#was reminded the reason why I only read my mutuals fics now

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Simon Riley is a provider but he’s not a toxic one let’s be realistic

[two-white-butterflies]

★ — imgonnagetyouback | max verstappen

Description: Max ends the relationship with a phone-call.

Pairing: actress!reader/max verstappen

Disclaimer: Everything written in this fanfic holds no truth about anyone's personality or actions. It is made purely for entertainment.

A/N: everything i do used to be inspired by the 2014 ver. grimes. reader is unhinged as her, but gets development in the end!! THIS IS AN ODE TO THE "MONSTER" TITLED FIC I READ ABOUT LEE PACE.

"Let's break up."

Let's break up.

You could still hear the aftertaste of his voice on your ears. How nonchalant he sounded while denying a relationship of seven years. Why was he quick to leave? Did he find someone else?

You sniffled, wiping your snot with a tissue on your right.

I'm gonna get revenge.

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yourname: me, the dogs and @edmundquandt

liked by 728,391 others

>comments

maxversworldargentina: huh isn't she dating max? did u break up?

reversethismess: Who is he?

victoriaverstappen: ❤️

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Y/N L/N AND FORMULA ONE DRIVER, MAX VERSTAPPEN CONFIRM THEIR BREAKUP.

Yesterday UMG Inc. Agency released a statement to SSN confirming the breakup between Y/N L/N and her Formula One boyfriend.

The pair began to date each other in 2017, where Verstappen was accepted into Toro Rosso and Redbull Racing. They have been together for 7 years and have been dubbed as the most iconic couple in the Formula One paddocks.

Rumors between the two splitting emerged late March, however the couple affirmed that they were still dating each other. On December, however the netizens were greeted with radio silence.

According to L/N's team: the breakup was mutually agreed upon, as they grew apart from all the travelling required for their job.

>comments

grills93: I can't make it go away by making you a villain, I guess it's the price I pay for seven years in heaven.

lnworld: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND HER NEW INSTA POST WITH EDMUND???? NOOOOOOO

carshfo: she defo cheated with edmund bcs no way lol

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Max's pulse was racing at the sight of you around another man's arms. Seeing your arms wrapped around his shoulders, leaning into him for balance as you laughed at a joke that wasn't funny at all. "- and then we found out that there wasn't a building in the hotel with those rooms." Edmund finished his joke.

By that time, you were already laughing uncontrollably.

Max clenched his jaw.

A piece of his heart regretted breaking up with you.

"Control yourself mate, he's a big investor." Yuri reminds.

Max didn't give a flying fuck. He didn't own any Redbull stocks. He's a good driver, this Edmund Quandt has nothing on him. His features only soften once he remembered the reason why he broke up with you. He wanted to focus more on his career. He wanted to test the pond for more fish.

He needed upgrades on his car.

Fuck.

He needed to chafe his knees for this guy.

"Funnily enough, when I was in Texas I had a similar encounter. I knew exactly what to do." Edmund placed a hand on the small of your back. Max prevents his eyelids from twitching.

Charles smiles, showing the crowd his dimpled cheeks. Charles always had the ability to charm other people. He was perfect, and now he's friends with Mr. Quandt whom he only met.

"I'm sorry for asking this Edmund, but are you two...?" Charles paused, allowing the other man to fill in the blanks. Edmund smiles - pearly white teeth and a godly physique.

Max doesn't fail to observe the glance that Edmund gives you, a look that asked for your permission.

"We're dating each other, for a month now - but we're still testing the waters." you chuckled, ignoring the presence of your ex-boyfriend despite his figure melancholily staring at you.

"I just want to put a ring on her." Edmund admits.

The other people fade into the background.

"My father always says, give her a ring with a big diamond so she won't be able to see how much of a monster you are." he teased.

"You're not a monster." your eyebrows merged into each other.

Max wanted to punch the air.

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yournamepriv: i love this big baby 🥺 @e123456

liked by 92

>comments

haileybeiber: i love this for u omgg

sophierichiegrange: So cute ❤️🥺

e123456: You got my good side! - yournamepriv: Ur good side is 360 degs

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Max takes a deep breath. Again.

You forgot to remove him as a mutual in your private account. And he was greeted by a picture of you kissing Edmund Quandt. His mind raced through a million different thoughts. Regret, anger, resentment - but they were mostly filled of regret.

He didn't appreciate what he got, and now it's gone.

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maxandynfanbase: do you get deja vu? 😭

liked by lewishamilton and 72,192 others

>comments

mercyplease9: EDMUND IS SO TALL??

ohnoaosd9: lewis we can see u 💀

holyhell1: i like pic 2 more

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yourname: visited some mangrove swamps with this big baby. 🥺your integrity makes me seem small... #savethemangroves tagged: edmundquandt

liked by maxverstappen, lewishamilton and 1,283,923 others

taylorswift: You and Edmund have the KINDEST heart. - yourname: thanks taytay i wanna see u and trav here next time - taylorswift: Will do! I'll tell you when my schedule clears up. - yourname: love u ❤️

haileybeiber: We love a momma who cares

sophierichiegrange: <3

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"I can't believe she's out there helping the fucking mangroves." Max places his phone on the couch.

He couldn't believe your sudden change in tune, that drastic of a change to come from someone like you? "She used to complain being in the EU because it meant not using plastic straws." he breathed, still choosing to believe that you were like him.

Still the same crazy. Still the same stupid.

"She's really being fake for him." he shook his head.

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yourname: i totes know how to play 🎾 this friday we're having an event for all the young racecar drivers that unfortunately can't afford to pursue the sport. all proceeds will go to @bmwfoundationsports and the @grandprixtrust !!

liked by edmundquandt and 1,283,912 others

>comments

edmundquandt: ❤️

CharlesLeclerc: Will be in attendance. 🫡

oracleredbullracing: We love a Queen with a good heart

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maxverstappenupdates: Max Verstappen in @bmwfoundationsports and @grandprixtrust.

liked by kellypiquet and 23,392 others

>comments

youalloverme: HE LOOKS SO SAD...

maxismybf: Hadnsumm

posyposie: wondering if a dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life

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He takes another sip of his whiskey, forgetting about the cameras that snapped his figure left and right. There were a million things he wanted to say to you, but he wanted to start with a question.

"I never imagined seeing you change yourself for a guy." he scoffed.

You turned around with your eyebrows raised. Flabbergasted at his insinuation. "Change myself?" you repeated the word, finding it to be hilarious on his tongue.

"The whole save the earth, save the kids thing - you don't care about that. I understand though, money is money and your boyfriend has a lot of that." Max allowed the alcohol to speak in his behalf.

"You don't have the right to talk about me or my integrity. You abandoned me, remember?" you argued, feeling anger pulse through your veins.

Since he left, you tried to make yourself better.

"When I was with you, we were both horrible people. Quite literally the rich people cliche that we promised not to become. I guess you were right, we weren't growing together - and now I've become a better person without you - all because of Edmund." you gritted your teeth, grabbing the champagne on the table before the media realized that the 'ex-lovers' were talking to each other.

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(PRE-EDMUND QUANDT.)

I'm gonna get revenge.

That night you planned to ruin his chance at winning by exposing a flaw in the car that would allow the other drivers to overtake him. A button outside of the car - with the engineers that could remotely turn off a key engine that allowed his car to move faster.

He told you about it because driving at that speed endangers his life, and if you were the only one in the administration panel that knew about it - he made it your duty to push that button.

You grabbed your laptop, sneaking inside the garage. "What are you doing?" a voice emerged from behind you, and you momentarily stopped with the program.

You turned around - only to be greeted with your ex-boyfriend, Edmund Quandt. A man that your parents adored. A man whom everyone thought was going to become your husband, and he was here - behind you. Looking at you.

"Just grabbing my things, I won't be here anymore." you lied. Despite your obvious lie, he chose to give you the benefit of the doubt. He always kinda chose to see the better side of a person, rather than thinking the worst of them first.

"Oh why is that?" he asked with a smile. "Because of things..." you evaded the question - not wanting to rant about your other ex-boyfriend that broke up with you because of a phone call.

"Are you done with grabbing your things?" his eyes narrowed.

"Oh yeah." you breathed.

You had to evade your plan of revenge.

"Do you want to grab some coffee?" he offered.

"Of course."

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Max Verstappen I'm really sorry for doing that. Must be all the Whiskey I drank 😅

Y/N L/N Drunk actions are sober thoughts, Max

Max Verstappen I still shouldn't have confronted you It's just really weird seeing you post things like save the turtles, donate to the kids we never gave a fuck about those 😆

Y/N L/N Yeah, I didn't care about them But now I do We used to be the same but now we aren't

Max Verstappen ?

Y/N L/N You broke up with me because you wanted to focus on your career Because all you care about is money and success We both got stuck on that We didn't see the value in other things When we broke up, Edmund brought me back to earth Opened my eyes to the privilege we've been granted

Y/N L/N Take this as a warning Max The high life isn't gonna last forever

*blocked*

[tkaulitzlvr]

Can you maybe write 2010 toms reaction and hc's for the reader being pregnant?

UNEXPECTED - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: you have to tell tom some unexpected news, and his reaction isn’t what you had hoped for.

content: angst

a/n: thank you so much for the request, i am so bad at head canons so i just did a fic, i hope that’s okay!!

my hands shakily clutched at the test, tears rolling down my flushed cheeks as i hoped that somehow, my eyes were deceiving me. positive, the test reads, the eight letters staring back at me, reminding me over and over that they are very real, and i can’t back out of this.

tom and i were always careful, using protection every time we had sex to stop things like this from happening. we were young and foolish, as every 21 year old is, not ready to welcome a child of our own into the world, the thought of it scaring me so much, never thinking that it would become a reality so soon. it wasn’t that we didn’t ever want kids, but tom was constantly on tour, away from home for weeks and though i always went with him, it just wouldn’t be right to take a child with us. we had always discussed starting a family, both of us coming to the mutual conclusion that now just wasn’t the right time.

which is what terrified me even more, tom’s reaction worrying me as i just couldn’t guess what it would be. he was currently at the studio with the band, and he would be home any minute now, evening dawning over us as he had no idea of the news i was about to bring to him.

i sat on the couch, the test stuffed into the back pocket of my jeans, my eyes fixed on whatever was on the tv, but my mind was elsewhere, waiting for the door to open and tom to walk through it, praying that he wouldn’t freak out. there was no time left to just hope, the door handle turning as tom steps through, baggy jacket clad to his figure, reminding me just how cold it is outside. he takes his shoes off, announcing a quick “i’m home my love”, before entering the living room, a smile appearing on his face once he sees me.

he walks towards the sofa, sitting down beside me and embracing me in a hug. my body begins to shake as i can no longer hold back the tears, tom noticing and quickly pulling away, studying my face and the sorrow etched upon it.

“baby, what’s wrong?” he replies, concerned, holding my face and kissing my forehead, attempting to wipe the tears as he awaits my response.

“you promise you won’t get mad?” i manage to let out between sobs, my words almost inaudible, yet he clearly understands what i say, his eyebrows furrowing slightly.

“what? why would i be mad? you can tell me anything, you know that.” he says, much more composed than i am, his heart aching to see me in this state. “now what’s wrong? please, talk to me schatz.”

my eyes meet his for the first time, bloodshot and glassy, whilst his hurriedly scan my face, the worry only increasing in his own as every second passes that i don’t confess. i can’t bring myself to say the two words “i’m pregnant”, because the second i do, it will truly become real, my mind in some twisted sort of denial, telling myself that if i don’t admit it, it will somehow go away. so, instead of saying what is wrong, i decide to show him, reaching hesitantly into my back pocket and placing the pregnancy test in his hands.

he looks downwards, finally seeing the reason why i am so upset. his body tenses up, his mouth hanging open in shock the only thing he is able to do. i cant tell if he is happy, excited, or completely angry, all i know is that he cannot believe his eyes. the tears continue to spill down my cheeks, praying that he will reassure me that everything will be okay, but the twisting feeling in my stomach provides me with the terrifying realisation that i’m not going to receive that comfort.

“please say something.” i whisper, my voice shaky as he still hasn’t moved or even looked at me, his eyes fixed on the pregnancy test in his palm of his hands.

“is this real?” he mutters, refusing to look at me, his hands trembling a little.

“it’d be a pretty fucked up joke tom.” i reply, angry at his ridiculous question but not in any position to consider causing an argument, knowing that is the last thing i need right now.

“i just- i don’t know what to say. i’m not ready for this.” he confesses, finally looking upwards as his gaze meets mine, his eyes now glazed with tears, yet he isn’t sad - i see a glare within them that cannot be mistaken for anything else but anger.

“i’m not either tom, you know this. i don’t know what to do.” i put my head in my hands, sobbing even more now, my breathing fast and irregular. my mind longs for any sort of comfort from him, even a little reassurance, a half-hearted ‘it’s gonna be okay’, even though it would be a lie, it would be the most perfect one he ever told, because it would give me a million times more consolation than i am receiving right now. but he stays silent, biting his lip, almost as if he is stopping himself from truly speaking his mind.

“i can’t do this.” he finally says, standing up and walking out of the living room, exiting the house as he closes the front door behind him with a slam.

my breathing begins to quicken, my heart rate increasing as the worst possible scenario is suddenly becoming true in front of my eyes. if me finding out that i was pregnant wasn’t enough, tom leaving only placed the cherry on my cake, a sickening sense of guilt now punching me in the gut, stabbing a knife in the wound as i begin to feel nothing but completely stupid for letting this happen, blaming it all on myself. my sobs are muffled within my hands as my head rests there, my entire body trembling as i long to be in his arms, him telling me that it would be okay, that we would get through this. instead, the cold air is my only company, leaving me in it’s icy embrace, giving me the constant reminder that i am alone.

it is this reminder that sticks with me until my eyes begin to feel heavy, my body falling into a deep sleep, providing me with a temporary distraction from reality.

warm hands. two large, warm hands are what wake me from my sleep as they caress my face gently, contrasting with the coldness of the entire house.

“love?” i hear a familiar voice whisper, finally opening my eyes to see tom kneeled beside me, his own bloodshot from crying.

“why are you here?” i ask, anger quickly filling my veins, the reminder of how quickly he left, betrayed me like it was nothing, flooding my memory.

“i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have left like that. i was just so shocked, and i backed out, and i shouldn’t have. we can talk about this, if you’re ready to.” he softly says as i sit up, moving his hands off my face.

“you left me.” i mutter, the tears already threatening to fall. “i wanted your support, and you left me. you fucking left me when i needed you most! do you know how shitty that feels? all day, i’ve felt guilty, and i find the courage to tell you and then you fucking bail on me?”

“i know and i’m so sorry my love. i didn’t expect it, i reacted in the wrong way-”

“what you think i did expect it? you think i’ve been throwing up for the past two weeks and i wanted it to happen? do you know how hard it’s been to hide my suspicions, because i didn’t want to scare you until i knew for sure, and then you run away because you didn’t expect it? the one time, the one time i fucking need you here and you leave me.” i sob, my voice breaking as i shake my head, standing up and walking away, tom quickly following me to the kitchen where i stand, my front against the counter, head in my hands.

he says nothing, but wraps his arms around my waist from behind, his thumbs running along my stomach comfortingly, lips pressing small kisses on my shoulder as i slowly begin to calm down. we both stand in silence, tom never loosening his hold on me, finally speaking up once my breathing has slowed a little.

