#was gonna be me? like 2 weeks ago?
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Oh this is the middle/end of the second season shit is going to get REAL pretty dang quick and I guarantee not a single one of you is prepared for how
I sure as hell wasn’t 👀
Y’all ain’t even met the best characters yet
Man, even the smallest of side character in Dungeon have such heart and impact.
So in chapter 78, the elves (led by Flamella) have an opportunity to kill Laios. They believe that he is certain to fall to the Winged Lion and doom them all, and they have told everyone else as much. Laios friends and acquaintances, though conflicted, stand by.
The orcs are the first to protest. They are ready to fight for Laios (and their own best chance for freedom, through him). But no one else takes action.
Until...
Oh hey, it's Doni!! From what, like... chapter 3?? That's cute. It's even kind set up, since you can see him and Fionil in the chapter before this, reacting to the news that Laios defeated the Mad Sorcerer.
It's a small detail, but you can even see that Fionil has her hood up. Probably that's tied to the extra info on her from the Adventurer's Bible - she's a Canary spy.
Wait. Hold on.
Fionil is a spy. If that news comes out, she risks both her ties to Doni and possible arrest or punishment from the elves. She has been hiding out and trying to stay under the radar. But despite this, when Doni comes forward to vouch for Laios, so does she.
So yeah. THAT is the context of these panels:
That's why she's crying here. That's why its notable that she lowers her hood.
Fionil puts her life at risk by coming forward and standing by Doni. And it's these two that spur everyone else into action. Doni and Fionil save Laios, and Laios saves Marcille, and then they and the party go on to save the entire world.
I'm proud of her...
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi spoilers#anime only#< could not be me apparently#was gonna be me? like 2 weeks ago?#and then i got impatient waiting a whole week for next ep#and decided i’d read the manga that corresponded to the eps i already watched#and then i remembered i am bad at stopping cuz we were on ep5 and i was reading chapter 20#and then the goddamn canaries arrived and rewrote my brain chemistry#and i finished the manga in 2 days#seriously tho the slippery slope of dungeon meshi is legendary#like you think laios is a fucked up lil guy now#‘oh he eats monsters weird’#he’s not even STARTED getting weird looks from other characters#also it’s deadass the most faithful anime adaption i’ve ever seen so far#yyh in close second and making me sad cuz they also added a bunch of extra scenes and shit around the regular manga panels#and i would kill for this in dunmeshi tbh#i just want a montage of kabru and crew getting attacked and wiped out in the dungeon like 6 more times#rip anime onlys there is no actual way to prepare yourself for how this series ends even with spoilers#it’s gonna get ya the first time no matter what
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wunderbar !
#nightmaretheater#sasha nein#psychonauts#Sorry i just really like drawing distressed sasha#This art is directed at me. It tells a story only i know#sometjing skmetjing younger sasha bejng stressed and a complete foreigner being askedsooo many wuestiosn Wahhh#….Was fun to play with restricted colors to :) love restricting my colors#to the one person (me) who knows what this is refferencing ;#Yes there was gonna be a 4th image but i ddint do ti Giggle#The color choice and shapes are intentional. By the way. Walks off#anyways *stretches* Back to the art caves#…his hair is kind of annoying 2 draw sometimes. giggle#Lso my art style changed mid drawinf bc i took a break from it Lol#also i will not stand down let a woman have veiny hands#rRHRHFHGJJJggahdhfhhGgsh chews up the walls of my room#11 hours on canvas + prolly more btw#started this like a week or so ago Giggles
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Part 6: The Summit Prev | Next (Soon™️) | Start
Two parts left! sorry to end on a lil cliffhanger of sorts. also sorry i'm going to continue to be very mean to jolyon. also also sorry i will not be finishing this before tfs launches lol 🥲
ID below cut like and subscribe etc
Panel 1: Wide shot of Crow and Jolyon sitting on a rock on the summit of a mountain, looking down at the dreaming city below. The sun is starting to rise over distant mountains, and the dreaming city is covered in taken essence, with black taken orbs hanging all around it. Jolyon is leaning forward with his arms crossed and his elbows resting on his knees, while Crow is leaning back on his hands. Jolyon: “Thanks for doing this with me.” Crow: “Of course. It’s been… really nice, catching up.” Jolyon: “Yeah…
Panel 2: Close up of Jolyon’s hand from the side. He is curling it into a tense fist where it’s resting on his bicep. Jolyon: “... Can I ask…”
Panel 3: Close up of Jolyon’s face in profile. He is staring straight ahead with a pained expression on his face as he speaks. Jolyon: “Why now?”
