#watching the life drain out of their eyes as i hand them a comic

[ahfrickenfrick]

one of my best friends is kinda getting into DC, and they are watching the cw flash show

and watching their heartbreak as i reveal to them that barry is canonically a blonde in the comics, and the west family are all white and gingers,,, it was a beautiful experience

[d6volution]

you, a little mime, just trying to keep quiet and stay out the way in this new and strange world, but the ringmaster doesn't seem to be too fond of your silence.

tags: afab reader x caine, dubious consent, fingering, creepy caine.

Caine hummed, straighting his tie in the mirror as he prepared himself to look his utmost best before introducing today's new adventure!

"Now, you see Bubble, as ringmaster I have to look absolutely prepared for any situation. That includes—" He turned to face bubble, squeezing his tie as it squirted water from it directly into the bubbles face. "Perfectly prepared to put a potential fire!~" He laughed at his own wacky joke, slapping knee in the process. "I don't see how that would really—"

"Quiet bubble!" Caine hushed his friend simply by scooping him into his hat. "Don't you hear that?"

Absolute silence.

"Exactly, I'm 2 minutes late for the introduction today!" He appeared in front of the digital circus crew in the blink of an eye.

What he didn't notice was the lonely mime hiding away in the corner.

So without a moments delay the ringmaster began yapping away until pomni awkward raised her hand.

"Uh.. Caine?"

"Yes, my colorful friend how can I help you!?" He pointed his Caine at the jester.

"Uh.. well— weee... sorta have a new member." Pomni pointed at the corner where you were hiding out.

"OH! Oh, dear! How rude of me! Why don't you come out, my dear, we don't bite!" Just then bubble suddenly popped from his hat without warning to quietly add, "Heh.. I do.." Caine rolled his eyes, "Come now, don't be shy!"

"Maybe you're just being too loud Caine, they seem a bit.. overwhelmed." Ragatha added with a reassuring chuckle, attempting to ease the uneasiness you were feeling.

"ME? LOUD? NEVER!"

With all eyes on you, it seemed like you had no choice but to stand up, gloomy as ever, and finally walked towards the crowd.. your colors seemed washed out compared to everyone else's, which in turn made you stand out a lot.

"Well then, what's your name? Or perhaps you need a new one!" Caine's voice seemed to drown out , you weren't listening to a word he was saying nor did were you planning on replying.

"Ah.. a quiet one then? No matter! I'm sure you'll open up in no time!" With his usual gleeful act he spun into the air.

"Now then! Where was I!?"

Caine did his usual spiel about the adventure, keeping his eye on you most of the time. You could feel his eyes on you, and it only causes you to curl in on yourself even more, attempting to make yourself less noticeable.

"Alright then! Off with you lot!~"

Just then, Jax popped up next to you comically , draping an arm around your shoulder as if you were old pals. "Get all that new kid?" You blinked a few times. "Yeah, yeah.." He seemed to fill in the spots where you'd normally be expected to reply. "Caine's a riot .....but, hey.. I'm sure you'll do juuusst fine.. heh." He was getting a kick from your expressions. They succeeded in doing all the talking for you.

You looked up, expecting the charismatic leader to still be floating in the air but he vanished.. you felt relief flood your body, the way he was eying you early made you feel.. uneasy.

The day was.. eventful to say the least.

You're relieved that no one really forced you to speak, opting for nodding yes and no instead.

See, you can speak.. you can you just haven't felt inclined to ever since you arrived here. It was strange, staying silent.. selectively mute almost. Right? Perhaps it had something to do with your new body. You looked like a sad little mime, after all.

"Hey , mime person— thing watch out!" Pomni rushed past you, and you failed to notice until now that all of the props in the circus came to life and chased everyone around. It was utter chaos, and you did beneath a table until someone finally found the solution to getting them back to normal.

Thanks, Ragatha.

All in all, it was an exceptionally draining day.

You followed behind the crowd at a distance, and gangle tried to close the gap a bit to make you feel more welcome in her own .. introverted way. Silently, you appreciated it..

....?

To your left, there was a stray floating eyeball watching closely as you walked by. Not the crowd ahead of you.. just you.

A shiver went up your spine.. surely it was just ! ... one of the props from earlier you all forgot to tame , yeah.. had to be.

You all had the infamous digital dinner, and headed back to your quarters.

So this is what life would be like now?

No— no, you can't give into that idea so easily it has to be a dream— "Oof! Eyes up here dear! Wouldn't want to get hurt now do we?"

Two large gloved hands rested on your shoulders and steadied you. Blinking away the dizziness you looked up, .. Caine!

Immediately you stumbled back and out of his grip before falling onto your ass, you winced quietly but not quietly enough that Caine didn't notice.

"Ahh, so you can make noise! Here I thought your vocal cords were— well who knows! Glad to see their working my dear! Now, I think it's best we get to know each other a little better."

He yanked you back up unceremoniously and you sucked in a breath at the suddenness of it all. But.. still you didn't respond.

"Oh, don't be modest my dear you can speak to your hearts content little one!" It was starting to sound more like a command if anything but you shook your head and attempted to walk past him to get to the safety to your room instead.

You don't know why you expected this to work, he appeared right in front of you causing you to plant into his chest face first.

"Ah, of course ! You must be excited to show off your new room hmm?" He opened up the door and moved aside causing you to stumble in, losing your footing you planted face first on the carpet. Caine's eyes lingered on your rear end for a moment too long before you finally gathered your bearings.

He cleared his throat. "Hm."

How awkward. Your eyes tried to look everywhere but him, the wall the floor the little knick knacks that adorned your dresser.

Without warning the ring master gripped your waist with both hands, sending a shiver up your spine and another pathetic sound left your lips.

"My, my I think I MAY have cracked the code~!" He grinned and allowed his hands to pull you in closer, hands snaking up your waist just along the swell of your clothed breast. You made another sound.

The prick was toying with you just to get some noise out of you.

"Humans are sensitive here arent they? What silly little creatures you are!" Another beat and his gloved hands cupped your breasts squeezing them without holding back.

"S.. Stop..." You finally spoke up, bit it was hardly a whisper.

"Hmm? I couldn't quite hear you dear!" His pupils were blown wide, and for a moment you felt relief as his hands trailed away from your breast and down to the hem of your shirt instead.

You thought it was over, until a cool breeze hit your now bare breast. The bastard yanked your top upwards and immediately started tweaking and pinching your nipples, causing them to harden. You whimpered and shook your head, scrambling in his grip which only seemed to tighten.

You could feel hot his breath hitting your neck.

" ...please.."

"What a darling voice you have dear, what a shame you want to keep it from everyone! ... why don't you let me hear a bit more, hmm?" He asked, voice laced with desperation now. He'd lost the original reasoning of why he was doing this, right now he just wanted to hear more of your pretty voice.

Yes, the voice that made his slacks tighten and his breathing to become heavy.

He needed more, and you'd have no choice but to give the ring master what he wanted.

"How about here?" He inquired , removing one hand from your chest and cupped your sex instead. Fingers rubbing along your clothed folds.

"Nh...!" Your eyebrows furrowed, it was so hard not to give in. Not to make noise, you didn't know how long you'd be able to last.

Your knees were getting weak , buckling in on themselves. He held your body close to his as you both slid to the floor unceremoniously. Caine used this to his advantage and hunched overtop of you, your face pressed to the floor and ass in the air now.

Your head felt dizzy and your legs trembled.

His gloved hand ran along your ass before it giving it a slap, and you yelped. Causing him to shudder in delight. "Oh dear me! My hand seems to have a mind of its own." He looked at his hand accusingly, before it rested on your behind just for a moment.

He lingered in silence , debating his next move. His thoughts so were jumbled right now, but he couldn't help himself. After this.. he'd stop, yes just this last thing.

He yanked your bottoms down and you immediately scrambled and tried to sit up , but he pushed a gloved hand on your back to keep you still. "Now, now none of that. You've been very stubborn up until now my dear. It's only fair you receive a little more punishment, yes?" He sounded amused, desperate and absolutely delighted all at once.

"N.. No.. no.." You whined, but your body was hot and secretly wanting more. Release.. something.

"SEE! Look how far you've come, speaking more words now then you have all day!" He chuckled before plunging a finger into your wet sex. You gasped, back arching and your gummy walls tightening around his finger. "Hmn.. there we are

..." He hummed and thrusted his finger in and out, your soft pants were enough to keep him satiated at the moment.

After a few moments, he slipped in another finger, and you reached back, grabbing his wrist, trying to push him away, shaking your head.

But he wouldn't let up, his fingers were slamming into your sex , the room filling with the wet sounds your sloppy cunt was producing.

This was wrong.. right? But it felt so good, too good. Your body was on fire. You couldn't think about anything besides the fingers pummeling in and out of you, secretly wishing it was something bigger.

"Please— g-gonna.. hhaa.." Your body locked up, tightening around his fingers and spasming like crazy. He seemed amused at how fast the coil inside of you seemed to snap. Still his fingers moved , his other hand gently caressing your back as you yelped and pleaded because of the overstimulation.

He watched you tremble and whine for a few seconds more before finally removing his fingers, licking them clean with his oversized tongue.

Your breathing was returning to normal, but your body still felt tingly buzzing with the aftershock of pleasure.

"See? I knew you could do it! perhaps more exercises like this would be helpful, don't you think?" It was a rhetorical question, not like you'd answer anyways. Caine pulled your pants back up, leaving you in your sticky clothes, but at least not naked for all the world to see.

"OH DEAR! Would you look at the time!? You'd better get some rest dear , wouldn't want to be late to tomorrow's adventure, would you?" He winked, and just like that, he was gone.

[blue-sadie]

Hurting

Anakin x Wife Reader

Summary: watching the life drain from the one you love hurts the most

Warning: reader death

Yn/3rd person pov

I sat on the porch watching as the suns began to set, the sky was filled with different hues of blue and yellow I could never get bored of this.

I let out a relaxed breath as I stood up to continue my afternoon routine making sure that the house was clean and a portion of food in the fridge incase anakin decides to come home.

But most of the time I just end up eating it for breakfast the next morning I stopped at one of the framed photos I had of us smiling lightly as I traced my finger up and down the frame.

It was the day we got married on naboo on the hillside, "goodnight my love" I whispered before making my way to get ready for bed.

As I put on my silk nightie I heard the sound of a nearing ship, I quickly grabbed my blaster that was on my night stand and hid by the door peaking at the front door.

I was always taught to be cautious, my breathing quickened as I heard a pair of footsteps comics to the door, I aimed my blaster toward the door and held my breath intill I heard it.

The rustling of keys and the door being unlocked, the door opened revealing a tired anakin, I threw the blaster to the floor before rushing into his arms.

"I missed you" I squealed as I hugged him tightly "I missed you too" he murmured softly and kissed my forehead.

My body shivered when I pulled away "how long are you staying" I asked and slowly urged him to the kitchen table.

He gave me a side smile before telling me "a month or two" my jaw dropped "really" I squealed, my heart beating in excitement he hasn't stayed that long in years.

he pulled me in and kissed me passionately "i fully get to spoil my girl" he grinned against my lips and grabbed my hips and hoisted me up making me wrap my legs around him and carried me to our bedroom "time for some long awaited fucking"

-Time skip-

I slowly flattered my eyes open as I stretched my limbs out expecting to come in contact with a warm body but nothing "ani" I called out worryingly and moved to get out of bed in till i saw a small note on my bedside table.

"My love, I've quickly ran to town to get somethings to make you breakfast ill be back soon" i smiled and grabbed my robe that was next to the bed to cover myself as i got up.

I wondered through the house which seemed brighter and more lively since anakin had returned, i stared out our glass door, leaning up against the wall thinking about all the things we could do.

"shh" i straightened up as i heard a clutter from outside "you shh you shit head" an unfamiliar voice said, i quickly hid by the counter grabbing the blaster that was on the counter.

"your the one that wanted to rob this stupid place" there was 6 of them outside i peaked around the corner to see my bag with my intercom.

i took a deep breath and dashed for it, grabbing it and tearing through it to find the radio "ani" i whispered pushing myself back against the island "ani i need you".

"Is something wrong" i cringed at the loudness of the speaker "someone is trying to br-" I froze as i heard them shatter glass "I think I heard someone boss" one of them spoke gruffly "fan out and find them" my breathing started to quicken as i moved to get to safety.

"Ani hurry please" I begged into the radio and screamed as I was grabbed by my leg and dragged out into the open and wacked the blaster out my hands "looky looky" i tried kicking to get away but one of the others came and held me down.

"Are you alone" the one holding me down "like you every night" i spat in his face, he growled and grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled making me scream out in pain.

He pulled out a blaster and held it against my temple "maybe this will help" he muttered "is there anyone else here" he asked again, i bit my lip and shook my head.

He grinned widely "good girl" my insides turned in disgust as those words left his lips "boss" one of his accomplices ran into the room scared "what" "someones coming" the boss growled and pulled me with him as he looked out the window.

"Well looks like you'll have a purpose after all" he growled and pulled me against him with his blaster to my head as he moved us to the hallway in front of the door.

Anakin burst through the door with his light saber drawn his face frantic as he saw me "let her go" anakin growled his eyes never leaving my capturers blaster.

"I don't think so jedi" the mans grip tightened around me, then like a flash anakin went for the thieves and i stomped on the guys foot to get him to let me go.

"Yn here" anakin threw me a blaster which i used to shoot one of them in the head before getting tackled to the wall, "fuck you" i scream and head butted him him causing him to fall.

I shot him twice "fuck" i turned to anakin as i heard him yell in pain, my eyes widening as i see him holding his sides as he was surrounded by 2 of them.

I ran at them and shot one in the stomach and grabbed the other by the arm and twisting my body and using the force of it to send him to the floor "you ok" i asked ani hurriedly he nodded with pain his eyes slowly dragging from me to something behind me.

His face twisted to fear and as if in slow motion he tried reaching out for me but it was too late, my eyes widen as i felt something pierce my stomach, I watched as he threw he light saber to kill the person behind me "no" anakin screamed caught me as i fell.

I cried out in pain "stay with me" anakin muttered as his eyes started to water as he cradled me "a-ani" i stuttered my breathing started to sub side "you better stay with me" he cried.

His tears sliding down his face, I slowly reached up with the last of my strengthen wiping a few of them away "please" he begged and held my hand against his face kissing it softly.

"I-I l-love you a-ani" i coughed and groaned out as i tasted iron in my mouth "no no no" he muttered and pulled my dying body tightly against his but i could feel myself fading.

"Stay with me pleas-"

Tag.List

@neteyamyawne

@greekgods15

@sweetirilly

[tarjapearce]

A thought on Miguel

Ya know? Every time I see Miguel I think.

Man, this man needs a hug even if he says that's he's fine cause we know he's just bulshitting himself big time. Like, he's broken, his life was shit and the little thing that actually made him happy disappeared in his hands before his eyes.

Sometimes I think that Gabriela was that inflection point where he just realizes "Maybe  just maybe I can try happiness." (Cause c'mon. In the comics dude is abused emotionally by his own mother. Always comparing him and belittling him. And we know what happened to Gabriel. and his step dad is shit. )

Sometimes I like to think that Gabriela was his redemption to all those terrible bad years prior the incident. She was his purpose. And when he saw the chance, he didn't even hesitated into dive head first into it. His biggest mistake. Although pretty much understandable. None would overlook the chance of being better or happy or do things differently, right?

Sometimes I think He just wanted to be the father he never had. He just wanted to be the role model he never had, be that safe place for someone else that he never got. And that's why I think most of us empathize with him. Mostly for not saying all of us, (Kudos if you don't ♥️) have had situations that resembled Comic Miguel and Movie Miguel's life.

And when he loses Gabi, that's a turning point for the bad to him. His main motivation to be better, happier is gone.

Instead, he kinda twists that purpose Gabi gave him to protect the Multiverse he knows. Not that he doesn't care for the Spider Society members. He knows that all of them are there because they are more capable of handling themselves. They don't need protection, but they do need a role model, someone that guides them into not fucking up like he did.

That's why he is all grumpy, tired, emotionally drained and mentally exhausted. Cause he learned the consequences the hard way, but the rest is just cool about it. (Not cool in the 'I don't care way' but more like Just 'tell me what you need me to do and I'll do it, but my way' sort of thing.)

He didn't have the proper time to actually reflect on his mistakes, not that the multiverse is giving him any break though, He is Spiderman. He just knows that his mistake CANNOT be repeated. That's why he turns even more irritable, angry, fearful, all stemmed from self loathing for failing.

The man is depressed af. And we know, he overworks himself, he berates his own mind by watching over and over the screening videos of him and Gabi, he perpetuates guilt, but he cannot waver, cause he is a role model (A self imposed one) for the rest. He's not yet he is a martyr. He's not because he shares the common goal to keep Multiverse safe, but he is since said need to keep multiverse safe rooted from his big fuck up.

But dude has a savior complex. (I think this one suits better than martyr, dunno.)

And when Miles show up and does his thing, he sees all his convictions, motivations, his purpose, everything that drives him, threatened. And that's why lashed out the way he did on Miles.

That's his breaking point. I do not agree in the things he said to Miles though, we all know that he was just self projecting big time a good chunk of that dialogue. But he just wants to contain Miles at first, but the more Miles fights, the more everything he has worked for crumbles. An act of despair and fear disguised as anger, I like to think.

He is stunned cause damn, the menace to everything he has known and built so far just escaped from his hands before his eyes and again he was unable to stop it. (Another failure for him.)

He's a walking contradiction. Mistakes for him are not an option, but he can't help but make them along the way. Like most of us. And I think that's what makes him the most human among other Spiderman. And hopefully we can see more of him and how does he deals with all of that in the last movie.

