#was just shitfaced drunk 8 hours ago but here we go i guess?

[gardenoblues]

The Less I Know The Better

[huihuiheart]

Spiked - Minho

Part of @clandestine-lixie ‘s Smutmas Collab and a great excuse to get some more Minho on my page! 

Summary: It’s pretty much tradition at this point that Changbin spikes the eggnog at the annual Christmas party. What happens though when secrets slip through drunk lips and aren’t forgotten the next morning? At least not forgotten by the very person you confessed to. 

Pairing: Minho x F! Reader

Warnings: Drinking (not drunk when having sex), drunken confessions?, cursing, some angst in the beginning, smut, lovemaking, unprotected sex (stay safe kids), oral (f! receiving), lots of petnames, moments where Minho is kinda smug, lots of praise, it’s sugary sweet, mild sir kink for a moment, fingering, some playful teasing.

I sincerely apologize but I haven’t had time to edit this yet, so...please excuse any errors and stuff I’ll be getting to those when I have some time. I wrote over half of this today with a migraine so we’re working on fumes here. Also if something seems off I apologize, I’ve never celebrated the holidays before so I honestly don’t know what Christmas is like....sorry.

Word Count: 4,992

“Awe don’t tell me you’re already finished taking bets? I haven’t even got mine in on how long before Changbin tries to get us all drunk.” You tease the rambunctious group in the living room as you remove your shoes by the door. Christopher joining you a moment later to help you with your coat, hanging it up for you as he often did. 

“Hey, don’t look so glum. Felix was just getting to the interesting wagers now anyways. Bets of any kind are in Minho’s care this evening. Gifts for tomorrow morning under the tree as always.”  Chris caught you up with where the ever excitable boys had already impatiently gotten up to, before stepping away with your coat so you could join the others.

“So what did I just miss then? You know the topic that had you all in a giggle fit?” You raise a brow as you claim a spot in their circle, between Minho and Hyunjin.

“Oh we were just discussing the last bet. Not that you’d be able to participate anyways seeing how it was about you.” Jisung smirks wickedly until you match his gaze with your own that was just as devious, making him fold in an instant, or so you think, “Just betting on whether we thought you’d stay the night or not this year.”

“That’s not interesting though, I stay practically every year cause I’m too drunk to go home alone and none of you will take me.” You chuckle shaking you head, “ A better bet would be who will get drunk the fastest, my money’s on Hyunjin.” 

Minho took your bet money counting it out before the other boys made their wagers too, writing them all down as more and more bets danced through your group. Both those typical for the Christmas party and those unique to this year for whatever reason. Debates starting up over a few of them as they always did.

“No I’m telling you Y/N will be the first one to admit it. She always gets loose lipped when she drinks.” Jisung teases despite the validity of his statement, something you’ve proven true to them at more than just the previous Christmas parties. 

“Still who she likes is the secret she guards more than anything else, she’d have to be so shitfaced for that to come out it would be ridiculous!” Changbin counters, “ My money is on Felix, he was practically giving it away unprompted last year. It wouldn’t be too hard to get it out of him if we really tried.” 

“Maybe that’s just cause Y/N doesn’t trust some of you to keep your mouths shut.” Christopher shrugs as he takes a seat, though all eyes are on him not because of the motion, but because of his words. Giving away that you had already confessed your crush to at least one person in the room. 

“Wait. So you told him, but you didn’t tell me? What do we even gossip for? Let I’m lowkey offended right now.” Hyunjin whines used to being your partner in crime when it came to exchanging secrets about your group, even the things you’d never tell anyone else. Trusting the other to lock it down tighter than even their own secrets, even if you exploited that information at times. Like when Hyunjin conveniently ended up paired with his crush for every game of the spring break party.

“In my defense I was distraught and looking for you when it slipped. Chris was just the only one around, so he’s the one who got that information.” You counter knowing there wasn’t any taking it back at this point anyways, Hyunjin barely accepting your answer with a grumble. You were somewhat glad that it was the case though, he’d surely exploit the information tonight if he had it. In this case you should be safe, or so you thought before you noticed the subtle smirk on Christopher’s face before he glanced between you and the very crush you’d revealed to him....Minho.

“Hey, the boys sent me to see if you needed any help.” Minho steps into the kitchen watching as you moved to pull something out of the oven. Most of the food had already been prepped before you arrived so you offered to be the one to actually cook it. This being the fourth time in an hour and a half that Minho had been sent to check on you, each time he showed up besides you though he announced himself with those same words....the boys sent me. Them digging a little deeper into your heart whenever you’d hear them again. It implying that that he never actually chose to come to you of his own will, only coming to you since the boys told him to.

“I’m fine Minho. You can go back to the others.” Your words were sharper than you intended and it nearly made you wince, even if he didn’t return your feelings he was still your friend and you shouldn’t be so harsh to him. Sometimes your feelings managed to rear their ugly head before you could stop them though, something you’d feel regret for later

“Rose....your thorns are showing again.” Minho’s gentle voice says the familiar phrase as he moves to stand at your side. His nickname for you with a subtle announcement of the fact that your emotions were slipping out quicker than you often registered, something he always managed to stay calm through no matter how snappy you sometimes got, “I don’t know what riled you up, and I don’t have to. You should go take a minute to calm down though. I’ll watch the food.”

The way he spoke to you was enough to calm you down enough to regain your composure, but not wanting to be so close to him and unintentionally get worked up again you conceded. Slipping outside into the frigid air for a few moments to collect yourself before finding the others in the living room again, sitting besides Christopher now.

“The eggnog spiked yet?” You question with a soft sigh as you lean against his shoulder, causing him to chuckle and nod, “Good, cause I’m going to need a drink to make it through the night.”

“You drunk yet Y/N?” Changbin teases as he pours you another glass. Internally cursing him out, he knew damn well he put something stronger in the eggnog this year without any warning. Knowing that you and Felix at least would try to keep up with everyone else despite being two of the light weights of the group. The others in that category smart enough to stop before they could make a fool out of themselves, even accidentally.

“Not drunk enough to lose to Felix or spill any secrets yet, if that’s what you’re asking.” You call him out, brow quirking as if to challenge him to tease you again. The alcohol buzzing through your system making you more confident in challenging them, even if it slowed your wit slightly. 

“Nah just wondering if you’re drunk enough to at least confess you’re spending the night? Well officially anyways. We thought of a way to determine who you’re going to stay with tonight.” Changbin brings his own glass to his lips, hiding his smirk knowing that Christopher had come to him and Hyunjin with a plan to rig it so that you’d end up with Minho. 

“Fine, I’ll confess to that.” You chuckle not catching onto their schemes, “So how are we figuring it out then? What’s your big, genius plan?” 

The sarcastic way you’re carrying yourself makes Hyunjin snicker, leaning towards Christopher, “Oh if only she knew...” He shakes his head slightly before shaping up, to hide any suspicious acts from you, “Simple, you’re just drawing the name out of a hat. You know the deal though, you only get to pick once and that’s who you’re stuck with.”

“Yeah, I know the deal.” You sit up further waiting for them to bring the hat over, the liquid courage running through you making you feel really good about your odds. It was only a 1 in 8 chance that you’d end up picking Minho, you were most likely safe from your crush. Well the possibility of embarrassing yourself while alone with him anyways. Or so you thought until you managed to pull his name out of the hat.

“Well.....I guess I’m rooming with Minho tonight....”

"Alright I think that's enough for one night." Minho takes the glass from you before you can get it refilled yet again. You'd lost count three drinks ago, hoping you'd get passed out drunk instead of having to face him. Luck wasn't on your side this evening though as Minho still had his wits about him and he refused to let you do something dangerous to your health.

"But Minho, if I'm not drinking what am I going to do?" Your whine is only added to by the small subconscious pout adorning your drunk face.

"We've both had enough and are going to bed now. It's 4 fucking 37 in the morning and you know someone's gonna be waking is up too goddamn early hangover or not. So if you wanna drink something it'll be water on the way to bed." Minho insists moving to help your inebriated form up from your seat on the floor and towards his upstairs bedroom.

