#way too much fucking free time and i spend it all online .

[skyburger]

best day of my life was when vimms lair let other regional versions of games be on the site u have no idea how happy i was. like yes finally i dont have to send people digging through a huge archive.org dump of DS games so they can play professor layton & not suffer thru lukes american dub voice 😭

[bunnisari]

omg can you do connie or ony with a loser/geeky girlfriend? like she spends most of her time in her room reading, hyperfixating on weird things, and she barely has any friends.😭😭 you can add nsfw if u want <333

i actually love this and ony would most def have a gf like this

✩

you’re his lil “antisocial pookie bear” (he called you that)

he loves how whenever he’s telling you about his friends or something connie did he always has to remind who he’s talking about

like he’s gonna gatekeep you all the way

when his friends find ur socials he lowk salty

he doesn’t mind keeping you a lil secret

he still rejects every girl that comes up to him and makes it very known that he has a gf but when people ask where she at “Not yo business lil bro”

He prefers to keep you out of all his problems.

You like your drama free life and the moment you pop out with him he just knows every nigga gonna want you all of a sudden and girls are gonna start drama 🧍🏽‍♀️

You’re fine as hell so he expects it

He’ll post pics on social media tho with both of your faces covered (who doesn’t love a secret relationship)

You stay at home most of the time so Ony’s always coming over to keep you company

He’s really your bestfriend tho

You have a couple online friends but that’s it

He’ll binge watch any new anime or movie series you’re obsessing over

There was a time where you were hyperfixating over food plushies and anytime Ony was out at the store he’d always get you one

Ofc his friends always ask him why he’s buying weird looking mugs or plushies “Stay out my business”

( that’s just ony. stay out his business.)

He’d also go to Barnes & Nobles with you, buying you all the new books you want

His favorite thing to do with you is lay down and cuddle while you read to him (healing his inner child fr)

Now, he likes to be a sub to you. Or atleast a switch

You just drive him so crazy like he wants to eat you alive you’re so cute and quiet and-

He’s lowkey shocked to find out you a lil horny freak fuck (you be reading too much smut. yeah i know you do)

You gave him kinks he never knew he had

“F-fuck baby” Ony groaned out as you glided your tongue on the underside of his dick. Your previous orgasms coating him all over. You can hear the metal of his handcuffs clinking. “Stay still” You taunt him, taking him fully in your mouth. You can hear him wince and his thighs shake. “M’cumming” He mutters out. Your eyes widen in shock as you feel his cum shoot down your throat, fuck already?

[ericshoney]

Quiet Girl ~ Brothers!Sturniolo Triplets

Summary: Your a quiet person, sometimes opting to not talk at all, but your brothers check in on you regularly.

Warnings: usual swearing, nicknames

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You loved getting the chance to hang out with your brothers, either it being in Boston, or LA. Spending free time with them was special, especially since they were busy with their careers.

You were also very similar to your brothers, many fans compared you to each of them regularly, the only big difference was how quiet you were. You were a lot quieter than Matt, sometimes didn't even talk at all, but that didn't stop your brothers from caring or checking up on you.

You were sat at the kitchen table doing some of your online school work. After Nick, Matt and Chris got more popular online, you started to struggle in school, people harassing you, so your parents decided online would be best and that way you could visit the guys in LA too, which you were doing right now.

"Hey kid, you okay?" Chris asked as he walked in.

"Yeah." You replied shortly.

"Whatcha up to?" He asked, taking a seat next to you.

"Work." You answered.

"Need any help?" He offered.

You nodded as he tried his best to help you. Matt and Nick both walked in from their rooms and laughed slightly, seeing you hitting Chris' arm.

"See this is going well." Matt mumbled.

"I was trying to help!" Chris exclaimed.

"How about you take a break and we go out?" Nick suggested, gently closing your laptop.

"Okay, where?" You asked quietly.

"Where do you want to go?" Matt asked.

"Um, happy ice!" You exclaimed, making them smile. Your shouting was like Matt's regular voice.

You all then got into the car, Matt driving to happy ice. You sat quietly just enjoying the view, Chris and Nick singing to the music from the AUX, which made you smile.

After getting through the LA traffic, you all arrived at your destination. You jumped out the car and walked besides Nick, listening him rant on about the last time he came here.

"And the worker was so fucking rude! Like he clearly had a people problem." He rambled on, making you giggle.

"What flavour do you want, sweetheart?" Matt asked you as you walked in.

"Umm." You started, looking at all the flavours, but it was slightly overwhelming. You knew your brothers wouldn't make you order for yourself, but too many good choices was hard.

"That one." You finally said, pointing to your favourite flavour.

Matt nodded and told Nick, who was ordering for all four of you. You stood behind him, just looking around. You then felt a tap on your shoulder and looked up to see Chris.

"You okay?" He questioned.

You nodded and gave him a smile, to which he returned, before you all got your sweet treats. You walked around eating them, the guys talking about random stuff as you listened in. You were happy to spend some time with your brothers, even if you didn't add to the conversation much.

[persephonesdreams21]

NSFW Alphabet with Kyle

A/N: So like, I’ve had this in my drafts forever and I finally got around to tidying it up(sort of) and finishing it. In a perfect world where I had free time, I’d love to do headcannons for all of Timmy’s characters. In reality I’ll probably only get a few more in,

Warnings: NSFW. Smut- def talks of dom/sub undertones and just generally horny themes. I mean, the title is very self explanatory. Kyle x AFAB! Reader

After Care(what they're like after sex):

The first time you have sex with Kyle, aftercare isn’t a practice he’s ever partook in. He comes and makes you come and then is ready to pop a cigarette in his mouth and call it a night.

This rubs you all the way wrong.

Has you wobbling out of bed and pulling on your clothes in a furious, flustered silence.

“What are you doing- hey. Y/N. What the hell?” He watches you, big green eyes accusatory as you prepare to leave. Your steps shaky and uncoordinated. He hadn’t exactly gone easy on you. “Sit down, you can barely walk”

“Like you care” you scoff. “it’s fine, I’m just gonna go”

He sighs, not one for dramatics that aren’t his own. “You’re gonna hurt yourself”

“I’m not some random piece of ass that you can screw and discard, Kyle. Fuck you very much for thinking so” your words are venomous and sharp, but your bottom lip is wobbling. Your eyes are stormy and still slightly unfocused and woah.

Holy shit. He’s a douchebag but he’s not an idiot. He spends way too much time online and he’s able to put together what’s going on pretty damn quick.

You’re dropping.

He can’t let you leave like this. Hell, you shouldn’t be up from bed much less driving in this state..

Kyle doesn’t do aftercare, we’ll at least he hadn’t before.

It’s all kind of clunky, him bullying your purse from your weak hands and batting away any resistance. Him sitting you on the edge of his bed and leaving, just long enough, to return with a glass of water and a stray granola bar. He sits close by, hovering. His hand a solid, but silent comfort on your thigh.

You don’t cry, won’t in front of him, but god do you want to.

You end up stripped back down to your panties and under his plaid comforter once he deems you hydrated enough.

He still smokes his after-sex cig, but this time he has you tucked into his side. Your cheek smushed to his chest as he puffs on nicotine. The fingers of his free hand dancing along the skin of your back.

He’d deny it, but he’s a sucker for aftercare now.

Body Part)their fave body part of theirs, and of their partners

Kyle likes his height. He enjoys towering over crowds, being the tallest person in the room. It makes him feel strong(and like when he was little he was a shrimp- he had a late growth spurt in 9th grade)

Kyle likes your hands. They’re all teeny and delicate and he tends to play with your fingers absentmindedly. He also likes the pudge on your sides. They’re called love handles for a reason. Any time he reaches for them you screech and shy away but like. That doesn’t stop him ever.

Cum(anything to do with it)

He’s the first man to ever make you squirt and yeah, that goes to his head a little bit. He’ll finger fuck you until youre sobbing and clawing at his arms, whimpering at the mess that he seems to love.

Dirty Secret(self explanatory)

He’s a panty thief. Will literally steal your panties and keep them(and sniff them, often). You complain about it, because he’s such a weirdo and because cute underwear can get expensive! He doesn’t care.

Experience(how experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

For how much sex he’s had he lowkey wasn’t great at it when you guys started fooling around. Or maybe it’s that he never cared- to get good at getting his partner off. Kyle is a selfish lover. You def teach him all the tricks in your book on how to make you feel good. And once that boy knows? He KNOWS. He’s able to flip you over and make you come in two minutes flat.

Favorite Position(this goes without saying)

Kyle loves doggy. He wants you bent over, unable to do anything but take him. Also partial to reverse cowgirl.

Goofy(are they more serious in the moment? Are they goofy?)

He is soooo serious it’s almost laughable. He gets offended when you laugh at the smoldering look on his face while he fucks you. It makes you nervous- you can’t help but giggle.

Hair(how well groomed they are)

Very well groomed. Neatly trimmed. He can’t pretend he doesn’t care about societal norms all he wants, Kyle is a total preener and loves taking care of his appearance. I mean, look at his hair. You just know it takes him a ridiculous amount of time to do in the morning.

Intimacy(how they are during the moment? The romantic aspect)

At first- intimacy isnt even in Kyles vocabulary. He doesnt know how, he doesnt understand it. It makes him feel awkward as hell. Slowly but surely as your relationship developes he starts to crave it. He wants you to stare into his eyes while you ride him, your fingers interlocked. Its tantric. Addicting.

Jack Off(masturbation headcanon)

Porn addict. All conspiracy obsessed, internet surfing boys are. He loves reading Manga and watching anime porn. You’ll indulge him and watch it with him sometimes.

“Hey, I have a toy that looks just like that!” You make the offhanded comment as the two of you watch an animated girl with big tits in a school uniform getting railed by a tentacle monster.

You’re immersed in the video. The raunchy sounds of high pitched squealing and skin slapping fill the quiet room. The blinds are drawn and the two of you lie cuddled together in his bed.

Kyle stares at you. His brain short circuiting.

You’d said it so casually. You have a toy- that looks just like the giant tentacle on his computer screen.

“You’re lying” he deadpans and it makes you giggle.

“Maybe one day I’ll show you” you shrug and like. What the fuck. Where did you even come from?

When you send him a short video of a pink glass tentacle dildo sliding in and stretching your wet hole…well let’s say that he doesn’t have to turn to his anime porn for spank bank material anymore.

Kink(one or more of their kinks)

Kyle loves overstimulation and edging. Both him doing it to you and you doing it to him. Like full on tears, shaking, emotional breakdowns, orgasms that are so good they hurt. Ugh. It’s his favorite.

Location(favorite places to do the do?)

Anywhere. Although, he def has a thing for sliding inside of you after a show. The adrenaline of playing live still coursing through his veins as he crowds you into the handicapped stall of some grimy venue bathroom and fucks you raw, his jeans around his ankles.

Motivation(what turns them on? Get’s them going?)

He loves it when you’re jealous. He's not ignorant to the way that women(and men tbh) look at him. React to him. It's always been this way, really it doesn't phase him anymore.

But you? You hate that shit.

