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"not all men" but not in a men's rights way, in a "it's important to remember that men aren't the only perpetrators of cruelty, abuse, and evil and that subconsciously or consciously training yourself to view men as inherently evil and everyone else as inherently safe inadvertently puts you in a position where you're both vulnerable to attack or harm from people you otherwise wouldn't suspect, AND causes you to limit the number of allies you might have in a time of need" kind of way.
#This is why I worry a lot about young women (teens and twenties) who seek comfort and validation in r//adf//em circles. Many of them have#been hurt through rape or abuse—commonly at the hands of fathers/brothers/uncles or otherwise trusted adults—and have decided that men must#be cruel because both they and their female/female + queer friends have similar stories of abuse. So they seek out others who share this#belief but in doing so they make themselves vulnerable to further abuse and manipulation. I haven't really observed r//adf//em circles long#enough to be able to say what I'm about to say with certainty but I would put money on the idea that being a RF on social media shares the#same hallmarks as being in a cult because the behavior of the adherents is far too similar than that of tradwives or any other modern cult.#Other RF's use the hurt and abuse these young women have experienced and twist and manipulate their truth to foster a sense of#us-against-them cruelty against a population that could in actuality be their fiercest allies. It's such a vicious and relentless cycle.#That's why when I see RF's on here all I feel is pity — both for the cruelty and abuse they've witnessed and suffered but ALSO for the way#they've allowed that abuse to be weaponized against them... many before they were too young to realize it was even happening. We as a#society have got to get better at protecting our young girls and women from r//adf//em ideology. I don't even mean that in a#“destroy the patriarchy” kind of way because that's such a lofty and disorganized goal. I mean it in a “we have to go into uncomfortable#spaces and show these girls love and empathy because right now the only people validating them are people who use their hate and mistrust#against them and if we want to save our young girls and Queer sisters from this pipeline we have to do the dirty work“ kind of way.#But anyway.#jack.txt
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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It is quite something to spend time and effort on creating something, uploading it, getting like 10 notes / likes / interactions, whatever the hell you wanna call it
And then some fucker steals said thing, cuts off your @, reuploads it as theirs and boom, 26 000 notes / likes / upvotes whatever. INTERACTION.
Let me tell you, even though I see people getting mad at creators for calling this out (while not getting mad at the fuckers who steal shit of course), people who create anything, be it art, memes, VP, videos whatever, do it because of the interactions and the reactions of people who consume it. We do it to see how people like it, to see if we brought any joy. If you steal something and are on top of that an additional asshole and remove the watermarks of it then reupload it as yours, you quite literally take away the small joy of the creator that would have been reading the comments on their post from people who enjoy it.
#also there is something to be said about people not reblogging shit anymore either. only liking#there is way more joy in seeing someone reblogging your creation and then chattering away in the tags of your post. to see their reaction.#that is what tumblr was originally about#it motivates you to keep creating#which is the only motivation since there is no monetary motivation in creating this type of content#truly sad what social media has become#and even sadder that theft is normalized#& there's something to be said about 'lore youtube' plagiarizing off of tumblr then making money off of it but that's a whole other topic
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i would love to do a really long essay about food conspiracies and fatphobia
#the conspiracies are so easy to arrive at because those engaging in the conspiracy don't accept that the burden of proof is on them#see that one tiktok where someone was like 'i was told i was gluten intolerant in the usa and when i got to europe and tried bread there...#... my 'gluten intolerance' disappeared 🙄 because of pesticides and chemicals in the usa'#when the answer is just that europe has different wheat#ultimately this is pretty innocuous but the 'they're trying to make us fat I Mean Unhealthy' narrative#is so fucking rampant and just serves to give social media users righteous anger against something that isn't a real problem.#while at the same time the us government and corporations are actually doing way worse shit?#we're getting concrete evidence of the extreme price gouging that chains have been engaging in for the past 4 or 5 years#but user1294042569 is pissed because there's gmos in lunchables#same narrative as 'ooohgsbfghh usa portion sizes are so BIG' yes because of the great depression.#like literally its just that more food for less money is seen as more desirable especially when money is tight#and it became seen as a distinctly usamerican thing as the usa was building its own image and trying to prosper after the great depression#finally every one of these narratives has an undercurrent of 'this is why people are sooo fat'#usually from people who don't know what the main cause of fatness is (fucking genetics)#and actively fear fatness because of. idk theres a multi billion dollar diet industry that i remember seeing ads for in kindergarten#please let me make this video essay aughhhh#< i dont need permission i just need motivation which is not happening any time ever
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that damn web comic is rattling around in my brain ...