But yeah, that's just my take on him.. Might be wrong, might be 🤡 or obvious but yeah. Needed to get that out.

[aka-indulgence]

Growing on Him

Thank you @cams4 for commissioning! This was really cute to write! /w\

(UT!Sans x Original Female Character, UT!Papyrus & OC Her name is Calypso, she’s a green mage with plant magic :D)

Sans thought he wouldn’t fall in love. Thought he’d be too lazy for it.

And then she came into his life and made his soul bloom with affection.

——————

Distant laughter. A lone skeleton sits in the kitchen.

Sans is alone. He feels as if the clouds are grey and the rain is pouring, but it isn’t. The sun was about to set. He watches the two of them- Papyrus and Calypso on their regular gardening.

“WOWIE! I LOVE PLANT MAGES!” He heard his brother cry, voice muffled through the window. “YOU FIXED MY OREGANOS SO QUICKLY! YOU KNOW I’M QUITE ATTACHED TO IT- YOU GOT THEM FOR ME, AFTER ALL!”

“Aww, thanks Papyrus!” Calypso smiles.

“OF COURSE! AND IF YOU’RE NOT TOO DRAINED RIGHT NOW CALYPSO, CAN YOU SHOW ME THAT… MAGIC TRICK AGAIN?”

“Again?” She sounded humorously taken aback. “You’ve seen it already!”

“I’LL NEVER GET TIRED OF IT, THAT’S A PROMISE!”

Sans’ brows furrows. She waves her hands, green light encompassing them. Her magic, sparkling and swirling, flows into the ground. Out of it sprouts a plant, from a hidden seed, and it grows and grows, climbing into the air, before a sunflower buds and blooms. Yes, both of them have seen it before, and Papyrus’ eyes bulge out of his sockets still.

And Sans still can’t hide the smile of wonder whenever he sees her magic. But that bittersweetness lingers in his ribcage.

He feels… lonely. Of course that should be easy to solve, with the merry air outside. He should go, Papyrus and Calypso had asked him to come in the first place, and yet here he was. In the kitchen. Alone. He feels distant, like he can’t really.

He lets out a long sigh and slides a hand down his face, frowning deeply.

god… i’m stupid.

He just had to go and fall in love with her, didn’t he? It was easy to love her, of course, but Sans had never had feelings for anyone, and now he’s excited, confused, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. For some reason something’s stopping him from just… going up to her and telling her how he feels.

… No, Sans knows why.

Being with Calypso… just the idea makes him feel like he could burst with joy, but he doesn’t know if she’d feel the same way about him.

It’s been about a year since Papyrus introduced her to him, when he brought a human stranger to the house. They’d apparently met during a city-wide gardening event. Papyrus had always mentioned wanting to do some gardening once he found out that was a thing humans do, but just like cooking, he was passionate but clueless, leading to the front of the house looking… untamed, to say the least. As soon as he spotted Calypso, demonstrating her magic, he’d immediately become fascinated. One mention of both overgrowing and dying plants followed by a multitude of questions led to them hitting it off, and after a few more meetings he decided to show her the garden- now much more disciplined and tame.

That’s when Sans met her.

Papyrus had told him that he was bringing his “plant friend” home. Sans was fine with that, Papyrus brings friends home all the time. (He’s so cool.) He’d spent most of the time in his room napping, watching his trashnado, scrolling on his phone. He thinks he heard the door open at one point, chalking up to Paps coming home. At one point he found himself thirsty and teleported into the middle of the kitchen- where Calypso and Papyrus were.

It was funny how surprised she was, crying out loud and almost throwing her fork clear into the air, which Papyrus catches instinctively.

“SANS! I TOLD YOU I HAD COMPANY OVER! YOU CAN’T JUST TELEPORT ALL OVER THE PLACE!”

The tap water ran.

“sounds like your problem, bro.”

As Papyrus starts (comically) chastising him, Sans chuckles, only to catch a glimpse of her.

For a moment it feels like the world slowed down. The water flowed slowly, sloshing in his cup. Papyrus was in the middle of opening his mouth, and Calypso looked… a little lost.

Even when he first saw her, Sans knew she was pretty. Her long wavy hair looked like golden waterfalls over her shoulders. Her emerald green eyes were soft and sparkled in the light, shining with kindness. She was smaller than Sans expected, shorter than him. She looked slender and delicate. Her smile was crooked with confusion, looking up at Papyrus before glancing at Sans.

Her expression shrank back as she timidly keeps the eye contact.

“... hey.”

“Oh! Um… hello!”

“the name’s sans.”

“Calypso! Nice to meet you.”

Sans nodded. “so, you here for a while? or are you going to leaf soon?”

“Um?? No I’ll be here for a while longer now,”

“SANS…” Papyrus squints at him. Sans ignores him.

“what? i asked her a valid question.” Sans insists, “just wanted to tree what she was doing is all.”

Sans smiled when she starts giggling, not expecting the pun, while Papyrus boiled.

“DON’T PLANT IDEAS IN HER HEAD- NOT PLANT! DON’T RUIN HER WITH YOUR BAD JOKES! ALSO YOUR CUP IS OVERFLOWING.”

“oh shit-” Sans frowned, water dripping down his phalanges as he hurriedly closes the tap. His cheeks turned blue from embarrassment, and he chuckled hesitantly, glancing at Calypso.

what’s wrong with him? why’s he stumbling?

“AND TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION-” Sans’ attention was brought back to Papyrus, “WE’RE GOING TO PLAY A BOARDGAME! DO YOU WANT TO JOIN?”

Calypso stayed a bit longer than they expected, after. Despite her not knowing Sans all that well yet, a little shy around him, after enough puns she seemed to warm up to him. Having Papyrus there certainly helped.

She became a regular in Sans’ life, her visitings becoming more often as time went on. Sans… tried to keep her at arm’s length. The way she made him feel was strange to him. It scared him. It helped him keep his cool around her, at least, if he was distant.

A green mage, specializing in plants. Her soul trait was practically worn on her sleeve, with how empathetic and kind she was- too much, in Sans’ opinion. She was a timid creature at times, but Sans admired her magical prowess and her capacity for compassion.

Sans would usually only meet her when she visited. The other times were when he and Papyrus bumped into her on accident.

Sans didn’t want to admit that the idea of meeting her gave him the motivation to walk.

She was interesting, sweet, and being a mage helped, but despite the confusing feelings rising up in his chest, Sans tried his best not to get too attached. As long as she was nice and made Papyrus happy, he was alright with having her around.

Then one day, she came alone. He was watching TV when he heard the knock. His first thought was that Papyrus was home but… Papyrus’ knocks were loud and aggressive. (Even though Sans tells him he doesn’t have to knock when he comes home, he does anyway.) As he walked towards the door he thought it might’ve been one of the neighbours, but when he opened the door he found…

“Um… hi!”

calyp…so pretty,

“Excuse me?”

He said that out loud.

“i meant- calypso! pretty sure there wasn’t a schedule for some gardening today.”

If she noticed his slip up, she didn’t mention it.

“Oh! Actually, we aren’t gardening today! Papyrus asked me to teach him some ‘human cooking’ today.”

Cooking?

“Is he here?”

“ah… no, papyrus isn’t home yet.”

“Oh ok… should I wait somewhere else-”

“no.”

… Sans said that too fast.

“you… you can just stay here.”

He really should’ve known, then. Even while his soul stammered when she walked in the door, his denial pushed the feeling down.

It took a while to adjust out of the awkward silence, without Papyrus acting as the buffer. But after a couple of puns, Sans managed to get a conversation going.

“so, you an expert cook?”

“Not really… but Papyrus invited me to meet Undyne the other day,”

undyne? uh oh.

“She had one of her ‘classic’ cooking lessons? And uh… well I thought I could teach him how to make human food.”

Sans barked out a laugh, covering his mouth.

“sorry, i’m not laughing at you, just… stars, i’m so sorry you had to see my bro cook with undyne.”

“Yeah… I had to hand wash the tomato sauce off my jacket for hours,” Calypso scratched the back of her neck, “But Papyrus thought it was an honor that he’s going to learn how to cook human food from a real human!”

They were laughing together when Papyrus opened the door, almost silently. When they finally noticed he was there, he was smiling at them.

Then there was that other day, when it was just Sans and Calypso, out of the house.

It was the first time Papyrus finally mentioned that Sans should start teleporting her home. Calypso declined, insisting to Papyrus that she didn’t need to be sent home. Sans doesn’t think she knew he was sitting on the sofa then, because she seemed speechless when he stood up and told her “i’ll go.”

Papyrus was supposed to come with, but a sudden phone call had sent him on an emergency dash to Undyne’s. Something about a watchalong?

“SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING TO REWATCH THE ‘HUMAN HISTORY’ VIDEOS! IF I DON’T SAY YES NOW SHE’S GOING TO LOSE ALL MOTIVATION, I MUST SAVE HER!”

By this point, Sans and her were close enough that they could be in each other’s company in silence without feeling like he was going to melt in sweat. Sometimes it was Sans that called her over, even.

They took the bus.

“yeah… i could teleport there based off coordinates from maps, but… i’d rather not risk the both of us clipping through the wall if i get my maths wrong.”

They were having a fun conversation filled with plant puns- she’d started to get into the habit of learning his puns and throwing them back at him, something he was proud of- when a buzz rudely interrupted their conversation. When Calypso fished her phone out and saw the screen, she made a face.

“what’s up?”

“Uh… I think my neighbour wants me to landscape her garden?”

“huh. that your side gig huh?” Sans smirked at her playfully, but frowns when she doesn’t respond, looking like she just ate a lemon.

“No… she asks me to do it for her sometimes…”

Sans narrowed his eyes. “does she pay you?”

Calypso looked guilty, her eyes shifting everywhere but Sans.

“It’s not like… it’s a lot. She’s nice, she’s not making me do anything, I just…”

“do you like doing it for her?”

Calypso opened her mouth, and the way she searches and loses her words is enough explanation for Sans.

“tell her no.”

Calypso stared at Sans like he just grew a second head. He shrugs and repeats his words.

“tell her no,”

“I can’t do that!”

“why not?”

Sans does feel a little guilty about distressing her, squeezing the bus pole harder than she needed to, but Sans doesn’t like that people would use her magic like that. He knows what it’s like to expend magic when you don’t want to, and… Calypso is nice. Too nice. It’s a testament to her green soul.

Sans sighed.

“... i can talk to her for you.”

The relief on her face betrayed her true feelings.

“R-really? I mean, you don’t… have to…”

“i’m coming over, aren’t i? it’s going to be fine. also, might as well throw you a bone.”

The pun surprised a laugh out of her, and Sans relaxed.

Just like he thought, nothing bad happened. Apparently the neighbour in question lived right next to her, and has regularly asked Calypso to help fix her garden once she found out she was a plant mage. She was a lovely old lady, actually, and all it took to convince her to stop was Sans explaining how draining it was to use magic so much, so regularly.

“hey,” Sans piped, as they stood in her doorway. “it’s ok to say no, you know. you gotta stand up for yourself more.”

She fidgeted (Sans really wanted to pinch her, then…), but nodded.

“heh, at least now you’ve got a quick-travel option for you,” Sans chuckled, pointing to himself as he turns around. “see ya ‘round, callie.”

Sans was moments from teleporting when he heard her asking him to wait.

When he turned around, she looked… bashful.

“Sans,” her eyes seemed to sparkle, “... thank you.”

Warmth flooded his ribcage, and magic rose to his cheekbones. His soul thumped.

“n… no problem.”

Sans felt like he was flying- and like his world was crashing around him when he got home.

shit.

i like her.

She was precious. Sans wanted to protect her. He wanted to be closer to her.

And he was clueless.

Which brings him to today. Sans feels stupid- feeling like he’s having a crisis because he has a crush? (On a lovely… pretty… wonderful human…) How did he never notice it? How did he not see it coming? When he thinks back to it, he remembers how the feelings festered in his soul- he was just stupid, or too deep in denial to acknowledge it.

Every time he’s around her… Sans felt like a stumbling baby just learning its first steps. He isn’t… cool. He’s a skeleton that smells like ketchup and makes puns. He doesn’t know how many people are in Calypso’s life, but he doesn't have to, to know that he’s probably not high on her list of suitors. Especially with the way he was absent and kept their conversations rare in the beginning, he didn’t go off to a good start.

Calypso is Papyrus’ friend. Sans didn’t want to cause a rift between the two of them because he had his first love crush. Their friendship was precious and Sans didn’t want to be the one that messes things up.

He wonders what’d happen if he confessed. What if she had trouble saying no to him? Would Sans lose her trust? Would he scare her? Just the thought made Sans recoil from the idea. And… what if she liked Papyrus? That’d make sense. Papyrus was cooler. They were close.

They’d walked in by this point, a piping hot plate of spaghetti set on the table. Sans doesn’t remember when they started cooking, staying quiet for most of it. Papyrus’ cooking was not only edible, but delicious too. Calypso had been a wonderful teacher.

She was amazing. Sans can’t stop looking- she was radiant, as always. He keeps his mouth shut while they talked, adding a “mm?” “yeah.” and “ok.” when prompted. His soul thumped whenever she was around and he hoped it wasn’t glowing past his shirt.

He felt embarrassed. And a little pathetic.

Sans doesn’t know what it is about today that has him in a funk like this. When Calypso said her goodbyes and turned to leave, he should’ve let her go home, as usual. That’s what he always does. But today, when the door closes, something in Sans reacts.

Before he knew it, he’d walked out the door. The sun had gone and the stars had started to peek out of the veil.

“cal?” He breathed, “calypso, wait. there’s something i need to tell you.”

She turns around, and Sans could feel his voice fading already.

why does she look at me like that? it makes me want to…

He swallows.

“i’m sorry, this is sudden, but i don’t think i can hold it back anymore, i just…”

The face Calypso was making makes Sans trip over his words.

“i like you, calypso.” Sans says, earnestly. “i like you… a lot. it’s ok, if you don’t like me back. i’ve felt this way for a while, and i feel like if i didn’t tell you, i’d… i don’t know. i want to let you know that when i’m quiet i’m not upset with you, that’s me trying to stop myself from looking like an idiot around you.”

Calypso is speechless.

“... please stay friends with papyrus.” Sans adds, trying to physically shrink into his hoodie. “if you don’t want me around anymore i-”

Hihihi!

Sans stops. Calypso… Calypso was giggling.

“You thought… I wouldn’t want you to like me?” she says, in between chortles.

“i… i guess…”

She’s covering her mouth and her cheeks have turned pink. “I thought I was being so obvious.”

“about what?”

She shakes her head at him, disbelieving.

“I like you too, Sans.”

The ringing in his head stops.

“you… you do?”

“I’ve liked you since… oh, I don’t know, maybe since we met? I thought you could read souls! Have you not noticed how excited I get when you’re around?

Sans smiles. His cheeks hurt.

“no, i never noticed.”

His feet move on his own, slippers flopping over the pavement, and he hugs her. Her muffled giggling in his hoodie was wonderful.

“i feel stupid,”

“Don’t be!”

Sans pulls his skull back to look at her.

“i… haha… i can’t wait to bring you on dates… we’re going to have a punderful time…”

“Oh no!” she squeaks, as Sans picks her off the floor and spins her around. “I guess I’ll have tibia really good at puns to catch up with you!”

Sans laughs, and doesn’t stop. She does too, bracing her hands on his shoulders, cheeks red.

Sans loves her laugh. He hopes he’ll get to hear more of it.

He hopes he’ll be the source of her laughter.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Five Little Ducks

Fandom: DC Comics, Batman

Summary: Bruce finds a magically de-aged Jason.

Chapters: 3/13

Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Stephanie Brown, Duke Thomas, Zatanna Zatara

Additional Tags: De-Aged Jason Todd, Magic, Babysitting, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, POV Third Person, Bruce Wayne is Not Okay, Bruce Wayne Tries, Jason Todd Has Issues, Childhood Trauma

Chapter Three: Rubber Duckie

Once the late afternoon rolled around, word got out that Jason had been turned into a child, and soon the manor was filled with life. Bruce sulked in the corner while everyone doted on his little boy. Duke stuck around most of the day, and he finally headed home. Still, the manor was filled with people. Dick came and did a few acro yoga tricks and made noodles for lunch, Steph came and did finger painting with him, and even Tim came around with puzzles. Bruce couldn't help but feel jealous, but he did his best to conceal it. At best, it was nice to see people running around the manor again. Jason made them all young again.

"Mr. Wayne," Jason whispered, tugging on Bruce's sleeve. "Mr. Wayne?"

Bruce snapped back to the present. "What's wrong?" Bruce asked.

Bruce picked Jason up. Jason threw his arms around Bruce's neck and hid his face. "Jason, didn't you have fun today?"

"Yeah... But... I still want you," Jason whispered.

"What's the matter?" Bruce questioned.

"Did something happen to my mommy and daddy?" Jason asked. Bruce didn't answer. "Usually, mommy would be awake by now. Did she get sick again?"

Bruce sat on the couch, holding Jason tight, and he took a deep breath. "Jason, would you like to stay with me for a while?" Bruce questioned. Jason started to cry. "Oh, Jason... I'm so sorry."

Dick came downstairs, looking at Bruce. "What's wrong?" Dick asked. Bruce shook his head.

"Not now, okay?" Bruce whispered as he rubbed Jason's back.

"Jason, I-. I used to think when people died, they were lost... But that's not true. You can always find someone who's died. Once you make someone real, they never stop being real. Your mommy will always exist, even if you can't see her. You can find her in your tears and in your memories and in your heart," Bruce whispered. He bounced Jason on his knee. "These tears are good... Because it means you loved her." Jason looked at Bruce and wiped his tears away.

