#wdym his name is ASS

[sphericalbee]

What we do in the shadows memes (Ctto)

[hijinxinprogress]

Coffee addict Never sleeps Tim drake ❌ 

Solving cases in his sleep off 87 energy drinks Tim Drake ✅

The coffee addict never sleeps perpetually tired Tim Drake thing is a widely accepted headcanon however that was elementary school tim but after he stayed up for a week straight subsisting entirely on coffee to decipher the bat weekly patrol schedule and how it aligns with rogue attacks/Arkham breakouts, he crashed then when he woke up it was fucking wednesday so he missed his chance to commemorate his discovery with pictures of Robin and he decided that shit would never happen again and made himself an ‘efficient’ sleep schedule so he could run around doing fuck shit, add to his robin shrine, and stay on honor roll bc he was even more pissed to see the gotham gazette had pictures of Robin with an on site interview credited to Vicki Vale (listen bowl cut tim had a one sided beef with vicki vale that included tim judging who gets better pics of the bats but she isn’t even aware that she’s competing with a whole ass child 😭 he’s sitting at the table with a mug of orange juice and looks at the newspaper snorts and goes ‘fucking amateur I could do better’) 

Regularly unsupervised tiny businessman in training Tim ‘Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep?? That’s so inefficient not to mention fucking stupid’ Drake is so pissed he missed getting shots of Robin dropkicking a rogue from 6 six stories up (for absolutely no reason dick just thinks it’s fun) that he just takes at least 3 hour naps every eight hours 😭 he refuses to spend almost half a day sleeping ‘for no reason when he could be doing something productive’ 

And he still does this as a bat but it’s just easier to tell if he didn’t take his nap bc he has less than zero impulse control and he’s just fucking done with everything like the gcpd is terrified bc tim’s saying shit like ‘This guys a fucking moron, I could’ve done this in half the time without killing anyone fucking loser doesn’t he know if you keep them alive you can prolong the torture?’ and ‘you’re like all hysterical and for what 🤨 ‘you blew up 83% of Bristol waah’ stfu and fucking rebuild it?? It’s only rich mfs that live there, it’s just a matter of them opening their fucking wallets’ once a new recruit made the mistake of asking if robin had adult supervision regularly and Tim responded with ‘well if you’re gonna snitch to cps like a little bitch then yeah’ and that cop did snitch so tim fucking doxxed him

Yj has just accepted that sometimes they will find tim in an air vent, on the roof, in one of their closets, or something just fucking knocked out then an alarm will go off and he’ll just get up like nothing happened but for the first couple of months they were probably concerned bc ‘I’ve never seen you sleep?? wtf are you on man’ and Tim’s confused bc ‘I slept next to you this morning wdym??’ and that’s how yj discovers tim sleeps with his eyes open

But one of the worst things about Tim’s ‘time efficient sleep schedule’ nonsense is that it fucking works he’s one of the most well rested and coherent bats even after back to back Arkham breakouts however the absolute worst thing about his sleep schedule is the likelihood of going into the cave and seeing tim staring in a daze but wide eyed yet somehow never blinking at the batcomputer with 57 tabs open on top of being unresponsive and thinking he has a fucking concussion or he’s been replaced but he’s just doing case work while muttering nonsense in his fucking sleep for some reason

[tacagen]

god he has no fucking life

[zappedbyzabka]

[hauntingblue]

ZORO LORE FINALLY ⁉️

[brainrotzora]

recent ffxiv livetweeting. spoilers through the end of arr patch quests btw.

[gh0stsp1d3r]

nah cause all i can think abt it rafe being an absolute DICKHEAD to everyone but you. like he 180 changes when ur around and it completely baffles everyone.

OOOOH yes. everyone tellin you “he’s a dickhead, I don’t get why you’re with him.” And youre like “wdym? he’s the sweetest boy ever.” because you nd him and literally like this everyday

his friends hate it sm. I imagine it would go something like this

🪷 ꪆৎ 🕊️‧₊˚♡︎

Everywhere Rafe went, you followed. His friends never had the balls to say anything and just let it happen.

At parties, he was drinking and leaning in his chair, talking to Barry, who currently smoked a joint. A man sat in front of them, offering them an amount of money for the gold from the cross.

Rafe shook his head at the offer.

“That all?” Rafe asked him, unamused.

“I mean,” the dude scoffed. “How much would you take for it?”

“This bar is at least 5 grand. If you don’t got the money, fuckin’ stop wasting my time.”

“How is that five grand?”

Rafe rolled his eyes, irritated as he shut the case the gold was kept it. “Yo, what the fuck did I just say? Stop wasting my time. Get the fuck out.” He nodded, the man scoffing and shaking his head, standing up and walking away.

Rafe seemed irritated, his eyebrows furrowed and his face rested in an annoyed expression. That was until he glanced up and saw you walking towards him.

The man that had tried to buy the gold pushed past you, making you furrow your eyebrows at his rudeness.

Rafe had seen it, his irritation and anger bubbling once again. You just shrugged it off as you continued your stride to your boyfriend.

And he saw your bubbly demeanor, bouncing around happily as you walked towards him with the sweetest smile. He melted, the corners of his lips twisting up to form a smile. You fell into his lap, clearly drunk as you slurred out his name happily, hiding your face in his shoulder.

“Hey, baby.” He mumbled softly and quietly, hands rubbing circles on your legs.

Barry raised his eyebrows at Rafe, Rafe motioning for him to leave, his old glare back before he turned his attention back to you.

“You tired?” He asked you quietly.

“Yeah. Wanna go home, Rafey.” You whined and complained. And with anyone else, the nickname would have had someone 6 feet under.

