#was gonna be private but then i said im gonna flex on main

[kringletheelf04]

Work and a visit from an elf

(Chapter 4 of wrapped in love)

It's been eight months and the amount of mouth injuries I've gotten is impossible to count. Luckily my mouth instantly heals now, but it's still inconvenient. My canine teeth have sharpened and my ears have elongated slightly. Being a children's librarian it makes it easy to pass off as a cosplay in town. Dad is trying to deny what happened, but his hair has gone light grey and he has gained a lot of weight. I mean a lot. I'm setting up to record when I hear the sound of bells. I spin in my chair to see Bernard standing in my doorway.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"Just checking in. How's everything going?" Bernard sits onto my bed.

"Cool, cool. My mom doesn't want dad to ever see Charlie again, but other than that I've been good." I say pulling on my sweater over my tank top.

"Oh, sorry about that." He winces.

"They'll work it out. They always do." I shrug.

"What exactly are you doing?" He asks, looking behind me at my books laid out.

"I'm gonna be going to work at the library" I say putting on my barrettes. 

"Can I come?" He asks.

"Absolutely! Just wondering, why?" I ask, putting on my clip on earrings.

"I have to see what your like with children. It's customary." He explains.

"Makes sense." I nod as I grab the bag he gifted me.

"It's just down the road so I walk." I say slipping on my shoes.

"Are you sure you can walk in those?" He points to my platforms.

"Yeah, totally. I've been rocking platforms for over ten years." I smile.

We walk out the door and I lock it behind me. The walk to the library is a short but pretty one. The flowers seem to bloom and the birds sing in the trees. After a short five minutes, we are there. Entering the library, I am greeted by a chorus of hellos from patrons and coworkers. I clock in and walk back to Bernard.

"Reading corner isn't for another couple hours, I've got shelving until then." I gesture to my cart.

"That's okay. I need to see how you work with others anyways." He shrugs.

Quickly and efficiently I stock all the returns and still have twenty minutes until reading to the children. Bernard observes from the corner as I check out several people.

"Oh I love this book!" I say to the person I'm checking out, gesturing to the book Misery.

"I adore Stephen king and haven't been able to find this one yet. Im excited to read it." The customer grins.

"Well, tell me how you like it when you return it." I smile back.

The head librarian taps my shoulder as the customer walks away.

"It's time." She smiles.

I grab my small bell from the counter and make my way to the reading corner where Bernard already sits. I bring the bell up high and ring it six times. Children seem to come out of the brickwork and swarm around the reading corner. Some racing to the front and others preferring to sit back.

"What story are you telling today Ms. Calvin?" A girl with no front teeth lisps.

"Today we are reading... where the wild things are!" I drumroll and pull out the hardback.

"That looks scary!" A boy from the back calls out.

"Remember, it's fiction! And fiction means-" I start and they all bellow "fake!"

"The monsters in this book are not real and cannot hurt you! And if they were, I'd be here to protect you!" I flex my arm and the kids erupt into giggles.

"Now we have the main character, his name is max! And he's naughty!" I explain the premise.

I open the book and begin reading.

"The night max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind"

I flip the page. "And another."

Flipping the page "his mother called him wild thing" I say in a sweet voice.

"And max said 'I'll eat you up!" I give a gruff voice.

"So he was sent to bed without eating anything."

"That very night, in max's room, a forest grew." I rustle the potted plants behind me, "and grew- and grew until his ceiling hung with vines and the walls became the world all around."

"And an ocean tumbled by with a private boat just for max and he sailed off through night and day. And in and out of weeks, and almost a year to where the wild things are!"

The kids become enthralled with the story. Some stomp when the wild things do and some make scary faces. The children no longer appear scared and relax into the story. I close the book and set it onto the shelf.

"What story are you reading us tomorrow?!" A girl from the back calls out to me.

"Well I guess you'll have to come here to see!" I taunt jovially.

The group erupt into giggles and sighs of disappointment. They begin to scatter back into the library when the girl with no teeth approaches me.

