#was thinking about stuff i've drawn without posting while working on a drawing
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don't remember when i last worked on this study but I'm never gonna loop back to it so here you go
#re-animator#reanimator#herbert west#was thinking about stuff i've drawn without posting while working on a drawing#and was like hold on#there's another study of a ghosts character but it's not finished enough and i DO believe i'll get back to that one eventually#i just need this one to be out of the way now lol into the art file it goes#study
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》�� These panels are censored, you can go to the last of the post to find out where to see them!
A little historical info to better understand:
♡♡♡♡♡!!! I really feel happy and overcome with these panels, I was thinking a lot about how to make them since there were several obstacles: I had never drawn something NSFW before as it should be 😅 I never got that far so to speak, there was always a line that prevented me from taking that step, since it is not the same to draw some small scene where you only see something specific to a whole pose as such and all that implies. But after many ideas and turns I managed to take that step (maybe small for some but for me it was like reaching the moon 😂) and the most important and most feared was that the essence of the drawings and the style would be lost but I could keep it well and make it coexist ♡.
Note: as for the text accompanying the panels I want to say that it's not my best work as a narrator hahaha I don't write anything since I was about fifteen and it was my era of fanfics and stuff, so I feel its very basic and empty! 😅 ♥!
Now, let's talk a bit about the panels! Well, as we all knew this moment was coming, it was no surprise -3- Ryomen really had to be patient to get what he had been thinking for a while, but he didn't want it to be something random as it could be with any woman he wanted, he was really curious to see how Aurora could look like with the full appearance of a lady of the Heian era and when he saw her, he just couldn't resist. One thing will be clear: Aurora won't wear black teeth again, there will be no way to paint her teeth again without someone losing a limb. As for her eyebrows: she's really mad about that, but I'll let it go.
And to close this post I come with a novelty (I've been thinking about this for days) now we are going to be able to have these drawings completely uncensored on patreon.
I'm not going to lie, using more than two social networks for me is already a lot 😥 if it were up to me I would only post everything in one place but we know how the rules are and we have to respect them, if just by showing a nipple (which is a pixel 😂 ) they almost censored me on Instagram I knew this would be difficult and Tumblr is not lagging behind, while there are things that it lets pass there are others that it doesn't and it's not nice to have to make such complex drawings so that the AI doesn't detect them as 🔞 since there comes a certain point that you get tired too and it loses the grace.
My patreon will be the place for all my works 🔞 without any censorship already, you are going to be able to enjoy both public and private content depending on the type of work ♡. I think also for me it's an incentive to be able to start letting go more of my ideas and continue with everything I want to do :)
To say goodbye first I want to always thank you for all the support you give me and all your messages 🖤 and second to warn you that this CAP of Ren will be in patreon already published privately but all the other censored drawings are public for you to see and enjoy them as they should ⭐
Here are the publications that I censored and that you can now see, there are not many at the moment x'D
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A Look Into My Hades Fan Animatic
I don't know to call this other than a collection of resources and reflections about the process of making the animatic. Hopefully it's interesting or helpful for someone. But feel free to ask questions if you'd like clarification/more info!
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Inspiration (A non-exhaustive list)
It's possible that I've seen/read fan works that may have inspired me unconsciously, so there's no way I can possibly include references to them all. However, the ones I listed here are ones I recall looking back at repeatedly.
The fancomics "First Flight" and "Bonehead Boon" by Liana Sposto
Robbie Elliot Art's animation "Take Tonight"
Toastyglow's animation "Glitter & Gold" and PMV "This Year"
Storyboards posted by Paige Caldwell (@/papernewt) on Instagram
Zag admiring some of these beautiful fanworks.
The following sections are below the cut: References, Songs, Script and Thumbnails, Studies, Drawing, Editing, Random Facts
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References
These were very helpful to creating the animatic!!
In-game references
Hades Wiki
3D Model of Zagreus by @/chunyou_ on Twitter
I also used screenshots I took while playing
General references
"How To Direct A Fight Scene" by Howard Wimshurst
Poses from the photo libraries of The Pose Archives and AdorkaStock
3D Model of Male and Female Heads by William Nguyen
I also just looked stuff up online or took videos of myself acting out some of the movements.
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Songs
I thought of basing my animatic on any of the following songs:
"Icarus" by Bastille
"Dirty" by grandson
"Underworld" by CYPRSS *
"I'm Still Here (Jim's Theme)" by John Rzeznik
"I'm Gonna Win" by Rob Cantor **
"Could Have Been Me" by the Struts
They all have a varied degree of "Zagreus vibes" but I wanted a song that could be used to show as much of the game as possible. "Could Have Been Me" was the song that I could imagine more things for, so it is the one I ended up using.
* Look at this awesome Zagreus fan art based on this song
** Some of the lyrics for this song are so fitting for Zag but others are pretty ooc.
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Script and Thumbnails
I've seen other artists annotate the lyrics to the song they are working with and attempted that here. But that process is a little confusing for me, so I kept these descriptions vague. It was helpful in keeping track of ideas, since some of them are faster to write down than draw. Especially for fight sequences.
I used Storyboarder for the thumbnails. I opted for this program because (1) it lets you add an audio file and (2) it has very basic tools. It can be used in a more nuanced way than I did. However, with 3 and a half minutes of frames to work out I needed something that helps me draft down ideas efficiently and without overwhelming me. And this was pretty good program for that.
The script and thumbnails happened in tandem a lot of the time. Think of it as brainstorming, both in vague writing and loose drawings. At this point I am trying to see if these ideas flow with the song, if they are readable, if they achieve what I had in mind.
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Studies
Okay. So I am happy with my ideas. Now. How do I make sure the drawings are identifiable as taking place in the game?
This is where those in-game references came in handy. I looked back at my thumbnails and made a list of everything I would need. From characters to locations. Once I had these down, I made folders to make sure everything would be nice and organized.
I tend to avoid backgrounds like the plague. However, for some of these shots to work I need to give the viewer a sense of where the action is taking place. I know that I struggle imagining three-dimensional spaces while drawing digitally. So, using my thumbnails and the references I gathered, I did studies of all the locations I thought would be important using good old paper and ink. This also served to fine-tune shot compositions.
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Drawing
The animatic itself was drawn using Krita. Usually, I worked on all the backgrounds using the studies as a base and then added the characters. My drawings started very rough for a couple of reasons. The main one was that with ~200 frames ahead of me I was afraid of letting my inner perfectionist get me stuck. I kept reminding myself that, being an animatic, the drawings could be rough as long as they are still readable. As I got more comfortable using Krita, I was able to create cleaner backgrounds.
