#watching this again in a post liberation notes world like... they should have given her more scenes :(

[fairweathermyth]

MR. SUNSHINE + episode one

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

The Voyage So Far: Dressrosa (Part Two)

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

wild how this is upwards of 750 chapters in and yet i still get a big dumb smile whenever luffy declares he’s going to be king of the pirates. one piece is a series very much driven by its main characters and their goals and dreams- i don’t think it would be nearly as good if the main character was anyone but monkey d. luffy. 

personally, i always just feel kind of proud whenever he says this, because- yeah!! he is!! that’s luffy, he’s going to be king of the pirates, and we’ve known that since day fucking one. 

i really think there’s something to be said about usopp never taking credit for saving luffy and law from sugar. it’s arguably his greatest feat in the entire series thus far- an impossible, perfect shot across an entire country, with an angry mob inches from his back- and he never even tells anybody he did it. he’s come a long way from someone who tells tall tales about heroic acts he never did to someone who doesn’t even feel the need to take credit for ones he really did, so long as his friends are safe.

i really like how corazon’s introduction and characterization throughout the flashback is handled. at the start of law’s flashback, we know a few things about him already: that he’s someone law loved very much, and that he was killed by doflamingo. we know how this ends. 

but then cora is introduced as a clumsy mute weirdo who nearly kills law as one of the very first things he does, and we as the audience aren’t really sure how to reconcile that- and then the rest of the flashback is us, along with law, slowly discovering what a complicated and contradictory but ultimately good person he is. something very similar happens with the asl flashback- we know the endpoint of luffy and ace’s relationship, but the flashback is all about how they got there, from attempted murder to willing self-sacrifice. 

i think it’s really cool the way law and doflamingo’s backstories are layered together. they’re characters who exist with a lot of parallels and similarities between them already, which is something they’re both clearly aware of- i’ve mentioned before i think the only real difference between them is that law got corazon where doflamingo got the executives- and presenting their backstories simultaneously only makes that more obvious. 

i’ve always found it so interesting that we get what’s pretty much our only substantial exposition about the will of d direct from a former celestial dragon. it makes sense- cora’s basically the only character we’ve met who both has this information and is willing to share it-  but i don’t know, there’s something that feels very poetic to me about him having this information that’s clearly been suppressed and hidden by the dragons and willingly choosing to share it in order to help protect law, a D, who should technically be the very enemy he was once taught to hate and fear. 

i really like corazon. 

it fucks me up that we can tell the exact moment cora dies from the moment law starts making noise again. 

this might be a controversial take? i’m not sure. but i like baby five. i think her and sai’s relationship is really sweet, and people might complain about her getting off easy or whatever but i’m honestly glad she gets a happy ending after being thoroughly emotionally abused and broken her entire life. and on a lighter note, she’s also just a fun character to watch through the whole arc- the running gag with her crying whenever law glares at her is still one of my favorites in the whole series. 

the shot of robin’s bloody back is a favorite of mine, because it’s a reveal that doesn’t get lingered on at all, and yet at once it gives the entire proceeding scene a lot more weight when we understand just how much pain she must’ve been in the entire time. and yet she never even flinched or faltered while protecting rebecca. nico robin is very, very strong. 

there’s something so deliciously fitting about diamante’s final fall ending with him cracking his head on scarlett’s grave, and something so lovely about kyros and rebecca finally getting their proper reunion there, when neither of them ever really got a chance to mourn.

law’s line about the strawhats trailing nothing but miracles in their wake is one of the first ones i always think of when i think about the strawhats in general and luffy in particular, mostly because it’s so true. from the very beginning, the strawhats have been doing the impossible, from sailing to the sky to breaking in and out of the world’s greatest prison, and law saw that and staked all his hopes on it and they did not let him down. 

also i think it’s very cool of law to, when held at gunpoint and down an arm, grin, flip doflamingo off, and tell him to eat shit and that luffy is going to kick his ass. love that for him.

i think dressrosa does a very good job of making the victory against doflamingo equally law’s and luffy’s. they cooperate and trade off fighting him throughout the arc to great effect, and i think it’s pretty clear that neither of them could have tackled the massive challenge of dressrosa alone. 

while the final fight is luffy’s, it’s made clear that that’s only after law’s done absolutely everything he could and spent the majority of the arc distracting doflamingo, keeping him occupied, and even fucking shredding his insides with pure radiation before finally needing to tap out. i think it’s a good balance, given that luffy is the protagonist but law’s grudge against doflamingo is the driving force behind the entire arc. 

conqueror’s haki clashes are always very cool, pretty much regardless of who or where or why, but the one between luffy and doflamingo is a favorite. 

one of the things that’s always impressed me about one piece in comparison to other shounen series is how it handles its powerscaling- in that it does it well with a gradual increase and villains who vary widely in strength instead of every arc necessarily needing to be bigger and better than the last- and i think the way it handles powering up the main characters is a big part of that. 

through the entirety of one piece thus far, i’d say luffy has had three major power-ups- second and third gear in enies lobby, haki at the timeskip, and gear four here in dressrosa (an argument could also be made for ryuuou in wano, but i think that’s less major than these others). this helps prevent runaway powerscaling and also makes new power-ups feel like a genuine event, which i really like. 

i once referred to luffy as ‘hopebringer’ in a conversation with friends, and it’s a descriptor for him i think sums up really well how he manages to save so many people while insistently not being a hero. luffy inspires people, inspires whole countries, starting all the way back with coby in romance dawn. it’s one of the reasons i think it’s fitting how thoroughly he’s associated with the dawn. 

doflamingo is very, very scary. which is interesting, because he’s indisputably less powerful someone like kaidou, but at the same time i find him a much scarier villain, and i think it comes down to doflamingo’s gleeful, wanton cruelty. not that kaidou is in any way shape or form a nice person, but our first introduction to doflamingo is him forcing marines to attack each other just because he’s a little bored. he hurts people just because he can, and finds it funny. 

relating to my earlier comment about hope, i really like how the whole country comes together at the end to cheer luffy on and count down to his return. it makes it feel all the more triumphant when it does, especially for the citizens of dressrosa who’ve been suffocating under doflamingo’s rule for years and can finally, finally see freedom.

other people have put a lot more thought of the symbolism of doflamingo’s eyes and glasses than i intend to, but i’ll settle for saying that it’s the breaking of the glasses, before anything else, before the birdcage even vanishes from the sky and everyone is safe, that shows us that, at long last, doflamingo is well and truly defeated. his glasses break, and so does his power. 

i’ve written a longer post about it before (here) but it’s a recurring motif that one piece’s worst villains are those that steal people’s freedom, including, in the cruelest cases, the freedom to express their emotions openly. we see it with koala and the celestial dragons, with the failed smile fruits in wano, and here, too, with kyros. and, much like koala, triumph for him means finally being able to cry. 

i mentioned it back in the first post, but i’m so, so happy rebecca and kyros get the happy ending they deserve. they’ve both been fighting a war that they never should have had to for years and years, and they both deserve to get to just live, now, peaceful and quiet and together and surrounded by flowers. 

i really dig the note dressrosa ends on. it’s happy, of course, obviously, with the liberation of the country, kyros and rebecca’s happy ending, the creation of the grand fleet, even law getting some degree of closure through his talk with sengoku, but it also leaves this massive, gaping question- what now? 

in a way, doflamingo’s speech here follows up on law’s new era speech from punk hazard. luffy and law have just thrown a major wrench into the delicate power equilibrium of the entire new world, and we have all these characters out there who might be affected, who might want to take advantage, who might try to seize the throne. 

[stillness-in-green]

I felt like the plf war was rushed

1.Plf advisors getting hype but no payoff

2.Only miruko, Momo, and Kirishma got time to shine

3.Machia got defeated to easily

4.The war felt more like a raid

I don't know if I feel like it was rushed, per se--it's by far the longest arc in the story so far by number of chapters, and would be even if you cut off the Tartarus jailbreak and the entirety of the hospital aftermath. What it absolutely does feel like to me is unbalanced.

You note that the "war" feels more like a raid, and you're right. As a caveat, it's worth keeping in mind that "Paranormal Liberation War" as a name for the arc in question is entirely an invention of the fanbase. To the best of my knowledge, the reasoning for the name was that big action shonen series like BNHA (Naruto, Bleach, Hunter x Hunter, etc) always have a war arc, so what we were seeing in the lengthy, mass combat confrontation with the PLF had to be HeroAca's equivalent. It's not a term that's in the manga itself, however, not called as such by the characters, not referred to as such by Horikoshi or his editors, not even namedropped in chapter or volume titles. If it feels like a raid, that's probably because that's what it was intended to be.

And that's the problem, really. This arc shouldn't have been about a couple of raids; it should have been about a war.

(Below the cut: a bunch of fired-up complaining. Uses some harsh language, and talks about both injuries and deaths we did see and some we logically should have.)

From the outset, we were told that the resources Shigaraki had amassed were "on par with, or even stronger than" the resources of the hero-saturated society. Yet, we're expected to believe that a force that strong is so easily taken down by a single coordinated set of raids? Yes, the heroes had the benefit of surprise, but there's just so much that doesn't work for me.

First off, and to get this out of the way, it's ridiculous that the heroes even had the benefit of surprise. The MLA had an unknown number of hero double agents. They had people in the government; they had people in the infrastructure. This is an organization that had been living undercover completely unsuspected for multiple generations--how did the HPSC ever manage to carry out a massive, country-wide investigation on such a secretive group and coordinate multiple simultaneous, comprehensive raids without a single person finding out and alerting the higher-ups over a period of only three and a half months?

When exactly did Hawks have time to go and revive Best Jeanist--which he tells us he did personally--such that none of the bugs and micro-cameras he was covered with picked up on it, and both he and BJ could be back in the positions they needed to be in for the raid to begin?

How did Skeptic find out about the raid such that he only discovered it at the last possible second and not minutes, even hours, before it kicked off? How did hundreds of heroes (and even "hundreds" is being conservative, given the fact that they had seventeen thousand people to detain) close in on the villa without anyone from the PLF noticing, either Skeptic with his information network or mundane precautions like people on watch?

Even granting the heroes their surprise advantage--which I don't want to--if the advisors were all supposedly "stronger than the average hero," why didn't we see any of them winning? Okay, yes, Hose Face beat Midnight, but he had every possible advantage in that "fight"; I hardly count it as some big impressive defeat that shows us that the villains were holding their own.

Here's another thing: the MLA styled themselves as an army--they were demonstrably trained in troop tactics. When we saw them in Deika, even their nameless on-the-ground people were capable of coordinating with each other on the fly in response to the movements of the enemy, as we saw come up repeatedly:

Yeah, they were off-guard at first, but as soon as the advisors made the front line (which, you'll note, was immediately), that disadvantage really should have begun eroding. Certainly once Geten--Geten! The number one MLA member most willing to disregard collateral damage! And there he was being a proper leader!--got to the front and started yelling orders, we should have seen the PLF rallying, and I can't imagine any sensible justification for the tides not turning when a) Re-Destro showed up to occupy the highest-ranked hero on the field, b) a bunch of heroes peeled off to try to stop Machia only to get trampled for their efforts, and c) Trumpet got dug out.

You know who don't style themselves as an army, though? Heroes. Oh, they get some basic lessons in cooperation as students, but the extent of such lessons we see is stuff like "why it's important for heroes to have signature moves"--so that on group missions, their reputations will precede them and fellow heroes will already know their shtick. U.A. teaches the odd lesson plan that involves the kids fighting in groups, but there's a huge difference between you and 3 to 6 of your buddies fighting a similarly-sized group in a practice fight, or a handful of heroes teaming up to take down some criminal low-lives, and the mass combat scenario that was the raid. For heaven's sake, look at our closest other equivalent: the raid on the Hassaikai base. At every turn in that encounter, the heroes let themselves get split up and picked off, winnowing down their numbers. It's even explicit in the narrative that hero team-ups were, in the age of All Might, uncommon, and heroes are only just beginning to adjust to fighting in teams. The erstwhile MLA should have had the advantage there.

As to Machia's defeat, I think the big problem with it is not how it happened, per se, but the timescale involved. The plan itself was sound enough, and even with all the kids' efforts, it still took Machia reaching Shigaraki and not getting any new orders to follow to really do him in. Given what we can extrapolate about his movement speed, though, I just don't think the kids should have had time to set all those traps, especially given how much of that equipment would have had to be fabricated by Momo on the fly. I know she's gotten stronger and all, and good for her, but you're telling me that in the four months between Joint Training and the raid, she went from passing out because she created a bag of goodies and one (1) cannon to being totally fine and still able to coordinate her fellow students while cranking out 23 jars of sedative, dozens of feet of rope/cable, multiple fire-resistant coats, explosives they somehow had time to bury, and three cannons?

For fuck's sake, Jirou gave Machia's ETA as under ten seconds. Yeah, Mount Lady slowed him down, but "only a little"--how much time could she possibly have bought them, that the kids were able to to coordinate and enact everything that plan involved?

You guys, go read this post by @codenamesazanka. Machia is so fast. So unbelievably, incredibly fast. "Twice as fast as the fastest train in the world" fast. "Horikoshi clearly did not stop to think about the distances involved here" fast. Three miles in ten seconds fast. It would have been hard enough to square with the needs of the plot that the kids were sufficiently far from the villa to have the kind of time they needed to swing Momo's plan at all, but Horikoshi explicitly letting Machia get right on top of them before the kids even start just makes it completely impossible for me to credit. Machia clearly being slower aboveground than he is when burrowing does not make that much difference to my suspension of disbelief.

My other big complaint? More people should have died, for real. The PLF warriors would not have been holding back. They were ready and willing to kill anyone they came up against. The heroes did have to hold back, because heroes, as we're told over and over again, are not supposed to kill, no matter how dire the circumstances. That difference in ability to exercise force should have been yet another significant advantage for the PLF. I could write an entire list of characters that I think could have reasonably been killed during the raids. That wouldn't be to say that I think any individual, specific character on that list should have died, just that, based on the parameters as they were presented to audience, some number of them should have.

I mean, honestly. How did Horikoshi wanna show us Gang Orca's unmoving claw in the wake of Machia's passage and not have Gang Orca on the list of the dead? How did Fat Gun run right into a mass melee and still have enough fat left over afterward to survive getting trampled by a walking mountain? How did Thirteen survive not getting pulled out of the hospital basement when Shigaraki's Decay hit? How did Trumpet survive getting a staircase dropped on top of him? How did Gran Torino survive a fist through his tiny old man chest cavity?

I could go on and on, but it's not just about the deaths, either. I'm not saying that Kamui Woods necessarily should have died by swinging himself face-first into a blast of blue fire, but I am saying that he should have been out of commission for longer than three goddamn days. You bet your ass I'm saying that after telling us that Hawks' weak point is fire, making us watch him spend at a solid minute or more with his wings wholly enveloped in Dabi's 2000 degree flames, and having Dark Shadow exclaim that his back is completely burned away, Hawks should never have grown his wings back, much less so quickly that they were already visible under his shirt a single day later.

More deaths, more maiming--heck, even more retirements. I'm not saying I love that kind of thing in my fiction--I don't, actually. I think an overreliance on it is a sign of edgelordy nonsense. But the scenario that we had demanded to be treated with the kind of gravity that would have led to such an outcome. To set up a conflict like the raid and have the villains only barely be able to scrape a partial escape, to try to tell us that Shigaraki's victory in Deika granted him such a terrifyingly powerful force only to have them lose every battle they got into, to tell us this was a blow that shook Hero Society to its core, only to be so unwilling to kill or retire any heroes the audience cares about that Midnight is literally the only significant loss… It doesn't work. None of it works.

I don't have much to say on which characters did or didn't get a highlight. I think there were a few more people than you listed that got some good scenes--Tokoyami and Uraraka both got material I liked quite a bit; Dabi famously out-trended the U.S. presidential election on Twitter when he (literally) came clean, and Mr. Compress gave us some wonderfully interesting and characteristically opaque material to chew on. On the whole, though, adding more character moments would only have been dragging out the problem: the scale of the PLF's threat and the HPSC's chosen method of dealing with it are simply incompatible with the feeble "neither side truly won or lost" resolution we got.

And that's my rant on that--thanks for the ask!

[dawnwave16]

Reflections - Project Widow Soldier Part 2

I don’t know if I’ll be posting much of my own content again until after the New year so if you don’t hear from m until then, hope you all have a Merry Christmas (Or whichever holiday you prefer to celebrate!) and I’ll see you in the New Year! Also, I don’t think I’ll be continuing this any further as I have no more headcanons for it but I hope you enjoy this anyway.

Part 1

Anyway on with the story!:

Marinette sat in the lounge of the Avengers tower, eyes closed and for once almost completely relaxed. Friday was playing a mix of Christmas music that had everything from Peter Hollens, Pentatonix and Lindsey Stirling to Frank Sinatra and co. Currently, it was 'Grown-up Christmas List' by Evynne Hollens and its wording was making her reflect on the past few months.

When the Avengers had found out she existed she had been worried that she would be dragged away from the life she had made for herself in Paris completely. She had been extremely when Tony had walked into her class and dealt with Lila, Alya and Ms Bustier as it took all the pressure she had been feeling from dealing with those three herself off of her. The fall out from that had been extremely swift with Ms Bustier being replaced by a Ms Pargeter, who was not only a good teacher but made history much more enjoyable! The class had gone back treating her the way they always had before Lila had taken over and while she didn't care all that much about their opinions it was nice to be able to walk through the halls without people trying to trip her. She was also grateful as she hadn't expected them to support her wish to stay with the Dupain-Cheng's nor had she expected them to stick around long enough to help with the Hawkmoth problem. 

That had been interesting to be part of. Not long after they had arrived in France, there had been an Akuma attack that had forced Master Fu to name her as the guardian. Due to this, she knew she wouldn't be able to leave Paris until Hawkmoth was dealt with, and if she was honest with herself, she wanted a true holiday! This led to her asking the Avengers for help, which they were all too willing to provide. When she wasn't working on her hacking skills with Tony to get into the police video archives, she was sparring with Natasha and Bucky to make sure she hadn't lost her skills there. She had gone over her weapons training with Hawkeye too and was pleased to see that despite not actively using her skills she hadn't lost any of them.

They had had their first break when they had noticed that there were no camera's around the Agreste Mansion and gone backtracking to find out why. Seeing the number of bribes the man had paid to various people to make sure the area remained camera free was staggering, to say the least! The next step was to hack all of the computers in the mansion. She knew that Adrian had missed several classes due to photoshoots and she also knew that all the computers in his home were linked so it was simple to slip a program onto a flash drive that would bypass all of Mr Agreste's firewalls and give them unlimited access to all his computers without having to bother about hacking them. Tony had seen the logic in that as it saved time, even if it did require him to have some patience.

Some of the things they had found on those computers, when combined with the police records had been enough to convince everyone that Mr Agreste or Nathalie was Hawkmoth. When Mayura was added to the mix they were almost 100% sure. To be safe, Marinette had lent her mother the fox miraculous to case out the mansion without it being traced back to any of the avengers. Natasha had named herself Kuma Lisa* and her colouring when transformed was a dark red that could easily be mistaken for black. She had almost no white on her and as a result, she tended to vanish into the shadows which was perfect for her spying activities. When she had seen the huge butterfly window and even more damming, the corrupted butterflies that left from it, they knew they had been right. They also knew they would have to be careful as some of the purchases they had seen through the computers had included military-grade hardware and weapons.

With all the evidence they had, Marinette knew she had to bring Adrian in so that he didn't receive a shock during the battle. She had had to think hard about how to break the news to him and eventually decided to slip him a note to meet her at the Grand Paris where she could reveal herself as Ladybug and the Avengers could back up what she was saying. He hadn't taken it well but in the end, he had lowered his head in defeated acceptance. He had then asked what would become of him when his father was arrested and had been shocked when Tony had offered to adopt him. Tony knew of his love of physics and chemistry and had wanted to nurture it though he knew he would need to get Adrian into councilling so that he didn't end up the same way he had. When Adrian had found out about Marinette was adopted her had been more than willing to accept Tony's offer though he was shocked when he found out who her birth parents were.

With the help of her parents and the rest of the Avengers, the battle had gone smoothly. They had Kuma Lisa had waited out of sight near the opening of Hawkmoth's lair and had alerted them as soon as it had opened. With Kaalki's help, the whole team had been on-site within seconds. Hawkmoth had tried to fight back as had Mayura but he just didn't have the skill to go against the Avengers and Ladybug at the same time, especially as for the first time ever, Ladybug had not held back. The fight had been brutally one-sided from the start and within 10min of everyone arriving the fight was over. Chat Noir had been tasked with getting all the hard copies of anything Miraculous related from inside the mansion along with Bruce as they had wanted to spare Adrian from having to fight his father and they hadn't wanted to risk the hulk becoming Akuma bait. 

The fallout all over Paris with Hawkmoth gone was interesting, to say the least. The government had to hire extra psychologists to deal with everyone trying to get used to being able to show their emotions again without fear, yet not knowing how due to having to keep everything suppressed for years. It became a common sight to see adults floundering to situations that they should have normally been able to handle. The mayor had been outed as had several police officials for corruption, new people had been brought in to help and the UN had offered to help out the same way they normally would in war-torn countries in order to help Paris recover.

By the time term had ended she had been glad to get away from her classmates and go on tour with Jagged. She had taken the miracle box with her but had sent all the scrolls and books with Tony to be stored in her room at the Avengers tower. They were in one of her lock boxes for now but she knew they needed to get everything away from Paris as a precaution.