Panel 4: Side view of Crow as he turns to look at Jolyon. He has a curious expression on his face. Jolyon (offscreen): “A few years ago… I heard about what happened, with Savathun. That you had remembered your past life.”
Panel 5: Side view of Jolyon. He is turning away from the Crow, and his expression is not visible. Jolyon: “When you didn’t reach out… I guess I just assumed you hadn’t remembered me.”
Panel 6: Side view as Crow looks at Jolyon with a mournful expression. Crow: “I…”
Panel 7: Crow turns forward again, looking down at the ground with a sad expression. Crow: “I’m not sure I did, at first.” Panel 8: Flashback of the Radiant Accipiter, idling in empty space. Crow is visible through the windshield of the ship, he is hunched over in the pilot’s chair with his head in his hands while glint floats beside him. Crow (Present day): “He was so far gone at the end - whenever I tried to think about his life, it was like a bomb going off inside my brain.”
Panel 9: Close up of Crow looking down past the camera. He is clutching his face with both hands, one hand is tearing desperately at his hair while the other is covering his cheek, nose and mouth. He has a horrified, distant expression on his face, and a tear is running down his cheek. In the background, a cracked surface shows many scenes from Uldren’s rampage. One fragment shows a close up of Uldren’s eyes as he turns towards the viewer with a hateful expression. Black rivulets of corruption are flowing from his eyes like tears, and the sclera of his corrupted eyes are black and seeping into the iris. Another fragment shows several dead corsairs lying on a stone floor in pools of blood. Another fragment shows a close-up of Cayde-6’s face, staring up at the viewer defiantly. His face plates have been badly damaged. The final fragment shows a close up of Uldren’s hand holding the Ace of Spades hand cannon, with smoke coming out of the barrel. Crow (Present day): “Nothing made sense, all I could feel was… what he felt. The things he did…”
Panel 10: A wide shot of Crow lying in bed, bundled up in his blanket. The room is dark, and a window is open, with bright sunlight shining in through the curtains. Crow (Present day): “But eventually…”
Panel 11: A close up of Crow holding Glint with one hand. Glint’s eye is closed, and he is humming gently. Crow (Present day): “I was able to start picking up the pieces.” Panel 12: Closer shot of Crow lying in bed. He is clutching Glint against his chest with one hand, rubbing his shell gently. With his other hand, he is holding a golden ring on a chain. He is staring blankly at the ring with a sad, tired expression. Crow (Present day): “To put together who he had been before.” Panels 13, 14, 15, and 16: A sequence of fuzzy, incomplete memories. The first is a shot of Jolyon in his uniform, from his waist to his chin. Most of his face is not visible, but he seems to be scowling. He is partially obscured by a misty, dark blue background. The second memory is a shot of Uldren lying back in green grass on a sunny day, eating raspberries. He is looking to his right, at someone just offscreen. He is laughing lightly, and looks peaceful as he holds a raspberry up to his mouth. The third memory is a shot of Jolyon’s dark blue Supremacy rifle leaning against a wall, next to where his green cloak is hanging. The fourth memory is a partial shot of Uldren resting on his hands and knees above Jolyon, who is not visible. Uldren is shirtless, and a golden ring is hanging from a chain around his neck. Jolyon’s hand is reaching into frame, holding the ring in his palm where it hangs. Uldren is smiling down at him warmly. Crow (Present day): “You were… A puzzle that took me a long time to figure out. A face I couldn’t quite name, a feeling I couldn’t quite place.”
