#wasn't really able to work out the perspective on this but it's alright

[cattnipt]

sit with me?

[happy74827]

Parallel Hearts

[Marty Mcfly x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: Just as he was about to leave for good, Marty finds himself at a standstill because of you.

WC: 1,595

Category: Fluff

I always wanted to write about the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance and now I have. Enjoy!

『••✎••』

“Marty, that was very interesting music.”

The words were uttered in a tone that was as dry as a desert, but Marty didn’t care to take heed of it, for he had a mission – and that was to get home as fast as he could.

He knew Doc was waiting for him at the clock tower, with the DeLorean fully hooked up and ready to go. His face was probably set and grim, too. In fact, Marty was certain Doc would be more than a little concerned, since Marty had been away much longer than he had told him.

But he had to make sure he was going to be able to return back to 1985, so what did it matter if he spent an extra ten minutes just to make sure he was still going to exist?

Besides, the old-fashioned audience actually appreciated his guitar skills (for the most part), and it felt good to be noticed, even if it wasn't the type of audience he was used to. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

And so… Marty was going to leave this outdated time period behind with a smile and return back to 1985, the town Hill Valley that he had grown up in, where he had his best friend who knew him, his frenemy, his parents, and the life that he loved.

He was going to return to the Hill Valley he called home, but then he saw you.

He had only met you a couple of times before, but he recognized you instantly. It was hard to forget the young woman that was so dedicated and so determined to help him out in his mission, despite being completely clueless about it. You had helped him a great deal with setting up George and Lorraine, and the way you had helped him was something he could never repay.

He couldn’t help but feel a slight twinge of regret when he thought of his rushed adventure in the past, because he had never gotten the chance to get to know you. He was just aware of your name and that you were a good friend of Lorraine.

“Leaving so soon?” you asked, the smile on your lips soft and gentle. Your eyes sparkled in a way that was very familiar, and he remembered how Lorraine had looked at him when he first approached her.

It wasn't exactly the same look, but there was a spark of something in your eyes that made Marty stop in his tracks.

Maybe it was a mistake to linger, because he knew that his life was quite literally on the line. And yet, here he was, doing just that.

“Uh, yes?” he replied, feeling like an absolute fool for being so tongue-tied. He could barely manage to get a word out, and his mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. He was usually cool under pressure, but right now, he was anything but cool.

Your expression softened, and you looked at him with such sympathy that it made his heart ache. He could feel a blush slowly creeping up his cheeks.

It didn’t make any sense, he didn't even know you! And yet, it was as though there was a connection. It wasn’t something physical, or something tangible, but something deeper and more meaningful.

Marty couldn’t understand his strange thoughts, or the way his heart was racing so fast. The sensation was unfamiliar, and it was almost as though he was experiencing his own life from an outsider's perspective.

It was strange, and not something that was easy to describe. But one thing was certain...

He really did want to get to know you.

You tilted your head slightly, a look of amusement crossing your features. He realized then that he had been silent for a long time.

"Are you alright?" you asked, reaching out and placing your hand on his arm. "You look a little lost."

“What? No! I mean, yes. Yeah, I'm… peachy." he replied quickly, trying his best to regain some semblance of composure. "I, uh, just wanted to thank you again for helping me out with the whole Lorraine and… uh, George situation. It worked, and they're together... in love. Soon, they'll get married and have three kids, and hopefully this time be a happy family.”

He could see your confusion at his words, but you hid it well as a smile spread across your face. "That’s… very specific, but I’m glad it worked out. Lorraine really needed someone who would cherish her. She's a very sweet girl."

There was a long silence, and Marty felt his heart thumping wildly against his chest. It was so loud that he was certain you could hear it.

He took a deep breath and tried to calm his nerves. It wasn’t working.

One thought told him that he needed to go. The other urged him to stay.

A strange mixture of fear and anticipation made his heart pound even faster. He glanced around the room, searching for an escape route.

It would be easier to walk away now and forget about you. He knew he couldn’t afford to dally, not when Doc was waiting for him at the clock tower. He would probably have a heart attack if he was kept waiting any longer.

Marty turned to look at you, his blue eyes meeting yours. "I should, uh… really be going," he said, his voice faltering. "It's been really nice to see you again."

Before he could take another step, though, you reached out and grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

Marty turned to look at you, and was surprised by the intensity in your eyes.

"Can you spare one dance?" you asked, giving him a small smile. "Just one. It'll be quick, I promise."

He had a feeling it would be a bad idea. He was on a deadline, and time was running out. He was also supposed to be avoiding any form of contact with people from the past. It could change history, and he couldn't risk making another mistake.

But wouldn’t it be a mistake if he walked away from you?

What if the reason he felt this strange connection was because he was meant to get to know you? What if it was a sign that he was destined to meet you, and that he shouldn't walk away?

Marty took a deep breath, and decided that, for once, he was going to go against his better judgement and follow his heart.

Doc would probably hate him for it, but Marty didn’t care. What he did care about was the way your smile brightened when he caved and allowed you to drag him back.

He was slightly irritated with the fact that the band was still playing without that guitar, as it meant they completely bullshitted him on the whole 'can’t play without Marvin' thing, but when he took your hand in his, he forgot what he was mad about, and found himself getting swept away by the moment.

It wasn't a complicated dance. In fact, it was incredibly simple, but it was nice. Dancing with you was nice. It was like dancing in a dream. He felt like he was floating on air as he was lulled by the soft melody of the song.

It was a magical moment, and he wished it could last forever. However, reality came crashing down upon him, and he was suddenly reminded that his time was short.

He had to get home.

"I... I really have to go," Marty muttered, his gaze flickering down to your lips. You were close, so close that he could feel your warm breath tickling his cheek.

It would be so easy to lean in and kiss you, but he knew that would be a mistake. If he kissed you, it would only complicate things.

As much as he wanted to stay, he had to go.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I wish I could stay, but I… I can't.”

"That's okay," you replied, giving him a sad smile. "I understand."

You pulled away, and Marty instantly missed the warmth of your body pressed against his. Man, this was hard. He had never felt such a strong attraction to anyone before, and it was a struggle to resist.

You placed your hands on his shoulders and looked at him with an unreadable expression.

"Marty," you began, and his name sounded so sweet coming from your lips. "Thank you. For everything."

Before he could ask what you meant, you leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. It was light and quick, but it was enough to send his heart racing.

"Goodbye, Marty," you whispered, a hint of sadness in your voice.

And then you were gone, disappearing into the crowd, leaving him standing there with his jaw hanging open and his heart racing.

He didn't know what to say or how to react.

All he knew was that he would never forget the look in your eyes as you turned and walked away. It caused his hands to shake a little, and he couldn’t help but run one through his hair.

Damn. He couldn’t stop the memory of the way your lips felt against his cheek from lingering in his mind. It was a moment he would never forget.

He didn’t know if he would ever see you again, but he knew that he would never forget the girl with the sparkling eyes.

And, perhaps, if he was lucky, he would see you again.

[day-dreamsinthedark]

If you write x Reader, may I request some head cannons for Demetri Alexopoulos x reader where the reader is Sam's older sibling?

Hi! So I am not very great with head-canons, nor am I comfortable with writing in the 2nd perspective, but I really enjoy this idea so I thought I would try? My sincerest apologies if this is not what you wanted, but if you'd like to request anything else, I'd love to try it! Also, so sorry for the wait!

ALSO. There are a few curse words, I am SO SORRY if you aren't comfortable with them. Please let me know!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Demetri seems like the type of guy to fall in love with any girl that is even remotely nice to him, so imagine his surprise when LaRusso!Reader is the first person he meets when he starts at West Valley High School's coding club. As Samantha's older sister, or her Irish twin, as their parents love to tell everyone, you had always been a little self-conscious.

The eldest sister. A title once loved, now something more like a curse. Unachievable and utterly unbearable. You have always been entirely uncoordinated and just uncomfortable in your own skin, so karate has always been just out of your reach. Not that Daniel has ever minded– Kata has always been a comfort. Something to do in private, calming and kind.

This meant that LaRusso!Reader has never been very comfortable in the karate scene, but also around the family in general. It was easy to get lost in your own little world– books, games, television, and all things that made you unlike your sister.

-

He'd known you for over a year before he figured it out. He assumed that you were just the hot nerdy junior that none of the other guys could really appreciate, knowing absolutely nothing but your first name before Miguel kicked the social skills into him. And as someone who was equally as shy, you felt absolutely fine ignoring everyone and getting your work done.

I imagine that in this scenario, where there's a pretty girl who occasionally exchanges smiles and pleasantries, Demetri doesn't even really notice Yasmine (or her friend who looks suspiciously like LaRusso!Reader)

He's so caught up in his crush on Reader that Eli's got to consistently remind him that being nice is not the same thing as having feelings, even if you always went out of your way to compliment whatever fandom-related memorabilia or clothing he brought to school. Like that time you complimented his Doctor Who shirt (and then wore your favorite GOT shirt the next day– to which he did not compliment, because he was so stupidly starstruck.)

