#wasn't thinking about colors or anything
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halloweewee
#redraw of an older drawing#:3c#xiaoven#genshin impact#fanart#my art#i was feeling kind of nostalgic#wasn't thinking about colors or anything#just drawing my two favorite sillies
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Was working on something before I forgot that I can't fucking draw.
Yeah this is what a grown-ass adult's art should look like, this is the quality expected of someone whose been drawing since they could grasp a pencil. This measly scribble is worth 2 days of effort using all my free time.
#I hate myself#not to blog post or anything but my life is so stressful and I think that if I was good at drawing and churning out drawings quickly and#beautifully on the daily/weekly..#If I was like the thousands of foreign 12 year old prodigies on instagram with perfect anatomy on a mere sketch#or the soul-sellers on pixiv uploading 200 fully colored drawings at once#all my problems would be solved.#Im so hateful and it's all towards myself. I'm so painfully envious of things I'll never have...#...like a cock or artistic skill. If I wasn't so scared of not existing (to the point where thinking about it makes me physically ill)#l would have ended my shit already. But here I am.#So take this stupid ugly fucking Shane I tried to draw at midnight after a 10 hour shift. You're here to see bellies-#-not me bitching and moaning. Matter of fact I'll probably delete this part later. Whatever.#What is my fucking problem??#Enjoy what little I'm able to give. All I want is to share my thoughts and ideas and concepts and I can barely even do that.#I think I am going to pass out typing this so uh#see you later when I regret this post and delete this part haha#If I even remember#self post#Drawing#tummy kink#stomach ache#bloated belly
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idk man
#neon genesis evangelion#evangelion#nge#nge asuka#asuka langley soryu#my art#evangelion fanart#is this anything#it's very sloppy i know#upd. i decided to be proud of this one no matter how sloppy it looks#this image came to me randomly while i was on my way to work#wasn't even thinking about eva at that moment#the whole image just appeared in my mind and i knew i had to draw it#i felt this could be a wonderful coloring practice#and looking at the final result it came out pretty close to what i had imagined#it's nice I'm going to take pride in this#still need to learn anatomy tho
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an/other thing/s, Of Course
rifling through things again going like "oh yeah, That" & "hmm making connections. great work, me" & "huzzah forgot that entirely / what a delight as always to revisit things" & Pointing these couple times
reminded of wondering "wait did another sibling die in infancy or are they always just out of frame, infantly. or is their mom coincidentally babysitting at the moment" and in a real feat was like alright a wiki sure might have these answers, i'll open it & look things up. indeed telling me an infant hannah was a sibling, died. then going "oh right you're telling me What lmfaooo" re: the wiki's timeline asserting that Mordecai's First Murder(tm) was four years before the fleeing on a train incident?? murder of "opportunism and revenge" like What is going on there lmao, a lot at once, apparently. providing more of a quote that i'm just taking for granted Exists rather than perhaps have to wayback cited sources: "He extorted money from someone who had previously worked for and who had, in a way, betrayed him and indirectly cost his already depleted family a great deal. What he managed to get from this individual was a frustrating pittance, though, so believing himself to be smarter and more capable, he murdered him and took his place as a relatively minor player in a larger criminal network. He used the to position to embezzle money from higher-ups, at first to make up for what was lost and later, because he could. Eventually, inevitably, he got caught." that little Mystery Solving thing where you sure just don't have enough info until you do lmao like What! out here going "starts as a bookkeeper. probably does some embezzling wuh oh" like no way am i inferring "yeah but also previously worked for, indirectly kind of betrayed by some bookkeeper, Got His Ass i.e. killed and replaced him like hello yes it's me, That Guy? working remotely? what Comedy played out in replacing him lmfao and Then embezzles and Then gets in trouble for that" like hello!!! amazing. another win for looking things up ever after all.
which does kind of ramp things up, also. figured "i do remember mordecai's dad died at some point in his childhood & the entire poor tenement living conditions issue & combining that & general socioeconomicpolitical factors it's like well yeah sure so he gets into bookkeeping for perhaps less than legitimate(tm) enterprises, does some less than Definitely Not Embezzling" was motivation for things enough, sure, then like oh uh hello murder years before fleeing??? but add in a sibling dying for increased sense of insecurity and some kind of especial acute crisis specifically uponst this family by some specific party Fucking Around like ah right sure. doling the Finding Out and more broadly being in tempestuous situations always from some point onwards, gotcha.