Panel 17, 18, and 19: Another sequence of memories, which are more clear than before. The first panel is a head-on shot of Uldren, staring up past the viewer with a confused, strained expression. The scleras of his eyes are black, and the corruption is starting to seep out of them. The second panel is a head-on view of Jolyon, staring down at Uldren with an intense, searching expression. The third panel is of Uldren, who is looking away to scratch at his right eye with the heel of his hand. His hands are cuffed together at the wrist, and he looks frustrated, and distracted. Crow (Present day): “When it finally came together, And I realized how terrible he had been to you… I was too ashamed.” Panel 20: In the present day, Crow is leaning forward, and staring distantly down at the ground, while Jolyon watches him talk. Crow: “To let himself fade away like that, to forget you, while you were standing right in front of him…”
Panel 21: Close up of Jolyon as he looks away, and stares sadly into the distance. His brow is furrowed and he looks conflicted and tired. Crow (offscreen): “I didn’t think I could face you, after that. I didn’t think you’d want me to.” Jolyon: “...”
Panel 22: front view of Crow and Jolyon sitting side by side. Crow is leaning forward heavily, looking down at the ground with a grim, slightly frustrated expression. Jolyon is turning slightly towards Crow, though he is not looking directly at him and is expression is sad and distant. Jolyon: “What changed your mind?”
Panel 23: Close up of Jolyon’s face. He looks slightly surprised and is looking directly at Crow, offscreen. Crow (offscreen): Petra.
Panel 24: Shot of Crow as he hunches away from Jolyon, rubbing his right arm self-consciously. He is glancing out of the corner of his eyes back at Jolyon with an uncertain, guilty expression. Crow: “Last week, hunting Riven’s eggs took us… Somewhere that reminded me of you.”
Panel 25: Close up of Jolyon as he watches Crow out of the corner of his eyes. His brow is slightly furrowed, and he looks uncertain.
Crow (offscreen): “After we got back, I asked Petra how you had been, and…”
Panel 26: Close up of Crow. He is smiling lightly, staring down at the ground with a distant, soft expression and blushing faintly. Crow: “She talked some sense into me. Reminded me that I shouldn’t just assume you were better off never knowing me. That I at least owed you the chance to make that decision for yourself.”
Panel 27: front view of Crow and Jolyon sitting side by side. Crow is turning back towards Jolyon with a soft smile. Jolyon is also looking at Crow, smiling faintly. Crow: “I guess… some things haven’t really changed, right?” Jolyon: “Ha.”
Panel 28: Close up of Jolyon’s face from the side. He is staring straight ahead again, smiling faintly. Jolyon: “Right…”
Panel 29: Jolyon looks slightly down, his smile has fallen and his brow has furrowed as his expression grows distant. Dark, scratchy marks are bleeding into the edge of the panel, fading out the edges. Jolyon: “...”
Panel 30: extreme close up of Jolyon’s eye, squeezed shut. Dark scratchy marks surround the panel, creating a chaotic background and bleeding into the panel. Voice offscreen: “Jolyon…”
Panel 31: A younger version of Jolyon turns towards the camera from the side, with a confused expression. His hair is pulled back into a bun, and he is wearing a light green sweatshirt. The background is faded purples and blues, and Jolyon is outlined in surreal surreal shades of pink and purple. The panel is outlined by dark scratch marks, spiky thorns, and black flowers outlined in vibrant shades of pink, purple, and green. The text bubbles appear to be glitching out, with scratchy fragments coming out of them. Voice offscreen: “Why’d you do it?” Jolyon: “What?”