“Alright. We’ll go home. Lemme just clean up here, Kay���?” He patted your ass softly, gently getting you off his lap.

“‘Kay.” You mumbled tiredly, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and waiting, but before he could even turn around to you, you were fast asleep on the couch.

He sighed, shaking his head and smiling again to himself.

[catiuskaa]

missed me, missed me, now you gotta...

SUMMARY: minho wasn’t grumpy, nor he was jealous. but he hasn’t been the same ever since he fell in love with you.

REQUESTED! by a sweet annonie right here. pookie, your idea was lovely to write! lil grumpy minho, im melting… it’s a bit short, but I hope you like it! <3

CW: use of (crack) text messages to convey the plot, starring: han quokka as cupid + reader’s bsf, clingy minho as king of my heart, and ngl, type 1 diabetes fluff ahead. keep insulin shots close just in case! lol

WC: 1.1k

A/N: i love how i’m slowly turning into a minho blog/page lmaoo, only minho: the man, the myth, the legend!

[🪻☆🌫️☆🪻]

The same ringtone buzzed again during rehearsals. Its ding had sounded so many times already that it had started to get repetitive really quickly.

Minho frowned as he looked in the mirror, retouching his rolled sleeves just once more for what he secretly knew it had been more than twenty times. In the span of ten minutes. Maybe even less.

But Minho wasn’t ‘grumpy’.

He so wasn’t.

His day had been normal so far. He had no reason to be grumpy. Not one what-so-ever.

He had woken up in between your arms, and even if he had ‘complained’ about it, he loved being the little spoon. And also, his cats jumped on the bed and, just for once, none of them landed on his face.

There had been just one thing.

…

Well. Technically more than one.

You had rushed outside this morning. You claimed you didn’t have time to have breakfast with him, because you were late for something he didn’t really get. Because of that, you hadn’t come over to the JYP building with him. He had to drive over alone. And you hadn’t pecked him goodbye at the entrance like always.

But he. Wasn’t. Grumpy.

Not. At. All.

> sunggie: girl, did you hide his cats or smth?

< minho’s owner: lol, wdym dude?

> sunggie: he looks like he’s going to kill me.

> sunggie: And he loves me! Wtf??

“Jisung-ah.”

Han shrieked in his place in the sofa, his phone almost falling off his hands. He quickly turned it off, hoping that the grumpy dancer hadn’t seen the old or new messages.

“Who were you texting?” Minho frowned, deeper this time.

“Oh.” Jisung chuckled. “Just checking in on noona.”

“My girlfriend?” The way Minho enunciated the title felt a bit possesive. Jisung eyed at him weirdly for a second. Even he felt weird himself.

Jisung nodded sheepishly, turning his phone back on but quickly opening a random app.

“Yeah. I owed her a call back.” He shrugged, nonchalantly accepting that he had opened Subway Surfers, and started to play.

As the catchy music came from Han’s phone, Minho shook his head.

Not grumpy.

Not at all.

But the thought that you had been texting Han and didn’t text him —instead of him— did funny things in his chest.

Now, keep in mind that Minho would never describe himself as a jealous man.

He trusted you with his cats, of course he trusted you regarding your relationship. But he had barely got a hold of you all day. And Han had. By call and text. Like he was doing now.

Not grumpy.

Sure.

< minho’s owner: you dead yet?

Jisung groaned.

> sunggie: no! you made me lose my score!

> sunggie: and I don’t have any keys! ㅠㅠ

< minho’s owner: sucks to suck, lol

< minho’s owner: but what’s wrong with my future husband? did you do something?

> sunggie: he’s moody since he came in this morning.

> sunggie: you weren’t here tho. smth wrong between ya?

< minho’s owner: no…? just had to run to work early…

And then, something in Jisung’s paboracha brain connected. Probably because of how he had named your contact in his phone.

> sunggie: omg

< minho’s owner: what?

> sunggie: that corny dumbass

> sunggie: he’s so stupid

< minho’s owner: bitch what is it???

> sunggie: he’s moody bc u didn’t come in with him today!

You hesitated. Could that be it?

< minho’s owner: really? u think so?

> sunggie: bitch I know so!

> sunggie: imma go get boba for the boys, get your ass here and come w/ me

Jisung’s brain started to work at cupid’s speed.

< minho’s owner: omw. be there in 5’

“Guys, I’m gonna go get boba. Do any of you want something?”

The rest of the gang blabbered something while some kept going over the steps of the choreography and the others rested on the couch, doozing off or on their phones. Han quickly noted down everyone’s orders, not before being squinted down by Minho. He held back a shiver.

“Clingy prick…” Jisung mumbled, leaving quickly.

He walked out of the JYP building, waiving and half bowing to the staff members and other artists in the building.

< minho’s owner: just parked! ^^

Jisung entered the boba place next to the building, smiling at the cashier as he read down the orders on his note app, and stood aside, waiting for the drinks.

“Hey!” You smiled widely at him, taking off your scarf, merely leaving it hanging on your shoulders. He clapped your hand, playfully slapping your back.

“Working hard?” Jisung snickered, pointing at the bag on your other hand.

You side-eyed at him, giggling softly.

“Took some snacks before heading off.” You shrugged. “We can sneak these in, right?”

Jisung scratched the back of his neck. “We’ll… come up with something.”

You both struggled carrying the drinks, teasing each other and betting who’d make a mess first. But all giggles came to an end when the security guard stared at you.

“Name and business?” He asked in a low huff.

Your body stiffened.

“She’s my sister,” Han chimed back. You were in fact far from being his sister, but that didn’t matter when the guard seemed to nod. “She’s just helping me carry the drinks inside.”