"Do you think she knew?" Jason asked. Bruce nodded and kissed Jason's forehead without thinking.

"Oh, Jason, I didn't-."

"You're a nice man, Mr. Wayne," Jason whispered. Jason yawned, and Bruce looked at his watch. "I wish I wasn't so sad... I'm sorry."

"It's okay to be sad, Jason," Bruce whispered. Jason closed his eyes and lay his head on Bruce's chest. "It's almost time for bed... How about we call it a night?" Jason nodded. Dick gave Bruce a thumb's up and went upstairs. Bruce waited a few minutes and ran Jason a bath upstairs, still holding his hand. Jason stumbled backward and squeezed Bruce's hand.

"Jason?" Bruce asked as he hurriedly scooped Jason up.

"I'm okay, Mr. Wayne. I tripped," Jason reassured him, "Did I scare you?"

Bruce chuckled and nodded. "Only a little bit," Bruce laughed.

Jason looked up at Bruce. "I'm sorry," Jason giggled. Bruce stood on the opposite side of the stone partition while Jason bathed.

Jason sang the Rubber Duckie song to himself. Bruce held back his laugh. Jason never sang around him before. And he had a lovely voice. Bruce hummed along as Jason sang. He didn't want Jason to feel self-conscious about singing, so he didn't comment.

When he finished his song, he drained the tub and got dressed in his pajamas, and Bruce dried his hair. "Mr. Wayne?" Jason asked.

"Yes, Jason?" Bruce asked.

"Did you tell a fib when you went to my apartment?" Jason questioned. Bruce frowned and nodded.

"I didn't know how to tell you... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied to you," Bruce apologized, "Adults make so many mistakes, and that was a big one... But you were already frightened last night, and I didn't want to frighten you any more than I already did."

"Thank you for telling the truth," Jason whispered. Bruce nodded.

"Thank you for being so forgiving," Bruce replied while carrying Jason to bed. He started to pull up a chair, and Jason started to cry. He wiped his tears away as they came, trying not to seem fussy, but it broke Bruce's heart. "Jason?"

"Please don't go away," Jason pleaded, "Can you sleep in here?" Bruce kissed the top of Jason's head and climbed in next to him.

"I'm going to tell you a very special story tonight... It's about a man and his little bird," Bruce whispered, "Okay? I'm not leaving you. I'm right here... And I'm gonna tell you a story." Jason breathed as Bruce gestured for him to inhale and exhale until he calmed down. "Ready?"

Jason nodded and closed his eyes. "I'm not asleep. I want to imagine your story in my head," Jason whispered. He hiccupped and apologized. Dick poked his head in the door, and Bruce invited him in.

"There once lived a man who was very sad. He was so sad that most people thought he was angry," Bruce paused, "Until he met a little bird. This little bird had bright colors. Its feathers were brightly colored and chirped louder than all the other birds. He thought that the bird was just angry when he first heard it, but when the man got closer, he saw this bird had an injured wing.

"So, he took the bird home and nursed it back to health... And that bird did a beautiful dance. The dance was so beautiful that some people came far and wide to see this bird dance... And it made the man happy. So happy, he decided to cage the bird and keep it hidden. This was wrong because this type of bird wasn't meant to be locked away. It stopped dancing, and it started chirping louder than all the others.

"So, the man got angry and sent the bird away. He thought he'd be alone forever after that... And so, he became sad all over again.

"That was until he found a second bird. It wasn't as brightly colored or loud as the other bird was, but it got caught in his fence. When he tried to help the bird, it bit him. It didn't make the man angry. It made him laugh. The bird chirped and cried, but it stopped fighting once it was free.

"This bird didn't do a special dance or chirp loudly. No. This bird followed the man everywhere faithfully. It didn't mind being caged. But the man was careless. He left the bird out, and it fell prey to a cat-."

"No," Jason mumbled. Dick looked at Bruce and shook his head.

"But the bird lived. Instead of waiting for the man to return or chirping for help, the bird ran away. The man searched for the bird for many years, hoping to find his beloved friend... But every time he got close, the bird would bite him and fly away, ashamed of its scars.

"In the man's life, he had many birds. All of them were unique, but none were ever like the one he lost. All the other birds came back to see the man and make him smile, but he never forgot his second bird. His second bird was so frightened and ashamed, feeling like it'd never be like all the other birds... But that's what the man loved most. The bird didn't want anything. It only wanted to be loved. He wasn't angry or brightly colored or crafty like the others... He was something so inexplicably beautiful," Bruce whispered. Jason sank down into his pillow, and Dick smiled. They waited to ensure Jason was asleep before Dick stepped toward the bed.

"I'll go out tonight with some of the others... But I hope we can talk about our miniaturized friend here," Dick whispered.

"I don't know what happened to him. All I know is it was a magic spell, and I don't feel like un-shrinking him any time soon," Bruce confessed.

"At least you're being honest with yourself... And you know what? I agree with you. I spent some time with him today and learned so much about him... Did you know his mom used to be a vocal coach before she got sick?" Dick asked. "There are so many things I didn't know about his life before-. He desperately wants someone to love him."

"And I let him down," Bruce whispered.

"We all did... It's not only on you. It's on all of us," Dick replied.

[wosomarvel]

communication - 06

a/n: i'm pretending there are no more injuries! manifesting i guess. i'm so sorry this took so long. the end of the semester was really tough for me but i have the next three weeks off, so i will try my best to get a few more updates out. i'm thinking two or three more parts until this series is over.

warnings: this episode talks (briefly and not in detail) about depression, anxiety, and shitty parents. it's not too bad, though. more hurt/comfort than angst. even then, bordering more on the comfort side.

i am going to once again reiterate that the schedule of games does not follow real life. i'm going based on vibes and vibes alone.

-----

"sim, we need you to settle something for us."

sim's heart dropped at the sight in front of her: mary and millie, both in their training kits, arms crossed with no hints of a smile on either of their faces.

"whatever it is, i'm sure someone else could-"

"it has to be you, because you're the most impartial person here right now," millie cut sim off.

"and we trust you to be honest," mary added.

sim's face contorted with confusion.

"who would win in a fight? me," mary gestured with her hands towards her own body, "or millie?"

"nope!" sim replied to the question. "i refuse to get involved."

sim knew better than to definitively answer any sort of question like that. no matter who she picked, she would pay for it in the form of relentless teasing or tickling.

her eyes darted around the meal room, looking for a savior to come to her rescue. she gulped almost comically when she saw there the few people around were otherwise occupied.

"it's alright, darling, you can admit that i would absolutely wreck mearps here. as vice-captain, i'll make sure she can't attack you for it."

as tempting as millie's offer was, sim was almost certain that millie could only protect her for so long.

"how about i ask the fans?" sim prompted.

now it was their turn to look confused.

"i'll put a poll up on the instagram or something," sim added, pulling her phone out of her pocket.

"see, this is why it was a genius move to hire you. smart, she is," millie praised.

a blush took over sim's face as she fiddled with the phone she'd just pulled out of her pocket.

across the meal room, leah watched on fondly as georgia and keira conversed around her. it was nice to see sim come out of her shell a bit more around the team. though leah still had the distinct feeling that it would be a while before the younger girl felt comfortable being vulnerable around them, it still brought her a sense of relief that sim was no longer so painfully shy. she actively participated in the conversations and shenanigans typical of the team.

the team had taken well to sim's steady presence, adopting her as though she was a playing member of the lionesses.

it had only been a few months since their conversation on those bleachers, but leah could already see the difference it was making. sim looked... lighter, in a sense. like the weight on her shoulders had eased. leah was starting to to see a light in sim's eyes that hadn't been there when they had first met.

"what are you lookin at?" georgia asked.

leah's lips turned up in a slight smile as she nodded her head in sim's direction. "remember how closed off she was when she first got here?"

keira shifted her gaze, smiling when her eyes settled on sim's figure filming mary and millie.

"she's fit in quite well," keira agreed.

"she's cool. she said she'd let me tattoo her once i've properly learned how," georgia added, nodding her head.

"she what?"

-----

sim sighed, settling into soft sheets. sarina had permitted her to room with alessia at st. george's park and sim had never been more grateful.

she closed her eyes, the melody of alessia's singing wafting in from the bathroom, its door left ajar. she let it ease the tiredness that had settled into her bones.

this particular camp was exhausting. she knew it wasn't her job that was draining her energy at this point. the federation had recently hired a few other people to help out in the social media department so sim was now only in charge of the instagram, twitter, and tiktok. the longer form content and brainstorming was no longer under her purview.

sim suspected leah and sarina had something to do with that. she'd been annoyed at first, but was now incredibly thankful for their interference.

despite that, sim was still feeling drained and on edge. it frustrated her that she couldn't put a reason to the way she was feeling.

the past few months had been good to her. her relationship with alessia was blooming into something beautiful. there was no pressure when alessia around, and sim was starting to become accustomed to the light and airy feeling that came with her presence.

sim had fallen into a steady routine. now that her workload with the lionesses had significantly decreased, she had a lot more time on her hands. though her pay from the lionesses hadn't gone down, sim had still taken up a casual job at arsenal as a photographer. though she'd majored in communications in uni, she had minored in visual media.

working with the lionesses was fulfilling, no doubt, but sim missed the more creative aspects of her visual media minor. alessia had proposed the idea of working with arsenal one day during an impromptu photoshoot, sim taking random photos of alessia as they spent an off day lounging at home.

jonas was used to seeing sim's face and after a quick conversation with the higher ups, sim had secured a press pass.

in the mornings, sim and alessia would meet up with beth, viv, and leah for a quick coffee before training. she'd spend the day at colney with the team, taking pictures. she had befriended laura and teyah, the two remaining members of the ACL squad. after training was done for the day, alessia would drive her home, the two spending the rest of the day together.

sim hadn't moved in with alessia, but she spent more nights at the blonde's place than her own.

once or twice a week, sim would accompany alessia to team bonding. she stayed in contact with ella.

sim was content with her life. happy, even.

the way she was feeling now, however, had her scared. scared that the feeling would linger and turn into something heavier. scared that she would slip back into old ways, having to push herself just to get out of bed in the mornings, to eat something, to want to exist.

sim didn't want to go back there. she didn't want anyone to see her like that. more importantly, she didn't want alessia or leah to see her like that. she didn't want to be a burden. the two gunners deserved better than that.

"hey, baby."

sim was broken out of her thought process by alessia's voice, followed by a quick peck to her forehead.

sim hummed in response, moving over to make space for her girlfriend on the bed. alessia set her kit and toiletries off to the side before sliding in beside sim, pulling the comforter over the two of them as the younger girl turned her back to assume the little spoon position.

sim breathed a sigh of relief as alessia's arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her close, almost cradling sim to her front. she felt some of the tension leave her body as alessia pressed a gentle kiss to her neck.

"are you alright, love?"

sim contemplated telling the truth for a moment, ultimately deciding against it. it's not even that bad. i just need to grow up, she reasoned with herself.

"yeah, just tired," sim replied.

"can you turn around for me?"

of course alessia would see right through her. it was honestly frustrating at times.

sim had always been good at lying, something she'd had to learn to survive her parents when she was younger. however, alessia could always tell when sim was lying.

not that sim made a habit of lying to her girlfriend. she just wanted to shield alessia from the darker parts of herself for as long as possible.

"love?" alessia prompted.

sim turned with a sigh, keeping her eyes closed. she would crack as soon as she made eye contact with alessia's baby blue eyes.

alessia's hand came up to sim's face, pointer finger tracing the subtle crease between her eyebrows.

"can you open those pretty eyes for me, baby?"

sim relented, never having been able to refuse a request from alessia. leah never let her forget it.

sim's eyes fluttered open, causing alessia to frown at the clear exhaustion evident in the set of her eyes. "what's wrong?"

again, sim debated whether or not to tell the truth. she had almost settled on trying to lie, but her resolve crumbled at the look of concern painted on alessia's face.

how could anyone ever lie to a face like that?

"everything just feels... heavy. it's hard to explain. it's like my entire being is just exhausted. especially my mind. there's just this weight over everything."

it was silent for a few beats. alessia's hand came to rest on the side of sim's face, her fingers gently scratching at sim's hair.

alessia considered her next words carefully. she was thankful that sim was starting to open up to her and all she wanted to do was help. to alessia, what sim was describing sounded a lot like depression, but she didn't have nearly enough information or qualifications to come to that conclusion. she also didn't want to push too far with her questions and cause sim to shut down again.

alessia settled on a question that would allow sim decide how much or how little to reveal.

"do you feel like that very often?"

"not anymore," sim whispered out, averting her eyes. "it's not that bad right now. i actually feel good most days. i still feel better than i did before the FA hired me. i'm just tired the last few days. don't know why."

though it concerned alessia that this feeling seemed to be somewhat familiar to sim, she was also happy to hear that things were okay at the moment.

"that's alright. everyone has bad days. what do you need from me right now, my love?" alessia asked, pulling sim closer, the hand that was on sim's head pulling the girl's head to her chest.

sim's eyes teared up slightly at alessia's actions. she had never felt so loved and cared for. it quieted the insecurities that plagued her mind, that constantly told her she was too much but at the same time never enough for alessia.

"i just want to be with you right now."

despite the waver in sim's voice, alessia's heart melted.

"alright, love, i've got you," alessia replied, pressing a quick kiss to sim's temple before shifting so she was on her back, sim automatically placing her head on alessia's chest, curling into her side.

sim let the warmth wash over her, grabbing a fistful of alessia's sleep shirt as she tried to snuggle closer.

"thank you," sim breathed, drowsiness starting to take over.

"you don't have to thank me. i'll always be here."

"i love you," sim said without thinking.

there was a moment of silence and sim's heart dropped.

of course, she just had to go and fuck this up too. they hadn't said it yet. why did you have to go and ruin the moment? she thought to herself.

her muscles tensed before she moved to pull away, but she was stopped by alessia's arms squeezing her tighter.

"i love you too," alessia said back. sim could almost hear the smile in her voice.

-----

the lionesses' next game was against spain, a world cup rematch. it went without saying that the girls were a mix of excitement and nerves. everyone dealt with it in their own way.

leah was immersed in film of barca and spain in the days leading up to the match. she remembered how helpless she had felt watching the world cup final and was determined to lead the team to a win this time around. it didn't matter to her that this was a friendly, that great britain had already qualified for the olympics.

millie could often be found beside leah, the two huddled over a tablet.

esme had created so many friendship bracelets that she had to order more thread.

katie had taken a bunch of the girls around town shopping, going to different coffee shops and trying to stay distracted.

ella had organized a mariokart tournament in one of the conference rooms for the girls that had stayed behind.

alessia was beside herself with nerves and had opted to waste away in her room under the guise of resting. sim had tried her best to assure her girlfriend, but her duties as social media admin made it difficult to get time alone with her.

sim was relieved when her latest round of meetings with the other media staff was over. she wanted nothing more than to care for alessia.

sim quietly eased the door open in case alessia actually was sleeping. when she turned after closing the door, it was to the sight of alessia sat on the bed, staring into the space above the television as it played old episodes of friends. her heart panged a little at the sight.

sim walked over to the bed, making a quick plan in her head. she knew that nothing she said was likely to make alessia feel better, so she settled on physical comfort.

alessia was shaken from her trance by the soft kiss sim placed on her temple.

"today's a hair wash day, right?" sim mumbled against alessia's skin, getting straight to the point.

"yeah, why?"

-----

twenty minutes later, sim was sat on the couch with alessia sat on the floor between her legs, the pair watching old episodes of superstore, sim's hands massaging coconut oil into the blonde's scalp.

"how did you even think to do this?" alessia mumbled.

"oiling hair is just a thing desi people do. i don't remember the exact origin. different people use different types of oil for different reasons. my maasi* used to do coconut oil before a wash once a week. in the winter, when our hair was dry and frizzy, she would rub baby oil just into the ends every now and then." (*maasi is mother's sister or cousin sister)

"yeah, but why are you doing this now?" alessia prodded. considering this was the first time she had heard sim voluntarily speak about her family, alessia didn't want to push too hard, but she was curious.

not that she was complaining. the massage was doing wonders for her headache and she was more relaxed than she had felt in weeks.

"just noticed you were stressed. obviously, i've never been in the same situation as you so i can't do much in the way of words. but i remember how relaxing this was for me so i figured i would share," sim replied somewhat sheepishly, hands stilling.

alessia was overwhelmed with affection for the younger girl. it was almost offputting how easily sim could read her, how she could anticipate what alessia needed before she herself knew what that was.

alessia reached a hand up to squeeze sim's arm, unable to vocalize how she felt in the moment.

"the massage part is almost done. then we need to let the oil sit for at least a half hour, and i'll wash it out for you."

the pair fell silent, no words needed between them. when it was time for a rinse, alessia sat on the ledge of the tub, leaning gently on sim's body behind her.

"as much as i am loving this right now, i'm going to have to ask you to hurry it up before i fall asleep here," alessia said, breaking the silence.

sim chuckled softly before turning on the water, using the handheld shower to rinse alessia's hair.

"thank you for this," alessia spoke, grabbing a soft towel to dry her hair off.

"you don't have to thank me," sim said shyly, a blush creeping on to her face.

alessia turned to look at sim, and the younger girl almost melted under the tenderness of alessia's gaze.

alessia knew that it was hard for sim to accept any gratitude, so settled for rushing forward and wrapping the girl up in a tight embrace, arms settling around sim's shoulders as hers wrapped around alessia's waist.

sim rested her forehead against alessia's sternum. sim's family never showed any physical affection, so it had taken her a while to get used to just how touchy her girlfriend could be, but sim would be lying if she said she didn't come to love it.