Panel 32: Shot of Uldren sitting on a rock, from behind. He is leaning forward, resting his hands on his knees, and staring down at the ground. His hair is falling over his face, and his expression is not visible. The surreal lighting continues in this panel, and Uldren is outlined in pinks and purples with the panel being surrounded by dark scratch marks, spiky thorns, and black flowers outlined in bright colors. Uldren: “Why did you come with us, Jol?”
#lol lmao 'last week' bestieeeee that was 6 months ago!!#& yeah im still fixated on that one mention of an unexplained ring uldren had from like 4 years ago. what of it#destiny 2#crowlyon#jolyon till#crow destiny#uldren sov#cw blood#cw hallucinations#me: im gonna keep this simple so i can finish this comic faster. also me: i can fit five whole panels into this one panel sick
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Day 1 Graduation!
@ppkm-week
#ppkm week#ppkm#butterfly soup 2#butterfly soup#noelle butterfly soup#akarsha butterfly soup#digital art#fanart#art#doodle#was falling asleep while making this so i had to call it quits#gonna work on tomorrows day during class tomorrow wish me luck#goodnight im tired#i love these guys#reminds me of my graduation whichwas like a day after i started dating my gf#i love my gf did i mention that#we cosplayed min and akarsha for a con a few months ago#ppkm week 2024
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A Rainy Evening
Thank you to everyone who came to the stream yesterday! I had a lot of fun working on this piece both during and after, and the style experimentation made this one really pop. Be sure to click in and zoom to see all the lovely texture from the brush I used, because that's the best part imo :D
#my.art#<- dont mind me forgetting that tag for 2 whole days#im probably gonna put a full-res watermarkless version up on patreon later#bc this piece just Sang to Me#also considering getting it printed on canvas or smth cause im so proud of it#but i have to figure out where and how to do that ;alsdfj#anyway.#art#digital art#digital painting#original art#concept art#<- this piece started out as just scribbles but. much like the desert landscape a couple weeks ago.#it turned into concept art for a place in The Lost#you'll be seeing a lot of this environment in chapters 3 and 4 :)
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if i ever say that i dont like digitaltime . thatz not me – a skinwalker haz violently murdered me and stolen my identity – immediately seek shelter
#that last image iz basically tony in a nutshell#/j#i showed a couple of friendz my first drawing [which iz based on another one i made a while ago but i digress]#n one of them politely asked me to put christmas hatz on them#nd i did#maybe ill upload it separately ? whoz to say – dependz on whether or not i deem it tumblr worthy#az it standz . i just have some silly gay people that i wanted to show off cuz i miss them#ive kinda come to termz with the fact that the project ive been stressing about so much izn't going to be finished in time for the 25th#i guess itz just gonna have to wait until next year ... if ill even be around until then .... or . rather . if ao3 will ....#im rlly disappointed though – i managed to write 26k wordz in the span of a week in the past#but now i wazn't even able to squeeze out more than 5k in the span of like . 2 monthz#pathetic . no ?#sighhh#better luck next time ...#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis ship#dhmis au#high voltage au#dhmis tony#tony the talking clock#dhmis hv tony#dhmis colin#colin the computer#dhmis hv colin#dhmis digital time#digitaltime#whatever . at least i managed to make thiz . right ?#thatz progress . yeah ?#yeah ...