The month she spent travelling was liberating in Marinette's opinion. Sure she had checked every new area for any lost miraculi as Tikki had advised her to but she had also taken the chance to observe what worked the best design-wise for stage vs videos and even event situations. This had led to several wardrobe additions for Jagged and Penny as well as for herself when she found herself dragged on stage to either help translate what Jagged was saying or to sing with him after he caught her singing Halestorm's Amen while she was working on his next stage outfit. The first time he had pulled her on stage for a duet, it had been an instant sensation and from then on it became a regular thing for his concerts. She always insisted on a mask though, she had destroyed her Hydra records but she'd rather err on the side of caution, just in case!

Once her month with Jagged was up she'd headed to New York and met up with the Avengers and with Adrian, who had taken to living in the tower like a duck to water. She had been surprised to find that Tony had given her a whole floor, rather than just a room but apparently each of the Avengers had their own floor too so she just shrugged it off. She had jumped back into her normal training routine now that she wasn't travelling and had enjoyed those first few spars against her parents immensely. It was during one of the no-holds-barred all-out two on one spars they held every so often that Adrian had walked in and been stunned by how fast and hard they were fighting. When they had called an end to it he'd asked how much she had been holding back during their time as Ladybug and Chat Noir. His disappointment when she said that she hadn't used 90% of her skills had almost been tangible but he had understood why she'd done it after she'd explained her reasoning.

They had settled into a sort of sibling relationship soon after that as she tried to teach him moves that would work for him and he tried to learn how to cook from her. It had gotten to the stage that they were banned from the main kitchens due to the number of flour fights they'd had. Somehow they had ended up making sure they had a least one day a week set aside for anime and they had worked their way through SAO, Akagami no Shirayukihime, Seiken-Tsukai-no-World-Break and Isekai Cheat Magician within a week before they decided they needed to slow down. The only downside to watching Anime was that Marinette had picked up the language to the point she no longer needed the subtitles and he still needed them much to his disgust. Especially as she hadn't known any Japanese at all when they started.

She had been at the tower for three weeks when she met Peter Parker for the first time. She had just finished her work out and was leaving the gym area when he'd arrived and had been highly annoyed with Tony, thinking he'd adopted her like Tony kept trying to do with him. She'd laughed but hadn't corrected him and simply carried on her way. The second time they met was when she'd made breakfast for everyone as it had been her turn to do so as one of the few who could without burning down the kitchen. They'd spoke for a while this time and found they enjoyed each other's company. By the time her summer had ended they had become close friends and she was looking forward to seeing if any more would happen. She'd had to go back to Paris for the new school year but Adrian had decided to enrol in a school in NY instead of going back to Paris as he had too many bad memories there. Marinette didn't blame him at all for that.

School hadn't changed all that much when she returned for the new term. There were the same faces, the same subjects even though they had new topics within them and for the most part there were the same teachers. She hadn't held back as much as she had in previous years, blaming her time at the tower for her slightly more advanced knowledge. She was still bored though and although she had missed Tom and Sabine when she had been away from them she had looked forward to coming back to America again. Especially as things with Peter seemed to be getting more interesting.

Marinette was startled out of her memories by several of the Avengers walking into the room.  

“All good there malen'kaya oshibka?” Bucky asked. (Little bug) “Yeah, I'm alright zhuzhzhaniye.” She replied (buzz kill) “Just thinking about how crazy everything has been since you all dropped into my life.” “You wouldn't change it for the world and you know it Bug,” Adrian said even as he settled on the floor in front of her. “True,” she admitted quietly “I'm just glad I have somewhere I can be me, you know what I mean?” Adrian nodded as did most of the Avengers. “Enough with the heavy thoughts, people. It's Christmas! That means presents and getting drunk and possibly eating too much!” Tony said effectively interrupting her thought process again. Jarvis changed the song to 'December Song' and by seemingly mutual agreement the ones sitting closest to the tree started to pass round the presents that had amassed underneath it. The rest of the day was spent enjoying their time together and living in the present. They knew that should anything threaten any of them, they would face it together.

*(Kuma Lisa is a fox from Bulgarian folklore and Russian folklore who usually plays the role of the trickster. Kuma Lisa is encountered with another character known as Kumcho Vulcho - a wolf which is opposite to her and very often suffers from her tricks.)

@northernbluetongue; @liamnl; @vivilakitty

[amethystiridescence]

I debated a lot about whether to post this as I'm worried about it being misconstrued but I feel there's a lot of points that merit discussion. I'd definitely be open for people's thoughts on it.

tl;dr: society has an unhealthy deeply interwoven obsession with sex/romance as a be all and end all, and I think it's a large contributor to sexual violence against women.

Regarding the discussions that Sarah Everad’s case has reawoken, there are few voices trying to invalidate the most common argument by saying “there’s no point telling men not to rape/murder because the messed up men will do it anyway”. But this is an extreme simplification of the matter at hand. The issue lies with the perpetrators of course and NEVER the victims. But we need to explore what breeds the mentality of the perpetrators as SO many women have recounted their experiences, so it’s obvious that the problem is widespread at varying levels. The levels range from the simplest catcaller to cases like Elliot Rodger and Sarah Everad’s killer.

My belief is that a lot of the mentality surrounding the violence and aggression towards women stems from male entitlement. That phrase alone is a buzzword, and again its often used with a simple-cut phrase with “women don’t owe men anything” which is entirely true, but whilst unlearning entitlement is a step further than telling men “don’t rape”, its still not tackling the problem at its roots.

Men in our society have been exposed to lifelong conditioning through mass media and social-engineering. We are more than familiar with movies/tv series where romantic/sexual attention from a woman is often a reward/end goal for the male protagonists. Sometimes there are men pitted against each other vying for the affections of a woman like it’s a coveted prize, and it’s normalised with humorous portrayal. Or sometimes sexual/romantic interest is not a reward, it’s a given, no matter what kind of person the male character is; see any series where a conventionally unattractive/unpleasant man always keeps his devoted, conventionally attractive wife despite his obvious flaws (Peter Griffin, Homer Simpson, Fred Flintstone). Then of course there’s the normalising of not taking no for an answer and constantly persisting and being rewarded eventually for it; for example The Notebook is considered a very romantic film but the male character literally threatens to kill himself to make her agree to date him. And of course there’s very damaging concepts presented by films like the 40 Year Old Virgin, but we’ll come to the negative sex-shaming in a tick.

Luckily thanks in huge part to movements like #MeToo, the idea of consent and ‘no means no’ is being more consistently normalised in modern mass media. Netflix’s Sex Education explores this but it’s still guilty of making the female love interest the end prize goal for the male protagonist.

Now it’s not just in media that this environment of coveting sexual/romantic affection as the ultimate goal is encouraged. Its a socially-engineered thing. A lot of us are aware of the double standard in which men are revered/congratulated by their peers for being sexually/romantically popular with women whereas women are shamed, but we often don’t talk about the poisonous culture in which men who aren’t sexually/romantically active or “successful” are shamed and humiliated. How many times have we witnessed people shaming or embarrassing their mates for not having a romantic partner or ‘not getting some’ or even worse, for being a virgin? The culture surrounding virginity is disgusting, it’s both shamed and coveted. This also ties into insults surrounding size/functionality of genitalia and how men are taught that’s one of the worst kind of insult they can receive. Same goes for insults surrounding “haha you can’t get laid/get any”. Plus some men deliberately pass down this mentality and on top they encourage younger male peers/family members to “keep at it” and “don’t take no for an answer” as if teaching younger men how to ‘get women’ is an important lesson that must be passed on.

One thing that’s also alarming is that this taught drive for sexual/romantic attraction is so inbuilt that men are taught to bypass a lot of principles for the chance of it, such as lying about their interests or faking a personality to keep a woman interested. I’ve also seen men forgiven for tardiness because they ‘got lucky the night before’ (that expression itself feeds into this ‘covet/reward’ culture). Only last week I was watching a video about how women were sexually harassed with deeply unpleasant/objectifying comments online whilst doing Twitch streams and I saw a man reply “Women complain all the time about getting attention, they have no idea how lucky they are, I’d kill for a woman to desire me like that”. Men are inherently taught by both peers and media that their entire self-worth is largely determined by whether they receive romantic/sexual attention, no matter how insincere/damaging it is. Hell, even when discussions about men who’ve committed atrocities against women come up, instead of sympathising with the women who have been hurt and those whose are more scared as a result, men instead tend to lament “men like this guy ruin it for other men, they spoil my chances with other women because women assume I’m like him”. A lot of this is a large part of why incel culture is more dangerously rife than it should ever be. The mere words ‘involuntarily celibate’ are all that’s wrong with what I’m discussing.

Lets be clear, society’s inbuilt social hierarchy around sexual/romantic frequency is poisonous to everyone, especially women and the way so many shape their lives around how ‘attractive’ they’re perceived as, and of course the damage it does to the barely-fledged self esteems and images of teenage girls.

Plus both genders suffer in nearly equal ways under some lenses. People who choose to live without a romantic partner are assumed to be “unable to find love” or “unfortunately lonely” (although its worth noting the semantic sexism of bachelor vs spinster). People who are virgins beyond their teens, hell even just beyond legal age, are pitied/shamed. And people stay in abusive relationships because society's taught us that being unhappy is better than being alone. It’s impossible for people to pass through life without being subject to the social perception of how ‘successful they are in love/sex’.

But in particular with men, it’s incredibly dangerous as it destroys how men perceive themselves, teaching them that women are a given or a prize and if they don’t receive, they’re shamed. Combine that with social engineering of which in general, men are taught to express their anger/frustration with physical exertion or violence. This lays groundwork for male entitlement at its most damaging and dangerous, because not only does it wreck the mental health of men who constantly wonder why they’re not getting what the world taught them they should receive, it also sows the seeds of violent thinking in some. How many times have we as women (as is our basic right) refused the advances of men in public and they’ve responded angrily, and sometimes they’ve been laughed at by their peers as it happens. Humiliation is a degrading and powerful thing and for those who’ve been taught to react aggressively to situations, those with weaker self-esteems (thanks to a myriad of sexist reasons eg 'man up') and those with lack of proper mental health help (again, a huge male-centric problem eg;'boys don't cry'), it can lead to breeding resentment, self-loathing, sometimes suicidal tendencies but more crucially, the anger/vengeance/entitlement that resides in would-be stalkers, rapists and murderers. Elliot Rodger called his murderous rampage a “Day of Retribution” as he lamented “having been at college and still being a virgin” and said he had “no choice to exact revenge on the society that had “denied” him sex and love. He targeted a sorority whose members he had deemed the “hottest” at his college, “the kind of girls I’ve always desired but was never able to have”.

You can see I’ve been carefully trying to toe a line between not excusing the behaviour of men who treat women horribly as a result of all this and more, but also understanding the damaging conditioning in which society has woven. Teaching men “don’t rape” and “women don’t owe you anything” are basic steps, but we need to tackle issues deeper than that. We need to stop teaching everyone that being sexually/romantically desired is NOT the be all and end all of life, that being sexually/romantically desirable is not the sum of someone’s self-worth, and that there is NO shame in being without a partner or not being sexually active.

I understand that society’s obsession with sex/romance/attraction is deeply interwoven and its not going to be unlearned in a day, but can you imagine a world where teenagers are raised being told that their attractiveness/desire popularity doesn’t define their worth to others. Can you imagine a world where women don’t constantly make the majority of their concerns about how attractive people perceive them as before how kind/intelligent they’re perceived as? Can you imagine a world where people don’t feel pressured into sex as virgins, or pressured into relationships where they’re unhappy because it’s better than being alone? Where someone can be without a partner and be their own person without people assuming that its chosen solitude and not liberated independence.

I know romantic/sexual companionship is very central to how the majority of people operate. But consider this, a world where sex/romance isn’t a heavily pressurised must-do, but an opt-in and opt-out path where people can explore at their own pace and with their own limitations and boundaries without people constantly passing judgement on it. Its an idealistic idea, and seeing the way that asexuals are mistreated is another factor in just how society shames those who opt-out of sexual activity. But I believe a lot of this discussion can lead to more practical steps than saying “don’t rape”

How about;

Don’t shame anyone for being a virgin at any age.

Don’t shame anyone for not having a partner.

Don’t shame anyone for not being sexually active.

Unlearn phrases like “get lucky” and “winning the girl/heart”.

Don’t use insults aimed at size/functionality of genitalia.

Don’t insult people based on their appearance.

Just a few ideas to start undoing the entitlement culture that puts so many women in danger.

And of course, wearily I’ll state the disclaimers.

None of this behaviour discussed excuses even the most ‘harmless’ of catcalls, let alone the reprehensible behaviour of the worst offenders. I just think it’s important to understand the finer points of what breeds this consistent societally inbuilt violence and hatred against women. I really really cannot state this too much, this is not a victim-blame, women do not deserve a single infinitesimal part of anything they've gone through just because they insulted some dude's penis.

Being sexually/romantically active is never ever a bad thing of course provided it’s legal, safe and fully consensual. It just shouldn’t be the only path that people feel forced to take.

Briefly, someone might argue that its okay for me to promote that being sexually inactive is all peachy keen is hypocritical when I'm in a happy relationship, but if I was single, you could just as easily argue that I'd be trying to validate being without a partner for my own gratification.

And yes. We know. Not all men. I know plenty of people, not just men who see past a lot of the shaming and conditioning, and continue to liberate themselves from society’s warped expectations of what they should be doing with their lives. But try this, YES ALL MEN are subject to this sexual/romantic obsession that the world forces on them. When a director chooses to have a man portrayed as the butt of a joke because he’s rebuffed by a woman, he’s sending out a message to all men that some of their worth is determined on whether a woman accepts their affections. Whenever a man snidely jokes to his friends that someone he knows can’t get a woman, he teaches his friends that their lives are only validated on whether they can attain partners. Not all men may not be predatory. But all men are targeted by this conditioning. And as a result of all this, all women are afraid.

Followup: Men receiving non romantic affection is largely shamed as well and as a result its not nearly as common as it should be. Men receiving platonic affection doesn't happen nearly as much as it should, because men are taught that platonic affection is never platonic because if it comes from men it must be gay, and if it comes from women, it must come from a place of attraction. This can tie into the larger discussions already at hand regarding men's mental health and the lack of support it recieves.

[squarecarousel]

Interview with Caitlin Alexander

Well folks, we're nearly at the end of our Square Carousel journey, and there are just two interviews left – both with two of our longest-standing members! Today, we reconnect with Caitlin Alexander, who has been with the Square Carousel Collective from its very beginning almost 10 years ago. Although we've featured an interview with her here in the past, it's been so long that we are due for an update! When she's not freelancing or performing her duties as an SC admin extraordinaire, Caitlin works tirelessly on her craft, creating prints, products, hand lettered posters, and artwork that embrace the earthy beauty of nature. With a strong focus on environmentalism and a sense of community, her artwork exudes a warmth and complexity that draws the viewer in and invites them to stay a while. Read on for her gems of wisdom!

Make Earth Cool Again

Q: Comparing your early work from your first few years after college to your most recent pieces, you've kept a lot of the textural, playful essence of your style while refining certain elements. Has your process changed much since those early days, and if so, what do you now do differently? 

 A: Such a great question straight out of the gate! My process has changed quite a bit since I graduated in 2011 (almost a decade ago... yikes!). In college, part of my crafted identity as a brand-new illustrator was my traditional use of gouache paint. I actually, in all honestly, was kind of a snob about it, because so many people in our department worked solely digitally. I felt that digital painting was a crutch, which I suppose can be true in some cases, and possibly even more-so when you're applying that to college students, but I certainly had no ground to stand on. In reality, my snobbery kept me from learning critical tools, as I never took Photoshop or Illustrator classes, aside from the one that was required for graduation. This hindered my work a great deal outside of college, given that illustration is so often paired with graphic design, and editing work for clients was so much more difficult traditionally. In 2013, I got a job designing t-shirts, and lied to the company, saying I knew how to use Illustrator. Luckily it was remote, so I was able to teach myself without anyone hovering over me, but that was so foolish, looking back, given the expensive education I got at SCAD should have been my opportunity to learn those things. I introduced digital work more and more over the years, and by 2016 or so, I was primarily a digital artist. Gouache will always have a place in my heart, and I will still break out the tubes occasionally, but working digitally has allowed me to grow so much more as an illustrator, with the ability to edit, paint with more detail, and having more control over color and layering. 

Q: Of all the projects you've done in your professional career, which would you say is closest to your heart? 

 A: Probably the picture book I worked on a couple of years ago, titled "Cool For You." I had a lot of creative freedom for that project, and the subject matter of climate change is personally very important to me. Working with the author, Marianna, was really wonderful, as well. 

Cool For You book cover

Q: The Southwest influence on your work is pretty significant, and I think it's safe to assume you appreciate the majesty of the landscape in your region of the country. However, if you had to live in another state, which would you choose and why? 

 A: Funny you ask that, because I've actually considered moving from Texas to Colorado lately! The culture there is still very western, but I appreciate the liberal point of view (Texas has been grating on me lately, even living in Austin), and the landscape is even more stunning out there! I'd be close to so many inspiring National Parks. Plus, summers wouldn't be 8 months of the year and over 100 degrees for half of it! 

Travel West postcard (1 of 6)

Q: TV shows or movies? 

 A: Lately, Jordan and I have been watching New Girl on repeat. I'm not usually one to watch a show or movie over and over again, but I think we really just needed something light and fun, since life has been so very stressful over the last year.

Q: What's your favorite subject to draw? 

 A: This one is hard! I'm torn between people and landscapes. People are more fun and comfortable for me, and I could knock out a bunch of them quickly. Landscapes are always intimidating, and I'm nervous the whole time, feeling like I can't remember how I did it the time before. It's so strange, because it always ends up fine! But since I feel that way, the payoff is so much greater when I feel satisfied with the final result. 

Q: What would a perfect day look like for you? A: I probably would have answered this totally differently pre-COVID, but in this current world we live in, I would absolutely love to have what used to be a normal, uneventful weekend day for me: Jordan and I would sleep in a little, see an early afternoon movie at the Alamo Drafthouse where we'd eat lunch, then spend the rest of the afternoon browsing used book stores and estate sales, and then meet our friends at the neighborhood coffeehouse for dinner and Trivia Night. I will be so happy to have that again. 

Cover art for East Side Magazine

Book Lover Ladies series- The Book Clubbers

Q: What have you learned from your years at Square Carousel, whether organizing behind the scenes or as a contributor? 

 A: Oooof!! So SO many things! Wow... well, I'll go with the most obvious first: as a member, I learned how to continue to make portfolio-worthy work, even without jobs coming in. That was definitely the most valuable thing about Square Carousel, in my opinion, and hopefully what everyone else got out of it, as well. It can be so hard for fresh graduates to keep up that momentum, and the group saved many of us from becoming stagnant. In terms of running the group... it's been rewarding, but honestly very difficult throughout the years. There have been many ups and downs, and finding the right balance between structure and patience can be extremely challenging. I'm super proud of Elizabeth and myself (OG members!) for keeping it running through the messes-- we've been through some shit together! My major takeaway is the importance of diligence. Projects, businesses, organizations-- they all need at least a couple of people who just keep chugging along, always maintaining the structure (schedule and accountability) and balance (rules and lighthearted encouragement). 

Moth magnets

Q: As the readers are aware, Square Carousel drawing to a close soon. Do you have any plans for what you'll do with the extra time you'll have after our tri-weekly challenges end? 

 A: You know, I actually haven't thought about this too much yet. It's probably because I'll just fill it with more self-imposed projects and deadlines, since I was able to bring that skill I learned in Square Carousel into the rest of my career a while ago. (Or more real jobs! That would be ideal!) I'll miss the community though, and hope to find a way to keep that aspect of freelance life alive. Instagram friends, anyone? 

Q: What's your quirkiest habit? 

 A: Jordan told me recently that he found it weird and endearing that I joke-sing to my cats in the kitchen about really stupid stuff... so probably that! Official Cat Lady© status achieved.

Caitlin and Buster Keaton the Kitten

Q: What advice would you give to a newbie illustrator just starting out today? 

 A: I'd give them the hard advice that our professors didn't really give us in school: there is no way this is going to work out for you if you're not incredibly committed to pursuing it. Now, don't get me wrong-- I'm not telling anyone to have an unhealthy work/life balance because I think that's a toxic sentiment. But you have to keep illustrating and illustrating and illustrating, and arguably more importantly, keep networking and networking and networking. You're going to be rejected or ghosted more often than not, but if you really want it to work out, you're going to keep doing it anyway. And taking critiques if industry folks offer them, to grow and become better. Don't become stagnant in those critical building years.

Caitlin’s studio

Q: Anything else you would like the readers to know? 

A: Yes – thank you so much for supporting Square Carousel through our amazing ten years of challenges! We really appreciate everyone who has kept up with us, checking out the illustrations for each prompt and reading our posts and interviews. Y'all are wonderful, and we hope you'll continue to find us, wherever each of us fly from here! And on that sweet note, we say goodbye for now! Check out Caitlin’s website for more, and follow her on Instagram for new art when it drops.

Join us next time for our final interview!

[umbry-fic]

To you, with love (2)

Summary: Mother's Day is a difficult day for all of them, and one that they each choose to spend differently.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters: Lloyd Irving, Colette Brunel Relationships: Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving, Lloyd Irving & Anna Irving Rating: G Chapter: 2 of 3 Word Count: 6325 Mirror Link: AO3 Original Post Date: 09/05/2021

Notes: This chapter covers Lloyd and Colette. I haven't written the third one yet. Hopefully someday!

