#was one of the most surreal moments of my life lol

[coffincoitus]

every time someone (or even myself) jokes about the "it's not dead it just went to live at the farm<3" classic lie, I remember the time when I was a kid and my family hid the fact that my grandfather had died for like a whole month by saying he was at the hospital recuperating 😭

[yesloulou]

.

[whimsiwitchy]

he's hooked (oneshot)

hugh jackman x actress!reader

summary: y/n is an actress in her early 20’s. after having the best night of her career, Hugh Jackman introduces himself. the two stars hook up in the venue's bathroom and for y/n it was nothing but a one night stand. However, Hugh becomes obsessed and can’t let her go so easily.

warnings: use of y/n, she/her pronouns, age gap (22/55), smut, protected vaginal penetration, dirty talk, reader is kinda cocky, hugh is very persistent, reader mentions age gap a lot, oral (f receiving), one use of daddy (in a playful way), bathroom sex.

authors note: y'all I am trying my absolute best to write smut. this is my second attempt and while i'm not super proud of it, I am proud of myself for trying. practice makes perfect I guess lol. anyways, I hope you enjoy. (sorry if it sucks butt) love y'all <33

 Tonight felt like a dream. It was the 97th Academy Awards and you had won your first Oscar for best actress. When your name was called, you were completely shocked. The category was filled with nominees that you had looked up to your entire life and you genuinely thought you had no shot of winning. You were completely honored to win such an award so early into your career. After the ceremony was over, most of the attendees made their way over to the Oscars Governors Ball, which was one of the few after parties that are held annually after the event. It felt surreal to be in a place full of Hollywood's biggest names and it was even crazier that you were now one of them. You were currently sitting at the bar waiting for a drink when a deep accented voice spoke. “Congratulations on your big win tonight. You deserve it.” When you look over to see who was speaking, you’re met with a very handsome Hugh Jackman. “Oh thank you. Congrats to you too, best actor.” Your tone is teasing yet sincere. “I’m Hugh.” He offers his hand to shake, which you take. “I know who you are, Mr.Jackman. I’m y/n.” You shake his hand firmly, letting it go right after. “I know who you are, Ms. y/l/n.” He joked back and you let out a small laugh. You look forward as the bartender sits your drink in front of you and you give him a quick thank you. From the corner of your eye, you can see Hugh’s eyes trail your body. “Did you just check me out?” You turn your head to face him. “It’s hard not to when you look that good.” Hugh says without missing a beat. “Aren’t you married? I don’t think your wife would appreciate you hitting on a twenty two year old.” You give him an accusing look. He lifts his left hand, showing off his bare ring finger. “I'm divorced, babe.” You almost miss the smirk that rests on his bearded face. 

“Hm. Well in that case, there are plenty of beautiful women here your own age here that would happily go home with you tonight. Maybe you should flirt with them.” You turn back to your drink, taking a long sip through the skinny straw. “None of them are as pretty as you. You’re the most gorgeous woman here by far.” You let out a laugh of disbelief. “Bye Hugh Jackman. It was nice meeting you.” You slowly climb down the tall ball stool and grab your drink. Before you can walk off, Hugh calls your name, causing you to turn back towards him. “I’d love to take you out to dinner sometime.” He smiles and you’d be lying if you said the sight didn’t make your heartbeat stutter. “You know that Real Steel was my favorite movie when I was like eleven. Does that make my age more apparent to you or do you not care?” He furrows his brows, pretending to think for a moment. “Hm. I don’t think I care very much.” You laugh, dropping your head. “You’re unbelievable.” He smiles. “So is that a yes?” “No.” You smile and walk away. 

—

Your friend Kayleigh was ranting to you about a technical issue that happened during her performance earlier in the night and you were trying your best to pay attention. Sometime in between the chat you had with Hugh and now, he had removed the black suit jacket he had on. The sleeves of his white button up dress shirt were rolled up, showing off his large forearms, his biceps peaking out slightly. It was overly distracting. “Girl what the fuck are you staring at?” She moves her head around trying to match your staring gaze. “Y/n please don’t tell me you're staring at that old man right now.” You give her a sheepish look. “God, straight people are so fucking weird.” She sighs. “It’s not weird. He’s kinda hot.” You admit. “Whatever you say. Why don’t you just go talk to him? I’m almost positive he’d fuck you if you ask.” You look back over to where Hugh is talking to some older woman, just like you had suggested. “I kinda already turned him down. Well, not for sex. He asked me to dinner.” Her face scrunches up. “Ew. He’s like older than your parents.” You laugh. “Is it bad that I find that hot?” She nods. “Yes y/n. That’s like really fucking weird dude.” You ignore her. “Should I go try to get him to fuck me?” You ask, genuinely wanting her opinion. “If that’s really what you’re into these days, go for it. I’m highly disgusted by you right now though.” You stand up and grab the small clutch you had with you. “Eh. You’ll get over it. You’ll be okay on your own for a little bit?” She gives you a thumbs up and you make your way over to Hugh and the woman he was speaking to. 

“Hi, sorry to interrupt.” You apologize and turn to Hugh. “Could I talk to you alone for a moment?” He looks confused and completely caught off guard. “Uh, yea.” He turns to the woman. “It was nice to catch up with you.” She says something back that you don’t catch, too busy staring at the vein that is basically jumping out of Hugh’s arm. “You wanted to talk to me?” His words bring you out of your thirsting trance. “Follow me.” You grab his hand, dragging him through a door and into a hallway. “Where are we going?” He asks, taken aback by your lack of plan. “I’m not sure.” You say as you continue to drag him. “Y/n slow down, we can talk here. There’s no one out here.” He stops walking and it makes you tumble back, his grip on your hand stopping you from continuing forward. “We need somewhere private.” His confused expression only deepens. “I don’t know how much more private this can get darling. If it’s really that much of a secret, we can stop talking if someone comes by.” He offers and you huff. “I don’t actually wanna talk Hugh.” 

“You’re confusing me here darling.” You wiggle your hand out of his and raise it to your head in frustration. “I want you to fuck me.” You look at him and his eyes go wide. “I’m sorry…what?” “If you don’t want to, that's fine, we can go back.” Your confidence began to falter. “Wait, that’s not what I'm saying.” 

“So you want to fuck me?” He takes a moment to think before answering.

“Yes.” 

“Then help me find somewhere private.” The two of you make your way down the never ending hallway, checking every door you see. Hugh opens a door and closes it, making his way down the hallway. Seeing as it was the only door that opened so far, you went to check it yourself and saw that it was an empty bathroom. “Why’d you keep going, this is perfect.” You shout at him. “I’m not fucking you in a bathroom.” He looks at you like that was obvious. “Well it’s not like we have any other options. Come on.” You go inside and wait for him. Once he’s inside you motion to the door. “Lock it.” You tell him. “We’re really doing this?” He asks, confirming. “Unless you don’t want to.” He takes a pause before speaking again. “Get your pretty ass over here.” He growls. 

You walk over to him slowly. He pulls you close to him once you’re in arms reach and you look up at him through your lashes. “Too damn sexy for your own good.” He whispers before leaning down and locking his lips with yours. The feeling of his beard against your skin was addicting. The kiss was slow at first, both of you testing the waters with each other. It was you who begged to enter his mouth, tongue sliding against his lips. You didn’t want to come off so desperate but you needed more from him. His large hands slid down to your ass, giving it a tight squeeze that has you gasping. His tongue dives into your mouth, exploring every crevice. It’s messy but it’s hot. “Jump.” He commands and you listen. His hands grab the back side of your thighs and he walks you over to the counter, sitting you down inbetween two of the sinks. His lips are back on yours the moment your body touches the cold surface. 

“You sure you want to do this baby?” He asks. “Positive.” You breathe out. Hugh bends down, sitting on both of his knees. Grabbing your ankle, he gives kisses to the skin that your heel doesn’t cover. He moves upward, leaving long sensual kisses up your calf and thigh, raising the end of your dress as he goes. As simple as the gesture was, it felt erotic, never having a man take this kind of care with you before. His lips move higher, curving with your leg until he’s hovering above your pussy. “You’re wet already baby?” His voice is cocky and if it weren’t for the heat of his breath making your mind foggy, you would’ve called him out on it. He gives the wet spot on your panties a shy kiss. The act has you letting out a quiet moan, sounding louder from the echo of the bathroom. He slips a finger behind the cotton of your underwear and tugs at it while looking up at you. “Can I take these off?” He asks, finger still tugging the fabric dangerously close to where you need him the most. “Yes.” It’s breathy but it gets the job done because Hugh moves his head up, grabbing the top of the fabric with his teeth. He starts to tug your panties down, using one of his hands to help the other side. You lift your body slightly as Hugh pulls them down farther. When they’re all the way off, Hugh sits back with your panties hanging from the big toothy smile he's wearing. The sight was definitely going to be what you pictured the next time you touched yourself. 