“And the bag? What’s inside?”

You cleared your throat, smiling. “Clothes for him to change once he finishes training.” You lied.

Thank God for his imagination. And for his stupid idea of shoving your scarf and his hoodie into the bag of snacks.

“Ok. You may come in.” The guard smiled politely.

Only after the both of you had gotten into the elevator you allowed yourselves to let out a sight full of relief. You two then smirked, high-fiving.

“Thank you, bro.” You teased in a snicker.

He cackled. “You’re welcome, sis.”

You both laughed and joked until you reached the training room.

“The person you dream of is back!” Han cackled.

“Noona!” Felix grinned happily.

“Yeah, that’s me!” You cackled at Jisung’s faked frown.

You smiled and greeted everyone as you entered, leaving a certain bunny boy for last.

You sat next to him on the couch, and without missing a beat, he took your legs and layed them on his lap.

You took a sip of his drink, and he stared at you, almost with a squint.

“You’ve made me jealous of fucking Han Jisung.” He stated matter-o-factly, making you practically choke on the tapioka pearls.

You coughed. “What?”

“You texted him all evening. And me? Not even a good luck kiss this morning.”

“Aw, are you grumpy, kitten?” You grinned teasingly, speaking only towards him in a soft tone to his ear. You pecked his cheek.

He needed more of those.

Grumpy, huh?

“Yes. Very.” He mumbled, hiding his blushed and pleased grin in the crook of your neck. “Need more kisses.”

“Well, you know how it goes.” You mumbled in a snicker. He hummed at you, waiting for you to explain.

You kissed his forehead softly, his hands stroking your thighs.

“Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me.”

~Kats, who can write this in one sit, but can’t figure out how chemistry works (yes have exams, why did I choose this for myself, help)

[disneyprincemuke]

the best of (instagram) * driverkiddies

(series masterlist) | (📂 smau specials)

driverkiddies

liked by rockysroads, logansargeant and 4,429 others

driverkiddies everyone please say hello to my child, he’s a stray i picked up from the streets of australia that i named kidnapper

view all 487 comments…

logansargeant crazy how i didn’t join you at the club for one night and i woke up with a pet cat

rockysroads please address him by his name ty

user1 pet cat…? this is ur pet?

user2 BLACK CAT LOVER

user3 black cats are good luck… y/n wdc 2023?

oscarpiastri hehe meow.

driverkiddies no ❤️

logansargeant ???

landonorris did you get hacked mate wtf

maxverstappen1 tell ur cat to respect me

driverkiddies also no ❤️

rockysroads u heard the cat

logansargeant i cant even get it to like me

user4 RESPECT TO KIDNAPPER PLEASE

driverkiddies exactly these bitches have NO respect for my baby user4

alex_albon this is the only likeable member in ur household

rockysroads i might have to agree with you on this one

logansargeant saying that when i exist is crazy dawg

alex_albon huh logansargeant

williamsracing aww welcome to the family, kidnapper!!! 💙

rockysroads admin ur my baby’s godparents

logansargeant i literally pay for this cat’s litter wdym kidy/n

rockysroads do yall hear sumn

andrettiracing black cats are good luck!!!

sebastianvettel true

driverkiddies

liked by rockysroads, logansargeant and 7,429 others

driverkiddies “i think he’s starting to like me” - logan sargeant, 2023

view all 2,439 others…

logansargeant he is

rockysroads ur real funny

oscarpiastri did the cat tell you that, logan?

lilyzneimer that cat likes me more than he likes logan

rockysroads real

rockyskiddies rocky is my favourite

rockysroads so true rockyskiddies

logansargeant are u out of ur mind talking to urself in the instagram comments? rockysroads

rockysroads shut ur mouth logansargeant

sebastianvettel when am i seeing kidnapper again

driverkiddies i know ur a dog lover ❤️

rockysroads haha

sebastianvettel ur weird for answering me with two different accounts

rockysroads wdym thats kidnapper typing on the phone

sebastianvettel ?

logansargeant she bought him a pretend phone

rockysroads it’s a real phone

lilymhe aww, they’re getting along well!!! 💙

logansargeant not true, kidnapper took my spot on the couch

alex_albon understandable

driverkiddies u might be my favourite alex

driverkiddies

liked by logansargeant, sebastianvettel and 11,429 others

driverkiddies stubby puppy

view all 4,329 comments…

rockysroads i’m never letting u use this account ever again what kinda dumb ass caption is that

logansargeant u cant appreciate real art and it shows

sebastianvettel sigh

driverkiddies shut up 💙

oscarpiastri valid reaction

daltonsargeant boring caption

rockysroads that’s what i’m saying

blythesworld shouldve kept this ig account to urself sis

daltonsargeant what she said blythesworld

maxverstappen1 do u want another pet

sebastianvettel she does not.

rockysroads hi, u called for me?? what pet? hi?

logansargeant enough please

charles_leclerc what a cute puppy!!!

lilyzneimer is for me???

oscarpiastri girl shut up we’re not getting a dog

lilyzneimer lol haterrrr

nicolepiastri apologise oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri sorry lilyzneimer

oscarpiastri FOR FUCKING NOTHINGYGGGG lilyzneimer

dalt0ns my dog

driverkiddies you babysat stubby ONE TIME does NOT mean he is your pet please get a grip on life

daltonsargeant i’ll get u ur own dog

dalt0ns i knew i always liked u more than logan

logansargeant wow i cant catch a break

driverkiddies

liked by logansargeant, lilyzneimer and 10,492 others

driverkiddies logan had one job and it was to find stubby a Halloween costume and he couldn't even do that

view all 3,148 comments...

