#wasn't sure about posting this because it looks wonky but fuck it

[gretagator]

Ms Paint Beatles doodle I did a few days ago...

[hypnagogics]

doing ellie's makeup? I FEEL LIKE THAT'D BE SO CUTE TY

IMPORTANT. READ THIS FIRST 🇵🇸 AND CLICK HERE TO HELP, IT TAKES 10 SECONDS.

☆:this is adorable omg i <3 fluff. disclaimer: i know absolutely nothing about makeup lol but had fun writing thiss. also fuck ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THIS A LOT EARLIER THAN I MEANT TO. i wanna take this down to edit it some more, embellish it..but don't wish to lose the ask....tumblr lemme private crap when i've misclicked pls. no warnings, just fluff. except not proofread whoops.

doing ellie’s makeup.

a package had just arrived in the mail. you had previously ordered some new products, and were overjoyed about your purchases! needed to try them out, so you got an idea. she wasn't doing anything important right now….surely your artist girlfriend wouldn't mind being the canvas for a change?

“ellie, can I do your makeup??”

you sat down next to her sprawled out form on the couch, scrolling on her phone mindlessly as she shifted to the side to make space for you. she furrowed her eyebrows and didn't look up from her scrolling to murmur, “mmmmm…sure, why not.” you almost jumped for joy, she was going to look so pretty. ellie almost regretted allowing this, but seeing how happy you looked made her melt immediately. “okay wait here.” you went to gather your basket of products, so excited. she put her phone away and waited patiently for you to return. you returned and sat beside her, but that positioning wasn't allowing you to see properly. “lemme sit on you.” she continued laying down and you got on top of her to straddle her waist, laughing at her facial expressions. she wiggled her eyebrows and held onto your hips, thumbs making little circles, “i'm enjoying this.” she said, making your cheeks heat up the smallest touch. you lightly slapped her hands away, “oh shut up, i can't do this well if i'm not like, 3 inches from your face.” “alright, alright princess,” she said through a chuckle, dropping her arms by her sides. still smirking, proud of her jokes. “put this on.” you hand her a ridiculous looking headband, a pink one with a huge bow in the front, to put on to get her soft auburn hair out of her face, and she shoots you a look, but complies anyway. mischievously rubbing your hands together, you search for the base products to apply first. she watches curiously as you set up all the brushes and sponges to give her the makeover of a lifetime. you select one and show it to her, “i'll do this one, its light coverage because i don't wanna cover your freckles. i love them too much to do that.” she nods along, absorbing the information, her cheeks turning a light pink at the compliment. as you apply all the products to her face, she seems so relaxed. you’d honestly expected her to not be a fan, but it was lovely to see her closing her eyes, and just letting you paint her however you so pleased. it was a win/win situation, a sweet moment for both.

you went through most of the routine, and it was time for eye products. making sure to emphasize your point, “okay, stay veeeeery still.” she seemed so at peace, and nodded to say she heard you. you got closer to her, eyeliner pen in hand and as soon as you made contact with her delicate eyelid, her eye started twitching and she burst into giggles. “hey, that tickles.” “ellie stay still, i’ll poke your eye out, cmon, i’m almost done.” “i’m tryin baby.” steadying your drawing hand, and steadying her by holding onto her cheek, slowly but surely you do her eyeliner. it’s uneven and a little wonky because she couldn’t be as still as needed, but charming, if you do say so yourself. and the final step, you pick out your sparkliest lip gloss. as you were applying the finishing touches, she was watching your focus intently, watching your movements so intimately. “there, done.” you finish and lean away from her, inspecting your work. she almost looked like a different person, but the way you’d done it accentuated her features perfectly, and made her green eyes just pop. she looked stellar. lips plump and sparkly, cheeks wonderfully rosy, like a doll. you squealed, “you look so good!!” she batted her mascara covered eyelashes as she sat up closer to you, who’s still on her lap, and pressed a messy kiss to your lips, smearing her gloss everywhere. “ellieeee, wait i gotta fix it.” you fix her lips, holding onto her chin as you do so, and get up so she can visit a mirror to take a look. she gasped, “oh wow.” you watched as she posed and inspected her makeover in front of the mirror, fascinated. “wow, i don’t look like myself��.but i kinda love it." she throws a toothy grin your way. “i’m glad, thanks for letting me els.” she kept inspecting and looking at herself, “y’know, the more i look at this the more i like it. you can practice on me more often if you want.” this made you so happy, she looks great as ever with whatever she decides to do with her appearance, and it was so much fun to do this for her.

[rockstvrdotcom]

Hi! I was the one who recommended the Toby story and I LOVED it! (You're definitely one of my favorites if not my favorite creepypasta writer atm) I was wondering if I could make another request? Y/N trying to top Toby (more in a bratty way than an actual wanting to top way) but little did she know how shitty the day has already been for him because of one of the missions slender had sent on him and he really wasn't in the mood for her shit. And things just get rough from there 🥰 Also if you start an anon list can I be 💤anon?

☆ // IM GONNA FUCK YOU UNTIL YOU'RE SORRY, SWEETHEART! ✿⪼

aww tysm for the sweet words! it really warms my heart knowing you enjoy my writing, and ofc yes i'll add u to my anon list, i never originally planned on making one so ty for the idea!!

im not sure who the artist of the image is, if somebody finds out please tell me so i can credit them! i tried reverse google search but it didnt work D: i found the image on pinterest

im also so sorry for the super late post, shit has been a lil wonky lately and i recently js got my shit together LMAO, ill be back to posting.

CW: rough sex, choking, also degradation, overstimulation, brat taming

you were sat on the couch in the living room of the mansion. the rest of the creepypastas were either out on missions, or doing whatever the hell they were doing. slender was visiting his brothers, so you were all alone, free to do whatever you wanted to.

you sat there, awaiting for a certain someone to return. your hands were inbetween your thighs, rubbing at your clothed pussy. something about the fact that you could possibly get caught by somebody, toby or not, turned you on. but toby was expected to return from his mission first.

right on cue, you heard keys jingling around in the knob of the front door. you quickly repositioned yourself, pretending you were watching tv. the door opens and you turn around, seeing none other than toby. you greeted him, on purposely bending over the couch a little too far so he could see a peak of your boobs, only to be met with a stone cold stare. you were planning to get him to fuck you some way and when you saw him walk past you and into the kitchen, you realized it may be harder than you thought it would.

you trailed behind him, following him into his room. he looked over his shoulder, grunting in annoyance.

you took his shoulders and held him to the wall, leaving gentle and lustful kisses on his neck. you could tell he was bothered by something, yet you decided to continue anyway. you kissed and kissed until you pushed him past his limits. he escaped from your grip, walking away. you could see how tense he was, holding back from lashing out at you.

"i'm not in the mood for your bullshit, (y/n)." he almost yelled, pushing you onto the bed. you flinched, unsure what he was gonna do next. "you want this dick so fucking bad? you're gonna get it. and i'm gonna fuck you so hard until you're really sorry." he growled, flipping you over onto your stomach. he pulled your pants down and you yelped. you could hear the sound of him unzipping his pants.

you whined as you felt him go inside of you with no prep, but it slipped in easy with how wet you were. he thrusted in and out of you, his chest heaved as he fucked the absolute shit out of you. you moaned with each time he went balls deep inside of you, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. this wasn't like the other times you had sex, it was full of anger and frustation, yet lust at the same time.

you clenched around him as you felt his hand wrap around your throat, he took your chin with his other hand and shoved 2 fingers into your mouth. he slammed into you repeatedly while you choked on his fingers. tears streaked down your cheeks. you could feel your orgasm come nearer and nearer, and you whined around his fingers.

you cried out as your pussy spasmed around his thick cock, you came so hard your vision began to become blurry, white spots everywhere. toby still hadn't came yet, fucking you at an even faster pace now. still sensitive from your orgasm, you sob. maybe this was your punishment for bothering him. he leaned over you, still fucking and choking you as hard as he was before. he bit into your neck, almost enough to draw blood, and left kisses around the mark he had left on you.

toby removed his fingers from your mouth and roughly gripped your thighs as he continued to fuck breathy moans out of your mouth. "toby i just came- slow down." you pleaded, eyes watering from the overstimulation.

"shut the fuck up, you wanted this, slut." you almost felt another orgasm come with his words. you whimpered, clenching around him. he grit his teeth, your warm pussy tightening around him was almost enough to send him over the edge. he leaned over you and gripped your cheeks, kissing you roughly as he pounded into you.

his tongue played with yours, he tasted the tears streaking down your face as he bit your lower lip. "fuck, your pussy is so good.." he groaned as he continued to kiss you. you felt him throb inside of you, and you knew he was close.

