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frecklystars · 4 months ago

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I’m in the hospital but I’m gonna be ok + I’ll be going home in a couple of hours. I’m sorry if I worried anyone. I have had the worst year and a half of my life and it is very obvious I am not handling it well

I put a lot of pressure on myself to try to enjoy today specifically because I think I unconsciously told myself that if I couldn’t enjoy today, I could not possibly enjoy any day; if I cannot feel good with these f/os who mean so much to me, then that must mean I can’t feel good with any f/os, that it is proof I am incapable of healing unless if I am able to feel good self shipping and celebrating an f/o anniversary today for the first time in two years.

But that wasn’t what made me spiral so badly— what drove me to make such an impulsive drastic decision that led me into being injured + at the hospital was just, my ptsd and the situation I’ve been stuck in has been so. fucking. vile. It has been extremely difficult for me to feel safe IRL, as well as with self shipping, which is awful because self shipping has always been my strongest coping mechanism for a little over twenty years. Not having self shipping feel the same for the last year and a half has been so hard, and I still haven’t found any other coping mechanism as effective (affective??) I find it difficult to feel joy anymore bc my ptsd/anxiety has been flaring up so much it has made my depression astronomically worse.

which is what today was supposed to be for, I am supposed to be celebrating the fact that I found two f/os who made me feel safe again for the first time one year ago and breathed some life back into me to help me self ship again. But i never feel 100% safe. I never really feel fully loved or like I am able to relax with any of my f/os because my trauma feels like it’s done too much damage. I grieve the special interest I lost every day, i grieve the 200+ tf f/os that I was conditioned to believe would harm me. Besides tf, I have still lost so much due to trauma. Songs, colors, certain clothes, certain phrases, certain animals, characters, there’s so many triggers. I don’t go a day without getting triggered by something and then getting angry with myself for being triggered, beating myself up for being traumatized. Then I feel utterly heartbroken that this happened to me. Then I get angry again because this all should never have happened to me. It’s like, the moment I’m triggered I start snowballing, and I cannot find the off switch. I don’t know how people are able to turn off their emotions. I can’t function.

I don’t go a day without a flashback or a nightmare reliving everything that happened to me, that is still happening to me. I am always crying over the things I’ve lost and I really don’t think I am able to go back to the person I used to be. I already was so unhappy before my trauma, which is why I was so reliant on self shipping my whole life, but now I’m like… just some scared, broken, jittery thing. I feel like just a shell of a person way too often and it’s so hard to not feel hopeless

I had today all planned out these last 2 months, I had a special breakfast made, I was planning a really good dinner, I was going to make a beach cake and heart cookies, I ordered flowers, etc. a ton of shit planned. I was going to go to the beach, go to the movies, customize my dolls. My favorite part of f/o anniversaries is looking back on my love notes and reblogging them. I had sooo much planned for Barbie and Ken for my blog. They’re so important bc they’re the only good thing I’ve been able to cling onto this whole year, yet I am doing so fucking badly and have barely felt anything for them for a few months now bc I’m so overwhelmed with reliving my trauma. I didn’t get to queue anything special for today. I should really be happy today but I’m not, and it’s really making me believe “ok well if I can’t feel any joy from these f/os then I can’t feel any joy with anyone ever again bc my ptsd is just too fucking bad.”

I haven’t slept *at all* in the last couple of days which obviously makes my emotional distress way worse. i could not for the life of me make today work. I wasted a lot of time and energy and money trying to feel something for my f/os when I am in the worst headspace. I don’t think it’s worth even postponing the anniversary celebration bc I just feel… absolutely nothing except dread and grief 24/7.

I don’t know what else to say. Physically I am injured and emotionally I am Not Okay, but I’m alive I guess. I didn’t want to go offline and say nothing whatsoever because then people would probably worry after seeing that last post. I am sorry if I worried anyone, I am obviously just. going thru it right now and idk when it’s gonna get better. I’m gonna try to get back into the habit of self shipping and watching movies with friends again, y’know like the saying fake it til you make it, maybe it’ll trick my brain into feeling better. I won’t go offline entirely but I am probably not gonna open any messages for a while, I’m sorry I know I haven’t opened any dms in over 4 months, it’s just been so hard and my energy levels are dead. But I make sure they’re unread/unopened so the notification is still there to remind me and I’ll be able to get back to ppl when I gather the strength. Um I don’t know what else to say. I love you.

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lynlyndoll · 1 year ago

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Taste

genre: -slightly- suggestive (the name of the song should be enough to realize what kind of fic this will be.), angsty (there are things that would provoke anger for reader and the pair!)

pairing(s): lee know x fem! reader, hyunjin x fem! reader, felix x fem! reader

appearances and specifications: ok, so we have each one of the guys here!! nothing bad, just please do NOT read this unless you are 18+ tbh... there may be just kissing, but it's in a suggestive way.

an: ok, God.. I had this idea for like.. around 2-3 weeks?! but didn't have the time to write it lmao (nor the guts). Anyway, since i listened to taste 20 times already (i can actually show proof for that) i said, WHY TF NOT?! so here it is!!

lee know - 0.8k wc

A party shouldn't be a big problem to you. You loved good parties. What you didn't consider about this party was that your ex was there as well. Everyone knew you and him used to be the power couple, the ones to set the barriers to sky limits in college. And everyone also knew how the most popular couple in uni broke up. It happened a few weeks ago, you came into the apartment both of you shared, full of stress. The only thing you wanted was to be next to your boyfriend. But when you came into the room, your boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. What annoyed you the most was that he came back with a wide, drunk smile at 2 am. You were sleeping on the couch, phone attached to your hand in hope that he would at least call. He tried to remain as silent as a drunk man could, but you woke up, staring at him with an annoyed figure on your face.

"Jagi-"

"No, "jagi". Not even a call, Minho? One fucking call?" You yelled at him, letting him look with wide eyes at you. "Where were you, at least...?" You massage your temples.

"At a drink with the guys.." he answered, startled. You weren't surprised. He did this almost every day. You never told him not to go, but sometimes he should consider you. You, his girlfriend, and your needs.

"Minho... I don't... I can't do this." You sighed, murmuring.

"Jagi, what do you mean?" His voice saddened and eyes on the verge of crying. He knew what you meant, but he needed you.

"Minho... you know what I mean." You sighed, getting up. "I can't stay with someone that doesn't consider me as well."

And that's how everything ended between you and him, with tears and misunderstandings. You moved in with your two other friends and everything was fine. At least, that's what you wanted to think. You always thought about Minho, about his scent and about his little jokes. About his cats and his family, which made you feel like you were already in their family. After the break up, everyone thought about both you and Minho, that the relationship was faked, since none of you looked worse then before, but which no one knew was the tears and thoughts both of you had during the night, when everything came back.

Tonight, you see him again. Drunk, with a smile on his face and girls around him, as if nothing wrong happened. You were already at the 4th drink for that night and your judgment was slowly affected. To stop acting like a jealous ex - which you were - you go more into the center of the party to dance.

Tonight he sees you again. Drunk and dancing with a random guy you just met on the dance floor. He tried to take control of his own actions, however, when he saw you and the guy you were dancing with almost kissing, he lost all his temper. He got up, got to you before you kissed the boy and dragged you out of the room, in the dark hallway of the house the party was held in.

"Minho, what the fu-" You yelled at him, interrupted by a kiss. Your eyes widen in shock as he presses your back on the wall. The kiss wasn't soft either, his tongue trying to fight for dominance with yours and you, allowing him. After some seconds that felt like minutes, he broke the kiss slightly, his breath still upon yours.

"Why did you do this, Minho...? We're not-" You try to say, still not looking directly at Minho, the only thing in your sight being his eyes.

"Because I'm addicted to you..." He murmurs in your ear, making your ears red and a crimson shade appearing on your cheeks.

"Minho, you're drunk. Your sober self probably wouldn't even want to do this. Maybe it's just the alcohol in your veins that made you kiss me."

"When I saw you with that guy, Y/N... I want you to just look at me, only me." He says, kissing you, this time softer and slower. You slightly smiled into the kiss.

"Min... I can't kiss someone that I love, without knowing if that someone would really take this seriously." You say after the kiss breaks.

"You either kiss me or hate me, Y/N. I promise to you that I'll never disregard your feelings, but the choice is yours." He says, causing both you and him to feel hundreds of different emotions. Both of you breathed against each other, until you took his head in your palms and smiled at him, locking eyes with his.

"Good. Because I would never want to hate you." You smile and kiss him, pressing him even more on your body.

hyunjin - 0.4k

Between you and hyunjin has always been an attraction. It was never spoken about though, because none of you was supposed to be seen near the other, your families being rivals.

One night, however, after too many shots of soju, he snapped at you, then you snapped at him and everything ended with both of you making out on his couch. In the morning, you were the first to wake up and be concerned of what happened, so you got up and left his apartment as fast as you could. However, with time, this happened more times, eventually wanting more than just sex, so slowly but steadily, Hyunjin and you started dating behind the backs of your families, your friends backing you up whenever it was needed. Tonight, however, you had to stop everything because of your parents.

Your parents found you a match and you had to have an arranged marriage with someone they picked. You knew that if you told the real reason to Hyunjin, he would ask you to leave with him, to forget about this life. You wanted to live and forget with him, but you had duties that had to be fulfilled, and for that purpose your family would never leave you alone. So you told him a lie. A lie that made his heart ache, which made your heart ache. However, he knew you were lying. He knew that your relationship meant everything for each one of you, he knew that arranged marriage happened in the life both you and him lived, so that should've been the motive, but he just didn't understand why you had to live this life.

"Love... " he says, taking your hand in his, his fingers linking with yours. With his other hand, he raises your chin.

"Hyunjin.." You say, your breath on his face, as he locks eyes with you. He leans in, slowly closing his eyes.

One last kiss was all he desired. But after you both narrowed the gap between you and him, he knew that without you, he can't focus on anything else. He knew he's in trouble, your heart full of lies was hurting him, but once you both started, you must be his. He knew he would do anything only to have you by his side. Forever.

felix - 0.5k

It was always the same with Felix, your best friend of 10 years. Stolen kisses in the moonlight, lies that could sweep every girl’s feet and the same sweet, but dangerous tone of voice. You don’t even know how everything happened, how from a perfect friendship, both of you wanted more and that want turned into a need, which slowly turned into a friends with benefits dynamic. No doubt that you wanted him, but you wanted him more than a friend who you fucked for interest, you wanted him as a person who you saw your future with, your partner. Tonight was, as always, the same. You and him, under the sky full of stars, and the silence that always occurred during these times. However, you had enough of his games. He never intended to make a move and if he didn’t, then it was your time to move further and stop this dynamic for good. From tonight, he either would kiss you as a lover, or he would leave you and never come back.

“Felix, I have something to ask you.” You look in his eyes, him already curious.

“Yeah, Y/Nnie?” He says, his sweet deep voice making you shiver again.

“Do I mean anything to you?” You say, your voice slightly shaking.

“Of course, love. You’re my starlight, my best friend, my-”

“Yeah, your best friend.” You look away from him with a frown.

“Y/N, what is it?”

“Oh, nothing, just my mind thinking we could be more than friends.”

“Y/N…” he says, but you cut him off.

“No, Felix. I heard enough and I agree. But I can’t continue with this.” You look at him, eyes focusing on his confused expression.

“Y/N, you don’t understand.” He grabs your wrists, switching his position on top of you. “This is the only thing you don’t get.” He smiles, making you confused.

“What…?”

“Y/N, if you think that I don’t like… No, if I don’t love you, then I’ll make you feel my love, I promise.” He says, leaning in even more, your lips brushing on each other.

“But you said… Now you’re only lying, you’re playing with my feelings.” You say, focusing on his lips, trying to stop your heart beat faster than it ever was.

“I don’t dare lie on this meaningful night, though. It’s my chance to finally make you understand how much I love you.” He says, kissing your lips with an affection and passion that you never felt from anyone, both of your senses shutting down, the only thought being the one of tasting each other as lovers.

taglist!!

@agi-ppangx @lisaaassophhhieee @hyunjin-lover20

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bahbzxxx · 1 year ago

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Before anybody gets confused…THIS IS NOT CANON IN THE SLIGHTEST.

THIS. 👏IS JUST. 👏AN EXCUSE. 👏TO SIMP FOR VENTI. 👏WHILE MAKING IT. 👏AS COMPLICATED. 👏AND DRAMATIC. 👏AND CONVOLUTED. 👏AS POSSIBLE.

In short, this is just a silly little au.

👏

I did this all in one sitting so yes thank you my grammar is atrocious

So let’s consider harbinger Venti’s situation.

Because in BarbzLANDIA, He’s canon now. Don’t @ me he moved into my silly little brain with his thousands of suitcases that he stuffs in his hat somehow and I kinda need his rent money🙄🤌💸

So consider the following:

How tf are people going to react to lord Barbatos then?

- The fatui would be petty, sis. The more mondstadt thinks they’ve been abandoned by their archon of freedom in exchange for this new wackadoodle OP harbinger, the more people will loose faith in him as their archon and not only will he lose power, but he will gain disappointment.

We Venti stans already know this poot likely Carries way more guilt and truama and depression than he lets even the traveler in on…so this is why it pleases the higher ups of the fatui and abyss to see this happen, especially since HES now the harbinger who’s ruining everything.

(Don’t you just want to spit on them and hurl sheakspearean insults at them?) (I know I would!!!!!and that’s just the start!!!)

(Why am I so mad at fanon depictions of characters I am making I will never know, but in the meantime, we tread on)

Timing? - what’s mondstadt like? What about our favorite characters? Tf they up to?

Like, it already had fatui and stuff so it would all just be blown way out of proportion. Like, imagine the fatui have been in there longer…(I think I made an imagine post a few months ago where mondstadt is suffering because Venti got *officially infected*, and because he’s the wind, the weather and much more is affected…so the fatui…they kinda just…infiltrate casually over decades, at least until they can catch the anemo archon at his lowest and have that power over him)

For the most part, at the point that I’m thinking the story would take place… fatui soldiers and the knights of favonius have basically melded into one group. Those who didn’t like the change and could leave left…but some people couldnt, for the good of Mondstadt.

The church of favonius, as time goes on, gets a lot of flack for supporting a god who clearly no longer cares or maybe even exists, in the eyes of the people who have seen it’s fall.

(It’s been rumored that, though it is rumored he is of mondstadt descent…the recent lord harbinger in residence has not stepped foot in that cathedral.-could he be ashamed of his actions…or is there something bigger behind this?)

(Maybe I’ll get to my ideas for other characters in a different post but y’all know where diluc is goin’)

(He’s going to the swimming pool. He’s gonna go swimming, and then will get a slushie. What he doesn’t finish he will give to his pet bird. His bird likes grape. He doesn’t. They will feud. He will appease the bird and give him grape. He will then get a la croix. Then he will go home and stream BNHA and act like hes todoroki, only to stop for obvious, blaringly obvious, reasons. That will be all. We tread on.)

What is the extent of Venti’s power in this? Would he have any at all?

Though he knows they do it to taunt him, he actually does.

His wishlist is simple-

1. Mondstadt is safe.

And those with power over him know that. They also know he may be more powerful than them…but he actually has class, and thinks before he acts.

