#was it even mozart? yeah no it must have been.

[widevibratobitch]

couldnt concentrate on a single word the professor said today cause someone in the class next door was practicing some Mozart that i KNOW on god i know that piece but still cannot fucking remember what it was and its been driving me INSANE for the past three hours

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Galileo Galilei Main Story

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies.

Spoilers ahead. Not proofread.

(What should I do? Should I go back to the hideout now? But what if Galileo isn't there?)

(I have to do something quickly!)

If I don't, his objective will be accomplished.

I clenched my hands tightly as anxiety spread over me.

Comte: "Mitsuki!? Why are you sitting there?"

Vlad: "We've been looking for you since you disappeared after Mireia's funeral."

Mitsuki: "Comte, Vlad."

(That's right, maybe these two know something!)

I could no longer hide everything.

I took their offered hand and stood up, deciding to confide in them.

Mitsuki: "There's something I need to tell you right now!"

Mitsuki: "This might sound unbelievable, but..."

Comte and Vlad, though surprised by my urgency, quickly regained their composure.

Comte: "It seems you've gotten yourself involved in something."

Vlad: "Tell us. We'll definitely help you, Mitsuki."

Encouraged by their calm demeanor, I took a deep breath.

Mitsuki: "This world might be in danger!"

I told everyone at the mansion everything that had happened until now.

I told them about meeting Galileo and Drake and that they were dhampirs.

I also told them that I had left the mansion to find out what they were planning and their true goal of obtaining the power of the progenitor.

Sebastian: "Galileo Galilei and Francis Drake. I can't believe such historical men are in Paris."

Isaac: "I'm so surprised that I'm shocked!"

Arthur: "Newt, calm down. You're saying the same thing twice."

Isaac: "But Professor Maury is the real Galileo Galilei, and he's the one who designed the door!"

Dazai: "It's only natural for Isaac to be shocked since he had direct contact with him."

Theo: "Well, it was his invention that brought us back to life."

Vincent: "But to him, our existence was unexpected, right?"

Mozart: "There's no point in saying that now. Besides, that's not the only crucial thing right now. It's his goal."

Leonardo: "Yeah."

Leonardo: "To obtain the power of the progenitor and plot the destruction of the world."

Everyone's expressions grew more serious, and my chest tightened.

(I didn't want to put everyone in danger.)

I felt frustrated by my own powerlessness, having to rely on others.

(I need to think about what I can do from now on.)

Faust: "Does the progenitor still exist?"

Comte: "They said he is. It's a legendary existence among purebloods."

Comte: "He was rumored to possess a power that surpasses that of other vampires."

Vlad: "I've always considered that my power might also be influenced by the progenitor's blood."

Charles: "I see. You're a descendant of the progenitor's bloodline, after all."

Shakespeare: "If that's accurate, then the progenitor would possess the ability to dominate vampires and govern the world, right?"

Jean: "Is this man Galileo trying to ally with the progenitor? What will happen if he gains that power?"

Napoleon: "If he can control vampires to attack humans, the balance of the world will collapse."

(………)

Napoleon: "It wouldn't be impossible for him to incite a conflict between humans and vampires."

I shuddered as I recalled the history of conflict I glimpsed while following Galileo's past.

Leonardo: "There's a lot we don't know about the progenitor. It's like we're grasping at air here."

Vlad: "His hatred must be so deep that witnessing that devastation solidified his resolve."

(Devastation.)

Vlad's eyes darkened, perhaps because he had once witnessed the same scene.

Vlad loved this world and harbored a twisted ambition to prevent its ruin.

(Galileo is trying to destroy the world out of hatred.)

(I don't want to make him the enemy of the world.)

Mitsuki: "Vlad, do you know anything about the progenitor?"

Mitsuki: "I want to stop Galileo before it's too late."

At my question, Vlad furrowed his brow and thought for a moment.

Vlad: "Even as a member of the Draculesti family, I only know about the progenitor through legends."

Vlad: "According to an ancient passage, he hides in a divine realm."

If one is to meet the progenitor vampire, it can only be on the night of a lunar eclipse.

The power of the moon influences vampires, especially the lunar eclipse, which strongly awakens their instincts.

The progenitor's power will overflow from the divine realm, allowing us to sense their great presence.

(This matches the legend Galileo uncovered.)

Vlad: "There are several places believed to be the divine realm, but they're only general locations."

Vlad: "Coincidentally, tonight is a lunar eclipse. If we're near the progenitor's divine realm, we might be able to sense it better."

Comte: "Even for purebloods, tracking down someone whose location we don't even know is an extremely difficult task."

As things seemed to hit a deadlock, I remembered the records of the map Galileo instructed me to keep on the night of the lunar eclipse.

Mitsuki: "If we can get even a little closer to the progenitor, our chances of reaching him will increase, right?"

Comte: "That’s true, but..."

Mitsuki: "I'll try to remember the observations Galileo and I made on the night of the lunar eclipse."

Mitsuki: "The progenitor has got to be in one of those places!"

(I didn't understand their significance back then, so my memory is a little fuzzy, but still, what I've seen might be a clue.)

Those observations are now our slim hope of reaching Galileo.

Vlad: "If we can narrow down the location based on Mitsuki's memory, let's try it."

Sebastian: "I'll bring the map right away!"

As everyone prepared maps and compasses on the table in the living room, Vlad suddenly looked at me and spoke.

Vlad: "I need to ask you something, Mitsuki."

Mitsuki: "What is it?"

Vlad: "If we can't stop him and he obtains the progenitor's power, what then?"

Vlad: "I won't hesitate to kill him if necessary, you know?"

Mitsuki: "----!"

Comte: "Vlad."

Vlad: "I love this world. I haven't given up on the dream of coexistence between humans and vampires."

Vlad: "So if Galileo becomes a threat, I'll use any means necessary."

Vlad: "Is that alright with you?"

His unwavering, crimson eyes pierced through me.

(Vlad is serious.)

(He will surely take care of Galileo when the time comes.)

Vlad's intense, almost mad love for this world feels almost overwhelming.

(I...)

------------Flashback-----------

Drake: "If he continues to achieve his goal, would you stop him even if it means killing him?"

---------Flashback Ends--------

Vlad's question mirrored what Drake once asked me.

(I want to stop him, no matter what destruction he pursues.)

(But as I've spent time with him, I've started to feel like I want to "protect" him.)

------------Flashback-----------

Galileo: "A bridge, huh? I hope I can live up to that."

Galileo: "To achieve that, I'll acquire knowledge and contribute to earning people's recognition. Someday, I want to reveal the truth."

Galileo: "I want to change the world where people hold hands and live together. That's what I believe."

---------Flashback Ends--------

(Even if I can't bring back that smile, I don't want him to break any further.)

I don't want anyone to deny his heart, which has been tossed around by fate.

Now that I knew his past and the truth about him, my feelings were even more firmly resolved.

Mitsuki: "I won't let anyone kill him."

Vlad: "----!"

Mitsuki: "Even if it's you or anyone else."

Mitsuki: "Even if it means making enemies, I will protect Galileo."

Mitsuki: "But I swear, I'll stop him before it comes to that. I'm ready for it because that's the best way to protect him."

With determination, I conveyed this, looking into everyone's faces.

Mitsuki: "I'm sorry for saying these selfish things and dragging everyone into this, but please lend me your strength."

With that, I bowed my head.

Comte: "Mitsuki, why do you feel so strongly about him?"

(Why?)

Why do I feel so strongly about Galileo?

(Even if he finds me annoying, and even if he rejects me or hates me enough to want to kill me, I can't give up on him.)

(Right. Why didn't I realize sooner?)

(I've fallen in love with him.)

The name of this feeling that I arrived at was love.

Mitsuki: "I'm sorry, I..."

(I fell in love with someone who's putting the world in danger.)

I swallowed my words, and Comte gently stroked my head, comforting me.

Comte: "No, it's okay, Mitsuki."

Comte: "More importantly, let's focus on what needs to be done now."

Mitsuki: "Okay."

Suppressing the urge to cry from the heartache, I gripped the pen and turned to the map.

(To protect the person I love, I will definitely stop him.)

Vlad: "Let's hurry. Before he becomes an enemy of the world."

Just before Mitsuki and everyone else noticed the situation, Galileo and Drake arrived at that place.

Drake: "Haah. This miasma is unbelievably ominous."

Drake forced a smile, but small beads of sweat dotted his forehead.

Although the surroundings appeared to be just a plain field, what hung thick in the air was undeniably the presence of a vampire and a miasma that pressed down on their bodies like gravity.

Galileo: "Ugh. But I'm certain this is the right place."

Galileo: "Where are you, progenitor?"

In the darkness, he scanned the area.

"You've managed to reach this divine realm, dhampir."

Galileo & Drake: "!?"

Drake: "Galileo, did you hear that?"

Galileo: "Yeah. It felt like it was resonating directly in my head."

Galileo: "This must be the progenitor."

Progenitor's voice: "I knew you were seeking me. Come."

In an instant, the scenery of the field transformed.

Galileo & Drake: "!!"

In front of them stood a magnificent castle that hadn't been there before.

Drake: "Looks like it's not an illusion. Haha, I didn't expect to meet him this way."

Drake: "It's time. Shall we go, Galileo?"

Galileo: "Yeah. Finally, the moment has come."

Galileo: "Anger, sadness, hatred. It's time to cut the chains of this planet's negative cycle."

Galileo: "Let's end this distorted fate and all the bloodstained mistakes."

Mitsuki: "Is this the progenitor's divine realm?"

After that, we headed for the place we found on the map and arrived at a spacious field.

Right now, it was just me, Comte, and Vlad here.

------------Flashback-----------

Vlad: "If the progenitor has the power to control vampires, having more companions might put us at a disadvantage."

Comte: "Yeah. The others and Leonardo will stay here."

Comte: "Leonardo, if anything happens, you're the only one we can trust to take over."

Leonardo: "Yeah, leave it to me."

Vlad: "Comte, me, and Mitsuki. The three of us will go to the divine realm."

Mitsuki: "Are you sure!?"

(I was planning to go no matter what, even if I had to insist.)

Vlad narrowed his eyes slightly at my response and said,

Vlad: "Let's go together, Mitsuki. You're the only one who can stop Galileo."

Mitsuki: "Got it."

As I nodded firmly, Vlad looked up at the red moon, similar to his own eyes, and Comte followed his gaze.

Vlad: "Galileo designed the door. I discovered it, and Comte built it."

Comte: "If that causality has led us to this fate, then we must face it."

---------Flashback Ends--------

And so, we came here with determination.

However, the vast plain seemed empty, and anxiety welled up within me.

Mitsuki: "Is this not the place? Did I misread the map?"

Comte: "No, you probably didn't. The air is heavy, which is evidence enough."

Vlad: "So, this is the progenitor's miasma."

Both Vlad and Comte were breathing heavily, feeling a pain I couldn't comprehend.

Mitsuki: "Hang in there, both of you."

(Galileo, where are you?)

The scenery suddenly distorted.

Mitsuki: "What the!?"

Comte: "A castle appeared!?"

Vlad: "This is the progenitor's divine realm."

A large castle had appeared on the previously empty plain, leaving us stunned.

Mitsuki: "Why did it suddenly appear before us?"

Comte: "It was likely concealed by some power, but why did it reveal itself now?"

Vlad: "Something may be happening inside. We should go."

Worried about Comte and Vlad, who were both in visible pain, I rushed down the dimly lit corridors of the castle.

Eventually, we arrived at a grand hall.

Comte & Vlad: "!"

(Huh!?)

I widened my eyes at the scene before me.

Drake: "Ugh..."

Drake was crawling and groaning at the foot of the throne at the far end of the room.

And sitting calmly on the throne, coldly glaring down at him, was...

Mitsuki: "Gali...leo?"

Previous Part ╎ Masterlist ╎ Next Part

[usergreenpixel]

JACOBIN FICTION CONVENTION MEETING 37: CHÉVALIER (2022)

1. The Introduction

Well, hello there, Citizens! I’m back and I hope you missed me! Sorry for the multiple delays and all, but luckily I’m back at it now!!!

Okay, so this movie has been on my radar ever since it got announced. A story featuring a real Black man who lived during Frev? Sign me up! This has excellent potential and also, to my knowledge, at least a partially Black crew so we get more representation of marginalized groups in crews and on the screen!

At least, those were my thoughts before I actually watched the movie, but we’ll get to whether it was a good media piece later.

I found the movie on Russian language streaming websites, but it’s available on Amazon Prime and Disney Plus for those who would like to watch the original English version.

This review is dedicated to @idieonthishill , @vivelareine (who has a review that unpacks the movie from a historical pov and is welcome to add to the review 😊), @theravenclawrevolutionary , @sansculottides , @citizentaleo , @saintjustitude , @avergehistoryenjoyer , @lanterne and @jenxiez .

Okay, let the Jacobin Fiction Convention reopen!