You hate the way you can be holding his hand, and still girls will come up to him. Wink at him from across the room, waitresses leaving their phone numbers on napkins. Its maddening,

Kyle reassures you with words, with kisses and promises. He’s yours. He isn't interested in wasting energy on any of them. You're his only girl.

Still, the way you stake your claim makes him feral. When you suck bruises into his throat or wrap your arms around his waist. Don't even get him started on the time that you threw a drink in that girls face at that one party(she’d told Kyle he had like, the best hair, and reached for his dark curls. Her hand never even made it close) its just so hot. Knowing that you want him that much,

No(something they wouldn't do? Turns off’s)

So he likes it when you’re jealous, right? But you making him jealous? Is completely off the table. He will, and has, freaked out about it. He could never do threesomes or any kind of group play, he’d lose his shit.

Oral(preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc?

Kyle loves getting head. “Selfish lover alert”. It’s a chore you’re happy to perform, you love suckling at his big cock. Playing with his pink tip-

But like. He also enjoys going down on you. When the two of you first started sleeping together, you were really self conscious about it. Something about your shitty ex not liking the mess. Which like, he’ll never understand.

Your pussy is so gorgeous. All puffy and pretty for him, swollen and sopping wet. Hes such a tease with his quick tongue and little kisses. It’s not until you’re writhing and begging and forcing his dark haired head deeper that he really goes to town.

Pace(are they fast and rough, slow and sensual?)

The mans good with his hips, it's the musician in him. He has rhythm. But he is still just a young man, and he does end up getting sloppy and messy towards the end. Chasing his high like a mad man

Quickie(their opinions on quickies, how often?)

Loves a good quickie- but you’re not a huge fan. He’s very good at convincing you though, at dragging you into dark corners and palming at your body through your clothes.

Risk(are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)

Yup, he loves that shit. He's such an exhibitionist You warn him that it is in fact, illegal. That public indecency can end in heavy fines, “The sex offenders list, Ky! I’m serious!”

But like, you always end up caving. Letting him fuck your brains out in his car. Spreading your legs when he reaches under the restaurant table, his fingers grazing your soft inner thigh, playing with your clit through your panties. If you wore a skirt for easy access…well thats your own business.

Stamina(how many rounds can they go? How long can they last?)

He’s a lazy little thing, I just know it. You get a couple rounds out of him and then he’s laying back and demanding you ride him, your turn to do the work.

“You’re my pillow princess, huh, baby?” you purr as you climb ontop of him, rubbing your wet slit along his flagging erection. You know he’ll get back to full hardness soon enough.

For now, he lies back, hands behind his head. Lounging, barley awake, his long eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks. You give his plump lips a wet smack and they twitch up in amusement.

“Princess? Whatever” He sasses, feigning offense. Even as he lets you do all the work, reaching between your own legs to fist at his cock, leading the head to your waiting hole.

“Prince then” you smile as you sink down and he groans, the veins in his neck straining as he throws his head back into the soft down pillows. He’s more than happy to let you do all the work.

Toys(do they own toys? Will they use them?)

He’s bleh about them. I think he’s inquisitive by nature, and likes to think of himself as explorative but like- he doesn't want anything but his cock filling you and making you feel good. He does enjoy watching you use them on yourself,

Unfair(how much they like to tease)

He is the absolute WORST tease. He loves riling you up. It makes him so hot, the way he can get you so desperate for him.

Volume(how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc)

Kyle’s a quiet lover, he grits his teeth and lets out long sighs You love getting him to crack, making him moan and writhe and gasp.

X-Ray(let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I’d hate to say this because he already has a massive ego, but he has a pretty big dick too. Maybe right above garage. 7 inches. Long, but heavy.

Yearning(how high is their sex drive?)

When he wants it- he NEEDS it. Like. He’s very dramatic and takes high offense to you withholding yourself from him. Its as annoying as it is flattering.

Zzz(how quickly they fall asleep after)

He’s knocked the FUCK out. Quickly. This man has fallen asleep with his softening cock still inside of you. He’s your big baby and once he’s drunk on your kisses hes a goner.

“Your pussy’s better than indica, baby” he tells you once, only half joking and you snort and hit him square in the face with the nearest pillow.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for disapproving of my best friend's relationship? (CW for grooming)

Context: about a year ago I (17, transmasc) joined a local group for queer teenagers to hang out and do stuff together (we meet once a week at the library). The group consists of roughly 10 people and I usually get along with all of them, but my closest friend in the group is W (20, transfem). I would say she's my best friend in general, and I think she'd say the same for me. I'm still in high school and W goes to the community college here.

A few weeks ago, myself, W, and another friend from the group, J (18, cis guy) were over at my place. After a while W said she had some news for us - she'd gotten into a relationship! W used to be (and still is) very socially isolated. She didn't have any friends to speak of before joining the group, not even online, so for her to find a romantic partner was super exciting and I was honestly really proud of her. I obviously wanted to hear more about it, so I asked her to elaborate and this is where things go off the rails.

She said that her new girlfriend (let's call her L) was also trans, and that she was 27. She said they'd met in college and started spending more and more time together. She told us she'd honestly just expected to be friends, but over the winter break L officially asked her out, she was elated, and since then they'd been spending basically all their free time together. immediately alarm bells started ringing in my head - I asked her if I'd heard it right, that L is 27, and W responded yeah, and she knows it's a little strange, but she doesn't mind, so whatever.

I tried to calmly tell her that a 7 year age gap is way too much and that it's not a safe relationship to be in. She immediately got defensive, saying she's an adult and she can do what she wants, etc etc. I said I don't care if she's technically an adult, that's still fucking creepy! I asked J, who had been keeping quiet the whole time, to back me up, but all he did was give me that "I don't know, it's not my place to say anything" bullshit. I was genuinely shocked, I thought he would have supported me but he just… waffled. We had all gotten pretty heated, and at this point W had stood up and started shuffling over to the door. She started in saying I was overreacting over nothing, that they'd been together for not even two weeks, and she didn't need my permission to have this relationship. She said she thought she could trust me, she only told me because she thought I'd be happy for her, on and on, and then she walked out.

It's been a few weeks since then, and she hasn't shown up to the group at the library. I've been too scared to text her because she's clearly pissed off at me. I recognize that I wasn't very good at keeping my composure, and I definitely could have been kinder about it, but I was just scared for my friend. It would be worrying if anyone had gotten into a relationship with that much of an age gap - but she has essentially 0 social skills, and hasn't been in a relationship before, so I'm terrified that she's being taken advantage of because of her inexperience.

What are these acronyms?

[sturniozo]

Tutor Part Five

NOT PROOFREAD

masterlist

It’s the weekend after the game and I can’t help but lay in bed and do nothing. What do I even do? I could study or read,

I could play video games or shop online. I probably shouldn’t shop online though. I end up blowing my whole paycheck each time.

No, the options were not suitable. There was only one thing I really wanted to do and that was hang out with Chris. It’s crazy to me, I usually want to be around Nick, since he’s my best friend. But this time all I can think about is Chris.

Did he really mean it when he said he wanted to hang out this weekend? I guess there’s only one way to find out. I’d have to text him and ask.

Text him.

Just text him.

I stare at my phone, screaming internally to get myself to text him. But I just stay staring at my phone.

Text him.

TEXT HIM.

I sigh. It’s not going to happen. I lay back down on my bed, but as soon as my head hits the pillow my phone starts to ring. I jolt up and slip off my bed, landing on the floor. I pluck my phone from my bed and answer the call without even getting off the floor or looking at who called me?

“Hello?” I ask.

“Hey, y/n you free tonight?” Chris. Damn the butterflies in my stomach. God how do I respond? I need to think of something. Yes I’m free, I’m always free on weekends. Of course I’m free.

“Not really.”

What the fuck.

“Oh damn, I thought you’d wanna hang out tonight. Come over and watch a movie with me, Matt and Nick.”

I can. I totally can. I’d love to, in fact.

“Sorry, I can’t tonight.”

You fucking liar.

“That’s too bad. What are you doing tonight?”

Great. Just great. What are you gonna say to that?

“Just stuff.”

I have no words for how stupid I am.

“Stuff, really? Stuff that’s so important you can’t do it later and come watch a movie with us?”

No, it’s not important it’s nothing.

“Yep.”

I hate myself.

“Well. I see. I’ll talk to you later then.”

Don’t go.

“Yep. Bye Chris.”

He hangs up and I throw my phone. I roll over on the floor and cover my face with my hands.

God I’m a dumbass.

Before I can do anything else my phone rings again. This time I’m smart enough to check who’s calling.

Nick.

God now I’m in trouble. I answer it quickly and before I can say anything Nick speaks.

“You’re not busy doing ‘stuff’ what the fuck are you blowing us off for?” He says bitterly.

“Nothing. I don’t know why I said any of that I just… It was Chris that asked and I wasn’t thinking and-“

“He thinks you hate him.”

“I don’t hate him.”

“I know you’re obsessed with him. You have a shrine to him in your closet.”

“I do not. Shut up.”

“Come watch the damn movie with us. Spend the night.”

“I’ll be there soon.”

“You better some up with something good to spare Chris’s feelings.”

“Tell him I’m sorry.” I beg.

“Just come over and do it yourself.” Nick says before hanging up.

I get to their house and know on the door. I’m almost immediately greeted by Chris.

“Hey, y/n!” He says as he smiles at me. He steps back to let me in the house. I walk in and he closes the door behind me.

We walk into the kitchen where Nick and Matt are preparing snacks.

“Y/n you’re here!” Nick says. He holds up the bowl of popcorn. “Ready for movie night?”

“Oh yeah, definitely.” I respond. We all walk to the living room and sit down on the couch. Matt puts on the movie they had pulled up and ready.

Chris sits next to me and places his arm over my shoulders. I try to stay calm and look as if it doesn’t affect me.

Throughout the movie Chris continues to scoot closer and closer to me, until his arm is wrapped fully around my waist and has me pulled so the sides of our bodies are pressed together. My face is covered with blush so I try to hide my face from his view so he doesn’t know how much he affects me.

Movie night lasts for three more movies, and by then it’s 3 am. Matt went to bed in the middle of the last movie, unable to hold out tho whole time. At the end of the last movie, Chris stands up and holds his hand out for me.

At this point i was tired and groggy. I take Chris’s hand without a second thought.

“Wanna go sleep in my room tonight?” He mumbles close to my ear as his arm wraps around my waist, keeping me steady.

This catches me off guard, and I look up at him in shock. “Wh-what? I thought I was gonna sleep in Nicks room, like always.”

“Nicks cool with it, aren’t you Nick?”

“It’s whatever.” Nick replies. Chris turns back to me.

“See, he’s cool with it.”

“But… I’m not.” I say and look down.

“Is this about what I said yesterday after the game? I didn’t mean it like that, I swear. I’d never objectify you like that. I just meant, y’know, you looked hot.”

“Chris it’s not about that.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, I just… I’d rather sleep in Nick’s room.”

“Oh. I just thought. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay. I would just rather be with my best friend tonight.”

“Maybe some other night then?”

“Maybe.”