“Oh fuck me..” He grabs your panties from his teeth and slides them into his back pocket. “Mhm. not yet, baby. Wanna eat your pretty pussy first.” He leans back in between your legs, lips ghosting over your heat. “So perfect.” He whispers as he kisses each pussy lip three times before finally kissing your clit. “Mhmm, please Hugh.” His tongue slides from your opening to your bud teasingly slow. You can feel his beard scratching the sensitive skin but it only adds to the pleasure. He swirls his tongue around your clit a few times before sucking it into his lips, the feeling causes you to jerk your hips. His hands, that were gently holding your ankles, moved up to hold your hips down. His mouth moves down to your opening, tongue plunging in and out a few times before moving back up to your clit. You hadn’t even noticed that one of his hands moved from your hip until you felt one of his fingers dip into you slowly. He curls the finger and moves it back and forth at an unexpectedly fast pace. Before you can adjust to it, he’s adding another finger and it all becomes too much. “Fuck..I’m gonna cum.” Your words are mixed with moans. He doesn't let up, his tongue and fingers speeding up and it has you cumming hard around his fingers, loud moans feel the air. He gives your pussy one last kiss before leaning back and removing his fingers. When you can fully see his face, it is a sight to see. His salt and pepper beard is covered in your slick, lips glossy. 

“Want you to see how good you taste darling.” He says while moving his two fingers to your lips. You open your mouth and stick out your tongue, taking his fingers in your mouth slowly. Hugh hisses as you suck around his fingers, tongue swirling around each one.  Once you're confident that they’re clean, you grab his wrist and take his fingers out of your mouth with a pop. “You still gonna fuck me old man or did you already cum in your pants?” You joke with him. He stands up, both knees popping in the process. Just as you're about to laugh and make fun of him some more, he grabs you off of the counter to stand you up. He turns you around and bends you over the counter. “You keep talking like you weren’t the one staring at me for an hour before asking me to fuck you.” He goes to undo his belt buckle and you shiver at the sound. You're looking back at him through the mirror. “Whatever.” You reach over to your clutch and open it, grabbing a condom. You reach back and hold it back to Hugh. “Here, put this on.” He grabs it with a questioning look. “Why were you carrying condoms?” You roll your eyes and rest your head in your hands, elbows propped up. “Can you mind your business and fuck me already. I’m getting bored.” You were lying right through your teeth. You were far from bored but you wanted to keep the whole ‘hard to get’ game going a little longer.

You watch him open the condom and see his arms move as he rolls it down his cock. As bad as you wished you could see him fully but it was kind of exciting- not knowing what you were about to get. “How do you want me baby?” He asks, looking at you through the mirror. You get a small glimpse of his dick as he slaps it across your ass. “Give me all you got daddy.” He smirks and shakes his head at the name. He lines up his member with your entrance and slides in slowly. Once he’s bottomed out, he doesn’t wait long before he’s slamming back into you. The stretch stings slightly and you hadn’t expected him to be so big. He slaps your ass hard and you yelp in response. You drop your head down at the pleasure. “Nuh uh. Look at me while I fuck you baby.” You raise your head to look at Hugh through the mirror again. “That’s it. Look at how pretty you look getting fucked by an old man.” You couldn’t help but listen to him. Hugh was fucking you dumb and you couldn’t think straight. His balls hitting your clit was what sent you over the edge for a second time. “Please don’t stop Hugh mhmmm fuck baby. I’m cumming, please don’t stop, baby.” Your moans match the rhythm of his hips, each thrust knocking the air out of you with its force. “Just like that sweet girl. Fuck not gonna last much longer.” Even after your high, the pleasure continues as Hugh chases his own. You push your hips back, meeting his thrust. The act makes Hugh moan. “Mhm, I'm gonna cum baby.” His hands squeeze your hips, thrusts getting sloppy as he cums. 

The two of you stay quiet as you both freshen up and try to make it less noticeable that you two left to have sex. You push yourself up onto the counter, sitting lazily as you watch Hugh toss his hair around. “Can you kiss me again?” You ask Hugh. He smiles and walks over to stand in between your legs. He grabs your cheeks and kisses you. “Mhm. You're a good kisser.” The compliment is sincere. You could kiss his lips for hours if he’d let you. He hums. “So, are you gonna let me take you out now?” You look in his eyes and smile. “Hugh we can’t. This was fun and it was good sex but that’s all it was.” “Why can’t we?” He’s quick with his words. “It’s just not practical Hugh. I think you're handsome and you seem like a sweet guy but I'm too young for you. The press would tear us apart quicker than we got together.” You explain. “Fuck the press. Let me take you out and get to know you at least.” You sigh. “I’m sorry Hugh. I can’t.” You offer him a small smile. “I’m not gonna stop trying. You’re too good to lose.” He kisses your cheek. “I should get back out there. I have a friend waiting for me.” He steps back, letting you hop down from the counter. “Bye Hugh Jackman.” You give him a small peck on the lips before leaving the bathroom. 

— 

A few weeks later, you were on set for the newest film you were working on. You’d just arrived an hour earlier and were sent to your trailer to get ready for the first scene. When you walked through the door, you were greeted with a bouquet of wildflowers and a note that read:

I can’t stop thinking about you. -H.J (xxx) xxx-xxxx

tag list: @prettycoolgirl, @nonamevenus, @godlypresley, @pedroscurls, @evasmlp, @bluetimeombre, @sue8724, @princessanglophile, @kellyxo1, @ccmoonshine, @hughverine, @chronicallybubbly, @realhotgirlshitah, @aurlavr, @almosthumongousfunsblog, @wolviesgirl, @flirtyjen, @lilgrinchbitch, @majesticalcocoa, @liamdasimp, @needz1nk, @squishyfruitloop, @afra-ww, @veru-boom

[obsessivelysweet]

Our Lovely Scorched Sun

Part 1

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Hello! Long time no see lol. I have just been busy with work and life, honestly, but I got some inspo and motivation, so here I am with this post. I wanted to do a different take on the SAGAU, but instead of normal creator, what if we had a presence of an Eldritch horror? Just being near us hurts them or touching our skin burns them, ya know? Like that kind of route. Reader is FemReader! Also, this is gonna be multiple parts! Also, sorry for any errors! I tried my best, hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Blood, gore, self h4rm, mental breakdowns, angst.

Story under the cut!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

You were their god, their salvation during dark times, their reason for living. When you finally descended into Teyvat, you were stunning, breathtaking even. A white flowly dress hugged your form as Teyvat softened your fall with flowers beneath you.

Your (h/c) falling around you like soft leaves, outlining your face. You were sleeping peacefully.

It was so serene.

You were beautiful even as they watched you softly fall.

Your followers were kneeling before you when you awoke from your slumber. Everything was hazy as your eyelashes fluttered open, the sun blazing onto your face, the gentle breeze softly pecking your cheek, and the soft whispers of people felt so surreal yet warm.

You looked around to see the characters you loved so dearly look at you with admiration, waiting for you to speak. It was truly a blessing to witness their creator finally here, with them, about to be worshiped by them.

However, this serene scene soon turned into cries of pain. Everything happened so fast. One moment, the characters you loved reaching to help you up, and the next moment, they recoil back screaming in agony as their skin blisters from something boiling hot.

It wasn't just their skin, either. It was their eyes as they looked upon you. It felt like they were staring into the sun, like daggers stabbing their eyes countless of time. Eyes tearing up from the intense pain, bloodshot even.

However, amongst the chaos, your followers still tried to comfort you as you began to panic as the scene got worse. They just wanted to help and make sure you were safe. However, even those followers got burned. Without thinking you got up and ran away, scared from what was happening, you didn't know if it was you causeing it or something else, but your mind said to run. Your followers screamed your name to come back, and even as they were screaming cries of pain, they still wanted their creator with them.

Months passed, and everyone learned how to live with their creator. You in the lavish palace they made for you, adorned with the most finest furnishings, colors, and flowers. You don't see any of the characters or be close to them at all. You have to stay in the palace, almost like a bird in a cage, alone. The only company you have is the sky and the breeze of the winds outside from your windows.

You gotten used to the quiet halls and the echoing audeince chamber. This was the only way for everyone to be safe.

You kept saying to yourself, "No more pain or screams from anyone."

When its time to eat, get new supplies, or get letters they wrote, a trusted follower will come inside your abode. The follower will put everything where its meant to be, while you are on the other side far from them, so your presnce doesnt effect them. This took a while to figure out, but if you're a good distance from them, they're safe.

Once you hear a bell ring, that's your cue that you can go back. This is how yall coexist, their creator safe and sound, and your followers are safe and sound. However, no one was truly happy in this situation. You were lonely, touch starved for human interaction, while your follwoers wanted to be closer to you, help you, be by your side..to fully worship you. It was years when you finally snapped, sick of being truly alone, you wanted to end it all. You were tired of just existing.

God, you were tired.

You started thrashing around your room, throwing plants, pillows, perfums, candles, anything really you can get your hands on. Suddenly, you hear a crash, and like a sign, you look towards the noise only to find your vanity mirror. It was broken, some pieces fell onto the marble floor, while the rest stayed in the mirror. Walking towards it, you saw your reflection, your e/c orbs looking back at you. The night gown you were wearing was a mess, hair in disarray, puffy eyes shown hours of crying. This is you, as pretty as you were, you were disgusted at yourself. And it didn't help that this reflection of you was broken. Jagged pieces showed yourself as broken. Which is how you felt truly at this moment. You were exhausted, angry, and humiliated at the face, looking back at you.

This body of yours was like posion to others, turning and twisting their faces into agnoy. That's when something inside of you erupted, sending your hands to your face. Tearing at your skin, you didn't feel any pain, too high on the aderaline to notice. Your nails dig deeper into your flesh, wishing this body, this flesh of yours didn't exist. Your once clean, beautiful nails were now coated in golden blood.