"You can use the bathroom, I put some clothes in their for you so you can sleep comfortably." Minho sits on th edge of his bed, pulling out his phone to scroll through seeming almost entirely disinterested as you wobble off to the bathroom. Not getting far though before you have to pull the door open with a blush, your shirt wedged half on with only one arm successfully out.

"M-Minho I got stuck, c-can you help me?" Your words held no room for any hidden implications, especially not when panicked tears started to well in your eyes.

"Hey, it'll be okay. I'm gonna help you and you'll be just fine." Minho coos trying to reassure you, not knowing your panic was partly due to having to face him like this. His warm hands gently in the way they helped untangle you from the shirt you'd somehow managed to get trapped in.

"There you go, all better. Now go get those warm clothes on and get in bed before the cold settles in too much." He insists gently wiping away the last of your tears before you returned to the bathroom.

Silence filled the space when you returned, saying nothing as you switched places with Minho. Sliding into the bed while he was in the bathroom. It wasn't like you'd never slept there before, staying with the boys frequently meant that you'd slept in all their beds at some point but never since your feelings for Minho had developed so much had you stayed in his. Never after you'd felt like you'd embarrassed yourself beyond repair in one evening either. Not realizing you were sniffling with a fresh batch of tears until Minho returned.

"Hey what's wrong rose? You've been upset all day. Please talk to me, we don't like when you're upset." Minho's brow furrows as he uses the paw of his sweater to gently wipe away the tears again.

"I-It's just so hard Minho. I don't know if I keep doing this." You feel exhausted from the alcohol, the excitement throughout the evening, and now an emotional breakdown too and yet you needed to get this off your chest or even that might not be enough to let you get rest tonight.

"What is? What's hard? What can't you do?" Minho asks feeling his heart bleed at your distress even if he was able to stay as calm as he was.

"L-Loving you...."

You had passed out nearly the moment those words had left your lips, but Minho couldn’t, not after your confession. It had been the last thing he’d seen coming after trying not to look desperate to you all day. Yet you’d confessed to him of all people and it weighed too heavily on his mind for the next two hours to even consider getting any sleep. Only getting maybe two hours in before an excited Jeongin bound in to try and wake you both up so everyone could come downstairs for Christmas. Though Minho ensured he never got to you before he shoved him out with hushing sound. Slipping down behind him to grab some water, coffee, and pain meds for when you’d wake up. Telling the boys you’d had a rough night, probably drank too much, and should be left alone to sleep as long as you needed. Not expecting you to already be shifting awake when he returned to the room. 

“Hey, you can sleep more if you want. It’s alright.” Minho gently brushes the hair out of your face as your eyes slowly blink open, leaning into the warmth of his touch without realizing, “I brought you meds and coffee if you’re felling hungover.”

You accept his help to sit up and take the meds, willing your fuzzy mind to clear enough to recall what happened the night before, “Minho...d-did I do anything last night? I-I can’t remember.”

Minho froze debating how he should answer that, he wanted to be honest with you, but after seeing how upset you were the night before he didn’t want to embarrass you at all, “W-Well, umm....”

“I-I said something didn’t I?” You could read his face for once, the calm demeanor gone and it telling you something had happened. The way his eyes widened at your question was enough to confirm what you thought as panic bubbled up and made your throat feel tight, “W-Whatever I said I didn’t-”

Minho cut you off by pressing his lips to yours quickly, feeling his own panic, “P-Please don’t say that you didn’t mean it. I think I would die if I lost the hope that you actually loved me back.”

The panic stopped almost instantly, feeling it dissipate as you processed his words, “L-Love you back?....Y-You mean you love me too? B-But you were acting like I was such a bother yesterday.”

Minho sits on the bed, pulling you into his arms before you could cry again, “I didn’t mean for it to come off that way. I-I just didn’t want to look desperate when I couldn’t think of a reason for you to love me too.” 

“You’re an idiot, I was literally like so obvious.” You whine softly and he chuckles though his focus seems to shift as his gaze falls to your lips, “You can kiss me again you know....a-after all we both just confessed so it would make sense to...”

Minho’s eyes flick back up to yours as a smirk forms on his face, but he makes no smart comment as he gives in to what both of you are wanting. Leaning in to kiss you again, less panicked this time as his lips softly meld with yours. Though the both of you were pouring too much emotion into it for it to become anything less than desperate. Now that you had each other you needed that more than air itself, it remaining sweet despite the way you both chased after each other as if afraid this would all disappear if you separated for any real stretch of time.  You feel the faintest trail as Minho’s hands move from holding you against his chest to cradling your head as he lays you back onto the bed. 

“If you want to take things slower then just say so. I-I just don’t want to let you go.” Minho’s voice comes out so light you wonder how you hear it over the beating of your own heart, especially with how it races when his lips press a fleeting trail down your jaw between his words. 

“Y-You don’t ever have to slow down Minho, I’ve wanted this.....wanted you for too long to do that now.” You insist with a low moan as his lips press a little firmer against a sweet spot on your neck.

Minho hums against your skin too caught up in you to care about words when he could show you how he felt better anyways. His hands gripping at your sides, thumbs rubbing soft circles as if he’s afraid he’ll break you by being too firm. So you decide to make a larger move, reaching to grip the hem of his sweater and pull it off him, letting your hands and eyes roam his newly exposed skin. The feel of his warm skin beneath your fingertips heating you up inside, the flame of desire flaring up faster than you would have thought possible if the person before you had been anyone other than Minho. Minho’s hands gripping yours before looking up at you for permission, hesitating even as you nod.

“You sure you won’t be too cold?” Minho’s fingers peak under the hem to rub gently at your skin beneath it.

“Well if I am then I guess you’ll just have to warm me up.” Your words seem to light the same fire in Minho as he doesn’t hesitate a second longer to his sweater off you. Hands running over your stomach to squeeze your breasts through the bra, leaning down to kiss you again.

“Guess I will.” Minho speaks against your lips, tone deepening as he lowers again moving to rid you of your bra as his lips trail towards your chest. You nipples pebbling slightly from the frigid air and his advances, but noticing the unpleasant chill that runs through you he presses against you more, letting his warmth radiate onto you. His warm mouth closing around your one nipple as his hand toys with and warms the other, switching between them with a new path of kisses to make sure they get equal attention.  Until he gets impatient to show his affections elsewhere and his mouth lowers while adding soft nips between kisses to reach the hem of the sweatpants he gave you to wear. His fingers nimble as they work on the tie, though he doesn’t do more than that until he has permission from you to pull them down and leave you in only your panties.

“Oh the thoughts I had while helping you get untangled from your shirt last night my flower, and to think now a few of them are becoming reality.” Minho places a kiss to your hip, as his hands gently spread your legs, loving the way he’s able to fluster you so easily, “I’ve been dying for a taste and you’re not making it any easier for me. May I?” 

The way he drags his thumb over the wet patch of your panties makes it hard to respond when you’re moaning and focused on that surge of pleasure, but the thought of getting something more urges you to form words, “Y-Yes please, I’ve been wanting to feel your mouth.”

“All you had to do was ask precious.” Minho gently blows against the wet patch making you squirm before kissing your thigh and slipping off your panties and lowering himself between your legs, placing the gentlest of kisses to your clit. The way you whine impatiently makes him chuckle against your core only making you squirm, his thumbs rubbing softly against your plush thighs as he grips them firmly to keep them open instead of impeding his work. He has no intent on tormenting you with teasing, not this morning anyways, but he still wants to savor the moment. The way he licks through your folds slow yet firm enough to spark delicious waves of pleasure through you, enough so that you can’t complain too much about his pace. Minho’s tongue and lips working everywhere to get every last drop of you that he can, while also focusing on your reactions to find what makes you feel the best. Knowing that his own patience will wear thin soon enough and he wants to know how to throw you over that sweet edge with more intensity than you thought possible, wanting to make all of you feel as amazing as his heart did upon hearing your confession. 

“M-Minho please, I want to feel all of you.” Desperation bleeds into your words and actions as you squirm against his grip, hips trying to roll against his mouth and it has his eyes darkening with a new surge of lust. Nearly giving into you pleas, but you’re his first priority and it has him pulling away slightly making you whimper.