#i just felt smacked in the face with a mirror reality something i could see not only myself but so many other people i know/have known in#with a frighteningly sharp precision#some of the people in whn look IDENTICAL to real life friends or exes or people i knew in high school or coworkers#i sent it to my friend and he said 'i feel like this HAPPENED to someone i know'#i keep thinking about that awful feedback loop of mental illness isolation and social media addiction#but its so much more complicated than 'touch grass' like you could shoot all these peoples phones#and theyd just turn to something equally toxic and retraumatizing and self-flagellating#they already show this because they have ed's and self harm and abuse substances and spend money they dont have#the chronic online-ness is a symptom not the disease#the thing that makes me a little sick is how much i relate to milo refusing to delete his tumblr even after everything#i have had instances in my life where posting on tumblr was actively making my life worse or harder or getting in the way of real shit#and i still use it as a crutch in the worst of times#its just funny cuz its this thing that saves you from riskier vices while still obviously perpetuating those things#because its a place that reflects You so heavily#you reblog sad shit cause youre sad and it makes you sadder#you wanna self harm you see people post their cutting pics now you feel like its not so weird or bad#its making me ask questions like 'am i stunted' 'what does it mean to be stunted' and then of course#when is someone 'acting like a victim' and just A Victim and can you do both and what does that mean#man....
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Oh also when I start dropping the Red White and Royal Blue book quotes expect a FLOOD I'm highlighting the fuck out of this book
#red white and royal blue#lb#okay so 1. its well written. sincerely.#2 it knows the GOAL of its story so in its own way its Plenty deep#in regard to a. romance. b believable lived in characters c hinted emotion and biased pov narration#d political commentary social commentary international commentary generational commentary family trauma commentary#e excellent at what seems to be its theme which is showing how to connect to people you see as different#and like. the way that ties into the core romance and ties into the leads individual family trauma and fharacter arcs#and the way f OUTSIDE the novel how that affects the reader#the novel expects all readers to connect to this democrat politicial loudmouth half mexican texan child of divorce#whos stubborn as hell and somewhat self centered and so Mean to a guy he barely actually knows (when novel starts)#and thrn of course Alex is asked by his life to Connect to Henry. and the readers even if they are a TON like alex#still will also find connecting to Henry a leap (after all most of us simply are NOT royalty and know no one who is#even if we know public social media figures. its not to rhe degree of the Fantastical levrl of Prince Henry#and i think partly the character is a prince rather than Old Money generally because it TAKES the point further#it makes it so unrelatable to nearly all readers. so it asks us and alex to be open and get to know someone we simply cant judge or guess#ok anyway my point 3. i fucking HATE writing advice and heres why#different authors who are GREAT tackle the challenge of writing wrll very different. theres somr advice to#avoid writing thought felt wonders etc type words. this novel does it. and i feel does it well#it keeps the pace snappy in a DENSE book that needs it. it helps create the biased unreliable pov narration of alex#by telljng us not what he Actually thought but what hes PRETENDING TO HIMSELF to acknowledge or not.#which is alsl how i use those words. and its a fun time when the character is lying to themselves and readers have to notice#and get to be in on it
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Me: I am a totally reasonable person capable of accepting that some people won’t enjoy my favorite media and not freak out over that.
Someone: (expresses even a mildly negative opinion about Psychonauts)
Me: I am no longer reasonable, I am ready to murder.
