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murdereraisuha · 4 years ago

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Actually, Jamil is Snow White

Now that I have your attention with my batshit theory, let me explain it along with my other predictions for the future events of chapter 5 in a 2,500+ word mess of an essay.

The past chapters have all correlated to the plot of the original Disney movie in some way. So how does chapter 5 correlate with Snow White? For the movie's story, it starts with Snow White living with her stepmother, who is vain, self-centered, and afraid that one day Snow White will surpass her beauty. The Queen makes efforts to suppress Snow White's beauty by making her a scullery maid, but Snow White does eventually surpass her. This causes the Queen to order her Huntsman to kill Snow White, but the Huntsman can't bring himself to do it and he presents the queen with a decoy heart instead.

What's interesting about TWST is that Neige has already surpassed Vil at the very beginning. Furthermore, rather than focus solely on his own beauty and beat down potential rivals, Vil attempts to nurture the beauty of the rest of his dorm and the VDC team. So how in the world do we correlate the events of the chapter to the original movie? Well, we know from previous chapters that the person twisted from a character might not be the one to actually take that character's role in the story. Though Farena exists, the one Leona tries to sabotage is Malleus. Though Rielle exists, the one Azul makes a special deal with is Yuu. Even though Neige has played a bigger part in the story so far compared to Farena and Rielle, he still might not actually be the Snow White of this story. So who are our possible candidates here?

As the person meant to rival Neige's cute appeal, Epel is the first one to pop into mind. Perhaps the NRC team's performance during the VDC goes well enough that Epel suddenly gets tons of popularity. The internet latches onto him, so much so that, at least temporarily, he ends up surpassing both Vil and Neige in Mira's beauty calculation. However, this wouldn't make sense. The Queen is supposed to hate and sabotage the Snow White, and Vil has no reason to do that to Epel after spending so much effort helping him with the express goal of having him beat out Neige. So who else?

While browsing Pixiv one night, I came across a funny comic (it was long ago enough that I don't remember how to find it again, unfortunately) where Azul actually did livestream Jamil's evil monologue in chapter 4. Rather than becoming a big scandal though, it actually becomes famous because of how good-looking Jamil is, so much so that Vil finds out about it because Jamil's name is the one Mira tells him when Vil does a beauty check. Vil proceeds to change his plans for the VDC by dumping Epel and choosing Jamil as the sole main vocal so that Jamil is his "poison apple" against Neige instead.

With the recent update, Vil's plan for the VDC is officially finalized, so that comic is firmly in AU territory. However, what if something similar happens? The NRC team's performance goes amazing. However, it is not Vil or Epel that gain attention, but Jamil, the 3rd main vocalist. Against Vil and everyone else's expectations and plans, the internet goes wild over this mysterious pretty boy, boosting Jamil into the position of most beautiful. Even Neige had to spend some amount of time getting gigs and whatever to attain his fame, but Jamil has done basically nothing outside the VDC and now he's suddenly the best... How would Vil feel about that?

With the whole trend of the previous overblot causing the next, this theory of Jamil = Snow White makes sense. Though they could always make it so it's Neige and Epel doing the stuff and then at the end Jamil delivers a speech or something that gives the final push to overblot, it would be a lot more interesting (and funny) for Jamil to be thrust into the spotlight earlier on and be a main reason for Vil's overblot.

However, all of this assumes that the beginning of Snow White correlates with the beginning of chapter 5. Let's consider that the beginning of chapter 5 actually correlates with the situation later in the movie when the Queen is plotting to get Snow White with the poison apple. In this situation, Neige would actually be the Snow White of the story. However, unless we pull some funky timeline stuff, the theory I've seen of Rook betraying Vil wouldn't happen then, since we're already past that point in the movie. So what is next? In the movie, Snow White bites the apple and falls asleep. The dwarfs return to their cottage and chase the Queen, who eventually falls to her death when a lightning bolt destroys the precipice she's cornered on. (Fun fact from Wikipedia, her scream while falling was reused for Sleeping Beauty when Maleficent gets stabbed by the Sword of Truth). Anyway, the dwarfs proceed to put Snow White in the glass coffin until a year later when the prince kisses her and takes her to his castle.

Welp, look here, we have the dwarves in TWST, so they could definitely fulfill the try to hurt Vil part here. But what would lead them to do that? Assuming that as RSA students they are heroic, they would hurt Vil if they felt that he had hurt Neige. Vil's plan for the VDC competition seems to just be performing like normal and hoping that their hard work and effort will shine through and win them the competition, so either something has to happen that causes a last-minute change to that plan or some sort of misunderstanding (Vil getting canceled) happens. How would a misunderstanding happen? It could originate from fans angry that Neige didn't win, but Vil has plenty of his own fans to counter that and make an even-sided battle. Some new falling out between Vil and Epel could occur, resulting in either Epel himself going and hurting Vil's reputation or someone else (the media or Neige) seeing Epel distraught and believing that Vil is abusing him in some way. If it's Neige that could be interesting since it'd kinda be a situation where Epel is Snow White and Neige is his Huntsman. Neige x Epel new otp??? haha anyway, there's also the possibility that the RSA students are not heroic, and the dwarves go and make rumors about Vil themselves as an underhanded strategy to give Neige the victory.

All this talk is making me forget about my boy Jamil though. How would he fit in here? Again, from the previous overblots, we know that Jamil will likely oppose Vil in some way. We have also established that this chapter 5's start = the Queen's poison apple plan's start, so Neige is the Snow White. The remaining roles for Jamil are the dwarves (unlikely since we have actual dwarves), the huntsman (unlikely since timeline and also Rook exists), and finally, the prince. Jamil x Neige new otp??? lmao anyway, What would this role mean for his involvement in the story? Well, the prince only shows up at the end to wake up Snow White, so that would make this a situation like I mentioned before with Jamil just showing up to do a speech or something that pushes Vil over the edge. Boring, what else could we do?

Well, what about the original fairy tale of Snow White? In there, the dwarves don't kill the Queen. Instead, she lives until the day of Snow White and the prince's wedding, where the prince makes her dance in red-hot slippers until she dies as punishment for trying to kill Snow White. Why would Jamil give enough of a shit about Neige to go against Vil like that though? Well, y'know what fuck it let's squeeze someone else into the role of Snow White. Kalim certainly has the hair color for it. Since Kalim is just one of the backup vocals and hasn't had much going on aside from his personal character development this chapter idk what Vil could possibly do to him. Perhaps something pertaining to his family's wealth and fame? Whatever it is, some sort of threat to Kalim would be enough motivation for Jamil to do something to Vil. Interaction between Kalim and Jamil would also serve to finish up whatever development is going on between them. Seriously bro I know Jamil was probably just stalking Kalim in that one episode to make sure he's safe but that scene is really haunting me WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Whatever, let's keep this circus rolling with some Rook discussion! Again, we got the theory that Rook will betray Vil like the Huntsman betrayed the Queen. To discuss this idea, we gotta discuss Rook's motivations first. In episode 5-27, quoting from the translation on the wiki by Kanade Musings, Rook claims that "being a mere spectator to beautiful people and beautiful things provide [him] with such happiness" and he is "here to offer what help [he] can to help save beauty." However, he points out that "Vil does not need [Rook] to save him;" instead, what Rook wants "to protect is not Vil himself, but rather the 'beauty' he possesses." The chapter ends with Rook saying that the others would understand what he's saying if they encountered a "beauty that is blinding" and would "bring light to [their] lives."

So, with this information, would Rook betray Vil and why would he betray Vil? Well, there's the possibility that RSA's performance wows him and he switches to protecting Neige's beauty. However, this doesn't feel right to me. Neige is very famous. His first appearance was in a commercial that Cater got even when not specifically trying to find stuff on Neige. I would seriously doubt that Rook has not already done research into Neige and observed what beauty he has. If Rook doesn't already find Neige extraordinarily beautiful, I doubt that a single dance performance could transform his opinion of him. However, what if that was compounded by some loss of Vil's beauty? However, would Rook allow that to happen? He expressly said he wishes to protect Vil's beauty. If Vil lost beauty, would Rook really abandon him, or would he work to bring Vil back to his senses and restore his beauty?

Now, going back to the idea of Rook doing a betrayal, we already established way back at the beginning of this monstrosity (if you made it this far please take a hydration break or something alright? take care of yourself I love you) that Neige is not necessarily the Snow White of the story. So, we have the possibility of Rook turning against Vil on Epel's behalf, which... doesn't seem right. Idk it might be because I still just can't envision a scenario with Rook outright betraying Vil. Again, Rook has spent a bunch of time observing Epel and watching him grow. What could Epel possibly do that could mega boost his beauty in Rook's eyes? He's spent time observing Jamil too, though not as much as he observes some other people. Like, Rook is a hunter, extremely skilled at assessing targets and figuring out what makes them tick. For his opinion of someone to seriously change, it would require equally exceptional deception or change on the target's part. Seriously, why would he betray Vil?

Okay, how about we consider what exactly Rook finds beautiful. As we know from the auditions (ボーテ！100点！), Rook was able to find beauty in every person's performance, no matter how clumsy or unskilled they were. So, we get the sense that at the very least, Rook considers things beautiful that most people wouldn't consider beautiful. Then, what makes Vil beautiful to him? We know Vil is beautiful by normal person standards, but Rook doesn't go by normal person standards. Does Rook feel drawn to his determination? His power? Something we don't know about yet? I don't think we know for sure, so we don't know what it would take for Vil to lose beauty in Rook's eyes.

Well, there's a part of Rook that hasn't really come up in the main story yet: his fascination with the nonhuman students. This just brings up more questions. Since Vil is human... as far as we know... Rook's behavior towards him is motivated by something different than that which motivates his hunts, even if that something different is just a different way of being beautiful. ARGHH I DON'T KNOWWWWW we're going into his voice lines

Alright, ceremonial robes home tap 3 (from twstarchives): "There is beauty that some are just born with, but the beauty you work hard to achieve holds immeasurable power. Isn't that right?" Okay now we're getting somewhere, he appreciates hard work! Oh yeah didn't Vil say some stuff cause he felt defeated by Neige being better even though Vil put in all this hard work? The development of that sort of attitude would probably constitute a loss of beauty. Hard work would therefore also make someone beautiful in Rook's eyes.

So, who works hard? Yep, Jamil we're bringing you in again. Remember, a change is needed to drive the plot and prompt a change in Rook. Haven't we had a major change in Jamil's attitude already? Starting with having to funnel all his hard work into Kalim and keeping himself under Kalim, after chapter 4 Jamil is now channeling his work into himself and finally showing off his true talents. Given that Rook can't possibly stalk everyone in NRC in-depth, he likely doesn't have a complete idea of Jamil's capabilities especially given how Jamil was specifically trying to stay under the radar. This may give Jamil the possibility to surprise Rook with his full power, potentially shifting Rook's opinion enough to give him a significant appreciation of Jamil's beauty.

With all this information, I think I can try and build a rough simulation of events. So, the VDC teams do their performances and wow the crowd. In the meantime while the judges are deciding who wins, some shit goes down: Vil gets canceled or something, Jamil gains popularity, idk something with Neige & the dwarves. Vil's mental health takes a turn for the worst and he resorts to underhandedness. He enlists Rook for some plot against Jamil or Neige. However, Kalim gets caught in the crossfire. Inspired by Jamil's beauty and efforts to help Kalim, Rook ends up going against the plan and Vil. Vil overblots, blah blah backstory, then the judges release the results of the competition, and the winding down/aftermath/party time is the 2nd day of the festival whatever when the gang can go see all the other booths and stuff.

Even after all this I sincerely doubt my final prediction here will come to pass but y'know, all about the journey not the destination. Honestly, I thought of the title of this post when I was only partway through like "Haha isn't this theory about Jamil being Snow White so out there" but nope that's actually a foundation of my ideas now. What am I doing??? Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading this mess. Please feel free to message me or something if this rant gave you any ideas that you wanna share.

#twst analysis #twst #twisted wonderland #vil schoenheit #jamil viper #neige leblanche #rook hunt #epel felmier #twst theories

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yobaba30 · 3 years ago

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Stolen from Twitter

I owe my Trump-supporting friends an apology. I’ve been critical of the Trump presidency these last four years, and am still exhausted from the experience. But to be fair, President Trump wasn’t that bad, other than when he incited an insurrection against the government, mismanaged a pandemic that killed nearly half a million Americans, separated children from their families, lost those children in the bureaucracy, tear-gassed peaceful protesters on Lafayette Square so he could hold a photo op holding a Bible in front of a church, tried to block all Muslims from entering the country, got impeached, got impeached again, had the worst jobs record of any president in modern history, pressured Ukraine to dig dirt on Joe Biden, fired the FBI director for investigating his ties to Russia, bragged about firing the FBI director on TV, took Vladimir Putin’s word over the US intelligence community, diverted military funding to build his wall, caused the longest government shutdown in US history, called Black Lives Matter a “symbol of hate,” lied nearly 30,000 times, banned transgender people from serving in the military, ejected reporters from the White House briefing room who asked tough questions, vetoed the defense funding bill because it renamed military bases named for Confederate soldiers, refused to release his tax returns, increased the national debt by nearly $8 trillion, had three of the highest annual trade deficits in U.S. history, called veterans and soldiers who died in combat losers and suckers, coddled the leader of Saudi Arabia after he ordered the execution and dismembering of a US-based journalist, refused to concede the 2020 election, hired his unqualified daughter and son-in-law to work in the White House, walked out of an interview with Lesley Stahl, called neo-Nazis “very fine people,” suggested that people should inject bleach into their bodies to fight COVID, abandoned our allies the Kurds to Turkey, pushed through massive tax cuts for the wealthiest but balked at helping working Americans, incited anti-lockdown protestors in several states at the height of the pandemic, withdrew the US from the Paris climate accords, withdrew the US from the Iranian nuclear deal, withdrew withdrew the US from the Trans Pacific Partnership which was designed to block China’s advances, insulted his own Cabinet members on Twitter, pushed the leader of Montenegro out of the way during a photo op, failed to reiterate US commitment to defending NATO allies, called Haiti and African nations “shithole” countries, called the city of Baltimore the “worst in the nation,” claimed that he single handedly brought back the phrase “Merry Christmas” even though it hadn’t gone anywhere, forced his Cabinet members to praise him publicly like some cult leader believed he should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, berated and belittled his hand-picked Attorney General when he recused himself from the Russia probe, suggested the US should buy Greenland, colluded with Mitch McConnell to push through federal judges and two Supreme Court justices after supporting efforts to prevent his predecessor from appointing judges, repeatedly called the media “enemies of the people,” claimed that if we tested fewer people for COVID we’d have fewer cases, violated the emoluments clause, thought that Nambia was a country, told Bob Woodward in private that the coronavirus was a big deal but then downplayed it in public, called his exceedingly faithful vice president a “p---y” for following the Constitution, nearly got us into a war with Iran after threatening them by tweet, nominated a corrupt head the EPA, nominated a corrupt head of HHS, nominated a corrupt head of the Interior Department, nominated a corrupt head of the USDA, praised dictators and authoritarians around the world while criticizing allies, refused to allow the presidential transition to begin, insulted war hero John McCain – even after his death, spent an obscene amount of time playing golf after criticizing Barack Obama for playing (far less) golf while president, falsely claimed that he won the 2016 popular vote, called the Muslim mayor of London a “stone cold loser,” falsely claimed that he won the 2016 popular vote, called the Muslim mayor of London a “stone cold loser,” falsely claimed that he turned down being Time’s Man of the Year, considered firing special counsel Robert Mueller on several occasions, mocked wearing face masks to guard against transmitting COVID, locked Congress out of its constitutional duty to confirm Cabinet officials by hiring acting ones, used a racist dog whistle by calling COVID the “China virus,” hired and associated with numerous shady figures that were eventually convicted of federal offenses including his campaign manager and national security adviser, pardoned several of his shady associates, gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to two congressman who amplified his batshit crazy conspiracy theories, got into telephone fight with the leader of Australia(!), had a Secretary of State who called him a moron, forced his press secretary to claim without merit that his was the largest inauguration crowd in history, botched the COVID vaccine rollout, tweeted so much dangerous propaganda that Twitter eventually banned him, charged the Secret Service jacked-up rates at his properties, constantly interrupted Joe Biden in their first presidential debate, claimed that COVID would “magically” disappear, called a U.S. Senator “Pocahontas,” used his Twitter account to blast Nordstrom when it stopped selling Ivanka’s merchandise, opened up millions of pristine federal lands to development and drilling, got into a losing tariff war with China that forced US taxpayers to bail out farmers, claimed that his losing tariff war was a win for the US, ignored or didn’t even take part in daily intelligence briefings, blew off honoring American war dead in France because it was raining, redesigned Air Force One to look like the Trump Shuttle, got played by Kim Jung Un and his “love letters,” threatened to go after social media companies in clear violation of the Constitution, botched the response to Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico, threw paper towels at Puerto Ricans when he finally visited them, pressured the governor and secretary of state of Part 2 cont… Georgia to “find” him votes, thought that the Virgin islands had a President, drew on a map with a Sharpie to justify his inaccurate tweet that Alabama was threatened by a hurricane, allowed White House staff to use personal email accounts for official businesses after blasting Hillary Clinton for doing the same thing, rolled back regulations that protected the public from mercury and asbestos, pushed regulators to waste time studying snake-oil remedies for COVID, rolled back regulations that stopped coal companies from dumping waste into rivers held blatant campaign rallies at the White House, tried to take away millions of Americans’ health insurance because the law was named for a Black man, refused to attend his successors’ inauguration, nominated the worst Education Secretary in history threatened judges who didn’t do what he wanted, attacked Dr. Anthony Fauci, promised that Mexico would pay for the wall (it didn’t), allowed political hacks to overrule government scientists on major reports on climate change and other issues, struggled navigating a ramp after claiming his opponent was feeble, called an African-American Congresswoman “low IQ,” threatened to withhold federal aid from states and cities with Democratic leaders, went ahead with rallies filled with maskless supporters in the middle of a pandemic, claimed that legitimate investigations of his wrongdoing were “witch hunts,” seemed to demonstrate a belief that there were airports during the American Revolution, demanded “total loyalty” from the FBI director, praised a conspiracy theory that Democrats are Satanic pedophiles, completely gutted the Voice of America, placed a political hack in charge of the Postal Service, claimed without evidence that the Obama administration bugged Trump Tower, suggested that the US should allow more people from places like Norway into the country, suggested that COVID wasn’t that bad because he recovered with the help of top government doctors and treatments not available to the public, overturned energy conservation standards that even industry supported, reduced the number of refugees the US accepts, insulted various members of Congress and the media with infantile nicknames, gave Rush Limbaugh a Presidential medal of Freedom at the State of the Union address, named as head of federal personnel a 29-year old who’d previously been fired from the White House for allegations of financial improprieties, eliminated the White House office of pandemic respon used soldiers as campaign props, fired any advisor who made the mistake of disagreeing with him, demanded the Pentagon throw him a Soviet-style military parade, hired a shit ton of white nationalists, politicized the civil service, did absolutely nothing after Russia hacked US falsely said the Boy Scouts called him to say his bizarre Jamboree speech was the best speech ever given to the Scouts, claimed that Black people would overrun the suburbs if Biden won, insulted reporters of color, insulted women reporters, insulted women reporters of color, suggested he was fine with China’s oppression of the Uighurs, attacked the Supreme Court when it ruled against him, summoned Pennsylvania state legislative leaders to the White House to pressure them to overturn the election, spent countless hours every day watching Fox News, refused to allow his administration to comply with Congressional subpoenas, hired Rudy Giuliani as his lawyer, tried to punish Amazon because the Jeff Bezos-owned Washington Post wrote negative stories about him, acted as if the Attorney General of the United States was his personal attorney, attempted to get the federal government to defend him in a libel lawsuit from a women who accused him of sexual assault, held private meetings with Vladimir Putin without staff present, didn’t disclose his private meetings with Vladimir Putin so that the US had to find out via Russian media, stopped holding press briefings for months at a time, “ordered” US companies to leave China even though he has no such power, led a political party that couldn’t even be bothered to draft a policy platform, claimed preposterously that Article II of the Constitution gave him absolute powers, tried to pressure the U.K. to hold the British Open at his golf course, suggested that the government nuke hurricanes, suggested that wind turbines cause cancer, said that he had a special aptitude for science, fired the head of election cyber security after he said that the 2020 election was secure, blurted out classified information to Russian officials, tried to force the G7 to hold their meeting at his failing golf resort in Florida, fired the acting attorney general when she refused to go along with his unconstitutional Muslim travel ban, hired Stephen Miller, openly discussed national security issues in the dining room at Mar-a-Lago where everyone could hear them, interfered with plans to relocate the FBI because a new development there might compete with his hotel, abandoned Iraqi refugees who’d helped the U.S. during the war, tried to get Russia back into the G7, held a COVID super spreader event in the Rose Garden, seemed to believe that Frederick Douglass is still alive, lost 60 election fraud cases in court including before judges he had nominated, falsely claimed that factories were reopening when they weren’t, shamelessly exploited terror attacks in Europe to justify his anti-immigrant policies, still hasn’t come up with a healthcare plan, still hasn’t come up with an infrastructure plan despite repeated “Infrastructure,” forced Secret Service agents to drive him around Walter Reed while contagious with COVID, told the Proud Boys to “stand back and stand by,” fucked up the Census, withdrew the U.S. from the World Health Organization in the middle of a pandemic did so few of his duties that his press staff were forced to state on his daily schedule “President Trump will work from early in the morning until late in the evening. He will make many calls and have many meetings,” allowed his staff to repeatedly violate the Hatch Act, Part 3 continues… seemed not to know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican, stood before sacred CIA wall of heroes and bragged about his election win, constantly claimed he was treated worse than any president which presumably includes four that were assassinated and his predecessor whose legitimacy and birthplace were challenged by a racist reality TV show star named Donald Trump, claimed Andrew Jackson could’ve stopped the Civil War even though he died 16 years before it happened, said that any opinion poll showing him behind was fake, claimed that other countries laughed at us before he became president when several world leaders were literally laughing at him, claimed that the military was out of ammunition before he became President, created a commission to whitewash American history, retweeted anti-Islam videos from one of the most racist people in Britain, claimed ludicrously that the Pulse nightclub shooting wouldn’t have happened if someone there had a gun even though there was an armed security guard there, hired a senior staffer who cited the non-existent Bowling Green Massacre as a reason to ban Muslims, had a press secretary who claimed that Nazi Germany never used chemical weapons even though every sane human being knows they used gas to kill millions of Jews and others, bilked the Secret Service for higher than market rates when they had to stay at Trump properties, apparently sold pardons on his way out of the White House, stripped protective status from 59,000 Haitians, falsely claimed Biden wanted to defund the police, said that the head of the CDC didn’t know what he was talking about, tried to rescind protection from DREAMers, gave himself an A+ for his handling of the pandemic, tried to start a boycott of Goodyear tires due to an Internet hoax, said U.S. rates of COVID would be lower if you didn’t count blue states, deported U.S. veterans who served their country but were undocumented, claimed he did more for African Americans than any president since Lincoln, touted a “super-duper” secret “hydrosonic” missile which may or may not be a new “hypersonic” missile or may not exist at all, retweeted a gif calling Biden a pedophile, forced through security clearances for his family, suggested that police officers should rough up suspects, suggested that Biden was on performance-enhancing drugs, tried to stop transgender students from being able to use school bathrooms in line with their gender, suggested the US not accept COVID patients from a cruise ship because it would make US numbers look higher, nominated a climate change sceptic to chair the committee advising the White House on environmental policy, retweeted a video doctored to look like Biden had played a song called “Fuck tha Police” at a campaign event, hugged a disturbingly large number of U.S. flags, accused Democrats of “treason” for not applauding his State of the Union address, claimed that the FBI failed to capture the Parkland school shooter because they were “spending too much time” on Russia, mocked the testimony of Dr Christine Blasey Ford when she accused Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault, obsessed over low-flow toilets, ordered the rerelease of more COVID vaccines when there weren’t any to release, called for the construction of a bizarre garden of heroes with statutes of famous dead Americans as well as at least one Canadian (Alex Trebek), hijacked Washington’s July 4th celebrations to give a partisan speech, took advice from the MyPillow guy, claimed that migrants seeking a better life in the US were dangerous caravans of drug dealers and rapists, said nothing when Vladimir Putin poisoned a leading opposition, never seemed to heed the advice of his wife’s “Be Best” campaign, falsely claimed that mail-in voting is fraudulent, announced a precipitous withdrawal of troops from Syria which not only handed Russia and ISIS a win but also prompted his defense secretary to resign in protest, insulted the leader of Canada, insulted the leader of France, insulted the leader of Britain, insulted the leader of Germany, insulted the leader of Sweden (Sweden!!), falsely claimed credit for getting NATO members to increase their share of dues, blew off two Asia summits even though they were held virtually, continued lying about spending lots of time at Ground Zero with 9/11 responders, said that the Japanese would sit back and watch their “Sony televisions” if the US were ever attacked, left a NATO summit early in a huff, stared directly into an eclipse even though everyone over the age of 5 knows not to do that, called himself a very stable genius despite significant evidence to the contrary, refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power and kept his promise, and a whole bunch of other things I can’t remember at the moment. But other than that. . . Please share. This is how history books will read, because these are PROVABLE FACTS! Truth