“Shh pretty girl, shh.” Minho coos softly, grip loosening as he runs his hands over your thighs and hips trying to get you to relax some, “Calm down, don’t get so worked up. I’ll give you what you want, I promise. You just need to calm down so that I can get you ready for me. We’ve waited a long time I know, but you can be good and wait just a little longer can’t you?”

This time a simple nod isn’t enough for him as he’s a little firmer with you in this moment, pinching your thigh lightly as he demands your words, “Y-Yes sir, I can be good for you.”

Minho has to take a deep, shuttering breath when he hears the word sir fall from your lips so perfectly, now was not the time to lose control, not when he wanted to show you every emotion he’d had trapped inside for so long. Not when he knew there’d be plenty of time for that later. Yet, it does have him snap a little as he dives between your legs again with more purpose. Lips suckling and kissing your clit like his survival depended on it, eyes locked on your face as he feels your fingers weave into his hair. The soft tug you give has him moaning against your clit, only adding to that pleasure as he eases a finger in, though it’s not long before he’s able to add another. Curling them with each thrust in search of the spot that would have you trembling against him, thriving off the pleasure he’d able to feed you right now, nothing else in the world mattering more than your cries for him and the way you lose yourself to the sensations. He knows he’s found that spot, when you’re clenching around him, practically sucking his fingers in, thighs shaking as your edge hovers so close and yet just barely out of reach. 

“Minho, please I’m close. Please make me cum or give me your cock, I-I don’t know how much longer I can wait.” Your pleas sound magical to Minho, it being enough for him to give you what you want, speeding up his fingers as his tongue flicks against your clit as he brings it between his lips again. Willing to throw your over the edge for the first time, so that he can have you losing his own patience as your nails drag lightly over his shoulders. The was you fall apart beneath him is like a work of art, the most beautiful Minho has ever seen as he slips his fingers from your spasming core to gently lick over you and ride you through the pleasure until you come back to him. Kissing you briefly before licking his fingers clean while keeping his eyes locked on yours.

“You’re sweeter than I ever could have imagined my flower.” Minho hums in approval, his smirk almost showing more in his eyes than on his lips. You’re quick to respond though not wanting him to drag it out any longer.

“I bet we’d taste sweeter together, but there’s only one way to find that out now isn’t there?” You purr back as your fingers work to untie his sweatpants, gripping both them and his undergarments to impatiently push both down at once. Freeing his beautiful, hardened length to you finally. Not giving him to to ask for your permission before you rub his tip through your folds, leg locking around his waist to urge his hips closer. Your actions seem to be enough as he places his hands on either side of you, slowly pushing in and leaning in as he gives you a moment to adjust to him.

“You were awfully loud earlier flower, if you don’t quiet down then all the boys will know what we’ve been up to. Do you want that?” Minho’s question is somewhat serious, but it also holds a teasing to it as he’s proud of the fact that he can make you feel good enough to be so loud. You getting him back by rolling your hips against him and earning a groan from him. Hands slipping around his neck to tug him down and tease his lips with your own.

“Why don’t you shut me up then?” Your words are almost daring and they have him crashing his lips messily against yours as his own hips start to move against you. The patience between you both is gone as he finds a quick pace and yet he’s not manhandling or overly rough in his treatment, the erotic scene still one of passionate lovers. Baring their emotions to each other in the most desperate of ways despite not being able to handle a slow pace any longer. It being everything you could have asked for and more, right now you didn’t need the soft, slow lovemaking. You need this the desperate lovemaking, the kind that showed that Minho had been longing for you just as much as you’d been longing for him. The kind that showed that you were his now and that he would show you that in every way possible for as long as you would ask it of him. Where every move he made was to find what made you feel best, because you were what he most cared for in this world and where it was so much better than he could have imagined that he wasn’t sure if he could hold off. Though he was intent on your pleasure coming first as he angled himself to perfectly hit the spots he found brought you the most pleasure with each drag of his cock, thumb rubbing quick circles into your clit as his other hand tangled into your hair to keep your lips pressed against his. Taking in all of your moans as your pleasure explodes once more, the feeling of you cumming on his cock enough to send him spiraling into his own high as he moans into your mouth in response. Slowing his thrusts as he rides you both through your highs. Hands gently tracing shapes over your heated flesh, finding you glowing in the aftermath of your climax.

“Come on my flower, I’ll help you shower before we join the others.” Minho kisses your forehead softly before scooping you up to take you to the bathroom. Getting you in the steaming shower as quickly as he can so that you won’t have to face the cold while bare for too long and so that you two can be quick enough to be able to get some food in before the others ate everything. Not that he wouldn’t cook you up a good breakfast if it came down to it. Willing to shower you in all affections imaginable after what you both had just done. Though before long Minho had you both cleaned up and in warm fresh clothes, going down the stairs to join the others.

“Weren’t you wearing something different this morning?” Jisung questions Minho slyly as if they hadn’t all heard what you two had been up to earlier. Minho knew what he meant, but still didn’t give him the satisfaction.

“Yeah well I took a shower, so I put on something else.” Minho shrugs pulling out a seat for you, before taking his own so you two could eat breakfast as well.

“Oh did Y/N shower too? Her hair is all damp still.” Jisung innocently inquires taking a bite of his pancake trying to hide his smug expression. Minho gently moving your damp hair away from your bare skin so that it wouldn’t get too chilled.

“Well then you obviously know the answer.” Minho rolls his eyes adding his portion of whipped cream and other sweet toppings to your plate instead of his own.

“Hm I just find that interesting considering we only heard one shower running.” Jisung smirks at you both as the others snicker and chuckle, teasing you all through breakfast while exchanging knowing looks. 

The teasing had died down some later as you all gathered around to exchange gifts. Feeling your heart stutter as you hold Minho’s in your hands, the man seeming flustered as you go to open it. Finding a small necklace inside one that looked like a lifeline with a heart at the end, flipping it over to find his initials on the back besides yours. 

“So if things had been different this would have been when I confessed.” He admits in a soft whisper into your ear,  a blush adorning his cheeks so beautifully as you laugh softly.

“It’s alright I liked the way things turned out much better anyways.” Minho admits before the guys pretend to gag and whine at all the pda they were witnessing.

“Alright enough of the mushy stuff, you have to open mine next.” Hyunjin dramatically insists shoving his gift in front of you, a pretty envelope sitting on top and beckoning you to open the card first. Your attention immediately drawn to a special little note at the bottom...

PS. Minho’s name was the only one in that hat.

“Well guess I ruined your little plan huh?” You tease, flustering along with him as he presses a soft kiss to your cheek in front of everyone.

[poncho-wearingpinocchio-blog]

Say his name

San x Fem. Reader (x Seonghwa kind of) ✏️ Word count: 3.2k 🏷 Genre: smut, angst 🚨 Warnings: cheating, fingering, explicit sex, oral, orgasm denial, cream pie... just basically some shades of filth

This is the first thing I post here, so go easy on me, please. 😬

You stumble out of bed in a sleepy haze. The clock marks 2:35am as you drag your feet towards the kitchen, the oversized shirt you wore as a nightgown crumpled and damp in sweat due to the heat of that summer night.

Your mouth is dry from binge-drinking with your coworkers from 8 to 11pm, when you arrived home completely drunk and proceeded to nap on the couch. Given that you woke up in your bed and in San's shirt, you figured that he found you, changed you and carried you to bed. He worked long hours and often came home close to midnight, but no matter how tired he was, San always made sure to care for you the best he could.

You crossed the hallway still feeling a bit drunk, but your need to hydrate was stronger than your willingness to sleep through the weekend.

As you entered the kitchen, you found San sitting alone on the island, frowning to a half-eaten slice of chocolate cake on his plate. The dim room was lit only by the LED tape under the wall cabinets, but you could still see that your boyfriend had a somewhat upset expression.

"Sani?" you approached him slowly "Is everything alright? When did you get home?"

He shot a tiny smile in your direction, although his eyes didn't smile with him.

