#was i normal when he called him pyro casually

[malevolentram]

Some associate sunflowers with love

Some associate yellow with being closeted

[fairykazu]

the battle for the bill with gaming masterlist ++ cw: friends to lovers, pining, first date

it was his first ever date with you, at a dim sum restaurant that recently opened in liyue harbor. he spent like weeks just planning one date just because he was nervous on how you would react or reject him. he had to ask other people for opinions or eavesdrop on your conversations with your friends on what kind of guy you like.

but instead of spiraling even further, thankfully, he let his friends sway him to believe that you like him or believe the fact you like him back in a form of manifestation.

maybe it worked because you agreed to the date with no questions asked. 

gaming was so chill about it and everything. he just casually mentioned that he finished his kung-fu practice and that he booked something, and it was an invitation only.

it was during the afternoon or rather, a couple hours until the reservation’s time was up. the day was windy but when he saw you, it gently danced around you and the leaves that were up in his face were just flying atop of your head, not even hitting you in the face. 

(and mind you, this is not overly exaggerated… the source? gaming.)

“so, how did you accidentally book for two?” you asked as you stared into his brown eyes, making him nervous by the second. 

“i was supposed to go with my uncle but since you're here with me, wanna come with?” gaming said with a wink. it was more like a nervous twitch than the flirty wink but hopefully you took it the other way. 

you looked at him as if you thought he was lying. he swore he could feel himself getting more dizzy as his palms got more clammy. are hands supposed to be this sweaty? maybe the archons shouldn’t have given him a pyro vision because clearly, he’s meant for the hydro one. “sure. when is it?” 

holy shit, he didn’t even think about it even working. he sputtered out, “it’s a date! i mean, date, six! i mean! ohmygod. new dim sum place at six, you're pretty. it’s a, uh, friend thing!” 

you laughed in response. maybe you were tricking him into a prank where you totally accept and ditch last minute. or even, you were laughing at him not with him and you are planning to talk behind his back or something. he knows you wouldn’t have done that but the idea of rejection is catching up to him. “see you on the date, gaming.” 

you walked off and the wind hit him in the face again. but it didn’t even bother him this time because oh my god, it worked. he meant, of course it worked! manifestation is real. “oh my god. thank you, morax, thank you all the archons for this luck. i thank you.” he got on his knees and started to cry. then he quickly got up because too many people were looking at him and he was getting a tad embarrassed at what he just did. 

and of course, he had a plan:

step one: act like a gentleman, and you will instantly be swooned by his charms.  (plan created by liyue squad . . . call 555-LUV-CUPIDS for advice on looove! ). 

he really tried but you managed to be one step ahead of him. he picked you up in a kar, a new invention from fontaine that just dropped in liyue. he quickly opened his door, sliding across the bonnet of the kar, an audible squeak was heard from the inside of the car. 

you watched him roll off the car, he brushed off the dust off his clothes just before he opened your door, his hair, once slicked back, was back to his normal fluffiness. “for you, my lady.” he said, in a formal tone. he tried to practice a fontainian accent but it did not go as well as he thought he did. xinyan pointed out he sounded more mondstadtian-ist-something than french. 

you laughed, it was elegant and pretty and he swore his knees turned into jelly, he stiffly got up, teeter tottering away from the car. “ahem, shall we?” he extended his hand to you and you accepted it. 

you were glowing. you looked stunning in your dress and maybe he says this a lot in his head. but if you were walking down the sidewalks, he would see you, get blinded by your beauty and crash his kar into a building. his cause of death? you but he’d be grateful because his last image before he died was seeing you. 

“gaming, you ready?” 

“born ready… i mean, of course, i am. c’mon lets go.” when he was about to open the door for you, you held it open, “shall we?” 

“haha, we shall.” 

the waiter welcomed ga-ming into the restaurant, escorting the both of you to your table. 

you leaned into him, it was so close! did he appreciate it? yes, he really did. he liked the smell of your perfume. it was very jasmine like, floral and pretty. can you even smell the word, “pretty”? yes and it was you. 

“gaming, i thought you said this was a new place and that you haven’t tried it yet?” you asked as he froze up. he had to be dragged by you to the table. 

(note to past gaming, from future gaming: he didn’t say all that. YOU WERE LYING!!!)

“uh, surprise?” 

he felt his time come, this is what he was made for. the gentleman, the best way to swoon someone by pulling their chair out for them. he was ready. he could feel the angelic spotlight shining on his shoulders as he reached for the chair. he remembered what he was supposed to say, “for you?” or “cmon sit down.” or… something like that. 

shit, did he forget his training? 

but you beat him to it, you pulled out a chair for him, tilting your head to him. instead of protesting, he sat down immediately. he didn’t put up a fight at all.

he cringed.

 it was pitiful! he was like a dog! 

he was so going to get you back for this. 

totally. 

(...not!)

step two: flirting !!! 

gaming blinked at his friends who somehow pulled a blackboard from the closet. “what do you mean by, “flirt” with them?” he asked as xiangling pointed with a ruler, 

“well, you know, just flirt with your natural charm.” the swordsman bursted out laughing, wiping a tear off his face. eyes still watery, xingqiu quipped back, 

“if he had natural charm, you’d think he’d be with them by now.” 

gaming scrunched up his face, burying his face into the pillows. muffled, “i do! i mean, i am going to charm them!” 

xinyan sat next to him, he scooted more into the pillow. if he tried to scoot more, he’d roll into the cushion. “gaming, just serenade them.” she made a strumming motion as he sighed, “i don’t think i have that skill set.” 

xiangling added, “don’t be a buzzkill, i see how they look at you, i think you’re fine.” 

“if anything, just manifest it.” 

gaming threw the pillow from his face, hitting xingqiu in the process, ignoring the blue haired guy storming to him with two pillows in both hands. “you’re right! i’ll manifest it.” 

he tried his best to remember his lessons of how to know to flirt or whatever but he forgot already. he stammered, “so the weather am i right?” he wanted to kill himself. if he was able to clone himself, he’d kill the other in a heartbeat. he laughed nervously as you smiled,

“pretty cool. gaming, do you have any recommendations from this place? or does xiangling know you’re betraying her by going to this place?” you asked. it’s true, when xiangling was planning this date with the crew, she mourned the location of the date not being at wanmin restaurant. 

“i like the xiao long bao with the pork but we can switch out the meat if you like or really, we could go the vegetable ones. yes, xiangling knows and she thinks i'm a traitor.” gaming said with a dejected sigh, making you giggle. 

yes! side quest accomplished. 

“that’s disappointing, gaming, why didn’t we go to wanmin restaurant?” you asked despite knowing the full reason why. everytime you encountered anyone from the liyue squad, there was always a kamera flash in the corner and somehow it’s always xingqiu. gaming nervously laughed, pulling his collar from his neck, 

“well, you know how they are, i think, they’d fangirl or something.” 

you laughed again and everyday he thanks the archons to let him live in this generation because then he could see you everyday. “like that group?” 

gaming’s face dropped as you laughed a little harder, “sorry, sorry, i was just messing with you.” 

the brunette laughed it off too despite his whole demeanor tensed up in fear, “gee, if you’re going to do that, give me a warning ahead of time.” he quickly grabbed the glass of water, sipping on the straw. 

you tilted your head, “it wouldn’t be just as fun then, i like how cute your expressions are.” he started to choke midway drinking his water, you quickly rose out of your seat and patted him on the back. 

he swallowed, “thank you?” he hoped his blush wasn’t noticeable. unfortunately it was, his blush spread to the tips of his ears. 

“of course!” 

gaming devised a new plan, he called it, screw the hundred step plan by the cupids. he will just go with the flow! well, actually, he’d go for step number ten: pay for the meal. after you two finished dinner, you were getting your wallet from your bag but gaming stopped you, “allow me.” he fished out his lion shaped pouch from his pockets. 

“i’ll pay for the bill, gaming, it’s fine.” you insisted as he declined your offer. grabbing your bag and slinged around his body. “name, i took you out, it’s my treat. you can pay me back next time.” 

“sorry but our schedules don’t always line up perfectly like this, gaming. you know this so you should just let me pay for our meals. it’s not much.” 

“you shouldn’t go out of your way to pay for the meal! and look,” he gestured to your bag, wallet still in it. “you don’t have mora on you, so i’ll go pay.” he raised his hand up, getting the bill. 

“i have a card.” 

“name, really, i can pay. you can pay me next time, okay?” he tried to bargain with you but you kept going. luckily, he built over defense about paying the bill for years. “don’t play that game with me, gaming. it’s okay, i can pay.” 

“oh my god, name, is that international pop idol, robin?” gaming shouted as you whipped your head around. “where!”

he quickly sneaked out of the table, tip toeing to the front. despite being out gentleman’d by his date, you have won the battle but he will win the war. until he saw a familiar figure in front of him, paying for the meal already, he dropped to his knees. 

internally screaming no in his heart, a mighty soldier has fallen and it was him. the one who betrayed his love and out-gentleman's him, was you. he didn’t even know how you did it. are you secretly related to sonic the hedgehog? 

he wouldn’t mind actually… that’s besides the point. how did you even… ? (he was actually tiptoeing and you just sped past him).

 “gaming, c’mon, get up.” you said, lending a hand. nevermind, all is forgiven, he is holding your hand right now. thank you, gods, i have lived. one day i will live again when i meet them in every universe and slash or life. “i paid already.” 

“how?” 

“magicians don’t reveal their secrets.” you replied with a smile. just before gaming was going ask to elaborate, you quickly kissed his lips.

he melted into it, only standing still and shaking as he held up a thumbs up. "okay!"

[multiheadcanons]

I SIMPLY AM NOT DONE WITH THEM! THE BLU TEAM AND LOVE.

scout: ultra mega cringelord loser. he is literally bragging about you to anyone who will listen. teammates while they’re taking enemy fire, the enemy team while he is actively shooting them, pauling when she calls for an update on a solo mission; hell, he’ll call hale’s secretary and gab all day if he can. everyone is wondering where he is finding the time between jerking his own ego off and dying on the field. there comes a point they genuinely just don’t think you exist. there is no way this dweeb had enough social wits for anyone to be willing to tolerate him for an extended period of time. objectively the safest merc to be in a relationship with, because he has convinced everyone by being so extremely overbearing, and oversharing literally every detail of your life to them, that if they wanted to they could verify your existence in seconds. but they just don’t believe him. they’re not even willing to give him the respect to see if he’s telling the truth. loves going on dates! thoroughly enjoys a roller rink date, a drive in theatre date, a walk in the park, he’ll do any and everything with you! and then turn around and tell the team exactly what you did, exactly what you said, and your exact stance on every single one of them. they are going to implode if they ever find out you’re real.

soldier: jane doe is honestly… such a cool guy when he’s in love and loved by others. casual is finally a mode he can enter. it’s like a secret unlockable where he takes off his helmet and goes from soldier to jane doe. he’s quite funny! shockingly, a solid contender for the most Normal partner of the bunch. you get a date and he gets handsome for you twice a month or so, small gifts, usually bullet, battle, or america themed. likes bringing you the enemy scout’s dog tags. it’s more like his own little counter for how often he can get that scrawny twat every time he adds to it. always, always gets you flowers. he doesn’t arrange them, but he can get his spy to with a nice enough tone, and maybe some money. likes to take you to the lake. he’s not particularly needy as long as you seem satisfied. every once in a while he might ask you to join him on an odds and ends mission, but you have to stay in the car. he doesn’t know what he’d do to himself if something happened to you. but he likes to have you around! it’s almost like a test. the job is a big part of his life, so he needs someone who can handle it.

pyro: every day that pyro can wake up and look themselves in the mirror and say they are loved and then someone can immediately back that up with “that’s true, because i love you” is a day pyro will shed many, many tears. pyro did not ever think there could possibly be a day they could look at the mirror and say they are loved and actually mean it. actually be telling the truth. they were enough to be loved. they are enough to be loved. by someone other than themselves. they hug you tightly. they never leave your side. they genuinely couldn’t imagine it. they would cut their own arms off before they refused to hold you. they would cut their own legs off before it meant they couldn’t come to you when you call for them. and they are just so thankful. thankful for the opportunity, thankful for your company, thankful to be alive and breathing air in the same general location as you. every step was worth it. every ache was worth it. every bitter day and lonely night was worth these precious moments.

demo: he’s so certain this is closest he will ever get to feeling complete. he doesn’t feel an urge to drink as much, and for a while he is… a less than stellar man. and he will resent himself for the fact he didn’t do this before he met you until he is dead and buried in the ground. he may disappear for a while on a path to… less frequent states of drunk. and when he gets where he wants to be for you, he comes back the same, yet different. dedicated, and domesticated. still humorous, still intense, still wildly entertaining to engage in a lengthy conversation with and still a terrible person to involve in an already bad plan. but he has long term plans for what feels like the first time… ever. he feels like he’s got a reason to be something greater than great. instead of feeling like he’s in a rat race. there’s a point to the money. there’s a point to the fight. and the most important part, there’s a reason to stop this war.

heavy: he is in an almost constant panic. you might as well not exist to him in public. and it does you best to do him the same. the less you interact where people can see, the better it is, because when you’re alone… he’s sickeningly sweet. he won’t leave you be. he will eat what you leave, he will watch what you watch, do what you want to do, tend to you, care for you, proclaim his unfettered devotion… inside the house. and ignore you in public. there is a gnawing fear mikhail has, that he can’t place the origin of, that at any moment he will lose everything he’s ever cared for. and he’s okay if all he loses is guns, and objectives, and money, and himself. regularly. but the idea of losing others can send him into a spiral. and he gets so mad because it only takes a second. a moment of weakness, one instance of him dropping the ball and he will turn around and everything he cares for is gone. he is cruelly reminded on a daily basis. it costs him his teammates’ lives. and he chooses to not care about them, because otherwise he would quit this job. he understands the wall he is to the people who dare risk relying on him. he cannot handle any more responsibility than he has already taken. but for the right person… he just wouldn’t be able to help himself. the social control he exercises becomes a fountain to you. take from it when you need. use who you must. he will be there to ensure your success.

engineer: are you ready to meet the man with the biggest dick energy. he just exudes cool calm collection. it is like every question he ever had is answered. he knows the world is good because you are in it. he knows he is good because he is loved. because you love him. and he knows he is good because he loves you, too. he is not a fool in love. he takes his responsibilities as your partner seriously. you will never want for anything. you will never need anything. and he just blossoms. confident, motivated, inspired, some could even call him cocky. but he’s not cocky. he’s just loved. and he’s a man in love. a provider and a friend. a shoulder to cry on. and much more vulnerable. actually willing to talk about why he has the views he does. conversations are much more common. and he likes to show you off. anything he can find to brag about you, he will. it really does annoy the rest of the team. they didn’t realize there was a time they would miss the silence the man provided. but confident dell takes that confidence everywhere. and that includes the battlefield. gets downright stupid out there sometimes. he feels like a teenager again.

medic: love hits the doctor like a goose hits an airplane engine: faster than he can mentally register. it is an epiphany in the middle of the night, it is consuming him, it is a bad idea, and it will kill him before he can let it go. he can’t let it go. he finds himself too… light. too “happy”. too considerate. none of these things ever come across to you. he really doesn’t seem to change unless you know him. his syntax changes. he picks positively coded synonyms when he would otherwise use a neutral or negative leaning term. he’s a little more open to taking a break, or setting things off. his face softens, he relaxes. he feels good, and it doesn’t take work to get there. he just feels… okay. and everything is okay. hesitantly touchy. he social distances himself away from you, and over the course of ten or so minutes eventually you’ll feel the shuffle of fabric as he has crept his way to your side. then you feel the weight of his head on you. he will not move from there. tight hand holder, chronic sleeper. don’t ask this man to watch a movie with you; that’s asking him to take a nap. face buried in your neck, or your chest, or your lap. when he’s bold, he’s a hard biter. he loves to make you screech. it’s funny to him when you try to push him off, but he’s quick to retreat. you’re just fascinating to him.

sniper: ohhhhohoho, he likes you! this is also when you realize snipes is… kind of a loser. he gets a little big for his britches. starts calling you his “main thing” when you’re his only thing past work. makes crude, awkward, and sometimes incredibly funny jokes. but usually you’re now getting what are his absolute worst jokes. he’s testing them. seeing which ones land. big, dopey smiles under the hat. plays unnecessarily cool in public. yeah, you’re his partner. his mate, even. get it? he’s nudging your shoulder as he says this, by the way. he cannot play cool long because he is an absolute nitwit. and he gets one look at you and he can’t help the grin spreading across his face. he’s almost waiting for the rug to be pulled from underneath him. he’s waiting for you to leave. he’s pretty confident you won’t though. he thoroughly stresses himself about your death, and when it will occur. it’s like a quarterly occurrence, on a bad day in battle, that he will come to you, and he’ll almost be mean. and if you call him out on it, eventually he will break down on you. tell you about what he does for a job. and he can’t stop thinking about it. if something happens to you, you won’t come back. he doesn’t even know how long he will keep coming back. there’s a real chance he just doesn’t, because he doesn’t know. is he even himself when he comes back? when he gets it all out, he feels a little better. he holds you tighter. he really doesn’t want to let you go.

spy: stupid, desperate, hopeless romantic. and a chronic homemaker. if a beautiful wealthy older person approached him and said he’d never have to work a day in his life and he’s at the top of the will nobody would ever see this man again. all he wants to do is cook, clean, and care for a kid or two. or four. or none! what matters is if you give this man the option he is more than happy to let you be the breadwinner. he will still dress to the nines. breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, bath drawn when you’re off work. you don’t even realize you have laundry half the time because spy gets it done. and when he deems his work done, he will join you shortly. you will never have to lift a finger to do anything more than get your ass up and go to work. the home will never be a responsibility you have to worry about. he is screaming to the night sky for someone to turn him into a trophy husband. he’ll feed the animals. walk the dog. clean the toilet with his personal toothbrush. please god someone come get him so he can quit this job.

