#way more. Ditto is better than First

[wickymicky]

in 2020 and 2021 i came up with Top Ten lists for my favorite kpop songs of the year, and i wrote reviews of each of them, just talking about how they really defined the year for me, what they meant to me and stuff. i didnt do it last year, and i might this year, but tbh i might literally just write about Ditto. it's my number 1 song and i have so, so, so, so much to say about it. i've been preparing for this for 365 days lol. i have things i could say about the other 9 songs that i have picked out, but i might just write about Ditto only

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Touch Tank

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 5.5k (look it wasn't supposed to be this many- my characters got away from me)

Warnings: sheesh, oral (f receiving), fingering, handjob, creampie, Loki is very soft and worshiping, unprotected sex (be safe) I think that's it idk this is kind of mild compared to some of my other stuff- could be waaaay more raunchy lmao

Genre: fluff, smut

Summary: Loki is not the easiest person to get close to, but you're not deterred by his standoffishness. He deserves a friend in the tower and you're determined to be at least that much.

He's so pretty when he goes down on me // he tells me he's gentle when he wants to be // I think he wants to be gentle with me ~ Touch Tank by Quinnie

***

You rush down the hall, excited for your night out with a group of your non-Avenger friends. You make a point to see your other friends as often as you can to balance those relationships with your ones on the team. After all, living with the Avengers means that you see them all the time, but being an Avenger is not all there is to you. Walking into the main room you're surprised to see Loki sitting at the kitchen counter, just kind of staring at nothing.

"You alright Lo?" You ask him carefully. Your question seems to pull him out of whatever trance he was in.

"I'm fine." He says, though his face isn't convincing.

"Okay? Happy staring- I'm going out so- I'll see you later then." You frown heading over to the main elevator. Loki's not exactly close to anyone in the tower except Thor, and even that he'd argue is false but you always make a point to include him even when the others ignore him a bit. As you ride down to street level you can't help but wonder what has him so pensive up there by himself. On the street, waiting for a taxi to flag down, you can't get yourself to shake Loki from your mind so- reluctantly you dial one of your friends.

"Y/n!" Your friend's excited voice practically yells down the line.

"Hey! Listen, you know I hate to do this, and I wouldn't if it wasn't important, but I'm not going to be able to make it out tonight, something's come up. I'm okay, I just can't come. You guys have fun! I want loads of pictures and a play-by-play once one of you returns to life tomorrow yeah?"

"Aw we're gonna miss you!"

"Ditto! But I'll see you guys soon! Tell the girls I said hi!" You say.

"Of course! Take care, and call if you need anything!"

"Same to you!" You blow a kiss as you end the call and sigh. "Dammit Loki." You roll your eyes as you turn around and go back inside. You ride the elevator back up to the main floor where Loki is still sitting at the counter. You knock on the counter in front of him and grab a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Aren't you meant to be going somewhere?" Loki's eyes narrow at you.

"I was, but I called my friend on my way down and she's actually not feeling too hot so we decided it'd be best to reschedule once she's feeling better." You shrug. You know better than to tell him you cancelled your plans because you saw him moping at the counter. He'd flip at the first possible hint of you pitying him, even though that isn't what this is.

"I see."

"Do you want to watch a movie or something?" You offer.

"What?" He scoffs.

"Well- I was supposed to be spending time interacting with people tonight and that fell through but I'd feel kinda bummed if I spent the whole evening alone now after all the mental prep to be social so if you can be so terribly bothered to hang out for a bit I'd- value that." You say. Loki looks you over as he considers your words and then he sighs.

"I suppose I could spare a few hours, but only because I can't stand watching you mope around the tower the way you do whenever you're disappointed, it's pathetic. But this favor is a huge inconvenience to me I just want you to know that." He says and you have to fight the urge to smile. You know the show of bravado is for his own sake more than anything, and you're willing to let him have it, but it's funny to think of how much rationalizing he's doing to convince himself it's alright to spend time with you.

"Your sacrifice is both duly noted and greatly appreciated. I can offer you compensation in the form of a meal or freshly baked cookies." You say. Loki's eyes light up very briefly at the offer of cookies, he'll never admit it out loud but he loves your baking, he always eats almost half a tray when you make them.

"You know Midgardian food has very little appeal to me, but I suppose a batch of cookies will do." He says with feigned disinterest.

"Do you want them now or at a later date?"

"I have no interest in dragging this out, so now would be better."

"Alright, give me five minutes to change, I'll make you some cookies and we can throw on a movie." You smile at him. You change out of your dress and into a hoodie and shorts. Twenty minutes later you're sat with a tray of cookies and a few other small bites with some random sitcom on the TV.

"I don't understand the point of this. Is there even a plotline?" Loki scoffs.

"Yes but only a little one."

"A little one?"

"So there are a number of shows that you can throw on and watch out of order with little consequence. Like if you do watch every episode in order there is a throughline of like character development and life changes but if you jump into, let's say, season 3 episode 2, you'll just see some funny little antics that are mostly inconsequential and chances are will not come up again until maybe the finale where they recount all their little goofs over the years." You explain.

"Why?"

"Mindless entertainment? It's nice to have something to watch that you don't have to be aware of watching." You shrug. "Lots of shows have complex storylines and characters that need to be paid attention to in order to comprehend what you're watching. Sometimes you don't want to do all of that." You shrug.

"If you don't want to think about what you're watching, why watch anything?" He frowns.

"Pass the time, fill the silence, any number of things. Like we have one on but we're talking now so we're not really paying it any attention, but because it's a sitcom we're not missing anything vital because there's nothing vital to miss. And when this conversation lulls to a stop we'll just tune back in and pick up wherever it's at."

"Your Midgardian habits are very strange." Loki hums.

"What do you do when you're bored and want to be entertained without much effort?" You ask him.

"That specific phenomenon I'm not quite familiar with. If I'm bored, I read, practice spells, on Asgard there wasn't much time for boredom." He shrugs.

"Well, things are different on Midgard. And seeing as you hate everyone and everything about this place you may find yourself well acquainted with that specific phenomenon sooner than you might think." You say.

You gotta say you're pretty proud of your ability to interact positively with Loki. When he first started living here you never would've guessed you'd be watching movies and having silly conversations like this. He's always been rather closed off from the team but perhaps that's something you can actually work around.

*~*~*

"Loki!" You call when you catch him in the hall.

"What?" He rolls his eyes.

"Are you busy?" You ask.

"Why?" His eyes narrow suspiciously.

"Well I was meant to go to the aquarium with Thor today-"

"Thor is on Asgard." Loki says.

"Yes exactly." You nod. You weren't meant to do anything with Thor today, but it seems the key to the trickster god is minor deceptions.

"Did he forget you were going to this 'aquarium' today?"

"It would appear so. Which- I'm not mad about really but these tickets did cost money and I can't exchange them for another date so I was hoping you'd be able to replace him that way the ticket doesn't go to waste." You explain to him.

"You don't have anyone else you could ask?" He huffs.

"Not on such short notice." You shake your head.

"How short is short notice?"

"We need to be there in forty minutes."

"Oh you have got to be kidding me." Loki scoffs.

"If you come with me, when we get back I'll bake you a batch of cookies." You offer. It seems to be the easiest way to get him to do things. You watch Loki contemplate for a moment before he caves to his inner discussion although you're not sure there was much of a debate once you offered baked goods.

"Very well, I'll go so you don't waste your money, but you can't keep bringing your nonsense to me in exchange for cookies." He says.

"Of course not!" You smile knowing damn well you will be doing it again if you see fit. Loki will never admit to enjoying your company or wanting you to make him cookies, but considering he always accepts your offers and never truly complains when you're together, you know the irritation is only a front. "We'll leave in 15 minutes 'kay?"

"Very well." He says. You head back to your room to get yourself together and 15 minutes later you meet Loki by the kitchen.

"Ready Lo?" You ask.

"Yes let's get on with it." He says. You loop your arm through his as you leave the tower and you're surprised he doesn't protest the contact, but you won't bring it up. At the aquarium, you excitedly talk about all your favorite exhibits as you walk from section to section. "So what was the plan exactly?" Loki asks.

"What?"

"With Thor, why were you bringing him here in the first place?"

"Oh! Well because there's a lot he still wants to learn about Earth so I've been trying to take him places where he can learn a number of things at the same time." You shrug.

"And how is that going?"

"We've done the zoo and a couple of museums already so I'd say not bad. Oh, we're by the jellyfish, you should see the touch tank!" You say.

"The what now?" Loki frowns. You grab his hand and lead him to the shallow tank of water off to one side.

"This is a touch tank. These are jellyfish, they're like 95% water and don't have brains, some of them are dangerous, but these ones are pretty harmless and you can touch them! Only on the tops of their heads though. Like this." You lift his hand up and push down all but two of his fingers and then slowly, you guide his hand into the water. "You have to be gentle." You tell him softly as you let his fingers touch the top of a moon jelly in the pool. You turn to Loki with a small smile only to find him already looking at you very intensely.

"I'm quite gentle when I want to be." He says quietly. You step back a bit and clear your throat, dipping your own fingers in to touch a jellyfish for yourself.

"Well I hope you want to be gentle with the moon jellies. This is one of my favorite things here." You tell him.

"So anyone can just walk up and pet the jellyfish?" 

"Yeah! Isn't it cool?"

"Sure." He nods.

"Wait till you see some of the other Jellyfish they've got here! They're insane!" You take his hand again and walk further into the jellyfish exhibit.

"They have more open tanks of creatures?"

"Oh- no all the other Jellyfish are in closed tanks." You giggle.

"Just as well, you said some are dangerous, no?"

"Well, yes, but aren't they just so beautiful?" You say looking at one of the tanks.

"Breathtaking." Loki says before he can help himself. He clears his throat, lucky you're so captivated with the floating water creatures that you don't even notice his eyes on you as opposed to the exhibits.

"Thank you for coming with me." You tell him.

"You bribed me."

"True- but you still could have said no. Especially since you're not even a fan of our, how do you say it? 'Mediocre Midgardian food'."

"Yes well, you pout when you're disappointed and it's incredibly displeasing to see. The whole tower suffers your moods. And while Midgardian food is mediocre yours is- the least. Plus I can rub this in Thor's face."

"I see you really weighed those pros and cons." You chuckle.

"I must. If I'm to disrupt my entire afternoon on such short notice." He shrugs. You roll your eyes and pull him through to the next exhibit but the smile on your face can't be hidden.

~*~*~

You hum to yourself as you enter the tower library.

"Good morning Loki." You say immediately spotting him on one of the lounge chairs. He's always in here, it's like his sanctuary and over the last few weeks you've found it easy to interact with him.

"It's 3pm y/n."

"It's morning somewhere Lo, time is arbitrary, don't be a grump." You shrug.

"What are you doing here anyway?" He rolls his eyes.

"Utilizing the insane collection of books we have considering there's only like 3 people living here that would ever pick up a book for from here."

"You've been coming here a lot lately."

"Why should you be the only one taking advantage of this big otherwise undisturbed room?"

"The best part of this room is that none of you come here."

"If you want to not run the risk of having to interact with anyone who lives here to might I suggest your room which has a lock on it." You smile brightly.

"Very funny." Loki scoffs.

"I thought so too!" You snap back. Loki gives you a dry look.

"Must you be so-"

"Charming? Witty? Adorable?"

"Not quite the adjectives I would've chosen." He says.

"Well next time finish your sentence." You wink at him.

"Are you trying to get under my skin?"

"Of course not! But it's pretty easy."

"Why must you bother me?" His eyes narrow.

"Maybe because you like talking to me more than you want to admit."

"And why would you think that?"

"Because you always do."

"Do what?"

"I'm sure you can figure that out." You say turning to leave the library.

"Do what y/n!?" He calls after you. "You didn't even get a book!" He shouts as the library doors close behind you. Loki frowns to himself for a moment and then decides to contact the only person he'd ever go to for advice on any subject. A looking glass spell slowly brings Frigga to life above his palm.

"Mother." He gets her attention.

"Loki?" Frigga picks up her looking glass with a smile. "Hello my darling boy. So lovely to hear from you. Thor tells me you're well."

"In the physical sense, yes." Loki nods.

"What troubles you my dear son?"

"I think Midgardian women might be more confusing than those on Asgard." Loki says.

"A woman? Do you feel for her?"

"Don't be ridiculous mother." Loki's words come out as a breathless chuckle.

"It is not ridiculous. She plagues your mind. Why, if you do not feel for her?"

"Truthfully I'm not sure." He frowns.

"Have you considered that you feel for her?"

"How would I know?"

"I believe the fact that you are asking may perhaps be a strong indicator already. This girl, do you see her often?"

"She lives here so yes." He nods.

"I mean intentionally darling." Frigga smiles.

"What?"

"Walking past her in the hallways is not quite what I'm referring to."

"Oh- well she's the least insufferable person here so- sometimes, yes. Though it's usually her bribing me to do things when her other plans fall through."

"What do you mean?"

"Well she invited me to this water creature house they call an aquarium a couple of weeks ago because Thor forgot he was meant to go with her."

"Are you sure Thor was meant to go with her?" She asks.

"I don't follow." Loki shakes his head.

"I wonder if this girl is playing tricks on my trickster." Frigga smiles knowingly.

"Do you overestimate her or underestimate me to believe I could be outsmarted by a mortal?"

"It is not a blow Loki, be calm my son. She plagues your mind when she is not there, she has made her way to a spot many people never have the pleasure of knowing within you. I believe she has stolen your heart and even you do not know it yet."

"What makes you think that?"

"In all your years Loki you have never once asked me about a girl. And this one seems to have you quite... wrapped."

"I resent that notion." He scoffs.

"What made you contact me?"

"Well she was-" Loki stops himself, his mother has already decided Loki is a goner, perhaps he shouldn't feed her any more information.

"She was with you Loki?"

"I spend a lot of time in the library. She came by and we had a short conversation that's all."

"What did she say?" Frigga asks.

"She thinks I like her more than I do. Or rather more than I will admit. I asked her why and she refused to answer."

"Well- what would lead her to believe that?"

"I have no idea." Loki scoffs.

"How is your relationship with her different than with the others?"

"I don't speak to the others. I only speak to her and Thor."

"Tell me about her."

"She is- happy, but not like Thor- his happiness is loud and aggressive she is- a calmer happiness. She seems to be crucial to the peace in this madhouse. Not for me, for everyone. She's also frustratingly smart, she has a comeback for everything and- it's nice to feel as though someone on this dreadful planet can match me- even if I find it vexing at times. Also she bakes- I don't quite enjoy Midgardian food but her treats are quite good though I refuse to tell her that-"

"I'm sure she knows." Frigga says with a soft smile.

"Why are you smiling like that."

"If you could see your face when you speak of this girl you would know like I know that your heart is no longer yours."

"My heart is very much still-"

"No darling. You may not realize but your mind has already given your heart to her. Follow your heart to her. Allow yourself to go there. It will do you good and you deserve it."

"Mother I cannot." He shakes his head.

"You can, and I suggest you do soon. If you do not tell her she has your heart you risk her unknowingly breaking it. Though I sense she is more aware than you may think. Certainly she's more aware than you are."

"You keep saying that-"

"There was no day planned with Thor. I would bet money she wanted to go with you, but you are a tricky thing. To catch fox you must think like one."

"What do I do mother? If you are right and this girl does have me, what do I do?" Loki asks.

"Be kind, be honest, be true. Don't wait too long." Frigga warns.

"Don't wait too long?" He frowns.

"Yes child, that woman will not wait forever for you to wake up."

"What if she is not waiting?"

"You misunderstand. I'm not saying she is waiting on you to come to your senses what I'm saying is that affections change one day she may not enjoy your time as she does now, someone serious may woo her and you miss your chance entirely, stars forbid it but something could happen to her or you. Do not get in your own way Loki, you have a tendency to do that."

"I do not get in my own way."

"Loki." Frigga says, leveling her son with an unimpressed look.

"I will consider your advice mother thank you." Loki cedes.

"Good. I will expect an update soon so be prepared for me to check in."

"Of course mother. Take care."

"You too my son." Frigga sets her looking glass down and Loki disconnects his end of the spell with a sigh. If Frigga is correct, Loki has much to consider, and rather quickly based on her warnings.

*~*~*

When the door to the library opens you don't bother looking up. The book you're reading is far too interesting to stop mid-page.

"What are you doing?" Loki jumps when he walks passed you. You look up momentarily, debating how badly you want to make a stupid joke.

"I'm practicing my backhand spring." You say flatly.

"You're sitting on the couch?"

"I'm also holding a book and yet you asked what I'm doing. I don't know what answer you expected honestly." You shrug.

"I just meant you're not usually sitting around in here."

"Is reading in the library that odd to you?" You chuckle.

"Well- no. I was just expecting the library to be empty." He says.

"Would you like me to leave?"

"Why would you offer to leave? You were here first."

"Yeah but I can read anywhere. Your hermit tendencies limit your spaces far more than mine."

"I am not a hermit." Loki rolls his eyes.

"Of course not." You hum.

"I'm not. I just have no desire to waste my time having unintelligent conversations with the uncultured morons that live here."

"Well don't let me bother you then."

"Not you, the others. And you can obviously stay."

"Why thank you for deeming me worthy enough to stay in your presence." You quip dramatically.

"It's not as if you care what I deem anyhow."

"True, that was sarcasm. Happy reading." You turn your attention back to your book and though Loki would like the conversation to continue he can't think of anything to say to justify pulling your focus from the book you're so clearly captivated by. You're in the library with your book for a few more hours and during that time Loki cannot help the way his eyes wander to you every so often, he doesn't even realize it's happening at first but once he does his mother's words that have been in his head for the past 2 weeks ring even louder.

~*~*~

"Y/n!" Wanda practically sings as she walks, no from the sound of it she's skipping, over to you at the kitchen island.

"Yes Wanda my dear?" You chuckle, setting your sandwich back on its plate.

"You know our coffee shop?"

"Around the block?"

"Yep!" She nods.

"What of it?"

"Well I heard through the grapevine that someone who works there has a crush on you."

"You heard- through the grapevine?" You quirk up an eyebrow at her.

"Cassie told me."

"How did you end up in that conversation?" You chuckle.

"Not the point, we should go down there!" She suggests excitedly.

"I'm eating a sandwich-"

"Not right now, tomorrow morning."

"You wanna tell me- who this mystery crush is? Because I'm not going anywhere if you don't tell me." You say biting your sandwich.

"It's Elliot."

"Oh he's cute-"

"Wanda." Vision calls as the main elevator arrives.

"Soooo we'll game plan when I get back?" She asks walking backwards.

"Fine." You shake your head and chuckle as she disappears in the elevator with Vision. You take a bite of your sandwich, presumably alone again, only to hear a throat clearing from behind you. You look over your shoulder to find Loki the source of the sound.

"Oh hi Loki." You say covering your mouth.

"Hello." He mutters.

"What brings you out of hiding today?"

"I'm not a hibernating bear you know."

"Of course not." You hum. Loki opens the fridge to grab something to drink, although it's mostly just so he can convince himself to bite the bullet and confess to you before this 'Elliot' from the coffee shop has an opportunity to turn your head like his mother warned him of.

"Do you have a moment? I know you're- eating but I'd like to talk- about something." He says awkwardly.

"Sure. I can use multiple senses at once. What's up?" You ask taking another bite of your sandwich. Loki opens his mouth a couple of times before he frowns. "Is something wrong Loki?"

"I don't know." He says, brows furrowed as he looks at the floor.

"You don't know if something's wrong? Are you dizzy? Dehydrated? Feverish? Do you need to sit down?" You sit up, concerned.

"No, I don't."

