#watch me spend this much time on this picture and then impulsively post it at stupid oclock at night when no one will see it

[benevolenterrancy]

"Hello Mr Holmes," says Wiggins, "have you heard from your brother recently?" "No, I have not, why? What is he up to now?" "We're not entirely certain, but he's been missing since yesterday morning." "He often goes missing Mr Wiggins. He will turn up again."

I just finished playing the final case of Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective: Baker Street Irregulars and boy howdy it was amazing. If you've never tried this board game, I can't recommend it enough. This final case took us about eight hours to finish, it killed us to put it aside each day unfinished.

"Wiggins," says Mycroft suddenly as we are just on our way out. We turn back and are surprised to see a pleading, almost desperate, look in his eyes. "Find Sherlock," he says, "and find him quickly." Circle the letter H.

[wakeup01]

How do you imagine you if you were dumb ?

I imagine I’d spend a lot more time working out, after all, gotta find something to fill the void when your brain is so thick and empty. And working out would make me uncontrollably horny all the time. My dong perpetually stiff. I’d get off on my body getting bigger, as my mind gets smaller. Feeling it with each push up or lift, that rush of pleasure rewarding my fat musclehead. Laughing with that telltale, vacuous chuckle. Counting each rep, 1…2..3…104 - until I lose track. Losing track of who I was.

All my hobbies would easily be replaced by going to the gym, like a second home. Being surrounded by equally air headed bros only helps me accept pure idiocy. I’d be an attention whore, enjoying the glances and objectification. A piece of smelly, sweaty meat for others to enjoy. Only adding incentive to bulk up further. Enough is never enough when your head is just a gloried dumbbell.

And then there’s my online presence. Writing anything would be so much harder and incomprehensible, my posts would be a stream of short messages proclaiming how hot I was. Like: ‘braah jus been to the jym n feeling fukin swole huhuh’.

You guys would love watching me as I devolve into simplified jockdom, encouraging me to go further, to get dumber. Witnessing as my account turns into picture after picture of my sweaty body slowly getting bigger and more muscled until it defines my whole identity. Another basic jock to fawn over. Too impressionable and dim to refuse the requests to show more selfies. I’m starting to feel the impulse already, to show off. To flex. Lik, bro, look at me.

More pictures, less text. Yuh dude. Until there’s not a single fuckin word on my whole page.

[ceratedfish24]

Thoughts on Scott and Impulse?

Hello Anon! Sorry I took so long to answer this one. I have strong feelings about Scottpulse, so I wanted to be able to answer this ask in a way that conveyed my feelings properly. However, with traveling to and from Thanksgiving backing up a couple of asks and then going straight into my exams afterwards, I haven't had a lot of time to think this one through.

Scottpulse is the physical manifestation of a warm hug. Those two are fairy lights and pillow forts and the default hosts of Friendsgiving for the Americans.

Impulse would get caught up in how pretty Scott is all of the time. He can't wrap his head around how Scott looks so beautiful in every lighting at every angle. He's just so photogenic all of the time. Impulse isn't a big picture taker, but he takes most of the photos Scott posts on social media. Now, Scott knows that he's pretty. He better be pretty. He puts a lot of effort into looking nice, and he enjoys the attention. However, Impulse is so earnest about how gorgeous he finds Scott to be, and it's his sincerity and emotional vulnerability that makes Scott coy.

Scott is the type to have a panic attack during a horror movie, while Impulse acts tough and big and strong. Meanwhile, Scott is totally calm and comfortable during True Crime shows, while Impulse is completely horrified the whole time. Impulse is all "this is REAL LIFE!! You hate the fictional ones, but this is REAL" and Scott's like "yeah but sometimes it just be like that :)".

Not a day goes by where Scott isn't blown away by Impulse's technical knowledge. He loves to watch Impulse work, and Impulse loves to talk Scott through what he's doing. Scott thinks that Impulse's intelligence is so very attractive, even though Scott, himself, has absolutely no idea what's going on the whole time.

Impulse has talked on the Imp & Skizz podcast about wanting to get really into decorating his home for the holidays, especially since he still has young kids. I can imagine Scott being so excited that Impulse wants to decorate and asking Impulse to make a list of everything in his vision. Then, Scott and Impulse buy some of those big blow-up decorations and DIY a bunch of decorations. They're very proud of it.

Additionally, I've seen some art of Wild Life Episode 7 Impulse in blue and orange as a superhero costume, and it's the same shades that Scott picked for his Transporter New Life SMP character, which is also a character that teleports and swaps places with people. All I'm saying is.... boyfriend clothes :)

Most of the time, Impulse is pretty mild when flirting with friends, but I think he would be a very romantic partner to Scott. It might not be entirely in his nature, but he knows how much Scott really appreciates a big gesture now and then. The first time Impulse set up a big thing, it was a romantic dinner with Scott's favorite scented candles, a home cooked meal he knew Scott would like, and a nice bottle of wine. He wore a black button up with long sleeves rolled up to his elbows and brown dress pants. Scott very much had a "am I being seduced right now" moment when he walked in.

Elle (Scott's cat) and Prim (Impulse's dog) love each other. They're attached at the hip. They always greet both Impulse and Scott whenever they get home regardless of whether or not Impulse and Scott have come home together or separately.

They fret over each other like mother hens when one of them is sick. "What are you doing out of bed?!" "Here, this will boost your immune system." "If you need anything, text or call me immediately. No problem is too small. It's what I'm here for." Homemade soup is their love language.

Impulse loves Pitch Perfect and Taylor Swift. I know Scott loves Taylor Swift, and I have no doubt that he's a Pitch Perfect fan. They would listen to Pitch Perfect and Taylor Swift songs all of the time.

Socially, Scott and Impulse are Yin and Yang. Preferring to spend a most of his time with one or two people, Impulse is a little on the quieter side, while Scott tries to spend a little bit of time with everyone. Combined, they get ALL the gossip.

I don't know how to explain this one, but I just feel like the curtains in their bedroom are dark purple and completely opaque. I am extremely set on this headcanon for no reason. I will die on this hill. Sunlight shines in through slivers between the curtains, creating hard shadows that really bring out the colors of the room in the morning. In contrast, Impulse's hair is so soft under Scott's fingers.

I cannot explain why, but I am extremely dead set on their colors being royal purple and gold. That's their wedding color theme. I literally cannot fathom them as any other colors.

Thank you for the ask!!🩵🩵🩵

[gabessquishytum]

https://www.tumblr.com/athymelyreply/741449177837584384/reggyjester-skeletalroses-so-this-is-a?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/phoebo-fugiente/741458451982630912?source=share

--------

So between these two posts taking me out at the knees for different reasons, I now have Corset Thoughts:

Dream is corsetiere and he vends at his local Renaissance Faire. His corsets are all handmade, high quality and absolutely beautiful. He's very popular and his stall is always full of customers, especially because he accommodates so many different body types.

Hob is at the Renaissance Faire with his girlfriend, and it is her goal to get one of Dream's corsets. She's saved up her money, brought her measurements, etc. Hob decides to indulge her and try on one of the men's corsets Dream has available, and he has a million realizations at once about his body and how good it can look in a well fitting corset.

Ultimately, Hob doesn't buy his own corset even though his girlfriend agrees he looks amazing and absolutely deserves to have a nice quality corset of his own. But Hob is saving up money to propose, and he just doesn't have the extra cash to spend it on an impulse. His girlfriend leaves happily with her purchase though and swears they'll be back next year to get her a second one AND Hob's first corset.

One year later, Hob is back but he's alone this time. Turns out they wanted different things in life so they broke up and it's fine. They're still friendly. But Hob hasn't stopped thinking about that corset. Or the gorgeous coset maker at the Faire. And now that he no longer has a girlfriend to buy an engagement ring for, he now has a lot of extra cash to buy himself a corset... or three.

Hi this is so good!!!! I’m super obsessed with corsets in general and I am constantly in awe of corsetieres, their craftsmanship, and their dedication to making things that are size inclusive. The fact that we’re all acknowledging now that men in corsets are fucking incredible is a very good thing indeed.

I’m just imagining Dream’s face lighting up because he remembers Hob from the previous year and was hoping he’d come back. If he’s honest with himself he’s VERY attracted to Hob but he disguises his interest by asking if he can take a few pictures while Hob tries on the various available styles. He’s trying to get as many pictures as possible for his website so he can show that corsets are perfect for everyone! And Hob looks so good, he clearly belongs front and centre in Dream’s new marketing strategy…

So Hob hands over his measurements, and Dream brings out a selection of different designs for him to try. Most are the traditional laced up variety, but he’s also been experimenting with Velcro as some people can’t manage the laces so easy. Hob gushes on about how talented and thoughtful Dream is, and he seems to be completely in his element as he tries each one on and poses for photos. Dream blushes and stammers and asks if Hob’s girlfriend liked her corset? Which leads to Hob explaining about the breakup.

Dream feels a huge sense of relief, and doesn’t feel quite so terrible about the fact that he can’t keep his eyes off Hob’s fantastic tits. The way the corset compresses the fabric of his shirt and makes absolutely sure that his chest hair is visible is driving Dream wild. His hands are shaking so much, he’s not even sure if the pictures he’s taking will be in focus.

Hob finally decides which corsets he’ll be taking home, and he can’t resist kissing the back of Dream’s hand in thanks. And when he cautiously asks if Dream would care to meet him at the mead tent when he’s due for a break, Dream nearly abandons his stall altogether just at the mere offer. Luckily, one of the other vendors offers to watch his stall for a bit, so Hob is able to spirit Dream away just for a little while. Yes, they do spend the whole time making out in a quiet corner, and yes, Dream does finally cop a feel of the Hoboobies.

Hob is about to have sooooo many pretty outfits designed just for him, the lucky bastard. In all fairness, he was absolutely made to wear corsets. Dream definitely isn’t letting him go!

[uyuforu]

People enjoying their last hours before Mercury enters retrograde tomorrow in Aries

Wht happens during this time ;)) and 4th and 7th house are more affected by it I g

Aries Mercury Retrograde through the Houses

Soooo first of all, this is about transits. Mercury is being in Retrograde, and depending on where it falls in your Natal Chart, as a transit, it can have a different meaning. I wanna say before telling more that @loveemagicpeace just made two posts about transits through houses that I loved very much!! So go check it out, it can help much!

Now let's talk about Mercury Retrograde through the houses!

જ⁀➴ Their first part of Transits through the Houses (1H to 6H)

જ⁀➴ Their second part of Transits through Houses (7H to 12H)

Pictures found on Pinterest

‧��˚✩彡 What is Mercury Retrograde?

⟡ Mercury is the planet of communication, our voice, the way we communicate our feelings, ideas, etc. This planet is all about communication in the end, so depending where it falls in your chart, it can tell a lot about what you talk the most about, how is your voice, how you express yourself, etc.

⟡ When a planet is Retrograde, that means they are going backward instead of frontward. It happens sometimes, but it then have an impact on the way we live and the events that can happen to us in our life. It can have an impact on us, for example for Mercury Retrograde in Transits usually things can be delayed, things can go more slowly. Things from the past can come back too, and you could also feel more nostalgic and wanting to come back to things or people from your past. Technologies can be grumpy too for example.

⟡ Mercury in Transits will tell usually about our conversations, how we will probably feel about talking, communicating, etc. Depending where Mercury transits will fall in your chart, in which houses and your personal planets it will touch, it can tell a lot about what you will probably want to talk about about and how you will communicate.

‧₊˚✩彡 Mercury Retrograde in Aries

⟡ This Mercury retrograde will be in Aries, and it will take place from April 1st until April 24th 2024. Many people think it will feel a bit chaotic and in a way I agree? lol.

⟡ Most of Astrologers think and say this because Mercury will be in the energy or Aries for almost whole April 2024. Aries energy is quick, unexpected, spontaneous, fast, strong, chaotic, etc. It just reminds me of a fire ball lmao.

⟡ Mercury Retrograde in Aries will make you perhaps take actions impulsively, you could take actions and think after, so be careful about it. But it can mean that unexpected things can also happen. Because it is Mercury, some people from the past can come back (it's something well known) so depending on which houses it is, you can know who it will be. It is a time to be brave, you will probably speak up more for what you want. Show that voice in the energy of Aries, but still try to slow down things. We can say things, and take decisions during this time a bit too fast, so you need to control yourself and try to really think before acting.

