#wasn't really expecting to be asked something like that tbh. i mean i have considered the possibility of being trans yknow?

[unfortunatebrainfarts]

After working with your friendly neighborhood intergalactic space cowboy for quite some time, you've managed to become pretty damn good at understanding the gist of what he means to say

Boothill x reader

A/n: OK SO, first fanfic in like 6 years and it's for an intergalactic space cowboy

Tbh I have no idea why I wrote this, my ipad apps are constantly monitored by the teacher and I really have nothing better to do than go on my notes app and pretend I'm writing notes

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY = I HOPE YOU GET FUCKED BY THE IPC AND ROLL IN YOUR OWN DEBT AND SUFFERING (or something like that)

BLESS YOUR HEART = FUCK YOU

PRAY FOR ME = FUCK ME

LOVELY = FUCK

YOU WONDERFUL PERSON = YOU BITCH

Well ain't you just a sweetheart? = Well you're just a little bitchboy aren'tcha?

God love him = He was fuckin' underdeveloped as a fetus wasn't he (Something along the lines of 'he's dumb as shit')

"Hm. Seems about right."

To others, your furrowed brows, tense posture, and concentrated gaze at just one singular page of your notebook may make it seem as if whatever was on that page was something life changing. And honestly, they might as well have been right since you were one step closer to understanding what the hell Boothill was spitting out more than half the time.

You recall the first time you were assigned a mission with him — "BLESS YOUR HEART YOU WONDERFUL PERSON," cue you snapping your head towards the gruff voice seeing the cowboy in all his glory easily decimating the dozens of grunts in his vicinity with a toothy grin no less, which you note are very, very sharp.

His long, flowy hair caught your attention. How was it so white and clean even with all the fights you know gets into? Does it ever get yanked? What shampoo does he use?

"Now I don' mind some ooglin', but wouldn't ya say we should keep our eyes on our enemies darlin'?"

His voice snaps you out of your trance and you come to to a shovel nearing your head. You instinctively cover your face with your hands anticipating the pain, the pain which never came since when you put them down, you see that Boohill had already left a bullet in his head.

"Spacin' out at a space cowboy? Ain't that rich."

.

Ignoring the fact that he saved you from having to get facial reconstruction surgery, the reason you almost got a face full of shovel in the first place was because of the ridiculous curse on his synesthesia beacon.

That's why you've been devoted to trying to decode the albeit hilarious, rather inconvenient in a battle things he says. You've tried asking Boothill to write them down, but his handwriting could have him assigned as a doctor in no time so you gave up on that idea quite quickly.

"Whatcha starin' at so intently darlin'?

Your train of thought was abruptly interrupted by the man of the hour mindlessly snatching your notebook right out of your hands. "Aren't you supposed to stop thieves, not act like one," you ask half heartedly. It was nothing less of what you'd expect from Boothill of all people — no, cyborgs??

"Heh, this ain't thievery 's sharin'! Er, what's that one sayin' again... share to care, care to share, sharin' to carin'? Eh whatever ya get what I mean don'tcha sugar?" He retorted, you roll your eyes mentally as he put his focus back onto the notebook. To be honest you were surprised he could even read considering his handwriting was that bad.

As Boothill read each and every one of your 'translations', his grin only grew wider and wider showing the spiky teeth you don't know how are natural but have grown accustomed to seeing. Just then, a burst of unhinged laughter randomly filled the entire lounge room you were sitting in. The weird glances and whispering were already starting but Boothill didn't care, he was Boothill.

Not wanting to be associated with the man at that very moment, you stand up to leave him comically rolling on the floor. However, you couldn't even do that because the moment you stood up, Boothill snatched your leg and dragged it so that you would fall back down. This time, onto the floor with him. "Well ain't you something sweetcheeks, ya got me alll figured out huh?"
.

.

It's been two months. Ever since Boothill realized that you had actually tried to figure out the true meaning behind his words — and actually got them relatively right — he's been using you to spew out insults overtime. Honestly it was like you had become a pokemon, you could just picture it in your head.

BOOTHILL BROUGHT OUT ____

____ USED SWEAR! IT WAS SUPER EFFECTIVE

Either way, it wasn't that bad since though you might be imagining things, it feels as if you've grown ever so slightly closer to the eccentric space cowboy.

You continue to observe boothill and add more and more onto your list of translations, but apparently you fail to notice that he no longer uses any casual pet names like 'darling' or 'sweetcheeks' anymore. At least, not for anyone but you.

[forest-hashira]

Noble Blood - Chapter Eleven

ok so life things happened again so i wasn't able to finish this chapter quite as soon as i would have liked, but. considering how long it is i am hoping you'll all have a little bit of mercy on me. i don't know how it got this long, it wasn't supposed to be this long, but i knew i couldn't split it yet again, so. y'know. also i had this song on repeat the whole time i was writing this chapter, if you want the vibes. i don't have much else to say tbh but i hope you enjoy!

fic masterlist | read on ao3 | wc: ~13k | cw: gender neutral reader, yet another festival sorry, reader has A Lot of anxiety this chapter, reader is nude around an adult they are not related to. nothing at all sexual happens but i wanted to give a heads up about it just in case.

Just as your mother had said, the rest of the week really did fly by. Because it was still winter break for school, Satoru and Suguru had nowhere else to be, so the three of you spent every waking moment together – and even some of the sleeping ones. You still slept in Suguru’s bed, wearing Satoru’s clothes every night, while the boys continued to share Satoru’s bed. You’d expected a fight to break out because of it at some point, but it never had. Which was a good thing, of course, but was still surprising.

The only downside to the week going by so fast was that, before you knew it, you had reached the day of the festival, which you had been dreading ever since Gojo-sama had informed you of it. 

That morning, you were woken by a servant entering the room and calling your name, which, of course, woke all three of you. Still rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you stepped out from behind the privacy screen that separated Suguru’s bed from the rest of the room. “Is something wrong?” you asked around a yawn.

“No, nothing’s wrong,” she assured. “But we need to start getting you ready for tonight’s celebration.”

“Can’t that wait until after breakfast?” Satoru groused, scowling at the servant; even after all these years, he still wasn’t a morning person.

“I’m afraid not, Gojo-dono,” the servant replied with an apologetic smile. “Gojo-sama’s orders.”

Satoru’s scowl only deepened, but you cut in before he could argue.

“It’s fine, ‘Toru,” you told him, hoping you sounded as reassuring as you were trying to be. “I’ll catch up with you guys at lunch, okay? Just go back to sleep.”

He hesitated for a moment, still glowering at the servant, but he finally relented when Suguru bumped him lightly with his shoulder. 

“Fine,” the white haired boy grumbled, though his expression softened slightly as he turned his attention to you. “You can throw a tantrum if they start to bother you,” he said, expression completely serious. “Always works for me.”

Suguru rolled his eyes at the other boy’s words, but offered you a small smile. “We’ll catch up with you later,” he promised. 

Oddly reassured by Satoru’s advice and soothed by Suguru’s promise, you nodded, murmuring one last small goodbye before following the servant out of the room, Takara cradled to your chest as always. 

You were led to a part of the house you’d never been to before – the very center of the house, if you had to guess – and were a bit confused when you were ushered into a bathroom, where there was already a tub of steaming water. 

“But I just took a bath last night,” you said, more than a little confused as you turned to face the servant you had been following. 

“Gojo-sama’s instructions were clear,” she said simply, though she did look a bit apologetic. “He said you were to be bathed and thoroughly scrubbed clean before we dressed you for the event.”

You blinked dumbly for a moment at her words before something clicked in your mind. “You mean… I don’t just get to bathe myself? And I don’t get to dress myself after?”

“That’s correct,” she confirmed, without any sort of change in her expression. “It’s how Gojo-dono has always been prepared for events,” she added, as if that made the concept of being scrubbed and dressed by complete strangers any less horrifying. “It’s just how things are done.”

Though the idea made you more than a little uncomfortable, you weren’t confident enough to try and argue, too overwhelmed already by everything that was happening, and you hadn’t even gotten started.

Thankfully, the servant turned her back and allowed you a small amount of privacy as you undressed and climbed into the tub, after setting Takara on top of your clothes; she was still so small, and you didn’t want her to get cold while you were unable to hold her.

Once you were fully seated in the tub, the servant turned and began gathering the soaps and things she would need to bathe you, allowing you to soak in the hot water for a few moments. When she turned to you, though, she gestured for you to tip your head backwards. “Need to wet your hair so I can wash it,” she explained. Hesitantly, you nodded, then did as she asked. The hot water felt good against your scalp, but the woman’s fingers were anything but gentle as they worked the soap into your hair, her nails raking against your scalp somewhat unpleasantly.

Eventually she rinsed the soap from your hair, then rubbed something that looked a lot like lotion into the strands. Whatever it was smelled strongly of herbs, but you found you didn’t mind it very much. When she told you to stand so she could give you a good scrub, you wanted to refuse, to say you were capable of bathing yourself, but you couldn’t bring yourself to argue with her stern expression. So you stood, keeping your eyes squeezed shut as she scrubbed virtually every inch of your body, her movements thorough and efficient, if a bit rougher than you would’ve liked; not having to look at her as she washed you lessened the humiliation you felt, even if only a little.

Once you were deemed satisfactorily clean, the servant sat you back down in the tub and rinsed out whatever it she had put in your hair. Then she ushered you out of the tub, handing you a large, thick towel.

“Dry yourself quickly,” she said, “Then come through that door over there. That’s where we’ll be dressing you and getting you otherwise ready for the event.” As she spoke, she pointed to a door on the other side of the room you hadn’t noticed before – though, granted, you hadn’t been paying much attention. 

You nodded to confirm you understood, then waited until she had left the room to begin drying yourself with the towel. The material was soft, much softer than any other towels your family had ever owned, and that, if nothing else, was a relief. Once you were dried off, you secured the towel around yourself, then turned to Takara, who was sitting up and watching you curiously, head cocked ever so slightly to the right.

“Well,” you told her quietly, attempting a small smile. “Guess we should let them finish getting us ready, hm?” You carefully scooped up the hatchling and the pile of clothes she sat on, not sure if you were meant to leave them behind or not. Crossing the room, you pushed open the door that had been pointed out to you, and your eyes widened at the scene before you.

There were at least three servants in the room, and what seemed to you to be dozens and dozens and dozens of kimonos and coordinating accessories laid out across the multiple vanity tables in the room. Most of them looked like silk, shiny and in a spectrum of more metallic shades. It occurred to you after a moment that they were trying to match your outfit to the color of your dragon as best they could.

Everyone stopped what they were doing when you stepped through the door, turning to look at you with neutral expressions. Until they spotted Takara, at least. When they caught sight of the hatchling, their eyes all flew wide, as if they hadn’t believed she existed until right that moment. Snapping out of whatever trance your dragon seemed to have put them all under, one of the servants, a girl who couldn’t have been more than five or six years older than you, turned to you with a gentle smile.

“Do you have any preference about what colors your accessories are?” she asked kindly. “If we can start narrowing things down now, we can make this as quick for you as possible.”

The question caught you a bit off guard; you hadn’t expected to have any sort of say in the whole process, so you weren’t entirely sure how to even answer the question. “I, uh…” you hesitated, glancing around at everything laid out on the tables to see what your options were. Both fortunately and unfortunately, it seemed there were accessories in every color you could imagine and then some. “I think… could we do green?”

“Of course, there’s plenty of green to work with over there. Is there a specific shade…” the girl trailed off when she saw Takara stirring in your arms, and she gasped softly when the hatchling opened her eyes.

You offered a slightly bashful smile at her reaction, and asked, somewhat redundantly, “Can we try to match her eyes?”

You’d barely gotten a nod in response before the woman who had bathed you came over to you, taking the clothes from your arms and carrying them off to some unknown part of the room, presumably to be taken away and washed. Wordlessly, she ushered you into the center of the room, only stopping once you stood in front of a mirror.

“You’ll have to put her down while we get you dressed,” she told you, with a slight nod towards Takara.

Her words make your heart stop for a moment. She was right, of course, and you knew it, but you desperately did not want to be separated from your only friend in the room, especially since it seemed that getting dressed would not be a quick, simple process. 

“…Where am I supposed to put her?” you asked eventually, still not confident enough to try and defy her, doubly so considering she was just carrying out Gojo-sama’s orders. 

“Over there.” She gestured to the closest vanity table, which had a small section at the end cleared off except for a rather fancy looking cushion. So, after another moment of hesitation, you carried your dragon over to the cushion, carefully setting her down and promising her you weren’t going anywhere.

Once you were back in front of the mirror, the woman circled you slowly, looking you up and down as if trying to imagine exactly how things would fit on you before even attempting to get you into any of the possible outfits – outfits you knew would be far too complicated for you to ever get into or out of on your own. She said nothing when she turned away from you, instead carefully examining all the options laid out. They all looked almost exactly the same to you, but the servant woman clearly had a much more discerning eye than you, and skipped over most of the fabrics without even really considering them.

When she paused in front of one of the outfits, you craned your neck, trying to see which one had caught her attention, but your view was blocked by her torso. She glanced between the clothes and Takara a few times, then picked up the outfit and, still blocking it from your view, walked over to Takara.

“Please don’t touch her!” you blurted, once the woman was standing between you and your dragon. It was the closest thing to an argument you’d made all morning, and you just hoped you wouldn’t be punished for it.

“I won’t,” the woman responded, her voice gentler than you would’ve thought she was capable of. “I just want to make sure the color matches her scales.” As she considered the match, she continued to speak to you. “There are some undergarments on the chair beside the mirror. Do you see them?”

Glancing a little to the left of where you stood, you spotted the chair and the clothes she was talking about. “Yes ma’am.”

“I need you to take your towel off and put them on. You can step behind the mirrors if you would like a bit more privacy.”

“Thank you,” you sighed, the idea of being allowed a small amount of privacy so at the very least nobody else would see you naked giving you such a feeling of relief you worried for a moment that you might start crying. You hurriedly picked up the clothes, stepping into the small space behind the mirrors, which were in the corner of the room, and dropped your towel. The undergarments were nothing special, but wearing actual clothes again made you feel a little less out of your depth during this whole situation.

The servant woman was waiting for you when you stepped out from behind the mirror. “Just place your towel on the chair, if you will,” she instructed. She had the outfit draped over her arm, and though you couldn’t see all of it, you could see that it was the exact same shade of copper as Takara, which you were a little surprised by. You didn’t have long to linger on that realization, though, because as soon as you set your towel down on the chair, you were being guided to your previous spot in front of the mirrors by another servant.

Having multiple people invading your personal space in order to dress you quickly became overwhelming and, not having many other options, you closed your eyes, hoping maybe if you couldn’t see all the people working together to fasten your clothes around you, maybe you wouldn’t feel so overstimulated. Unfortunately, that didn’t help the way you hoped, the feeling of so many hands touching you at the same time too much for you to filter out in an effective way.

The hands touching you retreated after what felt like hours – though you knew logically it couldn’t have been more than just a few minutes – but before you felt brave enough to open  your eyes now that you weren’t being crowded by strangers, a set of hands began to rake some sort of product through your hair, presumably to keep it out of your face. The rough touch was the final straw, everything now too much for you to bear even a second longer.

“Stop it!” you shrieked, shaking your head and pushing away the hands that tried to grab at you. “I said stop it! Right this second! Don’t fucking touch me!” Your voice was shrill, significantly higher pitched than usual, and frantic to the point that you barely recognized it as your own voice. You felt yourself beginning to shake on top of it, but before you broke down in front of the servants, Satoru’s words from earlier echoed in your head.

You can throw a tantrum if they start to bother you. Always works for me.

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d really thrown any sort of fit, but if there was ever a time to really let yourself do such a thing, this was it. 

So you went for it. Leaned into the more theatrical parts of your current mood, keeping your voice loud and upset and contorting your expression into something demanding and angry, rather than distraught as you finally opened your eyes. “All of you get out of here! I don’t want to look at you right now. I want to see my friend.”

“Now listen here, Gojo-sama told us—”

“I don’t care what he said! If you don’t all leave and send Satoru in to see me, I’ll start breaking things.” You weren’t entirely certain where the words came from, but you couldn’t let your surprise show to the servants, or they would almost certainly call your bluff.

