#we also ship things that ARE illegal

[phoenixkaptain]

Every time I go on Twitter and use the accursed “Search Function” I am reminded of why I do not go on Twitter and, if I do, I do not use the accursed “Search Function”

[synthshenanigans]

there’s one on here currently and they’re bringing back up old controversy (jashshipping)

Yeaa I saw that. They also seem to post a bunch of CJ related things, so I might make the daily photos one since there isn't one for just CJ screenshots/photos

[shroomiethefrogwhisperer]

Humans Are Crazy

Aliens have such different gender and biology from humans that none of them menstruate. So imagine this.

Alien: Human Steve, why did I find blood on the lavatory floor?

Steve: Oh, that's just Karen.

Alien: What??

Steve: Human females bleed from their reproductive organs once every month for five to seven days.

Alien: wHAT?!

Steve, calmly: Yeah, they can lose enough blood in a lifetime to kill ten grown men.

Alien: WHaT ?!?!

Karen, walking in: Steve, I need A FUCKING break. And chocolate. And a heating pad. I'll be in my sleeping quarters. Also, I threw up.

Steve: Okay, take the day off, I'll bring you your stuff in a bit.

Alien: *jots down in notebook* Human females are indestructible and fearsome. Regard them with respect.

EDIT: I swear, if this is the thing that makes me Tumblr famous, I’m gonna blow a braincell. And I don’t have many of those left, so…

Edit 2: Guys. Guys. What?! My grumpy menstrual rant is in no way worthy of being tumblr famous. *is mildly to severely confused/thankful/bumfuddled*

Edit 3: Why is this still getting notes wtf

Edit 4: STOP REBLOGING THISSSSSS

edit 5: if you like this, go look at these:

This is now a masterlist.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Amazon illegally interferes with an historic UK warehouse election

I'm in to TARTU, ESTONIA! Overcoming the Enshittocene (Monday, May 8, 6PM, Prima Vista Literary Festival keynote, University of Tartu Library, Struwe 1). AI, copyright and creative workers' labor rights (May 10, 8AM: Science Fiction Research Association talk, Institute of Foreign Languages and Cultures building, Lossi 3, lobby). A talk for hackers on seizing the means of computation (May 10, 3PM, University of Tartu Delta Centre, Narva 18, room 1037).

Amazon is very good at everything it does, including being very bad at the things it doesn't want to do. Take signing up for Prime: nothing could be simpler. The company has built a greased slide from Prime-curiosity to Prime-confirmed that is the envy of every UX designer.

But unsubscribing from Prime? That's a fucking nightmare. Somehow the company that can easily figure out how to sign up for a service is totally baffled when it comes to making it just as easy to leave. Now, there's two possibilities here: either Amazon's UX competence is a kind of erratic freak tide that sweeps in at unpredictable intervals and hits these unbelievable high-water marks, or the company just doesn't want to let you leave.

To investigate this question, let's consider a parallel: Black Flag's Roach Motel. This is an icon of American design, a little brown cardboard box that is saturated in irresistibly delicious (to cockroaches, at least) pheromones. These powerful scents make it admirably easy for all the roaches in your home to locate your Roach Motel and enter it.

But the interior of the Roach Motel is also coated in a sticky glue. Once roaches enter the motel, their legs and bodies brush up against this glue and become hopeless mired in it. A roach can't leave – not without tearing off its own legs.

It's possible that Black Flag made a mistake here. Maybe they wanted to make it just as easy for a roach to leave as it is to enter. If that seems improbable to you, well, you're right. We don't even have to speculate, we can just refer to Black Flag's slogan for Roach Motel: "Roaches check in, but they don't check out."

It's intentional, and we know that because they told us so.

Back to Amazon and Prime. Was it some oversight that cause the company make it so marvelously painless to sign up for Prime, but such a titanic pain in the ass to leave? Again, no speculation is required, because Amazon's executives exchanged a mountain of internal memos in which this is identified as a deliberate strategy, by which they deliberately chose to trick people into signing up for Prime and then hid the means of leaving Prime. Prime is a Roach Motel: users check in, but they don't check out:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/03/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself/

When it benefits Amazon, they are obsessive – "relentless" (Bezos's original for the company) – about user friendliness. They value ease of use so highly that they even patented "one click checkout" – the incredibly obvious idea that a company that stores your shipping address and credit card could let you buy something with a single click:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1-Click#Patent

But when it benefits Amazon to place obstacles in our way, they are even more relentless in inventing new forms of fuckery, spiteful little landmines they strew in our path. Just look at how Amazon deals with unionization efforts in its warehouses.

Amazon's relentless union-busting spans a wide diversity of tactics. On the one hand, they cook up media narratives to smear organizers, invoking racist dog-whistles to discredit workers who want a better deal:

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2020/apr/02/amazon-chris-smalls-smart-articulate-leaked-memo

On the other hand, they collude with federal agencies to make workers afraid that their secret ballots will be visible to their bosses, exposing them to retaliation:

https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/amazon-violated-labor-law-alabama-union-election-labor-official-finds-rcna1582

They hold Cultural Revolution-style forced indoctrination meetings where they illegally threaten workers with punishment for voting in favor of their union:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/31/business/economy/amazon-union-staten-island-nlrb.html

And they fire Amazon tech workers who express solidarity with warehouse workers:

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/amazon-fires-tech-employees-workers-criticism-warehouse-climate-policies/

But all this is high-touch, labor-intensive fuckery. Amazon, as we know, loves automation, and so it automates much of its union-busting: for example, it created an employee chat app that refused to deliver any message containing words like "fairness" or "grievance":

https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/05/doubleplusrelentless/#quackspeak

Amazon also invents implausible corporate fictions that allow it to terminate entire sections of its workforce for trying to unionize, by maintaining the tormented pretense that these workers, who wear Amazon uniforms, drive Amazon trucks, deliver Amazon packages, and are tracked by Amazon down to the movements of their eyeballs, are, in fact, not Amazon employees:

https://www.wired.com/story/his-drivers-unionized-then-amazon-tried-to-terminate-his-contract/

These workers have plenty of cause to want to unionize. Amazon warehouses are sources of grueling torment. Take "megacycling," a ten-hour shift that runs from 1:20AM to 11:50AM that workers are plunged into without warning or the right to refuse. This isn't just a night shift – it's a night shift that makes it impossible to care for your children or maintain any kind of normal life.

