#was reminded by the really cool one of soul from earlier

[synthshenanigans]

WIP lil art that i wanna finish but dunno which to use {might do both but idk what to start with}

[I drew these like, 2 months ago so they a lil old apologies]

[seobsecrets]

call me

the voicemail they leave you after a fight/break up

you have one (1) new message…

☏ THEO

"hey, i'm calling to remind you that the phone works both ways and so does a relationship. you said you wanted to fix things and work things out but it feels like i'm the only one putting in any effort. it's like there's no point in even trying to keep this relationship alive... *sigh* can you please just pick up or call me when you're ready to talk.”

☏ KEEHO

"hey, i was shopping earlier and i found this candle that smells like cookies and i thought, '____ would like this,' but then i remembered that we're supposed to be mad at each other, and i thought we should just... stop being mad at each other. i don’t know, i think we've spent enough time apart to cool down and reflect. we should get together and talk... move forward together *pause* i still bought the candle, if you want it. um, please call me. okay? bye.”

☏ JIUNG

"hi. um, i was just calling to see if you're doing alright. well, as alright as you can be, considering *pause* i'm actually kinda glad you didn't pick up; i don't know if i'm ready to... hear in your voice how much i hurt you. but i keep thinking about how everything played out and i just wish things could have went differently. but it’s done and over now. anyway, please call me sometime-- or don't, i’ll understand. bye.”

☏ INTAK

"____, are you gonna keep ignoring my texts and calls? we need to actually talk. *sniffle* are we- are we really gonna let us end like this? are we just gonna let go of all that we've been through together? just like that? *sniffle* i don't know if i can accept that. i refuse to accept that. please *sniffle* we can work this out. please just pick up or call me, i miss you and i don't want to lose you. i love you.”

☏ SOUL

"hi, how have you been? i just wanted to hear your voice. it feels like forever since i've seen or heard from you... i wish you would call me sometime... to be honest, i miss you so much and i want you back. i want us to be together again. go back to the way things were. i might be asking a lot but.. *pause* i don't know. what am i doing? please ignore this.”

☏ JONGSEOB

"hi. i called hoping to hear your voice. shota told me you seem to be doing well. that's good to hear. i've been thinking about you a lot lately. i kept every message you sent me. i reread and replay them often. i'm sorry i’m only calling back just now. *pause* back then, i don't think i could have kept my composure if i answered any of your calls… um, if you're feeling up for it, call me sometime. i promise i’ll pick up this time. bye.”

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Hey, a while back you did a bunch of Genshingirls walking in on their S/O with a body pillow of them. Why don’t we flip the script this time? S/O walks in to see the girls (or guys!) with a body pillow of *them*!

One character I do ask for is Bernadetta.

(Genshin Impact/FE3H) Furina, Ayaka, Yae, Shenhe, Kokomi, Bernadetta, Edelgard, and Marianne with a body pillow of their S/O

The implications of someone making a body pillow of yourself is both hilarious and terrifying.

Furina's eyes go wide once the door opens, leading her to rush something underneath the blanket seeing her S/O.

(S/O) "Hey, I'm ba-...Furina?"

She has her usual smug expression as she dramatically blew a kiss to them.

(Furina) "Ah, welcome back dear! I must say you are home far earlier than I expected!"

(S/O) "Is everything alright? You're sweating a lot."

(Furina) "Ah? This? I just summoned one of my little friends to cool me off is all!"

(S/O) "On our bed?"

...

S/O walked over to them and immediately put their hand on her forehead, stunning her for a moment.

(S/O) "Your face is burning hot! Jeez, no wonder you needed them. Let's get you a change of clothes-"

(Furina) "W-WAIT!"

S/O ripped off the blanket and saw themselves on a pillow, forcing them to make sure they weren't going insane.

Furina for her part was doing her best impression of a tomato, with her two fingers awkwardly tapping the blanket and doing everything in her power to not look them in the eyes.

(S/O) "Why do you...H-How...?!"

(Furina) "L-LISTEN! YOU WEREN'T HOME AND..."

Furina began pouting as she put the blanket up to her face, probably about to explode from embarassment.

S/O was flattered at least, but...who even gave this to her?

(S/O) "Where have you been hiding this whenever I have been home?"

(Furina) "...Closet."

Her muffled voice responded.

Ayaka felt that having a body pillow of her S/O felt so...strange.

It was so weird, who even has this kind of thing of their significant other?!

But...it was not too dissimilar from keeping a picture of them, so maybe....?

Ayaka hides the pillow from everyone, and not a single soul besides her knows about it.

Whenever she was missing them, Ayaka would hold onto the pillow, counting the days until S/O could return.

...Until her door slid open.

(S/O) "Surprise! I'm here early-"

Ayaka's absolutely mortified expression speaks for itself as its inches away from a picture of S/O, pasted onto the pillow.

The two said nothing as they kept unblinking eye contact.

(Ayaka) "...Please don't tell anyone about this."

Yae commissioned an artist that she knows to put S/O onto a pillow.

There was something similar going on with Ei, which gave her this idea to begin with.

Yae put the pillow right smack in the middle of the bedroom and waited for S/O's arrival that night.

She could already imagine their reaction, but why imagine it when you can just see it?

Finally, Yae could hear the door creak open, and her smirk increased tenfold.

(S/O) "Yae, I'm home. Hm, what's that on-"

Yae bursts out laughing when S/O pauses and their face scrunches up upon seeing themselves.

Wiping away a tear from her eye, she greets S/O.

(Yae) "Is something the matter, I thought you'd appreciate me always thinking of you."

(S/O) "Why is it so well drawn?"

(Yae) "I paid someone a substantial amount of Mora to get your likeliness down well, little one.~"

She starts laughing again seeing their exasperated sighing.

Shenhe was gifted a body pillow of S/O, strangely enough by Cloud Retainer.

(Cloud Retainer) "One believes that you would appreciate a reminder of your loved one in physical form. At least, that is what the Traveler has spoken."

And Shenhe not really knowing how ANY human interaction works, took it at face value as well.

After all, Shenhe does feel that strange longing in her heart for S/O, there was at least this nice picture of them to keep her satisfied until now.

S/O eventually comes home to find Shenhe hugging the pillow of themselves in the living room, making them do a double take.

(S/O) "...Shenhe?"

(Shenhe) "S/O. It's good to see you again."

Her eyes slightly narrow.

(Shenhe) "Is something wrong? Your expression is changed."

(S/O) "Is...that a pillow of myself?"

(Shenhe) "Yes. It was a gift from master."

S/O noticed how tightly Shenhe was holding onto the pillow, before they came in, and she proceeded to hug them just as tight.

(Shenhe) "It brings...some comfort when you are not here."

S/O sighed, but gave her a smile.

(S/O) "That's touching...in a weird way."

(Shenhe) "How is a pillow of you weird?"

(S/O) "Hoo boy..."

Kokomi's body pillow of S/O: +1000 Energy

It embarrasses her to no end that the pillow actually boosts her energy.

But if she couldn't cuddle with her S/O, then there was the next best thing!

At least, that was the plan until the real one walked into her hideaway.

(S/O) "Kokomi, I brought some sna-"

She was so tired that she didn't even notice them.

Kokomi has a soft smile, hugging the pillow of them tightly as her shoulders relaxed.

S/O walked up to Kokomi, unsure to call her name again or tap her in the shoulder.

Both would equally startle her, considering.

They would have to do neither, as Kokomi opened her eyes and saw them standing in front of her.

(Kokomi) "AAAGH?! S-S/O?!"

She quickly tried to hide the body pillow behind her before giving up and sighing.

(Kokomi) "I'm...s-sorry."

S/O gave her a smile before hugging her, letting her relax into their embrace.

All the while, respectfully not looking at themselves.

(S/O) "...How long have you had that pillow, Kokomi?"

(Kokomi) "Please don't tease me about that, dear."

Okay, even Bernadetta could admit that having a pillow of her boyfriend/girlfriend was weird.

But...it brought her comfort, and no one really entered her room anyway, so who cares?

It's not like anyone was gonna see it.

She holds onto the pillow like a lifeline, sighing in content.

(Bernadetta) "Oh, Pillow S/O, thank you for bringing me comfort in my times of need..."

(S/O) "...I don't do that?"

(Bernadetta) "Of course you do! Like nothing el-"

She realized that it spoke up, and slowly turned behind her.

(S/O) "...H-Hi."

Bernadetta was completely frozen in place, eyes widened in absolute terror.

(S/O) "Please tell me you didn't get Ignatz to draw that for you-"

(Bernadetta) "I-IT WAS A GIFT, I SWEAR!"

(S/O) "I'm...not sure that's any better, sweetie..."

It was absolutely disgraceful to Edelgard to have a pillow of her S/O!

The Emperor of Adrestia needs to have more tact than...whatever the hell this was.

But at the same time...she didn't have the heart to throw it away.

She instead keeps it, but WELL out of sight of anyone that could find it.

Honestly, Edelgard would rather a thief find her gold than this pillow.

Unfortunately for her, someone worse found it.

(S/O) "Edelgard, is my clothes in the closet? I can't seem to find my jacket."

(Edelgard) "Hm? Oh yes, it should be-"

Her eyes shoot wide open as she quickly spins around, and rushes to the closet door.

She slammed it shut, giving S/O a panicked look.

(S/O) "WOAH! W-What's gotten int-"

(Edelgard) "B-BY THE EMPEROR'S DECREE, I FORBID YOU FROM OPENING THAT DOOR!"

As if on cue, the door instead fell over to the side from Edelgard's strength, and out flopped the body pillow of S/O onto the ground.

(S/O) "..."

(Edelgard) "..."

Marianne truthfully didn't even want this body pillow.

It was gifted to her by Raphael, and she couldn't say no.

The picture portraying S/O was tasteful and quite well drawn, but who keeps a picture of someone they love on a pillow?

It just felt extremely awkward, and Marianne did not want to deal with it.

She was in her room with Hilda, not sure what to do.

(Hilda) "Wow, okay that's kinda creepy. But sweet too, in a weird way!"

(Marianne) "I suppose, but it seems rude to throw it away if it's so well crafted."

(Hilda) "Iunno. Maybe hang it on a wall? It is a picture after all!"

The door to her bedroom opened, and both of them saw S/O enter.

(S/O) "Hey Mari-...Oh, Hilda! What are you doing in here?"

(Hilda) "Heya. Just trying to figure out what to do with this gift."

(S/O) "What gi-....Oh."

All three of them stared at the picture, unsure what to do.

(S/O) "Um...did you?-"

(Marianne) "I did not make this..."

(S/O) "O-Okay good..."

(Hilda) "Well whatever you guys decide to do, just don't let Claude se it!"

Marianne and S/O gave each other an awkward glance, putting it gently into their closet and deciding it'd be best to figure that out later.

They forgot about it, and Marianne gets jumpscared by the pillow of S/O sometimes.

A/N: OH MY GOOOOD IT'S SO NOSTALGIC WRITING FOR 3H AGAIN

[silvyavan]

Recent chapter being Follo's rise from the trenches (literally and metaphorically) is such a fantastic development.

People on Twitter and Reddit are howling how Follo might die after the trash beast is dead or how Rudo turned the hammer into a jinki but I honestly don't thinks that's the case.

The thing is that Follo clearly became a giver by several factors: the eye-flash is the same one Zodyl had when activating his jinki, the energy/anima on the hammer is white, not black which is the watchman color for activation and that Rudo never touched Follo's hammer at ALL, just his shirt.

But MOST of all, I want to point that the panel where Arkha said that some join for power had Follo in it. While in earlier chapters, Follo was in general given the characterisation that he wanted to be more useful.

Arkha had correctly clocked Follo wanting to join the cleaners for personal reasons. The reason why Follo COULDNT activate the hammer prior is because he was burdening himself with a one sided rivalry and wasn't honest with himself. We actually see that Follo isn't honest with himself at all in flashbacks, Rudo demanding him to bare his soul to him is just the push he needed to activate it.

You can't REALLY treasure something if you won't admit to yourself as to why you're keeping it. The sentiment is probably the reason why Follo's hammer looks like that.

Follo wanted to cultivate the hammer not because of rivalry, but because he wanted to be someone cool like the cleaners, to stand out in a faceless mob. A massive hammer stands out and does fit the rule of cool. Selfish desires are no less worthy of completion than noble desires.

Follo doesn't want his story to end there and Rudo probably sympathises with him. He didn't want his end to be in the forbidden either, so this in a way is Rudo's way of giving back to the cleaners, if indirectly. Plus, remembering the wall to do list probably was the push Follo needed to admit his real desires.

Rudo has plenty of selfish and noble desires, and that's probably what reminded Follo that he's just as human as he is.

[mrchiipchrome]

When Y/n Met Alessia

W.C.- 13,8 k

Warnings: angst

A/n: I don't have all the life expericence for this but oh well.

June 26th 2017

Stepping into the airport, the cool air a contrast to the uncommon but not unwelcome air of the hot and sticky June day. It wafts over your exposed skin, arms and legs free for the world to look at as you avoid the early morning traffic in the large London airport. 

You drag your suitcase behind you in a hurry as you look for gate 23, flight towards the so-called “land of dreams” waiting for you to board it. This time last year, you were looking at the mail telling you that you had the chance to play football in America on a full ride scholarship and further your ability to play the game.

The cheapest flight you had been able to find was one that required a stopover in North Carolina before taking you to LA, and UCLA. You didn’t mind the extra time it took to get to your final destination, always able to entertain yourself one way or another. 

Finally arriving at the gate, you sit down for a breather. To the left of you there was an older gentleman and to the right was one of the most gorgeous people you’d ever seen, the girl taller than most with blinding blond locks and glittering blue eyes able to captivate any soul.

“Gate 23 boarding now! Gate 23 boarding now!” You hear over the intercom, reminding you of whenever you’d travel with your team as a youngster. Loud sniffling from your right has you looking up and towards the young woman, obviously saying goodbye to her family standing around her. You stop looking at them when you once again hear the boarding call, standing up and walking to where you get your tickets scanned.

Sitting down in the comfortable seat beside the window, you put your bag under the seat in front of you before clicking the seatbelt into place and leaning back in the chair. Louis Armstrong’s strong vocals flow through the headphones placed on your head as you take a moment to relax after the hectic morning. You feel the shaking of the seat as another person sits in the seat beside you, their soft arm grazing yours as she accidentally kicks your shin. 

Peeking out one eye, you see the gorgeous blonde from before in the seat beside yours, the young girl sighing as she runs a hand over her face. Deciding to start a conversation, you quickly think of a point of conversation. You pull your headphones down around your neck, the music still playing loudly and providing a soundtrack to the whole scene. 

“Grape?” Holding out the bag of grapes to the stranger, who looks at you with a rather astonished look on her face. As expected, she shakes her head and you simply shrug, popping one right in your mouth and chewing on it for a second before spitting the core back into the bag.

“So, tell me the story of your life.” You’re nothing if not persistent, and right now you were persistent on speaking with the girl who seemed about your age. Looking on as she sputters and throws out different filler words, you continue to eat your grapes.

“We’ve got 12 hours until we reach North Carolina” You add on to your earlier comment.

“The story of my life? It won’t get us very far, that’s why I’m going to North Carolina.” There was a slight hesitance to her voice as she vaguely told you about her plans. You’re quick with your response.

“For something significant to happen to you? Pray tell, what?”

“I’m on a scholarship to play football, so that’s what I’ll do.” She snaps back.

“So you can go and play professionally later?” It wasn’t really phrased like a question, rather a statement.

“Yes, if I get the right opportunities then I will.” Her mind goes to a different place for a second, while you suddenly feel that drop of the stomach associated with rollercoasters. You hadn’t even noticed the plane moving, too caught up in your conversation with the pretty stranger.

“Suppose that doesn’t happen, suppose you don’t get those opportunities and instead of playing football you live out the rest of your life behind a desk until you die one of those tragic deaths that no one notices until the stench of death becomes overbearing, what happens then?” You knew it was quite harsh, but it was something you had to live with as a footballer, the fact that you might not get those opportunities that someone else might get.

The girl looks at you for a second, surprise clear in her expression before it turns slightly sour. She doesn’t even bother answering you as she puts on her own headphones and picks up a book, not paying attention to you anymore. You shrug as you return your headphones to your ears although keeping one off your ear, still eating your grapes.

“You have a dark side” Comes from the pretty blonde next to you, making you snap your head up in her direction.

“What?” She wasn’t expecting you to hear what she said as she looks towards you with a deer-in-the-headlights kind of look.

“A…A dark side. I said that you have a dark side.” Your eyes express a certain kind of playfulness unable to be expressed by your tone. 

“What a peculiar thing to say to a stranger. Nonetheless, it’s not like you’re wrong, the dark side is what draws them to me.” Your tone was full of mirth as you took in her closed off stature.

“Draws who to you?”

“The lasses, of course!” She looks at you skeptically, like she doesn’t really believe you before giving you a small smile. You shoot one back at her, feeling like she’s opening up slightly.

“Why don’t you have a dark side? I bet that you’re one of those people who dot their I’s with small hearts.” Somehow, it’s like the statement of her personality makes her open up fully to you.