Still, there wasn't much interaction between the two of you for the first year and a half that you had known each other. 

-

It wasn't until you finally gave in and decided to train with Sam and Robby that everything had changed. You'd only agreed to the basics, some Kata and maybe a bit of sparring. Robby was kind and made Sam a lot happier than you'd expected her to be, so what possible harm could there be in trying?

So there you were, minding your business in your dojo's yard. Eyes closed as you stretched– a backbend, a stretch that Sam was never able to get, and likely the only athletic thing you’d ever been able to do– ignoring your sister’s conversation with her "not" boyfriend and your father. 

“It’s time we be patient.” Your dad said, “Let those who need us find us. Alright?”

At this, you thought it might be an important time to join the conversation, preparing yourself for the hard part: flipping back over. You hadn’t quite mastered that yet, but it wasn’t… impossible. 

Then, a familiar voice. One that you hadn't heard in months because he and Eli had quit the team without a word. Not that you had spoken much anyway, but still it hurt. 

“Excuse me? Uh, it was unclear if the gate was the front–” He stopped abruptly, missing a porch step and managing to call out your name in confusion just as he hit the floor. You, on the other hand, fell over on your arms just as the realization set in.

“Ow. Jesus.” “Fuck’s sake.” The two of you spoke at the same time.

Neither of you had stood yet, but you craned your neck at him as Demetri called your name out again– from his spot on the ground.

 “Are you… what are you– you know karate?”

Instead of responding, you groaned out in pain. “Mhm. Little.”

You’d fallen quite awkwardly, hurting your shoulder in the process, so by the time you had fixed yourself, you opted to stay on the floor. It was infuriating. Instead of actually trying to help either of you, everyone in the yard simply passed looks. From you, to Demetri, and then to each other. Sam and Robby’s eyebrows lifted so high you were shocked they managed to stay on their faces. Your father seemed mostly confused, but Sam chewed on her bottom lip in an attempt to swallow the shit-eating grin that was pushing its way out. 

“Thanks,” You said, shooting a glare at the two people beside you. “I appreciate the absolute lack of worry on everyone’s faces right now.”

“I’m” –Demetri started, voice frantic and cracking as he moved forward slowly. It was odd. You couldn’t recall the two of you ever having spoken more than a few words to each other at once. –“You’re… you were in the Coding Club.”

“Correction. I am in the Coding Club.” You smiled at him, patting your knees clean as you stood up. You leaned forward ever so slightly, “You’re the one that quit.”

His eyes go wide and his face runs red. And that is precisely where your story would start. 

–

Demetri seems pretty obsessive in general, so the two of you would be attached by the hip, regardless of whether or not either of you were aware of each others interest. Mr. LaRusso would probably lose his mind at the idea that he started a dojo just for his male students to be infatuated with his daughters. The arguments would probably start with a lot of, “I’m running a dojo, not a fucking dating show!”

Demetri x OlderLaRusso!Reader would also be incredible bc it would have such an intense change on the dojo wars!!! Demetri would be so caught up in trying to spend time with you that he wouldn’t give so much attention to Hawk’s shenanigans. The mall fight would probably change a ton. Demetri still would have submitted that Yelp review, but the mall scene would’ve gone a little differently because instead of third wheeling Sam and Robby, he’d be following you around like a lost puppy. 

I also love the idea that Hawk– who very likely also had a small crush on you at some point– is fucking flabbergasted when he sees the two of you together at the mall. Maybe the two of you are laughing over some ridiculous comic, or he finds you just as your hands graze. At this point in his journey, he definitely wouldn’t care, but I think he’d resent the idea that Demetri is allowed to have any sort of romantic interest as a nerd. If Hawk wasn’t good enough, then Demetri shouldn’t be either. 

Ugh, I love the little emotional journey those boys go through. 

ANYWHO. 

Even if Hawk is fully infatuated with Moon at this point, seeing you with Demetri would fuel his rage. I'm also fairly certain that seeing you would trigger some sort of response from the Eli that knew you.

You would be a reminder of who he used to be, but especially who the three of you were together. Oh he definitely would have also been into you, because why wouldn't he be? Those boys did everything together. It was probably this sort of "We can both like her because she'd never date either of us" rule. Like a celebrity crush lol

Not only did you fucking like Demetri, but you were incredible at karate. How? Who taught you?

Imagine Hawk’s shock at getting his ass handed to him by the shy girl who led half of the Coding Club meetings? The realization that you're not only better than him at karate, but very obviously into Demetri, who has done absolutely nothing to be worthy of having positive attention would drive him insane. The fact that you did all this while still being entirely unashamed of your "nerd" title would not help.

Demetri’s shock, I think, would go something like this:

“I thought you said you weren’t good at karate?” He’d say as he hides behind a rack of sunglasses. You’d run towards him, grabbing his hand and pulling him back towards where Sam and Robby should be. 

“I’m not. You’re just…”

“Okay! I get it!” He’d interrupt, face red and horrified. 

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

You can probably tell that I'm not used to writing in head-canon style lol I think I am more comfortable with little scenes? I also ran out of ideas bc it's been a while since I've seen the show, but I'm planning on a rewatch soon. SO if you enjoyed this at all and want anything specific pls let me know! I'm not very comfortable with x Reader but I would like to be!

Thank you for the req, and again-- so sorry for the wait!

[marshmallowprotection]

I need to let GE Suit take a nap on my lap while I pet his hair. After all he’s been through he just needs to rest

"It's been a while since you've taken a break, hasn't it?"

Saeran was quiet as he deposited his head on your lap and spread out along the other side of the couch. You weren't going to complain about that creature comfort, it took a lot for him to work up the old courage to let himself be vulnerable with you. You were glad he was willing to share that with you, even it took baby steps for him to push forward to where he wanted to be.

You never ever wanted to pressure him to do something he wasn't comfortable with, so you let him set the pace and decide the best way to be close to you. If he only wanted to hold your hand, you'd be alright with that, and if he wanted more? You would be happy to have that, too. As long as he was in your life and finally free to do anything he could've ever dreamed of before he realized he could actually have it, you were grateful for the chance to see him prosper.

Seeing Saeran smile and press forward without once hesitating was a blessing you never wanted to miss out on.

He told you before that he didn't think he would ever be capable of having a free life. He assumed it would be possible for Ray, but never for himself. You couldn't blame him for feeling that way given how that perspective was tortured into him in the first place, but seeing him overcome that torture and heal little by little was proof that he was getting a little better every day. He was starting to believe in his dreams, instead of just counting on the ones Ray made for himself.

He had his own dreams to carry, and he was making them come true in his own way.

You tangled your hands in his hair and listened to the sounds of his soft breathing as he wrapped his arms around your center to be all the closer to you than he was before. He liked that, he liked it when you stroked his hair and made him look ridiculous when he sat up to get some dinner afterward, and who were you to deny him that easy gesture?

Gentle touches were a reminder he was loved, and even if someone told him he could aspire for more than that, he'd laugh in their laugh.

Because out of anything he could ever dream of, being able to have someone caress his cheek and smile at him was really all he wanted. After a long day of putting himself out there again, you were happy to be there waiting for him, with gentle touches craving his bright smile and honesty every time.

"I missed you," he whispered.

"I missed you, too."

[howlingday]

So, jaune magic is actually straight-up death. When the brother They're whole strict they made up the 4 horsemen. Adam got war, jaune got death, and I don't know who got pestilencing. And famine.

If jaune would ever go at full power, a Coffin would Appear above the sky releasing death to reap souls. An example of how the power system works for them. The more war that happens, the stronger adam Apostle gets, meaning He can summon more troops and stuff like that. The more you go to war with them, the worse he gets to fight. so counters to him are single strong targets Since that doesn't count as war jaune Doesn't really have a weakness also the four horsemen are The maidens from the original show they're considered myth.

Jaune: Okay... Deep breaths...

Jaune: Mmngh...

Ruby: (Waiting with bated breath)

Jaune: Ngh... Agh! Dang it...

Ruby: Aw, you were so close, too! I could feel it!

Blake: No, he wasn't.

Ruby: Well, maybe from your perspective, but from where I was watching from-

Blake: Penny, did Jaune make any progress?

Penny: Yes, he did!

Ruby: See?!

Penny: Jaune has managed to perspire more than he has in his previous attempts!

Jaune: ...At least I'm working up a sweat?

Yang: Hey, that's my line!

Ruby: Yang! Where have you been?

Yang: Oh, you know, doing dragon things.

Blake: Dragon things that you haven't told us about.

