#we all think Misha is a nerd

[chlochette-sunde]

About last week-end and the oh-so-cute "Misha, help me"

Am I the only one who remembered that recent instagram live? During which Misha spent 5 minutes trying to figure out how to invite Stacey Abrams to the conversation?

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[multiheadcanons]

THE GOOFIEST SONGS I ASSOCIATE WITH THE MERCS

scout: frankly all of the offense classes get the same song, but it’s the muppet cypher hosted by the stupendium and it’s seven minutes long with multiple artists so guess what it’s all different songs to me today. and they all get this cypher because all three of these dumbasses are muppets in human form. scout definitely gets rizzo’s verse because if nathan didn’t exist skull from jt music is my canon voice for scout. also, “you can leave it to me to put the rat in the race”? “any kind of fourth wall i will happily break”?? dude that’s scout! that IS scout!

soldier: the second dumbass human muppet. y’all know he’s actually sam eagle in human form, right? so sam eagle’s entire verse is indeed soldier. down to the blatant misinformation in the verse because he’s just fucking stupid. i can just hear soldier saying the entire verse word for word as a monologue. “a bunch of weirdos and nerdies”. i bet he does call his teammates nerds. i know he does. the second they show anything more than like, a moderate amount of excitement he’s like wow… what a major nerd. i live and work with major weirdos and nerds.

pyro: the third dumbass human muppet. definitely gonzo the great’s verse, and literally what made me think of this entire post. if only because of the killer lyric combo of “am i he? am i she? am i omnigender? check none of the above, love, i’m whatever” (which is literally just a smooth ass, dope ass lyric and so very real and relatable) and “nobody’s gonna be telling me what is and isn’t canon” because actually yes pyro is my little doodle doll that i doodle on and go “hehe. nice.” and some days pyro is a dragon and other days pyro is a capybara and on the holidays they’re a faerie but really what pyro is is whatever i want them to be on any given day at any given moment. and nobody’s gonna be telling me what is and isn’t canon. honestly the whole cypher eats definitely go give it a listen.

demoman: i just have a question— are your lips dry? i think about demo, and i think about a song, about drinks…. and nothing else. get your mind out of the gutter. can y’all tell i love the stupendium yet? the vending machine of love is definitely one of many masterpieces in stupe’s discography. and the whole vibe of the song is demo the man. eloquent, and elegant, and so effervescent; bubbly, fast paced, with killer lyrics and a smooth, satisfying delivery. and very queer. just like our favorite demolitions expert. slot your pennies in his vending machine of love. and i think demo, like onlycans, the app for soda lovers, is a true chameleon in the sense that there’s really no such thing as not getting along with demo. you will find something about him just irresistible to be around! he’s a chatty, fun loving guy, he’s funny, he’s flirty but not creepy with it (as long as he’s not absolutely plastered), you cannot help but love something about the guy.

heavy: double homicide by cupcakke is heavy weapons guy. sorry not sorry. shut the FUCK up and show me how y’all hold the spot. actual lyric in this actual song. it literally opens with “treat every [REDACTED] just like a sloppy joe; in cold words, bitch we only finna meet for bread” like first of all that’s misha. that IS misha. and the entire first half of the song being so forceful /pos, while not being nearly as fast as it will get in the second half of the song. “head shoulders knees and toes, i bet this bitch won’t leave with those” “itty itty bitty when you’re standing against me” like good god cupcakke wrote this and then said “wow you know who would like this, heavy weapons guy from critically acclaimed game team fortress two”, also it literally ENDS on “motherfucker need a doctor” which makes me scream because i think about the fact that if heavy is dominating an enemy medic, he doesn’t have domination lines against the medic; he’s only insulting the rest of the team for not protecting him. it reminds me of that lazypurple clip where he’s like “don’t rush heavy without a plan, that’s what he wants.”

engineer: he does what he does cause he’s a total fuckin cunt-ry boy. bo burnham has this song. i literally don’t know what it’s actual title is, but it’s that fucking country song? frankly i think engie would like bo burnham in general as a comedian, when i think of engie’s sense of humor i definitely think of bo burnham. dry, dark, poignant, fast enough that you’ll lose him if you don’t keep up. i also heavily associate entropy by awkwardmarina with him too. i think engie is, at his core and at his best, morally grey. self-sufficient, self-serving, and willing to do anything to get him where he needs to go. i think him shifting too far into “good” or “bad” does little justice for who dell conagher is in my mind and removes so much of any facet of his personality that he’s not dell: an insanely intelligent man, who comes from insanely intelligent family, with a lot of secrets he is the sole guard of at this time. and i think engie does feel like he is out of place most places from the sheer amount of information running through his mind at any given point. he’s simply not generic in a way that would make him a real, true functioning member of average society. but for the place he carved out for himself, he absolutely is a pillar and cornerstone of his community. the team would simply not be the same if he wasn’t there.

medic: YOU’RE EITHER WITH ME OR DOOMED! pharrell williams has actually released nothing but banger after banger for the despicable me soundtrack, and the good doctor does indeed get hug me from the third movie that i never watched. what i can tell you though, is that in no case of any one on one interaction with medic, is he ever the straight man. this man is an instigator, a shit starter, and a shit ender with the grin to match. because who else will stay in trouble with you? the doctor will run into open fire with you if he has a 75% confidence one of you will make it to the other side. and if it’s below, he’s willing to try to figure out what you both can do to better those odds. the best part about medic is that he is not a runner. god tier partner in crime. he will get arrested with you and call the team to post bail for both of you. he can be stuck to your hip if you want him to be. the world is his oyster, and for the low price of your soul it can be yours too.

sniper: i don’t know why, but tom cardy’s perception check is sniper to me. other than the fact that i do believe snipes is literally the most perceptive mercenary, like i don’t think anything has ever not been registered in snipes’ subconscious that he was witnessed even out of his peripherals, but i also think that there is an odd algorithm between snipes doing well on the field, and the rest of the team doing well on the field. and there’s a spot where one can argue both parties do “well”; but if the team is absolutely massacring on the field, sniper has missed nine of his ten shots. but! when the team is eating shit on the field; those happen to be the days sniper has gotten nine hours of sleep. also, snipes is probably lethal with some of the insults he’ll hurl on the field. if he doesn’t just straight up point at engie sometimes and yell “SHORT!”. another one that sniper really embodies now that we have a canonical age for him that i will continue to only marginally respect? 30 by bo burnham. no explanation, you already know.

spy: yet another banger from the despicable me soundtrack. i could go on at length about how double life has also cemented itself as one of pharrell william’s absolute masterpieces not just in the despicable me soundtrack, not just in animated movie soundtrack, but perhaps his entire discography. and i see the edit in my mind, seriously. i see the mid teens edit style spycentric MEP except it’s not romantic it’s the fact that his team doesn’t trust him as far as they can throw him. i can see the edit so clearly in my mind… i really think about the line “it doesn’t matter to you if you get heads or tails, you just don’t like to flip all the time.” because to me, that’s a very canonically spy sentiment! and it’s why i personally justify to myself why spy would even bother to sign onto a team of mercenaries, instead of continuing to be a lone wolf. he wants to have a group he can align himself with. he’s looking for a reciprocation of the support he knows he offers. but his team greatly distrusts him for it.

[spac3d0lls]

it is currently almost 4 am but because i woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep i would like to make my personal thorough defense of space age bachelor man because hoooooooly shit do i see a lot of hate for it. which like. is okay. because you’re allowed to have opinions. but THATS MY BOY :(

“it doesn’t show us as much about ricky as the other songs do about the other characters” did we watch the same musical?? you need to contextualize the song. yes, it’s shocking for shocking’s sake, but it’s so much more than just the stupid cat fucking song!!!

ricky is a person who had been infantalized and pitied his whole life. he was seen as a person with very little coming for him and someone without the potential to live a fulfilling life. the life he imagined, quite literally had him in the center of his universe, because naturally, he was tired of being shoved to the side.

he’s also a teenage boy!!!! teenage boys are weird!!!!! ricky, despite the way people perceive him, has the libido of a teenage boy. i think the inclusion of this fact is very important to both ride the cyclone’s exploration of teenage sexuality and love, and it’s theme of people being more than what meets the eye. everybody’s lives affect their relationship with sexuality in the musical—noel longed for tragedy both because his life lacked thrill and the prospect of stability seemed impossible to him. misha may have been perceived as a person without conviction, but his heart was pure and belonged to one and one alone. constance did what she did because she felt unfulfilled in her dying town.

ricky is weird. think of the greasiest gloopiest teenage boy gooner nerd you know irl and that’s ricky. but the issue he is running counter to is that not a single person in his life thought that he was capable of displaying those sorts of emotions. to people in his life, ricky wasn’t a normal teenage boy. he was an object to be infantilized. THAT is why space age is so shocking.

it also shows us ricky’s wild imagination and beautiful core belief system. ricky’s a lover, not a fighter! he has a beautiful creative mind, and truly believes with all his heart that the world deserves peace. the song further expands on the “porno is magical” tangent ricky goes on earlier in the show. so many of the comics ricky loves so dearly glorify war, fighting, and destruction. ricky created a universe with “love” at the forefront. yes, this is shocking and funny, but if you dig a little deeper, it’s a reflection of ricky’s intellect and character.

he created a trope subversion of the comics he loves so much, in order to reflect his system of beliefs. instead of defeating external conflicts by waging war, zolar defeats them with love.

also he’s creative enough to conjure up an entire world and story in his head and if we’re going by the 2016 canon, draw it all out too!!