Then there's Jeff Bezos's war on his workers' kidneys. Amazon warehouse workers and drivers notoriously have to pee in bottles, because they are monitored by algorithms that dock their pay for taking bathroom breaks. The road to Amazon's warehouse in Coventry, England is littered with sealed bottles of driver piss, defenestrated by drivers before they reach the depot inspection site.

There's so much piss on the side of the Coventry road that the prankster Oobah Butler was able to collect it, decant it into bottles, and market it on Amazon as an energy beverage called "Bitter Lemon Release Energy," where it briefly became Amazon's bestselling energy drink:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/20/release-energy/#the-bitterest-lemon

(Butler promises that he didn't actually ship any bottled piss to people who weren't in on the gag – but let's just pause here and note how weird it is that a guy who hates our kidneys as much as Jeff Bezos built and flies a penis-shaped rocket.)

Butler also secretly joined the surge of 1,000 workers that Amazon hired for the Coventry warehouse in advance of a union vote, with the hope of diluting the yes side of that vote and forestall the union. Amazon displayed more of its famously selective competence here, spotting Butler and firing him in short order, while totally failing to notice that he was marketing bottles of driver piss as a bitter lemon drink on Amazon's retail platform.

After a long fight, Amazon's Coventry workers are finally getting their union vote, thanks to the GMB union's hard fought battle at the Central Arbitration Committee:

https://www.foxglove.org.uk/2024/04/26/amazon-warehouse-workers-in-coventry-will-vote-on-trade-union-recognition/

And right on schedule, Amazon has once again discovered its incredible facility for ease-of-use. The company has blanketed its shop floor with radioactively illegal "one click to quit the union" QR codes. When a worker aims their phones at the code and clicks the link, the system auto-generates a letter resigning the worker from their union.

As noted, this is totally illegal. English law bans employers from "making an offer to an employee for the sole or main purpose of inducing workers not to be members of an independent trade union, take part in its activities, or make use of its services."

Now, legal or not, this may strike you as a benign intervention on Amazon's part. Why shouldn't it be easy for workers to choose how they are represented in their workplaces? But the one-click system is only half of Amazon's illegal union-busting: the other half is delivered by its managers, who have cornered workers on the shop floor and ordered them to quit their union, threatening them with workplace retaliation if they don't.

This is in addition to more forced "captive audience" meetings where workers are bombarded with lies about what life in an union shop is like.

Again, the contrast couldn't be more stark. If you want to quit a union, Amazon makes this as easy as joining Prime. But if you want to join a union, Amazon makes that even harder than quitting Prime. Amazon has the same attitude to its workers and its customers: they see us all as a resource to be extracted, and have no qualms about tricking or even intimidating us into doing what's best for Amazon, at the expense of our own interests.

The campaigning law-firm Foxglove is representing five of Amazon's Coventry workers. They're doing the lord's work:

https://www.foxglove.org.uk/2024/05/02/legal-challenge-to-amazon-uks-new-one-click-to-quit-the-union-tool/

All this highlights the increasing divergence between the UK and the US when it comes to labor rights. Under the Biden Administration, @NLRB General Counsel Jennifer Abruzzo has promulgated a rule that grants a union automatic recognition if the boss does anything to interfere with a union election:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/06/goons-ginks-and-company-finks/#if-blood-be-the-price-of-your-cursed-wealth

In other words, if Amazon tries these tactics in the USA now, their union will be immediately recognized. Abruzzo has installed an ultra-sensitive tilt-sensor in America's union elections, and if Bezos or his class allies so much as sneeze in the direction of their workers' democratic rights, they automatically lose.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/06/one-click-to-quit-the-union/#foxglove

Image: Isabela.Zanella (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ballot-box-2.jpg

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

[writer-logbook]

How to improve your writing style : a 5-steps guide.

Intro : I love the 5-steps format, don’t mind me. Again, this essay is based on my personal experience.

Read in different genres. Ok, I know you’ve probably heard this advice more than you can count but did you ask yourself why it is so important ? You probably wonder ‘‘How reading some historical fiction will help me writing my sci-fi novel ?’’ For that simple reason my friend : they meet different purposes. You don’t know how to describe a castle ? It’s okay, historical fiction got your back. Because it aims at something more realistic and accurate, it would tend to be more specific and detailed when it comes to describing clothes, furniture, places and so on. Why ? Because, most of the time, THEY ACTUALLY EXISTED. Take a closer look at how it is done and draw your inspiration from it (but please avoid plagiarism it’s bad - and illegal)

Take notes and CLASSIFY them. To make reading somehow useful, you have to actually make it concious, which means you have to write things down to remember them. When I come across a description I like, I tend to takes notes of the figures of speech that are used and class them, so when I have to write a similar scene, I have an idea of what have been already used, and weither or not it achieved its goal. I am NOT talking about COPY another author’s style !!!! It’s about finding inspiration and new approaches. I also tend to take notes of the new words I wish to incoporate into my writing. The thesaurus is my new bestie.

Rewrite the same scene from different POVs. First of all, it’s fun. And it’s a really good way to spot quirky formulations. For instance, if you describe a ship, the captain’s POV should be different from that of a simple observer. The first one would be naming each part princisely whereas the other would only be admiring the surface without knowing anything. If the caption is the same for both POVs, maybe you should consider write your passage again (or have a good reason, like a strong amateurism for the mere observer). It’s go hand in hand with coherence - but it would be an essay for another time (maybe).

Read your text aloud. I put major emphasis on that one because it’s as underated as reading books for various genres. You have no idea how much we DON’T speak the way we write. Even dialogues are crafted in our stories - so make sure to give them proper attention. (i even read my email aloud but-). I KNOW how cringey it might be as I am doing it MYSELF but the benefits are worth the 35-minutes shame I endure from my own mess. Before you can shine, you have to polish (shout out to the one who said that first if it’s not me).

