#watching the cats playing after every exam make me feel a lot better really

[le010n11]

Got nothing to share today so here are some cute pics I took yesterday of the cats who live at my school rent free. They are so adorable thought i would share.

[bubbledumbbinch]

Yandere! Idia Shroud x Camgirl! Reader SMUT

A/N: Hello! This is my first fic I've posted on tumblr, and I'm not used to using it at all. I hope this turned out okay and you enjoy! This is a College AU, implied magicless world, and reader is a camgirl.

This fic is purely 18+, minors do not interact.

Word Count: ~4.4k

Warnings: dubcon, brief mention of blood, non consensual drug use (aphrodisiacs)

Friday night, 11:24pm, 6 minutes before your scheduled time to start “work”. You had just finished putting on your makeup and outfit, now trying to hype yourself up in the mirror.

'I can do this. This is gonna be a great show!' You told yourself, while staring at your reflection wearing the revealing outfit. Tonight’s choice was a catgirl maid costume; the maid dress just barely covering your body and showing a large amount of chest. A choker with a bell on it, cat ears, and thigh high socks.

Giving yourself a nod of encouragement, you sat down in the chair in front of your desk, where your laptop and webcam were situated, along with your ring lights, one at each side of the desk so you were well lit for the camera. Making sure you were logged into the site, your camera angle looked good, and your laptop was charging, you waited.

You loved your side gig as a camgirl. You were able to appeal to multiple people’s sexual desires while also being able to bring yourself to pleasure, sometimes more than once per stream, if there were enough donations of course. You were also able to make a decent amount of money while doing this side job, paying for college while having fun was a pretty big plus. And, if you were gonna be honest, the validation of being attractive to so many people really made you feel a lot better about yourself.

You quickly noticed your clock switch to 11:30pm. Time to start. You clicked on the set of buttons you pretty much knew by heart to get the show started. Once it did, you started up some music to fill the silence. Just some cute electronic music to dance in your chair to while you wait for the viewers to come in. You didn’t really have as many as the big camgirls but you had a few loyal people come and watch your streams, which set your heart at ease.

5 viewers

cay-kun @ 11:31pm: wooow y/n-chan, you look so cute! excited for tonight’s show~

User18535 @ 11:32pm: fuck you��re so goddamn cute, i love your tits. can’t wait to see what that pussy looks like

10 viewers

You playfully giggled while reading the last message, winking and sticking your tongue out while flashing the camera your panties from under your skirt. While waiting for more people to join, you also made a point to talk to your viewers, asking about their day and what they’ve been up to recently, which they loved you for.

25 viewers

User58273 @ 11:34pm: You look so kawaii, I wish I could have you service me.

40 viewers

Glancing at the viewer count, you decide to officially start.

“Hi hiii~ I’m so happy to see you all here tonight! Let’s have some fun, hmm?” you started playfully. “Do you guys like my outfit?” Messages of “yes” and “yeah baby”s began flooding the chat and you grinned. “Well, I have something that will be a real treat for you all~”

You reached over to grab something that couldn’t be seen by the camera or the viewers.

~~~~~

Idia was browsing through the site full of nude streamers, trying to find a person to watch so he could relieve his tension from this week. It was midterms season and his Computer Science teachers were giving him hell by making him do in person presentations, exams, and assignments that kept piling up. It took a lot of time away from gaming and side projects of coding his own programs. He also unfortunately didn’t have his little brother Ortho with him in college, as the university didn’t allow them both to attend “as one student”. Ortho definitely eased some stress as someone he could trust and talk to, but Idia’s parents decided to keep Ortho at home to “prevent Idia from being distracted”, much to his dismay.

Idia was at least blessed to not have a roommate, so he could at least have his own privacy for nights like this. Idia’s eyes landed on a thumbnail of a girl that was dressed in cat ears and a lewd maid outfit and was intrigued. He clicked on the video icon and was met with your figure bent so that your ass was up and legs were spread on the chair you were previously sitting on. The girl on the stream had her panties down to her knees and was currently lubing up a cat tail butt plug.

“Ah, I’ve never used this before so, bear with me, please!” She pleaded, eyes looking directly at the camera. Idia was intrigued now this was her first time using it. He felt like this was perfect timing, almost like she was doing it just for him. Until he saw the comments flooding in from different people who were probably thinking the same way.

“Put it in already”

“Go slow okay~”

“don’t force yourself if you don’t want to! >//<”

“Tch,” Idia scoffed to himself. “Seems like she has simps already. No use in being interested in someo-“

“H- here it goes!” You moaned, starting to slowly shove the length and girth of the butt plug into your tight hole. “Aaanh~ it’s stretching me out...” Your eyes pricked with tears while your face contorted into pure pleasure with a hint of pain, all while staring at the camera. Every so often he could hear the little jingle from the bell on your choker.

Idia felt his pants getting tighter and his palms were starting to sweat. The face you made at him was just too unreal and he needed more. He palmed at his growing erection while you shivered at the feeling of being filled by the toy. Pulling his sweatpants down to his ankles, he started stroking his cock lightly.

cay-kun @ 11:38pm: oh y/n-chan the way that stretches out your hole is so sexy~ definitely taking a screenshot for later!

User39748 @ 11:38pm: SHIT i wish i was there fucking you with that in your ass

Blushing, you turned around so that one of your legs were in the chair while your other was up, effectively showing the camera a view of your pussy and butt plug. “What do you want me to do? I’ll just play with myself until someone makes a donation and tells me what I should do! Highest bidder within the next minute~.” With that, you looked into the camera again while soaking your middle and ring fingers with saliva and bringing them to your clit, rubbing small circles into it.

Idia realized that, even now, he wanted to have some kind of control over you. He had a lot of disposable income, being from a pretty rich family. The blue haired boy grabbed his credit card and began to type.

Ignia has donated $100!

Your eyes widened and you gasped slightly. Idia bit his bottom lip at the sight. “Ah, Ignia! Thank you for the donation, you’re new here! Welcome, what would you like to see me do~?” You smiled while looking at the camera. Idia felt like you were staring into his soul and he was sweating profusely. He thought for a minute, gulped, and decided to send a message.

Ignia @ 11:43pm: I want you to keep watching my messages and do what I say, kitten. First I want you to grab a vibrating dildo if you have one and put it at the lowest setting, then fuck yourself slowly with it.

Idia would never have the balls to be this bold with anybody. But this is the internet, so fuck it, he’ll be truthful and just say what he wanted.

You nodded and proceeded to grab one from the table of toys you had next to your desk, lubed it slightly, and did what he told you to. You moaned at the intrusion and the feeling of being filled. “Mmh, it feels so good..!” You cried out.

Ignia has donated $50!

Ignia @ 11:45pm: And by the way, call me Master. You don’t get to cum until I say so.

You shivered at this stranger’s boldness and quietly spoke, “Yes, master...” you looked away shyly from the camera and closed your eyes for a minute, thrusting the vibrating device in and out of your wetness. A couple of moans slipped through your mouth as you felt your juices spreading onto your legs.

Ignia @ 11:47pm: Faster. Fuck yourself faster for me, kitten, and put it on the medium setting for me.

You did as you were told, fingers trembling to follow what the stranger had told you. Your (h/c) hair was starting to feel moist from your layer of sweat and your body was heating up, causing your breasts to stick to the costume.

Ignia @ 11:49pm: Take your tits out and play with your nipples

You panted heavily and lowered your chest area’s covering, revealing the sheen of sweat around your tits. Flicking your left nipple while working the dildo with your right, your hands were occupied with pleasing yourself as this stranger commanded, moaning out. “Aah, m-master, f-feels so go-ood~!”

Idia was smirking, stroking hard at his cock at the sight and idea of you actually doing what he said almost made him cum then and there, but he stopped himself. He couldn’t help the rapid beating of his heart when you said the last sentence. Idia felt special. The power he had over you was addicting and he wanted to see you push yourself over the edge under his command.

65 viewers

User58273: Fuck this is so hot, I wish I could be your master too

Seeing this comment somehow made Idia seethe. He didn’t want to share you, even though this was his first stream with you. You made him feel special. He started typing out his draft of what to reply to the thirsty viewers.

Draft: Ignia: You stupid bastards, no, I’m not going to share her.

Before Idia could send the message you spoke up in a moaning voice. “*pant* N-no, my master tonight is I-Ignia, haanh~”. You were still playing with your nipples while fucking yourself well with the dildo, a light blush decorated your face and beads of sweat starting to form on the sides of your face and your body.

Idia’s jaw dropped. ‘Does she actually really want me?’ He was getting hot, too hot for his own comfort. Usually he wouldn’t last this long during his sessions but he really wanted to see you fall apart under his command. He paid for it, after all.

“Master~ I’m getting close, I- I wanna cum soon!” You whined, pleading (e/c) orbs staring into the camera with your mouth open from panting heavily.

“Cum already, don’t hold yourself back”

“Just keep going babygirl”

“Let yourself cum”

Once again, Idia scoffed in annoyance, but he noticed you never acknowledged any of the other commenters, waiting patiently for the words to come from him.

Ignia @ 11:55pm: put the toy at the highest setting, fuck yourself til you cum, then keep pumping it while you ride out your climax.

Upon seeing those words, your fingers work to put your toy at the highest setting inside your dripping cunt. You closed your eyes while you try to imagine the user who was giving out the commands, imagining them slapping your ass and fucking you until you could see stars. The feeling of both of your holes being filled was overwhelming now, and the hot feeling built up in your core faster than you realized. Idia could see it too, the heaving of your chest was picking up rapidly.

“M-,, ma- master.! I’m cumming!!!” You shrieked. Closing your eyes with your tongue unintentionally lolling out, you released a silent scream as soon as your orgasm hit. It felt like a knot inside of your body had come undone suddenly. Your orgasm had your pussy clenching around the toy that was still vibrating intensely inside of you, stimulating you longer and making you release high pitched screams.

Hearing your words before cumming had Idia teetering on the edge, but watching your facial expressions and your moans made him finish suddenly with a grunt, his pale cock spurting thick white cum all over his hand. Still, Idia kept stroking his length while you were riding out your high, overstimulating himself to match your actions on the stream.

You pulled out the toy weakly and turned it off, putting it down on a towel next to your desk.

Ignia has donated $5!

Ignia @ 11:59pm: Spread your pussy lips babygirl, I wanna see your tight hole.

User39748 @ 11:59pm: I agree with Ignia

cay-kun @ 12:00am: ah~ I also agree. Let’s see you spread it, hmm~? Oh, can you also do a lil ‘nya!’?

You checked the chat and blushed heavily, post-orgasm shyness now taking over your mind. You hesitantly shifted in the chair while spreading yourself open with your pointer and middle finger, showing off your glistening folds with your lightly abused hole. “Nya...” you held up your other hand to do the signature “catgirl” pose, playfully sticking your tongue out too.

Idia was cleaning himself off but he could feel himself twitch again, staring at your meek form. You were so gorgeous and he really wanted to see more of you, making sure to press the “Follow” button, so he wouldn’t miss another stream.

After a few seconds, you decide to end your show, feeling extremely tired and needing a shower from sweating so much. “Thank you so so much for joining me tonight! I hope you guys have a wonderful rest of your evening~ take care and I hope to see you all soon!”

Small tips ranging between $1-$10 started to flow in along with messages of “take care~” “see you soon!” “great show baby ;)”.

You clicked off and you sighed deeply. Looking at your earnings tonight, you made around $200. This was probably the most you’ve made in one single stream, and $155 of that was from Ignia, a new follower and the one who pretty much commanded your entire show tonight. It really turned you on to have someone do that for you and it was the first time a viewer made you do something that felt so lewd that made you cum so quickly.

You stood up from the chair, cleaned up your desk and toys, and headed for the bathroom. Taking off your makeup in the sink, you jumped into the shower to clean yourself up.

~~~~~

Idia tentatively bit his shirt sleeve, his blue locks framing his face. Something inside of him told him that he needed to talk to you more. He had already typed out a message to send along with his friend request. He was scared - scared of being rejected by someone as pretty as you, especially now that he had already felt so attached to you, or rather, what he’s seen from the stream tonight.

Yellow eyes closed tightly as he clicked to send the friend request to you.

~~~~~

Jumping out of the shower, you throw on a head and body towel and started to brush your teeth. Walking around the room you realized your laptop was still on, and there was a notification box front and center. Curious, you clicked on it.

“One new friend request and message”.

“Friend Request: Ignia

Message: Hey, this is the user from your stream earlier. I just wanted to say I really enjoyed your stream tonight. You seem nice too, so I’d like to get to know you more. If you’re interested just feel free to add me back, no pressure ofc.

Thx

Ignia”

You blinked a few times, pondering what you should do. You had gotten messages from guys before but they only said cheap compliments and asking for private shows. You were single so there wasn’t anybody holding you down and this guy didn’t seem to radiate any bad vibes. His dominant nature over chat really turned you on and you were curious about him, so you decided to accept his friend request and send a reply.

“From: y/n-kitty-cat

Hi there :) I decided to accept your message, cause why not? You shouldn’t be that creepy, right? ;P anyway, I’m glad you enjoyed my stream tonight <3 I hope you can come to future ones too!! I’d like to see you around more ;)

❤️

y/n”

You sent the message and went to the bathroom to finish brushing your teeth and your other nightly routines.

Idia couldn’t believe his eyes - you had actually messaged him back and you were really flirtatious!! That meant he was different in your eyes, right? It has to be true! He was determined to meet up with you, eventually. His dick throbbed at the idea of having you to himself, pleasing him with your mouth, doing all those lewd faces you made on the stream... his mind wandered while he pushed his pants down once again and thought of his muse who was now his “friend”.

~~~~~

After a few days of messaging back and forth, you and Ignia had ended up exchanging numbers and using text to communicate almost daily. You found out things like what your majors in college were, finding out his real name was Idia, which was a pretty unique name, and realizing you were both from the same city. Well, it’s not like Idia hadn’t already done his research - the night he became your friend he had stalked all of your social medias under a throwaway account and scrolled through every photo and bit of information he could find about you. He was becoming so hyper fixated on you he needed to know more, who could blame him? Idia just hoped he would be seeing more of you in your streams so he could watch you get off again, maybe with his assistance.

Unfortunately for you though, you realized you couldn’t stream as much because midterms were also kicking your ass. You apologized to your viewers with a blog post who luckily understood and wished you luck, saying they looked forward to your next show.

Idia couldn’t see your pretty face from the stream, which made him yearn. He told Ortho about his crush on you and when the small boy told Idia to “just tell you the truth and meet up with you!” he wanted to shut down completely. But, he wasn’t completely opposed to the idea of you being in his room, exactly where he wanted you. Sighing, he picked up his phone to send you a text.

Idia: “hey”

Y/n: “hey there! 😉”

Idia: “soo i was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime”

Y/n: “omg 😱 like irl? I’ve never even heard your voice before lol”

Idia: “ik, i’m a bit shy in person.”

Y/n: “i see, so is the life of a gamer and a shut in?😏😂”

Idia: “hah, yeah i guess lol”

Y/n: “soo, what did you wanna do?”

Idia: “idk, anything you want. Except go outside. And be in public.”

Y/n: “pfft, that takes away like any idea at this point HAHA”

Idia: “ya lol i prefer gaming in my room tbh”

Y/n: “oh, then maybe we can just hang out and play games or something like that?”

Idia: “Yeah, why don’t you come over to my dorm, we could game and eat snacks”

Y/n: “Sounds great! This Friday then, 6pm?”

Idia: “Sure i’ll text you the details later”

Y/n: “Awesome :) see you in a couple days then ;)”

Idia: “cool”

Idia threw himself on his bed and screamed silently into the pillow. Idia wanted more than to just be your friend but unfortunately was also extremely shy, especially when talking to new people in person. But as he was sexually attracted to you, he knew he would have a hard time hiding it from you. He had hoped to initiate some kind of sexual interaction when you met up, wanting to indulge in your sinful reactions himself. He didn’t even want to think about anybody else seeing you like that. Idia was growing possessive and realized that if he were to get you where he wanted you, he needed to do a little bit of digging. Which meant searching the web for something that would help make you more agreeable to something sexual. He knew he himself couldn’t make you agree to it, he was too nervous to initiate that! He knew what he needed - an aphrodisiac.

Composing himself, he got onto his computer and compared his options as well as looking for advice on how to please a woman. His eyes widened and lips trembled as he realized he was definitely way too shy to initiate as much as other men do, but he was determined to try anything if it meant your attention.

~~~~~

Today was finally Friday, and the current time was 5:30pm. You styled your (h/c) locks and put on a light amount of makeup, not as much as you would when you streamed but enough to make yourself feel pretty. You also decided that you still wanted to be cute, even if you and Idia were just friends at this point, and wore a tight crop top, a high waisted black skirt, and some thigh high socks since it was a bit breezy outside. You topped it all off with a (f/c) cardigan so you could at least feel comfortable in the sleeves. Packing your bag, you took one last look at yourself in the mirror, did a little peace sign and smiled, feeling cute as hell. You grabbed your keys and walked out of your dorm, heading towards Idia’s campus.

You parked at the place he told you to and gotten out of your car, looking around for him. Shit, you just realized you didn’t even ask him what he was gonna wear or what he really looked like, which was pretty dumb in hindsight. You did catch a glimpse of a tall lanky guy with fluffy blue hair and a striped t-shirt, who was fumbling around on his phone and didn’t realize you was standing right by him.

“Excuse me,” you interrupted his peace softly, causing him to jump up and squeal in fear. “Oh!! I’n so sorry, I’m just looking for someone and I didn’t know if I was in the right place?”

Idia froze. It really was you, in the flesh, looking at him and taking his appearance in. You were gorgeous, even more so than he would have ever thought, and your voice brought tingles to his spine that made him shudder. Idia realized he was being quiet for a longer than acceptable time and he looked away. “H-hi,, y/n...” he mumbled barely even audible.

“Oh!! Idia? Is that you? Hi!!!” You exclaimed, seemingly really excited. Your mouth was curved into a wide smile too.

“Huh, you sound really enthusiastic...” Idia whispered, thinking he really said it in his own mind instead of out loud.

“Of course I am! I’m finally done with midterms and now I can relax and have fun with my new friend!” You said, bumping your shoulder with him, causing him to hold his breath.

Idia gulped when he realized what you said. Friend. Right, that’s all he was to you. At least for now. But hopefully that would change soon, right?

“Y-yeah. Let’s go inside.” Idia muttered, turning his back and walking.

Based on his demeanor, you almost forgot that Idia was the one who was so dominant during your stream the other week, since his attitude was so shy in real life. But, you pushed that thought to the back of your head, today was gonna be a fun day with a new friend, and that was strictly it. You didn’t really want to make your side job as a sex worker into a big thing that would make real life friendships difficult.

~~~~~

After he led you through the halls of the dorm, he brought you to a door and opened it up. Inside it was a bit messy, but an organized mess, one where the owner definitely knew where everything was. He had a pc setup with multiple monitors, RGB lighting which was mostly set to shades of blue, and a really nice gaming chair to go along with it. He also had a shelf with different manga series along it and other consoles for gaming, a bed, a door that led to a bathroom, and a mini fridge. Pretty nice for someone who lived without a roommate, you thought.

You walked over to his bed and flopped down onto it. Idia couldn’t help but think about the many times he had masturbated to you on those sheets that you were now sitting on. He was wondering what kind of panties you were wearing too, when he was suddenly interrupted.

“So! I guess we should get started on some games, yeah? I think I wanna play a fighting one against you! I’m totally gonna win~” You smiled up at him playfully.

Idia let his personality slip when games were brought up. “Tch, you really think you’re gonna win against me ? Think again.” The blue haired boy smirked down at you, which lit up the fire of competition in your heart.

“Let’s go then, dude.”

~~~~~

After about 15 minutes of close battles but still losing every one, you groaned and put the controller down on the floor where you and Idia were positioned in front of a monitor. You had developed a small sheen of sweat on your face from the stress. “Hey Idia, do you have anything to drink? I’m so thirstyy~” You looked at him and pouted, hoping he would maybe have some soda or water for you.

“A-ah, yes I do...” he stuttered a bit, seemingly nervous about something. He shuffled over to a mini fridge near his desk and brought out a cooler bottle. “Here, I made this sweet tea yesterday and you can drink from it...” Idia handed you the cool bottle and you observed it suspiciously. He was starting to feel his breath hitch and wondered if you had caught on.

“Hm~? Drinking from the same bottle already? So intimate!” You teased him, lightly elbowing his side. “Well, here goes nothing.” You tipped the bottle into your mouth and the tea tasted like sweet peach, with a slightly bitter aftertaste.

“Hm, it’s... interesting. What kind of tea is it?” You inquired, looking at the contents and sniffing it.

“I-it’s a recipe I found online! It looked good so, I decided to make it, I- I thought you would like it...” he shyly put down his head, trying to hide his suspicious nervousness from you.

“Okay... well it’s pretty good! I’ll drink some more, thanks for thinking of me~” you said as you gulped down the drink for a few more seconds. “Mmh! I think that cooled me down, let’s play more rounds!”

Idia looked back at you and sighed in relief. “Y-yeah, let’s do that.” He didn’t know how long it would take to work but at least he could distract his nerves by playing some games.

~~~~~

You started to sweat and feel hot. Unbearably hot. You cleared your throat and pulled off your cardigan and folded it to the side, but it wasn’t enough. The heat spread from your head, to your torso, and to your lower regions. Feeling hot and a deep... itch that you couldn't quite reach, in your crotch, you decide to change the position in which you were sitting, from crossing your legs to having them right underneath you, to feel some sort of friction in that area. You could feel yourself blushing intensely while the blue haired man next to you was still immersed in the game you both were supposed to play.

Watching him, you couldn’t help but notice the way his fingers moved on the controller, his thumbs and pointers expertly moving across it. You started thinking about how they would feel playing with your nipples and clit - wait. ‘What am I even thinking about?! Snap out of it!’ But, you also couldn’t help but think about when you were close to beating him during a round, his voice changed to a lower, frustrated one, and he even let out a little growl. Even now you noticed the way his eyes were so glued to the monitor with a small scowl on his face. Thinking about that sent throbs and heat to your growing wetness.

WINNER: PLAYER 1!

“Fuhehe, I knew I could beat you again~ but for some reason it felt like you weren’t trying as hard this round.” Idia put down his controller, finally took a glance at you, and his breath was caught in his throat.

Your (s/c) body was covered with a layer of sweat, cheeks burning and your eyes looked glossy. You were also panting slightly, rubbing your legs together softly to try to create more friction. “A-ah,, hey... do you think you could lower the temperature in here? It- it’s getting really hot. Maybe I could have more of that cold tea?” You breathed, trying to sound more stable than you were.

Idia was dumbfounded for a second and totally forgot you had drank the tea that he mixed with the aphrodisiacs. He gulped as he leaned closer to your face, observing you. “Is... is there anything else I can help you, w-with?” Idia placed a hand on the floor near your thigh and watched as you tried to scoot away from it.

“D-don’t do that... it’s...,” you whimpered, back now touching the side of his bed as you leaned away from his touch. Since when did he smell so good? His scent radiating from his proximity sent tingles across your body.

“Do what?” Idia experimentally reached out to touch your arm, fingers grazing your back slightly. You couldn’t fight back the moan that slipped out of your mouth. “Haah~ I-Idia...” you breathed, looking at him with pleading eyes. You really weren’t planning on doing anything with your new friend, so why was your body disobeying your mind?

“Y/n... you know you can tell me if there’s a-anything you need.. I’ll help you.” Idia’s eyes were still wide and the way he looked at you made you start craving. You wanted him - no, you NEEDED him to touch you more. You never really thought about it, but, Idia really was attractive. It’s not because of your hazy mindset that you realized it, but the way the blue lights illuminated his pale skin and make his hair almost glow, you were just focusing on it more. He was... cute.

“I-...” you started, looking down at his hand on your arm, and then back at him. Staring at his lips, you felt your arms move around his neck as you pulled him closer. Your lips smashed against each others messily and you released a soft whimper against his mouth. The reality hitting you, you moved your head back suddenly breaking the kiss. Your body was still hot.

“F-first...” Idia was stuttering. “First... kiss...” Idia stared wide eyed at you, lips still trembling. He blushed and turned away, his brows tilted upwards as if he were troubled.

“Oh, oh god, I’m so sorry....” you breathed out, scared you had fucked it up with your friend.

“Haah.. more...” his eyes suddenly turned back to you, seemingly darker than before. “I want more of you, y/n...” with that, he brought his lips to yours again and moved them sloppily against your own. He even took the liberty to bite your bottom lip with his sharp teeth, causing you to yelp. Idia used this opportunity to shove his tongue past your mouth and moved it against your own, causing you to moan in pleasure while you could feel your panties starting to drench.

Idia pulled away from you, cheeks tinted pink. Both of you panted for breath, your clothes now feeling sticky due to sweat. He scanned your blushing figure and saw an opening of your skirt that had shown off your lacy panties. Idia gulped and dove his head towards your clothed pussy, breathing in the essence and shuddering loudly, which made you gasp.

“Idiia, no... we, we shouldn’t...” you whined. But you could feel your body was not agreeing with your words. When the tip of his nose grazed your clit you bucked your hips against his head, letting out a moan at the contact.

He lifted up your skirt to your waist so he could see your facial expressions. Suddenly, his wet tongue experimentally slid up your clothed pussy, piercing yellow eyes locked onto your glazed over eyes. You shrieked at the sensation and felt embarrassed that he could get you like this, and you were still wearing your panties.

“Hhn, you wore these for me, didn’t you..?” Idia said, which made you blush. “No, I- I didn’t...” you muttered weakly, trying to avoid his gaze

Idia’s grip on your thighs suddenly got tighter and he looked up at you with furrowed brows. “Don’t lie to me, kitten. I know you want me, like how you did on the night we met, on your stream.” Idia firmly told you. It seemed like it was more like he was convincing himself. "N-no Idia, I... I don't want to-" you started, until you were interrupted.

Idia’s teeth bit suddenly into your soft thigh, causing it to bleed a bit. You knew it would leave a big mark later. “AH!! F-fuck!!” You grabbed onto his blue hair and felt your pussy clench onto nothing. Why, why are you enjoying this? It was like Idia’s personality had changed, from the shy person you met outside his dorm to a more possessive and rough one. You were a bit scared of him but why was he making you feel so good?

You didn’t have time to think as you felt him move the fabric of your panties to the side so your drenched cunt was fully visible to him. He stared in awe and took in everything - the shape, size, and how wet you were. You brought the back of your hand up to your head and panted with embarrassment. “Idia... mmh...”, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. Your body was still wanting more and after your mind was fighting the feeling so much, you decided to let it be. “Please...”

Idia met your eyes and saw how glossy they were. He lifted your body onto the bed so that you were now lying on your back while he was still in front of your crotch. You softly breathed in and out, causing your chest to rise and fall in your sweat soaked top. He snaked a pale hand under your shirt to grope your breast in your lacy bra, cold fingers sending shivers through your hot body. Idia couldn’t resist any longer, he suddenly shoved his wet muscle onto your pussy with fervor. You gasped and threw your head back onto Idia’s plush pillow, and shoved your hand on the back of his head pushing it deeper into your legs. Idia couldn’t contain himself and moaned into your heat, sending vibrations through it. “Oh- aaanh~ Idi-aaa~....” you sighed and whined. He took this opportunity to lower the cup of your bra below your breast and pinch your pert nipple in his fingers.

“Fuck~!” you screamed, feeling hot tears flowing down your face. Your body couldn’t take it much longer. Your core was building a familiar sensation but it was all too overwhelming and coming too fast. “It feels so good!!” You squealed, squeezing your thighs together so you were caging his head. Idia focused his energy lapping hungrily at your clit and then pushed two digits of his free hand through your wet hole, pumping them in and out. Your panting breaths were becoming shorter with each pump.

“Idia~ I’m close!! I’m gonna cum..!” You looked at him between your legs, and he lifted his mouth off of your cunt for a brief second. He stared into your eyes with his yellow ones, which stared at you intensely, licked his lips, and spoke.

“Cum for me then, kitten. Don’t hold back, cum all over my face.” With that, he dove back in and pumped his fingers into your core and flicked his tongue on your sensitive pearl even faster than before. Idia’s hips were rutting on his mattress, precum wetting his undergarments.

“Oh god - I’m cumming, I’m cumming~!!” You screeched and squeezed his head with your thighs, squirting his face and sheets with your cum. His tongue darted around your pussy licking off your juices. You breathed heavily, riding out your high. It took everything in him to stop himself from cumming right then and there - he wanted to save that for later.

Idia leaned up to where you were and kissed you passionately, and you could taste yourself all over his mouth. You moaned at the taste of your own juices on his tongue. Still exhausted from Idia eating you out, your body somehow craved the feeling of being filled. You sat up and got up from the bed and for a second he was afraid you were getting ready to leave. You removed your drenched shirt in front of him as well as your skirt, underwear, and bra. Still wearing your thigh high socks, he stopped you before you could remove them. “I, I want you to keep those on...” he licked his lips as he stared at your socks squeezing your plush thighs, the mark he made earlier with his teeth was visible and bruising now.

Following your lead, Idia was removing his own garments, tossing his shirt to the side. He was lean, not too skinny but not muscular either, pale all over. He also removed his pants and swung them over to the floor. Idia avoided your gaze as his erection was now very much so noticeable in his boxers, and you could even see a dark spot where his precum had made a mark. You felt your vagina tremble at the sight of it. It’s been a long time since you’ve had a partner and the anticipation was starting to get to you. As for Idia, well, everything was his first.

You knelt down in front of his bed and his legs and reached out to touch the head of his penis through the boxers, making him twitch and breathe out. “Mmh,...” you pulled down his underwear to reveal his lengthy cock. He wasn’t extremely girthy but he made up for that in length. The head of it was a shade of pale pink and dripped with clear liquid. You took some of the clear liquid in your hand and began teasing the head of his dick. Opening your mouth, you also gave it a few kitten licks while you pumped the base. Idia let out a few grunts and threw his head back, causing you to grow wet again.

Idia felt himself getting too close to orgasm which made him grab your head to stop you from going further. He lifted you up again and placed you on his lap, your dripping cunt hovering over his standing cock. Your body was hot again as you stared into Idia’s yellow eyes, a pink haze dusting his pale cheeks. Remembering he was a virgin, you looked at him hesitantly. ‘I- I don’t know, are you sure you want to lose your virginity right now?’ was what you were planning on saying, until he spoke up.

“Y/n... I need you. I’ve been wanting to do this to you for a while. I- I'm gonna put it in...” Idia whispered, panting slightly. As he was lowering your hips, you couldn't say anything as you felt his tip graze your wetness and you whimpered at the feeling. He kept bringing your hips down until you felt him all the way inside, head of his dick kissing your cervix. You threw your arms around his neck and moaned into his ear, causing a grunt from your partner. Not giving you time to adjust, Idia started thrusting in and out sloppily into your hole, squelching and moaning sounds filling the air of his usually quiet dorm.

“Oh Idia, please, pleasepleaseplease-!” You screamed, not even knowing what you were pleading for. Your (h/c) hair was sweaty and you felt your eye makeup starting to run with every tear you shed. Idia’s loud grunts filled your ear, causing your heat to build up.

“*pant* Mmh, y/n...” he paused and started thrusting into you slowly but hard, pulling you back so his forehead could touch with yours, blue hair still frayed in his face. “You have, *pant* no idea... I would masturbate to your pictures every. Single. Night. I jerked off on these sheets and used your photos of you smiling, you weren’t even *pant* n-naked... Does that, *pant* make me a sick pervert? No matter, you're here with me now, and I'm mmh, making you feel good, right?” Idia confessed, yellow eyes staring into yours with infatuation and obsession. You felt your breath hitch in a feeling familiar to fear. He was lovesick. Not the same person you thought you were messaging for the past few days or gaming with earlier. He looked deranged.

“I... Aaanh~!” You were cut off by a particularly hard thrust into your cervix. Idia licked your neck while thrusting into your abused hole. “I’m gonna breed you, kitten. W-wanna see you drip with my cum.. mmh, you want that?”

You were so close to your release that you didn’t even care about what he was saying. “More Idia, more!!” You breathed. Closing your eyes and now using your own hips to grind into his cock.

Remembering a particular position that grabbed Idia’s attention, he lifted you up, dick still hard inside of you. He placed your back on the bed, your head on his pillow while he brought your legs up to your chest. Idia continued to thrust into you, your face now in full view. He held your wrists in one hand above your head so you couldn’t hide your face from his eyes.

“Idia...” you breathed out. “I- Idia!!!!” You felt your orgasm approaching fast while he pounded into you relentlessly. “Haaanh~ I’m close!!” You moaned shamelessly.

“Hnnh, that’s r-right, y/n... mm, cum for me...” Idia breathed out in between his panting. With that, Idia thrusted faster until the knot that was building in your lower regions finally released. “Aaanh~!! I’m cumming, Idia, c-cumming all over your cock!!” Your face contorted into one of full bliss, eyes looking straight into his with your mouth in an o-shape. The walls around Idia’s length clenched tightly, milking him of his seed. Idia came suddenly with a groan, pumping it deep within you while riding out his high. "Fuck, y/n!!"

Idia rolled you both to your sides, his dick softening inside you. You both panted hard as you faced one another. You opened your eyes to find him with his eyes closed, blushing at the sight of your naked bodies still intertwined even after your climaxes. “We, we actually did it...” he whispered and opened his eyes. “!!!!” He made a mildly surprised noise, eyes widening and turning away.

“Eeh?! What’s wrong!?” You said, wondering if something was on your face. “N-nothing it’s just.... I’m surprised we... you.. you’re staring at me... I’m sorry, I’m still not used to people doing that...” Idia said shamefully, darting his yellow eyes to and from you periodically.

You couldn’t help but giggle. “Eek!! Why,, are you laughing at me?” Idia frowned and hid his face in the pillow. “Well.. your personality is different when you’re having sex versus not. It's interesting.” you told him, tracing a finger along his arm.

Idia blushed intensely, throwing his arms around your neck and hid his pale face in your neck. "Mmph..! I-, I like you, y/n..." he breathed into your neck. "I wouldn't be able to handle you doing this with another person so... will you be mine?" Idia pulled back to watch your face as you contemplated.

Idia's words from earlier suddenly flooded your memories. He looked insane when he confessed to his perverted actions and it evoked an uncertain emotion akin to fear. Your body felt paralyzed. But in the moment, with Idia's lightly pink tinged skin and unsure eyes, you had to admit it made your heart flutter, too. "Yes, Idia..."

[ambiguouspuzuma]

In my own time

I hate change. Not the coins, though they clutter up my wallet with the train tickets, receipts and everything else, but the other thing. Flux. Tumult. They're really only other words for death: the loss of what once was, and its wholesale replacement by what is. Time passing is one thing, but tolerable if it brings more of the same - not an ending, but a renewal. Change is the permanent closing of a chapter, in a book you'll never have the chance to read again.

Uncertainty is even worse. The most stressful times of my life - waiting for exam results, the follow up from an interview, an offer on a house - have all come when I couldn't see the future. When I couldn't even predict it, not even in the mundane way we chart the coming of the winter months, the way a dark cloud heralds rain. That feeling of blindness to the danger - like a wild animal in a box, unable to see the way out. My idea of happiness is knowing what tomorrow will bring.

That's why time travel suits me perfectly.

It's expensive, as coping mechanisms go, but I don't know what I'd do without it. I can barely remember those days, before the discovery - back when every day was a new beginning, when life was a long and winding road with any number of horrors lurking behind its corners. A living nightmare. Call me a time travel addict, but I'm never going back to all of that.

As you might imagine, the government were cagey about it at first - they supressed the discovery entirely, outside of official channels, and we only found out about it some time later. Even then, all private use had to be officially authorised. It was only after a few years that the floodgates opened, after they realised it wasn't the instant recipe for anarchy they'd feared.

They tried using it themselves, at first, to see how geopolitical issues would play out, and found it was largely useless. The other side had it too, you see... and so if our lot changed their behaviour because of what they saw, so would every other country in the world, and thus the outcome would change again.

They'd all spend days watching each other's shifting strategies, only to finally learn that they couldn't know the future for sure after all. It was only once they settled on a path, and their opponents likewise finalised their response, that anything was actually determined. The cat's fate would only be sealed if they opened the box and looked. You know, just like how it was before. The old-fashioned way.

It wasn't entirely useless for official purposes, though. Although there was no single future - just a complex web of potential outcomes - the government agencies could use time travel to test things, all decisions being fed into this iterative model, and arrive at the optimum outcome. It's game theory, right? Nothing is certain where other actors are at play, but there's still a right choice that you can make.

Time travel made things... better. The world became more rational, and policies improved across the board. That was especially true for the non-moving parts, external variable like climate change, which world governments could chart and mitigate as required. Anyone could see the counterfactuals, the impact of one policy versus another, and there could be no doubt about the necessity to act. Even smaller scale natural disasters could be anticipated and avoided.

Some industries struggled, like sports betting companies, but none whose loss was really mourned. They rebounded, anyway, once punters realised the same thing that the governments had: if they were looking ahead, so were the players and clubs, and that changed the result. If one team saw they were about to lose, they could change their tactics to avoid making the same mistakes, but then the other side could look into the new future and respond in turn.

In time, clubs set up whole future scouting departments to build them probability models, the likelihood of one strategy being chosen against its chances of success, and a bet on the result would all come down to those odds. Just like it used to. Again, we reverted to doing things the old-fashioned way, and the dust settled on a world that functioned more or less the same.

But that wasn't true for everyone. For me, and others in my position, the discovery changed everything: the end of uncertainty, my anxiety in the face of looming change. The advantages of time travel were pretty much restricted to personal use - with any strategy negated by its opponent, other people remained as unpredictable as ever - but that suited me just fine. I was a nobody, after all. I had no rivals, nobody who would try to shape my path against my will, and I could use it freely without fear of negation. I just wanted to see my own choices, one or two steps ahead.

That's what I do. I look forward, in my own time, to check that nothing really bad will happen. No relatives falling sick. No sudden tragedy. Things that won't change based on my viewing, meaning I can sleep more comfortably, knowing exactly what the morning brings. And, if something bad is written in the stars... well, I'm hoping that the knowledge will take some of the blow. Another day to mourn, at least. To say my goodbyes.

Forewarned is forearmed, they say, and I do feel much happier for it. I'm glad to have a life without surprises - not avoiding spoilers, but welcoming them, because nothing spoils a life like living under a shadow. Not for me, the looming dread of what may come. I have made my peace with the devil I know, and all of that anxiety is gone: I am free to relax, to enjoy my time however I want, even if I already know how that may be. Call me boring, but I prefer that to the alternative.

[beware-of-you-98]

BAU as College Professors AU

*cracks knuckles*

Penelope

penelope is a graphic design professor

she loves teaching kids about the wonders of photoshop!!

hates illustrator and indesign with a burning passion

(the illustrator pen tool can fucking choke for all she cares)

(AND HOW THE FUCK DO YOU PUT THE FRONT AND COVER TOGETHER IN INDESIGN!?!?)

