#was it casual when you said you wanted to marry me

[rufflebuttercup]

where we left off | will lamontagne [part one]

summary: after a messy divorce, will comes back to new orleans and comes straight to you - because there's nobody else he'd rather go to when his life is falling apart.

a/n: will come back the wife (me) and kids miss you :')

enjoy the fic, and have a fantastic day! <3 requests are open!

note(s): gn!reader & no pronouns used, little terms of endearment (sugar, darlin', etc.), reader and will obviously have accents but i'm not the best at writing them so you'll have to imagine, reader really doesn't like jj (i'm sorry)

word count: 1,773

You and Will been partners for years. You’d been best friends for years. You knew each other better than anyone else did.

At least, that was until JJ came along.

The BAU had been assisting with a case in New Orleans, and it had become very obvious very quickly that JJ and Will had become rather smitten with each other. You’d found them having a drink together in the bar during the case, and that look in Will’s eyes was one that you’d had in yours for years.

And you, with your secret little crush, were devastated. 

After Will left the department and moved to Virginia to marry JJ, you lost contact. Sure, there was the occasional message sent between the two of you, but it had been so long since you’d seen him. Perhaps it was for the best, though. It hurt far too much knowing that the man you loved unconditionally was married to another woman.

Quite honestly, you never thought you’d see him again, so it was a complete shock when he appeared at the New Orleans Police Department one random Tuesday morning. And, judging from the stuffy nose, red-rimmed eyes, and downright sour expression on his face, he wasn’t doing too good.

“Will?!”

Seeing him standing at the door to your office almost felt like some sort of fever dream. 

It had been seven years since he’d moved to Virginia to live with JJ. You couldn’t think about that thought for too long, though. It hurt a little too much. 

You got up from your desk, and after throwing all professionalism out of the window, you practically threw yourself at Will with a squeal of pure excitement, “You’re back! Oh my God, you’re actually back!”

There was a small oof sound as you threw yourself at Will, and then his surprised expression was quickly replaced by that familiar smile that you’d grown so attached to. The one that he’d only give when he was truly happy, “Well, I’ll be damned,” he chuckled, picking you up with ease and spinning you around in a small circle before setting you back down on your feet, “Damn, I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” your response was immediate. Seven long years with barely any contact between the two of you. It wasn’t hard to admit that you’d missed him more than anything in the entire world, “It’s so good to see you. I didn’t think you’d ever come back to New Orleans.” 

At that, Will’s smile dimmed slightly, and you could’ve sworn that you saw a flash of something akin to guilt in his eyes. Out of habit, one that you’d picked up years ago, you quickly glanced down at his left hand.

His wedding ring was gone. 

There was a heavy silence before he answered, and when he did, his voice was quiet, “Things change, sugar.” 

Sugar. You loved that nickname. He’d called you it once when you’d both been a little bit too inebriated at a Christmas party a couple of years ago when you were relatively new to the NOPD. Since then, it had stuck around, and it made your heart do strange little flips inside your chest whenever he said it so casually. 

“Yeah,” you tore your eyes up from his wedding ring-less finger to meet his eyes. It was only then that you could see the lingering hints of sadness hidden in them, with the tiniest hints of resignation and anger, too, “Things change.”

You’d never wanted to pry into someone’s personal life so badly in your entire life. But, out of respect for him, you didn’t. At least, not in a way that was as forward as you would’ve liked, “How are you doing? Cause, I’ll be honest, you look like shit.”

Will let out a low chuckle at that, and you could’ve sworn that the corners of his lips turned up a little crooked grin that you knew and loved, “You’re the only one who can say I look like shit and get away with it,” that grin on his lips faded slightly, and he ran a hand through his hair as his expression became more somber, “Not exactly been the best few days, sugar.”

You hummed in response to that, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet slightly as you pursed your lips in thought. Clearly, you weren’t going to get any more out of him, “Well, that’s no good,” and then, a hint of a smile tugged at your lips, “C’mon. You’re coming for a drink with me.”

That pulled an exasperated laugh from Will’s lips, “Of course, that’s your solution.”

“Oh, c’mon, Will. You know me. I’ll never pass up the opportunity for a good drink,” you gave him a gentle shove as you turned on your heel and headed back to your desk, “I’ll finish up, and we’ll go, hm?”

