#wasn't entity sure how to format this one

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

toast man based off of THIS POST of mine

[vibingandsimping]

got anything for Ketheric or the Oathbreaker Knight by chance? 🫣

First time writing on my PC... formatting might be strange. I apologize now. I also can see my top followers? Shoutout to you guys. Not proofread... have a blast.

Ahead contains some content like smut and such.

Ketheric is an older man. We all know this. He doesn't have the stamina of a typical, younger man. That doesn't mean he doesn't try to keep up with you in both domestic activities and the bedroom. A lot of his time is taken up by governing Moonrise and overseeing his growing army. As well as assisting Orin and Gortash's plans for domination. His spare time is spent with you as much as he can! Whether that's doing something like a hobby of yours or his. One good feature of his is that he's always showing interest in your own interests. He wants to learn about you when he can. He'll make sure you get the finest food and treatment around Moonrise that he can assure. As far as the bedroom goes, he is similar to Oathbreaker in a sense. He doesn't typically tolerate disobedience or brats. He is too old and tired for that shit. He will come down with a harsh hand if you disrespect him in any sort. Now, he is older so it takes him a little longer to acquire an erection. He admires your form just like any other but he is seasoned. Ketheric doesn't get hard just from seeing someone nude. He needs a more seductive dance (whether that's you actually actively seducing him or engaging in some lengthy foreplay). Once both you and him are proper and ready for the more intimate acts he knows what he is doing. He treats you like fine porcelain (but he's not afraid to scratch it a bit) and focuses on your pleasure for the majority. Honestly, it can be hard wrangling him from between your thighs at this point. You'll have cum to his mouth and fingers a minimum of twice before he's even entering you. Cock aching and his chest heaving with your spent over his lips and beard. His thrusts aren't particularly bruising but they seek all your sensitive spots with such ease it's mind-melting.

Oathbreaker is a different story. He is an immortal entity so I don't believe he physically ages. He does age mentally, though. The knight has been alive for too long to also take shit. He won't regard you if you're a normal person. Only way to garner attention is if you're an Oathbreaker but... we all make sacrifices, right? It wasn't intended to meet him when you first broke your oath. The shame washing over you as the world darkened and a figure filled your vision. Though, the longer he spoke and... sympathized(?) with you the more it seemed alright. He stuck around your camp so you stuck around him. Somehow, you two ended up creating a bond of sorts. He was full of wisdom, more-specifically about your paladin nature. His ominous aura, deep voice and distinct features were attractive. When he hears wind about your attraction to him? He has a blast with it, honestly. The next time you talk to him he makes relentless comments. About how you're attracted to a being of another realm. A man who has seen nearly anything and was the first to break his own oath. You're about a puddle before he shows any of his own interest. It's been awhile since he's had a toy... and a toy you are. He regards you as if you're a dirty being. You must repent to him for going against your oath- for finding him attractive. What would your god think? I am unsure if he has... parts. He will fuck you with his fingers and the hilt of his sword, though. He takes his time with it and eases you into everything. He is a consent king beyond it all. Constantly asking for reassurance in subtle ways. The sex is less about his pleasure rather than dominance. To see you fall apart and break under his touch is pleasure enough. Kudo's to you if you find a way to make him cum!

[veliseraptor]

October Reading Recap

I read kind of a lot this month, mostly as a product of the holidays meaning I had a lot of time where I (a) wasn't working and (b) wasn't online and also there was the fact that I was (c) depressed and desperately trying to keep myself occupied at all times to avoid slumping into a pit of nothingness.

so this one's kind of long.

Listen for the Lie by Amy Tintera. I need to read more mysteries again. I had a lot of fun with this one - I am always a sucker for books that play with multimedia type formats (movie scripts, podcast transcripts, etc.) and while I've fallen out of the true crime circuit it was fun to watch the ways in which this book was playing with it.

The Tangleroot Palace by Marjorie Liu. I've read all of Marjorie Liu's comics (and loved them) but this was my first time reading her prose. Short story collections are always hard for me to assess, since I very seldom come away from them feeling in any way uniform about the stories within, but this was a rare short story collection where there weren't any I didn't like. There weren't standouts to me in the same way that, say, Monstress stands out to me, but they were all solid.

Pine by Francine Toon. Picked this one up sort of on a whim as a horror novel and I don't feel like it quite was, in the end, a horror novel. It was good - quiet and a little eerie - but probably not one I'd pass on an enthusiastic recommendation for.

The Daughter of Doctor Moreau by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. With the possible exception of Mexican Gothic I've been decidedly underimpressed with Moreno-Garcia's work, and this book was not an exception. I was excited about it! But maybe that's partly because I was hoping for more horror than I got. But then again, it was billed to me as such, so I'm not entirely coming from nowhere with that.

Seven Surrenders by Ada Palmer. I think I liked this book more than I liked Too Like the Lightning, but that might also be because a lot of Too Like the Lightning was setup/catalyzing for events that actually happened in this book. I'm definitely going to read the rest of the series and this is another one where I want to read, like, literary analysis of these books, or discuss them in a group, or something, because they're doing some very interesting things that would be fun to cogitate on more deeply than I feel like I can do just on my own.

Alien Clay by Adrian Tchaikovsky. I didn't like this book quite as much as I've liked Tchaikovsky's other work, in part because I felt like this one got a little heavy handed/didactic which is the fastest way to turn me off a book. But I'm maybe more sensitive to that than I need to be, and I think the question of...is-this-meant-to-be-horror-tinged-or-not means I'm going to be thinking about this one moving forward. It's no Children of Time but I continue to be a Tchaikovsky devotee.

Horror Movie by Paul Tremblay. This book was bad. I mean, it wasn't the worst, but it also wasn't very good at all, and felt like it was leaning hard on the movie script format gambit as a way to mask how thin the book as a whole was.

The Book at War: Libraries and Readers in an Age of Conflict by Andrew Pettegree. I was hoping for a book more about the content of books as they relate to war and wartime propaganda, but I probably should've read the subtitle more carefully, so that's on me. This was much more about books as a material object and libraries as an entity during wartime, specifically mostly during World War 2 and the Cold War. Which was interesting, but not as interesting as I hoped for.

Black Mouth by Ronald Malfi. Another horror novel - I've been meaning to read this one for a while though I'm not actually sure I remember what put it on my radar. I think Malfi is an author I've seen around and this was a book where the summary sounded vaguely interesting to me, so I marked it down as a title to give a new-to-me author a go. While my feelings on this book are sort of mixed - the way it wrote its disabled character in particular had my eyebrows twitching a little - I do think I'll be trying more Malfi.

Long Live Evil by Sarah Rees Brennan. Remember this post? Yeah, it was about this book. I'm not proud it made me cry, but made me cry it did. On the other hand, I'm (a) astonished that it references MDZS for inspiration but not SVSSS, though maybe that's because the author was afraid it'd make the ways she was cribbing from SVSSS too obvious, and (b) this book actually did have me when it settled down into being serious and cut some of the goddamn quippiness. Look, I'm not entirely opposed to a good quip. They can be fun, and I think I get what they were conveying in terms of character (that the protagonist wasn't really taking things in the "fictional" world seriously, up to a certain point), but they can also be very grating. On the other other hand I probably will be reading the sequel, unfortunately. So you know. Mixed fucking bag.

Leech by Hiron Ennes. I read a fair amount of horror this month and this was one of the standouts specifically because of its initial conceit and how that conceit was developed - which I don't want to say too much about because I think it's stronger to come into this book not knowing much about it.

Silent Reading (Mo Du) by Priest. It's not the cnovel that caters to me most personally that I've read so far, but it might be the best one I've read so far, if that makes sense as a distinction. The character work, the dynamic between the main characters, the tightening noose of the core mystery...I really liked this one, and definitely plan to go back and reread it. Might bind it, too, we'll see. I should finish Qiang Jin Jiu first.

Lady Hotspur by Tessa Gratton. I understand why Gratton didn't have Hal kill Hotspur in the end (as in the play this is drawing on for source material) but it definitely weakened the book, in my opinion, that she didn't. It would've been much stronger, narratively, if also a lot sadder. But ah well. Would've been absolutely slammed with bury-your-gays discourse. Anyway, I liked The Queens of Innis Lear better but I didn't dislike this one.

Winter Be My Shield by Jo Spurrier. I am very excited to read the rest of this series, which @mongooseland turned me onto by doing art for it. I don't know that I'd endorse it wholeheartedly for everyone - in fact, I definitely wouldn't, for one thing content warnings for heavily-referenced if not explicitly shown sexual assault - but I'm personally into it and looking forward to reading the next books, which are going to be difficult to find, alas. I have adopted a new terrible boy from this, if anyone was wondering.

Solaris by Stanislaw Lem. I feel like I did not understand this book and probably need to read some analysis of it to get a better sense of what was going on. Makes me wish I'd actually read it for the book club meeting about it, since maybe someone there would have a better idea of how to dissect what it's doing than I did.

Oracle by Thomas Olde Heuvelt. I didn't like this one as much as I liked his other two that I've read - it felt more action/adventure and less horror in a way that appealed to me less. It was still good enough that I'm glad I read it, and I'll continue to follow the author, but I was moderately underwhelmed - though, to be fair, that's more by comparison with his other work than it is comparison with other horror I've read, which it still outshines.

I'm currently reading Catching Chen Qing Ling: The Untamed and Adaptation, Production, and Reception in Transcultural Contexts (that's a mouthful) alongside rereading The Last Unicorn. Might try to finally finish reading Golden Witchbreed by Mary Gentle this month, finally read Cassiel's Servant by Jacqueline Carey, and maybe read one of the short story collections sitting on my shelf (The Way Spring Arrives and Other Stories, possibly). New Remnants of Filth volume and new Monstress (speaking of Marjorie Liu) are coming out this month, so those will probably make it into the rotation too.

taking mystery/thriller recommendations still, if anyone has any! I'm generally pretty good at just feeling my way around in the fantasy/sci-fi and nonfiction spaces, but I've got no idea where to start when it comes to other genres.

[mists-reading-nook]

Prologue

The official prologue is finally done! I'm so happy to start this fic officially. As of current the plan is to post a chaper of this fic every Friday on here,and every other Friday on Ao3. So the fic will be mostly done here,however it may be more detailed/longer over on ao3 due to it being easier for me to format it there.