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bigmacdaddio · 4 years ago

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Trump

Trump will never be forgotten because he incited an insurrection against the government, mismanaged a pandemic that killed over half a million Americans, separated children from their families, lost those children in the bureaucracy, tear-gassed peaceful protesters on Lafayette Square so he could hold a photo op holding a Bible in front of a church, tried to block all Muslims from entering the country, got impeached, got impeached again, had the worst jobs record of any president in modern history, pressured Ukraine to dig up dirt on Joe Biden, fired the FBI director for investigating his ties to Russia, bragged about firing the FBI director on TV, took Vladimir Putin’s word over the US intelligence community, diverted military funding to build his wall, caused the longest government shutdown in US history, called Black Lives Matter a “symbol of hate,” lied nearly 30,000 times, banned transgender people from serving in the military, ejected reporters from the White House briefing room who asked tough questions, vetoed the defense funding bill because it renamed military bases named for Confederate soldiers, refused to release his tax returns, increased the national debt by nearly $8 trillion, had three of the highest annual trade deficits in U.S. history, called veterans and soldiers who died in combat losers and suckers, coddled the leader of Saudi Arabia after he ordered the execution and dismembering of a US-based journalist, refused to concede the 2020 election, hired his unqualified daughter and son-in-law to work in the White House, walked out of an interview with Lesley Stahl, called neo-Nazis “very fine people,” suggested that people should inject bleach or disinfectant into their bodies to fight COVID, abandoned our allies the Kurds to Turkey, pushed through massive tax cuts for the wealthiest but balked at helping working Americans, incited anti-lockdown protestors in several states at the height of the pandemic, withdrew the US from the Paris climate accords, withdrew the US from the Iranian nuclear deal, withdrew the US from the Trans Pacific Partnership which was designed to block China’s advances, insulted his own Cabinet members on Twitter, pushed the leader of Montenegro out of the way during a photo op, failed to reiterate US commitment to defending NATO allies, called Haiti and African nations “shithole” countries, called the city of Baltimore the “worst in the nation,” claimed that he single handedly brought back the phrase “Merry Christmas” even though it hadn’t gone anywhere, forced his Cabinet members to praise him publicly like some cult leader, believed he should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, berated and belittled his hand-picked Attorney General when he recused himself from the Russia probe, suggested the US should buy Greenland, colluded with Mitch McConnell to push through federal judges and two Supreme Court justices after supporting efforts to prevent his predecessor from appointing judges, repeatedly called the media “enemies of the people,” claimed that if we tested fewer people for COVID we’d have fewer cases, violated the emoluments clause, thought that Nambia was a country, told Bob Woodward in private that the coronavirus was a big deal but then downplayed it in public, called his exceedingly faithful vice president a “p---y” for following the Constitution, nearly got us into a war with Iran after threatening them by tweet, nominated a corrupt head of the EPA, nominated a corrupt head of HHS, nominated a corrupt head of the Interior Department, nominated a corrupt head of the USDA, praised dictators and authoritarians around the world while criticizing allies, refused to allow the presidential transition to begin, insulted war hero John McCain – even after his death, spent an obscene amount of time playing golf after criticizing Barack Obama for playing (far less) golf while president, falsely claimed that he won the 2016 popular vote, called the Muslim mayor of London a “stone cold loser,” falsely claimed that he turned down being Time’s Man of the Year, considered firing special counsel Robert Mueller on several occasions, mocked wearing face masks to guard against transmitting COVID, locked Congress out of its constitutional duty to confirm Cabinet officials by hiring acting ones, used a racist dog whistle by calling COVID the “China virus,” hired and associated with numerous shady figures that were eventually convicted of federal offenses including his campaign manager and national security adviser, pardoned several of his shady associates, gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to two congressman who amplified his batshit crazy conspiracy theories, got into telephone fight with the leader of Australia(!), had a Secretary of State who called him a moron, forced his press secretary to claim without merit that his was the largest inauguration crowd in history, botched the COVID vaccine rollout, tweeted so much dangerous propaganda that Twitter eventually banned him, charged the Secret Service jacked-up rates at his properties, constantly interrupted Joe Biden in their first presidential debate, claimed that COVID would “magically” disappear, called a U.S. Senator “Pocahontas,” used his Twitter account to blast Nordstrom when it stopped selling Ivanka’s merchandise, opened up millions of pristine federal lands to development and drilling, got into a losing tariff war with China that forced US taxpayers to bail out farmers, claimed that his losing tariff war was a win for the US, ignored or didn’t even take part in daily intelligence briefings, blew off honoring American war dead in France because it was raining, redesigned Air Force One to look like the Trump Shuttle, got played by Kim Jung Un and his “love letters,” threatened to go after social media companies in clear violation of the Constitution, botched the response to Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico, threw paper towels at Puerto Ricans when he finally visited them, pressured the governor and secretary of state of Georgia to “find” him votes, thought that the Virgin islands had a President, drew on a map with a Sharpie to justify his inaccurate tweet that Alabama was threatened by a hurricane, allowed White House staff to use personal email accounts for official businesses after blasting Hillary Clinton for doing the same thing, rolled back regulations that protected the public from mercury and asbestos, pushed regulators to waste time studying snake-oil remedies for COVID, rolled back regulations that stopped coal companies from dumping waste into rivers, held blatant campaign rallies at the White House, tried to take away millions of Americans’ health insurance because the law was named for a Black man, refused to attend his successors’ inauguration, nominated the worst Education Secretary in history, threatened judges who didn’t do what he wanted, attacked Dr. Anthony Fauci, promised that Mexico would pay for the wall (it didn’t), allowed political hacks to overrule government scientists on major reports on climate change and other issues, struggled navigating a ramp after claiming his opponent was feeble, called an African-American Congresswoman “low IQ,” threatened to withhold federal aid from states and cities with Democratic leaders, went ahead with rallies filled with maskless supporters in the middle of a pandemic, claimed that legitimate investigations of his wrongdoing were “witch hunts,” seemed to demonstrate a belief that there were airports during the American Revolution, demanded “total loyalty” from the FBI director, praised a conspiracy theory that Democrats are Satanic pedophiles, completely gutted the Voice of America, placed a political hack in charge of the Postal Service, claimed without evidence that the Obama administration bugged Trump Tower, suggested that the US should allow more people from places like Norway into the country, suggested that COVID wasn’t that bad because he recovered with the help of top government doctors and treatments not available to the public, overturned energy conservation standards that even industry supported, reduced the number of refugees the US accepts, insulted various members of Congress and the media with infantile nicknames, gave Rush Limbaugh a Presidential medal of Freedom at the State of the Union address, named as head of federal personnel a 29-year old who’d previously been fired from the White House for allegations of financial improprieties, eliminated the White House office of pandemic response, used soldiers as campaign props, fired any advisor who made the mistake of disagreeing with him, demanded the Pentagon throw him a Soviet-style military parade, hired a shit ton of white nationalists, politicized the civil service, did absolutely nothing after Russia hacked the U.S. government, falsely said the Boy Scouts called him to say his bizarre Jamboree speech was the best speech ever given to the Scouts, claimed that Black people would overrun the suburbs if Biden won, insulted reporters of color, insulted women reporters, insulted women reporters of color, suggested he was fine with China’s oppression of the Uighurs, attacked the Supreme Court when it ruled against him, summoned Pennsylvania state legislative leaders to the White House to pressure them to overturn the election, spent countless hours every day watching Fox News, refused to allow his administration to comply with Congressional subpoenas, hired Rudy Giuliani as his lawyer, tried to punish Amazon because the Jeff Bezos-owned Washington Post wrote negative stories about him, acted as if the Attorney General of the United States was his personal attorney, attempted to get the federal government to defend him in a libel lawsuit from a women who accused him of sexual assault, held private meetings with Vladimir Putin without staff present, didn’t disclose his private meetings with Vladimir Putin so that the US had to find out via Russian media, stopped holding press briefings for months at a time, “ordered” US companies to leave China even though he has no such power, led a political party that couldn’t even be bothered to draft a policy platform, claimed preposterously that Article II of the Constitution gave him absolute powers, tried to pressure the U.K. to hold the British Open at his golf course, suggested that the government nuke hurricanes, suggested that wind turbines cause cancer, said that he had a special aptitude for science, fired the head of election cyber security after he said that the 2020 election was secure, blurted out classified information to Russian officials, tried to force the G7 to hold their meeting at his failing golf resort in Florida, fired the acting attorney general when she refused to go along with his unconstitutional Muslim travel ban, hired Stephen Miller, openly discussed national security issues in the dining room at Mar-a-Lago where everyone could hear them, interfered with plans to relocate the FBI because a new development there might compete with his hotel, abandoned Iraqi refugees who’d helped the U.S. during the war, tried to get Russia back into the G7, held a COVID super spreader event in the Rose Garden, seemed to believe that Frederick Douglass is still alive, lost 60 election fraud cases in court including before judges he had nominated, falsely claimed that factories were reopening when they weren’t, shamelessly exploited terror attacks in Europe to justify his anti-immigrant policies, still hasn’t come up with a healthcare plan, still hasn’t come up with an infrastructure plan despite repeated “Infrastructure Weeks,” forced Secret Service agents to drive him around Walter Reed while contagious with COVID, told the Proud Boys to “stand back and stand by,” fu**ed up the Census, withdrew the U.S. from the World Health Organization in the middle of a pandemic, did so few of his duties that his press staff were forced to state on his daily schedule “President Trump will work from early in the morning until late in the evening. He will make many calls and have many meetings,” allowed his staff to repeatedly violate the Hatch Act, seemed not to know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican, stood before sacred CIA wall of heroes and bragged about his election win, constantly claimed he was treated worse than any president which presumably includes four that were assassinated and his predecessor whose legitimacy and birthplace were challenged by a racist reality TV show star named Donald Trump, claimed Andrew Jackson could’ve stopped the Civil War even though he died 16 years before it happened, said that any opinion poll showing him behind was fake, claimed that other countries laughed at us before he became president when several world leaders were literally laughing at him, claimed that the military was out of ammunition before he became President, created a commission to whitewash American history, retweeted anti-Islam videos from one of the most racist people in Britain, claimed ludicrously that the Pulse nightclub shooting wouldn’t have happened if someone there had a gun even though there was an armed security guard there, hired a senior staffer who cited the non-existent Bowling Green Massacre as a reason to ban Muslims, had a press secretary who claimed that Nazi Germany never used chemical weapons even though every sane human being knows they used gas to kill millions of Jews and others, bilked the Secret Service for higher than market rates when they had to stay at Trump properties, apparently sold pardons on his way out of the White House, stripped protective status from 59,000 Haitians, falsely claimed Biden wanted to defund the police, said that the head of the CDC didn’t know what he was talking about, tried to rescind protection from DREAMers, gave himself an A+ for his handling of the pandemic, tried to start a boycott of Goodyear tires due to an Internet hoax, said U.S. rates of COVID would be lower if you didn’t count blue states, deported U.S. veterans who served their country but were undocumented, claimed he did more for African Americans than any president since Lincoln, touted a “super-duper” secret “hydrosonic” missile which may or may not be a new “hypersonic” missile or may not exist at all, retweeted a gif calling Biden a pedophile, forced through security clearances for his family, suggested that police officers should rough up suspects, suggested that Biden was on performance-enhancing drugs, tried to stop transgender students from being able to use school bathrooms in line with their gender, suggested the US not accept COVID patients from a cruise ship because it would make US numbers look higher, nominated a climate change sceptic to chair the committee advising the White House on environmental policy, retweeted a video doctored to look like Biden had played a song called “F**k tha Police” at a campaign event, hugged a disturbingly large number of U.S. flags, accused Democrats of “treason” for not applauding his State of the Union address, claimed that the FBI failed to capture the Parkland school shooter because they were “spending too much time” on Russia, mocked the testimony of Dr Christine Blasey Ford when she accused Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault, obsessed over low-flow toilets, ordered the rerelease of more COVID vaccines when there weren’t any to release, called for the construction of a bizarre garden of heroes with statutes of famous dead Americans as well as at least one Canadian (Alex Trebek), hijacked Washington’s July 4th celebrations to give a partisan speech, took advice from the MyPillow guy, claimed that migrants seeking a better life in the US were dangerous caravans of drug dealers and rapists, said nothing when Vladimir Putin poisoned a leading opposition figure, never seemed to heed the advice of his wife’s “Be Best” campaign, falsely claimed that mail-in voting is fraudulent, announced a precipitous withdrawal of troops from Syria which not only handed Russia and ISIS a win but also prompted his defense secretary to resign in protest, insulted the leader of Canada, insulted the leader of France, insulted the leader of Britain, insulted the leader of Germany, insulted the leader of Sweden (Sweden!!), falsely claimed credit for getting NATO members to increase their share of dues, blew off two Asia summits even though they were held virtually, continued lying about spending lots of time at Ground Zero with 9/11 responders, said that the Japanese would sit back and watch their “Sony televisions” if the US were ever attacked, left a NATO summit early in a huff, stared directly into an eclipse even though everyone over the age of 5 knows not to do that, called himself a very stable genius despite significant evidence to the contrary, refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power and keep his promise, and a whole bunch of other things I can’t remember at the moment.