[earthearthearththearth]

Third date head canons! Like when you know it’s ‘for sure’

When The Mercs Know It's For Sure(TF2)

Includes: The Mercs, Miss Pauling notes:Yes, squeet is a kurtis conner reference

🛠Engineer- Bringing out all those nicknames. Darling, sweetheart, love, honey. Yeah. He likes to be sure of his feelings before getting with someone and honey, he is SURE. I think that for a third date, like most of them it would be very casual. Sometimes he likes to sing some songs for the mercs, mostly just pyro, heavy, and demo because the rest ‘got better things to do’. He specifically tells you about it this time. Usually if you show up it’s because you over hear. He’d sing a few ditties, but since is he corny-comes from being a country guy, zing, he sings a song you can’t quite ping as a love song. If you do manage to pick up on that, who knows if it’s to you. But you know for sure when he ends up asking you to be official a little while later when it’s just you two

🔥Pyro-I don’t imagine Pyro to take you out on “real” dates. He asks you to come along with him on missions and just anything he decides to do. Or he asks(or doesn’t) to follow you around. So the ‘third date’ is just normal to you. He looks at you a lot. Just sits and stares. At first it scares you a little. Just big..black..voids..staring…into..your…soul. You ask him what the deal is sometimes and he just laughs or shakes his head like you wouldn’t get it. You like Pyro, but these signs you’re getting could literally mean anything. So you ask the one person who can understand him, Engie, who says Pyro’s just head over heels for you. You ask Pyro if this is true, who is a bit flustered that you told someone about it, even if Engie already knew. I think Pyro signs sometimes, so you two have a little conversationa and whabam. Yall get together

⚾Scout-So he’s like…quieter and somehow more talkative? A lot of “Uh Yeah, that’s stupid”s. You tell him you’re listening, but it’s a lost cause. When he’s not packing his little knapsack and walking away sadly, he calls you “toots”. Lots of that. Still lots of flexing both his skills at picking things up or his little noodly arms. The date isn’t a prom this time, but very reminiscent of Spy’s teachings since there aren’t any giant bread monsters to save you from. Unless…no. Too risky. The date is literally just a set up to ask you out. 

“Sure are a lot of stars out tonight.”

“Kinda cloudy..”

“Nah, look, there’s one!”

“Scout, that’s a plane.”

“Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky-”

Turns out the plane is an enemy plane about to bomb the base. You both die immediantly.

Kidding, he just is kinda like “So…I’m kinda into you?” So of course you tell him you know, and end up asking him out instead. 

🦅Soldier- A date for him is breaking the necks of anyone who dare disrespect america. Kilometer? He only knows squeet. But if you don’t feel like breaking the neck of your local Australian, then there’s other fun activities to do. Like fighting bears or getting naked and covering yourself with honey. Or perhaps you want to go break open a beehive to get said honey. No? Jesus, lot of fun you are. The date is just a plan then. Get out the blueprint, plan for the next mission, which will probably be one of the previously mentioned activities. Since you’re helping the planning stage, it’ll probably be easier to convince him to let you stay out of all that. I don’t know how he’d ask you out. He’d probably just announce that he has an s/o now and you’re like “this is news”. But since you’re here, you’re probably cool with it.

🗡Spy-Yes his dates are elaborate and fun and fancy, however him asking you to be official is not as much. When he realizes he knows that you and him are For Sure, he is flustered by you. Spy may be suave and French, but he is very easily flustered if you can outdo him with words, and do not let him forget it. Not that you could. The third date is set up by him. He makes a little spot in his smoking room for you two and cooks up something you probably can’t pronounce. You find the intimacy a little strange, and before now you couldn’t tell if he actually liked you or was just playing around. But now, with this whole set-up made by him, you knew. He gives you a little necklace, something simple but clearly expensive. With that, he finally pops the not-marriage question, but gosh does it feel like it.

💉Medic-So he gives you the Blu medic’s heart. It’s in a nice little box, and the next time you visit his office he hands it to you. This is because it’s the closest he can get to his own heart. He tried. Unfortunately during this he almost died, so the Blu heart is the closest you get. His plan was to have you guys dig it out together, but he is very particular. He can’t have his love get in the way of science. Hopefully you appreciate it because you are very special to him! Maybe he’ll let you dissect it for fun and definitely because he doesn’t have some strange feelings about seeing you covered in blood commiting atrocious acts.

💣Demoman-So the first few dates were not getting shitfaced, but now that it’s the third, he’s gonna take you to where he spends a fair majority of his time. Having a teleporter makes traveling real easy, but he figures it’s a bit more romantic to drive. So he takes you with him to drive to a little hole-in-the-wall bar, the only one around. It starts out rather calm, but eventually he gets shitfaced and real clingy. You drink some, but yall need a designated driver that can at least see straight. You guys probably fall asleep in the car in the parking lot, but you know. Sometimes it’s like that. When you guys finally wake up and discuss what you can remember, he says he loves you. Aw.

🦘Sniper-Everyone on this list is a little weirdo and he is no exception. The date isn’t a date. He’s not a date guy. Maybe he picks you up a flower or rock he sees poking out of the desert, but that’s it. It’s the thought that counts. So the ‘third date’ is probably really early in the morning when you two cross paths. He says something like, “I was thinking you and I could get together for a while.” And you ask how long a while is, which results in “I dunno, I just like you”. Sweet. Yeah he’s uh. Not the most romantic guy around, but he tries.

🐻Heavy-A bit more romantic. The third date is just the two of you. He asks if you’d like to cook together which you accept, knowing he won’t blow the kitchen up. It’s calm and quiet. Until Pyro decides he wants to use the oven and yall gotta practically shoo him out with a broom. What’s cookin is good lookin’. It is looking good. You guys win! I think you’d end up asking Heavy out because he is very patient and doesn’t want to put pressure on you since it is a war that you two are in still. 

👓Miss Pauling-The same as the first. If she’s going out with you on one date, then she’s probably into you a lot. One day off a year, you know? So you two would just hang out. She’d be like really nervous for some reason-you had noticed it before but she seems kind of stand-offish. You ask her what’s up, prompting her to tell you a jumble of sort-of words that you finally make out to be a confession. 

[cheemscakecat]

Missing in Action 11

Chapter 11: Injury

There’s no time to explain what happened with Spy before the battle. But there’ll be time after… right?

TW: Gore, heavy angst

When the team got back to base, it was late morning. They were cuttin it real close with the scheduled battle that day, and Sniper hated it. Being punctual and efficient was something he strove for.

Everyone had slept on the way back, so at least none of them were tired. At 9:35 they dropped Zhanna and the wizards off at their secret place in the desert. But the battle they needed ta be on time for was at 10:30, so Sniper was stressed.

At the landing bay, everyone was rushin to get ready, ‘specially Mundy. They were gonna be fighting that one Blue team that looked and sounded almost exactly like them. That would be good for Soldier and Pyro, they didn’t get their promised fight against Merasmus.

When they got off the ship, Pauling announced their return over the intercom. She had to announce for so many teams across the States that she’d already been set up for a few hours. Scout came to the landing pad so fast, it almost felt like he teleported. That was a bit strange…

He was pale, real pale like something awful had happened. Sniper paused what he was doing to talk to him as he approached. “What’s wrong mate? Something ‘appen while we were out?”

“Sniper, Spy needs help. We don’t have much time, he wanted me to keep it secret..” Scout hissed. Mundy spotted Spy walking in, so he very obviously turned to look and said hello. “Hey Spy! How was it, ‘aving the base to yerself?” Scout took the hint and pretended they’d been talking about something light. He was a lot better at playing happy, kind of like his old man.

Spy stared at them with the most hollow look Mundy had ever seen. Whatever Scout was trying to say, it must have been dead serious, because people didn’t look like that for fun. Spy seemed to sense that his body language was off, so he muttered a reply.

“Nothing exploded”. Scout forced himself to shrug and grin all casual-like. “It was kinda ..boring… without Soldier or Demoman having a good time. Making a buncha racket. I missed it.” Scout sounded like he was trying to cover for Spy being off, which was apparently good enough proof that he wasn’t sharing the secret. Spy buggered off towards the corner.

Sniper looked over at Scout, and his normally smooth forehead was creased with concern. Whatever was goin on, he must have felt terrible for betraying Spy’s trust. But it was obvious that Spy needed intervention, whatever he was goin through. “I missed my van, truthfully.” Scout glanced at him. “How’s about you come over for a beer and a laugh, after the battle?”

Scout gave him a semi-relieved and very grateful nod. “Call it a date.” And after forcing himself to do finger guns at Sniper, he walked away.

People often stopped paying attention to Mundy when he was in the room, on account of him being so quiet and still. It wasn’t hard for him to approach Engineer and Heavy to get them in on coming to the van. He whispered a brief explanation then invited them for beer.

It would be suspicious if he asked everybody, so he picked the two who were most responsible with other people’s belongings and who needed a break the most. Spy was de-aged, but he was observant too. Though at the moment, he seemed lost in his thoughts.

Whatever was going on, they were gonna get to the bottom of it. After all, the battle would only last a few hours. It was urgent, but surely that wasn’t too long to act.

———————

Jeremy had hoped they’d be back sooner, but at least they were back. He’d have to wait to tell Sniper about Spy being ready to die to the mob, and it was eating at him. But if he just blurted the truth, Spy wouldn’t trust him anymore, and worse… he might make Scout sound like he was lying.

When he was growin up, Jeremy didn’t get any trust from teachers and people at stores. He was related to his brothers; who were always causing trouble, serious trouble. He was a clown and knew it, but not one who wanted to start a fight for no good reason. Or one who wanted to steal for fun.

But anytime he snitched on his brothers or classmates, the grown ups assumed he was in on it. Thought he was lying to save himself, on top of getting in trouble with other kids for snitching. And his brothers were real good at lying, especially Jonas. If he didn’t have proof, he was always the one blamed or accused.

He wasn’t considered a snitch by RED team, but this was a serious thing to say about Spy, and well… He knew they thought he was fragile.

They all looked at him like he was fragile, especially around new Spy. It was like they thought he was clinging to the newbie like he thought Spy’d disappear if he let go. Like a paranoid little kid.

It’d be easy to say he was overreacting to that nightmare or his old man disappearing. But he had proof, he had the envelope. If Spy was prepared to die, there’d have to be stuff about his will and his money; and even Jeremy knew that it was weird for a young guy to have all that written out.

He put the envelope in his locker in the respawn room/starting point for battle. He could grab it right away when they were done, and this way nothing would happen to it.

Scout felt guilty for revealin all this stuff, especially since Spy seemed to trust him so much. He’d never imagined that he’d be good friends with a Spy, and that might be ripped away after the rest of the team knew the truth. But… If he was right and it was the Mob, or someone equally bad, Spy’s life was on the line.

They had to know. They were older and smarter and more deadly than him. They would know how to help Spy in ways he couldn’t. And besides that, if the Mob felt comfortable putting hits out on mercs, it meant they didn’t respect Pauling, and that could put her and other people in danger too.

Jeremy hoped the battle would be over quick; he could tell Spy was expecting to die any minute. He’d do what he could.

———————

Antoine didn’t know where the old Spy kept his masks, otherwise he would have been wearing one these past few weeks. He’d been wearing that awful bandana over his face, and a pair of old sunglasses he found in the old Spy’s kitchen.

It didn’t matter anymore.

He knew Scout would try to rally the others, but it was too late. He was going to be killed before the day was over, and they found out the truth. Actually, not the truth. Scout didn’t know who was really after him, and that was hopefully enough to preserve the whole desert team’s lives.

If they found out it was that ***** the Administrator trying to kill him, she’d have them all taken out in a heartbeat. Antione knew that the hitmen had failed to kill him in the helicopter and allowed Scout to get too close to the truth last night. She’d want them dead already, and it would only get worse if they let him live long enough for the whole desert team to get suspicious.

Failing the Administrator over and over was a very dangerous thing; she was bloodthirsty. It was them or him, and he didn’t blame the hitmen for it. Even if they’d been in it for the money, the threat of suffering the same fate was something he didn’t wish on them.

So today, he didn’t bother to hide his face. The admin already had footage of him without the mask, there was no point. The desert team was rushing to get to battle on time, so they didn’t notice.

—————

As much as Antoine knew he was doomed, he knew acting strange would be dangerous for more people and that took precedence. He still stalked after BLU teammates, even though his heart wasn’t in it. He was also trying to keep some distance between himself and the enemy teammates, in case a sniper was the method of his permanent execution. They could get shot too.

He was sneaking around with his invisibility activated when he spotted the BLU Spy. He looked like the old RED Spy from the paintings, but wearing blue. It made Antoine just as uncomfortable.

Red Spy looked like father and Antoine didn’t like to think about it, so he covered the paintings with blankets and curtains. It made him think about how his hair would have greyed and the wrinkles would appear in the same places, had he not been on Admin’s hit list.

Father had a goatee and mustache, which Antoine vehemently refused to grow on his own face. He didn’t even want to look comparable with a different style of facial hair. This Spy had mustache stubble that was rather dark, but also seemed to abstain from facial hair.

In any case, attacking an older, more experienced Spy was dangerous. Antoine chose not to target them for a reason. He decided the best thing to do would be to stay still and wait for the enemy to leave.

BLU Spy was hanging around in the empty hall, glancing out the windows in case a wayward Soldier or Pyro launched themselves up. He opened his disguise kit and pulled out a new cigarette; his old one was nearly finished. Antoine had lost his disguise kit too, so being invisible or using the revolver was all he could do at the moment.

After the very last of the old cigarette was burnt away, BLU snuffed it out and lit the new one. Then he started walking down the hall towards Antoine. He wasn’t sure whether to sneak way or attack, and he wasn’t going to have much time to decide.

BLU Spy paused, as if he sensed eyes on him. He pulled out the revolver and began looking around, pushing boxes that were big enough for someone to hide under. Then he suddenly chucked a wooden one behind him, which hit Antoine and knocked the wind out of him.

He waited for the enemy to shoot him in the heads but that didn’t happen. “Antoine?” Spy’s blood went cold. He hadn’t told Admin his name, it was enclosed in the divorce papers, but no where else. She shouldn’t have known his name. This Spy shouldn’t have known his name.

But this must mean he had been sent by Admin. Maybe that was why he was hanging around the hall so long, he was just biding his time. BLU Spy suddenly pulled off his mask and sent Antoine into a cold sweat.

This Spy really was the spitting image of his father; down to the same eye shape and mouth and nose, even the same shade of grey sprinkled throughout his hair. It was uncanny, the resemblance.

It couldn’t be father; he was obsessed with his stupid restaurant and wouldn’t be caught dead working as a mercenary, even just to hunt him down. As if he even knew where Antoine had gone and what career he’d chosen.

That could only mean one of two things: Admin had hired a body double, or Admin had given a plastic surgeon a picture of Antoine’s father to make this man look identical. And both meant that she knew exactly who his family was, even all the way in France.

Panic swelled in Antoine’s chest and he violently slapped the Spy’s hand away as he bent down towards him. And then he ran.

She knows my name! She knows my family!

He’d been intending to take the death without trying to escape, but Admin knowing that much sent him into a horrified state. He galloped away like a frightened horse, not knowing where to go, bumping into things and panting.

A Blue Demoman rounded the corner with his axe raised.

—————————-

Scout didn’t tag along with Spy; he was looking for possible assassins instead. He knew this battlefield well, including most if not all of the best hiding spots and shortcuts. So he patrolled around, shooting BLU teammates if they were hanging around and darting into hiding places looking for strangers.

Suddenly Pauling made a very scary announcement over the loudspeaker. “GUYS! RED Spy is-Just hurry and get to RED’s respawn room, I’m unlocking it. We need the medics, ASAP!”

Jeremy tore across the pocked dirt, second only to the BLU Medic, who was roaring across the ground at speeds nobody expected from him. When they entered the doorway Jeremy froze, but the Medic got right to work. Even as others clamored to get in and moved him to the side, he was frozen. He couldn’t help it.

Spy was layin on the floor in agony, because there was a giant gash from his neck to his pants-line, and all his guts had spilled out. At first it looked like someone pulled them all out, but then Jeremy saw the trail of blood and gut slime leading from the respawn chamber. Spy had dragged himself out of the chamber, and his guts had tumbled out along the way.

Nobody had ever told Scout that guts can move on their own. He’d had a little bit of intestine or stomach poke out in battle before, but he’d always thought that it was his heart and breathing making them move. And when they fought Merasmus zombies, the guts were dead, so they didn’t move either.

