#watching the gay kenny video for the first time

[vreeke]

rami malek bingo for you and your loved ones if you even care

[kenlvry]

LISTEN TO ME RN HEAT ME TF OUT STANS GANG + CRAIG DOIGN THE LIPSTICK TREND FROM TICTOK WITH READER

the lipstick trend with stan and craigs team

an, I AM LISTENLING ANON DONT WORRY. no idea what you mean by heat out though 🤨 , 17-18 and gn reader but use of her in tolkiens

kenny

he was the one who suggested it, it came across his fyp one day and he sent it to you "lets do this come over rn." "you asked, why dont you come to my house? 🤨" "why don't i cum in your mom" "HUH 😧" "im here."

you both definitely argue on what lipstick you should wear "okay but i don't even use pink lipstick" "well you should" "its light colour its not gonna appear" "well fuck 😒"

the process of kissing his face is wild, he would suggest to do his lips as the first place "KENNY HOW ARE WE GONNA DO THIS TREND IF YOU KEEP TRYING TO MAKE OUT WITH ME" "ITS NOT MY FAULT"

after like2 hours you finally get the lipstick on his face. now the tiktok was even harder he wouldn't stop laughing. you'd give up and he apologises while laughing

thank god you guys were able to finish it under 1 hour it turned out really good, at the end of the video he kissed you and you wanted to cut that part but he said keep it for like and its true the comments were all about the kiss on the last clip

kyle

okay he too wanted to ask you first but he was kinda shy and waited for you to ask and you did!! woohoo for kyle

"kyle wanna do this" "OKAY" he insists on picking your lipstick and picks the ugliest colour like what 😐

to him there was no such thing as an ugly colour buy it didn't suit your face so no way.

the process of it was calm, he at first wanted to put on the lipstick for you but you looked like a clown has mans never put on lipstick??

he watches you as you kiss him and reapply lipstick and then kiss him again, he feels like a princess fr 🤭🤭

he hasn't seen his face yet so when you record and he saw his face he laughs out loud, "LMAO WHY DO I LIKE THAT??" "WDYM"

you would tell him to take off his hat which he refuses but you looked too cute, when it posted cartman was first to comment and you can already tell what he commented "ew gay" your followers defended you two though 🤭

stan

stan blushes internally when you ask him. "sure im down" DEEP DOWN HE WANTS KIDNAP YOY AND KEEP YOU TO HIMSELF

"what lipstick do you think matches me best, pink or red?" "id say my tip colour" "WHAT 😧"

he has to hold in the very urge to puke every time you kiss him because like you look so cute omg.

he looks in the mirror and is js like "damn, i did it". HE LOVES IT SOOOO MUCH YOU CAN TELL HE'S BLUSHING ONGG ‼️

he even directs you like "do here next, okay now here" its so cute 🤭🤭

when you record and the camera pans to him, he smiles and covers his face blushing bc he can't contain it. it was such a cute video and got iver 2 mil likes. cartman definitely commented "i bet you had to change your clothes 10 times"

cartman

"cartman lets do this" "what." "wdym? cmon its cute" "y/n no offense but that is the most gayest shit i've ever seen" " NO ITS NOT UTS CUTE" "my reputation is at stake if i do that be so for real" "okay I'm asking kyle then" "lets do it."

he actually been wanting to ask you for weeks now but doesn't know how so winwin. you take your absolute time picking your lipstick and he couldn't be more done with "hurry up this doesn't even effect anything" "shut up cartman if i use the right one people will ask what lipstick it is and i get views"

picking a lipstick was already a big deal just imagine the process "ew gay not on my lips" "cartman 😐" tbh he wish he could just make out with you rn but yk how mans is

now recording is even more a hassle "JUST SMILE IS IT SO HARD TO CRACK A SMILE" "NOT WHILE IM LOOKING LIKE THIS" the most he does is wipes your lipstick off and then he just gives a 🙄 look until the end of the video

the comments are just him getting teased at clydes commenting "NAHHH CAN'T BELIEVE HE AGREED TO THIS" kyles is "i can tell that this took a long time" and then wendys is "is that cartman or a clone of him". cartman is pissed af at the comment, he told you his reputation is at stake 😒.

he actually has it saved downloaded and also is his live wallpaper sooo.

butters

butters is the one who asked you this " um y/n can we do this? 😣" while twiddling his fingers, "OKAY"

he's all giddy and smily during the process, after every kiss his blushes intensifies and by the end of it he is just.. 🔴

even though it is the most simplest video ever he has to have a tutorial, he is asking questions for everything man, how do i wipe the lipstick, what do i do, do i smile when its on me , do i laugh??

you tell him what he thinks he should he and he starts kissing you bc rn the sexual tension between you two is intense (to him atleast, he thinks thinks hand holding is already intense)

everyone comments on how cute he is and yk how tiktok is so people comment "does he whimper" "submissive who?" and hes likw WHATTTTT 🧍

clyde

when you suggested this he nodded so hard his head probably was about to fall off. "clyde you wanna do this" "DO I???" ..... "well.. do you?" "i mean yeah it's like a way of- yes i wanna do it"

he loves any lipstick you wear so he lets you pick. after every kiss he looks in the mirror and kicks his feet giggling and you just stand there 🤨

he also tries to make it a makeout session like kenny, when you kissed on his lips he holds your neck and literally makes out with like cnon we have 9 more

when you first hit record and yk how the guy has to wipe your lipstick off, nah he grabbed you by the chin and slams his lips with yours "WHY DIS YOU DO THAT??" "its called content,you wouldn't know with your 9 likes and 70 views"

well you kept the clip and everyone in the comments were talking about it "need a boyfriend like you y/n" "why can't my boyfriend be like this" clyde is obviously gloating bc he had the idea.

tolkien

most romantic man you know, is the first to ask you. "y/n can we do this?" "OKAY BOO 😝"

"hmm which lipstick do you think babe?" "i think every lipstick makes you pretty, it doesn't matter if it doesn't suit you because in my eyes you look beautiful in anything ☺️" "what if i wore kim kardashians 2013 met gala dress" "might have to rethink what i said"

he smiles while you kiss him here and there, every once a while he kisses you back, it was such a cute moment for you two😝🤞🤞

when recording he looks at you while smiling during the whole video and it blew up fast because of that

"the way he looks at her" "wishing he was like this" "you got the bag that man is inlove", it blew in seconds fr

craig

"craig lets do-" "okay" "i didnt even ask you yet" "I'll do anything if its with you" "what if i asked you to have a threesome" ".....if its makes you happy idk.."

idk about you but i think he acts like he doesn't care but inside he is so happy you asked he's been wanting to ask you this but doesn't know how to start up the convo

he doesn't care what lipstick or where you kiss him, its just the way you press your lips on him and look at it then quickly reapply to do it again because it wasn't pigmented enough.

when recorded, he doesn't just wipe he makes you turn to face him by grabbing your chin, and he doesn't let go and just looks at you with those yk siren eyes.

people are simping over him ong "damn girlie share for us" "you mean OUR boyfriend" "tryna find someone as hot as him" and you are pissed fr he laughs at you cursing out the people, like bae dw my eyes only fo you 😝🤞

tweek

"tweek, wanna do this?" "but what if I can't remove the lipstick stain" "tweek what dw i have makeup remover" "WHAT IF THAT DOESN'T WORK 🤯🤯" "TWEEK"

okay so the lipstick may turn out ugly bc of how shaky he is but ITS OKAY BC ITS TWEEK DUH, "a-are you sure you dont want to redo this?" "tweek its fine"

he insists on redoing it the 2nd try turns our worse because he's even more twitchy because of how close you are☺️☺️☺️

his face is just red because he keeps wiping it off with his hands so you can redo it and its obvious too

recording it was so funny because you can't stop laughing at the smudge lipsticks

when posted the comments were so cute but... uh questionable some were "the way the smudges are so obvious 😭😭❤️" or "wishing my future relationship will be like this 🤭" and some were just "tip colour when?? 😜"

[purpledemonlilyposting]

[Lily's Post]

Yeah I went over Gus and Wally in the stream VOD Lily falsely struck that will be back up soon. Gus and Wally were the first on-screen kiss between a same sex couple in Western animation.

They're hilarious old married couple types (despite gay marriage being, you know, illegal at the time) and the joke is never that they're gay. They're wonderful supporting characters who are the neighbors of the main cast.

And hey they're voiced by Nick Jameson and Tom Kenny!

Unfortunately as good as Mission Hill is it was expensive, too ahead of its time and just not promoted well so it's pretty niche.

Seems like a pretty glaring omission for a video called "The Forgotten Gays of Western Animation". But of course Lily only watches children's cartoons and only cares about children's cartoons.

Anyway watch this episode about how Gus and Wally met which lead to Wally basically making Plan 9 From Outer Space. It's adorable and is the final episode of the show.

Also Lily is just wrong about it not being an uphill battle to even allow gay content in shows for adults.

[fernmert3ns]

cryle headcanons:

• When Kyle gets pissed off and starts swearing Craig sorta admires it just because he wishes he could say the same bad stuff

• You know how Craig had asked Thomas to do his laundry before, with Kyle they could play laundromat together like how Kyle did with the others before like in the video

• Craig acts like a smartass but is actually a dumbass, Kyle acts like a smartass and actually is one

• Kyle would win in a physical and verbal fight (but I think Craig would think that’s cool about him but would also make him salty)

• Before Craig confessed he would stare at Kyle and get caught at the worst moments (for example when he’s picking his nose… (hc based on a TikTok and SP clip)

• They both are kinda nerds, Kyle has an Einstein poster in his room, Craig is a space and science nerd (Kyle has space stuff too in his closet!!) so they have someone to share their interests with finally

• Kyle is a morning person and Craig is a night owl (he won’t stop watching his shows)

• When studying together Kyle would mostly help Craig except the subjects Craig is really passionate about (physics, science, etc…) it would be the other way around

• Kyle doesn’t know anything about Red Racer at all (he’s out of the loop) but he listens anyways when Craig talks about it (Kyle gets kinda forced into liking it so then they can always watch it together)

• Craig would TRY to listen quietly when Kyle is pissed off and rants about stuff (mostly bc of Cartman…)

• They could make fun of people together (Kyle about Cartman and Craig about his friends but wouldn’t mind making fun of Cartman at all too)

• Cartman would tease Kyle for hanging out with Craig especially because Craig’s gay.. 😁

• Kyle always knows what to say and Craig never does (Kyle mostly initiates the conversations in the beginning even though Craig first approached him)

• Craig tells Kyle space and guinea pig facts at random

• Craig is more easygoing than Kyle, so he doesn’t really bother to be as passionate about what’s right like him but when Kyle gets mad at stuff in his stead, Craig does kinda appreciate him

• Kyle and Craig filming TikToks of Stripe together, Kyle convinced him because people love cute animal video’s and Craig knows that well too (that one ep of Craig filming animals with the wide camera lens) and maybe Craig could lend him that camera to film it so it’d turn out even better :)

• Kyle finding the real list and seeing Craig 1st place, being reminded of that one time he catched Craig staring at him while picking his nose and thinking ‘what do they even see in him?’

• Kyle being mad he lost the Halloween costume contest with his handmade solar system costume with the planets with them all even made accurately (in that one Halloween ep)! or something and even though he lost, Craig being mad impressed he did all that and does somewhat appreciate his costume

• Craig picking up the habit to say “You bastards!” from hanging out with Kyle whenever Kenny dies.