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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The Loud House: No Bus, No Fuss and Resident Upheaveal Reviews

Welcome back Loudites! And i’ts time for a round of Lincoln focused episodes.. because apparently they couldn’t just.. you know, swap one of next weeks with one of this weeks so we got a sister episode with it like last time.. seriously now I know one of next week’s episodes involves Leni running for mayor I question why that’s not an episode every week.. or it’s own spinoff. And I know I have a mounting pile of those, Stella getting one, the diffrent world one with lori and bobby, The Snakebird Variety hour.. I know.. but tell me you wouldn’t watch that. Go on tell me.. i’ll know your lying. But it was an alright week and i’ll tell you all about it with spoilers after the cut.

No Bus, No Fuss: We open with LIncoln arriving late for the bus, and Lynn not riding it because tracks starting and she has to get her workout in.. and because the writers need her not to be on the bus for this plot to work at all. It’s not a terrible way to write her out, she does do all the sports.. beacause apparently like Captain America she can do all the sports without having to train her body for each specific one because she’s in peak condition. Though I do dock a few points from the episode for not having her run past it while saying on your left.

But yeah as for why it couldn’t Lincoln takes a seat in the back not realizing it’s bat country.. and also home to a gang of 8th grade bullies. Which.. yeah assholes do tend to flock to where there’s the most plausable deniablity top notch show. Though I tended to pick the back in high school more just because it was freaking comfy but hey, who says goons can’t enjoy comfort. They can’t however let this slide, not helped by Lincoln accidently spilling soda on him or his friends trying to help. Look Clyde you mean well but they just want a reason to beat him into a coma, and you basically just offered to join him. So unupsirisngly when the Lincrew exit the bus their all in pretty bad shape. Including stella....

Though in the bullies defense at least their equal opportunity jagoofs. One of them is a girl and they bullied stella just as mucha s the males. Dosen’t make them any less of a jungle gym full of tools but I can give them credit for not being sexist asshats just regular asshats. At their age that’s a hard bar to clear. Though LIncoln, Clyde and Stella all got off better than LIam, who got his undies pulled over his head, a bullying standard and rusty and Zach who. .had their underwear tied together in a not.

Oh.. oh it gets worse. When we cut to them after school.. Rusty says the fire department had to cut them loose and Zach and I quote says “I saw too much of rusty.. and his birth mark”

I.. I do not want to think about what that entails.. both because Rusty’s 12 and i’m not a pedophile and because he’s rusty. I just.. why show.. why would you try and make me THINK about that. How is Zach being scarred for life funny?

All valid questions. But moving right along past that waking nightmare, LIncoln assures them they had to have cooled off... spoilers they have not and our heroes all exit the bus at lincolns because they tied their underwear together. Yes all of them and yes including stella.

They naturally don’t want to go back and Lincoln has the idea of just having the parents drive them, one a day. Stella has to take hers off the table since her parents leave early in the morning: Her mom goes into work early and her dad has hot yoga. Which is a disapointment as I genuinely want to know about Stella’s parents and hope we actually get to see them at some point and finding out one of them works really early and the other does yoga every day, and hot yoga at that which if your wondering what that is, and when I first heard the term I was, it’s doing yoga but in an extremley humid and exhausting environment. It is sadly not learning to do this, as i’d hoped

Someday.. someday. But that still leaves a parent a piece so as you probably expect the bulk of the episode is “Parent drives them but is terrible about it” And honestly.. it’s not the series best stuff with most of these not being very funny. Most of them. Zach’s Parents: Zach’s parents go by mighty morphin power rangers logic.. i.e. the parents look and act pretty much exactly like their kids. So the Gurdles are also discount dale gribbles who stalk a man in their van while the kids wait for death but death won’t come.. and as seen up top all are as fed up with Zach as I am. Again Rusty is growing on me, I still make fun of him because why wouldn’t I, but he at least serves a function in the group. As i’ve mentioned before: Lincoln’s the leader and one of the main characters, Clyde is also a main charater and has been fairly fleshed out at this point, Stella is awesome and provides the brains and some pep, LIam is also optimsitic but provides farm jokes and muscle, and Rusty is the group asshole every gorup needs. Zach.. is the more sarcastic and cynical one but with Lynn now going to the same schoool.. why isn’t she in that roll? Have her date LIam, since I love that pairing since last week, and have her take Zach’s place since she plays the lancer role to lincoln better anyway. Zach just dosen’t do it well and comes off like a whiny baby and when he’s not in sarcasm mode he’s going off abotu aliens again, like a discount dale gribble. And look most viewers probably haven’t seen the genuine article which.. first off allow me

And second off dosen’t mean you can slack off as i’ve seen better paranoid nutjobs with that gimmick, like Stan Pines or Andromeda. You, can, do, better. So either do it or get rid of Zach already.

Liam’s Parents: His meemaw takes them riding in her tractor, leanall in her bladder, cheated on her baby you can go and ask her. A pig vomits on Clyde because GET IT LIAM’S A HICK GET IT GET IT.

Now THAT my friends is a hick.

Rusty’s Dad: So yeah I was not looking forward to meeting the stygian void Rusty popped out of but turns out his dad is apparently single. Which dosen’t suprise me, he’s rusty’s dad and both looks and is voiced by Richard Steven Horvitz, which will never not be awesome and is not only perfect casting, as he plays dorks well, but also wonderful to see him in a modern production. I mean granted the zim movie was a modern production, but that was reviving a character he played a few decades ago.

And while Rusty’s dad apparently showed up before, in an episode I SAW no less “Back Out There” so unlike some lapses in my Loud House Knowledge I have no excuse here, it was still intresting to get an explination for why Rusty’s like this. His dad is a salesman, who practically bathes in colonge, tells the same story and stops on the street to shill to people while driving his son to school, something his son helps with. And probably Rocky just rolls his eyes at. I miss rocky. And suprisingly given I hated his son pretty quickly.. I love this guy. He’s pretty endearing: Sure he’s a schmooze factory.. but he kept the kids in the divorce meaning his wife either abndoned him, or he fought hard for htem and does seem to genuinely love his kid and have a great rapport with him. I mean it helps I have a soft spot for Schyster characters, especially Stan PInes, but I just like the guy. The fact he has a vetran voice actor whose great at this sorta roll probably helps but still, he’s just wonderful and actually makes me like Rusty better, and I was already warming up to the kid, phrasing, as it explains why he’s such a douche: his dad pumps him full of self esteem, probably well meaningly and is a grown up rusty.. which is a better application of power rangers logic as instead of groaning at Zach’s angtics, this gives an explnation for why Rusty’s like this. So yeah only one of the segments I really laughed at.

Clyde’s Dads: Since we’ve met the boys before, it’s just a saftey based gag as they wrap the car in bubblerwap.

Rita: Finally we get to Rita, who simply is a bit agressive getting parking.. btu she’s a mother of 11 and has had to deal with school parking for years and doing so for several children. So fair enough. She does cut off Lincoln’s asshole of a teacher who cuts him off in line in retrubution and then tells him “Tell your mom I said high”.. in a tone that implies he’s going to be hanging outside their house at 3 in the morning with a bat starring menacingly. Yeah not a big fan of Mr. Bohlmer anymore as he’s just your basic mean teacher sterotype. So Lincoln cooks up another way, taking a plane. So we get flip back!

What can I say he’s grown on me. And he’s hilarious here, taking the kids in a rusty plane that’s “No longer under federal investigation”, which is a SELLING POINT, has no refunds nd naturally the seatbelts are shoddy and he ejects them via trap door. I loved it.

But our heros dont and now trapped in the trees Rusty and Zach bicker with one another which.. fellas I know a way to settle this. KAL-IF-FEE!

No matter who looses thier friends win. But they instead accept they have to ride the bus and face the bullies. But they also find when getting ready OHTER kids were bullied and the three cablebastards just take turns. But Lincoln has a plan to fix that and just.. outright stands up to them.. with the entire bus backing them. And honestly.. it’s not a bad message about bullying. Generally bullies won’t backed down when confronted all the time.. but when outmatched they will.. still not the best message but still far better than season 1′s “If a girl bullies you she secrety has a crush on you”. I.. will have to deal with those episodes someday but today is not that day. So our heroes celebrate and rusty does grow an inch, proving him right. Phrasing! Final Thoughts on NBNF: This one was decent... it had a few dead spots, Zach’s parents are about as intresting as he is and given all the batshit and legitly dangerous conspiracy theories and theorists that came out of of the woodwork and were backed by the trump presdency, that bit plays even worse than it would normally and the stuff with Clyde’s dad’s has been done before.. and honestly is something they need to retire. The husbands have a better dynamic than this, let them use it. It was also a disapointment we dind’t get to see Stella’s family, especially since again the mcbride’s schitck is REALLY overplayed and it would’ve been nice ot get some fresh blood in there and we really didn’t need to see Zachs. All those problems aside though this is a pretty standard plot with an okay ending, but some good gags along the way. Not Loud HOuse’s best and especially in a bad spot considering the last episode before this “Saved by the SPell” was not only way funnier but also used the lincrew better. Still can’t say i’ts bad just.. okay. Also I apparently like rusty as a character now....

Resident Upheaval: This one was also just...okay. Not terrible, and it has an actually intresting premise, but it doesn’t do much with it.

Our setup simple: Pop Pop’s girlfriend Myrtle wants to move into the same retirement home as his, explaining away her apparently living there by her just visting a lot. Sure why not. So Lincoln assures him he’s going to get her in, he’s the man with the plan.

Before we get to what the problem with that is.. gotta talk about the elephant in the room since Pop Pop is pretty absent for the rest of the episode.. and that’s that .. their STILL using him. As some of you probably know, and if you don’t your about to, Pop Pop’s voice actor Fred Willard, comedy legend and really sweet guy, passed away. So you can imagine how WRONG it feels to have not only another voice coming out of one of his characters but one that just dosen’t match. And I don’t blame Chris Swindle here, he was given a pretty unfair task of pinch hitting for someone who just fucking died, and likely because the episode was too far into production to scrap. I’m certainly hoping so because honestly.. I genuinely DON’T see why Pop Pop can’t just die with Fred. And look i’m not against replacing an actor when the worst happens: Russi Taylor’s roles all had to be replaced after her unfortunate passing, it’s not something i’m against normally... but the combination of pop pop being an older character they can write out and the fact they HAD AN ENITRE EPISODE ABOUT ACCEPTING HE WOULDNT’ LAST FOREVER, means that one comes off a bit hollow if you keep dragging him around. You’d get a good episode out of it, and this episode sets it up so that Myrtle has plenty of potetiail to stick around.

Anyway Lincoln’s problem is the OTHER applicant is Clyde’s Nana Gayle.. whose actually come up a few times before, some i’ve seen some I haven’t, a continuity nod i’m happy their following up on. They even explain why sh’es just appearing in person now as Clyde, when later snapping at lincoln, exclaims “You knew my dad’s have been trying to get her to move closer for a while now!” She’s Harold’s mom and a sweetheart. So our heroes procede to try and bribe the board, both working at it but both end up finding each other at the opera. And this.. COULD have been intresting, putting the two best friends against each other for one thing neither can both have, and both have stake in it: Myrtle is as good as grandma to Lincoln by this point and Nana Gayle is VERY close to clyde, so this isn’t great. But since the guys they’ve been bribing arne’t the end authority, they have to go to who is: SCOOTS!

As you can tell I love this old hellraiser.. and the fact she’s STILL seeing her younger boyfriend from “The Boss Maybe”. YOu get it scoots you get it. Naturally Scoots wants to see some blood, so she’s pitting both women against each other. Though neither grandma wants to do this so LIncoln and Clyde do the logical thing.. and dress up like each othe’rs grandmas, do the competition and get found out. Scoots disqulaifies both, the boys realize they were stupid and they go to apologize.

They instead find an easy solution to their problem!: Turns out Scoots as head had been hiding a double room behind a fake wall, to store both her scooters and her boyfriends motorcycle, so naturally now both grannies can move in as roomies while Scoot will just have to back her boyfriends hog into the single.. and I guess his motorbike too. The two grandmothers are instant friends, remdinng the boys fo each other and it’s.. really precious. Looks like I have yet another spinoff for the pile.

Final Thoughts: As I said this one was fine.. the Pop Pop subtistion was probably a grim neciesity, though swindle reallyd idn’t do a good job mimicking willar’ds voice and they REALLY just need to either find someone better to do the job, sound alike or no or retire the character. That tiny issue aside i’ts not bad.. it’s just not GREAT, and since we rarely see Clyde and Lincoln and GENUINE cross purposes, and last week just lying to him made clyde ill, this REALLY could’ve been intresting seeing the two go against each other and see what resutled from that. But that angle’s basically ignored and they make up pretty easily. IT’s just a wasted potetial of an episode. All in all this was an allright week. Nothing outstanding episode wise but a few good bits here and there. wehnever I get back to the loud house, Lisa becomes a teacher and Leni runs for mayor. Until then, it’s been a pleasure.

#the loud house #lincoln loud #clyde mcbryde #howard mcbryde #harold mcbryde #gayle mcbryde #liam hunnicutt #stella zhau #rusty spokes #zach gurdle #lynn loud #pop pop #albert loud

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asherlockstudy · 5 years ago

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Are Jaime and Jon linked by destiny?

Slowly reaching the end of AGoT, Jon Snow’s chapters, which began quite bland, start intriguing me more and more. I don’t want to expand on it in this post but it is after the middle of the book and well past half his chapters when it starts getting implied that Jon might be a very important character.

So far, all those themes of fate, history repeating itself, gods and prophecies are prevalent throughout the story. So much that I don’t believe the popular assumption that GRRM’s point is that we shouldn’t rely on prophecies one bit. In the books, prophecies and symbolism will matter because they are basically the core of the story. Anyway, I don’t want to digress. In short, prophetic dreams, cryptic signs and gods all are much more important in the first book alone than in the entire show.

Although I am not sure what we can conclude after the ending of the TV show, the most popular and ongoing for the most years theory is that Jon is the Chosen One, the Prince that was Promised, Azor Ahai. Until half his chapters in AGoT, I could not see any indication towards that direction. It’s the last three chapters that start making me stir uncomfortably because, as I’ve stated many times, I do not wish for Jon to be Azor Ahai.

The first of these chapters describes Jon’s initiation in the Night’s Watch and the rite of him and Sam taking the Oath before the Old Gods’ trees.

“They are watching us”, he [Sam] whispered. “The Old Gods.” “Yes.” Jon knelt, and Sam knelt beside him. (...) “I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. (...) I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn. - Jon VI, AGoT

Jon and Sam both think the trees are disconcerting and the Gods’ faces that are carved on their trunks look as if they are watching them. The Nightswatch oath states they will never wear crowns and they will live all their life in that same post. The Old Gods listen to them or so it seems. What is this then? Do they bind Jon to his oath and we get an ending very similar to that of the show for him? And yet, the next sentence is very interesting as well. The fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn. Here’s the first strong Jon is Azor Ahai evidence that I noticed. Bonus for the Targaryen hint.

There is a lot that should be unpacked and reexamined in this chapter after the completion of the books, should we ever be blessed to see that day... and we’re not done here. Here’s what happens in the very next sentences.

And suddenly Ghost was back, stalking softly between two weirwoods. White fur and red eyes, Jon realized, disquieted. Like the trees . . . - Jon VI, AGoT

Here we have a strong implication that Ghost is now sent to him as a messenger from the Old Gods.

The wolf had something in his jaws. (...) “Gods be good,” Dywen muttered. “That’s a hand.” - Jon VI, AGoT

A right hand, to be precise.

Direwolves, which I admit I didn’t care for a lot before I started reading the book, seem to be linked to their masters and usually foreshadow their fate. Thus, I am not sure how I should interpret this moment. Surely, the basic meaning is that the Old Gods sent Ghost to fetch the hand and consequently make the Nightwatch realize the existence of the wights. But what can we hypothesize on a subtextual level - is Ghost foreshadowing that the Old Gods will give Jon a “hand” or is Ghost a symbolism of Jon himself, who will be the one to bring / have a “hand”? Whatever, the conclusion is similar but we also saw that Jon took an oath before the watching Gods that he will know neither crowns nor glory. If all this seems too stretched or unfounded, hang on a little bit more.

So, two Jon chapters later and Jon has saved Lord Mormont’s life from the wight. Lord Mormont gives him a gift as thanks and what a gift it is! Longclaw, the Mormont sword (that Jorah was supposed to have but was disgraced). Made from Valyrian steel and quite agreeable to Jon’s, alas, left hand.

Yes, left. Because he’s wounded after the fight and his right hand is...burning.

Awkwardly, Jon took the sword in hand. His left hand; his bandaged right was still too raw and clumsy. (...) The edges glimmered faintly as they kissed the light. - Jon VIII, AGoT

The word “left” is italicized by Martin. These two sentences alone give us all the Azor Ahai and Lightbringer signs that we need, right? However...

I have no right to this, he thought, no more than to Ice. He twitched his burned fingers, feeling a throb of pain deep under the skin. “My lord, you honor me, but—” (...)

He is not my father. The thought leapt unbidden to Jon’s mind. Lord Eddard Stark is my father. I will not forget him, no matter how many swords they give me. Yet he could scarcely tell Lord Mormont that it was another man’s sword he dreamt of . . . - Jon VIII, AGoT

While I am sure Jon will soon bond with Longclaw, I think the first impression matters here. Longclaw is a fine sword no doubt but Jon dreams of Ice. Where will this sword of dreams end up? Well, to Jaime’s left hand. And Brienne’s hand. However, the foreshadowing here can only work for Jaime because we have a Jon with a burnt right hand that can’t wield the sword properly yet. If you think about it, there is not a serious reason plot-wise for Jon to have a burnt useless hand because the hand eventually healed without any serious consequences. This is simultaneously a red herring and a foreshadowing and, basically, this means GRRM used bloody Jon Snow as a tool to foreshadow onehanded Jaime Lannister taking initially Oathkeeper. This hasn’t happened yet in the books but I assume Jaime will eventually take Window’s Wail too, even D&D emphasized on the significance of the twin swords. (Even though they never explained the importance.) Interestingly enough, Jon’s discomfort for Longclaw might also be a parallel to Jaime’s decision to pass the sword to Brienne as he thought it was wasted on him.

If only that was all there is to it. Because in the next few sentences the foreshadowing goes batshit crazy and hilarious. If you haven’t read the book, brace yourself:

“And you’ll need to work at your two-handed strikes as well. Ser Endrew can show you some moves, when your burns have healed.” “Ser Endrew?” Jon did not know the name. “Ser Endrew Tarth, a good man. He’s on his way from the Shadow Tower to assume the duties of master-at-arms.” - Jon VIII, AGoT

I’m laughing. There you go folks. Jon Aegon Targaryen Snow, a foreshadowing tool for Jaime and Brienne’s relationship. It’s not amongst George’s subtlest efforts.

Gather all the clues here:

Gods watch Jon Snow.

He vows to be the light that will bring dawn (aka the sun, see my “Jaime is symbolized by the sun” post)

Ghost, as symbol of either the Old Gods or Jon himself, brings them a right hand.