"Ms.Calvin? Who's your friend?" She points to Bernard.

"This is Bernard! He's from out of state so he's just visiting for the time being." I lie.

"Oh, that makes sense. So can you tell me what book your gonna read next?" She pleads with me.

"Now Gisselle, that wouldn't be fair for the other kids." I ruffle her hair.

"I know." She giggles as she runs off.

"How'd I know her name?" I mumble.

"That's part of being Santa. They're all knowing. Most of the time anyway." Bernard shrugs.

"Oh. That makes sense I suppose. Anyway my shift is over, we better get back to pick up Charlie from the bus station.”

I sling my bag over my shoulder and punch out. I send a goodbye to the head librarian and she nods. Walking the way to Charlie's bus stop I think about what this means for my family. Getting to the stop, we wait about five minutes until Charlie's bus pulls up. I sit on the bench and change my shoes, a new pair appearing in my bag and I slip my platforms into it.

"Why the change?" Bernard asks.

"Charlie likes to be carried. And I can't do that in platforms without risking injury to both of us." I shrug.

The bus doors open and charlie is the first kid off, running to me with open arms.

"(Y/n)!!!" He throws his arms around me.

I pick him up and place him onto my shoulders.

"Bernard! You're here too!" He points.

"Hey sport! I'm here to see how your sibling and dad are doing." Bernard smiles.

"Dad's in denial. I learned the word from Neil." He smiles proudly.

"I'm sure you want to get home before dad gets back, so we better head out." I start walking.

Bernard trails behind us. We soon make it to the house and I unlock the door. Placing Charlie down, he kicks off his shoes and runs to the tv.

"Can we, oh can we watch muppets Christmas carol? Please (y/n)?" He asks with puppet eyes.

"It's not even winter yet, sport." I sit next to him.

"But it's my favorite!" He pleads.

"I can't say no to you, you watch it and I'll start dinner." I kiss his forehead.

I walk into the kitchen and start to prepare supper.

"This a new thing with him?" Bernard nods his head at the movie.

"Oh no! It's been his favorite forever. He watches it all the time." I clarify.

"So your dad. How's his transformation going?" Bernard clasps his hands.

"He's convinced it didn't happen. Even though we both have changed dramatically." I sigh.

"That's ok. You have three more months to get your affairs in order. Then you both will move to the pole." He wrings his hands.

"Like forever? How's that fair to us?" I get up.

"Well someone has to deliver Christmas presents. And your dad is now responsible for Christmas cheer." He holds his hands up.

"He's like the least cheery person I know." I try to explain.

"Well that doesn't matter now." Bernard shrugs.

"How am I supposed to tell him?" I ask.

"Not my job, sorry." He says, proofing into glitter once more.

"This is fucking bullshit!" I set the knife onto the cutting board.

I hear the door bell ring and sigh.

"Can you get that Charlie?" I ask him.

"It's the list!" He calls back.

The what now?

[axolotl-druk]

Oooh Can u please tell me any fun facts about the flora/fauna in South America? If u want to ofc!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BABE I WOULD LOVE TO (Im going to do 5, so I don't bore you)

Ok, first biodiversity here is wack you because the ecosystems can go from deserts, to the high dry Andes, to cloud forest (my favorite), and rainforest.

1. Where I live there are Lomas wich are winter oasis with plants that feed on the fog. There is a plant that is called  Tillandsia that feeds from the environment as their roots are exposed (they are not 100% parasites like orchids as they do not take nutrients from the plant) they also grow in rocks. Here is one, just vibing.

