#was she happy? actually thats all i care abt if she wasnt happy you be ASHAMED. dont make her upset

[funky-dealer]

i had a dream about quasar. idk what it was about but i remember she was in a car. thought you'd like to know that she's been traveling thru dreams

LIKE SPONGEBOB

[fardf150]

fuck

[readingwiththestars]

₊˚⊹♡ THE GRANDEST GAME

["Riddles are for people who enjoy playing,” .... “Do you consider yourself playful, Mr. Hawthorne?”]

| ✮ 4 stars |

THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [!!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!] this is very long guys sorry

ok so *cracks knuckles* lets talk about tgg

!!warning i'm finishing this like four days after i read tgg so i might've forgotten things because reading until 2am and remembering what i read is apparently a hard thing for me to do!!

first of all.... JLB, you and i need to have a chat because that ending was not okay. you literally just left us with no answers. seriously. what the hell????? and while i wanna kick my feet and scream because we got two kisses and then you had to go ahead and ruin it in the span of two or three pages and give us that shitty ending.

i would like to point out one question i had through out the book, which was why was grayson playing? what was the point of that???? like seriously was there an actual need for him to play or was it just jameson, avery, xander and nash fucking with him? whatever it was it didn't make sense and just felt like jlb was trying to shove lyra and grayson into forced proximity so they could interact.

speaking of thatttt i love graysonlyra and rohansav (more thoughts on sav later) the banter the looks the touches the everything i love it sm omg AND AVERYJAMESON!!!!!!! THE CRUMBS WE WERE GETTING MADE ME SO HAPPY OMG!!! I CAN DIE HAPPY!!

i will say i feel jlb really did pull out all the stops for this book the different levels of everyone's connection and knowledge of how to solve the riddles/puzzles (i was literally CLUELESS) like how does one make all that connect. the level of detail was insane connecting books and characters together just weaving some kind of intricate web of characters.

and at first i did feel like the game felt really short but i think that was just my 2am dumbass brain forgetting this is only the first part of the game lol. i did kinda hope there would be more like running around and trying to solve things on the actual island not stuck in a house though but who knows whats happening in the next book soooo

it did get very confusing there with calla (who is fucking INSANE BY THE WAY!!! SHE TORTURED KNOX??? WTF????) and the whole calla lily thing with lyra and odette was confusing af. so its like calla (the person) has a connection with knox and brady and then a calla lily has a connection with odette and lyra (also kinda gray cause he knows abt it i guess)

and and and and im a die hard gigislate shipper (and brady daniels hater) so im praying that we get an enemies to lovers with gigi and slater where he's forced to be mean/hate or wtv because of *gags* eve and then its like oop no im breaking you out of here idc what eve thinks because i only care abt you. ESPCIALLY because gigi was talking abt how no ones ever looked at her the way jameson looks at avery throughout the book (SOMEBODY HIRE ME FR)

OK THATS ENOUGH RAMBLING ITS TIME TO FOR THE CHARACTERS

CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

lyra - ok i love her. she was such a good strong character it was so much fun to read about her interactions (with grayson 😏) she was actual so wife material but idk why i felt like i wasnt allll that into her character too much like i love her but didn't really feel connected with her?? idk she was a very good fmc to read about tho!! but i do wanna know about miles end and her whole connection with her dead dad (who btw is an ass who tf kills themself in front of a FOUR YEAR OLD???) and whoever's stalking here (honestly i had a whole ass thing thinking its ALL PROBABLY EVE LIKE SHE WOULDA DONE THAT MUCH RESEARCH OR SOMETHING or maybe eve was js there for gigi) but now i think it might've been something to do with alice. who knows honestly

gigi - this is my time to shineeeeee. if gigi has zero fans i am dead (and slater bc im delusional like that) i love gigi so much omg. she's my no 1 girl i love her. my girl just needs someone to love her fr she talks through out the book about how she wants to be looked at with so much love (she thought it was brady BUT NO EW) i loved reading from her perspective abt how she just wanted to prove that she was good enough to be in the game AND SHE IS!!! im still bitter about her getting kicked out of the game - AND IM NOT EVEN GONNA TOUCH ON THE WHOLE KIDNAPPING AT THE END (GIGISLATE ENEMIES TO LOVERS WHEN????)

rohan - marry me. thats it. honestly just marry me. u need to work on ur nicknames tho- it was super interesting to read about his way of think and the whole labyrinth thingy lol. there wasn't too much more about his backstory tho WHICH IM SO INVESTED IN FR. WHAT DO YOU MEAN HIS FIRST MEMORY IS DROWNING????

savannah - girboss fr. she could step on me and i'd say thank you. its really interesting to me how (obviously) she's been manipulated by eve and it'll be super interesting to see how jlb will play out her whole revenge plan. she's extremely driven which is admirable and a good characters (she's literally like a female grayson imo - which also reminds me of that one scene where she goes "i am grayson hawthornes sister" which made me smile so big fr)

there are so many characters oml

knox - ok so my buddy boy knox. broski, brozilla, broville, brother from another mother, u need a hug? i didn't really like him in the beginning tbh he was a moody lil girl working through his issues. but after a while when he warmed to gigi it was nice to see the softer side to him (which tbh wasnt for very long until oop trauma dumpppp) but seriously oml knox baby the scar???? imma find calla fr (jlb cant write new characters also why complicate the shit out of everything and have a calla lily be relevant to lyra and also have calla be a person???) i did like how sweet/soft he was with gigi when she fell though that warmed my heart.

odette - iconic grandma shit tbh. she was third wheeling the entire time and at some points actually seemed like she was shipping them but then two seconds later she was warning them? saying no? idk the whole 'seizure' thing seems faker than eve's lies. and the fact she instantly gave brady the watch after gigi said no. like um what about knox? idk if thats js my brady hate coming through here though so yeah idk if i trust her or not (bet everyone is working for eve except for gigi, lyra and rohan)

grayson - marry me. love me. choose me. pls. i'd do ANYTHING. my simping for this man aside. IT WAS SO GODDAMN REFRESHING TO SEE A HEALING GRAYSON. like yes. it made me so happy to see him admit he was wrong but also know that its okay to be wrong skdjhaasd. this is so short because i love him and cant write proper thoughts about him fr.

brady - *cracks even more knuckles* brady daniels....... you know i've always wanted to know what it'd be like to write a hate paragraph. i guess im finding out now. i hate him. literally. i have unbridled hate for this man - who by the way still shocks me that he's only 20 he acts like he saw the fucking first world war. its one of the reasons i never liked him like he sooo took advantage of gigi's smartness and kindness like HE DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING during the game gigi carried the entire team and when she refused to take odette's watch and then him instantly taking it. ICKKKK don't even mention how he lied abt his mom like dude just admit it you knew you were fucking cooked in that fight and the only way you could win was by lying. AND WHAT ABOUT THE WHOLE BOMBSHELL ABOUT HOW (i cant remember his name but the dude who raised knox, calla and brady) died??? and then being a little shit and dropping gigi's heart. like we get it u dumbass man child u think you're clever cause u can speak so many languages and read even more but NO. i was onto you, i never trusted your crusty old man ass. like he even touched gigi without her permission (on the stomach) which so gross to me, the dogshit under my shoe can do better than you brady. seriously. i hate him. i'm the leader and founder of the I HATE BRADY DANIELS CLUB. so thats at least something to sate my anger. help this got so long 😭

QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [i'm putting like two because this already wayyyyy to long for anyone to actually bother reading.]

"you will come back to me, or i will make you come back to me." - grayson

"Beside Avery, Jameson was looking at her like she was the sun and the moon and the stars and eternity, all rolled into one." - gigi

"give me your eyes sweetheart." - grayson

if you're here at the end of this *APPLAUSE* i commend you on getting through that kilometre of my shit thoughts. have a piece of cake 🍰

[crushedsweets]

ANSWERING A TON OF ASKS AGAIN

(30 asks..)

the reason i added it to my AU was a nod towards Ann being popularly (?) shipped with Tim way back in the day! her reasoning is prob just some 'i like my men with muscles and beards' or something LMFAOOOOOOO

yes!

