#wasnt sure i was gonna make it a romantic fic and then it just happened

[doyouevenshipbr0]

borderline illiterate gruvia think piece.

happy gruvia day i guess!

so like…… im a grown woman. so believe me when i say at this point i rly couldnt care to be genuinely bothered by antis. like i will literally just block them lmao. ok yes i did write a whole fic revolving around a comment by an anti KFHDKSJWJEDK but i rly wasnt mad i was just genuinely inspired by what they said.

ANYWAYS! nonsensical 294820381002 word rant incoming from the “unbothered” grown woman.

seeing people say how gray is out of character in 100 yq/has stockholm syndrome are literally missing the entireeeee point of his and juvia’s relationship and its crazy!!

*side note, i think for the sake of helping gray’s character and development, they sacrificed a lot of cool things about juvia and a lot of her individuality which i do not like. but thats a rant for another time. btw do notttt even come for me bc she is literally still by far my fav character lmao*

im probably gonna go on for too long about this but gray’s whole fucking character throughout the whole story from beginning to end is centered around the fact that hes cold and closed off and grumpy and “too cool” and listen im not saying this is fucking rocket science or any type of transcendent literature by any means but i HAVE to point out that hes a fucking ice wizard. like. duh. im sure his character/personality was meant to go along with abilities i mean look at literally EVERYONE else in fairy tail.

ANYWAYS the reason he is this way is because he’s so used to losing all of the people he loves and even worse, hes used to so many people sacrificing themselves for him.

and it traumatizes him!! so many people hes been close to have died and he ultimately always thinks its his fault! lord knows im rusty with ft knowledge but his parents died (cant remember if it was in any type of sacrificial way teehee), Ur sacrifices herself for gray, ultear sacrifices herself for gray, and his dad dies AGAIN (once again, not sure if this was in a sacrificial manner lmao. i kindaaa think it was? maybe? shrug.). but POINT IS! theres a common theme of loved ones dying and/or sacrificing themselves for him. there might even be more people lmao idfk.

so what happens when he meets a girl who has an overwhelming and unwavering and infinite love for him?! he is freaked the fuck out!!! for a couple reasons! 1. he is so used to losing the people that love him and 2. he doesn’t even think hes deserving of any love to this degree!

then what happens? he PUSHES HER AWAY! KEEPS HER AT A DISTANCE!!!! because THATS ALL HE KNOWS!!!!!!!!! yes he has his friends who love him but no one has ever loved him in the way and abundance that JUVIA DOES! so he has to react appropriately! lots of love = lots of keeping her at an arms length!

so when he thinks he loses juvia in their fight with invel, and she comes back, dont we think it would make sense that he finally realizes he should accept his feelings for her? i mean remember when he said he promised her an answer AFTER the war? once again, like gray, pushing things off. and then he almost LOSES HER without ever telling her how he feels! so gray realizes life is short! theres no use in trying to deny ur feelings! these are common themes in like 85% of my gruvia drabbles lmao.

im not even saying that it was love at first sight for him and that gray liked her from the jump. bc i dont think thats true. i think we can finally see outward romantic feelings for juvia right after the tartaros arc, when juvia visits gray at his parents’ grave. but before that, i think juvia was a friend (wellll i feel like after the tenrou island arc he liked her more than a friend, but he didnt really realize how much more) who he cared about, and truly didnt know what to make of her because like i said, hes never known a person to love him so much and actually not die LMAO.

but my point is, juvia is the perfect person to be gray’s romantic partner. she is a person so full of love and so happy to love and she doesnt care who knows it. she is unequivocally herself and she wears her heart on her sleeve to the upmost extent.

it literally only makes sense for his character to end up with her!

u could argue gray doesnt need to end up with anyone at all bc he has his friendsssss and likeeee. sureee. fine. but what fun is that? i personally want to see the scared-of-love grump to find his person. i think, again, thats kind of the point of gray’s character- learning u are worthy of love, accepting love, and learning to love openly.

im sorry but literally what better happy ending for him than to be with juvia?

so fast forward to 100 yq, where he is just sooooo out of character apparently. dont we think that may actually be…. character development?

the boy who probably couldn’t even fathom a romantic relationship is now finally accepting he’s in love. he’s done pushing it off, he’s done denying, he’s done depriving himself of feeling love. thats a step in the right direction! now what? in true gray fashion, he thinks hes still not good enough! and that’s where we are now. he’s not confident, he thinks he’s weak, and he thinks he cant protect her. why? he knows she loves him. he knows he’s objectively a strong wizard. so why does he feel inadequate? CIRCLE BACK!!! TO WHO GRAY IS AS A PERSON!!!! SINCE DAY ONE!!! constantly in fear of losing his loved ones! thinking he can’t protect them! SCARED TO LOVE!

like im sorry the proof is soooo in the pudding and i totally understand if gruvia isn’t ur cup of tea but to say things arent making sense is silly to me! they actually make perfect sense!

and yknow what. im gonna go from a romantic standpoint to a realist standpoint. years ago, mashima said he likes gray and juvias dynamic and didnt have anything serious in mind for them anytime soon. so he kept that going for literally the entire series. well. he ended fairy tail alluding to the fact that gray and juvia were kinda together at that point. or he at least ended it with the pretty obvious conclusion that gray does in fact have feelings for juvia. so then when ft 100 yq starts what was he supposed to do? act like all of their development in the last arc never happened? that would be kinda hard to do!

whatever i just hope at least like 3 of these sentences were coherent lmao u guys get my point

[hydra-collector]

worthless

AO3

Pairings: Loceit

Characters: Logan Sanders, Janus Sanders, Roman Sanders (mentioned)

TW: cursing, self-deprecation

Words: 2088

Summary: Logan is overworking himself to very unhealthy amounts. Janus steps in to help.

Note: Sorry for the awful name. I had to come up with something.

You don't deserve emotions.

Logan was like most other college students. Overworked, tired, and bored. He always made sure he had work to do. He figured if he failed something big at some point, he'd have extra credit to fall back on.

And he was tired.

He was crying at the moment. He'd just finished yet another assignment and had three more he had to finish today. He'd asked for them. This was his fault, there was no one to blame but himself he knew he had no reason to cry; he'd asked for this. He didn't deserve to cry. He'd discovered he was unable to avoid the fact that he had emotions, but he didn't deserve them.

Or maybe he did. Maybe it was selfish to wish to never feel because he'd never have to cry. To spend every day exhausted and miserable. Yet, maybe it was fair because he knew he didn't deserve happiness. Maybe it was just the sadness he deserved.

His boyfriend and friends had tried to convince him to stop torturing himself. It wasn't torture, it was insurance. In case he fucked up like he always does at some point. It was worth a good grade.

He wanted this.

He was going to come out of this smart. He’d come out of every step of his education smarter. He needed to. If he wasn’t intelligent, gifted, praised, who was he?

Nothing.

Should it have been music? Was it intelligent enough?

He asked himself every day if he made the right choice. Music was an art, more in Roman’s vein of interests. Yet, he’d fallen in love with classical music. Was there something wrong with him? Should he be pursuing a science? Trying to discover more about Earth’s wonders?

He picked up his cello.

It was selfish, but he needed to distract himself. He was too lazy to finish his work, despite only having four hours to do so. After he did finish them, he’d probably be up until at least 3AM working on everything due tomorrow. He wanted a break.

It doesn’t matter what you want. It matters what needs to get done. You have to finish, or you’re worthless.

He sighed and put his cello back. That little voice was right, although he was pretty sure he was already worthless. He said he’d finish them at least an hour before the deadline, but look what happened. He’d need at least an hour for the first assignment, two or possibly longer for the second, and an hour or so for the third.

And it had to be perfect.

It was doable. He could get everything right and perfect, he could make all of his work his best work in four hours if he was good enough. It was never perfect, but it could be. It should be. He just wasn’t trying hard enough.

Coffee. He needed coffee.

He would’ve stretched if he thought about his well-being anymore. He left his dorm for a moment to make some coffee in the communal machine and have a bowl of yogurt, which was probably his third bowl today and the only thing he ate at this point.

“Logan, love. You look tired.”

“I’m fine, Janus. I can’t talk long, I have to get on this assignment.”

“How many assignments have you done today?”

He wrapped his arms around Logan’s torso from behind, kissing his cheek in the process. Logan wriggled out of his grip, spooning the rest of the yogurt in his mouth.

“You don’t eat it with Crofters’ anymore. I’m concerned.”

“Too expensive.”

“I’m buying you some tomorrow.”

Logan poured his coffee into a mug Janus had gotten for him, adorned with a bowtie and fez (although his boyfriend wasn’t sure he even remembered what Doctor it was referencing anymore). He waved his hand in a goodbye as he headed back in the direction of his room, (without kissing his boyfriend, Janus noticed) coffee in hand.

“I’d rather work alone, Janus.”

He followed Logan anyway.

When Logan got back to his room, he went straight to his desk. He’d wasted enough time already. His head hurt, but he didn’t have any pain medicine. He was tired, just trying to keep his eyes open at this point. He was hungry, yogurt was not an adequate dinner. And he was exhausted. Not just from the lack of sleep and the normal kind of tired, but the kind of tired that comes from devoting all of your worth to something. Telling yourself it defines your usefulness, your worth, your meaning to other people. He’d keep working through it. He was never going to admit that to himself.

He didn’t deserve to acknowledge how he felt. He didn’t deserve to smile at things, for people to care about his pain. He didn’t deserve to get angry. It was always his fault. If he could keep working, maybe it could at least be his doing that he got a good grade.

 Stop debating your emotions and do your work. You worthless bitch.

 Worthless.

 Worthless.

 Worthless.

Something on his lap blocked his vision of the screen where he’d apparently been writing that word for a few moments. He wanted to see it again because it was true. A pair of lips- Janus’s- kissed him as his glasses were removed as well. He pushed his boyfriend’s face away, despite how much he wanted to kiss him.

“Janus, let me work.”

He instead dragged Logan’s rolly chair over to his bed and heaved him out of it. He squirmed, attempting to get free, but he’d already set him down and laid horizontally over his torso.

“Mandatory cuddle time. I don’t make the rules.”

“You’ve never followed a rule in your life, Janus.”

“But you have.”

Logan again tried to get up to leave, but his boyfriend only dispersed more of his weight over Logan’s chest, grabbing his neck and kissing him again. Logan gave up and hugged him back.

“Can I get back to work now?”

“Not as long as you think you’re worthless.”

 He saw that?

“I won’t be if I can just finish my work.”

“You’re setting your expectations too high for yourself. You don’t have to be productive to be worth something. In my opinion, you’re already worth more than the entire Earth.”

“That’s not- I’m not worth more than 8 billion people and almost 200 million miles.”

“You are to me. Cuddle time.”

“Okay, okay, maybe I’m not worthless-”

 You are.

“-but I told my professors I was going to get these assignments done. I can’t go back on that.”

“They’ll understand. They like me. I’ll tell them my boyfriend needs a break from all the work he’s been getting. Anyway, aren’t your grades already over 100% in at least two classes? They know you work too hard. And if they don’t believe me, I can get them… replaced.”

“No murder, Janus.”

“Does that mean you’ll keep cuddling with me?”

“At least let me do one-”

Janus kissed him, grabbing his face in the process.

“Sounds like a yes. Now shall we confront your problems with self-worth?”

