#watch glory and gore on youtube

[cupofearlgreytea]

pauljulian is that you

[ghostbeam]

Oblivi_n.exe | Dabi/Touya Todoroki

Touya Todoroki, known as ‘Dabi’ to the league, quirk class: cremation, mech title: Blue. You’re his new handler. 

As Dabi’s new handler, you’re well aware of his history, how frequently he goes through handlers assigned to him. Not that he ever uses them—it’s more complete resistance. You’re not particularly good at your job. Transferred from the PLF for lack of success in handling any of their pilots, you’ve always been far too gentle. You lack authority. Your pilots never respected you. You don’t think Dabi will be any different. You give it a week. 

Notes: okay wow hiiiii it’s been a long time since I’ve posted an actual fic (nearing almost a year now😬) this is something I’ve been working on for a bit. I have mech brain rot curtesy of @streimiv and @hawnks (both of whom this is dedicated to bc there’s no way I could have written this without yapping to them abt it and also mint helped me come up w the acronym for HERO’s) and we’ve all got our own mech fics in the works atm but anywayssssss this is kind of my baby atm but I hope it makes sense it’s very inspired first and foremost by pacific rim and then also NGE (mostly through consumption of YouTube vids bc I haven’t actually watched it pls don’t hate me) it’s a whole mess of things and Dabi is kind of a bitch and reader is slowly coming into herself and at the end of the day they both wanna be metal fused to one another forever (no matter how hard he denies it) also I’m not a huge computer person idk if this title makes sense so don’t make fun of me pls ok anyways I hope u like it!!!!

Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, pilot!Dabi x handler!reader, there’s no explicit sexual content in this part, not even a kiss sorry guys, mentions of robot gore (exposed wires, insides described as guts), brief descriptions of being trapped inside a small space, descriptions of burning while inside said space, mention of surgery to fashion a metal jaw onto someone, mentions of child abuse (nothing graphic just allusions to the todoroki family and touya’s past), angst, many run on sentences, a small cliff hanger

Words: 7.9k

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 (coming soon)

You are nothing without your machine.

It’s the first rule, the first thing beaten into his brain by his father. You carry the burden of the mech alone, or you’re weak. You don’t exist. 

U.A. raises the best and brightest pilots, navigators, mechanics, and handlers, each one carefully trained to ensure the most important outcome: winning. It should be protection. It should be defense. But if Touya has learned anything at all, it’s that winning means glory. It means worship. It means HERO’s (Human Engineered Robotic Objects) are saints, and pilots are gods. 

 Touya used to be one of those best and brightest before his accident. 

First son to Enji Todoroki, Touya was supposed to be the golden child, the first Todoroki to pilot without a handler. He was supposed to carry the burden alone, something his father couldn’t do, something only one man has ever actually been capable of. 

But Touya is born weak, bad bones, a brain unable to handle all that the mech needs to unload onto it. One too many accidents results in him being expelled from the pilot program, his HERO discarded and collecting dust in its pod, and Touya is promptly transferred to mechanics. 

It should have been a smooth transition. If one kid can’t handle it, the next will. Because they have to. 

He doesn’t take the news well. It’s a fit of tears, a persistent fight, unable to accept the loss of his machine—of his body. Because Touya loves it. What he lacks in strength, he makes up for in pure passion, and despite being unable to handle the burden, there’s no denying that he’s good. He’s almost perfect. 

But almost is not enough for Enji Todoroki, and no matter how hard Touya tries, he’s made up his mind. 

After months of mechanics, Touya makes a decision. When the next fleet of HERO’s is deployed for the next kaiju battle, Touya sneaks in among the chaos, tucked neatly inside the chest of his machine where he belongs. It doesn’t take long for things to go south, for Touya to get caught in the crossfire, losing control of his mech and burning from the inside out. 

It should be an excruciating death, stuck inside a machine made for war, fire raining from above as a battle continues on outside without him. 

But he survives, because what he lacks in strength, he makes up for in resilience, and his mech is programed with solutions to every situation. He’s stuck inside for months before he’s found.

Tomura Shigaraki rescues him, pries open the chest of his mech and pulls him from inside. His group feeds him, takes him in, fashions a new jaw for him made from the metal of his mech, and allows him the decision to join their cause or go back home. 

And since there’s no home to go back to, Touya finds his footing with the league and becomes one of their top pilots. One who vehemently resists any and all handlers.

…

Touya Todoroki, known as ‘Dabi’ to the league, quirk class: cremation, mech title: Blue. You’re his new handler. 

As Dabi’s new handler, you’re well aware of his history, how frequently he goes through handlers assigned to him. Not that he ever uses them—it’s more complete resistance. You’re not particularly good at your job. Transferred from the PLF for lack of success in handling any of their pilots, you’ve always been far too gentle. You lack authority. Your pilots never respected you. You don’t think Dabi will be any different. You give it a week. 

Following closely behind Tenko, formerly Tomura, he quickly explains to you the in’s and out’s of the pilot/handler relationship, along with a warning about Dabi’s resentment toward the whole idea. You try to keep up, but he talks quickly and uses his hands a lot. Even so, you can tell he’s a natural leader, something he had to grow into after overthrowing the man who raised him. His story is a tragic one, and it resonates with you because Tenko came out the other side stronger. Now, the league is a community with a cause, one you really believe in. Even if you and Dabi aren’t the right fit, you still have a place here. 

You follow Tenko into what he calls the garage, a large floor of the abandoned academy that serves as the league’s base, this part of it full of HERO’s and mechanics all focused on the machines in front of them. It’s completely different from how HERO’s were worked on at UA, where you grew up, and even the PLF didn’t have one dedicated floor to this sort of work. You can feel the energy of the room buzzing on your skin, music blasting from old radios and mechanics tossing tools towards one another in a familiar routine. Tomura leads you to Dabi and his HERO, Blue, though you’re instructed not to call it a HERO around him. With goggles over his eyes and gloved hands, he brings two wires from Blue’s ankle together, sighing at the way they spark each time they connect. 

“Dabi.” Tomura calls over the music coming from the radio hanging off of Dabi’s waist. He drops the wires and his gaze flickers toward the two of you. Pushing his goggles up to his forehead, he gives you a once over. His eyes are the brightest you’ve ever seen—kaiju blood blue—and burn scars litter his body. He’s striking in a way you’ve never seen, almost too beautiful to be human. Giving Dabi your name, Tomura explains that you’re taking over as his handler, seeing as he couldn’t keep the last one for more than a couple of days. “She’s your last handler. If you can’t keep this one, then go ahead and fry your brain. See if I care.”

“You say that every time.” Dabi calls from around sucker as Tomura walks away, leaving you alone with your new pilot. 

You just your hand out in a greeting, “I’m looking forward to working with you.”

Eyeing your hand, Dabi shakes his head and turns his back to you, picking the two wires back up and connecting them again, despite the same spark from before igniting between the two. He looks back up at Blue, touching his fingers to the slim lines starting at the back of her ankle and running all the way up her leg. You peak over his shoulder at the wiring, noticing that he’s connecting two of the wrong ones. 

“It’s the wrong wire.” You tell him, and he spins around to look at you, tearing his goggles from his face as he scoffs. 

“Here we go.” He sighs with a roll of his eyes, pulling the candy from his lips and tossing it onto the tool cart without a care. “Handler know-it-all bullshit. This is my mech.”  

You push passed him and grab the similarly colored wire from beside a red wire and connect it with the one in Dabi’s right hand. Blue lights up cyan through the thin lines that run along each of its limbs and torso, connecting with the two cameras within its head, which seem to blink before the light reaches them. 

In an instant, you’re being pushed up against the hard metal, a strong arm over your chest—pinning you up against the HERO. Dabi, now having discarded his goggles, looks at you full of white, hot rage. 

“Don’t fucking touch her.” He growls. You’re suddenly aware of the close proximity, eyes flickering between the snarl across his lips and his angry gaze. For a beat, you both freeze, the air suddenly charged like you’re waiting for one another to strike. Snapping yourself out of his hypnotic stare, you push against his chest, forcing him to let you go. 

“If I’m going to be you’re handler, you’re going to have to trust me with her.” You remind him. He lets out a harsh laugh, like he can’t believe you would suggest such a ridiculous idea. 

“I don’t trust anything but this machine.” He speaks, turning away from you to seal up the machine’s exposed wires. It’s a challenge you’re willing to accept.

“Well, I’m here to change that.” You tell him, before turning on your heel to leave him alone. 

He thinks he’ll give you a week. 

…

One of the worst parts of being assigned a handler, Touya thinks, is the way that pilot/handler living quarters are set up. He assumes the academy, before it was abandoned and turned into a base for the league, created this sort of set up so that handlers could keep a close eye on their pilots. The handlers Touya has burned through up until now also assumed the same. 

The door that connects both the pilot’s and handler’s dorms doesn’t lock, and all of Touya’s past handlers have taken advantage of this fact. He’s been pulled out of bed far too early, pushed around and commanded and barked at. Most handlers behaved as if pilots belonged to them, which was the sentiment drilled into their brains from being thrown into such a fucked up system at a young age.—unless you were a pilot of status like a Todoroki. While he league dedicates a lot of its time to reversing these ideas, most handlers look at Touya like some kind of challenge, this arrogant pilot begging to be tamed. It never takes long for them to realize how easily he’s able to flip the switch on them. You’ll be no different.

But hours pass and you still haven’t entered. You don’t swing the door open and demand he apologize for his behavior earlier. You don’t try and punish him with training regimes, a command of a set of push ups, a schedule you expect him to follow, an extremely detailed meal plan. The entire evening comes and goes without so much as a sound on the other side of the door so he knows you’re even behind it. 

He falls asleep unnerved by this, waking up late into the night in a cold sweat, expecting you to barge in, rip the covers from his body and demand to train together. When he wakes up (peacefully) the next morning, there’s no sign of you. He rises from his bed, drinks orange juice straight from the carton and eats a candy bar for breakfast. He fiddles with the navigation screen from his mech that stopped working a couple of days ago, tools spread out on the counter in front of him. Once he’s got the thing working again, your knock sounds from the unlocked door between the two of you. He thinks this might be it, the commands he expects to fall from your lips at the ready as he swings the door open, but you stand there, nervous, hands twitching as your eyes finally meet his.

Greeted by a shirtless Touya, hair mused from sleep, cargo pants hung low on his hips, dog tags swinging against his chest, his scars on display, unashamed and proud. The sight of him knocks the breath out of you, and you clear your throat in embarrassment, hoping your state of dreaming comes off as nerves rather than lust. 

“Dabi. Or do you prefer Touya?” You smile. When he doesn’t answer, you continue. “I wanted to see if you wanted to eat breakfast together in the caf. I think we should start over. Yesterday was—”

You’re promptly cut off, “I already ate breakfast.”

With a harsh slam of the door, he leaves you stunned in your room.

You eat alone. 

