#watson how do you do this without going insane

[thekittyfox2999]

yes

correct

awesome

[marcyvamp1re-blog]

ৎ୭. . . SORORAL ─── Platonic! Harley Quinn

⊹ ٬  Headcanon. Harley showed up at your door after years, broken by the Joker, and you, with more patience than common sense, took care of her. At the end of the day, no matter the fights or crimes, you were two inseparable souls, always ending up on the couch, reminding each other that sisterly love heals all.

⊹ ٬  Word Count. 2.14k

⊹ ٬  Content. MDNI. Violence, Blood, fights, drugs, toxic relationships, mental health, criminal behavior, past traumas, normalization of the self-destructive component.

「 (Adj.) Like a sister 」

You met Harley in college. The first time you talked was because you shared the same team project… and also a hatred for the same professor. It was all downhill from there. For everyone else, that is. You were at your best.

You were the Watson to her Sherlock, the Robin to her Batman, the salt on the edge of her daisy. Harley talked and you nodded, but not because you were quiet, but because no one had the energy to keep up. You tried to interrupt her once and ended up going on a two-hour monologue about why bats are adorable, all without taking a breath.

You were there for everything. Her first cry over a boyfriend who wasn’t worth it (and whose social media you hacked with brotherly love). Her yelling in the cafeteria about how her parents were the worst dynamic duo ever. Her fights with other students, where you just picked up her stuff and said, “You’re still alive, right? So let’s go.”

You were inseparable. You were her rock and she was your... earthquake. An explosive friendship, literally at one point. But then he came along. The guy with the green hair.

You heard about it on the news. "The Clown Prince of Crime Has a New Partner." At first you didn't believe it. Harley wasn't that kind of girl. But when you saw her picture with her makeup smeared and that crooked smile, you knew. Your Harley was there, buried under tons of chaos.

That day, at the medical center where you worked, you broke a cup. Not because you were being dramatic, but because it was the only way to make the pain feel real.

And then you understood: Harley wasn't anyone's Watson. She was always her own Sherlock, and now she was solving a case that was tearing her apart.

The reunion was a coincidence. Well, coincidence for her. You were leaving work, a long and boring shift, when the sound of a loud laugh made your blood run cold. You saw her leaning against your car, wearing a red leather jacket, torn tights, and a baseball bat that she was spinning between her fingers as if she was deciding whether to use it on you or not.

“Friend!” she shouted, as if it hadn’t been years since you last spoke and as if she wasn’t on the country’s most wanted list.

You didn’t know what to say. Harley threw herself at you before you could react, the smell of gunpowder and something sweet permeating the air. It was as if nothing had changed… but everything had changed.

You tried to pretend it was like before. You chatted for a while, forcing a smile while she talked non-stop, as always. She told you how she had “deconstructed” a bank last week, how Joker had said something “so romantic” that she almost cried, and how Commissioner Gordon “needed to relax, because, hey, a little dynamite never killed anyone… well, not many people.”

The Harley you knew was still there, but she was buried under layers of insane laughter and chaos. Her world was no longer yours.

“Why so quiet?” she asked at last, tilting her head like a curious child.

“Harls… I can’t do this.”

The silence that followed was strange. She looked at you as if you had spoken in another language.

“Oh… that’s why, isn’t it? …Because I’m a “criminal” now.”

You didn’t answer. You didn’t have to.

She smiled, but not in the way you remembered. This smile was broken, crooked, as if she was trying to convince herself that she didn’t care.

—It’s okay, you know. I don’t need everyone to understand me. I have Mr. J. And he understands me better than anyone.

That hurt more than you wanted to admit. But not more than watching her turn around, the bat resting on her shoulder as she walked away, humming a song you didn’t recognize.

Harley didn’t look back again. Not because she didn’t care about you, but because she didn’t have room in her mind for you anymore. She had filled every corner with it, and you knew there was no way to compete with that.

And you, as much as it hurt, didn’t look back either.

Years had passed. A monotonous routine was your life. The medical center, the long hours, the patients who needed an ear more than a prescription. It didn't bother you, not at all. Listening was something you were always good at, and the idea of ​​a partner seemed far away. Between double shifts and sleepless nights, where was there room for romance?

It was a night like any other. Your apartment was silent, except for the sound of the rain hitting the window. You had left a forgotten tea on the table and were about to pick it up when you heard a knock on the door. Not a polite knock, but something desperate, insistent.

When you opened it, you saw her. Soaked, shaking, her makeup running from tears mixed with the rain. Harley. Your Harley.

"He left me," was the first thing she said, her voice broken and trembling.

You didn't know what to do at first. It was like time had gone backwards, but this time you weren’t in college and it wasn’t a fight with some campus jerk. Everything was darker now, more broken. Without saying anything, you let her in.

She plopped down on your couch, clutching a pillow like it was a lifeline. Between sobs and curses, she ranted about Joker. How he’d used her, how he’d betrayed her, how this time it was final.

“I don’t know why I’m here,” she suddenly muttered, looking at you with swollen eyes. “It’s stupid, isn’t it? After everything that happened between us…”

You stayed silent for a moment. You knew she was right. Harley had disappeared from your life without looking back, but now she was there, broken, seeking comfort from the only person who ever truly understood her.

“I didn’t think of anyone else,” she whispered, hugging the pillow tighter. “Because… because you’re my sister, you know?” The one person who was always there, even...when I didn't deserve it.

That was enough to make something inside you melt. You sat next to her, gave her a blanket, and let her talk. Because that was your specialty: listening.

Harley talked until she was speechless. Until her voice faded away and only the sound of the rain remained. You offered no advice or judgment, just your presence. Because you knew that, as much as it hurt, she needed you now more than ever. And, even though time had separated you, there was one thing that had never changed: she was still your Harley. And you, as strange as it seemed, were still her sister.

Harley didn't leave after that night. At first, it was like having a permanent storm in the apartment. One day she'd come home drunk, staggering around and singing off-key songs about what was (or wasn't) worth it in life. Another day she'd show up with a black eye and a cut eyebrow, muttering under her breath that "being the clown's ex isn't exactly a queen's title."

You couldn't say you were surprised. Harley was always a controlled mess… until she wasn't. What you didn't expect was how much that mess would absorb you. You became her nurse, her therapist, her babysitter, and, on the worst days, her bodyguard.

"Why do you put up with me?" she asked you one night, half drunk, with an ice pack in her hand and a split lip that you'd cleaned yourself.

"I don't know, Harls. Maybe because I'm dumb. But someone has to take care of you."

She laughed, that cracked laugh that always made something inside you clench.

You couldn't help but be upset. Because, come on, Harley had gotten herself into this mess. She'd decided to dive headfirst into a world of chaos and crime, knowing full well there was no net to catch her. But it wasn't hate you felt, or even resentment. It was frustration. Harley had always been a big girl, someone who saw the world as an amusement park, ignoring the warnings to "stay off the grass" and "be careful, wet floor."

Sometimes you wanted to yell at her. You wanted her to understand that you couldn't rebuild her every time the world broke her into pieces. But then you remembered who she was. Harley had never needed someone to yell at her. What she needed was someone to show her the mirror, to remind her that beneath all that paint and mess she was still her.

So you took care of her. You cleaned her wounds, you put up with her cries and her unhinged laughter. Because even though it wasn't fair, you knew Harley was learning. Maybe not fast, and maybe in the worst way, but at least she was learning. And if that meant being her anchor in the middle of the storm, then you were willing to hold on a little longer.

One day, everything changed. It wasn’t a dramatic moment, or a revelatory speech. It just happened. You woke up one morning to find Harley in the kitchen, her hair in two uneven pigtails, humming a song as she made pancakes that smelled like they were burning.

“Morning, Doc!” she greeted you like they were in a 1950s sitcom.

It took you a few minutes to realize what was different: she was smiling. Not the broken, I’m-going-to-do-something-illegal-in-less-than-five-minutes smile, but a genuine smile. Harley was Harley again.

Sure, she was still a criminal. She wasn’t going to change overnight, and you didn’t expect her to, either. But now she was a criminal with… what did she call it?

“Scruples!” she said, holding up a half-charred pancake like it was a trophy. “No more punching the bird boy in the face. No more blowing up police stations!” Well, maybe one, but only if it's empty.

You found it hard to believe, but you saw it. Harley was different. She was still chaos, but a contained one. And even though she didn't tell you, you knew some of that change had to do with you.

Then the invitations came.

"Come on, doc! You need to get out of this hole," she'd say, tugging on your arm with the same energy as a tornado. "I'm going to introduce you to the girls."

"Ivy" and "Selina" turned out to be Ivy the Poison Ivy and Selina Kyle, Gotham's famous thief. You spent a surreal night in their company, sitting in a speakeasy where laughter was more dangerous than guns. Selina taught you how to pick a lock with a paper clip, Ivy talked to you about the importance of caring for plants, and Harley was still acting like you were the guest star on her own variety show.

But the height of absurdity came when Harley showed up one Friday night and announced,

“Black Canary is coming to party with us! You know how many people can say that? Nobody, because we’re exclusive.”

The night was legendary. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d laughed so hard or danced with such little sense of the ridiculous. Between Harley trying to do karaoke in a bar where no one had asked for karaoke and Dinah watching her next to you in amusement, you almost forgot that you were with a group of women capable of knocking down a building if they put their minds to it.

Harley looked at you at the end of the night, with a knowing smile.

“See? I told you you were one of us, doc. You can’t escape.”

And deep down, you knew she was right. Harley was still Harley: chaotic, unpredictable, impossible to ignore. But now, she was also someone who was trying to be better, in her own way. And you, without realizing it, had gone from being his anchor to being part of his storm... and it wasn't so bad.

The invitations never stopped. Harley was determined to drag you into every corner of her new life, and she wouldn’t take no for an answer. It was like she was making up for the years she’d missed with you.

Roller Derby was one of the first things she forced you to witness.

“Doc, you have to come. I’m a legend on wheels!” she told you one day as she pulled out a t-shirt with her number printed on the back.

And she wasn’t lying. Harley was a storm on the track, charging at her opponents with a mix of skill and sheer madness. From the stands, you found yourself yelling things like “Don’t break that poor girl’s jaw!” and “That’s got to be a foul, Harley!” But she only responded with laughter, making a victory gesture as a rival player tried to regain her dignity after falling on her back.