and well the only thing about the little atlas & mordecai photograph is "oh right i forgot there was that photograph of these two" and the other remarkable point being like, can't really think of another time mordecai is ever shown so Wide Eyed in a "neutral" mode of being. rather than elevatedly bothered, whether at the level of "quite unsettled &/or irritated" or the level quite above that of "trying to kill someone before they kill him and it's extra tricky / urgent" which is very neat of him (to shift o_o mode for that, namely. thank you mordecai for the Drama as always. real [!] visuals) and it's like, maybe it's to cue his being younger? sure has real I'm Baby design, even with also "yeowch. sharp" and resting bitch face design, additionally. complimentary. was gonna be like "sure don't know when it was taken or how quickly this particular of the job was further presented to him, but maybe it's about having a few dozen fewer kills under his belt or something. but like damn never mind even getaway train mordecai was like been there, ["you son of a bitch i told you i'd do it. you're next (i'm referring to a specific post edit lmao. but you can imagine)"]'d that....still perhaps several dozen fewer kills and, you know, kind of a wash to consider the specifics beyond that when it's like sure maybe that'd make him look unhappier in pictures or maybe there's reaching the point of having to adjust to that new norm here. rather than that even with motivation, probably baby's first murder is more difficult than the implicit second through fourth required to Not Be Killed himself. or maybe not. much to consider; all speculative. maybe it's another impromptu unexpected snapshot. maybe he's glad to take a pic with just atlas &/or doing so feels more like a Portrait & this is still his Portrait Face. presumably he wouldn't have had many, or any at all, taken in years. and atlas mustering half a half smile like another giddily joyful day with the boys
#lackadaisy#and only So Related but in actually wayback opening some citations after all#completely different info: someone basically asks ''mordecai gay?'' answer: ''Possible.'' (but not necessarily) let's go happy pride#(actually wasn't presuming that even such Ambiguity would be even semi officially posited lmfao. we're winning.)#(not like i generally expect that anything would be textually relevant for him in the most canon of materials. i.e. main story)#(let's go less ambiguous Acespec as well yippee wahoo)#(oh and also in rifling around sometimes getting to go =] at remarks from the past in a fun context now re: animation goings on)#the full color test of panels when mitzi walks into the speakeasy & chats w/viktor. we'll see if anything comes of it. sure will#some question about would a network ever pick up an animated version do you think / haha not going to happen (which. technically yeah)
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GO ON AND STEP ON ME
#dnd#dungeons & dragons#dnd character#dnd art#oc#oc art#original character#artists on tumblr#wasn't sure if i liked her color palette or not so i had to draw her in a fit of despair to decide#she's an npc from a campaign i've been sort of on and off working on for a couple years#this doesn't really. mean anything for her character i just think its fun to draw people crying and sobbing#also. step on me by the cardigans just sort of has her vibes#tumblr wont let me talk about how im procrastinating working on another campaign i have to run later this week#or it attacks my post with hammers#pastedraw.png#kishara.log#pasteocs.dmp
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:/
#A good episode. Nice animation. It's suuuuuuch a shame things had to go downhilla right for episode 3 like... That's such an awful timing#And I'm like very evry positive I'm not making stuff up. I will let drawings quality slide since that's a matter of personal taste#But the animation is infinitely more static in ep3.#There's endless shots (that literally span for minutes. I know I've counted) where nothing happens. It's so hhhhhhhhhhhh#(Btw for anyone who forgot / wasn't there at the time: the first 3 season 5 episodes had to be ready earlier for an early screening.#That's why they had to rush to make them and the quality suffered for it in the last episode in particular.)#Sorry for being redoundant but you know how it is. I'm ss/kk-manifesto. I'll be complaining about s5ep3 till the end of Tumblr#Back to the real ep1 in question... It was so nice!!!#I take issues with the amv opening because seriously. Don't release a season if you're not ready to release a season. No one will get mad#But other than that the animation and drawings were very nice. This arc makes me a little emotional.#It's funny how you can see the anime editing staff gradually get really into chromatic aberration lol.#Like it's always been present as far as I can remember–#but it went from season 1 being used very sporadically to s5ep1 being used in every single shot lol.#It's okay tho it's not bothersome the slightest. It gives some kinf of depth to the shot I suppose.#Even funnier that Harukawa has been using it a lot in their last colour illustrations as well ahah.#Last chapter it was very noticeable both in the chapter cover and color page#Mmmmhhhh...#When Atsushi says “I know where Kamui-san is! He's in the middle of an assassination!”; isn't that a kind of plot hole?#I don't think in reality Fukuchi was killing anyone at all at that point.#And even if Ranpo says otherwise‚ looking back we can be fairly certain that Fukuchi never plotted to seriously assassinate the ada#Idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#There's some little lines from the manga I was missing this episode. The “I hate dealing with this decay member the most”.#The “Great! Anything you want! Just say ‘I want this case solved’ and I'll step right up and—”.#I know it's really nothing at all / perfectly understandable cuts...#But at the same time they really add to the overall pacing and make the story flow much more enjoyable for me (≧▽≦)#random rambles
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finally did my goddamn dishes. and that wasn't all i managed to do today. fuck yeah.