Previous chapter

~~~

Blue. Blue was the only colour in his vision. Everything was blue. The paper, the desk, his hands -

Alright, it was official. He’d been staring at the blue paper sitting on his table for too long. Lloyd groaned, hiding his face in the crook of his elbow and nearly knocking his pencil off the table. He needed to look away and do something else before he drove himself completely insane.

The only upside was that the shade of blue was close to the colour of Colette's eyes. He could almost imagine he was staring into her eyes...

The piece of blue paper was just as mockingly empty as it had been when Genis had handed it over. Lloyd could almost see the imaginary words meant to fill it up but which could not be found, forming utter gibberish in his head. He had half a mind to just start stabbing holes in the paper with his pencil with all the pent-up energy in his hands, but that felt like a waste of perfectly good paper. Perhaps a paper aeroplane would work? Those were fun to watch fly through the air, though his aim was abysmal. The last time he’d thrown one, it had flown straight into Professor Raine’s face and landed him in detention. Maybe he could ask Colette to throw it out of the window of his house the next time she came over…?

“What do you think we should do with these?” Colette asked, tapping him on the shoulder with her pencil. Her head had been turning between her assignment and the other sheet of blue paper on her desk, deliberating what to attend to.

Lloyd sighed, rolling his pencil from side to side with a finger. “I don’t know. Genis just gave the extra paper to us without any further explanation.” Sneaking a peek at Genis showed that he was engrossed in writing his note, occasionally erasing full sentences with hard rubs of his eraser before slashing more words across the paper. Genis was doing something important and was not to be disrupted. As for the two of them... That was a completely different story.

“It’s not like we have anything to write…” Colette muttered, resting her chin on her palm and staring off into the distance.

Lloyd was still a little worried over what Colette had said minutes before. The same smile as always was on her face, but it was missing… something. He couldn’t put his finger on what exactly was different, only that it was missing the essence that brightened her surroundings and could warm his heart without fail.

Mother’s Day was a sore spot for both of them, but more so for her. Every year, she would spend the day with him by his mother’s grave, silently watching him tell his mother… whatever he felt like saying. It wasn’t exactly a special occasion for him, just a day like any other where he might choose to visit his mother’s grave and tell her about his day. He'd wish her a happy Mother's Day, maybe plant a few more flowers, but nothing more than that. What point was there to writing a card or getting a gift when he could only place it by his mother's grave and watch the weather wear away at it until nothing was left?

Colette couldn’t even do something as simple as visit her mother, let alone send her a message… He wanted to help her, somehow, but what could he do? He didn’t control the Church’s customs. He certainly couldn’t bend them. If Colette as the Chosen was helpless, what power did he hold, as someone who wasn’t even raised under the Church of Martel?

He hated it, being powerless to do anything for Colette. She never spoke about how she felt, either, refusing to spoil the day for him, instead locking it all away. He wanted to return that cheer to her, wanted to banish her melancholy… But his mind was empty, devoid of any solutions to this complex problem. As it always was. He wasn't known for problem-solving, only for the creation of new problems.

Wait, no! There was something he could suggest they do, an idea finally coming to him after racking his brain hard. Now his head hurt, but it would all be worth it if he could help Colette.

“How about we write a note to our mothers as well?”

“Us?” Colette’s attention snapped back to him, her gaze focused again instead of drifting a thousand miles away. “But how would we ever deliver it?”

“Leave that part to me. I’ll tell you more later.” He grinned, leaning closer. This could work! This could actually work, and cheer Colette up... “Trust me?”

“Alright.” Colette nodded without any hint of resistance. She trusted Lloyd completely. If he said he could do it, he would. “Now to just get to writing?”

“Right…” Lloyd groaned, leaning back in his chair and picking up his abandoned pencil, not willing to press it to paper just yet, the blue once again sucking him in as he stared down at the paper. He’d forgotten that he actually had to write something first, his mind skipping over that step completely in his hurry to conceptualise the delivery method. He was already dreading how this was going to go. He was terrible at writing the essays Professor Raine asked for, mixing up words, screwing up grammar and writing with the worst vocabulary known to mankind. And those were in response to simple scenarios like “Timmy went into the forest”, not the complex question of what he even wanted to tell his mother, given how little he knew and how much he yearned to know. This was going to be horrible…

“It doesn’t need to be some eloquent masterpiece, Lloyd,” Colette encouraged, having picked up on his hesitance, as she always did. She patted his shoulder with a comforting hand. “Just write from the heart! I believe in you.”

There were so many things he wanted to tell his mother: a thank you for saving him, appreciation for bringing him into this world, questions about what kind of person she was, what she liked, whether… whether or not she was proud of him. Those were the questions that always simmered in the back of his mind but were occasionally brought to the forefront, especially when he was reminded of the untimely death of his mother. The desire to get any concrete answer burned whenever those questions presented themselves, enough to choke him sometimes with its surprising intensity.

And of course, that final question he didn’t know if he had the courage to voice. What was his father like, and… was he still alive?

But there would be no letter if he didn’t start. So it was time to get to it, as Colette had said.

To write from the heart…

~~~

“Hi, Lloyd!” Colette waved cheerily. Her shoes sank into the grass before his house, making little crinkling sounds as she ran closer. Gripped tightly in her other hand was her Mother’s Day card, folded into a neat and tiny square, as well as the stems of a few pink carnations, their sweet scent suffusing the air around her. The flowers must have been freshly-picked from her grandmother’s garden.

“Do you have everything on you?” He asked, grabbing her free hand and beginning to tug Colette towards the tiny stream that ran by his home. In his pockets were the materials he’d need: the card he’d touched up in his free time, and a few sprigs of herbs, namely rosemary and lavender, plucked from where he grew them by his bedside window and which Dad sprinkled liberally into the stew he made. Slotted under his arm was the pan that he’d whittled out of wood over the week, a little rudimentary with its elliptical shape and rough surface, but good enough to serve its purpose.

“Yep!” Colette waved her card in his face, the words hidden by the folds she had made, the petals of the carnations tickling his nose and making him sneeze. “I brought enough flowers for the both of us. Grandma told me that pink carnations represent a mother’s love, so I thought they were perfect!”

They'd both decided on flowers as a separate gift. Most people bought a bouquet of flowers as a Mother's Day gift. It was a perfectly fine gift, especially since neither of them knew their mothers' likes and dislikes. And it was as he told Genis. His only fuzzy memory of his mother was giving her a handful of wildflowers, freshly picked from the fields. His mother's breezy laughter was all he could recall, and the ghost of a warm smile, lost to time.

“Thanks! Pink carnations... Have you heard the story behind them before?”

Lloyd didn't remember who he'd first heard it from. A story of a mother and two children trying to escape from the wrath of a group of Desians, but who couldn't run fast enough to ditch their pursuers. The mother had asked her children to run, as fast and as far away as they could. She alone had stayed behind to lead the Desians astray for as long as humanly possible. Eventually, she'd been caught, but even under threat of torture and with a sword at her throat, she had refused to divulge the location of her children. Her blood stained the carnations at her feet, turning them forever pink. And that was how pink carnations were born.

It wasn't exactly a kids’ story to be told at bedtime. It was one of those popular stories spread around school a few years back, he didn't know what for. Scaring people?

He knew it was a story that had been passed down for hundreds of years, perhaps longer. According to Dad, however, some elements just didn't add up. The location being a fantastical forest that, as far as he knew, didn’t exist in Sylvarant, the children somehow being able to use magic to help them get away when the mother was powerless… All stories had an element of truth, but this one had its truth buried under millennia of hearsay, the original words mangled, perhaps beyond recognition, by the passage of time. What was the true form of this story, and what was its purpose?

"Yeah. That story… It's really tragic, but… I guess that's just how far a mother would be willing to go. Like yours…" Colette muttered, gaze drifting to the floor.

"Oh!” She cried out seconds later, realising that what she’d said had been insensitive and could have wounded Lloyd. That was the last thing she wanted. Her gaze snapped back up to his, voice frantically leaving her throat and filled with worry. “Oh no, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said that -"

“It’s fine, Colette. It’s the truth.” The past could not be altered, no matter how much he wished that he could see a different present, one where his parents were alive and well. If that came to be, however, where would he be now? His life would have taken a far different path. Would he have ever met the people who had become his closest friends, the ones who he trusted with everything? Would he have met Dirk, who had provided him not just a roof over his head and food on a plate, but had given him a loving home and taught him everything he knew now?

He would not wish his life any different, for that would mean forfeiting the blessings he’d received despite the bumpy start. Living a happy life did not mean burying his past or forgetting the tragedy that had occurred, but rather, was the best way to honour his mother. That was what Dad said as well, along the same vein as Colette’s words yesterday. All any mother wanted was to see their child grow up happy.

“All I can do is honour that by continuing to live,” he finished, hoping he was on the right track.

“Oh, that’s good. I still shouldn’t have said it though...” Colette muttered with regret, squeezing his hand.

Colette, strangely enough, seemed to have some sort of obsession with his mother’s sacrifice, blurting out a random question once in a blue moon before immediately retracting with awkward apologies. There was no malicious intent there that he could detect, just a frenetic desire for something that he didn’t understand, so he didn’t really mind.

He wondered why, though. What could be so interesting? It wasn’t altogether that foreign of a scenario. Perhaps it was in Iselia, but not across the whole wide world.

“Come on, forget about it,” Lloyd insisted, coming to a stop on the bank of the stream. The clear stream water, a little higher than usual due to last night’s rain, rushed merrily by with a faint gurgling sound mere centimetres from his feet. He’d have to take care not to get too close, and to remind Colette to do the same. He wanted to avoid either of them slipping in the mud and falling in. Controlled swims in the river were fun. Not uncontrolled dives into the water. He didn't want Colette catching a cold, either... “We’ve arrived by the river!”

“So, what does the river have to do with anything? You never explained any further after class!” Colette asked, cocking her heads. The heads of the carnations drooped towards the grass, the stems beginning to bend in her hands.

“Well,” Lloyd said, retrieving the wooden pan and placing it onto the grass (at a safe distance from the mud, where it would no doubt slide into the river and never be seen again, even if that was the point) and rummaging through his pockets for his card. Feeling the familiar, smooth sensation of paper under his fingers, he pulled out what he thought was his note, only to find himself faced with the designs for Colette’s birthday present that he’d doodled in class, looping curves forming the basis of the pendant he’d decided upon.

He hurriedly stuffed that back in. He would not be spoiling the surprise. Back to searching.

“Dwarves have their own set of beliefs, you know?” Lloyd continued, starting what he knew might be a lengthy explanation. He hoped he could remember everything Dad had said; it would be kinda disrespectful to get things wrong. Oh well, nothing much he could do in that case. “Could you set the flowers and your card on the pan?”

Colette hummed in agreement, doing as he directed. Lloyd, having finally found his folded-up card in the labyrinth of his too many pockets, placed it on the pan as well. Thankfully, it had somehow been saved from the fate of being crumpled. Not like his last assignment, which he’d somehow shredded in the workshop… At least it hadn't been eaten by Noishe.

In the end, he’d given his mother a detailed account of the interesting happenings of the past year and wished her a happy Mother's Day, as he would have in the past, sitting by her grave. But he'd also written down all the questions he wanted to ask, and expressed the message that he was doing well, as well as the hope that she was too.

He wondered if, one day, he would actually get to learn more about his mother.

“You’ve mentioned in passing that dwarves worship the Earth summon spirit. Gnome, I think his name was?” Colette let out a little huff of laughter, squatting down next to him to watch him arrange everything on the pan and making minor adjustments herself. She didn’t need to ask him for permission to do so. He trusted her. “If Genis were here, he’d have murdered us already. Pair of idiots,” she mimicked his mocking tone, making a silly face, “as he would say.”

“He’s not here, so it doesn’t matter how many names we forget. Seriously, what is the purpose of remembering so many if we’re never gonna meet the face behind them, anyway? I don’t have that much space in my head like that genius has,” Lloyd grumbled, doing the finishing touches. It looked good, the cards sitting in the centre with the flowers lying together at the top, the herbs completing the picture at the bottom. Aesthe... Aesthetic... Aesthetically pleasing? That was the right word that Genis would use, probably...

“It’s fun to listen to the various stories! They’re so interesting! I also think it’s important to know that history, but…” Colette sighed. “I agree. It’s really hard to remember everything, it makes my head hurt. So, what about Gnome?”

“Dad said that underground, all rivers lead to the centre of the Earth, where Gnome is said to reside.” That always created quite a funny image, since Gnome was said to take the form of a giant mole. Lloyd had never seen a mole before. He didn't know what they looked like, so he couldn’t help but substitute the mole for Noishe. So whenever Dad told that story, all he could visualise was an even more gigantic Noishe, sitting in the middle of a sphere. He couldn’t help but crack up, and Dad would give him a funny look every time, not able to glean what went on in his head. “It’s tradition to send offerings or messages down the river so that it reaches Gnome. Instead of conducting a burial as we do here, bodies are also sent down the river.”

“And Gnome as the guardian deity helps to deliver the messages? Much like the Goddess Martel will hear our prayers and answer in some way, or send the offerings we leave at the church to those who have passed.”

“Yes! That’s it! And the herbs are an offering to Gnome. Apparently, he likes to feast on them?” Lloyd replied. "Don't understand why anyone would chew on herbs alone..." Dad had described the experience before - an entire community would gather by the river to send off their blessings, the subterranean caverns lit by luminous moss and the torches set in their sconces on the walls, the ceiling reflecting the river, shining the ceiling in a pale green, wavering light. Afterwards, a festival would be held, where everyone could eat and drink to their heart's content, for the dead would wish for the living's happiness and the living should celebrate. It sounded like a beautiful experience. Maybe one day, he and Colette could witness such a sight too...

Lloyd was, more than anything, relieved to know that Colette understood. As the Chosen, she should have been the one at the forefront of upholding the almighty nature of the Church of Martel, having that duty entrusted to her, but… She had never condemned him, or tried to convert him. In fact, she was the complete opposite. She never shied away from hearing about Dad’s religion from him, always with an inquisitive shine in her eyes.

As for him… He was torn between the two. Dad hadn’t forced his religion upon him or anything. Neither had he been raised under the teachings of the Church of Martel like Colette or even Genis had. But if Colette was the Chosen… then surely the Goddess must exist for the journey she was to undertake to have purpose. That was as far as his beliefs went. He didn’t know the scriptures or the prayers. Didn't have space in his head for that, or the patience to learn them. Honestly, he probably knew more about Dwarven religion than the Church of Martel. Where did that leave him?

“I know you’re not allowed into the sanctum, so I thought we could do this instead. We’re aboveground, so I know it’s not really the same… Sorry if it’s just a stupid idea.” That was all he was good for, after all. Pranks and shenanigans. He wasn’t insightful. Or smart. Or… thoughtful.

“No, Lloyd, it’s perfect,” Colette whispered, placing her hand atop his comfortingly, those gentle eyes fixed on his, calming him down. “I love it. Let’s send it off, shall we?”

“Alright.”

Together, their hands side-by-side, they pushed the pan down the bank. It slid down the mud and onto the river, where it wobbled from side to side, causing Lloyd’s heart to leap into his throat as he lunged forward to save everything on it from a watery grave - only for the pan to stabilise seconds later, the water lapping peacefully at its sides. That was a close one.

Unfortunately, he’d forgotten about the slippery mud and stepped too far, one foot landing in the mud - only for it to send him sliding forward, straight towards the river.

“Oh!” Colette cried, coming to his rescue and pushing him forcefully in the opposite direction so he landed on his back on the grass with a painful thud. At least it wasn’t face-first into the river.

“Thanks for the save,” he muttered, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head, pain blossoming out from where it’d come in contact with the dirt. The fall had been somewhat cushioned by the soft layer of grass that covered the dirt, but his skin was still going to bruise. “Are you hurt?”

“No! I’m perfectly fine. Not a single scratch on my hands.” Colette, whose momentum had landed her on her knees in the grass as well, slowly crawled closer. “You’ve saved me from falling so many times, so I’m just returning the favour! Though you’ve fallen a lot these past few days… Oh no, did I transfer my horrible luck to you?” Colette gasped, shifting her face incredibly close to his in concern, her nose nearly brushing his.

Lloyd leaned back immediately, heart racing at a thousand miles an hour. This close, he could make out everything - the flecks of darker blue scattered throughout her irises, like tiny oceans scattered across a light blue sky, three in the left and six in the right as he'd memorised a long time ago; the small black circles that were her pupils; his own face reflected in her eyes, looking like a deer that'd been caught in the middle of a spotlight. Her eyes almost seemed to draw him in; he could spend the next eternity just looking into them, losing himself in the blue pools...

No! Now was not the time! Lloyd shook his head to break himself out of his trance, turning his head rapidly to the side so he didn't have to look into her eyes anymore. Don’t blush, don’t blush, don’t blush… He repeated in his head like a mantra. Would it be effective?

“Probably not.” He stood up, brushing blades of grass off the back of his legs, thankful for the extra distance it put between him and Colette. He’d barely saved himself from turning into a stuttering mess, knocked completely off-kilter by her proximity. Not that that would clue Colette off. She seemed utterly oblivious to all but the most obvious of cues. “I’ve just been a little clumsy recently, that’s all. And your luck is not horrible.”

Lloyd gave an internal sigh of relief for escaping detection once again, scanning the river for the pan. He spotted it some distance away, being pushed along by the current. It was already nearing the bend in the river. Once it passed that bend, it would be obscured by the thick greenery of the forest, whose trees began to sprout out of the ground at that point.

“Over there. See?” He pointed the pan out as Colette stood. It was getting smaller and smaller… “It’s leaving.”

Her fingertips brushed his, an unvoiced invite to hold her hand that he obliged, interlocking his fingers with hers, their palms pressed firmly against each other.

“I hope it reaches them, somehow,” Colette whispered, the words brought by the wind to rest against his heart.

If he was being honest, this was nothing but a foolish dream held by two children at the cusp of becoming adults, where such dreams melted into ashes and were washed away by cynicism. But... it was one he wished could be granted, either way.