“but i just don’t like rock” valid. but the musical explores multiple genres already. sabm’s david bowie influences fit perfectly with it, because david bowie also blended the cosmics with sexuality :) it fits quite well for our boy.

happy birthday ricky!!!!!

[sloanescasebook]

Thoughts on 41-Taken in Vein

So, after posting it a few days ago, I thought I'd talk about my more recent chapter of CoSL...

And what a pain in the ass it was.

I mean, not really. I enjoyed writing it. The problem was I kept re-writing it.

Dracula and vampires were always a big thing for me, since I was a kid. My dad actually read me Dracula when I was like 7, I was a big fan of The Little Vampire and an old cartoon called the Ketchup Vampires. I even played a vampire at a theater camp production. So I had a lot of nostalgia for this topic.

I also have since read a lot more vampire novels--classics like Carmilla and newer stuff too. (I will say I tried Twilight when it came out at my high school...but I didn't really gel with it, I say politely). I'm a horror movie nerd so there's that too. So though the election, holidays, etc took a lot out of me, I was trying my best to get it out there.

I just had too many ideas.

I conceived this plot a long time ago, probably two years now, as a quick idea blurb in my idea's file. Originally, the main couple was going to be two girls--Lisa and Meena, who were both medical professionals. The story was still about a stalker but it would be Meena's former fiancee as she came from and Indian family that tried to arrange a marriage that she walked out on for Lisa. Like before, they'd both be a kind of blood drinking vampiric wesen--Lisa being a more straightforward bat-like vampire and Meena a Raksha, a blood drinking Indian creature.

But I realized I wanted a male gay couple. Mim and Jean play a big part, I've made allusions to Sloane's past girlfriend (who will be making an appearance one day soon...i hope), Gallan and her crush on Zima, and Dierdre and Victoria were a thing once. By contrast, I didn't have a lot of M/M couples. Kind of a surprise given my fanfiction start was chiefly Yaoi back on FF. Net...

Anyway, just making them guys wasn't doing it for me. So I played around and I made Misha and...Lucas. Yeah, Vaughn's name was originally Lucas, still to play on "MIna and Lucy". John or Joanna was going to be the ex turned stalker. But it still wasn't working.

Around this time, Microsoft Word pissed me off. I'd used it for years, figuring I was at least using it enough to make the price valid. Then they put AI in it. Not as an option, as an "included feature". Seeing "copilot" and it's tab annoyed me enough, but it also started asking EVERY NEW PARAGRAPH if i wanted to have Copilot work on it. I honestly did feel insulted. Then to add injury to my insult, I get a notice a week before my subscription (don't even get me started, I don't know why I put up with it all these years aside from fear of change) renewed they were going to HIKE MY SUB PRICE UP BECAUSE "OH, WE HAVE AI NOW SO IT'S WORTH MORE." For a feature I did not want and did not ask for and would rather never write again than use. Fuck you Microsoft. Even better, since my sub was through Best Buy (fuck them too) I tried to cancel online and it wouldn't let me log in. This felt planned. Unlucky for them, I'm angry enough to go 45 minutes to the nearest bestbuy and cancel it in person 2 days before the renewal. I was apparently refunded 22 cents. I've switched over to LIbre office and despite a learning curve and a bit of frustration with having a lot of perfectly normal words it doesn't know apparently, it's good.

So, I went back to writing. I brought in some Carmilla inspirations. Berta originally was going to be a bitchy, unprofessional nurse that had a crush on Lucas and was causing trouble for Misha, as a red herring who ends up dead. I liked that, especially her death scene, but it wasn't working for me.I kept playing around with who the stalker wanted, Misha or Lucas, and who the suspect was going to be. I started really messing up my timeline and events...So I started using Millinote to try and keep track of things. I was really starting to feel like this pic of Charlie Day

Finally, I think draft...6? Not full chapters mind you, usually about halfway on all of them before I started over or cut and pasted stuff around because something wasn't working or i got a new idea. Probably most of them are at least 25K...Finally, I made Roberta a vampire obsessed weird news girl because her last name, Swale, was the character in Dracula who tried to warn people something was wrong when the ship, The Demeter, docked with the crew gone. And ended up dead because of it. That actually started making a lot of other things fall into place--Misha's friends being killed, his past, why he's so paranoid, etc. I renamed Lucas "Vaughn" because it felt more contemporary while also having a very vampiric feel to it, and used Lussier for Misha's colleague's last name because it was like "Lucy".

I really liked the end result. I do wish I got to keep a bit of the drama at the hospital, but considering i was OVER A03's WORD LIMIT when i first tried to publish, I had to trim even more. Mostly I tried to streamline areas. I cut Sloane and Dierdre talking and moved it to the next chapter (:3) and I cut a few smaller parts...Including one part of Nick showing why people might find vampire romance novels enticing.

I've cut or put off other scenes before...I'm considering doing a "missing moments" doc with them and bits we didn't see but I inferred. If there's anything that's got you curious let me know. I could even make it...spicy. (I haven't done NSFW in so long though, omg...)

[shallowseeker]

Who called cas a pretty angel? A demon (crowley?) I know he said that cas has sex appeal, but I can't remember whether or not Crowley called him pretty . Or was it Balthazar or other angels. I remember someone calling cas a pretty angel

I was on the ao3 tag looking through some dean cas fics and came across this highschool fic and how dean was a jock, cool guy and like cas is the nerd that was basically the intro and then it got me thinking of all these other highschool intro fics that makes cas the nerd etc

And like for all intents and purposes it makes more sense for cas to be the jock. Throwback to ishm calling him an angels angel. Like it makes sense that cas would be the cool one Specifically the type who is cool but internally doesn't feel like he belongs with them since he doesn't fit in that crowd.

Why I am I ranting lol it's probably cause its 1 am lol

But cas was the cool angel right? when he was still in and accepted by the angels

I think you're thinking of Changing Channels: "No, no. *MR. Trickster does not like pretty-boy angels." :-)

///

There are snide comments made about Cas's attractiveness, sure, with Gabriel and most demonic characters. But those are mostly power-motioned taunting.

You’re right about Crowley. I think Crowley's positive associations were, "Buddy Boy, you have what they call sex appeal." ("Thank you. Get to the point.") And if you squint, "You like to bend em right over, don't you?" which is the mated joke to Crowley's failed taunting, "You're the bottom in this relationship." (However, Cas on Crowley in TMWWBK? “But I was smarter than him, stronger. (I wasn't ever threatened.)")

///

IMHO, Cas is canonically implied to be handsome, simply by how regular people react to him. There's the woman on the television in season 6, saying (of Godstiel) - "He was SEXY." (After which Dean quickly turns off the TV.) Although...it's hard to say whether she was simply having a "Ted-Bundy-groupie-style" fawning moment... We can point to Mandy the waitress, but maybe she was just playing along and fawning over the guy who looked most likely to leave tips...

I guess it's up to interpretation.

I happen to think Cas's sexiness extends beyond his vessel. There's the "Angel's angel" line, of course, but also in Metatron's taunting of the beautiful Hannah wanted to be "dominated" by a more rugged experienced-battalion-oriented angel.

Taken together, I think it's pretty safe to say Cas is considered handsome, rugged, strong, cool, popular etc; both in-vessel and as simply a natural way of his being among the angels.

///

On your second point, I think fanfic is safe to explore just about anything, so I don't fault whatever way it wants to swing!

Cas certainly has enough dorky/“doof” moments to play with, and he's very brainy/eccentric/philosophical sometimes! Plus, I think there's some actor bleed-over with Misha Collins, honestly, who is in my head more similar to Dean than Castiel. (But that's neither here nor there.)

I do happen to think that in-world, all signs point to, "Cas is popular/cool even when he's a doof."

I actually think Cas exemplifies, "Even when he loses, he wins," more than the characters that actually long to exemplify this, especially when it comes to people and “being likable.” It frustrates characters like Metatron (probably also Crowley, Rowena, Chuck Shurley, even Sam -> "i.e. characters with have ambition but can't seem to muster up enough natural charisma to get where they wanna go").

And I think part of that is...well. Castiel has charisma. He has a natural willingness to play big and fail spectacularly. (Unlike characters like Rowena or Crowley, Cas usually puts his own skin in the game/his own self on the line as “the muscle.”)

In one-on-one battle, Metatron laments Cas's abilities to be popular. He calls him various things like, "the villain/lame/braindead puppy/stupid jock/underdog. Metatron is holding the high cards, even the angel tablet! And yet Castiel manages to match his nice guy 4D chess...somehow. “I didn't think he'd be good at it!" (NOTE: After all that, Metatron kinda…resorts to killing Dean as petty revenge.)

Metatron certainly comes off as "no fair! He's not even trying to be cool and here I am putting in all this effort to look cool and no one sees me as anything other than a loser!" Or "Why is it lame when I do it, but people fawn over Ass-stiel?! I'm a nice guy!!!"

METATRON: Well, I could get a new face. TYRUS: You'd still be you -- a nerd trying to be one of the popular kids. Mnh-mnh....my guys will go running to Castiel.

We've all been there.

So yeah. Even when Castiel's "a doof," he's cool/popular and connects with others pretty effortlessly.

But it's Cas's willingness to spectacularly fail that gets him places, canonically. It wins him points with others even when that's not what he's trying to do. It's that earnestness. I'll quote Daphne in Scoobynatural on what she looks for in a guy: "Strong, sincere..."

I mean, just look at how quickly Rowena flipped on him. :-)

Aside/// Like Dean, Cas doesn't actually want the big things, not really. He wants the horrifically mundane little things (boring family life). Not because of what it represents, "Normal Life." It's not a checklist of status symbol of "Success" or "Making It."

