#was it out of 1000 points or something
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she's SO obsessed with sonnetto it"s incredible what a funky little lesbian
#crab plays#reverse 1999#also like. that's a lot of points that she still needs lmao#wtf happened on this test#was it out of 1000 points or something
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Tom & B'Elanna give off closeted gay vibes in that I think if you asked them to describe their ideal woman and man they would respectively describe a swimsuit model (bonus: who's Not Like Other Girls) and the lead in some sort of romantic novel. Nothing even close to a real person. The most generic you can get about straight romantic and sexual attraction.
#B'Elanna would say that OR she'd just name some incredibly basic things that make you sad when you hear them#I can 1000% see a canon scene where B'Elanna is upset about random ensign guy not meeting her standards for a date#and everyone's of course of course of course like 'well YOUR standards aaare a little high B'Elanna' ha ha ha and B'Elanna's like#(she's upset but trying to work to take her mind off it) 'Is it SO hard to find a guy who-' then proceeds to list off basic things#the writers think women want and it's all soft romantic things and Tom's like (bc this is ostensibly a romance scene between them)#'B'Elanna are you serious?' (What???) 'If you went out with a guy like that you'd eat him alive. You need a guy who can keep up with#your-' (I swear to God if you say my temper.) '-Passion.' <- his hands are held defensively in the air and his tone is sarcastic. B'Elanna#is pointing a space wrench or something at him. she quickly pulls away. frustrated and embarrassed.#and everyone's like wow this a very good romantic scene we did that really well I think.#in reality the scene was B'Elanna being upset - Tom making fun of her and ignoring the fact that she's a romantic but in the writer's minds#its Tom being romantic and charming and signaling that he's interested in her
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It turns out you don't have to worry about bots scraping your fiction to feed AI when your brother FEEDS IT TO THE AI HIMSELF!!!!
#letting my family read my fiction was apparently a mistake#my brother centers a large portion of his personality around thinking that chatgpt is hilarious#and saying things like 'you should write all your stories with ai because it's better and all books suck' any time writing is mentioned#but i never thought!#that his immediate response#to me trying to let the family engage with this part of my life by sending the link to my published story in the family group chat#would be to copy-paste it to chatgpt and tell it to generate a critical review#mind you: he has not read a word of the story himself#the less than 1000 word story#he has tried to apologize by saying he will actually read it as if this is something i should be grateful for#after he's already done this#another brother has tried to console me by pointing out it probably would have been scraped anyway#BUT I WANT THEM TO HAVE TO WORK FOR IT!
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Girl help I have a fix-it in my head for My Shows, La Promesa, also known as Spanish Downton Abbey, a show famously only watched by middle-aged Finnish women
#in my fix-it manuel waited for jana in her room while jana was out murdering the baron#(i don't know how the baron was murdered yet but jana had something to do with it)#(even if it was teresa or pia who actually did it)#so jana saw manuel in her room and manuel was like ''let's elope'' and since jana thought her avenge mission was complete she agreed#so they elope together thinking they can never return to la promesa#but! when cruz hears about the marriage she is obviously livid; but! but!#she is a solution orientated woman. there's no use crying over spilled milk.#since there is nothing to be done about manuel being the heir or the marriage cruz focuses her energy on making jana seem like a noblewoman#she and jana share a mutual hatred but they need to conspire together so no one will ever find out jana used to be a maid#and! this makes it even easier for jana to get close to curro; and they actually get to develop a friendship#and soon enough jana gets to tell curro he is her biological brother#also idk jana gifts maria fernandez 1000 pesetas so she can buy salvador away from the war#well there is the financial ruin of the house to be solved but maybe they finally listen to catalina at that point and sell the madrid house#la promesa
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i'm gonna make this chatfic so incredibly self-indulgent, only those immune to cringe will survive
#niehehehe#this chapter is gonna be a bit big too (comparatively to my other ones)#haven't even finished with the first out of the three planned plot-points/stupidities#and i'm like 600 words in already#so ig if you don't want the cringe you can skip about a 1000 words or something like that#k back to writing#personal
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Thinking again about how healing from cycles of revenge and abuse is a pretty common theme in manga and anime,
and in particular from fathers or other male authority figures who have hurt boys in shounen manga and anime,
and how most of them start off from the beginning with the stance that hatred is consumptive, sometimes from a cultural Buddhist context,
to set up how a character will ultimately need to move beyond hating his abusers in order to fully heal,
and how the current wave of english-speaking manga and anime fans new to the genre, don't seem to notice any of this, and get extremely angry if the story pays off its own set-up, and has any character heal in any way that isn't just hating an abuser forever.