logansargeant wow

rockysroads u always make stubby feel like the non-favourite child

rockysroads it's sick

sebastianvettel why is logan ostracising stubby

rockysroads he hates stubby lowkey

logansargeant no i dont wtf i love him very much

lilyzneimer why does kidnapper get a whole outfit and stubby only gets a pumpkin :/

logansargeant I WAS VERY BUSY OKAY

rockysroads because logan plays favourites :/

logansargeant STOP SAYING THAT I WAS JUST BUSY

oscarpiastri justice4stubby

[marlenesluv]

۵pairing: fem!albonsibling!ballerina x platonic f1 grid. slight readerxlandonorris

۵type: social media au

۵authors note: i’m super excited to continue this! i’m hoping it will be a little series :) also, the picture for the series has my main blog name but i’m too lazy to change it lolz.

۵warnings: slight language

۵summary: y/n albon and her partner seem to have a little fall out…how will her fans and friends react?

۵this is part 2! please read part 1 before this (it’s my work, just on my main blog)

masterlist here -> masterlist link

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

yourinstagram

liked by landonorris, arthur_leclerc, and 838,103 others

y/n.albon: solo practice mornings 🩰

view comments…

user9: no ben…?

↳ user2: he’s been kinda absent as of lately…

lilymhe: you look like an angel

↳ y/n.albon: i love you more than i love alex

↳ alex_albon: excuse me??

user5: the bell jar? someone cooked here

user3: solo???

landonorris: i’ll just come to your studio and keep you company!

↳ y/n.albon: yeah, you can not do that. my ballet instructor would literally kick you out

↳ landonorris: oh😟

user8: anyone else notice that ben hasn’t liked any of y/n’s recent posts?

↳ user6: yeah, i noticed that too!

↳ user8: kinda suspicious since they usually always like and comment on each others posts…

………………..

bensinstgram

liked by destinyyy and 251,007 others

bens.insta: a day with my love 💓

view comments…

destinyyy: i love you💓

↳ bens.insta: i love you more💓

user4: wait a damn minute…..

user7: y/n and ben practiced everyday together since they were 16, and he stops to go on a date??

f1updatepage: oh boy, drama is upon us, folks

↳ user2: you got that right

user9: ben ditches y/n for his gf and lando said he would come over to keep her company? idk. i wish lando was a ballet dancer fr

↳ user1: LMAO SAME. he seems much more reliable

user0: this is some crazy shit right here

user7: so..are y/n and ben partners, orrrr?

↳ user8: they didn’t say they weren’t, but here ben is, posting his gf when he should be at the studio?

………………..

yourinstagram story

seen by landonorris, danielricciardo, and 789,024 others

…………………

twitter:

F1 Updates @f1updatepage • 5hr

Y/N Albon has recently posted her solo practices on social media, leaving fans speculating. Her ballet partner of 8 years, Ben, went on a date while she was practicing. Fans believe that Ben and Y/N might have stopped being partners since Bens girlfriend, Destiny, came into the picture. What do you think?

↳ Y/N FanPage @y/n4lifeee • 5hr

I think Y/N deserves a ballet partner who she can rely on😭 If Ben actually left because of his girlfriend, that’s not only rude to Y/N, but stupid. They are amazing together, but whatever. His call I guess.

↳ Ferrari Fans @ferrariclassics • 5hr

Ben is a piece of shit. That’s what I think😙

↳ Carlando Babe @carlandocontent • 4hr

We should just wait for Y/N or Ben to speak out about whether they are partners or not. Speculating does no harm, but it’s just a never ending circle of ‘what if’s’.

↳ Albon Siblings!!! @albonsibsupdates • 4hr

As much as I like Ben and Y/N as a duo for ballet, I don’t like when Y/N has to solo practice. She deserves the best, not some half-assed guy who’s too busy with his gf.

………………….

landosinstagram

liked by y/n.albon, charles_leclerc, and 389,240 others

tagged: y/n.albon, charles_leclerc

lando.jpg: grid party🍾

view comments…

user8: y/n is at party with the grid??

↳ user2: this is suchhh a slay

flupdates: this wasn’t on my bingo card but i’m living

y/n.albon: last night was sm fun

↳ landonorris: do you remember anything?

↳ y/n.albon: ummm.. next question

alex_albon: ive never seen my sister so shit faced

↳ lilymhe: i have

↳ y/n.albon: omg lily

↳ alex_albon: wdym, lily?

↳ lilymhe: uhhhhh jk

user4: lily exposing y/n time

user7: HELP😭 who’s pouring champagne in y/n’s mouth💀

↳ user6: looks like kika LMAOOO

user1: i love how close y/n is to the grid

………………

bensinstagram

liked by destinyyy and 190,377 others

bens.insta: hi, guys! a lot of stuff has been going around on the internet and i wanna set some things straight. first of all, yes, i have officially quit ballet. but it has nothing to do with y/n and all to do with the fact that i am just not as in love with the sport as i use to be.

secondly, please keep my girlfriends name out of your mouth if you are going to bad talk her. she’s done nothing wrong.

lastly, i really do wish y/n the best with ballet. she’s very talented and i know she’ll make it far. that being said, no, we don’t have any communication as of late. things have been said that we both regret. i hope you all understand.