I APPRECIATE YOU!! youre so sweet and im glad it helps !

only english!

in my au, i could possibly see her in a long denim skirt... and there was that one alpite drawing of her in the miniskirt... looked really cute LOL

please release me from my prison.

WHAT ARE U REFERENCING

let the man dance. . . must he stand perfectly still. . . ?

i think her smile is sooo perfect. shes perfect.

LOL AS USUAL, toby clocky nina EJ and kate. my fave is between toby and nina

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LEAVING SUCH A SWEET MESSAGE!!! it makes me so happy when you guys enjoy the stuff im putting out, especially since im enjoying creating it! i have a lot more free time now since two of my accelerated classes ended, so im just always thinking about.. them... LOL ty again also ur english is perfect!

i didnt care for it just cuz i loved the OG so much, but i totally understand why the creator did it - being berated and bullied and harassed for years at such a young age over a fun little character you made . . . i would want to "fix it" as well. but i think ninas original concept was scary in its own right! i think copy cat killers and true crime fanatics are haunting and OG nina reflected that!!!

HE'S GOT LAZARI thats his ..half daughter half sister figure. LOL. maybe dina too ive been thinking abt that a lot... omfg and lulu...

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?? CHAT.

leave her ALOOOONNNEEEE SHES PERFECT THE WAY SHE ISSSS!!!!!!!!!!

i have! i read a bit about it and whatnot in 2023, but i didnt get fully into it! im too stuck in my own world ... RIP

ive drawn him once before! i really didnt like it . LOLLLLLLL i deleted it like a couple days after posting ... ill think about doing it again!

ive been meaning to draw her with them all up her right arm+both hands+back and peaking up her neck, but i keep forgetting!!!! i only seem to remember with jane , but thats cuz its like ... very fundamental to her design LOL

yea but it wasnt my thing... very cool concept, but the humor and pacing wasnt my taste!

i have actually!! way back in like 2020, one of my friends made me HAHA but i kept falling asleep during it . . .

yes.

CRISPY IS CRAZY LOL but yeah. i love her too. LOL

release him...

true.

HAHA YEAH I CHANGED IT A WHILE BACK..and now im debating changing it again... omg

thank you anon!! youre a sweetheart

ghglugghh...

[stars-tonight]

HI BOOKIE WOOKIE NEAR i would love to get a haikyuu matchup for myself when ur not busy

🔭 I would prefer a long matchup if its not too much trouble ofc

🔭Preferably a romantic matchup

🔭 Characters that have like bug eyes or a bald i need a man w hair

🔭 My pronouns are she/her and i would prefer a male s/o

🔭 My ideal partner is someone caring and loyal who can deal with me without getting mad. Im a really sensitive and insecure person so someone who teases is not for me. Naturally i love to take care of people so someone who is just a big baby sounds so adorable Plus they know how to treat women and other people right someone being disrespectful makes me wanna throw up

🔭 Im pretty short around 5’3 pretty much like I said earlier im rlly sensitive if you raise your voice at me im gonna cry. I also like to yap a lot so sometimes ill talk for a really really long time its super embarrassing sometimes. I like to be really caring and if i find someone i really like i’ll be very clingy.

🔭 I LOVE to bake or cook you can find me at 3 in the morning baking brownies or cake or looking at recipes on insta. Besides that i’ve been a flute and classical musician for over three years now so i need someone whos fine with my busy practice schedule.

🔭 Im a big fan of physical touch i love to give or receive it if i feel safe with that person. Since shopping is an addiction of mine i also enjoy gift giving which i feel is kinda basic but seeing someone smile because they got something they wanted makes me so happy. If my s/o wasnt comfortable with either i do love to give praise. On the receiving side besides physical touch or gift giving words of reassurance are amazing since i am very insecure

🔭 An ideal date for me would be something kind of simple. Just lunch or dinner at a small pastry shop or cafe where we could talk and then go for a walk or to the mall would make me fold like a chair

🔭 Something i just cant stand is teasing. If its every now and then i can make an exception but its just something i cant take too well as for height i dont rlly care but i’d prefer if we were the same height and i’d love if they were taller than me

Ok thats it lovely get to this whenever you feel like it dont worry abt rushing to get it done 💟

headcanons

🥛 so i was debating between akaashi, kita, and asahi for you but you said you like to take care of people and i feel like asahi is the biggest baby (in the most respectful way) out of those three, so i ultimately went with him

🥛 like with the other two it'd be them taking care of you

🥛 but we all know asahi is a giant teddy bear who just needs doting on lol

🥛 although he might get teased about it by daichi, suga or noya because you're taking care of him

🥛 especially because he's like a whole foot taller than you 😭

🥛 respectful anxious gentleman right here

🥛 will fumble the ball on the first date (he'll take you out to a fancy restaurant and look really nice in a suit and tie but he'll probably accidentally spill soup on himself or something)

🥛 he is not the type of person to tease lol

🥛 he's also really sensitive so he would totally not understand why some people tease each other as a way to show affection or to have fun (or how they can get so mean like tsukishima)

🥛 asahi would NEVER raise his voice at anyone, including his friends, opponents, and especially his partner

🥛 i don't think he's physically capable of getting mad (well, unless you count that one time he yelled at nishinoya but in his defense that was because he was dealing with insecurities and it just got pushed to the brim)

🥛 he loves listening to you rant on about your favorite things or even just how your day was

🥛 he just likes listening to you speak lol and it's extra amazing if it's about something that made you happy

🥛 he'd actually think it's so cool that you do music and would ask you to play him things (it becomes a great way for you to relax together)

🥛 he also likes baking with you! especially because you get something delicious after that you can enjoy together

🥛 physical touch would make asahi such a big blushing mess he would just forget how to function

🥛 and he'd definitely prefer low energy dates like cafes and walks

🥛 although i feel like on the first date he definitely asks for advice from the third years and nishinoya and therefore he definitely takes you to an extravagant, fancy place

🥛 "princess treatment" as nishinoya and suga call it lmao

runner up for you was akaashi keiji!

A/N: hi! i'm so sorry about the long wait but hopefully you liked your matchup :) a cordial reminder for anyone who sees this that my inbox is CLOSED!

[tinukis]

some details about one of my one piece ocs, Z here i should like draw proper ref of Z soon bc i think abt the little guy often. if i do talk about him more and draw him, i may just reveal his real name eventually

anyway theres really nothing happy about this boy from what i shared and i still have nothing happy. however the reason he even still holds onto life is because of books. he loves reading about adventures, whether the tales are from real journalists or something made up. it inspires Z to continue living on despite being chained down in hell

thats not what i actually wanna talk about, i just wanna talk abt something more lighthearted. while Z does appreciate all the strawhats, the ones hes most particularly fond of are luffy, nami, and robin

not that any of them told their stories, but that those four can really sympathize with Z. nami especially can relate with how Z believes he needs to shoulder everything himself to save his island considering hes only 13 enduring all this pain and suffering-- how he even refused to ask for the strawhats help until things were extremely desperate and that he had to accept that he really was powerless to do anything.

doesnt help that Z's "foster family" fed the strawhats too and how charismatic they are- Z thought that they were completely entranced by them so they wouldnt believe a word a bratty kid would say. and when Z felt completely helpless, he had pinned the blame on the strawhats and wished they never met bc things did go downhill for Z since his arrival

with robin, Z would talk about his favorite book and robin adores how he'd light up talking about it. not to mention him getting really excited when robin said she read the book before and gave him recommendations. (and as a parting gift, she gave Z a book she already finished reading. and it's about a kid his age starting their own adventure and writing everything about their exploits as they travel the world)

and with luffy, i'll admit was p hard to think about as hes not an easy character to write... but hes always been good w kids (AAAAUUUGJWHDIWHDK) and how theyve been inspired by him. what makes it harder to think about is how this kid has ace's face and acted similar to a younger ace. luffy felt a bit uneasy and Z just didnt like him at all. though theyre attracted to each other like magnets so kinda impossible to be separated without being pulled apart. when the strawhats went off to do their own things, luffy and Z somehow come across each other and it's like "stop following me!" / "you're the one following me!"