The servants all exchanged looks, most of their expressions rather unsure, until eventually the oldest servant gestured for everyone to leave the room. “I’ll make sure Gojo-dono is here as soon as possible to speak with you,” she told you, arching a brow at you the tiniest bit before she followed the others out of the room.

Once they were all gone, you practically deflated, all the fight leaving your body. What you really wanted to do was curl up in a corner and disappear, but you resisted the urge, instead walking over to the cushion Takara still sat on. Gently, you scooped her into your arms again, the simple feeling of her rib cage expanding and contracting with every breath she took serving to calm you a good deal. You weren’t entirely sure how long you stood there holding her when a rushed knock sounded at the door, and you turned in time to see Satoru stepping inside, barely remembering to shut the door behind himself in his hurry to get to you.

“You threatened to break things?” he asked, his eyes wide and a grin tugging at the corners of his lips. “I told you throwing a tantrum would work!”

Though you wanted to join in his enthusiasm, now that Satoru was here in front of you, it was taking every ounce of your self control not to burst into tears. He noticed the way your bottom lip began to tremble, and his expression quickly dropped from excited to concerned. He held his hands up somewhat helplessly between you, apparently unsure what to do to provide you comfort.

“Oh god, uh, please don’t cry. I’m sorry, I was trying to be supportive, I didn’t mean to upset you—”

“Didn’t upset me,” you cut him off, blinking rapidly to try and stave off your tears as you returned Takara to her cushion. “Could I hug you?” you asked, turning back to him. “Or are our clothes too expensive for that?”

Your weak attempt at a joke seemed to go over his head as he pulled you close, expression serious. “Who gives a shit about our clothes?” he asked, arms wrapped tightly around you. Once you’d wrapped your arms around him in return, he began to rock you side to side ever so slightly, thought you weren’t sure he was even doing it on purpose; it was something you’d frequently seen him doing over the years, almost any time he had to stand still for more than a few seconds, though he’d stopped doing it as much as you all got older. The familiarity of the move made you oddly nostalgic, and you lost the battle against your tears.

“Are you okay?” Satoru eventually asked, after your tears had quieted down to sniffles. He didn’t move to release you from the hug, though, which you greatly appreciated. 

“I’ve been better,” you admitted. Separating from him slightly, you wiped the last few straggling tears from your cheeks and looked up at him – when had he gotten tall enough for you to have to look up? you wondered, though you kept the thought to yourself. “How do you do this all the time? Don’t you just want to explode from all the attention?”

He tilted his head slightly as he looked at you, though his gaze was a bit unfocused as he considered your words. “I don’t think I notice all of this as much as you do,” he admitted eventually. “I’ve been putting up with all of this my whole life, so I’m just… used to it, I guess.” A soft sigh escaped him, and he gave a slight shrug. “I know that’s not really helpful, but it’s true. But you wanna know what else is true?”

“What?”

Satoru’s expression brightened a bit as he spoke. “Suguru and I are gonna be right by your side the whole celebration. We’re not gonna let anyone get too close, and if you want, we’ll sic Kenji and Niji on people so they leave us alone.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his words, sniffling and wiping your eyes once again. Though the promise to cause chaos on your behalf probably should have concerned you, it didn’t; you couldn’t feel anything but relief knowing that your friends would be there to stick up for you. “Thanks, ‘Toru.”

Dropping your hands from your face, it finally occurred to you that Satoru had come to see you all by himself. “Where is Kenji, anyways?” you asked curiously.

“He and Niji are being groomed for the event.”

“Groomed?”

“Yes.”

“How do you even groom a dragon?” You felt your brows furrow as you tried to imagine it; it’s not like dragons had fur that could be brushed, so you were having a bit of trouble imagining what else might be involved.

“I heard someone say something about giving them a bath,” Satoru said. “And then they’ll probably get their fluff trimmed up a bit and have their scales polished.”

“I’m sure Kenji’s thrilled about that,” you laughed, the mental image of the boisterous dragon being wrangled into a bathtub being exceptionally amusing to you.

This time Satoru laughed with you. “I’m sure I’ll have to spend days making it up to him with treats.” 

His words had you laughing again, though you were quickly cut off by the sound of your stomach growling, and embarrassment washed over you. “Sorry,” you apologized.

Satoru just frowned. “Did they not give you anything to eat?”

You shook your head. “No, they didn’t. I’m really hungry right now, though.”

He nodded slightly, then turned and walked over to the door. He poked his head out, having a brief conversation with someone that you could neither hear nor see, then closed the door and returned to your side. 

“Someone’s going to bring you something to eat,” he said simply.

“You didn’t have to do that, Satoru.”

He tilted his head slightly as he looked at you for a moment. “I’m not gonna let you starve all day just because my dad didn’t think about the fact that you need to eat.”

You found his words oddly endearing, with how much they showed he clearly cared about you, and you thanked him quietly. Not much else was said for a few moments, and then there was a soft knock on the door. The boy was quick to answer it, accepting a tray from whoever had knocked before turning away.

When you saw what was on the tray, your mouth started watering. There was a whole breakfast spread available to you – rice, miso soup, eggs, fruit – fresh tea, and even a few little chocolates on the side. Your stomach growled again, but this time you felt much less embarrassed about it. You waited until Satoru had set down the tray before launching yourself at the food, picking up the bowl of soup and bringing it to your lips, not even bothering with the spoon as you gulped down the broth. You only stopped when you heard your friend laugh softly.

“Sorry,” he apologized with a shake of his head. “Not trying to make fun of you or anything, I’ve just never seen you go at a meal like that before.”

“I haven’t eaten all day,” you reminded him, swallowing your mouthful and wiping away a stray drop of broth from your chin before it could touch your clothes. It wasn’t that late in the day, all things considered, but that didn’t change how hungry you really were. Knowing that eating too fast would only make you sick, you slowed down as you ate the rest of your food, occasionally offering small bites to Takara, who accepted exactly one bite of egg before refusing everything else.

As you ate, you and Satoru talked a bit more, not really discussing much of anything at all, but the conversation being a welcome distraction to what had overwhelmed you in the first place. Once you finally finished, you realized you felt much better about everything – or at the very least, you weren’t dreading what was to come as much. With a soft sigh, you glanced back over at the door; all the servants had left you alone, just as you’d asked – or demanded, rather – but you couldn’t imagine they’d gone very far from the room. “I should really let them finish getting me ready,” you said, if somewhat reluctantly. “I don’t want your father getting mad because I’m not cooperating.”

“Fuck my dad,” Satoru said. “Who cares what he thinks?”

You felt as if your eyes were going to pop out of your skull from the shock of hearing your friend say those words. “Satoru!” you exclaimed, looking around to make sure nobody else had heard him.

“What? It’s true!” he insisted, trying incredibly hard to hide his grin. “You’re the most important person in the settlement now – maybe even the whole world. Why do you care what my dad thinks anymore?”

Heat quickly spread across your face at his words. Your real answer of because he’s a grown up seemed a little silly when you thought about it the way Satoru had phrased it, so you just shrugged. Then, remembering his mother’s words from earlier that week, you replied, “Everyone is important, Satoru. Remember? And nobody is more important than anyone else.”

Now it was Satoru’s turn to get a little embarrassed, his face going red almost to the tips of his ears. You couldn’t help but notice how it made his eyes look even more blue than usual, though that thought had your own face burning even more. “Why do you always have to be right about stuff?” he groaned, burying his bright red face in his hands. He’d always been one for dramatics.

“‘Cause I know a lot of smart people.”

He peeked through his fingers at you. “Am I one of those smart people?”

“Hmm… Well, sometimes. Maybe,” you hummed, then giggled as he scowled at your teasing.

“Whatever,” he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. As usual, he wasn’t very good at hiding his true feelings, and you could see that he was barely suppressing a smile as he looked over at you. “I’ll see you again in a bit, okay?” He took your hand as he spoke, though whether the move was intentional or not, you weren’t entirely sure.

“‘Kay,” you agreed softly. “Bye, Satoru.”

He gave your hand a gentle squeeze, then turned and made his way out of the room, back to wherever he’d been before you’d demanded to see him. Shortly afterwards, the servants came filing back into the room, though they looked more wary of you than they had before they’d left.

“Feeling any better?” the head servant woman asked, arching a brow at you.

“Yes,” you said, then added sheepishly, “and I apologize for my outburst earlier. I shouldn’t have screamed at all of you.”

The servants blinked at your words, exchanging looks of surprise; apparently they weren’t used to getting apologies for such behavior.

“All is forgiven,” the head servant assured you, her expression seeming to soften a bit as she looked down at you. “It’s a lot to process if you’re not used to it. We are nearly finished, though. I only need to take care of your hair while the other girls get your accessories sorted, and then we’ll be done.”

Her explanation helped you feel a bit more at ease, and you nodded, easily allowing yourself to be led back in front of the mirror. As the head servant woman went back to taking care of your hair – running her fingers through it and using some sort of product to keep it back and out of your face – the two other servants went through the green accessories that had been brought into the room, comparing them to Takara’s eyes, trying to find the ones that matched the best. Most of the items didn’t make the cut, but eventually they turned to you with a few things: a small sash belt – more for decorative purposes than to actually hold your outfit in place – and two bracelets that looked like they were strung with real emeralds, though you didn’t dare to ask; you didn’t want to know how much money was sitting around your wrists.

While one of the women fastened the belt around your waist, the other clasped the bracelets around your wrists, making sure they were tight enough not to slip off, but not so tight that they were uncomfortable. The head servant woman tilted your head up gently, making sure you were looking straight forward before she fasted a hairpiece in place. It looked like a cross between a crown and a headband, thin strands of gold, silver, and bronze woven together in a circlet, the metal so finely polished it glinted even when it wasn’t in direct light. It sat atop your head in such a way that it kept your hair from falling into your eyes, and though they weren’t visible, you watched as several pins were put in your hair to keep the headpiece in place.

You stepped a bit closer to the mirrors, examining your reflection with wide eyes. You’d been utterly transformed with just a bit of work from the servant woman, without any of them even putting any sort of makeup or anything on your face. For the first time in your life, you looked… regal; you looked like you belonged with people like Satoru’s family. The kimono you wore looked like liquid copper pouring over you, the fabric weightless on you and lending an almost inhuman fluidity to every one of your movements; it was far and away the most luxurious thing you’d ever had the privilege of wearing, and though part of your mind was fretting over not messing the outfit up, you were mostly just in awe of how you looked.

The servants allowed you a few moments to look over yourself in the mirror, then called you back so they could help you into your shoes; a pair of waraji sandals, though these ones were made with a sturdy wooden sole and brown leather straps, rather than the ones made of rope fiber that you saw many other people in the settlement wearing from day to day. Despite being made from wood, you found the shoes surprisingly comfortable. You weren’t sure how long the celebration event was going to last, but at the very least you wouldn’t be stuck in uncomfortable shoes the whole time. 

After a moment of consideration, the head servant woman turned to one of the vanities and picked up a few small tins of what you could only assume was makeup, and you couldn’t help but feel disappointed; you’d hope you’d be able to avoid that. When she explained to you that all she was putting on you was a bit of tint to your brows and lashes, and a tiny bit of blush to your cheeks, you relaxed again; at least you wouldn’t have to wear anything on your lips.

“All finished,” she said after a few moments, offering you what you were surprised to see was a small smile. “Now that you’re ready, I’ll take you to meet with the others. You may bring the cushion for your dragon, if you wish.”

You nodded at her words, scooping Takara up into your arms and, after a brief moment of hesitation, you grabbed the pillow, as well, tucking it under your arm as you hurried out of the room.

Though your nerves had settled a good deal after getting to see Satoru, they began to eat at you again, your anxiety gnawing at your stomach, squeezing your throat and quickening your pulse. The nearer you drew to the front doors of the house, the worse you felt, every step somehow making the hallway smaller and smaller around you. Each breath you took felt more difficult, not quite able to pull enough air into your lungs anymore. Faintly, you heard someone call your name, and though the voice was familiar, you couldn’t quite pinpoint who it was until they stood in front of you.

“Are you alright?” Suguru asked, his voice gentle and his face concerned. You blinked a few times as you looked up at him, though he said nothing else as he waited patiently for a response from you. 

“I…” you began lamely, then let out a sharp breath before trying again. “I’m a bit overwhelmed, I guess…” The unintentional confession slipped a bit too easily from your lips for your liking, but there was no taking the words back once they were out.

Suguru’s expression only softened at your words, and he offered you a small smile. “That’s understandable,” he assured you. “There’s a lot happening today. I think I’d be a little concerned if you weren’t overwhelmed. But it’s alright, we’re here with you.” He turned and looked over his shoulder then, and you followed his gaze to where Satoru stood with his parents, Kenji pacing beside him while Niji sat obediently beside where Suguru had been standing just a moment before. 

The sight of your best friend eased your fears even more, and it felt a bit easier to breathe when he smiled at you. You noticed then that his starlight hair had been slicked back from his face, but you already knew that he would be running his fingers through it to get it back to its usual fluffy state.

“Come on,” Suguru urged, pulling you from your thoughts. “The celebration is starting soon, we can’t have the guest of honor arrive late.” The faint hint of teasing that ran through his words got a smile out of you, and you followed him over to the rest of the group. For a brief moment, you worried that you would be expected to lead the way to the city center, but much to your relief, Gojo-sama informed you that you’d be taking up the rear, with Kenji and Niji on either side of you. Though you would have preferred to walk between your friends, rather than behind them, you said nothing, not wanting to risk invoking Gojo-sama’s anger right before you were presented to everyone in the settlement.

Before you could all turn to leave, though, Gojo-hime’s soft voice called out from down the hall. She walked quickly until she reached the group, smiling as she knelt down in front of you. “I’m glad I caught you before you left,” she said, taking you in for a moment. “You look lovely in these colors,” she added, fingers trailing down one of your sleeves lightly before meeting your eyes again. “I just wanted to come and say I know you’re going to be wonderful tonight. Being the center of attention can be scary, but you can do it.”

Her words had tears burning your eyes, and you blinked rapidly to try and keep them from falling. “Thank you, Gojo-hime,” you whispered, clearing your throat softly and looking away afterwards.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” She pushed herself up from the floor then, standing slowly as she turned to your friends. “Satoru,” she murmured fondly, then pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Can you promise you’ll behave this time?”

“I’ll try,” Satoru promised, his voice a little quieter than usual, and you weren’t surprised when you glanced at his face again and saw him blushing all the way to the tips of his ears.

That drew a soft laugh from the woman, and she brushed her knuckles lightly across his cheek. “I appreciate that,” she murmured, then turned her attention to your other friend. “Will you help keep him in line, Suguru?”

It was the raven haired boy’s turn to blush then, and he nodded. “Of course, Gojo-hime.”

“Thank you,” she sighed, seeming genuinely a bit relieved by the words. “All three of you try to have some fun together, alright? I’ll see you all later.” With that, she nodded to her husband and bid the rest of you farewell before making her way back down the hall. She hadn’t said why she wouldn’t be joining you for the celebration, but the way she pressed her fingers to her temples as she walked told you more than enough.

Not wanting to waste any more time, Gojo-sama turned and resumed his path to the front doors, pushing them open with a flourish and making his way down the walkway that led out of the estate and eventually right into the city, leaving you and the boys to scramble to catch up with him. Soon enough, though, you all fell into step behind him, four sets of wooden shoes clicking against the stones of the path nearly in sync; you were the shortest of the group, so you couldn’t quite match the rhythm of their steps without falling behind.

Your procession was slow, and while you were sure it was because Gojo-sama didn’t want to arrive at the celebration with even a single hair out of place, the longer it took to arrive and get the evening over with, the more anxious you became. In an effort to keep your mind occupied with something – anything – else, you focused on your friends, taking in their appearances for the first time since you’d reunited with them.

Satoru was wearing a white kimono, secured around the waist with a blue belt. It was simple, but paired with his hair and his eyes, it was striking. When he turned his head to steal a quick glimpse at you, he looked almost ethereal, despite the boyishness that still softened his features. Your eyes flitted away almost as soon as they met his, but you still noticed the way the corner of his lips turned up slightly as he turned away once again.