So…they actually kind of trust him to be a good harbinger. They let him run mondstadt the way he see fit…he can’t just leave and give them freedom…

It Iitersll sucks cause he has to be the tyrant so that nobody else will be the tyrant and do worse things…

As long as it serves the Tsaritsa and her plans. If not…trust he will be dealt with 😥

(More on that here maybe)

Though many statues of the seven have been defunct for a while, he would still be able to gain his own power from at least one…because technically, they already have his gnosis. It just so happens that it’s still inside of him. They have him wrapped around their finger by this point…

Misc: necessary to include

Venti would be so trusted by the fatui at this point that they put him in charge of Childe. No…childe does not bump up a place. He’s still 11.

You can imagine how interesting their interactions would be.

(You can imagine how offended he is)

Diluc is the token fugitive before the traveler and posse(posse being paimon and the Windblume in question) shows up in mondstadt looking for their sibling

#harbinger Venti #harbinger Venti au #corrupt Venti au #what if #poor Venti #venti needs a hug

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chaoticstateofaffairs · 1 year ago

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So...I am typing one handed...I may or may not have gotten angry at a situation I can't fix and put my fist through a glass table we have outside and then proceed to punch the side of the house (brick) several times but on the brights side, I don't think anything is broken.

Just have 2 get a few stitches (hopefully) and go home, bar the fact that hopefully they don't want 2 contact the psychologist in charge 🙄

But luckily I have a good group of friends who want 2 keep me out of the psych ward and have offered to clean up the mess I made before the docs want 2 do a house check 👍😃

Edit #1:There are no patients in the waiting room and only two cars out in the parking lot so hopefully this will be a quick in and out 😂

But the dreaded question at the front desk:

"Ouch, how did that happen? 😮"

"Uh...well, um...I...you see, I uh...honestly, I really don't know how to explain it to you. 🙂"

"O...Kay. Well give me your wrist so I can put the bracelets on."

"Ok. 🙂" (Extremely happy she didn't pry)

Meanwhile, Cat was off 2 the side just in a state of shock that no one pried. 😂

Edit #2: So, the waiting game has started and I've already been asked twice in the last 10mins if I'm sure I'm really not in pain and I've replied both times, "No ma'am, I'm not in that much pain, I promise. 🙂👍", and of course they find that incredibly odd but they will find out soon enough that this is not an abnormal occurrence for me 😂

Also, I'm pissing Cat off with the fact that I keep leaning down and untying her shoe but she still loves me 😂

Edit #3: Apparently it's bad morale for patients coming in and seeing one who's dripping blood all over the floor even though I have a wrap around my hand and it makes them not want 2 stay in here, so now I'm in the back waiting for the nurse and doctor 😂

Edit #4: Why did I put myself through this 🥲 I was gonna say something totally fucking disgusting but Cat deleted before I could hit send...oh well. 🤷‍♂️

Edit #5: I REALLY need a cigarette if my crazy ass is gonna sit here in this small ass room 🙄

Edit #6: Y'all know I'm crazy by now so I'm just gonna put this out here. I wonder what it would feel like 2 punch through this sliding glass door? 🤔

Edit #7: I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES IM GONNA HAVE TO FUCKING SAY I DON'T WANT THE FUCKING DRUGS! WHAT CAN'T THEY UNDERSTAND!!!! (At least they are referring to me right but that's thanks to Cat and not my scared ass)

"Sir, you need to take something or otherwise when the shock wears off it will be incredibly painful."

"I have told everyone who's talked to me about taking those things and I have said no, and my answer will continue to be no. So please, stop asking if I want some pain meds." (I was a little harsh with my tone but not what the way they put it)

"Sir, there is no need to get unruly."

"Un...unruly?! You have yet to see unruly but if you continue to try to give me those drugs that's when you will see unruly and if you give them to me without my knowledge you will also see a lawsuit, I have told all of you SEVERAL TIMES, I don't want those drugs, so please stop asking."

Edit #8: Nothing is broken, just bruised and going to be very sore, but I do need stitches, lots of them 👀

Edit #9: No, no I will not stop pacing in my room, THERE IS NO ONE IN HERE EXCEPT FOR CAT AND I, AND THE CURTAIN IS CLOSED SO NO, I WILL NOT STOP PACING.

Nobody can fucking see me, jfc! Now because of these jackholes pressuring me and fussing about my pacing that is affecting no one, I'm getting angry again and that makes matters worse cause then I get short with people, very short.

Edit #10: I'm about to go batshit, I want out, I'm slowly getting angrier at all the noise, at people, at this STUPID FUCKING INCESSANT BEEPING FROM THIS DAMN MONITOR THEY WONT SHUT TF OFF, HELL CAT HAD TO DO IT! FUCK! But I can't do a damn thing because it's my own fault that I'm here in the first place, I couldn't control my anger over the fact that there is a situation in which I possibly can not help in nor do I have fucking control over, which SUCKS and I'm trying, I'm trying so fucking hard but in all honesty I think they just want away from me and I don't blame them, I'm not good to be around. I don't know why tf Cat is till here if I'm being honest, it's not like I'm worth it.

Just...fuck.

Edit #11: I just want 2 hit the fucking wall until I can't do it anymore...fuck.

Edit #12: Doc is in 2 stitch Cal up and we will be out of here, nothing bad has happened to his hand just needs a shit ton of stitches on his left hand and just a small bit on his arm, nothing to major but enough to be serious and warrant a visit to the psych doctor tomorrow, but everything is looking good.

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down-for-tea · 11 months ago

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Why can't he just fucking like me like a normal person?? Why does he have to be scared of? How fucking awesome I am?

Like if that's the case bitch, gtfo so I can find someone who isn't scared by that and can show me the love and affection I deserve??

Why should I care if you truly love me if none of your actions either show me that love and affection or make me feel loved and wanted?

Even dumber question: why tf do I still like him? Why do I still want his attention and affection? Why do I think fawning will get me the response I want out of him when it clearly hasn't done that before? Why do I keep giving him chances?

I left my last relationship from someone who definitely would have loved me until death and at least showed me love in 70% of the ways I wanted to be loved. I left because sex was a deal breaker for me. That 1 form of affection that i couldn't get was 30% that I needed. The longer I went without it, the more resentful I got because time and time again I'd be promised that I'd at least get my physical needs met, and time and time again, those opportunities came and went without any notice.

So if this guy isn't ready or willing to date me and he's not willing to fuck me regularly, what the hell am I doing? I could probably find a fwb that, even if he'd break my heart because I'm dumb and I'd catch feelings, he'd at least fuck me senseless consistently.

But again, I fucking want what I can't have. What makes it worse is this guy is super convenient which makes his lack of well anything even more glaringly obvious. Like bro, it's not like we live far from each other. He'll, we fucking work together and you still can't make time or take the initiative to see me outside of work unless it's convenient for you.

Why do I have to chase? I should just cut off my energy and let him fucking grovel and beg for me and not give in. But I also know I'll miss the groveling when he gives up and starts being an asshole because I didn't give him yet another chance. Actually idk if that's true but isn't that what usually happens?

Maybe he makes me chase because he thinks I'm easy. He doesn't have to work for my attention, affection, or body. Why do I have to play games to get what I want? Why can't it just be straightforward?

I really need to double down on my career and stop even thinking about love and sex. I wish I could at least stop thinking about sex, but I think that's physically impossible for someone who's been masturbating since before I knew what that meant.

Big sigh. I just want a guy to come sweep me off my feet and treat me right and take me out and dick me down. I want someone to be head over heels for me and not be afraid to tell me he misses me or wants to see me and goes out of his way to make plans to see me. I want someone who will prioritize me as much as I will prioritize him.

I want a soul-deep love, someone who just gets me and still wants to get to know me, someone I can just be 100% real with all the time. I want someone who wants to call me to hear my voice and talk on the phone for hours instead of only texting me.

I want someone who will talk to me about anything and everything, where I don't always have to be the one to start the conversation. I want someone who is as impressed and enamored with my thoughts and mind as they are with my body.

I want someone who will call me out on my bs and be patient with me as I work to be better in the future. I want someone who will comfort me after I've wronged them because I genuinely mean my apology and I can't bear the thought of them leaving. I need someone who understands my abandonment wounds and can help me work through them so I can love as securely as possible.

Sighhhh.

I don't even know if someone like this exists. I just needed to get this rant off my chest.

And I guess I just want someone, anyone really, to know that I really wish this guy was all of the things I want. I'm sure he could be, but I need to learn to love people for who they are and where they're at now, not for their potential. And that's a lesson I haven't learned.

Obviously.

#my train wreck of a love life #why am i like this #why do i do this to myself #relationship problems #i just want love #and cuddles #i need support #personal rant #true love #disappointed in myself #please just let me die #dft coworker situationship

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2-cute-4-school · 4 years ago

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𝘯𝘤𝘵 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘴/𝘰 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦

requested by the national cutie pie @heartyyjeno

Mark Lee

he can be a bit oblivious sometimes bless his soul꒰๑˃͈꒵˂͈๑꒱୭

so he’s kinda clueless as why tf you’re so pouty

has he said anything stupid earlier? forgotten any important date?? or... even worse

ARE YOU ON YOUR PERIOD?? (ｼ;ﾟДﾟ)ｼ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵒⁿᵉ ʰᵃˢ ᵗʰᵉᶦʳ ᵗʰᵉᶦʳ ᵒʷⁿ ᵖᵉʳᶦᵒᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵃⁿ’ᵗ ᶜʰᵃⁿᵍᵉ ᵐʸ ᵐᶦⁿᵈ ˢᵒʳʳʸ

he’s too nervous to even prod at you rn

especially after a trainee who just happens to be wearing his hoodie passes by and you-

did you just growl?!?? ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

but you’re his baby and you’re just SO deflated and he HATES seeing you anything but happy and lively so he just can’t stand by and watch you so upset cuz his lil heart hurts too (๑��︵◕๑)

“babe, are you uh alright?”

“yeah, just a little bit cold” *trying to subtly hint him*

“oh! that’s not good, you should have dressed warmer, should i go ask manager-hyung to turn up the heating in the practice room??”

‘maybe i should just set your ass on fire to warm up’ (►˛◄’!)

“or do you maybe want my hoodie?? it should be enough so you won’t be cold anymore, where did i... ohhhhh”

*light bulb turning on above his head* (〇o〇；)

“it’s fine mark, it’s not like you love me anyway it’s fine i should have seen this coming” *loud fake sobbing in your hands* *mark panic*

“no no baby come on-”

“let’s just get the divorce papers, mark lee!!!!”

“but we’re not married-” *sobbing intensifies* “i’m sorry, I’M SORRY!!! i didn’t mean to!! here, just a second!!” (´⊙ω⊙`)！

this specimen just took off his shirt and draped it over you in the middle of the practice room

“mark, wtf are you doing?!?? i was only kidding!!”

“how was i supposed to know, what if you were seriously upset-”

“hyung, can you help-” *chenle slams door closed* *dolphin screams* “you’re paying for my eyeball removal surgery, you nasties!!”

“chenle NO”

Huang Renjun

my man here catches on pretty quickly what your pout is about

you didn’t make it exactly hard to notice either (；¬д¬)

“y/n, want some ice cream?”

“no, i’m cold, you can shove it up yo ass and share with dear [redacted]”

jesus i wonder why your s/o is mad renjun

he’s not sure how to approach the situation at first, worried that he might get a tube of ice shoved somewhere he wouldn’t want it to ゞ◎Д◎ヾ

he decides to just be himself read as blunt

“baby come oooon, i can ask them to give it back”

“no, then i’ll seem like a possessive bitch” (Θ︹Θ)ს

“don’t call yourself that!! but then should i just run back to the dorms and get another hoodie?”

“no, i missed you this week, i don’t want you to leave”

“then you can just come with me?” (≖^≖๑ )ﾌ

“but i’m too lazy to get up” same reader same

renjun : ఠ ͟ಠ then wth DO YOU WANT ?!!!?!!

your soul renjun

he’s a bit lost and you’re kinda under the weather too and he HATES it because you’re his kitten and he CAN’T and WON’T allow you to feel anyhting but like absolute royalty with him ೕ(⁍̴̀◊⁍̴́ฅ)

so he just drapes himself over your back, wrapping his arms tightly around you, caging you in a warm embrace and nuzzling his cheek into yours

“who needs a hoodie when they’ve got a junnie??!?!” (˃̵ᴗ˂̵ ๑)

how could anyone stay mad when a cutie like renjun just curls himself around you and pulls you flush against himself, wrapping his limbs around you and peppering kisses everywhere in reach

you’re basically purring in content at this how could you not 」(￣▽￣」)

depending on how tired the both of you are, you might qualify for a good ol’ nap cuddled up against renjun

but don’t let this fool you

you AIN’T gona catch him making the same mistake again

he’s asking you first about absolutely anything

“no renjun, i don’t need the last of your toilet paper, why do you even- you know what, don’t answer that, just go take a shit in peace” Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

Lee Jeno

we all know jeno is too much of a sweetheart to say ‘no’ (๑′ᴗ‵๑)

he might be freezing himself and he’d still give his hoodie away to the first person who asks learn how to say NO kids

so now you’re both freezing and on top of everything you’re upset too

that’s a DOUBLE KILL for sweet babie jeno (๑◕︵◕๑)

“babe i’m sorry how was i supposed to know you don’t like them??”

“it’s not even that, jeno, you’re literally shivering!! why would you give it if you’re cold too?”

and that’s when jeno’s bf sathelit sprung into action

“wait... ‘too’?? are you cold, my baby??!??!?” (ʘᗩʘ’)

“no, wait, i mean yes, but that’s not-”

“i’ll be back in a second” he isn’t even kidding

he comes back with a blanket AND heating pads (that he doesn’t miss a second to clutch to your cheeks and then coo at your fish face)

“where did you get these from?” *suspicious*

he tells you he borrowed stole them from hyuck by politely asking for them threatening with a flex of his arm while eye smiling the entire time hyuck stood no chance ( ⚆ ᴗ ⚆ ) *nervous chuckle*

but jeno allows you no debating time before he wraps you in the blanket like a lil cutie patootie WARM burrito and leaves a *smooch* to your forehead ( ˘ ³˘)♥

you can spend an eternity arguing with him that you should take turns since he’s cold too, he isn’t taking ANY OF IT

his bubs isn’t allowed to be cold and he wants you to forget about who he lent his hoodie to too

the only way you can get him to relent is refusing to stay cocooned in it

“y/n, wear it or you’ll catch a cold!!” ( •̀ω•́ )σ

“sorry to burst your bubble, but you can and will catch a cold too!!”

that’s how you found yourself sandwiched between jeno’s arms, suffocating from both his bodt warmth and the blanket enveloping THE BOTH of you

best sauna would 110% recommend ୧( ⁼̴̶̤̀ω⁼̴̶̤́ )૭

Lee Donghyuck

my man here knows EXACTLY what he’s doing once *that person* asks him for his hoodie with a flirty smile

he lends it over with that shit eating grin but not without watching from the corner of his eye as you deflated like a loney baloney ( ◞᷄દ◟᷅ )

pretends to not notice your pout and lack of answers to his remarks

“y/n, wanna order chinese tonight?”

sweet, but not on my watch asshole *silence* (˵¯͒⌢͗¯͒˵)

“i’ll take that as a yes, i’ve been craving some seaweed soup”

*eye twitch*

‘fine u lil booger two can play at this game’ (•̀o•́)ง

you leave the room and return... wrapped up in MARK’S sweater and plop down back next to hyuck proudly (ฅ⁍̴̀◊⁍̴́)

he tenses up and turns to you

“y/n” ooooh damn you’re in deep shit

*you bat your eyelashes innocently* “yes my dear?”