"let's head to bed, yeah? i'm going to fall asleep standing up and take you down with me. then you'll have two bad knees," alessia giggled.

"and then you'd have to carry me everywhere and we can't have that, can we? because then you'd have bad knees and leah would have my head!" sim replied with a chuckle, turning alessia's giggles into full-blown laughs.

-----

the cloud that seemed to be following sim around refused to fully recede, always lingering around the edges of sim's consciousness.

she had done a well enough job of hiding it from everyone. she'd made the effort not to push people away, but that didn't mean that she was asking for help either.

a part of her still felt ashamed and annoyed at how she was feeling. her life was the best it had ever been, so why was it so difficult for sim to just suck it up and enjoy it?

it was currently match day -1, and the lionesses were doing some light training on the pitch before they would head inside for a film session and tactics meeting.

sim was bundled up against the cold on the sidelines, filming when she needed but mostly just watching her girls work. the jealousy she felt while looking at them hadn't abated completely, but she could mostly shove it down and not let it become a problem.

"how's it going?" ella nudged sim, having made her way over after sarina concluded the training session.

"yeah, i'm alright, you?"

ella wrapped an arm around sim's shoulder, starting the walk back to the locker rooms as she chatted about something joe had said to her a few weeks ago.

alessia stole sim back from ella as the team filed into the locker room.

"hey! you get to see her everyday!" ella whined, making grabby hands as alessia steered sim towards her own cubby.

alessia simply stuck her tongue out at ella before gathering the things she needed for a shower and stepping out.

"oh! my family is all coming out for the game tomorrow, so don't run off with alessia so quick because i want you to meet them," ella said, grabbing sim's arm and setting her down on the bench in front of her own locker.

a nervous smile took over sim's face. "really?"

though the idea of meeting ella's parents was admittedly nice, it make sim more anxious than anything else.

"oh, yeah, they'll probably end up liking you more than me," ella responded jovially, trying to pull sim out of her head.

"speaking of," leah interjected, "sim, do you need tickets for any guests of yours? i can probably get them into the friends and family section."

sim immediately stiffened. she couldn't have this conversation with the team. not today, when she was already feeling so on edge.

"oh. no, i don't have anyone i'm bringing to the match," sim said, trying to make it clear with her tone that this wasn't a topic she was willing to elaborate on.

unfortunately, it seemed no one got the hint.

"what, parents couldn't make it?" millie chimed in.

"nah, they're not around anymore," sim said with a sigh, trying to brush it off with a wave of her hand.

however, it seemed to have the opposite effect. there were a few silent moments of tension before rachel's voice cut through.

"i'm really sorry to hear that."

sim's brow furrowed in confusion before she realized how her statement sounded.

"oh! no, don't be. i'm pretty sure they're still alive, we just don't... we're estranged. we don't talk anymore," sim rushed to clarify. the last thing she wanted at the moment was sympathy. especially when it came to her parents because the truth was, she was much, much better off without them in her life.

there was still a lingering tension in the locker room, though the air had lightened considerably. this was the most the lionesses had heard sim say about her family. even leah didn't quite know what to say. she settled for taking a seat beside sim, whose face still donned the same look of confusion.

she didn't understand why this seemed such a big deal.

"you don't want to reach out? mend things?" rachel continued quietly.

"trust me, it's better for everyone if we stay very far away from each other," sim said with a chuckle.

she cut herself off when she realized no one was laughing with her.

"you can't know that for sure. you should consider extending an olive branch, while you still can." rachel had turned to face sim properly now, almost a pleading note in her voice.

sim's back straightened, hands clenched into fists in her lap.

she took a deep, grounding breath before speaking. "look, i'm telling you, my parents and i do not talk anymore and it's for good reason. i don't owe anyone an explanation. please, drop it."

leah didn't think she had ever heard that level of iciness in sim's tone. she looked at sim, biting her lip as she did. it was like looking at the face of a different person. sim's face was completely blank, not a trace of emotion to be seen.

leah didn't say anything, figuring that rachel would respect the younger girl's wishes and stop pushing.

that didn't seem to be the case.

"i just don't see what could have happened that you're okay with never speaking to your parents again." rachel's voice had taken on an accusatory tone.

millie placed a hand on rachel's shoulder, trying to signal to her best friend that she should stop before things got too heated.

before leah could say something herself to defuse the tension, sim stood abruptly.

"rachel, i respect where you're coming from. really, i do. but i'm starting to get very frustrated with this conversation, so i'm going to leave before i say something i regret."

with that, sim left the locker room, the rest of the girls stunned into silence, only the sounds of sim's cane hitting the floor being heard.

"well, i think that is the politest way i've ever heard someone say 'fuck off,'" said millie.

leah stood to go after sim, but beth beat her to it. "i'll go," she whispered. leah nodded before rounding on rachel.

rachel looked like a fish out of water with the way her mouth opened and closed, searching for words.

"i know your heart was in the right place, but you pushed too hard. just be gentler next time, yeah?" leah asserted, her voice stern but not unkind.

"i'm sorry, i just-"

"it's okay. it's not me that you should apologize to. and don't take her reaction personally, alright? i don't even think alessia knows the full story about her parents."

-----

alessia walked back to her cubby, running a hand through the tangles in her damp hair. by the time she was pulling on a hoodie, she noticed a few things.

for one, her girlfriend was not where she had left her.

secondly, the few stragglers still in the locker room had their eyes trained on her, but averted them when she returned their gazes.

tooney was also stood awkwardly in the space around alessia's cubby, as though waiting for her.

"what?" alessia spoke with a frown, looking to ella when everyone else refused to meet her eyes.

"well..." ella's voice trailed off. she wasn't quite sure how to explain the situation without framing it like an argument and blowing it out of proportion. she did not want to be caught up in the middle of the awkward tension that now permeated the space.

"what?" alessia repeated, her voice now stern.

"look," ella said, holding a placating hand up to alessia, "it's not bad. there was just a conversation about sim inviting her parents and things got a little... tense? but everyone is fine, and beth went to look for sim."

confusion was replaced with concern and a little bit of anger.

"a conversation with who? where is she? is she alright?" alessia rushed out.

"you should hear it from her. i don't know where she is, but beth went to look for her, so it's okay. don't worry. it wasn't a big deal."

that was the thing, though. alessia wasn't sure that it wasn't a big deal.

sim's parents had come up in conversation a few times, but the most sim had ever let on was that they were no longer in contact.

it wasn't for lack of trying. however, the few times alessia had tried to venture further and pushed, sim had shut down, going almost completely silent and stony-faced. each time, it took hours to bring the girl back out of her shell.

the fact that sim wasn't feeling herself recently didn't do anything to ease the concern she was feeling.

with those memories in mind, alessia rushed out of the locker room to find sim and beth herself.

-----

beth looked everywhere for sim. she checked back on the training pitch, in the bathroom, the meal room, the media office, before finding her figure sat in a corner of one of the physio rooms.

beth's heart melted at the expression on sim's face. it was clear from the tightness in sim's jaw and shoulders that she was trying hard to keep her emotions in check.

sim was so caught up in whatever was going on in her head that she didn't notice beth's presence until she felt a hand settle on her clenched fist, forcing it open.

beth frowned at the indents in sim's palm from where her nails had dug into the skin.

"i'm sorry," sim rasped.

"what for? you didn't do anything wrong. i actually think you handled that in a very mature way."

beth's words seemed to fall on deaf ears as sim continued rambling.

"i'm not angry with rachel. i promise, i'm not."

beth shook sim's hand, prompting her to look up. "even if you were angry, you're allowed to feel that way. clearly, she pushed you on a topic that was sensitive for you," beth said gently, almost as though she was explaining something to a child.

"but she didn't know she was pushing. rachel didn't do anything wrong either. i can see where her reaction came from. she lost her father, and i know that he meant a lot to her. she would probably do anything for a little more time with him. i just-" sim ran her free hand through her already messy hair.

beth stayed silent, prodding sim to go on with a nod of her head.

"it's just that not all of us got lucky with our parents. i'm happy she has a great relationship with hers, trust me, i am. but some people have shit parents, and don't want to be pushed into mending bridges that were burned for good reason."

beth noted sim's reluctance to use the word "i" instead of "us" but chose not to say anything. as far as she knew, this was the most anyone had gotten out of sim about her parents.

"her heart was in the right place, but she was still insensitive. she could have been a bit kinder to you. i lost my mum too, so i know where she's coming from, but i also know that not everyone has nice parents like mine or hers. you don't have to defend rachel to me, alright?"

sim nodded, resting her head on beth's shoulder.

"you don't have to talk about what happened with your parents, but i'm here to listen if you decide you want to. i'm sure the same goes for the rest of the girls as well," beth continued.

a comfortable silence fell over the pair. in that moment, sim was overcome with affection. she felt so seen by this new family she had found in the lionesses. unable to voice how much it meant to her, sim tried to put all that emotion into a squeeze of beth's hand.

when beth squeezed back, sim knew her message had been received.

[heyidkyay]

I guess I'll take this pain, instead of your name |

Part Four

Summary: In life, things changed. The boys you'd once grown up with were men now, and famous ones at that. The type that toured the world and had millions of adoring fans.

The five of you shared a shit ton of history. But you also shared a lot of mixed emotions for one of them in particular, a certain drummer.

Masterlist

--

“Oi, no! No fucking fair!”

Ross’ loud shout had me cackling as the giant propelled himself across the dining-room table to try and claim back the last steak Matty had just brought in. George though, who already had the meat on his fork and high up in the air, as far away from Ross as he could get it, was having none of it.

“Piss off, I nabbed it first.”

“Yeah, only ‘cause you’re a fat bastard that never gave anyone else fighting chance!” Ross spat back, still spread out along the table like a hog, minus the biting apple.

“Oi! I’ll have no body shaming in this house, thank you very much.” Matty cut in from where he was stood, the now empty plate still in hand. Carly and I both shared an amused look from over Ross’ firm arse. 

“I’m with Matt on this one,” I piped up with a small smirk of my own, “Though Ross, can I just say, your arse looks really good in those jeans.”

Carly hummed an agreement around a sip of rosé, “Tell us your secret, MacDonald.”

“Yeah, fess up and I vote you can have the steak.” I added, using my spoon to poke at his denim covered flesh, my eyes only brightening as I watched it bounce back.

“Erm- cheers for the support there, Birdie.” Came George’s hurt response, this time though everyone else seemed to be overly aware of the nickname used too.

“Sorry, but if you had an arse like his then maybe we’d still be together.” I quipped in retort, breaking the sudden pause, not even sparing him a second glance as I leant over and plucked the fork right from his fingers.

“Get in!” Ross grinned in triumph, a fisted hand already in the air. His smile quickly fell though as he watched me take a hearty bite out of the rib-eye.

I wasn’t one for meat in truth. Actually, I was practically an honorary vegetarian at this point in my life, meat had sort of just become less of a viable option to me I supposed. And I only say ‘honorary’ because if anyone were to offer a chicken nugget then I know I’d be the first to break. Who could honestly turn down a nugget and not live to regret it? But anyway, I guess I also turned a blindeye in situations like these too. Ones where I got to watch all the happiness drain from one of my best friends eyes.

“Y/n!” Ross gasped in immense horror, STILL spread out across the length of Matty’s table. “I actually can’t believe you’ve just done that.”

“I can.” Adam snorted from behind a neck of beer.

I peered down at the steak I held, it was alright to be fair to Matty, succulent, had a good grill to it. He was a semi-decent cook when he wanted to be, and I only admitted to that after having just scoffed down the lot of bang-bang cauliflower he’d made specifically for me.

“You’re the devil incarnate.” Ross enforced with an evil leer sent my way, whilst Carly carefully helped steer him off the table to avoid what little he’d missed smushing during his great leap for the steak.

I gifted him a fearless grin, having just swallowed down the bite I’d taken. “Am I really? ‘Cause here I was, just about to let you have the rest…”

Ross’ eyes widened comically just before he made grabby hands for the fork. “I didn’t mean it and I take it back. You’re beautiful. The very best, even.”

“Are you talking to me, or the steak?” I found myself having to ask, chuckling as I handed the thing over. I received no actual response from him though, just an audible moan as he bit into his prize.

“Definitely the steak.” Matty laughed, consoling a lost looking George with a pat on the back as he retook his seat. “Sorry mate, there’s still some stringbeans left in the kitchen if you wanna finish them off.”

George shot him a glare. “Ha ha.”

I had to hide my smile.

—

After dinner had been cleared away and more drinks had been procured, we found ourselves gathered in the living room. Adam pulled out the tele Matty had stashed away whilst the host himself took George with him to help locate the whereabouts of the karaoke machine.

Carly, Ross, and I got the hard job though, taking turns sampling the drinks and mixing up crappy cocktails to gift one another. 

“Okay so… that’s definitely tequila. No doubt about it. A hint of orange juice in there too, as well as…” I swirled the fruity drink over my tongue once more before I took a chance. “A shot of Sourz?”

I was met with Ross’ squinted stare. “What flavour?” He challenged.

Elbows on my knees, I leant in a little closer, meeting him nose for nose. He didn’t blink even as I tugged my mouth up into a smug smirk. “Cherry.”

“What! How?” Ross exclaimed dramatically, shaking his head and pointing an accusing finger at me. “How do you get it right every time?”

I shrugged, leaning back into the comfort of the settee. It was Matty who gave the retort though as he traipsed back into the room, George following just behind him carrying the rather large karaoke machine. “You’re just too predictable, Ross.”

“The fuck I am.”

Carly giggled beside me, a little tipsy from the wine she’d been sipping all evening. I smiled over at her and combed the fringe from out of her face. 

“Need a hand there, G?” Adam asked George once the tele was finally on and working, and we all seemed to glance over to where George was struggling slightly, caught in a web of wires.

I bit my lip to keep from outright chuckling, but Matty did no such thing, he threw himself between Carly and I whilst he laughed loudly at his pitiful best friend. “You all good there, mate?”

“Fine, just some fucking twat left me to carry this in alone!” George huffed breathlessly as Adam tugged him free, “Why the fuck is it so huge?”

“That’s what she said.” Carly mumbled under her breath, earning a round of amused laughs and a proud clap from Ross.

But then I sort of had to hum in agreement, studying it a little more closely. “Was wondering that too- did you get another one?” I asked Matty, turning to him. “Don’t remember the last looking that heavy.”

Matty threw a leg over my knee and nodded, deciding to play with the ends of my hair whilst he replied, “Got it in PR or summat.”

I blinked, a little surprised, though it did make sense.

I shuffled then to get more comfortable, leaning into Matty a little to steady myself, and caught George peering over at us. I frowned, and it only deepened when I watched George shake himself out of it and mumble something or other about needing another beer.

“Grab me one!” Adam called out to him as he connected one of the many cables behind the flatscreen, whilst I watched George stomp away.

“Here, Matty mate. Taste.” Ross instructed, catching my attention as he held a glass out towards us. Matty took the outstretched drink and peered inside. It was a musty yellow colour, a little too neon to be just whiskey but too light to come off as something other than a simple juice.

Matty downed a large gulp, thought it over, then claimed, “That’s just a whiskey sour, ain’t it?”

Ross dragged out a long ah, smiling deviously. “Yeah, but there’s a twist.”

Matty’s brow pinched and he took another sip, making an effort to really taste the cocktail this time around. “Fuck knows- pineapple?” He threw out. 

Ross’ grin only widened and Carly laughed, causing Matty’s frown to deepen further. Another large sip and still he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

“Fuck sakes, I don’t know! Here, you guess.” He gave up, pressing the glass to my lips before I could even think to deny. I let him tip the drink into my mouth, laughing as a tad bit dribbled down my chin. Thankfully Matty reached up to swipe it away with this thumb.

I let the liquid sit on my tongue for a moment and closed my eyes, savouring the many flavours. The whiskey was strong, as was the hint of lemon I immediately recognised.

Ross was far too heavy handed but he was also right about there being an odd sort of twist. A spice that you didn’t really expect at the very last second which paired nicely with the sweetness of the whiskey.

“Is the whiskey Irish?” I asked him, eyes still closed.

Ross gave me a quiet confirmation and so I swirled the liquid around once more before swallowing.

When I opened my eyes again, Ross was there, alongside Carly, who was peering over at me from Matty’s other side. Ross wore a shit-eating grin and had a determined look in his eye, I really couldn’t get this one wrong.

“It’s almost vinegary. Like the juice from an onion or gherkin jar…”

Ross’ expression changed ever so slightly, and so I figured I must’ve been onto something.

“But it’s not pickley or sweet.” I hummed, shaking my head as I pondered. Then I gave them a quirked smile. “Jalapeños?”

“You have to be fucking cheating!” Ross accused in a loud shout, “There’s no way. Absolutely no way!”

My face just brightened, “I got it right?”

Matty was laughing merrily beside me, an arm wrapped around my waist as he shook my entire being, celebrating my victory. Ross did not appear as happy as him though.

“How?” He prodded and I just jerked a shoulder in retort, chuckling as I shoved Matty off of me.

“Don’t know. Must be my superpower.”

“Nah, your superpower is how quick you can add up numbers.” George cut in as he walked further into the room, this time holding a handful of beers. I glanced away quickly when I found myself staring at his hands a little too long, wondering how much time he’d spent lingering in the doorway. 