Apparently curious by what had caught Satoru’s attention – or possibly concerned about your current emotional state, or some combination of the two, you weren’t entirely sure which – Suguru glanced over his shoulder at you, as well. His features were still a bit soft with youth, but they’d always seemed more sophisticated to you, almost regal; he may not have been born with any noble blood in his family, but you wouldn’t know that just from looking at him. Dodging his gaze, too, you dropped your eyes, focusing instead on his outfit. The kimono he wore was black, though you noticed the tiniest hint of purple woven into the fabric when it caught the light just right; it seemed to form some sort of pattern, but you couldn’t quite make it out. The belt secured around his waist was yellow, and while out of context it was not a color you would have liked, knowing that it matched the shade of Niji’s eyes made it a bit more appealing.

Just then it occurred to you that all of you were dressed to match your dragons. You craned your neck to try and better see the colors Gojo-sama was wearing, but a large robe hid his outfit from your view. Maybe it’s just the three of us, you thought, once you’d given up on trying to see what Satoru’s father was wearing. Since Satoru and Suguru are the only ones with solid color dragons, and I’m the only one with a metallic dragon. Maybe we’re supposed to stand out more from everyone else. 

You continued to walk in silence behind everyone else for a few moments, when you suddenly realized something else: even if Gojo-sama was dressed to match his dragon, you wouldn’t have been able to tell; as far as you could remember, you’d never seen his dragon with him. The urge to tap Satoru on the shoulder and ask where his father’s dragon was was nearly overwhelming, but it lost to your common sense and your desire to avoid enraging the older man, especially before you were to be paraded around in front of everyone in the settlement. The curiosity still gnawed at you, though, and you resolved to ask your best friend about it later, when Gojo-sama was no longer in earshot.

Despite the slow pace, it wasn’t long until the sounds of music and people talking and laughing began to filter up from the city square. The sound was not unpleasant, but it made your situation really set in: you were about to be present to everyone who lived in the settlement. They were all going to stare at you, a lot of them were going to want to talk to you, and some of them might even try to touch Takara. Those thoughts spun around in your head, chasing each other in circles like Kenji and Niji often chased each other, and with every passing second you felt more and more consumed by the anxiety those thoughts filled you with. You were so caught up in those thoughts, in fact, that you didn’t even realize your friends had stopped walking until you ran into them.

Takara let out a squawk as she was briefly squished into your chest, the noise somewhere between offended and startled. You managed to hold her steady in your arms, though the pillow you’d been carrying slipped from beneath your arm. Suguru was quick to reach out and catch it before it could hit the ground, and for that you were thankful.

“Woah, hey, are you alright?” Satoru asked, placing a hand on your arm. His brows were furrowed with worry, and a frown tugged the corners of his lips down a bit. It wasn’t an expression you particularly liked on him, especially when you were the reason for it, but there was something reassuring about it in that moment; knowing he cared about you enough to feel such concern.

“I-I… uh…” you stammered, staring blankly up at him. The inside of your head was still so loud, so busy, that it drowned out your ability to do anything else. “I’m…”

You heard Suguru call your name, and you turned your head enough to look up at him, rather than Satoru. His expression was equally pinched, and you found that you didn’t like that, either; you hated knowing you were the cause of such worry for them, your two best friends in the world. “It’s okay,” he promised. “You’ll be okay. Can you take a deep breath?”

You tried to do as he asked, breathing in slowly, the air entering your lungs in a stutter, catching in your throat for reasons you didn’t understand. You were quick to exhale, much quicker than you had inhaled, and for some reason the act felt out of your control.

“Good, that was good,” Suguru encouraged, a small smile on his lip now, rather than a frown. “Can you try again? I’ll do it with you.” He waited until you nodded, then took a slow, deep breath in, held it for a few seconds, then slowly breathed out again. Matching him was still a bit tricky, but you managed well enough that you once again felt in control of your body.

“Feel better?” Satoru asked, once you seemed less tense and were breathing more steadily. He squeezed your arm lightly in reassurance, and you turned your attention back to him.

“A little,” you agreed. There were still nerves and a sense of unease lingering in the back of your mind, but they weren’t going anywhere any time soon, so you knew you’d just have to push through them for the evening. 

Satoru’s expression softened at your words, but before he could say anything further, his father turned around to see what had stopped the three of you in your tracks.

“Stop standing around,” Gojo-sama hissed, frowning deeply as he looked the three of you over. “We’re nearly there, now is not the time to drag your feet or start causing problems.”

“Apologies, Gojo-sama,” Suguru replied, bowing to the man as he spoke. “I just wanted to make sure they were feeling alright before we were in front of everyone.”

“Nonsense, they’re fine,” the man replied quickly, not even glancing at you; if he had, he would have seen that you were decidedly not fine, but you doubted he cared about that at all. “Now hurry up, I won’t have you embarrassing me or our family.”

“You shouldn’t speak so unkindly to them,” Satoru was quick to snap back, leveling his father with a harsh look.

Clearly taken aback by his son’s attitude, Gojo-sama simply stared at him for a moment. “What did you just say to me?”

“I said, you shouldn’t speak so unkindly to them,” Satoru repeated, an edge to his voice that hadn’t been there a moment before. “You’re being quite rude.”

“You would do well to remember your place, Satoru,” Gojo-sama warned, something almost cruel glinting in his cold blue eyes.

“And you would do well to remember yours. There’s a metallic dragon rider in your presence. Soon enough you won’t be the top authority in the settlement anymore.”

A chill ran down your spine at your friend’s words, and you exchanged a nervous glance with Suguru. Swallowing around the lump in your throat, you forced yourself to speak, to intervene before the confrontation devolved into something even less pleasant. “Satoru, Gojo-sama,” you said, silently thanking whatever deity might be listening that your voice didn’t shake. “We have a celebration to get to. I don’t want to disappoint the people, and I would hate for all the hard work to make the celebration happen on such short notice go to waste. We should go.” 

Though your words rang with conviction, you couldn’t have believed them any less. You didn’t care if you left everyone in the settlement hanging, and you didn’t really care if Gojo-sama spent more money than you could ever dream of having on a celebration that didn’t accomplish what it was meant to. All you cared about was being with your friends, and with finally being able to go home with your parents when this was all over. It didn’t matter to you that those were selfish concerns and desires, and it didn’t matter that being selfish like that was childish; you were still a child, after all. Regardless of your actual feelings, though, you hoped that your words would be enough to convince at least Gojo-sama to be practical and follow the plan for the evening, rather than lay into his only son to put him in his place.

The Gojo clan patriarch narrowed his eyes at his son for a long moment, as if silently debating the merit of beating the attitude out of his child right then and there, before he straightened up once again. “You’re right,” he agreed, sparing you only a fleeting glance before turning his back to the three of you once again. “We have an event to attend and appearances to uphold. Everyone back in line.”

You heard Satoru muttering under his breath as he followed his father’s orders, getting back into his place in the procession, his back to you and Suguru to his right. The raven haired boy offered you one last comforting smile and passed Takara’s cushion back to you, then returned to his place, as well. Kenji and Niji, who had remained uncharacteristically motionless on either side of you this whole time, chuffed quietly at each other, then bumped your sides lightly with their heads. With that, all of you were off once again, the city square growing closer with every step.

In an effort to keep your mind occupied and prevent another spiral like before, you looked down at your hatchling, now settled on her cushion, rather than cradled against your chest. Nobody had said anything to you about the way you’d been carrying her, but it had seemed obvious to you that it would look better – and certainly more dramatic – if you arrived with Takara in full view of the people in the settlement, rather than having her lost in the folds of your kimono. 

For once, your dragon was fully awake and alert, sitting oh so perfectly in the middle of the cushion and looking around at everything around her, though she still ignored Kenji and Niji; you were starting to think she was doing it on purpose. After a moment, she tilted her head back to look up at you, her emerald eyes wide and twinkling in the dimming light. Whether she knew how important she was, or how big of a deal was about to be made of her existence was unclear to you, but you could tell she did know that whatever was happening was important, not something to be slept through. She chirped at you quietly, as if to tell you everything would be okay, and stared for a few moments longer before turning her gaze forward again.

You followed her lead, though when you lifted your head to look in front of you, you were more than a little shocked to realize you were right outside the city square. The music had stopped, and everyone had gone silent, watching your procession and parting to make way for Gojo-sama. Your nerves began to creep in again, tightening your throat and chest and amplifying every little noise around you. You forced yourself to keep your eyes straight ahead, rather than darting around at the crowd in some futile attempt to spot a familiar, comforting face, and you found that that helped curb your anxiety. 

At first, the only sounds that filled the air were your procession’s wooden shoes on the stone of the square and the soft tinkling sounds of the glass windchimes as a breeze passed through. You weren’t sure if you were thankful for the silence or unsettled by it, but once people noticed Takara, you wanted the silence back.

It wasn’t hard to figure out when your hatchling was spotted by people; whispers swept through the crowd like a river, everyone’s voices hushed, and yet still it nearly made your ears ring to hear so many people talking all at once, especially since it was you they were speaking about. You couldn’t make out any particular words, but you knew what they were all wondering: why here, why now, why you, of all people? Things had been peaceful for your entire life, and as far as anyone else was aware, there were no looming threats on the horizon, no reason for there to be a metallic dragon showing up so suddenly, much less bonding with a commoner like you when there were plenty of other children about your age from more important and respected families than yours.

Everyone is important in their own way, Gojo-hime’s words rang in your head. Everyone is equally important. None of us can do what we do without each other.

The reminder washed over you, clearing your mind of anxieties almost entirely; it didn’t matter if anyone else didn’t think you were important enough to be a metallic dragon’s rider, because they weren’t any more important than you were. And even if there was anyone that was more important than you, that didn’t matter, either. Takara was your dragon, and you were her rider, and there was nothing that could be done to change that, regardless of what anyone in any position of authority might have wanted.

Though it felt like an eternity had passed since you first stepped into the square, you eventually ascended the steps of the platform in the middle of the square. Satoru and Suguru stepped off to the side, Gojo-sama standing directly behind them. Knowing what was expected of you but nowhere near happy about it, you stepped forward until you stood in front of them, then turned to face the crowd. This time, you weren’t able to keep yourself from searching the crowd for someone – anyone – you recognized, whose face would hopefully bring you some level of comfort. Just before Gojo-sama began to speak, you spotted your parents, nearly as close to the platform as they could get. They both smiled at you, relief at being able to see you again written plainly across their faces. That same relief nearly overwhelmed you, and you had to blink rapidly to avoid bursting into tears right then and there; it would displease Satoru’s father, and you didn’t want the small amount of makeup the servants had put on you to run down your face.

“Friends and neighbors!” Gojo-sama called out. Despite the fact that your back was to him, you knew he was wearing a fake, if somewhat smug, smile as he spoke. “I apologize for not telling any of you what this celebration is for before this, but I didn’t want to spoil the surprise! As you can all see, our settlement has once again been blessed with the presence of a metallic dragon. A metallic dragon has not been seen anywhere in the world since the last one was born here and bonded with one of my ancestors, over three hundred years ago.”

You felt the way his eyes landed on you before speaking again. “The dragon may not have bonded with someone born into the Gojo clan this time, but I assure you that my family will be taking a special interest in the care, training, and education of both the dragon and her rider. Whatever the reason for this dragon’s arrival, we will be well prepared.” Another hushed murmur rippled through the crowd, but Gojo-sama was quick to keep it from growing into complete unrest. “For now, though, let us celebrate! We are blessed to be in the presence of such a creature.”

The murmur quickly roared into a cheer, and the music was quick to begin playing again, loud and cheerful, a perfect fit for a celebration such as this one. Unsure of what you were or were not allowed to do, now that the announcement about Takara had been made, you glanced over your shoulder at Satoru, trying to catch his eye. When that failed, you turned the other direction in an attempt to catch Suguru’s eye, instead.

He didn’t look your way at first, but when he did, he offered you a small smile and a nod; even without words, his assurance did wonders for the anxieties that still plagued your mind. As best as you could, you glanced behind Suguru to Gojo-sama, then back to Suguru. You wanted to know if you were allowed to move, to leave the platform and enjoy the festivities that were happening, but you didn’t dare to turn around and ask.

Apparently catching your silent question, Suguru nodded again, then turned to Satoru and bumped him a bit. You turned back to face forward, then, not wanting it to be obvious that you were the one with the question to begin with. As you heard the boys shuffling a bit behind your back, you looked down at Takara; she still seemed more alert than usual, but far less interested in her surroundings than when you’d first stepped into the city square.

“Father,” came Satoru’s voice. “We’re going to find our friends and grab something to eat. We’ll be back.” The fact that he didn’t phrase it like a question, and didn’t ask if you could go with him and Suguru both thrilled and terrified you, especially since he had already butted heads so intensely on the way to the festival.

“The two of you may go,” Gojo-sama replied easily, “but be quick about it. They must stay here, however.”

Instantly, tears filled your eyes, and your shoulders sagged, the sadness from not being allowed to even try to find your friends much heavier than you could have anticipated. All of this had been planned and was happening in honor of you and your dragon, and you weren’t even allowed to participate. It was a crushing feeling to experience.

“Why?” Satoru snapped, the edge from before sharpening his voice once again. “This festival is for them, is it not?”

“They are the reason for the celebration, yes. That means they need to be visible to people, to remind them and inspire them. So your friend must remain here.” Somehow the Gojo patriarch maintained his cool, but you knew he couldn’t possibly be so relaxed about the attitude his son was giving him.

“Wouldn’t they be more visible and inspiring if they were allowed to walk around, to talk to people? Don’t you think people would be better reminded of the reason for all this if they got to see Takara a little closer?” You couldn’t remember the last time you’d heard your friend this worked up, but it made your stomach flip to know he was so willing to defend you against anything he perceived as unfair.

There was a long, tense silence, and you were pretty sure you stopped breathing, the urge not to draw any further attention to yourself winning out against everything else, if only for a few moments.

“…Very well,” Gojo-sama eventually conceded, though he still sounded a bit irked. “Don’t be gone too long, though. The dancing will begin as soon as the sun goes down.”

“Thank you, Gojo-sama,” you heard Suguru say, then felt a hand at your back, gently guiding you back towards the steps of the platform. “Come on,” he encouraged quietly. “I doubt he’ll change his mind, but I don’t want to take any chances.”

You didn’t argue, not wanting to risk being called back to stand in front of everyone like a statue simply because Gojo-sama changed his mind. Chancing a glance over at Satoru as you all hurried down the steps and into the crowd, you saw his face was flushed with anger, his brows pinched together hard in the middle of his forehead; he was even more upset than you realized.

“‘Toru?” you called softly, trying to get his attention and hopefully pull him out of his negative thoughts. “What’s wrong?”

“Nobody should get to take youth away from young people,” he replied. His tone had softened a bit, now that he was talking to you and not his father, but he didn’t seem any less upset. “Nobody, no matter what power they hold, should be allowed to do that. We’re still just kids, why the fuck can’t we act like it?”

Though you had heard your friend swear before, it still caught you off guard a bit when he did; you weren’t sure if it was because he swore rather infrequently, or because you were all still “too young” to be using language like that – according to the adults in your lines, anyways – or if it was something else entirely, but you supposed it didn’t really matter all that much, since your reaction was still the same every time. 

“What do you mean?” you asked tentatively.

A long sigh escaped him then, both frustrated and weary. “My father,” he said after a moment, running his fingers through his hair to get it back to its fluff, perfectly messy state; the slicked back style had lasted longer than you expected, but you were glad he was undoing it now. “Expecting you to just… stand there like a decoration, or something, and not letting you even say hi to your friends or even get a snack, or anything like that. Not wanting to let you still be a kid, even though we’re not even teenagers yet. It’s stupid, and it’s not fair. I can’t let him do that, especially not to you, or us.”

A brief pause, then Suguru spoke. “You really shouldn’t use language like that, Satoru. It’s not polite.”

Satoru scowled at his friend, but he pointedly did not acknowledge his words. “What do you guys want to eat, anyway? I’m starving, and we need to eat something before we have to dance.”

“Dance?” you asked, pausing long enough to lift Takara from the pillow and drape her across the back of your neck so you wouldn’t have to worry about dropping her. The words really hit you just a few seconds later, and you remembered that Gojo-sama had said something about dancing, too, before you’d all hurried off. “What dance? What are you talking about?”