2. The Summary

The movie tells a story of a real man, Joseph Bologne aka Chévalier de Saint-Georges. Recognized son of a white French nobleman and an enslaved black woman, Bologne must navigate the cutthroat world of the Parisian high society, dealing with racism and trying to reconcile his “white” upbringing with his African roots.

Sounds interesting, but let’s see how the premise was handled.

3. The Story

The Introduction scene - a musical duel between Mozart and Bologne, was actually quite good in my opinion. So were the other beginning scenes of kid Bologne growing up in France as an aristocrat and being bullied by his white peers, plus his father telling him not to let society break him.

These scenes establish quite well that Bologne has to carve out a place for himself among French nobility and make a lot of effort to get even a hint of acceptance. Sounds like a nice setup, right? Well, unfortunately at times Bologne in the movie doesn’t seem to have much agency at all.

For example, his title is granted to him by Marie-Antoinette basically on a whim, handed to him on a silver platter because the queen was impressed by his fencing skills, which in my opinion isn’t enough to show a character who has to work hard to be accepted. I think it would’ve been better if Bologne had at least several impressive fencing performances to prove himself and show more of his skills.

On the flip side, there are characters who have a bit too much agency. For example, in the story it’s Marie Antoinette who is calling all the shots and giving all the orders in France, even though Louis is alive and well. It’s definitely jarring to see how people say “by the order of the queen” when the king should be the one mentioned instead.

I didn’t care much for the love triangle storyline, but it’s my own personal preference and also the fact that it, like many parts of the story, isn’t all that nuanced. So yeah, very bland and boring.

Yes, Citizens, unfortunately nuance has officially left the chat, especially when it comes to the main character. See, at first Bologne doesn’t give a shit about poverty and famine plaguing France. He is enjoying his cushy life and his friendship with the queen of France instead. However, you know what makes him join the Jacobins? A fucking PERSONAL FALLING OUT WITH THE QUEEN. Not promises of abolishing slavery or granting rights to black people, not his own ideals… Just fucking pettiness!

It would have been much better if he didn’t have a falling out with Marie Antoinette and signed up for fighting with the Republicans because he genuinely wanted to do what was right, not due to personal beef. Especially since that was why he joined Frev in reality – the real Bologne made a choice to do the right thing simply because it seemed to be the right thing to him. Not out of petty desire to get back at the queen.

Also, the conflict between Bologne and his mother about how he is acting “too white”… eeeehh. To me it felt very anachronistic but maybe I’m wrong and there is more nuance missing because EVERYONE at court had to carry themselves in a certain way to make it. If you couldn’t do it, you were socially FUCKED. Besides, Nanon (the mother) and her friends crack really mean jokes about Bologne being “too white”, which is… well, an INTERESTING way to endear him to his mother’s culture…

The movie is juggling admittedly anachronistic theme about black culture, anti-slavery message, court drama and love triangles… and the juggling is done quite sloppily too, I’m afraid.

Also, just to illustrate how inaccurate this movie is, the events of 1789 are shown happening in 1776 for some reason, which shows just how much the creators didn’t give a shit about research.

Moving on.

4. The Characters

I really didn’t care for Bologne to be honest. He shows selfishness and pettiness, doesn’t have enough agency in the story and is also very inconsistent. After falling out with Marie Antoinette, he claims he defended her, which… he didn’t! At least it’s not shown in the movie! What the fuck happened to “show, don’t tell”?! Also, his incredible talents aren’t really shown in the way they could’ve been, more on that in the soundtrack section. A missed opportunity, really.

Nanon, Bologne’s mother, is a real embodiment of the themes of slavery and trauma present in the the movie. She merely exists to push him to embrace his African heritage and to remind him that he will never be truly accepted by other nobles. I honestly wish there was more to her character, because she ends up being little more than a walking theme embodiment.

Marie Antoinette here is a capricious, fair weather friend. She CLAIMS to support Bologne, but does it in indirect ways out of fear that nobles wouldn’t appreciate her openly backing a black man. Even though she is an absolute monarch so she can afford to show her support more openly. Actions speak louder than words, and she is clearly not a true ally of Bologne.

Marie Joséphe, Bologne’s love interest, is a woman trapped in a miserable marriage and yearning to act in Bologne’s operas. While I do sympathize with her, I believe that there really isn’t much depth to her either. We just don’t learn much about her. This is becoming a common theme…

Also, just as a side note while we’re talking about characters, many white characters in the movie are shown as mere flat caricatures. I can understand why, but, again, this doesn’t show nuance as in reality, while Bologne definitely had to deal with racism, he was not only accepted, but adored as a celebrity, but we don’t see that reflected in the attitudes of other people towards him. Because apparently the brains of the spectators will implode when they see nuance in a modern movie, it seems.

5. The Setting

Personally I wasn’t that impressed by the costumes or the settings. I’ve seen much better ones. Nothing bad, but nothing outstanding either.

6. The Soundtrack

Where the fuck is actual music from that time period?! Where is music by Bologne himself?! It’s a fucking missed opportunity and I don’t know what prevented the creators from including the music written by the MAIN DAMN CHARACTER into a biopic about him. A shame that they missed yet another opportunity.

7. The Conclusion

Honestly… I can’t say much when it comes to what this movie is fucking about. The story is bland, lacks nuance, doesn’t follow basic historical facts and is pulled in a million directions.

For a movie about an obscure figure, it doesn’t show much of the things Bologne was known for and at times even strips him of agency. We need to have better POC representation, because this is just not it.

The movie is mediocre, bland and forgettable. Don’t waste your time on it.

With that, I declare today’s meeting of the Jacobin Fiction Convention to be over. Thank you for your patience and support during this hiatus of mine.

Stay tuned and stay safe!

Love,

Citizen Green Pixel

[bagettsfornoon]

id say one of the funniest things I did in highschool was a theater presentation i did in junior year (second to last year? don’t know if I translated that right). anyway, we were adapting scenes from hamlet, and at the moment I didn’t have anyone to do the assignment with so I decided to do a monologue- with a twist. yeah, just… just see it for yourselves lmao

HAMLET AND THE SOCK PUPPET

Setting: Mansion, home to Hamlet’s family. Inside one of the more secluded parts of the house, where there are barely any windows, so almost no light comes through. There are a few tables around, decorated with small vases, some filled with already dead flowers. Only one light turned on in the whole room, the other one flickering into life every now and then, but staying off most of the time.

Costumes and characters:

Hamlet: black jeans with chains, black shoes, white long-sleeved shirt and a black t-shirt over that. Wears his hair over his face, almost covering one eye. Strong eyeliner, and eyebags.

Horatio: a neon pink sock with googly eyes

SCRIPT -

Hamlet arrives on scene, looking around with confusion and wonder. He raises his right hand, where Horatio is.

Horatio: Over here, Hamlet!

Hamlet: (looking around) Is it truly here, my friend? Is this the place in which you found my father’s phantom?

Horatio: Yes Hamlet. It was here. The ghost of your (turns to look at the audience) dead father.

Hamlet: (looks at Horatio) My dearest friend, my bestest friend (looks away) my only friend. (looks back) Never would I dare think to doubt you, for your loyalty is most cherished to me, but this. This is certainly unbelievable. Oh, it feels like madness, taking over me like a virus, consuming every part of me, ever since my father’s death. I am desperate, Horatio! My own mother calls me crazy! And all I can do is hold on to these bits and pieces of information, and hope. (Horatio taps him in the shoulder) oh? What is it, dear friend of mine?

Horatio: Your dad, Hamlet! He 's talking to me!

Hamlet: (surprised) truly? Right now, he’s here? (Looks around, and looks shocked at some place) I see him! Oh father, how truly I’ve missed you! It’s been a torture to live in this home, with these people. Mother and uncle got married! It’s all upside down, and I miss you so…

Horatio: He says he misses you too

Hamlet: oh, but why can’t I hear you, father?

Horatio stares to where Hamlets father supposedly is for a while

Horatio: he says “lol, idk”

Hamlet: I see. Well, what else does he say?

Horatio: he says your uncle killed him

Hamlet: (shocked) What!?

Horatio: did a whole Shakespeare on him. With the poison in the ear and everything. He also paid the police so they wouldn’t frame him. And he says your mother has been having an affair with him since before you were born lmao you’re so blind how didn’t you see

Hamlet: (falls to his knees, devastated) Oh dear father! I have been a fool… you see, when I was a young boy… (looks away) oh, father! (hides his face in his hands, crying)

Horatio: don’t cry, Hamlet! (pats him in the head) there there. You’ll carry on, we’ll carry on. Also, your dad is asking what your mom did with his My Chemical Romance cds

Hamlet starts to cry harder.

Hamlet: (sobbing) she said that it was just a phase! It is not just a phase! Father, I am so sorry! Uncle replaced them with Beethoven, and Mozart cds. Who even owns those?!

Horatio: he says that you must take revenge then! (looks at the audience) You must kill him in cold blood.

Hamlet: if that is what father says (stands up) it is then what I must do. Very well then. I will plan your revenge, dear father of mine, and I will kill this traitor.

Horatio: He’s gone!

Hamlet: I must be going crazy, my dearest friend. My father’s phantom, speaking to me as if he is really here. I am really just as mad as everyone claims. Hamlet, the mad prince, who speaks with himself when he is all alone.

Hamlet stares into space quietly. Horatio rises next to him, looks at the audience and then at him multiple times.

Horatio: You’re not mad, Hamlet. And you’re not alone, you talk to me! Would a crazy person have such a great friend?

Hamlet looks at Horatio and smiles lightly

Hamlet: Perhaps you are right. Now, let us go! We must plan our revenge.

Horatio: while we listen to My Chemical Romance on blast?

Hamlet: (fully smiles) you know me so well, my dearest bestest friend

(fully copy-pasted from the original file lmao)

one of my best performances in my life, i hate the fact that i didn’t ask anyone to record me.

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

Since you believe in the rule of law how do you feel about vigilante justice? You reblogged something about shooting drug dealers recently but that would be illegal.

lmao. fair question.

my views on law, criminality, and punishment are very complicated. they might even seem contradictory to many at first glance. there are layers to it.

so yeah, in general, i do believe in the rule of law. and the rule of law has both religious and practical dimensions in my mind. i won't get into to the religious aspects of it right now, but i will touch on the practical.

i believe law, ultimately, is simply a regulatory mechanism necessary to create conditions that are conducive to the production of culture. and for me, the creation of culture is of the utmost importance.

what i mean is, you're not going to find a mozart or titian in some lawless anarchy that is drowning in violence and corruption. there are no mozarts in the jungle. no academies or olympic games.

so law (and the government to create and administer the law) is a necessary precondition for the creation of culture.

but at the same time, culture cannot be produced in a society that is too oppressive. a society that uses the state to enforce an oppressive degree of conformity and rigidity cannot produce great men and therefore cannot create great culture.

the ideal is somewhere in the middle. like a flourishing republic like america where freedom is aplenty but there are outer limits. there is enough law and regulation to provide a stable state for society but enough "breathing room" for new life to grow.

now there is the question of criminality. what does it even mean to be a criminal? many of the greatest men in history would have been considered criminals in their time. for example, the founding fathers. they were seen as dishonorable traitors and thieves and murders in their day. but now we revere them as heroes.

i am assuming you're referring to my post about fate and the gods. in that post i believe i even mentioned that sometimes it is necessary and even good to step outside the bounds of the law. the law cannot become too rigid. it must be flexible and adaptable and robust. it must be able to tolerate some stretching and bending and, yes, even some breaking. we are men, not robots. i've always said i believe the optimal amount of corruption in a society is non-zero.

some degree of criminality is good and healthy for society. it keeps it vigorous. classical civilization and renaissance italy are famous for their cultural outputs, but these were also times of great criminality and widespread violence.

now this doesn't mean all criminals are equal or that i am advocating for a lawless society (i hope i've made clear that i believe in the necessity of law). i am just saying that there can be virtue to be found in some criminals and criminals play an important role in keeping a culture alive and healthy. there's a reason why some of our favorite stories are about criminals and outlaws. i honestly have lots to say about this but i don't want to ramble too much.

to put it simply; yeah, i do believe in the rule of law. but i believe more in the flexible, adaptive spirit of the law vs the rigid, oppressive letter of the law and i believe that some exceptions to the law are necessary and/or good. but that isn't to say they should be permitted or that they shouldn't be disciplined. and i could easily imagine a case of "vigilante justice" in which i would recognize some virtue, even while acknowledging its "illegality".