‧₊˚✩彡 Mercury Retrograde through the Houses

To see where Mercury Retrograde falls in your natal chart, just check your natal chart on astro.com, and click on "+ with Transits". The green placements are your transits, and so check where is green Mercury in your chart!

⟡ In the 1H

Mercury Retrograde in Aries in your 1H will be all about you. Perhaps during this transit, you will spend more time to reflect on you, as a person, as an individual, etc. You will think more about who you want to become and what you have done/ achieved already. It's a self reflexion right now. You could have a confidence boost about yourself and your decisions, but please slow down a bit! This Mercury Aries retrograde makes most of people act quickly without thinking twice. Your mind will perhaps be overflowed with ideas and thoughts, so maybe headache will happen more, you need to watch out for your head in general. Mental health will possibly be a thing during this transit. You will also probably have interesting conversations with people, and connecting with them will help you have more ideas about your personal projects. Who can possibly come back in your life at that time: someone related to you, someone you have been intimate with, an enemy, someone you had a fight with, a relative, someone you talked to a lot, a best friend, a sibling, a relative, etc.

⟡ In the 2H

Mercury Retrograde in Aries in your 2H is a perfect time to reflect a lot about your life and your long term decisions. You will perhaps live an intern conflict about your desires for your life, and you will need to stop and think about what you really want. You could think a lot about money in general, so it's a good topic to think about in this transit. You could perhaps have some urge to shop, probably more expensive things, so be careful about that and think about giving that cash! You could indeed use this transit into a better way to make more money rather than to spend it. Who can possibly come back in your life at that time: A colleague, a classmate, a childhood friend, a friend, a flirt, a love interest, someone related to money, someone related to real estate, etc.

⟡ In the 3H

Mercury Retrograde in Aries in your 3H will have an impact on your way to communicate. You will perhaps have fights and arguments with people in general, or you will gossip a lot, or will be gossiped about. You need to watch out about what comes out of your mouth during this transit, so please really think about talking! It could get you in more trouble. You could have new ideas during this transit, and you could also talk more in general. You could have an easier time to study or to work. You can indeed solve little problems in your life, but do not step in the bigger ones during this transit. You can be prone to bigger problems with transports or technologies than other people. Who can possibly come back in your life at that time: someone who gossiped about you, an enemy, a childhood friend, a sibling, a relative, a neighbor, a classmate, someone with whom you used to talk a lot, etc.

⟡ In the 4H

Mercury Retrograde in Aries in your 4H will have an impact on your home and family. In this case, you could have sudden fights with family members, you could argue easily with them, this could happen with friends too, people you are very close with in general. You will feel very emotional and mostly take decisions based on your feeling rather than on a certain logic. You will have a lot of issues with family members. It could also be issues with a home. Try to spend time with family members you feel comfortable with, don't waste time with other members with whom you know it will explode. Who can possibly come back in your life at that time: a family member, a friend, a childhood friend, a neighbor, a sibling, a relative, someone related to real estate, a soulmate, etc.

⟡ In the 5H

Mercury Retrograde in Aries in your 5H will have an impact on your love life, children (if you have some), siblings can be a thing too here, but also flirts, or situation ships you can have, romance in general, and your creativity, your fun. You could have a hard time with creativity during this time, you could also perhaps want to talk more about this, what excites you, and you will perhaps want to have more fun too. You could want to flirt more. You could talk also about children, or more about child psychology for example. Art and creativity in general will be more your thing, but with Mercury you could want to write more, it can also be journaling. You could want to communicate your thoughts too. You could want to reflect on your inner child a lot too, but also on your flirts and situation ships, and even relationships. Who can possibly come back in your life at that time: situation ships, love interests, a friend, a childhood friend, a sibling, a child, a crush, an ex, a karmic, a soulmate etc.

⟡ In the 6H

Mercury Retrograde in Aries in your 6H will be about your mental health. It can also be related to your work and career, perhaps more ideas to improve your daily life at work can happen, or you could find yourself work or study more. With this transit, watch out for arguments and fights at your work place. You will perhaps also talk and have more contact with clients (if you do have some) and so signing contracts are more prone these times. So you could find yourself be more prone to work. You could also think of more way to become more healthy (physically or mentally). Who can possibly come back in your life at that time: a colleague, a classmate, someone related to a job, someone related to health, a friend, someone you had a fight with, etc.

⟡ In the 7H

Mercury Retrograde in Aries in your 7H will have an impact on your love life, mostly long term or serious relationship, your marriage life if you are married, your contracts, but also enemies! I noticed that Mercury 7H Transit usually could you will have more conversation about your love life with your partner (if you have one), or if you are single, you will think often more about what you want in a relationship. It can be a time for proposing too... just saying! More with the energy of the Aries, things are spontaneous, unexpected, lol. Otherwise, watch out for fights with your loved one. You could also have unexpected love interest coming to you during this time or coming back! Who can possibly come back in your life at that time: a love interest, a crush, an ex, an enemy, someone you had a fight with, a flirt, a situation ship, a soulmate, etc.

⟡ In the 8H

Mercury Retrograde in Aries in your 8H will make you perhaps stay in your thoughts often. You need to watch out for deep thoughts and your mental health during this time. You could catch yourself having a lot of alerting thoughts, so please take care of yourself. You could also have an easier time to manifest, and you could attract money easily for example. Set your intentions well during the transit. Because Mercury is about communication and the 8H hidden truth, you could discover some secrets too, and it can be unexpected, or happen quite fast. You will perhaps take an interest in the occult too. Who can possibly come back in your life at that time: an ex, an enemy, someone you had a fight with, a flirt, a situation ship, a crush, a love interest, someone related to money, someone you have been intimate with, a karmic, a soulmate, etc.

⟡ In the 9H

Mercury Retrograde in Aries in your 9H could mean you will spend this time to study and learn new things! If you are in college, use this transit to study! It could also be a good time to find a job. You could meet new friends and you could also think of traveling often. You could want to plan your new trips. Some people could also go on a trip very spontaneously lol. Otherwise, you could find yourself be more spontaneous in your ideas and way of living? This could also be a good time to learn a new language or a new skill! Who can possibly come back in your life at that time: a friend, a childhood friend, a classmate, a colleague, someone you talked a lot with, a travel buddy, an internet friend, a sibling, a relative, someone related to a job, etc.

⟡ In the 10H

Mercury Retrograde in Aries in your 10H will make you want to think more about your career and your desire for your future long term plans. You will probably either talk or will want to talk to your boss about a promotion. It could be a great time to also get a job, and if you applied to some posts, during this transit you could get unexpected returns! It could come fast and out of the blue. You could feel very invested in your career life, and more ambitious too. Be careful of arguments and fights with colleagues or even bosses. Your reputation could also be something to watch out during the transit, so be careful about what you say. Some people could also gossip about you more during the transit. Who can possibly come back in your life at that time: a colleague, someone related to a job, a friend, a classmate, someone related to money, just a lot of random people because this house is the house of popularity and reputation, a relative, a family member, etc.

⟡ In the 11H

Mercury Retrograde in Aries in your 11H could be a good time to set intentions and manifest, as the 11H is also a house related to our dreams and wishes. You will think more of what you want in life and you will perhaps be filled with new ideas and dreams. So it's a time to re think about your desires. You could want to talk to a lot of friends, people in general. You could also chat a lot online, perhaps make a new online friend? You could post more often online too. If you work with technologies, this is a good transit to get new ideas. Who can possibly come back in your life at that time: a friend, an internet friend, a relative, a sibling, a childhood friend, someone with whom you talked a lot, someone with whom you had a fight, someone you never expected to come back, someone related to social medias, a travel buddy, a flirt, a love interest, a soulmate, etc.

⟡ In the 12H

Mercury Retrograde in Aries in your 12H is a time to reflect on who you are and who you want to be, what is not serving you in your life anymore. It's also a wonderful time for manifesting. This transit will perhaps make you spend time mostly by yourself, and you will think a lot about you and your life. It's a time of self reflection. You will be very private too. You could discover something too, a secret perhaps. But overall, meditate a lot, and don't be scared to spend time on your own. Relax also by painting, doing things that will cut your mind from unnecessary thoughts. Who can possibly come back in your life at that time: someone who you dreamed about recently, someone you wanted to manifest, a relative, a sibling, a family member, someone you didn't talk to in a long time, a travel buddy, someone you had a fight with, a soulmate, an enemy, a karmic, a flirt, a situationship, etc.

Thank you for reading!

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[amber-jinx]

With all the chaos going on with you, I’m sending you all my love and support ❤️ I apologize for not being around as much due to personal issues outside of social media, but I think I’m back for now!

Question: what do you think made Rachel intrigued with Chloe and observe her so much? And how long do you think she was watching Chloe before they started talking?

Aw thank you so much! Please don't apologise for that, everyone should have the freedom of choosing where they spend their time :) Sending back love & support as well, hopefully things turn out well at your end ����

Also once again, hella great questions!!

The 1st question reminds me of this Rachel pov fic that I've been translating, it says:

"At first it was mere curiosity.

Most people put on their good side with purpose, but Chloe does just the opposite; She disguises herself with a bad side, opposing and mocking everything; She puts on a pissed-off expression, as if a smile would make her face rot, when actually she’s purer and kinder than anyone else, plus her personality is more interesting than I had imagined."

I think initially Rachel kinda believed Chloe to be what people speak of her. As principal Well's assistant, perhaps she also knew Chloe's on a scholarship, and that she's failing her subjects and on Well's list of high-risk students. She must've wondered,

"Why would someone on the prestigious Blackwell scholarship be so.. bad ? What happened to her?" (how come she's such a lone wolf now, people said she didn't use to be like this)

We also know Rachel secretly has a side that wants to pursue things that are off-limit/wild/dangerous, and Chloe being the one that stood out to her in this way, quickly became her subject of interest, so she kept and eye out for Chloe from a distance.

"Hey, I notice things! I can't help it." -- it's automatic at that point of her noticing Chloe

Later on, Rachel, by whatever means (like seeing the photo of Bongo the cat in Chloe's locker", started to realise that the notorious Chloe Price might not be who she really is at all. And so with a natural tendency to want to understand & read people, she's intrigued to find out more.

Ofc let's not forget, Chloe's hella good looking to Rachel. Lmao Rachel you stared at those legs a tad too long buddy.

While there's no telling how long exactly she's watched Chloe, there are some clues.

"Really? I see you acting like you're tough all the time in school." -- to Chloe, who claimed to not be an actor.

"That doesn't sound like Chloe Price" (park) - at that point in time (frustrated & on impulse) she's still wanting to think of Chloe as this bad girl to do rebellious/prohibited things with, even though she knows that's just on the surface (but she didn't care at that point)

Rachel's still a "newcomer" to Blackwell, despite being on the school photo. Perhaps she moved to Arcadia like a year ago or less, and had spent a school term along with Chloe already, given her established popularity & recognition from the school itself.

So I don't know, maybe she's been watching Chloe within the time range of two/three weeks to a month and a half?

And as we know, later she saw Chloe also at the Firewalk show, & realised they have similar interests & music taste!

Ah, a picture with crush! Look at how happy Rachel looks in that selfie 😸 & it's not here but notice how when Chloe first bumped into Rachel the latter was like, lemme take a good look at you Chloe Price, then stared at her face for 2 seconds.

Rachel: time to make a move to find how who she really is.

I find it cute that it's also kinda the same for Chloe, who realised that Rachel's more than the surface-level "pop girl with good grades".

So yeah, I sort of rushed through this post a lil bit in the midst of finals/crunch time, but I hope it still answers your question! Til next time, xo.

[hot-take-tournament]

ngl kind of breaks my heart to see you used one of those ai bot things after the entire vocaloid debate. i really don't like that you did that and i'm a little disappointed. can you please not do that again?

I know - I do need to address this before anything else, because I fucked up

Please read the whole thing

If any of you don't know the context of this ask;

Basically, a while back I used the program AI Dungeon to generate a hot take for fun;

That's the program they use for those chaotic AI videos you find on youtube, like the ai ace attorney clown case and the sonic destruction scripts, which has some absolutely wild moments like these

I just put in a couple one-sentence questions to see what it would give me, not really expecting anything. But the take it did finally give me was not only completely depraved, but also felt like such a weirdly personal attack on me specifically that it left me genuinely speechless.