• Craig likes to show off, like by being a smartass, so he would try to impress Kyle

• Kyle sitting at his computer, looking intently, Craig walking by and asking “what are you doing…” “spreading hate on the internet” Craig sits down at a computer next to him doing the same

• Craig getting a nice tan in the summer, Kyle on the other hand getting absolutely sunburnt because he’s a pale ginger kid

[orion-my-rion]

oh please gay middle aged men….

ok i wanted to answer this as soon as i got it but it was past midnight for me and i had to go to sleep lol. anyway i'm awake now so It's Time. (i wrote so much more than i thought i would. i've been typing for like an hour...)

so it all started when i had to write a 10 minute play for a creative writing project last year. we did some brainstorming exercises to make sure everyone in the class had something compelling to write for, and one of those exercises involved selecting common tropes in famous plays at random. so we had to pick three slips of paper from the box and come up with a story that ties in the three tropes we ended up with. the professor was a little concerned when i pulled "nationalism," "fate vs free will," and . a third thing i can't for the life of me remember. it honestly might have been like "nature vs man" lol i don't know. anyway, everyone was surprised when i actually came up with something.

the original story goes like this: three average american dudes living average american lives. they don't follow soccer, but they know that team usa is somehow on their way to the world cup, so they've employed their usual (over-the-top) superstitions to help them along. the night before the championship, one of them orders chinese takeout (they're not allowed to order "enemy cuisine" until that team is out of the running (china hasn't qualified for the world cup since 2002 but just pretend with me)) and ends up with an extremely specific fortune cookie that says as long as the three of them watch the whole match, usa will win. naturally, the paper then spontaneously combusts and he has to convince the other two without it.

so, on a stormy night three dudes who know next to nothing about soccer but combined have all the sports-related superstitions in the world are now watching the world cup, knowing that they have already set the outcome of the game in their favor just by seeing it through but not trusting that enough to abandon their frankly insane rituals. most of the comedy of the play is tied to someone being told to absolutely under no circumstances sit down/stand up/touch the tv remote/talk about losing/talk about winning/etc. in the end, the power briefly goes out in the storm, the game is lost in the few seconds they aren't watching, and the play closes with the commentators dragging usa for an incredible loss while the guys realize what happened.

i was happy with the play and received great remarks on it, but i've been wanting to rewrite it some before putting it anywhere. more importantly tho i spent so long writing these guys for a ten minute play that i came up with all sorts of side info for them. i also changed their names because i didn't like the ones i wrote for the class (i gave them dudebro names but they weren't middle-aged sounding enough lol).

first of all, they're in a polycule. they've known each other since childhood but only got together in adulthood, and they don't live together just yet. they all work fairly steady jobs and spend their time off at one of their places depending on what they plan on doing.

the one hosting the fifa watch party is adam. he's the most superstitious and as a former star athlete he knows the most of the three (minimal) about soccer. he has the nicest place with the biggest tv and keeps it mostly clean. it is mentioned in the play that he likes to watch asmr videos with the sound off because he doesn't like the sound.

the one who opened the fortune cookie is kenny, short for kenneth. he doesn't understand or give a damn about any sport and is extremely skeptical, but was interested to see how his weird as fuck fortune would turn out. he also drinks too much dr pepper. this does come up in the play. his place is actually a mess (he's very forgetful) but the other guys find it endearing. he thinks it's bizarre that the first guy watches asmr for the visuals since it's supposed to be about the sound.

the third guy is curtis. he's pretty superstitious but the only sport he really understands and pays attention to is american football. he spends most of the time acting super "usa! usa!" to the point where the other two are like "hey man you're not usually like this we're here for you if you need to talk." he's very emotional because he has a big heart. his house is a little messy but only because he has two or three dogs that everyone loves very much. he thinks asmr stands for "audio something something something."

i could continue to make up new things about them forever. they're like old friends to me. kenny loves food but can't cook (he Can but it doesn't turn out very well). curtis is the Real chef of the three, and the other two want him to make a living of it but he's not confident enough in his abilities. adam is a little bit scared of dogs but was introduced very gently to curtis' dogs and now they're mostly chill. kenny doesn't yet know that he's a cat person because he's a big fan of dogs and doesn't know that those aren't mutually exclusive (and then one day he rescues a stray kitten and that animal becomes his Child). curtis got the other two into street fighter when they were younger and is still a little upset that they both turned out to be better than him (and that they still are). god. my guys. my guys.

i love boring characters who experience situations it's like fun to me please understand. i've been wanting to write more plays with them and whatnot. whenever i get around to that i'll probably post about it on neocities :)

ok that's enough rambling for one morning lol hope everyone enjoyed it 👍

[afjakvbsjcjskcjskjcmajakcjsjjzk]

craig headcanons 🐹🌈👽🪐

he has hot pink& silver braces and pointy fuckin ears that stick out 🤓

he listens to heavy mental and also country music bc kenny got him into it :^(

wendy was one of the first ppl he came out to, bc she is v open and passionate about gay ppl. they are v close

craig is also v close with the girls and hangs out w them a lot. he gushes over boys w them and paints their nails and does their hair for them

he kises girls on the cheek and holds door for them bc he is a sweetie 🥰

btw all the girls love him bc he is tall and handsome w dark-hair but they can't have him bc he's gay and unavailable 🤭😌

he always gets girls numbers and gives them all to kenny and clyde

craig hangs out w bradley biggle and kevin stoley a lot and they do geeky shit together. they play video games and watch star trek and talk about aliens and shit

craig has a thing for blonde boys

he also thought stan was hot when he bleached his hair and also when he went goth

kenny is craig's favorite blonde boi 🥰 and they give each other gay kises and have rodent play dates 🥰

craig always asks token to buy him designer brand clothes for his birthday but token always gives him shitty presents :/

he is extremely insecure about his nasally congested voice bc everyone keeps comparing him w clyde 😭😭

he calls stripe earth angel and honey and sweetheart and kisses him on the head and calls him his babey 🥺

craig gives himself piercings w a rusty ass safety pin bc he's a dumbass 😔

he gets straight a's and everyone makes fun of him for it

he secretly enjoys it when mr. garrison goes on long gay tangents lmfao

he also looks up to mr. slave and aspires to be as gay as him lmao

craig had a goth/emo phase

he hung out w stan a lot during that time but other than that he thinks stan and kyle and cartman are losers

craig loves receiving affection and sits in ppl's lap and makes them pick him up even tho he's tall and clonky and awkward asf

he snorts when he laughs

he loves giving ppl nose rubs (mostly kenny) and always has to lean in bc he's so tall 🤭🥺

he shit-talks kenny 24/7 but when other people slightly raise their voice at him craig beats them up 😤that is craig's boy leave him alone

when they get older craig and his sister become v v close because they find out they have a lot in common

he loves taking care of kenny and karen more than anything. he gives kenny all his old clothes that don't fit him anymore and buys karen presents all the time and makes sure they eat whenever they're over

he either becomes a supermodel or works w animals

craig hangs out w butters and they also have rodent play dates and craig tells him to stop calling his minions evil they're just babeys 😖😭

he also has a crush on butters and pip and kenny and gregory from yardale and bradley biggle. and the other bradley from cartman sucks

he finds tweke annoying tho and is always picking on him and kevin stoley even tho they're his friends

he also doesn't let tweeke hold stripe bc he dropped stripe bc of his shaking and twitching.

he steals clyde and kenny's playboys and looks through them just to judge them.even tho he isn't even into naked women :/

he likes drawing his friends and is v talented

he gets extremely affectionate when he is drunk

when he gets high he goes on and on about aliens and if they're real or not and it annoys everyone bc.he won't shut up

[shititbe]

Anyway, HSM2 is about internalized homophobia, and no one can tell me otherwise.

High School Musical is one of the most beloved franchises in the world. Teenagers all over the world grew up watching Troy and Gabriella harmonize together. Three movies, and nearly a decade later it’s still beloved by all. The first film easily forgotten in the ashes of the early 2000’s, the third film stuck in a purgatorial limbo of the rather unfortunate late 2000’s. The second film on the other hand sticks out between the ruckus. 

The second High School Musical film takes place at Sharpay and Ryan’s family country club, during the summer between junior and senior year. The Wildcats are working summer jobs on the country club, often forced to the beck and call of Ryan and Sharpay themselves. Sharpay uses all her prestige to help Troy with college instead of starting at the bottom ( or rather, in the kitchen washing dishes) with his friends. In the time she’s helping Troy, she is also pushing her brother away; replacing him with Troy in their musical number for the talent show, and refusing to hang out with him in preference for Troy. Ryan becomes vengeful to his twin and starts hanging around the Wildcats in the kitchen. At first, he was met with some distasteful looks and words (most of which from Chad). With the help of Kelsey, and her neutral party, Ryan fits in smoothly with the other teenagers, eventually giving the WildCats all dance lessons.

 Throughout the movie, the main conflict continues to be the internal conflict of Troy Bolton. He debates over and over again if he should go through with Sharpay’s shenanigans, or if he wants to “listen to my own heart.”  This of course involves Gabriella, as she is Troy’s love interest. She’s not in the second film except for the beginning, then, where she leaves in the middle of the film - in order to create angst for Troy - then when she shows up again in the finally to sing/rejoin Troy. 

The conflict in the second film  is the combining of Troy’s two worlds. His first - his main world in the first movie, that hence became his secondary world - which is represented by Chad. Then his secondary world - which becomes his main world in this movie - which is represented by Ryan. Chad represents Troy’s masculinity, or his more idealized version of himself. Ryan represents Troy’s femininity or his current version of reality. These two worlds collide in the iconic song “I don’t dance”.  

Since this movie - and hence this scene - came out in the early 2000’s, a lot of the innuendoes went over people's heads. Luckily, as the children who watched this movie grew older and more experienced, and the world became more accepting, we’re able to see this song for what it is. 

Before getting into the lore and symbolism of the iconic “I Don’t Dance” sequence, context is needed. For most of human history, homosexuality was seen as a sin in all places except ancient times (see: Greece and Japan). The modern age is the most accepting on all fronts, such as sexual orientation, race, and religion. In the early 2000’s, High School Musical director Kenny Ortega was not publicialy out yet. He wouldn’t be till 2014. 

Originally, while writing this, my first thought was  that Kenny - the director - would be using Troy as a y/n type character to project his insecurities and struggles with masculinity, and what that means in defining his orientation and societal views that would be placed upon him. Then, it came to me later that this is in fact not the case, Troy (and Gabriella - who is in fact a y/n character for the female audience) is more of a character for a man of his time, confused with his own ideals of masculinity and the views of society because, “oh god, I can’t like theater/drama because only queer people and girls like it!” The second point is pushed further with the Troy and Sharpay sub-plot. Sharpay tries to further Troy’s career as a basketball player, though that’s not what he wants anymore, and Troy is no longer sure if that is what he ever wanted to begin with (enter the song “Bet on it” and the hilarious meme “no dad, I’m giving up on your dream”). 

Keeping these things in mind - Kenney’s queerness, and Troy’s struggle to realize you can in fact sing and be a heterosexual, wow, revolutionary - it became clear to me that Kenney’s y/n characters were Ryan and Chad. 

For those who aren’t into the arts, or find them too difficult after a singular attempt thinking they could write a world class novel on the first go, let me be the first to tell you every author has a y/n character. First, for those who don’t know what y/n stands for, it’s a popular fanfiction trope where a writer will write a story about a character dating, being friends, and so on, with the reader. The y/n stands for “your name” so anyone can be the main character in this story at any time. For a writer of mainstream fictional work, such as High School Musical, Game Of Thrones, Lord Of The Rings, Pride and Prejudice, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, even most comics. Now, most writers or directors aren’t going to be as obvious as having a character not named (or named y/n) or even named Jane (looking at you Jane Austin), the y/n character of many mainstream authors/directors/comic artists and so on is usually the character they feel or have given the most attributes similar to themselves. 

It’s the same reason people have favourite characters. You see a fictional character and you either 1. Want to Bob the Builder them, 2. Some sort of weird sex thing, or 3. See more/the most of yourself in this character. Number three - thankfully - is usually the main reason. Some people just create their own favourite characters. An even easier way to think about this, is just projection baby, that’s psych 101.   