The best way he could describe it was like… when you pick up a worm as a kid, and the worm tries to get away. It makes itself real skinny, and then real fat, and then keeps doin that until you freak out and let go, or it manages to slip through your fingers. But like, feet after feet of intestines doin that.

BLU Sniper threw up. Scout knew it had to be the BLU Sniper even though he couldn’t move; RED was good at hunting and told stories about gutting dinosaur birds.

People were freakin out and asking a buncha questions, but Scout couldn’t make it all out. He watched the Medics turn on their mediguns, but it didn’t heal Spy up like it was supposed to. He could tell their Medic was asking the BLU one, who was weirdly in the know about all of this.

BLU Scout was sent to go get a gurney from the RED MedBay, then BLU Medic said:

“This is a respawn failure. Mien Gott, we haven’t had one in decades. I’m certified to do surgery on your Spy, but it has to be my MedBay. The old Admin had a lot of rules set during the crisis, and they haven’t been revised.”

Respawn failure… the respawn machine could fail and kill you? Really kill you? The scary thing was, Spy didn’t look surprised at all. Jeremy found himself walking over to new Spy alongside some other RED teammates and the enemy Spy.

Even though it really had to hurt to talk, Spy looked at his BLU enemy and growled something in French. Whatever he said, it must have been bad, because BLU looked like he was gonna cry. Then he turned to Scout, which had to hurt a lot and spilled some more blood.

“You tell her not to kill my ex! You tell them she didn’t know!” He sounded angry and sad, like he wasn’t trying to be mean but he needed to command Jeremy. Who was he talking about? An ex from the mob, maybe?

The Medics came over and got Spy ready to go all the way across the battlefield to BLU MedBay. Both Heavies were tasked with pushing the gurney while the mediguns were on; they said the medigun rays were what was keeping Spy alive.

As they were pushing the gurney out the door, Spy practically barked

“You tell them she didn’t know!” And then he was gone. BLU Scout came over to them, looking sorry for everyone.

“Doc has to do surgery but.. he said there’s a classified video tape that we all need to watch. About Team Malum… If you guys need a minute…” He trailed off. “We won’t start it without everyone from RED.”

The BLU team left RED alone to think about what was happening. Engineer and Sniper looked at Scout. “You said something was up with Spy? What was it?” The rest of the team looked confused. Numbly, Jeremy walked over to his locker. “He said he was gonna die.. and he seemed sure. Hopeless about it.” He turned around, holding the envelope in shaking hands.

“I thought it had to be Mob ****. I never thought… I didn’t know we were out of time.” He looked at the envelope. Everyone crowded around, and both Pyro and Soldier were quiet. Pauling wouldn't fault them for opening it. She wasn’t Helen.

“He said this was for the Admin, so his ex would get his money… I’m not supposed to open it but..”

“Pauling’ll understand, lad. It might give us a clue.” So he opened it. “I’m really **** at reading but… I’ll try.”

If you’re reading this, it means you successfully killed me, Ms Administrator. Not that there was any doubt you would. Everyone paused. That’s why he was worried about the cameras, wasn’t it? And telling Scout the truth… He thought they’d all be killed, but why?

I just have one last thing to tell you, before my name is erased and everyone forgets I existed. You’re probably tempted to kill my ex wife, too. To silence one last loose end.

I have attached my divorce papers, which state the date we split. It was before my “transfer”. It was before the last two assassinations.

The note ended and there was a bunch of real divorce papers sandwiched between it and another note. Engineer asked for the divorce forms so he could look through and summarize. Scout let him, since he wouldn’t be able to read all that anyway. He’d read the other note instead.

My point in attaching this is providing proof that my ex is not a loose end. I know that taking my word for it is out of the question.

Ms Administrator, I would like to request that you spare the lives of Ms Merriam-

Jeremy stopped. “What’s wrong?” Sniper asked. “You went pale.” He looked again. “That’s my mom’s name.” Engineer looked up. “There’s a list of children on this form. Does it…”

Scout snatched the page out of Engineers hand and squinted at it. Arthur, age 7. Henry, age 6. Jonas and Frankie, age 5. Petey, age 4. Kevin and Danny, age 3… Jeremy, age 2.

[blzzrdstryr]

Moth into flame. Yandere!Kaeya x gn!reader

Wordcount: 4k

A.N: It’s very self-indulgent, but I had this idea for 2 weeks now and needed to get it out. I’ve never written fanfiction and I am not a native speaker, so bear with me.

CW: Violence, unhealthy relationship

For as long as you know Kaeya, he feels different from other people. Odd in the way that empty alleyways and dark rooms are odd, a sense of barely concealed danger lurking underneath the layers of charm and friendliness. You always felt his darker nature, but never questioned it before - you are an adventurer after all, the danger is your thrill.

He must have known that you aren’t particularly repulsed by this side of him, as his friendly facade morphed into something darker right in front of you for a couple of times. You doubt a liar and an actor as skilled as he is would make such amateurish mistakes.

No, he can’t be ignorant about how his more ominous part is what makes your veins sing from the strange mix of fascination and fear. That must be why he kept flashing his less amiable side, enticing you further in his grasp, and you gladly took step after step in the carefully crafted trap he prepared just for you.

How could you not? Kaeya is charming and dangerous, like wildfire  and you are nothing but a moth, too blinded by his light to stop and just think.

And now, seeing an irrefutable, but faux proof of the crimes you didn’t commit in his hands, you feel it - how searing his casual coldness can be. Right now, Kaeya Alberich is no human in your heart, he is a small piece of abyss that made its way out of Khaenri’ahn ruins to drag you down the cosmic darkness, where you possibly truly belong.

***

Kaeya both loves and hates your first meeting and he avoids reminiscing about it. It sounds strange, right?

Back then he was still a part of Ragnvindr household and Diluc treated him like a brother, and maybe that is a small part of a reason why he feels such aversion to recalling it - those memories are tinted both by fond nostalgia and bitter loss, enough to make him itch for a bottle in his hand.

Both Kaeya and you were green rookies - a knight fresh from training and a beginner adventurer, accidentally teaming up against a gang of treasure hoarders. It all ended up with both of you victorious, but injured. Kaeya helped you to walk back to Monstadt as one of the criminal's bolts wounded your leg, enough to make you wince from pain at every step.

In the middle of the trail he suddenly grew bored from your barely suppressed pained expressions and soft pants, no matter how cute they were to him, and decided to carry you, just like the groom would carry his  bride. He quipped and joked about it, as he made his way to the city's general direction, and you laughed and made some witty remarks in return.

At the moment he didn't think too much of it - you were another adventurer in his eyes back then, a cute, but insignificant passerby in his life and he was just playing a role of gallant knight in shiny armor. Give it a week or two and he would forget your face and your name.

But he didn't.

Just as you were approaching city gates, a miracle happened - red vision materialized right in your hands. You clutched it tightly to the chest, a bright smile appearing on your face. You turned your head to Kaeya, and he could have swore you were using your newly acquired Pyro on him.

How else could he feel so warm inside all of a sudden?

He couldn't help but recall your smile for weeks after that.

***

Your second meeting happened when you were returning to Mondstadt after your first long expedition. Shortly after the word of your Pyro vision reached Cyrus' ears, he was dead set on sending you to Dragonspine to help other adventurers. You were hesitant at first, but then your natural thirst for thrill combined with a hefty pay he promised won over you, and here you were - carrying several stacks of starsilver, absolutely exhausted and frozen to the very bones walking back to Mondstadt.

To say that you were unprepared would be an understatement of the year - even with pyro vision the cold seemed absolutely unbearable and to make matters worse you almost had a run in with a frostarm lawachurl. To avoid hopeless fight, you had to hide behind the tall snowdrift, almost submerging your body in it, as you both admired and dreaded the ice cladden giant.

Nonetheless, you acquired all of the starsilver the adventure guild needed, and now you trekked through the forest as the sun started to set.

Straining your eyes to see through the heavy rain and approaching darkness you saw it - a bright red smudge against the dark tree bark and unmistakable scent of blood. Such stark contrasts were enough to shake off the tiredness. You slowly made your way to the source of the stench, both fearing and anticipating what may reveal itself to your curious eyes.

There was a silhouette of an injured man that started to slowly morph into a vaguely familiar figure as you got closer. Seeing that there was no threat, you threw your ore to the ground and ran to the unconscious person. It was that knight who helped you to defeat treasure hoarders, Kaeya.

He looked horrible - his normally rich bronze skin now looked ashen and grey from the bloodloss, the face that radiated smugness seemed as if it already belonged on the corpse, the blue vest that he was wearing dyed almost completely in purple from the bloodloss, but the most horrible thing was a shallow but wide gash on his chest.

Not wasting any second, you pulled out your trusty dagger, and sliced the vest to inspect the wound. As you pulled obstructing cloth away you noticed another detail - small burns, surrounding the gash, as if someone slashed Kaeya with something hot enough to scorch, but not hot enough to close the wound and most unexpectedly, faintly glowing blue orb. A cryo vision.

You sat on your knees to put his vision in your pocket and clean his wounds. It still bled, as you frantically searched for a way to close it your eyes fell on the small burns around the wound and suddenly a crazy idea popped up in your head.

With shaking hands you used a piece of sliced vest to muffle him and prevent Kaeya from accidentally biting his tongue off, and then you took the dagger again heating it up. You heard about cauterization from older adventurers, but hoped that you wouldn’t resort to using it.

Kaeya’s pained groans were muffled by the makeshift gag, yet it wasn’t enough to wake him. After you made sure that his bleeding stopped, you removed your outerwear and wrapped Kaeya up. You cursed, as you hoisted a heavier body on your back, an exhaustion you have forgotten moments ago hitting you with a renewed strength.

The path to the Mondstadt with a new burden on your back now felt ten times longer. Even if you two were barely an acquaintance, a cold coil of fear for Kaeya's life still set in the pit of your stomach, and it seemed that no amount of fire would make you feel warm again.

***

Waking up in the infirmary was one of the biggest surprises in Kaeya’s life.

There were times when he was sure of his imminent death - an abandoned shivering child all alone in the forest, a stranger in the strange land, a prince of nothing with the weight of the whole dying kingdom left on his shoulders; a rainy night reeking of death and loss, grief and fury burning him just as much as incandescent claymore, rapidly growing pool of bright red blood, just as red as a…

Kaeya was okay with dying - it would be a nice ending to his story. The dead saviour of an already dead nation, an outlander casted out from the only semblance of home he had. He liked the irony.

He could have asked for help right after the duel, calling out that person’s name, he knew that that person wouldn’t leave him if he was dying, but the possibility of seeing hatred in those eyes was too much for him. The second a fiery blade cut through his flesh was when Kaeya decided to die.

And honestly, he couldn't continue to live once he confirmed what kind of a monster he is - the first thing he felt when he saw Crepus Rangvindr, a person who took him in, kept him fed, warm, safe and clothed all these years, a person who loved him more than his own father did, slowly disintegrating under the strain of delusion Kaeya felt no sadness. No, a relief, as if he was freed of a tiresome burden came instead.

Kaeya was disgusted and horrified for even experiencing such feelings in the first place, but he also couldn't do anything with it - for the last few years he was torn apart between Mondstadt and his homeland, and Crepus’ death should have solved his internal dilemma, driving the final nail in the coffin.

Sometimes he felt as if he was no person at all, just an abyssal creature that took on a human form and was allowed to live only to be unleashed on Teyvat. The time at Khaenri’ah was something that stuck with him for the rest of his life - the fear and resignation he experienced there heavily imprinted on his brain.

Every once in a while he had impulses to lie, to hurt and do as he pleases, for a long time he stopped these urges at the root, maintaining the illusion of normalcy he built for Ragnvindr household. He knew it was from Khaenri’ah, a cursed  nation of sinners with all of its glorious legacy lost to the sands of time. Immoral impulses were something that would have helped him to survive among the endless darkness that surrounded god-forsaken place.

“Ugh”, he tried to get up, to shake intrusive and self-deprecating thoughts away, but failed. Pain, like melted iron, slowly spread from his chest to the points of his fingers in a second. Even breathing was hard - his entire body ached and burned, a shaking hand slowly touched bandaged torso. Alberich winced as he remembered why exactly it was aching.

“Sir Kaeya, you are already awake! Please, don’t move.”, pretty but forgettable nun fussed over him, rechecking his bandages and then taking out a foul smelling medicine. She made Kaeya drink it all. He still cringing from the bitter taste, half sat on the bed, leaning on the headrest, tried to flash her his most charming smile and asked:

“Do you know how I got there?”, it seemed his charms did work on the girl, as she started to describe the previous night in great detail: what she was doing prior to his arrival, how dark the sky was, how worried she was when she saw his battered body, how exhausted the adventurer and guards that delivered him looked.

“Do you happen to know the adventurer’s name? I would like to say my thanks once I get better”

“Oh, it was [First], I think, but I am not sure.  I believe I saw a pyro vision” Kaeya slid in the lying position again, as he remembered you, his first and only crush. Half buried feelings ignited in his chest with a renewed vigor.

Seeing that Kaeya paid her no mind, the nun headed to the exit of the infirmary, but right before she left she turned to Kaeya again, saying that you will visit him tomorrow.

****

Just as you thought Kaeya was conscious today. After you managed to carry him back to Mondstadt, worried but distrustful guards at city gates took away your load and delivered him to the Church of Favonius. You insisted at coming with them, still anxious for Kaeya’s life. Nuns almost showed you out of the infirmary and you, defeated, had to go home.

The next day you spent looking for the abandoned starsilver, thoughts occupied both by Kaeya and the payment Cyrus promised. Fortunately, the stacks lied right where you discarded them and after a quick trip back to the adventurer's guild, you had nothing to do - weekly commissions done days prior, so you decided to spend some time inside the city for once.

As you navigated the city square you felt the tense mood that hung in the air, Mondstadt usually cheerful and carefree now seemed uncharacteristically gloomy. You later learned that the local wine tycoon, Crepus Ragnvindr, died in the accident and his son and young the youngest captain in history of Ordo Favonius, Diluc, left the city and abandoned the knights.

Despite spending almost all of your time outside the city gates, even you were aware of the city's happenings and certainly heard about two dashing young gentlemen. Kaeya was rumored to be a foreign orphan taken in by Crepus and Diluc as you remembered is a claymore swinging pyro user - a picture of Kaeya’s injuries came to mind. Scattered details started to slowly gather into a sound theory.

A fight after Crepus' death(was accident Kaeya’s fault?), that resulted in Diluc abandoning the knights(Are knights also at fault?).

You quickly brushed it off, as theorizing without the concrete evidence was one of the biggest mistakes one could make. So instead of building baseless speculations, you decided to visit one of the key people, Kaeya. Occupied by your thoughts and curiosity, the travel to the church seemed almost momentarily.

Stepping in the infirmary you were hit with a strong bitter scent of the medicine, but Kaeya sitting on the bed seemed fine, if not a bit tired. He was reading a book, but put it aside as he noticed you and gave you a warm smile.“I remember you, [First], you were the one who saved me I was told. Seems I should make it up to you”

“No need for it, you were dying”, you head to him, a hand searching for the vision in the travelling bag. His smile doesn’t drop, even when a somewhat awkward silence hangs around you. Finally, you exclaim: “I found a vision near you, and kept it so it doesn’t get lost or anything”.

“Oh, that’s a surprise, give it to me” the vision in his hands glows alive with a gentle blue light, a small ice shard forming between his fingers and you find yourself holding your breath. Kaeya looks less impressed than you, a strange emotion written on his face,as he looks from the blue orb, to the ice, to your amazed face.

“It may sound rude, but do you remember who injured you?” Kaeya doesn’t appear phased, slowly blinking, a confusion written on his face, as he looks up in contemplation. “Hm, no, can’t remember anything” You shift a little, disappointment not reaching your face. Was Kaeya lying or not?

“I hope I didn’t mess up your adventuring schedule” Kaeya murmured, leaning a little closer to you.

“No. I planned on spending a week inside the city. Why do you ask?”

“Well” he smirks, “maybe a brave and strong adventurer will lend a hand to poor injured me and”, you felt your face slowly heating up “escort me to Good Hunter, the food here is abysmal and maybe your company and decent meal will clear my head a little”

Only a day later you realized that it was your first date.

***

Kaeya likes challenges, and maybe that is a reason why he’s so drawn to you - you’re smart, just not people-smart, and you have enough intuition to guide you away from the schemes and plans he tries to pull off. Of course, he wouldn’t risk your life or general wellbeing - he likes your presence far too much to do that - but the possible less savory reactions he could gauge out of you were too alluring to miss out - frustration, fear, anger.

Alberich is frustrated - a hunger that was ignited by you grew greater and greater with each day - he wants to see so much of you, see you in pain, see you helpless, see you defeated. Would you cry, would you yell, would you curse at him?

He tried to resist it in the beginning - just as he did when he was still a part of Ragnvindr family - but he failed. Maybe, Diluc’s dismissal of him and abandonment was something that broke Kaeya in the way that Khaenri’ah couldn’t. That rainy day he learned one lesson - everyone leaves, and Kaeya didn’t doubt that you would too.