"You sure? You look kind of- constipated. I think you should sit down."

"I don't want to y/n." He grits out.

"Okay, calm down no need to get angry with me for caring."

"You said I look constipated!"

"Well you do! But only a little bit!"

"This is not going at all how I planned it?"

"What are you on about Loki?" You frown.

"Nothing it was just way easier to do this in my head."

"Easier to do what?"

"Never mind. Enjoy your lunch." Loki pivots and you almost knock over your barstool trying to stop him from leaving the kitchen.

"Not so fast god of mischief tell me what it is you're so panicked about."

"It's nothing y/n." He rolls his eyes.

"Nonsense. If it were nothing you wouldn't have made such a big deal out of it in the first place." You tell him.

"Yes, I over reacted, which is what I just realized and why I'm no longer interested in having this conversation." He says completely avoiding your gaze.

"Don't be a coward Loki." You snap.

"I beg your pardon?" His eyes widen.

"Don't be a coward. I've never known you to shy away from sharing your thoughts even when nobody asked don't tell me suddenly you're incapable of speaking your mind."

"I am far from incapable." He says.

"So spill it." You push.

"And if I don't?"

"Then you're not who I thought you were."

"Over a personal thought?" His eyebrow raises.

"It's the principle. What have you got to lose that makes you so fearful of your own voice?"

"Something I didn't even realize was important to me until recently." He says quietly.

"What's that?" You ask. Loki's eyes scan your face for a long moment, and if not for how close you are you'd swear he's holding his breath for how shallow it is.

"You." He whispers.

"I'm not going anywhere." You shake your head.

"I'm afraid you may take that back if you hear that which I refuse to say." He says.

"Is the reward worth the risk?" You ask.

"If I'm lucky."

"I'm disappointed that you see me as someone so easily run off Loki."

"That's not what this is." He shakes his head.

"No? It sounds like it."

"Do you see me as somebody that could be loved?"

"Of course I do. Thor loves you unconditionally. Your mother too from what I've heard."

"Do you see me as somebody that could be loved, by you?" This question is far more hesitant.

"Is that what you want?"

"In time, yes." He nods and a stray giggle escapes your lips.

"That's what you thought would drive me away?!" You shake your head. "Maybe you haven't noticed but I put quite a bit of effort into creating time to spend with you."

"Oh come on it's mostly coincidence, your friends canceling or Thor forgetting you had plans."

"You silly trickster. I chose to spend that time with you." You say.

"To be clear- does that mean you're as taken with me as I am with you?" Loki asks.

"You're taken with me?!" You blink at him in shock.

"Yes was I not clear about-"

"I'm joking Loki I just wanted to hear you say it directly." You smile.

"You vex me." He breathes out.

"And yet you like me anyway. Even more than I expected."

"Don't boast."

"How can I not?" You ask.

"I can think of a few ways to stop you."

"You can try Loki but I'm not so easily swayed." You taunt. Loki's hand comes up to your cheek and he kisses you. His lips are soft and he kisses you as if he's got all the time in the world. When Loki pulls away your eyes flutter open with surprise.

"How's that for sway?" He smirks.

"I'll admit that wasn't a terrible start." You breathe.

"Oh yeah?" Loki lifts you into his arms suddenly and you squeal in surprise as he carries you to his room. He lays you gently on his bed and kisses you again. "Not a terrible start is not enough." He hums trailing to your neck, peppering your throat with kisses and light nibbles. Loki pulls your shirt over your head. "Stars above you're beautiful." He mutters trailing his fingers delicately across your newly exposed skin.

"I'm not a flower you know." You giggle, the soft touches making you feel ticklish.

"What do you mean?" He frowns.

"Nothing bad. You're just being much more gentle than I'd have expected." You tell him caressing his face. He pauses for a moment as you trace his features.

"Do you remember what I said at the aquarium?"

"About the hammerhead shark reminding you of-"

"No about being gentle you silly girl." He says with a disbelieving chuckle.

"Oh! Yes that you can be when you want to be."

"Precisely."

"I didn't realize it applied elsewhere."

"Do you not like gentle?"

"Gentle is good." You shake your head. "Just unexpected." You smile. Loki returns your smile and leans down to press kisses down your abdomen. He pulls your shorts and panties off together, kissing your calf ones you're freed from the fabric. Loki's eyes are on you as his lips glide up your leg, opened mouthed kisses until he reaches your thigh where he bites at the skin, just enough for you to feel it. With one last kiss to your hip, Loki buries his face in your heat. You gasp at the first feel of his tongue against your center. His movements are unhurried as he watches your reactions to his mouth. When he finds the rhythm that you react the strongest to he sticks to it, enjoying the whimpers and moans he pulls from you and the way your body grinds against him.

"Oh god." You pant, one hand tangling in his hair. When you feel two of his fingers slowly glide into your entrance and curl upwards your eyes shoot open with a whine that makes Loki hum against you. You glance down at him, surprised to see his green eyes peering up at you with something akin to adoration shining in them and despite the pleasure building in your belly all you can think about for a brief moment is how... pretty he looks. Of course, that train of thought is lost when Loki wraps his lips around your clit, focusing his attention on the sensitive bundle of nerves. Between his tongue and his fingers you don't have a chance of staving off the orgasm that washes over you soon after. Loki works you through it, only pulling away when your breathing starts to steady.

"You are a vision in the heat of release you know." He says a hand on your chin to guide your attention.

"No, I did not know that." You smile reaching up to undress Loki. You pull his shirt over his head, littering his chest with kisses as you undo his pants but don't pull them down. You slip your hand into the waistband of his underwear stroking his hard hot dick.

"F-fucking hell you might be the death of me." Loki breathes out shuddering beneath your touch.

"I sure hope not. I quite like you alive you know." You joke with a giggle. Loki grabs your wrist and shakily pulls your hand from him.

"Right, if this goes on I'll embarrass myself." He says with a slight chuckle shifting to pull his pants down enough to free himself. He lines himself with your entrance and slowly works himself passed your walls with short rolling thrusts, deeper each time.

"That's nothing to be embarrassed about you know Loki." You tell him, admittedly a bit winded as he fills you.

"Maybe not, but I'll admit it's not ideal for our first time together." He groans as he bottoms out.

"Don't get caught up in expectations Loki." You tell him.

"Only my own darling." He says. Loki holds still for a few moments, allowing you to adjust to his size, only moving when you begin to grind against him.

"Move, Loki, please." You groan. Loki lets out a breath as he starts a steady rhythm. He's immediately a string of groans and curses in your ear as he fucks you, his sounds mingling with yours beautifully.

"Gods you feel even better than I could've imagined." He pants out between thrusts.

"Don't stop baby. God you feel so good." You moan, grinding up against his hips to meet his movements. Loki reaches between your bodies and his fingers find your clit, rubbing tight circles against the bud that turn your quiet moans to loud whines.

"Come on darling, I want to feel you cum on my dick. Please y/n- let go for me." Loki coaxes, kissing at your throat again and it doesn't take long for your body to tense with the feeling of another orgasm. Loki groans deeply as your walls tighten around him from your release.

"Did you like that Loki? Feeling my pussy clench from cumming for you? You're close aren't you? Come on baby, cum for me."

Loki's thrusts speed up a bit, then falter, and stall altogether moments later as you feel the heat of his release inside you. Loki kisses your shoulder gently as he comes down from his orgasm, your fingers stroking his hair a comfort he wouldn't have thought he'd enjoy.

"You know- I know you were trying to get me to stop boasting but if boasting always ends with us like this I'm inclined to do it more often." You say after a few moments of silence and Loki chuckles against your neck.

"Boasting is not a prerequisite my darling." He says sitting up. Loki conjures a damp cloth and gently dabs first your face, then your neck, and carefully between your legs before helping you into his shirt.

"Well what is?" You ask.

"There isn't one you tricky girl." He chuckles pulling you into his chest.

"How am I the tricky one here?"

"You caught the fox, I think that's worth some tricky points."

"What fox? Are you the fox?"

"Mhm." He nods.

"Well- then that's by far the best thing I've ever caught." You smile up at him.

"The fox isn't complaining either." He hums and you cuddle closer to him. This hadn't exactly been your original gameplan with Loki but this is way better than any outcome you could've expected.

***

[embrosegraves]

𝕊𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝔾𝕠𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝔼𝕩𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕖

Oscar Piastri x Horner!Reader When Y/n isn't there for two races, Oscar discovers that he's far more attached than he thought he was. At least it's almost the mid-year break!

Warnings: my usuals :P

⋆Ember's Notes⋆ This is gonna be the last ABIN chapter until the end of the summer break. I would like to post thing in the interim but there's a few thing happening IRL (like me turning 20 next week !!!!) that might get in the way of that but we'll see. Enjoy <3

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After Silverstone

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yn.horner Mon-Thurs after #SilverstoneGP: Me and Liv, Monty loses at chess, made a cake with my goddaughter, misshoney.lemon being the bestest girl, and finally the boyfie <3 (not pictured is Bluebell, she's doing hot girl shit at Uni)

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HungarianGP

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oscarpiastri It's race week, but more importantly, it's missing my girlfriend hours

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user5425 We got Oscar Piastri publicly simping for his girlfriend before GTA6

user4282 Is your girlfriend single? Asking for a friend 👀👀

patooward where is the coffee machine from, and how much is it? -> oscarpiastri "Tell him, the coffee machine is a Breville and it cost just over a grand." here ya go -> patooward a thousand for a coffee machine??? better be worth it smh -> oscarpiastri It is so worth it trust me 🤤

user4587 Can't believe we have Pato and Oscar being friends in the year of our Lord 2024 -> user2149 honestlyyyyy I want more of this duo

aussiegrit Is she feeling any better? -> oscarpiastri Not heaps, but she says better than she was a few days ago

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redbullracing P2 and P4 as we end the first half of the season and head into the 3 week summer break 💪💪 what a performance!

#BelgianGP #redbullracing oscarpiastri maxverstappen1

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user2495 🫶🫶

user6409 Break only just begun and I already want it to end 🫠 -> redbullracing Ditto!

maxverstappen1 👍

oscarpiastri 👍

user5230 even Max and Oscar are ready for Y/n to be Admin again LMAOOOO

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TAGLIST (closed):

@barnestatic @fionaschicken @fanficweasley @sltwins @storminacloud @halleest @formulaal @ems-alexandra @iloveyou3000morgan @christianpulisic10 @fangirl-dot-com @nikfigueiredo @yourbane @purplephantomwolf @eternalharry @cherry-piee @starssfall @33-81 @jpg3 @marie0v @d3kstar @applopie @aquangxl @eugene-emt-roe @woozarts @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @1-800-simpingcowbaby @marshmummy @landossainz @alwaysboredsworld @mellowarcadefun @dannyleclerc @lozzamez3 @spookystitchery @scarlettwidow3000 @moldyshorts1997 @hiireadstuff @bearyyyy @evie-119 @hwalllllllelujah @nixily @generalnav @hdigditditdjgd @kqliie @lokideservesahug @littlegrapejuice @halfdeadsage @zzzhealy @illicitverstappen

[st4rbe0m]

PAIRING ▸ Choi Yeonjun x reader

SUMMARY ▸ On a hazy summer evening, where the air hung low above everyone like a buzzing, heated static, you met Choi Yeonjun in a new light. And he met you, not for the first time maybe, but definitely in a more impacting way. A second, first meeting. And with that second, first meeting came the idea to strike a deal - a mutual agreement to help both parties out favorably, till the end of summer. Luckily, or unluckily, it just so happens that the summer doesn't last forever.

GENRE ▸ strangers to lovers, highschool au, fake dating au, suggestive scenes, includes kissing, jock Yeonjun, kinda nerdy (?) reader (they're friends with Soobin and Beomgyu if that helps), fluff with angst, includes underage drinking and swearing.

PLAYLIST ▸ High School in Jakarta by NIKI, I Like Me Better by Lauv, Bubble Gum by NewJeans, Ghosting by TXT, Ditto by NewJeans, small town by Clara Benin.

WC ▸ 12.9K words

A/N ▸ She's finally here 😭🥹 I'm quite proud of this one guys. It's loosely based off my own high school relationship (which unfortunately, didn't end as great as this fic did). It's also my first time writing such a long story, and I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it, and please do let me know how you guys felt about it. Love you!!

PART OF THE ANTHOLOGY SERIES

The world as you know it is ending. There’s meteors and asteroids crashing down, balls of fire and smoke rapidly descending on your world. The world you’d built since middle school. 

Not the world as we know it, of course. No, the world with its 8 billion population and sprawling cities and countries wasn’t coming to an end - but it was your world, with its own islands and own niches coming down to debris rapidly. 

Your world meant the things you did - it meant how you stayed up all night on school nights to play Minecraft with Soobin and Beomgyu, your two closest friends since childhood. It means the music you listened to. Usually that included whatever preppy tune that used to overtake the charts. The One Direction boys’ perfect harmonies were all the rage of 2014. Justin Bieber had the hearts of young girls by the fist. But that was middle school. That was 2014, which ended a few months ago. 2015 was the incoming year of the new batch of freshmen in their town’s high school. 2015, and there’s new artists and new bands and new games. It’s 2015 and the world you crafted with wide-eyed dreams and glitter pens is over, and the swooping lurch of reality hits you square in the chest just as the summer heat settles over everyone. 

The First Summer - summer before freshman year 

“Soobin, can you pay attention maybe? Fucking hell.” Beomgyu’s loud usually. Beomgyu’s louder when irritated however. And today he decided to be loud, irritated and angry, and the unnecessary screaming match between Soobin and Beomgyu was just the strike of the match of patience you had needed. “Enough!” Seriously, if you’re gonna fight this much, just beat each other up! I’d rather have you both in battle than this silly screaming match.” Your voice is shrill and the annoyance is heavy. Yet, it does nothing to affect the pair. Instead, all they did was give short laughs. “You can’t shout at us like that you '', the pouty eyes and whining tone of Beomgyu softened you up immediately, and you grinned back with a retaliation ready. “Beomgyu, let Soobin text his sweetheart next door, or else he’ll wilt like a plant deprived of sunlight.” The statement leaves the both of you in a fit of giggles the moment the entire sentence left your lips, and left Soobin to be the pouting one this time. “What do you both even know? To be in love with someone?”, the dramatics were oozing off Soobin, the sore subject of his very strong feeling for his next door neighbor making him more susceptible to teasing from you and Beomgyu. “And what do you know? You haven’t confessed either!”, accusatory, as you told him. It would be wonderful, absolutely delightful for Soobin to pull up his big boy pants and finally ask the other girl out. Not only because they’d make a delightful couple, but also because maybe he’d shut up about the qualms of unrequited (which honestly was quite requited if he just stopped being so blind) love. 

“How’s the existential crisis popping along, you? Are we still the lamest duo you could hang out with that will kill your nonexistent street cred?”. Chucking a throw pillow at the boy, you sighed, the dramatics being your concern now. “You guys don’t get it, do you? This is highschool. The real deal. The next four years of people’s cherished memories.” “You want to peak in highschool badly, don’t you?” “Shut up Soobin!”

They wouldn’t get it. They wouldn’t get how highschool mattered to you. How being 15, then 17, then 18 happens only once in life. You’re young in love as a teenager once, and you’re living life on the cusp only one. Romanticizing highschool was a silly cliche, and you were by no means a daydreaming romantic (Eh, maybe sometimes). But living, to experience, to feel, to love, meant something to you. It meant something to the little girl who watched those romcoms in the darkness of her room on a blue light screen. Watching how wonderful guys fell in love with wonderful girls. Watching how the boy loved the girl regardless of status quo. High School was a lake and you were a small pebble ready to skim its surface with accuracy and precision. 

“Are you Machiavelli or something? Stop making that scheming face, seriously. It’s giving me the creeps I’ll be honest. This just resulted in another pillow to the face.

The summer heat, a slow wave of buzzing energy that rolled over the entire town, made most of its residents lethargic. But lethargy wasn’t an option for 15 year olds, especially 15 year olds in the Y/L/N household. Several nags and a good scolding from your mother had you working at the convenience store two blocks down. A job that you were certain of, might just be the first of its kind in the way it could kill the employee of boredom. “At least you get the AC. And us!”. Huening Kai was an absolutely wonderful person. Honestly, there was no way to say anything negative according to you, which made Taehyun roll his eyes often. The two boys would frequent the store often. The first day because Kai was craving an ice pop to battle the heat. But once the pair had seen you prettily working the register all by your lonesome, and the boys not having anything interesting to while away their time with, began to visit you on your shifts, eating the almost expired stock and chitchatting. 

Even from the corny sentence Kai had just said, you could only bring herself to frown, but not get annoyed at the sunshine boy. The summer reinvention was in full swing. Calling it a reinvention made you uncomfortable sometimes. It was just a few tweaks right? It’s not like you were going to lose yourself completely.  A harmless fine-tuning of the machinery, shinier gears and fancier covering.

Convenient store afternoons were idyll - no customers, and usually no Kai and Taehyun, who’d take the most deep afternoon naps they could take. Today, however, they’d decided to forego the naps, and they hung around the back, to analyze which candy was the best for the summer. 

You're sitting at the till, bright light shining right through the spotless plexiglass, hair gently swooping over your face, illuminating the strands. There’s a slight breeze from the droning AC that cools whatever sweat was beading your forehead. A lazy afternoon, light and airy, with the low hanging summer making the world around simmer like a boiling pot. It was this afternoon, that the bell tinkled as the convenience store’s door opened, the sound jingling faintly over the sound of buzzing cicadas and grasshoppers. It was this afternoon, uneventful like the rest, until it wasn’t - that you looked up to meet the eyes of Choi Yeonjun. 

“Any ice cream?”, the older boy asked, eyes shining like two pebbles under a clear lake on a summer’s day. Breaking out of your stupor, you just nodded, a bit frantic considering how you were caught in such an awkward way. Brushing whatever hair that had surrounded your face, you got up with a slight metallic screech of the chair you sat at, stumbling to where the freezer was. Opening up the box, you gestured to an assortment of cold treats that were laid out for the customers. Humming to himself, Yeonjun just scanned the ice creams, then shifted his eyes to you. You, who was already staring at his sharp side profile, the way the sunlight seemed to poke out from the sharp bridge of his nose to the way his lips seemed more plump than they were with the way he was chewing at them. Making eye contact with him, he simply asked with a slight smirk, “What do you suggest?”. “Huh?”, you asked dumbly, not catching his question with the way you were busy ogling the older boy. “Which flavor do you like?”, “Oh! Personally, I’d say you can never go wrong with chocolate. The chocolate chip choco cones are wonderful for this season. But if you need something to beat the heat, a lime popsicle would be the best.” “You seem to have a PhD in ice cream.”, the boy teased, as he eyed the way your cheeks grew warmer and your pupils widening slightly at his jest. “Oh sorry if that was too much! Um yeah, I guess th-that’s my suggestion.”, hurriedly avoiding his eyes and going back to gesturing at ice creams. A pale veiny hand reached into the ice box to pick out two ice creams - a choco chip cone and a lime-berry popsicle. Slightly waving the two at you with a smile, he proceeded to strut up to the counter, head turned back at you as he said with a voice that made your heart constrict and release butterflies, “ Why not both then? Can’t go wrong with recommendations from the master, can I?”. If it wasn’t obvious before, it was quite obvious now. You were absolutely enamored by Choi Yeonjun. Hurrying up to the counter and reciting his bill, he paid the money and a bit extra with a wink, for the “pretty cashier at the register who has a thesis on sweet treats.”. And just as easily he’d appeared, with a flirtatious smile and charm to knock any girl off her feet, Yeonjun was gone from the store, with ice cream and quite possibly your senses and bearings. “TweedleDee and TweedleDum, you can come out now. I can see the tops of your head. I can also feel your annoying presence”, you groaned as a sheepish Hueningkai and Taehyun appeared, both clamoring about how they didn't “mean to eavesdrop” and how “they were leaving the back store room when they say the interaction between you and Yeonjun take place.” But honestly, that wasn’t your biggest concern right now. The two kids were harmless, anyways. What concerned you was how the image of those dazzling eyes wouldn’t leave your head. How smooth his voice was when he spoke to you. For someone ready to break out of the daydream land you found yourself in, Choi Yeonjun was insistent to keep you under. And for him, maybe going breathless was worth it. 