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#BRUHHHHHH I NEED ANOTHER TEASER I BEG YOU RIOT#ITS BEEN THREE YEARS I CANT WAIT TO USE NEW CONTENT FOR GIFS LMAO#personal tag#dont look at me im just here to complain about content drought lmao its really not good in fostering a healthy fandom ngl#because ppl will just hyperfixate and consume media for like a month and then the fandom goes poof right after lol#i miss all the people scrutinizing media every week i miss all the essays pumping out when content arrives#these days its just.... nothing lmao i only really still have arcane in my mind because of fanfiction and a lot of fics have been inactive#ik we're getting new stuff in a few months#and ik we're not in canceled shows hell but like#i really hope that if theres season 3 we're gonna get it a bit more regularly#i really miss it when content was like weekly or every 2 weeks because ppl and the fandom are wayyyy more active during those times#binge culture and netflix sort of changed it lol#i miss it when fandoms were huge!!! i miss it when it was so CHAOTIC lmaooooooooo#I MISS WAITING FOR LONG ASS HOURS WAITING FOR CONTENT TO RELEASE EVERY WEEK!!!! I MISS IT!!!! that was like what 12 years ago LOL#I KNOW arcane is special with their 3 year drought because it takes time to make arcane#but like..... idk man i miss content lmao#iirc they took too long to make s2 bc they have no idea if s1 would be even renewed#so i hope s3 will be a bit more regular now#anyways im gonna go bye bye
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In honor of @flameboar posting the last chapter of his fanfic Happy Together here's some of the art I've made for it over the past few weeks. My brain has been infected by his version of my blorbos. Go. GO fuckign read it. Im so excited for the sequel
#tmnt au#tmnt fanart#fucking. idk what to put here#i'll add more tags later#my art#we're all gonna ignore how dif xever looks in that stupid meme comic I drew it in like an hour 2 weeks ago#banging on the bars of my enclosure . Adam I love them#me staring at the worst fucking character#in this fanfic: mhm. *making out reaction image*
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first up for the components' refs is my girlie joule. been thinking about her design lately. im very fond of her 90s-00s london costumes, where she was still using the animal truck costume but transitioned to being called the dynamite truck. plus added purple accents <3 and giant hair <3
#my art#fanart#starlight express#stex#stex ref sheets#joule the dynamite truck#joule stex#hey guys remember how WEEKS ago i said i was gonna start on references for the components? yeah well im starting now#i considered waiting and putting them all in one post but i realized it might take me a second to get to them all#or it might take me 2 seconds. either way heres joule#i like you. (gives joule tiny little gay bangs)
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we saw an enormous giant water bug in the parking lot tonight while walking the dogs and i didnt know you could find them Here much less so far away from any facking water now im terrified.
I feel like when i was a kid and got scared after watching jurassic park bc i thought there'd be a raptor behind every door like I don't want to go to the bathroom rn at 4 am what if the water bug is There.
#ID NEVER SEEN ONE IRL#it was on its back and on our way back home it started fluttering its wings. i did yell a bit.#i still get nervous about tarantula hawks because of the one time we had one right outside the house#WHICH IS ALSO CRAZY I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE HEREEEEE. WHY ARE THEY NEAR MY HOME.#talkys#ive already been on Roach Mode since seeing one like 2 weeks ago#i get nervous to go to the bathroom at night bc what if i go to turn on the lights and theres one on the light switch.#or i close the door and its on the door.#or if its in the toilet. again. bc that has happened to me.#now i have to worry about the giant water bug too...theyre gonna gang up on me LMAO#<- this is a joke like i know there wldnt be a water bug in there after all this time of never ever seeing one#but like. what if. ykwim. what if.
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struggled a lot with tweeks pose unfortunately. love how kenny turned out!! if only it was their week but its NOT!!!