“What did you think?” she asked you at the end, with a swollen eye and a half-dented helmet.

“I’ll tell you when my nerves are back on track.”

Burrito mornings became a tradition.

One day she showed up at your door at six in the morning, a greasy bag in one hand and two coffees in the other.

“Burritos and eggs, doc! The best hangovers are cured with food for champions.”

That became a recurring thing. Every week, Harley would wake you up early with the excuse that burritos “taste better at dawn.” You never had the heart to turn her down, though sometimes you silently cursed her when the caffeine wasn’t enough to keep you functional.

Other times, she’d take you on her “normal adventures.”

Like the time she decided you both needed a “spa day.” Her definition of a spa included going to a speakeasy with Ivy and Selina, playing poker with handmade cards, and ending up with nails painted impossible colors.

“Are you relaxing or not?” —Harley asked you while trying to dry your hair with a hairdryer she had clearly stolen from some hotel.

—I don’t know if “relaxed” is the right word…

And then there was her obsession with movies.

One random Tuesday, she burst into your living room with a stack of DVDs.

—Bad movie marathon. Time to educate yourself, doc!

You spent the night watching B-movies while Harley laughed more at your sarcastic comments than at the absurd dialogues in the movies.

—You’re a terrible critic, but I love you anyway —she said while throwing popcorn in your face.

But, of course, Harley wouldn’t be Harley without her chaotic touches.

One day she took you to a costume store because they “needed outfits for friends.” You came out dressed as a pirate clown, while she wore a unicorn costume. They passed through an ice cream shop, a park, and of course, a karaoke bar where she forced the entire bar to sing along to "I Will Survive."

It was exhausting, unpredictable, and honestly, the best few weeks you'd had in years. Because even though Harley was still a whirlwind of madness, there was something different about her. She was more herself. A criminal with a heart, a loyal friend, and someone who, after all this time, finally seemed happy.

And you, even though you never would have imagined it, were happy too.

Always, no matter how chaotic or exhausting the day had been, it all ended the same: the two of you lying on the couch in your apartment, too tired to continue talking but too comfortable to move.

Harley always took the larger end, curled up in a blanket she had declared hers. You settled on the other end, legs dangling because Harley managed to take up more space than she physically could.

At first you tried to watch something on TV, but Harley always ended up changing the channel every five minutes, claiming that “everything is boring.” So, in the end, you just stayed silent, enjoying each other’s company.

That night was no different. Harley was half asleep, her head resting on the arm of the couch and her eyes half-closed. She looked at you, somewhat sleepy, but with that mischievous spark that never seemed to completely go out.

“You know something, doc?” she murmured, her voice barely audible.

“What’s wrong, Harls?”

She paused, as if she was gathering the courage to say it, even though you knew Harley rarely had filters.

“I love you.”

Your heart skipped a beat. It wasn’t the first time Harley had said it, but this time it sounded different. Softer. More sincere.

“I love you too, Harls.”

She smiled, small and genuine, and closed her eyes.

“In the end, we are sisters, aren’t we? We always were. Even if we don’t have the same last name.”

“We always were,” you confirmed, settling into the couch, letting the calm of that moment envelop you.

And so they stayed, Harley breathing calmly beside you, and you wondering how something so chaotic had ended up being the most stable and comforting thing in your life. Because in the end, no matter what happened outside, how much trouble they got into, or how many egg burritos they shared, you would always be her sister, and Harley would always be your Harley.

[thenightshadowqueen]

Death for a Dollar watchthrough thoughts

Holy shit, this was unhinged. I loved it so much. (That’s too many italics, but I don’t care.) I’m kind of speechless; the number of times I actually covered my mouth in shock (usually because of Sam, but Tom was insane in this one, too) was staggering. I adore this play.

Anyway, I’m going to get into my actual thoughts instead of just rambling.

Just to start, ‘Death for a Dollar’ is a great title, so kudos to whoever came up with that

Oh my god, Hank and Gareth 2.0!!!!

“You don’t know what he did for this place.” “That—Tell me!” This is off to a strong start

“Where was your showmanship?” I love it when they work mini games of Change into the plays

Mr. Twilliger is an incredible name

“This is me being the bartender, getting the stories out of the customers, so they reveal things, and then they want to drink more because they’re reliving their trauma.” I mean, it’s a valid tactic to get more money; yay, capitalism! (sarcasm)

AJ forcing Tom to be musical… Caesar and Juliet, anyone?

I love that Luke knows off the top of his head how many keys a piano has (I’m honestly not surprised)

Is Sam’s hair a little longer than normal? Because it looks really good

“I got three keys, three teeth, three toes. I’ve been through a lot.” I love Tony the piano player (who was also referred to as Bill once)

“My mind can take an awful lot; there’s not a lot in there” I love him, actually

“You ain’t trying to seduce him!” “But I get bigger tips when I do!” Sam

Can I just thank whoever edited this for giving us that little shot of Tom laughing? Because I love it when we get to see him actually laugh.

I love Mrs. Prostitute (and I love Tom for including positive representation of sex work)

“This is what feminism looks like” West End Big Boys flashbacks

“My mum is crazy” SAM

Also I think my favourite thing about the microphones is that we can hear them laughing so much more clearly (brought to you by Luke, on this occasion)

I adore Sam’s weird little harmonica thing he does in western-genre pieces

Ooh, younger versions of characters being played by different actors; I don’t think we’ve seen that before

I love Sam being confused and Tom’s response being to start clapping

I love Sam being annoyed and retaliating at AJ with a bald joke

“I told my daddy that I was real fast with a pistol, and that maybe I could go and work in law enforcement, but he wouldn’t have it.” “No! No son is going to go work for the government!” AJ trying to paint his father as the villain and Sam trying his very best to make the audience like him… This is gorgeous

“Telling a man if he’s allowed to own people or not” okay, never mind, I take that back

I don’t know why Sam picked the Watson-clown voice, but I’m glad he did (also I love that the voice made Luke break)

“Many Fingers Pussy” Jesus Christ, Tom

“They thought I had the devil in me” god damn it, now I feel bad for Bill

Sam is so good at playing wide-eyed innocent characters

“God, I wish they had that law in America in the modern day” I wish I had enough faith in people’s judgement to wish that

“I didn’t know you could do magic” I love it when Sam causes trouble

I can never see a reference to a one-man band like that and not think of Mary Poppins

“I can’t wait to hear those four white boys do those accents” oh dear

Luke speaking Spanish!!!

You know what, that vaguely Mexican accent could have been a hell of a lot worse, so well done, Sam

“So you can work on a farm, or you can jerk people off” oh my god, Sam

“He offered me a job” and then AJ realising what it sounded like and walking it way back

Tom entering the scene and waiting for a moment to join in and then Sam just throwing him in without warning is amazing

“I work here jerking people off” Tom

“She said she helps people el secrete-o” SAM

“Hand stuff Jesus is okay with” Sam

I don’t know why the fact that Tom knows little bits of Spanish brings me so much joy, but it does

Holy shit, Luke speaking Spanish with an American accent might be my new favourite thing

I love Maria, the bank robber/prostitute

You know what, I get Bill; the little, slightly mosquitoy “yeah”s are alluring

Half-kiss!!!

“A beautiful flower turns to a crooked leaf” I fucking adore AJ’s weird little sayings

“It’s a well-known expression” and then the advert with the merch saying ‘more well-known expressions’

“Something went worse than wrong. It went really wrong.” Gorgeous.

Sam’s slip oh my god

I know I already said Sam’s hair looks good, but Sam’s hair looks really good

I already said it but I will never be over Luke’s Spanish-in-an-American-accent. Never.

“I’ll keep my hands moist for you” it seems like Tom like using the word moist (the moisturiser fairy comes to mind)

I love audience participation

I’m sorry, as someone who struggles with mental math, that quick multiplication from Luke was impressive

“Got a lot of spunk in you, have you?” I love Tom using his English degree to make dirty jokes (obviously this doesn’t require an English degree; I just mean that it’s a wordplay joke)

I love Sam making sure to bring the story full-circle, with Tony losing his teeth and toes

Jesus, Tom

“Have we invented the electric chair yet?” I looked it up, and it looks like it was invented in the 1880’s, so not quite, but it wasn’t nearly so far off as I thought it might be

“I’ma travelling electric chair salesman” … honestly, I’m not even surprised at this point

Tom is right; this is really dark

I don’t think Sam knows how electric chairs work (affectionate)

Okay who the fuck let Sam wink like that

“Well, I guess that’s the end of the Shoot from the Hip show” I love when they get meta

“What could go wrong with giving a southern American teenager a pair of guns? I’ve got school tomorrow!” Holy fucking shit; may I present Sam Russell, the king of risky jokes

“…when we faked my death…” I love Tom so much

“I think this is the first time we’ve used the principle of the unreliable narrator” I actually love this so much; this is such a cool concept, especially for an improv show

Tom is unhinged in this one and I love it

I love this so much

I already made as post saying this, but it bears repeating: this is BUS levels of insane

[pinksugarscrub]

Starstruck

Hobie Brown x fem! musician! reader

Recap: Yuri’s too busy when you come back to scold you. So the rest of your shift goes smoothly. Your mind drifting to the boy every once in a while. A small smile on your lips. The phone rings and your bliss is broken. You hold your breath as insult after insult hits your ear through the receiver. You feel like an idiot. The boy’s pretty face fading into obscurity. You blink back tears as you talk with the real Miguel O'Hara. What a shitty night.

Part(s): Prologue, 1, ???

Word Count: 2,013

~

Gwendolyn Stacy, your best friend since middle school and you have a dinky friendship bracelet to prove it. You told her everything and I mean everything but for some odd reason you felt too ashamed to even mention what’s his face. So instead you turned to the only other person you shared your life with and that was Mary Jane Watson, better known as MJ. 

“Motherf-”

“Language,” you sigh. Stuffing another spoonful of ice cream into your mouth. Your eyes following Mary Jane as she shuffles across the room. Two different shades of purple fabric in her perfectly manicured fingers.

“Sorry,” she grumbles. Rolling her eyes as she bites her tongue. It was pretty irritating how calm you were being after spilling your guts out to her earlier. There are even still tear stains on your cheeks. “But aren’t you mad? I mean come on (y/n), that was pretty messed up.”