“Oh, yeah. You’re good at that as well I suppose. Last time we were out to eat, I did this quick fire question thing with her.” Matty agreed, reaching out to scoop up one of the wineglasses I’d set out earlier. Wordlessly I poured him a glass of his favoured bottle. “Got nine out of ten, but she’d been drinking then too.”

I scoffed, rolling my eyes at the connection. “Make it out like I’m sort of alcoholic, why don’t you.”

Ross quirked a brow, “Are you? Is this really just an intervention then?”

“Be a pretty shit one, considering.” Adam chuckled, tossing us the remote as he settled in beside his wife with a beer.

“Hann’s right.” Matty acknowledged with a jerky dip of his chin, “Should enjoy tonight, then all get together and stage one soon. Yeah?”

Everyone muttered their assent and so I flipped them all off. “Hypocrites the lot you!”

Matty have a happy laugh as his hand reached out to claim mine, folding the offending finger away. “Go on, tell me what my superpower would be then, wino.”

“To forever be able to talk out your arse.” I replied with a sharp laugh, he merely rolled his eyes in return.

“Have an ego that never stops growing!” Ross continued, earning a few nods and a grimace from Matty.

“Bore a person into a coma.”

We all paused and glanced over towards Carly then, who’d been the last to speak.

“Bit harsh there, Carls.” I admonished, but couldn’t really quiet my chuckle. Matty shot me a deathly glare whilst Carly’s own eyes widened in alarm.

“I didn’t mean it like that! I just, well sometimes when you talk about the random things you’re passionate about you tend to ramble on for so long I end up getting really lost and just have to nod along. It’s then that I think up all the things I’ve got to do once I get home.” She explained, not really helping herself at all. Matty stared at her, long and hard, before he ultimately resorted into a giggling mess.

“Christ.” Ross mumbled under his breath as he released a faint chuckle too. “Hate to wonder what you think of the rest of us, Carly.”

I snorted, poking her shoulder as best I could from the position I was stuck in. “Just need to get her drunk enough that she’ll start spilling all her truths, I ‘spose. So tell us, Carls, how good is Adam in bed?”

Carly went to answer me but her husband was quick to clap a hand over her mouth before she even got the chance, I cackled as she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at me instead.

Ross grimaced before he turned away from the couple and towards the rest of us sad singles. “How about me, what’s my superpower?”

“To have a never-ending stomach.” Matty put in. 

“A second one, you mean.” Adam corrected, whilst Ross shot a glare between them.

“Hilarious.”

George surprised us all by speaking next though, “To grow unusually long pubes. Like Rapunzel, only with long and wirey ginger hairs.”

“They’re not ginger, you prick!”

“How the fuck do you know this?” Adam asked George. But I already knew the answer to that, George and I had spoken about this before- even recalling the conversation now made me chuckle and so I had to steal a glance over at him. Something inside me was rather pleased to find him already looking back, it only grew once we shared a secret smile.

“Tour.” Was all George supplied them with whilst Ross scoffed unhappily. Obviously none too thrilled with his procured answers.

“What’s G’s then?” Matty vocalised and we all went quiet as we thought it over.

“Wearing his boxers for weeks on end?”

“Oi, it was five days whilst we were stuck on the bus, and I kept flipping them, didn’t I? Went commando in the end too.” George defended against the bearded giant.

“Ability to come up with all sorts of melodies on the spot.” Carly offered sweetly and everyone sort of had to agree with her there.

“Drinking most people under the table.” Matty added amicably, raising his glass over towards the drummer in cheers, who winked back at him with a smug smile. 

“Leaving.” I found myself murmuring, not even caring that everyone else had heard me as the room fell into an awkward sort of silence around me.

“Uh,” Matty spoke, unsure, whilst Ross coughed loudly into the crook of his arm. 

Adam was quick to change the topic though, always one to save the day, “Right, who’s first on the karaoke then- Matty?”

And as Matty pushed himself to stand, he squeezed my knee and gave me a small smile. One I couldn’t find myself returning. I stood too and decided to excuse myself.

“Sorry. Just gonna use the loo.”

Matty stared after me and I could tell he wanted to argue, have me stay. But I shook my head at him and quickly slipped out, taking a couple much needed breaths as I did.

—

My return a little while later was noticed but not addressed, and Carly continued on with her rendition of Everyone Say’s Hi without a hitch. Adam staring up at her from where he’d taken perch on the edge of the settee, whilst Matty and Ross cheered her on. 

I was quick to note George’s sudden disappearance, his spot on the far armchair obviously vacant. Matty must’ve seen my confusion too because he nodded in the direction of the kitchen when I glanced his way. 

I contemplated it, following after him. And with a look around the room, I almost felt like I had to, like I should. So I was stealthily quiet as I exited again, trying not to think about what it was I was actually doing incase I talked myself out of it before I even got there.

The tall drummer was waiting by the window when I stepped around the doorway. Arms propping him up against the kitchen counter whilst he stared on ahead, out into the garden.

One side of his face was illuminated by the fluorescent light, the other shrouded slightly in its shadow. I knew instantly that he was lost in deep thought because his lips were pursed and his eyes appeared more squinted than usual. He used to get like this during the late evenings we’d just spend together in bed, wrapped up in our duvet listening to the world outside. It made me want to mourn him all over again actually, to climb inside his mind and see for myself what had gone so terribly wrong through his eyes. 

I almost thought he hadn’t seen me, stood there, but his sudden lighthearted dig startled me from my observations. I looked away casually to hide the flush of being caught.

“Didn’t have you down as a creeper.”

I shrugged a shoulder his way.

“Just wondered where you’d run off to.” I murmured, cautiously toeing my way further inside. I let my fingers dance across the marble tiles to distract my mind from the situation at hand.

“Oh, yeah?”

I hummed. And he sighed.

A quiet settled between us. It was stilted, so different to what I was used to during the time I’d spent with him before. I had a thousand things to say, to tell him, to ask. But nothing came, and so instead I found myself taking up the empty space he’d left beside him.

Both our stares stayed fixed on the garden ahead. Its dark skies, the cherry blossom tree sat in the very centre.

“You look good.” George said as he broke the silence, voice low. I watched him tilt his head in my direction from out of the corner of my eye and wanted to ask what he got out of telling me that. But didn’t.

“Liar.” I huffed instead, it sounded like an airy chuckle. As though his words held no power over me.

He turned to face me then, properly, hip against the counter now. I felt as though I had to follow. I’d always felt like that I supposed though, wherever George went I wanted to follow. He was the meteor, this big burning ball of fire, and me, I was the debris he left in his wake.

“You do.” George told me with a small dip of his head, and his eyes glanced away for a split second when they met mine for the first time, his sharp inhale visible. “Always did though, so that’s no surprise.”

I felt my heart fizz in my chest, every fibre of me wanting to outwardly react. To scream, I guess. Why? Why say something like that? Why now?

“You too. Like the hair, it’s different.” I replied, gesturing towards the short cut he now wore. It wasn’t my place to comment on how much I missed his long curls though. Not anymore. I doubt it would be something he’d care to hear anyhow. 

George grazed a hand over his head, wearing a lopsided smile. “Yeah, it sort of just happened. Spur of the moment type thing.”

I hummed, studying him for another short second. “Can imagine.”

“Yeah.” He replied on an exhale.

I glanced away again, back out towards the garden, it’d started to spit. “Reckon it’ll pour down?” I asked him, leaning in towards the glass to try and catch a glimpse of the clouds above.

He joined me, our heads far too close for comfort.

“‘Spose so. You camping out here if it does?”

I shrugged, pulling away. “Hadn’t really thought about it.”

He hummed.

I let my eyes roam down the length of his back and linger for a moment on the exposed skin where his white shirt had ridden up slightly in his stretch. I was quick to look away when he pushed up from the window ledge.

“I’m sorry, for what happened.” He said then, and it should’ve felt like it came from out of nowhere, this apology of his. But for some reason it didn’t. In reality, I hadn’t even expected one. “You should know that.”

“Why?”

Finally I’d asked it and now that it was out there I felt the weight it carried. I think he did too.

“Why, what? Why am I sorry?” He asked me, a palm splayed across the cold counter as he craned his head so that his gaze could find mine. 

“Sure. That would be a start.”

His forehead pinched and he clenched his jaw. I waited.

“I think I’m sorry for the way it all ended. The fact that I hurt you.”

I wrinkled my nose at his response. “You think?”

He made a heavy sighing sound, so I crossed my arms over my chest for further explanation. Figuring I deserved that much.

“I’m so shit at this. Knew I would be.”

“Shit at what?” I couldn’t help but snort. “Apologising? ‘Cause I’d have to agree with you there.”

George rolled his eyes at me or perhaps himself, I wasn’t too sure, but it annoyed me all the same.

“I just meant that- the way things happened, the things I said, what I did, it’s all been playing on my mind. I feel like I owe you an apology for how it all turned out. You were the most important thing to me and I just- I pushed you away, figuring it would be better in the long run.”

He dragged a hand across his face in agitation, rubbing at his eyes now.

“Better for who, me or you?” I found myself asking, and there was that burning sensation again, stinging just behind my eyes.

“You. Always you.” George assured me in a hushed tone, though it sounded a little more like a promise to my ears. “Ever since I’ve known you, Birdie, all I’ve ever done is make you my life. It was all about you. You were my first everything. There was no one that made me happier. You were practically my everything.”

“Were.” I heard the break in my voice as clear as he did, but I had to watch his face crumble all on my own.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He hurried to amend, “You know I didn’t.”

“I don’t know anything anymore, George.” I forced out. Throat tight, eyes watering. But I had to get this out. “I thought you were it for me. I thought we were forever, you know? I never even expected it. You’d pulled away so quickly, I thought it was just stress of finishing the album, pressure of tour dates. Fuck- I felt so stupid! I still do!”

I sucked in a deep breath, pinching at the bridge of my nose in hopes that it would bide me a bit more time before the tears fell.

“Because here I am, still letting you break my heart. All over again. I’m done. I can’t do this.”

“Do what?” He fired back as I went to turn away.

“I can’t act like it all never happened, George! I can’t be your friend again! I can’t stand here and just pretend.”

“Oh, and you think this is so easy for me?” He narrowed his eyes, raising his voice to get his emotions across.

“Easy for you? Yes! Yes of course I think it would be easy for you! You’re the one that left me, George! You don’t get to be the one who struggles here. You made this choice for the both of us!”

“That’s fucking funny ‘cause I don’t remember you putting up much of a fight!” George quipped right back, and I could honestly put a hand to my chest and swear then and there that I felt my heart stop beating. I couldn’t even believe he’d just said that to me. 

He knew where to hit where it hurt. 

“It’s hard to do much of anything when every part of you just stops.”

George opened his mouth to say something else, but nothing came out. No words, no excuse. Nothing.

“And you know what gets me the most?” I asked him in a broken whisper, tasting the salty tears that now stained my lips. “That I was so blindsided. That even now, I don’t know what it was I did that made you walk away so easily.”

I sucked in another hollow breath. Eyes falling closed. I couldn’t be here any longer. I couldn’t do this. Whatever this was.

“You guys alright?”

My eyes snapped straight open at Matty’s question and I must’ve looked like a deer caught in headlights when they flickered over to meet his wary expression. Never had I ever been so thankful to see him.

“Fine.” I answered before George could even think of doing so, swiping the wetness that clung to the skin of my cheeks, forcing a smile. “In dire need of a strong drink though, maybe the number to a cab as well, please.”

Matty’s mouth opened and closed for a second, but I couldn’t stay in that room much longer and was able to slip by him as quick as I could. I only heard the briefest snippets of the hushed conversation I’d left behind just before I hurried towards the nearest bathroom.

“The fuck have you done?” Came Matty’s harsh murmur and I could easily picture the look of angry confusion painted across his face.

There was a small pause before George’s hushed voice travelled out of the kitchen, following me down the hallway like a frail ghost.

“Think I just fucked it royally.”

Part five>

[triplesilverstar]

Brad to the rescue

Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Pairing: Vash X F!Reader

CW: Canon Typical Violence, mentions of injury, blood and injury, Wolfwood being a Brat, Vash is passed out

Word count: 2.4K A/N: Chapter one of Home. After the whirlwind adventure that was the sand steamer you find yourself rescued by Home, with Vash still passed out and you not being in the best shape either the intervention of Brad and Luida is more than welcome since you know you could use the reprieve. The only downside is the tag along trio is with you, and you don't get the feeling you'll be able to just leave them behind. Then again. You could always hog-tie Wolfwood up since at least Roberto still gives you the sense he wants to be long gone from the brewing storm that's hovering over your final destination in JuLai.

“Brad!” The sight of the older man seemed to make the thundering of your heart slow, and your grip on Vash loosened ever so slightly. Sure steps as he walked closer a few of the others from Home with him, the reason for the sound of thundering feet. 

“Should have known the plant acting up was from the brat getting involved.” While it seems like he’s muttering under his breath you’ve learned enough about him over the years, and he’s glad to see the two of you running his fingers through his graying locks. 

“Pardon the interruption, you two seem to be a bit chummy.” The bite in his tone is enough to tell you Roberto is in no way sorry about butting in, arms crossed and his eyebrow raised a rare show of emotion that isn’t just frustration on the older reporter. 

“You could say that.” Slowly lowering down to the ground on one knee beside Meryl you can hear some of Brad’s joints pop and crack as he does. “Excuse me, young lady” reaching across her to place a hand on Vash’s chest. “Looks like it really took it out of the brat this time.” 

“It seems to be getting longer.” Whispering to Brad since you still haven’t removed Vash from your lap which has to look comical now that you think about it. Vash towers over you and you’ve somehow got most of him tucked up against your body with his head resting against your shoulder and neck. The rare exhale from him cooling against your skin, a reminder he’s still alive. 

“I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about, probably just pushed himself too hard.” Brad doesn’t miss the fear in your eyes, and while he’s concerned for Vash just as much as you are it’s a bad idea to let you see that same fear reflected back. “You wanna get out of here kid? Back to the ship?” 

After the events of the last few weeks, the destruction of Jeneora Rock, having Knives make a direct threat on your life and then change his mind, being eaten by the grand worm, watching as Vash had to witness seeing a child he thought he had failed to save die? And now after what had happened in the sand streamer? “Yea. I think that’s a good plan, we could use the rest.” You and Vash both, him more so as far as you’re concerned wondering if part of the reason he’s still unconscious is because of all the other stress he’s been under lately. You doubt your most recent fight in the sand isn’t helping either, sure the two of you settled what was bothering you it had still been emotionally draining.

Looking over his shoulder Brad waves at two of the others that you recognize but can’t think of their names at the moment. “Let’s get Vash back to the ship, think you two can carry him?” 

“I can help.” Feeling a slight tremble in your muscles at the slight movement as you tried to move Vash, only for Brad to chuckle at you.

“Did you think I missed that blood-soaked bandage around your leg? You’re in no condition to be trying to carry the brat, I’ve got my doubts if you can even stand on your own two feet.” Frowning in response to his words and knowing stare, you do relent letting the other two take Vash from your grasp.

A morose expression on your face as Vash is slowly carried off, the smallest of shakes from Wolfwood’s hand as they pass as if he was going to reach out and stop them. Grinding his teeth as he turned his gaze back to you once more, snapping. “If she can run on it, she can walk.” You’d like to punch him right then and there for all the bite he let color his words, you’d pulled off the impossible for him in stopping the ship and he’s already back on his mission to make sure you get to JuLai.

Brad lets out a huff shaking his head in disappointment ignoring the tanned man and staring at you. “Seems like you just never learn Snipes.” With Vash out of your lap and having been sitting with your legs at an odd angle for so long you're starting to feel the pain coming back while you scowl in Wolfwood’s direction. A sign your body is trying to heal the injury now that you’ve finally stopped exerting yourself and it requires your attention more than the undertaker. Using your palm to help you rise to the floor, as a smaller gloved one is held in front of you. 

“Maybe you should try and take it a little easier.” She bit her lip and watched you, her blue eyes swimming in confusion yet Meryl still held out her hand for you to take. 

“I will once I get to the ship.” Taking her offered hand in your own and rising, glad that once you’re standing you don’t stumble. Keeping an eye on Meryl and sending her a soft smile. “Good job, without you things might have turned out differently.” Very differently with that ion cannon. 

“I just pressed a button.” Blinking in confusion. 

“It was more than that.” Patting her shoulder lightly trying to reassure her. “You could have run, could have left to save yourself and you didn’t.” Unaware that Roberto is flinching just out of sight. “But” you let your smile shift into a hint of a frown “you still need to stop running after the sound of gunfire Penny.” 

Laughing as she stomps her feet back to proclaiming that’s not her name and how you know that. “These three friends of yours?” Brad still has his arms crossed over his chest, and you realize it must seem just as suspicious to him about you and Vash having an entourage of sorts. 

“I guess you could say that. They’ve been following us around for the last few weeks.” Ignoring the annoyed noises coming from the trio you keep going “I get the feeling they’re gonna follow us onto the ship. Hope that’s not a problem, but if it is well it’s not my decision to make.” 

Trailing a hand through his hair before nodding “Since they’ve seen Vash it makes sense anyway, Luida is going to prefer to make sure once the town is alright and the ship before we take off. Let’s get you to the ship before anyone can ask too many questions alright.” Nodding yourself you head down the corridor aware of the trio following behind you and Brad, even with your slower pace it doesn’t take long to catch up to the pair carrying Vash. 

Your heart is clenching in your chest seeing him still glowing and the blissed-out expression on his face with his unseeing eyes looking straight ahead. You’ll never get used to seeing it, the aftermath of speaking with one of his siblings and you hope you never have to.