(she really hates both applications sm 😭)

is always reluctant to teach them but does it begrudgingly

(she’s just glad there’s other professors in the department that teach editorial and graphic illustration)

teaches photography!!

encourages the students to be as expressive as they want to be with their pictures!!!

she’ll be just as enthusiastic to see a close up of a sneaker as she is to see a sunset landscape shot

teaches the graphic design studio classes too!!

she always has music playing!!

half the time, her students come into the class and her glasses are all skewed, her hands are covered in paint or glue and some abstract art piece is sitting on her desk

when the students ask her what it is, she just gives the projects human names

“hey professor... what did you make there?” “oh, this?? her name is... pam.... yeah, pam”

she doesn’t offer up any further explination than that

and the students just accept it

her office light is always off

but she has multiple fairy lights in various colors hung up

her office is v inviting!!!

students come to her to vent or to talk about their problems bc the campus therapist doesn’t help all lmao

she always has on the most unique outfits but she pulls them off so well

a ray of sunshine tbh!!

Spencer

teaches major science and math courses

he teaches chemistry but only chem for majors in chemistry

it’s not that he can’t teach chem for non majors

but he sometimes gets too ahead of himself and forgets he’s teaching a course for non majors

it’s easier for him to teach for majors because the students can follow his ramblings better

he teaches upper level math courses and usually only has like three students in those classes

he’ll sit up on his desk and debate with the students for the entire hour about the riemann hypothesis

he gets excited because the students are just as enthusiastic as he is

he is two extremes

he either shows up to his classroom like a half hour early and writes out all his notes on the board so that when the students come in, he can go right into lecture

or he’ll show up two minutes before class starts with his hair disheveled, his tie undone and his expression glazed over and just be like “listen up i woke up late and just downed an entire pot of coffee i brewed with several cans of monster energy—i don’t exist on this dimension anymore”

on those days, he lets his students work on other projects for other classes because he knows it’s not fair to ask his students to focus if he’s not

he helps them with their homework

penelope brings him lunch sometimes to make sure he’s eating

he appreciates it a lot because between lesson plans and grading, he sometimes forgets to eat

he’s absolutely the youngest prof on campus

sometimes even his students are older than he is

but everyone addresses him correctly and respects him bc he’s really chill

his office is a disorganized mess

there’s files and papers all over his desk

and a sculpture penelope made for him (she named that one “roger”)

JJ

psychology professor

she really has a passion for teaching and learning about human psychology

(she may have started to become interested in psychology bc her sister was in the psch honors course before she died)

she comes across as a little hostile and unapproachable tbh

but she’s young

and she’s attractive

and she’s not conveniently what people think a professor looks like

she’ll respect her students if they respect her

she didn’t graduate the top of her class and work her ass off for the degree to not be respected

if there’s any inappropriate comments aimmed towards her or anyone in the class, she kicks the aggressor out immediately

she stands at the front of the room and lectures for the beginning part of the semester

once she’s built a good rapport with her students (and vise versa), she becomes more chill

she’ll sit on the edge of her desk and encourage discussion rather than following a book or a set plan

(she finds it’s more interesting that way anyway)

sometimes her students will show up ten minutes before class starts just to talk with her once they’re comfortable with her

she always answers her emails students send her (queen shit tbh 👑)

some kids in the psych major course playfully call her “mom” because she always asks them how they’re doing and about their week

(she hasn’t decided how she feels about it, but she also lets it slide)

always wears pants suits but cuffs the sleeves to the jackets

her office always smells like eucalyptus because she has a small mist diffuser plugged in

she also has a small fish tank with a beta fish inside (its the appropriate size too!!)

(she let a student name the fish—it’s name is sir bubbles of argon)

she also has a sculpture from penelope (“her name is maxine”)

her desk is very organized and clean!!

there’s a small couch in her office and her door is always open

sometimes, students will come in if they’re having a hard time and need someone to talk to

they know jj is there to listen and she always seems to understand (she doesn’t judge them either)

Emily

teaches three languages, both for majors and non majors

spanish, french and russian

(she’s also quite fluent in arabic and italian and can hold her own if she’s speaking in german or mandarin, but the students don’t need to know that)

she’s actually very intimidating lmao

students are so scared of her 😭

she’s serious af

(she smiles in class sometimes though!!)

(besides, she’s only serious inside the classroom)

(outside the classroom, she might even be as approachable as penelope)

always dressed in expensive black suits, polished heeled shoes with very dark makeup and a “don’t fuck with me” steely attitude to match

she also wears expensive watches

she always stands at the front of the class and slowly paces the entire hour

one time someone decided to fuck off in her spanish 101 class

she didn’t even yell at him, she glared

rumor has it the kid was never spotted on campus again after that

(BOY SHE SCARED HIM SO BAD HE DROPPED TF OUT)

despite that, her classes are some of the easiest to take

one because emily has a way of teaching that helps all students understand

and two because her voice is naturally very easy to listen to

students taking her french 101 are going to leave the class speaking fluent conversational french

she also doesn’t tolerate people being racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, etc in her class

if she catches a bigoted comment someone makes in her class, she kicks them immediately

she brings in her cat sometimes

he’s all black and his name is sergio

(he’s her esa that she brings in when she’s feeling really stressed out)

he’s clipped on a harness and sits on her shoulder or on her desk

if he meows, she accepts it as an answer

it’s the only time the students ever see professor emily prentiss as soft

well

other than the days she has the class watch foreign films because the students can tell emily has a fondness for them

her office is pretty organized like jj’s

instead of it being light and inviting, emily decorated her office on a more dark side

she has a few animal skulls, crystals and other gothic memorabilia on her desk or bookshelf

she has a small cat bed on the corner of her desk that sergio sleeps in

on the other corner is a sculpture penelope made her

(it kinda looks like a crow and emily named it kurt)

really, the only colors in her office are dark, deep purples and the small lesbian pride flag sticker on the back of her laptop

Derek

teaches history classes

but like modern history

from like 1940s to present

he refuses to follow most western history books bc they’re not accurate like at all

in his first year of teaching, the dean of his department made him use a book and he hated every second of it

how accurate could the information be if they portray king tut as a white guy???

he graduated under one of the best historians in the country

he also traveled a lot after he graduated and met a lot of people that had first hand experience with major historical events

that’s really what he bases his teachings off of—first hand experiences and encounters

every two weeks or so, he’ll invite in guest speakers to his classes to talk about what they went through (depending on his lesson plans)

that’s how he likes to teach and learn (bc he always loves to learn new things!!)

this is random, but also he is the type of professor to randomly box jump up onto a desk

he also sits in chairs backwards and has a more laid back style to teaching

his exams are based on what the students can learn from history rather than the information itself

he’s always dressed super casual!!

solid color, short sleeve button ups are a favorite!! (no tie)

he gets along with all the students

he’ll talk to the athletes about their games but sound just as enthusiastic and genuine talking with students who are majors in fine arts about their projects

he’s just a v down to earth professor tbh!!

he brings in clooney so much

like... every friday

it’s just another bonus of taking his history classes!!

he and penelope are dating

his office is full of sculptures she makes for him 🥺

he drops by her graphic design studio class with clooney to help out or even to just watch

he’s supportive and encouraging of penelope and her art!!

other than the sculptures penelope makes him, his office is a bit more disorganized than jj’s or emily’s, but cleaner than spencer’s

he has a few papers scattered on his desk but mostly he’s a little more put together

his office door has a small basketball hoop attached that he plays around with if he’s bored (and if penelope is busy)

both he and penelope have a dog bed in their office and water bowls for clooney when he comes in

Hotch

law professor

is the most intimidating professor on campus

like

seriously

if students think professor prentiss is intimidating, they haven’t met professor hotchner

he stands in the front of the room and goes over his lecture without pausing or asking questions

his voice is naturally low and intimidating and he actually never smiles

his attire and appearance is always so professional

suits

ties that are tied so tight, they look like they’re choking him

shoes so polished, he can see his reflection in them

hair always styled neatly

pants and jacket are always wrinkle free

his classes are difficult

not just because of the subject matter, but because he has a very organized, straight forward method to his teaching

students wouldn’t dare act up in his class—they’d be absolute idiots to

he’s quiet and reserved outside the classroom

if the others hear anyone talking shit about hotch behind his back, they’re always quick to come to his defense

they actually know hotch

they know he puts on a hardass exterior, but really he’s just a softie

he always lets them hang in his office with him

he listens to spencer’s ramblings and is extremely patient with him

he has lunch with emily every other day

even if she’s a pain in his ass 99% of the time, he likes that she sticks around and that he can trust her

he shows up to all of penelope’s art shows

and sometimes sits in on derek’s lectures when he has guest speakers

jj brings him pastries from the coffee shop on campus sometimes

he knows that he can come to her if he ever has anything he needs to talk about

(he never opens up to her but he really appreciates the sentiment nonetheless)

penelope has definitely made hotch a few sculptures

(he keeps them at home, but he does have one of her paintings hanging in his office)

speaking of his office it’s hands down the most organized out of all of them

his desk is so clean besides the picture of his son he proudly displays at the corner

he always has his lights off and his door shut

he seems so unapproachable, especially in class

but sometimes his lecture notes have crayon scribbles all over the page

or a small sock will fall out of his briefcase

and maybe, even for a moment, his serious demeanor falls when he spots them

and it almost reassures the students that he is human

Rossi

actually he’s the only one besides maybe reid i can see being a criminology professor

is a retired fbi agent

and successful author

so like that hasn’t changed from canon

but because he doesn’t work for the fbi anymore, he has absolutely no chill and tells all secrets

he’ll be like

talking to his class about a case he worked on in ‘83

and be halfway talking about details of cases that were supposed to be confidential

he’ll pause and go “oops” but keep talking lmaooo

penelope actually never made him a sculpture

instead she made him a coffee mug she made on the wheel and glazed herself!! (she even made her own glaze bc she’s extra like that)

carved on the side is “world’s best italian dad”

(this is because when emily introduced rossi to the group she was like “yeah he’s kinda like my dad” and now everyone calls him “dad”)

(he loves it so much though and proudly accepts his title)

he loves his mug so much and uses it every single day!!!

he’s the only professor besides penelope that let his students refer to him without the title of “professor”

he gives off kind old grandpa vibes

and that he’s only teaching because he really doesn’t have anything better to do during his retirement

but he’s chill and his class is interesting to take

(plus he really does love to teach)

he’ll ramble on and on about his “golden years” as an agent

he will especially talk a student’s ear off if they come up to him and tell him that they read one [or all] of his books

he writes a different quote on his board every single day

his attire is always business casual

he sits on the edge of the desk or on a swivel chair because it’s comfy

he was doing a lecture on jack the ripper and just pushed himself around on the swivel chair, slowly spinning around the front of the room

his voice kept changing in volume every few words because of him facing the wall and then a few moments later facing the classroom

his students refer to him as a “living breathing meme”

he has no idea what the fuck that means

but he take it as a compliment

his office is empty because he goes home after he’s done with classes lmao

he doesn’t do paperwork

or fuck with technology (he never fucking responds to emails smh)

so he has no need for an office

[honeypirate]

He’s my soulmate

Kuroo x f!Reader soulmate AU

There is no importance with Jeopardy, it’s just something that popped in my head so I went with it. 

You can communicate telepathically with your soulmate, sending thoughts and feelings to them. it’s a skill that develops through time after you hit 17.  it takes a few months for the connection to grow so for the first little while not a lot comes through. So far you have similar songs getting stuck in your head and thoughts will come through quietly. You tried once to send specific messages but you never had any responses to them so you tried to just go about your day, excited with any thought or songs that come through.

(Touch is what strengthens the connection)

♡´･ᴗ･`♡♡´･ᴗ･`♡♡´･ᴗ･`♡♡´･ᴗ･`♡♡´･ᴗ･`♡♡´･ᴗ･`♡

“God y/n I don’t know why you like to watch Jeopardy so much” your best friend, Michimiya, says from her spot in your bed, textbooks surrounding her and notes spread out, across from your matching space that has a small circle where you were sitting. You had gotten up to stretch your legs from sitting so long studying, Jeopardy reruns running on your tv in the corner, “I feel like watching it makes me smarter and I need all the help I can get” you say with a laugh and she rolls her eyes. “You’re doing a lot better. I almost don’t worry about you” she says with a sigh and you laugh more.

The signature Jeopardy song that plays during the final round starts and you can’t help but do one of the tiktok dances that you were trying to learn, usually set to that love shack mix but now set to this slower pace, you hit all the correct moves after days of practice and when the segment ends on the tv you bust into giggles with Michimiya, falling to your knees by the bed and wiping the tears from your eyes from laughing so hard at your stupidity. “Your crackhead energy is why we’re friends” she says as she catches her breath, holding her stomach. 

His game was flawless, his receives were perfect, but his team couldn’t help but be so damn annoyed with him. “Oh my GOD if YOU DON'T stop humming that damn song I’m gonna PUNCH YOU”  Yamamoto shouts from across the gym “calm down” Kenma says and Yamamoto turns back to him “HE'S BEEN HUMMING THE JEOPARDY SONG FOR DAYS NOW! I CAN'T TAKE IT.“

“Take a lap Yamamoto and relax!” Kuroo says with a laugh as he bounces a volleyball on his forearms “and I’ll stop humming the song… for now” he laughs again as Yamamoto groans but nonetheless follows orders

You were handed your exams but you’re too afraid to look, if you fail this one you’ll have to stay here and won't be able to help with the training camp. You shove it in your notebook, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at the score. you’ll just wait, you’ll ask someone else to look first. Once your class ends you hurry out to the gym as fast as you could, hopping the last few steps of the stairs and holding your backpack down as you run. 

“Y/N! Did you pass?!” Tanaka shouts as you run through the door, leaving your street shoes by the door you run over to him, your feet sliding across the wood floor in your tights, “Tanaka please, I haven’t looked, you gotta tell me” you say in a rush, holding out your notebook. He laughs and takes your notebook from your hands, his eyebrows furrow as he opens it, looking over your test inside the flap, he sighs “oh I’m so sorry Y/n..” your heart drops “..no” you say and he starts to giggle “i’m so sorry that you’ll have to deal with us for two days at camp!! YOU PASSED!” you gasp and then laugh, punching his shoulder “Tanaka you ass!” you take your notebook back and look at the score, pride filling your heart, you did it. You feel amazing. “Kiyoko! Yachi! Our girl’s coming to camp with us!” Tanaka says with tears in his eyes walking toward Kiyoko with his arms out for a hug, Kiyoko walks under Tanaka’s arm, ignoring him and walking over to you “we knew you’d do it” she says with a smile patting your arm, Tanaka getting comforted by Noya in the background.

That night as you packed your bags you closed your eyes, thinking hard about your soulmate. “I don't know if you can hear me, but I passed my exams. I am so happy and I hope you are having a good day as well” 

Kuroo stopped in the middle of his sentence, his phone call with Kenma forgotten about for the time being, as your voice drifted into his thoughts, it’s been a week since he last heard anything from you other than Jeopardy or vines you have on repeat in your head. He hasn’t even seen the vine that goes ‘a potato flew around my room’ but he knew that song was stuck in your head for four days. Your voice fades from his mind and he registers Kenma saying his name repeatedly in his ear “sorry what was i saying?” Kenma sighs “we’re talking about camp tomorrow” 

“So this is Nekoma High” you say as you exit the bus with the team, two players standing waiting for you as you arrive, one tall, handsome, albeit cocky looking, with dark hair that reminded you of a rooster, the other gave you the impression he was like Tanaka, who was currently was pointing out a nearby tower with Noya and getting excited thinking it was Tokyo tower. “Woah is that?” Noya exclaims “i think it is!!” Tanaka answers him, when they spoke at the same time “the sky tree!” they were so excited you knew right then and there they shared the same one singular brain cell. 

 “those poor idiots” you think to yourself as you look at them. “No that's just a regular old steel tower” says one of the boys, you turn your head seeing the tall one holding his stomach in laughter.

You make your way around to stand by the other girls to see if they knew who these two were ``hey who is the tall one?” you whisper at Kiyoko she leans in close to your ear and whispers “Kuroo. Their captain. The other being Yamamoto ” you look over at him “Kuroo…He is really cute” you think with a smirk and then blush as he makes eye contact with you, his eyebrows raised as he first sees you, almost like he heard you say his name. 

Really cute…” the last bit of your thought echoes quietly in his mind in a voice he is semi familiar with, from your voice singing songs in his head, your laugh that comes through sometimes. Of course he didn’t know it was you yet, he looks up and notices you staring at him, “who is she?” he thinks to himself, barely catching Yamamoto talking about how jealous he was that Karasuno has three girls! One sexy, one cute, and one beautiful. “Take a look, Tiger Head. behold the glory of going to Karasuno high!” Tanaka says jumping in front of you and the girls.  You were so beautiful, he would be blind to think otherwise, but he quickly pushes the thought away, focusing on the rivalry and not the pull he feels to go to you, continuing his conversation with Daichi. “Lets go” Kiyoko says and you all just ignore Tanka and the Tiger head, walking around them and going on ahead.

After getting settled in the room you were sharing with Kiyoko and Yachi, you three made your way back to the gym, your thoughts stayed fixed on the captain. You maintain the water bottles and chat with the other managers as your team warms up. 

Your body was acutely aware of where Kuroo was at all times. You could look up to where he was at any given moment, like a small vibration is your body pulling you in his direction, you tried your hardest to push that feeling away. You had a soulmate, you knew his inner voice and got some of his thoughts from time to time. He loved alternative music and hated this one commercial that comes on the radio for cat food. The jingle getting stuck in his head always came with a feeling of annoyance every time it came into your head. just because the connection wasn’t strong yet didn’t mean you could like someone else! 

You felt semi guilty about feeling this way, feeling like you would like nothing more than to talk to someone who isn’t your soulmate. You tried to forget about it. To just get through this camp.

 You watch as your boys do their penalty lap, you zone out, the Jeopardy theme song going through your head and you chuckle to yourself at how dumb it is. “I swear to GOD Kuroo if you don't STOP with the Jeopardy song already I’m going to quit volleyball and I mean this” your eyes flash over to where the Nekoma team is playing, your eyes immediately landing on Kuroo who is laughing at Yamamoto. “Wait,” you think to yourself,  His eyes flash to you and he cocks his head at you with a smile. You mouthed the word “Jeopardy?” and raised your eyebrows in a questioning manner. 

His cheeks flush, your questioning eyes on him made him feel slightly embarrassed for some reason, he just scratches the back of his neck and shrugs with a smile at you. You smile and shake your head slightly, it couldn’t be him, it’s just a coincidence.. it had to be. You break eye contact with him when Kiyoko gets your attention, needing help with something. He watches as you follow Kiyoko out of the gym, smiling back at you when you turn back to look at him with a smile before you exit the gym.

 He stays looking at the door, a smile on his lips, until Yamamoto hits him in the side of the head with a volleyball “you’re being creepy” Yamamoto says and Kuroo scowls “ I am not being creepy! I’m just being nice” “yeah whatever” Kenma says, not really caring about whatever was happening “just toss the ball” 

You cheer for your boys while keeping an eye out on the rest of the teams you could see, making little notes in your notebook about moves you see that your team could implement and do better. Writing down things you wanted to talk with Kiyoko about later. Your notes were very organized and split into sections on your paper. You rejoiced in your heart when Kageyama and Hinata made it on time for the last game, cheering outwardly when they won. “Nice one guys!” you yell and begin to discuss plays with Kiyoko. 

When your voice rang through the gym his body erupted in goosebumps.  What a weird reaction he thinks, he shakes his head and gets back to his own team. 

You stay behind for a few moments, watching the Nekoma game, watching Kuroo especially. You couldn't drag your eyes from him, he was beautiful and he played beautiful, if anyone noticed, and by god Kiyoko and Kenma both had, you had stars in your eyes for that captain. 

“Y/n let's go” Kiyoko says and you nod “of course” you respond and follow her and the rest of the team out of the gym, Kuroo catches the sight of you disappearing out the door, frowning at the reaction he had in his chest, a longing he didn’t understand. 

You ended up getting to shower later at night, you got distracted talking to some of the other managers and when you went back to your room you found the other girls already back from the showers ``sorry guys, i’ll be quick and come in quiet if you go to sleep” “don’t worry about it y/n. I'm sure Saeko will be back late since she went out.” Kiyoko says and you nod with a bow before hurrying out of the room and down the hall to the women's locker room. 

Okay, running down the hallway in the dark was probably a bad idea, but in your defense you assumed everyone was in bed already. You did not expect to jog face first into someone.

 Your face hits someone's chest, you know it is a man because of how he smells. Like clean clothes and mint. You hit your butt with an “oof” quickly picking your clothes up from the ground and shouting “I'm sorry!” the man chuckles and crouches down, picking up your shirt handing it to you, “hey don’t worry about it” his voice is soft, sending tingles down your spine and you look up into his face “Kuroo!” you say in shock and he chuckles some more, taking your hand and helping you up. Now that your eyes have adjusted to the dark hallway you can see him now, wet hair slicked back and a towel around his neck, a small nervous smile on his face lit up from the outside light through the window, “I don’t think we've met yet but yes, I am Tetsuro Kuroo” he holds out his hand to you. 

Your belly fills with butterflies when you take his hand, giving it a firm shake, “Y/f/n Y/l/n. It's nice to meet you” you smile up at him and his chest tightens, you are so beautiful he hardly knows what to say. “Are you okay?” his voice was soft, nervous, he tries to hide it by clearing his throat “yeah i'm okay. How's your chest?” you feel bad for hitting him so hard and before you realize what you’re doing your hand is already on his chest, softly smoothing down his shirt and feeling his muscles through the thin fabric. He chuckles softly and your hand stops above his heart and you feel your cheeks flush with heat at your actions ``my chest is fine. Don’t worry about me.” you hesitantly look back up into his eyes “uh.. Sorry” you say quietly and go to drop your hand but he places his over yours quickly “it’s okay” his lips never moved, his mouth in a small smile as he looks down at you, you didn’t notice that his voice came into your thoughts. 

You stayed like that, standing in the dark, smiling at each other with your hands together on his chest. You could feel his heartbeat strong under your palm, your heart racing as hard as his, you felt like the world stopped for you two. 

The sound of footsteps pulled you both from your bubble, you dropped your hand and you both chuckled softly, when Kenma appeared in the dark you took it as the perfect moment to slip away, quietly running down in the opposite direction to shower and pretend like that moment never happened. 

The next morning you were watching the team warm up, “How do you think we will do with their new player, Lev?” Kiyoko asks you and Yachi as you sit on the sidelines together, “I don’t know, Hinata’s quick attack works great but I feel like it’s nearing the end, these teams are getting better at combating it since Hinata doesn't aim at all with his eyes closed and Lev is t a l l”  you watch them warm up with your hand on your chin, chewing your lip. “their attack is really amazing though” Yachi says, sending heart eyes towards Hinata. You chuckle at the sweet girl’s obvious crush.

At first he thinks the laugh is in his head, a familiar sound he has heard many times. He’s almost convinced it’s in his head but then his gaze is drawn to your sweet smile as you laughed at the girl beside you. “Her laughter is so sweet” Yamamoto says with a sigh a smile, Kuroo slaps the back of his head “focus on the game” he just got mad at him for paying attention to you but he can't seem to stop looking at you himself. It’s just a coincidence your laughs are similar.

“y/n it seems Kuroo can’t stop looking at you” Kiyoko says and you chuckle again, your face flushing as you remember the night prior, you try to inconspicuously look at him but fail when you make eye contact with him. You raise your hand in a small wave and he blushes with a chuckle before he raises his hand, waving with his fingers. The butterflies in your chest will remain for the rest of the day. 

You look at your notes, a thought coming through so easily, stronger than before, “She's so beautiful. But I don't want to think about that. I have my soulmate, she’s here, in my thoughts. why can’t I get this girl out of my mind though? Just focus on the game” your body floods with tingles. That was the clearest thought you’ve ever got. “if I can hear you can you hear me?” you think back, not noticing Kuroo across the gym practice serving the ball and missing it at thelast second, the same second your voice entered his head. 

“You’re here?” His voice enters your head, its so strong instead of it seeming far away or weak like usual. Kuroo’s laugh fills the gym followed by remarks from several members of his team but all of that seemed so far away compared to your soulmate connection. “How did the connection suddenly become so strong?” you think back and immediately get a response “I don't know but I am not complaining”  his excited laughter and joy fills your thoughts, and you feel his energy flood into you as well “me either” you say back and then the volleyball game begins “talk more later?” you ask him in your thoughts and he sends back “definitely”  why did his voice sound so familiar? 

The game ends, Karasuno taking another penalty lap as you go to refill water bottles. “You still there?” his voice makes you smile “of course” you send back “Now that the connection is open I don't know what to say” his chuckle in your mind makes you feel deja vu, where had you heard it before. “Should we tell each other our names?” you ask and put the filled bottles back in the holder,  walking back to the bench with a smile on your face.  “Yeah that makes sense, my name is Tetsuro” you freeze, your eyes flicking over towards Kuroo who was talking to Kenma about something, his cheeks were flushed but that could have been from the game. Is that why his voice in your head sounds familiar now? Is that why you feel so drawn to him?

Your thought was gentle back to him “Tetsuro...Kuroo?” you watch him, watch the shock that went through his expression, heard him laugh nervously as his voice came into your head “do you know me?” it sounded nervous, you watched him with a smile, “i know of you. Mr. Captain of Nekoma’s volleyball team, tall, incredibly handsome, has rooster hair.” you watch his expression, his smile on his lips, his blushing cheeks, he was gorgeous, now that you knew who he was it made sense why you connected with him from the start. “Are you going to tell me who you are?” you look away from  him when you see him turn towards you “I will. After your camp is over. Don’t want to mess you up or anything” 

You glance back at Kuroo who is about to start another game and you find him looking right at you, Kiyoko did tell you that he is a highly observant person.  He raises his eyebrows and you hear his voice in your head “and do you happen to be at this camp too?” he asks and you can’t help but grin at him, you felt like you couldn’t hide anything from him, your previous plan of teasing him is now out the window as you bury your face in your hands, your cheeks feeling warm against your fingers, a smile on your lips. “Focus on your game Tetsu” you say back to him “you are so unbelievably adorable” you look back up at him through your fingertips and he laughs out loud before waving at you. You drop your hands and smile shyly, waving back at him. “What will you give me when we win this game? A kiss?” you scoff “you’ll have to win to see” he laughs and winks at you before turning his attention back to his practice game. “Are you paying attention?” Kiyoko says and you turn back to your game “sorry! I am now!” 

The moment his game ends you can feel his eyes on you, after everyone’s had some water “would you mind..” his voice comes through softly, you can feel how excited he is, how antsy he is, your feelings mirrored back at you “where?” you glance over at him, standing next to the wall with his teammates cooling down, he pushes off the wall, saying something to his team before he is headed in your direction, never taking his eye off you “meet me in the hallway” you nod and then turn to Kiyoko “excuse me for a second” she nods and you stand, walking out to the hallway, Kuroo right behind you. 

The moment you’re alone he takes your hand and pulls you to his chest, taking a deep breath with his face buried in your hair “hey” you say softly into his chest, your hands wrapping around his middle and holding him close despite how sweaty he was, his sweat actually smelled... nice? You couldn't explain it. It just felt right. “My girl” he says and pulls back just enough to look into your eyes “so what is my prize for winning the game?” he asks and you laugh “am I not enough” he laughs with you “you are a thousand times more than enough and probably too good for me too. But I can't lie, I’m dying to kiss you” your cheeks flush “then do it” you whisper and move your hands to his neck, standing on your tiptoes to get closer to him. His hands move to cup your cheeks and he blushes as he leans down slow, closing the distance between you both. 

“Is she tongue kissing the enemy?!” Tanaka shouts behind you, causing you and Kuroo to separate quickly, looking over at your team who just came out into the hallway. You blush and go to explain but before you do Daichi is herding the team the other direction. “Mind your business Tanaka. y/n we are leaving in ten minutes” you laugh embarrassedly “okay i'll be there in a minute”

Kuroo takes your hand and pulls you into an empty room “I don't want you to go” he says with a laugh and you  nod, wrapping your arms around his neck “me either” you whisper and look into his eyes as you close the distance, pressing your body against his and he holds you tight to his chest, a blush rising on his neck and cheeks as his eyes flick down to your lips for a moment “but I’m sure we will figure it out, plus i’ll be back with the team for the summer camp as well” he nods “you’re right” his voice, you realized, was in your head again, your eyes flutter closed as his lips finally connect to yours, you can feel him smile against you and your body feels electric as tingles run from your head to your toes, you felt as though you were weightless. A soft sigh exiting your lips has him licking your top lip, taking your chuckle as a good sign to rub his tongue gently against yours, you moan quietly and his heart races, his stomach knotted with butterflies and electric sparks running down his spine. 

You bite his bottom lip and pull back a little before kissing his chin and the pepper kisses down across his jaw, pulling yourself tight against him as you kiss his neck “I have to go, they might leave me” you whisper and he groans, half in protest against you leaving half because you started to suck a small part of his skin on the side of his neck. 

When you were satisfied with your handiwork you pulled back, kissing the hickey softly before finally pulling away from him “something to remember me by” you say with a cheeky grin and turn to go, he laughs and grabs your hand, pulling you back to him to give you one last kiss. “Be safe, send me” he taps your temple “your phone number, tell me when you get home” you nod and smile, your heart bursting at the seams with happiness “I will Tetsu. Don’t worry” you kiss his lips once more, looking into his eyes for a few seconds, before forcing yourself to open the door and run down the hallway towards the exit and the bus that is taking you back to Karasuno. 

The whole team looks at you with raised eyebrows and silence as you walk on the bus, running your hand through your hair, panting from running all the way there, “what?” you say with a laugh, your cheeks flushing with slight embarrassment as you make your way to an open seat seat by Yachi, “he’s my soulmate”

If you like soulmate AUs check out my Tendou one here and be sure to reblog if you like it ♥️

[perpetuelledaydreaming]

Illicit affairs -Chapter 7

summary: y/n is done with bullets and would like to live in timeloops; plus, she has an honest talk with peter for the first time in forever. Both felicia and peter can climb walls, interesting. 

Listen to: Lights up- Harry Styles & Woman- Harry Styles

word count: 14.3k (long chapter sorry)

(author’s note at the end now)

series masterlist

You were the first one to wake-up. Felicia’s legs draped over yours, she was still out cold and you knew she'd had a rough night. Kingpin had asked her to inspect Olivia’s Octavius lab since he had already seen that Hammer’s neutralizers didn’t work. Although you knew that it wasn’t ideal, you didn’t put a fight regarding what she would do, especially after she had told you her mission and had been helping you get more and more information on Kingpin to build a case, although she hadn’t managed to find out what The Prowler had been looking for when they invaded the Compound. You had spent all afternoon and the early night of the day prior reviewing the footage that you had managed to get from the warehouses and tried to identify people and weapons as you could. 

She had been helping, a lot. 

Although Tony still didn’t know much about Felicia and was still somehow upset about what had happened in the Compound (not that he knew what you had been doing, although he suspected it), he had managed to convince Cap to let your research on Frisk (always with a low profile) so when the other Avengers arrived, you could have more people backing your case against Kingpin. 

Much to Fury’s disdain. 

Therefore, although you disapproved of a few of Felicia’s activities, you still waited for her in her small apartment. When she arrived late in the night, taking off her suit and simply plumping into the bed while you peppered soft kisses on her jaw as she fell asleep; you felt somehow okay and happy about what had been going on between the two of you. 

It wasn’t like you were anything official, you hadn’t really discussed your relationship since that day on the rooftop but Felicia had been touchier than before, more caring, asking more questions about your work on Stark Industries that didn’t involve avenging, even asking about Harley and Peter’s friends. At first, you were a bit apprehensive but only because you felt somehow the itch of suspicion that Peter had planted on you, but you tried to push it away and went with the flow, if it meant that it would somehow strengthen your relationship with Felicia, it would be okay, right?

You tried your very best to get up from the bed without disturbing her, making your way to her desk where your clothes had been placed while you waited for her to come back, in the meanwhile you took a pair of sweatpants from her that were a bit tight but you didn’t care. You reached for your phone, noticing Peter’s and Harley’s texts, telling you not to forget that today you were going to review the repulsor technology that Harley had been working on. Plus, today was also your ‘Peter day’, at least that’s what Felicia called it a couple of times. 

It had been around two weeks since the attack on the Compound and things were a bit awkward between Peter and you, to say the least. Peter was hurting and a part of you hated yourself for causing him so much pain, therefore you tried not to bring Felicia up when you were working with Peter and you tried to be a good friend but not as close as you had been days prior. You hated it, you hated acting that way but you didn’t know how better handle what was going on between the two of you, knowing that maybe bringing up his feelings would only harm him more. In all honesty, you felt like you had been avoiding confronting the fact that he had told you that he loved you, you were avoiding trying to see how you felt with his confession while you were also with someone else. 

It would’ve been an understatement to say that it broke Peter’s heart but he also got why you were acting like that, and honestly, after a few days of feeling blue, Peter had decided that it was better to have you as a friend than not having you on his life. Especially, after he recalled how empty he felt when you were gone as if someone had ripped a part of his heart and stole it. Not that Felicia hadn’t stolen you away, in Peter’s eyes. He knew it wasn’t fair for him to be jealous of her, he knew it wasn’t fair for him to frown whenever you would smile at her texts, it wasn’t fair that he sometimes followed you to Felicia’s apartment to make sure that you were okay and then feeling anger bubbling up in his chest once you entered the building and his Spidey senses went off. 

He didn’t know why exactly, but since the dinner, with your family, Peter felt like something was off with Felicia, he had always been suspicious of her and angry for her stupid audaciousness that might put you in danger, but it had gotten worse. As time passed, Peter knew that it wasn’t only his feelings, his jealousy over you but that you had to be careful with Felicia, there was something that didn’t feel right. 

And he hated that he couldn’t even bring it up because he was so scared that he would ruin whatever cold truce you had developed. Neither Felicia nor your feelings for each other were on the table right now and honestly, Peter was scared that he would break your heart. 

He had made you feel as shitty as he was feeling at the moment, even more counting the fact that until recently he had had a girlfriend. Not that the relationship with Gwen hadn’t been doomed from the start, he had managed to catch a few glimpses of Gwen at school but either was her pursing her lips and ignoring him or full-blast giving him a nasty comment under her breath, it had been lovely, but either way, he knew he wasn’t entitled to tell you anything. 

So, he remained quiet, enjoying the days that you spent with him, brooding when you had to go to meet with Felicia and hoping that someday, you would finally be able to comfortably talk about Peter’s “I love you” without fear or anger or regret on your eyes, and the same went for him. 

While you, more often than not, still thought about it and something was telling you not to keep it in, unless you weren’t ready. And especially if you were around Felicia. 

“Where are you going?” you heard her silvery voice coming from the bed as you finished putting on your pants and turned around to see her. 

She was sprawled on the bed, hair a mess as well as lipstick smudge. She was only wearing a tight long sleeve shirt that she had decided to wear under her suit because of how cold New York was turning, otherwise, she was wearing a black panty that made you blush at the sight of it. 

“I have the repulsor thingy, remember?” you said with a groan as you started to fix the grey sweater vest and the white-collar shirt so you were ready to go, knowing that you had told Peter to meet you near the main campus since you weren’t really far away and he had been early there for an exam. “I think today I’ll be able to put it on my suit”

Felicia’s expression turned grim for a second before she stood from the bed with a smirk drawn on her face while you tried to button your shirt, she almost crawled to the edge of the bed and grabbed your hand, preventing you from finishing. You rolled your eyes at her while you bit your lips and looked at her silently, sometimes you realized, that Felicia did indeed acted like a cat, especially her cat-eye likes that would beam when she got a hold of you as if she had caught you. Felicia got closer to you, sitting up fully on her knees so she was at eye level with you while she played with your hair, biting her plump lips. 

“I thought that I was the one supposed that liked sneaking” she whispered under her breath as her hands brushed your hair, she was so focused on your y/h/c hair, and it seemed like you couldn’t tear your eyes away from her lips.

“I didn’t want to wake you” you stuttered, entrance by her moves. “And I don’t want to be late with this thing, I-uhm, me and Peter are checking it out today”

“Oh,” she said as her eyes finally met yours with a smile. “The one Harley had been working on?”

“Yes” was your only answer when you saw a flash of melancholy on her greyish-purpleish eyes. “What?” you asked her as you took her hand from your hair and began to play with it.

She looked down at your hands playing, holding the other and she smiled softly. “I don’t want you to go” she whispered as she leaned over, pressing her lips to yours in a soft kiss and you complied. 

The kiss was smoother than the usual pecks you gave each other, it seemed more delicate than anything you had done. Her hands quickly went to cup your face as she pulled back for a second. She traced her thumb on your cheek and then onto your lips, pulling your pink lips down for one second as she leaned in again to press her lips against yours. 

It was only lips, dancing with the other in soft kisses as if Felicia was scared that she was going to hurt you and you simply froze, moving your lips against hers in response but you remained still, like if you were ready to do whatever she told you as if you were hers to do anything that she wanted with you. 

And you were enjoying every second of it. 

Then mouths open, lips touching but not moving, and then Felicia’s tongue slipped past your lips, tangling with yours in a game of dominance, more for her than for you because it seemed like you were completely hers. A whined almost escaped your lips as she pulled you closer for one second, tongues dancing with the other before she pulled away completely, laying on the bed with a smirk as if she was trying to search your reaction. 

You stayed still with your eyes closed for another second before you could react to Felicia in front of you, legs open and watching from below you on the bed, smirking and eyes gleaming, waiting for you. You felt your heart rising and your breathing becoming heavier as you watched her, already flustered, you weren’t sure if it had been Felicia’s purpose to turn you on, but if it had been, it was a great strategy. 

Leaving you wanting more. 

You heard her whimpering when you hover over her and leaned down, pressing your lips against hers in a more fervent kiss than before. You pressed her body against hers as you kissed her, more fire as the seconds passed, open mouth kisses as your tongues played with the other and small sounds escaped from your lips. You grounded against her and a moan escaped her lips before she quickly wrapped her legs around your waist. You could feel her sneaky fingers trying to take off your shirt, one caressing the small of your back and pulling you closer. 

She was beginning to take your shirt off and that’s when you pulled away from her one second, looking at her satisfied purple eyes, you knew that look. It was the same look that she had when she had managed to beat you and Peter the first time you met her, and it seemed like today she had already defeating you; how good she was at sucking you in? You didn’t know. 

You backed out of her hold and threw yourself next to her on the bed while she giggled maliciously. 

“It’s no fun when you want to make me late,” you said with a glare while she was still swimming in joy from your reaction to the kiss, giggling mostly to herself. 

It wasn’t like you hadn’t had heavy make-out sessions, but it always stopped before clothes came off and part of you, felt like it was better to wait, although it was becoming harder and harder with Felicia’s efforts. She knew how flustered you became with each moan, she knew how shaky your voice turned when she was on her underwear and it seemed like it was a game for her, she wanted to break you and part of you felt like she was going to soon rather than later. Part of your mind wondered why you wanted to wait longer but the truth was that your mind inevitably traveled to Peter holding you, against a wall, whimpering your name, or to the memory of him yelling that he loved you. 

You needed and wanted to be sure before you did anything with Felicia because it wouldn’t be fair with her. 