The Second Summer - summer before junior year

It’s 2018 and it’s the end of your life. Well, to be fair, your life has been “ending” since freshman year, and your two friends have been watching you become the one who cried wolf every single time. “You don’t get it Soob,” with the cellphone perched on your shoulder, “I don’t know how you and Beomgyu aren’t freaking the hell out right now.” Soobin lets out a disinterested hum, deciding to conference Beomgyu in, because why would he be the sole victim to this torture? Sitting down on the bed with a force and a breath of indignation leaving your lips, you just continue your rant. “Soobin and Beomgyu. This is the year it gets real. College prep. Entrance exams. Volunteering and extracurriculars. Don’t you get it? At least Rin gets it. Rin’s with me-” “And that must suck for you, Soobin” a teasing Beomgyu interrupted, while Soobin stayed wordless, probably sulking behind the phone, too pouty to retaliate. This sudden remembrance made you laugh, and joining in on the fun, you said, “Yeah Soobs, how have you still not gotten the balls to ask her out?”, but you regretted the words that came out of your mouth, immediately anticipating what was coming and what's next. And just as you predicted, Soobin launched off on his monologue, “Crushing on Yeonjun isn’t a problem then huh? What about that? You’ve spent a year and half pining for the most wanted guy in the school, Y/N? Isn’t that funny?”, all the words spilling out in a single breath of a sentence. “Alright Soobin, I’ll lay off your case if you lay off mine. Besides, it’s easier to target Beomgyu, no?”. And with that the bickering went off again, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

A lot has changed since that summer in freshman year, with the chance encounter with Yeonjun. For one, you stopped working there the moment summer ended, which disheartened you slightly considering you would see less of Huening Kai and Kang Taehyun, the two boys you’d grown quite fond of in this short span of time. But the missing soon expired the moment the duo entered highschool themselves in your sophomore year, growing slightly closer to your friend group despite the year’s gap in age. They were the new addition along with Rin, Soobin’s neighbor and longtime crush, to your lunch table. A moment in time where SAT scores and classes, crushes and heartbreaks ceased to exist, and it was just your friends and you, suspended in an emulsion of feelings of friendship, and youth. 

Another thing that had changed since that summer was you yourself. Though your reinvention didn’t go the way you had planned - you still had matured. The crybaby 14 year old had grown into someone who knew how to stand up for themselves. The same person who’d spend nights crying because of mismatched schedules was moving up the academic ladder. 

And reappearing on that same lunch table on the first day of sophomore year, and then sticking it out till the end of the academic swing, with a whole new set of expectations crammed into binders and assignments, and the promise of new memories to make, was your friend group and you - a couple of kids ready to take on the world. Hand in hand, laughter shared and fondness obvious, it was going to be a good summer. You could feel it, in the jokes Beomgyu shared and the shrieking laugh Kai let out without fail. Grinning along to their antics, your eyes scanned the lunchroom.

One thing hadn’t changed with the seasons, and that was your fascination with the school’s IT boy, Choi Yeonjun. A wonderful enigma - athletic, kind and good looks all combining to create the most perfect gentleman you in your years of living had had the chance of meeting. He sat at the table diagonal to yours, and with a piercing heart did you remember that with all the changes, Yeonjun changed too - in the sense that he’d gotten a girlfriend. A girlfriend whom he adored, which was obvious to anyone with two eyes. 16 nearing 17years old and a heartthrob with a heart of gold himself, it was written clear as day in the leaflets of destiny, that Choi Yeonjun would be someone who would make a mile-wide crater of an impact on people’s lives. And as your eyes moved away from where Yeonjun sat with an arm slung around his girlfriend, the disappointment was quite evident in them, that you found yourself locking eyes with Rin, who held a look of pity. Shaking your head and offering a smile that said, “No worries”, you shifted your attention back to your friends. 

Choi Yeonjun may be at a school lunch table less than a foot away from you. But anyone who had lived through the apocalyptic land of highschool could tell that in reality, he was miles away. 

And this summer, he would be light years away - no longer a friendly customer at a convenience store where you no longer worked, but rather a fading memory of a golden summer’s afternoon, where you could for the first time, feel sparks lighting up inside your eyeballs when they looked into his. The first time your heart would do somersaults to be in his presence. The first crush. Your first crush, the golden boy. 

Being in the middle of the food chain of status quo meant having its own advantages and disadvantages. And a certain disadvantage was that sure, you were moderately more liked then the people above you, and you weren’t picked on nor where you shunned into isolation. But it meant that a very mediocre position came with a mediocre life. Your friend group wasn’t the type to be firstly favored to be invited to parties and blowouts with the older kids like some of your peers were. And frankly, your friends weren’t the type to be dying for those coveted invitations either. They were the ones who’d rather watch the Scream movies in order despite the fact that the entire group, minus Taehyun, were deathly afraid of horror movies. And honestly, you were all content with that - to make bad predictions to the endings and have Taehyun poke fun at the way you all fell for the jumpscares every single time.

But to reach to maybe even the periphery of Yeonjun’s area meant having to put yourself out there, just a little bit. And the time was no better than now, when Miyawaki Sakura, the foreign exchange junior you had the opportunity to help out when she first arrived in the beginning of the year, invited you to a blowout on the last day of the school party being held at her place. The lovely Japanese girl, who’d been meek and as quiet as a mouse had blossomed just like the flower her name signified, and grown out of her shell to be one of the rather popular girls in not only her year, but the entire school. Not only was she drop dead gorgeous, but also possessed the kindest of hearts - evident in the way that even after her rise to popularity, she hadn't forgotten the helpful sophomore who had shown her the ropes around school. 

Scoring the invite wasn’t an issue but rather convincing your homebody, introverted friends to tag along was - Taeyhyun and Kai were already on their ways to their respective family homes, so it was between Rin, Soobin and Beomgyu and if luck would have it, all three. 

“Guys please. We always have some other time to do these things - Rin I promise you, I’ll sit and finish the lego set with you myself. Soobin, Gyu - be so serious right now. You’re missing the hottest party of the year to watch freaking anime? Guys please!”. The whining and pleading and pouting along with shining up big puppy-dog eyes at all of them was all you had in your arsenal. “Y/N.” A single, serious utter of your name has you shooting another helpless look Soobin, putting quite possibly all your charm into this one. “We’ll go. Shut the hell up now.”

Jumping up from where you were sat on the floor of his bedroom, you shot off to where he and Beomgyu were on the couch, browsing through streaming services for new animes, to engulf him a bone-crushing hug that had him releasing his own expletives and swears, begging to be released, but chuckling along, nonetheless. Pulling Rin along with you, with a complaint from Soobin and Beomgyu about where the two of you were going off without them, giving a loud laugh, you just called out - “It’s a party, we have to dress up!”

Rin was humming along to whatever pop music had begun auto-playing as the playlist you both had put together for the process had exhausted itself, and it was something neither of you paid mind to, too busy concentrating on fixing eyeliner wings and choosing the right accessories to match your outfits. It wasn’t that you and Rin weren’t friends - no it was great having a girl in the group to help you handle Beomgyu and Soobin’s antics. But it was rather that Rin was the closest to Soobin, which had made conversation stall a bit. Yet the silence was friendly and not awkward at all. A few more beats and a song later, Rin off-handedly mentioned something that had you freezing in your spot. “Now that Yeonjun’s single, it won’t hurt to make your move Y/N.” “Yeonjun single, since when?” you asked perplexed. “But they were sitting together at that table just last week?”. “That’s the thing, Y/N. Right on that very day, Yunha and Yeonjun unexpectedly broke up. There’s no news on why, or how. But many speculate from what they saw that Yeonjun was the one who cut it right off, the one who initiated it.”

Your mind was spinning. A perfect guy and a not-so-perfect girl. What could’ve gone wrong with them? What made them fall apart like that? And so much so - it wasn’t that you were one of those people who would see him as an object on the market again. No, he was fresh off a relationship he recently broke off - and it surely would leave a stain on any person’s life. So many questions and so many feelings, and the nagging reminder of your own crush on Yeonjun felt like an anchor inside you, pulling at your heartstrings in a way that made them creak the most bittersweet tune. A boy you’d loved from afar, was now slightly closer in the binoculars you viewed him with. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t still distances away. 

“I don’t think so Rin”, came your thought-out reply. “Freshly broken up with? I don’t stand a chance. Not to mention that it’s not only me, but half the school that likes him”. Looking up to where Rin sat snickering, you pointedly asked her, “What?”. Halting her laughter, she just said with a warm twinkle in her eye, half turned towards you, pulling a hair brush through her locks. “The school may have a crush on Yeonjun, but you, Y/N, are head over heels.”

And this was something that weighed heavily on your mind all the way to the party, crammed in Soobin’s mini SUV which he borrowed from his parents for the night after incessant begging and pleading. Rin had a point, you thought, when you glanced at her from where she sat up front next to Soobin, the two lost in their own lovesick bubble. You really were head over heels of Yeonjun, and it had you tripping on your feet and falling more often than not. Pulling up the street crammed with several other cars, the bass reverberating through a specific house on the cul-de-sac lined curb made it obvious what the destination was. Finally managing to tightly squeeze the car into a spot far down, the four of you made your way down to the house, now emitting different sorts of LED lights and boosting party hits, with a hand wrapped around Beomgyu’s, both of you stuck in your own conversation that was continuing from the car. 

Standing at the door were two heavy-set boys, part of the school football team - Seo Changbin and Lee Chan, both coincidentally being Yeonjun’s closest friends. The fourth of their little musketeer squad was Jung Wooyoung, the wild spirit of a boy, filled with spunk and charisma, was probably inside the house, tearing up whatever makeshift dance floor the party provided. Nodding slightly in recognition at you, no doubt already informed about your invite by Sakura, Changbin just shot you a charming grin, accented with the obvious amounts of copious liquor he’d already downed before your arrival, and said, “You know Y/N, I’m not going to lie, I always thought you were too pipsqueak to come to one of these”. He’d given a look to Chan to man the doors himself for a while, and an unspoken second agreement between the both you couldn’t quite decipher. “Well, I couldn’t turn down Sakura at all”, you laughed sheepishly, flanked by Soobin’s lanky frame who was clutching on to Rin, and Beomgyu next to Changbin, all of you crossing the threshold to the zone of booze, loud music and people ready to share some skin. Changbin seemed insistent to talk to you, for some reason, as he continued, “Whatever magic Kkura played on you, I’m glad it worked, because you’re here.”, he beamed with a confident sort of happiness. “O-oh, me too.”, blinking at the sudden confession. “I’m glad I’m here too. This is Yeonjun’s house, is it?”, you cringed slightly at yourself. Of course it was, everyone knew this was his party. Barking a short laugh, he said, “Yeah, of course. Resident party boy couldn’t help himself on the first day of summer.” You had no idea where Changbin was leading you to, but judging from the way you guys were walking towards an ajar patio door, you figured he wanted you in the backyard to hear you better over the music, where the number of partygoers were much less. Why he wanted to hear you at all, was still a mystery. 

With all the questions and slightly flirty lines being thrown at you from Changbin, you’d managed to completely ignore how you’d lost your friends in the crowd, how Soobin’s comforting presence was not near you, or how you couldn’t hear Beomgyu’s raucous laughter anymore. Finally breathing in the fresh gale of air as you guys stepped on to the wooden flooring of his back porch, it seemed Changbin’s agenda was made clearer - the way he cupped the curve of your cheek, staring deeply into your eyes. And it made you brake in your steps, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. “Y/N. You’re cute. I’m cute. Cuter, maybe”, he giggled with a wink, as the thought that he might be quite tipsy had already washed over you. “Let’s get out of here?”, he said, beckoning towards the back gate of the house. And you, were absolutely fucking frozen. Here was an attractive boy asking you out, and all your stupid mind could think of was how badly you wished this was Yeonjun, and not his friend. And maybe you wished too hard, because from right behind the waiting figure of Changbin seemed to materialize Choi Yeonjun, black hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, smiling lightly as he met your eyes. The sharpness of his nose and the way his eyes seemed to crinkle around its corners. God damnit. Even in the worst of your moments, you seemed to be absolutely haunted by this six feet tall soccer player. 

“Hey, convenience store. Is this guy bothering you?”. Your mouth was open, but it seemed that no words would be coming out anytime soon. Glaring at his friend for icing his game, which just hardened when Yeonjun put an arm around his friend’s plentiful bicep, he just ushered Changbin away from you, still smiling at you as he explained, “He’s quite drunk right now. I’m glad you didn’t answer him anything, I’m surprised this dumbass can even stand on his own two feet, with the way he was pre-gaming before. Again, my bad, uh- what’s your name again? Can’t keep calling you convenience store now, can I?”

Here was Choi Yeonjun, talking to you about more than just ice cream flavors and homework. Here was Choi Yeonjun, helping you from making a dumb move with a drunk guy. Here was Choi Yeonjun, awaiting your response while you continued standing there mum. 

“U-uh yeah! It’s Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N. I worked at the convenience store, yes. But I stopped working there now!”

There was some odd spirit cursing you, for sure. If there was a god of embarrassment, he seemed to have taken a liking to you. 

It seemed that Changbin, who was now reeling from the alcohol in his system, hunched over, ready to hurl, which seemed to distract Yeonjun from your nervous rambling. Hauling his friend over to the side of the patio, he entered with a Changbin hanging limply on his side. Looking back to where you still stood, he just smiled and asked, “You planning to help me out here?”

The floor of the bathroom where Changbin was sitting, curved into the toilet bowl, spilling his guts out was cold. Cold enough to make you and Yeonjun move to the baby blue ceramic tile bathtub, knees pulled into your chest while Yeonjun’s long ones were draped over the rim of the tub. Honestly, your jitters are much less now. The nerves had already made you almost forget what a disaster the first meeting with Yeonjun was, and it seemed he paid no mind to it either. “So Y/N, how do you know Kkura?”. And thus began a short and simple conversation with Choi Yeonjun in a baby blue bathtub, while his friend hurled in the toilet next to you both. 

“I don’t know how to do it.” The conversation was streaming steadily like a river, and the topic started digging deeper. Yeonjun asked about highschool, and how it was going for you - your plans for the summer and then junior year, the same way you asked him and how he felt about his last year in school. “What do you mean?”. “I wish I had a guidebook, you know? To tell me what sorts of things I should do, how to be someone in highschool who makes memories. Who lives. I’ve been trying ever since that last summer of middle school, and I’m still coming up short.” This just made Yeonjun let out a few giggles in amusement, which had you snapping your neck, shocked how he found your problems so funny. Shoving him lightly with your shoulder, you laughed too. “It’s not funny! I’m serious. Everyone except me knows what to do!” “Including me?” asked Yeonjun, head tilted towards you slightly in curiosity now. “Well..” and the look he gave you spurred you on. “You’re the Choi Yeonjun. You’re popular, smart, funny and talented.” “I know”, a lazy grin that had you clenching your fist in response to the butterflies. “So you get it right? You know the ropes.” This had Yeonjun’s smile faltering a bit, as his gaze dropped down to the floor. “If I knew Y/N, I’d know why I’m never enough for my girlfriend.” But as sudden as that confession was, he seemed to return to his original state. And you didn’t like that one bit. Sliding up a bit closer to him, you offered a token of friendship. “Wanna tell me about it? Sounds like you need a listener, and that’s something I’m good at.”

“Well, for starters, the rumor going around that I dumped her is false. It was the other way around. I would say it’s not that the relationship was running smoothly, but I guess I was holding on to that bit of whatever we had, floating a piece of driftwood. Splintering me, but I was holding on. She let go, I guess.”

You’re not sure what it is about you that has him baring open his soul so vulnerable only to you, but you’re glad. Because you saw the boy as more than just a shimmering silhouette in the distance now. He was much more up close, and much more beautiful.

On a hazy summer evening, where the air hung low above everyone like a buzzing, heated static, you met Choi Yeonjun in a new light. And he met you, not for the first time maybe, but definitely in a more impacting way. A second, first meeting.

The Second Summer - June

The days after the party at Yeonjun’s - where after you both had let each other read each other’s stories like open books on display, he’d walked you home due to “his extremely generous and chivalrous nature” (his words, not yours.), you’d been caught yourself far too many times revisiting that night in your head, replaying the smiles and the laughs, the banters and the jokes. You had something else too. Something that your friends were unaware of. Sure, you’d told them about your escapade with Yeonjun and why you were so absent at the party, which had led to hours of teasing from both Soobin and Beomgyu, with Soobin, roping Rin on to the antics kept making smooching noises at you, and Beomgyu, in the most Beomgyu-esque fashion ever would loudly and immaturely sing “Y/N and Yeonjun sitting on a tree” on the top of his lungs. But something you had yet to reveal to them, mainly because your patience would give out if you had to hear more taunts from them. But in your phone, locked away in your contacts, Yeonjun’s number.

“Lemme get your number, tubs”, he’d said with cheek as he called you that nickname he’d decided on the spot and a tongue poking out cutely from his lip, as he thrust his phone into your hands, still strolling along with one hand in the pocket of his black baggy jeans and the other brushing your own, sending sparks shooting right down your knuckles. Typing the digits in, he smoothly pulled your own phone out of your purse that he was carrying upon his insistence, and entered his own number, no doubt saving it under some sort of stupid name. “Why am I Tubs?”, you asked curiously. “Because I just had the best conversation of my life in a tub with you, tubs. Can’t let someone like you fade away now, can I?”. The street was lined with harsh white lamps, and little moths fluttering around the buzzing lamp made shadows dance around on the pavement. “So would you actually use a highschool guide if you got one?”, “Yeah, why not? A Popularity 101 or Escape High School for Dummies might be nice.” Humming, he seemed to be contemplating something, that you had to nudge him out of with an inquisitive look. “Nothing, nothing”, he said, shaking his head reassuringly. “Just something I thought of. Something that might help the both of us out.” “What do you mean?”, you asked him. “I’ll tell you about it. I’ll text you.” And just as elusively he’d entered your life, he left you on the front of your doorstep, with a promising smile and an electricity that wouldn’t leave your palms. 

The nickname had left a blush warming your cheeks that you hoped he hadn’t noticed. And when his contact lit up your phone screen, it was the same blush making its appearance on your face again. 

[Yawnzzn] 11:32 AM: meet me at the convenience store, tubs. kinda wanna talk to you ab smth

While the text’s ominous nature did leave you a bit nervous, the excitement of seeing him again, as a friend, as someone he wanted to hang out with by his own volition, overshadowed it. You knew it had to do something to do with what he’d referenced that fateful night. And skipping down the avenue, past the winding streets of the suburbs lined with trees and their apple green leaves, you made it to the convenience store on the corner, where Yeonjun stood staring into the ground, head bent, wearing a new pair of washed up baggy denims, a white form fitting shirt and a red-and-black cap turned backwards on his shaggy mop of black head, that seemed to highlight the brown undertone in the sun. Spotting your appearance from the sound of footsteps, he smiled and beckoned you into the store where you followed him, settling down on the outdoor seating arrangement shaded by the roof of the store. The sweat was starting to bead on the back of your neck which you tried your best to ignore. Focusing on the boy in front of you, meeting his twinkling gaze just set off an eruption of butterflies in your stomach. 