This was your fault.

If only you didn't have this body, you would be normal, be able to be with everyone. After what seemed like forever, the pain finally hit you, your raw flesh burned, golden hot liquid staining your gown, pooling at the ground. You gotten so deep that you saw bits of bone. You screamed in agony, trying not to touch your face, grabbing onto anything to squeeze your hands onto, to lessen the pain. While in this panic state, you saw your reflection one more time. This time, though, it was grotesque and feral. You looked non-human, almost like some kind of monster. Even though you saw the raw flesh, the bone, the veins, your mind told you this was your true form. The beauty you had earlier was an illusion, which made you sob from the realization. Soon, everything was turning hazy as your body began to shut down. It was all too much for you. With a loud thud, your body fell onto the same marble floor that was covered with your golden blood.

You awoke to the birds chirping outside, the soft morning light hitting your face to wake you. You slowly opened your eyes to see the marbled floor and the dry blood before you. In the same spot when you first fell, slowly getting up, you looked around to see the mess you made. Instinctively grabbing at your hair as pain surges from your head, the fall being to blame, you slowly pulled away to look around. You were still a bit hazy from sleep, so it was somewhat hard to focus on what's in front of you.

You were about to rub your eyes to wake up some more. However, you tensed up when you remembered about last night. Unfortunately, you realized too late, fearing for the buring sensation to come back, you closed your eyes to brace for the pain.

However, to your surprise, you didn't feel any burning or raw flesh in that matter either. Just your normal skin, like if none of what happened last night even transpired. It took you a second to snap out of your shock state to look at yourself in the mirror. Like a moth to a flame, you cling to the mirror, scanning your features from the jagged pieces.

You couldn't believe it.

There was no blood, no bone, no raw flesh being exposed.

It was fine.

You were fine.

You looked beautiful.

The only notion that something happened last night was the blood, the mess of the room, and the scars on your face. Like a reminder that you are stuck as you are, in this body, with this face, and with this flesh. Forever to be alone living like this.

Forever.

[spacebabesuki]

I can’t believe that right now, at this very moment, I'm choosing an outfit for the author photo of my book. MY BOOK, omg...It all feels so surreal, I still can’t wrap my head around it. After 11 years of writing for strangers online—people who meant the world to me—I never thought I’d actually be capable of something like this. I wish my 12-year-old self, alone, with a face full of pimples, always looking for comfort in books and writing her little fanfics on a notes app, could know that one day we’d be able to pull this whole dream off.

I don’t even care if it’s not a success, if it doesn’t sell, or if only my dad buys it; I’m just so happy because it’s happening—it’s starting to happen, and I never thought it would. Even if it takes another 10 years, just being able to call myself a writer will be enough.

Only I know how many times I made vision boards while studying for a completely different career, convinced this dream wasn’t possible. How many days have I cried at work, watching my ideas get taken by older men? And that’s why I finally decided to stop crying and go after this for real. We never know what’s going to happen, and I’m terrified, but at the same time, I know this is just the start of something that could really surprise me.

I can’t believe I’ve already received the draft of the cover. This is all insane, and maybe—just maybe—I’m not as terrible a writer as I always thought. Crying right now, and as the overly emotional little girl I’ve always been, I know this is only the first of many happy tears.

This may sound silly, but dream on. Dream until your dreams come true 🤎༄˖°.🍂.ೃ࿔*:・ ☕🍂🧸 🍂☕️🍁 🤎🍂

This book couldn’t possibly be more me—it has all the things I love most (hellcheer vibes too, of course), and I’m so excited for people to read it. I just hope that the opening paragraph about the 2008 New York Stock Market crash doesn’t scare anyone away from diving into the wild ride these 700 pages are going to be, lol. <3

And maybe—just maybe—if I can find enough interested readers, we might even have an English version on Amazon down the line. <3 That’s why I’m working on building a community here too, sharing my writing more often and putting myself out there.

I put together a little mood board because I’m so excited for life and the coming months; I can’t wait for the fall of 2025 here in Brazil!!!

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

miles kane, swg3 glasgow 01/02/2024

oh my god oh my GOD i don't even know where to start. last night was hands down not just one of the best gigs of my life, but one of the best nights of my life full stop. it's twenty four hours later and my heart just feels so full and i still can't stop smiling with pure happiness 🥹 i've been to a LOT of gigs over the years, and a lot of those have been really amazing gigs too - but this one. wow. there was truly just something so special about this one that i know i'll carry with me for a long time to come 💗

i feel like i could ramble endlessly about all the things that made it so incredible (i.e. literally everything), so to try and avoid writing an actual essay, here are a few bullet points of my favourite things:

being right in the front row was AMAZING for obvious reasons, but also because of the number of times miles made eye contact with me and smiled at me as he was singing 😭 (naturally any time this happened i smiled back like a total idiot and forgot all the words) me and the lovely human i was there with were the only ones at the barrier who were really getting into it at the start, and i got the sense he loved seeing how much we were loving being there 💗

miles just has the most incredible energy ✨ that's absolutely something you pick up from listening to his music, watching interview etc - but it's quite something else to experience in person. the moment he walks into a room he just gives off such good vibes and such warmth. there's such a sense of groundedness to him as well as all the amazing passion, and also idk. i feel like in person you can really feel the sensitivity and vulnerability that's so present in his music too. he truly lights up a room and just has such a knack for holding everyone captive 💫

getting to witness miles being overwhelmed and unable to stop smiling at how enthusiastic the crowd was truly wonderful 🥹 you could just *feel* how much it all meant to him, and watching him get all the love and appreciation he deserves was just magic 💖

at the end, he came down into the crowd towards me and was making direct eye contact and then he FUCKING SPOKE TO ME??????? 😭 i was too dazed to actually take in what he was saying (i'm pretty sure it was something along the lines of "i like your necklace" but honestly who knows lol), and it was very brief because naturally i wasn't the only person in the crowd he was saying hi to, but fucking HELL. i was totally, totally unprepared 😭 i then had the privilege of a sweaty miles kane leaning over me to high five the people behind me, and i held his hand and - yeah. it was all so truly surreal that i might think i'd imagined it if it wasn't for the fact i can literally see the moment in this video 😭

i was there with @perfectly-clear-from-here and we were both just utterly ECSTATIC after the show, it was amazing getting to share the sheer giddy joy of all that with one of the loveliest humans i know 💜

and then of course (as if all of that wasn't already enough to make it the most wonderful night), we MET MILES after the show 😭😭 i've already rambled about that here so i won't do it again, but - yeah. let's just say he truly is the most wonderful person with the loveliest energy, and he is so easy to be around 🥹

the last six months or so have not been easy ones for me, and this felt like the most wonderful break in the clouds that just - idk. really restored me to myself. it was so special to get to experience live so many of the amazing songs that have got me through and been such a comfort in the difficult times, and i am just so endlessly grateful to miles for his courage in creating and sharing all that he shares 💗

**please do not repost my photos without permission**

[inkedtae]

ᥫ᭡bee's tumblr wrapped (2024)ᥫ᭡

it took me embarrassingly long to make this banner.... anyway a special thanks to dia ( @yoonia ) for tagging me to do this ! i didn't do much writing this year but i wanna do this so imma do it lol

this year kinda fucked me sideways multiple times. it took months of therapy and lots of courage to sit myself down and reconnect with not only my writing, but myself. i have been feeling so lost but diving back into passions like writing has given me the confidence i needed to find my direction again. i still have no idea where i am supposed to be or what i am meant to do. but, right now, it feels like at least i know which way i am going, and that's forward.

thank you so much to everyone who has continued to read, comment, reblog, like, and interact with me and my work. i don't think i deserve any of it and it's incredibly surreal that i still got asks about my fics and series. i can't believe that a lot of these fics were not only read once, but twice. like that's fucking insane to me. so thank you so much. and thank you to everyone behind the scene who has supported me from banners to reading things over. jen ( @anobodyslove ) is the most wonderful, sweet, beautiful person i have ever had the pleasure of connecting with. from late night editing to long walks talking about every and any thing, you are my favourite human and i love you!

okay, okay, enough sappiness!! let's dive in!

₊˚✧ OVERALL STATS ✧˚₊‧

: ̗̀➛ fics published: 9 : ̗̀➛ series completed: 1 : ̗̀➛ series ongoing: 4 : ̗̀➛ words written: 122,258 : ̗̀➛ fics to be published: 24 (i don't wanna talk about it...)