neither share what adventures they had and neither cared enough to ask. though Z was a little curious about who ace was and luffy bluntly says that theres nothing to know now bc hes dead. Z was about to pry bc ace had to be important to luffy but then again why should he care about this guy? he didnt care much about luffy and he was gonna leave soon anyway so they just left it at that. and as luffy gets distracted by a beetle on a tree trunk, Z suddenly disappears.

at some point though, luffy knew there was something wrong if Z couldnt just leave the place and people he claims to hate. and Z was startled by luffy's sudden interest in him and the island. he wasnt even sure if he could trust this pirate (esp when the 'rulers' were previously pirates !!) but he didnt feel ill intentions from luffy either so Z does tell him about the strict laws of the land which pisses him off gravely bc basically all of the people's freedoms are revoked and have to live a certain way if they wish to even live 👍👍

Z: "dunno why you're interested. you're gonna leave and forget about this hell of an island anyway. theres nothing you can do."

and again, Z cant trust others- especially not pirates. but the more time spent with the strawhats, the more respect and trust he gave. but he never once believed that they cared for him the same

[br1ghtestlight]

Rewatching alot of episodes with Jimmy pesto and I was just wondering if you have any hc for him or Trev (I love trev so much💕)

hmm i haven't thought abt them as much as i want to?? jimmy and trev's relationship is weirdly sweet and you can tell they care about each other a lot :)

jimmy pesto is not straight and he has a weird sexual relationship with trev (and he secretly goes out and has sex with male prostitutes) but he has VERY bad internalized homophobia and like 1000 layers of toxic masculinity to work through before he's ready to have a healthy relationship with literally anyone, he would be a lot happier if he wasnt so scared of being seen as weak or feminine

also he is A LOT more affectionate with his kids in private and he really does love them, he's scared of being seen as weak so he's kinda mean to them in public but he always goes to their performances and plays and he says i love you to them but jimmy jr has a complicated relationship with him bcuz he doesn't understand why his dad cant be openly affectionate and loving towards him, andy and ollie are younger and just happy to be around their dad regardless but its definitely not healthy for any of them and it makes his kids feel like he's ashamed of them

he really REALLY does love trev and its probably his only emotionally honest and open relationship with anyone, he's actually a lot more vunerable with trev than he ever was with his wife (mostly when he's drunk)

he and his wife divorced not long after the twins were before bcuz having three young kids did NOT help their relationship actually!!!! but even before then his wife was a stay at home mom and generally didnt come around the resturant very often so most people wouldnt have really known her, she was never introduced to the belchers or anything. the kids have a very complicated relationship with their mom too

jimmy pesto opened his resturant before he had kids!!!! we can see it was already open when bob and linda moved in and they were pregnant with tina, i like to think that his resturant was a family business that his father opened :) it makes sense that he would be opposite to bob in that sense and have a better working relationship with his father

trev loves jimmy and believes that he can be a better person and he KNOWS that jimmy doesn't want to be shitty all the time he's just stupid and insecure, thats why he doesnt leave even when jimmy treats him kinda terribly bcuz they have had a lot of intimate moments together. maybe not the healthiest relationship though

jimmy will invite trev over to his apartment to play with his toys when he doesnt have his kids :) they race cars and play golf together and actually have a lot of fun, when the kids are at his apartment theyre allowed to play with the toys as long as they're careful and dont break them (mostly when he's supervising them and jimmy jr is there)

trev has a bad relationship with his family and doesnt talk to them really at all so he sees the pesto family as kinda like his weird surrogate family??? he's known the kids since they were babies and they call him uncle trev and he usually is invited to their thanksgiving dinner :D if its a year where the kids mom has them for thanksgiving/christmas jimmy will invite trev over and they'll generally get drunk and complain about their shitty lives and families but sometimes they'll do a secret santa thing and buy each other gifts

jimmy remembers trev's birthday every single year and buys him a small present bcuz he knows trev doesnt really have anyone else celebrating his birthday, he doesnt make a big deal out of it but trev gets very emotional bcuz he for some reason assumes jimmy won't remember this year (but he always does)

trev likes babysitting the twins and he'll play with them and draw crayon pictures while theyre at the resturant :) andy and ollie will request he draws things and even though he is NOT an artist he tries and they absolutely love it and keep the drawings in their bedroom, jimmy jr also used to be involved with this when he was younger but he's too cool to hang around trev now *eyeroll*

[narwhalandchill]

uhhh anyway. so like yesterday was my first time ever doing story day 1 and i have many Thoughts about the AQ. mostly positive unfortunately my major gripes do relate to the childe/narwhal situation which kinda dampens the overall experience more than any other part being underwhelming would given (gestures in general direction of self). like we all know the multitude of diseases i have on the subject 💀

dunno how much of a complete nonsense rambley writeup thisll be i think i might take some time to sort out my overall thoughts and write sth more coherent specifically on childe/narwhal stuff, maybe leave out some other aspects i have more pointed thoughts on as well so this wont get mega long but eh lets see. this just all kinds of thoughts i have for now And its a mess so Beware

anyway. firstly. as scarred as i am by melus and silver. Its also just. holy shit man theyre truly just straight up tapdancing on teppeis grave like THIS is how you write NPC deaths in an actually emotionally impactful way. dunyarzad was a massive glow up already in terms of NPC writing in general but she didnt die so. but like the way their characters and bond to both callas and navia is built up and how the writers actually managed to make them feel like such dynamic people even if their roles are ultimately quite straightforward made their fates just... genuinely heartbreaking like what the fuck 😭😭😭 AND THE WAY THEY STILL SAVED NAVIA FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE AND SAID THEIR FAREWELLS I JUST. I CANT. i just teared up thinking about it again

idk what could be said about navia that hasnt been said a gigabillion times before like. Wow. she is just. Truly the moment. like she fucking blindsided my ass in 4.0 bc i wasnt expecting anything like how dynamic and compelling and complex her arc and characterization has been like. everything about navia her resolve her grit her experiences and her bravery and stubbornness just feels so incredibly human and raw and she is just? a wonderful character i never foresaw falling in love with her this much like truly. and she delivered JUST as hard in 4.2 too like if it werent for navia being the conduit through which we first experience the devastation of poisson i dont think it wouldve ever hit as hard as it did. i just wanna comfort her shes already been thru so much yet i also admire her insistence to keep going and keep living like man 😭😭😭 give her a happy story quest hoyo idgaf if it gets called shallow or some bs she deserves a break!!!!!

i think some ppl are disappointed by arles relative lack of presence in fontaine overall and while i get that i can genuinely say that its been so fucking refreshing to have an AQ centering on a conflict thats not entirely or mostly fatui based. its not like the weight or intimidation factor of arlecchinos presence has been any lesser just bc shes been largely on the same side as us. like personally i just Really enjoyed seeing her characterization throughout. the way shes been just so reasonable thus far makes me extra excited for whenever she might actually snap (at least hopefully she will). like both childe and scara think shes fucking insane?????? but yea. i also really enjoy arles dynamic with the HoH kids too like. i do think she genuinely cares for them in a way but i highly doubt thats all there is to it. and thats really neat. goes for things like her help to spina di rosula and poisson too; theres definitely strings attached to that aid lmao. even if arle has no particularly malicious designs in mind, shes a harbinger. like cmon. and i really like that!!

i dont have like. that extensive thoughts abt what i call the . uhhh. this is mean but extended cast of act 5 JKJKDWJKDJKAJK like HoH gang, clorinde, sigewinne, wrio. tho i do very much appreciate that clorinde dodged the sara allegations for good like. it was looking a little bit unfortunate in 4.0. her role wasnt super major but i love her english VA and this kind of grounded sort of character she ultimately is. also sigewinne jumpscare during furinas trial i love her so much.