“Alright, before I say what I have to say, promise me you won’t be weirded out, okay? And I swear it only sounds as complicated.” He seemed nervous, and slightly uncomfortable about what exactly he was asking, which just made your fingers twitch slightly in anticipation. Anxiously biting your lip, you just nodded for him to continue, mustering up the best reassuring slight smile you could manage. “What if I taught you how to master highschool? And in return, could you pretend to be my fake girlfriend?”.

You blinked at him once. Then again. Honestly, you were awaiting that burst of ebullient laughter from him, where he’d then say how he was joking. Why would I date you Tubs? I’m not mad, he’d say. But none of that came. Instead there was still a patient Yeonjun eagerly awaiting your response. Sputtering in confusion and disbelief, you just asked him, “What? Why? Why do you need a fake girlfriend? Why do you want me to be the fake girlfriend?”. Giggling at your discombobulated state, he just waved his hand in the air in a gesture to relax. “Look. I’ve thought long and hard about this. You need a High School for Dummies, and I want to, well, show Yunha that I can be the boyfriend she needs me to be, you know? When she sees what a good boyfriend I can be with you, she might want me back!”. His radiant smile of excitement was throwing shadows over the cracks in your heart. Of course, he wanted her. Perfect, wonderful, Yunha. This would be severely, severely bad for your heart.

“I’ll do it.”

Recounting this debacle was shaping up to be exactly the kind of drama you were expecting from Soobin,Beomgyu and Rin. “You’re not serious. She’s not serious guys.” Rin was still in the denial stage of the process your friends were going through - with Soobin on anger and Beomgyu on grief, clutching your plushie on your bed and looking at you with sorrowful eyes as if you’d kidnapped his dog in front of him or something. Soobin’s mouth seemed to fly at miles a minute, berating you for how badly this would obviously end.

“Maybe this will help me, Soobin! To finally get over him! Clearly staying away just made me yearn more.” This just had Soobin turning more red. 

The both of you had drawn up unspoken rules about this of course - that the agreement would continue until the goal was met. Hopefully, it will happen by the end of this summer itself, Yeonjun had added. There was, of course, an agreement of mutual platonic feelings from both parties. Strike one in the deal.

You didn’t like doing things that your friends disapproved of, who despite their silliness and playfulness, were still your best friends. But God, did holding hands with Yeonjun as he led you through the colorful lights, bustling stalls and zooming rides of the carnival feel good. His hand was encasing yours and tugging your fingers, which had your own heartstrings cinching with each pulling movement. There was a wide smile on your face as he sped towards the stall selling animal headbands, insisting that you both needed matching ones. 

“You know, Yeonjun. If you’re secretly a furry or something, you can tell me. It’s okay, I won’t judge. I mean I will, but you know”, you said in faux sympathy while patting his shoulder jokingly, which had him adorably pouting at you. “Shut up, don’t you want to know what makes me so cool? These headbands do. Chicks and dudes alike dig my childlike whimsy.” He said proudly, which just had you raising an eyebrow at you. Stubbornly placing the matching fox ears on you, he pulled his cellphone out while explaining - “Okay, so step one. Kiss my cheek in this photo so that I can upload it to my story.” Kissing Yeonjun (albeit on the cheek) was like tasting heaven to you. Surely your heart would give out, if you even got closer to him. Kiss on the cheek?

“Come on, quickly! I wanna get a corndog after this”, he said signaling at the dimple on his cheek. Breaking out of your stupor, you hesitantly pushed your lips on to the soft flesh of his cheek, as he titled his more towards you, making your lips plant firmly against his dimple. Your mind was raging as the brightness around you, and his body warmth made your head spin. The sound of the shutter of a camera from his phone seemed to push you off your rollercoaster thoughts,moving quickly away. “Nicely done, Tubs.” he praised, examining the picture and wasting no time to post it. The sudden ding on your phone made you check the device, seeing the same picture being sent to you. “Set it as your wallpaper. Gotta make the gimmick more believable.”, he added nonchalantly. Nodding, you did as he told, until he said in an afterthought, “Plus, I look sexy as hell in that picture.” Scoffing at his confidence, you jokingly said, “And what makes you think I wanna stare at your face every time I open my phone?” “No rebuttals on the sexy part I see”, he winked at you. 

If your chances at surviving this date with an intact heart weren’t already horribly low, Choi Yeonjun was hell-bent on leaving you an absolute goner by the end of the date. 

The second date commenced equally as smoothly, with you taking the initiative this time by taking him to a pottery studio which doubled as a cafe - painting each other small trinkets to keep to remember the good friendship you were both fostering. And as you both opened up more to each other, you found yourself regretting what you’d said to Soobin. Because if anything, being close to Yeonjun just had you spiraling more into this lovestruck rabbit-hole. And you had to dig yourself out, fast.

One of those moments where clarity hit you about digging out, you’d decided to meet up with a fellow classmate of yours - Hwang Hyunjin. Hyunjin was a family friend of yours and you both had been quite close in your childhood years. Your mothers were best friends, who honestly wanted their kids to end up together. But they also didn’t want to force any unwanted romance on you both as children, which is why they’d left the matter alone all together. If it happened, it happened. If it didn’t, it didn’t. 

Your mothers shared such a deep friendship that they even had their own anniversary - the day they first became friends. And along the years, it turned into quite a wholesome celebration for them, celebrating their friendship together. And this anniversary was coming up soon, which is why when Hyunjin had texted you, asking if you wanted to help in throwing a little surprise party for the both of them, you’d eagerly jumped at the opportunity, ready to do anything to distract you from the boy you were so hopeless for. 

Pushing the grocery cart around as Hyunjin mindlessly added to things that might be required for the party, you both idly chatted, catching up with each other’s lives. Hyunjin was a quite good looking guy, and had all the girls in your class breaking their necks to get a good look at his prince-like beauty. Maybe you would’ve been one of those girls currently, if a different guy didn’t have your head up in the clouds. 

“And what’s up with you and Yeonjun? Don’t play with me and tell me, ‘cuz I saw that story of his? Does the shy Y/L/N finally have a man? The most fine, coveted man in school, even?”, he said, his cute dumpling smile and nudging making you blush slightly. “Well, we’ve been hanging out and stuff, I guess? He’s a good guy.”, you said bashfully. Hyunjin opened his mouth to say something but froze midair. Looking forward to seeing what had halted Hyunjin, you made eye contact with Yeonjun’s warm caramel brown ones. 

“Hi Y/N”, he said with a slight edge to his voice, eyeing you and Hyunjin suspiciously as he did. With a clipped voice, he also threw in a “Hey Hwang”, out of whatever courtesy he could find within the unexplainable pit in his stomach and the slight anger clouding his vision as he kept staring at how Hyunjin had an arm loosely wrapped around your shoulder while he was teasing you. He didn’t like that hand. At all. And he needed it off of you, immediately. 

“Hyune, take the items up to the cashier, please? I’ll be with you in a moment”, you requested, gulping as he left your side understandingly, leaving only you and Yeonjun standing in the fresh produce aisle. “Tubs, looks like you don’t need my help getting cool at all, if Hwang is the kind of guy you hang out with.”, he said light-heartedly, even though he felt nothing of the sort currently. Seeing you with another guy had put him off so much, so suddenly that it had him reeling. But, of course anyone wouldn’t be mad if their fake girlfriend was with someone else, right? Even if the word ‘fake’ gave him a bitter taste in his throat?

“Hyunjin is my family friend! His mom and my mom are best friends, you see. And we’re throwing them a little party, you see.”, you explained, suddenly feeling shy in his gaze, intense and burning right into you. His eyes seemed to soften at this, and he nodded. Feeling this odd urge to add more, you hastily spit out, “Do you want to come?”. The invitation was out of the blue and frankly had you feeling stupid. Who the hell would want to come to this? “You bet. I’ll be there in my finest suit and everything”, he added jokingly. “What time?” “Huh?” “What time is it starting?” “You actually want to come?”. “‘Course I do. Gotta impress my in-laws, right?”, he said cheekily. 

“You’re burning up, Y/N-ie!” Hyunjin later said, as he felt your skin as he had gone to poke your cheek. “Was it something in the store?”. Seeing how frozen you were, he slyly put two and two together and asked, “Or was it someone?” 

There were some streamers put up in the living room, and some balloons blown up by both your dads, who’d also become great pals because of their wives. You and Hyunjin were setting up the table, when the doorbell rang. “That can’t be them already?” you asked perplexed. “No, their spa appointment only ends at 6PM, I checked thoroughly”, said Hyunjin’s dad. Moving towards the door, confused about who it could be, you opened the door to find Yeonjun, casually dressed and clutching two small bouquets. “I’m not early, am I?”

When your moms arrived, your mother was pleasantly surprised to find you chatting happily with a boy who was not Hyunjin or any of your friends. Noticing the knowing twinkle in her eyes as you introduced her to Yeonjun, you silently promised her an explanation as you both moved around the room to where Hyunjin was, as your dad beckoned the parents over to the living room while letting the youngsters socialize on their own. With the three of you moving towards the backyard while cracking jokes, you could feel the one-sided tension between the both melting away, which made you glad. Settling down on the lawn chairs on the yard, the three of you streamed through various topics to talk about, with Yeonjun and Hyunjin bonding over their mutual interest in dancing. “I didn’t know you danced.” you’d voiced a bit quietly to him as Hyunjin went to his house just next door to get some beers for the three of you. You hadn’t drank before, so you were planning to sit this one out and let Yeonjun and Hyunjin get tipsy. “Yeah, it’s just been something I’ve always wanted to do. And my teacher before sophomore year reckoned I’d be good too.” “Why’d you stop?”, you asked him. “It was interfering with soccer practice. And soccer gets me into college - dance doesn’t.”. He seemed a bit shut off about the topic, and sensing how this was a sore spot for him, you didn’t press for much. “Well, there’s a life outside college. A life where you could do both - and maybe more dancing like you want.” you offered him in reassurance, which seemed to spark an interest in his eyes. Looking gratefully at you, this look on his face seemed different this time, like there was something deeper simmering beneath the cool guy smack he’d always give you. Your hand which was quite close to his own, hanging limply across the handles of the chair, suddenly was encased in warmth, with his own palm giving yours a grateful squeeze. “Thank you, Y/N. I’d like to show you one day, perhaps.”

And indeed, there was something cooking underneath that aloofness of his, because for the first time, he wished that he could show you his dance skills as his girlfriend, and not just a platonic agreement of the season. 

“Beer wench has arrived!” exclaimed Hyunjin, as he set down three bottles of Beer Lite on the wooden table in front of you. “Sorry to interrupt, lovebirds, but I’m ready to get cracking. Now Yeonjunnie, did you know that when Y/N was 11 she-""Shut up Hyunjin! You swore you wouldn’t talk about that!”. 

Hyunjin and his parents had departed as the evening neared its close, and the sky was black with dark maroon clouds spread out shielding the glimmering stars. Yeonjun had insisted on helping clean up for the party, claiming it was the least he could do as a guest. He was helping your dad clean up stray paper plates and napkins, until you showed him the way up to your room to get a garbage bag to dispose of the waste. His lanky body was right before you as you both bounded up the stairs, and opening up the door, a sudden realization hit you - Yeonjun was going to see your room. Your kind of messy, lame, postered up room. He was already two strides in when you were frozen up, terrified for the teasing onslaught that was bound to begin anytime soon. “No way, you listen to HONEY too? I freaking love that band.”

This was odd. No teasing. No making fun of your weird posters or your figurines and stuffed toys. Only a very heavy compliment on your music taste. Whistling long as he eyed the rest of your room, he seemed to giggle at the obscene number of plushies on your bed, which you took offense to. “It’s our year of the lord 2018 and you’re gonna make fun of plushies on the bed? Really, Yeonjun?”, you told him off with feigned disappointment as he laughed at this, chuckling while shaking his head. “Not making fun, just admiring.” His speech was only slightly slurred, indicating that he was only barely on the cusp of tipsy and sober. Moving towards your closet to bring out a garbage bag, he ambled up to stand right behind you, his arm resting against the wooden frame of the wardrobe as you ruffled around till you found what you were looking for. “Alright! Let’s go then”, spinning around only to bump your nose slightly against his hard chest. This caught you off guard, breath catching in your throat as you stabilized yourself by lightly holding on to his forearm. “Yeonjun?” you asked unsurely as your eyes hesitantly looked up to his pupils blown wide as he stared at you in an entirely different way. Like you were the only person he wanted to look at for the rest of his life. His lips were tantalizingly plump and pink, like easy to grab, low hanging fruit, the smell of cranberries and beer wafting on to your face gently in the most tempting way possible. Inhaling sharply, you saw how his vision flitted between features of your face, as if he was memorizing every curve, every mole and every lash. Eyes blown wide as saucers, you could only stand in bated breath, expecting nothing and everything at the same time. His lips were scanning your lips, and you swore your legs would give out right then and there, from the way he licked his own lips while eyeing yours. 

A call from downstairs seemed to separate you two like similar poles of a magnet, coughing slightly and silently going downstairs, garbage bag in your hand. There was a soft smile on both of your faces as you handed him the bag, going to join your mom in washing the dishes. Your currently flustered state was all the explanation your mom needed about who Yeonjun was to you in your life.

You and Yeonjun ambled by the door just killing time, neither of you wanting to say goodbye. But he knew it was time to go. Standing on your front porch, he offered the last sucker-punch of feelings to your gut as he said, “You know what, Tubs? I still don’t think you need my help. I think you’re the coolest person I know.”

The night when you laid in your bed, an hour after bidding him goodbye, you found yourself staring at the HONEY poster and smiling like a lovesick fool. This summer, you swore, was going to be beautiful.

The Second Summer - July

If you smile at your phone any longer, you’re afraid the shape would be etched on to your face forever, and everyone would know you as the lovestruck idiot who can’t stop smiling. At Least that’s what Soobin says, and obviously he’s never wrong. But even you had to admit, the rate at which you and Yeonjun had spent every waking moment together, including digitally over text messages, was just abysmal. Something seemed to have shifted in him ever since that encounter in your room, and it seemed like he’s exploded with affection. Almost everyone in your school knew that the both of you were in a relationship. A fake one, a snide voice in your head reminded you. That’s what this was for, anyways. A way for him to show Yunha how perfect he was. He wanted to be perfect for Yunha, and you were just practice. But the dark thoughts seemed to evaporate from your mind as another text message from Yeonjun lit up your phone, the wallpaper - the photo of the carnival - just making you more giddy. He’d invited you to your new date/hangout (you weren’t sure which word to settle on during this convoluted situation), a movie night at his place, after you’d relentlessly teased him for not knowing some of the most famous rom-coms. He’d apparently already watched Princess Diaries, which was a shock to you at first, until you found out it was only because his friend Chan had insisted that it was pure cinema, which it was. So tonight, you’d decided to make him watch the second installment of the series, a superior romance with just the right amounts of tension and tropes. He was picking up snacks from the supermarket while he was messaging you, asking you your preferences, the thoughtfulness melting your heart. Your leg was bouncing up and down in excitement as you laid on your bed, ready as ever for the night. 

At 7PM sharp, you had made your way to his house, rapping sharply at the door. He’d confirmed previously that the house was going to be empty save for his younger sister, since his parents had already jetted off for an anniversary couples vacation, leaving their two children in charge of the house. Fully expecting Yeonjun to open the door, you were surprised to find a smaller girl standing at the door with unblinking owlish eyes. From the similar fox-like features to the jet black hair, it wasn’t difficult to figure out that this was Yeonjun’s younger sister, Yena. She seemed to smile, metal braces glinting under the yellow porch light as she welcomed you in. His sister, who was due to start freshman year herself this fall in the same school as you both, seemed to spend no time in starting to talk to you, treating you like a friend she’d known for a long time. “You’re her, right?”, she seemed to ask mid-ramble, “You're Y/N. God that idiot can’t ever shut up about you! Of course, I see why considering how gorgeous you are, but please, some of us are sick of hearing about how much you like spending time with her!”, her voice growing louder and angled towards the staircase you both stood at the bottom of, clearly as a dig towards Yeonjun. His loud footsteps ran down the flight of the stairs, hair damp as if he’s just hopped out of the shower and bangs flopping against his forehead, clad in gray sweatpants and a loose black t-shirt. “Yena, don’t you have idols to ogle at on your iPad like a middle schooler?”, he asked with a huff of annoyance towards his sister, who just promptly stuck her tongue out at him, and walked away, not without giving you a teasing wink before she did. Clearly, this targeted teasing seemed to run in the Choi family genes. 

“We’ll watch the movie in my room, so that the little parasite doesn’t bother us”, he explained as he grabbed your hand to pull you up, almost like it was natural to him. A faint “I heard that!”from Yena in the living room made you chuckle wholeheartedly, loving their sibling dynamic. The sound of your laugh seemed to liven up Yeonjun even more, who could feel the warmth in your hand in his igniting a spark in his heart. So much for pre-made plans of how things go. It is the first time, he thought to himself, that someone’s made me feel this way. And I like it.

Settling down on his queen sized bed, the navy blue duvet and bed covers complimented with gray pillows surprised you, because to be honest, you were expecting some sort of Pokemon bed covers. Which earned you a frustrated and angry sound from Yeonjun, who in his annoyance often behaved exactly like a toddler. Endearing. 

Pressing on the button on the remote, he settled down comfortably right beside you, elbows touching yours as a bowl of popcorn mix was precariously balanced on both of your thighs, his body heat making you feel like a furnace. 

It got worse as the movie continued. Every minuscule move he made, every tiny shift or brush of him against you had you writhing in your head, having to restrain yourself from just imagining. Imagining what it would be like if you were both a regular couple having a regular date night, with your head on his chest, just above his beating heart. He would run his fingers through your hair that would probably soothe the next ten years worth of worries in your life. He could cup your chin and just dip down, giving you a taste of what it was like to be kissed by the magnificent boy. But that beating heart you fantasized of listening to, was currently beating for Kim Yunha. 

You’d never had your first kiss. You frankly saw no big deal of it, and you didn’t want to share a meaningless kiss with some boy who’s name you’d probably forget in twenty years during those eighth grade spin the bottle games at birthday parties. You didn’t know what your first kiss would feel like. If it would be the sparks and fireworks, the bubbles of champagne kind, or the comfortable one, like the breeze that enters through your window at night. Like home. The kiss you currently craved, you guessed, would taste as sweet as candy.

“Hey, hey she did the foot pop when she kissed him! That’s what she wanted in her first movie right!” Yeonjun exclaimed, deeply interested in the movie while you dealt with the dilemma in your mind. He added on, “Oh man, a foot pop kiss would be fun. Different to the kisses I’ve had. Have you had any of those, Tubs?”. His questions seemed to fly over your head, until he asked again, inquisitive eyes looking at you, the dialogue a dimmed background in how close he was. Gulping, you didn’t really feel shame or embarrassment as you told Yeonjun about your lack of experience (read:none) in that department. It was Yeonjun, of course. You couldn’t find anyone else to admit this kind of information to. 

Yeonjun doesn’t know why he’s said it; it flew out of his mouth faster than he could register. But all he did know is that he did want to kiss you. To give you your first kiss. A foot-popping, rom-com, magical kiss. You deserved it. He wanted it. 

“Wanna kiss me?”

His voice has a low timbre to it when he asks this.