Even so, I hit an art block around the two minute mark where I Could Not Draw. This is where I heavily relied on those References I Keep Talking About. They were my savior and are the main cause for the more "finished" look towards the end of the animatic. I think the best example of this was the shot featuring Thanatos. I was deep in the art block territory by the time I needed to go from thumbnail (top left) to final frame. No matter how much I redrew them, I didn't like how they turned out (top right). To work this out, I found references from The Pose Archives and used them as a guide (bottom left) to get a sketch that I liked (bottom right). I felt this look was more sketchy than I've would like so I ended up cleaning it. I followed a similar process for most of the frames following this one. As a result, the final frames of the video turned out cleaner.
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Editing
Once I had all my frames ready to go, I imported them into HitFilm Express and made a composite shot where I basically just matched the timing of the frames to the music. Frames that have camera movements (like the very first frame) were made in their own composite shots. I ended up having to delete some frames so some sections didn't feel rushed. In the end, there's like 5 versions of the animatic because I kept making little changes. The biggest was adding Zag's dialogue at the beginning since I felt the video started up too quiet. I don't have any images for this stage. Please have this comparison instead.
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Random Facts ✨
Adding color was a last minute decision, it was mainly because I thought a colorful sunset would be prettier. My original plan was to shift the gray tones of the background into more yellowish tones once Zagreus reaches the surface, but keeping everything monochromatic.
If you pause quickly on the very last frame you'll see I accidentally made Zag's leggings black instead of red. I was on auto pilot at this point. Adding color was worth it overall but so time consuming. My respects to people who do fully colored animatics.
I wish I made Meg a pinker (or blue) hue rather than purple. In my mind I saved purple for characters related to Nyx (hence why Hypnos, Than, Chaos, and Charon have shades of purple). But I guess it is a sweet detail because of how Meg confides in Nyx in the game.
I kept a log of all my progress. Apparently getting the thumbnails done took about five months (August 2023 - January 2024)?? Anyways I leave you with these entries.
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Thank you for reading! I hope it goes without saying but I really appreciate all the support this animatic has received. All the hearts and comments and tags, they mean a lot.
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Hi fish hi fish!! :] hope you're doing swell- wanted to ask for some advice
I've been trying to learn how to draw wheelchairs for a while now, hardest part has been finding refs with people in em, do you know what terms to search up to find stuff like that? All good if not, just know you're pretty well acquainted with drawing em so figured I'd ask
First off I'm going to state that I'm not a wheelchair user. I have researched them in the past and have asked a family member who uses one for advice, but still don't take my word as absoultely reliable. The majority of my knowlege/observations comes from watching family members with chairs so it may be biased. I'm going to be mostly talking about manual chairs but the same suggestions should apply to powered.
Searching up "wheelchair drawing reference" can help, but I discourage using google images. Often the images will be unrealistic due to them being stock images, or of the wrong type of wheelchair for what youre drawing. (One that comes up a lot are foldable wheelchairs which are more associated with hospitals than practical life).
Instead, try to use reference collections made by wheelchair users. This is a really good collection by Criptid Cosplayer in both manual and powered wheelchairs. They also have a small guide to designing fantasy wheelchairs which was interesting.
I also reccomend learning what the different parts of a wheelchair are and do. This will make it easier to understand how the user uses the chair, the shape of the chair and make it easier to remember the different parts while drawing. I don't have a specific source for this using photo reference since I looked at real wheelchairs for this. However @/calvin-arium has a good guide to drawing chracters with wheelchairs with drawn diagrams here.
Also ensure you observe how real people use wheelchairs. I find that tutorials for using wheelchairs are a good source for this since they break down how each movement works. This will make it easier to draw Wheelchairs in montion/natural posing. Wheels2walking has a good video explaining rolling and one here for wheelies.
Other tips:
Give your characters wheelchair gloves, especially if they're going to be going longer distances than just being inside. Not all users use gloves but they do help protect the hands.
Consider if the character needs additional support/what type of chair they're needing. E.G. Seatbelts, cushions, cupholders, additional storage space, hight of handles/if they have handles, back height ect.
Check what type of wheelchair your character needs. One of my OC's needed to always hold a megaphone as her main weapon, so I gave her a powered wheelchair with a headrest to ensure that I could still have her move around the battlefield without taking away her disability. Other times you will need to consider the type of chair around their disability rather than design/character function. Make sure you research the type of chair for the disability and adjust if needed.
Wheelchairs have different functions. Sports wheelchairs and off-road wheelchairs look very different to regular wheelchairs so keep that in mind. Always research the right wheelchair
Also consider if your character can move their legs or not while posing.
To draw the wheelchair start with a circle with the figure to get an idea of the pose. Treat the chair as an extension of the character while drawing. Don't worry about the anatomical accuracy of the chair before you have a good idea of the pose/a basic sketch or thumbnail
Remember to draw the wheelchair using perspective. or dont.
Wheelchairs are even cooler decorated. Some people use stickers, covers, lights, fabrics, spikes.
It's okay to draw wheelchairs badly. I see a lot of people avoid drawing them for fear of getting them wrong but thats just. counterintuative. Make sure you research (even further than this post links to) and stop avoiding them.
Okay yeah, thats all I can think of for now. Keep in mind that I'm not disabled and so not everything I say is guarenteed to be accurate. But this should be enough to help you out I think.
If anybody else wants to add on to this feel free
#drawing advice#wheelchairs#hiiii poke!!!#sorry this took a day#I wanted to make sure that I properly searched for some answers for you#again most of what I know about wheelchairs/my influence in drawing them comes from seeing family members use them#manual and powered#anyway yeah i hope this helps#i dont think i could draw a wheelchair with perfect accuracy but ithink. even just a little bit of knowlege is useful#I also have opinions about people drawing characters/people with mobility aids they dont use. But thats for another time and#also its ot really my buisness.#fish asks
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I wish I could comment but I can't so:
oh my godddd I know this is kind of counterproductive or, like, just pointless for me to say this as a white person adding noise to the conversation but please please PLEASE DO NOT LET THOSE PEOPLE GET TO YOU!
I've only found ur acc recently since I've joined tumblr instead of lurking and your art is some of the best I've seen.
I have Aphantasia and general face blindness irl, so defining features (not even ethnic features, just general appearances) in drawings are the main thing I've had to focus on my whole life because I struggle to accurately display them in my art.
I've practiced and studied countless art styles and ways people have drawn and depicted eyes, eyelids, mouths, hair, skin, lips, noses, faces, body types, etc. Of course it differs depending on the art style, but you literally managed to perfect the way you draw individual features in your characters that make them not only stand out from eachother, but as characters with unique and diverse backgrounds.
I don't wanna clog up ur inbox too much, so without repeating the whole thing again, I will say that I also saw @cheeseburgersinparadise's comment on your post and I was thinking the exact same thing.
Idk what these people want you to do short of making racial caricatures or stereotypical depictions of people.
So here's some things I really enjoy about your artwork instead:
Little differences in body type are noticeable and really cool to see
you're very consistent in your character's personalities and depictions, so even if in one drawing they have their hair tied up and in another it's just completely natural, I can still tell who it is at just a glance!