Thank you all for your patience as I slowly grind this out as best I can.

Kaeya found it first. He didn't know how he had gotten there, or why he was there, but he was alone in an empty room with only a desk. A desk with a strange book sitting on it's surface. He had opened the book,not really knowing what to expect.

Whatever he had expected, it for sure wasn't the contents that lay within the book. It spoke of other worlds,of a false sky,of people who treated this land like a simple game. It spoke of code,of control.

Keaya went crazy in that room. At first,he refused to believe it was real. But after what felt like days and weeks trapped in this hell,all he could do was read the pages of the book,over and over and over again. It taunted him. With its pages filled with information he had never wanted to know.

Now that he knew,he couldn't go back. This world isn't real? He isn't real? He had begun to wonder what was truly real and what was not. Was this really the truth? If this world isn't real,than what is?

He questioned his supposed "freedom",he questioned his relationships,he questioned his own past,and his own future. What did life mean? If he wasn't real,if he wasn't free,than what was he? What did he stand for? What did he fall for?

These questions were all he thought about. These questions would be all he thought about for a very long time.

Kaeya leaned against the bright wall of the room. He stared at the book,it's pages taunting him from afar. He didn't understand. He wasn't real?! His entire life was a lie. Everything he had gone through,every achievement,was just a lie. His mouth became numb as a bitter taste overflowed his senses. It matched the way he felt about this entire ordeal. Bitter. Bitter about his life,bitter about this world. It was all fake. His "freedom" wasn't real. He was just a puppet for some entity that wanted to play God. He wanted out. He wasn't sure how he was going to do it,but he was going to escape.

Keaya pushed off the wall and walked towards the exit. He took one last glance at the book before leaving the room. He was ready to leave. So he did,leaving the room that had caused some of the worst internal torment that he had ever faced.

He emerged back on Tevyat with only one goal in his mind. Escape.

When he was finally let go,those questions plagued him for a long time. They lingered in his mind,never leaving,always the front and center of his thoughts.

Soon after he had managed to leave,he had been controlled by a strange entity. They had puppeted him around,using him for various tasks. At first he hated the entity. Despised it even. He hated the way they had taken away his free will, hated being controlled.

He hated how he couldn't even talk to the other "vessels", because they didn't seem to remember being controlled. At that moment at least. After a while however,as more joined him in awareness, his hatred seemed to to fade into pure apathy. While others worshipped you,worshiped your very existence,he simply ignored you. A part of him still hated you. Still loathed having to be hyper-aware of when you would control him again. A part of him still hated how he had to make way for your unpredictable schedule of control.

Now,however,he preferred to pretend he had no idea of what this world truly was.

How he hated you. But he couldn't make anyone aware of that fact. Because,unfortunately,you were his only chance at escape. You were his ticket out, and he'll be damned if he lets this opportunity slip away. Kaeya was going to leave this false world, one way or another. If he had to die,so be it. If that was the price to pay for freedom,Keaya was willing to pay it tenfold.

It had been weeks. Although it felt like it had been months.

Weeks since he had started to look for ways to escape,and he had found absolutely nothing. It had taken him so long,other people had began to realize the control of the entity. However,they didn't understand. The all praised the thing,calling it a God. It made them stronger,they said. Its presence felt warm. That's what they told him. Keaya knew that they were coping with the forceful seizure of their freedom,but they didn't have to lie to themselves. He didn't understand what they gained out of fooling themselves like this.

His life had been turned upside down with a single book. He wished he'd just ignored it. What's worse,he had begun to feel these strange symptoms.

Massive headaches that enveloped his entire head with pain,nausea,dizziness. He had gone to a doctor,but to no avail. No one could figure out what was wrong. He also began to have these vivid dreams of a life that wasn't his. They were only little flashes,but still,they were prominent. And vivid. He was basically experiencing it.

He tried to live his life as normal. But he couldn't. He had been acting differently and everyone knew it. He had begun showing up to the Favonius headquarters late. He had developed awful eyebags,and he was getting worse and worse at being observant.

He spent every night searching for answers to lead him out of this prison. Then one evening,as he headed home from the tavern,the pain had come to a head. He fell to the floor,clutching his forehead with both hands as he clenched his teeth. The pain was unbearable,like someone had crawled into his skull and set his brain on fire. His eyes watered,and he couldn't see anything. He stumbled back to his feet,wobbling towards his house.

Every step felt like he was impaling his feet on rusty blades,every sway of his body made the invisible flames engulfing him burn brighter. His throat was starting to burn as well,as if someone had poured acid into his mouth and forced him to swallow. When he finally reached his door,he leaned against it,fumbling to find his keys,almost dropping them several times.

When he finally was able to get in,he went straight to his bed and collapsed onto it. He had managed to power through the pain,but his body couldn't take it anymore as he fell unconscious in his bed. Somewhere,far under the ground you and I walk on,a rope snapped.

Then he woke up.

In a bed that wasn't his own.

In a house that wasn't his own.

What the hell happened?!?

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

He woke up completely disoriented. He blearly looked around,realizing that this wasn't his home. It was a place completely unfamiliar to him. He got up to his feet unsteadily,carefully looking around. This was the place from his dreams��that meant…

He was free!!

Kaeya Alberich,previously stuck in a fake world,was now free! Finally able to do whatever he truly wanted. In his glee,he passed a mirror. He backed up to get a better look at his reflection.

Oh shit.

This wasn't his body.

What was he going to do? He had to live as this person now. Although…they looked just like the person he was in his dreams.

Maybe this wouldn't be so hard.

After doing some exploring,learning about this unfamiliar (but real!) world, the first thing he did was destroy the devices that the…entity had used to control him. He had grabbed a large book and smashed it to bits in blind rage. All he had to do now was figure out how to live in this strange new world,in a body that wasn't his.

…and what he was going to do with his new found freedom. Freedom!! Keaya squealed a little at that thought.

After so long living a lie,Keaya wasn't really sure how to live the truth. He would figure it out though. He always did.

It was strange at first. Figuring out how exactly he was to live as someone else,in a world completely unlike his own. He got used to it quickly however. Work,friends,family. All of them were easy enough to get familiar with. It only took a little observation,and that was one thing he specialized in. Sure,the people in his new life were a little suspicious of the sudden "change in behavior",but it was easy enough to deter them from digging further. It was also quite hard to deal with the constant comments about things this person had done in the past. 'I forgot' had become Keaya's new favorite saying.

He'd been living like this for months,in peace. That was,until he heard a knock at his door.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Straring back at him were the cool blue eyes of his own body. Keaya stumbled back,a scowl painting itself on his face.

The one in his body,however,had began to panic. "Who are you?? And why are you in my body??" They had began shouting,and from what keaya could see,they had begun hyperventilating. As much as he didn't want too,he pulled the person inside,shushing them.

"The neighbors might hear you." He said harshly. It felt odd looking at his own body like this,and it felt even weirder to scold it. He sat them down on the couch,grabbing a chair for himself and putting it across from the couch,sitting down on it.

They sat in silence for a long time,the person beginning to calm down a bit. After a long stretch of uncomfortable silence,Keaya spoke.

"Explain." He demanded,narrowing his eyes at them.

Their hands trembled,and they were hesitant to start. But a glare from keaya had them talking. "I-I woke up in Tevyat,in your body." They peered up at him,and he nodded for them to keep going.

"I…it took a while to adjust to the new world." They gulped,seemingly fearful of keayas gaze."I believe I never truly fooled anyone,and it soon became too much." They said,pausing again to look up at keaya,who simply glared at them to remind them to keep going.

They continued on. "So…I ran. Your vision was already seemingly dead,as I couldn't really use it. So I left it on the desk in your office and took off into Mondstadts wilderness with the excuse of going to patrol the area." The imposter eyes glazed over as they continued to speak. "It wasn't easy. I didn't know anything about defending myself,and it seemed like everything was out to kill me. A bit after I had fled the city of Mondstadt,I stumbled across a large,scary entrance to a domain of some sort. I knew it was a bad day but…" the imposter looked at him with that mile yard stare. "I had to do something. So I went inside. That was the biggest mistake of my life."

The rest of the imposters story was a blur. Keaya learned things he never knew,things he never thought he'd know. But the most important thing was that They had escaped. All his research had gone down the drain,because they had managed to do what he couldn't figure out. It didn't matter though,because now they sat in front of Keaya, in his body. They had explained it all,from how they faked "his" death to how they had escaped through the Abyss. All that work,just for them to escape through the one place he never thought to check. How ironic.

He didn't want to let them stay. He pushed them right out the door and told them to find their own way. Keaya was really tempted to just kill them. No one would know anyway.

…however,he doesn't want to end up in any trouble. That would mess up his carefully curated new life. So he couldn't kill them. Great. Justtt great.

But then they came right back and simply begged him to let them stay. The annoying little thing simply wouldn't leave him alone after that. He could've just kicked them out,but… a part of him grew fond of them. He didn't want to throw them out. And as he grew closer to them,he realized that his hatred was misguided to an extent. He still didn't like them,but he realized now that they had no way to know of the suffering he had to go through. Whether or not they cared was a different story.

However,life was good. He was happy with this arrangement,to a certain extent.

If he could go back,he'd tell himself to escape while he still could.

Nothing bad was happening.

If he had known what would happen to them,he would have gone back.

He was well adjusted.

Everything that happened could be attributed to his selfishness.

What could happen to ruin this? Keaya really couldn't see anything bad that could happen.

That was his first mistake.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

[vaalthus]

The Star-Eating Serpent, The Hyperhydra (speculation)

With the release of the most recent inn bosses this month, we now have confirmation that the Hyperhydra faced in the Forgotten Beasts challenge board is not the serpentine creature being referred to in the Empress' recounting of Atealan history and is instead a very ominous single-headed green snake entity.

If I'm being honest, I find this design of the creature to be rather appropriate as the color of its skin, along with the greenish gas flowing out of its nape, would seem to suggest the entity's scales are either coated or made of Trithril, the mineral that was present on the homeworld of the Atealan people.

The genius of this design is that it explains why and how such an otherworldly creature is capable of devouring stars to begin with.