Yang: Because they're supposed to be a secret~!

Blake: If they're so secret, then why would you tell us?

Yang: Because why bother doing them if you can't tell anyone about it?

Blake: (Opens mouth)

Ruby: I wouldn't bother. Yang always wins, one way or the other. Usually by dropping the subject.

Yang: So, what's going on here?

Ruby: See? We're helping Jaune use his mana like he did before!

Jaune: If only I remembered how to do it.

Yang: How'd it happen before?

Ruby: Jaune got into a fight with Cardin.

Yang: Well, ask ol' rock face to throw down.

Blake: We can't. He's too scared of Jaune.

Yang: Yeah, sure. What's the real reason?

Ruby: It's true, though! Jaune's mana was so scary, it puts my hair on end just thinking about it!

Yang: Really? Well, maybe I should throw down with ol' Vomit Boy here?

Jaune: Come on, it was one time!

Yang: Yeah, yeah. So, you up for a spar?

Jaune: Do I get to say no?

Yang: Sure, but you probably won't be able to get your mana out until then. It's how I learned to use mine!

Jaune: ...Alright. Let's do it!

-----------------------------------------------

Goodwitch: Are you sure we shouldn't intervene, Ozpin? After all, Ms. Xiao Long is set to a higher standard than Mr. Arc.

Ozpin: Yes, I'm sure, Glynda. And you'd be surprised what a little friendly competition can do for training.

Goodwitch: I hate surprises, Oz.

Ozpin: I'm well aware.

-----------------------------------------------

"Set us off, Rubes!"

"You got it! Ready!" Ruby lifted her arm high into the air. "GO!"

Yang disappeared in a blink, leaving Jaune bewildered on the ground. He looked around for any sign of her, before noticing the shadow on the ground. He looked up to see her hurtling towards him like a missile. He backed away, only to get knocked into the back wall by her landing in his mid-section. She jumped back with a laugh.

"C'mon! Is that it?"

"Ouch..." Jaune groaned as he stood up. "That really hurt."

"Yeah, that's what a kick to the stomach does, Jaune!" Yang called with a snigger.

"Huh? Oh, no, I meant my back." He called back. "I didn't even feel your kick."

"What?"

-----------------------------------------------

Ozpin: Did you see it, Glynda?

Goodwitch: I did. It was faint, but there was cloud protecting his body from the kick. So, Mr. Arc is a necromancer?

Ozpin: Indeed, and very intuned as well. It normally takes decades to achieve that level of unconscious response.

Goodwitch: It could be a fluke.

Ozpin: We'll just have to see.

Goodwitch: ...

-----------------------------------------------

"Alright, Jaune, if you didn't feel that kick, then how about I instead kick things up to where you will feel it?" As Yang said this, she drew mana from her scaled arms until they became golden balls of flame. Before was just a sample of the least she could do with her draconic mana, but now she was really wanting to show off. "Don't worry, I'm sure you've got another outfit you can wear!"

With a toss, a fireball launched at Jaune, making him leap to the side. Barely missing to the point where he could feel the intense heat, he watched in slow-motion as another fireball was closing in on his face. Throwing up his hands, he fell to the floor, grunting as he hit the ground.

A black cloud spread from where he landed, the thick miasma reaching across the floor until the whole floor was covered in the foreboding fog. Ruby and Blake scurried to the top of the bleacher, every fiber of their being telling them touching, or even breathing the vapor blanketing the floor could be the last thing they'd ever do. Penny didn't feel this same fear but followed the others up the bleachers as they fled. Yang jumped into the air, watching as hands rise from underneath her to grab at her. She didn't want to think what would happen if she was caught by them.

"Hey!" She called out. "Nice trick, but you're still wide open!" Yang was about to summon another fireball when she suddenly felt something grab her shoulder. Something colder than ice, so cold that it burned! She turned, finding a horrifying skeletal face gazing back at her. She wanted to scream, but felt her body lock up in fear. Was this it? Was this the end?

"ENOUGH!" Professor Goodwitch stood panting from the top of the staircase, and the black fog and the grabbing hands and the skeleton face all now fully disappeared. "I think... I think that..."

"Allow me, Professor Goodwitch."

-----------------------------------------------

Ozpin: While I encourage pushing each other to our very limits, I also believe that setting boundaries is just as imperative in our mana development. Especially when canceling mana puts a strain on our dear deputy headmistress.

Goodwitch: Hah... Hah...

Ozpin: So, let's all take a break and discuss what we did right, what we did wrong, and how we can improve on ourselves. Hm... In fact, sparring matches such as these shall be postponed until you all write an essay on the subject.

Ruby: Even us?

Ozpin: I considered having only these two writing it, but I believe the bystanders are just as at fault as the participants. So yes, I will expect essays from you three as well.

Ruby: Ah, man... (Looks to Penny)

Blake: Don't even think about it.

Ruby: I wasn't!

Ozpin: Are you alright, Professor Goodwitch?

Goodwitch: ...I am now. It's been a long time since I've had to undo mana that powerful. Ozpin, you knew, didn't you? You knew that he-

Ozpin: Yes, I did. (Looks to Jaune) And that is why he is here. So that he can use it in the best way possible.

Jaune: So, uh, how'd I do, guys?

Blake: (Stepping away)

Ruby: (Hiding behind Penny)

Jaune: Guys?

Penny: They are terrified of you.

Jaune: What?! Why?! What happened?!

Penny: Your magic had nearly harmed them, as well as Yang. If Yang had not taken to the air with her draconic mana, it is very unlikely that she would have survived.

Yang: Sheesh, way to talk about a girl behind her back. (Slaps Jaune's back) And you, man! What the heck was that? Nearly had me, ya know!

Jaune: I... don't really know.

Yang: Well, whatever it was, you only scared me a little bit!

Penny: Actually, you were the most terrified of the group.

Yang: Would you get outta here!

Jaune: Ruby? Blake? Are you guys... Are you guys scared of me?

Blake: ...Fear is beneath me.

Jaune: Huh?

Yang: Always the poet, huh, Blake?

Jaune: What about you, Ruby? Are you scared?

Ruby: ...Not anymore. You did scare me, though! Something about your mana just... It doesn't feel good Jaune. Like, it feels dangerous.

Jaune: Oh...

Yang: ...But?

Ruby: But... so did Yang's mana.

Jaune: Huh?

Ruby: Yeah, like, when I was starting to use my mana, Yang's mana used to scare me so bad! Then I started to get used to it. And now my hair doesn't even stand on end anymore!

Yang: Just give it time, do some practice with it, and everything should be fine. Right, Blake?

Blake: ...We still have to write our essays.

Yang: Always gotta bring down the mood, don't you?

-----------------------------------------------

Ozpin: That went quite well.

Goodwitch: Our students nearly died, Ozpin.

Ozpin: But they didn't. We got lucky, and lucky isn't always a bad thing. We caught the issue in time, so we don't have to worry about the council taking matters into their own hands.

Goodwitch: They will eventually, Ozpin. Sooner or later, they'll find out we don't just have a necromancer in attendance. We have one of the four horsemen.

[wordsarelife]

—back to december

pairing: quill kipps x fem!reader, ex!anthony lockwood x fem!reader

summary: you had left lockwood in a night filled with regret and there was nothing you wanted more than to apologise to him

warnings: angst, mention of unwellness, but not specified

notes: this got a bit more lockwood x reader (in a platonic way off) than i had planned lol. sorry :)

"so you're just going to leave?" he let go of your bag and had that look on his face again. a look that almost made you regret everything. but you wouldn't stay. you couldn't.

"i'm sorry" you said and with that you opened the door and left portland row, without ever coming back.

you woke up from someone softly shaking you. "what is wrong, love?" quill asked worriedly.

you looked at him confused, blinking at the light of the night lamp. "huh?"

"you were crying" quill explained

"oh" you adverted your eyes, trying not to think about lockwood and the dream you just had. you weren't going to think about your ex-boyfriend while you were laying in bed with your current one. "sorry, i woke you" you said quickly "it was just a bad dream"

"alright" quill pecked your lips, before he settled down again. you weren't able to go back to sleep, so you stood up and sat down on the couch in the living room, grabbing a book and trying to concentrate on something else.

you were sure those sudden dreams about lockwood and the night you left hadn't come out of nowhere.

there was this mission quill had mentioned. something that involved working with the agency head. of course quill knew about your past relationship, that's how you had met after all, but he had assured that you didn't have to see lockwood if you didn't want to.