Before I went off on a small tangent of fictional works and how human emotion plays into creating them (except anything Disney has made in the past decade, and no you can’t change my mind on that) I mentioned that Chad and Ryan are Kenney’s y/n characters. As a queer person myself, it’s clear for me to see the different struggles each of these characters face and how these reflect the queer experience. 

So, let’s finally get into it. 

Ryan, without it being explicitly said is clearly a character of what people in the early 2000s think a gay man is. He is effeminate, wearing bright coloured outfits with lots of accessories - namely his signature hats - he is also in the theater department doing musicals, and passive/subservient to any of his twin sisters' wills. Yes, now we know gay men aren’t just feminized men, but in the early 2000’s a gay man who can do "masculine" things like change their car oil, like sports, and so on, break the "effeminate" stereotype thus confused many cishet people. Sharpay is painted as more confident - or, for sake of comparability - masculine to her twin in the first movie, and most of the second movie. Making Ryan a bit of her dog who would do anything to get by - painting Ryan as lesser than human, once more, playing into the homophobia of the early 2000's.     

Despite the clear stereotypes playing into his character, Ryan is consistently one of the most confident characters in the movie. The other, being his sister of course. This confidence in himself is what gravitates the other characters towards him, either by being intimidated (Troy, thinking Ryan and Gabriella were a thing), or admiration (Chad, by the end of “I don’t dance”). 

Chad, on the other hand, is a whole different ball game. While he is confident in the first movie, and the first portion of the second movie, he begins to break more and more when Ryan becomes a more integral part of the Wildcat group. To keep in mind, Chad is also the most vocal about his distaste for Troy’s artistic past-time. When the other Wildcats join Ryan and begin learning how to dance for the talent show at the end of the movie, Chad is also the most vocal about his distaste. The baseball game where “I don’t dance” takes place, is the climax of Chad’s arc and his turn towards acceptance to Ryan/Troy’s hobbies. 

Of course, there is more to the “I don’t dance” sequence than just Chad’s realization - the exact one Troy comes to terms with in the second movie as well - of “oh my god I don’t have to be gay to enjoy stereotypical ‘feminine’ things.” That is the main part of the song though, that and all the sexual tension. 

Going back to what I’ve stated previously, Chad and Ryan are Kenney’s projection or y/n characters. Let me do a small recap before we get into the nitty gritty of the famous “I don’t dance” video. 

Thinking back to the first few paragraphs, I stated that Kenney wasn’t publicly out till 2014, about 7 years after the second movie came out. This could be due to the fact that a) it’s the early 2000’s and everyones still very homophobic, or b) self-doubt that comes with the queer experience. The most likely reason is a mixture of both of these. Because of this, Ryan is the more self-assured version, or idealized version of Kenney that he wants to be. Ryan is confident, never being swayed about his lifestyle (could be read as: sexuality) even though Chad - and most of the wildcats in the first movie - put him through relentless “teasing” and humiliation. He’s confident, almost to a fault, he’s sure of himself, and yet still reaches out a hand to Chad and the other wildcats to show them that they’re just being, kinda dick-ish. 

Every queer person wants to be Ryan. Despite his heavily stereotyped characterization, I personally believe he is one of the stronger written characters in the movies, mainly due to Kenney putting the time in to really make Ryan feel like a real person, to give himself some sort of relief of his own anxieties, a chance to see the world through a person who truly has no fear. Unlike Kenney himself. 

This is where Chad comes in. 

Chad is seen as “confident” in the first movie, the second Troy “leaves” basketball though, all that confidence comes crashing down. His best friend has another hobby - one he thinks is “not right” (it’s okay, you can say gay), - they wont be spending all their time together (first, can you say dependent relationship much, yikes).Chad’s defining characteristic up until their fight that instigate act three of the second movie, is being Troy’s best friend. I’m going to take this as if this were truly the case, and not a decently written character arch. Some people base themselves around their friends and their whole identity on being a friend, that they lose sight of themselves, this mainly in high school of course, when your whole world is really nothing but school, and friends. Newly developed independence is there, but that’s scary, so instead of worrying about the future, cling to something that’s reliable. I’ve seen this happen, mainly at the end of high school, when the “real world” is coming a bit too close for comfort. This could generally be the case if a person is lonely, but for timeline sake I’m going to say Chad has got some anxiety about graduating (considering the second movie takes place the summer of junior year). 

His lashing out at Troy’s hobbies and at Troy’s neglectful friendship, make more sense with that background, and are seen more in the second movie where Troy begins spending all his spare time with Sharpay (trying to collect that BAG!). Chad - and others (read: father) - insists that music is not a feasible career option, and Troy should just stick with basketball (like...that is a feasible career option). The tension Chad creates in the studio only grows when the other wildcats decide to take up Ryan’s offer for dance lessons and move from the kitchen, to helping out with the talent show. (Next essay idea: how high school musical two was really about class all along, cause Jesus). 

 Chad is the less obvious option for a y/n character. Though again, the 2000’s were not as cool people like to pretend they are. Chad - for Kenney - represents what he actually feels, this fear of being rejected for how he is and how he chooses to live his life/lifestyle, so he sticks to something reliable. Ryan is new, and exciting, and confident in a way that Kenney/Chad wish they could be, but in order for that to happen they need to understand that maybe people are complex creatures, and can enjoy multiple hobbies (aka: the same lesson Troy is teaching the viewers, but far less boring). But, for Kenney/Chad facing that thought and that realization is scary, and thus, they lash out at anyone (read this paragraph as: Chad mad jealous of Ryan cause Ryan bomb as fuck). 

All this build up, finally comes ahead in the employee baseball match 

                                                       ******

The baseball game is probably the most memorable scene in the whole High School Musical franchise (minus Sharpay’s “Fabulous” solo, but that’s also from the same movie, and it’s kinda rude to give what’s already the best more points); the tension in the scene, and what it implies makes it the best written segment of all three movies, let alone the most entertaining. 

Some things to keep in mind from our background information: Chad is missing his bestie and struggling with what being “masculine” really means for him and others. Ryan of course makes this confusing, because the traditional method is being thrown out the window. In short, Chad has internalized homophobia, and Ryan being open - or as open as Disney would let him - is causing all sorts of problems. 

Despite the song, “I don’t dance” being logged into our collective skulls for all eternity (you’re probably humming it right now, sorry about that), the very brief interaction of Ryan and Chad before the game is lost on the public consciousness. The two are clearly comfortable with each other, though the distaste seems to be on Chad’s side more than Ryans. So, the two start playfully jabbing at each other before deciding to do a bat toss to see who will be in the outfield first. 

Before they begin the bat toss, Ryan says “You don’t think dancing takes some game?” Chad then very clearly checks him out, doing a simple but effective ‘drag-your-eyes-over-them-top-to-bottom-then-smile’ and says “you got game?” (Seen in gif below) 

I don’t know how much you know about sex metaphors and how many of those baseball has in it (seriously though, it’s a lot), but with the bat toss, Ryan’s hand ended up on top, and Chad’s under Ryan’s. Let’s ignore this for now, it’ll be implied again later. Ryan’s team starts out in the outfield because he won the bat toss, and hence, the song officially starts. 

The first lyrics (ignoring the chores of “hey batter batter, hey batter batter, swing”) is 

I'll show you that it's one and the same

Baseball, dancing, same game

It's easy

Step up to the place, start swingin  

This part is sung by Ryan, who is taunting Chad out in the outfield. Before the game, as stated, Chad was taunting Ryan about his lack of “game” (both sexual and not sexual metaphor are implied), and now, Ryan has turned those tables around. Baseball - is seen as more masculine than dancing, not as masculine as football or basketball, but it’s up there. Chad is someone who cares about his masculinity, enough to the point that Ryan playing baseball makes him loose his mind. Makes him question his own personal definition of masculinity, if you will. 

Ryan says, “baseball, dancing, same game,” impyling that, to him, baseball and dancing are one and the same. That is baffling to Chad, cause well, how can something meant for girls even be close to something meant for boys. 

Chad comes back with: 

 I wanna play ball now, and that's all

This is what I do

It ain't no dance that you can show me, yeah

This only proves my previous point. 

I had a conversation with myself about this, and I’ve decided not to include it in this essay, but a second essay may or may not be possible. Basically the premise - the dancing/”musical” moments of High School Musical are conjured up images by those meant to see them (ie: like a visual hallucination, but, not really) but this scene kinda poo-poos that idea. 

Now, the thing I am talking about is Ryan and Chad’s  peacocking at each other during the time they sing these lyrics. The movements they’re making could be mistaken for dancing - as we automatically assume it is because of the title and themes of the movie - or it could be them just getting ready for the baseball game. Ryan swings his leg over the pitcher's mound, tossing the ball up and down into his glove, making wavy hand gestures, etc. Chad brushes off his gloves, swings his legs, hits the bat on each foot, and so on. 

For the peacocking, Chad makes a mock of the ballerina foot stance before strutting over to the home plate. Ryan laughs at this, which earns quite the smirk from Chad himself (see gif below). 

This is when it becomes a conversation.   

You'll never know - R

Oh I know - Ch

If you never try - R

There's just one little thing - Ch

That stops me every time, yeah - Ch

Come on - Ch

When Chad says “Come on” it’s when Ryan throws the baseball at him, starting the game, and giving Chad’s team their first strike of the game (get it, it’s funny). Now, obviously we need to talk about the “there’s just one little thing that stops me every time.” As a queer person, I assure you, two of the things that kept me from living my Best Life were 1) my own ignorance of what asexuality was and 2) the fear that everyone I love would hate me for who I am, and what I have no control over. 

Sorry to get deep like that on main, but, can any other queer person say different? Obviously, your first point may differ, but my point still stands. In the video/scene there is a very short moment (to which I have condensed into a gif for you all, you’re welcome, and I’m sorry about the quality in advance), of the camera moving over to Chad’s team (or his friends in this case since it’s an employee baseball game) as he says this line (gif below). 

I will not be explaining the use of subtly in this essay, but I’m sure you get the metaphor Kenney is trying to use. If not, let me spell it out for you in very simple words. This song has a lot of sexual innuendos (as mentioned pervious with the baseball bat scene and still, more to come), with that in mind, and clearly queer themes at play (as mentioned before, again), this scene only shows Chad isn’t as straight as he leads on. His fear/phobia of Ryan/the arts come from a much deeper place. 

In shorter, and much simpler terms: Chad queer. 

But, let’s get back to the boy's conversation. 

I don't dance - Ch

I know you can - R 

Not a chance, no - Ch 

If I could do this, well, you could do that - R 

Translation: “If I can do this weird, sweaty, dirty, Male thing without blowing a fuse, you can and should be able to dance just fine.” 

But I don't dance - Ch 

Hit it out of the park - Both 

I don't dance - Ch

I say you can - R

There's not a chance, oh - Ch

Slide home, you score, swingin on the dance floor - Both

I don't dance, no - Ch  (This is just the chores, you’ll see it multiple times throughout the essay, I just figured if the song is going to be in your head, go all the way right). 

Two-steppin, now you're up to bat - R

Bases loaded, do your dance - R 

Here we are with the baseball metaphors you’ve all been waiting for ladies and gentlemen. Girls, gays, and non-binary pals. For those who have somehow managed a sheltered existence with access to the internet, lemme help you. Ryan is talking about “loaded bases” both in the context of the game (where it shows each base has one person from Chad’s team on them) and in the term of sex. While you go out there dating - while it’s mostly douche bags and people using it ironically - your nosey friends may ask you how far you got. 

“First, second, or third base?” They may ask. Or something like, “oh wow, did you get to home plate/base?” These are simply the rankings of the stages of a sexual relationship. First - kissing, sometimes just handholding, Second - making out, some light groping, Third - full on groping, no clothes come off, but it gets close. While each person has different boundaries, these are the general accepted definitions for the bases. 