No, for characters like Dean and Cas, it's simply an emotional thing. And I think it's part of what makes them likeable/able to form connections so much more readily than other characters.

[away-ward]

Before PD released hideaway she came out with an interview stating the boys preferred first date they would take a girl out on and Will's answer was hide n seek in a library. I remember being so mad we didnt get a scene or chapter of the sorts with Willemmy. How do you think a hide n seek library date with Willemmy would go?

If I had the same experience, I would have been mad too. If all I knew about Will is that he was secretly obsessed with the known nerd, and that his ideal first date was hide and seek in the library (clearly thinking of her) and I didn't get a hide and seek library scene in his book, I couldn't imagine the irritation I'd have felt upon first reading NF.

As for how I think it would go... I mean. "Date" implies Emmy is there willingly. I'm sort of iffy in the movie scene counts as a date since Em was only partially willing and Will didn't really have anything planned. He just sort of whipped it up as he went, which is cool but I do really think it's a date in the way we think of them. So that could be one reason why we didn't get a library date scene - it was literally another fantasy Will never got to have.

I'm really not sure how it would happen? Like, I can imagine it being another situation where Will asked her to meet him and she didn't go, going to the library instead and then he gets to start the game from there. But again, that's not really a date and it is too similar to the Lab scene. Which now that I think about it, was a bit of a hide and seek game...

So they're dating. Or at least associating willingly. Since this is Will's idea, he brings her to the library. Does he tell her that they're playing a game or let her figure it out? I think at first, he hides. He says he's there to pick up something, and has they're wandering the aisles, he disappears from her side. She goes to look for him...

(now I'm remembering a scene in Punk 57? Was there a library scene for Misha and Ryen? Did Misha get Will's library date?)

She keeps seeing him at the end of aisles only for him to be gone when she gets to the end. Slowly she starts to realize the library is empty. She's starting to get a little unnerved but also a little excited. Never a boring moment with Will.

She does run into him, though she thinks it's because he let her. He was just standing there. When she calls him out for disappearing, he doesn't answer. When she asks where everyone went, he doesn't answer. When she asks what he's doing, he doesn't. Answer.

The way he's staring at her starts to feel familiar. She recalls the night in the lab.

"my turn to hide?" She asks.

He smiles. He knew she'd figure it out.

She dashes down an aisle, the whispers of a giggle following after her.

Ten, he starts. Nine, eight...

Or something like that.

Tell me, what's your guy's ideas??

[creationfathers]

Ugh. Of course Amber has found Misha’s Substack and is now posting her endless self-absorbed garbage on there too (in response to his post about Israel/Palestine, no less! That’s totally fine. Not at all hideously inappropriate. And she’s *lecturing* him! Like he isn’t 20 years her senior and at least 100 IQ points beyond her. She’s basically telling him to shut up and focus on her.. sorry THEIR.. “light work journey”. “Turn off the tv and go do your meditations. When are you going to focus on yourself?” Ughhhhhhh! I want to shake her! Amber, just because *you’re* a moron who didn’t go to college and doesn’t know or care anything about politics or what’s going on in the world, doesn’t mean *Misha* is like that. I swear, she doesn’t know him at all. She says “I’m sorry your fans bullied you into writing about this subject” like bitch WHAT?! Misha comments on world events all the time! He was at the frickin White House a few weeks ago chatting with HRC! He was INVITED because he’s a politically engaged activist. He went to frickin Ukraine a few months ago and met Zelensky! He has a paid subscription to the New York Times. He graduated from one of the top universities in the country with a BA in sociology. He interned at the White House and NPR. He interviewed practically every Democrat running for US Senate in the past three cycles! It’s legit insane that she thinks they are “the same person” when he’s a self-made millionaire marathon-running politics nerd and she’s an unemployed fat slob conspiracy theorist who doesn’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. I’m so utterly sick of this stalker idiot. I wish she’d just get some therapy.. or a lobotomy. Whatever’s faster. 😡

Come on man, we gotta stop bullying Misha into doing stuff 🤦

That bitch hahaha what a moron

Anyway as soon as I started reading this I got 👇

[wonderlandleighleigh]

86 Thoughts while watching The OC season one episode 4: The Debut

1. I love that these early episodes really focused on the Cohens+1 as a family, and established these really deep dynamics.

2. Seth is such a shitty kid and it’s so funny in these early eps. It feels more endearing than like...shitty in later episodes.

3. Ryan getting adoptedddddddddd what a good lil math nerd.

4. Anyone who thinks Ryan is a bad boy I feel like you miss the point of the character. He has terrible luck, and a bad temper, but also, he is a MATH NERD who says whole sentences with his eyes.

5. “You steal a car? You burn down a house? You beat up the captain of the water polo team?” Let’s be real, Luke won that fight. Ryan isn’t a good fighter lol.

6. Kirsten is not a hugger.

7. Brody’s little groove walk is fun.

8. Califoniaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa here we cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmme

9. underpants!

10. Seth rolling around on Ryan’s bed like a puppy. Sir what.

11. He doesn’t have any things.

12. Poor Ryan, he does not know how to deal with this debutante thing.

13. Peggy deserved more than two episodes, she’s so salty and I love her. Where did she go???

14. Jimmy and Sandy are such strange frenemies. Like Jimmy so clearly still has a thing for Kirsten and Sandy knows. He knows, and he knows they have to play nice (for now), but he is not thrilled. He’s a friendly dude mostly, so he’s not gonna start shit just because, but like. He knows it’s bad.

15. My big quibble with this episode is that the girls’ dresses look incredibly cheap. At least for the main three girls they could have gone higher end. Or maybe it’s just that 2003 style.

16. I know Luke is like “bleh Ryan” but I can’t help thinking of it as a lil bi panic.

17. Summer trying to bang Ryan. Ryan like “I mean she’s hot but...but...but...”

18. Ryan and Summer should have banged.

19. Like not a relationship. But just. Boning.

20. I’ve warmed up to Marissa as I’ve gotten older. She’s very sweet in these early episodes.

21. That is so much wine Sandy just poured Kirsten. SO MUCH. BRUH YOUR WIFE HAS A DRINKING PROB- we’ll talk about next season.

22. I love all the comic books just lying around as set dressing.

23. Ryan’s favorite comic is Justice Society of America, and I love that for him. It’s very classic superhero, but it’s not one of the BIG ONES.

24. Poor Kirsten, finding out about Jimmy’s dumb shit.

25. Sandy is in full lawyer mode. “We have to tell everybody this dude stole from them.”

26. I wish I liked these dresses more.

27. But god the music cues are so on point. The soundtrack for the OC is just top notch, all thees years later.

28. And ask the world to stay away please....

29. Ryan is so sweet. He just can’t say no.

30. Fucking Jimmy.

31. God damn, Julie just spending every last cent. She doesn’t ask ever about their finances. She just assumes. But Jimmy let her believe they were more than fine.

32. Jimmy is such an idiot. I wish I liked him more. He’s supposed to be charming. I love Tate Donovan. But god. That character.

33. Try to enjoy this, please! I love Peggy. Justice for Peggy.

34. The dancing. Poor Ryan.

35. Who let Adam Brody out of his feral nerd cage? Whoever it was, I’m grateful.

36. Summer is such a douche in these early episodes. Her character arc is amazing through the series. Truly. one of my favorites in TV history.

37. i still don’t quite buy Ryan and Marissa’s chemistry. Part of it is that Misha Barton is so young, and she hasn’t had time to develop as an actress. I feel like if she’d been like two years older when she played Marissa it’d hit harder.

38. Annaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. God I love Anna. Again. She has such good chemistry with Seth and Ryan. Again. Ryan should have been allowed to date Anna.  The two with the most common sense in the whole bunch together? Power couple.

39. Kirsten, stop trying to save Jimmy he doesn’t deserve it.

40. Oh Holly. I would have loved for her to get a redemption arc. Like still kind of brainless, but more mature. Less shitty. She comes back in s4 and has learned nothing.

41. Ben McKenzie eye acting choices.

42. Jimmmyyyyyyyyyyyy karma said “hey hi how ya doin”

43. Barbecutionist.

44. Marissa watching Luke’s friends and feeling just so done. Girl I get it.

45. Poor Ryan. He just wants to go home and hide in his pool house and read comic books and not deal with this dumb crap.

46. Luke’s weird toxic masculinity is pretty rough. He gets a nice redemption arc later where he just turns into a golden retriever. I love that for him.

47. Yep. There’s the JSA issue.

48. Julie really wants to be a good mother, but she puts so much importance on appearance and image and perception. And dumping all of that on her very sensitive daughter is cruel.

49. I love Julie’s eye makeup.

50. Melinda Clarke is such a heavy hitter in this series. Julie Cooper, Urban Cougar was such a thing.

51. Sandy not going either. Sandy said fuck that.

52. Again, these dresses...they’re just not...great.

53. lol Sandy and Ryan just....”Nah.” “Yeah, me neither.”

54. THE BONDING. THE VIDEO GAMES. I love this dynamic so much.

55. Sandy serving truth. “They’ve all got secrets and they’re all terrified that the guy nextdoor is gonna find them out.”

56. It’s such a sweet moment, and then “You just stabbed me again.”

57. Summerrrrrrrrrrrrr.

58. lol Anna and Seth spewing comic book stuff.