“I don’t have problems with self-worth, I just recognize that I need to get my work done-”

“You think you’re defined by the work that you do. I know a liar when I see one, dear.”

“Do you want me to get all emotional and spill out my repressed feelings? Because I really don’t need any help with them, they don’t mean anything anyway. Kinda disa-”

He paused when he realized he was doing exactly that.

“That’s exactly what I want you to do. Why are you disappointed?”

He closed his eyes as Janus let go of him and brushed his hair out of his face. “No reason.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“I won’t kiss you unless you tell me.”

“Convenient, I won’t be plagued with more emotions than I already have.”

“I will kiss you until you tell me.”

Janus started attacking his face with kisses from the forehead down. He kissed his cheeks that had started blushing and his nose that he tried to turn away. He’d successfully rendered him helpless.

Almost.

Logan kissed him back in retaliation, grabbing his face instead so he couldn’t recklessly smooch anymore. He held his lips long, hoping it was enough to subdue Janus’s kisses for a while.

“I’d still like to hear about your emotions, L.”

“They don’t matter though.”

“We’re getting somewhere.”

“I only have two and a half hours left.”

“Please, Logan. I’m worried about you. Ignore your work. Focus on you. I can get you some ice cream to cope.”

“One, ice cream is very unhealthy, and two, I don’t have any reason to need to cope.”

Janus crawled off of Logan to grab his laptop, then came back to sit next to his boyfriend. He didn’t need to say anything, the screen said it all.

 worthless worhtles worhtles worthsles wothslss worthles worthlsess worhtless worhtlsss worhless worthless worhtlwss worhtlwss worhless worthless wothl

“You only stopped typing cause I sat on your lap.”

“I, I… wasn’t talking about myself.”

Janus deleted the paragraph and saved his document, closing the computer and setting it aside. He brushed Logan’s face gently.

“You’re crying Logan. I think you were.”

“I’m- I’m sorry, I- God I should stop crying.”

“Why?”

“I don’t deserve for people to care about me, I don’t deserve to show emotion. I don’t deserve anything but-”

He stopped himself from continuing.

“You do deserve that. And it’s okay to talk about how you feel. You can go ahead, I’ll listen.”

“I don’t deserve it, I don’t need it, I don’t w-”

He broke down.

The few tears turned into sobs. His back ached from sitting for so long, he was hungry and tired, so tired. Janus slid down from his sitting position to lay next to Logan and hold him. God, did he want to be held.

“I do want it. I want to tell you what I feel like but it’s so hard and- even I don’t understand.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to understand. I just want to help you, love.”

Logan took a deep breath. He gazed at Janus for a moment, then turned his head towards the ceiling instead.

“I think… I hate myself.”

“I hate myself,” he repeated.

“I hate myself, Janus.”

Janus pulled him close to his chest where Logan could bury his head in his boyfriend’s neck.

“I think that must be why I’m not satisfied with what I do. I’m not satisfied with myself, so I try to make my work perfect because I think that’ll make me perfect.”

“You don’t have to be perfect. No one is.”

“I’ve always been perfect. I can’t fuck up. I have to be able to work like a machine. I wish I was a machine, a robot, anything but human. Emotions- they get in the way. I need to be able to work. It’s all I’m good for-”

Janus took Logan’s hand with one of his own and turned his head with the other so he was looking at him.

“No. You’re you and that’s okay. You do what you can, what you want. And if what you want is to work and work and work, do that. But I don't think you want this.”

“But- it’s all I know.”

“...When, when you’re working this hard, all of the time, you start hurting yourself with it. And you’ve gotten to the point where you’re destroying yourself. You’re saying that living like this is what makes you you, but what I see is you… fading away. I miss you. You’ve become your work, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You haven’t had free time once this week. You’re hurting yourself. So much that you’re losing yourself.”

“I’m- am I hurting you? Am I fading away and hurting you?”

“Logan, I’m not who’s important here. You need to take care of yourself. You need to unlearn that you don’t matter outside of your work. You fading away is hurting you so badly, and yes, I hate seeing you so miserable, but you’re the one that’s hurting. I love you. I want you to be okay and happy. To do that, I want to help you break this awful mindset. You can be okay. You’re going to be.”

“How?”

“I’ll be there to help you learn. But first, we need to e-mail your professors to get rid of all this extra work.”

“I told them-”

“No. No extra credit.”

[incurablyromanticsblog]

Don't know how people are gonna feel about this but Loki should've been dealt with the way they dealt with Lucifer (from the Netflix show) I mean while the show straight up dismissed loki's feelings, lucifer netflix really showed us the natural and organic character growth with ups and downs while still maintaining the comic hilarity (WHICH WASNT AT THE EXPENSE OF THE MC). It's love interest and side characters are all original characters dealt as independent characters rather as brownie or plot points.

And the scenes that prompted me to think this?

1. Lucifer asking his Mazikeen to cut off his wings because he's moved past being a pawn in his father's 'Great Plan'. We could've had loki come to this conclusion and tell Mobius (who would've been an actual all out ally who was forced into doin lg what he did) that he no longer wanted any place in a land that hated him. (Once again like Lucifer calling the silver city hell)

2. Lucifer actually being the way he's supposed to be (angel of light, light bringer etc.) We could've had Loki act like the way he Actually Is. Not like how @iamnmbr3 so eloquently put it 'like larry the dumb lookalike'. We could've had Loki being stern yet having that air of sarcasm and wit that he had in his the films. His eloquence, his physical prowess (none of the falling flat on his face stuff, a lot of people talk about how he was trying not to hurt the people in ep 2 but srsly Loki would just immediately disarm them), and most of all his agency and refusal to cower or the pathetic attempts at lying.

3. Costumes. The lucifer netflix team had an extensive costume department that ironically pales in comparison to what disney is capable of but still we see Lucifer have a wide array of clothes and styles. Have Loki take the first chance to change his clothes. If he wants the 50s aesthetic have at it! he can wear the tuxedos and the nice leather. Or maybe change into some nice Viking-inspired leathers and battle armor. Have him as a pirate, or a knight or a cowboy. You're traveling through time good man! you can at least hit some of the cool spots.

4. In depth analysis of lucifer's mental health. the only episode of the Loki tv show I liked (loose term) is the first one cause it's the only one that gave a fraction of what we were promised: an insight into loki. That's it.

5. Lucifer's organic growth. This is self-explanatory. Loki watched one video and was good. Very good five stars. I understand that they only had six episodes but come-on. You could've had the subtle changes through out all the eps and lead to the big finish finally. With each episode focusing on certain aspects of Loki.

5. Lucifer's exploration of self-loathing. This deserves to be a separate point because Istg it was done so well. Basically lucifer messes up and he's faced with the hatred that's been conditioned into him (not unlike Loki) and then he learns what it is and actually tries to love himself. And not by kissing a female variant of himself (ew and also respect the gender fluid persons). He actually saw the good in him by reflecting and his actual good friends helping him.

6. Lucifer actually wanting to be good. Look Idc what shut mike waldron wrote, loki is not selfish when his whole arc has been doing things for asgard, thor, odin, frigga etc. We all know that New York was mind control, I do not know why it's being swept under the rug. But here's the thing, that self loathing I mentioned earlier is a huge part of Loki thinking he's some monster and intent on proving it.

7. Lucifer facing his 'devil-face'. Loki should've come to terms with his Jotun heritage. The TVA could've had a case in Jotunheim concerning the Royal Family and Loki could've seen the entirety of Jotunheim and it's people not just that most-likely war propaganda the Asgardians force-fed him. Maybe have him meet his siblings or better yet his mother. There's a very nice fic on A03 called Asgardian Galdr that deals with this beautifully.

8. Luicfer having a Breakdown and Crying: First off this happens gradually, his problems pile up etc etc. and he faces off his father and gets angry until he finally breaks down. And basically God says, "I'm sorry but i can't fix you," And Lucifer in all his grief and desperation asks, "But you're God,'. I know we talk a lot about Loki being made weak in the Show but that's specifically about him being made weak and helpless to make Sylvie seem like a stronger character (Don't get me started on the Sif and Narcissm scene istfg), But maybe seeing Loki try awkwardly to be good and near the finish of the show we see it blow up in some angsty way? only for some conversation like this to happen and have Loki understand that being good is something that is innate and something he already had the potential for all along. Maybe learn that he's not lawful good but as always the morally grey character we know him as. (Protector of misfits, god of outcasts i.e all the shit Marvel shat on) and rise as the God of Chaos and Stories against the rigid bonds of The TVA and essentially Kang.

9. Lucifer having a nice healthy romantic interest and relationship. Lucifer and Chloe's relationship is more often than not the main point of the show but no matter how much it is focused on it remains health, organic and not a weird allegory for something disgusting. Even if Sylvie weren't a Loki (once again ew) the whole dynamic was toxic. She constantly put him down, and invalidated his feelings (Sounds like Odin huh?) and guess what Loki fell in love with her after one day, one conversation of what love was and Mobius calling her his girlfriend (he also said that it was freakish and i agree). We could've had Sigyn sweet lord. (I'll make another post about this)

10. Lucifer's Sexuality. There is a whole episode in which Loki's paramours are getting murdered and they all vary from men to women to all that comes in between. And there's no shame, no offensive jokes. Have Loki flirt with dudes, i understand ms.karen that this is for children, don't worry the casual sex ;) was offscreen. Have Loki turn into a woman and flirt with woman cowards, maybe make some questionable remarks about horses (That make Sigyn laugh)

11. Lucifer's Powers: lemme sum up, Lucifer can, let's call it, use compulsion on people. He is known for his strength and prowess and abilites to grant favors. Have Loki shapeshift into animals, absolutely mauling people. Have him use his silver-tongue to coax people into making or changing history (Yes Brutus, Caesar is getting to be a bit much, say have you heard how sharp knives are?)

I'm pretty sure there's more that i can't remember rn. And here is one thing i would like to make very clear.

You are not bad for liking the show or hating it whatever. The problem is that the show framed a lot of bad things as good (Anything the TVA did, Mobius' torture session with Loki, the way Sylvie treated Loki only for them to become romantic partners, the Sylkie fiasco as it was offensive to genderfluid people and the bare fucking minimum of LGBTQ and POC rep). The show was also marketed specifically to make us think hey! Loki might actually be the main character only for it to blow up in our faces. We were also promised an actual plot rather than a constantly plot twisting concept that could've been worth something.

Also i'm still working on a Loki fic rn after which i will write a Loki(TV) Rewrite but unitil then ig.

[senseiwu]

Could I hear some of your ideas for that flower fic??

Hi, sorry for the delay!! Thought I should answer this on my laptop instead of my phone. 

I’m gonna put it under a read more, cause I know hanahaki can (understandably) make some people uncomfortable.