“Okay well, goodnight y/n.”

“Goodnight Chris.”

Chris walks off to his bedroom and I join Nick going to his. I sit down on his bed.

“Hey, are you uncomfortable with Chris? I can talk to him for you.” Nick says to me as he sits next to me on his bed.

“I’m not uncomfortable… I was just caught off guard. I like him.”

“He likes you.” Nick tells me.

“He just likes women.”

“True, but he likes you especially. When you tried to blow him off this morning he came to me like a sick kid begging me to get you to come.”

I giggle at the thought of Chris begging Nick for anything. “But Chris isn’t a boyfriend guy, you know that.” I lean back on the bed.

“He’s always like you though. When I first introduced you to him he was obsessed. I’m not kidding. He wouldn’t shut up about you for weeks. Always asked me when you’d be coming over.”

“But that was four years ago.”

“And? He’s doing it again.”

“But he stopped for so long in between?”

Nick sighs “You always focus on the wrong parts, y/n!” He shakes his head and groans. “Do you want pajamas or a shirt or something to sleep in?”

I nod. He goes to his closet and gives me a shirt and sweatpants. I go to his bathroom and change. I come back out and get into his bed under the covers. Nick shuts off the lights and gets into bed as well.

“Night y/n”

“Goodnight Nick.”

Tag list : @freshloveforthefit @sturniolo14 @sturniolosreads @bethsturn @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @dwalk41202

[normal-internet-user]

Tis I, 💜

I think my request got eaten maybe? But I just wanted to request the 2012 turtles with an adoptive human!older sister reader, who is very good at being a sister to each of the brothers unique needs. Example :

Skateboarding /being silly with Mikey (but not so much the others, baby brother privilege lmao)

Sparring /rough housing with Raph

Serious training / meditation with Leo

And actually helping Donnie or listening to him when he goes on his rants? Instead of making fun of him she gives him encouragement ?

And of coarse a cute lil bit with splinter wouldn’t upset me :) but whatever you can do with this! I don’t wanna ask too much. Hope you are doing well, love ya 💜

OMG hi Purple! Haven't heard from you in forever friend! Love the prompt, this is gonna be great!

2012 BOYS WITH A BIG SIS READER

When Splinter took you in, he was still a new father, the boys were still just tots and you were only around 4.

He'd found you lost and alone in the sewers, how you had even gotten there, he had no clue, but after discovering a note in your coat pocket asking for someone to care for you, he decided he would.

He raised alongside the boys, and there was never an issue.

You got along well with each of them and all four looked up to you as much as they did to him.

Splinter trained you in ninja arts, and you were patroling by fifteen.

By around that time, the boys had started their training, and Splinter often had you help him teach the boys.

You were Ane-chan to the boys, (Older sister, if it's wrong feel free to tell me.), And you always made sure to spend time with all of them growing up.

You'd make sure Donnie slept, and sit with him while he worked, and he appreciated how much you cared.

You'd let Raph vent to you, and you would rough house around alot, obviously he's a bit stronger than you naturally, so even if you won, it was usually sporting a few new bruises. He would always feel bad about it, but don't worry Red, Ane-chan can handle a few bruises.

You meditated often with Leo, and always listened when he info dumped about Space Heros. He always went to you if he struggled in training since he knew you'd do your best to actually help him.

You reserved all that pent up silly for Mikey, prank wars, staying up late with video games and moutain dew.

Honestly, I thinked you would have a moment like Po, where you find out you're adopted, and your just like,

"WHAT?"

Then you're talking to April and Casey about it like, "So, I just found my dad isn't really my dad."

Casey: "Your dad... the rat?"

*Nod*

Casey: "Are you-"

April: "That must have been quite difficult."

Moving back abit, when the Foot and Kraang start borderline harrassing the boys,

You're just about go kick Shredder's ass yourself,

Ain't nobody gonna mess with your Kyoudai. (Little brothers).

Obviously Splinter tells you to cool it,

But after that you go with the boys everywhere you can.

You never take away Leo's role as the leader but rather offer yourself up as the voice of reason and peace among the team.

You do your best to make sure arguments are settled in a healthy way,

While also trying to keep those idiots from getting themselves killed.

The first time you faced Shredder he was like, "Wtf how the hell did Yoshi aquire you? And why?"

You almost succeded in kicking his ass,

Emphasis on almost,

You got your fucking leg fractured.

You had to stay in a hospital up top for a while.

Ahem-

Obviously it would have been hard for Splinter to send you to school,

So growing up he just homeschooled you to the best of his ability, and you actually homeschooled the boys.

So when April and Casey show up, April let's you know it's possible to get a highschool diploma online.

You're all like, "Hell yeah, let's do this."

But then, ya know,

Highschool.

Splinter taught you how to cook, and you were the designated chef of the household, (Even if it was just algea)

Eventually, you taugh Mikey, so now you guys share the kitchen.

Now about that wholesome moment with Splinter,

I have a little drabble thought.

So, imagine you're around 13, and your job is to watch the boys and make sure they don't hurt themselves or anything.

For some more context the boys are around 9.

So, anyway,

Splinter is out, and you're babysitting.

The boys are wrestling, which isn't too unusual, they do that alot ya know?

But, someone's foot lands were it shouldn't, and now Donnie's wrist is swelling and all four of them are crying.

You panic, you pick up Donnie and bring him to the kitchen and put some ice in his wrist.

After that, you move back to the living room, and do your best to calm evryone down.

Now, Splinter knew he could hear anything happening for quite a distance, so when he hears crying and your panicked voice, he instantly made his way home.

He ran in, expecting the worst, and was relieved to find no one was mortaly injured.

After you told him what happened, he calmed you and the boys, and after checking Donnie's wrist, he put the boys to bed.

The entire time, you sat on the couch, waiting for Splinter to come and scold you. You felt guilty and ashamed.

After all, Donnie got hurt on your watch.

It was your fault.

Splinter sat next to you, and you curled into yourself with tears running down your face, "Is Donnie gonna be ok?" you sniffled.

Splinter put a gentle hand on your shoulder, "He'll be fine, my dear."

You wiped your eyes with your sleeve, "I'm sorry, Father. I- I messed up, and then Donnie got hurt and I didn't know what do to-"

"Hey, hey. It was not your fault. Accidents happen. What is important is to learn how to prevent the same accident from happening again."

"B-but-"

"Ah, ah. No buts. It was not your fault. Now go tell your brothers goodnight. And then we can read stories." You nodded, smiling softly as Splinter pulled you in for a hug.

You wiped your eyes and entered the boys' shared room.

Mikey shot up from his bed, "(Name)!"

You shushed him, tucking him back in, and giving him a kiss on the forhead, "Quiet down, Angelo. It's bedtime."

He huffed, and you moved around the room, making sure each of your brother was tuckes in nice and warm.

As you moved to leave, there was a soft chorus of, "Goodnight, Ane-Chan."

You turned and smiled, "Goodnight little brothers."

....................................

Whoops, got a little carried away with this one lol!

[kittievampire]

So long/odd request but hear me out

Mc and Lucifer are in a sugar-rotting relationship and brothers and undatebles react

Lucifer spoils Mc so much like…mammon gets in trouble he gets hung from the ceiling Mc does the same thing they get away scot-free Satan has been begging for a cat for eons nope! but Mc wants one of course. He gets them tons of expensive gifts and if Mc ever wants something they only have to bat their eyes at him. It's not like Mc is using him though they dot on him a bunch too. And whenever they get in a fight loud moans are followed within a few minutes (if you know what I mean) but feel free to ignore 💙

I was in the middle of class when I read this and I was WHEEZING

I am a firm believer in Lucifer spoiling the MC rotten and leaving his brothers to fend for them damn selves but denying any sort of favoritism

I only did the brothers this time, I hope that's okay 😭😭😭

Sorry this took so fooking long to make 🥲

Lemme see what I have in my bag, my dear~

Click here if you wanna request!

Warnings: Very suggestive, jealous bros lmao L

Enjoy.

You and Lucifer had been dating for a few months now. Though, one would think you'd just gotten together with the way the two of you treated eachother. Or maybe that you were newlyweds in your honeymoon phase.

Lucifer treated you like a goddess. There was constant praise and worship, he'd drop everything if you asked, and he'd spoil you rotten with his love. You would return the favor, of course. Every now and then you'd surprise him with a new cursed vinyl, which he'd listen to all night if not spending it with you.

However, the brothers believe that you're getting totally unfair treatment.

Mammon

Baby boy was spending a lot more money than usual

He was playing a new gambling game he'd downloaded on his D.D.D.

When Lucifer got home, he immediately scolded the second-born for a solid 45 minutes

He announced that Mammon was on "lock-down" and wasn't allowed to ask anything of anyone, nor was he allowed to spend money

He was hung from the ceiling

And Goldie was taken away, too

Mammon was pissed the fuck off

So, when he noticed you were spending a lot more money, he did tease you for being greedy

"Oi, human, ain't splurgin' on shopping supposed to be mine and Asmo's thing? Lucifer's gonna be on yer ass if ya spend too much. Just be careful."

He says this and is genuinely a little worried that he'd see you hung from the ceiling as well

Lucifer confronts you about it in front of Mammon

"My Love, may I know why you've been spending so much grimm recently?"

First off, Mammon didn't like how he started that

How come you got that sweet conversation starter?

What he got was, "Mammon, what have you been wasting your money on this time?!"

Though, he still suspected it'd go downhill, and that he'd need to jump in to protect you at some point

"Oh, just some things... I can't tell you what they are, but I promise this is a rare occasion, Luci." You said, gifting him a kiss on his cheek

Lucifer smiled at you. "Alright, as long as you're being responsible, I trust you."

...

WHAT?!

"WHAT?!" Mammon shouted, earning a slight jolt from you and a look of annoyance from Lucifer

"What, Mammon?"

The Avatar of Greed froze. "I-I-! Y-You—" He paused before letting out a small groan

"Nevermind. Forget about it, yeah?"

Leviathan

Snekboi missed roughly a week of school and wasn't attending his online classes

He was grinding this new game he got so he could keep his spot as one of the top players!

He just couldn't afford to take his attention off of his D.D.D. for a second, the price would be too high!

Of course, Levi ended up being scolded by Lucifer

"Your priority must be your studies, Levi, do you intend on dragging Diavolo's name through the mud?"

How Diavolo was relevant was beyond him

But, Levi still had to sit through a lecture

He also got his D.D.D. taken away from him for a week

Not only did he lose top-spot, but he lost a majority of his self-esteem as well

So, he was obviously worried when you started skipping as well

"Uhh, MC, I'm not sure you should stay home today. Lucifer's not too kind to those who slack off."

But, his warnings fell upon deaf ears

You decided to take a few days off, deciding that you just really didn't feel like going to RAD

You woke up with a migraine one day, couldn't get sufficient sleep the other, and you just took another day to catch up on sleep and what work you had

Leviathan actually tried to stop Lucifer when he saw him outside of your room

"Lucifer, maybe they were feeling really bad or something, I don't think punishing them is a good idea, please show mercy! They're just a human!"

