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briangroth27 · 6 years ago

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Incredibles 2 Review

I absolutely loved Incredibles 2! It's a great time at the movies and definitely worth the 14-year wait. I was initially skeptical of it picking up seconds after the original, but I think the story threads here—particularly Jack-Jack's (Eli Fucile, Nick Bird) development and the Anti-Super laws—needed to be dealt with onscreen rather than off. I liked that they reversed the structure of the first movie and had Helen (Holly Hunter) go off on the adventures while Bob (Craig T. Nelson) stayed at home to watch the kids. Even better, this switch was rooted in statistical facts that Elastigirl was the most effective and efficient hero between herself, Bob, and Frozone (Samuel L. Jackson). Since so much of her Elastigirl persona was left in the past in the original movie because she’d moved on in life while Bob hadn’t really, showing Helen truly loving her work and being great at it was a perfect moment that let us see a whole new side to her. Seeing Helen so overjoyed at getting to be a hero again—and being great at it, with no collateral casualties—was excellent! It was also nice to see that she had detective skills; a good contrast to Bob smashing his way through problems (and which have probably have helped her deduce what her kids are up to over the years!). That her heroic competence was truly valued outside her family circle and by the people who wanted to use her to push their politics Bob Odenkirk, Catherine Keener) was a genuine and welcome surprise; I'd love to see more female heroes respected and revered the way Elastigirl is here. Bob playing Mr. Mom was a lot of fun, even if I’m more than ready for a competent parenting duo instead of the always-effective mom and the cliché overwhelmed dad. That said, Bob’s battle with Dash's (Huck Milner) new math, Violet's (Sarah Vowell) teenage angst, and Jack-Jack's terrible toddling was extremely relatable and a great change from the superhero midlife crisis we saw in the original. I enjoyed Bob’s playful ego about being the better hero in his marriage and loved that it was balanced by genuinely caring that Helen had the space to do what she needed to do. That sort of loving/selfish balance is an extremely difficult line to walk but the writing and acting totally pull it off without making him unlikable (and it's not even hinted or implied that Helen is in any way selfish either). It was especially sweet of Bob not to tell Helen what was going on with the family not because he didn't want to come off as incompetent, but because he knew she'd stop her mission. Yes, he benefits from her completing it, but I fully believe that he also wants the better future for his kids that Helen can secure. I would've liked to see more of Dash and Violet in general, and particularly their school lives. Dash has homework trouble and Tony (Michael Bird), the boy Violet made a date with, forgets her (a cool example of superhero lives wreaking havoc on civilian ones as well as the law affecting the Parrs in an unexpected way), but the Anti-Super laws would've been stronger if we'd seen the kids’ lack of choice Bob talks about. Violet wanting to be normal and Dash being "defined as a person" by heroism does play out that choice, but we don't really get to see consequences of the laws in terms of impacts on the kids. Does having to come in second place in track rankle Dash? And if he's defined by being a hero, how does he feel about having to hide at school? Is anyone suspicious of his speed? Does Dash have to fight to control himself when confronted by bullies that openly hate Supers? By teachers who preach that Supers are bad and should be illegal? Playing up the questionable aspects of the first movie's ending—is he cheating by using his speed, even for second place? How is not living up to his potential affecting his development?—would've built up a lot more pressure on the need to make Supers legal again. Violet hating being a Super made her a good proponent for not being legalized, though I would’ve liked more of that as well. How much of her tragic love life is really angst about not being able to be herself? Maybe she could’ve gotten involved with a student organization to keep Supers illegal, pitting her against her mom’s efforts. What if she discovered another Super kid at school and was forced to choose between outing them or letting them stay hidden? Might she find that pretending to be normal at school is simply boring or stifling her in ways she doesn’t want to admit? That said, I loved what we did get from Dash and Violet and absolutely dug Jack-Jack's awakening powers! The idea that Super babies often have multiple abilities is a very cool metaphor for kids having unlimited potential and it also made for a lot of fun, varied action scenes. His battle with a raccoon was highly entertaining and his unexpected bond with Edna Mode (Brad Bird) was a brilliant twist! Edna discovering a role as a loving aunt was as hilarious as it was heartwarming and a great way to reveal a new dimension of her character. Frozone is always a welcome addition and it was great to see more of him here, both as a "rebel" with Bob and Helen trying to get the Anti-Super law reversed, as a protective uncle to the Parr kids, and finally a hypnotized enemy. I’d like to finally meet his wife Honey (Kimberly Adair Clark) though. It's beyond time she was more than just a nagging influence taking the joy out of his superheroics (though I like that she knows her worth!). I really hope she’s also a retired Super so we can see what the two of them are like outside of their home. Or, it would’ve been easy to make her a Lois Lane-type figure, so she could cover Helen’s return to prominence and at least get a moment of bonding with her. Either of those options would be great and I’d like to see their relationship explored somewhere. I knew who Screenslaver (Bill Wise) was almost immediately, but that didn’t lessen my love for this character at all. The hypnotism was a spooky and old-fashioned angle that felt totally fresh and fit the retro-futurist world of The Incredibles perfectly! Screenslaver also managed to comment on modern concerns about social media obsession, which was a nice bit of relatability (just like Bob and Dash's struggle with new math) while remaining rooted in the films’ era, when TVs were the hip new thing everyone was obsessed with. Screenslaver was a creepy, cool villain who topped Syndrome for me. I just wish his argument—that people were getting lazy and becoming too dependent on Supers—was more explored with examples of people being "less" because of superheroes (beyond hearing about a death caused by waiting on one). Maybe Screenslaver should’ve been saved for a movie set after the law against Supers was lifted, but slightly clearer examples of his point here would’ve worked just as well. I feel like his argument would be stronger if we got to see Supers making things too easy or if more people were put in peril because they waited for Supers to fix their problems instead of the big argument against heroes being the collateral damage their fights cause. That said, I absolutely loved this villain and would definitely be down for a Screenslaver return! Underminer (John Ratzenberger) was also a cool, second-tier villain that felt like a classic comic book bad guy. He's clearly patterned off of Mole Man, but that didn't matter to me; it was kinda refreshing (and appropriately old-school, given these movies’ time period) to see a villain who just wanted to rob banks. He also provided a good way to reintroduce the family's heroic dynamic and to showcase Bob and Helen's different fighting styles while complicating their lives further, building off the end of the first movie brilliantly. I liked that it became a strike against the heroes that he was forgotten in the scramble to stop his drills and that he actually got away. The new Supers that were introduced didn't make the biggest impression, but I preferred this to more focus on a bunch of random new people who would take screentime from the Parrs. I did like Voyd (Sophia Bush) a lot; her fangirl attitude toward Elastigirl was fun and she was a nice answer to Syndrome's toxic fandom. I hope she returns in a sequel! Krushauer (Phil LaMarr) was a solid threat and got some good and funny lines in, while Screech playing up his full animalistic nature was creepy and something I hope Daredevil does with Owl Jr. These wannabe Supers did bring a variety of challenges to the final battle, so as secondary adversaries go, they worked perfectly. All the fight scenes contained very clever uses of everyone’s powers and were choreographed with an insane amount of fun and imagination! The numerous powers on display also made for battles that were never uninteresting. Even Bob's Incredibile got a nice showcase here as a display of the retro tech in this universe. I love the design of this world in general, but classic spy and superhero aesthetics like that are my favorite parts; I wish more superhero franchises would embrace stylized elements like this to carve out their own identities. Speaking of classic aesthetics, I loved that Bob, Helen, and Lucius had their own old-timey superhero theme songs! Michael Giacchino’s music was great as always, but those themes were great surprises! Brad Bird's direction was crisp and the writing emotionally resonate, bringing the heart of the first movie back at full force. I can't wait to see what comes next from this world! I hope we don't have to wait another 14 years for Incredibles 3 (and I didn't need the apology/”trust us the wait was worth it” video that played at the beginning of this one; it only made us wait longer!), but I definitely want to see more adventures in this universe. Now that Supers are allowed again, I’d love for the next movie to introduce Dash and Violet's trouble-making cousins as wannabe supervillain bad influences. Cousins would bring aunts and uncles who have differing parenting styles from Bob and Helen, as well as Bob and Helen’s in-laws, who have their own opinions on how to “correctly” be heroes as well as parents. I'm thinking Christmas Vacation with superheroes, but whatever the next film is, I'll be in line to see it! While we wait, you should see Incredibles 2! It's among Pixar's best and definitely worth seeing on the big screen!

Check out more of my reviews, opinions, and original short stories here!

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gascon-en-exil · 7 years ago

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A Not Actually Definitive Ranking of Fire Emblem Games

So after a lot of deliberation I’ve decided not to revisit last year’s Zelda ranking project on a full scale for FE, but that doesn’t mean it’s not something I really wanted to do. 2018 is the year we’re going to get alternatively hyped for and disappointed by FE16, after all. With that in mind have an abbreviated list that will end up being one very long post. I’ve got games to gush over and an anon or two (and very likely actual followers…eep) to piss off, so here we go.

The “personal favorites of the series, love revisiting them” Tier - FE10, FE2/15, FE4

I’m never going to argue that Radiant Dawn is a perfect game or even just a perfect FE game, but damned if it doesn’t manage to do so much right all at once. An extremely ambitious story that builds off its mostly conventional predecessor in a variety of interesting ways, deconstructing a bunch of series narrative standards (life in a defeated country kind of sucks and there are people that don’t warm that quickly to young and inexperienced rulers, go figure) and taking an eleventh hour hard right at Nietzchean atheism as read by a Pride parade. Kind of falls on its ass by the end, but every experimental FE story does the same thing so I can’t fault this one. I love the army switching as motivation to try different units almost as much as I love the oh-so-exploitable growth and BEXP mechanics. Its Easy mode also hits a sweet spot for me of being challenging enough to not be a complete snore while also allowing the freedom for all manner of weird self-imposed challenges that don’t even require grinding. By all accounts Hard mode is one lazy design choice after another, but I don’t play at that level so no complaints here.

Never played Gaiden, but to its credit around half of the unique gameplay mechanics I like in Shadows of Valentia were also in the original: the modest army size, the novel approaches to inventory management and magic, the pretty basic class system with just a hint of nuance. The remake threw in some hit-or-miss questing, dungeon exploration, and achievements, but all the rest was either a solid addition or a continuation of NES-era annoyances that I could live with. And the story…SoV makes me dislike the DS games even more just because this game does so much with so little. Even leaving aside the mostly great voice acting there’s a bunch of new content that characterizes almost everybody and makes half of them (the men, anyway, because this is a remake of a Kaga-era game and therefore misogynistic as can be) gay because why the hell not, and then some development that constitutes the only solid attempt at worldbuilding Archanea-Valentia-Ylisse has ever really gotten and also retcons some stuff from Awakening into making sense. It’s even got some solid DLC with lots of character stuff for the Deliverance, the least sucky grinding of the 3DS games, and probably the only context in which I’ll ever be able to comment on anything from Cipher.