“Hey! I’ve got just as much of a dark side as anyone.” The smile on her face gives you the indication that she in fact does not have the proclaimed dark side, instead being a ball of sunshine.

“Oh really? D’you want to know what I do when I buy a new book?” You don’t even give her time to answer before telling her. “I read the last page first so that if I die, I atleast know the ending. That, is what you call a dark side, my sweet stranger.” 

There is a pause in the conversation as she thinks over what you’d just said, before she answers you with just as much confidence.

“Well that doesn’t mean you’re deep or anything, you know? So what, I’m a happy person-” 

“Me too” She glares at your interruption before she continues. “And frankly, I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.”

“No, you’re too busy being happy to. Do you ever think about death? More than just a fleeting thought.” 

“Yes” She responds, albeit a little nervously.

“Sure you do, pretty girl. I spend hours thinking about-” The footballer besides you blushes as you call her pretty girl, which you make sure to take note of, the reaction making it all more fun for you.

“That’s what makes you such a great person?” She scoffs as she interrupts you like you did not too long before.

“No but when it happens, I’ll be prepared for it, unlike you. That’s my point”

“So you’re ruining your life in anticipation for an event which could be years, millenniums away?” Her tone indicates that she thinks your thought process is ridiculous and with that she turns back to her book. 

After dozing off for a few hours, you awake to the sound of the flight attendant asking you what meal you wanted. As soon as you get a hold of the meal, you dig into it, being hungry after your little nap.

“So, pretty girl, is there any chance for me to take you out for coffee?” You speak up between bites, the airplane food not really to your liking as you frown in slight disgust.

“What?” The fact that she isn’t laughing at you or optionally throwing her water in your face is a good sign to you.

“A coffee? You know the hot beverage you drink?”

“I know what coffee is, you moron” Holding your hands up beside your face in an ‘I’m innocent’ gesture, you don’t feel hurt by the remark in the slightest.

“So, coffee?” She runs her hand down her face once again before answering you.

“We are just going to be friends, okay?” She sounds serious, but you can’t help the small sting that comes with the rejection not really used to being rejected. Yet you slap on an unbothered tone when you say;

“Great, friends. The bestest of friends.”

The two of you eat in silence for a second before you once again interrupt it.

“Y’know, two attractive people can never be friends, which means that we can’t be friends”

“What? Why not?” She responds just as quickly.

“I don’t want you to think that I’m coming on to you or anything, but it’s just the attraction that comes between them” Alessia can feel herself losing brain cells as she listens to your commentary of friendship.

“That’s not true. I have a multitude of attractive friends who aren’t attracted to me.” Her irritation just serves as another reason to spur you on as you continue to babble on about attraction and how everything is made up. Under the short time you’ve spent together, she’s managed to learn how to tune you out and let your voice be part of the background.

“...And that’s why you can’t be friends with hot people as a hot person.”

“Mhm, yeah whatever you say.” You can tell that she’s tired of your constant babbling so you decide to just shut up and listen to your music. That leads to you once again falling asleep, although this time you sleep until the end of the long flight.

Coincidentally, it’s Alessia who has to wake you from your deep slumber, the woman muttering apologies as she accidentally hits you slightly too hard and making you wince. As you rise from your seats, you pick up the bag that you left before following Alessia out the plane.

You give her a small smile as she says goodbye, starting to walk away from you and effectively your life. That is when you realize that you hadn’t even introduced yourself before jumping right into the deep talk. 

“HEY! Pretty girl, wait up!” She slows her steps when she once again hears your voice echoing through all the chaos, waiting for you to catch up to her. She hears rapid footsteps coming towards her as you seemingly run as fast as you can.

“I never caught your name.”

“Alessia, that’s my name” Trying it out on your tongue, you decide that you adore the name she was given.

“Y/n, pleasure to meet you.”

And with that you went your separate ways, at least for a little while.

3 months later

After a good start to the college season you had been called up to the U20’s squad along with a multitude of people. So after packing enough clothes for a week, you set off back to your home country of England along with a certain forward you’d been keeping your eye on.

After another gruesome couple of hours sitting on a plane, this time next to a screaming baby and a grumbling old man, you finally arrive at the London airport where you’re later picked up by a staff member. The drive towards the hotel is a relatively short one, and when you step out of the car you suddenly feel as though you don’t belong there. The hotel is big, much larger than any hotel you’d ever been to before with tens of different floors and a humongous lobby. 

You get greeted by the concierge as soon as you walk in the doors, the place having been a drop off center for the footballers. Looking around the lobby, trying to recognise a few faces you suddenly feel a presence beside you.

Your eyes flit over to the left of you as you see one of your childhood friends from the Arsenal youth program talking with the gorgeous girl from the plane, Alessia the North Carolina footballer. You decide to slide up to the pair subtly, not interrupting their conversation as they laugh and talk. There is a pause as Lotte finally looks in your direction, gasping as she quickly takes you into her hold for a tight hug until she excitedly pulls away, ready to introduce you to one of her other best friends. Looking directly into Alessia’s breathtaking eyes for the first time since that flight, you decide to pretend to not recognise the girl who’d you kept up with even through all the time apart.

“Alessia, this is my childhood best friend Y/n Y/l/n, we played together on the Arsenal youth squad.  And Y/n, this is Alessia Russo, we play together for UNC” Lotte introduces you to each other and you see as a flash of recognition passes her eyes, remembering you from the plane ride. Smiling, you stick your hand out for her to shake as a gesture of politeness.

“Lovely to meet you Alessia Russo, I would stay to talk but I’ve got to talk to one of the coaches so I’ll see you both later.” The woman clutches your hand in a tight grip before letting go so that you can walk away from the two of them.

You feel a slight sense of déjà vu as you walk away from them, your suitcase rolling behind you like it had done the first time you’d met. Overhearing part of their conversation even after you’ve walked away, you hear Alessia tell Lotte about your behavior on the plane 3 months before.

Eventually, after talking with your coach to get a clear picture of how camp was going to go, you are informed of the meeting taking place in a couple of minutes meaning that you had to run to get there in time. Barging in through the doors, the only open seat around the large circular table is one between a brunette girl who’s name you hadn't learnt yet and Lotte. Much to your luck, Alessia is sitting next to the girl who looks up as you take your seat beside her. The head coach jumps right into the meeting when everyone is present, explaining which countries you would play and a couple other things you’d already known about from your earlier talk.

Leaning your body forward to look around that of the girl’s, you try to get Alessia’s attention with a quick but quiet enough whisper.

“Alessia, psst, Alessia, don’t ignore me.” As the last syllable falls from your lips she snaps her head towards you harshly and you’re surprised that she doesn’t get whiplash from the sudden movement. 

“What?” Her whisper is albeit a bit louder than yours, attracting the attention of the footballers around you as they watch the interaction.

“How’s life at UNC?” You reply back as she rolls her eyes dramatically, obviously annoyed by you talking to her. Before she can say anything, the brunette girl between you cuts in with her own question.

“Oh, do you two know each other?” She shifts her attention between you and Alessia, while you gesture for Alessia to answer.

“We sat together on a plane to America for 12 hours a couple of months ago” She grumbles out quietly, not wanting to pull more attention from the girls around her.

“Would you two like to sit together?” The girl offers.

“Yes” “No” Even with Alessia’s no, the girl gets up from her seat as you trade places subtly. 

“So how’s life been at UNC? Have you found love yet?” You ask her excitedly, nosy and ready for some insider information.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes I have a girlfriend” Her tone is nonchalant as she speaks, her gaze turned forwards so as to not give you any indication of what she’s thinking at that exact moment. After a few seconds of silence, you replicate her as you turn your gaze towards the front of the room.

“How about you then? Have you found someone?” Like a parrot, she repeats your earlier question.

“Yes, I met a lovely girl the first week of being there.”

“You found a girl who actually likes you? I guess every dog gets its day” Your mouth drops open in shock at her comment.

“First of all, rude. Secondly, I’m a terrific lover, just ask your mother.” The stunned silence was interrupted by the coach clapping his hands to signal the end of the meeting. Alessia stands up abruptly, picking up her luggage and walking out the room without another word. 

You quickly do the same, picking up everything and walking out the room at a fast pace to be able to catch up with the tall girl. Thankfully, your own legs were pretty long so it didn’t take long for you to be walking side to side with the blonde girl who was visibly annoyed at you. You laugh slightly as you speak up to get her attention;

“Hey wait up pretty girl, I’m sorry, sometimes my mouth moves faster than my brain can comprehend. How about you let me take you out for dinner as an apology?”

She sends you a glare at the suggestion, making you put one of your hands up in an ‘I’m innocent’ gesture before you turn back to the conversation.

“As friends of course” You gesture wildly with your hands to prove your point whilst she just continues to glare forward.

“I thought two attractive people couldn’t be friends” She quotes your exact words back to you, and seeing the opportunity to tease her even more, that is exactly what you do.

“So you think that I’m attractive then?” Out of the corner of your eye, you see how she splutters, trying to think of a reply before you decide to save her from the misery you created. But she seemingly gathers herself before you could speak the words on your mind, the girl obviously having some sort of resentment towards you by now.

“You’re insufferable, you know” After that she picks up her pace, walking away from you and effectively the conversation. It wasn’t like you didn’t know that you could be a bit unruly and insufferable sometimes, but that didn’t calm the sting any less. 

You leave the blonde girl alone for the rest of camp, not wanting to upset her even more than you already had. When you return to America it’s with the promise of getting called up more and a slightly bruised ego.

5 years later…

“She broke up with me, said she fell in love with her co-worker. I don’t know what I did wrong and it’s not fair that she gets to go and be happy with someone else when I wasted five fucking years of my life on her” You pace the length of the living room of your teammate’s apartment in Frankfurt where you were staying for a bit. As soon as your girlfriend - now ex - had revealed that she was in love with someone other than you, you packed up all your necessities before leaving the apartment you had called home for the last two years. At first, the only emotion coursing through your veins was sadness and genuine misery but that quickly transformed into rage at how she possibly could have done this to you.

Now you weren’t really sure what to feel, rambling to your absolute best friend since freshman year of college who never failed to lift your mood. After the uncertainty of the 2020 college season, you did as many other internationals did and signed a contract with a club in Europe who could ensure top level football. That’s where Eintracht Frankfurt came in, signing you before any other club could even offer you a contract.

After spending the last two years in the German league and your girlfriend breaking up with you, you needed new scenery and people to surround you with. Your preferred destination was that of your home country, after experiencing your first major tournament at home you quickly realized that very few things could compare to winning on home turf. And with your contract ending later in the season, you were pretty sure that you would get your homecoming soon.

But until that, you’d have to play in Germany seeing as the transfer window was still a few months away. 

“Jess, honestly I just want to go back to England and play. This city reminds me way too much of Heather, and it’s painful” The pure fatigue expressed through your voice over the crackling connection of her phone has Jessie worrying for your wellbeing.

“I think that it would be good for you to do what you want. I’m not going to tell you to stay or leave, do what feels right for you.” You stay quiet for a second, catching a glimpse of the clock situated near the entrance makes your eyes widen and you rush to apologize for taking up so much of her precious time before hanging up.

Slapping your hands over your face and sighing, you sit down on the couch while feeling the tears well in your eyes again. The emotional toll the last few days had on you put you right to sleep, unaware of the similar situation in your home country involving a certain blonde forward.

4 months later

Getting off the plane from Frankfurt to Manchester was a relief, even with the short duration it was a nightmare. A toddler seemed to think that the back of your seat was the perfect target for his feet to hit over and over, the young couple in front of you had decided to argue the entire time and give you a pounding headache, and to put the final nail in the coffin there was a horrible whistling sound that even your headphones couldn’t drown out. So to say that you were slightly regretting your decision to go on loan to the red devils was an understatement.

Instead of going directly to the hotel you would stay at while your living arrangements were in order, you were on your way to the training grounds for the mandatory signing pictures with the higher ups and to meet the team.

It was tedious to have to stand with all the men and pose for signing pictures but alas, it is part of the job, but what happens after that is what you’re looking forward to. Meeting your new team is usually a time where you get to know new people and a time of fun that you always take advantage of, which is exactly why when you stand beside the older man waiting for practice to end, you are practically bouncing off your feet in anticipation.

The whistle shrieking loudly wakes you from the slight daydream you were experiencing and you finally exit the tunnel behind the executive of the club. You can hear a faint introduction and how Marc tells the team about the arrival of a new player, trying to amp up the excitement of your new teammates.

As you come into view you hear a shout of excitement and you quickly brace yourself for the imminent hit of the Spanish girl’s body. Still, when her body slams into yours it knocks the air out of your lungs. She wraps her legs around your waist as you wrap your arms tightly around her midsection so that she wouldn’t fall.

“I can’t believe you’re here, I mean what are you doing here?” Her sweet accented voice expresses in disbelief, not really believing you were there.

“Onita, I’m the new player.” She releases her koala hold on you as she jumps down to the ground, but she doesn’t let you go too far before she wraps her arm around your waist while eagerly pulling you towards the rest of the team, who were watching the interaction with faces full of confusion.

Ona and you had a rather peculiar history, you’d met when you were vacationing in Spain when you were 7 years old. The two of you hit it off directly and that led to your entire vacation being spent with the Batlle family, culminating a great friendship between your families that led to you spending your summers in Spain. If you had international tournaments during the summer, then both you and Ona would take the same plane back to Spain, even if one of you had been knocked out earlier in the tournament. Her family was your family and vice versa, there was no denying how close the two of you were.

You timidly wave to the large selection of women before your rather lanky frame is pulled into yet another grip, this time into the strong grip of one Mary Earps who is clearly happy to see you there. Soon enough, you’re surrounded by the women in red asking question after question, to which you give answers.

Alessia hangs back, letting her teammates swarm you as she sits down on the grass pitch. She picks at the grass, pulling it out of the ground and twisting it between her long fingers as she waits for the team to be done. Eventually she hears everything quiet down as they vacate to the locker room to change and shower.

She hears the muted sound of you sitting down next to her, more flopping down onto the ground than sitting down you suppose. Alessia doesn’t give you any attention as she continues her minstations to the ground beneath her, although one question peaks her mind.

“How do you and Ona know each other?” With swift attention, you look at her before answering with a question of your own.

“The long or short version?” Your eyes stay glued to her side profile as she thinks, and your eyes ultimately meet hers when she turns her head in your direction.

“Long” With that you start telling the story, gesturing vividly with your hands to emphasize events and points of the story.

When the team finds you, you’re both laughing despite the cold settling deep into your bones, and they decide not to disturb you. If they’re being honest, they hadn’t seen Alessia that happy and at peace since she had been broken up with. 

At last, the two of you notice how dark it suddenly had become and as you look at the time displayed on your phone, you’re quick to get up. Holding out your hand, you pull Alessia back up to her feet, telling her the time and seeing as her eyes widen exponentially.

“I’m so sorry for taking up so much of your time” Her gaze softens as she looks up at you with her big doe eyes.

“Don’t be, I had fun. Now come on, I’ve got to change and then I’m taking you home” You open your mouth to protest, but she gives you a stern look that tells you she’s not going to change her mind.

A soft smile grazes your face as you stand outside of the locker room, waiting for the girl you had been so desperate to befriend, the girl who hadn’t given you the time of day during all the camps since the one in late 2017.

“You ready to go?” You just nod your head instead of giving her a verbal response, not trusting your voice after you’d seen the way her eyes shifted around your face and how her wet hair was spayed out over her shoulders.

“So how’s the girlfriend?” She asks you, the question innocent in its own right, but it digs up some emotions you’d rather not deal with at that exact moment. So instead, you push them down, telling her about the break up.

“She broke up with me, something about falling in love with one of her co-workers. I wasted 5 years of my life with her, but it doesn’t matter anymore because I’m over her. How about you? How’s it going with the missus?” Alessia’s heart broke for you, spending 5 years of your life with someone only for them to betray your trust and fall in love with someone else while still in a relationship.

“Oh, we broke up. Grew apart, and it just didn’t work out the way we wanted.” Somehow, even after the revelation of your relationships ending the mood wasn’t dampened as she drove you to the hotel you were staying at and waved goodbye with a promise to pick you up for training in the morning.

—-

“No, the order goes like this nr 1 the original Die Hard, then Die hard 2, after that it’s Die hard 4, Die hard 3 and last of all Die hard 5. It’s the only acceptable order to rank the movies in, I can’t believe how much you butchered your list.” You exclaim as you’re exiting her car, closing the door with a little more power than usual as the two of you march towards the training grounds side by side. Alessia had been over at your apartment the last few days for your movie nights, and you had been watching Die Hard together which led to this exact discussion.

“What!? The second Die Hard movie is superior, it beats the first one by a noticeable margin.” She notices the offended look on your face as she continues. “It has more suspense, better bad guys, better storyline, superior cinematography and is just an all around better movie” By now, you’ve entered the locker room as she argues her point.

“No, you’re all wrong-”

“Girls, girls, leave your nerdy arguments outside of this locker room please.” Ella slid in between the two of you, looking much smaller beside two of the tallest players on the team. She reaches her arms up to wrap around you and Alessia's shoulders, nearly hanging off the ground as you and Alessia lower your heads slightly. You look at her quickly, communicating with her through your eyes as you both come to an agreement.