You stood up from the bed and quickly button up your shirt and placed the grey sweater vest over you and then your coat. Felicia watched you silently from the bed with a pout and with her eyes glittering mischievousness but you paid her no attention, knowing that she was trying harder to get you back into her bed. 

“I’ll see you later,” you said before blowing a kiss from the desk and walking away, you heard her gasp from the bedroom as you entered the living room with a smirk. 

“No goodbye kisses!?” she shirked, offended at your gesture but you turn around with a shrug. 

“I’m not playing that game” you answered before you walked out of the apartment, placing your scarf on your neck and walking down the stairs. 

It wasn’t a long walk but it felt like a long walk as you recalled Felicia’s eyes and expression as she pulled you in and then as she laid beside you. You liked her a lot and even more as the days passed, but Peter would still sneak into your thoughts constantly. You were aware that you had something with Felicia, but the last few weeks avoiding talking with Peter about serious things and keeping him at arm's length didn’t make you happy, at all. 

It just hurt. 

Peter had told you he loved you and you had walked away. You had been told what you had wanted to hear for so long, and although it angered you a little bit at first, it made your heart skip each time you thought about it, even cry when you remembered how much time you had wasted. Part of you didn’t only felt bad about what had happened because you had feelings for the other, but also because at the end of the day Peter was still your best friend.

At least you thought that’s what compelled you to tell Peter that you should walk to Stark Industries, or maybe it was the fact that his curls were a mess, his cheeks were rosier because of how cold it had become and his chocolate eyes with golden specks seemed to be gleaming along with some dark circles under his eyes that were attributed to studying for his exams even after patrolling.  

“So, you don’t want to go flying?” Peter asked with furrowed eyebrows as you nudge him to walk with you, he was a bit hesitant about spending so much time with you without talking or focusing on something else like, for example, on reviewing information on Frisk, trying to do reverse engineer on Oscorp’s venom so you could do an antidote or simply train together. 

But you shook your head. “I really want to walk if you don’t mind,” you said shyly watching Peter slowly, he watched you softly and he felt like his heart was going to burst from his chest. You looked extremely beautiful for him, flustered cheeks from the cold, eyes a little bit brighter and a soft smile. 

“Not at all”

You walked silently together, shoulders sometimes touching, making your heart lurch on your chest each time it happened. If Peter was any other person, then maybe you wouldn’t be so torn about what was happening. But Peter was different. Peter was your person, he had always been there, he knew you completely and you had been through so much with each other, it would be dumb and useless to simply ignore what was going on and Peter was thinking the same. 

“Are you-

“How are-”

You both stared at the other for a second, stopping midtrack on the path in Central Park that you thought would be a good idea to use since you could cut a bit of walking to Stark Tower. Surprised that you both started talking out of nowhere, you saw Peter blushing while he shook his head. 

“I’m sorry go ahead” he muttered as you both continue to walk. 

“No, sorry, you go ahead” you replied raising your hands in defense but Peter pressed his lips together, refusing to talk. 

“I…” you started; a little bit unsure on how to start a conversation regarding whatever was happening between both of you, but when your eyes locked in with Peter’s you just knew that you could trust that boy with your life. “I know that I have been…”, words stuck in your mouth as you stared at him. 

“Distant? Reserved? Keeping me at arm’s length?” Peter suggested with a smug smirk drawn on his face while you gasped and pushed him playfully with your side, Peter’s body didn’t budge but it was his heartfelt like bursting inside just by the smell of vanilla that always followed you. 

“Yeah, whatever you want to call it” you answer sheepishly, clearing your throat. “And I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for that”

“What for?” Peter asked softly, furrowing his eyebrows, to which you responded with a questioning expression. “I mean, I miss you but I respect if you want your space and I can understand it because I was a little bit of an asshole that day but-”  

“But so was I,” you cut off Peter as you placed your hand over his arm, making him stop walking near a lake in the park. “I wasn’t a good friend that day and I haven’t been a good friend since”

Your fierceness as you talk about your actions made Peter feel his stomach sinking in his chest, you did still care, a lot. Part of him was hurt that you were running away, again but it seemed like you weren’t anymore, he didn’t know if it was because of your new-found force since you came back or if maybe the fact that he had confessed his feelings for you was finally sinking in. 

You were so used to remain silent about your feelings, to keep everything in that sometimes you weren’t even able to process your emotions or thoughts. Peter had come to learn this -sometimes he believed that even more than you- even more for the last few months. He was right at the beginning, you always came back eventually, when you had taken your time. 

He couldn’t lie that it made him happy, but he also didn’t want you to feel guilty. 

“y/n, you don’t have to apologize for wanting space” Peter protested, taking a hold of your hand and you instinctively walked closer to him. 

You felt your heart skip a beat as you watched him carefully. 

You sighed, a bit overwhelmed “I know, it’s just that…” but your words tapered off and Peter could see that your eyes were glassy. 

He quickly pulled you in, you fell into his chest and arms as you had done so many times. Since you came back, you had forgotten how safe you felt when you were wrapped around in Peter’s arms, how you could lean into him, nuzzle into Peter’s chest, and how he would lean into your head, you were home. The last time you had done that was when he told you that he loved you. 

Then Peter took your chin for a second, pulling back and making you raise your head by holding your chin with one hand. 

“Look y/n, I’m still your best friend and I will always be if you let me,” Peter said seriously, still holding you, with an intense gaze that seemed like he could read your mind. “I may not be happy about your relationship with Felicia but it’s only because I’m worried about you. That doesn’t mean that you can’t talk to me about anything you want, girls, your family, school if you decide to go, anything”

You spaced out a bit as you heard Peter’s words, the heaviest feeling on your chest as you reacted to his words because this was Peter, it was everything he was that you had fought so hard to forget: he was kind and he cared about you, even though he was hurt, he was there. 

And it felt like you could tell him more. 

You pulled apart from him and began to walk away, Peter stood there watching you apprehensively. He didn’t know if you wanted to leave him or not, to simply leave it like that, did you got scared?

But then you turned around and raised your chin, signaling him to come. “Are you coming?”

Peter sighed in relief and began to walk next to you silently, your shoulders touching and both of you leaning a bit closer, Peter’s eyes occasionally glancing at you, who seemed to be analyzing something, lips pressed together and a slight frown, like when you were solving a problem on the lab. 

“Y/N, are you-”

“When I was at Oxford last year, no one really knew who I was, some people recognized me but no one bothered me. It was a new feeling and I thought that I was going to feel lonely but it felt kind of freeing?” your voice was softer than before, Peter had to get closer so he could hear you better, he instinctively wanted to wrap you with his arms but he restrained himself, instead simply watching you talk. 

“I wasn’t planning on having friends, I talked to a few people for classes and whatnot, but then I met Charlie” you smirked and slowly glanced at Peter, “They were something else, have you ever met someone so authentic that for a second you doubt that they could be actually that authentic?”

Peter didn’t want to answer, not when you were smiling like that with your eyes shining with memories; he simply nodded. 

“They sat next to me in one class, asked for a pen and we never stopped talking after that”, you recalled the day you met them, they had recently decided to be referred to as ‘they’ rather than ‘she’ and how their eyes gleamed with pride when they corrected you with their thick Spanish accent, was something that you believed you would never forget. 

That was something about Charlie Sanz, they dripped confidence with every glance they gave someone, they were the golden child of the sociology department and you were sure that more than one person in your class had a crush on them. Charlie had a certain shine to their eyes, a certain spark to their step and you felt like you would follow them everywhere. 

You knew for a fact that Charlie wouldn’t be in your life forever, you knew that the somewhat break that you had gotten from your life wouldn’t last long but it somehow made it better. Charlie didn’t waste time either, even more, taking into account they were planning to return to Spain when the semester was over, but it seemed okay with you. The days you spend with them were peaceful and joyful, running from bookstore to coffee shops trying to find an adequate place to study while it rained and you had to run to get there; nights in small pubs where you performed ‘dancing queen’ more times than you could count and getting tipsy enough to end up giggling as you tried to make your way back to their or your apartment; or even small moments, as you touched their dark skin while they read you something from class while you cuddle in the sofa on your small flat. 

“I think there was a certain urgency to meet them, to talk about the deep things because we both knew we wouldn’t be there forever, time was limited. It seemed to be there a time loop that was created; time didn’t matter and just, we could feel like ourselves when we met” you explain to Peter who smiled back at you, a part of you happy that you had someone there. “They knew about you, they knew about my life, they knew that I wasn’t straight or whatever, they knew that sometimes I resented my dad and they never judge me… I felt...part of me felt guilty that I wasn’t so forward with you” 

Peter shook his head. “y/n, that’s on both of us, you don’t need to feel that way” Peter whispered, reaching for a strand of hair that was on your face. 

“If I had been forward, if I felt that urgency that I felt when I was with them, then everything could’ve been so different” you explained to him. Maybe it was somehow the guilt finally eating you up that Peter would’ve done something if you had decided to tell him how you felt or talk about it if you had felt as brave as you usually felt on missions or how you felt when you were with Felicia or Charlie. 

Peter didn’t say anything, but you could see how wounded his expression was. Peter couldn’t restrain himself, he held you, tight, as you shuddered and you curled up against his chest, he screwed his eyes closed and pressed his lips to the top of your head. 

“I’m sorry” Peter whispered but you shook your head. 

“You don’t have to be. It would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one Peter” you admitted but knowing that deep inside of you, a part of you still thought that Peter was somehow the one. “If that wouldn’t have happened, maybe I would’ve been silent my whole life and… I would have been afraid to be me” 

Peter looked hesitant, but he still spoke and even met your eyes. “So, that was the first time you felt fully like yourself? Fearless?”

The word made goosebumps appear on your skin because that was the way you would describe someone like Felicia but not you; nonetheless, going back to that moment when you were without responsibilities and left to be who you were without someone judging you, then you realized you could be as fearless as Felicia was. 

“When I felt fully like myself? Yes”, you answered back, watching his reaction but Peter gave you a small smile. “We only kissed a couple of times, knowing that at the end we had very different lives but what we share, they gave me the jump that I needed, they mean a lot to me”

Peter sighed, a part of him washed in relief as he realized how much you had shared with him, how deeply you had gone to tell him what had happened when he wasn’t with you, how you had become the girl that was right in front of him: more confident in all senses. But then, he recalled Felicia. 

“And what does Felicia mean to you?” Peter asked, his face already blossom into multiple shades of red as he cursed himself for not being able to hold his tongue. 

You felt like someone had placed cold water on you because you weren’t even sure. Charlie might have taught you how to be fearless but Felicia was the embodiment of that, you admired her deeply and cared for her too, Felicia was a breath of fresh air for you when you were feeling powerless when you came back to New York, she was like the pillar that held that confidence, that somehow approved it and if the nature of your relationship had only reach friendship, it would’ve been so much easier. But it wasn’t, Felicia hadn’t declared that you were exclusive but somehow it felt like you were since that night, she proved that she cared about you but it felt like there were more steps you needed to take for it to be as real as how you felt. 

But before you could even answer Peter, your phone began to buzz, breaking Peter’s gaze on you. 

“Hey, where are you?” Harley asked on the phone, the tension on his voice palpable as you heard Tony in the back mumbling something about how he should’ve taught you to be punctual when you were younger. “We are waiting for you,” Harley said. 

You rolled your eyes, while Peter was still looking at you and hearing the conversation. A bit disappointed that he hadn’t managed to get an answer, he would’ve like to know what was it about Felicia that pulled you in, but part of him saw the doubt on your own eyes, which he decided to take also as an answer. 

“We’ll be right there, just give us ten, please” you answered Harley a bit uninterested, and quickly hang up, mentally cursing and thanking them for cutting your conversation with Peter short. 

“They need us?” Peter asked as he placed his hands on his pockets, looking down. 

“Yeah, let’s just go” you muttered and began to walk with Peter again. 

“y/n?”

You turned to see Peter, knowing that he still was waiting for an answer. 

“We’ll talk after work, come on,” you told him, although you knew you would try to avoid answering anything regarding Felicia.  

Surprisingly, it took you exactly ten minutes to arrive at Stark Tower. Maybe it was the fact that your pace was faster than what it had been, hoping that Peter wouldn’t bring up Felicia until you were somehow ready to keep the conversation going but you arrived faster than what you had expected. Peter realized this and remained silent, knowing that when you were ready to continue the conversation, you would say so. 

Tony wasn’t too happy that you had taken so long, neither was Harley that was the one that had to handle your dad and his moods; especially when it came to something as dangerous as the new repulsors weapon that Harley had been working on. See, Tony had developed the repulsors weapons for your suits to the extent that would be best for threats that he thought he would be dealing with, knowing that if he harnessed all the possible power it could turn somehow dangerous. Nonetheless, Harley believed he could do something good through the reinforcement of the ionized plasma channels, make it more potent but more controlled at the same time. Especially since your fights were now not only reserved for normal criminals but criminals with alien technology and even aliens. But also, because he could not only use it as an energy source different from fossil fuels and also to do what Hammer’s tech hadn’t done, which was deactivating the energy that surrounded you. 

“So, basically you are extending the 50-yard radius of the EMP, to what? A hundred?” you asked as you carefully place the repulsors on the gauntlet of your suit, while Harley was with you in the training area. Peter and Tony were behind a small room with glass that usually served for Steve, Nat, or Tony to see how you trained or to do the try-outs of a new thing on your suit. 

Harley smirked. “One hundred fifty and without the minutes it takes the system to reboot if you are on 6% of the power”

You gawked at him and looked back at Tony, who seemed somehow concerned. “And you are okay with this?”

Tony shrugged, not saying anything but you could see that your dad was somehow apprehensive of the technology that Harley had been working on. “Be careful” was the only thing your Tony muttered as he crossed his arms over his chest, watching you intently. 

“Does this work as something other than a weapon?” you asked with a frown at Harley who rolled his eyes. 

“This is only the start, it is a weapon for now but if we manage to see how it goes on your suits, we can deliver kinetic clean energy for hundreds of cities that don’t have the resources” Harley explained as he walked out of the training area, behind the glass where Tony and Peter had already placed themselves. “Also, it can do whatever Hammer was trying to do and much more effectively than what he did, you know this, why you need me to repeat it?”

You shot an annoyed glare at Harley, who simply shrugged it off and closed the door. 

You had decided to be the first one to try it, knowing that if something happened you didn’t want your dad to be injured, especially since he carried Morgan everywhere and she would be devasted if Tony couldn’t hold her anymore if he got injured. You weren’t perse afraid if something happened to you, you were sure that Harley and Tony’s work was impeccable and they had done trial runs already, but still, there was some giddiness as you began to get ready and placed the gauntlet on your hand, hoping that this wouldn’t break your arm.  

Your eyes glanced a moment towards Peter, who seemed more than concerned. Harley closed the door and you look away from Peter, watching your target some yards away from you, quickly you pressed the charm on your necklace and your suit began to spread over your body. 

“Can you repeat to me, why are we letting her do this?” Peter grumbled at Harley who glared at him. 

Tony sighed, his whole body locked up when he saw you turning around and pointing at the dummy that was in front of you. “Keener?”

“She can do this, it’s just a test run and she’s a badass” Harley stated as he crossed his arms over his chest and Peter could sense his annoyance. “You’ve fought alongside, you’ve seen her in action, why are you doubting her?” 

Peter knew it was true. You were confident and more than capable, you’ve fought together since he could remember and although you sometimes did stupid things to complete a mission, he knew that you were one of the best heroes that earth had -hell, the universe-. But he couldn’t stop feeling a sinking feeling on his stomach as you began the countdown to fire the new repulsors. 

“Three, two, one”

The waves of energy that you felt going through your body were something that you didn’t expect, the sheer light that came from the palm of your hand and blinded you was something that you also didn’t expect and neither the deafening sound that banged on the room as the beam of light impacted the dummy. What you did expect, and ended up happening, was how you flew from where you were standing backward and your body hit the wall that was behind you with a force that knocked the air from your lungs. 

You felt dizzy and your mouth was opening, trying to collect all the air that had left your body with small gasps. There was one thing you could hate and was falling flat on your back and feeling like you were drowning, and unfortunately, it was something that happened often in fights. In other times, you were always with Peter in fights, he would run by your side instantly and help you sit up whenever he could for you to get air. 

And just like it was yesterday, he was there with you. 

“y/n? y/n! do you hear me?” Peter scrambled screams made your eyes fluttered open for a bit, he was by you almost instantly but you still couldn’t talk, you were gasping to get all the air that you could on your lungs. 

Before you knew it, Peter tore your mask away from you so he could see you, and then you felt Tony kneeling next to you, pressing one button on the gauntlet part of your suit with the new repulsor and pushing it away from you, there was still smoke coming from it. 

“Are you okay darling?” Tony asked with widened eyes as he checked you, cupping your face. You couldn’t really answer yet, you needed to take more deep breaths but still, you nodded softly, which allowed relief to wash over Peter and Tony. Peter smiled instantly and helped you sit up, you smiled at him as you nuzzle into his chest instinctively and Tony let out a long sigh of relief. 

You pushed away from him a bit and looked at Harley, who was looking dumbfounded where you had fired your shot. The scrawny boy with the sandy hair had a weird look on his face, almost smiling but his eyes were a bit unhinged as he looked around and you notice it, all the lights on the floor had gone out. 

“Did it worked?” you asked and Harley turned to look at you, your voice a bit shaky but with a certain spark to it. Harley gave a light laugh as he turned to see you with bright eyes, the wind coming from outside the building entering through the hole that had formed on the wall so you were able to see the sky from it. 

“It worked”

It was working, and better than what Harley wanted to admit. The rest of the day was spent on the labs, mainly on Harley’s labs as all of you tried to check the energy levels that had been released, as well as how you could stabilize the weapon on your suit and it wouldn’t make you feel like a rag doll being thrown away each time that you decided to use it. Moreover, Tony needed to fix the power on about three floors of the Tower that had been damaged by the repulsor and it took longer than he even expected it, it was working better than Hammer’s neutralizers which made you happy. Even more to know how Hammer would react when he knew that your plan had worked better than his, hoping he would get the news in jail.

The day hadn’t been awkward at all, thankfully, for you, it had felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders from the previous conversation you had with Peter. He was open and understanding, which were basics but you thought it could be harder for him knowing that you were with someone else and that Peter had told you that he loved you; so, you were thankful that the day went well. There was the usual bickering between Peter and Harley for a few minutes before they start tinkering with the tech alongside you. But most importantly, you felt like you could lean on Peter’s shoulders as you read some data from the blast and that Peter felt like he could joke around with you and you would laugh as before, you would be working hands-on with tools and everything and you seemed to be in total sync, sometimes not even talking but gesturing each other lightly. 

It seemed like something, call it universe or destiny, always brought you and Peter back to the same rhythm. 

“We’re going for coffee, don’t wait for us!” you yelled to Harley and Tony who were doing some final touches to the repulsor. Nonetheless, Tony had already decided that you shouldn’t be wearing the repulsor, at least until you did some other trial run and this time in the compound. 

“Bring me a latte, please!” Harley yelled back without looking up as Peter followed you outside into the hall. 

It had become a habit for you and Peter, during his first semester at University, to always go get some coffee after having a hard day at work. It was always the same order: you would get a latte with coconut milk and a lot of sugar while Peter loved a good ol’ cold brew. Somedays, Peter would be waiting for you at your place with your coffee already there alongside a kiss on the cheek, which always put you in a good mood. 

You hadn’t really done it for a while, you hadn’t even been getting coffee since you had arrived from Europe, at least not from anywhere other than your own house so, this was a nice change. Peter and you arrived at the reception; you already had a hoodie on trying to disguise yourself but lightly while Peter walked alongside you. The sun was already setting down, a nice orange and purple coloring the sky while the air grew a little bit colder as you walked through the streets of New York. 

“I don’t know when my dad became such a nervous mess” you chuckled lightly as you pushed your hands on your coat, walking alongside Peter who had been smiling happily at the idea of you two going back to a habit that seemed to have been forgotten. 

“Hey,” Peter complained, with pursed lips, a forced frown drawn on his face while you watched him with a smile. “Don’t blame him, it was scary”

You laughed at Peter, thinking it was somehow a joke but deep down, Peter had been terrified to see how you flew right in front of him, of seeing you lay down motionless on the floor while the wall had a clear crack from the sheer force of the blast. 

You shook your head while your laugh died down. “I was fine, it was fine and it works!” you insisted with a wide smile as you turn left on one of the streets, getting closer to the coffee shop you had always gone to, Peter told you that they had even added new things to the menu. 

 “You literally almost flew through a wall today!” Peter exclaimed his eyes wide as he gestured with his hands, it seemed like he was so serious about it that it only made it funnier to you. 

“Nothing out of the ordinary,” you said playfully, pushing Peter with your side while he rolled his eyes. 

“Obviously” he muttered in response the small smile fading away, his expression a little brim. 

You had always been the more reckless one from the two of you when it came to missions or your suit, Peter was aware of that, and part of him thought that it even came from a deep memory from when Tony had made his first suit. You had been little but the small belief, that years later had died down, that Tony was invincible with his suit, was something that somehow, Peter believed, was still present on your mind. Even more with all the technological advances since that first suit that your dad had originally worked with. Therefore, you were fearless with your suit, therefore today’s little accident (at the end of the day) seemed predictable. 

You noticed Peter’s mood shift and stopped walking, holding Peter’s hand and ordering him to stop. “Why Spidey? Scared of a little repulsor?”

Peter turned around and raised his brows as if he was challenging you about your statement. Nonetheless, Peter wanted to say that the real reason that he had been so worried like he always was, was because he loved you and cared for you deeply. He never wanted to see you hurt.  

He sighed deeply as he looked at you, hair cascading on your shoulders while you looked at him with such innocence as if you didn’t already know how Peter felt about you. 

 “Because…” 

And you saw it, the gleam on his eyes, you knew what he was saying with his gaze and it made your heart lurched on your chest. 

“Peter?”

But he stayed silent, doubting if he said something it could do more harm than good. 

And then, you heard your phone buzzing, you took the phone out of your pocket quickly and a frown was immediately drawn on your face. 

It was Felicia. 

Usually on your Peter day, as she loved to call it and mock it, Felicia would restrain herself from bothering you. You were thankful that she respected your time with Peter although she didn’t like it. She would stay away, simply texting from time to time or occasionally calling to check in but if it happened, then it would be late at night and not so often. So, when you saw her name on the screen, you knew it had to be something important if she was calling you now. 

“Hardy, what-”

“YOU HAVE TO GET OFF THE STREET” the penetrating voice of Felicia, the urgency and fear from her voice caused a shiver to run down your spine. 

You had never heard Felicia like that and it scared you, it caused you to instinctively look around and grab Peter’s hand, who complied, having heard the voice coming from the phone. Peter felt the hairs on his arms raised at the sound of Felicia, his eyes watching your surroundings intently and almost automatically already zipping down his jacket, ready to change if you needed it. 

“What? Why?” you frowned and Peter did as well, hearing Felicia’s startling voice. 

“King Pin called and he said that-”

Before Felicia could continue, Peter basically tackled you, taking you away from the edge of the street and you quickly fell on the floor, your phone dropping hard on the concrete next to you. Your eyes linked with Peter, who was hovering over you with panic flooding his eyes and you looked at him the same way. You didn’t have time to think, and you could hardly move as you watched Peter, trying to understand what he was doing. 

The sounds of gunshots made it now obvious for you, you shuddered at the sounds of the bullets hitting the wall and at the screams of the people that had been walking on the sidewalk next to you who started to run away. Your eyes never left Peter’s as you held onto his forearms as he covered you, it seemed like hours had passed while looking at each other, hearing the bullets hit the reception of the building next to you and the screams that were farther and farther away as seconds passed. 

But then suddenly, Peter winced and hissed in pain, he fell to one side, still covering you but your eyes went down quickly to see his torso: a bullet had grazed his side. It felt almost automatic how you shifted positions with Peter, how you were already flying ten floors up, even if your suit hadn’t covered you completely, and how you were breaking a window and placing Peter onto the building, some people from the offices that were still there watching what was happening began to run away from the windows as bullets began to hit the floor. 

“Stay here” you yelled, at him as you turned around and counted almost twenty men surrounding you on motorcycles or black SUVs, only a few of them were firing but each other had automatic rifles or smaller guns but others seemed to be waiting. 

“HAPPY, put a perimeter and let me know if someone needs help,” you asked your AI as it identified that there were more cars (that seemed to be from Kingpin) coming, much to your dismay. 

You were thankful that you had managed to update HAPPY’S software and reinforce your suit’s protection, it had been since the club when you decided that you hated bullets, especially in large quantities, and decided that you needed to update the force field that usually surrounded your suit. 

Now, the bullets felt as if rocks were being thrown to windows, honestly, small rocks. 

“I’m not shot, it’s just a graze” Peter protested a bit, already feeling that his powers were healing the injury and standing up, ready to fight.  

But you turned around and glared at Peter who already seemed to be undressing so he could get into the actions, but the slight winced as he removed his jacket reinforced the idea that he still had to wait. 

“No! You are hurt and I can deal with them” you stated seriously and before Peter could protest, you had dived again on the street, not caring about Peter’s protests and screams. 

The attack was quite obviously directed only to you, no one else (apart from Peter) had gotten injured as you checked the zone with HAPPY and felt a flash of relief when HAPPY announced that the perimeter had been successfully evacuated. It was more than obvious that you were the target, as you flew the bullets were only following you and so, you insisted that you needed to deal with the familiar annoyance you had always felt with guns. 

You landed on the ground, hard, the characteristic metallic sound of your suit sending shivers down the men's back as more pulled out weapons and began to fire against you. 

“I fucking hate guns” You muttered and with a smirk, you fired the small bullet missiles. 

It was one of your preferred weapons, the small bullet would injure non-fatally your enemies by shooting them in ‘harmless’ body parts, so you could immobilize the threat. It had become one of your dad’s favorite designs, using them a lot when he went on missions to take down Hydra. Therefore, with one swift order, about eleven of the now, numerous men in front of you, were down and groaning. 

You smiled to yourself but then you felt your heart sinking as one of the black SUVs open its doors to reveal the alien weapon that you had fought in the compound, the characteristic purple gleam giving it away and also the size, it needed to be controlled by two people. 

“Shitshitshit”, you muttered under your breath as you tried to fly away but the energy caught you. 

The way they threw you against the wall, was somehow reminiscing of the incident in the compound but now it felt endless and it almost seen like a whole segment of the building was going to fall off if they kept firing you. You could hear the alarms going off on your helmet, the red signs on the hologram in front of you, warning that your suit wouldn’t last much longer. 

“Miss Stark, the nanobots will start to fall off if you don’t get away from the beam of the weapon” HAPPY stated calmly and you rolled your eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah” you muttered as you quickly felt how the energy seemed to be dying down, before you knew it you were free from the beam. You fell one floor down into the street and you could feel a sharp pain on your side but you tried to pay no attention to it and focus on your mission: which were the scrambling guys who were trying to charge the weapon again; you smiled at the fact that it seemed like they managed to fix that yet. 

Before they knew it, you pointed at them with your repulsor and fire. It caused the car to completely fly into the air before falling and blowing up. Many of the men took cover which gave you the chance to stand up and actually start counter-attacking them, although you were facing now alien weaponry too. 

HAPPY tried to take in the numerous attacks, trying to analyze where and how you could make a good move, but honestly, with the number of men going against you and the basic fact that you were in a battle of clashing with an army, you began to fight more like an instinct. You fire beam after beam with your repulsors, causing small explosions and men to go flying away, you tried to dodge every surge of purple energy you could see and it seemed to be working. 

You were already feeling sluggish by the sheer chaos that you had taken on your own but you knew it was part of the job. Most men by now were down, others had even run away on motorcycles, retrieving was inevitable and you felt your pride bubbling up on your chest, that you had managed to do it alone. 

It even gave you a moment to take a much-needed breather and your mind went back to Peter. 

“HAPPY, where’s Peter?” you asked your AI as you took deep breaths, you soared through the sky for a moment and went back up to where you had last left him. 

He wasn’t there. 

“I’m not sure Miss Stark” he mentioned as you landed again on the ground, and tried to look up in the sky just to check if he was there but then you felt small bullets being filed against you. “Oh, and Miss Hardy has been calling you, eleven times to be exact” HAPPY stated as you finished firing against some of the men who were scrambling around and hiding under some cars close by. 

“What?” you said surprised but then felt the blast of a bold of pure energy on your back, tossing you through the sky and smashing you against one of the cars before you landed on the middle of the street. 

You groaned, sitting up a bit with bleary eyes and glance back to where the blast had come from. You saw The Prowler there, holding a large alien weapon on his shoulder and although you couldn’t see his face, you could feel the smugness coming from him as he leaned on the wall and watched you from there. 

It only served to make you feel more irritated. 

“Not today, Satan” you yelled as you stood up and started to fire at The Prowler who quickly dodged your efforts.

You saw that he started to recharge his weapons as he walked towards you, and you felt the sinking feeling on your stomach as you fired repeatedly, the power on your suit going down with each blast that didn’t hit him, and then your stomach dropped as you heard the raw energy coming from the weapon as the Prowler got closer and closer to you. 

You gave a few more tries but he seemed to be too close for you to do anything more than to brace yourself for the impact, but then you heard the familiar twhip! 

Peter had taken more time than he’d liked before he could go down and help you. But you had to take into account that he had been locked up on an office floor with hundreds of people who would watch him jump out of the window as Spiderman and not the injured kid that y/n Stark had left to be safe. A couple of men and women were trying to help him, putting a bandage on his wound although Peter insisted that he was okay and that he needed to get out but none of the adults were letting him go until they were evacuated by a security guard and Peter managed to sneak out.  

Peter slung two webs down, holding the weapon and snatching it away from The Prowler's hands, it fired to the sky but thankfully it didn’t hit any building or you, which was Peter’s main objective. 

“Are you okay? Want me to take over?” Peter said, landing next to you who was already taking a defensive stand to The Prowler, who gave some steps back at the sight of Peter and you together. 

You shook your head; you knew it came from the fact that Peter seemed to always be there protecting you but you felt like you weren’t going to back down now. It didn’t matter that your body, though protected by your suit, was starting to feel the grievances of the fight. It didn’t matter that your energy, both from the suit and your body, was low. It didn’t matter that you’d been knocked down and fired at a lot. You weren’t afraid of fighting. 

“I’m not backing down” you grumbled, causing Peter to chuckle as he fired a web to the building where The Prowler was already waiting for you. 

“That’s my badass y/n Stark,” Peter said, you turned around surprised by his statement, feeling your heart skipping a beat before Peter was already flying towards The Prowler and effectively throwing him backward as he pushed him with his legs before sticking to another side of the building before you blasted The Prowler with another hit. 

If someone could’ve recorded the fight, you would’ve been surprised by how well you were fighting alongside Peter and it seemed like before. You were both fighting at your best level, Peter was webbing the remaining men that had arrived and were dodging The Prowlers attacks effectively. You, even with the time you needed to recharge your suit, were doing even better with hand in hand combat which had improved. Even better, you were the for each other at all time, you were ready to blast someone when Peter seemed overwhelmed as he tried to avoid shots and when your suit needed to recharge and you had to fight and dodge fires, Peter would have no problem of webbing them up and yanking them away. 

It seemed like you were so blended in together that it came to the point where you weren’t even talking through your coms, you simply did your thing. But the Prowler was still your biggest problem, he took a few of your shots and had been trapped down by Peter’s webs more times than not, but he still managed to get out with his insane reflexes and sharp claws. You began to think if Tony was on his way, knowing that it was lasting longer than what you originally expected, you knew that you had insisted to your dad through the years that he needed to let you do your own missions, fight your own battles but now it seemed like you needed him now because being attacked with alien tech was taking a toll on you. Especially since exhaustion was spreading through your body like wildfire, your whole-body ache thanks to the hits you had taken and you started to feel annoyed and sloppy. 

Which were things that were extremely dangerous in battle. 

You tried to pay no attention to it, as you ended up blasting one of the last men that were carrying an alien weapon, feeling a little bit better taking into account that there were no more of that type of energy, but then you heard the gunshot piercing the sky towards where Peter was fighting with The Prowler while also trying to avoid the gunshots. 

You hadn’t realized it until now, but Peter wasn’t wearing his Iron-Spider-suit, he was wearing his newest one, which unfortunately didn’t seem to be bulletproof. You had insisted a few weeks ago that you needed to install the program that you had to reinforce on your suit, but unwanted fights and love confessions had pushed it to the back of your mind.  In all honesty, Peter was never shot. He took hits and was knocked out but Peter was always able to avoid the bullets coming his way, still, it made you feel uneasy. 

You pointed at the guy but before you could fire, a shot came through his leg and he fell, leaving Peter alone to continue his fight with The Prowler. You frown at what had just happened, you turned around to see where it had come from but you didn’t have time as you heard Peter’s screams. 

“AAAHH!”

Your heart leaped to your throat as the Prowler punched down Peter, knocking him to the ground and quickly taking a needle and a syringe and injecting Peter with something on the neck. It seemed painful as Peter kicked The Prowler away, he booted his ribs and The Prowler fell backward. 

“PETER!” You quickly yelled as you fire towards The Prowler, trying to give Peter time to get away as you flew towards him, but he was backing away from Peter, who after standing up for a few moments, fell onto his knees as he fought to stand up and move in any way he could. 

They had injected him with an Oscorp serum. 

And you’d had enough. 

You didn’t have much energy left on your suit but by how you were blasting The Prowler and the last three men behind him with normal guns, it would’ve seemed like you had a full charge suit. Peter was still behind you, forcing his limbs to move but being unsuccessful at his attempts, it seemed like they were going number by the second and he was glad that you were covering him. The Prowler avoided your shots but you managed to hit two of the remaining men, it seemed like it was working, the Prowler was simply on defense mode and the bullets weren’t harming you, you elevated yourself a bit as you tried to take your best shot at The Prowler, which was your main objective. 

But then, through the corner of your eye, you saw the last man standing, kneeling, and pointing at Peter who was behind you. 

“NO!” you yelled as you landed on the floor, covering Peter while at the same time the man fired two bullets. The first one hit your suit just fine but then something slammed you in the chest, attaching to your suit as you looked down to see what it was. 

The device was smaller than Hammer’s, but it was faster, and in one second, it clenched on your suit and the nanotech began going haywire. Parts of your suit were retracting from your body and it seemed like the hologram technology shot down, the beeping and alarms from your suit sounded louder, and then, one second later, all the nanotech retracted to your suit.  Peter’s Spidey senses went off, he tried to move his limps and started bolting towards where you were, falling into his knees but he continued to drag himself to where you were.

He was almost there when a bullet hit you on your ribs. 

You didn’t scream, just breathing heavily as you covered your ribs with your hands. 

You fell to your knees, shaking as you pulled your hands away from your body and looking down at the amount of blood over your hands.

“Y/N? Y/N!!!” Peter’s scream pierced the sky as you started to fall on the ground. Peter wasn’t sure how he was managing to move, taking into account that the same serum had managed to knock Bruce out but he was there in time to catch you.

He turned around and quickly fired a taser web to The Prowler and the last guy (who immediately was knock out=, it didn’t affect the Prowler who seemed to be trying to get closer and closer to you, like if he was trying to steal something but Peter’ upped the energy, to the point where The Prowler fell to his knees. 

Peter Parker only got as angry as he was at the moment when he managed to catch Uncle Ben’s murderer. The wave after wave of electricity, to the maximum level that Peter could program it with and it did cause The Prowler to stand back, to stop and before Peter knew it, The Prowler was riding away in a motorcycle. 

Which gave Peter the chance to look down at you, who was clearly in pain. The pain on your ribs was pretty unbearable, honestly, and you coughed up a bit of blood as you tried to talk; judging by the amount of blood, you were sure that the bullet had pierced your sternum and you knew it wasn’t good. 

“y/n, stay-” Peter whispered with a wobbly voice that cracked, he was shaking and you knew for sure that he was crying underneath his mask as he pressed on the wound, while you hissed. “stay with me, please babe, please”

Peter tried to stand up, he tried to move but he could feel his muscles relaxing as each second passed and he began to panic as he held you. You were shaking more and more and it was getting extremely cold, Peter cried as he tried to hold you better, blood staining his suit, He heard KAREN telling him that help was on the way but it seemed like you were slipping away. 

“y/n, please, stay with me” Peter whimpered as he held you tighter, trying to wake you up.  

Your eyes fluttered open and you smile sweetly. “I’m not going anywhere without you, Parker” you whispered before you attempted to cup Peter’s face with your hand, you wanted to see his chocolate eyes with golden specks and his freckles, only to pass out. 

Peter started hyperventilating, hands shaking and all he wanted was to take off his mask right there and then, he felt like he was suffocating.  He took off his mask, clearly cuts and blood on his face as he cried and leaned into you. He felt so helpless and he couldn’t avoid it as he recalled all the times that you had gone away from him, that you had left. 

 “Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me” was the only thing that he was muttering when Tony quickly landed next to them and had to rip you from Peter’s hold. 

“I got her Spiderling, let me take her,” Tony said shakily, he seemed to be as scared as Peter was but he had it together and it took Peter a few moments before he finally let you go and Tony flew away with you and Rhodey landed next to Peter. 

Peter didn’t know if he had managed to resist Oscorp’s serum for so long because of sheer willpower to get to you and keep you safe, but he did know that as soon as you weren’t there, his whole body went limp. He was exhausted and he allowed Rhodey to quickly carry him behind Tony. 

Helen Cho and Bruce were already waiting for Tony and Rhodey at Stark Tower, Tony was extremely thankful that Bruce had used a quinjet to get as fast as he could from The Compound to help you with your injuries, but in all honesty, it wasn’t surprising since you felt like a second daughter to Bruce. Helen then was the one who dealt with Peter, although Peter wasn’t knock out, he seemed to be in shock and exhausted by the battle; he had to be sedated after a while because he wasn’t even answering her questions, he simply was muttering “please be okay, please be okay” under his breath, his mind was always with you. 

You were in surgery for hours, it even gave Peter enough time to wake-up and force himself out of his room so he could sit down nervously in the room of the medical wing where Tony, Pepper, and Harley were already waiting for you. He wasn’t sure how the surgery was going and he didn’t want to ask, afraid that what they told him wouldn’t be a good answer. Tony had almost protested Peter’s presence there, knowing that he was also injured but he quickly simply hugged Peter and thanked him for protecting you but in his mind, Peter wouldn’t relax until he knew that you were okay. 

And thankfully, you were.

You woke up in the medical room, which you didn’t like a lot but you knew it was needed. Tony and Pepper were beside you when you woke up and the way their smiles light up as soon as they saw your eyes open, made your heart warm. But, the thing that made your heart rate rise, which was how Peter was loosely holding your hand right next to you. You could see some cuts and bruises on his arms, face, and collarbone from the fight with The Prowler but he was right there. 

“Hey” you muttered while you smiled at Peter. 

“Hey” he replied as he managed to hold your hand tighter. 