mona n nicoles thing was unfortunately mostly a whateverburger for me bc. im sorry im not that interested in hexenzirkel lmao i feel like such an outlier in any lore discussion circles bc im just not that hype about them (gold is an icon however) idk why. it was neat, it happened, didnt bring any mega hype. what i liked the most was honestly just the talk with mona about destiny and fighting against it and all. she really felt like a friend trying to help us navigate our thoughts on this insane horrible situation going on!!

in terms of plot things uhhh i went in mostly blind? as to the actual events. i had spoiled myself a bit on some specific aspects (my own fault) but ultimately most had no effect on how much i enjoyed everything. also lowering my expectations on the. ahem. worries i had abt childe that unfortunately came true so i was less let down on the spot wjjkajkwdjkwd. my biggest issue was actually that i had to progress lyneys story quest TWO FUCKING TIMES by a pretty notable amount bc it was blocking locations. and that dumbass office drama world quest like i was morbing.

a particular standout moment (beyond the Obvious. i need not name it THE LAUGH THE FUCKING THUMBS DOWN also singed FL can kinda lowkey 100% absolutely get it) for me was when i was so invested in our conversation with furina in poisson and in the magic box that i actually fucking forgor about the whole trap scheme thing even existing and then the box fell open and i was like WAIT WHAT THE FUCK and started laughing for like a solid 5 minutes i was caught so off guard. what an incredible moment. bc like. when the thing we were hiding in w furina started shaking i was just hell yeah narwhal modcheck? narwhal modcheck? bc obviously i would. and didnt question for a second that it could be something else. like the trap we were LITERALLY plotting to set up just a bit earlier it actually killed me. altho the fact that one of the cursed lyney quest situations were in between the scheming scene and the poisson segment prolly had to do with it. anyway it was just really funny

i think this post is gonna take me 287382 years to finish if im gonna go into the like furina character arc situation and her trial and focalors and all that shit super in depth (+ narwhal/skirk things) but like. BELIEVE me i fucking loved it so much like its so awful and painful and horrible and just. best written archon easily. zhongli n venti i think r very well written but theyre p static characters bc oldies so its a bit different. raiden is. inazuma moment no comment needed. nahida is good but tbh i never truly reconciled with the way rukkha getting irminsuled sorta just erased the central conflict behind her inferiority complex so it somewhat ruined her character arc for me even if it did make me cry and i do love her chara overall. but furina i think they executed the whole setup and reveals and everything so incredibly well its insane like. god. 500 years........ and like. the way furinas arc just flops everything uve known about her and the interactions uve had with her sideways and turns it upside down realizing the predicament shes been in and what shes been grappling with. its just incredible man. harrowing but incredible like they truly delivered on that one. like that portion of the finale was just really well done

anyway not all thoughts i have by any means but whatever. ive just been Thinking. overall had a great time with the AQ n cutscenes in particular are only getting better and better, i thiiiiink this one tops sumeru for me? but like its sorta unfair bc i was never a scara stan whereas. even a narratively mishandled narwhal is a fucking world-devouring narwhal. unfair advantage. childe being there at all even if i have my gripes is too much points in favor KJWJKWJKDWDJKJK. theres things that make me really hopeful for the future writing but also things that concern me. so its an interesting situation rn. but im glad it went as ambitious as it did even if my fave got arguably sidelined the most. just hoping they actually do sth more with childe sooner than later if they want to leave all those loose ends unaddressed in 4.2. interlude rights PLEASE

[knightzp]

arashi for the character ask game! (if you've done her already, tori or killua) and for the question uh. ngl I didn't actually read the ask game so all of them/all the ones you feel like answering 👍

RAEY WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALL OF THEM THATS 30 QUESTIONS

akdlsk ill do a few for arashi and then killua too bc i miss my boy....

ARASHI:

my first impression of them:

it probably was me realizing she was trans ngl. it surprised me and made me really happy!

2. when i truly started to like them:

idek the point when i started to really like her but it was probably after reading a few knights stories. i really liked her personality, how she cares so much abt her friends and always does everything she can to help them, even when she was more selfish before, but shes changed even if she doesnt really see it. how she tries to always be positive and make everyone around her happy even if she isnt feeling that way herself. and she can be very silly too and she isnt perfect and makes mistakes sometimes and thats okay!! i really love her a lot <3

well actually. i dont think it was the main reason but reading beasts made me like her even more that i did before i loved that story about her

8. favorite outfit of them:

using this as an excuse to make everyone see her <3

13. your favorite friendship they have:

MIKA!!!! narumika the world they are the bestest besties ever they are so sweet with each other and i love them soooo much <3 and i also really like her friendship with ritsu a lot!!! i need to see the three of them hang out more together

KILLUA:

my first impression of them:

even before starting the anime i just knew he was going to be one of my faves and i wasnt wrong. from the moment when he appears in the first part of the hunter exam on his skateboard and gon and him start talking and then they race till the end of the tunnel i already loved him. it was blorbo at first sight

7. a quote of them that you remember:

GON YOU ARE LIGHT SOMETIMES YOU SHINE SO BRIGHT I MUST LOOK AWAY BUT EVEN SO IS IT ALRIGHT IF I STAY BY YOUR SIDE. look i dont normally remember quotes but THIS ONE??? THIS ONE LIVES FOREVER IN MY MIND. i think its impossible for me to forget it

8. favorite outfit of them:

im really fond of his initial outift and i love a lot how he looks in the chimera ants outfit too!!! also the one with the pink sweater, shirt and shorts he wears in yorknew he looks so cute in that one. im lazy to find images but you know which ones

9. least favorite outfit of them:

theres a moment in the anime (i think in the ep where he fights the rabbit chimera) where he wears a purple jacket with brown trousers.... the color combination there is terrible killua pls i know you can do better than that

character ask game!

[thewalkingdeadband]

Ok, here we go twd series finale review, very long i'm afraid

Things i liked:

- The fact that basically everyone survived (except Rosita but im gonna talk abt her) and had a happy ending (except Caryl but im gonna talk abt them in a separate post). I was expecting more deaths, which in retrospective was naive of me cause Twd has always done that, one big death in a finale or even in half a season, thats all. And considering Caryl's ending, having everyone else, or almost, happy is a balm for my heart. Some people are probably thinking that there wasnt enough death, but im more than ok with that. I was sooo freaking worried for Aaron, Gabriel and Eugene particularly that the relief was immense.

-  Rosita's emotional scenes with Eugene. Not once in season 4, 5, 6, 7 or 8, could have i imagine things ending like that between them. Not once have i imagined  back then the possibility of seing these two saying to each other how much they loved each other.

Contrary to a then popular belief, i always knew she cared abt him deeply: please go see her reaction when he's taken by Negan instead of her in 7.08, she's litteraly losing it. And her anger at him and "determination" with Daryl to "kill him" (pff, yeah, right) in s8 only shows how much she was hurt by his actions. They grew closer after the time jump in s9 and were basically bff by then even if he still was in love with her and had to be reminded later that no, it would not happen. So while im not surprised abt the love they had for each other, im actually amazed they said it outloud, like whaoh, because if there is one relationship in this show that hasn't been ruined but on the contrary has totally improved over the course of the last seasons, it's them. Their scenes in those last episodes were magnificent,  and the finale was no exception. They have come such a long way. I bawled like a baby.

The highlight of this moment: "im glad it was you in the end". Excuse me? 🤧😭😭😭

-  Rosita and Gabriel: at first it felt underwhelming, like he didnt show many emotions. Not when he learnt the news, that i could understand, he was in shock and it was actually such a fucking beautiful scene... but then, he prayed for her, and at first i thought could u pleaaaase drop the priest act and be the former boyfriend/the father of her child that she needs before dying (i dont care that Coco's not his biological child, and that they were broken up by now, he IS her father. And i loved Siddiq, but u get my point). But then i understood. He was on the verge of crying while praying, and tried to be strong and keep it together for her and Coco. He had to take care of Coco, having Rosita saying goodbye to her and then taking her away before the turn... Acting like a priest and a father, and not the man who loved her probably helped him stay grounded in this. I have no doubt that he lost it and ugly cried for hours in private alone in his room, off screen.