"shit-" he said between clenched teeth as you felt him release his load inside of you. your eyes rolled back as you both orgasmed simultaneously, his dick twitching as his thrusting came to a stop. he bit at your neck to stop himself from moaning. you buried your face into the sheets.

he lightly squeezed your ass, then put his dick back in his boxers. he picked you up bridal style then placed your head gently on the pillows, pulling the sheets over your naked figure. your eyes fluttered closed as he put his pants back on and left the room.

[danieyells]

hi! any chance you'd be able to post some of kaito's voicelines? I would love to see them <33

Our wanna-be knight and pathetic little best friend! He's just such a good boy lol. . .once again, another one who just wants to go back to a normal life, poor thing. Kaito's very much your vanilla, sweet boyfriend character with no frills attached, aside from his cowardice and his gambling habit of course. And his terrible aim. . . .

Copying all of them over isn't hard now that I've done it twice. Let's do it again for Kaito!

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"{PC}! Over here! Hiya!"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Hey, new message. Better check it out, yeah? Or are you the type who's got like a ton of of unread inbox messages?"

. . .shut up /absolutely that type (and a sincere apology to literally everyone i know for that my adhd doesn't let me read and respond to their messages--)

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"God, please don't make me go on any more missions... It's not like me being there is any help to anyone anyway..."

"Oh yeah, have you been on WickHive yet? Someone leaked next month's cafeteria menu! Oh wait... I-I already told you that, didn't I?!"

"Damn it... I could've taken {PC} to lunch with that money! God, why am I such a moron?!"

"Ask me anything you want to know! I'm pretty savvy when it comes to Darkwick!"

honestly the fact that he's a second year who doesn't wanna be here and doesn't wanna be doing all of this but he still knows like everything about the school is also kinda sus to me. . .surely he'd divest himself from as much of darkwick as possible if he didn't care

"Urgh... Limited time only, you are not my friend... Huh? Oh, I'm on TikTok. I really want this, but I'm pretty broke this month..."

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"Ahem... Testing, testing... Morning! Heh, nailed it... Ack! How long've you been there, {PC}?!"

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Phew, should be safe here... EEEEEEEEEEK! Oh thank god, it's just a cat... I thought he found me..."

romeo oh romeo didn't you get into enough shit for this romeo? just make sure it's not Romeo cat. Because I'm sure it'll tell him somehow--

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Shit, it's Luca… Judging by the outfit he must be going to train. I better bail before he tries to rope me in too…"

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Eeeek?! Oh, it's just you... Geez, you almost gave me a heart attack!"

i know romeo is constantly on his ass, and I relate to the feeling of being scared the people you owe money will appear out of nowhere and get you, but. . .he's so jumpy lol

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ugh, Romeo's texting me... Not gonna open that..."

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"So your father runs a company, huh? Who the hell leads with that?! This is why I hate talking to Frostheimers..."

so the wording here is wonky because he's quoting a Frostheimer, but there's no visual indication that he's quoting them. But lore drop! Kaito's father runs a company! But I thought he wasn't well off. . .? Maybe his parents are separated or his father doesn't spend any of their money on him. . .or the company isn't doing well. . .or gambling addiction runs in his family lol. . . .

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Argh, I want junk food! And I want to try all the new snack flavors!!"

my boy is so relateable--

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"All right, time to man up and bite the bullet... Nope, absolutely not, can't do it!"

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"How is Jin's skin so perfect? Fucking rich kids and their stupidly expensive fancy-ass toner!!!"

kaito really looking at jin like OH NO HE'S HOT

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"(yawn) Guess I'll go brush my teeth..."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"Hey {PC}, you seem different somehow today. Did you change something? Or am I just imagining things?!"

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Noooo why does Tohma want to see me...? No way it's about something good! Could you come with me, {PC}?!"

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Crap, I fell asleep in class so I don't know what our homework is... Help me, {PC}!"

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Man, my bed's like a freaking marshmallow. I can never get any good sleep on that thing..."

lol the Frostheim beds are too comfortable lolol I NEED A FIRMER BED TOO KAITO I GET IT.

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Huh? Oh, my pendant! You're always wearing it? Does that mean you've actually been paying attention to me?!"

once again the wording here is wonk because it makes it sound like the pc is always wearing Kaito's pendant. I'm pretty sure he's quoting the pc, who's commented that "you're always wearing it". It would read better as something like "You noticed I'm always wearing it?"

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Hey {PC}, how 'bout we grab a bite?! I've got tons to splurge in winn... er, earnings, so it's all on me! Get whatever you want!"

your gambling addiction is really and truly going to get you in trouble. disregard that i play a gacha game.

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"...Huh?! Man, nearly fell sleep without putting my phone on the charger... 5%, that would've sucked tomorrow..."

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ha ha ha! Have you seen this yet?! It's all over TikTok. Ah man, it's killing me..."

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Whoa, when did it get so late?! Sorry {PC}, I didn't mean to keep you up... What? You're still good?"

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Morning! Hey, guess what? Luca's busy after class, so how about we hit up the diner? It's been ages!"

do you. . .do you really wanna go there. . .i mean the drinks seem to be fine but according to sho they can't make good food at all. . . .

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Sorry, I gotta stay after class today... (sniffle) This sucks, I really wanted to walk home with you..."

aw buddy. . .they could wait for you or come pick you up after your remedial lesson. . .!

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hey I'm really sorry but do you mind if we stop by the campus store after class? I'm almost out of granulated sugar."

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Hey, do you like stars? Oh, um, I was just wondering 'cause there's this place where you can see them really well, so I thought maybe you'd want to go some time..."

he's overcoming his fears and being honest with himself and how he speaks and just. . .asking honestly, no bravado, no act. do it scared, kaito. do it scared, do it awkward, do it sure you're going to fail. as long as you do it. proud of you!

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Sure is dark. Reminds me of the closet where we first met. Remember?"

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"I know I'm weak, and a coward. But I really do want to become your knight in shining armor, {PC}."

I love how comfortable and honest he starts to get as his affinity goes up. Still shy here and there, still scared, but he's not as jumpy and he starts treating you like a real friend. laughs with you about stuff, talks a little about hobbies and struggles. doesn't try and look cool for you. and then the honesty--i'm a weak coward, but i wanna be better for you. i wanna spend time with you. just!!! he grows!!! he realizes you like him for who he is and how he is, even if that's a weak coward--and that that's exactly what he wants! and it's okay for him to be that way because you won't be put off by it, even if it's something he'd like to grow from so he can be better for you--but he wants to be better for you as himself and--idk. i have feelings about characterization lol.

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Man, I wanna sleep, but I can't fail, so I gotta show up for class... Oh! I have Professor Nicolas next! Naptime."

does that mean you're good in anomalous medicine class or. . . .

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Grr! All those girls in the hall were looking at Luca! I'm so pissed off now I'm not even sleepy anymore!"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"It's finally warm out again, so I really want to go do something fun... Wish I could get an R&R permit..."

well maybe if you stopped sleeping in class and did good in class or went on a mission or something. . . . . .

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Mheheh... {PC}... You've got a petal in your hair... Zzz..."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Ugh, it's too hot to go outside... But I can sense a coming-of-age event on the horizon... All right, here I come!"

obligatory beach event? 👀

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Can't believe Professor Hyde still wears that blindfold in summer. Pfft, I bet it's really sweaty under— Eeeek! S-Sir?!"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hey {PC}, are you free after this? I was thinking of inviting Luca to let off some fireworks! I want to show him how we do summer here in Japan."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I can't believe I get to spend the whole summer hanging out with you {PC}... (sniffle) Homework? Uh y-yeah, I finished it already..."

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Is it just me, or is it really cold today?! Guess I better get my coat out soon..."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Have you had the chestnut rice from the cafeteria yet? They made it way too fancy. It's supposed to be comfort food..."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Tohma's always reading something. Maybe I should too... All right, let's go with this! 10 Ways To Become Popular Overnight!"

well. . .it's something to read. . .never a bad idea to read.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Apparently the moon is the most beautiful in fall since the air gets clearer. Want to go take a look?"

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"It's freezing out there! It's freezing in here! Frostheim sucks!!"

this makes me wonder what the warmest dorm is on average. . .probably jabberwock as long as towa's in a good mood? (or maybe warm jabberwock winters mean towa's in a bad mood. . .?)

(between 11am and 4pm)

"The cold can go to hell, but I guess there's outfits you can only wear this time of year..."

you can wear whatever you want whenever you want if you're brave enough. but this is kaito and he's not very brave. and it's also not very smart to wear winterwear in the summer.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"I really want to go to Starbucks for the new winter drink! But I really really don't want to go on any missions!! Guess I'll never get to try it."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Gram... No... No more mandarins... ...Huh?! Oh, it was just a dream... I haven't had a mandarin for ages..."