“i’m sorry. i’m so so sorry. you didn’t deserve that at all. i promise you, i’ll never leave you like that again, not for a second.” he whispers, turning me around so that my chest is flush against his, his arms securely around my waist.

“why did you do that tom? you have no idea how scared i am.” i say, my words slightly muffled as my head is buried into his t-shirt, my arms clinging onto his neck.

“ i’m so sorry. i’m sorry.” he keeps repeating, kissing my forehead over and over between his words, never once letting go of me.

“what are we going to do?” i sigh, appreciating the fact that we have made up, but knowing that it doesn’t change the situation or make the reality any easier to swallow.

“i don’t know baby, i don’t know. but whatever you decide, i’ll be right here, always. i promise, i’ll always be here.” he affirms, and the sincerity of his voice tells me that i can believe every single one of his words.

“i love you tom.” i say, the words slipping from my mouth naturally as they are the only ones that come to mind.

“i love you too.”

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

📖🔧😢🩹🥰

I am literally binge reading all of your DD works and I just have to thank you for your absolutely incredible writing! 😭🙌

There are very few fics of Lonny out there, so is there anyway we could see how he’d react to seeing the person he’s had a crush on (reader) having witnessed what he did to Bud? Like I just want to hug him and tell him it’s okay and that it was an accident. Little baby didn’t mean to! 🥺

Forced Limitations - Lonny Crane/Reader

Warnings: No use of Y/N, gender-neutral reader, canon rewrite (the first half hour for now), lots of panic, canon violence, character death (Buddy 🥺), co-workers to friends to ride or dies, angst, hurt/comfort, mutual crushes, this one is heavy but if you've seen the movie you'll expect it.

Wordcount: 9486

Summary: Today was supposed to be such a normal day. You were even going to maybe talk to your crush this time if he didn't say anything first. So why were you now hiding in the basement of your work while you crush stared you down with a bloodied wrench in his shaking hand and fear in his eyes?

Notes: My first Lonny! Thank you so much for reading first of all 💗💗💗 it's because of you guys and your wonderful support for my writing that I'm enjoying these as much as I am! As requested this is an au of the movie down to the dialogue (forever grateful to mediarips with subs included hehe), get that lady outta here I hate her, but because I left this open-ended I might just have to write a part 2 if I can figure out a way for them to both escape 😏 For now I hope you like this, he really didn't mean to and this has been weighing on me since I saw the movie /)o(\

Today was just supposed to be another normal, boring day at work. 

You didn't have much going on, nothing penciled into your calendar on your apartment wall, no reminders in your phone, in fact it was probably the most normal your day could get. You left on time, grabbed yourself a coffee and a box of donuts to share with everyone you worked next to, and of course didn't forget the separate Boston Creme just for the cute handyman who smiled at you whenever you caught him staring. You blushed already thinking about him, neither of you had really talked, but you knew he was a sweet guy just based on your minimal interactions with him outside of your donut drop off. 

He wasn't very social, he stuck to his partner's side like glue for the most part, and Bud was also a good guy, extremely knowledgeable and able to solve any problem you guys brought to him before any of you could even figure out what was actually wrong, but sometimes you wished you could just have a conversation with Alonso by himself, get to know him a little better. You'd been trying for days now that you knew he preferred the Boston Creme, a popular donut in your group that tended to get snatched up fast from the random assortment you were always gifted. 

You’d been getting the baker's dozen with his as the 13th was your attempted way to start something, but so far he'd just noticed that his donut was there and unsnatched, sent Bud over to grab it before anyone else did, and then wandered off to eat it somewhere he wouldn't make a mess for anyone to step on, like the cafeteria on the ground floor. 

You wouldn't let that happen today you decided as you pulled into the line to get into work, security giving everyone a random check today for some reason to make sure they all worked there. That was odd, but you'd heard whispers that they were thinking of upping security around here anyway, something about attempted break-ins, so you just got your ID ready, popped the trunk when they asked, and kept on driving until you found a place to park. You gave a wave to Bud when you saw him head for the door, Alonso not with him as usual; he always came early before the rush, you could only guess the swarm of people made him uncomfortable, and you had to admit he had the right idea as everyone shuffled towards the door.

‘Weird about those men, isn’t it?’ you asked him as you flashed your IDs again to get inside, one card after the other to allow you entrance. ‘I mean, I get the extra security, but they looked like they were searching for something.’

‘Poor Lonny must’ve had a hard time with them, he’s always here as soon as the lights come on,’ Bud figured, the two of you walking through the lobby until he started to veer away towards the elevators. His place was in the basement, their own special break room down there while they monitored everything whenever something didn’t need to be looked at, and you pursed your lips with a glance down at the box in your arms before chasing after him.

‘Hey! Hey, uh, I was wondering if maybe you could… escourt me down to the break room today, maybe leave this for Alonso if he’s running late?’ you suggested nervously, no one other than those two usually going down there, but the other man just looked you over a moment but chuckling to himself like he’d just realized something.

‘Ha, imagine that; c’mon, gotta get you to your desk before Bossman notices you’re down there,’ he told you before leading the way, and as payment for his tour he grabbed his own donut first on the way down. ‘Never come down here without either of us, this place is a real maze with a ton of hazards, and also be sure to watch your head, you never know what’s gunna hit you until it’s too late,’ he warned as the elevator came to a stop, and you closed the lid of your coffee a little tighter before following him out. 

‘You know I’ve never been down here before, not even when I started,’ you told him as you walked, your eyes taking in everything and nearly allowing you to bump your head just as he knew you would, his hand coming out to protect your forehead before you knocked it off a low-hanging series of pipes.

‘Don’t think many of the people upstairs have, it’s mostly just me and Lonny and the occasional fill-in whenever we call out, that’s not often though, Lonny’s a very hard worker, y’know.’ You were too busy ducking to notice the glance he gave you when he was done speaking, the place indeed a maze as he led you right to the middle where their solitary room to themselves was hidden; inside was a small kitchen against the left wall, a table with two chairs against the right wall, the others folded up nearby since they were unneeded, and four lockers tucked against the far right corner. 

Only two of them had names, the company had only needed them once it became clear that they made a great team and rendered more help unnecessary, and Alonso was indeed in as he sat at the table and ate a bowl of cereal. He looked up when he heard Bud arrive, and he was in the middle of a hello and a wave when you walked into his view; instantly his eyes went wide and his cheeks flushed, and you watched as he turned away from you and tried to swallow the mouthful of cereal he was now choking on a little. You’d surprised him, that much was obvious, but it was blush that had you freezing as your own heated your face right up despite the chill of the room.

‘Well, now that I’m clocked in I’d better check out that problem from yesterday, y’know the one, way up on the 6th floor, you can handle things down here for a bit, right?’ Bud told Alonso as he quickly grabbed his orange uniform and started pulling it on, the other man fumbling his words and dropping his spoon when he received an encouraging rub to the back of his head that messed up his long hair. 

‘Bud!’ he yelped as his desperate cry to not be left alone, and then it was just the two of you, very much alone while his cereal turned to mush. ‘Uh… hi,’ he said after a while, his hands hurriedly straightening his hair back down so he wouldn’t look a mess, and you could only murmur the same before you realized the burning in your palm was actually because of your coffee.

‘Shit, ow, can I set this down?’ you asked him quickly as you rushed for the table, and he nodded as he cleared a space for you, the rest of the table covered in old newspapers and magazines to read so they could pass the time on slow days. ‘Thanks, I uh, I wanted to make sure you got this, you know how the others are,’ you stuttered nervously, his chosen donut thankfully avoiding being crushed by your worried hands only because it was set safely on top of the large box.

‘Oh, thank you,’ he stuttered right back, this was the most he’d ever said to you since you’d started working there, Bud usually doing all the talking for him while he just listened. His eyes lit up when he saw that you’d gotten his favourite and it made your smile grow wide, your hands shaking a little less as he carefully peeled back the paper from the bag in order to save the chocolate on top. ‘I love these ones, growing up it was always the first picked by my siblings, so… I’m glad you keep bringing them to work, I always get here before that place opens,’ he shared with you before taking a bite, and you felt your heart skip a beat at the simple joy of tasting something delicious spread across his face.

‘I didn’t know you had siblings,’ you said as you took the remaining seat, your coffee reopened and your own donut chosen while you took a sip, and he looked at the door before sitting with you, your chairs so close together that your knees touched before he moved away. This was now the closest you’d ever been as well, and you realized you’d much rather risk being late in order to hear more than head upstairs and start working.

‘Four of them, I’m the youngest,’ he told you between bites, his cereal forgotten as he licked cream and chocolate off of his fingers a moment before going to the sink and washing his hands with a bit of embarrassment. ‘You- you’d think growing up in a family that big I’d be able to talk to people better, right?’

You took a bite of your own donut before shaking your head, and he seemed surprised by your answer as he sat back down again. ‘Family is different, sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers than your own flesh and blood,’ you thought aloud, and he listened intently in genuine interest. ‘But, you don’t have to be afraid of talking to me, I don’t bite…’ Your face lit up and you distracted yourself with more coffee at your choice of words, but he didn’t have the same problem as you as he tucked his hair behind his ear and really thought it over.

‘I- I’ve been trying to, actually,’ he muttered almost to himself, and you set your cup down to listen this time, ‘but every time I see you you’re always surrounded by people.’

You thought to yourself a moment before opening the box again and offering him a second donut, and Alonso looked between them and you before picking another and starting on it. ‘Well, guess I’ll have to stop by here every morning then, so we can talk,’ you offered, and he seemed genuinely happy about it as he flashed you a nervous but hopeful smile. You were smiling back when your phone went off, one of your cubiclemates was asking about her donuts, and you swore to yourself when you saw the time. ‘I’m late, I gotta run back up, but it was really nice talking to you, Alonso.’

‘Lonny,’ he said as he stood, and he towered over you as he handed you the box, ‘you can call me Lonny, everyone else does.’

‘Alright, then it was nice to officially meet you, Lonny.’ His smile was so infectious and wide that it made you wonder why it’d taken you so long to do this, and by the time you reached your floor you were practically twitterpated to no one’s surprise.

‘Finally talked to Tall, Cute, and Silent?’ your friend asked with a knowing smirk, and you made a face back at her as you presented everyone with the treats that were left. They devoured them like animals until only the crumbs were left as usual, and as you tossed out the box you found yourself already planning on maybe inviting him out for lunch today if he was interested. As such, you didn’t pay much attention to your work, just tapping out slowly over the keys while you took in no information, and when the speakers you didn’t even know were above you suddenly crackled to life it actually made you jump you were so distracted.

‘All employees, no matter what you’re doing, please stop and lend me your full attention,’ the announcement began, everyone around you having the same reaction of, ‘What’s going on?’ ‘There are currently 80 of you in the building. In eight hours, most of you will be dead.’

Your blood ran cold, this had to be some kind of joke, but when you looked around you saw that no one was laughing.

‘Your chance of survival increases by following my orders, and excelling at the tasks I place before you,’ the speaker continued, his voice surprisingly calm and almost a bit excited at what he was saying, and you started to feel sick at the thought that this was real, he was completely serious, and that was why security had been so tight when you’d arrived. ‘Your first task is simply this: Murder any two of your fellow employees within the next half hour.’

You spilled your coffee, the dark liquid spreading over your desk and onto the floor, but no one cared between those who were listening and those who’d already decided that this really had to be a joke.

‘How they are killed, or how they are chosen to be killed, is of no consequence. But if there are not two dead bodies in the building within 30 minutes, you will face repercussions.’

‘This isn’t real, right?’ you asked your friend, her face calm but you could see it in her eyes, that doubt that was taking hold of you. ‘I mean, they aren’t really asking us to kill each other, are they?’

‘It’s all bullshit, probably some test to weed out the bad employees, you know there’s a few on the 5th floor who could stand a good kick in the pants,’ she said dismissively, but when she waved her hand you didn’t miss the way it shook.

‘Still, I don’t like this, I’m gunna- I’m just gunna take a walk, see what the others are saying.’ You stood when the voice never returned, stepping through your coffee and leaving tracks of it after you as you headed for the elevator, the basement button staring at you as the urge to press it and see what Bud had to say about all this hit you like a truck; he was a smart guy, and Al- Lonny would be there too, if he wasn't afraid and didn’t believe it then that would be enough for you. You hit the lobby button instead and tried to breathe when the entire building shook, a series of rumbles making the cables shake just enough to scare you. Your hands splayed over the walls to brace yourself until it was over, and when you reached your destination you found not only a gathering already there, but also the cause of the quake.

The front doors as well as the windows were now covered up with what looked like a blast shield, something that was supposed to be for protection now trapping you all inside. Your panic rose even higher, the familiar faces of your co-workers now warped into confusion and worry, a few of them even attempting to break the walls down to get free but to no avail. You started to shake when the elevator beside you dinged, and the relief that washed over you when you saw Bud and then Lonny exit was so strong that it nearly knocked out your legs from under you.

You followed after them as they spoke with someone from one of the floors higher than yours, Mike; he was a nice guy, there was nothing bad you could say about him, but he was serious now as everyone gathered around to whisper, your hand hovering just over Lonny’s back as he concentrated and didn’t even notice you. ‘What d’you think, Mikey? What’s this all about?’ Bud asked him while they stared what was supposed to be the front doors down.

‘I don’t know. You think you got a way to get through it?’ Mike wondered, tensions rising as your superiors tried to take charge and calm everything down in the distance.

‘Blowtorch could do the job, but I don’t know how thick it is,’ Bud offered up, already calculating what needed to be done based on all his years on the job. ‘It could take a while.’

‘What if we try cutting through one of the walls first?’ Mike suggested, his eyes moving to the normal concrete instead. ‘Wouldn’t it be easier to try and get through cement than get through whatever that is?’

Bud shook his head, repeating just the word no to himself with such certainty that it made you finally latch on, and Lonny jumped and turned to see you behind him. You looked up at him, unable to force a comforting smile when you saw his eyes, so he made one for you, his hand over your shoulders and rubbing your arm before he turned back to Bud, he’d have a plan. ‘This metal surrounds the entire building,’ he told them, the other man with you speaking up next.

‘So the whole building’s covered?’ he asked only for Bud to unfortunately confirm it, there was no knocking down a wall and escaping without getting through that metal first.

‘It’s worth a shot, though, right? The blowtorch?’ Mike confirmed before they could lose hope, Lonny glancing down at you and holding you a little tighter.

‘It’s worth a try,’ he agreed with a nod, and you weren’t sure if he was talking to Mike or to you when he said it. Bud then also noticed you were there when he went to pat Lonny on the back and smacked you instead, and he apologized before the two were walking away, your shoulders already hunching up without him there; you’d only just spoke that morning, which felt so long ago now, but you felt safe around him, if this was really happening then you could protect each other, and you went to follow when Bud noticed and held you back.

‘Easy now, just stay with the group, we’ll be back in a minute,’ he told you reassuringly, and you glanced over to Lonny before nodding and going to find your friends. Everyone had run to the lobby with the raising of the shield, and there was now no doubt between you all as you gathered in the corner and watched the others talk amongst themselves.