Home base is obviously full blown sexual intercourse. Since Chad has his “bases loaded” it means he’s done all these things before, just never gone completely to sexual intercourse with someone - in the terms of the song and the history we’ve already established, it’s most likely a male character. This is only proven by Chad’s uncomfortable nature towards Ryan (internalized Homophobia, thank you, returning theme) but his easy, and cocky personality towards everyone else. “bUt thAt DoEsnT pRovE” hush, that’s the final cherry on top. Remember this conversation. 

It's easy - R  

Again. Previous points have been made.  

Take your best shot, just hit it - Ch 

I've got what it takes, playin my game - Ch

So you better spin that pitch - Ch 

You're gonna throw me, yeah - Ch 

I'll show you how I swing - Ch

Ah, the famous “I’ll show you how i swing” a very strong baseball metaphor for everyone. Keeps queer people from defining themselves to dangerous (straight) people, and, well, that’s it actually. This term is mostly used by bi/pan people, though if you want to stay in the closet or are in a dangerous place, it is also used to subtly tell other queer people you are in fact, not straight. My favourite is when this term came into play when President Buchanan got elected in 1856 (for those that don’t know, he’s the first and only gay president). 

You'll never know - R

Oh I know - Ch

If you never try - R 

There's just one little thing - Ch

That stops me every time, yeah - Ch 

This is again, the same lyric as before it doesn’t pan, and the tone is much different. The camera stays on Chad as he says this line, meaning he’s reflecting, he is now his own problem, the person that is keeping him back. His friends are not on his mind anymore, which is good, Ryan’s Gay Propaganda has been working. 

Come on - Ch

I don't dance - Ch

I know you can - R

Not a chance, no, no - Ch

If I could do this, well, you could do that - R

But I don't dance - Ch

Hit it out of the park - R

I don't dance - Ch

I say you can - R

There's not a chance, oh no - Ch

Slide home, you score, swingin on the dance floor - Both 

I don't dance, no - Ch

Lean back, tuck it in, take a chance - R

Swing it out, spin around, do the dance - R

I wanna play ball, not dance hall - Ch

I'm makin a triple, not a curtain cal - Chl

I can prove it to you til you know it's true - R

'Cause I can swing it, I can bring it to the diamond too - R

You're talkin a lot, show me what you got - Ch

Again, like the beginning of this song, this is a heavy base for flirting and sexual tension, which this song is drowning in. 

Stop swinging - both

Hey - both

This is the part where they all start a flash mob in the middle of the baseball diamond. Again, alluding to the conversation I had to myself earlier, this only proves my own theory as no one takes notice of this. But, that’s not this essay, this is where I mention how close Chad and Ryan are at the end of the group dance.  

Come on, swing it like this - both

Oh, swing - both

Jitterbug, just like that - both

That's what I mean, that's how you swing - both

You make a good pitch but I don't believe - both 

Here is yet another (and the final) sexual innuendo. This is actually a rather quick one. Pitching in queer culture is considered the person who tops (because queer people even had to straight-ify their sex lives to “top” and “bottom”), this is the person who is giving, if you know what I’m saying. 

I say you can - R

I know I can't - Ch

I don't dance - Ch

You can do it - R

I don't dance, no - Ch 

 Here is where that mosh pit ends, and how they get a little too close to comfort. 

Nothing to it, atta boy, atta boy, yeah - both

The rest of this song is simply a mash-up of the baseball game being finished, and this lovely gem. 

Now, clearly, Chad’s self conscious nature towards his sexuality is gone, he’s sitting close - if not squishing - Ryan, and talking to him like they’ve been friends forever. Take note of the change of close, most likely due to all the tension at the end of the song, and maybe a little of Chad’s own natural human curiosity built in. Now, I leave you with this note: 

If there is anything that confirms all this more, its Chad’s girlfriend wearing the pride colours. 

Also note: this could also be seen as a friend helping his bro discover his sexuality and fighting internalized homophobia, but, that’s ignoring the sexual tension, so go off I guess. 

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.  

Watch the full thing here

[echoweaver]

Thank you for the tag @ljfoxie! It gives me something to post while I can’t play. I do have enough screenshots for a few posts, but I just haven’t been feeling it.

Last Song: “Playing with the Boys,” Kenny Loggins -- from reading the very entertaining lore of Top Gun’s volleyball scene as a coming-of-age moment for gay teen boys in the 80s.

Last Show: Top Gun: Maverick, first trip to the movie theater in... a good while, and first non-scifi/fantasy movie in much longer. I loved the original growing up but was shocked to like this weird generation-later sequel so much.

Currently Watching: Stranger Things 4. WOW it is gruesome compared to the others. Not sure how I feel about that. I’m only 3 eps in, watching with a friend. I’m an oldie who doesn’t like to binge because I like thinking about each episode for a while.

Currently Reading: The Hands of the Emperor, which might be the same book I was reading when I did a previous meme that asked this. It’s LONG. Also, I don’t read very fast because I divide limited personal time between reading, video games, TV, and writing this blog. 😅 I like it a lot, though. It’s a slow-paced story of an aging bureaucrat in a high fantasy setting trying to change the world before he retires. I think I need the hope and the reminder of life after 40.

Current Obsession: Lord of the Rings Online and fretting about getting my computer back.

Augh. I’m going to skip tagging because of stupid anxiety.

[englishknightsky]

5 year old Craig in a home movie meeting newborn Tricia: Why can't I be an only child again?

10 year old Craig watching the video : Good point, why can't I be an only child again?

Stan: I was at the park and a dog came up to me and put his head on my knee. I was really excited until his owner told me he was a support dog who could sense depression.

Clyde: If I was sick could I do THIS?

Token:... Are you gonna do something?

Clyde: Am I not doing cartwheels?

Token: No, no you are not.

Craig: I started dating a cheerleader.

Clyde:... What.

Craig: They're all practising in the gym right now. Wanna see them?

The gang follow him to the gym.

Tweek in a cheerleader uniform: Hi babe!

Craig: Told you I was dating a cheerleader.

Clyde: I almost had a heart attack.

Token: I hate you, Craig.

Wendy: Gregory, I'm in love with you!

Gregory: Oh Wendy, I'm so sorry to tell you that I'm a flaming homosexual.

Christophe: Gregory, you beetch! Get your big ass over 'ere so I can slap it!

Gregory: Coming!

Wendy:...

Stan: Wow, you didn't know they were gay, Wendy?

Nurse: Now I'm gonna take some blood for a sample.

Tweek: Okay.

Nurse:...

Tweek:...

Nurse:...

Tweek: Yeah it's always coffee at first but there's some blood in there somewhere.

Liane: Don't worry so much, Sharon. All kids get nicknames at school. Eric's is 'One inch wonder', whatever that means.

Token: Next bachelor is Kenny McCormick! Kenny has no job, no education, and a credit score of negative sixteen!

Kenny: This is cool, I hardly ever take the bus to school.

Stan: You hardly ever GO to school, dillhole!

Kenny: Oh yeah, I think you might be right.

Kenny: I took a job at the doctor's office because they give me a discount and I am packed with diseases.

Cartman's mic suddenly cuts out as he's screaming.

Craig: I can't tell if he rage quit or ate his mic.

Stan: I'm a triple threat: I eat like shit, I feel like shit, and I look like shit.

Tweek: Dad, why do you tell me so many pointless stories?

Richard: I like stories.

Garrison walking around the room lightly patting every student's head: You're overly emotional, you're gonna grow up real ugly, you have severe daddy issues...

Craig: Hey babe, can I use the latte art printer?

Tweek: Okay, but only if you don't print that meme aga-

Craig: Haha, nice cock!

Craig: Dad! Stripe just had babies!

Thomas: Dammit, Craig, I thought you being gay meant I didn't have to worry about any accidental pregnancies!

Kyle: Ike's insults are lame, he's called me a butthead four times already.

Sheila: Kyle, he's four. What do you expect?

Kyle: I just wish he was a little more dynamic!

[legolasghosty]

Okay hello! Here's a JATP headcanon for you

So we all know Reggie is a massive Star Wars fan, and I'm sure he'd get back into it in the present, watching the sequels and stuff with Julie. Now, I'm thinking that she would most definitely introduce him to fandom too, fun fan-edits, gifs, text posts, and, most importantly, fanfiction. And Reggie would absolutely love it.

I see Alex as the reader out of the band, but as soon as Julie made Reggie an AO3 account and showed him how to access The Interweb on her tablet the boy is never to be seen again. What is Reggie doing while Luke and Julie are writing songs and Alex and Willie are screaming in museums? Correct, King is huddled in a blanket on the loft reading fluffy Finn/Poe Dameron fanfiction.

He tries to get his boys into it too. Luke isn't really interested ("it's about the m-yusic, Reggie") but Alex gives it a try and is hooked. I don't know what fandom he would read tho, maybe you have an idea

love you!!

- @michelangelindraws

Hello, darling, thank you!

Okay, first off, you are 100% correct and you should say so. Reggie would be so nervous about watching the new ones, since the first thing he heard about them was that they killed Han Solo and that Jar Jar exists, but once Julie gets him started on them, he loves it. And once he gets into fandom....

He goes down several rabbit holes before settling on Finn/Poe as his Star Wars otp, and is a bit disturbed by how many people actually think Ray and Ben/Kylo Ren were good for each other, but once he gets to the gay side, then he's good. He spends so much time curled up reading, either on the phone Julie got for the three of them to message her, or on someone's laptop. He keeps accidentally leaving ao3 open on Carlos's laptop and Carlos is very confused the first couple times, but then realizes it's Reggie and it all makes sense. (sidebar, Reggie starts leaving open some of his favorite cute, fluffy(and clean, Carlos is a child) fics open for Carlos to read and then they have whole big debates/conversations about them, because let Reggie be a Molina please).

You're very right, Luke wouldn't really get the appeal of fanfic(though he does rather enjoy the music video type edits of stuff he sees sometimes...), but Alex would totally get into it! As far as fandom goes... many options, including most of Kenny Ortega's other works(HSM, Descendents, etc.), but hear me out, what is the only possible result of Alex watching Heartstopper? He would get obsessed. So I feel like he'd get very deep into the fandom very quickly once Reggie introduces him to ao3 and stuff.

Reggie and Alex start just using fandom/ao3 terms in normal conversation, which Julie is able to follow fairly easily unless it's something very specific to one fandom she isn't in, but Luke is so confused. Like, Reggie makes some comment about how a song they wrote would work so well as a hurt/comfort fic, and Alex and Julie just think for a second and then agree and Luke is just like, "...a what?"

Anyways, let Reggie(and eventually Alex) read fanfic, thank you.

Thank you so so much, I love this one!!! Sending all the virtual hugs!!!

Send me a headcanon and I'll respond with my thoughts and some virtual hugs!

[piratewithvigor]

My first thought in regard to every band that gets played on my radio station

ACDC: Every dad’s favourite band

Adams, Bryan: Every mom’s favourite singer until Michael Buble came along

Aerosmith: haha they thought Vince Neil was a lady

Alice Cooper: he’s a Game Of Thrones fanboy and I have proof

Alice In Chains: my sister doesn’t like them because she decided AC were Alice Cooper’s initials ONLY

Allman Brothers Band: good music for dropping acid to

Allman, Gregg: That’s too many Gs for one name

Animals: House Of The Rising Sun, or who even cares

Argent: Sometimes Hold Your Head Up is really catchy

Asia: Tuesdays

Autograph: one of the members went on to be a pharmacist

Bachman-Turner Overdrive: There are just so many pop culture jokes about Taking Care Of Business that whatever I say won’t be as funny

Bad Company: with their song; Bad Company, off their album; Bad Company

Benatar, Pat: Always getting her confused with Patti Smith

Black Crowes: I like them for Lickin, but it doesn’t seem to exist outside of one shoddy video on youtube and my old CD

Blackfoot: this band name feels kind of racy

Black Sabbath: Dio was not better or worse than Ozzy; just different

Blondie: I like Call Me, but Blondie confuses me stylistically

Blue Oyster Cult: MORE COWBELL

Bon Jovi: Hello, childhood trauma, I missed you

Boston: ONE GUY. ONE GUY DID IT ALL AND NO ONE KNOWS

Bowie, David: Don’t let your children watch The Man Who Fell To Earth, or David Bowie’s will end up being the third penis they see in life

Browne, Jackson: Another musician ruined by Supernatural

Buffalo Springfield: Jack Nicholson was at the riot they sing about

Burdon, Eric: no ideas, brain empty

Bush: ditto

Candlebox: ditto once more. Who are these people?