"Quit your whining, Levi. Or do you want to be given the Mammon treatment?"

This made Levi yelp and cower behind him, watching as Lucifer knocked on your door

You answered it, and Leviathan bit his nails nervously

"Hey, Luci," You said, greeting him with a small kiss to the cheek

"My Love," He started softly. "Are you feeling alright? You haven't been attending your classes. Is something wrong?" He asked, a hand reaching up to caress your cheek.

Error 404 not found

Leviathan.exe has stopped working

You smile sweetly. "I'm okay, Lucifer, I just really wasn't feeling up for RAD these past couple of days. It's nothing to worry about, promise!" You say, quite enthusiastically.

...

NANI THE FUCK?!

Levi SWORE you were about to get bodied

But, no

Lucifer just smiled, chuckled softly, and left with an "Alright, take care of yourself, Love."

Bullshit

You're fucking hacking

Satan

Satan wanted to bring a cat into the HoL

Lucifer reminded him of how he brought more cats than were allowed and "turned the House of Lamentation into the House of Cats"

Very fucking salty about it, but ultimately got over it (for the most part)

He saw you bring a little feline home and immediately rushed to your side to help you take care of it

It was a stray with a few wounds from other cats

He helped you bandage it and feed it, all the goods

"MC, I must warn you that Lucifer isn't exactly fond of pets... Let alone cats," Satan said, stern gaze meeting yours

You tilted your head in confusion. "Why is that?"

Satan was a bit hesitant to tell you, so he gave you the shortened and sweet version

"We had a bit of a cat problem a while back, he just really doesn't like cats. Dog people, am I right?" He scoffed

"Satan, what did I say about bringing in cats?"

Satan lowkey jumped a bit and turned his head

The fuck did he come from, bro is teleporting or some shit

You immediately hold the kitty close to your arms, looking up at Lucifer with doe eyes

"Luci, I'm sorry! I was the one who took in the cat, but he was hurt! Please, can we just keep it for a little while, at the very least?" You begged, the black cat in your arms meowing at Lucifer

Satan sighed. He was about to tell you that it was no use, that Lucifer couldn't be bought or reasoned with on this topic. That may have been his fault and he was sorry, but there was absolutely no way Lucifer would budge on this-

"Fine."

...

...

Um

What

Satan sat there dumbfoundedly before the two of you as you continued to converse, trying to process the events that had just taken place

Lucifer said yes

To you

For a cat?

Huh...

He was upset for a mere moment, but then a light bulb went off in his mind

Perhaps he could use this to an advantage

Satan's definitely going to try and get you to be a wild card whenever him and Belphie are pulling pranks on Lucifer

Just so the eldest will be a little more lenient

Now he knew Lucifer's weakspot

He found himself laughing maniacally in his mind as he realized just how much him and Belphegor could do with you as a cushion whenever they'd get in trouble

Asmodeus

"But, Lucifer, all of products in my favorite cosmetic brand are going on sale today! I have to get every single one of them or else I'll be..." Asmodeus gasped

"Trashy!!" He cried out, practically leeching off of Lucifer's arm as he continued to beg

"Asmodeus, no! You and Mammon are both on lockdown for the rest of the month! Now, get off of me!"

Lucifer managed to pry his younger brother off of him and slammed ether door shut to his office, leaving a near-on sobbing Asmodeus in the library

That's when he heard you

"Lucifer, must you always be so rough on your siblings?" He heard you ask, making him gasp and sigh dreamily. "Oh, darling, you always come to my rescue when I need it!" He said, his voice not loud enough to penetrate the door

"MC, I suggest staying out of my family matters. They have nothing to do with you."

Asmodeus could tell from the other side of the door that an argument was likely about to ensue

However, when the two of you started raising your voices, he could also sense some... Arousal?

"Oh!"

"Oh."

It wasn't long before he could hear your moans and whimpers from the other side of the door, lewd slapping noises making him step back a bit

Asmodeus couldn't help but giggle a little

He honestly didn't mind this as much as his brothers did, he found it really entertaining that the two of you endulged in his sin after such a heated argument

Asmodeus approves 👍💖

Beelzebub

Poor baby gets scolded so often for raiding the fridge, especially late at night

He's usually told to go to bed, and that these late-night trips to the fridge aren't good for him, all that

He couldn't help it, it was his sin! That was no fair!

Lucifer ended up putting him on lockdown after 11pm, meaning no trips outside of his room whatsoever

Beelzebub would usually try to get some snacks into his room before that time, but he usually ran out rather quickly and was left with a rumbling stomach

That's when you came in, holding two arm-fulls of snacks

Quietly, you pushed the door closed with your foot

You knew Belphegor was a heavy sleeper, but you still wanted to be quiet anyway, so as not to wake the Avatar of Sloth

You saw the gluttonous ginger perk up when he saw you

"MC?"

You smiled, dropping down the snacks before him

"Lucifer didn't say I couldn't raid the kitchen. I figured you'd be hungry, so I got you some snacks."

Bro bear-hugs you

He lowkey almost breaks your spine with how tight he holds you

"Thank you, MC! Can I call you sister, please? Get married to him quick so I can call you sister!"

You blushed at this comment, chuckling softly

"I'm working on it, I guess," You choked playfully, patting his back

"Beel, I need to breathe."

Not really all too jealous

A bit sad, but he gets over it when you bring him food

Lucifer never says anything about it tho when he finds out you're the one who's causing such a snack shortage

Belphegor

He was constantly scolded for pulling all kinds of pranks on Lucifer

There was that time he threw his D.D.D. in the trash, lit his coat on fire

All harmless things

So, when he catches you attaching a can of whipped cream to... Something in the fridge, he immediately raises a brow at you

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Ahhh, just setting up a little surprise," You chuckled out

At first, he thinks it's for Beelzebub, but Asmodeus had taken him shopping with him earlier with the promise of free food afterward

"For..." Belphie trailed off, hearing footsteps nearing the kitchen

Immediately you close the fridge and take your seat in front of a plate of food you'd made yourself earlier. "Sit down," You whispered to the Avatar of Sloth

As he shuffled to a seat next to you, he realized what you were up to and put a hand over his mouth

Lucifer walked into the kitchen, greeting you and the youngest with a smile and a "Good morning."

You picked up a piece of the pancakes in front of you with a fork, putting it in your mouth and humming to yourself. "Luci? Could you pass me the butter?" You asked softly

Lucifer nodded, turning and opening the fridge

Immediately, whipped cream sprayed all over his face, some falling onto his chest

Belphegor bursted into a fit of laughter, immediately giving you a high-five and wiping a tear from his eye as he clutched his stomach

"Oh, that was good!" He choked out in between laughs

Lucifer turned to look at the youngest, wiping off a large portion of the whipped cream on his face

"Belphegor, did you do this?"

You snickered beside him, looking up at Lucifer

"I thought you'd like a snack, Luci~" You hummed out, giggling softly

Belphegor mentally prepared himself for a 45 minute lecture

There was a pause, making him shift a bit in his seat as his laughter died down

Suddenly, Lucifer began to laugh

It started out small

Then, his laughter boomed in the room, bouncing off of the walls

"Huh,"

This confused the fuck out of Belphie

Like, ummmm what

"You've gotten me, MC, well done. I needed that laugh." He said, walking over to you and wiping some whipped cream off of him, putting it on your nose

He dismissed himself, saying he was going to wash this off of him

Belphegor was silent for a moment

"Hm?"

"You get laughter and boops after pranks and I get lectures and scoldings... Favoritism at it's finest. The Anti-Lucifer League could make use of this."

He'd explain more, but he was getting too sleepy

Shit was fun asf to write, thanks for requesting

I hope you enjoyed this, anon!

[theloveinc]

If u are a meimei/yuki fucker, talk about some kink (no usual kinks..we go hard) with them 🤤🤤 PLEASE

I was gonna say that only god's strongest soldiers can last with Missus Mei Mei... but I am one of god's weakest and I want her so badly after writing this....

So, to begin (and hopefully for you to enjoy!):

-Free use. Being with Mei Mei isn't a transaction. Nothing she gives or does to you is meant to make you feel like you owe her anything. BUT... I think she does expect a level of give and take between the two of you which opens the door for her to be able to use you for anything at any time.

And she's not, you know, gonna fuck you in the middle of an online meeting, but... she gets home from work and wants your pussy on her face? You're gonna put your pussy on her face. She's getting ready for bed and needs her tits sucked? You're gonna suck her tits.

-Foreign object insertion. Mei Mei gets very creative with her sex toys because... I think she's stingy with her strap. She's definitely outgrown her pillow princess phase (years before the two of you even meet)... but she's still quite... lazy... in certain ways. Would much rather rub her pussy while fucking you with the heel of her boot, the handle of her hairbrush, her fountain pen, the zucchini you bought to make for dinner, than actually move her hips.

-Fisting. I don't think she's rough or demanding about it... but she is def going five fingers in if you let her and inspecting the stretch after <3

-Cucking. God, this woman loves watching you get fucked. Especially if she knows if that partner isn't pleasuring you as well as she could. She loves the torture of that, hearing you cry out for her with somebody else's cock in you...... she almost uses it as a form of punishment; of course SHE could make you cum, but she's not the one fucking you, is she (even if she's sometimes the one setting you up with these other partners... it's all for her pleasure)?

-And really anything that evokes her dacryphilia, too... loves to see you weepy because of the effect she has on you. So fisting and cucking like above, but also impact play like spanking, gagging (can you imagine a ball gag? I just nutted), pinching, etc!!!

-Idk what kind of kink this is... if it's chastity-belt related (because she definitely like putting you in those, too) or plain something else... But she loves it when you wear panties that are too tight for you!! Panties that get stuck in between your pussy lips and give you a wedgie all the way up to the top of you ass. She loves it when you have a little camel toe because of it, too, knowing you're wiggling on your chair because the fabric is rubbing your clit and your crack is being rubbed raw... she thinks it's the absolute cutest thing !!! And especially if you can't fix it.

-And right in the middle of these two: begging, of course. And not just begging her to make you cum, but simply asking her for anything. Mei Mei loves it when she gets to hold things over your head, money most importantly, when it ends up she can get you to offer up your face in between her legs without her even suggesting it, all for something she was always going to say yes to buying you.

Or begging for silly things too, like for her to stop working so you can spend time together, or even just kiss a little bit. Makes her ego so fat when you're made to ask.

-

THANK U FOR ASKING ANON!

[crustaceousfaggot]

Why you should give Text Adventure games a try (and how to do so)

There is not nearly enough love for Text Adventure Games here on Tumblr. Or anywhere really. But especially here, I feel like you guys would really get a kick out of them. Here's why:

(quick note, I'm gonna be using the words Text Adventure and Interactive Fiction pretty interchangeably here. Technically that's not perfectly accurate, they are technically different things, but I don't care to explain the difference Just roll with it.)

So

Do you like weird short stories told through unconventional mediums? That's most of what Interactive Fiction is

You like story based video games but hate the finicky combat? Congrats, there is literally no combat skill required beyond the ability to type "hit guard with crowbar"

Blind or visually impaired? Since these games are (with a few exceptions) entirely text based, they work great with a screen reader!