But because this is me, there’s a 99% chance you can guess who the poor main character is. I think the term for this type of thing would be canon compliant....? Mostly?

basically its onesided wusako 

probably started off with a bit of a cough some time before writing the letter, didn’t think much of it.

things only get worse as time goes on. soon enough wu’s dealing with a weird pain in his chest, a whole lot of coughing, AND the freaking war on top of it all.

garmadon announces that he and misako are seeing each other. wu still has not heard ANYTHING about the letter..... had he made a fool of himself? did she want to pretend like nothing happened? regardless, shes his friend, so hes happy for her and for garmadon, they seem so happy. 

its wu, so he doesnt say anything about it to anyone, not even when he starts coughing up petals.

peonies. misako’s favourite flowers. 

no one knows still, but those closest to him (like garm and ray) know something is up.

i havent worked everything out yet but eventually mystake figures out what’s going on; either shes seen it before long ago or maybe its a Thing that can happen to oni? who knows. not me. im just here for the angst and suffering. (sorry wu)

shes kinda pissed that it’s progressed to the point where hes coughing up entire flowers and sometimes blood and he hadnt said anything. he says it was because he was trying to find out what it was. 

when he learns what’s caused it, well..... he CANT tell this to misako, what if she felt guilty? he couldnt do that to her. and he thinks hes already told her his feelings, so there’s no point anyway. (remember, it wasnt til s4 when the Truth came out) 

the only non love related way to get rid of the disease is a tea mystake can brew - but in getting rid of the flowers in his lungs, ANY feelings for misako would go away, unlikely to ever return. had it just been romantic feelings, wu would have accepted this in a heartbeat. but she’s a dear friend.... if he could never be friends with her again..... surely there must be another way.......

i think at some point garmadon finds out from mystake and hes just ‘....i just wanted misako, not for wu to die....’ and shes like ‘what now’  and he gets scolded by his aunt djgagkljeioda 

i dont know what happens, how it all ends....... spark took over my brain before i could think of anything and its the only thing ive been able to think of since so i havent put much effort into this.... story? idea? even though i did all that research into flower symbolism before just deciding peonies are pretty, misako is pretty, i think some of the symbolism matched maybe. 

i forgot to mention but of course misako is here for her friend in his tough time. he definitely tries to hide it from her of all people. 

[brelione]

Love and Lies (JJ Maybank X Reader)

Word count:1562

Summary:JJ just wants to be appreciated.

Warnings:Mentions of sex, might make you sad.

Viv was JJ’s first serious relationship. He thought that he was ready for a relationship, that he was finally mentally stable enough to handle exposing himself to someone other than his friends. He gave her everything he had, listened to everything she said, and hugged her whenever she was feeling down. 

He had opened up about his home life and his insecurities only for her to become angry with him for not telling her earlier in the relationship. She ended things after that, the only person that made JJ feel safe was now missing from his life and she had all his secrets.

 He felt sick to his stomach as he walked to the Chateau from Viv’s house, tears streaming down his flushed cheeks. He felt ridiculous. He was silly to think that any girl would ever want him after he opened up to them. 

They only wanted the person that he pretended to be and now he was left with nothing but a broken heart. He was tripping over his own feet once he got in the house, noticing the van was gone. He felt safe to cry since he knew that his friends werent home, letting out a choked sob as he squeezed the doorknob. You sat up immediately, shocked at what was happening. “JJ?”You asked, coming into the kitchen. His heart dropped, turning around with shaking hands.

The next thing he knew he had collapsed in your arms, sobbing into your skin as you held him tightly. You still didn’t know what was going on, whispering to him as you rubbed his back. His ears were ringing, trying to control his breathing as he clung to you. 

“It’s okay, JJ.”You whispered to him, combing through his hair with your fingers. “No-no-no!”He choked out. “JJ, J, what happened?”You asked. He didn’t look up at you, figuring it would be less humiliating if you couldn’t see him. 

“Viv broke up with me.”He answered. You nodded, waiting for him to say something else. His ears were ringing, his vision clouded and everything just felt wrong. He felt like he was floating away from his own body, unable to feel your touch.

He didn’t remember you bringing him into your room, giving him another hug before telling him to get some sleep. That’s when he finally returned to reality, grabbing your hand. “Please...just….”He didn’t say anything, squeezing your hand.

You were stiff, his arms around you and his head against the back of your shoulder. You could feel his tears even through the material of your hoodie, squeezing his hand. He grinned a bit, taking in a deep breath. He was just glad that he felt safe, more grounded now.

He knew that it was a terrible thing to love you. He didn’t want to, he had never meant to. But with Viv out of the picture, he was starting to wonder if all the love he had for her was actually for you. He had always acted differently around you than the others but he figured it was just cause you were a girl in a group of guys.

But of course, Pope came after him and said that was bullshit because you weren’t the only girl in the group. But JJ always ignored him and his feelings for you. He knew that you didn’t care about him or like him outside of the way a friend should like somebody but he couldn’t help it. He knew that there was no way to win, it didn’t matter if he confessed his feelings or kept it a secret.SO he did what his instincts told him to do.

 It was a large boneyard party, John.B and Kie were handing out beers while JJ searched the crowds for you, a big grin on his face when his eyes finally met yours. He had gotten you away from the party, the two of you walking down the beach.

 You were dancing as you walked, skipping on the sand as he smiled at you. Once he figured the two of you were far enough from the party he turned to you, taking in a deep breath. “Oh god...what’d you do?”You asked, waiting for some bad news. 

“Um...okay.So...okay so basically…..okay-just hold on. Okay so for a while I’ve had a crush on you and um….well, I didn’t know how to tell you but I’m telling you now so...yeah.”He muttered. You were taken aback by his confession, not really sure what to do. If you were being honest you never looked at JJ like that.

You saw him as a close friend rather than someone that you’d want to have a romantic relationship with. But you couldn’t tell him that. Viv had already broken his heart and you didn’t want to hurt him again. If you hurt him he would have no one to go to. So you lied. 

You told him that you loved him, that you always had and always would. And of course, he believed you. You faked everything for weeks, afraid that you were in too deep. You couldn’t break up with him. He didn’t deserve that. You wanted to love him, you really did.

 He had taken your virginity, done things to you that you had never imagined. He took you on dates, let you wear his clothes, and slept in your bed. But still, you felt nothing. The two of you were laying in the hammock, his arm around your waist as the net swayed back and forth slowly. He pressed a few kisses to your neck, his hand making its way into your pants.

 You could feel his boner pressed up against your ass, your breath getting shaky. “JJ.” You muttered, his cool finger slipping into your underwear. “Shhh...just let me take care of you, babe.”He whispered into your ear, fingertips brushing against your clit. You shivered, head leaning against his shoulder. He leaned down, biting your shoulder lightly before kissing the skin he had bruised. 

He dipped a finger into you, moving slowly at first, his hot breath fanning against your neck. “I love you.”He muttered, the comment making you stiffen. Every time he said it you just felt uncomfortable. It made you feel guilty, gripping his wrist. He was confused, pulling his finger out of you and pulling his hand out of your pants, a frown growing on his face.

 “What’s wrong?”He asked, not sure why you had stopped him. You took in a deep breath, licking your lips. You didn’t know what to say, getting out of the hammock and going inside of John.B’s house, walking past Kie’s sleeping figure and into the bathroom. 

JJ sat up in the hammock, confused. You couldn’t do this anymore. You couldn’t lie to him but you didn’t want to hurt him, pacing around the bathroom. He knocked on the door but you ignored him, taking shallow breaths. He opened the door, staring at you.

 “Are you okay?”He asked, standing in front of the doorway. You didn’t know how it happened, the next thing you knew you were confessing everything. “And I cant- I can’t pretend anymore, JJ! I can’t do it!”You sobbed. He did nothing but stare back at you, searching for anything to tell him that you were joking, that you loved him. 

He shook his head, blinking. “You can’t- (Y/N)-I thought- why…...why’d you lie?”He asked, his eyes becoming glassy. You were speechless, taking in a shallow breath. “I don’t- I don’t….no, it’s just-I didn’t want to hurt you.”You whispered, choking on your own words.

 “You would’ve hurt me less if you just told me the truth! For weeks you just- you lied!”He exclaimed. “I didn’t think it’d get this far!”You shouted. The Pogues were all awake, listening in on the argument. “What’d you think was gonna happen? Fuck, you and Viv. I thought you were different!”He exclaimed. “I don’t know what you want me to say, JJ!”You replied. 

He stared at you for a few seconds, an unreadable expression on his face before he stormed out of the house, the screen door slamming behind it. You stood in the bathroom, hitting the wall before you walked out, bruises already forming on your knuckles. 

It wasnt until he had days without you that he realised how much he really depended on you. He was forgetting to do basic things. He forgot to brush his hair, put on socks before he left for work or even charge his phone. You found yourself feeling like you were fading away, like your soul had detached from your body.

 Kiara spent most nights with you, insisting that you at least call the blonde boy that you claimed you didnt love. You never listened though, shaking your head and telling her youd get over him eventually. 

Pope was desperately trying to bring you and JJ back together, reminding his friend that you had a ton of his clothes and bracelets and that he should go get them from you. Pope knew that if you guys were even together for a few seconds that you’d find a way to fix things, he just didnt know how to get you guys back together.

@nas-marie-loves-u​ @28cnn​ @sexytholland​  @yuxsh06​   @ifilwtmfc​  @cherryobx​ @poguestarkey​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​  @poguestyleskye @judayyyw  @sunwardsss @meaganjm @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @jj-fic-recs @homophobicclownmoviestan @jj-iz-bae @natalie-kate-98​ @negativity4you @nxsmss @ofmaybankheart​ @broken-jj​ @joshy-obx  @curroptbunnie @outerbnx-stiles @angelreyesgirl100  @hannahhh-marie @sadnessrehab @purple-vodka-99 @annmariek8 @harryswigss @imagines-07 @pink-meringues @outerbongs  @copper-boom  @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @deionswannabegirl​ @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee  @on-socks-off  @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @batcat46​ 

[majjiktricks]

For the character ask, Akiyama Shun

ohh man i was hoping someone would send akiyama... anon whoever you are, i love you ❤️

How I feel about this character bro i cant even begin to tell you. god. i fucking love this man. its really scary how hard i relate to him. probably my biggest comfort character rn. i cant tell if i would rather know him and like, be his best friend, or BE him. the gender envy alone has me insane. just thinking about him and things he might do has become a nice pass time for when im bored, especially while im at work.

All the people I ship romantically with this character as with most of the yakuza characters, i find myself enjoying a lot of the ships theyre involved in. ESPECIALLY poly ships. my brain is super focused on akiyama/kiryu rn tho; the pining, the devotion, willing to kill for the one you love... kiryu being totally oblivious, or pretending to be, until akiyama makes his feelings obvious... bro its so good... i also enjoy the ships w ryuji and shinada, and while i dont have many thoughts about tanimura, i think akitani is cute (mostly bc of ONE artist i follow on twt who makes a lot of good akitani art lmao). akiyama/majima just makes me laugh. make it kiryu/akiyama/majima/saejima all together tho and thats a perfect soup to me. i also really like akiyama/ryuji/kiryu inspired by ishin's storyline.

My non-romantic OTP/BrOTP for this character i NEED more content of him and haruka. the game literally sets him up to be another guardian figure for her. uncle akiyama... hes a total disaster about it but he cares about her so much and tries to do his best to protect her. i think it kind of extends from his devotion towards kiryu and protecting kiryu’s interests, but he also genuinely likes haruka and doesnt just think of her as this precious thing to protect the same way you might protect a valuable item or family heirloom. shes an actual person to him, whereas in some of the previous games, shes viewed by the other characters as just a device to manipulate kiryu. whether or not rgg studio wants to show us more of them i firmly believe they keep in contact. maybe even post y6 he helps out at morning glory 🥺 in terms of like. non-familial relationships though, i think akiyama and majima are fucking insane as buddies. just thinking about it makes me laugh. especially when you look at dead souls, akiyama tries so hard to seem cool next to the big scary yakuza men, and majima sees right through it and laughs at his face. i want more of them taking the piss out of each other, because i think once hes comfortable, akiyama could give just as well as he gets.