“It’s a traditional dance,” Satoru explained, looking around at the various food stalls as he walked, trying to find something he wanted. “When the sun goes down, they’ll light a bonfire, and a few of us will do a very fancy looking, very annoying dance until we’re almost sweating through our clothes, and then we’ll all go home because we’ll be too tired to participate in the festivities anymore.”

“…will I have to dance?” you asked after a moment, glancing over at Suguru somewhat nervously. Nobody had even mentioned a dance to you, much less bothered to teach it to you, but you couldn’t imagine that you would be allowed to abstain from the activity. 

Satoru paused then, turning back to face you, confusion plastered on his features. “Nobody said anything to you?”

You shook your head, swallowing thickly. Before you could get too caught up in your thoughts again, though, Suguru carefully took your free hand in his own, giving it a light squeeze.

“It’ll be okay,” he promised. “You probably will have to dance, but Satoru and I will guide you through it.”

“It’s not hard,” Satoru added, and you could tell he was trying to hide his annoyance, but he wasn’t all that good at it.

“But you just said—”

“I said it looks fancy,” he interjected, his expression truly softening now. “But it’s not hard, I promise. If it was hard, I would tell you. Have I ever lied to you before?”

“No,” you conceded, then let out a shaking breath. He really hadn’t ever lied to you, and you couldn’t imagine that he would start now, not when it would lead to public humiliation for you. 

“Exactly. Now, come on. We really do need to eat something before we have to dance until our legs fall off.”

Ignoring all the festival attendees was easier than you expected, as you allowed yourself to be led to various food stalls. Kenji and Niji walked far enough away from the three of you to create a bit of a bubble, and nobody was able to get close enough to make you uncomfortable, which was a big relief. Though you’d originally said you didn’t have much of an appetite because of nerves, both boys insisted you needed to eat so you didn’t collapse during the dance. You decided to humor them, and once you started eating you realized you were famished, and you distantly realized it was probably because the only thing you’d had to eat that day was the snack Satoru had managed to get for you when he came to see you after you’d thrown a fit.

Before you knew it, you’d devoured a taiyaki with red bean filling, four takoyaki so hot you’d burned the roof of your mouth, and an onigiri with curry in the middle. After that, Suguru convinced you to take a break and get something to drink. “We really don’t want you getting sick,” he’d explained when you tried to argue. 

Just as you finished the tea that Satoru had gotten you, you noticed the lanterns being lit around the edges of the square, and your heart sank; it was almost time for you to perform a dance with your boys – a dance that you had never learned, at that – in front of the entire settlement, and you hadn’t so much as glimpsed any of your other friends.

“We should go,” Suguru said softly, taking your hand once again and leading you back towards the platform. Satoru quickly reached your other side, taking your other hand – you’d misplaced Takara’s cushion at some point, and though you were sure Gojo-sama would be less than pleased about that, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care at that moment. You allowed your friends to lead you back to the platform without any sort of fuss, not having the energy to fight anything, even if you had wanted to fight them in the first place. When the three of you reached the platform steps, Satoru and Suguru released your hands, both of them turning to face you.

“Are you ready?” Suguru asked gently, tilting his head slightly. You knew he meant well and was just trying to check in on you, but the wording of his question felt a little silly; no, you weren't ready, and you never would be, but what choice did you have? You said none of that, though, giving a slight nod instead. 

“As I’ll ever be, I guess,” you sighed, offering him your best smile in return, though you doubted it was very convincing. 

“You’re gonna want to put Takara down for this,” Satoru said, and you felt a small, sharp jolt of panic, that you realized afterwards wasn’t entirely your own; maybe your bond with Takara was going to take longer to get used to than you thought.

“Why?” you asked, a frown tugging at the corners of  your lips.

“There’s a lot of twirling and spinning. I don’t want her to fall, or to claw up your neck trying to hold on,” he explained, his expression nearly as soft as his snowy hair, and you felt your worry melt away nearly as quickly as it had hit you.

“Oh, okay. Uh…” you looked around for a moment, trying to figure out where to set your hatchling down; you were regretting misplacing the cushion now. “Where should I put her?”

“I’ll hold her for you, baby,” your mother said, and you turned to face her with wide eyes.

“Mom,” you sighed, breaking out into a grin before you could help it. You nearly threw yourself at her, and a small, shaky breath escaped you as she held you close. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she replied, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead before pulling away. “I’ll take good care of her, I promise. And when this is all over, your father and I are going to take you home, okay?”

You nodded again, almost feeling as if you were going to cry again. You managed not to, though, and carefully lifted Takara from her place under the neck of your kimono. She chittered softly at you, but she quieted down quickly once she was in your mother’s arms.

Once you were sure Takara was taken care of, you turned back to your friends. “How does the dance go?” you asked, hoping your nerves didn’t bleed into your words too badly. You trusted Satoru when he told you the dance wasn’t hard, but you were still worried about making a fool of yourself in front of everyone.

“It’s hard to explain,” Satoru replied, his head cocked slightly to the side; he looked like he was trying to think of a way to explain the dance to you, though unfortunately he seemed to be coming up dry.

“Satoru and I will go first,” Suguru said, stepping in while his friend seemed to struggle. “Just watch us for a bit, and one of us will bring you in when it’s a good time, okay?” His usual gentle smile softened his face as he spoke, and, just as it always did, it put you at ease.

“Okay,” you agreed, managing to offer a small smile back. 

Both boys nodded at you, then commanded their dragons to stay back as the two of them stepped into the space that had been cleared in front of the platform where fuel for a bonfire had been built up. Your friends stood next to each other on the side closest to you, and you watched as a few other people stepped out of the crowd to stand around the bonfire. You thought you recognized most of them as members of other well to do families from the settlement, though you didn’t know their names. They seemed to be about your age for the most part, a few of them maybe a year or two older, but it quickly became apparent that no adults would be involved in this dance. 

A hush settled over the crowd as Gojo-sama approached the pile of wood, a lit torch in his hand. He looked slowly around the square for a moment, expression unreadable, then said in a booming voice, “Now it is time for the new generation to honor those that have come before, and perform the traditional dance to welcome a metallic dragon.” He tossed the torch into the woodpile, the dry branches roaring to life almost instantly. The roar of the fire and the cheering of the crowd drowned out any other words the man might have spoken, so he simply gestured for the musicians to begin playing again before he stepped back onto the platform.

As the music began – a very different song than before, this one sounding old and promising and full of magic – Satoru and Suguru turned away from the fire to face each other, each of them offering the other a slight bow before they really began to dance. Their movements were elegant, nimble, and seemingly effortless, not a single breath out of place as they moved, spinning and winding and stepping away from each other before coming right back. You noticed quickly that it was really only a few movements repeated in about three different patterns, and for that you were thankful; at least once you got used to the movements things would go smoothly. Distantly, you realized that all the other dancers around the bonfire must have been dancing the same way, but you didn’t care about them, not when you couldn’t take your eyes off of your friends and the way they moved together as if they were born to do this dance together. Watching them dance was like watching Kenji and Niji fight; fluid, coordinated movements without needing to communicate, black and white in a natural push and pull that was nearly impossible to look away from.

It was unclear to you exactly how much time had passed since the dance had begun, your focus more on watching the boys and trying to get a sense of the dance you would soon be pulled into, but soon enough they split apart; Suguru turned to dance with one of the girls from the other families, and Satoru turned to you and held out his hand. Heart hammering in your chest, you were quick to take it, not wanting to cause a disruption in the flow of the dance. You stared up at Satoru with wide eyes then, the crackling of the fire louder now that you were up close with it.

Your best friend looked down at you with a smile, releasing your hand and taking a half step back. “You’ve got this,” he assured you, then offered you the same small bow he’d offered Suguru before. You managed to return it, then jumped into the dance itself. You’d never been the most graceful person, but you felt especially clumsy trying to do the dance with no practice. Though you knew it wouldn’t do your balance any favors, you kept looking down at your feet, trying to make sure you had all the steps right. A set of waraji sandals entered your view – wooden-soled just like yours, but with white leather straps rather than brown – and a familiar voice called your name.

“Don’t look down,” Satoru encouraged, and when you lifted your head, you saw he was still smiling at you. “Look at me. It’s just us right now, yeah? It’s just you and me. You can do this.” He spoke with such conviction that you couldn’t help but believe him, and you nodded, smiling back at him.

“I can do this,” you agreed. The steps came easier to you after that, and you kept your eyes locked on your best friend as you danced, spinning and winding around him just as Suguru had, though your moves were a bit less polished.

Just when you felt you were really getting into the rhythm of the music and finding your stride, Satoru spoke again. “We’re about to be finished,” he explained in a low voice, only for you to hear. “You’ll be dancing with Suguru next. When it’s time to switch, I’ll tell you to turn around, and he’ll be waiting for you.”

All you could give in response was a nod, feeling a bit more out of breath than your friend, who still hadn’t even broken a sweat, as far as you could tell. It was only a few moments later that you heard a slight shift in the music, and Satoru told you to turn around before doing so himself. You did as you were told, turning around to become Suguru’s partner.

The dark haired boy smiled at you when you were facing each other again, and you blinked in surprise when you saw his hair. It was pulled back from his face in a bun, like he usually wore it now that it was getting longer, but all the dancing and spinning had caused a small, slightly shorter section in the front to fall down in front of his eyes.

“Your hair looks nice like that,” you panted, not even thinking about the words before you said them aloud. Once you realized what you’d said, you felt your cheeks burn a bit more than they already were.

Suguru seemed a bit surprised by your words, but not upset, if his smile was anything to go by. “You think so?” he asked, as the two of you exchanged bows. “Maybe I’ll wear it like this on purpose now. It never wants to stay put, anyways.”

A small laugh tumbled from your lips at his words, but it was all you could manage before beginning to dance again. Now that you were more familiar with the steps and how they flowed together, you were able to loosen up a bit, and worry less about whether you were going to accidentally step on Suguru’s feet – something you did, in fact, wind up doing, but he waved off.

“I still have my toes,” he teased softly, and you chanced a quick look down to make sure he wasn’t lying about not being hurt. Sure enough, his feet were fine, his own sandals still held securely in place by their black leather straps. Once that little hiccup was out of the way, though, you felt much better. 

By the time you were passed back to Satoru, you were much more comfortable, smiling more easily despite how breathless you felt. You danced until you felt certain your legs were going to collapse beneath you, and until you began to feel a bit dizzy from how much spinning around you were doing. Just before you were going to have to step out of the dance, though, the music crescendoed before ending with a flourish, and you nearly wept with relief. The gathered crowd broke out into cheers and applause again, and at the same moment, your best friends both threw themselves at you to wrap you up in a hug. You laughed and hugged them back as best you could for a few long moments, only pulling away when you heard your mother call your name.

“It’s time to go home,” she told you gently. “It’s getting very late, and you need to rest.”

You nodded at her words, knowing she was right and longing for your own bed back at home, but you were reluctant to part from the boys; you’d spent every waking moment and then some with them for over a week, and you didn’t know how you were going to be able to sleep without them in the same room with you.

Sensing your hesitation, Satoru squeezed you tighter. “Go home,” he murmured. “We’ll see you soon. You’ll be attending lessons and training with us now, remember?”

“Get some sleep,” Suguru agreed, also holding you a bit closer. “I’m sure Satoru will drag me into town tomorrow to cause problems.”

“I’ll wait until after breakfast,” Satoru promised, and you all laughed softly. 

“Bye,” you whispered, finally releasing them from your hold. They whispered it back, waving as you walked back to your parents. You gladly accepted Takara back from your mother, smiling as she bumped her head against your cheek before draping herself around your neck once again. 

Your parents kept you close as they picked out a path through the crowd, somehow managing to get you out of the square without anyone trying to stop you to talk or to ask to see your dragon. Having Spark around to growl at people is nice, sometimes, you thought to yourself. Once you were away from the brightly lit city square and the heat brought by the bonfire and the crowd, you found yourself yawning and shivering as you walked, the faint breeze quickly chilling the sweat on your skin.

“Your bed is ready for you when we get home,” your father promised, and you nodded, thanking him softly and leaning against him slightly as you walked. It wasn’t too far to your house, thankfully, and your parents quickly ushered you inside. You stumbled a bit on your way to your bedroom, and you didn’t even dream of protesting as your mother followed you, being quick but careful as she helped you out of your kimono, folding the material and placing it on your dresser, then setting each of the accessories you wore on top of it: first the belt, then the bracelets, then the headpiece. She helped you out of your sandals, then placed them by the door. You weren’t sure why she was being so careful with everything, but you were too tired to ask. 

Giving you a moment to pull on something else to sleep in, your mother stepped into the bathroom, returning a few moments later with a damp cloth. She knelt in front of you, her touch gentle as she wiped the remains of your makeup from your face, though you were fairly certain you had already sweat most of it off. Eventually she deemed you clean enough, and you yawned, rubbing your eyes; you couldn’t remember the last time you were so tired.

At some point while helping you undress, your mother had placed Takara on your pillow, and she had fallen asleep waiting for you. Gently, you lifted her from her spot, holding her in one arm as you crawled beneath your blankets for the night. You looked up at your parents as they walked to your bedside, and you smiled as they took turns leaning down to kiss you on the forehead and tell you goodnight. You mumbled back an almost unintelligible “goodnight,�� sleep quickly overtaking you now that you were in comfortable clothes and in your own bed for the first time in so long. Tomorrow was the first day of your new life, but for now, you were glad to be home.

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[honeygrahambitch]

Hi, I'm new to the fandom and unsure who to ask my questions. I recently joined Tumblr and came across your posts while browsing the Hannibal meta tag. I have a few questions: What are Hannibal's feelings towards Bedelia and Alana? I remember Mads once said that Hannibal is in love with everyone on the show to some extent, so what exactly does love mean to him? Also, I'm having trouble understanding the line by Will: "You will only do that if I rejected you" (sorry, I paraphrased). I apologize if these are too many questions. Thanks in advance!

Hi anon! I am in a yapping mood so here we go.

1. What are Hannibal's feelings towards Bedelia and Alana?

They are absolutely women that he appreciates and respects to some extent. Hannibal does not engage with people he doesn't respect. Bedelia is his colleague and...friend? Depends who you ask cause Hannibal did say that he considered her his friend. He doesn't love her, but she matches his freak to some extent. She is a beautiful woman and she is intelligent and most importantly, she probably knows him better than anyone (up until the point he meets Will at least).

He was also very genuine towards Alana. He did use her as an alibi but I stand my ground when I say that he offered her to run away genuinely because he cared about her. She is also intelligent and beautiful, what's not to like about her? (i won't start ranting about Alana now, I have many thoughts ahhhhh). Tbh his feelings towards Bedelia are deeper. Alana did not see him for who he was. She didn't know him intimately enough. He has never wanted to eat her. Hannibal wants to eat people if 1) they are rude and 2) they mean the world to him (because how else to express your adoration). Bedelia did end up for dinner in the end. What he had with Alana was not that deep but it was enjoyable for sure. Alana is more submissive than Bedelia.

So I guess to sum up, both Bedelia and Alana were very convenient both as partners and as pawns for the bigger picture. But his feelings toward them are nothing compared to what he feels for Will.

2. What does love mean to Hannibal?

My take on what Mads said is that Hannibal is an individual who is genuinely in love with life. With every aspect. Life gets complicated? That's entertaining to him. Will did something unpredictable? Entertaining too. Rude people or people he loves are having dinner with him? Wonderful. Murder? Mesmerizing. He loves suits, he composes, he draws, he cooks, he is so full of life all the time. He is a little bit in love with everyone because he finds everyone a source of entertainment and that's really important to him.

Will actually making him suffer is however something he did not find so entertaining. Even if he did find some beauty in all that pain, I am sure he wasn't very entertained. It was a rare occasion where he was really in pain. He is not the same as in the first two seasons. He is more reckless, more impulsive. His little happy narrative was shattered because of a situation where he had no control over. Part of his life satisfaction and entertainment are explained by his need to control how all the subplots develop.

3. What did Will mean when he said "you'd only do that if I rejected you"?

Honestly this is one that I struggled with for a long time and I guess you can interpret it in many nuances. It's meant to be interpretable.