[tetsunabouquet]

Basic Instinct Part 4

A/N: So if I’m not doing my homework, I am catching up on my writing schedule. FINALLY, part 4 is here and we get to the parents having no boundaries part, so be warned. Overprotective daddy mode has been activated, as well as roast mode. Masaomi just seems like that kind of douche.  Masterpost Akashi Masaomi had always believed himself to be above these kind of actions, but here he was, trailing in the shadows after his son. His son, who was according to his butler's reports going to meet the person he was texting. He spied, as he saw his son's face light up at the sight of a h/c haired girl. "Akashi-san!" You chirped, your face as bright and happy as his son's. You looked happy to see his son in a genuine way, he'd give you that, but your attire alone revealed your commoner status, which Akashi senior wasn't very happy with. Ah well, he could better suck it, as Fate would say.  Because Akashi Seijuro's heart was pounding so loudly he feared it would break through his ribcage. He thought you looked so beautiful, you had chosen the correct colours that suited you and brought out your eyes. He loved the way their colour were standing out more vividly in your sweet face. "I'm so happy you want to help me shopping. I really have no clue what kind of sheet music my cousin would like for his birthday." You said, looking at him like he was your savior. "It's no problem. It was a good idea to think of gifting him sheet music. It's definitely a gift a musician could appreciate." Akashi said, trying to subtly hint at the fact he'd also appreciate such a gift from you if you ever were in the need or position to gift him something. Just the idea made his blush- when he was alone at least, he tried not thinking about these things too much in front of you, scared he'd betray himself. He wanted to confess to you, but not yet. Not when you were reaching out for help with your cousin. You trusted him to give advice and his honest opinion, he did not wish to get distracted with his own feelings whilst doing so. "So, how's your day been so far?" You asked as you headed into the direction of the music store. "Hmm, well it was pretty quiet. My father left for business earlier." You sighed. "It sucks when your only parent is constantly with their minds at work, doesn't it?" "Yeah," he breathed. He loved how you understood, even though he wished a happier life for you. It almost made him feel guilty, the way he felt so relieved whenever you echoed how he felt. You rubbed his shoulder with sympathy before you slid into the store, Akashi behind you. Masaomi was staring at a distance, his eyes locked on the shop. 'I could buy that entire place. There are far better shops with more valuable instruments. If Seijuro needs anything, he could just ask me instead of degrading himself to a lowly commoner and shopping so ordinarily.' It must be you. He wondered if his boy was trying to impress this commoner girl. 'Shiori had status. This girl is not nearly as worthy of my Seijuro, or have his fancy of her compared to our love.' After about a half hour, thanks to Akashi, you had found some Mozart you figured your cousin would enjoy. You smiled as you purchased the gift, happy he had came along to help. "You're really a life saver, Akashi-san!" "Please, do call me Seijuro. We're friends." He insisted, who was secretly dying to get on first name basis with you. You giggled joyfully and replied, "okay, if that's what you wish Seijuro-san!" His heart skipped a beat with the way your name rolled off of your tongue. "Yes, and I can call you Y/n-san, right?" You nodded, and a bright smile broke out on his face. "Great. Can I treat you to lunch?" He asked, courteously but warm. "Actually, I had something in mind!" You chirped, and started rummaging through your bag. "Perhaps it's better if we find a place to sit..." you muttered. Akashi was instantly curious, and guided you to the nearest benches located at the nearby square. 'Did she actually brought something to eat for us? Did she make it herself? Do I get to taste her self-made food for the first time?' Thoughts were racing, and he tried to contain his excitement at the idea of getting to taste his crush's home-made food. As you sat down, you pulled out a small plastic sack, and looked at him with expecting, hopeful eyes. "I know we've only been friends as of recent, but when I though of asking your help I realized I did forget your birthday the other week." That took an unexpected turn. "You're gifting me something for my birthday?" He asked breathlessly. "Well, its just a bunch of muffins I baked. I don't really know that much about what you like yet, and I figured anything I could buy is something you could buy a dozen off, so I just settled for birthday muffins." You babbled slightly, the look on your face growing more nervous per second. There was no reason to be nervous, however, considering Akashi felt besides himself with joy at the thought you baked him muffins as a belated birthday present. You sheepishly pulled them out. They were the type that were multi-coloured through the means of cheap food coloring. All of them were an orange-red, with dark green symbols that as Akashi tried to decipher, he realized must be kanji. "The kanji is a bit unreadable, what does it say?" He asked, curiously. You almost seemed to shrink on your seat, mumbling, "It didn't turn out as well as I hoped. I tried imitating the kanji for Shogi pieces. You like Shogi, don't you?" 'Shogi themed muffins?' You might as well have stolen and broke his heart simultaneously. They weren't perfect like how his cook would have made them, but they were baked with so much consideration and care. It reminded him of his mother, the only person who'd put such loving thought in his meals. At that moment, Fate did not know who to pity more. The girl about to burst into tears because she was so terrified of being a failure after years of abuse, or the boy about to burst into tears because he hadn't known such consideration since the death of his only emotionally healthy parent. With both of their eyes shining with tears, Akashi thanked you. "I've seldomly received baked goods from the people close to me. I'll treasure this experience." You let out a small puff of breath out of relief, and smiled with so much kindness it made him blush, ever so slightly. How were you actually real? Because as far as Akashi is concerned, this feels more like a good dream he had forbidden himself to dream a long time ago. Akashi ate your muffins, each bite filling him with so much warmth, he couldn't fathom how he had ever thought so highly of his cook. This, was a way more satisfying meal. Because it was made from the heart. Your heart. It was his turn to feel sheepish once he realized he ate them all without offering you one. "Now you've got nothing to eat. I apologize." "It's okay, they were meant for you." You said, your smile only ever seeming to get sweeter and brighter for some unexplainable reason. 'Kami-Sama truly gave her a smile like the sun. It just gets brighter and warmer the more I look at it.' "Still, I owe you lunch. Let me get you something." Akashi insisted. You giggled in return, your smile still as bright and charming. "I'd like to refuse as you already bought a meal for me once, but I don't think you'll accept no for an answer." "No, I won't." Akashi returned the smile with full confidence, and offered you his arm. You kept giggling as you hooked yours on his, both of you clearly giddy. Exactly as Fate intended, foreseeing the joy that awaited you. Masaomi on the other hand, was retreating. He had seen enough. As much as he found the idea of his son dating a commoner a blasphemy to the Akashi family name, he too, could see the similarity with the muffins and Shiori's old cooking. That happy, proud look you had in your eyes as he enjoyed those muffins, was exactly the look Shiori would have when watching her family eat her food. 'A discount version of my Shiori...Hmmph'. (Masaomi, don't roast reader-chan too badly, you toxic, classist douche)

[fandom-monium]

i finished for the holidays and i just *chefs kiss* beautiful talented amazing sajkgdkj no words i love that romance wasnt even the main point 🥺💘 anyway i love how you write reader and i wondered between her and spencer who gets jealous???

Unrivaled

Summary: In which you seem pretty close with the new intern, and Spencer is not happy about it. (ft. one of my fave white bois) “Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

WC: 3.6k

Tags/Warnings: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fluff, cussing, Jealous!Spencer bc id like to see that, established relationships (blegh), Garvez if you squint, the lightest implication of smut ever, points to yall who can guess who the intern is before reading the end or the tags 😉

—

Spencer is not jealous. He’s not.

Why would he be? 

He has no reason to be jealous, Spencer chants to himself as he sits at his desk. Even from across the bullpen he still manages to hear your voice, and while normally it’s music to his ears, even better than Mozart, now it just feels like nails against a chalkboard. Grating his eardrums, making him wince.

Because you’re laughing. Not with Spencer though. Not at his obscure references or lame jokes.

With the new intern.

Why did Emily have to put you in charge of him? She could’ve chosen anyone on the team to have him shadow, but it had to be you! Not that you’re incapable or unqualified; you’re experienced, talented, and the best person he knows. 

… Okay, he can see why she picked you.

Why do they even have interns? Unnecessary, really, when the BAU has you and him and he guesses the other teams too (it’s weird, he’s never actually interacted with them but whatever). Maybe it’s time to start making budget cuts. He’ll discuss this with Emily when he gets the chance. He’s got some influence, working at the BAU as long as he has.

But he’s not jealous. 

Logically, jealousy (like an intern) is unnecessary. The green-eyed monster (like an intern) is ugly and contributes nothing productive, and if Spencer’s being honest, the world (like an intern) would be much better off without it.

At least that’s what he keeps telling himself as he downs his coffee like a shot of whiskey, trying to quell the squirming beast in him. Despite 90% of it being sugar, it still tastes bitter. He sets his mug down with a thud, and it’s loud enough to make Luke, Garcia, and JJ turn their heads, exchanging concerned glances when he slumps back in his chair.

Spencer doesn’t care. The world’s ending; you’re apparently into younger guys, with neat dark hair and forearms that can probably snap someone’s neck, and he can’t do anything about it. What does it matter if his best friends catch him in a sour mood, right?

“Hey, Spence,” JJ's tone is soft as they slink over, Garcia and Luke leaning against the edge of his desk and JJ flanking the other side. “You alright?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Spencer gazes past them, his eyes never leaving you. He deflates; your stance is relaxed, completely open as you nod at whatever Intern is saying, his hands gesturing spastically. It must be interesting, the way you listen with rapt attention and respond just as enthusiastic.

Spencer scoffs. Not like that’s anything special. You do the same for him. And the rest of the team.

...What the hell are you guys talking about? 

“Well, you look like you’re about to throw your mug across the room. Or at an intern.”

Spencer blinks, finally breaking away from you long enough to eye the ceramic octopus. “That’s a good idea actually.”

“Don’t,” Garcia and JJ both shoot him a warning and he huffs, resting his chin in his hand. Garcia looks horrified, betrayed even while JJ has that expression on, the one she gives when she scolds Henry and Michael.

Whatever. It’s not like he’d ever sacrifice Mildred. Garcia entrusted her to him, after all. 

Unless...?

No, he couldn’t… Maybe.

“You know, Reid, if you’re jealous—”

Spencer snaps his head to Garcia, eyes wide and darting to you like you have super-hearing, “Jealous? Who’s jealous? Not me.” He cringes, his voice octaves higher and cracking like a prepubescent boy.

Garcia snorts, “Okay, sure. But if you are jealous, I was going to say you have no reason to be. You wanna know why?” Spencer raises an eyebrow at her and she continues, “Sure the guy’s smart enough to get a full-ride scholarship at GWU, and he’s top of his class at the academy—”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

"And he’s one of the most good looking guys I've ever met—”

"How is that relevant—"

Luke frowns at her. "And have you met me?"

“My point is,” Garcia’s red lipstick curls into the most reassuring smile, “that you have nothing to worry about because (Your Name) loves you. A lot.” 

Spencer perks up. “You really think so?”

“I know so. I see the way they look at you, and if that’s not love I don’t know what is," She shrugs, "And just because they’re talking doesn’t mean they’re into him.”

There's a collective nod of agreement and Spencer sags in relief. Of course they're right. He knows they are. 

If you think about it, technically, he's got the advantage. You've known each other longer, bonded and shared experiences together good and bad, and you’re emotionally and even physically intimate with each other (something he's especially proud of, considering how long it takes you both to warm up to others).

And who knows? This is probably temporary! Whatever this is, the connection you seem to instantly make with Intern (faster than when you two had met, he realizes with a needle to his heart) is short-term at best. It'll peter out eventually, like most friendships do.

It’s sad, but a cruel fact of life.

(Is this selfish, wishful thinking? Nah.)

They’re right, there is no need to worry, Spencer thinks as a weight lifts off his chest, finally able to breathe. You love him and he loves you and eventually, everything will go back to normal. 

There’s nothing to worry about.

—

The world’s ending.

“It’s really not.”

Yes, it is.

“Doc, come on.”

“Do not ‘Doc’ me,” Spencer grumbles, lifting his head from the comfort of his arms. He grimaces at Luke. “You didn’t see the way they looked at him. The way they talk about him.”

Two weeks. It’s been two weeks since you’ve taken Intern under your wing, and he’s had enough. If Hell is real, this is it. For days, he’s tried to resume some form of normalcy, and he was never one to be bold but desperate times call for desperate measures as he asks you out for lunch or invites you out on dates, even stuff he wouldn’t normally do because they’re more your thing. Something, anything to get you away from Intern. But...

At work: “Hey Spence, I'm teaching Intern (menial task that a 4 year old could do). Would you like to help—”

During break: “I’m taking Intern out for lunch. He’s still new to town, and I thought he could use a tour—”

In bed: “Did you know Intern’s a huge fan of Star Wars—”

Snap, and there went his patience.

Intern this, Intern that. 

Spencer could tolerate this at work. At least he’s saving lives, being productive, getting paid. But under his roof? In his bed? 

That was the last straw.

Spencer's not one to wish ill on another, he's not like that. But if something happened to the guy, say, get injured in the field, perhaps from a "stray" bullet, he'd be intern-ally grateful. Heh. 

"Hey, you good?"

Spencer sighs, swiping a hand over his face and turning back to Luke. "Yeah, why?"

Luke waves a hand at his face, eyebrow raised, "For a second there, you kind of had a scary look on your face."

"Did I? Weird."