Once on the ship, the trio can’t keep the astonishment from their faces which you choose to ignore keeping pace with the pair carrying Vash down a familiar corridor. “Not the infirmary?” Swallowing past the nerves overtaking you once more, as much as you hate doctors you can at least manage going to the medical section of the ship. 

“You and I both know he’ll come out of this when it’s time, it doesn’t make sense to stick him on a cot to monitor when we can put him in his own bed.” Clapping a hand to your shoulder as Brad tries to put your mind at ease. It’s honestly not working all that well. “Vash is a tough kid, he’ll come out of this before you know it.” 

Reaching the sliding door to your shared room with Vash on the ship you sigh, nodding in agreement but it doesn’t help the churning in your stomach. Maybe the stress from the past few weeks is back in full force again, you and Vash might have made up a little after the events with Rollo but that didn’t negate all the stress the last few weeks have brought besides the emotional turmoil. Normally after something bad the two of you would hole up in a hotel for a few weeks, and what happened in Jeneora Rock alone was far more sever than your usual trouble. 

Pausing at the door once the pair brought Vash in and looking to Brad biting your lip. “Could you keep these three outside?” Talking low so only he can hear you, watching him nod before you slip inside, removing your busted rifle from your back and leaning it against the corner as best as you can. You can’t focus on that right now, or you might not be able to keep yourself together. You can break later.

Once Vash is on the bed you thank the other two and as the door slides shut you close the distance to his side, keeping your touch gentle as you remove his coat careful of the pauldron for his prosthetic. Hanging it on the back of one of the chairs in the room before you work on his boots, and work your way to his belt to slide his holster from the straps keeping it in place. Setting it and peace bringer on the small table on what you’ve always considered his side of the bed before finally removing his sunglasses, his eyes still wide open. 

“Oh, Sunshine.” Alone trying to keep the tears from falling down your face. “Please hurry back, I hate seeing you like this.” Careful as you can you let your fingers trail down his face closing those blue eyes that are normally so expressive, pressing a kiss to his forehead before rising. You need to do some moving or you might just curl up against him and let your emotions get the better of you. 

Removing your jacket and placing it on the other chair before you hear a commotion outside the room. Stepping past the door to see Brad and Wolfwood having a stand-off, sighing. “What now?” Groaning as you drag a hand down your face in frustration. You couldn’t even get more than ten minutes without something happening. 

A low growl is your answer before a much softer and level-headed voice speaks. “It seems our guest is not much of a fan of the no-smoking rule on the ship.” 

“Luida.” Looking around Brad you see the older woman and leader of ship three, better known as Home standing there. A flick of your fingers and you’ve got the cigarette that had been hanging from Wolfwood’s mouth snatched from him. “Play nice Undertaker or she’ll kick you off the ship.” It’s an empty threat, you can’t see Luida ever kicking someone off the ship once they get on but Wolfwood doesn’t need to know that. “Hard to follow something you won’t be able to keep up with.” A final drop of that hint and you know he’ll relent. 

“Tch” Frowning at you before turning his attention back to Luida “it wasn’t even lit.” One of his hands is stuffed in his pocket while the other is still cradling his weapon. No doubt looking for another stick made from worms to stick between his teeth.

“Regardless, there is no smoking allowed on this ship.” As always Luida gives the impression of her calm warming charm, a leader full of compassion with her hands folded in front of her and a smile on her face that reaches her eyes. Her voice cutting to ensure the dark haired man understood she was in charge.

“Do you ever put that thing down?” Snarking at Wolfwood when you’d much rather be still in your room. Ideally doing some puttering and glancing at Vash while you worked waiting for him to wake up once more. 

“Never know when I might need it.” Growled back as you roll your eyes at him practically able to hear the sound of his teeth grinding in his skull. Rolling his shoulders and ignoring you before his gaze is squarely on Brad. “Anywhere on this bucket of bolts, I can get something to eat Grandpa?”

It’s instantaneous as you slap the back of his head at his disrespectful tone, a short look of astonishment on his face before Brad laughs. “Yea, come on. I can take you where the other two headed off to and get some food into you too.” A wave of his hand and Wolfwood follows after, but not without sending you a scathing look. 

“It’s good to see you.” Luida’s voice is soft as you turn your attention to her once more, rubbing the back of your head almost shyly at how close she is. 

“Yea. It’s good to see you too, and Brad. It’s nice to be home I think.” Tapping your foot on the floor, an action you regret as you wince with the pain racing up your leg. Guess your body wasn’t working as fast as usual or all the running around the ship had compounded your injury. 

“I see you’re still getting yourself into trouble.” A gentle chortle as a dainty hand covers her mouth. “Let’s go see about that leg of yours hmm?” 

“You don’t need to Luida. It’ll be healed up in no time.” Not that you don’t appreciate the offer but you want to get back to Vash as soon as possible, you want to be there when he wakes up from his plant-induced nap. 

A stern call of your name and you wince for a different reason, the look on her face closer to that of an annoyed parent than a friend at the moment. “Vash will be fine without you hovering over his side, and he’ll worry over you and your leg. We won’t be gone too long getting you patched up, now follow me.” That tone of hers books no argument and you sigh, following after Luida to the infirmary. You know it won’t be just getting your leg patched up, no doubt Luida will want a blood sample to check how you’re doing and to shoot a few needles of your own white blood cells into your body to stave off another chance of an infection. 

Something on your visits to Home just never changes. You aren’t sure if you’re happy about it or not, but it always does one thing. Reminds you there are people on this planet who care for you enough to think you’re worth the trouble. Just like your precious Sunshine.

Back to Masterlist for the series

[hikeyzz]

16!! (from the ask game)

If you could have sex without any consequences or restrictions at all (eg. no matter how risky it is you can’t die or be hurt - more than you want to be, that is, wink wonk - and you could fit comically huge things inside you without issue), what would you do?

👀 on god this ... of all the questions.....

okay this is fantasy ONLY and tw for guns, knives, blood, rape, and kinda snuff ig

I would get fucked with a loaded gun with their finger on the trigger the whole time. Sobbing and shaking and terrified for my life. And finally being relieved when they fuck me with their cock instead. Only for them to pull out a dagger and make me lick the blade, dragging it down my body, pressing it against my stomach and telling me to beg for my life. Wiping away my tears with the blade and telling me I begged so pretty for them. Only for them to pull their cock out of me and replace it with the dagger, fucking me on it as I scream and bleed out. When I've gone into shock and they're satisfied by the empty look in my eyes they fuck me again with their cock, sticking the gun in my mouth and fucking it, occasionally shooting into my head and watching me pass out and come back. Blood and cum splattering all over as they drain their balls inside me. My body healing slowly, the blood covering us both, the blood soaked dagger and gun are the only proof of the assault. I'd break into sobs, coming back and realizing everything they'd done as they turn into the most soft caring reassuring twisted fck ever. Holding me close and letting me get all the tears out, telling me I did so well and that must have been soooo scary. Their hands still covered in my blood, wiping away my tears and rubbing it on my cheeks. Rocking me and telling me I'm safe, they've got me, it's all okay now. Coming down and they ask me how that felt and I shudder as I tell them what the pain felt like, feeling them get hard again underneath my ass but they just listen to me and run their hands through my hair. Asking if I liked it, if it made me excited to be slashed to bits and brutalized for them. I blush and they kiss me sweet and soft and ask if I'm getting turned on thinking about it. They feel my wetness leaking out of me and turn to making me cum over and over again, tormenting me about what a little masochist I am and how I'd do anything to make them happy, even be impaled, shot, and bleed out...

so. um. yeahh. that. 😵‍💫

[nicholaskyleedwards]

The Pier

The pavement was wet and inviting and it didn't smell foul. It was content and serene, with calm pebbles littered about the scene. There was trash thrown about and a fountain, drained empty. The ground spread to the railing, rusted and severed in places of wear

I think back to when my brother would wake me in the dark of morning and have me take him to work.

We would leave around four in the morning, but I didn't mind so much.

I would cook eggs and bacon and smoke stoges under last moonlight.

I'd open my blue eyes to see the blue sky littered with small stars still visible against the sunrise and I felt like a prince.

I felt American.

One morning, on a pier in San Diego,

I walked blue, wooden boards, lined up and nailed systematically.

The dock was a light shade of blue

and it's finish cracked like snake skin from its life in the sun.

I stepped in slow strides on a path to mindful meditation.

I enjoyed the thumps of my feet, how they echoed along the loosely nailed boards,

creaking and croaking with every shift in weight.

Smiles were held out towards me by those passing by

on their fellow morning stroll.

There was a young girl with her father that stood out to me,

she wore an off-white shaded dress, with a black waist band tied neatly in a bow upon her lower back.

They sat against the railing, looking out to the sea in coin operated binoculars,

sharing laughter.

I wanted connection and laughter to share.

I did not know what I was doing here on this beach at this particular moment

but I didn't care whether I did or not.

The breeze had come in and it was lovely.

I inhaled the cold, coastal air as it blew against my jacket.

My hands found the metal railing and, though I knew there were multitudes of germs and Lord knows what else upon said railing,

I followed it along the edge of the dock.

There was gum and stains scattered amongst the painted pier,

discoloring the blue.

The floor scattered trash, only every few feet or so,

like a manicured art piece,

an art piece that spoke volumes of its previous owners.

The seagulls and sea birds sure did seem to appreciate it,

as they were chipping at them with curious pecks like they were interesting snacks.

Boats floated by,

they were black and brown and green and blue.

I looked for a long while on the ripples they left behind.

Some were large and some small, but they all lingered the same amount of time.

There were cargo ships and Navy ships and speed boats and cruise ships,

but the tugboats are what I favored the most.

They drew steam in light billows and I would watch their routes cross and retreat.

They were plump and strong,

pulling steel vessels five times their size quite quickly from the shallow harbor.

It was quite comical to consider,

such a necessary nautical process, in reality, meaning that a tiny boat has to pull a huge ship out of the harbor because it can't do so itself.

They would reap the waterway and blow their horn in announcement and then pull off, allowing the larger ships to push on through to their departure.

I sat there thinking, I wonder if I think too much?

I had been in the sun for an hour,

my throat felt raw and I wanted a drink.

You can be so thirsty and still never want to leave.

All that surrounded me was the forgotten water bottles of strangers and the salty water beneath me.

My body felt heavy because I was tired.

I still can always taste the beach,

I still lick my lips and taste salt water as both virtue and sin.

As my days are go along, I think back to the time I spent on the pier.

[someplace-darker]

Wicked | Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington (Steddie)

Wordcount: 1.4k

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, pwp, marijuana usage, taunting, eddie calls steve 'princess', mentions of scars, steve is submissive (kind of)

Summary: Steve had shown up on his doorstep asking to smoke only to end up taking it like the pretty whore he is in Eddie’s bed.

A/N: ngl. this was a request from @h-llfire and it was supposed to be more filthy than it ended up being, so now it's porn with a bunch of longing stares and gentle touches.

“I need you to relax, Harrington.”

“I’m trying.”

Steve huffs, annoyance clear on his face as he tries to look past the bunched-up fabric of his sweater to see where Eddie is currently pressing into him so agonizingly slow. Eddie’s palms land on his stomach– an inch or two from the scars he gained during Watergate— and slide upwards, heated and greedy as they come to rest against his chest. Eddie’s thumbs slide over the boy’s nipples, applying the slightest bit of pressure until some of the tension in Steve’s body drains, hazel eyes almost black with the dilation of his pupils as he watches with a debased sense of longing.

It’s just the right amount of lax for Eddie to bury himself completely, a wicked sense of pride sprouting like vines in his chest when Steve keens, dick twitching where it lays flushed and weeping against his stomach. “You look good like this, princess,” Eddie murmurs, jaw clenching from the effort of his own restraint. Everything in his body is lit and it’s dangerously close to the base of the wick, something fiery and sharp ebbing at his subconscious.

“Too hot,” Steve pants, fingers finding the hem of his shirt and half-heartedly attempting to wrench it upwards. Eddie watches the brunette struggle for a moment, allowing him to remove his arms from the sleeves himself but stepping in when the collar gets stuck, laughing fondly under his breath. He moves his hands from Steve’s chest, one going under the boy’s neck to lift his head, the other tugging the rest of the clothing free and tossing it to the floor.

Steve hardly has time to form a ‘thank you,’ instead arching upwards when Eddie pulls back and fucks back into him in a way that punches the air from his lungs. It’s overwhelming, arms instinctively crossing over his eyes to eliminate one sense to focus on what the rest of his body was feeling. “Ah ah,” Eddie chides, ringed hand plucking the brunette’s arms away to gather his wrists and pin them upwards “can’t have you hiding those lovely eyes. Need you to watch.”

“Fuck, Eddie,” Steve says his name with reverence, his own tone shocking him. They had fooled around a handful of times, sure, but this is new. This is so much better than all the times the metalhead would pump his fingers in Steve’s ass, mouth suckling at the head of his dick until he came like that, high and completely blissed out with his boxers hanging off an ankle. The thought occurs then to Steve that it could be like this more often.

And Eddie?

His thoughts are brushed aside by Steve rolling his hips, choking out a moan when Eddie’s cock strokes against his prostate, skin tingling and part of him wonders if this is what Heaven feels like- if there is one. After all that they’ve seen, he’s starting to think there’s not. “Oh, baby, you’re just so needy for me, aren’t you?” Eddie coos, pressing Steve’s hands further into the pillow they’re resting on. The brunette’s eyes start to roll as an act of exasperation, but end up rolling into the back of his head in bliss when Eddie’s hand wraps around his cock, pumping in time with the rock of his hips.

Eddie thinks he can live the rest of his life like this. Truly- it’s not a half-assed sentiment that will pass after he cums, no, this is real. Of course, he can’t say it out loud when he’s hips-to-ass with Steve, who is writhing beneath him and trying his damndest to wiggle his wrists out of Eddie’s hold. It’s a bit comical the more he thinks about it, how Steve had shown up on his doorstep asking to smoke only to end up taking it like the pretty whore he is in Eddie’s bed.

“Jesus, fuck— you’re so cocky, Munson,” Steve grunts out, tapering off into a whimper when the other boy’s thumb presses lightly to the head of his dick. “I think I have a right to be, Harrington,” Eddie chuckles, bucking into the brunette once more “after all, I’m the one making you cry because of how good I feel inside you.” Steve scrambles to find a snarky remark to bite back with but fails to grasp onto a sentence, instead gasping, one hand finally escaping the hold and flying out to grab Eddie’s side with an aching grip. There’s sure to be fingerprint-shaped bruises later with crescent moon accents, and the idea of walking around with proof of their escapade has Eddie moaning low in his throat.

Steve’s mind is racing, there’s so many questions lingering in the back of his head but they’re all overtaken by Eddie- the way his hand is wrapped around Steve’s dick, the way he’s rocking into him at a steady pace, how his fingers are moving from his wrist to graze along his palm before eventually intertwining with his own.

“Let me hear you, Harrington,” Eddie mumbles, a fierceness that he didn’t know he contained bubbling through the surface of his emotions “too many thoughts in that pretty little head of yours. Don’t think, just feel it. Feel me.” Sweat beads along Steve’s forehead, hair damp and splayed out against the white pillow beneath his head. “Shit— I feel you,” Steve breathes between moans, all sarcasm and need to taunt draining from his body. He holds onto Eddie’s hand tighter, lifting his head in a desperate attempt to feel the boy's lips on his own, to learn his taste and memorize how his tongue presses against his.

Luckily Eddie catches on and meets him halfway, grinning into the kiss as their teeth clash unceremoniously, soaking up the moan that passes Steve’s lips and settles between their shared air. Pulling back to breathe, Steve takes the time to truly look at him, eyes flitting across his features because he wants to remember this. The curls framing Eddie’s face stick in some places, bangs matting to his forehead and Steve can’t help but unclench his grip on the boy’s side, instead opting to cradle Eddie’s face. Tracing the shape of his lips and dragging his index finger up the curve of his nose before he pushes some of the dark curls out of his eyes.

“You’re so good, Eddie. Gonna cum soon,” Steve slurs, grin dimpling his face and he wonders if he’s always been this sultry or if it’s simply just the fading buzz of weed in his system.

Eddie’s rhythm falters at the gesture, a choked whimper giving away just how close he is. Steve whines when the friction on his cock stops and the all-consuming pumping of Eddie’s dick inside of him slows, but then he’s being pulled up with the boy as he shifts. The brunette resists the urge to wipe the sweat on his palms off onto Eddie as he’s tugged into his lap, instead overtaken with just how fucking deep the change in position has left Eddie’s cock nestled inside his ass.

“Get yourself off, Steve. I know you want to,” Eddie smiles, hands wrapping around to his backside.

He’s right, he does want to get off. The warmth between the two of them is enough to make his dick jump, hips rocking forward as he raises himself up only to drop back down. Eddie’s face finds solace in the crook of Steve’s neck, groans muffled through the process of sucking purple marks into the brunette’s skin.

Eddie pulls Steve forward with every bounce, listening to the distinct sounds of panting morphing into whines that catch in his throat. "Come on, Harrington, doing so well," Eddie praises, lips pressing to his jaw. One, then two more shifts of his hips pushes Steve over the edge, eyes pinched shut at the overstimulation from his cock being trapped between their sweat-slicked bodies. Eddie can feel the rumbling from the brunette's groans against himself, teeth biting down onto the junction of his neck as he follows suit, spilling into the condom.

He allows himself a few more thrusts before he finally stills, continuing to hold Steve as close as he would let him, leaning back to search his face for any signs of discomfort. What he finds makes him snort out a laugh, the checked-out daze in Steve’s eyes matching the way he breathes heavily through his mouth, usually stylized hair now a mess of sweat and tangles.