"I came around midnight, you were drooling all over the new pillows on the couch."

You blushed, leaning against the counter next to him.

"We all went to celebrate Seonghwa's birthday after work, I guess we celebrated a little too much..."

"I guess you forgot your liver is waaaaay past 20 already" he teased, getting up to put his plate on the sink.

"But my heart is like 18" you countered, putting your elbows on the counter and resting your chin on your hands.

San half-smiled at you, opening the fridge door to get you a cup of water which you eagerly chugged, as your boyfriend fidgeted with a spot on the countertop opposite to where you stood.

You silently watched him for a few seconds before asking.

"Sani, what's wrong?"

He sighed looking down, his dark bangs preventing you from seeing his eyes. When he lifted his head next, his gaze pierced you, eyes squinting under furrowed brows.

"Seonghwa? Really?" his tone was low and cold, but still very calm – unlike his hands, that twitched a little as he spoke.

"I don't..."

"You don't know what I'm talking about?" he paused, looking at your dumbfounded expression with a single raised eyebrow. "I'm talking about how when I came home, I found you shitfaced on our couch – hey, no big deal, we've all been there. So I slid my arms around you to carry you to bed and imagine my surprise when you burrowed your face in my neck and moaned Seonghwa's name?!"

You were petrified. The memories from earlier that night flashed in your head: how you all went to a soju bar near your company; how you sat next to Seonghwa, your coworker and friend of many years; how you punched him in the chest anytime he made a joke on your sleepiness at work; how you laughed together at Hoseok's jokes, and for just a few seconds you thought you saw him looking at your lips before turning away; how you suddenly became very aware of your left thigh inadvertently brushing his right one under the table; how he turned to face you every time you opened your mouth to talk, and that hint of darkness that flashed in his eyes on occasion made your lower stomach sink a little; how you all left the bar in wobbling legs, and he placed an arm around you waist as he helped you walk to your Uber.

How he suddenly leaned in and kissed you when you turned to say goodbye. How you pressed yourself against him, tugging on his hair not to get him off but to kiss him deeper.

San was still looking at you, waiting for any explanation. You closed your mouth and clenched your jaw, unsure of what or how much you should say right now.

"Look, I don't expect you to only fantasize about me, but it's a little weird thinking you fantasize about a friend of yours..." he continued, taking his eyes off you. "But the weirdest thing was returning here to collect your stuff and finding these messages on your phone."

Your stomach sank. You turned your head to follow his gaze and found your phone at the edge of the counter, where you drunkenly tossed it. You grabbed it and pressed home, turning on your lock screen and revealing three new text messages:

[Park Seonghwa – 2h ago] Y/N I'm so sorryyy

[Park Seonghwa – 2h ago] acgualy, I'm not...

[Park Seonghwa – 2h ago] I can still feel tour pulling on my hair and Idonlt know if its I just ruined everything but i need... (read more)

Your treacherous eyes started to unintentionally tear up as you read the drunken messages, and you had to muster up all of your courage to look at San. He was staring at you with a blank expression. You could almost say he was just sleepy if it wasn't for how hard his hands were clenched, crossed through his chest.

"Sani, I- I'm sorry..." you whimpered in a weak voice. "We both had A LOT to drink tonight, and when we said goodbye he suddenly kissed me... I didn't expect it-" you paused to scrutinize his expression, to stall, to breathe. "...but I did kiss him back, I'm so sorry... It was only this one kiss, then I broke it off and got in the Uber."

San swallowed, turning his face away from you and getting up to pace behind the kitchen island that separated you both.

"Do you want him?"

"I..."

Seonghwa and you were friends ever since you started working at your company, 5 years ago. He worked at the table right next to yours, so chatting and gossiping about work and life came naturally. He showed you the best restaurants to lunch, and you brought your favorite snacks to share with him during coffee breaks. You talked about San to him, and he gave awful advice he swore by whenever you had to buy your boyfriend a gift or make amends after a silly argument. Truth is, by the end of your first year working together you were so close that you could comfortably talk about anything – from ranking sex positions to tips and tricks that helped with constipation.

People at your office never wondered or gossiped about you two because you had San and Seonghwa had a different girl for every month. He and San met a few times already and seemed to get along great, but you didn't bother to meet his monthly choices as it was hard to keep track. You didn't mind that he was such a fuckboy, as he was always kind and respectful with his platonic female friends, including you. Your friendship was never more than fraternal and you never thought about him as a penis-having creature – that is until something came onto him tonight.

"Answer me, Y/N." San's voice hit you like an ice pick through your gut. "Do you want him? Are you curious for him?" he walked up to you, making sure you couldn't avoid his gaze.

"I want YOU. I love YOU. I want to be with YOU."

"That was not my question."

In all truth, you didn't want to answer him directly because you didn't want to lie to him. It was just one kiss alright, and you did break it off (eventually...), but as soon as you got in your Uber, you couldn't help but think about how urgently Seonghwa's hands grabbed your waist and tugged at your shirt after you pulled him in to you... You felt bad for wanting to hold onto the feeling of his tongue parting your lips, and you involuntarily clenched around nothing at the memory of his ragged breathing while he hungrily bit your bottom lip right before you pushed him away. 

"...I did want him... like that. At that moment."

You tried to look down to break eye contact, but San lightly pressed you against the counter and gently lifted your chin with his hand.

Your eyes were tearing up and you knew your face was already a mess, but San remained ice-cold as he looked down on you. His jaw was clenched hard, lips vaguely pursed, eyes slanted and dark, but his gestures and voice remained tranquil.

Unexpectedly, he pressed his lips against yours, gently kissing you. His hands hiked under your oversized T-shirt to pull your waist toward him, as you slowly closed your eyes and gave in.

"Sani... Wha-" you started to talk, unsure of what was going through his mind, but he cut you out with a deeper kiss, searching your tongue with his, moving his left hand to cup your breast and play with your nipple.

Your head was spinning from the combination of San's unexpected neediness in face of your confession, Seonghwa's earlier mindfucking actions and all the leftover alcohol in your system.

A small part of you wanted to stop San, to make him talk to you, to figure it all out in a more responsible way... But when he licked his fingers and pushed them down your panties and along your folds, your mind just succumbed to whatever solution that was.

"Fuck, San..." you breathed around his ear, while he nibbed on the skin of your neck and started rubbing lazy circles around your clit. Your hands began to trail his body, feeling his growing erection over his jeans while pulling his hair with your other hand.

San smirked as he noticed how wet you already were, using his fingers to collect some of that wetness and use it to rub your bud a little harder. He rocked his hips in your hand after hearing you moan quietly due to his ministrations. Your panties (and San's hand were soaked), and you weren't sure if this was your reaction to his cold dominance or to the thought of Seonghwa's body on you that still lingered in the back of your head...

Without a warning, San took his hand from you and turned you around, pressing your abdomen to the countertop and his hard-on to your semi-bare ass.

He then returned his right hand to your center, slowly caressing your clitoris while putting his left hand around your neck. His body leaned into you, and he whispered behind your ear: "I'll do you a favor and fuck you like this, so you can pretend I'm him."

An alarm went off somewhere in the back of your head. "San, don't-" you started to say, trying to shift your body in order to look at his face, but he forced your head forward while sucking on your ear lobe. At the same time, he inserted two fingers inside you, making your attention diverted almost entirely to the warmth on your lower body that started to creep up, trying to take you.

"Don't worry babe, I want you to enjoy this" he said in a calm and firm manner, while still sucking and licking at the skin behind your neck. "Now, take off your panties for me".

Though you were still unsure about his behavior, it was hard to think with a clear mind while San was knuckle-deep inside you. He was skilled with his hands and already knew you inside out, alternating between curving his fingers onto your G-spot and scissoring them to stretch your walls. You were panting and whining as you obliged and slid down you lacy red underwear with some difficulty, since your legs had already began to feel like jelly under San's expert touch.

At this point, he removed his hand from you and went silent for a minute. All you could hear where the sounds of him unbuckling his belt, and that alone made you clench in anticipation.