“You gave us quite a scare, young lady” Tony whispered, tears threatening to fall from his eyes and you were sure that he was going to end up breaking. “I’m sorry for not arriving before”

You shook your head, placing a hand over Tony’s. “It’s okay, I’m okay”

Pepper began to cry, without much notice while you turned to see Harley in front of your bed wiping some tears away, trying so hard for no one to notice how he had cried. You smiled at him, he smiled back between the tears. 

“You are literally a badass, you have to add gunshot wound to your list of injuries and compare it to the other’s when they arrive” Harley muttered and you laugh, but you quickly wince, a hand going to your torso where, you guessed, the bullet had been. 

“Don’t laugh, you have stitched over there” Peter recommended as he carefully placed his hand over your wound, almost as if wanting to protect you and you smiled. 

“So,” you said clearing your throat. “Did it hit my sternum as I thought?”

It had indeed hit your sternum but Bruce had managed to get it out and then fix it up, quite nicely. On the other hand, Helen Cho had managed to bring one of her newer model of the machine that had managed to regenerate Clint’s skin and tissues when he had gotten injured fighting with Hydra agents. You were doing well and even more with the type of technology you had been treated with, but you still needed to rest and Tony had ordered you to rest for as long as two weeks (which for him wasn’t half what he wanted to give you) but you had protested. 

You didn’t know why, but when Tony had agreed with you about how long you could rest without even trying to discuss it, although he didn’t like it, he respected it. And you felt happy that you were seeing small changes in your relationship, the anger or resentment had diminished a lot. 

Even more with the other news, he gave you. 

After your fight and while you were in surgery, Tony had called for an emergency meeting with all the Avengers -except for Bruce, for obvious reasons- and it had been decided that as soon as the remaining Avengers came back from their mission (which they decided to cut short when they found out that you had been shot), they would go after Kingpin. 

“He messed with the wrong girl” Tony had said as he passed a hand through your hair and then ruffle it a bit, as you laughed. 

Everyone was so pissed that you had been hurt, that even Fury had agreed that they needed to do something against Kingpin because no one could mess with the surrogate daughter of the group. You felt relief washing over your body, happy that after so long, you were receiving the support that you had always wanted from the grown-ups. After so many fights, yelling matches, and shutting people out, it seemed like good things were coming. 

Moreover, Tony promised you to look into the device that had caused your suit to retract and to see what they had changed, although part of you already suspected where it came from Olivia Octavious, which meant that they had been recently stolen by a certain cat. But Tony didn’t need to know and you tried not to think about it, simply nodding at Tony’s statements. 

After the update of what had happened, you had asked Bruce if you could go to your room and although he insisted that he would prefer for you to stay in the medical wing, he had allowed it. 

Peter had been the one to carry you to the penthouse and into your room. 

“How long was I in surgery?” you asked Peter as he carried you, bride-style to your bed from the wheelchair that Bruce had insisted you to use -although you would rather use Peter’s arms-. 

“About five hours,” Peter suggested as he began to cover you in your blankets softly. “Do you have any pain? I can go and get normal meds if you don’t want the IV”

“No, it’s okay. Don’t worry” you answered Peter as your gaze locked upon him. Peter seemed to be still shaken up by what had happened and you knew that your current state didn’t help. The dark bags under your eyes were so prominent and your skin was beyond pale, his eyes were glassy and red from crying. “Peter, come” you finally said as he finished wrapping you on your bed. 

Peter turned to look at you and it seemed like something broke inside of him when he locked gazes with you and he felt his lower lip wobbling, eyes filling with tears as he walked forward and sat down on the floor next to your bed, taking your hand in his and holding it tightly as you looked up to him. Your fingers daintily ran through his caramel curls as tears fell from his eyes.

“I was so scared that I was going to lose you again” Peter whispered and you wanted to cry as well, you quickly pulled him up and before you knew it, he had wrapped you in his arms softly, he was sitting on your bed, next to you, holding you as you had craved for so long.  

You quickly push back a bit to wipe Peter’s tears away, feeling the large knot on your throat. “You are not going to lose me, dumbass. Never”

Peter laughed at your comment and he quickly leaned over and pressed his lips against your forehead and you smiled into the kiss. You always liked when Peter kissed you, any part of you, it felt safe. Peter leaned back, still holding your hand as you smiled at him and gaze at Peter intently. 

You wondered, a bit upset with yourself, that it took a bullet for you to realize how honest Peter was about his feelings. You had never seen Peter so broken, only when you had fought and you realized that everything went back to you. Peter really did love you as much as he expressed and you didn’t think about it twice as you watched him next to you in that bed. You didn’t need to think about it more, there wasn’t a shadow of doubt in your heart that Peter would always be there for you and that he would always love you. 

You felt your heart skipping a bit by the way that Peter was looking at you, how he was touching you and your feelings seemed to simply overwhelm you, it seemed like they have been locked in for so long, that you had been trying to process something that didn’t need a lot of thinking and now that they were raw and out in the open, it seemed to be more than your chest could handle. Everything regarding you went back to Peter Parker, there was no escaping the bond that you had between you, the warmth and confidence that you felt with the other, Peter was your home and he had always had been, and until then you realized how much you still loved Peter Parker. 

And then there was a slight tapping on your window. 

Both you and Peter turned around to watch the window, without much trouble, Felicia managed to play with the lock and before you knew it, she was inside your room. 

Felicia landed swiftly on the ground, but when she turned around to watch you, even though her face was partially covered by her mask, you could tell that her eyes were filled with panic. 

But when your gazes linked up together, you heard a long sigh of relief escaping from her lips as she took her mask off and walked over to you, climbing into your bed without a second thought and throwing herself towards you. 

She hugged you softly, knowing that you were hurt, and then she stepped back, on the way placing a small kiss on your cheek without even noticing Peter, who was next to you watching closely and with growing tension on his skin. 

“I was so scared for you” Felicia whispered as she cupped your face and smile, you could see her wobbly lips and you couldn’t help but smile at her reaction. 

It almost made you tear up. You knew that Felicia wasn’t the type to worry much, to give too much to other people, to even show her feelings; so, seeing her almost cry for you and be worried about you was something incredibly new and a milestone in your relationship. It was something that you weren’t expecting, she had dared to come to Stark Tower even though she knew the risks that it entailed, but still, there she was dressed as Black Cat and entering through your window, without even thinking it twice. 

“You were the one shooting them from another place, weren’t you?” you finally said with a laugh and Felicia nodded with a giggle, as you took her hand with the other one that Peter wasn’t holding. 

“You know me well” Felicia muttered as she placed a hand on your cheek and you leaned into it, her hand then fell to your wound and she winced at the thought of your injury, you even detected a gleam of regret on her eyes; although you told yourself that maybe she was sorry that she didn’t do more. 

And then, the bubble burst

“What are you doing here?” Peter asked as you and Felicia whipped your head towards the other side of the bed where Peter was seated. 

The statement was blunt, brisk, and ended with a glare from Peter’s chocolate eyes. You froze, remembering that Peter had been watching the slight interaction and you could feel the warmth on your cheeks. Fuck. Peter had a steely look in his eyes and he was clenching his fist, you were sure if he had been touching anything, the material would immediately blend or warp. 

Peter knew that he couldn’t be jealous of Felicia, not if she made you happy, but for fuck sake, you were having a moment with Peter and she had burst in, he could feel the anger bubbling up in his chest and when he glared at Felicia, he realized that she wouldn’t be backing down either, her jaw tightened in annoyance. 

“I can climb walls too, Spidey” Felicia spat curtly while she looked at Peter with disdain, her nose scrunched up and clearly annoyed at Peter’s statement. “Do you have a problem with me visiting the girl that I’m dating?” 

Peter felt his whole body buzzing with anger as he glared at Felicia with a clenched jaw. “Couldn’t you have, I don’t know, shoot The Prowler so he wouldn’t hurt y/n and you wouldn’t have to come?” he growled and you snapped your head at Peter, shooting him an annoyed look. 

“Peter!”

Felicia chuckled maliciously, standing up from your bed and glaring down at Peter. “You were the one that let The Prowler get you!” Felicia barked with a glare, a gleam of rage on her cat-like-eyes. “Why would I have to deal, or y/n for that matter, with your incompetence?”

“Are you kidding me!?” Peter snapped at Felicia as he stood up, they seemed like they were ready to fight in your room, in your bed. 

The tension in the air grew and you knew that if you didn’t intervene, you would have a fight that would need to be broken by the Avengers in the building, which you wouldn’t like. 

“Both of you, stop!” you yelled, wincing a bit as you held your wound which only served for Peter and Felicia to throw themselves at you, checking your vitals, IV, and your injury, bickering under their breath as they touched you but you’d had enough of them. “Stop! I really love that you’re here, especially at the same time, but I think I want to be alone tonight”

Peter’s mouth gapped and Felicia pinched her lips with a frown.

“What!?” Peter and Felicia exclaimed at the same time before glaring at the other and then turning back to you, only for you to roll your eyes. 

You knew that Felicia didn’t particularly like Peter, but she was about to get her claws out if they didn’t back out and you knew that Peter didn’t like Felicia after her reckless behavior and, part of you attributed to the fact that he might be jealous or hurt of your relationship. 

“Yeah, I think I’ll sleep better alone tonight but…” your words tapered off, not wanting to say ‘I love you’ to neither of them yet as you watched the boy with chocolate eyes and caramel curls and the girl with greyish-purple eyes with silver hair. “Thank you?”

Felicia huffed as she crossed her arms on her chest and Peter simply seemed disappointed, but at the end, they complied; much to their disdain. 

Felicia rolled her eyes, taking her mask from your bed and putting it on before she leaned down and gave you a peck in the corner of your lips, then she winked at you. You were sure that you felt your heart thundering on your chest by the small interaction and Peter’s eyes twitched at the interaction. 

“I’m just one call away, okay?” She insisted as she climbed out of your bed and opened the window from where she had entered.

You watched her carefully, imagining that -honestly- if she had wanted to, she would’ve been able to come through the main entrance as Felicia Hardy, the girl that you were seeing and your parents would’ve been elated that she’d come, you had told her that they knew somehow but she didn’t listen to it, barely paying you attention. And also, it seemed to be in typical Felicia’s fashion to do the opposite of what was expected. 

“Thank you,” you said softly while she winked at you. 

“And I’ll be down the hallway, KAREN will be telling me if you need anything” Peter then intervened and Felicia shot him a glare before she rolled her eyes and swiftly jumped out of the window.

“Thank you, P” you whispered as he leaned down and kiss you on your temple, cupping your face. 

You felt tingles on your stomach by how softly Peter had held you but your eyes couldn’t avoid going back to the window where Felicia had entered and you felt your stomach turning inside of you. 

You didn’t sleep much that night, although you did feel exhausted and you were in a bit of pain, your feelings were overwhelming your mind and heart. Today had been a rollercoaster of emotions and you, who was a person who spent time processing things and overthinking feelings, didn’t seem able to do so. Your mind simply went from Peter holding you after you had gotten shot, to Felicia in her underwear, to Peter crying with you, to Felicia barely crying. It seemed it all had mashed together and you weren’t being able to completely pulled them apart, neither from your mind or your heart, not even your surroundings, there were their lingering smell of cotton candy and cinammon with honey. 

But you knew that, although today had proven that you were in love with Peter Parker, Felicia Hardy had -without saying much- also prove that (if she didn’t even realize herself) she was falling in love with you. 

You thought about it for hours, tossing around on your bed (as best as you could, trying not to hurt yourself) knowing that at the end, you couldn’t keep them both. It didn’t matter how much you loved them; you couldn’t play with their hearts; you weren’t that type of person.

You didn’t realize that you had decided until you had hit the send button on your phone and watch the text arriving at Felicia’s phone. 

“Want to go to the Stark Gala with me?”

You believed that if Peter and you were really meant to be together, and love each other as much as you claimed, you would someday find your way back to each other, at least that’s what you told yourself. 

Not far from your bed, Peter was also tossing around on his bed. He had been asking Karen if you had already gone to sleep but she informed you that you hadn’t. Peter knew that the day hadn’t been easy, he was exhausted and he would’ve like to go to bed; you were already safe, so he had assumed it would’ve been easy for him just to drift off to sleep but he hadn’t. After hours, he realized why; he didn’t feel like you were safe because he was still mistrustful of Felicia. 

Peter had felt it when she had arrived, there was something off, regret on her gaze and it caused Peter’s hairs to raise at the nape of his neck. He knew that it was something beyond his feelings for you and he knew that if Felicia was in the picture, for some reason, you wouldn’t be safe. And if Peter felt like one thing he had to do in life, it was to protect you. 

It was his driving force. 

And so, he quickly took his phone and began to type. He added Harley to the group chat he had with MJ, Betty, Ned, and Flash; before he knew it, he had sent the message. 

“There’s something wrong with Felicia”

“I need your help, could you come to the Stark Gala with me?” 

****

taglist: @spideylovin @fandomtrash100 @soullessbabee @liljennyx3 @thatonegeekchick

*****

i’m so sorry for the delay and like for the typos you might find in this chapter bUT IT’S FINALLY UP AND WE HAVE ONLY THREE CHAPTERS LEFT. I know that I had promise to update this earlier but i had to delete a last scene because it didn’t fit with the chapter and yeah. I’m really excited to see what you thought about it, I think that although I did give a little too much Peter in this like that first scene with Felicia? it was inspired by one of my fav. movies which is jennifer’s body, that was one of my gay awakenings but yeah. And yes, i’m so sorry that the last part isn’t as detailed as the rest, it was hard to write but i think it’s okay? idk anymore. but yeah i’M SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER, although i think one of you has figured out what will happen but love to hear your theories. and i’m always really happy that you are enjoying this with me and i hope you are happy with this chapter, either if you are team felicia or team peter.

as always, the new sneek peak for the next chapter is going to be on. the masterlist if you want to see what’s coming next!

please please please let me know your thoughts and opinions on this chapter and if you have ANY theories or comments I would love to see them!!! I’m already so happy with the love you have given to the last chapters, I really hope you like it!  any feedback is well received and thank you so much!

[lovee-infected]

Hi! Can i request some headcanons for Yandere Rook, Epel, and the twins where their darling tries to genuinely understand their unhealthy tendencies and tries to co-operate with them to calm them down, would it work? Will that keep their obsessiveness in check? Thanks!

These four really do have different types of obsession , each unique yet - adorable !

♦♥♠♣

Feelings can be quite destructive , but not to him . Rook isn't into self harming emotions and will greatly enjoy a game of cat and mouse . Of course he'd be a lot more fascinated if its with you

He appreciates your beauty , elegance and mostly , your innocence . He loves to see fear and embarrassment into your eyes , just as a hunter

Rook has no worry of you realizing that he's stalking on you . He will pop out of nowhere into your way making you jump , then laughs with a : " My bad , did I scare you my lady ? "

He is totally aware of how unsafe you feel as he calls you his and surely enjoys it , after all that what he's after

You'd tried almost anything to avoid running to him or letting him run to you : Skipping classes , staying out for fewer hours , locking doors and windows before going to sleep...

Rook wouldn't mind you fighting back , it was good to see that he's been realized and feared by his prey . Bunny or deer , he was gonna let you try and fight back , not that he wasn't interested to see it though

Locking windows wasn't a stop for him from watching over you at nights . In fact he believed that you should've been thankful as well ; not a single soul or animal would make it to your room alive under his sight

Spending more and more days being watched , you seriously grew furious ; which made you run whenever you saw him around , causing him to walk faster following you

You soon had enough of it , insomnia and paranoid had you weak , not able to take it anymore

You went too Rook by your own feet , telling him about how uncomfortable you've been feeling lately and your health issues

His eyes suddenly widened putting a hand on your forehead to see if you're fine ; which you surely weren't

He immediately returned you to Ramshackle dorm , putting you on bed and sitting aside you : " My dear , you should've told me if you were feeling uncomfortable . You know how much pain would be brought to my heart even by thinking of you getting hurt..."

He then gave you a kiss and whispered a : " Forgive me darling , now take some rest ," to your ear before leaving

Just by the smirk he was holding all the time you could've said that he hadn't changed at all ; and of course he hadn't

He already knew how he's been making you feel and the only thing changed by your argument , was for him to hide more carefully

He doesn't want you hurt , but he couldn't help how exciting it was to see you helpless either

When you finally re-gained your health just enough to return to classes , he got way worse ways to watch over you . He picked up the same classes as you , participated in same clubs and even took the same path as you yet this time , there is no hiding

He openly talks to you about whatever you might talk : your day , your plans for tomorrow , etc . Pretty good at acting as if he isn't doing all these on purpose

You think that it couldn't get any worse but finding a letter on your bed with an arrow-shaped stamp on , you realize you were greatly mistaken :

He now openly asks you out and invites you for dinner , making it Impossible for you to avoid him

The romantic pace he brings to your night with candles and roses is surely something , but it doesn't change the fact that he's having you in control

He does really enjoy playing with you and your mind Watching you try to hold him back is absolutely cute in the eyes of this hunter

It simply begun with him staring too much at you during classes , hoping that you wouldn't notice him and when you did , he'd just anwser with a nervous smile , trying to seem neutral

Epel tries his best bring himself closer to you but not in a harmful way . He keeps following you around making sure that he'll be as close as possible

He doesn't intend to harm you or make you feel uncomfortable ; he just feels better when you're close

He doesn't care if you aren't going to talk to him or at least notice him , just watching your beautiful giggles and hearing your angelic voice will do for him

You soon realized that you were seeing him around a lot more that usual , during lunchtime , while talking to friends and even around ramshackle dorm , which made you a bit worried

Epel had noticed your slowly growing anxiety around him , and it frustrated him , making him scared of losing you

Even the thought of you hating him would bring tears to his eyes , making him silently cry hiding face into his pillow for many nights

He is much of a self harm yandere , he is way too shy to walk straight to you and start a conversation , so he'll just keep it all to himself , although this will end up bringing him more pain

You were trying to deal with him around , but you couldn't help it the night you found Epel trying to kiss you as you were asleep , which ended up with him running off in tears leaving you in fear and an awfull sense of being unsafe

Epel didn't show up for a few days afterwards , which made you feel sorry about it . You didn't get why he'd choose to stalk if he was really feeling for you , but considering how shy and quite he usually was you couldn't blame him either

Next to you meet he looks just...awfull . You are still a bit shocked about what happened , but realizing the bags under Epel's eyes and how much skinnier he'd got , you hug him tightly

Spending time with him , you realize how he just needs your attention ; to have you close

You didn't directly try to talk him out of his obssessive ways because that would've surely made him feel more guilty and depressed

You decide to use a different method as a way to stop his unhealthy routines or at least , reduce them for a mentionable amount : By giving him the time and attention he wanted

He'll still get a bit upset by the moments you have to leave , but you confort him that you'll soon be back

He'll slightly grows a lot better , returning to his healthy pace

There are times which he gets overly anxious or stressful , fearing of you leaving him behind , but you just know how to keep up with him :

Holding him in your embrace and kisses on the forehead will make him feel unimaginably calm and safe. He sometimes ends up falling asleep into your embrace but you don't mind

He's quite nervous and gentle when it comes to love , which may cause him to go too far sometimes . But as long as you are there for him , he's gonna be fine

Jade is a pretty calm , yet obssessive yandere. He just isn't one into stalking or following you around , yet he has his own standards

He doesn't have to follow you around since you already come for a coffee at mostrolounge's every afternoon , which is enough to be called his perfect time with you

First days just passed with him watching you with a smile , curious and bright about the way you enjoyed taking slow and patient sips of your coffee , putting on a calm face that made him lick his lips excitedly

When he finally took the urge too talk , it was no more than small talk or asking you if you want anything

His small talks slowly turned into friendly chats , he sat next to you more like a friend than a waiter waiting for you to order ; he was really growing close to you

With several weeks passing he is now way closer to you than a normal friend . He also meets you during classes and lunch time but nothing will ever replace your afternoon meetings at mostrolounge

You knew that he liked you and you didn't really have a problem with this , he is all nice and polite so why not , you thought

But just as he brings himself closer to you , his darker sides begin to be revealed as well ;

Having your exams started , you couldn't show up at mostrolounge everyday and Jade didn't like it at all , though he was well aware of you being busy

He doesn't show any anger meanwhile the two of you meet at school , although you already knew that Jads was hiding his disappointment under that calm smile

When you finally get to return to mostrolounge after a while , he doesn't act any differently than before . You try to apologize but he comforted you that he understands how busy you are

Things got a lot different from the day after . He now asks you about people you meet everyday and friends you talk to . You don't find any of these information necessary but didn't mind giving them away either

His questions soon got irritating and whenever you tried to switch the subject or lie ,he used shock the heart on you : "Darling , be honest with me ,"

His friendly talks are now serious interrogations , as if he he knows that you're hiding something from him . You never mind answering him even though he sometimes went too far , but seeing him caught into his paranoids of you cheating him made you worried

You already like Jade and don't want to see him as he is , so you take a step forward , asking him if he likes to go on real dates , not occasional cafe meetings

He blushes at your request , unsure what to say but he immediately accepts it ; not wanting to lose the chance

Even as the two of you date , he continues to be protective over you since the thought of you cheating him drives him mad

He'll keep asking you if you want someone else using shock the heart , which you always say no but that doesn't ever seem enough to satisfy him , even though he knows that you're telling the truth

Jade just wants you on his side and doesn't want to lose you ; after all prevention is better than cure

Floyd's obsession isn't something he'd like to hide . He just isn't the type who would rather hiding in the shadows and sneakinh behind the doors , he finds that pretty useless and of course , boring

He doesn't mind you noticing him around or telling that he's following you , he'd even doubt that you'd ask since he does it pretty obviously

You tried to be positive about it , asking him what he's doing or if he wants something several times , but the anwser made seeing him around a hundred times creepier : " Nah- Isn't it obvious ? I'm just following you ,"

Stalking isn't an extremely exciting kink of him , he's more into close-interactions : Showing up out of nowhere and holding your hand , being squeezed unexpectedly during classes or even being grabbed by arm and warned about how close you've been to your friends lately were just simple

He doesn't like you spending too much time with any other than him and wouldn't mind stating it to you loud and clear. He even says how bad he wants to roast those fishies , which he meant your friends , into flaming hot fire ; which he you laughed at just to be hushed by his deadly gaze , clarifying that he obviously wasn't joking

You didn't really try to hold him back at first , thinking that he was just much of a tsundere around you , being protective as a friend ; but when his small jokes grow closer to reality , you knew that you had to take it serious

He would grab anyone who gets too close to you by grabbing back of their collar and pull them back like it's no big deal ; no need to say that the ones who already know him are too terrified to argue and those who don't as well will be cut off by just looking at his gigantic figure

Soon enough , everyone around you are aware of you belonging to unpredictable Leech twin , which will probably cause them to keep their distance with you ; enough to make you feel isolated

Floyd as well is starts avoiding people , even acting cooler with Jade in fear of you preferring his 'pitch perfect twin' over him

You were already feeling unsafe due to his unhealthy behaviors toward you , but watching him doing the same to himself made you feel guilty ; after all this was all for you , because of him being obssessed with you .

You were no match for him if you were to talk you out of it , so you decided that you needed some...help

Asking Jade and Azul for help would normally cost a price , but since they as well were worried about Floyd , you could call it a deal

You all agreed that he needed to take some time off to return to a more stable position , which Floyd obviously disagreed

Finally he agreed on taking a short vacation but just on condition ; you had to go with him

Jade and Azul were sure that you wouldn't last any more than a few days alone with him , which made them decide to come with you as well

Floyd isn't quite satisfied about having to take an unwanted vacation , but since it's with you , he can kinda deal with it

He is never gonna totally let go of his obssessive ways , but having his closest friends along with you will make him a bit calmer ; at least enough for him to be his real self

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

frENEMIES {Quarterback AU}

Summary: When his brother forces him to go on a double date with him and with a girl that absolutely hates Grayson, he’s forced to realize that their mutual disdain might have been caused by his own actions.

Warnings: swearing, a lot of banter

Word Count: 2.5 k

A/N - this is sort of a version of This Is War (Ethan frat/soulmate fic), but there are no soulmates here. It’s probably bad since I stress wrote it instead of studying, but it’s also kind of fun? I guess I’m a sucker for enemies trope. Also, I am writing Fix me finale, but it will take me a while because I am back in college for the next month and a half or so and I have back to back exams every 2 or 3 days. Hope you guys understand and I hope you like this one as well. 

*                                    *                                        *

Ethan never thought he'd have to beg his brother to accompany a beautiful woman on a date, but he still found himself in front of his arm-crossed twin and his defiant glare.

„No. Not happening.“ Grayson is adamant, refusing to budge and most definitely not when it's her who they want him to go out with. Why can't they find someone else to be their double date?! He just didn't see the sanity in that decision.

„I'm asking as a brother!“ Ethan pulled his twin card, hoping to see change in Grayson who simply laughed in his face before turning his back on him, still stubbornly refusing to even consider it.

„Bruh, never gonna happen.“

Rolling his eyes, Ethan's annoyance grows as he's forced to walk in front of his brother who seems damn determined to fuck up his night even after he tried to bribe him with chores, cash, even his dear Smooth cat.

„She's Amina's best friend. I am begging you, please, don't make me call mom on you.“ And that's when he played the ultimate card �� the mom card. There isn't a woman in the world as important to Grayson as his mother, but then again, there isn't a woman as capable of making him do things he'd never want to do.

„Seriously? Playing the mom card now? What are we, like 10? Plus, why would she even want me as a date?! She fucking hates me and I'm pretty sure she's mental. You're putting your favorite brother in the line of fire.“ Reasoning with Ethan had never been fruitful in the past, but even as he watches Ethan shrug his pleas off his shoulders, Grayson clings to some hope he'd manage to escape this whole ordeal. It's probably the only time he had ever regretted being a playboy instead of having a girlfriend...taken men can't be forced into dates with their worst enemy.

„Favorite? You're my only brother, Grayson. It does not make you necessarily a favorite.“ Ethan retorted with furrowed eyebrows before tossing a white, classy shirt at his brother's chest. „Now get ready and be nice tonight, okay?“

Nostrils flared as he inhales deeply, staring daggers at Ethan's back as he leaves the room, Grayson yells after him: „No promises!“

To say he spent the entire drive over to the restaurant sulking would be an understatement. The last thing, absolutely the last thing, Grayson wanted to do now is to spend a few hours around Y/N Y/L/N.

You know those girls that are always seemingly fun but will cut you down with just a look if you make a single misstep? The girls that may be smaller than guys but cause terror in them whenever they scowl?

Y/N Y/L/N is the queen B of the club Grayson is certain exists as some secret college society of women that learn how to make men's lives miserable.

Sure, she's on good terms with everyone else, but Grayson always found her to be rude and mean-spirited with him. Every time he tried to bridge the distance between them for not only his brother's relationship but his own inner peace, she nearly chewed his head off. 

In time, Grayson learned to avoid her and her mood-swings, but he still found himself getting out of the car on this particular night, finding Amina in front of the restaurant and he could easily recognize Y/N, even from behind. Perhaps he's spent too much time admiring her ass in the past, but she wasn't hard to recognize, besides, who else would be helping Amina fix her hijab?

For a moment there, he just stands there on the curb, watching her as the wind picks up and her hair flies to the side, revealing her face as she steps away from Amina and giggles, the sound carried through the wind and to his unsuspecting ears. He thought her laugh is almost...tolerable...cute even.

Shaking his head vehemently, Grayson felt Ethan's hand on his shoulder and his expecting gaze as well.

„Come on. It might rain soon and I'd rather not worry if Amina will freeze to death when her clothes get wet.“

Sighing, Grayson follows his brother reluctantly, his gaze unwavering and on his enemy. She may be clothed in a beautiful green dress with bare back, but Grayson still remembers she's a wolf in sheep's clothing.

„Hey.“ Ethan smiles sheepishly at his dear Amina, giving her a small wave as she looks down shyly and her cheeks turn a darker shade. Their relationship is pure in Grayson's eyes – they rarely ever touch and when they do it's by accident and yet they seem to be inseparable. In a moment of weakness, he wished for something as simple and pure as they have too.

„Ugh. Grayson fucking Dolan? Seriously Amina?“ Y/N all but growled at her best friend who was forced to look at her instead of Ethan who really captured all her attention moments ago. Frowning, Grayson clears his throat, hoping to speak but Y/N continues.

„I thought I was supposed to be here with you as the third wheel because your dad insisted! Why call...“ She turns to Grayson, gesticulating to his face with slight disgust on her face before she adds: „Him.“

„Excuse me?!“ Grayson exclaims, quite frankly offended by the way she looked at him like he's not worth the dirt off her cheap heels, but she just turns to him with the fakest, fed-up smile she could muster.

„You may be excused.“ Showing him down the road, hoping he'd leave, Y/N looked at the way his face quickly changed from insulted, to angry, to wicked.

„Oh, no. I'm staying. Now that I know you have been blindsided into spending a whole dinner with me, I'd love for a chance to make your meal a little spicy.“ Winking, Grayson opened the door. Waiting for them to enter, Ethan and Amina were fast but Y/N crossed her arms and tapped her foot against the pavement, her eyes narrowed at him with suspicion.

„Waiting for a formal invitations, princess?“ Grayson clicks his tongue as he gestures with a nod for her to get inside, nearly bursting out laughing when she flinches with the thunder echoing in the street.

„You're just waiting for me to walk in order to let the door slam in my face.“ She guesses, looking up at the sky nervously as lightning tears the sky open.

„Maybe, but you'll never know if you don't come in. Or you can test your luck with the thunderstorm.“ Shrugging as if saying he's alright with either or, Grayson raises his eyebrow in challenge and then it crosses his mind – this is the first time since he met her that he has the reigns and it feels really, really good.

Pensive, she looks back up at the sky before shrugging. „I'd rather brave the storm then, quarterback.“

However, as she states her choice, rain starts to drizzle and the lightning illuminates every line of her frustrated face and her pouted lips as she closes her eyes in anticipation of what's to come. Brave...but stupid.

„Come in. I won't slam the door in your face.“ Clearing his throat, he adds. „My mama taught me better, alright?“

„Fine, but if you do, I know who to complain to then. Don't underestimate me, quarterback. I can find her number if I want to!“ Eyes narrower with every step she takes, arms tense as she expects him to go back on his word, she manages to walk into the restaurant without a scratch on her and surprisingly no attempt to even frighten her.

Y/N headed straight for the table next to Ethan and Amina, the only one available with 'reserved' card on it. She sat opposite of Amina so she could pick up on any signal her best friend sends, but also because she had many signals she wanted to send her and a middle finger might be one of them.

Of all the men in the universe, hell, of all the women in the universe, those two chose the quarterback from hell? She never quite understood how he and Ethan could be twins and be so fundamentally different but after the first two years, she just stopped trying to understand it – understand him, at all.

„Alright. What do you want to order?“ Grayson picks up the menu – the only menu on the table and she rolls her eyes at him again. „Might wanna watch the eye-rolls. Don't want your eyes getting stuck like that, do you?“

Glancing at Amina who just mouthed 'Please', Y/N let out a violent huff in utter frustration, even more so when Grayson continued to hog the menu.

„Why are you here? Really? Did they blindside you too?“ Y/N questions, more curious about how calm he seemed when he found her in front of the restaurant than the menu he holds. She can't eat much now when her appetite is for vengeance alone.

„Nope, Ethan played the mom card. I wouldn't be here otherwise, trust me.“ He responds without even looking at her, his eyes still going over the menu and if she didn't know better, she'd think he's confused.

„You have something better to do on a Saturday night? A girl perhaps? Did I cockblock you, quarterback?“ Raising her eyebrows with amusement, she leans in and cocks her head slightly to the left, awaiting for his response.

„Don't flatter yourself. My plans were more important than a girl. I was supposed to run on the treadmill.“

Shaking her head, finding his answer peculiar and she couldn't help herself but question him further. Besides, she had no other form of entertainment but to make steam come out of his ears.

„Running? That's more important? What the hell?“ Flabbergasted, she draws in a shaky breath as she puts a hand on her chest in surprise and Grayson dignifies her with a curious glance.

„Who chooses to spend a Saturday night on a treadmill?“

Putting down the menu, Grayson presses his tongue against his left cheek to reel his usually loud self which was always amplified around her.

„Someone who makes good life choices. Try it sometimes.“ Snarky tone he used made her bite her lower lip, slowly releasing the soft flesh with a little less lipstick than before. Shame – Grayson quite liked the red shade on her lips.

„Oh, quarterback, you're so scandalous. For future reference, if you ever see me running you should run too because I only run for my life...maybe not even then.“ Smacking her lips, she slyly grabbed the menu from his hands and looked it over herself. She noticed Ethan nod at his brother before they exchanged a few words in their weird gibberish language Amina told her about, though she had caught them doing so a few times before too.

„So, you're really into football, huh“, Grayson asks so naively, noticing exactly when she raised her eyes from the menu and up to him with a boy-you-better-run look and he gulps, aware she'd soon say something that would fuck everything up.

„Football? It's literally the last thing on my list of interests...hell, it's not even on the list!“ She exclaims, noticing Grayson's jaw clench and his eyes harden and Ethan facepalmed immediately, all too familiar with what will happen.

„Football is life! What do you mean it's not on the list?“ Shushed by Amina, he presses his lips together but his eyes are wide and wild and Y/N can't help but chuckle.

„It's the dumbest sport there is. All you do is throw hands with men with over-sized pads and helmets. You get concussions for fame? Fuck that.“ Tossing the menu on the center of the table, Y/N leans back in her chair as she notices a vein prominently showing on Grayson's forehead and she can't help but enjoy the view. There is nothing she likes better than a pissed off Grayson. He's got everyone treating him like a deity, but she was never among them. Perhaps it's because he fucked up when they first met, but she tried time and time again to give him the benefit of the doubt and he always proved her opinion of him, while abominable, is very accurate.

„Dumbest sport? Do you know how hard I work to be the very best on that field? The theories and strategies I have to learn? The physical preparations?!“ Whisper shouting, Grayson leaned closer, his elbows resting on the table and his biceps swell up as he moves some of his weight onto his arms and the table under him.

„Oh, wow! You work so hard? A doctor works hard, Grayson. They save lives and they will never earn the money you will earn after college. You're learning how to run zig-zag across the field with a crummy ball in your hands without falling, while doctors, lawyers, teachers, cashiers and many REAL professions are so underfunded and underpaid and you think that's fair?“ Shaking her head, she raises her hands in mock surrender, watching a little bit of Grayson's ego chip away and he shakes his head too, looking away as he keeps his mouth shut.

„Why do you even hate me so much?“ Grayson mumbled sometime during dinner -  a very quiet dinner.

Looking up at him through her eyelashes, she wondered if he really doesn't know. Hell, she always knew why she hates him, but she never knew why he hates her.

„You really don't know?“ She nearly chuckles when he shrugs, oblivious as always.

„Why is that somehow worse than everything you did?“ Talking to herself more than him, she lets out a heavy sigh. Tucking her hair behind her ear, Y/N presses her lips together and Grayson can't help but notice the red lipstick is once again evenly spread across her lips.

She remembered the way they met, the way he treats the girls, the pranks he pulled that left her mortified, or the nickname he started that followed her for a whole semester and most of all, she couldn't forgive him for scaring off a guy she thought she'd be with for a very, very long time.

„You're so smart and sure of yourself, figure it out.“ But then again, she did have an appetite for vengeance and he had no idea how ready she was to satisfy it.

He was clueless until Monday morning, right after practice when he was left last in the locker-rooms after his self-imposed morning practice. He was clueless as he walked out of the shower, confused as to where his towel is. He was clueless when his steam-clad body felt the breeze of the mysteriously open window in the locker-room had made him shiver.

However, when he opened his locker, Grayson was no longer clueless: his clothes – gone, his jersey – gone, his phone, bag and towels gone.

Everything is gone, yet when he looks at the mirror, he finds the cause for the message left in a very familiar shade of red gave him more than just a clue – XOXO next to a clear mark of a particular pair of lips he was admiring on Saturday night.

„Y/N FUCKING Y/L/N!“

Tags: @mendesficsxbombay​ @beinscorpio​ @peacedolantwins​ @dolandolll​ 

PART 2

[squidneysidney]

William Nylander - Friendzez

Word Count: 2,409

Requested

Thank you, 

SS

You hit the yellow level 5 button in the elevator, trying to balance the two grocery bags filled with food for the hungry hockey players. William called last night while studying for an exam to tell you few of the guys would be coming over the next day and for you to join. You put up a protest, knowing you’d be pulling an all-nighter to pass this test on Monday. To your dismay, he couldn’t take no for an answer. So here you are with salsa, chips, and drinks requested by Willy earlier this morning.

Walking up to Willy’s door, you knock and wait for someone to open it. No one comes, so you knock again. You are greeted back with yelling from the other side. Rather than knocking again, you put the bags down and search for the key Willy had given you to look after his apartment during long road trips. You open the door to see Auston, Mitch, Travis, and William sitting in the front room watching the latest basketball game.

“Anyone care to get the door once in a while?” You chuckle at the guys. Lugging the bags into the apartment.

“Hey you’re here,” William greets you with a hug and a kiss on the check, “and with the snacks.”

“You did call me earlier to ask me to bring them”, following Willy into the kitchen. “Hey boys, good to see you.”

“Hey!” a chorus of yells returned to greet you. Their eyes never leaving the game.

“Thank you for coming, you know it is never complete without you here,” Willy says pouring the chips into a bag.

“You know I can never say no to you William. Although, I am very sleepy. I was wondering if I could take a nap in your room until the game is over.”

Willy looks up at the tv before answering me, “You weren’t kidding when you said that it was going to be an all-nighter were you? Yeah, that’s fine, the last quarter just started so you’ll have sometime to get a nap in. I’ll wake you up when it’s over. Thank you for the snacks again.”

“No problem. I’ll probably have to study a little bit more tonight too. I’ll be good after I get some shut eye, thank you.” You hug Will from behind as you walk out of the kitchen into the hall way where his bedroom is located.

You fall asleep rather quickly, getting three hours of sleep will do that to a person. Though, you always end up falling asleep quick when it comes to Willy’s bed. There have been many times that you decided to sleep in his bed rather than your own when he is gone on long road trips.

You feel much better after a cat nap, though, you could have definitely have gotten more sleep had the boys not been yelling. It was a regular thing to hear the boys yell when watching a game, no matter the sport. You get up out of the bed and straighten out the blankets before walking out to meet them.

“Dude, come on. Just admit that you like her already. It’s so obvious, you aren’t fooling anyone.” You can here matts talking to one of the boys. Being curious who he was talking to, you slowly walk out of the room.

“Guys, how many times do I have to say this? I don’t like her. We are just friends. I don’t get why you guys think I like her.” William says, running hand through his hair. It was obvious that he was getting frustrated.

“I don’t get why you just won’t admit that you like her. She’s a cool person and you guys get along. She basically lives here with you,” Mitch says, trying to calm the swede down. You still don’t know who they are talking about. Surely Will mustn’t like who they are talking about. He would have told you before the boys would even know.

You are being slightly biased though, secretly harboring a crush on Willy yourself. Ever since meeting him a few years ago, you have been stuck. The blue-eyed blonde has always been at the forefront of your relationship life, hoping one day that he would notice you the way you noticed him. You have always been there for him, after bad games, sickness and nursing him through injury.

“It’s just not like that with Y/N,” Willy responds with a shrug.