You are an adventurer after all, as free as a wind. It’s just pure luck that someone as curious and thrill-seeking as you hasn't moved to the other nations in search of excitement.

Kaeya feels threatened.

Over the years, you both fell in the comfortable, but vague place between friendship and something-more-than-friendship,a status quo of sorts. You were a loner at heart - fine with keeping almost everyone at arm’s length and Kaeya, to his disappointment, found that even his charms wouldn’t bend your will.

He could see how uncomfortable yet excited you got, when he showed his less considerate side - when he arrested and fought criminals, when he pulled off his complex plans, when he turned and twisted the words of others to make them scream and writhe and beg. Oh, of course you tried to hide it, your face becoming akin to a mask of stone, but there were other tells - the shine in your eyes, the body language and accelerated breath.

Kaeya also knew what an excitement glutton you are - there is a flame inside of you, needing to consume and devour new tastes, sights, adventures and mysteries. You are predictable in that way, he has a gut feeling that you are wary of him, but the promise of a new enigmatic crime that needs your assistance is almost always enough to lure you back into his arms.

And now he has a new problem at hands - his failed plan. Months of subtle work and manipulation led and were supposed to build up your feelings for this. A public love confession, both sudden and extravagant. Kaeya thought that someone as awkward as you, would cave in under the pressure he would put you through by making his love public.

However you didn’t, even if some, if not most of the onlookers gasped in the shocked disappointment - Kaeya was sure that you two looked like a would-be-couple to the observer’s eye. You stuttered some apologies, hid your face and almost ran away from him.

It grates on Kaeya’s nerves in a special way, annoyance slowly building up. Fortunately, he has a strategy to relieve it, by methodically destroying it’s source.

***

“Thank you, let’s do the next commissions together” you wave goodbye to the fellow adventurer, missing an indiscernible look cavalry captain gives both of you.

Only when the said adventurer leaves, does Kaeya step out of the shadow, his single eyes wholly focused on you. After the confession you started to purposefully avoid him - something that Kaeya thought was possible, but didn’t entertain it enough.

Seeing him is what almost sends you to retreat - relationships are messy, especially after failed public confessions, there’s too much burden now and you never felt the desire to work on any of them leaving everything to take its course. Instead, you stand there, enduring his cold gaze and warm smile, hit by a sudden realization of how childish your thoughts are.

Kaeya must have taken your passiveness as an invitation, as his hand snakes around your shoulder, throwing you off your internal monologue. “[First], I have an interesting case again” he leans in, his breath tickling your neck, “and I need an assistant again, the pay will be like last time”.

In spite of your current discomfort you almost space out, body habitually relaxing near him. “What the thing about?” the cases that Kaeya involves you in are always bizarre and something never seen before, a mystery awaiting to be solved.

He begins describing it to you - a strange string of deaths of young adventurers, all of whom were visionless and most curiously they all died off duty. Young men and women did their commissions, plunged in the domains and fought with monsters, but died inside the city walls, inside their houses and beds, surrounded by safety and comfort.

Kaeya shares that his informant found a hearsay that there were some interesting potions on the black market and he needs you to infiltrate as a visionless adventurer and buy potions, as much as possible.

This evening you leave the city, your heart full of trust for Kaeya, even if your relationship did take a colder turn.

***

You, as Kaeya predicted, still believed him.  Alberich almost felt bad for exploiting and twisting your trust in him , but as he supposed there was nothing more he could do with himself. Your visage filled his head day and nights, sometimes he even daydreamed about the life he would have with you. It would be delightful - to have you underneath his thumb, ready for any whim and perversion he could come up with.

He came to the Angel’s share and ordered a glass of wine, ignoring judgemental stare Diluc pointed at him. He could almost hear Ragnvindr saying “already” and calling Knights inefficient and lazy drunkards. Kaeya happily took a sip of the liquid - all of his plans always carried an element of risk, so the cavalry captain felt a bit agitated. What if you don’t touch the potions? What if the gang will escape with them?

Nevertheless, if you did touch it or not wouldn’t really matter, as catching you red-handed was more important. He needed to make you look guilty - you worked with him unofficially, which meant that no one knew about it, not even Vile. Sure no one would take your word over his, even if you left significant evidence of your innocence, after all a lot of knights are weak to bribes.

He almost hummed, as he imagined things he would do to you once you were imprisoned and completely in his power. He, of course, would save you from the dank dark cell, finding an “overlooked” detail, but not before breaking and molding you a little.

Finishing his wine, he went to the knight’s headquarters, to request the assistance of other knights in the arrest of a dangerous criminal, a spring evident in his step.

***

It was treasure hoarders again, you silently cursed, while dodging one of the attacks. You weren’t the best actor and within the minutes they exposed you. Fighting among the fragile vials wasn’t the best idea, so you moved the fight to the outside. Once they all run after you, you jump over them, raining a constant stream of fire over them. Some of them started to scream, a pure agony written on their face.

Some of the hoarders used a hidden gas bomb, submerging the whole place in smoke and using it to run away. You didn’t run after them, and headed inside instead. There was a significant change: some of the vials that contained transparent liquid now were bright red. You took one of them in and gasped - it felt so warm in your hands - and then you recognized your own elemental energy.

Out of curiosity you reached for the “uncontaminated” one, the colorless liquid rapidly bloomed with scarlet red, as your vision came to life without your command. Was it that deadly potion that Kaeya talked about? You felt how it sucked some of the pyro energy from you, then it must transmit collected energy to its consumer. No wonder all of those adventurers died - without a vision their bodies weren’t used to receiving and processing such amounts of elemental energy.

You tried to take the vials with the “clear” potion, but no matter what you did all of them got dyed in red the second you stood a little closer. Sighing in defeat you collected ones contaminated with your energy and prepared to head back to Mondstadt. You needed to warn Kaeya to take some regular knights with him if Albedo needed samples for analysis.

Suddenly there was a sound of several people running up to you, a Favonius armor coming into the sight. You almost smiled as you saw Kaeya, happy that he decided to help you, until you heard it: “Arrest them!”

[unstrvnge]

boun noppanut. twenty-three. male. he/him. pansexual aromantic & cancer. ☾ *ﾟ is that The Magnificent Phanurat behind the mask? whenever i see the pyro performer & arsonist for the Skull Spiders in pigalle, i think of cult leader // king mala. rumor has it they are fastidious & honest, but secretive & explosive can be their fatal flaws. what their neighbors in living area call them is the strange one.

drug mention tw, arson tw

Full Name: Sakchai Niran, but he only goes by his alias 

Occupation: Pyro Performer in Madam Irene’s Circus & an Arsonist for the Skull Spiders.

A HISTORY, rather an abbreviation

Phanu was created the normal way. In a lab by corrupt scientists who had harvested his genetic material from an overdose victim. Bonus points for adding a little spidery-ness to the mix. 

Phanu, like many other dopplegangers, knew only Lieseil INC and it’s child companies until he was old enough to work for them. He was given a brilliant education, of course, but he never found himself excelling in those subjects.

When he showed a propensity for fire, well, that changed some things. While they couldn’t use him for assassination or any delicate matters, his attention for detail and fascination with fire and explosives made him an asset in other ways. 

PERSONALITY

Phanurat is... well, not shy. He’s boisterious and outgoing, loud-mouthed, and loves to be the center of attention. He’s a bit unlike other dopplegangers that way, in that he likes to draw eyes to him, but he’s found a way for it to work. There can be an anonymity in attention. People might write him off or say that he’s one thing and cannot be another. “Phanu? The fire performer? Sure, there was arson and he was seen nearby, but it couldn’t have been him. He doesn’t have it in him.”

He has an incredible attention to detail. The caveat? It has to be something that interests him. Where he lacks attention on any important matters like a drivers license, he makes up for it with wiring and pyrotechnics and explosives.

With his friends, he’s caring and always seems to remember little details about them.

But, he also has strange interests. He’s tried on multiple occassions to get people to make venom pacts with him, but he never quite makes it happen. No one seems to know what the “venom” is. 

He’s never seen without some kind of fabric covering his shoulders - one rumor said that he had spikes of some kind coming out of his shoulder blades, but it couldn’t be confirmed.

He likes to put on a show and one might wonder if that’s him just hiding who, or what, he really is. No one really knows any of his secrets or seems to recognize any defining traits about him besides his love for performance.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

Exes (mostly casual as he’s aromantic)

Casual Flings

Good & Best Friends

Other Dopples

[mowulf]

You Gotta be Kitten Me

CH 3: Rude!

“Is this… cat food???” Spy scrunched his face with a noise of disgust. “Look, I know we’re cats, but this is just insulting.” He arched his back at Medic and Engineer before he pointedly turned his back to them and sat down, nose up and tail curled around his paws.

Scout, too, made a face at the plates of wet food, though he was brave enough to scoot over and take a bite

only to immediately spit it out and wipe aggressively at his tongue. “Oh that’s wretched!” He looked up at Engineer, expression overdramatically betrayed, and sideways-angry hopped back. “I thought you liked me!”

Sniper cuffed him before approaching the food for a cautious sniff. “I doesn’t smell bad.”

“It don’t smell bad, but the taste…” Scout shuddered.

Sniper gave him an unimpressed look before leaning forward to give a quick lick at the food. He tilted his head, tail twitching, before he finally shrugged and took a seat by the plate. “Dunno what’s got you two so uppity. It’s not bad. Different, but not bad.” Scout scoffed while Sniper got comfortable and started eating.

Heavy hopped onto the table and sat next to Sniper, who acknowledged his presence with an ear flick. “Is good?”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it ‘good’, but it’s not bad.”

“Hmm.” His flicked before he finally leaned forward to take a bite. “Is good enough.”

“That’s the spirit.”

The two biggest cats eating encouraged the remaining cats to approach the other two untouched plates. Soldier took a bite, decided it was edible, and began eating with gusto. Demoman ate slower, pausing periodically to make an unhappy expression or vaguely distressed noises. Engineer and Medic had to wrestle the sock off Pyro who then took one lick and, like Scout, angry-hopped away. Unlike Scout, though, they hopped sideways until they fell off the table.

Engineer laughed as he picked Pyro off the floor and set them back on the table with everyone else. “If you aren’t gonna eat with the rest, then you’ll have to hunt. Cats can’t eat table scraps and people food. Isn’t good for ‘em.”

Spy shrugged and made his way to the edge with a grace only he could possess. “Still preferable to that garbage.”

“Woah, hey, what? No. No! I ain’t eating no dirty-ass mice,” Scout snapped. “Doc, please!” He hopped over and pawed at the doctor’s jacket.

Medic looked him over before finally scooping him up. “Since you aren’t hungry, I suppose I can give you a quick health check,” he said casually, tightening his grip when Scout tried to wiggle loose. “Pauling said she’d come over tomorrow as soon as she could. Hopefully she has an idea of what’s going on.”

“Got it. I’ll make sure everyone’s accounted for in the morning.”

Scout made a few more attempts to get free but quickly gave up and got comfortable. Much easier to do now, given how small he was. He was just starting to get properly relaxed when Medic finally entered the treatment room and made a beeline for the desk. The smell hit him like a brick wall and he retched.

Scout had always hated hospitals. They stank of sterilization and fear. But this? This was so, so much worse. The chemical smell hit him first, burning his sinuses and making his eyes water. Just when he thought it couldn’t get any worse, the smell of blood mixed in with undertones of death and decay.

When he was finally set down on the desk, Scout stumbled and dropped to his stomach while he covered his nose in an attempt to block out the smell. It worked to an extent. Medic, meanwhile, either didn’t notice or didn’t care as he dug through the desk for Scout’s file. A clipboard was finally set on the desk with a sharp clack, followed shortly after by a scale normally reserved for weighing organs. It was the only scale small enough for the cats, unfortunately.

By the time Medic was ready, Scout had adjusted well enough to the smell of the room to start looking around. “Alright, Scout, let’s get your weight.”

Scout looked up at Medic, over at the scale, and back. His tail puffed and he folded his ears back as he silently dared Medic to even try.

Medic dared.

Medic lunged and Scout bolted, but Medic had cared for birds most of his life. Catching small, fleeing things was basically second nature anymore. Grabbing hold of Scout was painfully easy, and he dropped the howling, flailing mass of teeth and claws into the scale with ease. “Scout,” he snapped, grabbing the scruff of Scout’s neck. Scout went frighteningly still. “The sooner you calm down, the sooner we can get this over with and the sooner you can leave. Got it?”

He waited a moment longer before he finally released Scout. Scout whipped around and scratched him with a hiss before he could pull away and Medic hissed in pain. Scout hissed back and hunched on the scale and his tail whipped back and forth. Medic examined the fresh scraped and sighed. They weren’t too bad, considering the wounds he’d seen on the field. Still, they were deep and were he anyone else he would need stitches. Instead he pulled a jar of ointment from a drawer and smeared it over the cuts. It wouldn’t fix the cuts completely, but it would stop the bleeding and reduce them to minor scrapes.

“Now that we’re done with that, let’s get started.” A low growl was the only reply. Lord, Scout was going to be the problem child of the group it seemed. With only a brief pause, Medic grabbed Scout and resettled him on the scale. “Hm.” He knew Scout was small but… 12 pounds? He wrote it down anyway. “Okay, stand over here,” he said as he tapped the desk. Scout gave him an angry glare but obeyed.

“More manhandling,” Medic warned before he pressed his thumbs between Scout’s shoulders.

“Ow! Watch it!” Scout squirmed as he was poked and prodded. He didn’t make a fuss when Medic grabbed his wrist and shoulder and tested the range of motion, but he did take another swipe when Medic pressed his fingers hard to expose his claws. “Be gentle,” Scout growled before licking his sore fingers while Medic hissed and examined the new set of scratches on his knuckles.

“Note to self,” Medic growled, “Clip their claws.”

“Not a chance!”

“Now hold still.” The rest of the physical was relatively easy, though uncomfortable. Medic wasn’t gentle and more than once Scout had to smack him away when he dug his fingers in too hard. But Scout was ultimately healthy, from what he could tell. There were no stiff joints, popped sockets, or broken bones. None of the bones or muscles were malformed. For all intents and purposes, Scout really was just a standard house cat. Well, aside from the overdeveloped hind legs which seemed to be a carry over from when he was human.

Fascinating!

“Alright, Scout. Let’s take your temperature and then you should be good to,” Medic said cheerfully as he rubbed more of the healing ointment onto his hands. Scout perked up at that and trotted over to take a seat in front of Medic and opened his mouth. Sweet freedom at last.

Medic chuckled as he pulled out a thermometer. “Oh Scout. Cat’s don’t take oral thermometers.” Scout’s mouth closed slowly in dawning horror and he lifted an arm. Medic just shook his head. “Try again.”

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

“After all, everyone has an agenda.”

"C'mon, Sebastian, just because you see the world as some kind of Excel balance sheet doesn't mean everyone does," Pyro protested, twisting around the watch on his wrist. It was a Rolex, and had tiny diamonds around the dial, and he was very, very fond of it. It wasn't the kind of thing he'd buy for himself normally, even when his books hit the NYT bestseller lists. And yet Leland had just casually handed it to him, out of what appeared to be a sizable collection.

"Harry's not like you, he actually has a heart."

Sebastian laughed. "What, you think he's a jolly old fellow, like Santa Claus? Harry was part of the Hellfire Club. Do you think he just sat by the fire drinking Scotch while the rest of us did all the scheming and plotting and murdering? He can be a bit soft, but he earned his spot in the Inner Circle, believe me."

"Yeah, well, I'm not exactly an angel myself," Pyro said. "At least he's capable of being nice once in a while." In fact, Leland had proven to be very, very nice indeed. Pyro had first visited him in his office to go over the finer details of his "backstory," filling in the gaps between the man's death and reappearance as a public figure. Harry - "Call me Harry," the man had insisted - had shared some very excellent brandy with Pyro, and they'd talked late into the evening. And then one thing had led to another, and, well....the office was well equipped with a comfortable sofa.

Harry wasn't even what Pyro would normally consider his "type," but there was just something so warm and comforting about the man.

"Yes, I can also be generous to whatever hot young thing I happen to bang, if I so choose. I can afford it, and it makes them so much more pliant in bed, and pleasant to be around," Sebastian said.

"That's not....it's not like that," Pyro insisted. "I'm not a hooker!"

"I didn't call you one. I realize it's not such an obvious transaction - but believe me, there is a transaction involved. I believe 'sugar baby' is the appropriate term."

"I'm not sleeping with him for his money, Shaw! It's just a....a casual little fling. Because he's actually a nice fellow, unlike most of your stupid Hellfire Club." This wasn't how Pyro had imagined this conversation going - he'd thought Sebastian would be unnerved by the thought of Pyro putting his filthy peasant hands all over Shaw's dear old friend.

"Yes, and as I said, you see only the side he chooses to show. Does he give you presents every time? Or just every other time?"

"I dunno, I don't really keep track," Pyro shrugged. Except, thinking back, it had been quite often. Maybe a tie clip, cufflinks, a bottle of wine. Once Harry had insisted on getting Pyro properly fitted for a suit, so he'd "actually have something nice to wear." Pyro never asked for these things, but he accepted them without demurring. He wasn't a fool, after all. He'd just never thought about it in those terms before.