There’s an ocean ringing in your ears in the midst of your raging emotions - confusion, shock, and above all, glee. To be kissed by Choi Yeonjun, was like plucking a star from the sky and handing it to you. 

Your neck moves almost mechanically in a single nod. And then his lips are on yours. 

There’s colors yet darkness behind your eyelids that flutter close. Your lips are moving softly and shyly against his, which are gentle yet firm. Like he wants this as bad as you. Like tasting you wasn’t a chore, but a reward. 

You think Yeonjun tastes like popcorn and excitement. He thinks you taste exactly like summer.

The Second Summer - August

The windows in the car are slightly fogging up, and beating heat outside isn’t quite helping. The heavy and quick breaths, the faintest moans of pleasure, from the bitten lips to the few scattered hickeys on your neck, as his lips, as unrelenting as ever, kept devouring your mouth would make anyone feel shy enough to look away. His eyes are slightly dimmed and he looks up through his eyelashes at you from where he’s nibbling on your collarbone, which sends a searing flame down your spine and making you whine a sound barely audible to anyone who wasn’t in the kind of proximity to you that Yeonjun was in. The whine just got more loud as you complained when he pulled away from his ministrations as the sound of his phone dinging from messages from the rest of the Three Stooges which was his friend group - all of them asking how long exactly would he take to go on a simple beer run for the party they’re holding tonight at Wooyoung’s place. Shushing your complaints with a sweet peck on your swollen lips, he said, “Sorry Tubs, but these guys won’t leave me alone unless I get their alcohol. ‘Swear they’re like impatient babies about this stuff.” Starting the car as you got out, he held your wrist just as you were about to close the door, tugging as he asked, “I’ll see you at the party, right?”, eyes gleaming with hope. Smiling, you reassured him with a simple yes, and walked over to the short distance to your house, where the rest of your friends had already gathered, waiting in your bedroom. Already bracing yourself, you opened the door to find Beomgyu funnily gasping and shouting about the marks and your messed up hair, with Rin high fiving you and Soobin, while pretending to be a mad dad at you, just hugged you with a smile that had broken through. “You know Y/N-ie, not even Olympic athletes are this dedicated to reaching the goal like you did. I’m proud of you kid.” “What’s up with all this ‘kid’ stuff, old man?” you asked him laughing as you plopped down on the beanbag next to Rin who was sorting through your wardrobe trying to find the perfect outfit for you to wear to the party, which would be your first public, public appearance with Yeonjun.

If you weren’t going to lie, you were quite nervous. Yunha was supposed to be at this party too. And Yeonjun and you hadn’t talked about the ‘deal’ you both had made, the one which would end with him being with Yunha again, at all since that kiss in his room. The rest of the days since then had since been blurred into kiss-filled memories highlighted with more dates and more memories with him. With not a single mention of what happened before, or what would happen later. If this was the only way you could have Yeonjun, in an unspoken way, the self-destructive, addicted part of you was okay with that. But all good things did come to an end. You had spoken to Beomgyu about your predicament, who had been nothing but a patient and attentive listener to you, despite the boy’s regular nature. He offered you some advice - the kind that you knew was so realistic that only Beomgyu could offer it. 

“Confront him about it at the party tonight. Perhaps being this publicly out with you might make him remember your contract too. Then you guys could come to a conclusion, hopefully a good one.”

You’re fidgeting with your fingers on the way to the party, non-verbal and staring out the window in Soobin’s car as the three of them sensed you needed your space, left you alone. Tonight was an important night. 

Jung Wooyoung’s house was no joke. A sprawling mansion with five private jacuzzis, countless bedrooms and more space than required, the party teeming across the entire property seemed to be in full swing when you all arrived. A text alert on your phone from Yeonjun made you look away from the sheer grandness of the house,

[Yawnzzn] 10:26 PM: come meet me at the jacuzzi marked number 3. it’s the one behind the fountain 🙂

Fountain? Jacuzzi? God, was Wooyoung rich. The number of amenities had your head spinning, and it was almost like deja vu, the way you found yourself separated from your friends again at a party. Fortunately enough, this time you’d told them about the message and about meeting Yeonjun. Beomgyu had given an extra reassuring look when you left, silently cheering you on for what you were planning to do tonight. Pushing past sweaty bodies and handsy couples, drunk teenagers and passed out bodies on the floor, you tried to find your way to the location that Yeonjun had messaged. The enormity of the house didn’t make it easy, and honestly you were getting quite dizzy from all the overstimulation around you. But you had to find him first. 

Finally spotting a cluster of palm leaves and an artificial water fountain, made of polished rocks and lighting from below making the water look ethereal, you ambled your way there, pushing past the leaves to get behind the fountain to where Yeonjun said the jacuzzi was. Making it past the rocks, you saw the jacuzzi, where your boy sat with his feet in the glowing blue water, the shadows of the water rippling across his face. There was your beautiful boy, sitting right next to Kim Yunha. 

You didn’t know what to say. Or do. He was looking at her the way you swore he looked at you, with all that hope and all that endearment in his face. Then his face fell, with a tinge of visible anger clustering in his furrowed eyebrows, when you heard the words in her voice, “So what, you gonna extend your contract with your pathetic little fake-girl? Or are you just man up and come back to me?” There seemed to be some sort of satisfaction in the smirk Kim Yunha wore, amplifying when she looked right at you, gleaming with some sort of vengeance. As soon as she did, Yeonjun did too, with a look of utter bewilderment and helplessness. Sort of like how you felt. 

It was like piercing a knife right through you, hot and searing which led to the same kind of tears running right down your face. The look you wore had something inexplicably sharp poking Yeonjun deeply in the chest. He was trying to get around the wet floor, trying to reach you, screaming something. 

But you didn’t hear anything. It was like there was that ocean in your ears again, raging violently this time. Your breath was quickening like falling sand. You didn’t know what to think right now. The summer was supposed to end, and this was the end of your summer, and fuck, he got what he wanted, didn’t he? And left you with nothing. You didn’t know what to do, so you did the only thing you could do, and you ran. 

The Second Summer - Yeonjun’s Summer

If you had asked Yeonjun how his summer was going, he would just say one thing. “This summer, I fell in love.”

74 missed calls have accumulated in your phone over the past three days, where you’ve laid just rotting in your bed. Your eyes are probably still puffy from the way that when you think the tears have ended, they begin again. Rin spent the night over the first night, after hearing your broken recount of the events that had happened to the best of your abilities, amongst the gut-wrenching sobs that wouldn’t stop and the horrible ache in your heart that just wouldn’t stop. The second night, it was Beomgyu, accompanied by Taehyun and Kai, who had come back from visiting their family and been filled in by the rest of the gang on the current happenings. Beomgyu seemed quite angry at himself, after all he was the one who had suggested that you seek out Yeonjun at the party. But when you limply just grabbed his hand while tears streamed down your face noiselessly, the three boys just gathered around you in a circle, encasing you and trying their best to shield you from pain; even though the pain was deep inside you, like a hurtful wrench determined to dig right into you. 

Soobin was here on the third night, declining all the calls from the boy who broke your heart, who seemed to be relentless in his attempts. He had gotten what he had wanted, didn’t he? He got his precious girlfriend back, and was he stupid enough to expect the both of you would continue to be friends? “I don’t get why he called me there if she was going to be there as well”. Your voice is as frail as a dying leaf in winter, thin like paper and watery that had Soobin himself tearing up for his friend. 

You did have quite a lot of unanswered questions that would remain a mystery to you, you guessed. Did everything really mean nothing to you? Was I the only one calling it everything? Do you miss me? I miss you. I miss you a lot even though I shouldn’t. I miss you all the time. I hate you. I miss you. 

Another buzzing call on your phone had you break out of your headspace. “Soob”, you began in a watery voice, “I’m gonna go shower. Maybe get rid of this stench and sadness on me. You go home and get some rest, okay?””But-” “Trust me.” He understood that this was something you needed, and giving you one last hug, he walked out, leaving you alone in the room where you first felt Yeonjun. 

He’s been driving around aimlessly for the past three days. Ever since that night, he’s been sleeping in his car, which had gathered protests from the rest of his friends. But he couldn’t stomach going into his room, where he’d kissed you for the first time. He was haunted now, by the most beautiful ghost. A ghost whom he’d hurt. 

He has been cursing out Kim Yunha in his mind continuously, but not as much as he’d been cursing himself. When she’d overheard the conversation he was having with Changbin, Wooyoung and Chan about how he was ready to cut the contract-deal bullshit between you both, to finally put an end to the Yunha business, and finally ask you to be his as much as he already was yours, he should’ve taken some action. He shouldn’t have fallen for her innocent act, where she pretended to be actually interested in hearing about you. He should’ve cut her off immediately, and then run to you and kissed you long and hard.

But he didn’t. He didn’t and now you were hurt because of him and he couldn’t find you at all. There seemed to be no activity about you. You hadn’t blocked him, but you didn’t pick up his calls. His texts were still going through, but left on delivered. He was lost, and you were the only one who could compass him back to shore. 

He doesn’t know when to pin-point to the moment being the moment when he realized that he’d fallen hard and fast for you. Every date with you made him crave your presence more. Funny jokes seem funnier when he hears your laugh. Movies were more entertaining only when you were sitting next to him, pressed up to him so that he could smell your shampoo and hold your hand, the pads of his fingers tracing every crease on your palm. Or maybe it was when you became the first person to take an interest in the real him - the Yeonjun who liked dancing and animal ears and popcorn and ice creams from the convenience store. Maybe he was a goner the moment he sat in that bathtub at the party with you. Losing an anchor like you meant he was back to being adrift at sea.

It’s the 4th day of being on no-contact with Yeonjun. Since that fateful day where your heart had been shattered to pieces. You’re back at the convenience store you’d worked that summer, on some sort of heritage tour of the moments you had before you were crushed. You walked on over to the ice cream box, chuckling sadly when you noticed the exact ice cream you’d recommended him still being there. You weren’t sure how or when you’d stop remembering him in the small things. But in some deep, deep part of you, you wanted to remember him. You wanted to remember how high you felt around him. 

“Y/N.”

It's like the temperature in the store drops significantly when he says your name. You’re refusing to turn around, shoulder seized up and taut. He’s here, he’s here, why the fuck is he here?

“Y/N, please.” He doesn’t want to get too close to you just yet. He wants to give you the space you need. But fuck, if he just didn’t feel the largest wave of relief in his chest when he spotted you entering the convenience store. 

“Y/N, Tubs. Please. Just hear me out. Please? I promise you it’s not what it looked like.”

He sounds so utterly desperate and broken that it makes your heart ache enough to make you turn around, making you gasp at his disheveled appearance.

There’s dark eye bags under his eyes which have lost any spark they held before. Despite the brightness of the sun outside, he seemed to look almost gray in color. Like life was sucked right out of him. His concerning appearance had you shuffling hesitantly towards him, which he was ever-so welcoming to. Opening his mouth, his voice was hoarse, as began explaining everything. 

You’re both seated outside that store again, where that godforsaken deal began. He seems much lighter now, and much better. His hand is inches from yours, and hesitating to close the gap. The moment is so tender, so precious, that even one wrong move has him fearing that you’d leave, and he’d be broken again. “Is the deal over then?”, you ask him, which has his eyes widening. “Fuck the deal, baby. I’m so sorry that it even was a thing. I like you, Y/N Y/L/N. I might even just be in love with you, and I’m mad enough about you to admit it. You’re like breathing to me, Y/N.”

He’s here again, and he’s so, so beautiful again. This time, it’s you closing the gap between your hands, his palm bringing back fond memories to your mind. “Well, Yeonjun, I hope the deal is over. I’d like to declare it over, because I would prefer it a lot more if you became my real boyfriend, instead of my fake one.”

It’s the summer before junior year and you’re only sixteen, but you swear that this is love. You may not know much, but you’re sure. Reaching here might’ve been hell, like fighting modern Sparta. But you wouldn’t have ended it any differently, with you and him and a summer in a convenience store, eating ice pops and sharing frozen kisses. 

Bonus: The first fall

You’re standing in front of your locker. The first day of school jitters were significantly lesser compared to your previous years. Picking up the singular post-it that had seemed to have found itself in your locker, you turned it around to find Yeonjun’s scrawling handwriting saying only one thing. I love you. And just as you grinned from the message, the boy in question wrapped his arms around your torso, planting a sweet kiss on the right side of your neck, and then deeply inhaling your scent, which made you laugh happily. “Cool people write post-its by the way. That should also be a tip you should consider for your highschool journey.” “Of course, my cool boyfriend. I’ll definitely keep in mind that post-its are for cool people.” If Yeonjun was a star, you were his star charter. You’d still have to get through the battleground of high school. But doing it with Yeonjun just made the whole journey much sweeter, didn’t it?

“Just for the record, I still don’t like him.” ”Shut up Soobin!”.

[agustdiv1ne]

in no particular order, here are my favorite fics that i've read this year!! please show a lot of love to all of these wonderful authors <3 (also please heed their rules, esp for nsfw fics!!)

part of my 2023 wrap up!

@koqabear

um like. quite literally everything sol has posted this year. i am being so serious. check out their masterlist right NEOWWWW and read EVERYTHING

@blackhairedjjun

flowers of every color — i could rave about this series for like 10 hours straight, i'm not even kidding. it's sweet with the perfect amount of angst to really draw you in, i fell in love with every character more and more with each chapter <3 now where is my prince!jjunie :(

@tyunkus

amazon wishlist (m) — me when me when me when roommate!tyun offers to fuck me...god, i need this so bad

@jishyucks

gloves & dittany — OHHHHH how i love this fic...one of the best harry potter aus i have ever read, and with yeonjun?? slytherin!yeonjun!!!! ooooo you really got me good, op <3

bittersweet — *cowboy cat meme* DRUNK SOOOOOOOOOB i think this wins the award for being the cutest fic i read in the year of 2023

@beom-pyu

i can't swim, idiot! (m) — i will never not shut up about this fic...just faking married? with beomgyu?? with feelings involved??? yeah. Yeah <3

like the moon — merman!kai you will always be famous to me, one of my all-time favorites by far!!!!!

@toruro

answers (m) — this academic rival!taehyun fic had me screaming crying gnawing on my leg like wtf mika. how could you do this to me. i am dead now.

@hyukalyptus

something nice (m) — i went SOOOO insane over this fic like the dynamics were just. scrumptious. i love yeonkai i love this fic i love hp for writing this yes yes yes

like, never ever? (m) — ohhhh my god. this one really got me good,, dom best friend!beomgyu giving mc her first orgasm?? sign me tf up !!!!!!

@qqtxt

sway with me — i sent this in for their 1k event i just :')))) i love this so so so much!!!! dancing with yeonjun is my dream, so thank you for taking my request op!! <3

@hueareloved / @huenation

my love mine all mine (m) — the most tender and soft and SWEET nsfw fic i have ever read, so in love with this and sleepy lovesick jjunie AGHH brb rereading this

ditto — ohhhh how i love angst. amor's writing style is beautiful and it made this beomgyu fic that much more heart-wrenching <3

@huckleberrykai

laundry basket (m) — no bc this went CRAZYYY with the perv!mc thing, savored every single word of this kai fic tbh

comfy cozy (m) — CUTE AF. i am the biggest proponent of soft smut and berry writes it so well <3 i loveee soft yeonjun more than life itself

@aduh0308 / @banggyu0308

yeehaw (m) — OKAYYY cowboys!taejun fucking destroyed me like. i don't think i ever recovered from this

berry sorbet (m) — i need kai to be my soulmate rn wtf. cute n sweet and i loved it

@boba-beom

airport crush pt.2 (m) — the minute smiles told me she was working on airport crush pt.2 i passed away. nothing could have prepared me for this fic, it destroyed me in the best way...god, i need yeonjun so bad

trapped in your game (m) — i salivated. i quaked. i (s)creamed. best friend!yeonjun, please hmu </3

@napofamoon / @mazeinthemoon

you're the one love (m) — moonie ATE with this fallen angel!yeonjun fic!! i love sacrilege n this was just sooo hot

@tubatwo

workaholic — this made me giggle and kick my feet so hard...i love you cafe boss taehyun, pls marry me

@hyuk4ngel

honeymoon avenue — i. love. angst. and fay is exceptionally talented at writing it!! taehyun better watch out tho >:(

@mapofthemazeinthemirror / @afterbluehours

untitled (m) — this yeonbin x reader fic is SOOOO hot like. i screamed. i cried. i rolled around in a fetal position because it just made me so insane

@nightlyawnzz

duality (m) — OHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYY GODDDDDDD i think this is one of the hottest kai fics i have ever read in my entire life. i don't often see kai as a hard dom in fics so this opened my eyes (can't wait for the final part!!)

@scintillasofbeomgyu

you are in love — one of my jjunie comfort fics!!! sweet n soft and everything to me :')

@petrichor-han

twenty-three suns (m) — rain's writing style hits me straight in the gut, especially with this summer fling au with taehyun :') lovely yet heart-wrenching and AGHH i love this

@ncteez

untitled (m) — UMMM this camboy!yeonjun fic altered the trajectory of my entire life. i fucking die every time i read this, like it has to be laced with crack or something

menace (m) — this was batshit INSANE LIKEEEE gangster!yoongi fucked me up so bad (in the best way)

@yeonboy

never meet your heroes — ONE OF MY FAVS EVER. LIKE. COLLEGE AU WITH SOOBIN???? I AM SO OBSESSED YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND

@ijhyo

how to get the girl — i ate this up SO hard. i just adore both the mc and beomgyu's characters in this, definitely another all-time favorite of mine

@cheolhub

head (m) — SAR YOU WERE INSANE FOR THIS. sub!soobin makes me so feral and this made my brainrot even worse UGHHH

@starbandit

backseat (m) — oh. oh yeah. now this is everything to me, best friend!yeonjun + car sex = a very very happy me

@tonicandjins

learning languages (m) — i don't often read donghyuck fics (or nct fics in general), but this one. oh, this one is beautiful. it made me cry, it made go through so many emotions i just. read this right now, you won't regret it

@heart2beom

cliche — i still vividly remember this first time that i read this, the dialogue is hilarious and it is just sweet n fluffy n AGHH i will forever adore this fic <3

and some more accounts with amazing fics!!!: @majestyjun @hyewka @taegimood @naomiarai @hyuk4sbf @fairyofshampgyu @enha-cafe @moonhoures @wolfytae-exe @dearlyjun @heartchoi @sook9i @tinietaehyun @minastras

a big thank you to all of these writers for sharing your works!! <3

[illarian-rambling]

Illaros Illuminated Ep.1: Honor's Outcasts 🌠

Welcome everyone to the first episode of our newest gimmick, a character talkshow! Thank you to everyone who sent in questions for my Outcasts quartet to answer. Without further adieu, lets get to it!

[Our four interviewees sit in a well-furnished set. Izjik, a very butch and physically fit selkie, is making silly faces at the camera. Sepo, a grumpy looking siren with long brown hair, sits beside her and glowers at the lights. On the other couch, Twenari, a teenager with well-kept locs and mad-dog eyes, whispers into the ear of Djek, a sketchy young man with a buzzcut, who giggles at something she says.]

Interviewer: "Hello there, Outcasts, infamous heroes of Illaros! Our first question for you today is a soft-ball from @seastarblue: What are your favorite weapons? Very appropriate for a sellsword troupe such as yourselves, ey?"

Izjik immediately raises her hand. "Oh, me first! My favorite weapon is my washava. It's a carved stone on the end of a rope, balanced to work just as well above or below water. It's not an easy thing to wield, but treat it well, and it'll let you grapple, strike, and trip with just one weapon. I'm pleased to call myself a bit of a master of the thing!"