had a meeting for thesis prep. bmv trip. rough plan for friday's discussion lecture. cooked dinner for the first time in like 3 weeks. read ~50 pages of academic text for 2 classes and a paper revision.
feels like i didn't do enough but. considering that yesterday i managed... going to classes and nothing else! and monday i was only capable of doing the required meetings i had, this is a pretty good day!
#it's been. a tough few weeks. i couldn't focus at all last week. only got work done on the weekend. yesterday was........ tough.#monday wasn't as rough but was equally exhausting#so! proud of myself that i got. stuff done. big stuff even!#started keeping a task/reward journal to help out too :)#so every night i'll write out some tasks that need to get done the next day#and as i finish them i check them off and give myself silly little stickers to track what i managed!#so i get like. 1 sticker per 10 pages read (bc i usually need a break every 10 or so pages rn) 1 sticker in a diff color for chores.#1 for teaching stuff (laying out a lecture plan/finishing the lecture/doing a dry run/doing the lecture) 1 for meetings etc etc#it's helping bc i have a dumbass brain that doesn't give me dopamine for completing tasks anymore#it all gets lumped into 'yeah i did the bare minimum bc that's what i need to do. that's not special-#-no reward for you! you didn't really *do* anything. just scraped bare minimum!'#turns out that's bad for you lmao to get No Rewards#so i have a journal now! so i have hard proof that shows that i've Done Shit.#and i think the last two weeks i've been 1. underfed 2. overtired and 3. on the verge of burnout#so i haven't been able to do much. but a major stressor is gone now! (the bmv trip...)#and it like. immediately lifted a veil from my brain. 0-60 in like 40 minutes flat.#i hadn't realized how stressed about that i'd even been. it was taking up so much of my brain's metaphorical CPU.#so i'm hoping tomorrow i'll be able to do what i was doing two weeks ago. just plugging along at my usual pace#instead of just barely dragging my carcass forward#so! anyway. update that was unasked for but you sure are getting#i fuckin did stuff today! fuck yeah!#it is now an hour past my bedtime i'm gonna crash tf out. bedtime. sleepytime. good night
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Very strange outfit that is sort of like.. a mix of my current style (pattern mixing, pom poms, fun sandals) combined with how I dressed when I was like 10 years old. The stereotypical skelanimals hoodie vest and the skull t-shirt lol..