My unpopular opinion about this character not sure this is a hot take, because i think most people who put a smidge of thought into the series would agree, but i really hate it when people take these complex characters and boil them down to just a few simple character traits. while i get that thats one method to make it easier to write them in your own fic and stuff, i just find it kind of insulting. to the character and to the reader's intelligence. like okay sure, akiyama is shown to be lazy and impulsive and irresponsible, but thats not EVERYTHING about him. and theres nuance to those flaws that i think goes over some people's heads.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. i wish he had been in yakuza: like a dragon. evidently hes really important to the main story of rggo, and since y7 is kind of a retelling of rggo, i wish they had included him. (im still gonna play rggo to see whats different and to see how akiyama is involved, i just wish it wasnt so hard to access for someone who doesnt speak japanese 😅)

send me a character !

[parttime-creative]

Fanfiction tag game

Thanks for tagging me @dhwty-writes Even tho, this will probably be pretty disappointing ...

How many works do you have on Ao3?

0. Zero. Nada. Nothing. I enjoy reading on Ao3 A LOT. But i've never come around to actually publishing something there. I haven't published much of my writing in general.... The only ever fanfictions I've published are in german on the website fanfiction.de

So I'll be answering the following questions for that side instead.

What’s your total Ao3 word count?

66.588 of published stuff

... but there is probably another 500k of unpublished stuff somewhere in the dephs of my computer, notebooks and google docs :D (200k of them are partially @dhwty-writes ' fault)

what are your top 5 fics by kudos stars?

Well... thats hard because I have published barrely more then 5 fics xD. But they would be:

You don't need eyes to see (Again: GERMAN!) its a SwanQueen (Once upon a time) Fanfiction where Regina Mills goes blind after an accident with old magic and Emma Swan helps her navigate her new life. I write that thing since 2015. It was my second fanfiction, and I am not sure if I'll ever finisht it xD

The Handmaiden .... another SwanQueen one. Smut... its just a huge excuse for flirtatious smut

Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf ... more flirtatious SwanQueen Smut. I like that okay?

Lost and Abandoned ... SwanQueen Angst. Just Angst ... But I added a second chapter later ,that one could argue makes it Hurt/Comfort.

The Cerberus Agent ... I actually think its funny that that one is on this list. This is the first ever fanfiction I wrote, so it probably wasnt to shabby after all xD Its about Mass Effect (Miranda Lawson/FemShep) Tho I never finished it...

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Oh Yes! To every single one! I am way to happy about any little form of feedback, to not respond! I love comments! And people who leave comments!

what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Oooof.... I don't think, I can answer that. None of my fics really have endings. I mostly write One Shots, where the ending is basically the beginning of a bigger story. And my bigger fanfictions never got finished.... so I'd say the smutty ones have the happiest endings? I mean GET THE GIRL, GIRL!

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Ohhh, Definitly "Lost and Abandoned!" The whole premise of that Two Shot was angst!

do you write crossovers? Yes, sometimes. But none of them are published and several of them are Hogwarts AUs.

have you ever received hate on a fic? Not from all the lovely internet peeps that read my stuff, but IRL I've gotten weird looks. No explicit hate tho, and I am thankful for that. Let's hope it stays that way <3

do you write smut? if so, what kind? ....... yes....... I love flirtatious banter and power dynamics. So The literal dagger to the throught kind mostly (tho the dagger is often of verbal form tho) ... hmm besides that, it's mostly romantic, fluff and pretty vanilla smut.

have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes. I mostly write together with another author. I only write One Shots alone. 95% of them aren't published tho xD

The biggest and arguably my favourite one tho is with @dhwty-writes . its a 200k unfinished monstrum. .... UNFINISHED! You hear that @dhwty-writes ??? UNFINISHED!!!

what’s your all-time favourite ship?

oooooooffff... I probably should say SwanQueen, as I've read and written the most about it... but my own Characters and DnD ships are growing on me far more by now.... for the purpose of this game tho, let's stick to SwanQueen

what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Definitly You don't need eyes to see. I hate leaving it in that constant unfinished state with publishing aroung 2 chapters a year... but I had no real plan for the story aside from some some scenes I've already written... and at this point, it's just a huge bundle of lose strings I can't even grasp properly. Also my writing style has changed so much over the course of this story, that I can't even bring myself to reread the early chapters.... I hate myself for letting it come to that....

what are your writing strengths?

Thats a mean question to ask... I don't think I have a particular strength. I like writing in metaphors and I've been told I am very good in describing scenes and the emotional states and thoughts of characters... So I guess, describing is a strength of me?

what are your writing weaknesses?

TIMESKIPS! DIALOG (besides flirtations) HAVING A F*CKING PLAN FOR A STORY! I almost exclusively write one shots alone, because I just can't think of a cohesive longer plot. I am in awe of every author who knows in the beginning how many chapters the story is probably gonna have and what roughly happens in every chapter. I SUCK AT THAT. I just start writing and stop when I think it's a nice cliffhanger. And the next chapter is picking up at that cliffhanger and ..... looking where the story carries me... that's the main reason why "You don't need eyes to see" is taking so long

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hmm... I've never written in another language than german. So I don't really have a thought on that. But I have some characters who speak fantasy made up languages, and it's really fun to write sentences and expressions that the other characters or the co author dont know. Especially if you teach them in character this made up language. So.... Its a pain in the ass to read, if you don't know the language but a lot of fun worldbuilding and dialog/character development wise in my opinion.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

The game triology "Mass Effect" by BioWare. To this day, it's my favourite game. But I've only ever written and published one fic for that fandom, and it's not even finished.

what’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Hands down The Handmaiden . I am thinking a lot about translating it into english, because I like it so much... but the Fandom for it is pretty dead I think....

That was fun I think... Thanks for tagging me! I tag everyone who feels like it, Since the only mutuals I have here, eihter tagged me or did the game already xD

[vagarius]

misukazu 21

(if you saw me fuck up the other one no you didnt)

EDIT I THINK THIS ONE GOT A LITTLE FUCKED UP TOO BUT IT’S... READABLE...

questions from this post, and answers originally written for this thread!!

If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it?    their canon first meeting is already so good SHDGFLJASHG but if i had to choose a different one that's still within the context of mankai... meeting as kids and losing touch and coming back together completely different at mankai

What song fits your pairing the most?    uhhHHhhHHH i don't have a real answer but i do have a partial playlist for one of my misukazu aus and the only two songs in it are furaregai girl by sayuri and champagne's for celebrating by mayday parade and i feel like that says enough sldhgalsdhfalsh

What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing?     ALL MISUKAZU AUS ARE GOOD but. i really love any au where their first meeting is in the future and both are still kind of lost but they're Older and it's hard to let themselves fall into the easy trust they find in canon. i just think that'd be neat.

Do you prefer canon ideas or do you have your own headcanons for them?     I'VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES BUT CANON MISUKAZU GIVES OFF MADE FOR EACH OTHER VIBES AND USUALLY I DON'T VIBE WITH THAT BUT THEY REALLY ARE WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS... AND I THINK EVEN IF THEY HAD TO PART THEY'D STILL BE ABLE TO BE BETTER PEOPLE BC THEY HAD MET

Favorite canon moment of them?     THERE ARE SO MANY but the one that immediately comes to mind is misumi carrying drunk kazu to bed (latest bday line) because drunk kazu is so soft and it implies that misumi wanted to wish happy birthday to kazu pretty late... what did he want to give him...

Least favorite canon moment of them?     hmm... there's not really one i can think of??? IM SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY I LOVE ALL THEIR CANON MOMENTS

Favorite headcanon trope/idea? (Your own or someone else’s)    this is somehow both vague and very specific but i think misukazu gives off this vibe: He's beautiful. I can't tell him. or "Kazu is always beautiful~" Don't call me that, Kazu thinks. I'm not. so... insecurities i guess ????? AJSHAJJD

Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics?     THIS IS GOING TO SOUND SO CHEESY but i love how /real/ they allow themselves to be around each other. misukazu at their best is when one thinks "you're you. and i love that you" and the other knows this. i just. THEY VALIDATE THE OTHER SO MUCH CRIES

Least favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcannon)     this isn't a "least fav" so much as "it makes me sad" but if either of them showed any sign of not being interested anymore the other is more likely to give up then push anything. sort of like "it was bound to happen, so i'll enjoy now until they drop me" or EVEN WORSE they think the other would be better off without them and pushes them away. so yeah the fact i can see one of these happening makes me sad.

If they aren’t a canon pairing, how would you get them together?     they give off "everyone knows we're dating but us" energy but at the same time i feel like they'd acknowledge there's something and just not define it bc a) they don't need to (misumi) or b) they're too nervous to (kazu). in other words i think one day they are holding hands and misumi says "kazu? is this dating?" and kazu holds his breath before asking "do you want it to be?"

If you had to take them and plunk them into another fandom, what fandom would that be? Why?     i think theyd be hilarious in any sports animanga (kazu is manager tho bc noodle arms but maybe they bond when misumi walks him through some of his usual training menu one night - ahem. anyway) BUT ALSO horimiya au...

How hard is it write/draw your pairing? Scale of 1-10.     AJDHAJDHSF I REALLY LOVE THEM SO IT COMES PRETTY EASILY... but sometimes you try to put them in tropes and realize they would Just Not Work Like That. idk where i'm going with this. but yeah. anyway 3 for sankaku.

Is there a pairing that you think rivals them?     in terms of what i ship, i tend to ship kazu and misumi individually with a lot of dif charas AJDHAKD. but in terms of like... in-universe "rival" pairings: kazu side: tsuzukazu (maybe, lbr it would take them 273924 yrs to actually get together), kazu x someone from winter (i... have my reasons but they'd take longer than what this answer entails) misumi side: ... surprisingly none that i can think of ahdjahd

Which character of the pairing do you like more? (Would you ever pair yourself with them?)     you know that tweet that's like "sometimes a ship is just your two favs"? yeah that's misukazu for me. but if i had to choose... misumi AJDHAJHDSF I HONESTLY WASNT THAT INTO YUME UNTIL THESE TWO CAME AROUND (NOT COUNTING 707)... but yeah if they wanted to hold me in their arms i wouldn't oppose

Which character of your pairing would be the one to break up with the other? Why?     OOOOOH BOY well. i think it could be either of them. i don't think they'd break up for lack of love but too much love and wanting the other to be happy and thinking that the only way to give them that is to let them go. so i guess the question is which of them would be more likely to be selfish and hold on. thinking this way, i think misumi would be more likely to break-up, bc kazu has lots of friends who are better than him!! and misumi is more ready to leave if he thinks he needs to than kazu is. now im sad.