Eddie reaches up to smooth some of it out, the corner of his mouth quirking once more “What were you saying about me being cocky?”

Steve shakes his head, clouded eyes focusing on Eddie’s warm gaze, lips twitching to mirror his “Shut up, Munson.”

[d-andilion]

If you're looking for a prompt, can you do something inspired by that vlogger comic?

Congrats and hope you're having a wonderful day ❤️

(part 1/ part 2//)

i really did intend to do something super short but i should have known better than to think i’m capable of that lol 

the art in question is this adorable modern au comic by @zellydoodle, definitely check it out!!

thank you so much for the prompt - enjoy <3

~

The next time Geralt sees his new neighbor, they’re both squeezed into their building’s tiny laundry room, neither of them looking their best. The only clean shirt Geralt had left was the lime green tank top Lambert gave him as a gag for his birthday a few years back and, based on Jaskier’s mismatched pink t-shirt and bright orange shorts, he’s on the last scraps of his own wardrobe. 

Geralt had half a mind to turn around the moment he saw Jaskier loading a machine. Call him a coward, maybe he is, but being in close quarters with the cute guy from next door after the conversation he had with Lambert last week was the last thing he wanted.

‘Conversation’ is probably generous. It was really a string of incomprehensible key-smash texts and laughing emojis on Lambert’s side and pointed refusal to respond on Geralt’s. Somewhere in the middle of it all was a link to a YouTube video from a vlogger with almost a million subscribers. A vlogger who looked very, very familiar.

Geralt didn’t even need to watch it to know what it was about. The title said it all. 

         my neighbor is so hot :(

He did watch it, of course. Jaskier was as cute in his video as he’d been that day in the hall, though admittedly less sweaty. He sat on his floor in front of a wall of fairy lights, surrounded by boxes as he uncorked a bottle of wine.

“Unfortunately, my dears, today’s tale is a doozy,” he said miserably. “If you are prone to second-hand embarrassment, I highly suggest you click away from this video at once.”

One look at the view counter beside the video told Geralt that Jaskier’s followers most certainly did not click away. There were already nearly a million views, and more still rolling in.

“Today,” Jaskier continued, filling his wine glass to the brim as he spoke, “I met the love of my life.”

Geralt would deny it if ever asked, but he may or may not have tugged the neck of his jumper up over his nose to cover his surely bright red cheeks for the rest of the video. Jaskier described their encounter—Geralt coming across him in the hallway, offering to help with his boxes, refusing an invitation inside for pizza with an excuse about meeting someone for dinner.

Jaskier seemed to think Geralt had been making up his dinner plans to get away from his “weird, sweaty neighbor”, but Geralt really did have plans with Eskel that night. Besides, he’d thought Jaskier was only offering to be polite. He hadn’t wanted to impose.

With every passing minute of the video, Geralt’s stomach fluttered with more nervous butterflies. Where he had been berating himself for his usual taciturn one-word responses, Jaskier had been adoring his dry wit. When Geralt had worried about freaking out his new neighbor with yellow eyes and ghostly white hair, Jaskier had been thinking about how “otherworldly handsome” he was. 

And the most unbelievable part of it all was that Jaskier actually thought he was out of Geralt’s league. He lamented at length to his camera as he drained his wine glass that his super hot neighbor was surely weirded out and would never ever speak to him again. 

“I mean, seriously!” Jaskier cried with more than a hint of melodrama. “How am I supposed to marry this stupidly gorgeous buff angel now?”

Since watching the video (and lying face-down on his sofa for twenty minutes), Geralt had made every effort to avoid his neighbor. His brothers harangued him endlessly for it. After all, he had a cute, single guy right next door who was definitely interested. He was basically guaranteed at least a date if he asked. Why wouldn’t he jump at that chance?

But Jaskier was famous. Internet famous, but still. His video had more than two million views last time Geralt checked, and all his pictures on Instagram (yeah, Geralt looked, sue him) had tens of thousands of likes. And if his music was anything to go by, his career was only going up from here.

As Geralt scrolled through page upon page of commenters gushing about how amazing his neighbor was, all he could think about was, how could he fit into that? Sure, Jaskier liked him now as a handsome and helpful stranger, but getting to know him could easily change that. Better let Jaskier live in the fantasy he built up in his head. Let him keep thinking Geralt is interesting and mysterious instead of… well. Him.

The universe evidently had other plans.

Now Jaskier is leaning against his rumbling washing machine, his cheeks turning the same bright rosy color as his shirt. Geralt stands across from him in front of his own machine, stealing glances every now and then between drawn-out inspections of his shoelaces. Neither of them has said a word since their cursory hellos upon Geralt’s arrival. The silence is officially awkward.

Geralt flicks his eyes up for another glance, but this time Jaskier is looking. His eyes are the most perfect shade of blue, like the sky on a clear, clear day. He smiles, a bit nervous.

“So,” Jaskier begins pleasantly at the exact moment that Geralt blurts out, “I saw your video.”

For a split second, Jaskier’s expression is completely blank. Then his blush spreads from his cheeks to his entire face and down his neck, and he throws his head back with a groan, covering his face with both hands.

“Oh my fucking god,” he mutters. “I’m so sorry, Geralt, you were not supposed to see that.”

“It’s alright,” Geralt says dumbly, unsure what to say, but it seems to be the right thing. Jaskier removes his hands from his face and he’s wincing a little, but at least he’s looking Geralt in the eye.

“It’s really not, but I appreciate you saying that,” he replies with an embarrassed little grin. 

Geralt shrugs. “Always nice to hear you have biceps that could bring a man to tears.”

“Noooooooo,” Jaskier moans, but he’s smiling now. He has a lovely smile. Like sunshine.

They fall into another beat of silence, but this one is more comfortable than before, like all the tension has seeped out of the room.

“So, I suppose a date is out of the question now that I’ve waxed poetic about your muscles in front of the entire internet?” Jaskier asks. He’s clearly trying to keep a casual expression, but something else bleeds through—something hopeful.

Geralt takes a breath to temper his racing heart. It doesn’t work. “I wouldn’t say it’s completely out of the question,” he says.

Jaskier’s perfect blue eyes go wide. “Really?”

Geralt tries a smile. “Is it too late for pizza?”

Jaskier grins ear to ear. “Definitely not too late for pizza.”

~~

send me a prompt!

[chilly-me-softly]

Expecting Babies • Ben Chilwell

Being the head of a successful design company at only twenty-six is prodigious. Or at least that's what the newspapers write. Alexandra Brooks has everything in life. She built her entire empire on her own, starting drawing sketch after sketch in high school when classes got too boring. And she had done everything to pursue her dream, to live off her passion.

But for some time now something inside her has faded away, she can no longer find her place in the world and her passion seems to have abandoned her. She hasn't picked up a pencil for months now and deadlines are inevitably approaching. She needs new stimulation, new ideas to reignite the flame, but she doesn't have the energy to look for them. Her staff are giving her a big hand but even an untrained eye could tell that it isn't her in those sketches.

She can pretend so well that everything is fine though, continuing to attend dinners and events and more. Always with a smile on her face, always friendly with everyone. But all this also drains her last remaining energy and by now she struggles to even pretend to follow a conversation.

She misses something. She feels an emptiness inside that she cannot put a name to. Perhaps it's because of the sudden success she has had, she has not stopped since that day, always ready to release collection after collection and open locations in various parts of the country and take the good and the bad from everyone's press and support.

Yet she is surrounded by people who love her, who were there with her even before she became who she is today and who are now trusted people working with and for her. She really does have everything she could ever want.

Or maybe not.

-

"I want a baby" the first person she had admitted it out loud to had been her friend Ben.

They had met at the very beginning of both their careers, her company was looking for some well-known faces to start making themselves known around, and who else but a new rising football star? She was still quite young and he quite shy, but they had clicked right away. Alex liked to be at the forefront of her work and had often even found herself asking for the boy's opinion as a customer. The two had become fast friends, they supported each other and as soon as they had the chance they would meet up to spend time together.

"W-what?" the footballer had widened his eyes as he sat on her sofa that evening and looked at her as if she had suddenly grown a horn in the middle of her forehead. Yet she was so sure, that was the missing piece that would allow her to get her life back on track.

She had been thinking about it for a while and had even started doing her research, many nights ending up crying herself to sleep with the computer next to her, knowing how hard and complicated the matter was. But when she was around children she was a different person, almost unrecognisable. They were laughing and she was the happiest person in the world because she had been the one to entertain them; they were looking for her with their eyes and she was already watching them. But when they left, that feeling of emptiness returned powerfully.

"I don't want that from you obviously, relax" the boy seems to visibly relax and she doesn't know if the situation is more comical or something else.

"Sorry I-" the boy tries awkwardly but she stops him by shaking her head, she knows the situation is what it is and she doesn't blame him for having a small heart attack.

"It's fine, I don't want anything from you. I just wanted to make you aware of my decision as my friend"

"Thanks, I guess"

"Come ooon - she rolls her eyes pushing him by the arm - it's that catastrophic as a decision?!"

"No it's- it's unexpected that's all. I didn't think that-"

"What, that I wanted a family?" the bitter in her mouth as she utters those words lowering her gaze to his legs.

"No, that you wanted a baby so badly that you wanted one on your own" he admits and she feels one of his hands rest reassuringly on her knee, "I never doubted you'd be a great mother, just it's huge"

"I know. But it's what I want"

"Then you can count on me for everything. Well except for... you know..." Alex laughs and in that moment she starts to catch a glimpse of a not-so-distant light.

-

Well it turned out that light was getting further and further away. Up to that point she had gone through many interviews to verify everything there was to verify about her. She had been assigned to a social worker who for some reason had already made up her mind about the girl even before the first interview began: too young to know what she wanted out of life, too young to take care of a child on her own. Plus she had no family around to help and support her, or a boyfriend for that matter, and just knowing that she had all her friends ready for anything made her wrinkle her nose. On her side at that moment only the work and money factor.

She had said that there was no hurry, that she was still young and that there would be plenty of time to look for someone and start a family. But she hadn't exactly dismissed it, in the end after tears and pleading she had said it would be difficult and that she certainly wouldn't be the first on the list. Unlikely but not impossible, that's what she'd said.

And she had hoped. The first week she hadn't moved a second away from the phone for fear that if she called and didn't answer right away, the woman would be right in thinking she wasn't reliable. Then a month had passed, then two, and she just wouldn't check the phone anymore. It was hurting more and more and Alexandra was more and more broken.

-

The press had somehow found out about this period in her private life and there was no lack of daily articles. There were those who wrote that she couldn't have children because of who knows what rare disease; those who dusted off all her old relationships and wondered who had made her decide to end it with boys; those who praised her decision to give the unfortunate a chance; but there were also those who took it as yet another whim of someone who has everything and doesn't know what to do.

Suddenly everyone felt compelled to have their own say. Every newspaper talked about her, every talk show had a window to talk about the various aspects of the issue, her private life, analysing every smallest detail to confirm or not whether she was capable of being a mother herself.

And it didn't matter if alongside the negative comments there were also those who supported her, defended her and sent her messages about their own experiences. She couldn't take comfort from that, not if the negative was always there to remind her that she would fail.

"You have to stop watching this crap" the television suddenly turned off, allowing her to see Ben's figure reflected in the screen.

"Why, it's so nice to see how people support you" she says sarcastically, shifting her feet towards herself on the couch she's lying on, in an unspoken gesture of invitation for him to sit down.

Ben rolls his eyes as he sits down beside her, "They'll call, they'd be stupid not to"

"Ben" Alex huffs not wanting to hear the same speech again. She's not fit, they won't call, end of story. The sooner she puts her mind at rest, the sooner she can try to get back to her monotonous life.

"No, listen to me for once! Why on earth do you give more credit to those jackals than to people who know you?"

"Because-" she huffs, setting herself down and trapping her hair in a low ponytail, "because it's easier I guess. It's easier than facing the truth, of admitting I failed and climbed too high and... it hurts to fall" looking down to keep her tear-fogged gaze from showing, she twists her fingers to avoid bursting completely.

"Alex" she feels him slide closer to her, his arms wrapping around her as tightly as he can in that position, "I know how hard it can be not to listen to other people, but you have to. For your sanity. You know, you are well aware of the reason for your choice and even those who love you understand that. That's enough. That must be enough for you. And you must always keep that in mind in the dark times to be able to rise again"

"It's hard" her voice broken, still struggling not to give in to tears as his arms hold her even tighter.

"I know, I know. And that's why I'm here"

-

It's the middle of the night when the phone ringing jolts her awake, her heart pounding, her eyes can't even focus on who it is at that time and her brain struggles to line up the words she is hearing. It's a familiar voice though and it's as if she suddenly wakes up when she hears two words: baby girl.

"How soon can you be here?" the woman on the other end of the phone asks as Alex is already looking for her car keys and a sweatshirt to cover up. And her heart hasn't stopped pounding in her head for even a second, as with trembling hands she gets behind the wheel and arrives at the appointed location in less than half an hour.

The woman is waiting for her at the door and starts talking and explaining so many things that Alex has to concentrate really hard to put herself aside and listen to her. She is taken into a room and her eyes immediately catch a carrier on the table. She shakes hands with other people in the room but doesn't go near that carrier, almost for fear that they will scold her.

The woman who has been shadowing her up to that point however, smiles as she invites her to come closer and when she does, she cannot quite describe what she feels as she lays her eyes on that little girl for the first time. She covers her mouth with her hand to try to hide her excitement and emotion, her vision fogging up soon after. She touches her little foot covered by the onesie and a smile peeps out on the little girl's face in her sleep. And there a few tears fall.

In no time she finds herself back in the car, her head full of information and one more person in the passenger seat. She looks at her through the rear-view mirror, her small lips slightly wide open as she sleeps and a serene expression on her face. She is reminded of what she has been told by the social worker and a wistful smile paint itself on her face. If she stops to think about everything that has happened in such a short time she already knows that she won't be able to drive home, so she looks away and concentrates.

-

It's almost half past six in the morning when she arrives home. The girl has slept during the journey and Alex makes no secret of the fact that she has stopped a couple of times just for the sake of looking at her. When she arrives home she places the carrier on the kitchen counter and smiles still incredulous.

She picks up her phone and snaps a photo, destination Ben. Crazy huh?!, she texts him. He immediately calls her.

"What are you doing up so early already?" she asks curiously, the smile on her lips that the guy on the other end can hear just fine.

"Training. Where did you steal that baby from anyway?"

She laughs, before turning serious. "They called Ben"

"I knew it!" he shouts excitedly before groaning, "but I can't come, it's not fair"

"It's not like she's running away, you can just come later" in the distance there's a horn and Ben's breathy voice saying someone to wait a minute along with the jingle of keys.

"I'll bring dinner. I have to go now, Mason is getting tired of waiting"

"Have a good day, see you later"

"Alex" he calls her back before she can hang up, "I knew you'd make it"

-

The first day as foster mother had slipped through her hands amidst disbelief and things to sort out and calls to make and what to learn. Alex had tried to stay as calm as possible, to rationalise what she needed now that the child was with her to be able to give her what she needed. The notice had been short, almost non-existent, and she found herself without a supply of even the most mundane things like nappies to say the least.

She had organised promptly, unforeseen events were part of her job after all, and she hadn't let panic overcome her. She had assigned a few people from her staff to get her this and that, suddenly too nervous to leave the house. And by the time Ben arrives, the two of them are well and truly comfortable on the couch.

"Look at you" Alex smiles as he looks at her, a dreamy expression is painted on Ben's face as he silently walks over after putting the bags down in the kitchen.

"She's pretty isn't she?"

"Actually I was talking about you, all in full mum mode" at that point she's so sure she's blushing, she can feel the heat on her cheeks as his gaze burns into her so she lowers hers onto the little one in her arms adjusting her bib absentmindedly.

"So are you going to tell me her name or do I have to guess?"

"Right... her name is Dalia. She's two months old" Ben brushes a tiny little hand with one of his fingers familiarising with that name, seeming to study her in every detail and it makes her smile.

"Do you need anything? I guess you're going crazy with that perfectionist head of yours" she giggles shaking her head slightly, it's true she's already created a thousand different lists of things but she can't explain the calmness she feels at that moment.

"Like a cot?" the boy continues and she looks at him trying to figure out what he's getting at. When suddenly it all clicks.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing" he's quick to answer but his cheeky smile tells her otherwise. "Just a welcome gift from uncle Ben"

"Uncle Ben mh?" she looks at him as he walks away heading towards the exit, turning to give her a wink before disappearing behind the door. Alex lowers her gaze to the little one once more sighing, the smile that never left her face.

-

Alexandra is about to tear her hair out of her head. Today is one of those days, one of those days when everything goes wrong. Starting with the coffee spilled on her shirt, the meeting lasted longer than expected, her tolerance threshold that has now reached its limit and Dalia who doesn't want to calm down. The little girl has been crying non-stop for hours now and frankly she doesn't know what to do anymore. The screaming has become a background noise that she swears will lead to her screaming any minute now if it doesn't subside.

"Hey what singing contest did you sign up for mh?" in the typical one octave higher voice of someone talking to children, Ben comes to her rescue by taking her into his arms and taking over in cradling her. He too has fallen in love with the little one and is one of the many people who is always there to help her no matter what she asks or what time she calls him. He said from the beginning that he would be there for both of them and so he was. Alex in return stayed up all night making little Dalia a mini version of Ben's favourite outfit, enjoying the look on his face as he realised why she had requested he wear that particular outfit that day.