‘They’re gunna try and burn a hole through the door, see if we can get out that way,’ you whispered, not wanting to spread the plan in case it didn’t work, ‘they just went down to get the blowtorch, they’ll be right back.’

‘You gunna stick to your boytoy when he does?’ your friend joked so suddenly that you felt the need to reprimand her to for saying that first of all, but the second you looked at her you saw that she was just making jokes to hide the fact that she was fucking terrified. So you let it slide, your hand rubbing her shoulder just as Lonny had done to you.

‘I dunno, do you guys have any ideas?’ you asked them, each one shaking their heads.

‘I heard a few people went to the roof, we could try that,’ another suggested, but you didn’t like heights all that much to begin with, mixing that with the current situation might actually make you faint.

‘You can go, I’m gunna stay here, see how the door goes,’ you decided, and your small group split up just as your boss walked into the room along with the two men just below him; one of them was a real asshole, you didn’t bother with him, your focus on Mr. Norris as he spoke.

‘Hey, listen up, everybody, okay?’ he called out over the room, his voice echoing even louder thanks to the shield. ‘I’m Barry Norris, the COO here, for people who don’t know. Listen, I’m very aware that this is a very… hell, to say the least, a very strange situation here. But I don’t believe there’s any cause for panic, all right? We’re still trying to figure out exactly what the situation is, but I’m certain there’s a rational explanation. This is a government building. We think maybe somebody put precautions in place in case of a military event. Obviously these walls. Now, someone has clearly discovered this feature, and they’re having a little fun at our expense, okay? Whoever’s doing this, the object is to get all of you upset. So let’s not play into that, okay? Let’s just remain calm, chill out, and take a few minutes to figure out exactly what’s happening, okay? So, thank you. I’m gunna go work on that. And I'll circle back to you as soon as I can. Thanks, everybody.’

It made sense, it was a long speech but it did make sense, but there was a part of you that couldn’t forget the checkpoint this morning, how everyone had been searched so carefully… no, this felt planned, and when the elevator pinged you grabbed your friend and hurried right on over. There was no time to stop and chat, the men before you were on a mission, and you gave them space to work as they put on their protective gear and fired up the blowtorch.

You’d never seen one in real life, why would you ever need to before this? And the blue flame drew you in as Bud held it against the metal until an entire minute had passed. The two of you leaned in at the same time when they sat back and lifted their goggles to see what the damage was, Lonny using a cloth to wipe away the dark burns. You couldn’t hear what they were saying from there, but you knew it wasn't good when Lonny then touched it with his bare hand despite the heat of the flame. You held your friend a little tighter as Bud then did the same, this wasn't good, if not even a blowtorch could break through this stuff then what hope did you have of getting out even if this was just a cruel joke?

You let go of each other when you realized you were sweating, your comfy work shirt turning into something stifling at your closeness, and when you looked around and saw that everyone else was in a similar state you knew that this wasn't just nerves. ‘It’s too hot, they’re gunna suffocate us in here,’ your friend mumbled as she wiped off her forehead, the sweat starting to bead again the moment her hand moved away. ‘This is bullshit, why hasn’t anyone come for us yet? Screw this, I’m heading to the roof for some air, you coming?’

‘No, no you know I can’t go up that high,’ you said quickly before starting to head for Lonny, you needed to know what was happening before your anxiety started to take over again. She stopped you in your tracks, tried to pull you right back while they kept trying, her grip on you way too tight in this heat.

‘I think you need to get over that shit before you pass out down here, look around, look at everyone right now; it’s sweltering in here, I just saw Willy burn through three bottles of water by himself, so why don’t we grab a few, take the elevator, and get some fresh a-’

She never got to finish her sentence, the back of her neck exploding out and making her fall limp into your arms, the too tight grip she had on you now nonexistent as you stared down and screamed. Everyone turned towards you before it happened again, another person falling before someone shouted, ‘Somebody’s shooting!’ Everyone took cover from your attacker, your body frozen in fear until you felt more hands on you; Lonny grabbed you and pulled you over to the chairs where Bud was already ducking down, your friend falling from your arms and to the floor as you were forced to let go.

Pandemonium erupted all around you as you hit the floor hard, your back pressed to his chest and both him and Bud protecting you when you were still too numb to protect yourself. There were so many screams, no one knowing when they’d be shot next, but even when more people went down all you could do was stare at the lifeless eyes of the person you’d been working next to for the past 3 years. You felt cold despite the heat, Lonny’s panicked breathing right in your ear while you didn’t hold him back, and only when Mr. Norris, or Barry, now, there was no more chain of command after this, walked over to one of the bodies did everyone stop panicking long enough to feel confusion over his bravery at still standing.

‘What the hell?’ you heard Bud whisper above you when Mike ran over to join him, Barry’s voice loud enough for everyone to hear over the ringing silence.

‘That’s not a bullet wound.’

More of them gathered but the three of you stayed where you were, waiting to hear what was going on, but their voices were lower now, they couldn’t believe what they were seeing. Bud leaned away from you a little to listen, but the moment he did Lonny started to panic, and you felt a bit of life come back to you as you weakly held his arm to let him know you were still there. Instantly he looked down and held you tighter, you were his lifeline now that the bullets had stopped flying, and when you looked back up at him you saw the way everyone was touching the backs of their necks out of the corner of your eye.

All at once you felt your hand raise to your own, your knuckles brushing against his shirt as you felt the scar under your fingertips, and the fear replaced everything numb inside you until it was all you knew.

Mike realized something and ran, Bud watching him go before getting up and silently asking the two of you to follow; you did, your fear only spreading to Lonny as you held each other, but Bud remained calm as he opened up his toolbox and reached inside. He pulled out a hammer and large wrench, and the former was heavy when he handed it to you and tried to get Lonny to look at him. He said his name and made him only hold you harder, it was starting to hurt, but you’d rather feel that than the cold wood and steel under your palms.

‘Hey, stop. Don’t cry, okay?’ Bud told the man behind you, and you looked up to see that he was so afraid he was actually crying, his hands trembling as they bunched up your shirt. ‘Take this, and say goodbye, alright?’ He pressed the wrench into Lonny’s hand the moment he was able to get him to let go of you, and it looked even heavier than your hammer as he held it before you. ‘Let them go, and follow me, we’re gunna fix this and I need you to watch my back.’

‘But…’ He didn’t want to leave you, and you honestly didn’t want to leave either of them after losing your friend, and Bud leaned in closer and lowered his voice even more as he met your eyes.

‘Find a place to hide, we’ll find you within the hour, don’t come out before then, you hear me?’ he told you sternly yet carefully, they’d be sitting ducks in the basement if people started actually killing each other as commanded despite the maze, and your safety needed to come first while they worked without worry. So you nodded, Lonny nuzzling into the side of your head with a whimper that any other day would’ve made your heart flutter, but now it could only break as Bud helped him let go. You stepped aside and watched as Bud wrapped his hands behind Lonny’s neck, kept eye contact until he was calming again, and when he asked for something called a duke Lonny just nodded before pressing his forehead to his friend’s.

That’s what made them such a good team, you knew Lonny to be a good worker but it was thanks to Bud being there to keep him level that he was able to shine here, and you hated Belko for ever hiring the both of them along with yourself now now that you knew what they were doing to them. Not everyone who worked there was great, even you weren’t a saint, but Lonny was pure, and you regretted every single morning where you’d only looked but never approached when he met your eye and turned away.

Bud went to lead the way back to the elevator, and you knew as soon as the doors closed that you couldn’t stay up here, not alone with this uncertainty. You watched your co-workers, all of them strangers to you now, run after Mike when shouts came down the hall, but you didn’t follow after them; you needed to hide, just like Bud said, and even if they might be sitting ducks that didn’t mean you had to be in that maze. You hit the button and took the elevator down, making sure to take the long way around to the break room and go from there. You knew something like hiding under the table or cramming yourself into one of the empty lockers wasn't really feasible, but there were a ton of other hiding places nearby it, maybe if you even hid well enough you’d be able to hear them from a safe distance away and get their attention if anything happened.

You kept your head on a swivel as you walked, made sure you wouldn’t bump into them and make them send you elsewhere where anyone could find you, and you were just about to loop around when you noticed a door that brought you even further in. You opened it, a long hallway ahead of you, and you decided on it as you jogged down and found a closed off spot to duck between. It was tight, but you were successfully hidden from view, and it gave you a good vantage point of anyone who might come across you as you curled up and held your hammer close to your chest. 

You’d gotten all of two seconds to strap in for the long haul when you heard the door open again, and you held your breath until you heard Lonny’s voice echo down the hallway: ‘They’re trying to freak us out by shutting down the air-co, man,’ he was telling Bud, and your moment of relief only slipped back into worry when it hit you that if anyone was bound to find you in here it’d be them if they stopped to look. ‘That’s their plan, right, Bud?’ A pause, Bud was silent as they walked, and that was only making him nervous again, you could hear it in his voice when he asked him for confirmation again. ‘Do you think it is, Bud? Do you think that’s their plan?’

‘I don’t know, Lonny,’ Bud said exasperatedly, he was letting his own panic show when he couldn’t give him a solid answer, and a pit landed hard in your stomach when they turned and stopped not 10 feet away from you. They started checking out the machine against the wall, which you soon realized was the air conditioning aka the thing that was currently not working and making everyone overheat in their own skins, of course you’d stop at the one place they needed to be, but it was fine. They were so distracted by it that you could continue hiding and then they wouldn’t have to worry about sending you out there again, so you remained silent and just listened while they tried to figure it out. 

Bud turned on a light and confirmed that it wasn't working right at the source, every breath you took sounding like thunder in your ears when you realized that if he turned then he’d be able to see you, your focus too much on the barrels to your side to protect yourself from that angle. ‘How can you tell?’ Lonny asked as he stood by, Bud crouching down to take a closer look.

‘I can hear it, man,’ he said with a grunt of effort as he sat. ‘The pilot’s off. Everything.’

Lonny looked around to make sure no one else was down there with you, like they’d only just done it and were waiting to make sure they couldn’t turn it back on again. ‘Did they do it?’ he nearly stuttered as he turned back to him, Bud still focused entirely on the large machine in front of him.

‘I don’t know if they did it or not,’ he admitted as he started to flip switches and peek inside with his flashlight, nothing happening as a result, ‘but, we’re gunna fix it.’ 

‘They’re trying to break us down so that we start killing each other, Bud.’ Lonny’s voice was low but you still heard his words, he had the same train of thought as you, and you nearly stood up so you could at least stay with them a while until Bud spoke again.

‘You just need to relax, all right?’ he told him comfortingly, he wouldn’t let him worry about that just as much as you wouldn’t have if you’d stood up right now and went to him, and you decided you’d do just that when the speakers whined to life again.

‘I hope by now we’ve demonstrated that we aren’t blindly bluffing,’ the man on the other end told everyone, and you felt your legs lock up to the point of it being painful just at the sound of his voice. ‘This game’s a real one. Each of you are deep inside it. You can choose to follow our directives, or not. Either way, you’ll be giving us the results we’re looking for.’ You shut your eyes and shook your head, your hammer not nearly as comforting to you as Lonny’s arms had been earlier, you needed to stand, you needed to go to him-  ‘You are mostly free to do as you please. However, you must not dismantle any more cameras. And you must not remove the tag from your body. Next time we will not provide a countdown as we did Mr. Milch.’

You started to pant at the thought of Mike being dead somewhere upstairs because he’d caught on to what was hiding beneath your scars, that must’ve been the cause of the yelling, you needed to get up-

‘If you break either of these rules, your life will abruptly end.’ You felt like stone as you helplessly watched Lonny start to cry, the threat of himself being next strong enough to make Bud stand and try to calm him again, but there was little he could do at this point. ‘There are currently 76 of you left in the building. The time is now 12:47PM. By 2:47PM, in two hours, we want 30 of you dead, through whatever means necessary.’ He started to panic harder, you could help, if you could just open your mouth and tell them you were there you could help- ‘If 30 of you are not dead, we will end 60 of your lives through our own methods. Begin.’

He was inconsolable, his hand on his head as he started to pace over the stranger’s words, and the only reason you weren’t currently doing the same was because as long as you knew the two before you were safe then you couldn’t give a fuck about the people upstairs killing each other anymore. You tried to move but your legs refused to listen, this was your moment to show him how you felt for him and help keep him safe, but every single part of you was buzzing, your head spinning as you repeated those words to yourself over and over instead; you couldn’t get out, you were all trapped inside while tensions rose, and if 30 people didn’t die in two hours then double that would be murdered instead, which made your chances of survival even slimmer. 

If you didn’t help him and then find a way to keep him safe, while also finding it in yourself to kill to protect him, then you would both die, that was a certainty. He was a nobody compared to everyone upstairs, and even then their lives were all weighed the same, what chance did he have going up against someone who fought tooth and nail to get to where they were when he couldn’t even approach you for a donut?

‘L-Lonny…’ you gasped out, your voice lost under his sobs while Bud tried to console him again.

‘Hey, hey, Lonny, it’s gunna be okay…’ he was saying, but the moment he tried to hold him again he lashed out, the wrench given to him to cover Bud now wielded as a weapon to keep himself safe.

‘Get back off me!’ he screamed in his panic, Bud giving him his space as the desperation in his voice made your foot start to tingle as the numbness faded away. ‘Don’t look at me like that, man,’ he pleaded, Bud silent all the while, he wasn't about to upset him while he was panicking this hard. You wiggled your toes until you could move your ankle, your whole foot rolling and kickstarting the rest of you back into action, just a little longer now- 

You let out a shriek when the fire alarm then went off, the sound startling you so hard that the numbness completely faded away from the pure shock to your system. This was good, you were moving again, but the sound was too much for Lonny, your smile of relief falling when you saw the way he was holding his ears. His panic attacks were so much more severe than yours, his anxiety loud and jumpy and raw while yours made you quiet and frozen, but you wouldn’t be still this time when he yelled out loud enough to block out the ringing.

‘What is that?’ he demanded as his pacing worsened, your legs slowly shifted underneath you while you started to rise.

‘Lonny, calm down, man! It’s just a fire alarm!’ Bud tried to tell him but it was of no use, his yelling over the noise was only aiding his own frustration, and your knees shook as you pushed yourself onto them, you were almost standing.

‘No, it’s not! They’re trying to make us kill each other,’ he sobbed desperately, the wrench waved around when he motioned towards Bud and himself.

‘Easy, cowboy,’ Bud kept trying, his eyes following Lonny as his pacing got even worse, and you moved yourself onto your feet at long last. ‘Chill out, man! Hey, come here-’

‘Get back!’

He swung on instinct, a defensive maneuver in his uncontrollable panic, and you felt yourself go numb again right as you got ready to stand; the sound of the impact was louder than the alarm, a sickening crack that made your stomach churn, and Bud crashed into the fence separating them from you as he reached for his head. He groaned as he tried to stand up straight, Lonny staring at him in a deathly calm fear as he silently mouthed his friend’s name.