Sepo nods at that. He taps a pin on his shirt, and suddenly, you can hear his low, raspy voice in your head. "I can attest - the washava is a bitch to use. I prefer a simple dagger. Up close and personal, or a distant flash in the night: it's my poison to pick."

"Magic is my favorite," Twenari pipes up. "It's not always a weapon, which is a common misconception, but it can be used to devastating effect in a pinch. Especially if I'm the one wielding it."

Djek hesitates a bit before answering. "Are words an option?"

Twenari shrugs. "I'd say they are."

"If anyone can use a pun to deadly effect, it's you," Sepo grumbles.

Djek flashes the siren a shit-eating grin. "Oh, well, now you're making it look like I'm fishing for compliments."

Sepo just sighs deeply.

Interviewer: "Our next question comes from @mk-writes-stuff: To all of them, what’s your biggest pet peeve about one or more of the others? Like something that’s objectively probably not a big deal but drives you up a wall?"

All of them stare at each other in silence for a second.

Sepo gives them all a long look. "Do you want me to go alphabetically or in order of grievance?"

"That. That's my pet peeve about you," Djek announces. "You've always gotta be a bitch about things."

"Ditto," Izjik says.

"Ok, well, you're an incurably picky eater who makes going to any restaurant a battle, and you're a messy bitch who's allergic to picking up his dirty clothes." Sepo huffs dramatically. "Twenari, you're.... I guess you could stand to pay better attention when people are talking to you."

Twenari just shrugs. "None of you know how to manage money, that's my only gripe."

"That's what we've got you for, kid." Izjik grins.

Djek sizes up Izjik with a long look. "The thing you do that annoys me the most... uh...."

"Watch yourself, little man." Izjik, notably shorter than Djek, yawns wide to display her pointed teeth.

"Your muscles are just too fantastic," Djek quickly says, nodding sagely. "How's a skinny fellow like myself to compete?"

Izjik leans back, content. "That's what I thought."

"Izjik, you're a morning person. That pisses me off," Twenari admits. "How are you just... like that at six in the morning? It's unnatural."

"I'd be more of a morning person if you didn't wake me up cooking rigatoni at one in the morning." Izjik’s voice is sweet, though her smile is strained. "My darling girl, who the actual fuck makes pasta in the middle of the night?"

"...It helps me de-stress," Twenari mumbles.

Interviewer: "Next up, in a change of pace from @rumeysawrites: To all four of them, what do each of you like the most about the other three?"

"Aw, this one's way easier!" Djek pulls Twenari into a half-hug. "You're like, the smartest ever, but you're also the best teacher I've ever met. You make the world easier to understand for everyone else around you. Izjik, my favorite thing about you is how considerate you are. You always know the best things to say, and how to cheer someone up when they're up in their shit. Sepo, your best trait is how your forehead can be used as a mirror in a pinch." Djek makes a little heart with his hands.

Sepo’s eye gives a subtle twitch.

"Ah, just kidding, you're the most stubborn bastard I've ever met." Djek flashes the other man a smile. "You've never given up on anything in your life. If I'm ever in trouble, I know you won't stop til I'm out."

Sepo clears his throat, his face having gone quite pink. "That's... You're a funny guy, Djek. You make me laugh. Twenari, you're a rare spot of common sense in this hellhole of a world, and Izjik, you're my sister."

"Haha, I love you too." Izjik musses up Sepo's hair in an affectionate gesture. "And I know you love me. Everyone you love knows it - that's my favorite thing about you."

Sepo’s face goes from pink to bright red.

"Djek, your favorite thing about me is actually my favorite thing about you!" Izjik continues. "You've got a silver damn tongue - you always seem to know what to say, especially to comfort folks. And Twenari, you might be the bravest one of us all. You've got a level-head, that's for sure, and I doubt all of us would be here without it."

Twenari pulls at her collar. "Oh damn, I have to follow all that up? Sepo, you're a wonderful conversationalist and I love our chats. Izjik, you're so incredibly kind. Djek... you're like the big brother I never had. I like how you include me when you go out to parties and stuff."

"Oh, that deserves an even bigger hug!" Djek pulls the younger girl close, beaming happily.

Interviewer: "Oh here's a fun one! From @thecomfywriter, for Izjik specifically: Why do you feel so ashamed to ask for help? Why do you feel like a burden when you yourself have no problem burdening yourself for others?”

There is another long beat of silence.

Izjik crosses her arms after a pause. "Hey, what the FUCK-"

"Yeah, Izjik, why are you so bad at asking for help?" Djek asks, leaning in close.

Twenari taps her chin. "I have noticed that, yes. You do tend to avoid asking for help. Especially with End, but also when it comes to, like, things around the house. Or when you get hurt."

"Not when you're sick, though - you're a needy bitch when you're sick," Djek adds.

Izjik shifts, clearly uncomfortable. At her side, Sepo places a hand over hers.

"Well, I guess..." She huffs, frustrated. "I don't fucking know. I don't think I'm ashamed to ask for help at all - I just like to be able to take care of things myself."

"You never wanted my help when it came to researching End," Sepo murmurs.

"That's not... That's different." Izjik grimaces. "End is fucking dangerous. I didn't want to involve anyone else in that. Also, I was scared of what we might find."

"So, it's dangerous, but it's ok if you're the only one in danger?" Djek asks slyly.

"Better just me than all of us!" Izjik snaps. "I'm an old hand at dealing with End - you aren't. I'd rather let it hurt me than let it hurt you too. I protect people. That's what I do. And I'd be pretty shit at that if I let my nonsense get you guys in trouble."

"We can protect you too," Twenari whispers.

"But you don't have to," Izjik replies. "I can handle myself and my issues. If I truly think I can't take care of something on my own, I'll go to you guys."

"You overestimate your capabilities," Sepo says bluntly.

Izjik scowls, bearing her teeth. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean??"

"It means you're supposed to ask for help before you break, not after," Sepo answers.

"Wh- I- I don't-" Izjik flounders for a moment.

Djek whispers behind his hand. "Your line is, 'Ok, Sepo, you got me there.'"

Blushing, Izjik sits back with a huff. "Ok, Sepo, you got me there."

Interviewer: "Another one from @thecomfywriter: ACTUALLY WAIT I HAVE A GROUP QUESTION: what’s the messiest drama that’s occurred within the squad? who was on whose side? (i want MESS LOL)"

Izjik grimaces. "Look, bitch, I don't know what your problem is-"

"Oh, it was definitely that time you and Sepo were arguing over that assassination." Djek shudders theatrically.

"Gods beyond, don't remind me," Twenari adds with an eyeroll.

"Please, it wasn't that bad," Sepo huffs.

"I listened to you scream into a pillow for a full two minutes." Djek gives the siren a pointed look. "You know, I think that was the first time I realized, 'Wow, this guy is not human!' Who the hell has the lung capacity for that?"

"You punched through a cabinet." Twenari points at Izjik. "Then you two gave each other the silent treatment for weeks."

"Very adult," Djek adds.

"Very mature," Twenari continues.

"I gotta say, though, I think Sepo was in the right on that one." Djek turns to Twenari. This is their discussion now, both seafolk having gone red as they avoid eye contact. "Izjik should've told him the sirens knew about End - he just loses points cause he was a total asshole about it."

"Really?" Twenari cocks her head. "I think she had the right to keep that secret. It didn't really change anything if the sirens were after us for a different reason than we thought. Also, can you honestly say Sepo wouldn't have thrown himself back into the ocean to get himself killed hunting the Silver Sovereign if he'd known?"

"I resent that," Sepo mumbles. Both of the humans ignore him.

"Yeah, neither of them were really playing fair." Djek leans lazily upon the armrest. "I guess they were both a little right and both a little wrong."

"Agreed. Here's to not having to deal with that anymore." Twenari reaches out and shakes Djek’s hand.

Djek chuckles. "You got that fucking right."

Izjik and Sepo both share an embarrassed glance, but say nothing.

Interviewer: "And finally, from @kaylinalexanderbooks: I'd like to know everyone's most embarrassing moment. See who can answer for themselves and who needs others to answer for them."

"I don't enjoy this game," Sepo mutters.

"I threw up in my mouth once cause I got so scared my first time hearing a bobcat scream," Djek volunteers eagerly. "It was back in the Sarytas when I went off alone to gather firewood. I heard like this low scream, like some big dude getting knifed. I thought I was about to get serial killed before I remembered, oh yeah, bobcats sound like a man screaming!"

There's an extended pause.

"Djek..." Twenari makes a face. "Bobcats sound like a woman screaming.... It's a very high scream...."

The pause gets even longer.

"Oh." Djek rubs the back of his head. "Then, what was- Actually, no, I don't wanna know."

"I ran into a rock so hard I knocked out three of my teeth once." Izjik grins, showing off her pearly chompers. "Course, these suckers grow back, but Sepo made a joke by starting to use the same sign for 'concussion' and 'rock,' and it's stuck til this day."

"Mine was probably...." Twenari sighs as her cheeks grow noticeably darker. "Mine was probably that time I tried to ask Tahla D. out to the 9th grade dance, but I didn't know she had a boyfriend, so he poured his milk carton over my head and my hair smelled like sour milk for the whole day."

"We can still beat the little fucker if you want," Izjik offers, cracking her knuckles. "I'll go to jail over that. Not like they'll keep me there long anyways."

"No, that's ok." Twenari smiles lightly. "I cursed his locker to un-do any homework he put in there anyways. Mostly, I just feel bad about making things weird with Tahla. She was really cool."

"It's alright, my most embarrassing moment was realizing I wasn't interested in sex when an upperclassmen of mine took off her shirt for me." Sepo shakes his head in distant memory. "She asked me to come back to her room to work on scales. I showed up with my music folder and she showed up in lingerie. My brother took my chore rotation for a full month just so I could avoid interacting with her afterwards."

"I don't know, that time you fell down the drainpipe was pretty bad too," Izjik replies laughingly.

Sepo sniffs delicately. "I was severely concussed - that doesn't count."

"Hey, at least we can be content in knowing we have the most game in this little cluster of chuckle fucks." Djek reaches over to dap Izjik up - a gesture she returns heartily.

"Here's to running into rocks and throwing up in your mouth." Izjik grins.

Yeah, none of these four have any shame lol. Thanks again to everyone who participated! Keep an eye out for a part two later on: Mortal God edition :)

@amandacanwrite @elsie-writes @riveriafalll @kosmic-kore @kaylinalexanderbooks

@bard-coded @carrotsinnovember @patternwelded-quill @somethingclevermahogony @whatwewrotepodcast

@the-angriest-author @mk-writes-stuff @frostedlemonwriter @vyuntspakhkite-l-darling @watermeezer

@leahnardo-da-veggie @mr-orion @televisionjester @ray-writes-n-shit @evilgabe29

@trippingpossum @tragedycoded @halfbakedspuds @ominous-feychild @cain-e-brookman

@wyked-ao3 @thecomfywriter @mysticstarlightduck @rumeysawrites @the-golden-comet

@cowboybrunch @gioiaalbanoart @theink-stainedfolk

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

Hello! Love your page, sugar bean! Saw you’re taking requests and thought I’d throw my hat in the ring

Please: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x reader with

fluff prompt : #5 the one about running a bath and angst prompt #5: “where did you get those bruises?” maybe reader helps Simon bathe after Las Almas? Or vise versa, your call sug!

💕

Thank you so much!!

Lavender Bath Drops

Masterlist

Contains: Angst, fluff.

604 words

Comment if you want to be tagged or follow #sp's 150 fanfic celebration for more fics.

You treat Simon to a hot bath when he comes back from his op in Las Almas.

You knew it had been rough by the way the door opened and the sound of Simon's boots falling on the tiles at the entrance to your home. You came out of the kitchen and rounded the corner, and found yourself wrapped in his embrace as he took you in his arms. "Welcome home dearest."

"Hello love." His voice was filled with exhaustion and despite the fact that he was squeezing the life out of you, you could feel how sore his muscles were. "What's for dinner?"

So it was one of those times when he didn't even want to talk about it. Contrary to what most people thought about Simon, he was very open with the people he cared about and you usually at least got a sentence about the op before he slid back into normal life. "I made your favourite, plus super crispy baked potatoes and sticky toffee pudding. It's ready whenever you are."

He gave you a soft smile and his hand came up to cup your cheek. "Thank lovely, you're an angel." He sighed as his eyes drifted to the bathroom. "I'll have a shower first, I've been in a cargo plane for ten hours."

You shook your head. "I'm going to run you a bath, and you're not going to do anything." You gently shoved him towards the bathroom, and once you were inside, fussed around with the fancy oil before running the bath as hot as he could stand it.

You dripped a slightly purple liquid into the water, and a gentle floral smell filled the air. "What's that, Love?"

"Homemade Lavender bath drops. They should help with your aches and pains." With the bath almost full, you walked over to him and started to remove his clothes, slowly revealing the various colours as the fabric fell free. You pointed to the nasty one over his liver, all black and blue with hints of red that let you know how deep it was. "Where did you get those bruises?"

His breath caught, and he shot you a look. "Graves was dirty, the last few days have been rough."

With all his clothes off, you could see the full extent, he was a mess. "I'm sorry, Honey. I know you liked him." You pointed over to the tub and placed your hand on his shoulder. "Hop in, you might feel better once you've had a soak."

You took the seat at the end of the bath, usually reserved for the days that Simon wanted to wash your hair, and picked up a washcloth, waiting until he slid in with a groan to start gently cleaning his skin. "You're too good to me y/n."

You shook your head and twisted yourself to kiss him, uncaring that you risked falling in. "Not at all. I love you very much and I missed you terribly."

He gave you a slight nod as he relaxed into the water. "I know love, I feel the same way. Getting home to you was all I thought about half the time."

You could feel the tension fade under your hands as you continued. "And the other half of the time?"

"Killing Graves." There was a bit of humour in his voice and it was your turn to relax, as long as he was talking about what happened you knew he was dealing with it. "Thank you for doing this for me." You went to reply, but he stopped you with a hand on your wrist. "I love you more than life itself y/n."

You sighed and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Ditto my dear."

Fin

@chaos-4baby

[nightislandnoveltymug]

actually, proper answer now that i'm awake and have had some time to percolate lol. best thing armand did!

i should say this is kind of a tie for me because the person armand becomes with daniel is always going to be up there -- he didn't let him die, he gave daniel what he wanted, but more importantly he told him, and showed him, that he loved him, and just in general in their time together he allowed daniel to see so much of his real genuine vulnerability and cared for him and worried about him so much and that fucks me up!!

but!! the thing i actually wanted to mention is his homes! (this is maybe cheating a little bit because it isn't something he did, it's something he does, but whatever.) one of the things i love most about armand is that he's always creating these stable places and central points for everybody to congregate on. while a lot of the others are sort of nomadic and don't stay in touch and you don't really know where they are, he is always (as he says) "a canker in the very eye of the world". he's easy to find, he stays in one place and he uses his resources and his power to create these stable, lasting home bases and then opens his doors to others. he creates stability and then shares it in a way that really nobody else does.

and i think it's very interesting because this sort of stability is a character trait that (i think!) maybe most people would first and foremost think to associate with elders like maharet, or marius, when in actual fact, the truth is that neither of them has ever done that -- for their own disparate reasons they've always been highly reclusive, and have protected their own stability by staying out of touch with the rest of the vampire world, not opening their doors, and for the most part not helping anyone or intervening in anything in any way.

there's something fascinating and honestly poignant about like... armand, maybe subconsciously, running a household according to an ideal which (imo!) is based on marius, except that marius has never actually done that. not for vampires. and so in actual fact, this is something that armand has innovated; this actually comes from him, and is coloured by his experience with the covens (which marius has never shown anything but disdain for), and perhaps even beyond that, by his experience with the sense of community in monastic life (which really ditto).

i personally suspect that rather than praiseworthy, he probably sees this as ultimately pretty self-serving on his own part, because he has this longing for community that drives him to create these places, so he probably just sees it as something he does so that he won't have to be alone. and also, from the way he talks in late canon you get the sense that he rather sees himself as trying to atone, and as trying to emulate those who are better than him. when in fact he's doing something that nobody else is doing, and in many ways (imo) behaving more like a leader of a community than any of the characters that everyone else thinks ought to lead, like marius or lestat. not because they couldn't, but because neither of them has ever had the resources, capabilities, patience, and willingness to create something like that and then open it up.

and for a character who's been so lost, and has spent so much of his life feeling lost, feeling abandoned (and i think, right up until present day, still feels that way really), and has spent so much of his life looking for something to anchor his life to, without ever having the luxury of truly finding it, and having to just sort of go on anyway, keep living anyway -- for that character to be a stable anchor point for everybody else is something that really really gets me about him, maybe especially because i think he isn't fully aware of it himself.

[deripmaver]

What’s The Point Of Elaine?

There are three eras of Casca in Berserk so far: Golden Age, Elaine, and Revived Casca. I find that within the fandom, Elaine is written off as not particularly worth analysis, that she just represents a transition state between the real Cascas, pre-eclipse and now revived. 

I do in some ways understand this feeling - Miura has said that in developing the story of Berserk, he ultimately decided in keeping Casca alive only because he needed a way to keep Guts’ rage intact, and not let the sands of time dull his need for revenge. This comes from an interview with Miura from 2017, that he spared Casca because she makes sure Guts never forgets the Eclipse. If I may editorialize, though, I think there are narrative reasons to keep a character alive, but that doesn’t mean said character isn’t being independently developed and doesn’t have their own inner world, especially when Miura has said repeatedly he’s trying to write real people and not archetypes. If I may also be snarky for a moment, considering one of my first interactions on Berserk tumblr had someone arguing that Casca stans read too much into Miura’s quote on her recovery to the point where you can’t even really assume he intended to have her recover - perhaps it’s reading too much into this quote to extrapolate that “Casca remained alive to fuel Guts’ anger = Casca as a character is only a plot device for Guts and Miura had no intention of developing her outside of that.”

Another reason to overlook her as a character that I do understand: Elaine is completely voiceless. She literally does not speak except for baby-ish noises from the time after eclipse until chapter 355, practically 275 chapters. For all of that time, we are given no indicating of how Casca is processing the eclipse (or not processing) - and so in some ways Elaine is just a narrative place holder as Kentaro Miura found his footing with her recovery. 

My intention with this post is to show that it is possible to gain a bit of insight into Casca’s feelings and emotions as Elaine from some key moments, even though she is never given a voice. Much like (in my opinion lol but also I’m right) Beast of Darkness is just a facet of Guts’ mind and not a separate being, ditto Femto for Griffith, Elaine is Casca, and she’s being written as Casca, just a shallow and surface level version of her. 

Elaine has these few shining moments where Casca comes through, showing that deep inside her mind, Casca is there, a terrified little sprite shielded by this childish outer shell, hiding from the world. First, when she jumps down the cliff during Conviction Arc:

Next, when she kills the men who attempt to rape her during the Winter’s Journey. 

I won’t post any more panels from that chapter lol. It would be better if there was just... A look into her mind during those moments, just for an instant. What made the actual Casca come through in those moments? How did she feel, suddenly being back in her body, in a world infinitely more terrifying than the one before she regressed? What happened to make her go back in, in her safe little cocoon of Elaine? 

Another moment where Casca comes through just for a moment is, in my opinion, one of the most powerful in the series: 

Casca has run to Griffith on the Hill of Swords. It’s not clear why - perhaps she remembers their closeness before the eclipse, or perhaps she’s being drawn to the moonlight boy, her son, in his body. All of a sudden, the unstable rock wall cracks, sending boulders tumbling towards her, and Guts isn’t close enough to get to her in time...

But Griffith is.