"it's fine" you had said "i have to face him at one point"

quill had accepted your decision. you knew that you had to face lockwood, there was no way around it anymore, that didn't mean that you felt good though.

it had been a year since that night and you knew that it was your fault. you had known since that night that he atleast deserved an apology. something you hadn't been able to give him until now.

your relationship with quill had changed your perspective on a lot of things. it had made you realize that you were in a bad state during your relationship with lockwood. you had to llove yourself before you could love anyone else. you had made that clear to quill when you started going out. he had been nothing short of supportive and patient.

it's not that lockwood wouldn't have been, but you couldn't drag him into your mess. not when he had enough on his plate already.

the sun came up quicker than you had anticipated. "since when are you up?" quill walked into the living room barefoot.

"good morning" you smiled, craning your neck so he could kiss you "i wasn't able to go back to sleep after my nightmare"

"so bad huh?" he opened the drapes

"yeah" you shrugged

"was it about lockwood?" he could really read you better than anyone

you sighed, before you nodded

"you don't have to come" quill assured "i can take bobby"

"no" you shook your head "i want to come. i just feel so guilty"

quill's eyes grew softer when he turned to look at you. he sat down beside you and hugged you. "he will understand"

"he was good to me" you muttered "and i just walked away. without any explanation"

"you can explain now"

"i will" you nodded

later that day, you were standing in front of the door of portland row. quill knocked.

george opened the door and to your surprise he smiled and even hugged you. "y/n" he beamed "i haven't seen you in such a long time, how are you?"

"aren't you.. angry?" you threw a glance at quill, who just shrugged

"why would i be angry?" george made a motion for you two to enter the house "lockwood explained everything to us"

"he did?" you asked surprised

"y/n!" lucy rushed down the stairs and almost made you fall over by the force of the hug she was giving you.

you hugged her back. "hey" you muttered into her hair. the smell of the house and the smiles of your friends almost broke your heart. you had missed them. you had missed home.

"hey" lockwood said, entering the hall. he had grown a bit, his suit, that used to be too big, fitting him perfectly now. the bags under his eyes had disppeared and he looked a lot less tired.

"hi" lucy had loosened her hold on you.

"why don't we go into the kitchen to discuss the case?" lockwood suggested and you weren't able to do anything more than nod.

"so where did you find it?" quill pointed at the wrapped up mirror

"we can't tell you that" george crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair

"okay" quill nodded "did you steal it?"

"we also can't tell you that" lucy said excusingly

"well what can you tell us?" quill asked

during the encounter at the kitchen table. lockwood wasn't able to take his eyes off of you. he noticed that you looked healthier than the last time he had seen you. just like you had noticed the positive change about him.

your mind drifted off and you caught lockwoods eyes, who also seemed to be thinking about anything else.

"could we talk?" you whispered

lockwood nodded. "please excuse us" he said and you followed him out of the kitchen and into the library.

"you didn't change anything, did you?" you said, walking around the room and noticing that it was still the same that it had been all those months ago. even the photograph that pictured lockwood and you together hadn't left.

you took it into your hand, watching it closely. the photo had been taken by a stranger when lockwood and you had been on the london eye.

you had only thought about that day a month ago, when quill and you visited the london eye. the memory had hit you suddenly and almost ruined your entire day.

"i remeber this day" you muttered, putting the photo down in it's place

"i do too" lockwood said "a great day" "yeah" you turned around. "what did you tell george and lucy about me leaving?" you asked "i bet it wasn't the truth, no" you shook your head "they wouldn't treat me like this if it was" you looked at the door

"it wasn't exactly a lie either" lockwood shrugged "i told them that you needed time. that you weren't well and that you couldn't do that while you were here"

"lockwood" you muttered

"you look happy" he said "healthier and better than when we last talked"

"it's been so long" you mumbled

"a year and fourteen days" lockwood added "i thought about everything a lot"

"why aren't you screaming at me?" you asked with tears in your eyes "i just left and ruined everything"

"you did what you had to do"

"i hurt you"

"still"

"why do you always have to be this good to me?" you cried "why can't you just be angry?"

"because i'm not" he touched your arm to comfort you "and i won't pretend i am just because it's easier for you"

"i'm sorry" another tear escaped your eye "for everything. i wish i could go back and change things, i'm sorry fur hurting you"

"i know" he hugged you

"i wish i could've loved you right"

"i do too" he admitted "but i know that back then you weren't able to do that, even if you wanted it so badly"

"i always cherished our time together, but i wasn't the version of myself you needed" you explained "i think that you look much healthier too"

"i am much healthier"

"great" you smiled "i won't ever say that the way i handled it was right, because it wasn't, but i think we both needed to heal individually, we couldn't do it together"

"i agree" lockwood smiled back softly "and even if i'm not angry, i'm still glad that you came to apologise"

"i hope it wasn't too late"

"it never was" he assured "maybe we can be friends again some day, but for now, just know that i will always love you"

"i will always love you too"

"and i'm glad that we met, even if it ended badly" he send you a last assuring smile. "come on" and with that you followed him back into the kitchen, sitting back down in your seat, while quill took your hand, squeezing it softly.

lockwood noticed the gesture and smiled at you. you smiled back. everything was alright again.

[sysmedsaresexist]

This may be overstepping my bounds or you may not want to talk about this on this blog and if so please feel free to just delete this ask but on the chance this is alright here I have a question or two.

In the recent posts about Colin Ross and other professionals you've mentioned your 'professional circle' or your colleagues being therapists and it sounds like you work in the mental health field? If you do I'm just curious if you'd be willing to talk about that at all?

That's rather vague but I've been thinking about going into the mental health field and I'm curious what that might actually look like especially as someone with trauma.

This must be really odd if I've misunderstood what you've said, or uncomfortable if this just isn't something you want to talk about, and either way I know it's not really similar to what you normally post here so I'm sorry. Whether or not you respond though thank you for reading through this. I hope you have a good day.

I don't mind talking about it! I don't particularly enjoy talking about myself, but I have no issue sharing most information like this.

I do not currently work in the mental health field and I have never been licensed.

Like most of us, I'm sure, I was one of those "gifted" kids. I finished high school early with a several year scholarship, and fast tracked through 4 degrees.

My first degree was in social services and counselling. I worked in the field for about a year as a requirement for my education. In Canada, we have satellite schools for "troubled youth", and one was run out of a high school near me, so I counselled and provided support for about 30 students.

However, I was only 18/19 myself, and I was VERY OBVIOUSLY too traumatized to be working in the field. Some of the students were older than I was, and the things I heard and saw, the students that acted out violently that were twice my size...

I wasn't ready. My supervisor at the time, a woman in her 50s, told me, "In a field like this... you can't help others until you've helped yourself."

So I graduated, but switched into law. I wanted to work with those same youth, but maybe from a legal perspective (there were always police and lawyers involved). I finished my legal degree, took two more legal/business management and administration courses, became licensed, and worked for a few years in that field.

I really wasn't happy, though, as a woman and being so young, unless I wanted to start my own business, I was going to continue to face a bunch of condescending, old white men calling me, "high-school," because I don't drive and carry a backpack to and from work.

I work in sales now, making more money than I had ever hoped for, and for a company that is really, really good to its employees. I'm really happy where I ended up, though it was kind of a fluke. I voluntarily relinquished my legal license a couple of years ago because there's zero point in paying $2k a year in upkeep when I'm not going to use it.

Point is, though, I've kept in contact with a number of people in both the legal and sw field. My first therapist and I developed a bit of a weird relationship (not bad) but I was able to go to her on several occasions to talk as colleagues, not just client/therapist. I'm still in touch with her and occasionally reach out for questions. She gave me the info of a couple other specialists, of which I spoke to two of them.

I don't drop these names because it would really narrow down where I am, but on top of Colin Ross and Kymbra Clayton, I've also spoken with Marich, Loewenstein, I've tried to talk to the CTAD clinic, uhhh... Sunshaw is pretty open about her opinions. I'm trying to think of some other big names.

On the second part of this question...

Once you have a handle on your own trauma, you can be very, very successful in the mental health field. You have a unique perspective that can really help others.

It was an amazing experience, and I wish I had been older. I wish I had been through multiple therapists at that point, to see how others behaved. Being in therapy yourself is such an important step that no one talks about.

Trauma fatigue is a real thing that beats people in the field down into nothing. You'll hear every therapist say, "make sure you have your own therapist," and everyone nods their head but never actually goes to therapy. It's not just good for your own mental health, sitting on the other side of that chair can be terrifying and it's important for therapists to remember what that feeling is like, and to see how other clinicians handle clients. What do you like that they do? What do you hate? What are you not going to do with your next client?

You would be shocked to learn how many clinicians out there actually have DID! It's possible and highly rewarding. Just take your time and make sure you're actually ready for it.

There's no age limit on changing careers or going into a new field. Go slow, and take care of yourself first. Then you can be the best resource for others.

I hope that answers both questions <3

[skynapple]

My Xavier Playlist So Far

Youtube

Spotify

My songs and explanations under the cut! This is def more from Xavier's perspective, not really what I think his vibe is or what music I think he listens to.