"So, I suppose this makes me a hot young thing," Pyro added, hoping to salvage something positive out of the situation. What the hell, if he was a sugar baby, that meant he was irresistibly sexy.

"Hmph...well, theirs no accounting for taste. I suppose being a natural blond helps. The platinum dyed look is always rather tawdry." Shaw grabbed at Pyro's wrist and examined the watch.

"He didn't even spring for a Tourbillon, I see. The Rolex Datejust....that's not bad. Under $10,000, but not bad. I'd get as much out of him as you can. His interest in 'hot young things' can fade quickly. Maybe a few nice vacations. I hear Fiji is lovely this time of year."

"I'm not sleeping with Harry for that," Pyro said, snatching his wrist back. "I've got my own money." Not much at all compared to Leland or to Shaw himself, but enough to be more than comfortable. Hell, Pyro could take himself to Fiji if he wanted to.

"Oh yes," Sebastian added, his smile now sharp and cruel. "And enjoy calling him 'Harry' while you still can. Only a few of us get that as a lifelong privilege. Not a passing whim like yourself."

Pyro opened his mouth for a retort, but found himself with nothing to say - and a sick feeling churning in the pit of his stomach.

(OOC: Okay, I had this wild idea about Marauders continuity Pyro sleeping with Leland, and Leland giving him expensive presents, and Pyro not realizing that he's basically a sugar baby, and I was going to write it as a funny scene, but it somehow wound up more serious. I also had to leave Shinobi out, because I wasn't sure if he'd be amused or disgusted. So sorry for slight angst swerve. Hell, Pyro might not even have qualms about being a trophy fling, but he's not used to the idea of being in that position, and he's got such a romantic side to him, he doesn't like to think about sex being transactional. Also that line about platinum dye was totally a Shaw jab at Emma.)

[tf2-hellhole]

Hey could you do a soul mate au thing where the mercs find out their soul mate is the new recruit? Love your work btw ^^

I decided to do a different AU for each class group.

Offense: First skin-to-skin touch leaves a dark patch where they touched

Defense: Name of soulmate is tattooed on wrist

Support: Red string connected to each other’s pinkies (I like to imagine these strings magically never tangle, and will stretch or shrink based on how far apart the soulmates are, so that’s incorporated there)

Btw I assumed that the recruit is single and the merc already knows when they find out they’re soulmates

Scout:

Before he knew you were his soulmate, he’d always wanted to find you; since all of his past relationships have been pretty emotionally empty, he fantasizes about finding a soulmate who really loves him and spends tons of time with him. When he was little he’d always tell his mom he’d go out and find you.

You two find out during one of your first training sessions. Some of the other mercs are working out while you and Scout sit side by side, taking a short break together.

At some point, Heavy trips and falls flat on his face. Scout starts giggling like a little kid and nudges your arm with his to turn your attention towards the merc. You spend a few minutes laughing about it and cooling down.

Eventually, Soldier tells Scout to get up, and he obeys with a groan. But as soon as you notice the mark on his arm, you cry out and grab his hand. He turns around, about to ask what the problem is, but his eyes go as wide as yours as he notices the mark on the side of your arm, then pulls his skin so he can see the matching one on his.

He turns into a blushing, stuttering mess, and can’t focus on his training. He pulls you into a deep hug and exclaims how happy he is that he found you.

Once the initial shock is gone, he’s gonna brag to everyone on the team about finding his soulmate. Some are happy, some are annoyed. Spy acts like he’s super annoyed but internally he’s so happy Scout found you. Next time he’s allowed to use the phone, he excitedly calls his mom to tell her.

Soldier:

You’d expect him to be the type to insist that he’ll find you, but surprisingly, he isn’t. Soldier’s never been a person who expected to find his soulmate, so he basically stopped thinking about it. Sometimes he’s a little sad about not having found you, but generally he doesn’t mind or care because he’s given up hope. He still wonders what you look like though, even though he’s convinced he won’t find you.

Your first touch happens at a training session, but it’s not your first; You’ve already been to a few. At some point, Demo, who’s drunk off his ass, accidentally fires several pills all over the place, one landing at your feet.

Soldier quickly reaches out to grab your arm and pull you out of the way. Once he’s sure you’re fine, he lifts a hand to start scolding you, but cries out in surprise when he sees the black mark covering his palm and going up to the pads of his fingers, then looks down to see the hand-shaped mark around your arm.

You were already shocked when you saw the marks, but you were even more surprised by how Soldier was shocked into silence as he wrapped his head around the fact that you’re his soulmate.

But after a moment, a big smile spreads across his face, and he scoops you up into a bone-crushing hug, exclaiming excitedly that you’re his soulmate.

Like Scout, he’s going to run around and tell everyone he found you, but Soldier makes sure to drag you by the hand along with him. You bet your ass he’s gonna tell the opposite team Demo and Ms. Pauling as soon as he can, too.

Pyro:

(Features by Pyro burn scar headcanon)

Pyro’s always been a person who dreamed of finding you, but they never thought they ever would. Sometimes they get a little sad about not having found you, but they still hope that someday, somehow, they’ll get lucky.

When you two found out, you had been friends for a very, very long time, and Pyro finally trusted you enough to take their suit off in front of you and show you their face. They were obviously anxious about it, as they were worried about how you’d react to their scars, and it made you feel bad. Once they came back into the room in some normal, casual clothing, you smiled and reached out to take their hand and pull them into a tight hug, which they accepted happily. You assured them that you accepted them and cared for them despite their scars, and that they weren’t ugly at all.

Once you two separated, Pyro gasped and grabbed your hand again. You were about to ask what was wrong, but they turned your hand upward along with theirs. You saw what they were trying to show you; You now had matching black patches on the undersides of each hand.

After you two took it in for a moment, Pyro pulled you into a big, warm hug and giggled excitedly, happily exclaiming, “I found you! I finally found you!”

You’d think Pyro would drag you around and show you to the others, but no. They mostly keep it to themselves, except maybe Engie, and waits for you to tell them if/when you’re ready to tell the others. That won’t stop them from squeezing your hand or stealing kisses when nobody’s looking, though.

Demo:

Demo has always wanted to find you so badly, but since he’s grown up he’s given up all hope. When he was a teenager he looked into finding you, but as time went on and no leads came up, he started to give up. And though he would never say it to anyone, his parents’ not-so-kind words toward him half convinced him that he doesn’t deserve to find you.

You two find out that you’re soulmates after you’ve known each other for a few months, and have become friends. You haven’t said your names because everyone was forced to introduce themselves by their team role, and your uniforms cover your wrists. One day, he tells you he trusts you to know his name and he wants you to call him Tavish in private.

For a second, you’re completely quiet, and just stare at him in surprise. You ask him if his last name is DeGroot, which makes him match your expression. He tells you it is, and asks your name your name in return. Once you tell him, he starts to grin wildly and pull you into a hug with a laugh. When he puts you down, he pulls his sleeve up to show you your name on his wrist, and starts laughing again when you show him his name on yours.

For a while, all he can do is emphasize how much he’s always wanted to meet you, and how happy he is to have found you. Though, he doesn’t need to prove his excitement to you, as his ear-to-ear grin and excited movements are proof enough.

Surprisingly, he’s the type to keep the fact that he found you to himself, and will only share about it if you say you’re okay with it. Even after the initial excitement is gone, he always has a sweet, content smile whenever you’re around.

Heavy:

Heavy’s 100% given up on finding you. When he was little, he hoped he could go try to find you, but after his time in the gulag he started to believe that the world was a cold, unfair place and gave up on a lot of things, including you. Sometimes he dreamed that he’d find you somehow, but now that he’s getting older he’s convinced that it’d never happen.

Of course,  you don’t find out each other’s names for a while due to work rules and uniforms (even though he wears short sleeves, he keeps his covered), but it’s going to be a very long time because he’s very selective about who he trusts to know his name.

He only learns you’re his soulmate by complete accident. One time you were sitting by him with your chin in your hand, and your sleeve slipped down past your wrist. When he looked over he was surprised to see his name there, but he didn’t react at first.

He asks if you’ve found your soulmate, and you answer no. When you look up at him, there’s an excited gleam in his eyes despite there being no change in his expression. He shows you his wrist, and your eyes go wide as you see your name on his wrist. You show him yours and ask if the name is his. He says yes with a soft smile, and takes your hands to 

Engie:

Engie’s also the type that kind of gave up on finding you. He hopes he will someday, but he’s a really busy guy and he doesn’t have time to go look for you. Once he hit 40, he stopped believing he’d find you. Of course he wishes he found you, but he’s over it at this point and stopped caring. 

You find out that you’re soulmates after only a couple months of working together, because he trusts you pretty quickly. One day, he asks you to please start calling him by his name. You ask what it is, but when he answers, you freeze.

You immediately pull down your sleeve and show him your arm. He looks up at you with a smile, and shows you his wrist, watching you to see your reaction. His excited smile turns into a big grin when you exclaim that your name is on his wrist.

He quickly takes your hand in his, pulls down his goggles with his free hand, and looked up at you. He explained how happy he is that he got to meet you, and asks if you want to try to start dating, or at least try in the future if you’re not ready.

Around base, he spends more time with you, and he’s visibly much more content when you’re around. It’s cute seeing how you just being near him makes him so happy. He wants to know everything about you, and loves learning about you and the things you enjoy.

Medic:

Of course, when he was a little kid, he was so excited to meet you. He would always insist he’d find you, even though his parents often laughed at him about it. But once he got invested in science, he kind of dropped that idea. He’s convinced that he’s perfectly content with his job, his birds, and his few friends.

You two figure out that you’re soulmates fairly quickly. After you arrive on the base, you’re introduced to everybody in the rec room, though you don’t notice your strings are connected yet.

It’s when he pulls you away to connect you to the re spawn system and give you an Uber heart when you two realize. You sit up after he finishes the procedure, and as you’re getting up, you notice that the string is pooled between you two, and that they lead up to your fingers. You gasp and draw his attention to it.

When it clicks, he looks up at you, and it’s like there’s stars in his eyes. All of that excitement from his childhood seemed to fill him up again, and he is so excited. He pulls you into a tight hug and laughs happily.

As he spends more time with you over the next few months, he realizes how much he needed a companion like you. Even though he didn’t realize it at first, he was lonely, but he’s glad he was able to find you and become close to you.

Sniper:

Considering all of the tragedy and misfortune he’s had in his life, he’s surprised he hadn’t woken up to his string being cut and worn to a dull red, an indication of the soulmate’s death. He’ll never admit it, but he really, really wants to find you. He honestly doesn’t think he ever will, but he still wishes that someday he’ll find you by chance.

You two don’t realize that you’re soulmates until your first training session together. All of the mercs are out around the base practicing their skills in the morning, so Sniper’s off in some nest somewhere, sniping targets from there. At some point, you sit down to take a break. But before you get up, you realize your string is leading off in the direction of Sniper’s nest. You follow the string, and find that it does in fact lead up there.

When you get up into the nest, Sniper asks what’s wrong. You gesture to the string, which snaked between you two. His eyes went wide, and he immediately got up to approach you, which lowkey scared you a bit. After a moment of just processing what’s happening, he puts his hands on your shoulders, tells you how happy he is that he got to meet you, and then pull you into a tight hug.

He’s honestly so excited to be with you and loves spending time with you, and he’s like a little kid on Christmas, but he manages to sort of bottle that up so he’s not making a fool of himself. He loves to spend time with you and learn about you, and is lowkey excited to start dating whenever you’re ready.

Spy:

Spy pretends he doesn’t care about finding a soulmate, but deep in his heart he wishes he could find you. If you were to ask him about it without him realizing you’re his partner, he’d probably say soulmates are a silly, pointless thing. But with all of the relationships he’s had in the past, which were almost always loveless and purely sexual, he does wish he had someone who just loved him and cared for him.

You two figured out that you’re soulmates in a very unexpected way; on the battlefield. It was your first match, and you hadn’t noticed a Pyro sneaking up behind you. Spy took the chance for a free backstab, told you to watch your back, and ran past you, but he immediately ran into a Heavy-Medic combo. He cloaked, ran back, and pulled you around a corner with him, so you two could kill them once they had passed you.

But before you two left, you noticed the string being pooled between you two and pointed it out to him. His eyes went wide, but he said that he’d talk to you about it once the match was over, as nearby, your team was about to push. For the rest of the match, he was visibly shaking, and he couldn’t bring himself to look at you.

After the match, he pulled you aside to talk. You could tell he was trying to keep his cool, but he was visibly failing. He simply tells you that if you’re interested in trying a relationship with him, he’s open to start dating. If you say you’d like to try that, he smiles a little and you can see that he relaxes. It takes a while for him to fully warm up to the idea of being in a relationship, but he’s happy to have you and he’ll come around more eventually.

[pineapple-frostyfruits]

Okay, let's do something else. What if mercs found out that Y/N doubts themself? Like the way they look or what they do. Or they notice they aren't really confident with their work anymore.

(Oh ho ho did somebody not check URLs and determine reblogs from original posts? ~)

[I tease. But for you, yes, I'll do it anyway]

Scout: You could never really see it from the outside unless you knew what to look for, but Scout is very insecure. About his masculinity, about his capability at work, about his ability to even have a friend. To find out someone close to him - one person who he legitimately cares about and openly cares about him - to realise they doubt themselves and feel insecure too sometimes actually takes a weight off his shoulders. Even someone as amazing and wonderful as you could feel insecure or doubtful.

He spends his entire day, mid-fight or not, just chatting to you about what it is he finds hard to believe in himself with, and what you find hard to believe in yourself for, and you both get the silent solidarity of knowing someone understands - and will always be there for you.

Soldier: Soldier is confused at first. It didn't make sense to him. Someone as awesome as you? Feeling like they weren't amazing? But that's wrong! You are amazing! More amazing than a bald eagle flying through fireworks on a glorious American summer day! Who lied to you about how amazing you are? They will get a rocket to the face! And then a fist to their face! If any of their face is left!

You explain to him that it's just yourself, some memories here and there warping the perception you have of yourself so you could never really "see" yourself from the outside. So you assume the worst. He nods - he gets that, now - and he decides that whenever you seem down, he will start telling you exactly how he percieves you - every wonderful, glorious, blessed part of what he sees.

Pyro: Pyro sits you down at their tea party, gently placing a paper hat on your head before sitting down opposite you. They don't talk to balloonicorn or ask you to play, like they normally would, but instead they wait - watching you. They place their hands in their lap, and you can feel their hidden eyes looking directly at you. After a while, if you say nothing, they bring out a box - a box full of art supplies. They draw a picture of you - of your face - and then draw an "evil" version of you (its just you with huge black streaks under your eyes, greyer skin, and a big black cloak). They then point at you, give a thumbs up, then point at the evil version and shake their head.

They let you keep their drawings, and also promise you to draw a whole lot more, because they want to remind you that no matter what you don't believe in yourself for - no matter what you think you did wrong or what you're beating yourself up over - you do not try to have bad intentions, you are not a truly evil/bad person, and you are someone they - and the entire team - trust and care about. They will remind you about it every second of every day if they must.

Heavy: Heavy does not say anything at first - he quietly walks over to a table, sits down, and pulls out a chair for you to sit. If you do not take it, he trusts you to know your limits. You can sort yourself out, or come to him, whenever you need to. The choice is yours. If you do sit with him ... he quietly asks you what is wrong. He then waits for a reply - and if you deflect he will simply shake his head or say "no." If you want more of a reply, tell him. Tell him what makes you upset, what you doubt in yourself. He's listening to you for a reason.

Heavy will place a hand on your back [nearly covering all of it], and will tell you that "You are strong. You see Heavy's muscles - I can lift many thing - but you are best kind of strong. Strong in heart. It is a strong that Heavy had to learn - is not easy. Yet you are strong, you keep going. You are best kind of strong - keep doing your best. Is not easy, fighting inside mind is hard. But you make it this far already, da? No point giving in to the lies of your mind now. Keep being strong - if gives Heavy something to look up to. And he will always - always help however you need."

Engineer: Engie stops what he's doing, smiling softly and kindly, as you walk past him after he finds out about how you're feeling. He saw you earlier, when he was busy with something else, and he realised just what was going on with you. Now, later, he put down his wrench and his work outfit, and gently called out your name, asking you to come talk with him, please. He will keep politely prodding you to talk to him until you actually talk to him - or at least someone else - about how you're doing. If/when you come to him, he will be relatively quiet, but still brimming with his politeness and southern hospitality.

He'll softly ask what seems to have you down - he may know you're upset, but he would like to hear why from you, not just assuming. After you tell him what it is, no matter what it is, he'll nod softly, tapping his gloved hand against the bench or wall he's closest to. He'll talk about how your insecurities don't define you, how you're a wonderful person, someone he's glad he met here, and how no matter what you may think you're like, the team knows you. He knows you. And if you where half as bad as you thought, they'd tell you. You're a good person - and good is more than enough.

Demo: He's the second most outright, besides soldier. He'll ask you straight up if anything is wrong, what he can do. He has a very serious expression on his face, but it softens when you quietly tell him it's to do with self-esteem and doubting yourself. He'll pull you in for a strong, warm hug [if you don't like hugs he'll simply pat your back or nudge you gently with his shoulder]. He's going to comfort you for the rest of the day - just gently pampering you so you know how much he loves and respects you.