#i have to admit I have an extremely parasocial relationship with psychonauts#because my dad is/was personal friends with Ron Gilbert and Tim Schafer#(wrt tim less so but still)#so I feel like I have a moral obligation to stan all their works#and objectively yes criticism isn’t the end of the world#but any time someone makes like a subjective value judgement like#”oh this sucks so bad they were so stupid for doing this”#I want to smash someone’s kneecaps#excuse me those are my dad’s friends and you are being mean to them!#objectively it’s not like they read mean comments about them on social media#but frankly on principle I think calling developers stupid for not agreeing with your subjective tastes#is extremely shitty of someone to do#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#One part of why I think I feel this way also has to do with the fact I was following the development of the game since it was announced#and if you aren’t aware#microsoft fairly late into the game’s development gave Doublefine a huge amount of money towards development#and the creators have made statements that prior to that they legit weren’t even going to have boss battles#because they had to cut them out as a result of the budget issues#so I feel like basically any criticism of the second game for being rushed or underdeveloped or even like anything#NEEDS to keep that in mind and factor it into their critique#treating flaws of a game as deliberate failures on the part of developers is my berserkbutton#my Posts
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imagining the peace and creativity even a five year break from remakes and reboots would bring
#i’m too old and cynical to get excited about things i would’ve been bc everything is just such blatant money grabbing#no one is remaking stuff a handful of years after it came out based on love of the story. greed! laziness!#something about a general trend of terror of taking risks atm like authors desperately trying to establish social media bases in advance etc#(criticism of publishers not authors)#only doing things if they’re certain to make millions is a horrible way to conduct art
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#I’m sure no one wants to read depressive thoughts from a stranger rn#so I’ll just say#I hope that heaven exists for all those having to suffer rn#bc I don’t feel there is enough happiness on earth to make up for the ugliness we’re witnessing#all across social media#and there’s no way to truly help#unless you have a huge cushion of money and security to fall back on
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I might start posting some old photos I have taken. Well Deviantart was kind of bust and well I think I have better idea for them and something I've thought about selling them (which I kinda was on Deviantart, but that shit got not interest)
Idk... I'm just trying to find ways to get money while doing things I love, and it is hard. (also trying to spark myself back into doing photography again)
#It's something I wanted to do but kept putting it off#I have no idea if there's a market for it here but It's pretty much my only social media I fully use now in days#tbh I'm not making any money rn and the dread of not doing so art graduating is really getting to me but my mental illness is getting in -#the way of doing anything other than being stuck in a house that I don't like.#rich.txt
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Reblog if you don't think likes are worthless, but also don't want them to become the main form of interaction here, thus causing tumblr to lose it's communal nature and turn into a lonely capitalistic nightmare like instagram where creators are treated like content farms held separate from the audience and the only interaction between the two is a quick and sterile "❤️" before scrolling on to consume the next thing
#tumblr is like a communal archive#where people create things and people pass those things around and they're enjoyed for years- inspiring others along the way#that's what makes it special and we don't want that to die#other social medias have conditioned a behavior of liking over sharing#because if content dies after a day or two then creators are pressured to pump out more and more#rather than the creation being shared around and appreciated for longer#because more content means the site makes more money#tumblr#tumblr culture#instagram#reblog stuff#insta
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suggestion for improving tumblr
tl;dr: allow users to add “tags” to their blog as a whole, then make those searchable, so it’s easier to find people to follow who post/reblog about what you’re interested in
so, tumblr corporate wants to get new users/get occasional tumblr users to make an account and use it. as far as im concerned, that’s fine, as long as they don’t wreck the things existing tumblr users like about tumblr.
because all other social media is algorithmic garbage, it seems like a lot of new users join, don’t understand that they have to find people to follow themselves and/or don’t know where to start looking for people to follow, so they leave.
this is my proposed solution to that. basically, as well as having a url, icon, header image, etc, users can also add “tags” to their blog, describing what they post about. adding tags would be completely optional, and what they contain would be entirely written by blog owners with no algorithms involved.
either include in current search or make a new search for just this (and also just like. have a functional search lol). for new users have a thing pointing out that this exists and they should use it to find people to follow
this would also be useful for older users in that like. when i get into a new fandom i want to follow people who post about it frequently, but current search only shows me original posts about it - i also want to follow people who reblog a lot even if they don’t make original content
potential issues/solutions:
scammers and spammers: make it so u can’t add “tags” to ur blog until it reaches a certain age, or has a certain number of posts, or something, so they cant just create 100000 blogs at once and “tag” them all
people “tag” literally anything theyve ever been interested in even if they never really post about it: limit it to like, 5 “tags” total. possibly still some issues with people who forget to update theirs over time but id prefer that to algorithmic bullshit
people deliberately tagging themselves to trick others into following them for malicious reasons (eg someone who posts racist shit tags themselves as BLM or something bc they wanna hurt people): bannable offense. also tumblr fix moderation pls
#tumblr#social media#tumblr staff#basically what i want is like. i want tumblr to be user friendly#and decisions about how ur blog works controlled by users#but also i do understand that a) tumblrs gotta make money somehow and b) theres a whole generation whove only ever used#algorithmic shit#so like. i wanna think of ways tumblr can do better without pissing off everyone who's currently here
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elon musk found out abt weheartit fucking its app over effectively making it unusable and he needed to do the same
#i’m sorry but money is NOT everything#users are the reason u have an app to begin w#so if ur making things that are literally free and really have no incentive like a job app site#ur basically asking to go bankrupt and have ur app shut down bc it’s impossible to use#now if this was some sort of manual optional way of reducing social media use i could understand but it isn’t#twitter
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Here we go week of shoots!