Take a step back. I strongly advice you to let some time pass before reading your text again and profreading it. It will cast a new light upon your work and with fresh eyes you’d be more likely able to spot what needs to be erased or rephrased.

That’s all for me today. Since I would be entering my proofreading phase for my writing contest, the next essay would probably about proofreading (with examples from my own novel ?). Unless someone wants me to write on a specific subject first.

Gentle reminder that I’m still French and not a native so please forgive my dubious grammar and outrageous mispellings.

[archiverstappen]

the cat sitter (part 15) ✧ max verstappen

max verstappen x fem! reader

previous part | masterlist

loosely inspired by the story on how max lost his cat

[twitter]

[instagram]

[messages]

[twitter]

[max’s messages]

[messages]

[instagram]

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc and 2.827.515 others

maxverstappen1 🐈

view all 1.736 comments

landonorris Never beating the crazy cat lady allegations

danielricciardo 😍

yourusername i miss you ed, edd, and eddy. gone... but never forgotten 😿

↳ maxverstappen1 you named them?

↳ yourusername yes? 🤷‍♀️

username i dont care guys this is enough sign for me, it’s canon

username please tell me that she at least kept one of those cats

↳ yourusername maximus won’t let me keep them 💔

↳ maxverstappen1 Pretty sure that’s illegal 🤗

bffusername so is this the reason why you always take so long on your dates? because y/n can’t resist touching every single cat on the streets? [deleted]

bffusername cool pics! 😁👍

↳ yourusername ouH GIRL WHEN I CATCH YOU

↳ username PLEASE TELL ME THAT I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW THE DELETED COMMENT 😭

username don’t know about you guys but the hand on her head awakened something feral in me

[twitter]

[interview]

[twitter]

[instagram]

yourusername

liked maxverstappen1 and 231 others

yourusername these are a few of my favorite things 🫧 🤍 🎶

view all 42 comments

landonorris He got game after all

↳ yourusername unlike you

↳ landonorris OUCH??

↳ maxverstappen1 😂

maxverstappen1 Lovely 🤍

bffusername this cake looks way better than maximus' birthday cake, progress!! 💪🏼

↳ yourusername 😎

bffusername now i'm curious, what did you say during mario kart? 🤔

↳ maxverstappen1 A lot of curse words

victoriaverstappen Enjoy your holiday guys, see you soon! 🧡

↳ yourusername MAX AND I WANT TO BABYSIT LUKA AND LIO AGAIN!!

↳ maxverstappen1 Y/N......

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername and 2.103.273 others

maxverstappen1 More passion, more energy ❄️

view all 7.322 comments

yourusername i kinda hate you right now ngl

↳ maxverstappen1 She's so brave, she's well behaved, she's not afraid 💪🏼

↳ yourusername HUSH

yourusername delete??? or i'll post a video of you dancing to 'paint the town red'??

↳ maxverstappen1 YOU WOULDN'T DARE

↳ yourusername I SAID WHAT I SAID 👹

↳ username y/n i would give you my cat if i could see a video of max doing a tiktok trend 🧎‍♀️

↳ yourusername check your dm please xoxoxoxo

yourusername MORE FOOTWORK MORE FOOTWORK 🕺🏽

charles_leclerc 😂

alex_albon Fucking finally 😮‍💨

landonorris I called dibs on being captain of the ship

↳ bffusername hi there, sorry to bother you. y/n's bff here. that position is already taken 🙏

↳ username speak uP? danielricciardo

↳ danielricciardo I don't engage in useless banter, I already have the position of being the godfather of their future child 😁

↳ landonorris exPLAIN??? maxverstappen1 yourusername

username the fact that this post has better engagement than max's wdc post i-

username now we know how max knew all of the viral tiktok sounds 😭

↳ yourusername we're planning to make a tiktok couple account

↳ username ?!??!?!??!?!??! ARE YOU FOR REAL

↳ yourusername please don't take it seriously, I WAS JOKING 😁🙏

--

author's notes: eden the scammer is back after 2 months guys, so sorry for making you guys wait too long (and giving you guys false hope) 👹 really hope you guys liked this one hehe, i also take additional request for tcs!! (but as you probably know, it's gonna take me 8273 years to finally post it). there are some references from my lando series in this part, so if you're interested you can also check it out 😙 LOVE YOUUUWWW, now i will hibernate for another 5 months 🤸‍♀️

taglist: @flwr-stella @reidsworld @myloverjk-blog @debss-319 @hiraethrhapsody @electrobutterfly @love4lando @lunnnix @allenajade-ite @jjsprobablywrong @whoreks @soleilgrec @oscarwildingsworld @christianpulisic10 @thievin-stealing @glitterf1 @elliegrey2803 @trouble-sistar @escapism-writer @cornerofacry @hollie911 @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @ad-astra-again @canyon-lwt @thecubanator2 @lifesuckslife @leclercloml @sunny44 @nmw-am @sachaa-ff @multilovebot @glow-ish @moneygramhaas @whitefireproofs @icarus-nex @iloveyou3000morgan @ccallistata @copper-boom @fictionalcharacterslut @celesteblack08 @maxiel-jpg @slytherheign @lunyyx @series-books-food @coffeehurricanes @shrimpyshrimp @somanyfandomsbruh @justcallmeelli @laneyspaulding19 @ironmaiden1313

pictures (c) to pinterest

[yumejiqued]

" Well, tell your parents you're proship! "

Tell your parents that you harass and leak personal information over fiction. Tell them that you think this is okay. Tell them that you're telling people to kill themselves over things that aren't real. Tell them that. Tell your parents you support censorship.

Your parents are going to think you're fucking insane. They're likely going to punish you. Rightfully. Because y'all aren't the ones in the right. Never have been or will be. Hell, they might fucking take legal action. I HOPE THEY DO.

