#was like ok im breaking up with u
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had the weirdest dream ever i went to kidzania with saumya that mumbai mein rcity wala but they weren't letting us in cause only kids are allowed so saumya made a plan she started livestreaming on ig and she was like im making a vlog abt kidzania and she looked at the guard like daring him to not allow her in front of saumya's 100k followers so he let us in and we went and instead of doing work we just sat in the MOD shop and they taught us how to bake donuts and eat it ourself and we also went to the coke making thing to get drinks
#mann then it shifted to us shopping in some street market#we were buying earrings and i took this jhumka and put it near her ear and said she looked pretty and the shop bhaiya smiled at us (cause#dreams mein ig even random shopkeepers in india are not homophobic? 😭)#and it shifted to us at a waterpark and i was scared of that ride that slide one that's like a roller coaster but ends in the water so she#was like ok im breaking up with u#then i woke up👍#never ever talking to her again she has taken over my brain i slept for like an hour and had 3 different dreams about her 😭#saumya 🌙#mes
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exile
#IM SO LATW OM SORRY I KEPT PUTTING THIS OFF#ctommy#cdream#discduo#cdiscduo#i used a gacha life armor shoe as reference for dreams boots it actually really helped😭😭#I TRIED TO PUT TNT IN THE BACK BUT IT LOOKED WEIRD imagine there's tnt block back there#dream is holding a Flint and steel idk if u can see it there but its There#COVERING UP THE ORIGINAL GUYS FROM THE PIC WAS GENIUENLY FUN i really liked doing the grass#Sorry im so inactive more soon i swear i am on summer break Lots of things going on(ive just been playing roblox and minecraft and gartic ph#one with my friends and going to the park)#idk what 2 drawwwwww i love my creatures but om lowkey out of ideas i'll think of something though Dont Worry#Also i made a twitter @ciingyyy i might repost some stuff on there i love twitter#ok love u guys Goodbue
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sry i dont know what 2 draw anymore T_T . elendira portrait #999
#trigun#trigun maximum#elendira#elendira the crimsonnail#my art#im sure u can see it but ive been so uninspired w art lately T_T#ive tried to remedy it by just looking and observing. breaking down other works that i want 2 take direction from#but i tjknk its like . just jamming ME UPPP#and now im tjinking Too much ab it and psyching myself out#help me sorry i blow up the tags on every drawing i post ab my art struggles😭😭#its like im whispering in here thouggh. just talking 2 myself and no one has 2 know except the ppl dealing w the same feelings#HAJAHA#anyways. i drew this just to say i finally drew smth agajn and im just going to be ok w it#like sure its not exciting but i like the colors and that shld be enough . OK !!!!#smth smth saw a post that talked ab how u get too in ur Head about this and then u dont share stuff and it becomes cyclical#and youll never get anywhere unless u just throw ur hands in the air and let it Be .#creating 4 the sake of creating . love and joy in sharing what we made and what we like#YAAAY#and bc i love elendira so much.. my go to girlie 4 art block#i need to draw her in fight scenes . i need 2 make art of her like sweaty and bloody yah . clenching my fist#maybe a livio fight scene bc i love it so much T_T
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Carmen: PREPARE FOR TROUBLE !!!
Don: AND MAKE IT DOUBLE !!!
Referee Mario: NYA-HOO !!!