Cars: This band feels so gay and so straight at the same time, I can only assume they’re the poster children of bisexual panic

Cheap Trick: I played Dream Police on Guitar Hero so fucking much because it was the only song anyone who played with me could keep up with

Chicago: Chicago 30 exists, but they do not have 30 albums. Fucking riddle me that

Clapton, Eric: 6 discs in one Greatest Hits is too many. That’s called “re releasing your discography”

Cochrane, Tom: For some reason, everyone thinks Rascal Flats did it better

Cocker, Joe: Belushi did it right

Collective Soul: who?

Collins, Phil: If his biggest hits were done by MCR, they would be emo anthems, but because he’s 5��6″ and from the 80s, they’re not

Cream: *Vietnam flashbacks on the hippie side*

CCR: *Vietnam flashbacks on the war side*

CSNY: David Crosby; meh

Deep Purple: THEY’RE SO MUCH MORE THAN SMOKE ON THE WATER

Def Leppard: the only music for when you’re a heartbroken bitch but also a sexy one

Derek And The Dominos: Clapton and ‘Layla’ broke up

Derringer, Rick: Tom Petty if he was from the midwest

Dio: You thought it was an anime reference, but it was me, Dio

Dire Straits: You can tell how bigoted a radio station is based on how much of Money For Nothing they censor

Doobie Brothers: I have yet to smoke weed, but I listen to the Doobies, and I think that’s pretty close

Dylan, Bob: I take back everything I said about him in my youth

Eagles: Hotel California isn’t their best song, but the memes that come from it are second to none

Edgar Winter Group: @the--blackdahlia

Electric Light Orchestra: Actually an orchestra and sound a fuckton like George Harrison

ELO: I really hesitate to ask what happens with the 7 virgins and a mule

Essex, David: no prominent memories of him

Fabulous Thunderbirds: cannot spell

Faces: Who on earth thought that was a good album name?

Faith No More: I got nothing

Fixx: One Thing Leads To Another is a damn bop

Fleetwood Mac: I ain’t straight, but I’m simply not enough of a witch to enjoy them to full potential

Fogerty, John: He got sued cause he sounded like himself

Foghat: Slow Ride slowly becoming less coherent feels like a drug trip

Foo Fighters: He was just excited to buy a grill

Ford, Lita: deserved better

Foreigner: dramatically overplayed

Frampton, Peter: a masterful user of the talk box

Free: dramatically underplayed

Gabriel, Peter: leaving Genesis changed him a lot

Genesis: if someone likes Genesis, clarify the era, because yes, it does matter

Georgia Satellites: sing like you have a cactus in your ass

Golden Earring: Twilight Zone slaps, but it doesn’t slap as hard as this station thinks it does

Grand Funk Railroad: Funk

Grateful Dead: I like their aesthetic more than their music

Great White: there are so many fucking shark jokes

Greenbaum, Norman: makes me think of Subway for some reason

Green Day: the first of the emo revolution

Greg Kihn Band: RocKihnRoll is literally the most clever album name I’ve ever seen

Guns N Roses: They have more than three good songs, but radio stations never recognize that

Hagar, Sammy: I’m still trying to figure out where he lived to take 16 hours to get to LA driving 55 and how fucking fast was he driving beforehand?

Harrison, George: He went from religious to rock, and if he had continued rocking, he would have gotten too cool 

Head East: I respect people who use breakfast foods as album names

Heart: Magic Man and Barracuda are played at least once every goddamn day. They’re not even the best songs!

Hendrix, Jimi: I have both a cousin and a sibling named after Hendrix references

Henley, Don: Dirty Laundry gives me too much inspiration

Hollies: Somehow sound like they’re both from the 60s and the 80s at the same time

Idol, Billy: he’s doing well for himself

INXS: Terminator vibes

Iris, Donnie: knockoff Roy Orbison

James Gang: too many funks

Jane’s Addiction: if TMNT had a grunge band representative

Jefferson Airplane: *assorted cheers*

Jefferson Starship: *assorted boos*

Jethro Tull: The only band to make you feel not cool enough to play the flute

Jett, Joan: icon

J. Geils Band: I requested them on the radio once and it got played

Joel, Billy: he really did just air everybody’s business like that

John Cafferty And The Beaver Brown Band: literally wtf is that name

John, Elton: yarn Elton sits in my basement, unstaring. Please someone take him from me

Joplin, Janis: Queen

Journey: Stop overplaying Don’t Stop Believing. It takes away from the rest of the repetoire

Judas Priest: literally started the gay leather aesthetic

Kansas: another fucking band Supernatural stole

Kenny Wayne Shepherd: the man confuses me to the point where he isn’t in the right place alphabetically

Kiss: Mick Mars and I will simply have to disagree on the subject

Kravitz, Lenny: runaway vibes

Led Zeppelin: Fucking fight me if you don’t think they’re the most talented band (maybe not the most talented individually, but collectively, no one comes close)

Lennon, John: My least favourite Beatle for reasons

Live: I got nothin

Living Colour: slap a decent amount

Loverboy: do you not get TURNT the fuck up to the big Loverboy hits? Who hurt you??

Lynyrd Skynyrd: Sweet Home Alabama is a Neil Young diss track

Marshall Tucker Band: no opinion

Manfred Mann’s Earth Band: VERY STRONG OPINIONS THAT THEY AREN’T GOOD

McCartney, Paul/Wings: Power couple

Meatloaf: I have nothing but respect for a man who willingly named himself Meatloaf

Mellencamp, John: voted cutest lesbian of 1987

Metallica: I liked their appearance on Jimmy Fallon

Midnight Oil: I get them confused for Talking Heads a lot

Modern English: who?

Molly Hatchet: Hollies vibes, but also Georgia Satellites vibes

Money, Eddie: DAN AVIDAN, IF YOU SEE THIS, COVER TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT

Motley Crue: Stan Mick Mars and John Corabi. They’re the only ones who deserve it

Mott The Hoople: no one loves them except for David Bowie

Mountain: props for naming an album ‘Climbing’

Nazareth: I want to make a John Mulaney joke here, but I can never come up with one

Nicks, Stevie: witch queen

Night Ranger: I get them confused with Urge Overkill

Nirvana: Kurt Cobain was the ally grunge needed

Nova, Aldo: he’s Canadian, at least

Nugent, Ted: *serves a ghost as jerky*

Offspring: nothing here

Osbourne, Ozzy: this bitch crazy

Outfield: Your Love is kind of a sketchy song, but it slaps hard

Palmer, Robert: low quality Eddie Money

Pearl Jam: *grunts in Eddie Vedder*

Petty, Tom: I have so many feelings about Tom Petty and they are all good

Pink Floyd: which one is Pink?

Plant, Robert: solo career is a crapshoot, but his voice is unparalleled

Poison: I want them to write a song called ‘Alice Cooper’

Pretenders: I want to say good things, but I have nothing to say

Queen: A doctor of astrophysics, a screaming girl, a disco queen and a diva walk into a bar. It’s Queen; they’re there to play a gig

Queensryche: neutral opinion

Quiet Riot: they got big because of a song they hated. I love that

Rafferty, Gerry: the second-sexiest sax opening in all of music

Rainbow: Ritchie Blackmore created something very magnificent

Ram Jam: one good song and they didn’t even write it

Ratt: I’m sure they have more than Round And Round, but I don’t know it

RHCP: funky, but if you have paid money to hear them, you’re going to The Bad Place (I don’t make the rules)

Red Rider: basically Golden Earring

Reed, Lou: Walk On The Wild Side would be such a cool song if it wasn’t so dull

REM: American Tragically Hip

REO Speedwagon: Props for having a dad joke as an album title

Rolling Stones: Never in my life could I imagine the drummer being named anything but Charlie

Rush: How to make being uncool the coolest fucking shit

Santana: The world needs more Santana

Scandal: There’s something really funny about The Warrior being my brother’s “song” with his girlfriend

Scorpions: Was Wind Of Change written by the CIA? Only the spotify podcast I got an ad for once could say

Seger, Bob: A different variety of Eric Clapton (frankly a better variety, but that’s just me)

Simple Minds: we ALL forgot about you

Skid Row: Sebastian Bach is prettier than all of us

Soundgarden: music that makes you feel like you dunked your head underwater

Springsteen, Bruce: my arch-nemesis. Maybe someday, he’ll find out about it

Squeeze: according to my friends, the stupidest band name ever, but they’re theatre kids, so you know

Squier, Billy: If he can make it through 1984 alive, you can make it through whatever bad day you’re having

Stealers Wheel: Yet another band who I always mistake for George Harrison

Steely Dan: my house’s nickname for the Robber in Settlers Of Catan

Steppenwolf: Either makes me think of Jay & Silent Bob, Jack Nicholson, or that time I had to cut 6lbs of onions

Steve Miller Band: when you’re in the right mood, they slap hard

Stewart, Rod: my soundtrack to summer 2015

Stills, Stephen: Love The One You’re With Is Catchy, but the lyrics are questionable

Stone Temple Pilots: the only band to write a song about goo you smear on yourself

Stray Cats: an obscene amount of merch is available for them

Styx: Supernatural would have ruined them for me too if I hadn’t been into them previously. 

Supertramp: I hunted for Breakfast In America for two years and it was worth every hunt

Sweet: I will never understand my two-month obsession with Ballroom Blitz when I was 15, but it was legit all I listened to

Talking Heads: you may find yourself in a pizza hut. And you may find yourself in a taco bell. And you may find yourself at the combination pizza hut and taco bell. And you may ask yourself; ‘how did I get here?’

Temple Of The Dog: I keep confusing them for Nazareth

Ten Years After: somehow still relevant

Tesla: not the car or the dude

The Beatles: Evokes a lot of opinions from people. Mine is that I love them

The Clash: I showed my sister the ‘Lock The Taskbar’ vine ONCE and it still kills her

The Doors: evokes teenage terror from deep within my soul

The Guess Who: Canada’s answer to confusing question-themed band names

The Kinks: kinky

The Police: wrote the theme of 2020 and everyone somehow forgot it was about a teacher resisting becoming a pedophile

The Ramones: playing all of their songs in a row wouldn’t take more than 2 hours

The Romantics: you don’t think you know them, but if you’ve seen Shrek 2, you have

The Who: If someone can explain Tommy to me, I’d be glad to hear it

The Zombies: I think they happened because of the 60s

Thin Lizzy: Could the boys maybe leave town?

Thorogood, George: blues, but make it modern

Toto: the most memed song behind All Star

Townshend, Pete: just makes me think of the end of Mr. Deeds

T-Rex: Mark Bolan is an icon

Triumph: The no-name brand of Rush

Tubes: like the yogurt

Twisted Sister: they did a christmas album and my mom does NOT hate it

U2: U2 Movers; we move in mysterious ways

Van Halen: RIP Eddie

Van Morrison: honestly, who’s named Van?

Vaughn, Stevie Ray: Steamy Ray Vaughn

Walsh, Joe: The Smoker You Drink The Player You Get

War: Foghat, but even groovier

Whitesnake: the most successful band to be named after a penis

Wright, Gary: the 90s thanks him for writing the song every movie used for the “guy sees cute girl and it’s love at first sight” scene

Yes: To Be Continued

Young, Neil: The best part of CSNY

Zevon, Warren: the album cover of Excitable Boy makes me deeply uncomfortable for reasons I don’t understand

ZZ Top: has been the same three guys since 1969. Lineup unchanged. 