If you're not feeling better by that night, he'll have a serious - but not harsh - talk with you about how/why you're feeling like that, and discussing how he relates and can help, or anecdotes that put the situation in new light so its easier to care for yourself. It's the best way he knows how to offer comfort and advice - and for you, its less trouble than taking a breath to him.

Sniper: Sniper is his usual self - that is to say, quiet and socially anxious. He'd much rather just using a letter or a phone call to try and talk about issues. Seeing your face, watching you possibly cry, it's too much for him. He can't. But after half a day or so of knowing you're off about something, it becomes too unbearable and he has to help or he'll explode, he bets. He quietly slips you a note, or walks past you and murmers just loud enough to hear - either way, he asks you to visit him at his camper after the match.

Once you're there, he offers to help you get up on the roof - where you find a pile of pillows and blankets and a citronella candle. He lights the candle and invites you down to stargaze with him, watching the desert sky - and while he doesn't have to look you in the eye, he begins to tell you how important you are, how he's always so starstruck by the things you do, how sometimes he wishes he was more like you. After he feels the blood rush to his cheeks, he stops talking and hides his face, clearing his throat before suggesting you both go back to stargazing.

Medic: Medic would comment to you that he knows something is off - he won't stop what he's doing, he'll just keep up his schedule whilst he casually encourages you to tell him. The moment you let up - and he will not stop pestering you until you do - he will scoff at the notion and tell you that you're wrong. Just straight up saying that you're very clearly not as bad as you think, and anyone can see that. It's obvious you're an amazing, attractive, intelligent and skilled person. He's seen literally every part of you, inside and out! He should know! If you're still insecure about it, though ... he'll sit down, stop working [for once] and he'll talk with you about it.

He may occasionally be brash, or not mince words when commenting on what you say, but he genuinely means it from a place of goodwill. If anyone else ever said the things you thought about yourself, he wouldn't hesitate to correct them and fight them if they kept being an asshole. He has to remind himself that is you saying this, and not you repeating what someone else said. Once he's gone through it with you, counterpointing your issues with yourself until you had no more you could think of, he smiles softly and asks if you'd like to feed Archimedes with him. He'd be happy to let two of his favourite living creatures interact - and hopefully it would let him dote on both of you at once.

Spy: Spy stiffens slightly at the idea of talking to you. He knows he should, that it would make things easier, but ... he has a habit of running from difficult scenarios. Even basic consoling is strange and "dangerous" to him. However ... you're important to him. You're a good person, and he wants to stop running ... what better way to start sticking with things than comforting you?

He's awkward, at best. He, for once, doesn't know what to say. He offers you something you like - be it a drink he's seen you go out of your way to buy, a food item, a trinket - just something to break the ice. If you're willing to talk more than 3 words, then he'll relax a little, and occasionally the two of you will switch between talking about ... anything. Anything that could take your mind off of doubts and bring more to light the good parts of you - god knows theres more of those in you than in him. It ends up being quite cathatic, and he suggests doing it more. No matter what you decide, he understands - and he's happy he could "help" any way he could.

[official-weasley]

The Irreplaceable Charlie Weasley: Pt. 6, Ch. 2

PART 6: THE YEAR WHEN EVERYTHING FALLS INTO PLACE Chapter 2 - The Captain and the Quit

Nova

I couldn't believe I thought we had more time this year than the year prior. We had fewer subjects but they were more demanding so the free time was just on paper. I still attended Advanced Transfiguration with McGonagall and I was now officially a proud owner of a Salamander named Pyro.

The first day after the classes began, I went to talk to Professor Kettleburn to show him my O.W.L. result for Care of Magical Creatures and to convince him to let me take care of a Salamander. He was over the moon when he saw my results and took me to see one immediately.

I jumped for joy when I saw the little guy and I couldn't help but fall in love. Kettleburn told me that they are a big responsibility and if I will take good care of him, I would get extra credit in his class at the end of the year. I assured him that I would be good with the animal even without the extra credit and I was sure that is exactly what he wanted to hear.

With our lessons being so demanding and the ton of homework we got in each class, I've made a decision to quit Quidditch. Andre wasn't happy about it and neither was Orion. But after I told him that I didn't bring them that many wins last year due to that Bludger hitting me in the back, he stopped trying to get me back on the Team.

I knew Charlie was going to be disappointed as well, as he couldn't wait to play against me this year. He talked about it a few times when we were at the Burrow. I, on the other hand, realized that I don't miss it all that much and that I have other talents that are much better than my flying.

After telling Orion, I wanted to find Murphy and tell him as well. I felt so bad the other day when he asked to hang out with me and I turned him down. I didn't do so just because Charlie was sitting right next to me but also because I don't know how I feel about him anymore. He still gave me butterflies and I still couldn't get enough of his blue eyes but the problem was, the same thing was happening to me with Charlie. I was so confused the entire Summer as I didn't know what was happening inside my head. Truth be told, I still don't know.

I thought about Murphy and I felt my cheeks flush red but being around Charlie made me feel something entirely different that I haven't felt before and the way he was acting around me made him more attractive each day. I liked his calmness and the fact that I couldn't figure him out. It was like he was hiding something from me all the time.

I caught myself daydreaming about him almost every day and when the boys were playing Quidditch at the Burrow I couldn't take my eyes off him. I was ready to admit to myself that I have feelings for my best friend, for which I am not sure how I feel about, but then Murphy asked me to hang out and made my heartbeat raise and that confused me even more. I can't like both of them at the same time, can I?

I couldn't find Murphy anywhere so I decided not to push my luck. He will find out at the tryouts anyway and I didn't know if I wanted to be around him or not. I didn't want to give him false hope in case he fancied me because I didn't know where I stood with my feelings and it wouldn't be fair to him in case I would realize that I don't like him like that anymore.

The day I quit Quidditch I sent Charlie an owl to meet me down by the Lake. I wanted to tell him in private and I wanted to know if he was made Captain of the Gryffindor Team. He was their best player and I doubt they would pick anyone else.

“Pip, I can't always draw you.” I smiled at my owl when he hooted rather disappointingly when he saw I was drawing a Salamander. “He is not going to replace you. I am only looking after it. I promise.” Pip was skeptical and I knew I was going to have to visit him a lot this year to stay on his good side.

“Here's my favorite person!” Charlie sat down next to me on the blanket.

“Hi.” I greeted him, moving my pencils.

“I meant Pip.” He said with a serious face. At this point, I really couldn't tell if he was joking or not. Pip obviously didn't care as he hooted cheerfully and started picking at Charlie's hair. I couldn't stop myself from wanting to go through his hair too, it was so soft.

“Nova, I'm joking.” He said gently when he saw my stunned face. I shook my head. I have to be more focused around him. “I'm happy you invited me to hang out.” He smiled and I felt like melting. FOCUS!

“Pip wanted to hang out not me.” I teased him back.

“Then Pip and I will take this elsewhere.” I stuck my tongue out at his smug face as he was pretending to get up and leave. Pip was hooting happily, enjoying this as much as we were.

I knew we were both glad things went back to normal between us even though I still had a feeling something changed in the Forest. We had this energy whenever we were together that I am not quite sure I can explain. It's like everything is falling into place and I feel more comfortable around him than I did before.

“I actually have to tell you something.” I didn't know why I felt nervous, I knew he was going to understand.

“Go ahead.” He turned to me, reached for my hand and placed it in between both of his. Was I reading too much into this or was he more affectionate?

“I decided to quit Quidditch.” He let go of my hand.

“Why?” He asked concerned.

“After last year's accident, I kind of got scared. I still need healing sessions with Madam Pomfrey and I don't know...I guess I lost interest.” I shrugged and looked into his eyes to see how he was feeling about this.

“Okay.” He said, gently. “Is that the only reason?” He knew me too well.

“No.” I shook my head. “After everything that happened with us last year, I am trying to manage my time better. You know how much school work we have this year and between taking care of Pyro,” his lips curved as I said my Salamander's name, “and Advanced Transfiguration, I would rather spend more of this year with friends and with you.” I smiled and I knew there was no way to hide my red cheeks.

“You have to stop blaming yourself for last year, Nova. It's behind us, we're good.” He pulled me into a half hug. He always smelled so nice. He smelled like home.

“I know.” I sighed. “But I'm not changing my mind. What I did to you last year was horrible and I will never forgive myself.”

“I forgave you.” He pulled away and looked at me. His eyes were full of understanding as if last year didn't happen. I, on the other hand, still couldn't get over how much I hurt him. How could I do that to my best friend?

“Thank you.” I tried looking him in the eyes but I kept looking away. Suddenly his gentle smile turned into a smirk.

“Look on the bright side, you will have one more match to stare at me.” He winked and my heart skipped a beat. Why was he doing this to me?

“Oh, no! You found out my real reason for quitting.” We both started laughing.

Every moment I spent with Charlie, I held close to my heart. I know I am never going to take him for granted again. He was the most wonderful person I know and I was the luckiest girl to call him my best friend. He was understanding and always put his friends before himself and the fact that he was able to find it in his heart to forgive me last year was something that I don't think anyone else would be able to do.

“What did Orion say about it?” He asked. I think I was beginning to freak him out by staring at him so much.

“He wanted to persuade me to stay, of course.” I chuckled. “But I made it quite clear that I wasn't the best Seeker and they will probably do better without me. When I reminded him of every time I didn't catch the Snitch, he gave up.”

“And Skye?” He mocked. He knew Skye and I were usually not on the best of terms. She was shouting at me more than smiling and I never knew if she was serious or if I could relax around her.

“She didn't want to show that she was pleased to see me quit, even though she did a really poor job hiding it.” I laughed.

“I am really curious who they will pick to replace you.” He laid down on my legs, looking at the sky, probably wondering who it will be.

“Oh, I didn't tell you!” He said suddenly. “I was made Captain.” He said casually as if predicting the next day's weather.

“What?” I screamed in excitement. “And you let me go on and on about me quitting!” I poked him in the ribs.

“Your thing was more important.” He smiled.

“Nothing is more important than you being made Captain, Char!” I was so proud of him and I knew he was being modest telling me so casually as I knew he wanted the position.

“You are.” Seriously, when did he get so smooth? It was moments like this that made me question my feelings for Murphy.

“Well, congratulations! I am so happy for you! When are you holding tryouts?” I ruffled his hair. He chuckled as I changed the topic back to him.

“Saturday morning. I am really curious about my applicants. I am thinking of keeping all of the teammates as we work really well together, but I do need to find a new Keeper, John was a Seventh Year like Bill.”

“I'm sure you're going to do great, Cap!” I smiled. “And I can stalk you with Penny from the stands.” I smirked.

“I'm counting on it.” He grinned.

Even though we had so much work and at this point, I was dreaming about McGonagall and Transfiguration, I found time to spend with Charlie and all of my friends. Even though I barely saw Tulip except in our dormitory and Penny was Merlin knows where, probably with Andre. I felt like I was studying more than her this year! And Tonks was so busy developing a new product with Bilton that I don't even know if she was sleeping in her dormitory.

But I didn't mind. It gave me time to focus on my studies and suddenly I had more time to draw which I don't remember when the last time was. I also visited Pip at the Owlery more and invited Charlie to tag along when I went to take care of Pyro. I was feeling more like myself than I did in two years and I promised myself I will do everything to keep it that way because last year, I was a disaster.

[i-dont-want-your-hysteria]

Curiosity Cursed the Leppard

(This is a stupid little idea I wrote 2 years ago- one of my first Leppard fics that I actually executed. Normally I try to be as historically accurate as humanly possible, but I’m a teeny bit lazy with this one. I didn’t edit much when it came to proofreading this. I posted this on ao3 and rockfic 2 years ago once it was done, so if you recognize it, thanks for reading it so long ago!)

Words: 3,406 Characters: Phil, Steve, Rick, Sav, Joe, Peter Mensch Setting: March 1983, beginning of the Billy Squier tour Summary: The baby Pyro Leppards are sick of sitting back and doing what they’re told. To spite their dearest band manager, they need to- as Steve once put it- “break up the monotony”. Unfortunately, their curiosity comes with some minor consequences...

------

March 1983, somewhere in Europe

“Look at this over here!” Phil called back into the hotel room from the balcony, “Swimming pool!”

Steve trotted out to the balcony and joined his Terror Twin at the railing. Down in the small yard of the hotel was an in-ground pool with a few lawn chairs and a diving board. It was nothing extravagant, but it was a pleasant sight no less.

“That’d be really nice, if it were a bit hotter out,” Steve leaned on the railing of the balcony. When he spoke, the fog of his breath was visible.

The Leppards were about to begin their tour as the opening act for Billy Squier. They had about a week before any of the shows actually started, though. With all this extra time and no plans, there really seemed to be no telling what they could get themselves into before they had a show. Since it was the first day of their down time, curiosity seemed inevitable.

“It’s still early in the morning, it’ll get warmer,” Phil encouraged, “Don’t know about you, but I’d take the chance!”

Steve hung his head, looking directly down from where they stood, “I think you’ve forgotten what season it is, mate.”

“It won’t make a difference if it’s winter or summer,” Rick appeared in the doorway, joining in on the conversation, “I heard the pool’s heated, anyways. They haven’t turned it on for the day yet.”

Phil’s head popped up and he cooed, “Ooh, even better; we can pop in for a hot swim after our runnin’ around today.”

“Don’t even think about it!” Peter Mensch echoed from the inside, “Heated pool or not, it’s only 34 Fahrenheit outside right now, and you boys can’t risk getting sick! Besides, you probably won’t even have time to swim after all that we’ve gotta do today.”

Sav appeared next to Peter, holding a few of his luggage bags, “Oh, it’s not that much to do; it’s mostly just the dinner with Bill!”

Peter had to object, “Maybe it mostly is the dinner with Bill, but it can still take forever. All I’m saying is, don’t take the chance; we’ve got stuff to do.”

And with that, he exited the one large hotel room the Leppards all had to share.

“All this ‘stuff’ he’s claiming we have to do is just the same old story,” Joe muttered to Sav, also carrying luggage, “He says its ‘super important’ and we’ve ‘got to be there’, but we just end up taggin along with him for the ride and he does all the work.”

“It’s like we’re his pets or something,” Rick flew past the two of them and jumped face-first onto one of the beds.

“Or his children,” Sav commented, “Either way, he thinks he needs leashes on us.”

Phil suddenly called back into the room over his shoulder, “I say we spite him.”

Steve yelled back in the same manner, even though he was answering to Phil right next to him, “Ditto.”

“But how?” Joe inquired to the men on the balcony, putting luggage on the bed right next to Rick, “You two are the experts of spite.”

Phil simply motioned his arm out towards the yard of their hotel with a formal demeanor, “Let’s go for a quick swim; it’s the perfect opportunity!"

Steve nodded in approval of Phil’s proposal, and silence fell between the band for a sudden and brief moment.

“Count me in,” Rick muttered into a pillow, which made it sound more like gibberish. He sat himself up and stared at Joe and Sav, awaiting a response to support the future actions of the rest of the band, “What about you two?”

Sav and Joe looked at each other and shrugged.

“I’m alright with it, ‘long as we do it later,” Joe expressed his agreement as he looked out to the Terror Twins on the balcony, smirking, “Can’t spite him too early in the day.”

“Yeah, I say we do it later when it’s not freezing outside,” Sav suggested, “Spitin’ him doesn’t mean we have to freeze our arses off.”

***

When leaving for their day activities about an hour later, the five band members gazed in awe at the steam coming off of the pool water. As they walked on by, a woman with long dark hair and pale skin was in the pool.

“Ooh, can’t wait for that later,” Phil cooed.

“Can’t wait for what?” Steve asked him while they both stared outside, “The pool, or the girl?”

Phil casually joked, “Ah, I’ll flip a coin.”

“Okay,” Joe whispered to the rest of the band as they fell behind Peter a little more, “After we get back, we hide out in our room and wait until he’s gone.”

Sav added onto their plan, “And hiding time is prep time. We get changed, we check to see if anyone’s around the pool, all that jazz.”

“Sounds like the most exciting thing we’re gonna do all day,” Rick commented as they strode along into their “busy” day, “Don’t know how long I’ll be able to last through all of this useless shit we’ve gotta do.”

“It’ll all be worth it,” Phil assured them, “We’ve just gotta wait... and Lord knows for how long.”

***

They ended up waiting until about 7pm that night before they got back to the hotel. It was strange, because once they did get back, Peter said that he was going to simply leave them for the night. At the time they found out, the Leppards reacted normally, talking about being cooped up with the telly for the night or getting a good drink or two in. They all knew Peter had to run back out and do other manager-type things, but they didn’t know when he was leaving.

While they were waiting for him to leave, they all hastily got changed into swim trunks and fished out towels from the bathroom and kept peeking around to see whether the man of the hour still remained close by.

“I can’t take this anymore,” Phil said at one point, “We’ve been waiting 11 bloody minutes!”

“So?” Steve walked out of the bathroom in swim trunks, “It’s just 11 minutes. We weren’t expecting him to leave right away.”