Despite what the armchair critics say, the skin tones you use are really good and I can tell they're well thought out.
Your lineart is awesome. I've never been able to use the uhhh the one effect (I forgot the name) that makes the lines all sharp and stuff without my drawing looking like a SBAHJ comic parody/shitpost, but in your drawings it looks super neat and has a cool kind of side effect where it highlights the colors and stuff, making it all really pop but at the same time feel really like.. story and held together? I'm terrible at describing visuals I'm sorry but just know it's good! You know how to actually use brushes and effects/overlays.
facial expressions. You nail them every time. 'nuff said.
Same Face Syndrome fears you.
"try exploring shape language" idk what crack these people are smoking because your art is like the pinnacle of good use of shape language in drawings. It reminds me of Canadian cartoons (IN A GOOD WAY. I GET CANADIAN RADIO/TV SIGNALS, I GREW UP WITH IT) where it's like 'less is more' in terms of line detail and instead putting the focus on the basic shapes in a way that can make even the quickest sketches/simplest versions of a drawing look lively
if nobody else got me, the tumblr crowd got me fr ��💖
It's hard to articulate how much this means to me (hence why it took a bit for me to answer this ask lol) because like. I don't know if y'all remember that one episode of iCarly where one of Spencer's favorite artists just blew him tf off and it lowkey ruined his life for a while, but I felt just like that fr
It can be really frustrating sometimes being a silly kink artist(TM) and feeling like because I have a particularly cartoony art style and don't often draw the most extreme WG art, I get kind of overlooked and treated like IDK what I'm doing sometimes, y'know? I never went to art college and studied drawing there, other than one cartooning class I took for funsies at a community college, my knowledge comes from what I learned throughout grade school and studied myself with online resources or books at the library. So sometimes it DOES FEEL A LITTLE like certain huge artists who did go to college for that turn a nose up at artists like me.
It's the craziest feeling when someone makes a criticism on your work that's just like, objectively unhelpful or even hypocritical, and then doubles down and like subtly paints you as one who just can't accept criticism. Because if I couldn't, then you wouldnt have such kind specific compliments on my art hahaha. My lineart is so clean because I took the advice from an art teacher when I was 16 and it was shaky. I keep facial features and whatnot simpleish and cartoony so I can depict expressions in a more fun way.
Hell, that artist's "fair criticism" about leaning into ethnic features more may have been referring to the fact that Shay doesn't have a noise here. This is seen in some other pieces of mine, too
but that was intentional... a gentle nod to certain anime facial expressions were they leave the nose out for Extra Effect
It's a little ode to the funny facial expressions in Sailor Moon that do much of the same
Speaking of the lineart effect, heh, I'm soooo touched someone noticed it omg?? ;0;
I like to duplicate my lineart and put the top layer on multiply with a lighter (usually warm) color and guassian blur it and then the bottom layer with a bright (often brighter) and then guassian blur it even more before setting it to glow dodge :^)
I feel vindicated that I wasn't just like. overreacting when I was DEEPLY offended by the "helpful criticism"
I feel like whoever made the skin color comment just. forgot about the concept of lighting in a dim room 💀💀💀 It was so crazy to me that she was talking to me like I haven't been drawing these characters for years at this point and use the same base skin color like. 98% of the time
ALSO DW I THINK THE CANADIAN CARTOON COMMENT IS A BIG COMPLIMENT CUZ I USED TO WATCH A LOT OF THEM ALL THE TIME!! 6teen is one of my dearly beloveds fr and a friend of mine said my art style reminded him of that so 🥺🥺🥺
TLDR: thank you for being a real one and the heartfelt ask I will be mentally hanging this up on my fridge 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 (also sorry Tumblr is wack and wont let you reply to posts smh)
#long post#Noodle answers#fave#considering the fact I was expecting hate from the artist's huge fanbase even tho I left the name out#this is the best case scenario fr fr
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Announcement? Other things!
Hey, everyone, so besides commissions and all my SPECIL SALESMAN art, I would also like to share more things (like original art) and draw fanart for other things. Spamton G. Spamton is a mainstay on my blog. He is very important to me, and if you don't like him, then too bad!
My range of interests is absolutely massive, and as one fan/friend of mine said to me years ago, "You're like a mystery box of surprises!"
Here is what I plan to make art and possible theories or analyses for:
[[please note that a lot of my interests are 17-18+, but anything uploaded here will be kept SFW or cropped. All NSFW stuff will go to my Pixiv account. I highly recommend to NOT look up the origin if you are a minor or sensitive to explicit content.]]
Queen's Blade Franchise (17+) - I really want to make more art of my favorite character, Alleyne the Elven Fighting Master, and possibly her apprentice, Nowa!
Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni (17+ GORE HORROR. Do not look up if you are sensitive.) - Recently fell in love with this series. I consider the original anime from the 2000s to be a masterpiece. I want to draw my favorite character, Takano!
Taimanin universe (17-18+. Seriously don't look it up if you're a minor lol.) - I really love some of the characters of this series, like my waifu Ingrid. I've drawn her before, and I want to draw her again. Funny enough, one of my pieces is featured in the mobile game Action Taimanin as a poster on the wall for a level. Sometimes, I see people use my art as an icon. It's very flattering!
Dragon Half (15+) - One of my all-time favorite mangas ever made from the 1980s. I think it's long overdue I make a fanart for it.
Winx Club - I have numerous unfinished fanarts for this series. I love it so much, even though Sailor Moon is superior lmfao.
Shoujo Tsubaki (18+. BANNED WORLDWIDE. DO NOT LOOK IT UP if you are sensitive or if you are a minor) - I watched this two nights ago, and it's so sad... I plan to do an analysis of it. I honestly don't think it's the worst thing ever, but I can see why people find it offensive, as it touches upon A LOT OF taboo topics.
Psychonauts - This game series man... So good. I want to draw something of my favorite character, Helmut, and his husband, Bobby. I just absolutely adore them. 😭
Touhou Project - It's been a long time since I've drawn proper fanart for this series. I have A LOT on my DeviantArt account, but I'd like to draw my favorite girls again.
Super Mario Bros - Peach is my original waifu. I've tried drawing her many times in my style, but I've kind of failed. I also really like Princess Daisy's N64 version and want to draw her again. Rosalina/Rosetta, I will also think about it.
The Legend of Zelda - This one is a little... Difficult for me. This is one of my favorite game series ever, but I really struggle to make art for it. I want to since it heavily inspired my work, but damn is it hard... Hopefully, I can break out of my shell for this.
Various other Eroge titles (18+) - Eroge are any games with erotic elements that originate from Japan. There are so many I like that range from simply being romantic to utterly insane. If you're a minor, do not look up anything.
Runescape - How I love thee. It's been a while since I've drawn fanart for it. I love the Elves haha!