“you stink, can you move further away?”

you... did not... JUST HEAR THAT??!?!!? (ﾉꐦ ⊙曲ఠ)ﾉ彡┻━┻

but you get up and walk with your tail between your legs to the other side of the room and curl up in a ball of failure

you both do your own things insilence until-

*sniffle* *hiccup* *SNIFFLE*

“y/n?” *silence*”baby??” *hiccup*

oh no oh no NO NO, hyuck’s baby ain’t crying on his watch (╯’□’)╯

he DASHES to your side and envelops you in his arms while cooing apologies and sweet nothings in your ear

“come on baby, you know i didn’t mean it, i just want your attention and your attention only and i only meant that mark’s hoodie stinks, never you, you’re my baby, you can’t-” ヾ( •́д•̀ ;)ﾉ

and then your shoulders start shaking and hyuck starts to actually worry until your sobs turn into... giggles?? hold up, WHAT??

he turns you around just to see you in a fit of giggles, the only tears present are the ones building up in your eyes from laughter

“oh you think you’re smart, don’t you??” (⁎⁍̴̀﹃ ⁍̴́⁎)♡

ATTACC OF TICKLES FOR YOU

Na Jaemin

another sweetheart tbh who wouldnt be able to refuse out of courtesy

but he just KNOWS he fcked up the moment you turn away when he leans in to kiss you (︶︹︺) ╯ ( ് દ ് )

but he ain’t giving up so easily

no matter how upset you are, depriving him of his dose of kisses? federal crime!!!! CRUELTY!!!!!!! ╰[ ಠ Ĺ̯ಠ]╯

so he keeps on pushing his affections on you

a clutching back hug, a rushed kiss wherever he is able to land it considering your struggle to avoid him, a nuzzle against your cheek, a pinch to your cheeks, a failed attempt to lockyour hands together

my man here tries not to show disappointment whenever you succesfully escape his ♡ 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 ♡

jaemin, grumbling: “you and jisungie, a couple of hooligans, i’ll leave you on the welcome mat tonight for this” (҂⌣̀_⌣́) he won’t he loves you too much, he can’t fall asleep if he’s not 110% sure you’re well fed and happy

but he still babies you to no end

“come on my baby, what should i do so you forgive me hm?”( *¯ ³¯*)♡

you, an entire baby: *huff* “so now you care huh? go ask or no, go TAKE CARE of [redacted]”

jaemin’s last braincell performing swan lake on thin ice male version 2020 be like ₍₍ ◝( ･’ω’･ )◟ ⁾⁾

so he sighs and leaves the room

so NOW you’re worrying that mayyyybe you pushed him a bit too far

but before you even get the chance to walk down the hallway in your mighty search for your boyfriend, everything suddenly goes black

no you didn’t pass out or did you

jaemin just creeped up on you and ENGULFED you in a blanket hug for which he DEFINITELY didn’t run a marathon to buy༼つ ் ▽ ் ༽つ

when you finally manage to worm your head out of the fluffy cocoon he engulfed you in, your words were still muffled

“nana?? how did you even-???”

he just hugs you tighter and cuts off your questions

“shhh, all that matters is that you are ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE and i am maybe perhaps forgiven??” ◕ ‿ ◕

how could you ever refuse this precious soul

Zhong Chenle

so i can see one(1) scenario in which he would lend his hoodie to someone he SPECIFICALLY knows you don’t fancy

if you had a let’s say disagreement before and we all know he can be PETTY big time sooo basically he’d do it just to spite you ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

and the lil shiz looks SO PROUD of himself

but you’re not letting the brat win we ain’t no losers _へ__(‾◡◝ )>

so you just creep up behind him and stick your glacier hands up his shirt and rest them on his warm back

when i’m telling you he broke the record for the highest jump and most likely shattered any windows in the vicinity ༻(〃ຶ⌂〃ຶ)

“y/n!!!! keep your ice cubes to yourself!!”

“but i’m cold”

“your cold, your problem”

“watch me say the same thing when jaemin’s chasing you around with a wooden ruler” （；¬＿¬)

things settle down after that

or so he thought!!!!! (งಠل͜ಠ)ง never let your guard down lele sigh

another sneak attack to make sure chenle gets a SOUR taste of absolutely pure pettiness so he gets sick of it himself lol

this time a bitch ain’t joking

you shove your entire head under his shirt and then slither yourself so the top of your head pops out of chenle’s shirt collar let’s hope chenle made the wise choice of wearing a loose shirt so you both won’t suffocate

so you just blink up at him like (◕ᴥ◕)

and chenle is shrieking the entire time sigh

and while you’re too cute for him, its not exactly comfortable for either of you so he pats your head and begs asks you to get out of his shirt(?)

“am i getting your hoodie then?”

“i can’t just barge in and ask for it back”

“alright them i’m suffocating you FUN” (╯✧∇✧)╯

“i’m buying you an entire store of hoodies, JUST GET.OUT!!!”(;≧皿≦）

you have to restrain him for actually going on a shopping spree cuz he LOVES spoiling you but he pays in cuddles while you’re snuggling in your favourite hoodie of his

Park Jisung

confused babie /(@ﾟﾍﾟ@) a mood

he probably lent his hoodie cause he was too shy to refuse and didn’t even know you don’t like the person he gave it to

and then he’s clueless when you’re pouty ｢(ﾟ<ﾟ)ﾞ??

jisung: “do you want some water??”

you: *grumbling visibly upset* ( ｰ̀εｰ́ )

jisung, at a safe distance away from you, scratching his head, rethinking life choices: “...okay, maybe not. how about choco milk?”

he keeps an eye on you but other than that he’s LOST lol

that’s when the ✨𝓱𝔂𝓾𝓷𝓰𝓼✨ kick in

emergency contact momma jaemin is the first person jisung calls once he escaped to the ‘bathroom’

“jisung, you know i love you, BUT ARE YOU DUMB?? HOW COULD YOU- blahblahblah” my man is listening to an entire rant about how to treat your partner well 101 (۶* ‘ꆚ’)۶”

now that he knows the theory, he needs the practice

but you might already worry that he fell in the toilet with how long he’s been gone for god forbid you fall into that dark void

so he calls chenle

“chenle, i’m treating you to hotpot if you bring me a blanket or hoodie in less than 5 minutes”

“add in some steak and it’s a deal” ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)

“i’m so selling your soul for a piece of gum, FINE!! just be quick!!”

THIS BOI RIGHT HERE!! A TREASURE!!!! he would step on his honour just to make sure his bubs is hapyy ˭̡̞(◞⁎˃ᆺ˂)◞*✰

so after he excuses himself again to retrieve the blanket from chenle

he BURRITO WRAPS you in it and then sits down next to your confused but undeniably happy form and pats your head nervously while he rambles you’re still his most sought after for of comfort no matter what

“i’m sorry for being a bad boyfriend, i should have realized you’d be cold too and that i should always put you first and i-”

you cut him off with a chaste kiss to his cheek which definetely doesn’t leave him speechless and tomato red in the cheeks (๑♡⌓♡๑)

“it’s okay, i was just being dramatic, you should always put yourself first tho, okay baby??”

baby is malfunctioning but he still nods mindlessly and kisses your cheek back ( ᵅั ᴈ ᵅั;)

972 notes · View notes

lovecolibri · 2 years ago

Text

Things that did NOT Spark Joy-4x05

Fam, I am struggling this season and I don’t know if it’s just because it’s the last season and I’m losing my patience, or if things are getting worse, but I am...SO confused, so much of the time. Which isn’t always a bad thing in shows! They can’t tell you everything in the first episode, you’re supposed to have questions, it’s what keeps people coming back to watch. But RNM has a habit of not giving us answers to the questions we have and after 3.5 seasons I’m losing hope I’ll ever get answers so it’s to the point that having so many questions is no longer fun. On top of that, a lot of the question I have are not about the plot so much (okay they ARE but those are more “why TF didn’t we do/learn this ages ago” or “why is this person involved instead of someone else”) as they are about the mechanics of how LITERALLY anything is supposed to work. The show keeps contradicting it’s own lore, or just, having things happen with no explanation, or we’re randomly TOLD things and not SHOWN them, or pacing issues giving time and place no meaning which affects the audience’s ability to orient themselves with the story. Watching this isn’t like enjoying a good mystery where every new clue gives you more questions (BRB gotta go watch OMITB), it’s like playing a game with a 5 year old who keeps changing the rules to fit their needs leaving the adults to flounder trying to adjust what they already knew to fit the new, contradictory information.

The issues with season 4 seem to be mostly the fault of multiple seasons of bad choices culminating in the mess we have right now. Part of the pacing issue is this needlessly complicated set up for the main group to find out these tidbits of info about Dallas and his history, and these alien pieces, meaning we need 6-8 new and recurring guest characters, and everyone spread out doing different things with the new characters instead of each other. They should have had all these alien prisms as things already in possession by the main group. Eduardo could have the stone tablet thing (instead of sending it to Mexico and us finding out all about his family casita but not why Tezca was even IN Mexico and necessitating that to be a whole storyline in the first place, when Clyde said they were all on the ship with Jones. But also somehow didn’t know about Michael being his son with Nora? ANYWAY), Alex and Kyle could have had the prisms found in stuff from their dads/dad’s bunkers and on the reservation (maybe Gregory had a piece and says mom was holding it for Alex or something last season), or one is something Kyle pulled from Caulfield while he was gathering things up before it was destroyed. 🚗 said she pitched the show with a 5 season arc, and IDK how much Chris deviated from the alien part of the plan but with “the alighting” and “Ophiuchus” being name-dropped every season I feel like we’re still pretty on track, and changes were mostly made around personal drama stuff. So it’s not a stretch, again since things from season 1 are still being mentioned now, to think that they could have been setting this up all along, AND it would be the PERFECT way to keep Kyle and Alex connected to the main story, even though it should never have been a struggle but the show apparently hates joy, and interesting, fan favorite characters. They could have NOT killed off Jones and done *something* to wake him up this season (MAYBE having 1 guest star) and let him do the faceoff with Max. Jones specifically said he was going to go after Alex to get Michael to cooperate and this would have fulfilled that narrative promise they set up on a massive tee and then just....failed to hit, at all. Apparently Liz needs yet another rando scientist or two to work with instead of letting her work with Kyle and Michael again like she did to fix Max’s heart in season 2 even though we NEVER got to see it. We don’t need all these extraneous characters and backstories about them!

All this to say, this is REALLY long, and I have some salty shit to say and I’m going to be bitching about a lot of things I don’t understand and I’m annoyed about so I’m going to put it under a cut. If you happen to have answers, because my brain is swiss cheese about some events in this show (especially when they info dump for a whole episode), let me know! Then I’ll at least have some answers! If you’re only interested in the joy this show inspires, you can catch up on all that goodness here, otherwise lets dive in to the “clear as a muddy swamp” water. Who knows, maybe we’ll find a tunnel to whatever hole Alex has been kept in for the past month! (or you can go read my life reactions under my “roswell spoilers” tag since I’ll probably be reiterating a lot of it here, but those posts sometimes have memes attached!)

Link to previous episode posts: 4x01, 4x02, 4x03, 4x04

First bit of confusion right off the bat! Tezca saying the blue flame was a Power Jones had and she was able to access the power from Max even though it was dormant. HOWEVER, we never saw Jones use that power. We saw him quite often using regular fire. If we were going with some kind of blue fire, shouldn’t we have seen that at least once last season instead of retconning that it’s something Jones can do that we’ve never seen or heard about? Again they killed Jones too soon and without ever letting us learn as much as we should have from and about him.

Speaking of, NO JONES RESSURRECTION?! *throws phone*

So, Isobel found Cam, half naked in the desert and she was last seen with Max, who no one can find, and Isobel just....drops Cam off with Liz and fucks off to Mexico?! Without even trying to go look for her brother?! Season 1 told us Max could find Isobel even when she was in the middle of the desert and had no idea where she was, even though Max didn’t think he had the same mindscape powers as her, but she can’t rally the troops to go rescue her brother from the clutches of evil which, for all they know, could include Jones since they just found out his body went missing?! The show sidelining Isobel and Max’s relationship is one of their many, many crimes.

Max says he’s just waiting for the handprint to fade and break the connection. Everyone been knew he was lying about something and apparently Liz is...just going to trust him even when she acknowledges he’s lying to her face which, okay, but Michael doesn’t say anything either? About both the lying which you know he clocked, OR the fact that the handprint fading didn’t stop Jones from accessing that old connection and trying to kill Liz with it so why is ANYONE assuming the print fading will do anything? Or is this just more lore changes we’re supposed to ignore like we had to do last season when suddenly the faded handprint could still come back and kill you?

Michael has once again left someone who was kidnapped to their own devices but at least Eduardo told him too and it was okay though I did think Michael had gotten him untied and he was on his way out into the desert. Clearly he was found by Bonnie and Clyde again, but at the time, no one knew that yet. He could have been back at Deep Sky taking a shower and having a nap for all anyone knew. And yet, after a few hours since he saw him last, Michael is saying they need to stage a rescue op, while no one has heard from Alex in DAYS, even after they called him about a friend’s mom he knew well DYING and no one seems to think it’s the slightest bit odd? Not one single worry about Alex not calling to tell Michael good night, or answering Michael’s texts when Michael asks if he’s still up?! After showing us last season that they call each other just to chit-chat and check in and when Alex didn’t answer Michael went over and when he didn’t find Alex he went to Secret Government Agency headquarters to get to Alex?! *screams into pillow*

WHAT was the deal with the woman in the pod needing surgery?! I couldn’t see any injuries that would necessitate surgery in an unsterile environment with an untrained tech and no medical equipment! Kyle would know better than that and wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t a life or death situation which we are given NO indication that it was! This isn’t even just telling and not showing, it’s not telling OR showing! WHY was that even needed when she’s up and looking just fine? Did Kyle smuggle medical tools and anesthetics (which, he’s a surgeon not an anesthetist) into Mexico? Did he perform supposedly emergency surgery with NO anesthetics?! No monitoring equipment?! What kind of surgery was it?! Where did the find the silver goo to get her out of the pod?! WHY DID THIS NEED TO HAPPEN when all they needed her for was to tell them about the vault? We could have seen them pulling her out of the pod and her thanking them for rescuing her and doing the vault thing, and then showing them all the journals and stuff! It was SO unnecessary. And if they wanted Kyle and Isobel to do the investigating on their own, why pull her out of the pod at all? She could have been evil for all they knew! Why not leave her there until the figured out who she might be and then have the vault explanation? Also, how did the man who runs the distillery owned by Kyle’s family NOT tell him the casita was ALSO owned by his family?! Uuuuuuuugh!!!!!

The need for alien powers to open the vault was kind of cool but how did the not-alien Valenti’s do it? Did it require 3 of them to be in agreement to open the vault together? If so, why didn’t we hear about that?! Also, how did Tezca (who apparently named herself after an Aztec god even though she’s from outer space and wouldn’t know about them) even know it was in there? Can she sense alien things like Rosa even though this had no alien glass in it? It was smuggled down from Roswell fairly recently so was that something Jim took from Caulfield and gave to Eduardo? Instead of answering any of these questions, we had a whole thing about surgery. 🙄🙄🙄 But hey, at least one of the things the dark triad took was in Kyle's family! Which begs the question(s), why didn’t Kyle or Alex's family have the rest of the glass pieces? Oh right! Because otherwise m*ria would have nothing to do and no connection to the story so everyone else's story has to not make sense to squeeze her in 🙄 We should have been getting hints about this last season when we met Eduardo at LEAST. The main group should have found one or two of those glass pieces and been investigating them in the background (just a mention, some hints to build up to this) since at least last season as well, and they should have belonged to the Manes family/found in Jesse’s bunker, Eduardo/something else Jim left for Kyle, and maybe one on Alex's mom's side of the family from when Louisa lived on the reservation, instead of Patricia having all of them. Because when did Nora make the board? On Oasis? We didn’t see it with her when her and Louisa escaped! In Caulfield? How would Patricia have gotten it then? Why was it not a family legend passed down for m*ria's family if they were the guardians like the Valenti family? Mimi clearly thought Jesse and Jim just got mixed up in something and didn’t know what it was. It's just suuuuch a mess with no build up when it could have been teased from the start! Maybe Kyle found a piece in Caulfield while he was gathering stuff up before it exploded!