“I hope so too.”

~~~

It was peaceful here, every year without fail, sitting before Lloyd’s mother’s grave. The clearing was visible from the path leading up to Dirk’s house, but hardly anyone ever came here unless they needed the dwarf’s services, and those were few and far between. Most of the time, customers appeared right before winter, to hire Dirk to repair any holes and shore up the walls before the cold arrived. The path was barely travelled by anyone, maintained only by Dirk and Lloyd and slightly overgrown. Right now, it was deserted, leaving Lloyd and Colette alone in each other’s company.

The clearing itself was calming, and held its own strange beauty. Anna’s grave was erected in the centre, the words on it having been masterfully carved by Dirk over a decade ago and still easily legible, even after the slow passage of time. A thin layer of moss grew over the top, a result of years of rain and sunshine. Surrounding the grave was a circle of flowers that Lloyd had planted with careful hands to keep his mother company: ranging from daisies to peonies, creating a rainbow whose heads swayed in the wind and kept expanding with each year that passed and each seed Lloyd nurtured with gentle hands. Sunlight filtered through the branches and leaves of the trees that rose into the sky some distance away, forming golden squares that danced across the grass.

They were resting side-by-side on the stools Lloyd had left out here since… forever ago, to give him a comfortable place to sit whenever he came to talk to his mother. The rain from last night had left a little puddle on the seats, which Lloyd had helped tip off onto the grass before inviting her to sit.

Colette rested her hands on her lap, watching the ants by her feet traverse the ground, avoiding the stagnant pools of water in their neverending journey. Lloyd was silent, having clearly said all that he wanted to in his card, and was content to just enjoy the peace.

She was grateful that he hadn’t asked what she’d written, in the same manner she’d respected his privacy. The contents of her letter were… complicated. She loved her mother, but... At the end of the day, she would have to die. What could she tell her mother, then? Even if her mother were still alive, she would one day have to see her daughter walk willingly to her death. Was there anything more difficult for a mother to bear, that a mother would do everything to prevent? Nothing she said would ever take away that pain.

The letter was also a good place to vent. After all, no one alive would ever read it. Even if it did reach her mother, she wouldn’t get a return message. That was a foolish hope that could not be granted, for the Goddess had more important things to do than listen to the selfish request of a little girl.

She had drawn a self-portrait, despite her absolute hatred of doing so. She couldn’t even look into a mirror without that sense of hopelessness bubbling to the surface, attempting to destroy her resolve to go through with everything that was necessary. The only thing that had guided her trembling hands across the paper to do a decent job was the desire to let her mother know just what she looked like. Every mother deserved to know what their child looked like.

Once again, sitting here in the safety of Lloyd’s company, she couldn’t help but feel the ugly flames of envy, licking at the walls of her heart.

Her mother was buried in the inner sanctum of Iselia’s Church of Martel. Every church across Sylvarant had such a room, the grandest, most imposing and lavishly decorated, comparable to none except the prayer hall. It wasn’t decked out in pews, however, but instead with graves, reserved only for the Mana Lineage and… what grisly remains the clergy could find of the Chosens who’d failed to reach the Tower of Salvation. For those who’d been cleanly wiped off the face of Sylvarant, a commemorative grave was erected, the insides utterly empty. Colette had nightmares, sometimes, about being trapped there, alone and unable to breath, the darkness closing in on her as the clergy buried her alive. Just another nightmare from the wide menagerie that haunted her.

The inner sanctum was not to be visited by random strangers, only fellow members of the Mana Lineage, and only on select days where the Goddess’ blessing was strongest, in order to preserve its sanctity. How those days had been decided on, Colette didn’t know. They didn’t feel any different to any other day in the year. But those were the rules, and she was not to question them. Mother’s Day wasn’t one of those special days, so she couldn’t bring offerings on the one day of the year that specially commemorated mothers.

Wasn’t it lonely? No matter how beautiful the inner sanctum was, with its stained glass windows that turned the filtered light into a rainbow of colours, and the chandeliers cut from crystals that reflected the sunlight; it was a cold sort of beauty, enough to make her shiver and feel out of place every time she entered. She was tiny in comparison to her mother’s grave, the headstone in the wall polished and spotless, reflecting her own pale face back at her. There were no impurities or mistakes to be found. It was nothing like the common graveyard right outside the church, which family members of the deceased frequented, bringing gifts and offerings, telling tales of the lives that had been passed while their loved one was absent.

It was nothing like this clearing, so full of life breathed into it by a loving son. Sometimes, she swore she could feel the love of a mother long passed, wrapped around her like a warm blanket, capable of keeping even the most biting chill away. Lloyd must have been able to feel it too, being able to visit anytime, whenever the desire presented itself. Quick and easy, without traditions and regulations holding him back.

It was horrible to feel this way, yet another ugly emotion that she shouldn’t let herself experience. She was meant to be magnanimous and compassionate, with no space in her heart for envy.

Some days she wished she had never been born the Chosen, that her mother had never been part of the Mana Lineage. She didn’t want to be different, didn’t want the “honour” of having an ornate burial ground or special treatment. She just wanted to be able to visit her mother’s grave and tell her mother the most mundane of things: how her day went, the friends she’d made, the dreams she held, the life she would never get to live.

Maybe if she’d never been her mother’s daughter, her mother would still be alive today, smiling and laughing and blessing the world with that beauty Father said she possessed…

“Do you think our mothers can see us, down here?” She asked, leaning her head on Lloyd’s shoulder, wanting to forget the thoughts that swirled in her head like a tornado, overpowering all else in its path. The only thing that could possibly be stronger was Lloyd's comforting warmth, seeping slowly through her from their point of contact. That was a slightly risky move on her part, but they were close enough for her to be confident she wouldn’t accidentally send them both toppling to the ground. She wasn't that clumsy.

“Why not?” Lloyd answered, placing an arm around her shoulder. “Dad believes that the spirits of those who have passed go back into the earth. They form the very dirt beneath our feet, helping to support new life. Wouldn’t they be able to see everything we do, then? And what do you mean, down here?”

“Oh, that’s a really interesting belief!” She really needed to have further discussions with Lloyd about religion. They were always so fun! The Church so often preached that Martel was the only Goddess and believing otherwise was heresy, but she didn’t really believe that. There were so many different groups of people throughout history that had held their own beliefs. They must have believed with all of their heart that their religion was the one true religion.

Lloyd wasn’t raised as a believer. He wasn’t the smartest person, just like her, but he wasn’t irrational. And he would always be her friend, no matter what he believed.

She wanted to keep an open mind - pushing people away just because they held their own set of beliefs sounded like the exact opposite of being accepting.

“Well, the Church of Martel says that everyone who believes in the Goddess will ascend to heaven and become an angel when they die. That’s what I meant.”

“Heaven, huh? Is that in the sky?” Lloyd pointed upwards, towards the cloudless azure sky, the sun winking down at them.

Colette couldn’t help but break out into laughter at that. A ridiculous statement, but one that she’d expect out of Lloyd’s mouth. “I don’t think it’s supposed to be in the sky, but sure! Why not?”

“Well, then your mother should be able to see you. If you’re so high up and you can fly around as an angel, surely you can see everything across the whole world, right? Your mother must be so proud of you.”

“Ah… Really? I’m not smart like Genis or sensible like Professor Raine. I’m not good with my hands like you… I’m just an average girl. What is there to be proud of?”

“Did you forget you’re the Chosen, Colette? You’ll save us all from the Desians someday. That’s plenty to be proud of!”

Her hands clenched into fists as she bit her lip. If all her worth came from being the Chosen… Would her mother still be proud of her, then, when she sometimes wondered what it would be like if that duty wasn’t hers to carry? She was nothing more than a child who wished to shirk her all-important duty, unworthy of the praise everyone showered upon her. She didn’t deserve anything…

How hard it must be for her mother. Once again, Colette could do nothing but make things worse.

“Besides, you’re not average. You’re really kind, and understanding -”

It’s kind of Lloyd, to see good in everything, even her. But she didn’t think those qualities were particularly outstanding. That was just how everyone should be, right?

“ -and you draw really well -”

A blatant lie. It was nice of Lloyd to be so encouraging…

“ -and you’re so pretty…”

Eh?

She shifted away from Lloyd, hands clasped atop her chest as her cheeks warmed. Had she heard right? “What - what did you just say?”

“Ah -” Lloyd blanked, his arm falling uselessly back to his side. He stared at her in silence for a few seconds as his brain caught up to his mouth, which had been running on auto-pilot. An expression of utter horror overtook his face as he shook his head frantically. “I didn’t say anything! At all! Just pretend the last minute never happened!”

“I -” She tried her best to calm her racing heart, taking deep breath after deep breath. It was nothing more than a stray compliment that Lloyd was feeling a little awkward over. That was all. There was nothing more to be found there, nothing to read into. Just Lloyd being his nice self, as usual. “I, uh… Thank you?” But it was common courtesy to show gratitude, as her father had taught her.

“I meant it…” Lloyd muttered, leaning back slightly. He was staring at a single blade of grass with enough intensity to possibly set it on fire, face slowly flushing red.

“Ahem,” Lloyd coughed, refusing to meet her gaze. “To get back on topic, if your mother has become an angel, then won’t you see her again someday? Your actual father is also an angel, isn’t he? So that would make sense…”

“I guess so!” Colette said, purposely trying to inject cheer into her voice. “My job is to become an angel, after all!” Lloyd didn’t know the true meaning behind his words. She would see her mother again, for she herself would soon go to heaven… Would she qualify, she wondered?

It’s not like she even wanted to go… It was said to be an eternal paradise, but how could any place without her friends be that incredible? She couldn’t imagine it. No matter how serene, no matter how fluffy the clouds or how endless the fun, how could it be anything but devoid of soul when she could never know Genis’ wit again, never know Raine’s harsh but fair judgement again, never know Lloyd’s boundless loyalty and his smile again?

“This has been nice. Thank you so much for the great idea, Lloyd! I would have never thought to do this if it wasn't for you,” she said, cocking her head and smiling, hair falling down the side of her arm. Was Lloyd stealing glances at her, or was she imagining it? A bit hard to imagine the way his head kept see-sawing between the grass and her face... But why...?

“Yeah!” Lloyd replied eagerly. “Shall we do the same next year? I’m sure there’ll be a lot more things we’ll want to tell our mothers then.”

Next year… Would she even still be here, next year?

She didn’t want to get Lloyd’s hopes up, not when they could be easily shattered in nothing but seconds. She couldn’t make any promises, for she would no doubt have to break them, but…

Colette took Lloyd’s hand, praying with all her heart that she would see another year, and maybe another after that.

“I’d like that.”

[blaster-aichi]

Cardfight!! Vanguard Extra Story IF 16 things

forgot to post this, heck

Fanguard’s dream of actual hobo Kai-kun sleeping on Bench-chan is finally realized

There’s a lot of Kamui and Shin instinctively having feelings true to the true reality and mismatched to IF’s world. There’s two possibilities for this: a) Aichi did a really shitty job nailing down everything due to his concentration being focused primarily on Kai-kun b) the rupture from the illusion around Kai-kun unravelling tore into the IF world as a whole and it’s unable to entirely maintain its story, allowing for instances like Morikawa recalling Kai-kun’s line from Reboot’s first episode or Kamui and Shin recognizing Kagero as a clan expected of him.

The Kamui/Morikawa interactions were really cute, it’s nice to see them butting heads and just being rambunctious kids

Izaki sank the Miyaji Kai-kun theory, curious what he’s like at school in this form.

The ferocity of his original memories invading and scaring him having a lasting impact and making him afraid to play again even a couple/few days later is both fascinating and gutwrenching.

Honestly very surprised that Shin would reprimand anyone for being loud, particularly when that’s Misaki’s thing and where are you hiding her?

The softer he is, the more heartbreaking his situation is in the grand scheme of things, even if he’s come to terms with it. How dare you, Bushi.

IF 15: [roasts himself]. IF 16: [literally roasts a nerd]

Love and hate how the opportunity to elaborate and delve into Kai-kun’s relationship with Dragonic Overlord is taken advantage of because why not just stab me instead? It’s a nice insight into a facet of his time away from Hitsue that was never truly touched on in either version prior.

Emi and Shingo become Fanguard.

Right eye sighted. But being it’s Shingo's recollection of Aichi, not yet willing to buy that it’s completely normal with the fact that, beyond this and his encountering Shuka, it’s remained hidden — the purpose of the shot itself was to establish Shingo isn’t remembering things correctly, so there’s no reason to believe that he’s aware of anything that might be different about it.     — This could be reflected in how Aichi keeps his distance from the others, holed up in his private quarters and suffering with only Kourin seeming to be anywhere near him during such times. It’s reminiscent of Legion Mate, both in his trying to shoulder everything alone/hide the agony he’s going through and Kourin’s close proximity, standing as his right hand in a manner that no-one else fills.    — Also to go with the Legion Mate topic, in this moment, IF Aichi gives off VoidAichi vibes. Despite how broken up it’s apparent he would and should be to exile himself (see V epi 21 and the flashback to him watching the others in Card Capital from Legion Mate), he shows no emotion, but rather seems completely numbed. Also probably looking waaaay too far into it, but 2/2 times when his face has been completely obscured, there’s been a stylistic choice beneath his eyes that is typical of exhaustion/strain/fatigue and it keeps worrying me.

IF 17

The preview gives the impression that this episode is about to be a turning point; that with Naoki and Shingo both having some understanding that things aren’t quite right, their loyalty to Aichi might start to wane.

Naoki’s going out in his Miyaji school uniform has alarm bells ringing, personally, for reasons elaborated below.

Never knew that needed Kai-kun working a part-time job in my life but boy is it a need now.

Here for Mamoru reigniting his fandom for Kai-kun. Very here for it.

IF vs. V 21

As a first note, Kai-kun being the one to separation between Aichi and his deck against their IF selves has a nice touch of irony to it. Calling back to it would be a powerful way of drawing on their positions in relation to the scene.

Considering just how badly Aichi freaked out over the idea of giving up his Royal Paladin deck and what it would force unto him, there’s little reason to suspect anything that’s happening in IF is really of his own free will.   — It’s been brought up that, without the two meeting as kids, Aichi shouldn’t really have much knowhow about Vanguard, much less a relationship to it. Considering Kai-kun remained a Hitsue student, it’s an easy assumption to make that Aichi’s education followed the same pattern (though his reasoning for returning to Miyaji remains a mystery, with his lacking the confidence that his original reality/Outside World self had); his exposure to the game might come through his time in Middle School, but it’s a loose and distant connection at best. IF World Aichi, without knowledge of Outside World (if they are two separate versions), would have no reason to target Vanguard over anything else.

As Void and Star-Vaders aren’t a facet of the Reboot continuity, a theory that had in mind for a while is that a remnant of Brandt may have seized the moment when Aichi was Deleted and been festering away in the same manner as the Link Joker Seed. A previous post detailed the mindfuckery involved to break Aichi enough that he would turn on the game, particularly given how fearful he was of relinquishing it and the isolation it would return him to — the very circumstances he’s imposed upon himself (but far worse, in exiling himself from the real world). Though he’s a selfless boy and Kai-kun means an enormous amount to him, it simply doesn’t make sense that he would willingly go down this road.

Rather he’s mind has been twisted so much to believe in what he’s now doing or he’s being controlled by something of Brandt (as we’d never confirmation it was no longer a threat), if not some other force (though to introduce a new one at this stage in both the franchise and the reboot continuity with OverDress around the corner would be a peculiar choice).

Couple of theory things, feat. one really out there idea:

Naoki:

Naoki’s actions in the preview might be glimpses of him starting to break away from Aichi’s will; not with malicious intent, but rather the opposite.

The line of thinking goes as so: as he and Shingo come to realize their memories have been tampered with, Naoki seeks out Emi and Shuka, obtaining Blaster Blade with the intent of returning to the point in time where Aichi should have received it. Among the screencaps Bushiroad has released, one shows a young Naoki and Aichi, who’s holding a card  — rather than allowing the event to play out as it should have, Naoki intends to give Aichi the card himself.

In doing so, Aichi can begin down his path that liberates him from the crushing loneliness that he endured prior to actively playing the game, or in the case of IF, running away from home. Simultaneously, Naoki himself is freed from the guilt that’s shackled him in both continuities about not doing anything to help Aichi, as the Reboot has demonstrated how he yearned to at the time but was too late to make any move. This is his means of doing so and atoning for a reality when he failed.

When Emi, Shuka and Kai-kun would recognize him as the one who threatened the latter’s parents plus Suiko (and Ibuki) would be familiar with him as normal, there’s not a clear reason why he would forgo his Sanctuary Knight uniform for a civilian look other than to avoid attracting the attention of bystanders.;(It might be overthinking it to speculate there being anything more to it than this, but when has that ever worked?)    — Granted this is under the assumption that he would be able to leap through the timeline though Jammers of earlier episodes were capable of doing so, none of the enemy’s core have made any such move yet. And the consequences of doing so; if Aichi’s suffering is the result of IF World unravelling, then Naoki venturing to alter the timeline further may, in fact, cause him more harm than any good he may intend.

2.5 hours later edit: Courtney just shared the epi synposis and FUCK

Alternatively, Naoki might regain glimpses of the Psyqualia Zombie arc and see himself beating Aichi, leading to Destiny Conductor being able to control him and his eventual Deletion by Ibuki’s hand.

On the one side, it reinforces Aichi’s feelings that Vanguard is something they shouldn’t come into contact with, but Naoki could see it otherwise. He harbours guilt over being the catalyst for those instances, piling on top of his failure to reach out when they were in elementary school, spurning him to go back and redo everything so that he can always protect Aichi, not to embody anguish that the other goes through.

It would also strengthen a hostile opposition towards Ibuki, whose past sin comes back into play. He might throw the event in his face as a means of trying to dredge up his old feelings towards Vanguard and sway him to resist setting things right, whenever/however it is he’s released from wherever Aichi sent him and depending on what he experiences there.

Kourin:

Where we are currently feels very much like the “Sera’s betrayal leading to the Quatre Knights’ dissolution” point. Sera and Rati clashed with one another personally, Gaillard joined with Kai-kun and Naoki, Neve opposed VoidAichi directly — Naoki’s actions in the preview might be glimpses of him starting to break away from Aichi’s will. Though Naoki’s intentions are ultimately to save Aichi from the position he’s stuck in, it’s ultimately defying him — a far cry from what has been shown of the Knights, thus far, who have been fiercely loyal to him, which makes this sort of movement striking.

Miwa also doesn’t appear best pleased in the preview. As someone whose best friend was nearly killed as a result of Aichi’s orders  — a friend at risk now that he’s taking a stance against the group’s status quo — there’s every reason for him to defect for the sake of preventing another (and possibly actually fatal) incident. It’s very possible that It’s entirely possible that, in similar vein to Legion Mate, the collapse of the Knights will leave only Kourin by Aichi’s side, who’ll serve as the last line of defence. 

Mamoru & Tokoha / Aichi & Emi:

It wasn’t touched on during Nagisa and Gouki’s episode, but the dynamic of older brother and younger sister has the potential to crop up here, as well as the chance to contrast the Sendous’ current selves with the Anjou siblings (and the former’s past).

   — Not to mention how Mamoru and Aichi are polar opposites, at the moment in regards to their sisters in danger. Mamoru gambled with his life to keep Tokoha safe in the Dragon Empire attack of the original continuity, and anyone could see Aichi would do the same, but IF Aichi is the one who would inflict harm upon Emi, made clear by his soldiers’ attack on her and Shuka when they attempted to enter the past. Maybe, inadvertently, Tokoha might be put in jeopardy and Mamoru propelled to protect her in the same way, bringing about the behaviour of the two versions of her brother that Emi knows in the same situation.

Give me 11-year old Tokoha to mirror 11-year old Emi at the start of each continuity and drive this home.

And most importantly:

DRAGONIC OVERLORD ARMOUR

[thisiswhatwereupagainst]