As explained by Ra'Ta and Eirn, Trithril is capable of acting as a protective layer for things traveling through environments that produce magical radiation or harsh magical conditions such as the rifts, the Void, and the Mana Core.

Being either made of Trithril or coated in it would offer the protection this otherwordly beast would require to travel space and devour stars without having to worry about the danger those stars pose. I imagine it would also make traveling space easier as well.

My confusion in trying to piece the mystery of how this animal operates is that I can't begin to picture the reasoning behind its feeding. The Empress tells that the TSS was a devourer of her children, yet this seems to only have taken place after the beast took notice of them sometime after they established their people's culture, possibly meaning it hasn't been hunting and devouring them since their infancy as a species.

Furthermore, the serpent is known to be a devourer of not just stars but planets as well. Now admittedly, this designation of being a 'world eater' could just tie back to the fact that the snake was eating the life on worlds that the Atealan inhabited and therefore them as well. However, I would like to posit a theory that the Star-Eater wasn't eating the Atealans, as well as any other life that existed alongside them, specifically but rather the actual planets.

In the objective card for this otherwordly creature, it is outlined that it fed upon the power of both stars AND planets.

The implication here that the planets it consumed had a power worth devouring to begin with. The question here is what? I believe the answer to that is simple: it's Trithril. You see I believe that the serpent was seeking out worlds rich in minerals potent in Trithril so that it could devour stars safely afterword, as well as be protected by other forms of magical radiation. As a consequence, it's scales would be either coated in Trithril or eventually turn into Trithril as it continued to eat more planets that contained the mineral.

Now a terrifying theory here is that Trithril is a mineral only the Atealan's were capable of producing which leads back to the Empress' claim that the serpent devoured their children, the Ateala. Meaning the snake was specifically eating Atealans or at least seeking worlds where they were present.

How exactly Atealan do this I'm not sure, likely ties back to their connection to cosmic energy and the stars, but if so it kind of means they would have always been in danger of this serpent hunting them throughout the cosmos no matter how many worlds they fled in the past, until its recorded defeat by Unael Anohrin of course. Unless of course the death of Atealan can lead to formation of Trithril which if so, well that's kind of dark.

On a side note, I find it curious that the serpent has the same exact golden ornament attached to its head as the Atealan Standard helm:

Not sure if it means anything but it is an interesting detail.

Speculation on what the Star-Eating Serpent was consuming exactly and why, it's existence does bring up one important question:

WHAT THE HECK IS THE STORY BEHIND THE HYPERHYDRA!?!?!?

No seriously for the longest time this three-headed monstrosity was like the only candidate to point to when guessing what serpent was being referred to in the Empress' song, but now that thought-process is dead in the water.

At the time, I could see why it made sense to make the connection to the Ateala, what with the title of being an Eater of Stars alongside that all too familiar blueish starry theme its got going on but now I'd like to make a new guess.

I now believe that this forgotten beast may have been a creature that was or is present in the overall Elemental Plains. Now that seems like an odd guess to make until you look at the background behind it.

I can think of only one other place where we saw two celestial bodies, one black and the other white, orbiting one another.

The very top of the Exaltia Tower where we face off against the Engineer and see the Exalted Artillery cannon. A place that was very much present in the Elemental Plains.

However, if this true, what then are the small stars being referred to that the Hyperhydra apparently consumes?

Normally, I like to not be so presumptuous that gameplay completely translates to lore, at least as far as the inn is concerned anyway, but I do wonder if the hydra's ability to cycle through all eight prime elements to attack could or does answer that question given that the prime elements have been referred to as "stars" before and have even been given that imagery, at least symbolically anyway, in the Engineer fight. But again rough speculation at best.

Ah but I believe that concludes my thoughts on these serpentine beasties.

[meepsthemiqo]

Random Meeps and Vauthry conversation.

((Literally just typed this random thing out on Discord so apologies for formatting. I just decided to post it here.))

"Do you ever miss it?" Meeps asked, staring out over the railing at the ocean.

Vauthry stood beside her, now a man, not the carbuncle she knew and lived with. He stood with his arms out, eyes closed and head tilted slightly back. He was trying to remember what the sea breeze felt like.

They were in Eulmore. Or rather, an approximation of it. It was a dream, conjured by one of their minds, or a mixture of both. Neither were sure how their connection worked, just that it was.

"I believe so," the former Lord replied after a moment of consideration. "Truthfully, my memory of my life here is hazy at times. As if the memory of the man I once was is fading, leaving only the sineater remaining."

Meeps wasn't sure how to feel about his response, nor what it meant. Vauthry could read the confusion on her face and so continued: "I am still the person that you know, do not worry. I believe the 'Vauthry' that lived in Eulmore, died that day atop Mount Gulg. What you saved that day is what remained."

"Then that means you are…the sineater?" Meeps spoke her thought aloud. It would make sense when she thought about it. She had siphoned off his light in order to save him. She didn't consider at the time that Vauthry the man and the sineater within him were two separate entities, yet shared the same memories.

Yet the more she pondered his words, the more it reminded her of her previous state. She had harbored a shard of Elidibus within her since birth. He was much a part of her as he was a different soul. He had shared all her experiences and memories.

Yet the man before her now claimed his memories of his life as Vauthry were fading. Did that happen to Elidibus once she returned the shard to Themis?

"You're distracted." Vauthry remarked.

Meeps looked up to see the world around them warping and shifting as her thoughts strayed. "Sorry…" She apologised. He didn't need to say the words to know what he was thinking.

You're thinking about him again.

Instead, she focused on the man in front of her. Or rather, the Sineater who took the form of a man. He was as close to a marble statue as one could get without actually being one. Tall, beautiful, pale, flawless skin, pale eyes. The most striking part (outside of his otherwordly beauty) was the waves of golden hair cascading down his back and past his shoulders. Like individual strands of solid gold.

Of course, this was a dream. Truth be told, Meeps could not remember if this was an accurate representation of the Sineater she had met atop the mountain, or just an idealised version of him that the two of them had conjured up. Vauthry had been in the form of Innocence for less than a day before he had been struck down.

"Should I call you by Innocence now then? Rather than Vauthry?" she asked.

"Vauthry is acceptable. It is the name you have always given me, I see no reason to stop."

[abstract-crossverse]

so i heard you're taking doors requests... wiggles eyebrows might I request possibly Ambush x reader fluff thingy?? this is my first request so sorry if its weirdly formatted LOL

Might as well answer these both in the same post soo sure! and youre good, the format is just fine lol. I'll do headcanons for this one to get a general grip on Ambush since I just started writing for Doors

and I hope you dont mind but I headcanon Ambush as male(he/they)- I know a lot of people see them as female so just letting you know preemptively More under the cut cuz this was long again

===========================

Ambush x Reader [Headcanons, fluff]

-> While it may not seem like it- Ambush is one of the most patient entities in the Hotel, with his speed if he were to be constantly patrolling the Hotel as his brother does- he'd come up more often than not bite a chunk out of you

-> His strategy is usually to stalk "Players" until he finds a moment he feels you feel safe enough, to then shatter that safety to pieces as he comes screeching sounding as if a car engine and a broken vacuum had a baby- then do a couple run backs through the room you're in to see if you slip up on the timing you get in and out of the closet

-> So you can imagine with you it wasn't any different, he stalked you around after you got out of the Library and left Jeff's shop. he was a bit intrigued by how far you've gotten, then again, many others survive up to 100 and go down that elevator only to wind back at the Hotel's Lobby

-> Though you were... different, I guess you could say, he didn't know how to describe it too well, the way you marched door after door, collecting money from drawers and desks- you seemed determined to get out of here, and he's seen you a few times before, you look familiar, and he's not one to forget appearances easily. he found it.. charming, to say the least, you looked so determined to leave you'd be willing to go through this nightmare again and again? He'd applaud you if he weren't trying to be sneaky

-> Then again, many others had a similar determination, but some didn't come around too often, sometimes taking months to be even spotted walking through the halls of the Hotel. but you, you came frequently. he wasn't allowed in the lobby unlike Timothy, Sally, and Seek's Crescendo(which in reality is just Hide warning his brother of where the Players are and how close they are to Seek), and none of them really mention it at all so his guesses are those people just hang around there doing whatever until they decide to run through the Hotel again

-> And since you caught his eye, you are prompted to either feel like you're being watched a lot or have Ambush come a bit more often than he usually would- which makes you joke that he's pissed off at you or get annoyed about it

-> As time went by, and a lot of him watching you from a distance- his interest in you grew into a desire to actually meet you, know who you are, your interests, your likes, pet peeves, so on. You barely bump into other Players around the Rooms and Halls you go through due to the Hotel's nature- you enter an elevator alone and it's going to be just you and you alone unless the Hotels falters and shoves you with someone else you may or may not know at all. he has no idea how the real you is like since he's only seen small comments or curses you throw at certain entities like Screech or El Goblino if you even stop for a chat

-> And so for the past few times you passed around he's been trying to muster the courage to go talk to you or ambush you when your guard is down in hopes he can catch you for a chat. He's kind of socially awkward with people he knows dont like him or have never directly talked to him so it's a bit of a struggle for him- then he ends up just impulsively charging at you, which of course prompts the little 'game' every player does to avoid him in response

-> However, on one particular day, you slipped up. you entered the closet too soon- and Hide wasn't in a good mood that day, Ambush ran the first time to the door but before he could bounce back to the previous rooms, Hide pushed you out, you hit the floor with a soft 'thump' and a groan as Ambush stood there in shock. he looked at the closet as Hide's arms slithered back into the confines of it, then looked back down at you, who had the same expression of shock and terror as you stared at him with wide eyes, face softly lit by the green and purple light he emanated. you looked beautiful...

-> You both stood in silence before he moved slightly toward you, making you close your eyes and brace yourself, waiting for death... but death never came. You opened your eyes again when you heard footsteps hit the carpet.. footsteps? Ambush doesn't have feet- peeking from behind your arms, you were shocked to see.. Ambush, but- with a body-... waht

-> He wore a light cream-colored button shirt with a dark green vest and pants, black dress shoes along with a light green ribbon to top it off. behind his head, you could see slightly translucent tentacles that seemed to mimic hair? they glowed within the darkroom along with the same.. matter making up Ambush's neck, was that what caused the glow he emanated when he bounced by?