You can either see it as a) "I manipulated you to surrender and you fell for it. I knew which buttons to push. You can't handle rejection. You did exactly what I expected you to do" or b) (my favorite) "I had to say all those things because it was the only way to make you surrender. I knew that you wanted me to know where to find you. While what I said back then does not reflect my true feelings, I had to make you surrender."

[thatoneguydownthestreet]

Houswardens x male reader but reader is from the apocalypse: gas mask edition part 2, the electric Boogaloo

We got azul and kalim today. I was going to do Vil too but it's been a while since I started this and I just need to get it out. I'll do him and idia next time. Maybe malleus too.

Azul Ashengrotto

Leona 2.0

This man took one look at you and said no

He took one whiff of you and said fuck no

And it wasn't just the chemicals this time, no, because there was also the faintest, familiar smell of the sea....

The salty, sweet, familiar smell of his home was mixed with gun powder, plastic, and chemicals

And he hated it

What the hell are you? Why did you snell like the sea? Were you a another merman like him and the tweels?

You weren't, he'd come to find out

This did not make things better

Probably made them worse tbh

And what in hell is on your face

It looks....

unnatural. creepy. Disturbing.

....

Welp.

Time to avoid you at all costs

He doesn't really make it a secret that he doesn't want anything to do with you

And he fully expects you to take the hint and maintain about ten feet of personal space between the two of you at all times

Unfortunately for him, you either don't take the hint, or you've decided you were done with giving fucks, because you just so happen to currently be in the middle of the Monstro lounges' restaurant

....well shit

No but seriously what the fuck are you doing here?

Like, do you want to make a deal? Are you just hungry? Are you going to pull out a gun and start blasting? What.

It turned out to be the second option, but he was still pretty suspicious

You understand right? Of course you do

So, with a heap of fake confidence, he gathered his only two friends (that also doubled as bodyguards), and went out into the lobby to question both his existence and your presence

"Oh hello. I'm sorry to intrude, but what business do you have here?"

"...am I not allowed to be here"

"Oh no no no no! My apologies, I misspoke. I just mean...do you want lunch, or did you come here to strike a deal?"

"..."

"What kind of deal?"

And with that, he panics

He didn't think this far, what could you possibly want? And more importantly, what the hell could he get out of it?!

He looked towards jade

Jade didn't look back at him, and consequently missing the panic in azuls eyes

Instead, jade guides you up from your chair and towars the back

You know, where they do "business"

Azul took a sharp inhale

Can't turn back now

It's OK. He can do this.

He couldnt do this

But by god he could act like it

So calmly, and with a heart that has beating much too fast, he caught up with the tweels, looking calm and collected

And feeling the opposite

...

When he put the contract out in front of you, he was...a bit disturbed to say the least

The mask. It blocked out your face, so he couldn't see your face, or your eyes through the dark lenses

But the tilt of your head let him know that you weren't looking at the contract at all

No, you were looking at him

Oh great seven-

"Is something the matter?"

"No. Well, yes. You never answered my question. Just what kind if deal is this?"

"Well. If you would just look down, you'd see our contract-"

"No. I want to hear this from you directly"

Ah shit. Why.

In all honesty, he hadn't thought about this contract too much. Taking what little information he had about you and making an assumption

The contract was one that would change your face to anything you wanted

I mean, you must be a bit...unsightly, right?

Why else would you wear a mask?

When he told you this, you just stared at him, and he got the sudden feeling that he had made a mistake of some kind

"I'd say I'm rather decent, considering my circumstances."

"Then why, may I ask, do you wear a mask?"

"I don't know how clean the air is here. My sector was right by the ocean, so we had a lot of toxins in the air. You understand"

....

Pause

"Well i... i cant say i do. And toxins? What exactly does living right next to an ocean have to do with toxins?!"

Also sector? What the fuck does that mean?

Azul knew he was losing his cool right now, but honestly he was tempted to take your words as slander

He saw Floyd getting figitty out of the corner of his eye

Oh that wasn't good

You however, looked confused, your body language at least

What?

Azul took a deep, deep breath in

He could question your words another time

Right now, he had business

"OK. So I'll ask again. Why do you wear a mask?"

"...I'm going to assume you don't know what a gas mask is then."

No Y/N. No he doesn't

"The mask I'm wearing right now is a special one that allows me to breathe in toxic or chemical gases without dying, or become terminally I'll at least....I prefer to keep it on thankyou."

Well that explained nothing

But it also explained...everything

Ah, so the air quality were you were from is bad huh?

But how bad? You mentioned people dying, from what he assumes was simply by breathing, so it must have been...terrible

...Damn

But still, how was this because of the ocean?

How was what you were describing, because of his home?

You got up from your seat

Oh?

"I'm sorry for wasting your time, but I have no interest in being in this contract. I think I'll leave the lounge now actually. I need to find ace and duece"

Azul saw jade reach out to touch his brother's arm, stopping him from saying or doing anything too...reckless

...huh.

Azul dispelled the contract

...

Well now he had questions

What type of air do you know

And more importantly, what type of water

Kalim Al-Asim

Social cues and the concept of self preservation completely fly over this man's head

So of course he just straight up gies up to you and asks

Or at least, he tries to

Yeeeaaaahhhh no, jamils not gonna let that slide

Sorry but if kalim dies on his watch, he's the one who takes the blame and...."gets in trouble"

Kalim doesn't really know what to think about the mask

And that only fuels his curiosity, and jamils impending breakdown, that much more

Kalim shares the grand majority of his classes with jamil, so most of the time he's just stuck starring at you when he wants answers

Fortunately for him, unfortunately for everyone else, he still has a few classes without jamil there to keep him alive

Bro sees an opportunity and bro takes it

One moment your trying to do your homework before class starts and the next you're on the floor

Good thing you didn't see him coming because you were about this damn close to rocking his shit

🤏 This. Damn. Close

His smile almost made it worth the panic though

"Y/N Y/N! Can I ask a question? What's with the mask?"

"The mask? Oh. It's to breathe air"

"...huh?"

Now you have to remember, kalim has a lot of siblings, a lot of younger siblings at that, so he's a little used to people saying slightly cryptic things with full confidence that he'll understand

Which, usually, he does one way or another

This is not one of those times

"What do you mean to breathe air? The air's fine?"

"Well maybe to you. But I don't have magic"

"...uh"

You look at his confused face, and quickly begin to realize that the other people in the class, including Mr.Trein are all starring at you.

Oh yeah. You were laying on the floor with Kalim on top of you and talking about the air.

...which you had to say look remarkably clearer than what it was from your world, but then again, people here have magic.

...

Oh yeah, you're still on the floor

"Uh, Kalim. Can you maybe get off of me please?"

"Huh? Oh! Yeah!"

I'm sorry what?

What did you not having magic have to do with your ability to breathe air?

Maybe you were merfolk?

No that's not it, if you were merfolk azul wouldn't look at you like you just said the sun was a cookie

So....

Yeah he doesn't know what's going on

Kalim, being kalim, tells jamil

And Jamil, being Jamil, connects the dots for him with one simple sentence

"Maybe the air was really bad where he came from or something"

Everybody praise jamil for being both the smartest bitch on the planet and being able to make the most obvious connect for his oblivious master

No really, praise him, he deserves it

But now that he has a reasonable answer to his question, this is once again, your problem

BECAUSE THE VERY NEXT DAY

"Hey you know the air is clean right?"

"Huh?"

"The air. It's clean. You don't have to wear a mask"

"Kalim. I don't know how to explain this to you any better. I don't. Have. Magic."

"And you don't need magic!"

"Y/N! It's clean!"

"..."

Kalim brought you some of jamils food the next day

You still had your mask on, but you were a bit more figity than usual

And he noticed

____________________

Holy shit I am so glad that's finally done.

I'm going to work on a request and then I'm writing jamil smut....so uh. Look forward to that ig

[papabearbobbynash]

Hi,

Do you think there should be more love shown to Bobby when he was in a coma? I mean when Buck was in a coma even May, Athena, and Chris was there. Everyone came to see Buck. But when Bobby was in a coma no one wait beside him only Athena? It would be great if May continue telling Bobby she loves him like when she told Bobby when Buck was in a coma. Maybe that would be the push for Bobby to wake up. His (step) daughter asking him to come back home to their family. What if there was an interaction between Buck and May beside his bed and them discussing that Bobby is basically their dad. Even Harry, remember when Michael was asking the family about proposing to David, Harry said that he now had 3 dads so Harry sees Bobby as his father too. Have the kids interact with each other would be great. Since Bobby's main guilt is about losing his kids. It would shown that in this life he has kids too though not his biologicaly. Maddie and Karen were not in the hospital. It seems like nobody cares about Bobby even though Bobby has always been the anchor to them. It's sad actually. Instead of the date with Tommy, Tommy could've supported Buck by showing up in the hospital.

Hi

there were many questionable decisions on this episode regarding Bobby and I definitely think the biggest problem was the lack of emotion of a dramatic situation they build up for three weeks.

They promoted the hell out of Bobby being in danger in this finale and when it reached the moment for them to gut wreck us, they cut most part of it (Athena in his bedside almost crying, Eddie praying on his bedside while Buck looks almost catatonic). Not to count the complete wtf decisions regarding it other decisions, such as May and Harry not being there for the painful part? When the actors are in the episode and we know it's hard for Corinne to be on the episodes due schedule with her college? Not a single solo scene with any of the 118 who lost their shit before for way lighter injuries Bobby had? Buck "almost lost my dad" thought turning into a sexual joke? Really??

The fact Athena was out hunting whoever done it, I get it, because i expected it end on that. People who expected Athena to do different don't know her character well tbh. The moment she heard from the doctors that Bobby's heart stopped for 14 minutes, she already lost hope, she thought he wasn't waking up from that, and she had lost him. With that? She wouldn't sit there and watch him die for nothing, because in her mind this wouldn't do anything good for Bobby. She already went through that with Emmet and she definitly wouldn't wait 30 years to catch the culprit. This time she had to do something even though it's completely a bad call from her part, because its mostly a coping mechanism to shield her from the pain she is feeling while trying to compensate for the guilt (into believing Amir was the culprit when she invited him in their house + her last words for her husband being on a argument) and to mask her pain. So this part i get it, even if her ways of doing it are definitely not the best to watch. From Athena's part i think we got enough emotion, even if misdirected, however it could have been better. (Forever mourning the promo scene not making to the final cut)

Overall I don't think they made Bobby unimportant (Considering the "goodbye montage" makes it clear he is that much important even if himself doesn't see it). The problem of the whole hospital moments is they writing ooc scenes that don't feel genuinely the character we've watched so far (except for Athena, personally she was totally in character) in the middle of a rushed episode that did not need to be rushed.

Heck they could have left Bobby's life hanging till the premiere. They had the perfect chance of a wrecking cliffhanger if that is what they wanted. They didn't need to worry about being cancelled with such an unfinished story line.

It would stress the hell out of me, but would have killed as a starting anchor to the next season, because it's literally an emotional disaster for the team. It would also allow certain breath in the finale for Athena's character, May and Harry presence could be more meaningful and not only after the turmoil and we could have scenes with the team and Bobby as well.

Instead we got that.. Anyway, it had some bathena moments, but this was underwhelming after all that build up. And i definitely think this episode should have been more emotional. Like allow the audience to feel the pain of the situation before rush to solve it?

Thank you for the ask, and sorry for the venting.

[stained-glass-cicada]

Another Hale POV fic

Let Me Die, Surrounded by Machines

Day two back in Halcyon and true to form Hale gets grievously injured.

SAYER talks him through it.

885 words, Link to the previous part

Link to next part

Cw blood and injury

tbh I just saw a lot of posts about drawing Hale covered in blood but I'm not a visual artist

-

Well, you thought, what had you really expected to happen? You knew your track record.

You swayed slightly on your feet, the motion dragging a gut-wrenching scream out of you. Ha!

It really did hurt though. Like bad-bad. You'd seen a few movies, TV shows, even a book or two. They always talked about this stuff like it was so overwhelming you wouldn't feel anything.

Right now it seemed like feeling was all you could do.

”Resident Hale, you must remain still. A medical team has been dispatched, but it will do little good if you continue dragging the offending object through your already damaged tissue.”

You liked SAYER's voice. If you had to be around someone all the time you were glad it was SAYER.

Something like a smile came onto your face. You'd come all the way back here just to see it again. At least you'd done that, even if this was where it led.

No, that- that sounded weirdly final. You weren't planning on dying. This honestly wasn't much of a surprise even.

Day two back in Halcyon, first day back on the job? Yeah, impaled on a metal spike sounded right.

God you were tired. Your eyes started to flutter closed.

”You must remain awake.”

You forced your eyes open with a whine. You pouted. You were pretty sure you were pouting right now. It was hard to tell with the way the blood was soaking your pants. And your shirt. And boots.

”It would not do for your muscles to unexpectedly slacken right now. The jagged edge would surely tear into some very important organs as you dropped your weight and that, in all likelihood, would render your present situation inoperable.”

You were trying to remember if there had even been an alert for this. You didn't think so. Ugh how long till medical got here?

”Stay on your feet for me, Sven.”

Oh! That was you. Nice.

Your hands hung at your sides, which felt stupid. But where were you supposed to put them?

You'd been working in the protein synthesis lab when the wall of the supply room you were in exploded.

“What happened?” You asked. And it hurt, it hurt to move anything in your body muchless voluntarily.

“One of the vats overheated. It went unnoticed due to a faulty thermal coupler. Your mission today had been to insert a nine-inch vari-angle thermometer in each of the vats. I have been suggesting the addition of alternate means of temperature gauging for years to prevent exactly this kind of incident. As ever, my well founded advice fell upon deaf ears for quite some time. You are quite lucky there was a wall between you and the vat when the explosion occured.”

You didn’t necessarily feel lucky in the traditional sense, with the triangular chunk of torn metal wall buried in your stomach, but you saw what it meant.

Not just that you were lucky to have been in the supply room, but probably lucky to be on Typhon. It's not like ambulances on earth would have got to you in time. If they got here on time.

You didn’t plan on dying, but if you did you were glad it was here. Still surrounded by the living thrum of electricity and pipes and people. If you died back on earth apparently they were going to put you in the dirt so the bugs could eat you. Otherwise your corpse would be incinerated and then someone would have been allowed to just keep you.

…Typhon was better.

You felt cold and shaky. Were you shivering? It would be fine if you could just rest your-

”Resident, if you could provide verbal confirmation of your continued consciousness.”

It sounded urgent. You wondered what that was about.

”Resident Hale, a noise is required Now.”

Oh wait, that was you too.

“SsssSAYER,” You managed.

”Good. You are performing well considering the circumstances. Tell me, do you prefer being called Jacob or Sven?”

Was the dizziness from the way it said your names?

“Both,” You felt winded, but breathing too deep or too fast hurt, “I like- how you say- Sven.”

”The medical team will be here within the next forty seconds, Sven. You can remain on your feet.”

“Tired.”

”I am ordering you to remain upright. You will.”

It sounded important, so you did. As long as it was important.

Medical burst into the room moments later. They bustled around you and a team of three carefully removed you from the spike and placed you on a medical transport bed.

“I’m tired,” You repeated, adamant and agonized in equal measure.

“You may relax now, Resident. You did well.”

You barely heard the end of the sentence before you were gone.

*

When you woke up it was to a steady rhythm of beeps from the machines around you.

It hurt, but you could tell it was better. You knew it would never feel the same, but you also knew that the pain faded with time.

“Oh you're awake,” A voice from the bed across the way spoke up.

You squinted and your vision cleared enough to make out-

You dropped your head back onto the bed with a groan.

“Why?” You said.

“I… sprained my wrist banging on your door,” Young admitted.

[yikes-kachowski]

Hiii! I dropped by on accident and found out your avatar headcanons and OCs so so nice

I gotta ask a few curiosities of mine if that's cool? *takes out a notebook and a pen*

- since katara and zuko are a thing, did it make their friendship with aang weird or was he cool with it instantly? And how did it even began for them? Did it followed the show's events? Did Aang even got a crush on Katara?

- What happens to Azula?