Sick of profit motivated AAA titles with no creative integrity? Well, these games are almost always produced by a single nerd (usually a horrid amalgamation of computer geek and literature geek) with no budget and no responsibilities of the product they're making. And they're usually not paid, since these games are free. Text Adventure is a labour of love, and in most games you can feel the care and effort the creator has put into the game.

Sick of spending $20-70 on a video game? Lucky you, I've been playing TA for years and I have not spent a cent in doing so (Fallen Londen will try to make you pay. But Fallen Londen sucks and is run by bigots. Fuck Fallen London.) Games are either available free on a browser, or as free, small downloadable files (most of which can be played using the Parchment Interpreter)

Wish you read more, but reliant on the quick dopamine of digital media? Well now you can read while also being an active participant in the narrative.

Bad at puzzles? Me too! Games from the 80s and 90s, as well as more famous newer games, have walkthroughs and hints easily available online. Newer games tend to either have a "hint" command, or come with a walkthrough file.

Do you like weird surrealist horror? Well there's... A lot of it.

Okay, but where do I start?

So there are two types of text adventure. The one you might be more accustomed to, and which sees more modern use, is called Hypertext Interactive Fiction. The other is called Parser Interactive Fiction, it's generally seen in older games, as well as games that are larger, feature more puzzles, or involve more exploration.

Hypertext games

Basically, the game will give you a scenario, and then a list of options (hypertext links) to click on to decide what to do next. These are usually more beginner friendly since you don't need to fiddle around with parsers, but personally I find them a bit limiting. Nonetheless, if you're new to Text Adventure, they're a good place to start.

Some of my favourites hypertext games (summaries in green)

My Father's Long, Long Legs is an interactive horror story about family, unease, and loss. Really more of a story than a game, but still good. Very nice use of sound. It does have some visual aspects, so this one might not work with screen readers

Scene Kid Simulator is pretty much what it says on the tin. A cute, nostalgic, coming-of-age slice of life story from the POV of a 2000s scene preteen. Nothing special, but a fun time.

The Uncle Who Works at Nintendo is a strange, unconventional, witty, and heartfelt horror game. Your friend has an uncle who he says works for Nintendo. You're about to meet him, or so he says. A fun and spooky look at childhood, childhood friendships, and childhood lies.

16 Ways to Kill a Vampire at McDonald's is... A joy to play. The name says it all honestly. Witty, charming, tense, engaging, and emotional when it wants to be. I actually found this one through a lucky Tumblr Blaze, which makes sense since this is perfectly suited to Tumblr sensibilities. This one has more puzzle aspects than most hypertext games, but it's still relatively easy and beginner friendly. You're a vampire hunter. It's your night off, and you go to McDonald's. But there's something wrong with the customer sitting beside you...

Toadstools is a game about hunting mushrooms. You have trespassed in a national park and you are wandering blindly through the woods looking for rare fungi. Good luck :)

Parser games

Okay these fuckers are where I really get excited. These games have the classic flashing cursor line where you input text like "go north", "search bookshelf", or "kiss my husband", and the game's rudimentary AI parses your input to decide what happens next. These are my favourites. They really allow you the feeling of exploring the game world, immerse you in the protagonist and the story, using just text on a screen and simple inputs. This does make them considerably more difficult, since a) you need to decide the right way to phrase what you want to do, otherwise it won't work, and b) more possibilities means more chances to mess up and miss things. Unlike video games, your cursor won't light up when you see something important, you'll have to search stuff and work things out on your own But, in my opinion, it is so, so worth it. Summaries in red

The first text adventure game I ever played was One Eye Open. It's an extremely graphic and gory medical horror game (although I would consider it tasteful medical horror, in that it never derives horror from medical procedures, disability, or ooOoHh gross scary sick people) You play as a volunteer test subject for a medical research facility, having to unravel the mystery of the hospital's bloody past. It's good. It's fun. It's tense. It has some really dumb mechanics. Don't play if you're sensitive to descriptions of gore, death, or corpses. This one doesn't have a walkthrough, but I've played it enough times to know the puzzles by heart, DM me if you need help.

Anchorhead is possibly my favourite piece of interactive fiction I've ever played. It's incredible. You play as a newlywed woman, moving to the small seaside town of Anchorhead after your husband Michael inherited a mansion from some distant relatives. There's something wrong with the town though. There's definitely something wrong with your husband's mysterious ancestors. And you're starting to think that there might be something strange happening to Michael. Get ready for some wonderfully atmospheric and immersive Lovecraftian horror, action sequences that are incredibly vibrant for Text Adventure, and a super compelling mystery that the game lets you work out on your own. The puzzles here are hard. I'm not gonna lie, I used a walkthrough at several points during this game. But my god it's worth it. Big massive huge content warning here for mentions of incest, sexual assault, and pedophilia. Not in excess, and nothing explicit, but it will be mentioned as part of the story.

Little Blue Men is a short, strange, sci-fi-ish horror-ish comedy-ish game by the same author as Anchorhead, though the two games are wildly different. You are an office worker. Cope with it. Take The Stanley Parable, Stella Firma, and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, mash 'em together, and you have Little Blue Men. It's bizarre. It's evocative. It's pretty darn good.

Coloratura is a strangely beautiful sci-fi story. You're a weird little alien blob. You've been separated from your home and are trapped aboard a human spaceship. You need to get home, need to make the humans understand in the only ways you can: color and song.

Slouching Towards Bedlam is a brilliant little steampunk game about language, choice, cults, Armageddon, and triangles. This game has multiple endings. It's neat in that none of the endings are really "good" or "bad". Rather, you need to decide where you stand, and act in the way you think is best.

The Lurking Horror is the grandparent of horror interactive fiction, released in the late 80s. You're a tech student in university. Something more than electricity is powering the school's computers. Find it, but don't die along the way. Besides the comically archaic descriptions of computers, this game doesn't feel all that dated. It's tricky, puzzle-heavy, and charmingly surreal. (Fun fact, this game and another old TA game called Zork inspired the "darkness kills you" mechanic which would later be popularized in Don't Starve!)

Nine Lives is a very short, very weird, very cartoony game where you play a cat that is very bad at staying alive. Cw for non-graphic but repeated cat death.

Spider and Web is one of the most ingenious uses of Text Adventure as a medium I've ever seen. It's famous for having one of, if not the singular best puzzles in video game history. It's tense, it's fast-paced, it introduces you to mechanics slowly and then lets you test them out on your own. I won't spoil too much, but you play as a very badass spy, reliving your brilliant heist during an interrogation. This game even features a character destined to be a Tumblr Sexyman. It really has it all.

If anyone actually read through all this, and has even considered playing any of these games, I'll be a little surprised. This post turned out a lot longer than I wanted it to be. It was meant to just be "hey interactive fiction is a cool and underappreciated medium, go check it out", but this is my special interest, and not one I often get to talk about. I guess this was me infodumping to the only place that will listen, the empty void of the internet. But these games are fun. And they do not get enough love. Text games are a dying genre, if they're not dead already. Give them a chance, show them some love.

[magicaguajiro]

Swamp Witch Travels: Finding Sacred Space

Myakka River and Paynes Creek State Parks

As I dive deeper into my practice of bioregional animism, I look to parks for sacred space and places to connect with spirits of all kinds. In Florida we live in cities divided by nature preserves and swamps, and we are also incredibly blessed to have an amazing State Parks system. These parks offer us peaks into ecology and history of the Land that reveal to us some of Its Mysteries. Here are a few things I’ve learned as a Folk Witch.

Make an offering when entering. For ancestral reasons, I use tobacco. Use what you're guided to. Introduce yourself, your intentions, etc. Also, pick up trash and be respectful. Don't wander in places you don't know, or take things you don't have knowledge on. It’s usually best to practice Leave No Trace but when have Witches been known to follow rules… Do as ye will. But always ask and give something in return.

There are different spirits!

Trees, plants, rivers, hills and even entire forests and parks can have their own spirits. At parks like Myakka and Payne’s Creek, there are platforms you can climb for an aerial view of the park. This is a great place to connect with the Genus Loci of a place! (For more on Genus Loci, I recommend Folk Witchcraft by Roger J Horne) Some spirits will want to talk to you, some won’t. Respect their choices and don’t expect anyone to talk for free.

Protection is Key!

Protection is important for witches and animists. Many spirits and natural places are dangerous, for example some Rivers are known for drowning and can be seen as having a harsh and dangerous spirit. When protecting myself day to day I wear spiritual jewelry from my Cuban traditions. Shark and gator teeth serve as great protection from water spirits and in general. My spiral shell ring is protective and I often use it in ritual. Bodies of water are also great places to bless things and hold rituals of cleansing and power! Not only spiritual protection, but physical protection is needed as well. In these swamps, we have gators, sharks, panthers, bobcats, bears, snakes, PEOPLE and even more things that would gladly expedite your role in the food chain. I’m not saying be afraid of animals, rather have respect and recognize you are in their domain. Carry bear spray, don’t wander too far off known trails, and be careful of other people.

I once heard a saying, the Swamp knows everything about death, and doesn’t consider it a tragedy.

Enjoy the Scenery, and Learn!

Take it all in and take your time! If you need to escape heat and mosquitos check out the visitor centers and gift shops! I justify spending a bit too much here on considering it an offering to the Land. Try talking to the people who work here or making friends! This is a great way to learn Folklore and secret places to explore.

On Remembering Ancestors of the Land

In working with the Land, you must honor the Ancestors of the Land. These are the spirits of all the people who lived on the Land before you. For me, this begins with my Ancestors and the other Indigenous groups of the area. In Florida, the tribes who remain today are the Seminole and Mikasuki. We should look to Indigenous tribes for wisdom on how to approach and respect the Land, but that doesn’t mean read online about it and go appropriate it. It means go and actually talk to real life people. You can and certainly should also honor other people, including any folk saints or historical figures who may serve as tutelary spirits or otherwise.

And always remember to say Fuck the Colonizers!

Happy Witching Friends, May the Dry Season bring us all Renewal!

[makoredeyes]

Hello, I hope you're doing well! This is probably an odd question, feel free to ignore it. I wanted to ask you as a fellow writer I admire, who is mostly focused on unpopular/dead/deep lore characters. Do you also sometimes feel like what you're writing is irrelevant and unexciting for everyone, except yourself? If so, how do you deal with this? For me sometimes this sudden realization is so crushing, that I cannot bring myself to finish a single work.

Hello! That’s not an odd question at all in fact it feels pretty relevant tbh. (Omg sorry long reply you got me going 💙)

I think I have several kind of interrelated answers for you so let me lay them out.