Are they relatable as characters or as a pairing?     THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE BEEN CALLED KAZU KIN... in all seriousness kazu's struggles with speaking out and (shinobi spoilers) his uncertainty over his future hit real close to home... while i don't relate as much as misumi, his struggles always manage to tear my heart into pieces... ((oversharing alert) i guess what really separates me from misumi is his struggle with his desire to connect with family who has treated him poorly... whereas im more "lol fuck you") tldr i relate to kazu slightly more LOL

Did you once/ever dislike one/both of them?     i never disliked them but i was NOT expecting either of them to shoot up so quickly into my favs list ahdjahdjf. also i started shipping them Immediately After reading summer main story so there's that

On an estimate, how many posts have you made about them?    as of september 28th 2020 i make up 11/78 fics on ao3 in the romantic misukazu tag and 2/12 in the platonic one. i may have brainrot.

What made you decide to ship them?     TBH I FINISHED THE MAIN STORY AND WENT "OH MY GOD... THAT'S MY SHIP" but now that i'm here i continue to ship them because they have the potential to bring out both the best and the worst in each other and i'm all about that

Favorite genre for them? (Angst, fluff, etc.)     angst. i just. angst hurt/comfort all the way. im so sorry babies.

lol you thought there would just be 21 ANYWAY EXTRA 1: how do they spend breaks/vacation?    they'd travel a lot when they're older!! kazunari loves to travel and misumi would follow kazunari anywhere (also, new triangles!!) so they go somewhere new whenever they have the time. however i think eventually one or both of their future careers will take them anywhere and everywhere anyway, so their "ideal vacation" might turn into an evening in, cuddling and catching up (as if they didn't already send play-by-play updates over the phone of whatever they did during the day)

EXTRA 2: first date?     i don't they ever have an explicit first date, but if asked they'll cite the time they had a picnic in the park turned triangle hunt turned accidental dip in the duck pond. at least, kazunari will. misumi just tilts his head and wonders what you mean.

EXTRA 3: gifts?     IM FEELING REALLY CHEESY SO I'M MAKING THIS ABOUT ANNIVERSARY GIFTS they both end up getting each other jewelry (although kazu was really really nervous bc he wasn't sure if misumi would wear it). kazu gets misumi a bracelet (with triangles, of course although misumi only wears it sometimes because he doesn't want to lose it) and misumi gets kazu a pair of triangle earrings "so we can match!" and kazunari combusts at the implications

EXTRA 4: sharing clothes     THEY'RE ACTUALLY AROUND THE SAME SIZE (and tend to wear baggier stuff barring kazu's skinny jeans)... but they have completely different Styles so it's still really obvious when steal each other's stuff ahdjajdkaf. as cute as kazu would look in sumi's sweatshirt i think the much more likely scenario is kazu wrapping misumi in his jackets because this boy nEVER BRINGS HIS ANYWHERE anyway just. accidental shared wardrobe misukazu.

EXTRA 5: lake house au    consider: kazunari living in a house on the shore of a lake for a summer for Art Purposes (and a little bit for Dealing With Life purposes but he's not gonna admit that) and meets his lake neighbor misumi who kazu thinks might be a ghost or spirit for a while but he actually just lives further down the lake and misumi unknowingly helps kazu with his Life Issues and maybe they fall in love

[flower-of-the-desert]

Thoughts on My Engineer ep14

Well, now I just feel clowned by this show. But in a good way. Which is a very nice feeling. I was so sure at least one of the couples would end on bad turns but instead they gave us the perfect set up for everyone is s02. That’s very sexy of them tbh. So going by the couples again:

1) Mek/Boss - ok ok they’re pretty damn cute; I loved Boss’s public confession and Mek getting flustered and most of all the way the scene went with Boss and Fon - I’m glad Boss was finally honest about his feelings making everything clear (I’m still a tiny bit annoyed with him for leading Fon on when he knew he had feelings for someone else) and that Fon accepted it and they parted ways on good terms.

2) Thara/Frong - poor Frong got brother-zoned so bad but that’s one of the things I’m looking forward to in the next season - seeing how Thara is going to go from lol, we’re just brothers! to having more romantic feelings and how Frong will deal with the initial rejection.

3) Bohn/Duen - sigh, I knew they were going to end things like this and sadly, it just... it doesnt make sense? I dont understand why Bohn didnt just TELL Duen that what he saw wasnt true and that he didnt kiss Mind willingly. Instead they made the whole argument about Bohn hiding the truth but didnt address the fact that Duen misunderstood what he saw. This changes the whole perspective because it makes it seem like Bohn cheated and that’s not what happened AT ALL. I just... dont understand why this turned out the way it did. Even the ending scene, as cute as it was, would have been so much BETTER if they had handled Duen’s skinship problem in a normal logical way - have Duen just TELL Bohn that he’s not comfortable with kissing and touching yet and he wants to take things slowly.

4) RamKing - what’s that noise, you ask? Oh, it’s just my SCREAMING at the top of my lungs over that RamKing scene. It’s no secret that they’re my favourites and this scene just about made me lose every bit of marbles I had at the moment. LOVE IT. King finally breaking down and confessing, saying how hard it is to control himself around Ram (hmmm, I’m gonna need 765847567 fics on that pleeeeaaasse 🙏🙏🙏) and how it tortures him that Ram makes him feel so good and he cant do anything about it. And THEN that KISS 🔥🔥 the desperation with which King grabbed him and then Ram kissing back like that I’m just 👀👀👀 I’m gonna need s02 ASAP and to give me MORE OF THAT.

Also can we talk about the fact that they’re still living together???? They’re gonna be spending all that time together at their home with their plants and dogs and and

I’m not ok, Send help.

[pxrxmoore]

ohhhh anna’s lil tag game is very cute i love these questions! thank u @ashtcnirwin 🥰

feel free to answer all of them or just some of them or just ignore this all together, whatever you’re comfortable with, and then tag however many people you want!

1. what was your first encounter with fanfiction? asjdfk god it was atl fic on livejournal and mibba in like 2010 maybe?? idek but it was all slash fic like had literally not heard of reader insert until i joined the sos fam properly in 2018. also don’t remember what my reaction to it was?? reading slash fic has been so normal for me for like 10 yrs i dont know how the fcuk it started 😂 this was before i got tumblr but i used to keep up to date with some of the bigger atl blogs like it was the morning news or sumat and like 90% of them wrote amazing fic so 🤷‍♀️

2. your favourite creation of your own of all time if you create stuff (feel free to link it)?

3. what vibe are you going for with your home decor (or what vibe do you wanna go for one day, if you don’t have your own place atm)? oh man, unfortunately i dont have my own place right now, but my room is full of plants and i also just spent half an hour looking at witchy occult cat figurines on amazon sooooo ig those are my vibes rn 😌 but i feel like it changes all the time tbh

4. first fandom you ever joined? what was it like? on what platform did it happen? paramore was the first band i was a massive fan of but i didnt rly get into the fandom ig i just was my own lil bubble of pmore. i had a massive kpop phase when i was like 13 and my fave band was UKiss - i joined a forum (cannot remember what it’s called rn) and met a few people thru that! i met this rly sweet girl and we used to message every day and we like designed our own merch ackskrkr so ig that must’ve been my first fandom! i also taught myself basic korean and this is gonna sound Very Weird but instead of like knowing celebs zodiac signs it was rly common to know blood types like it was kind of the same deal apparently ur blood type says a lot about ur personality ajxjkskf so i knew like kpop idols blood types ajsjjfjjcjfjjf ahhhhhh so wild

5. what are your sun, moon and rising signs, and do you think they make sense in relation to how you know yourself? aries sun, leo moon, cancer rising - i am an absolute disgrace of an aries LMAO i do not fit my sun sign in the slightest its the complete opposite of me, leo is kinda similar tbh i feel like its kinda close to aries? so yeah i dont fit those at all. ig i kind of am more cancer bc im emotional as all hell LOL but yeah i never put a lot of thought into my signs for a rly long time bc i always felt they were a completely wrong description of me

6. if you write and/or read fiction (original or fanfiction), do the tropes/plots/character types you typically seek out to read and/or write about reflect something about you as a being or how you see the world? i don’t write but uhhh i usually go for like hurt/comfort which??? ig i could relate to me LMAO how emo 😌 i’m not sure tbh, i deff don’t feel the characters i read reflect anything about me?? tbh i have never rly thought about this thats super interesting.... i feel like i love a good angsty fic but it has to have a happy ending asdksnidfg and im a pretty emo person but like ig im tryna be hopeful in the end?? so maybe?? yeah ig its how i would see the world!

7. what is the hardest obstacle you’ve had to overcome so far in life? holy shit uhhhhhhh man thts a tough one but idk if i wanna think about it in too much detail tbh 😌 ig recently i spoke to a dr about my mental health after years of pretending i wasnt depressed so 🤷‍♀️

8. what is your all time favourite song(s)? brighter by paramore - first song i fell in love with by them and ive been hooked ever since. before i listened to them i only listened to chart music lmfao literally had never listened to anything else and then after listening to paramore i started listening to rock/pop punk music and discovered all the bands that i listen to now!

9. what do you look for in a person you wanna keep in your life, be it a friend or a romantic partner or anything in between? hm ig recently ive realised its gotta be someone who has the same kinds views and values as me (i mean not down to a t but like generally the same kinda views and like respect for others u know) uhh someone i feel comfortable around to act my true chaotic self 😌✌️and also comfortable to know we can both talk about anything with no judgement no matter what it is. but also someone that respects like having seperate lives from each other? like not needing to be in each others pockets and knowing even if it’s been a lil while u can still message and it’s like no time has passed

10. this is a bit of a difficult one, but have you ever had a moment of clarity, a conversation with someone that made you go “oh!”, or anything along those lines? ooh i mean in 2018 i was working an office job in engineering and had a moment of like wow ive always wanted to work in events and especially live music and ive wanted to since i was like 13 and here i am 10 years later still considering that as a potential career path so ig it means something pretty significant and i decided to leave my perm job last year and go temp but then. yeah. this year happened so 🥴🤷‍♀️

i tag: @superbloomirwin @kindahoping4forever @spookydaddycal @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles @reveriesofawriter @mastasof-ravenkroft @rebelwith0utacause @karajaynetoday 💛

[bucksbisexual]

okay since im rewatching 2gether, might as well make my reaction public lol

tine trying to be a supportive boyfriend by asking wat if something is troublig and wat’s himbo self being like “nah fam im good” god i love this dumbass

also tine not knowing how to talk about his feelings is so relatable help

honestly i would’ve LOVED to see sarawat at least one (1) question

tine’s smile while wat drinks..... Sir I Am In Love With You

also his blush..... Sir I Am More In Love With You Than I Was Before

“is the lyric about smile or happiness?” “don’t cheat” wat saw through his bullshit right there KSJFHKS

i wonder what’s in those glasses because it doesn’t quite look like coke but it obviously isn’t beer,,,,

ohhhhh “a friend from high school” ... explains tine’s reaction we see in the teaser when he introduces pam as his highschool friend

also explains why tine thought sarawat made that video for her instead of him. wat is in his high school clothes and tine probably thought it was before he saw him (when in fact it was probably recorded the same day lmao sarawat hopeless romantic)

tine: one more game! [spins the coin and supposedly falls on heads] wat!

sarawat: no one can talk to me if i fall asleep

i’m trying not to look at bright’s jiggly butt why is ass so fat fOR

it doesnt add the points here if i dont write something else so intro time yeet

yknow what . we need more earn and more pear in these two last episodes . i need my wlw rep and i need it Now

“personal space is important even for couples” still cant believe man was the owner of their braincell in this scene

tine giving all of type’s info away to wat so wat can give it to man who tine knows will use to pester him until he becomes his boyfriend...... say it with me: tine mantype shipper