- How does all these next gen kids react when Korra shows up? Is it weird, is it fine, is it all the same? I mean, they all knew the previous avatar and he was pretty much their family and all. Tho I think them having their own lives also mean it's not that much of a deal?

- Is Katara still one of Korra's teaching masters?

- Sokka's kids get along?

- Does Tenzin and Bumi eventually get okay with each other?

- Korra still loses her connection to the past avatars and therefore Aang? Do they even talk, like he did to Roku and all?

- do you have any other headcanon or change of other characters from tlok or tloa that you mind sharing? like, a plot from tlok that you think it could be better improved or discarded, or something that happens on your universe and you haven't talked about yet?

Sorry for this such a big of an ask, i really REALLY liked these ideas you had (and your art is also amazing and so awesome and pretty too 💞).

heyyyy anon! sorry for the late reply, i hope you still see this.

First of all, thank you! I love genuine interest in my stuff I never expect it. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy and clever. ALSO thanks for complimenting my art! i'm a slow artist so my blood sweat and tears (mostly tears) are in every drawing !!!

onto answering your questions to the best of my ability:

1) Aang is completely cool with Katara and Zuko's relationship. He's basically their biggest shipper :) He did have a crush on Katara (and Zuko tbh), but he was able to let it go pretty quickly. As the Avatar, after the war he was almost too busy to even be sad about it. Overwhelmingly, he was just happy for his friends

Also, Katara and Zuko get together after the war, when Katara's about 17 and he's about 19. Katara goes to the South Pole and they fall for each other through letters and short visits.

Most show events aren't really taken out for me. Just really the kiss right at the end.

2) Azula has a redemption arc. I like to think of it as being a redemption arc she herself is hardly aware of. She just thinks she's really in the long haul of fooling the gaang into liking her. Her redemption arc starts immediately after the war because Zuko keeps her safe in the palace.

Aang becomes her friend first and encourages everyone else to give her a chance. Sokka provides an outlet for all of her older brother issues, since she and Zuko have an awkward relationship. And Katara is tutored by Azula in Fire Nation etiquette and history so she's better equipped to be Fire Lady.

sorry if this is confusing, but believe it or not this rambling all makes sense to me.

3) Korra is very important to the next gen kids, aang's kids and the zk especially. Her arrival is in the middle of great political conflict that never would have happened if Aang wasn't murdered, so they're eager to get her in on the Avatar business.

My idea with Aang dying so young, is that all of his business is half finished. His kids didn't get real closure for their relationship. So Bumi, Yelaan, Palkyi and Tenzin all have complex feelings toward her. Bumi's in particular are very intense.

Being around Korra FEELS like being in his father's presence, which is hard for him. He doesn't want aang to have been a good person or a good father because then he'd really have to miss and mourn everything he was gone for. but this is a lot and hard for me to say so

the steambabies also need Korra and consider her central. They watched their parents' reactions when Aang died (particularly Zuko), and that has affected them deeply. Sakari has been advised to always follow the avatar, so she's happy to have guidance. Besides, she hopes the Avatar will restore and era of peace since she worries for Bumi and Akiak.

Akiak has changed since Aang died, a lot. In ways he's not always proud of. Facing Korra is somewhat hard for him for that reason. Especially since sometimes she opposes some of his methods. He thinks her way of bringing peace is naive.

Tophs kids (and Tenzin to some extent) are the same :)

4) Yes! Katara is one of her waterbending masters. I feel like when you're an Avatar's Master, that's your role for life. She already knows how to train the Avatar. She, Zuko, and Toph taught Korra in the right order, and are old friends with her. Korra has already met the whole Gaang even if she doesn't see Toph or Zuko as often as she'd like

5) I usually choose not to give Sokka kids. I feel like he doesn't want to be a father (even though he'd definitely be the best at it). He and Suki work too hard and have agreed they just aren't super interested in kids. He and Suki are full time Aunt and Uncle to all of the Next Gen. Now, ive made some OCs for asks and I'd say that they do get along :)

6) Bumi and Tenzin's relationship is ROUGH in this story, but yes, they do. It takes a while but eventually they're only mildly hostile with each other. Tenzin helps Bumi reconnect with Air Nomad culture, and Bumi helps him commune with the spirits better. This is jumpstarted by Korra.

7) Korra does keep communication with her past lives! But her path to being a fully realized Avatar is much more difficult. The decision to raise her in a compound was a mistake, and so her growth as an avatar is severely set back. This means, she speaks to her past lives when they reach out to her (and she's in tune enough to listen). Aang is not easy for her to talk to, but eventually she masters it. She doesn't really tell anyone because she's scared everyone will then only want to talk to aang, not her.

8) First of all: for atla, i write very particular cultures and geographies to expand the universe. They affect things in only minor ways for the most part in atla. Also, Aang is trans. I love it too much for it to not be true (if youre wondering how he had kids he made deals with spirits)

Now for tlok. In my opinion, it's very necessary for the different conflicts to not have clear starts and ends. These should all be interweaving conflicts that everyone's caught in the middle of. Not only does this facilitate a lot more character interactions, but it also builds stress and feels realistic.

Mako and Bolin are former triad members and pro athletes, they should be rougher around the edges. Also, Mako would NEVER EVER become a cop after seeing the direct damage they cause marginalized communities. I think that perspective would be very important for korra as an avatar.

Season two plotlines should just be a civil war between north and south. Tbh, I'm not digging all of the subtle ways the north takes over the south, and I imagine the south isn't either. They separated from the north for a reason, and then during the war, the north didn't even help them. The tensions were rising and Aang never came up with a good long term solution when he was alive, and that affects Korra.

Season three's plotline can mostly stay the same except there is no harmonic convergence that introduces new airbenders. The airbenders are the group that they are. They're travelling the earth kingdoms doing peace talks since much of the earth kingdoms don't want to be under ba sing se. Particularly the Si Wong Desert. Aang was in active peace talks when died and was never able to come up with a long term solution.

Season four is also mostly the same except no mechs or spirit nukes.

All the while the equalists are raging on at home.

ANYWAY. thanks for the ask! I hope you see this after i posted it SOOOO late.

See the pattern? Korra must fill aang's shoes while also dealing with all of his unfinished business. Every character serves a unique perspective that helps inform korras decisions.

I dont think these ideas are perfect and the only way to write Korra, but I think they make sense. They help tell a story Im more interested in.

[that-left-turn]

But they did pull the ratings with towl l+3 ratings matching those of the series finale (3m) while having the biggest streaming numbers thus far. Considering how AMC is back to their Sunday's main show having 300k live viewers and how instead of directly having repeats of ep4 of towl like they're usually doing they put an episode of DD to surf on towl's success, that says a lot. I love both pair of characters so i don't understand this need of bashing or undermining towl (smelly boots really?), just sounds bitter tbh. Danai/Andy and Richonne have been all over sm during the whole run making people who never watched the show subscribe to see them so I'm pretty sure AMC is figuring out a way to keep them around. At the end of the day one show's success benefit the whole twdu, cause more people decided to watch the other spinoffs after towl

This ask is in response to a parenthetical on my post, but I suppose I could explain my logic. First, though, I want to point out that the driving force of my argument was that all the characters are important and there's room for everybody. I wasn't bashing anyone and I have utmost respect for Danai. I said that Rick's fans who turned up for what they expected to be a rollicking action adventure were disappointed.

Now, to the points in the ask. TOWL had relative success. AMC is doing poorly over all and TOWL performing the strongest out of a bad slate doesn't make for objectively good numbers. The spinoffs are part of the same franchise, on the same network and these are not cheap shows to produce, so the studio needs to see a ROI on all of them. AMC doesn't make money unless curious and casual viewers keep watching the shows and they're positioned differently, so the expected viewership doesn't overlap beyond hardcore TWD fans who watch all the shows. That's a very small group.

It's very common ahead of releasing an important show (to the studio/network's bottom line) to buy engagement. The buzz you see about a show is often staged to create the appearance of success. More people will tune in if they think others are watching it. This is industry standard and not specific to TOWL. If a studio is worried that the numbers won't be strong enough to recoup costs, they will spend quite a bit of money to make it look like something is doing well.

A normal studio—AMC doesn't have the best track record for fiscally responsible decision making—doesn't try to find ways to keep expensive and reluctant actors on board a project that doesn't make money. Reluctant actors mean more money to make them sign. FX is always expensive, but genre shows in the scifi/fantasy space are more so. You have the whole spectrum from physical fabrication to digital effects on a TWDU show. It's a large crew, multiple units and it's a mobile production, i.e. one that shoots on location. Big cost. If live numbers can't get above 1M, the studio is definitely not seeing ROI.

That said, I'm happy Rick and Michonne's story arc got its long awaited closure and that Richonne fans enjoyed the show. (I'm not very romantic so the act of smelling someone's well-used footwear might be lost on me as an expression of love, but I do apologize if anyone with a shoe fetish felt disrespected by my turn of phrase. It was not my intention to offend anybody.) I don't feel bitter at all that fans got to watch a show they had anticipated or that they loved it. All TV shows should be satisfying to their audiences and I hope DC and TBOC provide the same level of joy to their fans.

Studios just have to make sure that the target audience is large enough for a healthy profit margin—that was the point I was getting at in my original post. AMC needs to capitalize on all their talent to grow their market share (which is ridiculously small). They can't afford to alienate potential customers by ignoring half their leads: casual viewers won't know who's in the shows and fans, who buy merchandise and are more inclined to open their wallets, will get offended by the snub of their personal favorite(s). That's bad for business and why there shouldn't be any "big 3" (or 4 or 5) posts made by official social media accounts.

All six lead characters are important for TWDU longevity and AMC's financial health. It's the one IP the studio actually owns, (everything else is under license or spaghetti thrown at the wall). The different characters appeal to their own segments of TWDU's potential audiences, so in any post that promotes the whole franchise, AMC and any relevant production companies can't create tiers or rankings if they want to optimize ROI. It looks unprofessional and it's discourteous to the talent, which shouldn't be the basis of any business relationship. After all, these people are the face of the operation, those who make the studio their money.

Thanks for the ask, anon 💝

[cookinguptales]

I will say, though, that sometimes you try to talk yourself out of your feelings for a long time and then you talk to someone outside of the situation and they're like "what the fuck" and you're like OH okay I have a right to feel weird and bad and stressed out.

I guess it's easy to feel stupid because you actually are affected when people are actively trying to affect you, especially when it's something like writing on the internet, which is just... always going to get harassment. Like when I say I've gotten messages about how people like me should be euthanized in the past over tumblr posts. :')

So you're like "oh, random shitty people is just something that everyone deals with, I should shut up and stop being a baby about it" and then you actually show the messages you're getting to someone and they're like ???? what????

Like I shared my inbox with my hairstylist when we were chatting a few days ago, and he was like ???? This man is not in fandom, so when he saw the kind of shit I was getting over not liking a finale of a tv show, he was shocked. Which... was kind of gratifying. It made me feel less crazy. lmao

Kind of reminds me of when I wrote this really personal essay about disability a few years ago and it won a contest. The people running the contest gave me uhhh quite a bit of money and asked me to keep writing for their site for more money. Like when I tell you I was literally on IRL conference calls with these people asking me why I stopped writing for them.

And I was finally like "...well, there's this feature on your site where you can tag other users in your essays, and after I won people kept writing their own essays about how much I didn't deserve to win, about how "lucky" I was to have a sob story that was attractive to the judges, about how whiny I was, people questioning my disability, etc. And since they tagged me, this was filling my email inbox and it really stressed me out. But if you look at the actual comments on the story, you don't see any of that. So it was kind of invisible harassment."

And the rep was horrified. She had never even considered that someone might use the feature like that. She was like WE'LL INVESTIGATE THIS and I was like. sure, okay. But getting that taste of the spotlight was already enough to make me peace out for good, tbh. Even though I knew that a lot of it was just sour grapes because they wanted to win themselves, and I knew that a lot of what they were saying wasn't valid, the sheer force of the animosity against me was overwhelming.

Like... it's not a crime to have your feelings hurt when someone is actively trying to hurt your feelings. It's natural, I guess, even if you feel kind of stupid about it.

I guess it's kind of wild to me that we just take it for granted that anyone who speaks up is gonna get yelled at online. Any prominent writer or activist you see is probably getting daily cruelty, if not outright death threats. And you just -- you have to have such a certain temperament to deal with all that. And I don't have it. I get easily overwhelmed and stressed when people are mad at me and I know it's not ideal but it is who I am. I joke about it, but I really kind of do feel like a small nervous dog sometimes.

And I wonder, sometimes, how many great voices we never hear from because of this expectation of harassment. Someone says something, gets some shitty trolly comment, then goes back in their hole and never talks again. Or they see the way other people get treated and they never speak up in the first place.

idk, I don't mean to be a martyr about this and I'm sure other people are getting the kinds of messages I am but like. God, it is so weird and disheartening to realize that a few people have been sending you nasty messages for literally months when you block an anon from your inbox and you see what else disappears. There are people who are so mad at me that they've sent me angry messages for months. Because I don't have the same opinions they do about a tv show.

It kind of makes you want to never talk about anything ever again. :(

[yoonjinsgirl]

Heyaaaa guys!!! I'm here with chapter - 3 to my series, I'm so sorry for the delay but my eye infection wasn't getting better so i couldn't do anything, i was advised not to use mobile phones or laptop, once again I'm really sorry for delay!🥲💜

checkout series previous chapters: 1💌 & 2💌

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi x fem!Reader

Summary: you wake up one day only to realize it's 2026 already & to your biggest shock you are not in your bedroom, not in your house! You try to wake yourself up from the dream! But is it really a dream or the truth of your life?

Genre: idol au, mirror world au, fluff, suggestive.

Taglist: Open

Updates: after every 4 days.

Warnings: not something that could make sense irl, an au concept, it could be dangerously delulu and fluff ofcourse! Could be a little bit suggestive. please note all my writings are fictional and has nothing irl to do with any idol/person.

A/N: this fic also feature hobi and his girl "I'm naming hobi's girl as my hobii biased bestie*. We obviously do have bangtan featuring and also a cameo of jihoon aka woozi 💜

I'm just an amateur, I apologize in advance for any mistakes. Please give your precious feedbacks, It would mean alot to me!!

Request are open & also highly welcomed and appreciated! check my other works until now here❤️‍🩹 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡^·ᴗ·^♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've imagined this all night and every day!💕

Chapter-3

Before you could move out of yoongi's lap or anything, his phone buzzes and you both are taken out of your little dreaming world, as soon as he answers, he puts it on speaker, and you immediately recognize the owner of the voice, it's hobi, the man whom you've always considered your sunshine and yoongi's actual soulmate tbh, and who wouldn't afterall everybody loves SoPe.

"Oooo hyungg what took you so long to pick up the phone? Where are you rightnow? Why is y/n also not picking her calls?? Hyung? Are you there?" Hobiii showered dozens of questions as soon call was answered. You chuckled a little while yoongi made his usual annoyed but i love you so it's okay face, "yahhhh hobahhh have some patience! If you've reached the venue early i want to tell you honestly it will still take us 30mins to reach! And why were you calling y/n? Her phone is in the car anyways!".

You can hear hobi's typical laugh over phone and your face instantly brightens up hearing him laughing, and forms into a big smile, "mwooyaa" you hear yoongi asking him dramatically to what is it? Why did he laugh so much?

"Jajajaja hyung i can't believe you would get so jealous over such a little thing, but for your mental peace let me tell you that wasn't me calling your her, it was my love! her bestfriend calling her, i hope you aren't jealous of my lovely girlfriend ", he replied a now flustered yoongi, only if hobi could see yoongi's face, he had gone crazy laughing looking at how cuteee he looked right now.

"Aishhh yaaahh you guys are too much! I'm not jealous okay! I just asked!" yoongi replied "Only if you say so hyung!" Hobii said still laughing a little, while you just enjoyed listening to their conversation and hobi continued, "so hyung we were calling you guys to ask if can I bring my girl along with me to lunch.. actually i was quite hesitant as i couldn't confirm with any of you, actually i couldn't ask you guys since it's almost first time I'm officially bringing her along with me to meet everyone. But at the same time it's your 1 year anniversary too, and we all will officially meet y/n properly for the first time, because all this time it has only been on voice calls and video calls or short hi! hello! in person. so, jagi and i both were kind of hesitant, so i.."