-> He was crouched in from of you, both knees on the ground as he hovered a skeletal hand over your shaking form.. you didn't even notice you started to shake. He attempted to speak- though only his signal yell sounded for a brief moment, making you wince since he was so close to you. He cleared his throat, seeming to avert his eyes to the side briefly as his mouth closed side to side- which made sense but it still looked weird to you-

"are... are you alright?" his voice finally came through, it was hoarse and a bit scratchy, as if he'd screamed his lungs out yesterday and lost his voice, which again- makes sense with how he screams, it had a hint of a Boston accent too

"uh....-" you were speechless, wondering if you were in a dream, and even in a dream you can't escape this place? damn. he read your confused expression and averted his eyes again "it's... hard to explain.. yknow- this?" he motioned at himself "but we're not exactly corporal, so it is possible for this to happen.-- anyway- Hide- pushed you out pretty hard-..."

He offered a hand for you to get up, you stared at his hand, unsure of why he was trying to help you, you dont know if you can trust him- after all, as far as you know he's tried to kill you. "... why... why are you helping me?... aren't you supposed to have killed me by now?" you asked, fixing sitting up from the ground a bit, Ambush looked a little apprehensive, his hand twitched slightly away

".. I- I know it may be hard to believe but... you interest me.. you caught my eye, and I wanna learn more about you." you sat there confused at his words "why me though?" the room fell silent, only the faint buzzing from his form barely hitting your ears as he looked at the ground, seeming to think about your question, he shrugged a few moments later "... I can't.. explain... you're just-... interesting."

-> after that little moment, you walked to the other room that was lit so you didn't run the risk of getting yourself bit by Screech and just- talked, about anything really, though most of the conversation was you asking questions about him and the other entities, after all its not every day you get to have an actual conversation with one of these beings that usually are out to kill you. though you still expected this to turn out to be a dream, you expected to wake up in one of the beds in the hotel or back in the Lobby

-> After that day- you half expect things to go back to the usual normal of the Hotel, Rush zooming by, Screech occasionally being an annoyance, the usual. But you were surprised by Ambush tapping your shoulder at Door 2 on your next run, scared the shit out of you-

-> And it's been like that ever since, he'd tap on your shoulder every time you came back around the first 15 doors and accompany you through the rest of the run- aside when it was dark rooms, Seek's chase, or the Library- anything that involved other entities that could see him with you- he would just- vanish until you got passed them... he didn't want to risk being isolated for talking to a Player instead of killing them.. the others could even understand a little if he explained well but- if Jack got hold of that information... he might be as well as dead again

-> You've begun to enjoy his company, you'd joke around and talk about things from before you got stuck in the Hotel, and he'd occasionally drop some of his lore as well- though he doesn't remember much from before he became Ambush

-> It wasn't long before he realized he'd gotten feelings for you, love, that was it, he remembers the feeling but he didn't even know if he could still feel it... glad to get that uncovered- now difficult if going to be Confessing his love for you. as I said, his social skills are kinda below average- so it takes him a lot of hyping himself up and chickening out to figure out how to confess... meanwhile with you- you were so incredibly confused about how you fell for the alien skeleton looking entity in the first place, maybe it was his voice or the way he was so kind to you? you really didn't know-

-> The day he confessed was a day like any other, you both sat in the garden before the Greenhouse, the rain a little less aggressive than usual as it hit the roof of the pathway, sitting towards the statue you heard other Players theorize could be a representation of the Guiding Light. At the moment he was sitting beside you listening to you tell him about the mentioned theory, he softly gazed over your smaller form, resting his head in one of his hands, a smile curling up on his lips as you chatted away about theories you and other players have come up for the hotel

-> Soon you finished talking, finally looking up at him to see his reaction as you had been looking everywhere but at him as you talked. a sudden feeling of warmness overtook his body, feeling as if butterflies fluttered around his stomach the more you stared at him, as much as he wanted to look away as he got more overwhelmed with that warm, fuzzy feeling- his body made no effort to glance away, he wanted you looking at him, he craved your attention.. he wanted to hold you, he wanted to love you

-> "... god, I love you...." he blurted out, not even realizing what he said until your face grew red, then his face just glowed in a green blush, he tried to explain himself but all attempts were futile since the more he tried to speak, the more flushed he got. Eventually, he just sighed in defeat..

"... there's no out of this one... its- its true- [Name], I love you, I really do... you're just- I can barely even explain- you're perfect in every way I can think of, your voice sounds heavenly, your quirks are incredibly charming- you're the most amazing person I've ever met... I understand if-- if you dont feel the same but- I needed to get that outta my chest.." he sighed, looking at you with eyes that pleaded with you not to hate him, not to snap at him with insults and 'why would I even like a monster like you?', though he still braced for the worst

though surprise hit him full force "I... I love you too, Ambush-... I... I do, I really do..." you looked at him softly with a small smile, you spoke a bit more- feeling as if you needed to also express what made you fall for him the way you did, even though you struggled to put it into words- he only looked at you with bewilderment

You heard a small... rumbling sound, like a purr almost? but not quite at the same time, you trailed off, trying to figure out where the sound came from before you realized- it came from Ambush, you were about to ask about it but before you could, he gently leaned his forehead on yours, purr growing noticeably louder as he nuzzled into you, wrapping his arms around you in a hug

he thanked you, so many times, he sure sounded happier than ever before right now, you chuckled, wrapping your arms around his neck to hug him back. you sighed contently, I guess now you two were a couple.

-> And now for dating headcanons because I took too long on the meeting shit

-> He loves being in your presence, hanging around you or so much as knowing your in the next room over counts I guess

→ He's not the biggest on PDA but its often that he'll at least bw holding your hand at times in public or stand pretty close to you in general. He does get flustered really easily if you give him kisses when he doesnt expect it or is in a public setting

→ Speaking of Public, he told Rush about your relationship at the very least, and he was ecstatic, his bro finally bagged someone? Color him surprised! He didn't bag shit. Actually- a little too excited- he told most of the Hotel next you knew... Minus Jack, Jack doesn't get to know of it. None of you know what he'll do to you or Ambush if he knows..

-> Some support your relationship (such as Rush, Screech, Sally, Dupe, Jeff, and Bob), others are apprehensive of it but if it makes You and Ambush happy then so be it, they'll try to remember your face and not kill you too brutally if they can help it- (Seek, Hide, Figure, Eyes, Halt and Goblino), others dont like the idea at all either because they think it's too dangerous or you shouldn't be together in general (Guiding Light and Jack(if he knew) respectively)

-> But you bother are happy with each other and aren't going to break up any time soon I'm sure

-> While he does run very fast for a decent period of time- Ambush gets pretty bad fatigue once he's done, which is why he usually appears once and fucks off for a while to rest up after so- usually if you're not going through the Hotel and is just chilling in a room somewhere he's likely to join you for cuddles if he's not with you already, sometimes this man will just refuse to get up to hunt other Players if you're already cuddling

-> As much as he's the most logical and... less energetic between him and Rush- he's just as stubborn. need to get up to continue your run? 5 more minutes with him, cmon you've done this plenty already, take a break. need to go over to Jeff to buy some food cuz you're hungry? nope, you just stay there, Ambush will get it for you- AH AH- stay there, he'll be back in seconds. Want to go check out what the Rooms are all about-- Do Not. Please. No. Don't go there.

-> He's very touch starved and at the same time touch repulsed- only very few even get to tap his shoulder without him flinching away and getting upset at them or getting straight-up killed(if you're a random player with no links with him), so if you want to give him Physical affection- tell him you want to(at least at the start of your relationship), it's fine when he's consensual about the contact or initiates it in the first place. Later on, he gets more comfortable with you and he'll accept you initiating contact without needing to ask all the time

-> He also enjoys laying on you when cuddling as you gently caress his face or his head, it fills him with so many butterflies you have no idea. and he'll return the favor in kisses and do the same to you when it's your turn to lay on him, also give him kisses while holding his face in your hands, and he will melt /pos

-> He's also very attentive to detail, he'll remember the tiniest of things about you and your likes and what you dont like and use that to get you gifts from either players he killed that had something you liked or random trinkets he thinks you'd like that spawn around the Hotel at times

-> He's also very interested in fashion, he knows quite a bit about color theory and clothing combos so if you dont know what to wear, he's the guy you can count on to help you. Just give him a general vibe you're aiming towards and he'll do his best to find good options for you around that. He also learned how to tailor outfits with Glitch, the perks of being one of the oldest entities of the Hotel, he will make you an outfit do not test him

-> Remember when I mentioned the tentacle thingies on the back of his head? yeah those act like hair, they feel smooth and a bit rubbery and act like how Splatoon hair works, you can cut it, braid it, tie it up, anything- it has no pain receptors so he wouldn't feel pain if you cut it or tied it too tight, though it still kinda moves with his emotions or just idly

-> He loves you a lot, and he's glad you choose to stay with him. he promises he'll try his best to make you happy :]

===========================

[hikuswing]

Commissions Open!

Hello!

I am offering Isometric room concept art. I did this one and someone suggested I make a post offering this style of commission. I wasn't sure anyone would be interested, seeing how it's so ecclectic, but I'll offer up commissions anyway.

Does your OC have a room or office?

Maybe you need a detailed throne room or dungeon for a background or reference?

Maybe you want a starting image for an indie game to show the inside of a house/hut/store?

Are you a Vtuber who wants some adjustable appropriately layered props for rigging?

Maybe you just want some fancy isometric environmental art to hang in your house?

Well look no further!

Samples:

Each item is a separate entity (layer/group) allowing you to reorganize the file as you like or highlight individual items. I can also add in callouts and diagrams if the item calls for it.

This one is in a sci-fi (star trek) style, but I am also comfortable with high fantasy props/items/characters.

Slots Available:

[Open]

2. [Open]

3. [Open]

I'm going to open commissions for a full detailed lineart room box at $100/USD, 3 slots.

I can also offer smaller vignettes of items--key items, personal affects, what your character carries in their bag--for $30/USD. I can manage three more slots for these.