‘Wait a second,’ Bud mumbled, his shoulder slumped and your mouth going dry when you couldn’t confirm where he was hit with his back to you like this. ‘What just happened? Hold on, uh… wait, wait. Something is happening.’ His voice started to grow soft as he slid down the fence, and when he fell you figured out you were crying when you blinked and felt a cascade of tears roll down your cheeks.

How did this happen? This morning everything was so normal, it was almost boring to you in its simplicity; you’d bought your crush a donut and actually spoke to him, you were planning on inviting him out to lunch even because you’d finally hit it off, how did that turn into this so fast? You couldn’t understand it at all, your attempts to console Lonny now too late as he fell to his knees and weakly crawled over to his friend to apologize. It fell on deaf ears though, even you could tell from behind when Bud stopped moving, the kind man who’d given you your hammer and helped make sure you were safe now gone as Lonny sobbed over him.

The alarm finally quieted as you both kneeled there, neither knowing what to do until he finally looked at Bud’s face, his eyes so sorrowful until you saw the way they looked to the right; he was staring directly at you, your hiding really hadn’t been good enough, and his sorrow turned back into terror when he saw the look on your face. Instantly he was on his feet and that forced you to move as well, he was panicking again because he knew you, you were his friend and you’d seen what he’d done, and now it was your words that went unheard as you held your hammer a little tighter and hurried out of your hiding place.

‘Stop!’ he ordered you, your shoulders hunching and more tears falling at the tone of his voice, so unlike the way he’d spoken to you about his family with smudges of chocolate decorating the corners of his mouth. ‘Bud, he fell down and he hit his head,’ he explained miserably, but you’d seen it all, you couldn’t pretend you didn’t.

‘It wasn't your fault, Lonny,’ you tried to say but he ignored you, moving like a caged animal on the other side of the fence as he stared you down, he needed you to believe him, you were his friend and he needed you to believe all of it.

‘He tried to grab me,’ he moaned next, the two of you inching closer and closer to the opening until he was reaching for you, assuming you were only there to run. You held up your arms and stayed where you were, his own hand pulling back the moment he touched you like he’d been burned but he didn’t retreat, the wrench still in his other hand as he waited for you to do something. 

‘Lonny, Lonny, it’s okay, look, I know,’ you said quickly as you purposely let go of the hammer, his eyes watching it before you kicked it as hard as you could towards him as a sign of understanding. He glanced back at you before scrambling to pick it up, he had two weapons now, a hit from either one would be enough to make you reach the same fate as Bud, and when you finally got a glimpse of him you let out a gasp of misery. His head had been caved in, that’s what had happened, and Lonny waited for you to run again now that you’d seen what he’d done. You didn’t though, you wouldn’t, not when he needed you.

You made a show of getting back on your knees to tell him you wouldn’t run, your hands planted firmly on the cold cement to tell him you wouldn’t grab him, and he looked down at the hammer in his other hand before tossing it behind the machine to his left so it was completely out of reach. You nodded, agreeing with his decision, and he looked at his wrench next, his only weapon but still the thing he’d used to kill his friend, and he looked like he didn’t know what to do next.

‘It was an accident, it’s not your fault, I’m not afraid of you,’ you whispered to him, and he sniffed loudly before tossing the wrench to the ground. He fell to his knees and covered his face as he sobbed heavily, his cries echoing throughout the room along with his apologies to Bud for what he’d done. You waited until you couldn’t any longer, your numbness gone as you crawled over to him, and this time he didn’t bat you away when he peeked through his fingers and saw you coming. ‘I’ve been trying to talk to you for months,’ you told him, more tears spilling over the gaps and down his hands, ‘that’s why I keep bringing donuts to work, I’ve been waiting for you to come over so I could say hi to you; I wanted to do it sooner, but I’m a coward, that’s why I couldn’t be there for you earlier, I didn’t mean to watch I’m just a coward-’

He lowered his hands and wiped his nose with his sleeve, the tears still falling as he inched his way towards you. You were the one loudly crying now, if you’d just called out to him then this wouldn’t have happened, maybe you could’ve helped him, maybe if you’d just invited him to breakfast and skipped work entirely then you’d both be out there right now, and you didn’t realize you were saying it all out loud until he wrapped his arms around you. ‘He just grabbed me, I thought he was gunna hurt me,’ he whispered into your hair, and you finally held him back and sparked his desperation; he pulled you nearly onto his lap with a shuddering gasp, his hands clinging to you as you clung right back, the body of another dead friend staring up at you as all you could do was hold each other. ‘It was an accident, I’m not a bad person I’m not I’m not-’

‘I know, I know you’re not,’ you told him over and over until he was burying his face into your shoulder. You knew it must be hell up there but you couldn’t be bothered to care, all that mattered now was that you both got out of there together, you weren’t going to just sit by like a statue the next time his panic overtook him. ‘C’mere, let’s get out of here.’ You stood and took his hand so he’d do the same, and you cautiously headed back down the hallway with the wrench in hand again, neither of you stopping until he led you back to the break room and locked the door.

You were now technically locked into a room with a murderer, but you couldn’t see him like that, not him, not Lonny as he walked over to the sink and turned on the tap. He let it pool into his cupped hands before splashing it onto his face, he was covered with tears and sweat just like you were, and when he turned back to you all of the water ran down his chest and darkened his uniform. His bangs were soaked and dripping down his face, his eyes just barely showing through them, and you walked over to him and silently asked for permission to touch him.

He flinched at first, but eventually shut his eyes and let you while the wrench lay just within reach, and you were careful as you reached up and brushed his bangs to the side. You tucked them behind his ears and grabbed one of the towels for their dishes before wiping his face off next, just barely brushing the fabric against him so you wouldn’t upset him. It seemed to calm him even more, his shoulders relaxing and his body untensing just a little more with each gentle touch. When you were done you took his hand and got him to sit, it was still too warm in there, and you noticed the old fan tucked into the corner for those extra hot summer days. You made sure it still worked before turning it on, and he let out a sigh as the coolness hit him and allowed him a bit of a reprieve.

‘Here, your shirt’s all wet, it’ll help,’ you began as you reached for his uniform’s zipper, but his hand on your wrist got you to stop fast. ‘It’s okay, look, I’ll do the same, see?’ One-handed you undid your own buttons, your face flushing as you stripped off your very sweaty shirt and laid it over the back of your chair, your body instantly accepting the cold air and making you shiver in such a simple delight that it could’ve made you cry again. He looked you over quickly before doing the same, his blue shirt underneath hanging over his own chair while his coveralls bunched around his hips, his undershirt stained and damp from all the layers and the lack of AC. ‘We can rest here a moment, I don’t think any of them will come down here, so we can talk about what to do in the meantime.’

‘You think they’ll come for me?’ he asked nervously, already panicking over getting caught, but you shushed him softly and kept your hand hovering over his arm resting on the table between you just in case.

‘I don’t doubt everyone is in a similar state upstairs, no one will blame you for that, yours was an accident,’ you said truthfully, but he still looked nervously at the door all the same. ‘I need to find out what’s happening, we only have two hours, less now, and I don’t care if I… if I have to kill someone to do it, but I’ll make sure we get out of this, okay? And we can’t do that if we stay down here in the dark, leaving it up to them and chance might just seal our fate.’

‘If you go out there you’ll risk getting killed yourself, you know that, right?’ he said seriously as he leaned in, and his hand closed over yours and pushed it down onto his arm. ‘We can hide down here, I know all the tunnels, every twist and turn, I even know how to get into the vents; going back up there means that someone else’ll get hurt, that’s what they want.’

‘I know, that’s exactly what they want, and I doubt they’ll stop at 30,’ you muttered right on the edge of hopelessness, but his hand on yours made you suck in a deep breath and sit up straight. ‘But I didn’t spend the past 7 months of my life wanting to ask you out to get killed now, no fucking way.’

‘You… you wanted to ask me out?’ he questioned softly, his voice just barely above a whisper, almost like he was unsure he’d heard you correctly, and you nodded for just a second before he was leaning over the corner of the table and kissing you. Your eyes went wide as his hand held yours in place, the kiss chaste and a bit desperate but enough to make your heart pound all the same, and when he backed away his hair fell free and into his eyes again when his head dipped down to stare at you. ‘I’ve been… trying to get Bud to tell you for me since I first saw you, but he never would, he just kept saying I should do it myself.’ He looked away then, something sad after being so soft. ‘And now he can never…’

‘But you just did,’ you reminded him, your free hand reaching up to push aside his hair again, ‘and I can never forgive them for doing this to us.’

He nodded, his head was a bit clearer now even though he was still upset, the fan and the silence were certainly helping along with your words. ‘I’m still afraid, though…’ he whispered, and you shifted your chair closer to him so that you could pull him back into a hug. His skin was still warm as your chests pressed together, your hug instantly becoming something more intimate when you remembered that you were attempting to cool, but it only bonded you more when you felt his hand leave yours in order to place itself over your back.

‘I am, too, but if they want us to play a game together then I’ll fucking play until I can pay them back for our friends.’ You placed your forehead against his, your hand on his neck and feeling for his scar, and you shut your eyes tight when you felt the line stretching across his scalp, just as your own did. ‘I don’t know how yet, but we’re going to get out of here, and if this ends and I lose you…’

‘Then you’ll keep going, yeah? You said it yourself, we only just officially met this morning, I k- I hurt Bud, you shouldn’t have to give up just because of me,’ he whimpered lowly, another tremble making you open your eyes again, and you hushed him once more before wiping away the first tear that fell.

‘That’s why we need to both get out of here, so I can invite you to lunch and you can tell me everything we never talked about, don’t we?’ you insisted, and he nodded against you and placed his own hand on the back of your neck, the covered spaces starting to heat up again without the fan. ‘We can do this, you’re strong, and smart, and I’m a coward but I’ll help you in any way that I can, we don’t even need to join any of them, we just need to let them tear each other apart and up the count for us while we figure a way to get out, and… and if need be we can protect each other, I won’t let them get to you like that again.’

‘But what if they do? What if I get so upset that I hurt you this time?’ He didn’t want to even think about it, his breathing starting to quicken as he pictured you in Bud’s place, and you kissed him soft and slow until you were all he could feel.

‘Then I’ll know it’ll just be an accident, because you’re not a bad person, and, if I’m being honest, I think you might actually be better than most of the guys in this place,’ you said with a small laugh, and he thought about it a moment before laughing along with you, a small shred of relieved happiness in these hours of pain. ‘Come on, we need to see what they’re doing, do you think you could get us up to the security room so we could check the cameras?’

‘I think so, there’s a maintenance elevator that only Bud and I can use, it’s away from the others so they might think to use it last, they need a key to get it to run,’ he told you, said key stuck to the ring and line attached to his belt, and you nodded and kissed him again real quick.

‘That’s perfect, we can leave in a minute, you stay here and check for anything we can use to protect ourselves, I’m going to get my hammer back,’ you told him as you stood, but he didn’t let you leave at the thought of you seeing Bud again, or never coming back at all. ‘It’s okay, I won’t let anyone take you away from me,’ you promised him, and then he was letting you go and watching you hurry out. You didn’t get lost on the way back, the halls silent and telling you that no one else was around as you ended up at your destination without trouble. 

There was Bud, still slumped where he’d fallen, and you closed your eyes for a moment of silence before kneeling down and closing his for him. You were just about to stand when you saw his own set of keys, and you unclipped them and attached them to your own belt loop before you heard a sound. You stilled, your eyes looking every which way for a sign of movement, but you saw nothing stand out in the maze. You narrowed your eyes and went back to getting your hammer, he’d really thrown it far to the point where you had to lay down and reach under the machine for it, and when you pulled back your hand it was covered in years worth of dust and webs.

You shivered and brushed it all off without a fuss, there were worse things to be afraid of down here now, and you hurried all the way back to Lonny with your own weapon in hand and a fire in your heart; you were going to get out of here, if you had to fight your way through this entire building to make sure no one hurt him again, then by god were you going to rain down hell on all who stood in your way, and when you returned to him and saw him standing there with his coveralls tied around his waist and his wrench in his hand you knew that he was ready to do the same for you.

[luvhhannie]

in every universe | y. jeonghan x reader

𓇢𓆸 synopsis: in every universe, judgement, betrayal and love seem to lead you and jeonghan to be destined to drift away. would there be any universe where destiny finally leads you two together?

𓇢𓆸 genre: romance, angst, mutual pining

𓇢𓆸 cw: major character death, cheating, self harm, suicide, references to nothing new, unrequited love, just angst man (not proof read)

𓇢𓆸 wc: 2.70k

𓇢𓆸 a/n: is this fic kinda related to my break up? who knowsss, get what you get from this fanfic. anyways, reblogs and hearts are very much appreciated! thank you for the support! 🤍

“let’s break up” you said as you stand firmly in front of your boyfriend, now ex, jeonghan. he looked at you sternly and sighed.

“okay.” he simply said. you gulped as tears suddenly fill up your eyes. you never wanted to break up with him, yet you knew that if he was the one breaking up with you right now, you would go insane. he suddenly opened his mouth.

“i’m sorry, really, i just don’t love you romantically anymore. we’ll still stay best friends, right?” he said. this is a healthy break up. you reminded yourself. you smiled softly at him.

“of course.” that was exactly a week ago before you found out he has been cheating on you behind your back. you were curious to see how he was doing so you looked through his socials when you saw he already had matching icons and bios with another person. you also saw that he has been commenting on the third party’s posts months even before your breakup.

“i just want you to be honest with me, jeonghan. was the reason for the breakup was because you didn’t love me anymore, or because you’ve been going behind my back MONTHS back into our past relationship?” you texted him. you only wanted the truth, you even dmed the other girl as you wanted to make sure that your assumptions weren’t real. yet her ignorant replies just proved your point that he knew what he was doing.

jeonghan denied everything you have said. you always trusted your gut feeling, so you cut him off completely, telling him that you were done with his friendship and lies.

“don’t ever contact me again, starting tonight. whatever happened to us in the past is nothing now. you betrayed my trust and i could never look into your eyes ever again.” you texted him, paragraphs by paragraphs, only for him to reply with two measly sentences.

“i don’t judge you for that but i don’t want to argue with you, proving that i am not a cheater. goodbye, yn.” that was the last thing you have ever heard of your ex. you always wondered if you did the right thing by cutting him off. but then again, he betrayed your trust and lied to you. you would’ve been okay if he said the real reason why he wanted to break up. this is the universe where your soul suffered the most. meeting him, talking to him and developing feelings for him over the years, finally loving him and having him as yours and you as his, then suddenly, ending as strangers all over again, but now with memories.

though, your soul might also think that the universe where you had passed away is the most miserable. in this universe, you had met jeonghan through your brother. you slowly developed a crush on jeonghan and began falling in love with him. from his sweet antics to his playful gestures. you were in love with him, so you decided to confess. the answer you got only got you in your worst state yet. you unfortunately caught a disease where unrequited love could kill you. either you lose the memories of the person you love to survive, or die loving the person you are infatuated with. your love for jeonghan was so strong you wanted to carry the sickness till your death, as long as you don’t forget yoon jeonghan.

in every universe, your love for yoon jeonghan is as powerful as the universal force. in every universe, you have found home in jeonghan, and so did he. in this universe, you and jeonghan were highschool classmates. you both had crushes on each other, yet no one made a move to one another, afraid of the other’s response. you two pined on each other, crushes slowly turning into love. however, on one faithful day, jeonghan finally decided that he will confess to you. unbeknownst to him, that was also the last day of you attending your highschool.