#self#kit the cat you will always be famous#all that like 2004 - 2008 emo & scene fashion is kind of like goth fashion in that I largely am not into it really but ALSO I can respect#elements of the aesthetic. Especially pattern mixing. plaid with stripes?? with checker print also?? Very cool. Less with scene stuff since#the patterns were all like#animal prints which was worse hghjbjh.. cheeta print with zebra print with checkers is a little weirder. I think I just don't like animal#prints though. Striped parts of hair are cool though still actually to me unironically like. If it wasn't so associated with sceney stuff#still I would maybe have some stripes lol#Googling skelanimals now most of it is unappealing to me but there are a few things that are cool. there's a jacket that has stripes and#heart print mixed together. Do I just really like pattern mixing?? ghbjhbhj.. that seems like the qualification.#T-shirt? no . boring. I hate it. Will never wear it. Same exact t-shirt in the same exact style except part of it is floral and the other pa#rt is striped and it also has like lace lining or something so it's more detailed looking? wow . perfect. I love it.#Silly skull animal hoodie in plain black? boring. no. never. Same hoodie but now each sleeve is a diferent pattern? Wow.. truly amazing#I can be won over by anything that's gaudy/busy/over complicated. That quote about like ''once you think your outfit is perfect remove one#more accesory'' or whatever about minimalism and not overcomplicating a look except the opposte. Once you think your outfit is perfect add 8#more items. also they all should be different patterns. hghjbhj#ANYWAY.. I do like some of the concepts of some of the older fashion. Like t-shirt over a long sleeve shirt and they're both different#patterns. and then a skirt that's a different pattern. and some tights or socks that are also assymetrical or some like complimentary#other pattern. Stripes + plaid especially. Famous combination. And the having like 667495789789 little plastic bracelets. No idea what was#up with that since I'm too socially out of touch especially when I was in school (I remember hearing that like some colors#of bracelet mean different things or something) but it was an interesting aesthetic. And the wrist bands#The t-shirt is from walmart from when I think I wasnt even in middle school yet still late elementary school and I remember thinking it was#the coolest thing ever because usually you had to go to hot topic or something to get clothes with skulls on them. And it's so so weird look#ing like. the colors?? are ugly and shouldnt work but actually I still kind of like the aesthetic. green with pink and weird mustardy yellow#and gray??? Maybe I only like it because it has different patterns (skulls + checkers + dots + hearts)#Anyway it's a really funny t-shirt to me. One of those weird items that is captivating for some reason#And the hoodie I actually owned a long time ago too. but I think I got it later. I had one other skelanimals thing which was a jacket and it#was like 5 sizes too big for me which I loved. And I remember being really obsessed with the font they used on their tags and trying to#replicate writing that way. not the newer gothy one. but the old logo font like.. it looks like Curlz MT or something lol
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looking at my older paintings and thinking, ah. back then I believed in using ALL the colors
#a butterfly obsesses#that isn't necessary a bad thing in general#but I didn't know anything about color palettes like matching or limiting them#like. it wasn't an informed decision it didn't help achieve what I wanted to#I wish a teacher had confiscated all but maybe three colors for an assignment to make me stretch my art muscles#but no one stopped me and I just . . . kept adding colors#which I now see made the paintings kind of flat and cluttered#I'm just thinking about this because lately I've been doodling with colored pencils and it's such a contrast#using two or three colors only in a doodle#I'm not down on myself i'm just musing
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I know he loves the blonde but I can't believe how little art I've seen of Teru with outrageously neon hair colors. Like, come on. He's a dramatic gay 14-year-old with no adult supervision. We've all seen how he dresses. He already bleaches it. You cannot convince me that he hasn't made at least a few questionable late-night decisions with a bottle of drugstore dye.