You turned your head slightly to look at him, but San grabbed you again and gently shoved your torso down towards the counter.

"No no no no. I want you to get it out of your system. I won't be Choi San for you right now".

"Sani, please."

You felt him tease your entrance with the tip of his cock, your walls way ahead of your mind, convulsing around the idea of him. When he talked again, his voice was dark and low.

"I want you to think of Seonghwa while I ravage you. I won't be as gentle as always. And as your punishment, you don't get to come. I won't let you."

This is fucked up, part of you knew. But your guilt and shame mixed with your lust and desire, and even though you tried so hard not to give in to his stupid and unhealthy idea, part of you was already imagining it was Seonghwa's cock lining up to your entrance, and Seonghwa's hands holding your back firmly in place over the cold marble top.

"Y/N, do you agree to these terms?" San's voice was firm and demanding, and his hands were both holding you in place by the small on you back and teasing your dripping cunt, running his fingers through your slit and pressing onto your swollen clit. Still, you knew he would stop it all if you just asked. 

If only you wanted him to stop.

Instead, you whimpered "...yes" in a breathy voice.

"Then I'm gonna fucking ruin you."

He paused for a moment, leaving you to anxiously wait for his next move.

And then he moved.

You were expecting him to enter you at once as punishment, but he did just the opposite. He slowly pushed just his tip inside you, and you tried to rock your hips back into him, but he held you steady by the ass, his fingers digging hard on your skin in his effort not to fuck you into the countertop.

"Sani, I need you."

"Calling for your boyfriend won't get you anywhere."

His dick dug slightly further into you, its lavish girth filling you instantly, but only to be quickly withdrawn, leaving you gasping and wanting.

"Sani..."

A hand slapped hard on your ass, making you jolt a bit forward and completely off of his cock.

"Please, just fuck me already."

Everything went quiet for a moment while you heard him shuffle behind you. Without a warning, you felt his tongue running across your slit, licking you from your clitoris to your asshole. You jumped in surprise and arched your back, but he maintained his firm grip on your hips.

"After having a taste of other lips tonight, weren't you left wondering how would they feel kissing you somewhere else?"

What a low blow. The conscious effort you were making to not give in to this game and to keep Seonghwa out of your mind went of the window with that. You admired his plump lips even before trying them out for yourself. Memories of him once boasting about how his tongue was his best muscle came to your mind, and though you laughed and teased him at the time, now you could only imagine him licking at your wet core.

San returned to your folds, his nose brushing on your center, his mouth gently sucking on your clitoris, making you moan harshly. Except that it was Seonghwa's face you were seeing on your head, dark brows creased as he was eating you out, that fucking smirk on his face watching you slowly come undone under his lips. He trailed his tongue inside you, making out with your sex as eagerly as he did with your lips earlier. He flattened his tongue and eased the grip on your hips. You unconsciously moved your ass trying to ride his face, chasing your fast approaching climax.

So, so close.

Suddenly, he removed his mouth from you, leaving you writhing against the air, looking in despair for any friction to send you over the edge you were left dangling.

"No!! Please, I need it so much..."

"Did you forget your boyfriend grounded you?" You could hear him pacing behind you, stalling, waiting for you to cool down. "The only way you're gonna come tonight is if you say the name on your mind right now."

"S-S..."

"Sorry, I didn't catch that."

"-ng please-"

"and I wanted to fill you up so fucking much right now." 

"Seong-hwa..."

Fuck. You froze in place for a moment, almost forgetting your need, focused on his reaction. When you were about to turn and face him, you felt him grab your hair in one hand and slowly thrust all the way in, tearing up your walls as he bottomed down inside you with a grunt. 

"Then you better take it."

The pace in which he pounded into you was brutal from the beginning. The obscene, wet sounds of his hips smacking into your dripping cunt were only muffled by your own hard and incoherent moans.

San's cock was all too familiar to you, but your freaking mind managed to make it feel so much different as flashes of Seonghwa's face crossed your mind. You still felt San, but you could clearly see Seonghwa's contorted expression as he mercilessly hammered you. You could feel his dick throbbing every time you squeezed around him, your core aching for release with every deep groan that escaped his lips when he reached your deepest spot.

"I c-can't- I'mm gonna cumm"

San pulled on your hair, bringing you closer to his body, shifting the angle his cock drove into you. 

"Say it. Say the name-"

"S-Seonng-hwWaaaAaa"

You came hard with Seonghwa's name on your lips, shaking uncontrollably under San, your juices dripping from his twitching cock to your trembling legs.

"fuckfuckfuck I'll fill you up ssso good -shiiit, I'm cominggghfd"

San came inside you in a few deep thrusts. He stayed in place breathing while both of you regained your breath, his cum slowly running form you around his softening cock and to the kitchen floor.

"Ok, what was that...?"

He barely gave you time to turn before pulling up his boxers to leave. You tried to grab a hold of his wrist, but he managed to slide away from your grip, not stopping to look at you until he was almost on the hallway.

"I hope you two had fun today." he said, wearing the weirdest, darkest face as he turned again and headed for your bedroom.

"San!! SHIT."

You got up to follow him, wanting to scream at him for making this stupid game, wanting to scream at Seonghwa for the mess he made out of you two, wanting to scream at yourself for every life decision you made in these last hours, wanting to cry and break something and throw stuff and-

But something stopped you on your tracks, making your heart sink heavily on your chest.

On the barstool next to where San stood, you found your cellphone unblocked. On the screen, a still ongoing call – Park Seonghwa, 23min 17s.

You reached your cold-sweating hands to the phone.

23min 18s.

How... Why... When did San...?

23min 19s.

"S-Seonghwa, I..."

23min 20s

A short, trembling breath from the other side. Then nothing.

Call ended.

[timehealsfanfictionbka]

Time Heals.....Chapter Fifty-Three

“Robyn, why are we at the airport?” Chris asked as she pulled into a parking spot in the long term airport parking.

“If I say something is a surprise, why are you asking me about what I’m doing?”

“Because it’s the same thing you’ve done to me. We’re switching roles, right?”

“No, I’m just pulling a you on you and besides I’m better at this anyway.”

“And why you say that?”

“Because I know how to ignore you. Now out the car, Christopher.”

Chris sucked his teeth and climbed out of the passenger seat as Robyn turned off the car and got out. She moved to the trunk and opened it before pointing at two small duffle bags, “can you get our bags please?”

“If you tell me where we’re going.”

“We can go home if you gonna be acting like this. Just grab the bags.”

“You so damn mean and aggressive.”

“I am not. I’m trying to do something nice for you.”

“Sure.”

Robyn rolled her eyes and started walking towards the airport entrance with Chris following behind her. She stopped at a kiosk to check in and get their tickets before heading towards the gate. Chris looked at the departure screen for the location that corresponds to their gate and smiled, “New Orleans, huh?”

“Surprised you took the time to look at the screens. You normally just walk past them.”

“Well normally, I know where I’m going so I don’t have to look. What made you pick New Orleans?”

“I always wanted to go so why not take my boyfriend with me.”

“I’m honored.”

“You should be.”

Chris rolled his eyes and Robyn laughed as she found some seats near the service desk. Chris sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, “please tell me we’re gonna do one of their boat cruises.”

“We are. We’ll discuss the choices when we get there.”

“Why are we coming back on Sunday?”

“Because I have a job to be at on Monday.”

“You making me feel like a cheap date.”

“Boy, this was not planned months ago so I spent a nice little bag. Far from a cheap date.

“A weekend isn’t that long though.”

“If you know how to plan your time, a weekend is long enough.”

“Touché. How long is the flight?”

“About an hour and fifteen.”

“Really? I didn’t realize it was that short. We could’ve been came here.”

“I have a life though so we couldn’t have just went to New Orleans.”

“You don’t work on weekends, right?”

“Not answering that.”

“Robyn. I thought we talked about this.”

“Talked about what? I told you I would stop bringing work home.”

“Yea but didn’t mean trade it out for going to work on the weekends.”

“It’s only for a few hours.”

“Few hours too long. Come on, Babe.”

“Don’t you start fussing at me.”