The highlight of this moment: "we will see you again someday". I'm not okay. I'M NOT OKAY😭😭

- Daryl being there for Rosita in a subtle, discreet and moving way. They did share a significant amount of scenes together over the course of the show ( ex: both kidnapping Eugene in s8, both trying to save him in s11c, kind of "funny" in a way) so it made sense that he was there.

- Rosita's goodbye with Carol and Maggie. The OG being there for one of the OG (Rosita is to me by now, in a sense). I wish we have had more scenes between them three..

- The fact that we didnt see who got to take her down before turning. It was not Gabriel who was with Coco. We can assume it was Eugene, and it is fitting, but who knows: Daryl was still behind them. Maybe Eugene could not do it, since he was so emotional, and maybe Daryl did it (a la Dale and Rick, remember? He would be the kind of guys to do this). I loved that we could interpret it the way we wanted.

- The music. It was awfully beautiful the whole episode, and i might go back on this for my specific post about Caryl for example, but the whole music post time jump especially was heart breaking.  And then can we talk about..   Landslide?? LANDSLIDE GUYS? Really?? 😭😭😭  This song makes me cry no matter what so you can imagine... in a scene who reminds us of the s7 dinner scene?? And also the one in s1... Please😭🤧 (oh, Yumiko's toast to Luke also reminded me about Abe's speech "to the survivors! " in the church in s5...💔)

- The "we're the ones who live" montage. I loved the first montage too especially since we got to see almost all the people we lost, but the dialogue/monologues of Richonne were too cheesy for me. I would not have minded "cheesy" for a reunion between them or between Rickyl or between him and the kids, him and Carol, etc... but for something that sets the spin off and isnt final, it didnt work out for me (also, since we're paying tribute to the dead in this montage: Sophia and Merle were missing. Hell, they could even have added Jim and Jacquie, Amy.....

But i did like that Sasha was put beside Maggie and Tyreese beside Carol, it was fitting in a way that i cant describe).

A simple line like "we're the ones who live" repeated by everyone made a bigger impact on me than their inner monologue in the first montage. Just my opinion, obviously. And we got to hear Morgan too: the "Morganite" in me kept saying please show him, please show him, please show him... So i obviously screamed when it happened. And hey, we even got a glimpse/nano second of Dwight too!

On a side note, i was soo happy we got more of Richonne than what i thought we would get, aka 2 sec as a post credit. I loved that it was in the actual episode and that it was quite long!

- Seeing Rick again. I loved seeing Michonne too, but i was simply a wreck to be able to get to see him, simply see him, and hear him again. Not because i love him more, but because he left earlier i guess. The wait was longer. Also, not my dumbass realising on a second rewatch only that their timelines were different🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️ (he had the phone, she had the phone... He threw the bag that she found later in the boat just before beeing taken back..)

Plus the line "Consignee Grimes..." with the look on his face, desesperate but determined, and the music behind... gave me so many chills omfg

- Luke's death. Didnt like that he died obviously, but the acting...the acting... it was so good and so poignant, it broke me

- Yumiko and Magna, while i didnt really actually care about them, i have to admit that seing them back together was nice amongst the chaos, and yumiko has been a bad ass with the whole Eugene situation these last episodes

- Princess living her best life at the end with Mercer just like i wanted, her being the bad ass that she is saving her man

- Eugene getting the freaking happiness he deserves, with baby Rosie (💔) and Max

- Zeke and Daryl's hug at the end. After everything, that was nice

- the callbacks: Daryl protecting Judith in her hospital room the same way Shane did with Rick... Giving her his blood just like Rick with Carl... Gabriel opening the gates after refusing to do so to his parishioners when we were untroduced to him... oh my💔 (i was sooo sure he was gonna die here and then by the way... as in coming full circle sacrifice u know... i stopped breathing)

- "At least we dont have to worry about who will get your house" "we already had to make an ugly decision: we kept u alive" KABOOOOOOOOOM CAROL MY HERO

Things that bothered me:

- well, caryl, though not surprising, but its for a separate post because there are still things that i liked, and things that i obviously didnt in this whole mess

- Negan and Maggie talk: I wish this particular talk had been saved for the spin off, so that we could have focused on having last moments with the other two people who were supposed to have a spin off together but ended up separated, u know, couch couch. That said, it was still a beautiful scene: of course she doesnt forgive him, of course she remembers how he laughed while killing Glenn, how Glenn called for her ("i'll find you"💔), and the fact that she still acknowledges he's trying and how she is grateful he saved Herschel Jr's life is more than enough and it would not have been realistic to have her forgive him. Now, we'll see i guess what happens in their spin off...

- i LOVE Glenn, but i would also have loved for Negan to remember that he killed Abraham too (not even talking abt all the things he did because thats not the point i want to make). He didnt have any scenes with Rosita, or Eugene, to be able to do that, but it really didnt seat well with me. And i wanted so bad for Eugene to mention Abe while Rosita was dying, saying something like "say hello to the big bad red- haired bad ass we all miss over here" well maybe not like that because cringe and clumpsy, but i dont know, something, anything, a simple mention for fook's sake. But he still was in the first montage, thankfully.

- Merle beeing, again, mentioned only for the bad things he did. I know he was NO angel, but if we can move forward when it comes to Negan we certainly can when it comes to Merle, who had no real time to be fully developped a la negan but still redeemed himself releasing Michonne and trying to take down the governor by himself, all because, believe it or not, he loved Daryl. So each time he's mentioned, and its rare, its actually to say things like "he would have been Negan" (back in s7 i think or 8, Daryl said that to Tara) which in my opinion is not true (s1 Merle? Probably. But the Merle who tried to kill the governor? Absolutely no. By then, he would have stood up to Negan a la Abraham i think. Especially if Daryl's safety was involved.). Or to say " he made me sell my blood for drugs". Great. We soo needed to know that. I get that Daryl probably have very actual few good memories of Merle (hopefully when they were very little at last), but lets not act like he didnt love him, didnt lose it when he learnt that Rick abandonned him on the roof, didnt cry his heart out when he died (the first time we actually saw Daryl cry i believe), didnt want Merle to try be part of the group... ("I just want my brother back.. " Remember?) No, instead, lets just bring again how shitty he could be and not acknowledge his sacrifice, despite how we keep saying in this show that we're remembered for the last thing we did, hence why its important etc. And believe me, i hated him at first like everyone else. But it seems unfair to me. I would have prefered no mention at all.

- also, how it was just an excuse to explain conveniently that Daryl is an universal donor, when it comes to blood... who knows if learning this in earlier seasons could have been helpful 🤣🙄🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️

- "To Luke", yeah... and to Jules too i guess? Although her grave/stone was shown later along his, and i get that she wasnt as developped as him (and he wasnt even greatly developped himself..) but still?

- Daryl's reaction to THE Rick news: i waited one full season for this? I get that at first he thinks Judith's kind of dizzy and not thinking clear (and he did have a "shocked" look for 2 sec) but when she then confirms it, what do we have? "Is this true ? Yeah? Well im not going anywhere" (!!?). Then he stays for a full more year indeed (!!?) and then he leaves, but while eveyone seems to assume in the comments/reactions i've seen that he goes looking for Rick/Michonne, i took it as "im following Maggie's advice to go explore and oh Jude by the way if i come across them i'll bring them back". IF, he says, not "im gonna look for them". All this coming from a man who looked for Rick's body for years, so much that Carol had to check on him worried as fuck on a very regular basis to make sure he was ok. Yep. I dont know, maybe i missed something?