Your heart falls into your stomach, confirming what you have always known to be true. It hurts a lot more hearing it come from his mouth instead of you telling yourself. There was always hope when it came to Will but now you know the solid truth. William doesn’t like you. Not like that.

“Give us one reason why you don’t like her like that then,” This time it is Travis coming in to interrogate the blonde. Your ears perk up at the question.

“I don’t know? For one she’s not my type. She’s, she’s boring. I keep her around to help with my parents constantly asking when I’m going to get into a relationship. I just lie and say that I’m for when she is ready. In reality, I will never see her like that. The only thing she does outside of my friends is go to school. Don’t even get me started on how much she complains about a test or something. She doesn’t have a life. I always feel suffocated with her.” Willy lets everything out on the table, not letting anything hold him back about how he truly feels about you.

“So, you wouldn’t mind me going out with her then?” Matts asks, trying to get a rise out of the blonde.

Will chuckles, “Please do, at least it will get her off my back for once.”

He looks at the boys shaking his head when you come out from behind the wall with tears streaming down your face. The boys seeing you before William can, their eyes going wide.

“How,” You ask trying not to choke on the sob that you are holding in, “How could you talk about me like that? After everything that I have done for you? After all of the phone calls that I get from you! Asking me! No, not even asking, begging me to come over after games! I do have a life William! You are just so smothering that I can’t even live it without you wanting me to be here with you. You are a coward Nylander.” You run out the door before anyone can respond to you. As you run down the hallway to the elevator, you hear your name being called. Clicking the yellow button repeatedly, you look back to see Will closing in on you before the doors slide open. Jumping in, you continually push buttons to get the door to shut.

As the doors shut you realize that all you have is your phone in your pocket, having left your keys and purse in Wills room. Not having a way home, you call the only person that you could think of.

“Hello?” their voice comes through the phone; curiosity being laced through their voice.

“Hey, I’m sorry for calling but I really need a ride and I don’t have anyone else to call.” You say, trying your best to not sound like you have been crying.

“Send me your location and I’ll be right there.” Keys are heard through the line before they hang up.

William wasn’t wrong when he said that you didn’t have a life that didn’t involve him. Most of your time was spent with Will, at Wills game, or studying. You never thought of yourself as boring though, you thought that he wanted you around. At least that’s what it seemed like to you.

Before you know it, Morgan’s car is pulling up in front of the apartment building. As you get in the car it is evident that you have been crying. Mo notices upon first glance.

“Home?” Morgan asks as he pulls away from the building. A nod is all you manage to give in response. “Are you going to tell me what is going on?” he asks after a moment of silence.

“It’s nothing, I am probably over reacting. Nothing for you to worry about Mo,” you look at him with a small smile.

“Cut the crap, that was the weakest smile that I have ever been given.”

“I just over heard Willy talking to the boys about me,” you said with a sigh as you continue, “They were talking about how William doesn’t like me. Not to mention that I am boring and suffocating.”

Morgan’s head snaps in your direction, eyebrows furrowed. “He didn’t say that did he?”

You give Morgan a ‘Would I be making this up look?’.

“You know he doesn’t mean any of that right? The boy must have been pushing his buttons. Will thinks the world of you. He always asks if you can tag along with everything we do.”

“Well apparently not Mo.” You say as he pulls up to your house, “Thank you Mo, I really appreciate it.”

Mo gives you a nod with a sad smile on his face before driving off. You slowly climb up the stairs of your apartment. Reaching your door, you lift the welcome mat revealing the spare key you keep just for emergency.

It has been a few days since you have seen or spoken to any of the boys let alone William. He has been texting and calling non stop since that day. Every so often, you will get a text from one of the boys asking you to hear Will out.

You aced the test that you have been studying for and all you want to do is tell Willy. His voice saying how suffocating you are plays in your head. Knowing that you probably will never be able to have a relationship like that with him again.

A knock at your door pulls you off your couch, opening the door without thinking who it could be. You are met with the blue eyes that you have come to love.

“Um, you forgot this the other night. Thought you might need it,” he says, lifting your bag and keys in hand.

“Thanks” You grab the bag, starting to close the door before a he sticks his arm out preventing you to shut it completely.

“You know that I didn’t mean what I said,” His eyes full of sincerity, “The boys were just annoying me when they kept asking if I had feelings for you. I just said anything that would get them off my back. Nothing that I said was true to how I feel.”

“That doesn’t make it-“

“No, no that doesn’t make it okay but that is the truth. I never would have said that had I known that you were standing right there. The boys just know how to get under my skin sometimes.” Will looks down at his feet, not looking at you.

“At least Auston is honest to everyone about his feelings. We are going out next week after his schedule calms down.”

Williams head snaps up to look you in the eyes, gauging whether or not you were telling the truth.

“You can’t go out with him.”

“And why can’t I? You don’t think that someone as boring as I am can work out with someone like Auston?” You cross your arms, waiting for his response.

William shakes his head, “No, that’s not why you can’t go out with him.”

“So why can’t I?” you counter.

“Because,” You wait for a response. “Because, you are meant to be with me. There is no one that you belong with other then me. Especially not matts, he will never treat you how I would. He will never love you the way that I do. He will never notice how you tap your nose when you are close to finding the answer to a question. He won’t know to buy you coffee at that coffee shop down the street to get you out of bed after you studied all night. Because no one in this damn world will see you how I see you. I’m sorry for what I said, there is not enough words in English or Swedish to explain how sorry I am for what I said. But please for the love of god, do not go out with matts.”

“How do you know that I wouldn’t know how to treat her?” Auston says, coming into view behind you.

Willy is shocked looking between the two of you with his mouth open. “What? Matts, what are you doing here?”

“Asking y/n out obviously. You said that I could so I came over to see how she felt.” Auston throws an arm around my shoulder.

“Stop it,” you push his arm off your shoulder laughing, “you are going to break him.”

“Alright, sorry. I couldn’t pass up on the opportunity.” Auston shrugs walking out of your apartment, chuckling to himself. “Willy, I’ll see you at practice.”

“No, you don’t” William grabs the back of Auston’s shirt pulling him back in front of him.

“Willy! Let him go, he was just joking. We aren’t going out. Auston came by to explain what happened. Now calm down.”

“So, you two aren’t?” Will looks as confused as ever.

“No man, but it was one way to get you to admit your feelings,” Auston shakes his head, walking away from the two of you.

“Were you really going to fight your own teammate just because you thought we were dating?” You ask in disbelief.

“Yes, yes I was. I was already close to losing you once and it was the worst few days I have ever had. I wasn’t going to risk losing you again. Give me a chance, not as friends, give me a chance to take you out. To prove to you that I can treat you better than any man could.”

“Trust me Willy, I know that you can.” You say with a smile on your face.

“So, you forgive me? You’ll let me take you out?” Wills famous smile evident on his face.

“Yes, I forgive you Willy. I will always forgive you William.”

Willy runs to you, lifting you up. You both giggle, happiest either of you have ever been.

[neocityarchive]

blind love | l.m.k.

— in which mark lee is so much more than just your best friend but you were too blind to realize it.

word count: 7.2k | warnings: light swearing | blind love - lola young |

a/n: i didnt mean for it to be this long but i hope you enjoy!!!

“Just friends,” Mark said, his voice still steady even in the growing tension of the moment. “That’s all you said we are, right?”

Your head dropped down to look at your hands, not knowing what to say. The overbearing guilt of rejecting his sudden confession was crushing your chest that it became painful to breathe.

“I’m sorry, Mark,” was all you could say. You forced yourself to meet his gaze through your already glassy eyes, wanting to let him know the sincerity of your words.

He smiled kindly, shaking his head. There was sadness in his eyes. And in all the years you two have known each other, you could tell how hard he was trying to hide it. “It’s okay. That’s all we’ll be.”

You bumped your head repeatedly against your study table in an attempt to rid yourself of the memory that’s constantly been playing in your head. 

It was a Sunday which meant there were no classes, which meant the university was closed, which meant that you couldn’t even make an excuse to see your best friend Mark who somehow, after almost three years of friendship, suddenly decided that it was a good idea to tell you he loves you more than a friend should love a friend.

You couldn’t say it happened out of nowhere. He’s been saying he has something important to tell you for almost two weeks before the incident but every time you confront him about it, he always makes up some lame excuse to dodge. It took a lot of self-hate for yourself and a nice amount of his protective instinct to finally make him spit it out. 

He came to your apartment that night, finding you barefaced, wearing a pair of sweats and one of his hoodies that you stole some time ago. From that he already knew you weren’t okay. You like wearing his stuff to seek some sort of comfort. Somehow, the smell of his clothes helps calm you down.

You were supposed to help him finish a report but you couldn’t concentrate after getting a below satisfactory grade on a major exam. College has done nothing but give you a shitload of insecurities lately and this just pushed you off the edge. The only thing that has been keeping you sane was the knowledge that you had someone who you can run to at the end of the day. Someone who is willing to listen to your rants and would do almost anything to cheer you up.

That day, however, none of Mark’s usual encouragement worked on you. He was getting frustrated hearing you downplay yourself because of a single exam. You started going on about how stupid you felt, how staying up all night to study did nothing but make you ugly. Mark countered every insult you threw at yourself, throwing in a few jokes here and there, all of which you ignored. But when you went on about how all of this made you unworthy of anything, how no one could possibly love you in this state, he just couldn’t take it anymore.

“I love you,” he snapped, cutting you off from your long self-deprecating speech. 

“You’re my best friend. You’re supposed to say that,” you whined, clearly missing the point.

Mark, on the other hand, was barely holding it all inside. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “No, idiot. I love you. Stop saying no one could love you, because I do. And not just because you’re my best friend.”

It wasn’t until you noticed his hands were quivering that you realized what he really meant. Looking back on it, you couldn’t help but hate yourself. You were sure it took a lot of his courage (and frustration) to come clean to you like that, and you couldn’t even take him seriously at first.

“Mark, no,” you remember telling him.

“I do. I hate that I do, but I do.” He looked away. “I love you and I know you’re feeling burdened right now, but you don’t have to say it back.”

A part of you broke that day. You hated rejecting people after having gone through several rejections yourself. It’s the worst feeling. You always wished there was a way you could always return people’s feelings just so no one would get hurt, but the universe just doesn’t work that way.

You muttered about a hundred sorries to which Mark replied a hundred ‘it’s okay’s. Maybe it was meant to make you feel better, but it just felt like your heart was getting ripped off your chest.

Mark didn’t stay long after that. You didn’t even get to help him with his report. He said sorry for suddenly dropping the L-word and you said sorry for not being able to say it back. He smiled sadly and it took your everything not to cry. He asked if he could hug you and you didn’t even answer. You just went straight into his arms, burying your head in his chest like you’ve done so many times before, breathing heavily to keep yourself from breaking down. And when the two of you pulled away, he insisted on being alone for a while. You said okay followed by another sorry.

You didn’t know “being alone for a while” meant ignoring you for god knows how long. You see him at uni but he wouldn’t even meet your eye. Even when you share the same class, he would choose to sit as far from you as possible. Once, he entered a cafe you were in and upon seeing you inside, he immediately turned around and walked away.

He’s ignoring you and he isn’t even being subtle about it. Mark Lee could never be subtle about anything, not even his feelings. You really were just too blind to realize anything.

Even other people saw how he felt. People used to come up to you all the time and ask about your “boyfriend” Mark. Sure, you would blush, shy that people thought you’re in a relationship with your best friend. When you explain that you weren’t actually dating, you would get the same shocked reaction every time. One of your friends even said you acted more like a couple than most people in a relationship do. You always thought it was just because you and Mark were such good friends.

“Friends don’t hold hands in public,” you remember Renjun saying.

“We don’t hold hands. He just grabs me and drags me to places,” you said defensively.

“And they don’t hug each other and stare at each other’s eyes while talking about pizza,” Jaemin scoffed.

You just rolled your eyes at them. It never crossed your mind that maybe they were right. You and Mark have never acted like how friends should. Maybe it’s the reason why you’re in this mess after all.

You sighed to yourself. You miss him. You can’t even pretend that you don’t. He’s become such a huge part of your everyday life that you couldn’t just ignore the sudden empty space he left when he said he wanted to be alone. You know he needed time to be by himself. But a part of you keeps holding on to his promise that even after his confession, you two would still be friends. And friends text each other, right? So all your attempts at communication depended on just that.

Thursday, 5:31 PM

You: wanna go watch a movie? i’ll buy the tickets.

Mark: cant. i have an exam tomorrow. sorry :/ maybe next time?

You: oh. okay. goodluck on your exam :)

Friday, 2:21 AM

You: [photo] this is possibly the cutest cat photo i’ve seen in awhile

Mark: that’s cute but dogs are still cuter

You: … okay?

Mark: go to sleep, y/n

Friday, 12:03 PM

You: i know you dont have class rn. have lunch w me?

Mark: oh i already ate with jaemin. sorry!!

You: it’s okayyyy :>> i’ll see u later? it’s friday night sooo we can hang out.

Mark: idk the boys already asked me to go out tonight

You: oh okay have fun!

Saturday, 6:54 PM

You: maaaark

Mark: y/nnn

You: [types] i miss you kajdhfhdksjdh [deletes]

You: nothing haha wanna grab some coffee?

Saturday, 7:01 PM

You: nvm haha have a nice nighhhttt

Sunday, 10:21 PM

You: hey can we talk

Mark: ???

You: please?

Mark: ye what about?

You: you said we’d still be friends

Mark: lol aren’t we?

You: this isn’t how friends talk to each other. i miss having an actual conversation with you.

You: we dont even see each other anymore.

Mark: i literally reply more to u than i do to jaem wdym haha

You: wow fine okay

Mark: ?????

You: i guess i deserve that haha

Mark: im tired y/n. night.

You: :( nighttt

You checked your messages for the nth time, reading everything as if something was gonna miraculously change with the cold conversation thread. Your fingers have been hovering over the keypad, typing and deleting ‘i miss you’ and ‘talk to me’ for about a hundred times already.

You don’t get why you can’t just say it. What’s so wrong with telling your best friend you miss him? Why is it so hard to press send? Why are you suddenly so afraid of how he would reply or if he would even reply at all?

It was only 10:30 in the evening. You know for sure Mark is only lying about going to sleep. He never sleeps this early unless he really is tired. He does nothing on Sundays so he can’t possibly be tired. Sundays are usually just the two of you hanging out in his apartment or yours, just to watch movies or study together. So what did he do today?

“Stop thinking about him,” you grumbled to yourself. “It’s just Mark. He’s a big boy, he can handle himself.”

But that’s not the point, a voice inside your head said. Just tell him you miss him.

You typed it again, ‘I miss you,’ but deleted it as soon as it was finished. Again. 

You’ve spent everyday with Mark that it suddenly hurts to think he’s enjoying the time you usually spend together alone. It’s crazy how you can’t stop thinking about how his day went or if he’s okay or whether he’s eaten or not. You know how stubborn he can be. Sometimes, he’d get so engulfed in whatever he’s doing that he would accidentally skip meals unless you remind him otherwise. 

“Fuck this,” you muttered to yourself. You figured you won’t ever be left at peace if you don’t do anything about whatever you’re feeling, so you decided to text Jaemin.

Sunday, 10:52 PM

You: jaeeem hi :)

Jaemin: y/n!!!!! hello :>

You: sorry for bothering you but have you talked to mark lately?

Jaemin: im talking to him rn haha why? you want me to ask him something?

You: not really hahaha how is he?

Jaemin: haha why not ask him yourself

You: he doesnt wanna talk to me lol pls just answer

Jaemin: he’s stubborn as always. he wont listen to me.

You: why, what’s he doing?

Jaemin: idk but it’s definitely not talking to you ksjdjkd

You: … very funny

Jaemin: sorry lmaooo he’s running on an hour or two of sleep everyday

You: jaemin!! why won’t you scold him?

Jaemin: we do! he just doesn’t listen. u know he only listens to you.

Jaemin: idk why you guys still arent together lmao bunch of idiots tbh

You: we’re just friends

Jaemin: rlly? oh btw mark hyung is looking for his save the bees shirt. did u see it anywhere?

You: yeah he left it here like two weeks ago when he slept over

Jaemin: LMAOOO DOESNT SOUND LIKE FRIENDS TO ME CHIEF

You: i fckingskjfhfn hate you

Jaemin: HJSJSHHDJD ok but seriously tho mark hyung is fine. just give him time, he’ll come around.

Jaemin: he misses you but u didnt hear it from me

Jaemin: ok bye he’s getting suspicious now lol

You: idk how you’re both an angel and the devil at the same time

You: anw thanks jaem. dont tell him i asked about him lol byeee

You sighed, putting your phone down in surrender. Your mind was more of a mess now than it was before you talked to Jaemin. You hate that he makes sense especially about the weird, more-than-friendly dynamics of your relationship with Mark. But more importantly, your head was beginning to be overfilled with worry.

Mark runs on barely two hours of sleep everyday. No wonder he always looks so out of it whenever you see him in the hallway. You wanted to call him, to tell him that he should sleep already, to remind him that he shouldn’t overwork himself, that doing just enough is okay. But you know he doesn’t want to talk to you. The cold replies and the ‘????’ were more than enough to tell you that.

Still, you figured it was worth a try sending him a little reminder. So you grabbed your phone once again and typed a message, revealing a little more of your emotions than you intended to. And before you could even think twice about it, you hit send.

Sunday, 11:04 PM

You: hey i know you’re still not asleep. dont worry, you dont have to reply to me. i just wanna tell you that you should take care of yourself. i know you. you’re stubborn and sometimes you won’t sleep or eat unless someone reminds you to so,, this is me reminding you haha. stop overworking yourself mark, please? you cant be sick cause i cant take care of you since you wont talk to me… lol jk. but seriously, get more rest (and talk to me,, hahah jk again unless u wanna ;)) please go to sleep now. goodnight. see you around i guess.

You stopped texting Mark after that. You wondered if he would find the initiative to talk to you first if you didn’t start the conversation. Now, two days have passed and your sleep reminder remains to be the last message on your conversation thread. You couldn’t say it didn’t hurt. You were hoping for at least a small thanks but didn’t get anything at all.

You were starting to get more and more frustrated as the days went by. It’s so unfair that you are slowly losing your best friend because of this. It’s unfair that you can’t even be mad at him because you just broke his heart. You wished there was any way you could have changed what happened, but the past remains to be written.

That afternoon, you passed by one of the cafes you and Mark always go to. You went inside, suddenly craving their special banana muffin which he introduced to you some months ago. The owner recognized you right away as you came up to the cashier.

“You’re not with your boyfriend today?” she asked.

You felt your heart skip a beat and not in a good way. It hurt. You figured there was no use in explaining since she probably won’t believe that Mark is not your boyfriend so you just smiled sadly and answered, “No.”

The lady somehow talked you into buying two muffins so you can bring one to your “boyfriend.” After handing her your payment, you realized maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. Mark always brings you stuff whenever you’re mad or upset. He knows exactly what you’re craving for even before you knew you were craving for it. Why not try if it works on him?

As soon as you headed out the cafe, you whipped your phone out to text Jaemin, asking if he knew where Mark was. It’s Tuesday, his most free day of the week so he could be anywhere. Jaemin replied not after five minutes.

Jaemin: not sure but he mentioned something about the library??

You: okay thank you!

From that, you knew exactly where Mark is. There was a small patio-like spot beside the library that he likes going to. Not a lot of people utilize the place since the tables and chairs are almost always filled with dried fallen leaves from the surrounding trees but Mark likes the thought of being close to nature.

That day though, there were more people around the area than usual. It was lunchtime so most people were out of the classrooms. Still, it wasn’t hard spotting Mark. It has never been much of a challenge finding him in a crowd of people. You saw him as soon as he came into view, sitting by the table on the corner under one of the ginkgo trees. He had his laptop open and a box of food beside it. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration one moment and then he was laughing the next. 

You were about to make your way towards him but immediately stopped in your tracks when you realized he wasn’t alone.

You didn’t know who the girl was. You’ve seen her a lot of times in class and in the hallway. You even have a vague memory of Mark talking to her one time. But you never really bothered to learn her name. She had that soft, innocent look that goes so well with her shy smile. She had her hair tucked in her ears to show just enough of her pretty face. She was beautiful. Unconventionally but undeniably. But none of that mattered.

When she said something with a smirk and Mark let out his trademark laugh, nose scrunching, hand repeatedly hitting the table, shoulders shaking and all, it felt like something punched you in the stomach. He uttered something in reply and now both of them are clutching their sides for laughing too hard. 

He looks happy, you thought, I should be, too.

But you aren’t. You continued watching their exchange, him showing her something on his laptop and both of them laughing once again. Your chest felt heavy, like something was sitting on it and now it hurts to breathe. You didn’t realize you’ve been clutching the plastic bag containing the muffin too hard until you felt the sting of nails digging on your palms. You knew you should look away but you couldn’t. You wanted to run towards him. You wanted to tell the girl to scooch over so you can sit beside Mark and give him his muffin.

This is pathetic. I should be happy for him, you said to yourself. But why am I not?

You wanted to be angry, to scream and say that it should be you he’s laughing like that with. To say that it’s you he should be spending his time with. You wanted to ask if he still feels the way he said he does about you. And if he does, then why this? But you remained glued to the ground.

You hated how you were being selfish. You rejected him, remember? So why do you expect him to follow your tails like an intoxicated mad dog? Why can’t you be happy at the possibility that he found someone that feels the same way he does? Why does it… hurt? It’s not supposed to. If you really are friends, then him being happy with someone after your rejection should make you happy as well. If you really are friends, then you shouldn’t be standing here looking stupid, watching them from afar, wishing he’s with you instead.

“What are you looking at?”

You jumped at the sudden disruption, almost dropping your muffins. “What the hell, Jaemin?!” you whined, finally looking away from Mark.

“Mark hyung and Mina?” he snorted.

So that’s her name. “No,” you lied, forcing yourself to take a step away, then another, then another.

“Are you jealous?” Jaemin teased. “Have you finally realized you’re also whipped for our hyung?”

“No,” you grumbled.

“Then why are you almost crying?” 

You blinked. You didn’t even realize the tears pooling in your eyes. Why are you being like this? “Shut up. I’m not.”

Jaemin only shrugged. “Fine. Torture yourself, then.” He smirked. “By the way, Jeno and I are inviting people to our place this Friday after exams. Just some drinks and maybe karaoke, I don’t know. We all deserve a break from hell. Wanna come?”

You didn’t reply. Your mind was too preoccupied with other things.

“Mark hyung is coming,” he said. “Maybe Mina too.”

“I don’t wanna go,” you said immediately, suddenly coming up with a decision.

The boy laughed. “You are jealous! God, I love it when you prove yourself wrong. You shouldn’t be though. You already know he likes you.”

“I’m not jealous! Stop it,” you whined, really wanting to cry this time. Everything is so frustrating and Jaemin is not being of any help. You wanted to go home and just wrap yourself in your blanket and maybe one of Mark’s hoodies.

“Then come to our place this Friday. It’s gonna be fun.” He grinned.

“Fine. Whatever. Just get away from me, you little shit,” you said, kicking him lightly in the butt.

You didn’t know if it was a lie or not but if Mark really is seeing someone now, you just didn’t like the idea of seeing them flirt with each other in front of your eyes. Even the thought of it makes you want to pull all your hair out. Is that considered jealousy? If so, why are you feeling it for someone who’s supposed to be just a friend?

Thursday came and you found yourself crying after realizing the shirt you’ve been wearing the whole day was Mark’s. No wonder he looked surprised seeing you in the hallway. He looked away immediately though, acting as if you weren’t there. It didn’t even cross your mind since you use this shirt quite a lot.

After calming yourself down, you put your playlist on shuffle and cried some more after Friends by Ed Sheeran started playing. You didn’t even realize how fitting the song was for your situation until now. Mark probably did.

You remembered him singing that song once. The two of you were just lounging in his apartment. He was playing his guitar while you pretended to study when in reality you were just looking at him. You watched as his fingers plucked and strummed the guitar strings while he softly mumbled lyrics, head bobbing to the tune. He’s good. Unsurprisingly, since he’s good at everything.

When he realized you were staring at him, he turned his head slightly to meet your eyes, one side of his lips curling up into a smirk. “No, my friends won’t love me like you do,” he sang. 

You looked away, your cheeks heating up almost immediately. It was hard to focus on your readings when he’s sitting right in front of you looking like that, singing like that. You sighed. He truly was never being subtle about how he felt.

After finishing the song, Mark put his guitar down and laid his head on your lap, not even bothering to ask if it’s okay. That’s how comfortable you were with each other.

“What are you doing?” You remember whining.

“Wake me up after 15 minutes,” he said, already closing his eyes. You took a photo of him that night. He’s cute when he’s asleep. Even cuter when you look at him up close. 

Of course, you just had to search your camera roll to find the photo. When you did, it felt as if a storm was raging on your stomach and a gorilla was pounding on your chest. It never dawned to you just how much it hurts that he suddenly left you alone until that moment.

“Goddamn, I miss you so much,” you muttered, looking at his peaceful expression in the photo.

And then you cried some more. You feel lost.

All you wanted to do was curl up in his arms and inhale his scent and listen to how his day went (and maybe accidentally fall asleep together). It sucks because you really had no one else to turn to. The single person who has always been your safe place doesn’t want to talk to you and even if he did, you really wouldn’t know what to say. Perhaps friends really aren’t like that. The thought of everyone being right when they said that maybe you and Mark were never really just friends has never been stronger than it was tonight.

Still, you couldn’t be bothered to sort your feelings out.

He feels like home, you thought. It was the best way to explain the sense of comfort and safety and the feeling of being more than enough that he provides you. It’s the only thing you can think of when your mind drifts to how he is always the constant person that you run to at the end of the day. But friends can feel like home, too, right?

Not to this extent. Not really.

Friday. You found yourself aimlessly roaming around the neighborhood after your classes in the hopes of distracting yourself from your feelings or whatever the hell they’re supposed to be called. You wouldn’t have remembered Jaemin’s party if you didn’t happen to pass by their apartment building.

You stood in front of it for two solid minutes, contemplating whether to go or not.

Mark might be there, you thought. With everything that’s going on in your head and with all the mess happening in your chest, would it really be a good idea to see him? You thought maybe all these things you’re feeling are just a result of missing him. All these sadness and confusion might just be because you miss your best friend.

So you entered the building. You told yourself that you’ll try talking to him again this time, no matter how stubborn he’s going to be. And if it still doesn’t change anything, then you will take it as a sign to let him go. If not forever, then at least for now.

You reached the door to Jaemin and Jeno’s apartment. Even from the outside, the sound of the bass can already be heard. You wondered how long before the neighbors would file a complaint against them, but knowing Jaemin and Jeno, their neighbors are probably inside, partying with them right now.

Before entering, you looked down on your chest just to make sure you were wearing your own shirt and not Mark’s. It didn’t feel right wearing his stuff anymore. God, it really felt like you just broke up. Why is it like this?

You took a deep breath and opened the door. There were already a lot of people inside even if it was just 8 in the evening. Most of them, you know the faces of. You smiled to greet some and muttered a hi to others.

Renjun spotted you as soon as you came into the living room. “Y/N!” He grinned, handing you a cup of god knows what. “Jaemin said he invited you but we were all pretty sure you were gonna ghost us. But you didn’t!”

You laughed hesitantly. “Thanks, I guess?”

“Drink up. It’s a cocktail I made myself,” he said proudly, almost forcing the cup into your mouth.

You took a sip, figuring it won’t do any harm but you spat the liquid back to the cup as soon as it touched your tongue. “What the hell did you put in this?”

He shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. I just mixed in everything I could find. Thanks for trying it out though. I’ve been looking for a volunteer for five minutes already.”

You frowned. There were a lot of things you were unsure of at the moment but there is one thing that’s certain: you have weird friends. You were about to complain to Renjun when he plucked the cup from your grip and went on to find another victim, not even bothering to listen when you said you literally spat on the cup.

Mark didn’t seem to be anywhere. The apartment wasn’t that big so if he was here, it would be easy to spot him. Maybe he decided not to show up after knowing you were coming. And honestly, part of you was relieved. As much as you wanted to talk to him, you still didn’t know what to say. 

I’m sorry I broke your heart, but I miss you so much and I did a lot of thinking and maybe we really shouldn’t be labeled as just friends but I don’t know if I love you, is that okay? That’s just stupid. This whole thing is stupid.

You wanted to leave. Parties have never really been your thing. You usually just go because Mark asked you to since he loves interacting with people. But you figured you needed some alcohol in your system, mainly as a distraction, but also to give you a boost of courage just in case. So you made your way to the kitchen, avoiding eye contact with anyone as much as possible.

You stopped in your tracks as you came to the kitchen. The sound of that laugh was all too familiar.

Great, you thought. Mark was there. And Mina was too. But so were Jeno and Jaemin who exchanged looks as soon as their eyes landed on you. They were all laughing about something before you came.

“You’re here!” Jaemin said a little too enthusiastically in a poor attempt to address the sudden increase of tension in the room.

“Hi,” you said, smiling sheepishly, purposefully avoiding Mark’s gaze which you could feel boring into you. “Just gonna get a drink.”

“Help yourself,” Jeno said. Jaemin smirked beside him. 

The refrigerator was just beside Mark. Just great, you thought again. You walked towards it, desperately trying to ignore the four pairs of eyes following your every move.

“Excuse me,” you muttered, still not looking at your best friend.

Mark took a step sideways before opening the fridge for you. You muttered a quick thanks before grabbing the first bottle your hands landed on, not even bothering to check what it was. You really just wanted to get out of there. Maybe the talking to Mark plan was flawed from the beginning because you clearly can’t find the courage in you to face him now.

Beside you, Mark clicked his tongue. He was so close that you could smell his perfume mixed with a bit of alcohol. It made your knees weak. 

He took the bottle from your hand and put it back before grabbing a different one and handing it to you. “The other one had vodka. Vodkas give you a headache, remember?” he said in a slightly annoyed tone.

“Oh.” Your voice sounded small even to your own ears. Not gonna lie, you wanted to cry at that moment. “Thanks.”

You could hear Jaemin snickering behind you but you couldn’t bring it in yourself to care. You turned to everyone and said a quick goodbye before dashing out of the kitchen.

Your heart was beating hard and rapidly and not because you moved too fast. You didn’t know why but it hurt seeing Mark like that, like he was okay, like nothing changed with the two of you. It hurt knowing that even after everything, he still knows you the best.

You wanted to run. You wanted to disappear. But you couldn’t leave without passing by the kitchen. Somehow, you know someone in there would stop you. If not Mark, then definitely Jaemin. But you really wanted to be alone. So you resorted to the next best thing. You whipped your phone out and sent Jaemin a text.

You: thanks for inviting me to this party. now i feel like shit :D

Jaemin: IM SORRY BUT DONT LEAVE YET TF

You:  i need to be alone and i cant leave without passing by the kitchen and seeing mark. so pls let me use your room for a while.

You: i wont do anything i promise. i just need to calm down.

Jaemin: fine but dont lock the door

You: okay thanks

The door to Jaemin’s room was at the other end of the apartment. You made your way through the noisy crowd, slipping from Renjun’s weird gimmicks when he tried to make you a victim once again, before finally reaching the quiet confines of Jaemin’s room.

The thin walls barely blocked the noise but at least there was no one else here. You sat at the edge of the bed and placed the beer bottle on the floor. You forgot you didn’t even manage to open it. So you just stared at your feet, trying to catch your breath even if you didn’t do anything. That heavy feeling on your chest was back again. It was now associated with being in Mark’s presence.

You started counting to ten to calm yourself down before burying your face on your palms, breaking down into sobs as soon as your forehead came in contact with your fingers. “God, why can’t I just…” you cried, “... admit it to myself already?”

You wanted to thrash around in the bed in frustration but you thought Jaemin didn’t deserve such a mess so you settled with getting up and lightly banging your head against the door. It’s a bad habit you do when you feel annoyed or frustrated. Mark has always been reminding you to stop before you hurt yourself.

Mark. Again. You groaned, hitting your head a little harder this time.

Someone knocked on the door making you stop. You took a step back, thinking you just imagined it. But there it was again.

“Someone’s here,” you said, trying to hide the sound of your voice breaking.

“I know. Can I come in?” It was Mark. There was no question. 

Your heart started pounding on your chest once again. You wanted to tell him to go away but you couldn’t find it in yourself to do so. 

He took your silence as a yes. He swung the door slightly and poked his head through the small opening. Your hands immediately flew to your face to hide the fact that you’ve been crying.

“You know, I came in here because I didn’t wanna see you when I pass by the kitchen if I leave then you come here making me look like a clown,” you said, your voice muffled by your hands.

Mark chuckled softly. “Why didn’t you wanna see me?”

You didn’t reply. Your face felt hot, not just because of the tears that just won’t stop falling but also because all the blood has come rushing to your cheeks.

Mark grabbed both your wrists and gently lowered your hands down, trying to see your face, but your head bent down as soon as it wasn’t covered. “Y/N, look at me,” he said, hands still on your wrists.

“No.”

“Are you crying?” The idiot crouched down to have a glimpse of your face making you whine and cover your face again. “Last I checked, I should be the one looking brokenhearted around here.”

“God I hate you,” you mumbled. “You ignored me for nearly four weeks and you come in here just to make fun of me.”

He let out an empty laugh. “Well, you did break my heart so…”

At that, you removed your hands from your face to look at him. You were going to say sorry but Mark had that smug look on his face that made you want to punch him. It was almost convincing if you weren’t so good at reading the real emotions in his eyes. His expression softened upon finally seeing you properly.

He looked away, not being able to hold your gaze either. That just confirmed how hard he was trying to keep up with the exterior he was showing everyone.

“I’m sorry,” you said, voice breaking.

He sighed.  “I told you. It’s okay.”

“But it’s not,” you cried. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t realize how easy it was to misread what we had because let’s face it, we don’t act like ‘just friends.’ I’m sorry because I was too blind to see how you felt even when you weren’t really trying to hide it. I’m sorry because even though I rejected you, I was so selfish that I still wanted to keep you for myself without realizing that you probably needed to be away from me to move on. I’m sorry because…” you swallowed.

Mark was just looking at you, eyebrows slightly raised in anticipation of what you were going to say next. You missed him. You missed that cute face of his. You missed being in his presence. You missed his voice and his laugh and how he loves teasing you even if he probably feels like shit inside. You missed everything. Four weeks have been too long without each other. Four weeks is too long without your best friend. Four weeks is too long without your home. And that’s when you realized…

“... I can’t let you go. And I might be too late, but I’m sorry that I only just realized why.”

“Why?” he asked. 

It was a simple question. Why? Yet it managed to carve out every single feeling you’ve ever felt for this boy. Every little moment he made you laugh. Every small heartbreak you get when he fails to keep his tiny promises. Every single night you ‘accidentally’ fell asleep next to each other. Every ounce of fulfillment you get when you finally convince him to sleep after a long day. Every goodnight. Every good morning. Everything.

“I love you,” you said. It sounded almost like an exhale.

For a moment, Mark didn’t reply. Your head immediately started swarming with unwelcomed thoughts. Maybe you were too late. You almost forgot about Mina who he seems to be having an excellent time with. Maybe he managed to move on within those four weeks. It’s possible, right? You had your chance and you missed it. 

Finally, Mark let out a laugh, his head falling down to look at the floor. “I told you you didn’t have to say it back,” he said, voice soft.

You shook your head. “I’m not saying it because you said it first,” you said. “I realize this might be the worst timing but I just thought you should know you weren’t the only one being stupid enough to fall for their best friend. I was just too dumb to realize that that’s what it was.”

“Why would it be the worst timing?” He frowned.

You felt like crying again. You really wish you had some alcohol in your system right now. Why is this whole confession thing taking so long? “‘Cause you’re dating Mina? Or trying to. I don’t know. I tried not keeping tabs on you because our friends are assholes who wouldn’t stop teasing me. She’s pretty, by the way. You two look good together.”

Mark laughed again. It was raw and real this time, and god, the way your chest tightened in endearment at the sound was so pure. “You thought me and Mina are dating?”

“Aren’t you? I’ve seen you guys together a lot.” Well, once. But you tend to overestimate things.

“No!” He snorted. “Jaemin and I are trying to get her and Jeno together. If anything, she made me realize that we definitely aren’t just friends.”

“Really?” Now you just feel stupid. But what else is new? It’s all you’ve been feeling lately. Come to think of it, Mark and Mina didn’t even come close to how you two act with each other.

“Really,” he said. “Friends don’t stay at each other’s place and cuddle with each other just to fall asleep, Y/N. Besides, I said I love you, didn’t I? Did you really think that’s just gonna go away that quickly?”

“Mark, I can’t even sort my feelings out. How am I supposed to figure out how yours work?” You sighed.

“Fine. Just to be clear, I still love you. Even if you don’t, I love you,” he said, taking both your hands and placing it on his shoulder before putting his on your waist.

“But I do.”

“Say it then.”

“I love you. Even if you’re the dorkiest person I know, I love you.” Your fingers tangled themselves in his hair. You’ve run your hands through his hair so many times before. You wondered why it never crossed your mind that you liked doing it not because his hair is soft but because you were sucker for the domestic feeling of it.

Mark couldn’t stop himself from smiling that he had to bury his face at the crook of your neck. “I’m not used to this, sorry.”

“Me neither,” you laughed.

When he finally composed himself, he pulled away just enough to look at you. All those times you’ve stood this close before does not even compare to how it’s like right now. This is the perfect mix of feeling new but familiar.

“You have no idea how many mornings I fought the urge to kiss you whenever we wake up next to each other,” he said in a soft voice.

“Well, nothing’s stopping you know, is there?” you muttered, eyes fluttering to his lips.

You pulled Mark down by the neck as he pulled you closer to him, your lips finally connecting. The idea of kissing him isn’t new to you. There were so many times before that you’ve found yourself inches away from his face and slamming your lips together wouldn’t have been such a bad idea. But this is the first you actually kissed him yet he felt so familiar that you were almost sure you’ve done this a million times before. His lips were soft against yours that it made you weak in the knees. If he weren’t holding onto you like he was, you probably would’ve crumpled already.

The two of you pulled away, breathless.

“Wow,” he breathed. “That didn’t even come close to how I imagined it would feel like.”

You laughed. “This whole night didn’t come close to how I imagined it would be like. I thought you were gonna keep on ignoring me. And honestly, I wouldn’t know how to cope anymore because I really, really miss you already. So thanks for saving me.”

“Stop making me blush. I don’t know how I can possibly love you more than this.”

You rolled your eyes but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. This was only one of the very few times that the reality went better than your expectations. But then again, maybe you and Mark have always been meant to happen. It was happening even before you realized it was. And now that you finally managed to sort how you both felt, there was no more wasting chances.

“Do I still have to ask you to be my girlfriend?” he asked.

“We’ve literally slept in the same bed so many times. I’d be more surprised if we’re not dating already,” you joked.

Mark grinned. “You’re literally the only one who didn’t realize that until today, but it’s okay, I still love you.”

You laughed. “Wanna go outside and pretend we didn’t make up? I’m 100% sure Jaemin betted on us.”