Everything, Everywhere by Vaultboy

"Tell me why I'm stuck in a time loop while the pendulum swings on by

Tell me why I see you in everything, everywhere all the time"

Honestly enough said :(

When You Think of Me by JP Saxe

"Cause I swear I loved you fully

And I'm sorry not for stayin' who we thought I'd be

When you think of me

Am I just another man who leaves?"

Definitely from the perspective of thinking of the woman he left on the other side of the deepspace portal.

Iris, by Nightly

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

This is just a very intimate sounding cover. More emotional than the original, I think.

OK THIS ONE HEAR ME OUT:

Bernstein, by The Band Camino

"At another place in time, you were infinitely mine

Relatively alright when Berenstein was fine

At another place in time, only parallel to mine

The universe was alright when Berenstein was fine"

The concept of this song drives me absolutely INSANE and is one of my all-time favorite songs for this reason.

The concept is that maybe not in this lifetime, but somewhere out there in an alternate universe, in another dimension, there's a timeline where you'll never be apart, where you'll be together. Where things work out. Where in this lifetime maybe there's tragedy, but in another lifetime, you're mine. And if that isn't Xavier x MC I don't know what is.

The reason they say "Where berenstein is fine" is because of the whole theory of the mandala effect and if you don't know you should definitely look it up, it'll make much more sense! The mandala effect comes about because everyone seems to have a collective memory of something that never happened (in the songs case its the pronunciation of Berenstein/Bernstein), but people think it's result of a parallel universe? Anyway. It's tragic and beautiful and reminds me of MC having some vague recollections.

Superhero, by Lauv

"I met a superhero

I lost her

I want her back"

More tragedy in finding the person who was the one but never really being able to meet them again and while we know him and MC are reunited there's definitely been timelines where fate wasn't so kind.

Like No One Does, by Jake Scott

"The way that your hair falls in the morning when you first wake up

The way that I know all of the weird things in your coffee cup

I love the way I know that you're lying, the way that you're smiling

Darling, I love that I know you like no one does"

On a different note this one is very cute about a longterm relationship and possibly married life. He's happy to spend every intimate moment of his life with her!

Her Eyes the Stars, by LUCHS

This one is actually just an instrumental piano piece but it's very sweet, soft, and a bit sad, and I mean come on... the song title.

Last Man In The World, by The Band Camino

"I could find my way to you even if I had my eyes closed

When I'm with you, every time, I'm like "Where did all the time go?"

Come on we all have seen Xavier's cards. This one is purely about just wanting someone and yeah, "kiss me like I'm the last man in the world." And how when he's with her, everything else falls away.

Dancing in the Kitchen, by Zachary Knowles

"I wanna twirl you 'round the kitchen

Don't worry bout no dirty dishes

Not tryna do nothing ambitious, yeah

I just wanna dance with you"

Another cute song. Two things we know Xavier loves: being in the kitchen, and dancing with MC. This song is just good vibes and about enjoying being with the woman he loves.

Wake Me Up, by Mason Murphy and Parker Rudd

"Cause ever since the first time

You opened up my world I

Just can′t seem to close my eyes and sleep

I′m locked inside this day dream

Don't need any saving

But I need you to wake me up"

Because eepy boi! He's just an eepy guy!

Way After Forever, by Vaultboy

"I'm gonna love you way after forever

And if the Earth ends, I'll love you in Space

I'm gonna stay by your side through whatever

Through all the fights that I know I won't win

And every day that we're both getting older

I'll love you over and over and over

And over again"

Good God this song was written for Xavier x MC

It's so soft and sweet :( I do be crying about it.

[lgcxnoeul]

new horizon

He had spent the journey to their new dorm shooting b-roll for his video rather than speaking to the camera. His inner voice had disappeared, mind completely blank. He had to admit that he was happy with the newfound silence. He didn't know what he could verbalize other than that the new dorm was much farther than he had expected. He wonders if that decision was intentional by the company. It felt like that there had been a purposeful, clear divide ever since he had become a trainee underneath the sub-label and the rest of the company. Perhaps, he had to come to terms that it was his turn to take a step forward without trepidation like his friends had done before him.

He was relieved when the rest of the members had decided to continue working towards debut together. He had been able to envision all of them at the starting line, but the debut postponement had left a sour taste in his mouth regardless of whether or not it was a punishment. It had left him raw to the point that he felt like a completely different person entering the apartment building, but that feeling opened him up to having a fresher perspective of what the future held for the eight members. After all, the break had incited an incessant desire to prove themselves and there was no doubt that their group wouldn't disturb the industry like he had set his sight on achieving when he became a trainee.

He was impressed by the security features of the building, hiding the button he had pushed for the eighteenth floor. He distracts the camera with a shot of his reflection on the reflective surface, lifting a brow one after the other in amusement. He steps out of the elevator onto the floor, inputting the code he had yet to commit to memory. He removes his sneakers, pushing them against the wall until he figures out the closet space near the door.

He briefly turns the camera towards his face and releases a soft whistle of approval, staring out at the view from the living room. His attention shifts to the kitchen, curiosity getting the best of him when he opens one of the door to check inside. "I think filling fridge up and the freezer would be a lot of fun, but it wouldn't be too hard with nine people, right?" He mumbles with a soft laugh, giving the door a gentle push to close the fridge. He turns his attention back to the rooms, peeking into the first one to check out the closet space. "I'll be surprised if you can guess who my roommate is..."

"I don't think I'm a bad roommate." He prefaces his statement, scrunching his nose at the discourse he envisions in the future. Contrary to what the majority probably thought of him, he was still tidier than most people and mindful of the people he shared a dorm with him, especially a room. There was only one exception, but he wasn't getting a character letter from them if he ever needed backing. "Everyone has their quirks, but I'm actually really easygoing. I'll give you an update in the future with my roommate's honest review!"

"Woah, is this another floor?" He comments, rushing up the stairs onto the second floor to reveal another living room area with a kitchenette. He briefly shows the bathroom, the large bedrooms, and even the oven. He didn't even want to estimate how much the apartment was going for with all the amenities. "Do you think there is a hidden elevator?" He jokes, pushing the sliding door to feel the cool air of Fall hit him in the face. "We even have a patio to scream at the top of our lungs. I don't think our neighbors would appreciate my ritual, but it's freeing so don't knock it till you've tried it."

"I think my favorite thing about moving to a new dorm is how the sound echoes." He sets down the camera on the counter, taking several steps back to showcase the sound reverberating with his footwork of Back Down's chorus. "It'll be fun to test the soundproofing of the apartment when all of us are here. Alright, I should stop fooling around and start unpacking." He shuffles back to the camera, getting up close and personal with the camera to show off the dimpling above his cheeks. "Thank you for coming along with me. I'll reveal more of my space when I get it the way I want! Until next time—"

[animehouse-moe]

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End Episode 1 - Lots To Take In

Bit of a crossroads here with Frieren for me. I'm a huge fan of Satiou's work, and I love Madhouse when they're at their best. But I'm rather critical of some of the aspects of Frieren and it's somewhat overblown popularity. That said, there wasn't any way I was going to miss out on this insane 2 hour special episode, and it's left me with a lot to talk about! Considering the insane length of 2 hours though, I'll try to keep it as short as possible.

Alright, first things first, it's just downright beautiful. The environment art is nothing short of incredible and is a huge upgrade over the manga. People talk about Frieren's art being "beautiful", and I can agree that the characters and some of the environments can be really pretty, but I never really thought of them in the way others did. But with the anime, I see it now. The incredible beauty on display, especially with the dedication to detail and beauty with interiors and buildings.

Next on the list is colors, or I guess direction (?) as Saitou really likes using the sky to apply negative space for monologuing with characters. A really interesting idea that works great, but one that I was surprised to see considering how little we see of Saitou's interest/penchant for faceless characters. Of course, you'll see faceless background characters but never any of the leads.

How about animation, then? It's interesting. It's not really anything that will make you marvel unless you're looking for it. The big moments are there from time to time, but by and far the focus is on providing detail for everything, even the smallest moments. A little seed rat running around, or the splash from a shot hitting a puddle. Character acting benefits from this detail a great deal, and is the most important piece in the sense of animation. Just look at this sequence. Incredibly simple, but also incredibly important as it gives viewers something to understand the characters by. It's not just the words of Himmel that are extravagant, it's his movements as well. Heiter isn't just an alcoholic, but the kind of guy that struggles to be serious. Then there's Eisen and Frieren, both of which are denoted by their distant and stiff interaction during the conversation. It's a piece that was sorely missing from the manga, the ability to connect with these characters in the present, as a viewer. To better understand their personality and get more time to feel out how they act.