“Die Hard 5 is the worst one in the series, right?”

“Right” She responds.

—-

A morning without training meant that you and Alessia went out for breakfast together. You walk to the small local coffee shop together, talking and laughing along the way. After ordering your small breakfast sandwich and a coffee, you sit down outside to wait for Alessia to order whatever she wants. 

The little bell above the door rings when Alessia exits and walks over to you, she sits down in the chair opposite your own. You sit in a comfortable silence for a while, waiting for the waiter to bring you the breakfast you’d ordered. When it finally arrives, you don’t wait a second before biting into the fresh bread.

“Lessi, when are you going back out on the market? I mean it’s been a couple of months since the break up, are you ready?” She sighs at the mention of her love life, knowing about the date Ella had set up for her later that day.

“Ella set me up with a blind date later tonight, so I can only hope that she chose a good one for me” That usual teasing look was back on your face as you tease her relentlessly for her date.

But when you’ve finished teasing her, you fix her with a soft smile, promising to help her get ready for the date itself. A decision you later regret as she looks between 2 shirts who in your opinion, looked the exact same.

“Less, they look the same. Choose one of them and move on, it’s not that hard. If you don’t hurry you’re going to be late.” She finally decides on the one she’s holding in her right hand and as she puts it on your jaw is on the floor, the girl in front of you looking nothing short of incredible.

“Well, what do you think?” She asks, sounding like she’s speaking under water as you just look at her, not uttering a word. She twists her rings around her fingers nervously as she awaits your reaction, but based on how you were looking at her she could only assume that she looked at least okay.

“You look…incredible, the woman lucky enough to get a date with you should be happy.” Her beaming smile and slight blush tells you everything needed to be known.

“Now, come on, you have to go or you’re going to be late. Be sure to tell me all the details later.” She blushes slightly before she rushes out her front door without closing it, already knowing you have a key to lock it all up behind her.

“So Lessi, how’d the date go? Was she everything you dreamed about and more?” You teased as she arrived at the training center the morning after her date. You had walked to training that day, not wanting to bother the blonde girl after her date.

“Horribly, she couldn’t stop talking about her ex and then she expected me to pay for everything. I don’t think I’ll ever find love again.” She exclaims dramatically, waving around with her hands before dropping them back to her side. You giggle slightly at her over dramatic behavior before you cut in with your own suggestion.

“Well, how about you join me for a double date? I have a friend who I think would be perfect for you.” At first, the girl beside you feels the need to decline the generous offer before she thinks of her friend who she’d consider your perfect match.

“Deal” She reaches her hand out for you to shake as to close a deal.

—-

Walking into the restaurant with your friend by your side, you look for Alessia’s familiar blond hair which you find after a second of looking. You walk over to where she’s sitting with her friend, her friend who seems more interested in your friend than you. The seat beside Alessia is open and you push your friend towards it, while you sit down in the chair opposite her.

“Less, this is Olivia. Olivia, this is Alessia.We play together for United.” You introduce the two women to each other as they look each other up and down, trying to see if the other matches their type. Alessia soon realizes that it’s her turn to introduce you to her friend.

“Y/n/n, this is Ava. Ava, this is Y/n. Ava, you and Y/n studied the same thing at uni.” Alessia tries to get you and her friend talking before trying to engage with Olivia.

“Oh, really? What did you study?” You turn towards the girl while speaking to her, curious about her major when she was in school. She shoots you an awkward thin lipped smile before telling you.

“Uhm, I had a major in journalism and a minor in sports science” The girl tells you, albeit a bit nervously.

The 4 of you around the table converse with each other the rest of the meal, bonding slightly and seeing the different things you have in common. But when the desserts come out is when the real party starts. You’ve all had a couple glasses of wine, to the point where you could be considered somewhat tipsy and conversation is flowing nicely. Your date, Ava, seems more interested in moving her dessert around on her plate than talking to you, talking at all. That is until the local paper is named, more specifically the send-in segment of the paper where you could send in all types of questions to be answered. You didn’t even know that anyone actually read the physical copies of the paper anymore.

“I read that for a successful date you need spontaneity, discovery and quality time.” You overhear Olivia tell Alessia, who nods diligently instead of responding. Out of the corner of your eye you see how Ava perks up at what was said.

“Wait, where did you read that?” She asks, making Olivia look at her instead of the fishtank behind you. 

“In the local paper, why?” Olivia responds confusedly, not knowing where the conversation was going.

“No way! I wrote that” Ava exclaims excitedly, happy that someone was interested in her work.

Alessia and you give each other a look as the women beside you jump into talking, leaving the two of you out of the conversation. It goes on for a while before you all decide to wrap up the date, paying and walking out the door with your respective dates by your sides just all talking. Both you and Alessia pull your friends away to separate corners of a building after walking for a while, you and Olivia going to the left corner while Alessia and Ava go to the right.

“Are you planning on calling Ava?” She quickly asks you, hope present in her eyes, hope that spreads around her entire face when you shake your head no. 

“But, just restrain from doing it tonight. Alessia just got broken up with and she’s still a little sensitive, y’know.” You respond, but your words just seem to go in one ear and out the other. Across the walkway, Alessia holds the same conversation with Ava.

“What do you think of Olivia?” She asks eagerly, Alessia seeing her friend's excitement.

“Meh, not really my type. I probably wouldn’t go on another date with her, but if you want to then it's totally fine. I’m just a little worried about Y/n, make sure you don’t reject her now, she’s going through a kind of rough patch you know.”

“Yeah okay, I understand.” She responds as the two groups join together again.

“Well, I don’t really feel like walking anymore, I’ll call a taxi.” Olivia waves her hand, much like they do in New York and luckily for her, a cab stopped for her.

“I’ll go with you” Ava exclaims as they cram into the back of the taxi together.

You laugh at their antics, slipping your fingers between Alessia’s as you pull her along with you.

“Come on, I’ll walk you home.” You and Alessia talk all the way back to her house, stumbling over your own feet a couple of times before reaching your final destination. You walk her up the steps before looking on as she opens her door.

Turning away, you start your descent down the steps you hear Alessia call out your name, and you turn back to her as she’s beckoning you over. When you finally reach her she puts her hands on your neck, pulling you in for one of the softest kisses you’ve ever received, from the best pair of lips you’d ever felt against your own.

“Bye Y/n”

—-

Two weeks later

You and Alessia were standing in the middle of the everything store as you called it, looking for the perfect present for one of your teammates birthdays. Your arm is slung around her shoulders as you look at the multitude of different stuff littered around the store. 

Your eyes catch those of a woman standing in the middle of the store, her eyes displaying hints of recognition as she stares at you. The man beside her follows her gaze and his eyes widen exponentially at the glare he’s shot. It wasn’t like you didn’t recognise the girl you’d been dating for over 5 years and the man she’d apparently fallen in love with while still with you. 

Alessia notices the lull in conversation and it makes her follow your gaze until it lands on the now approaching couple. Your fight-or-flight response kicks in as soon the woman stands a couple of steps in front of you. Alessia looks on in question as you refuse to meet her gaze, instead just looking at the woman you once called your own.

“Hi Y/n” She says and the sound of her voice revolts you to a point where you barely can hold back a giggle of disgust from escaping your throat. But despite your vivid reaction, the blood still drains from your face as you continue to look at the girl who broke your heart all those months ago and where she stands in the new town you now call home.

“Hello Heather, what are you doing in Manchester?” Your voice is strained and out the corner of your eye you see Alessia’s confused expression ease slightly. 

“Oh, William and I are just out here visiting family to tell them we’re expecting.” Heather turns to her side, showing off the bump that came with being pregnant. 

“Expecting what? A fucking demon? Well, have fun with that and one more thing, I never want to see you again so bye” You send them one last glare and a very sarcastic glare as you pull Alessia with you out of the store and down onto the sidewalk. You clutch her hand tightly as you move your quickest to get as far away from the store that held Satan and Satan’s spawn in it. You’ve reached the park where the old people reside when Alessia starts to call your name.

“Y/n. Y/n. Stop, we need to talk about this instead of running away from it.” She tells you, trying to get you to slow down. When you don’t, she pulls her hand away from your grip making you look at her.

“Who was that?” Alessia’s tone is as soft as a feather when she asks you, not wanting to spook you. When she sees the light sheen of tears covering your eyes, her heart breaks.

“That…was my ex” You confirm her earlier thoughts before continuing, “Fucking hell, I can’t believe her. How fucking insensative can you be to fucking do that to someone? Demented psycho.” You speak mostly to yourself.

“Hey, maybe we should go somewhere else for this conversation. There is a time and place for this, and it’s not now nor here.” She concludes.

“Well, next time I run into my ex I’ll make sure to schedule it and make sure it’s before your next lesson.” You say rather loudly, and make a few lingering couples look at you from their park benches.

“Hey! Don’t take this out on me, it’s not my fault that you ran into your ex.”She tells you in a more intense tone than before.

“I think I’m pretty entitled to throw anger pretty much everywhere, especially when I’m told how to live my life by Miss happy-go-lucky.” You know that your anger is directed at the wrong person but when you’ve started, it’s hard to stop. Alessia exhudes annoyance as she continues the conversation.

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” She asks you harshly, like she’d done in the beginning when you’d met each other.

“It means that you’re never upset! Over anything! Nothing bothers you, not even your ex.” Her expression shifts into one of anger at your words.

“You’re insufferable” She turns her heel, ready to walk away from where you stand with your arms crossed loosely across your chest, but that’s before she hears your apparent question.

“So you’ve told me! But tell me this, if you’re so over your ex then why do you not go out with people? Meet your match.” She stops in her tracks and looks back at you, fury prevalent in her gentle baby blue eyes.

“I go out with people” She exclaims angrily, walking towards you in the park. Her finger digs uncomfortably into your chest.

“Oh, you do? How many people have you been on a date with since your ex? Excluding our double date, the number is pretty low right?” Her finger digs deeper into your sternum, to the point of it hurting as she becomes even more infuriated. You see as her eyes gain their own light sheen of tears. That’s when you realize you’ve gone too far, never wanting to make the blonde girl you liked oh so much cry. But in your own misery you managed to cross that fragile line, going too far yet again. You know what they say, ‘misery loves company’ and this time your misery succeeded.

“What does that have to do with anything?” She questions, moving closer to you, so close that you can feel her breath wafting across your face. “Going on dates has no correlation to getting over someone, I can’t believe you sometimes” She shakes her head as a tear slips out the corner of her eye and tracks down her cheek, where you wipe it off with your thumb softly.

“Are you finished now?” The soft look is back in your eyes as you look at the sweet girl in front of you.

“Yes” She responds shakily, her voice matching her nervous expression.

“Can I say something?”

“Yes” She repeats.

“I’m sorry” You tell her, pulling her shaking form into your arms and comforting the shorter girl. “I’m so sorry, my love”

—

A week later, both you and Alessia had been invited over to your skipper’s house for team bonding. This time around it consisted of playing board games with the entire team. At the start of the night, Katie had the entire team get into groups of 2, you and Ona pairing up while Alessia and Ella paired up. Much to your ‘surprise’, Ona and you dominated every game. Monopoly, yes. Twister, definitely but you had been sat in quite the awkward situation with Alessia when you had to basically lay on top of her. Uno, you and Ona had always paired up for the game ever since you were 8 and you’d been winning ever since.

“Alright, gather around, gather around we’re going to play pictionary. Alessia, you’re up so take a card and draw.” Katie says as you all look towards the blue eyed beauty. She walks up to the drawing board, card in hand as the time starts. She draws different unintelligible squiggles and shapes, the seemingly randomly placed lines not making much sense. The time soon runs out and without anyone able to guess what it was she had drawn, Alessia sighs defeatedly. 

“Come on, it’s a pirate in his ship” She throws out her explanation haphazardly and a few people around the room let out ‘ahhs’ in recognition of the now understandable picture.

“Y/l/n, your turn” Katie calls out for you to go up to the board placed in the middle of the room. You stand up taking a card from the holder, before you pluck the pen from Alessia’s hand as you send her a teasing wink. Her face darkens exponentially with the blush that covers it, breaking your eye contact as she looks away from you.

“Watch and learn how it’s done, love” You tell her cockily, starting to draw as soon as it’s called out that the timer has started. Within a few seconds Ona had been able to correctly guess what you had started to draw, your scattered teammates claiming the two of you cheated. As you sit back down in your previous seat beside Ona, you send another stealthy wink towards Alessia.

A few more rounds of the game go by, Ona and you guessing right a few times and effectively gaining a couple points. Eventually, Katie concludes the game making Ona and you the winners of yet another game. You were just on the same wavelength.

It had managed to get really late by that point, time for you all to return home. But before that there was a small prize ceremony, you and Ona being coined the queens of game night where you were given a small trophy each and jokingly gave thank you speeches. You all helped clean up before calling it a day, leaving the house in herds. 

Just as you were beginning to start your walk back home, still not willing to buy a car even after 3 months back in your home country, Alessia calls your name.

“Y/n, come on I’ll drive you home.” She tells you, and once again you realize that you don’t have a choice on the matter when you turn around and look her right in her eyes. Sighing, you follow her back to her car where you see a barely conscious Ella Toone sitting shotgun meaning you would have to sit in the backseat.

The music played over the radio is quiet and the silence between the three of you serene. You enjoy it thoroughly following a night of shouts and loud noises. After a while Alessia stops the car to let Ella climb out of the car and go back into her house, before continuing the drive towards your apartment building. When the car is standing still at a red light, you climb into the front seat that Ella previously occupied, still not saying a word. In fact, you don’t utter a word until Alessia pulls up to your apartment building. 

“Thank you Less” Out of the corner of your eye you see her smiling softly at you and you can’t resist the urge to press a kiss to the corner of her lips, all the summers in Spain making you pick up on the overly affectionate nature.

“Good night miss Russo” With that you exit the vehicle, hearing a faint “Good night miss Y/l/n” back.

—

Watching a rerun of an old game alone in your apartment, you suddenly hear the specialized ringtone you set just for Alessia echoing throughout the apartment. You look at the device in confusion before pressing the green button to accept the call. The first thing you hear is her labored breathing coming through the speakers of your phone making you perk up. The next thing you hear is her desperate and tear filled voice,

“Y/n, can you come over? I need you”

There isn’t even a second thought as you tell her you’ll be over as fast as you could, hanging up you pull on a sweater hanging loosely on a chair in the corner of your room before rushing towards the entrance, your socks sliding across the floor a couple of times. You shove your feet in your shoes, throwing open the door and nearly forgetting to lock up the apartment in your rush. There is nothing else you can do other than sprint all the way to her apartment, and for the first time since you arrived in England you curse yourself for not investing in a stupid car.

You’re fully out of breath by the time you knock on the large wooden door, the run extremely tiring despite you being an athlete. The tear tracks on her face stand out against her fair skin, a sharp contrast from her usual look.

She pulls you into her house as she continues to sob violently, your heart breaking a little every time she lets out the heart breaking sound. After closing the door behind you, you follow her into her bedroom where she lays down on her bed. Sitting down beside her splayed out form, you put your hand on her shoulder which makes her sit up slowly. She gives you a sad look that has you pulling her body into your own, rubbing slow comforting circles into her back as she cries into your neck. The skin there quickly becomes wet with a mixture of snot and tears.

After a while, you pull her face away from its hiding place, holding her at arm's length. 

“What’s wrong my sweet girl?” You ask her, wiping away the tears that just seemed to flow continuously down her cheeks.

“My ex is getting married” She sees the confusion on your face so she explains further, “it means that it wasn’t that she didn’t want to get married, she just didn’t want to marry me.” A new wave of tears flow down the premises of her cheeks as she mutters out the words that had been eating away at her conscience. 

“Hey, Hey, Alessia let’s backtrack okay. Did you ever ask her to marry you?” You question the girl softly.

“No, but we always talked about how pointless it was and how we didn’t want to be stuck in a loveless marriage.” She whispers back to you, her energy low from crying.

“Okay, now would you want to marry your ex?” She shakes her head vigorously to make her point. “So if you don’t want to marry her, then why are you getting so worked up?” She gives you a small shrug in response, not really knowing what to say.

“Less, there are millions of people who would marry you in a heartbeat if they had the chance. Your ex is a very incredibly stupid person for letting someone as good as you go.” You reassure the forward softly, looking her directly in the eyes to show her that you’re telling the truth.

“Do you really think that?” She asks you timidly.

“No” You respond, “I know it.”

Alessia’s eyes flicker between your lips and your eyes, leaning in towards you. You stop her when her lips are millimeters from your own, feeling like you would be taking advantage of her vulnerable state.

“Lessi, I don’t know if this is the best idea. You’re not thinking clearly.” You whisper against her lips and she closes her eyes.

“I’m thinking more clearly than I ever have, and what I’m thinking is that I want you right here right now. Trust me when I say I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.” She moves your hands along with her words, and if your conscience was a little stronger maybe what transpired past that point wouldn’t have happened. 