1- I am powered by autism and a MIGHTY hyperfixation. I have no choice I am compelled. I am blinded to all other things and so while the little bit of feedback that I do get is AMAZING and so extra sparkly motivating it is not entirely what compels me (but BOY does it help)

2- I joked with a friend just last night that, “this season is, as usual, does not have NEARLY enough Felwinter content and so I must therefore create my own.” - as she pointed out, there have been exactly TWO seasons with ANY Felwinter content at all and I wasn’t playing destiny yet for one of them. My point being, sometimes you gotta create what you want to see yourself. I’ve always found myself in some really niche corner of whatever fandom I’m in and have to do this a lot. Probably how I got to writing and drawing etc. fun thing is tho you find a really special group of people who think and love like you that way, and if it’s a smaller crowd, it’s all the more intimate for it Imo. I’ve made some super special friends in the last 9 months or so in my weird little corner here and it’s magical and I think that quality over quantity filter is awesome. (But yeah i know the validation machine is SO good too)

3- the BEST magic of borrowing from obscure content, generally unknown or undeveloped characters or lore is the creative freedom. The headcannon swapping the worldbuilding the background gathering… the RESEARCH! Gleaning what little bit I can from what we DO have. Who the fuck is timur?! We don’t know. I borrowed the beautiful designs for his face and general personality that Sylenth has developed because she’s done such an amazing job and was kind enough to allow me to play with him as she made him, and took that as jump off point for my writing etc but I have all the wiggle room in the world with but a few widely dispersed canon signposts to lead my direction and that is just so fucking fun for me.

(And that doesn’t mean more mainstream characters like Osiris don’t have their creative appeal to me either. I will deep dive on lore and character analysis for YEARS but living in the peripherals is comfy for me)

Those are all the positives to my work, but yeah, sometimes I do feel a little dejected. I have definitely felt a drop off in reader response weirdly in converse to the effort I put into my writing. Housefire has evolved into much more of a cohesive Plot(tm) that is going somewhere very specific from its origin of a few interlinked fluffy anecdotes and funnily enough about the time I started really digging my heels in and plotting and planning and putting in twists I was REALLY excited about, people started responding less. Some of my favorite fics are the least popular. Some of my art I am most proud of gets the least attention but that damn doodle of poor Felwinter getting splattered by a warsat has 200+ more notes than my next most popular art. (The shitposts always win Damnit! 😩🤣😅)

I get frustrated and yeah sometimes a bit discouraged sometimes and I spend Way Too Much time sitting here refreshing my notes because I am a sad lonely person chronically online just way too thirsty for a little validation or a conversation with someone but like. Every piece gets better. Every piece SOMEONE appreciates. Every piece **I** enjoy and is also a chance for all of that when I share it with the world and that’s exciting and good, and like I said the people in this community as niche and little as it is, are really something special, and some of the people that have come into my circle because of it make it SO worth it.

**I was done but then I read your ask one more time and I’ll add this since it popped into my head last-second:

If we are creating works for dead characters we love, we are keeping them alive.

How magical is that??

[bangrychannie]

Stray Kids Fic Recs

Hello! Recently I have become a stray kids fan and have fallen into a rabbit hole of fanfiction. Various pairings bc I don't care what the pair is just that it's stray kids related lmao. Added a line break bc there's a lot. Also feel free to rec me skz fics please bc I'm always reading

the book of us; electricity: (Seungjin | 10/10 | 84,966 | teen and up)

HJ @hyunfortunately 5h ;-; i was at the store and this song was playing over the speakers and i tried to remember some lyrics so i could search it up later but i can’t find it this is TRAGIC HJ @hyunfortunately 5h it was in korean and it’s kind of got rock-pop-balladish vibes and the first line of it was “neoneun neo neoneun na” if anyone knows it PLEASE tell me Seungmin doesn’t like to interact with other people on Twitter, but the questions seems almost aimed to him. He hits reply and types, “Try Hi Hello by Day6.” [Seungmin falls for Hyunjin from 2000 miles away. He expected that it would be inconvenient. He didn't expect quite how much Hyunjin would change his life.]

Genuinely one of the best fics I've ever read. It reads like a love letter to high school in the best way possible.

so this is what love is by dwaekinz: (Seungjin | 4/4 | 43,743 | teen and up)

seungmong_22 Hi, Hyunjin! My name is Seungmin. I'm Felix's friend, I hope he's mentioned me before…? Ha. We met online two years ago. I know it's unexpected But I kind of need your help hyuntothejin Me??? After 2 years of online friendship, Seungmin has finally found the time and saved up enough money to visit Felix for his birthday. In order for the surprise to work, he recruits the help of Felix's brother, Hyunjin, and together they spend the next three months forging a plan as well as a friendship of their own— or maybe something more.

So cute and fluffy no notes

Endgame by Raesan (Minsung | 9/9 | 150,840 | Explicit)

Jisung didn’t mean to procrastinate, but he didn’t think that all the clubs would be full in just a week. He sighed, seeing that only one club still had availability. Too bad he didn’t know shit about chess. Or what happens when Jisung, captain of the college soccer team, meets Minho, the number 2 ranked chess player in the country.

This fic is genuinely SO GOOD lol I think about it every day

reply hazy, try again by mrehk (BinChan | 1/1 | 14,951 | Explicit)

Changbin’s calculus tutor is Bang Chan. Smile wide, eyes shining, curly hair wild around his head. He’s got his backpack slung over one arm, those fuck ass chino shorts with a five inch inseam that make Changbin’s mouth water— and, goddamn, he’s wearing a fucking cropped t-shirt. Jisung and Seungmin are going to string Changbin up and have their way with public humiliation when they hear about this. (OR: solving for the derivative of l+o+v+e)

Funny and cute, I love idiots in love and that's what this is

Also mrehk is a fantastic writer so if you like this fic there's way more where that came from

i will protect you (gothic font) by mrehk (Minsung | 1/1 | 16,661 | Explicit)

Seungmin ignores him, smacking the folder onto the desk, flipping it open without looking, sliding it across the surface towards Minho. “It doesn’t matter. This was in the lease. You signed, right—” he taps the bottom corner, Minho’s initials perfectly legible. “Here.” “Excuse me?” Minho leans forward. “Paragraph nineteen subsection C,” Seungmin says, not even looking down as he recites the document word for word. “Lease is not voidable in the case of suspected paranormal activity.” He pounds his finger on the period. Minho laughs. A short, barked thing, completely disbelieving. “You’re kidding me.” “I’m really not,” Seungmin’s face pinches up into the sort of fake, squinted smile someone gives when they’re being an asshole. No remorse. (OR: Minho has ghosts, Jisung hunts ghosts)

Another funny one by mrehk my beloved

one day to fall in love (countless ones to love you) by whatifidbeenthatauthor (Minsung | 1/1 | 22,018 | Mature)

Minho stopped in his tracks. He turned to face Han Jisung. He looked unbothered, still going on about his way. “You didn’t say Hi,” Minho said, forcing the voice to come out of his throat. “You always say hi, hyung.” Jisung turned to look at him, a smile playing on his lips. He looked amused. Minho’s mind wasn’t keeping up. “Today’s different, I guess,” Jisung shrugged. “I went with a variation.” Minho would have found him insufferable, but he didn’t have the mental capacity to process the frustrating sensation that usually accompanied Jisung’s presence. Minho blurted out something that might have him sent to a madhouse. “No. I’ve lived today six times. You- you always say hi, hyung.” He felt crazy. More than usual. Jisung laughed. “What the fuck,” he said, and Minho knew he sounded insane, but could this kid please not be so arrogant? “Me, too. I thought I was the only one,” he continued, and he changed Minho’s life. *** Minho's life is boring, predictable, borderline uneventful. Until he gets stuck in a time loop. And, with him, his friends' friend, Han Jisung, a crazy dude who's only into skating. And whom Minho doesn't necessarily like.

I love time loop/time travel fics if anyone wants a list of specifically those lmk lmao

(never) have your fill of me by lolainslackss (Minsung | 3/3 | 36,028 | Explicit)

“How often can he possibly be having sex that it’s disturbing you this much?” Hyunjin asks, disbelieving. “He has sex, like, every day. And then again at night, sometimes.” Jisung makes a noise of distress. He drags his hands down his face before balling them into fists beneath his chin. “It’s just . . . so distracting, Hyunjin.” “Distracting,” Hyunjin repeats, giving Jisung a meaningful smirk. “Oh, I bet it is.” “Aw,” Jisung whines. “Why’d you have to say it like that?” “Like what?” “Like you think I wish I were the one he were fucking, instead.” “Because you do, don’t you, or are we pretending we both don’t know that?” Hyunjin’s gaze flits over to Minho before it swiftly cuts back to Jisung, all-knowing. “You’d let him do anything to you. Am I wrong?” - In which PhD student Han Jisung unleashes a succubus from a magical book, winds up living with him, and then forms a sex pact with him.

I also have a lot of demon fic recs so lmk

36 Questions That May Lead to Love by bluecalicocat (Minsung | 1/1 | 17,282 | Teen and Up)

generic username @realhanjisung yo my friend wants to be a therapist, can someone pls fake date me so he can practice counseling couples? i have 3 cats @leeknow deal

This fic is so funny

Searching for My Heart in Yours by lk321 (minsung | 5/5 | 36,995 | General)

When Jisung moves to Miroh, a town in the middle of nowhere, all he’s looking for is some peace and quiet. Instead, what he finds is a prickly witch for a neighbor by the name of Minho, who accidentally spills a potion on Jisung and forms a psychic bond between them, opening Jisung to whole new world of magic. As Minho tries to find a cure for their predicament, Jisung finds himself pulled into Minho's lively and magical life. It's not the peace and quiet Jisung was looking for, but as Jisung gets to know the witch through the emotions they're forced to share, Jisung realizes that the answers he’s searching for in life might just lie here in Miroh, in places he least expects.

Feels like a warm hug

the long game by floraii (HyunSung | 1/1 | 16,045 | Teen and Up)

“Anyway,” he continues, voice still sultry, “I’ve been seeing you in class, and I was just wondering—” he moves his hand to curl around a strand of his hair. “Could I get your number?” Han Jisung’s big brown eyes blink again. His gaze darts to his lips, then to his notebook, then up to his eyes. “To study?” “Yeah,” Hyunjin blurts without thinking. What the fuck? Study? What is happening? Why is he agreeing?

Hyunjin has a type. It’s not usually shy boys in his Intro to Statistics class with big round eyes and glasses, but Han Jisung is different.

This fic was so funny I was actually laughing out loud

I have plenty more where that came from! So there will be more recs soon

[chainoftalent]

A,,Any chance of a Yandere Profile for Kokichi?? 👉👈 👀

Have I really not done one for Kokichi? I could have sworn I did, probably just remembering somebody else's.