59. YOU’RE A GIRL. Bitch I have been reading comic books since 1991.

60. The birth of the Summer/Seth/Anna triangle/almost thruple.

61. I just tried to liken them to Roy/Keeley/Jamie but there is no grumpy asshole.

62. But if it were Summer/Ryan/Anna, we would have a Lasso Thruple sitch.

63. But not really.

64. Sandy is the best. I swear.

65. Jimmy and karma doin that dance.

66. Luke is, in fact, an idiot.

67. “Stop hitting a dude who didn’t actually do anything to you.” “I AM LEAVING BECAUSE YOU MAKE SENSE!” Oy.

68. Anna is so charming. I love her.

69. Julie just dislikes Ryan so damn much. Christ.

70. “Confidence, Cohen!” Ugh. So cute.

71. I love Seth/Summer but Anna/Seth was also so so fun.

72. “We’re gonna go this way.” lol

73. We don’t see Summer walk by herself. I think that was a missed opportunity.

74. Peggyyyyyyyyyy! My beloved!

75. The sweetness of this scene lasts all of three seconds before Jimmy gets slugged in his face.

76. I love that they were never afraid of the fact that Marissa was just a lil taller than Ryan. the visual works so well for the show.

77. Here we go.

78.”Bad accounting.”

79. hot damn y’all this old man fight lol.

80. Julie’s shaking fingers is such a nice touch in this moment.

81. I guess Sandy figures karma has done its job on Jimmy and now he can be supportive. lol.

82. Seth and Annaaaaaaa. Jesus so cute. Even though they’re kind of the same person lol.

83. Another great music cue. To Sheila, by the Smashing Pumpkins.

84. I just. I want to like Marissa more. I’m still not sure why I can’t get there all these years later.

85. LOL Luke. With the weird sneak attack.

86. And that’s it. A last shot of Ryan alone, who should be heading home to avoid the police.

[cockelores]

maybe not relevant or interesting for anyone except me, but i keep thinking about the nerd hq panel from 2014 and one question that was asked there, so I’m making a little analysis post <3 i also briefly looked through some posts from that time, but didn’t see this interaction mentioned anywhere, so! here it goes

the question starts at 9:27 and the whole answering goes til 14:30. (I’d say it’s worth watching it play out in the video first, just to be able to feel this a little more, u know)

the fan asks: “what has been the best/most memorable moment and experience this whole journey you guys have done with the show?”

jared: oh that’s easy. no, it actually is easy for me, i met my wife on the show. uh, yeah, the mother of my two kids. so right, that’s easy for me. good luck guys.

then he gives them this look and jensen waits a second and (without looking at him directly) says “thanks jared”

at the same time misha starts answering the question: for me it was the first time that I - I- slept with [a short pause that seems aaalmost deliberate here] jared’s wife

jensen nods a little exaggeratedly and looks around, and idk if it’s just me but he has a weird, sort of far away look in his eyes? like he’s thinking hard about an answer of his own or something. mark jokes about how misha is the father of jared’s two kids then, and jensen looks like he only grins at that because everyone else is laughing too, not like he necessarily listened all that well lol

misha fidgets and grins and looks a little awkward, but he throws a very short glance at jensen before looking at the audience again

they keep joking about that a little more, “are we live again? I’ll be more careful” and about someone in the audience

then jared asks: what about you sheppar-......ackles?

jensen turns to him and looks kind of caught off guard, turns to mark who asks “who?” and back to jared again and asks “what?” himself. he seems a little unprepared, actually audibly gulps when he makes an attempt at answering, stammers a little and passes the question on to mark at last

idk about you, but to me it looks like ever since jared answered the question at the beginning, jensen has come up with a very similar answer in his head - an answer that he’s obviously not gonna say out loud. and he’s sort of struggling to come up with an alternative and seems like he’d rather just be ignored and move on to the next question.

anyway, there’s some short banter between mark and the moderator, and then misha picks up where he left his previous answer: i have to say for me, and I’m not gonna distill it to a single moment, other than the one that i mentioned earlier. 

jared interrupts and makes a joke about how it was probably just a single moment, everyone laughs (sadly the camera doesn’t pan to jensen, would have liked to see how he reacted) and some jokes follow, and misha never finishes his answer

mark then asks “what about you jensen?” and jensen ONCE AGAIN seems to have expected that he could have gotten out of this one without answering and says “what?” and somehow manages to pass the question on to mark again

[not relevant for this post at all but here are two gifs that i just wanted to include

ok continuing with the post]

mark talks about how he was bullied on set by jared (as a joke but also, it makes me feel very uncomfy if what he said is true (also now after charcon i wonder why he said he wasn’t pranked by jared? (or did he say that, i didn’t watch)))

and then, at last, it looks like jensen has come up with an answer! he talks about how directing his father was a memorable experience for him and finishes his answer like this: there’s been a lot of great moments though over the past nine years. and i would say the fact we can say it has been nine years is one of the greatest things of the series that we can say, so thank you.

very curious to know if he is looking at mark or at misha here (the latter is not looking back) but this conclusion to the question gives me a lot of “i have some amazing pebbles in my life [pats misha’s shoulder]” vibes

anyway, just looking at all of this through cockles glasses sure is something! at least to me! starting with jared’s answer at the beginning, i think he has every right to say what he said, because meeting your spouse has got to have a very very significant meaning to you, but it is inevitably gonna put the other couple in a weird spot. they might like to repeat what he said, make it even funnier by turning to mark and repeat jareds words like “good luck mark!!” but yeah, obviously not happening. 

but then what misha answers at first does seem to me like it is an attempt? like a joke that is funny hearing in the most overt way, him literally joking about sleeping with jared’s wife, but also like an inside joke between the four of them who can see the subtext of what he is saying. and that’s also why i imagine the very brief pause after he says “sleeping with” was deliberate, because perhaps he was intending to give them a short heart attack, like he was gonna mention someone else after that 😀

and then there’s the whole thing with how jensen is acting throughout this. if i try to imagine myself in his position, it feels so logical that he’s acting kind of off? because he does get put on the spot a little here. but this is all just about vibes and feelings here, idk!! it just makes me nod in a way, like yeah jensen, i get this somehow. the queer experience, one might say

I feel like i could say more, but maybe the clip also speaks for itself. from a cockles pov it’s all just.....sus

[babyboywilson]

loving him felt like the warmth of the sun

Kiss #1 - Small kisses littered across the other’s face.

50 types of kisses masterpost. Also posted on ao3.

Dean stepped outside into the garden, the sun glinting in his eyes as he squinted through the beams in search of his angel. The breeze whispered through his hair, the soft scent of floral fragrance lingering in the air from the flowers Cas had planted that afternoon. A serene feeling filled Dean’s body as his eyes found Cas swinging gently in the hammock between the oak trees at the back of their yard. The peaceful sight sent a wave of adoration straight to Dean’s heart.

Walking along the stepping stones Dean had laid out for Cas the week prior to make a winding pathway through the garden, he gently carried two glasses of sweet tea and placed them on the table next to the hammock. It was their neighbors recipe which Cas was utterly obsessed with and it had fast become the angel’s favorite drink.

Softly, he nudged Cas’ ankle with his boot, making sure not to startle Cas with his presence. “Hey, handsome. Brought you some iced tea,” Dean said, shuffling and swaying the double hammock as he precariously shifted them into a comfortable position on the rope lattice. “The daylilies look really good.”

“You think so?” Cas said, letting Dean pull his legs across the hunter’s lap.

“I do. The orange color pairs well with the lavender,” Dean hummed, nuzzling his nose under Cas’ jaw.

“Thank you. For coming to the plant nursery with me this morning, and for pointing out the daylilies while we were there,” Cas said, reaching out to snag one of the cool glasses to take a sip. He offered Dean the glass- which caught Dean by surprise at Cas’ willingness to share his favorite drink- and Dean sighed in content as the sip of iced tea danced across his palate before Cas took the glass back again.

Dean let the peaceful moment lapse between them, the soft buzzing of bees and chirping of birds filling the air around them. Gently he went back to rocking the hammock, feeling Cas relax in his arms.

God, he never knew putting a hammock out in the yard would be so soothing, but it had fast become Cas’ favorite place to be in the afternoon to read a book. And somehow, Cas always let Dean climb into the hammock with him; rocking them softly as the day slowly passed them by.

“Did you know I love you?” Dean murmured, breaking the comfortable silence.

Cas beamed, leaning forward to press a kiss to Dean’s cheek. But the angel didn’t stop there. He started littering small kisses over Dean’s face; feather light presses of lips against Dean’s temple, his eyelids, his eyebrows, the tip of his nose. Everywhere Cas could reach, he dotted a kiss to Dean’s skin; lingering against any freckle his lips could find. 

As his lips trailed kisses against Dean’s face, Cas’ hands wandered down his body. Fingertips left soft traces of patterns against hips and danced across ribs. Even Cas’ body was arched into Dean, sunkissed skin curling around Dean as if Cas simply could not get enough of Dean.

Finally, after peppering kisses to every wrinkle and laugh line on Dean’s face, Cas kissed Dean on the lips. It was slow and ever-so-soft. Gentle little pecks against Dean’s mouth, and every time Cas pulled away he darted back in to kiss Dean’s lips again and again.

The adoration Dean had been feeling earlier bloomed in his chest like the flowers in their garden, and he reached up to tangle his fingers in Cas’ hair to tug the angel even closer into the kisses. Their bodies tangled together; legs slotting together as Dean all but tugged Cas on top of him. The angel's arms snaked around his waist and Dean rubbed one of his feet up the back of Cas’ calf. After several long lingering seconds, Dean pulled away, nudging his nose against Cas’. “What was that for?” Dean asked breathlessly.

“Because I love you, too,” Cas murmured.

The adoration burst into overwhelming affection, and Dean was momentarily stunned by the fact he got to have this. This love, this retired life in their cozy little house with it’s serene garden, this moment in their hammock wrapped up in each other’s arms.