“how did you know?” “i prayed to god” literally the funniest part ever

manboss: im not going good luck wat: you’re so full of bullshit

GREEN <3

i will just say that pink is tine’s best colour. i need him in every soft pink thing u can find. it accentuates his skin colour so perfectly and we are Here for it honeyyyy

MIL SHUT THE FUCKUP

sarawat being a savage (rachet booty nasty) we stan

bro get over him oh my god he’s taken and happy with wat LEAVEEEEEE

and man pestering type begins Now ksjfh

i’m like 100000000% sure that the only thing in that whole backpack is a pencil and half of an eraser

im also sure type saw him buy the book since u literally can see him from where man and that girl are and

hold up the waiter looks like a guy from whyru,,,,,,,,,,

i need someone to write a fic about tine being an astronomy lover and wat falling in love with him because of the joy in his eyes when he talks about the stars and interesting facts about the universe and new discoveries of galaxies and other things that wat doesnt really care about but he listens to either way because he’s too in love to shut off his brain

okay back to the episode sorry i just really had to say this

wat really said “don’t take advantage of me when i’m sleeping” when they haven’t even kissed.......... no words, completely speechless

tine probably thought he was being real sneaky right there lmao boy he fell asleep 2 seconds ago

god green really appears for 2 seconds and yet he steals the show KSFJHKFJFS he really was about to beat the person in front of him’s ass for not walking faster im crying i love him

BITCH SHUT UP AND LEAVE THEM ALONE STOP TRYING TO BE A HOMEWRECKER

wat looks so offended by his offer it’s so funny jhfksjhgj still MIL GET THE FUCK OUT

them running around is so funny when u know they had to do that like 20 times and were tired as fuck KSJFHKSHFS

WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER i love u

omg the bracelet truly isnt there at the start of the scene :-(

“nuisance tree” lemme just cry a bit

the music stopping here......... they truly played with our feelings there huh

WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER 2

the reactions are so kdrama outro i cant breathe KJHFJSFKJS

GET THE FUCK OUTTTTTTTTTTT

“well, you left him” IM GOING TO STEP ON YOU

bracelet where r u :-(

“it was here a second ago” it wasn’t im an obsessed bitch and noticed just as the scene there started

he looks so worried:-( tine baby

“i can make you a new one” “but i want the old one” why do i feel like that has more than one meaning,,,

half of the times wat touches tine’s head his hands are dirty as fuck lmaoooooo

is- is someone wearing a marihuana dress??????

manbosss again and he has a book

type is the teepakorn brother that can lie and will lie meanwhile tine can’t lie for a living

I LOVE THIS GUY GIVE ME HIS SELF CONFIDENCE

dim really made up a whole spirit just for wat to be with tine lmao i cant breathe (unless the pine tree spirit is an actual thing and he just used it for this specific thing lmao)

“that senior is me” “and who did you go with?” “that was a long time ago” “it wasn’t me, it wasn’t me” “green, drop it!” i love them KSFJHFSJHF

green and wats faces i cant bREATHE these are the faces of people who know this is all fake

BRO WAT WASNT EVEN THAT SLICK WITH THE PAPER IN HIS HAND SJKHSFHHKFS

my guess is that he had two papers that were the same number just incase they didnt get the same number but then somehow mf MIL had to come in and ruin it

i dont know who chose to make bright wear this much brown but it honestly fits him so well

coffee for his soon to be boyfie

man: loving u is kind of bothering? type: o_o man

he’s still reading the book kjshfsf WAIT HES SO CUTE

“you gotta miss me if i don’t show up one day” “just back off. i’m leaving. do not follow me. give me some time to miss you” okay tsundere ass bitch

type’s so rich he’d rather spend money on getting his tire fixed than get it fixed by man for free i hate rich people

he’s also too rich to care to check if his doors were locked i-

“for me?” “do you see anyone else?” bitch ass tsundere

type: smiles, realises he just did that, eyes cutely go o_o

type looks so cute in that scene for no reason im going to eat ur cheeks if u dont stop being a cutie

aaaaaand of course theyre not paired up

dude of course he is youre creepy and also trying to break his relationship apart only because u dont have the decency to see that you dont have a place in his heart whatsoever

dim honey........ jskhsjf

tine’s hair....... PLEASE I NEED TO TOUCH IT IT LOOKS SO FLUFFY

“the spirit doesnt like it when you pray with your eyes opened” did literally no one notice how nonsense that was? KSFJHSJ

GREEN U SCARED THE BABY WHY WOULD U DRESS LIKE THAT

he looks so cute im gonna cry like actually cry

weak ass blankets they gave them i swear

if u cuddled then u wouldnt have been cold but noooooo ur big puppy boyfriend has trust issues

baby:-((((((((((( i will cover u with a blanket and give u lots of kithes and hugs

tine having his phone die at an important moment and also having no sense of direction whatsoever is so relatable lmaooooo

thank god for the rain because otherwise sarawat wouldnt have ran the way tine actually went lmao i wouldve beaten dims ass if mil was the one who found him

this scene hurts so much:-(( his throwing the grass like that in complete defeat??????? the flashback to him saying that bad things seem to happen to them lately makes my heart break

the soft touches:-((((( please im gonna Cry

dnotsaysorrydontsaysorrydonsaysorrydontsayHE SAID SORRY FFS

baby :’((((((

“i prayed for something but i havent redeemed that prayer yet” “what did you ask for?” “it’s if i got to see you again, i would show you the video i made. it’s the song your smile you are so curious about” BITCHHHHHHHHH

HES GONNA SHOW ITTTTTT YES I LOVE HOPELESS ROMANTIC HIGHSCHOOLER SARAWAT

he’s all shy i cant breathe he cant even look at the screen skjfhksh

oh so it was on the same day sksjhj forgot about that

I CRY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

tine is all blushy im gonna sob i love these two

im trying not to scream and tines reaction to wat telling him he went to every scrubb concert just to look for him

ITS NOT GONNA GET STUCK ON THE VIDEO BABY HE WILL LIKE U BACK IN A YEAR!!!!!!

“i like you” “yeah. i know. i like you too” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM LITERALLY REWATCHINNG BUT I STILL JUST SCREECHED AT THAT I LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

their smiles after he said it tho.......... my heart hURTS

wat: the wish only drew us to cross paths again. us being together is because of something else, tine: what then? wat: shout out to my homies for being there for me since day one i love u bros

THE FLASHBACK AAAAAAAA I FOUND HIM YES U DID BABYYYYYY

boss’s whistle after he tells them that he only said he would kiss him until he dropped lmaoooooo

“his name is tine. [with the softest voice ever] what a cute name”

manboss looking at each other like this bitch is so gone for this random dude but we’re gonna support him because we’re the only friends he has

wat was probably wishing the pool had water in it so he could throw both of them into it at that moment KJSFHJSFHF

“he’s the one i like” “shiiiiiit” same dim, same

fan dee nAAAAAA

his ass was so gone he was gonna make his ig username lovetine i literally cant believe him

boss having the braincell in this scene i love it

“but earn has a boyfriend” LIES. SO MANY LIES. ITS A GIRL. SHES A WHOLE LESBIAN.

boss once again being the owner of the braincell...... im starting to think he owns it half of the time

“you get it now? us being together is not a coincidence. it’s because of us” WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER 3

wait,,,,, tine’s little head tilt,,,,,,, SIR I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU

the stars!!!!!!!!! theyre there!!!!!!

“i think nothing bad is going to happen anymore” honey you got a big storm coming

it ended :’(((((( my beautiful boys i love this episode and drama so much i swear

lets watch the next episode teaser

i dont think tine is gonna lsiten to pam saying that but if he does,,, baby pls dont overthink okay he loves u and wont leave u for anyone in the world

phukong dont come back to him he knows that u like him and will play with ur feelings

type is gonna have to choose between im guessing either a boy interested in him from work or man and im gonna vote for him going with man lets hope i win

WHAT IS WRNOG WITH U BRO GET OUT HES HIS BOYFRIEND OF COURSE HES GOING TO CARE AND WORRY YOURE JSUT A CREEP FOLLOWING HIM AROUND HOPING THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP ENDS SO U CAN SNEAK IN UGH

“is pam your first love?” WHY DID U END THE TEASER THERE AAAAAAA BITCH

im so glad that the episode comes out today because i Need to know more

okay thats it if anyone read all of this first of all sorry kjshkfj and second of all thank u ,, u didnt have to but u did and ily for that okay bye

[khazadspoon]

001: mo dao zu shi, 002: chengyao, 003: zack fair!

HRMMMM

001: 

Favorite character: Lan Xichen and/or Jin Guangyao but for like... opposite reasons

Least Favorite character: Sect Leader Yao and Xue Yang (I am sorry everyone who loves him I just really dont) - ADDITION. I dont care for Wen Chao at all.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): XiYao, 3Zun, Jiang Yanli/Jin Zixuan, ChengYao, Jiang Cheng/Any Semblance of Happiness 

Character I find most attractive: LAN XICHEN. Hands down.

Character I would marry: Lan Xichen. Again. 

Character I would be best friends with: Probably Sizhui because he is so lovely and polite and kind, but it would probably be Yanli. I would be very very down to be friends with Lan Xichen even if he is far above my station in life. 

a random thought:  Does anyone else just really want to see more of Mian Mian being amazing with her husband and kid? Spinoff perhaps? 

An unpopular opinion:  I wasnt moved by the Yi City arc and dont have strong feelings for any of the characters involved in that besides the Juniors. And generally just enjoying Jin Guangyao as a character is unpopular I guess. Also the Wangxian relationship in the novel? Yikes.

My Canon OTP: Since none of my OTPs are canon it has to be Yanli/Zixuan (I like wangxian dont get me wrong but I dont get emotional over them)

My Non-canon OTP: XiYao and all the painful awfulness with that.

Most Badass Character: Jiang Cheng or Wen Ning. 

Most Epic Villain: Does Wei Wuxian count as a villain in his own story? Because he was the scariest at times. Jiggy was awesome but not Epic in that badass way.

Pairing I am not a fan of: XiCheng or the Yi City arc ships.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Wen Ruohan maybe? He did so little and could have been so much cooler and more villainous. 

Favourite Friendship: Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning FOR SURE. 

Character I most identify with: Jiang Cheng for the whole “I am not good enough and need to be angry/cry 24/7″ and Lan Xichen for the “gotta be impartial and not ruffle feathers if it can be helped”. I am an angry peacekeeper. 

Character I wish I could be: Lan Xichen. He is my answer to everything but he is beautiful, intelligent, kind, powerful, Tall and A Cis Man unless someone has kept something from me (my gay little short-ass trans heart beats wildly at him)

002:

When I started shipping them: Very recently when I saw someone displaying Jiang Cheng’s desires in a woman and them fitting Jiggy almost to a T. It just descended into madness from there.

My thoughts: It is just Pain as everything in Jiang Cheng’s life is, but given the chance it might have been pretty good, y’know? I mean... co-parenting, trauma sharing, clashing personalities that could balance out, the whole shebang is there. Also powerplay.

What makes me happy about them: THE ANGST. And the way you can just play on the unrequited feelings from other side characters. If things had been Less Terrible and if Jiggy had Not Been an Ultimate Shitlord there could have been some great stuff there.