Kokichi Yandere Profile

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

Kokichi is very aware of what he's doing, as the Ultimate Supreme Leader he can't afford to not be aware of everything he does and thinks. He knows full well he's obsessive and he needs to be careful, he just doesn't think it's anyone's business.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

Solidly depends on how much you give back to him, if you try and pull away from him, or don't like him, and he can't change your mind and make you stay then you're being taken to a secondary location. However if you're friendly, kind to him, listen to him, spend a lot of time with him, and put him above basically everyone then he's more likely to let you be more free range.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

You're not escaping from Kokichi, at first you've only got minor restraints to make things easier on everyone, but Kokichi's done this rodeo like 9 times before he's gotten to you he knows what he's doing. He knows how to escalate and punish that best work, while he might be more forgiving of the first few escapes as that's just nature, that doesn't mean he'll ever let you fully get away with it, he won't look weak in front of you, not when he needs you to accept him as your leader. Plus getting out means getting past DICE and while they may empathize from their own experiences in your place they won't help you leave.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

HA. HA HA HA HA. It's KOKICHI, and you've got his ATTENTION, good fucking luck you'll NEED IT.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He's used to this like I've stated before, he knows how to straddle this line. You'll have your own room with a connected bathroom though no windows, at the start its mostly just a long ankle chain that gives enough movement to move around and to the bathroom without issue or help. This also lets you shower and do personal grooming without his help, unless he wants to help you to further your affection for him by brushing your hair or doing your makeup. Your food and clothes are all supplied by Kokichi's whims, but you'll often have multiple options unless you've earned a punishment. Though you may wish he took a bit more privileges when you find out he's fully intending to make you exercise to stay healthy in your room, he is making you do jumping jacks with a chain around your leg, what the hell dude.

You wont be able to leave your room without him being there, or go online, or know the time. You won't even be able to guess because food seemingly comes randomly and with no real pattern to how long it feels. He's fully intending to confuse you on how long its been. He's found its easier if most things for them are normal as usual with a few key things to throw them off and keep them from being fully comfortable without Kokichi. Conditioning, not just for your hair!

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

You have to follow DICE rules, but beyond that you have to listen to him, not be stupid, not give anyone outside him or DICE too much attention, don't try to escape, don't tell anyone, tell Kokichi the truth always unless it's funny.

Punishments are usually more mental then physical, nagging you for failing and how disappointed he is, along with a removal of things you like from your room. Say goodbye to the PS5!

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

Even as a yandere, DICE's no kill rule stands strong. He won't maim rivals, just bother them until they can't take it anymore. Legos everywhere, needles in shoes, stealing their credit card, it's a death of a thousand cuts.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

Not easy, it's easy to make them pretend to be upset and guilt trip the hell out of you. Actually mad though takes quite some time or hitting very specific buttons. Kokichi has a bit of a temper though, so when he does get angry he gets VERY angry, and the only reason he doesn't hurt you is he has enough of control of himself to leave the room slamming the door behind him. Do not push him past that.

Do they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

Beneath you but in an affectionate way, a new beloved minion.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

Very determined, you will love them, you will join DICE, you will be his heart and soul, he will have your loyalty.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

The fact he's capable of maintaining multiple obsessions, all of DICE is his obsession and he can and will find new people to obsess over while still obsessing over you and the rest of DICE.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

Very low sex drive and honestly very little interest in it, asexual king. If you were into it he doesn't mind being your stone top, but beyond that? Eh.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Not interested unless you are, so unless you want to roleplay that, he doesn't care to do anything like that

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

If you are going to have him fuck you or just do nonsexual kink, he's really into things that don't involve a mess and a show of dominance. Things like Shibari, or Collars, or Human Furniture. His most intense one is body modification stuff though, you let him pierce your ears and put in earrings he chose and he is going to be paying INTENSE attention to you with wide blown out eyes.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

Not overly interested, it's already busy around DICE headquarters, maybe when he's older he might want a few kids with the members of DICE who can have kids

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

They wouldn't unless you were someone like Miu, if you were like Miu then he is going to edge the hell out of you.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Kokichi likes hands, how clever, quick, and sleek they are. He also really enjoys powerful lean legs, he's very much into traits that make you good at crime.

[former-leftist-jew]

i’m a little anxious to send this not on anon but i saw one of your posts where a comment mentioned jewish conversion and you seemed to support it. my boyfriend is jewish and i would like to convert to judaism but a lot of the research i’ve done says that you can’t convert, you have to be born into it since it’s an ethno-religion. i know everyone has different beliefs about this but i worry i won’t be accepted

Hello tyblackthornsheadphones, welcome!

"my boyfriend is jewish and i would like to convert to judaism"

Oooh! Mozel tov! I'm always so happy to meet new people who want to join the Jewish community! <3

"a lot of the research i’ve done says that you can’t convert, you have to be born into it since it’s an ethno-religion"

Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear that! D: There's so much misinformation being passed around online. :( Thankfully, I'm happy to report that those sources are incorrect: It IS possible to convert to Judaism. ^_^

Like any group, though, how friendly any given Jew is to potential Jewish converts depends on the individual and/or the group they belong in. Just as there's elitism and gatekeeping in every group of people ever (like high school cliques and video game circles--"you're not a REAL gamer unless X"), unfortunately you'll also find some snobbery, elitism, and gatekeeping in Judaism. :(

Though I think Rabbi Friedman has a very loving and accepting view of Jews by conversion. ^_^

The way I see it, the differing experiences of a "Jew-by-birth vs a Jew-by-conversion" can be comparable to an American citizen who was just born on American soil vs an American immigrant who had to go through a long and rigorous bureaucratic process to become an American citizen--they have to learn everything there is to know about American history, presidents, laws, customs, the legal system; spend a "probational period" living in America to become a naturalized citizen, etc.

(The Jewish religion used to be very conversion friendly, but that came to an end when Christianity and Islam became huge world powers who outlawed the Jewish community "tempting" good Christians or Muslims away from the One True Faith.

Jewish identity also used to be passed down from father to children in ancient times--as you'll see in the Torah--but that was changed by Hillel the Elder during the tyrannical reign of King Herod--yes, THAT King Herod! Hillel did this partly to give the children of Jewish mothers who were abandoned by their non-Jewish fathers a place in Jewish society, and he did this partly as a big old political "fuck you!" to King Herod, whose father was only nominally Jewish and his mother was a foreign gentile woman.)

Chabad is an Orthodox Jewish organization.

And here's a link from a Reform Judaism POV. ^_^

In my experience, Reform Jewish synagogues and organizations tend to be more accepting of and friendly to Jewish converts. (Though it's not universal! Sadly, there are snobs everywhere. D:)

So if I were you, I would just start with checking out some books on Judaism from your local library, attend Friday night or Saturday morning Shabbat services with your boyfriend (that's usually a time when non-Jewish guests attend).

If your local college has a Hillel or Chabad Jewish student organization, I would visit that too! They usually host fun events that are free and open to to all, especially students who're just interested in connecting with other Jewish students, and learning about Jewish identity. ^_^

In the meantime, I'd just take time to study and learn about Jewish history and culture just for fun.

I think Sam Aranow's "Jewish History" Youtube series is a very entertaining way to learn about Jewish history, from ancient to modern.

Unfortunately I have to go to work now, but if you have ANY other questions, please reach out to me! I LOVE sharing knowledge and resources about Judaism, especially to potential converts who show a genuine interest and curiosity.

(Jewish culture can be, in my opinion, not as accepting and welcoming of potential Jewish converts as they should be, and I want to make up the difference. ^_^ )

[beanghostprincess]

Yes! Please talk more about transfem!Usopp x Nami!!! Power couple!! You think they were annoying together when they were just friends? Its ten times worse now that they're dating <3<3<3<3

Anon, I can't thank you enough. I appreciate this ask so much because they've been living in my head rent free and if I don't talk about this I might collapse. I need it. So. Thank you. Really. I'm gonna add transfem!genderfluid!Sanji and Sanuso too, by the way, to the surprise of literally no one because I am obsessed with them. It's like. My whole online personality. Sanuso, Nami and being a lesbian.

Okay, first things first, transfem!Usopp. She has a hard time realizing she's a girl and accepting it, not because she thinks it's wrong or weird, but because she's so, so focused on being the guy her father would like (Yasopp, before going away, always told Usopp (s)he'd grow up to be an amazing man like him). Usopp still admires him and she doesn't want to be a disappointment. It's kind of dumb, but she has his words in her head all the time. Not to mention that "maybe if I had been that type of boy he would've stayed with us" and also the fact that Usopp just... It feels like lying to her mom, you know? Banchina always knew she had a daughter, but Usopp didn't know yet and never found out about her mom knowing, so she thinks that being a girl now only turns the years she spent with her mom into a lie because she wasn't truly herself. Again, irrational thinking, but it keeps her from accepting she's a girl. When she hangs out with Kaya she feels way better than when she is near guys. She feels safer. At home. Maybe it's just because they're best friends, really. Maybe it's just that being in love makes you feel like this. Safe. But Kaya knows. And sometimes, when they were 15 or so, they used to get drunk without anybody else knowing. And sometimes Usopp told her how nice it'd be to be a girl. Not to wear dresses and having cute stuff like Kaya, she- She wouldn't be like that. Or maybe she would. It's kind of a mix. "If I were a girl, which- Which I'm not, but just imagine for a moment. I'd be so fricking cool, right?" / "Usopp, sweetie-" / "I'd be the coolest woman in the world! Strong. With long hair, oh God, long hair. That would suit me, wouldn't it? And okay, not dresses, because, uh- They don't look comfy. But maybe long skirts. You know that green, long skirt my mom used to wear? That one. But the point is- Hear me out. Boobs. I like yours. They're nice" / "Thank you? Usopp! Please, let me speak-" / "I wish I had boobs. I don't want girly clothes, I really like my overalls. But- But they'd look great with boobs, wouldn't they? And-" / "Usopp!" / "Wha- What?" / "First, stop drinking. You've had enough, honey. And second... You know you can just... Be a girl, right?" / "Mm? Come again?" / "A girl. If you- You can trust me, alright? If you feel more comfortable being addressed as a girl-" / "No! No! Me? A girl? What? Nope. Never. I'm a man, what- What are you even saying? Kaya, babe, I- My dad-" / "Your dad? Usopp, this is about you. Follow your heart-" / "My heart tells me I'm a man. I swear. I'm not a liar".

She has always been one, but she wasn't sober enough for the words to make sense to her. It did hurt to say it, though.

So Usopp joins the Strawhats knowing something is weird about her gender but never quite accepting it. Until she starts spending more time with Nami. The thing about Nami is that she's extremely feminine but unapologetically a menace to society and she doesn't give a fuck about what other people think. She's strong in her own way and she's the smartest person Usopp has ever met. She's gorgeous, too, it makes Usopp wonder what the hell she's doing with this crew when she would rule the world on her own. So she's... She's the girliest of girls and yet she manages to be extremely ruthless and scary too. It's kind of the perfect mix. And it's not that Usopp accepts instantly that she's a girl, but Nami helps quite a lot. Who makes her realize, though, surprisingly, is Sanji.