'gram' in this case is 'grandma' in case you couldn't figure it out haha and the mandarin(mikan)'s used to represent health and longevity and a long prosperous bloodline or something like that for new years. So i assume his grandmother would feed him a lot of mandarins every winter lolol

His birthday: (December 11th)

"Why did Jin, Tohma, and Luca give me all this high-end stuff?! It's freaking me out!! Thank you!?!?"

EVEN JIN AND TOHMA GAVE HIM GIFTS. . .FROSTHEIM FAM IS REAL. . . .

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday, {PC}! We'll make this the best one— Hey, give those back! Those are the cue cards I made yesterday!!"

ksjfkhesbfjh he made himself cue cards to give you a birthday speech with as little stuttering as possible. . . .

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year! Let's make it a good one! S-So hey, if, er, if you'd like, c-could we, um... could we make our first shrine visit together?"

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"C'mon Kaito, deep breaths. Girls aren't into guys with no chill. So stay cool... Stay— Are those chocolates for me?! I'll take them to my grave!"

everyone loves an enthusiastic boy lol

White Day: (March 14th)

"Do you like the cookies I made? Come on, no way they're that good, heh heh... Heh heh heh... Here, take them all!!"

god i bet he makes really good sweets too. like i bet he puts so much love and good spirit into them lolol

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"I'd never lie to a girl. Ah! That's not a lie, I swear! {PC}? Are you listening?!"

BAD THING TO SAY ON APRIL FOOL'S ABORT MISSION

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Trick or treat! See those carved pumpkins? I was actually the one who made them. What do you think?"

given his DIY skills i bet he's actually really good at carving too. i bet they look really good!

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Hey, uh, {PC}, do you, uh... Do you have any plans for Christmas? I'm actually totally free!"

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Huh? {PC}? Am I being annoying?! I'm sorry! You're probably busy, right?!"

(13 affinity and above)

"{PC} seems kind of busy... I know! I'll find a video that'll help take her mind off things!"

this one replace the first one after you hit a certain affinity, so it's cute to see that he eventually decides 'i'm not being annoying, they're just busy. i wanna help them' after he gets closer to you. . . .

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"Ah...! Oh my god, you're back!! I'm so happy to see you!!!!  (sob) Please don't leave me again..."

he's so clingy. . .poor guy really missed you, considering you're one of the kindest and most normal people in Darkwick that he associates with. . . . also man 'please don't leave me again' with the whole loop theory stuff. . . .

I THINK I'VE SAID MOST OF MY THOUGHTS THROUGHOUT THIS BUT. He really is a sweetie. He really could have ended up a very plain and 'safe' character, but he's managed to be very charming and entertaining with his struggles and exaggerated behavior, while still being a simple and safe type. Really looking forward to seeing how he plays into the rest of the story, since it seems like his pendant may be kind of important. . . .

[jasntodds]

Petrichor Chapter 6 Teaser - Full Chapter coming 08/09

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb) Teaser Words: 1,648  Chapter Warnings: Swearing, fluff, angst, ptsd, panic attack, blood, canon violence, bruises Summary:❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞ Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now. A/N: I've been rearranging chapters 6-9 because of what I want to happen in chapter 7 so here we are with a teaser lol If the format is wonky, I'm sorry. I literally hate this post editor with a burning passion and it's giving me all of the problems atm You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

It wasn’t that Jason was violent. That was never it. He could pick a fight just as good as the next person. But it was out of survival. It wasn’t because he liked the bloody and bruised knuckles. Or coming back with his body covered in shades of navy and maroon and the pain that went along with it. It was how he had to survive. Fight or die. Fight or let people take advantage of him.

He was small. He got lucky he grew taller as he got older but he was a small kid. It was either learn to fight and take what he could or get taken advantage of or die trying. It was learn to fight and hold his own or deal with whatever his dad would dish out or the new guy his mom brought home that didn’t really like kids. It was never that he wanted to be violent.

He was just angry with the world. Robin gives him the outlet. Robin lets him be violent in a way that’s productive. Robin lets him choose violence. Robin lets him pick fights that matter. Robin lets him let the anger and the violent side of him be a good thing instead of something that hinders him and something people find to be annoying and a nuisance. Robin has given him so fucking much including that outlet and he can’t lose it. And he just gets so fucking mad when he thinks about it. He's mad about it being taken away and mad at Bruce and a little mad at you for getting to use his outlet as your own, even when he knows that’s not fair.

It's the anger that always got the best of him. Not the violence.

“Where’s your head, Jay?” You ask, looking over your shoulder from the targets as Jason sits on the floor behind you.

Jason snaps away from his thoughts, looking over to you. “What?” He furrows his brows up at you.

“You're quiet and you’re never quiet unless something is bothering you.”

It's only been a few days but you know him better than anyone. It's been rough for him not having Robin. He wasn't Robin, technically, in San Francisco. He wasn't supposed to be anyway. He was supposed to be taking a break but that didn't seem to bother him as much as it does now. You're not entirely sure what the difference is this time but whatever it is, you've got this feeling that there's something more going on. Something's poking at his head.

Jason shakes his head. “Want to get back out there.” Jason scoffs.

You nod. “Yeah…” You suck in a breath, looking at your target full of knives before you move to sit in front of him. You match his position, stretching your legs out right beside his with your hands on the floor behind you to hold your weight. “You sure it doesn’t bug you I go out?” You ask.

Of course, it bothers him. That's his thing. But, it's yours, too. Maybe it wouldn't sting as much if you weren't going out with Bruce. But, there's nothing he can do about it and it would be wrong for him to even try. So, he bites his tongue about it.

“It’s fine, it’s your thing, too.”

You shake your head. “Yeah, but if it bothers you, I can wait until you get Robin back or I can just go out on my own.” You offer.

The first night Jason was benched, Bruce asked if you'd still join I'm for patrol. Jason assured you it was fine. So, you went and you talked later about it. He swore up and down it would be fine. You like to go out on patrol. You like to help people and who is he to try and take that away from you? You'd never do that to him.

“You think Bruce will be okay with that? You going out on your own?” Jason quips.

You grin before you let out a laugh. “Well, probably not anymore.”

Jason furrows his brows, his eyes scanning over your face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

You bounce around how to tell him about your conversation with Bruce earlier without including the stuff about him. It's hard because on the one hand, you respect Bruce but on the other, he can be a little insufferable. And Jason looks up to him for reasons you don't really think you'll entirely understand. It's not your place to speak poorly of him to Jason. So, you tell him but you hope he doesn't ask what sparked the conversation in the first place.

“We, uh, we had a moral disagreement today.” You chew the inside of your cheek as you raise your brows.

“Ah,” Jason nods his head. “That why you don’t wanna go out tonight?” The moral disagreement doesn't surprise him. He knows how you feel about all of it but he is a little surprised you even brought up to Bruce.

“Amongst a few other things but yeah. I think he might think I’ll kill people now.” You roll your eyes.

Jason lets out a snort. “What the hell did you even say to make him think that?” Jason shakes his head. “Wait, let me guess.”

“I’m listening.” You gesture a hand for him to continue.

Jason clears his throat. “You should kill the Joker. He’s a piece of shit maniac clown who kills people for fun. He should be dead.” Jason grins at you. “Sound about right?”

“Shut the fuck up.” You groan through a laugh as you tilt your head back. “No.” You shake your head at him. "I said he was a homicidal, psychotic, sadist." You state. "And that he should die, yes." You mutter softly while Jason lets out a booming laugh.

He is certain you'll never let it go which he doesn't blame you for. He gets it. He doesn't like his dad but a part of him still wanted to go after Two-Face. Dick went after Zucco. Parents are killed and their kids want to take revenge. But, he also knows you and he doesn't think you'd ever actually try to kill anyone, but especially the Joker. You have more self-preservation than that.

“And he said something about we don’t cross that line or whatever?”

“Yep.” Your eyes widen as you nod your head. “Him and Dick think it’s ridiculous as if Dick didn’t feel that same way, ya know? But it’s the Joker. So, uh, I might have said his death is inevitable.” You scrunch your nose and maybe that was the wrong choice of words.

Jason eyes you carefully and there is something going on with you, too. It's one thing to have the moral disagreement with Bruce but to actually say anyone's death in inevitable seems a little off. Jason's so wrapped in his own anger, he's started to wonder if he's missing anything with you.

“Okay seriously, what the fuck is going on?” Jason nudges your leg with his.

“Nothing. I don’t think I really meant it or anything but I kind of wonder if Bruce thinks I’m serious and thinks I’m like a ticking time bomb or something.” You roll your eyes.