Creepypasta or ghost legends/stories - I've been listening to a lot of these lately and I feel a bit inspired to draw some of the things that pop up in my imagination.
That's all for the non-original stuff. I'm still hesitant to post OCs here because they got 100% ignored last time. xD
Stuff of mine I won't ever upload to this blog:
18+ NSFW. Obvious. Do you want me to get banned?? I can draw fanart for something adult without it being NSFW.
Fetish stuff. I know I get commissioned a lot to draw fetish art, but all this will remain on DeviantArt.
Anyway, that's all I can think of right now.
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Kind of a random post, but sometimes I see a post going around Tumblr telling people to not think of their art as "content" but rather just call your art "art," call your fiction "fiction," etc. Don't call it "content." I am too lazy to find the post in question, but in any case, that's not the only place I've seen this sentiment, so the original post isn't necessary -- I now regularly see people outside that post criticizing calling one's fannish or creative outputs "content" (presumably after having read that post).
And while I can kind of see the connection between "content" and "content producer" and this sort of undesirable culture of, like, overwork, monetization, obsession with clout/following, and/or pressure to constantly produce and not go too long without a lull in a stream of "content," I'm just not sure it's the word "content," or thinking of your fic/art/whatever generically as "content," that's the issue? I think that pressure would still exist regardless of what you call your social media posting and, conversely, I think "content" can be a very innocuous and appropriate way of thinking about one's outputs/contributions/whatever you want to call them, at least in a fandom context.
Cutting the rest because this got kinda long:
Like, I am not someone entirely immune to the pressure to create ever more art, but output/productivity/clout/monetization has never been something I really struggle with or which motivates me on social media. I don't have productivity goals (in the sense of sheer volume -- I do have big projects I badly want to finish because they burn a hole in my mind, and I sometimes need productivity goals in order to make any progress on them at all). I also don't attempt to make money off any of my art (it actively kills my art drive to do so), and so I'm also pretty indifferent about the popularity of what I make (aside from social factors or other natural artist desires to want one's talent/skill/achievement/etc. to be recognized, which I don't think is unusual or unhealthy for an artist unless it becomes pathological), because I am not financially dependent on my social media posts having far reach or anything like that.
But specifically when it comes to fandom, when I contribute to a fandom, I tend to be very multimedia in the way I do that. I write fic, I draw, I make graphics, I write meta/essays/manifestos, I make memes, I create events/communities/social activities, I collect reference material, etc. etc. The easiest, most succinct, and most accurate way to describe what I do is that I produce... content for my fandoms. I guess you could call it "outputs" but that sounds robotic and business-speaky. Or you could call it "works" but I don't like that because fan stuff is what I do as a break from work; they don't feel like work and I wouldn't describe them that way. Also, calling some of things I make "works" sounds a bit grandiose for what they are! Calling all those things "art" doesn't work either because I need to be able to distinguish my art-qua-general-fannish-activities from my visual/drawn art, and, between those two categories, I don't think the word "art" is an appropriate way to describe the first, especially when it fits the second much better (it depends on context, obviously -- sometimes "art" is clear as a generic, but if I'm talking about both things at the same time, it will not be). "Fanworks" doesn't work either because not all the things I produce are fanworks. It's... content. Like, maybe I am missing something obvious, but I literally cannot think of a better/more accurate way of talking about my collective fannish output (other than "my collective fannish output").
Another helpful use of the word "content" is when you're in, like, rareshipper hell (which I am). Then it becomes very tempting to be like:
...whenever someone posts anything related to your rarepair, no matter how small, off-the-cuff, or modest. Or really:
Like, there's a level of desperation you reach in a tiny fandom where literally anyone contributing anything feels like a life-restoring drop of water in a desert... When you're desperate for literally anything, it seems fine to say what you are craving is "content." I suppose I could also say, "Finally, some good fucking literally-anything-at-all for this fandom" instead. But the word "content" does the job.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I think the word "content" is getting a weirdly bad rap here. I do get the mental adjustment someone is urging you to make when they say, "Please don't think of your fic/art/whatever as content" because thinking of it as content first and fic/art/whatever second is an indication that you might be too preoccupied with ensuring you're always producing a steady stream of content without much care over what that content is, or thought as to why you feel pressured to keep churning out content. It could also indicate that you view your role as a fan or creative person as being a "content producer," someone whose value is dependent on how much you produce and whether you're producing, which can often be unhealthy (unless you do that for a job, are paid based on your level of output, and absolutely love your job -- then that's great!).
So I think that's a very valid and important PSA to make to creatives -- you need to be cognizant of when, like, you're becoming alienated from your art and especially your hobbies/fandoms/things you do in your spare time. I just also think there are legitimate uses for the word "content" specifically, especially in fandom (e.g. to describe your collective fannish output or your collective fannish intake when you're very multimedia in inclination) and so I personally haven't found the whole "content (derogatory)" attitude in fandom/on social media to be helpful to my particular situation, to be honest. Not contradicting the general sentiment of that post and its advice, but I just think thinking of your work as "content" is okay/appropriate, actually (situationally).
Anyway, sorry, I wrote a mini-essay again (I thought this would be "short").
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so in September I started a huge sketchbook and a discord channel with an extremely small group of friends. I historically have been really bad with sketchbooks, because I never finish them and I don't use them as SKETCH books (my brain tries to make me make every page a finished piece).
The goal was to just draw shit WITHOUT posting it on social media. I was getting too in my head about everything I make needing to be online, and it was making my art suffer I think. Not everything needs to be a finished piece, not everything needs to be shared.
(I did post it to the discord channel so the handful of friends could see it, so I could trick my brain into thinking it wasn't a "worthless" drawing, and they could help encourage me to keep going. it's worked really well, I've gotten way more comfortable drawing without feeling like I MUST show it to the entire world)
I'm actually on pace to probably finish this sketchbook within a month or two, which is INSANE for me I usually take forever before abandoning it eventually. And while not every page has something amazing on it, every page DOES have something on it that I'm happy with to some degree because I just let myself Make Stuff. Some of it is weird, some of it is badly drawn, but all of it is honest and fun and part of me.
A part of me is really proud of all the work I've put into it and wants to do one of those Sketchbook Tour videos... but I worry that goes against the thesis of the whole exercise? Like the point was I DON'T have to share it, it's just for me, it didn't need to be a complete piece for internet consumption. But at the same time I'm like... wow! There are hundreds of drawings in here! I did all those! I did all those for FUN and I had fun and I like them! I'm proud of that and I want to share it!!! So I'm butting up against myself on this one.
I've still got 40~ pages to make up my mind about it I guess.