Slots Available:

[Open]

2. [Open]

3. [Open]

Turnaround time for any piece is approximately 2 weeks. Finished pieces will be delivered digitally, 300DPI (ideally) in the format of your choice (if possible). For Live2D uses, please let me know ahead of time os I can arrange layers accordingly for rigging.

If you want full color or full render, I can also offer that, but it will be on a case by case basis and will depend very much on how much detail is in the setting. That will basically double the price for either style.

I prefer to do payment through paypal invoices, to protect both you and me, but I will consider alternate methods if there's a need to do so.

I can add a character into the scene, but that will cost an additional $40/USD.

Furries, OCs, Fandom Characters all welcome. While I am not opposed, any NSFW elements are subject to my discretion and must be discussed before payment, please.

If you want to add in additional items to your piece later, you are welcome to do so, the price will be much less. Around $10-20/USD.

Please DM me or reply to this post if you are interested or have any questions! I would be happy to tell you anything you want to know!

[saintastaeroth]

Tell us more about warlord Strahd?

The party encountered him in a dumbwaiter with another paladin who is unbelievably the justification of true good. He fell through an apparatus accident being pulled from his timeline, by the evil machine and dropped off here, he's trying to get his baring, and he wants to go back, but the party want him to take over the role instead of the evil strahd. He's handsome and gives a non-toxic option for PCs and makes things wildly fun for my party, who love making things WORSE.

The background understanding of Strahd I have and the homebrew way I took him, was the following:

He's a Prince and Heir Apparent to King Barov, and follows the trend of his father's before him of being warlord kings in mostly untamed lands where environment changes all the time, we know there were probably lost golden ages, and the existence of City States (especially Holy ones) mentioned in the Ravenloft 5e module, and in CoS a reference to an Empire called the Holy Empire of Valentia, suggesting the existence of an earlier civilisation collapse, new states starting to form, and national entity becoming a popular theme, the warlord era was coming to an end, and conquering was the newest trend (think the collapse of the Roman Empire, and the formation of the Holy Roman Empire, the Byzantine Empire, and any other smaller nation gaining ground), Lords own castles, and lands need renaming and control to form countries. Other nobles Will ally with others to promote as a King or Ruler (hence King Barov) and help support the lands as a noble council (think Boritsi, Dilisnya, or the city state of Vallaki whos barons belive they are desendants of royalty), and so Strahd was a Warlord Prince, constantly fighting in his father's name for a country that would turn into an Empire, we even know that Barovia wasn't always called that and was captured and fought over by the Tergs (older edition mention to the ottomans) and next door to Gundarak which ended up being annexed between editions, becoming the capital of the empire strategically. But since this was years on from his younger years, at the age of 20 he's probably had a few successful campaigns, but Barovia would be a foreign land to him, and landing here, being told your only a count, you killed your brother, and your a bitter undead monster. Understandably, a proud and young man who is a strong solider and probably has an angry disposition from bloodshed will want to destroy this older weakness, like how the Count Strahd will view this young version of him as a irritating threat that will be easy to squash.

Also as a Dusk Elf fan it gives me the opportunity to have a strahd that respects their ancient culture before he is ordered to take the dusk elf lands and destroy it on his father's orders, and meeting his blood brother Rahadin who hates his people, and makes sure there was a genocide.

[bayoudeathradio]

xxx. h̴̟͝e̴͖͂å̴̜d̴͚͝c̶̖̽a̷̡̎n̸̫͠ǫ̶̀n̶̢͂s̸̟̏ ̵̥̎(̴̼͛s̵̫͝ē̵̩t̶͜͝ ̶̼̚t̵̡̖̍w̷͚̜̄o̷̟͛.̸͉̀

Even within his own life, radio had changed quite a bit, never staying the same. In the beginning of the 20s, it was mostly block programming performed by amateurs and volunteers-- people with more passion than plans and eager to play around with the newest technology. By the late 20s, national networks had already moved in on it. For Alastor, he got his start through a bit of noncommittal volunteering. A friend of a friend who knew a friend, who was a single entrepreneur rather short of cash to pay professional talent. He got more than he bargained for, to say the least.

Block programming is the superior format, beyond doubt. He doesn't like sticking to one topic, one demographic, or anything like that. The fun is expression is, importantly now, the variety— by the time of his death, things had already changed enough for him to hold his own opinions about the direction things were going in. The more consistent, unified, and uninspiring form of these major networks were, in his eyes, were lifeless attempts to grab and 'fix' that which wasn't broken.

He did not kill his father. Not for a lack of desire, though. His father just disappeared, or died or something like, that before he had the chance to; at least a few years before he even seriously got the idea to go through with anything. And seriously, I do mean he just disappeared. Drink himself to death in some alleyway? Ran off fleeing from some gambling debts? Well, who even knows? He was already grown up by the time this happened, and he didn't even realise he was really missing until some weeks or months had already passed. So, no, killing his father was not where this all began.

I was on the fence about how he picked his targets up until this point. I'd agree that he doesn't like to kill women, but I wasn't sure if it was more about sport or a bit more targeted or not. Upon looking up his name meaning, "... described him as the avenger of evil deeds, specifically familial bloodshed" and "the name is also used, especially by the tragic writers, to designate any deity or demon who avenges wrongs committed by men." Were the author to have made no comment, I would perhaps go with some of the later and more vague associations with a sort of demonic entity or witchcraft. However, given that the author has (it seems?) explicitly expressed this idea of him having a sort of motivation with it, combined with this being supported in the comic, I'm leading more to this idea, although I'm not yet sure of any details (and I still think it isn't so either/or at that, no matter what, I believe bloodlust plays at minimum an equal role in it).

[gaypiratebrainrot]

This is not so much a question as it is me screaming about the secret fic. Probably not for the last time.

I wanna talk about how you swapped the names of the actors with the characters they portray. Ok, maybe I do have a question--did the idea for the name swap come during the early formation of this story in your mind, or did that come later, after you'd been writing for a bit?

It's just--we so often lean on names in fanfic not just as indicators of identity but as stand-ins for/signifiers of intrinsic elements of entity*, so while it's RPF (but is it lol) it's also like you've set up this series of mirrors so you can't tell if you're looking at the projection or the real person

which also sort of begs the question, is it all a projection

and basically you're amazing because you do all of this within the recognizable structure of an explicit one-off fanfic, complete with brain-melting smut and an emotionally satisfying (if also 'unhappy') ending. I can't even.

*See end of this interview https://krauseessayprize.org/winners-2/mary-ruefle-interview/ with Mary Ruefle where she talks about identity vs entity; see also every fanfic with the line "he smelled/tasted like [noun] and [noun] and something uniquely [NAME]"

Ok here's the quote from the Ruefle interview because I can't resist:

"Literacy is a blessing and a curse. Increased literacy means increased self-consciousness and we all know where that ends. Gertrude Stein once pointed out the difference between being an entity and having an identity: an entity is an entity but has an identity. An identity is bestowed from without, it is given to you socially. It’s your resume. But an entity is your being, and for many people, they have no entity without an identity, they confuse the two, and therein lies a great deal of anguish and suffering. Language and literacy are ambiguous because they invest one with entity at the same time they accessorize one with identity. That’s what I mean by being both a curse and a blessing. The moment someone learns to write their name, they become someone else, someone other than who they were before. A whole world opens, and a whole world closes. Who am I? I am one person when I am answering interview questions, and I am another person when I am alone on a plastic float in the middle of a lake. Which is the real me? Damned if I know. But the tension between the two creates my life."

ok first thank you so so so much for this incredible message and amazing quote, truly truly a gift to me.

the story of the conception of this fic: in the wild fields where fic ideas and masturbatory fantasies are not easily distinguished, my mind kept producing the rpf scenes that are now in the fic. i had very little interest in writing rpf (though i came into fandom through rpf and don't have problems with it), especially bc i knew there would be wank, but the scenes just kept coming.

so then i was like, okay, how far would i have to go to turn these scenes into an actor AU, and that was the slightly cursed day i asked myself "what really is the difference between a rhys/taika-coded actor au and a stede/ed-coded rpf?" i was too lazy to come up with the actor AU, and then the idea of just switching the names was really funny to me, AND THEN i was like but what do i call david jenkins, and sat on the floor weeping with laughter for a very long time at javid denkins, and the rest is now history.

one of the most fascinating parts to me is that i wrote it with their names being stede and ed, and then there was a stretch where i wasn't sure the meta aspect was working and almost swapped the names back (there exists a google doc where they are called rhys and taika). i had to grapple with feeling like i wouldn't have written it if i'd actually called them rhys and taika from the start, but that feeling is so so so interesting to me, cause like, damn, the power of a name!

anyway, i think excessively about the nature of identity, so this is just a bonkers great time for me to have folks engaging in the conversation that runs constantly in my mind <3 <3

[geoledgy]

how much has nonco changed over the years? have any of your characters gone through major changes?

It's changed quite a bit I think. Funny, bc I was thinking about this the other day...by major changes I would say in terms of plot and character personality/demeanor YEAH most of them had significant changes throughout the years. Design-wise they're pretty similar to their original concepts still. This is gonna be lengthy so sit tight:

I started compiling ideas for Nonconformity back in 2017, but this was when it was just a one-off character idea and not a coherent story. I had Jade for a while, I made him for an 80s superhero RP and he had crystal formation powers. I decided to give him some friends in his backstory so I went with a rock cycle theme for them & made Grant & Clay. It's always been intended that they were a rock band, and that Clay formed the band to impress his crush, though the idea of who his crush is has changed a few times. My brother created a character for that purpose: She was meant to be his crush since childhood, and Clay would find out she's a lesbian. The idea was that he'd accept it and move on but befriend her. Clay was my least favorite character back then and it shocks me so hard how quickly he became one of my top faves. Here’s concept art of the first time I drew Jade, and also Grant & Clay (Grant had a different name at the time)

In late 2017/early 2018, I played with the idea of a Battle of the Bands RP group for my friends. The idea was public school vs private school. The only character to stick around from this concept was Floyd, who would've been the frontman of a band from the private school. He didn’t have a design at this time, but his concept is pretty solid. A friend pitched some ideas of adding rock & roll demons to it, and that part of the plot would be that the bands played so intensely that they got sucked into a rock & roll dimension and had to figure out how to get back to their own world. This is where Riff came to be. The band with Clay, Grant, & Jade existed as its own entity still at this time (band was unnamed iirc), but the Nonco STORY came from this RP concept.