Time, that's a good segue. The pacing in this special is phenomenal. I will always, always talk about how newer mangaka tend to try and rush things to get their points across, attempting to speed along to deliver the punchline or reveal. Frieren is somewhat similar in that regard as the manga wastes no time going through the motions. Here though, we have 4 episodes worth of content, or a little over an hour and a half. That covers the first volume and 3 pages at most. To put it in perspective, most anime will adapt about 5 or 6 volumes of manga in a 12 episode season. At Frieren's current pace, it'll adapt 3 volumes in 12 episodes worth of content. And that's what it needs, the time and space the explore itself, to further flesh out, examine, and understand the world and its characters. A great example is Himmel's funeral. It removes the stone-faced Frieren crying scene and replaces it with something far more drawn out, something far deeper. It's not the fact that Himmel died that upsets Frieren, it's the fact that he's gone and she can't learn anything more about him. The fact that he is buried in the ground and will not be able to answer her questions or spend more time with her. It's a far stronger and more emotional depiction of the sequence than the manga.

However, not everything is as perfect as I wished for it to be. The past is the main focus of Frieren, though I suppose its intended goal is to highlight the importance of the present through the past, but the manga's approach denies that facet of the narrative. It's flashback central where it uses Frieren's previous journey to contextualize and explain everything.

And this is where one of the best changes actually happens. Heiter recants the story of finding a young Fern all alone and on her own, where he talks about how it was Himmel that inspired him to take her in. In the manga, it launches into a flashback where Heiter idealizes Himmel, but I'm so very glad that the staff behind the sequence understood the potential better. Instead of the flashback of Himmel, it focuses on Heiter's self-deprecation using Himmel as a comparison. How who he is is weaker than Himmel. And that because of that, he feels the need to try and be more like him now that he's gone. It's not "the immortal Himmel is the greatest person ever", it's "the man that was better than me in every way is gone now. I feel worse for it, so I want to follow in his footsteps.". Also, very cool little piece of direction that draws viewers towards the conclusion that Heiter himself detests his own drinking habits (and that Fern is most likely why he stopped drinking).

Like I said earlier though, this is both the best change and an outlier. The further in the story continues, the more it normalizes towards the manga. The pacing is still great, but the flashbacks increase in frequency and duration past this point. Which is disappointing because of what the past is.

It's the past. It's immutable, impossible to change or experience once more. It's ever distant and fleeting, but equally so close and memorable. The amount of flashbacks ruins the delicacy of that past. It's no longer something lost, no longer something that cannot be seen again. And it feels like a waste. What's the point in the past being the past if it's featured so often in the present?

Perhaps the most frustrating example comes from episode 3 where Frieren and Fern are having a fancy dinner and musing over what to choose for dessert. Fern makes an assumption that Himmel had made in the past, so we launch into a flashback about Frieren not knowing people. The sentiment behind the story is valid and important, but the execution is painful.

The words overlap, the sentiment and importance does as well. Why then, would you not explore the potential of layering past over present to have Frieren address Fern as well as Himmel to show how she's growing from her past and current experiences?

To summarize in broad terms, the inclusion of the past isn't bold enough. It's plain, and that plainness is, well, plain to see. It drags things down and weighs on viewers and the flow of the story (not to be confused with pace).

And that's where I end my commentary. Madhouse and Saitou are doing some truly incredible visual work, and showing they have the potential and ability to take the manga and make everything better. However, at times they lack the boldness and confidence to tackle some tougher concepts. We've got a whole lot of time with this series though so I'm very excited to see what they attempt to do with it.

[gumballavocadoharry]

Drinking:

The pressure of being in a fast paced world overcame you like an inconceived tornado, striking through the night. You soured at tense feelings of inadequacy you felt from a day to day perspective; feeling angered at the sight of seeing yourself in this mistake and waste of human being, not being able to come forward to anyone of your downfalls out of fear of rejection or indifference. A path you knew all too well, after the many failed attempts at a call for help.

So you bottled it up. But at the price of feeling an unusual aggregate amount of disgust and utter hatred at yourself for being a cowardly and revolting version of the people you swore you would never become. But despite the struggling mindset, and the misunderstanding of the right words to say, you weren't like them in the way you thought....but you didn't put in work to better yourself either. Instead, numbing every sensation of cramped emotion with glass bottle full of poison.

The summers were shooting fast. A backhand of cool air hit your face as you laid in the path of the air conditioner in your bedroom. The breeze was good, but yet your mind was still burning from the immense thoughts that clouded your memory of only the most cynical dreams, that overshadowed peace for you. Not even your boyfriend Harry, could sense the tenderness from unhealed gashes that would open themselves up and bleed.

After all, it was hard living a childhood with a narcissist.

But you were here now. Safe. Not really. Your mind was dungeon that you wanted to free yourself from, but lacked the confidence to do such. So there you stayed in your self imprisoned sinkhole, that only you could take yourself down. Grabbing another bottle, you goose stomped downstairs and out the door.

You sat in your car, calling Harry, waiting for just one single reply hoping it might cajole yourself from what you were about to do. But nothing. So....to the bar it is.

One drink, two, three, four......lost count. But I guess you would when you start to feel dizzy and then your head hits the cold wooden floor. Your eyes flickered only a couple hour later in a hospital room.

Upon opening, you now realize there are Iv's in your left arm, and Harry's hand in your right. His gentle fingers, caress your hand patiently, almost like he had waited days for your eyes to open themselves. "You passed out from alcohol poisoning," You heard a raspy small voice say. You rolled your orbs, to see a furrowed eyebrow Harry, staring intently at his little failure.

Your wizened mouth opened to speak, hoping something other than bitter dryness would escape. But instead, tears fell to the side of your eyes, drooling on the pillow. You prepared yourself for the sharp skewer to impale you like a kabob. Your lungs shook with fear, pity and death all at once. The patheticness of knocking in death's door due to your own stupidness and victimization of being trapped, despite the light being at the end the foreseeable tunnel.

"Are you alright yn? How do you feel?" You shook your head, shamefully wanting to pull the plug right then and there. "I don't know," You swallowed harshly. "Stupid, washed up, dead.....yeah, dead." You slowly close your eyes, still not being able to look into Harry's. You could feel your power slowly leaving your body, not being able to question why Harry was even here in the first place.

Getting yourself into trouble was just the start of your downhill....that is at least how you felt. It wasn't until your boyfriend's amiable touch to the forehead, sent you into a cascade of sappy sobs. "My life is over," You cried, allowing your tongue tied muscle to retract into only the silent meaning behind those tears. Harry just held you close to him.

"It'll be okay yn.....we'll be alright."

[str4ng3rdanger]

I'd love to hear more about the lighthouse au, even if it's just little tidbits and headcanons

okay so since this au isn't as developed as others i will go over a big thing and if i think of anything else to add then i will after

so i imagine that wash pleaded to caboose to help him of all people to get maine out the water after grif comments from on the ledge about seeing thrashing in the water below (because it pains wash to have to think about maine struggling to not freeze and drown in an arctic ocean like christ man) and he knows caboose is one of the more simple and sympathetic of the bunch, and it works.

with a strong grappling hook (considering they are by a base of sorts/if they were told to find power sources there may have been other equipment around), caboose keeps hold of it while wash retrieves maine, who initially struggles until realizing that this is his only way to. not die. and once he is back up, he is finally brought to a point of injury (stabbed, shot, nearby drowned, winded, and probably close to receiving some negative effects of the cold) where he can't exactly retaliate any further, and so the reds and blues manage to tell the personnel who show up that maine died and they wanted to personally deal with his remains when really bro is tired and they're getting him out of there. then they go back to valhalla and the character development begins!!

after all, maine has to either backstab the very guys that could have left him for dead with no clear ai in any feasibly easy sight, or he could take advantage of the fact that he is currently out of wherever he was before and has the vague support of the people around him. so, he decides to try and cope with literally everything going on - he has been doing nothing but chasing down things and killing for the past long while, and he is still trying to get used to not having other voices in his head directing him. i imagine caboose is the first one he befriends because he is entertaining and maine doesn't have to so much of anything to get caboose to talk about something random and fun. this leads to tucker taking the time to randomly stumble on a conversation (which are entirely one-sided since maine doesn't talk) and starts adding to it which leads to tucker becoming something of a friend to maine, and then tucker and caboose plan a thing to get maine and wash to talk to each other because even though wash had come up with the plan to save maine, i imagine they had avoided each other since making sure that maine was alright. they reconcile and things are pretty light-hearted for a while.

they antagonize the reds, which leads to red team getting used to maine as well, and all of them start to bond really well by the time carolina finds them.

now THAT, i imagine, goes very interestingly......but the post is long enough for now!

