Thinking about the pillager trio killing and dying on their own terms
Lizzie can rest in peace knowing that her death was her choice. She took her life before her curse could, and she will be remembered and feared till the end of the server.
Joel went off with a bang, no longer needing to hold back. There's nothing more gratifying than his grave being covered in other people's blood.
Jimmy made sure he couldn't be pitied. His life would not be cut short by his curse. If he was going out first, he would do it on his own terms. This was a choice. The survivors will not ignore his agency.
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I love your Shadowheart art, I'd love to see your Tav. Do you have any headcanons with you Tav and the party? Romance/friends bffs etc?
Omg that's so sweet, I can't believe someone is interested in seeing my Tav 😭❤️ This is her, her name is Ren, pronouns she/they (in game I sometimes switch between she/her and they/them using the magic mirror basically lol)
They're a half-drow fighter with urchin background, basically a scrappy street kid who had to learn to survive. Her main drive is that she would do anything for her friends, and as someone who had never worshipped any gods or had reason to trust in figures of authority, she just wants everyone to understand that they are fine the way they are and don't need the approval of some god. She doesn't seek authority or power and thinks that doing so never ends up being like, good for you (holding Astarion and Gale by the scruff of their necks)
Before the events of the game they'd say 'yeah i basically just want to survive and not be bothered lol' but when put in a situation where they have the power to help someone less fortunate they will ALWAYS take the opportunity to do so - too much of life spent being the one less fortunate!
Despite being a half-drow they'd never actually seen the Underdark before the events of the game and never met their drow father either so all that ancestry has really been to them is the assumptions people make.. In her appearance I was going for like, softer features than most drow seem to have and kind, human, brown eyes<3 You can'r rly see it in the pictures but she also has the neck rose tattoo.
They're a bit on the quiet and pensieve side (especially for a fighter) but have a cheeky sense of humour and always stay positive!!
This is the only art I've really done of Ren so far lol
Sketched it out after the first Shadowheart romance scene so YEAH Shart romance obviously hehe Ren was immediately drawn to her because 1)hot goth girl hiiiii and 2)she could see the incongruity between what SH said she was and believed and her actual morals and behaviour. And Ren's calm, kind and unjudgemental presence made Shadowheart trust her very quickly. Basically an immediate attraction and fascination that quickly turned into a strong bond, ik that's not very unique or interesting sorry they're just in louve<3
as for the other party members she feels very close to Astarion (just drawn to edgy bitches with a dark past ig!!) and is basically trying to domesticate him and show him the joys of found family. Karlach is also a very easy natural friend for her as they're similar in many ways although Ren is much quieter and less intense lol but they're Best Bros and drink beer together and arm wrestle and laugh at stupid shit
also good buds with Gale despite his initial romantic intentions and she helps him with the cooking<3 She admires Lae'zel and feels for her struggle a lot but had a bit of a harder time with her at first because of the rough bossiness but they grew closer over time and respect each other greatly. and loves Wyll obviously who doesn't love Wyll but rolls her eyes at his dramatic heroism. Really vibes with Jaheira's sense of humour and thinks shes hot too
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I don't know... horrible things happen all around the world and it's not a competition
Atrocities are committed against multiple groups in multiple parts of the world at the exact same moment, and none of them erase each other. They all matter, all the people in this world who are being brutalized matter. There shouldn't be any line you draw where one group doesn't actually matter as much as another
You're welcome to prioritize your energy towards helping one group or another, but what's not ok is invalidating or dismissing people who are actively being harmed
Same goes for trying to figure out which social group has things worst (and lets be honest, always using a US lens)
Like... maybe the important thing is to prop each other up and help everyone get on their own feet rather than trying to... pick fights about if physical disabilities or mental illness are less respected (I'm trying to pick a more absurd example but sadly I've seen exactly that argument happen before). Maybe it doesn't really matter and what matters is helping who we can when we can
I'm tired of it, I'm just fucking tired of it. Support people, champion them when the world is just brutalizing them, but you don't need to throw a single other person under the bus to do that
Which seems to be an absolutely impossible lesson for people to learn
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Thinking more about umbraclaw and while there’s stuff to critique from the gameplay side I think probably the biggest flaw of it is like everything to do with the writing, and I don’t mean just plot.
It’s one of those things where it’s like- The basic narrative of the story is got across well regardless of what ending you get-yes I did look it there being multiple endings lol-and it’s the first entry of a series so the story not being the best can be forgiven but it’s a shame NOTHING is super fleshed out. Not just the soul plane but the characters don’t get much at all, they kinda just exist as set pieces to move the narrative forward. Kuon, the mc oddly never talks that the characters always acknowledge it so she’s basically a blank slate and I’m unsure if it’s because we’re meant to project onto her/interpret her whoever we please or if it’s just to reflect she’s not like the others and she’s a normal animal.