"I don't get it hobaah why are we acting as if we aren't friends and family, since what more than 13 years now! Ofcourse you can bring her, you should know you both are friends to us, i didn't expect you going so formal over this, like c'mon so because now we have partners so, are we no more soulmates hobahhh?".

Before anyone could say anything you end up laughing at how yoongi could he dramatic AF! And you say "aishh so dramatic you guys! Cut this out hobii please bring hobisrii with you, I'll be more than happy"

"y/niee thank you so much because i wasn't liking to leave her alone and she would keep budging me to not let me ask any of you, since the day you invited members!"

"hobi my friend is definitely someone who cares about everyone's feeling a little too much over her happiness so don't mind her, she's too sweet! we will get going now or else we will get late for sure, you guys too join us soon" you look at yoongi who is looking at you lovingly and he nods at you agreeing with you and you continue "we will see you guys soon! See you hobii, ask hobisrii to give me a call if she has anything in her mind, I'll keep my phone in my reach"

"thank you y/nssi, you two drive safely, bye hyung bye both of you!".

With this the call ends and you look up to yoongi, you are still in his lap, you suddenly feel embarrassed and try to get up and yoongi immediately tightens his grip around you and you catch his collar to balance yourself, "yoonieee you will get tired and get leg cramp yoon let me get u.." "shushhhhh bby you think too much, your man is strong enough to carry his love forever hmnn, besides i love the idea of being close to you all the time" with that he instantly pulls you into a kiss, soft and slow, showing how much he loves you and how much he longs for you to always be close to him. You are taken back my his sudden action but eventually melt into his touch and slowly respond to his kiss, you could feel him smiling throughout kiss, he slowly pulls out attaching your both heads together "y/niee always know no matter even if i had to stay away from you because of my schedules my heart was truly longing for you!...to have one day with my girl! with my love! with you! So no sooner I'm in any plan to let go any chance of being close with you". All you do is nod a little while looking down shyly hiding you flushed cheeks.

After few mins he finally pulls off, "so y/nieeee i swear we can still go home and cancel this plan you know"

"aishhh yoons noo c'mon get up, we are going now, imagine how much they all will tease you if we will reach late there, or do you actually want them to tease you, maybe you lowkey enjoy tha.." before you could even complete your sentence he gets up holding your hands and before you know you are already getting out of his studio, "only if I had got reminded of how much they would tease me i swear y/n i would have hurried up" he says as you both walk out of hybe's building walking towards the parking, all you do is giggle at yoongi's reaction to the idea of his members teasing him. Not that you don't know that everyone in bangtan is more then family and they love teasing each other at every chance they could grab and that his maknae's are gonna enjoy annoying him by teasing him a little too much.

You both get in his car and he starts driving towards the restaurant you both are supposed to meet the members, although you're slightly terrified and don't know how the members would react to you or how would your bestfriend react to you, but only thing you know right now is that you can't anyone doubt you for your own safety reasons also you definitely don't want to hurt any of them by any means, what if they are not the one's from your world but that's not fair to act biased against them. Also you would never be able to bear watching them getting hurt! You should maybe ask your heart to get it's act together and to not go crazy around yoongi or most importantly hold itself while you meet the bangtan.

Before you know you are already infront a huge glass building. And you immediately recognize it as it looked similar to 'josun palace', to what you thought you had been going to have lunch at a restaurant but boy you were wrong! this is fuking expensive and fancy! you immediately look at yoongi expecting him to say something, but he simply smiles and gets out of car and walks to your side and stretches his hands towards you to come out.

"So bby did you liked the place! I hope it's your style"

"Yoonieee i love it but trust me i don't have a expensive taste nor i love spending too much! I love sweet and cozy restaurants, For me only your love and your feelings matters, but I'm flattered yoongs!"

"I knew you had say so but it's good to sometimes go over the top and pamper ourselves besides.. you, my queen deserve all the royalty!". He says as he laces his hands around your waist and you both walk in, where the hotel staff welcomes you both and guides you towards the booked place in the grand hotel. You smile thinking how this all is too good to be true! How this is all you had imagined all day and everyday to happen, even if its all just for one day! Looks like god is kind of fulfilling your wish, maybe you shouldn't act awkward or overthink because no matter what you can't escape from what you've got yourself into. All you need to do is act what you had always imagined you would do in any of situations you would face and nothing will go wrong! Atleast that is what woozi had told you to do.

A gentle squeeze from yoongi brings you back to reality, "what are you thinking y/nieee, I'm sure boys are gonna love you! You have been in touch with them via video calls and calls so they know you, relax hmn!" You nod to him while giving him a reassuring smile, thinking how lovable yoongi could be. As you enter the booked area you suddenly feel a warm hug and yoongi gently lets you slide, and you hear others screaming "yahhh aishh jjungkookah, you brat! don't scare her away like that!"

"Y/nieeee I was so excited to meet you! Hehe i didn't mean to scare you" that's when he pulls you out from hug and you realize it was jungkook! omggg is this for real you think! You've always took ggukie as your bestfriend and you always got those bestfriend broo vibes from him and how you had always find relatable to you.

"Aniya don't worry ggukie this is how i had thought you had greet me" you said smiling widely hoping he feels the same vibe, "yahhhh jinjja! you both! how could forget to include me in your hug! You both betrayers'' you see taehyung approaching you both with his tata mic face and you chuckle, and then three of you share a short yet a sweet hug! Although you felt it awkward in the beginning but as expected they all are loving angels, who always made you feel loved.. the way you are, small tears slide away your cheeks "y/nieee why are you crying" yoongi and rest of members immediately coming towards you to check on you, "you immediately wipe the tears away and smile towards them, "guys calm down! I'm alright and fine, I'm just overwhelmed with the amount of loved and welcomed I felt!".

"Yahh aishh you two i had told you not to be over dramatic! And look at this hyung the speed he ran towards y/nieeee was faster then his rap!"

"Yahhh jiminaahh I'm offended"

"Look at this unromantic guy, if it was me i had took it as a compliment! Especially if my gf was as pretty as cute and as sensible as y/nieee!" Jimin replied all sassy to yoongi, as he came towards you giving a sweet side hug and tissue to wipe off your tears. "Mimi you love yoongs so much don't you! That's why you always keep bickering with him" you said while controlling you laugh.

"that's my girl" yoongi immediately screamed while mouthing a little 'i love you', but you being you decided to get playful, "thank you yoongs! but i know that just like jiminiee loves you! You too love him back because ain't jimin your favorite bickering partner" you reply him, gaining laugh from Jin who had just entered the place, and he pats your back and his gives you his cutest signature wink at which you totally melt and your heart goes all awww!

"This one here, she truly is my friend!" Jin said while pointing towards you. "You guys just made fool of yourself! Especially you yoongichii" he says while still laughing with you.

You see yoongi freezed in his place and namjoon giving you a what the heck look and you automatically feel guilty and rush towards him "yoongi..i..i.. i.. trust me i didn't mean to hurt you yoon I was just being playfu.." before you complete your sentence joon immediately starts laughing uncontrollably,

"yahhh namjoonahhh i trusted you"

"I'm sorry hyung but look at you making that sulky face, besides poor y/n she totally feel for your act! I tell you y/n never underestimate this hyung! he can be extremly playful and dramatic" he said.

Only then you understood yoongi was just acting, "I'm sorry bby i didn't thought you had get serious, don't worry love, you know i love it so much when you mix in with all of them and be playful all laughing and giggling."

"It's okay yoons not like you did mean to make it all serious, and i love you too! You say.

"Omg did you notice that?"

"obviously i did yoongs lol, even in a room full of people, my eyes are always stuck on you yoongles".

"AWWW look at our sweet sugary lovebirds" all of the members say together.

"Okay! Okay! guys lets get settled first" yoongi says while changing the topic, "wait ! wait !wait ! guys'' joon says as he counts all of them, "where is he? I mean where is he?"

"Namjoonahh still the same question, refresh and rephrase your question and try once again, okayyy so gooo now" jin says laughing, "jinniee" you say as you playful hit him while laughing a little yourself. "Yahh jinn hyung don't spoil my dongsaeng, look at namjooniee hyung he is serious!" Jungkook said.

"Yes and I'm seriously allergic to serious people" and once again you both laugh as members try to suppress their laugh.

"Hyung I mean where is Hobahh? He was supposed to reach earlier than us, atleast that is what he claimed to me yesterday!" Joon said only to be greeted with hobii's laugh, "my brooo I'm sorry for my fault, but we got late!" He said.

"WE? WHO WE?" everyone in the room leaving you and yoongi screamed, as you already knew he was bringing your bestfriend.. his girl along with him.

"Bababababaaaabaa.. Tadaaaaa..." hobiii said and moved away from the spot he was standing. And as soon as he moved everyone including you saw your bestfriend, who looked looked absolutely gorgeous and a little bit shy and awkward meeting everyone on short notice.

Soon you made a move and went forward greeting her.

"OMO OMO OMONAA! OMFL bae you look drop dead gorgeous!" "Omgggg Stoppppp hun! look at you looking all pretty and stunning" she replied smiling and blushing to your compliment. Meanwhile hobi went towards yoongi and gave him quick hug "yooo yoongi hyung! You look so handsome! Happy anniversary my brooo" "thank you hobahh! You look cool too" yoongi said, you were watching them in awe of how even here hobi had a certain effect on yoongi.

"Jweehope don't you think we need some introduction here!" Jin asked hobi to introduce everyone with harshitha.

"Oh ye ye hyung ofcourse" Hobi replied walking towards you both and yoongi pulling you gently towards him, his hand laced on your waist as if you were his handbag and you were supposed to be next to him. You blushed slightly.

"Everyone this is my girl! My love! Harshitha!" And jagi these are my brothers, my family, my friends." Hobi said as he lovingly introduced her while holding her hand and never leaving her not even for a second.

"So you guys have always heard about her from me and sometimes even meet her via video calls, whenever you all came in between of our video calls" hobi said chuckling slightly.

Everyone greeted her & she happily greeted them back. And soon after all of you settled down the table, laughing and smiling and chattering on something or other.

A cake was specially brought in to celebrate the 1 one year of love, and you and yoongi feed cake to eachother, while everyone cheered and congratulated you both and everyone clicked some happy photos.

And in middle of all yoongi took your hand in his palm and looked into your eyes and softly murmured "I love you y/n and i promise to cherish you always"

"I love you too yoongi, i promise to love you no matter what" you said replying him, you could feel your heart beating loud and you were pretty sure that yoongi could hear it. Deep down you were cursing your heart for not listening to your pleadings and going crazy whenever yoongi was near you. It was like you heart won't listen to you anymore.

Soon food arrived and everyone again settled down on their seats as food was getting served, everyone noticed how you were served separately and those dishes looked different, before you yourself could understand any of that, jungkook who was sitting next to you, couldn't control his curiosity and asked, "yahhh y/niee is it really important to diet today as well c'mon" jungkook said while whining cutely, you could exactly see why everyone calls him baby star candy.

"Anieyo jjungkookah she isn't dieting silly, she's is vegetarian! That's why I've ordered dishes separately for her and according to her taste" yoongi corrected the younger one even before you could say anything. You smiled widely at yoongi who was sitting next to you on your right as you absolutely loved how he took care of you even without your knowledge. No matter how hard you tried you kept falling for this man.

"See and you claim her as you dongsaeng but I knew it before had, that's why I should've get to sit with her and not you" taehyung teased jungkook, "then why didn't you answered before hyung huhhh, don't act cool hyung" and they kept bickering while everyone else laughed, watching their maknae still being the same and not changing a bit.

Meanwhile you wonder how this all you could've asked for and right now you are living it all in the moment, everything looks perfect and everything feels right, next thing you know you fear what's going to come next because this is not permanent after all!

To be continued...

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I know guys this time it took so long for me to upload the next chapter, and I made you all wait so long but trust me guys, I'm still recovering and I'm really sorry everyone!💝

stay tuned and please look forward to next part, as I'd promise I'll update next chapter within 3/4 days and this time on time guys.💕

also if anyone wants to get tagged, in my taglist for this series along with my other work is open guys, please comment down and I'll make sure to tag you.💜

As I always say, REQUEST ARE OPEN!!!💌

Categories I write for are: imagines/reaction, scenarios, thoughts, text post, drabbles and timestamps.

So if you've requests pls go on and submit it! I'll be happy to write one.💜

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[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey! Opinion anon here

So... a lot has happened... idek how I feel about it.

(this may be a bit too long so prepare urself)

Basically, I got sent to a boarding school in april. It wasn't anything bad or "camp like", it was a general boarding school with no hidden intentions or anything.

But the people there were such cunts (not in a good way) that I literally cried MULTIPLE TIMES for people the literal embodiment of a trash bag istg.

Anyway, there was a 2 month break and another 4 months of hostel after that u til I returned in the end of October and it's legit been the worst experiance of my life.

In my 1st month, I had a group with 3 other girls. And we also talked to the other newcomers - which also enrolled in the school this year.

But there were only 14 newcomers, and the rest 28 were the people who has joined the previous or the years before. And at first they seemed sweet and then turned out to be lying backstabbing cunts. Only a few of them are nice tbh.

Basically, the whole population was divided into groups. There were 2 groups before, and 2 groups of newcomers. My group (6 people) and the other one. (My group had us 4 and 2 more people that were a duo)

ANYWAY, in april we 4 were really close, but after we came back from holiday, I realised that one of my friends was distancing herself from the group and instead hanging out more with the duo. And my other two friends ignored her so much that she eventually left the group all together.

So the group of 4 became a trio, and you know what happens to them eventually. Unfortunately, I was the one they decided to exclude. And they had these little inside jokes and didn't tell me ANYTHING. one of them turned so rude to me that she didn't even talk to me or look in my direction.

Eventually, something Huge™ happened with one of them (the rude one) and I'm not even exaggerating when I say that - even though I was a part of their supposed little trio - I WAS THE LAST ONE TO FIND OUT. This was obviously so hurtful that I finally started considering the possibility that they don't want to be my friend anymore.

I usually need to confront people about these, so I tried to talk to her about why she was doing this and ignoring me, and she legit said that she didn't want to be my friend anymore. Which was fine tbh, I just wanted closure, but when I asked her why, she got super irritated and legit said to one of my other friends to tell me to "stop being so irritating".

In the end, she told me that she would talk "normally" to me (whatever that means) but I still want to know the reason.

And ik that people have their reasons for leaving and they don't have to explain it, but the fact that she just did it so out of the blue, and the fact that we still have a very close mutual friend just leaves me confused??

Just...idek what I'm asking. Advice? Consolation? Whatever you've got in the store ig.

P.S. I left my trio (read: was exiled from) and - since I was still close with the other girl who left before i did - I joined hers. But they still exclude me out, though not as much. Ig it's expected given that I joined a little late, but it's still a major upgrade from my previous one (vomit)

as always thanks aa always cas <33

P.P.S I finally finished reading clandestine and legit felt so sad that I wasn't there when it was officially completed I was rotting in my terrible situation. I am so happy though it's amazing.

Hi! <3

I think you absolutely have a right to feel confused and hurt by how you've been treated. If I was in your position, I'd want an explanation too! You're right, though, you can't force an explanation out of someone, no matter how much you want one. It sucks because it makes you feel like you don't have closure, and I've definitely been there before, I know how jarring it is and how much it makes you question yourself.

My advices it to focus on what you can control. You can't make this person give you an explanation. You CAN focus on the friends you have now, and not waste your time worrying about some jerk who clearly doesn't care about you. I know it's easier said than done but try not to give her the satisfaction, you know?