“i like you, yn. i like you a lot.” he confessed. you smiled sadly at him as you hold his hands.

“i’m so glad you do. i like you too. ever since we met.” you confessed back. you and jeonghan started crying and finally held each other’s body.

“i’m sorry, i’m moving away. i should’ve said something earlier.” you cried in his comforting arms. he sniffled and looked into your eyes.

“it’s okay, yn. let’s live this moment for now, okay? let’s love each other one last time here. promise me we’ll still keep in contact?” he asked you as he wipes your tears away. you smiled sadly.

“of course.” in this universe, no one cheated. but a promise was broken again. you and jeonghan never kept contact with each other, even during and after graduation. as time flies by, he already graduated college, and so did you. during one evening, one of his coworkers asked him if he wanted to go to one of his friends’ wedding. jeonghan being a good friend, he agreed.

finally at the wedding, jeonghan and his friend, seungcheol, waited for the bride to walk the aisle. seungcheol told jeonghan that his friend, and also coworker, joshua, was crying before the wedding started. joshua had told seungcheol that he was going to marry the most perfect person on earth and that he would die for her. jeonghan laughed at his story, thinking how silly the statements joshua had made when they finally heard the piano keys playing, indicating that the bride will soon start walking.

hearing the church door open, the guests started standing up and looking at the bride. jeonghan finally realized that joshua’s statement weren’t silly. the bride that joshua is going to marry really is perfect. the bride that joshua is going to marry is the same girl he dreamed of marrying back in highschool. he watched as yn walk down the aisle, trying to stop the tears coming out of his eyes. he silently watch the girl he has always loved smile to the guests, when both of them made eye contact. jeonghan thought that the world stopped spinning and everything was in stop motion. she took a deep breath and smiled sadly at jeonghan, continuing to walk towards her fiancé. jeonghan could only watch the two joyous couple in the background. finally hearing them both say their vows, jeonghan closed his eyes, letting the tears he has been putting up fall down to his cheeks. cheers and shouts erupted from the chapel as the newly wed couple share their first kiss. he knew at that moment, you have never loved him as much as he had loved you. he knew that you were never his. he knew that even if you deserve the love you have right now, he will never, ever, win it.

jeonghan’s soul might say that was the universe he had suffered the most. however, the universe where your mental health took over your body says otherwise. in this universe, you searched for treatments and help from professionals in the mental health field because of depression, and that is where you met yoon jeonghan, a psychotherapist. you were in your early twenties while jeonghan was in his late twenties. he has been your therapist for a couple of months now and has helped you a lot. despite his aid, you were still suffering from depression. the thoughts of you not having a purpose in the world and being a failure took a toll of your mental health. your therapist would always tell you that he’s always going to be there for you whenever you need help. there wasn’t any romantic intentions in his words, but platonic, a hint of wanted friendship. knowing you for a long time, jeonghan has taken a liking to you and thought of becoming friends with you. but of course, he still has to be professional.

“so, how have you been, yn? are there any thoughts that have been lingering in your mind?” he asks you as he usually does.

“i’ve been…alright. i’ve just been thinking of how i’m going to celebrate my birthday these days, since it’s next week.” you said to him. he wrote on his notepad as he listened to you.

“hm, that’s good. i hope you have a wonderful birthday, yn. how does your body feel right now? weak? good?” he asks you. you sit upright and blinked your eyes.

“my body feels okay. it’s just that sometimes i feel nauseous and tired.” you admitted. he suddenly stopped writing on his notepad and looked at you.

“have you been eating?” he asks. you nodded.

“yeah, i usually skip dinner though.” you said. he smiled softly and went back to his notepad.

“you should still try getting three meals a day. doesn’t matter how big or small the portion is, you need to eat.” he said. you looked up at him and smiled.

“yeah, i’ll try.” your check up went on for more minutes. as he finishes up the session, he suddenly looked at you.

“hey, yn?” he called out for you. you were already grabbing your handbag when he called you.

“yes?”

“i…i’m always here for you, you know that right? i’m your therapist, i’m here to help you. don’t be afraid to say everything to me. remember i’m always one call away.” is what jeonghan has said. but what he actually wanted to say was:

“i’m always here for you, yn. even if you only see me as your therapist, i’m also your friend. i’ll always help you no matter what.”

you and jeonghan always have a weekly therapy session, but the week after your last session, you never showed up. jeonghan thought it was probably because you were getting ready for your birthday. he even prepared a gift for you, a necklace with a clover pendant. he called you just in case you have forgotten your therapy session. it was unusual for you to miss a session. it was already 5 pm and you still haven’t answered him, even once. finally going past his “professionalism” agenda, jeonghan decided to go to your home. he drove to your apartment safely and knocked on your door several times.

“yn-ssi?” he asked through the front door. silence. jeonghan’s heartbeat started rattling through his chest. he suddenly twisted the door knob and unbeknownst to him, it wasn’t locked. he went inside your home and looked through every room. you weren’t in the kitchen, bathroom nor living room. finally reaching the last room, he opened the door to your bedroom. he widened his eyes as his mouth gaped open.

“yn?”

there you were, hanging from your ceiling fan. jeonghan could only stare in shock. dropping to his knees, he started breathing heavily.

did he not help you at all?

were all the check ups not helping you?

did he drive you to kill yourself?

was he not worth to be an aid to people?

he called 911 to report the incident and soon the authorities came, interviewing jeonghan.

he wasn’t even able to tell you that he wanted to be friends with you. he knew so much about you yet know so little about how you are. he was too late to tell you that he loved your company. that he loved you as a friend.

in every universe your soul has lived, you and jeonghan are destined to meet, destined to love each other, destined to leave each other. your soul always wondered, if there were such things as soulmates, were you and jeonghan one? destiny has always brought you two together, but also brought you two to fall apart on each other’s arms. were there any universe where you two meet, fall in love, and live your lives together? your soul always question this. in every death your soul has lived, it passes on to another lifetime.

in this lifetime, you’re just living your life as a choreographer. you have worked with countless artists and other dancers in your career. in this new chapter of your life, you were called to choreograph a dance for a kpop group you haven’t worked with yet. you have worked with countless kpop artists, from twice to nct. you were familiar with kpop and the industry of course, but you were excited to meet the group you’re going to work with.

“here’s their practice room, i’ll leave you to it. i’ll have my assistant to come with you in there. again, thank you for accepting our request.” one of the higher ups in hybe ent told you as you bowed to them. you entered the practice room, feeling a sense of familiarity, and saw several guys already stretching, blasting their song in the room. you were given a couple of weeks to create choreography for their new song, but you told them that meeting the group should be done first as creating a bond between the artist and choreographer is as important as creating an amazing piece. one of the males went up to you and bowed.

“oh, hello! are you ln yn-ssi? i’m scoups. i’m the leader of the group. it’s nice to finally meet you.” he introduced himself as you bowed back.

“yeah, it’s nice to meet you too, scoups-ssi. i already listened to the song a couple of times and have ideas for it already, but i really do want to create a bond with the team first, since i’ll be working with you guys for a couple of months.” you smiled at him. he smiled back nodded.

“yeah, for sure. i get what you mean. here, i’ll introduce you to the members.” he said as he gathered the group together. he did a small introduction of you to the group and they instantly welcomed you with warm smiles. you thought that dk, dino and vernon had the sweetest smiles you’ve ever seen. meeting them one by one, you learned that they had units and you instantly clicked with the performance team.

“i’ve been a huge fan ever since i saw you compete with a contemporary piece at swf!” dino geeked over you. you chuckled at him and thanked him. you and hoshi were already familiar with each other, considering that you two were fans of each other. still talking to the performance team, you felt a gaze behind you. you looked back and saw the angel faced male. you smiled softly to him and bid your goodbyes to the performance team. you walked up to jeonghan and watched him stretch his arms. he looked back at you.

“hey”

“hey”

you both say at the same time. you two chuckled as you sit down next to him. you nodded your head, telling him to go first.

“oh, well, i was just wondering if we’ve met before? i feel like i’ve known you but i just can’t seem to remember” he asked you. he was thinking the same thing as you. you smiled softly and hummed.

“i don’t think so…but i do feel like we’ve known each other for a long time already.”

“i think so too, do you think we’re soulmates?” he joked. you laughed at his statement and walked away.

“if we were soulmates, i think your fans would go crazy to think that their idol is soulmates with a person like me.”

“hmm, better than a sasaeng!”

in this universe, your soul knew jeonghan’s soul, and so did his. your soul hopes that this universe will be the universe where you and jeonghan finally live your lives together in love. little did your soul know, another soul has been thinking the same thing ever since he has met a familiar warmth in this universe.

[ping-ski]

Hewwo!!! :3 I hope you are having an amazing day, here is a whole plate of cupcakes! Would it be possible for you to share a few lore details about your Eclipsed By You AU story? I keep looking at the designs and I am so curious about what will be happening, I would wish to nibble on tiny lore crumbs, pretty please?

ama!! hihi! ! i meant to answer your ask much sooner! anyways, since you asked so nicely (and because i am pathetically weak to any sweets </3) prepare for some SERIOUS yappage under that cut

✦ AuDHD demands that I explain EBY origins before any details but you can totally skip this if you want! (Scroll till you see blue text! :3) So... Eclipsed By You was intended to be au/fic just for myself after work when I first got into DCA. I literally was pantsing a self-insert fic from just gameplay, voicelines, and a collection of scenarios I wrote in my notes app before I actually interacted with the DCA fandom lol. I was already in the process of writing it to be a proper fic and planned to make an AO3 acc to post it! I took some time away from it tho cause I got busy irl. During my break I did start to interact more the fandom! The first proper DCA fic I read was 'Solar Lunacy' by BamSara a few months back as a recommendation from a mutual I had from another fandom. I had told them about my fic idea and they suggested I read the fic as my fic had reminded them of SL. After reading through, I was kind of bummed initially because I really didn't think I had anything unique to offer with my own fic that I was hoping to share. I stopped writing it cause damn comparison truly is the thief of joy. SL and EBY had similar ideas going on and I just didn't feel like it was worth posting my fic cause it didn't feel "special" to me anymore. It was easy to give up since writing is really not my strong suit at all, so then I fell back to just drawing! I only came back to it despite the 19 other DCA aus I have lined up rn cause honestly I remembered that wrote it for my own enjoyment! Why did that have to change? Albeit, I did scrap lots of what I initially wrote and started fresh cause my interpretation of DCA changed. Regardless, EBY was always going to be a self-indulgent DCA/Reader fic taking place at the Pizza Plex. Sure not anything original, but that's just a fact of being a creative in general tbh. I felt silly when I realized that haha. I'm having fun and they make me smile, so who cares if its been done before lol. I still enjoy Solar Lunacy and still am a fan of BamSara! (the cotl content has been fueling me lmao)

✦ Some bits on Eclipsed By You- The main part of your ask lol! ✿ On the au/fic name: I actually stole it from another au (of the many) I have. No particular reason for it! I was writing EBY and that au around the same time and alternated working on the two throughout the day. That au is now nameless (actually it's nicknamed "Messiah" as I type) cause EBY grew onto me for what it is now! ✿ On DCA's designs: This might be kind of disappointing lol but- there isn't much of a lore/plot reason for their designs? They just look that way cause... why not :3 It's also part of just how I interpret DCA into my artstyle. Otherwise, they can be interpreted as the canon designs early on! Atleast until some future upgrades! ✿ When in SB are we? Everywhere /hj. EBY will have some pre-virus and post-virus stuff just for funsies! I'm dying to yap but if I say anymore I will get carried away 100%. ✿ On EBY!Eclipse: For this au, Eclipse is his own "person" you could say. With his own AI and personality chip to pair! Carefully built to be a dedicated host and theater bot. He is, including Sun and Moon, the entertainment <3. They are a singular animatronic in this fic! (like those 3 in 1 soaps except it's DCA /j) ✿ On EBY!Y/N: (EBY is a reader-insert, but intended to be written as gender neutral and an adult.) Y/N gets their own bit of lore and issues that may or may not be the stress/frustration from my 2 irl jobs thinly veiled lmao. They work part-time at the Plex as a general theater staff member! Each week, their tasks rotating between concessions, being an usher, and working along side the theater bots! (Kind of like a theater tech.) This is a part-time job just to keep them afloat while they work on their last bit of certifications and training to be a caretaker! They are pretty passionate about helping those in need. A sweetheart honestly. Though, if you don't like kids, maybe look away. Wholesome moments with the littles and DCA + Y/N is pretty decent with kids themselves. (Lots of projection from my own experiences working with children and elderly, as a caregiver turned caretaker. I kind of want to highlight some of my experiences with Y/N.) ✿ On EBY!Sun and Moon: These two are goofballs alongside Eclipse through and through. They all get to be sweet, soft, and doting I promise. Originally, before scrapping a good chunk of the og writing, EBY had a beloved sweetheart anxous Sun and aggressive Moon who was kind of an asshole(Before the rewrite, EBY felt so different. Like everyone was just tolerating eachother and fragments being held together with glitter glue n' dreams. I am very very glad it's different now lol.) Eclipse stayed fairly consistent though. Sweet house husband that he is. Now, Sun is just as unhinged as Moon (making him just as much as a threat!), but we will persevere with the power of friendship <3 We're gonna have some aloof Sun moments. He takes his job pretty seriously! Some goofy Moon bits who's giggles are light and airy. He is very unserious I fear. They're both trying their best, in their own ways. There's not much I can say rn without spoiling haha. It's hard to stay vague hrm. Or atleast I can't think of anything specific to add right now. (I may be able to answer some specific questions if you have any, my brain is just foggy rn) ✿ I'm simplifying it down to your "typical pizza plex fic" with pre-virus and post-fire shenanigans. I'm sorry if none of that is telling I can't think of anything specific cause I'm pretty sleepy rn so maybe it's a little boring sounding but I love it anyways haha Expect some canon-typical violence and non-sexual intimacy! I have intentions on writing the relationship between Y/N and DCA ambiguous so it can be seen as queerplatonic or romantic. (But this could very easily changed, I'm a shameless robokisser sigh.)

[witchofthevale]

↷ september '23 fave fic recs!⋆☂｡☽˚.

Okay, okay here we go! This nearly killed me to make, so you better read them.

I'm kidding... I think.

Gentle reminder that what I consider 'fave' is by my own personal tastes and preferences, and you might not agree with them and that's okay! These are very lovely authors you can peruse on your own to find the right fic for you, and there are always the tags + algo. Just because your favourite fic isn't here doesn't mean it's not good; it could be potentially for a variety of reasons (I haven't read it yet, I have just not this month, I don't vibe with that character, etc).

That's what I love about the individuality in fandom and writers— there will always be that right fic from that right author that just hits all your good spots.

This is mine. For the month of September. If you find your next favourite fix here— I'm glad! If not, that's still swell! Hope you find it!

To the writers— thank you for writing such brilliant fics! I struggled setting this up because of how many I enjoyed 💝.