TL;DR Went into Captain Britain and Excalibur just to read Meggan, expected to hate Brian, found out they both were bad to each other and are both very injured, traumatized characters grappling with gender norms in their own way, and I have a lot of sympathy and love for them BOTH now even if they definitely are not a good couple at this point. So, I am keenly interested in Meggan Puceanu as a character and a concept. Just learning some very basic things about her prompted THIS META POST three years ago. And that was before I really plunked down and decided to read all her stuff in order. And while I have yet to read ALL of it by a longshot. But I’ve gotten through about 20 issues now, from her first appearances in “The Mighty World of Marvel” in 1984, to meeting and joining up with Brian Braddock/Captain Britain in the second series of Captain Britain in 1985, to the first five issues of Excalibur in 1985. So yeah, keep in mind reading this, I am only up to Excalibur #5. And I know I probably should wait before writing all this stuff, read more, see if my interpretations hold true. But I have so many thoughts and I just can’t wait that long! So please read on with the understanding I may be proven completely wrong in these perceptions later. That said.... I had some basic knowledge of Brian and Meggan’s dynamic. I knew that she was completely emotionally dependent on him, that her every emotion hinged on his approval and attention, that a lot of her very identity was based around pleasing him as his girlfriend. I also knew he’d been a real dick to her, and that his descent into alcoholism had made him an even bigger dick. So, I was really prepared to dislike him. And while I do still dislike the power imbalance that their relationship was founded on, I ended up having very different feelings about Brian himself than I expected---I thought I was going to encounter a shitty macho man himbo asshole who treated Meggan like shit just because. Seriously, look at THIS and THIS and THIS! What a JERK! I was all prepped to despise this guy and yell about toxic masculinity and how Meggan deserved better. Instead, what I found was someone who was as broken and in pain as Meggan herself, but who got far less sympathy for it than she did, both from other characters and from fans. The first big shock that I got was that Brian had been raped twice by female villains in the second Captain Britain series, before Excalibur began. I had actually read about this a couple years ago on TV Tropes, but seeing it was something else. I wrote a longer post about it HERE As noted in the post, Brian never told anyone about either of these incidences as far as I know, nor getting any kind of therapy or treatment. He also started drinking after this happened. And as of Excalibur beginning, Betsy is dead (or so he believes) and he’s grappling a lot with that too. I think it was unethical of him not to rebuff Meggan when she first came on to him, for reasons I’ll discuss later in this post, but also makes sense for his character, not because he’s an unethical person but because he’s actually very passive and seems to just accept whatever is demanded by him of others; he talks about this with Courtney, how he has no choice in being Captain Britain, how it was imposed on him, asking if he’s a coward for just wanting a little of his own life and she unsympathetically says it’s “obscene” how he “can’t be bothered” to “take charge” of his own life (Excalibur #3). It’s a very unusual flaw for a male character. In his own way, he’s at the mercy of what others demand him to be as much as Meggan is with her powers, and I find that really interesting. I already knew that Meggan is very much a reflection of the demands placed on women by society, literally twisting her own emotions and physical forms to coincide with what is considered beautiful and what others desire, whereas Brian, it turns out, is himself a reflection of the demands placed on men---he has to be a warrior, whether he likes it or not (and he doesn’t, it’s part of his backstory that he doesn’t see himself that way at all), he has to be the hero and take care of the girl and he feels he has to just go with it when Meggan decides he’s her man and she needs him. And Meggan is more flawed than I expected. She’s oftentimes shockingly selfish in her obsession with Brian. For instance, when his ex Courtney is kidnapped by the sadistic murderous Arcade, Brian is understandably upset, and this troubles Meggan because she thinks that his being upset means he still cares for Courtney. The selfishness there is staggering; a woman’s life is in danger and Meggan’s first concern is her own love life, and she assumes that the only reason Brian could care about said woman’s life being in danger is if he’s in love with her. Or when Brian’s drinking is first brought up by the rest of the team, Meggan says it hurts her that he turns to those bottles instead of to her (Excalibur #3). So, her problem isn’t that Brian is obviously becoming addicted to alcohol, it’s that SHE isn’t the one that he turns to. She’s got a lot of moments like this. That said, I LIKE this about Meggan. It makes me like her MORE. It makes her WAY more realistic and flawed and human than the archetypical frail damsel who is just an accessory to her man that I was expecting. She’s clingy, she’s possessive, she’s downright nasty and hostile over him a lot! She may not think of herself as a real person, but the writers treat her as one, complete with flaws. Her dependency isn’t treated as a good or romantic thing either, it’s not held up as a female virtue like I was expecting; Brian is actually bothered by it, he confides in Kurt that he doesn’t think he can handle how she relies on him for everything, how he actually PREFERS Courtney because unlike Meggan, Courtney is her own woman-- “She doesn’t seem to NEED me as completely and desperately as Meggan seems to. Sometimes I feel I’m the total and absolute focus of Meggan’s life. It’s a responsibility I don’t think I’m capable of handling.” And Brian is right, this ISN’T a good thing to do in a relationship, Meggan is putting a lot of unfair emotional weight on his shoulders, and he’s already got a lot to bear from his own trauma and loss. In fact, one could even argue that her behavior would be seen as toxic if the genders were reversed. She’s still very sympathetic, of course, because this is coming from a place of real insecurity and need and probably her powers too, but it’s more three-dimensional and complicated than what I originally expected. But I like that. Because again, it’s more realistic, both in terms of Meggan’s behavior and in Brian’s reaction to it---he doesn’t WANT a woman being totally dependent on him and thinking the sun shines out his ass and needing him for everything, he wants another human being. That’s not what I expected a Bad Macho Man Stereotype to be saying! But in fact, Brian says another thing he prefers about Courtney is “she’s her own woman” and  “I can talk to her, Kurt.” (Excalibur #5) Brian is a man who wants to be able to have someone he can be VULNERABLE with, to talk with as an equal about his fears and anxieties---which he does with Courtney, as mentioned---and he can’t do that with Meggan because of the pedestal she puts him on and her needing so much care herself. He says as much himself to Kurt. He also recognizes that he himself probably isn’t equipped to deal with Meggan’s issues, she needs much more help than he can give. This isn’t an idealized thing at all, this is a realistic depiction of two very emotionally injured people in a very messed up dynamic that is bad for BOTH of them, hurting them BOTH. Up til actually reading it, I was expecting it to be one-sided, with Meggan being the only one suffering, but it’s not! And Meggan being like this, of being obsessed with Captain Britain and behaving in a very “cliche” way over him, makes a TON of sense for her, she’s not just obsessed with him for no reason like a typical “just the hero’s girlfriend” character. Meggan grew up being kept secret in her family’s camper-trailer for her then-monstrous appearance, til during the Jasper’s Warp when reality shifted into a world that was putting superhumans, including herself, into concentration camps. While she was in the camps, Captain Britain was a legend as a liberator and freedom fighter who was fighting back against the regime for the sake of people like her. And when reality returned to normal, Meggan was one of the few people who remembered that it had ever changed; she remembered the camps, and she remembered Captain Britain. Even though she’d never even seen him at that point, she clung to him as her one hope. Then the real Captain Britain found her when she was homeless and living in an abandoned warehouse, and he lets her live with him in his mansion because she has nowhere else, which is probably more kindness than she’s ever been shown in her life, and from someone she idolized. Which, as I said way earlier in this essay, does make their relationship an inherently unethical one because of their power imbalance, as he’s got a lot of power over her in terms of being the one providing her with a home, food, clothing, etc., not to mention her emotional dependency that’s obvious well before she makes a move on him. So we’re already starting on really problematic territory. But it makes SENSE for her. Add to that Meggan was raised on television in a VERY literal sense. Again, she was locked up in her camper trailer all day every day her whole life, and so she spent most of her time just watching TV. It’s shown that this has given her SOME UNREALISTIC IDEAS ABOUT HOW TO BEHAVE so I think that absorbing the media’s depictions of how women are “supposed” to behave towards their men is actually pretty realistic. She’s not doing this because the writers think this is just how women are----NONE of the other female characters act at all like she does!---but because SHE thinks it’s what’s normal and expected, and she’s probably very much imprinted on the media’s fantasy fairytale depiction of relationships. Given how she grew up as an ugly monster and seeing herself as such, I can very much see her as latching on the idea of “beautiful sweet woman who is valued for her beauty and being with the lead man and has no identity apart from that” that’s prevalent in media, which she would take for a reflection of reality, a reality that she thought her whole life would be denied to her. So all her behavior has a good in-character reason; she could even be read as a criticism of trying to enact gendered media stereotypes in real life and how they can’t actually work in the complexity of the real world, and how damaging they are to those who absorb them. What’s also funny is that despite appearing to be the standard “strong man, pretty woman” couple, especially with Brian becoming emotionally distant and cruelly pushing her away whilst she’s very emotional and obsessed with pleasing him, is they actually subvert this paradigm as much as they play it straight. The Juggernaut WIPES THE FLOOR with Brian at one point, and then Meggan shows up, shapeshifts into a GIANT MUSCULAR VERSION OF HERSELF, and comes to his rescue with Rachel and Kitty! That’s right, a buff lady and two other ladies save the dude in distress! And then afterwards, she acts like SHE was the one in danger, resuming her default petite form and jumping into his big manly arms while he asks if she’s alright and she says “Always in your arms!” ---it’s hilarious! (Excalibur #3) And of course, speaking of subverting gender stereotypes, there’s Brian’s desire to have a partner he can be vulnerable with, which is really astounding to me----he’s very much grappling with the expectations of toxic masculinity in a way that’s harming him as much as Meggan. Not just in relation to Meggan, but also, as mentioned before, in relation to not having control of his own life as Captain Britain, and being responsible for others. In particular, he’s messed up over Betsy’s (seeming) death, and over not having protected her, as a man would be expected to protect his sister. In the panel right before the “changeling cow!” scene I linked earlier, THIS IS WHAT HE SAYS. He doesn’t see himself as any good if he doesn’t meet impossible standards. And while Meggan reacts to pain by getting teary, Brian consistently reacts to his pain (or trying to hide it) by getting ANGRY, which is consistent with how women vs men are socialized. Which is not to say it’s anything but VISCERALLY HORRIBLE when he lashes out at Meggan, especially given how dependent she is on him, and she absolutely SHOULD have dumped his ass then, but it’s also a lot more three-dimensional than the emotionally abusive drunken bad boyfriend stereotype I was expecting.  I know I’m a broken record on this, but I am just so shocked at how sympathetic I ended up being to a guy I was so prepared to hate and was so cruel to a character (Meggan) that I was already very sympathetic to and invested in. Instead, I’m invested in them BOTH now and want to see them BOTH heal from this, and from each other. So, basically, I was really ready to be mad about Meggan’s lack of agency and her dependence on Brian. And these are things that happen. But the writers are clearly AWARE of it, and treat them as issues to be addressed and overcome. Meggan and Brian come off not as the cliche male and female stereotypes they first appeared, and that I expected, but very critical examinations and sometimes subversions of them, and both are shown as being hurt by the expectations of their gender, and being hurt by each other as they enact those expectations. It’s not totally perfect, not by a long shot, but it’s very interesting and a lot more nuanced than I expected some straight white guys in the 80s to be writing, it’s definitely a far cry from the typical idealized relationship between a hero and a leading lady, and I’m pretty impressed with it. And I’m looking forward to reading more.

[youeverfeelcursed]

On the Narrative of Last of Us Part 2 (3/3)

So this should be the last part on the narrative but I’ll probably post more thoughts on characters, representation, maybe on some details of the gameplay that just made me wish I could design something like this and most likely a text on where do I think this franchise is going to. 

I will also check and fix the previous posts as I know there’s typos and some mismatched data and maybe some timelines confusing. Logically, it comes with posting at my 3am and working from memory and not notes. 

That said, lets just move onto what I hope is interesting enough for people to read these old woman’s ramblings. For anyone still reading, thank you very much for your attention, it’s been a while since I truly enjoyed analizing an art piece.

(Note: I’m marking this post for rechecking as I feel its a bit convoluted. I blame it being 4am.) 

We ended the previous Act 3 (Abby’s Act) with a overhead shot (or aerial if you prefer) of Ellie and Dina on different sides of the shot, close but separated with Ellie being bathed by a red light and both represented in a descending oblique line from Dina to Ellie. 

I find it a wonderful shot that represents Ellie’s story in few and simple details. 

(For those interested, the name in the screenshot is from MkIceAndFire a No commentary channel I follow, go check him out!) 

From here, we jump to what I called the respise intermission, a short part but full of important details for the understanding of the next and final act. 

Like a moth to the flame, or how living sometimes is harder than dying.

The next part of Ellie’s story is as bittersweet as the best coffee you’ll ever have. We find her reminiscencing over Joel’s watch on hers and Dina’s bedroom. Putting it away we get to finally hold in our arms the cutest potatoe I’ve ever seen: JJ! Jesus that child is cute. And it’s obvious that Ellie loves him with all her heart. 

During this time we get to explore the beautiful they both probably restored to live in, in which it specially caught my attention how Ellie surprinsingly gets a full room for herself, whereas Dina seems to have a small space in the living room , where the photo of her sister sits.

I loved this part so much but I could feel that something was wrong, and it is. If we read Ellie’s diary we find out that she’s having trouble sleeping and dealing with people, needing to hide and what’s most likely profound PTSD thats later shown with her breaking down after herding all the sheep. 

A detail that I found important is the fact that she breaks down while having JJ in her arms, which has to be removed by Dina in case she hurts him during her seizure. Because remember that for Ellie protecting those she cares for is very important, so, does she feel she can protect them now?

Stop for a minute and think of how hard is for nowadays soldier to treat PTSD even with psychological support and meds, and how many of those war survivors end commiting suicide anyway. Now imagine that same in a world where violence is constant - yes they live peacefully in the farm but do you really think they don’t have to deal with any straggler? - and there’s basically zero to none mental health support.

Thats where it is important to pay attention to the moment when Ellie is coming back from hunting, how she cleans her face and takes a deep breath and puts her mask on - an obvious referal to her words in her diary - just before going back to Dina and JJ. 

I mean this is not the face of a person fully happy, its the face of a person thats putting her best front but catastrophically failing her inner battle. 

Tommy’s visit manages to break any remainer of the mask she tried to maintain so hard. It is obvious how while he tells her how he found information about Abby that with every word she breaks a little bit more. The trembling, tight shut lips and her open wide eyes that look as hopeful as they look lost. 

If this were another world, one in which I believe Ellie could get help, I would have hated that she left. But she says it herself, she doesn’t sleep, she doesn’t eat, she has a full room for herself so she can have space and even so she leaves for long times alone. She’s not really living, she’s riding the waves as they come but never truly enjoying it because by now her trauma is so deep I would have been surprised that she stayed. 

Because when Tommy talks about Abby, she feels a light, a hope of being able to just pour all of this shit out of her. Abby is not even important anymore, shes just a barrier for Ellie for her own liberation from her demons. Or thats what she thinks. 

She truly does JJ and Dina, but she’s completely broken inside. She’s missing pieces and for her, this is a chance of regaining them. It’s not even about vengeance anymore, it’s about rest. An end. Closure. 

What comes around, goes around. Or how Santa Barbara was the so needed eye opening. 

I was truly happy to see Abby and Lev being kind of silly and well, happy. They are the example of how you can heal when you learn to forgive both yourself and others. A extreme image compared to what we’ll see from Abby next time.

Fast-forward to Ellie after leaving the Rattlers village. Look at Ellie, she’s slightly delirious - Abby, Abby, Abby, Abby... - completely battered, skinny, with a fucked up side, half limping and pulling through out of sheer desesperation. She needs to do this, because if she doesn’t everything she left behind - Dina, JJ, Jackson - will be for nothing. She says it herself in her diary, she cannot think of that. 

And it’s funny. It’s funny there she goes. She helps Abby down and follows both of them to two small boats where she makes a scranny and completely eaten up Abby battle with her in exchange of not hurting Lev. 

The battle is sad. Abby contrary to Ellie had started healing so she didn’t want to battle. But it’s sad, these two beautiful human beings battling against each other as shadows of what they used to be, eaten away by life, hate and stupid decisions. You just feel like being over it because by this point it just feels completely stupid to keep warring. 

And there, Ellie doesn’t kill Abby. We get a flashback of Joel playing the guitar that stops her from killing her. 

And it’s funny, it’s funny because without Ellie both Lev and Abby would be rotting in those pillars. She left her home to kill a woman and ends saving both their lives! Why would she do that? 

We end this Act 4 with Ellie alone, watching the last remains of her flame disappear into the nothing. Rock bottom. You cannot go down further. That’s what it means. She left her family, Tommy is crippled and kind of hates her, Jesse is death, Joel is death, Ryley is death.

 And yet she left Abby leave. But why? 

The answer to all this crazyness is in the last flashback of her and Joel and a few words that are thrown into the night. 

“I was supposed to die in that hospital. My life would’ve fucking mattered. But you took it from me!”

Purpose. 

Yes, purpose. A meaning to her life. A meaning that has been ripped from her hands multiples times in situations out of her control. Is this what she really wants? Her life to revolve around vengeance? Is this what she’s choosing? 

So for once, she decides for herself and she decides that no. She doesn’t want that path. It’s not enough anymore. 

Ellie was supposed to die with Riley, but she survived and found out that’s she’s immune. 

Ellie traveled from one side to another of USA to be the solution to humanity’s problem. To help create a vaccine, whatever the cost. She was ready for it, she was ok with it. But it was ripped from her and lied about it multiple times. 

Imagine thinking you’re immune but that it means absolutely nothing. After getting yourself mentally ready for whatever it would happen, you are told that you’re useless. That you cannot help. That you’re worthless. 

Worthless. 

She ends in Jackson, And learns she’s been betrayed by the person she trusted most, that she could have meant something instead of just living taking care of cows and patrolling. 

It was impossible for Ellie to remain the same even before Joel’s death. Because Ellie is a very complicated character made of survivor guilt, a need to have a purpose in life, too many personal loses and self hating. Not only that, but all of this happens during her adolescence, a time which is hard to deal already without all these traumas piling up. 

Joel’s killing is what makes the bomb explode. Suddenly she can do something, she can leave Jackson and she can revenge him. Again, purpose. She can feel alive because she’s got finally a direction. It’s just not the correct one, because we all know that hate is a terrible guide but for her, is the only guide amids the fog. 

Ellie is a character that has been lost from the moment she learned she could have helped humanity. Chasing Abby was literally the easy path to take to give some meaning to her life. 

When she was with her family at the ranch, I truly believe she wanted her purpose to be to protect her family, but it was something impossible for her to do in her condition. She tried hard, but she couldn’t do it. Her diary again sheds some light on these, on how she feels she has nothing else to give to them. 

We know that, if Joel hadn’t been killed, she could have healed given enough time. She could have forgotten him. She could have find a motivation in Jackson. But there’s so much you can push something until it completely breaks. 

I think that, at the end of the game, when she walks from the ranch she realizes she cannot keep going like this. That if she wants her life to mean something, she has to do it herself instead of just waiting for it to happen. And I feel I know which way she will take next and why. 

Although the ending might seem sad, I found it strangely positive. The circle comes to a end, the guitar that Joel cleaned in the first seconds of the game, is put down by an Ellie lacking two of her left hand fingers impossible, to play it again that way. It is an act of moving on, but not of forgetting. 

Of finally attaining peace of mind, and the chance of recovering herself. 

[apehome]

So I wasn’t satisfied with the moodboard idea (I’ll still submit them sometime but maybe not use them to introduce OC’s. I was (originally) going to make pages for them on this blog but one of the pictures wouldn’t load on the page and (for some reason) it doesn’t save my text edits so, incase I can’t figure it out, I’m just going to post them publically. 

And, for the sake of not having to repost pre-existing art work of these OC’s, I’m going to just post new pictures of them here.

You may recognise this description format from a post I did back in November on my MackDreamer blog-it’s the same one but with some minor edits (keep in mind, some OC’s will have backgrounds (as they appear in fanfics such as my Before The Storm) but others might not-that is due to me not using them in fanfics and/or not knowing what to do them XD).

Name: Dolly (signed: ‘D’ thumped over right side of chest)

Age: 16 (Rise), 26 (Dawn), 28 (War)

Species: Bonobo

Gender: Female

Relatives:

Parents: Carlos (father and ‘Tina’ (mother-made up the name)

Siblings: Koba (younger twin brother), Nemo (younger brother), Gavin (youngest brother) and Rose (younger sister)

Mate: Ishmael (formally, deceased) Maurice

Children: Nova (adoptive daughter)

Friends: Caesar, Cornelia, Rocket, Luca, Bad Ape, Malcolm, Ellie

Enemies: Colonel McCullough, AO Army, humans

Loyalty: Caesar’s Colony

Appears in: Before The Storm 

Role: Main Character

Personality:

Despite being Koba’s twin sister, Dolly doesn’t share the same resentment towards humans as her brother. Contrary to Koba, Dolly is calm, loving, protective, wise and generally a more benevolent ape than him however, the years of abuse from humans were no kinder to her. 

Rise/Firestorm: 

In Rise and Firestorm, Dolly was focused on one thing only. Survival, her own and Koba’s. She was very confused and uncomfortable around so many apes and the effects from the A113, making her remember things about her and Koba’s past, overwhelmed her. Dolly’s worst fears were of losing Koba or being taken back to the labs by the humans and Caesar, the forest and their freedom turning out to be just a dream.

Dawn:

After ten years of freedom, Dolly fully considered the Muir Woods her home and the colony her friends and family. Due to Koba being honorary brothers with Caesar, Maurice, Rocket and Luca, and Dolly being close friends with Red’s mother, she was like an aunt to Blue Eyes, Cornelius, Ash and Red. 

Dolly felt she had put the dark days of cages and labs behind her but she struggled to understand why the humans mistreated her and Koba and felt sad and anxious when thinking about it. 

When the apes encounter Malcolm and the other humans in the woods and realize that the humans are still around, it reinforces Dolly’s crippling fear of losing Koba and her fear of being hurt and abused by humans again. 

But her fear of humans quickly turns to fearing Koba when she see’s the monster he had become and when she learns of Ash’s death, she realizes she could no longer protect her brother. That she has to keep her honorary nephews and the rest of the colony safe. 

War/Revelations:

Dolly grieves her brother’s death for the most part in Revelations as she constantly thinks back to the days leading up to Koba’s betrayal and feeling like his actions were somehow her fault. That, as his sister, Doll should have been the first one to notice something was wrong.

It isn’t until later that she realizes her brother’s darkness has spread to other apes-including Red, who she tries to reason with when he attempts to kill Cornelia-only to watch in horror as he fights and kills Grey and gets chased away by the other females. 

In War, Dolly feels as though her world is crumbling all around her with more and more of her friends being killed and injured in battle every day. By the time Blue Eyes and Cornelia were murdered, Dolly found herself feeling anger and hatred towards humans for the first time-she had always feared them, but never actually hated them or felt resentment towards them. 

Her newfound hatred and rage makes themselves known in the base, when the AO army imprisons the colony and separates them from the children and she manages to bite a soldier’s neck before being subdued by Red. Both apes give each other the cold shoulder for the most part, with Dolly only saying: “My brother would die before serving humans.” in response to Red’s loyalty to the Colonel as a donkey. 

Dolly is one of the few apes (aside from Lake and Percy) to not resent Caesar for leaving the colony and she makes it clear to Caesar that she doesn’t blame him for what has happened to the colony or for her brother’s death.

(I would like to think that, during the final battle, Dolly would see Red saving Caesar’s life and, just before the soldier could shoot him, she grabs Rocket’s gun and shoots the soldier instead. Saving Red’s life and yelling at him to run and then being reunited with him after the avalanche. Rekindling their relationship as aunt and nephew. I don’t know if I would officially add that here or if it would be better suited in a one-shot or role-play but still!) 

After the apes arrive at their new home in the desert, Dolly is happy and content and feels well and truly safe again. She later goes on to marry Maurice, as the two have had feelings for each other for years, and becomes adoptive mother to Nova-which fills her with joy as, due to being neutered by humans from a failed experiment, she thought she’d never have children.

Like the rest of the colony, Dolly was saddened by Caesar’s death and would always remember him for his compassion and all he stood for.

Background: 

Koba and Dolly were born in a primate research facility where they were taught Sing Language by their caregiver Mary. The twins loved playing together and were very close to their mother and to Mary.