"Right," Clearly unconvinced, Luke brushes it off, deciding to get to the root of the matter. "As I was saying, I still think you have nothing to worry about. Although, I do think it's a little weird that (Your Name) is talking about Intern as much as you say they are." He offers Spencer a little smile, his hand falling heavy on his shoulder. It's the most comforting touch he's had in two weeks. "I'm not one to talk, but I suggest you speak to them. I'd also be uncomfortable if my partner were talking up someone else."

Spencer blinks, squints at Luke, before gripping his hand and standing up. "Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

"You can stand to mention it more often," Luke shrugs, eyes crinkling with amusement as Spencer lets go and heads for the door. 

"Noted."

—

Spencer nearly goes feral when he finds you.

Of course you're with him.

He searched the floor like a bloodhound, discovering you've been on your feet almost the entire day, running around the office, up and down the elevators, finishing your work and helping around. You must be exhausted. It's because of this he tracks you to your favorite break room, mostly quiet save for the buzzing drip of the old coffeemaker. He knows you need to be alone sometimes, recharge those social batteries.

So when he bursts into the room like he would hunting an unsub, eyes quickly scanning the immediate space, he expects nothing less but you. What he did not anticipate was to find you, just as soft and pretty as ever under the fluorescent lighting, leaning against the counter and sipping daintily at your favorite mug. 

With Intern standing a little too close to his liking.

“Hey, Spencer,” You chirp as you lower your coffee mug, lips glossy from your drink. Spencer's quick to shake his stupor―he can’t afford to be distracted, but it’s difficult when you’re beaming at him, clearly excited. You nod at the home-wrecker, “Me and Intern here were just talking about demonology and he’s got this interesting theory on werewolves―" Lycanthropy? Are you fucking kidding him right now? 

Just when he thought he couldn't hate the guy any more.

"CanItalktoyou?" It comes out rushed as Spencer gasps between breaths, leaving no room to second guess himself.

"Sure," You blink at his urgent tone.

For a second, you watch him expectantly, and Spencer's gaze darts between you and Intern. "Alone?"

"Oh! Okay. Be gone," You wave Intern off, and when you place a hand on his shoulder, Spencer sees red. Or green in this case.

Intern doesn't resist, but the noise Spencer releases is animalistic because the guy can’t seem to read the room, questioning you as you gently shove him towards the door. "What about the thing―"

"We'll talk about that later."

"But you still need to show me how to―"

"Don't worry, Intern. Just wait for me, I'll show you once the adults are done talking."

"You know at some point you're gonna have to call me by my name." 

"Nah. If we get to call Luke a newbie, we get to call you Intern. Also I do not know how to say your first name."

 "You could just call me St―"

Enough of this. Spencer closes the last stretch of distance, batting your hand away from Intern’s shoulders as he kicks him out himself, slamming the door in his face. Spencer turns on his heel to face you, caging you both. “You―” He pants, chest heaving for air.

“Me?”

“You-him-we―”

You’re unfazed, simply nodding at him and his odd behavior. If anything, you’re enjoying this as your lips twitch in a poor attempt to withhold your amusement, trying to cover it with a slurp of your cup. Then again, it’s not everyday you get to see Spencer, face flushed from exertion, speechless as he gasps for breath.

(At least not at work… In the break room specifically.)

It takes a minute as Spencer swallows a few times, but his heart’s erratic and it’s not just from running through the entire building. When he’s got enough air, he blurts out, “Did I do something?”

Your brow shoots up. “What?”

“Did I forget something important? Upset you in some way?”

“No? I don’t think so?” You frown at him, your answers more like questions. 

It only spurs him on, and though his tone is frantic and his eyes just as wild as his hair, you’re more intrigued than frightened. Definitely confused.

“Okay, but you know I love you, right?”

“Yes and I love you too but Spence, what’s this about?" Setting down your mug, you look at him like he's grown another head.

Spencer sighs, "I just… you…" He frowns, glancing between you, the floor, and the empty space between you. 

Spencer Reid is a man of words. Many, many words, according to all his friends and his coworkers. Mainly knowledge―he's never been great with feelings―but as you gaze at him, patiently waiting for him to gather his thoughts, he wants to melt into the floor. There's not a hint of annoyance on your features, your eyes warm and inviting. 

He's so in love with you.

Then like scripture the words come, natural without much stuttering or hesitancy. He recounts the last two weeks. The internship so far, the times you've left Spencer behind for him, the times you just talked about him, like the guy (practically a stranger) is your new best friend. Usually, pretty people make him tongue-tied and you do―god, you do―but at the same time only you make it so easy. Talking, expressing without fear of―

"Pfft―"

―Judgement. Pausing mid-sentence, Spencer gawks as your nose twitches and your blink rate increases. You purse your lips, a hand slapped over your mouth as it threatens to break out into a grin.

"Are you-are you laughing right now?" When he just poured his feelings out to you? 

That does it. You keel over, peels of laughter coming like a tsunami, crashing into him and Spencer loves your laugh but not when it's at him. 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing," you wheeze, gripping your stomach. Spencer pouts. There's even tears in your eyes. "But you're telling me this is all because you're jealous?"

He stutters, "Well-I-no-It’s just…" He wants to say ‘you're mine’, but as your eyes crinkle he knows there’s no need.

"That's kinda hot."

"Wha-really?" Wide-eyed, Spencer squeaks as you step closer to him, backing him into the door. His hands come up to his chest in a kitten-like manner yet at the same time protective―you'd never hurt him and you both know that―but you admit your initial reaction was poor when he laid his feelings bare. 

“Ahhhh Babe, you know there’s no one else for me but you.” Spencer blushes and you chuckle, taking his hands in yours. He let's you. “Also, as adorable as Intern is, one, I think I’d be able to tell if he was hitting on me, and two, he’s not really my type.”

Spencer swallows, “And what exactly is your type?”

“Hmm, let’s see,” Looking him up and down, you step closer, enough that your breath puffs against his chin. You smell like cheap coffee. “Tall, handsome doctors with messy, brown hair―” You lightly tug at one of his stray curls and he bites back a smile. 

“―and a cute nose―” Your hand moves to cup his cheek, bringing him down to peck the tip of his nose. It scrunches as Spencer breaks out into giggles. 

“―Who can recite classic literature. Who can bake like he belongs on The Great British Baking Show but can’t cook for shi―”

“Okay! Thank you, I get it,” Spencer says, almost completely relaxed now.

“Good,” You nod with finality. “And for your information, I wasn’t trying to make you jealous."

He raises an eyebrow. "So you just abandoned me and talked about another guy for the hell of it?"

Spencer's tone is casual, joking even but you know better. There's underlying bitterness and hurt and your heart squeezes because you did that. "No, of course not. There is a reason behind all that.“

“What could possibly excuse you going above and beyond your job as a mentor―”

“I was trying to set you guys up.”

Spencer deadpans. “Set me up? With him?” Oh god, he knows you’re weird, but he’s never considered you to be outright insane (is it weird he still loves you?).

As if reading his thoughts, you roll your eyes, “Spencer, how many friends do you have outside the team?”

“Not a lot.” No hesitation, but he accepted the fact a long time ago. 

“Yeah and that’s okay. But if you’d talk to Intern, you’ll find you two have a lot in common. I know he’s younger than us, but he’s a good kid, real smart,” You give him a meaningful look and shrug, “Not like IQ 187 smart but he could definitely hold a conversation with you.”

Spencer murmurs, pulling you in so you're chest to chest, “This entire time, you were really trying to make us friends?”

You nod, your expression a mix of giddiness and hope that makes whatever feelings he felt before, the confusion and―yes, fine―the jealousy, dissolve like sugar in water. Spencer sinks into you, burying his face into the crook of your neck and inhaling your soap. Of course you had good intentions. Of course you wanted to do something nice for him.

Fuck, he loves you.

“So… we good?”

Spencer huffs, “I hope you realize how much I suffered the past few weeks.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Then yes, we’re good,” He mumbles into your shoulder, “I appreciate what you were trying to do.”

“And?”

His brow furrows and he pulls back, meeting your eyes. “And what?”

“Will you try to be friends?” You look at him expectantly.

Spencer opens his mouth to answer, a definitive no on his tongue, but then you’re giving him puppy-dog eyes and before he realizes it, “Okay.”

Wait, no. That is not what he meant to say.

“Yeah!” You throw your arms around him, and Spencer can’t stop you, grunting as you basically swing him around like a rag doll. But he finds he doesn’t care when you set him back down because you’re happy, happy for him, grinning ear to ear as you babble, “I can already tell you two are gonna be the best of friends! You guys have so much to talk about, all that nerdy stuff. Maybe even debate! And we could play chess and―”

There’s a knock and you both turn, a voice muffled by the door, “Hey, guys? I don’t want to interrupt in case you’re boning, but you didn’t exactly tell me where to wait for you? God, I hope you guys aren’t boning. Please tell me you’re not boning right now.”

You groan, “No Intern, we’re not boning! Right-uh-go ahead and meet me back at the office, I’ll be right with you.” You turn back to Spencer, sending him an apologetic look. “I will see you later, okay? And since you’ve been such a patient and understanding partner,” You plant him one last kiss before patting his cheek, and his eyes widen as your voice lowers in the way you know drives him crazy, your eyes glinting with mischief, “I’ll make it up to once we get home. Bye, love you!”

Before Spencer can fully register your words, you're out the door, cackling as you leave him to compose himself, his face beet red from running the possibilities. By the time he emerges from the break room, you’re long gone.

“Hi, Dr. Reid?”

Spencer almost snarls, cursing under his breath. Just when he thought the day was getting better. He turns back. 

Intern stands tall, relaxed and shoulders back, black tie loose and cheap white-collar button up slightly wrinkled. No doubt from working hard and following your instructions throughout the day. Spencer respects the work ethic at least. Meanwhile, the younger man eyes him, and he’s certain it’s not from intimidation but with curiosity.

Spencer doesn’t linger on that. He’s used to it, not being intimidating to others.

He continues, “It’s nice to finally talk to you, one on one I mean. I’m a fan of your work. Seven degrees, huh?”

“Yeah,” Spencer says curtly. Recalling the earlier conversation with you, he stamps down his irritation and tries to extend an olive branch. “How did you know?”

“It’s the internet, sir,” Intern raises an eyebrow, offering an innocent smile. 

“Right,” Spencer returns it with an awkward one of his own, “Hey, sorry for... literally kicking you out before. That was completely unprofessional.”

Intern waves him off, “No, it’s cool. I totally get it. I’m flattered, by the way.”

Spencer frowns. “Flattered?”

“Well, it’s not everyday you find out your superior’s jealous of you.”

Spencer blinks, and it takes all his experience as a profiler to mask his embarrassment. “You heard that.”

“The FBI’s got thin walls,” Intern shrugs and steps towards him. “Although I have to say, Agent (Your Last Name) is wrong about one thing.” Stopping short in front of him, for the first time Spencer is close enough to note the moles dotting his face. “They can’t tell that I’m flirting with them.” 

He starts down the hall after you, and Spencer’s eyes trail after him as his brow furrows, until realization slams into him and his jaw drops. “Wait, you...”

“Oh and since (Your Last Name) wants us to be friends, I think we could be on a first-name basis,” He pauses to look back at Spencer, watching with a crooked smile as the older man sputters. 

“So, you can call me Stiles, sir.”

Then once again, Spencer is left behind, frozen in the hallway as he processes what just happened.

And the next time he finds you and Special Agent Stilinski in the same room, whether it’s crowded or not, Spencer does not hesitate to cling to your side, putting as much distance between the intern and you as he can. Spencer’s grateful you don’t question it.

There may not be anyone else for you, but that doesn’t mean no one will try.

―

AN: ahhhhh thanks anon!! There was a similar request then i saw this tiktok (and listened to this tiktok the entire time) and i combined them. Id also like to emphasize that my version of reader is neutral across the board, race, gender, etc.

Yes, i have a type. No, i will not be taking criticism. 

Been hella overwhelmed with classes and work so here’s my way of destressing. Also suggest checking those tiktoks if you wanna understand me :))) also you mean to tell me i have to write the threesome myself?? Bs tbh 😔

watched 15x4 and i was so sad when Spencer addressed Luke as his coworker like no bitch hes your new bro stfu

and i have no doubt that stiles and spencer would be one of the best crossover duos given the chance 

[trustmeifyoudare]

A New Song

thank you to @to-be-frank-i-dont-care for beta reading!!!

“Paris, my name is Forte.” The akuma tugged on the collar of their suit. “For too long people have been listening to modern music rather than the classics. People prefer to listen to songs that are completely electronic than to works done by Hayden and Mozart. This shall happen no longer. I am-”

Ladybug jumped down on the rooftop where Chat Noir was already waiting. He was barely visible in the dark, but she could always find her kitty. Because he was a very good friend. Not that there was another reason. 

Ladybug looked over at the villain who was still monologuing and then over at Chat Noir. “How long has he-”

“Ten minutes. Ten minutes listening to him say modern music is crap.” Chat Noir subtly rolled his eyes.

“Well, he must be fun at parties.”