Anyways...

More quick reminders!

This is set chronologically; both by character name and by fic title.

If you are familiar with my blog, you will mainly see HOTD, some TLK, then random characters.

There may be smut! There may be dark fiction! I support and consume both! Please read trigger warnings actively! You are responsible for your own person! Community Labels ruin fandom ecosystems, stop snitching! Ignore or block at bloody will!

There are no series parts here. That is in a different display post that is still being processed lol.

If you see repeated author names, it can be numerous things— mostly, they're just that good, okay? Okay.

These are only for September 2023. I've read about 500+ on this account alone, and would die if I tried to go back before then, sorry. You can still check them out through tag navigation here!

I've also added some of my works that I enjoyed writing for the month, because why not.

Now that's fucking over, I hope you enjoy!

ABRAHAM (Grantchester)

*Untitled Piece by @ewanmitchellcrumbs

AEGON TARGARYEN II

Ceilings by @sapphire-writes

Lemon Cake To My Tea by @darlingofvalyria

Merciless or Ruthless? by @lovelykhaleesiii

Moan for Me by @st-eve-barnes

AEMOND TARGARYEN

A Mutual Feeling of Hate by @fan-goddess

Gelato by @oneeyedvisenya

Hell Hath No Fury @fromforeigntofamiliarity

His Love by @valeskafics

I'm A Fire, And I'll Keep Your Brittle Heart Warm by @randomdragonfires

Revolution by @valeskafics

The Black Stag by @darlingofvalyria

Til Death Do Us Part by @asumofwords

Unnerved by @dulcewrites

*Untitled by @ewanmitchellcrumbs

*Untitled by @missglaskin

Vulnerability by @valeskafics

ALDHELM

My Heart by @silens-oro

BILLY TAYLOR

The Perfect Send Off by @ewanmitchellcrumbs

BILLY WASHINGTON

Lonely This Christmas by @ewanmitchellcrumbs

DAEMON TARGARYEN

Ask, and You Shall Receive by @ewanmitchellcrumbs

A Thousand Words by @arabellasleopardcoat

Capital by @arabellasleopardcoat

Curse of Womanhood by @just-some-random-blogger

*Untitled by @barbiedragon

Valyrian Bride by @cryingforlife

HARALD SIGURDSSON

A Political Arrangement by @valeskafics

JACAERYS VELARYON

In Bastards of Blue, Wager in War by @darlingofvalyria

MAEGOR TARGARYEN

Little Lights by @dreamsofoldvalyria

OSFERTH

Lacnunga, Or, Remedy by @assortedseaglass

SIGTRYGGR IVARSSON

Little Warrior by @ewanmitchellcrumbs

SIHTRIC KJARTANSSON

Hours by @valeskafics

It's Urgent Darling by @sihtricfedaraaahvicius

Take No Wife by @valeskafics

TOM BENNETT

A Good Wife by @valeskafics

Rest by @fidelias

VISERYS TARGARYEN III

*Untitled by @barbiedragon

MULTIPLE CHARACTERS

Conquerors Reborn by @undertheorangetree | Helaena, Aemond x Reader

El Tango De Roxanne by @valeskafics | Jace, Aemond x Reader

Royalty Fucked by @oorhaellaoo | Baelon, Alyssa x Reader

[rosesradio]

may i ask why ppl hate caleo so much? I'm reading ToA rn so idk if it's based on stuff that happens there, but in HoO I didn't really catch anything that would make it this "don't touch with a ten foot pole" ship, yk?

/gen

Hi !! Thanks for sending this in. I feel like I and others have kinda gone through some things in the anti-caleo tag, but I'm gonna go through some of the reasons with as much textual evidence and objectivity as possible. (minus my inevitable unorganized rambles, they're contextually relevant, stop looking at me--)

That being said, this is completely a matter of opinion, as all shipping is. I don't mean to say that you are "allowed" to ship or that you're "stupid" for shipping xyz, I couldn't care less what you ship--let's all just be nice to each other.

That being said, let's start with the two most common reasons why most people dislike caleo:

1.) the age gap

2.) their "bickering to lovers" dynamic is not written well/they seem to dislike each other/etc

The easier one to start with would be the age gap. Now (warnings for rent-lowering gunshots around my blog), I meant what I said when I said I don't care about ships. Most of my beloved mutuals ship the nastiest shit imaginable, and I am very anti-censorship (but that's several other posts). I generally have preferences for healthy ships when it comes to a Fluffy Endgame (dark fics with toxic ships are different to me).

That being said, I don't typically enjoy ships with a large age gap, and most other people find them unappealing as well. I could be persuaded with some (nipollo and rachel/apollo, i'm looking at you), but caleo just kinda grosses me out in this regard, probably due to other aspects of their relationship.

(Some people say she's "mentally fifteen", but I don't really buy that--if she were like a faerie or something, maybe, but I see her more as Edward in Twilight--looks young but has wisdom beyond her years. There's no definitive answer on this so it's not something I would like to debate (none of this is lol) but I thought I would mention it anyways.)

Although your question is about ToA, I'm only going to cover HoH through the first ToA book, because I'm still reading through the ToA books (though I know the big spoilers). I know caleo takes on a bigger role in the second book so i might come back and do a part two to uh...complain about their dynamic more? lol

so, without further ado--

The House of Hades

So, this is the first impression we get of Calypso from Leo's perspective--the highlights to keep this from being 1 million years long (it still will be lol)--

"She looked maybe fifteen, about Leo's age, and, sure, she was pretty; but with that angry expression on herface she reminded Leo of every popular girl in every school he'd ever attended—the ones who made fun of him, gossiped a lot, thought they were so superior, and basically did everything they could tomake his life miserable.Leo disliked her instantly.

---

The girl clenched her fists. Leo was pretty sure she was going to march down the crater and punch him in the face.

---

"Show yourself!" the girl yelled at the sky, completely ignoring Leo. "It's not bad enough I am exiled? It's not bad enough you take away the few good heroes I'm allowed to meet? You think it's funny to send me this—this charbroiled runt of a boy to ruin my tranquility? This is NOT FUNNY! Take him back!""

--pg 213 of The House of Hades pdf.

Now, keeping in mind that I read this for the first time at 13 and he was my book boyfriend (Or Whatever), I was not a fan of this, but even now that I've grown out of that, this still rings unfavorable to me.

He compares her to his bullies, the ones who made fun of him and created insecurities within him. And, making no effort to clear her name from this association, what is one of the first things she does? Screams at the gods for sending someone so conventionally unattractive. One of Leo's biggest insecurities in the books is not being as conventionally attractive or built as the other guys in the seven. One of his other insecurities is not having a girlfriend when everyone else is coupled up. So the solution is not to have him learn self-love and/or the love of friends, but to instead give him a girlfriend--the build-up time of which is short and intense. Not only that, but his love interest insults one of his biggest insecurities.

We're off to a great start.

Of course, I can't really blame Calypso for being pissed about the wreckage and about being sent another hero instead of being freed from the island. I would be pretty pissed, too, but she still treats him pretty badly, seemingly because he's not the "right" hero.

(For this next bit I am going through their time together in House of Hades and just noting anything that rings as a red flag to me--which is not a stretch as it's pretty much every other line lol. The brackets [] add context for dialogue, the parentheses () is my commentary, though most of these speak for themselves imo)

""Oh-gee-gee-ah." The girl pronounced it slowly, as if Leo were five years old.

---

She looked like she was about to answer but stopped herself. "It doesn't matter. You'll be gone soon. You're obviously a mistake."

That was harsh, Leo thought.He'd spent enough time thinking he was a mistake—as a demigod, on this quest, in life in general. He didn't need a random crazy goddess reinforcing the idea

---

"What am I supposed to do, then? Sit in the sand dunes until I die?" [Leo asked]

"That would be fine...." The girl threw down her trowel and cursed at the sky. "Except I suppose he can't die here, can he? Zeus! This is not funny!"

---

She looked the same age as him, but he wondered how old she really was. (age gap thing, delicious!)

---

"Would you be sweet," [Calypso said], "if they laughed at you by sending another hero, but a hero who looked like—like you?"

---

"Three thousand." Leo's mouth felt tingly, like he'd just eaten Pop Rocks. "Uh, you look good for three thousand."

---

"And now...the worst insult of all. The gods mock me by sending you." [Calypso said]

Anger bubbled in Leo's stomach.Yeah, typical. If Jason were here, Calypso would fall all over him. She'd beg him to stay, but he'd be all noble about returning to his duties, and he'd leave Calypso brokenhearted. That magic raft would totally arrive for him. (heartbreaking to hear about leo's insecurities but also...he is so gay for jason jdskjfs--)

But Leo? He was the annoying guest she couldn't get rid of. She'd never fall for him, because she was totally out of his league.

---

Despite the gifts, Calypso obviously didn't want to see him. One time he poked his head inside the cave and she freaked out, yelling and throwing pots at his head. (how to treat an abuse survivor 101)

Yeah, she was definitely on Team Leo. (this honestly just reminds me of the Echo scene and, honestly, I'd ship him with Echo Big Time over calypso)

He ended up pitching a more permanent camp near the footpath, where the beach met the hills.That way he was close enough to pick up his meals, but Calypso didn't have to see him and go into a pot-throwing rage.

---

"They are completely fireproof," Calypso promised. "They'll stay clean and expand to fit you,should you ever become less scrawny." (the prev part about her repairing the clothes was actually sweet in a platonic way...could have gone without the body-shaming !)

---

Then he remembered that this annoying fifteen-year-old girl was actually the immortal daughter of a Titan."

--pages 214-227 of The House of Hades pdf

Now, at this point I'll say that their relationship actually becomes quite sweet once they get past the frankly horrible section of time where they want each other to die. They're both lonely, they come to some understanding...I suppose this is a matter of opinion, but the romance aspect does feel forced. Time is different in Ogygia so it's hard to say how long Leo was there, if I were to estimate I'd say 3 weeks, but given that it's like 19 pages (and the text is larger on the pdf copy lol), it does feel rushed. Man do I wish they went for the platonic angle, but Richard could never.

The Blood of Olympus

Everyone's favorite book! lmao.

Now that our lovebirds are in Lovebird Territory (i guess), the amount of toxicity dwindles, but let's bite:

"'Sit tight, Sunshine,' he told Calypso's picture. 'I'll get back to you, just like I promised.'

Leo could imagine her response: 'I am not waiting for you, Leo Valdez. I am not in love with you.And I certainly don't believe your foolish promises!' The thought made him smile. (I guess this is supposed to be sarcastic, but way to reintroduce the concept of her really not liking him?)"

--pg 64 of The Blood of Olympus pdf

So, most of this book has mentions of Calypso from Leo's pov, and I gotta say (forgetting entirely that this doc is supposed to at least try to be subjective)...they neutered my boy. I often don't reread past MoA because of the caleo content, though what glimpses I've seen shows that his pov has experienced a massive shift. I think having so little page time and such an intense relationship buildup causes some readers to dislike how fundamentally she alters Leo's pov.

Additionally, I've seen some posts about Leo's suicide ideation. That is not something I want to go in depth about on this post, but I did want to draw attention to this excerpt I caught:

"Now the Argo II was approaching the end of its voyage. Leo's whole life – his childhood with Tía Callida; his mother's death in that warehouse fire; his years as a foster kid; his months at Camp Half-Blood with Jason and Piper – all of it would culminate tomorrow morning in one final battle.

He opened the access panel. Festus's voice creaked over the intercom.

'Yeah, buddy,' Leo agreed. 'It's time.'

More creaking.

'I know,' Leo said. 'Together till the end?'

Festus squeaked affirmatively.

Leo checked the ancient bronze astrolabe, which was now fitted with the crystal from Ogygia. Leo could only hope it would work.

'I will get back to you, Calypso,' he muttered. 'I promised on the River Styx.'

He flipped a switch and brought the navigation device online. He set the timer for twenty-four hours.

Finally he opened the engine's ventilator line and pushed inside the vial of the physician's cure. It disappeared into the veins of the ship with a decisive thunk.

'Too late to turn back now,' Leo said.

He curled on the floor and closed his eyes, determined to enjoy the familiar hum of the engine for one last night."

--pg 224 of The Blood of Olympus pdf

I'm not going to draw any definitive conclusions on the subtext of this or his plan with the physician's cure, but I will say Leo definitely needs therapy and the support of his friends over his want of a girlfriend. (And I'd say this regardless of ships--even if it were my beloved valdangelo. If Leo's mental health isn't addressed, it just makes it seem like a lazy fix-all)

I'm not going to pretend to be the best writer or understand character arcs better than our good friend Richard, but I think one of the reasons why Leo's character arc failed in this final installment is that Leo got what he wanted instead of what he needed. The best character arcs will display what a character wants, but by the end of the journey, a character will realize what they really need.

For example, in Gravity Falls (great show btw), towards the end of the series, Mabel wants to stay in a magical bubble created as a trick by Bill Cipher so she can stay in Gravity Falls forever. In the end, however, she realizes that what she really needs is to go back home to California with her brother, where they can get through high school with the support of each other.

If Leo had undergone an arc in which he really wants a girlfriend, but later realizes he needs to love himself first, that would have been really great and nice for kids to see that they don't need a significant other to make them whole.

Additionally--surprisingly--there were no glaring red flags for the rest of this book. They have a general vibe of "she doesn't really like him and he's a silly little guy" that I feel like is just rick pulling a "can I copy your homework?" with percabeth but it came out Wrong, but that's a matter of opinion.

ToA: The Hidden Oracle

""Here you go." Leo handed her a glass of lemonade. His expression seemed darker and more anxious, as if...Ah, of course. Leo had rescued Calypso from her prison island. In doing so, Calypso had lost her powers. Leo felt responsible."

--pg 239 of The Hidden Oracle pdf

This seems like something they'd have to work through, which is possible, but also a very intense thing to put on a relationship between an already traumatized 16 year old (and his over 3000 year old girlfriend, etc.) I suppose if this was written through in a thoughtful way I'd understand, but it's kind of one of those things that makes me look at them and go...realistically, at best I see them lasting 6 months to a year.

(tbh a lot of the ships outside of percabeth don't seem to have that...well, percabeth longevity--i mean just look at how jiper broke up. not that Richard would break caleo up atp, of course...unless...)

Final Thoughts (unless I return after finishing ToA but no promises)

And so, we conclude. I think I learned some stuff by revisiting canon instead of just remaining amongst online fandom & my memory of canon. Honestly, I can see why people would like this ship--I still hate it the most out of any pjo ship, but I gotta admit it had its sweet moments. Just as I pointed out red flags and had opinions stated as subjective, other people could point out what they consider green flags and why they think the ship is great.

To conclude (my English teachers quaking in their boots rn), myself and other caleo haters dislike the ship due to the age difference, the rushed nature, and the enemies to lovers dynamic being written in a way that ultimately gives the energy that our love birds do not like each other. I hope this dive into the foundation of their relationship clarifies some of these things for you, and thanks for the ask!