3 Doors Down: They feel a little modern to be on a classic rock station, but whatever

38 Special: Why 38?

[derivativealigner]

Well I haven’t watched sp all the way through for about a decade now, so I thought it was time

Sometimes I wonder how accurate the fandom is when it comes to how we interpret the characters. Like, why is Stan a football star so often in fanfic and why’s Kyle always the smart one? So I thought I’d rewatch the show and make notes along the way to see where the source of all these interpretations is. I also wanted to see if I could get some fun info to analyze, but season 1 is pretty sparse in that regard so there’s not too much of that in this post, but I’ll make a post for all the other seasons too as I watch them

In summary, it’s established in season 1 already that Stan’s a star quarterback and an animal lover, Kyle’s an A+ student, and Kenny is poor and knows a lot about sex and doesn’t have many qualms about doing crazy shit. Cartman is a bit weird since he’s mostly just a naive brat in this season, but he and Kyle have a mildly antagonistic friendship already

I have all my notes under this cut. They include a bunch of small details and other observations. I also listed every Kenny death just because

Ike has freckles

Cartman says “Weak!” and “You guys” and “Seriously” a lot from the start, also “Kickass!” He doesn’t say weak or kickass much in the later seasons iirc

Stan says “Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here” three times in this season but they dropped that catchphrase pretty quickly

Bebe got named in episode 2

Stan’s been an animal lover since s01e03 Volcano since he won’t shoot a bunny or anything else. He does shoot Scuzzlebutt at the end though

Cartman’s a pathological liar but in a childish way

Randy got named in s01e03 Volcano (and it only got worse from there)

The mayor went to Princeton

South Park is next to Mt. Evanson

Kenny will literally drink gasoline

Stan’s a star quarterback in 3rd grade

Clyde’s voice is wrong as hell in S01E04 Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride and he has a dog, Rex

Garrison says Kyle is an A+ kid

Shelly seriously abuses Stan, punching him, throwing him, maiming him with a lawnmower

Cartman had a pot-bellied pig called Fluffy

Cartman’s mom smokes crack and has sex with strange men

Dr. Mephesto is probably a Buddhist since he says “Thank Buddha” instead of “Thank God”

Clyde’s voice gets kind of fixed in S01E06

A guy called Mr. McCormick is killed in a protest, launched and splattered against a network building. He doesn’t look like Kenny’s dad though

Zombie Clyde attacks Bebe, rude

Wendy gave her costume contest prize (2 tons of candy) to hungry children in Nairobi

Cartman’s mom is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine. “Back do’ ho… Five on one action!” is the headline

Cartman genuinely cries at Kenny’s grave after the whole zombie thing but gets over it because of candy

Stan knows his mom’s credit card number and has no problem using it to adopt an Ethiopian child (the boys wanted a watch that came with the adoption, they weren’t doing it to be nice)

Cartman calls Stan a vas deference, Stan doesn’t know what that is so Kenny says “Dude, it’s a pipe for your peepee” (according to a transcript). Kenny sure knows male anatomy

Kyle sniffs Kenny after Cartman asks why poor people smell like sour milk and Garrison says ��idk eric they just do”

Cartman thinks poor people should die and decrease the surplus population

When the boys get Starvin’ Marvin delivered to them, Cartman says “Hey mom, we found an Ethiopian, can we keep him?” and his mom says “Sure, hun.” She rarely says no to Cartman

Kenny’s dad is an alcoholic who drinks scotch according to Cartman. I mean, Mr. McCormick is seen drinking in multiple episodes and has a hat that says SCOTCH so it’s probably true

Kenny’s family says grace

Craig’s first appearance is S01E09. Also, S01E09 is the first time Kenny doesn’t die (Coincidence? I THINK yeah but it’s still fun)

Clyde got named in S01E10

Clyde and Bebe both spit on Pip’s face, friendship goals <3

Cartman and Kyle have their first fight at Cartman’s birthday party because Kyle didn’t give the right gift. Cartman slaps his face and  screams “I hate you! I want you to die! Die!” while on top of Kyle who’s not really fighting back

Satan throws a fight with Jesus after everyone except Satan bet that Jesus would lose, which leads to Satan winning everyone’s money. Mr. Garrison says “What a mean thing to do!” and Jimbo says “He is a jerk!” and I thought it was quite a laugh so I wrote it down

In S01E11 Tom’s Rhinoplasty Bebe and Wendy are sitting in the swings together and generally appear together throughout the episode, then Bebe gives Wendy a makeover so they’re bffs obviously <3

Craig first appears in the classroom, though not sitting down, in S01E11

Wendy’s not happy about Ms. Ellen taking Stan away from her, she says “Don’t fuck with me! Stay away from my man, bitch, or I’ll whoop your sorry ho ass back to last year!”

Kenny gives Ms. Ellen a scrumptious looking sausage as a valentine’s gift and giggles deviously. Wendy’s gift to Ms. Ellen is a dead animal

Even Kenny doesn’t know what a lesbian is

Wendy’s grandma died in S01E11

Wendy gets Ms. Ellen killed by hiring the Iraqi government (?) to put her in a rocket and shoot it into the sun, then she and Bebe have a pool party (very cool, they wear sunglasses 😎) and watch the rocket hit the sun

Cartman and Pip play a game of kicking each other in the nuts until someone falls. Cartman calls it “Roshambo”

Kenny has a sack of marbles

The boys aren’t fans of Barbra Streisand, but Stan is a fan of the Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway (he’s not a quarterback anymore, he’s an American football executive and the president of football operations for the Denver Broncos of the NFL according to wikipedia.)

Officer Barbrady is a fan of Fiona Apple (who was 20 at the time and had only one album released called Tidal)

Ned knows how to pilot a helicopter

Kyle’s mom is a fan of Streisand unlike literally everyone else, she even gets an autograph from Mecha Streisand

The boys are fans of Robert Smith, the lead singer of The Cure. Stan says “Robert Smith is the greatest person that ever lived!” and Kyle says “Disintegration is the best album ever!” and Cartman says “Robert Smith kicks ass!” and Kenny’s dead so he doesn’t get to have an opinion

Cartman has tea parties with his toys: Polly Prissypants, Clyde frog, Peter Panda, and a dragon called Rumpertumskin

Kyle wants to make fun of Cartman for the tea party but Stan stops him because he’s concerned that Cartman needs help

Craig is in front of the school counselor’s office in S01E13

A young miss Cartman drinks like a motherfucker at the 12th annual drunken barn dance where Cartman was supposedly conceived

Stan lets Cartman borrow his bike like a good friend

Garrison wanted to have a threesome with Chef and Cartman’s mom. I don’t know why I’m making a note of this but uh… yeah.

Cartman’s mom has had sex with everyone at this bar that Garrison’s drinking at, including principle Victoria, the mayor, Father Maxi, and Jesus (and maybe Kenny’s dad since he’s at the bar but the camera doesn’t pan to him when Garrison says they’ve all slept with Liane). Later Gerald Broflovski is a possible father to Eric, so he fucked her too. Also Mr. Mephesto and his friend Kevin, that little guy, are candidates along with a lot of other people, including the 1989 Denver Broncos (and Mr. Tenorman is included in that later)

Cartman doesn’t make fun of Kyle for being Jewish much at all in this season even though the Christmas episode is all about Kyle not celebrating

Clyde and Token appear very early on and Clyde has always been in the classroom (along with Bebe, Red, Kevin Stoley, Wendy, and Pip and uhh DogPoo too I think). Craig appears later in the season and Tweek’s not in season 1 at all, so Craig’s gang isn’t really a thing yet

And here’s a list of the ways Kenny died in this season. He dies in every episode except episode 9, and he dies twice in episodes 2 and 3. Altogether he dies 14 times

S01E01 Killed after alien shoots him, cows stampede over him, then cop runs him over which finally actually kills him

S01E02 Killed in a play by a falling teepee, then a second time shot by Garrison which sends him in the air and he gets impaled on a flagpole on the way down

S01E03 Killed by a volcano rock that burns him then rolls on him but he’s alive again in the end but gets shot by Ned’s gun that he drops and it accidentally goes off

S01E04 Gets his arms and head torn off in an American football game

S01E05 Stan’s clone punches Kenny into a microwave where he gets cooked alive

S01E06 Death touches Kenny

S01E07 Kenny gets crushed by a Russian space station and turns into a zombie because he gets Worcestershire sauce in his veins, then Kyle chainsaws zombie Kenny in half, then zombie Kenny rises from his grave and is crushed by a statue and a plane

S01E08 Kenny is killed by a bunch of turkeys. His eye gets plucked out. It’s dark blue

S01E10 After Kenny gets turned into a duck-billed platypus, Jimbo and Ned shoot him

S01E11 Ms. Ellen throws a sword through Kenny’s face

S01E12 While Mecha Streisand and a giant robot Leonard Maltin fight, Kenny plays with a tetherball and gets the rope wrapped around his neck and it strangles him

S01E13 Kenny gets stuck on a go kart and it drags him around but stops and he’s still alive! Too bad the go kart stops on train tracks and a train runs him over. Stan’s grandpa sends a video of the event to America’s Stupidest Home Videos and wins $10,000

If you read all that, first of all hello. I’m not new to the fandom even though this is the first thing I’ve posted on this tumblr blog. I’ve been writing a fanfic called Caffetamine though so I’m not a complete non-entity. Anyway, I’ll watch season 2 soon and post my notes on that too probably.

[herbietales]

12 (Kyle), 13, 25, 7 :)))))

thank you for asking!!!!!!!! <333 sorry i got to this so late

12. Tell me a headcanon that you have for Kyle!

he slips into his new jersey accent whenever he gets angry or wants to start a fight, probably had those moments where he's looking into the camera like a reality tv show lol also that he's a hopeless romantic and probably has kimi no todoke as one of his top anime of all time but no one knows that except his anilist

13. Favorite ship? Tell us why!

obviously,, as my blog title announces it as - k2, aka kenny and kyle! it first started out when they both simply were my favourite characters and i just wanted to see them both more and i began to think about it - both kyle and kenny are smart in their own ways, kyle being a person who seems to be bit more put together but outspoken while kenny is seen to be more reckless but quiet. im totally in love with the journalist-kyle and vigilante-kenny trope because of that, both protective souls who cares and wants to protect each other in their own way!! in canon when kenny as mysterion goes to kyle because he believes he's the smartest kid in school, and also sheila being friends with carol and their dads becoming high school friends is also such good material for them to grow closer to each other - and there are times where kyle, stan and cartman had expressed care towards kenny's safety (maybe not in earlier seasons lol) and feelings like in major boobage, kyle took away the cats to prevent kenny from getting high, or having to tell kenny that his girlfriend was a "whore". kyle being the only one there for kenny when he was in pain the whole time in Kenny Dies?? and then beating up cartman for kenny? also - kenny growing up to be a scientist, smart and all, yet keeping his charm, i feel like that would appeal to kyle in a way, it would crop up really good spicy intellectual banter between them..(also dude, both of them in south park in the adult timeline? like they def have met up right...) i have so much feelings for both of them individually and as a duo

25. How and why did you get into South Park?

i cant believe its been years since the first game, south park stick of truth and i saw a youtuber get into it, and i watched that gameplay of it- then i got into the tumblr fandom of it back then in 2014? i was really into it for a some healthy amount of months, and watched every episode then! but tbh i fell out a bit after 2015 since i got busy with school but i think?? i used to have kyle broflovski rp blog, but i cant remeber anything about it now

7. Favorite adult and why?

i honestly. dont exactly have a favorite adult that i actively rooted for- but maybe Big Gay Al or Mr Slave bc theyve just been funny n kind of wholesome (past the garrison part, for mr slave) everytime theyve been involved like in cripple fight where big gay al was in scouts, or mr slave in stupid spoiled whore video playset where he out-whored paris and taught the girls to not be a whore like him - i just like how they own it and they feel more put together than the other adults and parents (which is a bar lower than hell tbh) BUT if its not them, then by elimination for me is sheila or carol, leaning more towards sheila bc i respect her a lot for putting up with gerald dfgdsg

[thepunkbug]

Okay, so there’s a lot going on right now to do with Brendon Urie from Panic! At The Disco, and I figured I’d give my take on it.