No remake needed for Genealogy of the Holy War to make it competitive with the rest of the top tier - just an excellent translation patch and the standard features of an emulator. I’ve never watched Game of Thrones and probably don’t plan on it, but I gather that this game provides the same essential experience with less blood and female nudity and marginally more egalitarianism for all. I can forgive it for being the original Het Baby Fest since you’d be hard-pressed to find a single entirely healthy and well-adjusted individual anywhere on Jugdral and I relate to that just as much. Screwed up family dynamics for everyone! It’s also arguably got a more fun breeding meta than either of the 3DS games, lacking Awakening’s optimization around a single postgame map with very specific parameters or Fates’s high level of balance that ironically stymies analysis. This is another game for interesting inventory management and unit leveling that isn’t too obnoxious, which mostly makes up for the maps taking an eon to play through even with an emulator speeding through those enemy phases. This would be a strange game to remake, but if it got a localized one of the same caliber as SoV I fully acknowledge that this could climb to the #2 spot. SoV would probably have the queer edge though unless they do some strange things to the plot or just make Gen 2 really gay…but then again Gen 2 is the part that’s more in need of fleshing out as it is. (Also, this game has So. Much. Incest. That’s not even really a kink of mine especially as it’s all straight incest, but I just find that hilarious in light of how Tumblr’s purity culture speaks of such things.)

The “good games, but don’t come back to them as much” Tier - FE7, FE9, FE8

Blazing Sword is not here for nostalgia purposes, especially since when I first played the game at 14 years old most of what I like about it didn’t really register. It was just that game with RPG elements that I liked and permadeath that I didn’t, and it took a few games after that for me to become an established fan of the franchise. Massive props for putting such an unconventional spin on a prequel to a textbook FE; this is a game in a series about war in which no war is fought, how crazy is that? We actually get to see the backstory of FE6′s tragic antagonist, even as it’s completely tangential to the plot of this game and so just feels like random Jugdral-esque family drama without context, and on top of that we get the first hints of interdimensional travel and kinky human/shapeshifter sex several years before either of those became controversial talking points about how they were ruining the series. I am so there. Lyn doesn’t matter to the saga, but her character arc is distinct and self-contained and also she picked up a disproportionately large fanbase while being bisexual and biracial so go her. Eliwood is sympathetic and homosocially-inclined even if his growths frequently make me want to cry (at least he gets a horse unlike his similarly-challenged son), and I can live with Hector even if I could have done without his lordly legacy. Throw in some average-for-the-time gameplay with just enough variety across the two routes and even more good character work *waves at Sonia and Renault and Priscilla -> Raven/Lucius and Serra and…* and it’s all in all a solid experience. The ranking system can go die in a fire though, which funnily enough it did after this game. Yay!

Like most early 3D games - except on Gamecube so it’s even more embarrassing - Path of Radiance has aged terribly by every aesthetic measure aside from the soundtrack. It’s also painfully slow, and my computer can’t run Dolphin apparently so an emulator’s not going to fix that for me. Those obvious flaws aside, it’s still an entertaining game, and more importantly it’s the prologue that had the crucial task of setting up all the pins RD knocked over in stellar fashion, whether we’re talking about the basic storyline that actually isn’t or the many het relationship fake-outs (more so in localization…I guess we’ll never know if NoA was actively planning that when they pushed Ike/Elincia like they did). PoR is also a love letter to Jugdral in both gameplay and themes, albeit an occasionally critical one. The jury’s still out on whether Jugdral or Tellius succeeds the most (fails the least?) of the FE settings at developing a complete world with a nuanced and resonant saga narrative, but that Tellius manages to be competitive while being kind of clumsy overall with racism and shifting the series’s overarching motif of dragon-blooded superhumans to one of kinky interracial sex is pretty impressive. The less I say about Ike the better since it’s only his endings in RD that save him for me; suffice it to point out that his worldview and general personality were clearly designed to appeal to a demographic that does not include me.

And finally comes The Sacred Stones, truly my average benchmark FE as I like it but struggle to have any particularly strong feelings on it one way or the other. The story is standard but has a few intriguing quirks, like the light vs. dark magic meta, surprise necrophilia, and how the main antagonist’s sexuality sort of depends on which route you take (except he’s still never getting laid so does it really matter?). It also seems to have been the first game to have made a legitimate effort toward the kind of replayability that’s normal for RPGs, what with the branched promotions, the route split, and the actual postgame. That’s all much more engaging than just filling up a support log. The gameplay is also more polished and (I think?) more balanced than the other GBA games, if one is willing to overlook the minor issue of Seth. Let’s see…something something twincest that’s now an IS running gag, something something guys talking intimately about their lances, something something SoV did the whole dungeon crawling with monsters bit better but I can forgive SS for not taking it that far. Moving on….

The “they have Problems” Tier - FE14, FE13

Probably qualifies as a fandom heresy, but yes I’m putting Fates first of these two. Fates is in every conceivable way for me the “You Tried” game, because I had such high hopes for it from the moment we got the earliest promotional content. I was expecting a World of Warcraft-style conflict between two morally grey factions with myriad convoluted grievances against each other messily resolving themselves one way or the other according to player choice (though note that this is already somewhat damning with faint praise as no one’s going to call WoW a storytelling masterpiece), with Conquest in particular a true villain campaign that I imagined might play out as European Imperialism: The Game. What we actually got was…not that, not at all, but amid all the complaints about plot holes and idiot balls and moral myopia most fans seem to have forgotten just how much there is to this game. It’s three full stories that together average out to be just about passable, with possibly the biggest gameplay variety in the series that fixed most of Awakening’s more broken elements (pair-up, children being unquestionably superior to the first generation) while also adding in new features that undoubtedly appealed to someone or other like Phoenix mode and the castle-building aspect. I can even mostly forgive the obvious growing pains Fates exhibits in terms of queer content, as they were pretty much inevitable once the developers realized that (almost) everyone was picking up on the subtext and that that approach just wasn’t going to cut it anymore. Again, they tried, and if the results included face-touching fanservice and plot contrivances left and right and two-way cultural posturing that inevitably crosses over into real world racism at some point I can still step back for a moment and acknowledge that Fates began as a distinctive, high-concept setting on par with Tellius and Jugdral that was willing to do something different with the narrative norm (for two of its routes at least, and even so I’m not begrudging Birthright its conventionality because that grounding is important overall). And who knows? Maybe a later game will come along and retroactively make this setting coherent.

Fates might have more sexual fanservice, but if there’s any FE that I feel ends up a slave to fanservice in a broader sense it would be Awakening. Yeah, I get that when it was in development everyone thought this would be the final game, so it makes sense that the finished product turned out to be a nostalgia-laden greatest hits piece. It’s still hard to forgive Awakening for feeling so insubstantial, doubly so since it ended up revitalizing the franchise and now it and Fates are everywhere. It’s got a plot that only makes some sense in light of SoV and possibly on a meta level (following my theory that the plot structure is meant to mirror FE1-3 in sequence), the first iteration of an Avatar dating game heavily coloring the characterization and support system, and a queasily feel-good atmosphere that allows almost no character to actually remain dead and centers everything around the self-insert and the power of friendship. So much for the series’s traditionally dim view of human nature and recurring theme of the inevitability of conflict. What’s more, in spite of its theoretically broad scope (including a criminally under-explored time travel plot with a bad future) and numerous call-backs to older games Awakening does surprisingly little for developing the series’s most frequently-visited setting. I think it was in large part how generic this game has always felt to me even before release that I never got very hyped for it and as a consequence was never very disappointed by it. It’s just….there, with its nostalgia and its chronic “no homo” and its host of hilariously broken mechanics. I wonder if we’d have ended up viewing Awakening more favorably if it really had been the last game? Eh, probably not.

The “needs a remake or needs a better remake” Tier - FE5, FE6, FE3/12, FE1/11

I don’t have a specific order for these, except that FE1/11 is almost certainly the bottom since 5 and 6 have remake potential and, lack of localization aside, New Mystery was a better remake than Shadow Dragon.

I still haven’t fully played Thracia 776, but I’ve watched and read through Let’s Plays and have read more than enough analysis and meta on the game to where I can definitively say that I wouldn’t enjoy playing it too much and don’t feel all that emotionally connected to the story except insofar as it relates to the overall Jugdral saga. The concept of a standard FE plot that ends with the playable cast losing is an intriguing one, though they really could have done better than the weird non-ending that is this game’s final boss. I’m also not as invested in Leif the fallen aristocrat as I usually am those types of characters, possibly because it’s a foregone conclusion that he eventually gets his kingship anyway. I would like a remake, hopefully one that smooths over some of the original’s mechanical roughness and also makes a bunch of characters gay because the material’s certainly there in places, but I also admit that I’d rather have a remake of Genealogy first. Or, for that matter….

Binding Blade doesn’t have the potential for an amazing story-driven remake that Thracia does; after all, it’s basically a soft reboot of FE1 with an equally bland lord saved by his Super Smash Bros. fanbase and possibly his weirdly large harem. That said, there’s a fair amount of character potential and worldbuilding opportunities what with the series’s first true support system and the content of its unorthodox prequel. Even by itself I feel like BB does more to sell Elibe as its own distinctive world than any of Marth’s games ever did for Archanea, and that’s even with the reality that like the Archanea games this playable cast is inflated with some really forgettable characters (that seem to have followed a semi-rigid numerical quota by class in this instance. It’s weird.). This game never really stuck in my mind as a good playable experience either, not helped by the fact that it feels simple and antiquated compared not only to the GBA games that followed it but to the Jugdral games that preceded it. Good on them for throwing out some of Thracia’s more unwieldy mechanics, but did they have to throw out skills, hybrid classes, and varied chapter objectives too? The space limitations of the GBA couldn’t have been that severe.

While I’ve been spending much of this post ragging on Archanea, I will say that (New) Mystery of the Emblem has some interesting character beats, like the resolution of the Camus/Nyna/Hardin tragedy, Rickard and the situationally bisexual(?) Julian, and some of the antics of Marth’s retainers. I did like bits of the remake’s new assassin plot even if most of it is cribbed from the Black Fang; Eremiya’s no Sonia, but Clarisse and Katarina have their moments. Also, Kris isn’t that offensive to me since I was never all that engaged in Marth’s inconsistent personality and from what I’ve seen his/her supports don’t all devolve into a dating sim. New Mystery has a broader array of characters than either the original or the previous remake, without requiring the player to kill off characters just to get some of the new ones. That said, the reclassing in the DS games is still broken and allows the player to strip even more character out of their personality-deprived units. I’m getting to the point where I’m having trouble separating the two actually, so I’ll just go ahead and remark that I think everyone can agree that Shadow Dragon is the worst of the three remakes so far, with no supports, the aforementioned killing of units, a prologue that adds to the story but only exists on Normal mode and also requires you to kill someone off (seriously, what is it with this game? Is it commentary on the necessary sacrifices of war that they tried forcing on the player for one game until they realized it was a terrible idea?), the needless removal of features from earlier games like rescuing even as others like weapon ranks and forging were left in, that first clumsy iteration of reclassing, and little to nothing that I can see as elevating the story above the standard fantasy adventure fare of Dark Dragon and the Sword of Light that might have been good in 1990 but didn’t look so hot in 2008. Archanea just feels so lifeless overall compared to every other setting in the franchise, to the point where I don’t even feel that guilty about putting the first game in the series way down at the bottom when over in the Zelda ranking I raised the NES games above ones I found more fun to play solely because of their historical significance. Isn’t FE1 arguably the first tactical RPG? I feel like I should appreciate it more, but I just can’t. *shrugs*

#Fire Emblem #Mostly serious but not entirely

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girlonfilmmovies · 5 years ago

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New Classics: Universal Soldier - Day of Reckoning (2012)

“Would you like to be free from pain?”