[yorsgirl]

I just read through both chapters of your Gojo fic and I’m OBSESSED! So many thoughts right now, you’re so talented 😭

Y/N has given us a bit of insight as to why she dislikes Kazumi and I can honestly say that IF what she’s telling us is true (since we’re really only getting her perspective) then I don’t blame her for her feelings. Your rich friend that can accomplish anything they want because they were born into wealth constantly reminding you that YOU can’t always get what you want? Nah, I wouldn’t let a friend shit on my hopes and dreams whenever I spoke of them. Then continuing to call someone a nickname they’ve clearly said they didn’t like is also pretty disrespectful too, I wonder if there’s any more though because… Y/N GIRLIE why not just stop being friends with her if you didn’t like her 😭 she’s been inconsiderate of your feelings enough for you to just drop her but… None of this is an excuse to have an affair with the man your “best friend” loves though like??

I wonder if Y/N has actually developed feelings for Satoru. I’m sure their affair has started out of mutual attraction and revenge on Y/N’s part, but given her reaction when Satoru promptly reminded her of her place of not being on Kazumi’s level (which I wonder if he’s said because he most likely knows she’s insecure about it) then she might have without realizing it.

There’s so many questions racking through my brain, has Kazumi really not suspected a thing even through their blatant flirting in front of her on their first meeting? Why did Y/N stick with someone she clearly can’t stand? Is there more to Y/N and Kazumi’s relationship that we have yet to see or is Y/N just that awful of a person to Kazumi? As of right now my mind is just racing!

I can’t wait to see the aftermath of this situation, Y/N babe let’s get some therapy maybe 😌 Kazumi, I’m so sorry you were betrayed by the two people you probably loved most omg 😭 Satoru, you can go to hell (need you so bad tbh)

THANK YOU FOR THE CHAPTER and I’m so sorry for the essay message 😭 looking forward to part three! Have a good one ❤️

First, I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING ME THIS AND READING MY WORK!! ❤️ ✨️ and your character study is awesome dearie!!

Secondly, I love how you left messages for everyone, here's there answers for you:

Y/N: I am sure I can use a bit of therapy after all that, thank you.

Kazumi: I still can't... it's so hard to even believe but... I guess, I knew bits and pieces about it... Still it doesn't help but thank you for your concern.

Satoru: Would you accompany me on the road to hell, m'lady? *winks*

Now, to answer your questions, I won't answer about Kazumi and y/n's relationship and why didn't Kazumi suspect much cause anything it'll spoil the next part.

As for, why Y/N didn't leave Kazumi:

Its kind of an attachment issues. I have incorporated this trait in y/n recalling my behaviour with some of my former(toxic) friends. Idk if anyone relates with it or not but in this issue, you can't just let go of people who have done wrong to you.

There's a tendency to just stay with them even though you absolutely hate them. But the reason for the stay is because you want to witness and revel whenever the other person's suffering. And as we saw, y/n is a two-faced bitch – she'd provide fake support while laughing internally.

But this attachment issue also makes her suffer as she is not really "leaving" even though she might say that she doesn't care for Kazumi, she is actively present in her life and in a way does care (for her suffering). It is making her suffer too which kind of gives the feel of an internal masochism.

This brings me to my second answer:

I guess I have mentioned it that y/n does harbour feelings for Satoru even though she knows he is an asshole. And yes, the affair was mainly a revenge but then think about it, you are actively flirting, sleeping, meeting someone but all in secret. It gives you the - Us against the world vibe which is thrilling in itself and you don't know when you overstep the threshold of love even after knowing that your partner is a Dick.

Y/n knows that her feelings can be one sided and its causing her to suffer (internal masochism), still she can't stop this affair (attachment issues at play again).

That's just it!! And thank you for reading and writing to me. It really means a lot !! 💗 😭

[rrxnjun]

Hello hi hi Bar <3, this is gonna be a bit long and yapful. Hope you are doing well and feeling good. I was the anon who asked about mxm fics around this time last year if you remember, removing my anon because why not (i feel bold and i like you). What actually prompted me to send this ask , I would talk about it later.

So I haven't read all your fics, honestly only some of them and I have loved literally all of them equally that I cannot choose the best. As a Renjun biased person I am always super crazy about blondes are done with fun and portrait of a blank slate (and they also had the smut tag sksks). Now now idk why am I explaining this but it is necessary I think. So I am someone who prefers to read longer fics with the smut tag among other tags because i am a bit 😈 lol and mainly because if they are completely wholesome (fluffy, angsty, etc) and innocent I get so attached and so delusional, especially because they are fan fics, and I start feeling crazy and am not able to get over easily because they are so pure. Smut personally gives me a sense of detachment and reality and it's a bit comic and hot of course. So yeah this is also one of the reasons I have read only a few fics of yours. But the latest one I read was Liebestraum and GOD OH MY GODDDDDD, idk where to begin, it's been a while, I think I read it last year and it didn't have any smut iirc, I got so so so so so attached, each time I looked at your blog, it reminded me of those long summer days, Jisung lying on the floor, feeling empty, the angst, the longing, the fic felt so real. The ending almost made me cry, and the almost crying feeling is the worst, because you're not able to let out anything but you're not able to keep it in either. It was very bittersweet. And the yearning, the longing for idk what, hurt, hurt so much but hurt so good. I listened to your playlist as well and after that I used to listen to Liebestraum a lot and each time I used to picture all that, the scenes, the feelings, etc. I think I am still not completely over it, to be able to read anything else from your blog. But it felt so painfully good. I really really loved it so much, I felt as if I lived it in real time. It felt like I was there, in the room when Jisung was lying on the floor in his aunt's house, not so fond of the summer break, or when him and y/n went to the beach(?) or when they did fun activities together, I was there with them, it felt so real, I could almost touch them... So yes that's what your writing feels like🥹🌻 (stopping or else I will go on forever) And like people usually hate summers but I like them, I was born during summer break and there is something bittersweet about the summer break, something nostalgic, yk summertime sadness lol, something nothing, something empty, something so full yet so light about it that I love oh so much, and I was able to feel all that through Liebestraum and hence it's special. And now I have come back after months, feeling like I finally moved on somewhat, because I take time with my feelings, to read more from you but it makes me nervous ngl.

Now coming back to my original purpose of this ask, I was reading your carrd and info again and I realized we are the same age (you won't believe me but I rarely find someone exactly my age like this) and I am psychology major as well🥺 and my mbti which I checked two years back was infp too(i think yours is different now). And the mutual groups that we stan, both of us have at least one bias in common ✨️ and all this coincidence got me excited like an 8 year old giggly kid. So idk lol, I just wanted to tell you skksks. You carrd was really cute and you sound really sweet. And if itxs not too personal, are you still doing something psychology related?? And what does your description refer to? (only if you're okay answering)

Love ya and your writing lots ❣️

hi hi hi!! omg this ask made me whip out my laptop to make sure i reply to everything omg,,, dw about it being long i enjoy those a whole lot!!! hope you're doing well and feeling good too! i do remember your ask, actually, and it makes me happy you came off anon bc you like me HAHA

DFJKLAFJ blondes are done with fun and portrait of a blank slate are actually the only smuts i've ever written and even those arent as explicit TT i do know what you mean with your reasoning, though!! for me i didnt use to enjoy smut if it had no plot ((still struggling with that a little, i feel like i need at least SOME plot to really enjoy reading a smut fic) so you kinda have the opposite problem?? HAHA. i do get kinda delulu too so i get you <//3 some fics ive read on here definitely made moving on from them kinda hard.

at first i didn't really like liebestraum, if im being completely honest. i had an innitial idea for this fic and posted a teaser for it and then deleted it because i hated it and then a sweet anon approached me and asked about that fic (we are now online best friends and met up irl three times can u believe that)) and i decided to give it another shot and rewrite it,, because i knew i kinda had to get the idea out somehow?? i think this fic is special in a way that jisung's inner monologue deeply resembles mine in some parts. summer is always very bittersweet for me and very difficult for me to handle, if im being honest, so getting this out really helped to cope with it all in a way? hearing you say you enjoyed it so much and felt such a connection to a personal work of mine makes me really happy, if i'm being honest. sometimes its hard to really wrap my head around the fact that somebody percieves my work and connects with it, so this whole ask feels kinda surreal, but i am insanely grateful for it. thank you so SO much for sending this ask in, i will treasure it for a long long LONG time. strangely enough, i only really know ppl who like summer, so it's strange to see you think it's otherwise?? but dont let anyone take that joy away from you. <3 i am a fall lover at my heart and i know people usually hate that season, but i enjoy it a lot:) hearing u call my work special makes me feel special and emotional, thank you so much. even if you dont manage to read another work from me, dont worry about it. i am already so grateful for this message and for your words i could never be "mad" at you, haha.

omg my carrd is so outddated i should update the info DFKJJAL but omg fr?? i feel 03 liners are a rare breed tbh i only know a few on here so welcome into the gang !! oh fr??? thats crazy!!! my mbti is infj-t rn tho HAHAHA i retook the test this year after a debate with another psych major. and that is so cool omg we should definitely be friends now (thank u for the compliments on the carrd also! its a template so i didn't make it, i just added the pics in and tweaked it around to my liking haha)

i am still majoring in psychology! im gonna be in my 3rd year after summer break and working on my thesis so i can get my bachelors :) after that im applying for masters haha. i don't really know what i wanna do postgrad yet, but i don't really think therapy is for me, so maybe something diagnostic related?? maybe stats or research? we'll see.

oh and my blog description is a lyric from the song dark by dominic fike :) i am a big dominic fike fan and that song is very personal and special for me and it got me through some difficult times. i really love that lyric because of its symbolism :))

[witchmd13]

Remember when @arthursalbion match made us into becoming mutuals by going LOOK here is someone else who ships uther/gaius 😆 Good times. but also now that I am reminded of this glorious crack ship, do you have...recs? Has anyone made moodboards wrote fics etc that you saw and liked? 👀

lmao I almost forgot about that!! I love that bonding over uthus is what made us mutuals 😭❤ now I have one more reason why this ship is my favorite crack ship!

I haven't read any uthus crack fics in so long though and I didn't bookmark any from before 💔 it's been a long time since I thought about them but listen half of me does see the ship as pure crack and it's the best crack ship out there but the other half KNOWS the fandom would've ATE IT UP if we had flashbacks to the older camelot generation as young people.

JUST IMAGINE uther still a young warrior who just conquered camelot and gaius the young physician with this curious scientific mind just exploring magic and then he becomes court physician somehow? and cut to a few years later we have uther trusting him to send him to the isle of the blessed to ask for a son? And THEN when everything blows up and uther literally burns anyone who breathed near a sorcerer, he just spares gaius? the man he knows for sure was not only a sorcerer but someone who studied and taught magic? DO YOU SEE MY VISION? CAN YOU IMAGINE THE ANGST AND THE TOXIC VIBES??? gaius literally stopped doing magic and stayed in camelot functioning as a magic expert/physician???

[writersmorgue]

Febuwhump Day 8 - "why won't it stop"

In an effort to not get this banned I didn't use great tags, but just so you know this fic does contain brief su1cidal ideation as well as a reference to a su1cide off screen!! Please be careful!

TWs in tags || read on Ao3 || wc: 1,220

◈━◈━◈━◈━◈

Keigo sighs as he stares down at the alley below him. 

Tall enough to break his neck, short enough to avoid his instincts of saving himself. He’d been looking passively on his patrol route for weeks. 

His back aches from the discipline he received earlier that day. It had been nearly 48 hours without sleep and he’d begun to slip. Almost let a villain get away during a run with Tokoyami. 

They’d sent the kid home early and dragged him into the basement of Headquarters by his tail feathers. 

Four hours and an adrenaline shot later, he was back on patrol. 

The ledge looks… good. 

Standing so close doesn’t usually give him these butterflies. He can fly, the height wouldn’t matter. But something in his chest tells him that, if pushed now, he wouldn’t unleash them. 

There’s some broken glass strewn about; It shines in the moonlight, reminding him of the solo flights he’d take over the ocean in his earliest days of Heroics. Stopping on ship masts and buoys to rest. He’d been freer then, though not by much. 

The commission dug their talons into him once he’d been significantly broken. The urge to split off on his own thoroughly beat out of him by then. 

He’d been feeling some of that same freedom recently. The mission to infiltrate the League of Villians has been only successful. The villains had been kind to them, in their own way. Keigo thinks they see past his hero smile, maybe to the part of him that yearns to have their mobility. 

Dabi especially, much to Keigo’s surprise, has warmed up to him. The S-Rank villain had started opening up to the hero.

Some fuckin’ hero scum like you would only use us. Shigaraki trusting you at all is a mistake that will cost his life. 

After… a while. 

They’d grown a mutual understanding. The past was a prison they wished to move on from, and their home at the League’s base was an escape. Dabi himself didn’t seem fond of Shigaraki or AFO, but Toga seems to have carved her way into his heart. 

Keigo thinks that in another life he would’ve made a great big brother. Maybe he even was. 

The hero sighs, scuffing his boot on the dirty rooftop. 

The Commission was wearing him thin. His body and mind were feeling the weight of his sins. 

He knows this can’t continue for much longer. Either he abandons his position and is killed, or he does it himself. 

At least an obvious suicide would be harder for them to cover. The note he slipped in Rumi’s bag would likely not be found for another week, giving him time to finally decide. 

He thinks of his friends, the few that had stuck with him through his struggles. He’s sure they’ll miss him, but they’ll understand. The note- well, they’ll know why this had to be done. 

The air behind him shifts, and he barely registers the presence before a figure steps up on the ledge with him. 

“I’d warn you about the fall risk but… well.” The man grumbles, sticking his hands in his pockets. 

There’s a white scarf-looking thing wound around his neck, and his costume seems to consist of just a black jumpsuit. Long black hair is pulled half-up into a bun. 

“Eraserhead.” Keigo nods in acknowledgment, “Am I infringing on your route?”

Eraser huffs, looking out at the rooftops. Keigo wonders briefly how he’s not afraid of the fall. 

“You taking out a villain for me is the least of my worries,” he replies. 

Keigo nods, shifting his weight. Suddenly he feels vulnerable up here. 

“Any pressing reason why you’re brooding on this ledge? Usually more of my job.” Eraser jabs at him.

Keigo can’t find it in him to laugh in response, so he doesn’t. “Just thinking.”

The other hero nods, and they stand in silence for a moment. 

“You know,” Eraser starts, and Keigo could’ve sworn Rumi said this guy was quiet, “I saw a guy jump off this ledge a few months ago.”

Keigo stiffens, which probably gave him away if Eraser didn’t know already. 

“I was too late to save him,” the hero drones on, “it happens. But it was hard, watching his sister identify his body at the hospital.”

“Why are you telling me this,” Keigo grits, quickly losing patience. 

“I know you don’t have a sister, Hawks.” Eraser continues quickly, “No living family. I’ve read your file. The Commission owns you.”

“I’m… aware.”

Eraser turns to him, cocking his head, “So you’ve chosen this as an alternative?” 

Keigo officially loses his patience. 

“It’s not as though I have another option!” He throws his hands up, “they control everything I do. They make me do terrible, terrible things. Things I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. There is innocent blood on my hands, and I am done being their lackey. I would rather die than hurt one more person, I don’t care if they’re legally villains, it’s wrong.” 

Eraser assesses him, “That’s not all.”