2. Penguins! The Humboldt current goes from Chile to Galápagos so there are 3 different species of penguins in the west coast of South America. If you watch The earth at night in Netflix there is a part where Punta San Juan appears, that is the oldest studied colony of Humbolt penguins and sea lions in Peru, in a Punta every 10 years people go to harvest guano from there (a type of manure) from the birds. The Inca civilization understood the importance of the birds, and there were laws against killing them 

3. Bats! Bats! Bats! Yeah, they exist worldwide buuut, in America, there are the micro bats which are the ones that echo locate (The largest one the flying fox only uses his eyes to see, the same as other macro bats), as they echo locate they have different noses, resembling a leaf that they used to magnify their calls. Also the genus of vampire bats goes from Mexico to Chile. There are only 3 species that feeds on blood beside insects, and they live here (points to my hearth). Others are really important in pollination and insects population controlling

4. Now time for the cloud forest. It can go up to 4000msnm and It is breathtaking, here grow a lot of orchids which are one of the most famous plants but there are even betters. Here is the paradise for non vascularized plants: some plants enter endosymbiosis with algae, some others with fungi (these are not lychens even through there is also plenty of that) some are just chilling from the carboniferous. I love how ferns look when they are growing. 

These aren't mushrooms these are sporangios from ferns 

Ok Im not done with the cloud forest. Here it grows the genus Chinchona one of the highest growing trees. From them you can get anti malaria remedies, like quinine which indigenous people from Bolivia, Peru and Ecuador used before the conquest. The weird drug hidroxicloroquine that people said was effective against COVID? it comes from quinine. 

5. I would say birds but there guys are creepy no matter where. So Im gonna go with manatees and river dolphins. They share space but manatees are shy and dolphins come out at night to steal your wife. Also they are pink, unlike flamingos or parihuanas (I forgot there is also those and I love them, focus Gabs, only 5) they have that color due to genetics and not what they eat. I mean PINK PINK

6. Ok why not: My favorite bird a Quetzal (Ok its from central America but just look at him)

[domjaehyun]

omg heyyy six thirty anon again living rent free in ur inbox B)x. BAE. my favorite song is six thirty now…. do u understand what you have done. the impact of this is global. but also my top three in no particular order are my hair, six thirty, and motive but also 34+35 remix which makes 4 yes but that remix is running in a league of her own sorry. HAECHAN IS JUST SOOO SEXY. like. it’s not funny anymore. like if i knew him in real life PHEWWWW like he could be ANYONE any random motherfucker literally but if he had THAT singing voice and that sense of humor my panties would be DROPPING no questions asked. like idk if you watched the dream hotel content that came out like a day ago but the way he was solving those puzzles LIKE WHY MY COOCHIE THROBBING MISTER?????? there’s something sooo intensely attractive about intelligence that may not show through like ‘oh i know a lot of math and science and 500 languages’ but like someone who can think their way through puzzles and problems and are like clever in a manipulative (but not negative) way and are intelligent with their WORDS like they always have something insightful and clever to say and people who are just really SHARP like so so quick to understand things. and like you said THE FACT THAT I CAN FEEL THAT FROM HIM EVEN THO HES SPEAKING A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LANGUAGE???? like i just KNOW his iq is high. and he’s so fucking funny literally a star on variety shows and is always carrying the humor like he is so hilarious he makes everyone laugh all the time and that is so fucking attractive like come here i want to show you off. also about changing the fics like girl maybe this is The Haechan Show. and what about it. like if i was haechan i would not be humble the world is a stage and EYE am the main character. he deserves everything ever i want him sooo bad. and also i totally agree and think the poll thing is a good idea but also. write who’s inspiring you. no point in forcing out a fic for someone when they’re not really who your thinking of. of course, do whatever you like OBVIOUSLY this is your blog you run the show always and it is always always up to you but i’d love for you to just write whoever and whatever you want because at the end of the day i’d much rather be reading something you were inspired while writing instead of something manufactured to fit a preexisting notion you know? but like either way it’s gonna be bombbbbbb because it’s not like if it’s not for haechan you’re going to be slaving away at the computer struggling to get words out like bby u got this regardless !!!! haechan so sexy saying his name 3 times in the dark in front of a mirror praying he shows up.

me, quickly falling in platonic love w six thirty anon: 🥴

look AWAY y'all... this is private... (under the cut.... bc u make me feel chatty.....)