The Universal Soldier series was never the blockbuster franchise its producers so desperately wanted to be. Even the original 1992 entry felt like a decade too late when it appeared, a warmed over mish-mash of post-Vietnam fears and cornball sci-fi that’s only remembered for Dolph Lundgren’s delirious villain and Jean Claude Van Damme’s naked buns. By the second, Van Damme was already phoning it in and Lundgren’s charming psychopath was nowhere to be found. Eventually the rights were swept up in the late 2000s, presumably to be relegated to the same dollar-bin garbage that keeps pumping out unnecessary z-tier sequels to forgotten fare like Behind Enemy Lines or The Marine. Yet John Hyams, son of director Peter Hyams of 2010, Outland, and Timecop fame/infamy, had other plans.

While on paper 2009′s Universal Soldier: Regeneration sounds like any other cheap action film shot on whatever Eastern European backlot that will stretch every dollar in their budget, Hyams showcased a natural talent for shooting action that many of his rivals lacked. Especially in the post-Bourne era, an action film that isn’t cut within an inch of comprehension seems like a wonderful breath of fresh air. Bringing back a freshly rehabbed Van Damme and an always hard-working Lundgren certainly helped too. So what to do after achieving a mild success with a mostly forgotten C-tier action franchise? John Hyams certainly had a bold idea: throw everything related to the series in the trash and turn it into a two hour arthouse horror film, complete with hallucinogenic freakouts, nightmarish atmosphere, and some of the most brutal action put to film.

To be fair, he didn’t jettison all aspects of the franchise, although you won’t miss much by going in fresh. He keeps the core concept of the “universal soldier”, a government program that revives deceased soldiers and uses them (under mind control) for their own dirty work which usually goes horrifically wrong every time. He also brings back Van Damme and Lundgren’s respective characters, though now with entirely different personalities and motivations (also Lundgren’s is alive again after having half his head blown off in the last one). He retains the menacing former MMA fighter Andrei Arlovski from the previous film, although he actually plays a different character this time around. Barring all that, Hyams essentially starts from a clean slate, and to do that he finds a new lead in Scott Adkins. A hero in a very specific film niche, Adkins was always the right man in the wrong time. A highly skilled martial artist, he initially started in turn of the century Hong Kong fare, making a few appearances in mediocre Jackie Chan crap and direct to video garbage as evil henchmen. Once he moved on to Hollywood, the Bourne style had taken over and directors had no need for an actor who could actually fight when they could just cut around an actor’s lack of athleticism. Relegated to the henchman role for almost the entirety of his mainstream work (most widely recognized today for Marvel’s Doctor Strange where he plays... a henchman), he only received larger roles in cheap video fare, where he was also mostly wasted. One particular director named Isaac Florentine took a liking to him though, and often gave him major roles that allowed him to showcase his skills. His breakout role was as hardened Russian fighter Yuri Boyka in the Undisputed franchise, a similarly hijacked brand that took a bad prison movie and turned it into a quasi-Bloodsport tribute, complete with flashy fight scenes and a lot of actual talented martial artists. But even then, there was a watchability to Adkins’ raw acting talent, and being handsome and able to roundhouse people flawlessly also couldn’t hurt.

We open with average everyday dad John (Adkins) woken up by his daughter in the middle of the night. She worries that she hears monsters in the house and needs her dad to give her the all-clear to go to sleep. Much to his horror, his kitchen is inhabited by a group of ominous masked men, led by a bald man named Luc Deveraux (Van Damme). The Deveraux of past films was a noble if tired soldier, who was more than willing to save the world last film. This one rocks a shaved head and a thousand yard stare, a man broken by the world around him into whatever shape stands in front of John. He rambles in vague existentialist terms, only to interrupt when he begins to summarily execute John’s family right in front of him. One shot later, John awakens in a hospital bed with that as the only memory left in his shattered brain. A government agent gives him word of an investigation into Deveraux, but even the injured John knows there’s no backbone to his words. Whatever that agent knows he’s keeping to himself, so John has to do some digging on his own. We set on a path reminiscent of David Lynch’s Twin Peaks, a dreamlike collage of characters who all seem a little bit off in an environment that looks not to far behind from joining them. A possible lead winds up dead with only the classic noir matchbox to lead John to his next destination. A seedy strip club with a girl who seems to recognize him but under an entirely different name and personality. And for a man who was gravely injured, he seems to be healing at an almost unnatural rate.

Intercut with this first half is the descent into hell of sleeper agent Magnus (Arlovski). An imposing hulk in a massive plumber jumpsuit, he becomes activated in the middle of a job by the same mysterious agent John was questioned by and goes off wordlessly hunting. He shows up at a seedy neon-soaked brothel filled with a group of soldiers led by Deveraux’s right hand man Andrew Scott (Lundgren), all receiving copious amounts of strange, almost brutally violent sexual pleasure. Magnus’ shotgun does most of his talking here, in quite graphic form, until Scott hits him with a drugged syringe. A piercing fluttering sound enters as Magnus slows down and stares into the camera with a thousand yard stare. Scott (and soon a hallucinated Deveraux) preaches about being freed from his government oppressors and joining their separatist group, aimed at infiltrating the very top powers of America through these techniques. He arrives at their compound and it’s a nightmarish hellscape of masculinity: dingy lighting, distant dog barking, more camo than an army surplus store, and a near never-ending barrage of hyper masculine muscle men with guns at their side beating the hell out of each other for pure entertainment. We drift through the compound in slow motion, driven by a constant unnerving low rumble and lights feverishly pulsating. Scott delivers his speeches on freedom to his recruits, but one can only wonder if Deveraux has merely become their new slave master, as he roams the halls silently killing any who seem to perturb him. He is their cult leader, as all bow down before him and worship his words like that of a priest. They send Magnus after John, and soon enough the chase is on.

Hyams’ slow-burn style reads like Lynch by way of Gaspar Noe, a mix of the puzzling bad dream confusion of the former and the drugged up nightmare rave aesthetic of the latter. The brothel Scott’s troops spend their time in plays very much in the fashion of Noe’s underground trips of perversity. Taking full advantage of the film’s rare NC-17 rating, men’s muscular naked bodies are on full display, playing much more like contorted funhouse portraits of the “desired” male physique. Everything is sweaty and dingy, the people more rugged than Hollywood usually goes for, with the glimpses of depravity we see far beyond the usual we expect from sexy fanservice in low rent action movies. We see extremely aggressive acts from violent abuse to fetishized self-harm; the only way these men can get off is through the same violence that surrounds them. We meet mysterious characters later on who seem to know what’s ahead of John even before it happens and once Magnus attempts to hit John with the same drugged concoction that turned him, things get even stranger. Particularly nasty wounds seem to miraculously regenerate, he begins seeing visions of Deveraux in the mirror, and finds footage of a mystery man who looks just like him committing heinous acts of brutality towards people from his past.

Speaking of brutality, Hyams knows that at the end of the day this is an action film, and he really lets it rip with the full freedom of the NC-17. Magnus often comes in like a feral animal, screaming like a bat out of hell and often with a very dangerous weapon to boot. His first confrontation with John is a mess, an average man having to face an enraged behemoth, throwing him around like a ragdoll and tearing the set apart. John’s carelessness gets his fingers get caught in Magnus’ axe, immediately grounding Hyams’ action in clear physical stakes. We’ll eventually see a enraged John storm through Deveraux’s compound, mostly staged like one long shot, tearing through men like they were paper, as he too becomes like a rabid animal, letting out feral yells as he mercilessly slaughters everything in his path. But the real showstopper is a one-on-one showdown with Magnus in a sports department store, as both men grab whatever they can, from baseball bats to dumbbells to bowling balls, to pulverize the other one into pulp. Hyams’ and his team always shoot very clearly and cleanly, letting these talented men showcase their athletic skill and only sprinkling a little extra spice on top when needed.

John will eventually discover that he is quite literally a monster himself, not so different from them, and will be led towards the swamps of the Bayou. There, he will literally descend into the earth into the compound, into the masculine hell, looking for Deveraux’s promises of pure freedom. He’ll find a curious doctor, a man fallen right out of a Cronenberg movie, who will promise him freedom by telling him the truth and offering a rather gruesome surgery. But can John handle learning the truth, a truth that will shatter his entire reality? Much like in Noe’s Irreversible, the original crime is a lot more important than the vengeance we are supposed to demand. And to put it simply, John will not handle the truth very well.

The film ends on a rather disquieting note, as we meet the mysterious government agent again in the middle of nowhere. He admits his greater involvement, but has a bizarre adoration for John, noting how impressed he was that he was not powered by simple blind patriotism like the turned murderous agents, but rather his blind love for family. He speaks to him like a father would to a graduating son. One gun shot later and the agent is being replaced with an identical copy, who takes his spot in his vehicle to presumably go back to work and infiltrate higher parts of society with the separatist group’s ideas. But before he leaves, he gives a blank, subservient bow to the changed John, a man who has become all powerful only by rejecting the reality right in front of him. For if patriarchy has taught one thing, it’s that power and force are the only means of control, and John’s violent rampage has only won him followers. And when a broken man has an army that will listen to his every word, it’s hard to not throw your morals out the window and become a literal god among men.

#new classics #action #horror #scott adkins

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obtusemedia · 7 years ago

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In Ascending Order: Ranking Every Lady Gaga Song

Since disappearing from the spotlight for a few years after her third full-length album ARTPOP failed to capture the public’s imagination in 2013, Lady Gaga has has returned in a major way recently. A record-setting Super Bowl performance, destroying her Coachella headlining set (yes, she only was offered the position only after Beyoncé dropped out, but IT’S STILL A BIG DEAL OKAY), rocking the Oscars twice (and impressing living legend Julie Andrews), even being nominated for an Oscar...the Mother Monster has had a busy couple years.

Gaga even released a new album this past fall, Joanne,although it wasn’t a mega-smash like her first three records. However, the pop charts are really grayscale right now, so the very technicolor Gaga getting another hit in 2016 was unlikely anyways. Katy Perry, Lorde and Beyoncé’s new singles underperformed (or in Katy’s case, straight-up flopped...at least Lorde and Beyoncé have massive critical acclaim) on the charts in the past year too, so don’t blame the Mother Monster for not sounding like Lil Uzi Vert (although that would be awesome).

With all this renewed energy in Gaga’s career, I figured now would be a fantastic time to pay tribute to my favorite pop artist of all time. Without this avant-garde diva, I might have continued to ignore mainstream pop music when I was in high school, and given how stellar Top 40 was during the turn of the decade, that would’ve been a massive shame.

This is my personal ranking of every Lady Gaga song, with a few caveats:

1) No bonus tracks, just like the Kanye song ranking. I apologize that I won’t get to share my thoughts on — yes, this song exists — “Black Jesus/Amen Fashion,” but if the Mother Monster didn’t want these songs on the proper album release, they aren’t going on this list.

2) I’m not including her collab album with Tony Bennett, Cheek To Cheek. Partly because they’re covers of standards, but mostly because I’m really, really not a fan of pre-rock n’ roll pop, and it would be boring to have most of those songs clog up the bottom of the list.

3) No songs where Gaga is only a featured artist. Sorry, Beyoncé and...uh, Wale.

Let’s dive in!