*comments have been disabled on this post*

………………

yourinstagram

liked by lewishamilton, landonorris, and 1,012,004 others

y/n.albon: i suppose it’s my turn to speak about this. ben posted last night about him quitting ballet, which is obviously a fact. it sucks that i’m loosing a partner i’ve been doing ballet with for 8 years, but that’s life. friendships were made, but new ones can be made. friendships were also torn down. it’s unfortunate, but the ball was not in my court. i regret not a word that i said to ben. ending these types of professional relationships sucks, but that’s what it was. professional.

view comments…

user3: QUEEN SPOKE FAX AND KEPT HER COMMENTS ONNNN👏

alex_albon: so glad you spoke your part. you’re an incredible sister. me and lily love you

↳ y/n.albon: aww, i love you both too

landonorris: sorry about ben. should i bring pizza or indian for when i come over?

↳ y/n.albon: indian pls!

↳ alex_albon: you’re going over to her house??

↳ alex_albon: why is no one answering my texts???

user7: i frankly don’t gaf about ben. i’m more invested in the fact that lando and y/n are hanging out without the grid

↳ user1: REAL. like, plsss i need content

charles_leclerc: you’re an amazing dancer, you’ll find another partner!

↳ y/n.albon: ty charles!!!

f1updates: “i regret not a word i said to ben” and ben said “things have been said that we both regret.” like ben, babe, that’s embarrassing for you

………………..

twitter:

F1 Updates @f1updatespage • 1hr

Quick update about Y/N Albon & Ben:

Both have made posts on the situation and announced Bens leaving in ballet. We wish Ben well.

Another side note that people have picked up on, is Landos comment on Y/N’s Instagram post. The comments insinuate that they are hanging out together without the grid in Y/N’s apartment.

Comments have been disabled on this Tweet in respect for privacy of Ben!

*comments have been disabled*

………………….

(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)

[shorthairchris]

Things that give me the ick when I’m reading smuts about the triplets ✨

“Me and Matt have been dating for the past few months and we’ve never done anything other than kissing.” Be so for real. Why? Are y’all babies? You know these are grown men right?

When they make one of them an asshole. Like I get the whole enemies to lovers trope but you really expect me to believe that Chris hates y/n for no reason? Or cheated on her countless times? He’s the most loving caring person in the world wdym

When Matt/Chris are suddenly completely different people??? “My corporate boss Matt Sturniolo” “My architecture professor Mr. Sturniolo” who??? I can’t take this seriously sorry

When the aftercare turns into a whole ass ROUTINE babe we’ve been fucking for the past 3 hours we’re going to sleep!!! I don’t need Matt to run me a hot bath and rub my feet 😭 just give me a baby wipe and I’m good

This might be an unpopular opinion but I don’t like when things are too perfect. “You are Chris’ dream girl, you live with his brothers in a big house and you’re all best friends, his family LOVES you, he spoils you with gifts, the fans are obsessed with you” This isn’t a Disney movie and I’m not 8 years old chill.

Honestly I get that it’s a classic but I can’t stand the y/n thing. Like why are we using my name? There’s no need for that just call me baby or something idc (also I have a middle eastern name and it sounds ridiculous in English I can’t do that shit)

When the reader is a bitch and always has an attitude. I don’t even like myself why would Chris like me?

When they try to make Chris sound like he’s from the hood 💀 just cuz he likes rap music doesn’t mean he’s any less white

When we’ve been BEST friends for our whole lives and suddenly when we hook up you call me a cumslut???? There’s no way you’re comfortable with that please 😭

* please note that this is all jokes, the writers here are crazy talented and I love y’all :)

[co-reborn]

Exclusive

Nayeon x Male Reader

view in AFF

2,350 Words

A/N: Let's go! First fic of the year. This is a collaboration with @sinswithpleasure that has been stewing for a long time.

A/N2: Huge thanks to @passingnotions for helping look through the fic and giving some feedback.

A/N3: This convo

Me @12:50: I'm slowly making Exclusive a fic wdym sins @12:51: Exclusive is nayeon? Me @12:51: Yes ofc sins @12:52: pui sins @12:52: shes not

Exclusivity. 

What a joke. You’ve never thought highly of it but you know this girl does. Well, did, actually.

First, with her boyfriend, the supposed love of her life. That was until she met you. The pure, loving girlfriend succumbed to you and realised her mistake of waiting till marriage, henceforth becoming your exclusive cheating slut. 

That was until ten minutes ago. 

When you pulled Nayeon into the corner room, you didn’t expect to be interrupted. However, after the man caught sight of her, naked as the day she was born, straddling and making out with you, he wanted in. It was the perfect opportunity to push her slutty instincts further. 

“Go on, slut. Fuck him just like you enjoy fucking Daddy.”

No matter how hesitant Nayeon seemed, a rough kiss, a grope of her breast and a bulge pressing against her stomach later, she’s thoroughly convinced and she finds herself riding his cock. She doesn’t know his name, just that there’s another cock to fuck, to stretch her pussy, to fill her with cum.

Nayeon is in another world, seeking sinful pleasure and going against her beliefs of being an exclusive and loyal girlfriend. You brought her into this world, into your world, for you to indulge in, just as she’s savouring the feeling of getting fucked by another stranger. She’s stuck inside but by the look of things—it’s not like she wants to leave.

“Fuck, Daddy! I’m so full. Feels so—mmph!” The man interrupts her by pulling her in for a kiss, his tongue meeting hers eagerly. He grips hard on her waist and bounces her even harder onto his lap, a welcome gesture that causes the girl to hold onto his shoulders and match his strength. 

You’re not one to miss out on the fun either. You take a few steps closer to the two until your cock presses onto Nayeon’s back before you slap her ass. She breaks the kiss to cry out loud and looks over her shoulder at you, eyes tearing, not from the pain but from the sheer pleasure she’s experiencing. They’re sending a message to you—‘More, Daddy. Keep spanking your slut.’