#TweekWeek2024#hohoho!!!! HOHOHO!!!!#it begins!!!!!#tweek tweak#kenny mccormick#south park#sp twenny#twenny#tweek x kenny#when i saw this prompt like 2 months ago i grinned SO WIDE#I SMIRKED AT THE 4TH WALL COMICALLY#got some stuff planned for this week#its kinda not a very cool week for me personal lore wise#but im hoping tweek week can help with that#ofc…. i have some personal art planned……#smirking#lets just say#im forever a crazy ex girlfriend#i LOVE being a crazy ex girlfriend#but this was fun to draw#i was gigglin and shit#mu anatomy is actually visibly improving kinda???#might share some sketchbook doodles ive been doing eventually.. donf count on it#rrying SOOO hard to make this one project work rn#not gonna reveal anything because i dont really want to pressure myself into doin it#itll come natural#but taylor swifts music has been a huge inspo lately#been hyperfixating a LOT on hermitcraft/life lately. thats where ive been. practicing and binging hc#been happy though!!! doing SO much better mentally!!!! <3333#thats the life update i shuppose
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okay well tough and sweet ch2 is gonna be longer than ch1 by a landslide bc it's at 9.2k words already and i've still got ~2k words to go lol whoops (help) but i'm hoping to finish it today >:)
little snippet for ur patience w my inactivity tyyy <3
#tough and sweet fic#i was gonna split it into 2 chapters but idk i feel like it's fine as long as no one cares ab them taking longer to write lol#i say that but i posted ch1 less than a week ago + i'm already nearly done ch2 i've never written so much so fast it's got me in a chokehol#but i do need to finish ch6 of yad(iym) once i'm done this ch bc i'm neglecting the poor stalag babies <3#genuinely tho don't understand how i'm writing this so easily/fast like ik this is 'normal' for lots of ppl but for me this is Not#not mad about it just baffled why was this au what it took to get me in a writing flow like this. a twink and a dilf?? rly??
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Have u ever drawn fem whitney idk if ive seen urs yet
Not yet actually ! I'm planning to do this big thing where i draw every single dol LI in both genders but i figured it would be boring if i drew them like just A-posing? so i thought little interactions would be cute. It's still a wip tho,, but here's the Whitney one !
#i alr know it's gonna take me weeks to finish that#i started it like uff 2 weeks ago??? but i haven't touched it much cause im still imagining what the others look like in my head#whenever i play i just kinda imagine a faceless blob most of the time maybe a silhouette and hair but no details#f!whitney has a septum bc i also want a septum too but im too afraid to commit 💀💀#degrees of lewdity#whitney the bully#franswers#saint#froodles
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im still pretty fresh out the psych ward so i have some pretty bad writers block as you can probably imagine however i have also been coping with my suicidal depression slash burn-out induced leave from work by watching shitty christmas romcoms. and im not at a point yet where i can Write the fic so bear with me while i just get the plot bunny hopping here. or whatever
so anyway im brainstorming all the sickening holiday tropes i can that i can feasibly put two guys who are in the most intense fake dating gay chicken relationship you can imagine before one of them breaks and goes ok you got me i actually liked it when you grabbed my ass and called me darling or whatever. obviously it’ll take a lot to get to that point because the pride is bigger than the ego or something like that so i’m open to suggestions here but. so far ive got
ice skating. timeless classic. character a sucks and keeps falling on their ass and character b is, for some stupid reason, a total pro at this and is going to do all the waist-grabbing-slash-hand-holding-slash-laughing-at-character-a that that necessitates. probably pretty obvious who is the bitch who cannot skate and who is the one laughing at him. and also catching him when he falls and being a total jerk about it. because isn’t that just a wholesome mental image
the quintessential only one bed obviously. this has more to do with the circumstances of the plot in my head than it being christmastime specifically but the holiday rush factors in there somewhere. never mind the whole fake dating angle
the whole Thing is christmas parties and whats a christmas party without a) too much wine and b) some well-placed mistletoe. and yeah maybe c) some stupid matching ugly christmas sweaters. i will never get sick of that one
gingerbread house decorating. but theyre forced to be collaborative about it. someone dies. its the most godawful gingerbread house anyone has ever seen. but thats really damaging to their prides so they really get their shit together for a beautiful 15 or so minutes and kind of make it look better and still lose the competition anyway because 15 minutes of harmony does not negate 45 minutes of throwing candy at each other like bullets. with the very real intention of Causing Pain