Phil put on a pair of jeans over his own trunks, threw on a shirt, and made his way to the door of their room, “Well I’m impatient, and it’d be nice to know where this little plan of ours stands at the moment. We gotta look to see if he’s gone yet.”

“Be careful out there, solider,” Joe joked, strolling into the room with a bath towel.

***

Phil slipped out of the room and into the empty hallway silently. He walked towards the end that had Peter’s room, when Peter himself suddenly turned the corner in front of him, making him jump.

“Oh- Peter!” he awkwardly greeted him, “Hello, there!”

“Long time no see,” Peter greeted him back, not taking a second to stop walking. Phil, however, needed that stolen second.

He turned around to look at Peter and tried not to sound rushed when he asked, “Hey- uh, where are you headin’ off to right now?”

“Just to the arena where next week’s first show is,” he began, “Then I’m off to another meeting with Bill’s managers, then I’ve got to meet up with Mutt for a phone call to-”

“Oof,” Phil interrupted hastily as if it were bad news to him, and kept walking along, “That’s a lot, that’s tough. Hope you get it all done, bye!”

He suddenly turned and walked in the opposite direction, waving farewell. It prompted Peter to wave back (confusedly). Once their paths had crossed for good, and Phil turned a corner, he slowly peeked back around the corner to see if his target had completely gone. Once he saw the man in question enter the lift, the guitarist made his way back to the band’s room with a smug grin on his face.

It was go time.

***

“He’s been gone longer than I thought he’d be,” Steve commented as he gazed through the peep-hole of their door after only about three minutes of Phil’s absence. The other three were close by him, awaiting any news from their foot solider.

Joe pitched in, “Maybe he had to hide?”

Rick suggested, “Maybe he got in trouble?”

Sav countered, “And what would he get in trouble for so quickly?”

“Oh, he’s coming!” Steve whispered excitedly as the four of them back away from the door, leaving room for Phil to open it. When he did, he came in quickly, shut it behind him and exchanged a pleased look with the rest of the band.

They all waited in anticipation for a quick moment before Phil announced, “Our plan is a go, lads! He’s gone!”

The other four clapped and cheered briefly before each heading in a different direction to get their towels and shoes.

“What took you so long?” Steve asked him with a laugh, “I thought you were just snoopin’ around, weren’t you?”

“Well,” Phil shrugged, walking over to a bed where his towel lay, “I had to hide for a bit to watch him leave because I accidentally ran into him, and I also asked that lovely girl we saw in the pool earlier to join us...”

The older guitarist exchanged a smirk with the rest of his band, and they all suddenly looked excited. Whenever they hung out with girls, it tended to get wild (and almost certainly meant that one of them would get lucky).

“And?” Rick anxiously inquired, speaking for the whole band.

The smirk left Phil’s face instantly, and his voice dropped to a tone of disappointment, “She said she had to go meet up with friends.”

A collective chorus of “aww”s and “dammit”s subtly filled the room, but they all headed out the door and down to the pool no less. They passed the front desk along the way when-

“Excuse me, gentlemen?” the fairly young American man at the desk called out to them as they walked on by. They stopped in their tracks and faced him, trying to cover up their bare chests with their towels. Their turning around was a good enough answer to the man's question.

“I’m sorry, but we’ve just gotten a report that the heater in the pool has stopped working. We’ll have maintenance around in the morning to fix it,” he informed them. The band all sighed and moaned in defeat. Their one rebellious act on this boring day was cancelled.

“Can’t we still go in?” Steve asked him, resulting in a slap on the arm from Sav.

“It’s freezing out, and you wanna go swimming in an unheated pool?”

Steve shrugged, trying to prove a point, “Well if it hasn’t been broken long, the pool’s probably still heated a bit, right?”

“If you all wanna go in, you’re more than welcome,” the man at the desk offered, “But I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“Right, thank you, sir,” Phil smiled, turning with the rest of the band towards the exit to the outdoor patio where the pool was. They didn't care about temperature at this point; they had a goal. Right about now Joe would normally be the one to turn them onto the right path, but he knew that they all had their minds set on the same path. He knew they weren’t just gonna stop.

“We’re all mad, we really are,” he mused excitedly to them, “Old man Peter’s gonna have our heads if he finds us right now.”

Rick tied his towel around his neck like a cape and laughed, “If he finds us, but we know he won’t!”

They all giggled like children as they walked outside to patio where the illuminated in ground pool resided, their breaths now visible. The freezing air of the evening enveloped them immediately, causing them to pull their towels around them tighter. After a moment, though, they all tossed their towels onto the chairs nearby, embracing the brisk temperature.

“Little chilly,” Sav stated as they kept walking towards the pool. When they got there, Steve kicked off his shoes and dipped his toes in right away.

“Little heated,” Steve said back as he felt the water with his foot.

“Little jump!” Phil threw his towel behind him and suddenly jumped into the pool, splashing the others in the process. They all gasped and started laughing at the guitarist’s perfect entry.

Rick pointed at the water where Phil was, “Okay, he’s mad!”

Phil came back up, wiped his eyes and told them, “It’s actually quite nice! Just come right in!”

“Well someone’s gotta go first!” Joe proclaimed, “And it’s not gonna be me!”

A quick pause between the remaining four ensued. It was broken when Sav suddenly yelled for a split second and fell forward into the pool. Joe, Phil, and Rick all turned and looked at Steve, who had just been standing behind Sav (and was now giggling).

“Oops,” he sarcastically snickered before jumping in after Sav and swimming as far away from the bassist as possible. Rick and Joe both broke down in laughs and wheezes, along with Phil in the pool.

Sav resurfaced with a curtain of wet hair over his eyes and called out to no one in particular, “Where the fuck is he?! Steve!”

“Over here!” Steve playfully called out from the middle of the pool, far away from where Sav currently was. Sav scooped his hair out of his face, located Steve a few yards away, and dove after him.

"Okay, okay, who's next? Me or you?" Joe said to the drummer.

"Actually," Rick proposed immediately after the inquiry, "I've got an idea for both of us."

***

“Okay, ready?” Rick asked Joe, who was standing on the side of the pool opposite himself.

“Ready,” came the response.

“One...” Rick counted.

“Two...” Joe continued.

“Three!” they both shouted as they began to run. Once they both reached the edge of the pool, they jumped simultaneously and just as clumsily as one another. For the second that they were both in the air, they managed to high five each other perfectly with a quick scream before plummeting into the slightly heated water. The three other band members that were already in the water applauded them at their success with enthusiastic claps and laughs. When Rick and Joe resurfaced, they were immensely pleased with their accomplishment, celebrating it with a proper high five. And thus, the private (but still forbidden) pool party had begun.

The next two hours housed a wide variety of spontaneous activities. These happenings ranged from cannonball competitions, to genuine conversation, and to reenactments of live shows (but played underwater, of course). The band’s wading in the water went unnoticed by the hotel staff the whole time it commenced, just as the cold temperature outside went unnoticed by the band themselves. Once the pre-provided heat had worn off into nothing but steam, the band's energy began to wind down slowly as well.

"Man," Phil remarked at one point when they were all still swimming, "Who knew that swimmin' for a bit could make your throat hurt."

"We've all been yelling too much, you know what that does to your voice," Joe told him knowingly (after all, he was the singer), “You know what happens when your energy gets up.”

“I feel like we’ve just played a show,” the drummer pulled himself up onto the edge of the pool and stretched both of him arms, feeling how sore they now were.

Sav, on the other hand, kept his shoulders underwater in order to provide some protection from the bite in the air. His hair was also acting like a scarf to the back of his neck to retain some of his body heat.

His jaw chattered when he spoke, “Is-sn’t anyone g-gonna mention how cold it is n-now?”

“He’s r-right,” Steve supported Sav, floating right next to him in the exact same manner, “It’s gotten a l-lot colder...”

“Guess it’s time we all called it a night, then,” Joe pulled himself out of the pool and quickly wrapped himself in a towel, now visibly shivering as well. The four other men followed his lead as the water on the ends of their hair slowly began to chill to a freezing temperature. In a few minutes, they were all heading back to their room, smushed together in the hopes of heating up even a little bit.

"Can't wait to get me some nice, hot tea," Rick rubbed his towel back and forth around him, "Now my throat's killin' me."

“Blimey, can you believe how cold it is in here?” Phil asked his friends once they were back inside the hotel (even though the heaters were most certainly running). They all nodded and murmured in collective agreement at the remark.

The man at the front desk had heard this interaction, and sighed as he continued to fan himself with a folder, sweating in the excessive heat of the hotel.

***

“You guys are all idiots, you know,” Peter stated bluntly to the band members the next morning.

They were all grumpily moaning in front of him on the beds and couch, far from being ready for any sort of activity. They were also all as sick as dogs; each of them running a fever, each of them huddled up under several blankets, and each of their noses acting all kinds of crazy.

“I can’t believe you guys would go swimming in an unheated pool when it’s 39 fucking degrees outside, and think that you wouldn’t get sick- especially when you know we’re at the beginning of a tour!”

“Hey now, Peter,“ Joe croaked sassily from under the covers, his beloved voice now destroyed, “We’ve still got a whole week before any shows.”

“Besides,” Phil added nasily, “Aren’t you happy we’re learning our lesson?”

“You got me there,” the manager pointed at him, “I shouldn’t be surprised; I don’t know why I am, but lucky for you dumbasses, you just got yourselves out of today’s activities.”

Soft sighs of “yes” swept over the hotel room as Peter covered his eyes with his hand in disappointment.

“No, not yes!” he couldn’t help but chuckle with a hint of anger, “You're still very sick! Now you boys have to get better, and fast! The fact that you’re sick doesn’t take away the fact that we’re on tour!”

“We’ll try to get better soon, we promise,” Sav whined before sneezing loudly, then holding his head in discomfort, "Ughh... I hope so..."

“We’re real sorry, Peter,” Steve pouted and made a fake but sleepy apology, “But we’re actually gonna need you to get some medicine for us, if it’s not too much trouble.”

The manager sighed at the innocent request and gave in, “Yeah, yeah, I can do that. Maybe it’s actually a good thing you’re all sick; now you don’t wanna run off into trouble.”

Sav mumbled to Joe next to him, “Told you he wants to put us on leashes.”

Peter spoke up, “What was that?”

“Nothing!”

“And for god’s sake, guys,” the oldest man in the room began to make his way over to the heater, “Would it kill you turn down the heat in here?”

“Yes, it would kill us!!” came five disgruntled objections, making the manager freeze in his current action and back away from the heater with both of his hands up in surrender.

“Alright, alright, I guess I’ll see you guys in a few. Is there anything else you want me to get?”

“Tea,” was all Rick needed to say.

“Gotcha,” Peter confirmed with the young drummer before quitting the Leppards’ room. A bit of quietness took place right afterwards, just to make sure that Old Man Peter didn’t come running back in to see if they were faking the band-wide illness.

“So what do you think?” Joe asked his four other friends, “Worth it?”

There was another brief silence before Phil answered, “Yeah. Definitely worth it.”

“Same here.”

“Agreed.”

“It was delightful.”

Low, evil, chuckles made their way around the room and faded away. The band members then laid in silence and stared up at the ceiling, now uncertain of what to do next in their unexpected down time.

“So...” Phil proposed to them, “First one to break their fever wins?”

Steve immediately turned his head to answer for the entire band, "You’re on.”

The end

[jellybelly-may]

Midoriya Izuku x Older Sister!Reader

MIDORIYA IZUKU

Precious cinnamon roll, broccoli head, freckles.

Sibling: Older Sister

Looks: You look like a fem!Midoriya

Age: 20 

Quirk: Pyro-telekinesis

Warning/Spoiler(s): This happens when Class 1-A live in the U.A compound.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was another boring day for the students of Class 1-A.

They had just finished their classes and was currently relaxing in the dorm's living room. With the holidays coming around the corner, the girls were chattering their heads off about it. They talked about where they would go, visiting foreign places Yaoyorozu ,and yada yada. Girl talks ya know?

Meanwhile with the boys...

Most of them, sat on the couch and flipped through the TV, trying to find something interesting to watch. Midoriya, however was the last person to shower as he had to discuss something with All Might. Some were suspicious about his closeness with the No. 1 Hero but brushed it away. 

Currently, the boys were tired hearing the girls chattering loudly about the upcoming holidays,except Mineta who was too focused on hearing things others didn't want to hear. The others cringed while some scowled at his perverted behaviour. Bakugo sent a death glare to him which made his spine shivered. Mineta slowly turned around and was faced with Bakugo's rage, who sat on the couch between Kirishima and Todoroki. He gulped and nervously made his way to Kaminari as soon as he saw explosion emitting from Bakugo's hand. Bakugo huffed and returned to watch the channels that they were flipping through. Sero held the remote control and flipped through the channels too quickly.

"Breaking News!! A new Hero--"

The sentence announced by the news reporter caught their attention.

A new Hero?

However, Sero did not realised the somehow important news and continued to changed the channels. Bakugo yelled at the ravenette to quickly change back the channel. Sero jolted at his loud shouts and stumbled to switched the channels back to the one they wanted. They were impatient to see who the new Hero was. They didn't want to missed the news, just for the sake of a new Hero. Sero finally found the correct channel and they watched the news intently.

"--debut today near Tatooin Station by accident!"

"Isn't Tatooin Station nearby the school?"

"Shut up Flat-face!!"

With that, the boys were all silent and continued to watch the news. The girls' chatters ceased and they joined the boys who were too absorbed in the news. The room was silent and no one dared to say a thing as they were all too engrossed in the news. The only noise that filled the silence was the excited voice of the news reporter, who seemed fascinated by the new Hero. What they saw was that everyone who was in the TV, showed signs of how excited to see the Hero and they pulled out their phones to record the Hero,who fought against the Villain. The crowd cheered when they spotted the young Hero arrived at the scene with the Villain in hand. The reporter gasped at the sight of the new Hero and rushed over to interview the Hero. The camera zoomed in to show the Hero's appearance.

The Hero turns out to be a female. She appeared to be in her early 20's, which the bunch of teenagers noted. Her long green fluffy hair gently swayed in the breeze and her hair was tied up with a red ribbon.(just the hair mkay). She had her backpack on with her that tightly secured behind her. She wore something rather casual and gothic for a Hero. Then again, she had to fight the villain and accidentally revealed herself to the public in order to save the citizens around her. She wore what looks to be a low-cut white tank top that was tucked into her purple shorts that showed her fit but smooth legs. Attached to her shorts were silver chains that had tiny fire symbol on them. She wore black leggings that reached her mid thighs along with a pair of matching black shoes. Her black layered trench coat was appealing to some of the students who preferred a more gothic styled clothing. Lastly, her black choker with a star necklace sat on her neck and two bracelets on each wrist complimented her outfit. 

Bakugo narrowed his eyes at the somehow familiar woman that stood in the TV. He felt as if he knew her from somewhere but couldn't recall where he had seen her. He wasn't the only one as Iida and Todoroki thought of the same thing too. They brushed it aside and continued to watch the news.

The now bashful Hero scratched the back of her head as she handed the unconscious Villain to the police when they arrived at the scene. The police gratefully took him and quickly cuffed him up before he could regain consciousness and attack the innocent passerby. They chucked him into the backseat of the police car, with each policemen seated beside him. Hurriedly, they drove off leaving the young Hero alone surrounded by the news crew. Multiple microphones were shoved into her face while their loud voices questioned her about who she was, what her Quirk was and more.

She put her hands in front of her and opened her mouth to speak. "If you would please move back to give me some space, I would certainly give you the answers you need." Immediately, everyone shuffled back, leaving some space for the young adult to speak. She sighed in relief and clasped her hands to her chest. The students realised her hourglass figure and blushed. Most of them looked away from the screen until the cameraman switched places. Mineta, unlike the others, shamelessly watched her curvy figure. Blood dripped down from his nose until Jiro's earphone jack stabbed him in the head. He screamed in pain and writhed on the floor. 

'Serves him right...' Everybody thought.

Tsuyu was to first to comment. "She oddly resembles Midoriya in a way."

Placing their attention back to the screen, they were right in time to hear what she had to say.

"I am just another normal person and I just happened to see the Villain in my way. So I think you are able to know the rest." She gave them a sweet smile before picking up her red luggage that fell to the floor. As she was about to leave, the persistent reporters crowded her once again, wanting to know her Quirk and real name. "Umm, please move back." Her pleas fell onto deaf ears and their constant question got louder and louder. She clenched her fist and was ready to take serious action but froze when she saw a black limousine approaching them. The luxurious car stopped and everybody stopped to see who it was. Only the young female knew who it was and gulped nervously. The chauffeur made his way out and opened the passenger seat. 

Inside, many people thought the car was engulfed with fire until a person stepped out and the passersby recognize the person and shouted out in glee. "It's Endeavour!!" The attention was now put onto Endeavour, who looked well pleased with the attention he got. But his main concern was that his apprentice was not home yet. Striding forward with confidence, peole made way for him to walk until he reached the young woman who was embaressed about the current situation. He snorted and pulled her arm. With the snap of his fingers two men came and took her belongings to the car. They swiftly got into the car that sped off. With that, the news reporter became bitchy about not getting any information about the new Hero.