As much fun as learning about Dallas has been, m*rai did nothing this episode but drag his scenes down. She basically served as a rubber duck for Dallas to bounce info off of for the audience. Too bad Lucky isn’t still around, that would have been just as useful but at least enjoyable to watch. The whole symbol conversation was ridiculous given how instantly recognizable it is. As they both point out, before acting like it’s brand new information literally a minute later so m*ria can have an idea about it 🙄 I’m surprised they didn’t end up going to every Christian church in the area (there are hundreds in Roswell actually) because that symbol is everywhere. Apparently everyone and their mother know about the abandoned “church” but somehow it’s still miraculously empty of people or kidnap victims when they show up (guess they didn’t poke around enough to see the chair with rope around it?), and somehow everyone knows about the building but NO ONE knows about the SHED with the big ass TREE in it that grows STRANGE FRUIT?! REALLY?! And don’t even get me started on the Dallas backstory bit which, while sweet, makes zero sense with the other info we have about the time period and people involved. Did his dad put him in a pod and drive to a different town and put his pod in a lake before he was captured? Did someone else do it? If so, who? How was he out and freely living so long without reconnecting with his triad who were in the area? Clyde says he can feel Bonnie so clearly there is a triad connection! Why didn’t the military confiscate everything in that barn when they took him? Who knows! Not ever, ever us. Again, more questions that only arise because they contradict the stuff we already know.

Should have put in my Sparks Joy post that I would be delighted if m*ria and Dallas end up related? Because as much as I need them to stop using him as a reason to give m*ria screentime, I would absolutely cackle about that development. Everyone wanted her with Iz and they turned out related (but somehow still never addressed how close of relations that made her and Michael), so this would just tickle me to death.

As much as it’s nice getting SOME pod siblings moments, especially Max and Michael not ending on a fight, Max is STILL using every opportunity to throw Michael’s relationship with Alex in Michael’s face and I haaaate it. Also, why did they not have this discussion at the house? Because they drove out to the middle of the desert to look for Eduardo, and Michael suddenly decided Max needs to be back with Liz. Where he just was. Did Michael kick him out of the car and make him walk back to his house? Did he drive him back the way the just came and then drive all the way back out to the middle of nowhere to keep looking? (With THESE gas prices?!) It’s like they stage these scenes in a place that looks cool without any thought about how they characters got there, who all is there, when it takes place, how they end up where they do next, how long it takes to get anywhere, there is just no continuity!

So apparently squeezing their (alien?) organs produces enzymes that help powers manifest? Does everyone on Oasis palpate their kids organs to make their powers grow? Would doing so to Michael manifest any other powers seeing as how he’s also got DNA from Jones but only ever had the same telekinesis that apparently all aliens have until he found out he was immune to fire. Which apparently also now means he can summon it at will? Would have been nice to see that happening or talked about. Also, with as, frankly frighteningly poor control as Max has, I can’t imagine he’s had all these abilities from Jones and WASN’T basically Jack-Jack from The Incredibles going absolutely haywire all this time. And if all aliens have telekinesis, why did Max and Isobel have to work so hard to do it, when Michael had to work so hard NOT to and still many years down the line slipped up enough that he got branded as having demons?! (they were 7 when they came out of the pods? and 13 at the exorcism?) I want to be more excited about the alien stuff but it just feels like the writers don’t know anything about their own show or lore.

As fun as it’s been watching Liz and Cam have scenes together I’m once again asking why Liz isn’t having these heartfelt scenes with someone closer to her, like, oh IDK, ROSA! Yes Amber wasn’t available at the start but they could have done phone calls and just filmed Liz’s part and filmed Rosa’s later. The show wrapped before it started airing it’s not like they had the episode out before Amber was back on set. Or Michael who would also encourage pushing Max. Oh right, she did get to have her once per season 2.5 minute scene with m*ria to remind everyone they’re BFFs I guess 🙄 Also Liz brings up m*ria losing her visions means she can’t see Mimi anymore, but m*rai lost her visions BEFORE mimi died, and also, she died YESTERDAY. Not that you would know it based on literally anything happening. Also her “seeing the future” has literally never come in handy before so IDK why everyone is so distraught about it now 🙄

Clyde’s character continues to be all over the place, suddenly opening up to Michael, and being chill with Bonnie’s choices, not pushing about what happened with Eduardo, just, GIVING Michael the sky map, like??? Also sticking with my theory he and Bonnie should have been a couple. Also are we just supposed to....forget? that he AND BONNIE joined forces with Jones to commit genocide against their own people? But we’re supposed to buy wide-eyed, innocent Bonnie and Clyde saying the “first time” is always the hardest about her while 10 minutes earlier Bonnie was just saying she didn’t want to hurt people anymore?

I haaaaate that they are having Max and Cam talk about how she was in love with him (is it past tense if she’s still wondering what could be?), and how much he cared for her too. This should have happened in season 1 or if Cam wanted some space to get over it first, it should have happened in season 2 at the latest. She wasn’t even IN season 3, we are well past the time for having this discussion and now it’s just eating up screentime.

I guess Alex getting kidnapped by Eduardo and then, I don’t know, sitting back and getting his additional soda flavors from the Deep Sky lab techs while Eduardo bonded with the team and helped take down Jones makes him “really important” to Alex. The thing is, I WANT him to be really important to Alex! Alex deserves a good father figure! But we haven’t SEEN it or even been TOLD about it until this moment, when everyone is looking for Eduardo while Alex is currently eating dirt in a hole and no one cares.

The bandana is still a thing so why did we have to watch Alex take it off and them walk off alone through what looks to be a dystopian-ly empty town square while Jesse’s statue takes up the entire frame if they haven’t talked about it, and Michael’s still wearing it. If Rosa can come back as a Catholic miracle to Arturo and as Rosalinda to the rest of the town, SURELY Michael could get “miracle” surgery?

Max exploding in anger, what else is new? But even worse than him exploding in anger and hurting Liz and then the writers having HER apologize to HIM and decide to take equal blame, is the fact that the danger barely has a chance to register before it’s over. Instead of Max passing out after his outburst, or Tezca knocking him out and Liz getting hurt and Max waking up to Cam trying to keep Liz alive, and being worried that his fritzing powers are going to hurt her more, he just heals her in a blink and everyone moves on. THIS is the kind of drama we actually WANT to see, not the same cyclical patterns of them lying to each other and fighting about what avenue needs to be taken to fix whatever big problem is currently happening. That first healing where Max wasn’t even sure he could do it?! That moment is still amazing, and every time they have him heal her and brush it off it cheapens the power until it becomes mundane and I hate it.

Liz saying they want things to be simpler than they can be just rubs me the wrong way because things SHOULD be simple! Look at Malex! They loved each other even as broken teens with poor coping mechanisms and walls a mile high. Their separation came from outside forces, compounded by their trauma responses and them stopping communicating effectively with each other. Once they moved past all that? It was simple! They still have to work at it, but Michael sounds SO excited and content when he says he regrets not letting Alex in every time he shuts him out, because he KNOWS how good it feels, how much easier it is to let Alex it. But that has never been Echo’s problem. They don’t have outside forces keeping them apart, they have fundamentally different ideas about how to do nearly everything and when they should be pulling closer and working together they are ALWAYS lying to each other and shutting each other out. It’s not “simple” because they...aren’t compatible. And I hate that because I LIKED Echo when the show first started and I wanted to keep liking them but the writers make it SO HARD to root for a couple that can never tell the truth and work together on anything. Also Max is....who they decided Max should be. Remember when he fell all over himself when he saw her for the first time and when he begged her not to die and every time he looks at her with heart eyes when she’s being incredibly smart? If they had leaned into that instead of the “brooding, dark, tortured hero” aspect, he and their relationship would be so much better and more interesting.

.Supposedly Michael tells Dallas the fruit from the alien tree is fuel, not food? Even though he took a bite? Fuel for...their ships? For their minds? Did Clyde say that? Is this another thing they just pulled out of the air and put in a throwaway line to come back in 4 episodes where we’re expected to remember?

At least according to the preview for next week, that kiss from Bonnie was good for something besides proving that Michael is loyal to Alex, but honestly we should have seen Clyde say something to Bonnie by the end of that episode asking her like, a vague "did you do it?" and her saying yes and looking upset about it, and then seen Michael cough or something. Then this whole episode we should have seen a little something in each of his scenes, not much, maybe a sniffle here and a cough there, or a shiver, but something so that when he collapses at the end it all comes together. But we only saw his powers flicker once before that last scene and that was it! I honestly thought when I saw that, that we would find out there were alien flowers or something in the cave damping his powers. Instead they just had a kiss happen out of nowhere and then circled back 3 weeks later to make it into something different. As heavy handed aa RNM can be they somehow fully missed out on foreshadowing this. Like yeah it's a day or 2 in show time, but 3 weeks for the audience. Also, Michael hasn't really been physically hurt since the shed and Alex isn't even there to catch his boyfriend when he passes out?! Alex isn’t there when Michel gets to sit and look up at the map to his home planet?! This is Michael all alone after finding out Sanders wanted to adopt him all over again.

Speaking of Alex and the show missing opportunities, we are 3 full episodes and a month for the viewers past Alex getting quicksanded and you STILL want me to believe Michael isn’t the slightest bit worried about not hearing from Alex? I get that they need Michael to go nuts at the right time since apparently Alex is missing for quite a bit of the season and they needed Michael to be doing other things, but that’s like, SUCH an easy fix?! We JUST saw Michael being worried he messed everything up and Alex saying he trusts their relationship to be okay even if he’s gone for a bit. Michael being worried but forcing himself to push it back because he thinks he’s overreacting makes PERFECT sense for him! We should be seeing him leaving a couple messages every episode, updating Alex on what’s going on and sometimes just inane things like making fun of something Max said. We should see him talking with Dallas, and Liz, and Max about being upset Alex isn’t answering but how he thinks he’s overreacting until finally he says something to Kyle and Kyle validates that Michael’s not overreacting and he’s worried too. We should be feeling like the Jaws theme is playing in the background and watching the knowledge that something has happened to Alex getting closer and closer to their realization. Even if for some reason we couldn’t see Alex (though it’s the same thing as with Rosa, if he’s in a hole, they could shoot him alone in whatever space they are keeping him at a later date since the whole show wrapped before airing), we should be seeing everyone else, but especially Michael feeling his absence in every single episode.

Finally, and much as I’m ready to FINALLY get the Kybel train moving, I was absolutely correct that it would be rushed and either they wouldn’t get together until the end, or they would shove them together RIGHT after the breakup and either way it wouldn’t feel like the story Kyle and Isobel deserve. I guess this is the better option as we have more episodes to enjoy Kybel content (that is, if they don’t decide to be awkward about it and Kyle doesn’t get quicksanded with Alex to keep them apart), but BOY does it feel cheap to not only have them getting together within about 24 hours of Isobel breaking up with Anatsa, but also to have IN THE SAME EPISODE, in the span of a few hours, Isobel going from crying about driving the best relationship she’s ever had off a cliff to “she wasn’t my person”. And Isobel brings up something Kyle said two full seasons ago as like, a reason she never thought he was an option, but she was off hooking up with someone else that night, so how are we the audience supposed to connect that blip of a moment that I do not remember to Isobel liking Kyle this whole time but thinking he didn’t like her? AGAIN, this is something we should have been seeing hints of since that episode or at the very least had Isobel mention something last season before going out with Anatsa about thinking he’s not an option for her so she’s going to take a chance on someone else. It’s just so frustrating that all the tiny crumbs are being held up like, “look this has been here all along!” because the writers are bad at their jobs and can’t seem to hit the broad side of a barn-sized emotional beat to save their lives.

Finally finally, here is a live reaction of us waiting for literally anyone to care about Alex because if I don’t laugh a little Imma tear my hair out

#roswell nm #roswell spoilers #roswell nm my behated #things that did not spark joy #4x05 #anti maria deluca #i have looked at this too long so sorry not sorry if it's a rambling mess #i'm definitely not going back to re-edit it anymore #it's your problem now!

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obeiii-mee · 4 years ago

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Hey! Sorry to bother you with a second ask but i thought this one would be cool. Fluffy headcanons of the demon brothers watching scary movies with MC??? Somewhere MC gets scared, and some where they don't? Thanks again!! :)

It’s no bother!! I love getting requests from you guys! The more, the merrier. I sort of hc that the brothers and MC do have movie night every week or so and with them being demons, they tend to levitate towards the horror genre. Thank you for sending this, this is really cute :)))

Without further ado—-

————————————

The Brothers watching Scary movies with MC:

Lucifer:

-Haha mf already knows how this is going to end

-He warned you, he really did

-The horror movies DevilDom has to offer are nothing, and I mean nothing, like the ones from the human world

-I’m not going to go into detail but imagine Two Girls One Cup, in a less kinky and more gorey way (then times that by 10)

-But you were adamant into giving it a go and he literally could not deny you in that moment

-Because you were giving him the puppy eyes

-That’s like, the finishing blow you use every time to get your way with him and as far as you know it’s the only one that works so-

-He expected your reaction to the last second

-You were traumatised for lack of a better word and you were basically watching the whole film through the cracks between your fingers

-Seeing you in that state was like a punch in the gut but he couldn’t stop himself from throwing in a subtle ‘I told you so’

-“I told you watching something like this before bed is a bad idea, MC.”

-He might be a bit condescending and judgemental at first, but he’s probably going to baby you a bit for the rest of the night

-Because he feels bad he allowed you to watch it in the first place

-HAHAHAHA SOFT LUCIFER HAS BEEN SUMMONED, USE HIM WISELY

-He will start muttering words of comfort to you later because he’s certain you’re going to have trouble sleeping

-Because of that one time, he’s very hesitant to let you watch another horror film anytime soon

-But he will relent eventually (especially if you want to watch a human horror film as those are technically less extreme)

-If it makes you happy, he will go through with it, even if he has to let you cling onto him for the rest of the day

-Besides, the way you cuddle into him while you’re watching a horror film is very cute and endearing to him

Mammon:

-Ah yes, the most effective method of waking up the entire House of Lamentation at 3:00 am

-Mammon screaming his own vocal cords out in his room as he tries to get through his human’s favourite horror movie without dying of a heart attack

-It was his idea because he’s definitely the type to go: “Yeah let’s do this, it will be fun. Don’t get too scared alright MC? The Great Mammon will be here to protect ya.”

-And then ten minutes in, he’s basically in your lap

-Half an hour in, he turned himself into a demon burrito with his blankets

-You were enjoying the movie, laughing at the stupid sound effects and poor quality while Mammon next to you has wrapped himself in like two dozen blankets and pillows

-“Mammon you’re going to overheat.”

-“Don’t be silly human, I’m a demon who lives in hell. I can take high temperatures the same way I can take this damn movie!”