“I never said I wasn’t mad,” you mumble. Sticking your spoon back into the tub when you notice Spider-man strutting up to you. His striped tail brushing against your ankle as he waited patiently for you to lift him up. 

The tabby purrs as soon as you place him into your lap. Gently scratching his chin to distract yourself from MJ’s stare. The anger swirling behind her eyes diminishes when she realizes how deeply this has affected you. “So, what do you feel?”

Your face scrunches up as you try to come up with a proper answer. Anything that makes you seem like less of a crybaby. “I don’t know…I just…” you sigh again,“I just feel really stupid.”

“But it wasn’t your fault,” she retorts.

“It was my fault MJ!” Your voice wavering as you lean back into the soft and plush pillows of her bed. Holding Spider-man closer to your chest and burying your nose into his fur. Effectively muffling your words. “I let some dumb guy distract me and Yuri had to pay for my mistake…”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” MJ huffs. Placing her hands on her hips as she eyes you. “Yuri? You know she can handle anything anyone throws at her. She’s practically a soldier.”

“I know, I know,” you whine. “He just- he played me ok!?” Sniffling as you held Spider-man above you. “Right?”

Spider-man blinks. 

“See? Even he agrees!”

MJ rolls her eyes again. You seem to bring it out in her. “Ok fine, you’re an idiot and you deserved what you got.”

You gasp, cradling spider-man to your chest. “Mary Jane Watson!”

She quirks her eyebrows up while shrugging her shoulders. Going back to sifting through her dresser for pearl beads and tiny sequins. “What is it about this guy that has you so twisted? I mean, this isn’t the first time you’ve fumbled a guy.”

“Thank you very much for that,” you deadpanned. “This greatly improves my already low self esteem and twisted? What is this 1984?”

It’s MJ’s turn to be appalled as she tosses a pillow over your head. “Will you shut up about that! I’m only a few years older than you.” She huffs as she smacks another pillow over your head after you pull the previous one away from your face. 

“What was that senior citizen? I can’t hear you over the deafening sound of my self loathing.”

She groans as she smacks you once more. “Stop avoiding me and answer my question already.” 

You sigh as you sink down onto the floor. Dramatically of course. Your daily visits wouldn’t be complete without a dose of insanity. 

It takes you a few moments to collect yourself and finally decide to say what’s been on your mind. Your fingers digging into your palms. “Do you remember the story of how my parents met?”

MJ hums, taking a seat beside you but not without carefully adjusting her skirt. Sitting elegantly as she brushed her hand through your hair which cause Spider-Man to get jealous and saunter over again. “Of course. He saw her from across the room at a venue he was performing at. They instantly felt a connection and he spent weeks trying to find her after only knowing her name.”

You follow along with her explanation. Mouthing word for word considering you had memorized your parent’s love story by heart. 

“So this has something to do with you being a hopeless romantic?”

“Do you want me to tell you or not?” You snap. MJ puts her hands up in mock surrender.

You sigh again as you stare up at the ceiling. “My mom told me it was his smile that caught her. I never really understood why until…” You cough and clear your throat as you close your eyes. Cringing as you felt your cheeks heat up. “He had a nice smile.”

MJ’s eyes soften. “I see…” 

“I just…” You rub your hands over your face. Sprawling out like a starfish or in this case, a puddle. “I kind of let the idea of the same thing happening to me get to my head. It was different.”

Groaning, you decide to change the subject. Not sure how much more humiliation you could take after admitting to your delusions.

It was hard not to want what your parents had. They were happy, content living in their two bedroom apartment singing songs in the morning and dancing in the evening. Aside from music, you wanted someone special in your life and after letting go of Miles in the name of friendship you were starting to lose hope. Oh, you weren’t supposed to mention that.

“Anyway, any last minute advice? School starts in less than a week,” you sing. Smiling weakly as you lightly punched her shoulder. 

It took everything within MJ not to scold you for avoiding your feelings. She knew first hand what it was like to bottle everything up. She couldn’t understand why you felt the need to do so. You didn’t live with an abusive father who didn’t support your dreams. Your family was ecstatic to send you to Visions, help you achieve your goals. But the more family dinners she was invited to the more she saw what was brewing beneath the surface. She just hoped you would see it sooner rather than later. 

For once, she indulged you and moved along. Sliding down so she was also on her back staring at the same dirty ceiling she gazed at late into the night wondering if she was doing the right thing. Every time you remind her she is.

“It’s not illegal if you don't get caught.”

You choke on your spit. Laughing as you looked over at her in disbelief. “You are a horrible influence.” 

MJ laughs along with you before wrapping her arm around your shoulder and holding you close. “You’re only seventeen once,” she whispers, “enjoy it.” 

There’s a moment of silence as you take in her words. Her face was one you had grown to love. Maybe because you felt like you lost your other best friend in the process of trying to be a good one. Either way, you wouldn’t trade her for the world.

“Noted.”

Your phone buzzes on MJ's bed and within minutes you’re emotionally sober again and heading home for dinner. "You coming?"

"What? And miss movie night?" MJ smiles. Grabbing her jacket and her keys.

Movie nights were spectacular. You would savor the last few days of summer vacation because soon enough you would resume your normal routine as a high school student. Forgetting all about the cute boy with dimples. You guarantee it.

-

Midtown lockers consisted of stickers, graffiti, or lack of creativity. Yours was situated right next to Gwen’s. She dropped the -dolyn of her name after meeting Miles who coined the nickname. Speaking of which, Miles had been infatuated with her since freshman year. Well, your freshman year. He was still in middle school when the universe aka Mr. Harrington who was in charge of the academic decathlon, recruited them. You were excluded per lack of…how do you say? “Intelligence”. Public speaking wasn’t your strong suit.

You became their middle man because they were both hopeless and idiots. 

Ignoring the pain that eventually dulled into an ache. You walked with them, talked with them, and even traded seats with them so they could partner on assignments. Your group grew with the addition of Pavitir sophomore year. Gayatri the next. Which totally didn't make you feel more alone. 

The plan was to meet with everyone before the first bell rang but everyone seemed to be struggling with one thing or another. So for now you were left wandering the halls. Maybe you should learn a new hobby, join a new club? Club Rush wouldn’t be for another month though. 

Were you being ungrateful? Dissatisfied with what you had even though you had everything? Well, minus a boyfriend but that’s not necessarily a need. 

In the end you head to your first class early. Choosing a seat in the back you’re sure Miles will love so he can draw up tags. You and Miles share a statistics class this semester. You chalk it up to him being a genius who doesn’t even have to try too hard to pass. Lucky. 

The class slowly fills and at this point you’re just staring blankly at your desk and worry begins to gnaw at you the closer you get to the bell ringing. Miles is unsurprisingly absent but being late on the first day is a stretch, even for him. You know Mr. Davis and Mrs. Morales wouldn’t have it. 

A loud ring sets your stomach in knots but right as it starts the door swings open and oh no—

You’ve got to be kidding me

Your eyes meet and you want the world to swallow you whole. Out of all of the schools in the State of New York. There is no way he could be here. His address, what was his address? It was almost two districts away right? Right!?

Fuck

Your heart jumps when you come back to reality. He’s walking towards you, toward the only empty seat in the classroom aside from the one right by the door. Out of all the times Miles was late you’ve never wanted to scream at him more but at this point you just want him to be seated next to you. By falling from the ceiling or barreling through the window you don’t care! You would even settle for sitting next to Flash Thompson. The Flash Thompson.

You wouldn't survive an entire school year—your senior year—sitting next to a boy who obviously knows how charming he is and almost had you fired to get his kicks! Who does that? For pizza of all things!?

You pray by some miracle an earthquake hits but instead, you’re answered by the squeak of leather that you would recognize anywhere. You want to cry tears of joy at the sight of the red jordans entering the door followed by a sheepish looking Morales. 

“Mr. Morales, late on the first day.” 

Miles chuckles at the exasperated sigh that leaves your teacher’s lips. Rubbing the back of his neck before he shrugs off his bag. Easily setting it down on the desk beside you after turning in a familiar pink slip of paper that brands you as a troublesome student.

“Einstein said time was relative right?” He smiles but you can see the sweat dripping down his forehead. “Maybe I’m not late, maybe you guys are early.”

You would laugh if it weren’t for the fact you can’t tear your eyes away from the boy from before. He seems to feel the same sentiment except he doesn't look like he's on the verge of a panic attack. He quite easily takes a stride in the other direction. Sitting with an already disinterested look on his expression.

As soon as Miles is done being put under the spotlight you tug him down and his stool makes a loud screech that you opt to ignore and thankfully so does everyone else.

You're S-C-R-E-W-E-D. Screwed.

-

taglist:

@tired-robo-mask , @missshelleyduvall

Beta reader:

@hyperfix-wip

[badgalsasuke]

So Kishimoto has talked about how he referenced Raimi's Spider-man movies in the Naruto manga and we all realized he was talking about the iconic upside down kiss that inspired the panel of Sasuke looking at Naruto under the rain

If you've read Naruto and watched Raimi's Spider-man trilogy then you would not be surprised that Kishimoto likes PeterMJ, after all Raimi used several romantic tropes that Kishimoto also likes and implemented in his own work.

So I've decided to make this post drawing the similarities between both couples.

Both relationships are the core of their respective stories. Kishimoto states that without Sasuke there is no Naruto, and the story would be over in ten chapters. In Raimi's Spider-man, the first thing Peter Parker tells us is that his story revolves around a girl, Mary Jane Watson.

2. Compassion for the outcast: Both Naruto and Peter Parker start their series as outcast losers who are made fun of by their peers and subjected to their cruelty. Mary Jane is the first person we see show compassion towards Peter with no ulterior motive; she demands for the bus to stop after Peter had been chasing them for blocks begging them to stop. Similarly, Sasuke is also the first person (as in a peer, not a father figure) in the manga to show compassion to Naruto; their team had been ordered to not share food with Naruto after he broke some rules of a test, otherwise they'd be all failed and their careers as ninjas would end. Sasuke didn't care about this and still fed him anyway after seeing how hungry he was.