#64: “Gypsy” (ARTPOP, 2013)

I normally love Gaga in Springsteen-worship mode, but “Gypsy” was a colossal misfire. There’s no hook to grab onto, and although I normally don’t mind Stefani’s somewhat corny lyrics, this one is just too loaded with clichés for me. The overt sincerity of “Gypsy” is horribly out of place compared to the rest of ARTPOP’s neon-splattered drugged-out vibe, and let’s not forget her (sorry for using this played-out word, but it’s the only one that works here) cringe-y attempt to use her trademark stutter lyrics during the coda: “I’m-I’m-I’m/a gypsy-gypsy-gypsy-gypsy.” Gaga has blander songs, but none that make me as angry as “Gypsy,” which sounds like a cheap knockoff of her Born This Way classics.

#63: “Paper Gangsta” (The Fame, 2008)

Honestly, I don’t even mind the super-dated production here. It’s Gaga’s auto-tune rapping that drives me bonkers. Can you at least stay on beat?

#62: “Boys Boys Boys” (The Fame)

Lady Gaga (to record executives): “Hey guys...thanks for releasing my debut album and all, but why do you insist on throwing in all these filler tracks at the end?”

Record Execs: *while chomping cigars* “You know how it is, Miss Gaga: 14 songs is the norm for pop albums. There’s gonna be some filler to reach that number, it’s just the way it goes.”

Gaga: “Right, okay, but there’s probably only 10 songs that are actually any good. Isn’t that enough? I mean, ‘Boys Boys Boys’ was just something I wrote as a joke and recorded for kicks. I literally rip off a line from that Randy Newman song about LA...”

Execs: “Make more hit songs and then you can make these decisions. For now, ‘Boys Boys Boys’ stays on. It tests well with the tween demographic.”

Gaga: “Ugh. Fine.”

Execs: “Also, how would you be down to work with this hot up-and-comer named Colby O’Donis? He’s going to be the next Justin Timberlake, we guarantee it!”

#61: “Sinner’s Prayer” (Joanne, 2016)

In which Gaga tries to get us to forget that she’s from Manhattan with this boring cowboy lullaby. I already don’t like acoustic guitar ballads, so this was never going to be a favorite of mine.

#60: “Mary Jane Holland” (ARTPOP)

I’m all for Gaga getting weird, but I’m really not sure we needed a Skrillex-biting dubstep anthem about smoking weed in Europe from her. Maybe Miley could’ve pulled this off, but this isn’t Gaga’s lane.

#59: “Come To Mama” (Joanne)

Father John Misty wrote this uncanny-valley version of a 70s soul tune, and he might have been able to salvage it himself by adding a bit of irony. When Gaga plays it straight, it just sounds like a song on some PBS Kids show. Not one of the good ones, either.

#58: “Money Honey” (The Fame)

You know how The Killers’ Hot Fuss is loaded with classics in the first-half, and then the second-half is the definition of pure filler? The Fame is the electropop equivalent. You will forget this boring “Just Dance” retread seconds after it ends.

#57: “So Happy I Could Die” (The Fame Monster, 2009)

Now we’ve reached the “just okay” tier. “So Happy I Could Die” isn’t bad enough to halt the groove of the near-perfect Fame Monster EP, but it’s still fairly forgettable.

#56: “Electric Chapel” (Born This Way, 2011)

The opening suggests that Gaga might go full metal here. Instead, it settles for pedestrian electro-pop with a few guitar chords (and an admittedly pretty awesome guitar solo) sprinkled in. Not dire by any means, but compared to Born This Way’s other iconic cuts, it doesn’t stand out.

#55: “Donatella” (ARTPOP)

This skewering of fashion magnate Donatella Versace peaks in the first 20 seconds with a wonderfully campy spoken-word intro: “I’m blonde, I’m skinny, I’m rich, and I’m a little bit of a bitch.” After that, it’s a boilerplate ARTPOP-era in-your-face EDM tune.

#54: “I Like It Rough” (The Fame)

Not a super-memorable song, but it has a few nice touches. The Chromeo-esque talkbox at the beginning is wonderful, and the lead synth riff is pretty catchy. One of the better filler tracks on The Fame’s second half.

#53: “Bloody Mary” (Born This Way)

Remember when Gaga was super into religious metaphors and symbolism? “Bloody Mary” is probably the most prominent example of this era, name-dropping Jesus and making references to being crucified. She even has robot monks chant “GAGA.” Unfortunately, the verses sound like she’s literally puking at the end of each line, but the chorus has a nice melody. She also lets loose a a blood-curdling scream at one point, which is always fun. All in all, it’s a mid-tier Born This Way cut.

#52: “The Fame” (The Fame)

I shouldn’t be surprised about how mediocre most of The Fame’s non-singles are, but it’s still disappointing. At least “The Fame” has a funky guitar groove to balance out the cliché lyrics and hookless chorus.

#51: “Beautiful, Dirty, Rich” (The Fame)

Don’t worry, we’re almost through the endless non-singles on The Fame...wait, hold on. Apparently this was a single. Well, it’s certainly not bad, but it definitely lacks the je ne sais quoi of the other singles. Solid production, I guess, if a bit underwhelming. Gaga herself outperforms the actual song.

#50: “Angel Down” (Joanne)

Ending Joanne, which is definitely Gaga’s comfort-food album, with a memorial tune for slain teen Trayvon Martin certainly was a bold move, and I give major props to Stefani for trying to write a song about the tense racial climate. However...it just feels a bit forced. File this under the “I respect it but don’t listen to it often” category.

#49: “Jewels N’ Drugs” feat. T.I., Too $hort, Twista (ARTPOP)

Hey kids! Did you want to hear Lady Gaga try to make a dubstep-trap fusion with three outdated rappers?! No? Too bad, it already happened. I know, ranking this above the very sincere “Angel Down” makes me a horrible human being, but this is one of the most entertaining garbage fires I’ve heard in my life.

“Jewels N’ Drugs,” objectively, is Gaga’s worst song. It’s awkward, badly produced, and Gaga feels super out-of-place. But it gains so, so many points for being the most interesting musical roadside car crash of our generation. Also, having Twista do his motor-mouth routine can only make a song better. The worst thing a song can be is boring, and nobody would dare call “Jewels N’ Drugs” boring. Being shockingly misguided should keep “Jewels N’ Drugs” from going any further, unfortunately.

#48: “Americano” (Born This Way)

The Mother Monster takes a trip down south for this Mexican-flavored ode to eloping with another woman. Like “Jewels N’ Drugs,” it’s extremely clunky and awkward (“language” in Spanish definitely isn’t “language-oro,” Gaga), but also like that ARTPOP track, it’s too goofy to really hate. A relentless four-on-the-floor beat and some nice horn flourishes can’t hurt either.

#47: “Joanne” (Joanne)

Certainly the better of Joanne’s two acoustic tracks. This one, an ode to Stefani’s late aunt — named Joanne, of course — is touching and sweet. It almost feels like a dusty Carole King song. Although I don’t love the toned-down sound, it fits Gaga’s storyteller songwriting here.

#46: “ARTPOP” (ARTPOP)

Although most of ARTPOP is hyperactive and gaudy, the title track takes a cold, metallic detour. It’s not an all-time classic or anything, but the melody is sticky and it provides a nice breather from the harsh dubstep production.

#45: “Starstruck” ft. Flo Rida (The Fame)

This belongs in a museum exhibit about the year 2009 (yes, it came out in 2008 technically, but this is a dead ringer for ‘09). The auto-tune, the chirpy synths, a Flo Rida feature for some reason (apparently you can overdose on Starbucks): “Starstruck” symbolizes the best and worst of the end of the aughts. It’s probably not any better than the rest of The Fame’s filler, but I have a soft spot for it due to nostalgia.

#44: “Brown Eyes” (The Fame)

One of Gaga’s specialties is her piano ballads. Although “Brown Eyes” is a solid Queen-meets-Sara Bareilles pastiche, it’s probably still the worst of the series. Still a cute little love song with some nice guitar work, but she’d go on to achieve much greater heights with this style later in her career.

#43: “Bad Kids” (Born This Way)

Solid misfit anthem with a grimy 80s guitar riff sprinkled throughout. If Madonna decided to play dress-up as AC/DC, it would sound like this.

#42: “Alejandro” (The Fame Monster)

My least favorite of Gaga’s big hits. It’s certainly not bad by any means; the Ace of Base rhythm is fun, and the chorus certainly is an earworm. Still, compared to her other peak-era singles, it feels sort of non-essential and forgettable. This is far too normal for Gaga, and there’s a reason why this hasn’t had the shelf life of “Just Dance” or “Bad Romance.”

#41: “The Cure” (solo single, 2017)

Well, it’s been a couple months. What’s the verdict on Gaga’s new single, that flopped like many of her other recent singles? ...eh. It’s okay. Hopping on the whitewashed tropical-pop bandwagon that Bieber and Ed Sheeran have ridden to success might have been a smart financial move (except it didn’t work), but musically, it just doesn’t fit Gaga’s voice or songwriting style. I mean, come on Gaga...if you’re going to copy a current trend, why not try to sound like Lil Yachty? At least he’s fun.

#40: “Til It Happens To You” (solo single, 2015)

Gaga’s big Oscar-nominated anthem! A brave anthem denouncing rape culture! The lyrics are incredibly personal and powerful...it’s a shame that the music couldn’t match. It certainly tries, with drum fills and orchestral strikes galore, but it sometimes drowns out the piano and vocals. Stefani’s vocal performance is absolutely jaw-dropping, and it’s a bummer that the production overpowers her. The live performance at the Academy Awards was much, much more powerful.

Honestly, it probably should’ve won the Oscar (Sam Smith’s Bond theme was boring as hell), but unfortunately it isn’t in the upper echelon of Gaga ballads. Still, I’m not sure Gaga’s ever written a more important song, lyrically speaking.

#39: “Hey Girl” ft. Florence Welch (Joanne)

Let me get this straight: You get Florence Welch on a song. Florence Welch, AKA the greatest British singer of her generation (sorry, Adele), who can demolish buildings with her voice. Florence Welch, who’s the queen of the apocalyptic power ballad and makes every breakup sound like Satan himself is behind her pain. And you stick her on a “Benny and the Jets” rewrite? I mean, “Benny and the Jets” is a great song (although Elton’s done better in terms of goofy pop), and “Hey Girl” works as an interpolation of that groove to empower women and all, but this feels like a misuse of Florence. She barely gets to belt! Next time, if you’re going to semi-cover a baby boomer classic, can you do one that suits her skill set? “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” perhaps?

#38: “Highway Unicorn (Road To Love)” (Born This Way)

We’ve now reached the part of the countdown where every song is top-notch. “Highway Unicorn” answers the question of what would happen if Bob Seger overdosed on mushrooms and ecstasy and tried to write a normal Bob Seger road trip anthem. It’s ridiculous, horribly overproduced, and somehow still wonderful.

#37: “Dancing in Circles” (Joanne)

Gaga making a winking ode to masterbation is pretty out of place on the rest of the grandma-friendly Joanne, but it’s a nice detour. The slinky Palm Springs vibe courtesy of Beck, who co-wrote the track, is welcome and adds a new style to Gaga’s catalogue.

#36: “Swine” (ARTPOP)

This is the Mother Monster’s most overt foray into EDM, with a mind-melting bass-drop included. However, this is less Swedish House Mafia and more Nine Inch Nails in its transgressive imagery — comparing your lover to a literal pig is a little gross, admittedly — and incredibly aggressive sound. The synths aren’t shiny and clean: they sound like jackhammers, lazer guns, and a rollercoaster going up a hill. Somehow, this works despite the incredibly unpleasant imagery. Probably because it makes for an incredible workout song.