Of course you oblige. You would have continued even if she begged you to stop. But you know her. You know Im Nayeon inside out. She would never beg you to stop, only beg for you to give her even more, especially when she melts into the pleasure. Mouth gaped open, she moans out loud without a care for whoever passes by the room. Even when her orgasm hits her, her hips don’t stop moving. In fact, she thrives from it and rides the man faster. Her cum coats the man’s cock and makes a mess of their bodies and the bed underneath. 

“Daddy, Daddy, fuck me, fuck my ass! I want all my holes filled!”

“One cock isn’t enough for you, slut, is that right?” 

She shakes her head, “I need yours too, I… I need more cocks. Please, Daddy.”

You spit on your tip repeatedly before pressing yourself against the puckered hole. Nayeon freezes in place when you slowly begin to enter her ass. It's been a while since you've taken her like this, having always preferred to fill her pussy with your potent cum. Holding onto her waist, you push yourself into her. She’s gasping with each inch entering her body and it blossoms into a loud moan when you’re hilt deep inside.

Nayeon is shaking, tears streaking down her cheeks, yet she's still wanting more. She holds onto the man's shoulders and shifts back and forth to adjust to the extreme feeling of being filled with two cocks. Her delectable body reacts immediately with her holes tightening around you both. You slide yourself out of her ass and immediately, all you hear from the girl are unhinged cries, "No, no, no! Put it back! Fill me. Fuck me, keep fucking me." 

At her request, the action resumes. You start to properly fuck her and the man humps upwards as best he can. He leans into her chest and sucks on her nipples, Nayeon hugging his head close to keep him there. Her body starts to move to your rhythms as she eagerly bounces on the two cocks. It's her first time being double penetrated and she's taking it like a pro. 

If she remained exclusive with you, she would have never discovered how much she enjoys taking two cocks at the same time.

If she remained exclusive with her boyfriend, she would have never discovered how much of a slut she can be.

You’ve broken Nayeon over and over and you’re breaking her again. You’re sure of it. Her body repeatedly clenches around you, the stream of moans only pauses for her to catch her breath. Stray strands of hair stick to her sweaty forehead and the tears that flow down her cheeks ruin her makeup. Her image is completely gone but that’s not on her mind now. There’s nothing in her head other than the cock in her cunt, the cock in her ass, and how fucking good it all feels.

“Cum slut,” the man breaks his silence, “cum all over me again, and I’ll cum deep inside you.”

It’s like the word ‘cum’ reignites a flame with Nayeon. She’s slamming herself down hard and grinding her hips as if to push the cocks even deeper inside of her. Rambling non-stop, begging, “Please, please, please! Just fill my holes, I need it, need cum in me—cum. Gonna cum. Cumming, I’m cumming!”

You watch Nayeon crumble and explode as her squirt makes an even larger mess than before. It’s a sight you always love to see: watching her fall and succumb to erotic, sinful pleasure. She’s cursing and crying before becoming incoherent, but even though her words aren’t forming, she’s shooting daggers at the man under her, pleading for him to give her what she wants, what they both want.

With a loud groan, he lets himself loose. Warmth from his hot potent seed fills Nayeon’s pussy and she sighs; her body slows down as she takes it all in. While the other two wind down from their orgasms, you keep the pace up in search of your own. You press a palm onto Nayeon to push both her and the man under her onto the bed, and you take advantage of the position to go faster and harder. Why should you care if you're being too rough on the girl? You're just using her for what she is—a plaything, a slut, a cum dumpster. It's not like she doesn't like it this way, when she's reduced to nothing but a tight hole for you to derive pleasure from. 

Nayeon makes out with the man while her ass is being ploughed by you. You hear her moans mix into the rough kiss, see her scalp being grabbed. You’re enjoying the sight. Your creation of this slut being stretched beyond her self-imposed limits time and time again. As if she knows your eyes are on her, she turns to face you while her neck is being planted with light bite marks. 

"Daddy, Daddy please," she calls out for you, her dirty lover, in her sweetest voice, "are you going to cum soon? Fill this slut's ass with your cum, Daddy. I know you want to ruin your slut as much as you can."

Your thrusts speed up and you’re rapidly slamming your hips against her butt. Nayeon’s body rocks back and forth to meet yours and she bites her lips before continuing her sick melody.

“Your cock’s the best, Daddy. You’re the best. Dump your load in this greedy, cheating slut. Cum, Daddy, cum.”

She’s practically begging so you stop holding back. You can barely keep it up any longer, and a handful of thrusts later, you shoot your load in Nayeon’s ass as she asked for. 

Your body continues to work on autopilot and buries your cum deeper into her hole while you’re still savouring the intense orgasm. Nayeon moans from the last few thrusts and when you finally soften and slip out of her body, a small white stream immediately flows out and stains her reddened skin—one that is quickly plugged by her very own two fingers. When she gets off the man's lap, you catch a glimpse of another stream of white, this time from her pussy, and she stops it with her other hand. 

Kneeling on the bed before you with her legs spread, she looks up at you, tongue sticking out to inform you that she’s still hungry. Plastered on her face is a wicked smile as she brings both hands to her mouth and she licks the cum clean. 

“Thank you Daddy.” She kisses your chest. “Although, I still have one more hole that needs to be fucked.”

She bends lower to kiss your cock and you gently stroke her hair, but a split second later, you're gripping her scalp and pushing yourself into her mouth. “So what you’re saying is that you need a third cock?”