-He doesn’t take either of them well

-Mammon and the horror genre don’t mix well together to begin with

-So even if you might enjoy horror, he doesn’t react well to it at all

-And he’ll be low-key relieved if you tell him you guys don’t have to watch any sort of horror film for your date night

-“Well I guess if you don’t want to, then we don’t have to. Can’t make my human do something they’re uncomfortable with eh?”

-But if you do watch a scary movie with him, be sure to show any sort of physical affection to him as often as possible

-You don’t have to say anything, just hold his hand or let him put his head in your lap or something

-It might stop him from screeching like a female sloth in heat

-The last time that happened, his brothers weren’t too pleased with him

-They about to recreate the horror film scenes onto him, bring the popcorn have fun

Levi:

-For some reason, I feel like he doesn’t get scared easily while watching stuff

-I mean, after decades of obsessively watching animes with brutal character deaths (like Attack on Titan style) and grotesque horror games that are pretty nasty even to demons, let alone humans;

-A horror film, from the human world or even DevilDom, doesn’t do much for him

-It will have to have very good psychological horror in it if you want the hairs on his arms to stand up in anticipation

-Tension is a big deal for him and he will immediately shut off the TV if there are any cheap jump scares

-But, if you manage to find just the right thing for him?

-You’ll both be hiding under the bed in no time under the bathtub more like

-Hell, if the film you’re watching is that good, he might even be holding onto you for dear life without realising it and getting flustered about it

-For weeks afterwards, any sound that is remotely similar to one from that movie will probably send both of you into panic

-You came to his room one night because you’ve had a nightmare about the stupid film and legitimately thought there was a fucking demon serial killer in your room

-So you wanted to stay in his

-“But what if there is a serial killer in your room and now you just led it to me MC????”

-It’s all jokes, there’s no question he would lock both of you in his room and then stay there with you wide awake until dawn

-You’re his best friend after all, he would have to be completely heartless to leave you on your own! (Besides Levi is terrifying when he wants to be)

-One time you were sleeping over and the sound of fumbling woke you tf up

-And Levi immediately turned into his demon form, like he was ready to throw hands with this fictional murderer that supposedly sneaked into his room

-“DON’T WORRY MC, I’LL PROTECT YOU!”

-“Ah never mind, it’s just Mammon breaking into your room again to steal your Ruri-Cham figurines and sell them on Akuzon.”

-“Oh OK.”

-“.....”

-“WAIT MAMMON WTF YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG, GET OUT OF MY ROOM-“

-I’m playing Minecraft

Satan:

-Believe it or not, Satan doesn’t care much about horror movies

-Don’t get me wrong, he loves watching his brothers shit their pants out of fear in the middle of one while he silently smirks to himself because watching other people suffer brings him euphoria

-Especially if someone actually manages to find a film that is excellent enough to spook Lucifer, because then he will be cackLING

-But, overall, he watches a lot of shows revolved around drama and crime

-That’s his thing

-However, he won’t turn you down if you’re up to watching a scary movie with him

-Any time spent with you is valuable time seeing as it won’t be long before his brothers start hogging you again like the cockblockers they are

-He is honestly surprised to find out you seem to be rather amused by those sort of movies

-So, even if it’s not inherently something he does on the regular, he would definitely watch a scary film with you if you enjoy them that much

-But in exchange, he makes you promise to read with him until bedtime rolls around (imagine Lucifer having a fucking curfew for his brothers and you lmao)

-So for the rest of night you guys just read together, ya know, like sappy romantics

-Tbh, this man will do almost anything with you as long as both of you are having fun

-He knows it’s not likely, but he insists on sleeping in the same room that night just in case you have nightmares and he needs to comfort you

- :)

-Satan is a gentleman. Idk how many people that don’t play OM expected to hear this

Asmo:

-Why would you want to watch a movie when you could be watching him???

-I mean, you would rather watch all that gory stuff on the TV than his beautiful face?

-He may get salty over a fucking movie tbh

-Horror films aren’t something he generally looks for while trying to pick a movie to watch

-He can definitely handle them better than Mammon but it’s not something he takes great pleasure in watching

-But the first time he ever sits down with you to watch one, he’s very intrigued to see your reactions

-You started feeling the sensation of absolute dread creep in at the very beginning and you were trying your best to act like you weren’t getting affected by what you saw on the screen

-But you were

-You went from “I’m grown ass adult, I can watch a fucking horror movie, no problem.”

-To “Welp, not enough of a grown ass adult for this-“

-And Asmo thought the way you tried to hide your nervousness was very mesmerising in a way

-He was planning on flirting with you during the movie anyway, but now that you were pressing himself against him?

-Oh boy, Oh boy

-“Darling if you wanted to touch me, you could’ve just said so. Making the excuse of watching a movie is unnecessary.”

-Nightmares? What nightmares? You won’t have time to have nightmares ;)

-haHAHA funny inappropriate joke

-It’s Asmo, it’s mandatory to have at least one of those added in here

Beel:

-Beel will show up if there’s food and that’s that

-He doesn’t care what type of movie is playing on the TV as long as he has a bucket of popcorn next to him at all times

-Horror films aren’t something he can’t handle, he’s a demon like the rest of his brothers and he is used to...violent deaths and such

-He doesn’t get scared but there are times where he gets attached to the characters

-Especially movies with actual good and not cringeworthy dialogue

-Therefore, when they die, he gets sad even if they’re just fictional and their death had no real impact

-He also thinks that the way you can watch these things without flinching is impressive

-I mean, he can watch it and so can his brothers because they are demons

-They’ve done worse things than the things you see in horror films

-But you’re a human! So it’s weird to see you watch a person get repeatedly slammed against a wall until their neck snaps without batting an eyelid

-Overall, he does not have an opinion on scary movies

-He gets a bit emotional when a character he really liked dies

-But other than that, he’s just focused on eating

-And occasionally patting your head affectionately

Belphie:

-He doesn’t really like horror films because there’s a lot of screaming and tense music and he’s just trying to nap in your lap (rhyme)

-He doesn’t really need sound effects like that in the background while he’s trying to sleep

-But one day he was like “Hey, what if I show my favourite human this particular scary film?”

-And he did

-And he’s internally dying and feeling guilty and yet so flustered because of you

-It’s like you suddenly turn into this very fidgety and anxious mess and he thinks you just look....cute

-At some point you were getting overwhelmed and sprung up on your feet to turn the lights on

-And he just grabbbed your wrists, pulled you down next to him and let you press your head against his chest

-As mentioned, he’s a little shit and will tease you for being such a scaredy cat

-“That was the most predictable jumpscare and you still flinched, wth is wrong with you lmao.”

-But at the same time....

-“Relax. It’s just a horror movie. You’ll be fine. Besides, I’m here. Like I would let something bad happen to you.”

-That’s sweet, even if the tone of voice may not imply it because he’s such a brat-

-He actually really likes holding you for once, because usually he’s the little spoon

-He’s still a bit of a sadist so I imagine him sitting there and watching this while giggling to himself

-Isn’t he the cutest, laughing at other people’s misery and their never ending suffering?🥺🥺🥺 UwU

-Ah well, at least he has the decency to spoil with affection afterwards and make sure you have no nightmares that night

-You know, as payback for the horrific shit he made you watch with no warning

————————————

OK, I think I made a decent job of this even though it took longer than it actually was meant to. Thank you for reading though. I’ve got so many requests to go through and I’ve been feeling motivated lately so yeah!

See you soon

Al~

#obey me #obey me imagines #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #watching scary movies #obey me shall we date #☂️ demon brothers #⭐️ requests #🌸 comfort #💳 mammon supremacy #I love him I’m sorry

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supercantaloupe · 4 years ago

Text

on Aelwyn Abernant, the Reformed Villain Squad, and redeeming teenage antagonists

an analysis on antagonist character development in Fantasy High. spoilers through sophomore year and (mildly so) the most recent roll20 oneshot. essay under the cut bc i am very long winded

the turnaround with Aelwyn in s2 is handled so well i cant get over it. she was such a major antagonist in the first season and just. despicable. she had no pathos. we hated this bitchy older sister who tried to kill Adaine and her friends and raise an evil dragon, and when she gets knocked on her ass and thrown in jail, we cheer.

and then s2 fucking starts saying “hey she’s in jail still if you’d like to look into that” and pursuing that thread ends up being almost as comedic an idea as it is a reluctant one; it’s also quickly shunted to the background as soon as more pressing leads present themselves, to the point where we almost forget about her until Adaine is kidnapped and then the first time you see her it’s just. viscerally upsetting.

she’s bad. she did evil. she got what she deserved.

but she already got what she deserved. last season.

she got her ass handed to her by a bunch of 14 year olds including her little sister (how embarrassing!). her plans were thwarted. she got punched in the face and made fun of. she already got her punishment.

it just……immediately registers as over-the-top Wrong to be told “hey, remember that antagonist you beat last season? she’s still being punished for that, except it’s way worse than just going to mumple.”

and there’s that reminder that like…this is a teenager. a child. who has been manipulated and abused. which is a really fascinating look at this character we used to see pretty much unilaterally as a one dimensional bitchy villain.

i mean we got a more in depth look at Penelope’s and Biz’s motivations in s1 (Penelope being the popular rich girl sorceress obviously hungry for power and the alllure of the high school clout that is being prom queen, but also we know that her having to turn on her best friend Sam Nightingale as part of the scheme was something she was reluctant and not happy to do; and Biz being that predatory incel creeper type dude besides just a nerd with computers and a lack of social graces). and they were as much willingly active in the plot as Aelwyn was. yet in s1 they really never do bother to explore Aelwyn’s motivations. i remember after watching s1 but before s2 that was one of my biggest lingering questions: why tf was Aelwyn involved?

well. she was manipulated and abused. her terrible parents raised her in an awful environment that conditioned her to Listen and Obey and Behave and Be Perfect, and then Kalina helped cinch the noose around her neck with threats and coersion into the KVS Kaper and the NMK crown debacle. she doesn’t freely choose any of it; she’s coerced, manipulated, abused.

and she already got justifiably punished for her bad actions in s1. the torture is almost literal overkill. it’s just……there’s this immediate turnaround in sympathy and view of the character. on first watch, it’s viscerally upsetting to see her getting so brutally punished for actions she already faced consequences for, and on rewatch, it makes your skin crawl to know she’s being tortured for terrible things she had little choice in carrying out. and tortured by some of the very same people who coerced her to behave terribly in the first place, to add insult to injury.

and it’s still fucking frustrating when they rescue her and her memory gets reset and she goes back to her parents because it’s like “well shit, she’s evil again, and we just wasted all that effort for nothing” but it’s also sad cause we know she’s running back to her abusers and she isn’t happy about it but doesn’t feel like she has a choice. and it’s sadder still that what eventually inevitably gets her to turn to good for good (i.e. away from her parents) is just. a full dissociative mental breakdown.

(but then she survives and it’s gonna be good!!! until Adaine dies in her fucking arms. which is. almost funny. she’s been through so much shit and that isn’t something that Brennan would have just. preplanned. like a written in plot point. no, that was just an unpredictable consequence of the battle. what a juicy fucking moment. she’s been through All That Shit™️ and has finally turned to fight for good and her sister just fully dies in front of her. yeowch)

and she turns out okay in the end. she comes out the other side alive and whole and supported by her sister and her friends, with the hope of a future and recovery. there is an acknowledgement that A) she can and will grow from her mistakes and damage, B) it’s going to be really hard, and C) the post-s2 one shots both prove that she’s doing okay now. hell, she has a whole squad now of other former-teenage-villains-turned-good-guys. she has friends now, Ragh and Zayn, with common ground, and a secret handshake and everything. they’ve all grown from the mistakes of their past into better, happier, healthier people

and about Zayn and Ragh. we’ve seen a lot of characters, protagonist and antagonist, teenage and adult, PC and NPC do some really fucked up shit and get punished for it. but why do they get happy endings? why are Aelwyn, Ragh, and Zayn the only members of the RVS and not someone else like Biz or Penelope or Dayne?

well, the latter two are dead by then; but then again, Biz and Ragh were also killed by the Bad Kids in s1, and subsequently resurrected. (Zayn died too, but was neither killed nor revived at the Bad Kids’ hands, so i’ll get to him in a sec.) and there are plenty of adult antagonists the Bad Kids face who are killed and left that way by the Bad Kids without second thought: Johnny Spells, Coach Daybreak, Captain Wicklaw, the Abernant parents (presuming Arianwen doesn’t survive in the forest for very long, which i doubt). why do some characters get second chances while others don’t?

in the case of Zayn, his death was pretty much out of the Bad Kids’ hands, and they later found out he was manipulated by Daybreak into being bad anyway because of his sad living situation. he was a pretty minor antagonist in the scheme of things, and when we re-meet him as a ghost in the s1 epilogue, he’s pretty obviously remorseful for his actions. and dying seems like a steep enough punishment to me for the shit he did to contribute to the KVX caper; returning as a ghost, free from the trappings of his unfortunate living life, he now has the room and freedom to grow into a better person.

in the cases of Daybreak, Spells, Wicklaw, and the Abernant parents: these are bad people who should know better. these are fully grown adults who actively choose to do evil. whether they think it’s the right thing to do or not (in Daybreak’s case), whether they think it will benefit them and don’t care about anyone else (in the Abernants’ case), or whether they don’t care much at all and are just doing shit because they feel like it (in the cases of Spells and Wicklaw), these are all adults who consciously make the decision to do terrible things and hurt other people. of course Johnny Spells, who is generally a punk thief and thug, is not on the same level of bad as Angwyn, who kidnaps and tortures his own daughters for political gain, but the point remains. these fuckers should know better. they’re grown ups. they had their chances to be good and they chose not to heed them. their minds are set on bad actions and they are a continued danger to other people as long as they are alive. when they die, the Bad Kids do their damndest to make sure it stays that way.

now, in the cases of Penelope and Dayne: these are teenagers who actively chose to participate in an evil plot. Penelope, Dayne, and Biz were all fully cognizant of what they were doing trying to raise KVX back to his former power. why? well, to some extent, we can only speculate. i suspect Penelope was just one of those Regina George bitches who is rich and popular and powerful and obsessed with power and popularity within high school as if that’s the end-all-be-all of existence (which, like, when you’re currently in high school, is a somewhat understandable worldview i think). Dayne being her boyfriend and a musclehead jock probably falls into a similar line of thinking. they are actively and willingly trying to cause harm, and teenager or not, must be stopped. they’re killed, anyway, during the Climactic Battle™️ anyhow; it’s not like the Bad Kids were going to gain anything at that point by keeping them alive.

now, Biz: Biz is the creepy Nice Guy incel type, sees woman as a prize he deserves to win, yadda yadda. he does, like Penelope and Dayne, actively choose to help KVX. there might be something to be said about his motivation the Bad Kids discover after the arcade battle by detecting his thoughts (that being to upload the captured maidens from the palimpsests to “call the shots” himself) is an altered memory; whether this was his original motivation from the start or not, i’m not sure. but the Bad Kids do kill him – and then resurrect him for important, time-sensitive information. and they beat it out of him – he gets two of his fucking fingers blown off. and Riz reattaches them once they have their info, and they realize his memory is altered. of course, the Bad Kids don’t know at this point that the altered memory was something he, Penelope, and Aelwyn had planned and agreed on and done to themselves, but this points to something important in my opinion: the Bad Kids, and the narrative/show as a whole by extension, acknowledge that external manipulation affects how guilty someone is in a crime.

which brings us to Ragh. Ragh, introduced from episode 1 as the meathead jock. Ragh the archetypical one-dimensional high school bully. Ragh who works with the harvestmen in effort to (ostensibly) end the world/provoke international war. Ragh, whose low intelligence but high loyalty and internalized homophobia led him to be fully swayed and blindly led by his coach and captain, who have actively chosen to do evil. Ragh who is killed in combat by the Bad Kids and resurrected for information, not Daybreak. Ragh, who the Bad Kids realize was probably not aware of exactly what he was being made to do and how bad it really was. Ragh, who by their kindness in sparing his life and directing him on a better path, becomes a well-rounded character and an active ally to the Bad Kids during and after prom, an invaluable companion during their quest in sophomore year, and overall a really good friend and person.