#35: “Heavy Metal Lover” (Born This Way)

Unfortunately, Gaga doesn’t dive deep into actual heavy metal here, but like “Swine,” “Heavy Metal Lover” feels grimy and dirty. It’s arguably the singer’s most sexual song from her early career, and really captures a visceral vibe that’s hard to find in most of Gaga’s brighter, more-polished hits. Back in 2011, it sounded super experimental. Now that most Top 40 has ventured into a darker direction, it just sounds like a portent of hits to come.

#34: “Teeth” (The Fame Monster)

Pitchfork described “Teeth” as Gaga’s version of a Christina Aguilera song, and I’m not going to be able to beat that. I’ll just add this: “Teeth” sounds way, way better than 95% of Aguilera’s tunes, because Stefani was a theater geek in high school. She can do this vaudeville throwback sound in her sleep.

#33: “Aura” (ARTPOP)

There couldn’t be a better opening to the demented funhouse mirror that is ARTPOP than this bonkers track. “Aura” begins with Gaga detailing how she murdered her ex. After that, she laughs manically over Spanish guitar. Then the beat drops, and all chaos breaks loose.

Opening the already-very-weird ARTPOP with arguably its weirdest track was a bold move, and although whether or not you like “Aura” depends completely on how much you can stomach avant-garde, whacked-out Gaga (the same applies to its parent album). Luckily, I prefer my Gaga to be completely insane, so “Aura” is a perfect album opener.

#32: “Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)” (The Fame)

“Eh, Eh” is the audio equivalent of ice cream and puppies. This bubblegum tune is the exact opposite of “Heavy Metal Lover” and “Swine” in the best ways possible, and I’d be willing to bet Carly Rae Jepsen ghostwrote this. Cherry cherry boom boom!

#31: “Fashion!” (ARTPOP)

Doesn’t quite top the Bowie classic of the same name, it still captures the main attribute that any song about fashion should have: a killer strutting grove built for catwalks. Besides, who better than our era’s most unique dresser to write a tune about the power of fancy clothes?

#30: “Government Hooker” (Born This Way)

This serves as the one-song preview for ARTPOP and all its over-the-top ridiculousness. I mean that in the best way possible, of course: Any song that features someone yelling “HOOOOOOOKAAAAAH” on the chorus and contains the platonic ideal of a so-bad-it’s-brilliant line (in this case, “put your hands on me/John F. Kennedy”) is an instant camp classic in my book. The maddeningly catchy hook and sinister production almost make it legitimate.

#29: “MANiCURE” (ARTPOP)

Power pop is one of the most under-appreciated genres. For those who don’t know: This is when you have a super-sticky bubblegum pop anthem, and beef it up with massive, crunchy guitars. You definitely know a few examples. “MANiCURE” is a perfect update of that sound. Cheap Trick are kicking themselves that they didn’t write this.

#28: “Judas” (Born This Way)

Yes, I’m aware that “Judas” has a toxic reputation as being Gaga’s first major flop single, and it certainly does rip off “Bad Romance.” Here’s the thing: I don’t really care. If you’re going to rip yourself off, rip off one of your classics! Bruno Mars stole “21K Magic” from “Uptown Funk,” and it works because the skeleton of the former is built around a modern classic. I feel the same way here. Also, it’s just so silly and overblown, like the best Gaga singles. It’s a guilty pleasure, sorry!

#27: “Million Reasons” (Joanne)

I hate most country, but I love a classic piano ballad. “Million Reasons” combines both, plus lots of religious pleading, into a song that somehow feels both very staged, and yet very touching. Not Gaga’s finest adventure on the keys, but it’s still miles better than most recent attempts to use this formula.

#26: “LoveGame” (The Fame)

“Disco stick” is the greatest penis euphemism ever created. Don’t fight me on this. The rest of the song is a solid late-aughts banger, but disco stick is what will keep “LoveGame” in the public consciousness for years to come.

#25: “A-YO” (Joanne)

If all of Joanne seamlessly blended country motifs and sounds with pop production and melodies like this, I probably would’ve liked the album a whole lot more. Also, remember when she used this song to shade The Chainsmokers? Good times.

#24: “Hair” (Born This Way)

“Hair” is a litmus test to see how much of Born This Way’s bombastic cheese you can handle: Are you not cool with a chorus that proudly proclaims, “I AM MY HAIR?” Does the cliché-yet-classic story of a misfit running away from her disapproving parents make you smirk? Do the bright saxophone flourishes give you flashbacks to the worst of late-80s pop (same with the loud synths and early-10s pop)? If you answered yes to all of those, “Hair” isn’t for you. Go listen to something ~serious~ like J. Cole or whatever. For those of us that actually like fun and wish pop music still sounded as dorky and over-the-top as it did in 1987, “Hair” is perfect.

#23: “Applause” (ARTPOP)

Friendly reminder that this song, which unfortunately has been lost to the sands of time, absolutely bangs and is probably the most accessible song on ARTPOP. This could’ve been another smash hit, but nope. Y’all chose Katy Perry’s worst single instead (yes, worse even than “Bon Appetit”). Only Gaga could write a song about how she loves it when people worship her and not sound absolutely insufferable.

#22: “Dope” (ARTPOP)

After an entire album of hedonism, drug freakouts, and day-glo splashes of sound, Gaga takes things way, way down a notch with “Dope,” an album that reveals that ARTPOP’s wacky chaos sounded out-of-control for a reason: She was suffering from a very real drug addiction at the time. “Dope” is a haunting, extremely powerful song in which Gaga decides to give up the drugs for love. Produced by one of the GOATs, Rick Rubin, it’s both minimalist (in terms of the sound being just piano and a few synth flourishes) and maximalist (Stefani goes full Meatloaf in her bombastic vocal performance). Not going to find many piano ballads better than this in most pop stars’ arsenals. And it’s not even Gaga’s best in the subgenre.

#21: “Dance In The Dark” (The Fame Monster)

The fact that this 80s-pop jam was shafted as the single in favor of the just-okay “Alejandro” is a crime. “Dance In The Dark” is a stuttering, forceful dancefloor anthem that’s all about female empowerment. Yes, that sounds like Gaga bingo (she even name drops a super-famous icon, in this case Princess Diana), but it’s surprisingly touching, and of course, it’s a total jam.

#20: “John Wayne” (Joanne)

See “AY-O” above, but even better. This is what The Fame would’ve sounded like if Gaga was from Austin and not Manhattan.

#19: “Sexxx Dreams” (ARTPOP)

I will defend ARTPOP until the day I die, and a huge reason is the maligned album’s showstopper first half. There’s not a weak track in the first seven songs to be found (okay, “Jewels N’ Drugs” is so-bad-it’s-good, but I’m counting that), and it bounces from one electrifying synthpop banger to the next. In that lineup, the kinky, jittery “Sexxx Dreams” isn’t one of the very best, but it would be an easy single on any other pop album. The transition to the nervous verses to the synth explosion on the chorus is seamless. Probably as close as Gaga came to classic new wave.

#18: “Scheibe” (Born This Way)

Gaga’s other major excursion into another country’s pop music on Born This Way, “Americano,” is fun, but the mix of early-’10s synthpop and Mexican stylings is a bit clunky. However, the Mother Monster slips into sleek German industrial techno like a glove. “Scheibe” (which means “shit” in German, fun fact) sounds like Madonna-goes-to-Berlin, as Stefani’s robotic German chants eventually morph into a four-on-the-floor jam with a soaring chorus. It’s technically about female empowerment, but it’s really about Gaga getting her ‘90s dance groove on.

#17: “Summerboy” (The Fame)

For some reason, Gaga thought recording a Strokes soundalike in 2008, about 6 years after the New York legends’ peak, was a good idea. Thank god she pulls it off.

The pop-rock groove is slick, timeless, and the Mother Monster is more than willing to vamp it up like Debbie Harry. This was a brief moment where Gaga actually sounded somewhat like a *gasp* normal person, and although it obviously didn’t last, it is an interesting —and catchy — look at what could’ve been if she decided to go down the Gwen Stefani route instead of the Madonna one. There’s something beautifully nostalgic and bittersweet about “Summerboy,” and I’m shocked that one of The Fame’s boilerplate non-singles is lowkey one of Gaga’s best love songs.

#16: “Poker Face” (The Fame)

The only thing holding back “Poker Face” from a top 10 spot is that it’s a bit repetitive, which is a pet peeve of mine. Still, “p-p-p-pokerface” is one of the most maddening earworms of my generation, and Gaga deserves endless props for sneaking a song about bisexuality onto the top of the charts before LGBT support was mainstream (at least, to the point that it is now). It’s a killer electropop jam that let the world know that Gaga wasn’t going to disappear after one hit.

#15: “G.U.Y.” (ARTPOP)

Another first-half ARTPOP club banger for the ages. The buzzsaw synth riff is infectious (produced by Zedd of all people) and Gaga’s winking sexuality perfectly toes the line between ridiculous and excessively ridiculous. “Touch me, touch me, don’t be sweet/Love me, love me, please retweet” might have made some people groan, but it just makes me laugh. Pop songs are supposed to be cheesy, right? “G.U.Y.” fits that bill, complete with Gaga unleashing her metal wail during the outro again. For someone like me who loves pop music with a splash of weirdness, “G.U.Y.” is an underrated gem.

#14: “Bad Romance” (The Fame Monster)

I know, I know, leaving what is arguably Gaga’s signature song out of the Top 10 is blasphemy. Let me make this clear: “Bad Romance” is still a 9/10, classic pop song. No doubt about it. However, I think its reputation has been bolstered by being coupled with the greatest music video of the 21st century (apologies to OK Go, Kendrick Lamar, M.I.A., and Angel Olsen).

If I’m being honest with myself, “Bad Romance” just doesn’t give me the same thrill as it did back in late 2009. Maybe it’s because it takes a while to truly get going: The bridge going into the final chorus, when Gaga finally unleashes her vocal cannons (“I DON’T WANNA BE FRIIIIIIENDS”) gives me goosebumps, but it feels like the first two-thirds are just solid Gaga single material. Still a classic, but it doesn’t get me hyped anymore.

#13: “Monster” (The Fame Monster)

Songs about dealing with a hot jerk are a pop staple, and “Monster” is a pitch-perfect update of that trope. Well, maybe ‘update’ isn’t a great word, seeing as the turn-of-the-decade production is fairly dated now, but 2009 was a fantastic year for pop, so it’s not an issue. This is during the time when Gaga’s non-singles were just as strong — or even stronger — than the hits, and “Monster” could’ve easily climbed the charts with its evocative imagery and patented stuttering lyrics if Gaga chose to release it. Since she didn’t, it remains a hidden gem for Little Monsters.

#12: “Diamond Heart” (Joanne)

One of Gaga’s favorite musical wells to draw from is Bruce Springsteen, so I was a bit surprised when Joanne, her homage to heartland rock/country, didn’t seem to have much influence from the Jersey legend. However, opener “Diamond Heart” settles for the next best thing to emulate: Tom Petty! Opening with the three descriptors “young, wild, American,” and going on describing Gaga’s rough-scabble upbringing to stardom (ironic, given that she grew up wealthy on the Upper East Side…whatever, the song still works). The chorus is soaring, the guitars squeal, and the dusty rock groove could easily fit in at any dive bar in Indiana. You gotta love a fake origin story.