Alessia takes your face in her soft hands, pulling you with her as she lays back down on her bed. You lay on top of her, kissing passionately before moving your lips down the column of her neck kissing and sucking deep and dark marks into the skin. Alessia lets a multitude of pretty sounds escape her lips as she writhes underneath you.

You trail your kisses back up to her lips, mouths moving together in harmony and creating the perfect balance between pleasure and lightheadedness. The kisses you place on her move down her body yet again and as you reach the hem of her shirt, you pull on it slightly to signal that you want the piece of clothing removed from its place on her upper body. You look at her body with such an intensity that she squirms, moving around on her bed. After looking at her for a bit, you go back to kissing her neck and running your hands all over her body…

Waking up nude as the day you were born in your teammates bed wasn’t something that happened often, despite being known for being somewhat of a “playboy” you rarely ever took anyone back to bed. 

So when you wake up to an unfamiliar ceiling and a weight pinning you to the bed, a weight with blonde hair nonetheless, you go into what can only be described as panic mode. Looking at the clock beside her bed, you realize that you’re really fucking late for the photoshoot you had planned with United’s management. Both Ona and you had missed the first shoot for the new kit, so now the two of you had to go in during your day off to do it so that the media could release all the pictures. 

Carefully, you slide out from the death grip the forward had on your torso, replacing your body with a pillow. Quickly and soundlessly, you collect your scattered clothes from the ground and pull them on as you go. Just as you’re pulling your pants up to cover your legs you hear the slight rustling of the bedsheets, signaling that Alessia now in fact was awake.

She sits up, covering her upper half with the covers as if you haven't already seen everything, as she watches you getting ready.

“Were you just going to leave me while I slept?” She asks in slight disbelief.

“No, I was just going to put my clothes back on to get, y’know decent, before waking you. I have that shoot with Ona today, the one I told you about a few days ago.” She nods her head, remembering you telling her about it just a couple days before.

“I’ll take you out on a date after, okay?” She nods once again and you kiss her on her forehead before leaving. The first thing you both do after you close the door to her home is call your respective best friends. Ella and Ona both get a call at the same time, Ona in her car on the way to pick you up and Ella still in her bed. Both you and Alessia tell the women about what had transpired the night before and give them the full rundown of the happenings. You both end the call by telling them that you’d tell the other that the night was a mistake and that it didn’t matter. In her car, Ona laughs before quickly changing direction to instead drive to Alessia’s place.

As Ona pulls up in front of Alessia’s house, she sees the absolute state you’re in. Dark hickeys painting your neck and lips still swollen from the kisses you’d shared with the blonde the night before. She snickers loudly as you enter the car with tired limbs flying all over the place.

“Shut up” You demand softly, a small smile still creeping up on your face.

“I didn’t even say anything!” She responds but continues to give you more than telling teasing looks throughout the entire ride.

When you arrive where the shoot is supposed to be held, the make-up artist sighs and glares at you playfully when she notices the deep dark blueish purple bruises on your neck.

After having about 1000 different photos taken of you in the new kit and all the accessories, you and Ona are let go. She drives you back to your house to get ready for your date, well you get ready for your date while Ona plays games on her phone listening to you rant about your situation. You wear a simple dress shirt with a pair of black slacks and a black belt to accompany it.

Walking over to Alessia’s in good time, because you still didn’t have a car and you didn’t want to bother Ona more, especially when she was slumped over snoring softly.

Like usual, Alessia would be driving as she trusts very few people with her car. Knocking on her door, she steps out looking like she had just stepped out of the most prestigious fashion magazine, wearing a sleek black dress that hugged just the right curves. It knocks the wind out your lungs and you nearly regret your decision to tell her what happened didn’t matter, but it was the right thing to do. Messing up team dynamics was not something you were keen on doing.

The drive passes in comfortable silence and you reach the restaurant within 10 minutes. You get seated as soon as you walk in and you both order a drink that you sip on, waiting for the other to speak up.

“It was-”

“Last night-”

You let out a chuckle at the coincidence of you both speaking at the same time, motioning for her to take the stage and speak first.

“Last night shouldn’t have happened, it was a mistake” Her voice conveys a thousand different emotions, but you choose to focus on the truth in her voice and tune out all the other emotions. Alessia’s eyes tell you more than her words ever could, that she didn’t regret it and that she definitely enjoyed what had happened, but that like you she didn’t want to mess up dynamics.

“I agree” You speak up, just as many different emotions in your voice as there had been in hers. 

“Alright, then. Now with that out of the way, let’s enjoy this outing.” She ends the conversation by starting another one directly after and you just go along with it. For the rest of the date Alessia and you converse about all things possible, everything from football to how the photoshoot had gone.

—

A small injury you sustained before international break left you unable for selection, and frankly making you that much more miserable. Two weeks had already passed since the ‘incident’ and the two of you had continued to act as normal as you could with the obvious shift in your relationship.You acted like you had before the shift around your friends, but the very minimal communication outside of training hurt more than you could’ve imagined. She no longer picked you up for training, meaning you either had to walk or have another teammate pick you up. The picking up part didn’t bother you all that much, the extra walking good for your health and stamina, it was the no communication that bothered you. Nonetheless, you knew she was there for you if you needed her.

But despite her going AWOL on you the first two weeks after it happened, except for training, you still expected her to call while she was away at camp or atleast check in with you from time to time. Much to your dismay, that didn’t happen.

You chalked it up to her just being busy and not finding any time to speak with you, national team duties and all. And even though Ona teased you relentlessly every time you checked your phone, looking for a message or a notification for a missed call (even though you had the volume all the way up to be able to hear if she called), you still did it. You couldn’t care less about looking desperate, because you were. And it was Ona’s fault she had to deal with your sulking, it was after all her who decided that she was going to live with you during the break to help out. 

When everyone arrived back from the break, you all decided that a night out at the local pub was a great way to celebrate that. What more could you want other than a nice night out dressed up to the nines and the ability to down a lot of alcohol. 

You and Ona arrive fashionably late, and together seeing as you had basically stuck to her side the entire break. The both of you are dressed your best, the traffic slowing you down significantly. Everyone was already there when you walked in the doors, mingling with each other and drinking different types of fruity drinks. You and Ona were deep in conversation, speaking catalan with each other like you usually did when you didn’t want the others to understand what you were talking about, it was a language you had picked up at the same time you learned Spanish. This time you two were talking about your favorite blonde’s absence.

Your captain waves you over to where most of the team was standing, your eyes immediately searching for Alessia’s as soon as you entered the small circle that had been created. When you can’t seem to find her, you quickly realize that she wasn’t there. 

It doesn’t take long for you to be swept up in a conversation with Lucía in her native language, distracting you from your search for the blonde you adored.

 You eventually notice Alessia moving towards the group, looking like she owned the entire universe and you couldn’t keep your eyes off her.

After a couple drinks, you finally gain enough courage to go over to the star-eyed forward whom you can’t get enough of. You come up behind her as she’s talking to some random girl you don’t recognise.

“Excuse me, can I steal this lovely girl away from you?” The unfamiliar girl looks slightly weirded out but she leaves nonetheless, taking up the space she occupied just a second ago. 

“Hello” You greet her, albeit a bit awkwardly and like you hadn’t just scared away the girl she was probably flirting with.

“Hi” She replies just as awkwardly as you had.

“So, are you seeing anybody?” You ask her lightheartedly, aimed at the girl who she’d been with. Alessia stares back at you with slight annoyance present in her eyes.

“Y/n”

“What?” You retort with the same lighthearted tone as before, despite her annoyed one and the clear annoyance growing on her face.

“I don’t want to talk about this.” She tells you seriously, her voice leaving no room for the questions you ask either way.

“What? Why not?” Your tone quickly loses its lightheartedness, getting replaced by a seriousness that isn’t quite you. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She once again repeats and you sense her reluctance to talk about what happened between the two of you. You sigh, already tired of the conversation despite it not really having started yet.

“Can’t we just get past this? Or are we going to continue to act like nothing happened?” You ask the question that’s been playing on your mind since about 2 weeks back. “It’s been forever” You continue talking.

“Forever!? It just happened!” She exclaims angrily, throwing her arms up like she always does when she’s exasperated.

“Lessi, it happened a month ago!” Alessia seemingly didn’t have anything to add as she stays silent, not even looking at you and giving you the silent treatment.

“Y’know a year to a human is like 7 years to a dog” The statement regains her attention and makes her put on a sickeningly sweet smile, most likely sarcastic though you can’t really tell.

“Is one of us supposed to be the dog in this scenario?” Despite her sarcastic expression, her voice is appalled at your obliviousness. How could you possibly make this worse for yourself?

“Yes”

“And who, pray tell, is the dog?” She speaks nonchalantly, almost luring you into a false sense of security and almost making you feel like you’re out of the danger zone. Spoiler alert, you aren’t.

“You are” And that’s how you effectively made it worse for yourself.

“I- I’m the dog!?” She asks almost threateningly, not making you question your safety yet but definitely making you feel a little unsafe.

“Yep” There you go, making it even worse for yourself.

She grabs your hand in a death grip, pulling you in the direction of the bathroom where there’s more privacy and easier to hear each other. Alessia has to scream to be heard over the loud music as you near the bathrooms.

“I don’t see how I’m the dog, if anyone's the dog here then it’s you. It’s you who wants to act like what happened didn’t mean anything” She shouts into your ear, the music a bit overwhelming.

“Hey, I’m not saying it didn’t mean anything, it definitely meant something to me. What I’m saying is that it doesn’t have to mean everything. I mean, why does it? Have to mean everything?” That’s what you don’t understand about the girl, why did it have to mean everything?

“Because it does” By now you had reached the much quieter bathroom, able to speak to each other normally. “Not that you would know, you walked out the door as soon as it happened.” The muffled music serves as a nice distraction from the conversation, the thick walls of the bathroom shutting most of it out.

“I didn’t walk out” You quickly retorted, defending yourself from the accusation.

“No” Alessia responds, “you sprinted.” She concludes her argument.

“One, I was very late that day and two, we both agreed that it was a mistake.” She looks at you with so much venom in her eyes you would think she was part of the MCU.

“The worst mistake of my entire fucking life” Alessia manages to spit out in fury and through clenched teeth. By now the argument was just going in circles, a tiring back and forth that you had little interest in continuing.

“What do you want from me Alessia?” You ask her through a sigh,carefully choosing your words so that you wouldn’t agitate the woman even more.

“Nothing, absolutely nothing.” Her response just confuses you all that much more, as does her sudden protective stance. 

“Fine, fine. You want nothing from me, but let’s make one thing clear, I did not go over to your place that night with the intention to make love with you. That is not why I went over there. You wanted to do what we did just as much as I wanted to do it, I mean you still wanted to do it even after I told you that your judgment might have been clouded. We’re both adults here.” You run your hands down your face, just wanting the ground to swallow you whole.

“I can’t believe you sometimes, you insufferable prick!” Her eyes fill with tears as she turns around, not wanting to let you see her vulnerable.

“Alessia, come on” You get out, before she turns around and slaps you as hard as she possibly can, rings and all still sitting on her pretty fingers. After that she storms out of the confined space, searching after Ella needing the comfort she provides. Tears once again run down Alessia’s face as she pulls Ella away from the dance floor, her best friend understanding exactly what she needs and she leads Alessia out of the club arm around her shoulder while whispering comforting words into the blonde’s hair. 

Back in the bathroom you’re splashing water onto your face, the mark from her perfectly manicured hands making its very red way onto your face. You observe the handprint in the mirror, Alessia’s rings cutting deep into your skin and making it look all that more gruesome. One of your fingers come up to press on the rapidly bluing mark on your face, it hurts but maybe that’s what you deserve for fucking everything up yet again. You spit out the small amount of blood that accumulated in your mouth, wiping your lips with your sleeveless arm and the blood now stains the skin there instead of your mouth.

At last, you walk out of the bathroom to find Ona and go home. Many of the patrons scattered around look at you with a mixture of pity and concern as you move towards where Ona stands, talking to a pretty girl. You can’t help but feel bad for her, having to take care of you because of your dumb decisions, but like the pact you had made at 14 led ‘your dumb mistakes are my dumb mistakes’.

A drop of blood lands next to Ona as you place your hand on her shoulder, and she can’t help the way her eyes widen at your state. She apologizes to the girl, telling her that you were family and that she had to help you home. Much to Ona’s relief, the girl reassures her that she understood, having her own friends to take care of.

She leads you out to the car, opening the door for you and helping you buckle in before moving towards the driver's seat. You slump quietly against the car door, not acknowledging anything, not even as she takes you to her apartment instead of yours, not wanting to leave you alone to your own devices. 

She leads you up to her apartment, kicking the door closed behind her before she takes the familiar route to her bathroom. Ona pushes you to sit on the toilet cover as she gets her wipes from the cabinet under her sink, gently taking your face into her hands as she wipes away the dried blood and remaining sweat from your face. When she’s done she tells you to remain seated as she fetches a pair of your old shorts she had stolen from you many years ago and one of her oversized t-shirts. Your eyes fill with tears at the help you’re receiving from the shorter girl, and one of them escapes your eye when she gives you a kiss on the forehead. She wipes it away, telling you that you could sleep in her room if you wanted. You decline, taking the couch more than enough for you. A lingering goodnight later and you’re sitting on the couch in the pajamas you had gotten. 

Suddenly you’re reminded of how you had been in the same situation all those months ago when you had just been broken up with. Sitting on a friends couch (although the friend was more family than friend) in deep fucking misery and feeling like your life was over.

—

Over the next month, you and Alessia don’t say a word more than necessary to each other, you only speak when absolutely vital and only put away your dislike of the other during games. Your teammates notice the more than obvious shift between the two of you, going from carpooling together everyday to not even saying hi in passing.

It wasn’t that you didn’t try, it was all you did the first two weeks but all Alessia did was ignore you, ignore your entire existence. Ella was also glaring at you now, a lot. Wherever you went you could feel Ella’s glare situated firmly on you. Another thing you noticed was how Alessia had seemed to want to make your life as much of a living hell as possible, tackling you hard every chance she got in training and making sure you got a fresh set of bruises every day you went home , most of them covering your legs and ribs.

Now the only two people you hung out with were Ona and Maya, who you had grown really fond of during your time spent at the club.

During all this time all you tried to do was make everything right again with Alessia, calling her every evening and making sure to leave a voicemail when she inevitably didn’t answer. The voicemails consisted of telling her about your day, small jokes Maya had told you, random facts and stupid things Ona had done.

What you didn’t know was that Alessia listened to every single one of them, laughing at certain points and catching herself smiling at your voice and sometimes even letting the sound of your voice lull her to sleep. Every night she listened to them she worked up the courage to answer the phone.

One day, after the last game of the season had passed she finally gained enough courage to pick up the phone when you called.

“Hey Less, no, hi Alessia” She hears you mutter into the receiver, clearly not having heard her accepting the call.

“What do you want?” Alessia cringes at her harsh tone.

“OH, Alessia, hi” You were obviously surprised when she picked up the phone, being used to it going to voicemail. “I called to say that I’m sorry, and to ask if you had a date to the end of year party tonight?” Alessia can’t help but roll her eyes at your stupid question, hanging up before you can say another word.

On the other side of the line you look up at the ceiling, defeated. The phone in your hand rings again and you look at it hopefully, but seeing Ona’s name splayed across your buzzing screen leaves you to flop back down onto the bed. Either way, you accept the call, Ona’s comforting voice flooding through the speakers.

“Are you done yet?” Her accented voice asks hopefully.

“I’m not going Onita” You hate to break her hopeful heart, but you do.

“Why not?”

“I kind of do not want to get a hole glared into my head the entire night.”

“Oh, okay. We’re still on for España right?” You smile at her through the screen.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world” 

“Bye”

“Au revoir”

Over at the venue, the party is in full swing and people are dropping in like flies to a light. Alessia’s attention is on the door, waiting for your lanky form to stumble in. She perks up when Ona walks in but she quickly goes back to sulking when she notices that you aren’t behind the small fullback. 

Throughout the entire event her eyes flicker towards the door, just willing you to walk through them with that stupid crooked smile on your face. Much to her chagrin, that doesn’t happen. She even resorts to asking your closest friends about your whereabouts, but all she gets is a mean glare in return.

Back in your apartment, you’re watching videos of the ‘96 Bulls championship games, something you’d picked up from your father. When either of you needed comforting, you’d watch the old tapes on the box tv in your basement.

Throwing the tennis ball up into the air before catching it and repeating the process all to help you think more clearly, you suddenly get to the point in the video you’d been waiting for.

“Y/l/n takes the buzzerbeater to complete the three-peat in a sweep. The ball is soaring towards the net, aaaaaaaand she misses to give the sonics the win in game 4.” You narrate as you throw the ball towards the plastic ring on your wall, missing the target slightly as you groan. The familiar feeling of a bad idea runs through your body, and you follow it without a second thought, your body on autopilot.

Pulling on your shoes, you sprint out of the apartment building, this time definitively forgetting to lock the door. But that doesn’t matter, not when you have a girl to get. You sprint all the way there, taking multiple wrong turns before finally arriving at the venue.