These are two different stories, you know, but the point right now is that Sanji treats women differently. We all know this. And Usopp isn't sure when it starts. Maybe Skypiea? Water 7? Perhaps even a little bit earlier. But she has this huge crush on Sanji and hates it. Because he's just a guy! Nami won't stop telling her, too. He's!!! He's so annoying!!! But-- But Usopp sees more of him than others do, and he's just so kind and self-sacrificing and he has the biggest heart in the world. So when Usopp sees him interacting with both Nami and Robin and, you know, all the girls he meets... She thinks "Oh, that'd be nice" and it turns into a "Oh. Oh, fuck. Fuuuuuck. Nooooo" because she just realized that imagining herself as a girl being treated as such is not normal man behavior. She comes to terms with that thanks to Nami, because she's the first person she comes out to. She opens up her heart to her best friend. She tells her everything about her parents and her experience with Kaya and how badly she wants to be seen as a girl but doesn't know if people would like her that way. If people would be disappointed. But Nami? Nami loves Usopp deeply. Nobody has ever trusted Nami so much before. it kind of makes her want to cry, so she hugs Usopp to hide the tears a little bit. Usopp hugs her back even tighter. Long story short, Nami makes her see that being a girl is so much more than what people think, and that nobody in the crew would ever think less of her for that. And by the way: "Really? Sanji?" / "He's- He's cute, okay? I know he's a moron but you know how he is" / "I know. I know, don't worry, sweetie. It could be worse".

MEANWHILE! While Usopp was falling for Sanji and coming to terms with her gender, Nami was having a sexuality crisis! She's a lesbian. She's always been a lesbian. She has always known, ever since she was a kid. She has never liked a man that way. Never will. But- But Usopp. You know? But Usopp. They've always been a duo. From moment one. They've always been so, so close. She feels a connection to her (him, at that moment for Nami, but you know) in a way she has never felt before. They have intimate moments she can't quite explain and she never wants to use any romantic labels here because she's a lesbian. She's not supposed to see Usopp that way? But it's not even sexual or anything she's not- She's not attracted to her but if she wanted to she would and if they kissed she wouldn't move away and- And, okay, it's just weird. And when Water 7 happens she knows she's completely, utterly fucked. Because the second she leaves the crew? That's the moment Nami knows she's losing the love of her life (one of them. Vivi is her long-distance girlfriend and is also the love of her life). So imagine her face. When Usopp comes to her to tell her she's a girl (yay! Sexuality crisis solved. Nami's gaydar is awesome. But also- Fuck, she's in love with her best friend) and that she's in love with Sanji. In love. With Sanji. Of all people. And she's in love with him. And not her. And it kind of kills Nami. But they're best friends. She's supposed to help. So she deals with Usopp's drama all the time, pining in the background as she sees this new relationship happen in front of her.

Okay, So Usopp comes out to crew. And guess who was having another sexuality crisis at the same time as Nami? Exactly, Sanji. So everything makes sense right now, and Usopp and Sanji start dating not so long after Usopp comes out. Usopp starts dressing a bit more fem sometimes, everyone of course starts seeing her with different eyes, she moves to the girl's room... Etc, etc. Sanji and Usopp are-- Awfully clingy. It's horrible to witness. Nami is going through the worst time of her life because Usopp right now is the happiest woman ever and,, And Nami should be happy for her. She should move on. But they won't stop kissing everywhere. And hugging. And Sanji pays way more attention to Usopp now, so, okay, whatever, less snacks for her too, to hurt her even more. Nami and Usopp often have private talks together in the middle of the night. They always do. They literally sleep in the same fucking bed which is, the worst thing right now because Usopp is touchy and clingy when she sleeps. And sometimes she spends hours talking about Sanji and- And Nami can't stand having her so close yet so far. And most of the time she can't even stand the sight of Sanji himself. But she has to live with it. She wishes Vivi was here.

So, we have Sanuso dating. Transfem!Usopp being extremely happy right now. And Nami having the worst moment of her life. Yeah?

Well. There's MORE.

Because of course, Sanji and Usopp have THE talk about Nami. Because we all know Sanji loves her to death and isn't sure how... Usopp feels about that. Long story short, after a very brief but emotional conversation, they both realize they're in love with Nami. So. Fucking hilarious. Because they can't make her just?? Join their relationship, right???

Well, things happen.

While everything was going on, Sanji was having a gender crisis. I don't need to explain much about this because we all know how trans-coded Sanji's story is, so I'll just say: Genderfluid Sanji realizing in the timeskip that she wants to have a more normative fem body (Ivankov we love you). She goes by any pronouns but, you know, it changes and she usually prefers she/her but she's alright with whatever. Usopp coming out to the crew truly helped her realize what she wanted. Usopp and... Also Nami. Basically for the same reasons Usopp has. I have a whole post about this. The point is! The timeskip happens and Sanji comes back with a different body and comes out to the crew. Usopp comes back, still in love with Sanji and Nami (idk if they get help from Ivankov or if it's Chopper the one who helps or maybe even Law, but they help her transition. Choose your fav. The girlie wants boobs, I don't care how she gets them). And Nami comes back, still in love with Usopp but finally accepting their relationship. Well, jokes on all of them, because there's more drama.

Whole Cake Island is... It's fucking awful. Sanji comes back to a family that doesn't love her and just wants to play with her feelings. They make her act like somebody she isn't. They make her pretend to be a boy and bind her chest and it's,, Leaving Luffy. Leaving the crew. Leaving Usopp and Nami. It's killing her. While she tortures herself this way, Usopp begs Nami to bring Sanji back with her. And Nami-- When they were at Zou with Sanji. The time she spent with her without Usopp and the others around. Sanji smiling at them before sacrificing herself. Nami is starting to feel things she thought she would never feel for Sanji. And while Usopp waits in Wano, Nami goes to look for Sanji. And when the fight with Luffy happens, she's angry. She's angry at Sanji for treating them this way. She's hurt because she knows this isn't her Sanji if Sanji was even hers in the first place. She's frustrated because she can't do anything to fix this. And she's furious, too, at herself, because she just found out she's in love with Sanji too. So imagine this poly lesbian realizing she can't be with the ones she loves because they're already in a relationship and one of them just left their fucking crew.

WCI happens and... Okay. This is probably Nami's fault. Or Sanji's. Nobody knows who leans in first but right after WCI, they kiss. It's short and sweet and soft and Nami won't stop crying because Sanji is finally back and she won't let her go. Never again. But she's now panicking and Sanji will probably die from a heart attack because she just kissed Sanji??? And Sanji has a girlfriend??? And her girlfriend is also Nami's best friend??? And she just happens to be in love with her too??? So Nami does the most reasonable thing ever and runs away without explaining anything. Yay. She's sure, once they get to Wano, that Sanji will tell Usopp and they're going to hate her forever. She's not used to this! She usually has everything under control! She's losing her mind. God.

But... But Sanji just experienced the one thing he's been waiting for for years??? God, she needs to tell Usopp right away. Wano happens and it's not like they have much time for talking. Sanji is still going through her, um, 'bring on more past trauma' era, so it's pretty difficult. And Nami spends Wano all the time with Usopp and it's so, so hard not to focus constantly on the fact that she has kissed Sanji. And she's about to die when she's fighting against Ulti and sees her whole life passing right before her eyes so she realizes, then, that she has to be honest with both Sanji and Usopp if she gets out of there. When she actually survives she kind of hates herself for making that promise. Yadda yadda, post-Wano happens. They're all partying, still there, and Nami tries to distract herself from all this drama because if she thinks more about it she might end up having a breakdown. But Sanji and Usopp do talk and- And they need to approach this. Usopp is a bit hurt that perhaps Nami only wants Sanji, but she can deal with it. If Nami wants to be with Sanji, that's completely fine with them. So they have the talk, finally, in a private corner of the festival where nobody they know is around.

Nami starts uncharacteristically apologizing? Which is weird for her to act like that, but she does. She's lost so many people already and she refuses to let that happen again. So she apologizes. She should've never kissed Sanji and- And what's even worse is that she's also in love with Usopp. With both. And it makes her look so selfish and greedy and she swears it isn't like that. Her feelings are genuine. But then Usopp starts?? Laughing??? She finds this whole situation hilarious and explains that they've been stupid the whole time.

So, uh, yeah. They're idiots. This is biblically accurate because lesbians are always like this. We do not know how to communicate.

They're all,, So relieved. So, so happy. They won't stop smiling. And Usopp is honestly feeling a bit left out because?? She hasn't yet kissed Nami??? So they finally kiss. And then they kiss again. And Sanji joins. And they're the cutest thing on earth. And telling the crew is just as easy as Franky seeing them like that, telling him... And the word spreads fast enough.

This is getting long but, basically: They're the clingiest throuple in the whole world. If they were all annoying at first, imagine how annoying they are now. At this point, there's no "girls' room" anymore because Robin has moved to sleep with Franky, so Sanji, Usopp, and Nami have their own room. Which is good for literally all the crew because imagine having to deal with them. Sanji is so loud about her love for her girls... She's constantly showering them equally with love and cooking their favorite meals. She's always panicking a bit because she wants to give attention to both but sometimes Usopp is in her workshop and Nami is taking care of her trees so what is she supposed to do??!!! She wishes she could be everywhere at the same time... They end up telling her to do whatever she wants and follow her heart and split her time because they know she loves them equally and she doesn't need to prove anything. For Nami, dating her best friend and the person she thought was incredibly annoying at first is... Weird. She isn't used to so much affection from Sanji. Like, reciprocating the affection and loving him back. It's weird because now he isn't annoying at all but incredibly sweet? And her relationship with Usopp is pretty much the same except that now they kiss and hold hands and whenever Nami is like "Zoro! Carry me!" he always goes "Tell one of your girlfriends to do it" and it sucks because tbh Zoro does look like he has comfy muscles to rest on. Usopp is so excited about this! She loves both of them deeply she never thought this would happen. She sends letters to Kaya constantly about them, too! They're just,,, So so sweet. They go to sleep together and wake up cuddling and all tangled up. Usopp and Nami do gardening together but they always end up making out behind the trees. Sanji and Nami try to be casual about it but Sanji just loves showing all the love she has for her girlfriend to the world so PDA is something assured. Sanji and Usopp always spend the night watches together (Nami doesn't because it's comfier in bed and bold of you to assume she's getting out of there). Usopp gets stronger and toned post-ts and Nami and Sanji are always sitting on top of her. Sanji has a lot of issues going on after what happened in WCI/Wano and both Usopp and Nami help them go through their panic attacks. Usopp draws them all the time and has her whole sketchbook filled with drawings of her partners. Nami always peels the best tangerines from her trees and brings them to them even though Sanji insists on being the one doing it, but Nami says that sometimes she needs to be the one eating and not just serving. They share clothes constantly, but they have different clothing styles so sharing clothes pretty much happens either on accident or whenever they want to make Sanji go insane. Usopp leaves notes and drawings for them all over the ship. Nami is always offering to put makeup on them but it's always an excuse to be close. She also often falls asleep while working on her maps so they have to carry her to their room without waking her up. Nami loves brushing Usopp's hair!! Sanji absolutely adores feeding them sometimes like, playfully, and you can imagine how that ends. Oh!!! And Usopp is always giving them flowers. Not to mention that Nami often creates rainbows for them because they're pretty!! Also, when the fight isn't that serious, both Usopp and Nami act like they need saving because they know how much Sanji adores playing the hero. Usopp tells them stories while they paint each other's nails and talk shit about other people together.

This is the best relationship ever because it's just three best friends to lovers. My absolute beloved. I have a lot of,,, More ideas for them,,, But yeah,,,, Thank you so much for this ask. I love talking about them.