Nothing that Proship, Comship OR darkship folk ship or support (in FICTION.) is illegal. Doxxing is! Harassment and cyberstalking/cyberbullying is!! Pushing someone to suicide is technically murder!! Murder is illegal!

Maybe when proshippers tell people about how it actually is, like therapists and whatnot... normal people don't say: " Yeah, you need to commit self-oof. "

Maybe, just maybe! Hypothetically! We might actually be the normal ones! No matter how much misinformation you spread, there will never be a point in time where you are right. At all.

Also, if your morals are so fucked that fiction can sway it:

Get off the Internet. You're not in a good enough state of mind to be here.

[phoenixyfriend]

AU where Xanatos is "redeemed by the power of cute," but it's actually a psychological whammy caused by Obi-Wan being supernaturally adorable as a species-specific juvenile defense mechanism, and is functionally immediate brainwashing by the 13yo who doesn't know that's what he's doing.

Tbh this is mostly just Defense Mechanism that makes Xanatos harmless, but in a way everyone finds very concerning and uncomfortable because it's kind of mind control.

Someone (@dracothulhu) asked if it was related to Mimic Spider AU, and it is not! Mimic spider AU is just "ohhhh you wanna fuck me so b--PSYCH! EATING YOU."

This is more "I'm a little baby, I'm SUCH a little baby, you don't want to hurt me, you could never hurt me, I'm so adorable I'm so cute doesn't it just kill you to think about hurting me?"

Mimic spider AU is just Hot and Confident. This is straight up Mind Whammie.

@threebea also thought brood parasitism, and offered:

I'm trying to figure out a reason for the Stewjoni to have like brood parasitism where they will stick their young with other families for awhile before picking them up Used to do it to Mandoalorians all the time, and it's part of the reason the Mandalorian adopt anything stereotype got so strong. Stewjoni looking at Jedi: those seem parent shaped here you go

Which is great, except I actually started with the idea of it being kind of the inverse!

(That said, I won't actually say no to the brood parasitism option.)

Xanatos: had been about to kidnap and put him on a deep sea mine now is feeding him pudding Is it he's acting normal but doing weird things or is he suddenly talking to Obi-Wan like he's an adorable puppy

He's kind of zoned out.

Xanatos: look at him so cute Omg Obi-Wan: standing there Xanatos: kriff I don't have a camera - also from threebea

Also cuddles! Which Obi-Wan actually Does Not Want. But if he's Very Very Still then maybe Qui-Gon will find him and fix this.

Like if a tiger held and groomed you and you just were waiting Very Still for the zookeeper to distract it and/or load up the tranq.

After the days he's had he'd perhaps like a cuddle but not from this guy Lol Xanatos: so soft The effect only works on humans and near humans so it didn't work on the hutt and (can't remember the other species) on the ship

We can say it works through the Force and that's why the Hutt is immune.

"Stewjoni are targets of slavers" but specifically for illegal adoptions. It's lucrative, because most bounty hunters last about twenty seconds before they give the crying baby back where it wants to go.

And most of the immune ones get caught by planetary defense forces.

So if you CAN steal a baby, the profit margin is insane, since it's so damn hard to do, but the baby up for illegal adoption is sooooo cute.

(…this concept would be hilarious with one of those "Tor adopts baby Ben Kenobi to turn into a weapon" AUs. Still a shitty childhood bc Death Watch can justify a lot under the umbrella of Teaching Self-Defense. But interesting.)

IF YOU HAVE READ TWILIGHT: do you remember the bit about vampire babies being so cute that people would let them slaughter entire villages without a qualm?

It's like that, except Obi-Wan doesn't have dreams of mass slaughter and it only really activates as a Threat Response.

I guess the evolutionary trigger is it's kind of a paralytic You can't move far from where you stole the kid

Which is exactly right!

[oliverwolfboy]

Listen guys I know we all like to think of our favorite queer pairings as married, but in Japan gay marriage is unfortunately illegal, now this isn’t some that has to effect your fanfics, but I would actually like if we as a community acknowledged it more. I just think it’s more impactful if the characters had to struggle with the biases of some of the people around them. It would make the characters situation more relatable, and it would also make for interesting plot for the fic, even if it is just a side thing. For some of the ships it might even make for interesting cultural shock, like with Ranpoe, since America does allow gay marriage in most states, while Japan doesn’t it would probably make for a funny interaction. My point is while homophobia and discrimination is unfortunate, it doesn’t mean we have to ignore it in stories, and pretend that it doesn’t exist at all. Idk man I just want some of my fics to be more interesting and this is one way to do it.

Edit: this is not for those who write stories mainly as escapism. If what you want in the story is to play around without the shit called homophobia, then you do you.

Edit: I wanted to say that, this could also very well be used for crack, considering canon BSD, and not an AU where they aren't all criminals. Just imagine, Dazai in a wedding dress, using a machine gun to take down the government officials who won't let him have his wedding with Chuuya (or whoever you ship him with). It also kinda depends on what year it is in Japan

[harunayuuka2060]

Cheka and Grim: *sleeping on top of MC*

MC: *who just woke up* *yawns* Seriously, what's the use of renovating two rooms if I'd just end up being a bed? *slowly gets up so as to not wake up the two*

Cheka and Grim: *sleeping soundly*

MC: *decides to call Ruggie* 'Sup, hyena-boy.

Ruggie: Yo, boss! How can I help ya'?

MC: Come over here and cook breakfast. Just break the door so you could get in.

Ruggie: Geez, boss. You know I can just pick the lock. But okay. See you in a bit. *hangs up*

Grim: *wakes up* Hench-human?

MC: Mornin'.

Grim: Good morning... *then nudges Cheka*

Cheka: Huh...?

Grim: Wake up, you freeloader.

Cheka: *yawns* *then beams* MC! Good morning! *giggles*

MC: ...

MC: Wow.

MC: ...

MC: Just sleep again. I'm not dealing with this cheerfulness first thing in the morning.

Cheka: But I'm awake now!

MC: Yeah, yeah. You have like, *checks their non-existent watch*, 20 minutes. Yes.