3. Both MJ and Sasuke are Peter and Naruto's driving forces. In the spider-man movie when Aunt May is at the hospital, Peter and MJ share a very heartfelt conversation where Peter says the following:

The great thing about Mj is… when you look in her eyes and she’s looking back in yours everything feels not quite normal because you feel stronger and weaker at the same time, you feel excited and at the same time terrified. The truth is you don’t know what you feel except you know what kind of man you wanna be, is if you’ve reached the unreachable and you weren’t ready for it.

In Naruto ch. 319 we see Naruto training a new technique but failing during the day. Then, at night he sees a shooting star, takes his hand to his heart and thinks about Sasuke, that's when he decides to get up and continue training all night, the next day he's finally been succesful in his new technique and Kakashi acknowledges his driving force is Sasuke. Sasuke inspires and moves Naruto to become the ninja he wants to be.

Other examples of MJ and Sasuke being the driving forces of the MC are in Spider-man 2 Peter loses his powers when he thinks Mary Jane no longer loves him and wants nothing to do with him, but after she asks him to meet him in a café and confesses she wants to kiss him because she believes she still loves him, he regains his powers immediately and is able to detect with his re-gained spidersense Doc Ock has just thrown a car at them.

And in Naruto's ch. 647-648 we see a defeated and exhausted Naruto losing hope on winning the war they're fighting, then Sasuke jumps in and without needing to give a grand speech and simply saying "That's all you got? I'm just getting started" is able to move Naruto and encourage him to keep fighting to the point when Naruto shares his chakra with everybody else they all see his thoughts and sense his feelings on how important Sasuke is for him.

Hehe Naruto is crazy for Sasuke. This is such an insane thing to do lmfao.

4. Going berserk for their loved ones. In the first Spider-man movie Peter is being defeated by the Green Goblin and he tells Peter: "Had you not been so selfish, you're little girlfriend's death would've been quick and painless but now that you've really pissed me off I'm gonna finish her nice and slow. MJ and I... we're gonna have a hell of a time". After this, Peter Parker became furious and almost beat the Green Goblin to death. Then, in Spider-man 2, Doc Ock attacks Peter and MJ then tells Peter to find Spider-man otherwise he'll peel the flesh off MJ's bones, Peter Parker who had lost his powers, once again becomes furious.

In Naruto's case, in ch. 27 we see how Haku almost kills Sasuke but Naruto believed he had managed to kill him so for the first time in his life, he unleashes the Kyuubi powers and almost kills Haku. Then again, in ch. 291 Naruto unleashes 4 tails of the kyuubi after Orochimaru calls Sasuke "My Sasuke-kun".

5. Miscommunication between the main character and their loved one. Throughout the Spider-Man trilogy we see Peter and MJ struggle to communicate with each other. Peter in particular, is unable to tell Mary Jane he loves her because he's also Spider-man and he believes that'd put her in danger, but he never explains to MJ the situation so she's left not knowing if Peter loves her for certain or not and she also doesn't understand all this back and forth he puts her through.

Kishimoto is a sucker for the miscommunication trope, he loves that shit and in his manga that's basically what's moving the plot forward. Throughout the entire manga Naruto is discovering what his true feelings for Sasuke are but he's never truly clear whenever he tries to explain them to Sasuke, hence why the latter is constantly asking Naruto why is he doing everything he does for him, basically going "what are we?" lol

[leosficlist]

Johnlock Fluff List 5

Fluff 1, Fluff 2, Fluff 3, Fluff 4

Collections of Clues by ianavi

There was no sleeping that night. And not due to the awkward stammering in the stacks of the library. Or the phrasing of what felt as a sudden dismissal. All Sherlock could think about was John's gaze on his neck, lips, reddening cheeks. How heated he felt under that gaze, how alone when John left. He was itching with desperation to not just be looked at but also touched. It was juvenile fantasy. But he was alone in his bedroom, it was past midnight, and he could indulge. He imagined John's hand reaching to touch his cheek, his fingers brushing his lips. He buried his head into the pillow and groaned. Could John ever see him like that, ever want him?

notes: librarian!Sherlock, I don't usually read AUs but this one is so sweet and lovely, Sherlock sets up themed displays at work

The Unexpected Affair of the Injured Detective by marycrawford

Holmes comes home from work.

notes: watson stitches holmes back up, and comforts him after a nightmare. ACD

Darling by Artemis (Citrine)

Inspired by a very old prompt about Watson calling Holmes 'darling' by accident:

With my eyes closed and my head resting on the padded back of my armchair I let the haunting, lilting music of Holmes’ violin wash over me. The exquisite sounds he drew from the violin and the warmth of the fire lulled me into a gentle daydream. Even when the music drifted into silence I stayed still and quiet, basking in my cocoon of contentment.

notes: ACD/Victorian Holmes

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b

Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing.

They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want.

notes: the first retirementlock fic I ever read, have reread it many times when in need of some happy ending loveliness

In Dreams by orphan_account

Every once and a while, the dark makes it easier to see.

notes: sleepy bed sharing, sherlock being himself (irritating) while confessing his feelings

Bread and Wine and Curry Once a Week by cwb 8.7k

"I am not agitated. I'm just tired of it. The insinuations, the comments, that I have no... no interest in relationships, or sex."

"Oh. So you do, then?"

"Maybe."

"Which? Relationships, or sex, or both?"

notes: love letters, love confessions, first date, first time

Five Times John Noticed But Didn't Really by ScandalousMinds 6.3k words

5 times John (thought) he noticed something peculiar about his and Sherlock's relationship but really missed the obvious.

notes: fluff, getting together, misunderstandings, insecure sherlock

What Sweeter Music by englandwouldfalljohn 917 words

Mulled wine. That was the ticket.

After the 221B Christmas Party, a relaxed Sherlock takes one more request on his violin... and finds more than he hoped for under the mistletoe.

notes: Sherlock speaks without realizes, confessions, violin, first kiss

Notes On A Love Story by A_Candle_For_Sherlock 4k words

Watson finds a copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray in Holmes' room. Or: what happens when a queer novel upends Baker Street.

notes: lovely, honest and sweet, ACD getting together

Laundry Day by Tysolna  1.1k

Habitually, every Tuesday without fail, John goes and does his laundry. Sherlock had developed a habit of his own: He would put small handwritten notes into the pockets of John’s trousers. Notes containing small things, mundane things, calm little asides in the usually hectic and turbulent life in 221B.

notes: could be anywhere you want in canon, sweet, notes and love notes

4+1 (Four Times John Touched Sherlock's Hair, And 1 Time Sherlock Understood Why) by Stressed_Depressed_Lemonzest

Fact: John touched his hair Fact: It felt impossibly wonderful Fact: Sherlock had no idea what to do with this information Sherlock hated feelings. They were illogical, pointless and made no sense. Feelings about John were double that. But they were also pretty wonderful.

notes: set around S1/2, fluffy fluff, gen

But a Flesh Wound by scullyseviltwin 2.4k

John has an accident while making dinner and Sherlock... overreacts.

Five Times Sherlock Fell Asleep in John's Arms by Accident and the One Time He Did It – Accidentally – on Purpose by WillowGrove 7k

Sherlock notices that John keeps cuddling him to sleep and he rather likes it. But then John stops, and Sherlock has to result to schemes to make it happen again. Who falls asleep, who wakes up in who’s arms, and – most importantly – will there be a kiss in the end?

[sarascamander]

If you love Kit and Ty, you HAVE to read the Adventure of Holloway Holmes — it gives the EXACT VIBE of KitTy. I'm not even kidding. We have two wannabe sleuths absolutely pining for each other, crimes to solve, amazing banters, and just so much more! One of the similarities:

1. The main character is Jack Moreno who Kit wished he was. I LOVE KIT but Jack stole my heart in a way he didn't lmao. They both are sarcastic, hilarious, independent and undeniably in love with their partner in crime. Honestly, being in Jack's head is one of the best experiences of my love. It's so fun!

I wanted to close my eyes. I wanted to smack my head against the steering wheel. Off the top of my head, I could make a list: some fairly good weed, a lot of addies, condoms (not that those were illegal), unopened vapes (those were), this rare tentacle porn manga that Ty Bryce had paid me for but asked me to hold on to. After I got out of prison in thirty years, I already knew, Dad was going to make me have a super awkward sex talk.

2. And Holmes aka H (as Jack fondly nicknamed because Holloway Holmes is such a posh name in his humble opinion) is so precious!!!! I want to wrap him in a blanket burrito even though he is actually capable of breaking my arm without blinking. But god! Someone needs to take care of him. Although it's never been specified in the book, I'm 80% sure he's autistic. Either that or he was badly abused (which he was). He reminded me of Ty by the way he speaks and acts.

I examined his face. Then I gave him a smile. He was doing a Holmes thing, not looking me in the eye, so I moved my head until he was. This was something we’d been working on.

3. You know how Kit will suddenly drift to a paragraph of how beautiful Ty is? Well, Jack Moreno might give Kit a run for his money (he's so obsessed with H's knuckles and the thousands of shades of gold in his hair, it's embarrassing)

He made a frustrated noise. Then he smiled. The expression was a little stiff; he wasn’t used to doing it, and it was another of those things that he was self-conscious about. I’d read about people who get up at two or three in the morning—on vacation, no less, when they’re in Hawaii—and then they drive hours and hours, and all of it is to see the sunrise from this one specific spot, and I thought, Come to Utah if you want something worth your time

Context: they're in Utah. Jack basically said that Holmes' smile is prettier than the sunrise!! 😩

4. Their relationship is literally so pure and one of the things that get me insane about them is their communication!! They always worked hard to communicate with each other and sort things out it's so satisfying to read!!

“I lied,” Holmes said, but he still wasn’t looking me in the eye. “I am angry with you.” “I guessed.” “I don’t want to do this right now.” “It’s good practice."

5. Their banter is *chef kiss*

“I’ll tell him it’s a sex thing.” “Good,” Holmes said. “He’ll be pleased that all your hours of mindless pornography are finally paying dividends.” My jaw legit dropped. “H!” “Desk, please.” “That was so amazingly bitchy.” “Desk.” “And, like, also kind of evil. Which I loved.”

And there are literally hundreds of reasons to read this trilogy if you are craving for Kit and Ty. And although their vibes are similar, they are also their own people. And words can't say how much I adore them. The story and relationship is really beautifully written. I honestly don't care much about the crime but I'm obsessed with these two

Some of my favourites quotes:

He sat there in silhouette, head down. I knew the curve of his spine. I knew the span of his shoulders. Anywhere, I thought. I could be anywhere and know you

“You are my soul, Jack Moreno. I do not know why John Watson wrote his stories that way, why he wrote himself so small, when he was so much more. I do not think I will ever understand. But I do not want to know what I would be without you.”