So, even though I didn't originally intend to do this, I decided to secretly make a poll for it claiming it was a submission, because I thought it might be fun to see if you guys could guess which one of the polls was the fake one, Blade Runner style.

I generated the take on the same day that submissions originally closed, but I only came clean about it last night because I started to feel super guilty about it after reading the vocaloid discourse - but the way I did it was vague, shitty and insincere.

I know it was 4 in the morning and I said I was going to get some sleep when I made the post last night, but after I saw the asks I immediately got about that post - like this one - I instead deleted it after like 2 minutes and spent the next 4-5 hours scouring the internet for as much information about this as I could find so I could get the full picture. This isn't the first time I fucked up on this blog because I didn't do my research, so I think I massively overcompensated - I really didn't want a repeat of that time the master post accidentally triggered multiple people's OCD; I still feel awful about that.

And as a result, I ended up passing out on my bathroom floor, which is why you haven't heard from me in a while.

I did genuinely read all the vocaloid discourse (asks, replies, notes, all of it) - but since I pulled this stunt ages ago, and the secret poll is already up, it was already too late. And it was because of that vocaloid discourse that I felt like it would just make me a hypocrite if I just swept it under the rug and kept quiet while everyone else was talking about the exact same subject, so I decided to just tell you guys as soon as possible because I'd feel shitty if I didn't - but I still phrased that post in a more light-hearted way because that was what I originally intended this whole thing to be, which was definitely a mistake, and I can't apologise enough for that.

And I know I didn't clarify this in that original post, but like I said, the program I used was AI Dungeon, which was something I remembered having fun with back in 2019/2020, spending hours generating unhinged Ace Attorney cases; and I remembered I still had an account from back then when it was still free to play, even though I hadn't touched it in 4 years - and I realised I would still be able to bypass the paywall using it.

I'd also just watched those snapcube Sonic Destruction videos that I linked above and it reminded me of that. And I dug up those old AI Dungeon Ace Attorney cases that I had generated and then recreated in objection i.o. back when I was 17/18, and had been sitting on my old computer's hard drive for ever since - and they still made me smile a little. So that's how I got the impulse to do this.

And that's also why, even though I knew about the writer's strike and do fully support it, it just didn't occur to me that the AI that gave us that same insane Sonic Destruction script that I'd just watched would be one of the programs the writers were striking over - I just assumed that it was only programs like ChatGPT, that can produce coherent scripts based on the accumulated information users feed into it; because those are programs that could definitely potentially be used to replace human writers. That's something AI Dungeon can't do, because it doesn't retain user input after you shut it down.

So I just saw AI Dungeon as that goofy ass confused AI that I loved as a kid, the one that provides insanely weird responses out of the blue as it desperately tries to cobble together a narrative, and it was used in videos that I still really like. And I thought it would be fine.

That was how I justified it at the time - but in hindsight, given how much I hate other GPT programs like ChatGPT, as well as AI art and all other generated content overall, it just makes me even more of a stupid hypocrite for making an exception for this one simply because I was blinded by nostalgia, and not bothering to look it up back then like I should've done. Because at the end of the day, a GPT program is a GPT program.

SO - Here's what I found online while reading up on it last night:

Because of the outdated GPT model AI Dungeon runs on, it isn't possible from a technical standpoint for it to learn like ChatGPT does. Even though it still uses a dataset, as far as I can tell it genuinely can't add to that dataset from user input except for when it explicitly asks for feedback (rarely, it will generate two responses instead of one, and ask you to pick the best one so it can learn - but you can turn that feature off.) And while it does try to learn while you're using it, it can't carry that information over between sessions. So even if you reload the same page again, it won't retain what it learned last time.

(Here's some information I found while combing ancient reddit threads that explains this better than I can)

But even if all of that is true, it doesn't matter.

Latitude, the developers of AI Dungeon, are super fucking scummy, and you shouldn't support them.

If you want to look up all of the many, many controversies surrounding AI Dungeon, you can - but I won't link them here, because serious content warnings apply.

Do not use this program.

I really hope the anon who sent this ask - and everyone else who called me out on this - stuck around, because I am so, so grateful that you all sent these, otherwise I probably would never have known.

I deleted the post almost instantly (because like I said, it was too light-hearted), and I'm really glad I did. And I swear I won't pull this shit again.

I know a lot of you hate the fact that I did this - that original post genuinely got me blocked by more of you guys than every single one of the polls combined - which is totally fair, and I wouldn't blame any of you for doing the same now.

I really just want to move on from this - but I can't just pretend that it didn't happen.

Support the writer's strike, don't use any AI programs.

I'm really sorry about this, and the fact that I didn't take it seriously enough - like I said, I promise it won't happen again.

</3

[valentijnsstuff]

I don't even post on tumblr that actively anymore, but I think it's good to keep up my week report, even if it's just for myself.

Monday some gay shit happens (see last week report)

Tuesday some more gay shit happens. I clean my house, see my dad and go to a queer meetup about polyamory. All the poly besties are there. I proceed to be a menace and annoy all of them for attention seperatly (they all think I am cute). During the actual talk group, I provide some queer youngsters with cuddles. I offer the person who is practically my neighbor and who keeps cuddling me really intimately a ride home and they invite me in for more cuddles. They cuddle me in ways that make even me flustered. I go home with increased feelings of falling for this person.

Wednesday morning I do nothing 👍 in the afternoon my volunteer comes over for the first time. He's a funny, but concerningly normie gay guy. I feel like I'm babysitting him more than he is me (Boooooo). Neighbor cutie text me if I can hang out again and I have to say no (sad). Thank god my homecare besties ask if I want to go for an impulsive evening walk on the beach, so I ditch volunteer. We walk untill we are super hungry and order roti rolls for dinner.

Thursday. I go to teach comic workshop at a highschool. Couldn't sleep out of nervousness bc its the first time in a year doing the one thing that traumatized me to begin with (teaching teenagers while visibly trans). All in all it actually goes pretty okay, one of my comic friends is there and good work is done. I make a bombass dinner and text neighbor cutie if they want some food and they actually say yes. We circle the subject of our flirts a couple of times, and tease eachother a whole lot in the process. Meaningful conversations about kink and friendships also happen. Eventually I have the gut to say that their teasing make me want to kiss them on the mouth, their reply is that I should ask for a kiss then (the teasing is neverending with this guy) We do end up kissing, its very sweet. I get a bit insecure and fidgety about asking too much, but they reassure me all is good.

Friday, day two of teaching workshops at the highschool. The older students have noticed me and are starting to make comments within earshot, which puts me on edge. Two seperate times I turn around and tell the guys (it's always dudes) that they should just say it to my face. Both times are met with them defensively reacting to my confrontation, but not owning up to their shit (maybe for the better). Teaching classes actually goes well, eventho I am tired as hell. The kids are behaved enough and make great work. I even get to talk to one class that I would prefer to be called 'mister' and the kids really try their bestest. I accidently skip therapy bc I am double booked with work and forgot to cancel the session (or just didn't want to idk). My hookup date for the evening cancels, but I'm not even mad. Probably for the better to have a night of nothing. Post funny pictures of myself in a maid dress on insta, all the homies go wild.

Wake up saturday morning with the idea I can take it easy. Eat breakfast, do make up, make a foxy little video of dancing to my favorite song. Oops now its actually already time to go. Bring lunch to my comic bestie, who has a booth at a small local furry con. I get to spend the day in my maid outfit and feel cute and help out my bestie (yay). I drink bubble tea with way too much sugar and feel really wired from all the sounds and sights. I run into my younger cousin who I dont speak to often (he is a gay furry lol). Also so many transmascs, its a good time. I text my poly bestie to see if she is into a spontaneous cuddle session, she declines politely. I go to a birthday party of friends I haven't seen in a long time. I proceed to bother everyone there for attention.

Sunday, I dont even feel that bad emotionally, but I had insomnia the night before, so my body refuses and I just spend the whole day in bed. I watch anime, cook way too much mapo tofu, but can't be arsed to do anything else.

Monday starts really slow, but I manage to 10 pushups (new record!). I go the the office to work, but my head is heavy and I cant focus at all. I want to blame the airflow in the building, but I'm also just running low on energy bc I didn't eat enough. End up calling some people to say hi and check in on instead. Do some shopping, do some tufting. My friend who I was supposed to hang with in the evening cancels. Go home and eat more mapo tofu. I make the mistake of opening Grindr and get chatted up by some supringly nice people. One them is a bottom who really wants me to top him (haha funny), and the other a clingy autistic transfemme who is lonely and just wants to hang out. I have an impromptu hangout session with her at 11 in the evening. We drink tea and watch dungeon Meshi. Feel very wired afterwards and dont fall asleep untill 4.

[riftclaw]

I have not had the time to really keep up w social media lately but I did enter V into @sonic-oc-showdown so I’m throwing together a post about him for anyone who hasn’t seen him before. Sege linked me a list of questions for an ask game so I’m going to answer those under the cut.

He also has a toyhouse page, which is a little out of date, but very lightly touches some darker topics (some medical and medical experimentation themes, mentions of drug use, mentions of trauma, violence and mental illness). V is a long-time comfort character which also means he has suffered so much bc that’s how we roll sometimes.

Art credits: me, Tracey Yardley!, @werewolfri0t, @spiritsonic, @pidgeonspen, @forkthief, @sege-h, @finitevus, @fini-mun, @starlitskvader (Legitimately could not choose which pictures to include so I included a lot of them. sorry. I love them all so much. If you’re not following these wonderful artists already you should be!)

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name? “Agent” bc he works for GUN, “VX” bc it’s the name of a nerve agent. It is also a subtle pun. You’re welcome.

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range) Current-day V is 35 years old, but as a riftclaw he’d fall into the 18-21 age group (adult, still kinda dumb and impulsive).

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)? V is poly and is dating several people at once. He’s married to Caprice for legal reasons, but the whole of the polycule encompasses them and Curie, Valke and Luka, w V having a couple casual partners not involved in the main polycule (Atos [for now], Chad, Neura).

🍕 - What is their favorite food? V doesn’t really like to eat and kinda treats it as an unfortunate necessity of continuing to live.

💼 - What do they do for a living? V works for GUN in a weird in-between position; on paper he’s a field agent but he ends up doing multiple different jobs especially if there’s gaps that need filling. At the moment he’s acting medical examiner while they find someone qualified enough to handle the weirder cases that come through GUN’s HQ.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies? He buries himself in work a good 95% of the time but he sure loves to play minecraft. He’s banned himself from videogames bc he knows if he plays more than one he’ll never get anything done again.

🎯 -What do they do best? V’s main strength is that he’s stubborn as hell and willing to smack his head against something repeatedly until he wins. His whole side goal is developing a cure for a genetic illness that’s present in his clan and despite this seeming impossible he has been pushing his way through an insane amount of study while also holding down his GUN job in order to eventually do that.

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do? He loves learning about new horrible poisons and diseases, which is one of his favourite pastimes. He also loves spending time w his datemates/packmates (two different things). He hates being told what to do so anything he’s being commanded to do is something he hates in that moment. Hilarious.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories? The first time he got to hold his son again after giving him up for adoption shortly after he was born. That Muna’s new parents wanted him to still have some kind of relationship with him was an unexpected joy for him.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories? There’s this whole 6-month period of his life where he was “working” for Glory he does not like to remember at all.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one? No but it’s still very close. The main changes were removing the spines on the tail and adding the big triangular eye markings.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC? Thorny devil lizards + horrible poisons I was reading about as a teen. Then I watched Repo! The Genetic Opera and you can probably see where I got his outfit from if you know anything about it.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in? Whatever genre you’d assign an edgier sonic game like SA2 or ShTH.

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality? I call him genderfluid and alloaro (+ bi/pan) although he doesn’t really ID as either in-universe. His perception of his own gender tends to change a lot, and “he” is just the easiest pronoun to use when you work with humans a lot.

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have? He was raised as an only child; he has a half-sister who lives in a different world and has adopted a few of his alternate selves + their siblings.