[cielospeaks]

ok predictions/reactions to f-h (not negative necessarily?)

firstoff the banner itself

-shame abt the 17 stuff. imo its really fucking clear that the people in charge of f e as a whole hate the game for its more whimsical/shonen/super sentai tone of “friendship and understanding” and just want a cringey “angst” fest (aka angst that just excuses horrible characters) like 16 (and to be fair a lot of other things in the franchise too). but like imo its not the worst. the vas are clearly doing a good job and the artist too, and its cool and cute to see ivy in the game, even if its just a seasonal

-the others i dont rlly care abt. if i liked e ir at all i def dont after she screwed over an entire country and her presumable former friends there just because she found out her birth family’s world is a place she likes better. like its awful what she went through but imo she still killed a person for no reason when she couldve just told the truth, and even if it would have been painful she should have taken responsibility for her position. but whatever its very eh. and thats all my thoughts pretty much. actually suprised f jorm wasnt the duo but whatevs

-the new story/new oc: i was rooting for all 4 alfr to get resplendent/ect darn it! oh well. it looks like most likely peo and plumie will be the focus (which is good for me bc i love plumie but i wish tri would get good things too ; ; ) and hopefully tri and peo will actually get scenes together acknowledging their relationship as sisters (esp as it was alluded to in last years peo! gosh i hope so pls.) bc b4 screwed them over (esp tri) big time with its fruitless and nonsensical “plot twists”

-another thing that im really happy abt is that the temptri stories (except b3 for... reasons) tend to not involve the main cast of the game, which honestly is a breath of fresh air. b2′s one was horrendous bc of the dragons and the retcons, but it could have been so much worse. 3′s too if im being honest. e irs obsession w the main cast is... very regrettable but also understandable, so it wasnt too much detracting imo. im just hoping they keep this up with b4 and dont fucking involve those horrible and ridiculous “plot twists” from book 4. can we please just fucking forget any shitty changeling stories/plotlines in any media ever pls. (except m l p. youre cool you can stay. cough cough unrealistic expectations for this kind of story cough cough)

-that being said plumie + peo is hilarious and sweet. plumie calling her a little petal or something is so funny/cute. and my kasuplumie shipper heart is like “aw plumie took up nicknaming people from kasumi!” like this is character development done right take notes b2 temptri. i think itll be really wholesome if they do end up being the ascendants for this year, seeing them become friends. i would have liked tri but i feel like it also fits as the two of them are the more active of their groups (mira is really passive, and i feel like tri is more distant than aggressive like plumie is). so plumie being super jaded and scornful + peo being really caring with no strings attached and self sacrificing will be really wholesome to see if it comes to pass

-new character: interesting that theyre a rearmed but ok saitama face. people are saying maybe 4/5 next but i feel like it could be 17 (and add less royalty characters- maybe one of the younger siblings, the player character, side characters/enemy only? morion pls im politely asking). i think the best case scenario is theyre the queen from the past, that would be wholesome to have her actually meet kind friends in the alfr. kinda like another character i dont really have anything against her when she was a child- she kidnapped and forced children to work for her just bc they were poor and from a bad home life as an adult, but as a child she was abused by her peers and only treated well by her brother bc he wanted to marry her off to them. like her actually meeting nice people and getting standards would be great but idk if itll happen.

-also just fucking release that dirtbag in the next mythic. just let the memes die. im sick of this guy and ive been sick of him for years. glad hes not much plot relevant.

tldr the good news is i get to save orbs bc i spent them all on not getting shez wooo (sarcasm) (also donny is so pure im so glad hes the free unit!!!! get hype!!!)

[nineliabilityrisk]

considerably long sleep deprived blog management ramblings (+ question that i would appreciate input on) below the cut. apologies if i sound a little insane ive been up for almost 24 hours because my brain is going too fast to let me sleep (the downsides of being autistic and fixating on your own fucking five nights at freddys roleplay blog)

ive been trying to keep this blog mainly canon characters bc thats just. easier overall (dont have to explain every little thing abt them) but like. hhhfgh. i love the character dynamics the muses that i have offer me but like. they have very very concrete roles in the story. they have their Places.

now, i very much enjoy these roles. i enjoy playing them, i enjoy planning things to do with them and developing on them and i very much enjoy the way the people i play them WITH add to the dynamics on their end and add their own insight on my characters as my interpretations are not fully formed and likely never will be. yall r great im so happy to have found you guys.

but also. i have a very specific set of characters. other than the animatronics, i have the afton boys, cassie, and jeremy fitzgerald. and this specific set of characters are all very restrictive in a very specific way.

michael is. the human punching bag. this blog has just turned into me bullying him and like. not that im complaining, i just wasnt expecting the muse for him to hit me that hard. he has taken over this blog and that was not what i had planned. the thing with him is: nine times out of ten, when he is interacting with someone else, he is not a participant in a conversation. he is a target. that is just due to the nature of how his life is. he is the protagonist of a franchise of survival horror games. other than a few select family members and maybe like. henry, charlie, and jeremy, he doesnt have positive relationships with anyone. which means he is a GREAT source of angst or conflict, which i love to write, but it also means he doesnt provide many other forms of interaction. he may have a few soft moments here and there, with his mother or with henry, taking care of him and giving him reprieve from his father, but... thats about It. unless he finds some new friends, he doesnt do lighthearted, funny social interactions, and i highly doubt my michael will find any romantic partners for a long time. he is great at what he does. i just need to find balance between him and my other muses because i dont want my blog to be me just beating this poor guy up 24/7. thats just cruel.

evan - only really knows his parents, siblings, and maybe charlie. hes a baby. probably wasnt any older than five or sixish when the bite happened. very very good for soft, comforting moments. unfortunately , incredibly limited in who he could reasonably interact with. i mean, feel free to prove me wrong, but im coming up with a blank here.

cassie - also a child. would be good for more psychological horror type threads like how ruin was, but i do not feel comfortable putting her in real physical danger. mainly, just like evan, she is a muse i want to keep safe and comfortable, no matter how much it disregards canon. i am very very touchy around my younger child muses, for obvious reasons. yes, i am aware this is the Child Murder Franchise. no, i am not going to let you Child Murder my fucking elementary schoolers. full stop. also, moving on from that, likely wont get much interaction outside of security breach muses or muses with sb verses. once again, constricting.

and then theres jeremy. lets be real here. he has no canon connections to anyone. hes the only one with any actual connection to the fnaf 2 location, and thats just about all we know about him. obviously, hes basically an oc already. my jeremy is close to michaels age, so hes not gonna be involved with just about anyone else - hes just fucking here, basically. just SITTING here. hes my favorite child i wanna play him so bad im here waving him frantically at passersby hoping for interaction but its no use because theres nothing to work off of to START interactions. that is nobodys fault but mine. my dumb ass got attached to Background Character #43 and now i cant let him go. hes the abandoned doll collecting dust on the corner of the shelf because nobody plays with him. he barely exists.

BASICALLY, all of that mess was to say that i need to diversify my roster - i need a muse that i can throw at whoever i want. no pre-existing canon connections to anyone to complicate things, no timeline constraints until we possibly build one of our own, just, fucking. Miscellaneous Fazbear Entertainment Employee #4067 that i can put in Situations.

if i actually went through with making a fnaf muse like that, would anyone be interested in interacting with him or would i just be making a guy in my brain and then putting him on the shelf next to jeremy?? genuine question please help.