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PLEASE forgive me if someone has asked about this before, but how do you start a digital sketchbook? What's a good page goal to reach, in your opinion? Your art rules <3
thank you so much! tbh tho i think that totally depends... mine tend to be 13-ish pages plus cover, but they're BIG vertical digital pages with several irl-pages-worth of sketches crammed in. and there's not really any specific reason why i do it that way! that just happened to be the number i landed on when i put my first one together (and now i don't remember why), and then i just kept them all around the same length for consistency.
most of the time when i see other ppl's digital sketchbooks they're way longer than that, though i'm not sure if maybe most people don't cram as many separate drawings per page as i do? also, if this matters at all: my sketchbooks don't sell well a la carte at all, they're primarily a patreon reward and then i offer them as itchio downloads just in case someone wants to buy them one at a time... once in a blue moon someone buys them that way, but it's rare. so i actually really can't offer any advice on what ppl look for when they're buying digital sketchbooks, or what would make a digital sketchbook sell well — because mine don't, haha!!
but if i had to guess, more pages released less frequently (i.e. collecting up all your art from an entire year) would probably do better for standalone sales. i keep mine short bc then i can release them a little more frequently, again bc mine are geared at patreon.
as for how to start or any other tips — tbh, mine are just a combination of what i'm already doing, both digital and traditional scans! warmups, character design, concept work and doodling, stuff that just normally doesn't get posted. it's rare for me to draw something specifically bc i'm like "oh, i want this to be in the sketchbook pdf" — the only stuff i usually draw bespoke is like, filling in empty spaces after i've puzzle-pieced existing work together. and especially if you're doing stuff for patreon, that's my general advice: try to make as much of your workload stuff you would already be drawing anyway, rather than giving yourself NEW tasks on top of everything else.
my actual technical process is very simple: i have a big old multi-layer document, with folders for each page. (since these are always intended for digital viewing, i make sure the width of the page at 100% zoom is nice and comfy on a computer monitor, to spare ppl a bunch of annoying scrolling side to side; and when i put drawings together on the pages i try to make sure they're sized nicely in the same way, so you can see the entire drawing without having to scroll around it.) every once in a while i go through my digital warmups and copy them over and arrange them nicely on the pages, and the same with scanning in everything i've drawn on paper every week or two; once the pages are filled up i save each folder as a separate page and then stitch it all together into a pdf! nothing fancy.
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between you me and those two lalafall t posing that azure dragoon in submission in the corner there what is your favorite part about screenshoting writing or otherwise producing content for your character?
Buckle up cuz I've been rotating this concept in general for a while!
Okay, back in college (I still feel weird saying that) I lent a friend my notebook cuz he missed a lecture one time. He noted that I doodled all over them, and asked why I did so. My answer was something along the lines that I was going to burst if I didn't.
And it's still true for me to this day. I have to write or draw or do gpose/screenshots cuz otherwise I'm going to explode. An idea comes to me and stares me and compels me to execute it. Hell, when I get a good shitpost idea, it feels like my third eye snaps wide open and I cannot get any rest until I make some sort of token effort to try and make it real in some fashion.
As for a favorite part? I don't know! The Defunctland tweet about film making being the worst thing other than not making films is pretty accurate on occasion. I mean, I do enjoy the fruits of my labor. I was scrolling through my own blog smiling at the stuff I've made before I started writing this answer. But depending on the creation, creating the thing is more important to me than having the created thing.
Like this essay of an answer! Not only do I feel obligated to answer you, but I have to admit that writing this is going to be more satisfying to me than coming back to it later and reading it. And that's been true for most of my life. I remember goofing off with spriting at a young age and just enjoying editing the visual of Pokemon trainers without worrying about posting them for a while. It's just been this last year and like, high school that I would get consistent feedback on my creative endeavors. College and working at my last job didn't leave me with enough energy to do creative stuff and present it in a viewable fashion. So that leaves me wrapping my head around the idea that I am having positive human interactions because of my blorbos and blorbo related content.
As for Rowan being the central character of this content? She's more or less the character I've always made creative content for. Whether it be in a Night Elf form or original Elf form or Elezen form, she's just been the vessel for any creative endeavors that need a person-shaped avatar to fill. Now I can confidently say that Rowan is probably distinct from her predecessors by virtue of being worked on so much more lately, but she's just drawn from the same primordial muse ooze that I've always been drawing from.
I think I hit all the points I've wanted to here. Well, the peer-reviewed, undiagnosed ADHD is probably a big contributing factor as to why I feel like I'll burst as a way to combat boredom (and for how this reads lmao).
But, uh, yeah. Thanks for the ask, anon. I hope it wasn't far more than you bargained for XD
#rayn speaks of herself#and of creativity i guess#rayn back at it again with the essays#yeah i am still trying to wrap my head around being somewhat popular in this little niche of mine#i am enjoying the feedback but i would still create regardless of human interaction#cuz i would probably literally explode otherwise
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A Formal Apology for my Sudden Disappearance (10/18/24)
Hello everyone! It's Jester.
After a very extended break, I wanted to come back here and re-invigorate some life into this blog. But first, I believe I owe all of you an apology and an explanation for why I disappeared so suddenly and for so long.
At the beginning of this year, I found myself at a new job. And while I found my work very fun and fulfilling, it also left me significantly busier than I was before. I tried my best to keep uploading at my regular pace, but within three months I was burnt out. Maintaining the schedule on one platform was barely manageable, let alone two. So unfortunately, I decided to drop Tumblr first. Since I only use Tumblr on desktop (I don't have the Tumblr app on my phone because the version on the Apple app store censors certain tags. And trying to upload through browser causes it to crash), uploading pictures takes more time than uploading to Instagram directly from my phone.
As I've said though, I only managed to keep the schedule on Instagram for three months before burning out. Between March and July, I spent more of my time prioritizing my duties at my new job. Then once my tenure was over, I ended up moving to a different place, which was a hectic process all on its own.
As time passed, I became interested in other things, and debated about quitting altogether. The thing that ended up bringing me back was, quite fittingly, Jackson. With more free time after the move, I made Jackson a new outfit that I wanted to show off. And that ended up getting me to take pictures again. XD
Even so, it took me some time to find a new schedule that was actually sustainable for me. I've been getting more into drawing lately, and I wanted to find a balance between taking pictures and my other interests.
Which leads us to October. I've found a schedule that works for me now, and I believe I'm ready to go back to posting on two platforms.
Upon logging in again though, I found that I received multiple messages worrying about my whereabouts. It warms my heart that you all care about Jackson and his humble clown human so much. I'm really sorry I made you all worry. Tbh, I didn't think my online presence had much of an impact, so I didn't think about any possible consequences of just up and vanishing the way I did.
Thank you to everyone who sent me messages of concern while I was gone. I'm sorry I vanished for so long without saying anything, and I promise next time I take a break I'll say something before leaving.
In the meantime, I've loaded up the queue with all the photos I've take over the past few months. Lots of new pictures are coming.
Additionally, I've closed my Etsy shop in favor of getting a Ko-Fi. All the sewing patterns I've had before are there now, as well as some physical doll clothes and stickers I've drawn myself. Feel free to check it out if you'd like.