All while you had been running to get there in time, Alessia had started to prepare to leave, even going as far as to tell Ella that she was going home. Luckily enough for you, Ella manages to get Alessia to agree to stay until midnight.

But as the clock nears the little 12 at the top and you still haven’t shown up, Alessia decides to call it a day gathering her things and saying goodbye to Ella. She starts to make her way towards the entrance, looking down at her phone.

The doors slam open with a loud BANG, and like she had wished the entire night you enter through the opening. People turn back to their conversations as they notice that it wasn’t anything dangerous, just a lovesick girl.

Your frantic eyes search for the blonde head of hair that you’ve come to recognise, and you move towards her as soon as your eyes meet. Alessia turns on her heel, moving back into the party but you’re faster than her catching up easily and taking hold of her arm.

“Alessia, wait!” Your grip holds her in place as she turns towards you. “Listen, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and the thing is, I love you” Out of all the things Alessia expected to come out of your mouth, those were not on her list. She thought you would berate her, tell her you’re sorry or maybe even tell her you were going, but not that. All she can say is a confused:

“What?”

“I love you”

“How do you expect me to respond to that?” She asks you.

“Well, how about you love me too?” You respond with a question of your own.

“How about ‘I’m leaving’?” She asks the last question as she turns back around to walk away from you only to stop when you exclaim:

“Doesn’t what I said mean anything to you?” Your voice conveys the desperateness you’re feeling as she’s walking away from you, not knowing what else to say to get her to come back to you.

She walks back over to you, her voice a bit quieter than before.

“I’m sorry Y/n. I know you’re feeling lonely, but you can’t just show up here, tell me you love me and expect everything to be alright. It doesn’t work that way, it just doesn’t” By now the desperation has seeped into your facial features.

“Well how does it work then?” You question her.

“I don’t know, but not this way” She lets out.

“How about this way? I love the way your nose scrunches when you laugh. I love how you’re so bright. I love how you’re always blaming me for stuff I had nothing to do with. I love how you wear my shirts and how the sleeves are always too long. I love the smell of your perfume and how it sticks to my clothes. I love the way you laugh at my dumb jokes. And it’s not because I’m lonely or because you’re leaving that I came here this evening. I came here because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible!” By now the blonde girl has moved closer to you. So close in fact that you can see every spot and freckle spread across her face.

“I hate you. You know that is just like you Y/n, you say things like that and you make it impossible for me to hate you but I do.”  

Her actions contest her words as she moves closer to you, her soft lips brushing against yours as she slides her arms around your neck, yours settling around her waist. You don’t wait another second before pressing your lips together firmly. The kiss isn’t like the ones you had shared before, it wasn’t rushed or quick, instead slow and patient testing the waters. It tells a story of two lost souls finding their way back to each other through the hardships of life. It’s an apology, a confession but most importantly, it’s a promise. A promise never to hurt each other the way you had ever again.

“Wow…that was fucking amazing” Are the only words able to come out of your mouth after you’ve pulled away, and Alessia laughs slightly pulling you into another kiss before telling you:

“You’re a dork, you know”

this is based on when harry met sally (1989)

[recurring-polynya]

Okay, I am back, and by back, I mean 'ready to recap more of 2005 Bleach OAV The Sealed Sword Frenzy. (Part 1 is here)

When I left off, Renji was on the ground with a knife sticking out of him, and Ichigo was about to face down the baddie. His name is Baishin. I never gave you a picture of him, but here he is:

Kinda DILFy. Covered in knives.

Ichigo tries to fight him, and even though Number One is playing, it doesn't go too good. Baishin stops Zangetsu with one bare hand and then steps on Ichigo and grunts "I am a knife", which he also said earlier when he set all those shinigami on fire, so I think that might be important.

Here's another one for my collection of "Rukia and Renji try to attack someone in synch and get trashed for their trouble":

At first, I was wondering if Renji had Zabimaru again, but no, that's just the shotgun. Maybe Renji was gonna hit him with it? Maybe he forgot and thought it was Zabimaru for a second there, too? Maybe the shotgun is Zabimaru's gigai? This is going nowhere good. Let's move on.

[9:07] At this point, I don't know what I expected, but it was not Captain Hitsugaya to make a fucking sweet entrance, and yet that is exactly what happens.

Baishin dodges his first attack and decides to nope out through some sort of smoky portal, summoning a bunch of Hollows as he goes. Hitsugaya suggests they all get out of there, as well.

Hitsugaya somehow always shows up in these things and sighs deeply and gets his ass kicked a bunch, but I gotta admit, he comes of looking pretty cool in Sealed Sword Frenzy! Maybe it's because he left Matsumoto at home?

[10:37] What kind of Bleach ancillary media would this be if we didn't go the Urahara Shouten for some exposition?

Hitsugaya gives us this beautiful explanation over lovingly desaturated flashback-vision.

Who the hell are these randos???

Hitsugaya what

Okay okay, I joke, but this is Grade A, secret-act-that-was-never-recorded, Gotei-13 bullshit, which, as you all know, is my favorite thing in the entire world. We've got five captains here, none of whom we've ever seen before (although that one guy looks kinda like if Captain Amagai and Ashidou, Rukia's Forest-of-Menos hookup had a baby). Two of them died, plus a whole mess of vice-captains. They just sealed a dude in a mountain in the Living World and left him there. The head captain is nowhere to be seen. This is literally on the order of the Hollowification event, but everyone probably forgot it until ten minutes ago when Hitsugaya had to look it up on the Gotei-wiki. This is some lore. This is some stakes. This is the standard by which every filler arc and movie should be judged.

Anyway, the temple from the beginning was there to keep him sealed, which obvs didn't work. Now they are on a special mission to re-seal Baishin or kill him. At this point, Rukia notes, "That explains why even Hanatarou was called out," to which I say, no, Rukia, it does not.

[11:59] The other thing that's obligatory in Bleach ancillary media is Ichigo and Renji being gay for each other, so now it's time for that.

They start arguing as an excuse to put their faces really, really close together, but Hitsugaya yells at them before they can start making out. Spoilsport. He reminds them that the town is being attacked by Hollows as they speak (oh....yeah...) and then it's revealed that Ichigo doesn't actually know who Hitsugaya is.

This is so delightful to me because it's correct, actually? Ichigo probably saw Hitsugaya in passing once or twice at the end of the Soul Society arc and got told his name and promptly forgot it. He calls Hitsugaya "little one" and Rukia and Renji yell at him for it, but if I were Ichigo, I would be more like "hey, I think we need to have a talk about child labor practices in Soul Society." (To which Rukia and Renji would likely respond "a) he's older than us and b) we were child soldiers and turned out fine" and then if I were Ichigo I would never listen to them again)

[14:04] Apropos of nothing, a senkaimon opens, and these goons step out, one at a time, like they're doing a celebrity guest star reveal. They admit that they brought Zaraki, too, and have somehow already managed to lose him.

I hope they've already planned which two of them they're gonna sacrifice to put Baishin back in the mountain (Soi Fon and Hitsugaya, or possibly Zaraki is my guess). Why is Yoruichi even here??? She doesn't even work for the Gotei anymore!! Or is she a 1099 now, and gets paid triple the civil servant rate? That would honestly explain a lot, actually.

I am now halfway through this thing, but I am pretty sure I can get through the rest in one post (and then one more for the ED), so I'm gonna call it here.

Update: Here's Part 3

[whatswrongwithblue]

The Fire in the Sin

Bonus Chapter 1 - The Library

Word count: 3,133 Read on AO3. Series Masterlist. <- Please read first, this is bonus content for a long fic and will not make sense as a stand alone one shot.

Summary: I couldn't make this chapter fit with the flow of the story for season 1, but I still really wanted to write it out. Just for fun. So here is some of Alastor's perspective earlier on in the plot line and some fun library smut. For reference, this is a PRESENT DAY chapter and takes place AFTER Mina and Alastor begin sharing a room again but BEFORE Mina founds out about him selling his soul. So it's early on in the plot when they are "back together" but going through a rough patch still.

Bonus Chapter 1 - The Library

Despite how rough the first couple weeks of Alastor’s return had been, things had been steadily improving between him and Mina for a multitude of reasons.

He had agreed that it was best they share a room and had used his magic to combine their separate quarters into two. In hindsight, he should have never chosen a separate room to begin with. Mina had been in such a state of emotional turmoil when he had first arrived at the hotel and he had misread her anger and her tears, thinking she wanted some space from him. Now he could see that had only hurt her more. It had cemented the idea in her mind that his absence of seven years had been far easier for him than it had for her and that just wouldn’t do.

If he couldn’t tell her what had happened, he had to be better at showing her how happy he was to be back. And most importantly, he had to stop getting so defensive when she got angry with him. Every time something reminded Mina of what had happened, she became damn near unbearable to be around. She’d snap at him, insult him, push him away, and purposefully try to wound him. And the worst part was that it worked.

Since he’d laid eyes on her, all Alastor wanted was to have her back, to have her shower him with the same amount of trust and affection that she once did. After seven years of being gone, of having his sheer lack of freedom and willpower shoved in his face day after day, having the love of his life blame him for it was too much. She was the only person capable of hurting him that way, of getting under his skin and past every single one of his defenses, and hurt his feelings.

It was preposterous and degrading and humiliating. And he owed it to her. So he was trying to suck it up and stop getting angry in return. If it became too much to bare, he’d just excuse himself and give her space until she cooled off enough to accept some form of affection from him.

That was a pattern that seemed to work and he clung to it, using it regularly to keep them both happy as they continued to heal the wounds of their marriage.

But the thing that seemed to really make Mina the happiest and most docile was the sex. And as much as Alastor had ignored the teasing and debased comments from some of the other hotel residents, it had been a rather long and lonely dry spell for him as well.

Before Mina, he’d never held sex in high regard. It was awkward, and messy, and required getting far too close to people for his comfort. But with her, it was lovely. He didn’t crave it quite as much as she did but from a purely logical standpoint, he could see the benefits of it. It was an easy way to shower her with affection, to focus his attention solely on her, to let her see and feel the affect that only she had on him. And from a much more emotional, intimate point of view . . . he had really, really missed his wife. Seven God damned years was too long to go without the touch of the person you love. And now that they had recovered that aspect of their relationship, Alastor couldn’t get enough of her.

That first night, after realizing she had been shot and he hadn’t even known it until well after the fact, was like a dam breaking. Every last wall he had put up around his defenses when it came to her was shattered. How he had managed to not scoop her up and carry her off to the nearest horizontal surface that very first day of his return was beyond him at this point. He had kept himself so closed off from her, and for what? To save himself from having to face how much he had hurt her? It was cowardly. And he had only hurt them both more by doing so.

These were all the thoughts racing through his brain as he left the kitchen that morning, leaving Mina and Niffty to their task of preparing lunch. He reminded himself again and again that this was only temporary. That Mina’s anger was justified and it would fade. If he just held out a little longer, everything would work itself out.

____

Earlier that day . . .

“Ah, there you two are. We missed you at breakfast this morning,” Alastor said as he found the two women working together in the large industrial kitchen of the hotel.

Niffty was adding seasonings to something that smelled wonderful in an oversized slow cooker and Mina was chopping vegetables. The two women were a delightful sight for sore eyes and after the morning he had had, Alastor was glad to see them doing something he was happy to join in on. He loved cooking. It was one of the few innocent hobbies he still held dear to his heart, but he didn’t miss the look Niffty and Mina shared when he walked over to them.

“And where did you two run off to this morning?” he asked.

“Just to Rosie’s to pick up some meat,” Mina answered.

Niffty gave a little giggle. “Don’t tell Charlie where we got it. She still doesn’t trust us after the thing with the heart.”

The two women shared a smile and rolled their eyes, remembering something that must have happened before Alastor joined the hotel.

“Rosie’s?” Alastor asked, fighting the feeling of being left out. “I haven’t seen her since the meeting.”

Mina stiffened, clearly reading between the lines and quickly getting defensive.

“It was just a quick errand.”

“If it was just a quick errand, why didn’t you say something before taking off?” Alastor said, hearing the annoyance in his own voice growing with every word. “I thought we agreed- ”

“Couldn’t find ya, now could we?” Mina snapped, letting her knife hit the kitchen counter with a loud smack. “That’s what happens when a woman wakes up alone almost every damn mornin’. Do I have to waste time tracking you down, bright an’ early, just to tell ya I’m going grocery shopping?!”

Niffty looked nervously between the two of them.

“We go every Wednesday. You can come next week, if you want,” Niffty offered.

“Every Wednesday? Since when?” he asked.

Mina huffed again.

“Just a thing we started doing together in the last few years.” She’d stopped yelling, but her tone was cold and she’d turned her back to him, resuming her task with the vegetables.

“I see,” Alastor said simply, catching the meaning behind her words. It was something that she and Niffty had started doing, in his absence. Maybe even as a coping mechanism. He’d hurt them both when he’d gone, after all.

“Next Wednesday it is, then.” He looked at Niffty, who returned his smile, before turning to Mina. He’d been making an effort of being more casually affectionate with her since his return, so he pressed a quick kiss to her hair, grateful that she didn’t pull away or shrug him off. “I’ll leave you two ladies to it.”

____

He found her later on in the library, curled up on the little sofa in there, a singular sunbeam from the window gracing her body with its warmth.

It had taken some time for him to track her down after lunch and he eventually had to resort to having his shadow help him find her. He had marched in here, ready for a proper argument, to remind her that disappearing just out of spite was childish and unnecessarily cruel, when he’d found her dead asleep.

His shoulders slumped as all his anger melted away.

She was positively cute like this.

Mina had taken off her knitted sweater and folded it up as a makeshift pillow and toed off her shoes before she had laid down, and had obviously fallen asleep reading a book. Alastor’s eyes lingered on her, adoring the rich brown skin of her pointed limbs, the leopard spots that danced across her pale shoulders with every slow intake of her breath, the way her slender tail wrapped itself around her hips, and the subtle way her feline ears twitched as she dreamed.

He decided then and there he would spend the rest of the afternoon by her side and slipped into shadow, the blackness melting across the floor, before following the body of the sofa upwards and solidifying himself sitting upright so that Mina’s head rested in his lap.

She shifted a fraction, barely disturbed by the change, and still deeply asleep, began to purr.

Picking up the book she had dropped, he read the synopsis and learned that it took place in New Orleans. His smile softened even more as he turned the cover back over and read the title. Out of the Easy.

For all her cold stubbornness towards him, it was times like these that he knew it was just a reflex against the pain of losing him. Mina still loved him, still sought after little ways - like this book - to remind herself of him, even when she was angry.

Alastor was a few chapters in when she finally woke. He’d been absentmindedly rubbing her ears and running his fingers through her hair, absorbed in the book. She shifted onto her back, keeping her head resting on his leg, as she blinked up at him.

“I have to say, this is a remarkably accurate description of the French Quarter,” Alastor started, as if they were already in the middle of a conversation. “Obviously I died well before the 1950’s, but it seems well researched. This Josie girl is terribly naïve though, reminds me of our Charlie.”

“Since when do you read Young Adult fiction?” she asked, her voice light and teasing.

“Well I can’t say no to a story set in my home town.” He raised an eyebrow as he looked down at her. “And it seems you can’t, either.”

“Oh, shut up.”

She sat up, reaching for the book, but he held it high above his head.

“Alastor!” she said with a laugh, sitting up on her knees to reach higher up but he used his long arms to hold it behind the couch and well out of her reach. “Give it back!”

“Ah ah ah,” he said with a shit eating grin. “You didn’t say the magic word.”

Mina grabbed his face with both her hands and pulled him into a hard kiss.

Alastor’s eyes went wide and he felt his ears stand straighter but only out of sheer surprise. He quickly relaxed and returned the kiss, dropping the book behind the couch and pulling her against him.

The book, the open door behind them, and the tension of the morning were all quickly forgotten as the kiss heated up. He parted his lips and she took the invitation, letting her tongue dance across his, her sharp teeth pressing down for the occasional teasing nip, but never fully biting.

After several minutes of what had become a properly indecent make-out session, Mina pulled away, panting for air.

“You know,” Alastor said, as equally out of breath as she was, “you could have just said ‘please.’ But I suppose that was an adequate substitution.”

She was still in his lap and looking far too good to halt their activities, so Alastor leaned towards her and began sucking on her neck.

Mina tried to talk to him, all the while he left wet, open mouth kisses along her throat.

“I’m sorry . . . a-about earlier. I know you’re . . . trying. I am too, I just . . . Al’ . . . love . . . Alastor!”

“Hmmm?”

He pulled away, raising his eyebrows innocently at her.

“What are you doing?”

“Enjoying myself,” he answered before pulling down a strap of her dress and continuing his parade of kisses down her shoulder.

“I’m trying to apologize here,” she sighed but then moaned a little when he suddenly turned his head and nipped the back of her jawline, his teeth gentle and merely suggesting what they could really do to her flesh if she let him. “And you’re acting insane.”

“You want insane?” He took her hand and she let him guide her to the tent at the seam of his pants. “Insane is how much I want you right now.”

“Alastor,” she breathed his name and blushed, but she palmed his erection despite the hesitation in her expression. “Anyone could walk in here.”