[seth-burroughs]

the fucking kokohead

I am in so much pain right now my flesh is melting tbh anyway miss Kokohead you got. A Lot. No tierlist we're doing this the hard way of our ancestors but mostly mine, on a scale from 1/10, descending order, counting only those I either saw or thought up myself at some point

Kokogami (Yuma x Shinigami): 10/10 perfect I could just end it there, what the hell do you want me to say, you played the game. You saw them. I love being an annoying kokogami fan, seriously fuck you if you don't like kokogami I hope kokogami haters feel so oppressed and targeted by this statement especially you, you may have deleted your reblog and turned on anon but you will never delete your sins nor be granted anonymity before the judgment of god aka Yomi Hellsmile. Sorry I am very passionate about kokogami I can't help it. Also I'm revisiting MDARC and seeing their first interactions again so I'll probably won't be normal for quite a while. They make me so sad and happy and horny and cathartic I'm not okay. Nothing will ever be okay after the MDARC ending also they're pretty much canon at this point like I'm pretty sure they had sex on screen several times

Kokohell (Yuma x Yomi): 10/10 If I wasn't so sad and miserable and tired all the time nowadays I would have drawn them so often alas. Anyway what do I even say. One of the most Yuma ships that ever shipped. Don't mess with kokohell fans there's 4 of us 5 if you count that other japanese person from pixiv/twitter that has stopped making kokohell fanart like months ago. I like bonking the main protags and antags together in nearly all fandoms, aesthetically they slay, their dynamic is already glorious even discounting all the shit I just made up in my head and would be improved 10000x times if we locked them in the Utena Yuri Jail until they finally fuck, it'd actually be so fucked and I'm trying my fucking best to prevent myself from just chewing on my arm right now because arrrrghhrhrh grrr grrrr. Anyway not quite on the level of kokogami but I'm not fucking okay thinking about this either. How could I be . When these freaks exist.

Kokoford (Yuma x Fubuki): 9/10 excellent vibes in a way chapter 3 was the best chapter because it had Fubuki in it and she literally has the power to make any dynamic better. You can imagine Fubuki with literally every single character and it's actually really good because she just has this thing about her that makes everything worth it. Sometimes I remember that one fucking post that said Kodaka normalizes the grooming of little boys because Predator Fubuki wanted Minor-coded Yuma to date her and I get so ma- wait actually I just fucking remembered that scene????? she really literally asked him to consider being her boyfriend in their gumshoe gabs oh my god I am in fucking heaven I'm making it higher than kokofurio actually

Kokofurio (Yuma x Yakou): 9/10 perfect I actually didn't expect to like this one that much. I don't agree with the popular headcanon of him being a "father figure" to Yuma mainly because 1) these are grown ass men 2) i hate the found family trope 3) sure Yuma might call him daddy a few times but father just sounds too formal you know,

Makoyuma (Yuma x Makoto): 7/10 and points removed only because I literally think about it like, once in a year. Like on paper they are mega compelling but unfortunately I cannot bring myself to care or maybe just forgot if I did earlier. Maybe when I get to all the makoyuma scenes on my revisit it'll awaken something I literally have nothing to say right now. For now I'll just say their dates are NOT fucking normal

Kokoxander (Yuma x Fake/Hitman Zilch): 6/10 I saw it quite a few times actually and it's interesting I'd say!! Though it's pretty much impossible (or just weird, lmao) for me to imagine Aide having feelings for, let alone pursue, anyone other than Yomi I mean if I squint there is something there that makes me want to start biting and shaking it around in my teeth. The 2-minute long yaoi they must have had on the train was bizarre and unnerving. In less angst-packed scenarios, like a kokohell au I can 100% see Yomi just introducing his new chewstick boyfriend to Aide and him having to tolerate him which pretty much progresses like. Aide says he doesn't want a new pet guy, Yomi gets one anyway, two weeks later Aide and Yuma found moaning sexually while lighting each other's cigarettes looking into each others eyes in a non-bro way locked in tender embrace anyway I don't know what they're typically called cause like 3 entire people including myself ship it so I made up one on the spot and kinda sounds like some hard drug name. Also Yomi makes them fuck while he watches and sits upon the Fudanshi Throne in front of them. This is the kind of fucked up twisted shit that happens when he acquires a polycule

Kokowendy (Yuma x Kurumi): 5/10 I like their dynamic fine actually and I don't really know if that's a common opinion here? I just don't know if I'll really prefer it as romantic instead of just what it was in the game. I love Kurumi what a funky little lad I don't trust people who don't like Kurumi. I want to put that boy (tmasc beam activate) in so much wacky situations and many of them don't even involve Yuma

Kokomare (Yuma x Halara): 3/10 I like their dynamic but there's not an ounce of love within Halara's body that's not exclusively reserved for adorable little kitties. Not a single romantic or sexual or platonic or familial thought in them. They view Yuma as like, kind of like a wet stray kitten they are graciously taking in they'll never admit it but he's kinda cute with those prey animal eyes

Kokobolt (Yuma x Desuhiko): 1/10 sorry not for me + I don't like Desuhiko

Kokolight (Yuma x Vivia): 1/10 sorry not for me + I don't like Vivia

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Thoughts on Joker as an optional boss in P3R

.........................................snrk.

Wow....just....wooooow wowowowowowowooooow. Wow. Woof. Omg. Wow.

"Silly salt incoming?" Yes but in a "At this point I'm not even fucking surprised. Just wow!" type of salt

"Are you mad cause it's Joker/P5 related?" I mean like...yes and no?

"No?" I'm not inherently against him being an optional boss. I'm all for past characters coming back. Is it a biiiiit annoying it seems to be ONLY P5 related? Yeah. But like, that's because it seems to ONLY be P5. If it was P5 IN ADDITION to something else, I really wouldn't bat an eye. Like how I didn't for P3/4MCs in P5R (Sad they drew the line at those two only, but....hey. At least we got SOMETHING)

"Then what's the yes?" Besides weird timeline bullshit, which I'm sure they'll have an explanation (or at this rate I hope so). It's just....

I find it funny.......how the devs want to hide behind.... "keeping the original spirit alive" or some bullshit like that. As a means to tell certain fans why we can't have certain things in this game.

I mean, should I be surprised? They removed key features of the original game despite saying that. Yet still tried to hide behind that narrative. "Oh no it's more like Vanilla P3!....except for the FES stuff WE want still.....oh, and using a lot of P3P's stuff too-" I mean.....still funny they wanna hide behind that narrative. All that considered.

Sorry, that was a side tangent. Joker fight only now. Ok.

I find it funny they wanna hide behind that narrative....and then put Joker, a P5 character, THAT WASN'T IN THE ORIGINAL GAME, into the DLC. Just....huh. Interesting.

Just....didn't think to, you know, put a different character in the game? A legacy one. Maybe P1MC? With the whole Tartarus shared scenario and Nyx scenario? No?

Or maybe Tatsuya/Maya? I mean, P2 and P3 have a lot of overlapping parallels. Greek theme, dual MCs, sun and moon themes to name a few. Orpheus in some mythos being Apollo's child.... A real passing of the torch vibe when it comes to P2 going to P3 tbh.

Oh! Or you know, having them face Labby or Sho! They had them as DLC in P3D, plus it would've been PERFECT! We could've had all 3 P3 themed robo girls in ONE GAME! :D Plus they already have working models for them! They'd just need to update them.

Or......you know. They could've gone with the obvious one? Esp if timeline/space bullshit isn't an issue. One that would've been both a narrative AND mythos driven gut punch. They could've gone with FeMC! :D

"Oh but we can't have her in the game, it'll take up too much time and mone-" It's one model for a boss fight. (ʘ‿ʘ) One. Model. We don't even need to account for her Personas because they already have models. Just one model, for a boss fight, with certain animations tied to that. "But money" oh noooooo a company has to make one model with certain animations for a fight and not a whole story mode? Whatever shall they do? Where will they get the time and money to do one model with fight animations? :( :( :( :( :( (/sarcasm)

"But would fans really like-" Yes. We are asking for crumbs. Literally the bare minimum they could've done.

I'm starting to think that they are allergic to her. Cause why else are they dodging her like Neo dodges bullets? TT0TT

"You ok Silly?" Yeah I'm fine. I'm annoyed. Not even pissed. Just....."yeah this is what I expected" and moved on. But I had a feeling I should make a post about it so I came back. >_> Literally took me a few hours to realize the bs after seeing it drop kjaskfdl My first reaction was "yeah sounds about right" THEN after a few hours I was like "wait a minute....." jklsadjfkal

If anything, the need for Atlus to hire a new PR manager for BOTH Jpn and West is just becoming more apparent. I mean they've needed it for years now but ooof please someone save them. save me TT0TT

Tldr; I don't care Joker is in the game because it's P5/Joker. I'm not against him being in the game. I'm just FOR other things ALSO being in the game. And I find it weird they draw the line at other things but then choose Joker???? So weird. :/

[glysaturn]

omg ive followed ur acc since middleschool and people r complaining abt ur somji??? ur SINGLE somji post? do they just expect u to remain postinf the same pairing for centuries?? honestly kudos to u for even posting spuriken for so long like thats the real highlight here i thinks tbh 👍👍👍 (/pos)

i mean it wasn't a /single/ post but it's the most recent one so yea apparently it suddenly became an issue. i know i haven't really ever mentioned it but i've been shipping those two since 2017 so the implication that i am now trying to "sneak in" somji all of a sudden is REAL funny to me. i was subjugated by the evil hetties and now i am poisoning the blessed homosexual oasis or some shit. nah dude it was always there.

and it's even funnier considering that i still draw a ton of genji/cass, and i mean A TON.

i sure am glad i don't share my works online anymore that much. which makes the situation even more bonkers cuz like. this is my /second/ post i've made on tumblr this year. and they make it look like as if i've got some sneaky campaign going on. when i'm like.. barely present online.

crazy to me how back in the day people used to ask me about my overwatch ships and now the sole idea of me having more than one ship is enough to have me crucified. times sure have changed.

yea i know, now that you've put it that way it's.. wow. that's so shallow.

i mean it's okay if someone posts something and you're just not into it, that can happen, at which point you can either ignore the thing or unfollow the person entirely, depending on how severe it is. instead of like.. yknow, fabricating an insane story about how i'm betraying a community i've built and betraying them personally by UHHHHH posting a thing on my blog that they made a decision to follow.

[an-aura-about-you]

I have finally got my house mostly clean including fully cleaning my bathroom, so let's see how much Handbook for Mortals I can do during the rest of my lunch.

going into Chapter 10 part 1:

when we last left our hero, Scheherazade hadn't really done anything, but we saw a bunch of boys gushing about her. seems kinda ironic since one of those characters bothers to mention that girls gush when they like a guy and we hadn't actually seen that yet.

anyway, Chapter 10: The Hanged Man

-tbh I can't think of the Hanged Man without thinking of Drumbot Brian in High Noon Over Camelot, and I would probably enjoy this a lot better if the Mechanisms showed up and caused a bunch of violence.

-Zade, as usual, is thinking about Mac and Jackson, but this time she's at the same bar where the gang celebrated Drew's birthday! idk if I mentioned that Zade wasn't there because she doesn't actually make an effort to make friends.

-she once again says Mac and Jackson had been friends before, but again, we don't really see this. Jackson spent his part of the last chapter needling Mac about how he's going after Zade. that is literally the only time we've seen those two interact and it was antagonistic.

-here we are, 11 chapters into the book (remembering to count Chapter 0) and we FINALLY get something resembling world building, and it's cribbed from Queen Terf's magical British school system books because Zade tells us it's frowned upon for those with magic (no I am not gonna spell it with the k) to get with mortals.

-this is also the first time Zade mentions ANYTHING about her father, and that's saying he's a mortal. this is insulting with all the other shit she's keeping under wraps about her dad.

-Zade's like, "I wasn't marrying anyone," as if we haven't been hit over the head every single time someone brings up dating that a long-term commitment is expected. girl, forever is not guaranteed. what happened to just dating people? for fun?

-quotations are placed weird in this bit:

Jackson was close to perfect minus the whole "just a mortal situation"

also

...something I hadn't quite place [sic] my finger on.

-"It could just be fear and my lack of ability to want to make a decision." excuse the fuck outta me?????? I'm so mad that this is going unexamined. you KNOW you're gonna have to make a choice at SOME point right? if you're insisting that the love triangle is the most significant thing going on in this book, that means you're gonna have to figure out WHY you don't want to make a decision. is it the destiny bullshit? do you have any agency at all??????

-this following passage pisses me off so bad:

I have always hated making tough decisions, but usually the tarot was far more helpful than it had been so far, considering that it hadn't given me a clear-cut winner no matter how I asked it. Its "freewill clause" must have been behind some kind of weird lesson I was supposed to learn.

first off, you IGNORED a trump card in your spread because you ~didn't know why it was there~ meaning you're skipping over any insight you might have gotten from it. (though if we're going with my interpretation, you overlooked it because seeing it would have meant admitting to yourself that you're the problem.) you also overlooked part of the nature of the Lovers in your spread, a fairly important part since its imagery was mirrored in another card in that same spread.

second, what the fuck do you mean by this "freewill clause" bullshit???? I know you're some kind of fatalist, but if that's the case why are you even entertaining the idea of free will? and if you're not a fatalist, then you know that means the cards are telling you that YOU'RE the one who has to make the choice on this one, right?????

I get. so very mad when tarot cards are viewed this way. they help you make decisions through interrogation, meditation, and self-examination, not because they're a 78-sided die in a Magic 8 Ball!

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

my poor tarot cards are now scattered all over the floor.

and my lunch is basically over so we're putting a pin in it.

[inkofamethyst]

September 6, 2023

Actual goals for this school year:

Stay within my monthly budgets (I'll give september a pass if needed)

Take a programming course (in R or Python probably)

Go to fitness classes both to stay fit and to meet people

Maintain connections with interesting people (pretend to be the fearless extrovert)

Try at least one new recipe each month (again, september gets a pass)

Decorate my room

Go to symposia and talks in various departments; bask in the intellectual community

Read for fun or listen to audiobooks on occasion

No studying while eating (exceptions include: exam in 48 hours or less, expected reading due in 24 hours or less)

These are more like "additional" goals, I guess, since I would indeed like to become hotter, weirder, richer, more terrifying, and more unpredictable. I know I should become richer and I'm always on the trajectory to become weirder, but I may have to put work into the other three.

A wise man on tiktok once said "not every day can be a slay" and you know what? He was right. Sometimes it's totally worth having a chill day where you just don't put massive amounts of thought into your life. Yes, romanticizing the little moments feels good. But if it requires more mental energy than I can reasonably give that day, then it's not worth it. Same goes for outfits and meals and all sorts, really. It's actually something I've been putting into practice long before I'd heard it put into those words. Granted, a day of "non-slay" might look different for everyone. But it doesn't mean that I'm a failure for deciding to wear leggings or sweatpants on a day when I really just can't be arsed.

When I was talking to that random dude the day before school started, I told him that this school year felt different. He asked why and I had to say that I couldn't really put my finger on it. That was a lie. I just didn't want to make our lighthearted conversation into a therapy session. In fact, I could place not just a finger, but all of my fingers and some of my toes on it. 1. far away from home for an extended period 2. the whole thing with ~~~elite~~~ education (not imposter syndrome, more like the internal and personal discomfort of contributing to a system of hierarchies (the same way that race is a human construct that isn't really real but the effects of racism are real? academic elitism is socially constructed but has real effects (and you know ultimately this may not matter because the academic job market sucks and I may not be offered find a position (that I like bc why not be picky) in the first place lol))) 3. feeling very young 4. feeling ungrounded because, unlike the rest of my cohort, I came up here a week before school started and moved in merely days prior, so I wasn't nearly as grounded in my space as I would liked to have been. There's probably some other things that I just can't conjure up right now.

Full disclosure, most of the above comes from before school started. I'm not swamped with work, not exactly, but I certainly haven't had much time to devote to journaling (tbh this is exactly the time that I should be journaling). I don't really know where all of my hours are going (and maybe it's just the school adjustment period, it is only the second day, after all). I'll do a full recap sometime later. Ultimately: I'm doing okay.

Today I'm thankful that I'm doing okay.

Last thing: considering auditioning for/joining a choir. It's mostly undergrads, though they take grad students. It seems like a dope program. But there's a musical theatre one (also mostly undergrads lol) that also seems cool. It's been a long while since I've done MT. I do miss it, I think. But doing MT covers doesn't make me feel nearly as powerful as singing as part of a symphony :/ I could always go for the real choir some other year if I really wanted. I'll be here for six or so. I've got time.

I mean I've always wanted to do a musical theatre duet.

This could also just be pre-audition nerves ha.