A muffled moan is all you hear from the girl. You're fucking her face with the same intensity as when you were fucking her ass, dead set on making an even bigger mess of her makeup, while Nayeon is lost in her thoughts, her fantasies now including a fourth person with her.

~~~~~~

Nayeon’s heart pounds to the beat of the music that’s blasting across the whole house. She’s still throbbing under her dress and cum continues to ruin her panties while she finds her boyfriend in the crowd. 

“Sorry babe, I saw some old friends and I started talking to them and I lost track of time and—”

“It’s fine, baby. I was having fun with my friends too. Whatever makes you happy.” He kisses her forehead and smiles. “Let me go grab you a drink.”

Just like that, she’s alone again, dancing to the music, waiting. That only lasts for a moment. She catches sight of the man, her third partner, and was it not for the loud bass, the people around her would have heard her moan. He’s with his friends and they all turn to look at her with a devilish smile. Some of them approach her after, and they greet her with a simple whisper, “Slut.” 

Nayeon moans.

The next moment, hands skirt up her thighs. She does nothing except remain still, feeling afraid, confused, turned on. These hands brush over her cum-stained panties, and next thing she knows, fingers are pressing against her freshly fucked holes through the ruined fabric. It doesn’t take long before a bold hand slides right under the waistband to touch her directly while her new partners surround her to hide their actions. These new men take what they want from her—hands are all over her body, palming her breasts, yanking her hair, squeezing her ass, rubbing her thighs. Nayeon bites back a moan when she feels two distinctly different men pleasure her—one man rubs her clit, the other shoves his fingers into her cum-filled pussy. 

“Oh, fuck, so good—” are the only words Nayeon can come up with. Under the loud music and surrounded by her current partners, no one else hears her moan. She feels her legs grow weak as cum and slick drip out of her hole, and the men around her hold her up as they have their way with her.  

“You’re such a whore, you cheating slut.” One of the men touching her voices what the entire group thinks, and the men around her laugh. “I wonder what your wonderful little baby boy would think when he sees this.”

“Wait—! I…where’s my boyf—?!” Nayeon panics. He can’t see her like this!

“Over there, slut, but not like you really care, do you?” The wall of flesh around her parts slightly, and Nayeon scans the room in a rush. Her eyes dart from person to person, and they land on the sight she wishes to see—her boyfriend distracted by someone, and on a second, closer look, she’s locking eyes with you. You flash her a sick smile before you mouth the same dirty word that set her off earlier.

“Cum.” 

Just like earlier, the one command breaks her. Her eyes quiver, the pressure quickly hitting its breaking point. Under the lustful touch of men she doesn’t know, Nayeon reaches an explosive high—a high-pitched whine is all she can manage as her orgasm tears through her. The men around her gasp in shock and awe—Nayeon ruins her underwear for all of her partners to watch, and feast on the sight they do, lustful eyes taking in every detail. The girl in their hands nearly collapses as she squirts through her panties, her juices spraying through the cloth and running down her bare legs. The puddle beneath her only grows—none of the men stop fingerfucking her, hell bent on extending the pleasure she enjoys. The whore in their hands doesn’t bother hiding her moans anymore—the pleasure clouds her judgement, and she lets herself go as more and more streams of squirt flow down her legs to the puddle beneath her. 

“Please, more, please, I—!” 

Nayeon’s broken—she’s begging these unknown men for more pleasure, and she nearly cries when they reject her. 

“No can do, baby. Your boyfriend’s waiting.” The men around her laugh at her despair as they begin to leave the scene of their crime, but one of them stays just for a second more to slap her pussy over her ruined, drenched underwear, with a parting remark. 

“See you next time, slut. Next time, you’ll be pleasing us.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

When Nayeon’s boyfriend comes back to her, she hurriedly pulls the skirt of her dress back down to hide the evidence. She thanks whoever decided on the dimmer lighting of the party venue—her boyfriend notices nothing about the pool of cum beneath her feet.

“Hey baby, I’m back. Here’s your…” 

As her boyfriend speaks, Nayeon finds herself tuning him out in favour of her thoughts.

‘Next time, you’ll be pleasing us.’

Nayeon can’t wait.

[k0yaz]

MAAM CMERE SIT DOWN LISTEN

Arlecchino x Harbinger fem reader and they have the type of relationship where they’re always “bickering” but it’s just Arlecchino telling reader to stfu and reader replying with smth SUPER suggestive and out of pocket headcanons 🗣️

Please and thank you 💕

arlecchino with an out of pocket girlfriend hcs

Pairings: arlecchino x fem!reader

CW: sfw, female reader, slightly suggestive, VERY short, I spent way too long at the fucking car dealership pls cut me some slack, I’m tired today, I love fellow arle fans but literally why are yall like the size of 5 nations omg, my spotify shuffle is so stupid I hate it, like wdym u keep playing the same song over and over.

A/N: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND READER IS LITERALLY ME BRO also I lied but I’m too lazy to spill oneshots today so this was the only hc fic I had and I decided to be lazy on it 🕯️

OH MY GOD SOMEONE SAVE ARLECCHINO

As much as this woman loves you, she always cringes so hard at your flirty remarks. Like you swear she PHYSICALLY recoils from you.

It’s ok though you’re the only woman she’d tolerate this shit from

Both of you would have a disagreement here and there, but doesn’t take long for that to turn into full blown back and forth bickering the second you to open your mouth.

Arlecchino asks you to stop in an embarrassed voice as she covers her forehead. She was totally hiding that she’s lowkey flustered.

BRO HER CHILDREN MAKE FUN OF HER SO MUCH IF THEY WALK IN ON THIS