Without even having to snap his fingers, he made the door to the room swing shut.

“It doesn’t lock,” she protested and he rolled his eyes before letting his hands wander up her legs and underneath her skirt.

“No one but us ever comes in here anyway. And you’re already so wet.”

She was. His fingers had found her clothed sex and the fabric of her panties were soaked. He stroked her long and slow, teasing her until her arousal was undeniable. He could feel it in the dampness on his fingertips, see it in the flush across her neck and chest, and hear it in the way her breath hitched when he pressed into her core just a little harder than before.

“Go ahead, tell me to stop. But if you don’t, I’ll take you right here on this couch.”

“Oh you smug bastard – oh . . .” she whimpered as he pulled her panties to the side and slid two fingers into her, pumping and stroking just beyond her entrance. No where near filling her up but enough to hit the most sensitive parts of her.

“You started it,” he said with a laugh. “And you know what they say. You should never start something you don’t intend to finish.”

“You are lucky,” she said, shifting her weight so she could undo his buckle and pants and free his erection from the constricting garments. “You are lucky I love you, because you truly are insane.”

He ripped her panties in two as she moved to straddle him, sliding down on his cock with an amount of ease and grace that could only come from two bodies knowing each other as well as theirs did.

“Believe me, Mina, I know,” he said, his voice breaking with static as he grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her forehead down to his. “I know just how lucky I am.”

She might have been hesitant at first but once she had him fully sheathed within her, she eagerly began rocking her hips.

This was so far beyond what he knew she would ever expect of him and Alastor could see the thrill of it in her eyes, the excitement of something new after all this time turning her on as much as his touch had.

Sure, they had done some rather debauched things to each other in the past, especially when she was in heat or he was in rut. And there was that time in Kassandra’s church . . .

But this was different. Despite their notoriety in Hell, both he and Mina were incredibly private people. And she hadn’t been wrong, anyone could walk in on them at any second. The door wasn’t locked and this library was in the same hallway as Angel and Niffty’s rooms; both of whom would come knocking if they heard anything worth investigating.

Like the moan Mina had just let out.

“Ssshhh,” Alastor whispered to her, bringing a hand up to her throat and squeezing. “Unless you want someone to find us like this.”

She shook her head, her cheeks blooming with the most beautiful red blush as he restricted the blood flow of her neck. He loosened his grip once he was sure she would stay quiet and she leaned forward, capturing his lips into another passionate kiss. 

He groped at her breast still covered by her dress, feeling it bounce in his palm with every rock of Mina’s hips against his. Pulling away from her mouth, his teeth latched onto the upper swell of her cleavage, leaving a red and purple mark surrounded by a halo of shallow indents. She whimpered, so quietly he could hardly hear her, as she ran her fingers through his hair, holding his face to her chest.

It was like she was cradling him, holding him to her as she stroked his ears and nuzzled her face against the base of his antlers, all the while never losing her rhythm as she rode him, bouncing on his cock with such perfection that all too soon, Alastor felt his end drawing near.

She came just seconds before he did and with little warning, given how quiet he had forced her to be. But he recognized the tension in her back and the way her hips moved in shorter, quicker thrusts. And when her inner walls clenched around his cock, he found his own release, emptying his seed inside her depths as she came down from her own high, still slowly pumping herself on him until she was sure they were both spent.

They stayed like that, still kissing and holding each other, for several moments longer; well after he had softened inside of her.

She hummed as his lips found her neck again and she returned his affection; first kissing his cheek, then his forehead, and his mouth for one last kiss before she pulled away with finality, though she still kept her arms around him.

“Will you take me to our bedroom now?”

“You want more? In the middle of the day?” he asked.

“No,” she laughed. “But that’s funny, coming from the guy who just insisted on an afternoon lay. No, I just think I deserve the privacy of my own room to clean up after riding you that good.”

“You do, indeed. Can’t have my own wife doing something as indecent as a walk of shame.”

“I would never find making love to you to be shameful,” she said sweetly but then wrinkled her nose. “But I don’t fancy the idea of cum running down my legs as I get to where I’m going. You shredded my knickers, remember?”

“Oh these?” he asked, lifting up the remains of her panties and then stuffing them in an inner pocket of his jacket, before lowering his voice suggestively. “I wasn’t planning on giving them back, anyway.”

He dissolved them into shadow before her smart mouth had a chance to come up with what he knew would be an absurdly bratty reply.

@saccharine-nectarine @whoknowswhoiamtoday @redvexillum @visara-valentina @reath-solia

[heliza24]

Ep 5, rage, and time

This was a FASCINATING episode. We’ve got a lot more questions than answers right now— about exactly the nature of Fig’s curse (we know it hopped to her from Gilear, but how does the armor of pride play into it), the exact nature of what happened to Cassandra, and what kind of big bad god (???) was talking to Kristen after the fight— so I don’t have a snappy thesis about this week’s ep. But I have some themes buzzing around my head like persistent flies. So let’s talk about them.

I saw someone earlier point out that rage and anger seems to be a dominant theme of the season, after Kristen got advantage for leaning into anger at her parents, and I think we know for sure now that that’s true. I refreshed myself on what happened to Lydia— she sealed a dangerous demon inside a soul gem and embedded it in herself to keep the demon from escaping. She was in a permanent rage to keep herself alive, and the impact of that disabled her. As a disabled fan I have always loved this rep, because the gem functions like a chronic illness, and I personally have used anger at the medical system and the ableist world to survive being chronically ill. (She also refused to have the gem removed and risk releasing the demon, which is a great refutation of the magical cure trope). Anger is a dirty fuel though, and if you burn too much of it you’ll end up burning yourself, and compromising your own mental health, in the process.

That reminds me of the kind of things we were circling from the beginning of the season— burnout, exhaustion, being past where you can fight. And if people heap enough stress on you (from schoolwork or otherwise) a kind of natural response to that is to break into rage at some point.

I don’t exactly understand the mechanisms of the star bursts that originated within Cassandra and then made her monstrous. Were parts of her anger embedded in them like the demon was in Lydia’s soul gem, and then when they re-entered her they turned that rage into something uncontrollable? Why did they affect Kalina that way and why did she mention Ragh’s name? I’m really not sure, although I do hope that this means that Lydia will play a larger role this season and we’ll see more of her and her cool wheelchair soon.

The other things that’s bouncing around my head is the theme of time (a recurring Elmville theme; chronomancy is the greatest magic of all after all). I think this season is concerned with time, and what it means to run out of time, even more than freshman and sophomore year. We have Arthur and Ayda traveling through time and the quadrangle situation. Now we have the Synod clock and a verifiable time loop (side note: I did ABSOLUTELY burst out laughing when Brennan exasperatedly said “anyone can roll arcana to understand time loops” when the PCs were confused, like GOD haven’t you all seen this in a million science fiction stories by now??? A deeply relatable moment when the players aren’t picking up the lore you’re putting down). But maybe more importantly, we’re seeing the consequences of not having enough time this season, or maybe what happens when the clock keeps running after the adventure is supposed to be over. No one has enough time to do all the assignments on their plate. Everyone missed out on fun, school planning, and relationship stuff over the summer because they had to be fighting the night yorb and didn’t have enough time to go home. (Also, side note, the night yorb turned everything to night therefore eliminating a way we have to tell time. No more days, just one long bleed of an adventure). And everything we’re doing right now feels like we’ve somehow hit the end of time and then kept going— Cassandra was never supposed to turn back into something akin to the nightmare king again. Kalina was never supposed to come back in the same form and taunt Riz again. The whole thing feels like a lesser, diminished time loop. Even the main high school antagonists, the rat grinders, are like a weird version of the bad kids who are stuck just looping over and over again, grinding out xp and repeating themselves infinitely.

I don’t really know how these two themes are going to hook together yet exactly, but I have a feeling they’re going to. Whoever was on the phone with Kristen feels like a hook for underlying plot, if not an outright big bad, which I honestly wasn’t sure we would get at all this season. So I’m gonna be so interested to see how these themes coalesce as the season goes on.

PS- I think The Seven is also extremely concerned with time (especially that sequence in the penultimate episode, which is my favorite in all of D20 I think. No spoilers if you haven’t seen it, but it is truly transcendent), and especially what it means to grow and change. I love that this theme keeps popping up in Elmville- it’s such a lovely frame for the kind of coming of age stories that get told there.

[mysteroads]

After re-reading chpt 426, I had... emotions. 🥺 So, even though I posted the full fic here earlier, I thought everyone else might like to see Dabi finding peace at last. Like all the other League in this series, this excerpt is when Shig comes to pick up his party member. As a bonus, it can be read in a way that complies with the current canon circumstances. (As a double bonus, there's a cute moment with Shoto💕.) Without further ado: Dabi rejoins the League:

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Dabi,” his name brought his wandering focus back to Shigaraki, “We already know you’re an asshole. You don’t have to try and talk me out of bringing you back.” He leaned closer and met Dabi’s eyes, bloody red to clouded crystal. “I see you, Dabi. We see you, Dabi. We’ve always seen you. We want you anyway. Magne, Jin, Toga, Spinner, Kurogiri… they’re all waiting for you.”

Those words hit him like a punch to the gut, wringing out a soft sound of pure longing that he didn’t know he was capable of making. 

Arms— hot and cold, slim and thick, both of them ghostly— wrapped around him. He suspected them of trying to comfort him, but he didn’t need comfort. Shigaraki wanted him. The League wanted him. They didn’t care that he wasn’t perfect, that he had been born to be a failure, that he was a broken, twisted caricature of a human being. Knowing he was wanted despite all that… it healed a wound in his soul that had been bleeding as long as he could remember, and suddenly it didn’t matter that Endeavor was still alive.

The League wanted him. They were waiting for him.

And he was tired. 

So very, very tired.

Even so, he mustered up the strength for one last bit of snark. “So… you… expect me to… just, what? … Waltz into Hell… with you?”

Shigaraki raised his eyebrows. “You could stay, if you'd rather.” His eyes flicked to the blurry people around Dabi, lingering on the ones who seemed to be embracing him. “Your family would prefer that, I think. They seem really upset. It’s your choice, though. It’s always been your choice, Dabi. We'll still be waiting if you want to stay for a little while longer.”

Dabi considered for less than a second. “Let’s go, Duster.” He’d been toying with that nickname for months, now seemed like the perfect time to use it. Judging by the pleased light in Tomura’s eyes, he was right.

Grinning, Tomura held out his hand.

Dabi felt something shift inside him, the pain and numbness retreating, replaced by a kind of pleasant, tingling feeling. But when he tried to reach out for Tomura’s hand, he could barely raise his arm an inch. He tried again, and still couldn’t. Sudden frustration and anguish made his already dry eyes sting.

“I can’t reach you! Tomura! Fuck!” Why couldn’t he do this? Just this one, last, final thing?! Why was it so hard to reach the things he wanted the most? “I… I c-can’t…”

Then his arm was being lifted, supported gently by someone else. 

Surprised, he looked in the direction of the red and white blur that held his damaged arm so tenderly. The blur wavered and came into sudden, sharp focus. It was Shoto. Shoto, his youngest brother, his father’s perfect masterpiece, the kid he barely knew but had tried his best to kill… and Shoto was crying. Crying so hard he had snot coming out his nose and his pretty porcelain skin was all blotchy. The sight made Dabi chuckle, even as it reminded him of Toga’s sad eyes. 

“Hey, little hero, don’t cry,” he said, and found that speaking didn’t hurt. He sounded like his old self too, the words clear and firm. Still raspy, but that was just the way he talked. “`S like I told Himiko. It doesn't matter whether we laugh or cry, the sun’ll still rise tomorrow... so you should choose to smile, baby brother.” Shoto’s lips wobbled as he tried to obey. Dabi smiled back and thought it probably looked like a nightmare, but for once, he felt genuinely happy and didn’t hold himself back. “That’s better.” 

Dabi was distracted from any reply his brother might’ve made as a cool, dry hand wrapped around his, and pulled him to his feet.

~*~*~*~

please reblog if you enjoyed! thank you for reading!

[fictionfolk-safehaven]

CW: abuse, SA from a young age, depression, incest, intrusive thoughts. Long post, a bit of a doozy lol

Hi! we think this blog is rlly cool and it actually helped us a lot. like really thanks. We in general have a lot of intrustive thoughts but particularly ones about incest/minors hit us the worst, basically cuz our brain is just reminding us of trauma that actually happened to us. And it causes a lot of shame and self-hate, and even guilt. My name is Kaoru Hitachiin, from Ouran Highschool Host Club. Both my brother and I are in the system. In our source we are literally the "brotherly love duo" and in our system we are in a relationship. To give context.

We've existed since middle school, dormant I guess but showed up recently thanks to us seeing these posts and trying to understand people's perspectives better, because everyone deserves to feel understood. This caused us to reframe how we view incest on a more compassionate level. Like y'know it's not good, I'd perfer if people didn't have to go through whatever it was that made their brain develop that way but it's also not their fault. System wise, my brother and I would not have been able to exist prior to this understanding. Like, we literally would've crumbled with the inner shame and maybe even outside critic of other systems members, no matter how nice they all are. I know in their heart they'd be freaking out about it, and it'd make our intrusive thoughts worse.

It's not like it was easy for us either, Particularly Hikaru.

We got exomemories that aren't even from source. Memories of our uncle, SA, from 5 years old to Middle school. Often together. Everyone in the family knew, no one cared.

We thought we didn't need anyone else, no one else was to be trusted. He took care of me, I took care of him. We survived because each other. This was hard for me, I developed feelings for him since childhood, he only realized his feelings until a little bit after haruhi showed up in the show. and in real life this was something he knew but we had to work through immediately first day of hosting because of the stress is was giving us. Our "Brotherly love act" was supposed to just be that, and act. We thought it was funny and entertaining to make the girls swoon, we are performers after all. All the while my souls constantly being crushed like a garbage disposal, but I'm used to that by now, years and years of practice. And they made us like that in the show, so you really can't blame me for feeling these feelings , right?

Anyways, things are better now. We are happy, we've accepted that our happiness doesn't need to make sense for others, and that it's more valuable for us to do that than to desire for acceptance. Thanks guys for providing a space like this. Don't know if we would've showed up for a very long time without it.

I wrote a poem earlier, about this, and wanted to share in case anyone else resonated with it, as this is (my) first poem and I like it! It felt good to make, if ur reading this u should make a poem soon (that includes u, person scrolling) if u want

Old Memories Melt- Kaoru Hitachiin

But that was the past, and this is the now

In your arms I crave and your passions endowed

Your heart beats quicker than the rabbit I found

Dove into a rabbit hole so deep and profound

I've been falling since a child

Drank the potion and now it's time for cake

Growing up is hard

When they've wrecked up your mental state

Pillaged our safest space

That is, Each Other

Thoughts began to spiral in fear of being outnumbered

Or of you, finding another

Leaving me Alone In the wreckage of the past without a word of Our present

Each smile and wink you give *Is* a Present

Wrapped in barbed wire- but I must open

Pandora's box

I must feel these feelings

Although it's Paradox

To love your brother

Ties the deepest knot

In my gut and my heart

So tell me it's wrong

Go ahead! If it weren't for him-

I'd be dead..

-🌛💐🌀

We're a bit exhausted this week (/lighthearted) so I can't put it into words as well as I'd like, but tbh I'm not sure if I'd be able to anyway. I genuinely can't express how much it means to us that this blog helped anyone to the point of like... headmates leaving dormancy because they're allowed to exist safely???? that's just. Genuinely unfathomable to me. I'm so glad that there's less shame within your system, and we're so honored to have played any part in that from our little corner of the internet.

We also have intrusive thoughts, and know from experience that trying to shame yourselves less for those thoughts and such can be so difficult. So points to you all for handling that.

-Archivist Phil

[revalition]

HELLO!!! congrats on finishing the intellect skills!!! :D!! this ask is your free pass to share any INT quotes you didn't get to share this week >:3!!! i would LOVE to read all of your cool quotes!!! <33 (if you have more than can fit in this ask i CAN AND WILL SEND YOU ANOTHER if you want me to!! hkjg <333)

hello voli!! ooh... I like this. You also get my not-asked-for comments on them, yay!

fair warning that most of these are probably 'less good' quotes since i had to pick and choose the ones I liked best to put in the posts. but. anyway.

making a cut here because it's gonna be loooong

lots of Logic ones! he has the most passives of all the skills so...

hehe logic won't let you mess up some important stuff!

this second one, Kim will stop you. And if Kim's not there, Reaction Speed will stop you (easy). And if RS doesn't fire, Logic stops you haha.

he gets so excited! very rarely!

go go logic deny it!

big one, but I love when so many talk at once. yeah logic, why didnt you think of it?? hmm??

as always, it's you who's dumb! never ever logic

it's endlessly funny to me when the skills ask the others to contribute and then they just... dont show up.

good question...

This one is SO funny. Logic. ily. this is also a Medium check!! I completely missed this one when searching through earlier. I wish fayde could just bomb my computer with all the logic dialogue so I could sift through 80 pages of it, instead of limiting it to 100 results :(

(this shows up if the query is too big - Sorry, all the words from your query were filtered out. Please use less common words, and ones which are longer than 1 letter (partial and mid-word matches count, you see, so searching 'd' would return everything with a 'd' in it, and that's like 53,000 records, you won't want to read all that!) and, like... no, no, you are severely underestimating me. I actually do want to read all that, desperately)

anyway.