Before I start, I should say I got most of my information from other people on social media - YouTube, Twitter, Tik Tok, and I read some articles. Because of where I got most of my information, I won’t be able to link anything, so I implore you to do your own research as well. That being said, here’s a brief rundown of what happened, with my opinion at the end.

First and foremost, Brendon has been called out for being racist. There’s a Vine of him mouthing along to the n-word, and while he didn’t outright say it, he did still mouth along to it. Being white, he had no business doing that, and he should’ve censored the word out entirely, but he didn’t. He’s since apologized and been a supporter of BLM, even going onto Twitch when George Floyd was killed, and making a post on his Instagram about how white privilege affects him, all of which can be found on YouTube or Instagram.

Secondly, he was accused of being transphobic. Most of you are probably confused because he is pansexual himself, and he wrote a song about bisexuality, and he can be found decked out in pride flags at concerts. However, there is a video of him at an interview saying the transphobic slur, and since he’s cisgender, he has no right using that word. From what I know, he was explaining his sexuality when someone asked him about it, and he quoted what someone had said to him, which included the transphobic slur. He’s since apologized on Periscope (I’m not sure if there’s a YouTube video of that or not), and as we all know, he’s been a huge advocate for LGBTQ+ rights ever since.

There’s also a video of Brendon joking about raping fans at a concert. You can find this on YouTube, where he says something along the lines of “If I see you after the show, I’m gonna fuck you. I don’t care if you want it - I care more if you don’t!” If the video isn’t edited shorter, you can also hear Dallon Weekes say “And I’m gonna watch,” though no one ever mentions that. This isn’t me trying to get Dallon cancelled. Quite frankly, I don’t like cancel culture and I think people are way too trigger happy to destroy someone’s career. My only reason for interjecting this is if you’re gonna get mad at Brendon for making that joke, then get mad at Dallon for adding onto it, too.

More recently, he’s been accused of sexually assaulting a fan. Someone on Twitter by the name of Kam retold a story of being a minor when he met Brendon, and Brendon was kissing and touching him inappropriately despite knowing he was a minor. There were also other accounts saying similar things happened to them. However, from what I know, the whole Kam thing was actually a Wattpad self-insert fanfiction that someone stole the plot of, and the multiple different accounts were actually one person, and they were lying, so there’s absolutely no evidence of Brendon sexually assaulting a minor or behaving inappropriately in that way whatsoever.

Lots of people also get upset with the Zack Hall thing. Zack Hall was Brendon’s bodyguard for a long time, and Breezy Weekes recently came out and said that Zack Hall basically sexually harassed her the entire time Dallon was in Panic!. Other people came out and said they had similar encounters with Zack Hall, and he’s now fired from Panic!. Similarly, when Kenny Harris was accused of sexually harassing/assaulting minors, he was also fired. People are upset because Brendon is remaining friends with Zack Hall, though I really don’t think that’s any of our business. As far as I see it, they’ve been close friends for years, and it’s hard to just drop that, even if they do something you disagree with. Also, Zack was fired, which is what people wanted. I think it’s dumb to hold Brendon to a friend’s actions, especially when he already fired him and removed him from fans, like everyone was asking him to do.

Also (and I’m not as well informed with this as other topics), there’s an interview somewhere of Ryan Ross being uncomfortable with Brendon’s stage gay. I’m not sure how many times they had that conversation or how often Ryan asked Brendon to not touch him or do the stage gay routine with him, or how many times Brendon disregarded that once they were onstage. Brendon should’ve respected Ryan’s wishes and not touched him the first time he was asked, but again, I don’t know the specifics here, so this is all I can comment on here.

[Edit: I had someone reach out to me in regards to the above information, and I decided to keep everything I originally wrote as context. According to them, there isn’t an interview of Ryan saying he’s uncomfortable with the stage gay, and it was all in fact scripted between the two of them. It sounds like people basically made up Ryan being uncomfortable with the act, in which case, these accusations also appear to be entirely false.] 

As we all know, Brendon struggled with drug and alcohol addiction, which literally impairs judgment and makes you do things you normally wouldn’t do. This includes saying things you shouldn’t (making rape jokes to a supposedly 18+ audience while likely drunk, high, or both) and doing things you shouldn’t (the stage gay routine). I’d also like to point out that a lot of the stuff he said at shows was probably to entertain, particularly the stage gay stuff, and there’s no way in hell you can convince me the audience didn’t eat that shit up. I wouldn’t be surprised if he did those things to get a reaction, and you know he fucking got one, so while I disapprove of him making Ryan uncomfortable, I also understand the audience there, expecting it, probably didn’t help either.

I think that’s everything. As you can see, it’s a lot of stuff, but I don’t think any of it is as bad as people say. Mouthing the n-word once doesn’t make a person racist. Saying a transphobic slur once doesn’t make a person transphobic. He especially isn’t either of these things when you take into account how he’s since apologized and shown incredible support for BLM and the LGBTQ+ community, which I think says a lot about him as a person.

This is going off track a little bit, but I think it’ll make a point. My dad grew up in the seventies, in a time where homophobia was rampant and racism was common. My dad grew up homophobic and racist, and he used homophobic slurs all the time as a teenager and a young adult. To this day, my dad has prejudiced views about race and sexuality, but he’s obviously changed his opinion since then, with education and understanding. He never apologized for the things he said back then, mostly because he isn’t famous and no one has called him out for it.

The point is, if people held my dad responsible for things he said in high school and college, when he was the most ignorant, the most sheltered, the least exposed to other people and cultures, then he’d be labeled racist and homophobic now (which he technically is, simply by virtue of being white and straight, but that’s a conversation for another time). We need to give people room to grow, give them resources to educate themselves and combat their ignorance. Brendon Urie has DONE that, multiple times! He’s never been accused of racism aside from mouthing the n-word in a Vine, which, should I remind you how old Vine is? He’s never been accused of being transphobic aside from that one time he used a slur, when he wasn’t even using his own words.

I’m not trying to excuse what he’s done. Using those slurs, making Ryan uncomfortable [edit: probably not true], joking about rape, none of those things are okay, and that’s pretty damn obvious to everyone, I think. However, it’s also evident he’s changed since then. As far as I know, he’s never used a slur since then. He’s an advocate for BLM and the LGBTQ+ community. He’s struggled with addiction, which isn’t easy for anyone, and he’s been able to grow and become a better person since then. I absolutely agree with holding him accountable for what he said and did, especially the things we don’t agree with. He’s a public figure, and he has to be aware of what he says and how his actions have consequences. That’s just how it works when you’re in the public eye.

Do I think Brendon Urie deserves to be cancelled? Absolutely not. He’s human, and all humans change. I’m not the same person I was ten years ago, and ten years from now, I’ll be someone else entirely. If someone held me responsible for every mistake I ever made and completely disregarded my progress and personal growth, I’d look like a horrible person. Why aren’t we keeping that energy for Brendon? Hold him accountable. Keep him responsible for what he did. And allow him to improve. Allow him to educate himself. Allow him to better himself. Allow him to be fucking human, for fuck’s sake.

So, there’s my take. I’m still a Panic! At The Disco fan, and I’m still a huge fan of Brendon Urie himself. Unless he regresses completely and becomes Kanye West or some shit, I will continue to support him. He’s not even as problematic as some other people’s faves, so I’m not even gonna feel bad for continuing to support him. I’m acknowledging his shortcomings and recognizing his progress, because I understand that this isn’t black and white or two dimensional.

If his actions aren’t exuseable for you, then that’s fine. If you can’t be a fan of him of Panic! anymore, then that’s your decision. For me personally, I think his growth says a lot about his character, and I’m gonna continue to stick it out with him. You don’t have to like him, but quit being so close-minded about the good he’s done in all of this. It makes you look excited to destroy a person’s career, and quite frankly, I’m tired of trigger-happy, cancel culture junkies. Take it elsewhere.

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Xanadu

Another day, another 80s musical reviewed for Wes. This time it’s Xanadu, and I confess I am excited. I know less than nothing about this film, only that it’s 1) bad and 2) beloved by the gays. Sign me up, y’all. So did this inspire me to strap on some roller skates and Farrah Fawcett my hair to the beat of some groovin’ tunes? Well...

Not...exactly. It’s an entry in the list of films that I’m glad I’ve seen for their historical impact but probably never need to see again. Like Birth of a Nation but with less virulent racism. The basic plot is this: Sonny (Michael Beck) is an artist painting album covers when he meets a girl one day named Kira (Olivia Newton-John) who turns his world upside down. He also befriends, and eventually goes into business with, a man named Danny McGuire (Gene Kelly) and together they start a club called Xanadu. 

Some thoughts:

There’s an old man with a scarf sitting on a rocky beach playing his clarinet as the sun rises in the sky. What a way to greet the day. Holy shit that old man is Gene Kelly!! How did I not know he was in this? How is Xanadu’s legacy not “Yeah it’s this trippy rollerskating musical that GENE FREAKING KELLY was in”? So I guess the old clarinet man is actually important to the story, because I thought he was just like, a muse alerting us to the tale we were about to watch unfold. 

Ohhh Kenny Ortega is the choreographer, interesting. I’m so ready to see his early artistic vision and how it developed into the level of genius it was at for High School Musical. 

Ok, the first number is this kind of electric neon ballet set to ELO singing “I’m Alive” and it mostly consists of incredibly beautiful women with Farrah hair dancing and twirling in fantastic skirts while Olivia Newton-John is going :O the whole time. It’s no chandelier dropping from the ceiling, but it’s not a bad way to start a musical. 

Hm, well now the women are turning into lasers and running, kind of like The Flash. Maybe I spoke too soon.

These transitions between scenes are absolutely godawful Powerpoint transitions and I’m obsessed with them. It’s like eating a couple buffalo wings in between your entree and dessert. By itself, not bad, but why would you use that as a way to get from one experience to another?

I am really enjoying this kind of ghost number between Gene Kelly and Olivia Newton-John as he’s remembering his heyday. It’s sweet, and it’s not hard to see that Kelly is drawing on his own experiences and memories of his career in the 40s as he’s imagining this dance with his long lost love.

I don’t think anything is less romantic than roller skating in front of an industrial wind tunnel fan, however, so this part with ONJ and Michael Beck (who plays our main character, Sonny) is a big ol snoozefest. You’ll notice I have not mentioned Sonny yet and there’s a reason for that. He’s the movie’s equivalent of a black hole. I’m so uninterested when he’s on screen. He’s beige shag carpeting. He’s a baloney and mayo sandwich. He’s motel art. Every moment he’s onscreen and ONJ or Gene Kelly aren’t is a moment wasted.  

Every scene feels like a new vignette that is only loosely connected to the previous scenes. This showdown between the old jazz big band number and the 80s rock number feels like two extended music videos, one after the other or a dreadful mashup from Glee (and I don’t mean barely passable Glee, I mean the later seasons). 

Dammmmn have you ever had such a good kiss with someone that you turned animated? Me neither. I’m gonna work on that with Wife.

Oh and the animation sequence was produced by Don Bluth. Of course it fucking was. 

Sonny. My man. How can you love Kira when you don’t know anything about her at all? Have you guys even had one conversation? Or is it all rollerskating lasers and wind tunnel fans. I know you can’t hear a word she says over the sound of that fan, my dude.. 

Ah, so she’s one of the nine muses! This scene where she’s trying to convince Sonny is pretty funny actually. ONJ is hands down the most magnetic and interesting part of this movie.