As always, I hope you all look forward to the continuation of Jackson's adventures. 💛
Sincerely,
The Clown Behind the Camera 🤡
TLDR: I disappeared from the internet because I was overwhelmed with irl stuff. But I'm back now.
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"comic creator," in the beginning and ever shall be.
Okay. They're not good comics.
They haven't ever really been good comics and I doubt they'll ever be good comics.
In fact, I don't think I'll be sharing them any time soon.
But I'm drawing comics for myself again.
I drew comics nonstop back in like, elementary and middle school, and I stopped for a while after seventh grade.
It's been too long since I've drawn a square on a sheet of paper and started telling a story in that panel.
So tonight, for old time's sake, I've picked up the pencil again and have started drawing panels for another (angsty) comic.
...
Everything I've done these past seven-or-so years.
All the little practices that I did with the intent to get better at something.
I'm starting to see it really pay off now that I'm trying *actual* projects again.
And all the studying too.
For a long time, I was afraid that I wasn't really absorbing any information when I researched concepts (like posing and character design) without immediately putting them to practice.
And the semi-passive research too.
Most of the media I've consumed has been through an analytical lens (which, that doesn't mean I didn't also enjoy what I was experiencing!). As I've grown older, I've become better at analyzing stories and cinematography and stuff like that, and breaking it down into what makes what work.
...
But enough about growth. This isn't about how much I've grown.
It's about where I've sort of paradoxically come from.
Listen. I could talk about my own development and personality for HOURS. There's so much nuance and stuff that I'm still trying to figure out.
But it's not narcissistic self-talk. I'm not trying to, like, make myself the center of attention 100% of the time all the time.
I'm just more fascinated by what I was. Honestly, I'd probably be fascinated by who a lot of people were.
...
Math used to be such a miniscule part of who I was.
I was more focused on Making Stuff.
Like, Any Stuff.
Business models for lemonade stands.
Presentations on the history of board games.
Ideas for inventions and mobile apps.
And, of course, comics.
I'd stay up late at night, drawing comics on a clipboard under the light of a desk lamp that'd been clamped onto my bed.
...
God, I wish I were still that productive, hah.
...
And now here we are.
I make music, games, doodles, blog posts, and, well, math stuff too.
...
I guess I was kind of always a "smart kid" in that regard.
But I don't think that meant I was supposed to go into STEM or stuff like that.
...
I don't know. It's probably just better for me to make the things I like to do solely as passion projects.
...
Yeah. I think I'll leave it at that for now.
TLDR: I've re-realized my passion for making comics, but it's also evoked some confusion in me.
And I guess my internship also starts tomorrow.
Yippie.
All I can hope is that they make me do more programming this year.
Because I love programming and math.
#blog#writing#rediscovery#narrative#creation#memories#nostalgia#gifted#passion project#rant#vent#personal rant#i've got a lot of feelings about things#as would anybody#about anything
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This Week In "Time & Again" #3: Gettin' Technical... Again?! And A Little Cynical
Hello again! I must admit... My weekly blog posting schedule has slightly shifted - first, because I posted the Halloween poster a.k.a. The First Teaser a bit later due to the creepy holiday itself, and second - because a bunch of life stuff is happening (yup, don't underestimate me, I do have a life outside artworks! 🤣). Usually everything has been fairly straightforward and gradual in my life, but there's a bit of certain activity going on in it right now, more than usual. And potentially also non-artistic side projects in my life. Because of that, I didn't get a chance to draw as much as I anticipated to during this week (already last week?! wowie!!!.. time flies, indeed!). But nevertheless, I tried my very best to go ahead with "Time & Again", for this is a project of the greatest importance to me. Slower or faster it's reaching its "well done" state - it doesn't matter. As you know, I'm not big on time limits 😁 At this point of time, the product is still very undercooked, so I'll be cooking it until done (even though I absolutely can't stand it when the packages say "cook until done"... because would you PLEASE be more vague?🤣).
To my surprise, I do not have an awful lot to say today. One might even say I'm ruining the format, for the previous posts I made had quite a (relatively) high word count. That said though - and some people close to me know this very well - every time I say I don't have much to say I end up writing twice or thrice as normal. Which leads us to conclusion that, perhaps, I actually do have things to say?!.. Either way, I'm sure you're not yet tired of me rumbling on and on about strange things that only some people - primarily digital artists - understand... Namely my habits of work. I am sure quite methodical in the way I draw, perhaps oddly. So I'll continue being technical for a while, until I run out of techy topics to talk about. And when I do... then I'll just spam more pictures 😁
However... A small demonstration of progress would be good for a wee little "teaser" of sorts:
(Note the layer names. I often make typos when I rename the layers - and I just don't bother and leave them as is, because it doesn't really matter. Pains me as a languages and grammar nerd, of course, but also entertains me a bit 🤣 Also, the cigarette smoke has been drawn on a separate layer as well, and it humorously states how I feel about this particular habit of this charming dirtymouth individual. Eeeew, Lothar. Not cool.) I do not always do that, but sometimes I start off drawing the outlines of the characters' bodies and end up "wrapping" clothes around them afterwards, like on the screenshots above. I think the reason why I completed the work on Chapter 3 so unbelievably fast last year was due to the fact that on majority of the frames Lothar appeared topless... Because I've noticed that when the characters don't have much clothes on them, it takes significantly less time to draw them. But of course!.. In this case you don't have to draw every single fold and wrinkle on shirts and skirts, extra seams on jeans, or additional stylish detail on any piece of garment that looks far too plain without it... Drawing characters naked - or half-naked - sure saves an artist a TREMENDOUS amount of time and effort. ... I suspect this is also the reason why in a lot of modern comics and mangas - and animated shows, too - the artists tend to include a lot of nudity in their projects... Why yes, isn't it obvious?! Because who, pray tell, wants to spend extra hours drawing all the clothes anyway?! Come on, clothes are overrated! I'm sure of it now.
... That was plenty enough of cynicism and sarcasm for a single post, I guess. Alas! I'm rumbling, again! That was not planned by me! So let's move on to the main part of this post now! Finally, on to the techy stuff, as promised! Yum! 🤤
First of all, I would like to mention a very important change in the way I work on my graphic novel now. One fine day, not long ago, I have discovered something... that turned my digital artist's world upside down. And the name of the phenomena that shattered my whole life was... Krita's weighted smoothing for the brush. (ok, ok... that sounded very exaggerated and pompous. But oh well!)
The screenshot on the left shows the brush settings I used all the time prior to Chapter 5. I used amazing Krita's Stabilizer smoothing, because I found it quite useful back in the day as I only started to use my Huion graphic monitor. I was so fascinated with it... It truly felt magical after a few years of using "a blind", screenless Wacom drawing tablet (which I will never ever go back to, for, to be honest, I have no idea how I was able to draw anything 🤣... tried using it a couple years ago just to see the difference, and I ended up exclaiming, "How in the ❤❤❤❤ do you even draw on this thing?!", and I set it aside for good... to collect real thicc layers of dust on the shelf 🤣). The right screenshot depicts the current settings I use for the weighted smoothing. Those are the Krita defaults.