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like? His relationships w his mum and grandpa (the parents who raised him) are quite positive; he visits them at least once a year during the big gathering the clan holds in June. His relationship with his father is terrible and he’s threatened to kill the guy at least twice.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC? This one is difficult to answer bc I’ve been rotating him constantly in my mind for 10+ years now. I like drawing him and writing about him and also thinking about what’s going on in his mind. Also I project a lot on him. That’s fun.

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC? Extremely but I never finish writing. I draw him more than anyone else atm.

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC? No, bc it’s funny if the guy who doesn’t really wanna survive lives forever.

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias? He has a general fear of losing his control of his self, which is specifically triggered by Glory’s mind control powers but applies more broadly to having his autonomy restricted.

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival? Glory is V’s biggest adversary and basically like, his end boss. He has a couple smaller opponents (couple guys in the UF military structure, Ossein) to go through first though.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?/ 🍥 - What age were you when you created the OC? Since I was 17 or so, so about 16-17 years. We’re old!

[daytrickk]

I've started this new week of with productivity. I spent my sunday afternoon cleaning my entire house so I could start Monday off feeling great and productive.

So far this morning have have had a surge of creativity to finish chapter 13, compiling my notes and original chapters to create this offical draft.

We are definitely on a roll today.

However, I have noticed that when I'm sitting staring at the page I immediately pick up my phone to go on Instagram or Facebook. Even though neither of them ever help me with creativity, I still do it. Out of pure impulse and habit. So... Because of this, I'm figuring out if I should delete them both off my phone..

I don't do anything with them. And if I really want to post anything, I can always do it from my laptop. Which isn't preferable, but works as it makes me stay off my damn phone.

I am addicted, and I keep coming up with excuses to not remove them. But I think today will be the day I do. They are just so unnecessary and toxic. I came across a quote recently that went something along the lines of:

Do you post for attention or intention.

It proceeded to explain it in more detail but you get the picture. So many people post things for attention. And it's such a toxic place to be. To watch other people live their lives while you waste your own. When I do post I want it to be for a reason. I have my car Instagram to inspire people to work on their own rigs. Not matter how much of a sh!tbox they are. I have my puppy Instagram as a little scrapbook as my pup grows up. I have my art Instagram to post art and make a business from it. Then finally I have my writing Instagram to share the novel as I continue to write it.

All of these things have intentions behind their creation. They are not just there to post pictures of me and my life. I couldn't care less about sharing my life. But sharing my intentions, my goals, my dreams, my progress. That's something I'm interested in. I love to help inspire others. For Christ sake, when I was on instagram yesterday, I came across a cleaning reel and it inspired me to clean my own house. One video caused me to close the app and do something.Prepping me for a good week ahead of me. That is the kind of content I want to share. Content that inspires people to go do something. Not just sit there and laugh and scroll onto the next video. Not content that gets people to see where I'm at and stalk me before moving onto the next thing that entertains their minds. I want to inspire people and share my creativity. I can do all of that without having the damn apps on my phone. Distracting me from my main goals.

If I'm bored and want to do nothing I want to spend it listening to music, podcasts or reading books. Not scrolling for hours loosing my life.

Doomscrolling is a real issue and it does affect your brain. As much as we scoff and toss the idea aside. It is damaging our brains and I don't want to be apart of it anymore. I want to be better. The best version of myself. And I want to see how much I want it. To really test myself. To put this social media connection down the drain.

I may be starting a new job soon, and the last thing I will need is to spend what little free time I will have scrolling social media. I want to continue writing this book. To continue to learn and grow as an individual. To grow into a person younger me would be proud of.

That's my update for the time being. Stay tuned for more xo

[anulithots]

Aww thank you so much <3

I don't have any idea how I made faer. I remember crocheting a large ball for faer head (very badly since it was just a base) whilst overheating because... this was not the plan! I was supposed to have a plan before diving into making faer!

(I wanted to make a joint system out of cardboard, but that didn't work, so I used wire instead. For some reason, I made faer arms floppy instead of posable, which works now if I'm going the puppet-like route, but I was so upset about it before, because I needed faer to keep faer arms up sometimes. I tried 'fixing it' by cutting faer back open at 3am and inserting extra wire which... kind of worked? It made some not-noticeable bumps ono faer arms, which I thought were super noticeable and I felt bad every time I looked at faer for a while afterwards because I thought I ruined faer. But alas, it was just me be anxious. And I think it's interesting to see how the creators made something, especially the more 'down portions', hence this anecdote. Thank you for the compliment <3)

And another little story - I used to watch 5-hour long needle felting videos for months on end because I wanted needle felting so bad. I cried on my birthday because I couldn't find it at the craft store, eventually one of my parent's friends got me a kit and I loved it a lot. By then I had already been watching and learning for years, so I made a bunny!

(proceeded to make a bunch of pipe cleaner dinosaurs and birds based off my grandma's old parakeets, they weren't that good tbh ;-;)

And the reason I had started to make Anuli impulsively was because my storytelling started as "making backstory for my crafts". This included a craft vs. toy war, as many yarn dolls I could make (they scared my mom when she would find them in random places) and dragons galore. (My crafting mistakes - like visible glue gun blobs - became their defining characteristics - like scars that they showcase because they are proud of it.) Every single story I ever wrote was about a craft I had made. The Land of the Fallen Fairies started like that, but after a lot of iterations and drawings and sketching, the dolls were very outdated. The previous two iterations didn't have dolls to go with them, and I was being quite perfectionistic about character writing at the time, so I convinced myself that the reason writing was becoming difficult was because I never wrote a story without a doll before. BUT I NEEDED THIS DOLL TO BE PERFECT.

Insert one day where my parents tell us not to use electronics (including my paper tablet that I handwrite everything on) so I needed something fallen fairy related to do otherwise I would explode.

Hence Anuli.

Fae took three months to make! Near the end, when I was coloring faer (I made faer face too light and ran out of that color as I transitioned to a darker shade of brown to better match the color of the tree's bark, so the color on faer palms and scattered around faer limbs is actually a yellow-green color, although it looks similar enough to faer muzzle, thankfully!) my parents were wondering why I was spending so much time on "useless hobbies" and it was a whole day of lecturing. I ended up finishing Anuli in the closet. (Which I think is pretty hilarious, as a lot of the land of the fallen fairies is written after 12pm in the closet.)

y mom was impressed when fae was finished. And to clarify - no one had liked my dolls that much before, said they were too scary. I posted pictures of previous ones on facebook (don't do facebook kids!) before, and all my aunties and grandparents wondered if I was okay. So the fact that you and others like this doll warms my heart. Thank you so much for that!

(Sometimes I like just the photo without any drawing on it the best... I can't take Anuli outside though. What to do.)

But if I change something for Anuli's appearance... faer doll self would have to change toooo....

(The only reason why faer leaves haven't canonically fallen off yet.)

*sigh* but... whump prompts.... alas, they have taken me.

I won't change the doll tho. Just pretend... faer leaves grow back? PRETEND?

[catboyantichrist]

HEY YOU JUST DID A MATCHUP FOR MY BLOG AND I STILL LOVE IT BECAUSE IT WAS MY FIRST REQUEST FROM A NEW PERSON ?? and i see you do om stuff too👁👁

i read through and i LOVE the mc brings their cat to the devildom i might add that to my script

ANYWAYS onto the request (ONLY IF THEYRE OPEN IF NOT YOU CAN IGNORE THIS AND TELL MY OVERENERGETIC SELF TO FRICK OFF)

might i just request some mammon fluff i'm very much in love with him

Oh my god I'd like to apologize for how late this is. There has been so much going on in my personal life, but hopefully I'll have the time and energy to post more in the future? IDK I don't want to make any promises Okok anyways, I wanted to start off with you because I promised you I'd answer your request as soon as I could and now it's 2022- SOOOO--- one, I apologize, and two I hope these make up for it! ^^

☆Just some everyday Mammon fluff☆

(any mentions of MC are GN)

-Although his brothers find Mammon's impulsivity obnoxious, you find it quite charming. Sometimes you even encourage it! As you and Mammon got closer, he frequently included you in his spontaneous plans and it's given both of you tons of happy memories to share! Mammon takes pictures on every adventure you go on and keeps them in a little photo album with the rest of his treasures. He views it as his highest valued item.

-Sometimes when you're both bored you guys make pitches for the weirdest businesses you can think of. You two will go back and forth thinking of the weirdest thing you possibly can. Mammon thinks he's beaten you with his idea of a reusable tissue, when in reality he just described a handkerchief.

-I've mentioned this in a previous post but I just can't get over the idea. Mammon would bring you little shiny objects he finds around his room and on the ground. You keep a little treasure box filled with the shiny objects he gives you. Eventually, you start doing the same thing back, giving Mammon shiny rocks, jewels, and pop tabs you find around. It's gotten so extreme that sometimes Mammon's crows will come up to you to give you shiny objects that they've found.

-Speaking of Mammon's crows, they've grown a real soft spot for you. If you're ever spending time with Mammon in his room (whether you'd be watching a movie, talking, or just scrolling on your phones) there's a good chance that his crows are going to want to join in. Mammon's crows have reached a level of trust with you that you'll often be found cuddling with both Mammon and some of his crows. Mammon frequently gets jealous over this, but the crows always win, as they just repeat what Mammon is saying until he shuts up. Oh well... group cuddles!

-Remember when I mentioned you give Mammon pop tabs? He absolutely adores it. One day Mammon found out that pop tabs can have different meanings depending on the way they break off. (just search up pop tab meanings on google) and he asked you if you knew what they meant. You nodded and handed Mammon a pop tab that symbolized kiss, and he immediately became flustered. You did end up getting that kiss in the end, so it was worth it.

I hope this was alright, I haven't played obey me in awhile and I should really get back into it :) I hope you have a good day!

[hyunjilicious]

a helping hand [henry cavill] - part 3

A/n: I know it took me ages, and I'm sorry, but it's finally here!! I don't know when part 4 will be up, but I know the plot, and by the time you finish reading this, you'll know it too!! Filth is coming. Also, since I posted the first 2 parts weeks ago, under the cut you'll find a small summary of what happened so far! Ofc, I'm linking the previous parts as well! Have fun reading, sorry for taking me so long, and please, don't hesitate to tell me what you thought! (I’ll reblog it with the taglist, otherwise it doesn’t show up in the tags!)

Summary: after Henry lost it during a fit of jealousy, he sneaked into your apartment, his actions having some very different repercussions from what he initially intended. SMUT 3.9k

Warnings: please be over 18!!! mentions of smut, masturbation (male receiving), sightly/some somnophilia, stalker-ish/obsessed Henry, cum play if you squint and ofc, mentions of filming and sharing pornographic material. 18+ please!!!!

You can find part 1 here and part 2 here!

Quick recap: Henry's crush on his very sweet and younger neighbour (you lol) grew into something else when you asked him for help with taking some pictures for your onlyfans account. Following this, your relationship reached a very teasing level, which prompted Henry to take matters into his own hands, even if that meant crossing some lines. So when he found out that you and a specific man from your past were on a voice call, he just had to know what exactly was being discussed. This jealousy fit had him using his spare key to enter your apartment and eavesdrop, and this is where chapter 2 ends. Have fun reading the next part!!!

“No” you sighed, waving your arms around, desperate to get your point across. But it was mostly useless, nothing even remotely decent would ever manage to penetrate Steve’s thick skull. He was a dumbass with a heart of gold, so you couldn’t even blame him for messing things up on purpose, you just learned the hard way not to take his advice under any circumstance. “No, Steve. I won’t do that. Not a chance!”

“Hun-” he scoffed, rolling his eyes as a smirk showed up on his lips, “When have I ever been wrong?”

“Really!?” you giggled and then sighed, “Listen, I gotta go to the bathroom and you’d better forget about this topic by the time I come back”

“Wait, wait. Ok, fine. Scratch that” Steve laughed, stopping you from getting up, “When have I ever been wrong on purpose?”

“Listen, I know you’re just trying to help” you smiled, “But I don’t think your experience in seducing girls with daddy issues benefits my situation in any kind of way”

“‘Course it does! I can give you some perspective!”