When you started as a pilot, back when you’d entered UA (a few years about Touya’s accident), you went into it believing you could change the world. The exam had placed you into the position of handler, and you were assigned a pilot who had always seemed a little frightened of you despite your obvious lack of authority. Bringing the fact up to your instructors did nothing. They all assured you that this was the ideal dynamic, that the handler always had the upper hand, but you hated that feeling. You weren’t a team like you expected to be; you were urged to control your pilot. You were there to keep them in line, not to be a pillar of support. The bond was never built on trust, and the soul link was always a looming threat. No matter how many pilots you went through, the link was never held as a gift, but a prison, something you would both be stuck with for the betterment of society, a sacrifice to make. 

You’d been expelled from the handler program after guiding your pilot to help save another in the wreckage of your first battle together, resulting in the damage of your pilot’s HERO. Your pilot was okay, but the other couldn’t be saved, and you were blamed for the damage of both mech’s. 

When you found the league (or when the league found you), you were working with the PLF, but proved to be a weak handler. Every pilot you were assigned to took advantage of your optimistic outlook on the kind of relationship dynamic that pilots had with their handlers. Despite all that you had been through at UA, and with the rest of the pilots you’d been paired with after, you never gave up the hope that handlers and pilots could behave as a team, or, even better, one entity. 

Tenko had taken one look at you and demanded you’d be transferred to the league. There hadn’t been much of a choice in the matter, not that you really cared. You were miserable everywhere else. But when you arrived at the abandoned academy and taken a peak behind the kudzu covered walls where each and every area of the building acted as multiple moving parts in collaboration with one another in order to create one massive system, you realized that this was the future you imagined for yourself—and for the world you lived in.

Tenko saw something in you that day, something you aren’t sure you even see in yourself. And so Dabi was your first task, one that’s proving to be very difficult. But he doesn’t treat you like all the other pilots before had. He doesn’t use you. In fact, it seems like he wants nothing to do with you. And while that’s a problem, it’s still one you can work with. 

You’re broken from your thoughts by the sound of a voice through an overhead intercom asking for everyone to meet on the first floor of the academy at their earliest convenience. Judging by the quick movements of those around you, you figure you’d better head downstairs as soon as possible. 

The meeting on the first floor makes you very aware of just how small the league really is. While it’s definitely not a tiny organization, it’s still much smaller than both UA and the PLF. With everyone piled up like this in one group, you realize it feels more like a community, and the hum of conversation that surrounds you comforts you in a way you’ve never felt within the walls of any other academy before. 

There’s discussion about the upcoming mission, one which may be the league’s most ambitious yet; the plan to hijack a mech and kidnap a pilot may be a little unorthodox compared to the league’s past missions, but the jaded pilot they’re targeting has a high chance of joining the cause. Or that’s what they have assumed. As the bodies move and speak around you, it strikes you how different this meeting is from any other meeting you’ve ever been a part of. Tenko is less a dictator and more a wrangler for the disembodied voices of your peers. 

You don’t know much about his story, save for the vague details you’ve heard, but Tenko’s status as a lone handler is something you find yourself curious about. If he’s able to work without a pilot, why can’t you? It’s an idea you keep in your back pocket, one you think you can fall back on if things with Touya don’t work out. But you want them to work out. So badly. 

You aren’t sure what it is about him, but he’s reignited that spark inside of you. You know he’d rather you give up, and maybe the you from a couple of months ago would have, but something about him—and this place—won’t let you leave. 

As you observe the meeting, you take the time to look around the room, taking in your peers and their attentive faces as they listen to Tenko intently. You turn to your right, your eyes meeting a pair of blue ones, impossible to miss. Dabi holds your stare for what feels like ages, and when your colleagues erupt in a fit of many simultaneous discussions, you tear your eyes from his to observe the commotion. When you glance back in his direction, he’s gone. 

You don’t seem him again after that. You train with other handlers, get to know your peers a little better. Everyone else seems to be welcoming, and most offer you sympathy when they find out you’re Touya’s new handler. From what you can gather, he’s had his fair share of them, all of which have quit or left in hysterics due to his harsh nature. When you ask around about where he could be, you’re told that he’s most likely in the garage, a place you assume he’s in more often than not.

You don’t know if you’ll ever get used to the garage. A place so completely different, so against the ideas and beliefs of any other academy you’ve been a part of, the chaos and community within is so foreign to you. You find Touya with Blue, working inside of her chest, where the cockpit is. 

“Touya!” You call up to him and watch as he peaks his head over the edge of her metal plating. Annoyance falling across his face, he jumps down from where he stands, landing hard on his feet in front of you. 

“What are you doing here?” He questions, his figure so tall and imposing above you. He’s not particularly muscular, not even all that tall compared to Tenko, but he makes you feel small regardless, in more ways than one. Rolling your shoulders back, you stare straight into his eyes, unwilling to back down. 

“I figured you wanted your space today.” You explain, as Touya moves around you to get to his rolling cart of tools, forcing you to turn toward him and follow him if you want him to hear you. “I know adjusting to a new handler is rough, and I never want to make you uncomfortable. But I was thinking we could try some of those pilot/handler bonding exercises. It might be good to start training like some of the others do.”

He drops the wrench in his hand onto his cart with a loud thud, turning around toward you with a look of disbelief on his face. “Pilot/handler bonding exercises? They really brainwashed the shit out of you at UA, huh?”

At the mention of your past academy, your eyes widen in surprise. You had no idea he knew about that. Clearing your throat in order to compose yourself, you speak again, “I left UA for a reason. I have no attachment to their methods, but you guys do the same stuff here, so what’s the issue?”

“The issue is that I never asked for a fucking handler in the first place, especially not one as eager as you.” He spits, “Sure, you’re understanding now, all that bullshit about ‘giving me space,’ but the moment you get a lick of power over me, you’ll change. You’re not different.”

“I don’t want power over you. This is an equal exchange. Pilot’s and handlers are meant to be a team—” You try and argue, but he doesn’t let you finish. 

“That’s what they told you, right? We’re a team, and as teammates, you make sacrifices. And it doesn’t matter if one of you turns into the other’s braindead dog because that’s your place.” His words hit you hard, the exact thought process you went through when leaving UA, completely disillusioned with their idea of “teamwork.” He’s right, and you know it, but since coming here, you thought that wasn’t how it had to be.

“Look, trust me, I get—” You’re cut off again.

“You went to UA! There’s no trusting you.” He scoffs, “It’s not like you’ll last here, anyway.”

“You are such a hypocrite! You’re from UA!” You retort, throwing your arms up in desperation. “You can hate me all you want. You can resist and resist and fry your brain ‘till there’s nothing left, but I believe in this shit. And you don’t get to tell me that I don’t, or tell me I’ll turn into something I worked so hard to get away from.”

Touya stands there, surprised by your outburst, completely unaware that you were capable of all of that. He doesn’t say anything back, and you roll your eyes. “So fuck you, and, by the way, her angel port is smoking.”

At your words, he turns in a rush, seeing the smoke billowing from Blue’s chest as he climbs his way up her form. Once inside his machine, he extinguishes the port and allows himself to relax. There are two things on his mind in this moment: how you could have possibly known it was the angel port without being inside of Blue’s chest and how, for the first time in a long time, he feels bad for his handler.

But for you, it’s the first time you’ve ever held your own against a pilot before, and that feels good.

…

Something feels weird.

Off, unsettling, strange.

He realizes, much to his dismay, that it’s your absence. Despite only having you around for such a short time, Touya has realized that your lack of presence now feels wrong. He hates it. He hates you. 

He can’t find you. You haven’t knocked on his door. You’re not in the caf, not the garage, not the sparring floor, not in your room. And he did check—without knocking. 

He’s not even sure how he can feel an absence. You aren’t a regular part of his life, and he never wanted you to be. But he feels all fucked up.

During training, Touya jams Blue’s halo core and she leaks vibrant neon from between her ribs. It takes him half an hour to get her reboot her system and rips one of the cables attached to the back of his suit in the process. He spends the afternoon cleaning HERO fluid off the sparring floor. 

During repairs, he shocks himself over and over while trying to fix her core, fingers burning from the sparks each time he arranges the wires inside. The cameras in her eyes won’t work from the reboot, and Blue won’t let him unlock the lens panel to fix it. It’s almost like she’s mad at him too.

He’s a complete mess. It’s your fault. He has no choice but to go looking for you. Again.

He searches every wing of the academy before concluding that you’re in your room. He barges through the joint door, spotting you at the counter in your tiny kitchen. You’re surprised by the intrusion, a frightened gasp falling from your lips as you jump in your seat. You turn toward him, prepared with angry words on your tongue, but Touya speaks first.

“You’re not getting an apology out of me, so don’t expect it.” He begins, moving to stand in front of your swiveling kitchen stool as he looks down at you. “But I’m willing to be civil with you, so we don’t have to do this shit anymore.”

You’re not exactly sure what “this shit” is, but Touya looks a little worse for wear at the moment, so you don’t question it. He places a tray from the caf down in front of you that you hadn’t noticed in his hands upon arrival, says nothing else, and turns to leave the room. After shutting your joint door, you look down at the tray of food, noticing one of his suckers placed onto a vacant compartment of the tray. 

You’re greeted the next morning with a knock on your door, Touya dressed in his pilot’s suit on the other side as you swing the door open. “C’mon. You’re gonna watch me train today.”

You watch him turn around to leave, expecting you to follow. You rush to pull on your combat boots and grip your dog tags in your fist as you rush to catch up to him. He doesn’t spare you a glance as you fall into step beside him, taking a look around his dorm before he leads you through the exit door. 

“You need to get a feel for my fighting style.” He explains as you walk down the corridor. “I’m not saying I’ll listen to you when it comes down to it, but it’s important for you to know.”

You nod, agreeing that you should definitely observe him inside of his HERO. By understanding his moves, you’ll be able to understand the way he thinks, and you’ll be able to help him in actual combat if needed. He’s already said he won’t listen to you, but it won’t stop you from trying. He stops abruptly, turning to look at you, and you stop with him. 

“If we’re gonna do this, it’ll be on my terms. I’m not your dog.” He tells you, seriously. He eye’s you up and down, taking in your expression as you nod at his words. “If anything, you’re mine.”

He begins walking again, leaving you in your spot, irritation filling your chest as you watch him, smug. “Asshole.” You curse under your breath.

“What’d you say?” He barks, turning to look at you abruptly.

“You’re an asshole.” You speak louder. He walks back toward you, making sure to tower over you intimidatingly as he looks down at you in annoyance. His eyes flicker down to the tags around your neck before hooking a finger on the chain and pulling you closer. 

“Watch it.” He drops the chain and walks away again. 

You follow him to the sparring floor, and he shows you where to go to watch. Stood behind a large window that looks over the sparring area, other members of the base watch the HERO’s engage in combat below. You spot Tenko and he motions for you to stand beside him. 

“I knew he’d warm up to you.” He comments. The last of the previous battle finishes and you watch the two enormous machines retreat to the sides of the area, their pilots emerging from their chests with their handlers rushing to the bottom of the mech’s in support. 

“He hasn’t. He’s not.” You shake your head. You aren’t sure why you deny it, if it’s some way to keep your expectations low or if there’s some kind of embarrassment aspect to the whole thing. Whatever is happening between you and Touya feels intimate and private, something that the two of you need to figure out for yourselves, not something meant for the eyes of others.

“Hm. Okay.” Tenko shrugs. “Guess not.”