An unskilled eye would probably not even notice any remarkable difference between the two as they watch somebody drawing in real time - or if they compare my older works versus the very latest ones. I must admit, the difference is sure very subtle. But to me, there's enough of a difference in how it FEELS when I'm drawing. The lines turn out better overall, somehow it makes me feel as if I'm drawing on paper rather than on a slippery screen. I could say, to me weighted smoothing imitates pencil drawing on paper very well. Which ultimately means... it's easier to draw in general. Thus, the digital artworks look more like my regular artworks on paper. It makes me happy that I can just be me when I'm drawing on both paper and on the graphic monitor. Back in the day, I was very worried about how switching to digital format was gonna impact my peculiar art style. Turns out it hardly does. ... Not that drawing on a graphic monitor has ever been challenging to me, for I learnt pretty fast, and yet, at times something felt a little off. So right now, I ponder, there's gonna be much less "off" and much more "awesome". Which is indeed lovely.
Now I question myself on why I've never used this brush smoothing before, for I truly think it would've made the process of work much faster and the final result a tad nicer. This proves that one needs a perspective, a few types of materials to compare before springing to any sort of conclusions. Seems like back in the day weighted smoothing simply didn't get enough attention and any sufficient "test drive" from me. But I am very happy I discovered this wonderful thing now. And I'm gonna stick to it - quite possibly forever from now on, as I will keep working on the rest of "Time & Again" chapters as well as everything else including random little arts with the other characters that I love to sporadically work on every so often, and the pieces for my online greeting cards store, and such.
... Like I already mentioned in the beginning of this post, as I write - I might get seriously carried away. And I see this post keeps growing bigger and bigger in size, again, so I should better wrap it up and save a little more exciting information for the next post (that I will hopefully try to schedule properly in order to restore more or less consistent posting timeframe, for now it's aaaaaall over the place!.. no promises tho).
I'm afraid, no animated gifs today. But for a nice goodbye, I'll drop a little "teaser" picture - a very rough sketch for some other "Time & Again" artwork that I'm going to finish up shortly (hopefully).
You will most likely see the end result of this particular artistic torment as a layout element on my social pages.
And for now - doooooodly doot doot! - I wave goodbye and leave the online world for a while to keep working on my obsession... and to eat some peanut butter, too, of course. See ya next time! 👋
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Okayyy propagandising <3 Sakura Namiki is a 1957 kind of... proto-yuri about girls playing ping pong; it's a decade older than the first manga to really be considered yuri, but despite it being Class S, there's no sudden tragedy, no inevitability of the girls separating, no male love interest introduced in the last minute... the romance might not be as explicit as you'd expect from a modern yuri, but for something from the 50s? It's got a good track record!
Plus, while I can't say anything for the significance of this work in particular, the author, Macoto Takahashi, was a pretty influential figure in the development of the shoujo artstyle, popularising the big glittery eyes synonymous with the genre. He did an interview with ANN about his art process that I thougth was interesting! Unfortunately, his family announced his death just this Tuesday :( I didn't intentionally drop this the same week (I've had the bracket post in my drafts for a good while) it just uh. worked out that way.
Very gauche for to say 'vote in his memory' or some shit, which is good because there's a much more compelling reason to vote Sakura Namiki: the artistry of it. More than anything, putting aside story and yuri history and Takahashi's impact on manga, I think that the way this manga approaches visual storytelling is on par with manga known for interesting panelling, like Witch Hat Atelier, and I wish I'd seen more stuff like it!
Like here, for example. I really love how the top panels express the character's feelings and the situation without purely relying on the text or the clarity of the drawings: the way the full panels are taken up by the crowd, almost claustrophobic; the jagged edges giving a sense of instability, like the crowd pushing at the boundary and might spill over; Yukiko small in the centre, giving the feeling of being suffocated; no one in the crowd is drawn with the same darker tones used to draw Yukiko, further visually isolating her at a glance. Just very well done.
Probably my favourites, though, are these pages from pink pong games. For one, that first page with the ping pong balls as text bubbles? Genius. I dont even know what I can say about it. Have you seen it? You get it. I also adore how the movement of the ball is communicated through traces of it, like you're watching the game in slow motion, versus the quickness implied by motion lines - really ramps up the tension.
What impresses me most about these pages in particular is, again, how the framing and composition impacts the storytelling. In the purple pages, Yukiko is playing against her rival. Both pages use symmetrical frames and have symmetry within those frames. To me, it emphasises the match being... well. A match. The clean trajectory of the ball and the pages' symmetry have a feeling of precision to them that expresses a cold professionalism. On the green page, however, she's playing against her crush. The central panel is at an off angle, asymmetrical. There's a wild flurry of balls, the trajectories overlapping in a chaotic mess, impossible to follow. On one hand, it's emphasising the level of skill on display - even if you, the onlooker, can't follow it, the players can - but on the other? The clearest aspect of that central panel are the two girls, even the table falls to the wayside; in stark contrast to the clarity and symmetry of Yukiko's match against her rival, you can feel the passion when she's playing against her crush.
Last thing: there's a point where the girls go to the ballet, and it details the full play, over eleven consecutive pages. Eleven pages of nothing but these two actors, the key motions of this dancem and a line summary of what's happening. Weird fucking place to bring up Chainsaw Man, but this kind of pacing reminds me of Fujimoto, particularly the montage of Fujino working with her back to the camera page after page. IIRC in one of the before CSM anthologies, he mentioned an editor's comment that he does in 16 pages what could be done in 6, and I genuinely think that's a huge strength of his work and a cornerstone of how good his stuff is. Its the same kind of technique on display here, just forcing you to slow down and absorb the ballet.
TL;DR; As much as the story itself doesn't bring anything new to the table, that's becuase Sakura Namiki is almost 70 years old, and there's plenty to appreciate about it aside from that. Let the magic of Takahashi's storybook style illustration into your heart.