Like you’d be there giving Arlecchino that smirk as you say something that’s so unhinged, and most likely Lyney would walk in to his father looking away with her face slightly red.

Then he tells everyone and ends up getting his ass whooped by Arlecchino-

OH MY GOD ITS SO MUCH WORSE IN FRONT OF THE OTHER HARBINGERS

You tease her so much in public and at harbinger meetings that everyone just stares at you two like a deer in headlights.

You maybe considered doing it in front of the Tsaritsa…but you did have to maintain your respect for her so you ultimately didn’t do it.

Doesn’t mean you don’t want to though.

Pretty much your convos would go something like..

“(Name), with all due respect, please shut your mouth.” “Maybe just gag me with your fingers or an actual ball gag to shut me up instead!” “What the fuck.”

IM CRYING THAT WAS FUNNY TO WRITE

Anyway all in all as much of a pain in the ass as you are, she still loves you :3

…and maybe sometimes she takes your remarks too seriously and yall get 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂.

A/N: I genuinely apologize for making this so short once again I feel super drained today and plus I had no ideas for this my brain juice is dry 💔

[myunghology]

[ ✦ ] . . . GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY. riddle rosehearts x reader smau.

profiles. RIZZLERS (impolite) : meepcity edaters : m.list

[NAME] 'my kink is when people say im right' BAUDELAiRE. surprisingly the voice of reason when she's the main character? always goes against the friend groups ideas. loves debating and proving people wrong.. who doesn't love proving people wrong tho

ACE 'ball-grabber 🏀' TRAPPOLA. stupidest fucker ever emotionally. smartest physically when beating up his friends ong.. "[name] can i borrow notes from your first year". real talks everyone with no shame at all

EPEL 'bro ill tickle your pickle' FELMiER. here comes the alpha the sigma the skibidi toilet. (he's 5'1 and suffering). protects his friends with his life and is not afraid to kick ass🔥🥶

FLOYD 'he looks like a homo habilis' LEECH. real talker number 2, over protective when it comes to [name]. he totally doesn't try to crush her limbs whenever he sees her wdym.. ends up bullying her in the end before she loses it

LiLiA 'r u on opium?' VANROUGE. half of the friend group is convinced he's high most of the time. OLDIE LMFAOOO GET OUT why is your ashy ass still in high school bruh. passive aggressive when protective (REAL)

TAGLIST, opened! send in an ask to be added because i won't be accepting comments. if your name isn't highlighted, it means i cannot tag you. please notify me if you've change your user. 🏷

[anzulvr]

Hello how are you doing today. May I request a E class x reader who runs a gossip page on their class and even the teacher and just likes to start chaos. And know one suspect it them (🤫)

End class x Reader w a Gossip page // small karma-reader moment but can be seen as platonic too.

This account has to be private because the main campus are ruthless, so you do that and follow only class 3E.

Then when everyone starts talking about it Korosensei feels left out and desperately wants to be follow-accepted by the account, he made an Instagram just for it.

His username would be something like @user73637287363828 cause he doesn’t know how to work the app. (Irina teaches him after a while)

They all reply to your posts in the stupidest ways, half of the time they’re beefing in the replies.

@Maehara_Hiroto: My ass looks flat in that angle

@410Ryoma: (reply to Maehara_Hiroto) it looks like that irl wdym?

@Maehara_Hiroto: fuck you.

Your posts vary from:

“Rio has a crush on someone in class 🤫”

to “Korosensei caught following Kayano and Nagisa home.”

YOU POST ABOUT YOURSELF TO NOT MAKE IT OBVIOUS TOO

“[Name] can’t stop watching Josh Hutcherson edits.”

You reply on your main account to again lower suspicion

@[your user] Neither can the rest of the world.

@n9kamura.rio: (reply to you) same honestly

@user73637287363828 (aka Koro): [Name] please focus on your class work, this morning you mistakenly wrote his name on your math work, this Josh Hutcherson man can wait.

@[your user] No he can’t.

@akabane_karma: (reply to you) but I can? I’ve been on delivered for 2 hours start typing.

At first they think it has to be a stalker, they go full seek mode

You won’t admit it because you cannot let Terasaka know you’re the one who posted the picture of him petting a stray cat.

Eventually they give up the stalker theory and start suspecting eachother.

“Alright who posted the picture of me getting my arm stuck in the vending machine??” Maehara is actually the biggest victim because he’s always doing stupid shit.

“Now that I think about it… Isogai you were the last person with me!”

“You know my phone was dead right? I told you- ‘hey I have to charge my phone’ and I turn around to see your hand jammed in the machine over a bag of Doritos.”

“…it was hot fries actually.”

You come clean at the end of the year but they got attached to the account and force you to continue :)

[hauntingblue]

Rong ring rong raingo time

Zoro making that speech reminds me of ace and how he treated luffy at the start, maybe not because of the same reasons but zoro is calming chopper down bc he KNOWS luffy and the others (and him) would not let him be taken without trying everything they could... there is ko use for crying and zoro is repressed but of course he would not say he cares but he does so of course he tells him to shut up bc he can't handle how chopper makes him feel... Also Foxy taking chopper for being cute and not because he is a doctor and that if they first wanted chopper to join bc he was a doctor he ended up joining bc they really became friends....

Legendary find

Look at these losers... zoro's hair is blending with the grass akdbakjka

Lettuce and cheese... the Burger Brothers

Robin supports nami's wrongs ✊🏻

Chopper being cute again

He is so slow ❤️

Seeing robin become a luffy enabler in real time is such a joy

HE IS THE MAN!!! Robin seeing luffy say that and believing it because she thinks she is expendable.... look how surprised she is... I think it's not just because she's surprised luffy got up but bc she realizes he is including her in his fight... he is also doing this for her