‎‧₊˚✧ FIRST FIC OF 2024 | published : february 17 ✧˚₊‧

: ̗̀➛ xi. rotten angelcake ⇾ kth. | s2l, ceo au, sugar daddy au | 16.5k

retrospection: ahh my first attempt at returning to tumblr after a long unplanned hiatus. if you were ever curious on what kind of headspace i was in, this fic is the perfect explanation. the rotten angelcake series has been my form of self-indulgence and journaling since the very first chapter. however, i completely threw myself into this chapter of the series. all my anger, frustration, regret, confusion, sadness was poured into this chapter. it's so emotionally charged and personal, i almost didn't post it. i haven't even looked at it again before this moment and that was just to retrieve the link lol it's just carrying a very dark part of my life that i have been trying to pull myself out of. but, while it does hold so much for me, i do not regret writing or publishing it. it's all part of the self-healing process ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

‎‧₊˚✧ LONGEST FIC OF 2024 | published : october 3 ✧˚₊‧

: ̗̀➛ the underground ⇾ bgc. | strangers to lovers, boxer au, dark themes | 29.1 k |

retrospection: oof this fic! so i wrote this for channie's b-day and one of my favourite chantober rituals, especially for his b-day, is to write the most unhinged, dark story. i have never been able to get the idea of boxer, mafia boss!chan ruining me in front of his friends out of my head, so i wrote about it. i lowkey wish i could make it a series or add an epilogue but i vowed to finish my ongoing series first before starting another one. it's just such a fun fic with a lot of grittiness. i don't think the nearly 30k words was enough either tbh but it will have to do for now ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

‎‧₊˚✧ PERSONAL FAVOURITE FIC OF 2024 | published : october 17 ✧˚₊‧

: ̗̀➛ between roar and whisper ⇾ bgc. | hogwarts au, pwp, e2l | 9.4k |

retrospection: this was probably the easiest to write because there was very little worldbuilding required and i got to focus on the sexual tension between these two "enemies". it was short, sweet, to the point, and the smut was so fucking hot—ugh! i need slytherin!chan to make me cockdumb too! i don't think i will ever be over this fic and i kinda wanna write an epilogue for it too but i will stop myself because i am already overcommitted ˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆｡☆

‎‧₊˚✧ LAST FIC OF 2024 | published : december 31 ✧˚₊‧

: ̗̀➛ marked by krampus ⇾ kth. | twisted christmas au, monster kink, s2l | 11.1k |

retrospection: okay i just finished this fic yesterday so i don't know how much real introspection i can truly muster but i will do my best. as the last fic of taecember, as well as the year, i decided to indulge in my very big, very embarrassing monster kink. i was kind of focused on that which meant that the worldbuilding for this fic was not my best. i could have done better...anyway! this may be the final fic for 2024 but it will not be the final monster au i write ᡣ • . • 𐭩 ♡

‎‧₊˚✧ HONOURABLE MENTION | published : november 1 ✧˚₊‧

: ̗̀➛ elixir of the damned ⇾ bgc. | vampire au, s2l | 19.5k |

retrospection: this fic was written as the last fic of chantober, but it had been in my drafts for about two years. now i obviously do not know bang chan in real life, but he seems to wear his heart on his sleeve and is very forthcoming about his struggles on camera. so this fic was heavily inspired but the sentiments of sadness and wistfulness, about missing his family in australia. i remembered this v-live where he was back home and he was doing his chan's room (which omg i miss so much) in his old room. and the room had become his little brothers. and i just couldn't stop thinking about what that must feel like. just imagine walking back into a familiar room and it looks the same, like the layout is exactly how you left it, but all the stuff in there does not belong to you. how uncanny must that have felt? to tiptoe around a room that was once yours? idk it just inspired his character in this fic and i hope that i was able to capture that well enough ૮₍´˶• . • ⑅ ₎ა

‧₊˚✧ SPECIAL EVENTS OF 2024 | published : november 1 ✧˚₊‧

: ̗̀➛ chantober 2024 & taecember 2024

retrospection: god, i love bias months so much—even though they wreck me by the end. being able to fully express my love and devotion to my biases just makes me feel so full and happy. it's like even if my day might be shitty, it's okay because i have something to work towards and look forward to. i also have the chance to celebrate both chan, and taehyung with you, which is always so exciting and fun! i literally cannot wait to do it all over again in 2025 ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

‧₊˚✧ TOP TRACKS OF 2024 ✧˚₊‧

𐙚 hurt — newjeans 𐙚 espresso — sabrina carpenter 𐙚 i like it — stray kids 𐙚 red lights (bang chan, hyunjin) — stray kids 𐙚 venus fly trap — marina 𐙚 work — ateez 𐙚 perfect night — le sserafim 𐙚 chk chk boom — stray kids 𐙚 mon amour — gemini 𐙚 na — hwasa

‧₊˚✧ GOALS FOR 2025 ✧˚₊‧

𐙚 stick to my posting schedule !! (writing two fics a month) 𐙚 properly plan ahead for bias months (i'm literally the worst at this) 𐙚 finish the rotten angelcake series 𐙚 breathe... (sometimes i forget that i just need to take a minute and breathe)

many thanks again to dia for tagging me, this was really fun ♡︎ i wanna tag jen ( @anobodyslove ) , dee (@awrkives ) , ghost ( @ghxstwrites ) , lixie ( @bunnliix ) , minerva ( @yourlocaljonghoe ) , and stardust ( @skzdust ). there's no pressure to do this !!

♡¸.•' happy new year lovelies '•.¸♡

[stillchuunya]

Rite Here Rite Now thoughts and reactions (spoilers below)

The performance:

-> Twenties live?? The dancers? loved them! I waited to hear Twenties Live like crazy! I do wish we could hear Swiss louder with the whispers...

-> I need that acoustic rendition of If You hHave Ghosts... the ghoulettes were amazing

-> I refuse to believe that Tutti Frutti nailed that one jump towards the end of the performance, what the heck?!

-> The searchlights in the Watcher in the Sky!

-> the use of lights to accentuate Satan's names! YES! It felt so right, it felt so cool, I loved that! Satanic imagery whenever his name was mentioned? YESSS They play fewer and fewer songs from the early albums so I wish they make some new songs that just go LU-CI-FEEER

-> The ghouls looked so good! But there was so little of Swiss :( I wanted to see him go crazy and move those hips. I caught a glimpse of him once or twice but I believe they never focused on him for long enough to let him shine. It's a pity because I love watching him!

-> I thought there would be a long scene of us getting ciriced but it was just a few moments? still cool, just a bit short

-> People are saying that the skeletons were actually people with body paint, and I fully believed that it was a body suit :0 I noticed their breasts looked good but??? how did I miss this (I do have an eyesight problem but I thought it wasn't that bad haha)

The rest:

-> the sass between Nihil and Seestor was so good? Loved seeing their interactions

-> They EMBRACED the 'Scooby Doom', the 'Scooby Doo Chase Music' allegations, the MOAC animation was surreal as heck. Tobias saw our jokes and said 'hold my communion wine and watch this'

-> We got an exclusive footage of a Papa Sock, do not confuse with the DeFroque Soq. We saw the Obscene Annointed Foot.

-> Papa literally dissociates backstage :')

-> The twins? Seestor having twins?? There were two kiddos frollicking on a field loool and I always thought that Copia felt like he had a sibling or a twin but I thought it was just a crack theory!

-> I want Ashley's job

-> The twins played by Toblerone's kids are dead apparently and I doubt it will ever be explained xD

-> There was only one fart joke and I anticipated like 3 at least

->I remember seeing this meme

and let me tell you it's 100% true he does not, it's just for comedic effect and I love it, people got high fives from him and I was so jealous

-> the balloon part was so confusing and funny and the way he was actually faceplanted on the floor the whole time broke me

-> I made a joke about how maybe they'll get rid of Seestor due to all the issues they had with her actresses but there she is, transparent and glowing. they can't explain further changes with plastic surgery anymore lol

-> Copia in a position of actual power? HUH

-> He has his Cardinal makeup back!! We went to the movie wearing this exact pattern and we were so happy to see it on screen <3 And his whole new outfit is lit, I am forever in love with his Cardinal Era clothes so this one was a Treat

-> Copia was babied so much in this movie and it was just what I needed for my soul, do not @ me

-> The pentagram below Nihil and Seestor gives me hope for a certain theory the fandom likes a lot?? why was it there

-> New song good!!!

-> also, Nihil's speech seems to be a homage to all the dead performers we know and love, especially the ones Tobias looks up to and gets inspiration from and I could feel his sadness in that speech, ok. I think he wishes to be able to entertain people after his own death just like them, he wants people to play Ghost in 50 years when he's most likely dead and feel their taints tickled. I am tearing up. Life is scary and sad but I have ghosts, right?

Overall it was a very sweet and gentle way to ease the fandom into the next stage and a new Papa, which we have been opposing vehemently for the past year or so. Tobias is a softie and knows his fandom better than I expected, tbh.