#11: “Born This Way” (Born This Way)

Arguably the first major hit song to bluntly advocate for LGBT issues in the U.S., “Born This Way” will go down as one of our generation’s most influential civil rights anthems. Yes, I’m still talking about the song with a video where Gaga gives birth to an alien and dances around with a skeleton. The cluttered production has aged badly, but Gaga’s passion for the subject overpowers any shortcomings the sound might have. And yeah, the melody rips off Madonna’s “Express Yourself,” but you could frankly make the argument that Gaga improves upon that 1989 hit with more important lyrics. I guarantee you Madge herself would rush the dancefloor if “Born This Way” came on in the club. Gaga’s last #1 hit has maintained in the public consciousness for a damn good reason: Pair revolutionary lyrics with a (potentially stolen) sticky melody and a danceable beat, and you’ve got an instant classic on your hands.

#10: “Just Dance” ft. Colby O’Donis (The Fame)

First off, does anybody remember Colby O’Donis or remember who he even is? It’s a bit odd that this rando was featured on one of the biggest pop songs of the past decade, and yet I’ve never heard another thing from him. Probably for the best...his warbly verse is fairly non-descript.

Luckily, it doesn’t derail Mother Monster’s introduction to the pop world. It’s impossible to describe how fast Gaga went from being an unknown to the most famous singer on the planet within half a year, and part of that obviously has to do with her electrifying videos and provocative image, which was a breath of fresh air after a ballad-stuffed 2008 pop scene. However, if “Just Dance” wasn’t as catchy, memorable, and disoriented as it was, Gaga might still be some unknown floundering around the bottom half of the Hot 100.

“Just Dance” has aged amazingly well nine years later, and the ode to desperately clinging to the remains of a dying party should last forever as long as people still have parties (or junior high formals).

#9: “Perfect Illusion” (Joanne)

The fact that this song flopped as hard as it did last fall still irritates me. Oh, I’m sorry, do you people not like stone-cold bangers anymore?! Y’all deserve Meghan Trainor and Machine Gun Kelly.

Seriously though, “Perfect Illusion” sounds better with every listen. The psych rock-meets-EDM production is both hypnotic and a pure adrenaline rush. Stefani is using her full hair-metal vocals, screaming the chorus with everything she’s got. She even throws in a weird accent, just for kicks: “IT WASN’T LAHHHHHVE!” I know that there’s a decent amount of Little Monsters who don’t like this, and prefer the quieter, more personal side of Joanne, but as someone who prefers Gaga (and pop in general) at her most bombastic, “Perfect Illusion” is the perfect comeback single that never was.

#8: “Speechless” (The Fame Monster)

The perfect Gaga song for those who don’t like Gaga!

Jokes aside, “Speechless” is a masterclass in 70s piano balladry. Surrounded by the rest of the metallic synthpop on The Fame Monster, “Speechless” feels like a random Elton John cover, but nope, it’s a Mother Monster original. One of Gaga’s more underrated traits is her knack for lyrical details, and the way she describes this heartbreaker is so specific, you can probably picture him right now. In a way, it’s like how a great author would make his/her characters come to life simply using descriptors. He’s got “James Dean glossy eyes.” He weaves “cigarette-stained lies.” He “slurred at [her]/with your half-wired broken jaw.” It’s like something out of a Carly Simon song.

“Speechless” is easy to love, which explains why it’s always been a fan favorite despite never being released as a single. Gaga is a great show-woman, and when she eventually gets that Vegas residency, “Speechless” will bring the house down every time. It will likely sound just as timeless 50 years from now as it did back in 2009.

#7: “Venus” (ARTPOP)

In a weird way, “Venus” might be just as timeless as “Speechless,” although you’d never guess that on first listen. There’s a pounding techno beat and Gaga is in full ARTPOP-era weirdness with her space-age lyrics and her usage of at least four or five different goofy voices — hardly the stuff of The Beatles.

Still, listen again: The structure of “Venus” is incredibly simple. The chorus uses the timeless four-chords. The beat and astronomically-themed lyrics are futuristic, but in a retro way, sort of like 80s new wave (which has mostly aged surprisingly well). “Venus” is a classic pop song that could’ve come from 1955, 1985, or 2055. Replace the propulsive synths — which literally sound like a space shuttle launching at points, which adds to the force of the track — with the pop stylings of any other era, and it would fit right in. That’s what makes Gaga so talented: She has a knack for unbelievably sticky pop songwriting, and she’s able to mold that skill set to whatever oddball soundscapes she chooses. “Venus” is simply the most obvious, and possibly the best, example of this. Imagine how much better Elvis would’ve been if he had a sledgehammer of a beat like this to back him up.

Also, she makes a Uranus joke, and the junior high boy in me still finds that hilarious. Sorry.

#6: “Marry The Night” (Born This Way)

In Mother Monster’s best album opener, the diva decides to go full Pat Benatar: Visceral rock choruses! An underdog narrative! Yet it still has a pop sensibility that even the catchiest Springsteen songs lack. This would’ve easily been the biggest song of 1982, and 100% deserves to be on a Rocky soundtrack.

Although there are a few Gaga songs that are better (obviously, we still have five to go), the final 45 seconds of “Marry The Night” is the greatest moment she will likely ever produce. Crunchy guitars clash with buzzsaw synths, all on top of a gargantuan dance beat. Over all of this is Gaga in full-rockstar mode, wailing away at the moon as she climbs to the top of the world. It’s the sort of moment that FORCES you to crank your stereo up to its loudest volume. It might destroy your speakers, but at least you destroyed them in the name of rock n’ roll. Please Gaga, do a metal album. I beg you.

#5: “Paparazzi” (The Fame)

“Paparazzi” is the thesis statement of early Gaga: Fame is deadly, yet it matters more than anything else. Stalkers aren’t creepy, they’re just another aspect of fame to be immortalized and celebrated, like a giant mansion or a yacht.

While some other pop stars might try to play “Paparazzi” straight, legitimately trying to make the tale of a paparazzo forcing herself onto a celebrity somehow romantic, Gaga highlights and revels in the ick-factor of it all. The cold, robotic synths lack any emotion, even lust. The narrator simply knows she wants this man, and she won’t let anything stop her from reaching her goal. Switch out a few words, and it could be about a serial killer.

Yet, somehow, despite the obvious sketchiness, “Paparazzi” is one of the catchiest and most pure pop songs Gaga has ever written, and it’s probably aged the best out of all her early singles. The metallic synth groove, the odd lyrics, the obsession with celebrity culture: There isn’t a better representation of the Mother Monster’s early days.

#4: “The Edge of Glory” (Born This Way)

Remember what I said about the last 45 seconds of “Marry The Night?” What if Gaga turned that into a full song? It’s your lucky day! That song exists, and it’s “The Edge of Glory.”

I’m not sure if “Edge” is considered top-tier Gaga or not, but I was instantly hooked the first time I heard it in May 2011. This song is another one of Born This Way’s timeless-yet-drenched-in-80s-nostalgia cuts, and it’s easily the best example of those. I mean, for God’s sake, she got Clarence freakin’ Clemens on the solo. For those of you who don’t know who Clarence Clemons is, first, call your parents and chastise them for not raising you properly. Secondly, listen to “Jungleland” (yes, all ten minutes, it’s good for you).

I shouldn’t even need to explain why “Edge of Glory” is a classic. What, do I need to explain what makes “Hey Jude” or “Juicy” great, too? Just listen, dance, headbang, sing-along, and lose yourself in Gaga’s best rock-synthpop fusion.

#3: “Yoü and I” (Born This Way)

Goddamn, I love Gaga’s Springsteen’s pastiches. I can’t think of another major pop diva, past or present, who could pull off such rock-star swagger as Gaga does on “Yoü and I.” It even has a bit of country twang; If Florida-Georgia Line accidentally wrote a genius power ballad, it would sound exactly like this.

The “We Will Rock You” thump, the interplaying E Street Band piano and AC/DC guitars, and the John Cougar-esque blue-collar lyrics all combine into a beautiful, weird soup of classic rock clichés that somehow, magically works. Gaga even gets Queen’s guitarist, Brian May, to contribute some guitar licks and a solo for extra credibility.

“Yoü and I” is proof that dad rock isn’t just limited to dads: Meat dress-wearing pop divas can take a crack at the formula, too. You’ll never find a better ode to Nebraska.

#2: “Do What U Want” (ft. R. Kelly) (ARTPOP)

“Do What U Want” is a brilliant bait-and-switch move. At first glance, it’s just a simple club banger about sex. It’d be a damn good one too: Bouncy synths, slamming bass, and both R. Kelly and Gaga giving career-highlight performances.

However, Gaga isn’t telling a hookup to do what they want with her body. She’s talking about the media. Yes, “Do What U Want” is actually a middle-finger to the press, who she was starting to get sick of by this point. The paparazzi had shifted roles from Gaga’s inspiration to her enemy. Actually listening to Gaga’s lyrics make the message pretty clear: “I get up/and I’m okay/but you print some shit that makes me wanna scream.”

Stefani is cool with the press oversexualizing her and making jokes about meat dresses; She understands that’s unfortunately part of the popstar game. What she objects to is the media coming after her personal life and her views. “You can’t stop my voice/cause you don’t own my life/but do what you want to my body.”

Of course, the message is muddled when R. Kelly twists the song back to the more blunt meaning: He’s gonna do whatever he wants to your body. Kinda sleazy (I mean, it is R. Kelly), but he SELLS it. There’s just something so visceral about him screaming “WE DON’T GIVE A FUUUUUUUCK” at the end of his verse.

So yeah, “Do What U Want” is a banger with an actual message. It’s both sensual and righteously pissed. In a just world, it would have been just as massive of a smash as the number one song on this list...

#1: “Telephone” feat. Beyoncé (The Fame Monster)

The two most important pop stars of our generation came together and produced a simple dance-pop number that wound up becoming the pinnacle of both artists’ careers.

“Telephone” is the platonic ideal for electropop. It perfectly straddles the fence between too much tastelessness and just enough. There hasn’t been a better Gaga stutter hook than “Stop telephoning me-eh-eh-eh-eh,” sounding just like a busy line. Beyoncé absolutely KILLS her verse, slowing the beat down for a second, making me wish she made more pop cameos.

The whole production is a blurry mess of sizzling keyboards, an incessant beat that tells you — no, DEMANDS you — to never stop dancing, a Greek chorus, swirling disco strings, and two all-time greats singing over the hook like it’s no big deal. I’m not sure there’s another pop song out there that feels this propulsive as “Telephone;” It whirrs and pops with energy at every second. It manages to make dealing with the simple inconvenience of a phone going off at the club seem like a struggle of Herculean proportions.

This is the Watch The Throne of pop music. Two icons in their primes. This is like if Michael Jackson and Prince teamed up in 1984. Or if the Bee Gees and Abba collaborated in 1978. Or if Eddie Vedder and Kurt Cobain jammed together in 1993 (we did get Eddie and Chris Cornell together though, which is pretty cool nonetheless). It’s highly unlikely we’ll ever see two giants of pop collaborate like this ever again, or if we do, it’ll probably be lame, like The Chainsmokers feat. Ed Sheeran or something.

“Telephone” is the best Lady Gaga song. “Telephone” is the best Beyoncé song. And “Telephone” is one of the best pop songs of all time. Don’t believe me? Add it to your next party playlist. See how people react. It’s the early-’10s dancefloor banger to end all dancefloor bangers. And all because Gaga and Bey forgot to put their phones on mute.