#ok so little bit of backstory#this is based on server shenanigans from charlies server#basically we were talking ab how don and carmen would totally dress in drag together#which lead to the hc that they dress as eachother like jessie and james from pokemon#which lead to my idea of drawing them as such for pride month with referee mario invited over dressed up as meowth :3#tl;dr this is my pride month contribution and i hope u enjoy <3#punch out#punch out wii#punch out nes#don flamenco#cardon#carmen punch out#also also im kiiind of on an internet break rn (more specifically a discord break) bc of school but i decided to finish this to unwind a li#ANYWAY <3 enjoy#monkey brain draws
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🐟🐟🐟
#im just a lil fishy owo#this was initially drawn out while i was home for winter break and terrified by the concept of having to go back to work#it wasnt as bad as i imagined but i still feel this. i also feel slightly crunge abt it#but like idk u gotta build up from something so off it goes into the world#which is to say. i drew this bc i wanted to try to work on composition#and some of it is ok but ya kno meh#original#art#fish#i had to post this now bc i feel it more than ever#whatever compulsive force exists within me is trying its hardest to kill me
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blood loss edition
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#colloquially. like gesturing towards a signifier of a signifier of a story told long before. youre not getting more out of me than that#ft. tố linh (and them in yuutoverse for a hot second)#if u wonder what a dirt historian is. stay tuned <3#that thing reki does in the first page is a real thing everyone here's convinced of btw#like. free hangin from a bar by ur arms will make u taller#also I literally did not mean to design amy and linh Like That. I did Not mean for them to be. Like That#but I am happy that I did. bc I love their design and they play well with yuuto#the last page is. some extremely disorganized Thoughts from a thing I kinda wanna write#maybe not right now. but eventually#I guess it's also mostly like. one more love letter to the siblings out there. it has to do with reki getting#underground basically illegal T shots at S lmao#shakes u by the collar we're not going anywhere! I love you!! everything will find its place!!!!#anyways. there are also a number of muppet type creatures in this one. idk whats up with that#I dont have much blood in me rn Im not lucid. have fun be urself ok?#thats also why the inks been taking a break btw. and the fact that my new pot of ink just arrived today#while Im being deprived of my appropriate volume of intravenous fluid#man. may be another day. before I can stop screaming at my wall and punching things off shelves. and draw properly#meanwhile. u know whats up#I go lay down now. have fun ok? be kind to ur tall friends knee them only gently#also just realized future!langa kinda has a bit of haruka vibes. that is literally so awesome
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i need brownies so fucking bad rn
#unrelated croomf has pissed me off to immeasurable amounts. reduced back to oomf#overthat#anyway#DY piece tn i need it to go#and also this song is soooo minhui i threw up everywhere#decided for better or for worse that kit will be implemented here instead of in the group w kyun.. kyun works best on his own for me idk#he’s not gnna have a massive part (for now) and i dont plan on him leaving 127 to join BB or anything so he’ll def stay on the side#buttttt i did start up a little gogo piece through his eyes#i rly like the idea of never writing in gg’s pov does that jst make me sound rly lazy#BECAUSE!!!!! IM NOT!!! well i am but not w this hear me out#he puts on so many faces with everyone and even if with some he’s more ‘him’ than with others he’s never really actually#gone the whole way bared his soul the whole shebang to everyone bar like one person. so he’s kinda lonely AS EFF!!!#and idk i js like the idea of him being (when u get down it) a stranger. he doesnt even wanna show himself to the narrative IJBOLLL#sooooo yeah. it does kinda sound like a cop-out 4 if he acts like a different person in every piece but i think ive been p consistent so#that one person was in dream btw.. he left partly because he was bored and felt like he’d end up going nowhere and#partly because he was HUMILIATED by doing all that he needed to pack his bags and get the fuck out its kinda funny#mention ** to him and he’ll look like that pic of that one 2000 yard stare soldier its serious#worse than saying ‘hyeonmin and jaehee are in the same room rn haha’ to yijun.. but barely anyone will ever find that out#ANYWAY! i like to think kit + cherryade are the closest to seeing minhui as he is right after redacted explosions gunshots#‘im on fire and i’ve got to break out’ + ‘i've had enough of this got to break it through’ LIKE ITS HIMMM!#and dont even mention the ‘got to leave all trouble living life on the double’ I HATE THIS OSNGGGG#They made it for him. IDGAF if it came out in 2001.#ok sorry for yapping i might go make toast#Spotify
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parasocial moment but every time someone makes a post about dnp related to them sort of raising us i just start crying because of the awareness i have that i view them so much more as dads than my own biological father who actually raised me and i just have so many complex emotions about it because its fucking sad that the man who was supposed to be there for me has totally failed me and fucked me up far more than anyone else ever has but at the same time so grateful for having people who were such positive influences (haha ironic) towards me that i could hold them at such a high status.
there is not a single moment where i am in my fathers home or vicinity where i feel completely safe and comfortable but when im in my own world watching silly gaming videos from the only 2 people who make me think its going to be ok i feel completely safe
#dan and phil#phan#getting emotional in the chat#everything theyve ever done has been like a step on a staircase#a staircase theyve been building for thousands of people across the world to climb#and i could never thank them enough for it#man im going to break down completely at m&g#and im going to be ok in life#and its all their fault!!! also also my moms love u mom#i remember being 11 and telling my dad i think i might be a trans boy and him berating me until i cried because its a “dangerous path”#yet hes the only one whos ever made it dangerous#self fulfilling prophecy isnt it?#and even now im non binary and i changed my name and he tells me he prays every day that ill give up on “this max nonsense” and go back to#being someone im not#hes not even religious.