[trickstersaint]

hey, i just finished playing aromanticism, and it made me feel a lot better about my circumstances lately. ive come to terms with my aromanticism for a long, long time now (Almost 10 years!), but as ive gotten older, it feels like people keep their distance from me- and it's been really hurtful. i found a lot of peace, suddenly, reading aromanticism. i think im gonna carry that metaphor with me forever now lol, having a still heart. i feel a profound sense of pride about it. 1/

hello!!!! first of all, i'm so so glad to hear that it was so positive for you. it makes me so happy to know that there are other aro people reading that project and finding hope and pride and value in it: that's more than i could have ever hoped for when sharing it, truly :)

one thing i think about a lot with aromanticism is that sense of pride. it seems.... strange, maybe, but i think that it's something that can and does coexist with that sense of hurt. just like any queer identity, the world around us might not show us any care, but just like any queer identity, our decision to find pride and joy in our existence is one that is motivated from the inside. queer pride has never been something that was handed to us by other people, but on the flip side, it's always been something that you can fight to have and to keep :)

as for what emotion inspired me to make the poem: i do NOT want to say love here because that's not really what it is (<— guy who is only ever like a few really in-depth tumblr posts away from id'ing as loveless). but in the way that i say "i love being aro". that kind of love. the joy and pride and contentment that i feel with being aromantic, and the spite that often fuels it, the rush of defying the expectation that i be miserable or that i hate the way that i am. love is not important to me. but what is important is holding myself gently against a world that isn't kind to me, you know? aromanticism is a light that i cup in my hands up close to my chest and it's something that brings me a sense of warmth and peace.

i said this in a reblog somewhere in the notes of the original post, but i originally wrote this for a creative writing class where i assumed most people would never have even heard of aromanticism. personally, i am deeply, deeply protective of that little light; and while there are negative aspects of any life experience to talk about, i did NOT want to hand over something to non-aro people that would reinforce the idea that being aromantic is something that leaves a person unhappy. you can be upset about it. you can be afraid about it. but still, but still, you will find a way through. it's not something that dooms you. it's something you can grow to embrace. originally, there was a version where the doctor was not always kind to you; knowing that it would be read through by allo people, though, i didn't think that they should get to say, indirectly or not, that my experience—aro people's experience—was an unhappy one. i didn't think that was a choice they got to make, in real life or in fiction. and when i handed it to aro people it got to be a wonderful, beautiful moment where every path took them back to a confirmation of validity and pride and joy.

there's an ending that you can only see by going through all of the choices completely confident in your still heart, and i fully expected when i wrote this that nobody but myself would see it. it remains such a joy to see mentions of it in the notes of the original post. it can be hard for me to cry but man i get fucking close...

i hope i answered everything! if you do make something similar with twine i would love love love to see it :) i highly encourage anyone wanting to make something similar to go experiment with the program, it's free and it's pretty easy to get the hang of. if you'd like to see the twine game that inspired me to make aromanticism, i would be so excited to direct you to with those we love alive, which is a beautiful, surreal, fantastically creative piece that i highly recommend you read. adore you anon and i hope aromanticism (the piece and the concept) can be a joy for you for years and years to come 🖤

[turtleofdamascus]

In praise of the non-canon moments in sab2 and my ratings:

Just want to appreciate these moments the writers added cuz idk I feel like they do understand the characters. It’s like watching fanfic. Hot take: I sometimes like them so much more or just as much as the canon scenes taking place.

kanej chapel scene in s1

iconic. One of the best non-canon things they added to show Inej's first kill. And it be for Kaz. AHH and in a chapel. The symbolism. The emotion. And of course the delivery of Kaz saying "Look at me" while leaning in but not touching. 10000/10

Nina and Kaz fake couple scene

I'm dying I cannot with this scene. This is perfect. I always wanted a fake dating scene in the books. And this was perf. "He's all hands" and Kaz's face looking slightly terrified and horrified. Also ahhh him having to take off his gloves to do the tea ritual. I gasped. It was so surreal. And then Inej watching tear tear. 9000/10

Kaz panicking at tea time

I gasped when I saw this. I think this was insane. Cuz in the books, all we get that is similar is the... prison carriage scene. But this- this seems even more exposed. Kaz panicking and then putting his hand down and then, Nina putting her hand on him and Kaz looking terrified then running through the streets and then Inej carrying him and... then him curled up holding his cane without his gloves and Inej being there to give his gloves and witnessing it. Ahhh like first of all, looks like a nightmare for kaz but dang idk if we get such a scene capturing the vulnerability of kaz ahh. The writers knew exactly how to torture him. It's so crazy bc Freddy can play him with nerves of steel but then in a puddle of fear and I'm in awe. The shaking and the curling up in the corner. I'm in tears. 10000!/10

Wylan monologue on butterflies

This was hilarious and very Wylan. So nerdy. 900/10

- feeding the team butterflies… ummm

I don't know if this brought me out of the show, bc it was so bizarre. But ahhh Inej on top of kaz trying feed him a butterfly while he's having a nightmare was just-- ahhh most strange situation I could think of but also ahhh the angst. I was screaming no don’t touch kazzz. I guess the scene was another excuse to torture Kaz and I ate it up. AHHH the fact the only inej could help him. 900/10

-the Jesper and wylan piano tuning

Also such a random scene but I loved it so much. Lol the fact that wylan pretends they're piano tuners bahaha. And then he congratulates Alby's playing and then proceeds to show off. Such a fun scene. 9000/10

Jesper being in prison carriage scene

Screaming crying and throwing up. when i saw this in the first episode. I gasped and in the first 5 minutes AHH. What. Idk i kinda loved that jesper was there. There's so much trust in their relationship and seeing kaz struggle right in front of jesper was so painful. Ahh him gasping for breath and trying to hide it. Is heartbreaking. And then Jesper being like "boss", and then "kaz" and his eyes being so concerned for his friend and calling for help. I cry. 10000/10

Hallucination scene

Once again performed beautifully. The stares. The "May I" and then gently pressing Inej to him. The hand on the cheek. And Inej giving him the intent stare. The soft kiss. UMM. I don't like that it's a hallucination. But i do find it fascinating to compare the "I want you" of this and the actual "I want you". THEY are BOTH delivered similarly. So in some ways,,,, I see this as a look into a future. Not unrealistic. If we never got a "real" I want you. I would be angrier. so for that it gets points back. WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE A KANEJ KISS> 9000/10

Also some thoughts on canon moments brought to life perfectly:

Kanej "I want you" church scene

“You,Inej, you…. To die buried underneath” Kaz never said it but ahh his eyes looking so ... distant and his lips forming the words and then the delivery of the "To die buried..." with his eyes rolling upward. Perfect. Perfectly delivered. AHHH. Freddy understands Kaz.

"I want you" - Idk how freddy can go from being the most monstrous looking person to turning his eyes into these round boyish eyes. So... open and round. And ahh you can see Kaz trying... so hard to show he's giving his all. And then when he takes his gloves away and you can see his shuddering breath. Ahh

"Gloves on" delivered so sadly and brutally. Amita's eyes so... yearning but letting him down. Ahh felt like a breakup. Almost made me wish they cut the line. Because the show!kaz was trying to hard. I kind of wish in some way they didn't say this canon line lol. I want Inej to see he's trying.

And then when Inej leaves... and we are left looking at Kaz. His eyes watering. And looking so heartbroken. Stab me.

This was delivered perfectly. I-chef’s kiss.

The Dregs fight

Ahh the fight was amazing and stunning with the speed ramping. And kaz using his cane to lift a chair and slamming his cane into people faces. Chef's kiss. Freddy giving his all. THIS IS BRUTAL KAZ I NEEDED. YESSS feral kaz. How did i deserve this 100000/10

Pekka Rollins revenge scene

UMM... Freddy/Kaz gave it his all. And I bow before him like Pekka. AHHHH. The glares. The delivery of every line from the books UMM. Praise. "Buried." "Six feet deep" . Also seeing Kaz getting beat up was so painful but ahhh performed so well. The framing of the shot where Pekka bows before him... and it's silent almost. It looks like a painting. I'm stunned. Also the delivery of the line "quitclaim for inej ghafa" AHHH. Ahh idk... the protectiveness. 10000000/10. AMazing showstopping. I can't believe they plucked it from the books.

[skippingthroughfields]

watched boiling point and not to compare (I say as I'm about to) but it's like the #grown version of the bear. not that the bear doesn't tackle real issues but boiling point does a better job at giving you a gut punch when it comes to its characters' lives. the bear has a certain fairytale element to it and none of the issues (most of) the characters face ever feels... pressing? they find magic tomato money, they passed the suppression test, the soft-opening was successful even with the drama and carmy being locked in the walk-in, uncle jimmy never feels threatening enough and as it turns out he loves them too much to tell them how much money they're burning in season 3. the faks' existence. lol. there's a lot of similarities between both shows, alcoholism, suicide, abuse, the whole lot. but it just feels a lot more raw on boiling point.

the surrealism in the bear was very much a purposeful thing, at least in season 1. it was an incredibly well-crafted season. but I think it's clear all the accolades and attention has led to mediocre follow-up seasons. the real life chefs talking about their experiences at the end of season 3 was one of many moments that had me scratching my head. like why should we give a fuck about these people? the show became popular because of the characters and the story, not these randos. even the trailer for season 4 almost seems like a fever dream. why is syd meeting donna? my dislike for jamie lee curtis aside, donna has overstayed her welcome narratively. her showing up in season 2 was pushing it, especially the moment she had with pete outside the restaurant. her season 3 appearance was even more egregious. rando real life chefs, celeb cameos, the faks, donna... the plot has been lost.

[mabelstone]

Nympho

matt stone x reader

part five of provocateur <3

part four | masterlist

word count: 3.5k

CW: this is a fucking rollercoaster lol. warning: sex (but not too much sorry), mentions of nausea

***

I'd never seen anything like it. Even the airport in Dubai was something out of a movie, and that didn’t even come close to the beautiful city and the penthouse suite Trey had booked for us. I couldn’t even find the words, my mind struggling to keep up with what I was seeing. I’m sure I looked like a cartoon with wide, sparkling eyes with hearts shooting from them.

“Whadd’ya think?” He grinned from beside me, wheeling both of our suitcases to the walk-in wardrobe while I stared out the window, completely awestruck.

“It’s beautiful,” my assessment was beyond an understatement, the term not even coming close to the acclaim it deserved.

“And it’s all for you,” he announced, rolling up the cuffs on his dress shirt before popping open a bottle of champagne.

“Not for work?” I raised an eyebrow at him through a grin, striding across the sparkling marble tile to where he stood at the big, glossy, stone dining table.