Later on in 2018 I took an independent study art course, so I decided to create an idea for a fake cartoon, so I took "Nonco" (Still not Nonco for reals yet) and fleshed it out more. I wanted to focus on the Rock & Roll Nightmare Dimension idea, so I tweaked Riff's design and made a band for him. I bounced some ideas around with my professor and when we got to what I wanted to title it, I wasn't sure what to call it. I considered something related to "Core" bc of the earth's core, so I further developed the idea that they live inside the earth, leading to conceptualization of Nonco's Mantle Dimension (for those who don't know, it's basically like the Nether from minecraft). I eventually came up with the name "Nonconformity" but even then I didn't think it fitted my project! I think think it was very fitting for Clay's band though, and that was when they got the name. I thought it'd be interesting to combine the project idea & the rock band together, mostly so that I could use the title "Nonconformity" for my project and that was what happened I guess lol

While that was going on, I was a part of another RP group, one that took place in the 90s. This was where I created Cal, I took an old character and completely rebooted him, & for his new design I was really inspired by some pink calcites I saw so I made him based on calcite. Gave him a whole tropical theme and everything. Putting 2 & 2 together, I realize Cal & Clay could probably share a universe since they're both rock themed (I thought they looked cute together) The funny part around this time is that bc they were constrained to the dates of their respective RP-verses, Clay was originally older than Cal by 2 or 3 years iirc. Their dynamic was also A LOT different. Clay was still the same grumpy guy and Cal the annoying flirty guy, but I had written that Cal had a crush on Clay, and that Clay gave him guitar lessons. Then Calsey happened and that idea with Clay & Cal never saw the light of day ever again.

In late 2018 and the entire duration of 2019, I started designing random rock characters to add to the universe cuz I thought that was pretty fun, and also they are really good for helping me remember different rocks & minerals for class. I believe this was when I came up with “James Hutton HS”, named after the “father of modern geology”. Here are some early designs:

I tried making all the characters connected to either Clay or Cal in some way, they felt like they were "main characters" & I realize how fun it was to write a whole story out. At the time, I still thought high school stories were fun to write because of the cartoons I watched so I aged down all my characters to be teenagers (I didn’t realize how restricting it was til later). I changed up the idea of Clay's crush, mostly bc if I wanted to write my own story, I'd want to use my own character so that I'd have full control. I began conceptualizing Juliet, I wanted a character that was opposite in appearance to Clay. Clay was gritty and rough, as a rock it is just dull. So his opposite would be a gem, or jewel. That's where the name Juliet came from (not to mention lot of songs in Clay's playlist mention the name "Juliet" so I thought it was very appropriate. The idea for Nonconformity now is that Clay meets Jules at a rock show (Rock Show - blink-182) & forms a band to impress him, but Cal is in the way with his rival band Carbon Dating. After watching Tenacious D The Pick of Destiny, I had the idea for Clay & Cal to each wield a guitar pick that was meant to be attached together. Riff became relevant in that he'd possess Clay to perform on stage because of Clay's stage fright. So now Nonco goes something like: Clay meets Jules at a rock show and wanted to impress him so he forms a rock band with his childhood friends, but his actual problem was he hates crowds. He accidentally summons Riff by shredding his bass, and Riff hands him a guitar pick that would help Clay out. He eventually comes face to face with Carbon Dating & Cal, the town’s most popular band, who challenges Nonconformity to a Battle of the Bands. The battle would get so intense that it tears space & time, and a portal to the Rock & Roll/Mantle dimension would open up taking everyone in. They had to find their way out.

Also Clay & Cal emerged in my brain but their dynamic is more insane now and what it’s like today.

Then I created Desmond. He was always meant to be a former love interest for Cal, but fell apart due to drama between the 2 (and how Cal’s guitar pick fell into Desmond’s hands). Researching more on diamonds (bc I knew jack shit about diamonds at the time) I learned how they were formed/brought to the surface and that further inspired how to write the falling out between Cal & Desmond (and Jules.). I’ve always hated diamonds, so I wanted to make the most messed up character ever, wanted to work with how unstable real diamonds actually are. He became the true antagonist of Nonconformity, at least for this version. He really wanted to get Clay’s guitar pick. To get like, super powerful or something. That idea was still very vague to me.

In 2020...where the insanity all truly began....a little before lockdown, was when I started kicking everything in Nonco into gear. I got a grasp of what Jules' design should be like, that his rock would be kimberlite (bc they carry "jewels" to the surface), and that bc he's part of the falling out he should have a history with Cal. I figured, if kimberlites are associated with diamonds, what if Jules & Desmond actually secretly worked together. Also worked on strengthening characterization of other main characters like Jade & Grant, and also Floyd (he was a minor antagonist at this time). I also did a lot of world building during this time. The lockdown gave me a lot of time & opportunity to develop Nonco, but also I was heavily pressured into making a webcomic about them, not something I was very enthusiastic about, but it did get me to develop Nonco a lot more. The story remained pretty much the same other than the thing with Jules. Think this was when I started playing with the idea that everyone loves Jules bc it’s funny to me.

Diesel also came around at this time as a guy who drives trucks and was probably a retired rock star. I began conceptualizing Desmond’s family since Diamond Records is own by the Adams family.

Around 2020 was also when I started having ideas for “Nonco 2″ taking place in their 20s bc there were a lot of ideas I couldn’t keep in Nonco that I still really liked, so anything I didn’t keep I just threw into Nonco 2 to work on later. Here are some very early ideas:

Made some breakthroughs in 2021. Unfortunately a lot of the fun stuff I did for this year is “spoiler” (idk why I mean that when I’m not releasing anything, but ig it’s just more private info I don’t want to share - it’s nothing weird DW, it’s just backstory stuff among the main characters that are very......OP sounding or more personal to me.) Made Floyd’s dad more relevant and he became an antagonist/major villain. Nonco was broken up into 3 parts at this time, without Nonco 2 (just existed as an epilogue) Worked on a lot of concepts this year. ALSO, many of the background characters ended up having their own story too, so Nonco is now just the main Rock Recs story, and other ones exist in the same universe.

The final Battle of the Bands even still seemed pretty unclear to me, I was struggling a lot with it. I knew Diamond Records played some big part in it. I did my final research for university on kimberlitic eruptions and then everything clicked for me. I made Diana (Desmond’s older sister) the CEO of Diamond Records and gave her a funny absurd reason on why she was looking for the guitar picks (reforming Pangaea) because she is also a mad scientist. Eventually I decided that she definitely had history with Diesel, and that he used to be signed under Diamond Records.

Currently, in 2022, I would say I did the biggest story overhaul due to some crucial parts being unclear to me or difficult to write, like the final Battle of the Bands and where Riff is physically relevant. I made Barry the main antagonist in Nonco 1, and split the story into 2 parts again. Riff is now cursed and trapped inside the guitar pick, and Clay either finds it somewhere or was gifted it. This changes the sequence of some things that happen early in the story, but it all fits nicely now. Also they send Barry to hell (The Mantle dimension) and that’s how Nonco 1 ends and wraps up pretty nicely. Nonco 2 is when Desmond & Diana reveal their true intentions.

This is the current line up of main/important and reoccurring characters in Nonco:

Pretty happy with it right now, more than I ever was in the past, but I’m looking forward to see what more I will develop in the future.

All of this sounds sooo serious but Nonco as a story is told with absurd/surreal humor and differs greatly from the backstory. Anyways...hope you enjoyed that, thanks for asking! If you have any thoughts just let me know

[bread--quest]

i'm going to be extremely biased and ask for dvd commentary on this section of how to read a map:

Somewhere in the desert, in the light of a supernova, two figures are dancing.

One figure has sunlight gone purple in their hair and sharp and shining teeth. The other has the static of a Dispatch in their head and smoke in their eyes where there once was fire.

They are rivals, but currently, they are not fighting each other. For one thing, many of the Suns are gone. For another, Scattering makes it hard to focus on any one thought too long. And the third thing, and main thing; there are more important things to fight.

A firetruck drives, full speed, into the Coin. A gleeful shout comes from the ship already circling her. She falls to her knees, cracks spreading across a piece of her golden facade.

The cracks spread across reality too, the nature of that "reality" becoming just a bit more tenuous, but presently neither team is concerned for that.

Presently, they are dancing.

YESSSSSSS YES YES YES YES YES!!!!! I LOVE THIS BIT okay. snippet from this fic!!!! still doing it in actual script commentary format because its fun

SONDER: Right, okay, so--so at some points in this, like I said, at some points it's talking about the teams as groups of people, and at some points it's talking about the teams as like, abstract concepts, and at some points it's, uh....I think here's the part where it becomes clearest that I'm visualizing some of this with the teams as actual entities, like, kind of...accompanying the players on the teams?

SONDER: So you've got the Sunbeams, as an entity. How do you signal that that's who it is to the readers? Well, teeth, obviously. And sunlight, except, they're Scattered. The Reader shows their claim on the team somehow, so the sunlight--I was imagining, like, hair that literally glowed like the sun, if that's anything--is now purple. And the Firefighters, I loved the idea of fire like...inside them. Fire is what they're fighting but it's also what they are. It's what their emoji is! [laughter] So, fire eyes, extremely cool. And then the Reader, the Scattering, smoke is the Scattering of fire. To me. But then I wasn't sure smoke alone signaled "firefighters" enough, so I added in the Dispatch. Which is such a cool concept, but--

SONDER: [deep breath] Right. So. The thing of this scene. I credit the Sunbeams with this one, honestly. First of all, I knew I had to get something about one of the Sunbeams rivalries in there, because that's such a quintessential part of Sunbeamness to me. And someone on the Sunbeams, at some point, said something about the Firefighters and the Sunbeams dancing on the Coin, and that image stuck in my head so much. The idea of dancing at the end of the world really...really sticks with me. I made a whole moodboard or whatever it's called about it once.