[rockslesbian]

hmmmm im wondering if im ever gonna see any criticism of rian johnson/natasha lyonne's poker face bc its like that kind of lib-"progressive" pro-cop propaganda thats really dangerous and nonsensical??? it was like "meh whatever ive sat through criminal minds" until episode 4

starting the episode with two women who seem completely justified in their murder of the guy who convinced them in the 70s to join HIS lil movement (they even said he had cult leader vibes?) and then suddenly moving to Actually All Murder Is Bad by the end of it??????

even if i was on board with the whole OMGGGGG BOMBING THE MODEL UNION IS UNETHICAL thing..... wasnt it the idea of the guy who RATTED THEM OUT AND THEY MURDERED EVENTUALLY..... And even if it wasn't his idea it was because of him that they were there that night and he tipped them off to the feds. who opened fire on all of the protesters.

again. the idea is the feds/ have the right to open fire on these protesters bc Omg but they were gonna kill children!!!! which is not a thing. you cant just murder them when u get the tip. even in the tv show????? like ive never seen anything like that thats pure propaganda to get people used to the idea that if cops open fire on people they must have done something to deserve it hello?????

then charlie is completely fine with once again getting the feds involved and having these women arrested, not at all acknowledging that the guy who got them almost killed was in witness protection for years and they were supposed to... forgive him???? and its all played like they're crazy old bitches with paranoia like hello they were on the ground dealing with cops they were in prison for ages they have ptsd like theyre traumatized fuck you

also this whole "killing high schoolers" shit is so dumb and badly thought out bc if you took that out they would have been completely in the right if anything it just sounds kinda stupid or like it wouldn't have worked out. this is also propaganda bc i dont know if anything like this actually happened in history so it implies that the fbi is good for keeping these stupid low down hippies from hurting our poor future of america

LIKE idk it was awful i was rooting for those ladies the whole time the comedic timing of the random old annoying lady was so stupid like idk natasha lyonne became the villain real quick and the episode ended on a bad note! now shes friends with a cop and a fed! am i supposed to be happy!

i know a lot of murder mystery enjoyers don't care enough abt these things but its hard to suspend disbelief in someone who goes "im not a cop" and then takes two cops phone numbers like thats not.......

[boobchuy]

here is the ramble that made me hit tag limit for the first time in the entire *checks calendar* five??? years??? ive been on this hellsite??? they are doing things to my mind.

thinking abt sashanne tonight but honestly has it ever even stopped since commander anne dropped. they are sooooooo skrunklies. little losers.

like ive also been leaning into the popular characterization of anne being mad at sasha and the latter being a loser and just them being idiots and having drama in general. but like sometimes i think abt how these two genuinely care abt each other.

laugh about their first reunion in amphibia all u want, but in the lens of being a teenager/13 (more or less 15 but u get my point) even though its silly its what makes it genuine and theyre happy to see each other again and they dont try to hide that happiness at all!!! like they are literally kids. and they do care for one another!

in the future these reunions no longer have that kind of enthusiasm. theyre more. subdued. anne was suspicious as hell in the second time but the third time had her running into sashas arms once more!!! and thats what i kinda want to psychoanalyze rn like.... anne def deserves to go apeshit and she HAS multiple times and though it would have been nice and awesome to see her still hold some kind of visible grudge/anger towards sasha, theres just something very sweet to me abt how anne will literally just.forgive the people she cares about time and time again.

like, we all know it bites her back in the ass and yeah maybe its not really her intention to be so forgiving in the sense that everyone deserves a second chance and that shes ACTIVELY trying to spread kindness and love all around- to repeat what i said earlier, she is just a kid. yet shes still someone who wants whats best for everyone and would rather have everything be okay rather than dwell on the past. what shes mostly doing is just focusing on another goal in mind, like what mr matt braly said himself, that for the first time in the entire show, she actually has a mission! going back home was more so in the background and wasnt that urgent in previous seasons, and this new one, about saving her friends and defeating andrias, is whats giving her the drive to finish a job, for better or worse.

and in the end of it all, im wondering if she’s ever given herself the space to breathe and process what she’s feeling about all this. i wonder if she’s even stopped to consider that it’s something that she should do! i feel like... annes the type of person to brush off her own emotions and dwell on them by her lonesome unless someone pries, and even then, i dont think it clicks in her head that its important to talk about these things, and not in the way that they dont matter (though if u REALLY want to delve into that then yeah maybe theres a bit of her thinking it isnt important), but i guess... that everything else that is happening, should be the things that are being given attention

sorry for rambling abt annie b when i said this was about sashanne akjdhfkf let me get onto that...

SO. you know that popular surge of angst art of anne being mad at sasha (THOSE WERE SO TASTY BTW. SASHANNE WAS AT AN ALL TIME HIGH). and instead of that we just had anne instantly running to hug sasha!!!!! AND THIS PART. THIS TINY ALMOST UNNOTICEABLE PART THAT I ONLY CAUGHT ON MY REWATCH, THAT LINE. AFTER ANNE CALLS OUT HIS NAME AND HUGS HIM.

“You’re alive!”

THAT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. this makes me go crazy. the fucking implications. how many nights has this girl spent dreading if her friends are still alive. if she thought that sasha was... in danger, and w her saying in the new normal that she knows marcy, the one she WATCHED get stabbed in front of her eyes, is alive. that she has to be. i just. just how much are you keeping to urself. keeping from EVERYONE.

to go along w me saying that she's not really processed enough about everything that's happened where she has recognized the... issues that comes w being betrayed like three times in one day, I like to believe that... w the few times she's maybe thought abt sashas betrayal, that once she saw him on wartwood that day, all pretense of negativity and hurt were swept away with the relief that he's here and safe and alive. and I think, w that massive burden on the shoulders w having to save two friends, and seeing one of them accounted for, I think she desperately wants to hold onto that bit of happiness and positivity. and why she's so quick to want to believe that sasha has changed for the better

then we go to the part where she accuses sasha of manipulating her again. and we all knew at some point that a moment like that was coming from a mile away, but what really made me lose it was when alex posted the board version. where she’s literally fucking tearing up as she’s saying these things. bc she hates having to admit them, when she missed sasha so much, worried for his well-being, and to think for a second that she was just being fooled again hurt.

so with sasha’s outburst came with another relief, to believe that sasha has changed for the better, with how much she helped wartwood and the resistance. and her to scrape away past hurt w being betrayed, and just. be friends with sasha again.

to add more onto... less serious musings and more headcanon territory lol, with me being an advocate of oblivious and dense anne, i like to think that anne just. loves to cling onto the idea of sasha, both literally and figuratively. like, she wants things to be okay again, and sometimes it just feels surreal to know that sasha’s actually here, and she doesnt have any kind of bad intentions, and that these feelings manifest into her being affectionate as hell

commander anne showed her being the one initiating all these hugs, the second one having her being so excited at the prospect of their relationship being changed for the better that she fucking squealed. this girl, i stg aksdjfhk. but yeah, i like to think that she becomes way more touchy w sasha, whether w hand-holding, hugs or just generally being near sasha’s vicinity. im thinking that these actions dont necessarily register in her head, like she just does them, bc it makes her happy and sasha hasnt told her to stop even if he does still freeze from time to time whenever she does it so... yep :)

[m0tel6mxzzy]

a rant on monet de haan and “but og gossip girl was old money”

not to bitch abt racist og gossip girl fans but im gonna bitch abt them. i REMEMBER yalls tone when the show first got promo before it even aired, and weren’t even willing to give it a chance, u just made assumptions bc the entire cast wasnt white. 

 ppl, specifically og gg tiktok fans, were saying the old show “gives old money” and the new show doesnt, conveniently forgetting chuck’s dad wasn’t born into wealth but became wealthy when chuck was young, making him new money. his dad is worth 22 billion dollars. 

monet’s parents are heirs to a new york pharmaceutical company and on her wiki its listed that her family descends from old money. johnson and johnson is one of the biggest and has a net worth 435 billion as the wealthiest pharma company in the us. bc im lazy and dont feel like counting means and stats for the top 10 pharma companies in the us relative to ny, im assuming the de haan company has a networth of 100-400+ billion. whatever her family’s networth is i will happily believe it is more than chuck bass.

and monet’s parent’s donation of the wing had to occur sometime after everyone in the og show including jenny’s grade had graduated constance bc it wasnt yet canon, but just before monet had gone there. if we’re talking as soon as jenny’s grade had graduated, thats between june 2010-aug 2018, and monet would be 5 to 13. i’m going to average that the time the wing was planned to be built was 2014 when she’d by 9 bc i love the idea of little monet dreaming of going to constance with absolute certainty, and bc 2014 is a prettier number. my theory is that greyson and camille were planning to have monet go to CB St Judes ever since she was a child, hence the early donation.