WAIT BLS STOP THATS SO CUTE ALSO I'M . im taking it as a sign / a flex that 3 of the 4 songs you like most from the album are the songs i already published fics for (34 + 35 counts bc in my defense . the remix did NOT exist when i wrote it) the remix is EVERYTHING TO ME IT'S MY 3 FAVORITE ARTISTS ARE U KIDDING.... ARE U K I D D I N G.

and no fr haechan is . the literal sexiest mf i cannot take it . can he please stop i am going through it every second of the day. i could be sipping water and then haechan pops into my mind and my day is just . ruined. derailed entirely. and yEAH NO ACTUALL YLIKE . he reminds me . of the guy i worked w over the summer one year and like . listen . that dude . he liked me . a Lot . SO . HAECHAN WE COULD BE SO GREAT TOGETHER PLS JUST GIVE ME A CHAAAAANCE . haechan..........did u know we could duet..... we could sing together ..... we can have . concerts at home . i'll let u shine whenever u want .

"WHY MY COOCHIE THROBBING MISTER??????" i want you to know i actually just almost died from laughing at this......like i actually made so many loud and alarming noises that one of my cats ran over and was watching me.... then i proceeded to beg for mercy/my life in breathless sobs ....... then i exhausted myself and sat here like . entirely limp and eyes closed.... only opened my eyes bc my cat kept sniffing at my face in alarm.......

BUT NO FOR REAL . actual book intelligence tends to fall very short for me in terms of like. impressing me. like i dont actually care if you can recite random facts to me 💖 but if you have sexy logic and reasoning?? I WILL SWOON. I REALLY WILL. like okay...i have a secret for u again......... *whispers* i rly . actually . am capable of much higher levels of thought than i let on most of the time..... i like to . play dumb 💖 bc thinking is a lot of work and if ppl think i know nothing then they will not ask me shit i don't want to answer 💖 hHHHh THE WAY I WANT TO SPEAK SPECIFICALLY ABT THIS INSTANCE I HAD W THE GUY THAT GIVES ME HAECHAN VIBES... BC I THINK IT'D BE . SO ACCURATE... *screeches in anguish and shoves my fist entirely in my mouth*

but no actually like . haechan your mind is so sexy king please pick me king pick ME choose ME love ME!!!!!!!!!! no fr if i was as fucking perfect as he is i would . never fucking shut up . no one could tell me ANYTHING !!!!!!!!! EVER !!!!!!! LIKE MF DO YOU SEE ME?????

HSDFJGKD STOP "girl maybe this is The Haechan Show. and what about it." ...........YOU ARE A TERRIBLE INFLUENCE BUT . you are saying exactly what i want to hear so keep it coming baby i love to hear it 💖 everyone strap in bc if i decide to indulge my haechan thoughts to the fullest extent........... praying for all of u 💖

but YES youre so right your brain is so sexy love that for u omg ... you're v right i just Really Really Like Haechan and want to . give him as much appreciation as he deserves and for me,,, i could make my admiration clearest by expressing it through....art..... (yes right now i am . saying that explicit smut fanfiction is art. bear w me) but yes...... H...hhH...thank u......

ANYWAY THANK U BABY I LOV U ... i cannot summon haechan to my home i think i would die of embarrassment.... i'm in my jopping hoodie and i look A Disaster ... maybe one day when i am Hot and Dressed Up and my room is not A Mess 💖 will scroll through witchtok and do every single one of those spells that ppl are like "do not fucking do these unless you want them to be literally obsessed with you." and i will take notes and do each one 💖 kidding that's a lot of work and also scary so . will not do this but in a perfect world.... yeah....

[jrueships]

(Hands you detective au)

WOW!!! OMG THANK U!!!

IWBFIEB im /j of course fr thank u for this ask I've had a detective kinda au in my mind 4EVER.. multichapter pg/kawhi detective au... I won't write it yet because uhhhh looks at mountain of wips... looks away.. but YEA it's definitely a THOUGHT. My hatred of c0ps vs my love for detective aus.... FIGHT!!!