(it might also be worth considering the case of Jawbone here, too, who started out a very minor antagonist in a fight but ended up becoming a major NPC because the Bad Kids talked to him, found out he came from an unfortunate situation and set of circumstances, and showed him kindness in offering the school guidance counselor position, a kindness that isn’t really owed but given anyway and ends up changing his entire life for good.)

and then, Aelwyn, whose case is already discussed above. so, why is the RVS what it is, why them but not others?

if you’re familiar with Avatar: the Last Airbender, you’re probably familiar with Zuko’s character arc, and how it’s often lauded as a masterful example of developing a villain into a hero over the course of a narrative. what makes Zuko’s arc so well done and exceptional is that he starts out as a kid in a bad situation under the influence of bad adults seeking to do bad deeds, but he later realizes the error of those ways, actively removes himself from that situation despite the difficulty and danger in doing so, goes through a lot of shit and reflects on his past mistakes and learns from them, and then actively chooses to fight for good in the end with the help of close, trusted friends, found family.

this, i believe, is the same in the case of Fantasy High and its treatment of the RVS. its members, like Zuko, are all teenagers who came from shitty situations and were manipulated by evil adults to do bad. they are punished for their bad actions, and they learn from their errors and mistakes. with the kindness and help of good people, friends and chosen family, they are able to escape their abusers and bad situations and grow into their own people. and they actively choose to improve themselves with that help and fight for good.

Fantasy High, through the arcs of Jawbone, Zayn, Ragh, and especially Aelwyn, asserts that it is not your fault if you come from a bad situation and are forced to behave badly as a result. it does not pretend that you are absolved of any responsibility for those actions; quite the opposite, as even though they were externally manipulated into their evil actions, all of those mentioned characters face tangible consequences for their actions and later express remorse for their mistakes. but Fantasy High also asserts that even if you have made great mistakes in your past, even if you came from a bad situation beyond your control, even if you were manipulated and abused, with care and love and support and a hell of a lot of work and effort, you can improve your situation and find good, happiness, peace, you can thrive. evil adults who should know better don’t get redeemed. teenagers who aren’t coerced but actively choose evil don’t get redeemed. but abused kids deserve another shot at happiness. with enough work, and some love and help along the way, they can get there, even from the lowest imaginable point, from rock fucking buttom. it’s possible.

#fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #dimension 20 live #dimension 20 #fantasy high sophomore year #fantasy high freshman year #d20 #dimension 20 live spoilers #brennan lee mulligan #aelwyn abernant #zayn darkshadow #ragh barkrock #sasha reviews #hello tumblr. tonight i bring you a 2.3k word essay. tomorrow? who knows #i'll just throw myself into the nearest river if this doesn't show up in the tags this is fine #this one's for y'all in my notes i see u and i love u here's some content #the first half of this is mostly copy pasted from my discord ramblings #i didnt intend for this to be as long as it got but yknow. i never do and it always is #so thats why the first part of this is written differently from the rest of it lol

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dangermousie · 3 years ago

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Look at those arms! MMMMM!

You know, I really like Gilina. Or, more correctly, I really like what Gilina represents, both in terms of Crichton’s development and in his feelings for Aeryn. Gilina is Earth Crichton’s dream girl: she is blonde, pretty, sweet, and plucky (she is no push-over). She is also a girl geek, and a techie and for our scientist, that’s quite irresistibly appealing. (Btw, let me take a moment to note how much I like that the show showed us that Crichton had a type in women, B.A. (before Aeryn): they were blonde and sweet and had a certain safe niceness to them. Aeryn is not blonde, not sweet, and not safe at all. And neither is his feeling for her). If Gilina was a girl working for a research institute on Earth and she and John met at some party, I can easily see them talking, dating, falling in love and getting married. And having a happy married life. And the John of ‘PK Tech Girl,’ despite some unpleasant encounters in the Uncharted Territories is still enough of the Earth John to be attracted to Gilina, to be at the very beginning of developing something for her. He is still enough of an innocent, with enough uncomplicated and sweet left in him, for Gilina to be his type. But of course, that is not the case any more when they meet again in ‘Nerve.’ When they meet again, Gilina has had a fairly uneventful PK tech existence. She hasn’t changed much. But she is not Crichton’s type any more. Not after Maldis and finding out firsthand that there are psychopaths that will just enjoy watching you die for the fun of it, not after Crais and finding out that no, if you only explain the truth, it won’t make it better. The person will still want to kill you even if they believe you, even if it’s wrong and irrational, and there is nothing you can do. Not after ‘Jeremiah Crichton’ (my least fave ep of the whole show, but whose theme of Crichton’s long isolation is well taken). Not after finding out the truth about Zhaan, or almost dying out there in space with Aeryn. Not after the mind and soul fuck of ‘A Human Reaction.’ Gilina is not for this John. Not any more. And it’s not just that in the meanwhile he’s ceased to see anyone but Aeryn. It is also that his character has changed. And that is only the beginning. When he meets her in ‘Nerve’ it is pre-Scorpius, pre-Aurora Chair, pre-everything in S2, 3 and 4 (I’d do a list but it would take too long to type). If Gilina met S4 Crichton, she’d freak and run away and rightly so. A digression, but I find it fascinating how John's non-Aeryn women reflect his change. We have his ex-gf on Earth who he was serious enough to apparently want to propose to, before they went their separate career way. She is sort of like Gilina only blander, less engaging (Earth Crichton strikes me as someone who's had things come to him too easily because of his intelligence or what not. His passion (for whatever) was never truly engaged to the full, and the gf reflects that.) There is also Caroline (who we meet in Terra Firma) with whom he had something or other, but she is rather like his Earth-ex and it's clear the Crichton of TF doesn't even have anything to say to her any more. From them, we progress to Gilina (about whom see above). In first half of S2, there is the PK Disruptor. Now, she is a lot more edges, more hardness. If she is like anyone, it's a female version of Bond. And Crichton sleeps with her, because hey, he's tried everything to get Aeryn to admit any interest, he's beaten his head against the rock and he's beaten it and beaten it. But she refused and she's conclusively walked out of his life for good (not even came to see him for the very last time, when he needed her most). And also, girl can kill him, good to stay on her good side. There is no Gilina sweetness in her, at all. PK Tech Girl Crichton would annoy her and be intimidated to be with her, not so much Crichton of that s2 ep arc. But interestingly, that is the last time he even looks at another woman, no matter the circumstances. Once Aeryn and he admit their love to each other at the end of S2/beginning of S3, that is it. Even at the second part of S3, when Aeryn is off with Talyn-Crichton, Moya-Crichton goes deep into his obsession with wormholes, not any girls at all, and he is just as obsessed with Aeryn as ever. Even after the end of S3, the beginning of S4, even after he tells Aeryn "I can trust you with my life. But not my heart" and he locks himself away, he still does not look at anyone else. He cannot. And even the drugs cannot knock her out from his mind. Which is why his last non-Aeryn woman is Grayza, who rapes him while at the same time telling him if he gives her the wormhole stuff she will help him find Aeryn (OMG, that bit is seriously the worst in the whole scene). I think the darker progression of these women-others mirrors the darker and darker universe. OK, digression over. I find it interesting that in S1 we have a number of people (beings, whatever) whose life is affected, changed by Crichton and who are grateful for that and thank him for changing/opening/saving either explicitly, or it’s implied. But after S1 this slows to a trickle pretty fast and then stops almost entirely. Crichton is such an innately kind person, and one of the saddest things in the show is seeing this kindness leach away under the tortures (literal and figurative) he is subjected to. I find it so sad and so significant that in the S3 finale it’s Aeryn who brings up the fact that the command carrier has a lot of lives which John’s plan might end. Aeryn. Not John. She’s become more compassionate (she, who started out saying ‘I hate that word’) and he’s become much less. These are both reactions to their environment, to events they are in (When they initially meet, she is a product of an individuality-less, soulless scenario. Even if he is wrong in reading her at the very very first in Premiere during intros, he is not wrong in reading her potential, in recognizing she is a person, and even as early as Premiere she proves him right. I also love that for Crichton, she is always her own person, not a preconceived notion of what she should be. He loves her for being Aeryn, not for some idealized being in his head). And yet it is never completely suppressed, it is always there, however muted and downtrodden, however circumscribed. He had to jettison most of it in order to stay sane and to survive, but somewhere deep inside he is still the guy who, in a completely strange world, took the time to fix the eye-stalk of a mechanical critter thingy he didn’t know at all. And of course, part of the reason he jettisons it is also because whenever he tries to save someone or make it better, it often ends up making the situation worse. I am thinking for example of S3’s lovely ‘Different Destinations’ which turns a beloved sci-fi trope on its head and he has to live with it and he can barely bear it. And I love how the show never lets us forget the cost this takes on him, that he is not a power-hungry psychopath, a cavalier callous being only caring about his small group of friends. That coda to S4’s ‘We Are So Screwed’ where he is with Aeryn, and he breaks down, and he can’t help it, and he weeps for what he’d done, for what he almost did (and it’s going to be small fry in comparison with PKW) is just brilliant and heartbreaking and one of my favorite bits (and I love that she is there, and she silently comforts him, and he clutches her arm as a lifeline). And that is why I actually liked the drug storyline in S4. After all the stuff that Crichton been through, I am surprised he didn’t end up going on something earlier, just to deal with it all somehow (I love that the show brought up earlier that he has nightmares, feels tremendous guilt, and that was mid S2, I am sure they are much worse now). And it also made sense that when his number 1 obsession, Aeryn, told him to give it up, he did, as he’d pick her over anything. She’s his number 1 drug. Basically, he needs Aeryn desperately. She is what allows him to function, allows him to stay (relatively) sane, what holds him together. When he can’t have her, or doesn’t have her, he falls apart and needs something else to get through the days (wormholes in S3, lakka in S4). I do find it interesting that Crichton keeps his compassion, however tattered, but he develops absolute priorities, as a result of choices he shouldn’t have had to make. Most people don’t really analyze whether they will pick the woman they love or selling one’s soul and giving up something which earlier, to protect, you didn’t give up even when tortured or hunted or broken. They don’t have to. Crichton’s developed rigid priorities are a result of the environment where he had to confront those hierarchies in himself. Crichton’s earlier ‘purity’ and goodness and optimism exist in part because he is a product of a relatively sheltered life (compared to Uncharted Territories). But that early cleanness allows others to see a better or at least a different path for themselves and so they repay the favor later by pulling him out when he is on the brink of succumbing to all these horrors (which really do seem to be scarily disproportionately triggered at him). One of the things I love about Crichton is that even after he’s seen and dealt horrors, he has a certain moral absolutism to him (however broken it gets at times) and a pure refusal to give up, and strength even if only to make the least worst of two bad choices presented to him. Something untainted is always there, maybe a legacy of his initial idealism, and so he never breaks, not permanently, not irreparably, though he comes very very close. Throughout the show, even as that world bends and molds and twists him to its own parameters, he manages to make the world somewhat bend and mold and twist to himself. Do you know what I really really wish for John and Aeryn and the kid after the end of PKW? A few years of total peace, where they can just travel the space in Moya, and John can do his research, and be with Aeryn and watch their child grow, without having to worry about saving his and their lives every other day.

OK, these are getting epically long omg.

#farscape

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bpdanakins · 4 years ago

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i just infodumped to my friends about bpd anakin and i have No Regrets snakjdkajfsk

anyway, doth thee have any more bpd anakin (or just anakin in general) headcanons becuase i am living for this

I am So Sorry this took so long, but hopefully the length makes up for it. Thank you so much for sending this to me bc BPD!Anakin is my entire life. I could talk about it all day, every day.

I’d like to thank @apple-grass-and-smiles for helping me organize my Thoughts on all of this, prompting me to focus on certain things and giving me feedback in general too.

Okay, here goes:

Anakin fidgets!! I’m not even sure if this is a headcanon but if it is I will die on this hill. He can’t stay still for the life of him and doubly so when he’s anxious, nervous or Ready To Do Something Already.

We know Anakin can’t hold eye contact to save his life when he’s upset or insecure, but I can also see him having issues with touch when he’s upset, unless it’s from certain people only (Padmé always gets a pass, for example).

Anakin’s quick to let some small stuff go, but larger things people do that hurt him (whether intentionally or not) aren’t really ever forgotten, and he just kind of takes that in and suppresses it, until random moments when it pops up, he remembers, and it just hurts like it’s happening all over again. The people around him often have no idea what fully sets him off, bc to them, his reaction now seems out of nowhere while his mind’s still stuck on this other thing. - His reactions also seem sometimes like they’re Over The Top, but even just remembering past hurts can feel almost disabling at times. It’s worse when he ends up ruminating on it, because the hurt and feelings of betrayal just keep building up over and over until it almost blots everything else out.

When he’s happy or surrounded by those he loves, everyone kind of can feel it too, bc he’s just fuckoff powerful in the Force and esp other Force sensitives kind of gather around his space and just… his affection and excitement are literally infectious.

This probably runs closer to ADHD than BPD for sure, but get him talking about anything mechanical (robotics, engineering, racing, etc) and he will go from 0 to 100 so fast you’d get whiplash. No one minds though bc, as I said, his excitement is infectious and honestly those around him just adore listening to him go off even though half of it goes over their head. - Ahsoka may not ever get Gotta Go Fast, but she definitely loves it when he really talks her ear off about all this stuff, bc it makes her excited to learn and she picks up on all of it easily. (There’s a part of her that wants to emulate him and she does def look up to him obviously.) - We see it with Obi-Wan, but people love to use his love of all things mechanical as a way to distract him from things that upset him. It doesn’t always work but they try.

With Obi-Wan, he ends up on the side of Anakin’s splitting like, all the time. And unfortunately sometimes Obi-Wan can’t tell that Anakin’s lashing out not because of something Obi-Wan’s actually done, but bc Anakin’s young and Obi-Wan’s the figure he can project a lot of his frustrations on. - It can lead Obi-Wan to being confused and hurt sometimes, bc he doesn’t always understand Anakin’s thought processes when this happens, and it definitely sometimes cuts him to the core. On the reverse side, though Anakin might not always say it to his face, Obi-Wan definitely can overhear him at times when Anakin’s ready to 1v1 anyone who even so much as makes a frowny face about Obi-Wan, which helps Obi-Wan remember that Anakin does love him too, actually. - It ends up being one of the points of frisson between Anakin and Mace, bc Anakin can’t read body language perfectly, especially when it comes to feelings of abandonment or someone seemingly not loving who Anakin loves to the same degree. Mace has a drier sense of humor at times and defs has a more resting frowny face, and this rankles Anakin at times bc he can’t always tell when Mace is just chilling vs being disappointed, and while Anakin will take it all personally, he ALSO takes any perceived criticism to those he loves personally too. - Both Mace and Obi-Wan don’t get this bc they have a perfectly fine relationship. Anakin’s just Like That. - (And super overprotective of people’s perceptions of Obi-Wan. Anakin will go off about Obi-Wan being mean and all that, but fuck you and your entire family tree if you ever even think Obi-Wan’s anything short as the most amazing Jedi to ever Jedi.)