“Did he take the shit from you? The suit or anything?” Jason questions and he is getting increasingly more curious what even started that whole conversation and got you mad enough to say anything to Bruce.

“No. Why?”

“Then he doesn’t think you’re gonna out and kill people.” Jason chuckles. “He'd take it away and send you to Leslie if he thought you were serious.”

“Oh, well that’s a relief.” You chuckle softly. “Still don’t wanna go out tonight though.” You shake your head.

Jason pulls his legs to his chest, resting his forearms over his knees. "What started the whole conversation anyway? Did something happen?"

You pause and you hate lying to him. It's the one thing you really don't do with him. But, telling him why Bruce even talked to you, that just doesn't seem fair. You worry he might take Bruce's concern the wrong way. Maybe it'll send him spiraling even further. Maybe it's best if you just keep that to yourself.

"Nothing." You shake your head. "It's nothing, really." You assure him before you suck in a breath. “Seriously though, if you have a problem with me going out, you can tell me.”

The switch back the topic at hand does not go unnoticed and that's also uncharacteristic of you lately. You tell him everything that bothers you and what leads to it bothering you.

"Right, no. I said it's fine." Jason states. "If something's going on with you, you'd tell me, right?" Jason questions.

You nod your head. "Of course. Nothing's, uh, nothing's going on. You need to stop worrying." You offer him a cheeky grin and he knows you're lying. "Look, Jay, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't stand a chance out there. I know it's hard being benched and I don't wanna make it harder for you."

He knows you're lying but he can't figure out why you would lie to him about something like that. It doesn't seem important or serious enough to need a lie. Maybe a part of him is even hurt you won't tell him. But, he knows it's not fair to push because you don't push him when he's adamant about not tellin you. He hopes you'll tell him later when it's not so fresh.

Jason scoots closer to you, resting a hand on your thigh. “I’m fine, alright? Go out kick and some ass, with or without Bruce.” Jason grins at you. “Stop worrying so much.”

“I’ll always worry, I love you.” You smile wildly at him.

“Yeah, I love you, too.” Jason chuckles softly. “Im fine, I’ll be back out there in no time.”

prev. chapter

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[laguera25]

I'm going to clarify something, and then I'm going to STFU until something more than unattributed screenshots and frazzled mania comes out.

I believe something happened to that woman. What I don't know is if it was anything untoward. Maybe between the booze and the excitement and her Lexapro and dehydration, things just went wonky, and she went off her ass. Maybe it was innocent.

Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe someone did spike her. Maybe they did it to make her more pliant, or maybe they did to get people high and didn't realize that whatever they added would interact badly with her meds.

I believe Till made an asshole of himself and pouted when she declined to have sex with him. I believe he sulked and flounced off.

And that alone makes him a dick. It doesn't speak well of him that he was willing to have sex with someone obviously off their ass and then turned into a toddler when she said no. It makes him sound sleazy, predatory, and entitled. And sad.

But.

This woman herself acknowledges that when faced with her refusal, Till accepted it. With ill grace, it must be said, but nonetheless. He did not press the issue.

I do not believe Till, or anyone else involved with Rammstein and its satellite organization, assaulted this woman. If Till had wanted to, he could've done so under the stage. No one did, and the woman herself claims that her memory didn't abdicate its duties until after that.

I'm not saying she wasn't assaulted; and to her credit, she has made no explicit claims as yet, though she's certainly been dancing around the subject since she first showed her bruises, especially the finger marks on her ribs. FWIW, I think she got most of those as she stumbled about in a stupor she does not recall. The finger marks may well be from equally intoxicated people trying to help her up.

In sum, I think Till has brought this on the band. Whether it was an intentional spike or a bad mix of booze and meds, he still tried to have sex with a woman blasted out of her mind, and even though he refused, the very fact that he attempted to do so has ratcheted up the nightmare scenarios of what might have happened in her mind. The truth is, she doesn't know what happened after her memory peaced out, and likely never will, but because Till showed his ass, she's always going to wonder. And that's on him. And on the band for letting these parties go on under their auspices.

I know this woman is now claiming this was never about legal justice, which doesn't really gibe with her first post, in which she swore to get "her justice, but there we are. I think she realizes that any chance she had of collecting physical evidence has passed and has now shifted gears to a righteous crusade to stop the "filth and depravity."

I can't say she hasn't been without success on that score because allegedly, the next few Row 0 parties have been nixed or moved to an outside club, and Alena is doing cack-handed damage control on IG, begging girls to post positive party experiences with the hashtag, "Istandwithrammstein." Which, LOL. I can't imagine the band came up with that dumbass stratagem. She, at least, is on the defensive. And fucking good.

All of that said, this woman's credibility is still shot, and rather than posting every harebrained, "My friend snorted coke off Till's dick" story that lands in her DMs, she needs to stop posting manic IG stories and get a lawyer because by posting every bit of drivel that floats into her inbox, she not only looks credulous and crazy, but she's opening herself up to legal action I'm sure she can't afford.

*There is a difference between credibility and truth. While this woman might be telling the truth about what happened to her as far as she can remember, she has no credibility because she's tossed it in among patent hogwash and posted shrill videos of herself as a an avenging angel for Great Justice, which makes her look like a gullible, loony misandrist.

**She's not claiming explicitly that Till or anyone affiliated with Rammstein sexually assaulted her, but she's certainly insinuating that they've done it to others, and that's what might land her in very deep trouble.

ETA: And now she's dragging Richard into it. His nefarious misdeed? Sitting in the same room at the afterparty. 'Kay.

[lewiswhatshisname]

I suppose I ought to introduce myself

I like taking photos with odd cameras. I am by no means a professional. I just have loads of cameras I've picked up second hand from various places, and like mucking about with them in different ways.

Right off the bat, I don't care about taking the perfect shot. That's boring to me. While I don't go out with the goal of intentionally taking wonky shots – I do actually try to make sure each shot is focused and exposed properly – quite a lot of my cameras are broken or weird in some way. My main film camera technically works, in that the lens attached to it is in good nick, and when I push the shutter button, it goes click. But the shutter fires inconsistently, and will often misfire at the lightest touch, it doesn't really fire at the speeds it's set to, the ISO dial is loose as hell and is always changing itself, and even if it wasn't doing that, the light meter really has no idea what light is in the first place.

It really only gets better from here. All of my cameras have some sort of physical malady by dint of being second hand, and in many cases, straight up antique, or because they're Holgas and have a deliberately imperfect design. I've got a couple of "toy cameras" as well, with cheap plastic lenses that make any given shot look a bit weird. None of these categories are mutually exclusive either.

But I also just like to do terrible things to both my cameras and the film I shoot on. My favourite thing to do is shove the wrong format film into the cameras. Sometimes I don't feel like cutting down film to fit into my 127 cameras, so I'll cram a 35mm roll in there. Or I'll stick one into one of my 120 or 620 cameras just for the hell of it. I like to redscale film, soup it, and just generally fuck it up before and after shooting. When I develop the film here at home, I don't put a lot of attention into making sure everything is perfect down to the tenth of a degree and to the second. I am not that fussed about any of it, frankly. As long as the roll comes out of the tank with photos on it, I'm happy. If they're messed up, whatever. That's part of the fun.

Right now, I'm slowly working through uploading my backlog over here. I've got even more photos on deviantART, and I post them to Patreon a month before I put them anywhere else. I also try to remember to put prints up, but that's a whole process on its own. In addition to uploading my backlog, I've been spending much of my time just working on scanning and editing a whole other backlog of negatives.

And according to Lightroom, right now that comes down to nearly 400 photos that I've yet to post, and a further 5,000-odd that I've not even looked at for editing. Plus the five or six rolls sitting on my printer waiting to be scanned.

You'll find a mix of birdwatching and urban photography, along with some random other things. I have favourite subjects I like to go back to again and again, and you'll get used to seeing them through a variety of lenses.

TL;DR, I take a lot of photos, many of them odd or wonky, and I'm never going to be done with this backlog. And the photos I have in Lightroom are only from the last few years. Multiple hard drive crashes have caused me to lose all of my digital photos a few times over.

Current Gear:

Canon EOS Elan II E (35mm)

Canon EOS Rebel XT (dSLR)

Fujifilm Instax Mini 90 (instant film)

Holga 135BC (35mm)

Holga 120 WPC Panoramic Pinhole (120)

Kodak Jiffy Six-20 (620)

Kodak Brownie Target Six-20 (620)

Kodak Brownie Starmatic II (127)

Kodak Brownie Starflex (127)

Kodak Ektar H35 (35mm)

Kodak Ektar H35N (35mm)

Minolta Maxxum 3000i (35mm)

Minolta Maxxum 8000i (35mm)

Pentax MG (35mm)

Ricoh KR-5 Super II (35mm)

Sawyer's Nomad 620 (120/620)

Super Ricohflex (120/127/35mm)

Plus photos from a variety of iPhones

[mlobsters]

supernatural s8e6 southern comfort (w. adam glass)

the orange of it all 😩

oh boy. goofy music and garth. and dean in trouble with sam. well, dean is entirely unbothered that sam's mad at him. but sam seems to be just mad about the vampire part, not the lying part. all right.