“Perspective on what?” you mocked, playfully frowning at him through the screen on your laptop, “You and Henry have nothing in common”

“The dick for one” Steve joked but when he saw you roll your eyes, he became serious, “I’m just tryin to help you hook up with the guy! That’s all”

“See!?” you laughed, already exasperated by the conversation, “I’m not trying to hook up with him, I want something more…”

Your sentence was cut short by the sound of a door closing. Your blood ran cold and your hands froze, eyes staring blankly into the camera.

“Y/n?” Steve asked with worry, “What’s wrong?”

“Wait here” you mumbled, pushing the laptop off of you and rushing to the door of your bedroom. You pressed your ear against it, and listened closely, the sound of a lock being turned chilling you to your bones. With shaky hands, you stumbled your way back to your bed, and looked into the camera, directly at a somewhat already worried Steve. “I gotta go-”

“Wait-” Steve tried to ask, “Are you-”

“Yeah, I’m fine, talk to you later” you hurriedly mumbled before ending the call. Your fingers flew across the screen of your phone, finding Henry’s name and pressing the green button in the blink of an eye.

And had he not been this utterly stupid and reckless, none of this would have happened. His impulsivity got the best of him, and panic rushed through his veins when he heard you were about to head to the bathroom. Pressure did him no good, and the first thing that came to mind at that point was to bolt out of there, knowing there was absolutely no way to explain what he was doing in your apartment. But his shaky hands were of no help, and the dexterity he earlier proved himself capable of was nowhere to be found. However, he didn’t care. He just stormed out, happy to finally breathe again as soon as he was out of your apartment - but when his phone vibrated in his pocket, he felt like dying all over again.

With your heart beating inside your throat, you grabbed your bedside lamp into your free hand, and curled yourself into a ball in the corner of your room, opposite to the door, the sound of the ongoing call being the only thing you heard over the loud buzz in your ears.

“Yeah?” Henry’s voice rang loudly when he finally answered, making you all but jump with fright.

Had you paid more attention, you’d have noticed he too sounded out of breath, but you were too out of it to tell. All you could think about was the psycho what was at your door.

“Henry-” you cried, voice shaky as the intake of air was no longer satisfying. You were hyperventilating, sweating from every pore, scared out of your mind.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice more stern now. “Y/n? Are you ok?”

“Yeah- yeah…” you said on autopilot, mind on standby. “No…” You whimpered, “Henry, can you- I think someone is trying to break into my house, I-”

“What!?” he gasped, “I’m sure no one-”

“Henry!” you cried into the phone, “Can you please look through your peephole? Please?”

He sounded confused, but you didn’t have to ask him twice. You heard a bit of shuffling before his voice reached your ears again, “There’s no one there, there’s no one at your door, you can relax”

“No-” you whimpered, unable to calm down, “Henry, please-!”

“I’m coming over right now,” he said.

“No! No, what if they’re still in the hallway?”

“There’s no one there, love” Henry tried to reassure you. When you heard him unlock the door of his apartment your heart stopped, but after that, everything was quiet. 

“Are you ok?” you muttered, wiping your nose with your sleeve.

“Yes, love. I’m fine” Henry lightly chuckled, “I’m at your door, can you open up?”

“No” you scoffed, “What if someone got in?”

“No one got in” he tried to explain, but your adrenaline soaked brain refused to comply.

“Henry, take the spare key I gave you” you suggested, “And grab a knife”

Seeing how affected and terrified you were, Henry didn’t argue with you anymore. In a matter of seconds, you heard the door of your apartment being unlocked, Henry assuring you through the phone that it was him. When he walked inside, you remained hidden in your spot. He checked the kitchen and the living room, coming up to finally enter the bedroom. When your eyes landed on his massive frame, you breathed out relieved and rushed to him, throwing yourself into his arms. There was no other place on Earth you felt as safe as you did when he was holding you.

“Shh, you’re ok, you’re good” Henry cooed, cradling you to his chest, “I got you, baby, ok? I’m here”

But there was no stopping you. You broke down entirely, holding onto him as your legs gave in, turning into a mess. Henry carried you to the bed, sitting you down and allowing you to calm down at your own pace.

“I’m here, ok?” he asked again, rubbing your back, “I won’t let anything happen to you, Y/n, you know that. You’re safe, I got you”

It was impossible to tell just how long it took you to fully calm down, but it was safe to say that it would have taken hours longer had Henry not been there with you. When you were finally able to properly breathe again and hold a conversation, you looked up at him, big doe eyes hoping to convince him without too much of a fuss. “Can you stay here with me, please? I can’t be alone right now”

With nothing but sympathy in his eyes, Henry leaned down and kissed your forehead, “Don’t you think it would be better if we went over to my place instead?”

“No” you shook your head, “And leave the apartment unattended? I don’t think that’s a good idea”

His heart broke. Being his usual, impulsive self, Henry managed to break you down and terrify you to your core. As much as he wanted to reassure you everything would be fine, he couldn’t. He couldn’t just tell you it was him who broke into your apartment in the middle of a jealousy breakdown. So, he settled for the second best option, and really, he couldn’t complain.

It was late in the afternoon on a Sunday, no locksmith on the clock. Seeing how you’d have to wait until the next morning, he was more than happy to spend that time with you.

As time started to pass, you also started to relax. 

The day slowly wilted a way, as both you and Henry made yourselves busy around your apartment. He wasted a couple of hours installing games on your school laptop as you took a bath, he then cooked you dinner, and by the time the night rolled around, you were your usual bubbly self again. And after watching and laughing your hearts out at Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets, sleep started to creep up on you.

Henry placed one of your kitchen chairs under the doorknob before turning to give you a massive hug, “No one can get in, darling. I promise”

“Thank god you live across the hall” you confessed, snaking your arms under his hoodie as you gathered yourself as close to him as possible. “What would I have done otherwise?”

“You don’t have to worry about that” Henry kissed your forehead, “I’ll always be here when you need me”

And in that moment, right there, stopping yourself from kissing him turned out to be the most difficult thing you ever had to do. Instead, you settled for his cheek, before hiding your face against his shoulder. “I’ll always be here for you too”

“Thank you, angel” Henry breathed out.

There really was nothing on this earth you loved more than this man. 

Getting ready to go to sleep, you changed in your pajamas, while all Henry did was take off his hoodie. With your toothbrush lodged between your teeth, you lingered in the door frame, watching the muscles of his back flex as he bent down and put his phone down to charge.

Toothpaste and drool could very well have dribbled down your chin as you stood and gawked, only releasing you were staring when Henry turned around and a smile made its way up his lips. “Yes?” he laughed, but all you did was look him up and down, before returning to the bathroom with a shake of your head.

“Oh, Y/n?” Henry called again, following you, “Where can I find a blanket or some sheets?”

First you squinted, but then you decided it would be best if you just finished brushing your teeth before anything else. After rinsing your mouth, you turned to look at him, utterly unamused. “What for?”

“So I don’t have to sleep on leather?”

“You’re sleeping with me” you rolled your eyes, grabbing his elbow and dragging him into the bathroom so he could get ready for bed too. “Not up for discussion”

“Ok” Henry chuckled, looking at you in the mirror. “But I snore”

As if that would make you reconsider. You walked away and into your room, settling under the covers, without another word. About 10 minutes later, Henry joined you.

He fit in like a piece of puzzle and you didn’t even try to keep yourself from cuddling into his side. Sinking his head down between the multitude of pillows on your bed, you giggled, crawling on top of him. Without thinking too much about it, you kissed your way down his neck, peppering tens of kisses against his naked chest. You felt his heartbeat under your palm as he breathed in and out slowly, smiling down at you as he enjoyed the view.

“Thanks for doing this for me” you mumbled, rubbing your hand up and down his chiseled abdomen.

“Really, Y/n” Henry said, wrapping his arms around you, “There’s no need to thank me. Plus, you think I’m not enjoying this?”

“Oh shut up” you giggled. The amount of small talk that followed turned out to be exactly what you needed in order to allow your eyes to peacefully close. Despite the events of earlier in the evening, you now felt safer than ever before.

It was just a matter of time until soft snores started escaping past your lips, your chest rising and falling every so softly as you drifted out of consciousness.

But Henry’s mind was nowhere near relaxed enough to drift off. No. You were too close to him, too innocent and vulnerable for him to just let this moment pass. The way you had just thrown one of your legs over his lap drove him insane - your bare thigh too accessible to him.

At first, he just tested the waters. A peck to the top of your head, and a small caress against the back of your hand. You were completely out, and that accentuated his need further.

Slowly moving his free arm down his body, Henry brushed his fingers over his clothed member, grunting out loud when he felt the sensibility in his tip. He bit into his bottom lip out of need to keep quiet, teasing himself just a little as he struggled to decide how to go about things. With the way you were laying right now, it was next to impossible for him to free himself without moving you. And even though at the beginning he tried to avoid that, when you stirred in your sleep, your body rubbing up against his, he lost all kinds of patience.

As softly as he could, Henry pushed your leg back, just a little. Even in your sleep, you craved his touch, as when you felt movement, you involuntarily shuffled closer, but much to his relief, your legs remained on the mattress.

Eagerness controlled his actions as he pushed his pants down his thighs, propping his hips up with difficulty. When his underwear was pulled down and his cock sprung free, Henry hissed with unmatched satisfaction. With his hand wrapped around his base and his eyes on you, he swallowed thickly, his heart beating out of his chest with a demented sense of bliss.

"My baby-" Henry cooed, rubbing his lips across your hairline as he started stroking his cock.

His movements were slow but not calculated in any way. His brain was occupied, forcing his hand to work on muscle memory. But still, he teased himself, rubbing his thumb across his slit just like he liked to think you would. 

The fear of getting caught was at an all time high as you stirred again. He froze for a second, "That's my good girl-" Henry whispered, looking down at your sleeping frame. As much as he wanted you to take an active part in this, he knew better than to risk it. 

It was getting more and more difficult to breathe, his back sweating profusely as he pumped himself closer to the edge. His hips bucked, causing the bed frame to creak. Instantly, he stilled, eyes on you, but all you did was rub your cheek against his chest, completely unaware of your surroundings.

"I'm so close for you, my darling" Henry groaned, his throat paper dry as the words left his lips. All he could hear was his own breathing and the unmistakable perverse sound of slapping skin, but still, even above all of that, you kept on peacefully snoring. 

The arm Henry looped around your frame was now traveling lower, his palm exploring your side until he reached your ass. He softly gripped a handful of your bum, squeezing hard enough to make up for the struggle of not allowing himself to finish too early. But it was reckless and maybe he shouldn't have done so, as his touch all but woke you up. 

Still overwhelmed with sleep, you barely pushed yourself up, eyes closed as you slightly changed your position. You were now laying higher up his body, your head almost falling off his shoulder. Your breathing tickled the side of his neck as you snaked your arm up and looped it around his frame. Biting down hard on his bottom hip, Henry felt ridiculous amounts of blood rush to the tip of his cock as you refused to settle already.

Rubbing the tip of your nose across his jugular, still mostly out but not fully, you peaked your eyes open, “Henry-?”

“Y- yeah?” he swallowed thickly, freezing in his spot.

“Why’re you awake?” you mumbled.

“Just woke up- had a weird dream, that’s all”

You believed the lie without an ounce of doubt, “Wanna talk about it?”

“Yes” he whispered, “But in the morning. Sorry I woke you up, go back to sleep, darling”

“Ok” you sighed, kissed his bare shoulder and allowed yourself to drift off again.

Henry licked his lips in a haze, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as sweat worked his entire body. God, how he regretted getting himself in his position, but his cock was full on hard, all but leaking at the tip, not so patiently waiting to receive any kind of attention again. He sucked in a deep breath, eyes on you to make sure you were asleep. 

His heart skipped a beat as your mouth popped open, but your light snores came as the strongest form of reassurance, and he resumed his work. The anxiety of getting caught fueled him, and the heels of his feet dug into the mattress, his hips bucking upwards as he furiously pumped his cock.

It was all getting too much. He was close. Henry threw his head back trying to suppress a moan, but he miserably failed. A choked back wail escaped his now dry lips as his whole body tensed. He squeezed you closer, his fingers lewdly digging into the sweet flesh of your ass. He was crossing many lines but that didn't stop him. He didn't see things clear anymore. His chest heaved, rushing up and down as he fisted his cock, biting into his lower lip as he watched your peaceful expression. 