After their mother was killed by Roger, the twins were sold to Tommy (as they were a bonded pair and had to be adopted together), Dolly became protective over Koba and often tried bit or fought back when Tommy abused her brother. 

In the few times they weren’t abused, Dolly and Koba would play and interact with their only friend-Milo.

After their escape from Tommy’s house, Koba and Dolly were both used as lab apes (presumably because Tommy kept their adoption papers and the animal control people kept them on file-which were eventually put in their lab records). Despite being put in separate cages, Dolly and Koba would hoot if they saw each other. The separation and isolation making the need to be together more stronger. 

When they are freed, Dolly immediately runs to Koba’s side before joining Caesar. Their liberation and rescue sparks a loyalty to Caesar that stays with Dolly ever since.

If this were a real life person, what would they be doing right now?: Hmm…If Dolly were human…I could see her working as a waitress at a coffee shop and having a scrapbooking and/or journalling hobby. 

Some Extra Notes: 

Dolly is the first Planet of The Apes OC I ever created (both first OC ever, and first ape OC).

Dolly was given her name by Mary (as she loved to play dress up when she was younger).

Ishmael is a male bonobo who Dolly married sometime before Dawn but Ishmael would eventually reject her when it became clear she could not have children.

Dolly’s fear of losing Koba (and people she loves) comes from hearing her and Koba’s mother take her final breath when she was younger. 

While Dolly does fear humans, she doesn’t actually wish harm or death on them and would likely befriend them if they were friendly-unlike her brother.

Dolly, Carlos, Rose, Gavin, Nemo and Ishmael are (c) Me

Everyone else mentioned here are (c) Penated of The Apes

[always-la-belle-epoque]

hi what is mash and why do you love it so much because i need to know if i need to love it too thanks

Hello, anon! It took a bit because I wanted to put time into my answers, so here you are! 

What Is M*A*S*H: 

M*A*S*H is a tv show about doctors/nurses stationed at a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (M*A*S*H) unit on the frontlines of the Korean War. The show focuses on the medical staff as they desperately try to save the lives of young soldiers. Many of the doctors are draftees and they are faced with trying to cope with the horror of a war they want no part of and that is the absolute antithesis to their professional calling. They fight against death every day, struggle against military bureaucracy, and try to keep their sanity. Often that deep stress is released in humor, practical jokes, and wildly unmilitary antics, but the true costs and realities of war are never treated lightly. I’ve never seen another show that can make me laugh so hard and then turn on a dime to make me cry just as deeply a second later. The show is a beautiful examination of human nature, heart, found family, loss, helplessness, despair, exhaustion, humanity, and hope,. 

M*A*S*H ran for 11 years, from 1972-1983 and the finale, Goodbye, Farewell and Amen, is still the most-watched television broadcast in history (the NYC sewer nearly faced collapse because people would all flush the toilet at the same time during commercials, and the streets were totally empty of cars as over half the country, 150+ mil people, watched the finale live together all at the same time. Can you imagine?!). Plus, it’s been in continuous syndication for 45 years which is impressive. M*A*S*H is for all generations, it resonates far beyond the era in which it was made, or which it was made about.

Why Do I Love M*A*S*H So Much (in general):

I don’t think there is another show out there in the history of the world that has written such narratively wonderful, deeply moving character arcs. I don’t know if there’s another show out there where the characters grow so much from their relationships with one another. Or a show that depicts masculinity in such a healthy, tender way. It is normal on M*A*S*H for male characters to: Cry. Hug. Tuck each other in. Hold hands. Perform emotional labor. Actively listen. Dance together. Sleep with teddy bears (and not have it be a joke). Admit they were wrong. Change and grow from being wrong. Etc, etc. 

And while Major Margaret Houlihan is the only female lead, her character arc is the most beautiful of any character I have ever watched or read. The show doesn’t start out particularly feminist, but it definitely ends that way (both male and female characters evolve here and it’s wonderful). And if more tv shows had characters half as complex as Margaret Houlihan, tv would be a whole lot more interesting, and women would be a whole lot farther along toward equality, imo. 

Why Do I Love M*A*S*H So Much (the personal): 

I was 15 or 16 when I started watching M*A*S*H. I was going through a very dark time in my home life. But my Mom would usually have M*A*S*H on while making dinner or just after. It was their weird time of day where it seemed like a truce between us. Sometimes I’d even sit all 5’8 of my gangly teenage body on her lap and we’d just watch like that with her arms around me (which given that things were darkly terrible the rest of the time it was like being a small kid again in a way I really needed). We’d talk about the characters. We’d talk about the stories. We both loved Margaret Houlihan (it’s interesting that Margaret has the most valuable traits I learned from my Mom - things I like most about her and am grateful she taught me despite all the bad stuff). 

Soon I was racing home after school and jamming in a blank VHS so that I could record each ep. I’d cross reference between tv guide and IMDB to try to see if any eps that I hadn’t seen yet would be on so I could record them for my collection. I made an elaborate cataloging system because they weren’t shown in order! And some eps were shown only rarely!! (I’m only 28, it amazes me that this was how things were not that long ago lol). 

Anyway, the DVD box set came out and I saved up alllllll my $ for it. Thank goodness, because then I got sick and for a few years the M*A*S*H characters were the most consistent and truest friends I had. The show is deeply personal for me. I can watch it over, and over, and over. It makes me laugh, and weep, and cheer. It’s like having friends. Like having family. 

Should You Love M*A*S*H too?

I want you to love M*A*S*H. I want everyone to love M*A*S*H! And M*A*S*H holds up. It’s still radically progressive. It’s still - in this time where North Korea is a frequent headline, where we have a government we do not trust, in a world where we have been at war since 2001 - deeply relevant. 

Here’s the thing though: it was made in the 70s, about events in the 1950s, and this is 2019 tumblr-land. You’ve all read the roasts about lack of critical thinking skills on this website and ability to contextualize, and those posts are unfortunately not wrong. And the world has changed - and changed for even better than what was, at the time, truly radical! Even terms that were the liberal, pc term in the 70s have changed now and are not liberal or pc anymore which for the 2019 watcher might raise eyebrows. But the show is extremely pointed about calling out racism, homophobia, sexism, military fetishism, colonization, etc. I think maybe the only other show I can think of that goes so hard at dogged and relentless political call outs would be One Day at a Time. So I feel protective of M*A*S*H because in 50 years maybe we will look back at ODaaT and say yikes about certain things, though that feels crazy to say now. 

If you do want to watch, here’s my advice (pull down your pants and slide on the ice (sorry, omg M*A*S*H jokeee)): 

Do not start with S1. Start with S4, or S5 even. For one thing, there are some cast changes at the start of S4 so you get intro-ed to everyone again in “Welcome to Korea pt 1 & 2” and “Change of Command.”  It’s a really good starting point to see a lot of characters on the brink of change. Don’t get me wrong, I still really love S1-3 but the characters haven’t grown yet. I love going back because I know them so well, but if you’re just meeting them, I recommend getting to know them in the middle of their journey, watch them evolve, and then go back and see where they started. And I think Col. Potter/BJ really elevated the tone of the show.

Because M*A*S*H is an older tv show, most people who love M*A*S*H never watched the show in order because we could only watched it in syndication! And you don’t really need to watch in order! In fact, CBS had the final call for episode order so sometimes even the air order is different than the writing, filming, intended order. Also, because they had 11 years of content over a 3 years of war, the show itself isn’t chronological. Due to probability (there are just more Potter/BJ eps) I saw more S4+ eps when I was first watching the show so again that’s my newbie preference. Now that it’s on Hulu (and remastered OMG) it might be tempting to watch in order, but really do recommend skipping around or at least starting later in for sure. You’ll learn context as you go (recs below). Then once you get the characters and their arcs it’s suuuuper fascinating to watch in order. 

 Fight me: Is everyone bisexual on this show??! Yes, yes they are. This is where I go full 2019 tumblr-brain, lol, but looking back I think it’s one of the reasons I loved it before I understood myself. It’s gentle, tender, pretty wavy. Alan Alda’s Hawkeye Pierce is, like, arguably canonically bi, like I even wonder if he was intentionally written/played that way on the dl. It’s pretty blatant?? And don’t even get me started on Margaret Houlihan. Godddddddd. 

 On that note, and maybe you will fall over, but Margaret and Hawkeye are my actual, #1, forever OTP. Which is weird for you, dear readers, I’m sure, as I run a v strict wlw blog and I’m very proud about that. But broken people who heal and change and grow because of the other is my tea, jam, and bread (”crackers and jam! too bad!” ;) ),  and so far the writing of other characters and relationships hasn’t a hope of even coming into the range of depth these characters have (obvs not just wlw ships, all other mlw ships are The Worst as well, we’re all doomed, why does tv suck). But anyway, I would take them over any ship any day of the week goombye (but also….shipping Margaret is kinda like….not the point of Margaret Houlihan). 

It’s worth noting that M*A*S*H has a character named Maxwell Klinger who wears a dress to try to get out of the army via a Section 8 (previously known as a “psycho”) discharge (remember lgbtq was still classified as a mental illness, smh). Obviously, this is potentially triggering. And, obviously, not okay in today’s world. To me the show does call out that it is the policies/laws/politics that are crazy, not Klinger. I think there are still some fairly modern ideas in his portrayal in that anyone who treats him like he is crazy, or is disrespectful, is very pointedly shown to be bigoted/an antagonist. Klinger is excellent at his job, brave, loyal, true, and that’s all anyone who is a protagonist cares about (and I do think they try to show to the extend they could during the time it aired that even if Klinger were not doing it for a discharge, they would respond the same way). Fwif, imo, Klinger isn’t played as a one note joke for wearing dresses, in fact, to an extent, he does wear them utterly sincerely. He loves, deeply loves, clothes and fashion because loving something gives him something to live for. It becomes his passion, not a gag. The gag is that Klinger will do anything to get out of the war through any available loophole he hears about (having an imaginary pet camel, eating 10 sausages in a single day, eating a jeep, trying to get into West Point aka join the military to get out of the military), etc. His comrades in arms treat him very sincerely and are very protective. Early on, a jeep comes in with wounded and Radar pulls Klinger away from the blood, “careful, you’ll get your dress dirty” in the most serious, sweet way. Col Potter is always very serious and sincere about telling Klinger when one of his dresses is a fav, and Klinger positively glows. When Klinger has to trade his dress collection to local women in exchange for shelter for the wounded during a bug out, Col. Potter, regular army in his 3rd war, tells Klinger (who is in tears) that it’s the finest act of bravery he has ever seen (and he means it). When Margaret desperately wants to look pretty and Klinger pulls out one of his best frocks and helps her dress in it - Margaret who grew up in combat boots wanting a crew cut - it’s pretty emotional (and I bawl when he gives her the wedding dress, goddd). As for Klinger himself, he’s one of my favorite characters. He has the biggest heart and I love him (and yes, I might feel differently if I had a different life experience than I do - that is why I’m flagging this as something that might not be for everyone, or might be trigger - because history already is triggering, and not everyone might be as moved by him as I am).

If you’re a 30 Rock fan you will know the star Alan Alda as Milton Greeen, Jack Donaghy’s father, and if you love Beauty and the Beast you will know that the actor who voiced Cogsworth is a major (lol pun) character in S6-11! But that’s all crazy to me because they are always M*A*S*H, first and forever, and always in my mind! I can’t believe they’re all in their 80s now, or that so many of them have passed.  :( They are truly my whole heart, my family, my home. 

If you do want to watch, recommend you start with the following eps (omg this list is long but it feels so short):

Welcome to Korea pt 1 + 2 (s4)

Change of Command (s4)

Aid Station (s3)

Death Takes a Holiday (s9)

Carry on, Hawkeye (s2)

Bug Out pt 1 + 2 (s5)

Dear Sigmund (s5)

Period of Adjustment (s8) *my first ep ever :,)

The Bus (s4)

Sometimes You Hear the Bullet (s1)

Tuttle (s1)

Crisis (s2)

O.R. (s3)

5 O'Clock Charlie (s2)

The Nurses (s5)

The Interview (s4)

Movie Tonight (s5)

Abyssinia, Henry (s3)

Hepatitis (s5)

Your Hit Parade (s6)

Peace on Us (s7)

Eye for a Tooth (s7)

Old Soldiers (s8)

Life Time (s8)

Stars and Stripes (s8)

Hey, Look Me Over (s11)

There’s a million more things I could say about the show. I feel like I haven’t summarized it justly. If anyone wants to chime in with why they love M*A*S*H, what your fav ep is, etc, please do :)

[suits-of-woe]

For the OTP asks... f!Edmund & Goneril >:3

1. If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it?Well their first meeting was presumably years before the play started so idk. For this AU in particular though, maybe not the first meeting, but I’m picturing a young Edmund walking around court with a chip on her shoulder but secretly kind of desperate to find anyone she can who can relate to her and accept her in terms of her sexuality and everything she’s facing and Goneril like…knowing that but knowing that associating with her is only going to make it harder for both of them. So she probably tries to get the interactions with Edmund over with quickly but then the next time Gloucester comes to court Edmund’s been sent away and Goneril regrets not being able to do more.


2. What song fits your pairing the most?I’m notoriously bad at finding songs but I still LOVE “The Tower” by Vienna Teng that you suggested for Edmund in this AU.

3. What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing?This AU for sure, f!Edmund is so great and I didn’t know I needed that until we started discussing it. I love talking about them so much :) I’m also just a sucker for any AU where they both live and so does Regan and they can actually have a talk and sort out some of their insecurities and mayhaps be emotionally vulnerable.

4. Do you prefer canon ideas or do you have your own headcanons for them?I love canon in all its sexy disastrous glory, but when I’m in the mood for them actually being soft and finding love and comfort with each other, it’s gotta be headcanons. Besides the set-up of the girl AU most of my hcs about their relationship are either post-canon or things they were thinking during canon, but as far as their canon scenes together I don’t really change much.

5. Favorite canon moment of them?I think you said this was your fave too but it’s gotta be 4.2. “Ere long you are like to hear, if you dare venture in your own behalf, a mistress’ command” is just SO MUCH. Dom!Goneril and sub!Edmund is the stupid hill I will die on. That whole scene is just brimming with Power Dynamics and Goneril finally deciding to just let loose and take what she wants, actually embrace her sexuality without fear for the first time. And Edmund just feeling so desired and also actually having someone go after her for once and getting very swept up in the whole thing. That scene is incredibly good.

6. Least favorite canon moment of them?The duel. Which is weird cause I love that scene character-wise for both of them individually, but in terms of their relationship I find it devastating. Goneril having to watch Edmund get mortally wounded and realising this whole relationship that made her give up everything, made her kill her sister, is just crumbling before her eyes and she really is going to be all alone again. And then in realising that she leaves Edmund alone! Edmund who’s spent the whole play desperate for love and affection is just totally without it in her last moments! Fuck!!! Shakespeare why did you do this to me?

7. Favorite headcanon trope/idea? (Your own or someone else’s)Ok I joke but I am actually so into the idea of Goneril being the one who initiates the relationship/is more dominant/forward in general because I think it swaps so many of the expectations they’ve both had to face in such a good way. Goneril’s always had to present herself as this object of desire and reproduction for men, that was how her value was measured as a princess and a wife, and her own desire has always been taboo and tamped down, ESPECIALLY because it’s for women. Whereas Edmund’s considered a perverse bastard, of course her tastes are wrong and vulgar, but she’s supposed to be like her mother, not the real object of anyone’s affection for longer than it takes for them to sleep with her and be done. So Goneril getting to WANT and Edmund getting to FEEL WANTED is my favourite thing.

8. Least favorite headcanon trope/idea? I hate interpretations where Edmund is just using her and Regan for power and doesn’t actually have any emotional connection to them at all. I find it so weird cause if she just wanted to marry a princess Regan is right there! It’s clearly not just about that! It doesn’t have to be True Love or anything but the idea that they have zero feelings for each other is ridiculous. And on a less blatantly wrong note: portrayals where Edmund is the one doing all the seducing. Have y’all read 4.2?

9. Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics?The mutual loneliness…the mutual rejection they’ve faced from their parents and the world…the mutual realisation that maybe they ARE worthy of love and happiness and can find it with each other….yeah.

10. Least favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcanon)Edmund buddy you gotta STOP sleeping with two sisters at the same time. I know it’s about her feeling the need to hoard all the love she can get but it’s so bad hon, you’re hurting everyone involved. If you could just NOT do that you could actually maybe have a happy monogamous relationship??

11. If they aren’t a canon pairing, how would you get them together?I mean they’re kind of canon but them having a functional monogamous relationship is definitely NOT so. My go-to “fix-it” (by which I mean fixing the sad feelings of me, a villain-stanning dumbass) scenario is basically Gloucester escapes with Lear, so Cornwall never blinds him and never dies and Regan has no reason to go for Edmund. The sisters win the war but Albany’s conscience gets to him so he helps Lear and Cordelia get away and goes with them (and also Edgar and Gloucester probs) back to France. Cue a very messy divorce, but at the end of it Goneril’s in full “fuck everyone, I do what I want” mode and Regan’s 100% there for her, so Edmund gets to be her closest advisor and not-so-secret lover, and now that they’re not surrounded by people who treat them as second-class all the time they can actually like…feel secure and be in love.

12. If you had to take them and plunk them into another fandom, what fandom would that be? Why?Hmm I suppose another play where they could be a badass power couple with less interference and tragedy. Antonio and Sebastian from the Tempest have some vibes so you could genderswap them. Could TOTALLY see Edmund like “hey you know how I usurped my sibling? I’ll help you usurp your sibling, and then maybe we can also bang”

13. How hard is it write/draw your pairing? Scale of 1-10.I’ve only kind of tried once (and that was with m!Edmund anyway) so idk…6 or 7 maybe? I like writing Goneril but I find Edmund’s voice very hard to get right, plus I’m always trying to find a good middle ground between Shakespearean English and totally modern language.

14. Is there a pairing that you think rivals them?I mean in-universe it’s Regan/Edmund but I don’t like them nearly as much (and I don’t think they like each other all that much either). If Regan weren’t so grief-stricken and Edmund weren’t so obsessed with holding onto any bit of affection I don’t think they ever would have gotten together.

15. Which character of the pairing do you like more? (Would you ever pair yourself with them?)I’m for sure an Edmund person — as much as I love Goneril, she’s not top 3 characters in the canon level of fave. And I think my crush on Edmund is well-documented (although less f!Edmund since I’m straight) but that relationship would probably end in my death tbh

16. Which character of your pairing would be the one to break up with the other? Why?I guess Edmund, since she’s the one who cheats, and even though Goneril seems to know about it she doesn’t end things. But realistically I don’t think Edmund would actually break up with her even if she probably should, she’d be more likely to keep hanging on because Affection™ even if things were a wreck. Honestly given how things are in the canon I think both of them would stick around long after it stopped being a good idea.

17. Are they relatable as characters or as a pairing?I relate to Goneril somewhat because Womanhood™ and oldest daughter feelings and especially in this AU having a bad and traumatic relationship with a man that makes you hate him even if it’s not really his fault :/ I don’t really relate to Edmund though, and I’ve never had a relationship similar to their dynamic

18. Did you once/ever dislike one/both of them?Regan was the first sister I loved and I still adore her but for a while that made me think of Goneril as the boring evil crazy sister who was just getting in everyone’s way. Edmund I loved from the start, although at first it was just in the “villain is cool and sexy haha” way, and it wasn’t until I got really into that character that I started loving Goneril too and thinking about how much they have in common and are SUCH victims of their parents and society in general.

19. On an estimate, how many posts have you made about them?Less than 5 I think, this is definitely a niche ship as far as people’s interest on here and tbh I didn’t start fully shipping it until recently. It’s definitely a guilty pleasure ship because their relationship is DISASTROUS but it also makes me feel…a lot of things.

20. What made you decide to ship them?I got really upset thinking about how Edmund canonically died alone and rewrote his death scene so Goneril was there they both kind of…realised how lonely they both were and got to have a genuinely tender moment right at the end. And then it occurred to me how sad their mutual love-starvation is and how much I want them to be there for each other. And THEN you helped me flesh out my ideas for f!Edmund and that just intensified both of their feelings of rejection by the world and Edmund getting to embody Goneril’s sexual liberation and both of them experiencing love in a way they never have before and that just made it even more compelling.

21. Favorite genre for them? (Angst, fluff, etc.)I’ve barely written them but honestly fluff because the main appeal of this ship is giving them both companionship and someone to understand what they’re going through. So yeah, I want them to be sweet and talk about their feelings and work through their issues enough to be a functional couple. Will this ever happen? Unlikely, but I can imagine it.

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Japanese woman recruited and sold by the UC / FFWPU to a Korean farmer

▲ Seoul, South Korea, August 14, 2012: Japanese members of the Unification Church bow as an act of apology for the wartime Korean sex slaves conducted by the Japanese military. Liberation Day in Korea falls on August 15. It is the anniversary celebration of Korea’s liberation from Japanese colonial rule in 1945. This rally was held the day before. _____________________________________________

A 20-year-old woman was recruited by the Unification Church / FFWPU in Japan and was sold to an older Korean farmer in an “apology marriage”. He was NOT a UC member.

_____________________________________________

PLEASE RETURN MY SISTER WHO IS IN SOUTH KOREA

1.  Ms. Nameless  Posted: 01/10/25 ID:FFmOrZXZ

I want to write about my experience here as my serious warning to all Japanese women. Please note, everything I write about from this point is true!!

My elder sister, who was pretty and bright, got involved with a Korean woman and developed an interest in the country of South Korea.

Then she was taken away to South Korea where she became a virtual slave.

You might say “You are so silly!” But this story is true. The tricks used are surprisingly clever, and thousands of Japanese women have already been taken away to South Korea through this scheme.

Now, I want to reveal their dirty tricks. I want to bring this to the attention of all Japanese women, so they can be careful. And again I want to say that this is based on my actual experience. I would like to sincerely ask you not to interfere with the warning I am going to put on this website.

It all started three years ago.

“I met some Korean people and we became friends.” It all began with these words from my sister. She was in her junior year at university when a female Korean student sat next to her on a bench on campus and started to talk to her. The two of them soon became close friends. I also met that Korean student several times and I had a good impression of her. She was courteous and seemed to be a nice person. I heard that she was a member of a peace organization.

2.  Now I really regret that I was not more aware of what was going on at that time. My sister had begun to attend “Culture Classes” given by the peace organization that she had been introduced to by the Korean student. According to my sister, the class was “to learn about peace”. In the class she watched many videos and then listened to lectures.