You hadn’t noticed Touya enter his mech at all. You see the swing of one giant mechanic arm, too close to the window you stand behind, and you’ve shifted your full attention to the scene at hand. 

The enormity of the room surprises you, despite the fact that you had seen it just moments before. But when you’re truly looking at it, watching these huge machines go at each other, the way the ground shakes, the leaves outside shake, the deep forrest clear in view from the wall that opens out to the greenery (the lack of a wall is likely from the academy’s abandoned state, but it’s a good feature to have on the sparring floor when giant robots are toppled over onto various surfaces).

The way Blue moves is electric, mechanic movements almost feel fluid with the way that Touya pilots her, easily dodging attacks from their opponent and moving around them in the most graceful way a giant machine can. It’s beautiful, unlike any fighting style you’ve ever seen in a HERO before. 

“He’s showing off for you.” Tenko observes from beside you. You don’t argue with him, only because you can’t dispute it. This is your first time seeing him in action. It makes your heart beat out of your chest. There’s this ache like you should be inside with him, cables connected to both of you, tucked neatly inside of Blue together. 

It doesn’t take him long to get his opponent on their back, the heavy thump against the floor jostling the ant-like figures on the ground below, handlers waiting for their pilots to finish. It goes on like this for a while, his training, using different methods of combat and winning each time. He’s amazing, and you can tell why his reputation is the way it is, second only to Tenko, who you have yet to see in action. 

When he finishes his last session, you watch Blue walk to the edge of the room, and Touya emerges from her chest, jumping the long way down her body without any issue. You watch as he looks toward the window you’re behind. He waves at you, an acknowledgment of your presence, and you wave back, though you aren’t sure he can actually see you.

It’s the beginning of everything for the two of you. You think Tenko was right.

He lets you stay with him afterwards while he does maintenance on Blue. He helps you climb up the path to her chest, hauling you over the edge to sit inside with him. He turns around abruptly, holding a hand up before allowing you to walk any further.

“Do not touch anything.” He warns, completely serious, before letting his hand fall and allowing you further into the cockpit. You take in your surroundings, the guts of his machine, analyzing the different control panels and screens that line the interior. You can tell he takes good care of her, and he spends a lot of time in here. It looks lived in, stickers stuck to metal plating and pieces of him all over. He’s made a second home in between the ribs of his mech. You feel a little jealous, though you aren’t sure of what. 

The two of you sit against the left side of Blue’s interior, waiting for her updates to finish, the loading screen on each of her monitors display a fire graphic that grows with the increasing percentage on screen. Between you and Touya sits an opened bag of sour gummies, which Touya picks out the lemon flavor and drops the candy in your palm with each new handful he gathers. 

“How do you know all this stuff?” He questions around a mouthful of sour cherry, “Like, the real names for things, where stuff goes, how to fix them. That day with the wires…”

“I spent a lot of time around mechanics at UA, and then also at the PLF.” You explain, picking the yellow colored candy from his open palm as you speak. “I couldn’t connect with other handlers. I didn’t like how they thought, or how they viewed the pilot/handler relationship. Mechanics were mostly neutral, and they loved these machines like nothing else. They reminded me of why I joined UA in the first place.”

“Hm.” He nods, thinking about your past. “Well, I guess if you spent so much time around actual professionals…I could maybe use your help sometimes in the garage.”

“Really?” You question excitedly, a spark lighting up your eyes as you swerve your head toward him. He feels something tight in his chest at the sight.

“Yes, but only on the outside. I don’t want you messing with her insides, yet.” He establishes. “And never alone. I have to be there at all times.”

“Of course, yes, oh my god. Touya!” You smile, gripping his shoulder firmly, a gesture of thanks, communication of how much his trust means to you. “I’ll be so careful with her, I promise.”

“Yeah, well, you have no other choice.” He shrugs, throwing another pile of candy in his mouth. “I’ll kill you if anything happens to her.”

You take the threat seriously, but his heart isn’t in it. He’s realized that you’ve wormed your way into his life and he hadn’t even noticed just how entangled you were now. 

As the weeks go by, you spend a lot more time together. You work on blue together, and you rest inside of her chest, sometimes allowing yourself to drift off against his shoulder on especially tiring days. He sits beside you in the caf, and while he doesn’t always say much, the feeling of his arm against yours is comforting. You can tell people are starting to notice, and they’re starting to talk. You’re being dubbed someone who’s tamed him, but you know how far from the truth that is. 

Despite your differences and the petty arguments that come up when Touya feels like you’re intruding on his independence, you’re growing attached. You wonder if he is, too.

…

Spending time together in the garage becomes the new normal for the two of you. Being in each other’s dorms feels far too intimate, so you always meet in the garage. This way, one of you is always busy doing something with your hands. There’s no room for any strange feelings in the pit of your stomach to seep in. 

You sit in the crook of Blue’s neck, watching Touya as he repairs the lenses in her “eyes.” Blue has three pairs of eyes; in her head, her chest, and down near her hips, which all footage is projected onto monitors inside the cockpit so that Touya has a full view of what’s in front of him. 

He’s so peaceful while he works, you’ve noticed, almost like he goes somewhere else completely. It’s a part of him you don’t think many people get to see, a piece of him just for you, and you want to be selfish with it.

“Can I ask you something?” You question, leaning your head back against the metal. “But you can’t get mad.”

He looks up at you, still fiddling with a lens, a mocking look on his face. “I’m not making any promises.”

You take a deep breath, preparing yourself for the possible fallout of the question you’re about to ask, “What do you think about the soul link?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “I’d never do it.”

You nod your head in understanding, “yeah, I get it. It’s weird, right? The idea that someone else would be inside your brain.”

“It’s fucking invasive.” He says.

“You know, at UA it always felt like a threat, you know. Like, it was a way for a handler to control their pilot, not a tool or a bond like it should be.” You begin, thinking back to how you viewed the soul link back then. You didn’t like how the bond was presented as this power that a handler holds over their pilot, a threat to keep their pilot in line. But, you could understand how the link could be used for good. “But since coming here, I can tell it’s not all bad. People trust each other here. I mean, there’s obviously some people who abuse it, but, for the most part, everyone seems to understand what it really means to be a pilot and a handler.”

You’re mostly just thinking out loud, but Touya doesn’t say anything to your ramblings. He continues to work on the lenses, and you can gather that he doesn’t want to talk about the subject anymore. But you can’t let it go, yet. There’s something you’ve been worried about since you met him.

“And what about…your brain? They say when a handler and a pilot don’t complete the soul link, the pilot will eventually fry their brain.” You can’t help it. You think about it all the time, what will happen when he can’t take it anymore. The closer you get to him, the realer it feels. “Are you ever worried about that?”

He looks at you, an expression you can’t quite make out fall across his face as he stares. It’s almost soft, the way he looks at you in this moment. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

The truth is, this is a reality Touya has accepted. He’s not afraid to die, and he never has been. He’ll probably die inside of Blue, and he has no problem with that fact. He doesn’t need to be around for long, just enough to show his dad what he’s capable of.

“C’mon.” You stare. “That’s not fair.”

“Shit. I left some of the screws for this in my dorm.” He curses. He looks where you lounge, tucked into Blue’s shoulder. “Keep an eye on her, okay?”

You watch him jump down, much higher than his usual height at her chest, but he lands anyway. He doesn’t turn to look back at you as he jogs away. You climb up the side of Blue, and look at the lenses in her head. They’re already repaired, and you know Touya used the excuse of missing screw just so he wouldn’t have to talk about the soul link.

But it’s the first time he’s ever left you alone with Blue before. 

…

As the mission draws closer, Touya throws himself into training. You’re on the training floor with him most days, standing behind that big glass panel as you watch him spar with his peers. He still doesn’t let you down on the floor with him until he’s full out of Blue and close enough to the edge of the sparring floor to get to you. You’re not allowed in the actual training area, and even though he says he doesn’t want you clinging to him, it’s really because he wants to keep you safe. Seeing your human body near the giant machines that are HERO’s makes him want to grab you and keep you inside of Blue’s chest forever. 

You can tell all the training is taking a toll on him. With an excess of headaches and the occasional nosebleed, you continuously get into arguments about him cutting back on training inside of Blue. There are other ways for him to prepare that don’t involve his fragile brain being hooked up to an entity that takes so much. He doesn’t listen.

Later and later into the night, as your fellow pilots and handlers disperse and return to their rooms to sleep, Touya stays inside of Blue, testing her movements and sparring against test dummies and obstacles. Once you and Touya are the only two left on the sparring floor, you speak into the intercom attached to your head.

“Touya, I think you should take a break.” You tell him, “It’s late. Get some rest and then we can pick it back up in the morning.”

There’s a pause, then, “I’m gonna stay for another hour. Get some sleep. I’ll be done soon.”

“No, Touya. You’ve been at it for hours. You barely took a break for dinner. C’mon.” 

“You know, you sound awfully like a handler trying to tell their pilot what to do.” He teases, but you can hear the irritation in his voice.

“You are insufferable. I’m worried about you.” You groan.

“I’m fine. Go sleep.” He insists.

“If I find out you aren’t out of here in an hour—” Your line is promptly cut off, leaving behind static in your ear. You sigh and throw your com to the side. You hope he’s telling the truth.

With one last look at Blue, you make your way out of the training floor and find your way back to your dorm. 

Touya doesn’t answer the door when you knock the next morning. With a frustrated groan, you leave your dorm and head to the training floor, assuming he woke up early to get some extra hours in. The closer you get the the floor, you notice other members of the base rushing in front of you. Feeling panicked, you pick up the pace, jogging toward the training room to make sure something isn’t wrong. You collide with a body in front of you, nearly falling to the floor as you steady yourself. Toga stands in front of you, her cheeks red and eyes glossy as she explains something your mind can’t catch up to understand. The only thing you recognize is his name, and you’re running toward the training floor in an instant. 

You watch as Blue stomps around the area, her arms swinging in all directions, losing her footing as she moves. Knowing you can’t do anything on the floor, you make your way up to the overlook, finding Tenko yelling into your intercom. 

“What’s going on? What’s happening?” You ask him, pulling the headset off of his head and placing it on yours instead. 

“He’s out of fucking control. He won’t answer. I don’t even think he’s conscious in there.” He tells you, running a hand through his hair, pulling at the roots in anxiety. “You’re not linked yet, are you?”

You shake your head, closing your eyes in frustration as you try to think. You know it’s the only way. You have to take some of the burden off of him, make him share it with you. It’s the only way he’ll survive right now. “Do you think you can get into Decay right now and knock him down somehow?”

He hesitates, “I can get inside. I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to touch him at all.”

“You have to.” You plead, desperately. “I just need him down for ten seconds, tops. As long as I can get inside of her, I can save him.”

He looks at you like you’re insane, and maybe you are. But you know you can’t live with yourself if you don’t try something. Tenko nods.

“I can do it.” He tells you. You rush passed him, following the stairs down to the training area. You feel Tenk grab your wrist firmly. “You bring him back, okay?”

“I will.” You nod. 