Chat Noir laughed. “He hasn’t even attacked anyone yet. He should be easy to defeat.”

Ladybug smirked. “Let’s get this over with.”

The two of them jumped to the street below. Parisians sat in their cars, honking their horns because the roads were blocked. No one was fazed that there was a supervillain.

“Oi, Falsetto,” Chat Noir called out. “Shows over. It’s time to pack your bags.”

Forte looked over at them. His mouth twisted into a sneer. “My name is Forte. For too long-”

“Yes, we get the picture. Modern society has destroyed music. No one cares for the classics. Oh no!”

Ladybug stifled a laugh. Chat Noir always looked so cute whenever he got annoyed. CURIOUS. She meant curious. It was always curious to see a different side of him.

Yeah, that was exactly what she meant… Totally… Because she was in love with someone else and that person happened to be Adrien Agreste who was in no way Chat Noir.

Ladybug was glad that Chat Noir couldn’t read minds because he might have gotten the wrong idea. In no way of the word did she find him cute. He was anything but. 

Ladybug caught her gaze traveling down to his butt.

She forced herself to look back at the akuma. It was not appropriate for her to be looking there. Though she had to admit that his butt was cute. But nothing else. Not his face or anything. Nope. 

He just wasn’t. Yep. It was just a fact.

Ladybug lightly shook her head when she realized that she had tuned out of the conversation. She started to listen again right when Forte was saying “What? You think you can beat me in a piano playing competition?”

Chat Noir leaned against a car and casually started to swing his tail around. “I don’t think so. I know so. In order to truly understand music you must be able to embrace all types whether you like the style or not.”

Ladybug bit her lip. Dang he was cute. NO. CUTE WAS THE WRONG WORD. He was…somewhat good looking for a guy, but no. Adrien was the only one who had her heart.

She zoned out again.

“Then the battle is on!” Forte yelled. “We shall see who is triumphant! I shall see you on the dueling ground!”

“You’re on.”

Ladybug scrunched up her eyebrows as the supervillain started to walk away. “What’s happening?”

Chat Noir looked at her, surprised. “You weren’t paying attention? Okay, well, he and I are going to be competing in a piano duel. First one to make a mistake loses. If we win we get his akuma but if he wins he gets my miraculous.”

Ladybug resisted the urge to smack him on the side of the head. “You’re joking.”

Chat Noir smirked. “Relax. Only my miraculous is part of the deal. There is nothing to worry about.”

“Okay. Where is this duel taking place?”

“Wow, you were really tuned out. There are two pianos in the Place de Vosges that were recently donated. We are going to be fighting there.” He held out his arm to her. “Shall we?”

Ladybug rolled her eyes. “I’d love to.”

…

A crowd had gathered to watch the fight. People had their phones out, waiting to record the thing. Alya was at the very front, already streaming live to the Ladyblog about the fight and the important details needed before watching.

Ladybug looked over at the pianos. Donated by Gabriel Agreste for those lacking style. She smiled. Adrien…Radiant…Carefree…Dreamy… 

Forte cracked his knuckles. “We might as well get this over with. Shadowmoth is already on my back for taking so long.”

The two sat down in front of their pianos. Chat Noir’s hands hovered slightly over the keys before he placed his hands down. 

Forte started a split second before Chat Noir. The crowd went silent as music filled the air. Each of them played wildly different songs, but somehow the notes blended together. Instead of the notes combining to make noise, a new song was born. 

Ladybug’s jaw dropped as Chat Noir’s fingers danced across the keys. Since when could he do this? She kept expecting his claws to get in the way, but it never happened. 

Snow started falling. Ladybug resisted the urge to brush it out of his hair.

She sat down on the ground, letting the music draw her in. The street lights fell on Chat Noir and Forte, focusing on them even with the crowds of people. 

And that was when Ladybug realized that Chat was hot.

A blush crept up her cheeks. The smirk on his face. The casual glances up to the villain just to say that he wasn’t intimidated. His foot tapping along with the beat.

Somehow, somehow, Chat was hotter than a literal model. 

Ladybug drew her legs to her chest. The song grew faster and more upbeat. Chat Noir smiled, his teeth showing.

Ladybug bit her lip. It wasn’t fair that he could be this cute. There, she admitted it. Chat Noir was cute.

The song lasted for several hours, but eventually Forte stopped playing and grabbed his wrist. He realized his mistake a second too late.

“No, wait, it was just a cramp. That doesn’t count.”

Chat Noir stopped playing and looked up at him. “The rules were clear. You lose.”

“What? No.” Forte paused before hanging his head. “Fine. You win.” He handed his glasses to Chat Noir.

“We should play together again sometime. And you should give modern music a chance.” Chat handed the glasses to Ladybug who snapped it in half and caught the akuma.

“Bye bye, little butterfly.”

Chat Noir sat down by Ladybug as the crowd slowly disappeared. “Are you cold?” He asked after everyone was gone. “Your cheeks are red.”

Ladybug stood up laughing. “Maybe a bit.” She pulled him up so they were standing together. She bit her tongue, unsure about whether or not she was making a mistake, but this might be the only chance she got.

“Bugaboo?”

Before she could second guess herself she kissed him. It was a small thing, barely a peck, but warmth flooded her face. “I guess you were okay.” She left before he could say anything, leaving him in the park with a smile on his face.

[onlydreamofmysoul]

Fire Alarm

A quick little wolfstar au for your timeline!

Sirius woke up to the alarm.

(Could one even call it ‘waking up’ if you had barely gotten to sleep?)

Either way, it was all Sirius could think about as he stumbled in around in the dark, tripping as he tried to put on a pants and shoes at the same time and falling face first onto the floor before joining the rest of the very begrudged residents of the apartment building in trudging down the stairs, all while the fire alarm blared somewhere above their heads. They poured out the front doors, into the cold night air, and it was only then that Sirius realised he was shirtless.

“Fucking fuck.” He muttered, crossing his arms over his chest in an attempt to maintain a semblance of heat. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

The elderly woman who lived in the apartment next to him was glaring at him, like it had been his idea to set off the alarm in the first place. Sirius wasn’t sure of she was annoyed because of the extremely late hour (four in the morning to be exact), Sirius’ lack of clothing on the upper region of his body, or the fact that just yesterday; he had announced to her that he was a raging homosexual after she had attempted to set him up with her granddaughter, but either way, Etta in apartment 6B was not a member of the Sirius Black Fan Club.

If the cold and overall shock of the whole experience hadn’t woken him up, the wails and flashing lights of the fire trucks would have. Sirius gave up any hope of going back to bed anytime soon.

“I suppose there goes my plans to stay in bed until the last possible moment,” Came a voice from behind him, and Sirius turned to see him. Apartment 7C. He lived directly above Sirius and could occasionally be known to be playing the piano in the middle of the night, but that was all Sirius knew of the man.

(Oh, and that he now knew for a fact that it’s possible to be completely head over heels for a stranger).

“Remus Lupin.” 7C said, holding out his hand. Sirius blinked.

“Oh uh,” Remus had long slim fingers, the type of hands that must have inspired the first person to make a piano to create such an instrument. Sirius shook his hand, conscious of the fact that while Remus’ skin was as soft as a cloud, Sirius used more hand sanitiser than he did oxygen, and his skin hated him for it. “Sirius Black. I think I’m in the apartment under you.”

Remus smirked, his eyes glittering and the scar across his face shifting as he smiled. “I know.” He grinned, a gust of wind rippling through his curls. “You like to play music on that record player of yours at very strange times.”

“Says the midnight Mozart.” Sirius countered and wondered if it were possible to see a person's heartbeat through their bare chest when Remus laughed and Sirius’ traitorous heart thundered in response.

“So,” Remus said, pulling off his green jumper to reveal a knit cardigan underneath. “Here,” He offered the jumper to Sirius, who just stared at it for a moment. “It’s cold out.”

Sirius nodded his thanks and shrugged on the sweater, the fabric soft against his skin. It smelled faintly of lemons and peppermint and Sirius had to stop himself from breathing it in.

“Did you just get back from work?” Remus asked, apparently not bothered that Sirius’ brain had decided to take the night off, eyeing Sirius’ blue scrub pants.

Sirius sighed, rubbing his face. “Yeah, maybe an hour ago? I was only meant to be on shift until twelve but then there was an incident involving a stethoscope, a pillow case and a bedpan, that I would really love to forget, that resulted in me having to stay a little later than planned.” He met Remus’ eyes for the first time. Amber. Well now Sirius was really fucked. “Nurses are too underpaid for this shit.”

Remus chuckled, even as he looked sympathetic to Sirius’ cause. “Well, my Mum was a nurse for forty years. How about I take you out for coffee and I swear I can tell you a story that will make the last twenty four hours seem like paradise.”

Sirius smiled for the first time that night (but not the last, he suspected) and nodded. “Yeah,” He said, toying with the cuffs of his borrowed jumper. “Yeah I’d love that.”

[dreamscapesin1582]

Vampires + Model MC

SCENARIO:

MC used to model for the ads of their travel agency. It escalated there and somewhat she received a few offers of modelling for catalogs and women’s magazines.

For some reason, she had a few of those with her when she got teleported to 19th century France and she fell in love and blahblahblah.

One day, she was shopping for groceries when her lover entered her room and found some interesting books peeking out of her purse.

Let’s say it’s the summer edition… aka swimsuits :))))

IKESEN VERSION: Oda Forces  ||  Uesugi-Takeda Alliance

NAPOLEON BONAPARTE

*eyes emoji*

“oh shit”

what did i just stumble upon

he backs away, then thinks that it must be a future thing

“so we’re good” then he takes it again

“she never told me she used to model”

browses through every page with a furrow in his brow

like yall really be telling me that ppl see this for free?

where was this when i was cold and alone in my throne

the future is w i l d,,,

he’s not that fond of books but he will definitely keep this one

f o r   s u r e

when mc gets back, napo will def ask her abt it

WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART

“all these years in solitude and i still get blessed by the world”

why do i even go outside, i wonder

anyways mozart tries to put it back

mozart really tried to put it back

narrator: mozart could not put it back

makes sure no one is around before opening it again

“will this be the reason why jean will finally disown me”

nah lets just call it…….. m o t i v a t i o n

whenever he is in the music room, there are two (2) things in front of him

sheet music and the magazine

conclusion: he has no shame

“ITS FOR THE GLORY OF MY MUSIC MC”

LEONARDO DA VINCI

this one is up for any adventure amirite

so when he saw the magazines?

he just found the fucking treasure

yeah thats right im talking bout u

love yourself my hoes

a n y w a y s

after all those centuries, leonardo da vinci has never been this interested in anything

i mean being dead inside and all

he will examine the shit out of that magazine

the p e r f e c t i o n

he would admire how accurate the pictures are,,,,, and how s e x y

smirksmirksmirksmirk

ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE

…………..what do u even expect lmao

jk guess what

contrary to common belief, the moment arthur witnessed the sheer power that is your body dressed in full glory

is the moment all his blood evacuated to his face

and ejected itself through the orifice that is his nose

b o l l o c k s

bless the gods that created the female sex

bless your mother

“oh fuck it bless everyone”

and he meant it

he blessed everyone with the collection of your pictures

imagine theo snapping his neck once it reached vincent lol

VINCENT VAN GOGH

he was just innocently killing time in your room, waiting for u

and then the devil inside him presented itself through a magazine

just poppin out of nowhere like “sURpRiSE moThERfUcKEr”

anyways he was like “oh!”

oh my go od ne s s g ra cio u s

anyone can see the sun in sunshine boi

considering how hot his face feels

it doesnt help that the pictures were clear and pretty

accurately taking every curve–

“broer i was wondering if that next painting is done—BROER?!”

that’s theo finding him passed out with the evidence lmao

ISAAC NEWTON

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA he’s gone bro

the brain of the genius is now dysfunctional

“iS tHiS LegAL???????”

he looks at the pictures with both horror and sexual frustration lol

nervously takes it away

for science part 2

cue mc coming back later in the day

“isaac have you seen the magazine in my purse?”

spits tea

“huh w-what magazine no i didnt see a magazine idk any magazine what is a magazine even”

mc is partly amused at how he said that in a second

“god pls take me away”

here it is,,,, i couldnt help myself since i keep seeing my model mc hcs blowing up my notifs lolololol

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Ikevamp Act 2.5

Chapter 16 Romantic

On the night of the Paris World's Fair bombing, I returned to the mansion for the first time in a while.

After some deliberation, I took Halil back with me and showed him to my room.

Mitsuki: "I'm sure you're still in pain, so you should stay here and rest, Halil."

Halil: "Okay. Thanks, big sister."

I left the room and went to the living room.

Isaac & Jean: "Mitsuki!"

There, all the residents of the mansion are gathered around, perhaps being informed of my return.

Mitsuki: "I'm so sorry for worrying you all!"

A large hand patted my deeply bowed head.

Napoleon: "Whatever the case, I'm glad you're safe, Mitsuki."