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the number of times i have reread alhaitham character story 4 and kaveh character story 5. like. dont look at me. kfjsdklfh#on one hand im tempted to think alhaitham would have a fully cynical view of friendship#and be like USELESS NEVER AMOUNTS TO ANYTHING but. i kinda dont think he works like that#well i dont think he would think that either way now but#even in times of friendship breaking up w/kaveh like#alhaitham is very FACTS AND LOGIC and i feel like he would still like#idk. understand the objective value of human companionship. whether or not he feels it works for him#HOWEVER. jkdlhfsd he is also the one who in his other lore bits was like 'grandmother the other children are boring at school'#AT AGE SEVEN god he was probably such an unintentionally funny child. i love u alhaitham u are so neurodivergently coded#so idk i feel like he would have a period where hes like okay. i was alone before and clearly that was the right call bc my 1 friend is gon#even if he does well alone i cant even imagine like. kaveh mustve been a huge impact and difference in alhaithams life#humans need SOME level of socialization!! and kaveh was his.... aughhh god they literally also read as having a bad breakup!!!!!#queer coded TO ME!!!!!! friends to rivals/friends to lovers to enemies to it's complicated..................#but again even if u dont think of it in a romantic sense like it's still so much. they were and are so significant to each other.#their bond is so complex and oughghdhgh they make me go bonkers#i do not think of any other 2 genshin characters so intensely as i do them .what have they done to me. what the fuck.#im alone in my stupid little genshin pit endlessly babbling about these motherfuckers!!!!!!!#and i love them. also i like that one scene in i think cynos 2nd character quest where al and kav r in the library or w/e#and kavehs like wtf no way u dont small talk w/coworkers. and alhaithams like no i just happen 2 hear people but i do not engage#hes so real he likes to eavesdrop but he does NOT want to get involved!!!!!!!!!!!!#also that same scene where kaveh goes 'WTF looking thru these will take FOREVER!!!!' alhaitham: 'ill manage'#kaveh: >:( FINE ILL HELP YOU!!!! like ok he did not ask. silly.#and alhaitham teasing him right after all that. 'teach me to pretend u werent listening' '...' '...' '...' '...HEY STOP IGNORING ME' 'see.'#theyre so goofy. kaveh u walked right into that one. ily.#i love when i talk about characters and it's literally just me going 'wow remember when character x said this. remember when he did that.'#i just love repeating scenes and dialogue and lore over and over and over and offering nothing new to say about it JKFLDSHKLFH#sorry i love them SO much and im bad at drawing and bad at fanfic so i just have to ramble in text posts forever#i do have. a fanfic outlined for them. i am just scared to write it#nothing crazy deep or whatever but yknow. im in a bit of a Funk Right Now dont worry about it#i need a constant stream of alhaitham and kaveh content constantly injected directly into my brain.
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I got Max CC from here
I got Chloe CC from here
I might've just gotten the sims themselves from there I don't even remember HSHS. Ik I forgot Chloe's tattoo tho..
#life is strange#pricefield#max caulfield#chloe price#sims 4#spoilers for double exposure in these tags#stop reading tags if ur avoiding spoilers u barnacle#last warning..#ok anyways so I got them in sims 4 cuz I was upset abt them breaking up but Im gonna hold out hope for now because#SPOILERS AGAIN FOR DOUBLE EXPOSURE BUT ENDING OF FULL GAME THIS TIME#BEWAREEEEEEEEEEEEEE#LIKE FRFR#NO PEAKINGGGGGGGGG#because of the safi shapeshift thing#like that presents some opportunities
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because i feel like i need a refresher on rejuv's story again i feel the need to finally do renegade its just im soooo so hesitant on being mean but i don't want to skip to terajuma......... if anyone has a way to sorta keyhole that please please lmk.
#talk#pokemon rejuvenation#<- for reach. im gen conflicted.#a playthrough is cool but i kinda wanna play through myself so i can canonize my oc's renegade team.#and i Love Stories i love creating and melting my brain into a pulp via osmosis#i hate being mean though. breaks my heart. especially to characters i like. also it heart my characterization of my own Guy. though tbh#not a big deal in terms of that. i think. maybe it is.#if there isn't a solution then thats ok ill probably brainstorm on my own what team to give. i have a vague outline.#also im aware that u don't technically Have to be mean but its much easier to rack up the Mean Points (i'm calling it that)#ok thank you.
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I love ex boyfriend bakugo so much you don't even know
actually i do know because i feel the SAME. my love for ex bakugo is unyielding. endless. forever. and i actually wrote a bunch for him a couple months ago when another anon brought it up but... got scared they'd hate what i had down so i....... put it on the shelf. i'll have to find it maybe... if ppl want.