“Oh good, because that means I can steal this,” Dean said, sneaking his hand out and stealing Cas’ iced tea and taking a few gulps before Cas yanked the glass away.

“You’ve got your own drink right there,” Cas whined, even though he offered the straw to Dean again.

Dean grinned, taking another sip before quickly kissing Cas on the mouth, letting the sweet taste of the tea transfer from his lips to Cas’. He settled back against Cas’ side, casting his eyes over towards the grill. They’d had burgers last night, but he could put together some hot dogs and ribs for a change.

“What do you say to grilling together again tonight? I kinda wanna stay out here and enjoy the evening,” Dean said, nuzzling behind Cas’ ear.

With his free hand, Cas reached out and tangled his fingers with Dean’s. “I’d like that very much,” Cas said, closing his eyes and letting out a happy hum.

With a smile of his own, Dean pushed against the ground with the heel of his foot to gently sway the hammock again. The breeze drifted by, a butterfly landed on the tree the hammock was tied to, and Dean relished this perfect moment of domestic bliss they’d carved out for themselves in their home.

Beta’d by the lovely @aussie-twat!

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[absandersons]

what makes you think the writers want deancas? not trying to be an asshole, i'm just genuinely curious as to why you think that. i know berens' episodes are pretty heavy with subtext so i can see why you'd say that he wants it, but i'm not so sure about the rest of the writers/dabb. it seems like meghan isn't a huge fan either, given her "they twisted it so fast" tweet :/ of course she's a very new writer (think she's only writing one ep this season?) but still

OKAY this is a great question, welcome to my dissertation.

I’m going to address the end of your question first. Meghan is actually DeanCas positive, she has been for quite a long time. She actually, a few years back, posted a picture of her reading a literal book about Destiel and captioned it “writing reading” or something like that.

This whole thing just comes out of a boiling over of tensions because of how nasty fandom twitter can be. Like I said here, I think this has just gotten blown out of proportion, they shouldn’t have posted all this randomly disparaging stuff, but also like...can you blame them? The fandom is a lot, we always have been, and they’re probably also under a gag order not to talk about the finale, and are annoyed that people keep asking.

So nah, Meg is not anti Destiel.

To the first part!! So let’s take a look at the show runners since Cas has been around.

Seasons 4 and 5: Kripke

Seasons 6 and 7: Gamble

Seasons 8-11ish: Carver

Seasons 11ish-15: Dabb

So starting with Kripke. Okay, yes, I will be the first to admit that we have some pretty incredible Destiel moments in these seasons, but it’s less directly written into the plot and much more from Misha and Jensen’s uhhhh ~chemistry~. The only times it was directly written into the script was when the episode was handled by someone like Edlund (“On The Head Of A Pin,” “The End,” “My Bloody Valentine”). And you have to remember, if in season 5, there are moments here and there where you’re like huh that’s suspiciously romantic dialogue, remember that Cas took Anna’s place. Anna was supposed to be endgame for Dean, but due to a myriad of issues and Misha’s general greatness, Anna was replaced with Cas.

Onto 6 and 7. Hmmm. Gamble. 6 and 7 are my two least favorite seasons and that’s no secret, and that’s not only due to the plain old weird shit in the overall storyline, but also that homegirl killed off Cas in s7 and then Bobby like four episodes later. (Also it ALWAYS rubbed me the wrong way they couldn’t have Baby in that season lol). We still had some great DeanCas moments, but again, it wasn’t really written into the overall arc (until they had to change the end of season 7 because of tanking ratings and bring Misha back lol, anyone remember the fact that Dean kept Cas’ jacket and would randomly dream of him? Yeah.). But we still had those moments, those distinctly romantic moments, probably the best example in these two seasons is from Edlund again, specifically “The Man Who Would be King,” I wrote a little about that here.

We move onto Carver, who gave us, at this point, the most overt DeanCas season with season 8 (season gr8 is a better name imo), and this is the first time Dean and Cas’ relationship is directly written as an arc of the season.  I mean, you have everything in Purgatory, Dean “seeing” Cas everywhere, the fact that he felt so guilty that Cas stayed in Purgatory that he manipulated his own memories to think that he was the one that failed Cas, because he couldn’t comprehend that Cas would want to leave him, and let’s not forget Dean snapping Cas out of Naomi’s hold on him in “Goodbye Stranger.”  It was a very obvious shift, not enough to alert the general audience, but more than enough for most of us in fandom.

It’s also important to note that this is when Andrew stopped co writing with Loflin and started writing his own episodes (”Hunter Heroici” anyone?)  I like Loflin fine, but Dabb was able to stretch his legs a little bit more once he stopped co-writing, and we also began to see some DeanCas themes in his solo episodes.

In any case, them and their issues being a big part of the seasons continued with Carver, and Berens entered the scene, his first episode (”Heaven Can’t Wait”) is one of my favorites, with human Cas and the fanfiction gap and Dean and Cas just generally being awkward and funny and sweet.  This is Bobo’s FIRST episode, remember that.  He comes right out of the gate with it.

Also in Season 9, this is when Dean takes the Mark of Cain, and the Cas/Colette mirror is born, so obviously, Dean and Cas are the fabric of the season once again.  This is also the season where Metatron says Cas is “in love with humanity,” and then immediately refers to Dean as Humanity so uhhhh yeah.

Onto season 10, Dabb and Berens continue with their greatness (I could write pages on the DeanCas date in “The Things We Left Behind” alone).  And then we have one of the best scenes in the entire show in “The Prisoner” where the Cas/Colette mirror continues and Dean, driven by grief and pain and rage and the Mark, still doesn’t kill Cas.  He still can’t kill Cas.

Season 11 is important because it takes choice away from both Cas and Dean, and shows us, as the audience, how much losing each other takes out of them. We saw in season 10 how much losing Dean takes from Cas, but what about Cas losing Dean?  Dean loses his choice with his connection to Amara this season, and loses even more when Lucifer reveals he’s been possessing Cas, and plays on Dean’s connection to Cas like a mockery.  It’s also worth noting that, similarly to season 8, Dean breaks out of the connection with Amara when he’s worried about Cas, and that’s something that even SHE is surprised by.

But then season 12, the beginning to the Renaissance.  This is when we get the writer’s that become important for what Dean and Cas are today, and, truly, why I believe they want canon Destiel as much as we do.

This is the first season with Dabb’s writers: Davy Perez, Meredith Glynn, Steve Yockey, and of course Bobo all come in with their incredible talents and gave us episode after episode of good content.  “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets” is probably my favorite, probably the best example of what I’m saying.  An episode where Dean is called out by an enemy directly, told to “roll the dice” on Cas’ life.  And Dean won’t, it’s not even really a hesitation.  And this comes from a character that has known Dean for ten seconds.  I also wrote more in depth about this episode here.  There are also some.....distinctly domestic details we get this season, specifically in “The Future” (written by Berens and Glynn) with the mixtape.  The most tropey of tropes mixtape.  Yeah, I’ll just leave that one here.

And then season 12 ends with Cas’ death, but also with the parallel between Sam and Dean with Jess and Cas.  Sam literally has to drag Dean away from Cas, just like Dean had to drag Sam out of his burning apartment in the pilot.  The episode drives it home in every way that it can: Dean is the one left kneeling by Cas’ body, while Sam goes to find out what is upstairs.  Dean is the one who stares at the sky, finally broken.  This isn’t a random thing, this is Dean’s whole arc, it’s the entirety of the beginning of 13.  Dean’s pain, his anguish, his anger.

Season 13 starts with them burning Cas, with Dean, who has begged God to bring him back, who has split his knuckles punching a door, standing, staring at Cas’ pyre with brokenness on his face.

I mean.....

Anyway, season 13 is where it gets interesting (well, I think all of this is interesting but I’m a writer nerd so).  So Cas comes back from the Empty in “Advanced Thanatology” written by Steve Yockey, and then a wombo combo of “Tombstone” by Davy Perez next (���Brokebacknatural” as the PR said at the time).  Listen.  This is the part that SPN crossed a line that they couldn’t come back from.  With Cas being Dean’s “big win,” the fact that Dean and Cas watch movies together, “I told you, he’s an angry sleeper.  Like a bear.” Talked about it here.

This is where, in my opinion, the network stepped in, but the damage was already done.  They had already established that Cas was Dean’s big win, that Dean’s poor coping was not due to Mary’s disappearance, but solely due to Cas, and that Dean and Cas have more married energy than anyone else.  The network had nixed blatant canon at this point, and they writing room had been pushing the boundaries of what the network would allow. 

After these episodes, we see a marked drop off of DeanCas heavy scenes.  They’re still there, still a part of the fabric of the season, but not as...obvious as it had been in early season 13.

And this continued through season 14, we’re back to scraps of Destiel scenes here and there, but to me it always felt like there was something bubbling under the surface, something distinctly unsaid in the themes of the season, even after the walk back of obvious “Dean and Cas are in love” scenes.

And then we get to season 15, which, y’all know I talk about all the time.  What’s important here is that Bobo and Glynn are both executive producers, calling more of the shots than ever before.  Additionally, it’s important to note that, though they only co write occasionally, Glynn and Berens refer to each other as “work husband” and “work wife.”  Each episode has just turned up the volume, and, not for the first time, but certainly the most obvious, Dean and Cas ARE the season.  Sure, they’re trying to beat God, they’re trying to finally find peace, defeat the final big bad, but really?  This season has been about Dean, and Dean’s relationship to Cas.

And not only do we have obvious and clear Destiel in nearly every episode, but we have episodes like “Last Call” which canonize bi!Dean (wrote about that here).