“That? Oh, no. Work was just an excuse to get you here," he joked, pouring a glass for each of us.

“Well, that’s gotta be the worlds most expensive excuse ever," I started, cheersing glasses with him. "You know, you've already got me wrapped around your finger. I don't need anything fancy."

"I know," he smiled, slipping his big hand around my waist. "It is nice though, isn't it."

"This may be the best night of my life," I joked, though this was one of the most surreal moments for me. I'd never left the US in my whole 26 years of life.

“Oh, this is nothin'," he blew a raspberry through his lips, pulling my front into his by the small of my back. "You be a good girl, I'll give you so much more. This is just the beginning."

Holy fuckin' shit. This is a new side to Trey that is absolutely welcomed.

"But I am a good girl," I fluttered my eyelashes at him through a grin, letting out a squeal of surprise when he picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. We skulled the rest of our glasses before he was throwing my down onto the bed, attacking my neck and chest with hot kisses, while I giggled with my fingers tangled in his hair.

You can imagine how the rest went.

In the morning I woke to sun bleeding through the curtains, bathing the suite in a warm golden glow. Our limbs tangled in the soft cotton sheets, Trey's big arm wrapped around me as I feel the rise and fall of his chest with each breath. The epitome of serenity.

Half asleep, he turned his head to me, groggily opening his eyes.

"Good morning," his voice was thick with sleep, kissing my forehead as I glowed on the inside.

Matt POV

I woke with a splitting headache and some inconvenient warmth spread across my lower half.

A leg. A leg that belongs to some random chick I picked up from the Little Red Door, the same place Y/N and I had our first kiss. Fuck her. I scrubbed a hand over my face, trying to wipe any trace of her from my brain and instead use my few remaining braincells to plan a way to get this broad out of my bed. And out of my house, for that matter.

I can't even remember how I got here. The last thing I remember was doing shots with my boss after celebrating his divorce. The whole night was just so messy. All I know is that if I sit up too quick, I'm going to blow chunks all over my duvet and I don't want that. But... it would be the perfect way to get rid of the blonde mess beside me.

Then by some dumb strike of luck, she stirred awake, smudged eyeliner around her icy blue eyes like a cyborg panda hybrid blinking up at me. "Mmmm, good morning, Mr. Journalist," she groaned as she stretched, taking up too much of the bed for my liking.

"Hey... So, I've got work," I pushed through the nausea and climbed out of bed, stumbling around to pick up her clothes for her, tossing them at her feet. "I'm happy to call you an Uber?"

She paused for a moment, looking at me like I'd punched her in the face. "Wow," was all she said, shaking her head before peeling herself from the sheets, fully nude with no shame. "You're a total dick."

"I know," I sighed, though I felt no remorse. I was just happy she was so willing to leave. I've had a few run ins before where I've almost had to drag them out the door kicking and screaming.

"How's this for a headliner? 'Surprise! Douche bag journalist is a fuckwit.' Oh! Or, 'sleazy wannabe writer is really bad in bed'," She panted out while shimmying into her clothes, face red from anger, yet somehow, simultaneously paper pale from her hangover.

"You done?" I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. I didn't have my contacts in, I could barely even see her. For the best.

"Are you going to write about this?" She taunted, seeing herself to the door.

Why would I waste anybody's time writing about some random bimbo nobody knows? "Wouldn't dream of it," I smiled tightly, obviously very fake, making sure to lock the door she slammed behind her. She yelled something at me from the front, but I didn't hear, nor did I care to know what she had to say.

Instead I stripped all my sheets and threw them straight into the washing machine, then threw myself into a near boiling shower and scrubbed off any evidence of the night before. So. Much. Glitter. Maybe I picked her up later in the night after the Little Red Door?

I am never drinking again.

Y/N POV

Trey makes me feel like a giddy teenager every time I'm with him. He ordered us breakfast in bed and we made... whatever is between sex and making love. I feel like those terms are not synonymous. I may have nearly called him Matt, but quickly saved it with, "Ma- my God, Trey." He didn't seem to notice.

We quickly jumped in the shower and got ready for his corporate lunch - the whole reason I'm here. I don't really understand, but who am I to argue with a good thing?

He looked absolutely delicious, dark grey suit with a matching tie, a crisp white button up for contrast. I wore a similar coloured dress that was maybe a bit too booby for this event, but conservatively reached my knees, so surely it cancels out. I kept a sheer Burberry cardigan slung over my arm in case the venue was chilly - compliments of Trey.

"Beautiful," he grinned, shoving his keys and wallet into his pockets. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," I nodded with a wide smile, one that I couldn't seem to wipe from my face the whole time.

We got a ride to the venue in a Cadillac Escalade, and for some reason, that was the first time I wondered just how rich this dude was. I made small talk with his driver, while Trey was stuck into his phone the whole drive.

"You have arrived," the driver spoke with a thick Polish accent, pulling up out the front of a massive stone building with the biggest water fountain I'd ever seen.

"Thank you," I smiled at him, stepping out in awe. This place just can't be real.

Trey led me into the main hall where there were at least fifteen round tables draped in lace cloth, red napkins to offset the harsh white.

"Trey," a heavy set man approached us with his hand out, giving him a real firm handshake that screamed 'I'm important'.

"Mr. Todd," he nodded with a tight smile.

"And who might this lovely lady be? A daughter we didn't know about?" The tall man, Mr. Todd I presume, took one of my hands into his.

"Let's hope not," I joked, then soon realised that mightn't be appropriate given the scenario. "Y/N, lovely to meet you, Mr. Todd."

"Please, you pretty ones get to call me Jason," he corrected me, kissing my knuckles. "The pleasure is all mine."

We moved through the room as we greeted Trey's colleagues, all looking very important and expensive. The women were all presumed partners of the colleagues and looked at least 20 years older than me. And at least 20 times more glamourous. I'm sure I stood out like a sore thumb, and it really had me wondering how many people actually thought I was Trey's daughter.

After what felt like an eternity of me awkwardly hovering between Trey and his colleagues, we were finally seated. I was starting to feel a bit left out, like some background noise that's slightly inconvenient.

The food came fast, thankfully; perfectly cooked chicken drowning in some sauce I couldn't quite pronounce. I listened in on the chatter, the occasional wife speaking to me over the table. I think they could sense my unease.

"So, Trey," another man in an expensive looking pressed suit put his hand to his mouth, deciding mid bite was the perfect time to speak. Quite the etiquette. "How are the kids?"

I nearly choked on what was in my mouth. Trey turned bright red. He seemed to nearly choke too, sputtering as he was caught off guard.

"Oh, yeah!" The mans' partner spoke up, pointing to Trey with her fork and wide eyes. "I heard May just started first grade. Are you and Lillian on speaking terms again?"

I felt instantly nauseated, smothered by an uncomfortable heat that rushed from my head to my toes.

"Uh, yeah," he cleared his throat, avoiding eye contact with me. "They're all good." All?

"And your precious baby boy," she continued, swooning in her seat just to rub a bit more salt in the wound. "He's what, three months now? Do you see him much?"

"That's rude to ask," her husband clicked his tongue at her, shaking his head disapprovingly.

"That's not rude, honey!" She rolled her eyes, swatting his arm with her napkin. "You guys settled 50/50, didn't you, darling?"

"Yeah, I get 'em every weekend," Trey's voice was hushed as he admitted this, eyes boring into his untouched food.

I abruptly stood up, noisily pushing my chair out from under me. "Excuse me," I smiled as politely as I could, but I'm sure my face was as pale as snow and I was being anything but polite.

I headed straight for the exit, not sure what my game plan was. I don't speak any Arabic, but I'm sure I could find someone who speaks English. How hard could it be to signal for a cab?

The sick, hot feeling wouldn't leave, even as the most beautiful breeze embraced me. How could he lie to me?

"Y/N," Trey came rushing outside like a cliché movie scene. "I can explain." Uncanny how much this felt like a movie.

"I don't have kids, haven't got time for them," I reiterated what he'd told me many times.

"I thought it'd put you off," he sighed, reaching for my hand, but I dramatically jerked away from him.

"Put me off more than being lied to?" I scoffed incredulously, wondering how the fuck I ended up here. "The fact you lied is bad enough, but you've practically got a newborn! What the fuck?"

"I know, I'm sorry," he sighed again, running a hand through his sparse hair. "How can I make it up to you?"

"I want to go home." I crossed my arms over my chest, unable to look him in the eyes.

"Seriously?" He furrowed his brow, palms thrown up in front of him. "You're the textbook definition of a nymphomaniac, and you're upset that I have kids?"

"Let me go home." My tone was stern this time, trying to seem composed when really I was seconds off bursting into tears.

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath, calling his driver to collect me.

Next thing I knew, I was on a plane back home, red faced and angry, no doubt annoying everyone around me with my constant sniffling. Trey booked me an economy flight back home, and left me with enough money to get absolutely wasted on the plane. So I did without a second thought, polishing off two bottles of wine in no time. I would've had more if the air hostess didn't cut me off. I'm not sure the wine was helping my situation, but it didn't matter. I watched Pretty Woman, then the Notebook, then Forrest Gump, then cried my eyes out, and eventually fell asleep.

"...and on behalf of the crew bringing you to beautiful Manhattan, it is my pleasure to say, welcome home." I woke up to the announcement that we'd arrived, and groggily rested my head against the cold window as I watched the plane roll onto the tarmac.