ANYWAY... like. there is truly just no way to go wrong with him. there is just no universe where he isn't either a depressed, miserable, longing ex or an kind, gentle and regretful one (or some variation of). even when he's angry, it's mostly just at himself for being a douche who managed to lose you, and HOW CAN U NOT LOVE THAT??
it's so ironic bc he's such a prickly pear but... he just loves the hardest out of any + everyone. not that i don't imagine the others and just as caring... but for bakugo, it's almost a religious experience, you know? never a phase or an era or something he just does but a... idek. life commitment? goal? achievement? something to be maintained and treasured? all of the above. EVEN IF he's not that good at it (at first... which is debatable anyway), that's still how he feels.
so when u break up... that can't be the end of things. like really i can only imagine it happening circumstantially, cuz i genuinely think that any issues you bring up with him (aside from work maybe), he'd take BEYOND seriously.
too gruff and private? suddenly he's telling u every single emotion he has and asking if he's being too rough. too anal and uptight? suddenly the kitchen is a mess and he hasn't even noticed. hell, even too busy? he'll do his best to fit a whole evening with u in his schedule (he hates mornings more than anything but takes the ass crack of dawn shift just so u can have dinner together most night)... it's like !!!!!!! + reminds me of that post i made talking about how pro heroes are so hard to breakup with bc even when ur pointing out their flaws, they're so used to constructive criticism, they don't even notice ur being insulting LMFAO😭
that aside tho, i can never imagine a bakugo breakup!au without them... you both back together at some point. even if it's ten or fifteen years later like... he spent all that time trying to get better for u... even if he didn't think you'd really come back. (or, as i was trying to write, you breakup with him and he just... doesn't fucking believe u LMFAOOOOO and shoves his booty back into his rightful place sadjkfhakjdsf)
(and bc i have i-can-fix-him disease, i also like bakugo who went thru a traumatic breakup w/ someone who wasn't u... and then five/ten/fifteen years later, you're the one to teach him to love again. or maybe that's not that unique of me LOL).
#bakugo#anyway#this is a mess im sorry but WAHHHHHHHH ADJKFLHADSHFB. I LOVE U BAKUGO IM UR BIGGEST FAN I NEED U#whenever i read breakup angst i'm like#he broke up WITH U. we get back together <3#and god like. reunification / older dating aus#like i sometimes i dont even imagine the dating i just imagine me telling him all his exes are sh*t (not you but imaginary ppl)#and him being like <3#LOL I'M TOXIC#and also the other ex thing i wrote i didnt like bc it ended up being more story than thought#but it was basically abt like... u know. u break up with him over slight miscommunication#and he doesn't even realize??? he's just like ok were taking a break for a couple days lol.#and then ur like no bakugo we broke up lmfao#and he's like. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh absolutely not and calls u every day talking like ur boyfriend until u. realize#he's serious abt changing#ANYWAYYYYYY SORRY FOR THIS IF ITS NOT WHAT U WANTED BYE#caitie things#gen#anon
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,
#s.txt#am taking a lil social media break bc uni is so fucking busy and i Need to focus for a few days#but my parents r out of town and being home alone just gave me the most soulcrushing lonely feeling i have had in Ages#like GOD i need to talk to someone but im not about to fuck up this streak bc the second i open discord i know that its gonna be over for m#and ive been actually doing well . and i need to keep that up until at least tuesday#so . just doing a little post here . if u see this hi :) hope youre doing well#if we talk regularly then i miss u and i will be back soon !! ok that is all#gonna watch some stupid youtube videos to stave off the loneliness bye now <3#oh also i watched the new dr who . it is fucking peak . ncuti gatwa i love you
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lmao looking at her insta highlights was a mistake