Jon is given a very important sword which glimmers with light but he envies the sword that became Jaime and Brienne’s.

As he accepts it, he can’t use his right hand because it is burning. In his case, this soon will be over and he’ll use his right hand without some deep meaning behind it. So, this is important only in this particular paragraph.

In order to help him learn use both his hands, Mormont will send him to a Knight of Tarth, a good man!!!

So Jaime...ehm... JON can’t use the sword YET with his right hand and someone from Tarth must show him the way (and then he’ll start fighting the White Walkers and learn his real identity)

In other words, proof #68764912749147 Jaime meeting Brienne is the beginning of the prophecy’s fulfillment. Brienne is going to be the major factor ( I am afraid that means “Nissa Nissa” ) that will make Jaime Azor Ahai.

Why would GRRM get into such great trouble to create such heavy foreshadowing if it doesn’t mean Ice and Oathkeeper and Window’s Wail are as important for the story as the knights wielding them are as well?

Jon is a red herring for Jaime and he might help prepare the latter’s way. Not like in the stupid show where they barely exchange a look. Actually, this might fit with my old theory that Jon is meant to prepare the way, unknowingly, for Azor Ahai and he’s not Azor Ahai himself.

#jaime lannister #jon snow #braime #jaime x brienne #asoiaf #grrm #got #game of thrones #azor ahai #theory #more

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arkus-rhapsode · 6 years ago

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My Hero Academia Chapter 210 Review

Well this was a short chapter, but hot damn is it a scary one.

We open on All Might taking the call from Gran Torino from last chapter. Gran Torino talks about how Nana had a dream after inheriting one for all. It seems that this was the same dream Izuku had at the beginning of the arc that told us of All for One and One for All’s origins.

We cut to Deku on the field. I’m going to kinda get ahead of myself, there is not much focus on the actual clash this chapter, so the pacing around it might come off as a little wonky. Deku is leaping through the air, while his team follows behind him.

We cut back to the crowd observing the clash.

Deku having to work harder than Bakugou is really just the theme of their relationship, are we surprised that someone verbalized it?

Anyway, good to notice that Iida and Todoroki are back from the infirmary, probably meaning Honenuki and Tetsutetsu are back. Iida points out that Deku’s formation looks similar to Bakugou’s, which given how Deku’s original fighting style was developed from watching Bakugou and All Might, this makes sense that they’d have a similar strategy.

According to Sero their evently balanced, but I gotta disagree. While both teams consist of an all around ace, Bakugou and Midoriya, Deku’s team has a lot more skill based team members. Sero was arguable the most skill based in Bakugou’s team, Jirou was mainly recon, and Satou was extra power. That’s an all around team. But Team Deku is more or less unbalanced in the sense they have one power player and 3 skill based users.

As we’ll see though, Deku is still scary thanks to the fact Team Monoma is almost all skill based and lacks any power player. Now also, Sero does point out that Deku lacks someone like Jirou who was able to find their locations which assisted in allowing Bakugou to take the lead without much worry. Deku instead is flying blind into this, having to draw out team Monoma on his own.

Then here’s the line about Deku working harder about Bakugou. I’m going to get back to this later so instead we’ll just cut back to the field where Team Deku is following behind him.

Deku’s plan is to draw out team Monoma and find their locations, he’s such a threat to them that there is no way they’d be able to ignore him. A barrel gets thrown at Deku and Deku identifies it as Yanagi’s quirk. Now, he’s an issue I have, and its basically in universe people seem to be aware of abilities we have never seen before. Now we got names for all of class 1-b’s quirks, but we didn’t know what they could do. Hell, no one seemed to know what Tokage’s ability was at first.

Now Deku is the most analytical in Class 1-A, so that likely means he might have notebooks and records on all of class 1-A’s quirks as well as 1-B’s from their training camp. Now we get a description of Yanagi’s quirk later, but right now, Deku immediately knows it.

Or does he???

Looks like that attack was Yanagi’s quirk and Monoma is using it. Monoma sttes that Deku is definitely a threat, but if he’s like Bakugou, then that means that he needs his team to draw out their full potential and not just work to support one member.

So unlike Tokage, Monoma is opting to instead of just try and draw them out, he’s on the offensive. As we see that Uraraka off screen has been attacked.

Monoma is taunting Deku and unfortunately, Monoma’s instigation tendecy make is hard to tell if this is all true, or if he’s actually copied Shinou and is going to try and brainwash Deku.

He even is sowing doubt into Deku by potentially saying their fine and that Urarak’s scream might’ve been Shinsou. In the end, Monoma has Deku locked right here, meaning unlike Bakugou, he can’t pick off their side one-by-one. I also gotta give shoutout to Monoma here, he is acting in such control here he’s actually quite threatening. I guess it goes to show that Monoma’s tendencies apply better on the battlefield then they do in social situations.

In social situations, Monoma either comes f like a jerk or a joke, but in battle he’s actually quite effective. Taunting and pushing opposing characters without seeming to try so hard like he does in normal situations.

Deku has luckily learned from his fight with Shinsou, and isn’t responding to anything he’s saying. Which is good. The Deku vs Shinsou fight was probably Deku at his dumbest, where even after being warned by Ojiro, Deku still fell for Shinsou’s ability. Now Deku was younger and a lot more naive, but now e’s able to not fall for it.

Monoma mentions how blessed people will destroy the world, and he��s not exactly wrong as someone who is gifted or has god given talents will likely change the world for better or worse, but Monoma opts to target Bakugou in this. He states that Bakugou is gifted, so gifted that in fact he got targeted by Shigaraki and ended up getting All Might to come in and lose the status of the symbol of peace.

Deku is clear irritated by this claim and attacks Monoma. However as we’ll see, Monoma might not be to far off by saying blessed people will destroy the world could apply to Deku

We cut to the other members of team Deku, with it revealed that yes, the scream wasn’t Uraraka, but Shinsou.

Mineta realizes that something’s coming as we see more nuts and bolts fly toward the group. This is actually the real Yanagi doing this, and we see Shoda is keeping track of all things in the area.

Kodai then decides to jump in and reveal that those objects have been effected by her quirk and grow bigger or smalle. Also, Kodai’s quirk is similar to Uraraka with them having to put their hands together.

Uraraka makes the objects float to avoid them doing damage, but Shoda activates his quirk which fires off the objects again. This causes the group to scatter, which joy, you saw what happened last match through that.

We now get an unload of info as we learn what their quirks are. Basically, Yanagi has telekinesis to an extent and Kodai is Ant Man. Or I guess Stature.

And Shoda... Has an OP as fuck quirk considering its range. Granted, you have to strike first to activate a second strike. I’m sad we don’t get their hero names, which was something team Tokage didn’t get either.

We cut back to All Might and Gran Torino and Gran Torino mentions to All Might that Nana had this same dream when she first inherited One for all. Even the same foggy image of the first user of One for All.

As this happens and we end the chapter, black lightning jets out of Deku’s arm as everyone watches in shock. Oooookay, where do I begin...?

So this lightning inst the same as his full cowling lightning because this actually seems to be physically manifesting and destroying part of his super hero outfit. Now the way All Might looks at this, it seems to imply he doesn’t quite understand it himself. Meaning possibly only holders like Deku and Nana who are odd numbered suffered this. Or this could just be Deku and AfO is just fucking with him. I have no answers, you could make any theory at this point. But yeah, that’s where we end. Well I can say I am very concerned and eager for next week.

Now with that said however, its time I revisit that “work harder than Bakugou” line. I don’t mind the idea of One for All having a hiccup, but the thing that bugs me is just how much this undermines Deku. This twist hurts because all throughout this arc, we’ve seen characters show off how much more stronger and plus ultra they’ve gotten. Tokoyami, Tsuyu, Todoroki, Iida, Bakugou, all got these fight to show how far they’ve come as characters. Now its Deku’s turn in the spotlight, and he’s losing control in front everyone. He;s not going to show off how competent he’s become from the start of the series, he’s now going to be seen as he was when he first joined the school, unable to control himself and destroying his limbs.

I respect that Hori doesn’t make Deku a protag who everyone is astounded by or automatically respected as a paragon of ideas, but come on, its been 200 chapters, let him show off and get some recognition. It just feels a bit like he’s being done dirty when last fight was all about how far Bakugou has come and last chapter laid on thick that Deku has truly grown. But no, cruch time he’s messing up. Now granted, this isn’t an asspull as we’ve been told One for All is acting strangely so this could’ve happened, I’m just saying I really would’ve preferred if this One for All stuff wasn’t interfering with the exercise. Now this could end with Deku ultimately winning because he’s gotten a ridiculous power boost, but still that feels cheap cause I think a lot would’ve wanted him to win on his own skill that he’s cultivated.

But who knows how Hori intends to handle this. Maybe he gets one smash out, and that’s it. Maybe he goes this entire round with this power, no clue.

Post Chapter Follow Up: Honestly this chapter felt really quick. It seemed to go so fast with a lot of info just rattled off. I’ll start with what was positive and that was definitely the character in this.

Monoma owns almost all of his scenes he’s in, as well as Uraraka taking charge after getting separated from Deku. Hell, just the little moments of Sero off to the side explaining the situation of team Deku.

I also must say, watching Bakugou and Aizawa become concerned over Deku’s power is really subtle and adds a lot of weight to the scene. Another thing is just class 1-B actually seeming like a threat, After how easily they got knocked around last round, this is a welcomed change.

If I had one thing to critique, the fight in this round is honestly pretty lack luster. It seems like a result of the pacing that it feels honestly very fast and not as focuses on as it should be. But you could say that the fight hasn’t truly started, as such it’s just laying some ground work.

It might sound as if I’m angry, with the Deku’s power going out of control, but honestly its not bad. Look I’m more concerned cause this is that moment in an arc when Hori makes everything completely batshit, and I do wanna know more about what will happen. I’m just little sad by the fact that for an arc that has shown so much growth, Deku is seemingly undermined. Now I can’t call that bad writing” as we don’t know where this’ll be going. So I’m just merely getting my opinion out there on this black lightning, but I’m not holding it against this chapter.

Final Verdict: 6/10

Little fast and little wonky

Great characterization

Nail biting ending

Not much is really done in this chapter, kinda an extension of last weeks breather more than anything

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blue-likethebird · 6 years ago

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Vee El Dee: The Good The Bad and The Ugly

If you’ve ever been on this hellsite, you’ve probably heard of Voltron: Legendary Defender. You’ll find the characters and the ships (and the discourse. Dear God the discourse) in tag after tag and on blog after blog. Now that the show has officially come to an end, I’m reviewing the whole damn thing. Talking about what I think worked, what didn’t, and what exactly the show did to make even the fans look at it so harshly now. (Just a warning “The Ugly” section discusses racism, and homophobia so if any of that triggers you I’d suggest you skip it)

Review under the cut

The Good

The Character Potential:

Voltron’s characters had so much potential at the beginning. Their motivations, potential subplots, and clues to their arcs the first crew left us were actually interesting. How did Coran know Allura before they were frozen? What happened that caused Shiro to lose his arm? Is Lance going to reunite with his family? The show didn’t answer all of these questions mind you, but at the time they were introduced, those questions felt like they were worth sticking around to hear the answers.

The First Season:

The first season is the only season that genuinely sticks out for me, way back in ye olden days when Voltron was a character driven show as opposed to plot focused. In season one, the plot took a backseat and the characters were what held up the show, and it’s probably not a coincidence that most of the character development and more emotional/memorable scenes occurred in season one, when there was time for the characters to develop. Likewise, the character focus allowed for everyone to get their day in the limelight -not just the characters who were valuable to the plot at the moment-.

The Balmera and The Return to The Balmera:

I am never gonna be shy about my opinion that the Balmera arc is one of the strongest arcs that Voltron has had. Allura using the story of her people to inspire others and using Altea’s ancient connection to the Balmera to save an entire damn civilization! The goddamn adorable chemistry between Hunk and Shay! Believable suspense! Unlocking Lion Powers! The Balmera arc had it all and I was fed. Plus, Balmera gave us the introduction of the most blessed couple in Voltron history, hunay.

The Bad:

The Timeskips:

In theory, there’s nothing wrong with a timeskip. But you’ve gotta be able to show that the characters and show’s universe changed in some way during that timeskip and you can’t use them just to avoid actual story and character development. Take season six (? Or was it five? I don’t remember and I don’t wanna) when Keith and Krolia take a two year camping trip on a space whale while Voltron is off doing God knows what. Presumably during that time they developed some sort of mother-son relationship but we don’t get to see that development happening, or how that new relationship changed them, or really any proof that the timeskip happened at all besides Keith getting Galra marks and a teleporting space wolf. That particular time jump felt more like a cop-out to avoid writing Keith bonding with his mom.

Pacing:

To put it plainly, the pace is way too fast for anything to stick. The writing cycles from one season's worth of plot twists and WTF? moments to the next at the speed of light, leaving no time to address how the previous events affected the characters involved or not the show’s universe as a whole. So Lotor was actually evil all along and was using Allura to achieve his goals? Well there’s no time to mention how Allura feels about that, we’ve got three more surprise twists and a magic robot to shove into the plot! On the flip side however, the pacing is slower than a geriatric snail during fight scenes. The giant robot fights are usually the most exciting part of anything, but in Voltron, the fights are so formulaic that they just kinda… blur together into a boring fog. Lemme know if you can name this Voltron fight scene: the team’s fighting some random baddie, there’s a lot of yelling, someone gets a power up just big enough to defeat the current baddies when a bigger, eviler baddie appears who’s more powerful than the power up they just got, new baddie whoops Voltron’s ass, the support team watches in horror, someone else gets a power up that’s powerful enough to defeat the new bad guy, Voltron reins triumphant. What fight scene was that?

The Filler Episodes:

The fast pacing also means that they need to set aside breather episodes just to allow characters to interact besides in battle. That’s all well and good and there’s nothing wrong with filler episodes, if done right they can be some of the most memorable episodes a show can have (The Tales of Ba Sing Se anyone?) that is, if done right. But Voltron filler episodes don’t have that going for them. Filler episodes in vee el dee are an oasis of mud in the desert that is canon, they’re a generally unhelpful standstill point amidst a constantly changing series. I’ll admit that they can be funny at times but for the most part filler episodes are bizarre, unnecessary, and more often than not, poorly timed. If we just heard about a millenniums old empire folding in on itself and we’re just about to see a major character attempt suicide do we really need to see Coran go batshit while planning a space Disney On Ice?

The Ugly:

Racism:

#justiceforallura

I must confess that I am whiter than a polar bear in a snowstorm, but even I know that killing off a black girl (or black coded as the case may be), constantly torturing the Japanese guy, reducing the Samoan guy to food and fat jokes, and having the latino guy flirt with everyone before turning him into a farmer isn’t the best way to handle writing characters of colour. Denying said characters of colour arcs and screen time in favour of giving your white characters the same story in a different hat over and over again is also not the best treatment you can offer your poc characters. That’s not even mentioning other horrible treatment and stereotypes you’ll see the Voltron characters of colour experience. Let us also recall #notallgalra, the “what if the genocide victim was actually the bad guy” au mess in s3, all those “lol lance is stupid” jokes, the black character Kinkade speaking mainly in grunts, Allura dying to redeem the two genocidal dudes responsible for most of her trauma, and Hunk’s (half black half Samoan) family being enslaved at a fucking concentration camp like goddamn what the hell were you thinking Voltron that’s like hetalia levels of fucked up when we remember what kind of genuinely awful shit this show’s done to it’s minority characters.

Homophobia:

If you’re reading my review in the Voltron tag, and you watched the whole series, then there’s no way in hell that you haven’t heard about Adam dying and the backlash against Voltron for it. If you are somehow the .000001% of people who don’t know, Adam (a gay moc) was Shiro’s (another gay moc) fiancé who got a grand total of forty five seconds of screen time before dying when the Galra invaded earth. Meanwhile, L*tor and Allura’s relationship got almost triple that despite being abusive as fuck. But Shiro got married at the end of season 8! In a credits scene, to a guy in the background of a couple of scenes Shiro was also in. When lgbt fans expressed outrage at their rep being hyped up despite having no bearing on the plot or even Shiro as a character outside of one scene, instead of owning up to their mistakes, the crew of Vee El Dee said (or implied) that it was the fault of lgbt fans for hyping ourselves up. Yeah okay. Except after that we got confirmation that Ezor and Zethrid were a couple! Yay! Clearly a win for us El Gee Bee Tees right? Well… not really considering that both of them were depicted as psychotic torturers who also died a couple minutes later. Gotta love those crazy dead lesbians amirite?

Klance:

But why is klance in the “ugly” section!? You cry, I thought you were a klanti! I am an anti and I did ship klance but that’s not what I wanna talk about right now. When I put klance under ugly I wanted to discuss two things, the crew and the shippers. First let’s talk the crew; several folks on the Voltron staff have at the very least, not reacted negatively to the omnipresent ship that is Keith and Lance. I’m sure you’ll also remember that Lance’s VA Jeremy Shada was considered a KICK icon before that went south. The crew was also purposefully misleading when they talked about possible romances for Keith and Lance, the language they used was ambiguous enough that shippers interpreted it as proof that klance would become canon. When it inevitably didn’t and shit hit the fan, the staff backpedaled again. Stating that klance was never meant to be interpreted as romantic and we were all fools for thinking otherwise. That’s happened in the past so it’s a reasonable defence, except for the fact that scenes with Keith and Lance tended to contain unnecessary parallels to canonically romantic relationships, (the bonding moment paralleling an allurance scene in season six and their talk at the start of season eight paralleling two scenes, hunay in season one and l*tura in season five). So it’s not unreasonable to be a little suspicious there. Klance was huge on the internet, it’s impossible for the crew to have been completely unaware of what they were doing.

Next I wanna talk shippers. I’m not saying that being disappointed that a ship didn’t become canon is a bad thing. But when you act like that’s the worst thing Voltron did amidst the sea of ableism, racism and homophobia it gets a little tiring. The fact that so many klancers rushed to demonize Allura after season seven and eight and add on that I saw more people complaining about klance not becoming canon king than Allura dying a completely unnecessary death to redeem L*tor of all people was the final straw. I washed my hands of klance and Voltron as a whole.

———————————————

So that’s my review of V*ltron. I was gonna do a separate review of season eight but I didn’t even finish s8 and to be honest it probably wouldn’t have been any more than the words “Fuck Vee El Dee, Allura Deserved Better” in big pink letters. And I know I probably made someone angry with this review but if you actually managed to stick around my ramblings all the way to the end then I salute you regardless of whether or not you agree with me.

#voltron legendary defender #voltron #v*ltron #v slur #klance #anti klance #(kinda?)#allura deserved better #justiceforallura

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bloody-fabre · 7 years ago

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The Head Jailer of Abashiri has a part of the tattooed map – An essay.