#I really wanna know how these people always wind up long term stanning a series that blatantly disagrees with them#And then still react like surprised_tails.jpg when it concludes exactly how it said it was going to#“Why does my baby still love people who hurt him?#In the story where everyone who chooses resentment becomes a villain and is horse punched 1000 times?"#On one hand I think some of this is maybe cultural Christians not getting how something isn't in that context#Maybe also some people just aren't at that point where this type of story is as valuable as revenge catharsis comfort#But I'm just baffled by how often people seem to feel like a really consistent theme came out of nowhere or was “wrong” writing#Why and how are you in the fandom for the story whose opening arc was “resolving to resent your way out of trauma is destructive”?#Like I thought that was the thing you had to be cool with to get on board
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i have a new wip idea someone please talk me out of it
(or talk me into it either works)
#its about my first d&d character#in her revamped form#20th level high elf ranger (beastmaster)#i was rebuilding her in 5.5e just cause i wanted to try out the new stuff#and it only felt fitting to recreate her now that rangers are viable as solo characters in the base game after the mess that was#5e PHB rangers without the supplementary stuff from tasha's#but anyway. she's returned to my brain and i have ideas#she was soldier. when she was a kid/young adult she was a soldier.#and then she left the army. and then she had a family and then they were dead from. something possibly plague or an invading army#if it was the invaders then maybe she was a soldier *after* that idk#but then she fucked off into the wilderness for ~400 years#and then had some adventures. and became a level 20 ranger and etc.#at the point of the story she would be ~700 or 750#(taking elves to live an average of 900-1000 years or longer)#and she's lost *so much* but she's gained *so much*#badass old lady who lives in the woods -> best kind of character
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spent the whole night last night hand-sewing while watching jim henson's the storyteller and let me tell you, that vibe was immaculate
#I'd never seen it before! it just happened to be streaming when I went to youtube to look for something to watch#I ended up sitting through the entire series working on my little project#(modifying a shoulder bag I bought for sketchbooking)#very nice. very very nice. also 'media that 1000% would have been Formative if I had actually seen it as a child'#also I More Or Less already knew the greek myths but all of the OG storyteller stories were new to me!#also there definitely reached a point of like 'handsewing this sucks actually I should do this part on the machine'#and then I didn't because I was listening to john hurt tell me stories#nooo I can't go clear off the sewing table and switch out the spool and bobbin I have to find out what happens to my boy fear-not#about me
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Wow, things has changed since i’ve last visited this blog. Hi its 🐧 Anon! I apologize for not being as active as i used to. School has been a lot but it’s now in a “calm before the storm” period yk? How have you been doing? I had just read the new chapter and all you need to know is that i shed tears (my heart hurts). Again like i said in a past post, it feels so surreal that JTTB is about to end, i mean i know there will still be more stuff coming but it just feels like a fever dream? Idk how to explain it.
Anyway, what im trying to say is, im sad that JTTB is about to end but im happy it happened. So yeah.. thank you <3
(Also thoughts on matpat retiring?)