He dodges Blue’s movements, weaving between her legs as he finally makes it to Decay. It takes a few moments for him to connect, but he goes straight for Blue. You watch the giant machines fight one another, but it’s clear that Blue’s lack of control hinders much of her ability. She needs Touya just as much as he needs her. It’s tough for Decay to dodge her swinging arms, but Tenko manages to knock her down quickly.

The fall shakes the room, but you waste no time running for Blue. Climbing over the side of her, you manage to touch your thumb to the pad on the outside to open her chest up. She begins to stand up, and you slip down, grabbing onto a bar beneath her ribcage. You let out a frustrated groan as you try to pull yourself up over the edge of the cockpit. Finally making it over, you see Touya sitting there, still connected to his pilot’s chair, eyes glazed over and blood gushing from his nose. You push the button that closes the panel in Blue’s chest, and you’re suddenly alone with him. 

Touya’s body is being jerked around by the movement of the mech, and you hang onto the walls of her chest in order to make your way to him. You situate yourself in his lap, taking his head in your hands as you look at him with tears in your eyes.

“You fucking asshole! I told you to take a break.” You sob, resting your head against his as you try and think of what to do next. “Touya, please. Please, baby, I need to you come back. Just fucking come back so I don’t have to do this without your permission, please.”

With no response from him, you wipe your tears, coming to terms with the fact that you have to complete the soul link now, or he’ll die. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Touya. Please forgive me.”

The soul link isn’t exactly an action so much as it is a feeling, an experience. There’s no trigger for it, no way to make it happen. It just begins. 

It’s Touya, aged thirteen, wild, chubby-cheeked and happy, in the pilot’s seat of his father’s HERO. It’s his drive, his determination, his anger, his hurt. It’s the day he snuck into battle, the day he couldn’t get out, flesh burning and fusing to the metal walls of his mech, the feeling now deep in your skin. It’s you, aged fifteen, hopeful, alive, shaking hands with your first pilot. It’s your heart, much too big and much too open for your line of work, it’s your passion, your fire, every piece of you that was broken down again and again until there was nothing left. It’s Touya and it’s you, and every single bit of your souls now tied together in one big knot. 

There’s nothing but darkness. And then there’s screaming. And then you can hear everything. Every thought running through Touya’s brain right now echoes in your head as you slowly come back to yourself. He can hear the same of yours.

It’s overwhelming at first, to have two sets of thoughts in your head at the same time, but you manage to focus. You can feel an anger inside of you like you’ve never felt. It’s almost like it’s your own. You need to come back. You’ve lost control of Blue.

In an instant, you feel yourself come back to your body, now straddling Touya like before, you feel his arms shoot around you and he tucks his chin over your shoulder to pilot Blue like he’s used to doing. He pays no mind as he presses up against you, but you feel your heart rate increase at the closeness. 

He’s so close.

I have to be. You’re in my lap.

Shit. I didn’t think—

Clearly.

I can’t fucking believe you. I told you we weren’t going to do this.

You were dying!

Then you fucking let me!

You’re jostled around in his lap for a moment as he stops Blue from destroying any more of the training floor, and Touya wraps an arm around your waist, holding you steady.

He gains control of her quickly, moving her toward the edge of the room. You tuck your face into his neck, not wanting to distract him and keeping your thoughts at bay so you don’t overwhelm him. He powers Blue down, severing the neural connection between the two of you, and shoves you from his lap and into the pilot’s chair like you’ve burned him. He storms out of the cockpit, climbing out of his machine and leaving you inside. You think about the argument you had within each other’s head, how Touya would have rather died than be linked to you like he is now. 

You slump against the seat, comforted by the metal cage you’ve been left inside of. 

[gryffindorloser]

go support independent student filmmakers! watch glory and gore on youtube! dark academia vibes AND written and produced by a team of women, with explorations of cult mentality, masculinity and morality. seriously, go watch it!

[ivy-is-chaos]

please watch glory and gore on YouTube! it is a student film with very dark acidemia vibes and it was amazing! the story is great and all of the characters are interesting. you can clearly see the time effort and care that was put into creating the film.

[wrongcaitlyn]

I'm currently rereading talk your talk, its so good! And I've forgotten if you've posted a concise list of Nico's songs anywhere?

I saw you mentioning that you kind-of based Lou Ellens youtube channel on hthaze, and watched his reactions for the Nico songs. I thought that sounded really fun to do! -but to do that myself I would need a track list (and look up the albums since I'm not very well-versed in Taylor Swift)

Keep up the amazing work(no pressure)! and i hope you have a nice weekend :)

i actually only have the first album all listed out in the fic, so i'll be writing out a tracklist for you anyway!! i also have all of the playlists for the talk your talk verse linked in the beginning notes of greatest of luxuries, so they're all in playlists there if you'd like to listen to it then - and then i think when eventually, nda3 is released, i'll add it to the end notes of the fic!

so, here's nico di angelo's discography:

(btw everything that says taylor swift, if there is a taylor's version, listen to the taylor's version!!)

haunted

haunted - taylor swift i know it won't work - gracie abrams till forever falls apart - ashe, finneas lovely - billie eilish, khalid renegades - x ambassadors best friend - conan gray team - lorde labyrinth - taylor swift difficult - gracie abrams the very first night - taylor swift gold rush - taylor swift long sleeves - gracie abrams motion sickness - phoebe bridgers overdrive - conan gray out of the woods - taylor swift

in between albums, there were two promotional singles

getaway car - taylor swift

mess it up - gracie abrams

doomsday

doomsday - lizzy mcalpine glory and gore - lorde tennis court - lorde this is me trying - taylor swift everything i wanted - billie eilish mess it up - gracie abrams for real this time - gracie abrams 400 lux - lorde block me out - gracie abrams graveyard shift - jonah kagen the exit - conan gray decode - sabrina carpenter getaway car - taylor swift eyes open - taylor swift the story of us - taylor swift

after doomsday, there is one single

new romantics - taylor swift

that's all there is for now! let me know if i should make a playlist of his entire discography that's updated every now and then, bc as of now i just have playlists of his singles and the individual albums! thank you for the ask :)

[dailyoyo]

ok so in my haert i think yoyo would enjoy watching and making youtube poops*. and this copies over to nt-3000. which then of course he introduces the concept to the noise tanks. and by extension to zero beat (who joins them in this postgame bc i said so)

And attempting to make a ytp just does somethig absolutely weird to zeap. he starts slapping that shit together and uplaoding it directly from his weird robot brain. and the thing is they're not funny. They barely even qualify as YTPs if at all. theyre nauseating rapidfire trainwrecks of spliced clips and distorted audio and sensory overload anywhere from a few seconds to hours. the flashing imagery and erratic volume spikes make the audiovisual experience genuinely hazardous. there is no distinction made between acceptable sources and graphic shock footage with like irl gore and stuff. sometimes if youre lucky therell be like a very well done ytpmv segment or like some actual jokes but overall they are fucking unwatchable. likely get taken down from the internet VERY fast

and Zero Beat just sits down and goes into this like serene trance state generating these. its self expression and its got him placated like an ipad baby.

and he shows some of his "creations" to the noise tanks. and they stare for several long moments before someone turns to him and says, with evident concern "Is this... supposed to be funny?" and zero beat stares back utterly blankly with nothing happening in his head but nightcore grace and glory. and he just goes "........huh?" and then boredly walks away ending the conversation

*would perhaps be more accurate, given JSR is set in japan, to say MADs, but those appear to be a somewhat broader umbrella to my understanding and i am attempting to convey a slightly more specific genre of comedic and oft-nonsensical video editing. PEMDAS (please excuse my damnable american spadinner)

[bartfargo]

Terrifier 3 (2024) KILL COUNT

If you're a fan of gore and one of Dead Meat's Patreon backers ($1 a month is sufficient), you can watch this Kill Count in all its uncensored glory; otherwise, I hope you like blurry screens, as nothing else would satisfy the folks at YouTube.

Barring any more disasters, the schedule will begin settling into doing Video Game Kill Counts on the first Friday of each month, with movie Kill Counts on the second and fourth Fridays.

Next time: Mouthwashing

[sportzwireradio]

WWE LEGEND RHINO TALKS TO TOM BRICE ON SPORTZWIRE RADIO!

Media Alert: NEW YORK, JANUARY 21, 2024 /THOMAS BRICE/-- Sportzwire Radio the #1 global radio station was recently honored to have on WWE legend Rhino former ECW and NWA world champion and the most recent member of the TNA Wrestling Hall of Fame.

Rhino, first rose to national prominence in the original incarnation of Extreme Championship Wrestling otherwise known as ECW. Debuting in mid-1999, the powerhouse took the wrestling world by storm as he destroyed icons like Raven, Tommy Dreamer and The Sandman. Soon, even the highly passionate hardcore fan base of ECW began to take notice of the devastating and impactful “GORE!” Rhino, at CyberSlam 2000 defeated Yoshihiro Tajiri for the ECW Television Championship

Rhino, at ECW’s final pay-per-view, Guilty as Charged 2001, made history. Immediately after The Sandman won the ECW Championship in a grueling matchup, The Man Beast appeared in New York City’s Hammerstein Ballroom and pinned his rival to win the title in just one minute, becoming the first competitor to simultaneously hold ECW’s two singles championships.

Rhino, who would debut in WWE in 2001 where he would win the WWE Hardcore Championship and finish #9 in the PWI 500 later that year.

Rhino made his TNA debut in 2005 and at that year’s Bound For Glory, Rhino won the NWA World Heavyweight Championship. His GORE-filled career also has included two reigns with the TNA World Tag Team Championship. Rhino in 2015 would return to WWE and on September 11th, 2016, Rhino would win 1/2 of the first ever Smackdown tag-team championships.

Rhino, on October 26th, 2024, was inducted into the TNA Wrestling Hall of Fame in Detroit, Michigan the hometown of the War Machine Rhino.

"The War Machine Rhino has been a part of some of the greatest moments in wrestling history and has dedicated his life to the sport of wrestling for 30 years. Growing up in New York City just minutes away from the Elks Lodge, the Hammerstein Ballroom, and Madison Square Garden where I watched Rhino take the wrestling world by storm due to his devastating GORE! I am truly honored Rhino came on Sportzwire Radio and I would like to recognize Rhino coming on Sportzwire Radio is only possible due to the overwhelming support from my family, friends, the thousands of wrestlers from all over the world who come on Sportzwire Radio and the wrestling fans who tune in to Sportzwire Radio where it is the only platform in prime time on the brightest lights the biggest stage where all wrestling matters! I want to thank Rhino for coming on Sportzwire Radio and I want to permanently acknowledge on January 8th as Rhino Day on all Sportzwire Radio platforms."--Thomas J. Brice, owner of Sportzwire Radio

You can watch a clip from of the most recent member of the TNA Wrestling Hall of Fame Rhino on Sportzwire Radio below.

You can watch the full interview of War Machine Rhino on Sportzwire Radio with the Rev. Tom Brice in the link below.