Alex scoffs as she looks up from her phone screen for a moment to give him a look before setting it down on the sofa where she is sitting. Their gazes cross for a moment and Ben tries to send her a reassuring smile. He can see how tired she is, how much of herself she is putting into each day to do her best both at work and in her personal life. And some days are harder than others, he knows that; that's why it's necessary to have someone by your side with whom you can share everything, because worries or even a simple thought if kept to yourself can weigh like a boulder.

"You're doing fine" he tells her then but it's obvious from her body language that she doesn't believe him.

"Really? Tell her that, maybe she'll stop screaming like a demon"

"Do you really think it's just your problem? Kids are fussy, you're not being a bad mother" the boy's words seem to hit her hard and he immediately regrets it seeing her lost expression. He would like to make it up to her but doesn't know how and so silence falls.

"She's not mine" Alex sighs, she's actually been trying to put that concept together for days but never seems to have the courage. She knows that if she thinks it, if she admits it out loud then everything will be even more true and she won't be able to put it in a corner anymore by trying to pretend nothing is wrong.  

"Not being bound to her by blood means nothing"

"It's different, she... I have to compromise with the fact that sooner or later I will have to give her back. I'm just a vessel for her now"

"Okay I'm not getting it" his gaze is lost as he studies her as if just staring at her could make him understand everything.

Alex sighs following Ben with her gaze until he sits carefully beside her, Dalia finally exhausted struggling not to close her eyes in his arms. "She needs surgery, a routine operation among newborns nowadays the social worker said, and there are good doctors here. Her parents couldn't afford the trip so they handed her over to them who called me that-that I'm basically just..." Alex shakes her head taking a deep breath trying to make that boulder she feels in her throat vanish.

"And I'm already scared shitless because I'm already attached to them and... what if something doesn't go right? What do I know about surgeries and important decisions to be made and aftercare and all these responsibilities... I'm just a temporary mother after all"

"That's not it. You are the one who will change her life, who will allow her to grow up and do everything she wants out of life. You are not just a passing person in her life, you will be the one she will always remember because thanks to you she will have another chance"

Tears begin to roll uncontrollably down her cheeks and she does nothing at that point to stop them, only lowering her head hiding them with her hair. She feels Ben at her side stand up and so she plays with her hands at least until she feels a pair of arms wrap around her firmly and a pair of lips leaving a kiss on her hair.

"It'll be alright, I'm here with you for everything"

"This is not good. This is something I've wanted to do myself and yet I realise I can't do it. I mean you're always here and I panic immediately when something happens and you're not there and-and... what kind of person am I?!"

"Alex listen to me" Ben pulls away slightly moving his hands to her cheeks, "you are a scared person, I dare anyone not to be in this situation. And I'm here because I want to be here okay? No one is forcing me. I love you Alex and everyone needs a shoulder to cry on"

"Are you my knight in shining armour Ben?"

"Whatever you want" the girl closes her eyes as Ben's forehead comes into contact with hers, enjoying that quiet moment as long as she allows herself to.

-

"She's so small" Alex murmured, watching her sleep peacefully in her cot after the day they had had. It had been a day of hospital check-ups and she had never felt so useless in her life. She wanted them to finish as soon as possible so as to put an end to the many needles and tests they were subjecting the baby to, but that day they would decide on the final date for the surgery and at the same time, needless to say, she wanted them never to leave that room again.

She had wanted to go alone to the meeting, Ben had been willing to accompany her as always but Alex had been adamant. It was something she had to do alone, her and her baby. And frankly, she still didn't know where she'd gotten all that courage from, all that strength in watching or asking the doctor questions about the procedure and all that. She'd collapsed as soon as she'd set foot in the house and Ben hadn't left them. He is there beside her now, curious about the doctors' decision but at the same time not wanting to push her to talk if she isn't ready.

"In five days she is going to have surgery. Hopefully she should only be in hospital for a few days, I don't know"

"We'll take it day by day, no need to plan everything"

"How can I do that?" she moans with her face half hidden in his chest.

"Of course they picked just the right person for this" he teases her receiving a pinch on the arm and the desired effect.

-

Five days have flown by in the blink of an eye and those chairs in the hospital waiting room cannot be more uncomfortable. She is surrounded by the most disparate people, someone has recognised her but no one has approached her. Every time she looks at the clock it seems that time slows down more and more and she has tried to distract herself but her attention span is minimal, it takes very little for her mind to fly to the little one and the operating room and every little thing that could go wrong.

She kept in touch with the social worker who alerted the parents, she really did everything she had to do and was twiddling her thumbs when she felt a sensation she hadn't had for a long time but had become familiar with lately. Before long she was in the room with her pencil and notepad, starting to draw lines and compose, continuing to bring her new project to life.

When the doctor finally arrives in the room looking for her, her body immediately tenses up. Her legs are heavy as a stone and her throat is dry; getting up is a struggle. But she feels a sudden rush go through her body when the doctor tells her that the surgery was successful and as soon as the little girl is settled a nurse will take her to see her. The relief is so great that she collapses into tears immediately afterwards, causing Ben to worry on his way back from the coffee machines.

And her heart tightens when she can finally see her, still full of wires and from a distance, but at the same time she is relieved to see her there and proud of what she is doing for her.

The next few days are exclusively for her, if she has learned anything since having Dalia with her it's to trust others more and to delegate. Taking time for her away from work helps her a lot sometimes. When she brings her home it's like the first time, she is always there staring at her; she is almost afraid of holding her too tightly and hurting her or that she won't eat enough and won't heal as she should. But the check-ups reassure her about everything, the little one is strong and her life will certainly be better from now on.

This means that the day of her departure is inevitably getting closer and closer. She knows, she knows it cannot last forever, but when she gets the go-ahead, the world collapses on her. Planning everything and starting to put away the many things the little one has accumulated in the meantime is hard, choosing what to give her and what to keep is difficult. But she will probably end up sending everything else to her via the social worker.

She would really like to find a way for her memories of that time to remain with the little girl forever. But she is young and Alex knows that she will never remember that experience, unlike her who will never forget it. She will never forget those eyes and her giggle and all the times she ended up splashing her during bath time or the times she had to hurry to get her to eat; always so needy.

The clock is ticking too fast for her liking and the day of departure comes overbearingly. She loads everything into the car, tricking her brain into thinking about a business trip, starts the car and is almost tempted to take a wrong turn and delay the inevitable. But then a quick thought goes to the parents of that little girl who haven't seen her in six months and who have been through as much if not worse than her in that time and she takes the right road.

She stays there with her as long as she can but at some point she gets brave and says goodbye to her one last time before leaving that facility, the sooner she cuts loose the better. But the little girl starts crying when she hands her to the social worker and Alex looks at her begging her to calm down so as not to make things even more difficult.

When she gets home she can't hold back her laughter when she sees Ben sitting on the steps of her house, waving at her hinting a smile. She parks before opening the front door and once inside safe from prying eyes, wraps him in a hug.

"I miss her already" he admits, hiding his face in the crook of her neck. Alex sighs, it hadn't been easy for him to say goodbye to her the night before either. What was supposed to be her experience had soon become a couple's experience and thinking back she could never have done it without his support.

"I'll get a dog next time though" she murmurs and he chuckles, his hands sliding over her cheeks in a rather familiar position in those last few months.

"One day Alex, you will have your baby. And that baby, that baby will be so lucky to have you as their mother"

Part 2

[fanficsfromyesteryear]

happy very belated birthday, enna!! i’m so so so behind on this, and i’m sorry for that! i’ve had quite the case of writer’s block lately, but i wanted to come out of my unofficial and definitely unannounced hiatus to whip something up for you! hope your day was extra special and sending lots of love to you 💕 also, this has a super cheesy ending, but i thought it was cute and i hope you like it too @druiigg​​

“What are those for?” María asked as she tied a knot into the neck of yet another balloon, her eyes trained on the container of Quaker Oats in Billy’s hand.

“It’s bad luck to have a party without them,” Billy answered, giving the carton a shake before setting it on the corner of your desk. He paused, ducking his head in embarrassment upon meeting María’s incredulous gaze, and shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “I know it’ll just be the three of us, but I’m not taking any chances. All the worst parties I’ve ever been to have been seriously lacking in the Quaker man department, and if he’s not here to watch over us tonight, there’s no telling what’ll happen.”

María shook her head, a smile gracing her red lips. “You’re so weird,” she playfully scolded, batting the balloon in her hands over to the Rat, who reacted just late enough that it bounced off the side of his head.

Weird superstitions aside, Billy was right about one thing—the party was to be a small affair. It had been an especially hard week of classes—with the arrival of Madam Gao at Kings, the teachers had been cracking down on homework and dishing out harsher punishments. Even now, on a Saturday, you were holed up in the library, working on an assignment. After such a grueling week, all you could hope for was a peaceful night in with your closest friends, and while Billy and María knew that schoolwork was the last thing you wanted to be doing on your birthday, your absence opened up the window of opportunity for them to set their plans into motion.

Initially, María, in true María fashion, had wanted to do something elaborate for your special day—throw a big party on the rooftop, complete with plenty of cake and some of Lex’s homemade fireworks—but Billy had been quick to rein her in. Not only would such a thing be nearly impossible under Gao’s suspiciously watchful eyes, but it didn’t sound like something you’d enjoy. You took pleasure in the smaller things in life—secret smiles passed between friends over inside jokes, sharing your favorite snacks on the rooftop to stargaze after a long day, or piling together on a twin-sized bed to watch old VHS tapes. A large celebration would’ve been overwhelming on a good day, much less with how drained you’d be when you eventually called it quits on your studies.

So, María relented, opting instead to focus her party-planning energy on decorating your dorm room. After an awry training exercise in Miss De Luca’s class late yesterday afternoon, your roommate had been sent to the infirmary and had been there ever since, meaning there was no one to complain about the streamers hanging from your ceiling fan and the top of your dresser and the balloons scattered across the floor save for Billy, who knew better.

The sound of a key entering the lock drew the duo’s attention to the door, and they were quick to spring into action. Billy grabbed the cupcake from your nightstand—a little gift he’d gotten Marcus to snag for him on his way back from his job at the comic book store—and shuffled through the pile of balloons to stand at the entrance to your room, María following suit. She gripped onto Billy’s upper arm, bouncing on the balls of her feet in anticipation, but Billy was feeling a different kind of anxious.

Now that the time had finally come for you to arrive, Billy was second-guessing himself. Staring at the cupcake in his hands, he wondered if they should’ve done more—should they have taken you out somewhere?—but as the door swung open and his gaze trailed up to see your tired face break out into a smile, his shoulders relaxed, expression mirroring yours.

Suddenly, María surged forward, wrapping you in a hug. “Happy birthday, amiga!” She took a step back, opening her arms for Billy to join, which he did, winding one arm around your back and holding the other up so as not to smush the dessert.

When the three of you at last broke apart, Billy pulled his cigarette lighter out of his jean pocket, igniting the single candle that stood proudly atop the cupcake before extending it to you. “Make a wish,” he said.

“What more could I wish for?” you asked, eyes darting between the two of them. “I’ve got everything I want right here.”

[fandomlovingfreak]

Egon Spengler/F!Reader (1/3)

Before Summerville

Ch 2. Ch3.

Rating: General Audience

Trigger Warning: unplanned pregnancy, and angst

Word Count: 1356

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Summary: Congrats! You are Callie's mother in this fic. What really happened before Egon fled to Summerville?

Disclaimer: I do not own the Ghostbusters (sad, I know). This work has not been created for profit or financial compensation, and is a transformative fair use work in accordance with Section 107 of the United States Copyright Act.

Notes: I’m sort of nervous to post this. But, I hope at least some people read it aha!

Enjoy

***

He reacts just how I expected. Shock and confusion.

"You're sure?" 

"I've taken half a dozen tests, so I guess I'm fairly certain..."

"Oh--" The color has completely drained from his face.

"You don't have to-- I mean, I don't expect anything from you. If you don't want to be in... the baby's life or mine now, I understand--"

Egon blinks a few times before grabbing my arm, "I never said I was leaving you." His voice gets quiet, "I'm just confused why you want to have my baby."

Baffled by his words, I have to take a moment to digest the comment, "You don't think I'd want to have a baby with you?"

His cheeks pinken, "No."

"I want to have this baby with you. I wouldn't want to have a baby with anyone else," I cradle his face in my hands, pulling him closer to press a quick kiss to his lips, "In fact, I'd choose you to have a baby with nine out of ten times." 

His smile is small, "So, we're really doing this."

I lean my forehead against his, "I guess we are, Doctor Spengler."

four months later...

"Oh my god!" I sit up as quickly as I can.

Pulled from the first moments of sleep, Egon sits up quickly, looking slightly panicked, "(y/n)? What's wrong?" He reaches for the side table, fumbling around for his glasses.

"I swear I felt them kick," I reach for his hand, placing it right where the baby had kicked. His eyes dart up to mine before he focuses his attention on where his hand is laying on my stomach.

Minutes of silence pass before the baby aims a kick towards Egon's palm. Eyes widening comically, he moves to kneel between my legs, cradling my stomach in both of his hands.

"Oh wow..." He's got a goofy grin on his face as he continues to watch intently, waiting for the next sign of movement, "I didn't think I would... I mean, you don't realize how something like this will affect you until you experience it."

"Every moment like this makes it a bit more real, don't you think?" I yawn, settling further down in my pillow. 

Egon nods, still fascinated with the little kicks, "they're already so strong."

Four months...

"Callie Eden Spengler," I proudly announce to Ray, Peter, and Winston as they crowd around me to get a better look at the baby. "Isn't she precious?"

Peter raises his eyebrows at Ray, earning himself an elbow to the ribs.

"Ow! I was joking," Peter glares at his friend before turning back towards me, "She's obviously very beautiful (y/n). Somehow you reproduced by yourself."

Knowing Peter, I roll my eyes at the comment, "She has Egon's eyes, so I think your theory may be wrong." 

"Knock it off, you two. Now, can I hold her?" Winston asks. Handing over the baby, I glance over at the father of my child. He's got a small smile on his lips as he watches the people most important in his life interact.

I feel extremely lucky at this moment.

Three Months Later...

My stomach drops as the words leave his mouth. Leaving--? Everything is so perfect. How could he just leave?

"...and it's not-- you can't let her follow after me when she's older if she asks to. It will always be too dangerous where I'm going."

"What about me?" I feel the tears prickling at the corner of my eyes.

He just looks at me blankly. It says everything I need to know. "So it's over then." I feel strangely calm as my world crashes down around me so suddenly. Who knew your life could be so fragile without you knowing.

"(y/n)--"

"Is it done, Egon? Be honest with me."

He runs a hand through his hair, "Look. I don't want this, but it's what has to be done."

I let out a pathetic laugh, "What every woman wants to hear. You have to break up with me? We have a child!" I point towards Callie's room, "Your daughter is in the other room asleep, and you have to leave?"

He at least has the decency to look guilty as he looks over at the closed bedroom door. "There is nothing I want more than to stay--"

"Then stay!" My voice cracks as I grab his arms, forcing him to look at me, "Don't go! Stay here with me. If not for me, stay for Callie! You can't just leave us--" The tears spill from my eyes as I plead. Plead for him to see that staying here would be the right choice no matter what the future holds. I lean my forehead against his chest as I let all the impending grief spill.

A moment of hesitation later, his hands run up and down my back. I want to lean into the touch. I want to pull away from it too. 

"Don't go," I whisper against his sweater.

Egon doesn't reply with words, continuing to try to soothe me, "Please believe me, (y/n). I don't want to. I promise you if the end of the world wasn't impending... I would never leave you."

"We'll come with--"

He cuts me off before I can continue, with a stern, "No." 

"Egon..."

"You cannot come with me. I would've led with that if it were possible. I'm moving to the middle of nowhere; life will be rough and--"

"I don't care where you're going. If the three of us are together, I know it would be okay. I know how risky things can be working against the paranormal. I know the risks, and I'm ready to accept that it won't always be pretty..."

His hands cup my face, forcing me to stop speaking, "I can't take that risk." His thumb brushes against my cheek, eyes glancing down to my lips for a second before he's pressing his lips against mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him as close as possible.

He pulls away first. "I have to go alone."

"Why didn't you just-- just leave before Callie was born? Why did you have to stay around and let me get used to having everything I wanted?"

Egon startles "(y/n)."

"Don't you dare deny it. You could've walked out then. It would've been easier if you walked out then, Egon." My words are cruel, but I can't find it in me to care for his feelings when he's breaking my heart for some hypothetical end of the world. And worst of all, he's breaking our family apart.

He recoils, taking a step back and wearing a wounded look. "Because I love you. That's why (y/n)."

"If you loved me, you wouldn't do this. You wouldn't do this, Egon!"

"Someday, you will realize I'm doing the right thing."

Recoiling, I glare at him, "I will never understand why you did this."

***

Reality sets in when I open my eyes the next morning. Callie is crying, and the sun is too bright. I glance over at Egon's unoccupied side of the bed.

I want to scream... want to sit in my bed and sob over the broken pieces, but I can't. I know I have to get up and live for Callie. I won't let her lose both of her parents in one night.

I get up to tend to the baby with determination in my heart. Cradling her against my chest feels good like my heart has the capability of healing as long as I have her in my arms. 

"It's okay, my darling girl. Momma is here," I press a kiss to her forehead, comforting her, "We're going to be okay, just the two of us."

"(y/n)?" I turn towards my name. Ray stands in the doorway of Callie's bedroom.

I feel my throat clench in that terrible way that always means tears, "Ray, he's gone."

Ray can only nod.

Carefully, I set down Callie, "he's gone... and I don't think he's coming back." The words seem eerily final.

He takes two steps across the room, pulling me into his embrace. I let myself crumble.