Although the name of the class was “learning about peace”, the contents were only about “how the Japanese tormented the Koreans”. After watching such videos for hours and hours, they then listened to lecturers from the organization – and the topic was always “How the Japanese people have never compensated for their crimes and always speak irresponsibly”.

One day my sister had a pale face. She explained to me “the Japanese army forced 150 Korean comfort women to stand in a line and they cut off their heads one by one. Then they made a soup from the severed heads – and forced other comfort women to eat this soup ……”

I was shocked by the story, but at the same time it sounded “exaggerated” to me – so I got suspicious.

While continuing to attend the culture classes, my sister’s attitude gradually changed. She began to repeatedly say, with desperate expressions on her face, “I’m so ashamed that I was born Japanese,” or “the Japanese people must make amends to the Korean people right now,” or “the current Japanese prosperity is founded on the sacrifices the Korean people [were forced to make during the Japanese occupation of their country].” She completely forgot about her university studies and started to study the Korean language.

▲ A poster promoting Japanese women available for marriage. 

Translation of the poster (Korean on the left and Japanese on the right):

True Marriage to a Japanese Woman

Nonprofit community service organization: Registration No. 1300

♥ Junior college or higher educational background ♥ Healthy body and mind ♥ For a young man who has stable employment (around 30 years old)

(Previously married men and women, now single, must be aged 60 or less)

Ideal spouse with a chaste sense of values.

We will match you up.

True Family Practice in conjunction with ◯◯ Committee

Consultation phone Counselor / Consultation Staff

___________________________________________

The poster was affixed in a South Korean farming village. Marriages were then officiated by Sun Myung Moon in a mass marriage. The poster was found shortly before a Unification Church “Korea-Japan” mass wedding which was held in Seoul. The Korean men had to pay $thousands to get a Japanese bride. It was often a family investment, so the women’s passports were taken, and other measures, to prevent them from escaping. A United Nations report highlighted the cultural problems of these marriages. A substantial number of which ended in divorce. One main reason divorces were granted when requested by the women, was the fact of the  FFWPU coercion the Japanese women had experienced to offer themselves in “apology to Korea marriages”. LINK

___________________________________________

3.  Then my sister said, “I want to go to Korea to apologize to the Korean people in the Korean language”.

I did not think it was necessary for her to go, but on the other hand I thought it was good to make international friends. I didn’t take it seriously enough.

One day, my sister told me that I should also study the Korean language. I asked her why. She answered, “The Korean language will become the global language and is the most excellent language in all of human history”.

On hearing this I became more suspicious. So I secretly sneaked into my sister’s room while she was away. There I found books entitled “The Divine Principle” and “Apostate” and some brochures. I started reading them and was appalled at the contents. One item said, “Japan is a country ruled by the devil. It tormented South Korea which should be the country to lead the world,” another said, “Japan is the country representing Eve, and Korea is the Adam country. Therefore it is Japan’s obligation to work to serve Korea [to reverse Eve’s mistake in the Garden of Eden].” “After the unification of North and South Korea, the country will become the center of Asia and will then rule the world”. The literature was full of such crazy things!

I asked my university tutor about the information which had given me such an uneasy feeling. He told me, “Well, that is the Unification Church.” Then I researched into the Unification Church and discussed it with my parents. We all tried to convince my sister to withdraw from this Church. But it was too late. She took a hard line and decided to quit university and insisted on going to South Korea straight away.

We were desperate. We tried to stop her, but she swore at us angrily saying, “You people are all devils who want to insult the Messiah and South Korea which will lead the world!” We were horrified at the change in her. I cried, together with my parents.

4.  Suddenly, my sister decided to participate in a mass wedding ceremony in Seoul and so finally she left our home.

I protested to the Korean student who had invited my sister to their meetings. This student completely changed from her previously polite demeanor. I asked her “You are a member of the Unification Church, aren’t you?” But she acted as if she didn’t know. “Eh? What is that?” she replied.

I said, “The founder of Unification Church is Sun Myung Moon; he’s really weird, isn’t he?”

My comment made her so upset.

“What did you say?!” She yelled like mad, spitting out her words, her face red with anger.

Although she had hidden this fact, she was indeed a member of the Unification Church!

My family was so sad, we all cried for a while after my sister left home. We all worried about her circumstances.

Soon my sister contacted us to say that she had got married to a Korean man and was living in countryside. For a time we felt relieved. Then she began to send frequent letters. She wrote “Please send money”, and “send electrical goods” and other things. It seemed that her Korean “relatives” in the countryside demanded that she get money and goods from our family for their sake. My parents felt that they had no choice but to continue to send money and goods as requested.

We worried what sort of life my sister had in Korea. I decided to go to there to see her and find out her situation. It was dangerous for me to go alone, so we had to make an effort to find an appropriate person to be my interpreter and bodyguard. We hired Mr. A., who was a Japanese exchange student living in Seoul.

___________________________________________

統一教会の日本人花嫁数千人が韓国農民に宛われた

Thousands of Japanese brides from the Unification Church were allotted to South Korean farmers.

週刊ポスト　No. 20  2010（H22) 年6月4日号 [雑誌]

Shukan Post No.20 2010 (H22) June 4 issue [magazine]

〈衝撃リポート〉〈Shocking Report〉

韓国農民にあてがわれた統一教会・合同結婚式日本人妻の「SEX地獄」 見知らぬ土地での生活、貧困、差別に「故郷に帰りたい……」と

▲ “SEX Hell” of the Japanese wives who were allocated to Korean farmers in a Unification Church mass wedding ceremony

living in an unfamiliar land; poverty; discrimination “I want to return home …”

北海道大学教授らの徹底調査で判明した戦慄の真実

The striking reality discovered through an in-depth investigation by professors from Hokkaido University

▲ The matching – Mr. Sun Myung Moon decides couples. [Hak Ja Han is standing beside him.]

___________________________________________

5.  Mr. A took me to the address which was written in my sister’s letters. It was in the Korean countryside.

The place was totally different compared to the general countryside of Japan. It was a pre-modern farm in a village with unpaved roads. We found my sister in one of the poor village houses. My sister seemed glad that I had come to visit her. Her husband was the son and heir of a farming family. He was an ugly and uneducated countryman. He seemed to be over 40 years old although my sister was in her early 20s.

Mr. A and I talked together with the poor family for a while.

I thought it was impolite of me to do so, but I gently challenged their marriage, and asked my sister to return to Japan.

Suddenly the interpreter became pale. He explained that my sister’s husband said, “I paid money!” and he continued with a vulgar smile “It was a good deal, ’cause this Jap girl has got a nice body.”

This made me so angry. I really wanted to kill him – but in this situation, I had to silently endure his comments for the sake of my sister’s safety. My sister also said, “the Japanese people must make amends to the Korean people.” She said she was working from morning to night. Listening to the family’s conversation, Mr. A whispered in my ear, “it seems she is almost a slave”.

6.  There was nothing I could do for her, so I returned to Japan. On the way to the Seoul airport, Mr. A explained many things to me. For example, he said there was a strange group of Japanese women in Seoul – all Unification Church members – who worked all day from early in the morning. Those women often joined demonstrations and performances against Japan, or were perhaps forced to join in such activities.

In addition, when I spoke about the Korean comfort women, he said he had heard from an old Korean man, who had himself experienced the Japanese colonial era. The man had said, “the coercion story [of forced recruitment] is complete fiction”.

According to the old man, the truth was that poor families in rural areas sold their daughters to Korean prostitution brokers. It was a common solution in the Asian region, including in Japan, for such poor people to get out of deep poverty. “It is fiction that the Japanese Army arranged trucks to kidnap girls. Nobody ever saw such a spectacle and I never heard such rumors at that time”, the old man told Mr. A.

I then said to him “so the comfort women stories must have been created by somebody for a certain purpose.” He caught my drift that the Unification Church was using the comfort women stories. “I know a person who is close to a lawyer, Mr. Takagi, who is responsible for litigation in wartime comfort women cases. I will contact him to see if he knows something about this.”

7.  I returned home with a feeling of deep frustration. I could not speak honestly to my parents about my sister’s situation. I had the impression that my sister had been sold to Korea as collateral, as a servant.

A while later, my sister suddenly informed us that one of her “relatives” was going to visit Japan and she wanted us to take care of him. My parents and I really disliked the idea, but felt we could not refuse.

A crude beggar-like young man arrived.

The Korean man had a featureless face with narrow eyes, just like pen lines. At first he seemed emotionless, but soon violent mood swings emerged. He would yell and his face then became the color of a boiled octopus. Especially during meal times he would sit at the table in a very rude manner. He ate his food making horrible noises. Not only that, but he complained saying “Why you don’t serve kimchi, huh?!”, “So bland taste!!” and so on.

Needless to say I really hated this Korean guy.

One day, he yelled at my mother. “The sauce for dipping the tempura is too bland! You’re stingy! Are you trying to belittle your precious guest?!”

I was reaching to the limit of my patience. I seriously thought about putting something like pesticide into his drink.

I felt he was always looking at me in a strange way.

One night, the man sneaked into my room and tried to rape me, covering my mouth with his hand. I screamed and scratched his face. He beat me with all his strength.

This made my father furious and he drove the man out of our house. Finally I could be reassured.

8.  One day Mr. A., the student who was in Seoul, sent me some surprising information. The following is a summary of what he sent.

What I should explain first is that it was an organization called the “Hundred Members Committee” who raised the “Comfort Women Issue” for the first time. The goal of this organization was to “obtain official apologies and compensation [from the Japanese government] for the Korean people”. Some Korean members of this organization, and Japanese housewives, went to South Korea “to search for victims” suitable for starting a lawsuit. Kim Hak-soon, who was the “courageous first woman to come forward as a victim of the sex-slave system”, was just a Korean prostitute who made a lot of money from her prostitution business with Japanese soldiers. But the “Hundred Members Committee” searched for such kinds of prostitutes and had them appeal to the Japanese government. Then they started international propaganda about the issue.

Now, what sort of organization is the “Hundred Members Committee”? In fact, this committee was created by the “Asian Women’s Federation for Peace” and that is a secondary organization of the Unification Church! Besides, Kenichi Takagi, the lawyer who supported the prostitute lawsuit, and the Japanese housewives who went to Korea to search for “victims” are also all members of the Unification Church. (Of course they all denied being church members. This is the modus operandi of the Unification Church. Members are instructed to say “We are different” when they are asked “Are you members of the Unification Church?”) Their actions are based on their belief in the teachings of the Unification Church that “Japan is a country of the devil and must therefore act to make restitution for their crimes which plagued Korea, the country of the Messiah”.

9.  After the rapprochement between Sun Myung Moon and Kim Il-Sung in 1992, the General Association of Korean Residents in Japan came to be involved in activities concerning the comfort women issue, and many North Korean “fake comfort women” appeared one after another. They circulated stories to the international community, such as “the Japanese soldiers cut off the comfort women’s heads with swords, and made soup with the heads which they then made us drink”.

Then what is the reason why the Unification Church fabricated the “sex slave issue”? The reasons are complex.

First, they wanted to diminish the credibility of Japan and the Japanese people, so that they can make the Japanese government pay compensation to Korea, and give advantage and political status to Zainichi Koreans in Japan.

_____________

Note: Zainichi Koreans, also often known as Zainichi for short, (or Chōsen-jin) comprise ethnic Koreans who have permanent residency status in Japan, or who have become Japanese citizens, and whose immigration to Japan originated before 1945, from Chōsen (the old, undivided Korea), or who are descendents of those immigrants. They are a distinct group compared to South Korean nationals who have travelled to Japan for the sole purpose of employment or study. More details on Wikipedia: Zainichi

_____________

Secondly, they wanted to brainwash more Japanese women to set them up for “human trafficking” [as their duty or responsibility]. In the Japanese women’s minds they planted the consciousness that the guilt [or shame of Japan] should be expiated, or atoned for. These Japanese women believed that being in the same situation as Korean comfort women could be a way to personally go through suffering to compensate [for the suffering endured by Korean comfort women during the Japanese colonial period].

According to Mr. A, thousands of Japanese women had already been tricked this way, like my sister. Especially in countryside of Korea there is a high demand for these women. The Unification Church groomed the women for human trafficking to be collateral!

When I heard this story I was stunned.

I also heard from another person who was with Mr. A, that 辛淑玉, Shin Sug-ok, had a relationship with the Unification Church and she delivered lectures to Unification Church-affiliated organizations.

[ 辛淑玉、シン スゴ、신숙옥、女性、1959年1月16日- . とは、東京都生まれの実業家。のりこえねっと （ヘイトスピーチとレイシズムを乗り越える国際ネットワーク）共同代表、シューレ大学アドバイザー。東京都立第一商業高等学校卒業。在日韓国人3世。LINK ]

[ 辛淑玉, Shin Sug-ok, worked for the International Network to Overcome Hate Speech and Racism. She is a third generation Zainichi Korean. ]

I came to think I could not trust Zainichi Koreans.

Apparently the Unification Church believers, the General Association of Korean Residents, and human rights campaigners in Japan were all in one crony gang.

The reality is that they are despicable people who continue activities to prepare and induce Japanese women to become the slaves of Koreans – all behind a mask of justice!

10.  Currently, a lot of Japanese women are being fooled by this Korean propaganda and support their activities. This it is totally wrong because it just helps the crimes of the Unification Church. I will say it again and again, so many Japanese women are sold to Korea as a “commodity” for human trafficking by the Unification Church, just like my sister. If you doubt my story, please take action and research what miserable lives those Japanese women have in Korea. You will find out those women are virtually enslaved. I don’t understand why the Japanese mass media do not report these harrowing tales. Why do the the so-called quality papers like Asashi shimbun, Mainichi shimbun or Yomiuri shimbun not explain to the public that right now such women are being trafficked ? Why!?

I simply want to ask why Japanese TV stations do not report the fact that Japanese women are victims like this? Why is this so?

Right at this moment, many Japanese women are brainwashed by this bad Korean religion and sold to Korea to be enslaved for their whole lives.

I want my sister back!

11.  Now, I will finish my story about the miserable experience of my family.

I think our experience is hard to believe for most Japanese women, but it is true.

I think all Japanese women need to know the existence of this terrifying trap that leads Japanese women to such miserable situations. That is why I put this series of messages on the internet.

However, I do think most of the Zainichi Koreans in Japan, and the South Korean people, are good people. So please do not have prejudice based on ethnicity against all Korean society. But it is a fact that there are some crazy people who have done horrible, malicious and wicked things to the Japanese people, and they continue to do so. And they have no scruples about what they are doing. It is also a fact that such things have been neglected or ignored.

[Because there have been many instances of the abuse of foreign wives, the South Korean government introduced the screening of men wishing to marry them. There has been a gender imbalance in South Korea due to some couples having a preference for sons – they are more valued in the Korean neo-confucian mindset. In 2017 there were about a million fewer women than men in the 15-50 age group. This is one of the reasons for an increased demand for foreign wives, and it can present good business opportunities.]

Maybe there are some people who do not want to believe my story.

I don’t want to be hurt by heartless responses like “show the evidence!” or “don’t make up such a story!” So I will never come back here again.

Each person is free to believe or not. I cannot blame people who do not believe my experience. It has not been broadcast or well publicized by the mass media.

But anyway, let me insist again, the whole of my story is true! It is factual!!

___________________________________________

Notes

Sun Myung Moon was the founder of the Unification Church [now known as the Family Federation for World Peace], which is a South Korean based religious organization. [He claimed to be an] activist in the Korean independence movement during Japan’s annexation of the Korean Peninsula. After the independence of Korea, he established the International Federation for Victory Over Communism against North Korea. [Moon died in September 2012.]

Kim Il Sung was the former leader of the socialist nation, the Democratic Republic of Korea (North Korea). He was well known for his Red Terror with continuous blood purges to maintain his political power. Kim died in 1994.

There were Korean Comfort Women used by the Japanese military. There are testimonies and photographs, and there is a lot of evidence. However, it seems to be true that most of the recruitment of the women was done by Koreans, and there were even notices in Korean newspapers for Comfort Women (see example below).

It seems there are also fake Comfort Women seeking compensation. [There is clear documentation that Korean Comfort Women changed their testimonies over the years – and there is evidence that some were coerced to do that under threat of losing their accommodation.]

___________________________________________

『毎日新報』1944年10月27日付
 『軍』慰安婦急募
 一、行  先　     〇〇部隊慰安所
 一、應募資格    年齢十八歳以上三十歳以内身體[体]強健한者 
一、募集期日　十月二十七日부러十一月八日外지
 一、出發[発]日       十一月十日頃
 一、契約及待遇 本人面談한後即時決定함 一、募集人員数十名
 一、希 望 者 左記場所에至急問議할事  京城府鍾路區楽園町一九五
 朝鮮旅館内
 光③二六四五
 （許氏）

Maeil Shinbo (Korean language newspaper, probably Seoul) Newspaper ad dated October 27, 1944 “Military” Comfort Women Urgent Recruitment Destination: Troop Comfort Station (location not decided) Employment Requirements: Age between 18 and 30; good physical health (robust body) Recruitment period: From October 27 to November 8. Departure date: Approximately November 10. Contract and Remuneration: Decided immediately after interview with individual Recruiting number: several dozen Aspirants should make urgent contact at the following location: Kyeongseong-bu, Jongro-gu, Akwon-jeong 195 [Seoul Prefecture] Inside the Joseon Inn Gwang (3) 2645 (Phone number) [Ask for] Mr. Heo 허 (name of the Korean person in charge)

___________________________________________

『京城日報』 “Keijo Nippo” 경성일보 Kyongsong Ilbo (Daily) newspaper. The paper was published during Japanese colonial rule. At this time (1910–1945), Seoul was called Keijo (京城); (Korean: 경성; Gyeongseong or Kyongsong, literally meaning “Capital City” in Hanja.)

京城日報』（1944年7月26日付）

慰安婦 至急 大募集 Comfort Women Urgently Wanted – Large Recruitment 年齢 一七歳以上 二三歳迄 Age: From 17 to 23. 勤先　後方〇〇隊慰安部 Place of work: Troop comfort station behind the front-line 月収　三〇〇圓[円]以上（前借三〇〇〇圓[円]迄可） Monthly income: more than 300 yen (advance borrowing of up to 3,000 yen allowed) 午前八時より午後十時迄本人来談 Individual client consultations from 8:00am to 10:00pm 京城府中* 新町四ノ二〇 Apply to: 4-20 Shinmachi, Keijo City [Seoul] 今井紹介所 Imai Agency (a private company) 電話東⑤一六一三  Telephone East: ⑤1613

These salary rates are huge. Women factory workers earned about 20-50 yen at this time.

Excerpts from Korean comfort woman Mun Ok-chu’s memoir

___________________________________________

The Comfort Women controversy

“About 100 Korean women were abducted by Korean prostitution brokers but were rescued by Japanese military police.”

_____________________________________________

Cult Indoctrination through Psychological Manipulation

In one of his studies, Nishida (1994) found that recruiters offer the targets a new belief system, based on five schemas. These schemas comprise:

1. notions of self concerning one’s life purpose (Self Beliefs);

2. ideals governing the type of individual, society, and world there ought to be (Ideal Beliefs);

3. goals related to correct action on the part of individuals (Goal Beliefs);

4. notions of causality, or which laws of nature operate in the world’s history (Causality Beliefs); and

5. trust that authority will decree the criteria for right and wrong, good and evil (Authority Beliefs)  represented by: ▲.

Read a series of articles HERE

___________________________________________

Una mujer japonesa fue reclutada por la FFPUM y luego vendida a un granjero coreano

Mujer de 20 años reclutada en Japón por la Federación de la Familia para la Paz Mundial y la Unificación / la Iglesia de la Unificación y luego fue vendida a un granjero coreano en un “matrimonio de disculpa”.

“Please search for the 6,500 women missing from the mass wedding ceremony,” victim’s families appealed.

___________________________________________

Dae Mo Nim (Hyo-nam Kim) poured guilt on the Japanese

___________________________________________

Japan gave $800 million as reparations for Korean occupation

Asia Times Online      December 2005

In 1965 Japan gave $800 million as reparations for the occupation of Korea, in a combination of grants and low-interest loans. This was part of the Korea-Japan Normalization Treaty of 1965. In January 2005 details were disclosed to the Korean public for the first time.

James Card: “Declassified dossiers revealed that Seoul demanded US$364 million compensation for individuals who died, were injured or used as laborers during Japan’s 35-year occupation on the Korean peninsula. Instead, the South Korean government received $800 million, in a combination of grants and low-interest loans, as reparations from Japan.

South Korean dictator Park Chung-hee agreed that after this payment, South Korean citizens would give up their right to make individual claims against the Japanese government. What the declassified documents revealed was that Park only paid out about 2.56 billion won ($251 million) to families killed by the Japanese and 6.6 billion won to owners of destroyed property. None of the thousands of South Koreans conscripted into the Japanese military and labor workforce received compensation.

The remaining money was earmarked for nation-building construction projects. Park’s often-criticized vision of linking Seoul and Busan in the south by expressway became a reality. He poured money into developing infrastructure and heavy industry, especially his favored state-owned business, Pohang Iron & Steel, which later became Posco, one of the world’s top steelmakers.

The Japanese reparation money, along with American foreign aid, was the gratuitous seed money that bootstrapped the South Korean economy into the industrial nation of today. Arguments in the winter of 2005 revolved around the wartime victims being sacrificed for the greater good of the nation and Park’s Japanese philosophy of ‘poor people, strong state’.”

James Card is a freelance writer in South Korea.

https://www.asiatimes.com/atimes/Korea/GL23Dg02.html

___________________________________________

South Korean forces killed more than Japanese killed in 36 years

In about 36 months in 1948-1951 South Korean forces killed more South Koreans than the Japanese killed in the 36 years of their occupation of Korea.

There were some 1,222 probable incidents of mass execution without trial by the South Koreans in 1948-1951.

South Korea Admits Civilian Killings During War New York Times (November 26, 2009) By Choe Sang-hun

___________________________________________

6,500 Japanese women missing from Moon mass weddings

Questions about the 1992 Mass Wedding in Seoul

UC/FFWPU “Recruiting unmarried men and women” just one week before 1995 mass marriage

韓国よ、私の姉を返せ！！Please return my sister from Korea.

Moon: “Women have twice the sin”

Why did a Japanese UC member kill her Korean husband?

Japanese member, Ms. U, married to a Korean man who beat her

Japanese member, Ms. K, was forced to marry Korean man she did not like

Yuka Nakamura, a Unification Church member in Korea, recently took her own life

The ‘True Father’ who could not forgive: “I haven’t been able to release my grudge towards Japanese people yet.” November 2011

Moon personally extracted $500 MILLION from Japanese sisters in the fall of 1993. He demanded that 50,000 sisters attend HIS workshops on Cheju Island and each had to pay a fee of $10,000.