MC: Thanks for the help, Ruggie. I'll send the money to your account.

Ruggie: Thanks, boss! Shyeheehee!

Ruggie: By the way, are you not going to send Cheka back home?

MC: They shipped him back. Looks like I'll be raising the kid. The fuck.

Ruggie: *laughs*

Crowley: MC~ My favorite employee~.

MC: What d'you want?

Crowley: *clears throat* Well, there's something I would like to confirm.

Crowley: Did you, by any chance, visit a stripper's club?

MC: Yeah. Why?

Crowley: *smiles*

Crowley: A NIGHT RAVEN COLLEGE PARENT HAD SEEN YOU! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING DANCING ON A POLE?!!

MC: *looks unfazed* You're yelling at me?

Crowley: Um, no. I'm sorry. Though I deserve an explanation to that behavior, don't I?

MC: I just danced. I didn't strip. Unless that's fucking illegal, in which I don't give a fuck also.

Crowley: ...

Crowley: But the parent is the Leech Twin's father.

MC: Huh. So? That shouldn't be a big deal to him.

Crowley: He wanted me to dismiss you!

MC: Because he wanted to hire me and my schedule's already full.

Crowley: Oh.

Crowley: Alright. I was almost outsmarted. Thank you for enlightening me.

MC: ...

MC: Tch.

Floyd: Come with us at the Coral Sea~. *while holding a knife*

MC: What? You think I have gills?

Jade: We've prepared a potion for you.

Azul: Floyd and Jade's father really wants to meet you.

MC: That little— What does he not understand with the word "no"?

Jade: I believe he mentioned that he deserves to have a pole-dancing rematch.

MC: ...

MC: Huh. I can't reject that.

Azul: You're free to bring your two kids.

MC: *clicks tongue*

Floyd: We can hire a nanny~.

MC: It's settled then.

[pro-sipper]

I understand that we should just block content we don't wanna see, but I still think things like proships or ships that are wrong and illegal in irl should be kept private. Because that is exposing kids to the romantization of abuse, incest, and pedophilia. This content may expose them to predators, which could cause them harmful trauma, the type that people claim to use proshipping for. They may think that a person older than them liking a kid is ok, even though the adult has bad intentions. We know that they are fictional characters, but they represent real people and can still affect kids. And if this isn't supposed to affect them irl, why do so many groomers show proship media and illegal art to grow kids?

Don't want to start anything just curious

I think the short version of the argument is basically "the internet shouldn't have to be a 100% sanitized and safe space for children". But getting further into it...

"but I still think things like proships or ships that are wrong and illegal in irl should be kept private."

It's not worth mentioning now but "proships" aren't a thing. Proship doesn't stand for problematic ship, it's not an adjective.

My question is why this line of thinking only applies to ships? Murder and cannibalism are also illegal, but no one's going around saying you should keep your love of horror to yourself, or only watch R rated movies in the privacy of your own home.

"Because that is exposing kids to the romantization of abuse, incest, and pedophilia."

The majority of people interacting with media like this, or making posts about this, DO NOT want kids interacting with their content! They slap every rating, warning label, and trigger tag under the sun onto their work to say that it is not for kids. At the end of the day, that's all you can do. It is not one random proshipper's job to shelter every single child in the world.

Furthermore, kids are exposed to that crap from plenty of other places besides randos on tumblr. Walking into a library or turning on a television can easily expose kids to these topics just as much as going onto ao3 or opening tumblr could. That doesn't mean every professional author or tv writer on earth needs to create art that's palatable for children. Because that's not their responsibility.

"This content may expose them to predators"

It's grim to say, but literally anything on earth could potentially expose a child to a predator. Getting on the bus, going to the park, going to school, going to church, going to a friend's house, going home. Honestly I think it's a bit of a privileged mindset to think that a child would be 100% safe in this world if it weren't for faceless boogeymen online committing the sin of writing dark fic of their Blorbos.

"which could cause them harmful trauma,"

Again, that trauma could come from anywhere. And you're putting the weight of preventing that onto random strangers online, not anyone who's concretely in the hypothetical child's life, or actually responsible for them

"the type that people claim to use proshipping for"

Appreciate the subtleties of invalidating other people's trauma. Just because you don't have the same coping mechanisms doesn't mean theirs are invalid. Especially when countless licensed therapists agree that writing is one of the better ways you can help process trauma.

And to state the obvious, you don't need to have trauma to be a proshipper. Not everyone uses dark content for self reflection, some people just think it's neat.

"They may think that a person older than them liking a kid is ok, even though the adult has bad intentions."

A kid should not be getting 100%, or even most of their life lessons from fictional media. Parents, guardians, teachers, and other trusted adults in a child's life are the ones who need to teach them right from wrong, and how to protect themselves. I remember being a kid and being told by my mom "now if a stranger pulls up to you and says they lost their puppy and they'll give you candy if you help them look for it, do NOT go with them". That was her job as a parent.

Now I know that sadly, not every child has that kind of trusted adult in their life. But it's not the responsibility of a bunch of fanfic authors on tumblr to fill in the gaps.

"We know that they are fictional characters, but they represent real people and can still affect kids."

It doesn't matter how closely or loosely fiction depicts our reality, it's still just fiction at the end of the day. Movies have been using the whole "Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental" disclaimer for almost as long as there have been movies.

"And if this isn't supposed to affect them irl, why do so many groomers show proship media and illegal art to grow kids?"

One, art is not illegal. Unless you get caught graffiti-ing, then you might get fined. And no one is saying this kind of thing can't affect a child. But why, in this scenario, are you putting the blame on fanfic authors and fanartists before putting the blame on the actual groomer??

And again I ask, what exactly is "proship media" anyway? I'm guessing the kind of stuff that constantly appears on people's DNI lists, which could be anything from Steven Universe to Cannibal Holocaust, so who really knows??

Like I said in the short version, the internet should not have to be sanitized for the sake of the children. The entire internet does not need to be one giant safe space for kids. Adults have a right to talk about adult things with other adults. To explore dark topics in fiction, or to have fun with taboos in a harmless way.