He protects her from the falling rocks, and we get the page posted above. This is the first time Casca has seen Griffith since he raped her during the eclipse. She starts to shake and sweat with him holding her still, her noises becoming terrified. She reaches out to him with a trembling hand, her eyes filling with tears. Her brand lets out a burst of blood, and her trauma and terror overwhelms her, while Griffith stares down at her impassively. Casca is still in there, and being confronted by her rapist again, she is absolutely terrified. This, to me, says so much about Casca in this state. Again, if we only could have gotten a glimpse into her mind at the moment, even if it was through the jumbled confusion of Elaine. I think it would have added so much.

I kept waiting for this scene to happen again with Casca revived, but at this point it hasn’t happened. Even with Casca in Falconia it hasn’t happened. MAYBE ONE DAYYYYYY.

There’s a particular look Casca gets when she’s terrified and dissociated, and that remains constant from the Golden Age, to Elaine, to post-revival. 

I also especially like that second panel, when she first wakes up as Elaine because her first instinct when terrified is to attack and bite Guts. It feels like a very Casca thing to do, and in fact that’s more or less what happens on their first meeting in the Golden Age, just a tragic perversion of it. Also, her expression is so similar to the one she made when she was begging Judeau not to die.

I think it’s worth noting that the impacts of Elaine on Casca are ongoing, and unlike some of the discussion I’ve seen, I don’t think anything that’s happened to her as Elaine will be brushed aside. As Elaine, we’re first introduced to her because she is absolutely terrified of all men, even her companions. 

This is reflected in the corridor of dreams, in my view, with the very unsubtle penis monsters (which I won’t post an image of LOL) - the association of men with sexual violence and sexual assault. Her close companions as Elaine were majority women, and this remained true after her revival. By the time Guts and Casca were reunited in Conviction arc, she seemed to have lost some of her mistrust of men, and him in particular - but of course that didn’t last long.

There’s also this imagery of her in a coffin, which is again reflected in the corridor of dreams.

Finally, and most interestingly, in chapter 372 it was pointed out to me that it seems Casca remembers her ordeal at the Tower of Conviction, and being surrounded by Falconia’s soldiers reminds her of the mob trying to burn her at the stake. 

There’s a lot to say also about Casca and Guts’ relationship and how his assault of her as Elaine impacted it, but I think that’s been discussed elsewhere and better than what I could. My point in writing this is to show that Miura was writing Elaine as Casca, and that there are moments where Casca seems to come to the surface and break through the protective façade. I think it could have only helped to give us just a brief glimpse into her mind in those moments, and it’s a detriment that there was nothing. In looking at the panels of Elaine, I think we can get a sense of where Casca’s recovery might go.

Interestingly, most of the moments I’ve shown here happen from before Farnese and co. join the group, and as the later arcs drag on I feel like Elaine gets goofier and less serious of a character, kind of like chestnut puck. Still, I still hold out hope that with Casca revived, even if she is in Falconia, we’ll start to see her process what happened to her as Elaine - especially if she comes across Luca and the girls, as I’m sure she will. 

Must protecc

[bray-washed]

Some of you are gonna hate this, disagree with this, get mad at this. Whatever.

Let me say from the jump: CM Punk, 100% should not have assaulted his coworker. Should not have. That’s a fact.

HOWEVER, and this is in no way excusing the actions but this is not ALL his fault like everyone is saying. This entire scenario was building because TK cannot be a boss, that’s not to say TK is a bad person - by all accounts TK is known to be a good person just not a good boss. In TK’s defense (& being in the wrestling business as a booker & promoter myself) it’s hard to be a boss to your friends, because that’s what happened his employees became his friends and that’s a hard position to be put into; however, that does not mean he needs to neglect his duty as a boss and he clearly has. (& in my opinion, is being taken advantage of by people who are using him for his money but that’s a different conversation)

Watching that footage, it’s clear to see that CM Punk was telling the truth. Point blank, what he said happened that night, happened. So that leads me to believe that everything else leading up to that moment also happened. We can’t (conveniently) hear what’s being said but I would guess Jack said something that angered Punk - neither were really showing aggressive behavior, maybe when Jack went to turn away from Punk in the beginning & Punk pulled him back - but like? Jack was turning away mid conversation if I, as a veteran, was trying to talk to a new kids about something & they turned away from me? Yea, I’d pull them back… cause the entitlement is not happening absolutely now.

Seems to me like Jack Perry was being uncooperative from the get-go. Why? Who knows. That’s the real speculation, Punk will say it’s cause of his “friends” (the Young Bucks) influence which is a fair speculation but it could be anything. Jack Perry is young & dumb & is probably forming some kind of ego of “I know better than the old timers” every wrestler gets that mentality for a little while and they need to grow up & out of that mentality.

Punk comes from the era of wrestling where if you talk shit, you get hit - fuck around & find out, if you will… and I as well come from that era & mentality, being a professional is first on my list so I’ve never gotten into a physical fight but it doesn’t shock me or fill me with rage when it does happen - not saying it should but some people need to have those consequences come to light. Jack fucked around and Jack found out.

Now, whatever Punk said to TK, no clue… I don’t think just watching that that TK can say that he feared for his life there was nothing to fear there. Now, we can’t hear anything & I’m sure yelling was happening… but fearing for his life? Be so for real right now Tony, honey, you run a wrestling locker room… arguing is bound to happen… relax.

Genuinely, this showed most of us nothing & I don’t think it did anything to benefit AEW. AEW is just trying to fight fire with fire, for no reason. If TK wants to run a “business” then… do that. Want to know what WWE 100% would never do? Show footage of a former employee in a fight backstage. When all that nonsense when Punk left happened… did WWE show footage of Punk leaving to “prove a point”? No. Ditto for Steve Austin - who ALSO famously took his ball & went home and WWE has camera crew literally everywhere… there have been TONS of fights most likely caught on camera but we’ll never see them why? Cause they are a business.

I think this was a bad idea all around… but that’s just me.

(But also can we please talk about Samoa Joe just pacing back & forth, minding his business, getting pumped for his match…. I don’t know why but that just made me love him more.)

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia!

In response to your recent post, I have carpal tunnel and stretching actually does not help. I do try to rest my wrists and fingers a lot, but do you have any other tactics you’ve used that have worked for you? Not looking for anything to follow as proper medical advice, just curious for new ideas to try out!

Take this with a grain of salt (not a doctor, as we all know! Just someone who writes a lot and has chronic RSIs in both wrists) but the type of rest you do is really important.

For example, wrist splinting can be really helpful, but only in specific ways.

Soft splints are best during the day, but both hard and soft wrist splints can make the pain worse if you're someone who unconsciously compresses the nerve further by bending your wrist into the splint throughout the day. If you can train yourself to stop doing this, soft wrist splints during the day - esp during rest periods - can help a lot.

Hard splints overnight can be amazing, but only if you don't contort your wrists while you sleep. This one is tough. I am a chronic wrist bender at night, and have literally woken up with my hands completely numb because of it. So hard splints are out of the question for me. It's been suggested to me to wear them for the first hour of lying down because I don't fall asleep straight away, to give my wrist a solid chunk of time of pure rest and then take it off before sleeping. 30 minutes of hard splinting where you can stop yourself from bending into the hard part is better than 30 minutes without it. Ditto a soft splint.

Carpal tunnel can be brutal, don't rule out seeing a physiotherapist or physical therapist who specialises in hand issues, or an occupational therapist who does the same. And my grandma had surgery for her carpal tunnel (twice!) and doesn't regret it. I also believe cortisone injections can be helpful, but come with the downside that they're more likely to increase pain in the long-term due to how steroids act on tissues overall. So cortisone should be used cautiously imho. (As in, it's not a long-term solution. It doesn't cure anything. And it can actually make some things worse).

I personally found hot and cold soaks pretty helpful. I have some arthritis in my hands so this is part of it. Ymmv on this one. Cold soaks reduce inflammation, hot soaks increase blood flow. Both can help with nerve impingement and joint pain. There will be guidelines online as to the best way / how long to do these.

Keeping a log of the pain specifically in your wrist / thumb, or the discomfort or numbness. Rating it on a level, and writing down everything you did in the hours leading up to bad flares. For me, learning that cross-stitch was actually the worst thing I did for my ulnar nerve entrapment was the thing that has helped most in knowing what I need to stop doing immediately when symptoms flare. I thought it was my writing, and I was wrong. My writing set up is actually pretty comfortable for my hands (see below), but once the cross-stitch caused a flare, writing perpetuated it and I'd mistakenly think the writing was the problem because I do that every day. You might be surprised which things can cause your worst flares. (Or not!)

Rest is rest. This one is hard. When it's our hands, we use them for literally everything. Often when we 'rest our wrists' it means stopping doing the things we know are direct triggers, but nothing else. But it actually means near complete rest from cooking, preparing food, petting our animal companions, holding our phone or tablet in bed or at a table, etc. This is where soft splints come in handy, they show us just how much we're using our wrists by how inconvenient they are to wear re: daily operation. As a teaching device we see quickly 'oh shit I twist my wrist badly for brushing my hair, oh shit I contort it for petting my dog behind the ears, oh shit, I've been stirring this pot at a weird angle for 10 minutes.'

Imho I don't wear splints for showering / bathroom / food. But will put it on during complete rest (which I reserve for pain + numbness flares). I will give myself about 2 days of that, and I try to treat it as seriously as a virus or flu because I don't want surgery! And obviously surgery for nerve and hand issues runs in the family.

Look into the ergonomics of the things that cause you flares. Often carpal tunnel can be exacerbated by how you hold your shoulders and elbows when you're doing the the things that cause flares. Look at whether the size of your mouse is too big for your hand (most are), look into how your wrists rest when you type on a keyboard, all of these things when adjusted for can make a big positive cumulative difference.

Getting a small Roccat Kone mouse, while expensive comparatively, stopped some of the issues in my right thumb. Because finally I had a mouse that fit my hand. (Most computer mice are designed for AMAB hands, as a result most AFAB people who use them basically long-term hurting their hands without realising - the heel of your palm should be able to rest on the mouse pad, your index and middle fingers should comfortably always be able to reach the left and right clickers without ever stretching and the thumb should rest naturally in the thumb rest if there is one. Most mice don't let the heel of the hand rest on the mouse pad without stretching for most AFAB people).

If you're using a laptop keyboard, stop as soon as you can and find a keyboard (ideally mechanical switch) that isn't high impact on your fingertips and use that. There are a lot of good, cheap bluetooth options these days. I cannot stress enough how bad laptop keyboards are for fingers and nerve issues in the hands. I type millions of words on my keyboard, I have callouses on all of my fingertips because of it. Trust me when I say you want something that will encourage your fingertips not to slam into the baseboard.

Don't get me started on if you do most of your writing on your phone. x.x The cramped positions we have to put our fingers in to both hold our phone and type is - to say the least - something younger folks get away with and older folks pay for. It's not healthy for our hands. Or wrists. Or elbows. Or shoulders. There's very few ways to make this healthy. Phones are just literally not designed to have a comfortable typing process re: cramping fingers and palms and wrists. They're designed for convenience, not carpal tunnel.

Be extremely wary of nerve flossing exercises that aren't designed for your specific issues. A lot of the Tiktok type ones are 'stretching in disguise' and can make pain worse. There's often no harm in trying them, but if the pain doesn't go away after a few days and/or gets worse, stop. I personally cultivated a curiosity atttiude. 'I'll try that for a few days and see.'

As always, professionals know more about this stuff! But make sure you're seeing hand specialists, otherwise you're likely to get more outdated information.

[your-divine-ribs]

Forbidden Part 31

Words: 3.8k

Y/N gets a glimpse of a different side to Prof Van 🖤

Forbidden Masterlist Main Masterlist

You don't breathe a word as Van carries you up the stairs. You just let him, fingers tangling in his hair where it curls at his shirt collar, your coy gaze meeting his from under your lashes as you look up at him, feeling more shy and uncertain than you've ever felt around him before.

"Don't think I've ever seen you this quiet," he muses, the smile he's wearing stirring warmth inside you. It's a different kind of heat to normal. It pools in your belly and your chest like the sweetest ache and you try to concentrate on that rather than the way that your mind is taunting you, your rarely-seen cautious side surfacing and filling you with doubts.

Is he taking you to THEIR bed? The one he lies on every night with Kathleen? What if she comes home early? What if the trip's been cut short for some reason? What will you do if she walks in and discovers you here?

Maybe you should go. Make an excuse and call a cab and leave before something bad happens. You know you should do it. But you don't.

"I am kinda nervous," you admit, glancing around to see that you've reached the first floor landing. "It just seems strange being here with you... in your house. I really shouldn't be here. What if Kath..."

The look in Van's eyes cuts your words dead. It's quite obvious that particular topic of discussion is off the table and as wary and anxious as you feel you swallow it all back down with frustrated obedience. No matter how deep your worries and your doubts run your desire to please Van runs deeper.

"Don't talk like that, I want you here and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. It's just you and me, okay? You don't have to think about anything else just for one night."

That's easy for him to say. As you enter a room off the hallway you can't help but glance around, curious eyes flicking over the decor and the furnishings, searching for any sign of her. You quickly scour the dressing table and the bedside cabinets, the wardrobe with one door slightly ajar. There's no obviously feminine touch that you can see, no accessories, no framed photos, no cosmetics or items of clothing that don't appear to be his. If you didn't know any better you'd think he lived alone from what you've seen so far but you suppose you've only seen a limited part of the large house.

He steps over to the bed and stoops to lay you down on the soft sheets. Fuck... that feels good. You hadn't realised quite how exhausted you were. When he said he was going to wreck you he wasn't kidding. Everything burns, your muscles tight and sore, the stinging throb between your legs insistent as you curve your body inwards, feeling vulnerable as he hovers over you.

"That was really something huh?" He smirks down on you, eyes lingering over your curves, a hand reaching up to gently brush your hair back from your face. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been hit by a truck!" You can't help but grin and he laughs. "But in a totally good way," you add quickly. "I'm certainly not complaining about it. I loved it. I loved every minute of it."

He caresses your cheek, a thumb trailing over your lips, first the top then the bottom until you stop him, your lips parting to catch the very tip of his thumb, sucking gently. Half innocent, half seductive.

"You're one of a kind, that's for sure," he says softly, his voice almost unrecognisable from the harsh dominating tone that he'd used on you just moments ago downstairs. "I've never met anyone quite like you before."

"Ditto," you whisper against his thumb, smiling soft and alluring up at him.

He hesitates and you find that you're holding your breath, willing him to sink down on to the bed right there next to you and take you into his arms. You want him to tell you that you're all his again just like he did in the heat of the moment, but to your dismay his touch falls away as he straightens up.

"I'll be right back," he promises as he steps away, pausing as he crosses the room to look back at you with a playful grin. "Don't you go anywhere now."

"I won't."

You fix a smile that melts into a quiet sigh as you watch him turn to disappear into an adjoining room which appears to be an en-suite bathroom from the gleaming white tiles you glimpse as he flicks on the light. You know full well that you're torturing yourself by daring to believe that this softer side to him indicates that he might start developing feelings for you. You're nothing but an easy, filthy lay to him, an outlet for all the disgusting and depraved things that his fiancée's too good for. That thought might have thrilled you once and it still does, except now it's accompanied by an unwelcome acidic jealousy that eats away at your fanciful dreams like a bitter poison.

Stop thinking about her Y/N! You're here and she's not! Just try and enjoy the moment for god's sake.

You reach for the sheets to draw them over your naked frame but your fingers catch on another piece of fabric and you stretch it out to reveal a t-shirt emblazoned with the band name The Strokes. You smile to yourself... this man has great taste... and in a rush of boldness you're sitting up in bed and pulling the shirt on over your head.

He said he wanted you here didn't he? Well, you may as well make yourself at home.

You imagine lazy days spent lounging around his house wearing his clothing, cosying up on the sofa in one of his over-sized hoodies, seducing him when he comes home from work wearing nothing but one of his shirts...

"Oh... very cute... looks good on you."

Your head snaps up quickly at the sound of his voice, caught unawares by his unexpected praise. You grasp the hem of the shirt to stretch it down over your thighs, cheeks glowing, preening as he leans on the door frame to admire you.

"Cute?" You giggle quietly, your legs crossed in your lap as you sit up straight to give him a better view of the goods. "Is that even a word in your vocabulary? You've called me lots of things before but I never heard that one!"

He regards you for a moment with an amused kind of thoughtfulness before he's moving back towards the bed and perching on the edge next to you.

"You do realise that the things I say to you... the things I do to you when we're... together in that way... it's not a true reflection of how I really feel, don't you?"

Oh...

"Of course I do Sir."

It just slips out, the honorific term sounding misplaced now you're not down on your knees begging for a taste of his cock or bent over the nearest surface getting your ass spanked raw. It draws a genuine laugh from you both and you raise a hand up to cover your mouth.

"And I don't think I need to tell you that you don't need to call me that when we're not fucking!"

"It's just a habit, I can't help it," you grin. You love the way that he's looking at you right now, a fondness that could easily make you feel like you were the only girl in the world if you could just let yourself go.

And he keeps on looking, intently scanning your face as he raises up a hand and that's when you note he's holding a dampened wash-cloth which he presses lightly to your cheek, dabbing at your ruined make-up.

"I can do that," you tell him, the nurturing action exacerbating the shyness that's afflicting you in the most uncharacteristic way. "I'm sure half my make-up's already slid off my face anyway. I can't even imagine how bad I must look right now, I must look a right state."

You reach up for the cloth but he stops you. "I can assure you that's not true. Here... let me. I know you're quite capable but I wanna do it for you." He runs the cloth under your eyes, cleaning away the tracks of mascara that stain your skin, moving down to rub around your lips, working methodically and with a surprising gentleness that sets off flurries of a nervous kind of exhilaration inside you.

"You know, you really don't need to wear all this make-up. You're plenty pretty enough without it. Gorgeous in fact. Beautiful."

You simper, feeling strangely delicate and vulnerable with his attention on you the way that it is. The brashly confident sex-hungry woman who's always so self-assured seems to have temporarily gone into hiding.

Something's changed. You realise that you hadn't really contemplated how the night would play out, focussed mainly on the sex as you were, but this turn of events is unexpectedly refreshing and very welcome. One moment you're being fucked to within an inch of your life and the next you're being treated with all the softness and care of an intimate lover. It doesn't feel like just a casual hook-up anymore. Every moment you spend alone with Van you're sinking further and further into something that you know you'll struggle to pull yourself out of. You know it's dangerous but you can't bring yourself to heed the warning signs.

So you let him take care of you and clean away the mess that he's made, the smears of make-up and the drool and the sweat, the evidence of your sordid fuck. After he's finished with your face and neck he lays you back down on the bed and you don't resist, even when you feel self-conscious as he raises the hem of the shirt and starts to drag the cloth softly up your inner thighs. Everything still feels like a wet, sore mess and you flinch as he nudges your legs gently apart.

"Aww are you sore love? I'm very sorry."

His tone's soft and apologetic but you can distinctly hear the edge of playful mischief in it, you catch it twinkling in his eyes as you raise your head to address him with a smirk. "No you're not! You're not bloody sorry at all!"

"You got me!" He chuckles, an eyebrow raised up. "But I did warn you didn't I? And besides… I reckon you got exactly what you wanted... am I right?"

"Uh-huh..." your satisfied little smiles tells him all he needs to know and his voice drops low, a teasing tone that makes your belly flip.

"In fact I think maybe I went too easy on you... Next time you won't be so lucky!"

Next time...