Fuck, Trey drove me here.

I could get an Uber.

Or...

"Hello?" Matt answered groggily, sounding both confused and as if he'd just woken from a coma.

"It's 6pm, why were you sleeping?"

"Big night," he groaned, sounding inconvenienced. "What do you want?"

"Can you please... pick me up?" I suddenly felt very self conscious. The worst he could say is no, right?

"From Dubai?" He chuckled, and I could hear some shuffling from his line.

"No... JFK Airport." Here it comes, I thought. Laugh at me. Tell me 'I told you so' like the dick you are. Or, 'I last longer in bed than you did on that trip.'

"Oh," he sounded surprised. A big pause. "I'll be there in 40." Then the line went dead.

While I waited (and wallowed in self pity) I dawdled around the stores, opting to buy Matt a blueberry danish as my pathetic version of a thank you. I know how much he loves them.

He rocked up pretty much exactly 40 minutes later, handsome as ever in his stupid Mercedes. He reached over the passenger to open my door for me, immediately looking confused.

"All you have is a little paper bag," he noted, brows furrowed as he scanned me. "What, your bags get held up at customs? Is that why you're back? Trafficking drugs or something?"

"No, dick," I smiled for the first time in 15 hours, thrusting the danish into his hands. "My stuff is still in Dubai," I mumbled self consciously, throwing myself into the heated leather seat.

"So... where's Daddy Warbucks?" He grinned that stupid cocky grin that always struggled to read the room.

I pursed my lips, tilting my head to him, puffy, watery eyes on full display now.

"Oh... shit, I'm sorry, kid," he frowned, awkwardly patting my shoulder. "What happened?"

"He lied to me a bunch," I laughed dryly, running a hand over my face. "You were right. Total douche. Has, I don't even know how many kids. Made me look stupid in front of all these rich people."

"Is that why you're dressed like the First Lady?"

I tried to be angry but I couldn't, ugly laughing at his stupid (but accurate) joke.

"Mhm. He called me a nympho and everything," I rolled my eyes, that hadn't stopped stinging once. "Like, seriously, what kind of man would complain about that?"

"Yeah, seriously," he shook his head in disagreement. "It's literally my favourite thing about you."

"Can we just go home?" I rubbed my eyes. I then realised what I'd said, and that home wasn't the same place for us both. "Ah, sorry, my home."

"Aw, you wanna come home with me!" He joked, grabbing my knee. For a split second, I swear a fire ignited inside of me at his touch. "I'll take better care of you than Daddy Warbucks did, Annie."

"Oh my God, I forgot that you fucked Annie!" I laughed again, covering my mouth with my hands at his accidental double entendre.

"Come on, dude, you know I meant Annie the orphan," he sighed, face bright red as he pulled onto the street. "Don't ruin a nice thing."

When we got back to his, he ordered Chinese takeout and we sat on his sheet-less bed with the tv turned off. He was more interested in my failed trip.

"What, in front of everyone?" He paused in shock, chopsticks frozen mid air, just inches from his mouth.

"Yup," I sighed, glad that his reaction made me feel reassured. "Ah, well. I don't want to be a step mother."

"Yeah, fuck that," he shook his head taking a big swig of his beer. "And fuck that dude. Fuckin' asshole."

"Well, it lead me right to you," I grinned, noting the way his cheeks pinkened, despite his little murmured, idiot.

"Wanna get drunk?" He suggested, and how could I say no? Especially when I knew where it would land me - right underneath him.

We threw back shots, seeing who could keep a straighter face. I lost, miserably. Then we somehow ended up on the couch with my legs in his lap. And then as our speech began to slur and slow completely, my brain struggled to keep up with my mouth, and before I knew it, I was confessing, "this is like, your fault, dude."

"What's my fault?" He raised his eyebrows, toying with the hem of his shirt I was wearing.

"You always had me confused when we'd hook up," I blabbered on, not even processing what I was saying. "If things were more set in stone, I wouldn't have went out with Trey. Hah... set in stone. Get it?" I giggled, missing the way his expression hardened.

"What do you mean set in stone?"

"I dunno," I shrugged, lazily letting my head roll over the armrest of the couch. "I liked you. More than just a fuck."

"You cut things off with me?" He spoke pointedly, his arms now folded. "That's a bit unfair to say."

"What?" I picked my head up to face him, the room spinning around me. "I literally asked you if you'd be with me and you went, 'uh- um- uhh-' like a moron."

"Yeah, after you started seeing someone else." He was combative now. Awesome. Just shut the fuck up, girl. This won't end well.

"Yeah, but you didn't know that."

"I could see the Tinder notifications on your phone," he rolled his eyes, pushing my legs off him gently. "You're not the most discrete person."

"Whatever, I don't wanna talk about this."

"You brought it up!" He groaned emphatically, scrubbing a hand over his stubble. "If you don't wanna talk about this, why fucking say anything?"

"Jeez, can you relax," now it was my turn to harden my expression. "Stop acting like you care. You just wanted sex. Like everyone else."

"Why do you ruin everything?" He scoffed, climbing off the couch with a huff. "Maybe if you started respecting yourself, you'd realise you have a lot more going for you than your body."

I froze then. "What, you had a little crush on me?"

"Wasn't little," he shook his head, pouring himself another hefty shot. "And see? You undermine everything. That's why we wouldn't work. That's why I never set anything in stone, as you put it."

"Matt, I didn't know," I followed him to the kitchen, instantly sober. "I'm sorry, I thought you weren't interested. Like that."

He didn't speak, just stared right through me.

Wordlessly, I stepped forward and took his face in my hands, pulling him close enough that I could see each pore, each beautiful freckle, each little sign of his ageing that was almost invisible to the naked eye.

I kissed him differently than I'd grown accustomed to. No, this was like our first kiss at the Little Red Door. I was gentle, ghostlike over his lips, breathing him in. He took a moment, but then he grabbed my face back, kissing me with all the force of a single feather. He was warm, and he smelt good, and God I hate to admit it, but I actually missed him.

We moved synchronously, gentle and tender, our feet sweeping us away into his bedroom. But this time, I had the suspicion that it wouldn't be our regular type of sex.

And I was right.

Lips connected the whole time, we stripped off our clothes, tenderly touching one another as if we were memorising every shape and curve. He slipped himself inside of me with ease, both of us exhaling sharply through our noses.

We moved slowly together, my arms strewn over his shoulders as he skilfully rolled his hips against mine, warm fingers digging into the soft parts of my body. We exchanged breaths and pants, only disconnecting our lips to deliver praise. There was passion without all the aggression, sweat and cursing that came with it. Just pure desire.

I think we definitely still like each other.

Was this love making?

maybe one more chapter?

[edgarbright]

Ikevil Wrapped in Wicked Romance story event route with the premium ending + epilogue for Alfons…

Unpopular opinion but I admit I loved it

The content warning is very real! If you don't like, don't read, just put it on auto if you want the blouse/event completion lol But the cw only made me more curious about him and the route did not disappoint in showing how twisted and spicy and wonderfully villainous Alfons's ability can be! Like William's ability will make you take the knife to cut your throat with your heart bursting out of your chest and your skin turned to ice. Alfons's ability, meanwhile, will have you willingly take the object in his hand and go where he leads with a smile on your face and joy in your heart.

While Alfons's ability can take away your perception of reality, I liked how he never used it to make anyone, least of all the MC, feel bad.

And I did like how unapoletically he was about what he did, especially since, in his own twisted way, he was creating this route's illusion for the MC's sake.

Some may remember way back when Ikevamp Arthur's main route dropped and I seethed over what happened in like chapter 4. Arthur's pseudo-sexual assault intended to punish and scare the MC for getting involved in a house of vampires. Ikevil's MC is an actual hostage at Crown where she needs to prove her loyalty or lose her life. Alfons could easily have fallen into a similar Arthur-like trap of treating MC like a fly caught in a spider's web, and punishing her for putting her nose in the wrong place.

But he didn't!!!

MC was traumatized from walking in on the prologue murder, and to follow Alfons for the day meant she would be forced to face even more bloodshed because that's what Crown does! But MC (and me as the reader whoops) weren't thinking about that part; we were thinking about the silly pretend lover mission part. So it was simultaneously shocking yet hilarious how quick Alfons was to enchant MC into thinking he was her lover. Like that man did not miss a beat in going from enchanting her to convincing her to getting that first kiss. I can't even be mad because he is supposed to be a villain, so go ahead and have the kiss, sir...!

The rest of the story is written so well in a surreal kind of way. I think I'm just very into this veneer of sweet and soft with the sense of danger lurking underneath. Even when we get the meat of the dubcon, it felt dark but like in a fairy/spirited away kind of dark.

And I think this route and that content warning worked because of the MC. Her observations, her internal dialogue, her internal conflicts, her anger, her desire--they held the spotlight even while Alfons led most of the way.

The question now is which event route to pick next? I've completed two premium routes (Alfons and Ellis) and I should be able to do one more route (I've estimated four premium routes are just out of reach at around 43.7k unless I want to spend). I'm not that interested in Victor or Harrison, tbh (I'd love to hear from people that favor them!) so at the moment I'm inclined to go for Ellis's bitter end (or even Alfons's bitter end). Are the bitter ends darker? Anyone have any recommendations?

