes me feel othered#same for why i make pick your preferred terminology and such (good boy/good girl/etc) fics#idk i'm just so thrilled you included that part that it has me feeling schmoopy#schmoopy is a word now#but yeah i've felt more inclusion in this fandom as a trans dude than i have in the other(s) i'm in and i'm so endlessly grateful for that
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not an ask, but I saw ur post and relate a lot to it.
anticipatory grief sucks. people will tell you not to think about it, not to let it steal from today, but some days are just so hard. sometimes it feels unavoidable, like itās some goliath mountain in the distance or even the sky and you canāt not look at it. itās like you have to keep trying to distract yourself not to think about it, and itās exhausting, and youāre so fucking scared of the inevitable.
like how does anyone even function? the idea of the world continuing to spin when thereās this terrible, horrible thing that will happen some day is unfathomable but it does, and itās horrible. Some day will mark the before and the after. nobody can ever be ready for it.
I hope the love you have keeps you strong. wishing you the best.
this is literally it. i know thinking about it Now wont make the actual day it happens any easier. but it's impossible to not think about it, especially since there's no tangible way to preserve memories or feelings or the like forever. i cry easily and get emotional over most anything and everything, which is another layer of difficulty wrt it because I spiral. I want to squeeze out of my body. im not meant for any of it
#skunk mail#Anonymous#ill be in a car with my dad fighting tears thinking about how ill miss it one day and there's no way for my brain to capture the moment and#make a simulation of it. and even then that wouldnt help. ykwim#sometimes i sit in my parents room while my parents and brother are there and i cant stop thinking about when ill see them for the last tim#and how i wish i could full really truly wring every last drop of ''appreciation'' from the moment.#i think about that time isnt linear thing. how everything that has happened or will happen exists on its own#and i think about the cheye experiencing the After tragedy. and i cant handle it. not now or then. i envy the past cheye#even the one of 5 seconds ago. because that was 5 seconds ive lost. 5 seconds closer to events that will#separate my life into Before and After. over and over again#(like you said anon. i think abt that all the time too)#i think this is also why im struggling with the thought of moving out#we all have so little time. dont even get me started on the fear and grief i feel for my own life#not only fearing dying but fearing the lead up where ive lost and cried over much. just me. alone.#ill never see them again. it will never be today again. we'll never be in my parents room like today again. i cant take it.#even if i spend every last second with everybody i still wont be able to take it. i cant believe it#human beings that were all somebody's baby once. tomorrow it will be like they were never here at all. all their memories#go with them. it hurts so bad. i cant take it#i cant even breathe rn ruminating abt it *peace sign emoji*
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