And, maybe most importantly so far, we have “The Rupture,” the breakup, and “The Trap,” Dean’s confession (both written by Berens).  And here’s the thing.  These episodes feel connected, but also feel like they’re missing something.  Beren’s last episode is 15x18, “The Truth.”  We’ve all spec’ed about what could happen in this episode, and I think *I* know what it’s leading to.  But for it to be leading to that, it means that the network has to have approved what we’ve all been waiting for years for.

Who got this change to happen?  Who got the network to change their minds?  It wasn’t us.  It was them.  I am fully convinced that Dabb and Berens quite literally put their careers on the line for Dean and Cas.  They believe in them, they’ve shown that from the beginning, but the only thing standing in the way was the network, never allowing them to take the final step. 

So, to answer your question: I think the writers want canon DeanCas because they’ve already shown us that they do.  Take a look at their episodes, at Dabb’s, at Beren’s, at Glynn’s, at Perez’s, at Yockey’s.  They’ve been telling us what’s going on with Dean and Cas for years.

Sure, I’m not in their heads, I guess I don’t know for *sure* that this has been their thought process, but if we put it all together, from the marked shift when Dabb fully took over in s12, to the change right after “Tombstone,” to the new shift, the blatantly romantic shift in season 15, what else is there?

I’ve said for a long time that we, the SPN fandom, are beyond lucky to have the writer’s that we do.  They’re all going to go on to have prolific careers and we were lucky to get them at the end of our little show.  I give them a lot of credit for what we have in the show today.

Just remember, they’ve been telling us in all of s15 who Chuck is.  He says he’s the writer, right?  But a writer who doesn’t have control of his characters?  A writer who wants to do the same ending over and over because it “works”?  That doesn’t sound like a writer, it sounds like a network exec.

They’ve been showing us what they want for years, and the way s15 is going?  I think they may have convinced the network to let us have it.

[lol-jackles]

Today looking for something else I randomly came across the video of the cast’s reaction to the AKF candles and after reading all your YANA posts it’s like seeing it for the first time. Jared is visibly moved and speechless, but Jensen and Misha just kind of… sit there. And then Mark Sheppard stands up to clap and Jared does too and Jensen and Misha just… sit there. Looking vaguely annoyed. It’s so fucking weird in retrospect.

(link) 33:22 timestamp

First lets look at the context and lets be honest, it was a soft ambush. None of the cast knew what the sea of lights were and thought they were phone cameras and it was distracting to the point that Jensen cut his answer to a fan’s demon Dean question short. 

34:50 they were told “Always Keep Fighting”.  Mark stands up and Jared followed his lead, I always thought they had a mentor-student friendship while Jensen and Misha have a more prickly relationship with Mark. Nonetheless they clapped along, they weren't sitting on their hands.

35:10 a wannabe feminist asked an inane Charlie question to Carver that went on too long.

So you can see only 20 seconds passed for the cast to make a connection between the candles and AKF.

39:00 Jared receives the tea candle.

43:10 Jared reads the note that came with the candle explaining it’s purpose.  He waited while others finished answer a fan question.

52:15 Jared thanks the audience for their support. 

I think Jensen and Misha didn’t mean anything negative by not standing since everybody was caught off guard while Jared was following Mark’s lead.

With that said....now for the fun part.

Comic con panel was 07/13/2015.  Literally two weeks earlier on 06/29/2015, Stands LLC was registered and YANA was born.  Jared knew about YANA because Jensen probably told him so he had another AKF campaign coming up as part of his reclaiming strategy.   Can you imagine Jared seeing Misha for the first time since his breakdown and knowing YANA was the works?

Misha: oh, hi Jaybird.  You’re ....here.

Jared: yes.... I am.  What have you been up to lately?

Misha: oh, you know, reading scripts and... stuff.

Jared: yeah, what stuff?

Misha: oh, you know, uh....stuff.

Jared: uh huh, you like hearing about ....stuff.

Misha: what are you talking about?

Jared: what are you talking about?

Misha: *stare*

Jared: *stare*

Misha: I, huh,  won’t be at Nerd Headquarter this year.

Jared: because you got stuff to do?

Misha: *hurries away and see Jensen*  Hey we need to talk

Jensen: about what?

Misha: *see Jared in the distance* about, you know, you’re not alone thing.

Jensen: dude relax, Jaybird knows.

Misha: he what?!  You told him?!

Jensen: hang on I’m getting a text *see it’s from Jared*

Misha: I can’t believe you told him already!

Jared: *text* I’m not getting a matching jaybird tattoo with you

Jensen: *texting* Jay, babe, I thought we agreed already.

Jared: *texting* right there, the nickname.  Too many people knows that nick name.  Misha called me Jaybird just now.

Jensen: *texting* is that the real reason or is this from your therapist?

Jared: *texting* Come on dude.

Misha: *impatiently standing by*

And unbeknownst to him and Jensen a fan is video taping their awkward non-communication.*

*The tape exist and posted online and taken offline later, probably due to too many people having fun with it.

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2021 | Day 25: College AU

Kisses And Video Chats | @vampamber

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,098 Main Tags/Warnings: Cas comes from an overly religious family, long distance relationship, Christmas break Summary: Castiel feels pretty down, since his boyfriend Dean went home for winter break, while he was stuck in the dorms, waiting for the inevitably horrible Christmas with his homophobic family so that it'll be that much closer until Dean gets back. But thankfully, Dean was just a video chat away, and if anything can cheer Castiel up, it's Dean.

College days | @blueraven06

Rating: General Word Count: 1,167 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - College/University Summary: It's Castiel's first day of college and he is already late.

early bird gets the shaving foam revelation | @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2,282 Main Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Identity Crisis, Supportive Boyfriend Dean Winchester Summary: Cas clings harder, and his words end up muttered — and reasonably muffled, into Dean’s shirt. “I hate that guy.” Dean raises his eyebrows, belatedly realizing Cas can’t see them from being wrapped around him. “Huh?” “The guy I’m supposed to be.” Cas goes on, gritting his teeth. “Dean, I hate him. He makes my life miserable. And I — I’m just so tired.” And at that, Cas decides the point’s been made, and stops talking entirely, leaving Dean with little more to do than hold on. Well, and think.

Musical Chairs | @vampamber

Rating: General Word Count: 2,309 Main Tags/Warnings: ABO, alpha Dean, omega Cas, scenting, first meetings Summary: Dean didn't even want to take this freaking art history class in the first place, but once he gets there he's glad he did, because somebody smells really amazing. Too bad that somebody is also practically impossible to find. Pointless fluff because reasons.

Free Hugs | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2,611 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel/Dean Winchester , Meet-Cute, Alternate Universe - College/University, Embarrassment, Roommates, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language, Frottage Summary: Castiel is moving into his dorm for his first year when his older brother Gabriel trips him into the arms of a half-naked hunk holding a sign reading FREE HUGS. Then Cas meets his roommate...

A Little Party Never Killed Nobody | @vampamber

Rating: Mature Word Count: 3,540 Main Tags/Warnings: underaged drinking, top Dean, bottom Cas, drunk Cas, overly serious Cas, Seven Minutes In Heaven, frat boy Dean, frat party Summary: Castiel was only going to the frat party because his annoyingly extroverted friend Balthazar had promised to not force him into socializing for two entire weeks in exchange. He had no idea what to expect when he was shoved into a closet with an incredibly attractive stranger named Dean to play something called "Seven Minutes In Heaven". And apparently Dean had no idea what to expect afterwards.

I Bet You Don't | @verobatto

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7,636 Main Tags/Warnings: Genius AU, rivals to lovers, University AU, not actually unrequited love, top!Castiel/bottom!Dean Summary: Dean is a psychology and anthropology student and Castiel a biochemistry and Biophysics student. Both of them cold as an iceberg. Dean creates a club named THE NO-LOVE CLUB and makes a research including a bet to study human behavior and courtship. The bet is: THREE DATES WITH HIM TRYING NOT TO FALL IN LOVE. Of course he's the winner so far. And we have a lot of broken hearts. Until he breaks Anna Novak's heart, Castiel's little sister. Imagine two geniuses, one trying to defend his theory and the other trying to break it. Who will win the bet this time?

Christmas Morning on Halloween Night | @Shorty559

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10,886 Main Tags/Warnings: Homophobic language, breathplay, anal play, rough sex, Dom Castiel, bottom Dean Summary: Sam and Dean are college students where Sam befriends new student Castiel. Wanting to set his brother Dean up on dates never goes good, but Cas looks like he might be a nice fit. The Winchester brothers are throwing costume parties that lead into Halloween where everything changes for Cas and Dean.

The Shots We Don't Take | @a-mandala-rose

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 56,534 Main Tags/Warnings: Hockey Player Dean, Nerd Castiel, Sex/Strangers to Lovers, Homophobic Behavior (Not Cas or Dean), Briefly Described Violence, Injury/Hospital, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Switching, Happy Ending Summary: Still nursing the tatters of a broken heart and trying desperately to stave off the terror of his impending graduation, college senior Cas Novak decides it’s time to blow off a little steam. Not just any hook-up will do, however. The last thing Cas needs right now is a distraction. On the lookout for someone he can enjoy a steamy night of passion with before leaving them behind entirely, Cas thinks he’s found exactly what he needs in cocky university hockey star and well-known playboy Dean Winchester. Dean is gorgeous, doesn’t date, and is the singular most infuriating person Cas has ever met. He’s the perfect one night stand...that is, until Dean decides he wants an instant replay of what was supposed to be a one-time event. Will Cas’ offer of friends, sans benefits, convince the arrogant love ’em and leave ’em hockey defenseman to find an easier score? Or will Dean wear down Cas’ defenses and lure the sexy nerd in the dorky trenchcoat back to his bed?