As a side note for main routes, I've put William on hiatus at chapter 18 and switched to Liam. That Liam performs a particular play surprised me and made me super happy, because that play is one of my favorites, so a great start! His route has some serious content warnings so let's go...!

[the-peak-tmnt]

This is so like not my business but I am so very sorry about your dog, and losing a dog while away on a trip sounds so absolutely awful so I’m just popping in here to say that I do not know you but I’m so sure your dog knew you loved it and felt your presence 💖 that would tear me the fuck up so I just felt pressed to say I hope you don’t feel too guilty about it. Sending love!

I didn't answer this right away, but I read it as soon as you sent it and I really, really appreciate it because it was exactly what I needed to hear at the time.

I was really upset that I wasn't there when he died, but you're absolutely right that he had to have known he was so, so, so loved. He was being especially cute on the car ride to the pet hotel, so he got so many head pats and face smooshes and kisses as we drove there. I know some dogs don't do well at kennels, but he was super popular at our regular pet hotel and he was always excited to go. The staff even let him hang out up front with them because he was just so chill and friendly. As upset as I am that I wasn't there, my other dog was with him in the kennel so he wasn't alone, and he was in a place where he felt comfortable and was treated super well. It also happened quickly (sudden heart failure) so at least I know he didn't suffer or have time to be scared. I could write a novel on how much I loved this dog. I got him in my mid-20s, and he was my only constant as my life went through so many significant changes in the ensuing decade. And I could go on and on about all the things I loved about him, but one of the absolute best things about him was the way he made total strangers instantly light up.

He was a huge and wolfy looking dog, and his doggy DNA test said he was a Husky/Malamute/Shepherd mix. I spent his entire life having to explain to people that he wasn't a wolf hybrid lol. But because he so huge and so beautiful, we got stopped everywhere we went. We roadtripped all around the country and lived in a couple major cities throughout his life, and I swear I had to have talked hundreds of people because of him. One of my favorite memories was when we were camping in Yosemite years and years ago. A tour bus full of Chinese tourists rolled up, and we got absolutely swarmed. I studied abroad in China back in college. Until the recent explosion of the middle class, having dogs as pets in China wasn't super common. I didn't know a single person with a dog when I was in China, and I don't remember seeing any the whole time I was there. So I think for a lot of those tourists, this was their first time meeting a pet dog...and they were absolutely losing their minds. I had forgotten much of my Mandarin by that point, but I remembered just enough to tell them that he was friendly and they could pet him. I swear to god, we were stuck there for like 45 minutes until every last tourist got a photo with him. They asked it they could feed him, and was handing out dog treats for people to throw to him and holy shit, my dog may as well have been a rockstar in that moment. People were cheering and clapping and laughing each time he caught a treat. It was one of the most surreal experiences of my life. I loved every second of it because thanks to my dog, there was no language barrier. Smiles and laugher are universal.

Anyway, that's just a really long way of me saying that dogs are so special because just seeing or meeting a dog can make someone's whole day, and I was so incredibly lucky to have one who did this on the regular for so many people. I will always miss everything about him, but seeing the joy he gave other people by just being big, beautiful, gentle giant is one of the things I'll miss the most. Thank you so much for this message @saladmix, and everyone else who left such sweet comments when I posted about my dog passing.

[persy-r-bozo]

My Moms Adventures with Dhmis-

i Was talking to a friend today and i suddenly remembered that a few years ago i made my mom watch Dhmis (Web) with me. before i was even half confident to even make a tumblr account.

And then i realized that Dhmis tumblr would maybe get a giggle from this.

i was wondering if i should tell this. then i remebered my mom shares silly story's about me on her facebook. so this is revenge of the silly stories now. so here we go.

-From what i remember-

CREATIVITY: is when I realized that she was probably the Key demographic Becky and joe were going for tbh. She went from "This is weird.." to "This is weird in a fun way!" to " D: " Real quick. it was like those fake reaction channels from 2014 but in real life. it was crazy.

TIME: She got suspicious of tony real fast. She Also gave Roy a face that i could only describe as a face you'd give someone before crossing the road to avoid them. also!- She isn't a big fan of the trio. she found them creepy, she feels bad for them! but she also wouldn't get within 30 feet of them either.

LOVE: Guys lemme tell you. SHE IS SHRIGOLDS #1 HATER She hated him the moment he flew on screen. She was cussing him out and giving him the stink eye every time he spoke. She still talks about how much she hates "The creepy ass butterfly" to this day

COMPUTERS: She was jamming on the computer song fr. cant blame her it is in fact a banger. like she was worryingly looking at the screen while also bopping her head along. and when reds head exploded she froze and said "DID HE JUST FUCKING DIE!!!?" in the same vain as marks "WAS THAT THE BITE OF 87!!!?"

HEALTHY: She was confused and quiet most of the time here till THE SCENE. where she openly gasped and went "whhhAAAAAATT THE FUCK!!??????????" Jaw AGAPE, Eyebrows FURROWED. and then the end scene, She put her hand over her mouth and watched red walk away from the phone as the credits rolled and- "HE ATE HIS FRIEND??? WHY?" "They forced him too" "HUH? WHAT? THEY FORCED HIM TOO EAT HIS FRIEND? HIS FRIEND IS EATEN! ATE! GONE!" if DHMIS is mentioned in any conversation her first words will always be "THEY MADE HIM EAT HIS FRIEND!!!" Even is she hears it across the room. she will yell it.

it happened a few days ago actually! in the car.

"They made him eat his friend!!"

DREAMS: She was still in shock over duck getting canned. she was the most confused by the surrealism of dreams. Common questions from this episode "So is the bird dead dead? or dead like the clock made them dead?" "Is the mop in the real world? or a mop man world?" and "Why is he (Yellow guy) So upset?"

My answers: "I don't know. its kinda up to the viewer" "I don't know. its kinda up to the viewer" "safe to assume he's having a rough day."

Anyways, when red started pushing buttons and all the old teachers popped up it was "No! there all awful!" then shrigold popped up for a sec and. as said before - she's shrigolds #1 hater- so it was "NO! GET THAT BITCH OUT OF HERE!!" And she was quiet, making concerned faces at Roy. Confused face at the end. and shocked silence as the credits rolled.

Her final thoughts: "It was interesting to say the least, not my full cup of tea but i can understand why you like it, its very artsy and weird and speaks to you in that way. . Its like visual artists version of going to a underground concerts mosh pit, Crazy yet exhilarating. you never know what's going to happen next!

Tv Show?: she wants to see it but at the same time doesn't, Its an odd limbo. and she doesn't have a VPN. so she's going to hold off till further notice.

Funny names for characters she has.-

(Yellow)" Yellow Boy" "Noodle Boy"

(Roy)"The ugly squiggly one" "His dad" "Methhead puppet"

(Red) "Mop Man" - i still call him this too this day lol.

(Duck) "Bird boy" "Bird Dude" "Borb" "The friend who got Eaten"

(Shirgold) "Bitch Butterfly" "Creepy ass butterfly" "Cult Butterfly".

Every other object has been deemed "The Fucking _____" Example "The Fucking Steak."

Except for Larry the lamp.. i was given a Larry lamp from Esty on a birthday once, and he has helped us though multiple blackouts sense. so Larry's cool but He's on thin ice

[copiousloverofcopia]

how do the papas react to holding their firstborn for the first time

Hi ghestie! Thank you for the ask! I love these ones so much as I am sure you're aware lol....

Anyways lol I have written this for some of them already in fics and for the ones I have I will add the links to their reactions below as well as give you my overall headcanon view for them 🖤

Primo

He's completely overwhelmed, but you would never know it from the outside. The small child wiggling around in his arms is surreal to him and he feels the weight of his own mortality staring back at him. It takes it a moment for him to believe it's real. He never thought he would be a father, especially in his twilight years, but here they are. Perfect and fragile, and he is overwhelmed with pride and adoration. "You have given me the most perfect gifts my dove..."

Secondo

{Let There Be Night (NSFW), Exactly As It Should Be (SFW)}

He is in shock. Secondo never wanted to have children until he met his lover. The idea of added responsibly always turned him off to the idea. He worried so much that he would turn out to be just like Nihil, but after seeing them, holding them, watching them coo in their sleep when they are placed in his arms for the first time... well it brings our cold withdrawn Papa to tears. Him and his Prime Mover, both knowing in that moment that he will be wrapped around that baby's finger for the rest of his life. "...il mio piccolo I promise you I will love and protect you with everything I am."

Terzo

{Tied As One Eternally (NSFW), Here Comes the Son (SFW)}

Terzo is scared, but so excited. He loves children so much and is completely head over heels, instantly in love with them from the moment his Prime Mover lays the child in his arms. At first, he is scared he might drop them, but soon gets over his initial fears. Struggling now when having to give them back to his Prime Mover or letting anyone else hold them. Hogging the baby like the treasure he is sure they are... and already planning for them to have siblings. "..and one day...when your momma is ready principessa, we give you a brother si?"

Copia

{The Cardinal's Prime Mover (NSFW)}

Copia is over the moon happy. He cries--hard. He has always wanted a family, never being close or even knowing any of his own growing up. He is the most excited of them all to hold his child for the first time. You could literally see the light washing over his eyes, the smile tugging tight to the sides of his mouth. Tears streaming down his freckled cheeks and proudly showing the baby off to everyone he can find, including of course his rats. "Now Rigatoni, Gnocci...it is your duty to watch over my bambino while Papa is away si?"