What makes me sad about them: THE ANGST. The awful betrayal. The fact its obviously not gonna work out when there is Lan Xichen being the one person JGY didnt think about (directly) hurting. Jiang Cheng didn’t really stand a chance.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: There is very little so idk, the fact that there isnt more and I cant write more.

Things I look for in fanfic: TOUCH STARVED CLINGING. UNREQUITED SIDE PAIRING. Bonding with each other over Jin Ling. Also top-Jiggy stretching his mean muscles a little. 

My wishlist: More fic. The stuff above. A completely different canon where nothing terrible happens so it can all be fine??? No war crimes and betrayal please???

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: For JGY it is easy, Lan Xichen and/or Nie Mingjue (if there isnt all the war crimes and betrayal of course) but with Jiang Cheng I am really not sure. Forever alone. 

My happily ever after for them: There isn’t one HAHA. But maybe they bond over being uncles (Yanli lives au solves everything), get close, help each other with parental issues, and work on their repression of feelings and develop healthy relationships with themselves instead of the messes they are.

003

How I feel about this character: I love him and I was devastated when he died in canon... and thrilled at the prospect of him just being back again.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Aerith, Sepiroth, Cloud. Maybe Reno.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: I liked his interactions with Angeal and the Turks in Crisis Core...

My unpopular opinion about this character: He is better than Cloud to me as a protagonist. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Besides having lived??????? Just having lived would be enough.

Favorite friendship for this character: He had a great friendship with Aerith even before the romance so that.

My crossover ship: I dont have one........yet. Give me time. 

[floaty-pickle]

ok so i’ll preface this by asking you to please not reblog this post. you can like or reply if you want to, but please dont spread it around. i will also use slashes or asterisks to make sure none of this shows up in any tag.

ooook, i wanted to make my position on some things clear. some of you have probably noticed that i have been very vague about how i stand on some... themes... in this fandom and that i only speak up when something enormously fucky is going down. that was on purpose, but im gonna stop doing that now.

when i joined tumblr eons ago i used to be (past tense) pretty indifferent to and kind of ok with r//pf content. it happens to actors, creators, etc in a lot of fandoms and it never outright bothered me. i never specifically sought out or even wrote r//pf content, but i knew a few bloggers who did and sometimes i saw some edits or a short fic and i was like “aww thats cute” and went on. in my mind “speculating about whether or not two celebrities are a couple/saying two people would be a cute couple” wasnt that far away from “creating stories where those two are together”. i also fully bought into the ‘the people in the stories are fictionalised versions of the real people’ thing.

over time i finally acknowledged that being shipped with a colleague or a friend would be uncomfortable for most people, so that would apply to celebrities, too. i still wasnt exactly anti r//pf, but my main concern was that the subjects of the r//pf should never, never be confronted with the fic or the other romantic content created about them. i was already convinced that dark and twisted shit like r*pefic or heavily kinky stuff was unacceptable for r//pf. i went by these rules for the longest time: if r//pf content isnt fucked up and if its guaranteed that the people its about will not see it, its ok. you cant be uncomfortable with something you dont know anything about. i still held onto this for some time after getting into b//fu.

then some severely sinister shit happened, which im sure most of you remember. i saw the lengths some people would go to defend writing fucked up r//pf or r//pf in general. i had gotten to know (although know is a strong word as im not really ~in~ the b//fu fandom and im notoriously bad at making friends on here or just responding in general haha) a few bloggers, some of them shippers. this happened after i made a few angry posts about the fucked up shit, so i knew the few shippers i met werent those kinds of monsters. i know they arent bad people and i know they wanted the boys or their friends/partners to never find any of it. 

but in the meantime (like, a few months ago?) weve learned that the boys DO know about the r//pf (as does s*ra apparently) and theyre uncomfortable with it. r*an even made some not so subtle comments about it. if you remember, one of my main rules was that for r//pf to be ok, they cant ever find out about it. and suddenly i noticed the big flaw in my logic. deep down i always knew that r//pf in general wasnt ok and i was just kidding myself with the “if they never find out about it” bit. if something is only ok when it happens behind someones back and is suddenly not ok anymore when the person knows about it, it hasnt been ok from the start. what you dont know wont hurt you is bullshit.

the reason why i didnt say anything for the longest time is because i thought “ive been ok with and condoned this for so long and have even played with the thought a few times myself, so i would be a real hypocrite if i started posting like ive always been against it”. but now i AM saying it. so if there are any shippers left following me even after i got put on a blocklist (and ive earned my place on that one): i know not all of you are irredeemable monsters and i know i cant convince you to stop. i know i wont be able to do that, but please think about some of the things ive written and ask yourself if youre only ok with projecting romantic or erotic stories onto real people because “they wont ever find out”. if you are, then please remember, that they already HAVE found out and are uncomfortable with it. if youre now feeling guilty thats the sign for you to stop. it took me some time to figure this out, too.

[embroideried]

MARJORIE!!!! please do all of the questions for the end of the year ask thing, thank u and i love u

............u got it only bc i love & miss u

First things first, did you have a good year?hmmm i guess so yeah! overall it was good. weird and hard but still good.How old did you turn this year?18!Did your appearance change in anyway?i....am a lot lazier with my appearance. ive gone out with no makeup and unwashed hair more times than i ever have in my entire life and i hardly dress up anymore. i hope to get back to....looking nice next year. i gained some weight but i have a feeling it wont stay on me very long. i have long hair now also? and ive had a few different colors of hair and got a tiny hashtag bodymodPost your favorite selfie.

honestly? its this stupid ass snap i sent to ellis one day

Which fashion trends did you love?fishnets under ripped jeans....i did that. but thats only cute in certain ways. i never wore socks over leggings much bc i dont have many cute long socks but honestly? it can be cute. also the embroidery trend overall of course but surprisingly enough i dont have anything thats like....Embroidered. yk. like with florals. i only have one embroidered cap but its just got the vans logo on it so who care. i’m also enjoying the comeback of fun dyeing methods like tie dyes and acid washes but again....only ok sometimesWhich fashion trends did you hate?vintage band tees cut down the front halfway in a v and laced up with big chunky things for the eyes of the laces and just. fat strings. uglyWhat song sums up this year for you?no offense but caught in the middle by paramoreWhat album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then?AFTER LAUGHTER BY PARAMORE! best album of the year. melodrama by lorde hasn’t got many plays apparently from me buuuut still a fave. im gonna see her in march!Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year?dont lump me with those weirdos but the kids from it are so good! i love finn and jack especially. i also got to see jaden smith truly for the first time in the get down and now i know i’ll look out for him again in the future.Favorite new TV show?pretty sure i watched black mirror for the first time this year so BLACK MIRROR BINCHWhat food did you try for the first time?i truly cant think of something Genuinely new that i tried....i found that i enjoy wine? and sangria. i don’t DRINK but i’ve had a bit of that. i started eating fried eggs with runny yolk often! i like that a lot now...especially when i also have like the shoestring-style hashbrowns to eat it with. goodDid you make any big permanent changes this year?i got a tattøø and also officially soiled my name with explicit gay rpf smutWhat was one nice thing you did for yourself?i treated the fuck out of myself this year until i had no moneyDid you develop a new obsession?i took up embroidery but i dont think thats like....an obsession. i’ve definitely gotten much much much more into film and writing this year oh shit yeah thats itDid you move?fucking yeah i went to college and moved there but also my mom and my dad both got a new place so i live nowhereDid you get a job?nope! just kept the same one from last yearDo you regret not doing anything?oh fuck yeah bitch im not talking about the meet and greet againDo you regret doing something?again yes all my big regrets revolve around the gotdam ARTOPIADid anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days?yes ma’am but thats my personalityDid you lose anyone close to you?i don’t believe so. anyone i truly lost i wasn’t close with in the first place.Did you fall out of love?yes ma’am also i change my answer on the question about falling in love because i forgot that happened in like january and not last yearDid you start a new relationship?nothing romantic but i made so many beautiful amazing friendships? all this year! this really was a great year for me on an overlookDid you have to cut ties to someone?nah ive stopped being friends with people just from falling out of touch but i havent excommunicated anyone. i deleted the like....3 melanie martinez songs i had but that wasnt a tragedy in the slightestWho was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year?all of my mcbeautiful friends whom i will call out right here that i am genuinely surprised that i only met this year? You.....Miss Avia, asya, christiana, hannah, ellis, edy and like everyone else. if you’re actually reading this, probably you too. and my perfect roommate and other friends i made this year that im a dick for not mentioning and the girls i am moving into a suite with next year. also im very into jake gyllenhaal this year i’ve always loved him but its gotten Bigger and Better in 2017If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it?Yes Bitch I Would Have Gone To Fucking Artopia On Time And Met Josh And TylerWhat was the best moment of the year for you?there were....so many good things. here’s some of my favorites: - meeting all of my treasured friends here i am still in hashtag shock that its only been that long- twenty one pilots winnin their grammy- meeting my roommate- hand embroidering hoops for two of my beloved teachers and making them cry- singing “we go together” with all of my friends on stage as we all finished our last show of high school together- giving one of my best friends a joke award at our drama banquet and calling him chicken little because hes like hardly over 100 pounds and like really tall and him running up to me and hugging me so hard he actually picked me up with his chicken ass arms and im small but im not. light- graduating high school- seeing twenty one pilots TWO TIMES!- sobbing louder than i ever have during march to the sea at tour de columbus simply because i was unsure of what it was but then i recognized it and started absolutely BAWLING because i was so excited that i knew all of the songs this time- having a CAMEO IN CHRISTIANAS COWBOY FIC- receiving my packages from you and christiana- this list is so long and you know what i’m gonna do? im gonna stop and im gonna write out lists of all of my fave moments with all of my friends with whomst i owe 55 fucking letters. i love y’allDid anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really did?this and the vice versa of this question are strange to me because i truly dont know this is the year of #personal #growthWhat have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior?i love hummusDid your opinion of anyone change for the better?i love jake gyllenhaal more than ever beforeIf you make resolutions, did you complete them this year?i dont make them!What do you wish for others for the coming year?luv and happiness and moneyWhat do you wish for yourself?luv and happiness and money

[velvetsehun]

oh my, im not even sure where to begin answering this - it feels like @timetoresurface has written me a letter

I should probably say, i think i get more enjoyment out of posting chapters than my readers but thats mostly because i know its going to make someone happy - and if i can ease the burden of anything going on in life right now i will! during my roughest points in life i turned to reading and got happiness from that so to do the same for someone else makes me fell a bit more fulfilled as a person! ill continue to do my hobby for as long as people want to read my hobby, its people like you that make it worth it, i can assure you that! i dont think ill be big, its sweet of you to think that though, this is something i sorta just do for fun - strange fun but fun! 

sehun is as much as a confusion to you all as he was to me when i was originally planning out what he was going to do through this whole fic, you’re right about the feelings though, they arent romantic - to some degree i dont think he realises how fond he comes across because she’s so different to his own world, he’s been very adamant that feelings mean nothing in his job (all the boys have) and so some degree they are a bit stunted emotionally but when you’re put in certain conditions you will not develop like everyone else. Parts of that side of sehun show throughout the chapters, he is too good to her but to him he thinks that he’s treating her like everyone else. 