Sportzwire Radio is the #1 global radio station featuring 10 podcasts covering all of the latest happenings in the world of sports and wrestling along with live music and talk. The Sportzwire Radio Youtube channel has nearly 1400 subscribers and Sportzwire Radio has featured interviews with the likes of former MLB world series champions Mark Gubicza also a member of the Kansas City Royals Hall of Fame and Art Shamsky. New York Mets legend Glendon Rusch, New York Islanders great Rich Pilon and now former ECW and NWA World Champion and member of the TNA Wrestling Hall of Fame Rhino. Sportzwire Radio also features live wrestling coverage from around the world with the voice of all wrestling and the owner of Sportzwire Radio the Rev. Tom Brice. You watch or listen to Sportzwire Radio anytime via the watch now or listen live buttons at sportzwireradio.org.

Media Information and Availability For Sportzwire Radio:

Thomas Brice (347) 282-7735

Twitter: @ThomasBrice2017

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Linked In: Thomas-brice-9994b61b8

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Youtube: @sportzwireradio6579

[grayoil]

Mexican cartel claymation videos and Tim Firth

I’ve been thinking a lot about violence lately and how we depict it. How far is too far? Is the depiction of hyper violence in visual arts romanticization or just an acknowledgment of what is already all around us? Is there a point, does there have to be one? Most of the time violence is totally avoidable, yet we are surrou-nded by it. If art is just a reflection of society and we already live in a world filled with meaningless blood, death and gore is it unfair to dismiss this art as being pointless?

What if you recreated the brutalization and death of a person? 

I was watching the video YouTube‘s Unwatched Horrors [Vol.2] and it introduced me to the channel Tim Firth. Most of their videos get 40 or a few hundred views. Through claymation, they re-create videos of fights, gore, Mexican cartel videos and videos in Ukrainian using the same audio. But they also make their own short films-ish. They have a playlist called Hand Sketch Animation, I don’t really know how to describe it so if you’re curious go watch it.

I think there most popular video is Mexican Chainsaw Video, re-creating an infamous video that want around the Internet of the cartel killing and torturing two men. This strangely enough, is a genre in its own right. Not all of these claymations are recreating real videos, though they often use real audio of shootings. Cicada Cult Studios is another channel that depicts gang warfare and shootings. Unlike Tim Frith they don’t seem to re-create real life events but that does not make the subject matter of these animations any less real.  

In the video titled Warfare Shooting Gun Fight Stop Motion Claymation one commenter writes “ dang dude this is art…. No glory no happy endings, no one wins... just sadness, suffering, and death.” Despite the real intentions of the creator, whatever they may be and you or my personal feelings, these animations speak to a truth that people connect with. 

After I watched a fair amount of Tim Firth’s videos and watched their YouTube shorts, I was left wondering why? What is the commentary? Is this just for pure fun, a morbid fascination? Yes Why recreate this through stock motion? I don’t think I’ll ever get an answer, but it left me thinking.

If nothing else go watch the Hand Sketch Animation videos. It could be me being delusional, but I do think there’s genuine social commentary in this playlist and even if there isn’t and its all just totally meaningless crude drawings, I don’t care because I connected with them.

One things for certain and it’s that I’m probably an idiot for overthinking all this. Here’s a film review of Wolfs

[travelingstrawberry]

Dear Yuletide Writer 2023

It’s another Yuletide season! Thank you for writing for me this year and I hope you have fun this Yuletide!

I am also open to treats, because more cake, so go wild!

Below are some ramblings about my fanfic likes and requested fandoms, but please take them as guidelines. As long as your fic avoids the DNW list, feel free to write what excites you and I’m sure we’ll both have a great time!!

Requested fandoms:

你是我的荣耀 | You Are My Glory (TV)

卿卿日常 | New Life Begins (TV) 

还珠格格 | Huán Zhū Gé Gé | Princess Returning Pearl

如懿传 | Ruyi’s Royal Love in the Palace (TV)

知否知否应是绿肥红瘦 | The Story of Minglan (TV) 

Solitaire - Alice Oseman 

AO3 name: RuanChunXian

Do Not Want: 

dub/non con, ABO, mpreg, bathroom and vomit play/kinks, anal sex , daddy kink, incest, modern AU for historical-based shows, graphic violence, gore, grimdark, hurt no comfort, whump, incurable illness, hanahaki, first and second person narrative (exception for epistolary form), AU with fantasy/supernatural elements, alternate settings such as high school, coffee shops etc. Canon divergence is okay. 

Likes: 

Humour, especially of the snarky banter variety

Worldbuilding/historical references in historical shows

Missing scenes, especially if it explains plot holes or offers space for exploring character motivations

Friends to Lovers

Romantic fluff or healthy, romantic relationships between consenting adults who communicate

Domesticity

Slice of life

Found family dynamics, supportive friendships

Particularly strong, loyal friendships between women. In fact, in historical shows where the world/setting can be misogynistic, I would prefer stories focusing on the friendships and bonds between women, and how they survive that world, rather than their relationships with men, unless the relationship with men are of the more healthy, consenting adults of equal power variety

On the whole I would rather read about kind, decent men who have a healthy relationship with independent women and drink their respect women juice. However, with regards to a character like Qianlong in Ruyi, for example, I don’t mind exploring what makes him the man that he is, and taking into consideration the historical context of his powerful position. 

Characters, but especially women, being competent, clever, or getting out close scrapes or tricky situations using their wit and intellect

Development/exploration of female characters, especially those who may get less spotlight in canon

Everybody Lives Nobody Dies AUs

I prefer M/F and F/F ships to M/M (Does not apply to Solitaire, feel free to write Nick/Charlie and any other canon ship in Oseman-verse)

I’m open to any rating, and do not mind smut, as long as it takes into consideration the DNWs. 

This is an odd note, but relevant to writing Chinese characters: I don’t mind if you write characters' names as, for example, “Qiao Jing Jing" or “Qiao Jingjing”. You will see even in this letter I use the two forms interchangeably. But please avoid “Qiao JingJing” with capital letters in the middle of the word. 

For most of these fandoms I have requested any character, however below are some prompts that may include some specific characters. Please feel free to take these as just suggestions, and tweak the combination of characters, remove or add characters as the story requires. If you have any other idea you want to write, feel free to run with it and you don’t have to stick to these prompts. 

Now to the fandoms!

你是我的荣耀 | You Are My Glory (TV)

Characters requested: any

Fandom specific DNW: infidelity

This is a 32-episode Chinese drama (Viki, Amazon Prime, Youtube) based on the novel by Gu Man, translation available here. If you are unfamiliar with the drama and don’t want to spend 20 hours watching the drama (though obviously I highly recommend it!!), reading the novel might be quicker as it is an easy read.

What I love about this drama is the heart-warming romance featuring two emotionally mature characters who, despite knowing what they want out of life, still struggle with the high demands of modern society. Reconnecting over 10 years after high school, they learn to appreciate, love and support each other for the people they have each grown to be, and build a life together based on trust and mutual support. 

Since the original novel and the drama make heavy use of things like chat transcripts and Weibo messages etc, feel free to also incorporate this into your fic.

For the fic: I love Yu Tu and Jing Jing, both individually and as a couple, so anything about them goes. I love slice of life and the romantic fluff vibe of the drama and would love to see more of this.

Some prompts:

- The drama and novel take place mostly from Jing Jing’s point of view, but Yu Tu actually undergoes enormous emotional highs and lows throughout the drama, from his feelings about his career to his feelings about Jing Jing. I would love to see some canon scenes written from Yu Tu’s point of view, especially regarding how he gradually changes his perception about Jing Jing and how his feelings for her develop over the course of coaching her the game.

- The first meeting between Jing Jing and Yu Tu’s mother, and Yu Tu and Jing Jing’s parents both took place for less than five minutes and played mostly for laughs in the drama. Since they both have busy jobs and likely only go home about once a year during lunar new year, when is the second time they actually, properly meet each other’s parents? How do these meetings go? Beyond his mother being starstruck, how do Yu Tu’s parents actually feel about their son dating someone as famous as Jing Jing?

- Once the shock settled, how do Yu Tu and Jing Jing’s high school classmates react to this couple? How does the gossip spread around to the rest of their class? How did Xia Qing eventually hear about it and how does she react?

- Money is sort of a pink elephant in Yu Tu and Jing Jing’s relationship. It’s one thing for Yu Tu to be okay with knowing that Jing Jing will always earn ridiculously more than him, but how do they navigate this in their relationship when they are dating? After they got married? What if his mother did have some serious health issue that he is unable to pay for?

- There’s a lot of fourth-wall leaning commentary in this drama about Jing Jing’s acting career, since Dilraba is pretty much playing herself. The drama also opens as she turns 30, which is a weird point in a Chinese actress’s acting career since she would have at this point gathered enough experience to mature as an actress but lead roles for women in their 30s, playing characters that are age-appropriate, are scarce and start to dwindle rapidly at this point. So how does Jing Jing manage her acting career in her 30s and 40s and what are some challenges she might encounter?

- It’s mentioned that Jing Jing won a best actress award about a year after she and Yu Tu got together. Obviously keeping their relationship low key meant that he didn’t go to the award ceremony with her. It would be interesting to see all the behind the scenes of that scenario. Alternatively, how do they manage to keep their relationship lowkey despite Jing Jing’s fame? 

- The drama skips 5 years right after they got married, so a fic filling in the gaps, showing how they transition from dating to being married would be interesting.

- I’d love to see Jing Jing accompany Yu Tu to some university reunion and meet his more snobby classmates like Qu Ming who looked down on his career choice.

- What actually happened at the dinner when Jing Jing met Yu Tu’s colleagues? 

卿卿日常 | New Life Begins (TV) 

Characters requested: Zhao Fangru (New Life Begins), Hao Jia (New Life Begins), Dong Hai Tang (New Life Begins), Yin An's Solar Term Ladies (New Life Begins)

This drama is set in a fictional version of ancient China. The world within the drama is divided into 9 states, each with its own culture and social systems. The drama is about a young woman who comes from a state where monogamy is the norm, to the most powerful ruling state Xinchuan where men have many wives and concubines, where she is chosen to be concubine to a supposedly obscure prince. The story also features many stories of friendships between different women who marry into the state of Xinchuan and how they help each other navigate life . You can watch the drama on Youtube.

Of course what I love best about this drama is the many supportive friendships between different women. Feel free to include any of the requested characters in any combination and/or leave any of them out as you wish. 

Some prompts: 

- I absolutely love how Zhao Fangru and Hao Jia’s relationship goes from rivals to uneasy allies to friends. I would love to see the progression of this relationship after Yin Song’s exile and they don’t say goodbye. Domestic life co-parenting Changle? Working together to develop Hao Jia’s business? Traveling the world together? Feel free to write them as a romantic ship or not! 

- Who was the first of the Solar Term Ladies to enter Yin An’s household and what was the initial relationship with Haitang like? How did they discover/come to the conclusion that they weren’t rivals and become friends? How was life different when it might just be 2-3 of them, compared to where we are in the drama with nearly 20 of them? How do they develop their different ways of coping with life with Yin An? I enjoy the comedic way the drama portrays their lives with Yin An, but feel free to go a more angsty route. E.g. how do the Solar Term Ladies feel about being given new names and their old identifies being taken away? What were their lives like before Yin An and how did they become his concubine? He seems too indolent to go through lengths to take them by force and it’s hinted that he sweetalked them one way or another. You can also focus on any or any combination of the named Solar Term Ladies if you want. 