It was pure, dumb luck that he managed to spot a pack of napkins laying on the night stand mere seconds before he came. His juices eagerly ran down his shaft as he flew through his orgasm, his saviour napkin proving almost useless. 

Coming down from his high, he all but managed to calm down, but his mind was still set. He would never get enough of you. And no matter how many times he'd cum, he'd still be down to go again. You had that power over him.

"Fuck…" Henry panted. And in the blur of the moment he created, he didn't even stop to process his thoughts. Gathering the few droplets of cum that landed on his stomach, he brought his hand up to your face, his thumb rubbing across your lips. 

In that moment, then and there, when you unconsciously wrapped your lips around his finger, he almost lost it all over again. 

"Holy-" he cried again, kissing your forehead. As eager and willing as he was to keep going, Henry stopped himself. He tucked the napkins next to the foot of the bed, pulled his pants back up his hips and settled under the covers. 

Sleep didn't come easy, but he eventually drifted off. Unfortunately, the clock had almost struck 3am by the time he closed his eyes, and no later than 6:15, your alarm went off.

"No" you protested, wiggling around in search of your phone. "No school- no, thank you"

Eyes closed and cheek squished into the pillow, Henry raised his arm and found the phone with ease, handing it to you without a word.

Squinting under the bright light of the screen, you dismissed the alarm and snuggled back into Henry's chest, his arms wrapping around your body in an instant.

And as heavenly as this felt, it only lasted for about 5 minutes, until your alarm went off again. 

"Just turn it off" Henry laughed, kissing your forehead, "I'll wake you up after I make breakfast"

"You don't have to" you protested, throwing in a whine or two as you curled yourself around him.

"I want to"

"No"

"Y/n…"

"Ok fine" you sighed, "Thank you"

"No need darling" Henry chuckled and stood up. He once again pecked the top of your head and then he was gone. About one second and a half later, you were asleep again, only to complain when Henry woke you up.

"It's 7" he stated, gathering the blanket in his arms and allowing the cold air to reach your body.

"Give it back" you cried.

"Is that how it's gonna be?" Henry threatened, and despite his dominating tone, you still refused to take him seriously. When you hid your face between the pillows, he deeply sighed, but satisfaction was still audible in his tone. "Fine then"

Taking you completely by surprise, Henry bent down and gathered you in his arms, throwing you over his shoulder with absolute ease.

"Henry-" you yelled, "The fuck-"

"Not gonna be late, Y/n" Henry laughed, "Not on my watch"

"God" you giggled along and allowed yourself to be carried to the kitchen. 

As soon as he walked out of the bedroom, a delicious smell reached your nose. It was probably the first real breakfast you'd had in weeks, so you weren't going to complain anymore. Fresh coffee, toast, avocado, pancakes, hard boiled eggs and a multitude of veggies and fruit awaited on the table.

"I didn't even know I had all this food in my house"

"You didn't-" Henry shook his head, sitting down beside you, "Grabbed them from my place"

"You shouldn't have, but thank you"

"No need" he assured you, "Dig in"

When you were done, and right before you headed to the bathroom to get ready, you turned to him again. "Do you know the number of any locksmiths? I really wanna change the locks"

Following a quick Google search, Henry found a multitude of ads, and after choosing the most trustworthy looking one, he dialed the number as you patiently waited beside him.

Everything seemed to go perfectly well, until he frowned, "No, today pl- [...] No, I'm not locked out of my- [...] You sure-? Ok, ok fine. Ok, tomorrow, first thing, ok, thanks"

"They can't come today?" you pouted as soon as he hung up.

"No, I'm sorry" Henry shook his head, and seeing the disappointment plastered on your face, he spoke up again. "I can stay one more night, if you want to. I'll sleep in the living room-"

"What? No" you scoffed, "It's not that…"

"What is it then?" he questioned, starting to get worried.

You hesitated. "Its no-"

"Don't tell me it's nothing" Henry commanded, pointing a finger at you. A smile appeared at the corner of your lips as you rolled your eyes.

"Ok, fine. I just- I just had to film today for the- you know… That's all, but I can do it some other day"

Henry didn't answer until a smirk tilted the corner of his lips upwards. "Or I could help you?"

"Help me?" you gawked.

"Yeah" he nonchalantly shrugged, "Helped you once before, didn't I?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah" he smiled, "Only if you me want to, of course"

Your knees weakened and your heart was beating in all the wrong ways, so all you managed to do was giggle and shake your head in disbelief. "Well, yeah... I want to"

How were you going to tell him that the video was supposed to be of you fucking yourself with a baby pink dildo? And how exactly was he going to help? You had a long day ahead of you and the ridiculous amounts of school work you had to get done in the meantime didn't allow you to give these questions any kind of priority. All you wanted was for the evening to come around already even if you sweated profusely just at the thought of what was to come.

[kanika-vargrhugr]

Content warning: some discussion of gore and violent urges.

One thing that I wish was more talked about in the community is the "dark side" of alterhumanity. There seems to be this focus on being very palatable, aesthetically pleasing, or otherwise "normal", but for myself and many other alterhumans I have spoken with, this denies the freedom to talk about a whole lot of our experiences.

Animals aren't all about pretty forest pictures and fluffy ears and tails, they are also wild, instinctual, and don't care about human ideas of socially acceptable behavior.

An example from my own experiences came from a night a few months back where I just could not sleep due to my prey drive. I watched a video which included a wolf eating a lamb for one of my classes, and I just went wild. I became food aggressive towards that wolf for having the lamb instead of me. I had full jaw phantom shifts that were just itching to crunch down on bone and tendon, and lick up soupy entrails. I really did honestly whip myself into a snarling, drooling, animal feeding frenzy. I even started gnawing on my own hands during it, just to get the feeling of some flesh and bones on my teeth.

Now, obviously, thats kind of embarrassing. I felt stupid and dirty afterwards for doing something so un-human and unacceptable, but that got me thinking, am I really living my animality if I'm concerned with what is "allowed" even in my most animal moments?

I think the answer is no.

If I am spending half my time denying my "lower", for lack of a better word, animal impulses, in favor of only indulging and showing the "cool" ones, then I am denying half of what it means to be animal.

I already know I have these urges, I see them in every time I start at something small running past me, and every time I hear another animal come into my "territory", so why not discuss them?

These unflattering animal urges are a normal part of my day-to-day life. Obviously I have them under control, but letting them out or at least acknowledging them in small, productive ways, leaves me feeling more in-tune with my animality than ever. In fact, I find that pushing down the unfavorable urges may make them less frequent, but for me it means when I do get them, they are far stronger. Because of this, I like to accept and acknowledge these feelings, and indulge them in small, constructive, nonharmful ways.

To discuss this further, let's take a look at some of the more unflattering and darker traits and urges that come with me being a wolf:

- Strong predatory feelings towards things smaller than me (deer, rabbits, even small to medium dogs, etc.), especially if they are moving quickly

- A tendency to seek out and poke and prod for weaknesses in animals and people alike, stemming from wolves hunting methods

- Fear of the new and unknown to a disruptive level. Wild wolves are very cautious, and anything or anyone new or strange will be a point of both fear and curiosity. The same goes for myself.

- Destructive chewing urges, constantly, to the point I will chew and bite at my own fingers and arms when they are at their worst

- Attraction to meat, any meat. Roadkill, the raw meat in the butcher shop, the random animal carcass in the forest, it all looks like fair game to my instincts

- As an extension to the previous point, odd meat preferences/things that look appetizing to me. Raw flesh, blood, guts, cracked bones, skin and tendons, it all looks like good eating

- Food aggression and hoarding behaviors. I have the feeling whenever I get my hands on a meal, that I need to run off with as much of it as I can, and wolf(haha) it down before anyone can take it from me

- The urge to mark and defend territory. This can include howling and patrolling and other such fun things, but it also can mean making a fool of myself when others are in my home or room, subconsciously blocking them from going places with my body, grumbling and pacing to comfort myself, etc.

- Very heirachal thinking. Wolves squabble often to reaffirm who is dominant or submissive in interactions between the pack. This leaves me constantly gauging myself against others, subconsciously using physically intimidating body language, or, in cases where I deem myself the submissive one, engaging in wolflike submissive body language, which is often socially odd (lowered head, not making eye contact, etc.) since some people misunderstood when I previously posted this, I am not referring to alpha theory here, as it has been continuously disproven and I know this. I am just referring to general social dominance dynamics.

Thats all that comes to me off the top of my head, though I'm sure there are a few more. I would once again like to reiterate, that while I have urges and tendencies towards all of these behaviors, I don't act on them in any harmful way. Some have easy outlets, like participating in wrestling, buying things to chew on, or chasing things and/or people that are ok with me chasing them, and so on. Others are more difficult, but talking about them to others with similar feelings, or utilizing them in more acceptable ways always seems to help.

Well, there are my experiences, now I would like to hear yours! Feel free to talk about any odd or grotesque urges you may find your animality brings you - I would love to read about them.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Baby, It’s Cold...

Warnings: this fic includes dubious/nonconsent, fingering, lying, manipulation, and general Ransom naughtiness

This is explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: You go to meet your online admirer but not all is as it seems.

Note: Our Chris-mas fic is here! I tried to keep the holiday details as vague as possible and hope you all enjoy what I came up with. As a reminder, y’all chose Ransom Drysdale + Sugar Daddy + Silverfox (= yes please)

I hope y’all enjoy!

Let me know what you think! (Like, reblog, reply, leave some words, a gif, nonsensical emojis)

Your nerves wouldn't stop. It was the tap of your fingers, the urge to chew your thumb, and the way you shifted in your seat just when you got settled. The flight was long enough to calm down and definitely not long enough to prepare yourself. 

You scrolled through your phone, offline for the journey. You swiped through the photos saved in your gallery. Hugh had paid for the ticket. A gift for the holidays he said; his gift, he added, was you. It was cheesy but it made you smile. He always had a way of surprising you. One moment, he was stern and demanding, the next he was flirty and fun, and sometimes, he could be sappy. He was different than any man you’d met; well you hadn’t exactly met yet.

It had started on your Insta. You liked to post pictures of pretty things; flowers, birds, critters, and the odd monument. Sometimes, even, yourself. He messaged you about some photo of a vintage book. It was random and awkward. You weren’t quite sure how you managed to bring the quality to text but you did always find a way.

But it continued and you got to know him. He knew a lot about books; he said he worked in publishing. As a photography student, you weren’t as impressive. You assumed he was older; a few years, he said. Well, that wasn’t so bad. He also suggested you keep some prints; it could make for a good coffee table book. You liked hat he humoured you but you were like any other arts major; you were waiting for your green apron.

As they announced the landing over the speaker, you buckled in. You played with the locked buckle. You had lied to your mother. You told her you were staying on campus for the winter break. What would do if she knew if you were meeting a stranger? Huh, you were meeting a stranger and you had kept it all a secret. Your romcom had just become a horror in your mind.

Well, you had the app on the phone. The one that would send your location if you didn’t log in within the next eight hours. But it could be too late by then. Shit, this was stupid. So stupid. You could hide and tell him you missed your flight. Well, fuck, you’d texted him just before boarding.

As the plane descended you went through every worst case scenario; catfish, liar, murderer… Hugh was hot as fuck and you had to admit, a rich guy with eyes like his, was way out of your league. You bit your lip as you looked at the pic of him at the beach; was it the abs that made you so dumb or the smirk?

The large wheels rolled over the tarmac as the pilot steered past the other planes and into position. You waited as disembarkment began and the attendants reminded passengers to remain seated until told otherwise. You felt the wine in your stomach swish. Hugh had paid for first class; you had enjoyed the complimentary drinks a little too much. The first had been for courage, the second for foolishness.

Finally, it was time to get up. Time to face your naivety. Why did these things seem like a good idea until the last minute? Rather, why did you think they were? This was like that blind date in your freshman year that turned out to be a prank by your roommates. Sophomore year saw you relocated.

What if the same was going through Hugh’s head? What if he was disappointed? It was easy to seem cooler than you were behind a screen. It wasn’t exactly like you broadcasted the fact that you spent all your time in the library or the fact that your study group was the majority of your socialization. Well, maybe you’d both be let down and you could laugh about it together.

You grabbed your carry-on and followed the rest of the passengers down the ramp and into the tunnel. You felt like you were in a movie or a dream. It was surreal. Had you really flown all this way to meet this online pal? 