You laugh, laying your head back down on the pillow whilst he carefully cleans up the sticky mess between your thighs, your hot bruised skin soothed by the coolness of the damp cloth. You wince as he does it but you love that you can feel where he's been, your tender flesh still smarting from his brutal handiwork. You're pretty sure you're going to feel him for days and that thought delights you.

"There ya go baby... all nice and clean and good as new. Perfect."

He scatters a few soft kisses around your navel and then over your hips and your thighs. You giggle at the ticklish sensation, a warm tingling buzz sparking which you try to hide the effects of by biting down on your lip to stem a gasp. You can fully imagine him being keen to go several more rounds on you with barely any encouragement and you're not sure your body can take it and besides, you're enjoying this softer version of him far too much to let it go just yet.

"Thank you... for taking care of me," you murmur.

The kisses continue as he drapes the t-shirt back over your thighs. He presses them to your belly and chest over the shirt and your jaw as he travels upwards until he reaches your neck. He burrows his face there, muttering so quietly against your skin that you're not sure if you mishear him when he speaks.

"I was just thinking earlier... remembering the first day I ever noticed you. It was my first day on campus."

This shocks you. "There's no way you can remember me from way back then. You arrived before the semester even started didn't you? I never had any classes with you for at least a month after that."

You're loathe for his lips to leave your neck but your intrigue is sparked by this revelation and you need to know more. He doesn't disappoint, breaking away and sliding his body next to yours on the bed, propping himself up on an elbow close enough so that your bodies are touching.

"Of course I remember you. You're a very memorable girl.” He pauses, his words melting your insides which are now teaming with butterflies. "Professor Stevens was showing me around and there you were, sprinting up the corridor ahead of us, not looking where you were going and colliding full-on face-first into some unsuspecting lad just as he rounded the corner." He chuckles at the memory. "Textbooks went flying, there was paperwork everywhere... and you just stood there with the biggest smirk on your face whilst this poor lad scrabbled around on his hands and knees picking up all your stuff! It was pretty obvious from your insincere apology that you had no intention of clearing up your own mess."

"I remember that!" You recall, laughing. "Well, he did offer and I was already running late for class..."

"For a change," he cuts in pointedly, more teasing than exasperated. "Became a bit of a theme from then on. I quickly realised that you seemed to think the usual rules didn't apply to you. You were late to the options day presentations too. That was the second time you caught my eye." He shifts on the bed, sinking down to get comfier, a hand snaking around your waist to gently rest there. "I distinctly remember you trying to sneak in without anyone noticing, except you were wearing the skimpiest little dress that ensured that the whole lecture room was paying more attention to you than the presentation Johnny was giving."

"Maybe you shouldn't have been looking Sir!"

This time it's not a mistake calling him that. His smile widens. That damn smile. You're sure it's going to be the end of you.

"You don't have to tell me that! Fucking hell, do you know how hard I tried to be professional? I tried to think of you as just another student but as soon as my module choices got finalised I scoured the list for your name, hoping to see you were in my class."

You can't stop grinning. Your cheeks are actually hurting you're smiling so much.

"Well seeing as we're confessing stuff I didn't just choose your module for the content," you admit, remembering how quickly Van's classes got oversubscribed.

You want to reach up and rest a hand on his hip, reciprocate his touch but you daren't. You feel like you're in a little dreamworld, a blissful bubble that might burst at any moment if you make the slightest wrong move...

"Do you ever take your studies seriously?" He says, and this time there's definitely a hint of exasperation even though he looks outwardly content. You're just about to answer, try and distract him with more flirtation but he sighs, sinking down to lie fully beside you, eyes fixed upwards as he begins to speak.

"There's always talk in the faculty about the individual students. The staff love to discuss the ones with a bright future, the ones who truly shine, but they also talk about the ones who think the sole point of going to university is to party. The ones who don't really want to be in lectures or don't show up at all. The time wasters."

Your heart sinks like a stone. This isn't going the way you envisaged. He should be pulling you closer in his arms right now, leaning in for a lingering kiss. Your bodies are still tightly pressed together but it feels like he's drifting away.

"You don't have to tell me which category I fall into," you say glumly. "I do try, it's just..."

You trail off. Just what? There's not a lot you can say to justify your poor attitude. He's described you perfectly.

"As soon as I told Professor Stevens you were in my class he assured me that you were destined to fail. He said it was a waste of good resources trying to teach a student like you who obviously didn't give a damn." His tone is serious now and you cringe inwardly, waiting for him to deliver the lecture you're sure he's gearing up to. "But I disagreed... emphatically."

Oh? This is more like it. You glance over to see he's studying the ceiling and you study him, the contours of his perfect profile.

"I've always liked to make up my own mind, see. I don't like to be led by others. I wanted to give you a chance." He tips his head to the side, your eyes meeting.

"And...?" You ask hesitantly, not sure whether you're off the hook or not when a small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.

"Well... day one of the semester you proved him right. Nothing says biblical hangover like turning up thirty minutes late to my very first lecture sporting shades indoors on the most overcast day of the year!”

A tiny giggle bursts forth even though you try to suppress it. You know you're a no-hoper but at least you do it in style. Van continues, his expression hard to read.

"But everyone deserves a second chance right? I know I'm a little strict but I don't like to write students off too quick... so I threw you a curveball. I asked you a tricky question that wasn't in the class notes. You'd have only known the answer if you'd done the wider reading that was recommended. You remember that?"

A blush instantly stains your cheeks. Of course you remember. You'd been checking out your hot new professor's arse at the time, admiring the way the tight denim clung to his hips. When you'd heard your name called out you'd practically jumped out of your seat. Most of your lecturers had long given up on inviting you to contribute to class discussions. They knew you well enough to surmise that it was a complete waste of time. You'd stuttered and spluttered, sitting bolt upright whilst you'd nervously asked Van to repeat the question, blurting out a wordy and meandering less-than-satisfactory response whilst he'd regarded you with those cool blue eyes of his, not giving anything away. He'd nodded with a curt "thank you Miss Y/L/N" when you'd finished, leaving you red-faced and unusually rattled afterwards, sinking back down into your chair like you could melt into it.

"You caught me off-guard. I wasn't really listening," you concede meekly, hating the way that you loathe to disappoint him, wondering if your university experience might have been a lot different if he'd been there right from your very first day.

"No shit," he laughs in a warm rush, shaking his head. "It was pretty obvious you weren't paying the slightest bit of attention..."

"That's not strictly true," you interject which earns you a frown which shuts you up pretty quick.

"I'm talking about the lecture content," he says dryly. "But you did give me a very interesting response... one I wasn't expecting."

You facepalm dramatically, embarrassed. "Oh great, it was even more shit than I can remember then. Way to make a good impression, huh?"

"Actually it was very insightful."

"What... really?"

Is he fucking with you? He looks sincere.

"Uh-huh," he nods. "I mean you didn't really answer my question, not fully anyway, and you completely went off on a tangent, but there was something there. I don't know what you'd call it... unpolished brilliance maybe..."

"Brilliance?" You echo, full of disbelief. "You're taking the piss now aren't you?"

You're expecting him to start laughing, the joke on you but he doesn't. He just looks at you with that warmth again, the hand resting on your waist moving up to cup your jaw. He tilts his body to press more firmly against yours.

"Believe me, I only give praise where praise is due. You might not have realised it but you impressed me that day, but it was more than just that. You intrigued me. I knew right there and then that I had to see more of you, find out all about you, get closer to you somehow. Even though I knew damn well it was a terrible idea and I should keep my distance I just couldn't help myself. I... umm... I might have pulled a few strings to ensure that you were on my personal tutees list."

He looks mildly embarrassed and you feel your eyes widen. All that time you were lusting after Van in secret before you propositioned him and he'd already set his sights on you. "You really did that... to get closer to me?"

"Yeah," he smiles. "Turns out you're a very hard girl to stay away from... and I gotta admit I didn't even try. You've not just got a beautiful body, you have a beautiful mind too…”

He shifts again where he lays, an arm reaching up over your head, his other hand patting his chest. "C'mon, lie right here, we can talk more in the morning. You must be tired. You should rest."

You don't need asking twice, scooting as close to him as you can, practically purring as you nestle into his chest. The warmth of him and the cool scent of his cologne and the steady thump of his heartbeat fills your senses. You feel a hand on your hair as he strokes it soothingly, a gentle kiss pressed to the top of your head as you hear him mutter quietly. "I like you Y/N... if you must know I really like you..." He lets out a soft sigh like an afterthought "...much more than I should."

This must be what heaven feels like. You close your eyes.

[transingthoseformers]

can we have some of your megop headcanons please?

So so ai soooo sosi

What i got

For tfp megop, i totally feel like pre-war Orion and Tronus were just. Total dorks with each other. Total dorks. Making corny unfunny jokes with each other, wanting to go see the stars together, buy each other drinks but somewhat forget about them while passionately talking... the sweet shit

Tfp megatron and Optimus are exes (usually), and Megatron is the bitter one who broke up with Orion first, he still loves Optimus of course.

G1 Megatron is a tsundere and refuses to admit he looooves Optimus

Earthspark Megatron still writes very emotional love poems about Optimus

Earthspark Optimus would look through a book labeled "best ways to flirt"

Beast wars megop to me seems like the most likely to stay in the "enemies with benefits" zone, but i see possible emotions regarding how they're a predacon and a maximal there

Idw Megatron still has embarrassing dreams about Optimus sometimes, ditto for idw Optimus

Biting biting biting biting biting biting biting biting biting bi

Sg megop is such a thing for me and i love the idea of Megatron looking at Optimus and saying "I can fix him" & sg Optimus concluding "i can be better than him"

So much physicality in their love language in most versions of megop. They've grappled so many times in battle they wouldn't quite know what to do without each other's touch

.... biting. So much gay biting.

These two are soulmates even when megop isn't involved. They always find each other, no matter what.

If we're working with tfa Megop, I'm very specific and highly prefer that it's Optimus who's bold enough to make the first move, it's Optimus who's job is to prove himself as a suitor. Which he does by besting Megatron and holding his own well.

I think so much about adrenaline fueled battle frags that aren't necessarily out of love but definitely lust and mutual agreement and getting the energy out

In general i prefer the dynamic with Optimus being more dominant and sub!Megs, but this isn't set in stone and i love the flex and flow of their dynamic (especially considering shattered glass because if everything is being flipped around why not that too?)

I love them so much it's insane. Closest thing i have to an otp.

Love them

[mentalisttraceur]

Speaking Hexadecimal

Fluently and Unambiguously

I previously proposed a way of saying hexadecimal numbers clearly and efficiently in English, but that was only good for situations where it was otherwise unambiguous that the numbers were in base-16, and it still had some room for getting "wires crossed" with base-10. Now I finally have a proposal I'm satisfied with to finish the job:

We first add distinct words for the six extra "digits":

A is alf, B is brav, C is char, D is delt, E is eck, and F is fost. These are based on the pronunciation of the first six NATO phonetic alphabet words: "alpha", "bravo", "charlie", "delta", "echo", and "foxtrot", except that: we simplify "foxt" to "fost" to make it easier to say, we change the spelling of "alph" to make it more accessible to people not familiar with English's "ph", and the spelling of "eck" makes it obvious that it's a K sound, not a CH sound.

Then we replace "-ty" with "-tex". "-tex" is meant to be evocative of "hex", but the "t" fits the pattern of English number words better:

So 20 in hexadecimal is twentex, not "twenty". 21 is twentex-one, 22 is twentex-two, and so on. 2A is twentex-alf, 2B is twentex-brav, and so on. 30 is thirtex, 31 is thirtex-one, [...], 3A is thirtex-alf, and so on. Fortex, fiftex, sixtex, seventex, eightex, ninetex, alftex, bravtex, chartex, deltex, ecktex, and fostex.

English has special words for 10-19, but we can just use the same regular pattern in hexadecimal for 10-1F as for 20-FF. So 10 is ontex. It's "ontex" and not "onetex" to match the speed and distinctiveness that we get with twenty, thirty, forty, and fifty having slightly different pronunciations and spellings versus two, three, four, and five. 11 is ontex-one, 12 is ontex-two, 13 is ontex-three, and so on.

100 is "hunhex". This continues the mnemonic pattern - English number word, with a hexadecimal-hinting ending. 101 is "one hunhex and one," or just "hunhex and one" for short, just like we say decimal hundreds. 201 is "two hunhex and one", 2D4 is "two hunhex and deltex-four", and so on, all the way up to FFF - "fost hunhex and fostex-fost".

Incidentally, the modern English quirk of saying a number like 2463 as "twenty-four (hundred), sixty-three" instead of "two-thousand, four-hundred, and sixty-three" works really well for hexadecimal numbers: for example, 1AD4 is often written as 1A D4, and can be read as "ontex-alf (hunhex), deltex-four".

In fact, unlike decimal, in hexadecimal it is far more natural and useful, especially given modern technology, to do groups of two. So we don't even bother with another irregular word like "thousand" - instead, we just go directly to using the same Latin prefixes that large numbers in English use (billion, trillion, quadrillion, and so on), for multiples of two more hex digits:

So 10000 is a bihex, 1000000 is a trihex, 100000000 is a quadrihex, 10000000000 is a quintihex, 1000000000000 is a sextihex, 100000000000000 is a septihex, 10000000000000000 is an octohex, and so on. Technical people will appreciate that we're basically counting bytes here, and that a hunhex is one larger than the maximum value in a 1-byte unsigned integer - ditto bihex for 2 bytes, quadrihex for 4 bytes, octohex for 8 bytes, and so on.

[efverse]

some other notes on ditto transforming ^.^

eon wishes she felt more comfortable in her own skin and using her ability to transform...that being said the one single thing hes asked her to not do is transform to look like him, at least in his vicinity...other than that she can turn into whatever she wants as far as hes concerned.

when her kids first evolved she would try transforming into their evolutions a bit on her own to get a better idea of what they felt like..

she doesnt need to shapeshift all the way to change certain things. for example if she wanted to kiss eon without getting fur all over her face she can adjust the texture of herself so its not sticky(took her a minute to figure that out)

depending on the form her voice will change a little bit?

dittos transforming into their opponent and using their own moves against them is just a single method of battling dittos can utilize. gabite/garchomp thought it would be a good idea for ditto to try different methods that rely on transforming more but she just told him "i dont battle enough for it to matter." and never tried it.

when shes transformed eon calls her by whatever form shes in like "eevee" bc he knows she prefers him to do that...

she chooses to transform in public even tho her family would tell her she doesnt have to and whatnot...she just doesnt want people to "think less of them" or anything if she can help it...

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1217: Best Pals Forever (Pokemon: Dogs in Love 2)

Crap Gorps: But....Because I knew youuu~

Jolteon: Because I knew youuuu~

Crap Gorps/Jolteon: Because I knew you~ I have been chaaaaaaaanged......For goooooooood~

Two best friends giggles softly as they lean over and Hugs one another.

Jolteon: I love you man~

Crap Gorps: Ditto- (Suddenly Felt Something Small and Wet Drop on him as He Looks Up and Sees) Hm? It's raining? But I thought it was supposed to be- (Eyes Widened at the Realization) Oh no. Uhh..... buddy?-

Jolteon: (Already Tearing Up) I love you so much, Crap Gooorrps!~

Crap Gorps: (Quickly and Gently Rubs Jolteon's Back in Comfort) I know, I know. I love you too, man. I'm.....pretty sure we already established that seconds ago-

Jolteon: Our friendship is so sacred to me!~ I don't want this all to end noooow!~

Crap Gorps: Wait. (Pulls Away For a Second) Is that what you've been worried about? Our friendship?

Jolteon: Coming to an ennnnnnnnd!~

The rain starts going down more harder than originally as the sound of thunder begins to emerge.

Crap Gorps: (Quickly Went Back to Rubbing his Pal's Back in Panic) Hey-Hey-Hey! It's okay! It's okay. Don't cry. Our friendship isn't going anywhere.

Jolteon: (Puts his Wailing on Hold and Stares at Crap Gorps with His Sad, Sparkling Eyes) Really? ('Sniff') Really? Are you sure?

Crap Gorps: (Gives Jolteon a Reassuring Smile) Positive, man. (Chuckles Lightly) Heck, if anything, this is the most positive I've been a very long while- (Stops Chuckling Once He Realizes He Said a (Very Weak) Swearing Word in Front his Now Pouting Friend) Uhh- ('Clear Throat') Sorry.

Jolteon: ('Sigh') It's fine. I'll allow it just this once, Crap Gorps. (Lightly Boops on Crap Gorps (Non Existent) Nose)

Crap Gorps: (Chuckles Ticklishly) Okay, great! But seriously though, even if we do go our seperate ways, which I can't stress enough, HIGHLY doubt that will ever happen anytime soon, our friendship won't automatically break apart along with it. We've been through so much together let it all go to waste now, am I right?

Jolteon: Yeah. ('Sniff') I don't want it all to go away....

Crap Gorps: (Gently Grabs Hold of Both Jolteon's Paws) And it won't. I promise. You, me, the rest of our team, we're all on this together, cheesy as it sounds.

Jolteon: (Giggles a Bit) I like cheesy stuff~

Crap Gorps: (Chuckles Lightly) I bet you do. You're sounding better already.

Jolteon: (Smiles a Bit) Yeah, I guess I am huh? I'm sorry I got a little emotional earlier.....

Crap Gorps: No worries, man. I get it. I'd probably be freaking outta too if I were in your....paws. You know you guys are the first real friends I've ever made, right?

Jolteon: ('Gasps') Really?~ What about your law office buddies?

Crap Gorps: (Shrugs) Eh. Our relationship is more professional if anything. I think I remember a few of them didn't like me all that much.

Jolteon: (Starts Pouting Again) I don't know why. You're the coolest guy I ever known, Crap Gorps!~

Crap Gorps: (Heart Begins to Melt in Genuine Happiness) Aww~ Thanks, man. I'm pretty sure you're objectively more cooler than I am though.

Jolteon: (Blushes a Bit While Flailing his Paw Down a Bit) Oh hush, you~ We can both be the coolest together! How's that sound?

Crap Gorps: (Grabs his Chin While Thinking) Hmm.....Cop out conclusion- (Shrugs) But sure, why not. Hey, you like SpongeBob right? (Points Back at the Pokemon HQ Lab Behind Him) Wanna watch all three of his movies back inside? I-I mean, only of you want to, of cour-

Jolteon: (Stares into his Best Friend's Eyes As His Begins to Sparkle) Grops, I LOVE SpongeBob, let's do it!~

Crap Gorps: (Stardled a Bit by Jolteon's Sudden Stare Vefore Returning Back to his Posture) Alright. Good to know. Let's go. (Walks Back to HQ with Jolteon By his Jolteon) Glad to see you're in high spirits again.

Jolteon: All thanks to you, buddy. You're a real life saver, you know that?

Crap Gorps: (Rubs the Back of his Head Back and Forth) I wouldn't exactly call myself that really. Considering all the times you helped cheer me up in journey together, I'd figure I try to return the favor for once, you know?

Jolteon: ('Sniff') And you succeed with flying lights and colors.....('Sniff') I'm so proud of you, buddy!~

'Thunder Roaring'

Crap Gorps: Uhhhh H-How about we save the crying after we watch the movie, yeah? We have the whole evening ahead of us, you know?

Jolteon: (Giggles Softly) Okay, I'll try to keep it together. (Lays his Head Onto his Best Friend's Shoulder) Only for you, Crap Gorps~

Crap Gorps: ('Sighs a Bit in Relief') Right. Thank you.

As the two pals made their way back to HQ the clouds in the sky finally begins to clear themselves out, revealing a bright sun shining down on the area in question.

As the journey concluded, it still turned to be a very beautiful day after all.

@jelloapocalypse