But BASICALLY the idea I have with the detective au is like... kawhi leonard was just some guy looking for a job to support his adopted son, Terance. One day he helped with a crime near his house and badda Bing badda bang! A detective agency liked his 'eccentric' thought process. It's basically a play on monk/Sherlock where detectives find a guy who thinks different than them so they make him do everything basically LMAO.. except kawhi doesn't Want to so everything. Despite being known for his austere exterior, the deaths stack onto him. He really hates his line of work but just suppresses it all deep down. To his quiet dislike, he ends up climbing higher into the forensic ranks due to his knack of solving cases. He gets pushed up from Arson with Kyle Lowry, a funny but kind of sad little fellow who misses his old partner transferred to another state agency, to Vice (AKA drugs) with Paul George.

Paul George isn't your ordinary humbug black and white detective. Though he did carry a pack of cigarettes and a lighter with his own initialed insignia, he only carried it for Style Points and Aesthetic. He takes most his cases with a grain of salt, just glad to be getting a good pay. He shows up to scenes wearing flashy, expensive suits and a cute hat with a bow. His shoes are always shiny and his baby blue corvette (fitted with it's own radio and sirens) is worth more than Kawhi's shitty apartment. He's flashy and shines his badge to all the ladies. A failed actor, He's obsessed with acting like his job is a movie and he the handsome main character.

He's recently new to the job, having moved up to replace Damian Lillard -- who suddenly quit. Paul's vain and jealous of Kawhi having quicker success than him just for 'being weird'. He constantly shoots offhand comments and let's Kawhi know who's the leader in this forced partnership. Kawhi could honestly care less.

I think I want chapter 1 to be them getting to know each other whether they want to or not. Chapter one is pg's big asshole era so it starts off with them getting sent to their first case together by the commissioner. The commissioner gives his complaints to kawhi rather than pg so that gets pg all annoyed. Insert a bunch of sarcastic and biting comments here. This continues even in the car ride, with Pg lowkey trying to flex his flashy accessories and higher authority to Kawhi's silence. Then the car stops at a red light and who do they see but Damian Lillard driving his rinkadink motorcycle. He quit to become a private investigator, saying he won't work with corrupt cunts. He throws Kawhi his number, flips off paul, and tells them Goodluck on their criminal case before speeding off before the light hit green.

This sends Paul back into a spiel, ranting to Kawhi about how Stupid Dame was and how he must be outta his mind. Then he starts putting up dumb ground rules to reestablish his superiority like rule 72 always say I'm right. Rule 56 always tell me I look sexy rule 57 always follow that up with a no homo though rule- You get it. That goes on for a Long while, and when pg is finally done he looks back at Kawhi, who hasn't said a single word since getting in the car, and asks if he has any questions. Kawhi nods and asks "can you turn on the radio."

Pg does. Reluctantly. But only because his voice was starting to get sore from all that talking.

Chapter 2 ... I am still thinking. I have a case in mind for them to solve but... it's a lot to think!

But I really want there to be a scene where they have to chase a runaway culprit but his sprinklers turn on so pg refuses to run through them and get him. So he just kinda points at the culprit's retreating form and barks at kawhi like "gO GET HIM!!! THAT'S MY MONEY RUNNIN OUTTA THE BUILDING, YOU BOZO!!"

And I want there to be a scene where pg and kawhi are scoping out a suspect at a diner so they have to squeeze really close together in a booth and snoop in a dark corner. Pg ask kawhi to light his cig for him (while it's in his mouth that's very important) ... they start bonding a bit. Kawhi talks a little. Pg starts noticing that kawhi isn't this kinda special golden boy detective but just a guy whos trying to make a decent living. He comforts kawhi after he sees a bad body.