Jean: "I'm sorry for not noticing you were gone."

Isaac: "Are you hurt anywhere? You're so reckless once you're on your own."

Napoleon, Jean, and Isaac were with me back then, so they must have been worried.

Mitsuki: "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm really sorry. Thank you for worrying about me."

Dazai: "I'm relieved that you're safe, Toshiko-san. By the way..."

Dazai suddenly shifted his gaze.

Dazai: "Who are those three unfamiliar faces over there? Are those who I think they are?"

Leonardo: "That’s right."

Vlad: "This is the first time we've met in person like this."

Vlad: "I'm Vlad. Glad to meet all of Comte's family."

Arthur: "So those two fellows over there are Johann Georg Faust and..."

Mozart: "Charles-Henri Sanson."

Faust: "I never thought we would meet head-on like this."

Charles: "................."

There is a tense atmosphere as everyone is gathered in the same room.

Jean: "So you're the one behind Gilles's manipulation and even Mitsuki's abduction."

Vlad: "That's right. Oh, Will. You're here too, long time no see."

Shakespeare: "Lord Vlad, what brings you to the mansion?"

Napoleon: "You didn't just come to drop Mitsuki off, did you?"

Comte: "Let me explain that to you."

Comte first tells everyone that I was at the World's Fair with Vlad and that I got caught up in the bombing.

Theo: "What are you doing at the World's Fair with these guys again, Hondje?"

Mitsuki: "That's..."

Charles: "I invited her to go. I wanted Mitsuki to smile."

Vincent: "For Mitsuki?"

Theo and Vincent both look surprised, but Comte continues his story.

Comte: "We took a boy into custody at the scene of the bombing. His name is Halil, and we brought him home."

Comte: "He was on display at the World's Fair as an exhibit."

~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~

Halil: "Please, find my sister!"

Halil pleaded with tears in his eyes.

Halil and his wandering clan were forced to participate in the Paris World's Fair after repeated negotiations with the showman.

However, when they were brought to Paris, his sister, who had come with them, went missing.

Halil: "When my sister disappeared, I saw the man who brought us here getting paid by someone."

Halil: "So I thought maybe she was sold somewhere."

(That's, don't tell me...)

Faust: "Human trafficking?"

Leonardo: "That means the showman is connected to the traffickers."

When Halil and his group questioned the showman, he told them that he had left the matter in the hands of the police, and they had no permission to go looking for his sister, so he was forced to work as an exhibit.

Halil: "If anything happens to my sister―to Ulfa, I..."

~~~~~~~Flashback Ends~~~~~~~

Mozart: "I'm starting to get the story. You want to save the boy and his sister?"

Mitsuki: "Yes. I don't know if the police will act, but I can't just turn a blind eye to this."

(Besides, it might be some kind of coincidence that we are all meeting like this.)

Mozart: "You seem very determined."

Dazai: "It's a very straightforward idea, just like you."

As I felt relieved that everyone was listening, Arthur, with a serious expression on his face, frowned slightly.

Arthur: "I understand how you feel, Mitsuki."

Arthur: "But why do those vampires even want to meddle in this case?"

(I was wondering about that too. Why did Vlad even show up in front of everyone and come with us?)

(He seems like he cares about Halil, though.)

Vlad opens his lips as everyone's eyes are focused on him.

Vlad: "Halil and his sister―they are a little different from other humans."

Vlad: "They are probably a Dhampir, one with vampire blood. A descendant of it."

(Dhampir?)

The fact that Halil has vampire blood and the unfamiliar word is confusing.

Comte: "A Dhampir is a hybrid between a pureblood vampire and a human."

According to what Comte tells us, pureblooded vampires differ in the way they relate to humans depending on their clan.

Some clans consider humans only as their prey and do not interact with them at all. Others hide their true identities and blend in with human society, but some reveal their true identities to humans and seek coexistence with them.

Comte: "Some of the purebloods made love to humans. Some tried to be together, while others parted, but..."

Comte: "Halil's ancestors probably bonded with a pureblood and miraculously produced a mixed-breed child, Dhampir."

Because of the difference in race between humans and vampires, it's difficult for both to have children, and in most cases, Dhampirs are rarely born safely or grow up to adulthood.

Vlad: "In a way, you could say that Dhampir is the end result of vampires and humans trying to coexist."

(Coexistence...?)

Leonardo: "Ancestral Dhampirs grew up and had offspring with humans..."

Leonardo: "I guess the end result of that cycle is Halil and his sister."

Comte: "I don't think he's aware that he has vampire blood in him..."

Comte: "Halil has a very little vampire in him. He wouldn't even need to drink blood."

Vlad: "However, the stories of his ancestors were passed down in the family as folklore."

Vlad: "The showman took note of their different ethnicity and strange folklore..."

Vlad: "I guess he brought Halil and his family along to make a show of it."

Neither the showman nor Halil and the others believe the lore to be true.

Vlad: "But what if they really have vampire blood in their veins?"

(Ah!)

Vlad's words brought to mind a scene I saw at the World's Fair.

~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~

Showman: "This boy here, Halil, is a descendant of the head of a certain family."

Showman: "And it is said that his ancestors once mingled with a fearsome vampire and produced an offspring!"

Onlooker 2: "You have the blood of a monster in your veins? Might as well see if you have any interesting fangs."

~~~~~~~Flashback Ends~~~~~~~

The sound of the onlookers' mocking voices is not something nice to recall.

Isaac: "Wait, not many people believe in vampires that easily, do they?"

Faust: "But even if there's no basis for it, if it continues to be talked about, as it was at the World's Fair..."

Faust: "The family could be looked upon as an abomination."

Charles: "You mean they will be hated and persecuted...?"

Sebastian: "I have heard that even now, people are being made suspects in bombings simply because they are of a different race."

(Place of birth, environment, race. Minor differences like that can lead to discrimination and suspicion.)

If such negative feelings develop among people, the family may be ostracized in the worst-case scenario.

Vincent: "Vlad, are you saying that you also want to help them?"

Theo: "Are you worried that the vampire's existence might be carelessly exposed to the world?"

Vlad: "Whatever the reason, yes."

(Then everyone and Vlad feel the same way.)

(If we all work together, we can even help Halil.)

If we could join hands as Comte and Vlad did in the past, we would be able to reach out to each other.

Such faint hopes are held in my heart.

Dazai: "Let me ask you something."

Dazai: "If you saved their clan, what will you do with those who preyed on them afterward?"

(----!)

Vlad: "................"

My heart made a sickening sound at Dazai's question.

(Vlad has the ambition to manage thoughts so that humans don't commit stupid sins.)

(He says he's willing to make sacrifices in the process.)

If he follows that belief, Vlad...

Vlad: "I don't need flowers that do evil. I don't need those who have become irredeemably ugly and evil in this world."

Vlad: "I will reap the bud of sin, even if it stains my hands with blood."

Comte: "Vlad!"

Vlad's relentlessness instantly caused everyone's air to tense up.

Mitsuki: "Wait, Vlad! If you keep making sacrifices like that, you will..."

(You'll crush your own heart, more and more.)

Vlad: "I just don't want people to make mistakes."

Vlad: "They hate and kill each other. No one should ever have to experience that kind of sorrow again."

For a moment, Vlad's eyes turn sad and shadowy, but they are quickly drowned out by his strong will.

Napoleon: "Is that your justice, Vlad?"

Vlad: "Yeah."

Napoleon's words poke at a gap that cannot be filled.

Vlad gave only a short reply, stood up, and turned his back on us.

Jean: "Wait. Where are you going!?"

Vlad: "I'm not going to excuse myself for what I put you guys through. You can come after me and put your sword through this chest."

Vlad: "I'm not going to die, though."

His crimson eyes looked back at me, and our gazes locked.

Mitsuki: "Vlad..."

Vlad: "Mitsuki, I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you wanted."

Vlad: "For the future of this world, I will make my choice, even if no one understands it."

Vlad: "Bye-bye, Comte, Mitsuki."

The smile he gave me as he said goodbye was so beautiful it made me speechless.

Faust & Charles: "............"

Faust and Charles also left the room after Vlad, and I just stood there.

(Why it's not possible?)

(Why can't we just go hand in hand...?)

Everyone watched in silence as their footsteps faded into the distance.

Vlad, noticing the presence following him, asks them both without slowing down his steps.

Vlad: "Both of you, do you not want to go to Comte and the others?"

Charles: "Nah, the only lord for me is you, Lord Vlad. Right, Docteur?"

Faust: "I simply prefer the more interesting guinea pig."

Faust: "If I'm going to go after a pureblood, I prefer to dissect an old geezer so creepy it makes me want to peek inside his head."

Charles: "You really are a twisted person."

Vlad smiles unconsciously at the unchanged attitude of both of them.

Charles: "Hey, Lord Vlad, do you want to help that family because you're like them?"

Vlad: ".............."

Vlad: "Pity and compassion may sound kind, but in the end, it's all about my staggering ego."

Faust: "Ego?"

Vlad: "Helping only those you can reach is a stopgap measure. This cruel world will not change."

Vlad: "I know that, but..."

Vlad: "A descendant of Dhampir, born of the coexistence of humans and vampires."

Vlad: "I just couldn't abandon that existence."

Faust & Charles: "............"

Faust: "Everyone's heart is so egoistic."

The conversation melted into the quiet night, and the three disappeared into the woods without looking back at the mansion.

Comte: "Vlad was once treated badly as a child by someone he trusted."

Comte: "Maybe he compared his own circumstances to that family."

Leonardo: "Whatever the past may have been, it's no reason to forgive inhumanity. We have no right to condemn his righteousness."

Napoleon: "But we can't just leave Vlad alone now that he's involved in all this."

(Vlad's heartfelt wish is for a kind world where vampires and humans live together.)

(Why are we so different from each other?)

We understand each other's feelings, but our hearts don't click like we are out of each other's reach.

I feel like I'm lost in a maze with no way out.

As I was thinking about this, I noticed a small shadow peeking into the room.

Mitsuki: "Halil?"

Halil: "I'm causing trouble for everyone. I'm sorry."

Mitsuki: "No, it's not your fault."

I crouch down in front of Halil, who apologetically slumps his shoulders.

He looked at me with big eyes. Suddenly, Vlad's words came back to me.