“Somebody needs to. You were supposed to be taking time for yourself when the girls are with me.”

“I am. I just happened to be working during that time.”

“Am I gonna have to start making sure you take time off?”

“No.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. I do not need you looking over my shoulder.”

“Really? I don’t have a problem coming over and finding something other than work for you to do.”

“I bet you don’t. Nasty.”

“I wasn’t even thinking like that. And you call me nasty.”

“My Bad.”

“Question.”

“What?”

“Do I get a biting reprieve this weekend?”

“Do you want one?”

“I think so.”

“you got it.”

Chris furrowed his brow, “that was too easy.”

“What? You wanted me one so I’m giving you one. All you had to do was say something.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. Even though I think you like it just as much as I do.”

“You just gonna switch it out for something else, aren’t you?”

“No and even if I was, why would I tell you? I never told you when I was gonna bite you, did I?”

“That’s-“

 “Now boarding first class to New Orleans, Louisiana”

  Chris was interrupted as the attendant came over the loudspeaker. Robyn pulled their boarding passes out of her pocket while Chris grabbed both of their bags. He followed behind her as they moved to the door. Within a few minutes, they were in their assigned seats with their bags tucked underneath their feet.

“You hungry?” Robyn asked as she started digging around in her purse.

“No, I’m good. You?”

Robyn held up a sandwich and a soda, “nope, I’m good.”

“Where in the hell did you get that?”

“Mama Fenty. I was still hungry after dinner so she packed me something.”

“Why are you still hungry? It’s been barely been a few hours.”

“Because I am.”

“Aren’t we eating dinner when we land? It’s only a one hour flight.”

“And? Your point is?”

“Never mind.”

“I’m not pregnant so don’t even think it.”

“How do you know?”

“Considering I’ve been pregnant before, I think I would know better than you.”

“Ok.”

“Chris, when I told you about that, it was not for you to watch me to think I’m pregnant or not. I know the risks but I also know how to take care of myself. I’m not pregnant.”

“I said Ok.”

“You said ok but that’s not what you mean. I do not want to be concerned about how much I eat or sleep because you’re gonna start thinking I’m pregnant. If I was, I’d tell you. This isn’t 8 years ago. Relax.”

“I respect that and I’m sorry.”

“Honestly, I don’t need the sorry, just stop doing it.”

“You got it.”

Chris leaned over and kissed her cheek and Robyn squeezed his hand, “love you.”

“Love you too.”

                                                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 “Maison de la Luz,” Chris said in disbelief as he walked into the suite, “is this a hotel or apartment building?”

Robyn laughed as she sat down on the couch, “it’s a hotel but all their rooms are suites. You like it?”

“It’s beautiful. I could live in a place like this.”

“Really? Wasn’t expecting you to like something this extravagant.”

“I don’t think it’s too extravagant. It’s just a nice space.”

“You made a nice choice, Babe. Maybe better than mine.”

“I think this place and Italy are on the same level. So we got some time before dinner, what you wanna do?”

“What’s after dinner?”

“I didn’t plan anything for tonight. Tomorrow, I wanted to walk the French Quarter before the dinner cruise”

“We should see if they have any movie theaters or something.”

“Old or new?”

“Movies?”

“Yea.”

“I think an older movie would be good.”

“How about we turn dinner into takeout and watch an older movie here?”

“You wanna stay in with me?”

“I think I wanna hang out with my boyfriend instead of dating him for a night.”

“There’s a difference?”

“Big difference. It’s about intimacy, not romance.”

“Can you have one without the other?”

“Absolutely. We were intimate friends without romance for years.”

“But we’re not friends.”

“We’re not? So since we started dating that means we stopped being friends?”

“No, I just think we’re deeper than friends.”

“These things aren’t mutually exclusive. We can be lovers and friends but that’s if we really want to.”

“If you believe it’s possible then so do I.”

Robyn smiled, “you’ll see.”

“I’m trusting you.”

   Robyn scrolled through a few pay per view channels before settling on one showing the movie Carmen Jones featuring Dorothy Dandridge. Chris was still in the shower when their food order arrived. She spread it out buffet-style on a console that was placed against the back of the couch.

“Babe, the food is here!”

“You don’t have to yell, I’m right here.”

Robyn turned around to see Chris coming to sit next to her on the couch, “I thought you fell asleep in there.”

“Nah, just getting my mind together.”

“What you mean?”

“I gotta get in friendship mode, Ms. Fenty.”

“That required an extended shower?”

Chris shrugged his shoulders.

“You were in there jerking off, weren’t you?” Robyn said with a laugh.

“Hey, it was either that or this goes from movie night to date night real quick.”

“I could’ve handled that for you.”

“Friend Robyn doesn’t give me a handjob.”

“I guess.”

“You thought about it before, didn’t you?”

“I had a crush on you back then, of course I thought about it.”

“I mean you’ve never seen me naked.”

“No, you never knew that I saw you naked. Big difference.”

“When did you see me naked?”

“In Barbados, when I brought you with me that one summer.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“Because you’re a lightweight with liquor. We went out with Leandra and Melissa, you got absolutely shitfaced on rum punch and I had to clean you up before my mother got home.”

“That was you? I swore I was dreaming that.”

Robyn laughed as she ate a piece of crawfish bread, “you’d be amazed how much stuff I did for you that you’d probably never remember.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What was there to say? I helped you out when you were drunk, no big deal.”

“How much stuff have you done that I don’t remember or know about?”

“None of your business. You want me to fix your plate?”

“No, I got it.”

“Make sure to get some crawfish bread, it’s really good. I should’ve ordered another serving.”

“Are you really gonna ignore my question?”

“I didn’t ignore it, I answered it then changed the subject. Now hurry up so we can watch the movie properly.”

Chris moved to make him a plate of food before sitting back down on the couch next to her. Robyn leaned her head on his shoulder and Chris kissed her temple  as she pressed play on the movie.

   “Come on, you’re cheating,” Robyn grumbled.

Chris laughed as he gathered the cards in his hand to shuffle them again, “It’s not my fault you suck.”

“I do not suck. You’re cheating.”

“Whatever. Put the money back on the table.”

Robyn playfully stomped her foot as she threw the three ones she had in her hand back into the pile, “what are we playing next?”

“Well I don’t wanna take all your money so… truth or dare?”

“Isn’t your arrogance cute? You won the last game we played so you can go first.”

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

Chris tapped the playing cards against his chin before he started shuffling them between his hands again, “Did you ever try to seduce me while you were in college?”

“Did I what?”

“Robyn, you heard me.”

“I’m just making sure. What would make you ask me that?”

“The first time I flew to visit you in school and we stayed at that hotel, I distinctly remember you acting a lot flirty.”

Robyn chuckled, “to be honest, no I never tried to seduce you.”

“Why not?”

“Two reasons. One, you were easy, I really didn’t have to try; I could’ve just told you I wanted to have sex and you would’ve done it. Two, you were easy and there was nothing to be gained from us having sex.”

“I don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted.”

“Both would suffice.”

“So what was the outfits and stuff about?”

“Chris, I was 21 and away from home with my best friend. I just wanted to have fun. If having sex with you was the motive, I would’ve done a lot more than brush my ass up against you while we were lying in bed.”

“Listen, you had my body utterly confused that weekend.”

Robyn laughed, “why?”

“I’m sleeping in the bed with you. You have on nothing but a crop top and a pair of leggings with not a panty line in sight and your ass is literally pressed directly against my dick. And whenever I would move, you would move with me. It drove me crazy.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because it drove me crazy,” Chris replied with a wink.

“You’re gross.”

“You love me.”

“Truth or dare, Christopher.”

“Dare.”

“You would pick dare, wouldn’t you? Stand on the balcony naked.”

“Full nude or underwear on?”

“Naked means naked. Full nude, Mr. Brown.”

“Got it.”

Chris sat the playing cards down on the coffee table and stood up to pull his shirt over his head.

“Your piercings heal good?”

“Yea, I haven’t had a problem with them,” Chris replied as he tugged his boxers and pants down at the same time, “yours?”

“Same.”