As you reached the escalators, you turned your phone off of airplane mode. There was a message waiting for you. ‘At the gate.’ It was all too real as you sent back an emoji and neared the belt to grab your bag. You extended the arm and rolled it behind you as you headed for the last barrier. You were waved through customs and met another set of escalators. You bounced your leg as you descended.

You got to the bottom and walked around as you searched those waiting around the gate. Blonde hair, you couldn’t miss it. Blue eyes, tall, broad shoulders… he was the type to stand out in the crowd. 

“Hey,” you felt a large hand on your back and another on the handle of your bag. “Right here.”

The deep voice was the same from your phone calls. You smiled and looked over as he took your bag entirely and wrapped his arm around you.

“I can’t believe you’re finally here.” You turned to him and his hand rested on your hip as he faced you.

The air went out of you and your lips parted. You blinked and sputtered. “H- Hi.” 

“You okay? How was the flight?” He asked.

You were in shock. Your entire body jittered and your breath was trapped in your chest. It was Hugh but he was about twenty years older than his photos. Most of his hair was silver, with only a few strands of blonde, and though he hadn’t aged poorly, the difference was stark. Handsome as he still was, he had lied.

“It was… fine.” You forced out. “I…” You shook your head and pouted as your thoughts raced, “Hugh, you’re… older than I expected.”

“Call me Ransom. Everybody does.” He leaned it, “Why don’t we talk about this in the car?”

You looked around. You couldn’t really just turn around and go home, could you? You lowered your chin and sucked in your lip as you thought. What else had he lied about?

“Sure,” you said thinly. “I…”

“Babe, it’s me,” he coaxed, “I’m exactly who I said I was. And you, you’re even more gorgeous in person.”

You glanced at him and nodded. You hooked your shoulder bag over your arm and he grabbed your hand as he pulled you with him. The wheels of your suitcase rolled loudly behind him as the buzz of the crowd drowned out your panicked mind. You let him guide you, in disbelief. You didn’t know what else to do.

You were outside as the haze cleared. You approached a car, sleek and sporty, though you were never good with types. Hugh, or Ransom, opened the trunk and dropped your bag inside. He went to the driver’s side and opened the door as you stared across at him. You mirrored him and lowered yourself into the passenger’s seat. The doors closed almost in unison and you stared through the windshield at the unfamiliar parking lot.

He cleared his throat and turned the engine. You snapped your belt into place as he shifted into gear. You flinched and crossed your arms. You peeked at him in the rearview and his hand crawled onto your thigh. His eyes met yours in the mirror and he smirked. You were paralysed as he steered with one hand and his fingers tapped against your jeans.

“Merry Christmas, babe,” he said, “Or… happy holidays. Whatever’s politically correct.”

He laughed and you only managed to choke on your spit. You felt like you should be mad but did you have any right to be? He hadn’t exactly catfished you. Not completely. And he had paid for your ticket and from what you could tell, he was just as rich as he claimed. Yet, that wasn’t exactly why you’d come. Sure, it was all just in good fun, you didn’t expect a whirlwind romance, but it was still jarring.

“Why don’t you just relax?” he purred, “I know it wasn’t too long a flight but flying always takes it outta me. And you’ll need your energy. I have lots of surprises in store for you.”

You nodded and leaned against the door. You hugged yourself and lifted your leg over the other and Ransom’s hand slipped away. He seemed unbothered as he sat back in his seat and turned his attention to the road.

The radio flicked on and filled the tense silence. You clung to the unknown lyrics to keep from drowning in fear.

🎁

Despite your doubts, you couldn’t help but be astounded by Ransom’s house. Almost four years in a dormitory and the Holiday Inn was like a palace to you, but his place was even more than that. A modern façade with a blanket of store across the sprawling yards which seemed to have been perfectly laid to match the straight lines of the structure. 

You stayed in the car as Ransom climbed out and took your bag from the trunk. You jumped in your seat as he tapped on the window with his knuckle. You looked over at him and undid your belt. You got out, your bag dangling from your wrist, and he touched the small of your back again as he led you forward.

“We’ll have dinner and then you can open your gifts,” he said, “That’s when the fun will start.”

“Mmhmm,” you hummed as he unlocked the door with a code and ushered you in.

You watched him hang his jacket and reluctantly unzipped your own. You put your bag down but kept a hold of your phone.

“You’re nervous,” he intoned.

“Why did you send me those pics and not something more recent? You lied.” You said.

His mouth slanted and he raised his brows. “They were me. Not much of a lie.”

“Enough of one, don’t you think?”

He chuckled. “I think you at least owe me a little leeway. Considering.”

“Considering what? You offered to pay. Don’t hold that over me.”

“I’m not but… you’re young, you’re impulsive. I mean, you came all the way here and now what? You’re going to tuck tail and run home? Spend the last of that bursary money so you can hide?”

“Don’t patronize me,” you huffed as you stepped out of your boots.

“I’m not.” He said firmly. “I’m giving you advice and it’s hard to see when you’re young but we both know you’re smarter than your age. We both know what this is and me being older isn’t going to affect that.” His eyes roved over you, “Is it?”

You lowered your lashes and thought. You wetted your lips and looked down at your phone. You unlocked it and opened the app. You keyed in your password and turned off the alert. You’d come this far and you were fairly certain he wouldn’t murder you. Besides, your mother would kill you once she found out you’d come all this way.

“It’s just gonna take me a bit to get used to it,” you tucked your phone away, “But promise me, that’s it. The only lie.”

“Promise,” he said gently, “Now, dinner should be here soon so why don’t you get changed.”

“Changed?” You snorted, “What--”

“Up the stairs, the room at the end of the hall, there’s a red box on the bed. It should fit. If it doesn’t, I’m sure it’ll still look great on you.”

You smiled as your cheeks burned. He was older but he still had charm and had aged into his looks and not out of them. 

“Alright,” you said, “I… what’s for dinner?”

“Another surprise,” he replied as he neared and leaned in, “I’m more excited about dessert.” His breath tickled your cheek, his lips too, and you shivered. “Now go, we’ve both waited long enough for this.”

You drew away and turned to head up the stairs. He tapped your ass and you squeaked. You looked back over his shoulder and he winked. “Can’t help myself,” he raised his hands, “But I’ll try.”

You continued up the stairs and tried not to gape at what had to be expensive art. The furniture was no less extravagant and as you entered the room at the end of the hall, you closed the door and pulled out your phone. You typed in Ransom instead of Hugh Drysdale and pages of results popped up. Editor, Publisher, and Owner of Blood Like Wine Publishing. Jesus Christ, were you really that daft?

Well, he was famous enough to reassure you he wasn’t going to kill you. You tossed your phone on the bed beside the box and carefully untied the black ribbon around it. You shimmied the lid off and revealed the red velvet. You lifted it up, a short little piece trimmed with white fur. It was the most ridiculous thing you’d ever seen but scandalous nevertheless.

You stripped as your nerves only got worse. You slipped into the dress, it was tight around your chest and the short skirt had a slit along the thigh. You wanted to laugh at yourself. There was a pair of heels at the foot of the bed and you sat to slip on the stilettos. You stood and wobbled. You felt so dumb but a glance in the mirrored door of the closet gave you pause. Not bad.

You slowly made your way down the stairs. You held tight to the railing and as you came to the bottom, you looked around at the airy halls. You wandered into the next room and back to the kitchen. You stopped in the doorway as Ransom looked up from the counter. He carefully plated the food from the containers surrounded by paper bags. Expensive, boujie take out.

“The other way,” he smiled, “Past the stairs. I’ll be in shortly.”

“Oh, okay,” you spun and caught yourself on the wall. 

You found your way to the room across the hall. There was an artificial fireplace in the wall burning and a low table with two cushions planted deliberately on the floor. There was a bucket with ice and champagne in it and two glasses waiting. You crossed to it and touched the petals of the stemmed roses in the tall crystal vase.

You turned as you heard footsteps. Ransom entered with two plates. He passed you and set them down on the low table. He spun back to you and took in every inch of you. “Wow, you look… great.”

“Thank you,” you shied away and he caught your hands. He pulled you close as the candlelight gleamed along his silver hair.

“Come here,” his hand grazed your arm and he caught your chin, “Amazing.”

He brushed his lips against yours and pressed them more firmly. You let him as you heart hammered and he pulled away as he nibbled your bottom lip.

“Let’s eat,” he breathed. “Before it gets cold.”

You followed him to the table and sat on the cushion. It was difficult as your skirt rode up and you bent your legs beside you awkwardly as Ransom popped the cork. He poured the wine and you sipped at the foam. You could still feel the glow of the grigio you’d downed on the plane.

“So, did you bring your camera? Tomorrow we might go out and you can get some photos. It’s beautiful in the winter. Cold but makes warming up all the better.”

“Yeah…” You took a bite of the salad. “So, why didn’t you tell me who you were? If your age doesn’t matter, then--”

“You didn’t ask me for money. Not even when I mentioned it. Most women, I tell them who I am, they google me, and they do a poor job of tiptoeing around my checkbook.” He shrugged. “And I like you. I wanted to get to know you without everything else.”

“Get to know me?” You scoffed. “That’s what you call it?”

“My intentions were innocent. At first. I thought your pictures might make a good book and then I found one of you. Business isn’t everything.”

“Oh,” you fluttered your lashes, “It’s not?”

His hand snaked over to your thigh and he squeezed. He played with the fur along your skirt.

“I have enough money.” He said, “What I want isn’t so simple.”

🎁

You finished dinner and washed it down with the champagne as Ransom cleared the plates. As came back, you sat on your knees and watched him cross the room. There was a table stacked with presents in the corner. You only just noticed it as he looked it over and picked out one wrapped in gold paper.

He neared and held it out to you. You took it and ran your finger over the edge. “Your gift is in my bag,” you tried to stand and he waved you off.

“Later,” he said, “Open it.”

You slid your finger under a fold and tore. You slowly unwrapped the box; black and shiny. You crumpled the paper and dropped it on the table. You wiggled the lid off a revealed a pair of black furry cuffs. You giggled.

“Thanks,” you looked up at him.

“Stand up,” he said.

“W-Why?” You tilted your head.

“You gotta try them on,” he grinned, “Come on. Just a little bit of fun.”

“I don’t know, I never--”

“I know you didn’t come here just for steak so come on, get up.” He demanded, “And turn around.”

You bit down as you stared up at him. You wanted to laugh but the lines in his forehead warned you he was serious. He bent and took the cuffs from you and set the box aside. You stood, numb and shaky. You didn’t believe it. He wasn’t going to--

He spun you around and swept your arms behind you. You tried to pull away as he caught your left wrist in a cuff and quickly hooked the other. They closed tight around your wrists and he tugged on the link as if to test them.

You stared at the artificial flames licking at the glass. He cupped your ass and dragged his hands around to grip your hips.

“They look nice,” he purred, “Oh, baby.”

He bent and nuzzled your neck as he brought his arms around you and kneaded your tits. He pushed them up as he nibbled at your skin.

“These… are perfect,” he kissed you and teased your flesh with his teeth. “Fuck.”

He pulled down the top of your dress and bared your chest. You wriggled and he hugged your waist he kept you close.

“What are you doing, baby? Where are you going to go?” He tweaked your nipple, “Dressed like a little slut.”

“Hey,” you gasped and he retracted his hand to smack your ass.

He hushed you as his fingers crept down your thigh and he rolled up your skirt an inch at a time. “What are these?” He snapped your panties, “You don’t need those.” He pulled them below your ass and they fell to your ankles. “Let me show you what an old man does better than any kid.”

He reached around you and tickled your pelvis. He raised his head and inhaled the scent of your scalp as his hot breath glossed over your head.

“Don’t be shy now… or would you feel better with a camera?” He taunted. “Hmmm?”

“Hu--Ransom,” you uttered.

“Come on,” he forced his hand between your legs and flicked between your folds. “What did you think this was? How long did you think I’d wait?”

“No, but--” You gasped as he toyed with your clit, “Ransom.”

“Say it again,” he swirled his fingers. 

You gulped and moaned as he rubbed harder. Your legs quaked around his hand as he slid his fingers further back. You felt your arousal slicken as he spread it over your cunt and poked around your entrance. He slid a finger inside of you as he wiggled his crotch against your hands.