I knew that he was something more than me, something vast and wonderful that I could only touch the edges of. But for someone like me, the edge was enough—just a glimpse was enough. And, more importantly for right now, I knew what he sounded like when he’d been hurt, the quality of his breathing, because I’d hurt him in a way few people ever had. Which was why, in those rare midnight hours when I could be honest with myself, I knew it was better this way, as friends. Because I didn’t deserve him

“But he was so much more. Sherlock Holmes was a brilliant detective, Jack. He would have been that regardless of other circumstances. But he was a good man—he was a happy man—because of John Watson.”

“What do you say to that, I wanted to know. What am I supposed to say? What do you want me to say? But what I was really asking was, How am I supposed to do this again? I barely survived the first time; what am I supposed to do when you leave me again?”

I had seen, this spring, jacaranda blossoms so pale they were almost blue, trembling with the breath of the mountains. I had seen, when I'd been twelve, a foil of goldfinches flocking against the crushed dusk. I had seen a shooting star once, thinning across the sky like combed silver. And I had seen Holloway Holmes smile.

There's so much but I don't want to spam so I really hope you give it a try!!

[oldtvandcomics]

Pulptober 2024: 26 - Not Like We Remember

"It's inevitable that, through the adaptation process and the passage of time, people's ideas of what a character is changes. This is for characters where this is...particularly drastic such that the way people envision them is often radically different from how they were originally." - Original prompt by @krinsbez

I have A LOT of thoughts about this, so I'm going to change my usual pattern of going for a character and write an essay instead.

TL;DR: In my experience, one could argue that this is true for all stories that have gone through some adaptations. At least it is in the minds of the general population. Fans who are invested enough to watch/read the original might be a little different, depending on which character you're talking about.

Many fans have pointed out fandoms' bad tendency to simplify and occasionally twist characters in order to fit them into neat narrative boxes, and the way that this hurts fanworks, because they now fail to interact with any of the things that made said character unique to begin with. What I would like to propose:

Mainstream adaptations and popular perception of a story do this too.

Trends that I have observed to happen during adaptations:

All clever characters -> insufferable genius who is full of themselves and keeps rubbing this into everyone's face (Sherlock Holmes; the Doctor, occasionally)

The one woman important for the story -> the hero's love interest, if he didn't originally have one (Irene Adler; Lenore "Casey" Case; Lieutenant Uhura*; Dan Reid Sr.'s wife (who also appears to have changed her first name from Linda to Rebecca in the process? *The 2008 Star Trek movie is ALSO guilty of erasing two out of the three important female officers, leaving only Uhura. If you were to give Spock a love interest, why didn't you stick with Nurse Chapel?! But those movies are a rant for another time.)

"Cool" male hero -> Insufferable asshole who thinks that he is cooler and better than anyone else and treats women like assets to get across how cool he is (Captain Kirk; Han Solo too, at least I personally would argue so)

White hero + partner who is a person of color, both more or less equally competent -> White guy is a complete idiot who wouldn't be able to keep himself alive + partner is insanely competent and does the work for both of them without receiving any thanks (The Lone Ranger + Tonto; The Green Hornet + Kato)

Any period typical prejudices that might have been present in the original get amplified by ten (The Green Hornet; The Lone Ranger; Sherlock Holmes; the First Doctor)

Two very close male friends -> They hate / barely tolerate each other (The Lone Ranger + Tonto; The Green Hornet + Kato; Kirk and Spock (!!); Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson)

Any woman in a leading position -> Girl with a sword and very 21st century attitude (Nimue that one time; Not sure how much Enola Holmes counts because she is an original character, but....)

Woman who is NOT in a leading position but doing her thing -> Screaming damsel in distress (Susan Foreman; Lois Lane in the minds of those who don't actually consume these stories)

There are absolutely more, these are just the most obvious ones that are bothering me. My general attitude towards older stories is to approach them with the best possible intention, and try to read past any outdated language and tropes. There is SO MUCH beauty and diversity there if you do that! But I really have the impression that the people making these adaptations don't always approach the original with the same good faith, if they really read/watch/listen to these stories at all. And then there is of course the inevitable game of telephone between people who know the original and understand the cultural context it was made in, people who know the original but don't understand the context, and people who only know the original through pop culture osmosis.

IDK, the only solution I see is to drastically shorten copyright, so that the people who get to retell these stories are the ones who actually love them, and of course to give Hollywood writers the time and resources to actually do their research. None of which I see happening.

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE C

Dr. John Watson Propaganda:

He literally admits that he changes his stories. "One day the true stories may be told"? Do I need to say more?

Gideon Nav Propaganda:

(Spoilers for Ht9) She just. Fully ignores most of the magic plot happening around her in the first boom to be a dyke. In the second book it’s even less reliable and it’s fully fucking insane. It’s first person but she’s telling YOU (harrow) what is happening and it’s impossible to decipher. The appearance and personality of every character is fully morphed by Gideon’s mean dykishness.

MASSIVE spoilers. Like even mentioning that this is a thing is a huge fucking spoiler. I normally don’t care about spoilers that much but I legitimately feel awful for anyone with even a passing interest in reading these books who has this spoiled for them. Anyway. Yeah turns out the second-person narration is actually a first-person narration by the dead girl living in Harrow’s head whose death traumatized Harrow (and the entire fandom) so badly that she literally lobotomized herself to forget it and give Gideon a chance at not having her soul digested.

constantly adds her own commentary, does not pay attention to the interesting moving parts of the plot bc she's too busy looking at pretty girls, cannot be trusted to read her own intentions correctly never mind anyone else's. I love her dearly

she just doesn’t notice or doesn’t give a shit about a ton of plot-essential information. Harrow and Palamedes are talking about a necromantic theorem that would blow open the entire story if we could hear them? You can instantly feel Gideon’s eyes glaze over and her mind wander to the nearest available hot girl, and our attention goes with her. It’s handled so smoothly that you might not even notice it happening until a second or third read.

More Propaganda under cut!

Gideon Nav is all but useless as a narrator, and we love her for it. So first of all, she knows absolutely nothing. She grew up under a rock. Almost literally. When the plot is happening near her, she almost never tells us about it. Politics, history, and the magic system are boring. Let her know when there's something she can FIGHT. She also has very selective emphasis and focus that can change a scene completely without ever actually lying. She can tell the same story—to us, in her third-person narration as a factual recounting—and in one version the incident will be a schoolyard scuffle, while a later telling will reveal it to have been a near-homicide. She'll confidently interpret other character's motivations and emotions, only to later be proven wrong. But the thing that makes her REALLY unreliable? She lies to HERSELF constantly. She will tell us in her narration that she doesn't give a shit where someone disappeared to, and then spend the whole day searching for them. She'll say she hates someone, when. Well....

okay so i am actually going to do one segment about her own book and one about harrow’s so many apologies and also many spoilers ahead okay? okay so in gideon the ninth it’s a well known thing that she’s an unreliable narrator on two fronts: she lies to herself and therefore us about how she’s feeling and what she’s thinking, and also she isn’t paying attention to the plot at all. the only things she pays any attention to are hot girls, swords, and hot girls with swords. at one point she watches their only way out be sealed off and is so bored about it that she goes to sleep watching it happen, taking absolutely no note of “oh hey they’re trapping us here”. later someone asks IN FRONT OF HER “hey where did all our shuttles go” and shes like “😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌” and still does not make the connection. babygirl. but THEN!!!!! in HARROW the ninth (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD) gideon is the narrator the ENTIRE TIME (except for the revised canaan house parts) and not only does she editorialize, she also straight up lies about events and motivations! partially justified by her being inside harrow’s head, but like. babygirl. beloved. the interjections of “holy fuck” and “pommel” and othersuch things is so important to my mental health and wellbeing. thank you. thank you for lying to us so so much.

[mwagneto]

sherlock & co. review from an insane person (me) coz this is like. the 25th? sherlock adaptation i've checked out so ofc i have opinions on everything ever. and ik ppl who work on indie podcasts browse tumblr sometimes so just in case you work on this DON'T click keep reading, this post is not for youuu shoo. thanks x

ok so far it's like. fine? which is lowkey sad coz i wish it was smtg i really liked but it hasn't gripped me yet which is a shame but yknow. early days. i'm giving it time since it's only 15 episodes so far

my main issue is like. i really wish it wasn't so obviously influenced by bbc but it just so clearly is which is a shaaame like it's better than bbc in every aspect but yknow. not a high bar to clear. like it kinda feels like they liked a lot of things abt bbc and set out to fix the bad parts (h&w friendship being nonexistent, the mysteries being shit) but just kept the rest? in some places keeping things that were invented by bbc which is. baffling tbh

i'm not really picky when it comes to h&w personalities like i think it's fine to just do whatever you want w them, i think it's really fun when an adaptation gives them different personalities than what you're used to but, and this is where it feels far too bbc-ish for comfort, i just don't like it when sherlock is a cunt for no reason? like. he's not a mean person he's only mean in bbc coz moffat thought house md was cool and ripped it off. can we stop making him mean pleeeease 😭 he's just some guy..................