- I’m also interested in Hao Jia joining the Solar Term Ladies at their restaurant and fitting into this new life. We meet Hao Jia as Li Wei’s friend and while she does become friends with the other women like Shangguan and Sisi etc but due to her life with Yin Song, she is also often isolated from the greater sisterhood. How does she adjust to her new freedom at the restaurant and how do the Solar Term Ladies support her? It takes a village to raise a child, and Changle definitely has a village - give me some simple domesticity at the restaurant!

- I’m totally open to any other idea you might want to write, involving any of the requested characters and/or any other unrequested character. I just love the female friendships in this drama so feel free to just go along that general theme! 

还珠格格 | Huán Zhū Gé Gé | Princess Returning Pearl

Characters requested: any

Watch on Google drive.

Some relationships I would read anything of: Xiao Yan Zi/Yong Qi, Xiao Yan Zi and Zi Wei’s sisterhood, father-daughter relationship between Qian Long and Xiao Yan Zi and/or Zi Wei. But if you want some prompts:

- Xiao Yan Zi/Yong Qi slice-of-life domestic fluff. Maybe early days in their marriage, including how does Xiao Yan Zi deal with the new responsibilities and expectations that must have been thrown at her as the wife of a prince? I don’t mind pregnancy/baby/children fic but don’t feel you need to go there if that’s not your thing.

- Daily life with Xiao Yan Zi and Zi Wei either before they enter the palace, or at Shu Fang Zhai. 

- What if Xiao Yan Zi didn’t actually get injured and mistaken as a princess? How would Xiao Yan Zi and Zi Wei keep in touch? How could Yong Qi and Xiao Yan Zi meet then and fall in love? 

- I would love to read a story about Zi Wei’s childhood, which must have been difficult because her mother would be a pariah for having and raising a child out of wedlock. What types of difficulties must Zi Wei and her mother have had to deal with? What guesses/speculations did younger Zi Wei have about her father?

- The drama doesn’t really go into Zi Wei and Yong Qi’s relationship, and it sort of always feels like Yong Qi and Zi Wei were more connected by Xiao Yan Zi than anything else. I would love an exploration of this sibling relationship beyond their relationship with Xiao Yan Zi. Maybe some sibling bonding on either the plain clothes inspection trip in season 1 or during their runaway trip in season 2.

- Some pre-canon stories of the characters would also be nice: any glimpse into Yong Qi’s friendship with Er Tai (and Er Kang, but honestly in season 1 it’s clear that he’s much closer to Er Tai than Er Kang) or adventures from Xiao Yan Zi’s childhood. Bonus if maybe Yong Qi and Xiao Yan Zi have met before in Beijing and they could either remember it later or not.

如懿传 | Ruyi’s Royal Love in the Palace (TV)

Characters requested: any

Watch on Viki

I’m mostly interested in Ruyi and Hailan’s relationship, so would love to see a fic exploring that. The relationship between them can be platonic or romantic/sexual, I don’t mind either way, but if it is romantic/sexual, I don’t want that to be portrayed as being a superior form higher than a platonic friendship.

Some prompts:

- The thing I love most about Ruyi as a character is her personal integrity, and the fact that she never compromises her morals even when it would probably save her a lot of pain. Alternatively, Hailan in the drama could have been portrayed as a lot more morally-grey, but the censorship sort of put a stop to that. I would love to see the dynamics/friendship/relationship between them explored, where Ruyi can be too morally upright and Hailan’s efforts to protect her over the years.

- It’s pretty explicitly stated in the drama/novel that Qianlong raped Hailan one day while drunk and Ruyi had to beg him to give her an official position as a concubine because Hailan would have killed herself otherwise. The irony of this relationship when in this story, Qianlong is also a child produced from the emperor raping a maid and casting her aside, is staggering and should be written about more. Alternatively, how did Ruyi deal with the idea that the man she loves did this? If you take this prompt, feel free to waive the dub/non-con DNW as long as the story doesn’t glorify it.

- I am also interested in deeper exploration of Yongqi as a character and his relationship with Ruyi, especially when it grows complicated towards the end of the story. His political ambitions and his insecurities stemming from not actually being Ruyi’s son obviously conflict with his affection and respect for her. Do his insecurities come from witnessing the relationship between his father and the empress dowager, who is also only Qianlong’s adopted mother? How does he manage these feelings? If you write this prompt, and can manage it, I would prefer a light focus on Hu Yunjiao, if you have to mention her at all.

- I would like to see how Hailan copes after Ruyi’s death, and how her relationships with other women in the harem, especially with Xiangjian, Meiruo and Chen Wanyin (Wan Pin) change. After Ruyi dies, Hailan really would only be second to Wei Yanwan in the harem, so how does she use that power in the harem, especially during the years when Wei Yanwan was slowly losing her mental capacity?

- On a lighter note, I would love to see any domestic scenes of Ruyi and Hailan co-parenting Yongqi when he was a child.

知否知否应是绿肥红瘦 | The Story of Minglan (TV) 

Characters requested: any

Fandom-specific DNW: infidelity in Gu Tingyu/Minglan, Changbai/his wife, Rulan/her husband.

Watch on Viki.

 Things I would love to read about for this fandom:

- Exploration of Minglan’s thoughts and feelings for Gu Tingye before their marriage, and her growing feelings for him after their marriage. Obviously she starts out already counting the days when he might stop loving her, but does she realise at any point that she has come to love him/completely trust him?  Given her low expectations of love and everything she had witnessed all her life, how does she deal with that feeling? Does she have a moment of realising he is not like her father?

- Exploration of the relationship between Minglan and Hualan. Alternatively, Rulan is portrayed as more benign than Molan when they were growing up, but Rulan’s actions can still be quite harmful to Minglan when they were younger. An exploration of the maturing sisterhood between Rulan and Minglan, especially if Rulan could be portrayed as more sensible than anyone actually gives her credit for, would be great. How does Rulan and Minglan’s relationship mature after they got married?

- On that note, how is Rulan’s attitude to Minglan so different than how Changbai and Hualan treat Minglan? Is it just because Rulan is the youngest of her full siblings so is more petulant? Is it because she’s closer in age to Molan and just projecting her frustration with Molan onto Minglan because it’s easier? I would love to see the dynamics/different characteristics between Hualan, Changbai and Rulan explored too. 

- Other sibling relationships I am interested in seeing explored: Changbai, Hualan, Rulan, Minglan in any combination. How do Changbai or Hualan get roped into helping Gu Tingye win over Minglan? How do they feel about it? Domestic scenes/any noodle incident with Hualan and Changbai helping/protecting Minglan against their mother/Concubine Lin/even agaisnt Rulan? 

- I love Changbai and Tingye’s friendship/found family dynamics and would love to see more of it in any form. 

Solitaire - Alice Oseman 

Characters requested: any

As indicated above, ignore the “more M/F and F/F, less M/M” preference above for this fandom. Feel free to write as much or as little Nick/Charlie for this fandom as you want. 

I just discovered this novel after binging through Heartstopper, both the show and the comics. In the spirit of keeping this Solitaire-relevant and not just veering completely off to the wider Heartstopper-verse, here be some prompts:

- I am so fascinated by Nick and Tori’s interactions/relationship (friendship?) with each other. Tori trusts Nick as much as she could trust anyone under the circumstances with Charlie’s emotional and physical wellbeing, but how did that trust develop? Did they know each other at all before Nick and Charlie got together through some Truham/Higgs event/activity, or did they just meet because of Nick and Charlie? I would love to see scenes of interactions between Nick and Tori, maybe just as Nick was hanging around the Springs’ home, or during Charlie’s inpatient treatments. How did Nick and Tori support each other during Charlie’s treatment? Did they have further conversations after Charlie’s relapse during the Solitaire novel? Do they bounce ideas off each other on how to support Charlie? 

- It’s clear that it’s not just Tori and Charlie who have mental health issues. Their mother has more than her fair share of it too, which probably contributed to making her children’s mental health worse. But the novel is also from Tori’s POV and she is so deep into her own mental health crisis that there are arguments to be made that her view of her parents especially her mother is not entirely accurate. Meanwhile Olly is in the middle of all of this - how much does he really understand about both Charlie and Tori’s issues and how much do his parents (if at all) explain to him? I would love an exploration of the Spring family dynamics as they all deal with their own problems while also looking each other though the lenses of their own experiences. I realise this is a tough issue and maybe too depressing for a Yuletide story but just throwing this out there. 

- Alternatively, just because you have a mental illness doesn’t mean it’s dementors all the time. There are flashes of light and carefree time. Give me so sibling fluffs with the Spring siblings including Olly and throw Nick and/or Michael in as well if you want. Trip to the beach? Park? Arcade? I don’t play video games so I don’t know how many people can play Mario Kart at once, but some insane Mario Kart tournament? 

- The only thing that I didn’t relate to Tori about is her views on Pride and Prejudice. I found this line from her essay particularly hilarious: “I am sorry, Mr Kent, but I have not read Pride and Prejudice. I disagreed with the very first sentence and that was enough for me.” - Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that for once the moody loner in a novel isn’t a bookworm, and in fact hates reading and books, but does she genuinely not realise that this line is satire? Does she truly think Austen believes it as well? Does anyone, e.g. Mr Kent, even explains to her that it’s meant to be tongue-in-cheek? Does Tori actually care or appreciate that? I would love a Tori take on Shakespeare because god knows she can’t go through English Lit A levels without reading Shakespeare. Considering Much Ado About Nothing also has a lot of sarcastic humour and has a very similar plot to Pride and Prejudice, what’s Tori take on this? Or Romeo and Juliet’s romance? Hamlet’s brooding? Feel free to go fully academia and write an in-universe essay if that’s your thing.

- How does Tori continue to deal with mental health and relationships after Solitaire while transferring to Truham, while knowing everything that’s happened was because of her? Do Charlie and/or Michael and her girl friends help her through this? 

- What’s Tori’s deal with diet lemonade? Is this also some food/drink-related control thing that she shares with Charlie or does Tori just likes it to the point of never drinking anything else? 

~*~

Thanks for reading this really long letter!! Again, if you have your own idea that you’re dying to write that doesn’t have any element from the DNW list, feel free to write that too! Happy writing and I can’t wait to read your story! 

[typhos-c-dragon]

these movies fascinate the hell out of me because like. i've never seen them in their full uncensored glory, i'm not sure if i could even stomach watching them with how ludicrously gross and gorey they are (haven't watched enough horror movies yet to figure out my tolerance for movie gore, all my exposure to the terrifier series has had the Big Scenes heavily blurred bc youtube stuff). but like, damn, these weird little indie movies really made it, huh? and they did it while staying indie? and created an iconic modern horror villain in the process? wild.

was supposed to go get a job today, now i'm watching a 5 and a half hour video about terrifier

[cupofearlgreytea]

gay people can’t just ask someone out, it always has to be something like “NO! i need you! there’s no one equal to me. no one but you! it’s overwhelming bearing all of this devotion. i never wanted your place, i only wanted you!”

[thecultofmalcom]

So. Its out. This is obviously pretty awesome sauce (sorry not sorry jas) and like.

wow.

so it started, middle/late 2011, almost 12 years ago. Some silly little university kids making a stupid horror puppet show. Becky Sloan and Joseph Pelling, creating Dont Hug Me Im Scared. What a way to start of the 2010s huh.