- 🐧 Anon
aa hello again!! it's great to see you again ^^ (good luck for whatever school stuff is coming, i know the feeling - exam season is fast approaching in the uk and the year 13s i know are currently slipping into crisis mode before their a-levels)
thank you for keeping up with jtta and thank you for coming here to talk to me too!! at the risk of repeating myself.. it always means so much to hear you've felt things over my writing hehe
also in terms of matpat... dang....... he was so ubiquitous to my earlier youtube experience that it's going to feel SO weird for him not to be hosting the theory channels anymore. happy for him though, and i like the new hosts too! (looking forward to santi hosting food theory in partuclar)
#answering asks#anon asks#🐧 anon#also Big news!! the epilogue is about 75% done at this point#thinking of posting it on leap day?#the other part of me kind of wants to wait til the 3rd year anniversary since it's the week after that#but i've also been contemplating something else for the occasion#like a mini request event of some sort maybe? for little 500-1000 word shorts#you pick a character give me a prompt (for jtta or even a jtta au)#e.g. diavolo + infernal friends au + dealing with a sick kid#and i'll see what i can do!#still feeling it out atm though. is that something you guys would like?#(also just realised that jtta was first published on march 7th like the hsr character and that's pretty neat)
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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SO UHHH IA GANG.... HOW WE FEELING ABOUT THIS
#homohollers#item asylum#10 hour burst man#dude 10hbm lore drop was not what i expected but#IM GONNA MAKE SO MUCH FUCKING ANGST OUT OF MY THEORIES FROM THIS.#i saw a comment in the description of the song saying this might be alluding to when you bird up in 10hbm??#i noticed some similar instruments from too many trumpets in the song too#they also pointed out that both the apocalypse bird and 10hbm live in a dark forest#and they both wield the twilight and its peace for all#im noticing some slight similarities to another leaked song i cant talk about#this definitely sounds like a 10 hour burst man stress theme though#it sounds sad but also panicked#as if hes having a breakdown in the form of a song#the melodies also sound slightly distorted and choppy#adding to the idea of this being a stressful song#apparently the original name of the song is also “sounds of the painted sword”#a painted sword/clayman p run song converted into 10 hour burst man??#thats certainly scary#the fact that the video is also filtered with red adds to the idea of a clayman connection here#this is honestly a pretty funny idea of there being a 10hbm/clayman song with painted sword connections because#i once. clutched a public server 10hbm round with painted sword. when he still had like 2000-1000 hp#i love LOVE 10 hour burst man more than any of the other bosses#and i love aden mayos music even more#i will forever be making theories about her music#im pretty sure now i have good reason to believe that new jgns bosses and possibly even updates to old bosses are coming in the next update#ive never been more excited#oh also something else#this gave me a new headcanon for 10hbm#he cant. speak very well. so he speaks slowly and slightly broken#the 10hbm activation voiceline also sounds very crunchy
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*sigh* While this wouldn't be the RAREST pair I've written for, it would certainly be close.
#trying and (probably) failing to restrain myself from giving in and doing a (genuinely small) prompt for this fan event but like.#would it even be worth the effort I'd have to put into it. The Chronic Illness™ is making everything SO hard & I feel like even 1000 words#would be a herculean task. and I wouldn't even get the dopamine hit that comes with people reading it :(#like genuinely I Do Not Care how much the things I create get interaction but this is. the circumstances are a little bit different in#terms of 'what will I get out of this & is it worth everything I'd have to do to finish it' because that. unfortunately. is where I'm at rn#then again. maybe a hard deadline would activate whatever centers of my brain to the point where I could actually DO something#IDK!!!!
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Hate the number of people I know who just want to leave the US because of xyz political issues that don't exist in the imaginary other country they hope to move to. Not One of these people ever puts in the leg work to make the world around them better (at least one isn't even registered to vote) and it is literally the height of privilege to think you can just go live somewhere else where someone else has made everything work without doing anything to participate in your community first.