h&w relationship wise it's like... ok so i tend to go into adaptations with a fully clean slate so like i never let my general attachment to them influence how i view them in specific adaptations, the work itself needs to sell me on both the characters and the relationship and like... here neither of those really happened yet which makes me sad coz i think by now it should've but i'm giving it time. at least they're friends and i like that watson is useful for cases/knows things holmes doesn't sometimes coz thats like. such an essential element to sh stories for me and a loooottt of adaptations tend to just completely forget it so that's a win but idk if anything they're too tame? like i dont expect a romance but they can't just be casual friends they need to be bat shit crazy about each other. to me. but like maybe that'll develop over the rest of the podcast we'll see

kinda related to that point but case-wise i think holmes is a bit too ahead of everyone else sometimes which isn't inherently a problem but it does once again smell of bbc which like. noone should ever emulate moffat writing don't do that 🙏 god bles. but i've been able to solve every case along with/before the mcs which is like. thee point of mystery stories for me so yea i really like the stories themselves so far, especially the way they manage to make them solvable even without visuals or narration. OH and i almost forgot but i rly like the soundtrack, i love it when sh soundtracks have a heavy emphasis on violins coz. yknow

howeverr i am on my hands and knees begging them not to give watson a girlfriend tho like please oh myfffucking god . obvs watsonlock doesn't usually factor into my enjoyment of adaptations given that like. y'know. out of the hundreds out there theres only two where either of them is even gay so it's not something i expect nor require but like. to me it is essential that these two ppl are insane abt each other and don't really have anyone else, definitely noone important. like even the rdj movies got this despite ritchie's obsession w the 2 men 1 woman dynamic so idk why i'm constantly having to wage a war against random unnecessary romances for either watson or, god forbid, holmes. when the only interesting relationship either of these men have is with each other. that one granada holmes quote about them choosing not to include mary coz holmes and watson dont need anyone else etc etc. like i seriously dislike it when they introduce anyone else like cmonnnnnn thog dont care

anyway tldr. i guess if asked to pick a short description i'd say. promising? i hope it's gonna be good in the long run. the way they do mysteries is already something i like so. i hope they keep that up and i hope the h&w relationship evolves into something i enjoy coz so far i'm like. i can see the bones of smtg i'll potentially like but it's not there yet. but also like. this is an indie production i'm listening to for free so ion wanna rip into it these are mainly just what i liked/disliked based on the preferences i developed with this one quick trick (grow up completely insane abt sherlock holmes -> consume every adaptation that you can get your paws on -> no profit)

[crowleyholmes]

Can you tell me about your Sherlock Holmes interest? You blogging about it has intrigued me!! Do you have a favourite adaptation you'd recommend? What do you love about the dynamic? I'm very interested to hear your thoughts!

(totally all good if you don't feel like answering, no stress 🩵 your posts just made me super interested but I wouldn't know where to start with engaging in such a huge volume of media)

Ohhhhhh what an ask to wake up to. I hope you know what you've done. You've just given me permission to unleash my full insanity on you. (I love you I love you I love you I lo- bless you)

I'm gonna be so honest I didn't even know where to start until I decided to just tackle your questions one by one so HERE I GO

(Under the cut so everybody who doesn't care can just scroll right by <3)

“Tell me about your SH interest”

Alright, I'll just out and admit it, it all started with BBC Sherlock – I'm sure I'm not alone with this. I absolutely fell in love with this show, then got so thoroughly disappointed by the last season I thought okay, this can't be right. I refuse. So started to read the original ACD Holmes stories and feLL EVEN MORE IN LOVE. The next christmas my brother (bless him) got me this absolutely Stunning collection of (almost) all the Holmes stories:

And I dove headfirst into them. Couldn't get my nose out of them. Started teaching myself to play the violin because Holmes plays it and I loved him so much, that's how obsessed I was.

For a while my irl best friend and I read the stories together, 1 or 2 per day, and we'd send each other voice messages discussing what happened and what we THOUGHT the solution was and then we'd read on to the end and discuss again and it was soooo fun. We stopped eventually and I read the rest by myself but those evenings are such fond memories for me I just had to include them here too <3

Okay but before this gets too personal, let's move on to the actual questions you asked!

“Do you have a favorite adaptation?”

DO I EVER.

OHHHHH DO I.

YES I DO.

I'm sure every adaptation out there is brilliant in one way or another but, for me, THE Sherlock Holmes will forever be Jeremy Brett in the 1984 Granada TV series. Unfortunately they had to recast his Watson, but fortunately both Watsons are WONDERFUL and no matter how many times I rewatch I can never decide who I love more. Both David Burke and Edward Harwicke are absolutely brilliant.

There are. Several things that set Granada Holmes apart from other adaptations, to me. Let me attempt to list a few of them without getting too carried away.

I have to start with Jeremy Brett because he's just so wonderful. Also, when I read the Holmes stories, the character my brain conjured looked almost exactly like Brett, even before I'd ever seen him. Perfect casting. I mean just look at this legend.

Also, the way he cared about this character – he came up with an entire backstory for Holmes, and it influenced his acting choices and there are some moment where it clearly shines through and it's so heartbreaking. There is a moment in one episode where Watson is talking about another character who was very lonely growing up (while giving Holmes a meaningful look), and Holmes doesn't get any direct verbal response to it but you can see on Jeremy's face that Holmes relates and it still hurts to think about, and YEAH IT HURTS ME TOO.

In the books, Holmes often goes days without eating when he's on a case, because food is a distraction to him – Well, during filming, when everbody else would go have lunch, Jeremy would often stay on set and study the scripts to perfect and refine every nuance of the way he played it. Once again, perfect Holmes.

Also, in Granada Holmes, Holmes is allowed to be silly. So often, Holmes is portrayed as this cold, loveless logic-machine, but that is not who he is!! In Granada, he gets to laugh and have fun and hum and twirl and jump over furniture and just. Be human. Watson brings out that side of him, and Brett portrays that so beautifully.

It was also extremely important to Brett that the TV show remain as faithful as possible to the books - and I've heard that, more than once, he made the writers change the script because he didn't agree with their take on Holmes. (And judging from the way he plays him: he was most likely correct.)

But you know what they changed? The ONE thing that's in the book that they very intentionally changed, that they very VERY purposefully left out? Watson's marriage.

In Granada Holmes, Watson never marries. He's always with Holmes.

Now, you could argue that they simply didn't want to bother with casting a Mary who would never show up anyway, or write it in there just to have it in there when they could be focussing on the fun cases instead. But. And this may be conjecture on my part, but nevertheless. Jeremy Brett was openly bisexual, so I don't think it's absurd to assume that when he read the books, he saw the same thing so many of us see. Which is that these two characters are in love. They weren't allowed to be, by the times they lived in, or even by their author (though there are theories around that which I will not get into now), but nevertheless, the love is very much there.

Another thing this adaptation does in regard to Watson (which I feel many others fail to do) is that it lets Watson be both Holmes' best friend and ALSO his equal. Of course, most of the time Holmes is doing the deducing and Watson is doing the watching and adoring and cheering on, but sometimes, every now and then, Watson gets to do some clever deducing and Holmes watches him and whenever that happens Brett's Holmes gets such heart-eyes it's unbearable to watch. (allow me to link to just this one example) So often in Holmes adaptations Watson gets belittled and made fun of and is under-appreciated, but in Granada, the opposite is true. Holmes states himself, more than once, that he needs Watson, that he would be lost without him, and Brett himself has emphasized this in interviews as well, said that Holmes would likely have died of an overdose years ago if he didn't have his Watson. Watson loves and adores Holmes, but the same is true the other way around. And it comes through So Beautifully in this show.

Have this gif, just because I like it:

.... I have not managed to keep this short, have I. Sorry.

Shall we move on?

“What do you love about the dynamic?”

I think I already party answered this in the last paragraph about why I love Granada Holmes so much, but. Let me elaborate again. Why shouldn't I? You asked, and you shall receive answers, and I could talk about this all day anyway.

I love that Holmes is very clearly and loudly Different, and not always in an easily-digestible way, but Watson doesn't mind. Not one bit. In fact, he loves him for it.

Holmes can be rude at times, because he forgets about societal conventions – Watson reminds him to be polite, but always with gentleness and kindness and amusement even.

Holmes can be an obnoxious show-off. He loves to talk about how he collected his Clues and got to his Conclusion, he loves to be clever and to be the most intelligent person in the room, he loves to be admired and praised. And Watson loves to listen to him, and loves to praise him. I kid you not, there is a passage where Watson praises Holmes for his cleverness and Watson says. Actually, let me find the passage for you, I need you to see this.

“My companion flushed up with pleasure at my words, and the earnest way in which I uttered them. I had already observed that he was as sensitive to flattery on the score of his art as any girl could be of her beauty.”

Watson knows how much it means to Holmes to be appreciated, verbally, out loud. And he does it, again and again, because it makes them both so happy.

I love how good they are for each other. Holmes provides the adventure, the excitement of the cases, and Watson is his constant, he provides the stability, the calm, routine, he's the home Holmes can come back to after his wild escapades (on the rare occasion that he does go off alone).

I love how protective they are of each other. Most often we see Watson's side of this, there are so many instances where Holmes is threatened by another character, most often a suspect in a case, and the MOMENT they even LOOK at Holmes wrong, Watson will stand up and hover protectively, glare at them, step between them, put his hand on his revolver, or actively throw hands. In most instances, Holmes doesn't need his protection. He's perfectly capable of protecting himself. Still, even knowing that, Watson is more than willing to step between Holmes and whatever perceived danger presents itself, take the punch for him, and make the other party pay.

HOWEVER. There are a few moments, here and there throughout the books, where we see Holmes' side of this. Moments where he knows an investigation will be dangerous, and he apologizes to Watson for involving him in this. (Watson never minds at all). Sometimes he tells him that he understands if Watson would rather not stick around for (insert xyz dangerous thing). (Watson always stays). One time he actively argues with Watson that he has to leave because it is too dangerous and he can't have it on his conscience if something happens to Watson. (Watson does not leave).

In one case, he lets a murderer go free because the crime was done in revenge for a murdered loved one, and Holmes muses that he likely would have done the same, if someone he loved was killed. A few cases later Holmes tells someone that “if [they] had killed Watson, [they] would not have got out of this room alive.”

I love the TRUST between them. So often, Holmes jumps into actions that seem so insane and dangerous, and all Watson can do is follow him and trust that Holmes has a plan. And sometimes (I'm thinking of a specific case here that tore my heart out) Holmes' entire plan hinges on Watson's actions, and specifically Watson's love for him, but Holmes can't TELL him because Watson is a lousy actor, so Holmes just has to trust that Watson will do exactly what needs to be done. “Don't forget, Watson. You won't fail me. You never did fail me.”

And, finally, not really a question but “I wouldn't know where to start.”

I think, personally, I would recommend starting with the first collection of short stories, which is “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes”.

I found the novels a bit harder to get through because of the way they're structured, but that's down to personal preference I'm sure.

If you want to get a feel for the characters before you dive into the books, I can absolutely recommend simply watching the first few episodes of the Granada series. I believe they're all online? Yeah, I found them [here]!