Chris toed off his socks then stood with his hands on his hips, “good?”

“You’re good. To the balcony.”

“How long?”

“Two minutes should do it.”

Chris moved to the balcony with Robyn following behind him. She giggled as he paused behind the curtains, “what’s the matter?”

“There’s people outside.”

“Police?”

“No.”

“Children?”

“No.”

“So what’s the problem? It’s not like the balcony is facing the street. You’ll be alright.”

Chris turned and looked at her, “all this because I won a few hands of Poker?”

“Now I am not the vengeful type but a dare is a dare. Go.”

Chris huffed as he stepped onto the balcony. Robyn set the timer on her phone for 2 minutes then leaned against the wall to watch Chris through the window.

“Don’t lean over either trying to hide, stand up, Christopher.”

“I am so gonna get you, Robyn.”

“You can try. One minute left.”

Another minute went by and Robyn called him back in. She looked down and bit down on her lip, “cold?”

“Don’t try and play me like that. Even if it’s freezing, not gonna happen”

Robyn laughed as she moved to toss Chris’s clothes at him. He sat them down on a nearby chair and Robyn frowned at him, “uh excuse me, shouldn’t you be getting dressed?”

“Nah but you should be getting undressed.”

“Friendship, Christopher.”

“You love killing my fun, Robyn.”

“You don’t know how to have fun without trying to get me naked.”

“Now that’s a lie.”

“Yea right.”

“And that’s hypocritical as your first dare was to get me naked.”

“You could’ve refused.”

“That ruins the whole premise of truth or dare, though”

“Never said there were rules.”

Chris sucked his teeth as he pulled his pants on and tossed his boxers on top of his shirt that was still left in the chair, “what time is it?”

“Almost 11. Why you tired?”

“Nah but you look like it. I forget you can’t be up all times of the night, Grandma.”

“I am not old so fuck you.”

“You- never  mind.”

Robyn smirked as she took a sip of her water, “surprised you caught yourself. We cuddled as friends right?”

“Yea.”

“Good.”

Robyn set her glass down and walked over to straddle Chris’s lap. He wrapped his arms around her back as she tucked her face into his neck, “I’m guessing this is what you meant by intimate but not romantic.”

“Yea. Sometimes I just want to cuddle with you.”

“We don’t have to be in friendship mode for that.”

“I know but I want to. I miss when we were younger where I could cuddle with you or sit on your lap and not be concerned about whether it would be received as sexual or not. Romance comes with expectations.”

“Remember when we went to Barbados and you took me swimming.”

“And you freaked out because you thought you saw a shark.”

“That was a big ass fish, first of all. Secondly, that’s not the part I was referring to.”

“You mean when you called yourself water dancing?”

“Yes.”

“I can admit that was cute, even though you almost made me seasick.”

“Hey, you let me spin you around though.”

“I did.”

“Remember the first night you stayed over.”

“You mean you sneaked me into your house. I’m surprised Mama J didn’t try to kill me.”

“She loved you besides she knew you were coming over.”

“No she didn’t.”

“Yes, she did. I told her the night before.”

“So why did you have me come in through your window?”

“I didn’t feel like getting up to open the door and my bedroom window was already open.”

“What the fuck?”

Chris laughed, “Sorry.”

“I almost broke my damn ankle climbing through that window.”

“I thought you would be more limber, Ms. Track Runner.”

“Fuck you.”

“I knew then you’d do anything for me.”

“And you took advantage of it.”

“No, I didn’t. I didn’t appreciate it as much as I should’ve but I did not take advantage of it.”

“Ch….please.”

“You really think that?”

“Can you really look back on our childhood and think you didn’t take advantage of my loyalty to you?”

Chris sighed and moved his fingertips along the skin of her back, “I concede that I did have my moments.”

“Thank you.”

“So what’s the plan for tomorrow?”

“Figured we’d wander around the French Quarter and downtown then do the jazz dinner cruise.”

“Sounds good. Can we get out of friendship mode real quick?’

“Depends on why.”

“I wanna kiss you.”

“We kissed as friends.”

“That is true,” Chris cupped her chin and pecked her lips, “you know we did do a lot of relationship things as friends. Now it makes less sense as to why we thought a relationship wouldn’t work out.”

“You weren’t ready to be a committed man and I wasn’t gonna be competing with your hoes.”

“I wouldn’t make you compete with anybody.”

“Hindsight is 20/20 Chris and you cannot sit here with me and think that there wouldn’t have been an issue with your little girls and me if you decided you wanted to date me. Even if you didn’t start it, they would’ve.”

“You make me sound like a horrible guy.”

“No, just a horny ass teenager with a lack of discretion.”

“Ouch.”

“Truth hurts, Baby.”

[rosequartzharry]

He was hurt.

He knew checking the several different social media accounts was a bad idea.

But he did it anyways.

On every single one was pictures of her and some guy sharing a drink. His DMs were flooded with ‘are u ok’s and words of encouragement to move on. But it wasn’t that easy. He’d gotten attached to this girl, and she ended things so abruptly. They’d only been together about 3 months, but he’d gotten so smitten so quickly. They seemed to be inseparable, but that was only through the pap cameras. When they got home, she’d always pick a fight about the same thing: privacy. He knew his fans were kind of persistent when he or anyone else from 1D got a girlfriend. Her Instagram and twitter were flooded with questions, insults, and provocative statements. She put her social media on private, but that didn’t stop the tweets. She was fed up one night and walked out, never to be seen from or heard from again. Her last words to Harry that night were ‘I love you, but I can’t do this anymore’. That sentence had been running through Harrys mind for the last week.

It was a good thing he’d stocked his house with alcohol, because he sure as shit didn’t want his fans seeing him depressed and drunk every night out at bars or clubs. He knew they worried about him sometimes.

Harry wasn’t one to leave drunk voicemails, but tonight was different. He’d seen that picture of her and that guy not 12 hours earlier, and was completely shitfaced now, laying on his couch staring at the picture.

 He didn’t remember much of last night, but he did know he drank enough to give him a massive hangover this morning. Not even ibuprofen and coffee could cure it this time. When he checked his phone, he saw the last app open was the phone app. Oh jeez. He’d called her 12 times. God only knows what he said to her in his voicemails that he inevitably left her. He remembered in one he left saying something about “What does that guy have to offer you that I don’t? Does he treat you half as good as I did?” He didn’t want to know the answers, nor did he want to remember anything else he’d said in those voicemails.

He didn’t talk to anyone that day. He was too embarrassed about the voicemails that he just stayed cooped up in his house all day. Drinking and stalking her Instagram. She’d really had him whipped. He finally decided to try and get his mind off it with TV, but it didn’t do much. Every little scene reminded him of her somehow. He was plastered, again, and leaving voicemails, again. This time, the voicemails were more poetic, but also had a mix of jealousy and depression about the breakup 8 days prior. “How could you move on so quickly, hm? I’m sitting here in this fucking house, by myself. Laying on YOUR side of the bed. You’re probably out with HIM living it up, not even giving a damn.” Once he hung up the phone, he threw it at the wall just under the framed picture he had taken of her on the beach. He saw the picture and just sobbed. He must’ve been sitting there for 2 hours just crying about that magical 3 months with her. He remembered the day she walked out, he’d never cried like that before.

When he finally managed to calm himself down, he sent one final voicemail. “I don’t want your body, that’s not what I miss. I hate to think about you with somebody else.” Short and sweet. With puffy eyes and tears all over his sweater, he went to bed.

 The next morning, his eyes looked bloodshot. He could remember the night before a little better than that other night, so knew that he’d cried for a while. He went to the bathroom but didn’t check his phone this time. In a petty attempt to spare himself the shit he’d find on her twitter and Instagram. When he finally did pick up his phone, he had a few texts. Some from his mom and his sister asking if he was okay, and 2 from her.

Harry, you’ve got to stop calling me. We didn’t even date for very long.

Please. I’m trying to move on. You should to.

He didn’t respond to her, but he knew she’d notice he read them. He had his read receipts on, because when they dated, she turned them on, he just didn’t have the heart to turn them off again.