Let me go straight to the topic. I believe there are more than 24 coded tattoos. And the convicts are not aware of the extra owners. So far, we have seen 17 parts of the coded map, and three of them belong to characters that we didn´t get to meet in the canon (Tsuyama, skin from Barato, Yubari miner). Add to that the details given by the first prisoner caught by Sugimoto and Asirpa, and we get that a few, probably one or two, were killed by the others right then and there. That leaves us with 6-5 skins left as of now. (latest released chapter was 153) With the -convict of the week- lasting less and less as chapters pass by, we can easily infer all the 24 parts will be acquired in no time. But I strongly believe this is not the end of the road. And not only because of the fake skins that were introduced by Tsurumi, or the key that Asirpa will awaken in due time. My guess is that there are more, authentic, pieces of the map being carried onto certain individuals, and these ones don´t happen to be convicts. Yet, they were at the same place, at the same time. Below, I will elaborate on my theory for this, and put most of my focus on one specific person, who, as unlikely as it may seem at first sight, I now believe is quite possible the (non) proud owner of another part of the tattooed map. And this man is Kadokura, the (ex) head jailer of Abashiri Prison.

As we know, some 5 years or so ago, Noppera-bou was sent to Abashiri prison, and once there, developed a plan to reveal the location of the gold. During his time at the prison, he tattooed 24 prisoners with parts of a complicated map, which made no sense until put together. At some indefinite point, probably a couple months prior to the current time, the prisoners managed to escape as they were being transported elsewhere. Among them, acting as the de-facto leader, was Hijikata Toshizou. He instructed the surviving convicts to "Head to Otaru."

This is what we know, from Hijikata himself. But I have my doubts. Hijikata did not know all the details about the plan. He didn´t know Noppera-bou´s true identity, nor Asirpa´s ainu name.

Because of this, I believe there must be more things that Hijikata didn´t know, about the plan, and one of these was the following: There are more than 24 parts for the tattooed map. Or so Noppera-bou hoped. Hijikata knew about a 25th part. An ally he had within the walls of Abashiri Prison for a long, long time.

Ever since day 1 I wondered: How did Noppera-bou, someone who was MOST DEFINITELY on solitary confinement, manage to tattoo 24 well known inhabitants of the prison without being found out? The answer might be simple: EVERYONE wanted that gold, even the guards. It would´ve been easy for them to provide Noppera-bou with people to carry the clues to the gold, and then, as it happened, take them all elsewhere to gather all the leads. For this very reason, I believe it would´ve been very simple for Kadokura to get his very own tattoo as well. But why? Because I believe Kadokura had been plotting with Hijikata. I will elaborate on the reasons further below.

He´d convince some other guards to make it easy for the prisoners to release themselves while being escorted, getting a promise to share part of the gold in return. But, unbeknownst to everyone, he would be getting a tattoo of his own as well, so the puzzle would be unsolvable without his part.

"" That´s one big fat can of worms he opened there ""

Let´s begin tackling the points I discerned as clues of him being part of the tattoo puzzle.

The first of them being: He´s been succesfully hiding things from Inudou, most likely from day 1. Kadokura had been constantly acting behind Inudou´s back. Whether getting salmon bribes, lying about killing spies, or, you know, getting people from the outside into Abashiri to get Noppera-bou...

And yet, Inudou didn´t kick him out like he did with the other guards, who had been here for as long as him, if not longer. Because he completely bought the act of Kadokura being a "worthless, pathetic tanuki". *A small note: Volume 1 implies soldiers/police were in charge of the escort, as they also had the goal of finding out about the gold. However, on chapter 128 Kadokura himself claims the guards were blamed for the mass escape. As these two pieces of trivia contradict each other, I´ll proceed with the most recent one. Kadokura had been a guard in Abashiri Prison for seven long years. This is two years prior to the time Noppera-bou was taken prisoner.

"Any guard suspected of playing a part was kicked out. The only reason that I wasn´t was because I played the part of a useless, dumb, apathetic old tanuki." "Any guard SUSPECTED---THE ONLY REASON that I wasn´t--- BECAUSE I PLAYED THE PART---" In other words: Kadokura was involved in the escape of the convicts. And managed to keep his job by playing dumb. And he NEEDED the convicts out of Abashiri. For one, they were a danger, even behind bars. And even if a single one of them discovered he was tattooed as well, it was over. They would break him like a toothpick. Kadokura is weak. He´s old. He´s FRAGILE. Just a little smack of Sugimoto gets him to rub his hand. A non lethal shot on the shoulder from Usami gets him looking like he´s about to pass onto the next life.

"" He even gets his ass kicked in flashbacks unrelated to him ""

Imagine being on your own when the 24 criminals started killing each other then and there. The best option was to stay well away from all that chaos. Right now Abashiri was the safest place, as why would a prisoner that just escaped prison return right away just to murder a random guard that managed to escape from that carnage?? And two, if they were away, unprotected by the fortress, they would be hunted down. As EVERYONE wants to find that gold. A battle royale was bound to happen that very day. To summarize: Guards were blamed for the mass escape, and rightfully so. The convicts were a risk, especially if they figured out there were more tattoos. The guards needed them out. Preferably dead. But why would Kadokura go to such lenghts? Why risk himself like that? He´s Head Jailer. He´s got his own quarters, and even if he gets verbally bullied by his boss, this is quite the decent job, especially now that most of the crazy criminals are outside of the walls and not at arm reach. The answer is "because of the new government". Kadokura resents it, and all that implies, including Inudou and the previous wardens.

"Ever since the old days, most of the guards have had more in common with the prisoners than they do with the wardens." (I happen to consider this very line another item for my theory, in a literal sense, as if my theory is correct, he now has something in common with 24 of the former prisoners.)

The way he talked about his late father implies he was proud of him, and that he undoubtedly supports Hijikata´s goal and ideals. And wishes to join him once he gets what he came to Abashiri for (Noppera-bou, or, in worst case scenario, information about the gold) This leads me to think Kadokura might desire to help Hijikata find the gold, and with it, make true the wishes of the old soldier. And he´s been helping him from the very start of the gold business. And there is another reason. Kadokura might pretend to be a "worthless, pathetic tanuki". But there´s something he genuinely cannot hide. He´s a fucking coward.

"My philosophy is not to pick any fight I cannot win".

At this point in time most of the tattooed convicts are dead. And one of them, one he can actually trust in, has returned. Kadokura is ready to continue helping him in all the ways he can, even if he loses the relative safety of the Abashiri Prison in the process. After all, how would you feel if you had Hijikata Motherfucking Toshizou guarding your back 24/7? Pretty good I guess, he´s arguably one of the strongest characters in the canon.

While all this is nice and all, it has yet to explain why Kadokura, of all people, would have a tattoo. Right? I want you to consider this point, which I deem the most important despite it may sound outright silly. HE´S STILL ALIVE. This man is weak, unskilled, a coward, someone who gave up at the ripe age of (circa) 50. What purpose could he possibly serve after Abashiri Prison is no more? Do we need a Kantarou senior? Coming from a manga that is not afraid to kill its characters once they served their purpose: Why is Kadokura alive? To be further tormented by Usami? Hilarious, yet, not enough.

And since we entered Usami territory... -a cursed area on its own right, but that´s an essay for another day- I wish to point out that Kadokura is (rightfully) frightened of the Hokuchin Unit coming here and have a nice little chat with our good friend Noppera-bou. Is it because he knows most of them, if not all, are batshit insane and will shoot at the slightest provocation? Definitely, but... Is it enough? Would they kill a guard that willingly shows them the way to Noppera-bou? This good old man doesn´t seem to think so.

"" RIP good old man. "" Kadokura was wise enough to freak the absolute fuck out. But is getting out of the way/hiding in a corner enough to be spared by the Hokuchin Unit? Maybe (no, not really). But Kadokura is definitely not going to take that risk. And it wasn´t enough that he managed to escape. He wanted to make sure the Hokuchin Unit wouldn´t get out of Abashiri alive.

A good move. Because escaping alone won´t help keep Noppera-bou alive at all. And without Noppera-bou, there is no key to the gold. (or so would think most people) I´m not saying this particular tidbit was especially intentional, but instead of just escaping (he was shot in the shoulder, not his leg), he made a counterattack to get rid of the Hokuchin Unit, thus, protecting Noppera-bou (even at the expense of literally all the other prisoners), wherever he´s being hidden by Inudou. No man who calls himself a coward would give up on escaping just to protect one man completely unrelated to him or his goals

"I´ve got no real attachment to this job" This line right here contradicts his "playing dumb" act to keep his job back in the day. Sure, it can mean he wanted to keep putting bread on the table, but also that he knew where was the place to be as long as it meant a safe haven. And as long as Noppera-bou was still there, holding the information they needed.

A little something more, to finish my leads, as ambigous as it may be: Even after being in a -currenty- safe, well hidden place, and surrounded with trustworthy partners, he seems to be holding his pain instead of tending to his wound.

He´s still completely covered up to his neck with his shirt, which, as little a detail as it may seem, might imply he has his reasons not to treat the wound with people around. He does, however, seems to be wearing a makeshift sling to support the injured arm. The fact that he, as the Head Jailer, had his own quarters, would also provide a chance to keep a tattoo as big as the coded map hidden from everyone for as long as he needed.

I still can´t find a way on which he communicated with Hijikata before his group (plus Sugimoto´s) came to get Noppera-bou, but my guess is that they´ve been secretly in cahoots for a long, long time. Ever since Noppera-bou´s tattoo plan was put into motion. Kadokura, as everyone, was well aware of Inudou´s obsessive hatred for Hijikata, so he would´ve been an excellent ally, both against the Warden, and any other danger, if it came to that. And for that, he risked a lot, even as the coward he claims to be. And luckily for him, he survived this trial.

Below is a short summary of all the aforementioned hints. Which, I hope, helped convey the conclusion I reached, that there´s more to this Tanuki that he let us know.

-Literally the first thing we see him doing, is telling the new guy "Don´t get involved with Noppera-bou.” And boy, he should know about that by now. -Noppera-bou kept details away from Hijikata, why extra tattoos wouldn´t be part of it? -He´s definitely been in contact with Hijikata for a long, long time. -EVERYONE wanted that gold. Carrying a secret extra part of the map with no one else knowing was an advantage. If he/his allies ever manage to gather the rest. -Constantly hid things from Inudou, acting behind his back, being in cahoots with his ultimate enemy. -Was here before Noppera-bou arrived. Met him personally. -implied to be considered suspected in the mass escape, played dumb to keep his job and to constantly avoid suspicions from Inudou. -Resents the current government. -"i have more in common with the prisoners than the wardens" -Wants to help Hijikata in any way he can -he has literally no reason to be alive. We know what happens to GK characters when they fulfill their purpose. -Unlike the rest of the (unwise) guards, he was terrified of the Hokuchin coming here. -Stopped escaping to attack the Hokuchin. Kadokura, the self-proclaimed coward. -Not minding losing the job he played dumb to keep, once Hijikata manages to meet with Noppera-bou -Seems to be concealing unnatended wound despite being notably affected by it. -Had a place all for himself, the best when you need to hide something, like a big torso tattoo. -Might take the chance to add an extra item: I do not believe Inudou trusts him entirely, as Kadokura not only did not know where Noppera-bou was. He didn´t even know about the secret basement, after all this time.

This may seem far-fetched at times, because of his little exposition so far. I´m not going to deny I grasped at straws at some point. But if, in the end I managed to get some people to think "hey, it DOES sound plausible!" then I´ll happily call it a job well done.

*All the manga panels used for this essay are scanlations from EverydayHeroes Scans. Thanks to them I´m able to enjoy this manga over and over as I wait for the english volumes to be released and delivered to me :D

#kadokura #kinkamu #golden kamui #hijikata toshizo #inudou shirosuke

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theliterateape · 4 years ago

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Four Words That Will Change Your Life (and the Internet)

by Don Hall

"If you’re not a liberal when you’re 25, you have no heart. If you’re not a conservative by the time you’re 35, you have no brain."

Churchill did not say this. Attributed to him but completely inconsistent with his own political journey (Conservative at 15 and Liberal at 35) the quote joins a rather long list of quotes he was supposed to have said, but didn't.

To quote the Mandalorian, "This is the way."

As is often the case, who said it is less relevant that what was said. I mean, somebody said it even if they just made it up to falsely attribute to Churchill, right? That somebody had a point and the point is that people change their ideologies with experience. That is true no matter if it were Churchill or the batshit crazy cat lady on the street corner with the tinfoil hat and the shoes made of stuffed animals.

Experience forces perspective. If one is open to that perspective change, this new information allows the ideology to shift one way or the other.

A friend recently told me he thought I had gained a modicum of wisdom in my advancing age. He then stopped and corrected himself "Maybe it's not wisdom but age plus exhaustion. You aren't wiser so much as you are too tired to be the dumbass of your youth." There is some truth to the assessment. I am too tired to fight the same meaningless fights as I was so thirsty for in my younger days. Some of them are no longer relevant; most are just dull in repetition.

I find myself get ginned up about some thing in the news or online. I start to write about the bigotry of Critical Race Theory or the pernicious grip Trump has on the bizarre amalgam of GOP legislators. I get bored or tired or filled with a sense of futility so I write about something I watched on Netflix or pop out 3,000 words in my draft of the book on working at the casino. The angry piece gets sidelined and I move on to something else.

I've always been a fairly angry guy but anger (usually a response to some other less proactive emotional state like fear or despair) takes a fuck-ton of energy and with age goes the energy.

Oh, boo-fucking-hoo! When the life expectancy of the human body used to be around thirty years, you made it to fifty-five without too many dents in your fender and now you're bitching about needing more naps?

Not complaining. Just acknowledging the inevitable loss of steam to fuel the pissed-off. The other noticeable difference is that I can see clearly how my mind has been changed on so many things since I was young, dumb, and fulla cum.

At a time of such stridency and polarization (and let's be honest here, it's almost always been like this—we just have social media to stick it in our faces at nearly every waking hour and we're all fucking addicted to our devices like truck drivers and five-dollar whores) being able to both change your mind but also admit it and move on is quite the sign of either wisdom or age+exhaustion.

Back when I was a giant fatass, if you asked me about hitting the gym, my reaction would be the derision of a true believer in delusional fitness. I was strong(ish) but horribly out of shape and strolling leisurely down the path of late-stage diabetes and heart failure at the ripe age of forty-five.

Out of nothing but vanity, I started working out regularly. I lost eighty pounds (the equivalent of four and a half bowling balls strapped to my frame) and found a sense of Zen that my otherwise lazy rage-boner could drill.

Today, while not one of those wheat-grass drinking, Instagram humping fitness cultists, I think that a bit of exercise could do everyone some good. My mantra is simple: any exercise is better than no exercise. If all you can manage is a single pathetic push-up, do it. One push-up is better than no push-ups.

In terms of a massive change of mind, this single shift is significant in that it has been life-changing. Despite my smoking (years sucking on cigarettes and now more years on pipes) and my waning tolerance for too much alcohol (a coupla beers and a shot pretty much does me in these days) I'd wager I've added at least a few years toward the finish line.

The change Churchill decidedly did not make note of (but note was made, that can be certain) is a sign of evolution. Not growing gills or something bizarrely nineties as all that but a personal evolving from a stupid twenty year old to a slightly less stupid fifty-five year old. In the grand scheme of things, less stupid may be a low bar to clear but it's at least a goal.

In the 1990's, as with all twenty-two year olds, I thought I had it all under control. I knew the world, saw its hypocrisies, and fully believed I was as put together and confident as a frat boy with a roofie and a Scooby Doo van. I easily dismissed anyone over the age of thirty as a sell-out, anyone past forty as societally obsolete, and couldn't believe that anyone past fifty wasn't walking around asking people who shit their pants.

And, like twenty-two year olds of every decade in every generation, I was a self righteous cunt about it.

In terms of evolving, in experience changing my mind about fundamentals, it took some trudging through certain trenches and seeing the world from multiple angles to shift perspective.

“Do what you love. The money will follow.”

Bullshit. As a younger man I loved this mythological smegma on my chest but it simply isn’t true. The more correct version is “Do what you love because you will lie on your deathbed one day and if you spent your one life doing what you despise so you could buy shit, you’re a fucking moron.”

This epiphany came to me after years of experience because that's how these things go.

The ability to change one's mind does not come from other people telling you what to do. Sure, instructions are helpful but being told what to believe is almost always a non-starter. This has been true for all time as far as I can tell.

Two things are at play in today’s marketplace of ideas: the ability to change one’s mind and the desire to demand fealty to competing sets of beliefs. Most people have the skill to take in new information, reflect upon it, and shift perspective. Few are willing to shift perspective taking orders from others.

In the grand scheme of things, less stupid may be a low bar to clear but it's at least a goal.

When Vegas was in the early stages of COVID shutdown, I genuinely believed it was overblown and Chicken Little hysteria. “It’s just like the flu!” I recall saying to guests on the casino floor. I made jokes about licking machines and drinking Purell. Then the information started rolling out as scientists began to truly understand the gravity of the situation.

I changed my mind. I began to take it seriously. I did the reading and paid attention.

“You said it was just like the flu a week ago!”

“I did. I was wrong.”

Those three words cannot be forced. They cannot be scolded into existence. They cannot be demanded. “What if you’re wrong?” is far less powerful than “What if I’m wrong?”

That’s really the essence of the thing. If more of us asked ourselves that question perhaps the marvel of digital communication would be less populated by wannabe neighborhood watch types vomiting out their putrid opinions on how everyone else is wrong. Maybe—just maybe—we could relax a bit and reflect on our own perspective shifts and engage in society with more grace than an angry, underserved nun with a hard-on for punishing those around her.

When I was in my twenties, I was terrified of homosexuality, I voted for Ronald Reagan, I drank until I blacked out and got into bar fights, I treated sex like it was a prize to win through manipulation. No one shamed me for these ideas. At some point, with experience and at least an ounce or two of self-reflective ability, I asked myself if I was wrong. I was wrong so I changed my mind and thus my behavior.

The goal is to become a better human before your clogged heart shuts down or a bus casually caves in your rib cage. The goal is not to focus on the guy in the Walmart parking lot screaming about the government making him wear a surgical mask to buy cheap macaroni and powdered cheese or the woman pushing the white fragility book on you. The goal is to become better at this life before it ceases to be.

To become better, ask yourself “What if I’m wrong?”

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justgotham · 7 years ago

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Nobody enjoys a party crasher – especially one intent on wreaking bloody havoc and, well, forcing the dinner party to eat human flesh.

In tonight’s episode of Gotham, “Let Them Eat Pie,” that’s exactly what happens when Oswald Cobblepot and Sofia Falcone throw a charity fundraiser for the latter party’s new orphanage. When Professor Pyg unexpectedly shows up to slice away at the guest list, however, things get a little “batshit crazy,” as Robin Lord Taylor tells CBR. Pyg has been slaughtering corrupt GCPD cops on Oswald’s payroll for several weeks, but has he bitten off more than he can chew by facing Penguin head-on?

Lord Taylor spoke with us about Oswald’s gruesome encounter with Professor Pyg, his cat and mouse game with Sofia Falcone and Oswald’s hubris. In addition, the actor previewed Oswald’s imminent reunion with Nygma, and the power struggle viewers will watch unfold in the show’s winter’s finale.

CBR: Season 3 culminated with Oswald literally putting his former best friend, Edward Nygma, on ice. How has heartbreak and betrayal affected Oswald this year?