Class 1-A -minus Midoriya- gaped at the TV. First a new Hero that did not bother to tell who she was and then Endeavour came by and took her away like some shojo manga. Bakugo was the first to react. He grabbed Todoroki's collar and practically screamed in his face. "Half and half... YOU BETTER EXPLAIN WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT!!" Todoroki cringed as he felt the explosive blond's saliva fell onto his face. He pushed Bakugo back and wiped off the germs that contaminated his face. He faced Bakugo, looking annoyed at the blond.

"To be honest, I don't know what he was doing and also I didn't know he had a female sidekick. He usually has male sidekicks but...she somehow looks familiar to me." 

Iida seemed surprised by this. "You too? I vaguely remember her somehow." 

"Maybe we should ask Midoriya about this. Maybe he has an older sister?" Tsuyu implied,putting a finger on her chin and letting out her usual 'kero' sound. They agreed and got up to find Midoriya in his bedroom. That is until Midoriya appeared from the doorway and greeted them. "Hey guys! Sorry I'm..." He stopped dead in his tracks when he realized they were staring at him. Not just a normal stare, more like a -what are you hiding from us- stare. Midoriya shifted from one foot to another. "G-guys...Are y-you all okay?" He felt unnerved from their stares until Iida spoke up. 

"Midoriya-kun! Do you happen to have an older sister?! Or perhaps a relative, besides your mother of course." Iida announced. He couldn't help but to do his weird hand gestures. Midoriya looked confused. That's until the light bulb light up.

"I do have an older sister. She currently works as a sidekick for a Hero but I don't recall who. That was a year back. I mean she could have changed to another Hero. Why do you ask?"  

Ashido squealed loudly,almost deafening some of the people near her. She raised her hand. "Does she tie her hair with a red ribbon?! And wears clothes like a cool person?" Ashido's non-stop questions made Midoriya confused. All of his classmates confused him at this moment. Why would they ask about his older sister? Most importantly, how did they know he had an older sister?

Just then, there was a knock on the door. The door opened,revealing Aizawa who stood annoyed at something. Next, to him was no other than Endeavor who scowled at the sight of the youngsters. Aizawa's eyes darted from one student to another until he reached the specific student he wanted. 

"Midoriya." The said boy stood straight up and greeted his teacher. He only got a sigh from his teacher who announced that he had a visitor. Midoriya was now losing his mind. Visitor? Who would visit him now? His mother would have called him first and his father was in America. Who else would want to visit him right now? Aizawa moved aside to unveil a small woman who smiled brightly. She was around Iida's height and her long green fluffy hair reached her hips. As soon as she locked eyes with Midoriya, her smile seemed to brighten and she ran over to him and hugged him tightly. Her breast suffocated the young male who seemed flustered at the affection by this woman. He pushed her away which shocked her. He stared at her and then a look of recognition appeared on his face. 

"(Y-Y/N)?" Midoriya trembled at the young woman who smiled in relief. She opened her arms, indicating she wanted a hug from him. He didn't hesitate and ran to her. He felt the warmth that he missed over from the years. They stood in that stance until Iida broke the awkward silence. "Excuse me for interupting this bond between the two of you. If I may ask, who are you and what is your business here?" He stared at the duo that looked flustered when they realized that others were staring at them. Midoriya looked more flustered than the girl and apologized to his friends. The girl,however, recognised Iida and two other boys within the group. Excitedly,she pulled the three boys towards her and hugged them tightly. The said boys were blushing madly when they came in contact with her soft body. 

"I'm surprised you three don't remember me! It's me, Midoriya (Y/N)! A.k.a Flyrian. Tenya, Shoto I don't blame you but Katsuki! You should have remembered me!" She rambled on,still holding the three boys to her. That is until Bakugo wriggled out from her death hug and tried to punch her but fail to do so as she merely dodged his attacks. Letting go of the two other boys, she faced her adorable younger brother. Placing her hand on her hip, she smirked at him.

"Now Izu, shouldn't you introduce me to your friends? Or maybe even your girlfriend?" She laughed when she saw Midoriya stumbled on his words,trying to stop his sister from embarrassing him infront of his friends. She wiped away a tear and once again smiled softly at him.

"I'm home, Izuku." 

Midoriya quickly wiped away his tears.

"Welcome home, Onee-san."  

[thanksjro]

Last Stand of the Wreckers, Issue #4: This Series is Awash With Lippy Sons of Guns

Issue #4 starts off with an uncomfortably handsome Prowl. I mean honestly, look at this asshole, he’s simply too pretty.

I don’t think Roche has ever drawn the guy ugly, but this is on another level.

We’re in a flashback sequence here, as we start to gain an understanding of just why exactly Ironfist got put on the Wreckers in the first place. Back when he was working at Kimia, Ironfist got a call from Prowl. Seems Prowl’s read his work, and is impressed by the sheer amount of effort he’s put into it. They chat a bit about it, but no call with Prowl is ever casual, and he asks Ironfist if he’s ever been interested in actually being a Wrecker. Which, of course he has, but he’d never exactly been cut out for that kind of work, especially after his Accident™. Prowl has a little push in that area, because he’s Prowl, and makes a deal; Ironfist joins the Wreckers as a weapon expert, and in exchange he does something for Prowl.

We won’t find out what exactly Ironfist’s agreed to do until later, as we jump back to the present, where the Guzzle and Kup are about to lay the smackdown on some unsuspecting Decepticons.

With how many cameras are currently trained on you guys, I can’t say you really have the time for wisecracks, old-timer.

That big vault door behind them leads to the cell of one of the most notorious Autobots ever to grace the galaxy- Grimlock. This is the “help” Springer requested they find, meaning that he’s a sort of last resort, which tells you just how much of a powerhouse the guy is. Volatile, sure, but a powerhouse regardless.

Too bad the cell’s empty.

Snare steps in to explain just why that is, having snuck up on our Big Gulp duo.

Well I’m sure that won’t be a plot point later on.

Of course, Guzzle doesn’t really feel inclined to believe a word of what this Getaway kitbash says, and starts threatening to shoot him. Snare however, has even more secrets to tell.

Perceptor and pals have finally discovered just what the hell it is that they’ve been looking for all this time. Aequitas is a supercomputer, and a massive one at that. They’re here to download its memory files. Topspin is less than pleased with this whole thing.

Ironfist agrees- there’s no way they’re going to be able to get all the data in Aequitas downloaded before the Decepticons get through to them and tear them to pieces. Verity, however, is more concerned about the size of the computer itself.

A large part of Aequitas is made up of something called a culpability drive, which breaks down factors like motivation and accountability into a streamlined equation so it can do something completely ridiculous: calculate guilt. Yes, someone had the bright idea to break down guilt into a binary system, without any “human” element involved. Because that couldn’t possibly backfire.

Then the narrative catches up to Topspin, and Ironfist and Verity get put on babysitting duty while he deals with his phantom pain. Pyro’s made to help Perceptor with booting up the computer.

Over with Springer, he and Impactor have a little heart-to-heart, while Twin Twist is passed out with a shadow over his face, probably waiting for the horrific reveal of what the dentist’s done to him. Springer feels really bad about Impactor having been sent to Garrus-9; he’d figured that after the trial, Impactor had been sent to rehab, or at least a prison that wasn’t quite as torturey.

Impactor points out that Springer’s testimony at Aequitas was pretty damning, and I’m starting to wonder why Springer didn’t see this coming. Unless they somehow managed to move that massive friggin’ supercomputer in the last few years, Impactor’s trial happened on Garrus-9. Kind of seems like a foregone conclusion that anyone who got put through the Aequitas wringer would end up staying if found guilty.

Impactor still doesn’t think that what he did was wrong, and the only reason they stop verbally duking it out is because Twin Twist does his dramatic face reveal and the dentist comes back in to finish off those fillings.

Funny, they had a similar setup at my old orthodontist’s.

As the dentist prepares to turn what’s left of Twin Twist’s face into the “Lust” scene from Se7en, we get back to the real point of this whole miniseries: fanwanking. Ironfist is telling Verity about the Decepticon’s answer to the Wreckers- Squadron X.

This group is made up entirely of characters who only existed in the Marvel UK comics, and even then only barely. This is convenient on multiple levels; it allows the Wreckers to have an antithesis to their own group that won’t disrupt any of the ongoing storylines outside of Last Stand of the Wreckers. Nobody’s really vying to use the guy who beat up a piano and then got thrown out of a bar, now are they?

It also allows you to use an already-established character that still has plenty of wiggle room for story application. No point in trying to make a new set of characters when we’ve got a bin full of nobodies off in the corner. Especially when we’re only going to have these guys around for a few minutes.

But we’ll get to that later.

Back to Ironfist’s story…

Oh hey Whirl.

Springer’s in a bit of a pickle- his lower half is trapped under a busted barricade, and Squadron X is closing in. Impactor has no intention of leaving Springer behind, so it’s time to get crazy. Springer tells Impactor to blast a hole through his TORSO so he can surprise-attack the approaching enemy. Impactor does so, reluctantly.

Please note that the emphasis is not mine, but the narrative’s.

That’s just a cool panel.

Once all that’s over and done with, Squadron X are all put into inhibitor harnesses to keep them from trying anything funny while in custody. But oh ho, what’s this? They’ve escaped! And they’ve ripped Sandstorm’s arm off! Surely, this must be dealt with, and who better suited for the job than the dude who’s been obsessed with taking these guys out for years now? Impactor gets to work.

And thus the day is saved, thanks to the Wreckers! Yaaay!

With Ironfist’s story concluded, Perceptor takes the time to mention that they’ve got a problem. Turns out Aequitas has some state-of-the-art security measures going on- in order to even turn the thing on, someone’s got to feed the thing their spark. You know, a robot soul. This thing runs on souls, and the donator has to be a willing participant otherwise it won’t work.

Well that’s awful convenient for you, now ain’t it, Percy?

I’m assuming they just never turned the thing off during the trials, otherwise they would have run out of juice very quickly.

So it’s slim pickings in terms of sparks. Perceptor’s playing IT, Topspin’s whole spark situation is a consent minefield, and Verity’s soul is the normal, human, intangible kind. And now we get to the part of our story that’s a little sad.

Pyro and Ironfist aren’t popular. They’ve never been in the spotlight. They aren’t important. They were brought on the Wreckers to die, plain and simple, because it’s a game of numbers, and their numbers are miles below the likes of Springer and Kup.

Pyro isn’t on-board with this at all, saying that this isn’t how it’s supposed to go down for him.

Say what you will about his delusions of grandeur, but this is a guy who knows what he wants.

While Pyro’s dreaming big, Topspin’s having a really bad time in the background. That vicarious perception’s hitting real hard right now.

Ironfist plays the child in a bitter divorce between Pyro and Verity as they argue over who the hell should die so the plot can keep moving. Ironfist has a lot to say, a lot that he really should say, but he doesn’t. He’s not proud of himself, or the things he’s done as a weapons’ expert. After reflecting on his life- a life that hasn’t been profoundly wondrous or meaningful- he concedes to being the one to die.

But that doesn’t happen, because Topspin takes matters into his own hands and puts the goddamn dog to sleep. The dog in this case being himself and Twin Twist. Aequitas thanks him for his donation, sucks out his spark, and over in the torture chamber Twin Twist explodes.

With the twins(?) dead, Aequitas is online, and not a moment too soon, because those Decepticons are starting to bring the door down. Perceptor hands a headphone jack to Ironfist, tells him to plug it into his brain, and to get ready for the hurt, because they’re about to download the entirety of this supercomputer into his head.

Back with Impactor, he’s about to get his cornea scratched, when Guzzle and Kup come to save the day, following Snare’s guidance.

I just want to say, Guzzle wins the Worst Crotch award. It’s simply awful.

So Kup and Guzzle free Springer and Impactor, just in time for Springer to revenge-stab the dentist with the torture stick. Too bad he’s already shot Snare.

Play… makes you free... in the prison that’s been turned into basically a death camp. Is… are we really doing the Holocaust parallels again? God, I hope I’m reading too much into that, I really do.

We finally find out what the prize for winning the Pit fights is: you can either fight Overlord, or kill yourself. Not much of a prize, if you ask me.

Speaking of the Blue Terror, he’s on his way over. Snare asks that Impactor just kill him, because there’s no way he’s going to risk being found out by Overlord that he was being sneaky. Impactor obliges, crushing his brain module between his fingers.

Then Overlord quite literally explodes into the room.

Back over in the Aequitas chamber, Ironfist’s just finished with his upload, and he’s shaken by what he now knows. The Decepticons have nearly broken down the door at this point, and there’s only one way to save themselves- they have to detonate the prisoners’ deterrence chips. This, of course, includes Impactor. Perceptor’s all for it, but Pyro’s wholly against the idea. Verity tries to put in her vote, but humans don’t have rights in the eyes of Wrecker law, so it all comes down to Ironfist.

You heard the man, let’s kill the purple guy.

[bangtanislife-0612]

Impulse~ Part 9

Group: BTS

Au: Superhero

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x OC

Summary: Main Character has lost their job and needed money to pay for college, so they become a villain because it pays really well. The boys are a superhero group named Bangtan under organization named The Elite. The evil organization is called The Organization because I'm super original. Jungkook and OC are freshman  in second semester of college. Jimin and Taehyung are sophomores in college. Namjoon and Hoseok are juniors in college. Yoongi is a senior and Jin is graduated and working at The Elite. Basically Jungkook has a crush on OC in college, but doesn't know she's a super villain working against him so it's that kind of story.

                                                Impulse Masterlist

The awkward tension could be cut with a butter knife at this point.

Turns out Sunny wasn't a huge fan of the idea of bringing a superhero into our home, and then watching me casually take my mask off. It took awhile to calm her down and now we are all just sitting silently in the living room.

Finally Sunny breaks the silence by asking, "So like are you going to take your mask anytime soon or......?"

Pyro seems confused for a second before sheepishly rubbing the back of his head and answering, "Oh well, if I were to reveal my identity to you two it would reveal the rest of my group."

Sunny doesn't love the answer by her expression but leaves it alone.....for now.

I guess I'm up next to break the silence so I go for the obvious.

"What exactly are we going to do to convince the others that I'm not Voltage?"

Pyro sits up a little straighter in response and begins to explain his plan in perfect detail that makes me truly wonder how long he's been thinking about this.

Sunny sits silently through the explanation while I nod my head along the whole time and by the end of it we both share a look of agreement.

"So when do we start?"

I swear these boys are late every single time we plan to meet them, or surprise them in this case. I start pacing the small alley I'm hiding in and wait for the signal. I start going over the plan in my head over and over again that I almost miss it. Immediately I walk out of the alley and start heading down the street and then I see them. Walking out of the alley in front of me comes Bangtan and boy do they look surprised to see me, which is odd considering I’m finally dressed as a normal citizen. Now here's where my acting skills come into play.

"Oh my God!", I squeal before running up to the group.

"You guys are Bangtan aren't you! I'm such a huge fan!"

They all stand in shock for a few seconds, but thankfully I have Pyro in on the plan so he takes charge and steps forward thanking me. The boys look a little surprised to see him be the one to greet me first, but it helps them snap out of their shock.

"Um, hi little lady. What are you doing out here so late?"

I almost laugh at Shatter's attempt to ask me what I'm up to without sounding rude.

"Oh, I'm just heading back from a friend's house. What are you guys doing out here?"

They all just kind of look at each other muttering something about crime. I hold myself from laughing before asking for a photo, causing them to all kind of look awkwardly at each other before nodding yes. I get ready to take the photo with them before remembering what Pyro told me to say.

I turn to Golden Boy and ask, "Can you stand next to me in the photo? You're actually my favorite superhero!"

I don't know exactly what this has to do with the plan but what confuses me more is Golden Boy's reaction. He almost seems to choke on air before stuttering his way through what I assume is meant to be a sentence. All the other boys seem either embarrassed or amused. He finally gives a nod and we all take a quick photo together.

"Thank you guys so much! I should head home now, but it was really nice to meet you all!"

Before I completely walk off I quickly cause some flickering in the lamp next to me, and I catch a quick glimpse of the confusion and suspicion on the boys' faces as I disappear from sight.

Once I'm far enough away I give Sunny a quick call to let her know how it went.

"It sounds like it went perfectly. Now it's time for stage two."

Once I know for sure that I'm out of sight from the boys I run two blocks over where I'm supposed to be meeting Jae. Thankfully he's right on time and ready to go. I look around a bit making sure the coast is clear before letting out a loud scream and making sure to cut myself off towards the end. Once I'm done Jae immediately grabs my arm and we transport back to my room. He walks over to begin taking the sheets covering the windows down, but I stop him and reply,

"Don't take those down, you'll need the shadows later to transport Sunny"

He nods in response and we move to phase two of our plan, which is waiting for us in the living room. Sunny is facing away from us but quickly jumps around when I give her a whistle.

She laughs in response and gives a quick twirl all dressed up in my costume, looking eerily similar to me with her hair pulled up and mask on.

"You like it?", she asks.

I open my mouth to respond but she quickly interrupts me before I can say anything.

"Ah wait let me fix that", and asks again mimicking my classic seductive tone I like to use with the boys, "You like it?"

I laugh and nod in response as we all begin grabbing everything we will need for the next step of the plan. 

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