He was hungover, again. He drew a hot bath to try and help ease his tension in his muscles. He knew breakups made him tense and stressed. But this time it was like it was amplified. He’d been in previous relationships, but those breakups were nothing compared to this. He just wished it would all go away. He liked to see the positive things in life and not focus on the negative. But something about losing her brought out this sad, depressed side of him. He’d been wearing the same sweater since she left. It was covered in tears and small splashes of alcohol.

When he got out of the bath, he was a little less tense, but still had a headache like nothing else. He never liked to get shitfaced like that, but it was different when you were grieving. He didn’t give a fuck, frankly. And drinking seemed to distract his sober self from the pain. He looked at her texts again after putting on a clean t shirt. There was no time for buttons when you were this sad and, apparently, clumsy with your alcohol. He soon remembered that she had given him this shirt, which led to his first drink of the day.

All the sudden, he got a call. He would’ve rejected the call and sat around to mope, but it was Niall. A few days ago, he would’ve ignored the call or picked up to give some excuse as to why he couldn’t come over. But for some reason he picked up.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Harry, how’s it been going?”

“Fine, I guess” he knew it was a lie, but was curious to see if Niall would see through it.

“I’m coming over, that didn’t sound fine. I know you’ve been depressed about her, I want to get you out of this slump, lad.” Before Harry could say no, Niall had hung up. He and Niall had stayed pretty close since the hiatus, so it was normal for every couple of days they would get together and hang out. Harry just hoped he’d be able to keep himself together for Niall’s sake. He didn’t want to unload his shit all over Niall. But when Niall finally arrived, Harry opened the door and burst into tears.

With no words, Niall came in, and gave him a big hug. He closed the door behind him with his foot so he could comfort Harry.

“I know you miss her, lad.” Harry didn’t say anything for a while, just cried.

When he finally stopped, he apologized, “I’m sorry, Niall, I didn’t mean to unload all over you, I just couldn’t hold it back” Harry sniffled, grabbing tissues from the table by the door and blowing his nose.

“That’s okay, you’ve got to let it out” They walked over to sit on the couch. Niall noticed Harry’s home was a mess. There were empty bottles scattered across the living room and clutter all over the coffee table and bookshelf.

“Harry how long did it take you to drink all this?”

“Dunno, those are from the last couple days, I just couldn’t be bothered to clean them up.” Niall sighed and started tidying up. He’d never seen Harry in such a broken state.

Once the mess of bottles and miscellaneous clutter had been picked up, Niall had an idea. “I think we should clean up anything she left behind, to help you get over this. Just seeing her stuff all the time can’t be good for your mental health, lad.” Harry just sat on the couch staring at his hands.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Harry sighed, staring at the room for a minute before getting up. While he was doing that, Niall had grabbed a box to put it all in. Harry started going around looking for things that were hers or gifts from her. There were mostly pictures of her that he’d taken. Small piles of polaroids all over the bookshelf. He grabbed them and looked through them. Almost immediately regretting it because after the first couple he felt the urge to cry again. They were pictures he’d taken of her on the beach. He wiped away the couple of rogue tears and put the pictures in the box. Niall didn’t say anything because he didn’t know what to say.

“It occurs to me that she gave me this shirt.” Harry took off the shirt and put it in the box. He walked into the bathroom to check for anything of hers. She’d left a toothbrush and a small lotion sitting on the sink that he hadn’t noticed before. He picked up the toothbrush and threw it in the garbage. He didn’t think shed want it back. He put the lotion in the box out on the coffee table and migrated to his bedroom. Most of her stuff was still here, since it had only been about 9 days since she left.

He decided to start with the closet. He opened it and saw the few shirts shed put in there for when she was over. Harry pulled them out of the closet and carefully folded them, putting them in the box. Next was the scarf hanging from the headboard. He picked it up and put it right next to the shirts. Last but not least, that picture. He thought it was the most beautiful picture he’d ever taken. He almost didn’t want to get rid of it. But he knew he had to for his mental health. He pulled it off the wall and set it on the bed. When he finally saw the empty space it left on the wall, he started crying again. He couldn’t help but feel sad seeing the last and final piece of her memory had been removed. All that was left was the hole that the nail left behind.

Niall heard Harry crying from the living room and rushed in to comfort him. When he sat down on the bed, he was careful not to sit on the picture. He didn’t say anything, just hugged Harry to his shoulder and let him cry.

“Let it out, buddy” Niall rubbed Harrys back while he cried. He’d never seen Harry this broken before, but he could see just how in love he was with this girl before they split. He was like a lovesick puppy. He would never shut up about how great she was and how lucky he was to have her in his life. It broke Niall’s heart to see his friend in such bad shape.

They must have sat like that for half an hour when Harry finally calmed down. Niall didn’t care in the slightest that literally all of Harry’s tears were on his shirt. “How about I stay for a couple days and help you through this, yeah?”

“Oh, Niall, I don’t want to burden you-,” Harry was cut off.

“It’s not even an issue, I just gotta run home and grab some stuff. I’ll take this box to her for you so you don’t have to.”

“Are you sure, Niall?”

“Yes. I don’t mind.” Niall grabbed the box of her stuff and headed down to his car.

Harry watched him walk to his car to make sure he got there okay. Niall was one to trip over his feet when he couldn’t see them directly.

Once Niall had gotten to his car safely, Harry grabbed his phone and a bottle and laid on the couch. He decided, against his better judgement, to check her Instagram one last time. Her most recent picture was one of her and that guy kissing on the same beach from the photo hung in the bedroom. Harry sighed and opened the bottle, not taking his eyes off the picture.

 He didn’t know how long he’d been staring at the photo drinking, nor did he know how long Niall had been gone for. But Harry jumped when his door opened and Niall walked in with a small backpack. Harry saw it was Niall and looked back at his phone, taking another drink of the, now, half empty bottle. Niall peaked over Harry’s shoulder to see what he was doing. Niall saw the username and snatched the phone out of Harry’s hand.

“Hey! What do you think you’re fuckin doing, mate?” Harry was more startled than angry.

“You can’t keep staring at her photos. It’s not healthy.” Niall said, going to her profile and unfollowing her. He would’ve blocked her, but that wouldn’t stop him from looking, and at least unfollowing her made it harder for him to just get to her profile.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right” Harry said, looking down at the bottle in his hands.

Niall walked past Harry to sit on the couch. “I’ll take that,” Niall said, snatching the bottle out of his hands and putting it on the opposite side of the couch where Harry couldn’t get it. Harry didn’t even flinch. In fact, he barely seemed to give a damn. Niall couldn’t help but notice how detached Harry was.

“I think we should go out tonight. Not drinking, you’ve done plenty of that. But we should go bowling or to a movie or something.” Harry didn’t seem opposed to the idea.

“I think we should go bowling, anything to get my mind off this. I think I’m actually fresh out of tears.” Harry laughed, but it wasn’t super genuine.

  It had been about a month since Niall stayed at Harry’s to cheer him up. Harry was certainly doing much better these days. He had even gone out in public and looked exceptionally happy over the last two weeks. He still felt a little sad he’d lost her, but he couldn’t help but think it was for the best. Tonight, he decided to go celebrate with his band. He didn’t know what they were celebrating, but Harry liked being with his band mates.

He’d been talking guitar stuff with Mitch when out of the corner of his eye he saw her. He hadn’t seen her in a month! He almost wanted to go up to her and say something, but even liquid courage couldn’t help him. He just sat and watched her from across the room.

He saw her looking through her phone absent mindedly. But Harry had noticed that same guy from the pictures a month ago walking over to her with two shots. He couldn’t help but feel jealous, but happy. Happy that she’d found a guy who would make her happy, but jealous it wasn’t him. He watched as they took the shots and gathered their things. He watched them leave and felt the urge to go after her. But he didn’t, he decided to let her go finally. It was like the universe was giving him the closure he needed to live his life again.

He sent her one final text. He made it poetic because that’s just who he was. That was evident by his tweets.

Our love has gone cold. I’m happy you’re intertwining your soul with somebody else. All the love. H xx