We also don’t get to know enough about her owner that it’s actually hard to care about her other then “well she seems nice ig” since you can’t say you want to care about Kuon because she’s blank unless you really put yourself in her shoes or your own pet into her place ig. And don’t even get me on how LOCKE is so weirdly interrogated into the plot and clearly has more to him yet is left off being so vague, like we get teased he’s like you but never are directly shown or hinted at that. He’s just there as a rival but he’s not at ALL fleshed out enough or placed right into the plot even if he’s spared at the end which doesn’t amount to anything, he’s just there yet again to be a set piece that’s just a bit different from the others. (And also how he hints at a deeper theme of losing control of yourself in terms make you forget who you are but it’s not explored ENOUGH even if he’s there to reinforce it it only comes up in one ending)
Like this story doesn’t make me super angry to hate the game as I’m still gonna do another ending and overall playing it is a really interesting experience I won’t get from anything else, but maaan if we get a sequel I hope the plot is reworked significantly cause it sucks how it’s “not a bad story but also a story with no substance”.
Its something that’s satisfying only because it’s a what you see is what you get thing but doesn’t have anything deeper to really pick at.
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Thank you for your tags on the baeddalism post. As someone who is aroace (formerly biace) and a nb transmasc I've literally watched every identity I have be dragged into discourse time and time again and it's always the exact same rhetoric to a nauseating degree. People are so terminally online that they constantly invent new nonexistent stereotypes of other queer identities to get mad at or just pick a queer identity to be the monster of the week, and it's excruciating to see it repeat the same way everytime.
I wanted to try to respond to this more eloquently after i had some caffeine, but if we wait for eloquence itll go unanswered for years. but lmao yea of course. Im also aroace and enby. I was here since like 2014, I suffered through reading all these same stupid arguments about a-specs and my tolerance for it is so fried. The queer infighting and gatekeeping bullshit is so rotting. I hope we learn one of these days. My disillusion that this keeps fucking happening is at least tempered by the fact that all the blogs who I followed for good takes on inclusionism and queer solidarity during the acecourse are also not tolerating this shit, and they are recognizing it as the same old bullshit its been the whole time.
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it is interesting to me that ive seen lately (n yknow this is subjective and likely not any real social force just what ive seen) many queer people simultaneously talking about taking back and embodying unpalatable and ‘unmarketable’ queerness (the recent return to the terms faggot and transsexual come to mind) which i think is pretty evidently shaped by the conservative moment were in of demonizing queer ppl and especially gnc and trans people as predators--it reads as a return to queer isolationism in the face of external hostility, imo--while at the same time ive seen a lot of rallying around the “original” 6 stripe rainbow flag as opposed to any of the purportedly ‘factional’ flags of different queer identities, with the assumption being different identity flags divide us while the rainbow flag encompasses everyone and its kinda fascinating to me bc the rainbow flag is probably the single most marketable and palatable and uncontroversial symbols of queerness which has been seamlessly uptaken by those who wish to sell it back to us as gets pointed out every pride month with all the cringey pride merch....
i dunno you could maybe take that as a point of hypocrisy and claim the queer community is itself in a conservative moment rn where its returning to a sense of history and historical continuity (perhaps even out of that sense of external threat) or even that the queer community has for some time been in a conservative moment given the like, decade of identity discourse and lashing out at any people deemed to not have a sufficiently established history or however we should categorize the bihets/ace discourse/transtrender-tucute discourse/pan discourse/bi lesbians discourse (because lets be frank its essentially all the same discourse just keeping up its momentum by leapfroging from one target to the next) which i think is, like, SOMEWHAT true but not entirely?
its more interesting to me, in any case, as an expression of a conflict the queer community is facing given that current state of affairs RE antitransness and that very recent history. like, the simultaneous need to retreat to a safe sense of community which is welcoming to the very things the outer world is demonizing ie mutable gender, complex or contradictory experiences of gender, gender expression which is hostile to the cis binary, but also the ways in which it has to grapple with those discourses which have largely defined the community infighting for again the past decade. its queer people begging the question ‘how can we make the queer community welcoming to the girlfags and genderfucks and tboys who are being threatened when we have spent so much time making the queer community a hostile place for anyone with a non-conventional or not easily (or even just palatably) sortable sense of queer identity’. and the answer it seems to be grappling with at the moment is like, welcoming all that diversity of experience but being absolutely averse to naming it. yes we love all the fuckery with gender and sexuality never be marketable but like, ew, why are you calling yourself [insert microlabel here]. you can be genderweird but you cant call yourself genderweird. you can only exist as queer in the broadest possible way (the all-inclusive gay pride flag!) but if you try to name the specifics or use those identity labels weve been fighting over for years youre doing it wrong (the progress pride flag is now ugly and cringey and ‘too much’). i think theres something also to the way (at least on this site) transmisogynistic discourses have really taken hold as legitimate (though yknow i wont downplay how much a problem transmisogyny has like. always been in queer spaces no matter what) in the name of protecting n defending trans people. like its just regurgitated transmisogyny but its being mobilized supposedly in the service of helping trans people. idk its definitely getting a little late for me to string this together fully coherently but theres a throughline there, in the ways certain ideas are being consolidated and reified as ‘yes were more progressive now!’ when i think theres definitely something to question there in terms of like...are we? are we actually? are we doing better by the people were trying to help or are we setting strict standards and forcing ppl to adhere to them again?
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So last night I was ranting to Kit and Jamie about something transphobic that had gone down at my younger brother’s school that day, and then suddenly the faucet in the kitchen turned on by itself, so the take away from this event is that the ghost in my house is trans :)
All Hail King Marcus the trans ghost
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