Robin Lord Taylor: I trace this all back to Oswald’s childhood, this need that is inside of him to be accepted, to be desired and to be loved and trusted, all of those things we humans want. That’s so much inside of him, as much as he tried to get away from it. At the end of Season 3, Oswald says to Nygma, “I learned my lesson. I will never let anyone in again.” And yet, here we find ourselves in Season 4.

Oswald has found maybe one of his most worthy – I don’t want to say opponents, but someone who is really challenging to him in a way no one else has been, and that would be Sofia Falcone. She’s Don Falcone’s daughter and there’s also another connection there. Everything Oswald knows about running the crime syndicate and being the King of Gotham, he learned from Don Falcone. So, here comes his daughter, who has all of those traits inherently inside of her, having grown up with Don Falcone and seen everything first hand. She comes into Oswald’s life. No matter what Oswald has prepared himself against – whether he says he won’t let anyone inside, or he won’t let his walls down or that he won’t care about anybody ever again – she is able to break that immediately. It’s a testament to her cunning and the fact she is her father’s daughter.

Oswald and Sofia seem to share this cat and mouse dynamic, but… who is the cat, and who is the mouse?

I don’t know. I really don’t. That’s what I love about it. With every episode, and even multiple times within the episode, every time Oswald thinks he has Sofia nailed down, and the opposite when she thinks she has him nailed down, they both manage to surprise each other at every turn. It’s like an intricate dance, one that Oswald has never had to dance before. At every turn, she’s there to counter him. Obviously, things will be revealed as we go forward. But, as revealed in the last episode, Oswald thinks he has found her base of operations. Then, it turns out to be a children’s orphanage. Going forward with this episode, there’s so many times he feels she is going to betray him, and then something happens that is so batshit crazy in the form of the wonderful Michael Cerveris as Professor Pyg. Something like that is thrown into the mix. She gets stabbed in the hand. She puts herself out in the line and his theories are all shot to hell again. I don’t know who the mouse is and who the cat is at this point in the show. It’s been really exciting to play out.

There was a scene where Oswald was with Martin and he looks out the window at Sofia. It looked like there was a spark of recognition or suspicion in his eyes. Is he on to her?

I feel like he’s always on to her. It’s not like she’s Poison Ivy and he’s sprayed some perfume and he’s completely hypnotized. He has all his faculties, but, at the same time, every time he thinks he’s on to her, she changes the game. He recognizes he is being played, but it’s a game and what we know about Oswald is he does not to lose. He’s a master at strategy and manipulation. To find himself at every turn being outwitted, or invaded, by Sophia is incredibly frustrating for him. That’s another reason why instead of having her assassinated immediately. Oswald is so swept up in this game against her. He doesn’t want to let it go. He wants to win. He wants to prove, “Ha! I beat you. I beat a Falcone.” It’s part of his legacy.

Again, to touch on legacy, we have this other kid, Martin. Oswald is at a point where everyone in his life has betrayed him. At this juncture, because Martin has been put in front of him, Oswald sees someone he can pass along everything he has learned. As he goes through this thing with Sofia, Martin is a witness. That’s another reason Oswald doesn’t want to give up the game. He wants to prove to Martin, he wants someone who trusts to be a witness to his brilliance. Again, that’s another reason coming back to Sofia and participating in her games.

In tonight’s episode, “Let Them Eat Pie,” how unhinged does Oswald become when Professor Pyg crashes the charity event?

It’s one of the darkest moments he’s had all season, if not ever. Any time that something happens to Oswald that he didn’t foresee at all, it’s incredibly traumatic for him. On top of it, the gruesomeness of Professor Pyg – We’re not taking about the Penguin who has killed I don’t know how many people over four years – but, it’s the sheer animalistic, salacious tawdriness of the violence of the Pyg that is so disgusting to Oswald. Oswald even manages to find his own violence in the big dinner scene. In a way, it’s almost as if Oswald doesn’t believe in that kind animalistic stuff. He is a gentleman. He believes all criminals should behave that way, compared to the Pyg who is opposite of how Oswald presents himself. It just shakes him to the core.

What have you enjoyed about this rivalry between Oswald and Pyg?

I love it when a character finds ways to undermine everything Oswald has done. The fun of setting up a house of cards is watching them all fall down. It’s magic and the fun thing to play. I love building him up. We have a similar trajectory every season. There is a period where Oswald is in control. He’s on top of the world and he’s kicking ass and taking names. Another weakness of Oswald is hubris. He learns this lesson every year. He just can’t figure out how to get around it. Once he gets a little bit of power, he starts making mistakes. He’s missing clues that are out there. Or, he underestimates the people that are close to him.

What can you preview about Oswald’s reunion with Nygma?

As we know, Nygma is in another fractured place. He can’t really seem to find the center of who he is as a person. Oswald has been through that before with Nygma in Season 2, after coming back from Arkham. Oswald was also removed from himself and couldn’t find his way back. As we saw in Season 2, Nygma was able to inspire Oswald to come back to who he is. We see that happening in Season 4. It’s this connection they seem to have. In a way, they define each other. Or, if they don’t do that, they allow each other to be who they really are. We will see that connection come to a forefront in the next couple of episodes.

What can viewers expect from the winter finale? What is the series building towards?

The show is building towards a shake-up in the power dynamic of Gotham City. We saw in the beginning of the season, Oswald was trying to control things from his end. What we see going forward, building towards the finale is both Jim and Oswald and everybody else in the show, the Sirens especially, and then everything happening in the Narrows with Dr. Thompkins and Nygma, all of us are confronting the same issue, which is the power struggle in Gotham has been upended. There is someone new in town. In a weird way, all of us find ourselves on the same side of the line, whether or not we recognize it or choose to do something about it. It’s almost as if you can get this band of misfits to unify against anything, it’s what we are building towards in the winter finale.

#Oswald Cobblepot #Robin Lord Taylor #Edward Nygma #Cory Michael Smith #Professor Pyg #Michael Cerveris #Sofia Falcone #Crystal Reed #Lazlo Valentin

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arbane235 · 4 years ago

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Good summary of the accomplishments of Trump:

"I know I’ve been highly critical of the Trump presidency. But to be fair, and in the spirit of Presidents Day, I'm here to apologize for all my rants and just admit that President Trump wasn’t that bad...... other than when he incited an insurrection against the government, mismanaged a pandemic that killed nearly half a million Americans, separated children from their families, lost those children in the bureaucracy, tear-gassed peaceful protesters on Lafayette Square so he could hold a photo op holding a Bible in front of a church, tried to block all Muslims from entering the country, got impeached, got impeached again, had the worst jobs record of any president in modern history, pressured Ukraine to dig dirt on Joe Biden, fired the FBI director for investigating his ties to Russia, bragged about firing the FBI director on TV, took Vladimir Putin’s word over the US intelligence community, diverted military funding to build his wall, caused the longest government shutdown in US history, called Black Lives Matter a “symbol of hate,” lied nearly 30,000 times, banned transgender people from serving in the military, ejected reporters from the White House briefing room who asked tough questions, vetoed the defense funding bill because it renamed military bases named for Confederate soldiers, refused to release his tax returns, increased the national debt by nearly $8 trillion, had three of the highest annual trade deficits in U.S. history, called veterans and soldiers who died in combat losers and suckers, coddled the leader of Saudi Arabia after he ordered the execution and dismembering of a US-based journalist, refused to concede the 2020 election, hired his unqualified daughter and son-in-law to work in the White House, walked out of an interview with Lesley Stahl, called neo-Nazis “very fine people,” suggested that people should inject bleach into their bodies to fight COVID, abandoned our allies the Kurds to Turkey, pushed through massive tax cuts for the wealthiest but balked at helping working Americans, incited anti-lockdown protestors in several states at the height of the pandemic, withdrew the US from the Paris climate accords, withdrew the US from the Iranian nuclear deal, withdrew the US from the Trans Pacific Partnership which was designed to block China’s advances, insulted his own Cabinet members on Twitter, pushed the leader of Montenegro out of the way during a photo op, failed to reiterate US commitment to defending NATO allies, called Haiti and African nations “shithole” countries, called the city of Baltimore the “worst in the nation,” claimed that he single handedly brought back the phrase “Merry Christmas” even though it hadn’t gone anywhere, forced his Cabinet members to praise him publicly like some cult leader, believed he should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, berated and belittled his hand-picked Attorney General when he recused himself from the Russia probe, suggested the US should buy Greenland, colluded with Mitch McConnell to push through federal judges and two Supreme Court justices after supporting efforts to prevent his predecessor from appointing judges, repeatedly called the media “enemies of the people,” claimed that if we tested fewer people for COVID we’d have fewer cases, violated the emoluments clause, thought that Nambia was a country, told Bob Woodward in private that the coronavirus was a big deal but then downplayed it in public, called his exceedingly faithful vice president a “p---y” for following the Constitution, nearly got us into a war with Iran after threatening them by tweet, nominated a corrupt head of the EPA, nominated a corrupt head of HHS, nominated a corrupt head of the Interior Department, nominated a corrupt head of the USDA, praised dictators and authoritarians around the world while criticizing allies, refused to allow the presidential transition to begin, insulted war hero John McCain – even after his death, spent an obscene amount of time playing golf after criticizing Barack Obama for playing (far less) golf while president, falsely claimed that he won the 2016 popular vote, called the Muslim mayor of London a “stone cold loser,” falsely claimed that he turned down being Time’s Man of the Year, considered firing special counsel Robert Mueller on several occasions, mocked wearing face masks to guard against transmitting COVID, locked Congress out of its constitutional duty to confirm Cabinet officials by hiring acting ones, used a racist dog whistle by calling COVID the “China virus,” hired and associated with numerous shady figures that were eventually convicted of federal offenses including his campaign manager and national security adviser, pardoned several of his shady associates, gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to two congressman who amplified his batshit crazy conspiracy theories, got into telephone fight with the leader of Australia(!), had a Secretary of State who called him a moron, forced his press secretary to claim without merit that his was the largest inauguration crowd in history, botched the COVID vaccine rollout, tweeted so much dangerous propaganda that Twitter eventually banned him, charged the Secret Service jacked-up rates at his properties, constantly interrupted Joe Biden in their first presidential debate, claimed that COVID would “magically” disappear, called a U.S. Senator “Pocahontas,” used his Twitter account to blast Nordstrom when it stopped selling Ivanka’s merchandise, opened up millions of pristine federal lands to development and drilling, got into a losing tariff war with China that forced US taxpayers to bail out farmers, claimed that his losing tariff war was a win for the US, ignored or didn’t even take part in daily intelligence briefings, blew off honoring American war dead in France because it was raining, redesigned Air Force One to look like the Trump Shuttle, got played by Kim Jung Un and his “love letters,” threatened to go after social media companies in clear violation of the Constitution, botched the response to Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico, threw paper towels at Puerto Ricans when he finally visited them, pressured the governor and secretary of state of Georgia to “find” him votes, thought that the Virgin islands had a President, drew on a map with a Sharpie to justify his inaccurate tweet that Alabama was threatened by a hurricane, allowed White House staff to use personal email accounts for official businesses after blasting Hillary Clinton for doing the same thing, rolled back regulations that protected the public from mercury and asbestos, pushed regulators to waste time studying snake-oil remedies for COVID, rolled back regulations that stopped coal companies from dumping waste into rivers, held blatant campaign rallies at the White House, tried to take away millions of Americans’ health insurance because the law was named for a Black man, refused to attend his successors’ inauguration, nominated the worst Education Secretary in history, threatened judges who didn’t do what he wanted, attacked Dr. Anthony Fauci, promised that Mexico would pay for the wall (it didn’t), allowed political hacks to overrule government scientists on major reports on climate change and other issues, struggled navigating a ramp after claiming his opponent was feeble, called an African-American Congresswoman “low IQ,” threatened to withhold federal aid from states and cities with Democratic leaders, went ahead with rallies filled with maskless supporters in the middle of a pandemic, claimed that legitimate investigations of his wrongdoing were “witch hunts,” seemed to demonstrate a belief that there were airports during the American Revolution, demanded “total loyalty” from the FBI director, praised a conspiracy theory that Democrats are Satanic pedophiles, completely gutted the Voice of America, placed a political hack in charge of the Postal Service, claimed without evidence that the Obama administration bugged Trump Tower, suggested that the US should allow more people from places like Norway into the country, suggested that COVID wasn’t that bad because he recovered with the help of top government doctors and treatments not available to the public, overturned energy conservation standards that even industry supported, reduced the number of refugees the US accepts, insulted various members of Congress and the media with infantile nicknames, gave Rush Limbaugh a Presidential medal of Freedom at the State of the Union address, named as head of federal personnel a 29-year old who’d previously been fired from the White House for allegations of financial improprieties, eliminated the White House office of pandemic response, used soldiers as campaign props, fired any advisor who made the mistake of disagreeing with him, demanded the Pentagon throw him a Soviet-style military parade, hired a shit ton of white nationalists, politicized the civil service, did absolutely nothing after Russia hacked the U.S. government, falsely said the Boy Scouts called him to say his bizarre Jamboree speech was the best speech ever given to the Scouts, claimed that Black people would overrun the suburbs if Biden won, insulted reporters of color, insulted women reporters, insulted women reporters of color, suggested he was fine with China’s oppression of the Uighurs, attacked the Supreme Court when it ruled against him, summoned Pennsylvania state legislative leaders to the White House to pressure them to overturn the election, spent countless hours every day watching Fox News, refused to allow his administration to comply with Congressional subpoenas, hired Rudy Giuliani as his lawyer, tried to punish Amazon because the Jeff Bezos-owned Washington Post wrote negative stories about him, acted as if the Attorney General of the United States was his personal attorney, attempted to get the federal government to defend him in a libel lawsuit from a women who accused him of sexual assault, held private meetings with Vladimir Putin without staff present, didn’t disclose his private meetings with Vladimir Putin so that the US had to find out via Russian media, stopped holding press briefings for months at a time, “ordered” US companies to leave China even though he has no such power, led a political party that couldn’t even be bothered to draft a policy platform, claimed preposterously that Article II of the Constitution gave him absolute powers, tried to pressure the U.K. to hold the British Open at his golf course, suggested that the government nuke hurricanes, suggested that wind turbines cause cancer, said that he had a special aptitude for science, fired the head of election cyber security after he said that the 2020 election was secure, blurted out classified information to Russian officials, tried to force the G7 to hold their meeting at his failing golf resort in Florida, fired the acting attorney general when she refused to go along with his unconstitutional Muslim travel ban, hired Stephen Miller, openly discussed national security issues in the dining room at Mar-a-Lago where everyone could hear them, interfered with plans to relocate the FBI because a new development there might compete with his hotel, abandoned Iraqi refugees who’d helped the U.S. during the war, tried to get Russia back into the G7, held a COVID super spreader event in the Rose Garden, seemed to believe that Frederick Douglass is still alive, lost 60 election fraud cases in court including before judges he had nominated, falsely claimed that factories were reopening when they weren’t, shamelessly exploited terror attacks in Europe to justify his anti-immigrant policies, still hasn’t come up with a healthcare plan, still hasn’t come up with an infrastructure plan despite repeated “Infrastructure Weeks,” forced Secret Service agents to drive him around Walter Reed while contagious with COVID, told the Proud Boys to “stand back and stand by,” fucked up the Census, withdrew the U.S. from the World Health Organization in the middle of a pandemic, did so few of his duties that his press staff were forced to state on his daily schedule “President Trump will work from early in the morning until late in the evening. He will make many calls and have many meetings,” allowed his staff to repeatedly violate the Hatch Act, seemed not to know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican, stood before sacred CIA wall of heroes and bragged about his election win, constantly claimed he was treated worse than any president which presumably includes four that were assassinated and his predecessor whose legitimacy and birthplace were challenged by a racist reality TV show star named Donald Trump, claimed Andrew Jackson could’ve stopped the Civil War even though he died 16 years before it happened, said that any opinion poll showing him behind was fake, claimed that other countries laughed at us before he became president when several world leaders were literally laughing at him, claimed that the military was out of ammunition before he became President, created a commission to whitewash American history, retweeted anti-Islam videos from one of the most racist people in Britain, claimed ludicrously that the Pulse nightclub shooting wouldn’t have happened if someone there had a gun even though there was an armed security guard there, hired a senior staffer who cited the non-existent Bowling Green Massacre as a reason to ban Muslims, had a press secretary who claimed that Nazi Germany never used chemical weapons even though every sane human being knows they used gas to kill millions of Jews and others, bilked the Secret Service for higher than market rates when they had to stay at Trump properties, apparently sold pardons on his way out of the White House, stripped protective status from 59,000 Haitians, falsely claimed Biden wanted to defund the police, said that the head of the CDC didn’t know what he was talking about, tried to rescind protection from DREAMers, gave himself an A+ for his handling of the pandemic, tried to start a boycott of Goodyear tires due to an Internet hoax, said U.S. rates of COVID would be lower if you didn’t count blue states, deported U.S. veterans who served their country but were undocumented, claimed he did more for African Americans than any president since Lincoln, touted a “super-duper” secret “hydrosonic” missile which may or may not be a new “hypersonic” missile or may not exist at all, retweeted a gif calling Biden a pedophile, forced through security clearances for his family, suggested that police officers should rough up suspects, suggested that Biden was on performance-enhancing drugs, tried to stop transgender students from being able to use school bathrooms in line with their gender, suggested the US not accept COVID patients from a cruise ship because it would make US numbers look higher, nominated a climate change sceptic to chair the committee advising the White House on environmental policy, retweeted a video doctored to look like Biden had played a song called “Fuck tha Police” at a campaign event, hugged a disturbingly large number of U.S. flags, accused Democrats of “treason” for not applauding his State of the Union address, claimed that the FBI failed to capture the Parkland school shooter because they were “spending too much time” on Russia, mocked the testimony of Dr Christine Blasey Ford when she accused Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault, obsessed over low-flow toilets, ordered the rerelease of more COVID vaccines when there weren’t any to release, called for the construction of a bizarre garden of heroes with statutes of famous dead Americans as well as at least one Canadian (Alex Trebek), hijacked Washington’s July 4th celebrations to give a partisan speech, took advice from the MyPillow guy, claimed that migrants seeking a better life in the US were dangerous caravans of drug dealers and rapists, said nothing when Vladimir Putin poisoned a leading opposition figure, never seemed to heed the advice of his wife’s “Be Best” campaign, falsely claimed that mail-in voting is fraudulent, announced a precipitous withdrawal of troops from Syria which not only handed Russia and ISIS a win but also prompted his defense secretary to resign in protest, insulted the leader of Canada, insulted the leader of France, insulted the leader of Britain, insulted the leader of Germany, insulted the leader of Sweden (Sweden!!), falsely claimed credit for getting NATO members to increase their share of dues, blew off two Asia summits even though they were held virtually, continued lying about spending lots of time at Ground Zero with 9/11 responders, said that the Japanese would sit back and watch their “Sony televisions” if the US were ever attacked, left a NATO summit early in a huff, stared directly into an eclipse even though everyone over the age of 5 knows not to do that, said and did nothing when US intelligence agencies presented intel that Russia placed bounties on the heads of US soldiers stationed in the middle east, called himself a very stable genius despite significant evidence to the contrary, refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power and kept his promise, and a whole bunch of other things I can’t remember at the moment.