SONDER: So I'm seeing, like--here they are. They're dancing, in the foreground. And in the background, you can see the actual, like....[vague hand gestures to illustrate] the vehicles, crashing into the Coin, and you can see cracks spreading out from her but also across the sky simultaneously, because they're taking her down but also the world is starting to fall apart, and you can hear, kind of muffled, the cracking sounds and the cheering as they Scatter her, but the focus, the main idea, is that they're dancing. What's that one tumblr post? "Maybe the love didn't help...." In this case, I guess, it's like "maybe there was some violence (justified). And maybe we broke the world a little, and maybe it was already breaking, and maybe in the end nothing we did really mattered. But it still mattered that the love was there." And that's kind of the whole idea of the fic, which I think comes across really well in this scene.

[incorrect-quotes-from-she-ra]

Morning! I hope you don't mind if i give you yet another She-Ra thought I'm too damn lazy to post on my own. Also, it's long again. I WILL find that character limit some day.

So, we know the way Shadow Weaver raised Adora resulted, among other issues, in her being selfless to the point of self-sacrifice, which came to a climax in the Heart's failsafe business.

And it's been suggested that this was basically intentional on Shadow Weaver's part. Basically, selflessness is a very beneficial quality for others to have. My theory is that <b>her plan for Adora had always been specifically for her to someday use the failsafe and release all magic</b>.

(i will admit i am also curious how formatting works in this app. thank you for your help with these experiments)

So, evidence. Let's start with her name. I know this is a remake and they were stuck with the existing names, but there's a scene where Scorpia complains about it ("yeah i GET it, everyone LOVES you"), which constitutes the writers acknowledging its meaning, which makes me think it's fair game to analyze.

First, I'm obviously assuming Shadow Weaver choose it, as part of her ongoing parenting plan. It's also possible it was her original First One-given name, we don't know. Neither quite works because either she or Light Hope should have had some issues knowing what the name was and they clearly knew automatically. Really the entire series is weird in that everyone communicates with everyone else way too easily, and i will definitely rant about that someday.

For now let it stand that Shadow Weaver is the parent figure, it makes the most sense for her to pick the name, both in-universe and narratively, so i shall assume so by default. I have two things to say about that choice.

First, as we all have noticed, most of the princesses have names ending in -a. All of them, if you count "Glimma". It's never said to be intentional, but it would make sense. And then IF such a tradition exists among Etheria's royalty, it's not unreasonable for Shadow Weaver, a notable and moderately respected member of the land of knowledge, to know about it.

And then if she knew, of course she would take it into consideration when looking for names. Admittedly it's a little weird with the anti-Princess propaganda that the Horde has, but she doesn't really need to explain or justify this. Hordak has a very [i]laissez-faire[/i] attitude, and everyone else she clearly doesn't care about.

And if she knew or suspected that the princesses' powers were related to the Heart of Etheria, which i will argue for later, then giving her a princessy name is also adequately ironic.

The second name bit is that Scorpia clearly knows some Latin, but not enough. True, <em>adorare</em> means to worship and/or to love, but Latin verbs are more complex than that. _Adora_ specifically is 3rd person singular present indicative active. The translation would be "she loves".

Names aside, i want to talk about how they (we) learned about the Heart of Etheria. Castaspella doesn't know what to do, Shadow Weaver suggests they take a road trip to research, which she's reticent about but concedes is probably the best use of her time, and they find success. We don't know how long it took them, but i had the distinct impression that it wasn't very long.

Naturally, I'm suggesting Shadow Weaver knew all along, and led Castaspella on the trip to have an excuse for the inevitable "how do you know?". Also tricked her into thinking it was /her/ discovery, and maybe even that she was succeeding where Shadow Weaver had failed before, if necessary.

That's why she's so excited to share their results with everybody, and Shadow Weaver cuts her off, apparently just to antagonize her for fun, but I'm suggesting it was also because for her this is the culmination of a decades-long plan, and she wants to Get On With It.

It's also interesting that there was a mural depicting the Spell of Obtainment in the hallway leading to the failsafe. It was a reminder of Shadow Weaver's past, and an opportunity for her to show she regrets her results but doesn't repent from her choices, which i quite like actually. But I'm also saying that, meta-textually, it was a signal that she'd been there before, literally.

And then there is the potential in-universe connection, since we don't know what exactly the spell was meant to be obtaining. Power, for sure, and from what happened we're probably meant to assume it's tapping into some sort of demonic entity or dimension.

Fair enough, except that it never comes up again. And it's kind of a big plot point that Etheria is isolated from the rest of the cosmos, which may or may not conflict with it having a contactable "hell". Meanwhile there's the Heart of Etheria Project collecting all that magic, which Mara's allies (and their descendants) would know something about, have access to at least one backdoor to, and may well have tried to tap into its power at some point.

And then what went wrong may well be one of the defense mechanisms of the Project, though I'm admittedly veering into unfounded speculation.

So, a rough timeline. Light Spinner was always motivated to excel and craved power. She was probably always envied the princesses, who command greater magic than most sorcerers with apparently none of the study and practice.

She took to researching everything she could that might lead to power, eventually discovering the chamber with the failsafe, and presumably other information left by Mara's Friends, either in other chambers or in documents she's since removed. She would have learned a lot of things from this.

As i suggested, i believe she knew there's some connection between the princesses at large and the Heart of Etheria. Incidentally, i don't know exactly what that connection is, and in particular whether princesses were created by the Project or an existing phenomenon that the First Ones co-opted. But it doesn't matter, exactly.

What's important is that there's clearly a connection, more specifically a control system for the princesses and their magic, which is presumably related to how Shadow Weaver was able to tap into the Black Garnet's power. With Hordak's help, obviously, since she clearly believed it when he claimed he could cut her off at will, but he's later shown to have basically no understanding of First Ones' tech, so the knowledge must have come from her.

For the record, i would guess she thinks princesses are artificial, empowered both magically and politically to keep the planet in check, and that they would be depowered once the failsafe was fired. I also think that may be true, actually, since it almost happened when Entrapta was messing with the system, and if i recall none of them were shown to use any magic after Adora did fire it, while she clearly used Perfuma's power. But anyways!

Back to what Shadow Weaver learned, she would know some of what the failsafe does, namely disrupt the system that's hoarding most of the planet's magic, thereby spreading magic to all (most notably her), and some of how to use it, and the fact that she couldn't do so and hope to live, and some of the criteria for who can. That part is important.

But first, she also learned the Spell of Obtainment, deemed it more likely but didn't think she could do it herself, despaired of getting help until she thought Hordak's rise to fame would give her #casus belli#, lost her patience when the Mystacor leadership disagreed, etc etc etc. Pretty uncontroversial in this part, i think.

After she'd joined the Horde, when Hordak showed up with baby Adora and wanted to lump her with the rest of the orphans they have, Shadow Weaver pleaded to have her get special treatment. She even said that she's special, and it couldn't have been her leadership skills or good heart, since she didn't have either yet. It's heavily implied she could recognize her as a First One, but it's not clear why she would care, since they were known for leaving behind advanced technology, which a baby also doesn't have. Unless, of course, she knew there are devices only a First One could use, and maybe has plans related to that.

So I'm pretty sure she learned the criteria that the failsafe requires, devised some spell or technique to check people for them that she pretty much used all the time, just in case, and was very surprised when a newborn tested positive. She was also surprised when Hordak made her personally responsible for the raising of the kid, but her reaction is pretty much "ok, that could work, i guess".

Also also, i suspect she can read First One script. Not perfectly like Adora, but better than Bow's parents probably. Mostly because when she puts Adora's hand on the crystal and says "i think you know the password", that seems like a very transparent attempt to pretend she knows it too when she doesn't. But that seems irresponsible at such a crucial moment, she and Castaspella should really have researched it earlier. Or at least her line there should have been "you can read this, right?" or somesuch.

So I'm thinking it's a double bluff, hoping everybody assumes she doesn't know so she doesn't have to reveal how and why she knows, again.

And that's all i have, i think? This is not nearly as well laid out as i would like. But then, nothing ever is, right?

Also it's not even close to morning anymore. Thank you if you even got this far, and have a good evening!

hi!!! this took me a while to answer, i'm so sorry about that <3

i'm very low on energy today so i cannot summon up the brain energy to respond properly to this, as much as i want to, i'm really sorry for that as well

i love this theory!! it actually fits in really well with canon and makes, like, a LOT of sense now that i think about it. i definitely wouldn't have thought of this on my own, so thank you for sharing this with me!! :D

[reanimatedcourier]

I recently read your longpost about the uncomfortable racist commentary in New Vegas, and I by and large agree with pretty much all of it. However, I was a little confused about the fact that, as far as I could see, there wasn't much said about the fact that the "tribals" in Fallout and real-life tribes are two separate entities. Iirc, the Fallout tribes are essentially Mad-Max-esque groups made up of many different races, including just plain old white people? 1/?

2/? Obviously, this doesn't excuse the uncomfortable narrative connotations, because even if the Fallout tribes were originally just groups of random people, they still serve as metaphors for real-life tribal groups, and that's kinda fucked. But, I wanted to know if you had any thoughts on this particular method of New Tribal Group Development. is it better to use pre-established groups? is it possible to make new ones respectfully? would love to hear your thoughts on this

I finally have time to answer this. :D

I think what snuck up in the development of earlier Fallouts (and, New Vegas by extension) is the tendency to homogenize cultures of people who aren't white or upper class. The closest mention I'm aware of is Chief Ranger Hanlon recounting the story of Caesar and a group of tribals called the Blackfoot. Who, despite sharing a name with the real life tribe, apparently have no relation.

An argument for intent versus impact could be made here. The developers probably didn't wake up one morning and go "boy, I sure want to stereotype cultures today!" But even if they didn't intend to do that, it still happened and had an impact both on Indigenous players and other people who played and didn't question the offered viewpoint.

I would say for information accuracy it's best to use tribes that already exist. With that, you have an established culture, language, traditions, clothing, beadwork, etc. You'd know where they live, who they allied with and what their traditional food sources looked like (moose, bison, seal, whale, you get the picture).

I'm going to speculate for the last bit here. From a historical perspective, massive events with widespread effects that can fundamentally alter ways of life do lead to the formation of new groups or nations. I have just described contact and what came of it. A nuclear apocalypse would be exactly that sort of event. This is also my personal opinion and other Indigenous people are allowed to disagree with me, but I do think there would be ways to respectfully combine an Indigenous culture with elements of a different one.