Everybody and their mother can see the pedestal Anakin puts Padmé on, and surprisingly she rarely is on the end of his splitting. When he does, he just internalizes it bc he can’t stand the idea that he’s somehow seen her in a wrong light, or he feels guilty for getting angry with her. - He also defines a huge chunk of his life around loving her, making her his center for a lot of his decisions and reactions, so when they’re off, his whole world seems backwards. It makes him Really uncomfortable and unsure. He gets panicky and upset and often people have no idea what the cause is so they just end up a lil panicky in return. - He tends to take it out on others, by doing an exercise or by disappearing to fiddle with something. - Pads has an easier time recognizing Anakin’s emotional needs, bc in some ways they’re the same as hers. She’s good at reaching out to him, comforting him and reassuring him of her love. And in turn, he like, never fucking shuts up about how much he loves her, and those moments are what make her feel so special around him. Being loved by Anakin makes someone feel important and even get tingly, bubbly happy feelings, because it’s hard to doubt it sometimes. - There’s a part of her that sometimes worries about how Intense he is, but, like I said, when his positive intense emotions are focused on you, it feels wonderful. And he’s genuinely super sweet and gentle, and she appreciates that, when she tells him to back off about something, he’ll listen to her wishes. (I’m using movie Anakin as my base here bc TCW!Anakin in this regard is just…. bad y’all lmao)

Anakin’s anxious about Ahsoka All The Time. He’s afraid he’s a bad teacher, he’s afraid he’ll mess her up somehow, he’s afraid he’ll hurt her or she’ll get hurt, and that’s why he can’t stand the idea sometimes of her being on her own. It’s not a lack of trust in her abilities, but because he feels responsible for her, and that’s why he’s always ready to put himself between her and literally anything that could potentially hurt her. (Even if it’s not a physical threat.) - There are times she finds this amusing and times this makes her angry, but mostly she is long suffering. There are times she appreciates it though, bc she’s still a kid and isn’t always sure which way is up, especially when in a war. Anakin is often a cornerstone for her, and though she’d literally NEVER admit it, his overprotectiveness can sometimes be a reassurance. She knows she can handle herself just fine, but when she has an inkling of doubt, she’ll remind herself that Anakin will be there, and then go and take care of the problem herself. - She doesn’t always get his moments where he’s not always falling over himself to talk Obi-Wan up or go out of his way to sass at him. To her, they have a wonderful relationship and she rarely notices when Obi-Wan might say something that pokes at Anakin wrong, so she often just winds up ???? when Anakin is huffy or annoyed with her grandmaster. - She sees Anakin’s anger issues a little more easily than others, and she worries about it but always brushes it off or downplays it, bc she always sees why he’s angry, and also always just assumes (like everyone else) that he can Handle It. - Anakin’s recklessness and impulsivity are some of her favourite things about being his padawan. He’s literally never boring to be around, and Ahsoka needs that sort of excitement to sometimes push aside the knowledge that she’s literally in a warzone. Anakin’s also really good at doing this intentionally; he’s literally always worrying after her, and all he wants to do is take care of those he loves and make them happy, so sometimes he’ll be Extra just to get under her skin or distract her and honestly this is the basis of where their playful competitions always come from.

If Ahsoka is long suffering, Rex is doubly so. Sometimes it’s all he can do to keep up with Anakin and Ahsoka, but he appreciates Anakin “thinking outside the box”. He also appreciates knowing that Anakin is just as loyal to him and his men as he himself is (well… Anakin is until he isn’t lmao) - Rex, like Pads, is really good at picking up Anakin’s moods and even trains of thought, so he’s always able to work around that, or even see where Anakin’s mind is going when coming up with a plan. They make a really good team bc while Anakin can jump from one idea to another without them seemingly correlated, Rex immediately follows Anakin’s leaps and they just end up in sync. - That being said, Anakin can be really confusing at times. His moods are often so all over the place, that Rex generally has no idea what tf is going on. He deals with it by learning to be calm when Anakin’s unable to, and just ride out Anakin’s worst moods until they pass by, learning not to let it all phase him. Anakin lowkey hates it when he’s upset, but once the worst of it passes, he really appreciates that Rex will just… not press like Obi-Wan, or balances out the moments Anakin’s mind is so cluttered by instead just keeping a good focus on things.

Probably everyone’s most baffling symptom of Anakin’s is his paranoia. Obi-Wan kind of sees it the most, because Anakin is always testy with the Council and often feels put on the spot, dismissed and looked down upon. To everyone else, they don’t get where Anakin’s ideas come from, bc everything seems chill on their end. His fretting about others’ well-being is straightforward enough, but his instant panic-turned-anger shift when he receives any criticism (especially the perceived type) always gives people whiplash. It’s hard to keep up with, hard to see what it was that got to him so much, and hard to know how to help (particularly when they’re worried that trying to help him will feel like “taking sides”). - Ahsoka takes Anakin’s POV of the Council pretty easily, at least when it comes to him. This is mostly bc she’s not there when there’s a meeting or tension around them, nor was she there when Anakin first arrived, so she just assumes they must genuinely often have issues with him too. She doesn’t see it to the extent Anakin does though, but she recognizes that sometimes he seems to blow things out of proportion when he’s upset, and figures it’ll just blow over once he’s calmed down. - Pads, on the other hand, is always kind of aware of Anakin’s fears of losing her. He often not-so-subtly looks for reassurances that she loves him and won’t leave him, that she’s feeling alright or not angry/annoyed with him. She chalks it up to his trauma with his mother (and she’s partially right), so even when sometimes it gets on her nerves that he seems to doubt her so much, she tries to remind herself of that and let it go.

Those closest to him can pick up that Anakin tends to see the negative in things, and is generally really hard on himself. They try to help out by giving praise where it’s due and just overall Being There, but it’s Rough to know they often don’t get through. (Palps, on the other hand, knows how to weaponize this.)

The saddest part is that I don’t think anyone once thought Anakin was Seriously Ill, partly out of ignorance, partly bc they assumed it had to do with his age/upbringing, and partly bc, eventually, everyone was dealing with trauma and even if someone wanted to send Anakin back to the Temple to have a nap or something, they legit couldn’t bc there was a war going on and he also would never have tolerated it at that point in time. - Obi-Wan’s the one who worries about all of this the most, because he’s always felt such a huge responsibility for Anakin and loves him a lot, he’s just never fully been able to understand how to get on the same wavelength as Anakin. - Anakin, too, actually never fully figures out that there is something Going On. Everything’s always overwhelming him and even though he prefers doing things at 100mph, sometimes it seems like there is Too Much going on, and even during peace times it just felt like he couldn’t keep up with everything. He hates internal reflection but also can’t stop overthinking about everything, and so he just ruminates and goes in circles and often just ends up going nowhere when it comes to dealing with things. He tries his hardest all the time, he is ALWAYS trying, but doing stupid stunts, fighting droids, making robots and speeding everywhere all the time is truthfully only a bandaid. - Being surrounded by those he adores and receiving affection from them/seeing them happy boosts his mood a lot but he doesn’t have enough self-awareness to guess at why his happier moods just won’t last. - Sometimes he can figure out when he’s being irrational and then just takes it out on himself, which only exacerbates his bad episodes.

Palpatine doesn’t help. He’s abusive, manipulates Anakin all the time and is the Worst and definitely makes everything Anakin is struggling with harder and I think we should all just punt him into a sun thank you this isn’t a headcanon I just want everyone to know how much I hate him

#this is like... super long im sorry lmao #and it's probably a bit all over the place anyways #long post #also idr much about mace's characterization so i'm Pretty sure he has a dry sense of humour but idr so lmao forgive that #borderline anakin skywalker #also a lil bit of #adhd anakin skywalker #i focused a bit on his bpd + his relationships here #but if there was something else you'd have preferred my ideas on please lmk #or even if this was remotely close to what you wanted in general #star wars #anakin headcanons #this is my first time doing a like... headcanon list or just some rambling list of ideas so skjlkjsd rip me #gray-does-stuff #ask

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goodguydotmp3 · 4 years ago

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two questions: why don’t you like harry and do you really think harry villanized the weed video or do you think that was the people attempting to court him (azoffs)

Whew, this is a long one folx!

Why don’t you like Harry [Styles]?

Let me preface this response by saying that I’m a pretty new “fan” if one can still call me that. I got into the One Direction fandom in the summer of last year, and much of my opinions of the boys where shaped by fan reactions. After gathering more and more information however, I realized that the fandom and I were wrong about some things, and over hyping others.

Still, it wasn’t until this year that I actually broke out of the Harry-centric bubble to realize that the shady goings on where much worse than I originally thought. Add to this my realization that Harry’s music really doesn’t withstand the test of time, and that his persona is pretty Stagnant, and I’ve come to feel rather bamboozled.

Of course I know that the entire point of his PR team is to sway public opinion of him one way, and if I ate it up that was part of the plan. That doesn’t mean I have to like it. It also doesn’t mean I feel any less hurt about it. It also doesn’t mean that I like when other people fawn over him, as quite a lot of what I’m going to say has been public knowledge, and some of it before I was even a fan.

A. Music

Actually getting to a big part of the problem here, his music isn’t good. Well, not long term like I said in the preface. He doesn’t really have much of a vocal range despite being a singer for more than ten years. He does not care and acts like he does, often leading to him sounding like he’s screaming instead of singing. He’s lyrics are boring and flat, and his melodies are fine, they just don’t make up for his unmemorable lyrics. I personally think that the cause is him more heavily relying on song writers to fill in more in more, but that’s mostly because I don’t want to believe that the same person who wrote Happily and Olivia also wrote At the Dining Table and Treat People With Kindness, because that would just mean he’s getting worse or putting forth less effort.

Of course one could argue that I’m not a professional, I don’t have the necessary Jargon to correctly critique, and I’m no longer a singer so I can’t even do what he does. But to that I say fuck off. I know what sounds good! I know what I like!

Even more than that though, If you bought a product (non food), and you could only use that product for the first two weeks you bought it, you’d say it was a shit product! You’d scream from the rooftops that no one should ever buy this product because it’s crap! Well guess what? I pre-ordered Fine Line just to listen for two weeks and never pick it up again except for golden, she’s a funky tune every couple months.

Besides the test of time, there is still the subject of actual talent/listenability if you will. I feel there’s four main categories when I listen to music that makes it worth listening to

1.Amazing voice

2.Awesome lyrics

3.Funky/ cool ass melody/Beat

4.Catchy as hell

Now, a song doesn’t need to be all four, however the more they have the more likely I am to like the song. Also, I’ve said “main categories” because I’ve definitely had songs were I just through the beat drop was cool, or maybe the bridge was sick as hell, or maybe I just liked the pacing or the way the singer/singers stressed a note. Alternatively there is a sweet spot for me of super depressing lyrics but a melody/ that makes you want to dance. See: most of After Laughter by Paramore, Lola By Mika. But in general, those four usually make me love a song long term.

If it’s an album, it usually Just has to sound like it belongs on the same album/ tell a story. Like I really don’t like albums that sound like it’s just a playlist of songs personally. I should be able to listen to a song and go “oh yeah, that’s off --- album” or I didn’t like the album as a whole. An album is a bit like an outfit to me. It’s not going to be all tops, nor does it need to be monochromatic, but it does need to go together

For Example, I love Four as an album. I thought it was amazing. I still hate Spaces and Illusion. I hate both of their melodies, I don’t like the Illusion intro, I’m not to keen on those lyrics, and they’re definitely not catchy, I skip every time.

So taking that logic to Harry’s music, I think HS1 works very well as an album, almost all of the songs sound like they’re supposed to be there. And I hate every song but Kiwi. The lyrics are boring/don’t make a ton of sense, the melodies definitely don’t make up for that, he doesn’t have the range, and none of them are catchy! And then you get to Kiwi and she’s got that vibe you know? She’s a pop punk bop and I cannot fucking believe that Harry has one pop punk bop among unmemorable pop rock album.

Going to Fine line, It’s not as great as an album. There are some songs that don’t really feel like they fit? Like just going through the album, cherry doesn’t have any business being there? Like the lyrics fit sure, but what is that weird intro and outro? It probably would have been fine If the song didn’t have those two, but having them there upset the pace a bit I felt. And then there was Treat People With Kindness, which was really Jarring and doesn’t feel like it belongs on the album at all? It actually feels like it’s trying to be Kiwi - it’s loud and garish, and the lyrics are trying to be carefree, but! It just doesn’t work! TPWK sounds like Hippie music! Kiwi sounds like Brendon Urie could sing it and people would be like “good ol Panic!”. And then the album goes back down into Fine line the song, which again is Jarring because you’ve had this TPWK monstrosity right before it.

Then, looking at the overarching theme of his music, It’s whiny piss baby music He hates to take responsibility for his actions! It’s all in his lyrics! And don’t get me wrong, I love Honest lyrics, but not if the person is an asshole! LIke I fucking hate confessions by Usher specifically becasue he’s talking about how much he’s a piece of shit in the most whiny and piss baby way, making it all about him and no the people he hurt. I also really hate that one song that Zayn did with Usher and Chris Brown, because you have these awful men completely misunderstanding what it means to write a love song, and then you have Zayn at the very end all like “actually I really am in love tho…” Esp Chris browns verse! It boils down to “Hey I know I was a asshole seven billion times but I miss you tho :(“ GIRL BYE!

Harry sounds the exact same though, Except he can’t even blame himself for his own mistakes, and just wades through self pity about how the object of his affection won’t love him even though he didn’t even do anything except it wasn’t his fault and why are you still mad it wasn’t even his fault and he was young and reckless and drunk and horny. Like??? WRITE A NEW SONG TAYLOR SWIFT 2.0! There’s only so much you can repackage the same narrative before it becomes stale no Cinderella does not count keep that shit coming. And It really jumps out in his writing, even through 1d, although I will say there were some catchy beats, and awesome lines to keep him afloat back then. Although wtf was Walking in the Wind??? Choke!

Then there are the melodies I’m talking post wondee here which often give this 70’s pop rock vibe. Which fine I guess, it’s his brand, but that doesn’t make it interesting. Or new. Or fresh. Or an interesting take.

Now I completely understand relying on nostalgia to boost people’s opinion, but you could at leas have the decency to actually have good music. For Example, Miss you by Louis Tomlinson has a very distinctive pop rock feel, but it’s also an amazing song. Great lyrics, amazing voice, catchy liddle diddy that happens to be reminiscent of that 2005- 2010 punk pop/emo pop feel. Sour diesel has that like,,,basey 90s pop feel, and it fucking works with the lyrics, and of course his voice is beautiful. When Walls dropped and Lou put out that playlist of songs that were an inspiration, you can hear the influences when you listen to the album, but they’re also really good songs in their own right, with amazing lyrics, and Louis’ distinctive voice. Comparing that to Harry, it seems like he’s mostly relying on people’s nostalgia rather than actually good music.

Okay so this last point I’m making on music is a little petty but it’s been like a week and I’m still pissed about it so I’m saying it now. Someone said that Harry Styles is the best pop rock artist right now???? Just admit that you don’t listen to pop rock tf. Louis Tomlinson is right there. Brendon Urie is right there. Mika is right there. Haley Williams is right there. Janell Monae is right there. I don’t listen to a lot of pop rock lol but i feel my point has been made

B. Public Persona

He get’s so much clout! SO MUCH CLOUT! For doing the bare minimum (this is not specifically about the fandom, that’s for later)! People will write all these glowing reviews of him for him??? Being polite??? Like okay and? Just because a person is polite doesn’t mean they’re fucking Jesus??? There’s a million and one stories so i’m not fucking looking them up but there’s the pizza story and the fish story and the plane story and the snl story and the Stormzy story and the WS story on and on and on! Stop giving this man brownie points for basic human decency. “I didn’t expect him to be like that!” okay is that because of their perception of what a rock star is supposed to be like? Because in that case we need to start holding people accountable for being assholes. Or is it because he seems like an asshole. Cause valid.