some kind of excuse to have them walk around together with a group of people in the evening when its dark and they can admire the christmas lights. whether it’s some kind of holiday charity work or just seeing the christmas lights or, god forbid, carolling, there is something to be said about the experience of slipping on a patch of ice on a cold winters night and having the worst time of your life because your so-called boyfriend think its hilarious that you just ate total shit. thats romance babey
last-minute christmas shopping…already a nightmare ordeal but now you have to do it because you and your fake boyfriend need to bring a joint gift to a christmas party but you cant agree on anything, ever. they are getting kicked out of no fewer than 5 stores guaranteed
ok i think im all out of holiday torture scenarios but well. i’m sure i’ll be back. ideally with actual writing but everyone is telling me to take small steps so. we’ll get there if we get there and if not then that’s ok too
#taylor.txt#tagging this as a wip would be generous but oh fuck it#wips#i didnt name any characters but they popped into your head didnt they…be honest#there are some beloved holidsy traditions i didnt include because they dont fit the Vibe (baking for example)#we could probably work a snowball fight or something in here tho#anyway im gonna try to sleep now because im back to work for the first time since friday 2 weeks ago tomorrow and im. feeling complicated#about it. hoping it will be a good thing for me but admittedly im a little fragile at the moment and am really only clinging to my sanity bc#my biggest responsibility lately has been like. loading the dishwasher or keeping an appointment with an OT#that being said though the fact that today i had the actual capacity to think about Blorbo from my Show is a good sign
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also picking raspberries turned out to be.. really fucking hard
#it's so physically demanding broo ToT#idk i feel like im just weak af because some people there seem to do it so easily and i can barely#do half a day#and they want me to do a full day tomorrow bro#like#I'm so tired after half a day..#i genuinely feel like i might just collapse or something#i do want that bit of money tho but it's sooo exhausting#i went there for half a day today and it killed me bro i was just lying in bed#and i didn't want to fall asleep cause it was like noon already but#i didn't even have the energy to look at a phone lmao#well it's gonna be over this week probably cause#the raspberries are going to stop growing in a few days apparently they're saying in 2 days#we're going to be done#I'd love to make more money but I don't think i can fucking do ittt#its so physically demanding whyyyyy#and why are there grandmas working with me in that field and they seem just fine BROOOO TOT#but yeah now that im thinking about it this also might be part of my problems cause#im soo much.ore irritable rn just cause im literally exhausted all the time ughhh#i came back home 3 days ago and i haven't even had the time to sit down at a desk and draw something#not even mentioning energy aughhh
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Omg i haven't been updating lately but guys I'm moving out of my abusive household :D it's so surreal and anxiety inducing and change is scary but i will persist!!!!!!!
#basically for a while I've been paying all my mom's bills while she refuses to get a job and psychologically abuses me#the bills thing isn't inherently abusive! sometimes ppl need help! but the way she treats me is#any time i stand up for myself or ask her to please stop manipulating me‚ she calls me a narcissistic abuser and selfish and awful stuff#she steals rent money from me to the point that i have to hide it‚ and tells me I'm being selfish and immature if i spend money on myself#like stuff that isn't really necessary but makes me happy#not even like expensive shit‚ she gaslights the hell out of me if i spend more than $20 on a frivolous item#and it's not that she can't work‚ she just doesn't want to. she's into mormon tradwife shit and is like ''i need a man to provide''#she's worked as a line cook/at call centers/delis/hotels etc etc. she just doesn't /want/ to work#this is also bc she thinks she's the bride of Christ and is like ''the day of reckoning is coming so i don't need a job''#also she regularly goes through my room and takes stuff and like‚ goes through under my bed to see what I'm hiding#which is super invasive and weird#and she got super verbally abusive 2 years ago when i was physically disabled (literally using a cane) and couldn't work#Anyway. our rent has been $1475 and i also pay electricity and wifi and every other bill under the fucking sun#and she tried to get me to sign the lease and i said no! cuz me and my cousin are actively looking for a place to rent together#so i might be out in 10 days or by the end of the month depending on what the apartment office says#I've been packing up my stuff and I'm gonna be staying with my cousin and her fam for a couple weeks#it's way closer to my work and I'm gonna take my cat and stuff so it's chill. big changes are really scary cuz autism but I'll persist#a.txt
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