Again, the key here would be avoiding homogenization. You can't slap two together and call it a day. How would the language be structured? Would they use different tools for weapon or jewelry making? What do they use now? Do they adapt a traditional food from one culture to the other? Which culture and language is it? Did they form through marriage or was one group adopted into the other?

Regarding the language question: Michif, for example, is a mix of Plains Cree and Métis French, with loan words from other Indigenous languages.

However, trying to plot all of that out yourself would be an absolutely massive undertaking. So, groups that are already established would probably be best for this, since they will already have information available.

As I said, this last part is just my two cents.

[aolmer]

This is a short story about a person who is in a mental struggle with betrayal of friendship. It is up for how you want to interpret it. It is meant to express complex emotions that I think many people have but never claim or admit. I hope that by reading this it makes you think. I apologize for the weird format spacing but I'm not retyping all that on my phone and for whatever reason it won't let me put the paragraphs where they should be I did try. This is my first post and first short story I have ever wrote. Ok let's give it a go!!!

The Story's Tale

How funny it is, yet so heartbreaking to know. I wish I knew the whole story in advance. I did so very well, I tried, but I ignored it. My perception had blinded me; lost, I was wholly withdrawn and vulnerable, forever ignorant to its separate plot and focused solely on me.

My story tells a new but old, familiar tale. My own accord, it's always been just about me. I'm living each day by dawn and dusk, somehow always failing to see the plot in it all. I think you see it all so clearly - and you always have, silently blending in the shadows - but everything is just a blur to me. The vision of a perfect ending that I've longed for, my reflection in the mirror has since turned black.

Is this why you are so familiar to me? How did I not see it? Why was I so

foolish over who you are? How could I ever be anything that would show you something different? You saw it all along, so why did my novel bring you to read past chapter 1? You followed others when you knew the truth and saw the light; I could offer you nothing, yet you still remained by my side. I guess our curiosity will never end and we always have to know, but knowledge is half the battle when you can't answer things about yourself. Did you find your answer in the footprints of another’s steps? You had to know, silently standing in the distance, watching my mistakes unfold as I fell. You were the perfect ending, but you doubted it too long to truly see it.

Finding that sense of self-worth is a battle we all fight every day. You knew where it all went wrong, but at least now you can hum that old hymn your grandpa would sing every morning – the one that assured you that you were home, safe, and loved. A great feeling to experience once again, one you had

felt was gone forever. It's a good feeling to finally be where you belong; it brings a real smile to my face, the type I haven't had in a long while. A smile that I don't have to fake. This is why I call you the perfect ending. You were the answer I never found, as I never asked the right questions to end up where you are now. I can always tell a story - and some I'm more familiar with than my own - but like most, these tales still have a few pages missing. I know the book itself is at its most crucial part, just reaching its peak for that big moment, yet I still somehow miss it all.

Nevertheless, this moment of anger between us invariably buries itself into my peripatetic subconsciousness as an involuntary vicissitude that we carve our days around – which, in turn, unwillingly standardizes our lives as if we were meant to anticipate this occurrence and oblige. You saw it coming all along. Your vision couldn't be any clearer and I was too far away for my story to be heard the way it was meant.

My story tells itself with my time and pain, possessing me and portraying itself as a living entity, out on its own, ready to play the role of my life. Knowing all of my passions, all of my ambitions, and all of my wisdom, just to be used against me and viciously taken in haste, with no remorse or place for reconcile.

Still, the void in my heart, the purest form of malice cutting through flesh and straight to bone. I reach to take it all back with the very scourge of the story I never told. The things I've buried far too deeply that even it could never grasp. The words and agony were bitter and cursed, stabbing the heart like a thousand daggers with a twist, ensuring my pain was felt.

I will never know if I succeeded; I had retreated from the battle with myself and saw that I had lost myself for such a long time. I'm now so far beyond the years of sorrow and the attenuation of my soul. I've drowned myself in tears of contrition and reconciled myself to a sleepless reverie that means, even now on the

very still and tranquil new moon nights that tell this story so well, I lie awake.

All I wanted was for someone to care. I blamed anyone but myself for my mistakes. No mind so perfect could be this flawed. Now, somehow, I'm expected to know the stories I've never had the chance to hear coming from the people standing before me today, claiming they were told from long before. I could finally see the truth in you clearly, your value as a person; I see that I bid far too low. Why couldn't I see that I could have been a better friend and listened to you? You were the only one that never led me wrong, yet I still made it about me. I displayed a role of a teacher to a student, when in fact it was I who was being taught. I never meant for it to be that way and my intentions were pure of heart - in my head. It all felt right, but even when you think you’ve got it all figured out, life will put you in your place and show you just how wrong you are.

The years pass by and I see many people come and go. This repeating

cycle of memories, old and new, is the last honest, profound thought I had before losing myself within the empty strands of time itself.

I am so lost in my dreams as time moves forward. This very moment takes its shape as if that cycle never began. The cycle you created to help me get where I need to be, but I was too lost in my own creation and failing to put faith in anything but me. I have no reason to complain now at being completely alone; I had pushed them away, one by one. You were always there and I was selfish, so I thank you now too late, my dearest friend.

We stand now eye to eye, inhale to exhale, trading the same old stories we thought we knew so well - when, in fact, we never knew any of them at all. I should have listened closer. It was never about me. I wanted to be different and I was sure in thought, as if it was calculated precisely. I should have followed when you called, but instead I tried to lead, blinded by my

arrogance. With a last look upon each other, our eyes stared deeply into the very core of our souls.

The stories are way too real and yet so vastly different between us. We see that our blessings, once so virtuous, are now concealed in jagged and shattered glass, consumed with detest. The anticipation of a joyous ending has long departed, hence I blindly wrote my name into the ending with every letter nearly perfect, as if it were an oil painting. The story’s end had now laid its path before me. The one I should have taken was the one you showed me, so now this path I walk alone.

Our vastly different tales in this cycle shared the very same fate - yet different from another’s eyes, as if it was only my blood that shed. We both took our departing breath and this became a story in itself, as we all fear facing death. The blink of an eye; the only thing we ever acknowledged as real in our lives lasted only a matter of minutes. I had missed my only chance. It was then, at

last, that our stories finally read the same. Peacefully, we drifted into an endless sea of thought, with nowhere to be and our minds laid to rest. Even that perfect ending truly wasn't as you thought it would be. A place we always end up as every road we take leads to the same place. A place where the words never mattered in the stories and our tales were left untold. These stories can't be put into words – we can’t tell the tale we don’t know how to read and explain.

The scream of a thousand words is all that we hear and as we speak, our utterance is breathless, drowned out in the sound of it all. It is pointless to speak at all, as those words were never said with your wasted breath. You were silent long before, just playing with the words you had left unsaid. Perhaps those words would have made a difference now. You always knew when it served to speak, a skill I should now learn. That’s why everyone listens when you do - of course, everyone but me. It pains me and

sorry can't be said, so it just becomes another word added to the thousand-word scream I hear every day in my head. I had missed it all and you showed me where to go, but the words you chose to speak left me to drown alone.

The novel slowly closes as it flips through the last few pages, left blank; as I drift into an eternal slumber, where I don't have to stay awake. Now is the moment I've sought so long, drifting apart from within as the epilogue gives closure. We know, at last, that the book was read.

It's such a shame I was too late. The silence is now so loud it's deafening. I wish for a moment where the thousand words would scream, as this silence has stripped away the last part of what I knew as me. At last we could see it as one. The first time to open my eyes - and perhaps the last, but at least we can see it honestly, one time, for all that it is. We can hear the most beautiful song ever written as the sounds of the silence breaks and

dissipates, returning the thousand word screams we could hear in our head. You now have joined me as we fade away into a void of black.

From my perspective, at least once, we may both see the light in all its glory. That feeling, the release, the peaceful hymns we heard as children that woke us every day - that we hated so much. Now those songs lead our way as the black fades away. A wonderful life we have yet to create, as we all missed something this crucial along the way. It was far from our time, but can't you see that you need me as much as I need you? We have to see the same light, even when it's different, as no one can see very well in the dark.

Being alive is the only thing that I'll never understand, but it feels so good to be back home. I haven’t seen that smile from you, my friend, for forever and a day. Can we take a walk together, one last time, but you lead the way this time? It's not a surprise for me to see you shake your head to answer no. We begin to walk along side by side. I had almost missed it all again and can't ever seem to get

it right. Now I see that you continue to shake your head to answer no, still never saying words unless necessary. I fall silent as well and continue to walk by your side, thinking about the days that lie ahead and all the life I had left to live. It feels good to walk by my friend once again.

Where does this feeling come from? But maybe it’s only a moment we had forgotten. Is this why you are so famiiar to me? What led you to read past chapter one with me? I finally knew the answer to the questions where it all began - and when it occurred, I could finally see that it's not hard to understand. I had it right all along, but I never had the pen to write it down. I focused on the things that made life hard, then on these moments when I would be sure to have a pen to write it down. As I take this walk with my friend, the days are all familiar; the good and the bad create the same old stories our parents read before us. You had to compromise and learn as

well, taking the lead when your bell rang and speaking more so I never got left behind. It was never hard to understand, but we had both missed so much. You can't live life thinking that your story is something new - that was my biggest flaw. The drowning of my being shy at your helping hand.

Everyone's story is a chapter in a book, but even when that story is different, it still reads and ends the same way. Without sharing our stories, the book can never be read. The story to know is the easiest one to get and our life writes it down as we go, adding another chapter to its pages. Now we make the perfect beginning and end.

I walk now with my friend by my side, a moment to be cherished. It's good to know that, regardless of what happens, no one’s story is different - it all begins and ends the same. The best stories always come from those that are heard and those we create. It truly is a great day to hear your voice again, to hear our voices together at

last. We both know where the road leads now, so which direction shall we go? Like a river we flowed, letting our will guide where we went as we walked along the way, sharing all of the stories we had left unsaid from the beginning to the end of all our days. That familiar feeling, the wonderul feeling you get at the start of a new chaper. We have read this once before, my friend, and it’s a great day to start again. The same old stories we would always tell, but we never wrote in ink.

The End

@givethispromptatry