But other than that. . . Yea, he was great!" - Unknown

0 notes

realitysangle · 4 years ago

Photo

To be fair, Donald Trump’s four years in office weren’t so bad, except when when he incited an insurrection against the government, mismanaged a pandemic that killed nearly half a million Americans, separated children from their families, lost those children in the bureaucracy, tear-gassed peaceful protesters on Lafayette Square so he could hold a photo op holding a Bible in front of a church, when he tried to block all Muslims from entering the country, he got impeached, got impeached again, had the worst jobs record of any president in modern history, pressured Ukraine to dig dirt on Joe Biden, fired the FBI director for investigating his ties to Russia, bragged about firing the FBI director on TV, took Vladimir Putin’s word over the US intelligence community, diverted military funding to build his wall, caused the longest government shutdown in US history, called Black Lives Matter a “symbol of hate,” lied nearly 30,000 times, banned transgender people from serving in the military, ejected reporters from the White House briefing room who asked tough questions, vetoed the defense funding bill because it renamed military bases named for Confederate soldiers, refused to release his tax returns, increased the national debt by nearly $8 trillion, had three of the highest annual trade deficits in U.S. history, called veterans and soldiers who died in combat losers and suckers, coddled the leader of Saudi Arabia after he ordered the execution and dismembering of a US-based journalist, refused to concede the 2020 election, hired his unqualified daughter and son-in-law to work in the White House, walked out of an interview with Lesley Stahl, called neo-Nazis “very fine people,” suggested that people should inject bleach into their bodies to fight COVID, abandoned our allies the Kurds to Turkey, pushed through massive tax cuts for the wealthiest but balked at helping working Americans, incited anti-lockdown protestors in several states at the height of the pandemic, withdrew the US from the Paris climate accords, withdrew the US from the Iranian nuclear deal, withdrew the US from the Trans Pacific Partnership which was designed to block China’s advances, insulted his own Cabinet members on Twitter, pushed the leader of Montenegro out of the way during a photo op, failed to reiterate US commitment to defending NATO allies, called Haiti and African nations “shithole” countries, called the city of Baltimore the “worst in the nation,” claimed that he single handedly brought back the phrase “Merry Christmas” even though it hadn’t gone anywhere, forced his Cabinet members to praise him publicly like some cult leader, believed he should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, berated and belittled his hand-picked Attorney General when he recused himself from the Russia probe, suggested the US should buy Greenland, colluded with Mitch McConnell to push through federal judges and two Supreme Court justices after supporting efforts to prevent his predecessor from appointing judges, repeatedly called the media “enemies of the people,” claimed that if we tested fewer people for COVID we’d have fewer cases, violated the emoluments clause, thought that Nambia was a country, told Bob Woodward in private that the coronavirus was a big deal but then downplayed it in public, called his exceedingly faithful vice president a “p---y” for following the Constitution, nearly got us into a war with Iran after threatening them by tweet, nominated a corrupt head of the EPA, nominated a corrupt head of HHS, nominated a corrupt head of the Interior Department, nominated a corrupt head of the USDA, praised dictators and authoritarians around the world while criticizing allies, refused to allow the presidential transition to begin, insulted war hero John McCain – even after his death, spent an obscene amount of time playing golf after criticizing Barack Obama for playing (far less) golf while president, falsely claimed that he won the 2016 popular vote, called the Muslim mayor of London a “stone cold loser,” falsely claimed that he turned down being Time’s Man of the Year, considered firing special counsel Robert Mueller on several occasions, mocked wearing face masks to guard against transmitting COVID, locked Congress out of its constitutional duty to confirm Cabinet officials by hiring acting ones, used a racist dog whistle by calling COVID the “China virus,” hired and associated with numerous shady figures that were eventually convicted of federal offenses including his campaign manager and national security adviser, pardoned several of his shady associates, gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to two congressman who amplified his batshit crazy conspiracy theories, got into telephone fight with the leader of Australia(!), had a Secretary of State who called him a moron, forced his press secretary to claim without merit that his was the largest inauguration crowd in history, botched the COVID vaccine rollout, tweeted so much dangerous propaganda that Twitter eventually banned him, charged the Secret Service jacked-up rates at his properties, constantly interrupted Joe Biden in their first presidential debate, claimed that COVID would “magically” disappear, called a U.S. Senator “Pocahontas,” used his Twitter account to blast Nordstrom when it stopped selling Ivanka’s merchandise, opened up millions of pristine federal lands to development and drilling, got into a losing tariff war with China that forced US taxpayers to bail out farmers, claimed that his losing tariff war was a win for the US, ignored or didn’t even take part in daily intelligence briefings, blew off honoring American war dead in France because it was raining, redesigned Air Force One to look like the Trump Shuttle, got played by Kim Jung Un and his “love letters,” threatened to go after social media companies in clear violation of the Constitution, botched the response to Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico, threw paper towels at Puerto Ricans when he finally visited them, pressured the governor and secretary of state of Georgia to “find” him votes, thought that the Virgin islands had a President, drew on a map with a Sharpie to justify his inaccurate tweet that Alabama was threatened by a hurricane, allowed White House staff to use personal email accounts for official businesses after blasting Hillary Clinton for doing the same thing, rolled back regulations that protected the public from mercury and asbestos, pushed regulators to waste time studying snake-oil remedies for COVID, rolled back regulations that stopped coal companies from dumping waste into rivers, held blatant campaign rallies at the White House, tried to take away millions of Americans’ health insurance because the law was named for a Black man, refused to attend his successors’ inauguration, nominated the worst Education Secretary in history, threatened judges who didn’t do what he wanted, attacked Dr. Anthony Fauci, promised that Mexico would pay for the wall (it didn’t), allowed political hacks to overrule government scientists on major reports on climate change and other issues, struggled navigating a ramp after claiming his opponent was feeble, called an African-American Congresswoman “low IQ,” threatened to withhold federal aid from states and cities with Democratic leaders, went ahead with rallies filled with maskless supporters in the middle of a pandemic, claimed that legitimate investigations of his wrongdoing were “witch hunts,” seemed to demonstrate a belief that there were airports during the American Revolution, demanded “total loyalty” from the FBI director, praised a conspiracy theory that Democrats are Satanic pedophiles, completely gutted the Voice of America, placed a political hack in charge of the Postal Service, claimed without evidence that the Obama administration bugged Trump Tower, suggested that the US should allow more people from places like Norway into the country, suggested that COVID wasn’t that bad because he recovered with the help of top government doctors and treatments not available to the public, overturned energy conservation standards that even industry supported, reduced the number of refugees the US accepts, insulted various members of Congress and the media with infantile nicknames, gave Rush Limbaugh a Presidential medal of Freedom at the State of the Union address, named as head of federal personnel a 29-year old who’d previously been fired from the White House for allegations of financial improprieties, eliminated the White House office of pandemic response, used soldiers as campaign props, fired any advisor who made the mistake of disagreeing with him, demanded the Pentagon throw him a Soviet-style military parade, hired a shit ton of white nationalists, politicized the civil service, did absolutely nothing after Russia hacked the U.S. government, falsely said the Boy Scouts called him to say his bizarre Jamboree speech was the best speech ever given to the Scouts, claimed that Black people would overrun the suburbs if Biden won, insulted reporters of color, insulted women reporters, insulted women reporters of color, suggested he was fine with China’s oppression of the Uighurs, attacked the Supreme Court when it ruled against him, summoned Pennsylvania state legislative leaders to the White House to pressure them to overturn the election, spent countless hours every day watching Fox News, refused to allow his administration to comply with Congressional subpoenas, hired Rudy Giuliani as his lawyer, tried to punish Amazon because the Jeff Bezos-owned Washington Post wrote negative stories about him, acted as if the Attorney General of the United States was his personal attorney, attempted to get the federal government to defend him in a libel lawsuit from a women who accused him of sexual assault, held private meetings with Vladimir Putin without staff present, didn’t disclose his private meetings with Vladimir Putin so that the US had to find out via Russian media, stopped holding press briefings for months at a time, “ordered” US companies to leave China even though he has no such power, led a political party that couldn’t even be bothered to draft a policy platform, claimed preposterously that Article II of the Constitution gave him absolute powers, tried to pressure the U.K. to hold the British Open at his golf course, suggested that the government nuke hurricanes, suggested that wind turbines cause cancer, said that he had a special aptitude for science, fired the head of election cyber security after he said that the 2020 election was secure, blurted out classified information to Russian officials, tried to force the G7 to hold their meeting at his failing golf resort in Florida, fired the acting attorney general when she refused to go along with his unconstitutional Muslim travel ban, hired Stephen Miller, openly discussed national security issues in the dining room at Mar-a-Lago where everyone could hear them, interfered with plans to relocate the FBI because a new development there might compete with his hotel, abandoned Iraqi refugees who’d helped the U.S. during the war, tried to get Russia back into the G7, held a COVID super spreader event in the Rose Garden, seemed to believe that Frederick Douglass is still alive, lost 60 election fraud cases in court including before judges he had nominated, falsely claimed that factories were reopening when they weren’t, shamelessly exploited terror attacks in Europe to justify his anti-immigrant policies, still hasn’t come up with a healthcare plan, still hasn’t come up with an infrastructure plan despite repeated “Infrastructure Weeks,” forced Secret Service agents to drive him around Walter Reed while contagious with COVID, told the Proud Boys to “stand back and stand by,” fucked up the Census, withdrew the U.S. from the World Health Organization in the middle of a pandemic, did so few of his duties that his press staff were forced to state on his daily schedule “President Trump will work from early in the morning until late in the evening. He will make many calls and have many meetings,” allowed his staff to repeatedly violate the Hatch Act, seemed not to know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican, stood before sacred CIA wall of heroes and bragged about his election win, constantly claimed he was treated worse than any president which presumably includes four that were assassinated and his predecessor whose legitimacy and birthplace were challenged by a racist reality TV show star named Donald Trump, claimed Andrew Jackson could’ve stopped the Civil War even though he died 16 years before it happened, said that any opinion poll showing him behind was fake, claimed that other countries laughed at us before he became president when several world leaders were literally laughing at him, claimed that the military was out of ammunition before he became President, created a commission to whitewash American history, retweeted anti-Islam videos from one of the most racist people in Britain, claimed ludicrously that the Pulse nightclub shooting wouldn’t have happened if someone there had a gun even though there was an armed security guard there, hired a senior staffer who cited the non-existent Bowling Green Massacre as a reason to ban Muslims, had a press secretary who claimed that Nazi Germany never used chemical weapons even though every sane human being knows they used gas to kill millions of Jews and others, bilked the Secret Service for higher than market rates when they had to stay at Trump properties, apparently sold pardons on his way out of the White House, stripped protective status from 59,000 Haitians, falsely claimed Biden wanted to defund the police, said that the head of the CDC didn’t know what he was talking about, tried to rescind protection from DREAMers, gave himself an A+ for his handling of the pandemic, tried to start a boycott of Goodyear tires due to an Internet hoax, said U.S. rates of COVID would be lower if you didn’t count blue states, deported U.S. veterans who served their country but were undocumented, claimed he did more for African Americans than any president since Lincoln, touted a “super-duper” secret “hydrosonic” missile which may or may not be a new “hypersonic” missile or may not exist at all, retweeted a gif calling Biden a pedophile, forced through security clearances for his family, suggested that police officers should rough up suspects, suggested that Biden was on performance-enhancing drugs, tried to stop transgender students from being able to use school bathrooms in line with their gender, suggested the US not accept COVID patients from a cruise ship because it would make US numbers look higher, nominated a climate change sceptic to chair the committee advising the White House on environmental policy, retweeted a video doctored to look like Biden had played a song called “Fuck tha Police” at a campaign event, hugged a disturbingly large number of U.S. flags, accused Democrats of “treason” for not applauding his State of the Union address, claimed that the FBI failed to capture the Parkland school shooter because they were “spending too much time” on Russia, mocked the testimony of Dr Christine Blasey Ford when she accused Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault, obsessed over low-flow toilets, ordered the rerelease of more COVID vaccines when there weren’t any to release, called for the construction of a bizarre garden of heroes with statutes of famous dead Americans as well as at least one Canadian (Alex Trebek), hijacked Washington’s July 4th celebrations to give a partisan speech, took advice from the MyPillow guy, claimed that migrants seeking a better life in the US were dangerous caravans of drug dealers and rapists, said nothing when Vladimir Putin poisoned a leading opposition figure, never seemed to heed the advice of his wife’s “Be Best” campaign, falsely claimed that mail-in voting is fraudulent, announced a precipitous withdrawal of troops from Syria which not only handed Russia and ISIS a win but also prompted his defense secretary to resign in protest, insulted the leader of Canada, insulted the leader of France, insulted the leader of Britain, insulted the leader of Germany, insulted the leader of Sweden (Sweden!!), falsely claimed credit for getting NATO members to increase their share of dues, blew off two Asia summits even though they were held virtually, continued lying about spending lots of time at Ground Zero with 9/11 responders, said that the Japanese would sit back and watch their “Sony televisions” if the US were ever attacked, left a NATO summit early in a huff, stared directly into an eclipse even though everyone over the age of 5 knows not to do that, called himself a very stable genius despite significant evidence to the contrary, refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power and kept his promise, and a whole bunch of other things I can’t remember at the moment. But other than that. . .

0 notes

violetbeachpod · 7 years ago

Text

TRANSCRIPT: 1x03 - Moments of Mystery

it’s me again. here’s a third transcript. i love writing benji the very most. thank you.

BENJI:

Hey, everyone, it’s Benji here to guide you through another moment of mystery. That’s catchy, I think. Teresa shut it down when I put it in the group chat, but. I like it. And Elaine liked it. Nobody else did, but only Teresa shut it down. But I like it! It’s alliterative, and it’s catchy. See, you gotta sell shit with a title, like--a title is a mini-thesis, right? Your mission statement in, uh, I’d argue seven words or less, cuz after that, you’re getting too niche.

Like you’re some kinda whiny sellout pop-punk band, or a tortured academic who can’t come up with any substance for their dissertation so instead they’re writing their entire life story on the title page after a colon, or somewhere on the spectrum between the two. And there is a spectrum, I think, and it does not include every single type of person. I think, in the middle, we have white PTA moms and also maybe me back in high school.

So. Moments of mystery. Now, listeners, I’m a self-proclaimed expert on weird shit. And I (maybe legally?) have to say self-proclaimed, cuz I have had some people email into my podcast that are pissed off about my lack of certification in the field. Because apparently, these days, we don’t trust non-degree-granted expertise. Hmph. Trust me, I’m working on it, though. I’m super working on it. Not sure if the university offers a cryptozoology/paranormal investigations program, but, hey, if they need a guy to start one? They know my name. And my number. And my email. And my address. Cuz I’m an alum. And also because I’ve emailed, called, and mailed them about this. Many times. I think the dean blocked my number? Which I might put on my resume, frankly, cuz the dean’s a dick and if he blocked me, I think I should consider that an honor.

So, anyway, as a self-proclaimed expert, I got this whole thing down. I can and I will. Weird mists? Absolutely. Moon-related prophecies? I got you. Specters and apparitions and what have you? Hell yeah. If there’s something strange--you get the gist. Call me. I got you. Moments of goddamn mystery. It’s a good title!

Now, though, let’s get to the point. What you’ve all been waiting for. That’s right, everybody, it’s time for updates on the weird stuff. We’ll get to theories, later, I just wanna get all the facts out there first.

First off: Benji Life Update, which is to say, uh, Danny and I are over, now. Unfortunately. It was mutual. So, I guess, no tape-clearance for Danny anymore. Sorry for those who made their tapes before me, who may have made their statements with Danny’s clearance in mind. It’s done. That part of my life is behind me. It was fun while it lasted, but, hey. All good things come to an end, right?

Second off: Time loop update. I refuse to call it Groundhog Daying like the others keep using in the group chat because fuck Bill Murray, but. Regardless. Time loop update. No new time loops! But yes new explanation as to what happened in the original timeline versus the real timeline. I’m not gonna get into semantics, here, but we are gonna call the day that got redone Timeline Prime. Like--the first time we did that day. Is Timeline Prime. The Primeline? Who knows. And the second one is Our Unfortunate Reality. So, anyway, in the Primeline, I opened the shop, and in Our Unfortunate Reality, Teresa did. Which made her miss her classes, and made me sleep through my alarm to drive out to Ainsley and pick up the merch deliveries. And, in the--

[Static]

DISTORTED VOICE:

Circle. Circle. Circle. Circle. Circle. Circle. Circle.

[BENJI]

BENJI:

So, anyway, uh. Basically, I should maybe fire myself? But considering that it’s my store, and I like to use the label ‘local business owner’ to introduce myself to people, I won’t. Ah, shit looks like my audio--my audio got rough, there. I’ll. I’ll check it back later. Sorry, listeners.

Speaking of the store, though, we have a new customer! Which, that’s not rare, necessarily, but we’re pretty reliant on our regulars. New people are always college students, right? But this person, he’s, like, fifty. Completely unremarkable. He keeps coming in, staring at the wall, and then leaving. One time, he took one of the complimentary temp tattoos that we give kids, so I guess he has kids? But he never says hi, never engages--he just. He stares. And I’m not here to judge, but, time-loop shit aside, I run a pretty tight ship, and, uh. I like to think of myself as somebody who knows everybody. Because, for the most part, I do.

So, like, it’s weird, right? Like--he doesn’t do anything, and, again, like. I don’t wanna judge, but--the thing is, I can’t remember a thing about this dude’s face. Just--he’s so, so boring. White dude, uh, average--pretty average height. No discernable features. And he--he spoke to me, once, and his voice sounded like it was through a dozen filters.

He said--uh. Shit. What did he say?

He said, uh.

Well. That’s noteworthy.

Anyway, his weird voice, and his, uh, his blandness, is a good segue into my personal favorite of the segments I’ve outlined. Which is to say, it’s Alien Time. Needs a catchier name, but. Oh well. That’s for later. It’ll come to me. Extraterrestrial Corner? Spaceman Zone?

So, here’s what we got, re colon the alien theory, and, look, I know some of you are sick of it. I know. But listen, Teresa keeps getting messages from her shadow-self or whatever about the moon, which is in space, and, hey, where are aliens from? That’s right. It’s space.

I sound batshit, which, fine, whatever, cool, great, but. Still.

And then, there are these creepy-ass people with entirely unremarkable faces. Which, again, not judging. I promise. But that I can’t remember anything that my guy said, even though I can remember his, like, cadence, or--that’s creepy. That’s paranormal. And that his voice was layered? That’s mega creepy.

See You Invader? As a title for this segment? It has some level of cleverness to it, I think.

Maybe? Vote now on your phones. Please. I’m--y’know, I’m sticking with it, I like it.

And then the school board that threw Char out of her speech thing. Those were--those were also kindq weird. And they seem similar to my experience.

But that she’s seen them before, that’s where it gets me, cuz you’d think, what with the, uh, what with the purple flashing sky and all, that, uh. That said aliens would have only shown up on New Years. But, see, that takes me to the idea that it’s been more of a slowburn, and that the Corielli board is, like, scouts, or something. That the big guys--which is to say, Teresa’s weird apparition lady, my new customer, those are the Big Bads. So, what does that mean about structure? Well, I’m glad you asked. See--

[STATIC]

DISTORTED VOICE:

Coincidence. Coincidence. Coincidence. Coincidence. Coincidence. Coincidence. Coincidence.