Will laughed at that. You hadn’t realized until that moment how much you’d missed his laugh, “Fine, I’m in,” he ran a hand through his unkept hair, and smiled at you, “You’re very convincing, sugar.”

You snorted at that, “It’s really not that hard to convince you of anything.”

ꨄ︎

“So, what,” you rested your chin in the palm of one hand, and you held your drink tightly with the other, “She loved him all along?!”

Will took a sip of his own drink, his eyes averting from yours as if he was ashamed. That broke your heart, “Pretty much.”

It really hadn’t taken much convincing to get Will to tell you about everything that had been going on in his life. As soon as you’d taken your usual seats at the bar, he’d practically started talking your ear off. You hadn’t even gotten a whiskey in him by that point. 

“Jesus,” you clicked your tongue against your teeth, “She’s been in love with Spencer this whole time?! I always knew she was a…” you were cut off when Will shot you a half amused/half exasperated glance, “Sorry. Just… God, I’m sorry, Will.”

Will chuckled at that, and the sadness behind it was brutal, “There ain’t much I can do about it now, is there?” he took another slow sip of his drink, and he sighed heavily, “Seven years straight down the drain.”

You hummed in response to that, fingertips tapping against your glass, “I don't get it. They've worked together for years. Why didn't she say anything before?”

Will scoffed at that, “There was this whole thing with an unsub, and she says he forced her to say it, but,” he shook his head, and it was only then that you noticed his hand clenched into a tight fist in his lap, “It's the principle. If she kept this from me, then what else did she keep from me? Are the kids even mine? I…”

“Woah. Hey. No,” you grabbed Will's hand, unfurling it so he wasn't digging his nails into his palm, though you tutted at the crescent shaped marks already left on his skin, “You'll spiral if you keep talking like that, Will. You can't afford to spiral.”

Will gave another one of those snorts, but it was a bit less bitter this time, “I'm already spirallin’, sugar,” he shifted his hand slightly so he was holding yours, “I thought we could make it work. We tried for months, but there was always this voice in the back of my head,” he took another sip of his drink, a much longer one this time, “She said she wasn't hidin’ anything else, but…”

“You don't have to explain yourself to me, Will,” despite how much you wanted to know the details, you could tell how much it hurt him to talk about it.

“No, I want to,” Will shot you a look, and he gave your hand the slightest squeeze, “You're the only one I feel like I can trust right now.”

Admittedly, that filled you with so much pride and warmth. He trusted you. You knew that he did, but hearing it made you feel even better, “Is that why you came back? Because of me?”

You hadn't meant to say that, but the words came out of your mouth before you could stop them, and you very quickly realized how desperate it sounded. 

Will scoffed out a laugh at that, but it was a much more cheerful one than you'd heard previously, “As good of a reason as any,” he let go of your hand to reach into his pocket, “Couldn't bring myself to get rid of the ring.”

You stared at the wedding ring as he placed it on the bar, and that was the first time that you actually felt emotional about the entire situation. All for Will's benefit, of course, “Oh, Will…”

He cleared his throat, and that was the first time you noticed that he was teary-eyed, “Like I said. There ain’t much I can do about it now.”

For a long moment, there was a stretch of silence. It wasn't uncomfortable, though. You and Will could happily coexist without words. But then, after finishing his drink, Will turned to face you properly, “I was wonderin’ if…” he almost looked embarrassed, “If you've still got that spare room in your apartment.”

You quirked an eyebrow at that, and the smallest of smirks tugged at the corner of your lips, “I might do.”

There was another pause. It was as if Will was waiting for you to finish his thought. When you didn't, he grumbled, but there was a hint of a smile on his face, “Don't make me sound desperate, sugar.

You laughed at that. You did want to tease him a little, if for no other reason than to make things feel a little more normal, but you couldn't take that look on his face, “Yeah, Will. You can stay with me.”

Will let out a small breath, seemingly out of relief, “Thanks,” he gave you a small smile, one that suited him much more than the sullen expression, “I owe you one.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” you gently shoved his shoulder as you downed the rest of your drink, “You say that every time.”

After seven years, a part of you thought that you'd gotten over your unrequited crush on Will, even though there was a part of you that knew you probably never would. Now, though, having Will back with you felt like some kind of dream. 

Selfishly, as you and Will left the bar and climbed into a cab, there was only one thought running through your mind: this was JJ's loss and your gain.

[harukaluvr]

was it casual