UNDERDOGS ROUND 1
#this got WAY ahead of me hahaaaaaa#i've actually been sitting here typing this all out for almost two hours. is it ever that serious.#im even not as passionate about sakura namiki as all that (^^^) implies. ultimately its very old and it feels very old.#its just that it's a lot easier to talk about the technical achievements of it than most of my actual favourites which i like for#the story its telling more than how it tells it#also disclaimer: not an art expert. did art at gsce like 7 years ago. idc if im using the wrong words or w/e im just expressing my Thoughts#AND i didnt proof read it. lea me alone.#yuri propaganda#sakura namiki#also umm....... slightly haterish comments i left out of the main post:#(well. hater is a strong word. im not a hater i wouldve dropped it if i was a real hater.)#sakura namiki feels a bit old and tired and like its not bringing anything new to the table because it's literally pushing 70#.............................................but you know what else isn't bringing anything new to the table?#dont get me wrong. there's nothing especially bad about hdigtwmcf. i like it well enough and im keeping up with it.#but its an standard yuri that ticks the necessary boxes and does not strive to do anything beyond that.#the art is good in the sense that its appealing but theres nothing more interesting to say about that other than that it looks cute#like. i could not spend two hours writing paragraphs about visual storytelling in hdigtwmcf. art is nice. thumbs up. end.#<- thats how that would go.#and tbh i wouldnt have much more to say about the plot or characters or romance. its cute. thumbs up. end.
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Hi, I'm an MTF in their late 20s. I've had a fairly difficult time accessing and sustaining medical transition over the past decade since I've realised and I don't feel comfortable even using she/her for myself anymore.
I really appreciated the Baeddel posts you've made and I wasn't aware of them at the time. However I fell quite heavily into Tumblr SJW and then irl radical queer activism in my late teens to mid-20s. In those environments I ultimately developed a genuine paranoia about being found out as a 'bad person', losing all of my friends, being ostracised from my limited support network etc.
I ultimately experienced sexual assault by several cis women while I was presenting as a man. I found myself feeling completely isolated and bereft of comfort. I didn't feel able to reach out for help without having to prove my social justice bona fides (outing myself as trans) and reinterpreting it through the lens of it being transphobia (which it could not have been).
In the end I fell out of social justice spaces, towards dirtbag leftist type environments. However, ultimately I've found myself attracted to moderate anti-SJW, edgelordy sort of anti-idpol leftism. In the end I've disconnected from everything, because whatever merits I might perceive in any specific argument or cause, I'm more concerned about my pattern of being drawn to extremist ideologies and activism.
Basically I've reached a crisis point in my transition, finally being able to access HRT in non-DIY fashion. It's thrown me for a loop, as someone living in the male-mode* for so long. I feel the need to reach out for support but also fear of doing so.
The trans support groups and spaces I know don't want to relate to me as someone who has experienced trauma as a male. Who is living with the dual burden of the problems of being a trans woman with the social isolation and coping skills of a cis man. I am also autistic, and I've found there's a fairly narrow range of acceptable autism'ss in those spaces. Autism of the species that makes you meek or cute is more welcome. That which makes you pedantic or firm in our beliefs not so much. Which makes us think or behave differently or worst of all commit faux-pas or missteps whole socialising. There is seemingly little tolerance for that (in the end, tolerating a slightly difficult person, admittedly).
Anyway, I'm grateful for what you've written on the topic of men's problems and the tendency of feminist and 'queer'** activism to ignore that suffering. I appreciate it as a possible trans woman, intensely dysphoric person who also had to suffer the isolation, emotional brutality and self-denial that comes with growing up a boy in a tough environment.
*a withered, grey version of living as a cisgender man, covering my body, avoiding intimacy, avoiding making new social contacts out guilt for the deception, of sleepwalking through life.
**after my irl experience of radical queer activism, I run away from the term.
Hey, I really appreciate you reaching out. It sounds like you've been through a lot, and I'm so sorry you haven't been given the understanding, acceptance, and community you need and deserve.
I think everyone has stuff in them that draws them toward extremist ideology; that's why it is what it is, and why it works. It's not that there's something wrong with you as a person- it is, in all likelihood, just that you're isolated and in desperate need of community. That's the target demographic for extremist recruiting, because those are the qualities that make someone recruitable. The solution to that is to find healthy support and community somewhere else.
The fact that you're aware of this pattern & acting on it- and even more than that, have managed to get away from multiple extremist groups- that shows a lot of awareness and strength, and a lot of hope for you. You're gonna be okay.
There are people- lots of people- who have had similar experiences, and felt similar ways, and who need similar support and understanding. There are even more people who, despite not experiencing those things firsthand, are open-minded, understanding, and accepting; and who will listen to you & gladly welcome you into their lives and communities. I know it's scary to open yourself up and put effort into finding and connecting with them, but they are out there. You'll find them if you keep trying.
I really recommend checking out this article by someone who, it sounds like, was in a similar situation to the one you're in now.
You're always welcome here, and I hope you can find the support and community you deserve.
Good luck! 💙
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Two quistiens please!
1. What size do you usually use for your drawings?
2. HOW DO YOU DRAW YOU BACKGROUNDS!?!? THEY'RE SO PRETTYYYY!!!!
I'll try my best 😅
1. I usually start out with a 2000 x 2000 px canvas, mainly because I like squared (they feel neutral) and if I want to post it on instagram I won't have any problems (well... before their update). I can still change it to landscape of portrait later on if I need it to be. That size isn't particularly big, but it's enough for viewing it online.
Backgrounds under the cut ✨
2. First of all, thank you 😚 I have to start with saying I'm no professional, I didn't study art and I'm pretty sure I'm using wrong terminology and describe things in a weird way, but here's how I do my stuff and what my though process cheats is like.
Also I've noticed I rarely draw backgrounds and I think most of the backgrounds I drew were for my spicy pieces... anyway
It helps a lot when you already know what kind of background you wanna have and sketching it alongside your main subject. Most of the time it's an after thought in my works and I think it shows. Sometimes I can work my way around it and bullshit a background after I've already drawn the characters, but it really helps when you know what you're gonna do before you start. Thumbnails help a lot when you want to plan out your scene.
What I like to do (and what works best when bullshitting your backgrounds) is making the background symmetrical. It doesn't have to be actually symmetrical, but the use of central perspective and placing bigger objects in the background in an almost symmetrical way makes it feel like it is without it actually obviously being symmetrical. It's easy because you can use the symmetry tool or copy things from one side to the other and fill your scene quickly with very little planning. It also frames your subject very nicely the way some renaissance and art nouveau pieces do.
Those are the pieces I knew what the background should look like before I started. They are asymmetrical and required more planning, but I think they were worth it. Here you can play around more with different perspectives which gives them more depth and makes them more visually interesting. They also feel less staged.
Great tip for cozy backgrounds: Pillows and curtains. They are big, they are easy to draw, they take up space and usually you have more than one in a scene so it fills up quickly and you don't have to put in a lot of thought about what else to put in the background. Alongside all those big objects you can also put some medium sized and smaller items in your scene to fill in empty spaces, give more visual balance and also they add to the mood of a scene and can tell a story on their own.
One last thing I think about while drawing backgrounds is white space. While it can look good to have a cluttered scene, I think it's really hard to pull off and also the eye needs some place to rest. Having enough white space in your piece keeps a nice balance and makes your subject "pop". It guides the eye to whatever you're trying to present.
Oh and something I should probably add to all these little "art tips" thingys: Use references References are your friends
I think that's all for now :)
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