“I worry how your mind works sometimes, Y/N,” Mark said with a frown before kissing you on the forehead. “But let’s do it.”

You smiled. You’ve said it a lot but you really missed this proximity. You missed being able to hug him whenever you want, and now you can kiss him whenever you want too. You wanted to say you could get used to this, but the thing is… you already are.

[krsnbgirl]

Fly High! || Kageyama x Fem!Reader || Part 7

Summary: The first day of training camp has come to an end and the night is still young. After thinking about the boys’ current status at the camp, you spend some times with the rest of the managers. The topic of boys come up and you can’t help but spill your secret to them. As the night goes on, you end up at the gym and try to get in some personal training in when Kageyama shows up. You finally get to have a moment with the one person who has recently been taking up all of your thoughts. 

Pairing: Kageyama Tobio x Fem!Reader

Genre: Rom-Com, Slice of Life, Sports

Warnings: None

Word Count: ~2.5k

Author’s Note: As promised, here is part 7! I appreciate any interaction with this story, but it really does help if there is some feedback on it! Also, for anyone who is curious, the tag list is still open! And as always, this will be cross-posted on AO3 <3

Taglist: @misnmatchedsox​ @monviemoo​ @love-beyond-words​ 

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 5.5 || Part 6 || Part 7 || Part 8 || Masterlist

You bit your lip as you walked out of the girl’s bathroom with a towel wrapped around your neck. Your wet hair cascaded down as you mindlessly began to dry it. Your mind was elsewhere as flashbacks of the boys during their last match took up your attention. You were mentally going through your observations of the rest of their practice matches and compared it to how they were then to their current status. You knew that their loss against Seijoh was heavy on their minds and seeing how the other teams were really strong, it would obviously take a toll on your boys. Of course, that meant using this camp to their advantage to better themselves. You just winced every time that they had to do diving drills as punishment, which was basically the whole day for them. You wished there was something more that you could do and the boys always reassured you that it’s just a part of the process. But with Kageyama and Hinata in the mix, it gives you some relief to know that they could get some wins under their belt. Hinata’s change in attitude was worrying you as you remembered noticing that his head wasn’t in it as much as usual. You had followed his gaze at some point during their Nekoma match to find that Lev had caught everyone’s attention. He was a new power to reckon with on the team of cats, but you hoped that it wouldn’t stump your friend as much as he let on. Sighing, You gripped your towel in worry, wondering to see if the change of pace would ruin the boys’ team dynamics. Thankfully, the first day had come to an end and everyone was winding down for the night. You pushed away your worries and mentally reminded yourself to wake up earlier than the call time to work on some new strategies for the team.

“Welcome back, (Y/N)-chan!” One of the managers from Shinzen High greeted you. 

“How was your shower?” Shimizu asked as you put back your things into your bag. 

“It was good, haha. What have you guys been up to while I was gone?” 

“We were talking about the boys!” Suzumeda Kaori, one of the managers from Fukurodani, grinned as she hugged her pillow. 

The other girls in the room giggled as you raised an eyebrow at them. “Oh? So we’re starting now, huh?” 

“I mean why not? It means we have more time to gossip about them as the camp continues.” The manager from Ubugawa added. 

“They aren’t wrong, (Y/N)-chan, so let’s enjoy, hm?” Shimizu smiled at you. 

“I guess…” you grinned and got comfy in your futon. 

“(Y/N)-chan, do you have a thing for Kuroo or Bokuto? We saw you playing with them earlier!” one of the girls asked. 

You laughed so hard you had to clutch your sides. You frantically waved your hands and shook your head as they looked at you with questioning looks. “Nah, they’re like my brothers! Just like Nishinoya, I grew up with them.” 

“Eh? So that means they’re free to flirt with!” one of the girls cheered.

You shrugged and said, “Tetsuro can be a tease with girls but Koutaro is very oblivious, it’s like the only thing that goes on in his mind is volleyball.” 

“What about you, Kiyoko-chan? (Y.N)-chan? It could be from another school or even your own, but has anyone caught your eye?” Shirofuku Yukie, the other manager of Fukurodani, asked with a cheeky glint in her eyes. 

Shimizu shrugged and readjusted her glasses. “Not really, not at the moment anyways. They all share one brain cell so none has appealed to me in that way.” 

“Eh~ you’re just trying to act cool like always Kiyoko-chan!” 

The girls giggled and the attention was turned back towards you. You awkwardly glanced down at your hands and pursed your lips in contemplation to share what’s been on your mind. 

“Oh? I think she does like someone!” 

Shimizu grinned to herself as she had noticed you interacting more with a certain setter during practices. You sighed before looking down at your pillow and muttered his name underneath your breath. 

“What was that? We can’t hear you~” Kaori teased. 

“...K-Kageyama-kun…” you muttered just loud enough for them to hear. 

The girls shrieked as you hid your face behind your pillow and Shimizu comfortingly patted her shoulders. You felt your entire face warm up and groaned when you heard all of the comments from the girls. 

“That’s so cute!” 

“Aw and they’re both first years.”

“Wouldn’t that be hard though?” 

You shrugged and smiled to yourself, setting your pillow on your lap. “I know it’s still pretty early...but I’m okay with just being friends with him because I know how much volleyball means to him. I can just continue rooting for him as a manager and fan.” 

“That’s so romantic!” the girls said together and you laughed. 

The night continued on as the girls continued to talk about the boys and tips were shared on how to keep all their rowdiness at bay. Soon enough and one by one, the girls began to fall asleep. You sighed as you got up to turn off the lights after stuffing your phone in your pocket. You were the last one awake and still didn’t feel like going to sleep. Even after a long day like today, if your mind wouldn’t let you sleep, there was no way to relax. 

Slipping on a pullover hoodie, you quietly made your way out of the classroom and figured you might as well continue to work on your knee. You leisurely headed towards one of the gyms and turned on its light. ‘Thank goodness no one is awake…’ Grinning to the thought of finally having the entire gym to yourself, you went into its supply room and grabbed a jump rope and resistance band. Getting back onto the floor, you set the resistance band on the ground as well as the water bottle you brought with you. With a tap on your phone, you let music play and began to do some reps with the jump rope to warm up in the middle of the court.

“Um…” you heard someone say behind you. 

You stopped jumping and turned around in surprise to find Kageyama looking back at you. He was wearing grey sweats and a black hoodie with his hood on. You smiled as he looked at her set up and you shrugged. 

“I couldn’t sleep.” 

“Me neither.” He replied and slid his hood off, stepping into the gym. 

“Are you going to practice your serves?” 

He nodded silently and quickly made his way towards the basket that held the volleyballs. A comfortable silence fell upon you two as you each got into your zones. You had moved on to using the resistance band for some squats and stretching. Kageyama couldn’t help but keep an eye on you as he served, making sure that the balls never hit your corner. Once he had settled in with the basket, you had walked off and settled in the corner closest to the door so he would have to space. While doing his own practice, Kageyama couldn’t get over the fact that he missed seeing you in action today all because he failed his exam the first time. With a sigh he focused on the ball that was in his hands and began to serve as usual. He watched as it went towards the other side of the court, but was surprised to see you receiving the ball. 

“Shouldn’t you be stretching out your leg?” he asked in surprise. 

You shrugged and said, “I’m basically in the final phases. Ever since I became manager, I’ve been taking my treatment a lot more seriously. My therapist and doctor gave me the okay to slowly get back on to the court, just not as intense as I was before.” 

Kageyama nodded and you met his gaze before smiling at him. He watched as you walked towards the serving line and he unconsciously began to analyze your movements and positioned himself ready to receive the ball. But before he could fully register your serve, the ball had already flown right past him. You cheekily laughed at his reaction when he looked at you then at the ball in surprise. 

‘What speed and control…’  He thought to himself as he blinked back at you.

“Surprised?” you asked. 

Kageyama cleared his throat while he picked up the ball. Taking a deep breath, the setter readied for his turn as his gaze changed. He picked up on the challenging tone you gave him and if anyone knew him, they knew that he enjoyed being put up to a challenge. You smirked while silently watching his whole demeanor changed before your eyes. This was one of the sides of Kageyama you enjoyed because this was when he shone the brightest in your eyes.

“First to three?” he asked. 

Your eyes glinted in confidence as you stretched out your arms. You smirked and quickly braided your hair so it could stay out of the way while shaking out your legs. Finally with a determined smirk, you nodded. “You’re on, Kageyama-kun.” 

You gave it your all against each other as each served then hit the ball to try and beat their opponent. You managed to gain the first point as Kageyama missed to hit the ball he dove for. He tried to not let it affect him and playfully rolled his eyes. You gave him the peace sign and he shook his head in amusement. 

“I hope you’re not going easy on me.” You snickered.

He clicked his tongue and in the midst of your gloating, served the ball and aced it. Your jaw dropped and he smirked. “As if, shorty.” 

“Shorty?! And you cheated!” you huffed before jogging to grab the ball. 

“Remember to always stay alert on the court.” 

You rolled your eyes and shook your head with an amused smile on your face, “You will certainly be the death of me, Kageyama Tobio.” 

He simply shrugged and readied himself as he watched you close your eyes and walked up to the serving line. He doesn’t remember the last time he felt so relaxed yet challenged at the same time. It’s been so long since he was able to play against someone that lived and breathed the game just as much as he did. Of course there was Hinata, but the kid still had so much to learn. With the girl in front of him who smiled with calculated eyes as he ran and tried to spike the ball to score, Kageyama couldn’t help but crack the smallest smile as she ran towards it. The ball had bounced back over to his side and as he ran to hit it, he couldn’t believe he was actually having fun for once. 

You continued to play and eventually, Kageyama arose as the victor. Before he could stop himself, he pumped his fist with a bright smile on his face. A small ‘yes’ escaped his lips and you smiled to yourself as you watched him enjoy his little moment. Walking off to the side, you grabbed your water bottle and yawned. Kageyama approached you with a warm expression on his face after putting away the ball and said, “Good game, (L/N)-san.” 

You huffed as you checked the time on the wall and said, “It’s only because my knee started to act up that I couldn’t get the last one.” 

“Well we were tied for a while.” he muttered and looked down to see if her knee had swollen up. He lifted up the edge of his shirt to wipe away the sweat on his forehead and when you noticed, you immediately looked away and hoped he didn’t notice the light tinge of pink on your cheeks.

You passed your water bottle to him without saying anything and he wordlessly grabbed some water for himself while you busied yourself with your belongings. After straightening up from gathering the workout equipment, your eyes widened as you watched Kageyama drink some more water. 

‘Does he know that we just had an indi-y’know what, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?’ Shaking your head rapidly, you put on your hood and quickly muttered that you were going to put away the stuff you brought out.

Kageyama gave you a confused look before picking up your phone for you and decided to wait for you by the entrance. You had returned with your hands in the pocket of your hoodie and you gave him a grateful smile for holding your things. 

“Thanks Kageyama-kun.” you muttered and grabbed it from him before you guys walked towards the building where the girls were sleeping in. 

“I didn’t know you could play like that.” he said after walking for a bit. 

You looked up at the sky as the moon shone brightly and he matched your pace. It felt so refreshing to be able to almost play as how you did before. Your game with Kageyama surprised you since you didn’t even remember when was the last time you had a one on one with someone. Shrugging, you smiled and said, “I didn’t know I could either until my body moved on its own.” 

“...I’m glad we got to play together.” 

“You are a formidable opponent, Kageyama-kun. I hope to someday play against you and Shoyo-kun and receive that quick myself at my best potential.” 

He had the smallest smirk on his face as he imagined that scenario. A two versus two match with the annoying tangerine against you and whoever you pick at your best? Now that was something he could look forward to. Kageyama wanted to see you in action because you were better than most players he’s come across. You also had the same look he has on the court while he reads the players and tries to figure out what’s next. During the small game, he felt like you were both playing a game of chess to see who could outsmart the other. It was also probably why he found himself becoming more comfortable around you. You were both very similar on the court when it came to decision making. You chuckled as you looked up to find Kageyama lost in his own thoughts. A new spark could be seen in his eyes as you slowly approached the entrance of your building.

Kageyama stuffed his hands in his pockets and watched as you made your way up the stairs and you turned around to smile at him. Tucking a few strands of your hair behind your ear, you bit your lip before bowing. 

“Thanks for tonight, Kageyama-kun. It was fun getting to play with you.” 

“...Tobio.” 

You tilted your head to the side as Kageyama looked to the side, his hand rubbing his neck as he blushed. 

“...Call me Tobio.” he said a little louder. 

You couldn’t hide the wide smile that had managed to break out behind your hands as you tried to hide your burning cheeks. Kageyama met your warm gaze and relaxed as he looked into your eyes. He sighed and gave you a small smirk. 

“I don’t want to lose that small tangerine.” 

You giggled and nodded as you gripped the bottom of her hoodie. Rocking on your heels, you smiled at him once more.

“Alright then...goodnight Tobio. Sleep well.” 

He waited for you to open the door before saying, “...Goodnight (Y/N).” 

[just-a-happening]

Hide & Seek | P.P

Summary: In which a babysitting job goes awry for Peter and he needs your help tracking down a very special Avenger’s daughter.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 2,705

Author’s Note: okay so this one is super long but I really, really love how it turned out. I’ve had this idea brewing in my head for a while and I didn’t think I’d ever get around to writing it because I didn’t think I’d be as into writing Peter stories but this might make me reconsider. I like to think this takes place in the months between Endgame and FFH. enjoy! xx

          There was a boy on your fire escape.

You recognized him almost immediately. He worked at the station behind you in Intro to Mechatronics with Ned Leeds, he sat two rows ahead of you in Chemistry and he was on the National Decathlon team with your friend MJ.

He also happened to live two floors above you.

Peter had his back to you, his body bent over the railing as if looking for something he’d dropped. You could hear him—“Shit! Shit! Shit!”— through the slightly ajar window, which you’d left cracked the night before.

You raised a fist to knock on the glass (softly, so you wouldn’t scare him) but before you got the chance, he perked up and whipped around to face you so fast you were the one who ended up startled.

His eyes met yours and his face flooded with disappointment.

You tried not to take it personally.

          “Oh! H-Hey,” he said, struggling to keep his tone casual. His hands hovered at his side awkwardly while he decided where to put them. In the end he just crossed them over his chest, still fidgeting. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to, um, scare you. I just thought you might be someone else.”

You raised an eyebrow. “You were expecting someone else?” You made a point to gesture to your things. “Inside my bedroom?”

He winced, rubbing the back of his neck. “In my defence, I didn’t, uh, necessarily know this was your room, um, specifically.”

Over the last few months you and Peter had formed an odd kind of friendship.  

Entire apartment complexes were built around the city in the last year to accommodate the blipped. Families started reappearing in their old homes only to find that they were now someone else’s new one. In the chaos you and your family just so happened to have ended up in the same building as Peter Parker and his aunt.

Peter was always around, of course, which made it easy to fall into each other in a very casual, easy way. Many nights when you were too nervous to sleep you’d climb out onto the fire escape only to find Pete doing the same. You never talked about why you were both up, a kind of mutual understanding, so instead, you talked about everything else.

But sometimes you would run into him in class or you would both awkwardly reach for the front door and he would right through you—like you weren’t really there.

Everyone was recovering from the blip, but something told you Peter Parker lost more than just five years.

He was bouncing nervously on the balls of his feet, his eyes scanning the levels below you. Curious, you pushed what was left of the pane up and copied him, your gaze landing on nothing other than Mrs. Sardowski’s rapidly wilting house plants. You frowned, sitting on the window’s ledge.

          “So,” you said, pulling his attention back to you. “What are you looking for?”

He let out a humourless chuckle. “It’s less of a what and more like a … who?”

You squinted up at him, the mid-morning sun peaking between the fire escape’s bars. “I hope you weren’t babysitting Parker because, y’know, parents don’t usually appreciate that kind of thing.”

You meant it as a joke but then Peter grimaced and you made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a horrified gasp.

          “Oh.”

He groaned, throwing his hands up to cover his face. “I know, okay! We were playing hide and seek and I told her—I told her, I swear—that outside was off limits but she doesn’t listen! She never listens!”

You let out a low whistle.

          “I’ve never babysat before!” he justified frantically, his eyes wide and scared. He started pacing the fire escape, the metal rattling with every step. “Pepper had this–this thing and Happy’s in Coney Island with May and I thought ‘how hard could it be!’ and it was actually really, really hard and now she’s gone and—”

You frowned, your brain making the connections painfully slow. “Pepper? As in Potts?”

If he’d heard you he gave no sign of it. He’d finally come to a stop at the far end by your brother’s window, his hands curing around the railing so tight his knuckles were turning white. You climbed all the way out, careful not to trip on  the rusting metal bars.  

He was rambling. “I’ve looked everywhere and I can’t find her anywhere, she’s gone! What if she’s not even here? What if she’s just wandering the streets or worse what if–”

          “Pepper Potts,” you repeated slowly. “The Pepper Potts? The one married to–?”

Peter didn’t stop. “God, if I lose Morgan I don’t–I don’t know what I’m going to do. How am I supposed to tell them? Who am I kidding, I can’t tell them! They would never forgive me. Hell, if anything happens to her I’ll never forgive m–”

Morgan. You’d heard that name before. After everyone came back and we found out who’d finally defeated Thanos you remember watching a telecast in one of the shelters that said he was survived by his wife and his daughter—Morgan.

You held up a hand and he shut up, your panicked gaze meeting his. “Wait … are you–are you actually saying you lost Iron Man’s daughter?”

He didn’t say anything, but by the way his shoulders fell in defeat he didn’t have to.

          “Oh my God, Peter–”

He winced, his eyes pleading. “Help me. Please, help me.”

Your mouth fell open, trying to find the right words and failing spectacularly. Instead you just sputtered pathetically before finally settling on: “I can’t!”

He let out an exasperated sigh that sounded more like a whine. “Why not?!”

A good question. Part of you knew you wanted to help him, but another part, a much smaller part, begged you to stay out of it—you didn’t want to be one half of the duo that lost Morgan Stark.

But you knew that wasn’t actually it. Things with Peter had taken a turn for the weird, your heart practically beating out of it’s chest anytime you so much as caught sight of him. And your late night talks were getting longer with every passing evening, most of the time well into morning.

You were afraid of how an entire afternoon spent with Peter would make you feel.

You swallowed hard, motioning to vaguely back at your room. “I have homework! So much homework that I really need to finish because I really can’t fail the exam.”

He ignored you, peering into your room as if to corroborate your excuse—which wasn’t an excuse—but you knew it was pointless. You’d left your notes on your desk across the room, most of them half-hidden under textbooks.

          “You’re taking Molecular Cell Biology?” he asked and your eyebrows shot up into your hairline. You glanced back to make sure your notes were where you left them and sure enough there they were, barely even legible.

For the second time today you were left speechless. “Yeah, I am but how did–”

He didn’t let you finish. “And you’re failing Molecular Cell Biology.”

          “Hey!” you shoved him lightly, momentarily forgetting what you were asking.

He looked back at you, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry–I’m sorry. But you are,” you glared and he held his hands up defensively. “You are! But you don’t have to be. I can help you–tutor you! I can tutor you.”

You considered it. You knew that Mrs. Palomino had maxed out her extra credit assignment threshold for you and you were down to your last chance to pass her class with a respectable grade.

You sighed. “Okay fine Parker,” you conceded and he all but cheered. “I’ll help you. But I swear to God if I don’t get an A …”

He was already climbing the fire escape, taking the stairs two by two. “I’ll get you better than an A! I’ll get you an A plus! An A plus, plus!”

You followed him, scowling at the back of his head. “That doesn’t exist!”

You ended up in his bedroom, cross-legged on his navy plaid comforter listening as he numbered off the things Morgan liked form the floor while also evaluating his choice on wall decor. He had maps and posters and random scribbled notes in red, messy handwriting.

You let your mind wander to a future where being in his room was normal and being in his bed was normal and asking him to join you on it was normal and you didn’t have to guess what was happening behind those kind eyes because he would want to tell you.

He was in the middle of contemplating whether we should chance the subway or get the cops involved when his voice broke suddenly broke through your distracted thoughts. “Are you listening?”

You blinked a few times, trying to bite down the blush creeping into your cheeks. “Morgan likes spare parts, hamburgers and sour gummy worms,” you repeated dutifully, hoping to God he wouldn’t ask you why you were suddenly flustered.

He didn’t.

          “Right. She also really likes cats, don’t forget cats. Which is funny because Tony wasn’t really a pet guy,” he mumbled, his gaze suddenly a million miles away. “He did like to take in strays, though.”

You knew that once upon a time Peter was Tony Stark’s intern, but the affection in his voice was so visceral you felt it in your own chest.

          “You know what I still can’t figure out?” you asked abruptly.

He glanced at you. “What’s up?”

          “How did you end up babysitting Tony Stark’s daughter?” you asked and you watched as his lips turned up in a ghost of a smile. “You were snapped too, so you barely knew Morgan, right?”

          “Right,” he said, in a voice right above a whisper. Then he chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh, I guess it’s complicated.”

          “Complicated how?”

He looked like he was struggling with what to say next. “Well, when Tony uh, you know, I wanted to help with whatever I could even though I wasn’t, uh, his intern anymore. So,I told Pepper to call me whenever and it turns out she needed a lot of help with Morg.”

You wanted to ask him more about it, but it felt too personal. So instead, you focused on Morgan and where a six year old girl could possibly want to go. And suddenly, it came to you. You knew where Morgan was and you didn’t have to take a subway or call the NYPD to find her.

You leaped off the bed, eyes wide. “Get up,” you said, but he just stared up at you quizzically from his spot on the floor. You nudged him with your foot excitedly, “ Get up!”

And he did. Reluctantly.

          “Think about it,” you explained impatiently. “What has burgers, sour gummy worms and a  cute kitty cat?”

You could practically see the gears turning in his head as he thought about it and hear the ‘click’ in his brain when he finally got it.

He jumped up. “Delmar!”

The next few minutes were a blur. You both scrambled to Peter’s front door and ducked into the elevator before the doors could close and took it four floors down to the lobby, where you were off again out the door and onto the street.

A fire destroyed Delmar’s Deli years ago and after the blip things got even more messy. But he stayed in Queens and ended up relocating to a new deli just a few blocks from your apartment, a deli you’d come to know and love.

You were sprinting a few paces behind Peter but when you finally made it to the familiar store front, you both reached for the handle at the same time, which you immediately realized was silly because you didn’t even know Morgan so you stood back and let him walk in first.

Delmar’s was as comforting as it was cluttered. You skirted past discarded magazine racks and an impressive candy selection on your way to the back, which is where Delmar made his world-famous (according to him) sandwiches and burgers. He was there now, laughing at something someone you couldn’t see said.

          “Hey Mister Delmar,” Peter greeted cheerfully, not even out of breath.

You, on the other hand, were practically gasping for breath, supporting yourself with the topping display, your side pressed to the cool glass. You searched the place for the bodega’s unofficial cat, Murph, who always came up and curled himself around your ankles when you came in but he was nowhere in sight.

          “Peter!” Delmar replied happily. He glanced over at you and his smile widened, “Chiquita!”

You giggled at the nickname and waved.

          “Mister Delamar, have you seen a little girl?” Peter asked and you could tell he was trying not to sound as desperate as he felt. “Her name’s Morgan and I’m really hoping she’s here.”

Delmar glanced down at his feet. “Morgancita, I think he found you.”

As he said it you watched in total amazement as Morgan Stark crawled out from behind the sandwich station, Murph sitting happily in her arms. Until this moment you’d only seen Morgan on the TV, and the screen didn’t do her justice. She was a carbon copy of her dad, all dark eyes full of mischief. She cooed at Murph one last time before putting him down gently.

She put her hands behind her back and frowned up at Peter, who looked so relieved you worried he might pass out.

          “You win Pete,” she said sadly.

Peter crouched down in front of her, looking torn between wanting to  hug her and throttle her. In the end he settled on ruffling her hair.

          “Morgan, never ever do that again, okay?”

She furrowed her brows adorably. “But Pete, I’m going to have to find better hiding places if I’m going to win.”

Peter’s eyes softened. “Just promise you’ll play by the rules next time.”

Morgan didn’t look happy, “But that’s boring.”

          “Promise?” Peter said, holding out his pinky.

Morgan watched the pinky with one of the most calculating looks you’d ever seen. But after a few seconds, she shrugged and wrapped her tiny pinky around Peter’s. “Promise.”

Then they both turned to face you and you were suddenly incredibly nervous but you didn’t have enough time to contemplate what to say because before you knew it Morgan’s dark gaze landed on you.

She tilted her head, “Who are you?”

Peter placed a hand on her back and smiled softly at you, and you felt heat flare up in the pit if your stomach. “She’s a friend of mine. We go to school together and she helped me find you.”

“Isn’t that cheating?” Morgan asked, narrowing her eyes at you.

Peter rolled his eyes. “Not when you break the rules, Cymorg.”

She fixed her attention back to you. “Hi,” she said, holding out her hand like a miniature professional. “I’m Morgan.”

You smiled down at her, taking her fingers in yours. “It is very nice to meet you, Morgan.”

You bent down so you were level with her and beckoned her closed, as if to tell her a secret. She leaned in, Peter watching you both curiously.

“For the record, if it wasn’t for me, you would have won,” you whispered. “He had no idea.”

She smiled up at Peter and said, “I like her.”

He was looking at you in a way that made you dizzy. “Me, too.”

          “And she’s really pretty.”

You don’t know who flushed brighter: you or Peter.

[faustrinus]

The First Stages Of Learning How To Love

❥ Drarry For the last month, Harrry had been fidgeting with a strange toy that George had given Ron in exchange for his help in the Weasleys Wizards Wheezes. It was a small, shiny object, but since no one knew what it did, Harry got to keep it. It seemed to help Harry with his nervousness- but, how could the boy who lived be nervous? After facing deathly experiences so many times? Well, the thing is; it was another kind of nervousness. It was the wave of shame that hit Harry when he noticed his crush staring back at him, or the tension when they are sitting really close and their thighs touch with each other. When someone says something funny and that person laughs big and loudly, and the poor unfortunate soul that's in love with them can't help but wish that smile was for them and only them. Yes, that kind of nervousness. And the damn butterflies came again when he spotted him entering the Great Hall. Fuck Draco Malfoy and his perfect hair, beautiful features and elegant moves. “Harry?” Hermione called his attention, it seemed like she had been speaking for the last few minutes but the boy wasn’t paying attention to her, “What’s on your mind?” Harry opened his mouth to say something but he got cut off when Ron sat next to him, big dark circles under his eyes. “I hate Potions. I hate Potions so much that if I could go back in time to kill whoever invented the subject- I would, no doubts.” Hermione raised an eyebrow, “Well, that’s what you get after you were mean to Crookshanks last night, no help coming from me.” Harry giggled a little, looking at his two friends. Not even a war could change who they were as people. “It’s a cat, Hermione.” “Well, he’s certainly smarter than you sometimes.” Ron snorted, but still smiled a little after doing it, “Thank you for that, girlfriend.” Hermione blushed, ignoring the now amused Ronald Weasley that was watching her expression with too much interest, “You were going to say something, Harry. What was it?” “Nothing important.” “Well, it has to be,,” she spoke in her most reprimanding tone possible, “Since I was talking to you about this assignment we have to do in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and it’s very important.” “For the start of the year, they are really pushing us, huh?” Harry rolled his eyes, “What is it about?” “Weren’t you paying attention to the last class?” Harry tried to remember. The only thing he retained for that class was how close Malfoy was sitting to him and that he smelled really good, like lemons and something fresh. “Not really.” “And why is that?” “Harry’s got a little crush,” claimed Ginny, who appeared out of nowhere, claiming her place next to Hermione, “It’s pretty evident.” Harry tensed and suddenly his two best friends were staring at him with suggestive looks, waiting for an answer. He couldn’t give it to them as if it were nothing- and he couldn't lie, because he was a pretty shit liar. After spending his whole life trying to save the whole wizarding world and never thinking about what he wanted, being head over heels with someone was a strange feeling. “Well, hello to you too, Ginny,” he spoke, trying to redirect the attention, “I didn’t know you were having breakfast with us today.” The girl rolled her eyes and hit playfullyt one of Harry’s arms, a smirk appearing on her lips, “Oh, c’mon, do not play the fool. I can read you like an open book.” Harry felt himself blushing, but he couldn’t deny that Ginny was in fact, saying the truth. After all, they'd known each other for so long that she often could read him better than he could read himself. Though their relationship hadn't worked out, they were still close friends. Soon after they broke up, Ginny discovered she had a crush on Luna Lovegood and time later, Harry noticed his attraction to Draco Malfoy. Ginny’s situation was a little bit easier considering she wasn’t enemies with Luna before all the stuff that happened. People wouldn’t be too shocked to see them together or if the Ravenclaw reciprocated her feelings. “So you know who is Harry’s crush, Ginny?” Asked Ron, one of his hands on his chest, “I thought we were your best friends, Harry. And you told my sister first?” Harry had wanted to slam his head against the table ever since the topic had arrived in the conversation, “I don’t have a crush,” he assured them, “And if I did I wouldn’t tell Ginny.” The girl stuck out her tongue in a mocking gesture, “Oh, but you do have a crush.” Hermione (who had been looking at Harry since he started to act more and more nervous) hit the table gently, drawing the attention to her, “Harry, if you do, you don’t have to tell us who it is...” she laughed softly, “but remember you are a terrible liar.” After she spoke, the table fell silent. Harry just wished that the earth could swallow him so he could escape the conversation, but just standing up and leaving the Great Hall when it was at its fullest looked too suspicious, and the last thing he wanted was for people to stare at him. “Fine,” he mumbled, “I do have a crush on someone, happy?” Ginny nodded furiously with the brightest grin on her face, while Hermione and Ron just seemed surprised- of course, they were acting. They were trying to make their friend feel more comfortable, but it was crystal clear they believed it before Harry said it was the truth. Harry glanced at the blond boy that was sitting alone at what used to be the Slytherin table (because now everyone could sit wherever they wanted) and thanked every spiritual being he could think of that he wasn’t looking at their table. If he did, Harry would die right there without having time to react. “So… any clues on the lucky person?” “Ginny,” Ron scolded her, “don’t make Harry more uncomfortable.” “I just think he deserves to be happy after so much shit,” she excused herself, ignoring the look Ron gave her for swearing. "I'm sorry, Harry." An apologetic smile decorated her freckled face. Harry accepted the apologies, nodding, “Don’t worry. Just… don’t make a big deal out of this. It's not like I actually have a chance, anyway.” Ron looked confused, “But you are Harry Potter! You are practically a legend! who wouldn’t like to be with you?” “The war ended. I’m just… Harry. I don’t have anything special besides this dumb scar.” Hermione took her special edition of The Ministry of Magic: A guide and smacked Harry on the head with it, making a soft thump sound. He was about to complain when she shut him off with her finger. “Harry, you’re a lot more than that. You’re amazing at Quidditch! you’re also very good at defensive spells. You’re creative, brave and a good leader.” “Yeah,” agreed Ron, “you’re also an extremely caring friend and fun company to be around, I always have fun when I’m with you.” “And in case you're feeling insecure,” Ginny was the last to say something, “You’re a very good boyfriend. Very pleasant kisses.” “Ginny!” “What? Sometimes people are insecure about their kissing skills.” Harry chuckled to hide the fact he was becoming as red as a tomato, “Thank you,” he scratched his neck, “I guess.” “Is that enough for you to feel like you have a chance?” Harry felt his stomach twist into knots again, but rather than some mere butterflies, they felt more like an elephant stampede, “Maybe.” “Good.” ─────────────────────────────────────── Two weeks later, Harry was still mulling over the conversation he'd had with his friends. They did have some good points- he wasn't that bad. And really, everything could happen. He didn't expect Ron and Hermione to be together, but they were. He also didn't expect for Ginny to get in a relationship with Luna in the two weeks that had passed, but she did. Maybe… he just had to wait for the right opportunity to take. It seemed like destiny was totally in his favour (or against him, it depends) when he collided with the person that was owning his thoughts. The one and only, Draco Malfoy. “Be more careful next time, Potter,” he said, but his voice wasn't as harsh as Harry expected it to be- it actually sounded kind of gentle “also, your wand fell.” Harry quickly put himself back together and muttered a low Thanks while picking up his wand. Draco was still standing there, watching him. Was he waiting for something? thought Harry, Maybe this the chance I have been expecting all this time. “Malfoy?” Draco arched an eyebrow, “Potter?” “Would you like to study with me for the Defense Against the Dark Arts exam?” The question that flew on the air caught Draco with his guards down. He tilted his head a little as if he was asking if that was a joke or if Harry was being serious. A long, awkward silence elapsed, and Harry was just about to apologize and run for the bathrooms to hide when Draco answered. “That would be… nice,” Draco answered, still sounding unsure, “but why me?” “Why...not?” Responded Harry, confused. Draco laughed, his head going back with it. It was the first time Harry had seen him laugh since the war, and he loved it so much he wanted to push him against the wall and steal his air in the most desperate kiss ever. “You're really funny without noticing, Potter.” Draco said while viewing outside the castle, “What do you think about working outside?” ─────────────────────────────────────── Since that day, Harry could say he and Draco were...friends, to say something. They started sitting right next to each other in all the classes they had in common, sometimes escaping the Great Hall to eat outside or going to the library to read those huge books the professors gave them. Needless to say, most of the teachers were glad that the boys had a beautiful relationship compared to how they used to treat each other before. The most fun thing to do with Draco was to sit under the big tree that grew in front of the Black Lake, working on their homework and then talking about whatever they were thinking. Sometimes Draco would rant about how funny was the fact that the only spell Harry always used was Expelliarmus, and Harry would laugh about the fact that Draco used to come to school in a suit (that he looked very good in but Harry wasn’t going to say that out loud. At least, not yet). “Seriously, Potter, why did we hate each other so much when we were younger?” Harry smiled at him, and for one second he was sure he saw Draco's face getting subtly red. “I don’t know. You were kind of annoying. I was also annoying.” Draco nodded, “True, but you had the right to be. You were new to the wizarding world and everyone was expecting you to be the greatest wizard in the whole universe. That’s a lot of pressure.” Harry kept the silence for a minute, admiring the views that Hogwarts offered. It felt like home, this school was his home- and he had to leave it after this year. Everyone felt nostalgic after spending most of your time in a place and then leaving it, but there was so much more to it. Harry lived his most life-changing experiences there, he met the people that filled his heart. He met Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville, Luna, Remus, Professor McGonagall… He met Draco, the boy that was sitting next to him whose hair was shining down the sunlight. “Yeah. I guess it was,” he agreed with a whisper, “But you didn’t have it easy either.” Draco looked down stiff but hummed from Harry to continue what he was saying. “I hope you don’t… blame yourself for everything that happened, Draco. Because I don’t blame you. You were a child, you just were trying to do what was best for your family and your pride. And I did the same.” When Harry realized he said Draco's name, he coughed to hide his sudden embarrassment. It came to him as something natural to say, but he didn’t know if Draco felt the same sensation.  Draco took a rock that was nearby and threw it into the lake, watching it disappear into the distance, “Thank you… Harry,” Harry grinned when hearing his name, and he was sure that now the blond boy was blushing hard because of the intimate moment they were having. Could it mean something? “Any more words of wisdom coming from you, Harry?” Harry accommodated himself better, moving a little bit closer to Draco. He didn’t try to move away, instead, he leaned a bit on Harry. Their shoulders were touching and their hands were dancing near each other, doubtful and nervous. “Can I...?” Draco nodded and that was enough for Harry to grab his hand, intertwining their fingers slowly. Draco squeezed softly as a response and they felt the wonderful emotion of knowing that something greater was about to come. They had found that place where they felt comfortable, where they felt like they fitted for the first time in so many years. It felt natural. “I...I do have more words of wisdom.” Harry broke the silence, screaming internally because he was holding hands with Draco Malfoy. “Care enough to share them?” “Somebody once told me that we've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on.” “Sounds like someone really wise told you these words.” “Yes, it was someone very wise.” Draco smiled and rested his head on Harry's shoulder, the cold breeze coming from the lake made them shiver, but it didn't matter because both of them were genuinely happy after so much suffering. After so many sacrifices, being in love or enjoying someone’s company was a silly thought. But silliness couldn’t feel better. “This is nice.” “It is…” Harry commented, his impulsive and nervous personality gaining against his composure, “I’m sorry if my hand sweats.” Draco giggled and Harry knew that he would embarrass himself a hundred times just to hear that laugh. ─────────────────────────────────────── They continued holding hands as they studied in the library or relaxed on the school grounds, far away from the prying eyes of others. Harry knew that he should know that it meant something, but Harry was too oblivious for that. He was too oblivious to know that after a whole week of meeting every day and holding hands, Draco might be expecting something more. But was he? Clearly, they had something going on, but it didn’t have a name. Harry knew from the first day that he wanted to leave everything in the past and start again his story with the Malfoy, but was Draco on the same page? sometimes he would lay down next to Harry and laugh at funny clouds, or even play with Harry’s hair when he was falling asleep after a difficult match of Quidditch. All the signals could be read as something evident- but were they ready to take another step...? “Harry!” Hermione called him, running to keep up his pace, “Merlin, you’re fast. Where are you going?” Ah, yes. Harry hadn’t talked about the crush thing with his friends since the first breakfast in the Great Hall. He was sure Ginny had seen him walking with Draco one or two times, but Ron and Hermione just received the I have things to do explanation and Harry would then leave. After one week or two, it was okay, but a whole month had almost passed and they didn’t have any idea of what Harry was doing in his free time. They respected his privacy, but it was becoming weird not to see him that much as they were used to. “I’m going to the Black Lake… why?” “Oh, great! I’m going too, I miss spending time with you.” Harry stopped walking, his hands shyly gestured to Hermione to stop too, she did, a confused expression standing out on her face. “Hermione… I would prefer to go alone, okay?” “...Are you mad at me and Ron? Because I promise you we won’t fight that much if you come back and spend time with us. We are worried about you.” Of all the things Harry expected to hear, that was the last one he thought of. Mad at his friends? He could see Hermione was troubled about the whole thing since she was acting uneasy and insecure, the total opposite of her whole persona. “What? No, I’m not mad at you or Ron.” “Really?” “Yes, really. Now…” he pulled her aside, “It’s… I should have told you before, I’m sorry.” “What's going on, Harry?” He breathed, trying to come up with a summary of everything that had happened, “Remember the conversation about my crush that we had like a month ago? well, I’m… making some progress with that person, okay? we have been meeting these days and It’s going really well.” “Oh, Harry,” Hermione left her books on the ground to jump a little and hug her friend, scaring him a little bit on the process, “I’m sorry for making assumptions. And I’m really proud you’re chasing what you want!...but Ginny told us she has seen you with Malfoy a lot.” …. “Oh.” Harry was about to turn back and run to the Black Lake when Hermione grabbed his wrist, narrowed eyes scanning Harry, “Your crush is…. Malfoy?” “Yes…..?” Answered Harry, not knowing if Hermione’s expression was good or bad, “I’m sorry if that bothers you, ’Mione.” “It’s… surprising. And I'm sure is going to take Ron by surprise too when he finds out. But people can change, and if he makes you feel happy. I’m all about it.” “You sound like a mother.” “Go to your date before I hex you,” she elbowed him playfully, “and tell….Draco, that I’m sorry for punching him a few years ago. But he deserved it.” “Yeah, he did,” Harry laughed, but nodded anyway, “I’ll tell him.” ─────────────────────────────────────── When Harry finally reached the spot where Draco was supposed to be waiting for him, he was caught by surprise when Draco wasn't there. Instead, some students were laughing under the tree, throwing rocks at the Lake. Where could have Draco gone? “Hey, Potter,” one of the guys called him, and Harry rolled his eyes because he knew he was one of the main assholes in his same year, “We were waiting for you.” “For me?” Harry looked around, noticing that everything felt a little bit...fishy, “Why?” “Oh, well,” one of the girls crossed her arms, “Rumor has it you have been spending a lot of time with Draco Malfoy.” “...What?” “We have seen you.” Certainly, Harry didn't expect them to know. He and Draco had tried everything to be subtle, just because they knew not everyone would be happy about them getting along better. But why did these people care? “Okay… And why is that any of your business?” Harry hissed, his right hand searching for his wand. “I thought after saving the whole Wizarding World you'll be smarter, Potter. He's a Death-Eater, remember?” “I remember. But he isn't one anymore.” “Once a Death-Eater always a Death-Eater,” Harry could swear he saw a strange mark sticking out the guy's arm, “Did you forget that?” “People can change.” “Yeah, I guess they can. But didn't that asshole try to kill you?” Harry snapped, “Don't call him that!” All of the group laughed, taunting their pockets for their wands. Harry didn't want to fight anymore after the war, but they were surely testing him. “Let's do this the…. muggle way, shall we? You were raised by them, maybe it's more comfortable for you.” And before Harry could distract them and run, the biggest guy in the group pounced on him, knocking them both to the ground. Harry was trying to get up, but the guy was twice his size. He didn't waste any time, smashing his fist into Harry's face. Despite the trickle of blood running from his nose, he was grateful that his glasses had fallen off his face, unbroken. The rest of the group stopped cheering when a voice a few meters again shouted: “Stupefy!” Harry managed to see Draco's silhouette casting the spell before the guy on top of him flew and fell unconscious next to him, his friends staring at his motionless body with surprise. Draco was getting closer, and with each step he took the students acted more and more anxious, deciding at the end to run in different directions to escape from the cold gaze the boy was giving them. “Are you okay… Harry?” Harry let out a small nod and got up carefully, observing how his shirt was getting stained by the blood that was dripping from his face, “I have to say, this is not the first time someone broke my nose, but yes, I'm okay.” Draco released the air he was holding and arched an eyebrow to the guy laying on the ground, falling on his back probably hurt, but he didn't care to be honest, “What an asshole.” “Couldn't agree more, but I would rather not have him in here,” Harry complained softly about the pain of his broken nose, but before healing himself he pointed his wand at the guy's chest, “Rennervate!” The guy woke up disoriented and unstable, falling to his knees when he tried to get up. His eyes followed Harry's face and then Draco's, both of them watching him with unreadable expressions, but definitely not friendly ones. And of course, when the guy noticed his friends had left him alone, he ran to the castle so fast that someone could have thought something was chasing him. Draco aimed his wand at the running student, but Harry stopped him by grabbing his wrist, denying softly “It's fine.” “It's not fine,” he mumbled, “he left you looking like a mess.” Harry laughed but instantly winced at the pain, leaning on the tree behind him to search for support, “I'm going to break a record if my nose gets broken one more time.” “You are stupid.” Draco began to walk closer to Harry, but stopped himself midways, “Can I...?” Harry looked at him confused, “Can you what...?” “Touch you,” Draco chuckled, and when Harry flushed, he added, "to heal you, dumbass." “Oh, I mean… if you want, yes.” And then Dracos free hand was grabbing Harry's face by his cheek, his other wand pointing at his nose, “Episkey,” the blood stopped dripping. “Thank you… for all of that, you know, saving me from these idiots.” “You were ready to fight back,” whispered Draco, not moving his hand even though he had finished healing the green-eyed boy, “But you didn't, why?” “I guess I was a little bit distracted when they attacked.” “But that doesn't make sense,” Draco was expecting answers, but Harry didn't seem to be paying much attention to the conversation- if the way he was looking at Draco's lips was any indication.” “Draco… Can I kiss you?” When the question came off from Harry's lips Draco let out a little yep and almost jumped back in surprise, releasing the grip he had on his wand, “What...?” Harry was already regretting his words after seeing the opposite reaction, so he quickly shook his head while moving his hands awkwardly, “I'm sorry! I don't know why I said that. Just forget it, okay? maybe I should go and get something from the kitchens-” Draco gripped Harry's wrist and asked a new question, this time sounding more confused rather than surprised, “Did you mean to say that?” “Er… Yes? I have wanted to kiss you since the first day ” Harry clarified to Draco's shock, “And every time you get close to me I get nervous and I know is dumb because we were becoming very good friends but is something that was really fucking me up and-” Draco grabbed Harry's shirt collar and pulled him into a kiss. If Harry thought he had any idea about kissing- all of them were destroyed when Draco kissed him. It was such an overwhelming feeling that he hummed into their mouths, grasping Draco's shoulders. As they deepened the kiss, Harry felt how his eyes were becoming watery at the sensation of the cold hands holding him caressing his face. He was happy. After what it was a very magical moment they both cut the kiss, breathing heavily. “Should I have asked before doing that? “Just do it next time if you don’t want me to die from a heart attack.” “Oh, so there will be a next time, Potter?” “Shut up and kiss me, Malfoy.” ───────────────────────────────────────

[professional-benaddict]

🖤 shoelaces 🐾 starker petplay au

A collab between @rustedstarker​ and @professional-benaddict

Daddy/master Tony, +18 puppy Peter, vet Stephen, dog and cat hybrids are known, dog-boys (Peter has ears, tail, teeth etc), medical examination, medical procedures, whump, hurt, comfort, fluff, 5k

Or Peter swallows a shoelace.