FFWPU / UC of Japan used members for profit, not religious purposes

“Apology marriages” made by Japanese UC members to Korean men

The Atsuko Kumon Hong “suicide / murder” of August 2013

Annexation of Korea – some facts and a song

Top Japanese ex-UC leader, Yoshikazu Soejima, interviewed

The original Japanese text is here: http://mimizun.com/log/2ch/ms/1003978299/

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 226: Oh Shit We’re Caught Up

Previously on BnHA: The still-captured Giran warned Re-Des that the League wasn’t going to give a shit about rescuing him, and reminded him that if the League sicced a Noumu on the Army they were as good as dead. But Re-Des was all “nah they don’t have any Noumus to sic at the moment” and give an annoyingly thorough summary of his deductive reasoning. Meanwhile in the town, Kizuki, a.k.a. the Rita Skeeter of BnHA, pestered Toga for an interview. She seemed to have done her research, too -- she knew Toga’s age, and that she ran away from home after graduating middle school. None of Toga’s friends or family saw it coming, apparently, and Kizuki -- whose quirk allows her to turn anything she touches into a bomb -- wanted to know the deal. She allowed Toga to suck up some of her subordinates’ blood, then promptly exploded it. She then asked Toga why she’d abandoned her normal life. In response, Toga smiled one of her crazy smiles and was all “a normal life? what’s that?” Lol okay. Anyway, the last few pages were peppered with as-yet-unexplained flashback scenes, so I’m guessing we’re about to find out just what makes this girl tick at long last.

Today on BnHA: We explore Toga’s backstory in a series of flashbacks. Basically her quirk gave her a fascination for blood which her quirk counseling never properly addressed, and so one day she just snapped and killed a dude. But she was such a cute little kid though. Whatever Toga I still love you. Anyway, so back in the present, Kizuki tries to psychoanalyze Toga and makes her out to be a victim of a society that doesn’t have a place for her. Kizuki says that Toga will become a martyr for the Liberation Army’s cause. But Toga is all “fuck that” and breaks free of Kizuki’s clutches, transforming into Ochako using the last of the blood she took back during the forest arc. Kizuki mocks the seemingly useless transformation, stating that she knows Toga can only change her appearance on the outside. Unfortunately for Kizuki, this isn’t entirely the case, as it’s revealed that while transformed, Toga is able to use the quirks of whoever she turns into. She proceeds to float Kizuki way up into the air and then release her, splattering her onto the ground. Like, she’s definitely dead now, oh shit. Anyways so it’s pretty awesome, albeit grisly as all heck. Now to wait for the rest of the League to follow suit and kick some Liberation Army ass.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 226, which, wait, this is chapter 226. Oh shit lol. But I’m posting this a week after I first read the chapter so any ETAs will reflect that.)

okay so we’re opening with a flashback to a news story or something?

injured but didn’t kill? that doesn’t sound like the Toga we all know and love :’)

hey what the

is Toga not her real name??? didn’t we get confirmation from Gran Torino back during the Pizza Delivery mission? what’s up with that

(ETA: this is really weird, though. they never once refer to her by name during any of the flashback scenes. maybe this is just for stylistic purposes? I don’t think her name is supposed to be any sort of big secret but who knows?)

anyway so yeah

that just means she lub him, guys. that’s just how she is. poor Saito

(ETA: btw Caleb Cook pointed out on his Twitter that this looks to be the Deku lookalike from the previous chapter. so if he was one of AFO’s kids, that’s kind of interesting that AFO had no issue with Tomura hiring his son’s killer later on. I don’t personally think there was any AFO relation though.)

oh wow

rude. that’s my best girl you’re talking about. she’s just a little vampirish, what? Vlad King can make people’s blood fucking do tricks, and you don’t see anyone accusing *him* of being devil spawn. smh

awwwww

cats do this all the time and people fucking love cats! I’m telling you, these are double standards!

oh hey we’re back in the present

so Kizuki is all “so you think you’re living normally? lol you weirdo” basically

and she’s looking at the smiling blood-covered Toga and is all “so this is your ‘true face’“

she’s calling her “the very embodiment of the dark side of superhuman society.” girl what

okay look, I’m not saying Toga doesn’t have a screw or two loose. and yes, she is very fond of blood. but if we’re going to call someone the literal embodiment of the dark side of society then can I interest you in a few other choice candidates, though?? Toga is what we like to call Mostly Evil. there’s a big difference between Mostly Evil and All Evil! Mostly Evil is Slightly Good! whereas with All Evil, well, with All Evil there’s usually only one thing you can do. (accuse them of being the protagonist’s Secret Dad.)

anyways

nooooo my sweet demented child is coughing and teetering onto the ground

jesus it’s almost like she’s been FUCKING BLOWN UP FROM THE INSIDE OUT good grief

and now Kizuki is all “you poor thing.” hey Kizuki you can fuck off right now thanks

HEY

LADY UNLESS YOU WANT TO CATCH THESE HANDS YOU HAD BETTER STEP AWAY FROM MY POOR HURT CHILD AND STOP TOUCHING HER FUCKING FACE

-- oh shit, though!!

[flips open notebook; clicks pen] don’t mind me lady please continue

I mean, I would imagine one of the goals of the program would be to embrace the fact that you’re different. that’s hardly an isolating thing in a society like this one where everyone is so unique that the established word for their superpowers literally means “individuality”

(ETA: on a reread, it actually sounds like the program is intended to do just the opposite of that and the goal is to get everyone to fit in. how the hell they expect to accomplish that in a society where everyone has wacky abilities is beyond me! no wonder the program has issues if this really is the case though.)

but anyways I’m sorry to interrupt, please keep talking about quirk counseling and how it didn’t work for Toga while I sit here and quietly take my notes

you guys oh no she’s too damn cute. I can’t

oh boy

?? and why the hell not, though? sure it might freak some people out that she likes her steaks a little rarer than most, but I don’t see why they couldn’t have accommodated this the same as any other quirk. people donate blood all the time; couldn’t she have gotten a legal supply for her own medical needs? the live animals and such are a bit weird, true, but again, it’s not all that different from what your cat would get up to given half the chance. I feel like they could have found other outlets for her to channel some of that bloodlust, while helping to sate any physical cravings with the aforementioned donated blood supply. if you ask me, whoever counseled her dropped the ball honestly

(ETA: and her parents, too. this makes me want to rewatch the first season of Dexter actually. too bad Toga’s parents weren’t like Dexter’s dad.)

anyway let’s watch society fail poor Toga

well that didn’t take long

see this seriously doesn’t make any sense to me though. IT’S QUIRK SOCIETY, GUYS. NO ONE IS FUCKING NORMAL. WHY CAN’T YOU BE BETTER PARENTS. HOW ABOUT THAT ONE THOUGH

I honestly can’t decide if I’m glad we got more insight into Toga’s headspace, or annoyed that they went and gave her Secret Angst. the problem is I don’t think she needed Secret Angst in order to be a good character, or a likable one. I’m not so sure I really like the implication here that It’s Not Toga’s Fault, Because Society Failed Her. like, I’ve talked about my feelings on this kind of thing before. I prefer It Is Her Fault But She Owns It Though. just because I like when characters take responsibility for their own shit and it’s not just excused or handwaved

but on the other hand, Toga is the type of character who doesn’t need redemption so much as rehabilitation. so it is good to get some kind of an idea as to why she went off the rocker, in that respect. idk. I have mixed feelings, maybe by the time I post this recap I’ll have sorted it out more in my head lol

(ETA: yeah so after reflecting on it some more, it’s more like she was always the way she is, and was just repressing it, and then one day got tired of repressing it. being told she should act one way when she felt like her true self was someone totally different. so it’s not really “society fucked her up” so much as “she was already a little kooky and they just failed to properly address it until it was too late.” so that’s fine, I guess. it’s about what I expected. and hey, at least we got some cute Baby Toga scenes out of the bargain, so.)

anyway now Toga’s making to stab Kizuki and shouting at her to shut up. oh damn

OH DAMN

(ETA: oh you might want to be careful with that Detnerat merch though, lady. seems to be on par with Hammer Tech in terms of reliability.)

DID YOU BLOW UP TOGA’S FUCKING FACE HOLY FUCK

HOLY SHIT SHE REALLY DID

if that’s the case then why are you guys trying to kill her

oh for fuck’s

said sacred text will gloss over exactly how she died though, I suppose? you guys are such fucking hypocrites. you act like you’re the saviors of the world bringing freedom to everyone, but those ideals only seem to hold up so long as they’re convenient. “blah blah blah society is so evil and doesn’t care about people like you. meanwhile we will straight up murder your ass, but never fear, your death will help ensure that no one else has to endure the cruelty of this apathetic world”

like, imagine beating someone with a stick, while screaming at them about how society wants to beat them with a lot more sticks just like this, but not to worry though because their death will make sure no more people get beaten to death with sticks by society. I’m really bad with metaphors you guys, but do you feel me though? just, fuck these guys so hard

I like that Kizuki apparently seems to think Toga is actually dead, though, because honestly. she should be, lol

...or maybe she doesn’t think that, because now she’s asking Toga to correct her if she made any mistakes with her conjectures

and Toga is rolling out of her grasp and ducking off!

GO TOGA!! RUN LIKE THE WIND! I DON’T LIKE HER EITHER! EXACTLY, YOU’RE NOT UNFORTUNATE, THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING. she’s trying to make you out to be some helpless little victim, but it’s like, bitch, she chose to be evil in order to live her best life so go fuck yourself

TOGAAAAAA

THANK YOU!!! FUCK OFF WITH THAT SECRET ANGST BULLSHIT. STOP ACCUSING HER OF FAKING IT LIKE YOU KNOW HER SO DAMN WELL

she says that just as everyone else kisses people that they like, she sucks blood from the people she likes

EYYYYYYYYY

YESSSSSSSSS TOGA THIS IS WHY YOU’RE MY BEST GIRL

oh my god. okay so someone sent me an anon ask early Thursday afternoon (ETA: this was last Thursday April 25; I read the chapter on the 26th) to the effect of “the mystery has been solved; she CAN use quirks”, so I’m getting an inkling that we’re about to see Toga do some zero gravity bullshit and I’m here for it. but unfortunately I’m spoiled for it. please give me time to read the new chapters when they come out, guys. since I’m writing down my reactions, I’m not able to just read the manga on my phone as soon as chapters come out; the whole process takes me a good hour or two usually, and I prefer to read on my computer since the keyboard comes in handy when I’m typing out a novel in response to whatever bullshit is happening lol. so with work and everything, that usually means I don’t get around to it until the late afternoon/evening most of the time

anyways I know I probably sound bitchy but it’s not really a big deal. but I just wanted to bring this up now, because if and when Horikoshi finally reveals Kacchan’s hero name 17 years from now and I get spoiled on that before I read it, that’ll be a different story lol. I will rampage, guys. or more likely I’ll just learn to turn my asks off on Thursdays and Fridays until the chapter is read! anyways!

-- hold up, quick question, can Toga heal herself by transforming into someone else?? it just occurred to me, and I need to know right this instant

so Kizuki is all “I see, you keep a stock of blood!” and I was like “duh” but then I remembered Kizuki didn’t read the Basement arc. so

oh

well that answers that. shoot

-- except hold up, again! because Spoiled Me knows that’s not actually the case! she can use quirks too! so maybe it can heal her. I mean, this lady didn’t even know until one chapter ago that Toga used blood to transform, so I don’t know where she’s getting all this “I’m well aware!” bullshit from. you don’t know shit

so she’s laughing and mocking Toga and saying she probably just wanted to look cute when she dies

...I mean, I was about to get indignant, but in all honestly why did Toga transform into her though?

so basically she transformed into her because she envies her? is that why she listed her on her list of People She Officially Likes?

but her saying that she wants to get closer to the person she loves makes me think she hasn’t given up. if she’s anything like All Might (you know, because everyone is always comparing Toga to All Might), thinking about Izuku is probably helping motivate her to stay alive!

lol, yep

and oh shit I think the thing is happening!!

holy fucking shit, wait up. I was all “so what, she’s going to float her to death?” and then it all of a sudden occurred to me just how fucking deadly Ochako’s power actually is, which I never thought about before because this deadly power was safely in the hands of the sweetest, kindest girl in existence who’s never tried to use it for anything remotely sinister aside from that one time she tried to crush Bakugou with hundreds of rocks

but like, she could float her all the way out into space, if she wanted! but the much more likely option, especially given that this is a series where falling from things actually hurts, is that she could simply float her up and then fucking splatter her on the ground holy shit

aaaaaaand up she goes!

yeah that’s right lady. “only her appearance changes” my ass

holy shit

SHE’S ALREADY SO HIGH, HOLY FUCK THIS IS TERRIFYING SHE REALLY IS GOING TO DROP HER ISN’T SHE

now she’s running around and tagging all the rest of them too!

holy shit!!!! I can’t! my brain’s going like a mile a minute because not only did Toga just get 1000% deadlier, but Ochako did too, retroactively! and just, so much newfound respect and awe for my girls

HOLY SHIT

SHE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW??! you seriously never once realized this this entire time??

quirk counseling has failed her in more ways than one. she could have gone to U.A.! she could have made an amazing hero. honestly she still could aside from the fact that she doesn’t want to. (and also, y’know. the murders. and such)

ahhhh now she’s coughing up blood, so I guess that’s a no on the “can she heal” question then

honestly that makes no sense if it only transforms her on the outside. half of the outside is based off of what’s inside! if you’re changing appearances that should mean your entire body transforms. particularly if she can use quirks! it means her DNA is transforming too

but whatever, for the sake of enjoying the story I’ll just shut up about this now though

anyway so Kizuki is all “it can’t be”, just as thousands of villains have said before her, usually immediately after it was incontrovertibly proven to them that Yes It Can Be Though

she’s asking if Ochako’s quirk got stronger just now because of her fear of death

and Toga is all “nope”

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

SHE DID FUCKING SPLATTER HER, HOLY SHIT!? HORIKOSHI “LET’S CHOP OFF ALL FIVE OF HIS FINGERS!” KOUHEI STRIKES AGAIN

and fucking lol at Toga thinking she’s just like Izuku because her body is all beaten up and dying. :’D Deku you’re such a terrible role model

and so I guess she’s fully on board with Tomura’s whole “destroy everything” plan now, then. well shit. I wonder how quickly they’ll be able to heal her up. what with her being so absurdly powerful all of a sudden, I wonder if her injuries will have a lasting effect on her ability to use her quirk, similar to what happened to Aizawa after USJ. might be a good idea honestly

lastly, “cute is evil” makes absolutely no sense, but damned if I’m not 100% on board with that slogan. just something about it that I like. or maybe it’s just due to the context here, lol. whatever it is, I’d buy a coffee mug with that printed on it

and here we go. so that’s it for new chapters until May 10th or thereabouts. if only there was something coming out in the interim that could tide my superhero cravings over. like a new Avengers movie or some shit. lol

(ETA: I have to hand it to Endgame, it’s done its job distracting me and then some. I’ve seen it twice now and it’s just as devastating the second time! I’m just about finished working my way through the five stages of grief now though, so we’re good. but now that I’m done wallowing, I need my villain arc to come along and cheer me up again. come on Tomura. do your thing boy.)

[soysaucednd]

Traveling in D&D: How TF do you do it?

Hey, GM here! Have you ever had trouble figuring out what to do with a party of adventurers to get them from point A to point B? This post is for you. I will provide my strategies for getting players from one place to the next, along with links to where I learned some of them and my general thoughts on the matter.

Travel is an interesting problem in Dungeons and Dragons. It has to happen pretty much until the party has gotten to the point where they can use magical teleportation, but it can quickly feel formulaic and boring if handled incorrectly, and I know I have been at fault for making travel insufferable many times as a DM. In a campaign I am running, the party is about to embark on a 500 mile journey to a far-off city, so I wanted to see what I could think of for making the sessions about the journey rather than the destination.

One way I am thinking of trying to make travel more interesting is to use it as an opportunity to solidify and showcase the worldbuilding I as a DM have spent hours upon hours working on. Letting them discover areas that are of historical and mythological significance. For example, in my campaign there is a legend of a war that was won by a King Arthur like figure from the nation’s past that unified the country, and one of my towns is said to be where he fought a great beast and his shield shattered to pieces. Adventurers have tried to find the pieces, believing that the shield held great magical power. Or, I have a town where my big bad was raised that has information about her backstory if the party digs deep enough there. Spend some time figuring out what interesting pieces of lore you can tie to locations on your adventure

Secondly, I want to give my players to feel like travel is a real part of the game rather than an intermission.

In my experience there are two types of travel in Dungeons and Dragons: on the road, and wilderness. I’ll start with On the Road.

Things I count as on the road traveling are moving from one town to another on a main road, moving within a town itself, and traveling through areas where they have accurate maps, even if it is a wilderness area. Generally, what ties these together is that they are along a clear path towards a clear goal.

Generally, if I am running travel on the main road of a kingdom, I will have already made a basic map of my world, with the significant towns and the main roadways and some information about each, along with a d20 table with a few encounters that is balanced in a way that matches how dangerous you want this path to be. This way, if the players are traveling from one place to another place far away (such as from a provincial town they’ve just liberated from bandits to the capital city of the realm), I can add actual settings in between as they pass by other towns and cities on the way. Instead of filling the road with combat encounters, I can usually assume that it is fairly safe beyond possibly a few highwaymen, and use the golden rule of “skip the boring parts.” They arrive in the new town they’ve never seen, there are some plot hooks, new NPCs, and mysteries to be solved, or they can press on. This same basic rule applies to travel within cities.

For on the road travel in a wilderness setting, I usually add more plot hooks like the goblin attack from Lost Mines of Phandelver onto the path rather than have towns and cities on the way. Players can discover a mini-adventure on their way, that way they feel like they are discovering things rather than being stopped and diverted from their goals by force.

Next is Wilderness Travel. This type of travel is aimless and simply for discovering areas they do not know about. It is often far more dangerous, and I like to prepare different encounters based on the dangers that might be in the environment the players have found. These can range from encounters the party will have little trouble with to encounters designed to force the players to run away.

Encounters can, of course, mean any number of things. Traps left by hunters, beasts to battle, areas to explore, temples to old gods, you name it. I generally err on the side of showing them a path to follow and letting them choose whether to bite, which helps the world feel more real and reinforces the idea that the players are not the center of the universe. In my games, I try to make the players feel as though they are acting upon a world that isn’t shaped by their actions until they pass around 15th level. For instance, if the party is ambushed by a large group of bandits, they feel like they are important, that the bandits have sent their entire encampment to kill them. If the party instead fights maybe three bandits and through that they find a path that leads to the encampment where 15 more are camping, they feel more like they are discovering the inner workings of their environment rather than being acted upon by them. They are simply passers-by in a world with its own culture and its own systems of life that don’t necessarily care about the heroes.

To me, wilderness travel is an opportunity to remind your heroes that the world is a big and scary place, and that they are not all powerful. In my experience, wilderness travel is a great opportunity for vivid descriptions and attempts to disorient or unsettle your party using the environment. Missteps or bad survival rolls can and should remind the players that they are mortal. I don’t usually like to track food and water, but this is an opportunity to explore how the party will react to food and water supplies dwindling, or attempts by creatures to steal their food during the night. Encountering and battling dangerous beasts is only one way to remind the players that the world is not tamed by their existence, and will crush them if given the chance.

The other main strategy I have seen for wilderness travel is the concept of skill challenges (thank you to Matthew Colville on youtube for this idea). I have yet to try this in a game, but his concept is to have each player justify the use of one of their skills (ex: a ranger rolling survival checks to forage for food) over the course of the journey. Then, depending on the length of the journey, you have them roll a specific number of skill checks and track the successes and failures based on a DC you determine. Based on the number of failures among the group, you decide on an encounter for them, harder for each failure. As I said, I have not used this method, but it is something I want to try the next time my party heads into the wilderness to search for adventure.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvQ2JgZIjVI) Here is a link to Matt’s video on making travel interesting, I would highly recommend watching it and his other videos.

A final note, don’t be afraid to simply say “you get there” if your party goes off in a direction you haven’t planned for. It’s better to skip to the next section where you have content than to scramble to create a whole world for them to travel through. Not all sections of your adventure should have Lord of the Rings style epic escapades, but if you have the time to prepare and write down a mini-adventure on the open road, I would highly recommend it.

TL;DR

ON THE ROAD

Plan out the path that the players are taking. Know what they might encounter on the way.

Make d20 tables for encounter hooks that scale to how dangerous you want your environment to be.

Emphasize hooks over encounters. Let the players see something they can explore and decide whether to bite on it rather than stopping the adventure dead for a moment to have combat for the sake of something to do. (Remember the goblin ambush at the beginning of The Lost Mines of Phandelver?)

For long journeys, have them discover towns and cities on the way where mysteries and adventures are available for them to follow.

Weave your worldbuilding into the journey. What important historical events might be tied to your locations? Are there any myths that might be centered around a specific locale?

WILDERNESS

Make d20 tables that include a wide range of difficulty for encounter hooks.

Remind the players they are insignificant compared to the environment, and the world would keep going without them.

Make some encounters that are designed for the players to run away from. They are not the mythical heroes of old, and some things can and will kill them.

Again, weave some worldbuilding into the areas you explore. Are there legends of specific monsters in the area? Are there ancient artifacts or locations told of in myth?

Explore the concept of skill challenges from Matt Colville (who knows it better than I do. I’ve just seen it as a common strategy.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvQ2JgZIjVI

IN GENERAL

Don’t be afraid to skip travel if you don’t feel confident writing encounter hooks and lore.

Steal and alter encounter hooks without shame.

Discuss with your table how they like travel to be run. Run through your idea on how to do travel with the party so they know what to expect. Just generally stay on the same page and make sure your party will enjoy what you are giving them.

If you and your party are having fun, you are doing it right. I am writing this post because I want to toy with ideas on how to run travel in my games, and provide a resource for people who might be having trouble.

If you made it here, thank you for reading! If this was helpful, please give it a like and a reblog, and respond with your ideas on travel in D&D! Maybe some stories from times your party has been on a long journey.