Scandan in Bohemia was never my favorite case (for many reasons, most of which being the way every adaption seems to love to force a love story between Holmes and Irene Adler – thankfully Granada doesn't do this, but it's still simply not my favorite case), but episode 2 and 3, The Dancing Men and The Naval Treaty are two of my ABSOLUTE favorites in the whole series.

So go ahead and treat yourself!!

And if you decide to read the short stories, don't forget that most collections do not include “The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes” - but that one contains one of the most infamous moments in the entire series which fans just go absolutely insane over, so make sure to read that too.

And now I've accidentally written 3 A4 pages.

Whoops. I'm sorry. I hope this is what you wanted.

[amonrastbrowns]

my full NFL team ranking 😚

key things to note: this is my first full season as a fan, i get most of my team knowledge from analysts, social media and my dad plus going based off overall vibes

eternal faves are my lions ofc <333 this team MEANS something to me!! i love their bond, their attitudes, their ways of always thinking outside of the box and doing crazy shit etc. and their coach!! dan campbell you absolute gem i love you so much. my fave player is amon ra (duh) but truly all of the team are my babies, even the players we haven’t drafted, traded for or got through free agency yet lmao

i root for you!

bills; mainly for my precious keon but the team just has great vibes overall. love how their fans are always donating to players’ causes! it’s very sweet

bengals; similar to the bills, just have great vibes. i hope they keep tee bc i can’t imagine them without the big 3! and andrei is my baby doll i love him dearly

texans; i’m ngl 90% is bc i love cj stroud to death. like he is so sweet with his shy girl personality and chubby cheeks and big eyes and glasses and and and yeah. also the other 10% is tank dell aka tankerbell. i can ignore the players i’m not fond of (stef, azeez) bc those two are still on there lmao (ik every team has bad apples tho)

chargers; cool team but damn can they get some playoff wins??? tarheeb is literally so beautiful!! big eyes and dimples!! my absolute baby. justin is cool and nonchalant. their coach is insane. they have arguably the best social media manager. good vibes all around

eagles; ik their fans get dogged on but i love their team. jalen, saquon, devonta, aj etc. just a very fun group. i have beef with cjgj and jalen carter tho… but like the texans, the other members outweigh that lol

commanders; mainly cuz of jayden but terry is also very likable imo. very promising team! excited to see what they do next season (tho they do scare me a bit after our playoff loss to them)

you’re cool

cardinals; not much to say here but trey mcbride has two moms and i fuck with that heavy. also kyler is cool, shoutout all the blasians out there

ravens; nate wiggins my absolute baby with his big eyes and smile. he honestly carries the team for me even as a rookie. but ofc lamar and derrick and all them are cool too. marlon however is my mortal enemy

panthers; bryce is soooo baby and cute. i love his smile <333 hopefully they do better next season cuz i gotta support my fellow cat team

colts; this team intrigues me. they’re really not serious at all which is why i like them. shoutout adonai mitchell, hope he does better next season

seahawks; mainly bc of jsn!! but they’re pretty cool as a whole. legion of boom era was A Time that i wish i was around for

buccaneers; baker mayfield endears me and mike evans seems cool (also his childhood is insane?? like hello) also best branding in the NFL by a mile. they have a pirate ship at their stadium!! coolest thing ever

you exist

falcons, cowboys, jaguars, rams, raiders, dolphins, patriots, saints, giants, jets and titans. i don’t really care about these teams all that much and i’m getting tired of typing lmao so if you have questions about any of em, ask in the tags!

division rivals

they get their own tier bc i can’t find myself rooting for any of them unless they play the chiefs. rome odunze is my baby however, love his shy girl personality and big eyes to death

very evil energy

browns; as long as deshaun watson is on that roster i cannot find myself to ever root for them

broncos; bo nix genuinely scares and annoys the fuck outta me. why does your name have five letters. why’d you play in college for 20 years and then end up mid in the pros. why do you look like that. so many questions

chiefs; everyone hates them so i won’t get into it. free isiah pacheco!!

steelers; annoying fanbase but unlike other teams, their roster can’t cancel that out. george pickens is annoying as hell. tj watt is a crybaby. russ is washed and corny. their best player is their kicker. free justin fields

49ers; similar to the steelers, annoying fanbase but their roster can’t cancel it out. deebo, brandon, nick, hell even brock sometimes pisses me off. george kittle is the one bright spot on that team. i’ll forever make fun of them for admitting they didn’t know the overtime rules in the fucking super bowl of all games

and that’s all folks! <3

[mustfindcreativeusername]

Granada Holmes season 1 thoughts

I (finally) started watching this with my grandma and my roommate, who decided to join us. Unfortunately grandma wasn't impressed (pacing) so she dropped it after ep 4. But me and my roommate are enjoying it! So now we're watching it together, 1 ep/day.

Anyway here are my very unfiltered thoughts. Straight from the notes app

--

1- SCAN (30 iul)

Yessss. I liked it. A lot. Loved the disguises, i didn't even recognise him in the first disguise.

..why did they change it to "Irena" tho?? At least that's how they pronounced it. Weird.

At least they didn't butcher her personality

2. DANC (31 iul)

I liked this but it seemed slower. And after they get the bad news i feel like it should've been a bit.. worse? At least make the wounds more horrible. And why is Elsie still in the house? They had time to get her to a hospital.

3. NAVA (1 aug)

I hadn't read this one so i didn't know what to expect. I liked it. We made a lot of fun of Percy. I thought at one point that he had hidden them and was playing it up but no, he really was that dramatic.

Poor Holmes hurt his hand :(

Also very funny, i actually hurt my hand like 10 minutes after the episode ended.

Like during the episode I was all "awww do you want one of my pink peppa pig bandaids :(" and guess what. Guess fucking what.

4. SOLI (2 aug)

Well well well

I enjoyed this

I especially enjoyed Holmes beating up that creep

I have not read this story either but i listened to the Sherlock and Co episode. So i kinda knew the basics but not too much, yk.

My roommate appreciated how polite Holmes was with miss Smith. And i was reminded of that one part in the books where Holmes said that he thought of one of his clients like his own daughter. (Don't know what story it's from tho, i only saw it in screenshots on here)

I think it had a good ratio of intense (the obvious) and funny (holmes being kinda mean to watson, the ending :) )

Also the whole wedding in the woods bit was insane. Who would really think that that's enforceable. Jeez.

5. CROO (4 aug)

I mean it was alright. The "david" thing was a bit weird? Especially because she muttered it in her sleep? Like i guess it's something like calling someone a karen but still. The fact that she still said "david" in her sleep was odd.

Also what... How could someone do that? Indirectly (try to) kill a person who trusts you bc you like their girlfriend. That's insane.

He had it coming. Too bad it took 30 years🤷

Also Holmes being mean to that guy in the beginning was hilarious.

Oh oh and Watson's deduction at the end? "Elementary, my dear Holmes" :)))) that was good. We cheered for him

6. SPEC (5 aug)

AAAHH YEAASSSS YESS FINALLY this is my favourite story from the books, it's one of the ones i read when i was around 10 and it was my favourite then and yeah. Love it.

But yeah loved to finally see it on screen. I imagined the snake bigger and spotty-er but yeah. Oh and i loved the interactions between Holmes and Watson. And between them and Miss Stoner. (I told my roommate if i see one more person describe him as cold and emotionless, I'm throwing hands)

I liked that Holmes kinda felt bad for bringing Watson along because it was so dangerous, only for Watson to immediately go anything for you Beyonce :))

And then in the room, his hand shaking? Quality content. Bc yeah. It's a wild animal, it's unpredictable. (Super stressed at the end when he picked it up?? In his hands?? Like yea the leash was there but bruh-)

Also poor Watson being woken up twice :)) (does Holmes know how to wake someone Watson up like a normal person? Unclear)

Also also- "my intimate friend"

Yes

7. BLUE (6 aug)

Right so i do know the original story but i read it a while ago. I still think it's nice that they let the guy go but i remembered him more sympathetic in the books. Idk. Also, did Holmes keep the stone? I thought it was a bit of an odd choice. And how were they able to free the plumber guy without the culprit or the stone? Ehh yeaah, odd.

Also is everyone forgetting that Holmes and Watson aren't the only ones who know that the carbuncle is with them??

Anyway

God he looked so different at the beginning of the episode, before he did his hair. Also my roommate made a comment about having cigarettes for breakfast and. Yeah, petition to have this guy eat a normal meal?? *Sigh*

Also why did we see Watson with a bunch of presents and then never saw any one of them opened? Chehov's Christmas presents. I wanted to see what he got for Holmes

(At least we have the Sherlock and co episode...)

[angelica4equity]

"About the Blogger" Meme

Thanks to @currymanganese for tagging me 💕

Star Sign(s):

Aries Sun, Leo Moon, Gemini Rising

Favorite Holidays:

Christmas because it's coldish and I am finally not sweaty 😭

Last Meal:

Two pork tamales with a sunny side up egg on a bed of Mexican fried rice 🤤

Current Favorite Musician:

Spanish band called Shego. I know I know, I hate the ethpanyoles most of the time but damn I love whiny rock music that tells men to go fuck themselves 😍

Last Music Listened To:

Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding ( yes I was watching a fanvid that's the only song legally allowed as a background)

Last Movie Watched:

Mr Monk's Last Case. SO GOOD I literally cried. I loved USANetwork so much as a kid and I grew up with these shows. Yes the treatment of OCD wasn't totally accurate but Mr Monk did make me feel seen as someone who, because of their brain, just can't stop themselves even when they know everyone is frustrated. When I heard they were making a movie I was so excited bc I love the Psych movies so much and I was thrilled Monk was getting his sequel too 😭.

Last TV Show Watched:

The Bear. On my third rewatch 😍👌🏽

Last Book/Fic Finished:

Get a Life, Chloe Brown! By Talia Hibbert. 1, I am a slut for well written romance, 2 I love books about marginalized bodies and 3 I love supporting Black women. This book is part of a series called The Brown Sisters novels and each book focuses on a different sister's romance. It's so good! I accidentally read the third one first but now I've read 2/3. Funny and a lil freaky. I love it!!!! 10/10 would recommend but I also recommend checking it out at a library to boost circulation markers.

Last Book/Fic Abandoned:

I tried reading another romance book called the Right Swipe but so far it hasn't grabbed my attention so I haven't really finished it.