little side things:

considering doc was at valhalla when they got back, i imagine he had to help maine. wash probably stayed by maine's side until he regained consciousness (as he passed out on the way back to valhalla)

caboose loves to tell stories about church to maine, and encourages him on the fact that "church will forgive you when we see him again" when it comes to the fact that maine was hunting him down (and is indirectly why church went into the memory unit). maine probably wasn't handling such topics well initially, but caboose actually helped him get better at handling any subjects related to ai.

in addition to the above, caboose has had a lot of ai in his head before - he probably was able to somewhat bond with maine over this. maine likes to imagine caboose's perspective with it and sees him in a sense that there is hope for himself, too, even if their experiences with a lot of ai were drastically varying. (caboose has technically had 3 in his head at once though, in the form of alpha, beta, and omega during bgc)

grif keeps trying to steal maine's brute shot (weapon) back, and so whenever the blues kick their asses and whatnot, it is usually what they make the reds surrender.

lopez and maine get along surprisingly well, mainly because maine doesn't say dumb shit and can't interpret lopez poorly or something, and maine thinks lopez is funny so he'll listen to him rant about the reds and blues and might not even know what he's saying but pays attention so lopez appreciates it.

doc says he forgives maine but is passive aggressive for a brief period before warming up to maine being around, which is. pretty fair. doc has definitely asked "did o'malley talk about me??" and he maine just. grunted quietly in response. doc decided that it was up to interpretation.

i love this au it is so funny and charming to think about 💕

[heystovepipeboys]

Hi Jess how are you? So I'm really curious about two of your wips heheheh. Can you tell us more about "Nix ruins parties" and "How to guide Tertius?". Btw you are SO SO creative omg, lots of love <3

hey, thank you for the ask and the compliment!!! very sweet of you ty! <3 I'm not too bad, very bored at work currently lmao. I just want to be writing 😩 i hope everything is going well for you too.

Nix ruins parties is a 5+1 format story about Nix misbehaving at a variety of different parties spanning from pre-war to post-war. I have a few sections pretty much finished and have currently been working on section v. may 1945, zell am see, austria trying to get some dialogue hashed out.

“Mm.” Dick made a non-committal noise. “Well, over here, anyway.” "Ah, the Orient. A whole new kettle of fish. "It's not over until it's over everywhere." "You wanna go, don't you?"  Silence.  "You do." Nix rolled himself up onto his elbow, peering at Dick's face. It wasn't really even a decision he had to make: he'd made it long ago. "I'll go with you." "I won't hold you to that. You're drunk." "Yes, very," Nix agreed. "But I still mean it. M'gonna come with you."

And How to Guide Tertius is a Sentinel and Guide au from Lip's perspective focusing on the different Sentinels he has to work with through the war until he and Ron find each other. It's one I've been trying to wrestle into shape recently to try to explain the au and get some better description into it. Here's a bit from the start about Dick.

"Sir, did you–" The officer didn’t like seeming vulnerable so Lip was careful to keep his voice neutral. Now he was close enough, he could feel the Sentinel's exhaustion, a low sucking pulse. There was something else there too, a hint of distracting sorrow that was undercutting the rest. Winters always kept his emotions clamped down, so it said a lot about how wrung out he really was right now. Lip wanted to reach out to touch him, grip his shoulder. "I can give you a hand, if you need it."  “No.” That low sense of exhaustion drew back fast, like an animal darting back into its den and out of sight. Winters didn't bristle visibly, but his voice was clipped. The set of his shoulders was stiffer. "No, I'm alright. Thanks for the offer, First Sergeant." Lip didn’t try to argue the point. A different Sentinel and maybe he would have tried, officer or not. With Sentinels, there was always a risk they’d lose themselves, get too overstimulated, startled or provoked into a spiral that dragged them down into their sense of hearing or touch or sight until they could only focus on the tiniest minutia of that singular sense and nothing else. Sometimes it could be an emotion that did it: rage, fear, grief. Guides were able to break through that spiral, allowing a Sentinel to focus in on them instead. An overloaded Sentinel was dangerous, liable to lash out or go catatonic, so Army training for Sentinels was particularly gruelling, drilling the men for hours – days, sometimes – exhausting them, trying to push them to their absolute limits. Boot camp had washed out a lot of Sentinels, and Toccoa had wiped out a lot more. Guides were given different training too, taught how to modulate their voices, keep a touch soft and reassuring, read emotions and body language. Lip hadn't had a problem with it, that kind of stuff had always come naturally for him, even as a child. The training just helped prepare him to do it all under fire so he’d be able to Guide a man through hell itself.  But this was Lieutenant Winters. Lip let it be. 

thanks again for the ask!!

Ask me about my WIPs!

[mad-hunts]

13. what do you think about OCs?

AHH, hello, @furiaei! thank you so much for the ask :D i'm going to try to get all of the munday ones i received a while ago, such as this one, answered today but i hope you're having a wonderful day so far. though let me just begin my reply to this by saying that OC's are honestly SO precious to me and i think that everyone who makes them on here is superrr talented, tbh, so i really don't get why some people wouldn't want to interact with them... and i say that because of some weird things i've been hearing going around here on tumblr that some people apparently don't like them. which, kind of makes me feel like saying ' UHHH, then why are you here? because the RPC is literally made up of OC's, you dingus, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with them. so maybe you shouldn't hold such a wack viewpoint of them??? ' but i suppose we can't control other people's actions and/or thoughts; only our own, so i'm just going to keep on doing what i'm doing and that is spreading the love for OC's on here!!

i mean, i have been creating them myself for a couple of years now and i just think that everyone who creates them always puts so much work into them, you know? and i love that SO much + i have really come to appreciate all of the diversity on here in terms of what kind of OC's you might see :D plus, it's just fun to come up with characters in your head that have these intricate storylines to them and the fact that there is a whole community of them around now is just REALLY neat to me, okok. because i used to be one of those kids who would make up fantasy stories and write them down + read them out to my family, or to my friends because i was proud of the fact that i had created something unique, though i didn't really have an outlet to use these characters in back then. so being able to be a part of a group like this means a lot to me as it sort of makes the part of me that's still a kid inside happy <33 and i know this answer of mine wasn't too long, but i just wanted to keep it short and sweet for now because basically, what i'm trying to say is this:

i adore each and every one of the oc's i've seen on here with all of my being + i unironically think the concept of them IS all that and a bag of chips in general. and that is something that's never going to change, because (and i say this in the best way) i don't care whether you're just starting out with creating OC's, or have done it for a while — you have CREATED something and that is worthy of being celebrated! anything that people create whether it's stories, art, poetry, etc. is important and adding it to this site does count as sharing it with the world... so, with that said, i think all OC creators should be proud because things just wouldn't be the same in the RPC without you and y'all add so many valuable insights + unique perspectives to aspects of humanity on here because writing is meant to mimic it. so yeah! if anyone ever tries to make you feel bad for having created an OC, screw them because i love your character/s and i think they're perfect just the way they are, alright??

now keep up the good work, y'all, and i hope you know that you guys are so inspiring with all of the storylines you have come up with ❤️ your presence here is definitely cherished as well as there will never stop being a need for good writers!!

[tenetikles]

Suddenly she felt a tug at her frame. She was being pulled onto the bed. The hands moved her limbs and body into position. Not really much resistance from her at this point. She was placed face down, a potion that she wasn't too thrilled on. She could still observe herself from the perspectives of those too, she could have turn it off but not knowing what was going to happen was worse than Knowing. The pillow under her head felt amazing. Her head felt like it was cradled, the bed felt as if it was going to swallow her. The hands dragged her arms outward nearing the end of the bed. Her legs laid parallel to one another.

“Alright, you get the bottom half, I'll take her upper body.” The drow handed her brother one of the jars and they weren't to work. The drow sat on Freya's back, taking a moment to admire the sight. Looking at her neck, back, and shoulders. The curves of her frame drew her attention, lightly tracing her spine, she flinched from the sensation.

The tiefling took a look at the curves of her lower section. The shape of her buttocks and where the thighs connect. The curves of her calves and the shape of her feet. Looking closer he was able to make out some worn portion of her feet. The heel and the sides. He guessed she hadn't been able to care for them properly due to their sensitivity, but it was a shame to see them like that.

Their thoughts filled her head, her face burned and their descriptions and the lingering eyes. She wanted to hide, only being able to dig her face into the pillow.

The drow started, liberally applying the contents of the jar on her back. Spreading it where she could. It had a watery feeling as it was spread along her back, sides and shoulders. Some of the hands had applied some of it to her arms and neck. Lifting the back of her undershirt to get her shoulder blades and everything in-between.

She stifled or at least attempted as she cracked immediately in her sensitive state. Muffled laughter could be heard as tensed up.