~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~

Vlad: "In a way, you could say that Dhampir is the end result of vampires and humans trying to coexist."

~~~~~~~Flashback Ends~~~~~~~

(Existence for coexistence.)

He has a faint hint of vampire blood in him, inherited from his ancestors.

In the distant past, his ancestors, both human and vampire, were united.

Even if they are of different races, live different lengths of time, or think differently, they surely seek to know the other person.

Connecting heart to heart.

(Everyone can be connected. Halil's existence proves it.)

Halil: "Big sister?"

I gently hold Halil's hand.

His slightly warm body temperature, distinctive of a child, overlapped with my own, and I felt encouraged by it.

(Let's believe again that we can hold each other's hands...)

(I'll connect us all...)

(So I'm not going to waver anymore.)

I stand up, still holding hands with Halil, and turn to everyone.

I look over at each person's face and speak my mind.

Mitsuki: "Everyone, I want to help Halil and his clan. And I also want to stop Vlad."

Comte: "Mitsuki..."

Mitsuki: "I know it's out of line to ask you to do this after the attack led by Vlad."

Mitsuki: "But I don't want his hands to be stained with more blood."

(Humans commit sins and mistakes. But if he still says he likes humans...)

(No matter how distorted that love may be, I want to be sincere with him as a human being.)

Napoleon: "Mitsuki, I don't know if your desperation will stop that guy. Do you still want to?"

Mitsuki: "Still. I don't want to give up before I've done anything yet."

Mitsuki: "I know this is all a selfish request. But please lend me your help!"

This is ego, arrogance, and pretense. But still, I bowed my head, knowing everything.

The silence continues for what feels like an eternity.

Comte: "This might be my last chance to find out what's in that guy's heart."

Mitsuki: "Comte..."

Shakespeare: "Lord Vlad himself has made a move. He will not abandon the family like this."

Dazai: "Then I guess there will be another chance for contact, huh?"

Mozart: "You're really reckless."

Jean: "It's not the first time."

The twelve of them smile and nod.

(Everyone...)

I felt our hearts unite, and my chest burns passionately.

I said "thank you" in a hushed voice and squeezed Halil's hand.

Previous Part╏Next Part

[jaggedwolf]

air support, we need you (or: tscosi 2x09)

some bomb dropping, ofc, spoilers below duh

same game, top three things i had feelings ‘bout in reverse order

3. time skip time! Everyone could use a bit of a breather, even if it can’t live up to Arkady’s goat farm dreams

I thought all the planet assignments made sense, even if the completionist in me wanted it to differ more from the split that had already happened this season

ok ok the shipper in me was 50-50 but we’ll address that later

2. my man park!! is back!!! 

Showing up with an anti-aircraft missile launcher as a wedding gift. I kept joking that Park would keep up his finale trend of showing up as a surprise being cool (as cool as Park can be anw), and thought it wouldn’t happen till it did!

and him also quietly saying the defector wasn’t Shelly....Park...are you going to talk about this...

narrowly avoided extended crew singing for the third time, will he keep up this success rate?

I would take a mini-episode that just followed Park in the second half of the season (Park: I am an independent man who needs no crew)

1. Arkady attacking Krejjh because she thinks they’re an enemy, AND then McCabe pulling a gun on her to make sure she didn’t run away. Bro. Bro, that shit was a direct hit to the id. Do I even have words for how good that was

Knowing what was about to happen as soon as Arkady said “You” in that tone of voice, ugh

Krejjh saying Arkady instead of First Mate Patel in desperation, and then brushing it off with a :D after

But god, McCabe. They’ve been so compelling this season, and yeah, maybe they’re approaching everything like a nail with the hammer they’ve got that shoots bullets, but the point is, it fuckin works 

Arkady buys the threat (the promise of her crew’s safety?) more than she buys Krejjh’s reassurances 

(though reading the transcript, Krejjh specifically telling Arkady “Science Officer Liu will never forgive you”, not “forgive us”, is excellent too)

“the only authority figures yet to disappoint me” / “I’m not an authority figure” / “you don’t get to decide that” is just like. embedded in my mind. just McCabe going no, you don’t get to run verbally either.

Do you ever think about how Arkady and McCabe had like, different kinds of fucked up childhoods compared to the rest of the crew. Like obviously McCabe ending up an agent so young and the stuff about their family suggests a pretty secure background, but it feels like the IGR and Dwarnian war starting when they were 12 gives them a kind of cynicism that meshes well with Arkady’s, in a way that’s distinct from how Arkady and Violet’s morbidness mesh, or Arkady and Sana’s pragmatism

ok more character feels under the cut

don’t scandalize the grandparents

A married man! 

Impressed he made it through the season with no baddies wrecking his oxygen

Always ready to point out that Arkady is actually as much of a nerd as he is

AKA I didn’t realize it was a Mozart reference till he said so. Arkady defies the jock-nerd chart

okay who of Arkady or Krejjh is gonna tell him about MMA fight outside, or did they do a whole team debrief. For Arkady’s sake I’m hoping not the latter, though I guess everyone else would like an explanation for McCabe’s gun-pointing??

likes solving problems without guns, would prefer solving them by FLYING SPACESHIPS 

Krejjh watches McCabe’s gun strategy work on Arkady and goes “do you folks really live like this?? why???”

I do love that their first thought on what to do next is to run a bunch of supplies around, probably between human populations that are going to be a wary at seeing a dwarnian show up. (Eat it, Eejjhgreb)

Kinda wonder if their feelings about getting choked out by their buddy are in fact more complicated than “it’s chill dude, please don’t do something stupid”

The cutest vow

who needs to calm down your crewmates with annoying words when you can just point a gun at them

Seriously where is the human-dwarnian war AU where it lasts longer or happens later where McCabe is the baby sniper posted to Arkady’s unit and they squabble a bunch (and perhaps kiss? When I wrote my third ever ficlet for this fandom never did I anticipate actually being interested in that)

what % of their Mirzakhani choice was thinking “what if Arkady tries to run from the goat farm and no one’s around to point a gun at her” jk jk

Their exclusion of Park from authority figures that didn’t disappoint them is fascinating. Is it that he left hoping for Shelly when it probably wasn’t her, or that he isn’t an authority figure anymore, a combination there of?

Or worst of all, is it that when he didn’t kill Krejjh back in 1x10, that really was a disappointment, no matter how much it might’ve been mixed with relief, and you can’t undo that moment?

What if they and Park talked. But I don’t think Park is going to goat planet, so that seems unlikely.

Their apology to Sana for heightened Martineau security! And Sana reiterating the profound gratefulness bit, gah

mostly read other people’s words and yet sparked consideration of two different OT3s, her power.

you know what, everyone deciding Sana is the best person to read words makes complete sense

There was one specific moment this episode that sent my mind into a tizzy about V/A/S, and it was Arkady going FINE GO ASK THE CAPTAIN THEN at how firm Violet was that Tripathi would be the one driving her, not Arkady.

I need you to understand that my V/A/S OT3 opinions are such that my shipping feels were more set off by that than Sana and Violet telling Arkady they were proud of her for choosing goat planet or whatever, like I don’t even know what dynamic was so captured by that argument, rip at Arkady having to be systems apart from them again

Though ofc my heart was buoyed by Sana’s earnest “Kady, you do more than that”, I want these two to go do a job together again, I miss that

To shift gears, I cannot believe “Lenny” started out as Sana being absolutely furious at the people threatening her crew and has ended up a teasing in-joke between her and Park, my Sana/Park shipping feels were very content. (When does Sana learn that Park didn’t get to hear the long list of fake crimes the Rumor crew specifically confessed to Lenny? This must be fixed. Tell him about the diamonds!)

Campbell said “Park, let me show you where we’ve been sleeping.” and my brain went. Wait. This is actually a good OT3?? Park is already unnerved by Sana’s earnest captaining, he should get unnerved by Campbell’s default magnanimity, please consider this

this is also where I point out that all these major characters have very convenient names for indicating ships solely via letters. V/A! B/K! S/P/C! This may solve my ot3 tagging problem...

get off that cotton candy boat, vi

Haha I loved that line from Doc Robinson she’s so no-nonsense, love Violet agreeing to work with her

Doc also said menders and I thought about this post again and also the team split and ahhh

But no, I very much liked Violet gently crushing Arkady’s goat farm dreams, and the two of them awkwardly discussing the very awkward stage things are at while still getting a feel for how the other operates

These nerds are trying and I’m still fond of them

at some point I was gonna make fun of Vi for not being able to drive before realising 1. she probably didn’t want to deprive the others of a vehicle 2. that would be incredibly hypocritical of me

wait does the igr have excellent public transport when they aren’t bombing it i take back every bad thing i’ve said abou-

*ahem* same question about the MMA fight debrief I had for Brian, it would be so funny if the situation was so rushed that like, Arkady+McCabe explain to Brian on the farm and Krejjh has to tackle everyone else

tick, tock, walking bomb, when it stops, nobody knows

arkady is so whumpable, and this show knows it

Redundant, but love how terrified of herself she is after hurting Krejjh and how strangely reassured she is by McCabe’s gun antics. And how she doesn’t like thinking of herself as an authority figure on the ship even though she literally is as First Mate

is ready to monologue about all major life events and the crew frickin knows it

is trying to help herself and stuff, still grumbling about it. in worse shape this season than last - probably all the constant discussion of the inevitable war just kept building stuff up and she kept ignoring it because haha who wants to deal with this prickly mess of a person haha

did i mention she’s the best

hope she gets her full goat farm dream one day, even if it’s not on actual goat farm

[mercheswan]

“Tara come on! Don’t make me! It’s going to be super boring!” Theo complained following his sister down the street.

“Do you know how difficult it was to get this tickets Theo? Very difficult, He is a prodigy, like a modern Mozart!” Tara argued to her brother.

Theo took the tickets to look at the pianist name, miecz… he lifted his eyebrow. “At least Mozart had a name that was pronounceable” Theo added.

Tara hit Theo on the arm. “It’s just a piano recital, you’re not going to die”

“They are boring, classical music is boring, all the pieces sound the same” Theo huffed.

“Well I don’t care, you owe me for that time, so you’re coming. Just sit, listen and look pretty” Tara smiles her bitch smile.

“I can do pretty just fine” Theo joked with a smirk. Tara rolled her eyes with fondness before entering to the concert hall.

They had good ticked on the second floor with direct view to the piano and the orchestra. Theo was planning to sleep during the whole concert, but her sister silently squeaked in glee when I young boy came to the stage. The boy was around their age, with pale skin and untamed hair. He was wearing a shirt and suit trousers. When he turned around to wave to the crow Theo noticed that he had a nice behind. Then the boy seated on the piano.

“Wait-t! That’s him? That’s the pianist?” Theo said a little bit too loud so the couple behind them shushed him.

“Yeah” Tara whispered.

“I thought he’ll be old and bald” Theo whispered back.

“He is your age. I told you he was a prodigy! Now shut up and listen!” Tara said ending the conversation.

And Theo did. Shut up and listen. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the stage. The boy played with intensity, the music was enchanting and emotional. Theo didn’t even noticed when the audience stood up to applause and the boy receivers the ovation. In automatic Theo clapped too. Then the concert was over and Theo was left wanting more.

“So what did you think?” Tara asked while they exited the hall.

“W-what?” Theo asked. Tara looked at him. “Oh it was good, he is, he is all right” Theo added.

Tara smiled. “See! I told you! I saw you were very into it. Or maybe into him…” Tara teased with a smirk.

“Fuck off!” Theo said while Tara laughed out loud at his brother’s embarrassment.

In the following days Theo tried to find information about the young pianist. There wasn’t much about him, but he saw that he has another concert planned for the following week. So he bought a ticket. Front row.

Watching, Mieczyslaw, up close was even better, Theo could see the boy’s gestures and his expression of concentration while he played. Theo was specially mesmerised about the boy’s mouth and how he played with his tongue. But Theo reminded himself that a piano recital was not the place to get turned on. Theo bought tickets for following concerts as well, he recognised all the pieces he played by now but Mieczyslaw always palyed them in a different way.

Theo was starting to feel like a stalker, or some really big fanatic. He really wanted to meet the pianist face to face but there were no meet and greets with piano players. So it meant that Theo had to create the meet and greet, by getting into backstage after a recital. Thankfully there wasn’t much security, but Theo didn’t really know where he was going, until he bumped into someone.

“Ouch” Theo huffed. In front of him was his favourite pianist.

“Hot front row guy” Mieczyslaw said in a soft voice.

Theo blinked. Hot?. “Mieczyslaw…” It was Theo’s opportunity.

“Oh wow, you’ve actually pronounced it correctly” Mieczyslaw laughed, and it might have been Theo’s imagination but his cheeks looked a little bit red. “Call me Stiles, no one calls me by my real name” Stiles smiled. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh yeah, I tollaty sneaked, sorry, Umm, I just wanted to meet you” Theo confessed.

“I’ve seen you before, in previous shows” Stiles said and Theo smirked. Stiles moved his head to the side to try and hide his blush. “You must really like classical music” Stiles alleged

“I’m into you” Theo said. Stiles looked at with with surprise in his face. Theo noticed what he just said. “Y-your music!” Theo didn’t really want to look like an obsessed fan, although he was a little bit.

“Only my music?” Stiles said getting closer to Theo. Too close.

Theo grinned. Stiles was into him as well or he had no preservation instinct. Or maybe both. “Let me invite you to a drink” Theo said. Stiles smiled.

Theo really was into Stiles.

[michals]

Can I request some Luther and Vanya scene please

I had a more solemn, angstier idea for this then thought, naw, I'm just gonna let 'em hang out, haha. This is the album in the fic btw.

-

Allison jokingly calls them ‘playdates’ no matter how many times Diego protests and rolls his eyes. But Vanya has to agree with her, they really are kind of like playdates. Since the big reunion that was the end of the world…ends of the world, the seven of them have spent plenty of time together as a whole – usually in the form of family dinners that turn into all night group therapy sessions involving a lot of booze. But besides that they’ve gotten into the habit of breaking off into twos, spending more time one on one with each other. Playdates.

There isn’t a schedule for it but somehow Vanya always finds herself with Luther on Tuesdays. This Tuesday the record shop down the street from her apartment reopened after a remodel and it just seemed like something he’d like.

She was right, Luther walks out of the store with a stack at least 20 records tall. She thinks he probably made the shop owner’s whole week. A lot of the talk of 80’s rock divas and synth bands were lost on her but Luther enjoyed himself.