Crashing (A.K.A. The Magic of Peppermint) | @lotsofquestionslimitedanswers

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 91,411 Main Tags/Warnings: mutual pining, angst with a happy ending, slow burn, implied/referenced self-harm, implied/referenced homophobia, death of an abusive parent, implied/referenced child abuse Summary: It’s the middle of Dean’s junior year of college and Dean had never paid much attention to fellow English-major Castiel Novak until they crash into each other at the Barnes and Noble on campus. The second Castiel’s coffee spills all over Dean, Dean can’t get the dorky English nerd out of his head. Chaos ensues.

Playing It Safe | @darknessbound3

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 160,544 Main Tags/Warnings: Top!Cas/Bottom Dean, BDSM Undertones, Roommates, College AU, First Meet, Gay Dean Winchester, Gay Castiel Summary: Fresh out of high school, Dean Winchester accepts a full ride to play football clear across the country. He barely glances at the name of the town, let alone anything else - he just needs to get the hell out of Hayward and move on with his life. He moves in with identical twins just off campus, and while one thinks he'll be the reason Dean sits the bench all year... the other apparently wants to drag Dean out of the closet ass-first. New town, new friends, new rules. Would it really be so bad if he left the old Dean behind?

The Closest Thing We Have to Magic | @ellen-of-oz

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 221,231 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe-College, Alternate Universe-Modern with Magic, College Professor Castiel, Graduate Student Dean, Slow burn, Enemies to friends to lovers, top Castiel/bottom Dean, top Dean/bottom Castiel, Minor Ruby/Sam, brief past Meg/Castiel Summary: Dean Winchester is a graduate student at Stanford University’s School of the Occult. A naturally-talented mage but a lazy professor and student, he figures he’ll coast through his final year the way he always has: with charisma, charm, and a natural aptitude for magic. All that changes when his thesis advisor, Dr. Castiel Novak, turns out to be the strictest and most challenging educator on-campus. Unfortunately for Dean, the uptight professor is nearly his age and infuriatingly gorgeous. But Castiel is keeping a secret, a powerful talent that’s more a curse than a blessing when he’s targeted by seditious parts of magical society. Can Dean and Cas put aside their animosity—and undeniable chemistry—long enough to instill real change in the magical community? Or will sinister plots and hidden agendas keep them apart?

[msgrumpygills]

Social Media Anon Here!

Firstly, never change Grumpy ;) you are probably the only person on Tumblr to LISTEN to another view and let it change a prejudice.

Secondly, the Padagram/Social Media change bus continues. Don't be fooled people will be looking at positive and negative reactions to that change on social media.

So here goes!

1. They are starting to market season 2 of Walker in Hiatus. That really doesn't happen. That means they know they need to target new viewers. They are acknowledging they have a problem. The main problem is Jared either didn't learn enough about production quality on SPN (Jensen/Misha were both more interested in behind the camera's) or that he thought he could stick a Stetson on and we all had such sh1t for brains we'd watch anything. So they need a viewer boost DESPARATELY and are going all out to (a) persuade Walkers remaining viewer(s) that it's worth sticking around and (b) get back old viewers or convert 1m+ viewers to season 2. So now we see all the cast (and Keegan has more followers than Jared and Lindsay has a VERY engaged following) trying to persuade their followers how fabulous Walker is. Expect this scrabbling to continue if they want their COVID paychecks.

2. Connected to 1, Jared has started trying to break out of the fandom bubble. I don't think he's trying for power couple (the clue in a power couple is that two FAMOUS people get together and create a super brand, here we have one niche C famous guy and a hanger on wife), I think we are in Jared profile raising and trying to raise his recognition score, which is probably a little low having half assed it in the last year and a half. He's doing it by scatter-gunning so I'm not sure it's going to stick.

3. Connected to 2,

(i) if I run my algorithm clean laptop with a "Jared Padalecki" news search, I get (a) a daily mail article on Jared "clarifying the rift" (b) a "hello" magazine saying he's been "inundated with support after death of "family member"" (c) the new york times article on Walker and Supernatural. It then goes into a variety of articles about Jared raising money for Holly's family (fucking atrocious in my view to use her death for publicity) and a series of derivative articles on his mantrum and later explanation. ONLY THE NEW YORK TIMES ARTICLE MENTIONS WALKER other than as a throw away, all of the others link to Supernatural only. Walker isn't on the main radar of anyone as a show. It's not mainstream enough to mention. it has ZERO buzz.

(ii) if I run the same search on my compromised tablet, I get a SEA of fluff articles "jared padalecki goes to venice", "jared padalecki's wife wishes him a happy birthday" "jared padalecki goes to watch soccer" "jared padalecki goes to the wrestling". I'm expecting "Jared Padalecki defecates regularly" tomorrow.

At the end of that I get the same articles as in (i) but the majority of his publicity is still going through the fandom and the, not very viewed, endless zine type websites that update on every episode of every geek show every day.

So we are seeing, and I expect it to continue, a break out Padalecki, (who knows he and his forehead may wish to have a final crack at films), and a fluff Padalecki, trying to stay relevant a year after SPN relevance ended, because he hasn't got the same push for season 2 of Walker as he had for season 1 and Walker has zero presence. No one, not even the fans are talking about Walker.

Will it work? I don't think so. Keegan has 7m followers on Insta and that's because he's a photographer and writer and it's interesting. I would follow his account (I don't), but certainly it isn't a Walker instagram.

Jared is a clever guy, but he's boring on social media. He has a limited appeal. He does family snaps, hunk snaps, flogs orange pee and flogs his show. He says "family" and "mantra" a lot but that's really it. The clue is, if you didn't know who he was and came across his instagram you wouldn't follow him. Why would you? For a video of a guy running up steps? A smug picture of two middle aged men trying to flog you something?... (oh and lots of "brother" comments on Keegan's social media, which is irritating. It's like he thinks that is his repeatable formula and it isn't).

His media approach won't work because advertising and exposure pushes a product. In TV's case, it's not a one off product and there is a lot of competition. Product Jared needs to be more interesting (his mantrum's are the only exciting thing about him - and that is tragic) and his TV show just needs to be BETTER, well, a LOT BETTER.

Soooo, expect the Padapush to continue, but it's not about a couple, it's about individual marketing and for Jared breaking out of SPN bubble. For Gen, it's her tag along profile that she'll never break out of. She'll have to be satisfied with her superpower of being able to persuade people to buy toothbrush's and dog food (if she can).

Expect though the couple's bit to die off a little. Jared is getting over exposed. His engagement rating is plummeting (nearly 3% is a plummet) because of the repetitive photo content. He'll have to back off or people will switch off (I have already). What makes me laugh is.... from the dawn of time when cavemen took their wives 2 miles away for a new cave weekend.... NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN INTERESTED IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOLIDAY SNAPS.... Gen and Jared apparently need to learn that lesson...

I might stop these posts now because, well, it's gotta be a bit boring for you and I write LONG. :)

Stay safe and wear your masks ;) xxx

I don’t want you to ever ever change, lovely! Also, I’m NEVER bored by your messages! You put so much effort into the research you do and the messages you send and it’s appreciated! <3 

I started following Lindsey on IG because she seems pretty genuine, and her cat is way too cute! Plus, I like her attitude. I haven’t followed her for the whole Walker season, but even she doesn’t post a lot about it. She posts interviews and then posts about that night’s episode, but other than that, nothing.  Can’t speak for Keegan, but how are fans and non-fans supposed to be excited about a show when the people STARRING in the show can’t be bothered? Maybe they’re all aware of how shitty it is or maybe they’re lazy, but it doesn’t make sense. 

I’m always interested to see the difference in an “algorithm-free” setting and one that has an algorithm. I always figured Google was the same for everyone, but seeing the difference in articles you’ve outlined is insane. It really just goes to show that Jared isn’t the star that his stans think he is. He’s not as important as they think he is, he’s just an actor.  It’s even more jarring to see just how little Walker is talked about at all. All of my devices probably have been “contaminated” when it comes to algorithm so I can’t really speak personally about the public and fans talking about Walker or not talking about it. I can say that on the posts about Walker from the Supernatural Facebook page, a good chunk of the comments are people saying they stopped watching, never got into it, or thought it was trash. There are only a handful of comments talking about how they enjoy the show. 

I think it was disgusting for him to use a fan’s passing for publicity. And no, I don’t think it was anything other than a PR stunt. Her family had a GFM going that was promoted by plenty of the case INCLUDING GEN, so you know he knew about it. But for him to make his own special one and then have articles posted everywhere about how charitable he is? That’s gross PR bullshit and I hope it backfires. 

I still follow a few Supernatural fans, Jared fans, Jensen fans, etc. on Tumblr and even they aren’t mentioning it. I think maybe the hardcore Jared stans post gifsets or whatever, but I don’t see much praise for the show itself, just Jared’s looks. Even the fans aren’t biting and that would make me reevaluate everything if I was Jared. 

I'm expecting "Jared Padalecki defecates regularly" tomorrow. This made me laugh way too hard!

who knows he and his forehead may wish to have a final crack at films You are on a ROLL!  Maybe I’ve become biased, but I can’t see Jared doing films. I mean, I could see him doing like a side character role or something small, but I can’t see him having a big part of a movie. Like I said, maybe that’s me being biased but I see him staying in TV. I could be proven wrong, but I don’t know. 