SAM But you're out now, and Benny's still breathing. Why? DEAN He's my friend, Sam. SAM And what about my friend, Amy? She was what? 'Cause you sure as hell didn't have a problem ganking her.

okay but didn't sam come around to agreeing with dean on that? or at least agreeing to disagree LOL fucking jewel staite plotline that would never die. agh.

SAM So, how does that make this our kind of thing? DEAN Because, Sam, Kevin's in the wind, okay, you're sulking around like a eunuch in a whorehouse, and I can't help but ask myself, when is decapitation not my thing?

think i went through the same face journey as sam to the eunuch in a whorehouse line but the end bit made me laugh

jump scares from the confederate flag plastered everywhere, jesus

GARTH So how'd you get out?

the way sam whipped his head around to make a spectacular array of faces at dean 😂

GARTH Yeah. Man, I felt terrible when I ganked that SOB. SAM Uh, you killed the Tooth Fairy? GARTH Yeah, man. I mean, not my proudest moment, but it happened.

....okay.

mmmk.

dunno what to say about that amelia flashback. it was done well, she did a really good job! i felt some things. but the whole plotline itself is... just feels like manufactured conflict.

oh but i just had a brilliant brainwave

maybe we have amelia to thank for getting the sideburns wrangled (somewhat)!!! 🫡🫡🫡

speaking of manufactured conflict, this thing with garth and dean over bobby. dean snapping at him, garth getting upset. mushy music that reminds me of the princess bride

amused that bobby apparently wrote in very neat cursive in his journal

confederate unknown soldier. okay.

glad to see amelia has her hair back and not the wonky wig in the previous episode. so this flashback was prompted by garth saying he and dean aren't listening to each other. and what, amelia wasn't listening to him when she pushed him away the morning after?

she could be straight out of a vidal sassoon commercial with that hair, gorgeous

jesus fucking christ i know my startle reflex has been like. extra sensitive recently but good fucking lord next scene actual jump scare when the dude shoots the glass. i hate that shit

i would snark about him hamming it up but the man just full on sniffed him and said the spectre likes him, so i mean, do what you must

DEAN You should have looked for me when I was in Purgatory.

in sam's defense, i will say again, if dean was actually in heaven which he assumed he was since he thought he was dead, would he still expect sam to get him? can argue that yes too, of course. or some handwavy he coulda checked somehow with a spell or whatever. anyway, with how they are, and have been historically, it does lend a little credence to dean's side of things

nice usage of fell on black days by soundgarden. they've been hittin it with the montages set to music (like this one of cas smiting to the yardbirds [scroll down in the post])

so i guess this whole monster of the week situation was to get this airing of grievances moment for dean

DEAN You never even wanted this life. Always blamed me for pulling you back into it. SAM That's not true. DEAN Really? 'Cause everything you've ever done since you climbed into my ride has been to deceive me. SAM What do you want me to say? That I've made mistakes? I've made mistakes, Dean. GARTH That's not Dean, Sam. DEAN Shut up! Mistakes? Well, let's go through some of Sammy's greatest hits. Drinking demon blood, check. Being in cahoots with Ruby. Not telling me that you lost your soul. Or how about running around with Samuel for a whole year, letting me think that you were dead while you're doing all kinds of crazy. Those aren't mistakes, Sam. Those are choices!

so it's not even things that dean necessarily might feel, it's things sam would feel guilty about whether or not it was within his control

SAM All right. You said it. We've both played a little fast and loose. DEAN Yeah, I might have lied, but I never once betrayed you. I never once left you to die. And for what, a girl? You left me to die for a girl?

again see why a lot of fic really belabor this point!

GARTH Come on, Dean. You do not want to kill your brother. You – you've been protecting him your whole life. Don't stop now. DEAN He left me to rot in Purgatory!

GARTH All right. All right. Maybe he did. I don't know. I wasn't there. But I'm sure he had his reasons. SAM Just like you had your reasons for Benny. GARTH Who? DEAN Benny has been more of a brother to me this past year than you've ever been! That's right. Cas let me down. You let me down. The only person that hasn't let me down is Benny.

that's a bold statement, ghost-possessed-dean.

SAM But what? But you didn't mean it? Oh, please. You and I both know you didn't need that penny to say those things. DEAN Come on, Sam. SAM Own up to your crap, Dean. I told you from the jump where I was coming from, why I didn't look for you. But you? You had secrets. You had Benny. And you got on your high and mighty, and you've been kicking me ever since you got back. But that's over. So move on, or I will. DEAN Okay. I hear you.

good job sticking up for yourself, sam! stop being an asshole, dean!

SAM Good. You know what? Hear this, too. I just might be that hunter that runs into Benny one day and ices him.

okay well, moment of reconciliation over

DEAN I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, won't we? SAM Yeah. Yeah. You keep saying that.

[toastywatchesstevenuniverse]

S1 E40

On the Run

This episode broke me.

I am...

I....

I am a broken creature & my heart has been thoroughly stomped into the ground.

This is....this is the best episode so far....but it's achieved the status of best by absolutely tearing me apart in every way & leaving my emotions as a pile of tear soaked dust.

Okay before we get to that: I have one thing to say....

GARNET HAS MASSIVE AND PLENTIFUL BALLS. Look this post ended up being a lot more personal & emotional than this blog usually has been so I'm giving you a balls joke to balance it out. I have a feeling that there will be more emotional venting if this episode is an indicator of what the rest of the show is like: we're gonna need all the dick & ball jokes we can muster up.

First off: easily the best musical number in the show so far. Yes even better than Pearl's solo number. And I do not say that lightly. That is a tough level to beat. And they did it. Steven & Amethyst take the gold medal for best song so far. 👌

ALSO OH MY GOD THESEE SHOTS THESE COLOURS THIS DJFJFNDIFJW ITS SO FUCKING GOOD????????

WHY DID SO MANY PEOPLE ON YOUTUBE TELL ME THIS SHOW HAS BAD ANIMATION WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT ARE WE WATCHING THE SAME SHOW?????? SURE THERES BEEN SOME WONKY DRAWINGS BUT MOST OF IT HAS BEEN VISUAL GOD TIER SHIT LIKE THIS. This episode was actually quite a step up in the animation compared to the previous ones. It's like the animators stepped on the gas here. I love it.

(Hey there uh so Trigger warning for this post just in case bc I do mention the topics of self harm/self hate/passive suic*de & that kinda stuff. So if that's not your thing, I'm really sorry & I understand if you wanna just stop reading here. If this isn't a topic you like to see mentioned at all, I'll just summarize my opinion here real quick & you can click away, I'm happy you're here at all btw thanks for reading this far!! & I want you to know you're valid for feeling this way btw: Don't let anyone tell you different. Anyways tldr I love this episode & how it tackles Amethysts character & it's the best episode so far & it made me cry really really bad & I am more of an emotional mess now than I usually am.)

So getting a bit personal here: I have said many times throughout my life that 'I never asked to be born'. I still think it now.

(Side Note but oh my god the animation in this fight was fucking incredible. Holy shit. And these shots go so fucking hard they COOKED this shit to perfection.)

Ive been depressed & passively suicidal for most of my life. I honestly cannot really recall a time where I didn't feel this way. I'm just kinda used to it by now I guess.

(This shot. This frame right here. This was when I had to pause the episode to calm down from how bad I was crying.)

So to hear Amethyst say the exact same thing that I have said so many times before: That broke me. That just fucking broke me. And like it's not the first time I cried at this show so far: BUT this IS the first time the show genuinely struck an such an extremely difficult & personal chord with me, not just like being sometihng I relate to, but the chord it struck was deep & painful enough that I had to actually pause the episode because of how much I needed to process it. Like I could not pay attention with how bad it made me break. So yeah it's now score 1 for the amount of times this show has fucking utterly destroyed me. Not every show is able to get me to react like THAT. The only other show in recent memory that got that reaction out of me that I can remember at the time of typing this is well, The Owl House. To be fair I haven't watched too too many new shows but yeah. This got me crying badly enough that I had to take a moment to calm down. Wasn't expecting to have that nerve struck like that.