i mentioned to someone that sehun was going to act a bit out of character this chapter, the car ride and the fact he’s a bit more jovial than normal are where he’s acting out of character - but i will say, she is still afraid of him, you sort of have to be, regardless of this fic he’s still a powerful man who has shown little regard toward human life; yeah he doesnt want to shed any unneeded blood but that doesnt diminish what he has already done. Baekhyun put it nicely in chapter “A bad man that does a good deed isn’t a good man” and thats very much true for everyone in this fic. I dont want their crimes to be forgotten and swept under the rug! 

sehun and jeonghwa in the private room was interesting and something i wasnt going to originally add in, but i did and you’re going to see more of a past between those two soon - there’s a lot to unpack there! 

chanyeol, the idiot that he is got separated from baek (stay tuned for next chap), im not going to comment on his state or what will/wont happen to him cause i enjoy watching you all squirm ;) maybe the reader will do something dumb, maybe she wont, she’s not got the strongest track record - maybe she could call her doctor in training ex-boyf? who really knows! but poor yeol, poor man hasnt a clue what he’s done or really who he’s speaking to, someone might wanna put a bandaid on him or sumn ;) 

chapter 7 is going to be interesting, i mentioned before however that chapter 8 is going to be the start of something and honestly, i think you all might wet yourself from excitement - some fun fun stuff is gonna happen and it might even get a little steamy soon ;) 

honestly, im a writer than can push herself out of writers block fairly quickly, i always have inspiration for something and i fully aim to finish this fic! i have plans beyond this what im not ready to speak about but they’ll be great, trust me. 

i do get that alot about how i should have x amount of reblogs/likes and honestly the number isnt something that i really care for and never really will - i have what i deserve and what other people think i deserve and thats enough for me, if i can make one person have a nice day by reading what i wrote then thats all i really need, there’s hundreds of talented writers on this platform and i can think of a few that deserve so much more than what they have, im thankful for the small “fanbase” born to die has, i posted it on a whim and i didnt think people would be interested in it truly. the readers are the best part of this fic, like yourself, you’re all so engaging and willing to talk and converse with me about my story and i am eternally thankful for that! 

ill write for as long as i can, and ive already been going a few years so i think we’re good ;) thank you for being so lovely to me, and if you do print it out for your grandkids ill happily sign it for you ;) 

stay safe my love! your happiness and healthiness means a lot to me too x 

Born to Die| OSH | 06

pairing: Oh Sehun x Reader genre: Mafia!Sehun rating: 18+ warnings: violence, gun use, mature language, smut (in future chapters), slow burn. words: 13.4k summary: a collusions of worlds is supposed to kill, but what if it can do something else? A/N: chapter 06, who would of thought huh? i certainly didn’t think anyone would care about this fic to begin with but here we are… 6 chapters in and 14 left to go! I hope you all enjoy, remember feedback is appreciated so drop into my askbox, lets chat ;)

TW// Warning this part contains some material that might be sensitive to readers as it depicts scenes of blood and violence, readers discretion is advised.

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[randisnotonfire-blog]

I think I don’t deserve you... Peter Parker X Reader cont.

Summary: The aftermath of Peter telling you he had feelings for you in a certain way is a mess.You finally get to see him at school, but Ned and Mj are suspicious because you and Peter have not been ‘Close’ since last night.You are trying to fight off your feelings about this event, which soon your dad and the entire Avengers team finds out about.

Warnings:Fluff,angst,all in all just basic highschool drama lol, cringe, flash being a dickhead, light cursing, and der is a suprise near the end of the story! :)

A/n: Yeee so this wasnt requested at ALL, and yes this is a continuation of my fan fic “You know he might kill you...?”. So...This is going to be a series probably, Im still planning it out since it just started. Im hoping this is gonna be a long fan fiction, but it might not be because im typing this out like 3 hours before i go to sleep. With school coming up for me, I have school in 14 days ugh, Im obviously not gonna be uploading fan fictions every week. So I hope you enjoy! Leave a comment what your reaction was and all that other stuff!

(Not my gif)

You had struggled to get up out of your bed to get ready for the dreaded school. Soon enough you had heard a knock on your bedroom door with the following voice of your dad. “Y/n I know you hate school but you cant live in your bed forever, now get ready!” You got up off of your bed and responded to your dad then went to go change your clothes.You had put on your favorite outfit that you had planned the night before to wear, then put on your shoes. Deciding whether or not to wear makeup you just quickly put on winged eyeliner and left your room. You went onto the elevator which sent you to the kitchen space, walking over to the island counter you were greeted by Steve and Natasha. ‘Hey’ they mumbled as they continued to do their thing, you grabbed a apple and started to eat it until you were cut off by Natasha.”Last night why were you talking to Peter?” She said to you,”He could not sleep last night..Why you asking?” You had responded back to her.”Just asking...” Natasha mumbled as you continued to eat. Soon enough your dad walked in,”Is that really what your gonna wear Y/n?” Tony asked you as he looked at your outfit. “Jeez Tony leave the girl alone she is only is high school!” Steve said as he looked up from his laptop.”What ever” You heard your dad mumble.”Oh and Y/n your taking the bus to school since its raining” He said yet again.”Cool” you had muttered as you quickly left the room trying to avoid any awkward conversations. You went to go to the elevator but you saw Peter, “H-hey, how are you?” He spoke softly as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Good...Im sorry about last night” you blurted out loud then you heard him chuckle in a somewhat ironic tone, “Why are you sorry...Wait didn’t I say we should talk about this at school?” he reminded you, you could tell he was in a somewhat joyful mood.”Yeah...” You said then the elevator opened and he left to go to his room. “Wait..Um Peter? Are you taking the bus to school? Because I was wondering if you wanted to sit together?” You asked him quietly. “Yeah..yeah sure” he responded as he walked to his room. Once you walked into your room noticing you had enough time to do your hair, you went into your bathroom and put your hair in double dutch braids. You walked out turned off some of the lights, grabbed your back pack then headed out to the bus stop.

         You were confused as to why Peter seemed somewhat happy after the rejection he got last night by his best friend. It was like he was trying to hide the fact that any of this had happened, but you kind of enjoyed it. You didn’t want him to feel depressed because he was always happy and a awkward little nerd. Once you were at the bus stop you quickly went to go find a seat on the bus because you didn’t to ruin your hair or makeup. (Now that i typed that I think its stupid that some girls actually focus more on what they look like and if their hair and makeup gets ruined, but ey thats just my opinion ;3) You specifically choose a seat in the back because you knew Peter liked sitting in the back, away from all the chaos. You set your stuff down then quickly Peter spotted you and sat next to you.”Hey..Wait how is your clothes not wet nor is your hair?” He asked you which made you giggle.”Ummm I don’t know? I protected myself from the rain?” You responded and he chuckled. You both just chatted the entire ride to school but both tried to ignore what happened last night. Peter mainly talked about what he does as his job as ‘Spider-Man’ he would describe the fight scenes and when it was your turn to speak you would just gossip about the romance between some of the Avengers and the teachers at your school. You had finally got to your school and you both left the bus and walked to your lockers.

When you walked up to your locker you had lost Peter, but you knew he probably went off to go to his locker or to find Ned.You sighed then suddenly got startled by Flash walking up to you and tapping your shoulder. You had always been easily scared, Peter use to purposely scare you because he thought it was cute.”What do you want flash” You groaned slightly since you knew he liked you but was always a bitch about it.You turned around to look at him as you closed your locker after you got what you needed for your next class.He had a cheeky grin on his face once you looked at him,”So Y/n? Got anyone to go with for Homecoming?” Flash asked you.”Ugh..Seriously Flash..You know I will never be interested in you!” You had told him, you knew he would always know your same response to anything romantic between you and him.”Well...Its probably because you have been hanging out with Penis Parker more often than you should...” Flash muttered to you, acting as if you were totally interested in him.”No its not because of that Flash...And don’t call him that name...Its rude..” He had sighed and then walked away as if he was defeated, you smiled when his presence was gone.”Finally” You told yourself, then walked to class. Your first 2 class periods went by in a vibrant and quickly way, but now it was time for science class with Peter.You both had loved science class since it was one of the many things you both were interested in.You walked into the class after you got your stuff from your locker, you walked in and saw Peter already setting up the lab for this class.

               You quickly walked over to him and sat down next to him,”Hey Y/n” Peter muttered as he was concentrated with putting the right things in place for the lab.”Hi...Okay so when do you want us to talk...? We can talk after school if thats okay with you..I just need to go dress shopping with Liz for Homecoming...since its coming up soon” You had said quickly which got his attention.”Or we can talk during lunch...Well after school is better though. But if your busy I understand Y/n” Peter responded.The science teacher got somewhat frustrated with you and Peter talking so she gave you a warning,making you both shut up quickly. The next 2 classes went by smoothly, which led to it being lunch time now. You walked over to your locker and put all your stuff away, leaving your last class period text books and notebooks untouched. You heard some loud yells and chants, which made you worried. “Y/n! Come here you need to see this!” Liz said as she grabbed your wrist and made you follow her until you discovered the fight that was going on! “Great” You mumbled to yourself, you quickly moved up closer to see who was fighting who.”What the hell!” You saw Peter and Flash fighting over something, “Who would even like a Penis Parker like you!” Flash hissed at Peter. It broke your heart to see Peter fighting, you never wanted him to get hurt over something this stupid.”Yeah well atleast im close to first base with her” Peter yelled at Flash.”Liz can you go get a teacher or someone?!“ You asked Liz, she nodded and then quickly left to go find someone to break up the fight.”Parker, your never gonna get to first base with anyone.With your luck and looks! I bet your the one who killed your uncle!” Flash said in a abrasive tone. (Abrasive means:Showing little concern for the others feelings,harsh) You had, had enough of this. You knew that they were fighting over you! This was stupid why would they fight over something this silly and stupid! “Stop it! Your both acting like fucking assholes!” You yelled at them which brought their attention towards you.”Your lucky a freaking teacher didn’t discover this!” You hissed at both of them. You quickly walked into the circle that was formed and grabbed Peters hand.”Come on” You said annoyed, you dragged him out of the fight and walked into a guest bathroom.

              He sat down on the counter top in the bathroom as you dug through your back pack for your mini first aid kit, “What the actual fuck peter! what were you thinking!? Aunt May is going to kill you if she finds out about this!” You consulted him.”L-look im sorry Y/n! Flash was acting like a dick head towards me..He was saying stuff about me and you..How could I not defend myself?” You could see the pain in his voice, which killed you to see him this mad about someone acting this way.”Im sorry...” He said one more time, you quickly put bandages on anywhere he got hurt/cut by Flash.”I-its okay Peter..” You said as you hugged him. You rested your head on the crook of his neck as he wrapped his hands around your waist. After a while you let go and put your first aid kit away and threw away the wrappers of anything that fell from the packages. You leaned in and kissed him. (Shocker?) This surprised him, he then gave in and kissed you back. This wasn’t your first kiss though...When you first met he had kissed you, but always liked you up until now.”Y-y/n...I feel like I don’t deserve you...” This had shocked you when you heard those words escape from him.”W-what?” You seemed worried, you didn’t him to let you go this easily. “Im sorry Y/n” Peter said as he left the bathroom leaving you to have small tears form a river on your face.You thought he was just kidding or something like that...But no...He was actually leaving your life after your first real kiss. “This cant happen” You said to your self.This is something Peter would never do.

To be continued...

(Not my gif, hoped you enjoyed!)