Keigo rolls his eyes, “Of course that’s not fucking all. I could go on for hours about all the terrible shit they make me do, that they do to me. Half of my body has been fixed by them. I don’t even recognize myself anymore! They won’t stop until I’m some braindead lackey who will act on their word.” 

“It will never stop.” Keigo breathes shakily, looking down at the alley to hide his tears. The light reflecting off the glass begins to fuzz and he blinks hard, trying to calm himself down before this turns into a panic attack. 

“Why won’t it stop?” He whispers, reaching up and tugging at his hair, where soft downy feathers used to grow. 

Eraser sighs heavily, startling Keigo out of his daze. “I’m sorry that you’ve been put through this shit. The Commission has taken interest in a few of my students, and I’ve done my best to keep them out of this.” He turns and looks Keigo directly in his eyes, “I want to bring them down.”

“They’ll kill you!” Keigo shakes his head, looking around them in a panic, “You have no idea how bad that idea is-”

“I have some idea. Like I said, I’ve read your file.” Eraser places a heavy hand on Keigo’s shoulder, “They’ve put you through hell and it’s death in every direction. I want to get you out, and all the other kids they’ve got their teeth in.”

“But I-”

“That man,” He interrupts, “that I couldn’t save. That was one of Gang Orca’s former sidekicks. The fall was clean, broke his neck, and killed him quickly. Both of his arms had been recently broken and healed with a quirk, he had numerous lacerations and welts on his torso, and all the fingernails on his right hand were gone. The gills on his ribs came from his quirk had been medically sewn shut. Does that sound familiar?”

And shit… it does. Keigo inhales sharply, “Initiation.”

Eraser’s mouth presses into a thin line, as though Keigo confirmed everything with one word. 

“I want to save you, Hawks.” He says, “I have UA and All Might at my back, we are going to get you out.”

And for once, Keigo thinks there might be a third option. 

[swiftie-sherlockian]

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿Cardiff Surprise Songs🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

🩷I Forgot That You Existed x This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things🖤

🤍I Hate It Here x the lakes🩶

So naturally I’m going to say something about the second mashup as it’s my favorite TTPD song with my favorite folklore song. They’re my favorites because I heavily relate to them. I joked to some friends a few days ago about a mashup of these two and the fact that she’s done it blows my mind. I’m a young introverted AuDHD woman who is very self-conscious and constantly daydreaming and creating music and worlds and stories in my mind and I’ve been like that for as long as I can remember. I used to be extroverted but I think years of grade school bullies and more recently the rise of the pandemic has turned all that on its head. I don’t exhibit the symptoms of maladaptive daydreaming, but I do frequently find myself more at home in my daydreams than I do in my real life in college and my pretty much otherwise nonexistent social life. Aside from the lovely woman I live with, who we’ll call “Libby” and her fiancé we’ll be calling “Clint”, Tumblr is how I talk to most people. I do have other friends in college, but we don’t really hang out and text often. Tumblr and my writing is my great escape, and admittedly, it’s not just Taylor’s music, especially in folklore and evermore and quite a few of the Anthology tracks on TTPD that makes me feel seen, as Taylor wrote folklore and evermore during lockdown;

It’s Sherlock. Mates, there are several reasons why this sideblog serves as both my place for Sherlock RP/posts and Taylor posts, and only part of it is how imhaimh (my Johnlock fic I’m writing on AO3 you can read here) is slightly inspired by Taylor’s music, especially the third chapter roughly based on The Albatross, and the fact that several of her songs remind me of Sherlock and John in general.

It’s the fact that Taylor Swift and Sherlock Holmes make me feel the same sort of feelings, even here when talking about things like this. I am an anglophile. I dream of moving to London. I have the same passion for the city Taylor does even though I’ve never dated a London Boy. It’s been years since I’ve last been, and I bloody miss it for all it is. The lights, the double-decker busses, Harrods, the Underground, being on top of the Shard, riding the London Eye, sightseeing in general (I’ve been to all the big sights; well, most of them)

And then my dearest Tumblr mutual and imhaimh beta reader @gingaaaaa (Hi Ginger! It’s Coral! You rock, mate!) told me to watch BBC Sherlock, and I did. And I adored it.

And it kills me how much I relate to Sherlock. 😂

Oh, believe me, I am nowhere near his level of intelligence, but still… you may remember from my old run of the roleplay back when Shezza was involved as Sherlock that I had taken Myers-Briggs for the first time in several years to find that I was INTP despite having been ESFJ when I was younger. I had completely FLIPPED, which I did not expect. Our brains work similarly despite me lacking a Mind Palace (as far as I know; probably looks more like a Mind Flat to me 👀) and…

I am starting to suspect that I am a high-functioning sociopath.

And I know Sherlock really isn’t, but I’ve looked at the symptoms and I am manipulative 😂 I am so deceitful and in such an unhealthy way. But seriously, it’s the antisocial tendencies I get the most. I am an “I work alone” type person most of the time, and from on here, it may not seem like it, but I am. If I could find my John someday, I would be eternally grateful, but for now, I am my own blogger.

This post is so derailed. It’s 21:11/9:11 PM and I am delaying brushing my teeth to write this post. Haha

But yeah. I’m only 20. I’m still growing as a person. Fuck, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted in life when I was 14 and I was wrong! Here I am changing my major because college helped me decide that my “dream career” would have actually been a bloody nightmare! LMAO

Thanks for sticking around, by the way. I’m a fucking dork, but to my mutuals, whether I met you on my main @adumpofdumbstuff or on this sideblog, I am your fucking dork. Take care.

[thaleleah]

awe yeah your mom was vulnerable and stepshit took advantage of that 😭 dw tal, your person will come at the right time 🩷

ikrrr his dick needs to be snipped 😂 man is almost 80 years old, it's nastyyy

my stepmom is a literal child, she actually throws tantrums it's actually so fucking embarrassing. a literal slipper 😂 now i'm worried cause are you gonna hit your 2 year old like that if he acts up or doesn't listen to you? LOL tal ilyyy for not liking my dad either cause he doesn't deserve it! too little too late

omg you write for avatar too? 👀 look at you go girl! what's the avatar fandom like? it seems like it's chill and drama free. the reason i starting watching avatar was because of jack 😂 i'm a huge scream fan so i needed to see what else this man has been in and was so surprised he was in avatar 2, i actually didn't recognize him because of the hair but he still looked so fine! i need to rewatch avatar 1 and 2 because i actually really enjoyed it! and the cgi is amazinggg (much better than marvel) - and yes ghostface is so fucking hot, especially in the new one, i think cause it was more serious and the mask was like decayed. ughh i have a predator/prey kink too it's just so so hot! getting chased and hunted by those two was soooo ughhh! can you tell i only have a thing for villains? the heros barely capture my heart 😂 look and you and both simping for tom and jack; we have amazing taste in men 🩷

i'm so glad you got some writing done and it didn't feel forced, never force yourself, tal 🥰 you got this babe 🩷

🍯🐝

Babes, the way I tried to respond to your ask TWICE with a rant about how my stepdad must want me to hit him with my car because of how he treated my mom this weekend on her birthday weekend, and Tumblr closed out on me both times without saving my long af rant. SOOOOO maybe that's the universe trying to tell me to let that shit go. Which, like, okay. But . . . OOOOO THAT SHIT MADE ME SO MAD. So, anyway - thanks for listening to me tell you about a rant I would have made you read had Tumblr not told me no twice lmaooo

I feel so sorry for the two year old. Hopefully your stepmom will refrain from being a vile evil bitch to him. At least I hope. And yes, nothing your dad does could ever make me like him. Fuck that man lol

I doooooo write for Avatar! Avatar is the only fandom that I've consistently been in for nearly my whole life and I can't ever see it going away. I have such huge respect for James Cameron cause the world that he's created is just so amazing and beautiful and the detail and meaning of it all has me in constant awe. I could literally watch the movies over and over again and never get tired of them. December 2025 can't come soon enough for A3, I'm practically vibratingggggg. The fandom is def not chill and drama free though, especially on the smuttier side. It's actually been super toxic recently which is really disappointing cause I feel like Avatar is one of the fandoms that should be the least problematic but...here we are. My mutuals get tons of anon hate messages daily and sometimes there's even drama between accounts. Thankfully, I haven't had to deal with as much bullshit as they have since I'm a smaller blog, but I have gotten my fair share too. I know it really doesn't matter what fandom you're in, all fandoms have haters and most writers or artists get nasty messages, but it still sucks. All my mutuals are great though and they remind me of why I started being active in the fandom in the first place when things get a little too rough. Some people write some good Spider fics since you're a Jack Champion fan 👀

Love youuuuu 🥰

[clqveris]

started my ao3 back up this year. ao3 wrapped? I dunno. it's something

general rambling. reminder that the DOVES ARE DEAD some of these have nasty tags on them

I wish I could post something privately just for my mutuals. oh well

I say started back up because uhhhhh I wrote something in freshman year of highschool. It is my most loathed child and is now an orphan. It is in the very back of my ao3 inbox. Its statistics are on par with my current most popular fics. Goddammit.

Started writing this year because of Stardew Valley. Currently I believe it's one of the longest running projects I've ever worked on. Started it in February. Now it's December. I think it will be another year at least. My poor little farmer whom I give all the tragedies to. I dropped this game again earlier this year and yet still find the drive to write this. Amazing. I think I have the fic planned and then it goes and does its own thing sometimes.

All the TGED fics are the same to me. Least favorite children. The bad modding in the discord made me lose taste for the whole fandom, unfortunately. I am allowing myself to shit-talk this server on account of the poor moderation being in concerns to NSFW content, and that the server is not an adult only server. And some of the immaturity in there. Not immaturity as in "acting childish for fun" and "not being serious all the time," because acting like a mature adult all the time would be tiring and soul sucking, but immaturity as in "I am a child and my childish actions are not for fun but for throwing tantrums against things I don't like."

The count will forever stay at 4. The last thing I wrote for it I wrote all the chapters and then posted them all at once, and then forgot them. It is also my most popular fic. What a shame. I hope one day I will get a comment in my inbox that says "Why did you start writing incest." Otherwise, I respond to none of the comments on those fics.

My S-Class fics are my favorite children right now, besides the Stardew one. The only fandom I've ever written with an E rating for, and you know what? It's not bad. It's freeing. I get to be free. I forget all the time that they can be considered dead dove, for reason of the big fat Incest label on it. They feel tame to me, for some reason. Maybe they are. Maybe it's not my fault that one of the characters actually canonically tries to lock his brother up and has thoughts of getting rid of everyone else.

Perhaps one day they will surpass the TGED fics. Currently this one is the most popular of all of them, but I feel like that's about to change. Hm...

I don't really look at statistics except for the comments in my inbox, but here we go.

Subscriptions. I posted all the chapters of System Error at once, why are you subscribing to it?

Word count. No surprises here.

Bookmarks. frowns at System Error. get outta here

Comment threads. At least three of them are my favorite children.

Kudos. Hang in there cuckoo. your time will come I promise

Hits. You're telling me more people saw the high-speed competitive frotting and got less kudos than cuckoo? that's crazy

All in all? I'm blind. I don't see. Who is TGED? Never heard of them. I've never built a house in my life, your honor. All I know is Really Fucked Up Sibling Relationship with the author's poorly disguised brocon-

I also realize now, that most of the things I've written have something to do with extreme and unhealthy displays of affection. Stardew? You saw the yandere tag. TGED? Pretty sure that guy would blindly trust anything the other guy does. S Classes? I point out once again, the unhealthy codependent relationship between those brothers.

Now, as a reader. I need to bookmark more things I believe. I'm lacking. I'm slacking. I need to up my game 100 emoji.

If you read this far, I encourage you to comment. Putting all your thoughts about how a fic made you lose your mind in a comment is really fun, because then I don't have to just sit there and go "holy shit, that was an amazing fic, now I just have to sit here and act like I didn't read something that good." You can type it out and share it with the world. Highly recommend for when you're about to lose your mind over a fic.

[sttoru]

DO NOT INTERACT IF: you fit the basic dni criteria \\ you support israel \\ can’t discuss things (like differing opinions) maturely \\ you are a pro-shipper \\ you are a porn link poster \\ you write smut for minors (aging them up with no canon time skip is also not welcome); for example nezuko, megumi, tanjiro, klee, denji etc etc.

FOR THE MINORS: i don’t care that you’re on my page reading my works. you’re the one taking the risks and the responsibility of what you’re going to read is all yours. don’t make me catch you though; any visible age under 17, gets blocked.

HATE ASKS get either completely ridiculed & clowned or instantly blocked & deleted, no in-between. idc abt what you say (especially on anon; coward activities LOL). you got something to say about me, say it to me directly please !

this blog is mostly jjk-centred. however, i do publish genshin, hsr or l&dps related fics from time to time.

empty blogs will get blocked. inactive blogs too. use your accounts. spam liking will also get you blocked.

i use the block button how i please. if i block you, i have a reason. if we were mutuals, i hard block most of the time. if you decide to block me & we were mutuals: please hardblock me, not soft block.

this is not an only writing blog. i talk, vent and reblog stuff to my liking. i also talk about my own selfships. if you don’t like it, don’t complain. just block.

english is not my first language. don’t expect perfect english grammar — unasked criticism is not needed.

i do not indulge myself in personal discourse nor do i entertain it, unless i (or a mutual of mine) was offended first. when that happens & you do not want to see it, filter ‘cw discourse’.

!! i may state my own opinion on some topics (also discourse topics) though. they are tagged as tw vent or cw discourse mostly. if you find it so annoying to see someone state their opinion or vent on their own blog, literally just leave and block me.

most works are self-centred / self-indulgent: meaning, they are all female centred. reader is always portrayed as a woman & is shorter than the characters most of the time. though, no further descriptions are added (skin tone, body type etc.) unless i specify so in the tags.

this blog is not spoiler free. i also may forget to put spoiler warnings every now and then. don’t hesitate to politely remind me to add them if that happens.

Q&A

can i dm you to talk or ask something?

yes! as long as you stay respectful, my dms are always open. mutuals can ask for my discord any time as well.

you’ve blocked me, what did i do?

i use the block button how i like. if you’re blocked, you’re either one of the ppl in my dni or a blank/ageless/empty blog with no posts. or, it’s just that i didn’t feel comfortable with something you posted or said. orrrrr, it’s because of your own do not interact criteria and i went ahead and blocked you to spare you the trouble :)

can i vent to you in your inbox?

depends. if you want advice on a simple situation, sure. if it’s to rant about triggering topics (such as suicidal thoughts, depression, sexual assault, or other dark stuff) please seek a therapist for that — not just a random writer on the internet.

why do you block inactive and/or empty blogs that interact with you or follow you?

simply because some of you need to learn that tumblr works on reblogs. plus, empty blogs (and especially with the default tumblr layout) look like bots. lurkers are also not welcome. if you want to keep reading the amazing fictional works on this app, then you need to help your creators out by reblogging their content. it shows support, even if you don’t add any tags to it.

you haven’t posted a fic in a while. when are you publishing one?

i’m a slow writer sometimes. do not expect a fic each day or even each week / two weeks. i have a social life outside of this tumblr account i started just for fun — no pressuring me into or asking for a part 2 / fic either or you’re blocked.