Also, the video is a beautiful/ugly work of art that better wind up in the MoMA. Mass murder via sandwiches has never been more fun!

#lady gaga #in ascending order #synthpop #rock #country rock #beyonce #r. kelly

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andreaeppolitoevents · 5 years ago

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2020 Top Wedding Trends: The Biggest Trends in Weddings for the NEW Roaring 20s

Newly engaged? You must read this immediately and catch up on the emerging wedding trends of 2020.

Happy New Year! Who woke up with a sparkling ring on their important finger? If that’s you, please know that it is never too soon to jump into the planning and design phase. You will want to jump headfirst into all things ceremonies, receptions, and weddings!

We have entered the NEW Roaring 20s and there are a number of exciting trends emerging in weddings. In the fall I had the pleasure of presenting these trends at Wedding MBA and I am excited to share them with you now!

Wedding Trend #1: Art Deco Everything

Art deco is back in a big way. Think Gatsby, sumptuous fabrics, and elements like fur stoles and Swarovski details. The colors will be black, white, gold, and red. Expect to see geometric elements and interesting shapes. Cakes will be round and square, with mosaic tiles that echo the architecture of the times.

When bringing art deco elements in, be certain to add a modern, fresh spin on things. The goal is not to have this feel like a theme or costume, but instead to show what showcase old elements in new ways.

Wedding Trend #2: Live Entertainment

Beginning in 2019 I saw an uptick in couples that were requesting bands - not in place of DJs, but in addition to them. Couples want to have the energy of live entertainment starting off the night, and big bands are the best way to bring this in. We are seeing bands with both male and female singers, horns that go into the crowd, and customized playlists. Then, after the band’s set, we have headlining DJs coming in to close out the afterparty.

In addition to the music, you can expect to see a lot of interactive entertainment such as mirror men, performers on hoverboards, and serves that provide entertainment as they pass around hors d’eouvres, cocktails, and desserts.

Wedding Trend #3: BTS Videos

In today’s internet driven economy, the cost of nearly everything is known, but it can be difficult to determine the value.

In an era of pretty websites and an easy entry to the industry, it can be difficult for couple to determine what the true, observable differences are between one wedding planner and another. This same issue presents itself when you look at photographers, florists, venues. etc. If you are a newly engaged couple, it is easy to get caught in a see of pretty. And the pretty is great - but you need to understand the process.

When trying to determine which wedding planner or partner is the best choice for you, take a look at their behind the scenes videos. Watch their Instagram stories, check out their Tik Tok, and look at their YouTube videos. You should have a real understanding of how your wedding team operates, what they care about, why they do what they do, and how that will impact your experience.

Wedding Trend #4: Color Saturation

White weddings are not going anywhere any time soon, but couples wanting to make bold statements are moving towards big, bold primary colors.

Green becomes surprisingly neutral when used en masse. Red is certain to raise the heartbeat of your guests, and feels very sexy. Blue, the Pantone Color of the Year, is both calm and classic. Any color you love will work as long as you use it everywhere.

To stop one color from falling flat, bring your design to life with candles, metallics, and unique shapes. Remember to use white sparingly, as it will stand out and really draw the eye. Use white (and even black) to enhance the color you select, not to take away from it.

Wedding Trend #5: Over the Top Installations

Over-the-top installations are going to be big in 2020.

The economic boom allows us to invest a bit more in at least one element of the wedding. As someone who believes that more is more and that the grander the moment the better the memory, I love this trend.

My personal preference is to start with an opulent installation. It immediately makes a statement, saying that this wedding is couture, highly styled, and very special. An over-the-top display sets the tone for the rest of the wedding and creates an emotional response in your guests.

When designing your statement piece (or pieces!) think of when your guests will come upon them. An elaborate ceremony design is wonderful because it immediately signals a sense of grandeur for your guests. If you then follow up with a unique escort card table and then something really eye-catching, like a ceiling installation, you will consistently reinforce to your guests that you have taken the time to really think about your atmosphere and the experience you are creating.

Wedding Trend #6: Sustainability

While we may be going over the top in our investments, no one wants to be wasteful.

There is a social consciousness that has emerged, and we all want to do our part to ensure that we are using the food and florals as broadly as possible. Where once it was a badge of honor to have station after station full of food, it’s now more important to think locally and act globally. For example, we may source fish or vegetables from local farmers, and then donate the leftover food to a charity. Florals are often sent to hospitals or old age homes, and we design with the intention to repurpose and reuse nearly all of the elements so that we reduce the total global waste we produce.

How can you help create a positive impact on the environment? Consider ordering biodegradable, paper straws in place of having plastic ones. If you ordered a lot of paper products, maybe make a donation to plant trees in honor of your guests. Be thoughtful and intentional in using your wedding as a way to give back to the world around you.

Wedding Trend #7: Exciting Cake & Dessert Displays

Guests walk into a wedding reception, ooh and ahh, and immediately look for the cake. Why? Because the wedding cake is the jewelry of your wedding reception. It can reinforce the design by echoing your room in color and texture, or it can stand alone and provide a distinctly unique element. A great cake is certain to be a major Instagram moment. Perhaps you go with an elaborate design and detailed sugar flowers, or maybe you look for towering tiers that loom into the sky, 9 or 10 layers high.

If a major moment and expansive size is not for you, then go the other way! A selection of miniature, individual wedding cakes is sure to delight your guests. Whether set upon a wall behind a cutting cake or perhaps placed at each individual place setting, mini cakes are a great way to make a statement. Each cake can be designed slightly differently for interest, or you may serve a variety of flavors. As a bonus, doing small cakes will avoid the waste of additional layers of cake and construction.

Wedding Trend #8: Custom Attire

The new Roaring 20s are ushering in spectacular custom fashions. No bride and groom wants to be seen in something that someone else has worn. This era is going to be all about personal expression and unique details. For some, that means starting with a couture dress and customizing it. You may change a skirt, adjust beading, add or remove straps, and even piece together tops and bottoms from different designs.

Those wearing a suit or tuxedo will find themselves taking a trip to the tailor in search of custom fabrics, interesting patterns, and bold colors. There are many highly skilled artists that will travel to you, take your measurements, and create a one of a kind custom suit or tux for your wedding and rehearsal dinner. And don’t think it’s just men getting in on the fun! I’ve had brides reach out for custom suites as well, and their choices are always inspired!

Wedding Trend #9: Technology

The future is here! Technology is taking on a bigger role in all of our lives and is making its presence felt at weddings and events.

Go beyond the standard photo booth and hashtag, and instead use technology to create art installations, light shows, and to collect data from your guests while the event is taking place to help your DJ and band program the music and be responsive to the feeling of the crowd. We have built Turrel style interactive rooms (below with a fake Drake) and panels that respond to light for a show in the sky.

And be on the lookout for 5G applications. Recently I brought in a company to film a wedding reception and create a “virtual” video map of the wedding. This video was stitched together and sent to family members abroad who were able to put on goggles and “watch” the wedding as if it were they were there. This technology is expensive today, but it’s rising popularity is worth looking out for and you may find yourself using more and more tech to enhance the experience of your guests sooner than you think.

Wedding Trend #10: Feels Like Home

We live in wild and crazy times, and the Roaring 20’s always had a sense of danger and upheaval. In response to that, many people are looking to temper the drama and add elements that just make them feel at home. In fact, when they have the space, many couples are planning at-home, estate weddings.

If thee homefront isn’t quite set up to accommodate a ceremony and reception, there are certainly ways to bring elements of the home into your ballroom or decor. Sofas and couches are wonderful but expected. Bring them to life with items that the couple actually owns. Throw pillows, fur stoles, and coffee table books are a simple and easy way to surround your guests of honor with things that they love.

My entire design theory is based on being timely and timeless. I want my couples to walk into their wedding and feel as if the entire world has bent to their will, creating the most perfect environment built solely for them.

I never want my weddings to feel dated. Still, it is important that the space feels cutting edge and new. It’s important to watch the trends and be aware of them, but I make it a point to set my own and let others follow.

After all…”In a world full of trends, I want to remain a classic.” (So speaks Iman.)

PLEASE share your thoughts below. Like, Comment, Share, and Let’s Get Social! This blog is for you and I want to give you the best information, always.

Always…

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melissagarcia8 · 6 years ago

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Top Family Reunion Ideas to Top All Others

The people will always make the place. For as much as world-class vacation packages can promise to entertain and impress, experienced travelers know that even the globe’s greatest destinations are really only as memorable as the family or friends you elect to bring along with you. The recipe for a truly unforgettable vacation calls not only for an awe-inspiring location, but also for a travel entourage worthy of the memories. Given that family vacations are unique in their ability to commemorate common bonds, resurrect familial friendships and establish a new generation of worthwhile memories, consider this your invitation to pair a worthwhile destination with a deserving audience. As long as the people make the place, a family reunion is the perfect way to celebrate some of Earth’s foremost sights and sounds! Below are a few destinations that Discover Corps has found successful for family reunions in the past:

Explore the Jungle in Costa Rica

Afford yourself and your entire family the holistic Costa Rican experience where the entire party will contribute to a worthwhile enterprise, while enjoying flora and fauna you won’t find anywhere else on the planet. An eight-day, fully immersive endeavor is your ticket to authentic Costa Rican hospitality, where you’ll spend time making the acquaintance of rainforests, hot springs and open shorelines. When you’re not introducing your toes to soft, white sands or taking in indigenous wildlife, the entire family can bond over a shared wildlife rescue center volunteer experience, where together you will care for injured or impaired jungle creatures. Find yourself face-to-face with jungle sloths, spider monkeys and marmosets, an educational opportunity and time contribution all rolled into one. There’s so much to love about Costa Rica, from your opportunity to learn the local farming customs of La Fortuna, to morning hikes under rainforest canopies and around volcanoes. All in all, your drive for a top-tier family vacation experience is satisfied the moment you take to Costa Rican soils.

Try Costa Rica: Family Volunteer Vacation

Sail the Seas of The Galápagos Islands

One of the seven natural wonders of the world, the Galápagos Islands provide another sight-worthy destination for the entire family to enjoy. A family reunion in the Galapagos, a volcano-laden archipelago decorating the Pacific Ocean and home to diverse, untold speciation, is a lifelong memory in the making. When visiting these islands, you and the entire family witness restricted sights and sounds, a dream vacation that for most remains a dream. Beyond just the fantastic wildlife, a family reunion needs comfort. Five-star hospitality accommodations leave you in wonderful proximity to staple attractions like the Quito Cathedral and Independence Square, perfect for family or individual activities. On this trip, you and the entire family are provided every opportunity to learn about local sustainability customs, harvest techniques, smart water usage and more. And of course, you’ll catch sight of a wildlife portfolio available in the Galápagos, and nowhere else. Species like the blue footed boobie and the Galápagos giant tortoise await your discovery in this ideal family vacation setting.