I agree about Jared being boring on SM. I used to get some giggles from his Twitter posts and even some of his early IG posts because they were goofy, clever, and candid. It showed his humor and was more personable. Now it’s just all fake and comes off as someone whose only motivation to engage with fans is money and that’s a big turn off. 

For me personally, I think that if instead of the “couple goals” bullshit that they try to push for their lavish trips, if they just posted cool pictures they took of different locations, activities, food or whatever, that would be more palatable than all the “Look at my hubster and I! We’re in Italy! Look at how in love we are!” But maybe that’s because I’ve become a bit of a photography nerd? 

I guess time will tell whether or not Jared will make positive changes and if Walker can be saved, but I’m not really optimistic about it. 

I AM optimistic about your takes on things so keep them coming! Long posts or not, I love them! <3

[myhumanweakness]

Can you guys just cry with me for a minute about how serendipitous Destiel is? The story of Destiel in the SPN universe truly mirrors the story of Destiel in our universe. Here’s how:

In 15x17, we saw God say this:

Their universe’s Castiel has been the only one ever to rebel against Heaven infinitely to stay with Dean [and Sam]. Cas defied God and His plan not once but over and over again because he was so affected by Dean. 

In 15x18, we saw Castiel admit that he was in love with Dean. And in doing so we find out that Castiel has always been in love with Dean, even when he didn’t know it. He literally says that ever since the day he pulled Dean from Hell, he’s been changed. 

So, putting these two things together we reach the conclusion that out of the hundreds of thousands (possibly millions) of iterations of Castiel and hundreds of thousands of iterations of Dean, this is the one and only universe where they fell in love. And more than that, this is the one and only universe where the act of them falling in love disarmed God. 

I’ve been crying about how beautiful and perfect these last few episodes have been in confirming our years of speculation and hope. But, today my academic brain kicked in and I remembered something that I don’t think a lot of people have realized yet. 

Let’s examine Castiel in our universe. Eric Kripke created a show about two brothers that hunted monsters. When the storyline called for the addition of a new element, he landed on “angel.” Not a stretch considering they talked about angels (loosely) prior to Castiel’s arrival on the show. But does anyone remember this?

So, Eric Kripke chose Castiel’s name out of all of the other angel names because he googled “Angel of Thursday.” And even in 15x17 God confirmed that Castiel is the “... self-hating Angel of Thursday.” But you know what guys, Castiel isn’t the Angel of Thursday. Castiel (Cassiel) is the Angel of Saturday. 

So, Eric Kripke googled something and based one of Supernatural’s most important and pivotal characters off of incorrect information. Obviously he didn’t know at the time that Castiel was going to be such an important character. Do you understand how wild that is? The show has a whole slew of writers and researchers that diligently try to remain true to lore and biblical text. Obviously there are some exceptions, but especially in the Judeo-Christian sense, the show does a bang up job of sticking to the script. So it was funny to me when I reexamined the literature and found out that Cas is “out of character” insofar as to say that he does not follow the written word of God/Enoch. 

Isn’t that freakin’ beautiful? That even in our universe Castiel exists as this as a rebel from what he was created/predestined to be?

But even more than that, this particular Dean and this particular Cas could have potentially never even been “Dean and Cas” at all if Eric Kripke had not named a character after the “wrong” angel. But Castiel was always the right angel. Castiel was always the commander of an army. Castiel was always the angel that fell in love with the righteous man**. 

**note. I’m still scanning the biblical/quasi-biblical literature to find the source that this idea came from.

If you’ve never read the Book of Enoch (and why the hell would you cause you’re probably not a psycho religion nerd like me), I want to show you how Enoch learns about the Righteous Man: 

I love this passage because it is Enoch explaining how an angel sees the righteous man. A person that resembled a man, but he was full of grace much like that of an angel. And he was chosen by God himself for this role. 

I’m saying all of this basically to show that the show has so many talented people that research canonical religious literature to inform their storylines and plot details. And this one particular error was this wild catalyst for Misha coming onto the show, the audience falling in love with Misha/Castiel, the audience picking up on this strong and unique connection between Dean and Castiel, the evolution of Dean and Catiel’s relationship, Dean and Castiel falling in love subtextually, to the fandom being adamant about their love for each other, to the writers on the show building that into the plot line of the story to highlight the miracle and rarity of this connection coming to fruition and the influence it had/has, to Castiel admitting that he’s in love with Dean. 

This wildfire that we call Destiel started because of a small spark- a crack in this chassis- in our universe that permeated into the SPN universe, making Destiel undoubtedly the most beautiful, profound, cosmic, greatest love story ever written. 

[waywardnerd67]

TFWB - Chap 26 Family Gathering

Summary: The family gathers together for a long overdue celebration. Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins, Rachel Sanderson (OFC), Molli Sanderson (OFC), Reader Pairing: Jensen x Reader / Jared x Rachel (OFC) / Misha x Molli (OFC) Warnings: Fluff/AU Word Count: 1010 Squared Filled: Free Space A/N #1: This is for @spnfluffbingo​ card

Check out: The Family We Built Masterlist

The music was thumping throughout the old barn. Laughter could be heard echoing through the cool night air. Drinks were being passed around along with slices of cake. (Y/N) was sitting on the back of an old Chevy pick up watching all the members of her family having a wonderful time.

“You know the Bride is supposed to be in there dancing and drink the night away.” Rachel hopped up on the truck next to her with a bottle of champagne.

“Move over sis, I’m joining the bridal party.”

Molli sat next to Rachel as the three of them passed the bottle between them. They watched the guests dancing and the kids starting to fall asleep at various tables.

“I never thought this day would finally come. It took you two so damn long to get together then two years to get married. Talk about your slow burn.” Rachel chuckled, taking a drink then passing it to Molli.

She took a drink, “I lost five bucks to Misha saying we would be married before them.”

“Alright, alright. I’m married now and if you remember we had to postpone our original wedding date because Jensen released another book. Then another Padababy came along.”

Rachel stole the bottle from her, “Once again, Jared’s little soldiers are just too strong for any kind of resistance.”

“Ugh!” (Y/N) and Molli groaned.

“Fellas, I do believe our ladies have decided to have their own little party without us.” Jared climbed over the side of the truck sitting behind Rachel.

Misha stood between Molli’s legs while Jensen helped (Y/N) off the truck, “Oh yeah. Rachel was just telling us all about Jared’s little soldiers breaking down her defenses.”

“(Y/N)!” Rachel yelled as Jensen led her away from the group laughing hysterically.

“Where are we going handsome?”

He was leading her out past their barn into the middle of their empty land. They had decided to move out from Austin thirty minutes to the west in Dripping Springs. Jensen had a house built for them that included having a barn with the intent of one day having some animals on their land.

He wrapped his arms around her waist resting his chin on her shoulder, “Remember, the first conversation we ever had on this property?”

***

“What do you think?” He asked as they stood in the middle of hundred acres of land.

“I think it’s perfect. The house could be over there and a path to a barn. One day we could have horses and goats.” She wrapped her arms around his waist as they looked out over the land.

Jensen pointed to a large tree, “I could build a treehouse there for when we have kids.”

She sucked in a breath stepping away from him. It was a conversation she had been trying to build up the courage to talk to him about and never finding the right time. Seemed life created a moment pushing her to tell him the only secret she ever kept from him.

“Jensen, about that…” she started as he started to walk towards the tree.

He chuckled, “Pretty girl, we don’t have to have the kid conversation yet. Let’s get through the house build and the wedding whenever they may happen. We can just keep on practicing to baby making steps.”

“There’s something I need to tell you that… that could make you change your mind about the whole house and marriage thing.”

He stopped turning towards her, “There is nothing you could say that would make me change my mind. I want to spend the rest of my life with you no matter what.”

“I can’t have children.” Saying the words out loud held such a finality for her.

“W-What?”

The tears she was trying to hold back fell down her cheeks, “My body doesn’t produce the eggs to have children. If… if you marry me then we will never have our own children.”

Looking up, her heart broke seeing the disappointment in his eyes. She should have told him way before now but she did not want to admit she was broken, damaged goods.

“You mean when I marry you.” Jensen reached out taking her hand and pulling her to him, “Where that news is shocking and I’m going to need some time to process that. There is no question as to if I’m going to marry you. It’s only a question of when I’m going to marry you.”

(Y/N) could not believe what she was hearing, “You’re really okay with never having your own biological children?”

“Will you be in my life?” She nodded, “Then yes, I am okay with not having my own kids.”

A sob escaped her lips as she hugged him tightly, “You’re truly an amazing man.”

***

“Yes, I do. Why?” She turned in his arms clasping her hand behind his neck.

“During our honeymoon in Europe, I would like to begin the process of adopting a child from the Ukraine. I’ve already started the process here but we had to be married before going over there.”

(Y/N) stood there stunned as Jensen nervously chewed on his bottom lip, “Say something.”

“Just when I think you can’t possibly surprise me with something, you do. Yes. Yes, yes, yes!”

Jensen picked her up and twirled her around, “Oh my god, I was terrified to ask you about it. I love you.”

“I love you too. Now let’s go tell the rest of our family.”

They walked back to the barn where Jared, Rachel and their two kids along with Misha, Molli and Zalyn were all huddled together outside.

“Everyone, we would like to tell you something.” Jensen announced catching all of their attention.

(Y/N) smiled widely, “We’re going to adopt a child!” Everyone started cheering and hugging them.

That is when their photographer came by asking to take their picture together, “One, two, three, Family!”

“Family!”

That was exactly what they were. Not by blood or by marriage, but a family they chose. A family they built.

The End

If you enjoyed this story then check out my Masterlist!

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