That just hit on a personal chord for me & just....fuck man. I know that feeling. And they nailed how it feels. Amethysts reaction was exactly how it feels for me, just outwardly anger & tears. It hurts. Obviously anger & crying is simplifying it a lot, it's a lot more than just baseline that but you get what I mean. You could tell that she was feeling that exact way. & holy shit the fact that she's been the "comedic relief" of the gems so far & yet she's had easily the most fucked up & sad backstory of the show so far. Yeah if catching me off guard & completely blindsiding me with this was the goal: Goal fucking achieved because that was like a whack to my fucking face with a frying pan.

So....like, is this gonna be a reoccuring thing? I just.....get the feeling that this is a sign that the show absolutely fucking me up emotionally may become a more frequent thing going forward. So like, if that is the case......fuck. I'm so fucked. I am going to be a fucking wreck by the end of this show. This is gonna fucking leave me a sobbing mess, isn't it? What the fuck have I gotten myself into-

I am afraid. Also I am going to need to buy more tissues.

And the scene where Pearl & Amethyst speak in the hole is some of the best writing in any CN show. Ever.

(Also to break up the depressing talk, OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT PEARL IS SO FUCKING TALL THAT SHE HAS TO BEND DOWN AND SIT STANDING UP ON HER TIPPY TOES. THAT'S SO FUCKING ADORABLE I LOVE HER I AM GOING TO FUCKING LOSE IT.)

This episode was absolutely perfect.

[m4lexxx67]

I did not expect this to blow up so much, seriously, this is so weird and incredible. Thank you all so much for the incredible feedback, it made my fucking week ^^

And since a few people asked how I did this, I thought I'd take the opportunity to ramble about how I paint shirts and hope that those who asked see this <3

First off, if someone wants a hoodie or a t-shirt with this design for themself, I'm totally cool with you using this as long as you only do it for yourself and don't profit from it and give credit if you post it somewhere. Also please send pics should anyone actually do this themself 😊

So how did I do this?

First I made a sketch on paper and like I said calculted how big and how far apart everything had to be (I even measured the space I have for the letters lol). Then I put it up against my window and traced the backside with pastel chalk (I used different colours to better tell apart the different parts of the design and used scissors to get a finer edge on the chalks so I could draw more delicate lines (if you do this, do it over a glass of water because you will not get rid of the dust if it's not floating on water!))

After that, I used a wet cloth to dampen the hoodie so that when I pressed the sketch onto it, the chalk would stick better to the fabric. Which worked really well (I'm pretty sure I sketched where the fly should go before that and while wearing the hoodie so I'd know how it would look. Also put a piece of card board inside the hoodie so that it stays flat and to protect the backside of the hoodie. And when you press the chalk on the hoodie, use a lot of pressure, like slapping your paper everywhere that you want the chalk to stick to the fabric, your chalk print cannot be to exact) but it's still just basically chalk dust so as to not risk to destroy the chalk print which was essentially my sketch I used these pens I got from amazon that can draw on fabric and vanish when you put heat on it (It's probably better to wait until the fabric is dry before you use these, but I'm impatient so idk if I did this). I defined the sketch with those so it wasn't just vague shapes anymore but something detailed drawn with a pen. And then I had to do this all over again because I did not like the position of the print lol.

Anyways, once the sketch was where I wanted it to be I used fabric paint to paint what you can see on the photo. (Most of the chalk was gone by then because of my hands (do not touch the areas that you haven't otherwise secured yet or move the hoodie to protect the chalk sketch as best as possible!) and because I used a lint roller (this is the latest point where you should use one because you don't want dust or lint to make your life harder; if you want, you can also use one before you wet the fabric but do it again before you apply the paint, just to be sure.) to get rid of anything I don't want to stick under the paint but also the chalk dust. You can also use another wet cloth for the chalk dust, just be careful to not ruin the more secured sketch; should you use the pens I used, that should be fine tho. You should just get rid of as much chalk as possible to not ruin the colour of your actual print, especially if it's supposed to be white. Although you can still paint over it, if you do get chalk into your paint)

I started by painting the writing first so the fly would look natural on top of it and so there were no weird gaps. But I do believe that I painted the outlines of the fly with one layer of paint because I was afraid the hoodie might somehow get too hot and the pen would vanish. Also, I used a ruler to add in some guidelines from the pencil sketch to keep myself in check and correct any mistakes that might have gotten the writing or all wonky or something.

When the writing was done (the fabric is black so obviously you need several coats of paint for the paint to be opaque) I painted the fly over it with yellow and filled in all the details of the fly (some areas I wanted to stay clear of paint I vaguely sketched with the aforementioned pens and just kind of carefully crept closer to the shape I wanted it to be if that makes sense) and when that looked like one (because you could definitely see that all the details were kind of added on to a bigger patch of paint) I went over it all with a mix of yellow and just a little bit of black to give it a green touch without it being too close to actual green and to stay closer to the kind of dirtier colours that MCR are using for their Foundations of Decay stuff. (I would have used yellow and green but that probably would have become too much of bilious green and wouldn't have fit. I found out about being able to use black instead by trying the colour scheme on a piece of black cardboard and suddenly the yellow looked green because of the black shining through and it was perfect. So try to find the colours you want to use before you start, especially if you only have a handful of colours and have to mix everything else yourself)

Lastly, when I was done painting I let it sit for at least 24 hours and then flat ironed it with a sheet of baking parchment between the hoodie and the iron so it wouldn't come off when washing it.

This got so long, oh my god, but that's it and I hope this helps someone ^^

Finally fucking done with this one, jesus fucking christ this took me so long! (Mainly because I took several month-long breaks from working on it lol) But it's done and I can't wait for it to be cold enough to wear, it turned out so good!!!

But there was so much math involved in making the design, seriously, it was so hard to fit the fly to the words in the background and make them the same size and all and I'm pretty sure it only worked out because I used the wrong measurements or made a logical mistake, something like that lol (it's been a while, I think I made the sketch in like January or February)

[warren-lauren]

Gwilym Lee! Brian May x F!reader

Don't panic! Yes, this has been posted on Wattpad but it's my page that is linked to @i-have-a-wonky-eye-too I fancied writing something different since I've had mega writers block and came up with this little thing. Might turn it into something. I dunno. Let me know...

Fate...

A long drawn out breath left your mouth as you leaned against the phone box as your father lectured you about 'finishing what you started'. What started out as a bollocking for quitting your boring job stacking shelves, turned into 'I'm not mad, just disappointed' lecture after you said you were thinking of changing your studies.

"Dad, can- please, dad, just- Dad. Dad! DAD!" you let out a small scream as you slammed the phone back on the hook repeatedly. "FUCK YOU!" you huffed, kicking the door to the phone box open.

"FUCK!" You spun round at the pain filled cry from behind you to find a tall boy holding his face where, obviously the door you had kicked open, had smacked him.

"Oh, MY GOD! I am so, sorry." you gasped, your eyes wide with fear. He shook his head as he held his hand out that wasn't covering his face.

"No, it's fine... it's not like you, did it on purpose... I hope." he let out a dry chuckle as he moved his hand from his face, turning to look at his reflection in the phone box. The side of his face had a slight pink mark covering it from where it had been hit. Thankfully you hadn't done much damage to his, if you were being honest, quite handsome face.

"No, but still, I just twatted you with a bloody door." you frowned a little, noticing his face was getting redder.

"It's fine." he sighed into the small glass window of the phone box as he looked at his face. "Honestly, I'll be-" Brian's words died in his mouth the moment he laid eyes on you. "I- hmm-" he cleared his throat, trying to get his mouth and brain to work.

"It's getting redder." you began to panic. "Shit! I'm sorry."

"It's fin-"

"It might bruise if you don't put something on it... My flat is just down the road, you can come and put a bag of peas on it... if you like?" you offered a small smile.

"Brian." he suddenly spat surprising you.

"I'm sorry?"

He shook his head as he closed his eyes, mentally scolding himself for letting his brain turn to mush. "My name, it-it's... Brian." he whispered his name, blushing as he nervously ran a hand through his dark hair.

"Oh-" you let out a small giggle; a sound Brian desperately wanted to hear more of. "-of course, why else would you say it. Sorry." you let out a little nervous laugh.

Brian shook his head, a small smile adoring his lips as he thought about the most beautiful sound he'd just heard leave your lips. "It's fine. I just, thought, since you were offering to put your peas on my face, we should, know each others name first." he shrugged, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"Sure... I'm, hmm, Y/N." you giggled. "Nice to meet you." you blushed as you held your hand out to Brian, all of a sudden shy. Brian grinned as he took your hand in his.

"And you."