Logic passive fails my beloved

is he not creative enough to make something up?? echem, drama, and inland come up with times for him

hghhk the great serotonin jackpot. I'm super normal about electrochemistry. who is NOT an int skill and will have to wait. logic's comment heals your morale!!

ah yes, very normal things for a joyrider to have in their car. ty logic!

his love of jigsaw puzzlessss

what could go wrong??

related:

this is a different check! but thank goodness for these guys and their stupidly brilliant ideas. saved the day in my 1 INT run.

wow! sarcastic logic my beloved. one second before empathy throws moralism at you

mmm, this one isn't super logic focused, but you can't get this dialogue without passing the challenging Logic passive... and it's really interesting.

this is about to get really rambly but I read a story once about if when you die, your soul travels to a timeline where the flow of events was different and you didn't die. But as your life progresses, avoiding death becomes less and less likely... (eg, avoiding death by getting hit by a bus would take you to a very similar timeline. But avoiding death from old age...) and by the end, the world was unrecognizable. It was a bit sad... I wish I could remember what it was called.

This dialogue reminded me of it. Of the improbable futures. A world where you hit that 3% chance on the dice over and over and it slowly changes everything.

anyway!!

if you didn't deduce that the 2mm hole in the world is a baby pale, a Legendary Logic passive can deduce that it's really off that your radio is catching entroponetic crosstalk all the way in Martinaise.

If you deduce the pale in the church, Soona comments that the recording in the electronic doorbell is likely crosstalk, and Kim makes a comment about often getting crosstalk on the police radio as well.

But it doesn't seem like anyone else has come to the same conclusion...

Harry knows a lot more about the pale than he should.

The final rest state for reality.

hustler logic!!

Logic... come on man. this is not helping. The whole dream is so horrible. He's so nonchalant about it too.

Look at this! The variable is called volition tea... Conceptualization imagining the yummy ginger tea for you is so sweet

I love this. Poor Kim...

Thank you Conceptualization. We would be lost without you.

:(((

poor harry

KIM don't take away concy's poetic name!! >:(

I love these twooo.

and that's apparently 30... uhm. I got extra logic and conceptualization ones in at least..?

you can feel free to send another ask if you actually want even more haha

I was supposed to spend tonight assembling volition quotes!!! and then I somehow got sidetracked on this for (checks clock...) 2 hours. oops. but it's okay cause I picked up lots of other great quotes to shove into my giant doc!

ok :) that's it. thank you for the ask!!! hopefully you don't regret asking (though if you do... you should have known better lol)

[steddiealltheway]

WIP Wednesday

pretend this isn't the fourth thing i've posted in the past like... two hours

but this is so cool! Thank you @zerokrox-blog for tagging me!

So this is a Soulmate AU that has been in my head for YEARS, and I've finally started writing it down so... here's the first chapter or maybe only part of it? I'm not sure yet. But here it is :)

A few weeks earlier… 

Steve sprints to the window, unlatching it easily and jumping through just to tuck and roll onto the soft carpet of Robin’s bedroom. 

“What the-” Robin starts to yell until she catches sight of Steve who holds a finger to his lips. He signals for her to close the windows and curtains quickly while he lays on the ground wiping the rain water mixed with blood out of his eyes. 

Robin quietly freaks out as she locks the window and pulls the curtain tight. She flicks on a lamp then digs under her bed for a first aid kit that makes Steve want to squirm away, but he can’t deny the need for some type of treatment for his wounds. As she’s carefully putting bandaids on what he assumes to be a large cut on his forehead, she whispers out, “What the hell happened?” 

Steve breathes out and does a quick assessment of himself. Nothing appears to be broken at the moment, but his vision is slightly swimming as the adrenaline wears off. He lets his eyes close as he leans into Robin. “Turns out I’m going to college with you after all.” 

He doesn’t have to open his eyes to know that she’s giving him a weird look, but he opens them to let her know he’s serious about this. “Robin, promise to never call me ‘Steve’ again, okay?” 

Robin freezes and lets her hand fall from where it was smoothing out a bandaid. “What?” 

“Please,” Steve pleads and looks around frantically. “Call me… call me…” his head is pounding and his stomach slightly churns, so he relies on the last thing he saw, a name too unique to belong to any soul, “Call me Keys.” 

“Okay… Keys,” Robin says testing out the name as Steve’s eyes lull shut. “Now tell me everything.” 

Now 

Moving in sucks. Well, moving Robin in sucks. Steve had told her that she didn’t need to pack her entire room, but she insisted, “Keys, I will not be returning home after my first twenty-four hours away from it! And maybe I’ll need the whistle I got in elementary school! You never know.” 

Steve just sighs and hefts up yet another box from his car, carefully glancing around for anyone familiar before heading up to Robin’s dorm. He curses the broken elevator but realizes it likely wouldn’t have been much help since everyone else is moving in at the same time. He swerves just at the last second as some hyper dude with long hair runs down the stairs past him and Robin. For some reason, he feels a weird draw to them, but they probably just remind him of Dustin who he would’ve yelled at to slow the hell down. He misses that kid. 

Steve huffs as he makes his way to the third story of the building and spots the door to Robin’s room slightly ajar. Robin shoots him a look and they rush over to it only to slow down as they approach. Steve sets down the box and riffles through it settling on grabbing a random plaque from... “Your fourth-grade spelling bee, really?” 

“It’s one of my greatest accomplishments!” Robin whisper yells at him and nudges his shoulder. 

Steve rolls his eyes but takes the plaque and holds it up. He holds up his hand signaling three... two... one... 

Steve shoves the door open and yells as a blonde girl starts to scream. Steve quickly realizes his mistake and puts the plaque down on a nearby table and holds his hands up. “Woah! Oh, shit. Sorry. You must be Robin’s roommate. I’m Steve,” he introduces himself cautiously holding his hand out. 

Only, the girl doesn’t take it. Instead, she seems frozen as she glances over Steve’s shoulder. 

Steve’s hand drops and he looks over his shoulder to see what's happening but he’s only met with the sight of Robin staring longingly at the other girl. Steve looks back at the girl and sees it. “You must be Chrissy,” Steve breathes out. 

The girl nods slightly, and happiness alongside jealousy churns in Steve’s stomach. “Well, it’s been great meeting you. And I’ll just... see myself out. Robin, we can get the rest of your stuff later. I’m just going to head to my dorm.” 

Robin slightly nods, mirroring Chrissy’s same nod from earlier, and Steve is almost positive that neither of them are getting any of what he’s saying. Damn soulmates. 

Steve heaves Robin’s box through the doorway and lightly shoves her in before closing the behind her. This is certainly not how he wanted his college experience to start. 

He rushes down the stairs and tries not to think too hard about the whole Robin finding her soulmate thing. Like, yes, it’s great. He’s glad she has the perfect roommate and a soulmate who clearly just by first looks is crazy about her. But this means... fuck. 

Steve might be abandoned. He knows it’s unlike Robin, but he’s heard the soulmate stories. Christ, they’re literally a person’s other half, so of course they’re going to want to spend all their time with them which leaves Steve... alone. Or awkwardly third wheeling, but the sight of happy couples makes him irrationally angry. 

Well, with everything, Robin says that he should be reasonably angry about the whole soulmate thing, but... 

Steve shakes his head as he climbs into his car and watches that same long-haired boy heave a box up towards the building. Eddie. A voice in his head unhelpfully supplies, and Steve shakes it away because that would be impossible. 

He forces himself to tear his eyes away and look at the campus map. Sadly, he and Robin aren’t living in the same residence hall, but the buildings should be about a five-minute walk away. He spots his building and takes a deep breath as he thinks about dealing with parking. Luckily, he only has about one trip worth of things with him. 

He finds parking and curses under his breath as he rechecks his dorm number and pockets the key they gave him a few hours earlier. He pushes around the few boxes Robin has left so he can get out his one box and old backpack. Hopefully his roommate doesn’t judge him too much. 

The trek to the building isn’t horrible from the parking lot, but Steve is definitely thankful that he lives on the first floor. 

He finds his room fairly easily and digs his key out of his pocket so he can unlock the door. He sighs when he finds it’s already unlocked and prepares to meet his roommate. He tries to appear pleasant as possible and even tightly smiles as he enters the room. Half of it is filled with weird shit like posters and drawings that Steve thinks that Dustin would like. And he’s definitely gotta ask why the hell he has a giant sign that says “Corroded Coffin.” He whistles low when he spots the guitar propped in the corner of the room. He knows nothing about instruments, but he can tell it’s well taken care of. 

The only thing that he finds odd is the lack of a roommate in the room, but maybe he’s in the bathroom or something. 

Steve doesn’t think too hard about it because he’s filled with relief of finally being alone so he can breathe. It’s not that he isn’t a social person it’s just... he needs time to process the whole Chrissy and Robin thing. More than anything he wants to rant to someone about it, but his options of ranting are: Robin. 

But there’s probably a landline in the common area and definitely pay phones nearby so he can call Dustin eventually. 

He tugs at the leather band around his right wrist for a few minutes as he thinks before realizing the anxious tick and trying to stop. He needs Robin to go back to flicking him in the head every time he does it. Soulmarks don’t like being suffocated he guesses. 

He unpacks the few things he has, stuffing the few pairs of clothes he has in the supplied dresser and slipping sheets over his mattress and making up the thin comforter (curtesy of Robin’s mom) and pillow (also Robin’s mom) to make the place look somewhat like a home. He gets a framed picture of him and Robin out of his box and puts it on his desk lastly before turning around and walking towards his door. 

He stops and takes a breath before turning around and taking in his sad display of a room, but he can’t help but smile. Nothing can be worse than his room from a few weeks ago. 

All the sudden, the door swings open and collides with Steve’s back causing him to stumble forward and curse. 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were...” the man trails off as Steve turns around. 

It’s the same long-haired guy he saw before, but close up he’s absolutely... 

Eddie. Soulmate. 

Steve’s entire being feels drawn to him, and it’s like he understands what all the soulmates mean when they say as soon as they saw them they just knew. And it feels so right. He’s somehow everything that Steve had always dreamed of since he first got his mark, and nothing at all like what he expected. He’s about to finally say that it’s him, it’s Steve, when he finally shakes himself out of it. 

No, it’s not him. It’s not possible. He’s already met Eddie. 

So, Steve sticks his hand out and says, “I’m Keys.” 

And something about his name must falter whatever is going on in the man’s head as he reaches out and replies, “Kas. Uh, you must be my s- roommate.” 

Steve smiles tightly as the label doesn’t rest well with him. He shakes his hand and can’t help but notice the way his hand feels right in his, but he’s also wearing a band around his wrist that kind of jostles with Steve’s and it feels so wrong like he needs to pry them both off- 

“My roommate who I just hit with the door. Shit, I’m sorry, man, I just got some crazy news that my best friend found her soulmate. At least, I think that’s what I was witnessing because she was just making out with this other girl, and I don’t know, I just kind of ran like hell. And I wasn’t thinking and bam hit you with the door,” Kas rambles out and it’s overwhelmingly endearing to Steve especially when he pulls his hair in front of his face and continues, “Sorry, man, I’m just kind of freaking out.” 

And Steve knows exactly what he means. “I can’t blame you. I just had the same sort of shit happen. My best friend just found her soulmate, and I’m at a loss. I know I should feel happy for her, but I can’t help but think I’m going to be abandoned or some shit.” Steve stops and wonders why the hell he’s talking so much and basically spewing his soul to a stranger. “Sorry,” Steve apologizes and shakes his head, “I don’t usually open up so easily.” 

“Neither do I, but that’s just because I have to keep up my dark and mysterious persona,” Kas says with a bright smile as he raises his hands and wiggles his fingers. 

Steve can’t help but laugh. 

Kas’s smile falls, but more in a dramatic way than a hurt way. “What? Do you not think I’m all dark and mysterious?” 

This makes Steve laugh even harder. He has no idea how this man with the energy of a hyper puppy and the biggest brown doe eyes he’s ever seen has ever appeared threatening or rather “dark and mysterious.” 

Kas sighs and frowns at him, but that just further drives home the point. Steve can’t help but try to stifle his laughter and reply as seriously as he can, “Oh, you’re dark and mysterious alright.” 

Kas lightly shoves him as a blush comes to his cheeks, and Steve doesn’t remember ever feeling so connected to someone as soon as he met them. He can’t help but think that Kas is thinking the same thing as they stare at each other, both smiling as something like hope stirs in Steve. 

He wishes more than anything that soulmates didn’t exist. 

“Hey, Kas!” 

“Keys!” 

Kas and Steve jump back as they stare at the two girls in their doorway who glance back at each other. “No way,” Robin and Chrissy both say together and laugh. 

It takes Steve a moment longer than everyone, but then he’s looking at Kas with wide eyes as he realizes how cruel and kind the universe really is. 

[bluegoblinzz]

Darewoof the Dazed Dynamic Doggo

Zach was surrounded by milkshakes, burgers, a lot of chatter, and his group of friends. All of them were laughing and joking with each other, and he looked around, smiling and appreciating the moment. And he wanted to appreciate it more, but he couldn’t help but shake the thought that there would only be so many more days like this before all of them would move on with their lives, and such a thought made it hard for him to stay in the moment, to enjoy himself. 

Little did he know, his phone buzzed on the table, his screen flashing on as a notification appeared. 

Master Morpheo

Attatchment: 1 image. 

Zach knew exactly what this was about and what the attachment was. A lump formed in his throat, knowing he had no choice but to leave his friends, but at the same time: he somehow felt a weight lift from his shoulders. Just for today, he wouldn’t need to tell his friends how he felt, and he wouldn’t need to remind them that they had little time left together. 

“Uhh, Guys?” Zach spoke up. “Sorry, I gotta go. Emergency at work.”

“Oh come on!” Gabe grumbled. “Don’t be such a party pooper.” 

“No really, my boss will kill me if I don’t get take this.” 

Or, something else will kill you, Zach thought to himself. 

“No, I get it,” Cece said. “Good luck!” She smirked at Zach, which made his face go red with embarrassment. Cece knew Zach’s secret and she always teased him for it, no matter how much he told her to stop. 

Zach stood up from the table, threw twenty bucks onto the table, and sped out the door of the diner. Cold air hit his face as he jogged, and the silence that was probably calm to some was deafening to him, bringing up his sense of urgency even more. He slipped into an alleyway, and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He unlocked his phone, and clicked to download the gif that he received. The image was sent in this way on purpose, so Zach wouldn’t click on it by accident, triggering it prematurely. When the image downloaded, it expanded to fill his screen.

A lime and dark green spiral swirled before his eye. His muscles relaxed, and his breath slowed down, an overwhelming calm taking over. His eyes widened to look closer at the spiral, trying to make sense of the way it spun and to focus on one part of it, but the more he looked, the more it confused him, the more his mind became foggy, the deeper he fell into trance, the better he felt. 

“Grroof!” 

A doggish bark forced its way from his throat like a hiccup. At a point in the center of his mind, a seed emerged. It was seed of desire, a desire to be something different, a desire to obey. It was a seed of thoughtlessness and of calm. The seed cracked open and expanded outward, its slithering through his soul, branching out to every corner of his mind. His lips curved up into a smile, and his tongue lulled out of his mouth. He began panting like a dog. 

As he continued watching the spiral, he was brought back to the time he was hired. 

Weeks earlier, an old bearded man came to the campus for an event for school. He was a hypnotist who wore a top hat and carried a pocket watch. He hypnotized groups of people, and did things like make them forget their name, make them talk backwards, and made them do silly dances when a certain word was said. At the end of his show, he asked for a volunteer from the crowd for a special act. Zach’s friends pressured him to go up on stage and be hypnotized. 

“Man,” Gabe had said. “You’re gonna look so stupid, I can’t wait.” 

“Gabe, shut up,” Cece retorted. “Zach, you’ll do great! It’ll be fun!” 

With some more coaxing and convincing, Zach went up on the stage, which garnered applause from the other college students in the audience. 

“Thank you for coming up!” The old man said, “It’s very brave of you. What might your name be, young man?” 

“Zach,” he replied. He tried to play it cool and act cool, but his stomach churned in that moment, realizing he didn’t know how to act and didn’t know what to say. 

I look ridiculous, he thought, I already look ridiculous. 

“Okay Zach,” The man said. “Like I said, I have a very special show for you, so if you could kneel down, we could get started.” He knelt on the ground before the hypnotist, and looked up at him. The spotlight from the stage irritated him, but soon enough he didn’t notice it, as he watched the pocket watch swing back and forth. Zach saw a green light emanate from it. His entire body felt warm, and his muscles melted. 

“Allow yourself to fall into trance. You’re feeling better and better the deeper you go… going deeper and deeper the better you feel. You’re not thinking about exams, in fact forget your exams… you are here now… You remember nothing. You know nothing but now.” 