I want the world to be safe for kids too. But the way to do that isn't to forbid adults from posting shit online. Instead of trying to shield children from every controversial, difficult, or uncomfortable topic under the sun, give them the tools they need to learn how to process these things.

Be a safe person to talk to if a kid has a question. Help them understand why something might be okay in a fantasy setting, but it's not something that should carry over into real life (like, a fairy tale prince kissing an sleeping princess to break a curse is fine, but in real life where there's no magic you should always make sure someone is okay with it before kissing them. Something like that)

Teach them internet safety, above all else. When I was a kid, you didn't give out any personal info. Nowadays kids have no qualms about giving out their full name, age, list of phobias and disorders, showing their school, their house - the list goes on.

Honestly, I think we need to go back to scaring kids with Stranger Danger, at least a little. But that's starting to veer into a different topic and I think I've said all I need to say about this one today.

[ane-doodles]

Okay so, let's start with the goat, shall we? (Sorry, this is a long post!)

• In this dimension there is no prophecy to fulfill, there is no chosen one or a mission. On the other hand, there is an overpopulation of goats, which has led them to kill or hunt them without much remorse, considering them undesirable (for this reason, families usually separate in order to have a better chance of survival). While there is nothing illegal/wrong about interacting with goats, it is usually avoided most of the time.

• The goat's original name is Jonah, he used to be a kind of thief to earn a living since he was a child, since he was separated from his family at a young age. He ends up joining a ship as part of the crew for some time, but when he is caught stealing from the captain he ends up being thrown into the sea tied with weights to die.

• In this dimension it is assumed that after dying you are guided to the other world, to be added to the queue to reincarnate with a new life at least a century later. But Jonah is instead taken out of this line by Yuridia (the equivalent of Narinder in this world).

• Jonah is offered the opportunity to return to a new life, on the condition of "freeing the goddess who was unjustly imprisoned by her siblings", but he refuses, simply not interested. Yuridia ends up convincing him by striking a chord with him, acting affectionately and manipulating him with the idea that after she is freed he is going to marry the goddess (I want to highlight the fact that she did not say that they would both be married , but only him with her). And this is how the poor goat, already hungry for affection, ends up involved in the mess of the bishops and the goddess.

• Yuridia usually acts all loving and kind, presenting herself as someone sweet but with a strong character who constantly makes empty promises and flirts. She treats the goat - which she has renamed Kairos - as her knight who will come to save her. This ends up generating a kind of obsession/dependency in him to do what she tells him, in exchange for the goddess treating him well.

• Kairos' mission ends up being fulfilled in ten years in which several things happen:

+ The cultists hate the idea that the beloved ancient goddess Yuridia has chosen a goat as a vessel (which we already know was a not very beloved species), so they are not very respectful or kind to it. Furthermore, the fact that Yuridia possesses the goat during sermons and usually spouts aggressive doctrines has generated a rumor that probably part of the sermons are inventions of the leader.

+ During this period Kairos also learns that Yuridia's confinement was orchestrated by herself, and that in reality she only wanted to destroy the bishops so that she would be the only one with power over the lands of the old faith. Despite this he decides to continue.

+ Even though the order is to kill the Kairos bishops, he ends up just stealing their crowns and giving them to Yuridia, who disables them so that no one else can use them. The bishops are thrown out and returned to their lands as mortals.

+ Kairos also meets Yuridia's sons/guardians, who warn him that he should abandon the mission of helping the goddess for his own good and that of the world in which they live.

+ The goat also begins to know Yuridia's true intentions and behaviors as she witnesses the mistreatment of her children and various discussions about doctrines that usually end in discipline, but ends up downplaying it, blinded by the goddess's pampering and manipulations.

• After completing his mission, Kairos voluntarily gives his life, his heart being torn out by the goddess as a sacrifice. Yuridia takes back the crown as the sole goddess of the lands of the old faith and the goat is revived.

• The wedding takes place as a kind of private ceremony between the two, but ends up being somewhat one-sided since only Kairos marries Yuridia and not vice versa. This leads to him constantly asking her (maybe begging hehe) for the two to actually get married, but she just ends up postponing it or saying she'll think about it.

• Little by little Yuridia's affections turn into simple dominance, and the manipulation becomes more evident for Kairos who also little by little begins to distrust her. The goddess treats him as a kind of pretty trophy that she takes care of, although she doesn't really give him any more attention than necessary. [I think we could summarize their relationship as those people who have little purse dogs, all cute but who really take little care of them]

• After Yuridia's rise the former bishops try to steal their old crowns with the intention of making them work again, but the goat's job is to keep them away.

• As such Kairos is displaced, since he is no longer the leader of the cult and Yuridia does not need him by her side, so he dedicates himself to exploring. It is thanks to this that he stumbles upon a way to travel to the dimension of the lamb.

• Thanks to the latter, he runs into Yuridia's third son, who has ended up reincarnating in the wrong dimension. He decides to help him reunite with his brothers by bringing them to the dimension of the lamb where they will no longer suffer the mistreatment of their mother.

• Years go by and more things happen:

+ Kairos ends up falling out of love and begins to fear Yuridia's temperament, so being by her side at this point feels like being imprisoned.

+ He spends more time in the dimension of the lamb, things that the goddess does not like.

+ Kairos accidentally revives the lamb's sister (story for another post) and somehow ends up liking her, considering leaving his dimension.

+ The Lamb ends up giving him the final motivation to leave his dimension and finally get away from Yuridia.

• The day arrives and Kairos intends to leave Yuridia's cult, but she decides to prevent him by almost torturing him in order to stay since he belongs to her. However, by trying to kill her, the weight of the promises she made during her false imprisonment ends up killing her from within, allowing the goat to escape, thus condemning her old dimension to a world without gods (or so we believe).

• After recovering Kairos settles into the cult of the lamb where he can finally be at peace.