“Seriously I’ve been looking for this forever,” Luther says excitedly, holding up the one on the top. Vanya’s never heard of The Hothouse Flowers but then again she’s more a Mozart fan.

“You’re gonna run out of space in your room soon,” she tells him.

“Oh I’m converting dad’s office,” Luther says nonchalantly. “Like a music library or something.”

Vanya’s surprised, the Great Purge of the Academy mansion has been extensive yes, but so far dad’s office and bedroom have remained mostly off limits. That Luther’s the one to finally take that step is a good sign, she thinks proudly to herself.

Luther walks her home without it being a question. It’s early November now and the temperature dropped from mild to ‘good lord it’s fucking cold out I had to actually wear pants today’ – as Klaus puts it – in a matter of days. Vanya’s already broken out her thickest coat that looks like she’s smuggling something underneath.

“Want a beer?” she asks when they reach her place.

“Yeah, sounds nice,” Luther answers, stepping in behind her. She doesn’t really need to offer anything, Luther’s welcome to just hang out, because they do ‘hang out’ now. She spent over a decade out in the world but she’s never had a lot of friends. ‘Hanging out’ with everyone has been a welcome addition to her life.

She shucks her shoes but not her coat when they get inside the apartment, Luther awkwardly attempts to unlace his boots until Vanya takes the records from him. She makes sure he sees how delicately she places them on the counter.

He takes a seat on the couch, the same place he usually sits, as Vanya goes to the fridge. “I’ve got grapes and some pretzels too if you’d like some.”

“No no, I’m fine,” Luther says unconvincingly. Vanya nods like she believes him but takes the bag of pretzels with her, the beers in her other hand. He takes the beer then eyes the pretzels for a second before taking a handful. Vanya holds back a sly smile, she likes that she knows him well enough now.

They sit for a moment in silence as they open the bottles and take a drink. Then Luther looks around, brow furrowed.

“Is it really cold in here?”

She laughs, she was wondering if he was even going to notice. Super endurance and all. “Yeah, it is, sorry.”

“Do you…not want the heat on?”

“Radiator’s broken,” she says with a shrug, “I’ve told the super about it and he told me he’ll get to it.” (She’d mentioned it to Diego a couple days ago at lunch and had to insist that no, she doesn’t need him to ‘intimidate’ him for her, thank you though.)

Luther looks to the radiator across the room like he’s trying to see what’s wrong with it from here. He points and tentatively asks, “Can I?”

Vanya’s a bit taken aback, she has no idea what he can do about it but she gestures, says, “Yeah go ahead.”

Luther goes to the radiator, looks it over and then unceremoniously drops to sit cross legged in front of it. He looks down at the gasket that’s covered in rust.

“You have a wrench?”

Vanya almost laughs at that. “The only tool I have here is a corkscrew.” She’s never been all that handy.

Luther purses his lips, kind of shrugs and wraps his hand around it and turns. Who needs a wrench when you have super strength?

“Bucket and a rag?”

Those Vanya can provide, she grabs them from under the sink and brings them over. Luther fiddles with the gasket for second, puts the bucket under it and with another twist a stream of air bursts out of it and water sluices into the bucket. Vanya just watches in interest. After a moment the air stops and Luther replaces the gasket, wipes the water from it.

“Try it now,” he says. She turns the thermostat on for the first time in nearly two weeks. “Give it a second.”

She brings his beer over, hands it to him with a curious look. “How’d you know how to do that?”

He shrugs, “The one in the bedroom hallway broke a couple years ago, I had to figure it out.”

She tilts her head as she considers this. “Luther do you know how to fix other stuff?”

He gives another shrug. “Well, yeah I suppose. The house is pretty old.”

She’s never had to consider it before but now that she hears it it makes perfect sense. She’d never actually seen a repairman or a plumber or any kind of worker in the mansion though she’s sure there must have been a couple, she can’t imagine dad debasing himself to fix a clogged sink. But Luther’s lived in that house his whole life, it figures he’d taken over the upkeep of it.

“Why?” he asks, taking a sip of his beer, “Anything else broken?”

She lets out a sigh that turns into a laugh. “Well, the intercom’s never worked, and the latch on that window broke off – that’s how Mrs. Kowalski’s cat keeps getting in. Oh and the oven never gets very hot.”

Luther frowns in confusion. “You pay to live here right?”

She smiles again and it’s her turn to shrug. “I do, yeah. I know I should probably pester Dillion – the super – more but…” Honestly she hasn’t thought about it much, those problems have been around for a long time and she’d just learned to live with them without making a fuss, she used to be like that. It’s not til right now that she realizes she doesn’t have to anymore. She’s gotten a lot better at making a fuss.

“I can fix those,” Luther says.

“Really? Even the intercom?”

Luther tilts his head, says humbly, “I mean I did rebuild the towncar’s engine, it can’t be harder than that.”

And now Vanya’s really surprised. “The whole engine?”

“I, uh, had a lot of time on my hands,” he says sheepishly. And that does make her feel sort of bad. He’d been hidden away in that house for so long, she hadn’t spared it a thought back then. For all her own isolation, even after she left, she’d never considered that her brother was feeling it too.

Luther holds his hand up to the radiator, “Looks like it’s working now.”

Vanya puts her hand by it too, relief hitting her as she feels it heating up, she won’t have to sleep in her coat tonight. Luther gets to his feet, Vanya pretends to help though she knows he outweighs her by her whole body weight. He makes to go back to his seat when Vanya asks:

“You wanna put the record on?”

Luther’s eyes practically light up, “Yeah?” He’s already starting towards the stack on the counter, “This is their best album, debut, 1988.”

She takes her seat on the armchair, takes some pretzels as Luther goes on some more about the record as he carefully places it on her (admittedly very cheap) record player and starts it up. He gives a satisfied little nod as the song starts then returns to his place on the couch.

Vanya sits back and listens for a bit, and yeah, it’s not quite her style but Luther’s smiling.

“Next Tuesday?” she asks, “For the intercom?”

He settles back into the couch, “Yeah, Tuesday’s good.”

[beneaththemasks]

Analyzing Atsushi and Akutagawa pt.1 (I have a lot to say so there's gonna be a part 2)

CW: Dazai hate

first of all I want to clarify that I don’t think any of this is going to happen but it’d be really nice if it did... however, since BSD is a fiction story and my analysis is based on what would be ideal in the real life I don’t think it’s too likely for this to happen.

I think Atsushi should leave the ADA and Akutagawa should leave the Port Mafia.

To begin with, I’d like to tell you how I came up with this idea; 

The thing is that in the BSD fandom there’s this (sadly too popular) discussion about Atsushi being a good, strong and entertaining main character or not. Many times I’ve seen people discussing this as if it was simply and wholy a matter of yes or no and the more the discussion grows the more angry I get (but i get angry too easily so don’t mind me).

In my opinion Atsushi is not weak, I actually don’t think any character in BSD is tbh (I mean they’d beat the shit out of me even if they don’t know how to fight because all ever do with my life is sit on my tiny piano and play my silly little mozart). But leaving the physical strenght aside, I still don’t think he’s a weak/strong or boring/entretaining character. I think the charm of Atsushi as a MC lies elsewhere.

Yes he’s pretty, he’s kind, he has an e-boy haircut and I’d let him step on me with those worn-out dirty boots.

But he’s also a common person living among prodigies and demons.

(Really, I feel like standing up and appaluding Asagiri for choosing Atsushi as the mc and writing him the way he did because there’s nothing that could make my shitty life better than knowing that the protagonist of my favourite story in the world is someone I can relate so much to that I actually ended up learning more about myself through him.)

And yes, we’ve seen this happen many times in countless stories (yes yes haikyuu for example) where the plot worked as good as any other even though the MC took longer than the rest to get to where they were but managed to do so in the end (unlike the typical shonen mc that levels-up overnight) plus what people mostly criticize about Atsushi as a MC are his constant war flashbacks and how much he self-doubts himself.

So I came to the conclusion that it's not really Atsushi and his journey as a MC but his unresolved trauma what seems to annoy the audience instead.

And that’s how I came up with a fiction-breaking answer to your problems; If you want Atsushi to stop suffering over and over again for the same things, he has to leave the ADA and get some real therapy.

(Don’t misunderstand me, even if I accept him and love him as he’s now, I’d still love it if this were the real final for him bc it hurts me to see him suffer all the time.)

Think about it, Atsushi is just a poor boy, abandoned by hell itself and thrown into the street in the worst conditions a human being could be just to end up running into a maniac manipulator with a good heart that offers him a roof over his head on the condition he accepts a job that Atsushi himself says doesn’t want and is too afraid to be a part of and that he tried to leave once but failed to do so and then felt too guilty to try again because he eats guilt and remorse with milk for breakfast so now he has no choice but risk his life, face his archenemy physical pain to beat his enemies and constantly fear that he might not be doing what’s right or being good enough while having a huge responsibility on his bare shoulders.

As it stands, his situation can only be explained by that famous saying “it’s not that you don’t want to grow/heal, it’s that the environment is not apt for you to do it”. Yeah, no wonder he hasn’t made any progress overnight and feels so hopeless at times.

I love everyone in the ADA (not you Dazai) and their found family made out of scraps and angsty love is all I ever whish for, but just because he’s finally found people to rely on that care about him doesn’t mean it’s enough to heal so much damage (suprise suprise your family and love won’t always be enough to heal trauma). Atsushi won’t overcome his fears by facing them head-on nor will he become more independent by fighting on his own (actually we all know he hates fighting alone and that’s because he’s not in a place where he can trust in himself yet) instead, it’s very likely he’ll end up pushing himself to the limit to get “stronger” faster and end up loosing sight of himself.

And here's where Akutagawa enters.

The reason why I also mention him is because Akutagawa for me is the perfect example of why Atsushi has to stop now before it’s too late. 

Akutagawa has been past the point of no return for a long time now, he’s fought so hard to get "better" faster for the sake of being recognised by Dazai that he stopped recognising what’s real and what’s not. Akutagawa is already strong enough and has everything he needs but can’t recognise it because he works in a place where the more and faster you kill the better you are, so even though he’s the most feared member of the PM he doesn’t believe it because he hasn’t heard Dazai saying it.

To me it makes perfect sense that Dazai insists so much on making them face each other, I mean, Atsushi has everything Akutagawa wants and Akutagawa has everything Atsushi wants and as long each they stay blinded by their own unrealistic expectations they’ll keep risking their lives for something they will never accomplish under those circumstances, it turns into a vicious cycle where Dazai seems to be the only one benefiting from this since he now has two UltraRare awakened subordinates to fight for the sake of his book or whatever he wants. (but don’t let me get too excited about this topic ‘cause I could talk about Dazai for 3 days)

Yes I know I know, it was a very good thing that Asagiri decided to break that toxic vicious cycle and made one of them think for both to finally make Atsushi challenge Akutagawa to stop killing for six months as a condition to fight with him (that's called GROWTH, breaking out of the cage, abandoning the nest, etc).

But unlike Atsushi, Akutagawa doesn’t have many people to rely on when the time all of his enemies show up -after mori has beaten the fuck out of him for not showing results and lowers his rank to the same Oda had- to make him pay (let’s be honest the mafia couldn’t care less about the errand boy).

Basically, Aku has to leave the Port Mafia in order to stay safe, gain perspective and find a reason to live of his own rather than sit and wait for dazai to approve of his every move (the same goes for Sushi, he has to stop throwing himself off of high buildings to save people and stopping bullets with his mouth to be validated by his peers). 

But yeah, Akutagawa is probably not going to leave the PM and Atsushi is probably not going to leave the ADA but as someone who really wants to see them doing some real growth and barely stands this “just forget your trauma and fight” thing that’s going on I had to say it.

I mean, look at Dazai, it was no untill Oda told him he clearly wasn’t going to find a purpose to live that he decided that mayyyyybe the PM was not a good place to try spiritual healing.

What’s more, I’d say almost every single character in BSD is too fucked up to be able to heal in the kind of environmet they work at and that they must have let the pain sink or whatever bc they jsut don’t want to change their lives but idk man that’s fine if it makes them happy. 

:)

[compo67]

it's been a minute. so let's dive in. there's mozart playing in the background and i'm winding down to go to sleep.

CN mental health

today was an interesting mix of emotions.

i got 7.5 hours of decent sleep. that was so much needed.

last week i had a hypomanic episode and was awake for 36 hours. so i've been catching up on a lot of sleep since then (but can't seem to sleep longer than 7 hours at a time??)

some super emotional, painful stuff happened mid-week and i've been recovering/processing/healing ever since, which 110% affects my mental health

today wasn't too bad, until the evening. depressive spirals and paranoid ideations get so intense after dark. fortunately, friends talked me down and kept me grounded. i also discovered that i can work through paranoia by moving around a bit.

so i baked cookies

i only had milk chocolate chips, instead of semi-sweet, but they otherwise came out great

the stars lost to the blues in a game with TERRIBLE officiating

like, we had the game 1-0 until the last 3 minutes

DAMN YOU, BINNINGTON

ahem

i spent most of my day watching movies with my mom and knitting, two things i identified in IOP as being helpful as stabilizing--being around people and working on something constructive

Z's scarf is coming along, i should have it ready by the end of the week

my friend K gave me her fic to read and i gave her MPM to read

i suggested and watched The Professor and the Madman

i really enjoyed it (most of it)

but then it was super triggering and i couldn't figure out why until way after we finished watching it

like oh yeah... it's not fun to watch someone go through paranoid episodes on screen

still, i really liked the movie. it had so many great actors

i have an ENT appointment tomorrow (the doctor kind, not the tree kind)

i did not scan or update stuff today for disability stuff and i 10/10 do not feel bad about it

my friends are awesome and i am so fortunate to have them

i need a haircut this week--must be shorn

i am tired and will allow myself to feel tired, instead of pushing through

more work can be done tomorrow. i would like to answer AO3 comments and write either MPM or LTF

i would also like to read tomorrow, and eat a cookie

oh crap i still need to do my ozempic shot

let's have a good start to the week. the weekend was tough, but i have hopes for tomorrow. <3