#'maybe it's against school dress code' do you think he cares?#he can always slap a haystack over it#anyway if i wasn't cursed i would write a silly little oneshot#where the kids have a hair dye party#(mob does a few small streaks and has a good time.#shou makes ritsu help him to do some sort of overambitious stripe design#ritsu does not do anything to his hair and is horrified by the general goings-on.#tome has an extensive argument about what color will make her the most attractive to aliens and ends up dying her whole head green.#teru will never get his security deposit back. it's so worth it.)#mp100
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worst thing ever is when someone says something about people in general which is both true for you and not insulting at all because you weren't aiming to clear whatever bar they were talking about in the first place. but you can't agree because then it sounds like you're like being self-deprecating or upset or whatever when actually it's just like yeah you're right i'm not trying to and as a result i do not. lol
#red rambles#<- his ass is not a character designer and at all turns will claim to be a bad character designer. because he does not have the interest#in spending time coming up with compelling and interesting character designs. so if he agrees his designs are not very good this#is a measured fact and furthermore one he is very okay with because he's just putting his efforts elsewhere#this is okay#we are allowed to do this#and then if someone is like Hey these designs are uhhh. idk lets go with not very diverse. bc yeah mine aren't. that's true#i wasn't thinking abt like body types or w/e because i was going for color coding and vague Types of Guys over anything else. good call!#and then other people try and DEFEND ME ??? like no!!!! shut up!!!!!!!!!#this isnt about anyone here this is about a conversation i had like two weeks ago with a couple friends on discord
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Making 3 AM doodles and thinking that if I hyperfixate on puss in boots 2 hard enough I could potentially fool myself into learning spanish
#it's probably because it's late but I dunno sometimes I do get the urge to learn a third language#and spanish would be useful if anything potentially not that difficult also like I have the grammatical basis from school#I always remember helping my little brother memorize colors in spanish for a test... he was so happy about that#my parents struggled for hours and I decided to goof off and make puns or references outta them since it's always helped me w memorization#and it worked and honestly wasn't that long ago and I am getting so carried away#but yeah I think there's potential there studying something new like that could be fun lol#Void fala aí#it would be such a terrible idea in practice tho I think lmao like I already mix words up enough with only two languages
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🐺 moon-moon4w00 Follow
Friendly reminder that asking your lycan partner to turn you is incredibly insensitive! Seriously can we retire this trope already? Not only is it just offensive, but no one would ever actually choose this life! Lycanthropy is a curse. Full stop.
🐾 superhowllock69 Follow
Ok user "moon-moon" as if that original meme wasn't created to mock pack nomenclature 🙄
Anyway I'm not gonna touch that internalized lycanphobia with a ten foot pole. Being turned by your partner is something that can be incredibly intimate as long as both parties are consenting and the one being turned is 100% sure they want it. Literally the only downside to transforming once a month is the pain, but midol works just fine. No one with these "lycanthropy bad" takes ever wants to discuss the legitimate positives that come with this "curse" lmao.
🐺 moon-moon4w00 Follow
I'm literally reclaiming moon moon but go off I guess. Anyways turning your partner is absolutely disgusting and morally reprehensible and anyone who does it should be muzzled permanently.
🌜 impawssible Follow
lmao my wife literally saved my life when she turned me but i guess she should be muzzled huh? we run through the woods hunting deer together and can each haul in groceries in one trip now, but nooo she's obviously a danger to society because she cares enough about me to help me when insurance wouldn't cover my medicine
also it was confirmed that the creator of that meme literally makes and sells silver bullets so if you still wanna use moon moon for yourself that certainly is a choice. source: (X)
🦴 pupperoni Follow
I love that instead of naming the more common benefits of lycanthropy, you mentioned that you and your wife can carry all the groceries in one trip. I think that's definitely a positive that gets overlooked far too often and I commend you for speaking your truth, sir
🌜 impawssible Follow
lol thanks but I'm a woman 😅
🦴 pupperoni Follow
🦇 count-fuckula Follow
Plus werewolf blood tastes way better and is as filling as 10 humans 👍
🐺 moon-moon4w00 Follow
Oh my GOD you vampblr freaks will just flock to anything. It clearly says "vamps DNI" in my bio!
🐾 superhowllock Follow
lmaoooo of course you're a vampire exclusionist
🌕 daddy-fenris Follow
wasn't OP the same guy who said fursuits were offensive to lycanthropes and doxxed a werewolf fursuiter?
🐺 moon-moon4w00 Follow
They ARE offensive and harmful to this community and I'm tired of pretending they're not. They perpetuate harmful depictions of what a humanoid wolf is actually like.