----------

The peas were long forgotten and completely defrosted by now on your coffee table, as you and Brian faced each other on the sofa, fully engrossed in whatever topic had popped up between the pair of you. The two of you were, somehow, just clicking. At first when the two of you entered your apartment there was a lot of nerves and shyness but after you explained the reason for you kicking the door (and apologising again), the pair of you slowly fell into a comfortable rhythm of chatter.

"We're, uh- hmm, we're actually playing, this weekend. You should, uh- come." Brian smiled at you, a light blush colouring his cheeks.

"Yeah-" you nodded, smiling at him. "-sounds fun.

Brian's face lit up a little. "Great!" he began blushing. "I mean, we're not, brilliant or anything, just, you know-" he shrugged as he ran a hand through his hair. "-three guys, playing after college. Nothing special-"

"Are you kidding? You can play an instrument. That's more than I can do." you smiled at him.

Brian's head fell back as he let out a short laugh. "More than- Y/N, have you not seen your paintings?" he said as he raised his hand and thumbed at the watercolour painting of a sunflower hung on the wall behind him. You blushed a little, lowering your gaze to your hands that were folded on your lap. There was a moments silence between the two of you before Brian sifted in his seat. "I should, hmm, it's late."

You quickly looked over your shoulder to the clock, only just noticing the time. "Oh, God. M'sorry. I hope I haven't kept you from anything?"

"No, not at all. I... I've enjoyed, talking to you, Y/N." Brian smiled, something that once again caused a funny feeling in your stomach.

You bobbed your head as you brushed a strand of your hair back behind your ear. "Yeah, me too, Brian."

"Good."

"Yeah."

Suddenly the shyness and awkwardness from before was back. You cleared your throat before standing up quickly, followed by Brian. The pair of you stared at each other, desperate to say something but not quite having the words, so you just nodded at each other before slowly making your way to your front door.

With a heavy heart you pulled your door open and let Brian walk past. It was strange. You'd only know Brian a handful of hours, yet, you felt so comfortable with him.

"Oh, hang on-" he turned back to face you as he dug into his jacket pocket and pulled out  crumpled up receipt along with a worn down pencil. "I forgot to tell you where we're playing." he let out a chuckle as he wrote down the place. "Here you go." he smiled at you as he handed you the piece of paper. "Hmm, see you there?"

You nodded glancing down at his writing. "Definitely."

Brian's smile grew, nodded as he stepped back from the door. "Great." he nodded again. "Great... Hmm, bye." he raised his hand shyly, a blush filling his cheeks.

"Goodbye, Brian."

With one last smile Brian turned on his heels and left. Once you'd shut the door you let out a deep sigh, letting your forehead fall against the door as you closed your eyes.

What the fuck?

----------

You slowly pushed your way through the crowd as you made your way towards the front. All week you had been looking forward to not only seeing him again but hearing him play the guitar. You'd hoped to have gotten there for the beginning but seemed the paint you had been using for a new painting had grown quite attached to your skin and wouldn't come off, therefore putting you behind getting ready.

A smile broke out on your face as soon as your eyes landed on Brian, until you saw the slight bruising on his face. Your chest tightened as you stared at him, guilt flooding your brain as you thought about what pain he must be in.

If it wasn't for Brian making direct eye contact with you when he looked up, smiling as he did, you probably wouldn't have realised you were staring at him. He sent you a wink, his smile growing as he watched you blush and drop his gaze, too embarrassed to look at him because he'd caught you staring at him. It filled him with an odd feeling, knowing he could make such a pretty little thing act like that. Brian was usually the one like that.

Each song started and ended, surprising you even more the more you heard. Brian sang. Good. Not a lot what with him being back up, but when he did, he was good, great even.

The band said goodbye to everyone, thanking them before they began to leave the stage. A sudden feeling of nerves hit you as you watched Brian remove his guitar, gently placing it down before he turned back and jumped off the stage, his gaze fixed on you in the middle of the moving crowd. He raised his hand in the air slightly as a greeting. "You made it." he smiled down at you.

You nodded biting your lip before you began grinning. "I did."

"Good." he nodded. "I was, hmm, worried.. you weren't, hmm, going to, when, you know-" he began to trip over his word, a little nervous himself.

You shook your head quickly. "Definitely not!" you smiled. "I just had a small paint malfunction that took longer to tidy up, that's all." you blushed slightly.

Brian raised his eyebrows as he quickly worked out what the green smudge was on your chin and the white spray that was in your ear. He began grinning, nodding as reached up and brushed back a strand of hair that had yellow paint covering it. "Ah! That explains why your very colourful tonight then." he winked with a chuckle, making your eyes widened as you grabbed the piece of hair and pulled it in front of you so you could see it, gasping when you saw the paint.

"For fuck sake. I was in the bath for like an hour." you whined.

Brian tried not to think about that as he watched your lips pout, your fingers playing with your hair, your eyes focused on the yellow paint-

"OY! BRI! C'mon, move your shit!" Roger shouted from the stage, clearly pissed the guitarist was taking forever.

Brian rolled his eyes before nodding. "Yeah, just a second." he sighed looking back at you. "Can you give me like, five minutes and then-"

"Brian-" Roger walked up to where the pair of you stood, tapping Brian's arm. "-not that I'm not happy you're about to lose your virginity and all but, band stuff first, yeah?" he winked at you before he walked off laughing.

You bit back your laugh as you saw Brian's face redden. "I'll wait over in that booth whilst you twat him." you winked at him before walking off to where you had said, laughing to yourself when you heard Brian's annoyed voice tell someone to 'shut the fuck up'.

----------

"I'm sorry about tonight, Y/N. I really didn't intend on Roger and Tim to interrupt." Brian sighed as the pair of you walked towards yours. Brian had his hands in his pockets as you had your arm linked with his so neither of you stumbled. You were a tad drunk.

You shook your head with a small laugh. "And tell me, Doctor May-" you missed the way Brian rolled his eyes and grinned as you called him that, a small joke that had built through-out the night. "-what were they interrupting?" you asked, desperate to know if tonight was what you'd been hoping.

"Our date." Brian simply said, nodding. "I hope."

You turned your head so you were looking up at him, smiling as your eyes met. "Funny that. That's what I was hoping." you giggled, almost tripping because you hadn't been paying attention.

Brian laughed loudly as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer. There was a beat of silence between you as the two of you lost yourselves in each other, smiling drunkenly at one another until your eyes flicked up to the sky.

"Will you teach me about the stars, Doctor May?"

Brian nodded slowly as he took a deep breath, his eyes staying on yours that stared up at the night sky. "It might take a few years." he whispered, reaching up to cup to your face, smiling as your eyes met once more. "That okay?"

You nodded biting your lip. "Yes..." you whispered before you leaned in to him.

Your lips softly moulded to his like they were made for one another, sealing your fate with a kiss.

[mysynthfetish]

Um, Yeah.

Well it's damn near March already. What the hell? Where does the time go?

The whole world is in a huff about COVID-19, and here in Japan too, obviously, but people are in full-on freakout mode. First thing they did was go on a panic-buying-spree of masks, like surgical masks, you know, the ones everyone here wears when it's either flu or hay fever season. So, there's a shortage of masks now. "ONE BOX PER CUSTOMER!!" signs at the shops with any remaining stock. For me, the funniest thing is that masks do not prevent the wearer from catching a virus. The seal around the face is not perfect, so guess what, shit don't work. Unless you strap on a military grade chemical warfare motherfucker of a mask, like with the filter cans and shit? Nope. I mean, even the homepage of the WHO where you can find a coronavirus FAQ says so ("BUT THE WHO IS CONTROLLED BY THE UN AND THEY'RE SECRETLY OUT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD SO YOU CAN'T TRUST THAT!!!!" yeah yeah yeah. Shame. On. You). But nahhhh who cares about actually using your head and thinking about how viruses spread. See, the masks work (sorta) when worn by people already infected, as they trap most of the fun stuff ejected by a sneeze or a cough. Not all of it. We can still hope for some fun to be shared among the general populace can we not? Ahhh but it's easier to be a total idiot and follow the herd mentality and panic-buy useless shit. Then there was the fiasco with the cruise ship and not letting passengers disembark, and then it turns out a number were let off without having to go through screening, but the Chinese are still being confined to quarters blah blah blah. Jeeezus Fucking Christ EVERYTHING is made in China anyway, from rubber dog shit to the (probably) fake ICs in your military hardware to your beloved smartphones and related devices, shit, even the incessant machine-diarrhea geyser of clone synths too, so what the hell is the big deal about a potentially pandemic-level megavirus every few years? Chinavirus. Next in the ongoing series. Personally, I don't really care where the viruses originate, and to tell the truth, I get a warm feeling inside when people lose their shit over stuff like this, and even warmer when the death toll rises and rises. Can't think of a better species to get a good culling than the old homo sapiens. Heh. Mister Misanthrope at your service! But anyway.....