I also don’t like him leaning so heavily on the queer image thing. Like! If that’s how he likes to express himself, Fine, But so much of it is just...so manufactured! And I Know I’ve heard people say oh well he wore the one rainbow on his lapel that one time or he wore the shirt or he wore the Keith Harring.

1. That Rainbow pin is sus as hell I don’t care what ya’ll say It absolutely screams set up, if he wanted to not be seen he would have not been seen

2. That goes for literally every other time. I can’t believe it’s not a set up to push a queer image. (that he profits from!)

3. If he actually did his homework on Keith Harring he’d know that the man was a predator, and he wouldn’t have worn those shirts. It seems so performative! To add to that, does he know now? If so, why isn’t he using his platform to correct his mistake? Why didn’t he come out and let people know not to buy Harring’s stuff??? He knows the pull he has! He absolutely could have been like “I’ve made a mistake, if you are looking for queer artists to support, here’s some” But he fucking doesn’t

4. To add on to that last part, It is actually sus that he gets to profit off of this queer image, and yet the only queer voices that he’s propping up are white gays. And then not even directly? Not a “queer artists, esp queer artists of color are important and need their voices boosted because they are the back bone of society” but this wink nod type of deal, where again, he mainly boosts white gays.like??? One queer black woman that doesn’t work for the Azoffs, and then a bunch of white gays. Like?? That’s not racist to anyone else???????Just me? okay.

Now from a professional point of view, it’s even worse. I’m not saying that artists can’t be campy or blurr gender lines, or imply that they ‘re queer subtly. But I think it’s fucking disrespectful to play both ends. Like, he profits off of using the queer image, all while Dancing around the subject, but then on the back end he never says that Homophobes/Transphobes aren’t allowed in his fandom. He gives this empty ass tpwk and then washes his hands of it.

Don’t get me wrong, I am always upset when people who have lots of queerphobes in their fandom bullying and harassing the actual queer people never say anything to let queerphobes know they’re unwelcome (clearly money is better than morals) but for me it’s an extra kick to the gut for it to literally profit Harry to seem queer. Look at that time that gay company sold out shirts in less than an hour,because harry was wearing it and tell me people aren’t throwing money at him because they feel he’s queer.

C. Fashion

This one is a really rough one for me because this is partially what drew me into Harry in the first place. But he’s really not all that in terms of fashion. He’s expensive certainly, but sometimes, the things that are more expensive are worse. Even When He’s not looking like a grandparent out on the town, his style is very dated, and yet he gets paraded around like he’s the freshest new thing?? Like who is his team paying of for him to get that many articles about how he’s fashion’s biggest star. And the thing is, his style is even dated for the mainstream. There’s already a post about how he copies prominent pop/pop rock stars of the 70s, which means that his style is 50 years old for the mainstream. Now don’t get me wrong, I think it’s totally fine if you’re addicted to seventies wear. I don’t think he should be heralded as this huge fashion star if his wardrobe is this dated

Even more than that. Gucci???? The Gucci with a history of Racism?? The Gucci with the child labor??? The Gucci with the 14 hour days Gucci??? Ugly ass Gucci????? Soulja Boy don’t even fuck with Gucci no more and he fuck with Gucci since like 2007. (although that was because of the racism, not cause it’s ugly)

I think that bothers me the most though. Like it’s not enough to exploit people, you also have to be tacky ugly and expensive???? For what??? @Gucci cease to exist please.

If Harry wants to be tacky ugly and expensive, that’s of course his rights to do so! But don’t act like he’s at the very pinnacle of fashion every time he does.

I’m actually always very conflicted about that. I personally prefer a style that’s very loud and campy and avant garde but like,,,,that ain’t it. Maybe it’s something you got it or ya don’t??? Like for example Billy Porter could wear a trashbag and make it work. The expensive sweaters and the slacks? The suits? Not a good look on one Harry Styles. Maybe it’s because they’re expensive sweaters and slacks and expensive suits. What are you, Ted from accounting??? Grow up.

D. Treat People With Kindness

Ugh this is the thing that pisses me off like the second to most. This phrase is so fucking empty. You could not have made up a more corporate mandated phrase if you fucking tried. It stands for nothing! Just like him!

Let’s break it down. “Treat people with kindness” is, at face value, a call to action. It’s asking you to do something. But it doesn’t actually tell you what to do!! So it’s pretty inoffensive! You don’t actually have to change your behavior in anyway for two main reasons:

1. What the hell is Kindness??? This phrase never actually says what it is??? It’s just this short little punchy thing that assumes you know what kindness is! What if you didn’t actually know? What if you have differing ideals of what is considered kindness? I mean to my mother, Misgendering me is kindness, but I don’t think that’s kindness. To my father, not letting his children have autonomy is kindness, but I don’t find that kind. And yet they could both use that phrase and feel confident that they go around treating people with kindness. After all they cooked dinner didn’t they? They smiled at Janice from public relations didn’t they? That’s kindness right?

2. It also assumes you know what “people” are. Queer people are people. Queerphobes don’t consider queer people, people. Racists aren’t going to consider some people, people. So they can continue their harassment and dehumanization of them and still be treating people with kindness, because they never harmed actual people (to them)

E. Harry bots

Bitch?? Corporate spies?? Tf ??? That’s not weird to ya’ll ?? I think the thing that shocked me more than someone from Colombia records admitting that he manufactures the hype around people signed to Colombia, is the fact that the Fandom been knew!!!! Ya’ll been knew and ya’ll wasn’t gon tell me???????? I just found out last week wtf????????

Another thing I don’t like about them Harry bots, is it’s one thing to hype up Harry, but why tf do they need to shit on the other boys??? Is it because they’re more talented, good looking, and charming??? How about you get good!!!! I esp hate that it’s usually Louis. What is Corporate’s obsession with putting Louis down like? What a bunch of fucking weirdos?? It’s not enough to be a Harry fan and live up his ass, I gotta hate Louis too?? You lost yo damn mind. If you reading this and you a spy? Die.

F. Capitalism

Honestly that should be the end of it but here the fuck we go I guess. Now I get that there is going to be some capitalism involved when you get music, especially mainstream music, there are tones of articles out there with people who used to be in the industry telling you about how fucking awful it is, all in the pursuit of money. (Which isn’t fucking real by the way! We made it up! People out here getting traumatized! Belittled! Bullied! Married off! So some corporation can make all the money! The Imaginary Credits! That we made up! I hate it here!)

But it’s another fucking thing to participate in a capitalist system? He invested into that one sleep app, even going to do one of the voice sessions (So you could have Harry Styles themed sleep paralysis) and you pay for that! He makes money off that! It’s not enough that you buy his mediocre music or his ugly ass merch, you also have to give him money through the sleep paralysis app.

Then there was that Google Camp for Rich People Only! I don’t even want to fucking hear that it was on Climate Change oh wow all the rich people took helicopters and Yachts to a resort with manicured lawns??? To talk about how they treat the environment? That’s not at all Counter intuitive! Not at all for show! Fucking disgusting.

Oh and the Covid Shirt! Really bitch??? You need to Profit off a deadly pandemic? Are you profiting off of AIDS next you fucking bastard. And he can of course get a tax write of for his “ charitable donation” fuck off.

G. Racism

This! This is the thing that gets me the most! YA’LL CAN EXCUSE RACISM???

No, I’m not talking about the Native American Headdress thing, that was plenty despicable on it’s own, No I’m talking about the on going racism. The whole, using black people for clout and then dropping them and never returning the favor when they sing his praises thing. Specifically I’m thinking of Sis the activist, Stormzy, and Lizzo.

The Lizzo thing pisses me off the most actually. I think it’s very fucking convenient that Harry started taking interest in Lizzo after there was uproar from black fans noting his hypocrisy of performing for Pepsi (Notoriously racist) and Having BLM sticker on his guitar. So he shows up at one of her concerts dressed like a senior citizen that got lost on the way to the retirement home bathroom. She looked fucking amazing and he couldn’t put forth the effort to at least not look senile. Then there was the covering of her songs, and then there was the cuddling up with her at the awards show. Funny how I haven’t seen any interaction after the fact! And Of course everyone forgot about the Pepsi concert! Fuck all the way off!!

Also! Are we just never going to talk about the fact that he didn’t comment on the blm protests earlier this year until his team could gauge whether or not it would be profitable to do so by DATA MINING HIS FAN BASE???? And then when he actually did he got the most praise for it, truly fucking hate it here. Also when he marched with those protesters he made sure we knew it was him. There were posts flouting around everywhere on how to best cover up to make yourself completely unrecognizable should you wind up on camera or fucking worse, get attacked by the police. Funny how Close Sprouse could follow the advice and not Harry? Also supper funny how he got the hell out of dodge before things got super bad and I have not heard anything on the matter since. Guess what Harry??? We’re still out here fighting for the rights to exist! Still wanna have a photo op while our own government tries to squash us with force????? This is like that Jenner Pepsi ad but with sunglasses and a pandemic.

H. Fandom

I think I would hate him less if I didn’t have to hear about him every hour of everyday. Stop Hyping this man so much. Even after unfollowing and blocking a bunch of Harries and Larries he’s all across my dash. And twitter. And insta. KURTIS CONNER FUCKING LIKES HIM I JUST WANTED CRACK CONTENT AND NOW LOOK.

I. Conclusion.

After writing all this I think the running theme is that Harry Styles isn’t even a person, he’s a brand. I do not like or trust brands! And I definitely don’t like being advertised to! Just like It’s fake as fuck when Absolut is all about queer rights, it’s fake as fuck when Harry does it too. Just like I know Target doesn’t actually care about Black lives, I know Harry doesn’t either. People are always like “oh he’s so nice!” no! He’s polite! There’s a difference. Zayn Is a truly kind person. Liam is a truly kind person. Louis is a truly kind person. It shines though so brightly all the time, and yet people are really out here worshiping the Brand Harry Styles.

Do I think It was Harry or The Azoffs throwing Zouis under the bus.

Truly doesn’t matter! Whichever one did it, Harry was totally fine with it! Which tells me that he doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. He’ll go along with anything as long as it gets him to the top, and that’s fucked up on one million and one levels

#hazza curly mchazzerson #This is like 4 thousand words #Have fun #Harry Styles

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konaizumi · 4 years ago

Text

A Tale of a Thousand Stars ep 6 thoughts/reaction

the juxtaposition of the kites vs the cars, and what really makes the kites more fun is that its’ group activity whereas he’s alone with the cars

god, phupha is so fucking in love, i love how explicitly clear their affection for each other made even if they have a hard time saying out loud

i wanted nam to scold tian a bit more but im also glad that the scene was pretty soft bc i feel like tian would prob respond better to gentleness and if the dr had been really harsh that would’ve just made tian feel worse

but i love the conflict in this scene bc he knows dr nam is prob right but he can’t express the entirety of why he needs to be there and why he can’t return to his old life

phupha sensing that tian doesn’t really want to talk about what happened and not pressuring him with questions even tho he clearly wants to ask

the way tian’s voice cracks a bit when he’s talking about torfun

poor longtae tho finding out the news in that way

i’ve been waiting since ep 1 for the scene of tian braiding the girls’ hair

kinda torn bc i love the character growth of tian realizing that his actions have consequences that he cant solve with his dad’s money but at the same time it’s very frustrating to watch

not phupha being jealous over tul

poor tul must be so confused

phupha not being able to hide his smile when he smells tian’s hand

“it smells nice” the sachet or his hand

i am living for the longtae x tian friendship

tian lowkey trying to flirt his way into selling the sachets, then using longtae to flirt his way into selling the sachets

okay but the parallel between the kids asking about torfun when tian first got there to the kids asking about tian when he’s gone

character A asking children what character B thinks about them is such a high quality trope

also the kids asking phupha to ask tian to stay is so pure, also them lowkey threatening phupha so that he wont scare tian away

also how much does tian gush complain about phupha to the children lol

hey what is the ring that phupha wears on a necklace?

the image of phupha with the children climbing on him

tian “he’s a hot guy you know,” referring to how popular longtae was with the shopkeepers and phupha misunderstanding

i also really liked the jealousy for longtae this ep bc it wasn’t necessarily targeted at longtae (like it wasn’t personal) it was more the fact that it played into phupha’s existing insecurities that tian would be better suited with someone his own age that he connects with, plus longtae goes to college in the city and can relate more to tian in that sense

cant tell if tian is actually that dense and didn’t realize phupha meant himself when he said he wasnt alone or if he was just teasing phupha

i love how much screentime the children had this episode, they’re so precious

lol tian realizing that tourists would go nuts for bags with names of poor children who made them

im so proud of tian for coming up with this idea and helping the villagers

phupha’s cute little thumbs up

phupha’s smirk when tian turns around, he’s so proud of himself for his little joke

someone needs to make a crack video using that audio that’s like “a love story told entirely in stares...and more stares...and even more stares”

god tho, just they way they stare at each other and start smiling then start laughing, it’s so sweet and intimate

tian and longtae: *discussing serious things like torfun* phupha: really? flirting? right in front of my salad?

phupha is one of those rare well written tsundere characters

phupha getting excited about another date with tian then disappointed when tian isn’t coming with him

phupha is such a child and i love him

sakda need to leave tian tf alone

we love some product placement (but i will give them a pass bc it was pretty cute)

i am also living for phupha x nam friendship, that whole interaction where phupha is trying to stop nam from embarrassing him but trying to do it discretely so no one sees

kinda random but i enjoy the little details like the signs on all the boxes with the sachets were written by different people bc there’s several different handwritings

the fucking fondness in tian’s gaze literally every time he looks at phupha this ep

tian is literally telling you to tell him your feelings phupha, please just end all our suffering

also the way phupha subtly alludes to some of his insecurities and tian shuts it down saying he likes the way phupha is

phupha, are you really the same person who blatantly smelled tian’s hand then gave him that hand massage earlier?

okay but the way tian gets so hopeful when phupha asks him to stay and he keeps trying to get phupha to say he wants him to stay

yod, i love you so much, but i really want to strangle you right now

but that scene really was so good, earth and mix did a really good job bc they conveyed so much without words

but damn i really did think they were gonna get somewhere this ep (but no worries bc they’re going somewhere next ep)

“they will know that your heart has come back to them” is such a poetic line and i really do like the meaning behind it, i just wish tian didn’t mean it in such a self-deprecating way

not me crying at the way phupha cuddles the fucking tea sachet

tian, don’t run into the fucking burning building! think about your heart! think about my heart!

but poor tian bc this building is really his new home as much as his hut is and to see it being burned down

but damn this is really the third time he’s collapsed in phupha’s arms

at least they include a cute fluffy scene at the end of each ep to make up for the angsty cliffhangers

where do i even start with the preview for next week

i really hope they kiss but im worried tian will ruin the mood by bringing up torfun (but also i hope he does finally talk about torfun and get it out there already)

i really can’t wait for next week

anyways, this was such a good ep (like always), quality character development, quality phutian moments, we’re really starting to get into the conflict now

#1000 stars #atots #a tale of a thousand stars #atots spoilers #1000 stars spoilers #1000 stars ep 6 #konaizumi reactions

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