#you Have to watch your local politics you Have to go to local events you Have to talk to people about political issues in your state#so many of these issues can be discussed without putting yourself in any danger because they're literally just about funding and buses!#and if you unite a community behind something like a public park#them every person in that community gets to know one another#local politics creates voting blocks that pay dividends!#you want to save the environment? so does everyone else!!!!!#you want more public places? so does everyone else!!!#“they keep removing third spaces 😡😡😡”#then maybe try to create some??#testify in support of parks#join your neighborhood group#attend events at the library#you have to go out and do things and meet people and you can't just complain all the time about everything wrong while planning to just leav#i hate idealists even though I Am one because they never move past the idea#when it's so so easy you can just small talk with people about how you think it would be good to change police standards#or (something I do a lot) strike up a conversation about how the death penalty is in direct opposition to Christian ideals and values#identify shared issues with people and use that as a jumping point not everything has to be an intense debate you can just learn to listen#because believe it or not people are 1000% more likely to listen to you when you listen to them#these things cut both ways
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imagine if my medication worked to stabilize my bipolar disorder.
#pi's personal#delete later#i WOULD be Worse without it like ping ponging up and down and suicidal 90% of the time instead of 20%#but i can dream of a world where the smallest thing doesn’t suddenly trigger a hairpin transition into a depressive episode.#that would be nice.#and it always is The Smallest Most Insignificant Things that trigger it#making me seem like a huge bitch and the world’s worst person#aw you’re sobbing hysterically because you couldn’t find parking in a downtown parking garage on a friday evening? literally anybody else#would just suck it up. nobody else would do that#now this is something i should be bringing up in therapy and not talking about to my 1000+ tumblr followers BUT#i have a theory that it’s always a straw that breaks the camel’s back situation.#things build up and i don’t feel like i’m really struggling that much with things or bottling them up but i Am. and then i hit a seemingly#arbitrary tipping point and it all comes combusting out like a shrapnel explosion#the fun thing about it is that because it seems so arbitrary i drive people away from me#because they think i’m severely overreacting to something very small#and also that i’m a Huge Fucking Bitch. just the worst kind of mean annoying lashing out person#everyyyyyything has to be about me. i always make it about me. i always cause a scene.#and rightfully so nobody then wants to be around me. or to take my side in a conflict.#because i am quite literally The Problem.#and it’s like i can’t even help it. it’s like i can’t control it. i just go into a state of Shutdown Overwhelm and suddenly things are#Too Much and i lash out at anything i can because it all goes spilling outward.#and THAT is why nobody who knows me well enough wants to be around me
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going christmas mode
#taylor.txt#for some reason the resolution is ass on mobile only but i did all the usual things and it didnt help#so whatever i give up. anyway#in the spirit of giving etc etc id like to do something Fun for christmas and i have an idea but thats entirely contingent on Time#if im not 1000% burnt out by the end of the semester i will do it but lets be real here#i havent even done my irl christmas shopping yet...so whos to say at this point#anyway YES im procrastinating but today i will give myself a pass if and only if in my procrastination i wash the dishes
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hello i would like you to know that, without fail, every time you reblog a haunting of hill house post with timothy hutton i think to myself "what episode of leverage did i miss???" 💕
; DHLFSDF:LK SDFLSDF lmaooo (nate ford . . . arguably the role)
although y'know, on the same note of the haunting of hill house, i do think it's a shame we never got to see leverage crew try to steal a haunted house. i think there would have been so many shenanigans to come out of that one.
#answered#hardison would be the first to go 'no. no no no we are not stepping FOOT in there no thank you!!'#'i have WATCHED the horror movies and i choose LIFE'#vs. eliot who's just. weirdly cryptic about haunted houses in general. yeah maybe he fought a ghost at one point#what about it.#parker . . . parker's not scared of the dark so i don't think she'd be peeved#but i do think she'd be quietly curious about whether ghosts are real or not#sophie is firmly in the 'there might be something out there. nooo spooky ghost lady don't haunt me you're so sexc ahhaaaa' camp#100/10 would glam herself up before entering a haunted house just to go 'wowwww i'm so alone <3333 would anyone take pity <333 on me <3'#nate is 1000% in the 'there is no such thing as ghosts' camp#he's the annoying ass who goes 'apophenia' every 2 seconds whenever hardison points out something creepy's happening#joke is on him! he gets the supernatural experience
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