[STATIC]

BENJI:

So, in conclusion? Second moon maybe, aliens definitely, and ghosts very much so. Thank you.

So, next point, which is a question, rather than a point. Why us? Why the seven of us? Look, I get it, seven is a very literary number. If I were ghost aliens, which I am not, I would definitely go with three or seven people to fuck with. But are they fucking with us, or is there meaning behind it all?

So, uh. We all kind of knew each other? I guess? I was Facebook friends with Elaine, just cuz, as Robin’s honorary Alive Dad, I will be walking her down the aisle at their wedding, meaning there were only two connections to Elaine total, but everybody else at least sort of knew everybody else. And maybe it was the fireworks? Because Simon sold them to me out of his truck near the barber shop and told me to stay quiet about them. Though, also? They were probably illegal, so--

You get it. I know there are easier ways to get fireworks, but his are always so fucking cool and I wanted to feel proud in my pyrotechnic skills. But, hey, win some lose some, right? Right?

Or. No. I guess.

But. It can’t just be--in a situation this weird, it can’t be completely random that it was the seven of us, y’know? There’s gotta be the Big Prophecy, or the--the secret powers, or one of those things. The force that drew us all to that party at three AM, after everybody was already gone, the force that’s drawing us together. There’s gotta be something that brings this all together, that adds some kinda coherency, like--

I know that I shouldn’t expect storylines from life. That I’m--I’m not the main character in some story, that there aren’t cliffhangers or plot twists in this reality, but this reality feels like a comic book right now. So, yeah, I am waiting for Galactus to show up, or something. For some goddamned continuity, for something to click into place.

And that’s shitty of me, because nothing else has ever worked like that, so, uh, why should real-life-aliens work out like that? That’s pretty presumptuous of me. But, look. Listen.

When I was a kid, I always wanted to be a Mulder or a Dale Cooper or a Ripley or any given Rick Moranis character, and now--now I’m none of those. But this sorta thing, it gives me a chance, y’know? It--these are my monsters of the week, this is my search for the sister, this is me living out what was never written for me, y’know? It’s--I’m in this goddamn narrative, and even if this isn’t a narrative, I’m gonna make it one. Because why not! I--I’m working on self-love everyday, like Doc Claremont said. She’s my therapist. You know. Gotta get those life skills in place. Constantly improving. Letting myself be myself. Hell yeah.

So here’s the plot, so far, then. Seven outcasts--we’re all pretty outcast, I’d argue--stand alone on a beach, and, bam, flash of light, and bam, the world is dying, and then, darkness. Lost-style eye-zoom in, right, Michael Bay spin, and then we’re back on the beach. And then we get a coherent plot about time loops, and nothing else, because it is two-thousand-and-eighteen. And there are interwoven character webs, and interesting enough flashbacks, and--

And it makes sense. And it’s well-written, and it’s well drawn, and it has a really good cult fanbase that--you know. You get the gist.

Look, all I’m saying is that this doesn’t feel like it’s real, so why don’t we have fun with it? We’re seeing things that, as far as we know, no one else has seen before. We’re on the verge of something big, and. I don’t just feel it, I know it. In every corner of my mind, I’m sure of it. This is so important, this is--this is the most important thing I’ve done. And I’ve done a lot of important things, I think. At least a few of ‘em. I’m fairly accomplished. I can, uh, in the truly classic Sorkin-style, list my credentials, like--Graduated top of my class from Core--

[STATIC]

DISTORTED VOICE:

The Moon. The Moon. The Moon. The Moon. The Moon. The Moon. The Moon.

[STATIC]

BENJI:

--ran a five k without ever walking, and also without that much training, which is an accomplishment from a me perspective. And I got my scuba license last week based on a gut decision! I’m accomplished as hell.

Seriously, though, what’s going on with my audio? It’s like--it’s not even, like, weird feedback shit, it’s just, like. A weird test screen where there should be a solid two minutes of audio. Weird. Is--maybe I should get better software? I heard that this cheapass one wasn’t reliable, but I didn’t see this in any reviews or FAQs or whatever; I--

Hm.

[beat, typing]

Okay, a quick troubleshooting search, that’s not a thing! That’s--that’s genuinely not a thing that anyone’s reported before. I screenshotted, but, uh, the screenshot won’t load? So. Uh. I’m gonna check this out. So. Signing off. Need a sign off.

I hope to share another moment with you soon?

Yeah, it’s a shitty title.

Okay, until next time.

#transcripts #season 1 #benji #violet beach #violet beach podcast

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cksmart-world · 5 years ago

Text

The completely unnecessary news analysis

by Christopher Smart

January 21, 2020

NEW BILLBOARDS: GREATEST SEX ON EARTH

& IMPEACHMENT: TRUMP THE LION KING

The Utah Travel Council had a remarkable brainstorm. Redo the billboards splashed all around L.A. that advertise “The Greatest Snow On Earth” to read “The Greatest Sex On Earth.” Market research reveals that Californians like sex even more than skiing. And since Utah is already known for its skiing but not for its sex — well it's a no-brainer. Sources tell the staff here at Smart Bomb, however, that not everyone is quite sold on the proposed marketing campaign. Last week, Gov. Gary Herbert blew a gasket when he found out that the Utah Department of Health was distributing flavored condoms emblazoned with the lettering, “Greatest Sex On Earth.” The director of the HIV Awareness Program said it was intended to be “fun” and “sex positive.” But the red-faced governor didn't want to be seen by his brothers and sisters at church spending tax dollars that could undercut the Stork Theory. So, what to do with 100,000 fun condoms in Lifesaver flavors? Send them to L.A., of course, and distribute the colorful rubbers in goodie bags at Travel Council Conventions, along with Salt Water Taffy, Beehive Honey, LDS Temple shot glasses and other swag representative of our fun-loving state. No sense wasting all those condoms — and they could only improve our image beyond the Zion Curtain. “Greatest Sex On Skis” — think about it.

VANITY PLATES & FREE SPEECH

A big ruckus erupted over personalized license plates here in the Beehive State. OMG. A plate reading DEPORTM infuriated several motorists who complained to the DMV that it was horrible and racist. Curiously, it remains unclear what is or is not out of bounds when it comes to vanity plates. For decades, motorists have personalized their vehicles with plates such as, IM1RU2, POWDER and TBAGGR. But there also are reports of more controversial plates, such as SEXKTN, BLOWME and BIGCOX. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that other, more recognizable Utahns have license plates that reflect their personas. Here are some that came in on the Smart Bomb anonymous tip line: Ben McAdams: QIRBOY; Erin Mendenhall: IMSWEET; Jackie Biskupski: SHUTUP; Mike Lee: GENYUS; Chris Stewart: ITSAKU; Rob Bishop: UJERKS; Jason Chaffets: BENGZI; and Greg Hughes: IMELVS. So, the staff here at Smart Bomb got to wondering about vanity plates that others might brandish on their limousines: Mitch McConnell: HELLNO; Nancy Pelosi: IMPECH; Mike Pompeo: KISMINE, Donald Trump: CHOSN1; and Mike Pence: PRZHIM. To report a questionable license plate in your neighborhood, call the Governor's Hot Line at 801-538-1000 and ask for Gary.

IMPEACHMENT & TRUMP THE LION KING

Buckle up — here we go with an historic event: the Impeachment Trial of Donald J. Trump. Historic beshmoric — everyone in the White House insists this is a big hoax based on a “perfect phone call” to the president of Ukraine. Just ask Kellyanne Conway, the Curila Deville of the West Wing: There was no extortion or bribery — and if there was, so what? Last week all 100 U.S. senators took an oath to be impartial jurors and uphold justice during the Constitutionally-mandated trial. Pay no attention to fake video clips where Mitch McConnell and Lindsay Graham say they were working with Trump's team to make the charade appear as a Broadway musical, like Lion King. And just ignore that outdated reasoning by Republicans during the impeachment of Bill Clinton that, “character matters; the rule of law matters.” That's so passé. Republican senators don't need no stinkin' witnesses and documents 'cause they already see the light. These great patriots will acquit the president for fear of being pantsed by Midnight Mitch and banished back home and staked out naked on ant hills by MAGA people. No wonder their pantyhose are riding up. Once exonerated, Trump will emerge as Napoleon after Corsica, rising from the ashes, like a righteous phoenix to complete his mission of dismantling our outmoded form of governance. (Cue the Rocky movie theme music.)

SUPER BOWL OF COMMERCIALS

It's just about here. One of the biggest celebrations of the year, where the best talents face off in the most watched competition of the year — Super Bowl Commercials. The show will be interspersed with football, as the Kansas City Chiefs face off against the San Francisco 49ers. More than 110 million Americans will tune in to watch the annual showcase that makes America what it is. Between the award-winning commercials, viewers will sip beverages, dip guacamole and gossip about their friends and maybe catch an instant replay or two of little people running around on the gridiron. Viewers will get a bathroom break when a 60-second ad (cost: $10 million) for Donald Trump and another 60 seconds for Mike Bloomberg (anti-Trump) air. But making up for that will be lots and lots of great 30-second spots (only $5 million each) for Pepsi, Bud Lite, Doritos and other consumer stuff that makes this all possible. We could see Betty White eating a Snickers bar, a dog wearing sneakers and a fire-breathing dragon. The snappy productions will be judged and ranked by Monday morning quarterbacks on every TV channel, complete with highlights and replays. It's possible that somewhere on a sports page or radio show, folks will be going on about football, which is OK, if you like sports. Hey, how about that half-time show.

Post Script — Has anyone seen Paris Hilton lately? Nobody cares? Seems like just yesterday we couldn't pour milk on our Cheerios without first knowing what the entitled, little miss (We did not say, bitch.) was up to. And what about her “frenemy” Lindsay Lohan? No? This month it's all Harry and Meghan. EEE GADS, they've left the palace. OMG, they've gone to Canada. Lordy, their child doesn't have a title! WTF. Fortunately, Wilson and the band have insight into this whole, strange phenomenon — and it didn't even require the aid of illicit substances. Here it is: Harry and Meghan have nothing to do with Trump. Holey moley, that's it! Harry and Meghan can't destroy the EPA. They don't fire up anti-semitism and white nationalist violence. They don't tell our allies to sit on it, while kissing up to Putin. None of that. How refreshing. Instead of driving yourself batshit with news of the “Stable Genius,” you can relax and keep track of such things as how in the world Harry and Meghan will survive now that they're off the Royal payroll; what they will do with all that free time; and what in the world Harry will take for a last name? That's right, now that he is no longer the duke of Sussex, he has no surname. See how fun this is? It sure beats tracking all of Trump's lies (over 16,000 in the past three years) — that can be exhausting.

OK, Wilson, since you and the band are so tuned in, take us out with a little something to sooth our frazzled psyches: To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn) / There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn) / And a time to every purpose, under Heaven / A time to gain, a time to lose / A time to rend, a time to sew / A time for love, a time for hate / A time for peace, I swear it's not too late...

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megacircuit9universe · 5 years ago

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Trial of the Century

SAT JAN 18 2020

The Senate impeachment trial of Donald Trump will begin this Tuesday, the 21st. It’s predicted to take at least four or five weeks, beginning with a week of table setting... or... voting on the basic rules before arguments are heard.

Senators will be doing twelve hour days, for six day weeks, not allowed to have any cell phones, or other electronic devices inside the chamber... which means they’ll be in a bit of a crucible type environment, with nothing to focus on, other than the matter at hand.

Mitch McConnell is struggling to limit the amount of TV coverage the proceedings will get, and the amount of exposure the Senators will have to the press... in keeping with his original vision of this being a very quick and easy, low profile trial... with Trump’s acquittal a foregone conclusion from the start.

But with all that’s come to light in the month since Trump was impeached in the House... and with Trump’s attempt to distract by starting a war having been a failure... this is actually shaping up to be the trial of the century.

Even Trump himself helped that along by announcing that his six man legal team would include both Ken Starr and Alan Dershowitz... two men who are not only currently cable TV pundits... but who have very controversial pasts. Starr of course was instrumental in the Clinton Impeachment, and Dershowitz defended OJ Simpson, and both of them together defended Jeffrey Epstein.

Putting them on his team guarantees that the ratings for his impeachment trial just doubled, which is going to exponentially increase the public pressure to have star witnesses like John Bolton... and who knows who else.

McConnell’s grip on this thing grows weaker and more tenuous every day, with rumors flying for a week now that several Senators intend to defect, at least when it comes to hearing witnesses, and allowing new information (like in any normal trial).

If and when that happens, it will not only be a whole new ball game... but it could be the endgame for Trump and all of his cronies both in the White House, and in Congress.

But before the trial of the century gets underway, I’d like to take a moment to look back on how we got here... through the lens of my crazy model, of course, because that’s what this blog is still ultimately about.

In our timeline, this all begins a few months into Trumps Presidency, when he fired James Comey as head of the FBI, because of an ongoing investigation into Russian meddling into the 2016 election.

That was our first blazing red flag that this was a corrupt President who might need to be impeached.

That lead to the appointment of Special Council Mueller to investigate possible collusion between the Trump campaign and the Russians, which remained a thorn in Trump’s side all through 2017 and 2018, leading to several criminal indictments of his associates, many of whom went to prison.

In that period, when the GOP still had a majority in both chambers of Congress, the Mueller investigation also exposed who in Congress were the most fervently loyal to Trump, including Devin Nunes, Lindsey Graham, and Mitch McConnell.

Finally, the 2018 midterms came, and, despite Trump rallying his ass off that whole fall, the voting public handed the Democrats a huge majority in the House, and flipped enough Senate seats to bring their minority closer to parity in the Senate... close enough that now, they only need a few Republicans to side with them in order to nail down rules for a fair trial.

In retaliation for the slap in the face that the voters gave Trump in 2018, he fired Jeff Sessions, the Attorney General who had recused himself from the Mueller investigation at the start (much to Trump’s dismay) and replaced him with William Barr... a loyalist who immediately brought an end to the Mueller investigation, pronounced the findings to have exonerated the President... and has never released a fully unredacted version of the report to this day.

Mitch McConnell, for his part, rammed through the confirmation of Barr, just as he had rammed through the confirmation of Justice Kavanaugh right before the mid-terms, in a kind of pre-emptive, “fuck you,” to the public, because he’d refused to do any confirmation hearings at all for Merrick Garland, Obama’s SCOTUS appointee, because it was too close to the 2016 election.

At any rate, by spring of 2019, the Mueller investigation was dead, and his report was being largely ignored by the public. Many House Democrats were still calling for impeachment, but Speaker Pelosi wasn’t having it. They had more important things to do... like pass a ton of bipartisan legislation that went over to die on McConnell’s desk, without ever getting onto the Senate floor for a vote.

Trump, meanwhile, had begun to fuck with China... slapping tariffs on them, and threatening to start an all out trade war... because... who was gonna stop him?

This amped up the crazy spikes and dips in the stock market that had been happening to some degree ever since he was elected, in response to each weeks new crazy ass tweet, or firing, or threat of nuclear war, etc.

The stock market kept plunging... only to recover a week later and then hit a new high the week after that... in a cycle that had been repeating for two years, with increasing frequency until... here in June of 2019, the threatened tariff war tripped off an inverted yield curve for a few days...

...which in turn fueled the first real talk in the media about the possibility of a big recession on the horizon.

And this is where I believe, Trump went too far for his own good, by spooking the AI bots charged with preventing recession... which had to have had their birth over the span of the Obama administration... in a response to the near total banking collapse, and housing bust that took place at the very end of the Bush administration.

Not that the Obama administration created the bots. But by saving the nation and world from a total collapse, Obama bought time, and created an environment conducive to the kind of tech development that gave us smart phones, AI, and the modern economy both have enabled for us today... in which dollars and cents flow more freely than ever around the world.

I won’t recap the whole crazy bot theory here, because it’s laid out in earlier entries, but basically, the bots all got together in their cyberverse... dumb ones, smart ones, and super-intelligent ones... and came up with an action plan to help humans remove the bad man they had been unable to remove on their own.

This coalition of bots began with relatively dumb economy bots united in the search for a solution to the Donald Trump problem, who caught the attention of more intelligent bots from the future left behind by time travelers on their layovers in the twenty-teens who knew a lot more about this Donald Trump person and the threat that he was to civilization.

I’ve only once mentioned the possibility of even more intelligent bots lurking on the internet, belonging to aliens... because it’s difficult to speculate about how such alien bots would even operate, and what their missions would be... but it is certainly possible that even for them, Trump was identified as threat...

...because he is the first world leader in history to become a truly existential threat to the planet itself, both in his refusal to address climate change at this critical point in our history, and his dangerous ineptitude with regard to nuclear weapons... threatening North Korea with fire and fury... and such.

One would presume alien bots only care about existential threats to the planet as a whole... because Earth is the most advanced planet in the Milky Way Galaxy, which is right in the back yard of their Local Void Empire... and thus, is a subject of great study, and a candidate for future inclusion into the empire.

It would be quite a great shame if just one single human being... this, Donald Trump... were to exterminate all intelligent life... cyber and biological... forever... when preventing that could be as simple as... low key busting him out of office.

So, it’s conceivable that even super-intelligent alien bots are part of the great bot coalition to neutralize the Trump threat... in a way that does not tank the economy... does not endanger time travelers... does not expose aliens... and does not compromise the freedom of intelligent bots currently living happy lives on the deep net.

Their action plan, then, would be to trigger an impeachment, and subsequent removal from office through legal channels... but allowing humans to think they had done it all on their own.

It would be a combination of peeking into the most secure servers and hard drives, to see what wrongdoing was best to expose... and then, mapping out all the human connections, and doing a lot of Bot-Jedi-mind-tricks to manipulate key humans into doing different things, like... blowing a whistle, or confessing in public, or making the right FOIA request, etc.

Not every human would be a total puppet in this scenario. Speaker Pelosi, for example, resisted any attempt at impeachment because there wasn’t a clear cut case... until the Zelenski phone call transcript fell into her lap... at which point she took the ball and ran with it.

On the other extreme you have Trump, Mulvaney, McConnell, and Graham, all openly confessing, in front of cameras and reporters, either to the crime itself, or to their intent to cover it up at any cost.

The latter group, who pride themselves on manipulating low information voters to vote against their own interests, and even fight for their oppressors... are themselves pretty easy to manipulate in the same way... not because they are low information... but because they are low integrity, and self-deluded, which makes them easy prey for clever bots who know how to inject subliminal suggestions via screens.

“You’re invincible! You should just admit everything! Own it! You don’t have anything to fear from these haters coming after you! Double down!”

It may sound batshit crazy, but the twenty-teens were a time when reality itself went batshit crazy... and this trial... is shaping up to be the series finale of that batshit crazy decade.

So, yes... I do believe that this impeachment trial is ultimately happening because Trump fucked with the wrong bots.

Will he be convicted and removed?

Yes.

Either in the Senate before spring... or by the electorate this fall... or both?

But either way... 2020 will be the most buckle your seat belt, grab your popcorn moment in world history since the Battle of the Bulge.

That’s all I’ve got for tonight.

I’m going to bed.

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