Currently Reading:

Take a Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert (second of three in Brown Sisters novels)

AND

Falling Twice by Myst867 this is a Harry and Hermione Fanfic don't @ me

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation:

Pegging and how to do it, SPECIFICALLY for my fanfic although I'm sure I'll need that info in my life eventually 🤭

Favorite Online Fandom Memory:

Probably the DashCon Ball Pit fiasco

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence:

Elementary 😭😭😭😭. I love and miss this version of Sherlock Holmes and Joan Watson so gutturally. It was tender, it was loving, and goddamn it was FUNNY.

Also Charmed (Original) bc if we had ao3 when it was airing it would have been OVER

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did:

There's too many to write but I will start with

Legend of the Seeker a show based on the Sword of Truth novels which was game of thrones-y without the rape scenes being showed and a smaller cast. Loved the chemistry between Craig Horner and Bridget Regan 😭

Pitch This show was done so dirty, I LOVED the concept of this which was the first woman baseball player in the MLB and Mark Paul Gosselaar with Kylie Bunbury dynamic was INSANE. I loved how they tackled certain issues 😭.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Reign In/Don't Have Time For:

Starting another Regency Era fanfic (as if I don't already have one I haven't finished lol)

[envihellbender]

Sherlock anal vore

Ohhhhhh we’re just pulling out the big guns now

Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes (books, very much a darker timeline with darker characters)

Content: extreme obesity, immobility, extreme weight gain, feedee/feeder, anal vore, made up science, cannibalism, dead dove do not eat

—

It began two years ago, and somehow it had been maintained consistently ever since. Moriarty and Sherlock had entered a competition that originally John had considered childish until he began to see the benefits. It started when Sherlock had discovered that Moriarty had grown from a skeletal lizard to a gigantic beast of a man. He’d gained four hundred pounds in a matter of months and it drove Sherlock mad trying to figure out how. Eventually he created a serum that turned his slim build into a barely mobile creation he was oddly proud of. That was when Moriarty needed to prove he could be bigger than Sherlock, so of course that meant the detective had to try and beat his archenemies too. John originally scoffed and rolled his eyes but he had to admit, he certainly did enjoy seeing Sherlock turn into a handsome, corpulent gentleman.

The last three months Moriarty’s weight had skyrocketed, their meetings had resulted in Sherlock and John glowering as Moriarty and Moran were smug at their progress. Ever since, Sherlock had been working to try and find a method to cause weight gain even faster than his current serum. He ate absently but constantly, always having cakes in his hands as he worked. Moriarty would swallow people whole regularly, and if Moran hadn’t sent a video then Sherlock would have never believed it. That had to he apart of the reason, he thought. But there had to be more to it. After three weeks, Sherlock invented a rectal tube - essentially it mean he was being fed through his mouth and behind instantaneously. Both would go directly to his stomach ensuring it could he constantly full, this was of course in combination with the feeding tube that was surgically inserted through his navel. That had sped things along, and Sherlock was delighted at how he was constantly stuffed. However it wasn’t fast enough, and after two weeks of his new feeding set up it suddenly came to him. John was clearing away the plates of Sherlock’s feast when he slapped his gut happily and laughed suddenly. John jumped but smiled fondly as he saw Sherlock’s adipose ripple and shake.

“What’s got you so excited?” John asked, Sherlock’s teeth were pressed on his plump lip, he began tapping at his specially modified computer. His fat brow furrowed as his bloated face grew pink at how much he was focusing.

“I’ve figured it out. I now how we’re going to make me bigger,” Sherlock grinned. John couldn’t repress his own smile at how sweet Sherlock looked with his bloated, dimpled cheeks almost hiding his eyes from view.

“Well, don’t leave me in suspense,” John said poking his adipose ridden boyfriend’s bloated breast.

“Okay so…” Sherlock began, his blue eyes bright as he spoke with a wheeze. “You know how Moriarty manages to swallow some of his more alive meals whole? So he can feel them existing within his gut and he swears there is more fat absorbs?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, as we know, I can’t do that-”

“Yeah. Moriarty is so much of a snake he can unhinge his jaw, apparently.”

“Anyway, I realised. Whilst I may not be able to take them in my mouth… well, there’s no reason the I couldn’t go up my rectal tube.”

“That… that is insane but it just might-” John paused for a moment in thought. “They might not survive being inside the tube. They might have to enter corpses but they will be in your gut without a single bite taken from them.”

“Hm. Not ideal but it’s certainly a start, I shall start on the schematics. If you think it’s feasible, my doctor.”

“You know it’s certainly possible, love. It might involve a lot of stimulation and such first.”

“I think we both know that’s not a problem.”

—

“Dear God, I am starving,” Sherlock groaned. His eyes half lidded as tears gathered in the creases and folds made by his fat cheeks and forehead.

“I know love, but we can’t have your stomach be too full for the first test,” John soothed as he massaged Sherlock’s gut in an attempt to calm him somewhat. John was fussing over Sherlock as everything was prepared. He found it difficult to trust Sherlock’s nursing staff and was double checking all of their work and making adjustments when it was deemed necessary. Suddenly, the tablet made a noise and several nurses entered the room. A crane was lowered and Sherlock was lifted onto the hoist with difficulty, slowly he was turned into his gut and left to rest there for a moment. John scurried to the side of his head, just next to his neck roll to stroke his hair and check he was okay. When Sherlock let out a wheezing moan it became clear the tube was being eased inside him and expanding Sherlock’s asshole.

“How’re you doing, love?” John asked. He stroked Sherlock’s sweat soaked black curls and tried to ignore the twisting in his stomach and hardening between his legs.

“I am … fine,” he gasped. “How big is the person we’re starting with?”

“5’4, 92lbs,” John answered. “This one should be fairly easy but we have more snacks in the cellar if you want to try more.”

“I want you to look, whilst the do it,” Sherlock gasped. John kissed him on the cheek and hurried to his behind. He licked his lips and watched in delight as he saw the squirming, yelling meal desperately try to escape. Eventually they finally crushed him inside. When it was attached to the machinery with him inside he looked ridiculous and obscene. With a few buttons, it was almost as if Sherlock’s behind was welcoming him in. John gave a short intake of breath, his lips growing dry as he watched. He saw the victim become wedged in Sherlock’s rectum head first and he saw him squirm, he heard his muffled yells. They continued even after he was completely swallowed up by Sherlock’s adipose. He wondered idly how long the meal would live.

“John,” Sherlock wheezed, John immediately rushed to his side.

“What is it, love?”

“How was it?”

“Stunning.” John stepped closer, his lips close to where Sherlock’s ear used to be before he was swallowed up by neck and shoulder fat. “You have no idea how much I want to ravage you right now.” He stepped away and began stroking Sherlock’s hair. “How do you feel?”

“Good. Hungry,” Sherlock said with an exhausted smirk. He looked as if he’d orgasmed during the whole affair, perhaps this could be something he got used to.

[christiangeistdorfer]

thank u ever so much to the dearest girl @cazzyf1 to do this cute little f1 tag 😘 thank u caz <3

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE DRIVER? it changes every time i am asked, i guess the one who will always appear in my favourites list is john watson, forever and always 🥰🥰 the more i learnt about him, the more i loved him. i have a video of him yapping for 30+ mins in my tabs.

DO YOU HAVE OTHER FAVOURITE DRIVERS? so many, too many. i guess the ones at the moment are patrick depailler, whose name i recently learnt how to spell without looking up - very big achievement! wolfgang von trips, jack brabham, peter revson, jim clark, chris amon [when are u finally gotta see him as hot??? mhm???? i seriously will not rest] bruce mclaren, carlos pace, riccardo patrese, ronnie peterson, piers courage, the italian drivers of the 80s somehow.

WHO IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE DRIVER? no! i'm not really big into the modern f1 so i'm not a huge fan of any of them but there isn't a driver i don't like. i'm just indifferent towards them. i'm also very forgiving !

DO YOU PULL FOR DRIVERS OR DO YOU LIKE TEAMS AS WELL? i mostly focus on the drivers! they are the personality of the team for sure!

IF YOU LIKE A TEAM, WHAT TEAM DO YOU PULL FOR? mclaren baby !!!! but like pre 2007 ! i like the team because of brucey boo :) brabhaam like obviously i would die for that team i literally ever forgive whatever happened during the 80s to make it go down hill >:((( lotus as well, colin chapman i would probably have insane beef on sight with but literally all the favs drove [or nearly drove] for lotus so i guess i gotta.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN INTO F1? mid april 2023, i'm only a wee baby.

WHAT GOT YOU INTO F1? one day, out of the blew on the date above, i was thinking about daniel riccardo and how he doesn't appear on the tv as much as he used to. being in australia he would appear on news programs when i was younger talking about the shoeys. so i just decided to see what he was doing. i watched those grill the grid videos and thought they were very funny. but because it was modern f1 i just felt weird watching it, i have no idea why. it just felt weird. i already knew about aryton senna from seeing one picture of him on instagram and reading his personal life wiki page like it was my bible when i was like 12. i decided to watch a season of f1, i think it was 1991 and that was it. i was gone. i kept watching it. and went down the rabbit hole.

DO YOU ENJOY FANFIC/RPF? i don't personally partake in it, but i won't stop anyone from enjoying it. that's their life.

HOW DO YOU VIEW NEW FANS? with open arms, as long as you are respectful and credit sources when you can, welcome aboard to the madhouse.

IF YOU COULD TAKE OVER AS TEAM PRINCIPAL FOR ANY TEAM, WHO WOULD IT BE AND WHY?  oh i just couldn't do it. i'm sorry i can't handle that responsibly. i'd be more than happy to watch like some kid on work experience, especially for mercedes, but i'd get thrown too much in the deep in.

ARE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY INTO F1 AS WELL? nope! none of them, that's why it was a huge surprise when i started to watch it. my family's only link is that my dad watched ayrton senna's crash when he got home from the pub. i forced him to watch his first grand prix a couple of months ago. he wasn't too keen. oh and my nana went to a few of the races in the 80s.

ARE YOU OPEN TO TALKING TO OTHER FANS/MAKING FRIENDS? of course !!! i love learning about motorsports and i always try to be helpful - if you ever want to know anything or need a link to a gif i have made, let me know !! i'm very naughty for not putting links to videos!!

i will tag @quattroneuville & @userpironi if they are willing :)