I also want a scene down the road where kawhi gets shot and the closest place for treatment is his apartment so pg drives (and kawhi gets blood all over his nice car MAN!! "Leonard I swear you're gonna live and you're gonna wash this SHIT off my car, man!!") him home and kicks open the door to start getting to work on healing that wound. Kawhi is more concerned with not letting Terance see him like this... pg shows his Caring side and is really nice to terance.. gives him his badge to play with in another room. Also hands him his sketchpad he uses to draw the suspects so he can doodle away. Mandatory terance asking if Paul is kawhi's boyfriend. Mandatory Paul dodging the question by saying he has to go help dad-KAWHI. And he does and paul REALLY realizes that kawhi is just some guy who just thinks different but that doesn't make him any better or worse than pg and it's like "oh. Maybe he's not so bad..."

And YEAH. I think I want the end to have a twist. Blah blah they find out the agency is corrupt (probably take money from drug dealing gangs to not bust em all). They both end up quitting detective work to join Damian's private agency to put a stop to dirty work.

BUT YEAH!! Those are my ideas for it!!! Kinda long I dunno!!!! Ummmm ! Yeah! Lmao! Buddycop dynamics have me by the THROAT 😭

[saintkimora]

well i finally found time to type this all up so! here is the story of how last last friday and saturday night went (not the ones from this weekend but the weekend before so like a week and a half ago). it isnt really a nice story but it is significant. first part is tristan then joel then tristan again, the tristan parts are good but the joel part is pretty bad. this is only part 1 btw! sorry @ that one anon a few days ago bc this might make you even more mad lmao

first part: tristan! so on friday i was in the library holding an online eboard meeting for gsa and tristan (the first guy i talked to for a while then hooked up with like 2 years ago and last christmas eve) was apparently studying in nexus which is the building next door to the library. and he sent me a snap (it was clearly the type you send to a lot of people it wasnt like an individual one) of him captioned i hate studying so i sent him one saying i hate planning events bc thats what i was doing. so we snapped back and forth for a while and then the library closed so i was leaving and he was like “come say hi to me in nexus” so i was like ok! 

so i went and sat across the table from him and we talked for like an hour and a half and it was so nice! hes v good to talk to but our conversation dynamic was kinda similar to me and joel’s dynamic so that was interesting. he called me my voice cute at the beginning bc i was like “sorry if i sound weird im a little congested today” and he was like “no you sound like you always do, its cute” so i was like hm so then we talked and caught up and it was very good conversation! then at one point after asking how i was in general he was like “so how are you doing....romantically” and i told him how i was with someone rn but i was kinda having some issues and he was like oh ok and i asked him and he said hes looking but its hard bc people keep ghosting him so i was like aw :/ (but on the inside i was like well thats what you get for ghosting me all those years ago lmao) 

also at one point i told him i go to the gym now so i have a little bit of muscle and he was like “yeah haha sure” and i was NOT about to take that so i was like “i can show you right now if you want” (i was wearing a tank and a zip up hoodie) so i took off one hoodie sleeve revealing my arm and i flexed and he was shook he was like “oh wow you werent kidding, thats actual progress” and i was like ha

after an hour and a half he had to go meet his friends or something so i went home. overall it was super nice! i loved talking to him so later that night i just sent him a nice text thanking him for spending time w me and saying how much i enjoyed it and then he thanked me for keeping him company and said he really enjoyed catching up so that was nice! then later that night things took a turn for the worst.....

so at this point it was friday night and joel and i were texting as usual, we were having a nice convo and were making jokes and what not. then after i asked about his day he texted me this “its fine but i just got another fucking email from slut A and im over it” and i was like “slut A......” and he was like “fucking tinamarie” (the girl who always causes trouble for his theatre club that gets him really pissed off even though it really isnt that serious) and i was like “yeah i figured but did you really need to call her that” and he was like “if youre literally gonna criticize every single word i say then im just gonna stop talking” so then i apologized like 3 times but he left me on read and didnt talk to me for the rest of the night