Wait so...Sonny’s big plan is to run at a wall that’s got a painting on it, and he just assumes he can enter that painting like it’s a portal to another dimension? You’re just gonna Wile E. Coyote this motherfucker and hope for the best? This is probably the only interesting thing I can say about Sonny is that he’s dumb as a bag of hammers. 

Ugghhh this song about staying suspended in time is the “Cheer Up Charlie” of this movie, meaning it goes on way too long, grinds the action to a halt, and makes me irrationally furious just thinking about it.

But then here is Gene Kelly, roller skating through a parade of mimes juggling bowling pins, and it makes everything worth the price of admission again. 

“Xanadu” is the most confusing musical number I’ve ever seen. At one point everyone is tigers, then they’re cowboys. There’s a woman spinning in some kind of acrobatic harness by the back of her neck so she’s just spinning in tight circles. I think someone might have been on fire. I’m thinking John Mulaney watched this many times as inspiration for Stefon-endorsed clubs on SNL. 

Did I Cry? Not even close. 

This is a WEIRD one, which I knew going in, but you just don’t really know how weird until it’s happening to you. And this is definitely a movie that happens to you. Performances? Eh, ONJ and Gene Kelly are mainly skating by on pure charisma. But all the rollerskates and lasers in the world won’t make this script make a lick of sense. See it for the novelty, but it’s the movie equivalent of a Twinkie - confusing and not exactly filling, but enjoyable just the same. 

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[a-froger-epic]

NASTALLY'S ❇️Q U E E N❇️ FIC

📝 = (semi-)regular updates

❓= will update eventually

🧊 = on ice

✅ = complete

Freddie Mercury/Roger Taylor

Froger - Love & Sex (18+):

Dawn of Aquarius [the epic] ✅ - Roger and Freddie meet in 1969 and change each other's lives. (romance, sexual awakening, coming of age, YA drama, period-typical homophobia, family drama, realism)

Good Company ✅ - collab with @quirkysubject The Queen boys accidentally on purpose watch porn together. (friends to... still friends but with interesting wanking habits, internalised homophobia, pining, humour)

Dreams of Tomorrow 📝- collab with @tikiniki A mad, medieval fantasy adventure with the Queen boys. (troubadour AU, adventure, fantasy, friendship, magic, origin stories, vikings, battles, a donkey called Tootsie)

Dawn of the Living Dead ❓ - It's the zombie apocalypse in 1971. (horror, dark comedy, blood & gore, insanity, friendship)

The Miracle ❓ - A slightly different take on the A/B/O trope. (mpreg, friends to lovers, kid!fic, parenthood, emotional realism, discrimination)

the eye of the beholder ✅ - Roger buys a video camera. (established relationship, script format, humour, light-hearted)

Time Waits for No One ✅ - collab with @bisexualroger Freddie and Roger's relationship through the years. (Christmas themed, sad, life has no happy endings, grief, acceptance, breakup, lovers to friends, death)

Sehnsucht 🧊 - Roger visits Freddie in Munich. They have a past. (Inspired by Dawn of Aquarius, pining, friendship, life has no happy endings, hurt/comfort, but mostly hurt)

Froger - Love:

A Kind of Magical Adventure (and the Spider from Mars) ❓ - collab with @plainxte​ The Doctor Who/Queen crossover nobody asked for! (friends to lovers, there was only one bed, fluffy Christmas space adventure)

The Only Exception ✅ - On a night out, something is rekindled between Roger and Freddie. (drug use, pining, past relationship, the one that got away, some humour)

Foxey ✅ - Freddie gives Roger an impromptu lapdance. (Dawn of Aquarius missing scene, fluff, humour, established relationship)

Secret ✅ - Brian is a good secret keeper. (Inspired by Dawn of Aquarius, handholding, angst and fluff, mostly fluff)

I put a spell on you (because you’re mine) ✅ - A Halloween special. (Dawn of Aquarius missing scene, breakup, angst, humour)

Incidentally Homosexual  ✅ - Roger wants to talk to Freddie about the Kinsey scale and sexuality.  (Dawn of Aquarius missing scene, internalised homophobia, pure fluff, soft boyfriends)

It’s Grim Up North (But There’s Light Up Ahead) ✅ - collab with @pumpkinlilyao3​ One time Roger saves Freddie, and one time Freddie saves Roger. (Friends to lovers, violence, slurs, angst, happy ending)

Promise ✅ - Roger and Freddie prepare for a special event in 2015. (Inspired by Dawn of Aquarius, Freddie lives, growing old together, pure fluff)

Tootsie’s Story ✅ - How Roger rescued a donkey. (Dreams of Tomorrow prequel, fantasy, adventure, troubadour AU, established relationship)

Ooh Love, ooh Loverboy… ✅ - Freddie through Roger's eyes. (established relationship, internal monologue, tooth-rotting fluff)

Romantic Drabbles ❓ - A mixed bag of Froger romance.

Froger - Porn Without Plot (18+):

A is for Amsterdam ✅ - Roger and Freddie walk into a sex shop. (Established relationship, bdsm, sex toys, dom!Roger, sub! Freddie, a bit of fluff and humour too)

B is for Bound ✅ - There's something Freddie would like to do. (Established relationship, bdsm, non-con play, dom!Roger, sub!Freddie)

C is for Control ✅ - There's something Roger would like to do. (Established relationship, mild bdsm dynamics, switching, top!Freddie, fluff)

D is for Discipline ✅ - Freddie turns a game into something a little more serious. (Spanking, bdsm, power dynamics, subspace, referenced cheating, guilt, dom drop)

Right until the ends of the Earth ✅ - Romantic piano sex. (Inspired by Dawn of Aquarius, mild bdsm dynamics, romance)

Tight Squeeze  ✅ - collab with @bambirexwrites fem!Queen; Regina and Freddie go shopping for shorts. Regina has some trouble fitting into them. Freddie helps her feel better. (Established relationship, body worship, semi-public sex)

One Fine Morning  ✅ - Freddie is trapped between two primal urges. (Established relationship, mild omorashi, morning sex)

Smutty Drabbles ❓- A mixed bag of Froger sexytimes.

Froger - Gen/shippy Gen:

Good Times (Better Times) ✅ - How Freddie met Roger, a Dawn of Aquarius prequel. (internal monologue, the Kensington pub, art student Freddie)

that special brew ✅ - That time Freddie accidentally drank marrijuana tea. (humour, Roger being a very sweet friend, light-hearted)

a joke nobody tells ✅ - Newly formed Queen dynamics or: not even Roger knows what is going on in Freddie's head. (group dynamics, insecurities, fear of failure, hurt/comfort)

Ghosts ✅ - Freddie’s arrival in Australia awakens some memories he would rather forget. (angst, referenced past sexual assault, friendship, hurt/comfort)

Including Love ✅ - Freddie and Roger love each other. But perhaps, not in that way. Or do they? (Roger-centric, character study, period-typical attitudes, male friendship, bromance)

Freddie Mercury

that which is good ❓ - Freddie meets Kenny. Two gay men struggling to find themselves, find comfort in each other’s friendship. (Angst, internalised homophobia, male friendship, hurt/comfort) 

Moments ❓ - A collection of moments in Freddie’s life. (Vignettes, angst, fluff, death, life, everything)

with my trust like a child ❓ - collab with @aboutnothingness A look at several of Freddie’s birthdays throughout his life (Hurt/no comfort, hurt/comfort, internal monologue, implied underage, heavy angst)

The God Abandons Antony [Freddie Mercury/Joe Fanelli] 🧊 - collab with @freddieofhearts​ On tour in the US, Freddie meets somebody new. (Internal monologue, angst, euphoria, new love, romance, cheating)

Rapture and Solace ✅ - 1991. (Internal monologue, fear of death, terminal illness, acceptance, background Jimercury)

to the bone (18+) ✅ - A police officer lets Freddie off the hook, in exchange for a favour. (Period-typical homophobia, abuse of power, sexual assault, hurt/no comfort)

Ménage à Deux  ✅ - An exploration of Freddie’s friendship with Barbara Valentin. (Dubcon, recreational drug use)

Naughty ✅ - Freddie's mind wanders while he poses nude for a life drawing class. (Internal monologue, some humour, internalised homophobia)

Don’t You (Walk Away) [Freddie Mercury/Winnie Kirchberger] ✅ - After a fight with Winnie, Freddie contemplates his life in Munich. (Hurt/No Comfort, toxic relationships, angst)

Freddie Love ❓ - Freddie-centric drabble collection.

Freddie Mercury/Brian May

As it Began ✅ - Freddie goes to write his dissertation at Brian's house. (Smile Era, boys with a crush, friendship, first kiss, angst, hurt/comfort)

Blacklight in Zero Gravity (18+)  ❓ - It's 2029, Freddie Mercury is working as a stripper and one night, the mysterious Brian May walks into his life. (Modern AU, sex & drugs, pining, humour, angst, fluff, romance, morally grey characters, smut)

Click! ✅ - Freddie meets a guy he just can’t get off his mind at work. (Modern AU, photographer!Freddie, model!Brian, social media, humour, meet cute)

the sun and moon and stars are you ✅ - Freddie and Brian are expecting, and getting ready for a Halloween party. (trans!Freddie AU, pregnancy, humour, fluff)

The Sound of Your Fear ✅ - Brian and Freddie stay in a very creepy hotel. (Ghost story, terror, haunted house, platonic/pre-slash Maycury)

Dreams of Tomorrow (18+) [Maycury, Froger, Joger] 📝 - collab with @tikiniki​ A mad, medieval fantasy adventure with the Queen boys. (troubadour AU, adventure, fantasy, friendship, magic, origin stories, vikings, battles, a donkey called Tootsie)

Freddie Mercury/Jim Hutton

Maybe I’m Amazed ✅ - Freddie is upset about an argument with Jim, who surprises him. (Angst, hurt/comfort, romance and fluff)

Interlude ✅ - Freddie has a great time at his 39th birthday party - for the most part. (Angst, non-consentual drug use, hopeful ending)

Sticks and Stones ✅ - Freddie reads a headline she wishes she hadn’t seen. (Fem!Jimercury, body image, fluff, happy ending)

Other Ships

Dawn of the Living Dead (18+) [Poly!Queen & Froger] ❓ - It's the zombie apocalypse in 1971. (horror, dark comedy, blood & gore, insanity, friendship, smut)

Kneel Down by Your Side and Pray [Maylor & Johnica] 🧊 - collab with @quirkysubject @tikiniki and @plainxte In a dystopian world where slavery is the norm, four young men struggle with their circumstances. (Dystopian AU, violence, blood & gore, sexual abuse, angst, friendship, hurt/no comfort, pining)

Sacrifice (18+) [Maylor] ✅ - Roger is being sacrificed to the God of Fertility. (Fantasy AU, humour, Monty Python-esque, technically non-con but not angsty, satire)

Colour Me Surprised [Joger] ✅ - Roger helps John with his make-up. (Yearning, gay panic)

a bona cackle [OMC/OMC, background Froger] ✅ - Dawn of Aquarius spin-off ficlet. A phone conversation in Polari. (Period-typical attitudes, queer history)

Gen

and the rest is history ✅ - The day John Deacon auditioned for Queen. 

lazing on a sunny afternoon  ✅ - A short, sweet fem!Queen ficlet.

The Sound and the Fury ✅ - collab with @quirkysubject​ Roger is struggling when the past catches up with him. Brian is a good friend. (hurt/comfort, friendship, angst)

Not Like Other Groups ✅ - Queen escape from an angry gang of skinheads by means of a car chase. (humour, friendship, action)

Maple Leaves ✅ - John struggles with Freddie’s illness. (heavy angst, death, grief)

Non-Fiction

Interview With A Queen “Groupie” - I interviewed a lady who knew the Queen boys back when she was at Ealing Art School. Yes, really.