anyway her parents literally paid for wing in constance and it has their names on it w the money from an old new york pharma company they own. and yall are like,,, dying on the hill she, bc she’s part of the reboot, wasnt born into wealth??? and even if she wasnt i know yall didnt just forget the og gg had poc on the show who were also old money or otherwise so loaded rich they could afford constance, but usually they were background characters like the minions, nelly yuki, and raina. the minions who literally only served to do blair’s bidding, and nelly yuki who was opposed bc blair saw her as an academic rival and was willing to sabotage her.

 and then raina thorpe whos one of the only black girls in the show w a prominence in the og series, but idk. she’s moreso there bc she was w/ nate and chuck, but also her dad is basically a “villain” in the show and raina gets the short end of the stick and has to suffer for it, which is when she leaves the show. im just saying ofc someone the same race as monet or luna or aki would be happy to see themselves represented on screen and not as a background character or recurring character there only a short amnt of time if they loved the og gg. 

and if you personally aren’t? cool thats ok but let ppl who are be happy. you dont need to mount some moral high horse pretending u care abt poc to defend why u hate us being represented in media. yall complain whenever poc are shown in media even when it isnt a reboot but rather an extension of the franchise such as star wars, so i find it hard to believe ur crapping on new reboots in media for having poc bc u actually care abt us being properly represented. 

like, factually racism is the only thing convincing yall the old gg is “old money” and the new one isnt. also we need to have a talk abt what yall constitute as old money, bc hf twitter stayed hating on alexa demie for her early 00s fashion for being “cheap” as if paris hilton also wasn’t dressing kinda like alexa currently does in the early 00s while also happening to be an heiress to a hotel brand. and as if hf twt doesn’t constantly worship the air bella hadid breathes for wearing low rise jeans and baby tees which is just as much y2k inspired as what alexa wears. 

like,, yall think all rich people, w/in ur very narrow view of what rich old money ppl look like, only ever dress in ralph lauren polos,,,and it’s not even like yall read the gg books to know the og characters wear burberry and ralph lauren which any tiktok old money “connoisseur” would hate for being “flashy,’ but because its in the list of their weird arbitrary rules of crap all old money rich ppl apparently do. if the reboot characters wore burberry scarves and ralph lauren polos w giant logos on the front yall would complain they arent following ur made up rich ppl rules u think applies to everyone who’s an heir to fortune. 

yall just forget abt raina and hated gg2021 before it even aired all bc it starred poc, and bc its weird seeing a rich it girl in a position of power who doesnt look like blair or serena. for the de haans to have the money to donate a wing to the school and pay monet’s tuition on top of that and live in the excess monet does simultaneously kinda shows like,,how fucking rich monet is. therefore the attitudes of the students make a lot of sense. and if blair was treating a teacher the way monet does bc she had a wing dedicated to her parents, yall would eat that shit up whether blair was old money or not!!!

listen im a huge gg fan but i also pay attention!!! i am not letting monet de haan slander slide!!!! im all for her being as entitled due to her wealth and carefree as blair was!!! bc blair did some f’ed up shit yet monet being snide w a teacher gets yalls feathers ruffled...and we all know why yall wouldnt have the same reaction if it were audrey doing the same but thats none of my business 

[rivetgoth]

I think for me transsexuality is just like. very physical and not very mental, if that makes sense which it probably doesnt. One of the biggest primary things that kept me from being able to actually come out as trans confidently was the terminology that the community was switching over to at the time ie. replacing terms like transsexual with transgender or replacing sex reassignment surgery with gender affirming surgery, replacing ftm with trans man, the prevalence of terms like transmasculine to refer broadly to any afab person who identified with anything broadly considered “masculine,” this would have been back in like 2013 or early 2014 when i first recognized that i was vaguely “not female” but didnt have a full grasp on myself and what i actually wanted yet.

i think so much of the trans community discusses identity and “gender” as this like. mental thing, or even societal thing, this idea or this concept thats intangible and like. thats all fine but i feel like i never necessarily had a relationship to this idea of gender or one’s gender being changed or affirmed by various means. my desire to transition came from a physical discomfort with my body and any desire for differing treatment socially came from the awareness that i was being treated in accordance to my physical body and how people perceived it, when it wasnt the body I wanted at all to begin with. Like. uh. I remember my early questioning as a young teen and preteen usually was stuff like, “if I could just step into a machine and immediately change my sex to male I would but its not worth the trouble of transitioning and having to undergo these big surgeries and hormones” and frequently trying to like, mentally bargain with the universe basically being like “i would HAPPILY be a woman if i could just have a male body.” etc.

in a world where gender didnt exist i would still be trans because i would not be able to live a comfortable fulfilling happy life in the body i was born with, regardless of how we conceptualized gender or identity or pronouns. if i lived in a society where every human being used she/her pronouns and was called girl i wouldnt care abt that but i would still have been literally unable to have healthy relationships with other people until i had my top surgery. i still wouldnt have been able to even jerk off without feeling suicidal until I was on T.

stuff like being misgendered or treated “like a girl” is purely like, the social reminder of my physical self and as ive transitioned further and further towards a body i’m happy with the blow has been lessened to being practically nonexistent, altho i still dont like. want to be called a girl lol i still would like to be perceived as a man in society. i dont feel any attachment to womanhood or being female and i never ever have. i never identified with being a lesbian or a bi woman, i never really had female friends, i always related to male characters and had primarily male friends and looked up to men, i never even really felt like the misogyny i experience/d was the same as the misogyny experienced by peers who identified with womanhood. but i also dont feel like womanhood or manhood or whatever is some complex deep intrinsic thing tied to sex or whatever idk.

i guess like, it harkens back 2 the fact that i feel like being nonbinary or genderqueer or whatever is almost inseparable from transness, even if you are by definition “binary.” I dont actually think nonbinary/binary is a binary lol. i think my identity is so tied to like, my physical body, and my desire to craft my body into something i actually feel comfortable with, to create an exterior that matches what i feel on the inside, my dysphoria manifesting as something similar to phantom limbs or severe dissociation and disconnect, and by EXISTING in society as someone who is transitioning and transsexual thats not going to exist in a binary.... especially as like, a bisexual man, and as someone who has fully decided by choice to keep my vagina and enjoys being penetrated by men and women alike, like that alongside an identity that is contingent on the physical being makes me feel kind of innately “not binary,” even if i dont identify as “nonbinary.”

i dont think sex is binary. i think its something that is very much mutable and changeable and its also not really a real construct, like there are objective realities found in nature of basic expectations of different sexes but theres literally no reason that these things need to be permanent and unchangeable, i feel like i DO relate to the concept of both defying my natal sex as well as changing it, hence the terms like transsexual, ftm, or sex reassignment like, resonating much more than anything 2 do with “gender” which i dont really even feel a connection to. when have trans people ever been fully given the privilege of being perceived as a certain gender? i dont even feel like cis lgb people fully have that privilege. being kinky and gay and trans its like abundantly clear how much of these identities are hinging on cishetero reproduction and the nuclear family and if i dont have access to or the desire to partake in any of that then what does being a man or being a woman even mean?

idk. this is very rambly and i dont necessarily expect it to make sense or for everyone to read it, but its just a lot of thoughts i have about gender and sex and shit. i feel like my identifying as stuff like “a trans man” and sometimes even a man at all feels like... out of.... practicality? because its the best easiest way to convey an innate desire to change and shape my physical self and how i want to be perceived by society. i feel as much “male” as like, the way society perceives male animals lol, like contingent on the preconceived notions of a physical reality that i am actively choosing to manipulate and change. gender isnt something i feel like i have much relationship to, i dont even really relate to like, masculinity or femininity really, as concepts, i dont relate to the term transmasculine for that reason, i wouldnt even call my presentation inherently masculine or feminine, and i think in part that has to do with being goth too, as ive said before goth presentation is genuinely, unironically very different than non-goth gender nonconformity and its literally perceived differently both within the community and at large lol. like i feel like as masculine as someone like nivek ogre or al jourgensen but it feels kinda jarring to realize that they themselves fit the definition of “gnc” by most people’s standards. hm. idk!

i wish i could just look like this