The week ahead will be a good taste of life in the industry post graduation.
Day 1, we’re shooting an action sequence project for school. We’ve set our call time for 8am on location with the hope to wrap by 2 or 3pm and save us all from trying to fight with the light. I’ll be part of the direction/DP/continuity team for this half of the sequence.
Day 2, half the team is gathering to rehearse the fight scenes for the second part of the sequence. The forecast is calling for rain, so we’ll be in holding on a final decision for location of our shoot on day 3 until the evening.
Day 3, we’ll be shooting the second half of the action sequence. Thankfully, I get to step back a bit on responsibilities for this section as the other half of our team will be taking on the high stress roles while my partner and I function as their crew. Hoping we’ll wrap earlier in the day for this one, too, but I don’t think they’ve finalized their call time yet. (I must remember to read the script for the next project before bed on this day!)
Day 4, I begin night shoots on a short film! I’m tasked with picking up some actors and crew to drive to location for a 4pm call time, so I’ll have to disrupt my sleep schedule a bit to be able to function through this one. I’ll be a PA (production assistant) for a crew I’ve not worked with before, but who are doing some pretty cool things. I’m excited! Hoping we’ll wrap before 4am so I can get some sleep in between, but not holding my breath. Public transit likely won’t be running by the time we wrap, so my driving responsibilities will include dropping everyone in my car at their homes.
Day 5, will be the second day of night shooting, this time in a different city at a secondary location. Again, pickups. Again, drop offs. Again, hoping for a decent wrap time.
Day 6, all I’m presuming I will want to do is sleep. Which is great, because I’ve got to be back in class at 8am on Monday morning.
Prepared to run on a weeks worth of adrenaline, lack of sleep, and catered food. And the reminder to myself that this really is what I want to do, in some capacity.
#film and television production life#decided this week that the best way forward to combine the things I love and excel at and make#decent money is to train for script supervision once I finish school#so I keep trying that out on projects#an industry guest in class last week saw me doing my meticulous notes and told me#I’d make a really good scripty#which made me so happy soooooo 🤞🏻#weeks like this also lead to falling terribly behind on social media and with my duolingo streak#personal#as long as none of these days are 16 hours long I’ll be content#looking at you previous industry shoot….#not sure anyone actually cares about my production life stories but I like documenting
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#i just like‚ don’t want to do anythin anmore lol#im so tired and have no sense of time i never know what day it is or what time it is i feel so lost#maybe i’ll just rot away in my room#i need to cry but the tears never come i always cry when i dont want to#let me fucking cry argrhrhggg#rotting away in my room forever probably gonna spiral but its fine i whatever i have water so peace and love i guess#im just so deeply sad and i’ve been just unhealthily scrolling on social media i need to stop instagram is so stupid for making reels#never going on instagram reels actually just say no#ugh im literally so sad and dont want to do anything i keep seeing nature and its just so beautiful and i think about a life i could have#i think and think about it and want to cry because it’s the most ideal life i could ever hope for but its just a silly fantasy#i know i’ll never actually have a life i want#i just want to live in a cottage and paint and be good at it and go for morning walks when the sun rises and afternoon walks when its rains#and pick flowers and go home and make soup and have a nice room to get all comfy and why am i even saying this lol#with the way the worlds turning out with everything unfortunately revolving around money i’ll never have an ideal life#it just feels like my whole life is just crumbling down around me#anyways im like totally fine by the way im literally so silly all of the time
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(sweater anon)
HURRAY for the return of the comic! freddy's got alot of therapist work ahead of him, hopefully he can get them to hug it out.
silly question but when will the AU dump's ask box re-open?
YES! And, yep, he definitely does XD
As for the ask-box for au dumps, cant say for sure honestly, i haven't had much time to focus on anything other then my comic, outside of school
And on my, now rare, free time I'm just ya know...playing games,,
#if I'm completely honest#it might be a long while till i get it back up#there's some stuff i wanna work on that isn't fnaf related#need to find a way to make money and need to work on my art#the au dumps ate the last thing on my mind rn and I'm so sorry#but if yall are ok with me not giving commentary then i think I might be able to bring ut back up#or well not not have commentary but only brief ones#just to get the story out while i myself work on other stuff behind the scenes#but generally I've been focusing to be less on social media and enjoy myself during my free time#my focus isn't fnaf anymore unfortunately only thing keeping me going is my own comic#you might have noticed the surge of splatoon stuff on my page😅#cakes asks#ask box#sweater anon
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