#i feel worse WHY DOES SHE HAVE TONED MUSCLES UGHHH#also my confidence has gone down a tiny bit bc why is she hanging out w all these cool ppl#how is this girl simultaneously a lawyer and also has her social life on max like give me a break#thered a photo of her walking around in heaven either before closing or after opening shes sooo#HOWEVER. i just had a call w her yesterday that made me realise my idea of romance is more romantic than her idea of romance#but also that she doesnt want to do smth super romancey on a 3rd date which according to my friends is fair but according to my heart#it is not. like why are u on a date if u dont wanna do anything romancey at that point just hang out w friends#odd of her to say that too considering our first two dated were quite romantic . anyway#yo this cafe is playing persian music nice. anyway yh#also she makes being middle eastern so gay yk the goodbye fake cheek kiss thing we do . where u like . kiss the air on the sides of the#persons face when ur saying goodbye. ygwim . yeah she doesnt do the fake air kisses she gives u two tender kisses like . anyway#i discussed the stuff she does w my friend and like why r her words so aloof and her actions so...not . and my friends reaction was#basically this is fuckboy behaviour. apparently he used to do that to girls ?? like tell them he rly liked them#and be all charming and romantic even tho he rly wasnt invested at all and he mostly wanted to hook up. like ok#im gonna kill myself then. why would u stroke my hair w my head on ur LAP THEN. WHAT IF SHE TURNS AROUND AND IS LIKE#oops it was nothing#....ill kms actually. no i womt. but anyway#also got added to the gc w the other lecturers givjng talks on the 6th so its getting more real#my friend was like did u do the script yet :))) . almost died shes so scary i love her . but . fuck two exams . crush. talk. ucl cambrdige#three conferences aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA im so anxious i dont even feel anything atp#......I HAVE NO MONEY!!! TO TOP IT OFF#my crush and i are both iranian (aka born w extremely expensive taste woven into our genes) but i wanna like#treat her w the entire 2 quid in my bank account ig ♡♡♡#crushposting
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heads up i finally scrambled together enough brain power and caught up with cultivate and i am not going to be normal about it and im going to make it everyone elses problem <33
#cultivate🥰🥰🤗☺️😊🤩😊🤗🥰🥰🤩☺️🤗🥰#ykno that feeling when u have a beloved fic but are not in the right vibe to read it even tho you want to so you gotta wait#until that breaks because its so good and you dont want to ruin the experience and it deserves the right vibes tm or am i tripping-#fhkjfhdkANYWAY IFINALLY DID AND 🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖 hdkjfhs#sooner or later doodles are back on the menu boys because im sooooooooo normal about this fic aha smile :))))))))#speaking of being normal#BEES BESS HBBEES BEES BEES BES BEES AHHAHAHA#LISTEN im gonna sound like a loonie right noW BUT LISNETN#ever since those arctic bees were mentioned way beck when I DID NOT. STOP THINKING ABOUT THEMM. buzzing in my brain THIS WHOLE TIME#and ever since then i was like ☺️what if that concept actually showed up aha 🤗 and it wasnt just throwaway LQG thought ☺️aha#AND I KNOW THIS ISNT EVEN MAYBE A CALLBACK TO IT I KNOW I KNOW OK MAYBE IM CRAZY BUT LET ME HAVE THIS#crystal cave bees are a callback to arctic bees in my heart 💖#you dont understand fuzzy litol blue bbys so beloved i was even planning to sneak them into a future piece thats in the microwave lmao#AND NOW THEYRE PROPERLY CANON AYO B))#speaking of future pieces absolutely do not let me forget that i wanna do bai zhan and taoren spouses outfits properly thats also very 💖💖#im just waiting if we get more details on howd they look#ok enough rambling more sleeping gbyyyeeee
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oughghgh
#post therapy tummy ow#today i surprised my therapist with a detail i didnt know i hadn't told her yet 🥴#and i said it so casually and i saw her eyebrows raise REALLY hard and thats when i realized and i was just like ok put a pin in it#i realized recently that like. these traumas i experienced jumble in my head so much bc they DO overlap#and its so fucked up realizing how many people have seen me in vulnerable states and gone “ah! i want in on that”#not as in “lemme help” tho but as in “lemme use you too”#like what the FUCKKKKKK#its not even specific to 2016 [where we're focusing on the chaos now] but even BEFORE THAT IM REALIZING#honestly if a chunk of u even knew a fraction of the trauma i experienced i think u would seriously not like me/find me as sexy as yall do#but anyway yea#my tummy hurts and i have to go to work /:#and all i want to do is keep vomiting about the traumas ive experienced bc i got really into some details there at the end /:#all ima say tho is: i deserve to have my life fully funded so i can have a fucking break bc what the actual Fuck#like yeah i couldve made some better decisions but the number of times i got hurt bc i trusted someone and told them things THEY ASKED TO#HEAR ABOUT/HOLD SPACE FOR and then they engaged in the same fucking behaviors or used that pain to then lie to me in ways that i would ofc#believe. . . . . .. . . . . . . disgusting its no wonder I dont feel safe fucking making friends anymore#like even thinking just about like the things i told certain ppl to the harm i experienced by them /:#and thinking of how all that ofc led to someone like my ex being able to take advantage of me#g-d i want to punch all these people
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