Peter sat fidgeting on the floor, batting his favourite toy back and forth between his hands as he waited impatiently for his owner, Tony, to come home. Every so often he looked up at the clock, waiting for the moment that the big hand would reach the bottom of the face, which is when his owner said he would be home from work. His ears were drooping a little as he huffed, leaning in close to head-butt his stuffed octopus once and then crawling away from it. Peter moved to sit by the penthouse windows, gazing out at the city below and wondering where Tony was in relation to their home.

Tony knew he was screwed as he stopped for another red light. It was like the world was against him today, and the CEO honked his horn at the traffic ahead, although he knew it was pointless. It was Tony’s promise to his pet that was making him so impatient and frustrated, because he knew he was going to be late, and thus he would have to deal with a dog-boy in a foul mood as soon as he arrived. Everything just became worse as Tony knew that with every minute that ticked by, Peter’s mood would be worse and worse.

Peter was now staring at the clock, and as the big hand passed the bottom of the clock, there was no sign of Tony. The dog-boy growled under his breath, and headed back over to the couch he had been sat in front of. He picked up the stuffed octopus between his teeth and tossed it aside, not interested in playing with it any more. As he looked around the penthouse floor, he spotted a pair of Tony's shoes by the front door, and immediately went over to them. He picked one up between his teeth, and began gnawing at it while rolling on his back. The leather was hard, but broken in by how often Tony wore those shoes, and Peter had no trouble chewing on them out of boredom. He also gave a few tugs to the shoelaces, pulling them out of their holes. In his boredom, Peter had managed to pull one of the shoelaces out of Tony's shoes, and swallowed it. Panicking at the realisation of what he had done, the dog-boy hurried to the bathroom. There, he bent double over the toilet, trying his best to retch in the hopes that vomiting would get the shoelace back up, but it was no use.

Fuck, it was almost 6 pm already, which meant Tony was late by half an hour. To some, it may not seem like a lot, but after owning Peter for the past three years, Tony knew that half an hour is an eternity in Peter’s eyes. And an eternity equals betrayal. The CEO hurried up to his penthouse, counting the seconds as he made his way up the elevator. Finally, he reached his floor and went to open his front door. 

“Peter? Daddy’s so sorry, I got held back at work and traffic was terrible.” Tony started once he had unlocked the door. But, there was no sight of Peter. “Peter?” Tony called out again, stumbling a bit over his shoes that lay in the middle of the hallway. He pushed them aside without much thought, too busy to notice that one shoelace was missing.

“Daddy!” Peter wailed in response. He very rarely responded to talking properly, much preferring to use his ears and tail to show his mood, but this was different. At Peter’s wail, Tony felt his stomach drop in dread. The tone of the wail was urgent, to say the least, and the man rushed to the bathroom where he heard the wailing come from. 

“Peter, what’s going on?” Tony asked and with a few quick strides, he came over to Peter by the toilet. His first thought was that his dog-boy was sick, so he put a hand to his forehead, but found his temperature to be normal. “Are you sick, puppy love? Talk to Daddy now.” The man urged, knowing hybrids’ tendencies to use their body language rather than speaking. But, Tony really needed Peter to cooperate here.

“I-“ The effort of trying to vomit made Peter cough for a few seconds, and he looked pained as he did so. “I-I'm sorry, I- I was fiddling with your sh-shoes, and then I- I swallowed a sh-shoelace. I didn't mean to, I promise!” He whimpered, still coughing in the hopes that it would bring the lace back up.

“You swallowed a what?” Tony asked, his brows knit together in a completely baffled expression. It was common for dogs to eat and swallow inappropriate things, but Tony would have honestly expected more from a dog-boy. Still, this was not the time for lecturing, and Tony swiftly picked Peter up and brought him out of the bathroom. He did not feel comfortable extracting the shoelace on his own at all, so he needed some professional help.

Peter whined as he was suddenly picked up, and carried like a baby back to their bedroom. Peter had his own, separate dog bed that he enjoyed sleeping on, but today Tony placed him down on the king-sized bed in the centre of the room and told him to wait while he made a phone call. The dog-boy whimpered, and curled up into a tight ball with his face hidden from view.

“Strange and Palmer Hybrid Clinic, how may I help you?” 

“I need to speak to Doctor Strange.” 

“I- I’m afraid he is occupied at the moment in surgery. What seems to be the problem?” 

“Then put me through to the ORs or whatever you need to do, just get me in touch with Doctor Strange.” 

“Sir-” 

“Tell him it’s Tony Stark, and it is urgent.” 

“... I’ll see what I can do.”

Peter could not hear much of the conversation, only Tony’s stern tone as he talked to whoever was on the other end of the phone. Peter groaned, and his ears fell flat on his head with nerves. Even his tail was drooped, curled up behind him as he waited for his owner to come back into the room. 

After a few minutes of waiting, Tony finally heard a familiar baritone voice at the other end of the line. 

“Doctor Strange speaking-“

“Peter ate a shoelace.” 

“... Bring him over. Don’t give him anything to eat or drink, just bring him over. I’ll be here once you arrive.” 

And with that, Tony did not need to say nor hear anything else and ended the call. The CEO and vet in question have been friends for a few years now, and they always have a fun time hanging out. The dog-boy, on the other hand, is not particularly fond of the vet, but not because he is unpleasant, but rather because of the things that entail meeting the vet. It always involves poking and a level of discomfort for some time. Still, Peter is smart, so Tony does not try to hide where they are going as he goes to scoop Peter up into his arms again. 

“And off to the vet we go…”

Peter instantly made a noise of complaint at the mention of the vet. He hated being prodded and poked, and going to the vet often meant getting injections of some kind. He knew there was no use in objecting to it, but he still whined pitifully and squirmed in the man’s arms as he was carried out of the bedroom and across the penthouse to the elevator.

“You’ll be okay, you’ll be okay, puppy.” Tony soothed as they got into the elevator and rode down to the cars in the basement. “I know you don’t like this, but it has to be done.” He added, then put Peter in his cage in the cat for the ride, adding another blanket under him just in case he threw up. It would not be a long drive, but still Tony had learned how to take the necessary precautions when it came to his precious, and expensive, pet.

Peter hated the cage. He liked being in the front seat with Tony when he drove, with his head out of the window trying to catch raindrops on his tongue if it was raining. Being put in the cage in the backseat was boring, with nothing to look at, and the dog-boy sadly curled up on his blanket with his tail between his legs. By the time they had gotten to the vet, Peter was subdued and sullen, and did not fight when Tony lifted him up out of the cage.

Just a second after mentioning his name at the reception at the hybrid clinic, Stephen Strange came through and gestured for Tony to come with him. Rather than putting his pet down, Tony carried Peter the whole way. And as they walked, Tony could feel how Peter was beginning to tremble in his arms. He kissed his pup in between his ears lovingly. Despite his fear and wish to just escape and make a run for it, Peter was grateful for how Tony was holding him all the way to the exam room. 

“I’m sorry, but we gotta do this, pup...” 

“So, when did he swallow the shoelace?” Stephen asked as he led Tony to a free exam room. Tony put his precious pet on the metal exam table, but kept his hands on him still to sooth him. As he was set down on the table, the dog-boy instantly recoiled at how cool the metal felt against his skin, and whined in protest. His ears were pinned back against his head nervously, and he watched Strange move around the room with a wary eye. 

“I’m not sure, I just came back from work and found him by the toilet trying to throw up.”

“Before Daddy came home. 10... 10 minutes.” Peter mumbled. He did not want to speak at all, but he knew it would make the process more difficult if he did not.

“Good boy, Peter. Thank you for telling.” Stephen praised and Tony stroked in between the boy’s tense ears. Based on the dog-boy’s body language, he was very uncomfortable, and Tony’s heart ached at knowing it would get worse before it would get better. 

“Has he thrown up?” Stephen asked next, getting some gloves to do a quick exam before sedating the pet for the inevitable procedure needed to extract the ingested shoelace.

Both Peter and Tony said ‘no’ at the same time, Peter’s voice more high-pitched and wavering, nervous of what was going to happen next. As each second passed, Peter was becoming less and less soothed by Tony’s petting, his eyes wide and flitting all over the room. There were posters all over the place depicting different hybrid structures, both canine and feline, male and female. Peter tried to read them as a distraction, but could not keep his attention on them long enough.

“Okay, puppy, I’m gonna have a look at you now.” Stephen warned gently as he approached the exam table from where he had logged in his brief observations of Peter in his chart. “Just hold him up and keep him distracted.” The vet instructed to Tony, who nodded in response and got Peter up on all fours before stroking his ears and kissing at his nose. 

“You’re okay, pup.” Tony said in between the kisses. 

While Peter was standing up, Stephen started to gently feel the dog-boy’s abdomen, feeling for any tenderness or swelling. Peter could not squirm much from where Tony was holding him up. He was still upset though, and so avoided making eye contact with Tony as Strange began feeling around his abdomen. He whimpered gently, hating the way that Strange poked him. He hated everything about this, and pursed his lips uncomfortably while his ears still stayed flopped back against his head.

“Shh, I know, I know.” Stephen cooed as he continued to feel Peter’s abdomen for a few more moments before letting go. To make up for the discomfort he caused, he stroked the dog-boy’s back, watching as his tail twitched a bit, but remained in between his legs in a fearful position. “Okay, so since it hasn’t been long since he swallowed the shoelace, it’s probably still in his stomach. We’ll have to sedate him to carry out the ultrasound and then go in with the scope to remove it.” The vet explained while still stroking Peter’s back. Tony looked up as he listened to Stephen, but still cupped his pet’s face in his hands and stroked at his ear. 

“Right now?” 

“Yeah, I’ll just grab a sedative now. Time isn’t exactly on our side with this.” Stephen said and went to retrieve a syringe. “Usually, we give them treats to distract from the shot, but he can’t eat anything, so just do what you did earlier.”

Peter whined again. He could hear Strange moving around behind him, and Tony’s attempts of soothing him were not working. He eventually pulled his face away from Tony’s touch and hid himself by tucking his head in under his arms, trembling with fear.

“You’re okay, puppy, you’re okay. It’s just a little pinch and then you’ll have a nice nap.” Tony assured, but Peter did not seem comforted in the slightest. Gesturing to let Peter lay down, Stephen took a hold of the pup’s thigh, using his weight to hold the limb in place. After exchanging a quick look with Tony, the vet injected the pet swiftly.

A sharp yelp of pain came from Peter’s throat as he was injected, and he looked up from where he previously had his face buried in the crook of his arm to glare at Strange for injecting him. The sedative quickly took over though, and the dog-boy relaxed against the table with his eyes fluttering shut. Once the dog-boy fell unconscious, Stephen carefully straightened his neck out to secure an open airway, then stroked back the pup’s soft ears. 

“I got him from here, you don’t have to worry, Tony.” The vet reassured the clearly anxious owner. After giving his pet a kiss, or maybe a dozen, Tony finally left, although reluctantly. 

A short while later, Stephen had gotten a team of two nurses and an assistant to assist him with the dog-boy and had him transported to be treated. First, they did x-rays and an ultrasound to locate the shoelace, then had Peter readied in surgery to have the foreign object removed endoscopically. The dog-boy pulled through the procedure with perfect stats and all members of staff who saw him could not resist the urge to stop and coo at him. All hybrids are incredibly expensive due to their luxurious status and beauty, but it was clear that Peter was an exception. Everyone said how lucky Tony was to have him, and Stephen could hardly disagree as he looked at the still sedated and stunning pet on his procedure table. 

After the successful extraction of the shoelace, Stephen had Peter brought to recovery to come around from the anaesthesia on a cozy bed on the floor and with a blanket over him. Since Tony was a friend of his, Stephen had volunteered to stay in recovery to wait for Peter to come around, surprising a few nurses by doing so. But, the vet did not mind, and did some paperwork till he heard a soft groan and the shuffling of fabric, which indicated that his precious patient was starting to wake.

As Peter started to come to, he groaned gently. His ears swivelled on his head as he tried to gauge where he was, but his attention was quickly taken by how soft the bed and blanket combo was. He settled back down, feeling slightly groggy. He also felt hurt from having to go to the vet at all, he always hated it here. As not to startle the dog-boy, Stephen carefully approached him and offered the back of his hand to let the pup sniff him. 

“Hey, puppy... You sleepy? I bet you feel real weird now, but you’re okay.” The vet comforted.

Peter looked up to see Strange’s hand in front of him. He sniffed at the hand gently, but backed away from it when he realised that it was the vet. The dog-boy was still mad for being prodded and examined, and most importantly injected, so he curled up under his blanket and hid himself so that Strange could not talk to him any more. Tony did not even seem to be here, which Peter could tell by the lack of his owner’s smell in the room, which only made the pup more upset.

The vet was hardly offended by the pup’s reluctance to socialise with him, and just let his patient be. It was almost hilarious how some patients seem to adore him more than their owners, while the other half hated his guts. 

“Your Daddy will be here real soon, and then you’ll be on your way.” Stephen assured and headed out to let Tony know that his pet was awake and ready to be collected soon. Peter ignored the vet as he left, and continued sulking with his tail firmly between his legs. He did not want to see his Daddy, not when Tony was the reason he was even feeling this ill to begin with. If he had not been late, then Peter would not have swallowed the shoelace, and everything would have been fine. He grumbled to himself as he thought it over.

When Stephen called him, Tony had gone to put on his shoes and coat before even answering the phone and was already on his way when the vet said he could come collect his pet. In the meantime, Peter was moved from recovery to a cage in the normal ward for the other hybrids patients. The nurses had noticed that the dog-boy was in a foul mood, and did not bother him for long. Letting Tony in, Stephen pointed to the cage where his pet was. 

“Hi, puppy love!” Tony chuckled a little tearily and opened the cage door to stroke his pet. “I was so worried- oh, but, you’re all okay now. You’ll be getting so many treats at home, oh, yes you are.”

Peter was facing the wall when Tony came up to the cage he was in, and even despite being upset at his owner he could not resist turning to greet him. However, when Tony held his hand out to stroke him, Peter growled in response. It should have been enough to make Tony stop, but when the man continued reaching for him, the dog-boy lunged forward and bit his Daddy’s hand.

“Ah, fuck! Jesus!” Tony yelped and pulled his hand back, looking up at his pet in shock. He shut the cage door, and then looked at his hand where he had clear teeth marks between his thumb and pointy finger. Peter had bitten him before, but those were nibbles at best, but this was the first proper bite. And Tony was not pleased. “Bad dog.” He said lowly, letting the words sink in before he rose from the floor to stand up again.

It was like a cold bucket of water had been poured over Peter when he heard those words, and he scrambled backwards in his cage as the door shut in front of him. He was trembling again, this time at his own actions of upsetting his Daddy, and he blinked quickly as tears collected at the corners of his eyes.

Tony could see that Peter was upset and filled with instant regret, but this was bad enough for him to not forgive the dog-boy right away. Instead, he raised his hand to let a concerned Stephen have a look at it. 

“Has he bitten you before?”

“Just nibbled, so no, never like this.” Tony said, looking at the marks on his hand where Peter had scraped the top layers of his skin. There was no blood.

Peter went back to facing the wall, but his shoulders were shaking with quiet cries. He also pulled the blanket up around his shoulders and over his head, ignoring the noises from the cages and other hybrids around him. He was scared how Tony would react to being bitten for the first time.

“It’s not deep enough to need a rabies vaccine, but you should still get it cleaned.” Stephen said and showed the way to help Tony clean the scrapes. Before leaving, Tony looked over his shoulder at Peter in the cage. 

“Could you, uhm- have him muzzled when I bring him home?” Tony asked, and hated the fact that he had to ask such a thing to be done to his precious pet. Stephen nodded understandingly, then led the way out of the room.

Peter did not hear any details of Strange and Tony’s conversation, the blanket over his head muffling his hearing. It seemed like forever before he heard footsteps over in his direction again, and he could not resist peeking out from the blanket and looking over his shoulder to see who it was. When it was Strange, accompanied by a male and female nurse, the boy shrunk back again with a fearful growl.

Opening the cage door swiftly, Stephen pulled back the blanket and threw it over Peter’s head, covering him in darkness and disorienting him for long enough for him and the two nurses to lift him out and hold him down to the floor. They kept the blanket over Peter’s eyes, but pulled it back just long enough to work the muzzle on him and secured it behind his head. This was not exactly the first time they had dealt with aggressive and frightened hybrids. Before Peter knew what had happened, he was put back in his cage with a muzzle on his head. 

“Your Daddy will come get you very soon.” Stephen assured to Peter before leaving again.

Peter blinked momentarily, but his gaze was pulled down to the brown muzzle that was strapped around his face. He let out a howl, and instantly began pawing at it to try and pull it off of his face. However, there was no budging the muzzle, even when Peter tried to kick it off by bringing his feet up to his face.

When Peter started howling, some of the other hybrids, both canine and feline, started making noise too in response, whimpering and whining. However, after a while they all settled till Tony returned to the room, accompanied by a nurse this time. The CEO went to the cage where his pet was, and crouched down by him. His hand was now bandaged and he let the dog-boy see it before speaking. 

“This is what you get, Peter, because bad dogs get muzzles. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Peter thought he had finished crying, but when Tony appeared again with a bandaged hand it was enough for him to begin tearing up once more. It took him a moment to speak, as he tried his best to steady his breathing. 

“I’m s-sorry, Master.” The dog-boy had not referred to Tony as ‘master’ since he had first got him, and his voice quivered as he spoke.

That definitely caught Tony by surprise, and he raised his brow as he looked at his pet. All of a sudden he regretted asking the vet to muzzle his boy in the first place, but then he remembered that he had to stand by his punishment. If he did not, Peter would never listen to him again. 

“Thank you for apologising, but the muzzle will stay on till I decide otherwise. Now, come to Daddy.” He said, reaching his hand out once more for his pup. But, this time he did so through the closed cage door. 

Peter hesitated moving forward, but eventually came towards the closed cage door and hung his head low for Tony to pet it through the bars. He relaxed as Tony pet that special spot behind his ears, the one that made him almost purr like a cat. He didn’t say much else, he simply made soft, mewling noises as Tony pet him through the bars.

“There’s a good puppy...” Tony mused as he scratched at Peter’s favourite spot. Although he was a bit mad at the dog-boy still, he could not help but feel incredibly relieved that his precious pet was okay. “You feeling okay, pet? The doctor said you might feel a bit sick and woozy for the next few days. He gave me a list of foods that should make you feel better.”

Peter was feeling pretty non-verbal at that point, so he simply whined sadly in response to Tony’s question. He was almost pushing his head up against the bars of the cage with how much he wanted his Daddy’s soothing touch, one that scratched his scalp. It could not move much further than that though, as the muzzle prevented Tony from petting Peter under the chin, where he liked it.

“Oh, I know...” Tony agreed when Peter whined so pitifully. “We’ll go home soon, pet, once the doctor says we can.” He added and continued to scratch Peter through the bars until he got an idea and turned to the nurse. “Could I sit with him somewhere? To cuddle him?” 

“Of course.” The nurse replied, and showed Tony to some soft mats on the floor. To get Peter over, Tony opened the cage and reached his hands out in a non-verbal question.

Peter hesitated for a moment, but ultimately crawled out of the cage and into his Daddy’s arms. He curled up into a tight ball on Tony’s lap as the man sat down on the soft mat, nuzzling his forehead against his chest. He whimpered, though, at how the muzzle stopped him from properly pressing his face against Tony.

“Shh, you’re okay, you’re okay. Just rest now, Pete. I got you, pup.” Tony cooed when Peter whimpered and began stroking back the dog-boys ears. They were a bit tense still, and drawn back in a fearful and anxious manner. Or remorseful and sorry. “Daddy’s okay, I’m okay. You didn’t hurt me.” Tony added, just to be sure in case Peter was torturing himself mentally. Although the hybrids could talk, they only did so when it was necessary.

Finally in his Daddy’s arms, Peter relaxed where he lay across his lap. He had been resting all night since swallowing the shoelace with how the drugs had forced him asleep and kept him groggy. But, laying like this on Tony’s lap, Peter felt himself relax properly. It felt just right. This is where he belonged, and that was the last thought he had before succumbing to sleep, but this time it was peaceful. 

The next time Peter woke up, he sniffed the air experimentally to try and orientate himself. He smelt home, and so he forced his eyes open to see that he was in his own dog bed next to Tony’s bed. He was back home. An overwhelming sense of relief washed over him and he lay back down, but he snapped his eyes open again when he realised that there was nothing on his head. Even in his still drowsy state, the pup remembered what had happened earlier. He had bit his master, and as a consequence he had been muzzled. But, there is no muzzle strapped to his head now. 

“Hey, you up, puppy love?” 

At the sound of a gentle voice, Peter looked to the door and saw Tony walking in. His Tony. Overwhelmed with delight, the dog-boy stood up, only to stubble over his wobbly feet and fall to the carpeted floor. The man rushed over with a few quick strides and crouched down the floor. 

“Hey, hey, easy.” Tony chuckled when he saw that Peter had not hurt himself, then arranged the puppy back into his bed and stroked back his ears. “You need to take it easy, pup.” And Peter obeyed, and closed his eyes again. In the stillness of the bedroom, the dog-boy relaxed fully. With every breath he took, he could smell Tony. The scent was hypnotising to Peter, and he felt himself start to drift off again, but he yipped in surprise at having his shoulder being shaken. 

“How about some food? You must be starving.” Peter did not realise just how hungry he was until Tony said that, and almost on command his stomach rumbled. The puppy even squirmed at the feeling and with a coo, Tony picked him up from the dog-bed. “There’s my good puppy. I’ll get you fed, don’t you worry.” The man cooed again with Peter in his arms. “And something that is not shoelaces.” 

At the sarcastic jab, Peter looked up at his master and started nipping at his neck and ears. 

“Ow, ow!” Tony laughed and tried to dodge Peter’s half hearted attacks. “Hey, hey!” But, Peter kept going for a bit longer to hear more of Tony’s laughter. He could feel how the man’s chest rumbled against his own torso, and it eased away the last of the regret he had in his heart from biting Tony. “Okay, okay. We’re even now. We all good?” 

Peter yipped happily. They were more than good, they were happy. 

[paranetics]

hiya could you do a kiadam for 17. and 22.? if your not too busy. thanks !!

17.  “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…” 22.  “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

He’s completely minding his own business, being friendly with his physics textbook, all pressed up against the end of the bookshelf in the library, successfully having a love affair with headache-inducing math equations, when Mira ambushes him.

“Hiya,” she says, suddenly right in his face.

“Aisghls!” he gurgles, in a completely manly way, thank you. She sits back on her heels and laughs at him, loud and mocking. He scowls at her.

Her braces are blue now, matching the streaks in her hair. She looks nice, he decides, all neon green and blue. The loudness of her wardrobe suits her -- she’d be strange to him if she ever tried to tone it down.

“Oh, man, you should’ve seen your face.”

“Fuck you,” Kai snaps, smoothing out the pages of his book. “I am busy learning how to destroy the AP Phys exam. Stop being a distraction.”

She pouts at him. “Come on, you're seriously not still mad at me about the ceramic pig.”

“I’m always going to be mad at you about the ceramic pig,” he says primly. Then he sighs, unable to resist. “What’s up?”

Her smile turns bright, and his heart does that familiar little stutter. Kai has always, always loved her. Sure, she’s Adam’s best friend and has inclinations more Reeve-based, but there’s always going to be something about her that just catches him in the right spot. He’s over it now, and he has erm, other areas of interest, but she’ll always be special.

“Nessa’s having a party--”

“Ugh,” Kai interrupts.

“--with alcohol--”

“Double ugh.”

“And cute boys will be there,” Mira wheedles, whipping out her best puppy-eyes.

“I don’t care,” Kai says, shuffling away from her and looking back at his textbook. The particles will... he reads.

“Adam will be there,” she tries. Obvious trump card. Goddammit.

He cuts his eyes toward her, calculating. She’s grinning, triumphant, confident that she’s got him. He groans internally, because it’s either that he goes to this party and enjoys at least twelve percent of it, or Mira and Adam will wake him up from a dead sleep sometime in the AM, drunk and needy.

Part of his resistance is a lie, he always likes parties. He doesn’t like Vanessa, but she’s Reeve’s friend, and by proxy, Mira’s friend. He can pretend to like her for one night, especially if he gets to hang out with people. What can he say, extroversion. It’s a disease.

It’s just, recently, there’s been this trend. It’s like he’s been cursed.

Kai pretends to think about it.

“Fine,” he grits out.

“Yay!” Mira says, standing up and doing a little celebratory wiggle. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and unlocks it. “I’ll add you to the group text. Also, I want Reeve to drive me so you’re taking Adam alone okay bye.”

“Huh,” Kai says as she speed-walks away from him. “What? Hey!”

But she’s gone, vaguely eucalyptus-scented-shampoo left in her wake. Alone? With Adam? Fuck.

His phone buzzes.

-

Group: party 🎉🥂🥳🎊 time

mirakat added humantorchkai to the group

abeaverdam: Oh he’s coming?

lochnessa: Damn I didn’t know he left his house anymore

mirakat: ya i cornered his ass in th library

mirakat: hes a total slut 4 skool

mirakat: kais my bitch tho lol so ya hes comin

mirakat: dam hes drivin u

abeaverdam: Is that ok kai?

humantorchkai: yeah

humantorchkai: when?

lochnessa: Friday.

-

Kai’s late to first period on Wednesday, which Reeve notices, and bugs him about for ten minutes straight. He rolls in twenty minutes after the bell, wearing the clothes he left on his bedroom floor, all rumpled up and disorganized, and without a note. He drops into his seat and makes it approximately two minutes before Reeve leans over, into his space, and starts the interrogation.

“Oh my God,” Kai says to the ceiling. “For the last time, my alarm didn’t go off.”

“My Spidey-senses tell me you’re a liar,” Reeve says, and seriously, what does Mira see in this complete dork? He’s so nosy.

Kai drags his gaze from the ceiling to stare at him. “I think your janky-ass ‘spider-sense’ needs a psych eval.”

Reeve crosses his arms and sniffs at him. “Rude. I thought we were friends.”

“We are--” Kai scrubs his hands through his hair violently, frustrated. He catches the smirk on Reeve’s face. “Hey! That doesn’t work on me anymore. I’ve evolved.”

The smirk doesn’t leave Reeve’s face.

The truth is, Kai’s late because he had a nightmare. Or a wet dream. Depends on your definition of either thing. It’s been reoccurring pretty consistently, and Kai always wakes up from it breathing hard, adrenaline in his veins, and a hard-on. Today just happened to be shittier, and he couldn’t get back to sleep right away, so he overslept when his alarm went off.

It’s pretty much the worst, been happening for almost a month, and Kai is slowly losing his mind. But. whatever, the important part is this: he’s with Adam, and Adam kisses him. They could be in space, or in a submarine, or whatever Kai’s subconscious feels like cooking up. They could be anything, pirates, elven rebel warriors, it doesn't matter. In every dream, Kai’s with Adam, and at some point Adam leans over, the smell of Hennessy whiskey on his breath, and kisses Kai.

It’s why Kai’s been so rigid lately, avoiding his friends and refusing to go to parties, because of what happened Last Time he’d gone.

Mad Libs! Fill in the blanks, Sherlock.

He’s so totally, totally, totally screwed. And no one is allowed to know, not even Reeve, who knows Adam’s a flirty drunk and that Kai’s pathetic, and hasn’t even told anyone any of Kai’s other secrets, because this? This is world-ending levels of FUCK.

So, when the bell rings, Kai basically sprints out the door to avoid Reeve.

-

Group: party 🎉🥂🥳🎊 time

speedyskeet: should i bring da weed

reever: ohhh shiiiit hell yeah

lochnessa: No LSD though

speedyskeet: :O

speedyskeet: um ok MOM

reever: wtf ness

reever: psychedelic rights!!!

speedyskeet: let me get us fkd up!!

mirakat: wait didnt we hav 2 call an ambulance 4 coop last time u brought more than weed to a party

mirakat: or was tht a different school

speedyskeet: .........

speedyskeet: ok so im assuming edibles and my bong right

-

Kai takes his lunch to Mr Tucker’s room.

Mr Tucker is the APUS history teacher for the senior class, and he is the only non-STEM teacher that Kai likes. Mira is also his favorite student, so he lets them eat lunch in his room. It’s better than fighting for a spot in the crowded cafeteria, and Kai likes hiding from the rest of the student body.

Adam, Reeve, and Mira are sitting at one of the table groups when Kai walks in with his plate of chicken nuggets, Vanessa and Skeet nowhere to be seen. They’re probably getting high in the parking lot.

Mr Tucker is scrolling through youtube, his computer desktop displayed on the projector screen.

“Why’d you look up Nyan cat?” Kai asks, tilting his head as he watches Mr Tucker scroll.

“It’s stuck in his head,” Mira pipes up, helpfully. 

Mr Tucker grunts confirmation and apparently selects the version he likes. Reeve groans when it starts playing, slumping forward over his tuna salad. Mr Tucker picks up his normal vegetable-based salad, his bushy mustache wiggling in that way that means he’s smiling.

Kai sits next to Reeve, across from Adam. Mistake, Kai realizes too late. Big mistake. Because now they have to make eye contact, and Kai’s belly catches fire at the memory of drunkAdamhe’sKISSINGMESOMEONEHELP when he looks down at his plate of chicken nuggets. It’ll be obvious on his face in a few moments, he’s never been able to fight off a blush well, and then there’s going to be Questions. Capital-Q Questions.

But Reeve’s talking about, like, whatever drama majors talk about, and when Kai chances a peek up, Adam’s not looking at him. So.

Kai can’t help it, okay? He’s creepy. Sue him. No wait, that’s not-- ugh.

Kai studies the contours of Adam’s face while he’s not looking. His high cheekbones and his sharp chin. His heavy eyebrows that are shaped perfectly (”Ugh, you’re so fucking gross,” Reeve had said when Kai had voiced this thought aloud. “His eyebrows? I think you need to ask him out. Get it out of your system.”) and his eyes are that warm shade of brown, almost gold, soft and kind.

His hair is longer now, and errant curls flop over his forehead and around his ears. Kai watches the long line of Adam’s throat when he tilts his head back from the force of laughing at something Reeve said. Kai’s transfixed by the inviting stretch of dark skin, entertaining a thought of leaning over and just biting down so it’s not his fault he doesn’t see it coming when Reeve violently jabs him in the rib.

Kai jumps. “Ah! What the fuck?”

“Language,” Mr Tucker says in the toneless inflection of someone who doesn’t really care but responds on reflex. He’s now scrolling through Seasame Street videos.

Reeve shrugs, unrepentant. “You were gone there, dude.”

“Yeah,” Adam agrees, eyebrows raised in polite curiosity. “Planet Zenon gone.”

Kai ducks his head. “I’m, uh, stressed about AP physics?” he tries.

“Uh-huh,” Reeve says, “and are you asking us to confirm that for you?”

“Leave him alone,” Mira interrupts mildly. “Only, like, a hundred people a year get above a three on that exam.”

“Wow, how is that class still funded?” Adam asks.

“Elitism?” Mira guesses. “Maybe it’s like, a torture thing. Like, a test within a test.”

“What,” Reeve says, “like, if you pass you can become a super-secret spy?”

“Or I can, like, do another Chernobyl. Or I’m allowed secret access to government secrets. Ooh, maybe they’ll tell me the moon is a projection into the sky.” Kai says, warming to this idea.

“Then how would they explain waves?” Reeve asks.

“Uh, giant wave pool,” Kai answers.

“Hot take: the world is in a giant wave pool,” Mira grins at him.

Adam blinks almost in slow-motion, the sweep of his eyelashes against his cheeks, a smile growing on his face, and Kai is once again caught like a fly in honey. Just like that, all the saliva is gone from Kai’s mouth, and he’s completely lost the thread of whatever’s happening around him.

Okay, so, recap: totally, totally, totally screwed.

-

adam: U sure you’re ok driving me?

kai: dam i swear its fine

kai: i’d say something if it was a problem

kai: my parents have been trying to kick me out basically every weekend, this’ll make them so fucking happy

adam: Lol

adam: [A stock photo of two white parents sitting on a beach towel in a tropical location, smiling adoringly at each other. In the blurry background, a toddler with similar skin color and hair is being attacked by a seagull.]

-

“There is a PROBLEM!” Kai announces, flopping heavily onto his bed, tossing an arm dramatically over his forehead. Mira doesn’t even look up at him.

“Hm?” she says from the floor, knees drawn up to her chest, eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. She’s looking more at her iPad than at him.

“Oh my God,” Kai groans. “You don’t even care. I’m nothing to you. You enjoy my suffering.”

“Die white man,” Mira says tonelessly. “I’m trying to beat my old high score in Tetris. What’s your damage.”

“I have nothing to wear on Friday,” Kai moans, pained.

“What? Why do you even care? Your regular clothes are fine.”

“Oh my God, Mira! It’s a party,” Kai breathes the word like its holy, a precious thing nestled in the crook of his tongue, not to be defiled by people who wear school clothes to special events. “And I want to get hit on.”

“I’ll hit on you,” Mira promises. The iPad makes a wah-wah-wah sound. She sighs, setting it aside and looking up at him, expression thoroughly unamused, clearly blaming him for her high-score loss.

“I did not do that,” Kai says. The blood’s started rushing to his head, so he sits up and blinks away the black spots as they dance in front of his vision. “I just wanna be hot,” he whines. 