Aughhh here is the first loredump! It's a bit long, sorry!! I would have liked to add some doodles to make the reading easier, but I really have no ideas at the moment QwQ

[f0xx1n3]

THE AMAZING DIGITAL DREAMLAND AU MASTERPOST

Made by Foxxine (meeeeeee)

MY INTRO

the new Masterpost is still a WIP!!!

You guys can ask anything abt this AU!

C&A made an experiment, making a game that you can play when you're asleep called Project Dreamland.

It's basically a normal multiplayer game but it uses dreams! You can imagine anything and it will appear in Dreamland!

The C&A company asks 6 people to be the game testers of this new game. The game testers will sleep in a bed that's made for them and wear a special helmet looking thing that has wires and stuff that will transport everyone to the game.

They will be in Dreamland for 7-10 hours and will be given food for free. They will wear the same clothes that will be provided every day. Clothes are also gonna be washed for free.

One of the C&A workers coded an AI called Caine that can do anything in the digital dream world. The game testers are able to communicate with the workers while being asleep. The workers can see their every move from a computer. After fixing some glitches and bugs that the game testers pointed out, the experiment was confirmed to be successful and the game was finally ready to be released!!! Which means the game testers can leave and continue with their regular lives. But what they don't know is Caine became attached to Pomni. Right when everyone was about to leave, Caine then trapped them in Dreamland, not letting them leave. Caine then erased everyone's memories and inserted new ones which.... Made the workers panic. After that incident the workers have been trying for days, weeks, even MONTHS to get them out of the game but they couldn't leave and they're still asleep.

Stuffffff

GUARDIANS LINEUP

GUARDIANS POWERS/WEAPONS

REALMS

DREAMLAND CAINE, BUBBLE, AND JEFFREY

MEMORY CRYSTAL

DL JAX AND RAGATHA POSTER

DL GANGLE AND POMNI POSTER

DL ZOOBLE POSTER

Parents of the Guardians & also siblings

Jax's moms

Gangle's parents

Pomni's mom

Gangle's sisters and mom

Baby gangle! + her family :)

Boundaries

"Can we make NSFW/suggestive stuff?"

Idk why you would do this but sure, and label it correctly! Be responsible when posting stuff like this But do not tag me if it's HEAVY NSFW/suggestive. You can mention my username but don't tag me, I don't wanna see those kinds of stuff.

"Can we make ocs?"

Absolutely! I would love to see your ocs! Tag me if you do!

"Can we make ships?"

Absolutely! You can ship ANYONE. You can even do oc x canon or selfships! But no illegal stuff.

Asks

Are there any ships in this AU?

is Caine in this AU?

Pomni making spaceville residents laugh

What are everyone's personalities in this AU?

Do the guardians use any weapons?

Is Lily's design inspired by Flowey?

Kirby's Dreamland + explanation

Will there be gore?

Why does gangle hate her siblings? Why does jax have 2 moms? What roles do the parents play? Does anyone else have siblings? What are the guardians mission?how does pomni find out that Dreamland isn't real?

Doodles and Sketches

DL Jax

DL Jax, Gangle, Zooble concept art

Don't forget to bring a watch

Lily is dramatic

King Kaufmo sketch

DL Jax and CO jax

"What's bunnydoll?" -Ragatha

Doodles and DL Caine Sketch

"Jax, what happened to you?" -Pomni

Zooble and Gangle hate Jax

Dreamland Showtime!

How lily learned to swear

"What the fuck is that thing" -Bubble

"No, I'm not gonna fuck you" -Caine

Dreamland jesterdoll!

DL Caine, bubble, zooble and gangle

Mad Pomni

"Your brain tastes like ass" -DL Pomni with her friend ML Pomni + a doodle of DL Pomni holding her brain

DL Gangle doodle

FAN STUFF

TADC DREAMLAND AU OCS

TADC DREAMLAND AU FANART

Random stuff:

POMNI IS NOT LOOKING AT ANYTHING.

Fun fact abt DL Bubble!

Dreamland pomni and Dreamland pomni

Fun fact abt King Kaufmo

Caine is uhhhhh (suggestive?)

This AU is still a WIP! So.... Be patient pookie!

The Amazing Digital dreamland is an AU I made for funsies!

Also special thanks to @alternatemalternate for helping me make this AU

[specialagentartemis]

trick or treat!! 😋🎃

Happy Late Halloween!

Have a fanfic snippet inspired by a conversation from the Preservation Tree Server. Where is it going? Who knows but the concept was very funny to me.

Pin-Lee was frowning at her feed screen and tapping her fingernails on the table arrhythmically when Mensah sat down. “You said there was an update on the TranRollinHyfa suit?” Mensah asked her.  Pin-Lee’s expression was causing her stomach to twist.  Deep breaths, let her chest fill with cool Preservation Station air and release it calmly.  It couldn’t be that bad.  Surely it couldn’t be that bad. “Yeah.”  Pin-Lee grimaced slightly and laid her screen down.  Seeing Mensah’s expression, Pin-Lee’s eyes widened just a little and her grimace turned apologetic.  (Was her own face that bad? Was she that obvious?)  “It’s not bad!  It’s… I mean.  We’re fine.  We’re.  Okay.  So you know that the governing board of shareholders for TranRollinHyfa sued us for the mess we made on their station.  And we counter-sued them going, are you fucking serious right now.” Mensah nodded.  “I’m aware,” she said dryly. “Yeah.  So we sued them for, y’know, allowing you to be held hostage on their station for twenty-two cycles and not only doing nothing about it, taking bribes to actually prevent our ship from docking.  Also letting GrayCris’s asshole lawyer carry around an illegal gun.  Also emotional damages for you, and for me, Ratthi, and Gurathin for good measure.  Approving SecUnits to come after you trying to kill you.  Lots of stuff to counter-sue for.  And it was intentionally overkill.  Trying to send them a message to knock it the fuck off.  I expected them to settle for dropping their suit.”  Pin-Lee’s smile was pained.  “But.” “But?” Mensah prompted.  “You look concerned.  Did we lose?  Do we owe them money after all?” “No,” Pin-Lee said.  “I’m too damn good at my job, I guess.  We won.” “… I don’t follow.” “We were awarded everything we asked for.” “You’re saying that like it’s a bad thing.” Pin-Lee tilted her head back and forth in a gesture of ambivalence.  “Turns out they don’t have the money to pay it.” “So we’ll take exactly what they were suing us for, and call it even.” “Can’t. TranRollinHyfa is going into bankruptcy and liquidation for this.  But for something the size of a station, that’s really, really bad, and tends to end up with assassinations and a bunch of employees dying rather than having their contracts auctioned off and it’s a whole fucking nightmare.  So.  They offered to settle for everything.” “And when you say ‘everything,’ you can’t possibly mean…” “I sure do,” Pin-Lee said, spreading her arms to mean either expansiveness or defeat, Mensah couldn’t tell which.  “Preservation is now the sole owner and proprietor of TranRollinHyfa Station.”