Zach had always considered himself to be a dork, or just a social outcast.That lead him to being a man of few words, which lead some of his peers to think he was weird, and others to think he was mysterious and cool. Zach had thought “fake it until you make it,” and played into this “cool guy” that people thought he was. He had worn more dark colors and bought a grey hoodie. He spoke little of himself because he thought little of himself. But that was what synthesized into who “Zach” was that day.

And that Zach disappeared. 

He wasn’t Zach, he knew nothing. He let himself melt further and his eyes followed the pretty green light. 

“You’re not a college student now,” The hypnotist said, “You’re a dog… aren’t you? Yes, you’re a dog. And you have so much joy and love. You love belly rubs and chew toys. You love playing fetch.”

As the hypnotist spoke, Zach felt the words manifest themselves as truth. His skin tingled as an intense warmth spread across his body. The tingling briefly got more intense and then subsided as a layer of fur broke the surface of his skin, all over his body all at once. His stomach as well as his the bottom of his face, his chin, and his neck all became covered in white fur. Everywhere else, he became covered in brown fur that matched his hair color. The skin on his nose and on his palms became darker and softer until his palms had black paw-pads, and his nose was the soft wet nose of a dog. 

There was was a brief but intense pressure in his lower back. His jeans ripped as a tail emerged and wagged wildly. He didn’t realize what he was doing, but the more he wagged his tail, the happier he felt.  

The green light felt as if it seeped into his brain, taking roots in the forefront of his consciousness and silencing his loudest thoughts. As the tendrils of light continued seeping deeper into his brain, more and more thoughts and memories subsided. He tilted his head with confusion, trying to make sense of what was happening, but his mind wasn’t working, and his confusion was replaced with pure joy. He felt the green light swirling around in his brain, emptying his mind and replacing thoughts with doggish excitement.  

His nose and mouth effortlessly extended forward, growing longer into the muzzle of a dog. The tips of his ears extended and grew pointy, folding and becoming concave at each of their tips,  and moved to the top of his head. The final change was in his feet, as his shoes morphed under the pressure of his growing toes, before it burst open revealing fully formed paws. His tongue lulled out of his mouth and he began panting with excitement. All he could see was green light. His head was empty. 

The hypnotist snapped his fingers. Zach snapped his head back upright, eyes wide and still panting with joy. 

“Speak,” the hypnotist commanded. 

“Grroof!” Zach replied

“Shake.”

Zach offered a hand covered in white fur. 

“Good boy,” The hypnotist said, scratching Zach behind the ear. Zach nuzzled up to him, feeling immense joy and comfort. He didn’t know what was happening or why he felt this way, but he loved the way he felt.  Zach’s ears perked up at a squeaking sound. He looked up and saw a blue ball held in the hypnotist’s palm. He pointed his muzzle toward it. The hypnotist moved his hand to the side. Zach jumped up and followed the ball, keeping it in his gaze. The man threw the ball into the audience. Zach bounded through the crowd on all fours, and picked up the ball in his maw. He was rewarded immediately by pets from the audience, He rolled over for belly rubs. He shook his arms and legs as each pet tickled him. He felt an intense love and appreciation he hadn’t felt in years. He was in heaven in that moment, in a world without any worries or fears, just joy. 

The hypnotist snapped again. The dog was gone in an instant and the college boy was back. His tail fur and muzzle were gone. There was joy lingering, as if a friend had told him a joke that left a smile on his face even as his mind wandered elsewhere. Zach spat the ball out of his mouth, eyes widened as he processed what had happened. His mind had gone, and he wasn’t himself… but he was still himself, and he knew what he was doing as he did it. Was it an act? Thinking about whether or not he wanted to be a dog in that moment: the answer would be no, but when in trance the answer was yes. He wanted to do this… it was fun…. And he sort of wanted to do it again. 

There was applause as the hypnotist took a bow, and walked off the stage. Slowly the crowd began filing out of the small theater on campus, and then the hypnotist walked right up To Zach and gave him a business card.

“You put on a great show,” the hypnotist told him. “If you ever want to be a dog again, and you’re looking for work: call me.” 

Zach snapped back to the present moment, and looked up from his phone, up away from the green spiral, still panting with his tongue lulled out. His short nose in the middle of his vision was replaced with a long doggish muzzle. He was covered in fur once again, his feet were paws, and his tail wagged wildly.  Most importantly, however, he was wearing a green shiny spandex suit, with muscular padding on his abs and arms, and a shiny cape flowing behind him in the wind. He stuck his hands on his hips, and puffed his chest out. 

Another suggestion echoed in Zach’s mind, one that Master Morpheo told him when he officially gave him a job.

“You are a super hero, fearless, enthusiastic, and strong. You expect and accept treats and headpats from those you save, and you can never resist a game of fetch. You have the ability to fly, laser vision, super strength, a super sense of smell and hearing, and a super heart.”

“You. Are. Darewoof.”

Zach tilted his head back, let out two barks, and then howled in pride. He crouched down, and then rocketed upward, taking to the sky and flying across town, holding one fist out in front of him as he flew. Cars and houses zipped by him in his vision. The college students below either stared up in awe, pointed at him, or waved to him. 

A distant high pitched scream pierced his ears. He jerked his head to the side to see where it came from and did a loop de loop in the air to fly toward it. screams were coming from one small house on the edge of campus. As he got closer to the house he saw holes in the roof and in the walls, students evacuating and scrambling, and he saw a big bulky figure holding a giant metal hammer, smashing holes into the walls. 

Whoever this was wore a jet pack, allowing him to float, and also wore a spandex suit, however it was purple blue and black, and had a big  blue spiral in the center of his chest. His eyes were concealed by a high tech visor that glowed a pinkish purple in the darkness. More importantly: his skin was a deep pink, his ears were floppy, the tip of his nose pointed upward like a snout, he had hooves instead of feet, and two big gleaming tusks jutted out from his jaw. 

The big pig man brandished his hammer and snarled at the dog hero. 

“Hello, Darewoof.” 

To be continued?

[ecargmura]

My Happy Marriage Second Season Episode 12 Review - Like A Final Boss Battle

This really felt like a final boss battle with everything that transpired. However, Usui’s end feels very unsatisfying. Am I the only one who felt this way?

I know I might get harked on this, but Usui reminds me a lot of Obito Uchiha from Naruto. They’re quite similar in backstory and motivation too in that they’re both a bit of an outcast in their clan, fell for a brunette girl who didn’t treat him like he was weird and their desire to destroy the world stems from losing the person they loved; though, Obito is a bit more complex. They’re both empty people in a way—they create chaos because they don’t know how to cope with the fact that the person they loved is gone and whether what they’re doing is accepted by them or not matters little. They never found an identity for themselves, hence why they do things in the name of someone. I’m no psychologist, so that’s how I see it. I do feel like it would’ve been great if Sumi had rejected the way he was now instead of being some sort of all-good deus ex machina… I do commend Yuya Uchida for voicing a terrifying villain like Usui. He should try to do more villain roles in the future because he’s great at it.

The battle between Kiyoka and Usui was pretty cool for a shoujo series and I am not saying that as a negative thing. We need more shoujo action sequences because the only other one I know that is well-animated is The Yuzuki Family’s Four Sons with how Minato and Uta fought as young kids. It was also pretty dark with the way Usui was essentially using his powers to play mind games with Kiyoka. It shows off how dangerous the Usuba ability can be if one uses it for evil. The way Kiyoka believed he was attacked by Usui’s knife that he doesn’t have and the way Usui could summon that knife and pain whenever he wants to makes him extremely terrifying.

Arata also makes surprising actions in this episode where he’s willing to point a gun at Miyo but later points it at Usui and he’s the one who gets the kill. I don’t know if he deserved to have gotten that kill, but I’ll give it points for surprise factor. But hey, Miyo was able to change the future as she had a premonition that Arata would die via knife to the head, but it became a knife to the torso. It would’ve been nice to see some signs that he was going to betray Usui earlier, but it makes sense not to do so because the story isn’t about Arata. At least, it’s some sort of irony that an Usuba was the one who ended Usui.

Most of all, I love that Miyo’s willing to slap and not sympathize with Usui. Heck, she only took him to the dream realm so that she can finally talk to him without violence and all. Unfortunately for her, Usui can’t be reasoned with words, but I do like that it doesn’t. Sometimes, someone has gotten so far deep that they cannot come back out with mere words.  Her dream realm reminds me of Tanjiro’s inner soul and The Final World in Kingdom Hearts 3. I just think the scenery of seeing a horizon of the sky with clouds and water that reflects it is beautiful and tranquil.

Now that the Usui threat has ended and the Emperor has been rescued, I do wonder what’s to come. There’s one more episode left and we still haven’t gotten a proper wedding. Will it happen next episode? Let me know your thoughts!

[thisaintascenereviews]

Underoath – The Place After This One

Throughout my life as a music fan, I’ve only had four favorite bands, and three of the four I’d still consider among my favorites. When I was a teenager, my favorite bands were pop-punk / alternative band Fall Out Boy (who are still my favorite band today) and metalcore / post-hardcore band Underoath. I haven’t talked about them too much over the last seven years, since I last listened to them, but they’ve sort of fallen off over the last decade or so. Their 2018 comeback album, Erase Me, was a solid affair from what I remember, but it was also more of a generic Octanecore / metalcore than their earlier stuff. I liked it at the time it came out, but I haven’t gone back to it since. It took another four years for them to drop another album, 2022’s Voyeurism, and I never heard this album, but from what I’ve heard, it was okay. I can’t say I was excited about their new album, The Place After This One, but they switched labels for the third time to MNRK Heavy (which is basically a rebranding of eOne, a pretty cool indie label that has a lot of stuff I really like), and I didn’t hear anything from this album before it came out. I went into this album totally blind (or deaf, I guess), and I’m happy I did that, because The Place After This One isn’t only their best album in almost 20 years, but it’s one of their best albums period. I don’t know what it’s in the water, but a lot of bands from the last 20 years are releasing some of their best music lately – Fall Out Boy, Bayside, Silverstein, and many more are dropping great records that among the best of their careers.

I haven’t enjoyed an album from these guys this much since 2008’s Lost In The Sound Of Separation, but I absolutely love this record. This album reminds me a lot of the latest Fall Out Boy album, 2023’s So Much (For) Stardust, because that album attempted to go back to the band’s classic pop-punk and alternative sound, but with a modern twist to it that added new elements to their sound to keep it fresh, instead of trying to appeal to the “elder emo” crowd that only wants to hear Take This To Your Grave and From Under The Cork Tree. Fall Out Boy added elements of soul, R&B, funk, and disco to their sound to make it really fun and modern, but Underoath add more pop, electronic, and synthwave sounds to their identity to make for a reinvigorated sound. The album starts off on an explosive note with “Generation No Surrender” that’s a caustic and roaring metalcore banger, and the album has its fair share of those, but it’s the songs that switch things up that I really like. Songs like “Teeth” and “All The Love Is Gone” are less based on metalcore and post-hardcore and they rely on electronic and pop textures. When the album takes risks, it works pretty well, and it’s a nice change from what they’re known for.

Even so, the performances are what drive this record, too; both harsh vocalist Spencer Chamberlain and clean vocalist Aaron Gillespie are two of the best vocalists in the scene period, but they’re also one of the best vocal duos of the scene. They work so well off each other, and their chemistry is palpable, but it’s so nostalgic to hear them play off each other with the “good cop, bad cop” vocal dynamic that they’re so used to. I absolutely love it, and this album is such a fun, engaging, and oddly nostalgic listen, but still feels like it’s new. At only 39 minutes, this record is also short and sweet, and it doesn’t overstay its welcome, thankfully. It knows what it wants to be, so it stays in its own lane, but also experimenting and taking risks here and there. This is easily their best album in almost 20 years, and I’m flabbergasted that they were able to come through with an album this good, because I heard the mixed reactions to their last one. I don’t know what happened, but they came through with this one. If anything, this album shows the band returning to their roots, but doing something new and modern with it, versus just showing us the same tricks. That’s how a lot of these bands are doing it now, and I’m all for it, especially if that means they’re giving us some of the best material that they’ve ever done. Twenty-five years later, and this band is still going strong, and this album is a great addition to their discography.

[troius]

Six Hearts vs. Fullbringers: Rukia vs. Tsukishima

Yeah I’m legit mad this isn’t what we got.

Tsukishima isn’t the main villain of the story, but he pretends to be for a good portion of it, and he’s got an absolutely terrifying power that drives directly at the heart of the arc, the relationships between Ichigo and his friends. Tsukishima slowly tears them apart, first by participating in the assault on Uryu, and then by brainwashing every single human in Ichigo’s life, until he’s in a murderous state and actually fighting Chad and Orihime.

And then, in the semi-main event of the arc, he fights...Byakuya. A person who Ichigo has barely spoken to, and could probably go very happily his entire life without speaking to again. The guy who has spent this whole arc winning by subverting interpersonal relationships winds up failing, ironically, because Byakuya doesn’t actually value those relationships as much as he values abstract ideals, and so blasts his chest out without hesitation. It makes sense, I guess, but it doesn’t really do anything in the context of the story.

To the extent the Byakuya-Tsukishima fight does have symbolic relevance, it’s in regards to Ichigo’s relationship with Soul Society. Soul Society (and Byakuya) were going to execute Rukia. Ichigo fought to stop that, and reminded Soul Society that principles are more important than process, that governing isn’t just a mandate to preserve one’s government, but also a responsibility to do right by others. Rukia being sacrificed at the altar of justice would have perverted the very concept itself.

Which, cool and all, but if Rukia is the central character in all that...why isn’t she the one in this fight? If we’re going to test Ichigo’s relationship with Soul Society, shouldn’t it be through his oldest and closest ally? It’s a subplot that’s present in the earlier parts of the arc, though it gets forgotten. Keigo specifically brings up Rukia not being in touch as a reason Ichigo’s being such a grouch. He remembers her when thinking on his past pride as a Soul Reaper. He hears her voice when generating his Fullbring.

And in this final battle, especially when Ginjo is revealing how Soul Society was less then trusting of Ichigo, this should all be paid off! After all, Rukia might not have known about the badge when Ukitake gave it to Ichigo...but she’s Ukitake’s lieutenant now! I’d find it hard to believe she wasn’t told at some point in the last 18 months. So this fight should thematically not just represent Ichigo’s trust and relationship with Soul Society writ large, but also his friendship with Rukia specifically.

So much work has already been done to set it up! Rukia has probably the most well-developed past out of all the characters in the story-- we’ve seen flashbacks to her childhood, her academy days, and her time with Squad 13, and she’s been in the story since the very first chapter. So unlike Byakuya, we’ll have a wide range of old scenes for Tsukishima to insert himself into, to really scare the reader with how essential he can make himself to her life. Imagine Tsukishima giving her Kaien’s speech on heart, or Ukitake’s speech on honor, or saving her from Aizen on Sokyoku Hill. We were already a little worried about Rukia’s feelings toward Ichigo given her lack of communication, and what Ginjo has revealed about Soul Society...now that Tsukishima’s the most important person in her life so far, how could she possibly win?

Well, because of the Heart, duh. Tsukishima pretty consistently shows that he doesn’t understand or practice two-way relationships-- he was dependent on (and used by) Ginjo, something he reproduces with Moe, but there isn’t a sense of mutual support for either of those relationships. It’s one-way fealty. And he does the same thing when he paints himself into the pasts of Ichigo’s friends: it’s always as the provider, the beloved mentor, the patron.

And so in rewriting Rukia’s past I don’t think he’d bother to change her relationship with Ichigo much. Sure, he’d make it so that he came to Soul Society and stopped the Sokyoku, but all that stuff that happened before? Where it was just Rukia giving her power to Ichigo, and teaching him how to use it, and guiding him through this new life he was completely ill-equipped for? Why bother?

Well, because that’s where the bond was formed. Because personal relationships aren’t a transactional, tit-for-tat exchange of goods and services. Rukia might have had the power vis-a-vis Ichigo in those early days, but by being that person for him she grew, taking on a responsibility that allowed her to feel for the first time in decades like she was a strong, independent person. And this, combined with Ichigo time after time proving himself worthy of her powers and guidance, created such a trust that no pilfered monologue can shake. We saw it when Aaroniero was cosplaying Kaien back in Soul Society-- yes, he meant something to Rukia, but Ichigo means something to her today. She trusts him implicitly, because he earned it. And this fight is where that becomes explicit.

So yeah, this fight would have a whole lot of cutting Rukia without bleeding, and a whole lot of Tsukishima-insert flashbacks, and would maybe be intercut with Ginjo expositing to Ichigo about Soul Society’s nefarious spy device. And while Ginjo is trying to convince Ichigo that Soul Society (and by extension Rukia) are evil and out to get him, Tsukishima would be trying the reverse, avoiding Rukia’s established powers before trying to convince her that, considering Ichigo’s done nothing for her in her life, she should really be fighting him instead.

Rukia admits that Ichigo hasn’t done what Tsukishima has done for her. Then she blasts him through the chest with Soren Sokatsui, without the incantation. Something she admits to Tsukishima that she’d never even attempted before. But she believes in herself. Because she believed in Ichigo. And that’s why she still believes in him.