🌜 impawssible Follow
me when I dox someone for making candy colored animal costumes that look nothing like what a real werewolf does
🦴 pupperoni Follow
K
🌕 daddy-fenris Follow
U
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so august 2018 is when my peak being-crazy-made art craziness happened, huh
#and then as soon as i left that situation all of my art became normal again lmao#i went from drawing weird cryptic things that quite literally would only ever make sense to me#to just. drawin landscape stuff like normal again sdhvfdvghsd#i mean there a couple cryptic things here n there after but like. not nearly as cryptic at all. like you could p much easily make out what#is trying to be conveyed. the other shit is like. nothing. you couldn't understand unless I had to explain everything that happened#gotta say guys doing shrooms and being abused do not mix well at all#bc when im not being abused and im on shrooms shit is great. im feeling lit. all i wanna do is draw nature stuff#but that moment in my life? phew...#vent#i literally thought I died. like i literally thought I wasn't actually alive and I was in some mirror version of earth that was the#underworld-- so much happened. its kind of distressing to think about all the weird fucking visions i got#and its not even like it was always like that when I did shrooms with that person- initially in the love-bombing phase I was fine.#all of my art from then looks pretty fuckin normal save for ig more colorful stuff and trippy patterns or whatever. but otherwise fine#if anything it enhanced my art#its only after the gaslighting and the putting me down and the withdrawing love shit started happening that i just like. snapped.#idek. it was all so surprising to me because they really did convince me they loved me.#not only all of that abuse-- also the enabling my conspiracy theory brain too which didn't help#which ironically my art didn't have much do to with actual conspiracy theories but the mindset was implemented in to me so#there was a lot of weird delusions and paranoia and just like. stuff that didn't make sense but also did if I explained it?? idek#there was like a consistent story to my weird visions but it didn't make sense also. like there was no real reason for things to be what#they were or look the way they did or whatever#but there Was a consistent story still#its something i *want* to encapsulate into maybe a comic or picture book or something but like. idek if i could encapsulate it all#theres so many bits and pieces that idek if i could fully convey- idk#dawg even my stuff from after my couple of 'acid' trips wasn't as confusing and cryptic as the stuff after being abused#one common theme in a lot of it is its intentionally repelling. every part of my being knew I needed to be away from that person in spite#of how they would pretend to be friendly with me so some of that art is trying to scare them away in a weird cryptic way that tbfh#they probably didn't understand either whenever a pic was trying to do that like what it even was trying to say- thats kinda how fucking#crazy i got from that whole situation. i think part of me felt like that at least if it was vague and unhinged that it would scare them#away idrk. i do think it worked lol. even if it doesnt really fully make sense at all. idk. but 0/10 one of the worst periods of my life
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Everything changed when that pregnancy test read positive.
The day you fumbled into his office, bearing what you thought to be bad news, John's excited face threw you for a loop.
Wasn't he supposed to be upset? Tell you that he didn't want to have a kid with someone he didn't fully care about? Why was he crying? Why did he embrace you so tenderly?
"I'll be there for both of you, Dovie," Price reassures in the nook of your neck, arms caging you against his chest.
Take care of both of you.
Both?
"M-Mr. Price, with all due respect—"
Price cuts off your protests. He leads you out of his office. His large hand grips your waist more possessively. "Go rest your feet up in the lounge; I'll take care of everything." His lips press to the crown of your head, ushering you away gently at the reception entrance.
You were supposed to have one fun night, not to be locked in for the rest of your lives.
Your days of working at a desk were replaced with John's house. It was far from the bustling base you had grown used to. The space was warm and homey. Bits of memorabilia were scattered about. Medals adorned the walls, and old photos sat on the shelves.
John said you only have one job now: making yourself at home.
There was so much space that you didn't know where to start or even how to start! It's not like there was a plan for having your boss's child! So much was happening so fast it left you overwhelmed, sitting on his couch with nervous hands. "Mr. Price, I'm really not sure about all this; I mean... what we did was a big mistake, right?"
From upstairs, you hear John laugh. He's been up there all morning, fixing the nursery for your child. He wanted to create a special room for them, saying that his kid deserves nothing but the best. Heavy footsteps announce his presence as he closes the distance between you. Calloused fingers grip your chin, forcing you to look into his ocean eyes. "You don't want this?"
His touch has you melting, words dying on your lips as you get lost in those eyes. God, why did he look at you that way? Churning like laundry, your gut writhes. A violent spin cycle grips your innards, knotting and wrenching them mercilessly. "I never—I never said that; I just think we're taking things too fast, don't you?" The half-hearted mumble escapes your lips, unconvincing even to yourself.
John's expression shifts; his eyebrow raises in slight scrutiny. "If you believed that, you wouldn't be here."
He's right.
"I do-"
He cuts in swiftly, voice firm. "You don't."