Try: Galápagos: Wildlife Odyssey

Dance the Night Away in Cuba

Take the entire family to Cuba for a synthesis of culture and cuisine that will make lifelong memories easier than ever to fashion. Havana is a tribute to all things historical in Cuba, with an eye for the sensory. Impress the entire family with a city preserved in its own era, where you punch your ticket toward Havana art, music, and society. Find yourself in love with Havana’s inviting atmosphere by the end of your first day, when you and the entire family will visit the buzzing Malecon boardwalk and Vedado neighborhood, before a quality dinner with cityscape panoramas. Things only get better on days two and three, Lloyd join your family in frequenting a UNESCO World Heritage Site and a vintage jazz cafe alike. And after you sample the culinary products from Sloppy Joe’s Bar, we promise you’ll end up with a new standard for genuine Cuban cuisine. And best of all, stay casas particulares, or family-run bed and breakfasts, so each day of your family reunion starts the right way – with home-cooked meals from locally sourced ingredients and a healthy dose of Cuban optimism.

Try: Cuba: Havana Weekend Getaway

Explore the Culture of India

You’ll note the unique aesthetic from your first moment on Indian soil. While this may not jump out as your typical family reunion destination, India is incredibly accommodating when you have a plan of action. On this trip, you’ll join protective efforts for the Tiger Watch. Through involvement with a local tiger sanctuary, bolstered by efforts from communities and associated charities, you and the whole family will be gifted a holistic perspective of natural conservation efforts, including a drive to sustain tiger populations in the country. You’ll even contribute to tiger monitoring campaigns, an engaging, invigorating experience for any and all family members during your reunion. Your time in India is also characterized by constant movement, so if your family is an active one, you’ve met a worthy destination. One day, you’re snapping photos of crocodiles and leopards in Ranthambore; the following afternoon, you’re gazing upon tiger populations in the National Park. At the end of busy days, family reunions deserve distinctive accommodations that settles the entire family, making having a plan that much more important!

Try: India: Wildlife Volunteer Adventure

Contribute to Global Sustainability with Your Entire Family

Meet your family’s aspirations for adventure head-on, and provide each member with the satisfactory travel experience of a lifetime whenever you make a family reunion vacation with purpose your getaway of choice. Pair a family reunion with Indian landscapes, Cuban-sourced coffee or Costa Rican action, all with the added bonus of contributing to worthy environmental and sustainable causes, helps your time together take on new dimensions. For more destination guides and accommodation reviews, hotels and vacation rentals, check out Trip101.

John Gallagher is an english and theology double major from San Diego, California. He currently works as the lead sports editor for the Troubadour Newspaper, and serves as the head script writer and editor for university Multimedia organization, the Baron Broadcast. He has also contributed to social content platform The Odyssey as a regular content creator. Gallagher was raised in San Diego, California, and has travelled his home state extensively. He recognizes In-N-Out Burger as the national treasure it is, and misses California’s perfect climactic conditions on a regular basis while at school in Steubenville, Ohio.

The post Top Family Reunion Ideas to Top All Others appeared first on Volunteer Vacations | Discover Corps.

from Traveling News https://discovercorps.com/blog/top-family-reunion-ideas-top-others/

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joshuamshea84 · 6 years ago

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Top Family Reunion Ideas to Top All Others

Explore the Jungle in Costa Rica

Try Costa Rica: Family Volunteer Vacation

Sail the Seas of The Galápagos Islands

Try: Galápagos: Wildlife Odyssey

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gr-sabrina28-stuff-blog · 7 years ago

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The Growth of an Empire

“Bow down,” she commanded, and society followed.

Beyoncé reigns over contemporary media as a queen would her empire.

Her acclaim has reached a level where last names are unnecessary and unfamiliarity is unheard of.

But like most empires, Beyoncé’s wasn’t built in a day. Beyoncé is someone who’s been in the spotlight for decades.

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But since the beginning, she’s proven that she’s a force. A force that contours popular opinion. Throughout the years, Beyoncé been able to cultivate an image and brand for herself like no other. Beyoncé remains an influencer with an impact that seeps into nearly all aspects of modern day media—music, advertising, politics, branding—her impact extends past her actions and the music she produces.

The Growth of an Empire:

Beyoncé Giselle Knowles hails from the third ward of Houston, Texas where she started performing at the age of 7.

After many victories at local competitions for her vocals and dancing, Beyoncé formed the adolescent vocal group that would ultimately lead to the creation of one of the most popular female R&B groups of our generation: Destiny’s Child. Destiny’s Child gained momentum throughout the 90’s and was Beyoncé’s first debut to the public eye. With hits like “Say My Name” and “Survivor,” Destiny’s Child was making a name for themselves but Beyoncé led the pack.

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When the girls decided to go their separate ways in 2001, Beyoncé focused on launching her solo career. With the release of her first full-length solo album Dangerously in Love in 2003, Beyoncé blasted to the top of Billboard charts and was awarded 5 Grammy’s for the 10 songs on the multi-platinum album. She had certainly made a splash.

The public got their first taste of Queen Bey and the obsession began. But Beyoncé caught wind and used it as an opportunity to demonstrate just how much talent she had. Beyoncé backed up her next album with an award-winning performance in the movie-musical Dreamgirls, where she was regarded as having the “voice of an angel.”

With Dreamgirls and later her role as Etta James in Cadillac Records, a musical biopic that explored the heyday of Chicago’s Chess Label, Beyoncé unveiled two distinct personalities. She then spent her next two albums “I Am… Sasha Fierce” and “4” highlighting the beauty in her musical diversity and exploring mainstream pop alongside traditional R&B. Ubiquitous hits like “Single Ladies” and “Irreplaceable” proved her staying power, but were vague enough to feel nearly anonymous which made them so relatable and applicable to all kinds of listeners. Beyoncé continuously shaped her persona and with her incredible voice, became an icon of fierceness and perfection. But she didn’t stop there.

Total Domination:

What I’ve noticed, is that Beyoncé’s total domination of commercial media comes from the fact that she has permeated so many different facets of it. Not only does she reign over the music industry with several Grammy’s and multi-platinum albums or break the internet with a single photo, but her persona and brand have dominated industries not directly related to the music she produces. For example, the fashion industry: Beyoncé has not only achieved enormous acclaim for the fashion choices she makes on and off stage herself, but with the release of her brand IVY PARK, she received that acclaim for dressing others. Beyoncé now has people associating her with music, movies, advertisements, and clothing.

Nobody’s Sidekick:

After marrying Jay-Z in 2008, it would have been easy to retire into wifedom/motherhood. But there was no way Beyoncé would be doing either of those things. By the time she married Jay-Z, she had already begun riding the high of the acclaim she had achieved. Beyoncé was already considered Queen Bey/Beysus so when she married Jay-Z people thought the rapper/CEO was finally someone who could match her acclaim. Some even thought that her success would be dwarfed by Jay-Z’s. Little did they know that Beyoncé was nowhere close to being finished building her empire. With their marriage, Jay-Z and Beyoncé became the King and Queen of the music industry. But Beyoncé very intentionally kept her own identity and control—even in her song she tells listeners “don’t think I’m just his little wife” (“Flawless”). Through their various partnerships, collaborations, and projects, Jay-Z and Beyoncé have achieved so much in terms of music, music production/software (Tidal), and mutual success. They often work together to generate revenue and acclaim. In 2014, the On the Run Tour was a joint tour for Beyoncé and Jay-Z. Stadiums across the US were sold out because this tour pulled from two very large and distinct fan bases. By working together, Beyoncé and Jay-Z were a united powerhouse of talent and commercial genius. I went to the concert and I can personally attest that it was incredible. Their fusion of “Young Forever” and “Halo” made me cry.

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The Album Autobiography:

The release of Beyoncé’s 5th album: “Beyoncé”, premiered her own life story. “Ring Off” gave us insight about Beyoncé’s parents and how their relationship affected her views of love. “Pretty Hurts” showed us the evolution of her self-image and confidence and condemned the idea of perfection, saying it’s the “disease of a nation.” “Drunk in Love” told us about the wild beginnings of her relationship with rapper and CEO Jay-Z. “Blue” cataloged Beyoncé’s debut into the unbounded joys of motherhood. “Flawless” was Beyoncé proving that the struggles and oppression she surmounted to attain success have not kept her from attaining everything she has ever wanted.

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In “Flawless,” she also addresses the deep-seeded sexism that precludes women from success and persuades them to accept the belief that they are incapable. She breaks the barrier between herself and listeners as she speaks directly to them throughout the song—telling them to never forget their dreams of being in “her world.” In this song, there’s a voice that reads out how society encourages sexism: “teaching girls to shrink themselves” and “aspire to marriage” but then Beyoncé spends the rest of the song refuting those claims and empowering women to surround themselves with people who make them feel “god damn fine” so they can be the flawless beings they are. Flawless is Beyoncé’s anthem of empowerment. This album in particular resonated with audiences like myself because in it, Beyoncé not only confronts preconceptions about fame and herself head on, but she empowers listeners by using personal experiences from her background and family to do it.

A New Era:

Beyoncé’s string of solo albums had established her as a top-tier pop star able to popularize ballads, high energy dance songs, and female empowerment tracks. But, as she grew in popularity, it became harder to understand what her actual thoughts were. But with the release of “Formation” we saw an unmistakable shift in Beyoncé’s persona and demeanor. And then with the release of Lemonade and her visual album, Beyoncé shook mainstream media. In Lemonade, she tore down walls and exposed a new side of herself to listeners: a woman reinvigorated with the confidence to express her feminism and black pride. Beyoncé highlighted topics that society chooses to repress as too taboo as she explored oppression, infidelity, and raw imperfection with complete candor. To me and many alike, this was refreshing and empowering. But some were left skeptical of the sudden political nature and anger within the music. The album was controversial and designed to be thought provoking. But because of her immense impact in commercial media, Beyoncé’s honesty spurred conversation about issues that were once considered provocative. Lemonade was effectively an extension and elaboration upon the tidbits of political activism and personal empowerment that we saw sprinkled throughout Beyoncé’s other albums and performances—it was an extension of Beyoncé standing in front of towering text that read “FEMINIST” while she performed “Flawless.”

It was an extension of Beyoncé’s attempts to differentiate her success from that of Jay-Z’s. It was an extension of Beyoncé’s love of breaking the internet with a single photo that no one saw coming and just generally doing what she wants—not what society tells her to. Which is exactly who we love: artists who defy societal expectations and blow them away at the same time. Lemonade is a representation of Beyoncé’s growth and evolution. It’s her effectively exposing her humanity and showing you that she feels same raw pain, joy, and humanity that each of us do in our lives. As you listen to it, it’s easy to feel as though you’ve grown with her just a little bit.

These feelings only grow stronger when you see her perform in person. And it’s not just me saying that….

https://www.buzzfeed.com/chantalfollins/beyonce?utm_term=.yjdNQOa0K#.ttP0e5pBV

The Formation Tour was truly incredible and, in some sense, life changing. I left feeling empowered and unapologetically confident. Confident in my strength as a woman who defies conventional standards of beauty. Confident with my wit and brilliance. And confident that with hard work, nothing would preclude me from success. Its funny, that a concert could make you feel existentially empowered, but that’s exactly how powerful Beyoncé is. Its the reason people like me try to emulate her.

With no warning, Beyoncé dropped Lemonade and showed the world that her voice and truth were not to be silenced.

Needless to say, Beyoncé is a cultural icon.

By: Sabrina Grandhi

Works Cited:

https://www.billboard.com/artists/top-100

http://thebeyhive.tumblr.com/page/2

https://www.allmusic.com/artist/beyoncé-mn0000761179/biography

https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2013/08/how-beyonc-keeps-the-internet-obsessed-with-her/278681/

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/apr/29/beyonce-lemonade-jay-z-explainer

http://www.atelierdore.com/theminis/the-evolution-of-beyonce/

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