“Is this what you came for? Or did you want all of me?” He pushed another finger in. “You want me inside you, baby? Stretching you?”

You groaned as he curled his fingers and pressed the hell of his hand to your clit. He rocked his hand and cried out. Your legs cramped as your feet curled in the high stilettos.

“It doesn’t really matter what you came for,” he pushed on your shoulder until you bent forward. He caught the middle of the cuffs and held you like that. “I’m gonna get what I want.”

You closed your eyes and whined as he pulled his fingers out of you. You quivered and he spanked you before he withdrew his hand entirely. You felt him fumbling behind you as you shook your head. As you had been since you met him, you were off-balance. You couldn’t decide if what he wanted was what you wanted too.

You felt a prod along your ass. He brushed his tip down your cheek and poked between your legs. He wetted himself on your folds and pushed along your entrance. Slowly, he slid into you, grunting as he sank past his tip. Deeper and deeper until you threw your head up and moaned. He filled you completely; painfully and delightfully.

“Yeah, you want me.” He hissed as he thrust and jerked your body. “You want to be mine, don’t you?”

You hummed as he moved against you, your shoulders straining as he tugged on the cuffs.

“Say it. Say you want to be mine.”

“Ah,” you moaned, “I want-- to-- I-- I’m yours.”

“You’re mine, baby,” he snarled, “All mine. Aren’t you?”

“Y-y-yes,” your eyes rolled back as he sped up.

He rammed into you so hard your legs buckled. He growled and followed you down. He bent you over the table as swept the bucket and vase out of the way. He got to his knees as he pinned you over the top and crushed your hips against the edge. Your cheek was hot against the cool table as he jolted you.

“Mine,” he grunted, “Baby, all mine…”

He rutted into you as his voice mingled with yours. You whimpered as your legs tingled and your core bloomed. You let out a feral whine as you came, convulsing beneath him as he gripped the table above your shoulder. 

“You want me.” He rasped, “You want me to cum in you.”

“I-I-I…” You twisted your hands as you struggled to think; struggled to do more than murmur wildly.

“Fuck.” He swore and you felt him burst. 

He slowed as he slapped the table and when he stilled, he held himself over you and his breath sent a shudder through you. He sat back on his knees and slid out of you. His cum spilled down your thigh and you slumped down against him. He pinched the velvet bunched around our waist.

“You got more gifts to open, baby,” he slapped your ass as he stood, “You think you can keep up with an old man like me?”

[grimaussiewitch]

Hermits and the Eggpire

Alright it’s time for me to rant about what hermit would join/not join the eggpire, how they would react to the egg and what actions they would do with awareness that there’s a giant supernatural egg on the hermitcraft server.

(Dmwrite’s post was what inspired me for this rant so go and check out their post!)

Bdubs: I think it would be unlikely that bdubs would join the eggpire. He could but would probably be one of the last to join. If he did, that man would be blood thirsty. I can feel it… Also, Bdubs is the type of guy that would judge the eggpire on sleep. Does the egg promise that it will make everyone fall alseep? Bdubs could be for this or against it because it’s his job to sleep.

Cubfan: Cub would not join the eggpire but he would make a basement in the eggpire’s cult room and the egg’s room. Dude would have a tunnel system and I can picture him being on a hit list. He wouldn’t care much for the egg but convex tho…

Docm77: Doc is a weird one… he feels like a Sam where he would be against the eggpire but would have too many close calls. Upon first meeting the egg, Doc would be very weirded out. However, I can’t see Doc not joining? Listen, if the egg promised him to break the game but not the server, Doc would be 100% on board. He would be one of the scariest members because of his red stone skills. You thought the lava dropping at the red banquet was scary? Just you wait…

Etho: He would look at the egg once and go back to shopping. Etho could be like punz tho if he really wants some diamonds to spend. But apart from that, I can see him wanting to do much with the egg.

False: I’m not too sure with False. I’m leaning more towards False wouldn’t join the eggpire and would be actively against it. Or she’s one of the last to join. I’m not too sure?

Gem: I’m sorry but Gem would be part of the eggpire. She wouldn’t like it at first but look! The red vines look great for her build! Maybe the egg isn’t that bad? However, I can’t picture her being possessed for long, she has the vibes to snap out pretty quickly too.

Scar: This man will find a way to make a profit from the egg. Whether it be a tourist trap or selling the egg, Scar can not be influenced by the egg at all. He is number 1 on the hit list but no matter how many traps and stabbing the cult members do, Scar will bounce right back. The Egg hates him, I can feel it. Also, perhaps some convex in these egg times?

Grian: I’m sorry to say but there is no way this man won’t end up possessed. Mother spore, watcher au’s/fanon, the god damn entity and rift!?!? Grian may not be the first to join but he is certainly not the last. However, he could break away like Gem. Regardless, I can’t see grian not wanting to investigate the egg. He would probably act like he doesn’t care at first but he just keeps going down to the egg more and more.

Hypno: I don’t watch Hypno so I can’t really say for him. He does t have eggpire vibes so he’s either immune or is ignoring it.

Jevin: Hmmm, red jevin would be really cool to see… but I have a feeling he wouldn’t join? I’m not too sure.

Impulse: He wouldn’t join at first but could probably be influenced by his fellow hermits like tango or zed. Definitely more happy chappy about the egg but listen man, I wouldn’t trust him at all. I don’t know how to explain why, just trust me.

Iskall: Why do I feel like he would laugh at the egg? Iskall has the vibes that he won’t take the egg seriously until it starts to infect his friends really badly with murder and such. Overall, not worry until it becomes a big problem.

Joe: There is no doubt that Joe wouldn’t be able to communicate with the egg. He would be like technoblade where he can hear it but won’t join the eggpire. If we go into cryptid Joe territory, I think the egg would leave him alone. It wants none of that.

Keralis: I am a firm believer of non-human Keralis so I say the egg is intrigued by him but is also terrified of him. Keralis himself seems to be the type to be interested about what’s going on but doesn’t participate himself. He’s off doing his own thing while the rest of the server fights an egg cult.

Mumbo: Would mumbo be an eggpire member? Yes. Would mumbo be possessed by the egg? No. Mumbo would of been dragged into the eggpire by Grian, is a bit upset that his tie is now white but he would be out here making red stone doors for the cult rooms entrance. Honestly it would be funny if the egg can make red stone turn white. If mumbo’s tie turning red didn’t upset him, then the drained red stone would. He has the vibes of both being chill with the egg but also confused/distance. Mixed opinions here.

Pearl: I think Pearl would be one of the first to actively fight against the eggpire. Kind of takes up puffy’s role to start a resistance group. But I don’t think she would be very serious about the egg until it starts creeping onto her builds or her friends acting different.

Rendog: Okay, Ren is Bad in this situation. If Xisuma doesn’t find the egg first, Ren is 100% the first person to create the cult and try to recruit other member. He could have his giga pies be free for eggpire members for all I care. All I know is that Ren would be the first one to join and I will stand by that. I did say he would be Bad in this situation so maybe, just maybe he starts to feel off and bad about the egg cult and what he has done to his friends. All depends where the theatre kid energy goes to: dramatic evil villain or redeemed, tragic villain.

Stress: I don’t watch Stress so I’m not too sure how she would react to the giant, evil egg. Might make jokes about it all while building her base. I’m not too sure. Regardless, it’s very unlikely that she would join.

Tango: I don’t think Tango would join, dude would probably be too freaked out by the egg. Tango would drop a bunch of tnt onto the egg as a fun experiment, find out it has a very strong resistance and would walk away, never wanting to look at it or speak of it ever again. However, deck out 2 will have the warden and potential other strong mobs so who’s to say Tango won’t find a way to incorporate the egg into deck out?

TFC: He would be digging in his mines, bumps into the headquarters and turn back around. Not today hermitcraft, not today.

Vintagebeef: I’ve started watching Beef but I can’t say for sure where his feelings on the egg would be. Probably neutral-negative? I don’t think he would be happy if his sheep all turned red and some white. But hey, as long as the vibes don’t reach the hermit trading card area, everything would be fine, right guys! Right?… But he also had the whole Alien thing happening one season so there could be a 50/50 chance that Beef joins.

Wels: I can’t see this man wanting to join the eggpire. Wels doesn’t like the egg but whether or not he helps stop it is another story.

Xb: I don’t know much about Xb but his vibes say no.

Xisuma: I feel like X would be the first to know about the egg or at the very least, the first one to find the egg. Definitely not a big fan but as long as it doesn’t hurt the hermits, we’ll leave the egg alone, maybe contain it? I can picture him doing research to the side or just going on his merry way while the egg is incased in glass or obsidian. If Evil X is still alive, I can picture X being very suspicious of him. Apart from that, I also feel like he can hear the egg but it’s more like mumbling or low whispers.

Zedaph: This man would be experimenting and researching the egg and the eggpire. It doesn’t matter if he becomes possessed or not, he would be around that egg a lot, maybe does one of his dare devil challenges themed around the egg or with the egg. Honestly Zedaph is probably the reason why the egg ended up in hermitcraft. If it had to be one hermit, it would be Zed.

Cleo: I’ll be honest, Cleo feels similar to Joe and techno but the difference here is that she could join. If she’s not laughing at the eggs attempts or pointing out flaws in the eggpire’s system, she could very well join the egg for the fun of it. But in saying that, Cleo is similar to Joe, knows the egg is stupid and evil but there’s a chance she could join for the lols.

Now that’s over and done with, I have a few ideas on how the egg ends up on hermitcraft:

Zed ends up finding the egg. So during the break between season 8 and 9, Zed goes around servers to interact and research strange creatures and events. He find himself on the dream smp and gets invested with the egg. Zedaph probably ends up taking a piece of the egg with him (much to Sam’s advice to not take the egg) and at first the egg starts small, slowly getting bigger and bigger. Once it settles down on the season 9 world, it grows to its large size and a hermit end up discovering it.

An AU where the eggpire takes over the dream smp server so people have to join the eggpire, run away or die. With not much of an option, the surviving ex-dsmp members run away and find themselves on the season 9 hermitcraft world. I can picture the group being the original pro omelette group and a few others. They get to finally breathe for the first time in so long. The group gets to heal until one day, the egg returns. It could be one of them had the egg spores on them, a traitor in their midst or the eggpire attack the hermitcraft server. I could picture the eggpire being charismatic to the hermits, maybe a bit of gaslighting the ex-dsmp members but going off that a group of traumatised people ran to their server and would of explained the whole egg thing, I wouldn’t think the hermits could be swayed so easily.

One day, the egg appears on the hermitcraft server. It’s your typical “hermits not acting serious about the egg and jokingly play along” until it starts to become a bit too far.. Ren and other members start acting a bit to harsh and pushy. Vines are taking over way too many builds. Scar, already known for dying a lot, pushes to egg cult members a bit too far and has found himself in a respawn trap, dying over and over, again and again. “Okay, maybe this is going too far” the hermits think. Let it turn from a usual hermitcraft storyline into something much darker.. Or keep it the light hearted hermit way!

Grian’s god damn rift is causing problems on a bunch of servers and now the egg is here! Are you happy Grian?

Other random ideas and notes:

Previous HEP members are much more immune and possible more against the egg. While previous members of the resistance and less resistant (pun intended) against the egg’s influence and are more likely to join the egg cult.

Hermits that where red have their colour drained while other hermits have red themed clothing.

Would eggpire Xisuma have a red suit or a white suit? Both?

Red jevin red jevin red jevin red jevin.

Is Scar try’s to sell the egg, how much and who would buy it? My bets are on Etho or Grian.

I know I said Scar and Cub wouldn’t join the egg’s side but evil eggpire convex? Them convincing new members with products, cub’s red stone or scar’s charm? I kind of like that idea too.

The egg is ignored by everyone, the hermits think it’s someone build/decoration. “Wow Xb, the egg you built looks cool!” “The what now??”

Evil Xisuma wouldn’t get possessed by the egg but I can see him being for, against or neutral for the egg. All depends how it affect them.

You know how there was jokes for the egg to be turned into a giant omelette? Yeah, I think that’s much more possible.

And that’s all, if you agree or disagree with what I have said, I would love to hear your opinions! :D