John's grasp tightens on your chin. He leans in, eyes intense. Your heart races. His lips brush yours. The kiss—chaste yet electric. A moment suspended in time. Emotions flood through you both, unspoken but palpable. "You have me. Whatever you want is yours, all you have to do is say the word."
John waits, poised for your word. His eyes betray a craving—silent, deep, and raw.
He belongs to you. He's all yours.
Your lips purse in a line, lip caught between your teeth.
Anything you want?
"I don't like the color of the nursey..."
─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
P1
❥ I wasn't originally gonna do a part 2 but... I really like this one, next fic will be longer, possibly fluff and smut maybe who knows ❥
#captain price x reader#captain price#captain john price#john price#call of duty#cod x reader#sunshine sunni
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I promised you some lions! Let's talk about manes, males, and management.
This is Tandie, the current male lion at the Woodland Park Zoo.
Notice anything odd about him? He's got one of those hilarious awkward teenager manes. Except... this cat is nine years old.
I was, of course, immediately curious.
Manes serve a lot of purposes for male lions, including being an indicator of health and fitness - it's actually a sexually selected trait and a social signal. Mane texture / hair quality / length is dependent on nutrition and the body having energy to grow (and carry around!) that much hair! The color is also a signal: males with darker manes have been found to have higher testosterone levels.
In one research report, wild males were much more likely to avoid a lion decoy when it had a longer or darker mane - but the girls really loved a dark mane. It's thought this is because a long, dark mane is an indicator of mate quality. Males with longer, darker manes have higher testosterone and were pretty healthy: meaning they had more energy for fighting, had a better chance of recovering if they got injured, and generally had a higher rate of offspring survival. Manes matter!
So, back to Tandie. He was actually born at the Woodland Park Zoo in 2014 alongside two brothers, to dad Xerxes and mother Adia.
This was Xerxes (rip).
Obviously, a very large, dark, lush mane on Xerxes here. So where did these blond muttonchops come from on his son?
I asked the zoo docents and got an answer that didn't make a lot of sense. They told me that after the three cubs grew into adolescents, they were moved to the Oakland Zoo together. But living together suppressed his testosterone, and he never grew a mane.
Hmmmm.
Here's a photo from 2016, when the brothers debuted at Oakland. They're a year and a half old in this photo.
(Photo Credit: Oakland Zoo)
And here's from an announcement for their third birthday.
(Photo credit: Oakland Zoo)
Okay, so these dudes obviously all were growing manes as of 2017. I think Tandie is the one on the left in the first photo, and laying down in the middle on the second. What happened?
I was just in the Bay Area for a zoo road trip, of course I went to Oakland and tracked down a docent to ask some questions.
It turns out that shortly after the brothers turned three, they started acting like adult male lions: they started scuffling regularly. It's a normal social thing for male lions to live in groups, called coalitions, but according to my lion experts there's generally a baseline level of some social jostling within them. It wasn't quite clear from what the docent said if they couldn't manage the boys together, or if they just wanted to avoid the scratches and small wounds that result from normal lion behavior. Regardless, they put all three of the boys on testosterone blockers in order to be able to keep them together as a social group.
Now, I don't know a lot about the use of hormone alteration as a form of captive animal management, except in the case of birth control. I don't think it's something that's unethical - there was just a webinar on it that I saw go by - but I don't think it's commonly done with big cats. Lions have kind of complicated reproductive cycles, and for instance, we've been learning that female lions can take much longer to come into estrus again than expected after coming off hormonal birth control.
In males, testosterone blockers (or being neutered) means they lose their manes. This is why a lot of rescues will do a vasectomy on their males instead of a neuter - it allows them to keep their mane and the social signals that accompany it.
Tandie returned home to Woodland Park Zoo after Xerxes passed in early 2022, and the docent told me all of the lions had been off their blockers "for while." I'd guess those things happened around the same time, since bringing the trio down to a duo at Oakland would reduce some of the social tensions.
Hormones are such interesting things, though. One of Tandie's brothers has a full mane again, and the other is still totally mane-less.
As for Tandie, his mane is growing back in, and it looks like he might rival his dad for length and coloration.
He started here, in February:
Yesterday:
What a difference four months (and maybe proximity to a girl) makes!
#big cats#lion#african lion#big cat behavior#zoo animals#zoo animal welfare#captive animal management#zoos
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