After a series of short videos, created for the Kickstarter, the sequel was created. Tony The Talking Clock was he spectacle of 2014 tumblr, eventually winning the most coveted title a fictional outcast could probably get, ‘Tumblr Sexyman.’ The fandom at this time was WILD, with the whole IceHell genre and the ‘Paige x Tony’ fanatics. Not to mention that kids react video.

At this same year, my personal skrunkle scrimblo came around. The Love Cult was introduced by the ringleader Shrignold, worshipping a stone who they fed gravel. Nobody knows why or how the living FUCK they managed to start a cult like this, but here we go. This was the first time the gang was seen outside, and this circled around Yellow Guy (whos a pig??)

Along comes 2015, introducing the absolute LEGEND, COLIN. THE. COMPUTER. Legend in the making, stupid self absorbed fucktwat, and the computery guy!! Also, the outro was a bop. By now, the DHMIS community had grown a fanbase, the watch count of the series so far over 3 Million!!1!

AND NOW. THIS IS WHEN SHIT GETS REAL!!

dhmis five. the talking point of every internet kids trauma. This episode was about being helfy!,2 Joined by the silly goofy Healthy Band, duck guy and yellow (red guy, whered he go?) learned all about why you shouldnt eat food from a strangers plate!! What made DHMIS special was its unsettling gore, which was shown perfectly in the scene where duck gets his. organs took out! graphically! Awesome!

then the finale came. dhmis 6, 2016, 6. years ago now. 6 whole years. introducing the harsh reality of the real world, the absoloute CHAD which we call Larry, Lars, Larson, Lamp Guy, THE LAMP1!11 Teaching (drunk, on drugs, sleep deprived, who knows?) yellow guy all about the wonderful dreams you can have, including eating a drink, buying a hat, losing your friends and drowning in oil of course! This episode was what made this whole puppet show a real nightmare. skrunkle yellow guy gets (unfortunately) mind-tortured by all the teachers, including the saxaphone. still really wanna know how to buy a canoe. At the end, we finally found out who was the brains behind all of this, none other than yellow guys DAD himself, ROY. This is why, perhaps, this whole fever dream nightmare was based around June 19th Fathers day. This is what, we all though, the end was. 5 years of youtube wonder, Becky Joe and Baker created a phenomenon that shocked the internet in perhaps a million different ways. But the positive feedback was overwhelming, woohoo!

By now, the improvement was MASSIVE. as shown below :

And now. This is when we all thought it was over. Until 2 years later, in 2018, all hope was lost. Until those 2 words,

WAKEY WAKEY!!

this was a 30 second short trailer for the DHMIS Pilot, showing at the 2019 Sundance film festival!

This is where it gets a bit weird, because not only is the original Wakey Wakey deleted, the full thing was never shown anywhere else. the only surviving footage of this was the bad quality pirated videos , with those 2 girls laughing thunderously in the background. A new sexyman, MEAN STEVE (🤤, sorry not sorry) WAS INTRODUCED! WE ALL WANNA SEE HIM IN HIS FULL METAL STICK GLORY! But nah we didnt get that. We didnt get a show, which we all because suspicious of.

well. thats what we thought.

2020. the year of the corona. no hope, isolation. until a lovely woman named Becky Sloan posted a lil thing on her instagram. ‘Were making a tv shooowwww! 📺👀📺👀📺👀📺👀’ AND THIS IS WHERE IT GOT WILDER AWESOMER EPICER!!! WE WAITED AND WE WAITED AND WE FINALLY GOT SOME CONFIRMATION! THIS WAS AWESOME! it got picked up by a charity project by the name of BFI YAC,, hoping to pick up on small industries work! AND IT DID!

time went by, still no show. we all thought it was over, cancelled, whatever.

2021 ROLLS PAST.

FILMING WAS WRAPPED! IN THE TIME WE WERE ALL GRIEVING AT THE THOUGHTS OF NO TV SHOW, THEY WERE WORKING ON IT THE WHOLE TIMEEE!!

‘WAKEY WAKEY’ as the fandom called it at the time, was coming!

now we wait. until FEB 25 2022. They finished the final sound recording. It was all done, we were all waiting for that special day, June 19th

, Fathers day. , 3 months ago.

and what did we get?

FLY.

THE TRAILER FOR THE NEW SHOW, PREMIERING CHANNEL 4 IN SEPTEMBER!! OH !EM GEE!

Now, we were all anticipating for the new series, we waited EXTREMELY PATIENTLY for this, 4-5 years no less. Honestly we shoulda won an award for the most patient fandom at this point.

SEPTEMBER 2022!

WE GOTTA GET THINGS READY FOR THS BIG DAY! BIG DAY! THE TRAILER WAS OUT! COMING SEPTEMBER 13TH!

but then, disaster struck! ohh no!

HRH Queen Elizabeth fell ill and kicked the bucket. Obviously , this meant not only is the country in ruins now lol! (fuck liz truss basically) But the show (we thought) was in jeopardy! (not really) The 10 days of mourning began, and the All 4 Website announced that the show would be slightly delayed, but coming this month.

THIS MONTH! NOW! FRIDAY 23RD, 2022. THE BIG DAY HAS ARRIVED! 6 SHINING BRAND NEW EPISODES, PREPARED FOR THE BIG TV DEBUT FRIDAY 30TH SEPTEMBER!

THE IMPROVEMENT, BY NOW WAS STUNNING AWESOME EPIC!! LOOKLOOKLOOK!

this new series, which is 1 day old!! fresh new awesome! is AMAZING! 3 WHOLE HOURS FULL OF OUR FAVE TRAFFIC LIGHT TRIO!

(Yes. we know, you still find red guy sexy.)

(AND COLIN. AND THE LAMP. AND A BIT OF TONY TOO!)

JUST THREE OF THEM! CLAYHILL HAD, UNFORTUNATELY, SHRIVELLED UP OR SOMETHING! (I RECKON)

this was obviously a sign that Wakey Wakey is now Lost Media. But we got this! all thanks to that one silly dumb stupid epic 3 minute long short on youtube, made by 2 people, in their free time, DONT HUG ME IM SCARED!

This post is basically, appreciation for Becky Joe and Baker, and the fandom, and everyone who helped in the making of this phenomenon!

Along the way, we’ve encountered our askblogs, most notably @sketchbook-and-tony-adventures !! And the awesome, probably most noted artists of DHMIS tumblr, the epic awesome amazing @amii-stuff @frootrollup? whats the username again? @hecklefreckled & @bernold ! Obviously more as well but i honestly dont remember the usernames :/ And our epic news sharer @creative-time !! Thanks you guys! And some awesome others, like @creechurfoundincheckerboardvoid @dhmispaint and the bezzie mate @xzumichannn !! Woohoo! Thank you guys so much, without this crazy massive fandom, we probably wouldnt have even got this far, crazy right!

So far, the best moments of this 2011-2022 era for me have been

- ‘Where are all you nasty clockfuckers! did you finally fuck that clock?’

- Sketch has a small face

- LisWeegee Adventures In Lurning dubs

- Whoever the heck that spanish dhmis gacha person is!

- That one ‘No bitches’ meme with shrignold :

- My amazing askblog i could never be bothered to do!

- Whoever that tiktok guy is

- “FREELANCERS DESERVE TO DIE!”

- Money Man. Deserves to be a sexyman fr!

- “BYE GUYS! I LOVE YOU!”

- Hearing the first few seconds of the first episode intro. those bells man. something, a feeling im never gonna feel again. ever. something i could experience only once.

The only bad thing. LAMPS SOBERED UP?? WHERED THE DRUGGIE INSOMNIAC VOICE GO?

Anyways. I love yall your all awesome, were finally trending on tumblr again, and we all have worms in our brain!

What have we got to look forward to now?

- DELTARUNE NEW CHAPTERS, 2023? The finale will probably be ready for 2027…

thats literally it. sorry. Hazbin Hotels coming to tv? i guess? lol.

this is obviously a national highlight of 2022 🥱 well no. Its internationally an internet milestone. duh!

LONG LIVE DHMIS!!

[therealvinelle]

I’m almost afraid to ask, but what are your thoughts on Hellsing? Any heretical takes? Why do you prefer the first anime over the OVA?

It's one of those things that are so obvious to me I wouldn't even know how to explain it. The Hellsing anime is just better, plain and simple, the animation, the script, the plot, the OST, the voice acting, the characters, all of it.

I don't like a single thing in the Hellsing OVA, it's rare that I am purely negative towards a thing but that OVA had no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Here, for art, script, and voice acting comparison: the Valentine fight scene in the anime, and in the OVA.

It's been years since I watched either of these, and I actively repressed memories of the OVA, so doing a more detailed comparison is tough. However, Seras Victoria's transformation is an example I think says it all.

The situation in both is this: Seras Victoria is a policewoman who gets captured by a vampire that uses her as a body shield. To kill the vampire, Alucard must shoot his bullet through her.

In the OVA, he asks her if she's a virgin. Then he shoots, and explains as she lays gurgling on the ground that he had no choice but hey, you could become a vampire if you wish. Clip

In the anime, he explains this to her, and then asks if she wishes to live on as a vampire. She says yes, and he fires his gun. Clip

To me there's just no comparing the two scenes (in more ways than script! Look at the art! It's so good in the anime! Then look at the generic horribleness in the OVA!). One affords her agency in that final moment, lets her calmly say "Yes." and the other... doesn't.

The anime goes on to focus on Seras Victoria's character development and how she adjusts to her new life, as well as her oddly sweet mentor/student relationship with Alucard. She's a person in the anime. The OVA makes her a part time tentacle monster with a terrible love interest, because the value they place in her is how badass she is. Her moment of glory.

Oh, and I can't stress enough my distaste for how the OVA treated everything like a boss fight. And added sexual abuse to Alucard's backstory for no goddamn reason besides edginess. And characters making speeches that would go on for over five fucking minutes, speeches that in most cases could have been reduced to a single line. "I love war", there, done. And oh, some of those speeches were entirely dedicated to how badass Alucard was, I couldn't find any examples on youtube but they never failed to cheapen him.

You have the Roman Catholic Church, which in the anime is a rival organization with the same priorities, and in the OVA becomes bad guys who side with the nazi robots because hullo, evil.

The final boss fight of both anime and OVA is in the anime poignant, nothing beats the moment Alucard looks like he's lost and he uses his last bit of energy to tell Seras to save herself, but she carries his head with her anyway. OVA final fight was just... bosses being thrown at Alucard and then dying in increasingly bizarre ways. Old butler Walter went dark side and deaged into a sexy bad boy! And dies in some way I can't recall but I'm pretty sure it involved Alucard genderbending and putting on a nurse costume! Anderson gave up his humanity to win but turned into a tree instead! The nazis were swallowed up by a sea of blood and gore, I think! And instead of being derpy hilarity, I'm bored to tears!

Look, I'm just going to keep going. I absolutely loathed the Hellsing OVA, the worst thing about it is that it completely drowned the Hellsing anime. The fandom is impossible to track down because all the content is OVA, and season 2 is never happening because people want the OVA and that's the worst thing in the world because season 1 ended on a cliffhanger.