“Okay, so, wear that stupid blue button-up with the tigers on it, and the black skinny jeans. It brings out your eyes,” she elaborates. “And tucked-in button-ups are hot on dudes. Oh, and--”

“If you’re gonna Queer Eye me, I swear to God,” Kai complains.

“Will you just... I was gonna say you should wear a tiny bit of eyeliner. It’s like, accentuating your features or some shit.”

“Why should I trust you?” Kai asks playfully. “I’ve never seen you go anywhere near a make-up in my life.”

Mira shrugs. “I saw it on Instagram. Anyways, Reeve said I have ‘good bone structure’, what does that even mean?”

“That he’s an idiot and I can’t believe you’re into him?” Kai ventures. Mira glares at him, so Kai leans back on the bed, rolling his eyes up to the bedroom ceiling at the glow-in-the-dark stick-on stars that have been there since he was seven. “Okay, okay. He was probably trying to compliment you, but since he’s a robot sent by aliens to infiltrate the earth he did it in a really bizarre way.”

Mira perks up. “You think?”

“He said ‘good’.”

“What should I say back?”

“Erm, that you’ll have his babies?”

Mira throws one of her glittery highlighter pens at him. It bounces off the center of his forehead and onto his lap. He laughs, picking it up and tossing it back.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “Maybe say that you like his bones, too.”

Mira takes out her phone.

-

adam: [A picture of a pina colada sitting on a kitchen counter in a pool of sunlight.]

adam: Winky face

kai: you could just like, use the emoji keyboard instead of typing it out

adam: Don’t make me frowny face

-

Kai spends fifteen minutes messing with his hair in the mirror. He gels it sticking up, twists his mouth critically at his reflection, and wets his hands to wipe it out. Nothing’s working for him today. It’s just one of those things, his clothes seem to hang off him awkwardly, and nothing looks right.

He makes a sound of frustration, and his mom pokes her head into the bathroom.

“Oh,” she says. “I thought you were going to a party?”

“Mom,” he growls. “I’m getting ready!”

“Hm.” 

She pushes the door all the way open, surveys him from head to toe, and reaches over to run a hand through his hair, leaving parts sticking up in her wake. Kai looks in the mirror. Now, instead of awkward ‘trying-too-hard’, he looks artfully tousled. He unbuttons two top buttons of his tiger shirt, and messes with the collar to make it look like someone had grabbed it and reeled him in for a kiss. He grins at himself.

“That’s better, I think,” she says.

“Thanks Mom,” he says, shuffling past her and out to the hallway.

“Limit yourself to three drinks!” she calls as he stuffs his feet into old converse. “If you get too intoxicated to drive, spend the night! Just text! Don’t forget to wear condoms and--”

Kai shuts the door in her face.

His car is a silver Prius, owned five times prior to him. The interior always smells a little bit like shamrock shake and in the winter requires a prayer and three engine turnovers to start. Kai loves it.

He pulls up to Adam’s street and texts without looking that he’s close. He parks in the street, and jogs up to Adam’s front door. He raps his knuckles on Adam’s door, the red one with caterpillar decals, and a blue handprint on the doorknob.

Adam throws open the door. “Gimme a sec, gotta grab my jacket.”

He’s wearing a white shirt and Kai’s favorite jeans of his (do Not judge him, okay, liking your crush’s ass is basically a given and is no longer considered a sin under the New Testament, so really Kai’s not weird for liking this pair of Adam’s jeans because it accentuates his butt.), the ones with rips in the thigh and at both knees, because Adam lives reckless and dies reckless.

He jams his feet into vans and grabs the heavy olive jacket off the coatrack and follows Kai out to the Prius.

“You look nice,” Adam says, offhand. Kai feels how hot his face immediately gets and hopes it isn’t ugly, sometimes his blushes look like a rash.

“Thanks,” he says, rubbing his neck, right hand fumbling for his keys.

They slide into their seats, and Kai is hit with the violent-sense memory of Hennesy whiskey, and dark streetlamps, and Adam’s soft voice and brown puppy-dog eyes imploring Kai, look at me. Look at me, please. And. And.

His phone buzzes.

“Oh, Vanessa wants us to pick up some soda,” Kai says through the rock in his throat.

“Ooh, ooh. Cherry 7-Up, Jarritos Lime, uh like, a ton of Mountain Dew... and Coke! We’ll need Coke,” Adam rambles as Kai pulls away from the street and heads toward the local general store.

-

mira: WHERE

mira: R

mira: U 

mira: 2

mira: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kai frowns at his phone. They’re in the check-out line, waiting for their turn with about three tons of soda on the conveyer. Kai’s got a fifty dollar bill from his parents, because they’re stupidly open-minded, but he’s still gonna make Vanessa pay him back. Adam’s inspecting the tabloids, making comments about all of the covers and whatever he thinks about them.

kai: WE’RE

kai: FUCKING

(Not sent !) kai: GETTING

(Not sent !) kai: DRINKS

mira: FUHDUK WHATTTT!!!?????????

Kai groans.

-

The party’s already alive by the time Adam and Kai get there, music thrumming against the walls of the house, the glass panes of the windows shaking with the vibrations. Weighed down by plastic bags full of drinks, and a little bit anxious, Kai fumbles with the door handle three times until Adam reaches over him and opens it.

The crowd is huge. He didn’t even know that Vanessa and Skeet knew this many people. There’s a wall of heat that hits them when they step inside, the difference between the inside and outside must be a solid ten degrees. Most people are crammed in the living room, near the speakers, where a sort of impromptu dancefloor has evolved. There are plenty of people lining the hallways, sitting on the stairs, and spilling over into the other places of the house. 

Vanessa has changed the lightbulbs to fuschia, cobalt, and teal colors, so the house looks almost like a club from a TV show. There’s this haze over everything - and, yep, definitely Skeet’s weed - that makes it seem smoky and mysterious. Adam kicks the door shut behind them as they begin to navigate the crowd.

Skeet’s leaning against one of the walls, talking to a tiny girl with piercings and too much eyeliner. She tosses her head, her hair flying up like a halo for a moment, luminescent in the multicolored lights of the house, and leans closer to Skeet. She’s holding a red solo cup, Skeet’s holding weed, and Kai’s arms are starting to hurt from all the soda.

“So, your, like, real name is Skeet? What kind of name is that? I mean, like, who does that to their kid?” she’s asking, valley girl accent and everything, even twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

Skeet shrugs, unbothered. “My parents are hippies.” he spots them, then, and lifts his joint in a get over here gesture. Kai and Adam shove some people to stand in front of him. He grins. “Oh, dudes, nice. You got drinks. I wasn’t sure if you would, since Mira told us that you, uh, made a pit stop.” he waggles his eyebrows.

Kai groans, flushing.

“Uh, yeah,” Adam says, lifting up his bags. “for drinks? Hello?”

Skeet leers, grin stretching bigger. Kai scowls. He’s going to eat her one day, all Hannibal-Lecter style.

“Where is Mira, anyway?” he cuts in before Skeet says anything weird. “Where should we put the drinks?”

“Oh, just, you know,” Skeet makes a vague gesture with his hand that doesn’t really mean anything. “I think I saw her in the kitchen?”

“Thanks,” Kai mutters, shoving through the crowd and deeper into the house.

Mira and Vanessa are leaning against the sink, Reeve’s standing at the counter, completely covered in bottles of alcohol, thumb and forefinger at his chin like he’s surveying fine art. 

“Oh! You made it! I hate vodka without coke,” Mira says, striding forward and grabbing the bags from Adam.

Kai followers her back to the counter, and shoves the receipt into Vanessa’s limp hands without looking at her. Together, Kai and Mira start to set up the drink line, stacking up all the empty red cups at the edge of the counter as they try to make sure all the soda and alcohol are equally accessible. How Skeet even gets this stuff... he shudders to think. 

Kai waits until Adam and Reeve have wandered out of earshot to lean into Mira’s space. Vanessa had vacated the premise the moment it looked like any physical work would be happening, so he doesn’t worry about her particular brand of nosiness. He takes his phone out of his pocket and tilts the screen so she can see it.

“My texts didn’t send,” he tells her in a low voice. “We weren’t actually, you know.” he flushes violently.

Mira shoots him a grin. “No, I guessed that something had happened. It was just funny. You look nice.”

He smiles at her, genuinely, which means his gums are probably showing. She looks nice too, in her little black dress with a flared skirt and combat boots. The neon green streaks in her hair glow in the weird light of the house.

“I like your outfit,” he says. The din in the background is starting to grow. More people have probably showed up.

She nods at his jeans. “Cuffed jeans. The true mark of a bisexual.”

Kai nods very seriously. “I can’t leave my house without announcing every aspect of my sexuality to the entire world.”

Adam’s talking to a group of people at the other end of the kitchen, his smile is blindly white in the pink light, skin pitched a shade darker, a stark difference against the glow of his white shirt. Staring, unable to look away, Kai steals Mira’s cup and takes a swig. It’s straight vodka, so Kai coughs immediately when it hits his tongue.

Mira laughs at him.

-

Group: party  🎉🥂🥳🎊 time

speedyskeet: do any of u know anyone named travis montery

mirakat: no

lochnessa: No

abeaverdam: Nope!

humantorchkai: no

reever: nah

speedyskeet: fucking L lmao

speedyskeet: im kicking this fool out then

-

Kai’s wandering around, pleasantly buzzed from two Cherry 7-Ups with a tiny bit of vodka, looking for any familiar face. Mira and Reeve had abandoned him pretty much straight away, he’d left Adam alone in the kitchen, and he’s actively avoiding Vanessa. 

He stumbles around, moving his shoulders a bit in time with the music, his body gone languid and loose from the heat and the alcohol and the atmosphere.

His phone beeps at him again. He really hopes it's not Skeet checking with them before he bounces a guy again. It’s just Mira, he sees, when he’s fumbled his phone out of his back pocket. He has to squint to read in the pink light amid the thrumming bodies of people all around him.

Eventually, he escapes the crowd and heads down the stairs to the “game room” and finds another living room, with a soft white carpet and a couch in front of a big flatscreen. There’s a group of about a dozen kids, plus Kai’s friends, sitting on the carpet in a circle by the couch, with a beer bottle laying on a Monopoly game board. Kai blinks, the lights here aren’t fun colors, and everyone in the circle raises their arms and cheers when they see him.

He walks over to them. Mira grabs his arm and begins to drag him onto the carpet beside her. The group begins to chant.

“Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle!”

Oh, no fuck, Kai thinks, beginning to resist Mira’s grip on his arm. His drink is sloshing about, and Kai holds it away from his shirt and pants as he tries to reverse his crouch and pull his arm back. Skeet reaches up and confiscates the cup, downing the rest of it in one go.

“Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle!”

But he’s buzzed and his coordination is spotty, so when Adam reaches out with his hand and spins the beer bottle, Mira tugs once, hard, and Kai crashes onto the carpet, and the bottle spins,

and spins,

and spins.

And points the neck straight at Kai’s disheveled spot in the circle.

So, let’s revisit that cursed theory, shall we?

Kai looks at Adam, and Adam looks at him. He’s got that dopey half-smile on his face, and his pupils are blown wide, iris a thin gold ring around them. Kai knows when Adam’s drunk, or blackout, and he’s tipsy right now, just like Kai. And... oh no. But the kids in the circle are jeering, giggling delightedly.

“Uh,” Kai says.

Adam licks his lips, and Kai tracks the movement of his tongue helplessly. His eyes are moving on Kai’s face, like he’s cataloging everything, like he can’t keep them still. Kai’s mouth is very, very dry, and he misses having the cup in his hand.

“So, uh,” he says, and the tension buzzes even harder. “Is this, like, a kissing thing?”

Skeet grabs him by the arms and manhandles him up. Reeve and Vanessa grab Adam and start frogmarching them down the short hall toward some rooms and closed doors.

“No,” Skeet says, “This is more like a seven minutes in heaven thing.”

“Wait,” Kai says. Skeet reaches past him and opens a door. “Wait.” Skeet pushes him in, and Adam follows behind. “Wait.” The door clicks shut, then there's a clunk, then the sound of something heavy being pushed against the door.

Kai tries the knob, but it's locked. He jiggles it, but his muscles won’t cooperate and yank hard enough. Adam could probably break it open, but Kai has the vague thought of Vanessa’s parents and property damage, and underage drinking.

“Guys!” Adam yells. He pounds on the door with his fist. “Guys! This isn’t funny!”

But they don’t answer.

Evil. Mental note: make sure your friends aren’t evil next time.

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while,” Kai sighs, giving up on the door.

They’ll just have to wait out the seven-minute sentence. It’s simultaneously worse and so much better than the alternative. This way, Adam won’t have to kiss Kai if he doesn’t want to. But also: he won’t have to kiss Kai if he doesn’t want to. It’s a testament to how drunk all of them really are.

Kai turns, presses his back against the door, and slides down it, pulling his knees to his chest, wrapping his hands around his shins, and resting his cheek on his knee. He surveys the room. It’s small and dark, Kai doesn’t have the wherewithal to search for the light switch, but from what Kai can see it looks like a guest room no one ever uses and has accumulated with old junk. There’s a tiny window at the opposite wall that leads up to the lawn. Adam groans and drops onto the ground beside Kai.

The night is clear the moonlight is touching the window and peeking into the room. Adam’s shirt is glowing against his skin from the moonlight, his eyes a bright point in the semi-dark of the room. Kai locks eyes with Adam, and the tension from earlier crops back up tenfold.

This situation is... stupidly pointed. Kai’s pretty sure Reeve is the only person in the world who knows Kai thinks Adam is kinda hot, but he’d also have to be massively stupid to ignore the strain in their friend group lately.

Adam’s looking at him the way he does right before he reaches out to touch Kai’s hair, or brush his fingers against Kai’s freckles, or leans over to kiss Kai’s cheek. He’s looking at Kai like a hungry man, like he’s about to make the stupidest decision of his life and never look back. Kai can feel the pull of that look drawing him in, the temptation to run his hands against Adam’s chest, touching his shoulders or his mouth.

So Kai does the only thing he can think of.

“What did you think of that new Hey Arthur episode?”

Adam blinks at him. “Uh. You mean that kids show?”

Kai bites his lip and nods vigorously. 

Totally. Totally. Totally screwed.

-

reeb: [A video of Mira on the dancefloor among a huge throng of teens. The song in the background is completely drowned out by people attempting to sing along drunkenly. She’s grinding against Vanessa, who’s wearing Skeet’s sunglasses and drinking a mimosa with a cocktail umbrella in it.]

(Not sent !) kai: let us out of here!!! its been like 15 mins!!!! guys!!! dam’s phone is dead!!!!!

(Not sent !) kai: goddamn it COME GET US

(Not sent !) kai: NOTHING IS SENDING!!

reeb: lol wya we cant find dam either

(Not sent !) kai: YOU LEFT US IN THE BASEMENT

-

“Ugh,” Kai says, flopping back down onto the pillows beside Adam. At some point during their imprisonment slash debate on the ethics of twenty-three seasons of the same children’s cartoon, they’d moved from the floor to the twin bed. “I’m pretty sure they forgot about us.”

“Well, it’s been like thirty minutes. And they’re drunk.”

Kai’s starting to sober up. He has to pee, and his mouth tastes like cherry coughdrops. He stands up on the bed, bouncing a bit on the mattress. He reaches up and touches the seam of the window and the sill.

“What are you doing?” Adam asks, trepidation in his voice.

“Uh, escaping?” Kai says.

Kai presses his foot onto the upside down elliptical that’s propped precariously against an old wardrobe. He puts some of his weight on it, testing. Satisfied that it won’t give, Kai lifts himself up onto it, closer to the window, and pushes against the glass pane. The window opens out suddenly, making Kai wobble. The wardrobe groans.

“Careful!” Adam barks.

Kai glances back at Adam, his worried eyes watching Kai from the bed, sitting up on his knees in a half crouch. Kai sticks his head out the narrow window, then his shoulders, and manages to drag himself up and out.

He turns back around and offers his hand to Adam.

“Come on,” he says. “I’ll help you out.”

Adam climbs up onto the elliptical like Kai had, reaches his right hand to Kai’s left and uses his left to leverage himself closer to the window. The wardrobe and the elliptical make that sound again, like they’re scraping together.

“Hurry!” Kai says, afraid of the whole makeshift apparatus falling apart. Adam’s left palm slaps against Kai’s right and Kai pulls.

The elliptical falls over as Kai yanks Adam up, a great big crash resounding in the room they just escaped. Kai’s momentum and Adam’s weight makes Kai step back once, then twice, then his footing goes and he sprawls onto his back, Adam on top of him, in one big undignified heap.

Adam looks down at him. He looks more sober, too, like he hasn’t had much to drink. Kai should really be pushing Adam off of him. Or trying to sit up. But his hands are on Adam’s waist, and Adam’s looking at Kai’s face like he can’t quite look at anything else, and Kai cannot, for the life of him, break this moment.

Adam’s hands are on either side of Kai’s face, boxing him in. His breath puffs against Kai’s mouth over and over as he breathes shallowly. His eyes flick all over Kai’s face, and Kai’s thinking kiss me, please so hard he’s pretty sure NASA catches the brainwaves.

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice,” he says, voice soft and vulnerable, like Kai has the power to hurt him with whatever Kai says next.

Kai’s hands tighten on Adam’s waist. He’s thought about this a lot. Like, a stupid amount. Who doesn’t daydream about confessing to your crush? But Kai cannot dredge up any words to say. He’s dry, completely dry, and he can only think about how good Adam’s weight feels on him. He dips his eyes to Adam’s mouth and thinks This is where I kiss him, right? and Adam’s eyes slide shut as he leans in, towards Kai, and Kai loses his mind.

The backdoor opens, the sounds of the party spilling out into the night air, pink light washing over them. Adam scrambles off Kai so fast that he’s pretty sure he breaks the world record for speed, and stands up.

Kai props himself onto his elbows and squints at the silhouette in the doorway.

“Vanessa?”

“Oh my God, there you guys are!” she leans back into the house to yell, “Guys! I found Adam and Kai! They were fucking around in the backyard!”

“Hey!” Adam snaps indignantly. “You locked us in the basement! We had to escape!”

Vanessa rolls her eyes at them.

-

adam: hey uh

adam: sorry about what i said when i was drunk lol

adam: i didn’t mean it

-

Kai turns his phone off and stuffs it into his bag, frustrated. He hadn’t meant to not talk to Adam all weekend, he’d just needed to think things through, and then his dad had asked him to help paint the deck, and he’d had to finish up some code for robotics and time had kinda slipped away from him without really meaning to.

He hadn’t meant to ignore everyone else, either, but they weren’t in a Situation with Kai on Friday night, and he’s not in love with them, and they didn’t seem to mind so much. 

Kai had spent all weekend staring at the texts, in between being too busy to answer them, but he can’t figure out what to say back. He’d gotten them Saturday morning after the party, probably because he hadn’t stuck around long enough to be left alone with Adam again.

Kai had left because.

Well, because.

Because he feels played.

Is that it? He can’t tell. He just feels so hollow about it. Adam doesn’t mean to, Kai knows that, but it still feels like he’s being led on. Adam has kissed him once while black out and almost kissed him while tipsy and flirts pretty outrageously, and it’s all too much for Kai’s head, which is designed for building robots and lying to his English teachers.

So at lunch, instead of going to Mr Tucker’s room, he lets Freddie from Calc drag him to the auditorium to help build the drama department’s Spring play set.

He’s not avoiding anyone. He’s just... helping his friends.

Fuck.

-

reeb: ok i give

reeb: wtf is going on

kai: ?

reeb: don’t “?” me mfer

reeb: adam is sulking n shit and u’ve been sorta MIA

kai: i’ve been busy, sorry

kai: i am the captain of a team u know. its not personal. i’ll hang out with you guys soon

reeb: spidey sense says there is something u are not telling me

kai: i really do think your spidey sense is actually overactive bladder syndrome

reeb: [An image of the caveman spongebob meme.]

-

He’s in the library, sitting in his favorite spot nestled in the bookshelves, brow furrowed over The Great Gatsby, his English journal, the notes Hannah lent him, and the Sparknotes page for the novel, surrounded by every color highlighter and pen, just trying to get his homework done, when Adam ambushes him.

“You’re avoiding me,” he says, out of nowhere.

Kai jumps, sending his highlighters and books flying. Adam is standing above him, eyebrows furrowed and his arms crossed. He looks a little bit light a superhero, all righteous indignation at injustice, his muscles buldging slightly. You’re dead. Goodbye. his brain supplies.

“Holy shit,” he says, gathering his stuff back up slowly. “You scared me.”

Adam’s eyes soften. “Sorry,” he murmurs.

Kai shrugs. “Don’t worry about it.”

The silence hangs there as Kai avoids his gaze, reshuffling Hannah’s notes back into their correct order. He’s lost his page in the book, so he opens it to the middle and starts looking for the correct page number. There’s no sound in this corner of the library except for Kai’s over-loud breathing and the turning of pages.

Go away go away go away, Kai prays, wanting the world to end so he won’t ever have to face this moment. He thinks about the echo of Adam’s voice in his memory, Kai, look at me, the feeling of Adam’s weight in his lap, the ache Kai feels when he looks at Adam, and wishes that he could just stand up and run.

Adam clears his throat. “You’ve been avoiding me,” he says again, only this time it comes out more like a question.

Kai keeps his face as blank as possible, schools it into something politely curious unlike the shattered glass mosaic he feels like. “Am I?”

Adam rubs his hand across the back of his neck. “Look, I’m sorry,” he says haltingly, sliding his hands into his pockets. “I shouldn’t have... come on to you like that. It was inappropriate, and we were both drunk. And I didn’t mean it.”

Kai looks at him for a long moment. He can feel it, a rock on his chest, crushing him. He feels the ball in his throat, the hot prickle against the backs of his eyelids. “I know,” he says eventually. His voice comes out steady, even though he feels like he’s falling apart.

“So... we’re cool?”

Kai forces himself to nod. “Okay.”

“Really? Because I still feel like I fucked up somewhere here.” Adam takes his hands out of his pockets to open them, palms up, like he’s pleading. “Tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it.”

And it’s now or never. As much as Kai abhors the idea of talking about his feelings in the school library at 4 PM, as much as he wants to just lie through his teeth and stitch this all back up into one big internal bag of FUCK and pretend like nothing happened, he’d be leaving Adam hanging, and Kai’s not a dick.

He takes a deep breath. Then another one. He tries to channel his internal Reeve, but decides against it because Reeve’s kinda an asshole.

“I just... wish you did,” Kai says eventually. If he wasn’t himself, he’d slap him. Adam stares at Kai like he’d just spoken another language, like he’d just spat out part of a puzzle to piece together.

“Wish I did... what?” he asks slowly.

“Mean it,” Kai grits out, the words dragged from him. He feels ridiculous. This is stupid.

“Mean...?” Adam says, like he’s stupid. Kai scowls at him.

“Do you remember the St Eve’s party?”

Adam shrugs, looking helpless and confused.

“I drove you home that party. I drive you home every party. And every time we’re alone, you say that you like me, that you want me to go inside with you, that you think about me all the time,” Kai’s stomach is churning and Adam looks like he’s about to faint.

“I didn’t...”

Kai can’t hear him say it again. “And I know that you’re just drunk, and that’s just what you’re like when you’re drunk, but I just... I just wanted it to be true so bad. Part of me kept driving you home because I wanted you to be like that with me, part of me just wanted to pretend. But then you kissed me, and I just...” Kai makes a helpless gesture with his hands.

Adam licks his lips. He’s breathing a bit hard.

“...Fell apart,” Kai finishes.

Adam’s looking at him, wide-eyed, deer-in-the-headlights look, pure panic. Kai’s fucked it up, ruined their friendship, destroyed their friend-group, and will probably be unable to look anyone in the eye for a very long time. 

Adam didn’t want to hear this. Kai should’ve just lied, shut it all up and let himself wither up inside. He should’ve avoided Adam harder, or refrained from falling in love with him in the first place. He should’ve just dated Jesse when she’d asked and made himself get over Adam.

 “How long?”

Kai blinks. “Huh?”

“How long have you wanted...?” he shrugs.

Ah. The million dollar question.

“Officially? Middle of junior year. If I’m honest with myself? Probably since middle school.”

Adam’s mouth opens and closes nonsensically. Kai asks God to strike him down, just so this can end, just so Kai can go back to trying to figure out what the fuck is up with Gatsby and Jay, just so Adam will stop looking at him like that, like Kai’s killed his puppy.

Adam drops to his knees in front of Kai.

“Okay. Since freshman year. And I’m a liar. I did mean it. I kept thinking, you know, maybe you’d like me back, because I could see you looking, but I just couldn’t make myself say anything. And I meant it. I mean it. I do. I want to kiss you.”

Kai swallows. He’s feeling that dangerous thing again, like there are snakes in his chest, or his feelings are in a bucket that’s about to overflow.

“Okay,” he squeaks out.

Adam leans down and fits their mouths together. It’s chaste, and Kai’s lips are a little bit chapped, and he didn’t close his eyes, but when Adam pulls back Kai smiles so hard his mouth hurts. 

And he leans up to kiss Adam, insistent, insistent, tasting Adam without Hennessy whiskey (and he does taste fantastic), and something electric happens to Kai’s spine when their tongues touch. He feels like he’s going to burn up, burst into stars, create a fissure in the earth that goes down to the core, or all three at once.

Adam licks along the roof of Kai’s mouth and yeah - that’s the one thing he’d like to never, ever, ever forget.

He’s about to be totally, totally, totally screwed. 

-

Group: dandilyin hoes MFERsssss!! skeet DONT CHANGE CHAT NAME

mirakat: omfg

mirakat: k & a suckin face in library

mirakat: [A blurry creeper picture of Kai pressed against the bookshelves, Adam leaning over him. Their silhouettes are blacked out against the sunlight streaming in through the window, so they almost look like one body. It’s taken at an angle and half of a wooden shelf is in frame.]

speedyskeet: arent they in this GC too

lochnessa: Lmfaaooooooo

speedyskeet: they r gonna see this.....

reever: WTF ADAM’S INTO KAI???

reever: ?????

lochnessa: What planet do you live on

speedyskeet: fuckin jesus christ reeb

locknessa: Literally no one knew KAI was into Adam. EVERYONE KNEW ADAM WAS INTO KAI

reever: WHY AM I THE LAST ONE TO KNOW STUFF

mirakat: s2g i tld u this whn we were @ fortescue’s u nvr listen 2 me

-

“I hate them all,” Kai announces.

Adam looks up at him from where his head is pillowed on Kai’s thighs, Pride and Prejudice held aloft. 

“Don’t worry, I set all their ringtones to Maroon 5.”

send me a ship + a prompt and i’ll write you a drabble!

[honey-makki]

A little birdie tells me you want to do some sort of alphabet, if so could I please request one for akaashi💖💖 (need some new daydreaming material).

A is for Adventure: something they haven’t done but have always wanted to

He really wants to ride on a motorcycle. He thinks the wind pressing against him and his clothes flapping around is the closest he could ever get to flying. That being said he TERRIFIED of having to drive a motorcycle and doesn’t know anyone with one. So for now he will live out his dream by just driving around with his windows perpetually down.

B is for Butterflies: How they act when they’re nervous

He is so polite. Quiet, clean and always uses honorifics even if he normally wouldn’t. He is essentially trying to shrink into himself and be forgotten about. He doesn't like to cause any problems so he cleans up after himself and excuses him as soon as it's appropriate. I don’t see him fidgeting, rather just being super stiff and looking down. He can maintain a conversation but it feels forced. If he's trying to push through it more than normal he can make conversation better, but he stutters (which in turn makes him blush) and then he's a little fidgety. 

C is for Crush: what is it like when they have a crush? How do they know/act?

Follow up on the last part. He's gonna be nervous but he knows he needs to talk to them and make his presence known even if he is nervous. His hand is probably gonna be glued to the back of his head/neck. He might seem to be a shade or two darker when interacting with you but goddamnit is he gonna talk. Probably goes and reevaluates his life after you leave and like stands in the corner with his head against the wall (same)

D is for Date: describe an ideal date for them

He loves window shopping with you. He stays trapped inside for his job a lot and just going out able to stretch his legs is a relief, and if you are in tow it's infinitely better. He's the type of man who can make grocery shopping fun and a date. His favorite thing is walking with you to a nearby park for an afternoon picnic or just stargazing. You love to tease him that the stars are hard to see because of the city lights and he always gets embarrassed. He just loves laying with you in a comfortable silence so let it slide because let’s be real, you love it too

E is for Essential: what is one thing they could NEVER go without

Water bottle. He bought an expensive sturdy glass water bottle when he first entered college to both remind him to drink water to be hydrated (he gets killer migraines if he isn’t) and also to hopefully discourage him from buying coffee all the time. He is positive he would have drank himself to death either with a caffeine overdose or end of term celebrations without his trusty water bottle reminding him to drink some water.

F is for Favorite: a favorite anything- food, place, smell, book, etc.

His favorite thing in the whole world is a glass of fresh orange juice during the sunrise. Yes, he has a caffeine addiction, but he saves that for when he is fully starting his day. He loves to just take in the wonder of the world and life itself before he thinks about the actual day ahead. Looking at birds chirping or people starting their day and walking through the city while he's still in his frumpy pajamas and housecoat waking up slowly.  It's the one thing he would never be able to give up in his routine. (if you made him switch to apple juice he could probably do it, but he wouldn’t be happy about it.)

G is for Giggle: how they laugh/what makes them laugh

His laugh is quiet. It almost sounds like he’s always trying to muffle it, and maybe he is, because on the rare occasion when you land a really good joke, or he’s just so exhausted, a deep, deep, hearty laugh echoes out of his gut. The sound doesn’t even look like it should come from him but the way his face flushes the most subtle shade of pink when he realizes how loud he was makes it all uniquely Keiji. You can’t get enough.

H is for Holding Hands: Do they like holding hands? Are their hands warm or cold? Pinky promises?

Cold, clammy hands. You theorize he might have anemia just based on how cold he runs and you can tell that he is self-conscious about his hands. He loves to hold your hands in theory but rarely initiates it because he thinks it must be a little gross since they are a little sweaty. He instead links a finger with yours when walking, pinkies held rather than full hands. 

I is for Inside Joke: something they do that everyone thinks is funny but they don’t understand

Your freshman history class was the bane of your existence and subsequently, Akaashi’s since he helped you study and listened to you complain. After a very very long night, you both decided to take a nap before morning classes instead of pulling an all-nighter. In his exhausted state he said “goodnight, queen mary of scots” and promptly passed out. Now you both say farewell to each other as royalty. “See ya later, Princess Diana.” or “I brought you a glass of water, King George, good night!” No one else knows why and frankly it wasn’t even that funny but you don’t think you could stop if you wanted to at this point.

J is for Jinx: Are they Superstitious?

He isn’t superstitious but he also isn’t willing to push his luck. Like he doesn't believe in ghosts but he doesn’t do anything intentionally to upset them. He just doesn’t see the point in pushing his luck on something he thinks is so inconsequential. The most superstitious thing he does is just walking through his apartment every night checking all the windows/doors but that's mostly because he watches way too much true crime tv. He also is able to be convinced to play with an ouija board but only when he's trashed. Will NOT play one of the summoning games like bloody mary. 

K is for Kiss: how do they kiss?

Keiji is an attentive kisser. He wasn’t bad at first and he wasn't good either. It was a pleasant but fairly neutral experience. Every time after was better and better as he saw what made you tick. He can lead but if you want to that’s fine too. If you want him to hold you close and steady or run his hands across your body, he can do both. He’s attentive and flexible, meeting your needs with ease once he learns your tells. His favorite is slow and sensual kissing in bed though when early morning kisses lingering just a touch too long.

L is for Love Language: what is their love language? How do they give and how would they like to receive love?

Akaashi is best at giving words of affirmation, but if you struggle to accept that he's going to immediately fall back into acts of service, because hey, actions speak louder than words right? He always sends you a motivational message before your tough labs or work shifts, reminding you of how strong and smart you are before an exam, or bringing you a coffee and pastry when you’ve been cooped up studying for hours on end. He doesn’t receive words of affirmation well but they mean the most to him, even if he won’t admit that he goes to sleep thinking about whatever pet name you called him earlier that day. You would guess that physical touch is his love language. He finds solace in knowing you are there. It doesn’t have to be a big touch, but he's significantly happier if you are both on the couch and your legs are on his lap, even if it leaves him in a more uncomfortable position. 

M is for Meant to be: how/when they know someone is “the one”

You buy him his favorite book. That’s how the idea that you are the one really starts swimming around. You knew he had a favorite copy of his book, but when you saw this decorative hardback or signed copy you had to get it. Whenever he is working you bring him a black tea but a green tea when he's done. You know green tea is his favorite, but you don’t want him to start associating it with something stressful, so unless he requests it, you save it for the happier times. It's a simple thing, to know his two favorite teas, but to treat something so insignificant in this fashion makes him realize how he really can’t imagine his life without you anymore.

N is for Nickname: a nickname they would have or their favorite thing to be called

He loves being called traditional names. Dear, love, sweetheart. He calls you them as well but he likes to find ones that make you blush so he has a rotating cast of names that also include doll, princess, angel, sweet pea.  His favorite one is beautiful. He once wrote you a poem about how the definition of beautiful has ever been changed by your kindness and care for the world, and since then whenever you hear that you know exactly what he is implying and you melt. He loves it.

O is for Organization: are they clean or messy?

Yes. common areas are pretty clean! Doesn’t like to vacuum often and can be a little slow on the dishes but he always has time set aside to do the cleaning. His room though…. Man, that shit is MESSY! But like the type of mess where you can’t see a single part of his desk but you can tell that he has it set up so he is getting the most out of every inch. His laundry is sometimes done but isn't on the floor, he just has two laundry baskets (one clean and one dirty) and *also* a separate chair that is definitely not there just so he can put semi-clean clothes there and is very much for sitting. Just as his cat who has claimed it as their own.

P is for Pet Peeve: What’s something they absolutely CAN’T stand?

Resistance to change or growth. He gets that it’s scary but does understand for the life of him the ability to find comfort in stagnation. He is always growing and learning and changing and being a better version of himself and the fact that some people are ok not doing that leaves him feeling weird. A good example of this is when people don't accept he didn't know something or were wrong in an argument. Being wrong or uninformed isn't a bad thing, but choosing to stay there is. 

Q is for Quiet: What do they do for peace of mind

I think in high school he took up meditation before games and if stress is high they revert back to a long morning guided meditation and any small ones that they might need in the middle of the day to make him at ease. He also just goes out on his balcony or opens his window and just closes his eyes. The sound of the city and the smell of wet pavement intermingling with street food is a constant comfort and always manages to ground him

R is for Rainy Day: Do they like rain? What about storms? How would they spend a rainy day?

WET! PAVEMENT! SMELL! PETRICHOR!!!! If he had the option, he would be on his balcony with you, a green tea, and a book. Listening to the city bustle despite the sky’s resistance and finding respite from the rain in his book. The steaming green tea you brewed for the two of you bringing you just the touch of warmth you needed to be comfortable in the cooler weather. And you. He has everything he needs. 

S is for Soft: Describe their softest feature

His skin is so soft. All of his skin, but ever since you made him take up a bare-bones skincare routine, it’s almost insulting how his skin is almost expelling a light radiant glow. Even when it’s marred by a pimple or his deep sleep circles, his skin is still soft, rivaling an angel. He doesn’t like you touching his face that much outside of the comfort of his bed and sleepy morning touches, but it’s ok because his arms are just as soft under your touch.

T is for Telephone: are they a talker or a texter? How often do they use their phone?

Keiji is one of those people who does actually like to talk on the phone. If he's just sending you an update on his eta or something simple he will text, but with his job, it's easier for him to just close his office door, put you on speaker, and continue working. Often it reminds you of how you would talk to each other on the phone every night in high school. Your animated conversations slowly squashed by sleep until you are left fighting off sleep just to spend another second with each other. 

U is for Unique: a random quirk they have

He has to brush his teeth before and after breakfast. It stems from childhood not knowing if he would have time to eat every morning but still needing to have clean teeth. He’s probably never needed to see a dentist in his life because he also flosses every night. ok almost every night. 

V is for Valentine: Are they the type to celebrate or not?

no but yes. He doesn’t believe in Valentine’s day and being forced to make grand gestures once a year. He believes you should show your partner love daily and do larger showings or dates when you feel personally inclined, not because of societal influence. He knows it’s a capitalistic scheme but if you would be upset by not doing something, he will make sure to make a nice home-cooked dinner (it's great but only because he’s been practicing all week and eating his bad first, second etc. tries) and get an expensive bottle of wine. He does want you to feel loved but he hopes you always feel like that. (if y’all decided to not celebrate he still does a big date around valentines though just to remind you how important you are to him) 

W is for Wholesome: something extremely pure about them that makes you just *uwu*

He got y’all promise rings when you graduated high school. He had a whole speech about how he was 100% confident he was going to marry you but wants to have a steady income and life to support you before proposing. He wears his on his ring finger and plays with it absentmindedly while zoning out with a tiny smile on his lips. Yours is on a chain around your neck just long enough so it falls next to your heart. He always kisses it when he kisses down your body, a reminder his promise is still as true as ever.

X is for Xenia: How they would entertain a guest/show hospitality

He must have a sixth sense that someone is coming over because he always just happens to be brewing some tea or throwing a pot of coffee on. Even if you swing by randomly on your lunch break he’s always prepared. (And if he is coming to yours, he always brings two things at least. A bottle of water because he knows how easy it is to forget to hydrate, and one of your go-to beverages.) He also keeps his living room very homey and comforting with blankets, candles, and lamps. Just somewhere people don’t feel bad about intruding into. A comforting safe space. 

Y is for Youth: A fond childhood memory they have

Akaashi always loved reading and knew people wrote books but he didn’t do too well at creative writing so he knew he couldn’t. He figured he would always be stuck doing the reading as a consumer and find a job as something else, but when someone else moved in next door when he was 8 it changed. This person was a publisher, and during a dinner, Akaashi’s parents invited them to, Akaashi ended up badgering them with any information they had about the writing world. That summer they opened up Akaashi’s eyes to the different types of jobs, in different genres and styles. Anytime he feels overwhelmed at work he thinks back to that summer where he learned that he could help writers with their works and make the experience of reading a book even better. His eyes were filled with stars then and they still are now. 

Z is for Zzz: Sleep habits. Do they cuddle in their sleep? Talk? What do they dream about?

Akaashi needs to be either cradled up in someone’s arms or holding someone in his to fall asleep. He just gets so cold and having someone flush against him is what gets him to fall over the edge. You probably wake up with your head on his chest or legs still intertwined. He doesn't snore but is a very heavy breather. The only time you heard him snore was when he got pneumonia last year and he had the cutest tiniest snores you’d ever heard. He has dreams frequently but never remembers them. They are actually normally nightmares and when you see him crying your heart breaks but he's fairly unaffected other than a potential headache since he doesn't recall any of it. he has a secret dream journal for the tiny bits he does remember and he wants to write a series of spooky short stories one day with them as inspiration

a/n: @keijiskitten hope you also enjoy this. thanks for sprinting w me <333333333