so! the second i read that final text i had like......a panic attack? or something? idk but it was a mess i got soooooooo cold instantly like i put on sweats socks a hoodie and 2 blankets and i was still trembling and my teeth were chattering so hard i couldnt even talk bc it just came out as gibberish and my toes were numb and my heart was beating fast and you know all that good stuff. i texted several hunties but none of them answered so i decided to text tristan! he was v nice and he comforted me and talked me through it which i appreciated. but like getting that text reminded me so much of the texts i would get from caleb so it just made all those feelings come rushing back and it was v overwhelming but i wasnt about to call joel about it bc he was already mad at me and i was scared i was gonna make it worse

about an hour later i sent him a long text saying how sorry i was bc he wanted to vent to me and i shut him down when i shouldve just taken his side and stuff bc i wanted to try to fix the situation. half of it was lies though like i was not sorry for what i did at all bc he should not be calling this tinamarie girl that! he didnt read that text until the next morning but even after he didnt respond. he was def still awake when i sent it though bc i saw him active on fb messenger slightly afterwards. anyways the next day tristan texted me again to check on me and see if i heard from joel which i hadnt by that point but i really appreciated that he went through the effort of doing that! joel and i had plans to go to the mall that day so i texted him around 4pm (this is saturday now) saying i hope his auditions went well and asking if he wouldve still liked to go to the mall w me. he said he wasnt feeling up for it bc hes tired and i was like not up for the mall or not up for me and he was like just the mall, you can come over instead. so i went over and brought him popeyes bc he was hungry and we hung out and watched dragula and talked and it was like a completely normal day so i was a little surprised he didnt bring up the events of last night. so like 3 eps into dragula s1 i asked him if he could pause it so we could talk so he did and this is where things got worse

so i was like “so....how are you feeling about what happened last night?” and he was like “well it was fucking annoying because i wanted to vent to you and you tried to school me, im already socially conscious, i know its wrong but it was the first thing that came to mind at the time” and i was like “well if you are mad at a woman and your first instinct is to call her that then that might be a problem” and he was like “can i be a fucking human?” like ???????????????? the STUPIDEST excuse like that makes no sense! you can be human without saying misogynistic things like.....annoying. he just had soooo many excuses he was like “oh its ok bc i would never actually say that to her face” like...ok great to know that being socially conscious is just a performative thing for you! if you only do it in public but are still problematic in private then like...whats the point

he was also like “it may seem like a small issue that isnt important to you but her emails are actually a huge problem. YOU wouldnt know since your organization isnt as involved, but her actions affect every area of the organization so its stressful to deal with her” like heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeereeeee we go again idk why he always tries to drag my gsa for no reason. i didnt even say he couldnt be stressed or angry with her i just said he shouldnt call her what he did! 

so now for when it got personal. so i told him i was like “i know you were mad and wanted to cool off so i wasnt gonna force you to talk to me, but it wouldve been nice if you just sent me a text like ‘oh perry im mad and dont wanna talk rn, i need some space ill talk to you later’ instead of just ignoring me for the rest of the night” and he was like “well i didnt have time i had too much going on with the organization” and i was like “i mean it takes 10 seconds to send a text” and he was like “well i didnt want to” OH so now the truth comes out! and then he was like “i was already stressed out with the email so then its like ‘oh now i have to deal with perry too’” and like..............that was really hurtful bc literally the main reason i rarely ever bring up any issues i have to him is bc hes already so stressed with everything else and i want to be a source of happiness in his life not another source of stress so im afraid to bring things up bc i dont want to add to his stress and be another thing that he has to “deal with” so like, he literally vocalized the exact reason im afraid to talk to him about these things so its just confirmed my suspicions and now i feel even worse about bringing up any issues i have with him 

i didnt tell him about the panic attack yet but i did say “well i mean im sure you can tell i was upset, since i sent you a long ass apology text an hour after the convo ended. and if it was the other way around and i knew you were upset about something i said i wouldve dropped everything and called you right away to fix the issue” and he said.............. “well im not gonna prioritize you” like.... !!!!!!!!!!!!! ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! great! we already knew i was at the bottom of his priority list but at least now he basically admitted it :/ i was just like well ok

that is the end of part 1 bc im splitting up this post lol