Final thing I'll say before ending the post: notice the absence of Integra in this post. In the anime, she's a fantastic character, a woman made of steel that I can believe could tame Alucard. She's indomitable, a truly extraordinary woman. Enter the OVA, and she's so generic and forgettable badass that I can't remember a single one of her scenes.

Just, the Hellsing anime, chef's kiss, it was beautiful.

Hellsing OVA, boo hiss.

@thecarnivorousmuffinmeta, got anything to add?

[shroom-n-doom]

Tagged by @vidar-inn-draumspaki 💕💖

Last song (listened too): glory and gore by lorde 🥺

Last film (watched): ratatoullie bc some guy on youtube said it was Pixar's magnum oppus and not a Lie was told

Currently watching: ... idk I started the season 4 of rick and morty last week maybe I should finish that

Currently reading: Fragile X syndrome in a male with methylated premutation alleles and no detectable methylated full mutation alleles, Hayward et al., 2019

Tagging: @pierresteban @ashfire005 @zombiek966 and anyone else who wants to!!!

[cortexifansquint]

                        matching pairings & annotations under the cut!

                                             Youtube (x) Spotify ( x)

Buffy / Cordelia / Willow

*  Cloud 69 // Lowell

I'm like dynamite / need a cheerleader / let me throw you down / while I look at her / I'm like "Oh my god / I think I need a girlfriend"

*  Crazy // Au Revoir Simone

you knew me, wanna love to lose and to lose again / seems we're either giving up or giving in / but, uh, you girls, you drive me crazy

Willow / Tara

* There’s a Girl // The Ditty Bops

there's a girl that you might know / she's a friend at least I tell you so / but it might surprise you to find / there's something going on behind the door

* Horizon // Luna Blake 

you tower over me / you are sky and I am sea 

* Truthfully // Lisa Loeb

truthfully, I really can't explain / I'm floating, I'm smiling again 

* Room // Palehound 

she comes over / growing like a clover / in my room / in my room

* Sugar in a Pie //  Erin McKeown

love me sweet like a sugar in a pie / kiss me deep with a dreamy little sigh

Faith / Buffy

* Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover // Sophie B. Hawkins 

that old dog has chained you up, alright / give you everything you need to live inside a twisted cage / sleep beside an empty rage / I had a dream I was your hero

* Hologram // Katie Herzig

I'm gonna let you down / gonna toss you around / gonna make you want everything you haven't found / I'm gonna hold your hand / then ask you to stand / ten feet away

* Buy her Candy

she's a famous / she's the best / I cannot lay / my heart to rest / she is selfish / she is kind / no one can say / she is mine

* Nights with you // MO

I'll take you out tonight / leave it all at home / don't care about your boyfriend waking up alone

* Portions for Foxes// Rilo Kiley

'cause you're just damage control, for a walking corpse like me, like you (S6 Fuffy edition)

* Last 2nd Chance // Vaughan Penn 

this is the last second chance I’ll ever need / this is the last time you’ll hear sorry from me

Buffy / Cordelia-

* More like you // Hazel English

I could waste all of my time / thinking up ways to catch your eye / and I tried but it just didn’t feel right / and besides I'm just trying to get by

* She // Dodie 

and I'll be okay admiring from afar / cause even when she's next to me / we could not be more far apart  (late S1 - mid S2 coffy, either pov)

* Can’t / Naaz 

in my mind / I can be what we choose / but in life / we can't stand in those shoes

* Midway // Bad Bad Hats 

the shadows you were casting nearly swallowed the night /  but god, I could have kissed you (I imagine this as the night Cordelia drops Buffy home in Helpless or sometime in mid-late S3)

* Touch //  Shura 

I wanna touch you but I'm too late / I wanna touch you but there's history / I can't believe that it's been three years / now when I see you, it's so bittersweet  (if either had showed up in L.A or Sunnydale after Buffy was resurrected)

Tara / Buffy

* If I Could // Sophie Zelmani 

If I could help you with /  this part of life you've got to live /  you could load your weight on me

* Our Eyes // Lucy Rose 

I'm alive / I feel it now / I never knew I'll find it on you / out of line we got ourselves / in a look, wait we are not fine / wait, you are not mine 

* Wire // Alessi Ark 

I'm tired of walking this wire / it keeps me awake for heaven sake / I was made for this girl / I feel lonely / my friends don't seem to know me / like i thought they did

Willow / Cordelia

* Upper West Side // King Princess

I can't stop judging every thing you do / but I can't get enough of you

* Then If I’m Weird I Want to Share // Tender Forever

people told me / that you're too sexy / you're too sexy for me / but actually I just don't care / I think it's bullshit everywhere

Buffy / Willow

* Loners // Maddie Ross

one night alone in the bookstacks / summer to make all the kids sad / next fall we're back in the corner / nice girls love kissing the loners

* Ray of Sunshine // Go Sailor 

yellow hair, fiery stare / nothing's right, 'cause she's not here tonight 

* Explosion // Zolita 

it's a mindless love affair / one hot mess of bleach blonde hair / I could kiss her but your lips taste better / you could kiss him but my words are sweeter

* Sweet Moon // Sundarta 

when the world is big and I’m alone / I call you and I am home

Faith / Tara

* Will You Be My Girlfriend // Alanis Morissette 

I guess I fall and you stay intact is that right? I guess you hear me and won't attack me, is that right? guess I reach out and you reach back, is that right?

* Not gonna Get Us // T.at.u 

soon there will be laughter and voices / beyond the clouds over the mountains / we'll run away on roads that are empty / lights from the airfield shining upon you (teenage runaway mehane)

* Love you Anyway // Jil Nisson & Marlene

I know what you've been getting / coz I sure got it too / don't, don't you forget it / the damage they do

* Walk The Line // Halsey

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine / I keep my eyes wide open all the time / I keep the ends out for the tie that binds / because you're mine, I walk the line

Willow / Amy

* Wherever We Are // Human Life

after the day we're chasing the sun / farther away the faster we run / feet on the ground our head in the stars / finding the sound wherever we are

* When We’re High // LP 

let’s swallow the moon and the stars / let’s wallow just right where we are

Amy / Faith

* Whiskey & Black Leather // Sapphic Lasers

some they want a girl next door / but that ain't what I'm looking for / I first saw your lips across the room / red like a blood moon

* Her Lover // Ally & Stevie 

she is like a cat in the dark / and then she is the darkness

* High Enough // K Flay 

don’t try to give me cold water / I don’t wanna sober up / all I see are tomorrows / oh, the stars were made for us

Cordelia / Anya

*  Only a Girl // Gia

soft touch, warm skin / nothing like my ex-man / slowly falling, I don't want my next man

* I Don’t Do Boys // Elektra 

I don't do boys, I just do girls / just do girls with style and class / I don't do boys, I just do girls / just do girls with kissable ass

Fuffy / Radison

* One More // Elliphant 

stay with me tonight / we can count the street lights / stay with me alright let's bring it all back to life (bad girls & smashed shennanigans)

Dark Willow / Anyanka + Darla / Drusilla + Lilah / Cordelia (Jasmine possessed version)

* Glory & Gore // Lorde

delicate in every way but one, / God knows we like archaic kinds of fun / chance is the only game I play with / baby, we let our battles choose us 

“ Your Lips are Red // St. Vincent

this city's red / this city's red from riding us into the ground / this city's black / this city's black from all the ashes in downtown

Willow / Anya

* Wishful Thinking // The Ditty Bops 

when the cold and lonely hours put your heart to the test / maybe I'll be the one that you like best (S7 Rosekins)

* The Happy Song // Kate Miccuci 

'cause isn't it nice to have the friends that you do? / and isn't it nice that the sky is so blue? / and isn't it nice to say "I love you"? (the cheery & matter -of-factly style of this song reminds me of anya)

Faith / Willow

* So-Called Str8 Grrrl // Gina Young

I think you want me / you know you want me / so why do you talk shit about me

* She’s so Lovely // The Butchies 

she's a rocker dressed like a killer / she's got lips like wine not sugar 

* Sum of your parts // Mary Lambert

I didn't know I was a phoenix till I learned how to speak / even with ashes in my mouth I was still born to breath / I wonder are you like me

* All I Want is To Be Your Girl // Holly Miranda

Well there's ghosts in the night and ghosts in my mind / and if we quit changing we'll be left behind / but I won't take another chance of screwing it up / so I stay where I am / but all I want is to be your girl

Buffy / Satsu

* Cliff’s Edge // Hayley Kiyoko

you turn me on / you lead me on / you got me on / a cliff's edge (satsu’s pov)

* One Night // Charlie XCX 

you are somethin’ special / twenty carats, solid gold / what we had was precious / but I had to let you go

Cordelia / Lilah

* Short Skirt, Long Jacket // Larkin Poe

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond / I want a girl who knows what's best I want a girl with shoes that cut / and eyes that burn like cigarettes

Fuffy + Willow / Kennedy

* We Might be Dead by Tomorrow // Soko

give me all your love / ‘cause for all we know / we might be dead by tomorrow

Kendra / Buffy

* Eleventeen // Kimya Dawson

you may feel strange, well, you are an angel / stuck in tight pants stuck at a high school dance / stuck doing people things not knowing you have wings

* Supergirl // Anna Naklab

you can see in her eyes / that no one is her chain / she's my girl / my supergirl

Cordelia / Faith

* Can I Say Baby // GIRLI 

can I say baby? / I don't wanna be soppy / but I like your style / think you're kinda cool / I'm sort of into you

* Rebel Girl // Bikini Kill 

rebel girl rebel girl / I think I want to take you home / I want to try on your clothes

* Flowers and Rope // Princess Nokia

voices in my head, monsters under my bed / I'm alone again, I lost all my friends / wanna play pretend? hope this never ends

Fred / Faith

* Whiskey // Nicole Reynolds

you accept that i talk too much / i accept that you talk too little / but it's fine / i like a good riddle

In the Margins // Ani Difranco

you are a rare bird / the kind i wouldn't even mind / writing in the margins of my books

Willow / Kennedy

* Pretty Girl // Hayley Kiyoko 

I can tell you’re real smart / world class piece of art / I can see you in the dark / all we have to do is start

* Let it Go // Allie Moss 

darlin' you see / the fear in me / and how I'd finally be / if I were willing to let it go

Buffy / Anne

* Annonymous Club //  Courtney Barnett 

let's start an anonymous club / I'll make us name badges with question marks

* Hideaway // IVY 

under stars and satellites / a thousand miles / from where we've been

Willow/Fred + Buffy/Tara

* I Was Made for Sunny Days // The Weepies

I was made for sunny days / and I was made for you

Faith / Kennedy

* Crimson and Clover //  Joan Jett & the Blackhearts 

ah, now I don't hardly know her / but I think I can love her

“ Honey // Kehlani

I like my girls just like I like my honey; sweet / a little selfish

Cordelia / Fred

* Genius // The Murmurs

she's kinda weird / she's kinda freaky / but I don't know / I think she's a genius

* There she goes // Sixpence None the Richer 

there she goes / there she goes again / racing through my brain / and I just can't contain / this feeling that remains