The tiefling began to apply his portion to her lower body as she screamed and laugh from the touches. Lifting a portion of her trousers and kneading it in. His claws, switching from tracing, kneading, massaging, or grabbing. Gripping her thighs and digging, making sure he got everything. Her calves squeezed and rolled. Her feet, covered, scratched and dug into.

Her body shaked and tried to twist from each touch, this led to several memories being leaked.

Her first time as a city watch, during a teasing session, they were practicing grabbing and disarming. Her attempts led to her being pinned, tears and hysteria echoing in the training room. All of her co workers learning of her weakness. Light grazes and unintentional grabs at limbs and body that toppled her instantly. They viewed her as a weakness and problem waiting to happen. Every interaction either on defense or offense she failed.

Another one, when in the barracks, she exposed portions of her upper body when changing. Some of them wanted to see how bad it was, others wanted to pull pranks. Light pokes causing her to jump and shriek, grabbing at her hips. Her arms restrained by her shirt as she was putting it on. They got her onto the bed, using its dimensions to their advantage. She tried to hold out, but one or too many spots under constant focus easily broke her. A domino effect of a collapsing frame. Her underarms and feet clawed at raw, her ribs kneaded into dough, her sides and stomach massaged into putty, her thighs heavily tenderized, her voice reaching high pitch.

She felt as if everyone knew how to take down. She was a good fighter, if a signal poke could topple you, could you still be strong?

Pranks after pranks. Rolled up in a blanket and her ears and feet teased, trapped by monsters who shared their interests. Ganging up on her during practice sessions, holding a limb out two or four as they tormented her. Squeezing so much out of her. Stripped of her armor, stripped of her pride, and left a crying fool.

But there were those that showed true affection. Those who treated her fairly, those who held her gently, those who offered physical help. They led to stifled laughs, foot and back rubs that exposed her even further but the intention was under kind motives.

The books pages rapidly filled with the memories and information, charts of her body being depicted and the stress levels they could endure.

The two and the hands had stopped but Freya continued to howl in laughter. The two watched on as she shook the bed. “She's led an interesting life, hasn't she sis?”

Freya felt multiple emotions going off as she remembered her trials. She fell silent after several minutes, only taking deep breaths to stabilize herself.

The solution had been absorbed nicely, not a drop was left. Her body felt warm and strange. Before she could clear her head she felt something at where her neck met her shoulders. She braced, but it didn't tickle. It felt pleasant. The fingers dug into the area and squeezed, rubbed and pulled. Her head sunk deeper into her pillow. Eyes closed only seeing what the two could. The hands at her neck were the drows. A second pair at her thighs, the tiefling. They felt heavy gripping one thigh with both hands. No twinge or stress. Just relief.

Her body felt heavy, but those two felt light on her. She felt their hands move from place to place, giving attention to her all over. Blissful, enjoyable, pleasant, amazing, these words flooded her head and theirs.

“Well we know she's enjoying this.” He grabs her calf, kneading at the muscles. Her voice asking for more as he goes on.

“Yes, that was the idea. Good to see it worked.” She focus on her lower back moving her hands up and down, her thumbs and knuckles twisting at tight spots.

Moans and sharp breaths could be heard. Both muffled and echoing in their heads.

Memories of past attempts but failed results replay in her head. “So this is what it feels like.”

Some of the hands disappear, giving her back some movement. Her body remains still unless acted upon. Her frame melted under their touch. Each part they took into their hands softened, and played to their movements. Her body limp and relaxed as they continue to explore every crevice her tension could be.

Her mind went blank for sometime, not realizing anything going on as she fell asleep.

Stumbling awake she found herself in a different position. Now facing upwards, she turned her head to see the drow caressing her head, but still feeling hands on her. Looking through the drows eyes her arms were being attended to by the magic hands. Even her hands were getting massaged. Her biceps getting attention, and her underarms slowly being dug into. An action that would drive her crazy was soothing, her abdomen had multiple hands pressing at it. Their tips sliding along her skin and their palms pressing into her. She saw the tiefling attending her feet. Her arches being tempered by his thumbs, the insteps being gripped by his fingers. Her toes, just being played with and flexed. She felt free.

“Looks like you enjoyed yourself.” The drow massages Freya's neck as Freya tries to speak. Her voice echoed in their heads, “why?” Unable to understand, the drow explains the treatment.

“After starting the book, they learned a bit more about her. Half orc, quarter elf, quarter dragonborn. The drow initially wanted to test her senses, but with the addition of the other mixtures she had to change some of the items. The candle releases a strong scent able to calm orcs and dragonborns in a rage, but considered pleasant to elves. The ear cleaning, to stimulate the sensitive glands elves and orcs possess. Elves become docile and sensitive, orcs become more sensitive to sound. Overstimulated orcs become easier to deal with. Eye contact from a spell I used to keep you more agreeable. Expiration of your mouth to stimulate your tongue after investing the food. Your senses were on high alert, all we needed to do was push with the solution, and you briefly are relieved of your ticklishness.”

Freya felt happy to be relieved if her weakness, but the word briefly stuck to her.

“Yes, it won't last. You'll have to be treated to this again. But this was the free sample.” her heart sank.

“You don't need to pay money or rather it wouldn't be accepted by us. Another option is what we'd ask for.” She questioned what more she could give them after all of this.

“Testing everything we can. In your sensitive state you'd make a great tool. You'd be treated properly, but you will need to be broken each time. Over and over again.” Her eyes showed disappointment, but this felt great.

“Also, you'd have to come clean about your arousal at your stimulations. We almost know how you get when you break. It's not just what you think, but your weakness does spark something in you if pushed far enough. You've pushed it further back each time to the point you need to be broken to experience it.”

Freya tried to deny it, but she sees a memory of when they broke her at the tree. Her face sweating, crying and drooling. Her body limp and fallen, but the feeling lingering from the experience.

Freya's face blushed as she felt that warm sensation again. Her voice echoed to the drow, “If I give in here will I be able to feel like this again or is this a lie?”

“No lie, just give in to your desires and we'll treat you right. You'll still need to act like things are normal at work, but here, you'd be ours to play with.” The drow pulled out a gag, shaking it back and forth. “What do you say?”

Freya eyes showed her hesitation, but she opened her mouth willing to give in.

Ooo the flashbacks were so yummy! I like a good gang tickling, especially when Freya is just overpowered by number over strength and getting tickled all over. I like the different descriptors. “Kneaded, massaged, claws, tenderized” was so good and specific I could see exactly what they were doing to drive her insane

And they went all out, too! No teasing. That was pure torture for her and my god her face would be runny with snot and tears and they can have all their fun but she is definitely not going to hold back like she usually does for the next training day. Make a fool of her! How will they do that next time when she gets them pinned underneath her shield?

Also one of my favorite tropes is someone getting stuck so 10/10. Rolling her in a blanket and tickling her is too stinkin cute. Not even her ears were spared!!

She would get annoyed at the drow telling her she’d use a suggestive spell for her compliance and it might make her less social again, unable to meet eye contact because she doesn’t like her head and will getting messed with

So the deal is they let her go and she comes back? Yeah sure, why not if it meant that they’d let her go.

She’d question how many sessions of this they’d need!

[rin-and-jade]

hey, hope I'm not bothering you at such a late time (in my timezone it's 12 am.) I'd like to ask, what could be the reasons to being frontstuck? all of a sudden our front went quiet and I was the only one in sight. thank you in advance.

Ah i was asleep when you sent this ask--hope it's alright if its rather late of me to respond?

Before i explain some things, make sure that you're aware that being stuck involve various aspects playing at once,, like couple of debuffs that is casted on you if i have to take it from a game perspective.

So far, i have seen a discussion that being stuck outside means there's some unfinished business--well i can agree with that, though it doesn't necessarily involve being all alone in that silence. My own theory is it generally stems from stress or mental clarity,, these two are different things that can generate the same issue, being stuck and alone.. as the main causation--it needs more than just stress to keep you locked outside sometimes.

For the stress, i have seen myself, my other part here and two friends that ever got stuck + completely alone. I got stuck and alone for a week because i wasn't coping well and kept holding on things that perpetuates the stress or life squeezing extra lemon. The other part, a he, had days of build up pressure from work until something sets it off, then the stuck-ness ramped up gradually from not being able to hear bits until it's silent + can't see innerworld. Two friends having similar cases of having unresolved trauma/conditions (such as depression) that slowly got worse as time went on, these things are usually more long term because its hard to face this themselves.

For the clarity, i think only i have the most prominent one,, just like how sleepiness through out the day shifts, so does with our mental clarity. Not resting well, or being bogged down (whatever drains you of energy, since being tired is also enough to cause this) and sometimes, from the natural level of internal communication you have--though thats all i know right now.

Please understand that my views can change because i am still researching as i know there are things i haven't known of! I really appreciate it to those who read and add more things from your pov as i really want to hear 'bout it, thanks.

- j