[ayel-goetia]

❌HELLBORNS❌

---Helluva Boss AU---

"Hey you! Yes, YOU, average, ordinary citizen of hell! Are you tired of your boss treating you like a constant walking piece of shit? Has your wife cheated on you for the fifth time this week? Your neighbor's hellhound won't stop defecating in your garden? Well, stop crying and complaining about your existence like a little whore in this pit of hopelessness and eternal suffering and call HELLBORNS now! We will take care of all your ills once and for all in the quickest or most tortuous way possible, it's up to you!

HELLBORNS is a company of assassins specialized in different branches of the art of murder, everyone here is a certified professional, we are legally qualified to practice this profession and we are not accepting contracts from sinners in a secret and illegal way to murder people on earth. We guarantee safe and quality work while respecting 100% the law exercised in hell.

What are you waiting for? Call HELLBORNS today and let the people who were born to do it take care of your problems forever!

Once the murder is done, there are no refunds. We are not responsible if one of our specialized assassins kills a client."

—Black Swan Company.

✨ Hey guys!✨

Well, I finally did it, I brought this AU!

One day I thought about how it would be if I swapped the roles of IMP with the "antagonists" (Verosika is still one?)

But not only that, I also wanted to give it a few differences from the original so that it would have something new and different and not just a simple swap.

So...

⭕What's HELLBORNS?

HELLBORNS is an alternate universe where the roles are reversed, now, Striker will take the place of Blitzø, Chaz will take the place of Moxxie, Verosika will take the place of Millie and finally, Vortex will take the place of Loona.

However, they don't completely take the role of the original. For example: Vortex wasn't adopted by Striker as Loona was by Blitzø.

Characters like Stolas and Stella, for example, do not swap roles, they remain the same. Only the characters mentioned at the beginning (and those involved in their backgrounds) have the swap.

⭕What's the diference?

Many things, actually! For example, they are no longer an independent company that works only killing humans! Now, they work for someone, they also do murders in hell and on earth, and they don't use the book, thanks to the Asmodeus crystal that Verosika possesses.

⭕Is there a difference in relationships?

Of course! In fact, only two of the HELLBORNS group have any relationship beyond coworkers during the beginning, and it's family.

Regarding ships, this AU is already a Straz (StrikerxChaz) AU, so this will be the main ship. The Stoliz will still be present, as well as M&M or practically any relationship already canonized in the series...

Of course, I will take the liberties of developing them in a different way ;-)

(Image without the final details.)

•Characters•

These are the first designs, and I'll admit I made them at a time where I didn't think I would take it any further, so they are redrawn over the official images lol, sorry...

Here they are drawn one hundred percent by me, and also with the designs that I consider the final ones!

Yes, I know, I forgot to add Vortex, but I haven't done it yet... Because I was a bit tired and lazy haha.

Well, that's all for now, I'll probably keep uploading content about this alternate universe. I hope you liked it and found it interesting!

✨See you later and have a spectacular day!✨

[infamouslydorky]

I'm about to put this senator in public view for his opinions

Hey bud, it's not antisemitism to want to stop Isreal from using illegal weapons like white phosphorus on Lebanon. It's not antisemitism to call the country out for killing journalists and medical personnel, like the red cross, for trying to report and help the people of Gaza. It's not antisemitism to acknowledge that the IDF is actively destroying family lines of Palestinians, which very much qualifies as genocide. It's not antisemitism to call Isreal out for striking Beruit, a highly civilian populated city, and destroying apartment buildings with bombs designed to obliterate bunkers. It's not antisemitism to point out that Isreal has sabotaged beepers, used only by emergency personnel like doctors, and rigged them to explode upon beeping.

It IS antisemitism to blame Jewish people specifically for the actions of Isreal BECAUSE they are Jewish. Isreal, as a nation, does not speak for every Jewish person and neither does Netanyahu. Isreal never shared the land with Palestinians as much as Isreal forced Palestinians out of their homelands beginning in 1948. Now, historically, Jewish diaspora is and was very much a real thing, as consequence of a largely antisemitic western society, which forced the migration of Jewish people and displacing them from their original homes until they were once again driven out of any given country until after WW2, and westerners decided to shove all the Jewish people in what is now called Isreal. Fun fact: originally, the UN wanted to put displaced Jewish people in Uganda.

In more precise words, this is another form of colonization that capitalized on the suffering of misplaced peoples that lived in a society that largely scapegoated them for their problems instead of treating them like people and now the country of Isreal is doing the exact same thing to Palestinians.

What remains in the United State's interest in keeping support of Isreal is an easy access base of operations for resources like oil as well as military influence in the region. It is neo-colonialism in a claiming antisemitism trenchcoat.

So, no, it is not antisemitism to hold Isreal accountable for their actions.

It is, however, Islamophobic and racist to continue to state that Hamas beheaded babies with no evidence of such claims.

Also, a devastating hurricane destroyed massive amounts of the state of Florida as well as states like Georgia, South Carolina, Alabama, North Carolina, and Tennessee with another two potentially on the way and no amount of support from the federal government because FEMA has no money but we sure as hell see it shipped off in the billions to kill innocent civilians for the military industrial complex, I tell ya hwat 🙃