Found this ancient beast sitting forgotten and forlorn in a closet at work. It's a Luxman 38FD "High Fidelity Stereo Integrated Amplifier" made around 1970 (like me!). It is in near fucking mint condition. HEAVY. AS. FUCK. And the winningest part of the whole thing besides it being destined for the Big Garbage pile and as a result free for the taking? IT WORKS. Oh, and even better...

IT'S A VACUUM TUBE AMP!!! Those are the main tubes, 50CA10, pretty much but not totally unobtanium. Yeah, they fucking glow a warm orangey red, and after a bit you can see blue vapor inside. Well, if you turn off all the lights and take the top cover off. It runs hot as fuck too. I was just shocked the thing worked. It's sitting comfortably atop the desk in the lair, where you'd normally park a printer, with a pair of Yamaha NS-100X speakers on risers above it. Sounds great. There's considerably more noise (hiss?) than a modern amp, but with the volume knob raised to about 10 o'clock, it's already loud enough that the hiss isn't even a consideration anymore, and any louder would be asking for trouble with the neighbors. I can't believe it because the amp is supposed to be a mere 30 watts per channel. I guess 30 watts from vacuum tubes is a hell of a lot different from even triple that from a modern amp. LOUD!!! So yay me.

Oh and speaking of viruses....

I was watching this one on the auction for about a month and a half. The opening bid started out at around $1700 but nobody bid, and the auction ended, and one option here on the yahoo auction is for an automatic re-listing with the opening bid discounted by a certain percent. I watched for a while, then just when I'd forgotten about it, it came up in the look-at-me feed and the price was down to a grand so I bid on it and won. I had one of these before and regretted selling it, thus the TI Polar in my arsenal now, but the 61-key TI has THE BEST keys ever. Feels so good to play. Fatar! I thought yeah ok I'll just say see ya to the Polar and call it even. But... Hmm... Wait... One thing led to another and in the end I decided to keep both the viruses and... and...... and...... sell the ION. Say WHAT?!?! After all the work and repairs and maintenance and customizing LEDs and and and and.... Yeah. It's a hell of a synth, no doubt about it, but I think anything with the Alesis logo on it has a very definite shelf-life. The pots are gonna go, a few are acting up already, and those are unobtanium unless you wanna shell out the dosh and buy from syntaur. You can't get NOS pots either. So... After some serious deep-thinking and careful consideration and deliberation I had to say to myself, "self, it's a wonderful machine capable of some great sounds, but it's only 8-voice polyphonic, there are barely any effects to mention, ok sure the mod matrix and plethora of filter models and waveshaping are fantastic, but you know how ridiculously MORE powerful the Virus TI is almost every respect!" And I admitted defeat. To myself. Weird, I know. But there you go. I don't think I know anyone with two Virus TI (or TI2) synths in their collection. Maybe Anthony Rother. I know he has two IONs. 

Ahhhh but this 61-key virus wasn't without problems. Uh, well, OK one BIG problem. The power supply shat itself when I turned it on for the first time. The LCD sorta flashed, there was a brief sign of life with some of the LEDs, but then blip! Nothing. Aaaaargh! Unseat the power cable, reseat it, try again. Nothing, just a high-pitched whine that was getting louder. I put my head up against the front panel, listening for where the whine was coming from, and figured out it was the far right side. That's where the PSU is. Then suddenly the sound changed to a higher pitch that swept downwards over the course of a few seconds, all the while sputtering like it had a downward sawtooth filter on it, then POP! No more sound. When I opened the case up, I immediately remembered that for whatever reason, Access decided to go with a PSU like you'd use with a laptop computer, the big brick-like deals, and that they'd carefully bracketed the brick in so that the eyeglass-socket for the plug lined up with the hole in the rear panel. OK so all I needed to do was find a same-rating PSU and then go about modding the bracket so cosmetically it would look from-the-factory. Incidentally, I contacted Access and asked about parts, but the rep said they don't have any more PSUs for the TI series, only ones for the TI2 series, and that they aren't the same size so when they do the repair, they put a DC jack on the rear panel and the PSU gets left out—goes from internal to external if you catch my drift. Well, no thank you, I do not care for that approach, no sir, I didn't wanna go that route at all. So, thanks to having access to a drill press and diamond-saw dremel tools at work, I made the necessary mods to the bracket, padded it a bit so it would securely hold the new PSU in place, and in the end you can't tell it isn't a factory PSU (from the outside). Yay me, part two.

This is the bracket, post choppy-grindy. Yeah so I "secured" the cabling with Scotch 33+... Hey, from the factory it was held down with hot glue!

Yeah that's where it attached to the PCB. CHEEKY!!!!!!!

Not bad, right? You'd never know. But I've told you, so now you know. Oh and the PSU was $22 from a local parts chain (Marutsu). I think Access wants about $50 but I think that includes free shipping anywhere in the world. I'm just glad it's working fine now.

Other goings on... I've sold the Timeline and Space pedals, and used part of the proceeds to pick up a Sony DPS-D7 delay and a DPS-R7 reverb to use in their place. But the D7 had a wonky input knob that actually broke off in my fucking hand the second time I went to use it. That pot is super unobtanium, so I thought I'd just epoxy the broke-off-bit and not worry about separately controlling the input levels for the L and R channels (does anyone even DO that?)... Here's the pot.

Even after it was epoxied back together, it was fucking bent as fuck. Red line shows the angle, blue arrow shows where the epoxy ghetto fix went down. I saw another D7 listed as-is for $10 and nobody bid so I won it, and I had intended to just cannibalize the pot, but it turns out that it has a newer OS and it works fucking fine, so that was kind of a head-scratcher. People are weird. This delay is stupid deep. There's a multi-tap algorithm that has like 40 separately programmable taps, each with its own level, pan, feedback, and all that. The reverb (R7) is just as insane with parameters... Dudes, and dudettes, seriously, you need some deep-sea rated scuba gear to really get to grips with these Sony DPS motherfuckers. DEEEEEEEEEEEP AS FUCK. I've owned these before too. Had the F7 Filter too. That thing had a 40-band vocoder and a multi-part digital drum synth in it!? Man I think the engineers at Sony had access to some GOOD drugs back when they were working on this line of effects processors. Seriously. I mean, I love programming, but even I was intimidated by the sheer amount of programmability in these things. The ones I had before were a bit noisy, but these aren't at all. Strange. Fun shit though. Oh and there's this:

Ah fuck, looks a bit out of focus. That right there is a TOA DE-1000 delay. Rare as shit, and this one is in NEW condition. Insane! I've had this one on my radar for a while. Why? Because it's fucking WEIRD!!!! So the max delay time is 255ms or something really not that long at all, but you've got three to control: Left, Center and Right. Individual times (LEDs) and levels (white sliders), plus global wet/dry and feedback, AND modulation time and depth sliders. SLIDERS!!?? Ok it only has four memory slots, and no MIDI, but you can get up to some good mischief with this thing. Last two goodies to blab about:

Top: SONICWARE ELZ_1. What a weirdo synth. I heard that it's a raspberry pi under the hood but really? Who cares. It can do some off the wall shit. A handful of wacky synth engines, topped off by four effects processors at the end. And it has a speaker. My only complaint is no DIN MIDI, just USB and you have to buy a class compliant dealie. I suppose I should do so before I forget. Sounds pretty damn good though, and it does things that I've not heard other synths do. Built well. Fun to play and fun to program. Runs on batteries. Worth looking into. I was so impressed with this that I backed their next project (a groove box type thing it seems). Bottom: KORG AM8000R. This fucker does some WEIRD SHIT! I had one before (and its delay counterpart, the DL8000R) and for whatever reason didn't hold on to them. I think I was looking for more bread and butter, set it and forget it type effects. This was really cheap and it's in great shape. I don't think so many people know about these. Relatively easy to program, and you can get some really good, usable stuff as well as some super far out WTF stuff. The WARP! knob is good fun too.

Oh I suppose it's worth mentioning that I had an album released by Anti Gravity Device out of Tokyo a few weeks ago. Let's see if I can find a link...

https://anti-gravity-device.bandcamp.com/album/black-rainbows-agd036

Have a listen. It's stuff I recorded from about November through December last year, maybe even the first week of January this year. Live jam format, no master sequencer, wish I was an octopus because two arms and ten fingers just wasn't enough type stuff. All hardware. Fun!

So, my invisible tumblrpeeps, it's been a busy 2020 so far here. More things in the works. Keep your eyes peeled. Stay well. Watch out for number one, and don't step in number two. (thanks, Carlin!)